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azrielbrainrot · 4 months

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I'll Be Here

Azriel x Healer!Reader

Description: You feel a little out of place at a celebration in the House of Wind and a certain Shadowsinger comes to the rescue.

Word Count: 3605

Warnings: None

Notes: I had this stuck in my head and decided to just write it down. I'm not really a writer so bear with me please. Hope you enjoy!

part of the healer!reader universe

It's hard to keep an eye on how much wine you drink when the glasses get refilled magically. You've heard that this house has a consciousness of its own. Maybe it can sense your growing anxiety and keeps filling your glass in hopes of helping ease your mind a little. The more you drink the more worried you get, the thought that getting too drunk will only put you at a higher risk of embarrassing yourself having infiltrated your brain and pushed all the rational thoughts out. Big gatherings aren't exactly your cup of tea and the fact that this one was personally hosted by your High Lord didn't exactly help ease your nerves.

You've visited the House of Wind before but always as a part of your duties. Though it was because of your duties you were invited to this dinner so maybe you could add this attendance as part of your job. The High Lord and High Lady decided to invite notable people in Velaris for a night of celebrating the thriving city. After losing its High Lord for decades and the war that followed his release, Velaris went through some tough times but with the help of its people - most of them gathered in this space tonight - the city was once again prospering.

As a healer you usually see the High Lord and his Inner Circle in a state of emergency, when your abilities are needed and there's usually no time for formalities or worries. Every time you encounter them outside of those situations you never know what to make of yourself. You wouldn't say you're completely inept at social situations but you're definitely a lot better at handling them when they involve your patients and you have a job to do, something more important to focus on than choosing the right thing to say.

Your relationship with the Inner Circle is professional albeit friendly. It's hard not to feel your heart warming at the cupcakes the General insisted on buying you for helping heal his wings even after explaining that you actually only helped on his recovery process. Every time he drops by the clinic to pick up any herbs or ointments he insists on buying you one - though you suspect it's also an excuse to get one for himself - and when you see him out and about he demonstrates how healthy his wings are, having done it just before dinner when he was in charge of flying you up to the house. The painting the High Lady personally painted for you, as an acknowledgement of your efforts during the war, hangs right behind your desk in your office at the clinic and is one of your most important possessions.

This would be the kind of relationship anyone would kill to have with their employees - friendly acquaintances. But, since you were there for some of their most intimate moments and helped them through them, you never know how to act when you're not doing your job. You can't exactly call them your friends, even putting the fact that is your High Lord and High Lady aside, outside of work you only exchange some pleasantries whenever you bump into them. However there's too much knowledge for you to act completely professional after decades of nursing them and their family back to health. It feels awkward to shake their hands when they have hugged you with tears in their eyes, thanking you for saving their family.

There's also the tiny detail of the crush you've harbored on the resident shadowsinger ever since you first laid eyes on him. On top of trying to walk the line between friends and strangers with everyone else, you also have to be careful with not letting the observant Spymaster find out about the beat your heart skips when you see him. Making things awkward because of a silly crush is the last thing you need.

It's that reminder and the monumental effort you have to make not to let your eyes search for him that has you finally sneaking out of the room, deciding to find a quiet place to sober up. The House had fed you too much wine, and you still had to be flown back down at the end of the night. You'd really hate to throw up on Cassian's fancy suit. He probably wouldn't buy you cupcakes ever again.

You remember some of your surroundings after decades of being called in for emergencies, quickly finding one of the huge balconies overlooking the city. The fresh air grounds you almost immediately. You can still hear the muffled sounds of the ongoing party but the quietness of the mountain lets you get lost in thought. As much as you enjoy the liveliness of the nightlife in Velaris, you infinitely prefer the quietness and freedom only the woods or mountains at night can provide. When it's only you, the moon and the stars, and the world stops.

You don't know how long you sit there for, leaning on the railing and looking into the distance, wondering why your healing abilities work on some forms of poison but not on sobering you up. Your head only comes back to earth when you hear a familiar voice calling out your name behind you. You turn around fast enough to make you a bit dizzy, leaning back against the railing with wide eyes.

“Didn't mean to scare you,” the shadowsinger explained, “I just noticed you were gone from the room.” You spot the way he's bringing his wings closer to his body, making himself smaller, if that were even possible. Azriel made you feel a lot of things but you hadn't felt scared of him in decades, ever since the first time you met him. If you hadn't been already tipsy and distracted thinking about him you wouldn't have reacted so dramatically.

Realizing the spymaster of this court had just found you wandering around his house unattended, you rush to apologize and give him an explanation.

“I'm sorry. I needed some fresh air and remembered there was a balcony around here. I shouldn't have left the party without permission.” You make to move back, showing you were ready to go back to the party but he raises a hand and takes a step closer to you, stopping you before you can.

“You're not a stranger to this house. No need for permission,” he took another tentative step towards you before continuing, “Do you feel better now?” You relax back against the railing, your heart beating fast for a whole different reason now. It's not often you get to see Azriel out of his leathers and you barely had a chance to see him up close tonight, he looks mesmerizing.

“What?” Maybe you didn't sober up as much as you thought. Maybe being this close to Azriel was just an intoxicating experience in itself. Either way your brain was having a hard time catching up to his words and your chest was starting to feel warm.

“You said you needed some fresh air.” There's a glint in his eyes that wasn't there before. Probably realizing that you weren't actually going to be sick. His shadows peak behind his shoulders, following their master as they usually do.

“Yes. It was just getting a bit stuffy in there.” Aside from the butterflies creating a hurricane in your stomach, talking to Azriel feels right. His calm demeanor lets your thoughts quiet. “I might have drank too much because of the nerves.”

The Shadowsinger moves until he's leaning against the railing next to you. His eyes wander the illuminated city slowly before meeting yours. Stretched wings hang in what you assume is a less straining position after having to be pulled tighter into his body in the crowded room. Shadows start rolling off his shoulders, now lazing around him instead of covering him. The soft wind moves his hair ever so slightly, letting a few strands curl around his forehead and giving him an almost boyish look. It's not often you see the spymaster appear relaxed. You decide it might be your favorite look on him.

“Nerves?” Your eyes search his face once again after hearing the confusion in his voice. Azriel has a permanent seat at the High Lord's table not only as the Night Court's Spymaster but also as someone Rhysand considers family. This night isn't so different from every other dinner he shares with his family, just more crowded.

“I've never been to this house outside of my duties. It's a bit nerve-wracking to be personally invited by the High Lord.” As you finish speaking one of his shadows curls around his ear. You've learned they do this when they're speaking to him. The thought of it being about you has your heart speeding up. Only the Mother knows just how much those shadows can see and hear, if they can hear your thoughts. You check your mental shields just in case. They can be as terrifying as they are beautiful.

“Rhys and Feyre couldn't have thrown a party celebrating the strength and courage the people of Velaris have shown without one of our best healers. You've helped more people than we could ever thank you for.” The warmth you felt in your chest before was now spreading up your neck at an alarming rate. You had just been doing your job but being recognized for it felt incredibly rewarding. The fact that this praise came from the shadowsinger was making you especially giddy. “Rhys invited you because you're very important to this court, to us.”

“I am?” The question comes out before your brain has a chance to catch up. You try not to cringe at the surprise in your tone. It's not that you're not aware of your capabilities, the High Lord and High Lady either call for you or for Madja, one of the most powerful and wise healers you have ever seen. But old insecurities will always show their claws, indifferent to your achievements. To think that you could be important to all these extremely powerful people seemed like the punchline to a joke.

“Of course.” His body turns to you ever so slightly. Fingers uncurl as if he wanted to reach out, comfort you. “None of us would be here in good health if it wasn't for you, maybe not at all. You've helped us more times than I can count.”

“I was just doing my job. And I can't take credit for Madja, I'm usually just assisting her.”

“Even so, you've helped us through a lot.” He sounded very sincere, there was no denying he meant every word, but you still have a hard time believing it.

“I just don't think I really fit in here,” you whispered so low that if it wasn't for his fae hearing he wouldn't have been able to make out the words. The admission felt heavy in the air, it felt good to let it out. You hadn't been this honest with anyone, perhaps even yourself, in decades, you must have drank way more wine than you initially thought.

You weren't born in Velaris, but you've lived here for a century. The problem is you've spent the better part of that century waiting on feeling like you finally belonged. You never felt at home in your own court or in your family so it might have been wishful thinking that it would happen here.

“I think like that sometimes too.” As baffled as you were to hear that coming from him, he looked even more surprised than you. It seems he hadn't meant to say that out loud, but the words couldn't be taken back now.

“That's insane,” you try to level your voice after the outburst, "You're part of this family. Why wouldn't you fit in?” You couldn't let him think like that, there was no doubt in your mind everyone here loved and cherished him like family.

Rhysand's inner circle was known for how close they were, they were seen as the High Lord's family regardless of if they were blood related or not. Azriel has always been calmer and you know he likes to keep to himself but you never thought he looked out of place for a second. It's hard to imagine Rhysand and Cassian without his brother.

His eyes were trained on the city under you. His shadows had come back to him, almost covering him completely. Azriel was quiet for a while, long enough you thought he wouldn't even give you an answer. But then you feel a shield form around you, lest someone wanders in and hears his next words.

“Sometimes things and people change while you stay stuck in the same place,” his eyes meet yours as he talks and you search his expression for the rest of the story you know he won't tell. If there's one thing you hate about the shadowsinger is his ability to mask his emotions. His face was the perfect stoic mask as always.

It's not hard to understand what he meant. In less than a decade the inner circle almost doubled and some of the dynamics had likely changed with it. His brothers have found their mates, something every fae dreams of, and he was the odd one out. Even the Morrigan and Amren had found lovers in recent years.

You had heard some rumors he had taken a liking to the middle Archeron sister after pining for the lovely Morrigan for centuries, but she had also found her mate. Not even his methods of interrogation could make you admit you were avoiding the entire inner circle during that time. The hope you had felt upon realizing he wasn't looking at Morrigan like she hung all the stars in the sky was short lived and it only made you feel pathetic. You didn't understand why it had affected you so much. This was just a silly crush after all, you had never considered actually pursuing a relationship with the shadowsinger.

“I still don't understand how Amren got a lover before you.” You had meant to clear the heavy air between you but why your brain decided to use the millennia old creature to do so was beyond you. “I mean she's just…” you continue, startled by your own words, praying to the Mother that the shield he put up stopped Amren from hearing you, “Well, she's fae now but wasn't before and is still mildly terrifying, even after the transition, and you're so-” Wide eyes meet hazel and nothing could ever prepare you for the look on his face. The amusement shone bright in his eyes and in the teasing grin he wore. Just when you thought the shadowsinger couldn't get any more beautiful.

“I'm so?” He tilts his head a little as he asks the question. His shadows start almost dancing around him, like they can't wait to hear your thoughts on their singer. You clear your throat before continuing, trying to salvage some of your dignity.

“You're the Spymaster, the only known Shadowsinger. That's incredible, anyone would be lucky to have you.” Something flashes in his eyes and your mouth starts back up at the thought that it could be disappointment at the impersonal description. Azriel is much more than his role in this court and you can't let him think that's all you see in him.

“You're also one of the kindest people I've ever met. I've seen you worry over every single person in that room, putting their needs over your own even when you're also injured. You always keep your composure for them and give them your support. I've seen you around Velaris too, you're always respectful to everyone, even when they're a bit scared of you.” Eyes drag themselves back to the shiny stars in the night so you can keep going without wanting to jump off the balcony and making an even bigger fool of yourself. “Even as far as looks go... I would bet my house that if we walked down any of these streets we wouldn't find anyone that doesn't think you're stupidly handsome.”

“Stupidly handsome?” The amusement was dripping down his voice at this point. The smile was unmistakable in his tone and you couldn't hold yourself back from watching him any longer. You feel yourself relax at the grin plastered on his face. It isn't often that the shadowsinger shows any emotion at all, and you can't help the pride in knowing you put that gorgeous smile on his face, especially after the somber turn the conversation had taken earlier. You continue despite the warmth you feel in your ears, you'd compliment him for hours if it meant he wouldn't feel sad ever again.

“I've actually heard someone use those exact words to describe you.” You've thought it to be the most accurate description of the immense beauty the shadowsinger radiates ever since you heard the barista use it. Apparently she hadn't been born in Velaris and had taken up the job only a few days prior to serving the illyrian. She had barely held the compliment down long enough for Azriel to exit the building, shooting up into the sky. A few fae present couldn't contain the laugh at the fervent appreciation of the shadowsinger, but the air of agreement shared by everyone was unmistakable.

“I'll have to let my mom know,” there was laughter in his tone, “I'm sure she will be very proud that her son is receiving such compliments.” You hadn't known his mother was still alive which makes you think it's meant to be kept secret. You almost curse at the way your heart flutters. Stupid crushes.

“I'm sure she is very proud of you regardless.” He doesn't give away any hint of what might be going through his brain and it leaves you in a slight panicked fear of overstepping or having said the wrong thing. You could swear you saw a glint of disbelief but it was gone too fast for you to be sure. The idea that the Spymaster couldn't see his own mother being proud of him was ludicrous to you.

The nod he gives you doesn't give any of his thoughts away, but his shadows keep moving slowly around the balcony, never rushing to cover him.

“Why are you single then?” You know he's changing the subject but you don't have time to consider that when you realize it's your turn to answer the questions.

“Me?” You barely register the slight nod he gives to show you he's expecting an answer. If you had shadows of your own they would have wrapped around you like a blanket until only the top of your hair was peaking out. “How do you know I am? Are you using your spies on me, Spymaster?”

“I have to be well informed of what happens in this city,” he searches your face just like you did to him, “And as the spymaster I'm more than familiar with deflection. You don't have to answer my question. Tell me if I'm overstepping”

“No. It's-” you cringe, trying to find the right words. “I just never found anyone special I guess.” Even talking about this with him has your heart swelling in your chest and you pray to the mother he can't pick up on any changes in your heartbeat. You've been avoiding this conversation with family and friends, but despite all this you know Azriel will understand and won't make fun of your feelings. It feels safe talking to him. “I get really busy sometimes so it's hard to keep up a proper relationship, even with friendships. Sometimes people need more time than what I can give them.” You try not to think of all the times you didn't measure up to other people's expectations, when they didn't see you as enough for the trouble.

“They're idiots for letting you go.” You don't know if he's being polite in not mentioning how your heart keeps speeding up or if he thinks you're drunker than you are, but you thank every deity you can think of that he doesn't say anything.

“Some things just aren't meant to be.” You hope he doesn't insist on this conversation. There isn't much else to say and you'd rather not keep talking about how many times you'd gotten dumped. You consider pointing out he never gave you a reason for being single and that he was the one actually deflecting, but you don't want to push what clearly isn't an easy topic for him to discuss either. You suspect Azriel barely opens up with anyone, so you'll just treasure the brief look into his heart he allowed you before.

The rest of your night is spent with the shadowsinger, sitting in that balcony, watching the stars and talking about anything. The next day you'll sit in bed mortified, thinking about how you were doing most of the talking while he listened, but he had seemed content enough so you couldn't have been too annoying. When the party ended you had said your goodbyes to your hosts, without the previous nerves after your conversation with the shadowsinger. Feyre had even asked you if you were alright because she also noticed you leaving in the middle of the party, though something about the glint in her eyes told you she had gotten the wrong idea. Then Azriel had flown you down the steps and winnowed you to your front door - even though you could do it yourself. Maybe you'd have to rethink calling the inner circle your friends.

#azriel x reader #azriel x you #azriel x y/n #azriel fic #azriel fluff #azriel acotar #azriel shadowsinger #divider by saradika #healer!reader

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ellaenchanting · 2 months

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Hello, I have a new sub (he’s new to all kink, including hypnosis) who is definitely experiencing hypnoamory.

I keep trying to explain to him that hypnoamory is not safe but I don’t fully understand the risks myself so it’s difficult to explain them to him.

I can’t find much online and you have amazing insights and I’m hoping you can help explain it to me, so I can explain it to him?

Thank you, in advance.

-A

Reader's follow up message for context:

"A here, I asked about the hypnoamory. It seems almost like he’s falling in love, and it’s been obscenely fast.

He keeps mentioning (undefined) feelings, and is expressing them strongly. Wanting to constantly be with me, even if it means breaking his own rules of not being on a Zoom call while his sister (his roommate) is around. (I nipped that in the bud and said I didn’t consent to that.)

When I suggest caution, and bring up, hypnoamory, it’s quite hard to explain to him why it’s risky when I don’t fully know myself.

(I’ll admit, some of these (undefined) feelings are reciprocated, and that also worries me, because how can I take care of him, if I’m also dealing with it.)”

Answer:

Hi anon!

Thank you so much for this question! I'm really excited to answer it. Not only do I (apparently) have lots of thoughts here, I'm really excited to hear about what others have to say on this topic. Hopefully we’ll create some good discussion about hypnosis and love and consent/safety- I know I’m really curious what people with different experiences have to say about this!

ON HYPNOSIS AND LOVE

For this response, I’m going to assume “hypnoamory” means love or attachment that is created primarily or largely through hypnosis play. I know someone on one of my Discords defined “hypnoamory” as a “speed run to intimacy”- another definition that can really be fitting. It makes sense to be concerned about a partner who seems to be feeling too much or moving too fast. How do you manage a relationship with someone who seems to feel so much so fast?

So- to back WAY up: We tend to think of love as this magical, enigmatic thing that just happens to us, but there's actually a fair amount of research on variables that may lead to greater connection and even love. There’s no one formula that applies to all people, but there are some actions that seem to make love more likely. Sex is one- a good orgasm involves dopamine, oxytocin, vasopressin and these are all neurochemicals linked with attachment. Of course, people often HAVE sex to express their love so the attachment is already there but it's also seemingly common for people having casual sex to fall for one another.

