#But like... this scene is really when it hits Josh! from the moment he asks if Zach's afraid of him now like... there's a shift. although

[callmebrycelee]

9-1-1 REACTION

This week’s episode marks the 100th episode for 9-1-1 and it is a total banger! I figured nothing could get better than Bobby and Athena trapped inside an upside-down cruise ship, but this week’s episode walked up to the bar and said, “hold my beer”. If you’re reading this, you know exactly why this episode is truly *that girl* and I promise you we’re gonna talk about those last 4 minutes and 23 seconds that had us collectively clutching our pearls, pillows, and pets and left us with nary a hair on our scalps. We’ve got a lot of ground to cover so let’s not waste another second. This reaction is for the season 7, fourth episode “Buck, Bothered and Bewildered” which originally aired April 4, 2024. The episode was written by Andrew Meyers and Bradley Michael Marques and directed by actor turned directed Chad Lowe. Spoilers ahead!

“She has anthrax! Or glitter.” – Bachelor Producer, to everyone

We start things off at the Bachelor mansion where we see real-life runner up of season 20 of The Bachelorette and star of season 28 of The Bachelor, Joey Graziadei. I have never seen an episode of The Bachelor, but I have watched the first two seasons of VH1’s Flavor of Love so I’m quite familiar with the concept of a bunch of women competing for the affections of one man. The opening to this episode does a great job of parodying the hit ABC dating and relationship reality television series while also being respectful. After all, the show and it’s many spin-offs are beloved by many, including 9-1-1 viewers. 

We see a handful of hopeful contestants pull up to the mansion in limos, each of them providing a cheesy introduction very reminiscent of RuPaul’s Drag Race and the Real Housewives. I love that two of the contestants are named Ashley because of course there would be two Ashleys cast in the same season of a show like this. My favorite contestant, however, is Ashley A., a flight attendant who looks like she just stepped out of the one-season wonder Pan Am starring Christina Ricci, a pre-Barbie Margot Robbie, and Mike Vogel. Now that I think about it, wasn’t Pam Am an ABC show?

The last contestant arrives with a bottle of glue and introduces herself as Conchata. Joey is all of us and asks her about her name because for those of you who haven’t seen the episode, this woman is the whitest shade of pale and is the last person I expect to have the name Conchata. The producers (played by Jamie Denbo and Rique) scramble behind the scenes trying to find out who this woman is because she is definitely not Conchata. The contestant comes clean about who she really is and introduces herself (again) as Bailey, an aesthetician from Sheboygan, Wisconsin. She takes the bottle of glue and pours it all over the cobblestone driveway. She then lies flat on the driveway in attempt to glue herself to the surface. Our two producers attempt to remove her, but her skin has adhered to whatever glue she poured on the ground. 

Cue title card.

“I love dalmatians.” – Ashley C., Bachelor contestant, to Evan Buckley and Eddie Diaz

Our favorite 911 dispatch, Maddie, gets a call from the season 5 bachelor and host of The Bachelor, Jesse Palmer. We learn Maddie and Josh (played by Bryan Safi) are uber fans of the show and I cracked up when Josh commandeered the phone call and started grilling Jesse about the new bachelor. Maddie deploys the 118 to the Bachelor mansion and it’s heavily insinuated the location of this particular emergency is outside of the area the department usually responds to. Way to keep it professional, you guys!

The 118 arrive on the scene and Chimney and Hen attend to Bailey (played by Sarah Fletcher). Chimney sees Joey and he is awestruck. I can totally see he and Maddie piling up on the living room sofa after they’ve put Jee-Yun to bed to watch The Bachelor. There’s a funny moment where the other contestants flirt heavily with Eddie and Buck. Eddie tells them he’s taken but points to Buck and says that he is single. Buck tells them he has a rule about not dating people he meets on calls which is hilarious considering he nearly got fired in the first episode of the series for taking one of the firetrucks to a booty call with a woman he saved. 

Eddie and Buck breakout the jackhammer to cut away the piece of driveway Bailey is stuck to so she can be transported to the nearest hospital. Meanwhile, Chimney answers a FaceTime call from Maddie and Josh who want to know the identity of the latest bachelor. Chimney flips the camera around and tries to be sneaky about filming Joey, but he gets caught. He ducks behind the limo Bailey pulled up in and sees another woman passed out in the backseat. We learn this is the real Conchata and she has been chloroformed by Bailey. Speaking of Bailey, as she is loaded into the ambulance, she yells for Joey to visit her in prison. Yeah, I don’t think Joey Graziadei is going to be visiting you, Bailey.

“That night was the most fun I’ve had since getting struck by lightning.” – Evan Buckley, to Tommy Kinard

We next head over to Air Operations One which I’ve learned is a part of the Los Angeles Fire Department. Tommy Kinard (played by Lou Ferrigno Jr.), our former 118 firefighter turned helicopter pilot, is giving Buck a tour of the unit. I got so excited seeing these two share a scene together because it’s no secret that Buck is my favorite character on the show, and I really like how they’re brought Tommy back into the show this season. Buck is in awe of everything Tommy’s telling him, but the latter believes he has ulterior motives for being there. He asks if Buck is thinking about changing career paths. Buck tells him that he really got a thrill flying in the middle of a hurricane to save Bobby and Athena. It’s the most fun he’s had since getting struck by lightning. 

Buck asks Tommy what got him into flying. Tommy tells him that he used to be a pilot in the Army. Buck lights up and tells Tommy that Eddie was in the Army, too. Tommy already knows this. Buck then tells Tommy that he met his ex (Taylor) responding to a helicopter crash and then realizes in that moment that maybe that was a sign of things to come. Tommy agrees that saving someone’s life and dating them never turns out the way you want it to. Upon second (and third) viewing of this episode, I find it interesting how the both of them are ambiguous about the genders of the people they are speaking about. Buck could’ve mentioned Taylor by name, but he chose to just say ex instead. Now back to the topic at hand, Buck says he isn’t sure if he’d want to leave where he is now to pursue being a pilot and Tommy assures him he can do both which seems to be the thesis of this episode. Tommy offers to teach Buck how to fly for fun. Buck offers to buy him a beer and Tommy says he’d love that. Again, how did I not pick up on the subtle flirtation the first time I saw this episode. These two’s chemistry is off the charts. 

However, our little meet cute is cut short when Eddie arrives. Eddie is surprised to see Buck there and asks Tommy if he got three tickets to the fight. Tommy says ‘no’ but he wishes he did. Here’s another thing I really liked about this scene. I’m sure, by now, Tommy knows that Buck goes by Buck but each time he addresses Buck he calls him ‘Evan’. I’ve always equated the characters on this show who refer to him as ‘Evan’ as having more of an intimate connection with him, i.e., Maddie his sister or Eddie his best friend. Anywho, Buck is surprised to learn that Tommy and Eddie have tickets to a big fight in Vegas and they’re taking one of the helicopters there. Now I have a question. If Buck wasn’t allowed to drive the firetruck to his hookups back in season one, how is Tommy flying to Vegas with Eddie in one of the LAFD choppers okay? Also, I didn’t know helicopters could fly that great of a distance. Anyway, Tommy and Eddie leave to board the helicopter and our poor Buck is left behind feeling both a little confused and a lot jealous.

“It is so good to have you back.” – Athena Grant, to Harry Grant

Speaking of surprises, Athena does not sleep with her hair wrapped. No shade, but no Black woman I know is going to lay her head down at night without doing something to protect her hair. Okay, I’m gonna leave Athena alone because she is thrilled to have her son back home. Yes, you read that right. Harry Grant is back home but he looks a bit different. The character is now aged up played by a new actor – Elijah M. Cooper. Now, in case you forgot, Harry went to live with his dad in Florida back in season five and we really haven’t seen him since then. When Athena says she can’t believe Michael didn’t say anything about Harry coming to visit. Harry tells her his dad has been really busy and had to fly back to Haiti. Bobby is immediately suspicious of this because he figures that Michael would’ve called about something like this. Athena doesn’t seem to concerned about any of this and is basically just happy to have her youngest back under her roof. 

“I saved a baby in a pipe once although it was a preemie and it didn’t speak.” – Evan Buckley, to everyone

Meanwhile, Buck, Eddie, and Ravi (played by Anirudh Pisharody) respond to an emergency at a restaurant where the dishwasher (played by Jibre Hordges) claims he hears a voice coming from inside the sink. Ravi doesn’t think it’s possible that someone could be trapped inside a drain but Buck reminds him of the time he pulled a newborn out of a sewer pipe. The firefighters do finally hear someone yelling for help and the restaurant manager (played by Cesili Williams) shows them footage of a motorcyclist being struck by a car and knocked into a storm drain. 

Buck, Eddie, and Ravi head outside and Ravi, being the newest member of the 118, is lowered down into a manhole to extract the poor guy. During this time, Buck grills Eddie about his outing with Tommy. He learns that in addition to going to Vegas, Tommy is also teaching Eddie the Muay Thai style of boxing and they’ve even worked on Eddie’s Chevelle together. Buck does his best to hide his jealously, but he can’t help pressing his best friend for more details. He asks Eddie when he plans on seeing Tommy again. Eddie tells him that Tommy has this karaoke/trivia thing he does on Wednesdays and asks Buck what his plans are for that day. Buck perks up and says his schedule is wide open. Eddie asks if he would watch Christopher for him. He would ask Marisol, but she’s already watched Christopher twice already. Yikes! So, a lot to unpack here. First, is Eddie using his girlfriend as childcare? Second, does this mean Buck’s level of importance to Eddie has decreased now that Tommy and Marisol are in the picture. Lastly, is Eddie really that oblivious? I get wanting to have a new friend, especially one who you have a lot in common with, but he knows Buck, or rather he should know Buck, and him saying these things, even though Buck technically asked him for this information, is hurtful for Buck to here. This, I’ve noticed, is a continuing trend of certain characters getting upset whenever Buck does something wrong, but having little to no regard when it comes to his feelings. This isn’t the first time Eddie has done something like this and I have to believe that he really is oblivious because the alternative means that he’s doing these things because he’s trying to get his friend all riled up. Of course, Buck agrees to watch Christopher because of course he’s going to watch Christopher. 

“Is it circled with a heart around it?” – Maddie Buckley, to Evan Buckley. 

A few days later, Buck updates Maddie on Eddie’s new friendship with Tommy. Buck is so jealous of the new friendship that he’s gathering intel from Christopher. Although Buck is being a little bit extra about all of this, a part of me can relate to the emotions he’s feeling. He worries that Tommy has made such an impression on not only Eddie but Christopher in such a short period of time. What I find fascinating is that while Buck is jealous, he harbors no ill-will towards Tommy.  In fact, he agrees with Eddie and Christopher. Tommy is cool. Buck tells his sister that Christopher would not stop talking about Tommy. Maddie wonders if it’s because Buck kept asking him questions about Tommy. Buck mentions that Eddie has a date written down on his calendar and it’s for a weekly pick-up basketball game with Tommy and other first responders. The date is circled. Buck mentions that Eddie has asked him to this before. Maddie reminds Buck that he doesn’t like basketball and he agrees and says that’s why he always tells Eddie ‘no’ but now Eddie is going with Tommy. Chimney hears the tail-end of their conversation and tells Maddie that Tommy flew Eddie to Vegas for a fight in a chopper. Chimney teases Buck by saying that Tommy’s so cool. 

“We have a problem.” – Bobby Nash, to Athena Grant

Back over at the Grant-Nash household, Bobby tells Athena he talked to Michael. Michael is not in Haiti, and he also had no clue Harry had left and come to Los Angeles which means Harry lied to the both of them. Athena wonders why Harry would lie, and Bobby says it’s because the police is looking for him. They showed up to Michael’s house while he was on the phone with Bobby. Bobby tells his wife that Harry got into a fight and assaulted someone. There’s now a warrant out for his arrest due to him fleeing the jurisdiction. Yikes! Poor Athena. You think you know your kids.

“That’s Jeremy. That’s my son, he’s a doctor.” – Dorothy Nelson, to Athena Grant

Maddie receives a call from an older woman named Dorothy Nelson who is reporting an intruder in her home. Maddie instructs her to stay calm and tells her to find a place to hide until the police get there. The woman panics and tells Maddie she has a gun. Maddie tells her that arming herself can only make the situation she’s in more dangerous. Dorothy starts screaming and then we hear a gunshot. 

Athena, Hen, and Chimney arrive on the scene and find a man dead in the Dorothy’s living room. Chimney tends to her and learns she recently sustained a fall in her garden. Athena looks around the room and sees a photo on the mantle above the fireplace. She realizes the man in the photo looks an awful lot like the dead man on the floor. Hen posits Dorothy has face blindness which means she wouldn’t have been able to recognize the guy even if she does know him. This emergency reminds me of a similar one on Lone Star where a kid locked himself in the bathroom because his dad thought he was an intruder.

Athena goes over to Dorothy (played by Meagen Fay) and asks her if she recognizes the man in the photo. She tells Athena that the man in the photo is her son, Jeremy, and he’s a doctor. So, this lady has killed her own son, and the sad part is, she still thinks that it’s an intruder she shot. This is beyond sad, and I felt so bad for her. I also feel bad for Athena who will have to be the one to tell her the truth. Hen asks her if she can imagine looking into her own child’s face and not even recognizing him. Athena says yes she can.

“That’s how they wake you up in jail for sleeping in. Except the water won’t be clean and it probably won’t be water.” Athena Grant, to Harry Grant

Athena returns home and confronts her son. I did not like the way Harry was talking to his mom and I was wondering why Athena didn’t slap him across his lips. Then I realized, she already did this back in season 5 when Harry started mouthing off at her. Athena is extremely patient in this scene while Harry tells her about the incident involving him assaulting a man. The man, in question, is the manager of a convenience store. Apparently this man was following Harry around while he was inside the convenience store and accused Harry of stealing. The man wouldn’t let Harry leave and got aggressive with him which is why Harry hit him. Harry is upset because he believes she is taking law enforcement’s side over his much like he thinks she did when his father was pulled over several seasons ago. Athena reminds him she is a cop, and he counters by reminding her that he is still his mom. He asks her which one is more important to her but says he already knows the answer to that question. 

“Hey, what are you doing on Thursday?” – Evan Buckley, to Howard "Chimney" Han

Over at the 118, Buck is trying his best to get Eddie’s attention, but the latter is too wrapped up in his phone call with Tommy. Buck tries to impress by bench-pressing a lot of weight but he’s clearly struggling with isn’t too believable for me because have you seen Buck? The guy is a tank! Ravi asks him if he needs help and Buck declines. I wish Buck wasn’t so short-sighted because as much as he wants Eddie and Tommy to notice him, I think Ravi wants Buck to notice him. For him, I think, Buck is the cool one. Chimney brings Buck a package addressed to an M. Buckley which I found funny because either Buck doesn’t have his own Amazon Prime account or maybe he shares one with Eddie and didn’t want his friend knowing what he’s ordering. Turns out, the item Buck has ordered is a new basketball. When Buck sees Eddie again, he suggests that they can get a basketball hoop. Eddie barely acknowledges this before returning to his conversation. Yeah, I’m beginning to think Eddie is doing this on purpose. 

“He was shot when he was mistaken as an intruder.” – Athena Grant, to Dorothy Nelson

Athena puts her cutest outfit and goes to see Dorothy Nelson at the hospital. She rips off the Band-Aid and tells Dorothy her son is dead. When Dorothy asks what happens, Athena tells her that he was killed because he was mistaken as an intruder. I like how Athena delivered this news because it wasn’t accusatory. She lets Dorothy figure out the rest and the moment it dawns on her that she is the one who killed Jeremy she is rightfully devastated. Kudos to the actress playing Dorothy Nelson because she really sold this scene for me. This is the most devasting thing I’ve seen on this show since the story back in season 5 where two best friends were struck during the middle of a parade and one of them died. The scene ends and I’m left wondering what will become of this woman. I can’t imagine the pain she’ll have to live with knowing she killed her son. 

“So, I’m your basketball beard. I feel so bonded.” – Howard “Chimney” Han, to Evan Buckley

Buck convinces Chimney to go with him to the pick-up basketball game. Buck pretends to be surprised to see Eddie and Tommy there. Eddie asks Chimney how he managed to talk Buck into playing basketball because every time he asks him, he says ‘no’. Chimney decides to play coy and tells Eddie he has his ways. I love seeing Chimney being supportive of Buck because very soon they are going to be brothers-in-law. The two square off against Eddie and Tommy and the latter are dominating. Buck lets his jealousy get the better of him and trips Eddie up right as he’s about to make a lay-up. We hear something pop as Eddie falls to the ground. Chimney goes into paramedic mode and assesses Eddie’s injury. He thinks Eddie may have a fracture or sprain. Tommy says that Eddie rode with him, so he’ll be the one to take him to urgent care. Eddie gives Buck a hurt look and Buck immediately feels horrible. Tommy lifts Eddie up and takes him away. Chimney looks at Buck and says, “Well you bucked that up, didn’t you?” Geez, I really feel bad for Buck. He is spiraling!

“It seems unjust, but in reality that’s just the way it is.” – Athena Grant, to Harry Grant

With a cooler head, Athena decides to talk to her son. He apologizes for how he spoke to her. He tells her he is not sorry for hitting the convenience store manager. Athena reminds him that he is not only representing himself and their family, but also his community, which means he can’t go around punching people. He tells her that’s a lot of pressure, but she says that’s the reality of the world they live in. She tells him has to be smarter and he asks her if that means he’s not allowed to be angry. Athena tells him it’s okay to be angry because at the end of the day, he’s a human and that’s what humans do – they get angry when they are upset. However, she reminds him that things could have been worst for him. What if the convenience store manager had a gun? Harry asks her what would have been the right thing for him to do in the situation and I like that Athena admits she doesn’t know. At the end of the day, you have to do whatever you have to do to make it home alive. That’s sentiment is so sad to me but as a Black man living in America, in the South to be specific, I totally get it. It’s not fair but it is what it is. 

Athena shows him the footage of what happened at the convenience store. Harry watches as the manager confronts him and even gets aggressive. He also sees himself punch the man. It’s sobering for him to see this video. He says it’s like watching someone else. Athena tells him that everyone has something they’ve done that they aren’t proud of (you hear that Buck?) but the true test of character is being able to face the consequences of one’s actions. Harry tells her he doesn’t know what to do and she tells him they’ll figure it out together. Whatever happens, she will be right there with him because he is her son, and she loves him no matter what.

“I’m not a fourteen-year-old girl.” – Evan Buckley, to Maddie Buckley. 

Buck brings Maddie lunch at the dispatch center and catches her up on what happened with Eddie.  She asks Buck how Eddie is feeling, and he tells her he doesn’t know because he hasn’t talked to him. Maddie is surprised to hear this considering Buck and Eddie are so close. Buck tells her he doesn’t think Eddie wants to hear from him since he’s the one who hurt him. Maddie says it’s an accident, but Buck tells her he was pissed about Eddie and Tommy hanging out so much that he allowed his jealousy to get the better of him. He’s the reason why Eddie got injured. Buck says he was only trying to get his attention. Maddie tells him that is not the way to get someone’s attention. When I first watched this scene, I thought Maddie was going a little overboard with her disapproval of what Buck did. Then I realized, violence is how her husband Doug would get her attention back when they were married. Buck tells her he feels awful for what he did to Eddie, and she tells him not to do it again. 

She admits she knows how he feels because she had a similar situation with her best friend growing up. Her friend became friends with another girl and Maddie did everything she could, including dyeing her hair blonde and attempting to change her name, to get her friend to notice her. It never occurred to her that she could have still been friends with her friend even if her friend was friends with someone else. Maybe they could have all been friends. But Maddie was too jealous to realize this. The situation made her look desperate, and she would’ve been better off just explaining to her friend how she felt. 

“It’s good to see you Harry.” – Captain Elaine Maynard, to Harry Grant

Athena accompanies Harry to the police station, and they are met by Captain Elaine Maynard (played by Claudia Christian). The captain tells Athena and Harry she spoke with the Miami Dade Police Department, and they have no interest in extraditing for a misdemeanor assault. However, both jurisdictions recommended Harry remain in Los Angeles with Athena and complete 100 hours of community service. Harry is surprised he isn’t going to jail but Athena makes it known that him being under her watchful eye will be worse. 

“It’s not like I could ever replace you.” – Tommy Kinard, to Evan Buckley

Now, we’ve finally made it to my favorite scene of the episode. We head over to Buck’s loft. There’s a knock at the door and when he goes to check, he finds Tommy on his doorstep. Tommy asks if they can talk, and Buck invites himself inside. I love the subtle detail of Tommy being in awe of Buck’s loft. Buck offers him a drink and reminds him that he owes him a beer. Tommy declines and says he won’t be staying long. He tells Buck he wants to clear the air between the two of them and he didn’t want to do so over the phone or through a text message. Tommy calls him Evan and says it was never his intention to cause any bad blood between him and Eddie. Buck assures him there’s no bad blood and owns up to his bad behavior. He tells him that he and Eddie make perfect sense as friends. Tommy agrees and reminds Buck that Eddie can have more than one friend. 

Tommy says that he would never be able to replace him. He says that Christopher cannot shut up about Buck. I love the smile on Buck’s face when Tommy says this because it’s a reminder that Buck, seven seasons later, still craves the approval and the acceptance of those around him. Even Christopher. Buck asks Tommy if Eddie is mad at him. Tommy tells him Eddie is not mad at him. If anything, he feels bad (they both do) for excluding Buck. He tells Buck that he and Eddie hanging out was never about Buck, but Buck says that’s the problem. He admits he can get pretty jealous. I’m so proud of Buck for just owning everything in this scene. Lisa Rinna would be proud. 

Tommy admits that Buck isn’t the only one who’s been jealous. Buck is surprised to hear this. Tommy explains that he’s jealous of what’s become of the 118. When we were first introduced to Tommy, it was back during the ‘Begin’ episodes for Hen, Chimney, and Bobby. The 118 didn’t use to be the family it is now. In fact, the previous captain went out of his way to cultivate a highly toxic environment and it’s because of Chimney, Hen, and Bobby that the team is what it is today. It’s the reason why Buck and Eddie and Ravi were able to be accepted right away without having to be hazed by the other firefighters. Tommy admits he wishes he were a part of what the 118 has become and Buck reminds him that he is. He reminds Tommy of how he made fake mouth static at the fire chief during their daring mission to save Bobby and Athena. Tommy says he’s renowned for his fake mouth static, but Buck says it wasn’t very convincing. The banter between these two men is so cute I could actually explode. Buck tempers his teasing by reminding Tommy that he was willing to put his job on the line to help the rest of them out. That was the moment Buck realized that Tommy was cool and that he liked him. He tells Tommy that’s the reason he called him for the tour. It’s not because he’s thinking about leaving the 118; it’s because he wanted to get to know him. It’s Tommy’s turn to be surprised. Buck says things took a turn when Eddie arrive, but he understands why Tommy wants to hang with Eddie. It was so cute the way Buck gushes about how great Eddie is that he’s known Eddie is great since the first day he worked with him. Aww! At this point, I’m literally yelling at my TV.

“That was better than fake mouth static.” – Evan Buckley, to Tommy Kinard

The flirting is turned up to level 100 when Buck tells Tommy it’s his attention he’s been trying to get and frankly he’s exhausted. Again, Tommy is surprised to hear this. Buck reminds him that he maimed his best friend, and that Maddie told him there are better ways to get someone’s attention. Before Buck can even finish the statement, Tommy leans in and kisses him. There’s a brief hesitation in Buck, most likely because he is shocked, the Buck starts to kiss him back. This moment was beyond shocking to me and even now, three days later, I still have to watch the clip to remind myself that Tommy kissed Buck and Buck definitely kissed him back. I spent years thinking something like this would never happen and I’ve gone back and forth with Buddie shippers online telling them that Buck or Eddie coming out as anything other than straight was an impossibility. Yeah, maybe that was the case when 9-1-1 was on FOX but this is a new network baby and ABC said, let them boys kiss! And yes, it’s not Eddie and Buck that are kissing but in my opinion, this is an even better direction for the characters to go in. I’ve always believed that if either character were to come out as queer, it would be Buck. We’ve only seen Buck in relationships with women, but he’s always struck me as someone who is open to whatever experiences come his way. Perhaps this explains why he's always had difficulty in the relationships he’s pursued on the show. Eddie, on the other hand, is a lot more reserved than Buck and the writers are going to have to put in work to convince me he is anything other than a heterosexual man. I’m not saying it’s out the realm of possibility, but I think the writers did a good job getting us where we are now, and they’ll need to do the same for Eddie in the future should that be the direction they want to go in for that character. Also. bringing Tommy into the equation is a brilliant move on their part because rewatching those ‘Begin’ episodes, there are insinuations there that he may be gay or bisexual. 

Okay, back to the scene. The way Tommy is looking at Buck gives me all the feels. The way he’s looking at Buck tells me that if he didn’t have to leave for his shift, they would be going at it on Buck’s new sofa. I’m so happy this isn’t just a one-sided interest. After the kiss, Tommy asks Buck if he’s okay with the moment they just shared. Buck is looking every bit of the bewildered that’s a part of the title of this episode. He tells Tommy that the kiss was better than his fake mouth static. Tommy tells him he has a shift, but he wants to take Buck out on a proper date. Buck tells him he’s free and man is that statement layered. Free to go out. Free to be who he wants to be. Free to kiss anyone he wants to kiss. Tommy tells Buck he will come around on Saturday at eight to pick him up. Tommy goes to leave but before opens the door, he tells Buck to call Eddie. We end the scene with Buck looking the happiest he’s looked in a long time. 

