Tumgik
#<- new tag!! for the art im the most proud of/put the most time and effort into
artpegacorn · 2 months
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* Let's entertain each other a while longer.
* After all, in this world...
* IT'S KILL OR BE KILLED
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malbenita · 10 months
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Was tagged in a self-love game by amazing @juuyeah and @rlbbackup !
List your top 3 favorite works you’ve done (art fics whatever u want) AND WHY :D gotta make sure to do the why👹no self deprivation here🕺Feel free to rope anybody else into this chain we gotta self lovo 🤸‍♀️
I don’t have much in stock since I was only actively drawing digitally for about a year, but I have some milestones here
First is… banana???
OKAY LET ME EXPLAIN before banana July 28 I had little to no experience with render and colour. I was silly. My colours were BAD. I just got something other then default brushes and I rendered these bananas to the limit. And it was indeed fun! Still proud of the way these turned out
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Second one in my first finished ambitious work and is dedicated to sxf. As always - big ideas small experiences. And it took me over a whole month to finish! I was struggling endlessly with each character here and amount of render is crazy, I would change a lot here nowadays and actually maybe will redraw it someday. Like saturation levels on Anya hello??? Arms?? These poor flowers?… But I still love this one for trying and for it being associated with my first fandom memories 💖
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Now I’ll talk about brand new drawing. It isn’t much of a redraw but it’s vaguely resembles concept from an old work of mine and does Tell A Lot.
First one was meant to be Halloween special that… took Oct 30 - Nov 23 lol girl slow. (Poorly censored blood because im lazy) and a fresh 4h remake next to it. Tumblr ate colours sadly since red is the most hated part of spectrum by media it seems, but I am really proud of made progress. I wasn’t able to finish first one because I was putting too much effort. And recent one is like… at least 28 times faster and DONE.
Sometimes less is more. I learnt where to spend more time and put more details and where I can save time. I wasn’t trying even twice as hard as first time and it worked! This drawing is basically “I’ve grown, I’ve learnt” with all techniques and shortcuts and an idea of what am I even doing.
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As to who to tag I am not sure (few weeks late with response), so anyone actually! I would love to see what others made, so I’m tagging You - freely use me in “was tagged by”! No matter the skill personal achievements are valuable and admirable ❤️
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jacqcrisis · 11 months
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Regret to inform you that I've seen at least two different people in one of my fandoms posting AI fic (that's tagged as such, no idea on people who are posting and pretending they wrote it themselves). I've never used ao3's block user function before this but now I block everyone who uses the written by AI tag on sight
maaaaan....why? what's the thought process, barring cheap attention? did they think what the AI came up with was sufficiently neat so they decided to post it elsewhere?
it's a weird thing to do imo, especially with fanfic considering its a mostly unpaid (some people takes coms, most do not), self-motivated part of fandom. I write to get better and im very proud when something i spent (a lot of) time and energy on gets a positive reaction from readers. It's a nice feeling that I did a creative, I saw personal growth in that creative, and that people enjoyed that creative. I don't understand posting something I didn't put time and my own thoughts and whackadoo imagination into. What do I get out of that barring attention I would not feel like I deserved in any respect, especially if I tried to pass an AI generated story off as my own?
It's also strange because I've talked to people who've asked chatgpt to make them a poem for dnd or a story to read to their kid like...just do it yourself! Write a poem to make your rp buddies laugh! Make up a story for your kid at bedtime that they'll think back on fondly when they're older! It doesnt have to be perfect, but by god just use your own damn imagination for five seconds! You might find a new hobby out of it.
I dunno. I hate this. The current trend with AI is bullshit and I refuse to engage with it. (especially the art side of things, because instead of commissioning artists, people would rather plug a prompt into a program and parade that around and that's HORSEHOCKEY)
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scorchedshitbag · 2 years
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Tag how many mutuals you want to ask these 33 questions to
tagged by @bluegriptape !
1).Name and nickname: Emma, n some call me Em
2).meaning of your tumblr username: I wanted somthn new that wasnt linked to any of my other social media names and was reminded of the thing where people leave flaming poop bags at someones door. Idk!
3).What is one dream you have yet to accomplish?: Id like to make a career out of my art but i just dont know where to start really
4).What accomplishment are you most proud of?: its all mainly little personal things which are probably lame to the majority so idk
5).What is the craziest thing you’ve ever done and would you do it again?: Bush doof was pretty lit ngl
6).What type of music are you into?: a bit of anything!
7).What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done?: got yelled at by a teacher in front of my class because the only gap i could find to walk through where our class was at the time was where she was talking to someone n she told me i was rude. I was like 9 🤡
8).What’s the one thing that people always misunderstand about you?: Probably something to do with my social anxiety making me seem rude but who knows
9).If a genie granted you 3 wishes right now, what would you wish for?: Better personal motivation, more time to enjoy things as opposed to working, n for people overall to stop being greedy
10).If you had superpowers, which one would you have and why?: invisibility so i can be left alone in public lmao
11).What is the strongest animal you could win against with just your bare hands and feet?: probably a mongoose. They look weak
12).What is your strongest qualities?: I am kind i guess ?? I just want people around me to feel at ease
13).What’s the best advice a family member gave you growing up?: man ion kno i just got told to not be anxious skjdjs
14).if you could have an one night stand with anybody who would it be? ..it could even be an mutual if you like or celebrity: back atcha @bluegriptape
15).Ethnicity & Nationality and do you take pride in it?: i know a bunch of my family history comes from Ireland but thats a few gens back n ive never been outside of Australia. Pride in it??? Idk i dont really care all that much it’s alright
16).hobbies or talents: Art even tho i am just in mad creative burnout lately
17).what is your fashion style: Anything with jeans and a beanie
18).What do most people overestimate or underestimate about you?: i wouldnt have a fuckin clue honestly
19)..are you an lover or fighter: i am full of love !!!!! But will fight if necessary!!!
20).If someone narrated your life, who would you want to be the narrator?: ofc im obsessed with aaron pauls voice so
21).What problem are you currently grappling with?: Burnout:) lack of motivation:) capitalism:)
22).What’s your favourite physical attribute about yourself?: uhhhh h im pretty neutral to my image honestly. My? Face is ok? I can put lines on it to make it look cooler?
23).What hobby/talent have you always wanted to develop?: Guitar/music knowledge
24).What’s the certain product you couldn’t live without?: Sunscreen. My ass is pale
25).what is one thing you would change about yourself: Remove the predisposition to depression from my family Thanke
26).What personality traits did you get from your parents?: Socially awkward like my dad, caring like my mum?? I spose
27).Which one do you prefer: being controlled or be in control?: as i have come to learn IN CONTROL cause cant leave shit up to anyone else
28).What are your phobias?: Not necessarily phobic but im terrified of spiders n being kidnapped
29).What qualities do you want in a partner who will be with you for the rest of your life?: Genuine kindness and willingness to have quality time n understand the need for alone time
30).Who is your role model in life?: i look up to my friends a lot, moreso than anyone with some kind of following
31).What are the things that drive you crazy?: Grind culture, the weird people who act like working full time is a fulfilling way to live life
32).Do you plan to have kids?: The concept of being pals with your own kid is dope but. World is a fuck and childbirth mortifies me
33).Would you rather visit your ancestors in the past or meet your descendants in the future?: I dont really want either it honestly doesn’t matter
Idk who to tag so! Do it if you wanna
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itssleepyrabbit · 3 years
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hi! wow i super love your art and i don’t have enough dabihawks in my life 🥺 was wondering if you had any fic recs for them?? 💕💕
aah thank you so much!! 💕💕 💕💕
BOY IF I DO HAVE!! alright buckle up this might get long (most are fluff and SFW~ i’ll put a NSFW warning but be sure to look at tags in all of them!!)
Bed I made (lie in it with me) by  silverwordswrites
“Touya is in desperate need of a plus-one for his brother's wedding and Keigo is infinitely curious about the man who he was sure used to hate him in college.” 
-- the summary says everything and honestly it’s one of the most romatics dabihawks fics i’ve read.
On-going
He Doesn't Love Me by  Fatally
“Dabi doesn't love him. He's accepted that thorny truth, swallowed it down and let briars grow in his chest, drinking down his blood like water.Or: The one in which Hawks settles for pining for his entire life and doesn't realize Dabi's been staring at him the entire time, too.” 
-- I love pinning Hawks with a burning passion.
Completed
sweetheart, is that you? by  fuckendeavor666
“dabi and hawks say i love you (without actually saying i love you) in five different ways.“ 
-- This is my absolute fave dabihawks fic
Completed
Deck the Halls With Boughs of Folly by  DrAphra
“In which the League has acquired a new fancy mansion -with all the heating and food and plush beds they could possibly need - but they still prefer to spend the day out in the wilderness with just each other. Plus Hawks.“ 
-- Honestly all Aphra’s dabihawks fics are more than worth it but this one has a special place on my heart.
Completed
fuck, im so young - orphaned
“Todoroki Touya writes poems.
Words upon words of heartfelt confessions, letters of sing song fantasies, syllables of feelings he never got to say out loud.
When Todoroki Touya hits sixteen, he burns himself to death.
When Dabi hits twenty four-
He meets Hawks.” 
-- i don’t know how to explain but this fic it’s pretty
Completed
Feathers and Feelings by  Toboe1087
“Hawks keeps leaving feathers on his pillow, and Dabi's about had it.
(like hell he'd let anyone else have them, though)”
-- Dabi preening Hawks feathers is a blessing
Complete
(this is not a) swan song by  bittermoons
“"Who's your favorite, then?"
"Hawks." Touya doesn't miss a beat. "Definitely Hawks."
"What? Seriously? How come?"
"He has his flaws, but at the end of the day, he's trying to do good. It's something he always strives for. Dabi, on the other hand...if it weren't for Hawks, he wouldn't be a hero, that's for sure."
[Or: How a secret is revealed, and what comes afterwards.]”
-- Adorable no quirks AU with manga artist Touya and oblivious Keigo! Another author i adore pretty much all dabihawks works.
Completed
You can't trap the sky in a bottle by thyandra
“Letting Toga organize the accommodations for their trip might have been a mistake. This particular truth becomes obvious to Keigo as he opens the door of his hotel room for the first time. There, staring back at him mockingly, is a single, king-sized bed. It’s only by virtue of all the years spent perfecting his poker face around his adoptive parents, that he manages to keep his face straight. At his side, Touya clicks his tongue. “They must’ve given us the wrong key.””
--(no quirks AU) I really love they way Dabi and Hawks are written here i can’t express it in words and so so much pinning
Completed
A Tale as Old as Time by  EloFromMars, Gotcocomilk
“Dabi and Hawks are hit by the most improbable Quirk: both are yeeted in Fairytales land and have to rely on each other to get out of this.“
-- this was such a fun read omg
Completed
A Romance Written All Over Your Body by  minatsukinoamayo
//NSFW mind the tags!//
“Hawks is assigned to infiltrate the League of Villains in order to expose them. Hawks usually never fails a mission, but Keigo usually never falls in love, either.A story of how Hawks falls from grace to become a villain, because hero society has failed them all.
OR
5 times they're not in a relationship and 1 time they are.“
-- you know those fics you say “one more chapter” and it’s 3AM
Completed
it caught spark in your eyes by  youareoldfatherwilliam
//Mature - Implied Sexual Content//
“Keigo’s quirk is powerful, but sometimes it comes with unintended side effects.
Or: A 5 + 1 fic of five times the more…instinctively bird-like parts of Keigo’s quirk took over accidentally during his relationship with Dabi, and one time it happened entirely on purpose.“
-- I was screaming about this particular fic on twt the other day pls give it a read if you can it’s so so so good! Any fic that has Hawks with bird traits has a special place on my heart
Completed
The Others by  threesipsmore
//Mature - 2 sexual scenes, nothing too explicit but they’re there//
“"Skeptic's starting to think he’s more important than me,” Toga sneers, an acidic edge to her voice. “Making decisions on his own, sending out birdie without even talking to me first.”
She’d simply acquiesced to cooperating with Skeptic, but from day one the complaints had never stopped. In this tiny room layered with sushi and cakes, Dabi was forced to listen to her whining.”
-- You go birb, you get that man
Completed
Equivalent Exchange by  inexchangeforyoursoul
“Keigo blinks the blurry oblivion away from his eyes, although some part of it is oddly stubborn and to stay indefinitely. There's three things he's certain of: first, he’s alive. Second, just by looking at the bed and windows he can tell this is no villain hospital or torture room. Third: something feels wrong. Very wrong.
The silence… is deafening.
xxx
To obtain, something of equal value must be lost.
If so, what of a bird that has lost its wings?”
-- i had so many feelings reading i can’t physically explain them to you also PINK HAIR DABI PINK HAIR DABI
Completed
dabi's 5-step guide to being a better parent than endeavor by  twinkfrankenstein (orphan_account)
“A little voice inside his head whispered spitefully about how this was no place for a child, and how he was making a mistake and would only traumatize the kid, yada yada. He responded with an equally spiteful-
“Fuck off, its not like I planned to do arson today.”