Emotional intimacy is another common precursor to love. You may have seen this list of 36 "questions that lead to love" floating around (https://www.verywellmind.com/unpacking-the-36-questions-that-lead-to-love-8559179) . This list of questions works (when it works) because it speeds up the natural process by which people build intimacy. It invites sharing and listening and vulnerability and trust. Those same things will happen naturally over time in a healthy relationship, using the questions is just designed to speed that process up.

These ideas may be a good framework to start thinking about hypnoamory. Hypnokink play is often full of things that are known "love triggers" for many people- things that would naturally make them more likely to bond or even fall in love. Hypnosis itself seems to release some of the same neurotransmitters associated with love- dopamine, GABA, serotonin.* There's often sexual arousal and sex/orgasms that make people feel good. Happy calm feelings. Happy safe/cared for feelings. There's novelty and learning. There's communication and trust. There's engaging in an activity both people enjoy. There can be feelings of danger, leading to physical arousal and then emotional/sexual arousal. There's dependence. There’s intimacy. In fact, the whole process of hypnotizing someone is giving them the illusion that you're in their brain. What could be more intimate than that?

Then there's the kink aspect. Pretend someone has gone through their life with this secret, hidden desire. It’s something they dare not talk to anyone about for fear that they’ll be mocked or shamed. No one else in the world seems to get their kink. They don't even know if the thing they want is POSSIBLE.

Then, one day they meet a person who DOES get it. Not only does this person get it, they seem to want the same things. And, better yet, not only does this person have similar fantasies, they actually want to DO the thing. With YOU.

How could you not fall in love?

Here's a personal anecdote:

When I fell in love with my wife, it happened slowly and gently. We dated, we got to know each other, we hung out more and more, and then I turned around about a year later and I was in love. I was like a dropped feather- slowly drifting downwards until I gently landed on the ground. Happily and safely eased into love.

I fell for my first hypnokink partner like a rock falls from a cliff. It FELT like those teenage romances from books and movies- Romeo and Juliet, Buffy, Titanic- landing with a big "thump" of feeling and obsession. I was well into adulthood when it happened, fortunately, so I didn't do anything too disruptive or embarrassing with it. I was in a situation where I could talk it through. But- I remember being able to finally understand how people in love could do crazy things. It DID feel a bit like an addiction. I was going about my life and then- completely knocked on my ass. Nothing I had done before prepared me.

All of this is to say- hypnoamory definitely exists. It doesn't happen all the time** but in my experience it happens frequently. And, just like love "caused" by sex or answering the 36 questions or, say, surviving a disaster together, I wouldn't say hypnoamory love is inauthentic. In fact, I don’t think love CAN be inauthentic. We feel what we feel. What I WOULD say, though, is that most people caught up in that initial high are experiencing a particular stage of love called "infatuation". (Around the community you may also hear the term “new relationship energy” or “nre”- it's basically infatuation but make it poly). The infatuation is fun but can also be a cause for caution.

People contrast infatuation*** with "real love" but IMHO that’s short sighted. For many people, infatuation is actually the first stage OF being in love. When someone’s infatuated, attraction feels almost overwhelming. Your whole neurochemistry (dopamine, norepinephrine, phenylephrine) is driving you to spend more and more time with the person you love. You think obsessively about the other person. You feel bad when they're not around. It feels a bit like an addiction.

Strong infatuation actually resembles being high in some ways. Like when you’re high, your amygdala isn't quite working right and thus your judgment can be impaired. This is the phase where people can sometimes feel extra compelled towards bad decisions. They may do things like move in with someone they just met, leave a long-established relationship for someone new and hot, or stop doing things to take care of themselves****. They may neglect other important parts of their life and people in their life. In kink, someone who is infatuated may push for strong attachment play (brainwash me!), push for constant contact/play, or disregard boundaries that were pretty firm before. They may want to jump into the most intense kinky play more quickly.

For most people, infatuation is a phase. It can last from days to weeks to years depending on the person (and the research you're looking at) but- ideally infatuation will settle down into a more stable relationship in time. It’s not the strong impairment of being drunk (or being hypnotized)- it’s still pretty accepted in the hypnokink community (and in general) that someone who is infatuated can give reasonable, legitimate consent. That consent may just take a bit more discussion and thoughtfulness.******

Also- on the positive side, infatuation can be really fun! And being in love feels great! Being infatuated doesn't automatically mean someone is immature or unintelligent or incapable of having a kink relationship. Infatuation is just a possible side effect of hypnokinky play (and kink play)(and having a relationship)(and life).

A NOTE ON SUB FRENZY

In addition to “nre”, another term you might here around the community is “sub frenzy”. Sub frenzy is the tendency for new subs to want to do ALL of the things (and often play with all of the people) when they first get started in a kink. It's like infatuation, but for an activity instead of a person. My friend @daja-the-hypnokitten (who suggested and really helped out with this part of this answer) described it for me as being like someone who always thirsted and never got water- but now that they HAVE water they might gulp it down and drink so much that they make themselves sick. Someone who is in sub frenzy may push for tons of play in a way that harms them/where they neglect other things and may push for the most intense play ASAP.

A lot of the suggestions I talk about below might help with both sub frenzy and regular infatuation for a person. My friend suggested that what's often most helpful for her is having logistical conversations about her stronger desires- (ex. “Hey, if I give you a fetish for the color red, how might that work practically? What problems may come up? What safeties might we need in place?”) That way, she knows an idea is being worked on (which can soothe that craving for more more more now) but is also thinking about it in a practical way instead of just as a hot fantasy.

COPING WITH INFATUATION

So- infatuation is common in what we do, especially if you are someone’s first kinky partner. That being said, I definitely understand your caution with it. You're looking out for your sub and not wanting to influence them unduly. You don't want to continue a relationship dynamic that may be unhealthy for them. It speaks well of you as a dominant that you are paying careful attention to how your sub is doing and what may be influencing them/their consent.

Here's how not to handle it:

1. DON'T go for a magic cure. For some people, it would be tempting to want to cure this by hypnosis itself- to hypnotize your partner and give them a suggestion to not feel love for you anymore. That would be a BIG mistake. Repression tends to cause more problems than it answers and trying something like this could lead to really bad consequences. Also, especially if you tried this without your sub's conscious consent, it would be a big violation of their personal autonomy and their trust in you.

2. DON'T go radio silent or start backing away from your sub without talking about it. If you felt responsible for your sub’s feelings or actions, you might be tempted to limit your contact with them to not do any more "damage" to them. Shame or regret may make you want to back off. If that’s happening, I urge you to reconsider it. You can have kind intentions, but if you just disappear one day, your sub will likely blame himself and that would create problems in future relationships. He might think about you MORE after being ghosted or feel more in love with you in unhealthy ways. For some people, that sudden drop can keep them ruminating about the relationship for YEARS. You'd also lose everything that YOU have invested in this relationship, as well as the chance of it being healthy and rewarding relationship for you. Your sub being in love with you isn’t something you’re doing TO him, it’s just the situation you find yourselves in. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad one.

(This isn't to say you shouldn't be able to set boundaries for your mental health and even safety- I’ll talk about this more below. There might even come to a time when going radio silent is the best option! Hopefully, though, disconnecting without speaking would be a last resort if other attempts at boundary setting didn’t work .)

Here are some things to consider instead:

-DO have a big ole conversation with your sub. Several conversations. MANY conversations. ONGOING conversations. It sounds like you've already started having these. Great! It's totally fair to express your concern about his feelings using some of the language and explanations in the first section. That being said, ultimately neither you nor he are going to be able to control what he feels. Being infatuated is usually not something someone can just decide to stop doing. That’s not how feelings work. "I'm worried you're in love with me because of our hypnosis play" may be a good place to start a conversation but- it doesn't give him a lot to respond to. He can't just choose to not be in love with you any more- just like he can't choose to make you not worried. It may be helpful to think more about WHY you’re worried- what do you think might happen? Do you want him to change his behavior towards you right now? Are things OK now but you’re worried how this may affect things in the future?

A lot of times, starting from concrete observations might help start a conversation. Ex: "I know you've been talking more about how much you care for me. You've seemed more willing to push your own boundaries- like having your sister in the room when we talk." From there, you can move in to what you're worried about. (ex. "I'm worried you're getting so caught up in our play that you aren't studying", "I'm worried you seem to be neglecting your other relationships", "I'm worried that you're ignoring your boundaries and that you'll end up either regretting it or getting hurt.")

After you state your concerns, give him time to talk and listen to what he says. Ideally, you'll be able to both express your point of view and understand each other's by the end of the conversation. From here, you may be able to work out a plan together to address what’s going on. Or, you might be in a place where the plan is to keep touching base about your feelings- or even in a place where the hypnoamory doesn’t feel so worrisome. I know for me and my sub, we'll have frequent "hey, am I influencing you too much?" check ins. At this point, those check-ins seem to function primarily to provide reassurance to me as the domme- but that’s ok! They're also good chances for both of us to discuss how our D/s is going, what we’re feeling, if we have any new boundaries we need to set, etc. Even if I’m initially nervous about bringing something up, I usually feel really reassured when a conversation is over.

HEY, ARE YOU INFLUENCING YOUR SUB TOO MUCH?

I didn't say this above but I'll say this here- I doubt your sub's strong feelings are due to the way you're doing hypnosis or hypnokink. A lot of things probably have more influence on how he is feeling and responding than your play together. After all, people naturally get closer and have looser boundaries and pick up each other's preferences/habits/mannerisms the more time they spend together even without kink. In hypnokink we sometimes romanticize some of these natural responses as part of “brainwashing” but- in actuality, they’re normal parts of many longer term relationships. However, I don’t want to ignore the role hypnosis and kink play may have in influence. Here are some things to consider if you are worried that you are influencing your sub too much in play:

- How ARE you wording your suggestions to him? Are you telling him that he's enraptured, helpless against you, worshipful, obsessed with you, etc? Are you implying or saying you're the only one that can make him feel this way? There's a lot of language that people regularly use in hypnokink that wouldn’t be out of place in a particularly saucy Victorian love poem. I doubt these words alone are creating love whole-cloth, but this kind of flowery kink talk is also packed with suggestions and suggestions can have effects. Even the harsher-sounding kink talk- things like "You are my property" or "You're worthless without me" can create dependence and feelings of love. Flowery sexy hypnotalk suggestions can linger sometimes even if you are "just" role-playing or if you give suggestions to “cancel” those previous suggestions at the end of a session. They also might not! It really depends on the person! (Example- Think of a sad movie you've seen. You can often still feel the sadness now even though you KNOW the movie itself wasn't real.)

If themes around romance/dependence/worship are coming up in your scenes, it's a good idea to be mindful about them and how you're using them. Is this something that you both consciously wanted as a theme in play or did it just kind of sneak in because those are typical tropes? How are you both feeling about those themes now? I wouldn't say to stop speaking in ways that are hot to you both, but talking about how and when and why might be a good next step. Sometimes even both consciously and verbally setting intentions about what you want the relationship to look like outside of scenes helps. Know that even in really self-knowledgeable subs, there can be "bleed" of emotions from in the scene to out of it- so it’s good to keep checking in! “Positive” emotions especially may have this tendency to linger.

Putting limiters around a scene may not work perfectly, but it may help prevent some emotional bleedover. Some ways you might do this could include setting up fantasy scenarios/ role play, consciously undoing suggestions at the end of a scene, or "locking" suggestions to limit them to a certain person/certain time/certain place. Doing good check ins after a scene and aftercare can help you discuss lingering effects- especially if the aftercare moves someone out of a submissive headspace and into a more normal one.

- Are you doing long term conditioning? If you're doing any suggestions that linger outside of a scene, those suggestions have the chance of tying the other person to you (even if unintentionally). Here’s an example that seems really innocuous: Pretend that I give someone a suggestion that every time he walks through a doorway, he will touch his nose. This person does this a bunch of times during the week. Fun! Silly! But also- there's a secret sneaky second trigger in here. While this person is touching his nose, he is also likely thinking of me, the hypnotist who gave him that suggestion. Maybe he thinks of how much fun we're having together or how hot it is that I've compelled his behavior. It IS hot and fun! Now he’s thinking of me in hot/fun ways a bunch of times a day -every time he walks through the door, in fact! It might not have been my intention, but I’ve accidentally conditioned my guy to think of me in positive ways all day every day. No wonder he might start feeling attached! And this is just a basic example. Imagine the associations that could happen if he had to ask me before he had an orgasm!

Conditioning happens outside of play too. Are y'all talking all day every day? Are you doing positive things at each other randomly and unpredictably? Those actions are probably making you feel closer. (Those unpredictable rewards are POWERFUL.) None of that has to be malicious or consciously manipulative, it’s just how humans bond.

Again I want to emphasize- Feeling close is not a bad thing! Nor is falling in love! And even if you have been engaging in some of these actions, you aren’t responsible for your sub’s actions or emotions. These are normal things for hypnokinksters to do and normal risks for us to take. The question isn’t one of blame (for yourself or him)- it’s where you both want to go from here.

COOLING THINGS DOWN

Hopefully you will both talk together and come to a mutual decision/conclusion. Let's say that you and your your sub talk and you both decide to cool things off a bit. What might work?

- Coming to a true mutual decision about your goals and strategies for cooling things off. Open, non-judgemental, and ongoing communication about feelings here would be helpful. What does “cooling things off” look like? How will you know when it has happened? It’s ok to modify expectations as you go.

- Setting stronger boundaries. If y'all are playing all day every day, you might instead schedule a time to play once a week. You might limit unpredictable suggestions or times where you're texting during the day. You might table bigger relationship step conversations (collaring, moving in together, exclusivity, heavy brainwashing play) for a period of time to settle into the relationship and how you relate to each other after some of the initial intensity has passed. You may also table types of play for a time (for example, if themes of begging and worship are contributing to his strong feelings maybe you both want to back off those for a while pending further conversation).

-Developing trustworthiness in yourselves and each other- If you're worried about him having impaired consent because of love or hypnosis or kink or any combination of these things, talk about this specifically! Make sure you make a relationship where setting boundaries feels really good and comfortable- and where bringing up those conversations feels safe.. I know I try to be really verbally grateful when a partner sets a boundary or even gives critical feedback- it lets me know that they trust me and I can trust them to be taking care of themselves. You can even frame this as part of submission ("you're my property so you need to take care of what's mine") or your partnership/consent ("I worry when you keep changing boundaries because I would feel guilty if I hurt you/our relationship accidentally"). Trust usually increases bonding, but making fertile ground for boundaries can help you both have the conversations you need to make sure the relationship doesn’t feel like “too much”.

- Playing with other partners. Are you worried that your sub may be more in love with kink/ hypnosis itself than they are with you? Sometimes it takes time and experience for new kinksters to really distinguish for themselves if they’re having strong feelings for a person vs strong feelings for an activity. Encouraging his own introspection may help, but playing with other hypnotist partners can help him figure this out too. If you decide to take this step, y'all would want to do it within your own comfort zones and he would want to be careful about who he played with. Suggesting playing with others should never be a command- more of a helpful idea. There's unfortunately some ill-meaning hypnotists out there- so if he’s interested in playing with others, passing on information about finding safe partners and taking care of his subject agency might help him with branching out.

-Talking to other experienced subs. If your partner talks with other hypnosubs, he is likely to be able to find people who can relate to how he is feeling. Sometimes even hearing from someone else who has had similar experiences may be helpful. He could also potentially get tips on how other subjects manage strong emotions in their kink dynamics. Ditto for you talking to other dominants. This is a known issue within the community- many people have dealt with it and can offer empathy and ideas.

YOUR BOUNDARIES MATTER

I’ve been talking a lot in this response about his boundaries and your mutually agreed upon kink boundaries but- you get your own boundaries too! We sometimes skip talking about dominant/top boundaries in kink but- it’s very important that you are paying attention to your own comfort zone and needs. Boundaries help both of you continue to play in a way that feels fun/safe/enjoyable for everyone involved. This may sound harsh but- just because your sub is in love with you, that doesn't necessarily have to change what YOUR boundaries are (unless you want it to). Similarly, just because your sub is wanting to ignore his earlier boundaries, it doesn’t mean that you have to change your boundaries if that makes you uncomfortable. (In fact, I tend to be the brakes in a relationship more often when I'm topping than bottoming- and I think that's pretty common for a lot of switches.) For example, I'm really glad that you were clear and firm about not having his sister around on calls. If he’s doing things that are dangerous to himself in a way that pushes YOUR boundaries, it’s OK to say that and set conditions. (Ex. “I know you are really invested in our kink play, but if you drop out of school because of it, I won’t want to play with you any more.”)

If you’re worried about managing sudden boundary changes on his part, you can always give yourself pauses to think and decide what’s comfortable for you. For example, let’s say that he contacts you right before a scene and wants something that would push his previous boundaries. It would be OK in that case to say if you’re not comfortable with that- that you’d like to think about it and discuss it later. Or you may even say “no” outright if it's uncomfortable for you. You might even consider a new relationship rule- if he (or either of you) want to do something that pushes previously-held boundaries, you need to have a sober discussion about it first.

Lastly, if he’s pushing your boundaries and KEEPS pushing them after you try to talk, you might have to set stronger boundaries- up to and including breaking up with him. Being in love can explain his intensity, but if he can’t take a “no” then we’re moving into something really unhealthy. (I like this little worksheet about separating a healthy relationship vs an unhealthy one vs an abusive one- it’s not kink specific but has good information in general about what each of these relationships may look like- https://idas.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/Healthy-Relationships-Checklist-2.pdf )

I know this was a lot of information anon! I hope it helps! Please feel free to write me with follow up questions (and that goes for anyone reading). Also- I only know things here from my own experience and life philosophies- I hope other people will read this and add their perspective/knowledge! Between all of us, I hope you find the knowledge you're looking for!