This episode is hands down one of the best of the series and that’s just not recency bias. I feel that way about all the episodes we’ve gotten this season. 9-1-1 is firing on all cylinders at this point and things feel fresh and new again. The plot with Athena and Harry was perplexing at first but then I grew to like it by the end. I like that the show reminds us that Athena being a Black woman and a cop is controversial, especially in today’s climate, and I like that her kids aren’t afraid to call her out. I love seeing Athena reckon with both identities and how they relate to each other. I especially loved her conversation with Harry because it’s very reminiscent of conversations I’ve had with my own mom. Her telling Harry that it’s unfair that he has to always be on his best behavior but necessary rang so true to me. Athena has always known this, even before she had kids, yet she chooses to continue to work within a system that reinforces this kind of thinking. 

The storyline with Buck was also fun. It was a nice balance to the sadness of the story with the woman killing her son on accident. I like how Buck is never afraid to be vulnerable, even if it’s to his detriment. I hope we get a conversation between him and Eddie next episode because I love their friendship and I don’t want it to ever change, and something tells me Buck is going to lean heavy on his friendship with Eddie now that he might be dating Tommy. And I hope that Eddie continues to be supportive of his friend when he finds out the truth about his sexuality. I don’t think Eddie would have a problem with it. After all, Hen is an out and proud lesbian, and we also have Josh who is gay. I do know that some people do question the legitimacy of bisexual people but again, I don’t think Eddie will have a problem with whatever Buck labels himself as. Maybe we’ll even get a double date between Eddie, Marisol, Buck, and Tommy. That would be fun.

Lastly, I wanted to talk about Buck and Tommy. I think the show did a great job getting us to the moment where they shared a kiss this episode. As I mentioned earlier, I have seen this episode quite a few times and I’ve watched the scenes involving Buck and Tommy more than that. If you watch the scene where Buck is visiting Tommy, there’s so many little looks the two are giving each other. I think at that point that Buck is only infatuated but Tommy is clearly interested. Also, if you go back to the previous episode, at the end once everyone has been rescued, there’s a look Buck gives when he is telling Tommy goodbye. I love things like that and it’s proof to me that this isn’t just gaybaiting or queerbaiting. This is the show telling us that one of their beloved characters is queer and they have taken special care with letting us know that. I love how Oliver Stark and Lou Ferrigno Jr. are invested in this story. In fact, the cast is supportive of Buck going in this direction. I’m so happy that the fans have this moment. It’s been so fun engaging with people online about this episode and while there are viewers who have and will balk at Buck being a queer character, I say screw those people. If a character’s sexuality can make you that upset, you clearly haven’t been watching the show and you’re not a fan.

Okay, this reaction has gone on way too long. I’ll say it one last time. I’m so happy Buck is bi!!!! I can’t wait to see what happens next! Until next time …

#abc 911 #911 abc #evan buckley #tommy kinard #lou ferrigno jr #oliver stark #maddie buckley #athena grant #bucktommy #howard chimney han #hen wilson #bobby nash #eddie diaz #ravi panikkar #buck x tommy #buddie #911 7x04 #blw reactions #buck is bi #911 reactions #bisexual buck

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

Going back to our roots here what’s your brutally honest opinion about lucaya and joshaya if you’re up for some throwbacks

this message physically aged me 45 years 😭

lucaya- like, it was obviously planned from the beginning, but here's the thing: their dynamic was tired as hell. you see it in every piece of media ever. they were BORING. also I just genuinely almost never liked lucas lmfao. there were a handful of lines throughout 3 seasons that got a laugh out of me- and it was always when he was playing the idiot or confused part, if they had just let him be the wannabe eric of the show it could have been amazing. as for maya, I definitely wasn't as attached to her as I was riley, she just kinda got on my nerves a bit, but Dear God Did She Deserve Better. the triangle was drawn out WAY too long. by the end of it both girls should have left lucas in the dust. we see the 'official' triangle plotline start on new years eve, and end in late september/early october. in no world should it have taken him that long, ESPECIALLY when he knew what a strain it was putting on the girls relationship. if he really cared he would have stepped back, like, literally, it is very very possible to have feelings for someone and not date them, oh my God. farkle had the girls fighting over him ONE time and was like 'hey no I love you guys too much to see you upset'. lucas friar you will always be hated<3

joshaya- I need to get this out of the way because I saw it so much: maya was not trying to date josh when she snuck into the college party. the college girls were not telling josh to date maya. one of josh's friends hits on maya and riley and maya said We Are In Eighth Grade. she's not delusional. the whole episode was how she wanted josh to stop ignoring her. there's subtext ladies!!! cory and topanga were practically raising maya since she was 5. even if it's not addressed too well on screen, you have to be aware that maya and josh have known each other practically their whole lives. considering how close josh is with cory, riley, and auggie, that tells us he saw the family on a regular basis growing up (he literally left his parents and took a train at like 4 in the morning just so cory could open his college letter with him). so josh and maya were likely good friends as children! what we see with his introduction to the show is he starts treating her more as a kid, as his niece's friend, and thinks her feelings are silly and she says No. I need you to take me seriously here. I don't want our friendship to change just because you're in college now. my feelings are not stupid and I want you to respect me. (also. side note. they never said josh's age in the show right?? because for him to start college when he did would make him older than he should have been based on the boy meets world timeline...like, I was kinda working under the assumption he skipped a grade or two in high school but everyone else was like Known Grown Man And Pedophile Josh Matthews Asked A Toddler To Go To The Movies As Friends lmfao). anyway. she asks him to respect her and he does!!! genuine shock and awe! lucas friar found dead in a ditch! lmao. their vague 'let's see how we feel in a few years' talk reminded me a lot of the cory/topanga yearbook quote scene, and they had great chemistry! it didn't feel like something I've seen a thousand times before. it's not like they promised to swear off dating and wait for her 18th birthday, she was basically dating zay by the end of the show. they just said 'we've known each other for a while, there's definitely something between us but this isn't the right time for us to explore it, so let's be friends like we used to' (see: what lucas should have done during the triangle). josh had a tiny bit of an edge to him, but with the dorky matthews heart, which tbh was exactly what maya wanted. I loved how maya acted around josh, it lead to some of her funniest and most open moments in the show. I loved how gentle josh was with her even when she was being annoying. I love a good childhood crush to actual lovers story! sue me! lmao I think if the show had gotten as many seasons as boy meets world they really could have been something special

#girl meets world #gmw #maya hart #joshaya #anti lucaya #asks #molly mumbles #kourtgreene

[warmglowofsurvival]

twenty one pilots talk origins, insecurities, and their sprawling new album blurryface

Since the release of their 2013 album Vessel and it's attendant hit singles "Holding on to You" and "Guns for Hands," Twenty One Pilots have become summer music festival favorites. Which makes sense, as the Columbus, Ohio, duo work hard to give you an entire Lollapalooza's worth of music in one convenient... well, Vessel. Their new album, Blurryface, out today on Fueled by Ramen, is even more willfully eclectic than its predecessor, veering from dance music thumpers to indie rock-rap hybrids to campfire folk comedowns with little regard for your genre expectations. Before signing with Fueled by Ramen, singer/multi-instrumentalist Tyler Joseph and drummer Josh Dun were slugging it out in the Columbus music scene, self-releasing albums and posting songs online. They might have some MTV Video Music Award nominations and Pete Wentz's phone number now, but their basic approach hasn't changed at all; they still just want to impress each other first and foremost. Here's Joseph and Dun on their early days, their new album and the intention -- or lack thereof -- behind their gift for doing everything at once.

When did you guys first meet?

Tyler Joseph: You know, when we get asked this question, Josh and I like to make something up on the spot to try to make the other laugh. We've come up with a lot of great answers to that question, like meeting in prison, or that we were the only two survivors on a train wreck. Josh always seems to be a lifeguard in his stories and he always revives me, which I think is a little odd, but it always gets a chuckle out of me. In all honesty, we met through a mutual friend here in Columbus, Ohio. Josh came out to a show that I was playing with some other people. So, we actually met at a show and he said, "Hey, let's hang out sometime," and that's something that's said all the time, you know, and people don't really follow up on it, but for some reason Josh and I did hang out. He came over to the house and late hours into the night we got to talking about music and what we wanted to do with it.

Josh Dun: We knew at that moment that we'd be best friends for life.

When you first started writing music together, how did you guys know that you had something?

TJ: I think what's cool is that we started out as friends first. When we met each other, I think that we just hung out as friends for about a year before we even started playing together. It is probably pretty important, looking back now, that we'd established that trust with each other, just as friends. We developed a cool relationship and then everything fell into place where we were both available to play music together and not with the other people that we were playing with. It just worked out perfectly. I had some songs that I had written that I was throwing together, and I remember when Josh first started playing his songs live, it all came together and made sense for me.

JD: The first time I actually met Tyler was at a show that he was playing with a couple of his buddies. I remember, because I had been playing music for a little while, and I really had a specific idea of what I wanted to be a part of in my mind, and I had never really seen what I had in mind until I saw Tyler performing. I even remember thinking, "That's what I want to be a part of." I think it was the very first time that we ever met that I just totally knew that I wanted to someday play music with Tyler and be creative and take over the world.

What was it you were looking for, and what did you find in him?

JD: I think it's just something that's a little bit different I guess. It was like some sort of itch that I couldn't scratch. What I had in mind was something that I hadn't really heard before and that I finally heard, and I was excited about that.

What was the music scene in Columbus like while you were growing up?

JD: I think Columbus has always embraced music pretty well, and I think it still does. By the time that we were in high school and early college, I would say there was a pretty decent music scene here, and from all different kinds of things: people playing house shows, or people playing one of the local venues, and people doing pretty well. We made friends with some of these people, and then there was a time when Tyler and I closed our eyes and kind of dug our own little tunnel. The way that we describe it is that a year later, after getting to reach the surface again to catch a breath of air, we look back and realized how far we've been able to go over that past year.

You pull from a lot of different genres at once on your album. There's some rap on there, indie rock, dance music, and even some ukulele. Is that the goal, to sound like someone's iPod, with all these different types of sounds in one place?

TJ: I wouldn't say that that's the goal. We're not aiming to try to be as all over the place as possible. I think that the landscape of the record is a testament to the type of music that Josh and I like to listen to, which is all kinds of music. We're a product of that generation that has access to everything, and it comes down to it whenever Josh and I are working on a song. There's a lot of outside pressure, a lot of outside opinions, especially going into the second record, and I think that we work pretty hard to all block those things out and ask ourselves the question, "Do we like this?" So I wouldn't say it's intentional, like, "Let's try to make a record that sounds so sporadic and so crazy." I think that's just the product of what we like in music.

How do you guys make it all work together as one song or one album? Because you'll jump from a song like "Polarize," which is dance music, to a song that's more of a ukulele, acoustic type of sound.

TJ: Like I said, it's not like an intentional. It just kind of all happened. We wrote the record on the road. We were very influenced by our live shows and being in front of fans every night. There's a couple things that we tried to do: one, we want to say this on our record because we didn't say it on our last record. But then at the same time we're very influenced by what we wished we had in our live set. That is very important to us, and we're very intentional about which songs go where, and when you're writing a record on the road, you kind of get to answer the questions, "What is it that our live set needs? Which song do we wish we had in this moment here?" So I guess a lot of this record is just an answer to that, kind of a rebuttal to what it is that Josh and I think our live set needs.

The first single, "Fairly Local" — I believe it has the line, "this isn't for the radio", which is a strange thing to say on your single. But it does seem to be a song about worrying that you might lose contact with where you're from. Is that something you're concerned about?

TJ: I guess there's always that fear that you're going to change as a person. But, also whether or not you're in the spotlight making music, you're going to change, too. I mean, Josh and I are right now sitting in Columbus, Ohio, at my house and we love it here. It's our hometown and it will always be. So, I think in the song "Fairly Local", it's more metaphor. We had a lot of conversations with a lot of people who like listening to music or using music to get through tough times. If anything, I think Josh and I learned when we were traveling the world during the last album cycle that everyone's the same, everyone feels the same issues. So, it's kind of a way of getting on the same level as these people and telling them, in a sense, we understand what you're going through.

What does the title Blurryface mean to you?

TJ: Blurryface is this guy who represents everything i'm insecure about. Honestly, we all know that we're insecure about certain things, but what we don't totally understand is how those insecurities affect our day-to-day life. So it's helped me give my insecurities a seat at the table, so I can stare across at him and give him a name and face and personality. I can kind of retaliate and I can see these insecurities for what they are, and so this guy named Blurryface is someone that i'm trying to understand — but also defeat every day.

#twenty one pilots #twentyonepilots #josh dun #joshua dun #tyler joseph #2015 #may 2015 #may #may '15 #may 19 #paper magazine #paper mag #paper #interview #michael tedder #archive #archive.org

[twh-news]

Tom Hiddleston made his glorious debut as Loki in 2011's Thor, which celebrated its 10th anniversary exactly two weeks ago today. Since then, the 40-year-old actor's God of Mischief has gone on a remarkable journey in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, as he grappled with the living in his heroic brother Thor's (Chris Hemsworth) shadow and evolved from villain to antihero. Now, it's time for Loki to step into the spotlight on Disney+'s Loki. Ahead of the six-episode drama's premiere, though, EW asked Hiddleston to take us through Loki's greatest hits.

The audition (2009)

It's well-known that Hiddleston actually auditioned for Thor's titular role. "I remember thinking I should probably do some exercise because Thor is a very athletic character. So I did that, got into his kind of regime and did my camera test, and put on the blonde wig, and swung the hammer," he says. "But I do remember on the piece of paper I signed, it said, 'The role of Thor/Loki.' I thought, 'Okay...' Long-story short: Chris Hemsworth is definitive in the role of Thor. I certainly think so, and the right decision was made on that day. I'm very glad it went the way it went."

Thor (2011)

Directed by Kenneth Branagh, The first Thor contains the scene that truly set the stage for Hiddleston and Loki's post-Avengers breakout. After discovering he's actually descended from the Frost Giants, Loki confronts his (adopted) father, Odin (Anthony Hopkins), about the deception in a harrowing and transformative scene. "That's the creation, in a way, of Loki's status as a villain, is this intense feeling of marginalization and isolation, [and] that he does not belong, that Thor is not his brother," says Hiddleston. "I'll never forget doing that scene because I had such respect, and still do, for Sir Anthony Hopkins, and suddenly I was having to play tennis with him in a very emotional place."

Marvel Studios President Kevin Feige adds: "There's just so much pain and angst in it. I think that is the moment that Tom really got his hooks into the audience."

The Avengers (2012)

Loki has many memorable moments in The Avengers, but Hulk interrupting the "puny" god's egomaniacal speech and pounding him to the ground is the funniest. "I had a piece of wire tied to my ankle and there was a mat on the floor, which was out of shot, and three of the strongest stunt guys holding the wire at the end behind the camera. The experience being yanked out of frame was one I will not forget in a hurry," says Hiddleston, explaining he was the only one in front of the camera when they shot it because Mark Ruffalo didn't perform the role via motion-capture in that first Avengers film. "For about two years after that, I couldn't go through airports anywhere in the world without somebody kind of going, 'Hey, Mr. Loki, I love it when you get Hulk smashed.' It became a bit of a thing in a fun way,"

Thor: The Dark World (2013)

Loki loves to use his powers to guard himself both physically and emotionally, as seen in Thor: The Dark World when Thor visits his imprisoned brother after the Dark Elves murdered their mother. At first, Loki is smug as always and everything seems in order, but Thor calls him out and the illusion dissipates, revealing that Loki is broken and grieving. "There's this love of their mother that unites these two brothers, adopted or not, and they form a kind of unpredictable and unstable alliance," says Hiddleston. "That scene was really key to anchoring that film in something honest and emotional."

Thor: Ragnarok (2017)

Loki learns nothing hurts like apathy when his brother reveals he's completely given up on him in this pivotal elevator scene from Taika Waititi's eccentric and warm threequel. "I think it really affects Loki. He thinks, 'Oh maybe I got this wrong. Maybe I did have a place in that family. Maybe this guy is my brother.' But it was a really enjoyable scene because it was just a very quiet moment with Chris in a very calm space in a big, colorful, spectacular film" says Hiddleston.

Avengers: Infinity War (2018)

After evading death many times, Loki finally met his end when Thanos (Josh Brolin) crushed his windpipe — but not before delivering a powerful speech in which he accepted all parts of himself, the Frost Giant and the Asgardian. "The redemption of Loki as a character was achieved in that moment of sacrifice and catharsis — that after all this time, after all this journey of feeling marginalized and fueled by jealous rage, he would risk his life to save his brother and call himself an Odinson. And I saw this perfect closure in a way," says Hiddleston. "I remember Josh Brolin could not have been sweeter. He was so generous. I walked into the room and he turned around and saw me come in, and just broke into this big wide smile, and opened up his arms, and enveloped me in a big hug and said, 'I'm sorry, man.'"

Avengers: Endgame (2019)

But Infinity War wasn't the end for Loki. Hiddleston appeared as the Avengers-era version of his character for Endgame's time heist. "It was really enjoyable to go back to this version of this character that I played before all of the evolution with those actors who I got to know so well and we'd all been on this journey together," he says. Of course, that Loki ends up stealing the Tesseract and disappearing, setting the stage for the Disney+ series. "Where does he go? When does he go? How does he get there?"

Loki (2021)

"If you've seen the trailer for Loki the show, you will know that Loki finds himself face-to-face with the TVA, the Time Variance Authority, who are an organization within Marvel Comics that govern the order of time," Hiddleston says. "I suppose Loki picking up the Tesseract in Endgame might have caused some concern. It is very exciting. The world of the TVA is a world of bureaucratic order, and of course Loki is the God of Mischief and Chaos. So you have the forces of order and chaos coming together, and that's where our story starts."

Bonus moment: Thor: The Dark World (2013)

At one point in the Thor sequel, Loki shape-shifts into Captain America, with Chris Evans making a cameo, while he and his brother escape Asgard. However, there's a version of that scene in which Hiddleston actually puts on the star-spangled hero's costumes himself. "[That] was a very strange and surreal moment, nevertheless enjoyable. So I got to feel whatever the feeling of wearing that suit [is], which is definitely a moment," Hiddleston recalls. "Then, they played that footage to Chris, and he did his best impression of me doing an impression him, and he does it brilliantly." High-praise from the God of impressions.

#Tom Hiddleston #Interview #Article #entertainment weekly #loki #loki series #Long post

[what-do-1000-swords-look-like]

Just want to talk about this scene for a second (off the top of my head upon first watch):

Firstly, let's look at how Eddie is dressed. He looks good here, like real good. That's definitely on purpose. (this man is so obviously in love)

Secondly, for all of the naysayers out there that are losing their shit because Buddie is being hinted at even more now while Ana also went bye bye last week (their last chance to be a self-insert in a hetero ship with Eddie in their fantasies, I guess), this is yet another scene where Eddie is providing emotional support to Buck, not just as his friend, but also as something Taylor should be doing. It should be Taylor Buck is talking to about this. Am I saying this conversation is exclusive to a significant other? No, I'm not. But the fact is we still have yet to see any building of Buck and Taylor's romantic relationship aka emotional connection. Instead, we see an episode that starts out with Eddie and Buck on the same scene but not working together or even interacting. Instead we get Eddie and Hen working together (which they had some very nice moments in the hospital before the shit hit the fan). Because the partnerships are yet again being paralleled. Chim is spiraling out due to Maddie's leaving and while Buck isn't, like Eddie said he's the guy "who likes to fix things" and thinks keeping it from Chim that he talked to Maddie while checking on Chim was the best thing for all involved. Hen knows Chim and knows what he was going to choose to do, just like Eddie knows Buck. They purposely went out of their way this episode to show us this parallel, right down to having Hen and Eddie working in the hospital and doing things that no firefighter paramedic would be doing, especially when the show has stressed previously that their jobs end at the doors (which if you think about it, the show keeps displaying that this is not happening this season, first time it was due to the chaos and they were lending a helping hand, now a mass casualty situation has happened and they're again lending a helping hand, they're showing this for a reason). In this episode, they wanted to show us Eddie and Hen while also relating them to the theme of the episode which is who you think you see/know may not really be who you think you see/know. The only time we see someone actually seeing/knowing who is in front of them is Eddie and Buck, Hen and Eddie, Chim and Buck, Hen and Chim, Bobby and Athena, Michael and Athena, May and Claudette, and May and Harry (which I absolutely loved that scene btw!!! We need MORE scenes with them!!!). Josh doesn't know Claudette (or is more being willingly blind I think), it's hinted Buck doesn't know Maddie (or who she is right now) or that Chim doesn't know Maddie, etc. And of course, we have Cassie and Makayla and that whole situation. So besides the obvious convo of the scene, this was definitely an emotional connection scene that paralleled to Hen and Chim's. But it also contrasts with it just as strongly.

For one, you don't have Hen or Chim looking at each other like this:

Instead, you have Hen and Chim telling each other that their significant others are lucky to have them. Purposeful. Dialogue. Because in the Buck and Eddie scene, yes, they discuss Maddie and what happened with Chim but we know Eddie just broke up with Ana and Buck is still dating Taylor but she's nowhere around this episode, nor is Christopher. They are trying to show us the difference, the contrast. Hen is married to Karen and they're together. Hen offers to drive with Chimney but he turns her down with the guise of 'would your wife be okay with that?' Chim leaves to go find Maddie who he loves and wants to bring back home. THE PARALLELS ARE RIGHT THERE. Sometimes, I want to force the naysayers into a lecture room and buckle them into their seats while taping their eyes open and ask them "WHAT FREAKING SHOW ARE YOU WATCHING??? IT'S ALL RIGHT THERE, DUH!!!!" But...I digress.

The point is it's an emotional connection scene (along with vulnerability) that's not just supposed to be friends, brothers, partners, neighbors or whatever other term antis will try to throw into the mix.

Thirdly, this is an intentional callback to this scene:

While there was no "sexual tension" in the 5x04 scene, we have the beers yet again. We have one handing a beer to the other, yet again. We have one reassuring the other emotionally. We also have a conversation about Maddie that turns into a conversation about one or the other. We have Eddie entering the scene first while being the first to talk and bringing something in Buck's direction (aka bringing something to Buck, to the dynamic). We have someone wanting to take a swing at Buck (but vs 3x09, Chim actually did). But this time, it's not night, Christopher isn't there (that we can see anyway though I thought I saw Gavin's name in the credits but I could be wrong), and it's in broad daylight on the balcony. And why? Because the show is literally letting us see now what's been right in front of us all along. Because Eddie (and Buck) are that much closer to where they've been steering this part of the story for two seasons now. They even had Buck and Eddie dressed similarly to that scene (Buck's hoodie is just a lighter color). The only difference is Eddie doesn't have an undershirt on (that we can see) but Buck suddenly does. (which again, I think it's because Eddie is aware of how he feels and while all of his cards may not be on the table right now, he knows; Buck on the other hand I don't think knows, or not that we've seen anyway; whereas in 3x09 Eddie had layers on because he was still sorting through things and wasn't being 100% honest while Buck was so no layers for him; this show makes choices I'm telling you)

It's all right there.

Fourthly, the constant beer sipping. I will admit, this action drove me nuts. The action was just so unnecessary but because it annoyed me so much, it garnered my attention to look at it more closely. Because Ryan is NOT a bad actor, and the show wouldn't have kept that in if it wasn't for a reason. Not only do we get the callback to the 3x09 scene (mentioned above) but Eddie is a lot softer in this scene, even in the way Ryan performs the dialogue. When he says "And you love Chimney", that is all kinds of soft (along with his expressions and snuck-in-there heart eyes). He's reassuring Buck but he's also letting his affection for Buck come through. Eddie is nervous here, but it's subtle, it doesn't come across that way. He is confident all throughout the scene until Buck asks him if he thinks Chim will forgive him. While he quickly reassures Buck (like always, 3x16 callback anyone?), his reaction afterwards and then the whole "Ice goes on the eye, bud" line with the constant sipping showcases his nervousness.

They're literally not even trying to hide it at this point. Like at all. I said Eddie's season 3 arc was peeking its head up and I knew it but damn I will admit I did not expect specific callbacks like this one. They're really out there circling back to stop at all of the Buddie pit stops along the way before finally sailing us home. Wow.

Fifthly, the line here: "When you see your sister, you think of the person you've always looked up to, the woman who's taken care of you." - I know we've all talked about the distinction Eddie keeps making with the word "woman" when it came to Ana, but holy hell this wasn't just another time he made this weird separation, he's literally saying it during this scene where he's giving some serious heart eyes and softness to Buck. He already used the word "person" to describe Maddie which is exactly what would have made sense. There was no reason to add "woman" in there. "When you see your sister, you think of the person you've always looked up to, who's taken care of you." -> that's literally how it could have gone but instead they had Ryan say the line with "woman" in it after using "person". Like I said, they're not even trying to hide it at this point.

Sixthly, there's something with Eddie's expression here and after a rewatch I'll be able to tune into exactly what it is a bit more but something is up here with the line "She's your sister" following Buck's "What was I supposed to do? She begged me not to tell him that we talked":

Plus, I think it's interesting that Eddie later says the line "Or you don't know her the way he does" (when in conjunction with this whole scene):

And last but certainly not least, *drumroll please*...

"This time, maybe she's the one who needs taking care of."

He's fucking telling Buck here 'You took care of me last time in season 3 when I needed it, I'm going to take care of you this time'. And they do the fucking slowest of slow zoom ins to both Eddie and Buck to see if Buck understands how this goddamn callback has now reversed their dynamic, if Buck gets what Eddie was telling him. I WAS FUCKING SCREAMING!!!!!!!!!! Eddie is literally out there putting himself on the line but doing it as close to safe as possible. HE'S TELLING BUCK 'IT'S MY TURN NOW TO BE THERE FOR YOU LIKE YOU WERE FOR ME WHEN I NEEDED YOU'!!!!!!!! (and sadly, Buck didn't get it, or if he did we didn't see it)

And then right after "You think he's gonna forgive me?" (ON THE CALLBACK SCENE TO 3x09 WHERE BUCK APOLOGIZED TO EDDIE, DON'T MIND ME I'M JUST DYING OVER HERE) "No." *then he sees Buck's literal wounded puppy face* "I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Maybe." (aka "Not that you didn't deserve it but I wouldn't do that...you're on blood thinners.") And then the whole "Ice goes on the eye, bud." (because Buck had stopped icing his eye, because Eddie cares but has to be careful right now about how he shows it) Because Buck has a black eye due to Chim taking a swing at him (aka Eddie wanting to take a swing at Buck because he deserved but he would never do that). The show literally chose for this conversation to happen revolving around Buck getting a black eye from a punch that Chimney gave him.