(or: how Dabi becomes a good dad just to spite his own, realizes he kinda sorta maybe likes Hawks for realsies, begrudgingly admits the League cares and finally comes to terms with his protective side. Not in that order.)“
-- this legit made me laught out loud idk what else tell you
Completed
The Todoroki In-Laws by  aphrodaisyacs
“Over 10 years after the fight against the Paranormal Liberation Front, Rumi, aka the part-time hero Miruko and the proud wife of one Todoroki Fuyumi, decides it would be an awesome idea to create a groupchat with the significant others of the other Todoroki siblings.
Maybe things would be easier if its members weren’t two Pro Heroes, a former one and a rehabilitated villain, but…Honestly, where’s the fun in that?”
-- this is not dabihawks focused but it’s so funny pls
Completed
With Being Petty Comes Consequences by  CursedUndead
“"When we were saying fuck pro heroes, I didn't think you literally meant FUCK them," Tomura grumbles, kicking over an empty beer can.
"Pretty judgmental for someone fucking a pro twice their age," Touya says.
Tomura squints, and says, "Ten years is not twice my age."
Or, after spending Enji's money, Touya is forced to babysit for the number 2 hero to pay him back. Touya makes it his life's mission to fuck his new boss.”
-- this only has 4 chapters but i know it’s going to be one of my faves
On-going
The Truth series by  AmethystUnarmed
-- Hawks gets hit with a truth quirk and starts to be actually free by the power of love, friendship and a bit of crime <3
The last entry is on-going
and if we sit and count it up it's really not a lot by  sincerelysamedt
“Hawks finds a bento box in his messenger bag and almost cries.
"Is that a loving wife bento?"“
-- please PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD READ THIS ONE /sobbing noises/
Completed
steal your heart by  darlingest
//Mature//
“When infamous thief Hawks announces that he is going to steal the heart of Endeavor's son, everyone expects him to prey on Shoto Todoroki - nobody suspects Touya to be the actual target.“
-- Villain Hawks and civilian Dabi are my guilty pleasure and this one it’s so soft too i’m- djsahfdjkfhadf
Completed
darling, thank god it’s this universe we’re in (and you can annoy me as much as you please) by  juurensha
“ Todoroki Rei divorces Endeavor and moves all four of her children into a small apartment next to a boy with wings as red as the hair of her eldest son. “
-- This was one of the first dabihawks fics i ever read and, to this day, i come back to it when i feel i need the extra burst in happy feelings and check their other works too! Honestly all are such a good fucking read
Completed
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ninacarstairss · 3 years
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PARABATAI WEEK — day 6, underrated/fanon parabatai @carstairgray
i’m broken, torn apart, shattered and a couple more adjectives because of tftsa and it falls perfectly on the parabatai week so here are some simon x george parabatai headcanon
they place their parabatai runes on the back of their shoulders to symbolize they’ll always have each other’s back.
after the ceremony they go back to the new york institute and the rest of the gang surprises them with a party to celebrate.
simon places a stuffed rat on george’s bed before he shows him his new room, in memory of their days at the academy. the rat also has a tiny collar with “jon cartwright xxxv” engraved on it.
george jumps on the nearest chair when he sees it and his academy nightmares come back to him as simon is doubled over laughing near the door.
once the initial fear of having to deal with rats even at the institute passes, george keeps the stuffed animal and he adores it, it reminds him of their time at the academy, how he and simon met and became the brothers they are now.
they start having training sessions with jace and alec and they always end up on the ground with jace and alec triumphant over them but they put up quite a fight when fighting together.
they also like to train a lot with izzy and clary but that works way less for their skills because izzy and simon end up making out somewhere when one of them pins the other on the floor and clary and george just leave the room and go get a coffee before they can see something they won’t be able to forget. alec still talks about his nightmares regarding the time he walked in on simon and izzy in idris.
george gets to know the gang better and they all love him, but simon is especially happy when he notices him bonding a lot with izzy and clary and when he sees alec starting to trust him fully. jace ends up telling george so many stories about the first time he met simon and how he was when he first entered the shadow world, including the being-turned-into-a-rat part — george’s favorite ever since the academy — and that’s when simon knows jace really likes him too.
simon keeps schooling george in pop culture, movies, comics and the history of his band when he was a mundane and he drags george around the city in all the best places to find comics and the best film. soon enough george is making star wars references on a daily basis. though, he’ll never stop mocking simon about all the names his band went through, especially when he reveals the ones he though about during the academy that had to do with rats and other weird creatures, or grey eggs.
george often leaves to visit his family in scotland and he always takes simon with him. his parents love him and they always welcome him as a son. george couldn’t be happier and simon feels at home. he misses seeing his family every day, but he learned that for every loss there’s something to gain and this new part of a home is his own new piece of happiness.
once, though, the whole gang tagged along. george talked about the green fields and the sheep of scotland so much that they wanted to see for themselves. it’s a wild vacation and, between a hike and a tour of the nearby cities, jace gets not-so-gracefully swept off his feet by a running sheep and it’s a sight they’ll never forget or let him live down.
they have annual dinners with the group for the academy. no matter how far they’re all located from each other, they get a portal and meet in idris at least once a year and visit the muddy fields where scarsbury had them running and doing push-ups for as long as it took to kill them. beatriz and julie have also become a great pair of parabatai and jon manages not to be too obnoxious for one night a year.
simon also schooled george in the art of eating take out every day for basically all meals and told him to gently refuse every single thing that leaves the pan when it’s izzy cooking as soon as he stepped foot into the institute. surprisingly enough izzy and george find in each other some really horrible cooks who get along a lot and think they cook fantastic food while burning half the kitchen every single time they get close to a burner. simon’s desperate and he’s most likely going to loose his eyebrows in a kitchen fire soon enough. or worse, he might actually have to eat the stuff they cook one of these days. (credits to @icycoolslushie for the idea on this one)
when sizzy get married simon chooses george to be his suggenes and george cries his eyes out because his brother is so grown up and he’s getting married
once clary and simon convince the gang to celebrate halloween and they organize a halloween party at the institute for all their friends. george is the first to agree and he’s so excited. he and simon are planning matching costumes and decide to go as avatar characters — but with more covering clothes on, simon is stoic about this and george agrees it’s probably best not to risk finding themselves in the middle of a fight with a halloween night demon wearing only that little cloth around their hips — and they also kick it up a notch by dying their hair blue. except that they buy the wrong kind of dye and when the next day they wash their hair to get the colour off, it doesn’t go away. izzy and clary have to fix their mess with brown dye.
they are those friend that always do the craziest things you see on the internet and end up with the most aesthetic photos, like george in the middle of a parking lot with flashing lights surrounding him, sitting in a shopping cart and laughing, or simon naturally posing with his bow and arrow in front of a fantastic landscape and they become snapchat famous for these pics. izzy, alec and jace are pretty confused by this snapchat famous thing.
when simon moved in at the institute after the academy he installed a playstation in his room and most nights george is there with him, playing at 3am with snacks of all kinds surrounding them. izzy joins too sometimes but she’s not great at those games and has smashed a couple of joysticks after loosing multiple times, while clary kicks both their asses when she pops in for a game.
one night george entered simon’s room for a 3am game and instead found him with izzy, both of them half naked and in the middle of some sort of role play where izzy was calling simon “lord montgomery”. he never lets simon live that down and brings the name up in the most inappropriate moments — such as clave meetings — making simon choke on air every time. after that, though, george is very careful to knock.
simon’s pansexual and he’s a little afraid to come out to george at first, but he soon realizes he knows george and he wouldn’t turn his back on him, he wouldn’t leave. so when he does tell him he’s shaking slightly but he’s also happy and george clearly is too, he scoops simon into a tight hug and tells him he’s incredibly proud of him and reassures him he loves him no matter what, they’re brothers no matter what.
they’re not big on celebrations of birthdays or mundane holidays in general, but they do like to keep the traditions alive. both of them have been raised with no knowledge of the shadow world and they were observant of some religious and mundane holidays that shadowhunter don’t celebrate. so they like getting christmas gifts for everyone or organize parties for new year’s. they celebrate hanukah too and share other little traditions from their childhoods, like george’s family tradition of sheep’s wool-covered sweets and chocolates to find instead of eggs for easter or simon’s family tradition of taking a two day trip around spring to see the changing season and enjoy some free time, even if the trip is to the nearest town. they’re small traditions sometimes, but they like to keep the memories alive.
george becomes really good with max after that first encounter and the offer of raising him in his and simon’s drawer. he and simon often volunteer to babysit him, and rafe too afterwards, and they obviously use as bedtime stories the plot of star wars or comics, which the kids absolutely love.
sometimes when he’s stressed or tired george goes full on scottish and also switches to gaelic at times and simon is just there looking at him, torn between wanting to giggle at his usually contained behavior now unchecked and wanting to hug him and confort him. he always goes with the second, but he does love to hear george speak gaelic.
after the time at the academy when george was leading the mission to go after the faerie fruit vendors where simon got sucked into faerie he’s incredibly protective of simon in battle — or just all the time, actually. he’s thrown himself in front of simon more times than simon can count and he loves this kind of care, because of course he does the same whenever george is in danger, but it also makes him sad a lot because he knows george still feels guilty about that mission, even if nothing bad really happened, and he would do anything to make sure nothing similar ever happened again.
tag list @cordaisya @im-not-ruined-im-ruination @surrounded-by-exquisite-clutter @stxr-thxif @icycoolslushie @writeforjordelia @gabtapia @fair-childd @clarys-heosphoros @shadowhuntingdemigod (let me know if you want to be added or removed)
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mrs-nate-humphrey · 3 years
Note
I am curious: what are your favorite scenes from your main ships (date, dair, derena...)?
scenes involving milo don't count, sorry!
for me, it's really not just scenes, but body language & just in general, how they are with each other, you know? dan and serena grin at each other and hug SO much, you can tell that being around each other in s1 made them both so happy, and even after that glow fades the way they look for comfort in each other... top level stuff. the way blair looks at dan... we never see her as radiant at any other point. she was not looking at anyone else like this. and gosh, dan and nate. they're both so comfortable around each other that there's absolutely nothing weird about like. discussing that one ex girlfriend whom they both share AND both were in love with. there is literally no other duo who trusts/enjoys each other's company so much that they're comfortable in a love triangle. (probably because they're more in love with each other than with the girl, but that is not the point. or is it?)
anyway, more specific answers. under the cut. this is one of the longest answers i've ever written on this blog possibly but you KNEW that would happen when you sent this ask, didn't you? (affectionate)
derena: i tagged one of my ds reblogs as 'the grumpy one is soft for the sunshine one' and like. look at them! this hug from 1x10 kills me in the best way. they are both the literal embodiment of :D when they see each other! i love 1x10 as a whole moment, their entire thing at cotillion is so sweet and they're both so happy. the fact that he is talking about his chemistry teacher during this kiss in 1x07. that bit at the end of 1x05 when they talk about their siblings (being there for their sibling because of fallible parents being a derena parallel makes me simultaneously really sad and really soft, tbh). 1x05 gives me SO MUCH SECONDHAND EMBARRASSMENT but the way they walk off together arms around each other does something to me - these are two people who are still getting to know each other but who really like what they see, and who trust each other and. are just having a good time together! back when derena was my OTP, the 1x11 "your story's about me?" was absolutely a fave, too, and i still adore it, albeit in a different, more nostalgic way. i like a dan who writes cute stories about serena. no empty shell sabrina van skoneker bullshit. she is so much like you, daniel! you'd be shattered if she did this to you. don't do this to her. tbh, most derena moments from s1 are just A+ romance. the bit in 2x02 in the jitney is so funny, they're SO bad at being exes. the bit in... 3x03 i think?? i don't remember... on the contrary. when they're talking about dan's fling w/ georgina and serena's relationship with carter, the ease with which they talk and how happy/supportive they are of each other's new relationships... yeah. love to see it.
i also really like any instance of them having honest/open conversations. 1x13, talking about how serena is concerned about blair. 1x08, serena talking to dan about feeling jealous of vanessa. this bit from the touch of eva or whatever that episode is. 4x04 i think. this is the conversation everyone is trying to get dan to have and he's avoiding EVERYONE else. derena interactions in 3x21 (can't find a gif right now) - the fact that dan is with serena when her dad abandons them, the fact that he goes all the way there with her. 2x07, "i'm really glad you're nate's friend. he really needs someone like you right now" (though i'm cheating, that's technically a d/n moment too klhdflkgf). there's a bit in s4 where he's advising her against having an affair w/ colin, i don't remember the ep number, but the way he takes her side so easily and naturally and puts due blame/responsibility solely on her professor... yeah. 4x10 i think this ep is?? idk. but like my tags say, im sentimental about this moment because while what dan was doing was irresponsible, sneaking her out of the ostroff, he was the only person in this episode who was actually talking to her and listening to her and taking her seriously. nobody else was doing that!!