Thank you to @linnybeenaughty , @ultinath ,@dancercoder , @spiralturquoise , and especially @daja-the-hypnokitten for the beta reads!; I appreciate your thoughts and help checking this for me! Any grammar mistakes or spelling mistakes or general wonkiness are my fault, not theirs.

Footnotes (for Nerds)

*I realize I’m leaning a lot on neurotransmitters here so- just to say, MANY activities release these neurotransmitters, not just hypnosis and love. Neurotransmitters are always swimming around in our head- they help our brain through its daily functioning. People especially sometimes talk as though things that trigger dopamine are innately addictive but- brains are much more complicated than that. I probably get a dopamine hit from brushing my teeth. It’s a piece of the puzzle here, not the whole thing.

**Side note- That being said, if you've never experienced intense hypnoamory, that's OK too! There's nothing wrong with you and it doesn't mean you don't care about partners. You just fall in love in a different way.

***Other/similar words and concepts it might be helpful to look up- limerence, nre (new relationship energy), puppy love. It isn't exactly "sub frenzy" but learning about that might be helpful too. :)

****Infatuation can make therapists really nervous sometimes because that’s when people do things like stop treatment, go off medications, relapse on drugs, make huge life decisions, etc. It can be hard to balance being infatuated and still working on yourself!

******Infatuation and being Infatuation-impaired is actually its' own subkink. A lot of pro work is out there on that theme. It's edge play and I'm assuming not what you're writing about, but I wanted to acknowledge down here that it exists.

#hypnoamory #big ole feelings #sub frenzy #the War and Peace of Tumblr answers #would love to hear everyone's thoughts!

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mrghostrat · 4 months

Text

some tips for writing flow

i've had a lot of comments complimenting my writing style, most of which don't know how to explain or describe what they like about it. i never really knew either, but i've been paying more attention to the way i write things lately, in the hope of being able to understand and explain it.

a lot of this is "based on feel" with no hard and fast rules, but there's also very tangible techniques you can hopefully work into your own writing, if that makes sense? idk is this anything—

1 - sentence beats, and alternating them.

this is probably the biggest thing in my writing. i've realised my sentences can be measured in beats, based on their length and how many sections they can be broken into. the pattern changes often, and i don't have a concrete rule in how i fill a paragraph (again, i've only just put words to any of this), but it's probably the most important part of my flow. let's have a look:

1 beat: • this is probably the biggest thing in my writing.

2 beats: • i've realised my sentences can be measured in beats • based on their length and how many sections they can be broken into.

3 beats: • the pattern changes often • and i don't have a concrete rule in how i fill a paragraph • but it's probably the most important part of my flow.

it looks like a favour certain patterns, the only real "rule" i use is to construct a paragraph with various beats, and never put two side by side. whenever i'm struggling with my flow, it's usually because i've put two of the same beats next to each other and everything feels either stiff or crowded. i rarely put two side by side, unless it's for specific emphasis.

the other exception are paragraph breaks: these are a pause for breath, and allow us to reset the pattern. i often start and end my paragraphs with single beat sentences, and it doesn't feel like they're running on because there's that lovely breath between them.

2 - short paragraphs

the rule we learn in school is that new paragraphs are for new ideas. convert this to prose, and we can consider "ideas" to include the character's thoughts, new narrative tangents, and physical movement around a scene.

one of my biggest struggles reading "bad" fanfic is when paragraphs are too lumped together. crowley will walk into the bookshop, see aziraphale across the way, wander over to a shelf, select a book, then pour himself a drink all in one big chunk. i can't parse that. there doesn't have to be a new line break for every new action, but grouping the relevant ones together and breaking in between broad motions (i.e. walking across a room, acknowledging a character) can help ease readers through the scene.

paragraphs are a breath, not only for sentence flow, but for processing the action within a story. similarly, purposefully keeping multiple actions confined to a single paragraph can make them feel quicker, while breaking them up into multiple paragraphs will slow down the pacing (even if the amount of detail describing each action is the same). included some examples because i'm struggling to explain this one

3 - mixing metaphors

this might sound less flow related, but i used to struggle with it a lot as a young writer, and paying more attention to it has definitely helped clean up my flow and writing overall.

i love a good analogy, but it can be easy to get carried away, and this can bog down the prose. my personal rule is that i can get silly with my metaphors (see: the mon chéri magnet), but i can only use one at a time. no talking about the magnet in aziraphale's chest and the angel and demon on his shoulder within the same scene.

if i'm getting silly and long winded with a metaphor, i also try to limit the length of it to one or two paragraphs. paragraph 1: set up the metaphor, establish the analogy. paragraph 2: come back to the reality of the scene, then mention the metaphor once more to link it all together. if i'm feeling cheeky, then i mention the metaphor again ONCE in passing, a couple of paragraphs or even chapters later

the magnet was a fun one, because i kind of flipped how i would usually present a metaphor, with the long winded tangent coming last instead of being the set up. and even though i used the metaphor 3 times, it felt like 2 because the set up was really just a planted seed for what i'd be mentioning later in the theatre. referencing the "whispered curse in the dark" also helped tie the scenes together and keep the analogies neat and tidy in our heads

meanwhile i got a little more carried away with the space metaphor in postcards (i feel like there's probably a 4th and maybe even 5th mention during the bookshop scene), but each one was blink-and-you'll-miss-it brief that didn't slog down the prose.

4 - avoiding repetitive pronouns

we're all going to struggle with this, and i don't have a secret hack for avoiding a wall of "he this, he that, he then," and i honestly try not to beat myself up over it too much. but there are two things i check to make sure it's not getting too repetitive:

1. looking within a paragraph

apparently everything revolves around paragraphs and the breath between them lmao. i don't have a strict rule like "use the character's name once per paragraph, then 'he' for the rest" or anything like that, but it's in that kind of vein. i simply pay attention to one paragraph at a time to watch for too much repetition, and if i notice it's been one or two whole blocks without switching from 'he' to a name, i'll chuck one in to break it up.

2. paragraph starters

this is so picky. and i don't know if it does ANYTHING, but it bugs me when i'm writing and i notice every paragraph starts the same way. maybe it has no effect on the flow at all. but i like to make sure my paragraphs aren't starting with the same "he" "he" "he", and that forces me to go back and switch around the pronouns in recent sentences, so the next paragraph can flow on more smoothly.

5 - use interruptions appropriately

edit: sneaking this one in here as a final thought! i just want to mention the use of em-dashes, semicolons, footnotes, and parenthesis mid-sentence. it's common to favour one in particular, but each have spectacular uses and can add miles to the pacing and flow of your prose.

em-dash (—) interruptions, cutting off dialogue— pausing to make a point — like this — in the middle of a sentence.

semicolon (;) helps with making lists and continuing a compound sentence that doesn't really link with 'and' or 'but'; when you want to pause, but a new sentence would break the flow of things.

footnotes (¹) these should be optional additions to the text imo. you should be able to keep reading without looking at the footnotes and not lose an ounce of story. they're additive, not necessary.

parenthesis ( () ) a great way to interrupt yourself (less sharply) than with em-dashes, include longer pieces of information (like what you might put in a footnote, except more crucial to the narrative that you don't want people to miss!) and adding sass (lol) and tone to your prose.

#*taps mic* IS THIS ANYTHING #includes some bnf teasers :)#note: ADDED A 5TH POINT AT THE END AT THE LAST MINUTE #writing tips #writing process #fan fic #fan fiction #fic #rat writes #good omens fic

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cheseely · 5 months

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Hi, I'm sure you get this often but I really love your recent genshin artwork, do you think you could explain your painting process? I love the colouring effect in that piece especially. Thank you.

Thank you so much! I got a few messages like this from my previous piece (thank you guys for the staff pick & blaze btw, I really didn't expect all the support😭) so I thought I'd share a bit of my process below as thanks.

I always do my lineart first because it feels less daunting to me when applying colours. I will do some rough colours first so I can easily adjust it to my liking.

Next, I make sure to separate each character into different layers when I clean it up. I like to work one character or object at a time, it's less overwhelming for me that way, and I can use clipping masks for ease of rendering.

I'll usually apply some adjustment layers on top of the base layer for shadows and highlights. When I say base layer, I just mean a layer of the colour without any effects.

I like using 'hard light' for shadows, and 'screen' for highlights, but you can really use whatever clicks with you.

Rinse & repeat this process for every character in the illustration. Note that I make Furina the focus so everything behind her will be less rendered than the elements in front of them (Neuvillette is a lot less rendered compared to Furina, and the painting in the back barely has much shading).

Once I render out each asset in the illustration and add shadows & highlights to my liking, I then to merge foreground/ midground/ background elements so I can make the overall illustration clearer to read. I don't want it to feel messy or overcrowded, and I think it's easy to get tunnel-visioned in small details and lose the clarity of the entire illustration.

Make sure to zoom out constantly and make your illustration B&W to check the values to see if the drawing is clear.

I created a simple S curve with the values for readability, and have the foreground elements have darker values & contrasts.

As for the BG, I wanted to add more textures into the drawing, particularly the painting in the back. Here's an image of it when I only added in the base colours.

I use the smudge tool to create more texture once I fill in the base colours. Since I don't really 'paint' anything with the textures in, I just put in the base colours and take a textured brush to smudge it. However, over-smudging can lose the painterly texture I want, so I usually smudge vertically or horizontally in a single stroke to create a sense of movement.

Another thing to note is that I only textured the BG, I thought it would help it blend into the background a bit better. I usually wouldn't do this for the foreground because I want those elements to be clearer.

At the very end, I tend to spend a fair bit of time just fiddling with more adjustment layers, various filters (such as blur, or noise), or liquify small details to really finalize the piece. Just vibes...basically this is me

Anyway, I hope that was helpful & it made sense!! Feel free to message me if you have any other questions & I'll try my best to answer! I might've glazed over a lot since I didn't wanna make this too long.

#anon #ask #tutorial #art tutorial #genshin impact

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commander-rahrah · 4 days

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I'm excited to read it too! I'm glad you find it interesting! Don't worry about your post because long! Your thoughts are so interesting!

I agree that Astarion would have to come to terms with Reader/Tav's boundaries too since it works both ways! I definitely feel that Astarion would be too lost in drinking from the blood of a sentient creature to notice the signs.

He would feel ashamed when he's aware of their fear yet they still chose to offer despite that might made him feel like he manipulated them like Cazador did to him 😭

What his excuses are if they try to offer in the early days makes sense! He would be too ashamed & terrified to have such a vulnerable conversation with them yet 😞

He would feel safe enough to bring up their fear after he confessed about everything. He would make it clear to them he doesn't want them to suffer by making them do something they don't want to like he did especially after how much they have helped him & how important they are to him 😭

He would respect their decision if they said it's too much for them. He would support everyone's personal choices & autonomies even though the concept is still new to him 😤

He would need an explanation if they insist on feeding him regardless of their fear. They would explain that not only do they trust him, they love him more than they fear it 🥹

He would only accept if they establish some ground rules 👍 like he did when it comes to physical intimacy & sex which is healthy for both of them!

I know it's unrelated but thank you for adding this because you described me pretty well 🤣 I would definitely react to even the smallest of cuts so Astarion quickly but gently sucking it & giving a small kiss on it would be a fantastic distraction 😳

You're welcome! Thank YOU for entertaining me & sharing your thoughts! I'm glad you enjoy putting Astarion and Tav/Reader in all these different scenarios too 🤍

Here's my idea that I would love to hear your opinion! Just to let you know this is quite self-indulgent XD How would Astarion react to GN! Reader/Tav actually had suspicions that he's using them but still chose to believe that he's not. So when he confessed he manipulated them, they're even not angry at him.

They're sad for how much & how long he has suffered to be the way he is now, but they're also genuinely hurt that he did take advantage of their trust in him. They don't blame him but they admit it still hurts and wants some time alone to process it.

After leaving them be, they would go to him when they're ready to talk to him. They would tell him how grateful they are that he chose to come clean with them despite knowing how it would be easier for him to keep quiet for it, and thanked him for trusting them enough to be honest with them.

What do you think of it? I'm curious :3

Hi Anon! Sorry for the super late response, I let this one stew for a little while in my brain and the other night I had this dialogue idea and couldn’t resist writing a little scene about it tonight! I hope you enjoy ❤️

I envisioned this scene happens half way through his confession, and then imagined the rest of the conversation about intimacy and boundaries would happen afterwards! It’s about 1100 words, and canonical Astarion backstory warnings apply — trauma, dark thoughts, etc.

.·:¨༺ ༻¨:·..·:¨༺ ༻¨:·..·:¨༺ ༻¨:·..·:¨༺ ༻¨:·..·:¨༺ ༻¨

“I just — I feel awful." Astarion’s throat worked silently, his eyes glancing down to his boots. "Look, I had a plan. A nice, simple plan — seduce you, sleep with you, manipulate your feelings so you’d never turn on me. It was easy — instinctive. Habits from two hundred years of charming people kicked in." He finally looked up at your face, studying intensely for your reaction.

“I—oh,” You pulled your hand away from him as uncertainty flooded your features. He saw your eyes dart back and forth, but they weren’t studying him. No, you were lost in thought. “Oh.”

Astarion licked his lips, his hands ringing together in front of him nervously. “You have every right to be angry.”

“I’m not angry. I thought we… I don’t know what I thought.”

The rest of what he had planned to say vanished out of his mind. Instead it started to betray him, a cruel voice whispering about how he knew you would react like this. Did he really think it would go well?

His pink mouth hung open as he scrambled for what to say, trying to think of how to make this better. But he’d done enough already, hadn’t he?

You crossed your arms over your body, your cheeks flushing deeply. “I feel a bit like a fool. None of it was real, the whole time?”

“Not the whole time,” He confessed as soft, vulnerable moments with you flashed in his mind. The very moments that made him start to drop the act. “It hasn’t been as of late, but before… in the beginning, up until recently, yes.”

His red eyes followed your throat as it bobbed up and down before flicking back up to your face. Your eyebrows were furrowed, your mouth a sad pout.

“Tell me what you’re thinking.” Astarion whispered, not daring to move forward.

“I’m thinking… I need a moment.” You admitted, already looking behind you and away from him.

His heart sank, but he nodded. “I— okay. Of course.”

And then you were off, your head down as you stalked away from the edge of the beach and back to the warm glow of camp.

He stood there stunned for a moment, before turning around to stare at the dark, choppy waters in front of him. Hundreds of scenarios began to dance in his mind — what if you went back to the camp to tell the others? Would he be met by pointed blades and blazing spells? He imagined being kicked out, staked, cursed, roasted alive with fireballs. Hand delivered to Cazador as extra punishment for his sins. Anything his twisted broken mind could come up with played like a messed up vision.

Astarion didn’t even try to stop the repetitive dark thoughts. It was what he deserved.

Eventually, the vampire slinked back into the camp some time later — once the sky was inky black and the moon was the only light to illuminate the way back to his tent.

“Hi.”

The sound caused his ears and shoulders to perk up instantly. You were sat in the grass and dirt outside of his tent, your arms wrapped around your knees and pulled to your chest.

“Hi.” Gods, he sounded breathless. But he couldn’t see any weapons or angry barbarians or wizards nearby. That was a good sign, right?

“I wasn’t sure when you’d come back.”

He cocked a brow, “I figured you wouldn’t want to see me again.”

A sigh escaped your lips, “Astarion, don’t be dramatic. I asked for time to think — not for you to leave.”

He blinked at your sharp tone, but nodded his head in slight defeat. “You’re right. And you waited for me because—?”

You brushed off your clothes as you stood up to his height, “I would like to finish that conversation, if you’re ready.”

Well, there was no denying the inevitable.

He nodded his head solemnly, stepping forward to open the flap of his tent and inviting you in with a wave of his hand.

The privacy his tent offered was slight, but this late in the night he knew most of his companions would be fast asleep. Quickly lighting a lantern, he joined you on the fabric floor.

His half-dead heart was thundering, the thrumming sound echoing in his pointed ears that he almost missed your quiet voice.

“I understand.”

“What?” His brows furrowed, looking at you with confusion.

“The stories you’ve told me… your scars… I understand why you did it, why you felt the need to do it.” You explained, your voice and eyes tender as you looked at him in the low light. “But you manipulated me, Astarion. You took advantage of me, toyed with me and my emotions to get what you needed. That hurts.”

Astarion’s stomach twisted into a hard knot, “I know.”

“But you also didn’t need to tell me any of this. You could have kept pretending, kept up the charade until we faced Cazador… But you didn’t. Why?”

Now it felt like his stomach was crawling up his torso and into his throat. Gods, what was this feeling? Why did you do this to him. “That’s what I was trying to tell you before. I failed with my plan. It felt apart the moment I realized… that I had fallen for you.” He admitted, but his fluttering heart made more words stumble out of his mouth. “And I know you probably don’t believe me, why would you after everything I just told you. Trust me, nobody feels more stupid about it than I do.”

You cut off his rambling, “I don’t think it’s stupid. I think that’s probably the most honest you’ve been with me since I’ve met you,” You said earnestly. “It would have been a lot easier for you to keep on pretending, wouldn’t it? Pretend I’m just another mark, another means to an end to get through the day.”

“I don’t want easy… I don’t want to just get through the day. Not anymore.” Astarion whispered across the small tent, staring intently at you.

You cocked your head slightly in question, “And what do you want?”

“I want this, I want us — to be real. You deserve something real.”

“So do you, Astarion. You deserve something real.”

Your name escaped his lips as a choked sob as overwhelming wave of emotion settled over him. “I don’t even know what real looks like. How do I give that to you if I—?”