And ladies, gentlmen, and gentletheys, you have your contrast on the relationships between Eddie and Buck, and Buck and Chim.

Buck and Chim are brothers. They have been for a while and we've seen it displayed time and time again. They also have a friendship. Chimney didn't hold back from taking a swing at Buck because Buck deserved it (sorry, I get why Buck did what he did but still, that doesn't make it right).

Buck and Eddie are friends. And according to the naysayers and their bullshit, they're also brothers. When Buck deserved a punch for what happened back in season 3 (the lawsuit arc, again I get why Buck did what he did but I also couldn't blame Eddie and Bobby for being angry), Eddie didn't give it to him though he wanted to (aka Eddie beating up the guy over the parking space). And when Eddie started to lose his temper at Buck (before they were interrupted by the fight over the parking space ironically), he knew then that Lena was right, he needed an outlet for his anger, and went to the underground fights instead while the 118 and Buck went to the rage room. THE CONTRAST IS RIGHT THERE. He didn't want to hurt Buck even though he felt Buck "deserved it". And considering how we've seen the difference in temperaments between Eddie and Chim, Chim would have been the last person to take a swing. But because Chim was affected by Buck's decision to keep things quiet about Maddie (just like Eddie was affected by Buck's decision to cease all contact with the lawsuit back in season 3), he reacted and took the swing.

Literally, these characters' season 3 arcs are coming back and I fucking love it. From Eddie to Athena to Bobby to now Buck (plus Taylor as Abby, and Ana aka Shannon 2.0 being gone now) -- they literally are sailing us into the home stretch.

And we all remember how season 3 ended:

We're literally in the fucking home stretch. We may not get full on Buddie by the end of the season (though I think there's a good chance we might) but Eddie's feelings are definitely coming out this season and we are getting more Buckley Diaz family at some point. IT. IS. COMING.

Eddie is coming for that family, and he is coming hard. And I'm going to enjoy every second of it.

#911 season 5 #buddie #buck x eddie #911 fox #buddie meta #911 5x04 #eddie is in love with buck #911posts

[apocalypticgargoyle]

Hi I need to ask a favor of you... Can we get like,,, the reader trying to set cc!dream up with a friend of theirs and he actually likes the reader so we get like dream trying to say that he likes the reader. Idk if this makes sense but I just want a dramatic like "ARE YOU DUMB" moment. Thank u, I'll exit the stage.

Okay so long story short, I had a series about Dre that I was going to write (like a million years ago even before e!k) and I tuned up the confession scene because it fit with the request. Idk idk. It was back when I was having my romance novel phase. N E WAY. happy reading :) ♡ g

𝐄𝐆𝐎 & 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐏𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍. ♘ 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

± warnings: language, angst, being so overdramatic, mentions of rivals to lovers, being in a shower, kinda cringe ngl

Dream eyed you over his glass from across the table, his legs long enough that he was invading your space beneath the surface. His green eyes burned into you, which you attempted to let roll off your shoulders innocently. Your friend was talking up Sapnap, completely destroying your plan put in place. It seemed like Dream could tell what you were up to as well, and by the look he was sending your way and the tension in his shoulders, you could tell he wasn’t in the mood for it. Sapnap asked the girl beside you how she was doing in her classes and before he could boast about his own achievements, you butted in. “You know, Clay’s ranked fourth in our sociology class.” Dream rolled his eyes as your friend’s brow perked at your statement.

She cracked a grin in his direction. “Oh really? You some kind of a genius?” She joked, tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear.

Dream chewed the inside of his cheek and folded his hands together on the table, uncomfortable now that you had shifted the subject matter to him. “Uh, I wouldn’t say that. It’s an intro course so…” he mumbled. She hummed in response and he wet his lips.

You jumped into the small bit of silence. “Come on, don’t downplay! He’s also helped me pass calculus last year,” you boasted. Dream shut his eyes briefly as if it were taking every ounce of his being not to scold you. You didn’t care.

“That’s awesome! I’m actually a mathematics major,” your friend eased. “Maybe if you are some kind of genius you could help me figure out homeomorphically irreducible trees sometime,” she jousted with a small wink. Dream chuckled and you thought maybe… finally… they were clicking. You knew you were right, you knew they were a perfect match. Dream just had to put forth a bit more effort.

Dream’s eyes flashed to you again briefly, as if a symbol of telling you he’d kill you for pushing this. “Oh, I don’t know anything about math really, but Sapnap knows a lot of the math professors,” he turned over with a soft smile, sending your friend back into Sapnap’s metaphorical tract. The two started rambling to each other and Dream shot you a dirty look. “Cut it out,” he bit, barely loud enough for you to even hear. You took this as a challenge.

Another round of drinks came to the table, Dream had yet to completely finish his first as it seemed like something was weighing on his mind. You had gotten into the habit of picking up every subtle tick he had and picking at it. You silently listened to the conversation between Nick and your friend as it wound down, giving you the opportunity to strike up something else about Dream. “So Clay, what was your beer pong average last semester?” You asked, taking a sip from your straw innocently.

He sent you a deadpan expression, but Sapnap answered for him. “Oh, trust me, Clay’s the one you want on your team at every frat party,” he praised. You knew how much your friend liked the whole idea of winning pointless party games.

“I think it’s time I walk you home,” Dream mumbled after standing before you could answer. You followed him out of the restaurant, sending your friend and Sapnap an awkward grin. They had barely noticed anyway; too caught up in their own conversation. You jogged a bit to catch up to Dream as he shoved his fists in his pockets. “What the hell is wrong with you?” He grumbled.

You furrowed your brows, nudging his arm playfully. “What do you mean? I’m trying to get you laid!” You chided. He rolled his eyes again. “Loosen up! Come on, she’s pretty isn’t she.”

Dream sighed deeply. “Of course she’s pretty. Just quit with meddling in my sex life,” he hissed.

You laughed mockingly. “You are so tightly wound!” He pushed the door open to your building. You could tell you were pushing his buttons as he pursed his lips instead of firing something back at you. “You’re such a killjoy,” you joshed, pinching his side.

He swatted your hand away, attempting to ignore you. “Quit.”

“Fine, whatever. Go home and make fast with your hand.” That was it---the last push.

Dream grabbed your arm and yanked you down the hall behind him. You could practically see the steam rolling off his shoulders as he turned a corner and you began to grow tense. You knew he'd never hurt you but the sheer anxiety of what he was going to do next weighed on your conscience. Had you gone too far this time? You'd pushed him past his limit before, but he'd never taken you with him when he needed to remove himself from the situation.

You were shocked as he threw open the door to the communal showers, your brows knitting together in confusion as you began to claw at his hand. "Clay, stop! What are you doing?" You gritted, struggling against his grip. He threw open one of the stall doors and tossed you inside, your back hit the linoleum tiling with a quiet thump and you glared at him with scolding eyes as if to bite ‘don't you dare touch me’ into his skin.

He pursed his lips as if his anger was threatening to boil over and he turned the knob behind you, instantly soaking you and your clothes in freezing water. You painstakingly jumped for the dial and he grabbed your arm again, pulling you inches from his face. "You need to cool the fuck down. I'm serious!" He snapped.

Your eyes felt like they were going to pop out of your head in disbelief at the audacity he had. His jaw tensed as he glared at your features and you drew his arm closer, turning on your heel so he replaced you in the water. His reaction was subtle to the dowsing; instead, he released his grip on you. "What the hell is your problem!" You yelled. This was unknowingly becoming your breaking point. You hadn't woken up that day and realized today is the day I choose violence but Dream's medieval form of communicating with you was striking a hidden nerve.

"My problem? MY PROBLEM?" He let out an exasperated sigh, turning slightly to twist the knob for hot water before laying into you. Why he didn't just turn off the water was unbeknownst to you. "My problem is you!"

You rolled your eyes heavily. "Me?" You tsked at him. "Why don't you get a fucking life-"

"Are you really that fucking stupid?" He bit. Your disgusted look you made sure to exaggerate twisted something behind his eyes. The shower began to produce steam over his shoulders. Dream's hair had begun hanging in short ringlets around his ears. His long-sleeved t-shirt clung to his body enough that you could see every dip in his chest. Every breath he drew in to calm himself down rippled through his silhouette. In the slightest way, it seemed as if the dragon was finally baring his soft underbelly to you.

His hands balled into fists at your look of disbelief at him calling you dumb. He groaned deeply, bringing his palms to his eyes and gritting his teeth. He then pushed his fingers into his wet hair, plastering it back from framing his face. Dream's bright eyes studied you with his features set in stone. "How could you not realize?" He let out a short exhale, his hands seemingly gripping for his own thoughts as they moved with his search of words. "I know you aren't as aloof as you put off. I know you know that I-" he stopped himself short with an aggressive shrug of his shoulders. It was almost humoring to see him standing like a wet dog in front of you and at a loss for words. That big head of his was proving to be a difficult landscape for him to form sentences. "... That I-" he bit into his lip, frustration settling into his brow.

You rolled your eyes again, your wet clothes feeling uncomfortable as they began to shrink against certain parts of your body. The steam from the water was enveloping the two of you in the small space, but your close stance kept a breath of clearance in your visions. "Spit it out, Clay. Obviously, I'm too dumb to put two and two together. You're gonna have to man up and get over it," you snapped and his eyes flashed up to the ceiling.

He gritted his teeth again. "Fuck. What am I trying to say?" He hissed. The gears in his head were beginning to rust with overstimulation, and you could tell. He was hesitant as if debating what would be his next move. The tall man before you was slowly unraveling into unarticulated emotions. The minuscule thought tugged at your mind that Dream was attempting to tell you he felt something for you. It was oddly satisfying to juxtapose your ill-fated seven minutes in heaven experience when you had met him with the close, wet atmosphere you were in now. Even back then Dream couldn't figure out what to say.

He swallowed, his anger had melded into something less aggressive and more inwardly scorning. "I care about you," he blurted, his voice coming out uneven. He wasn't nervous and it seemed as if he'd practiced this in the mirror yet was crumbling under the pressure of you actually standing before him. "I care about you," he repeated, his face still tense and severe.

You were taken aback by his simple statement, awaiting his next move. You didn't dare arrest your eyes from his, your mind blurring about what to say to his confession. You knew that was big coming from him at the way it tugged at your heartstrings, making you blush in the ferocity of the steaming stall. The beat of silence was broken as he took a step toward you, taking your face into his large hands in a gentle gesture. His fingers threatened to snake into your hair as his thumb traced the bend in your jaw. Droplets of water fell off of him to splash against your sopping wet clothing, the warmth of his figure nearly pressed against yours sending rushes of goosebumps across the plain of your skin.

His eyes searched yours as he hesitated, as if savoring being close enough to taste you, yet the anticipation of sealing the fated and quarrelsome air between the two of you with his kiss was nearly too unrealistic for his mind to comprehend. The pad of his thumb brushed lightly against the flesh of your bottom lip as if he were wondering if the shade was their true color, all of his movements completely foiling the way he'd always handled you.

His look of desire and unsteadiness gave him the appearance of an explorer wandering around a foreign planet with the consistency of practice but restraint. You'd heard other girls talking about being with Dream---a fumbling night of drunken fun or a quick use and jading---but the Dream standing before you now seemed to be his own breed. You let your mind flicker to the fantasy that maybe the boy itching to mark you was a figment of him reserved and stocked only for you.

You found yourself leaning on your toes as his eyes began to close, drawing you in with his subtle caress. The water thundered down against him as his towering frame shielded you from the shower, the sound of its stream bouncing off the floor and your matted articles of clothing mixing with Dream's soft breath. As he pressed his lips against yours, it seemed like he was hesitant as if you'd snatch yourself away from his cradling like you always had, but sure enough, your sneakers were glued to the floor beneath you. Wherever you were going in the next few minutes would be to follow his lead.

His fingers dipped into your locks, bringing you deeper into his gesture of passion. Your mind clicked into the reality of the situation as your shoulders sank into a sense of calmness. Your hands found purchase around his waist, wanting to reassure him that you were reading his actions as your fingers traced the lines and dips in his back.

He kissed you with a needy passiveness that bled into the echoing taste of mint, bitter coffee, and the soft embrace of his mildly chapped lips. You'd been close enough to him in the past to dig your nose into his clean scent, but as he pressed against you, it was all you could focus on. He kissed you as if his lips were studying to be experts on your own; a kneading of exploratory gentleness met with a keen sense of wanting to pour everything unsaid between the two of you into this action. It was like he hungrily wanted to know the curvature of your mouth like the back of his hand.

He broke away from you breathlessly and your floating sense of calm clouded and compacted your words. You hesitated to open your eyes as you felt him settle his forehead against yours, not wanting to extract himself from you yet. You subtly enjoyed the fact of sharing air with him as you drew in a deep breath, the taste of him still lingering in your mouth. You wanted that taste to live on your tongue.

Clay stepped back, shrugging out of your hold reluctantly. His hand moved to settle over his mouth as if he was silently apologizing for the suddenness of that action. Your mind was running wild with the thought of him. You parted your lips, stunned enough that you could barely remember how to stand on your own let alone string together a sentence.

He swallowed, rubbing the back of his neck and avoiding your eyes. "I- um," his tongue darted across his lips and you yearned at the fact that you wanted to be pressed against him again, selfishly needing to be tangled among his long limbs or you'd surely die. "I'll see you around," he stated, undoubtedly noticing how verklempt you were and what kind of effect he'd had on you.

He moved to step around you and your eyes glued to where he was standing before. He halted when his shoulder brushed against yours, his gaze turning to trace against your features as you struggled to meet his eyes. You knew he was biting back a smirk as he went on his way again, leaving you to decompose at the mental imagery of him.

You heard the door swing shut behind him and you pushed your wet hair away from your face, turning off the water. As you stepped from the stall, you met eyes with a girl who perked an eyebrow in your direction. She froze in the middle of brushing her teeth, having obviously seen Clay leave, and at the sight of you, she smirked. “Alright, alright. I see you, Elizabeth Bennett,” she winked, swaying a bit before continuing on with her routine.

Dream Tag List: (follow this link to be added ;))

@karlkitten @pluto-dizzz @more-like-reyna @honk-izzie-was-taken @marrymetheonott @froggyy06 @ghoulandghost @savingpluto @marshmallow-babe @drunkpumpkincake @unstableye @tinyegg @behzzyboo @darphobic @twist3dtinkerbell @sparkletash @lindsayhunz @shroomieissmall @mintmochiii @clubfairy

#dream imagine #dream x reader #dream fluff #dream x you #dream x y/n #dreamwastaken imagine #dreamwastaken fluff #dreamwastaken fanfic #mcyt imagine #mcyt fluff #mcyt x reader #mcyt x you

[ketamineharry]

I Love Me - Harry Lewis

Requested - Yes ~ can I request an ethan/Harry one where the reader is curvy (bigger boobs/bum/hips etc) compared to Talia + Freya and the other girlfriends and they are on holiday with everyone and the reader feels a bit insecure and scared of what everyone will think when they look at photos, have photo shoots and insta comments, love you and your writing!! 🤍

Trigger Warnings: Body image issues, self-confidence issues

Authors Note: This was originally requested as a holiday, but I changed it slightly as my most recent imagine was a holiday themed one. I hope you don’t mind!

As you entered the restaurant, an uneasy feeling took over you. Usually, being seen out in public with your friends, and your boyfriend Harry wouldn’t phase you — but over lockdown, you had put on a few pounds. Expressing your emotions in a healthy way, had never been your forte so when the lockdown restrictions hit, instead of going to the local pub to drink your sorrows away, with a group of friends you had turned to eating. Comfort eating had become the norm whenever you felt sad, lonely, happy, or to put it more accurately whenever you felt anything.

While you had been piling on the pounds, Talia and Freya, had been keeping to a strict fitness regime. So naturally, they looked incredible. While you just felt deflated. To make matters worse, this was a Sidemen dinner, meaning that not only were there going to be pictures, but eyes were going to be firmly on your table.

Instinctively, as you walked you grabbed for Harry’s hand. Thankfully, he was slightly in front of you, so you could hide yourself behind his broad frame. As soon as your fingers entwined, you found a sense of serenity; despite how short lived that may have been.

As the others crowded around the table, trying to figure out seating arrangements, you focussed your energy in trying to remain calm. All you wanted was to have a seat on the outskirts, so that you wouldn’t have to participate in the group Instagram photos. The self-loathing from the way you looked in this moment was enough to fuel your insecurities for a good few months, you certainly didn’t need the constant reminder on Instagram too.

Luckily, you managed to secure the seat you wanted. Josh, being the father of the group dictated where everyone else was going to sit. Usually, there was a rule of thumb that you sat in couples; but you had ended up sitting in between JJ and Freya. Harry was on the opposite side of the table, his phone in one hand, completely engrossed in an app, knowing him it was most likely Twitter. However, in this seating arrangement you felt sick. Your one lifeline, although not ridiculously far from you, had been cut off. You were going to have to brave this one out.

The waiter approached the table and introduced themselves. He had a cheery disposition until they made eye contact with you, their fake customer service smile fading as he served you his best judgemental glare. It lasted a split second, but you knew what it meant. The feeling of being out of your depth was confirmed in that look, it wasn’t just you that felt it, it was felt by those looking in on this dynamic of people. Why would they want to associate themselves with you?

“And for the lady?” He asked, glancing over at you again. His demeanour changed once more. You remained silent for a moment, mulling over whether to ask for what you actually wanted or order something that you didn’t want to avoid more disapproving glares.

“May I suggest the chicken caesar salad.” He adds, knocking you out of your stream of consciousness.

“That would be lovely thank you.” You respond. The last thing that you wanted was to cause a scene. In fact, the thing you wanted most was to be ignored, unseen. It was blatantly obvious what everyone was thinking, where their stares ended up… all on you.

The plates of food started to arrive, being placed before everyone. You looked around, envious. Their food all looked insanely good, Talia had mac and cheese while Freya had a vegetarian lasagne. To say that you were covetous, as you chowed down on some lettuce, was an understatement. Just some flavour would have been nice.

The same waiter came back to see if anyone wanted any desserts, Harry ordered a chocolate cake with some whipped cream and Freya ordered a cheesecake, Ethan wanted a coffee, the others weren’t really bothered though. What was made apparent, was that you weren’t even asked by the waiter.

Freya turned to you, a sympathetic look on her face. “Are you ok?” She asked, as she placed a hand on your shoulder and gave it a slight squeeze.

“Yeah, everything’s fine.” You mumbled unconvincingly, certain that Freya could pick up on how you were feeling. She had been sitting next to you the entire time after all.

“Let’s go to the ladies yeah? I’ll just text Josh to let him know what’s going on.” She said, as she retrieved her phone from her bag. She quickly sent the text before she grabbed your hand and directed you to the bathroom.

Freya held the door open for you, as you both walked inside, she went over to the sinks and climbed up on top of them. Crossing her arms. Inspecting you slightly.

“So, spill… what’s wrong with ya?” She questioned, with a small reassuring smile.

You took a deep breath in and out, as you tried to steady yourself. As much as you loved Freya, talking about your feelings to anyone was a challenge that you faced daily. It was hard enough being open with Harry about your feelings, and he was the person that you trusted most. Never mind one of your closest friends.

“I hate the way I look.” You confessed, as you subconsciously started to tug at the dress you were wearing. It all of a sudden felt too tight, too claustrophobic, as if the material had shrunk from the time it took you to walk from your table into the bathroom.

“You and Talia, you are both gorgeous and slim. I’m not that way at all. You can wear whatever you want and look good. If I so much as looked at a belly top, people would be disgusted.”

Freya remained silent, letting you ramble on about how much you hated your body and what you looked like. How out of place you felt and what you wish you could change about yourself. When you were finally finished, she jumped down off of the counter and engulfed you in a hug.

“Don’t you ever, ever feel like you aren’t good enough. You are the funniest person I have ever met. You make me belly laugh every single day. You spread so much positivity, and you make sure that everyone around you feels loved. I am slim, but do you know what… I’d kill for a rack like yours.” She whispered, as she comforted you.

“As for that asshole waiter who has been making you feel like shit all night, don’t think that no-one else has noticed it, because they have. They’re all too polite to embarrass him in public, but trust me, he’ll get his comeuppance. Now, wipe those tears and let’s go show him what a fucking bad ass bitch you are.” She laughed, as she grabbed your hand once again, as she led you back out to the table.

The bill was laid out on the table, the seven cards were placed on top of it as you rejoined the group.

“Here she is.” Harry beamed, as he reached out for you. You went and gave him a hug, before taking your seat again.

As the waiter collected the bill, Harry called him over. “I’d like to give you a cash tip, can you follow me outside so I can draw the cash out?” He asked. The waiter nodded, a gleam in his eye. Harry gave you a gesture, letting you know to follow him.

Once you were outside, how cold it was finally hit you. It made you recoil into yourself.

“Yeah, the tip I wanted to give you was to never, and I mean never try to ridicule my girlfriend about anything.” Harry said, swiftly connecting his right fist to the waiters cheek.

“Run.” He shouted, as he grabbed your hand, your feet pounding on the floor until you reached the car. You were both panting, leaning on each other for support.

“You do know you’re still a ten out of ten to me. No matter what.” Harry smiled, as he placed a kiss to the top of your head. “Now let’s go and get a McDonalds, because I know you’re still hungry and it’s your favourite.”

#harry lewis #sidemen #w2s #sidemen x reader #harry lewis x reader #harry lewis imagine #w2s imagine #w2s x reader #wroetoshaw #sidemen imagine

[j-j-ehlby-writes]

Almost (c.e.)

Pairing: Chris Evans x reader

Word Count: ~5.9k

Summary: You and Chris were set up on a blind date by your mutual friends. Sparks flew, but you never heard from him again. Two years later, you come face-to-face with him once more for their friends wedding.

Warnings: Some angst, swearing, not much else

A/N: This is a mixture of the movie “Life as We Know It” (mmm Daddy Josh Duhamel 🤤), a dating experience I had, and one scene from One Tree Hill. Enjoy.

My Masterlist

                    Two years ago…

My heart is pounding all the way to my ears. My hands are shaking under the table. My knee bounces uncontrollably as I wait.

I knew this was a bad idea. Why did I let her convince me to do this?

“You haven’t had a boyfriend for as long as I’ve known you.” My best friend so pointedly mentioned when we were out to lunch last week.

 “What’s wrong with that?” I counter.

“I’ve known you for three and a half years.” She deadpans. Even without looking at her, I know she has her eyebrow raised at me and her lips are pursed.

“Your point?” I know she thinks my serious lack of companionship these past few years is wearing on me, but it’s been quite the opposite. Not being attached is freeing. I can do what I want when I want; I don’t have anyone to answer to. If I want to sleep until 3 on a Saturday, I’m going to do it. If I don’t want to socialize with anyone, I won’t. If I want to take a spontaneous road trip, I’m going to do it. My life is my own and that’s how I like it.

“I want my best friend to have someone to experience life with.”

My shoulders dropped, sighing in defeat. There was no way I was getting out of this conversation.

“I want you to be as happy as I am.” I see the love in her eyes as her mind goes to her boyfriend and their new relationship. They’ve only been together for a few months, but I know that this is it for her. She’s a smitten kitten and he is equally as infatuated with her. They’re sickeningly cute. “Which is why I think you need to meet one of his friends-”

“Lemme stop you right there,” I interrupt her, “I hate blind dates.”

“You’ve never been on one.”

“And there’s a reason for that.” She rolled her eyes at me. “They’re cliché, they’re awkward for both parties, and they never amount to anything, thus being a total waste of time.”

She sighed, “Ever the skeptic.”

“And don’t you forget it.”

“Regardless,” she continues, “I think you’ll really like this guy. He’s already expressed interest in you.”

Like that makes everything better. “Great so now I have to live up to his impossible expectations of me when I know absolutely nothing about him.” As if the idea of a blind date wasn’t bad enough, now it’s only a semi-blind date. There’s no doubt in my mind that she has hyped me up impossibly high, that’s what a best friend is for. However, when your confidence level is next to none and already skeptical of the pending meeting, there’s no way he’ll like who I am in reality.

“I can tell you anything you want to know about him.” She is bargaining with me. She really wants me to meet this guy. She wouldn’t be trying this hard if she didn’t believe we would hit it off.

“Well is he nice?” This was the only real question I had. If he isn’t kind then there’s really no future.

“Incredibly!” She continues to tell me of the many things he has done for a charity he started a few years ago and slowly but surely she was starting to convince me. If he was that generous then he has to have a good heart and therefore is a good man.

How bad could it be?

I check my phone, glancing at the time. Great, he’s late. That can’t be a good start.

Numerous reasons why popped into my head.

Reason one: he saw me and bolted.

Reason two: he got into an accident on the way here and he could be in the hospital.

Reason three: he changed his mind and decided to stand me up.

More and more played through my head as I sipped my drink. 

By the time I was on my second drink, I was convinced he wasn’t showing up. I knew this was a ridiculous idea. I knew I shouldn’t have done this. I never should have listened to her.

I chugged the rest of my drink followed by some water before standing up to leave some cash. I was slightly humiliated for actually thinking this would be any different than all of my expectations.

My shoulder rammed into another as I turned to leave.

“Oh my, God, I’m so sorry!” A hand steadied me, gently grabbing the shoulder he ran into. “Are you okay?”

“My already small ego is a little bruised, but I think I’ll live.” I looked up to meet my assaulter’s eyes and immediately I froze.

Holy shit, it’s Chris Evans.