i probably have more moments i'm not remembering, but we're only 1/3 into this answer and LOOK AT THE WORDS, good lord, i'm sorry.
dair: my favourite dair episode is hands down despicable b (5x21) which i have heard is an uncommon answer. i just love the conflict resolution of it all, okay!!! 1x04 & 2x08 are like. standard answers any dair shipper will give, and i'm no different. i love dan being able to give blair advice and blair actually taking his advice even though they're not friends yet!!! be right back, yelling at the intimacy of it all!! 5x16, with their getting together (this little kiss and dan being so startled by it), blair admitting a flaw she genuinely does have and dan saying it's not awful because it's her, which is just. romance at its finest. those vows, good lord. 5x18.... they're having fun! blair showing up at the loft in lingerie for dan... the delight on her face.... (i know this moment blows up in their face but when she's there she looks so happy and proud of herself and this was like THE moment when i was like. oh. dair is really the heart of this garbage show huh).
i think for me, the thing that really sells dan & blair together is the serena of it all. both of them love serena more fiercely than anyone else, and that is what brings them together. (fwiw i definitely think nate loved serena this much and this deeply, too; the writers just wanted to pop the serenate balloon, which even i think was extremely unnecessary and ooc.) but (& i have so much meta about this) their relationship grows beyond serena. their entire s4 arc is SO good. i love how comfortable around each other they are, in such an adult way, in the sense of like. they both bring so much stability to each other? morgan tagged this edit "the marrieds" and like. yeah. b offers to help him shave. they're having breakfast & reading the paper together.
all the love declarations we got that weren't a simple 'i love you.' be your charming wonderful self (how could she not love you/ tell me what would make you happy, dan) i told chuck he doesn't have my heart anymore (you spent your life earning the keys to set you free when you were free all along!!!!) dan's pep talk to blair in 5x21 (already linked a gifset earlier, here's another one if you want i guess). there's definitely more... but honestly, the way the dair arc was executed was so good - while i do have my complaints, i also think keeping those aside, it was SO close to perfect. i love dan & blair's banter and gradually becoming closer and closer and closer. it felt very organic and real and GOSH. the way penn & leighton looked at each other while playing dan and blair...... it's just SO MUCH.
date: this is the hardest, because it's. *screams*. maybe you saw me losing my mind over those 2 seconds of nate handing dan a waffle? i love almost every scene with these two, even the hellish s6 breakup scene. my favourite episode for d/n (& also favourite gg episode in general) is 2x06 - i love the homoerotic subtext of it all. nate pretending to be dan because dan's name is the first name that came to his head. dan flirting w/ nate while tied to that thing, in his underwear. them becoming friends. and 2x07 as a follow-up to that! dan getting nate to live in the loft with the humphreys for a while. i am so soft.
4x09 is a terrible episode in general, especially for serena my beloved, but the d/n moments in that one? off the CHARTS. this weird overly macho flirting, in some ways THE most iconic d/n line. this entire finish each other's sentences nonsense. someone (i think it was ana but im not sure?) compared the energy of those scenes i just linked to the book blairenate love triangle resolution, blairena choosing each other over nate in the books, date choosing each other over serena in the show (if only! RIP.) after the saints & sinners ball, this cute little moment of 'youre the only one who understands me. please tell me they went home together. i mean. how could they not have.
3x07, them watching vampire porn together. a tag i used on ao3 (& also on here, once) is 'nate brings out the himbo in dan'. here is a prime example. 'is she levitating?' i don't fucking know, dan, what do you think?? (i was telling my partner that that's what i love abt dair vs date. around blair dan is an intellectual, a librarian, an art historian, a museum curator. around nate it's like dan is competing to be #1 himbo on the show. can my girlfriend actually fly? i don't know, dan. i can't believe you're seriously asking such a question.)
3x12 pep talk. (sorry about the shitty quality!) essentially nate telling dan that he (dan) is hot and that he shouldn't talk himself down so much.
dan making nate gay in his book. you know. his book from which blair found out he was in love with her. nads (who i will not tag in this billion word long gushy meta, because i value her sanity) once called inside "wish fulfilment' and. i mean. yeah
nate checking dan out at the derena wedding continues to be hilarious. hilarious in the same way as dan sexually fantasising about nate. canon really went 'let's give ivy some special easter eggs' and i appreciate them a lot!
i love the way they are around each other - so quietly attuned to each other. i showed my sister my date!husbands gifset, and she was like. yeah they're so married. and it's just stuff like how dan looks for nate over his shoulder, it's not even an active action, it's as easy and natural and intuitive as breathing, checking to see if nate is still there.
oh, that wasn't as hard as it could've been! okay. cool. im SURE there's more things i could scream about, because it's DN, the fact that they're non-canon makes me THAT much fiercer about them than dair/derena, to be honest. so many dots to connect!! anyway.
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Tell Me You Hate Me
Summary:   Story contains some intense intrusive thoughts, please mind the tags. Remus always has episodes where his emotions seem to completely shut down, leaving nothing but thoughts pounding in his skull begging for a reaction. When he finally breaks down, Logan is there to hold him together.
Warnings: intrusive thought, implied self bruising, depictions of violence and death, hurt with comfort, mild swearing
Ships: Logan x Remus, Intrulogical
WC: 3, 602
General Taglist: (ask to be tagged generally or in specific writing.) @im-an-anxious-wreck
Remus huffed as he flopped over to his other side yet again, kicking his feet out from underneath them and burying his face into his pillow. Finding it still too hot he quickly picked his head up and flipped the pillow to the cooler side, flopping face first this time as he fought to quiet his groan. Squeezing his eyes shut tight did nothing unfortunately and neither did leaving indents in his palms from his fingernails. Flopping over onto his back he tried taking deep, calming breaths- something Virgil had said sometimes helped them sleep- but he gave up after a few minutes. Shadows from the corners of his room licked at the edge of the safety of his bed and a spike of anxiety in his chest forced his feet back under the covers. A stupid false sense of security that died along with the anxiety as quickly as it had made itself known. The dull buzz of his fan did nothing to drown the ringing in his ears and he wiggled a bit to get the sheets unstuck from his back as his newest position began to get uncomfortable.
He closed his eyes again and sighed deeply before throwing the blankets to the floor and hurrying to the light switch to flick it on. Eyes still shut he stumbled into the hallway running his hand along the wall for a sense of direction wanting nothing more but a spike of caffeine to jump start the day. He left the kitchen light off since he didn't actually know how early it was and didn't want to wake Logan, instead holding his hand out and shuffling forward until his toe stubbed the bottom of the cabinets. Swearing he placed his hands on the counter and felt around until he found the coffee pot, finally deciding to open his eyes to the dim room so he didn't end up smashing the pot and getting glass in his feet...again. Filling it with water and grounds was simple enough, the routine so ingrained he had to force himself to actually concentrate on the action instead of drifting off into his own head again.
Briefly he thought about wedging his head under the spout and letting the freshly brewed coffee flow down his throat but he decided he liked the new creamer they had gotten too much to attempt that this time. Idly picking at his fingertips while he waited he glanced out the window of the shared apartment and wondered how hard it would be to climb down the building from there. Realistically he could do it- just squat in the sink and back up as carefully as he could to find footholds and balance. The thought of neighbors seeing a random ass sticking out of a window, wiggling as he got into a better position brought a flicker of a grin to his face, but the thought of then someone calling the police to report a break-in and the subsequential argument hed most likely have with Logan over his reasoning it had seemed like a good idea made him dismiss the thought immediately. Things were already on the rockier side with his husband, he didn't need something else making him regret he had ever proposed to Remus.
Things weren't at all bad in their marriage, new as it was and with as small of a space they shared. Remus just went through moods- quiet ones where he was mostly lost in his head and didn't want to make things tense by finding his way out of it. Moods where everything was exhausting, even engaging in activities with someone he loved more than anything else in the world seemed dull and tiring. He'd never tell Logan that, never even think about hurting him that badly, but sometimes he got so tired it was all he could do to get out of bed. And now his emotions were broken again and that certainly didn't help anything.
It didn't happen often, but every once in a while for whatever reason his brain had thought of, he couldn't feel anything. Not even sadness. Smiles were hard, crying was harder, brief spikes of anxiety died before he could think about them and anger or irritation which he usually relied on in these states were so far away he couldn't even think of what to do to make them appear. His world was dull and heavy and numb, pressing in from all sides in a way that would have been overwhelming if he could care to put any name to it. Instead he grew quiet, filing away thoughts and feelings to deal with when he could actually grasp them. Logan noticed; of course he did he noticed everything. Usually all Remus really needed was space and a little time to get his bearings. He would stay in bed a lot, even if he didn't manage to sleep, and watch youtube videos at random for hours on end until Logan came in with water or food or a reminder to get up and stretch. Remus would get up stiffly and stretch for a moment, maybe go to the bathroom, eat, drink and then go right back to curl as tight as he could under the blankets to blankly stare at the screen. He'd hear a soft sigh and feel fingers run gently through his tangled hair before the door would shut once again and he'd be left alone to his nothing and cold and numb and thoughts.
The thoughts were the worst even if he didn’t attach anything to them. Constant and intrusive and violent as they were they didn't even make him afraid anymore. It often seemed, in whatever fucked up process his brain had made up, that if his emotions shut down the intrusive thoughts needed to step up to compensate. Usually nothing more than a suggestive buzz in the background he had long ago learned to simply brush off they became a battering ram against the inside of his skull that he had to actively reason his way through to stop the twitch in his muscles. Boiling water for tea became sticking his hands in his pocket so he didn't stick it in the pan to watch burn and stick to the bottom, flesh pulling like hot cheese until it snapped away from his muscles and left his blood to be boiled by the heat. The want to tip his chair back became his teeth frigging as a graphic image of his head cracked open like an egg and leaking through the carpet presented itself to him like a proud child with macaroni art. A constant barrage of images and impulses that left him exhausted rather than disturbed and made him simply want to sleep them all away, which of course was when the insomnia kicked in and left him making coffee at- his eyes snapped to the oven clock and he sighed tiredly- 4:30 on the morning.
Thanking whatever gods were real it was a Saturday morning he brought down a mug and filled it with coffee and an obscene amount of creamer, chugging it in seconds and ignoring the sickly sweet taste before getting a refill and shambling to the couch to turn on the news. The news always had something going on lately and he was hoping it would be enough to distract from the thoughts of smashing his head through the glass coffee table or making another pot of coffee to chug through. Granted the latter was the better option of the two should he make it a choice but he knew his limit with caffeine and wasn't keen on his heart thumping in his chest throughout the day when he had no energy to do anything with the fake adrenaline rush.
"Remus?" The man winced as he heard Logan's sleepy voice in the hallway and turned to see him walking to the couch, face pinched in concern. "Are you alright? It's nearly five in the morning."
Running his dry tongue over even drier lips Remus nodded. "I uh- I was gonna go on a run today. Get out of the house you know- and I thought an early start might be good."
Logan studied his face carefully, though thankfully not seeming to notice the deep bruises under his eyes in the shifting light of the tv. Remus offered a weak smile and gripped his mug tighter, firmly dismissing the thought to smash it over Logan's head while Logan stepped back and nodded tiredly.
"I'm going to sleep for a bit longer. Please be careful Remus, I love you."
"Love you too, Logan." Remus turned away before he could see any more puty in Logan's eyes, anger licking up from his stomach but he simply clutched his mug to dissipate it before it could take hold, not that it really could. He listened as the footsteps died and the others door was shut, bringing the mug up and chugging the rest of it. Groaning slightly he realized he'd actually have to go out now, he couldn't lie to Logan anymore than he already had. Screwing his mouth to one side he decided biking would be easier. More chances to simply coast and he could wear his headphones without risk of his phone bouncing out of his pocket. Figuring he may as well go now rather than wait, since if he did he was sure he'd simply go back to curl up in bed, he quickly tidied up the kitchen and went to throw some clothes and a helmet on. Tugging his bike out of the hall closet he found himself on the street without quite remembering how he'd gotten there but in the end he supposed it didn't matter. This early in the morning there was virtually no one on the sidewalks giving him ample space to go as fast as he wanted down the hill. Hed ride back up the hill on his way back so he'd get some actual exercise to make up for just coasting for about a quarter mile later.