“Do you trust me?”

The vampire nodded through his tears, “Yes.”

“I trust you,” You said softly.

“After everything I’ve done?” He croaked, waving his hands dramatically, “You’d trust a monster—“

You grabbed onto his extended fingers gently, squeezing them. “Yes, even then.”

He looked down at your hands touching, before intertwining his pale fingers with yours carefully. “Maybe you are a fool.”

You let out a breathless laugh, the sound waking up something in him he’d long thought dead. “Maybe, I am. But you fell for me, so what does that make you?”

Astarion’s mouth twitched up until it match your smile, “The luckiest vampire alive.”

#commander-rahrah answers #bg3 astarion #astarion ancunin #astarion fanfic #bg3 fanfic #Astarion X reader #astarion x gn reader #astarion x tav #astarion x gn!tav

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A Divine Devotee

It's finally here and I'm at 100 followers! It's still sinking in for me but I wanted to do something to celebrate. Given how loved "Far More Than Just A Mask" is, I decided that a part two to it would be great for my 100 follower fic. Getting it written, like all of my fics, was something of a process so I hope it's at least as good as the first part. Hope you all enjoy!

TW: Yandere themes, blood, descriptions of a violent ritual, gore, cannibalism (accidental, technically), nudity, Fierce goes absolutely mental and no one has a Good Time TM

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Learning to live with the Fierce Deity in the flesh was something you expected to be akin to a thorn in your side. He was, in a way, just that. Were he not tasked with something, he was beside you. Even if he wasn’t by your side for whatever reason, that didn’t mean he still wasn’t with you in some capacity.

That strange bond he forced created between the two of you was still present. With every passing day, it seemed to weaken but you doubted it would every go away. In the present, it was hard to send little more than a handful of words over the bond, so the two of you relied on emotion. You never really thought about what it would feel like to be emotionally connected to another person (much less a god) but what you got wasn’t something you expected.

Emotion did not radiate off of him in a way you could sense it. It wasn’t some visible aura around him nor did it replace your own. Rather, it was a feeling in you body. Your being would alight with a hot flash at his anger or your extremities would slowly turn numb and freeze at despair. Your lungs would stutter and your eyes would sting with his sadness and your heart and brain would flood with dopamine at his joy. Not matter how he felt, it was always extreme.

Yet, when you once asked him what your emotions felt like, he described it as trying to sense the presence of a mouse. Your emotions, quite simply, were but a whisper to him. Despite that, he claimed he always did his best to sense and feel them. You had no choice but to experience his emotions so he felt it only fair that he try to do the same.

It had confused you, at first, as to why it was like this. Why he was so extreme and you weren’t in the eyes of the bond. Although he may be “talkative” with you, he’s typically quiet and rather neutral around the rest of the boys. All it took was some few minutes of thinking when the answer quite literally appeared in his name.

Fierce Deity.

He is a god and you are a mortal. Gods, in comparison to mortals, live at an unreachable extreme. It would certainly explain why Fierce always had that air of intensity to him. It would also explain why you felt so minute in comparison to him. It made you worry about what the future may hold. Would he eventually grow tired of how little you were in relation to his divinity? Would his boredom lead to him simply leaving or acting upon his name towards you and the group to amuse himself? Pessimism was easy to reach your mind nowadays and you know (you hoped) that such thoughts could never come true, but your brain refused to shut up.

Large bulky arms secure themselves around you and startle you from your spiral. The smell of rancid iron assaults your nose and the seeping wetness of your clothes makes it clear that you’re going to say goodbye to yet another outfit. A weighty head rests itself upon you and the rumbling hum that sounds though the chest pressed against your back resonates through your nerves. As the arms strengthen their embrace even further, you find yourself being slowly lifted from the ground.

“What ails you, dearest?” Fierce inquires. He audibly huffs and puffs in the scent of your hair but such oddities have long since lost their weird factor on you.

“Nothing too important, Fie- uhm, honey. Just my brain not wanting cease its ramblings. What… about you?” You respond as you look down at the arms around you. He wasn’t drenched in blood but it was certainly splattered on him. Not in huge amounts (at least huge in comparison to the typical gore he seemed to wear), but enough to tell you that something- or someone- was now dead. For the sake of not developing a headache, you hoped it wasn’t the latter.

“I brought us food. Elk,” Fierce stated. Ah, that would explain the strange and distant cry you heard some thirty minutes ago. And, for the next thirty minutes, you’d be avoiding the bloody scene that would now be accompanying camp. The double helix sword Fierce wielded was great against monsters but too rough against prey. As such, he simply resorted to using little more than his hands when it came to ending them. You had seen the end product of this method only once and it was sight that you vowed to never look at again. The bent neck, torn skin, smashed head, and splinters of bone poking through the pelt… ugh, there goes your appetite.

As silence continues to permeate the atmosphere, the embrace around you eventually loosens. Fierce’s footsteps crunch and squish on the forest floor as he moves away from you. He stops once he’s fully in view and you can’t help but stare at his face. It would be wrong to say he was anything less than beautiful. His face- his true face- was so similar yet different to the mask made in his likeness. His tattoos, still red and blue and angular, were more weathered like warpaint. His hair, still silvery white and straight, had turned into billowing locks due to the passage of centuries. And his eyes- oh, those eyes- were still so intense. They didn’t glow white hot with rage and were no longer blank slates. Rather, a ring of steely gray and blue surrounded his pupils. The colors reminded you of both the swinging steel of battle and the common hue of blue that existed in the eyes of most of the boys. A small feature, you wonder, that may have been picked up from Time.

“If you choose to accompany me to go get cleaned up… then I assure you that there will be more to look at then,” Fierce offers with a slight lit in his voice. His lips are ever so slightly turned upward as are his brows. Perhaps not as poetic as Wars’ pick up lines, but still effective enough to get your heart pumping.

“Well, after you got me dirty, I have little choice but to join you,” You sigh and follow behind the man. He lets out little more than a small chuckle, one of triumph, but you don’t let it get to you. Had you declined his invitation, he’d no doubt be left in a cranky mood. And, whenever Fierce was feeling all around unpleasant, it would always lead to most unpleasant things.

As you walked behind the god, you vaguely noted how the forest started to thin out before stopping completely. Stretching out before you was a sizeable lake. It was hours away from Ordon, hence why you never saw it in game or never heard Twilight mention it, but it was a reminder that there was so much more to every Hyrule than a screen could ever show. The surface of the water was still and stained a variety of oranges and pinks with the setting sun. Even after basking in the spring sun for the entire day, the water would undoubtedly still be cold.

A clinking sound catches your attention and you look over at Fierce just in time to see his chestplate fall to the ground. By now, his hands are fiddling with the buckle of his belt and you advert your eyes away. This wasn’t the first time you’ve both seen Fierce naked or bathed with him, but there was still a layer of reserve you had towards him. You had accepted the fact that you were now his lover (not that you were going to be left with any other choice) but there were certain aspects of a romantic relationship that you weren’t ready for yet. Perhaps it was because you were scared of taking such a leap. Or, maybe, your feelings didn’t run deep for the god like his surely did for you. Whatever the case was, constantly adventuring, fighting, and dealing with the Shadow made it hard to try and sort out such complex thoughts and conflicting emotions. For now, you had little choice but to go with the flow.

Once Fierce had waded deep enough into the water to where only the start of his hips and the beginning tufts of his happy trail peaked above the water did you go about getting undressed. The deity was kind enough to keep his eyes trained elsewhere until you were in the water much like him. An involuntary grunt fell from your lips as you waded into the cold waters but the sooner you got washed off, the sooner you’d be out of the lake.

After a quick dip below the surface to fully wet your body, you were whisked into Fierce’s arms. He carefully placed his arms around your midsection as not to touch an private parts of your body. The warmth that radiated from him was welcome in the face of the biting temperatures of the lake. Without his armor or thick clothes to cover up his body, you had full view of picturesque divinity. It wasn’t superhero level of muscle nor veiny, but was certainly a warrior’s build. The expanses of his muscles were only heighted or barely hidden by a suitable layer of fat. The fat only added to his weight to make him more solid and even harder to push around as well as helped soften any blows that may befall him. Unsurprisingly, his body was littered with scars of battles and wars waged so long ago that the history books likely couldn’t recall them. His hands were wide and large as well as covered in callous. You felt envious of the ways he made certain flaws and imperfections look so desirable.

“You ought to work on ‘shutting up’ your brain more often, dear (Name). It’s no wonder you experience so many headaches,” Fierce hummed out as he began to card a hand through your hair. With a few kisses placed to the crown of your head, you were distracted enough from your thoughts yet again to focus on the now. You didn’t bring any soap with you, but you hadn’t been splattered with blood like Fierce was. For now, the water should be enough.

Fierce begins to ladle water across your shoulders before you can even cup your own hands. Once fully wet, the man goes about rubbing your skin both to wash off any blood or grime but to also soothe your muscles. Even with the rough skin that coated his palms and fingers, his touch and motions were gentle. The gesture was nice and a welcome feeling to the stiff knots littered throughout your neck and shoulders, but it was also strange.

Not strange in the fact that it came from your lover, but from a god. It was the mortal, no matter the nature of the relationship, that did acts of service for the divine. Brought them food, made sacrifices in their name, and lived, breathed, and died by their beliefs. They’d heed every order given to them no better than a well trained dog. There were, of course, exceptions to this standard.

And Fierce was quiet the exception.

He acted as if you were the sole reason he existed. He brought you food, gifted you things from trinkets to treasures, and even shouted out your name in battle as if it was waged for you. Even with your hesitance towards him at times, he never once faltered in the way he acted. Any positive sign from you, from a compliment to something like a kiss on the cheek, only seemed to embolden him further. You had to be scarce in affection with Fierce even if it may have seemed harmless at the time.

Gods are dangerous beings, after all. Their sorrow drowns lands and their anger scorches the earth til’ naught but ashes remain. Their envy chokes the life out of whatever it can bind itself around and even their happiness can lead to slaughter. But their love? That’s a whole other beast to deal with.

Whenever Fierce felt as if he hadn’t been given enough affection recently, he sought to gain it by doubling his efforts. Instead of picking the ripest grapes from the vine for you to snack on, he’d uproot the whole plant and drag it back to camp for you. Instead of gifting you a new tunic or bracelet, he’d dump entire wardrobes of clothing and accessories upon you (kindly cleaned of gore, naturally). Instead of handing you a few monster parts he picked up after battle as a little trophy, he’d make let you watch him harvest them. He’d force ask you to tell him which parts to tear away next. From ripping out teeth and twisting off horns to gutting them and pulling out their innards, he did it. Given a monster’s tendency to puff away into nothing more than smoke upon death, the beasts were always forced to stay alive.

Yet, after receiving love and affection, he could be even worse. Smothering to the point you weren’t allowed to do nearly anything without his “help”; walk, eat, change, or bathe. He’d be willing to bite at anything that came near the two of you during his moments of love, leaving you with little choice but to distance yourself from the rest of the group. In the moments where he was nothing short of lovesick, you were left with very few options as to calm him down. Some days you’d have to act indifferent towards him to get him to back up whereas others required you to just submit to the affections like a doll for him to hug and squeeze. If you didn’t manage to subdue him fast enough… bad things happened.

Like right now.

You had been whisked away from your bed in the middle of the night. Despite your pout and complaints, Fierce did little more than hum as he carried you out of the castle. The guards that were littered about the grounds hardly acknowledged the two of you (most certainly out of fear of what Fierce would do to them). The only familiar face you passed by was Impa, but the woman only spared you what you believe to be her attempt at a sympathetic gaze (no doubt Wars had filled her and Zelda in on the relationship between you and the deity).

As Fierce’s long legs carried you through Hyrule castle and out of the city’s protective walls, you could only fathom what awaited you. He was always one to make sure you had a proper amount of sleep each night, so this deviation in routine had your stomach twisting. As he began to venture into the woods, a little tune was hummed under his breath and his fingers idly tapped against your back. A harmless gesture any other day or situation, but it meant he was excited. No doubt to show you something and to explain his scarce presence over the past few days.

“You’ve always shared a lot of your culture with me. Food, celebrations, talk of your society and how it functions, and even what love is like in your world,” Fierce finally broke the silence of the forest (why are the woods quiet? Why can’t you see any fairies fluttering around?). “I thought, perhaps… I could do the same. It’s not much, but I still want you to enjoy a few things I did back when I was in my prime.”

With those partially cryptic words finally spoken, you were set down on your own two feet and spun around. In a small clearing of the forest now sat a little feast. Placed upon a round but sizeable table were multiple plates of decadent food. Some dishes were familiar to you such as a fragrant seafood stew prepped with lobster, crab, prawns, and fish. Strips of glazed and tender gourmet meat rested upon a suitable bowl of rice. There was also a charcuterie and meat board loaded with all sorts of treats. The sight was enough to get your stomach rumbling and you sat down in the smaller chair at the table. With the hot and fresh food before you (no doubt kept that way with the use of a little magic), your worries could wait for a moment.

“This is but a sliver of the food that use to grace the tables I ate at. While this little feast lacks many things, mainly ambrosia and entertainment, I do hope you enjoy it,” Fierce states as he watches you dig into whatever was closest to you. The food tasted just as amazing as it looked and smelled, so Fierce had to have gotten help from someone. Perhaps Wild or the cooks at Hyrule castle? Whoever it was, you were grateful to them.

As you enjoyed some of the gourmet meat and rice bowl, another plate was slid over to you. It appeared to be a standard plate of steak but the meat on the plate wasn’t beef. It looked similar to beef, but it sooner looked like a filet than a steak. Not to mention that the smell may have been meaty and savory, but not beef like. It was also generously covered in a thin, dark sauce and plated with a small pile of what you imagined was the Hyrule equivalent of home fries.

Curious to try the new dish, you moved it closer and brought your fork and knife to it. You did your best to slice against the grain and pulled away with a good bite of the meat. After a quick dip in the sauce it came with, you plopped it into your mouth and began to chew. It was soft and tender and had a similar mouth feel to regular steak, but the taste was far from that simple. It had the meaty heaviness that came with red meat but it’s taste was a bit closer to poultry. The tangy sauce helped cover up the subtle, bitter aftertaste of the food.

“What do you think? It’s the one dish I prepared myself,” Fierce commented as he watched you. He practically seemed to be on the edge of his seat and his eyes bore straight through you. His eagerness towards your commentary was strange given how innocent this little date night had been so far, so you decided to not question it too much as not to ruin the mood.

“It’s an interesting taste. It tastes good and the sauce is a good pair for the meat, but it’ll still take some getting used to,” You replied before taking another bite out of the meat. Since this was the plate Fierce had specially prepared himself, it would be nice of you to finish it.

“I also made a drink. It’s not as close to the mortal made ambrosia as I hoped it would be, but I hope you enjoy it,” Fierce pipes up yet again as he hands you a wine glass full of what looks similar to red wine. It’s darker in color, though, as well as more opaque. When you go to taste it, you also notice that it’s just a bit thicker than normal wine. While there is the taste of grapes and alcohol in it, there’s also a noticeable twang of raspberry and something else you can’t put your finger on. Much like the meat, there was subtle, bitter aftertaste. You offer Fierce a nod of approval and, for the moment, that’s that.

The midnight meal passes by rather peacefully. The forest is still all too quiet for your liking but at least you and Fierce keep each other company. When it eventually becomes too much to take so much as another bite out of any of the food, the deity also sets down his utensils along with you. As you sit and digest your food, Fierce goes about packing up the leftovers and storing them in his own enchanted pouch.

Instead of picking you back up and taking you back to the castle, Fierce beckons you to follow him closer into the forest. You comply, albeit a bit sluggishly due to a full belly and the early stages of fatigue. Wherever he’s taking you next mustn’t be far or else he would’ve picked you up.

The next spot he takes you to is dark and ill lit by moonlight. You can make out what appears to be a… tub? It’s clearly filled with liquid and had all kinds of petals scattered around it and in it. Underneath the earthy and floral scent of the scene, there’s another smell that you turn your nose from. With it being smothered by everything else, though, the most you can describe it as is a stale musk.

Gently, Fierce begins to pull away the pajamas covering your body. He keeps his actions slow and steady so you could make him stop at any time. You don’t as you understand he wasn’t going to do anything bad to you and, before long, your night clothes and underwear are neatly put to the side. Fierce helps you into the tub and let’s your body slowly sink into the liquid. There’s a noticeable thickness to the liquid- like a thinned out syrup. Aside from that and the smell, it was only luke warm. Were there more moonlight or just any light in general, you’d be able to properly see the color of the liquid.

Fierce kneels down by your side and begins to rub the liquid into the parts of your body that aren’t submerged. He says little aside from a few orders to move one way or the other. Whatever elixir it is that you’re bathing in is also added into your hair and generously applied to your face. Your best guess is that this was some sort of soak that Fierce must have done to himself way back when. Whether it was going to be beneficial for you or not would be something you could get figured out later.

“I imagine you’re curious about all of this,” Fierce murmurs out as he continues to “wash” your hair. “The meal, this bath, and what more I may have planned…”

“Well, yes… that’s been in the back of my mind the entire time,” You confirm after a moment of hesitance. That telltale churning in your gut was starting to act up but you did your best to hide it. You weren’t the only one nervous, though, as Fierce also seemed to be getting anxious as well. It buzzed through the bond like a bee’s nest. Nervousness was a rather rare emotion for the deity and it made your blood run cold at whatever he may be planning.

“Remember… how I promised that my love for you is eternal? Well, it is but… you’re not,” Fierce sighs and the bond is flooded with sadness that threatens to make you sob until the sun rises. Thankfully, it doesn’t last for much longer as Fierce seems to focus his train of thought elsewhere.