His piercing blue eyes were staring right at me, his concern was directed towards me. In all of his charming, ray of sunshine, bearded glory, he was here.

“I’m so sorry that I’m late. Traffic was insane over the bridge. I would have called but I don’t have your number.” He half-smirked but not in a cocky way. I’d seen him do it in interviews before. He could have come up with a lame excuse, but somehow I knew he was telling the truth.

“No, it’s okay. I understand completely.”

He sighed in relief, his gorgeous and perfect smile taking over his features. He looked down at the table and it disappeared. “Were you leaving?”

“Uh,” I stammered, “I was because I thought I was being stood up.”

“I feel awful. Please let me make it up to you. Let’s sit down, have a nice dinner, and get to know each other.”

I hesitate, now even more nervous than I was before.

As if sensing my hesitation, he decided to sweeten the pot a bit to persuade me, “We can even get dessert.”

I chuckle at his attempt. That’ll do it though. I sit back down with him following suit, finally starting our date.

We talked about everything. Anything and everything. No topic was off limits. Hours went by but it felt like minutes. We didn’t even know how long we’d been there until our waiter came to tell us that the restaurant was closed. We left and walked around the city until the night sky was giving way to the morning. He accompanied me back to my car, gave me the best hug I’ve ever received and a kiss on the cheek, promising we’ll get together again soon, and opening and closing my car door for me. I drove away with the biggest smile on my face and literal butterflies in my stomach. That was the best date I’d ever been on.

When I made it back to my apartment with the early morning rays peeking through my shades, I had a text message waiting for me from him. Just a simple good night, he had had an amazing time, and he couldn’t wait to see me again.

I fell asleep, hopeful. Hopeful that I would see him again, that this could maybe go somewhere. I don’t want to get ahead of myself, but it was hard not to. I hadn’t felt this way in an exceptionally long time. I haven’t been on this good of a date in equally as long. I can’t wait to see him again…

                      Present day...

I finally pull into the parking lot after an hour stuck in traffic. My 12-hour day at work today has taken a lot out of me. I’m exhausted, mentally and physically. Thankfully though, my 2-week-long vacation starts tomorrow. After that, I have fourteen days of no working, no getting up at the ass crack of dawn to be able to drive in miserable traffic, no dealing with difficult or boring co-workers. Just fourteen days of rest and relaxation, after the wedding of course.

My best friend and her fiancé are getting married on Saturday. I’ve watched them go through all of their highs and lows throughout the last few years and when he came to me telling me he planned on proposing, I couldn’t have been happier for them. He even asked me to secretly photograph the moment for her. She was more than surprised about everything.

Now their wedding is here and everyone couldn’t be more excited to celebrate them.

Tomorrow is their rehearsal dinner. The wedding party and their plus ones are all invited.

I walk into my apartment, immediately relieving myself from the confines of my shoes. A heavenly scent registers to me and I’m carried all the way to the kitchen. I see my sexy boyfriend standing at the stove with his back towards me.

“Hey babe,” he calls without turning around.

I hum, happily making my way towards him. I wrap my arms around his waist, placing a kiss on his back. “What is that unbelievable smell?”

He chuckles, vibrating through his chest. “Your favorite, of course.”

I hum again, “You spoil me, baby.”

He chuckles again, turning in my arms. His handsome face finally came into view. His gorgeous brown eyes look into mine as I get lost in his. For the past year, I’ve been the happiest I’ve been in a while. Since the day I met him, it was like everything fell into place. He’s sweet, ambitious, funny, kindhearted, passionate, and just overall the best man I had ever met. He makes me so happy…

Oh who am I kidding? He’s perfect. He is everything I ever wanted. If I made a list of all of the qualities I wanted in a husband, he would check off every single box.

But the feelings I have had for him over the last year are nothing compared to what I had in one night for him. I find myself wishing his eyes were bright blue instead of dark brown. I wish his arms were around me instead of the ones around me right now. The butterflies from that night have stayed dormant ever since.

I don’t know what happened after that night. I honestly thought we had a good time that night. Conversations flowed seamlessly. We made each other laugh so hard we had tears running down our faces. The physical connection was there- at first he had his arm around my shoulders as we walked around town, but as time went on he slowly moved lower around my waist, eventually intertwining our hands together until we arrived back at our cars. He even said that he wanted to see me again.

But I never heard from him again after that one text message. No call, no text, not even a message from my friend’s boyfriend. Nothing. I was disappointed beyond belief. I didn’t think he was that guy: the type to ditch someone without any explanation or goodbye. I thought I understood him to be a gentleman. Everything I had read about him pointed to him being one of the purest humans in the world. This was the opposite of all of that.

From that day on, I’ve loathed him. He gave me the perfect evening and then cut me off cold turkey from anything further. I have a three strike rule. His first: he was late. His second: he tricked me into liking him. His third: he lied to me. Three strikes and he’s out.

I have tried not to look back since. It’s not without its difficulties though since he’s literally everywhere. On magazine covers, in commercials, movie trailers, streaming services- he’s there. Why did he have to be such a successful actor? If he weren’t, it would make for forgetting him that much easier.

No closure. No answers. Nothing.

The rehearsal dinner went smoothly the next night which hopefully was foreshadowing for the big day itself. 

A majority of us were standing around about to start when the doors loudly being opened drew everyone’s attention away from our milling about. A man stood in the middle of the doorway then strode in like he owned the place. The closer he got, the more the details of his face came into focus.

No. Freaking. Way.

I look toward my best friend. She looked like she wasn’t shocked he was late, but she knew he was coming. I creep up behind her and clear my throat. Instantly she cringed.

“Did you forget to tell me something?” I whisper to her.

She sends me an apologetic smile, “Well, I actually put off telling you ‘cause I didn’t know how you would react and then I meant to tell you last night but with the whole ‘I’m getting married in two days’ buzz took over and now the rehearsal is here-”

“Just please tell me I’m not walking in with him.” I beg.

She chuckles nervously before she escaped to go greet him with her fiancé.

I turn to her sister who is also one of my closest friends. “Did you know he was going to be a groomsman?”

The guilt written in her face tells me everything I need to know. “She made me promise not to tell you.”

I groan, “The loyalty level around here is staggeringly low.”

I head over to where my boyfriend is standing and take comfort in his arms before I have to deal with the man who broke my heart.

“Are you okay?” He asks a little confused by my actions.

I nod, “Just tired from last night.” He chuckles at the mention of the night before, squeezing me into his chest.

“Alright everyone! Time to get started.” The wedding coordinator beckons us all to the back entrance of the barn standing next to our corresponding wedding party member. I stand right in front of the Maid of Honor and Best Man. I kept my eyes forward focusing on anything but the guy who took his place next to me.

“It’s good to see you,” He murmurs to me over the instructions of the coordinator.

I scoff and roll my eyes. He has the nerve to say that to me after two years of silence. I imagined a million times what it would be like to see him again. I’d imagined a lot of screaming with possible hitting. Or I thought about the ever-effective, old fashioned silent treatment. He doesn’t deserve to know that our one night out together effected me so much and I’ve carried a rather large torch for him ever since. At the very moment, it will be the latter, but there’s no telling what tonight and tomorrow will bring.

“Now ladies, rest- don’t grab- your hand near the crook of his arm. Men, keep your arm at that angle with an open hand resting on your stomach- no fist. And don’t forget to smile- this is a happy day!” As quickly as he showed up, the coordinator was on to the bride and her father before either of us could register he was there.

I begrudgingly did as I was instructed, “resting” my hand on his bare forearm, holding a stand-in bouquet for the occasion in my other hand.

“Are you not going to talk to me?” He speaks again but I ignore him once more.

Thankfully that was when it was our turn to walk down the aisle. For the rest of the rehearsal, he didn’t get a chance to say anything else. As soon as we were done, I go straight for my boyfriend. I figured there’s no way he would approach me if I were with another man.

We all head to the restaurant afterwards to celebrate the last night before our friends begin their lives together as husband and wife. I keep my distance from Chris, always sticking close with my boyfriend.

The one moment I was alone was when I went to the bathroom. I thought for the few minutes I wouldn’t be in danger.

However I was wrong.

As soon as I step out an arm shot out in front of me. A very pale muscular arm.

“Are you seriously going to ignore me for the next two days?”

I duck under his arm fully planning on continuing what I set out to do.

“Y/N,” he grabs my arm, “will you please talk to me? What did I do to make you so mad at me?”

I whip around hopefully sending daggers his way. “Are you serious right now?”

“She finally speaks!” He exclaims.

“Because I cannot believe what I’m hearing. Like, I don’t think I heard you right.” All of the feelings I’ve been burying for two years were making their way up to the surface and I don’t think I can stop them. “We had a fantastic night. It was literally the best night of my life, it was the most comfortable with a guy that I had ever been. You made me laugh, you gave me butterflies, you helped me feel for the first time in years.” I try to swallow down the lump that was forming in my throat. “You told me you wanted to see me again. You made me excited for the future for once in my life… and then you took it away.”

With every second that passed, his expression got closer and closer to utter defeat: his shoulders slumped, his grip on my arm loosened, his jaw slowly unclenched, his eyebrows furrowed.

“You were late,” I hold up one finger, “You tricked me,” two fingers,” “You lied to me.” Three fingers were up and in front of his face for emphasis. “Three strikes and you’re out.”

I back away from him, having nothing more I wanted to say. As soon as I turned the corner, I felt liberated… for about five seconds. When that passed, devastation hit. For the last two years, I’ve held out hope- I tried not to- but I did, that maybe someday something could happen between us. That maybe, just maybe, we could pick up where we left off that night.

Now that the moment of confrontation has come and gone, I feel all the hope fade away. All of those possibilities I pictured have left the building. Being with him is no longer an option. I have my boyfriend who makes me happy, who gives me everything I could possibly want.

The rest of the night went on without another incident. Chris kept his distance. However, I could feel his eyes on me for every second that passed as we sat at the table. It was a relief when we finally left and could retreat back to our hotel rooms for the night. The bride and I got to stay in a suite that we’ll all be getting ready in in the morning. They wanted to uphold the “not seeing each other the night before the wedding,” even though they’ve lived with each other for a year and a half now.

On the wedding day, everything went according to plan. Everyone was on time to hair and make-up, pictures went flawlessly, the weather cooperated with everything, Chris didn’t attempt to talk to me at all- it was a perfect day to watch two people who love each other commit to the other for the rest of their lives.

But then came the reception. That’s when I knew apparently all bets would be off. The ceremony was over. Niceties would wear off as more and more alcohol is consumed. I was not looking forward to it.

We make our ridiculous entrances and take our seats at the head table. We eat then speeches were made. Lots of laughs were had as the Best Man dished on stories he had with the groom growing up, a few tears were shed at her sister’s after recounting the moment the bride knew he was the man of her dreams- overall I’d say they were a success.

Again, I felt his eyes on me, burning holes in the side of my head from the other side of the groom for the entire dining portion of the evening. I kept myself from glancing in his direction, instead focusing on the conversations with the bride’s sister next to me and my boyfriend who is across the way- anything not to meet his eyes.

Finally the DJ announces it was time for all to convene on the dancefloor after the specialty dances. I immediately see my boyfriend start to stand, knowing he’d been ready for this all night. I’d been looking forward to dancing with him all night as well, I even removed my shoes in anticipation. As I stand up, a hand is held out in front of me. I knew whose hand it was. I remember staring at it as he would rub his lips on our date. The strength of it as it intertwined with mine as we walked down the streets of our town, the safeness I felt as he squeezed it if he detected I was getting anxious around a group of people and I needed the reassurance. I knew that hand well, unfortunately.

“Dance with me?” He nearly whispers in my ear. I didn’t realize he was that close until I could feel said whisper on my neck. I contain the shiver that runs down my spine at how husky his voice is. God I’ve missed that…

No! I will not be enchanted by him again. He does not deserve me.

I exhale the breath I was holding, it comes out a lot harsher than I expected. “No, thank you.” I turn away from him, but his hand gently grabs my arm stopping me from going any further.

He whispers again, “He’s not good enough for you,” before walking away.

I’m frozen in place. I glare at his retreating back as he makes his way over to the bar. My mouth hangs open in disbelief. How dare he… How fucking dare he assume anything about me or my relationship. He doesn’t know anything about what our relationship is like. My boyfriend treats me so well, spoils me even though I know I don’t deserve it. He listens to me, he cares about me, and he makes me laugh until I cry- he’s everything I’ve wanted in a man. Chris is the one who had his chance and subsequently blew it. He has no right to judge or even comment on my relationship when he knows absolutely nothing about it.

I hurriedly make my way to my awaiting boyfriend and pull him onto the crowded dancefloor. “You okay?” He asks me, “Did he say something to upset you?”

“Nothing worth repeating.” All I wanted to do was forget about him and his irrelevant feelings towards my relationship…

…Except I couldn’t. His words rattled me. Does he see something I don’t? He told me on our date that he’s an excellent judge of character so he wouldn’t say something like that unless he got a bad feeling, right? Either that or he said it just to get under my skin and force me to talk to him. No matter the reason I hate him for it because my pride won’t let it stand.

I spot him leaning against the bar, staring directly at the two of us over the rim of his glass. His perfect eyebrow quirks up at the eye contact, that sets my blood to boiling. He thinks he’s so smug. I wish I could just slap that stupid hidden smirk right off his perfect face…

Following a few dances, I mutter something about him going to dance with the bride to my boyfriend before exiting the dancefloor. I rush out of the barn, away from the crowd needing some air from his suffocating gaze. I find a little lit area that’s perfect for pictures. There are rectangular hay bales set together as a makeshift U-shaped bench with some low watt bulbs strung up above between two poles. It would be serene if I weren’t already on edge.

After taking a few deep breaths, I finally feel like I can speak without yelling. “You had no right.”

I didn’t have to turn around to know he followed me out here. It’s exactly what I wanted him to do, just like it was his intention to get under my skin. As much as I wished to avoid this conversation it seems that we can’t go on without it. We may tear each other apart in the process, but this is my chance for closure. This is my only opportunity to get the answers I’ve been needing to move on for the past two years. Two years of wondering what went wrong after the most perfect date I’ve ever been on with an equally perfect man has been eating at my heart and mind. I hated always wondering “what if” or “what would I be doing right now if I were with him” especially when I started dating my boyfriend. I had no answers as to why those questions could not be. I thought with time I’d stop asking them, thinking I’d never see the man again. He’s a big movie star, why would he wonder about a woman he went on one date with?

As I expected, his deep baritone voice comes behind me, but his words do little to ease my nerves. In fact they set them off even more so than before. “I’m sorry.”

I scoff at his half-hearted apology, knowing he doesn’t mean it at all. “Oh bite me, Christopher.” I turn around to face him. God he looks even better out here. The subtle gold glow from the lights are complimenting his skin tone, they make his baby blues shine which just frustrates me more.

“Please, Y/N,-” He takes a step closer to me, but I won’t have that. 

“No,” I take a step back keeping the needed distance between us for fear I may strangle him. “I don’t want to hear any of your bullshit excuses. You had no right to pass judgment on a relationship that you know absolutely nothing about.”

He slips his hands into the pockets of his dress pants. “Oh, I’ve seen enough.”

“Really?” I jut my hip out, resting my hand on it. “In the two days you’ve been here, you think you’ve got us all figured out?”

“Yes,” he answers with conviction. 

My shaking hands clench into fists, trying my damnedest not to lose control. I entangle them into my hair as best as I can without ruining the work the hairstylist did this morning before running them down my face. He has some nerve. 

“We had one night. One night! One nearly perfect night together and suddenly that makes you an expert on what is good for me?”

“I wouldn’t say ‘an expert’-”

“I wouldn’t say anything!” I interrupt, “I never heard from you again. Now after two years, you come in here acting like you know anything about me or my relationship? Who do you think you are?”

“A man who made a mistake!” He snaps.

There was a long pause. I never expected to hear that from him. All these years I wanted to think the worst of him for leaving me hanging like that. He got my hopes up, thinking we may have a future together only for them to come crashing back down to Earth when he never contacted me again. I wondered and wondered if maybe I read the signals wrong. Maybe I took his flirting as more than it was. Maybe the small gestures like his arm around my shoulders, on the small of my back, or the hand holding were only him being friendly. I wracked my brain going over every single detail of the night to try and pinpoint a reason for him not to have called me afterwards. I found nothing, which was equally as frustrating.

“Alright, I made a mistake.” He moves to sit on one of the hay bales. He rests his elbows on his knees and buries his head in his hands, letting out a huge sigh. “God I wanted everything with you.”

Once again, I’m frozen by his words. He what? But that doesn’t make sense. His words and his actions don’t line up- how could that be?

He removes his hands from his face, staring at the grass. “After that night, I wanted it all. I wanted to settle down, get the house with a white picket fence in the suburbs, carry you through the threshold after our wedding day, bring our children home from the hospital, watch them grow until we’re old and gray. I wanted everything.”

My heart aches. All of that was exactly what I wanted, especially with him. I could feel the tears building behind my eyes, my heart breaking mourning the loss of what we could have had by now if he had only said something.

I also find my anger growing as well. If he felt all of that, why did he not contact me again? Why did he give me hope that our night out together could have been the start of something good and then taken it away just as quickly?

“But?” There had to be a “but” coming after his statement. Clearly something stopped him from pursuing the possibility of “us,” destroying any future we could have had.

He sighs, “but…” he finally looks up at me with more emotion in his eyes than I was expecting. There was contemplation, confusion, honesty, agony…

I look away. In an instant I knew what he was about to say. It makes complete sense. He was at the height of his career, shooting movie after movie all around the world for a majority of the year. How would he have had time to have a relationship mixed in with that? He couldn’t.

“Your career was more important,” I interject, “I get it. I do.” I couldn’t fault him for choosing work over someone he just met, no matter how much he claims to have liked me right off the bat. He was going to be busy. We probably wouldn’t have had a lot of time to see each other. It’s not like I could give up my career to follow him. Besides even if I could have, he wouldn’t want that. He said so himself. He wanted someone who was independent; who could do their own thing and not be enveloped in his crazy life.

He stands up and steps closer to me, “no, that wasn’t it. I promise you that wasn’t it.”

There’s that word. Promise. He promised we’d see each other again soon after our night together. But he broke that.

“Then what was it?” My voice cracks at the end. I can feel my reserves slipping the more he speaks. I didn’t realize how much I missed his voice until now. I haven’t seen any of the movies he’s been in the last few years. I have him and his hashtag blocked on all social media platforms so I don’t see anything of his on any of my timelines. My other friends think I don’t like him (only my best friend and her now husband know about our date). To hear it again brings back all of the good memories we made together in that short night and all of the emotions I’ve been holding back since. “I have been wracking my brain for years wondering what went wrong after that.”

“I got scared,” he finally admits the truth. “I got scared of how much I liked you and how much I wanted to protect you.”

“From what?”

“From me,” he casts his gaze down at his hands as he fidgets with them, “and my life. I didn’t want to subject you to the chaos that is my life. I know what my fans would do to you if we were in a relationship, I was trying to protect you from all of the ugly that being with me comes with.”

So that’s what he was afraid of? He was afraid our relationship would inevitably end exactly like his last one? His “fans” were horrible to her. They sent death threats to her and her family members, always commenting negatively on her social media pages all because she was dating him. I remember reading about it right after it happened. I knew that side of his fandom was toxic. But did I care? No. Did I think I couldn’t handle it? I honestly don’t know, but would I have been willing to deal with it for him? Yes. I would have given up anything to be with him. That’s precisely why he did what he did. He didn’t want me giving anything up for him because he knows I’d be giving up any semblance of privacy I had if I were in a public relationship with him.

If I had known these were the reasons why he ghosted me, I would have been broken hearted but I would have understood. Hell, I probably would have fallen more in love with him if I knew that, not fallen in loathe.

He continues, “I thought that if I never contacted you again, you could move on”- he clears his throat-“and find someone better than me who could give you the normal life you deserve. Which as much as I wish I couldn’t, I see that you have…” he pauses as if deciding whether he should keep speaking. When I don’t stop him, he does, “But I can’t help feeling like that could have been me.”

My slightly shaky hands cover his fidgeting ones. His hand moves until he’s intertwining our fingers together, palms touching. They fit perfectly together as if they were each other’s missing puzzle piece. His thumbs stroke mine sending warmth down my arms all the way down to my toes. The sparks I felt back then return with full force. He leans down, pressing his forehead against mine. My heart is beating out of my chest, I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t feel it in some way.

I feel my heart break in my chest. My lip quivers and the tears threaten to make themselves known. My only saving grace is the fact that he can’t see my face. I may lose it completely if he did.

His breath is coming out equally as shaky between us, he squeezes my hands as if he doesn’t want me to let go. Believe me, I don’t want to. I bring one of our interlocked hands up to my lips. I kiss the back of his hand because I can’t kiss him where I want to. I pull back just enough to see his beautiful baby blues that could have any woman in the world swoon. They were terribly bloodshot right now but that only made them more tragically breathtaking. I tear one of my hands out of his and bring it to his cheek. He leans into it, a tear drops into the crevices between the contact.

The barely above whisper that came out was all I could muster without having a total breakdown because he’s right. It could have been him. We could have been something great. We could have built a life together. We could have had it all. And it broke my heart into a million pieces knowing all of this could have been avoided if life had handed both of us different lives.

“It almost was.”

~*~

Taglist: @the-marvel-wars​ @elusive-beauty​ @drakesfiance @im-a-slut-for-an-accent​ @fantasy-is-my-reality​ @princess-evans-addict​

#almost #Chris Evans #christopher robert evans #christopher evans #chris evans x reader #chris evans imagine #chris evans drabble #chris evans oneshot #chris evans x female reader #chris evans x you #chris evans x y/n #jj ehlby writes

[sodasback]

Ex BF - Part 2

Drew Starkey x Reader

Part 1

You guys, I changed my mind, this one just works so much better as a Drew Starkey fic ...so fuck it, I’m just gonna post what I had on my deactivated blog. 

It had been months since you ran into Josh on set at Drew’s work. Luckily, Drew was only in a couple scenes for that project and he only worked on that show one more day without running into Josh. Now, you, Drew and a lot of the Outer Banks crew were all in LA again and going out to a bar.

Unfortunately for you, and everyone that night, Josh and his friends were at the same bar.

“Oh hey, it’s y/n and her movie star boyfriend, Andrew.” Josh said as he appeared next to you and drunkenly leaned an arm on your shoulder. If looks could kill, the look on Drew’s face would have for sure been the death of Josh. It was a mixture of shock and rage at the audacity of this guy. Drew was so taken aback, he didn’t know how to react.

You uncomfortably chuckled and squirmed out from under Josh’s arm to stand in front of Drew quickly, not knowing if Drew’s truly calm nature could be tested any further. “Mhmm, great to see you Josh.” You stated dismissively.

Your effort to separate them was lost as Drew instantly and easily maneuvered you behind him protectively. You turned for the bar as quickly as possible, hoping to end the situation there, so you grabbed Drew’s hand to pull him along with you.

“Aww, y/n/n, you’re not gonna stay and let me get to know your little boyfriend?”

You felt dead weight behind you as you tried to pull Drew away. 

“Bro, I’m telling you right now, back the fuck off.” Drew stated. You whirled around to get in front of him, as Josh took a step forward and titled his chin up, “Or what?”

You put your hands on Drew’s chest. He easily looked over your head to continue glaring at Josh.

“Drew” you said sternly. He glanced down at you for a second, before looking back up at Josh. Josh smirked and waited to see what Drew was gonna do. “He’s not worth it. Trust me.” You said. Drew looked down at you and softened. 

He wrapped an arm around your shoulder an you wrapped both arms around his waist to walk to the bar. 

“You know, as hot as you are when you get all scary like that. I really really don’t want you getting in a fight because I have an absolutely horrible ex boyfriend.” 

You emphasized the first part of this sentence, but Drew just gave you a deadpan stare. He knew you were trying to flirt with him to get him to relax. And you knew it was too late at this point. As evolved and emotionally intelligent as Drew was, he had now entered caveman mode. Josh challenging him because of you triggered instincts deep within him to meet that challenge aka defending your honor. ...1 point toxic masculinity, 0 points non-violent female empowerment.

At this point in your life, you were happy. You had everything you wanted in your career. You had a beautiful apartment. Your family was healthy. You had the best friends you could ask for. And of course, you had Drew. Drew was the one. He was your soulmate. Your best friend. And you knew it. You didn’t feel the need to put Josh in his place any more. You just wanted to keep enjoying your life. You had time to make peace with what Josh did to you and you felt like you moved past it and him. Yeah, you felt like you were past it, you tried to convince yourself. It had been years since the incident happened and you and Josh broke up...

Flashback

You and Josh were 20 and had been on and off for a couple years. One night, you had both been out, when you started fighting, something that wasn’t new to your relationship. Josh had been flirting with another girl a lot of the night and gaslighting you to make you feel like you were imagining it. As you brought up the flirting again, he was reaching for his car keys. You were pissed that he was using this tactic again. He would leave until you calmed down and started to worry about him so much that you would just finally give in and forget the fight, instead of holding him accountable. You were so mad at him for making you feel like you were crazy and for always manipulating you by leaving. You couldn’t stop the words from coming out of your mouth, “Sure, just leave again. Fucking typical, Josh. Like father, like son, I guess.”

And before you could even process what happened, the whole right side of your face was stinging, a cut near eye was bleeding from his ring and your ears were ringing. Josh had just backhanded you hard. Time stood still for a moment as your hand went to cradle your cheek. You were absolutely shocked.

“Oh fuck. You okay?” 

You finally looked up at him with an unreadable expression on your face. “..don’t make this a big deal, okay? That was a really shitty thing to say and you just made me so mad, I couldn’t help i-” At that point, you stormed into the bedroom and locked the door. He now was faced with you being upset and maybe even losing you; he started knocking on the door and apologizing profusely after realizing your reaction. You were completely blocking out all the noise coming from the other side of the door as you tried to gather your thoughts. 