The wind was on his face before he even registered he had started heartbeat picking up slightly as the buildings on his right began to whip past faster and faster. He contemplated breaking a bit to slow down but his thoughts suddenly demanding he do a hard break, making him flip over the handlebars and skid into the road made him dismiss it quickly. Hed slow down eventually and he was fine for now. The streets were quiet and dark, the air was cool but the wind was so cold it felt like needles against his face. He probably should have worn at least a jacket from the way his arms were going numb but dismissing it was so much easier than thinking about how tiring it would be to turn around, go all the way back to his building, back up the stairs and into his room to get a jacket and gloves- and by that time he'd just went to stay in bed anyway since that would be closer so there really wasn't any point. The fold felt nice, it as waking him up along with the coffee and his heart was thumping loudly in his ears drowning out any thoughts that might slip through and his hands were gripping the handle bars so tight his cold knuckles were a stark white-
Instinct swerved his bike and slammed the breaks before he even noticed the truck speeding down the road. The driver didn't even acknowledge him as his hands slipped off the handle bars and his vision grew spotty. The sudden panic felt distant, dull and unimportant even as his breathing sped up and a thought rose up that told him he could have died: images of his cold body splayed in front of a sideways truck slammed it's way through to the front of his mind, blood pooled around the driver’s feet as his panicked voice called for help. Distantly Logan's screams could be heard as footsteps ran to his unresponsive body and everything was simply white and static and cold. The sound of another car's horn snapped him back to himself suddenly, looking around in confusion as he saw how light it had gotten and the quiet streets now coming to life with people Getting off night shift or waking up for their morning shift or running to coffee shops. His sweat soaked hands were nearly frozen on the handlebars and when he tried moving his legs he felt like he was trying to tread through a thick vat of glue that threatened to pull him down and under the second he decided to stop fighting. 
As much as he wanted nothing more than to collapse and hope something on his bike punctured a lung on the way down though he simply turned and started back up the hill towards home. He didn’t know how long he had been standing on the sidewalk but he judged it to have been an hour at least with how bright  the sky was now. Hopefully Lgan hadn’t worried too much, the thought bringing a wave of guilt that nearly drove him to his knees with the fierceness with which it crashed onto him but just like with everything else it disappeared almost as quickly as it decided to present itself and Remus was left to simply stare blankly at the concrete before him as his stiff legs took him to Logan step by mind numbing step. He just had to make it to Logan. Logan would know what to do, what to say; Remus knew all he ever had to do was ask. Logan was getting better at asking whenever he needed help so the least Remus could do was show that same courtesy.
 But then- what if he didn’t understand? What if he couldn’t? What if he thought Remus was just crazy or having a mental break or because he couldn’t feel things sometimes Logan thought that meant he didn’t love him anymore? What if he decided to leave? What if he left and Remus was alone with only his thoughts and the cold and-
“Remus?” He snapped his head up at Logan’s voice, a quick brush of panic curling around him as he saw that he was back in the apartment with again no recollection of walking the rest of the way up the block and up the stairs and through the door. Logan was looking at him, that same pitying concern wrinkling his face as he stood in front of Remus with a mug of black coffee held tightly in one hand while the other reached out to him gently. And Remus, with the overwhelming feeling of nothing, nothing, nothing and still frantically beating heart with wild eyes full of tears that hadn’t fallen in a week, couldn’t think of what to say to make anything better for either of them. So he did what he did best.
“Tell me you hate me.” The words blurted out with his characteristic impulsiveness as Logan’s eyes blew wide and he only briefly registered his own surprise before the world turned gray again. Of course, the most painful thing for him to hear is what he wanted. No amount of horror movie jump scares or gore, of late night metal blasting at full volume through his ears, pf slamming his fists repeatedly into his thighs until he could barely walk the next day would be as painful as having someone he had cared about more than anyone else for six years now telling him that they hated him. That they couldn’t stand him because he was useless and unfeeling and so, so stupid to even think someone like them could love someone like him. He needed to hear the words he knew Logan was probably itching for permission to say, and now that he had it he could go all out, and maybe then something could get through his constant swirl of thoughts.
“Please I can’t- I’m so numb Logan. I haven’t felt anything in a week I just need- this is your chance to lay it all out.” Logan considered  him carefully before reaching ver and setting his coffee down on the counter and stepping towards him. Gently, so gently it almost hurt, Logan took both of his hands and tugged, walking backward and around until he could sit them both down on the couch. Squeezing his hands slightly he took them away only to place them gently on with side of Remus’ face and hold him as if he was made of fragile porcelain, thumbs caressing his cheekbones in a steady rhythm that had his heart finally calming down and body relaxing into the touch.
“I love you.”
Remus’ breath caught as he locked eyes with his husband, who was simply smiling gently as him with the same loving look he had been giving him for years. Pressure built behind his eyes suddenly and he widened them to keep it at bay, shaking his head in defiance.
“You are safe. Whatever you’re feeling or not feeling is perfectly alright. You are with your husband who cares for you very much in the apartment we’ve shared for four years. You haven’t been sleeping well which may be contributing to your mental distress but that’s okay too because we can work on fixing that. I could never tell you that I hate you.  Love you more than anything, Remus.”
Remus wasn’t sure why that’s what finally broke him, but the flood of emotions that crashed over him barely gave him time to breath before he gasped out a sob and smashed his face into Logan’s chest. Steady arms wrapped around him in a tight, comforting embrace as his legs were brought over his lap, essentially making Logan cardle him like a child but Remus couldn’t bring himself to care as he gasped and shuddered out weeks worth of pent up emotions that he was just now able to feel and it was too much, too much, too much all at once. His hands came up too fist in Logan’s shirt and snot ran freely down his face and his throat began to ache form the noises desperately escaping his throat. This was too much at once, he couldn’t handle this much at once.
But all the way through it Logan rocked them back and forth, hugging him tightly and whispering how much he was loved and cared for and how much better his life was with Remus in it even if he did leave the cabinet doors open and hog the blankets when they shared a bed. Careful fingers carded through his hair as he was told that it was okay to cry, it was okay to not feel anything or to feel everything and Logan would be there regardless. Logan would be there for him through everything Remus needed as long as Remus needed him for. The rocking and whispering didn’t stop until Remus pulled away, a little ashamed and embarrassed with snot covering his face and hiccups preventing him from saying anything but it was okay because Logan only smiled as him and laid a hand on his cheek before getting up and telling him He’d be right back.
It was only a few seconds before he was back with a cool washcloth pressed to his face, carefully wiping his sore, red eyes and rubbing gently as his cheeks and nose. It ws cool and refreshing and instantly Remus felt better than he had in weeks. His wild curls were brushed out of his face and a kiss was pressed to his forehead before Logan made to leave again, making Remus let out a pathetic whine in protest.
“I’m only going to the kitchen to get you water, Remus. Did you want to come with me?”
As ridiculous as it was, he did. So he slipped his hand into Logan’s and followed him out to the small kitchen, watching as he awkwardly poured a glass of water from the fridge one handed and passed it to Remus who downed it in five seconds and handed it back sheepishly. Receiving only an encouraging smile in return the glass was filled once again before he was tugged back into the living room and sat down on the couch. Logan turned to him and squeezed his hand gently. Always so gently and lovingly.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Remus knew they would have to eventually but he was so tired. Not the kind of tired he had been where everything was exhausting and irritating and just on the side of too much, but the kind of bone tired you can only be after having an emotional breakdown in your husband's arms at eight o’clock in the morning after only getting two hours of sleep the night before. So he shook his head, hoping against all odds Logan could read minds and understand.
To Logan’s credit he picked up that it was something best addressed at a later time, simply nodding again and reaching for the remote. “How about a movie instead then? As a distraction?”
Smiling a tired but genuine smile, Remus nodded and curled up into Logan’s side, eyes slipping shut before he could even see what Logan had picked. But that was fine. The volume was low and Logan’s arm came to wrap around Remus’ shoulder as he drifted off peacefully. He was safe and loved and right now, that was all that mattered.
 I promise I write happy things sometimes XD As always, this work is available with other on AO3!
If you like this, please consider reblogging. Sharing works helps creators.
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ellovett · 3 years
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list of people that made this year pretty neat :)
Hi all
Ok so 2020's almost ending (it just ended i started writing this post like....5 days ago??) and i just wanted to do this thing where i have a message towards everyone who supported me/who i think are just very cool and very epic, i only really got into the twst fandom just at the beginning of the year and im just gonna get straight to the point now messages are under the cut :)
@permanentlyexhaustedowl - AYAAAA ;;;;; bro you're literally one of my first long time friends here in the twst community and i just want to thank you for everything, our convos in either public servers or in pms, your love and support for my content,,or whenever i vent to you,,,,,just- your love and support man i appreciate it so much and i cannot thank you enough, you're just so sweet and caring and supportive and friendly just aghhhhhh ;;;;; even your reblogs make me smile uncontrollably and i explode, also all the brainrots i have about my interests ;;; thanks for listening to all of them,,even tho you really didnt have to ;;;;;; I love how we make our twst ocs interact and the little brainrots we have with them ;;; You've helped me so so so much and in so many ways, I am beyond glad that we're bestfriends, you're one of the nicest most caring people ive ever met and i love you so so so much, beyond belief ;; 💕 pls never stop being you?????? You quacking amazing person??????? 😎🤙💖💕💖💕💖💕💖💕💖💕💖💕💖💕💖💕
@shoujoqueensstuff - AYYYY SHOUJOOOO!!! 😎🤙🤙 hhhh you're also one of the first people ive ever had a long time friendship with here in the twst community, and seriously bitch i love you so much ;;; so so much..i cant go a day without talking to you about literally anything and just vibing, the support and love you've given me over these months is insane i cannot thank you enough for that, all of our rps, convos or just pure brainrot have been so much fun, and i fucking love it that we built our own little world outside of canon,,all the aus we built with our ocs???? I love them. I love them all to death, including your amazing ocs, and even tho we live on literally opposite sides of the world you're always there for me whenever i vent or when im feeling extremely down or insecure ;; ,,im just so so so happy and glad that i met you and that we're bestfriends, i care about you so so so so so much- hhhh i cant put it into words my brain is dying i just- i LOVE YOU BIITCH, I AINT NEVER GONNA STOP LOVING YOU, BITCH.😎💖💕💖🤙🤙💕💕💖💕 TAKE MY LOVE BITCH 💕💕💕💕💕 thank you so much for sticking around ;; i love you and support you in everything you do so much I could never ever thank you enough for the friendship you've given me..
I can literally go forever on how much i love and appreciate the both of you, i can just scream into the void for all eternity,,but i cant put it into words anymore. You both made my year so great and so epic ;;; i love you guys so much
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Now the chaddams 😌
@thetwstwildcard - hi ma :D you're just so cool and so epic lizz ;;; i cant- all of our conversations and brainrots have been super fun and i enjoy your company very much;;; you are just so nice and friendly,, and your ocs (especially staff ocs) are god tier amazing, i will love the nrc mom squad to death. I am honored to be ur child and i love you and father claude (and my four (?) other dads you married) very much 💕💕💕
@alpyssketch - bringer of father claude,,,,i owe you my life alpy,,,,,,but no seriously you're also a very epic person and you're honestly so nice and sweet!!! You never fail to make me feel welcome in any conversation and you're just so damn friendly!!! We may not talk that often but I very much enjoy your company ;;; ily!!! 💖💖💖
@multi-ankin - another very cool and epic person!!!! you're very fun to talk to and you're also pretty funny in the vc fjfjfj, your ocs are all so amazing too! (djdjjd although my staff oc bias makes me go for kas) we should totally talk and make our ocs interact more in the future tho!!!!!! 💖💖
@just-patchy - pATCHYYY!!!! :D hi!!!! you're also a very cool person!! our interactions have been so much fun and i hope we can have more in the future ;;; the ideas you have for your ocs and how you put them into writing is so good!!! like really good!!! And your art has been greatly improving too!!! Never ever think that i dont see you as a friend because i do!! 😤😤💖💖 i care about you bro!! Never forget that!!
@bakujho - :D hi jho!! you're a lot of fun! And I THINK YOU ARE SO DAMN COOL AND BADASS it's unbelievable,,i look up to you jho i wish i could be almost as cool as you when i grow up ;;; the things you've done for this fandom are also very admirable! like the whole gravedigging (jellyfish) situation! But we're not gonna talk about it now- hhhhh you're just so epic jho ;;; seriously 💗💗
@Kurui - hhhhh you're probably not gonna see this ;;; and i cant find your tumblr (if any of the other chaddams could possibly show this to her thatd be so great ;;;) but nonetheless i still think you're just so fun and cursed ;;; and you give so many amazing ideas!!! Your ocs are all also so cool too! Your art is just so detailed you clearly put a lot of thought into them i just admire that sm ;; (also your edits are extremely cursed and epic i love them dearly-)
@twst-the-royals - JULIE :))) HELLO,,,you were actually the first ever person i spoke/interacted with in the fandom! And you were just so nice and friendly and patient with me ;;; im glad that i got to talk to you,,and we dont really talk that much now but pls pls PLEASE know that i care about you so much and that i support you in everything you do ;;; 💖💖💗💖 ill do my best to make you proud!!
