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blue-eyed-bloodstains · 10 months

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Do you know anyone who always makes themselves out to be the victim? HAHAHAHAHHAAAA...yep! umm got a pen and paper?? mostly my mom. nuff said.

Have you ever wished you had been born the opposite sex? I mean not like that, ya know? more like "would my life have been different HAD I been born different?"

What were some of your favorite books your parents read to you as a child? I can't really remember "bedtime stories" per se, but childhood stories...? of course all the typical nursery rhymes, then again as I was an adult and found Andrew "Dice" Clay (stand up comic back in the 80s/90s) and heard his new renditions...can never hear them the same again lmao

Have you ever been insulted or called names by a significant other? okay this is different given its by a significant other right..? ummm really not to my face, but cheating and seeing who I was cheated on with I think pretty much says it :|

What’s your favorite movie battle scene? oh god given I've never been huge into your usual action movies...umm most of mine to be honest? anything in the REAL Bourne movies..aka with Matt Damon, and yes that includes the whatever you wanna call it yeaars after the Renner one aka Bourne 4...when Matt was brought back? he still got it!

Do you drink more frequently than once a week? heh used to...let's not go there

Do you have any step-grandparents? umm yeah always have...one's passed, the other is still alive...

What is something popular that you refuse to participate in? TikTok dances...I mean I finally caved and downloaded the app itself, I just can't dance for shit XD sooo yeah won't see me trying any...except for the Applebees one since I worked there twice so it hits close to home and I may or may not have damn near memorized those moves off the commercial from tik tokers :P

Do you oftentimes find it difficult to relate to other peoples’ feelings? a lot...especially when it's those who "say" they can relate but first of all, not in your circumstances...two, as far as just in general? yeah I can relate wayy more on so much shit than they know, whether deep shit or just usual day to day..so...it varies. depends on the person and situation, including how I meet them...

What’s a common misconception about your country? oh lord lol I've seen so many memes about this, especially between us and Brits umm..the food. by all means, ours are so bad for you but from what I've seen recipe/custom "snack" or whatever wise? umm...we gotta talk lol and I got a bff from the UK and we constantly debate about this so I have inside info! XD

How far away do you live from the house you grew up in? oh god I moved around so much but my main one? 1 hr 56 mn drive, not sure if that's counting traffic lol

Have you ever been to a same-sex wedding? first of all, define "wedding"...but no but by all means get me my dress and I'm there!

Who takes care of your pet(s) when you’re out of town? I'm ALWAYS home since he's gone more than he's home so...our cat is well taken care of trust me. and she is a hellion given he's gone more than he's home so since I'm here, she takes it out on me :|

Do you practice meditation? Never

What’s your favorite Marvel movie? Black Widow is one right...? my bff constantly cosplays as her cause she loves ScarJo so yes...although I've always wanted to f*** Rob Downey Jr. sooo I guess Iron Man is mine? XD

What was the last thing you wrote down on paper? doc appointments to write on the calendar

What’s the population of your hometown? hard to answer given I moved around so much

Have you ever eaten Cajun food? What about Creole food? no I've never been a fan of spicy food to begin with but I have severe health issues that literally don't let me anyway

If you’ve had both, which cuisine do you prefer? look above

Did you have a Walkman when you were a kid? fuck yeah! who didn't? we were all trying to get one that had "no skip" so while we were on the bus we could have at least one song before we got to school!

What’s the most difficult experience you and a significant other have gone through together? umm...cheating. and it's ex. thank god...

What are your siblings’ names and ages? I've said this before..I have a stepsis by marriage who's Kayla and she's my age she's just two months before me lol...not gonna get into my sperm donor "half" brother....

What’s your favorite recipe you’ve come up with? I never have Have you ever worn false eyelashes? never

Do you pay much attention to local news? no I make it a point not to for the most part but I catch it every now and then

Have you ever attempted to pick a lock? Did you succeed? no but my fiance and I watch channels on Youtube that tell you how to lol

When did you last dust the baseboards in your home? next...

Do you prefer Japanese or Korean cuisine? Japanese.

What’s something you have zero tolerance for? animal abuse, domestic violence, child abuse, rape...

Do you know anyone who could be described as a religious fundamentalist? No

What was the last act of self-care you did for yourself? getting coffee for myself while he was at work

What grammar mistake do you find the most irritating? all of them

What will you be buying the next time you go grocery shopping? snacks aka junk food as always

Do you drink soda often? for the most part yeah

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thumb3l1n4 · 3 years

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Thoughts on chapter #293 (AKA a very long post)

I made a post when chapter #292 came out and one person replied with "I love how everyone thinks that villain stans automatically agree with and condone the villains' actions". I don't think myself to be a villain stan, although I do love Horikoshi's villains, since they're all amazingly interesting characters. There are villains that I feel very compassionate to: Shigaraki, Dabi, Twice, Spinner and Toga. And I could instantly relate to Stain's philosophy, while being totally turned off by his actions. I don't think villain stans condone the violent actions of their favorite characters, I'm sorry if my previous post made people believe I do. But from the most recent releases I gathered that there is maybe a small fraction of villain stans that aren't really seeing the intricacies of the full picture. I don't mean this in a bad way: this is definitely the villains' time to shine and I know we were all waiting for the big Dabi-Endeavor showdown since theories were thrown around, so it's normal to be hyper-focused in what our favorite character is doing or what's happening with them. It's easy to forget that there are times and places where it's safe to show our compassion. I'm not gonna lie, I'm kinda annoyed that some villain stans seem to want the heroes to show compassion to Dabi right now, while they're in the middle of a battle that would decide the sorts of their society. Thanks to Dabi's speech, the civilian's faith in their "picture-perfect" system is crumbling (well, I hope so, because their society sucks on so many levels) and Best Jeanist, who was bashed for absolutely no reason all over Twitter last week, before the official translation was out, knew that that was Dabi's intention all along. Tōya could have told his own story right after Stain's video came out, if he so wanted. He chose to join the League, instead, because as we know now, he might have thought that he would have a better chance to kill Shōto, that way. I can't blame Tōya AT ALL for wanting and needing to see Endeavor, finally, rightfully, punished. However, Dabi throwing the compassion card around in the middle of a life-and-death situation (a situation where his main end-goal is to hurt people), is just peak manipulation...

... Which is awesome for a villain!

It's less awesome if you're standing on the Heroes' side and you're hearing about all the years of abuse that a colleague of yours put his family through, for the first time. I want to note that not a single Hero, till now, has said that they do not believe Dabi (not that I recall, at least). I saw one comment on Tumblr saying they didn't like that Best Jeanist used the word "dirty laundry", the chapter before, but I don't think the Hero said it in disrespect. I think it had more to do with Dabi's intentions behind revealing his truth, than Best Jeanist not believing him, or worse, dismissing him as a victim. Dabi's truth was called "dirty laundry" because Tōya didn't use it to seek justice, for himself and his family, but rather to get revenge on everyone, to create chaos and to excuse his own criminal actions. It's a truth tainted by hatred, not in the sense that fans of the manga and the Heroes should just forget about it: his past and pain are very, very real and Dabi and the rest of the villains need help. But the Heroes cannot take the time to feel sorry for their enemies, right at this moment, because if they do, that's the end. That's kinda what happened between Toga and Uraraka: she needs to stop Toga because while hurting people might come natural to the villain, that's not a healthy way to live. Toga didn't ask to be the way she is, and as a Hero, it should be Uraraka's job to give her the chance to get the treatment she didn't get as a child, that would teach Toga how to deal with her natural urges in a way that is not harmful to anyone. Mind you, Toga didn't seem to like the idea of conforming herself to anyone else's expectations, so she might not want the therapy. Uraraka would still need to give her all to stop the villain, no matter how sorry she actually feels inside for her.

If the villains win, the Heroes will not be able to rectify their society. Only after this fight ends and villains are taken into custody, it would be safe for the Heroes to show their honest reactions to Dabi's revelation. Only then we can hope to see them caring for the villains' health and their truths and possibly demand that Endeavor turns himself in (I actually want him to do so on his own, without external input). The Heroes aren't being heartless, if that's what some villain stans are thinking. They simply do no have the luxury to let Dabi's words manipulate them into feeling bad for him during a fight, because innocent people's lives are at stake here and just because Tōya had a horrible childhood, it doesn't mean that he's gonna care and let those innocent people be. Dabi wants to see the WHOLE world burn.

Onto Deku, now, the second character in two weeks accused by some, of being an abuse apologist.

He's the first character EVER to confront Endeavor on his treatment of Shōto, after seeing how his own classmate was spiralling and hurting himself, because Shōto didn't want to use HIS OWN Quirk to prevent himself from quite literally freeze to death, all because of Endeavor's abuse.

Deku has always wanted to follow All Might's steps and like All Might, he wishes to be able to save everyone in need. Toshinori, however, already told him that that's not realistic and Deku accepted the fact that he can only save the people in need that he's able to reach and as we saw with Shōto, Kota and Eri, he's ready to lay out his own life and break every single bone in his body to do so. He's so determined to save people, even against the worst of odds, that he can twist fate. I think it's exactly this determination of his that made him speak out this time, not only for Shōto, but for Endeavor, too. Do I like that Deku cares? Yes, I'm glad that people like Deku exist, people that genuinely care and wish and pray for criminals to regret what they've done so they can have a chance to right their wrongs and become a better person. Do I think Deku would stop Endeavor from turning himself in or defend Endeavor in front of the other Heroes so they don't take him away and bring him to justice? I might be wrong, Horikoshi can still make a fool out of me, but I don't think so. Deku knows the years of abuse are there and they will never go away. Deku is also the guy who told off Natsuo for trying to make Shōto feel resentful towards their father, when Shōto was somewhat past that and only wanted to heal. Deku recognized that the siblings have all different ways to deal with trauma and told Natsuo that his feelings are valid, but he can't push them onto Shōto, because Shōto's feelings on the matter are just as valid, even if they don't align with those of his big brother.

Just like villain stans can feel compassion towards Dabi because of his past, while being repulsed by his criminal actions in the present, Deku can feel repulsed by Endeavor's abuse of his own family and still see that a part of him (no matter how little it is) wishes to be a better human being. Deku didn't say that Endeavor should be automatically forgiven for his past actions, no one can deny that the abuse still has serious repercussions for every Todoroki involved (yes. EVERY). But the thing with Deku is that once he's seen this tiny, barely-even-there, light in you, he will fight to save you. I don't think that the people calling Deku an abuse apologist are giving his intuition or insight enough credit.

Dabi's not Endeavor: this means that Deku hasn't seen anything in this fight that might hint to Tōya wanting to be saved. Again, the same thing happened between Toga and Uraraka. And sadly, even Twice and Hawks (Hawks miscalculated sooo bad there). It's unfortunate that phrases like "you can only save someone if they want to be saved" and "you cannot help someone who refuses to be helped" still apply to this world, but that's the ugly truth and I'm sure that to someone like Deku that's a very hard and bitter pill to swallow. Endeavor said he wants to right his wrongs: in my opinion, he's still got a lot of work to do, since he should have really started it all off by being honest to everyone about his actions and let justice do its course. During this battle I'm forced to recognize (like Deku does) that Endeavor might actually be able to reedem himself, after actually atoning for his crimes. I cannot say the same for Dabi, because he doesn't want to atone for the bad things he has done. I didn't see Deku's speech as him excusing Endeavor's abuse to his victim or conceding the point to Tōya, that Heroes don't care about villains. I saw it as Deku telling Dabi to stop using his own abuse as an excuse to hurt other victims (Shōto, Natsuo, Fuyumi and Rei) because as harsh as it sounds, Tōya can't demand compassion for his own pain while being uncapable of showing compassion to his own little brother. Maybe Tōya doesn't actually know everything that Shōto has suffered through, maybe he thinks that his little brother got lucky with his Quirk and didn't have it as bad as he did. That's not his place to say. Dabi is making a contest out of their family's pain, trying to declare which Todoroki got it worse (clearly believing that it's him and that that allows him to do whatever he wants to, now), so I reiterate: he can't ask for compassion in the middle of the battle and the Heroes are actually doing the right thing, not letting themselves being manipulated like that and basically forfeiting the fight.

AFTER this arc ends, I truly hope to see the Heroes showing their compassion for the villains. I hope they would get rid of that obnoxious Hero Ranking and that the society would stop festering the idea that only certain Quirks and their users are strong and valuable and deserving of a voice. I hope they could change their world so that people like Tenko, Tōya, Jin, Himiko and Shuichi are able to ask for help AND BE HELPED before it is too late.