“Y-Yeah?” You cough out after a bit. Fierce remains still and silent for a few moments despite your stare. Slowly, his eyes meet yours and the intensity that stirs within them could have been enough to kill.

“I think I’ve figured out a solution to that.”

What?

What did he mean by that? Was… was he planning on turning you into a god? Or, at the very least, immortal? There’s little else his comment could be interpreted as. But how would such a thing even be possible? As far as you can recall, you’ve stumbled across nothing in Hyrule or its history that hints at mortals being able to ascend to divinity.

“Fierce, how… is that even… I-”

“You need not stress, dearest. The process has already begun and you’re fairing quite fine so far,” Fierce smiles.

What?!

You nearly leap out of the tub and scramble across the ground. Your wild dreams of escape are shattered as Fierce quickly wrangles you into his hold and attempts to calm you down. He even tries to send calming and relaxing sensations across the bond but it does little to soothe your frantic mind. Not only that, but you managed to get to a point in the forest where there was more moonlight. The pale light illuminated your bare skin and it only showed red. Red, red, red, red, red.

It’s blood. You had been soaking in blood.

By some miracle, you managed to not upheave tonight’s meal. That didn’t stop you from kicking and screaming to get away from Fierce. Unlike times before when he had crossed a line, Fierce showed no sign of backing off. He kept you pinned to the ground and simply took any blow you sent his way head on. It was simply a matter of letting you tire yourself out.

“Shh… it’s okay, you’ll be fine, (Name),” Fierce hushed as he pressed the side of your head against his chest. His heart beat was slow and steady like a bass drum. It contrasted the never ceasing allegro of your own heart and you worried that, at this rate, you’d end up fainting.

After quickly adjusting his embrace around you, Fierce lifts you up and carries your body to the next destination of this “date night”. Your kicks had lost their wind and had become little more than wiping your foot against him. You try to look at anything but the red ick still clinging to you or Fierce. Vaguely, standing just above the tree line and nearing the horizon lines, were the tallest towers on Hyrule Castle. It was so far away that you couldn’t really see the flags mounted on their peaks flapping in the breeze nor would anyone there be capable of hearing the loudest scream you could make (would anyone even come to your rescue if they heard you? Who in their right minds would think to try and fight against a god?)

Something cold and hard presses against your back. Your view shifts as Fierce lays you down on stone and quickly goes about securing your arms and legs. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that he’s laid you flat on an altar. What ritual he had planned was for him to know and for you to cruelly find out.

“I’ve never wanted to hurt you before and I still don’t. I will never feel the urge to harm you but… I have to do this. If I don’t, then you’ll become victim to your mortality and I’ll be left alone. I can’t exist without you anymore, (Name)... I can’t,” Fierce whines and that sadness from earlier crashes over you again. Your thoughts turn to the darkest possibilities given your current state, but things are made abundantly clear when a hidden dagger is pulled from beneath the god’s linens.

You’ve never seen a dagger that looked so ritualistic before. It’s blade was carved and sharpened from the tooth of a beast and runes or words of a language you couldn’t read were etched into the blade. Its handle was made from stained and wrapped leather that had a few brilliant feathers bound in it. For the first time since properly meeting him, you could see Fierce’s hand shake as he poised the blade.

“I think… you’re ready. You’ve been strengthened enough to take my blood tonight. You’ve drank, ate, and bathed in my essence. Now, it is time for it to enter your veins- raw and unfiltered,” Fierce muttered. With care and precision, the blade was brought to your skin. Enough pressure was applied so that it began to cut through the layers of your skin. He stopped just shy of your sternum and began to pull the blade down the length of your torso. It was a slow and agonizing pain you couldn’t describe so you only screamed. You screamed and screamed and screamed. You fought against the bindings that held you but it was to no avail.

The blade finally stopped just past your pectorals before pulling away. Fierce laid the blade against his hand and sliced in deep. A small sputter of blood spattered out as a result and it feels like fire when it makes contact to your open wound. The pain is only amplified tenfold when Fierce presses his cut palm down on the slash of your chest. Your voice raises to an octave you didn’t know was possible as what feels akin to liquid fire begins to spread through your chest. This is only worsened by the icy sting of sadness and despair as Fierce struggles to keep a lid on his own emotions. You can see his lips moving and know he’s mumbling something but you can’t tell if it’s some kind of mantra to complete the ritual or a shoddy attempt at keeping himself calm.

As his blood spreads out further and further, you find that the world is becoming more and more incoherent. Black spots smudge your vision and static feels your ears. Fierce’s face, contorted into so much pain and anguish, is the last thing you see before passing out.

Your mind feels as though it’s drifting around on the inky waters of unconsciousness. Even though this feeling is unknown to you and you don’t know what awaits you when- if you wake up, you feel peaceful. There is no pain to feel and no sights to disturb you. All you sense is your body drifting along and the occasional noise. The noise is that of someone speaking or shouting or crying- you can’t tell. It’s so distant and sounds as if it’s underwater. It’s like a siren call that plays on your curiosity and empathy to open your eyes. To wake up and investigate or comfort whoever it is that’s calling for you.

“...p… wa… up…”

Perhaps you weren’t unconscious. Maybe you were dead? It’s possible given the… trauma? That you just went through? (What happened? The pain the pain the pain the pain the pain the pain It’s all gotten so blurry? Golden Three preserve me save me)

“Ple…. wake… please, (Na… up…”

Were you now drifting down the River Styx? Maybe, maybe not. It had always been portrayed as hellish and depressing, but you felt so peaceful. Maybe Hyrule just had a nicer one that home did.

“Golden Three, please… pray that they… return them to… give me back my…”

Hmm… the waters were beginning to feel a little choppy. Were you finally arriving at your destination? Whatever that meant…

“(Name), please! COME BACK TO ME!”

Your eyes snapped open as breath returned to your lungs. You were stuck staring straight up at the inky abyss above you. Somehow, the night sky was now bespeckled with glittering stars and you could better make out the twisting and mixing nebulas of color.

Your head lolled to the side and you saw that Fierce had devolved into the dictionary definition of a mess. Tears streamed down his cheeks and smears of red were all over him. His hair was bunched up and knotted- no doubt from him pulling and tearing at his own hair. Heavy and harsh breaths racked his frame as he was nearly hunched over your body. His stillness was enough to convince you he had turned to stone until his entire body seemed to go lax. He toppled over and landed across your bare skin but neither you nor he cared much about that at the moment.

“You came back… you came back…” He gargled out. His voice, once deep and smooth, was now crackly. He buried his face against your body to hide his expressions from you as he clung to you like a child to their blankie.

“What… happened?” You finally croaked out as you took in your surroundings. Everything was so… sharp. In focus. You could make out the the individual veins on the leaves of nearby trees. You could see dew beginning to form on grass a distance away from where you were laying. Fluttering high above the trees, you could also see the flying and swooping forms of bats. Its like you were looking at everything through the lens of a telescope.

A metallic rattle then click alerts you to the shackles (when did those get there?) on your wrists. Fierce had managed to get up and was working on getting you freed from them. Once unbound, he wasted no time in scooping you up and hurrying through the forest. You gripped onto him as tightly as you could before you felt him come to an abrupt stop. Icy cold water was splashed over your body and Fierce used his shirt to wipe you off. The shirt was quickly stained red and you hadn’t realized you were positively coated in dried blood.

As your skin was cleared of the red ichor, you realized that your chest looked rather weird. The skin was scarred but the scar itself was strange. It was a thin but long and straight line down your chest. It wasn’t your skin’s natural color, but silver like it was made of metal. Feeling it confirmed that it was still your skin and nothing else.

You turn your head upwards to ask Fierce a question but not even a word gets the chance to fall from your lips as Fierce kisses you desperately. Romance and love aren’t the present emotions to be felt in the kiss- it’s despair and relief all wrapped up in an overwhelming amount of guilt. The kiss lasts long enough that you eventually have to claw at Fierce’s chest to push him away. Sweet air flies back into your lungs and you’re left huffing and puffing yet again.

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry,” Fierce whispers as he hangs his head low. You knew he was apologizing for more than just the rather crude kiss, but your brain was in a fog. You still couldn’t place what had happened for him to be so distraught.

“I remember… eating? Yeah, we were eating in the forest and then you took me somewhere. I was soaking in… in something but after that… everything’s a blur…” You mumbled out and massaged a sudden ache in your temples. Trying to remember what happened, even if it was only a small detail, made your head pound.

“I…” Fierce starts to speak but stops himself. Amongst the whirlpool of emotions in his eyes and bubbling behind the currently closed doors of the bond, you could see that Fierce was thinking. He was thinking about how to phrase his next words carefully. It was odd behavior coming from him given that he preferred to be bluntly honest. “It… doesn’t matter anymore. Things spiraled out of control for a moment but… but everything is okay now. I promise.”

It didn’t exactly feel like a lie (It is it is it is run run run run no longer trust him, don’t love him, stop listening to him, stop) but it wasn’t the truth. Whatever happened had scared Fierce- a man you once thought incapable of feeling fear. Because of that reason alone, you took his word.

“Let’s get back to the castle before the boys or the princess start to wake up,” You state as you try to take control of the situation. It works as Fierce nods and stands up. He lets you stand on your own two feet while he runs off to go get something. After a minute, he returns with your night clothes in hand. He doesn’t speak up or do anything as you get dressed. Once it’s time to start heading back, he doesn’t pick you up but rather walks alongside you, hand in hand.

The small yet noticeable deviations in Fierce’s habits made it clear he was still in some state of shock. You didn’t know what to do to snap him out of it or if you should just let it run its course. You decide on simply intertwining your fingers with his and giving his hand a gentle squeeze to let him know that you’re here and you’re okay (no no no no no no no don’t do that, don’t encourage him, it makes things worse, so so so so much worse).

“(Na… (Name)?” Fierce whispers out. His tone makes him sound like a distraught child wanting to call out to their parent or older sibling. It’s fear and hurt ready to break past the dam that’s barely holding it in.

“Yes, honey?” You hum and give him a small smile.

“You’re… here, right?” Fierce asks. The snarky part of you wants to scoff at the question but you understand that now’s not the time for that.

“Yes. I’m right here,” You confirm and squeeze his hand again.

“You… won’t… ever leave me, will you? I don’t want to be alone again,” Fierce mumbles. Your heart clenches (no, don’t, don’t feel sympathy for the monster) as it’s clear Fierce is thinking back to the time he was trapped in the mask. No doubt being left along for decades, if not centuries, between wielders left him with a fear of abandonment. God of war he may be, it didn’t mean he wasn’t (a monster, a torturer, a villain) without feeling.

“I won’t leave you. I won’t leave you or the boys. You’ve all been through so much and deserve some kindness after all of the cruelty,” You claim, your voice stern and firm much like the statement itself.

“You… love me? You love me, right?” Fierce finally asks the question that had been brewing in his chest. His eyes, ever the window to his soul, showed all. The searching, the yearning, the despair, the anguish, the fear, the worry, the sadness, the hopefulness, the happiness, and the love (the insanity, the madness, the darkness).

“Fierce, I… yes… yes, I do love you,” You admit. It was true (no it wasn’t). Perhaps it was because he never gave up on you despite how conflicted you felt. He waited and was there for you every step of the way without even having to ask. It may have been intense, it may have a bumpy ride, but you were here now. Here with your hand in his and with a clear mind (it’s all so warped and foggy, he won’t let me think straight).

“Will you love me for eternity?” Fierce inquires. His tone is a bit lighter now, as are his eyes. It’s as if the increasing weight of the world was finally lifted off his shoulders. He was still patiently waiting for your answer.

“Hmm…”

Don’t say it…

“Eternity is a long time, honey…”

Eternity is forever, I’ll be trapped with him forever…

“But…”

No, please…

“Yes, Fierce…”

No… no…

“I will love you for eternity.”

#yandere linked universe #yandere linked universe x reader #yandere lu #yandere lu x reader #yandere lu fierce deity #yandere lu fierce deity x reader

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zoeykallus · 8 months

Note

Hi there! If it's not too much to ask, would you write about Tech and a shy female reader? I had this scenario in my head, with Tech and femreader getting into an argument, but they end up having sex. But not the angry intense kind of sex, not like they jump from heated anger to smut. I mean it can be very erotic and detailed, but with them being soft and sensual with each other? Does this make sense? I would so love to read something like this 😍 Thank you!

Aloha! 😊

Well, I think I got something in my mind for this one. Just hope I got that right 😅

Tech x Fem!Reader One-Shot - Close And Real

Warnings: Angst/Sexual Content/Strongly Suggestive/PiV/Soft Tech/Shy Reader/ Fluff/18+

_______________

Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

_______________

>Master List<

You sigh in annoyance. Tech has given you a task, and you're so nervous about doing everything wrong that that's exactly what happens. He and his brothers have taken you in, travel around with you, without the guys you wouldn't know where to go. So you want to make yourself useful and have offered your help, especially with Tech you want to make a good impression, but now everything goes wrong. To make matters worse, Tech just comes by to see what you're doing. He blinks several times and looks at the machine he taught you in detail to take apart, clean and put back together. Your fingers are shaking with nervousness, so you clasp them to a machine part, so he won't see the shaking. His expression is puzzled, then critical. Finally, "That looks worse than before," he says frankly, "How can that be?" You open your mouth, but your voice gets stuck in your throat, it takes a long, very awkward moment before you can use it again. "I um, I'm sorry," you bring to your lips miserably. "If you're not going to help, just say so, that one looks like you're trying to sabotage us," he says angrily and starts to take care of it himself, pushing you aside. The color drains from your face.

"I really want to help." "It doesn't look like it," Tech says tersely, continuing to work on the machine you should have finished by now. Somewhat frustrated, you sigh, "I'm just nervous, I make mistakes when I'm nervous." "Your mistakes are obvious," Tech says matter-of-factly, "The reason you're nervous is not" You step from one foot to the other, unsure how to explain this to him. "I'm nervous because of you" you finally blurt out "I wanted to do everything right, to impress you, that's what made me so nervous, then things went wrong, and I got even more nervous and then more things went wrong and- " You interrupt yourself as you see his raised brows, nervously kneading your hands and avoiding his gaze. "I make you nervous?" he asks, puzzled. You take a deep breath and say quietly, "Yes. I want to make a good impression with you, but you're so stern and overly factual sometimes that I feel like I have to be perfect to get through to you." Tech slowly puts down the machine parts he was working with and sighs softly.

"You make me nervous, too," he finally admits. You lift your eyes and look at him in surprise. Tech clears his throat and shyly explains in a low voice, "That's why I'm often stern, matter-of-fact, and distant.... well, the matter-of-fact is basically in my nature. This nervousness unsettles me, and in this way I try to keep you at a distance, although that's not really what I want." You blink several times, trying to process his words, to put them together in your head and understand their meaning. "You like me," you say softly, a small smile appearing on your lips. Tech balks, pauses for a moment, and says, "Well, I thought that was obvious by now." You shake your head with a soft laugh and reply, "No, Tech, it wasn't until just now" He sighs softly, a shy smile on his lips. "I understand." With a gentle wave of his hand, he beckons you to join him. "Come here, I'll show you again, bit by bit".

You step closer to him and the machine, heart pounding, breathing deeply. You yourself have no real, rational explanation for what Tech triggers in you. The pounding heart, the racing pulse, the tingling in your stomach, the nervous smile you just can't stop. As you try to copy his hand movements on the machine he shows you and your fingers begin to tremble again, he gently places his hand over yours. The touch sends a tender shiver down your spine. "Deep breaths," he says calmly, guiding your hand with his, "Loosen up, don't tense up." His voice tickles through your nerves. "Okay," you say softly, trying to implement what he's said. But Tech is so close, your pulse so wild. "That's it," he says with satisfaction as the handle clicks, and he turns his face to yours. You look up at him and all of a sudden, he leans down to you and his lips briefly touch yours, just very gently, implied, like a question, a request, not a demand.

Your heart races. You reach out to him, braver than you actually are, returning the touch, inviting, almost demanding. As Tech responds, his hand releasing yours and reaching for your hip to pull you closer, his tongue accepting the invitation of your parted lips, fireworks explode inside you. It tingles everywhere, you feel warm, a little dizzy too. When you start to wobble on your soft knees a little, his second hand also grabs your hip, turns you and pushes you gently but firmly onto the tabletop of the workbench. Quite automatically, though shakily, your thighs open and let his pelvis between them, so close that you feel his codpiece through the fabric of your pants. Your lips separate for a moment, and you're both a little out of breath. "Honestly," he admits, "I wasn't really expecting this." Your voice is barely more than a whisper, very soft, so soft he almost can't hear you. "I want you, Tech" He blinks several times, hastily adjusts his goggles with one finger and asks, "Really? Here? Now?"

You nod, your heart still hammering violently in your chest. Yes, you want him, here and now. You can see him thinking for a moment, considering, glancing over his shoulder. Tech isn't sure if you'll really be undisturbed here. "Are you sure this is the right place for our first meeting?" "I thought you liked the engine room," you say shyly, letting your fingertips graze along his jaw and chin. His hands grip your thighs a little tighter for a moment; there's an undeniable sexual tension beneath his surface. But he notices it immediately and loosens his grip. "Indeed, a secret little imagination on my part to become intimate with you here, accordingly a certain tension has just built up at the prospect of its fulfillment" You feel heat move to your cheeks at the thought of Tech having fantasies of this nature about you. "I've imagined it, too," you admit, biting your lower lip a moment later. A sound comes from his throat, something like a groan, a growl at the same time and yet half-choked as if he's trying to suppress it at the last moment. He clears his throat and says, "Really?"