Okay, that was a really low blow. Yeah, but he HIT you.

I definitely shouldn’t have said that. But he HIT you.

Maybe I deserved it. No, he HIT you. You continued to argue with yourself.

What would you tell your y/bff’s/n if this happened to her?

What would your mom or dad tell you right now?

If he did it once, he could do it again.

...this isn’t the first time you’ve been scared of him.

...but he seems genuinely really sorry.

You opened the door to find Josh sitting on the ground leaning against the wall. He looked at you scared and hopeful, tears rolling down his cheeks.

“I’m sorry for what I said. It was really unfair and hurtful of me.” You stated genuinely.

Relief washed over his face for a second, “I’m so sorry baby. I swear that will never happen again.” He said, as he got up and he started to make his way to hug you. 

“Yeah, I know it will never happen again...” you held your hand out to stop him from touching you, confusion now evident in his expression, “because we’re done.”

His face dropped, expression now being somewhere between confused, angry and disappointed. Josh wasn’t used to you putting up boundaries and not letting him get away with all the shit he pulled. “Y/N-” he started. 

“No.” You said adamantly, “Frankly, I don’t care how sorry you are. I don’t care how much I pissed you off. I don’t care how much you promise that will never happen again. Our relationship was toxic before what just happened. I know I’m not perfect and I have a lot of things to work on. But I 1000% know in my bones, that I WILL NEVER let you hit me again. I deserve better. We’re done. I’m going to my parents’ house. I’m coming back tomorrow between 10 and 2 to get my stuff. Don’t be here.”

A couple months later, you had a text from an unknown number. It was Josh borrowing a friend’s phone to text you, since you blocked any way he had to contact you. He apologized. He held himself accountable. There was no deflecting or manipulating in the message and he promised he would never contact you again. You replied: “Thank you for your apology. Yes, I’d appreciate it if you don’t contact me again.”

And that was it. You ran into him briefly at the grocery store once and you had been in a really good mood. Your interaction was light and almost flirty. You felt so ashamed about it later, but you hadn’t seen or heard from Josh again until years later, with Drew on set. And little did you know, seeing you with Drew set something off in Josh that he just couldn’t let go.

-

As you stood at the bar, waiting for the bartender’s attention, you turned to see the caveman version of your gorgeous boyfriend still glaring, his fists clenching and unclenching.

“Babe.” You said and he looked at you.

“He’s got fuckin nerve.” He said shaking his head and you took a deep breath ready for the rant, “First off, called me a movie star. I am a serious actor, Y/N.” 

You couldn’t help but laugh at Drew being offended anything this asshole said and Drew’s eyes widened at you and you stifled a giggle while you laced your hands around his neck to appease him, “Mhmm” you encouraged. 

“And then he called me ‘Andrew’“ Drew went on. And you nodded and gave him a sympathetic pout, “I know, I heard.”

“And THEN, he has the AUDACITY to put his fucking arm around you?! Bro, I’m heateddddd-” He continued, barely paying attention to you as you leaned your body against his. You ignored the fact that he just called you bro and tried a different tact. 

“Drew, stop. You can’t get into a bar fight. Think about your job.”

“I don’t care about my job. I care about you.”

“That’s not true. You do care about your job. And I know you care about me. But if you get into a fight right now, it’s not gonna change what he did to me. It was a long time ago. We’re not together anymore. I’m over it. Punching him is not gonna do anything except jeopardize your future.”

Drew still had his fight face on, “Well, knocking that smirk off his fucking face would sure make me feel better.” He said and you scowled at him. “And for the record, I don’t think you’re over it. And you don’t have to be. You never have to be over it. And that doesn’t mean you aren’t fucking strong and badass.” 

You were quiet as you contemplated what Drew said. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, before looking at you. “Okay” he said softly. 

 “Thank you” you said softly before you pulled him down to kiss him. After a minute of you successfully distracting him with a pretty passionate slow kiss, you felt Drew melt a little. 

“Hey, I’m sorry. Do you want to leave? Like do you not feel like being out anymore?” He asked sweetly.

“No, I’m okay. He’s just being a drunk asshole.” You turned away to grab the drinks the bartender poured for you and Drew, “We probably won’t even see him for the rest of the night.” 

You turned back and realized caveman Drew was now glaring at Josh again as you spoke, “..or not.” You rolled your eyes.

Despite the bad beginning, you and your friends ended up having fun as the night went on. And you and Drew proceeded to drink. Which was probably not the smartest decision. You were both feistier when you drank and you knew Drew’s natural state of calmness was only going to wear off as the night went on.

Eventually, you had to go to the bathroom. But you didn’t trust Josh to not instigate something with Drew while you were gone and you didn’t trust Drew to not try and avenge your honor while you were gone either. So you found Austin, Chase and JD. Chase and JD were only half-listening as they watched whatever game was on the tvs at the semi-crowded bar. 

“Guys, I need you to watch Drew while I go pee.” You said. Drew rolled his eyes and hung his head back with a groan.

“What’s the rig?” Austin asked, ironically using his favorite word as he put one arm on your shoulder and the other on Drew’s.

“Drew is trying to fight my ex-boyfriend and you need to stop him from ruining his career and/or going to jail for assault.” You looked at Drew as you finished your sentence remind him that he could get in serious trouble for getting in a fight. Drew scoffed as Austin looked to him for confirmation of what you were saying.

“He called me a movie star dude” Drew said.

“Oooff” Austin agreed that this was a major dig.

“And then he called me ‘Andrew’“

“Ahhh man” Austin commiserated, “This kid deserves to get hit for sure.”

“Austin!” You scolded, “You are not helping!”

“Bro, that’s not even half of it. Like what he did to Y/N; he deserves to get the absolute shit beat out of him, I promise you-”

“Okay, stop! We’re not discussing this. Chase, JD, you are in charge of Drew. Keep him occupied while I go pee and don’t let him ruin his entire life by getting in a stupid bar fight. And Austin, stop encouraging him and keep your mouth shut til I get back please!” You commanded, as you pushed Drew and Austin toward Chase and JD. JD gave you a salute while he put his arm around Drew’s shoulders. 

While you were gone, Drew was drunk and spilling all your business, trying to get all 3, also drunk, boys on his side. “Guys, you don’t even know. This guy is the biggest asshole.”

“Wait, is he really? Or do you just not like him because he’s y/n’s ex?” JD asked.

“No dude. First of all, he like cheated on her a bunch of times; he was super manipulative and .. he fucking hit her once dude.”

The all looked at each other, “What the fuck?!”

“Like hit her?”

“Yeahhhhhh, like physically hit her face.”

“Well you are completely justified, brother.”

“Yeah, we have your back man, whatever happens.” They all nodded and broke out of their little huddle.

“Look! No fighting!” Chase said proudly when you got back, opening up his arms.

“Good job Chase. Gold star” You said returning his quick side hug.

The group decided it was time to go to one more bar, so you all walked out the back ext into a big alley. Where, of course, Josh and his friends were smoking and noticed your crew before you noticed them.

“You think her movie star boyfriend knows what an uptight little prude she used to be?” Josh said to his friend loud enough for you to hear. You honestly didn’t even care about what Josh said, you knew he was trying to get Drew to react. And you knew even your sweet, soft Drew was not immune to anger getting the best of him. Drew stopped walking, still slightly turned away from Josh and just shook his head, not believing Josh’s audacity. 

Even though the guys had been supportive when they were talking to Drew about fighting Josh, no one actually wanted that to happen. So Austin was quickly by Drew’s side, “Don’t do it bro. It’s not worth it.”

“Drew.” You said trying, to get him to focus on you. Unfortunately, you were with a group of boys full of testosterone and Chase was also feeling feisty and protective. 

“Hey, why don’t you shut the fuck up bro” Chase said, taking a step toward Josh, but luckily a level-headed JD was immediately pushing Chase softly backward. 

“Ooh maybe, she’s not such a prude anymore. Maybe she’s sleeping with the whole cast; they’re all so protective of her.” Josh laughed.

“Josh stop! What the fuck is wrong with you?” You yelled at him. And Drew was instantly moving in front of you, “You need to stop talking right now man.” Drew said in a tone that made the hair on your arms stand up. You could feel the tension rolling off Drew.

“Drew calm down. Please.” You pleaded as he looked down at you.

“Y/n, I can’t let him talk about you that way.”

“He’s trying to get under your skin. That’s what he wants.”

“Yeah, well it’s fucking working.”

“Drew, come on. Let’s just go home.” He began to give in as you pulled his arm. 

Josh was obviously determined for a fight, because the next thing that came out of his mouth made it impossible for anyone to stop Drew.

“Hey good luck with y/n, man. I treated her like trash for years and she still came running back to me, bitch has got issu-” And before he could utter another word, Drew’s fist connected with his jaw. 

“Fuck.” You cursed as your hands went through your hair and you backed up between Austin, Chase and JD.

Josh recovered and hit Drew in the eye. 

You gasped. Turning into JD’s chest and he protectively wrapped his arms around you. Drew hit Josh again and he fell to the ground. Drew bent over him and punched him again. “Don’t you ever fucking talk about her again!” He yelled through gritted teeth, “Don’t look at her again. And if you EVER touch her again, I swear to God-” he spat in between a few more punches. 

“Drew! Please!” You yelled and finally Austin pulled him back. “That’s enough, bro.” 

“Come on” JD still had his arms around you, walking you away from everything. 

Drew was breathing heavy and trying to overcome his adrenaline. You and JD were already around the corner with most of the group. 

“Come on, let’s go” Chase ushered Drew away with Austin. And they followed in the same direction. Drew saw you walking ahead of him. 

“Y/N” he called after you softly. You stopped and turned around. He was already right there enveloping you in his arms. 

“Fuck y/n. I’m so sorry.” He muttered kissing the top of your head. You just kept holding each other while the group called Ubers. 

You pulled away from him a little, “Are you okay?” You asked trying to get a look at the bruise forming on his face. “Yeah, baby. I’m fine. I’m so sorry I did that. I’m sorry I put you in this situation.” He said, hugging you again. After a long pause, you pulled up and looked up at him:

“Thank you.” You stated genuinely and Drew looked at you surprised. But while you continued to look at each other, you both understood without saying anything more. You both knew it wasn’t okay that Drew just got in a fight. And you both knew you didn’t need your boyfriend to defend you honor, but you were thankful someone finally had.

Taglist: @moniamaybank @abbyj1822 @october-cameron @hernameisnoell @railmerafe @stupidpendeja @lemur46 @phantompogues 

#Drew Starkey #drew starkey x reader #Drew starkey x Y/n #drew starkey imagine #outer banks #outer banks fan fiction #obx imagine #obx

[calwrites]

Star Star Tours

Summary: You and Sebastian have been dating for a while now, but the public doesn’t know that yet. Keeping your secret causes some tension on James Corden’s Star Star Tours.

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x actress!reader

This is my first time writing for Marvel, so I hope people enjoy! It’s just something that I wrote really quick, but I love the bus tour video, and I thought this could be a cute story. Also, Sebastian was not in nearly enough of the disposable camera pictures.

It was no secret that press tours could be draining. Being stuck in a room for multiple days while people keep asking you the same questions over and over again even though they know that you can’t really answer them. And considering how big Infinity War is, it was no surprise that there were even more interviews than usual.

That was why you had been so excited when you had heard about James Corden’s bus tour. Getting to spend the day outside, surrounded by some of your costars, sounded like a vacation compared to being stuck in a chair all day. There was no doubt in your mind that it would be chaos. Of course, you would do you best to add to that chaos.

Still, as you glanced over at your boyfriend, you thought that maybe press tours weren’t all that bad. You and Sebastian had met while filming Civil War, but you hadn’t really talked much. Sebastian was pretty quiet, and you had worried that he found your loudness annoying, so you had focused on befriending your costars who seemed more receptive to your large personality.

It wasn’t until the press tour that you actually got to know Sebastian. You weren’t sure if you had been partnered with Sebastian and Anthony because someone thought Anthony might ease your nerves about your first Marvel press tour or if they hoped being stuck with two people as outgoing as you and Anthony might force Sebastian out of his shell. Either way, the three of you had been a hit that press tour. More importantly, Sebastian had asked you out shortly after Civil War premiered.

The two of you had been dating ever since. It had made interviews a bit difficult for both of you though. You had decided to keep your relationship private. In theory, you were going to go public after a few months, but the two of you had enjoyed having a part of your lives that was actually private. It was a surprise that no one had let it slip, considering both Tom Holland and Mark Ruffalo knew about the relationship. Still, it was hard ignoring dating rumors every time someone thought you must be with whatever costar you had smiled at that week.

“What are you thinking about?” Sebastian asked, glancing at you before looking back the road. He took one hand off the wheel and grabbed your hand, entwining your fingers.

“Nothing.” You knew that Sebastian wouldn’t buy it. Not when he had seen your goofy grin.

“Nothing? Wanna try again?”

“What if we went to the premiere together?” You kept your eyes on your hand, still entwined with Sebastian’s.

“Like together together?” Sebastian took his hand back so he could turn into the parking lot of the studio. You tried not to notice the slight frown that he wore as he thought about your idea.

“We don’t have to. It’s just that it’s been almost two years. I thought it could be a good time. Maybe everyone will be so focused on the movie that we wouldn’t be big news.” Sebastian didn’t answer as he parked. You could already see a producer rushing over to the car, no doubt to get your ready for the tour. “You don’t have to answer now. Let’s just enjoy the tour and we can talk about it later.”

Sebastian nodded in agreement and the two of you climbed out of the car and made your way over towards the bus.

After you got your mic and everything, you climbed up to the top of the bus, where James gave you a name tag after doing a little bit. Immediately, you rushed to the front row and took the seat next to Lizzie. The two of you had clicked immediately while filming Civil War, and she had been one of your best friends ever since. 

You noticed that Sebastian waited for a few more people to get on before he climbed on and took a seat at the back next to Winston. You tried not to read too much into the fact that he was sitting as far away from you as possible. It was possible, probable even, that he was keeping his distance just so neither of you slipped up on camera. It was a tactic you used quite often. But it was also possible that you had freaked him out when you proposed going public and now he was going to avoid you.

Shaking off the doubts in your head, you picked up the disposable camera that you had been given and started snapping pictures as everyone settled in. To your relief, Sebastian gave you a smile and a small wave when you pointed the camera at Paul and Letitia, catching him in the background. Before it could descend into total chaos, the bus began moving and the tour started.

You and Lizzie almost died laughing when Benedict had to put sunscreen on James’s legs, but he had a point. “Does anyone need face sunscreen?” you asked, waving the bottle of face sunscreen that you had thrown in your purse at the last minute. Very pointedly, you turned to Benedict and Hiddleston. “I’m looking at you two.”

“We get it, Y/N,” Anthony yelled from the back. “You’re a mom friend.” You stuck your tongue out in reply, mainly because flipping him off didn’t seem very TV friendly. Nevertheless, your sunscreen got passed around the bus. Paul tried to give it back to you without putting any on, claiming that he didn’t need any, which resulted in you and Lizzie basically wrestling him and putting it on his face yourselves. The laugh died in your throat as you began turning back to the front and caught sight of Sebastian’s grumpy face. You raised your eyebrows, but he looked away.

“What’s up with him?” Lizzie asked quietly. Apparently she had seen his expression too. You could only hope that no camera had caught it.

“Tell you later.” You tapped slightly on your mic and Lizzie nodded.

Luckily James began the tour before you could dwell on it any more. Between Don’s exaggerated pose when he took a picture of the coffee shop, getting into trouble with James for being “disruptive,” and the singalong, which you got way too into, you had almost forgotten about Sebastian’s stormy expression.

“This is actually Barbara Streisand’s holiday home,” James said, pointing at some strange, red building. “She actually designed it herself.”

“Is that true, Josh?” you called, spinning around so you could face him.

Josh shook his head. “Absolutely not.”

“Well what do you know? You’re just the bad guy. You’re just trying to cause trouble,” James complained.

“She’s his stepmom, so I think I trust him a bit more than you, James. Sorry.” You shrugged innocently at him before turning back around the air high five Josh. Again, as you were turning back to the front, you caught Sebastian’s eye. He was basically glaring at you.

“What?” you mouthed at him, which of course everyone behind you saw, causing them to turn to look at Sebastian too.

“Y/N, I am trying to give a tour, and you are being disruptive once again. I need eyes up front please.”

“But James,” you whined, huffing in your seat like a little kid, “Sebastian keeps looking at me. Tell him to stop.”

“Sebastian, I need all eyes on me, please. I am the reason you all paid to be here-”

“We have to pay for this?” Hiddleston asked, but James continued as if he hadn’t said anything.

“-so I need you to stop looking at Y/N and pay attention to me.”

“I didn’t even look at her. What am I not allowed to look around now?” Sebastian answered a bit too hotly. There was a brief moment where you could feel everyone look between the two of you, even James and Reggie, who had no idea why it was so strange that Sebastian had snapped like that.

“Geez, Mackie, control your man,” you joked, trying desperately to diffuse the tension.

“No way. Sebastian is not my man. He’s sitting with Winston, so he’s Winston’s problem today,” Mackie yelled back. Luckily, this caused Winston and Anthony to start bickering about who had to take care of Sebastian during the tour. Sebastian, of course, hated the attention and eventually agreed to behave and even gave you a very child-like “Sorry, Y/N.” You stuck your tongue out in response and turned back to give James your full attention.

You all continued the act of disconnected celebrities as James explained what waiting in line was. Hoping to get a better view of the “normal people,” you tried to stand on your chair like you were ogling some animal at the zoo, but almost immediately at least five different people were yelling at you to get down. Apparently it “wasn’t safe” to stand on top of chairs on top of a moving bus.

“Excuse me. I don’t mean to interrupt, but I have to use the bathroom. Can I use the bathroom?” You didn’t turn around this time, worried about seeing Sebastian staring at you again. Instead, you focused on the faux apologetic look on James’s face.

“I’m really sorry. The problem is that the rules on the tour is that you have to have appeared in three or more Marvel movies to use the bathroom. End credits scenes don’t count. Y/N, do you have to use the bathroom?”

“I haven’t been in three movies,” you pointed out.

“That’s right, you haven’t. So I hope you don’t have to use the bathroom. Tom Hiddleston, do you need to use the bathroom?”

“I’m actually okay.”

“Oh, so sorry Y/N. Sorry Josh. Maybe you should ask your stepmom Barbra Streisand if you can use the bathroom at her holiday home.”

“I don’t even have to go,” you protested as Lizzie died laughing next to you.

“Well that’s good because you can’t. Now, does anyone die in the next Avengers?”

The bus was quiet as you all looked at each other. Finally, Paul yelled, “Snitches end up in ditches!”

“I thought they got stitches first,” you whispered to Lizzie.

“Apparently Paul is skipping that part,” she replied. The two of you gave each other a look before dissolving into giggles at the thought of Paul actually throwing someone in a ditch.

The tour continued with more of James’s jokes before he had the bus pull over at a comic shop. A part of you was nervous to go inside. While most of the fans that you had met were nice, you knew that there were still a lot of comic fans who didn’t like your character, or how you played your character, or that you had been cast, or whatever. You gave Lizzie’s hand a nervous squeeze, which she returned, but really you wanted to be holding Sebastian’s hand. You were each other’s biggest supporter. Whenever one of you was feeling nervous, the other was normally right there to offer support.

But instead, you walked in separately.

Luckily, everyone seemed too starstruck to gripe about anything. It ended up being a pretty nice time. You signed some comics and chatted to some fans. One girl even told you about a tattoo dedicated to your character that she was going to get. You almost had a heart attack when she asked you to write down her favorite line of yours, so that she could add that to the tattoo. Afterwards, Mackie had teased you about how much your hand was shaking when you were writing it. It looked like Sebastian was about to say something, but then a camera was suddenly in your face and he disappeared to the other side of the store.

After buying a couple of comics for yourself, you and Lizzie found yourselves in the corner of the store playing with a Scarlet Witch doll that you had bought for her. You didn’t notice when she looked up with a small frown on her face, but you did feel the hand that came to rest on your waist. You looked around quickly, making sure that no cameras were on you, before meeting Sebastian’s eyes.

“What are you doing, Seb?” you whispered. Without you realizing, Lizzie snuck away to give the two of you some privacy. Or as much privacy as you can get when you’re wearing a mic and possibly being filmed.

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry about earlier. I guess I just got kind of jealous and I snapped a little.”

“Jealous?” You put your hand on Sebastian’s arm to keep him in place when you felt him begin to back away. “Jealous about what, Sebastian?”

“I don’t know.” He waved his hand around a bit at the rest of the group. “Just seeing your hands all over Paul and joking around with everyone around you.”

“Lizzie and I were forcibly putting sunscreen on Paul. I did that to you before we left the house this morning. I don’t think you have anything to be jealous about.” You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at him.

“Sometimes it just feels like you always have everyone’s attention and you’re joking around with all of them and you never pay attention to me.” You pressed your lips together to keep from laughing at the adorable pout on Sebastian’s face. “And I know that we kind of have to ignore each other sometimes because we don’t want people to know about us, but I just always wish that I could be joking around with you too. I have so much fun talking to you and being around you, and seeing other people having fun around you when I can’t is just annoying sometimes. It’s like I always want to be right next to you.”

You placed a gentle hand on Sebastian’s cheek, making him meet your eyes. “I always want to be next to you too. And most of the time when I’m joking around with other people, I’m wishing that you were there too. But right now, we should get back to the others. It’ll be a miracle if we haven’t been caught on camera.”

“Oh I asked Anthony to make sure that no one would be paying attention to this side of the store.”

“Is that why he’s been yelling for the past few minutes?”

“He’s the best choice for a distraction, unfortunately.” You grinned at Sebastian as you wrapped your arms around him. Smiling back, he planted a quick kiss on your forehead.

“That’s way too bold,” you scolded him. Still, you couldn’t help but laugh. “There’s no way we would be able to explain that away if anyone saw. Way too many questions.”

You began to walk away, but Sebastian pulled you back to him. “Let them ask questions. The premiere is soon and they’ll have their answers then.”

“Oh they will?” You raised your eyebrows in mock confusion.

“Of course. When we go together. How does that sound?”

“Sounds like a date.” The two of you smiled at each other and were about to lean in for a kiss when Anthony was suddenly pulling Sebastian away.

“Break it up, lovebirds. I thought I was providing a distraction so you two could make up, not so you could make out. Now come on, Sebastian. We need to take a picture with that Spiderman statue outside.” 

Sebastian gave you a shrug as Anthony dragged him outside. You rolled your eyes at their antics, then followed the rest of the cast as they began to make their way outside and back to the bus. You had stopped to admire Benedict’s drawing skills when Lizzie was suddenly clutching your arm and squealing. She, of course, had seen everything, though she assured you that everyone had tried their best to be as entertaining as possible on the other side of the store, so that no cameras would be on you.

You wore a smile for the rest of the tour. Lizzie kept teasing you every time you and Sebastian would sneak glances at each other. Not that you could really sneak glances when you had to turn around constantly to look at him. Once again, you got way too into the singalong. This time, Sebastian yelled encouragement at you as you sang off key.

By the time you reached the studio again, you had decided that this was really the best way to do a press tour. You waved goodbye to James and Hemsworth and you climbed off the bus. Before you could take more than a few steps, Sebastian had picked you up and was spinning you around.

“How have you two not spilled the beans yet?” Paul asked as everyone watched in amusement.

“You weren’t even being subtle at the comic shop,” Benedict pointed out.

“Y’all are lucky that the cameras love me so much that they weren’t looking at you,” Mackie joked.

Apparently, the cameras didn’t love Mackie as much as he thought. When the video came out, some eagle eyed fans spotted the two of you looking cozy in the background of a shot. Some people argued that it was impossible to say for certain that it was you and Sebastian, but your Twitter and Instagram notifications were full of people asking if you and Sebastian were dating.

The two of you decided to ignore the questions. Lucky for you, Marvel made it very clear to all of the interviewers that there should be no questions about anyone’s personal lives. All focus was to be on the movie. So you kept the fans guessing until the two of you showed up to the premiere arm in arm.

Unfortunately, there were plenty of people more focused on your relationship than on the movie, so there were plenty of articles about the two of you. Apparently, you were Marvel’s new power couple. As long as you had Sebastian, that was a title you could live with.

#sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan x you #marvel one shot #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan #sebastian stan oneshot

[winterlovesong1]

Winter’s Nancy Drew Rewatch

Welcome to my first rewatch of my current favorite comfort show ❤️ Under the cut are my thoughts and a few insights I hope you enjoy - I’ll be going through each episode and posting these periodically with the tag winter rewatched Nancy Drew.

Episode 1x14 - The Sign of the Uninvited Guest

This episode title feels like a nod to several things - Patrice working at The Claw, Laura coming back into town, but also (my personal favorite) -  the ever apparent crush that his now glaring between Ace and Nancy (though that guest while uninvited, is more than welcome in...)

Overall MVP

This really felt like a true ensemble episode - even though we got vignettes of the different characters and pairings, it didn’t seem like one character stole the spotlight so to speak - so I’m giving it to The Crew. We love to see them working together <3

Most Heartfelt Moment

I’m going to say that goodbye between Ace and Laura - because it was really profound him gathering enough courage and fortitude to say no - because she really has walked all over him so to speak - even if you look back at 1x04 where Laura basically emotionally manipulated Ace into doing what she wanted - I mean he negotiated some of the terms, but Laura was really leading that deal. Now he’s making a choice and standing firm on his ground and I love to see that character growth even within these ten episodes passing.

I love my precious boy so much.

Most Comedic Moment

So many this episode - 

From the physical - the little synchronized wave that Bess and Ace give to Patrice at the start of the episode to Ace hitting into the gate at the precinct to Ace’s little scrunched face when Nancy asks him to go to the library

Oh I’m sorry,  “la bibliotheque”

To the dialogue line deliveries of “with me” and Nancy and Ace’s little domestic moment of “that’s a great segue, Nancy...” to the ever prolific - “I have enemies there.”