#bnha 293 #bnha dabi #toya todoroki #endeavor #bnha deku #midoriya izuku #bnha mha #this is so long #sorry lmao #you might get bored before you finish reading #sorry for any mistakes #english is not my first language

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studylizziee · 5 years

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Starting University

Having started uni last year, I can really relate to the anxieties/fears that people have towards the start of September. So I decided to make this post which is a compilation of tips and advice I’ve accumulated over my first year of university. I hope it’s helpful :)

What to bring

it’s a difficult thing to strike the right balance between bringing too much and too little, but my advice is to err on the side of too little, as you can always buy things you’ve missed once you arrive (the only exception imo being decorations for your room from home)

a doorstop is a must! when you’re moving in my literal number 1 tip is to have your door propped open virtually at all times - it makes such a difference because then people will just stop to have a chat, or wave and say hi as they go past, and it just sends a friendly vibe

things that will personalise your room and make it feel like your space. This was one of the biggest things that combated my homesickness, because I created a sort of safe space for myself. So for me this was cosy lighting with lots of lamps (I brought 2 in addition to the one my uni provided) and fairy lights, posters on the walls, books on the shelf, pictures of my friends, cushions and blankets, and lots of cute mugs

in that vein, get some command strip hooks that you can stick onto the wall - I used small ones to put my fairy lights up and larger ones to hang my jackets on

for posters and pictures for the wall, I used blu tack

keep the storage boxes that you use to move all your stuff in with (I put shoes in one, misc stuff in another), and drawer dividers are a really handy buy too (I used them to separate my underwear)

don’t forget important documents/ID like your passport and driving license. There’s usually quite a lot of admin when you first arrive so it’s important to have these kept safely with you

if you drink, bring some alcohol and a mixer you like for pres

a bumbag for nights out is pretty essential - it’ll keep your phone, ID, keys and money safe, as they’re difficult to steal from and far more secure than your pockets!

make sure you have a medicines bag stocked with paracetamol, plasters, antiseptic cream etc, because the last thing you want when you feel sick for the first time at uni is to have to go out and buy medicines

I brought earplugs because I like quiet when I’m trying to fall asleep, and halls of residence are not exactly known for that.. also, walls are thin

there are nowhere near enough coat hangers provided, so bring some from home

I also 100% recommend taking a bike to uni! I cycle everywhere around campus because it’s faster and good exercise, and I also sometimes cycle into town rather than getting the bus (& if you bring a bike, bring a helmet, front and back bike lights, and a D-lock! They’re worth investing in I promise)

lastly, I recommend that the first thing you do when moving in is to do a big food shop! I arrived on a Friday night and planned for my parents to take me food shopping on the Saturday, but I forgot I needed something to eat for dinner on Friday and ended up having a freebie pot noodle that was in my room...

What not to bring

shared items like a kettle, toaster, toastie maker, blender etc (until you’ve communicated with your flatmates)

before I came to uni, in august I think, a few of my flatmates and I made a group chat on facebook (unis normally make a fb page with your halls of residence and you can find your flatmates from there), and sorted out who’d bring shared items. It was really helpful because the last thing you want is 5 kettles taking up loads of space in the kitchen!

if you’re not able to/don’t want to message your flatmates before arriving at uni, I still wouldn’t bring these items as you can buy them once you’re there if no one else has them (which is pretty unlikely)

a bin and desk chair - they’re provided

too many clothes/shoes: I know it feels like you’re going away for a really long time but try to think realistically about how many things you’ll actually wear. Instead focus on making sure you have lots of layers, and clothes for all weather possibilities

an iron - I literally never ironed once while at uni - and yes, that’s as a person whose course requires me to go on placements and look formal fairly regularly

unless you’re an avid baker I wouldn’t bring baking equipment like scales/mixing bowl etc. I only had a measuring jug and a roasting tin, which was enough to make cookies ;)

Freshers

Ah, freshers. The most over-hyped week(s) in existence. As an introvert, it was an exhausting period of time for me. Although I had fun meeting people and at the events I went to, it left me drained, and I also felt pretty anxious a lot of the time, especially during the first week. To be honest, I didn’t enjoy the whole freshers experience because it was, frankly, pretty overwhelming. Just remember that freshers is not at all representative of the rest of your uni experience, and it’s okay if you don’t love it.

Meeting people/making friends

I was equally excited and nervous when I moved in, and I was particularly worried, as most people are, about making friends. The first thing to say is that everyone’s in the same boat. Everyone is anxious to be sociable and make friends, especially during freshers, so make the most of this time to start conversations and get chatting with people. Although don’t feel you need to make long-lasting friendships during freshers - often people find that their uni friends aren’t the people that they hung out with in freshers.

Don’t feel pressured to go to loads of parties/nights out if it’s not your scene; there are other ways of meeting people, the biggest one being societies. My biggest regret from first year is that I didn’t try enough societies - I did choir and went to one netball training session (rip) because I thought I didn’t have time for anything else. I wish I’d taken up more opportunities and tried more things, because it’s such a great way of meeting like-minded people (and people from other courses)!

When to leave your parents

This is a difficult one, and I know this was one of the things causing me the most anxiety. I’d read somewhere that you should just say bye to your parents when they drop you off and get on with it, because you have to grow up now. The truth is, everyone is different and needs a different amount of time in order to say goodbye. For me, my parents helped me move in on the Friday, and stayed the night at a hotel while I went on my first night of freshers, a pub crawl. The next day they helped me with my food shop/buying other things I needed before they left in the afternoon. I know both people who spent the whole first weekend with their parents, not coming to any freshers events, and people who said goodbye the minute they walked into their flat. Neither choice is right or wrong - just think about what’s best for you. I knew I needed a bit more time but simultaneously wanted to be part of the big first night, and I found a happy compromise for me.

Dealing with homesickness

I was really homesick for, I’d say, the first 2 weeks. One of my big mistakes was that my dad came up a week after I’d moved in to bring my bike (don’t regret that bit, my bike is great), and it was actually more difficult saying bye that time around. It was wayy too soon. My advice is:

give it a bit of time before you see your family

facetime/call home regularly to start off with, and over time it will naturally become less often. For the first week, I facetimed my parents every night, and after that it was every 2-3 days, and by the end it was every one or two weeks

get busy! the absolute worst thing you can do is isolate yourself in your room doing nothing, because it gives you too much time to overthink. Especially for the first few weeks, keep yourself busy and take advantage of all the events on offer

Things to make sure you do during the first week or so:

Even though freshers is super busy, it’s important to make time to do some bits of admin

Find out where the student support service is/the telephone number you can reach them on

Get a phone number for maintenance of halls because you never know when something might go wrong (on literally my first night the shower didn’t work)

Find the library, cheapest food shop, launderette, and explore campus

The academic jump

The jump from school to university can be quite a considerable one. It’s not only harder content, but also a different way of learning from what you’re used to in school, with much more reliance on independent study. Don’t worry too much about the first term, because that tends to be a sort of re-cap where they bring everyone onto the same page. Use that time when the content is not as difficult to 1) have fun and do lots of non-academic things, and 2) attempt to develop your style of learning. People underestimate sometimes the fact that you have to learn how to learn. So try different things and see what works for you, so that by the time you start the ‘real work’ you’ll be a bit more prepared. Tips:

have a system - by second term I decided that my system was to make a summary, somewhat condensed document of notes for each week, which I filed in folders for each module. This works for my course, but what the system is doesn’t matter - the most important thing is to have a tangible goal of independent work (usually notes) that you want to achieve

keep on top of things - I was sooo bad at this in first year, and have resolved to change things next year... I would do my set work for the week, but I didn’t do my weekly summary notes until the end of term and it was a mad rush. It would have saved me so much pain to do it as I went along

pay attention to feedback and learn from your mistakes

lecturers are an amazing resource and they love their subject, so if you have a question ask them! (either in person after a lecture/seminar or if that’s too much send an email)

make friends with your coursemates - you’re all in it together and it’s amazing how much you can learn from each other

BACK YOUR WORK UP! it doesn’t matter if it’s an external hard drive, dropbox or google drive as long as it’s somewhere!

Cooking/Food

bring recipes or a cookbook - these are pretty essential for when you’ve run out of ideas (or if you haven’t done much cooking before!). My friend got me ‘The Hungry Student Vegetarian Cookbook’ which was great, as is ‘The Green Roasting Tin’. I especially loved the concept of the latter because it’s so simple - put everything in a roasting tin and bang it in the oven

cook in bulk! this is my number 1 tip. Put whatever you don’t eat in tupperware containers and freeze it - then, as my flatmate said, you have prepared your very own ready meals

most people have heard of the ‘fresher five’ (5kg put on in first year), but this can so be avoided by making sure you have your 5 a day, not having takeaways too often, and not overdoing it with alcohol

as I said, don’t get takeaways too often - it’s tempting, I know, but they’re mega expensive so you’re better off saving it either for when they’ve got a really good deal on, or as a special treat

consider eating less meat - any meat of a good quality is far more expensive than vegetables are! I’m vegetarian and slowly becoming more plant-based as I cut out dairy, and among its other benefits it’s so much cheaper

making meal plans can be really useful - you don’t have to have an elaborate chart, but when you do your weekly food shop, plan what you’re going to eat during the week. This also helps reduce your food waste

freeze your bread! I got this tip from @muststudy, who has a great post on cooking tips linked below, but this is such a good idea to stop your loaf going mouldy before you can eat it

cook with your flatmates/friends - around dinnertime was by far the most social time in my flat, as we all congregated in the kitchen to cook and have a chat. If you have similar tastes to a flatmate, consider shared cooking! My friend and I virtually took it in turns to cook for each other, or we’d cook a shared meal together, and it made what can become a chore a fun thing to do

General

There can be a pressure for uni to be ‘the best years of your life’, and to be having a great time 24/7. It might be like that for you, but don’t worry if it’s not - it’s perfectly normal to feel sad or lonely at times. I definitely did. If you feel that way, reach out to people and don’t keep things bottled up. Try to make the most of opportunities, and enjoy this exciting and novel period of time in your life :)

Useful posts / websites:

Budgeting: how to manage your money at university by The Complete University Guide

Cooking: essential cooking tips for uni students by @muststudy

tips for starting university by @quilavastudy

tips for freshers week by @dxmedstudent

What to bring to university checklists: one, two, three

#mine #starting university #freshers #freshers tips #freshers week #uni #starting uni #my tips #studyblr #studyspo #study blog #studivation

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lovemesomesurveys · 4 years

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What is a recurring thought on your mind today? lol it’s 5 in the morning and I’m thinking about getting more egg rolls for lunch. I had been craving them for awhile and finally had some last night and now I want more. Have you had any confrontations with anyone lately? No. What is the last charity you donated to? A cancer research charity. Do you feel all fuzzy and good when you do a good deed? It does feel good to do good. Don’t ya just hate foot cramps? I wouldn’t know, but I get stomach cramps and they’re not fun at all, so I imagine a foot cramp isn’t either.

Would you say you have an infectious laugh? I don’t think so. Shouldn’t you be doing something else right now? Sleeping, but c’mon when do I ever go to bed before 7 or 8AM anymore? Do you have anything planned for the summer? Couldn’t do anything this summer. I’m so glad we’re in August though and summer is almost overrrrrr. What is something you worry about often? Health related things. Constantly. Are there any mountains nearby where you live? No. Did you like to collect frogspawn as a kid? No. Do you walk fast or slow? I’m a fast wheeler I’m told. Do you keep birthday cards or throw them out? I keep them. I don’t get very many anymore, though. Would you consider yourself healthy? Both mind and body. Nope, not in any way. Do you play any team sports? Nope. If so, which position do you play? - Does sitting in waiting rooms drive you insane? Yes. I’m very impatient and the waiting just makes me more anxious. What form of public transport do you use most often? I don’t take any public transportation anymore, but I used to take the bus sometimes in college. Would you consider yourself an adrenaline junkie? Ha, no. Do you ever go onto ‘failblog’? I’m not familiar with that. Have you ever been arrested? If so, why? No. Do you ever put sticky notes around the place to remind yourself of things? No. I use the reminder app on my phone and/or write it down on my marker board. Would you eat a spider for $50? Absolutely NOT. Nopeeeeeee. Would you rather be a kangaroo or a koala? Koala, I guess. What is a common slang word from where you live? ”Hella” used to be a very Californian thing, but everyone says it now so I don’t know. Do you keep your fingers on the home keys when you type? I don’t type the proper way. I’ve been on the computer and typing since I was a kid, I even took a typing class, but I still don’t type the proper way haha. How I type works for me, though, sooo. *shrug* Are you easy to talk to? People have told me that. Can you juggle with more than two items? I can’t juggle. I couldn’t even tell you the last time I tried to juggle. Has anyone ever assumed you can’t speak English? No, but people have assumed that I speak Spanish. Do you live in a rural or an urban area? Urban. At airports do you ever worry your luggage won’t arrive? It crossed my mind. Do your parents ever call you ‘pet’ or ‘sweetheart’ etc? Not those two specifically, but other terms of endearment. We have our own that we’ve made up for each other as well. If so, does it annoy you? No, not at all. Do you like jalapenos? I loved ‘em, but I can’t eat spicy food anymore. :( What other windows have you currently got opened? Just this one. What woke you up this morning? I haven’t gone to bed, yet, but when I get up it’ll be well past morning. I don’t even go to bed until the morning. :/ Who else is in the same building as you? My parents, brother, and doggo are home as well. Would you like a penny farthing bicycle? A what? Your name? Stephanie. Would you ever consider visiting Ireland? Sure. Would you like to visit Venice? Yes. Did you ever eat leaves when you were a kid? Uh, no. I wasn’t the kid who played in leaf piles or played with/ate dirt or anything. What is the largest body of water near your hometown? California is near the Pacific. Do you have any flags in your house? Yes. Are there any ‘keep off the grass’ signs where you live? Not in my neighborhood that I know of, but yeah some public places in town do. Have you ever walked on the grass with such a sign? No. Are you double-jointed? My thumbs are. At school which area of science did you prefer: biology/chemistry/physics? I managed to get by in science, but it wasn’t my favorite. Which did you prefer between geography/history? History. Have you ever had a main part in a play? No. Are there any musical instruments in the room you’re in? No. Can you name a difference between RNA and DNA? Uhhh. I’m blanking. Do you know anyone who owns a farm? No. Have you ever driven a tractor? No. Does the smell of the countryside bother you? It’s quite pungent, ha. I guess if you live out there you get used to it, but anytime I drive through the country I just gag. Do you drink more water or juice? Water. I don’t drink juice at all.