At the moment his mind is not working as usual, all he can think about is your closeness, your body heat, the taste of your lips and the insistent pulse behind his ever tightening codpiece. Quite automatically, one of his hands wandered between you, loosening the armor piece between his legs. Your gaze wanders downward, following his movement, and the bulge in his Blacks that comes to light is impossible to miss. The codpiece slips from his fingers and falls to the metal floor with a clang, snapping you out of your stupor for the moment. You look up at the same moment Tech leans toward you again, pressing closer, and you feel his hard length through the fabric of your clothing. His lips find yours again, his tongue slipping deftly between them, chasing yours, each velvety collision a little firework. One of his hands goes wandering, tentatively at first, over your clothing, but his deft fingers find their way into your panties and elicit a gasp from you that he smothers with another kiss. Tech is so skilled, seems to know exactly what to do, his fingertips play with your clit, almost perfectly, your panties are wet in seconds. You moan into the kiss.

Intoxicated by your closeness, warmth, your reactions to his touch, Tech begins to undress you little by little until you are sitting naked in front of him on the workbench. His heart races, as does yours. He kisses your mouth your neck, your shoulders as his hand moves between you again, to the heated triangle between your thighs and his fingertips find your clit again. Your arousal drips onto the workbench you are sitting on. You are so aroused but also so curious. Carefully, your hands grab the fabric of his blacks, pulling them down a bit to free his cock. He pauses very briefly in his movement, but immediately resumes massaging your pearl. As your hand grips him, however, he pauses again. His fingers slide a little deeper, find your wet opening, and very gently he slides first one, then a second of his fingers between your slick walls. Automatically, you grip a little tighter, which makes him hold his breath for a second. His lips very close to yours, he says with a half smile, "Careful now, don't tense up". Your thighs are already trembling and basically Tech could do anything he wanted with you, you would happily let him. But he's gentle, careful, doesn't want to overwhelm you.

Much braver than you feel, you gently pump his hard length and breathlessly say, "I want that one." He gently moves his fingers inside you and asks, "About right here?" A shaky breath, a soft moan before you manage to nod and say, "That's right" "Then you shall have it" Tech gently withdraws his fingers from you with a soft, suggestive smacking sound through the wetness of your pussy. Shortly after, he brings his tip to your moist heat, parting your folds with gentle pressure and penetrating you very slowly, tenderly, almost languidly. Your arms and legs tremble ever so slightly. Tech is quite well-endowed, you feel the stretching clearly. But he takes his time, gives you time, you feel no pain, only an initially unfamiliar feeling. But the heat comes back, a few seconds after he has fully sunk into you. His whole body is tense. Every muscle in his slender body, hard as stone. You hear him breathing heavily but evenly, his arms wrapped around you as he stands in front of the workbench between your thighs.

"That feels far better than any fantasy," you hear him say very softly, almost in a whisper, as if he's talking more to himself than to you. But then, a little more clearly, he asks, "Are you okay?" Your arms cling to his back, one hand automatically wandering to his Blacks, slipping under the fabric and grabbing one of his buns. Which elicits another mix of groans and growls from him. "Can... can I move?" You breathe to him, "Yes, please." As he begins to move, you understand the concept of merging all at once. He is as close as anyone has ever been, Tech's not only physically inside you. His voice, every breath is under your skin, in your tingling stomach, in your pulse, your thoughts.

@rintheemolion

@andyoufollowyourheart @clone-whore-99

@brynhildrmimi @kaliel2310

@misogirl828 @tech-deck

@meshla-madalene

@chxpsi

@thebahdbitch

@nahoney22 @ladykatakuri

@darkangel4121

@ttzamara

@arctrooper69

@padawancat97

@agenteliix

@allsystemsblue

@palliateclaw

@either-madness-or-brilliance

@ortizshinkaroff

@andy-solo1

@hunterssecretrecipe

@heyitsaloy

@greaser-wolf

@extrahotpixels

@hated-by-me

@hunterxcrosshair

@malicemercy

@bebopsworld

@echos-girlfriend

@cpnt616

@dangraccoon

@jediknightjana

@pb-jellybeans

@antishadow2021

@sleepycreativewriter

@projectdreamwalker

@1vlouds

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shina913 · 7 months

Text

Nothing | JHS

Pairing: Hoseok x Fem!Reader

Rating: PG-15; SFW

Genre: Established relationship; domestic AU; angst; fluff

Warnings: Some cussing; OC has a massive mood swing; arguing/bickering; Hobi makes a savage comment

Word count: 1.2k words

Summary: You and Hobi try to make dinner until you start bickering.

A/N: I miss Hobi 🥰 Thank you @midnightagust for your eyes!

"No, they're not doing it like that in the video. We should score the skin like he does here," you say, holding the kitchen knife at an angle just above the pork.

Hoseok disagrees. "Just poking the fork through the skin is enough. It pushes out the fat but keeps the meat juicy. If you slice through the skin, it might get dry."

You're debating how to prepare a slab of pork belly. You came across a video about it by chance and were excited to try out the recipe. Making it at home has always been something you wanted to do, and the video made it seem simple enough.

What you didn't expect was Hoseok questioning a crucial method, despite never having made the dish himself.

You shake your head, wanting to stick to the original poster's method. "Yeah, but this dude uses the same oven as us. If we just poke the skin, the fat won't render quickly and it'll take forever for it to get crispy. At that rate, we might as well have it for breakfast!"

You prepare to sink your knife into the skin but stop when he makes another remark.

“Well, that’s how my mom does it and it always comes out great.”

You love his mom and she loves you, but in that particular moment, something about his comment irked you. It made you question your cooking skills.

“Then maybe you should just ask your mom to make it for you tonight,” you snap, feeling a mix of frustration and insecurity. You throw the knife into the sink, hoping to release some of the built-up tension. The clanging sound of metal on metal rings through the room and Hoseok’s brows furrow in confusion.

“Are you okay? Did I say something wrong?”

You scrub your hands over the sink—a little too aggressively—to get the remnants of raw meat off them. “I’m fine!”

“All I’m trying to say is that we shouldn’t ruin the meat.”

“Right! Because that’s clearly my goal, to ruin the meat!” You wipe your hands on a dish towel just as violently and toss it onto the counter.

His mouth falls open at your actions. You rarely fight, but when you do, he’s not one to go full-out, guns blazing. Oh no... He goes for the sneak attack.

Subtly, he shifts his weight, jutting his hip out giving the outward impression that he’s still relaxed. Then, he drops the bomb. “I didn’t realize we were having your attitude for dinner, too.”

You suck in a sharp breath. You’ve been together for years and know which buttons to avoid and which ones to push—hard.

The tension in the room reaches its peak as you bicker and argue back and forth. Your voices escalate, overlapping with each other's as you try to make your points heard. The frustration is palpable, and you can sense the anger bubbling up within you.

You wave your hands in mid-air. "Okay, I’m done! I don't want to talk about this anymore!" You can feel yourself getting angrier and you don't want to say anything you would regret in the heat of the moment.

He bites down on his lips, realizing that he’d been acting like a dick throughout the whole process. His voice softens and he attempts to explain. "Babe, I didn’t mean to piss you off with my mom-comment. I just thought–"

"Nope!” You interject as you’ve had enough. “I said I’m done with this conversation now," you declare and march toward the bedroom.

As your words hang in the air, he feels the weight of his actions and wants to make amends. "Baby, wait. Please, can we work this out? I'm sorry," his voice now filled with regret as he chases after you down the hallway.

“Can we please hug it out so I know that we’re okay?” He asks while you both stand at the door’s threshold. Hoseok knows that touch is your love language. But in your current state of mind, the idea of him holding you feels repulsive.

"No! I need space," you recoil before shutting the door in his face.

He closes his eyes tightly, realizing that trying to reason with you at this moment is pointless. He walks back to the kitchen to clean up and then collapses onto the couch. Sinking his head into the cushions, he lets out a deep sigh.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, taking deep breaths to calm down your racing heartbeat, you groan and shed tears out of frustration... maybe even from overreaction or PMS. You know the anger will fade away, giving you the chance to have a decent conversation with him. But for now, you need some time alone to gather your thoughts.

******

You didn't realize it, but you cried yourself sleep. When you wake up, it's still dark outside. You look at your phone to check the time, and then turn to see Hoseok sleeping on the bed, curled up facing you.

Seeing him resting on top of the sheets and keeping a safe distance from you shows that he still respected your boundaries. It tugs at your heartstrings.

Your face softens, and your finger brushes his cheek. He stirs at your touch and rubs his eyes, gradually waking up. Realizing that he had been asleep on the bed longer than intended, panic immediately sets in.

"Shit, I'm sorry! I know you wanted some space...I set an alarm…” he babbles. “Sorry, I’ll get out."

"No,” you stop him and offer a warm smile. “It's okay."

He really tried to sleep on the couch, but the guilt from your argument kept him tossing and turning. He crept into the room, hoping to settle things with you, but realizing that you were already asleep, he eventually fell asleep himself.

You give a little nod and seeing him in this state, you decide to make things right.

“I apolo—”

“I’m sorry—”

It appears that he had the same thing in mind. He nods and yields to you.

"I’m sorry for snapping at you earlier."

Hoseok visibly relaxes and sits up. "And I'm sorry for saying stupid things to you. I’m sorry for hurting your feelings.”

"I got too caught up, too. I think it was a combination of being hungry and tired,” you grimace. “Not that those are valid excuses.”

"Yeah, me too," he chuckles. “I’m sorry I was acting like a know-it-all earlier. And I didn’t mean to compare you to my mom. I love your cooking.”

“Thank you, I appreciate that.” You smile and gaze at him affectionately. After settling blowups like this, you find yourself craving his touch.

"Do you think I can still get that hug?" You ask meekly.

His lips curl into that slow, irresistible smile that you adore so much. "Always."

You climb onto him slowly, placing one leg on each side, and then fall into his waiting arms. You nuzzle into his neck, feeling him kiss your hair in return. You sigh against his skin, relieved to put this argument behind you.

"I'm sorry for being a moody bitch when I’m hungry."

He chuckles and tightens his arms even more. “If I get koala hugs like this in return, I’ll make sure you’re fed all the time."

"I am kinda hungry, though," you say, realizing that you both skipped dinner.

He throws his head back in laughter. "It's 3:30 AM and all the takeout places are closed. The only options are Oreos or instant ramyeon."

Even though both of those options sound good, you remember the dish you were planning to make before your argument escalated. You move away from him and say, "I can still cook the pork belly.”

"Are you sure? It could take forever," he asks.

"It's not like we have anywhere to be tomorrow," you shrug.

He cups your cheek in his hand and kisses you softly. "Okay. I'll make the rice."

Nothing Masterlist | Main Fic Masterlist

You’ve reached the end! Thank you so much for reading!

If you loved it, please comment, reblog, or send me feedback! 📩. I love hearing from readers! If you didn’t like it so much, I would still like to hear about it. Help me become a better writer! 💜

Tagging: @roaminginthenights @yoongukie-ff

#hoseok fanfic #hoseok x reader #hobi x reader #hoseok x you #hoseok fluff #hoseok fanfiction #jung hoseok #bts fluff #bts hoseok #jhope fluff #nothing x jhs #bts fanfiction

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inmyfxith · 1 year

Text

How they would react if… They realize they are in love with you

Including -> Neteyam, Lo'ak, Kiri, Neytiri, Jake, Tsireya and Tonowari

If Neteyam realizes he is in love with you, he would feel nervous and unsure of how to express his feelings, but he would also feel a sense of happiness and excitement. He may attempt to spend more time with you and express his affection through kind or romantic gestures. Neteyam would be deeply committed to building a solid and loving relationship with you and would do everything to make you loved and valued.

Neteyam stood in the center of the village, his heart racing as he tried to make sense of the strange feelings swirling within him. He had always cared for you deeply, but now he realized that his feelings had grown into something more.

As he watched you move about the village, a sense of longing and adoration washed over him. He wanted nothing more than to be by your side, to protect and care for you.

With a deep breath, Neteyam made his way over to you and gently took your hand in his. "There's something I need to tell you," he said, his voice shaking with emotion.

You looked up at him, a mix of curiosity and concern in your eyes. "What is it?" you asked softly.

"I think I'm in love with you," Neteyam blurted out, his heart hammering in his chest.

For a moment, you were silent, and Neteyam's heart sank. But then a smile spread across your face, and you squeezed his hand.

"I think I'm in love with you too," you said softly.

If Lo’ak realizes he is in love with you, he would feel both excited and nervous. He may struggle to express his feelings, but would try to find a way to let you know how he feels. This might involve spending more time with you, showing his love through kind or romantic gestures, or simply telling you that he loves you. As he values honesty, Lo’ak would want to be open and sincere in his feelings for you.

Lo'ak sat on the edge of the cliff, staring out at the sunset as he tried to process his feelings. He had always thought of you as a good friend, someone he enjoyed spending time with and trusted deeply. But lately, he had found himself thinking about you in a different way. He found himself getting lost in your smile, feeling his heart race whenever you were near. And when you touched him, it was like a jolt of electricity running through his body.

He knew now that he was in love with you. It was a realization that both thrilled and terrified him. He wasn't sure how you would feel about him, or how this would change things between you. But he knew that he couldn't keep these feelings to himself any longer.

Taking a deep breath, he stood and made his way to where you were working in the garden. "Hey," he said softly, approaching you from behind and placing a hand on your shoulder.

You turned to him, a smile on your face. "Hey, what's up?" you asked.

Lo'ak looked into your eyes, his heart racing. "I have something I need to tell you," he said, his voice shaking slightly. "I'm in love with you."

You looked at him in surprise, your eyes widening. "Lo'ak," you said softly, "I had no idea. I thought we were just friends."

"We are," he said, "but I want to be more. I want to be with you, if you'll have me."

You looked at him for a long moment, your eyes searching his. And then you smiled, a warm and loving smile. "I'm in love with you too," you said softly.

Lo'ak's heart skipped a beat as he pulled you into his arms, holding you close. As you kissed, the sun set behind you, casting a warm glow over the two of you as you began your new journey together.

If Kiri realizes she is in love with you, she would feel a little overwhelmed by her feelings and need some time to process them. She would likely approach you with kindness and gentleness, wanting to express her feelings in a careful and thoughtful manner. She might choose to speak with you privately, expressing her love and explaining why she feels so strongly about you. Kiri would be sincere and genuine in expressing her emotions, and would hope that you would reciprocate her feelings.

Kiri couldn't believe what she was feeling. As she watched you laugh and joke with your friends, she realized that she was in love with you. She felt her heart flutter and her stomach do somersaults, and she knew that she couldn't keep these feelings hidden any longer.

Taking a deep breath, Kiri approached you, her eyes shining with emotion. "I have something to tell you," she said softly.

You turned to her, sensing the seriousness in her tone. "What is it?" you asked, your brow furrowed in concern.

"I love you," Kiri said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I know it's crazy, and we've only known each other for a short time, but I just can't help how I feel. I know I'm not the best with words, but I want you to know that I care about you deeply and I want to be with you."

You were taken aback by Kiri's confession, but as you looked into her eyes, you knew that you felt the same way. You reached out and took her hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

"I love you too, Kiri," you said, your voice filled with emotion. "I've felt it for a while now, but I was too scared to say it. But now that you've said it first, I can't hold back any longer. I want to be with you too."

Kiri's face lit up with joy and she threw her arms around you, hugging you tightly. "I'm so glad," she whispered, her voice choked with tears.

If Neytiri realizes she is in love with you, she may initially be hesitant due to her tendency to take relationships seriously. She would be very open about expressing her feelings to you once she is certain of them. She might approach you with a gentle and sincere demeanor, sharing her love and asking if you feel the same way. Neytiri would be committed and loyal in a relationship, and do everything in her power to make you happy and strengthen the bond between you.

As Neytiri sat alone on the banks of the sacred Hallelujah Mountains, she couldn't shake the feelings that had been swirling within her. She had always thought of you as a dear friend, but lately she had been noticing little things - the way your smile made her heart flutter, the way your laugh made her feel warm inside.

She tried to push the thoughts away, telling herself that she was being silly, but the more she tried to ignore her feelings, the more they seemed to grow. And finally, as the sun began to set, Neytiri couldn't deny it any longer. She was in love with you.

Tentatively, she approached you and took your hand in hers. "I have something I need to tell you," she said softly. "I realize that this might be unexpected, but I can't keep it inside any longer. I love you."

As she gazed into your eyes, Neytiri's heart pounded in her chest. She wasn't sure how you would react, but she knew that she had to take the risk and be honest with her feelings. And as she waited for your response, she couldn't help but hope that you felt the same way.

If Jake realizes he is in love with you, he may initially feel hesitant and unsure of how to express his feelings. He would try to be as open and honest with you as possible. He might take some time to consider his emotions and the best way to express them, and then approach you with sincerity. He may choose to tell you directly how he feels or show his love through his actions, such as by being more attentive and caring toward you.

As Jake sat near his hut, he found himself lost in thought. He couldn't shake the feeling that he was falling in love with you, and it filled him with a mix of emotions. Part of him was excited at the prospect of a deep and meaningful connection, but another part of him was hesitant and unsure. He had never felt this way before, and he didn't know how to navigate it.

After some contemplation, Jake decided to take a walk in the forest. He often found clarity and perspective in nature, and he hoped that the peace and serenity of Pandora's wilderness would help him make sense of his feelings. As he walked through the trees, he couldn't help but think of you. He remembered the way your smile lit up your face, and the way your laughter filled his heart with joy. He knew that he wanted to be with you, to support you, and care for you.

Finally, Jake made a decision. He knew that he couldn't keep his feelings hidden any longer. He needed to be honest with you, no matter how difficult it may be. He returned to the camp and found you sitting near your own hut, lost in thought. Jake approached you and sat down beside you, taking your hand in his.