@girl-in-the-tower - hey Az!!! ;;;; you're so epic and cool,,honestly i admire you so much, the lore/writing you have for your ocs/fanschools are just so well thought out and so well written ;;; i hope to become a better writer like you in the future, but for now ill just take notes and learn from you ;; you're super encouraging and supportive too!!! I know we dont talk much but i could never thank you enough for all those little yet meaningful moments ;;; 💖💖
@rikanoctrix and @mirrored-pomefiore - hi!!! i know we arent that close but just know that you two are huge inspirations for me when it comes to art, the both of you draw your styles so incredibly well and i admire that so so so much ;;; 💖
@ocean-water-tea - FATHER TEAAAAA QAQ okay so first of all,,,,how can you draw so well using ibispaint, i ask for tips, specifically on how to draw hair and tits 🤲 but seriously though you are so fun to talk to!!! So cursed!!! So ☊⊑⏃⍜⏁⟟☊!!! You encourage me to my true cryptid self (despite aya's protests 👀) and i thank you kindly,,,you are also very funny 😌 a funny little clown simp, and you're super friendly and cheerful too! I almost never feel nervous when reaching out to you ;;; I hope we can have more wacky adventures in the future 💖💖
@zonamemoryverse - HEYYY ZONAAA!!! you're a fairly new person and you've already come so far ;;; you're a very chaotic person to talk to and i enjoy all of our conversations!!! Also our interactions with our ocs were super fun too, and i love hearing any shred of content i can get from ur epic ocs,,,dont stop being epic!!! 💖💖
@namelessfish - Hi fish!!! :DD you've been a very supportive friend to me over these past few months,,and im happy i have someone i can relate my not-so-great experiences with ;;; please know that i care about you dearly and that ily ;; 💖💖💖💖
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@wondersbeyondcompare - JFFJJF BRO DONT THINK I DONT SEE YOU WHENEVER YOU REBLOG MY CRINGY ASS POSTS 👁👁 I SEE THEM AND I CHERISH THEM ALL I REREAD THEM ON SAD DAYS. All the little tags and comments you put on them always make me smile so hard ;;; im just very happy to know that you like whatever the hell im doing and it pushes me to do more!! You're incredibly sweet, dont worry!!! Ill be sure to make you proud!!!! 😭💖💖💖
@circuscarnage - Anna!!!! We dont talk that often but whenever we do it's always so much fun ;;; you're so sweet and i appreciate you so much ;; all the stuff you drew for my ocs are all so incredibly cute and i really have to give back- jUST YOU WAIT ANNA. IM GONNA MAKE FANART OF YOUR LOVELY OCS AND YOU CANT STOP ME- 💖💖💖💖
@twistedapple - hi crow!! :DD again we dont really talk that much but i support you greatly in everything you do!!! You're another epic and cool writer ;;; your writings for your ocs are just sooooo well written and are just so good!! You're also super good at art too!! And i hope to see more from you in the future!!! ;;; 💖💖💖💖
@not-twst-enough - Ellie!!!! ;;; bro you've been supporting me from the very start, from lillet's old ass bio to now, and i very much appreciate it!!!! You're also super friendly in the twst server too ;;; and all the content you have for your ocs is just so exciting! Good luck with the fandorm and all future stuff ;;; ily!!!! 💖💖💖
@fumikomiyasaki - FUMI. DONT THINK I DIDNT FORGET YOU DKDKDK,,,Another cool and amazing person!!! All our brainrots and conversations have been really fun ;;;; thank u for that,, You are very fun person to interact ocs with tho!!! Especially with ships!! MadScientist² will forever hold a place in my heart.,,,💖💖💖
@oiseaunoir11 - hey Al!! :) you were one of the many people i admired and looked up to when i first joined the fandom, your art is something im deeply inspired by and your shitposts at like...4 am in the morning always give me the big funny,,one thing i really admire about ur art tho is how you'd draw backgrounds :0 you've gotten so good at them!! And your poses look super natural and effortless, i hope to be almost of a better artist like you 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♂️ also i cant wait to see ur animatics 👀 they look dope- hope we can talk or maybe even interact ocs more! 💖💖
@leonasbitties - luuuu :))) hiiii,,,we dont usually talk on servers that often but that doesnt mean that i dont consider you as a friend! You have a lot of super cool ideas for ocs and your art is just getting better and better and better with each piece!!!! i look forward to seeing more from you ;;; 💖💖💖
@peteza-mozzarella - PETEEE :DDD another very cool and friendly person, you're literally the sweetest person ive ever talked to and i love our little chats!!! Hhhh you're just super nice and your ocs are super cute,,please never stop being you you epic bean ;;;; 💖💖💖💖
@the27th - Hi Andhra!!!!! You've been quite the long time mutual,,and your reblogs always make my day ;;; you're just so sweet and kind and i always feel at ease when talking to you, the hunger games sessions you host are always super fun even though im often asleep to even participate 😂 thank you sm for the love and support ;;; ill be sure to give them all back to you 💖💖 starting now 💗💗💗💗💗
@mamushroomoracorn - MAMUSH :DD we've only really started talking recently but you're just so nice and friendly ;;;; all of our talks have been so wholesome and great and im so happy about that, and your art is really really really good!! Ur art style is just so unique and so cool!!! ;;;; and dw mamush,, ill show the froggies like i promised soon 😔💖💖💖
@rookvonhunt - HEYYYY 👉😎👉 hi hello i would die for your ocs. If theyd ask me to perish then i will 200%,,ur so epic and cool and all of your ocs are just god-tier, i cant wait for what else you have to offer!!!! 💖💖
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@lawlessofdusk - lawless ;;;; aaaaa honestly you're just so kind and sweet, i couldnt thank you enough for all the love and support you've given me!!! And i desperately need more content of ur ocs bc they're all so cool and interesting 😤😤😤💖💖💖 i hope to talk to you more soon!!!!
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Fkfjfjfj i think that's all!! Id like to thank you all for sticking around with me with my first year in the fandom ;;; you guys make all the bullshit and drama here worth it 💖💖💖
If i forgot to include you in here then PLEASE DM ME I AM SO SORRY-!!!! I dont want to leave anyone behind!!! So please feel free to confront me about it ;;; happy new year everyone!!!!
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bringingglory · 3 years
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thank you so much for the tags @hanamuri @fullmetalscullyy @megthemighty @nightofnyx8 @tsaritsa !
How many works do you have on AO3? 11! some are botw, one is tdiapt, some are fma, and some are haikyuu! i mostly just write for whatever im interested in at the moment/whichever fandom inspiration strikes for
What's your total AO3 word count? 101,939
What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Keep Your Friends Closer But Your Enemies Closer - T: ahhhh my miraculous ladybug fic! ive literally been working on her for FOREVER and i swear to god im going to finish it, i literally know how i want to end it and i know all the events leading up to it. hell, i even have a vague idea of what i want to happen in the middle, i just need to know what order the middle stuff happens in and also i just have to write it. It's an AU where Ladybug and Chat Noir are actually enemies but then Chat Noir accidentally befriends Marinette and then drama etc etc etc.
rain - G: first zelink fic babey! set Pre-Calamity and basically link and zelda get stuck in a cave because of the rain and there's just a lot of quiet pining, etc etc.
Your Friendly Neighborhood Oikawa - T: HAHAHA this was a crack fic inspired by my roommate but then i forgot it was supposed to be a crack fic while writing it and there are accidentally real emotions alkjdfalksdf but anyway it was very fun to write lmao. it was based off this meme and basically it's an AU where Oikawa is Spider-Man and Iwaizumi doesn't know but they still like hang out and stuff. It's a lot of fun, or at least I think it is, haha.
stolen moments - T: first royai fic!!! just a series of "stolen moments" (mic drop) where roy and riza like cant be together but yknow, they try. lots of pining. etc
a secret weapon of sorts - T: 5+1 edwin fic inspired by the Simple People OVA where instead of ed giving winry earrings to get out of trouble, he gives her kisses.
Do you reply to comments, why or why not? Yes! I try really hard to!!! Sometimes I get overwhelmed and I don't respond to comments for a while, but I absolutely do my best to when I remember because I feel like it's my way of saying "thank you" for them reading my fics in the first place, haha.
What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? Uhhhhh, sleepless I guess? But it's more open-ended/not explicitly positive more than anything, though even then I feel like I've got a hint of hope in there. alkjdfhalsdk idk man I just, I can't write *pure* angst, there's gotta be some light, and thus I could never end anything angstily
What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending? LMAO most of my fics??? I guess??? bc despite being an anxious piece of shit, I am an optimist by heart
Do you write crossovers? If so, what's the craziest one you've ever written? When I was younger! Idk, I guess the Rise of the Brave Frozen Tangled Dragons fandom??? if anyone remembers what that is lmao
Have you ever received hate on a fic? Not exactly? Maybe some weird comments on KYFCBYEC but even then, it wasn't that often.
Do you write smut? If so, what kind? No no no no no no no no. I am telling you, I physically cannot write smut. I don't think I actually have the capacity. Absolute fucking kudos to every single smut writer out there bc it truly is an art form capturing that intimacy and emotion and etc, but I literally get flustered from writing mildly detailed kiss scenes. If I ever wrote smut, I would burst into flames on the spot.
Actually lies, I technically wrote smut once, but it was at the request of my roommates and they wanted me to write a crack smut fic of Y/N x our uni's mascot and I wrote that thing in like 3 hours with so many silly memes to keep myself sane (not like other girls, tongues battled for dominance, etc), did not edit it, and because it was so, like, not serious, I was actually able to get through it. But even then, when I wrote "thrusting" I literally had to put my laptop down for 20 minutes.
Have you ever had a fic stolen? Nope!
Have you ever had a fic translated? Not yet! Someone commented on Your Friendly Neighborhood Oikawa and asked if they could translate it and I said yes! They haven't gotten around to it yet, but I would love to see it if they do!
Have you ever co-written a fic before? Not yet!
What’s your all-time favourite ship? Bro it changes day to day. You can't ask me this lmao. The current ship I'm most fixated on is Iwaoi, but I wouldn't say they're my all-time favorite.
What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? I'm not answering this energy. On god, I'm going to finish things. I want to.
What are your writing strengths? uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh very good question lmao. I don't really like thinking about "strengths" in my writing bc who am I to say? akjdslakfjdf idk, instead, I'm just gonna say some things I like/try to do in my writing, which are: conversational prose/having a lot of voice in the narration, I try to add humor wherever I can, and recently I've gotten better and metaphors and describing things bc I picked up writing poetry a year ago!
What are your writing weaknesses? hmmm, a thing I dislike about my writing/the writing process is that I'm slow to publish things and slow to finish things because I'm such a messy first drafter and I also take forever to edit. I would like to uhhhhh get things out faster. Also I tend to repeat myself a lot bc I forget the details of things I write sometimes lmao.
What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? Hmmm, I dunno, I guess I don't have any strong thoughts? The only other language I know is Mandarin but even then, I suck ass at that, so I'll prolly never write dialogue in another language simply bc I like to try to portray things semi-realistically and I don't think I have a good enough grasp on any other language the same way I do in English to produce authentic enough dialogue.
What was the first fandom you wrote for? Fablehaven I guess? But Idk I was in fourth grade an didn't even know what fandom was yet. Rise of the Guardians, maybe?
What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?
AHHHH idk??? maybe hold your hand out in the dark because i really experimented with my writing on that one and im sort of proud of the result, just like the fact that i wanted to try something new and it turned out alright. that or Sunset Wheeling which is an iwaoi fic where they just skate, and like it's prolly one of the most self-indulgent things i've ever written because it's silly and they just. skate. but aljdfalsjd idk i loved it and i churned it out in 6 days and it was a lot of fun lol
ahhh a bunch of people have been tagged already, so sorry if im tagging you again, but for now im just gonna tag @niconiconina @notkorras @thatisadamnfinecupofcoffee @firewoodfigs and anyone else who wants do it!
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gnarf · 3 years
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Gnarf’s 2020
and what a fucking year that was... Anyways, let’s talk about the good things, shall we?
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I made it through 2020 alive and without going insane! Yay! So lets see what else I did. (This is a long post)
In the beginning of 2020 I said I won’t participate in many fests. Only three or something like that. Lets check how that went!
Fests Gnarf participated in: 9
@lockdownfest @lcdrarry @hd-wireless @hpfluff-fest @hd-hurtfest @hd-fan-fair @hd-erised @gameofdrarry in drarropoly @wireless-festive-minifest​
Haha yup, three. Sounds legit. I also wandered off to try if I can art! No worries, I gave that up :D Mad respect to all Artists, arting is exhausting and the progress is too slow for me.
If you really want to check out my attempts, here’s what made its way onto AO3:
Dont Blink! for LCDrarry, it includes the Angels from Doctor Who and was a pain in the arse.
If you knew... was made for H/D Wireless and has the armiest arm i ever saw, very proud of that one. Its also the last thing I made.
Home Sweet Home was also made for H/D Wireless, and the first bigger art piece I tried my hand on.
A muffled groan which is rather explicit and I entirely forgot about making it :D it has a ficlet going with it too.
(I think theres other Art stuff here with the tag #gnarf draws or something)
I reached my yearly goal of writing 100k words once again!