Sweater weather or tank top weather? Which do you prefer. Sweater weather, most definitely. Have you ever kissed a Zachary? No. Do you hate when people try to embarrass you? Uh, well yeah. Do you like in October when a bunch of haunted places open up? I don’t go to any, but yeah. I just love spooky season in general. Did you tell someone you loved them today? Not so far. Do you watch the show Ghost Adventures? No. My dad watches it, though, so I’ve seen parts of it here and there. What color are your curtains in your bedroom? Dark blue. Are you superstitious? I do the knock on wood thing, but I think that’s really just out of habit. Is there a cat in the room you’re in right now? No, I don’t have a cat. What’s your favorite thing to do on the weekend? I don’t do anything different from weekdays. All my days are the same. Do you have your license? No. Do you still watch cartoons? I still watch Rugrats, Doug, and Hey Arnold. And animated movies. Do you like to cook? Only ramen. Do you drink? Nope. Do you smoke? Nope. Where do you buy your clothes? Hot Topic, Boxlunch, Adidas website, and Kohl’s. Do you enjoy going to the movies? Yes. I miss being able to go. Are you still in school? Nopeeee, I’m done. Do you like cupcakes? Yes.

What makes you sad? A lot of things. I’m also just a sad, sleepy, sensitive soul as I like to say. Are you an animal lover? Yes. Are you hot-headed? I’m not quick to anger, but I do get irritated and frustrated quite easily. Do you have any siblings? I have 2 brothers. Are you afraid of snakes? YES. Do you have any pets? Yes, I have a doggo. <3 What color are your eyes? Brown. How bout your hair? I dye it red, but it’s naturally dark brown. How tall are you? Like 5′4. Who do you live with? My parents, brother, and doggo. Is there anything you want to ask anyone right now? No. Do you have kids? No. Do you love your family? Yes. They’re my world. What color hair do you prefer on the gender of your choice? I don’t really care. How bout eye color? Blue and green eyes are gorgeous. Do you have a job? If so, what? No. What is your dream job? I don’t have one. :/ What did you “wanna be” when you were a little kid? A teacher. What’s your favorite kind of movie? Psychological thrillers, horror, drama, romcoms, comedy, some action/adventure, /sci-fi... I like a variety. Are you gay, straight, bi, lesbian, asexual, or not sure? Straight. What kind of music is your favorite? I like variety. Do you play any instruments or sing? What kind? No. Have you ever been to a concert? If so, what was your favorite one? Yeah, several. I enjoyed them all, concerts are just awesome. It’s a cool experience. Are you more negative or more positive? Negative. Well, for myself. I can be positive for others. Have you ever been depressed? I have chronic depression. How are you feeling, dear? Tired and crappy. Mhm and how’s the weather where you’re at? It’s 6AM and it’s already 64F. Okay and have you been healthy lately? No. Are you in middle school, high school, college, graduate? I’m done with school. What is/was your favorite class? English was always my favorite and then in college I was able to take psych courses, which is also what I majored in, so I liked those. Have you made any life altering decisions lately? No. Where is your favourite place to get pizza? This local place.

Do you have any physical traits that are bothering you lately? My hair.

What is the closest store to you? A grocery store. Do you have any songs currently stuck in your head? Not at the moment. Have you made a CV? No. I had to Google what a CV was. Where is the last place you applied for a job? (If you have) I haven’t. Are you photogenic? Nope. Are there any concert venues where you live? Yes. Are you annoyed at anyone these days? I’m always annoyed with myself. Which continent would you most like to travel to and why? Europe. There’s a ton of places I’d like to visit. Have you ever/would you ever do volunteer work? I’ve done a lot of volunteer work. Do you know anyone that has died in a road accident? No. Do you know which career path you want to follow? No. Are there a lot of tourists where you live? No. There’s not shit to do or see of interest here. My state is a touristy state, though. Any plans for your next birthday? This year I obviously just stayed home, but my family made it nice. My brother got me coffee, breakfast, and a coffee cake from my favorite place, my mom, brother, and I watched this new creepy movie, You Should Have Left, then we just hung out until dinnertime, which was my fave, Wingstop, and then I opened presents.

Do you have to use public transport often? Not at all anymore, but when I was in college I had to take the bus sometimes. Does your house have an alarm? Yes. Have you ever asked someone out on a date? No. Whose grave did you last visit? My dog, Brandie, is buried in our backyard. My dad made a really nice gravesite for her. What’s something someone can do that makes you melt? A guy that can play the piano. What are you listening to right now? An ASMR video If you won a lot of money on the lottery, what would you buy first? The first thing after paying off debts would be a new house for my family and I. What’s your greatest fear? Death, disease, bugs, clusters. <<<< SAME. Gaaaaah the last one just made my skin crawl from seeing the word. Those are just a few of many fears for me. Has anyone upset you in the last week? Yes. What’s the best thing about you? I like my cheesy, corny sense of humor. What’s your favorite drink? Coffee. What are you going to do tomorrow? Same stuff I do everyday. What are you craving? I want more egg rolls like I had last night. How did you sleep last night? I don’t ever feel like I slept well. I never wake up feeling well rested. Does that really happen for people cause I can’t relate.

What was the first thing you thought this morning? I haven’t gone to bed, yet.

If your favorite food gave you pain, made you have acne, etc., would you still eat it? I’d just have to eat it less often and less of it. Unless it made me really sick or something or was very intense and unpleasant. Like I can’t have spicy food at all anymore except for the weak hot sauce that has like less than 2% of anything, but even that I can only have a little bit of. I can’t drench my food in it, just light dips. It sucks cause I used to be obsessed with spicy food, and I used to eat really spicy stuff.

Have you ever been judged on something you wore? Yeah.

Are you a timid person? Yes.

Think QUICK what word begins with c? Coffee!

Are you a funny person? I think I have my funny moments and now and then and trust me, when they happen I make sure to own ‘em cause they’re rare haha. Be honest, do you go for looks more or personality? Personality is the most important, looks only go so far. Personality goes on a much deeper level and who a person is matters a lot more to me than their looks. That being said, I can’t say looks don’t matter at all. I also want to add that a good personality can add to someone’s attractiveness.

Ever been so upset but didn’t understand why? Yeah. I get these moody moods that are sometimes triggered, but there’s a lot of times where they seem to just come on out of nowhere. I suppose it’s the depression, but like I can be having a decent day and then suddenly I’ll feel my mood changing and nothing in that moment changed that would seem to cause the sudden change. I just feel it coming on and once it does, I can’t stop it. My emotions very much control me.

Are you a flirty person? No. I can be if I’m interested in someone and I’m comfortable around them enough to be flirty. Though, it’s probably subtle.

Are you homophobic? No.

Ever had a rumor spread about you? No.

Has anyone ever pulled your pants down in public? Nooo.

Ever had the ‘birds and the bees’ talk with your parents? Yeah.

How would you react if someone said you ruined their life? Wow. I would feel extremely bad and shitty to say the least.

Are you a sympathetic person? Yes. I’m also very empathetic.

Ballet dance or hip hop dance? If I could, I would have tried hip hop. What’s currently bothering you right now? My stomach.

What is the most athletic you’ve done? When I had to participate in my adaptive PE classes. That’s literally the only time.

Do you remember the first conversation you ever had with the person you currently have feelings for? I don’t have those kinds of feelings for anyone at the moment.

Do you like to drink herbal tea? Yeah, now and then. I’m not a big tea drinker.

If you’re home alone, do you still close/lock the door when you use the bathroom? No.

What your favorite thing to have on toast? Butter.

Has anyone ever hung up on you? Yeah, but only like telemarketers and wrong numbers.

Have you ever been to a concert? Several. Hasn’t this come up a couple times? Maybe I’m getting the surveys confused, I’m tired.

Can you speak more than one language? If so, what other language(s)? Not fluently, just some Spanish.

Are you talking to anyone right now? No.

If so, how do you feel about them? -

Do you know anyone who skateboards? Not anymore.

Do you ever sing when you’re alone? Yeah.

What’s the stupidest song you’ve listened to today? I have’t listened to any stupid songs. I don’t listen to music I’d consider stupid. Are you listening to music, currently? No.

How do you feel about the song? - When someone teases you do you frown or give an amazing comeback? My family and I playfully tease each other and sometimes I’ll come up with something funny and clever to say, but there’s times where I’m just like -____- and say like, “har-har very funny” haha or something lame like that. Do you think you can sing? I know I can’t sing well at all, but I still like to anyway to myself.

Do you have any talent? No.

Do you think you’re better looking than some other people? No.

Do you like dancing? I like head bobbing and moving my shoulders/arms/hands, ha. And sometimes I attempt (very badly) to do some TikTok dances haha. Privately, though. I’d never recored myself and share it with the public, major yikes.

What’s your favorite zoo animal? Giraffes.

How is your hair currently styled? It’s up in a messy bun.

How long are your showers (on average)? Like 30-40 minutes.

East or West? West.

What did you do last night? Binged some Step by Step on Hulu until 1AM-ish, then I made my ramen and watched some YouTube videos while I ate, then I played some Animal Crossing for a bit, and then I scrolled through Tumblr for awhile, and then I did some surveys and listened to ASMR, which is what I’m still doing now.

Do you like your music loud? I like it at a comfortable volume. Some songs I have a little louder than others, just depends.

What are you allergic to? Tangerines. I also have seasonal allergies.

Do you ever stay up late just to be awake I have insomnia, but yeah I do stay up later than I should. Like, I could attempt sleep a little sooner than I do.

What do you want to name your children? I don’t want to have kids.

Would you ever write a letter to someone you haven’t met yet, like your future spouse? Nah.

Did the last movie you watched make you cry? No. It was a psychological thriller, it was trippy.

Are you a good swimmer? Nope, I can’t swim.

What are you always thinking about? Health stuff.

Is science your favorite subject? Well, psychology is a science. When you’re really worked up, what do you do to relax? Listen to ASMR.

Would you rather spend the day watching movies or on an intense hike? Uh, watching movies. Definitely. I can’t go hiking anyway, but I wouldn’t want to do anything intense or outdoors.

Did you ever try the cereal Special K? Yeah, there’s nothing special about it.

Think of the last person you kissed, was it memorable? Yeah.

You have the choice of being poor but happy, or rich but miserable. Which is it? Poor and happy.

Do you think girls with short hair are less good looking than those with long hair? Uh, no? There’s a lot of beautiful people with short hair and there’s a lot of beautiful people with long hair.

#personal #text #survey #surveys #long survey

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jacquelinejacob · 4 years

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Heyyy good day everyone so, uhm I’m Jacqueline Jacob and it’s my first time to create a blog post guys so please support me💓❤️. So, I’ll describe myself guys, I’m cute(but I’m the only one who’s saying that because whenever I tell this to my friends they say I’m the only one who knows about it and they always ask me where part of my face is cute because they cannot see it🙄) like duhh guys I’m so cute you know hahahaha wait until you see my face haha. So that, I am cute, I’m short( that’s why my friends are always teasing me and they keep on telling me that I’m a dwarf😤) seriously guys? I’m not that small duhh I love my height, I’m sooo skinny guys that’s my biggest problem in my body, I’m kind of gluttonous🤭 but I still don’t gain weight and it’s so frustrating because I can’t buy the clothes that I like because it doesn’t look good on me, my dear body what is your problem(insert angry tone here guys haha) I think my metabolism is too fast. And most of all guys I’m a wattpad reader and I write love stories and poem but I hide my works because I’m afraid people won’t like it and I’m so afraid just by thinking that they will judge my work. You know that guys? you put a lot of effort on your work but they can’t even appreciate it instead they judge it and say so many hurtful words to the author. It sucks how people appreciate you(insert sarcastic tone here). And guys who’s a wattpader out their? omg pm me if you’re a wattpader, let’s talk about the stories you’ve read already!! It would be fun guys hahaha. But beware guys I am crazy, a cute but crazy girl hahaha(lol just joking) sometimes I am childish, sometimes I am serious, no one can predict what would be my mood(I’m a bipolar guys shh🤭🤭) hahaha. My friends usually call me crazy because I just laugh out loud out of nowhere and I don’t even know what am I laughing at hahaha so guys am I really crazy? please tell me I’m not (insert begging eyes here). Oh and I almost forget guys I’m just 16 years old(but I look more younger because of my height hahaha) and I’m a senior high school student from St. Paul University of the Philippines or sometimes they call it SPUP. I was born on July 24,2004(the day where the cutest was born hahaha stop it self you’re not cute) and guys I’m a Daddy’s girl, I love my father than my mother because my mother is always scolding me while my father always pampered me but it has a limit hahaha kidding aside, I love them both💕💕. So guys please support me? pretty please(puppy eyes). I know you can’t resist my cuteness now hahaha, I love you all guys I hope you appreciate my effort in writing this❤️.

So guy’s this questions that I will be answering has been asked by my teacher Sir Carlos Babaran, Good Day sir😊😊:

So let’s start now guy’s

1. Where do I see myself 10 years from now? Is my learning in SPUP vital to where I’m leading to?

So as I am contemplating with myself, I’ve realized that I can see myself 10 years from now in a plane while assisting all the passengers. Because seriously guys, since I dream of touring to every part of the world and I dreamed of riding a plane that’s why I want to be a flight attendant. And yes, of course my learning in SPUP is vital to where I’m leading to because I can use that learning to be my guide to where I’m leading to, I’ll use that to live my dreams in the near future.

okay so this is the second question guys

2. Was ABM the best choice afterall?

YES, for me it’s a yes because ABM contains the learning that I would need when I will go to college. Also in ABM I will learn how to run a business and I can use that learning if ever there is a change in my plans in the future.

number 3 guys

3. What course will you take in college and why?

The course that I will take in college is tourism. Why? It’s simple guys, I love to tour and as I say on my answer in the number one question, I love to tour and it’s my dream since I was still a child.