"I know I haven't always been the best at expressing my feelings," he began, his voice soft and sincere. "But I need you to know that I am in love with you. I care about you deeply and I want to be with you. I'll do whatever it takes to make you happy." As he spoke, he could see the surprise and happiness in your eyes. And as you leaned in to kiss him, he knew that he had made the right choice.

If Tsireya realizes she is in love with you, she would be open and honest with her feelings and would want to express them to you in a sincere way. She would want to share her feelings and build a deeper connection between the two of you. She might express her love through words, actions, or physical affection, depending on what felt most natural and authentic for her.

Tsireya sat on the sand, looking out at the ocean as the sun began to set. She had been feeling a mix of emotions lately, and she wasn't quite sure what to make of them. She had always cared deeply for you, but lately she had started to feel something more. Something deeper and more intense.

As she sat there, lost in thought, she heard a soft footstep behind her. She turned to see you standing there, looking at you with a concerned expression.

"Hey," you said, "is everything okay? You looked a little lost in thought."

Tsireya took a deep breath, trying to gather her thoughts. "I don't really know," she said. "I've been feeling really confused lately. I care about you so much, and I want to be there for you. But lately, I've been feeling something more. Something that I can't quite put into words."

You smiled gently and took a step closer. "It's okay," you said. "You don't have to put it into words. I can see it in your eyes. You love me, Tsireya. And I love you too."

Tsireya's eyes filled with tears as she realized that you were right. She did love you. And at that moment, everything felt clear and certain. She threw her arms around you, hugging them tightly. "I love you so much," she whispered, her voice choked with emotion.

If Tonowari realizes he is in love with you, he would feel grateful at first. He would definitely express his love for you through words and gestures, showing you how much you mean to him. Ha may also be more attentive and caring towards you, wanting to make sure you feel loved and supported.

Tonowari had been spending a lot of time with you lately, and as he watched you laugh and smile, he realized that he had fallen head over heels in love with you. His heart swelled with emotion and he knew that he had to tell you how he felt.

He approached you tentatively, his heart racing. "I have something to tell you," he said, his voice shaking with nerves. "I know this might be sudden, but I...I love you. I love you more than anything in this world, and I can't imagine my life without you."

You looked up at him, your eyes shining with love. "I love you too," you said, your voice full of emotion. "I've known it for a while, but I didn't know if you felt the same way."

Tonowari grinned and wrapped you in a hug, his heart overflowing with joy. "I do," he said. "I love you more than anything. You're the most important person in my life, and I promise to always be there for you and to love you with all my heart." You hugged him back, feeling your own heart overflowing with love.

Tag -> @eywas-heir

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ya-zz · 3 months

Note

Hii! I love your work and I'm a recent follower, so I wanted to request something a little selfish for me! If it's okay, and if you're willing, could I have some headcannons with Ramattra, Genji and Lifeweaver with a deaf!reader? I'd love to hear your thoughts about how quick they would pick up on sign language, and maybe reader giving them a cute allias in sign language? Per example, instead of signing Genji ’s name letter by letter, I would simply sign "My Dragon". Again, this is an extremely specific request so if you choose to pass it on, it's completely okay! Much love to you 🌺

This was such a cute thing to write, selfish or not. I don't really see many fics or hc's out there about this sorta thing, so I am glad to write this! Hope this is what you were looking for! ♥

RAMATTRA

Ramattra never knew why you didn’t speak to him, only when someone mentioned that you couldn’t hear him did he realise the issue.

It also explained why you never answered him. You didn’t even know he was talking.

He researched how to apologise so he could have some peace of mind. He wasn’t mad, but he did wish someone would’ve told him sooner.

He searched for any module possible to instantly talk to you.

However, there was the issue of finding the right module.

With the many variations of sign language, he had to find the one that matched yours.

It took some time, but when he found the correct module, he was practically fluent in sign language, though he was still slow at talking.

It warms his circuits the moment he first signed to you and you smiled with a sparkle in your eyes.

His joints weren’t used to doing intricate hand signs, but over time, he got used to it.

Day after day he would sit with you to learn how to sign efficiently.

It was a learning curve to him, one he was grateful for as you were the one teaching him.

He was advancing in a way he had never imagined, especially with a human.

One day while signing with him, having what seemed like a normal conversation, you had signed something he hadn’t seen before.

It took his processors a moment to work it out and when he realised what you had signed, he chuckled, signing “thank you” towards you with a tilt of his head.

“My omnic”.

GENJI

You had been responding to the ninja fairly well, but when you didn’t respond to his callout once, he wondered if you had ignored him.

He approached you, a little cautious in case you were annoyed at him, but when he realised you were constantly looking at his lips, it clicked for him.

Genji was close to you, figured you were just the quite kid, but being deaf was something he hadn’t thought about.

He spent that night researching and practising sign language.

It was a slow process for the ninja; he was always too distracted, but he picked up words and phrases to impress you.

Maybe a month went by before he finally managed to say a full sentence without any mistakes, but the fact that he was trying was enough for you.

After awhile, Genji would try to learn more.

He would take online classes to make sure he was doing the correct hand movements; that he was making sense.

Sometimes he would mess up, but that was okay.

The ninja spent his free time learning full sentences, eventually leading up to a full conversation with you.

It made you warm with happiness that he went through the effort to learn something new.

Sign language was hard, and with Genji being constantly distracted, it only made it slower to learn and he was several months in to learning.

Though, when you signed something to him that he had never learnt, he stumbled, thinking about it for the rest of the day before he researched what you had said.

A genuine smile appears on his face when he learns what you called him.

“My dragon.”

LIFEWEAVER

Niran had some knowledge of sign language prior to meeting you.

When he heard you were deaf, he was excited to speak to you, though his speech was limited.

Seeing him interact with you was comforting, even if he did get embarrassed about his mistakes.

He would spend most of his nights practising, relearning what he already knew and focussing on his weaker points.

Niran would always go to you for help, wanting to know if he’s signing right and what he needs to work on.

It was like you were a tutor to him, one he felt comfortable around.

When he wasn’t working on his biology and science, he would study some more.

There was always room for improvement.

His mind was taken up by you, the want and need to impress you, no matter how many mistakes he made. It was all apart of the process.

Everything was going smoothly. His nightly studying was paying off and he was starting to fully understand conversation.

It only took a couple months for him to be fluent, the perks of being a fast learner but also sticking to a regime.

There was the odd occasion where he would mess up, but even you wouldn’t lie that you did it too.

He was fond of your presence, much like you were fond of his.

Niran was surprised when you signed a different name for him, one that made his cheeks flush the same pink colour.

“My lotus.”

#overwatch #ramattra #ramattra x reader #genji #genji x reader #lifeweaver #lifeweaver x reader #genji shimada #niran pruksamanee #overwatch fanfiction #reader insert #yazzfics

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sublimecatgalaxy · 2 years

Note

the little thing you wrote about Eddy comforting reader was so cute!!! sooo naturally my mind wandered off to Billy immediately and now I would like to request the same prompt, but with him :))

But like, this is Billy we're talking about, he's probably not very experienced with comforting people, but it would be SO cute to see him try!

anyway hope you had a good day! Love your writing!

I like literally can not stay away from this request since my love for Billy is like...pathetic and desperate and I love writing him more than like anyone right now😭

Angry tears flow down my cheeks as I take a breath in, the cool air of Indiana soothing my aching lungs, my eyes watching the cars go by and my ears tune into the teens raging inside. It was the annual Christmas party, the one that seems to come together every year by some random chance of fate, thrown by a random teen with rich parent.

And for some reason, I was invited to go.

But the minute that a drink was thrown at my white shirt, the group of men that cornered me joking about wanting to see what's going on 'underneath', I was out as quickly as I came in. There's only so much groping a girl could take in one night while trying to have a good night.

I wipe at my shirt with the sweater I brought, ruining it in the process of trying to dry me off. I groan loudly, tossing the sweater to the steps and I hear a door open, someone stepping onto the porch behind me.

"Occupied." I mutter, my face falling into my hands but I can still sense someone take a seat beside me. My head tilts to see Billy Hargrove with a shit eating grin on his face, my shoulders deflating. "I don't need you making fun of me right now." I huff, his tongue sweeping out to wet his lips and he bumps my shoulder with his.

"Come on, sweet-cheeks, tell me what happened." He sighs, resting his elbows on his knees as he leans over, pretty curls falling to frame his face. My lips part and a shuddered breath leaves me, my hands reaching up to wipe my cheeks. The last thing I need right now is for him to mock me or make fun of me for crying at one of the only parties I've ever attended in all of high school.

So do I tell him or do I just brush him off?"

"C'mon, don't tell me you're crying over some dumbass who broke your heart?" He laughs shallowly with a shrug and suddenly I realize that he thinks I was dumped or something, crying over something so trivial and stupid to someone like him, a serial romantic and a serial heartbreaker.

"It's not about a guy- I mean it is, but not for the reason you think." I sniffle, catching his attention as he suddenly realizes the sweater laying at my feet and my makeup that's running down my cheeks. His eyes flash with anger, his back straightening as he turns to me.

"Who did it?" His question is simple but the way he says it makes my head spin, the way his jaw grits when he asks, almost in a low, threatening tone. He's angry at the thought of someone hurting me.

"Billy-" He cuts me off quickly, holding a hand up to silence me as he leans towards me a bit.

"I'm not messing with you. What'd they do?" I'm confused at his concern, or maybe it's worry, especially since him and I are not the closest of friends. We've studied together here and there, but only because our teachers assign me as a tutor for him. I'm closer to his sister Max, spending a lot of time with her at the arcade so nothing would actually give him a reason to want to help me or care for me.

"Some guys came up to me and they were just messing around, grabbing me and stuff and when I refused to, uh- you know- they threw punch on me so they could see through my shirt." I explain slowly, disgusted by my own words, my eyes fluttering shut in frustration.

He's eerily silent, his shoulders pulled back in taunt anger and I can imagine his blue eyes gawking at me in shock. When I take the time to look at him, he's exactly how I would've imagined him, face red and blue eyes wide in anger.

"You got any names? Cuz I'll make sure they don't fuck with you." He offers and even though his words are menacing, his voice has a hint of softness to it. With a laugh, I shake my head, brushing his concern off, not wanting him to become homicidal over a few ugly perverts.

"No, it's fine. Just too mortified to go in there again." My head cranes back to look through the front door, looking at the teens who dance and smile, wondering why it's so hard for me to just blend in and follow along with my peers. It makes me nauseous to think that they can do such inappropriate things and just move on, not caring about their actions and how they impact people.

"Wanna get outta here then?" Billy's offer makes me break out in a cold sweat, my heart fluttering at the thought of being alone with him. He notices my apprehension and pauses, his normal smirk dropping and so do his eyes, gaze skimming along the skin of my bare legs.

"With you?" I stutter out, clearing my throat and he nods, leaning back to rest his elbows against the concrete step. "You're not gonna try to cop a feel right?" He bursts out laughing at my jest, my body relaxing a bit at his calmness, not completely used to him being so human instead of being revved up and angry.

"God no." He chuckles, moving to stand and he reaches out to hold a hand out to me. I pause before slipping my hand into his, loving the feeling of his skin against mine. He smiles, helping me down off of the porch as he leans in to whisper in my ear. "Haven't you heard? I'm a gentleman now."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- Taglist: @bubblebuttwade @rafelover2405 @leslienjazzy @sorceresss @grxnde-dwt @alex–awesome–22 @bunnietoof @niyamar1e @serialghost @plantlungs @geniusohn @akaliltimmytim @lilaalouuxx @xshariex @elliotsbeigeguitar @elle4404 @lelieja @srhxpci @joselyn001 @taysirene @spinkspanther @thedivineuphoria @peter-maximoffs @tsukishimawhore @poohkie90 @szlaco @distantsighs @nstyles4299 @wolflover384 @givemefoodandlovesstuff @vane28282 @yeswhatever33 @amirrahfranson @vvaalleennttiinna @f-mu @yaspillz @jeyramarie @skylievin@abbybarnes17 @jointherebellion215 @visiondaddy @steezysimfinds @its-ya-gay-boi-luigi @crunchytoenailsyum@glizzymcguirex @beth123lg @melovesmut @rafecameronswhore @ariianelle @write-from-the-heart @vampviolets@haylee-e@popehaywardssecretgf @honee-chai-tea @lokiandbuckywife @smoke-and-fire @officiallyunofficialperson@heyaitsklaudia@rosepetalsparks @bluetreecloud20 @scenesofobx @double-shot-of-tequila @1dluver13xx @colbysbrocks @iamasimpingh0e @smoke-and-fire386 @loveshineslikethesky @id-3-kbro @diorsitgirl @errorfound101-allideasburnedout @neverwillknowme18 @ellyskey @taylors-folk @loversjoy @myaloveee @thyris-is @lagataprrr

#billy #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove #billy x reader #stranger things #stranger things fic

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mackjlee9 · 10 months

Text

|Part 2|Gally x Male!Reader [Fluff]

Warning; canon divergence, movie verse, ooc!gally.

Masterlist.

«««

The Maze Runner

Working with the rest of the Gardeners proved to be quite difficult, not because of the stubborn roots of the tree, but because the Builders were also working nearby, and that meant Gally was there.

(M/n) could feel the burn of Gally's stare on him as they worked, everyone around sensed the tense ambiance between them but only those who played true or dare knew why, the rest only thought that maybe Gally and (M/n) had some sort of disagreement or argument. But... If that was the case...

Why was Gally so calm and quiet? The builders realized how their Keeper just kept glancing at (M/n) or even staring, but he didn't look mad, he looked rather relaxed, going as far as to treat them more gently, giving them thoughtful advice instead of yelling at them until they understood what they were supposed to be doing. No one complained but it was a strange change of his behavior, which kind of worried more than one.

On the other side, (M/n) was irritated and felt guilty, refusing to talk to Newt whenever the blond approached him for something not related to work. He was really trying to think how he was gonna apologize and explain things to Gally without dying in the process.

And the time was approaching. At some point, Gally was gonna come over and take him away to talk, probably punch him a couple of times, but he'll just have to wait and see. But with the maze walls closing, it was time to start making dinner, so they only had another hour to work before eating and then, to bed.

"Dinner's ready!" Frypan called alongside Wyck, and everyone cleaned themselves up enough to be able to sit around the few tables and logs, enjoying a fulfilling meal. However, (M/n) could feel his stomach drop every time he made eye contact with Gally, making him lose his appetite.

He excused himself and sat by the bonfire for a few minutes, before he heard the crunching of sticks and leaves behind him.

"(M/n)," Gally was standing there when he glanced behind him, the light of the fire shining on him, "Come with me," he began turning his body to walk away, but his eyes remained on (M/n), waiting for him to stand up and start following him.

Releasing a sigh, (M/n) stood up and put his hands in his pockets, following Gally into the meeting hall. He was worried, maybe Gally was actually gonna punch him, but even if his fist didn't collide with his face as soon the door closed, it definitely would after (M/n) tells him the reason behind the kiss.

They stood there for a few seconds in complete silence, an awkward and tense silence that neither of them knew how to break. But (M/n) couldn't hold back anymore.

"Gally-" releasing a deep sigh, Gally took a few steps forward, placing his hands on (M/n)'s shoulders, looking him in the eyes, effectively making the (h/c) haired male shut up.

"Listen, I..." (M/n) blinked a few times at the sight of a hesitant Gally, he rarely seemed this way, unsure and anxious, it was strange, "I think I like you," with wide-open eyes, (M/n) stared at Gally as he shifted in place, "Maybe it's not love what I feel or more like I'm not sure if it is, but..." Gally took a few deep breaths, his grip tightening on (M/n)'s shoulders as a way to try and calm down his racing heart and shaky hands, "I feel something, and even tho I'm scared, I wanna... Try this out, maybe, if you're up to it...?"

(M/n) has never heard Gally sound so vulnerable, he was showing him a side of himself he has never shown before and he couldn't ignore how the soft look in his green eyes made his heart beat faster.

Then there was the reason that caused all of this in the first place, and he knew he was gonna hurt Gally once he tells him, and he didn't want that. Especially not with the way his eyes seemed to be shining with hope, there was no way he could reject him, could he?

He opened his mouth to answer him, but he didn't know what to say in this situation, and Gally realized.

"Oh! You don't... Have to answer me now," he added with a nervous chuckle, releasing his hold on (M/n) and scratching the back of his neck.

(M/n) scolded himself and reached his hand to hold Gally's gently, making eye contact with him. He swallowed nervously and nodded, "I would... Like to try it out, Gally."

The usual superior smirk he saw on Gally was replaced by his genuine and shy smile, accompanied by a chuckle and a squeeze of his hand.

(M/n) had no idea what he had just gotten himself into, but there was no going back now. Even so, he couldn't help but think that he would be able to learn more about Gally beyond that tough exterior he had.

///////

The following days were a little awkward for them, still trying to understand how to work this out, and (M/n) ignored everyone's questions regarding Gally, there was something in him that didn't wanna say anything about the situation, most likely because he didn't want to hear them make fun of Gally, who had proved to be quite the sweetheart.

Every now and again, Gally would give him his share of food or help with the garden when he didn't have much to do. They would spend most nights up late, talking a bit and knowing a bit more about each other.

It was kind of crazy how they had been practically living together for a year and didn't know anything about the other, maybe that was what started it all.

They still behaved like friends around the rest of the gladers, and that didn't change much when they were all by themselves, they just weren't used to the physical affection so they were hesitant about it all.

And now, late at night while everyone was fast asleep, they were sitting against a tree trunk on the edge of the woods, looking up at the moon shining bright on them and the stars littering the night sky, they were in complete silence, enjoying each other's company.