Fics and Ficlets I wrote this year: 20(ish)
Better Side of the Bed (Lock Down Fest, T, 2k)
It was all Malfoy's fault. Harry could be at the Burrow right now, but instead he was trapped in Malfoy's tiny flat. All because that dick couldn't stop bothering him about a stupid life debt he didn't even care about.
Doing What's Best (G, ~800 words)
Lucius looked down at the little bundle currently sleeping in Narcissa's arms and felt terror shoot through his body. A little boy, his hair so white it was nearly invisible. Born only a few hours ago, taking his first breath in the light of the rising sun. Narcissa had whispered a welcome, her eyes wet, her smile bigger than ever. But they both knew, even though temporarily safe, he really wasn't. Draco was born into a world ruled by war. If only it'd end soon.
I better be hallucinating this (T, 3.8k)
After the war Draco Malfoy is sentenced to Azkaban for a really long sentence. Apparently aiding in Dumbledore's death overrules any argument Harry could put up for him. After the trial, as the days pass by, Harry is more and more outraged at the sentence. He can't stop obsessing over the fact that Draco Malfoy saved his life and aided him during the war and is very much capable of redemption. Not to mention that Malfoy has always been a delicate git and would never survive Azkaban. After a few weeks obsessing Harry decides that Malfoy indeed can't remain unjustly in Azkaban and starts to plot a way to break him out of jail and hide him in Grimmauld Place. When Hermione finds out she's not amused. Ron is horrified. Draco still thinks he's hallucinating.
Keep Holding On (Wireless, M. 33.333) A collab with @maesterchill​ who surprised me with lovely art for it!
After the Battle of Hogwarts, Harry and Draco both fall into their own battles with their mental states. Draco is sent to Azkaban, and Harry turns to drinking, hoping to forget. Months later, Harry visits St Mungo’s new ward on the request of a friend, only to find Draco in a deep vegetative state. Not willing to give him up, Harry stays by his side, while simultaneously dealing with the Ministry's newest grand idea to make everything worse. Making new allies, and losing old ones along the way, will hopefully be worth it in the end.
Age is just a number (Fluff Fest, T, 1.5k)
Married for decades, their life is perfect. Until Harry gets a call and hears the following words: "Mr Potter, we caught your husband stealing ten large packs of King Sized condoms."
There was still hope (Hurt Fest, M, 3.1k)
Draco winced as pain shot through his leg with every step. This secret, back-alley laboratory had been his last chance, last hope, to find the potion. But nobody had it in stock, and there was no time left to brew it himself. Panic was slowly overtaking his entire mind as he crept out of the store and back to the nearest alley to Apparate back home. He already felt off, and it was still early in the day. Of course this thestral-shit had to happen to him, of all people. As if life wasn't bad enough for him already.
Desire (E, 1.7k)
"Auror Potter, what a pleasant surprise to meet you here. What can I do for you?" "Stop the show, Malfoy. There's no one around, and I'm not here as an Auror." Draco watched Potter move closer until they were nearly nose to nose, only the small counter of his shop kept Potter at distance. Potter's eyes were dark with something Draco couldn't exactly name, his face was flushed and the air surrounding him felt somehow static. Draco felt the urge to lean further over his counter, to drink in his sight, to touch the man on the other side—but he didn't.
Drarropoly 2020 currently holds 7 ficlets and is in a Series. The highest rating is Mature and its 3.2k in total at this point.
Let's not wait for France (Fan Fair, T, 17.7k)
All Harry had wanted from his Eighth year at Hogwarts was a little peace and a little privacy but, from the moment that he stepped onto Platform 9 3/4, it was obvious that nothing was ever going to be that easy. An accidental bond with Malfoy that resulted in them having to stay together at all times was the final straw. Things couldn't be worse. So much to a quiet year in Hogwarts.
Love letters for the oblivious (Mini Wireless, T, 716 words)
Draco had gotten the strangest letters all week long, which wasn't what anyone needed at Christmas. Especially not him. Either someone was taking the piss, or he had a very dumb and inefficient secret admirer. And Draco didn't know which would be worse.
Double-Booked (Mini Wireless, T, 2.1k)
Finally, peace and quiet, and— "Malfoy?!?" Or the one where Harry thought he could enjoy a quiet Christmas far from everyone, just to find out that the cabin he had booked already accommodated another guest.
The best Christmas he ever had (Mini WirelessT, 1.9k)
Christmas had never been less appealing to him than this year. That was until Arthur Weasley showed up at his door, dressed as Santa, inviting him to the Burrow.
Anon Fests to be added
Whoever made it to this point: yoooo! Friend! Lots of love to you! I also got tagged in many get to know me posts, plenty of love in my Inbox giving me love slaps left and right (honestly, im bruised, stop slapping me), amazing person awards, top 5 fics, and whatever you can think of.
To make up for not answering most of them because I’m a horrible person:
My favourite colour: purple My age: I’ll be 30 next year in April, I expect gifts, I don’t accept first borns My favourite trope: eight year My favourite animal: cat My favourite ice cream: Ben and Jerry’s Cookie Dough Here’s my writing Playlist, it’s the worst you’ll ever see, and yes, I use YouTube, I’m old.
Other things that happened in 2020 that made me happy:
I kicked out my mentally/emotionally abusive partner of 7 years in January
I kept my grandma alive through this *waves hand at world*
I was able to share my birthday cake with my family becaus I got to leave my first quarantine a few days before my birthday
I got to keep my job
I found a lot of lovely friends in this fandom, and got to keep them through this year
My cats are their usual little jerks and actually enjoyed me being at home due to the raging pandemic
I finally cut off my hair
I’m about to hit 3.5k followers here and I love you all
I’m also tagging everyone who sees this and wants to do something similiar! Show us what you did in 2020, the things you’re proud of, and the things you loved! Let’s spread some happy for the end of the year 💜🥰
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blissfulparker · 4 years
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A little more permanent—Tattooartist!Tom
pairings:tattooartist!tom x innocent!reader   Summary: one night you decide to tattoo tom instead of him tattooing you.  Warnings: some sexual themes A/n: this is not a direct part 2 of tattooed heart but it is a spin off of it. I was never going to make this into a series but just little parts that tie together here and there. I hope you enjoy!! also I know I haven't been doing taglists and im sorry! if you want to be tagged in my works send me an ask! and thank you so much to the anon that suggested this title!
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You lay on the dark leather couch of the shop that smells like bleach. The sound of buzzing a rock music fills the place and you wait for tom to be done.
It was what your Sunday’s started to look like, at around 6:30 you would make your way down to the shop to pick up tom. He would often times close up so you were stuck here finishing up some homework, reading up on a book, or even just laying there scrolling through your phone.
It was interesting to see the people come in and out anyways, watch what each person is getting and seeing their reactions, you could see why Tom adores his job so much.
“Alright baby, I’m almost done you wanna head to my room?” He’s taking off his gloves and throwing them into the nearest bin.
You nod closing up your bag as you follow him into his office. You sit down in the tattoo chair and wait for him to clean up. You look over and see a framed picture of the two of you at the beach last month. His arms are wrapped around you and he’s planting a kiss on your cheek, Tessa is in the background and you’ve got the biggest smile. 
“Someone asked me if that was my wife today.” He pointed to the picture you were staring at. He’s got his signature cheeky grin as he wipes down the counter.
“Oh yeah? What’d you say?” You already know his answer but want to hear his cheeky response.
“I told him, ‘yeah and that was our honeymoon’.” He says and you let out a soft laugh. You notice how the gun was still not put away and you almost let your fingers run over it. “You want one real quick?” He asks and you shake your head.
“No, I just—what if I did one on you?” You ask him and he’s thought about it, he’s thought about it a lot. The thought of you holding the gun and the thought of you looking so focused as you marked up his skin. He’s lying if he says he’s not turned on by the thought.
“On me?” He asked and you nodded. You sit up and the way you sit causes your skirt to rise up a little more showing some more of your thigh.
“I-I mean ive never done it and-actually it’s stupid pretend I didn’t say anything.” You set the gun back down and go back to how you were sitting before.
“No, no,” he comes over to you throwing the Clorox wipe in the trash. “What were you thinking about?” He moves your legs up to rest them on his thigh as he sits down.
You sit up and grab onto his shoulder for balance. He looks at you with soft eyes, his mouth slightly agape because he wants you to lean in for a kiss but instead he moves his head to kiss the fingers rested on his shoulder.
“C’mon, tell me.” He holds your face and you look down at his fingers.
“I dunno, thought maybe we could do something cute together? I know how much you hate matching tattoos when couples come in to get them and you think they’re stupid but like it wouldn’t be matching it would be more like...more like tattoos that remind us of one another you know?” You spill all your thoughts and he looks at you in shock that you thought all this.
“Like I said! It’s stupid! I know I know!” You flop back onto the chair and he shakes his head as he crawls on top of you. He grabs your hands holding them gently as he presses a soft kiss to your chin.
“I think it’s a beautiful idea.” He kisses again this time on your neck. “Should I get a heart like you?” He let’s go of your right hand and moves it to where your first tattoo is, his work of art is.
“Up to you.” You move your head back to give him more acess and he kisses once again but chuckling on your collarbone making you shiver.
“Up to me? Darling this is your idea, where do you want it?” He argues and you look over at his hand, his left hand, his ring finger naked as could be. If he ever wanted to cover the tattoo up with a ring he could, he didn’t have any tattoos on his hand anyways and you loved his hands.
“Your finger.” You spoke and he looked up. His lips red from kissing you and his hair stopped tickling your chin. “Your left ring finger.” You tell him and he looks over at his finger. The reason he didn’t do his hands because he knew it’d fade faster and he didn’t really have any ideas for a hand tattoo.
“My finger?” He looks up at you nervous as could be. “My marriage finger?” He smirks and you nod. He knew your little plan, your innocent, loving, but slightly dirty plan.
“Mmh,” you nod and sit up. He sits up as well and is face with you. “You don’t have any tattoos there.” You tap your fingers against his hand as they’re being held.
“I guess I don’t.” He kisses your neck one more time before letting go of your hand and moving to the gun. Pulling out a fresh new needle to be used.
“R-Right now?” You sit up and he looks at the clock.
“It’s my shop, it’s closed, yeah.” He assembles the gun and opens up a new set of ink. He goes over to make the sketch and applies it to his finger.
“Tom, if you don’t wanna go through with this it’s okay. Honestly I won’t be offended if you don’t wanna-“ you start and he comes over and takes your spot on the chair.
“I do want to though. I only hate couple tattoos because most of the couples that come in I know they won’t be together in a year. Most of them are yes like us, young, in love, blinded by each other, but I also can just tell they won’t be together by the end of this year. Most of the tattoos they want are ugly anyways.” He shrugs and you laugh a little.
“Hey, I saw a couple leave once with a lock and key tattoo. I thought that was cute.” You told him and he lets out a ‘pff’ noise.
“Yeah, if they didn’t get so much shading it would be cute.” Tom flicks on the gun to test it and it makes you jump. “Are you sure you wanna go though with this?” He asks seeing how scared you are.
“Yeah, it was my idea.” You carefully take the gun from him and he now instructs you on what to do next.
“Okay, okay, wipe down the skin.” Tom instructs you as you carefully grab a cleaning wipe. Wiping down the dry skin with a cold wipe already made tom sink into the chair.
“When was your last tat?” You asked him realizing he hadn’t gotten one since you two been together.
“Before we started dating? Like November before we started dating. It’s of the rose.” He reminded you of the rose on his chest that looks angelic. The rose that you loved kissing over and leaving scratch marks just below.
“I love the rose.” You remind him and he laughs.
“I know you do.” He smirks and moves your hand to rest the gun gently over his skin. “Now, you wanna be careful. Don’t press too hard okay? It can go right through the skin and cause and infection and we don’t want that.” His eyes are serious and you are too.
“Promise to tell me if it hurts you?” You say with all seriousness and he knows that. You’re so sweet to him and it’s almost like you forgot that there’s almost twenty other tattoos on him that hurt way more than his finger.
“I promise.” He leans down and kisses your forehead before you start. “Alright, turn it on.” He tells you and you do so casuing him to flinch a little just at his nerves.
“Now just follow the outline sweetheart.” He instructed you and you do as told. You look up and see him with his eyes closed. That was one thing, Tom could never watch the needle on his own skin, he could only watch the needle on others.
“I’m hurting you!” You announce to him and he shakes his head ‘no’.
“No, you’re not. Keep on going sweets.” He tells you and you cringe as you finish up the tattoo. Seeing his skin redden and how his eyes are closed makes you cringe the hardest you’ve ever had.
You finish up the tattoo, it’s a little bit wider than your heart and definitely a little longer but it’s still adorable and you’re actually proud of yourself.
“I-I’m done.” You look at it with pride. He opens his eyes and looks down and sees the most beautiful tattoo yet. He loves it, he wasn’t going to tell you it was a big messy because he loved it. He loved that you did it, he loved that you thought of it and the only way he would be covering it was with a wedding band.