And here goes number 4 guys, actually this is just a five questions so don’t worry guys get a little more patience to read my blog hahaha so here it is;

4. What topic would you like to learn more in this subject?

So since this subject is empowerment technology, and technology means different types of technologies that we use in everyday life, I want to learn more on how to use computers, the every part of it, and how to use it. Because honestly guys, I’m not good in using computers. There’s a lot more I want to learn like how to create an app, how to access in different sites, and omg guys I really want to learn how to hack an account. I won’t use it for illegal guys even if I know that hacking is already illegal in online world haha, I just want to learn it because I envy those people I watched in every movies, it’s like it’s so cool.

so we’re in the last questions guys and I can almost hear you saying, “Finally!” hahaha

5. What the corona virus has taught you about life?

What corona has taught me about life is it is important to take care of your health. It’s important to be cautious every day because it’s not just ourselves that we are talking about, corona virus can also involve our whole family without us noticing it. We all should learn how to clean our surroundings, not just our surroundings but also ourselves. Always wash and disinfect your whole body.

SO THIS IS THE END OF MY BLOG GUYS I HOPE YOU’RE ABLE TO KNOW ME MORE. THANK YOU FOR THE PATIENCE AND EFFORT YOU HAVE BEEN EXERTED IN READING MY BLOG GUYS. KEEP SAFE EVERYONE I LOVE YOU ALL❤️LOVELOTS.

SO HELLO GUYS HERE I AM AGAIN. MY SECOND BLOG WOULD BE ABOUT TECHNOLOGY. THIS IS A TECHNOLOGY REVIEW GUYS, I HOPE YOU’LL LEARN SOMETHING FROM MY BLOG THANK YOU(SMILES). AND OH, THE SPECIFIC TOPIC HERE GUYS IS ABOUT MY FAVORITE TECHNOLOGY.

My favourite technology is communication technology particularly computer. So now I’ll make a TECH REVIEW guys about my favourite technology.

1. What makes computer vulnerable?

2. What is the importance of computer?

3. What does a computer allow you to do?

4. What makes up a computer?

5. What are the use of computer?

So here’s the answer for those questions guy’s please read all of it and I hope you’ll learn something.

1. What makes computer vulnerable is because programmers fail to fully understand the inner programs. While the programmers design and programs the computer, they didn’t really into account all aspects of computer systems and that makes the computer vulnerable.

2. Computer became important in our daily lives because it is more accurate and it works fast that can accomplish a task easily. But otherwise to complete those task, people should exert more time in doing that certain task. And it store huge amount of data in it.

3. A computer is an electronic device that manipulates the data and information. It has the capacity to store, retrieve, and process data. And we all know that the computer allows us to create documents, send emails, browse a web and even play games.

4. Computer is made up of two components and that is the hardware and the software. When we say hardware, it means it’s the part of computer itself including the CPU(Central Processing Unit) and related microchips and micro-circuity, keyboards, monitors, and etc.

5. Computers are used to perform several task in industries just like managing inventories, interior designing, designing purpose, and etc. Computer can also be used in online marketing, it has seen a great revolution in its ability to sell numerous products to inaccessible areas.

SO THAT’S ALL FOR TODAY GUYS THANK YOU FOR READING MY BLOG. I REALLY HOPE THAT YOU’VE LEARN SOMETHING FROM MY BLOG. LOVE YOU GUYS PLEASE SUPPORT ME BYE-BYE👋😊.

So here guys is my third blog, and this would be a movie review, I will pick three of my favourite movie and I’ll make my own summary for that movie. I hope you’ll read it guys and I’ll hope you will enjoy it. I love ya’all🧡🧡. And oh! before I forgot guys there would be 4 guide questions in every movie and here it is👇:

1. What life lessons can be learned from the movie?

2. What part of the story told by the movie was the most powerful? why?

3. Who was your favourite character in the movie? Why?

4. Did anything that happened in the movie remind you of something that has occurred in your own life or that you have seen occur to others?

So that is the guide questions guys and now I will start my movie review I hope you’ll read it guys

My first favourite movie is THE VOW

THE VOW

MOVIE SUMMARY:

When Paige (Rachel McAdams) and Leo (Channing Tatum) have met for the first time, they seemed to be attracted with each other. Then after how many weeks or months of dating and courting, they decided to get married. But one snowy night changed their happy married life, they met a car accident, their car was hit by a truck and their car hit the post in the street that lead Paige into a comatose and she had an amnesia. Paige can’t remember Leo as her husband, she can’t remember all of their 4 years together and all she could remember is her life where she still hasn’t met Leo. Paige’s parents doesn’t agree on their relationship that’s why they want Paige to live with them, but Leo tried to pursue Paige to live with him and Paige gave it a try. But when she really can’t remember anything while she’s living with Leo, she decided to go back to her family and her family take advantage of her situation to go back to them. But Leo still tried to woo Paige, he asked her on a date, bring her on their favourite cafe and on their favourite spot but it seems like Paige like to be with her ex-fiancee Jeremy so Leo gave up on Paige and they got divorced. But after all of those struggles in their life, Paige manages to go in the right path, she became an artist again but she didn’t have the chance to regain her memories.

TO ALL OF THE PEOPLE OUT THEIR WHO HAVEN’T WATCHED THIS MOVIE, WATCH IT GUYS IT’S VERY INTERESTING AND WORTH YOUR TIME 😀

SO HERE’S MY ANSWER FOR THE GUIDE QUESTIONS ABOVE:

1. The life lessons that can be learned from this movie is all married couple would end up happy. There is no such thing as fairy tales because not all of the couples end up together. There are a lot of circumstances that may happen on every couples relationship, just like what happen to Paige and Leo, Leo tried to fight for their relationship but it doesn’t work out because Paige can’t remember him. But at least, Paige tried to remember her past.

2. For me, the most powerful part in the movie is when Leo gave up on Paige. Because even though he really loved her, he still managed to let her go and continue his life without her.

3. My favourite character in the movie is Leo because he is so strong and very determined to help Paige remember him. I envy him for being understandable, loving, and caring husband, he always understands Paige even if it already hurts him.

4. It’s the part where Leo tried y pursue Paige but he gave up on the end. It reminds me of my experience when I want to go somewhere with my friends but my parents doesn’t want me to go, I tried to pursue them but I just gave up on the end because I know that no matter how hard I try to pursue them, I know they would not let me go.

This would my second favourite movie guys:

LOVE, ROSIE

MOVIE SUMMARY:

Alex Stewart (Sam Cliflin) and Rosie Dunne (Lily Collins) are best of friends since they were just a child. They can’t see theirselves being in love to each other. It was Rosie’s 18th birthday that day and they were partying to celebrate her birthday when she and Alex kissed and then she passed out. Then morning came and the two of them talked, Rosie told Alex to forget hat happened last night like it was just nothing. Alex and Rosie goes to a beach then suddenly Greg, the fittest guy in their batch offered her to take her out on their school dance but Rosie refused his offer because Alex is the one who will take her out. Meanwhile, a certain girl named Bethany came up and showed interest to Alex so Rosie told Alex to make Bethany her partner on their upcoming school dance and she will go with Greg.

The day for their school dance come, Greg and Rosie get a private room and something happen between them. Alex’s father told him to go Harvard to study medicine and then Alex convinced Rosie to take the hotel management course at Boston University. But there comes a problem, Rosie got pregnant even if she’s taking contraceptive pills. He didn’t tell it to Alex because she doesn’t want her to burden him so she just keep it to herself, otherwise she decided to give up the baby for adoption after she gave birth but during her pregnancy she already got attached to the baby. One day, as Rosie and her baby Katie is strolling, she accidentally bump to Bethany and the information about her having a baby reached to Alex so Alex decided to pay her a visit and ask Rosie if he could be Katie’s godfather.

In America, Alex met a posh girl and he lived in with her. But it seems like there is something wrong with her attitude so he called Rosie and convinced her to come see him. But things between them didn’t go well because Rosie told him that she can’t see them as good couples and then Alex began to say hurtful words to Rosie and that ends her trip in America and she just returned to her daughter. After that Rosie and Greg get back together while Alex is so devastated because he found out that her girlfriend is cheating on him and got pregnant by some other man. Alex wrote a letter to Rosie about what he feels towards her but Greg saw it and hided it from Rosie. But then Rosie also found out that Greg is cheating on her and soon she found the letter that Alex wrote but it’s already too late for them because Alex and Bethany will soon to get married. On Rosie’s speech on Alex’s wedding day, she told him that she loves him but covers it by saying that it’s just a friendly love. After all of that Rosie starts her own hotel, and then Alex suddenly showed up, they kissed and that is the beginning of their love story that should gave started long back.

AND HERE’S THE MY ANSWER AGAIN FOR THE GUIDE QUESTIONS:

1. The life lesson that can be learned from the movie Love, Rosie is sometimes we don’t see the best thing that ever happened to us, the best person who’s there for us. We keep finding them but what we don’t know is they are just beside us all the time. Rosie and Alex have been best of friends since they were just a child so they take each other for granted and they didn’t know that what they felt for each other is not just a friendly love, Its already true love.

2. The most powerful part for me in the story that has been told is the part where Rosie got pregnant. She’s so strong to handle the situation and she even give up her dreams in Boston and she chooses the baby. Because not all single parents can do that, there are a lot of people who chooses to abort or give for adoption their babies just so they can chase their dreams.

3. My favourite character in the movie is Rosie. Because even if life has been tough on her, she still managed to continue her life, she takes all the risk and she’s ready to face the consequences of her actions.

4. None. There’s no part of the happened that reminds me of something that has occurred in my life or to anybody else.

OKAY SO HERE’S MY LAST BLOG AND MY LAST FAVOURITE MOVIE GUYS I HOPE YOU’LL WATCH IT IF YOU HAVEN’T WATCHED IT ALREADY 👇:

MY ANNOYING BROTHER

MOVIE SUMMARY:

This is a South Korean Movie starring Du Yeong Go (D.0 Kyungsoo) and Doo-sik Go (Jo Jung-Suk). Du Yeong Go is a judo athlete who unfortunately damage his optic nerve and lost his sight after his game on the International Event. While his hyung(older brother), Doo-sik Go is a prisoner who applied for release on parole and make his younger brothers situation as an excuse. At first he doesn’t really care about Du Yeong and Du Yeong seems to hate his brother too because Doo-sik always make trouble that really annoys his younger brother. But as time passed by they seemed to be close with each other again. They bond together like they used to do when they were just a child. But one day, Doo-sik discovered that he has a pancreatic cancer so he decided to commit suicide by driving his car so fast, he’s nearly hit by a truck but fortunately he survived. After that he decided to help Du Yeong to train his self together with Du Yeong’s coach to be a national athlete. Then the day for Rio Paralympic Games in Brazil came, while Du Yeong is sitting on the corner, fidgeting because of too much nervousness, his coach told him about his brother’s situation. Du Yeong wants to go back in South Korea for his brother but decided to just make his brothers situation to win. After the Paralympic Games, Du Yeong won the gold medal that he really wants to win since he started being an athlete in Judo.

HERE’S MY ANSWER GUYS:

1. The life lesson that can be learned from the movie My annoying brother is even if you are not in good terms with your brother or any member of your family, always remember that they always there for you. From this movie you will learn how to appreciate your family, and not just that, you will also learn that physical disability won’t stop you to obtain your dreams.

2. For me, the most powerful part that has been told in the story is when Doo-sik motivates his younger brother Du Yeong. Having a brother who can motivate you is so heart touching. They will make you boost your confidence despite your situation.

3. My favourite character in the movie is Doo-sik. Because even though he doesn’t care for his younger brother at first, he still learned to love him and he still took care of him. He’s willing to do anything for his younger brother just to make him happy.

4. Yes, there is. My eldest brother always annoys me, he make fun of me all the time and I hate him for that but if he’s having a fever, I always take care of him and we develop a relationship as brothers and sister, he doesn’t annoy me all the time now.

SO GUYS THIS WOULD BE THE END OF MY BLOG. I’LL SURELY MISS WRITING BLOGS AND I’LL MISS ALL OF YOU WHO READ MY BLOG. I LOVE YOU ALL GUYS💖💖TAKE CARE ALWAYS🤗 BYEEEE GUYS JE T’AIME EVERYONEEEE!!!😘😘

👉👉👉👉👉👉👉👉End👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈

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modern-oedipus · 4 years

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Conflict post that got too long and title doesn’t match the rest because I didn’t plan to write so much

Please be honest: Do you think Conflict is an angsty fanfiction?

Despite the amount of sadness, suicidal tendencies, ptsd, panic attacks and even implied incest; I can’t bring to think that Conflict is angst. It’s just the story of two flawed boys falling in love in their most vulnerable moments and learning how to know themselves as they get to know each other.

It might be because I know the whole story, though, unlike the readers who know the first arc only. I mean... it’s perfectly fine however you interprwt their story. It’s not like I’m mad. I’m just surprised when I see things like “this is so sad!” I mean, yes, Ray is not going through best time of his life, but I think it is honorable. It’s honorable that he is trying his best, despite the depression blowing his mind. It’s honorable that Norman is trying to be a little honest with himself despite the chaos he is living in. It’s honorable that Emma sticks with Ray through thick and thin. It’s just characters trying their best, I don’t think it should be needlessly tagged as “angst” because I don’t think I write them that way for the sole reason of sadness. Rather, there is something I want to tell— something I want all of my readers to see.

But I can’t blame anyone since I haven’t written 3/4 of the fanfic yet. I haven’t shown you even a bit of the path I’ve already decided and mentally written for Conflict. I actually wanted to write Conflict tonight, but due to personal reasons I’m not feeling my best and despite my efforts to write Shotgun, I couldn’t write shit, and it won’t be good for my mental health to be in fiction today. Today I need my science and my facts (I say today but it’s 2.40 am and maybe I should sleep).

So, basically, I want to just SHOW by writing instead of giving leaks and stuff, but...

But...