Best Overall Line

“You know what is so romantic? Solving a homicide together.”

Nace asking Ace out on the first date - you can’t tell me otherwise.

But special mention to -

“And you, as a character in a Victorian novel, spend all your free time in the library?

“Kinda. My mom works here.”

Scare Rating

Lucy is fiercely creepy this episode - and that scene with Josh...*cringe*

Solid jump to 7.

Nace Slow Burn Rating

I think we are still resting comfortably at a six and here is why...

A couple of things to recall thus far - Ace has had his near death experience, Nancy has just gotten out of the whisper box experience (but has also had that near encounter with crazy chemistry teacher), Nancy has met Ace’s dad, Ace has rescued Carson from jail, and they’ve worked together for not only a while at The Claw, but have now been together for weeks (even though time is an illusion in Horseshoe Bay, I’m claiming weeks at this point) collaborating on Tiffany (and Lucy’s) case. All these things mount to spending a lot of time together, coming face to face with “the end” so to speak, and also getting more details on what makes each other them. It’s hard not to, I think, at this point, say pretty assuredly that both of them have developed a crush on the other and that crush is pretty apparent in their motions this episode. Yes, it’s still in that “oh she’s pretty interesting and intriguing..” and “wow, this boy doesn’t fail to surprise me...” stage, but it’s there and it’s shining bright my friends.

Ok now onto the episode - from the start Ace is literally asking about Nancy - and then as we progress, even though Laura returns, he still gets paired with her - almost as if fate had a hand - like life was setting them up from the start. There’s also lot a talk about leaving or not leaving this episode for Ace which is a cool mirror to 3x01 when Nancy herself is questioning the same thing. But ultimately, through perhaps the day of working with Nancy (he hasn’t worked with her directly since 1x10) or his overall experiences until this point *see recap above* he realizes how much he enjoyed spending time with her - how much being with her gives him a purpose - which he explicitly states as his reason for staying, but he doesn’t name Nancy directly (he’s not quite there yet).

Now, everything that happens at the library - at the start, it’s almost as if Ace went into this mission to show off mode as he attempts to flourish his skills, working to impress Nancy, when judging by all her facial expressions, Nancy is actually impressed - and continually surprised, by just Ace himself - I mean she’s surprised at every turn from him knowing the customers names, to the revelation his mom works there, to the whole conversation he has with Dominique - and I think that’s so telling of how Nancy thinks of Ace - she’s not impressed by what he is able to own or wield or provide her - she’s impressed by him. Because Nancy is never, if hardly ever, caught off guard and yet this guy, he amazes her. And that certainly, not easily done.

And then the iconic scene where they are sitting at the computers reading the emails - rewatching this is so telling of them both having crushes on the other, their looks at each other and their pauses - specifically when Nancy looks over at Ace as he reads out the line “I think I love you too...I want to be with you. I don’t care what anyone else says...” and Ace stumbles in his pause and words before Nancy is quick to break the moment.

ICONIC.

We end the string of Nace scenes with an iconic Ace knows something is wrong with Nancy moment when she returns from outside with Ryan and I love to see it - especially at the end of an episode in which Ace firmly plants himself in Horseshoe Bay (and with Nancy)

Fashion Moment

Ace’s blue hoodie because wow that really brings out Alex’s eyes.

But also funny that he wore a blue hoodie - traditional color of one Nancy Drew - as he says goodbye to one chapter and chooses to stay on his path...the path with her.

And Nancy’s messy bun at the start of the episode <3

Missing Moment Drabble

Posted here.

#winter rewatched nancy drew #nace #tv: nancy drew

[taylorkellyreporting]

i hope no one minds if i liveblog this bitch: the captain swan show rewatch edition 🪝 🦢

right s2 let’s go

snow reuniting with her family 🥺

poor emma :/ must be so bittersweet

“i thought you’d changed.” “what, in the hour you’ve known me?” lmfaooo

i gain killian and sleeping warrior this season!!

“i made a promise to henry. she’s not dying.” parents die all the time, he’ll get over it. let that bitch GO

“you love him.” oh baby not in the way you think

rewatching the hat scene in regina’s office and it’s so obvious to me now that emma had magic in her like it wouldn’t work til she gripped regina’s arm

“i don’t want to hurt anyone!” “hard to believe you’re from the same family.” oh you’ll believe it eventually

“gramps” 🥺

regina is such a horrible mother idk how henry tolerates her

henry calling regina out for what she’s done to him👏🏻

“you will hold the hearts of your people in your hands.” lady you have no idea

“and i won’t become like her?” you’ll be worse

letting henry leave with charming was the only selfless thing that regina has ever done

regina: i want to redeem myself

also regina: *continues doing terrible shit*

henry and charming taking a drink of their sodas at the same time was so cute

“we can’t do that with our tales between our legs! no offense.” 😭😭

“have you ever seen an ogre?” “pretty sure i’ve dated a few.” pls i love her

“when is the last time you shot an arrow?!” “28 years ago. guess it’s like riding a bike.” 😭

mama charming 🥺

“actually, she’s my mom.” aurora’s face gjvjfjsk

“what kind of corset is this?” 😭

josh has such beautiful eyes, woah

snow and charming having lancelot marry them so mama charming can be there to see it, i’m crying

the way that’s not even lance

“is there…something i need to know?” lmaoooo

“you gave up…everything for me. and you’re still doing that.” i love their relationship so damn much

“i’m not used to someone putting me first” 😭

oh God snow crying as she looks at the nursery!! shoot me and it would still hurt less

rewatching emma and killian scenes is gonna hit so hard like they hated each other at first and all i’m gonna think about is how the series ends with them happily married and parents to a baby girl 🥹

henry’s face as he’s watching jefferson reunite with his daughter 🥺 he misses emma so much

that nasty old man watching charming and henry :/

THE LOVE OF MY LIFE MY HUSBAND MY NUMBER ONE HE’S FINALLY HERE

disney+ having the description for this episode be that rumple tries to save his wife being taken by pirates is so funny knowing she leaves him willingly

hate that i have to watch more of rumple’s past in order to get killy but yk what it’s worth it

ladies and gentlemen…him.

and from this moment on…the show changed forever

“he’s a tad taller than you described” 😭

sexy ass mofo

“on your feet for the captain” i’d be on my feet…knees…anyway-

“you have my wife.” “i’ve had many a man’s wives” pls

oh how i wish that belle would’ve stayed at the library, been best friends with red and eventually fallen in love with will

he’s so fine pls

gold going to charming for help, oh i know he’s desperate

this pic is so soft🥺

oh brother, mila wasn’t stolen

riiighhht he took his heart

oh wait no it was his hand he takes duh lmao

“are you asking for dating advice?” “of course not, no” plsjdjfjfksb

skipping every rumbelle scene is self care <3

and now he’s captain hook :)

really wish belle wasn’t so weak

LMAOO THERE’S NO BEAN IN HIS HAND

emma and killian soon!!

those poor people cora ruthlessly slaughtered :(

them <3

THEY FOUND KILLIAN, IT’S HAPPENING

neither knows that they’re looking at the love of their life i’m gonna cry

love the intro this ep

hit my pic limit so gonna make another post 👍🏼wasn’t gonna post ep by ep but here we are

#ouat lb #long post #emma swan #killian jones #mulan ouat #aurora ouat #snow white #prince charming #henry mills #anti regina mills #anti rumbelle #ruby lucas #sleeping warrior #aurora x mulan #mulan x aurora #captain swan #emma x killian #killian x emma #snowing #cora mills

[haikyuuthots]

Please write anything with a jealous Suna 😩, I need that in my life

I want you for myself - Suna Rintaro

Pairing: Suna rintaro x reader

Word count: 1.5k

Warning: mentions of alcohol and weed, curse words, some arguing

Summary: you’re at a party with your boyfriend, having a good time. You’re doing your own thing for a moment when an old friend from your childhood comes up to talk to you and catch up. Suna sees you guys interacting and clouded by jealousy, makes a scene.

A/n: GIRLLLLL thank u for requesting i love writing a bit of angst. But as always fluff at the end, bc that what we’re here for. Hope you enjoy reading! 😘

Masterlist

—————————————————————————

When your boyfriend Suna asked you to come to this party with him, you didn’t hesitate to say yes. You loved partying, and you knew most of the people who’d be present so you knew going would be such a fun time.

Upon arrival Suna immediately began greeting his friends, you of course already being familiar with all of them waved hello and did the same. The music was blasting and you noticed everyone dancing and having a good time , there was a lot of drinks and plenty of weed to go around.

You stuck around Suna for about an hour, until your best friend Carrie noticed you and begged you to take a couple shots with her. You looked over to your boyfriend and let him know you’d be gone for a bit, complying to Carries request. He had no issues with it, he himself was about to start taking shots with his boys as well. You kiss Suna goodbye, and part ways for a moment.

Now on your fourth shot, you’re swaying to the music with your bestie, laughing and overall having a good time. You notice your boyfriend stare at you from across the room, when he notices you’ve caught his gaze he makes sure to send you a bashful smile, indicating that he’s having a good time too. Your heart flutters at the sight, you loved you boyfriends cheeky smile.

Still dancing you look over to your best friend “I’m really thirsty do you know where I can find water?”

“Yeah I heard there’s some in the fridge. Want me to come with you?”

“No girl stay here, I’ll be real quick.”

You slowly leave from the spot you were in and make your way to the kitchen, bumping into a few sweaty bodies on the way there.

Finally reaching the kitchen you quickly make your way to the fridge, normally you’d be too embarrassed to reach into another persons fridge but considering the fact that you were 4 shots in and parched you couldn’t care. Reaching inside to grab a water bottle you open the lid and start drinking, becoming startled by a voice

“Y/n?”

You turn around and notice a tall man with dirty blonde hair and blue eyes, his face seeming familiar to you

“Uh, hi? Do I, know you?” You ask as nicely as possible

“It’s me. Josh.” He replies with a smile

Hearing his name you recognize him instantly. Joshua Moretti, he was your neighbor for almost your entire childhood and your best friend all of your grade school years. He moved far away your third year of middle school, and although you’ve talked here and there, you hadn’t heard anything from him for years.

“Omg no way!” You shout as you quickly go to hug him. He reciprocates right away, squeezing you with excitement.

“You look so different! You’re so tall, and wow I did not recognize you at all.” You say happy to see your old friend

“Yeah. You look a bit different too, but I instantly recognized you when I saw you walk by.”

“That’s so crazy, well tell me how have you been? I haven’t seen you in years.”

You and Josh start catching up, he talks to you about how his life has been this far and you do the same.

Meanwhile back in the giant living room where you were before Suna notices your absence immediately. He didn’t see you leave, so he had no idea where you were. Even more confusing he noticed that your best friend was still in the same spot without you, which he found really weird.

A bit worried he gives a quick heads up to his friends, letting them know that he was going to look for you and he’d be right back. Passing through the people he’s looking left and right, in hopes to see you. From across the room he can faintly see you, you’re in the kitchen, hugging another man.

His heart drops to the pit of his stomach and his blood boils at the sight. What the fuck were you doing in the arms of another man???

He’s now pushing people to get out his way to get to you sooner. His gaze never leaves you and he notices you’re smiling at whatever the fuck this man is saying to you. He honestly never wanted to rock the shit out of another person in his entire life. But his anger was only rising and the alcohol in his system was only adding more fuel to the fire.

Finally reaching the kitchen he doesn’t hesitate to rush the other man, forcefully pushing him out of your way.

“What the fuck are you doing touching my girlfriend!?” He yells anger laced all over his words

The entire interaction caught you off guard, everything happened in a blink of an eye.

Instantly you reach to get your boyfriend off Joshua.

“Suna what the fuck!” You yell out as you push him away to create space between the two men

“Don’t what the fuck me, who is this and why the fuck are you hugging him?!”

You’re taken aback by his tone. You’ve never seen Suna like this, he was always chill and always spoke to you softly.

“Suna, baby please calm down, you’re making a scene.” You softly say gently placing you hands on his arms

“Don’t fucking touch me.” He shoves your hands away and quickly storms out.

You look back at Josh, who looks very shaken up. You immediately apologize and soon after quickly make your way to follow Suna.

Running behind him, you two are now outside the house in the middle of the sidewalk. You shout out towards him to stop him from walking any further

“Rin please stop!” You yell out.

Suna turns around and makes his way over to you, his body is now hovering yours and you notice he’s still very angry “don’t tell me to fucking stop when I’ve just seen my girlfriend holding some other guy.”

“Can you let me fucking explain?” You yell out, becoming more frustrated

Suna stays quiet and only glares back at you.

“He’s my fucking friend from grade school. We grew up together, he’s like a fucking brother.”

Suna still says no words

“And guess what Rin? He’s getting married in 4 months. So that whole scene you did in there was for nothing!”

There’s now a silence between you two. It’s evident you’re both overwhelmed with emotions. You were beyond upset at his actions and he was trying his best to process everything. You didn’t want to be in his presence any longer, thinking the best thing to do now was to let each other cool down. Turning around, you begin walking away from Suna but he instantly stops you by holding onto your wrist.

“Please let me go. We both need space right now.” You say more quietly this time

“Fuck.”

You turn back to look at him and his head is looking down at the floor

He continues talking “I feel like such an asshole. But put yourself in my shoes.” He’s looking up to you now “I had no idea who that guy was, I’ve never seen him in my life and you’ve never mentioned him, so to me it was just some random guy you were hugging.”

You’re fully turned around now, listening to him speak

“I couldn’t fucking stand it.” He clenches his fist “I couldn’t stand seeing you in another mans arms, it fucking clouded my mind with anger. All I wanted to do was fuck him up.”

“Rin.” You say bringing your hand to caress his face “I get it, you had no idea who he was and if I’m being honest I would’ve been angry too if it were the other way around.”

“You’re mine.” He says, quickly grabbing you by the waist to bring your body close to his

There’s barely any space between you two, as he starts kissing you down your neck, not caring if you were in public

“The mere thought of you being near anyone else makes my skin crawl.” He says in between kisses.

“Rin-“ you breathlessly let out but he cuts you off

“I’m sorry I really am, but I just couldn’t control it. I want you for myself.”

He makes his way over to smash his lips against yours, and you reciprocate right away. After kissing for a moment you gently push him off, beginning to talk again

“But Rin, you can’t just hit people. I promise you I don’t want anyone but you. I’m all yours baby, but please-“ you wrap your arms around his neck bringing him closer “don’t do what you did in there.”

Suna rests his forehead on yours, still tightly holding you “I’ll work on it. For you. But I get jealous, and I don’t think I ever won’t. But I promise I’ll work on how I react from now on.”

You smile at his words. Although you were completely aware that this dynamic wasn’t the sanest, you loved Suna with your entire heart and soul, and you wanted him to be with you.

“I love you baby. I’m all yours.”

Suna picks you up and you wrap your legs around his waist, he closes the gap between your lips, kissing you gently.

“I love you too. Thank you for being mine.”

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu blog #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu! x reader #haikyuu!! #haikyuu boys #haikyuu x y/n #suna rintaro x reader #suna rintaro imagine #suna angst #jealous!suna #suna haikyuu

[sichengtual]

how sweet it is (to be loved by you)

— summary: some loves are meant to run too deep, some loves are meant to stand the test. luckily, for you and cheol, nothing has ever posed a threat.

— pairing: choi seungcheol x reader.

— genre: fluff ; established relationship ; 70's au, part of the tiny dancer universe.

— word count: 2665

— warnings: mentions of smoking.

happy birthday to the love of my life @svtxsoju! i love you so so so much 💞

Seungcheol had never been hard to read.

From the very first moment you’d met, you’d seen he always wore his heart on his sleeve. You liked that about him; the way you could tell how he was feeling by paying attention to the size of his smile and the gleam in his eyes. For a while, you wondered if he was like that when only you were there to see. A sort of prize won after confidence, the kind that came with a great deal of trust. Your heart always leapt at the thought; of Seungcheol trusting you enough to let his walls down, of letting you in with such ease you’d wonder if he just wasn’t afraid of ever getting hurt… not by you, but by the world.

After a while, you finally came to see it wasn’t quite like that. Seungcheol just trusted people. Not only his friends (which you were at the time) or the people closest to him, but the strangers he passed by on the street. The people he ran into at the store. The men he made business with, the bands he came to meet, the fans he saw from afar. It was a beautiful thought, Seungcheol having a heart so big there was no sort of mistrust in it; but it was also a scary one, because you knew the world to be cruel. You knew the world to be undeserving of him.

“He’s gonna fall down on his ass,” Mingyu speaks next to you, a hand in the pocket of his torn up leather jacket and the other holding a cigarette. “Part of me wants you to tell him to come down but the other part wants revenge from him waking me up at 5 today.”

“You guys had a gig,” you laugh, taking a sip from your cup. It’s run cold, but the beverage leaves a sweet aftertaste on the back of your tongue, so you keep drinking. Summer is just around the corner anyways. “Not to defend him, but, you know.”

“Oh no, not you too,” Mingyu whines, throwing his head back as he speaks. He’s always reminded you of Seungcheol, and you wonder if that’s why the two seem to clash together so much. “The gig was at noon, no need to see the rise of dawn and scare my sleep away with Chan’s sleeping mask.”

“Oh, fuck you!” You hear from the back of the yard, Chan’s voice somehow louder than the playing vinyl.

His laughter, followed by Mingyu’s quiet giggle and the careless strum of a guitar, brings a smile on your lips.

Night has barely begun to fall down. The sky is tinged bubblegum pink and the clouds have started to change color, adorning the afternoon sky in an array of orange shades. It’s the moment before it starts turning down, but even when the light threatens to decrease, temperature only but rises. It’s a warm summer afternoon, with friends laughing at the top of their longs and music playing as soft background music, setting the scene even when the melody runs ignored.

It had been a while since you last had spent time with the band. They had just gone on their first big world tour and were just getting welcomed back home, and you can swear there’s something about finally knowing the world that allows their smiles to grow a little bit wider. It’s as if they’ve collected happiness at every spot, experiences turned into emotion as they let themselves completely feel every single moment. It’s as if they let their hearts be free once they’ve known how it is to let their bodies do the same.

“Why did he even get up there, anyways?” You ask, taking a sip from your punch glass. It’s sweet and cool against the growing heat.

“Seungkwan and Hoshi dared him,” Mingyu answers, smiling when Soonyoung tries to excuse his actions, yelling about some book incident involving Cheol and Jun. “Can’t believe he’s about to fall on his face in front of you for a slice of cheese pizza, though.”

“It’s a matter of honor!” Seungcheol exclaims between jolts of laughter, fingers forming a peace sign as Joshua pulls his portable camera out of his bag and points it at him. “Wait, what is this for?”

He tries to pose as he stands over a wobbly table, one of his hands holding a glass of pink colored punch and the other pointing to the camera while he tries to keep still for however long it takes Joshua to focus the lens. The guitarist isn’t the best at photographs, but his enthusiasm makes up for the lack of skill.

“Ivy and Jun are doing some groovy memory thing,” he explains, breaking into a laugh, shrugging in the direction of the couple. “Don’t worry, I’ll document every step of the process.”

Your boyfriend’s mouth opens wide at Joshua’s words, the peace sign in his hand quickly becoming a single pointed finger, eyes blazing as he moves his hand in the air.

“As soon as these fifteen minutes are up I’m getting down from here,” Seungcheol says, each word enunciated in the form of a loud whine, a pout forming on his lips as he berates his friend. “Be sure to document the slice of pizza in my mouth, Bob Dylan!”

“That would be so fucking gross,” Minghao comments from the hammock, a pair of pastel yellow sunglasses resting on the tip of his nose. “Trust me, no one would ever want to see that.”

“And Josh wishes he was Bob Dylan!” Mingyu laughs.

“I bet you wish you got the riff today right, tho,” Chan teases, another fit of laughter ensuing. Mingyu responds, and Minghao giggles.

Seungcheol turns to see his friends from where he’s standing, chest growing tight at the sight. It’s his family, after all, reunited and relaxed after what was, probably, the start to a lifelong adventure. You meet him halfway, smiling as you point the glass of punch in his direction in a silent cheer. It’s your family as much as it’s his, and there’s a sense of pride growing in the center of your stomach as you realize what an honor it is to be a part of it.

He smiles, and it doesn’t really seem like he’s all the way across the yard on top of a table that threatens to break down, because he’s truly never felt closer to you.

…

Hours later, the pizza discussion has quieted and night has finally fallen down.

Seungcheol ended up not falling, breaking literally everyone but Ivy, Jun, and your expectations, but earning Joshua quite a groovy photo (he had almost fallen down, after all). The beginning of the entire thing is still a bit of a mystery to you, but with the information you’ve been given, you’re not completely sure you’d actually want to know. After all, the entire fifteen minutes had given you a good laugh and a lifetime of worries, all at the same time.

“Here,” Seungcheol’s voice breaks you apart from your thoughts. He’s holding a yellow ceramic cup full of steaming tea, arm stretched in your direction. “Can you believe Seungkwan was trying to hide his Earl Gray from me?”

“Actually, yeah, I can,” you answer as you laugh, taking the cup from Seungcheol’s hands while he sits on the grass next to you. “You don’t even drink tea.”

“No, but he knows you do,” he says. He speaks as if he’s telling you a secret, words low, soft against the wind, entering your ears like honey as your lips curl up into a smile.

Seungcheol’s gentleness is present in every thought, in every gesture. It’s in the thinking of you to ensure your comfort, the going out of his way to make you happy, that lets you know he treats your happiness like he’s guarding a flower that’s just about to bloom. He touches it with the tips of his fingers, caring for it and nurturing it, helping your smile grow by the day. A smile directed at him.

“And yet he guards it from the both of us,” you say, raising the cup to your lips and taking a small sip. It’s sweet, a bit too sweet, perhaps, but the saccharine taste feels like velvet against your tongue, so you continue drinking. You’ve always liked sweet things, and Seungcheol has always known. “Are you not gonna have anything?”

“Seungkwan’s coffee brew and my stomach aren’t really the best of friends,” he jokes, eyes fixed on the midnight sky. “Not after last time, at least. The good thing about the tour was that all the coffee we got was made by other people.”

“Hey, he takes a lot of pride in his coffee brew!”

“That doesn’t make it any lighter!”

He doesn’t quite remember just how long it’s been since he’s taken a second to stop and breathe in like he’s doing now, the feeling of laying down without a worry having been completely alienated. It’s like he’s always on track; always moving here or there, physically or in thought, and stopping finally means letting his thoughts lay down too. He lets himself feel every inch of the warm breeze hitting his skin and rustling his hair, enjoying every second of finally watching the stars shine bright above his head.

Seungcheol is always hearing Jun talk about just how much he likes looking at the stars, and now he finally understands.

“Hey, look up there,” Seungcheol whispers, nudging your shoulder with his and pointing to the sky with his finger. You’re not sure he’s drawing your attention to any spot in particular, and, to be honest, neither is he. “It reminds me of you.”

“What exactly are you looking at?” You ask, and it’s somewhere between a laugh and a question, but he doesn’t comment on it. He’s always loved the way you talk, because, even if for a second, he feels like happiness drips from every pore. “You’re pointing at like, at least five different stars right now.”

“Yeah, that’s what I mean. You’re each and every single one of them. You’re there with me, lightning my path with every step I take.”

You’re not sure, but you’d think that’s the moment the world stops spinning, because it’s just the two of you; it’s just you and Seungcheol, and your warm cup of tea, and the crazed laughter of your friends flows through the air like the background scene of a film you’ll watch over, and over, and over again. It’s like the moment and his words become etched so deep inside your heart they become a part of who you are, and of who you will always be, because there’s nothing that encompasses happiness better than the love you and Seungcheol hold for each other.

“Are you coming for Jun’s job now?” You ask, voice breaking as tears begin to prickle your eyes.

“Should we switch places?” Seungcheol follows, letting himself fall completely on his back, feeling the grass grazing against the soft linen of his purple button-up. His tone is light, relaxed. Gentle. “I’m pretty sure Jun could make for a convincing business man.”

“Yes, I’m pretty sure he would. He’s different now, isn’t he? He feels a bit more confident. A bit more secure.”

“Love does that to you, I guess. It makes you believe in yourself, because you know someone else does it too.”

And it’s just so much of a feeling growing inside your chest that you’re sure this is exactly where you’re meant to be, and Seungcheol is exactly who you’re meant to be with. You look at your surroundings, and he’s nestled so deep within your soul it’s almost like he’s everywhere. Every single place, every single sound, every single scent; he's everything.

“Can I have this dance?”

He moves, rustling in place as he extends his hand over to you.

“You can have all of them.”

It’s almost like it’s your thoughts speaking, voices intertwining, souls coming together. He takes your hand in his and you follow his lead as he stands up, pulling you to his chest with such gentleness in his touch it feels like you’re made of glass. He doesn’t move for a few seconds, but you don’t really think he needs to, because as soon as his fingers tangle with yours, it’s almost like you’re flying.

Somewhere in the garden, sitting around a campfire, Joshua and Mingyu’s guitars begin playing a song you both know, and you barely notice the moment your feet start moving. They dance on their own accord, gliding over the grass in a pace that doesn’t quite match the one set by the instruments, but neither of you fight it. He tightens the grip on your fingers and sets them over his chest, moving in closer to your frame.

You can feel him in what’s almost a hug by how close you’re standing, and it’s only when Joshua and Mingyu begin singing that you move your head up to take a look at him. The melody is sweet, raising into the sky over the crackling of a roaring fire. Dark, thick wisps of hair fall against his forehead and over the golden frame of his glasses, completely rustled by the summer breeze. You know it’s only a matter of time before he’ll try to tussle it back against his head, no doubt counterproductive, further messing up his (once) carefully gelled hairstyle.

He looks just the way he did when you last saw him before the tour, and, in a way, he looks a completely different person. There’s a sense of growth, of experience, of adventure nestling in his smile and yet, the look in his eyes expresses just as much love for you as it’s always done.