“It’s beautiful.” He stares at it for a moment and for that first time you got that the feeling tom did after he’s done with with a patient. The feeling of accomplishment and the feeling of pride. “Baby, it’s beautiful.” He leans in for a kiss and you proudly kiss him back.
“You like it?” You smile and he gets up to go patch it up himself.
“It’s the best tattoo I’ve got.” He tells you and then looks over at the clock again. “Let’s get going yeah?” He picks up your bag for you and follows you out of the room shutting off the lights and locking the door behind him. His hand is softly resting on your lower back as you both make your ways out of the the shop.
You grab your keys getting in the car and getting yourself situated. He’s looking at the tattoo still admiring it. Even if you knew it wasn’t the best it was still something that meant a lot to tom.
He reaches over and rests he free and good hand on your thigh. Almost causing you to slam on the breaks feeling his hand on your bare thigh.
“You should tattoo on me more often, darling.” He rubs soft circles with his thumb.
“Oh no, that was just that time. I hurt you.” You pouted and he shook his head.
“No, no,” he kissed your cheek. “I just don’t like watching it done to me. I would’ve told you sweetheart.” He watched you calm down as he told you that.
You reach over when you’re at a stop light for his hand. You take the finger and bring it up to your lips giving it a soft kiss, you make eye contact with tom the whole time when you kiss it causing shivers down his spin. You watch him tremble under your touch until you are interrupted by the sound of the car behind you slamming its horn.
“All better?” You tease like the first time he did your tattoo. You will never forget that night, that cold london night when you were all alone getting your first tattoo. Nervous as hell walking in with the only intent being to impress your friends proving you could be good too. That though, was a year ago. Now you have been with tom for a year and loved every second of it. Moving him with him, starting a life with a boy you never thought you’d meet.
“You’re going to be the death of me.” He breathes out pushing his hair back as he watches you just drive.
Nighttime drives were the best, on the way home especially. Knowing exactly what would be waiting for you when you got home was sometimes what kept tom through his day. Knowing he’d share the large California king with you. And if you didn’t pick him up because you were at home studying away for an exam he would just about always find you half asleep at your desk and would kiss your forehead before picking you up and taking you to bed.
Pulling up to the complex and making your way up to the flat to be greeted by Tessa jumping on the two of you. You reach down to pet the girl before setting your stuff down and tom pushing you into the counter. Heavy with his kisses as he appreciated your lips and body.
“Mmh, easy there.” You remind him and he breaks off and looks at you.
“You can’t just tease me in the car and expect nothing. I’ve missed you all day.” He kissed some more. You were gone longer than you thought, waking up and leaving him to go to church with your mother and then coming back to do some school work. By the time you came home he was already gone at the shop and you’d missed him by only an hour.
“I’ve missed you more but your eyes are tired and you were practically falling asleep before I did your tattoo bubs.” You hold his face and see his red eyes, the curls coming in and hanging down on his face as you held him. He did look tired and he was. He was extremely tired.
He kisses one more time before moving back. You take his hand and take him to be where you knew the two of you would make out more before falling asleep on top of each other.
And so that’s exactly what the two of you did, you stripped down and always just wore an oversized shirt and underwear to sleep and that’s exactly what you did tonight. Tom doing the same as he came out from the bathroom after brushing his teeth.
“Mmh,” he comes into bed and starts attacking your neck with kisses. “I love you.” He reminds you and you shift to face him. Grabbing his hand with the tattoo again and moving to place it on your face, making him hold your face for a moment before moving the hand slowly down to where your heart was, just right below the Breast he touches the tattoo.
Moving your leg to wrap around his you cuddle in closer and he lets his hand drop to rest on your lower back. Pecking a kiss to his cheek as you lay your head against his shoulder mumbling an ‘I love you’ into his chest. He loved when you mumbled into his chest to feel the smal vibrations of your voice.
Your hand going to touch some tattoos one more time before you fall asleep. Touching the dove that flew on his bicep, to depiction of the family crest just below his shoulder. You let your eyes wander to the butterflies and the rose on his chest, the Roman numerals that are for his grandmother and there were empty spaces but he always tells you he’s leaving those spaces for more important things.
“What if we got married?” He spoke into the emptiness of the room. You perked up from his chest just as you were about to sleep you feel your heart pounding.
“What?” You looked at him as if he was just running off the pure tiredness in his voice.
“Married, like a wedding and then maybe some kids? What if we did all of that when you graduate?” He offers and you can’t help but to smile a little have been thinking about this thought before. You go to grab his hand with the fresh heart tattoo and imagine a ring right over it, just as you thought in the first place.
“A wedding? And some kids?” You say in shock but also happiness. He nods taking your hand to kiss.
“Yeah.” He tells you and you nod but fall into his shoulder.
“Let’s talk about this in the morning, keep our excitement for then.” You go back to staring at his tattoos.
Your parents would be furious if this was the man you were marrying, but your brother did almost the same exact thing—that is marrying someone your parents hated. You knew they’d never be truly happy with tom but you were your happiest with tom and you knew he was his happiest with you and you couldn’t wait to share those moments with him.
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hopefullyababe · 2 years
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been tagged by @crit20lesbian!
1. Why did you choose your URL?
when i was 14 and made this blog i had started using the phase "[so-and-so] is a BABE" (which had eventually evolved into calling everything that i liked a babe (this coffeemaker is a babe)). i didnt think very highly of myself at the time- i did not know i was a stone cold Hottie. so when i was coming up with a new blog name i put 'Hopefullyababe' cuz im like. Hopefully a babe. but i dont know!
ive thought abt changing it a couple times but i dont have anything cool lined up. if i come up with a good username i like better i might change it.
2. Any side blogs?
oh quite a few. if you can manage to find my aesthetics blog, my unused homestuck blog, my two url holder blogs, my Very Bad Posts blog, and my unlinked art blog that i rarely use, ill
well. ill be. really embarrased. but you can have like. 4 dollars.
3. How long have you been on Tumblr?
ohhh uhh. on This account its been. ppprobably 3 years?
but i had a sherlock blog back in 2016-17 called For-the-love-of-kittens which i deleted :( i wish eternally that id kept it up so i could see all the shit i reblogged :(
4. Do you have a queue tag?
i do actually! though i dont queue things often :/ its #u r a queue t.
5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?
i wanted to post about sanders sides. and id had a blog before but i never used it as a. like. Actual Blog. i just kinda reblogged without any tags and never interacted with anyone. and i wanted to do more of that. so i made this one for a fresh start.
6. Why did you choose your pfp/icon?
it all started with a breakdown and a picture of a horse i drew during it. i fell in love with his Frightened eyes and his shitty hair. i decided no one could stop me from being a horse. i made him my profile picture. his name is humphrey. hes getting a degree in biochemistry. he practices meditation to deal with the stress of a stem degree. he looks a Leafs. i do a new humphrey whenever i get tired of the old humphrey pfp
7. Why did you choose your header?
i wanted to change it up and do a fall theme! so i made these blobby leafs that fade into the blog color. i like having my headers fade into the blog cuz i think it looks Cool.
8. What’s your post with the most notes?
[this post] about middle aged gay couples in podcasts, and a. close second being [this one] for some reason????? i cant imagine why.
;)
9. How many mutuals do you have?
ohhh let me count
thirteen! very lucky number. love yall alot <3
10. How many followers do you have?
238 followers! love yall a whole lot also <3
11. How many people do you follow?
i follow 97 blogs. i honestly perfer the calmer more empty dash it gets me. makes sure i can see most all the posts.
12. Have you ever made a shit post?
god have i ever
13. How often do you use Tumblr each day?
id say an average of about 4-5 hours off and on? i probably visit it about 4 times a day maybe more
14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?
i had an argument with a troll once when i was having a bad day. im not very proud of it.
15. How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?
i. dont really like them. they make me feel bad and deter me from reblogging the post. cuz i dont want my followers to be guilted into reblogging it too. i mean sometimes ill reblog it if i feel like its important but. it always makes me feel bad and weird no matter if its a good message that needs to be spread. that just my Weird tho.
16. Do you like tag games?
yes! i love being tagged in them and answering questions or doing picrews- theyre very fun!
17. Do you like ask games?
yes!! i do like ask games. i like talking a whole lot and theyre perfect for that.
18. Which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous?
ummm. somehow i ended up with@ mcwebby of tma fame as my tumblr mutual (they are Very Cool) and id consider them pretty tumblr famous. they might disagree tho o-O
OH WAIT NO LEX IS TUMBLR FAMOUS TOO.
19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?
uh. ha. um. ehehe. uh. well. um. ehhe. uh
no
tags! @solareidolon @cherry-pie-bi @trashpremium @milomeepit @purplexiasphinx (no presh yall ;))
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cowboylarries · 3 years
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thanks for tagging me @sunflowrhaz​ !!! this is a long tag game and so i finally learned how to put more under the cut, just for this post! but i had a lot of fun learning about you so i thought i would repay the favor <33
i am tagging some of my new besties @buttfucklarrie @dependsonwhospitching @corneliaswalls @otblou @sryluvidrc and @curly-headed-one but of course, no obligations <3333
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
screenshots
screenshots
screenshots
my lockscreen is one of my favorite pictures of the moon that i got off of twitter and now i feel bad because i can’t credit the artist!! and the last song that i listened to is finder by cyrus reynolds and folial which was in little women. i don’t normally listen to soundtracks of movies but i really really liked this song. and finally harry as a frog is my last saved picture (thank u ana!)
four songs ive heard today
1. colors by black pumas
2. take some time by wilderado
3. ouroboros by family and friends
4. now im in it by haim
seven comfort films
1. cars
2. parent trap (1998)
3. pitch perfect
4. tangled
5. grand budapest hotel
6. the good the bad and the ugly
7. deja vu
get to know me
name/nickname: dillon, dillie, dill, dilby, dee and then basically anything that begins with the letter d (digiorno, dollop, dilbert etc)
star sign: sagittarius
favourite bands/groups: 1D, wilderado, lord huron, the 1975, mumford and sons and most recently haim
favourite solo artists: novo amor, katie pruitt, hozier, clairo, phoebe bridgers, lennon stella
song stuck in my head: leave the door open by silk sonic 
last movie: infinity war
last show: criminal minds
when did I create this blog: the very end of 2012
what do I post about: 1d and my larents plus a lot of art!!
last thing I googled: how to spell digiorno
other blogs: none that are active but i technically have a photography blog that i havent touched since 2017
do I get asks: sometimes! 
why did I choose this url: because i love cowboys
following: 171
followers: enough :)
average hours of sleep: 7-8 (i’m pretty proud of that!)
lucky number: 7!!!
instruments: i used to play piano and violin but i do not anymore
what I am wearing: sweatpants and a tshirt that my college gave me in lieu of a grad ceremony :/
dream job: i do not dream of such things 😩😭 (same lauren!)
dream trip: morocco, italy, peru, zanzibar (i mean basically anywhere out of the us)
favourite food: pad thai!
nationality: from the united states
favourite song: i cannot choose!! i just posted a bunch of song recs so i guess if you are really pressed check out my song rec or music rec tags
last book I read: homegoing by yaa gyasi
three fictional universes you’d like to live in: psshhh i don’t know basically anything other than actual reality?
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thespianbooks · 4 years
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A Court of Nightmares and Starlight //Chapter 6//
(Chapter one) (Chapter two) (Chapter three) (Chapter four) (Chapter five) (Chapter six) (Chapter seven) (Chapter eight) (Chapter nine) (Chapter ten)
(tags: @thron3ofbooks, @df3ndyr, @courtofjurdan, @art-e-mis, @herondamnn, @the-third-me, @im-still-trying-here, @emikadreams, @paytin77, @mis-lil-red)
“Are you absolutely sure it's a boy?” Rhys asked me as we lay entangled in bed, his ear pressed against my bare stomach and his hand splayed just below my navel.
I giggled as I ran my fingers through his raven locks. In the week since I announced my pregnancy, he asked me different versions of the same question. His hands also seemed to have become permanently glued to my stomach; along with his ears and lips. Every chance he had, Rhys would try and get as close to the baby as possible—which I welcomed, absolutely content with how devoted he was. The morning after Starfall, Rhys insisted we visit Madja’s clinic in Velaris—determined to learn anything and everything there was to know about pregnancy and what it would entail for me. The healer happily obliged, and informed us both of what the next eight and a half months would look like. Not only was a high fae pregnancy longer than a human’s, but as with other fae ailments, any symptoms and risks I faced might be amplified.
There were the normal symptoms I was already accustomed to: nausea, vomiting, fatigue, and others I would soon face: backaches, swelling in my hands, face, and feet, and occasional headaches. Hearing about those symptoms didn’t cause any alarm, they were common and unfortunately came hand-in-hand with creating a new life. Madja also said that every female experienced her pregnancy differently; some had severe complications and had to be on strict bed rest, while others hardly experienced anything other than a few minor discomforts. I hoped for the latter of the two.