You have no idea how much braining it takes to write Conflict.

Sure, I’m not a professional writer and there may be many better, smarter stories out there, but to me, personally, I put my best into Conflict. I give it all I have. I give it all my experience and everything I’ve learned until age of 21. It is a very condensed, artistic way of me talking about my life and experiences and observations throughout a fictional universe where it is not directly my life, but a world I try to represent in balance. So— to me, ever since I started writing first chapter I treated Conflict like my first book, I mean, sure it is a fanfiction but I thought “I’d give it a try as a hobby and if it goes well— if i can stick to it determined and if I get nice feedback and if people like it, this will give me strength to write a real book!” and BOY I got SOOO MUCH MORE THAN I’D EVER EXPECT, I even got FANARTS and people messaging me or commenting how much they personally relate or how much the fic helped them to go through bad days or how much they’ve seen themselves in Ray or Norman’s situations, and when I read those messages I can’t help but think all of you deserve to see the way Conflict builds up. You deserve to see how many times Ray and Norman are challenged, by themselves, by each other, and by society, and you deserve to see how they respond to them, and you deserve to see how much and how little of a difference it can make to have two people really love each other. Anyway, I went off topic, I was saying that, to me Conflict is a story I’m giving all I have got as the person I am today.

Other fanfictions of mine are moreee easy to write because they don’t have sovmuch in depth characters or complex plots and they are just that, fanfictions, in which I write a ship. But Conflict, man, I treat it like my real novel— which is technically one to me, though a non-profit one dedicated to the manga that really challenged me, and I have no regrets writing it or making it a fanfic. Anyway! Thing is, given the fact that Conflict is heavy, content and chapter length wise, I can’t always get to write it. I could, if this was summer, but this is collehe time and even though I really want to get going, sometimes I need to save Conflict for another time when I’m more available. Me publishing easy to write things like Shotgun doesn’t mean I’m available for conflict. The mental energy they take is A LOT different.

But it’s not in a bad-different way! I love both my fics! I have no regret over time and dedication I have for Conflict! I just, don’t have the time for it all the time, which can’t be helped.

It’s 2.49 am now. I really want to write conflict. First draft of chapter 16 was written two months ago. The scene is completed as a draft. But that scene includes a terrible pstd & panic attack about Ray and I just... /sighs/ don’t really wanna get in mood for something so gloomy? I wanna write more cute stuff like their awkward date on Shotgun... but I really want to keep Conflict going. I guess I’m terrified that given how fragile my mental health is right now, the content of Conflict might make it worse. I’d still proud to have finished a chapter. But thinking about writing about Leslie’s loss and its effects on Ray makes me shiver, because that’s a topic I’m sensitive of and although I almost never get affected emotionally from the ficsbI write (for example, I dont cry writing sad smiles neither do I smile a lot at soft scenes, I’m usually neutral and I simply enjoy act of writing itself) but the 1% chance that Conflict’s content might fuck with my mental health.. as if one last trigger before a breakdown, makes me want to stay a few steps back from Conflict and just breathe.

But I also somehow feel like I’m really available to write Conflict. I don’t know. Why do I care so much about Conflict, you may ask, since it’s just a fanfiction.

I think that’s because Conflict is the first real thing I’ve done (along with many other achievements that exactly started on the same day, July 1) after I got out of depression. It proves me that I can create something— get it visualized— and having people respond to it makes me feel connected to world. Remember the scene I wrote about Ray’s detachment to Emma’s calls? I’ve never gotten physically unresponsive like that, but there were times depression made me detached and to me that’s the scariest part... feeling detached. I feel as if I don’t post a fic for too long (assuming I’m in mood to write), or if I don’t go out/go to school/go to gym for too long, if I don’t meet up my friends or reply back to my texts for too long, I may get detached. If I get detached, I’ll think of dark, terrible stuff. If I don’t return world easily, it may easily slide into a depressed day. Or two days. Before I get back. And those one or two days are scariest because I’ve lived a YEAR worth of them, continiously, and god forbid me or anyone experiencing that. It was terroble.

So when I don’t write even when I want to, I feel as if I might get depressed. Not emotionally. But rationally— be being unable to do things I want to do EVEN WHEN I HAVE TIME AND SOURCES AVAILABLE FOR THEM would build depression up. I sm not saying right sway. Anyway. That’s why I care about Conflict. That’s why I’m staying dedicated. Dedication prevents detachment. When I’m not detached, and thankfully having readers interacting to me, I feel— or prove— that my work is reaching someone. I exist. My ideas mean something. Even if it’s just fan base, ie friends— I consider y’all friends— I mean, we are still kids, right? Most of us are 16-25 and that ain’t even real adult to me, we are just friends befriending each ofher oe so I believe, so like, even if its just with friends it means a thing. It prevents detachment. When I’m not detached I’m motivated. When I’m motivated I want to live. When I want to live I go out and do things. When I go out and do things I get motivated again. When I’m motivated again I write again. When I write I’m not detached. The cycle continues, see? Of coursw, writing is just ONE way to prevent detachment. It itself can’t carry all burden. Same goes for me regularly going to classes, going to gym, meeting up or calling my friends, etc. I’ve learnt that the more places you put a bit of yourself in, less likely you are from detachment. And that’s good. Idk, that’s why comments are important to me. It’s too personal at this point but they really, really, really help me to stay in connect.

So I want to write, so I can be happy, and I can interact, and look at my published chapter, so I can be further motivated to do things tomorrow... but it’s now 3 am and, I, if I start now I won’t be done earlier than 4.30 am and it’ll be cold and I’ll be brain dead, so for my sake, it’s better if I sleep. Msybe studying a bit before sleep will prevent detachment as well. I usually don’t EVER get detached, I’m quite successful at holding myselfnon line, but that’s bc I am careful about triggers. So... not starting conflict will be the best decision.

I don’t know how much time I’ll have in sunday but I hope it will be enough for a chapter update.

If you’ve read so far, thank you, this post went out of hand— but I can comfortably talk about it now because I’m over it, and I’m trying to rationalize the fact that me consistently updating really makes me happy and excited and having fun instead of feeling detached and it’s important and I just love my story and I hope you all feel content and satisfied when you read Conflict’s final.

#nila stuff #conflict #writing #personal #shotgun

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hearteyes-for-killmonger · 5 years

Text

Open Auditions

It's time for Kiwonna to lose her virginity (an outdated concept, but regardless). She must choose between a handful of prescreened guys chosen by her friends. One of them will get the job done. LIGHT Smut included.

🍒

In the rented hotel conference room, Kiwonna East sat front and center on a panel consisting of the most precious and valued opinions in her life. Four women surrounded her in a semicircle: Tera, Nikki, Gericka, and Ash, each dressed immaculately to their own taste and aesthetic. Kiwonna, herself, sat casually in a black tube top, tight leather leggings and Nike SF Air Force 1’s.. black and green. She slouched in her chair, elbows resting on her thighs. Her anxiety as the center of attention was cautiously hidden in a facade of disinterest.

“You'll be fine, Ki,” Tera soothed with an earnest expression. She sat at the right hand, close enough to rub the relaxed tension from Kiwonna's back. “It's not like you're auditioning a husband, just a guy to lose your virginity to. We've done the screening and the health tests, you just say yes if he's cute or no if he's ugly.”

“If I see a cute one and we make eyes, I'm taking him.. If you pass. Just so everyone knows,” Nikki added from Kiwonna's left hand before waving to her door, her golden bangles clinking together. “Tiff! Send in the penis parade.” The door opened and a sixth woman with a tall mass of bountiful curls opened the door letting in the first man.

Bosso

He was about 6'2 with deep and clear skin, close cut hair, and striking high cheekbones. His septum piercing added to his appeal. "This is my choice," Nikki announced proudly.

“What’s your name, where are you from, and are you a model,” Gericka asked clicking her pen, clipboard in hand.

“Bosso from Canada and yes, I am,” he spoke with confidence.

“Why should we choose you,” Tera glared, her own clipboard in hand.

“Why not? I'm a decent guy, respectful and honest. I wouldn't dip Immediately after and I'm actually very interesting.”

“None of what you said relates to our precious Kiwonna, but let us deliberate.” Tera turned toward the panel who leaned in closer together.

“What do you think," Gericka whispered looking to Kiwonna. She shook her head, no. That was all the deliberation they needed. Bosso had to go.

"NEXT," Ash yelled pointing to the door as Tiff escorted Bosso out, ushering in man #2.

Glory

"Oh hell no," Nikki deadpanned when the older gentleman strolled in. He was attractive for a man his age, but he must've been on the tail-end of his 50s... at least. "Who let this nigga in.. Tiff? Sis?"

"Don't blame me, blame Ash," Tiff flailed pointing at the the shifty-eyed woman with the wavy high ponytail.

"WHAT? An older guy will know what he's doing and make sure she gets hers! It's ONE TIME! Besides, he's cute. I don't care 'bout no salt n' pepper." Ash crossed her arms in a pout causing the others to sigh.

Kiwonna cackled. "What's your name, sir," she asked the older man who stood patiently, confident and unphased by the jokes.

"They call me many names, sweetheart, but Glory is what I prefer. My lovemaking might make you shed a tear. Get ready because King Kong ain't got shit on me." His lip quivered when Ash winked in his direction with a lustful eye. Kiwonna was nearly on the floor, her features twisted in heaving laughter. Nikki and Gericka weren't much better, slapping their knees obnoxiously. "Tick tock, tick tock," the man said. "I'm putting dick into all. you. bitches." The room was sputtering chaos.

"No deliberation necessary, issa NO," Tera spoke over the laughter. "He goes to Ash. Take him out! Tiff. NEXT," she yelled.

T'Challa

A tall 6'0 man entered the room with facial hair, a black and white striped shirt, and black pants tucked into clunky black boots. There was a subtle flash from the studs in his ears and the small diamond bracelet on his arm. There was also a dip in his walk that only the realest of niggas possessed. He stood in the center of the room with relaxed shoulders and a quiet cockiness. His posture read arrogance and pride, but his gentle eyes moved over each woman in humble greeting. "Greetings, I am T'Challa and I'd be honored to assist your friend in her sexual debut.. I have much experience and I've yet to disappoint..," he smiled. "I assure you, she will be in sturdy hands."

Gericka swooned, her clipboard forgotten. "This is my choice. He'd be perfect. I mean.. look at him. And that accent! Please pick him. T'Challa, if she doesn't pick you, I'll pick you myself!" He shrugged with a humble grin.

"Let's deliberate," Tera said leaning in closer to the group. "Best one so far. I like him," she whispered.

"Yeah, I like him," Nikki agreed.

Ash pursed her lips. "I don't know, I don't think he's Ki's type. He's way too cleancut. I wanna slip him a dibba-dab of cocaine and maybe--"

"NO," Tera and Nikki yelled in unison causing Ash to pout again.

"..It's like Ash said, he's just missing something," Kiwonna shrugged.

"We'll hold on to you, T'Challa. You definitely have one admirer," Tera spoke and Tiff escorted him out. "Tiffany?... Bring my guy," Tera smiled suspiciously causing the other women to carefully watch her and the door.

Erik

A 6'0 dread-headed man sauntered into the room with a dip intriguingly similar the previous bachelor. He wore retro Jordan 12s with grey sweatpants, a white tee, and a lightwash denim jacket. He also held a red solo cup that he sipped from, his wild locs pointing in every direction, standing as if starched. A low-swinging print pressing through the sweats drew every eye in the room.

"HEEELLL NO THE FUCK NOT! NOT HIM, HE'LL KILL HER! SEND HIM BACK," Ash screeched standing to walk toward the man and push him back to the door herself.

"SO! MAYBE SHE NEED HER SPINE BROKE," Tiff combated blocking the exit. As Ash pushed Erik with all her might, Tiff pushed back. The man easily turned, sliding Ash to the side before he walked back to the center of the room and drained his cup with a finishing belch, holding the cup out for anyone to take. Tiff stepped forward, giving it a tentative sniff before taking it to a trash can outside of the room. Straight Hennessy. Kiwonna shifted in her seat, her eyes glued to the man before her. She sat up straight, adjusting her posture to something she hoped was more appealing.

"Uh oh," Tera grinned. This was the one.

"What's your name, where are you from, and why should we choose you," Nikki grilled, her eyes intense. He was undoubtedly handsome, but that didn't impress her.

He looked at an imaginary presence as if there was a joke that no one else was comprehending. His sharp eyes penetrated directly through Nikki's venom. "You ain't gotta choose me. She already chose."

"That doesn't tell us what your name is and where you're from," Nikki pressed.

"Yeah! Buff ass.. plantain dick nigga! Answer the question," Ash snapped pushing up on him. He scoffed, not budging a centimeter despite Ash's energy.

"Fuck that shit," he said speaking directly to Kiwonna as she sat enamored. "You. Come here," he pointed to the empty spot in front of him. Kiwonna moved without a second thought causing Tera to clap and cackle.

"Yes, Ki! See, I know my baby," she bragged sticking her tongue out gleefully at the others.

Erik's arm snapped around Kiwonna's waist pulling her nearer as he examined her more closely, his forehead lowering to hers to search her dark orbs for answers. "What you like? You into specific shit or you want me to handle it how I see fit?"

"It's all you, just be easy because I haven't done this before," she said simply, leaving it open and in his hands. His arm moved around her shoulder as he began walking her to the door, eyes on Tiff. She stepped aside. "We got a room," Kiwonna said leading Erik to the elevator. He followed her lead silently. She couldn't keep her eyes off of him and he was definitely eye-fucking her as the elevator rose to the 12th floor. Leading him by the hand to the door, she appreciated his rough hands with her fingertips. Finally, they crossed the threshold into the room and door clicked closed. Erik didn't move, waiting for Kiwonna to initiate. "Sooo," she drawled stepping closer to him.