“I missed you,” he says, words soft against your skin.

He pulls you in even closer, lips coming into contact with your forehead. He presses a kiss; light, soft, gentle. And yet loving, lingering. It’s an expression of a love that doesn’t quite pressure to grow, that doesn’t quite define itself by the closeness in touch or time. It’s born on the surface, but it travels down so deep it lays untouched by whatever might pose a threat. It blooms, so wildly and fierce, and so close to your own souls it’s shaped them into what they are. It’s what you are, and you can feel it dripping down your very self whenever you’re close. It’s where you’ve found a sense of home.

“I missed you too.”

You smile, letting your forehead rest against his lips. He takes in a breath, closing his eyes. The cup of tea sits long forgotten over the grass, but steam still rises from the top. The liquid lays untouched, unmoving; but still warm.

…

The morning rises, and you’re there to see.

Seungcheol is asleep in the guest room of Seungkwan’s field house, resting calmly beneath the thick duvet you had shared the night before. His arm is still splayed over the space you once occupied, and there’s a smile resting on his lips. His hand is balled into a fist, clutching the soft, velvet sheets. Light begins to seep through the window, filtering through the curtains. A soft ray falls over his face.

In the backyard, you look up at the sky. Once dark, it’s now the most beautiful shade of gold you’ve ever seen. Air runs between the trees, and you can feel it move against your skin. The world starts waking up as you smile, and you can feel every second of it. Joshua and Mingyu sleep calmly on the couch, and Minghao brews his coffee in silence. Ivy reads a book while caressing Jun’s hair, his head resting on their lap. Seungkwan, Soonyoung, Chan and Vernon busy themselves with breakfast, the faint scent of burning toast reaching your nose.

Your family is there with you, and you feel love all around.

#caratwritersclub #kpopscape #kwritersworldnet #svt scenarios #scoups scenario #seungcheol scenario #scoups scenarios #seungchol scenarios #scoups x reader #seungchol x reader #svt scenario #svt imagine #svt imagines #svt fluff #scoups fluff #sab.writing

[half-bakedboy]

jumping to (the wrong) conclusion (read on ao3)

Pairing: Evan “Buck” Buckley/Eddie Diaz Rated: General Summary: “Buck, Eddie was trying to tell you he’s in love with you,” Taylor said, her voice more serious than he thought she’d be capable of with so much alcohol in her system.

“He— No— Wait, I— What?” Buck’s mind came up with rapid-fire responses because no part of him was truly ready to handle the fact that his best friend might feel the same for Buck as he had for the last two years.

Or Eddie realizes something about his best friend, Buck finds his courage and Taylor gets to witness it all.

A Season 4 Episode 11: First Responders Extended Scene (contains minor spoilers for the ep)

The adrenaline was still pumping through Eddie’s veins even after he had changed out of his sweat-soaked uniform and taken a longer than necessary shower at the station. His blood was thrumming under his skin and he was sure he would vibrate right out of his body if he had the ability. The gunshots still echoed in his ears, Bobby’s quick actions flashing across his mind, and before Eddie realized it, he was pulling up to Buck’s apartment building.

He should have figured that’s where he would end up. Chris was with Hen, Karen, and the kids for the night, and Eddie had planned to drink a few beers by his lonesome while watching the UFC fight he had missed a few days prior. He had set it up to be the perfect night in his head, but he realized that his night couldn’t be nearly perfect because Buck wouldn't be there. Buck was just… inevitable.

Before he could think about what that meant, he got out of the car and locked the door with his keyfob, knowing that Buck would recognize the familiar beep of his car. He was lucky enough as he walked in that one of Buck’s neighbors that Eddie knew to be a night nurse was just leaving for her shift.

“Eddie, stopping by again already?” Becky shouted with a wiggle of her eyebrows. He jogged up the steps and grabbed the door from her, picking up the water bottle she had dropped on the floor to help her out. While Becky was very sweet and often let Eddie in when Buck wasn’t awake yet, he didn’t really feel like sparking up a conversation when his mind was racing as it was.

“Yeah, is Buck around?” He asked, making sure to keep a safe distance between them.

“He is, I think he came back with—“

Before she could finish, Eddie interrupted, “Thanks so much. Have a good shift!”

He was pretty sure he sprinted up the steps, unsure of how his feet were moving so fast. His mind was still racing, over and over with only thoughts of Buck clouding his conscience. Buck, who had been his best friend for years and had saved Eddie - not to mention Christopher - more times than he could count. Buck, who was the only thing Eddie had thought about for the last few months like a stream of what if’s and what could be’s that spiraled around his mind. Buck, Buck…

“Buck?” He called as he pounded his fist against the door. It was overkill, he knew. Buck had never not answered the door for anyone if he was home because he was just too kind to ignore someone who may be in need. Eddie’s smile widened on his lips at even the mere thought of Buck and he ran his hands over his face in both frayed nerves and sheer excitement as he waited for Buck to answer.

When the door opened and Buck’s confused look turned into a wide smile, Eddie pushed himself past the entrance and turned on Buck before either of them spoke. He thought at first that he wouldn’t know what to say, but then his eyes met Buck’s and he couldn’t stop himself from once the words started.

“I almost got shot today. Again,” Eddie added with a laugh, and Buck’s face contorted into that deep concern he seemed to always have for everyone but himself. “I’m fine, we’re all fine, but Buck, I was caught in the crossfire of yet another person with an indescribable amount of evil in their heart and it was like I was back there, in Afghanistan with enemy fire coming at all sides. That adrenaline, that fear, that instinct to survive kicked on in full force.”

“Eddie, are you—“ Buck tried to speak, his arms reached out as if to inspect Eddie for injury, but Eddie stepped closer and grabbed his hands tightly instead.

“And all I could think about was you,” Eddie admitted, shaking his head in disbelief that he had actually said it. “I heard the first shot and I thought, ‘thank god Buck isn’t here so I can focus on the girl I’m here to save’ and at no point did I stop to question why that was. Then I was loading her into the ambulance, about to crawl outta my skin with— with thrill just vibrating through me and somehow I found myself here.”

“Maybe we should—“ Eddie barely noticed Buck suddenly tense and glance over his shoulder.

“I realized that I am always going to find myself here because you’re my person, you know? My partner that I trust in times of severe danger, my best friend that I want to be around when anything exciting happens to me, and Jesus, Buck, I want you—“

“If it isn’t the one man at Station 118 that can’t stand me.” The voice had Eddie’s bubbling blood freezing in his veins and if he had hackles, he was sure they’d be standing at attention. Eddie turned and saw none other than Taylor Kelly - Eddie refrained from calling her the reporter from Hell because he knew Buck hated it - making herself comfortable in the kitchen with a half-empty champagne glass in her grasp and a knowing smirk on her face.

“I didn’t realize you were coming by, Eddie, I—“ Buck began, but Eddie held up his hand. It was then that he noticed Taylor’s discarded shoes next to the kitchen island and the already empty bottle of champagne on the counter.

“No, I’m— I’m sorry for barging in like this. I’ve clearly interrupted…” Eddie trailed off, tearing his eyes away from Taylor to gaze back at Buck, “whatever this is so I’ll just head out.”

“Why don’t you join us, Firefighter Diaz? We’ve got extra champagne to celebrate our successes today and I’m definitely not one to turn away fine looking men on such a beautiful night,” Taylor commented and Eddie noticed the glare Buck shot at her. He also noticed the twinkle in Buck’s eyes and the way his lip tugged up at the corner like he couldn’t help but be amused by her.

“You two have— a night. Together. Without, uh, me,” Eddie said before he rushed out the door.

-------------------------------

The door slamming interrupted the giggles bursting from Taylor’s lips. Buck knew she was tipsy - they both were, in all fairness, - but the way she snorted and then laughed some more told him she was far beyond safe to drive home that night.

“Oh my god, that poor dude, he just— came in here guns a-blazing,” Taylor said and then laughed more, presumably at her own ridiculous joke. She took a deep breath and shook her head, staring up at a wide-eyed Buck. “Well, what the hell are you still doing in here, idiot?”

“What? Where else would I—?” Taylor grabbed the cork from the counter and threw it directly at Buck’s head. It bounced off his temple and hit the floor before Buck reflexes could catch up to him. “Damn, Kelly, you play softball at journalism school or something?”

“Yeah, it’s what gave me such a good gaydar,” she replied. Buck was unsure how that was relevant to the conversation and tilted his head at her, pursing his lips in questions. “Buck, Eddie was trying to tell you he’s in love with you,” Taylor said, her voice more serious than he thought she’d be capable of with so much alcohol in her system.

“He— No— Wait, I— What?” Buck’s mind came up with rapid-fire responses because no part of him was truly ready to handle the fact that his best friend might feel the same for Buck as he had for the last two years.

“You’re not stupid, Buck, and I know I tell you all the time that you are, but you know I don’t mean it,” Taylor said, walking over to Buck and resting a comforting hand on his bicep. “Eddie was just spouting poetry at you, dude. You heard what happened over at dispatch today. If Josh hadn’t been so on his game, there’s a solid chance that Eddie - the entire team - might have—“

“Oh my god, he—“ All of sudden, Eddie’s words caught up with him. All I could think about was you. You’re my person. Forever. The words flashed in Buck’s mind like lightning on a hot summer night and he wasn’t sure he was breathing anymore.

“He loves you,” Taylor reassured, nudging him toward the door. All it took was the familiar beep of Eddie’s car unlocking for Buck to surge into action.

He threw himself down the stairs at least two at a time and pushed the door open with a huff and a shout for Eddie; his partner, his best friend, the person he had been in love with since the very beginning. Eddie stopped but didn’t turn, and Buck could see the white-knuckled grip he had on the door handle even in the limited light.

Buck was never good at saying the right thing. He spoke without thinking more often than not which anyone that had ever had a conversation with Buck would attest to, but he knew that he couldn’t do that then. Whatever he chose to say at that very moment would make or break their relationship even further than it might have already been the moment Eddie laid his eyes on Taylor.

He had it all planned out before. He would ask Eddie out on a real date and when he inevitably thought they were getting dinner as friends, Buck would declare his intentions with a brave voice and hope with everything in him that Eddie felt the same. He straightened his spine, brought his shoulders back, and crossed his arms over his chest, but the voice that followed did nothing to match the strong stance.  

“Athena arrested me today,” Buck noted, cursing himself at the ridiculous start. When Eddie didn’t turn around, Buck took a cautious step forward and rested a hand on his shoulder, grateful for the way his grip eased on the door. “I got into trouble that I shouldn’t have to try to do the right thing and it was probably reckless and stupid, but I did it as I’m sure you knew I would,” Buck laughed and shook his head as he admitted, “and the entire time I wished it was you beside me.”

He ignored the shout from Taylor who apparently didn’t like that comment.

“I didn’t know you were the one getting shot at, but if I did, I— I don’t think Athena could’ve kept me in that interview room,” Buck said, grateful when Eddie turned on him with wide eyes.

“Wait, Thena literally arrested you?” Eddie asked incredulously, but Buck saw the little bit of amusement in his eye anyway.

“I mean, nothing that’ll show up on record, cause you know I would’ve called you to bail me out,” Buck noted. Eddie laughed and looked down at the keys in his hands and Buck took the chance to move one step closer. “I didn’t know you were there, putting yourself in the line of fire, Eddie. The second I heard you say it, I couldn’t hear anything else because I was too worried that even though you were standing right in front of me, there was a chance you could not have been.”

“You didn’t… hear me?” Eddie asked, glancing up at Buck like his worst fear had come true. Buck was pretty sure the adrenaline rush Eddie had was washed away by seeing Taylor in his apartment and if that was Buck, he wouldn’t have the courage to say all that he admitted again. So Buck let himself take the reins.

“Do you wanna get dinner?” He asked, just as he had practiced so many times before.

“Do I want to…”

“God, Diaz, just say yes so that I can go pass out on Buck’s couch with the satisfaction of all the good I’ve done today,” Taylor yelled and Buck glared at her once again.

“Does saying yes to you mean I have to like her?” Eddie asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

Buck huffed out a laugh and said, “She grows on you.”

“Sounds like someone else I know,” Eddie commented as he locked his car doors again and pushed past Buck as easily as he had a few minutes ago.

“Is that a yes, then?” Buck asked as he jogged to catch up, bumping his waist into Eddie’s as they reached the front door.

“Got any more champagne?” Eddie asked, avoiding Buck’s question. Taylor let out a snort as she followed them into Buck’s apartment.

“Oh, I like this one, Buck. He’s gonna be good for you,” Taylor said before throwing herself on the couch and leaving the two men in the kitchen.

“He already is,” Buck muttered, staring over at Eddie who had helped himself to a beer he had no doubt left in Buck’s fridge. “Except he still hasn’t answered my—“

“Yes, Buck. Dinner sounds great.” And it really, really did.

#buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buck x eddie #eddie x buck #buddie fic #coda fic #911 coda #911 on fox #911 spoilers #ish #its not that spoilery i dont think?? #idk asldkjf;as #HOW THE SCENE SHOULD HAVE GONE IMO #my writing #hope you like it!

[peeterparkr]

perennial;tom holland|twelve.

chapter twelve: petunias.

↳ flower meaning: resentment, and anger.

chapter summary: monologues of brokenhearts. 

pairing: tom holland x y/n

warnings: this hurts, mention of Cherry, of cheating.

word count: 8.2K

SOCIAL MEDIA BEFORE THE CHAPTER:

masterlist & profiles  

eleven: y/n’s birthday

previous chapter next chapter   perennial masterlist.

perfidy  ( series masterlist)

wanna be tagged?

Hi, I’m back, hope you like this, please give some feedback! It was a super hard chapter to write haha, but I like how it turned out also check out  the holiday fic! it’ll be super fluffy haha if you need a break from angst from this fic! so yes, please help me out because tags aren’t working well so yeS! 

Shoutout to @jambrosemc for helping me get out of my writers block for this one! 

Falling in love with your enemy means falling in love with someone who knows exactly how to hurt you, and falling in love with Tom meant knowing she’d take a long risk. 

But she had taken the risk, and she had said it before, how she’d have her heart broken by him again. 

But… 

Not this. 

There are different kinds of heartbreaks, the sudden ones and the ones forming for a long time. The kind of heartbreak when the quirks that you once loved make you fall out of love, or the kind of heartbreaks where the silence becomes too loud. When the days are too short and the nights too long. 

When y/n referred to having her heart broken by Tom, she meant exactly that, the one heartbreak that doesn’t hurt as much, the heartache that you’re calm with because you both know you gave your best. 

Not this. 

It was like a truck suddenly hitting her. 

Not this. 

Y/N hadn’t really acknowledged the Cherry thing. She had ignored it, saying it wasn’t real, at first, as if postponing the real heartbreak, but then she was seeing it right there in front of her. 

Everything had poofed. All the magic, all the good things. A glass was suddenly broken, and the pieces had pierced right through her very own heart. Besides the glass had broken and now there was no window hiding it, she could clearly see it. And though it had been just a matter of seconds, it had felt like a thousand years. 

This feeling was so familiar, going all over it again, as if this was that one very night at the club when that pink skirt had kissed Tom. 

The very night when she’d learned heartbreaks can be felt. And man, did it hurt, did it sting. 

A scene. She should make a scene. 

Because this had been the worst one yet. This one had hurt the most. She didn’t know how the hell she was standing right there, keeping her posture. 

Had her heart stopped? Is this what dying felt like? And it felt like there was no one else there, just her seeing them. No packed up club. No. No, there was nothing left to do. And that was it. She wanted to run away. 

And so she did, because really. Though y/n was selfish and stupid or whatever adjective they liked to use to describe her, she always, even if people didn’t notice, put people she loved before her, and so she knew that if she dared to make a scene, knowing who was at the club, it would be everywhere. 

But she was also selfish, and she didn’t want to be on every celebrity news site. So instead, she decided to remove herself from that one narrative. As dramatic as it could be, she decided to run off, hoping no one would see her. 

Tom did see her. And he tried to reach out for her. But she got lost through the crowd. Tom knew, Tom knew he had fucked up. 

It seemed like too many things had gone by in just merely a few seconds. Y/N hadn’t been the only one who had noticed the kiss, James had. 

But y/n didn’t know that. And although, she had wanted to scream, shout and yell at every single person in that room, she didn’t. 

She ran to the bathroom, first, to take a deep breath as she clung to the sink. She was shaking. 

How the hell had she ignored it long enough? And why had she? Ignoring it had only meant this would hurt more. 

She couldn’t breathe. 

Because, honestly, how could she? Was she supposed not to hurt? Honestly, what she wanted to do is curl up in the middle of the bathroom and cry. And cry. And cry. 

But she didn’t, y/n had been brave enough to walk out of the bathroom, and she saw Tom trying to look up through the crowd for her. She barely could hear a thing, not sure if it was the actual music playing or her trying to avoid the drama, but she didn’t hear anything, everything was busy. 

Little did y/n know there had been a chaos. She hadn’t herself made a scene, but Tom had. 

It’s fair to say, Tom had not been the one to kiss Cherry. He, however, should know that though one never asks for a kiss, we hint it. 

That had been the problem. 

But he hadn’t hinted at it. We must know that this was one big misunderstanding, that had been cooking up for a while now and just like that, the one teapot had sung, and it had exploded. 

There was a lot going on, y/n hadn’t noticed. Just the faint song playing in the background. 

Sam had stopped her. 

“y/n, are you okay?” He had seen the look on her face. 

“No,” had been her only answer. She really wasn’t. 

“What--?” 

“Ask your brother if he’s not too busy snogging Cherry,” y/n had snapped. 

“Che-?” Then Sam had been disappointed in his own brother. Because how could he? Why would he? 

Y/N had the same question. And she’d ran off Sam’s grip. He had understood. 

She had only walked outside, decisively. She hadn’t cried inside but the moment she had walked out, it felt like she was freed from the one chaos and off to the one she was feeling herself. 

Right inside, Sam had reached for his brother who was currently yelling at Cherry, asking her what in the bloody world was going on. With Timothée, who was asking him the same thing at Tom. And Emma, too. 

“What in the bloody world is fucking wrong with you?” Emma had yelled at Cherry. “It’s your cousin’s boyfriend! And You!” She had turned to Tom. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” 

“Was this your fucking bloody plan?” Tim said. “Were you actually not in love with her and you're doing Rome 2.0?!” 

“He didn’t do it!” James had yelled. Because James had been the only one who saw the scene. 

Tom hadn’t… He couldn’t talk. Tom knew it. Tom knew this time… This was it. 

James had seen the scene, a bit, Tom was dancing, and watching y/n. He had seem bothered but his eyes were on y/n, and only y/n, though, he hadn’t hesitated as Cherry had danced with him, he had played along. 

Cherry had told James something, minutes before going with Tom. 

“I am in love with him.” 

Though Tom had a lot to blame on that situation, James knew this wasn’t Tom per se. Because James over the course of this week had, although, hesitated on Tom, he knew that Tom was very in love with his sister. Problem was Tom sabotaged himself, and this seemed like the one sabotage he wouldn’t get out of. James had been unsure as to what she was supposed to answer to Cherry’s statement, he had only gone to the bar to get a drink, and assimilate, he had invited Cherry, but  James had lost track of where Cherry was, and as soon as James had found her, her lips were already on Tom. 

Tom had pushed her off right away, we must point that out. 

But then, James saw it, y/n had seen it. 

And he had tried to follow after y/n, but she had really easily got lost. The lights and music had been no help. 

But he knew his sister and after clearing it up to Emma, though he didn’t have to, that it had not been Tom, he had known where his sister was. 

And so he had ran out of the club, and  James had reached out for y/n, unsure of what to tell her. 

She had yelled at James, at Clark, but one knight in shining armor had come to her rescue. Harry. 

Not in the way she had expected him to, but Harry was going exactly through the same situation y/n was. Or maybe not, but he had decided he should leave. And so as he was hopping on to his uber, y/n decided to hop along with him as well, seeing Tom had just walked out of the bar. 

Harry, confused, only watched her. 

He couldn’t really help her, either, he was going through a heartbreak as well. So funny, the two friends had just witnessed the love of their lives kissing someone else. 

“I’m sorry,” y/n said. “I had to leave.” 

Harry didn’t know what had happened, luckily enough for him, and for Tom, he had not been aware of the big drama that was still going on at that club.  He wasn’t sure if he was supposed to ask, as y/n was trying to catch her breath. 

She was broken, as she hadn’t been before. Harry had seen every single stage of a sad y/n, but this was different. She was sobbing and weeping and mumbling unreasonably. 

Harry couldn’t soothe her sorrow. Because he had to have his own sorrow, he couldn’t help it. 

But y/n had let out one last sob before calming down. Silently. As if she had had one sudden last realization. 

“I’m… I’m sorry, where are you going?” Y/N asked. 

Harry shrugged. “I don’t know, something to eat, I just wanted to leave,” he admitted. 

“I’m sorry I… interrupted your escape.” 

“No, it’s okay,” Harry nodded. “I guess you needed to, as well.” 

“What happened to you?” 

“Emma kissed Josh,” Harry said. Y/N had widened her eyes and curled up close to him. “What happened to you? Did Tom and Tim fight?” 

Y/N stayed quiet. 

“Or…?” 

“Tom and Cherry kissed.” 

Harry felt his heart stopped as soon as he had listened to it. This… At least he wasn’t seeing Emma. Yes, it hurt, but he was not dating her. His own sorrow didn’t have reason but y/n’s? 

He hugged her close. 

“Wanna go for some fries?” He asked. 

“Yes.” 

They stayed quiet, but they hugged each other close, and both understood neither of them could give out any advice or whatever. 

They went to the diner. Harry knew that a feeling of familiarity would help y/n, and he knew that it would help him because it was the only place he could think of. 

Neither of them had said anything, and y/n had tried to clean up the smudge mascara and glitter on her face, now tracing the trails of her tears. 

She had asked for a milkshake and Harry had asked for a coffee, and she was wearing Harry’s jacket. 

The scene was painted clearly. Both of them were so heartbroken, but different kinds of ones. Both of them full of sadness and sorrow. 

“How are you feeling?” Harry asked. 

y/n looked up. “Empty.” 

And Harry knew this was the worst feeling of a heartbreak. Because Harry was sad, and feeling guilty. But feeling empty was the one thing that he knew y/n hated. Because usually y/n could easily say how she was feeling: ‘Sad’, ‘Angry’, ‘Disappointment’. 

Empty. 

She was feeling empty, and feeling empty gives us no inkling to fight, feeling empty gives us no reason to cry or yell. Feeling empty means giving up. 

Empty. 

“You?” She asked. 

“Sad,” he answered, as they’d brought them their fries. “Very sad.” 

Y/N nodded. “Emma doesn’t have feelings for him,” she assured him. “I know that.” 

“I know,” Harry said. “I know, but she did it to…” 

“Prove a point, yeah,” y/n said. “I know, that only makes it hurt more, doesn’t it?” 

Harry looked at y/n. “He doesn’t-” 

“I know, he did it to hurt me,” y/n answered,her voice had cracked. Her phone was ringing. It was James. She ignored it. 

Y/N didn’t know how to put it into words, actually. How to actually say what she was feeling. She was actually empty, but so full of emotions. She was enraged, she was sad, upset, disappointed and hurt, and just too much going on, but at the same time she didn’t want to do anything about it. Not cry. Not yell. Not anything. 

It felt the same way it had those years ago. Pink skirt. 

But this hurt more, because even when she had made mistakes herself, she knew she didn’t deserve this. 

Because she felt like she knew the ending to this, she wished she didn’t, but this felt so familiar. Y/N had died a little that night. It felt dark, like she had been on fire but all she was was ashes now. 

And there was that feeling that she didn’t want to waste more tears on him, she didn’t want to. She had become a ghost, Tom had killed her that night. Any hope. That was it, there was that feeling that she should fight but she couldn’t because there was no life left on her. Not at that moment. 

Tom hadn’t called her. 

“I’m sorry he did it,” Harry said. 

“I guess I…” She didn’t know. “I didn’t expect him to hurt me this time, and he did it, turning my worst fear into another nightmare I can’t wake up from.” 

Harry didn’t know what to say. 

“And I don’t want to cry.” 

“You do need to,” Harry said. 

“I won’t,” she admitted. 

They stayed there, quietly. Neither of them knowing what to say. 

“Want me to take you home?” 

“No, because Tim will be there, and I don’t want go to your place because-” 

“Tom will be there and at your aunt’s… yeah,” Harry finished her sentence. “Let’s go get a hotel room, then.” 

They did. And it was good for both of them. 

And she was expecting for the call. Staring at her phone, waiting for it. Tom. Please, please, please. 

He didn’t. 

And she didn’t have it in herself to call her, she didn’t have the strength or the power or anything. She was empty. 

Her worst enemy. He knew how to hurt her. 

Harry knew what this meant. Because Harry knew what was going on through her head. 

Tom had been the first one to put that fear on y/n when they were young, why would anyone want you, and then Louis had enforced it. Louis had said it to her ‘you’re replaceable, nothing special, that’s why everyone leaves.’ Just as Louis had found another girl. 

Then Tom had done the pink skirt show. And Tim, not knowing this, had also enforced it, right after y/n and Tim had broken up, Tim had found a rebound. 

And now this. 

This was y/n’s worst fear, and that’s why she felt so unbelievably broken, because of course Tom would do it again. Was this only just another way of Tom to ruin her? Were they still enemies or why was he doing this? 

Or was she truly replaceable? Boring. 

Harry wanted to know what was going on in her mind. She was lost in her memory, staring blankly at the elevator door as they went up to the hotel room. Harry wasn’t sure if he was supposed to stay. 

“Please, stay,” she had begged him. 

And he had, because he also needed company. 

She had only sat on the bed, staring at nothing, as if she was trying to understand the situation, figure out why, map everything out. 

Harry exhaled. Knowing that he too, had to let it out, and knowing that she would listen. 