It was hearing about the risks, which included a small chance of bleeding that could lead to a miscarriage while we were still in an early phase, that made me nervous and caused Rhys to enter in a full-blown defensive mode. Any prior protective behavior he was experiencing before now intensified with his innate need to safeguard me and the baby. Madja assured us that this behavior was expected and normal between mates; with females in such a vulnerable condition, a male’s instinct was always to protect his mate and their offspring. To his credit, Rhys offered a sheepish grin along with an apology in advance. Having already witnessed what he was like after we were freshly mated, and how he managed to reign himself in, I knew most of it was beyond his control.
However, I welcomed some of his coddling after my unpleasant symptoms returned a day after our visit with Madja, and fluctuated throughout the week. The extreme fatigue seemed to be a permanent state I would stay in for the duration of my pregnancy, but I pleaded to the Mother that my nausea spells would soon cease. It was torture being unable to leave my room for periods of time throughout the day. Unfortunately, there was no predicting when the queasiness would hit, so for the time being I would have to bear with it and hope none of the others would notice and wonder why my seemingly mysterious illness still remained.
Rhys and I decided to hold off on revealing the news to our friends and my sisters until we were out of the realm of possibility for a miscarriage. Madja reassured me that the chances were slim and divulged that although it was difficult for high fae to conceive, it was also difficult to lose a pregnancy. In spite of my relief, I didn’t want to take any chances and asked the healer for all recommendations on how to stay as healthy as possible.
So, along with the prenatal herbal teas she initially prescribed, she also ordered that I immediately put a halt to my morning training sessions with Cassian—which Rhys whole-heartedly agreed with, much to my chagrin. As much as I enjoyed being active, however, I knew fainting after only a couple of minutes of basic punching forms was a sign that I should be taking it easier. My body was now working overtime to provide not only for myself, but for a baby that was growing more and more by the day. Instead, Madja suggested I take more time to rest and relax, to allow myself more free time for leisure activities like my painting. Knowing my concerns, and guilt, over becoming stagnant, Rhys promised my duties as High Lady wouldn’t be affected—which left me relieved.
However, as much as my mate knew how capable I was of tending to my regular duties as High Lady, I couldn’t help but be amused at how much he insisted on spoiling me. He now reserved the right to tend to my every want and need; whether I was weary or not, Rhys began to wait on my hand and foot under the guise that since I was carrying his child, he would carry everything else. I appreciated it most whenever I was feeling particularly nauseated or drained, but I drew the line whenever he tried to spoon feed me my meals—I still maintained my irritation for it, no matter how much of a mother hen he was going to be for the duration of my pregnancy. I also valued it on morning’s like today when I had awoken with little to no desire to leave the comforts of our bed—whether it was from my overwhelming fatigue or not.
“Yes, the Bone Carver appeared to me as our firstborn. A miniature version of you,” I answered with a sigh of mock exasperation.
“And you’re sure this mini-me didn’t happen to actually have long hair or maybe more feminine features? It is dark in the prison, afterall, maybe you missed a couple of details,” he tried to reason, raising his head to look at me.
“I showed you what he looked like,” I laughed.
“Ah yes, but I saw through your eyes Feyre darling. So to clarify the vision, I have to rely on the original source. In this case, that’s you,” he said, his grin positively feline.
I grabbed a pillow and smacked him with it as I laughed, “Smartass.”
His grin remained as he braced himself against my stomach playfully, “Careful darling, you’ll hurt the baby,” he teased.
I rolled my eyes and hit him again as he laughed, “It’s a boy. Maybe the next one will be a girl.”
“Next one?” He asked, his violet eyes lit up as they met mine with raised and amused brows.
“We’ll see. Let’s focus on our son first,” I said.
His chuckle reverberated through me as he pressed his ear to my still-flat stomach. Despite no growth progress being made on my pregnant belly, he was obsessed.
“I want him to know I’m here,” Rhys answered before I could ask; double checking to make sure that my mental shields were intact.
“He knows,” I said as I continued to brush my fingers through his hair. “He was calling out to you for weeks before either of us realized he was there.”
During our visit, I had Madja explain the mystery behind the faint glimmer that fluttered between us. The ancient inkling that existed between mates as a confirmation that they had successfully procreated. Rhys was in awe of the information, and hoped the glimmer would remain throughout the months. So far, my little glimmering baby was silent—perhaps reveling in finally being noticed.
“Still, it’s never too early to bond with my son,” he said with a grin as he pressed a chaste kiss to my stomach before subsequently moving from his spot and hovering above me. “Are you feeling well enough to have breakfast with everyone, or shall I bring you breakfast in bed?”
I sighed as I held his arms, lightly tracing the pattern of his tattoos as I debated, “I could honestly sleep for another couple of hours. You should go, let everyone know I’m okay,” I answered.
“I’m beginning to run out of excuses to explain why their High Lady has been so inclined to not leave her room.”
I hesitated, realizing how hard it actually was to keep up the deceit. A part of me knew Mor was suspicious of something already, having guessed Cauldron-knew-what on Starfall. The others I couldn’t even begin to guess what assumptions they made.
“Should we just tell them?” I asked. “I know we wanted to wait a little while longer, but it just doesn’t feel right to keep giving excuse after excuse.”
Rhys nodded in agreement, “I’m pretty sure Cassian and Azriel know something, but they have too much respect for your privacy to pry it out of me.”
I laughed and sighed tiredly, “Do you think they’ll be excited?” I asked.
He smirked, “Well I don’t think they’ll be disappointed.”
I rolled my eyes and pushed him away before sitting up as he chuckled. He caught my wrist carefully before I could get up from the bed, “I think they’ll be more than happy to hear there will soon be a new member of our Inner Circle,” he said.
I smiled, “He’s going to be spoiled, isn’t he?”
“Rotten, my love.” He replied as I laughed.
X
I didn’t realize how nervous I would actually be until we sat down for breakfast. Our morning routine was proceeding as normal—everyone gathering in our grand dining hall, another room I was particularly proud of in the estate. I planned for it to be large enough to fit all of us comfortably, and took extra consideration for the Illyrian brothers and their mighty wings.
I took comfort in seeing everyone in their customary morning moods; Amren and Mor chattering over a new line of jewelry on display at their favorite shop at the Palace of Thread and Jewels, Elain displaying a book of pressed flowers she had been collecting to Azriel—who actually requested to see it the night before, and Nesta keeping a watchful eye on the pair while Cassian engaged her in some kind of boastful conversation. I was actually surprised to see how close they were sitting together without Nesta having a sneer on her face. I tried to remember the last time it was she even looked at him with a sneer at all.
Getting distracted, my love? Rhys asked down the bond.
I glanced at him and took a sip from my glass of orange juice. What, should I just blurt it out while they aren’t paying attention?
Why not?
I paused. Really?
If you don’t, then perhaps I will.
I blinked and opened my mouth to say it, but when the words refused to come out, Rhys grinned mischievously before simply turning in his seat and said, “Feyre darling is pregnant.”
Everyone’s eyes instantly turned to me and I blushed under their collective gaze. There was quiet for little more than two heartbeats before Mor and Elain’s high-pitched squeals met the air and the sounds of chairs scraping the floor filled the room as everyone moved. Mor was the first to reach me as she threw her arms around me in a warm embrace.
“Oh, I knew it, I knew it!” She cheered as she hugged me and my eyes burned as she pulled away, Elain wrapping me in her arms next.
“I can’t believe it, Feyre, you’re going to have a baby!” she exclaimed, and out of the corner of my eye I saw Azriel and Cassian congratulating Rhys with clasps on the shoulder.
I laughed aloud when Cassian wrapped an arm around his shoulder and wrestled him around, “I knew you had it in you Rhysie!” he exclaimed as Azriel nodded his approval.
Just as the shadowsinger turned his attention to me and took a step in my direction to congratulate me, Rhys was out of Cassian’s hold and in his path—blocking him from getting to me with a deadly snarl on his lips.
Cassian barked a laugh and slapped a hand on Rhys’s tense shoulder, “Is this a second version of that mating bond rearing its ugly head?” he taunted.
Before Rhys could turn that snarl towards Cassian, I touched his other shoulder gently in an attempt to calm his feral temper. Almost instantly, he relaxed as his gaze drifted to my stomach and shrugged Cassian’s hand away.
“Madja warned us that this might happen,” I said, “But I’d prefer you two not destroy this room.”
“We can always have it out in the training pit later, Rhysie.” Cassian goaded, cracking his knuckles with a wicked grin.
Rhys squared his shoulders as his hand came to rest on the small of my back, “I’m fine here.”
“A typical male guarding his offspring,” Amren said coolly, and I was grateful for the attempt to lighten the animosity that briefly began to brew. “Congratulations girl. It’s about time our group is graced by a youngling’s presence, it’ll be a welcome change around here.”
“How far along are you?” Nesta asked, and I was surprised to see her standing beside Cassian, not realizing she had made her way over during the hostile interaction with Rhys, instead of attempting to shield Elain.
“Almost three months now,” I answered, my hand coming to rest on my flat stomach. “I found out the day before Starfall.”
“Aha! I told you!” Mor cheered as she turned to Cassian and Azriel.
Cassian swore under his breath and Az dipped his head in acknowledgement, and I balked. “What’re you talking about?”
“We all made a bet on how long it would take for you guys to announce it. I gave it a week, Cass bet two, and Az bet you would be half-way along before you told us. Which means I won!” Mor sang excitedly.
“I lost the minute his darkness over here didn’t shout it from the rooftop after you told him,” Amren revealed nonchalantly, motioning to Rhys.
“Wait, you all knew?” I asked, bewildered.
“Are you kidding? I smelled it on you the minute we came back from the mountains,” Cassian admitted, “I’m surprised Rhys didn’t, with him being your mate and all.”
“To be fair, a part of me did know, but until Feyre was fully aware herself, I wasn’t going to raise any suspicion,” Rhys said nonchalantly, and I could feel his attempt to tame his preternatural instincts in order to avoid giving into Cassian’s baiting.
“So, this wasn’t really news then?” I asked, unable to hide my disappointment.
“It was for me,” Elain interjected, grabbing my hands gently with a smile, “I had no idea, and I’m so happy Feyre.”
“I didn’t know either,” Nesta added, and I was astonished to see a formal look of support on her lovely face.
Elain embraced me again as my eyes burned. They were all happy for us, and as Amren mentioned earlier, a baby would soon be welcomed by everyone here. I tried not to let the tears fall as I imagined my son being held in each of their arms. I sniffed as I stepped back from Elain’s arms and blinked in surprise when I saw Amren, Mor, Azriel and Cassian standing together before me and bowed with their hands over their hearts—just as they had done years ago after Rhys and I were newly mated.
“Our vow of service and protection is extended to the child you carry; our future High Lord of the Night Court.” Mor explained before I could question them.
“Or the future High Lady,” Cassian said with a wink.
I glanced at Rhys as he slid his hand back onto the small of my back, and without the need to communicate through the bond we knew we would keep that revelation a secret.
“This is normally a tradition sworn to the High Lord, but seeing as you are our High Lady, and the one who is actually doing all the work, we pledge our vow to you and your child.” Amren continued.
My heart tightened and my face flushed as they all stood as one, their hands still on their hearts. I captured the image in my mind, imagining what colors of paint I would need later and the exact canvas I would use to commemorate this moment forever. Sworn protectors of the Night.
“Thank you,” I said, my voice still thick with the unshed tears.
Mor grinned and came up to envelop me in another hug, “Your emotions are going to be all over the place now! You don’t have to worry about holding back, we all understand,” she crooned and I laughed with a sob.
“I’ll admit, I’ve never really been around pregnant females outside of the ones in the Illyrian camps, but I’m willing to learn,” Cassian reassured.
“We all are,” Azriel added.
I sniffed and wiped at the few tears that escaped, “I guess we’re all experiencing this for the first time,” I said.
“I’ve at least held a baby before,” Mor said proudly.
“Before it burst into tears and reached back for its mother,” Rhys remarked with a smirk, earning a glare from the golden-haired beauty.
“Hey, I’ve held a baby before,” Cassian defended. “You forget, I’ve taught younglings how to fly. Sometimes that required holding them when they cried.”
“Your idea of holding a youngling included patting them on the back until they calmed and tossing them, sometimes in mid-air,” Azriel smoothly cut in.
“That happened once, and it was an accident!” Cassian barked.
“So, you dropped a baby in mid-air?” Mor asked.
Elain gasped in horror at the thought, causing Amren to burst out laughing and Nesta rolled her eyes as Cassian fumbled over his words to try and defend his actions. I squeezed Rhys’s hand as my heart swelled and his eyes met mine with an easy grin, his free hand coming to rest on my stomach—happy to finally be able to do so in front of everyone. I returned his grin when that familiar glimmer fluttered excitedly beneath his touch, our son happy and no doubt feeling right at home with his family.
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