Gally turned his head to look at (M/n), blinking slowly and sighing deeply as he looked at him, catching (M/n)'s attention, who couldn't help but feel a little shy under Gally's stare.

Feeling like words would break the moment completely, (M/n) remained quiet, staring into Gally's eyes. He saw him smiling sweetly, his green eyes shifting from looking at his (h/c) eyes down to his lips. (M/n) couldn't help but do the same, staring at Gally's slightly parted lips, he took in a deep breath and slowly leaned closer, hearing how Gally held his breath.

For a moment, he thought Gally didn't want to kiss him, but the way his hand reached up to hold his face gently made a shiver run down his spine, his green eyes were locked on his lips, his mouth opening and closing every few moments, their breathes mixing at the closeness of their faces.

"Please..." (M/n) barely heard his whisper, watching him bite his bottom lip and shift in place, "Kiss me, (M/n)."

Closing the small distance between them, (M/n) pressed his lips on Gally's, hearing his satisfied hum as his hand moved to the back of his head, gently gripping the hair on his nape to prevent him from backing away.

After what left like hours, Gally was the first one to break their kiss, and there was something about the gentle look in his eyes and the sweet smile pulling his lips that made (M/n)'s heart start pounding in his chest. He could look at Gally while his face heated up, watching him lean in to kiss his cheek before standing up from the ground.

"We should go to sleep, it's late," after blinking a few times, he grabbed Gally's hand that was extended to him, walking to the homestead and soon making their separate ways to head to their own beds.

(M/n) spent a few minutes awake on his hammock, frowning at the giddy feeling he felt on his body and the tingling in his stomach whenever he thought of Gally. He found himself soon sighing deeply at the memory of his bright green eyes, those eyes that had a tendency to look more blue than green and vice-versa on certain occasions, the freckles that dotted his nose and cheeks, the frown in his brow whenever he was focused on something.

He certainly couldn't just pretend he wasn't feeling something, but whatever it was that he was feeling...

He liked it, a lot.

//////

Ever since that night, everyone started noticing how close (M/n) and Gally seemed to have gotten, sometimes they even saw them playing around and they heard how happy Gally could be with the right person.

Despite the situation being a mystery to most of the gladers, the group that had been playing true or dare knew better than to think it was just coincidence. Something happened, that's for sure, but (M/n) wasn't saying a word about why he was suddenly best friends with Gally.

But soon, they found out why they were the closest friends now, only it wasn't simply them being friendly.

Like it was usual, (M/n) was gone after mumbling an excuse as he headed to the woods, and well, Newt made Thomas bring more fertilizer as it was usual nowadays, and he did. "Tell (M/n) to come back if you find him on your way!"

Thomas glanced back and nodded as he walked further past the trees, getting into the deep parts of it. He got lost in thought as he wondered what could've happened between (M/n) and Gally, obviously it wasn't anything bad, but it was odd, and unsettling. Maybe because he was used to having Gally yell at him and see him scowling every second of the day. He started to think that maybe Gally wasn't such a bad guy, he was just... Often misunderstood.

He stopped walking when he heard mumbles close by. He didn't realize he had walked way further than he needed, but his curiosity about who was in such a secluded place made him cautiously walk closer. Thomas was quick to recognize (M/n)'s clothes and hair from where he was standing, but there was a hand interlocked on his hair, which confused him, and leaning closer to get a better view, he covered his mouth to prevent the gasp that threatened to escape him.

The last thing he expected was to see (M/n) and Gally pressed so close together... Kissing. His eyes couldn't stare for longer, even less when (M/n)'s hands gripped Gally's hips tighter.

He realized he had to leave right that second or he would be found out, and who knows what Gally would do to him if that were to happen.

//////

Thankfully for Newt, the bell announcing lunchtime prevented him from telling Thomas- for the hundredth time since he came back- to get back to work.

He didn't pay much attention to how Thomas was behaving, but he realized how he couldn't even look at (M/n) in the eye without going pale and glancing away. So he asked.

"What's wrong with you, eh?" Newt casually asked Thomas when they were returning their empty bowls to Frypan, and walking out to rest for a bit before getting back to work. Thomas picked nervously at the skin of his hand and wrist, looking up at Newt from where he was sitting.

"I saw... (M/n) and Gally in the woods..." Newt turned to look at Thomas, there was something about the expression on his face that made him feel on edge, but he didn't say anything, "They were... Kissing..."

Right after saying that, Thomas stood up, panicking as he mumbled how he probably shouldn't have said anything about what he saw, but Newt did a good job at helping him calm down.

"Listen, let's just talk to (M/n) about it, okay? I'm sure he has an explanation," Thomas looked into Newt's eyes, seeing the reassurance he needed and he nodded a couple of times, "But first, we have stuff to do."

Working was quite difficult for Thomas, especially when he caught a glance of (M/n) playfully pushing Gally as they laughed before walking to their respective job places.

"Hey Newt! You need help?" The blond shook his head and silently signaled toward Thomas, who flinched upon making eye contact with (M/n), "Well, greenie, let me help ya."

Despite what he had seen, Thomas realized that (M/n) was the same as always, there was nothing different about him, and he wondered how he managed to hide so well the fact that he had something going on with Gally.

Lost in his mind, he didn't realize the automatic movement of his body, ending up cutting his skin open. Nothing too serious, but it was a cut on his palm, so it was bleeding quite a bit. (M/n) heard his hiss and curse, making him look toward the greenie, who was looking down at his bloody palm.

"Oh god, Thomas," he dropped his tool and rushed toward him, helping him stand up despite his complaints that he was okay, "Let's just get you to the med hut, or it's gonna get infected, come on."

Newt watched as (M/n) dragged Thomas away and he muttered to Zart that he was gonna be right back, following after the two males. Gally saw this happening and he wondered what could've happened, he just hoped it wasn't anything serious.

But with the minutes going past, he saw no sign of either of them walking out, so he decided to momentarily stop what he was doing and go check. He wasn't sure why he did, but he wanted to make sure everything was alright in the med hut.

As he approached, he could hear their voices, gradually getting louder the closer he got, and he realized that they were arguing. Gally frowned at the sound of (M/n) getting into an argument with someone, since he was usually pretty calm and level-headed.

"This is all your and Minho's fault in the first place, Newt!" Gally stayed close to the hut, somewhat hidden as he listened in on their discussion, "None of this would've happened if you hadn't dared me to kiss Gally theat night!"

His breath hitched as he processed the words he just heard (M/n) say. So... That's why...

"Well, you are the one who's still exchanging saliva with Gally, and that's not my fault!" Gally frowned and clenched his jaw, closing his hand in tight fists. He was angry, sad, and disappointed, but most of all he felt betrayed. He was always honest about his feelings, and (M/n) was just making fun of him behind his back.

He was about to turn around and leave, when (M/n) spoke again, more calmly now.

"Newt... Gally isn't what everyone sees, he's not how everyone thinks he is. He's actually... Very gentle and kind, and..." Everyone waited impatiently for (M/n)'s next words, which seemed to take way too long, "I love him. I really love Gally."

Feeling his face heating up, Gally left the med hut and walked back to the builders. He tried to concentrate on the blueprint he had in front of him, but he couldn't, those words repeating over and over inside his mind, but he soon saw the three males coming back, (M/n) walking at the end, looking down at the dirt under his boots.

'I really love Gally.'

(M/n)'s words echoed louder than before, and he couldn't help it.

He began stomping his way to the (h/c) haired male, a scowl on his face, "(M/n)!" He called loud and clear for the gladers around to hear him. Gally's demeanor and body language made everyone think he was gonna punch (M/n), and some of them were ready to break the fight if it happened.

But it never came.

Lifting his arms, Gally held (M/n)'s face still as he leaned closer to him, completely cutting his words as their lips pressed together.

A collective gasp was heard in the Glade, everyone staring with wide eyes at the scene before them. Even (M/n) was staring at Gally in shock, completely frozen in place, which made Gally chuckle, his fingers moving (M/n)'s hair away from his face.

"I love you too. A lot."

The silence was filled by the cheering coming from the builders, soon followed by the Cooks and pretty much everyone that had been there to witness their kiss.

(M/n) felt his whole body heating up and he saw the bright red blush that coated Gally's face, making his freckles more noticeable.

"I'm guessing you heard?" He nodded and reached down to hold (M/n)'s hand when he saw him glancing away.

"We have to talk later, but... We should get back to work for now," Gally let go of him and turned around, ready to head back to work.

"Hey, Gally," he heard (M/n) calling him, making him turn around, only to be caught off guard by another kiss. He let out an involuntary hum as he closed his eyes, but it was short-lived. (M/n) backed away, chuckling at the flustered look on Gally's face as he headed toward the gardens, "Love you."

Hearing chuckles and giggles around him, Gally glared at them, not needing to say anything for them to scramble back to their job places. He grinned to himself and sighed, thinking about finally being able to concentrate on that blueprint.

#gally x reader #gally x male reader #the maze runner #the maze runner x reader #the maze runner x male reader #tmr x male reader #tmr x reader #tmr gally #will poulter #will poulter x reader #will poulter x male reader #fluff #male reader #x reader #reader insert #.mackjlee9 writes

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the-milk-monarch · 4 months

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Ezekiel and Justin + S/O, who's good at reading body language = ??

☣︎ Sorry for the late answer, Ezekiel, Justin and reading body language isn't my strong side 💀 I dun rly know how to write Justin so hopefully I wrote what you wanted-

[𝚂/𝙾 𝚆𝙷𝙾'𝚂 𝙶𝙾𝙾𝙳 𝙰𝚃 𝚁𝙴𝙰𝙳𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙱𝙾𝙳𝚈 𝙻𝙰𝙽𝙶𝚄𝙰𝙶𝙴]

Summary: Confessions.

[𝙴𝚣𝚎𝚔𝚒𝚎𝚕]

Even though Ezekiel wasn't the perfect boyfriend material, it didn't mean he couldn't get a crush on someone.

That someone was you.

He was still somewhat out of touch with the world around him, but he seemed to be even more- "off" with you.

He could be seen around you more often than not, in hopes that he wouldn't fuck up as usual.

Most of the time he didn't even know what went wrong, since this was how he was raised and at his house no one had a problem with such things?

I also headcanon him as autistic

So he just kinda hoped whatever he did around you didn't come off as insensitive or wrong to say.

"Hey- Y/N." He looked at you as he approached, making a hand gesture that would catch your attention. "You need any help, maybe?" He asked hesitantly but keeping it cool, as if he was scared of once again being yelled at for being inappropriate. So he elaborated. "I mean- Not that I think you're weak- Just- You know- I wanna be helpful." He shrugged, looking somewhere else before returning to your gaze briefly. You had some sympathy for the boy, knowing he's just really out of touch. You didn't sense any maliciousness coming his way, so you were usually pretty kind to him "I know, don't worry. You're fine." You said calmly. "Sure, I could use some help."

You noticed that Ezekiel was also bit more chatty with you than with others.

And, well, he watched his mouth a lot more too.

He usually had a pre-planned response to start off with talking to you.

He still tried to learn to not be as insensitive around other people, but it was really visible to you that he tried to be extra careful with you around.

That made you think a little- Why?

So one day you decided to get some answers.

Usually it was Ezekiel approaching you first, but this time you decided to turn it around. "Hey, Zeke?" You calmly and friendly tried to get his attention. "Huh?" He got thrown off of his thoughts as he heard his name being called. "Oh. Y/N- Hey. What is it?" He turned his focus on you, a bit curious. "I have a question for you, if you don't mind." You tried to be as casual as you could, not wanting to scare him off. You just wanted to have a friendly chat and perhaps confirm your thoughts about him. "Uhh... Okay. Just not anything hard, alright?" He looked at you now more curious but also slightly worried of what the question would be. You giggled slightly at his choice of words, which made him tilt his head a bit. "Well- It's not a math equation. I was just curious-" You start off gently. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but I've noticed you're a bit more careful around me than others." You don't sugarcoat, but you try to not sound as if you're mad or accusing him of something. "Uh..." He stopped for a second, thinking what to respond. You weren't supposed to give him a hard question! "...Is that wrong?" He tilted his head even more, a bit confused why would you ask about that. Did he do something wrong again? "Oh, no, no-" You quickly reassure him. "No, I actually kinda appreciate that-" "But I also didn't want you to- you know, stress out around me." You elaborate. He blinks once as he processes what you said. "...I mean- It's not that I'm afraid of you, ya kno-" He explains himself a little, although you can see a bit of anxiousness seeping in from his behavior. "But sometimes it seems that whatever I do is somehow wrong, so I don't want you to be mad at me or somethin'." He kicks dirt on the ground a little to release some stress as he keeps his hands in his pocket, still not showing that he's bothered, except avoiding eye contact. "I won't be mad at you for something that you say without bad intentions. I mean, hey, everyone makes mistakes, right?" You try to lighten up the situation and make some wiggle room for him so he doesn't feel as if he's being interviewed. "I guess so-" He looks at you briefly, now visibly less worried. His body language wasn't really telling, but your deduction skills told you that you were in the clear, without making him too uncomfortable. However, you decided to ask a bit more risky question after that. "So... Is there a reason why you feel the need to be more careful around me?" You tried to gently probe an answer from him. He stopped for a second, as if caught doing something bad. "Uhm..." He started getting a bit more uncomfy, now visibly looking away from you. You awaited calmly for his answer, trying to be as non threatening and open as possible. If you were to tell the truth, you kinda suspected Zeke might have caught a small crush on you. Of course you weren't 100% sure, and you really hoped that you read his subtle signs right. Otherwise this situation would turn awkward really quick. "Well- You're just the nicest to me, ya kno? ... I really don't want you to hate me." He spoke with a bit hesitant but honest tone as his gaze fell on the ground instead of your eyes. You smiled softly and sympathetically, seeing how much he valued your opinion about him. "You don't have to worry about that- I like you, you know." You said with conviction. He paused for a moment before nodding. His eyes that were covered by the brown hair looked at you for a moment, holding the short eye contact. "... How much?" He dared to ask. He just stood there, as if asking a normal question, but still awaiting some sort of possible bad reaction. He got you a bit dumbfounded, but since he answered all of your questions so nicely, you decided to return the favor. "Uh... I guess a decent amount-" You shrugged, showing a bit of coy smile.

"Like, just a friend, right??" He continued asking, piercing you with his gaze that needed answers. His tone didn't indicate any need or hope for your connection to be deeper, but his look was obvious. You stopped for a moment, before finally having to answer the hard question. "As a friend, for sure!" You started off. "But- if you wanna- dunno, get to know each other closer one day- I don't see an issue with this either." You finally said the words that could possibly take a big to your pride with rejection. He paused. Tilted his head. And then spoke. "Wait- You mean like- You wanna get to know me closer?" He asked, still not believing your original statement. "To be fair I never had a best friend..." He obviously assumed you meant it as that. He put on a thoughtful expression, thinking about it, which made you wanna expand on your words. "No, I mean- As partners. Dating." You elaborated, awaiting his reaction. His expression remained calm as he was processing what was said to him, until it finally clicked and his eyes went wide. "Oh." He only managed to say. "Okay- Wow, huh." His surprise was very much visible. "Yeah, that would be- That would be cool." His words were slightly flat per usual, but you could see both the shock and relief emitting from him.

Be patient with this boy, he still has some figuring out and learning to do.

If you're really determined to date him, be prepared to be the one to lead the hard situations (like the mentioned confession) by yourself, at least at first.

[𝙹𝚞𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚗]

When Justin started to hang around you more, you knew something was up.

He's good at (and known for) using his good looks to get what he wants, whether it'd be simple adoration or help with the challenge.

It started with with him just trying to make a small talk.

You didn't mind, as long as he wasn't trying to use you so he could stay lazy.

"You know, you're not half-bad. I mean, nothing compares to my beauty of course, but..." He gave you a backhanded compliment. "Wow, that's big coming from you." You said half-sarcastically, but in a lighthearted way. "Oh, yeah, I know." He smirked handsomely while fixing his hair with one hand.

Unlike what you expected, he didn't really try to woo and use you.

He might have merely suggested it one time, but if you didn't budge then he stopped doing that.

Well, trying to use you that is, he was still kind of trying to woo you.

You noticed Justin was behaving a bit differently around you than with others contestants.

He was casually giving you "compliments", which was weird, because usually he was focused only on himself.

He thought he was clever by "slowly pulling you in" to like him, like other contestants.

He wouldn't have to disclose his attraction to you then, and instead you'd do it first.

But you didn't bite the bait.

You had a suspicion that he wanted you to do just that.

And you were curious if he was determined enough for your attention to come to you himself.

So finally, after some time, he got frustrated with his last failed attempt.

"Y/N-" He whined dramatically, with a given up tone. You turned his head towards the pathetic sound. "Are you really not affected by my beauty? Is this face not worth your attention?" He looked at you, combing his hair in a truly despaired manner. "... What do you mean?" You raised your brow in half amusement, already knowing what he refers, but you tried to remain neutral. "All this time I've been trying to get you to confess your true feelings for me, and you're still so stubborn..." You couldn't help but chuckle at his visible attempts to... confess to you? gaslight you so you'd do it?? "Well- Have you tried doing it first?" You turned the question on him. That shut him up for a second, after which he quickly regained himself into more graceful posture from his grand acting. You heard him sigh. "Well- If I have to." He cleared his throat and started. "Y/N, if you'd confess your attraction to me, I'd accept." You rolled your eyes at his attempt to keep his pride, but you gave him some brownie points for at least somewhat owning up to it. You copied his acting with clearing your throat and responded. "Well, Justin, if you'd do that, I'd be up for it."

He'd appreciate your keen senses of figuring people out on the competition btw.

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