He wanted to cheer her up, and he wanted to remind her of good times, get her head out of it, but he didn’t know how to get out himself. He wanted to calm her, comfort her, but he couldn’t. 

And he knew his heartbreak probably couldn’t compare to his but his guilt was always eating him. 

“Did he ever truly love me?” y/n asked. 

Harry didn’t know what to answer to that question, because he was wondering about it himself. How could anyone ever kiss someone if you’re in love with…

But then again, he had kissed y/n knowing he was deeply in love with Emma. 

“Yes,” he said. 

“Why did he sleep with her?” She asked, the emotion was building up. “I… why did he kiss her?” 

Harry shrugged. “I have no idea.” But he knew y/n wasn’t really looking for an answer. She was probably asking questions to herself. 

“Why did he do it” She asked now louder as she stood up. “Why did I-” And she was having difficulty to breath. “Why didn’t I see it coming? Why have I been ignoring it? Does he have feelings for her? Did he do it to hurt me again? Was it a prank? Is it a prank again? Is he… Is it like” She was yelling in between breaths, as she was shaking. “Is this… Is this all over again? Did he do it just to- What did I do wrong? What if he.. What if… I can’t… I don’t… Why is he doing this? Why hasn’t he called me? Will he… Will he come over again and say he never meant anything and it--- I was--- Did he--- Harry why did --- why did he do this?” She had spoken loudly, quickly and barely breathing, screaming but quietly, as if she was only externalizing every thought in her head, she had to sit down again, now tears blurring her sight. “Did… he ever truly love me?” She asked, quietly, as she sat down on the bed. “Why would-” She was inhaling and exhaling deeply. 

Harry hated seeing her like this so he only brought her close to him, holding her closely. She cried against his chest, and they had laid down, with him holding her. Knowing that this was what she needed, she couldn’t be left alone. 

“I’m sorry Harry, you’re brokenhearted-” She had said at one point as she had sat up. 

“It’s nothing like yours,” Harry admitted. 

She had walked around the room. “Why did I have to fall in love with him?” 

Harry didn’t say anything. 

“I wish I hadn’t,” she said. “Look at all the pain and now--” She bit her lip. “I guess, I have… This is on me-” 

“No, it’s not.” 

“No, it is, because I’ve been avoiding the whole Cherry thing,” she said. “I thought that by avoiding it, it would eventually fade away and disappear, and… I know I fucked up, but not even on my worst mistakes, no matter what I did, I didn’t deserve this,” she said. 

“No.” 

“And I’m....” She sighed. “He doesn't’ have feelings for her, does he?” 

“No.” 

She had opened up the frigobar, and gotten out a bottle of vodka and some m&m’s. 

“That’s what- He kissed her because he knew I’d be watching her, and he’s probably trying to get back at me for… dancing with Timmy? Is it that this time?” She sighed. “I don’t know what for he is getting back at me this time, and I can’t… Can you bloody believe that just 24 hours ago I thought… I… I thought I was strong enough to go through another heartbreak and look at me.” 

Harry watched her. 

“It hurt more than last time, I thought I… had gotten used to it but you can never get used to the love of your life hurting you,” she was too… sure of it. “And… I’m an idiot, and… I don’t know, I want to know what I did wrong this time, but… Here I am, wondering, and I know this isn’t me, this is Tom, and maybe I was so stupid and I havent’ seen it, maybe it was all a big hoax for him trying to hurt me again,” she scoffed. “like he did back after Rome, and here I thought he was… I don’t know, how stupid am I? This is on me, for giving myself to him completely, and now… I don’t want to… I just need an answer this time, I don’t need… I don’t need an apology, I just need an answer, I need to… I curse myself, for falling in love with him without taking any precautions,” she took a deep breath, as tears were slowly falling down her face. “And yes sure, I wrote a script and I… Wanted to get back at him, but I never did, you know? And I never would, for that matter, because... This is on me, this is my punishment for falling in love with my biggest enemy, with a memory. And maybe this is… what we were supposed to be since the very beginning, you know?” 

Harry only watched her as she sipped down the mini bottle. 

“I regret falling in love with him,” she stated. “And it’s… so hard, because how can… you ever regret the one person that at some point you were the happiest to?” she asked, not expecting an answer, she had walked to the window to see the night sky that was slowly yawning into the morning. “And… It… Harry it makes no sense, because when I… When I looked into his eyes, I saw…I saw the world,” she still sounded full of hope, but just as she said each word, the hope was fading away. “But now it seems like all of it was a lie, a dream and I can’t believe how quickly it ended and how easily all of that broke it’s like the universe is telling me that I’m… I’m the fool, and I didn’t… I didn’t ask for much, and I… I can’t believe I’m waiting for his call,and he’s not calling me, Harry, why isn’t he… “ She took a deep breath as she tried to suppress a sob. “Was this his plan all along? To break me so I’d end up getting drunk on a hotel bar?” She wondered. “Because it makes no sense Harry, I… just last night I thought I wanted to spend my whole life with him,” she shook her head, staring at the ground. “That he was the answer to all my problems but I guess…He was my problem,” she sighed. “I was always supposed to lose him, because he’s never been mine, has he?” She asked to the night.  Why would… why would he hurt me this way if not?” She was trying to figure out herself, blurting out every thought. “Why is he… Cant he see he is… was… everything to me? Can’t he understand that… I’ve…” She sat down beside Harry again and he only brushed her back. “And now I’m going through it, and it just makes no sense.” She let out a heavy breath. “And yes, I’ve done bad things, but this? Why did he have to fade away so quickly?” She looked up, hurt, her voice was breathy, and Harry had never heard her so broken. “And why is he not trying to apologize? And do I even want him to?” She stood up and ran a hand through her hair. “But god, I don’t want to go there again, I… This feels like that one time.” She hugged herself as she finally let out a quiet sob. “And now it slipped away, and it was so close, and it was so close, so…. Close… and did I not give him everything?” She licked her inner cheeks, taking a long pause, but Harry knew he wasn’t supposed to answer just yet.  “It is that? Was I not enough? Is it that?” 

Harry only stared at her, as he could see her mind being loud. She went quiet. But he knew that she had a million thoughts, like she always did. 

“Maybe it’s that, “ she nodded slowly. “Maybe I’m boring, Louis had said it, hadn’t he?” Y/N scoffed slowly. “But… I don’t know? Was I supposed to give more?” She sat down on the one chair in the room and then turned quieter. “For me it was enough, but he was… never mine.” 

Harry wondered if this was how Emma felt. Though he should be helping y/n, he had to wonder if this was how Emma felt. But they were different, y/n and Emma, but he guessed it was somehow similar. 

“And now he… he took everything from me, he just… I’ll…” She couldn’t continue. “Harry how am I supposed… What am I supposed to do now? And yes I know I made mistakes by not wanting to talk, but what use would it have been if he was going to break my heart anyway, and why hasn’t he called?” She asked again and started at her phone and closed her eyes. “ I.. I should put my phone back in normal mode, but I know… “ she mumbled. “What if he… What if he goes and sleep with her and doesn’t care?” She asked. “And… Or is he doing this because of Tim?” she groaned. “I don’t… love Tim,” she stated. “and I’ve known it for a long time, and, though I tried to convince myself I should I never… “ She closed her eyes again, shaking her head. “It’s always been Tom and now it doesn’t matter because all he does is break me and I didn’t want to believe that and he.. “ She checked her phone. “He hasn’t called or texted and… Was this on purpose?” She asked, and walked through the room. “And I tried to adjust myself to this and I didn’t want to talk about it, because I thought..” She raised her voice. “if I ignore it long enough it’ll fade, and we can build us a happy ending and it’ll be alright, just me and him and…” she sighed. “And now it’s long gone, Harry, it’s long gone and now it’s not… I don't know, and I… I've never done anything to hurt him, and what about Tom? why did he have to...At least… Did he even try this time? Or was it… It’s I can’t believe this.” She plopped on her bed. 

Harry plopped beside her. 

“Tom loves you,” Harry said, because he was sure of that. “I don’t… understand this, this doesn’t sound…” 

“Oh, no piss off, this is totally him.” 

“He always… I guess, he became the villain he was supposed to be,” Harry explained. 

“What is that supposed to mean?” 

“He just... “ Harry squeezed his eyes. “Look, he was always told that Tim was perfect, and he always ws the bad one, you know? And maybe he was told that long enough he became the villain.” 

“But he’s not a villain for me,” she said. “Not this time, and even when I was writing the script I always saw him and… Didn’t I love him?” She sat up. “ Didn’t I show him that he is…”Tears were streaming down, she cleaned them up. “Gosh, why am I even crying?” She asked herself. “I… I… I didn’t expect him to hurt me, though I said that to James, I was scared yes, but not… I don’t know, I didn’t feel like myself because I don’t know, and I was scared it would end but not like this, and you don’t-” 

“I don’t know, y/n he sabotages himself,” Harry explained, still on the bed, stealing the liquor from her hand and taking a sip. 

She plopped back beside him. “But why does he? Why...I don’t even understand this. I… I am done with this.” 

Harry turned to look at her. “Are you?” 

“I don’t know. Was he getting back at me for the script?” She groaned. “Was he… angry that the first person I slept with was Tim?” 

“I dunno, did he find out about you and Tim sleeping together?” He asked. 

She shook her head. “Even if he did, that gives him no right to it. I .I can’t. “ 

“I know it doesn’t but this is Tom,” Harry stated matter-of-factly. 

“That’s my point,” y/n took a deep breath. “Why is he like this? Why is he like that Harry?” she whined. “Why does he feel like even if I slept with TIm it gives him the right to hurt me? Why does he… He knows he fucking owns my heart then why the hell does she do that? “ she frowned. And then crushed the m&m’s. “He fucking decides to rip it off and crush it.” 

“I wanted m&m’s.” 

“Why can’t he… I didn’t… I didn’t sleep with Tim to hurt him, I slept with Tim to not feel like shit, because when I saw him… when I saw that picture with Cherry, he kissed her cheek like he used to kiss mine and I just…”She sighed. “I… what if... Maybe he does have feelings for Cherry and I don’t-

“He doesn’t.” 

“The eyes he gave her-”

“They’re not the same eyes he gives to you, y/n,” Harry said. Though he really didn’t want to defend his brother, and though this was so shitty of his brother, something didn’t sit right with him. 

“No, I don’t know,” y/n said. 

 Harry bit his lip. “I look...I don’t know, but, Tom is stupid okay and I don’t know why he would do this but I can assure you he doesn’t have any feelings for her.” 

“Why is he doing this?” She asked. “because look, Emma?” she turned to him, and Harry turned to her to. “Emma did this because she wants your attention, she fucking wants to convice herself that she is supposed to be angry and she is doing this because she… I don’t know, because this is herself trying to tell you she’s better off without you, or that she wants you to fight for her, or-” 

“Yes I know, she did this to show me how it feels,” Harry nodded. 

“But Tom? Why the fuck is he doing that?” she grabbed a pillow and hugged it.  “I never know why he does this? Even when we were young he used to do stuff that will always have me second guessing and now this?.” 

“I wish I knew.” 

Y/N shook her head. “And I love him. After all of this, I love him, “ she sounded tired. “But I—I won’t. This is why this hurts too much, this is why I regret falling in love with him so deeply because it wouldn’t have mattered. And I know I hurt him but he doesn’t know how I’ve felt, he doesn’t even—And fucking cherry, I’m her bloody cousin, why did she do that? And--- didn’t Tom say he didn’t want to fuck up this time? I had already dried my tears, and he said he wouldn’t fuck up, didn’t he?” 

“He did.” 

She sat up again. “Then why did he?” she was sad again. “All I asked was to be loved, and all I ever wanted was to feel loved, and not get into this darkness and I thought I didn’t have to fear him and.. He was so…” she was turning quiet. “warm and calm, and I was free, you know?” she sighed heavily. “I just wanted him to love me, that’s it, I didn't ask for anything else, to love me every single moment you know? I just wanted to... “She was crying. “I don’t know, and I thought he would. And I’m an idiot because I knew I’d need him until my last breath, but I can’t… believe he decided to murder me tonight.” She hugged her knees. “He assured me he wouldn’t want to hurt me this time, he said it, that my fears should be left  behind me, and then why did he… use them as a weapon? Was it still a war? And… I don’t want to be lonely again. But everytime he breaks my heart I get lonelier.” 

“You’re not lonely, though,” Harry said. 

“I feel like it.” 

“I don’t… know what to tell you,” Harry admitted. 

“That’s a first,” y/n sighed. “You’ve always known.” 

Harry bit his lip. “Yeah.”

“I’m sorry I haven’t even let you…” She looked at him. “How do you feel?” 

Harry shrugged. “Dunno, I feel like I’m… I deserve it you know, and I mean I’m-” 

“You don’t, nobody deserves pain coming their way,” she said. 

“Yet, we’re both here,” Harry took a deep breath. “And I know she’s always going to blame me for it. Maybe that’s why we both-” 

“Why you’ve been avoiding me, yes,” y/n said. “And… Why I’ve been avoiding you as well.” 

“We didn’t need to add more drama did we?” Harry scoffed. “Us hanging out would just-” 

“Yeah,” she sighed. “But… does it matter?” 

“Guess it doesn’t,” he sighed. “I’ve missed you.” 

“I’ve missed you, too, honestly,” she said. 

“And okay, this is going to sound- but it’s not meant to sound this way, but I hate you for falling in love with my brother because of all people...him?” 

“Shut up.” 

“Like, I don’t mean it in…” He sighed. “I wish I could give you advice but-” 

“But you’re also loyal to him,” she sighed. “You can’t truly be on my side. “ 

“Oh, I am on your side,” Harry clicked his tongue. “I don’t understand why he is doing this,” he admitted. “I don’t… get it.” 

“Don’t get it either,” y/n sighed. “And he hasn’t called. 

“Think he will?” 

“Hope he will,” she said. “Or maybe not,” she sighed. “Maybe not.” 

“He… texted me,” Harry admitted. 

Y/N looked at him. 

“He asked if I was with you and if you were safe,” Harry asked. 

“That’s it?” 

Harry nodded and showed her the text. Nothing else. Y/N sighed. 

“Want me to ask him anything?” He offered. 

She did, for that matter. What the hell was wrong with him? For starters. “No,” she answered instead. 

“No?” 

She shook her head. “No.” Because, if he hadn’t asked, then it didn’t bother him. Why hadn’t he asked how she was doing or… Or, honestly why had-- No, of course he wouldn’t. No, because asking it on text… no. But why hadn’t he asked where they were? 

Why hadn’t he come with yellow flowers? Or would he—the next day? And say it was all a prank? 

“Emma texted me too,” y/n confessed. “Only asked if I was okay.” 

“And what did you answer?” 

“That I wasn’t.” 

Neither of them had really acknowledged it. But eventually, they had fallen asleep, holding each other. In the most innocent way they could, just two best friends broken-hearted who didn’t know how to heal each other.

Eventually the both woke up, with not a tinge of guilt. Though maybe they should’ve.  But they didn’t. Y/N had barely slept if she was honest, she kept waking over and over and checking her phone to see if he dared to call her. 

Tom hadn’t called her. 

At some point they both had woken up, y/n had explained a lot about what had gone before New York, after New York. Here in LA, before Tom arrived and how it had gone now he had. And things after Rome, before Rome. 

Harry had talked about how his feelings had gone through with her, how eventually he had realized that he didn’t love her the way he had thought he had, or maybe he had. And how at some points he did still feel bitter about them not being able to be together. How his life had changed, and how much he had missed her, how he had seen her face at places where they used to have fun in. But how his mind came back to Emma. 

How he understood that love wasn’t something easy to comprehend. And that at some point he did wish it had been y/n, because it would’ve been fun, and easier, not the mess they were both going with. 

How Harry’s dreams had changed, he still wanted to go on adventures but they didn’t make any sense if Emma was there. And how he wished he could continue with more movies, but how he knew that their very best projects, they’d both, Harry and y/n, built together would never see the light. But how fun could it be? 

He did wonder how things would be different had they done something, but both of them realizing they wouldn’t have worked out, because they… just were too similar or knew too much, and knowing too much leads us to one’s doom. 

And they talked on how maybe with each other it would have been fun, and easy, but they simply weren’t meant to be. 

Harry talked about Emma, how she was the one he smiled with, remembering those pair of high heels she loved to wear, and that lipstick she loved. But how stupid he was because he’s young, and how y/n was right and he shouldn’t have proposed that soon, but how couldn’t he? He knew it, Emma and Harry were meant to be. But now he blew it because after chasing the wrong one, he’d lost the right one. However, Harry knew that Emma and Harry were meant to cross paths again. 

And Harry talked about how Emma was the one person who’d loved him no matter what, flaws and all, and how it felt like a kiss in the middle of the forest, but with a summer breeze. Daylight. 

How he missed daylight. 

He hadn’t had any since Emma was gone. 

Y/N listened, and wished someone could ever talk about her some day. And it hurt y/n, just a little. Because she had said it: probably the only one who did was Tim. Because she knew Tom didn’t. Or she didn’t believe it at that point. 

And then y/n explained how Tim had lied, or suppressed a truth. How she felt she’d used Tim, but how she was inexplicably drawn to him. But she guessed it was because she didn’t feel replaceable with him. 

The sun had finally peaked through the room, and Harry and y/n didn’t want to go anywhere, but Harry had offered to go to her place and get her some clothes, and y/n had agreed. She wasn’t fond of the clothes she had been wearing the night before and now her face was still covered on the smudge makeup. Honestly her face was probably a representation of her own feelings. Dirty and messy and unfixable. She didn’t want to go back into her place because she didn’t want to run into Timmy, and she knew she would. And she really didn’t want to. Because honestly, her heart was not in the mood and she knew how it would go, Timmy saying that he told her so, that Tom was this and that. And Timmy would take her vulnerability and she would give in because he doesn’t make her feel like shit and that’s what she didn’t want. 

Right now, even though this was all wrong, she did want to feel like shit so it could all boil up. And she didn’t want to hear Tim go over and over on how Tom was shit. 

And yes he probably was but this. This was y/n not wanting to accept it, she needed to boil it up.

Harry had gone to y/n’s place, and y/n had painted Harry the picture, that probably Timothee would be there waiting up for her, she had said it:

“He’ll have fresh coffee and will be cooking breakfast waiting for me to arrive so he is the one to comfort me.” 

Harry had never seen y/n like this, so knowingly. He had underestimated her, y/n was very aware of many things, and one of those things was Timothee, of course she knew that Tim would climb and move mountains for her, and she liked it because who doesn’t like being treated like an angel? 

And y/n had been right, Tim did have fresh coffee when Harry had knocked on the door. Not breakfast, but Tim did have a cup for himself. 

“Oh, Harry?” Tim had said with surprise. 

“Did you really expect y/n?” Harry snapped harshly. 

“I-well, no, honestly, thought you’d be Tom searching for her,” he admitted. “I… Is she okay?” 

Harry didn’t like Timothée at that point. Because Harry didn’t know why but he felt like Tim had a lot to do with the events from the night before. Because after what he’d heard y/n say, Harry thought that Tim was probably ruthless and would do anything for y/n. 

Harry didn’t know what answer to give to Timothee, because Tim was the enemy here, Harry knew. “She’s fine,” that’s what Harry had gone with. 

“Oh.” 

“I came to pick up her clothes,” Harry said. “I think-” 

“She told me,” Emma had said, popping from her room. Harry had tried to avoid seeing inside, fearful that Josh would be there. He wasn’t. “Now come here, before you see the big mess waiting to happen.”

Harry glanced at Tim before following Emma into y/n’s room, he’d seen a pillow and a blanket on the couch. Emma took out some clothes, and then went to the bathroom, picked up her toothbrush, and packed it up all quietly for Harry. 

Emma handed it over, “So you run to y/n?” She asked. 

“I’m not-” 

“You are, Harry, you chose her over-” 

“I’m not choosing her over you,” Harry snapped. “I’m just---” 

“You just what Harry?” 

“What do you expect me to do?” Harry said. “You have you friend here, Tim,” he pushed. “She needs a friend and a friend who actually-” 

“Who is in love with-” 

Harry almost dropped the bag. “Look Emma I know I fucked up,” he said. “I was confused because I did have a crush on her and I mixed my feelings and I still love her and she’s my best friend but I realized that I never felt the way with her I felt about you, you were—are my everything,” he said. “You really are the only one I want, and you’re the onand I feel so stupid for letting you go, and I feel so stupid for breaking your heart and I’m dying because I don’t know what happened, I don’t know how to bloody talk to you anymore, I’m---”He sighed. “Because you simply push me away and you just don’t—I know I did something bad alright? I know I was the one to—be wrong but I didn’t plan on it, I was so happy with you, you were the only fucking star on ym sky, okay? … you’re you’re … I know you feel like I want her and I know it, but Emma! we were engaged and I’m sure we were so happy and I curse both Tom and y/n because they didn’t talk and they didn’t solve it and look where it’s led them!” He snapped. “I… meanwhile I’ve tried to talk to you because I want something with you that will last, I want us to be transparent and I want you to be happy but if you’re happy with someone else I get it, and if you only kissed him to make me feel the way you feel I get it, I did something utterly wrong but I’m—I am just—confused because this is not you, or maybe I’m wrong and this is the most you you can be,” he sighed. “And I don’t know, you just want me out of your life or… I don’t-” 

“I didn’t want you to be out of my life,” she said. 

“I know, and I didn’t want to be either, but you’re really keeping me out and I get it, I’m sorry, you don’t understand how sorry I was, and I’ll regret it my whole life because I decided to let go of the one, but I was confused very confused, , and you’re just watching me as if I was a stranger, Emma, and I know I get no other chance but you don’t even listen to me, I don’t love her like you think I do, and I am  I don’t know I feel like a stranger, to you, to y/n, and I—don’t like that.” Harry said. “And I get it, you were hurt and I will never stop blaming myself for it…. And I know I’ve been absent, but I—don’t know how to approach you, but I love you so, so much—you’re incredible Emma, you are this amazing person who doesn’t give a flying fuck about what everyone has to say, and that’s what I love about you among another million reasons, and you’re literally the only person that I want to share my happiness with and I want to build plans and chase dreams with but…. I—yes right now I’m gonna take care of y/n, because last night… She broke completely, okay? And… just like when… our engagement party, and Tim was there for you, and you are strong, I know it gives me no excuse but… I’m not doing this because-She’s my best friend, and I’m just trying to help her but I—I can't see her as anything but as a best friend and as the girl my brother is deeply in love with, and as the girl whose heart was absolutely shattered last night.” 

Emma didn’t say anything.

“I really want to fix things with you,” he added. “And if you give me the chance, I’ll prove to you how much you mean to me, and if… If you if you think… If you want me to stay right now and not go, fine, I’ll do that. Because you’re my everything, Emma.” 

Emma  only nodded and handed him her plush frog, too. “She’s gonna need it,” she said. 

“But can we talk, later?” 

“Yes, now go, she needs you.” 

With that Harry had a blessing to go, but when he had come back to the hotel room, he hadn’t found y/n. 

Because y/n, as soon as Harry had left, she had left herself. Y/N had had time with herself, and the rage had boiled up, and sometimes rage is confused with bravery, and stupidity. 

She’d gone to the flower shop, first. Aunt Eliza was behind the counter. 

“Y/N, dear, what happened to you?” 

“Didn’t Cherry tell you?” Y/N snapped, and then took a deep breath, knowing this was not to blame on her. “Sorry-I-”

“No, she didn’t come back home last night.” 

And there it was again. That feeling. The tears. No, no, had this come to her worst nightmare again? 

“She didn’t?” y/n just had to make sure. 

“No,” Eliza said. “What happened?” 

Y/N didn’t have the heart to tell her aunt, but she did anyway. “Your daughter kissed Tom.” 

Eliza watched y/n as if she understood her state now, as if suddenly it all made sense. “I’m--sorry.” 

“And she slept with him before she came here, yeah,” she added. “So-Yeah, I’m not exactly fond of her right now, I’m sorry,” y/n said. 

“I... Don’t know what-” 

“This ain’t your fault, no need to worry.” 

“I didn’t raise-” 

“I know, I know, look, I just… need some flowers, alright? I… these ones, I’ll take them, you can take them off from my salary-” 

“No, no, take them, whichever you want, y/n dear I’m sorry sorry-” 

“No, really, it’s okay,”  y/n interrupted as she took a bouquet of mostly yellow flowers. It was pretty enough, but it didn’t matter, in all honesty. 

And she left without giving any other explanation, probably the uber thought she was mental but y/n couldn’t care any less. She didn’t care that she was crying in the back of the car of an uber, because Tom still hadn’t called her and she had some idea why. How dare he? 

And it hurt even more, and she felt emptier, but now she was also full of it. 

Y/N had shown up to that place Tom had rented. And though she looked deplorable she didn’t even care because he had to see this, her state, this is what he’d done to her. And she had the right to make a scene. 

He hadn’t been the one to open the door, for her own surprise, it had been James. 

“y/N! Oh, you’re- Harry told me you’d be at a hotel-” 

“Where the fuck is he?” Y/N snapped. 

James backed away, knowing so damn well he shouldn’t mess with his sister. 

“He’s in the shower,” he said. “I think he-” 

“Fine,” y/n walked past her brother and started to make her way to the shower. 

“Wait, wait, y/n, want to wait for him?” James suggested. 

“No,” y/n snapped. 

“He had a really bad night-” 

“Oh,” Y/n stopped. “Did he now? Oh, what a shame I had such a fucking wonderful night!” 

James took a deep breath and took his sister’s shoulders. “Y/N, it’s-” 

“I don’t care James-are you on his fucking side? Is she here-?” 

“What?” 

“You know what I want to hear from him,” she stormed off, and James followed after. 

“Y/N don’t you want to wait until-” 

“I’ve seen his fucking dick James, I don’t bloody care!” She snapped, before running into the bathroom. Knowing damn well she was taking a risk of seeing someone she didn’t want to. 

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