"Just making sure you still with the shits," she shrugged meeting her action. He stripped off his shirt exposing the pattern of small dotted keloids covering his entire torso and toed off his Jordans leaving them and his sweats on the floor, squaring his broad shoulders in wait. He'd came with no draws, just free-hanging dick. When Ki didn't get the memo, he pointed. "You not gone fuck me with clothes on."

Snapped from her daze of admiration, she sat on the bed pulling off her Nike boots before standing to wriggle out of her skintight leather leggings. The tube top was next, followed by her socks and underwear. "I'm ready," she perked.

"You one of them goofy bitches ain't you," he smiled raising a brow. "Lay down on your back and get comfortable."

"You just got a bigass dick and I'm nervous," she admitted, settling on the bed with her legs parted. He immediately began stroking himself to the sight of her body, moving to the foot of the bed.

"I know what I'm doing... Alright?... Let me do me." Wrapping his hands around her ankles, he yanked her ass to the foot of the bed where his pelvis was. "Hold your legs back.. higher. That's as far back as they go? Aight, we'll work with that." He dropped to his knees and separated her lower lips to peer inside and study his target. The air and manipulation stimulated her. His fingers started getting wet and sticky just from the inspection and he trailed his index through her wetness, collecting it and briefly sniffing it before plopping it into his mouth.

The sniff test didn't bother Ki because she was good.. and as she felt his long tongue sliding over her folds, she could attest that his tongue was just as good. She could hear Tera's voice in her mind cheering her on as she laid on the bed, legs splayed wide. His head bobbed, his tongue dipping in and out of her entrance before flattening and dragging up to her clit where he sucked a soft moan out it. She was already slipping under the spell of his tongue.

🍒

"Y'all think she's okay," Gericka asked waking up her phone. It'd been an hour and no one had gone to check on her.. yet.

"Give them another ten minutes and we'll check," Tiff said biting a hot wing from one of the boxes they were sharing."

"Then I'll go check," Tera stressed territorially. No one argued.

🍒

"Ki, you okay hun," Tera asked rapping at the door. When she didn't answer, Tera grabbed her room key seconds away from sliding it. The door popped open before she could and it was Erik, still butt naked, his dick semi-hard. "Shh," he mouthed and Tera treaded slowly to the bed when she saw the sleeping Kiwonna, passed out on her stomach with her bare rear still in the air. To be safe, Tera checked her pulse. It was normal, but the girl didn't move. "Poor baby tuckered out. What happened?"

"Watchu mean what happened? I fucked her to sleep," he whispered.

"How many rounds did y'all go? Did she cu--" Tera stopped short noticing the large puddle on the bed and the slight muscle spasm in Kiwonna's thigh.

"Like I said," Erik nodded unwilling to give anymore information. He wiped his dick on a washcloth snatched from the bathroom and bent to pick up his clothes to redress. "Ask her if you need to know the details. I don't discuss shit like that," he said adjusting his denim jacket on his shoulders. Walking out into the hall, he looked back catching Tera's attention. "...You... might wanna.. wipe her down... She still got some of my nut dripping out on her leg."

@whoramilaje @panthergoddessbast @thehomierobbstark @itsangeludaku @blackpantherismyish @trevantesbrat @vikkidc @amethyst1993 @allhailnjadaka @hold-me-like-a-heart-beat @iamrheaspeaks @thadelightfulone @raysunshine78 @fonville-designs @youreadthatright @drsunshine97 @bakarisangel @bakaris-shorty

#erik killmonger #original #erik stevens #killmonger #erik killmonger fanfiction #erik killmonger imagines #erik killmonger imagine #erik stevens au #erik killmonger smut #killmonger smut

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eye-of-enigmatic-thought · 4 years

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2019, a retrospective to this year and decade

Long post in-comin’

I’m gonna be honest, I’m not really sure how to describe this year and by extension, this decade, I guess that’s to be expected in a way, so many things can happen in 365 or more days to the point of a information overload, but I suppose the best way to describe this year was ‘complicated yet also stale’. Not much happened in the beginning aside from therapy and support group appointments, which were pleasant albeit I don’t remember much from them aside from drawings I’ve done that I showed to the other members, nothing of significance happened that I can recall during the middle of the year, and around near the end I took part in art therapy groups that I managed to make a few friends out of (though I sadly don’t chat with them often), at September I was beginning to try and get into college after being out of education for a year and managed to enrol (though court issues made me miss the first five weeks that I had to quickly catch up to), most of my memories of this year actually came from college.

College has been going good, so far! I have been learning a lot and my tutors are very kind, of course it can get stressful due to the long days I have and also due to some of my more rowdier peers, but I’ve managed to also befriend a few others that I am very happy to have met. Currently I’m in my break and I will use it to advantage as much as I can to post as much art as I can.

Also, I’ve just recently been exploring my gender, and well, I’m now transmasc rather than a demigirl, I still go by whatever pronoun and still see myself as nonbinary, but I am more masculine leaning now? I guess I might be a ‘demiboy’ but I still feel a bit more ‘fluid’ than that, sooo... masculine leaning demifluid? I dunno, but overall I’m not a girl anymore! :D

Rebirth is still being rewritten, admittedly I haven’t been focusing entirely on it due to some things in the way, but some of that is now gone so really my only enemy is my lack of motivation and poor time management, but even times where I’m not writing and/or editing the rewrite I’m still thinking of how I want certain scenes to go or what things I want the characters to say, so it’s still being worked on! I do feel incredibly bad that I haven’t been doing a lot of my Undertale-related stuff lately or even attempting to at least finish off the HS’ blog’s first arc (I at LEAST wanna finish that arc before I go on a official hiatus to fully know what to do with it), but you can rest assured that I have NOT forgotten about it and I do want to continue on with it, I guess that’s probably one of my goals for 2020, ‘more Undertale fanart’, yes, good, very good, mwahahahaha.

And now, a little something more personal, mostly in regards to this decade as a whole. Warning for mentions and discussions of pedophilia, bullying, suicide, and trauma for the next three or so paragraphs.

(Warning starts here)

My memories from around the beginning of this decade are hazy, but very notable, I’m not going to sugarcoat it by saying that from 2010-2013 were some of my worst years of my life, I was only 11-14 around this time, but when I wasn’t going through awful bullying at school that the teachers did nothing about, I would come back home to a toxic friend circle on DeviantArt that was filled with constant irrelevant drama and some REALLY creepy adults that would do smut rps with the minors in our group. Thankfully I never was a victim of this due to mostly staying in my corner and didn’t interact with others much, but I saw it happen to many of the other minors in said group, it left me disturbed but I rationalised it by thinking it was just some ‘teenager thing’ that I was too young for (because I was a little cretin that lied about my age and said I was 13 when I was really 11 when I first signed up haha), it was only when I was late into being 17 I realised ‘Oh my god the people who I called my friends and RP’d with were pedophiles and groomed the other minors what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck’.

This whole shitty ordeal with that dA friend circle and the constant bullying I went through in secondary school were so bad that it literally led me to have a suicide attempt at the age of 13, I survived of course, and I’m really glad I did, because I wouldn’t have met friends that through them I would manage to get away and abandon the old dA group because ‘fuck you guys I have BETTER FRIENDS NOW!’ Unfortunately all of that dA friend circle are now deactivated or are no longer active with all the evidence deleted so there’s no use making a callout or name dropping any of them or even searching for the other minors in attempt to rekindle with them (and I don’t think my heart would be able to handle it in that regard...), but I did find out that one of them who was a pedophile apologist at one point commissioned a ton of Darkrai pregnancy porn with one of it being fucking mpreg, so I can at least get a laugh from that shit, doubt she’s reading this but if you are...

You may be gone, but your darkrai mpreg porn will live on FOREVER... Forever for ME to laugh at!!! >8DDD So anyway get rekt and suck my non-existent dick you fucking creep.

(Warning ends here)

Phew alright, all that nasty stuff out of the way... 2014 was where things began to improve, I had moved secondary schools and I switched from a mainstream to a specialist school for other autistic children and I found the people who would become my closest friends, through one of them I also got a tumblr blog, and when Undertale came around (so late 2015 to around 2016 when the fandom was most active), through it’s fandom I managed to gain really kind and lovely friends that I love dearly, it’s somewhat strange to me, in the beginning since childhood I never had any close friends and the only ‘close’ ones I had were ones that either kept me around out of pity (because I was a awkward autistic kid), kept me around to constantly bully and push my buttons, or (in this case with the dA friend circle) were potential predators that I thankfully was never THAT close to, and actual close ones I lost contact with too quickly, to this day I’m so thankful for these friends and I dunno if they’d be comfortable with me namedropping them here, but if you’re reading this, you know who you are <333.

I of course had rough patches throughout the years, recovery from my traumas wasn’t easy and I was constantly having issues with pretty much everything from my mental health problems to environmental factors that were out of my control, I’m not going to go into detail on this one because this post is long enough already, but I am much better now than how I was when I was younger, I still have a long way to go, but I have definitely improved and I hope I can still improve, hell, I’ve even improved my art! Wanna see an example?

I drew this back in 2011 on mspaint on a mouse! Yeah! Can you believe that? Whilst to me my art right now isn’t exactly ‘artist goals’ I have definitely improved a lot since!! And I’ll keep on improving forever because that’s what this decade was like anyway! I’m not sure what the future holds, but I want to set these goals for next year:

Create more digital art Finish my unfinished short comic ideas and parodies Continue to chip away at Rebirth’s rewrite and finish Hissterical Scientist’s first arc. Work on my original stuff Continue to improve my mental health Get proper time management skills Learn to do commissions (I be gettin munz lol) Thank you to all my friends and family who have helped support me and stuck by me throughout all these years, I am so happy I get to spend a life with you and I hope we’ll continue to go through the future together, you mean so much to me and I can’t say thank you enough. Thank you to any followers who have sticked by me for so long and if you’re new, I hope we’ll make memories together!

Onward and upward, and leave behind the pain! <3

#tara's text

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katesloan · 6 years

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2017: the Year of Devastated Bravery

Time for my annual year-end survey! Been doing this one for well over a decade. Previously: 2012, the year of sex-positivity. 2013, the year of self-care. 2014, the year of turning over a new leaf, 2015, the year of foxy femme power, 2016, the year of the staunch heart.

1. What did you do in 2017 that you’d never done before? Rang in the New Year at the home of a local sex-positive community leader with some of my closest pals, and was sent home with Alka-Seltzer tablets for the morning. Interviewed a bunch of matchmakers for a news feature (which sadly has yet to be published, boo). Started writing for Glamour, after their sex & relationships editor reached out to me via Twitter DM. Hired some rad babes to overhaul my blog design for me. Was hired by, and later fired from, two different sex shops (lolol). Had a sex-date in a creepy hotel room in Queens. Got spanked with a hanger rail from said hotel room’s closet. Performed in the Bed Post variety show a couple times. Started inviting guests onto our podcast (Cooper S. Beckett was the first one!). Missed my flight from New York to Toronto and had an anxiety breakdown in the airport. Got published on Teen Vogue. Had our first podcast sponsor. Started banging one of my coworkers (whoops). Did a photoshoot in a dungeon with a beautiful babe. Made out in a heated outdoor swimming pool at a sex club (uh, many times). Got intensely spanked over an acquaintance’s kitchen counter by three people working in tandem. Hooked up with a cute older British man who was visiting on business; he invited me to return to his hotel the following night and bought me sushi and wine on his company card (so fancy). Attended the launch party for a party game I was a staff writer on. Tried having sex with a penis extender. Had a surprisingly fantastic one-night stand with a guy who remembered me from when he was my waiter at a restaurant once. Went on a date with a polyamorous guy whose girlfriend listened to my podcast and told him to ask me out. Got paid to ghostwrite spanking erotica. Celebrated my five-year blogiversary. Went on a couple dates with a cute civil litigation lawyer who was an exceptionally good kisser. Got high with my best friend and did a livestreamed podcast. Was a bridesmaid in the wedding of two of my best friends. Topped my previous monthly income goals, again and again. Turned 25. Attended (and subsequently roasted) the Toronto International Porn Awards. Dated someone (for ~4 months!) who initially knew me from listening to my podcast. Had sex for like 5 hours on a first date. Learned to like some kink acts I’d previously found scary, like choking, face-slapping, and face-fucking. Was in a Daddy Dom/little girl relationship for a while. Attempted non-hierarchical polyamory. Reviewed a vibrating teddy bear. Started a part-time social media job at an adult-industry marketing firm. Took Reid Mihalko’s jealousy workshop. Took a freelance writing class from Alana Massey. Pegged someone. Got my wrists tattooed. Did a live podcast recording at a sex conference in front of friends and fans. Spanked a friend with a bible in a hotel room in Virginia. Got fucked in the ass with a glass dildo by a blogger friend while other blogger friends casually watched. Got a 4-handed erotic massage. Performed blowjob sonnets at a sex club. Went on a date with someone who turned out to be the best friend and roommate of someone I’d gone on a date with the previous month. Unexpectedly made out with/got slapped around by/got fingerbanged by a friend I’d known for over 10 years in an alley behind a restaurant. Moved out of my parents’ place and into an apartment! Had coffee with my editor at the Condé Nast building. Saw the McElroy brothers speak (and Lin-Manuel Miranda open for them) at a live podcast recording. Attended my high school reunion. Did tequila shots with my boss on my first day at a new job. Had an actual goddamn “sugar daddy,” briefly. Sold a sweaty T-shirt and socks to a fetishist. Went to a sex tradeshow with my fuckbuddy. Got spanked with a lightsaber. Slow-danced to a song about impregnation. Got accepted to speak at the Playground Conference. Received a strap-on blowjob from a pretty lady. Had two dates with two Twitter crushes in New York in one day (and then started dating both of them). Made out in a Breather. Did a knifeplay scene. Explored my domme side in earnest. Sexted from a TSA line. Went through NRE with two different people at once (a lot of crying ensued). Got hypnotized. FaceTimed with someone for 8 hours straight.

2. Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Last year I resolved to “make self-development and career development my top priorities, to make romantic/sexual decisions based on the maxim ‘quality over quantity,’ and to make more money.” I think doing the first two things is what enabled me to do the third thing (I earned twice as much money in 2017 as in 2016!) – focusing on love and sex only when it actually served me, and delighted me, freed up a lot of time and passionate energy for businessy pursuits. Next year I resolve to pitch more stories, travel more, further foster my friendships with femmes, write more helpful content, and save more money.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Not that I can recall.

4. Did anyone close to you die? My grandfather, Rex Loring.

5. What countries did you visit? Just the USA (New York in January, September, and December; Alexandria in August). Within Canada, I spent a fair bit of time in Hamilton but was otherwise in Toronto the whole year.

6. What would you like to have in 2018 that you lacked in 2017? A specific goal for my savings. Some steps taken toward larger-scale writerly ambitions (like, perhaps, writing a book proposal and/or self-publishing an ebook). Maybe a long-term relationship of some description; I dunno, man.

7. What dates from 2017 will remain etched upon your memory? January 25th – missed my flight back from New York February 10th – met my current FWB (and then, February 13th, banged him for the first time) April 22nd – Eric and Ashley’s wedding April 25th – first date with G, at Tell Me Something Good May 9th/10th – some disastrous poly stuff happened with G June 1st – started at my current dayjob August 3rd-6th – Woodhull August 11th – the hardest breakup I’ve been through in many years September 1st – moving day (and Brent’s show at the Horseshoe) September 8th – live MBMBaM show + coffee with Cady at Condé Nast September 11th – BirthdayBruises November 14th – got fired + talked to Dick a bunch November 29th – Vagic Tricks workshop December 13th – first dates with Dick + my Sir

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Professionally: Made twice as much money as I made last year. My dayjob remained under 25% of my income, with the other 75% coming from my more creative and self-directed income streams. Had clips in two prominent Condé Nast publications (Teen Vogue online, and Glamour online and in print). Sold 27+ sponsored blog posts. Personally: Made it through a horrendous breakup without dying. Got better at setting boundaries within my friendships and relationships. Successfully prioritized relationships and friendships with people who treat me well and actually deserve to be in my life.

9. What was your biggest failure? Putting up with men who walked all over me. (I feel like this is a recurring motif in my life, and in the lives of most women and femmes, honestly…) I also got fired from two different jobs this year. In both cases, they were minimum-wage jobs I didn’t really care about, wasn't well-suited for, and didn’t actually need, but still...

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Not really. I had the flu in September and struggled with mental health stuff all year, particularly in January and August, but was mostly fine.

11. What was the best thing you bought? Several things: My bright turquoise Coach tote, which I carried with me on numerous trips, sex-dates, photoshoots, etc. An app called Piezo which I use all the time for Skype interviews/podcast thingz. My knee-high Frye engineer boots (swoon) and rainbow glitter Doc Martens (swooooon). The V10 brush from BH Cosmetics (sooo useful for my brows on a daily basis!). Two Tarina Tarantino heart necklaces. A new mirror for my new apartment. Several adorable H&M dresses. My turquoise Seven-Year Pen. Lots of knitwear. A new Kindle. Weed. A microwave.

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration? My best friend Bex, and my family. (Hell, Bex is family at this point.) My close and supportive buddies Sarah, Suz, Dan, Tynan, Taylor, and Steph. The 4 boys with whom I am romantically/sexually entangled right now (gems, all of ‘em!).

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed? The boy who broke my heart, and lots of Men On The Internet. Same old.

14. Where did most of your money go? Other than boring answers like rent and transit? Food and drinks, probably. I was more gluttonous than materialistic this year. I also spent a good chunk o’ change on tickets to things: theatre, airfare, classes, concerts, comedy, live podcast recordings...

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Working with Glamour and Teen Vogue. The Adventure Zone and other McElroy content. Hitting income goals (seriously, I’m talking about money more often than boys in my journals recently, which is a FEAT). Hippo Campus and Nathan Stocker. Working on ye olde blog and podcast, as ever. Negotiating/exploring new kink stuff.

16. What song/album will always remind you of 2017? First and foremost, Hippo Campus’ album Landmark, which I thrashed for almost the entire year. Related: their Warm Glow EP, and anything from their guitarist Nathan Stocker’s solo project Brother Kenzie. Beyond that: Coin’s How Will You Know If You Never Try?, Pinegrove’s Cardinal (which I listened to pretty much on loop while recovering from my brutal breakup in August), Grouplove’s “Do You Love Someone?”, Vampire Weekend’s “Horchata,” Panama Wedding’s “Uma,” Bombay Bicycle Club’s “Cancel On Me,” Betti’s “Ordinary,” Saint Motel’s “Puzzle Pieces.”

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: happier or sadder? Happier. My heart got thoroughly broken this year but I feel stronger and more self-sufficient for it. thinner or fatter? A bit thinner. Who cares. richer or poorer? Soooo much richer. Your girl made some goooood biz decisions this year.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Last year I wrote that I wished I’d gone on dates with more people, and woof, I sure met that goal in 2017. I went on 12 first dates, which is more than enough, thank you very much. I wish I’d spent more time chasing my creative impulses than my romantic or sexual ones. Although the latter kind of fueled the former for me, this year and every year.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Thinking “I can and will put up with this [bad behavior/uncomfortable circumstance/shitty job]” when I couldn’t and shouldn’t have. Being depressed, but hey, what can ya do.

20. How will you be spending Christmas? Spent it exchanging presents and eating delicious meals with my family.

21. Who did you spend the most time talking to? Bex, Max, Brent, Sarah, my FWB, my two current long-distance beaux, and the dude who was my boyfriend for a bit.

22. Did you fall in love in 2017? Yeah, and I’m still pissed about it. Love is pain!! [tosses hair in the manner of a tortured goth]

23. How many one night stands in this last year? Two true one-night stands (defined as: we had sex the night we met, and never saw each other again), plus one additional person I had sex with only once but went on a second date with afterward.

24. What was your favourite TV programme? American Horror Story, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, The Bold Type.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? I’m not thrilled with the guy who broke my heart, but I wouldn’t say that I hate him; that would involve more energy than I am willing or able to give to his memory at this juncture...

26. What was the best book you read? Fiction: I loved The Killer Wore Leather (Laura Antoniou’s murder-mystery set at a kink convention), Perfume: the Story of a Murderer (a truly haunting and viscerally olfactory novel by Patrick Suskind), and Sleeping Beauties (the creepy “what if every woman on earth fell asleep and wouldn’t wake up?” novel co-written by Stephen King and his son). Nonfiction: Laurie Mintz’s Becoming Cliterate was eye-opening, inspirational and fresh. Lisa A. Phillips’ Unrequited blew my fucking mind. I recently devoured Rachel Hills’ The Sex Myth and it’s wonderful.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? I listened to a bit of Pinegrove last year because Sean recommended them on his blog, but it wasn’t until this year that I really got into them. I started inexplicably craving their music after I got my heart broken and it made me feel weirdly better for weeks afterward.

28. What did you want and get? A boyfriend/partner/daddy dom (though it didn’t last very long). More money than I have ever made before. Career expansion. Closer friendships. An invitation to do a live podcast recording at a conference. An apartment, with a rad roommate. More confidence and self-sufficiency. Interesting kink adventures.

29. What did you want and not get? A romantic relationship that was actually and enduringly satisfying to me in the ways that most matter to me. I feel like I write some variation on this here every year. It’s okay. It’ll happen when it happens. Also, I wanted to do a writing retreat and that didn’t happen, though I’m blessed enough that I take little mini writing retreats of sorts all the time anyway.

30. What was your favourite film of this year? I think the only new ones I saw were Wonder Woman, The Big Sick, and It, none of which I really loved that much. It wasn’t a big film year for me.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 25. At midnight I was in bed in a hotel in Hamilton, having been in the wedding of two of my best friends the day previous. I had invited a gentleman friend to come romance me in my hotel that night but he was sick and had to cancel, so I just spent the night in a hot bath and then cozy in bed. The morning of my birthday, I checked out of the hotel and took a bus back to Toronto. That evening, Bex and I got dressed up fancy, went for dinner at the Black Bull Tavern, and attended the Toronto International Porn Festival awards gala, which was a hot mess.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? I can’t even think of anything. It was a satisfying year for me in many ways.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2017? Low-effort femme. Lots of cozy colorful sweaters, denim shorts, stompy boots, crop tops, big hair, and kneesocks.

34. What kept you sane? My friends, my family, therapy, journaling, sex/kink/masturbation, my work, quiet introvert self-dates at bars/diners/cafés, hot baths,

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Nathan Stocker, Andy Samberg, Mark Andrada, Dan McCoy...

36. What political issue stirred you the most? Civil rights stuff, same as always. Gender equality and sexual equality and racial equality and all the equalities, basically.

37. Who did you miss? The two New York boys I’m currently romancin’, and Bex, pretty much always. And my ex, for a time.

38. Who was the best new person you met? Jordan, Adam, Thane, Cady, Logan (and several other babely bloggers at Woodhull), Todd, Dick, Matt, Eva...

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2017. Even people who claim they will never hurt you can hurt you. That’s depressing, but it’s also somewhat Zen, because if you deeply, truly know that anyone can hurt you at any time, you come to enjoy the non-hurting parts so much more while they’re happening. Again, this sounds super tragic but I actually find it so liberating and uplifting when I think about it.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. “Menfolk, they need their women, but women don’t need their men.” -Nellie McKay, “Just a Pose” “Maybe I would’ve been something you’d be good at. Maybe you would’ve been something I’d be good at.” -Tegan and Sara, “Call It Off” “It’s cold outside this evening, but warm between your sheets. We both wanted something we’re not likely to repeat.” -Paul Cook & the Chronicles, “Ships Pass” “Someone to talk to late at night. Someone who fits you right… Someone who makes your heart go boom boom boom. Someone you see across a crowded room. Someone who makes your heart jolt. Not some okay girl. A real thunderbolt.” -Paul Cook & the Chronicles, “A Real Thunderbolt” (I could’ve quoted this entire song here, honestly)

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kd0mgg · 4 years

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“Time to get REAL” - Introduction, pt 1

It was in the past few months, actually in November of 2019. I had finished work and went home to my apartment and was determined to get stoned to relax and watch a tv show and eat. At the time, i was taking dabs (a concentrated form of THC and cannabinoids) I had my first dab of the day. My neighbor from downstairs texts me, “Hey, Nancy is over at Laura’s [real names removed, for privacy]. She’s haveing a get together would you stop by with me?” Well I knew that Nancy used to live in my apartment prior to me, so I decided I would like to meet the woman that used to live in my apartment, I had heard great things, like the restoration of the 20s single bedroom. I was very excited. I told my neighbor, yes, come on by and have a quick smoke. So we meet up, smoked, and then went across the hall to see our friends. I sat there in awe of this woman who was in the apartment saying she was a nurse and trying her hardest to be a nurse in the military. Being a Navy veteran I was mostly consumed in the conversation with her, I Almost forgot I was in Laura’s apartment. They kept offering me food and drink with I respectfully declined even though I could have definitely smashed all those chicken wings they had. It was getting latter, other neighbors and people there had to get going soon.. so I ended up leaving too after learning Laura had a few drinks and was ready for bed herself.

I went back to my apartment with Nancy, and she gave me the grand tour of my apartment. It was very neat as she showed me everything she had restored, it truly is a very beautiful apartment. Beautifully restored. After all that excitement, we all said our goodbyes and made our ways.

This is where it gets more “exciting”,

So after everyone had left, I went back for another dab. Aww heck, maybe even another one just for the full effect. HOLY SHIT. I immediately looked at this waxy material and decided something wasn’t right with this bright orange color, there had to be something else in it. I was sooo high, I couldn’t think straight but one thing is for sure is my introspection of the whole night had made two turns.

1. Tonight was very interesting but what about my apartment? I had a few women of the building in my apartment and I felt it was messy, thought they did say and admire the cleanliness (maybe they thought it would have been worse?) but I did have that bong hanging out on my kitchen table, so that was my only concern there, because everyone said they were fine with weed. But, how did they think I lived? Was it something I’d be proud of if I saw another person walk into this aoetment after I moved out?

2. The introspection became very real. I really was so high I was thinking I had become some gluttonous addict who couldn’t control himself. What have I been doing the past few months? What production have I done? How has I improved things for myself moving back? And I making the right choices? Am I just using weed to cover up my feelings? Am I using weed to justify that I freak out when I’m reminded of stressful situation? Is my anxiety from weed use or not? Will this ending eating stop or is it just the weed? I’ve gotten so fat and disgusting. Didn’t drugs get me in trouble in the first place? Yes. I’m a true piece of shit.

Needless to say, I was very much freaking out. To the point where I even called my sister and told her “hey, I have a problem I feel I can’t stop this weed consumption, I don’t feel right without it, and right now when I’m on it I don’t feel right maybe I’ve gone overboard”. She felt sorry for me, and wanted to be there for me but she was out of town. She asked if I needed to talk to her boyfriend, which, whom I really like, I did not hesitate on that idea. When talking with him, he had mentioned that I’m probably very anxious right now and that I should go take a breather, a walk, something to kinda calm myself down so I can think straight. I tried, but the winters of Minnesota are very cold. So, for my short walk I came back and fell asleep.

The next morning I woke up, I felt so guilty for even bringing all this to that point. So I made the executive decision over myself and “ITS TIME TO GET REAL”. I tossed my bong, all the drugs, everything weed related anything ever. Gone. Disposed of. I started to selectively tell people that I had been about things for many months and I didn’t have realistic ideas when I was high, that I was sorry, and I’m trying to learn and move on.

Time to get real.

Hello, I’m Ben. I am a disabled veteran of the United States Navy, this is my story.

This is my new way of coping, helping me find understanding in my thoughts, regaining control of my mental health demons. I want to find the best perfect ways to get veterans in sitatuions like mine to learn to let it go and move on. I’m no campion myself, but I’m going to give everything a fair try.

#veteran #military #recovery #mentalhealth #itsoknottobeok

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lvcthng · 3 years

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I know most of you were shocked at my weight loss. Yes, everything got smaller - shirt size was S now XXS, and waistline was 26 now 24. Forget about the bra size 😂😅 Danggg, I'm sooo petite. Wtf? Lol. I don't like being called "tiny" before but hey, you guys finally have my permission lol

To those who were complaining, stfu! To those who were asking why I got so skinny, read this.. It's kinda long.. 😅

It started in March this year. My mom and I had an issue, we could've fix it but she involved our immediate family that it gotten so big. I was so stressed that I couldn't handle it anymore so I ran away. I moved to a new city that's 6 hours drive (580.1 km) away from them. Just in 2 or 3 days after I moved, I got quarantined for 2 weeks for being in close contact with some individuals who were COVID-19 positive. It was that period when I noticed my boyfriend losing his interest in me. I asked, he denied, but boy I felt it. *sigh* Do you know how hard it is to immediately leave your 2 jobs, your friends, and moved to a different city while having bad terms with your family?

I found a job after quarantine. My family and I were finally in good terms again, yay! I was happy, I felt lighter and refreshed but unfortunately, after a week I got tested positive for COVID-19 (variant). It felt like my world turned upside down because I know I will be effin isolated. 😔 I thought I was slowly working on getting life back on track, but I was wrong. I had no idea my life is already on its way downhill again. So much has happened during my isolation, there's one night I wanted to go to the hospital because I was having a hard time breathing, I asked for help but my bf didn't care about me at all. Fuck it! It seemed like I was just a silent wind, he can't see and hear me. 💔 During those days my bf and I broke up, I also found out everything - I was living in a world full of lies, and that is more painful. I did what I think is the right thing to do, and that is to let go - the greatest act of love. Trust me, I've been through hell and back. I have past traumas, I've survived things no one should ever go through. My life has been nothing but a misery since birth. 🥺

Everything I've loved became everything I lost. I'm experiencing health and financial struggles... until now. ☹ My job got really affected because of these bs, yep I passed out while working!! When I was in the ambulance, paramedics couldn't start an IV on me because of severe dehydration. They tried looking for my veins from both of my hands tho, kept poking me over and over till they gave up lol that hurts btw!! I was diagnosed with Vasovagal / Neurocardiogenic syncope. Dr told me fainting can happen again in the future and can be worse. A lot has happened why I'm experiencing severe emotional distress, but I decided not to mention them here. I know I've been through shit, but these never happened to me before. Tbh, naa pa'y uban health related issues na wa na nako gi mention diri. Mygod, how embarrassing!! So, I finally gave up my job which I really love and came back home to my parents' place.

Too much damage has been done. I am emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and physically drained. I need to save myself from the dangerous person I've become. Please help me pray for my peace and complete healing. 🙏

To the guy who ruined my life, you have made me vulnerable and have opened up my wounds from the past. One day I'll get back up and hopefully forgive you even though you weren't sorry for the things you've done. I've let you go, I've set you free, I've made a lot of sacrifices for your happiness, even if it's without me. But it's alright. You know why? Because I know my worth and you don't deserve me.

I'm leaving everything behind na. God is watching. He knows everything what happened. To the person who made me walk through hell again, I didn't bother mentioning your name. You know who you are. If you get to read this, good. If not, then it's still ok. Wa na nako gisulti tanan nahitabo kay mutaas kaayo. Hehe anyway I don't wanna talk about this shit anymore. Bye!

Xoxo,

L' Vonnessa ♡

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consulting-celiac-in-the-tardis · 4 years

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30+ Simple to Surprising Suggestions That Won't Cure Celiac Disease

New blog post! One of the very first things my doctor told me after my celiac disease was this: "Right now, there is no celiac disease cure...you can only manage your symptoms by sticking to a strict gluten free diet." And yet, over six years after that moment, I still regularly bump into people who say that they "used" to have celiac disease.

Yeah. The phrase "used to" boggles my mind just as much as it does yours! But thinking about these "past" celiacs (as well as this awesome post from Carb Counting Mama about mythical "cures" for Type 1 Diabetes) got me curious. I found myself asking: what are some of the most common "cures" that are suggested to people with celiac disease like me? And, even better, what are some of the weirdest? So I scoured gluten free Facebook support groups, Reddit and Quora threads, and polled my own Insta followers...and here's what I came up with! Keep in mind...as I wrote above, there is presently NO celiac disease cure (though there are some cures being tested in various research studies). All the celiac disease "cures" are listed below solely for entertainment purposes, as well as in hopes that they will serve as a reminder to take other people's advice - especially about your health! - with a grain of salt.

Let's begin with three of the MOST common incorrect celiac disease "cures":

1. You need to go gluten free to heal the intestinal damage initially caused by celiac disease...but once your antibodies test at a "normal" level, you're cured and can eat whatever you want! Cue the booing audience soundtrack, because this is definitely very false! Yes, you will test negative for celiac disease and not show any intestinal damage after going gluten free, but that's only because you're not eating gluten. As soon as you start, all that damage will come back...and "once again", you will have celiac!

2. Now, let's discuss "cure" number two: keeping or adding a little gluten back into your diet so that your body can slowly become more tolerant of it. This is a practice called oral immunotherapy, and it's becoming a more common treatment for people with food allergies. You can also read here about how injectable immunotherapy may be helpful for people with celiac disease in the (likely far) future. However, it is important to keep in mind that celiac disease is NOT the same thing as a food allergy, and exposing someone with celiac disease to low doses of gluten will not "improve their tolerance" of it. 3. And finally, the infamous, "Oh, I bet you'll grow out of it!" Beep. Wrong answer! When you're diagnosed with celiac disease, you have it for life. But maybe the friends or coworkers talking about how their aunt or cousin magically "healed" their celiac disease credits a different technique.

You know...something a little more alternative-medicine-like.

Here are just a couple of real-life suggestions people have gotten on how to cure their celiac disease:

"Heal your gut." Yes, working on creating a happy gut by eating probiotic-rich foods, avoiding foods that mess with your body, etc. may help you feel better in the long run...but it won't let you just magically go back to eating Papa John's pizza.

Use a detoxing diet protocol or product line...and I'm not gonna name any names, but if you've ever been in a Facebook group related to eating gluten free, you've probably seen at least a few posts talking about the latest miracle pill or juice line.

Do a parasite cleanse.

Clear up the yeast infection that caused celiac disease in the first place. Now, there are studies linking yeast infections or fungal infections and celiac disease, and some even suggest yeast overgrowth could be the trigger to celiac disease or the reason why some people with celiac disease don't feel 100% even after going gluten free. But the only site I found saying clearing up a yeast infection "fixed" someone with celiac was selling a yeast cleanse product...and repeatedly used "celiac" and "gluten intolerance" to mean the same thing. Sooo...do with that what you will.

Try Chinese acupuncture to "reset" your immune system. People in the comments did report their seasonal allergies had improved via acupuncture...but from what I've seen, no celiacs have yet been cured via needles.

And now, drum roll please....we get to the food. Currently, eating gluten free is the only science-backed treatment for celiac disease...but that doesn't keep other people from suggesting different or even more restrictive diets.

Dietary Choices That Can "Cure" Celiac Disease:

Eating gluten from Europe, since its different processing protocols or ingredients make it "safe" for people with celiac disease. Unfortunately, wheat is wheat...and all wheat, gluten and barley are dangerous for people with celiac.

That you actually just need to avoid pesticides covering food, not the food itself. I'm pretty sure pesticide-free wheat will still hurt me. And so far, one of the only studies linking pesticides with celiac disease (in a causal relationship) was later said to have made conclusions "not supported by the available scientific evidence."

Only eating organic fruits and veggies and free-range meats. Which is basically just one form of a gluten free diet, which doesn't "cure" celiac disease but does treat the symptoms.

Guzzling bone broth.

Drinking celery juice on the daily.

Eating allll the bananas. At least this celiac disease cure has history, considering that doctors first treated people with celiac disease by prescribing a banana-only diet.

Eating a plant-based diet. You can certainly eat a plant-based and gluten free diet, and you may even find eating plant-based makes you feel healthier overall...but it won't let you eat gluten again if you have celiac disease.

Avoiding GMOs.

Only eating whole wheat versus refined flours. Because whole wheat is definitely what someone who can't tolerate gluten or wheat needs to heal? Yeah, I'm lost on this one.

This is when my research really started getting fun (in a twisted sort of way, I suppose). Because the more I searched, the more weeeeird celiac disease "cures" I discovered.

We'll start off pretty tame with just three "healthy living" hacks that are often suggested to pretty much anyone with a chronic illness.

Doing yoga. I can confirm that doing hot yoga regularly will not sweat out your inability to eat gluten.

Juicing. Unfortunately, I don't believe fruits and veggies can change our genes...

Drinking hot water every morning. Apparently, this is what everyone in Cambodia suggested one celiac traveler should try...

And then there are the countless things you can buy to "fix" your digestion, your mood and, of course, your autoimmune disease. Just to name a few examples, here are some marketable celiac disease "cures" many celiacs recall being pitched:

Essential oils...because what CAN'T essential oils do these days?!?

Probiotics. Taking probiotics has definitely transformed my gut health for the better, but there is a major limit to their "healing" powers.

Chinese medicine. Again...these cure everything, right?

Digestive enzymes. Possibly helpful when at risk for cross-contamination while eating out or if you have gluten intolerance. Not helpful for de-activating your celiac gene.

Activated charcoal. Sammmme as above.

And finally, the grand finale: a bunch of celiac disease cure suggestions that I saw on my computer screen and couldn't help but think:

"This is too weird to make up."

Get pregnant and your body will "magically" fix its celiac disease. Who knew we all just needed a bun in the oven to suddenly eat wheat?

Prayer. I know this is a touchy subject, and I don't include this "cure" in this grouping as an intentional attack on anyone who believes in the power of prayer. I agree that miracles can happen...but that it's also irresponsible to suggest that people with celiac disease can or should just pray about being able to eat gluten and still put their body in harm's way...

Meditating regularly and reducing stress. Definitely beneficial in helping you cope with the stress of having an autoimmune disease. But that's about it.

Exorcism?!? Yeah...I'll just leave that one here. (And note that the person who shared this story considers the wannabe celiac "exorcist" an ex-friend. Not surprising, I'd say!).

Thinking positively.

Communion wafers that are made with gluten. As the commenter put it, "I know God loves me, but God's gluten wafer definitely doesn't."

Going to a psychologist or therapist. Celiac disease CAN have a psychological impact on the people who have it, but it's not rooted in our minds.

Waving vials of wheat near your body to "desensitize" it to gluten. A mom heard this tip from her daughter's doctor. Safe to say, they soon found a new practitioner to visit.

What I Hope You Take Away From This Post

At the end of the day, I would be ecstatic if there was a celiac disease cure...not necessarily even for me to use, but as a great option for my children, should they inherit my celiac disease.

Right now, though, there is no cure for celiac disease - just eating gluten free to treat celiac's symptoms.

I know that fact can be hard to accept, especially if you're newly diagnosed or struggling with celiac-related issues right now.

But also know this: over six years after my celiac diagnosis, I can honestly say that I'm living pretty dang happily while eating gluten free. And you can too.

So if friends or coworkers do suggest a less-than-scientific way to magically "fix" your celiac disease, I hope you can laugh off their suggestions and be grateful for everything you still can do, even while living with celiac disease.

Has someone ever told you they "cured" their celiac disease or know someone who did? I'd love to hear your stories in the comments! via Blogger https://ift.tt/2HSKFOk

#Blogger #college #celiac #gluten free #coeliac #celiacs #paleo #primal #foodporn #foodart

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gogocrazygo · 4 years

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It is human instinct to put out a fire or at least call for help when a house is burning, as we want to save what we can of it.

It is human instinct to help someone, sometimes even a stranger, when they are in desperate need, as we thrive from self-satisfaction of being of help to someone, and being perceived as thoughtful and compassionate.

So what makes us human? It is not just our built and physical capability. What truly make us distinguished from other living creatures on this earth are our minds. The capacity of our brains is greater than of any other species in animal kingdom, therefore our senses and logical reasoning are stronger. Imagination, creativity and being able to analyse situations and problem solve enabled us to build the world we are living in now. We are all so proud of our human achievements throughout history. We are also very compassionate in nature. We feel emotions towards objects like food, situations like falling in love or war, other people and their impact on our lives, and most of us appreciate and cherish animals and the nature surrounding us. So why is it that our so called Home, Planet Earth and natural world is slowly shrinking, sinking, burning and warming before our eyes?

Barack Obama himself said “Climate change is no longer some far-off problem; it is happening here, it is happening now,”, and with the amount of scientific support out there it is just no sensible reason for us as human beings to turn our backs on this crisis. Without our home we cannot thrive and continue to grow as we have been.

Growing up in an average household, global warming was mentioned in many family conversations. We tried recycling and being more aware but it was something that I never thought we would have much impact on at all. It is only now that I have been living on my own for one and a half years, I thought to myself that “yes there is an issue, and I am very aware of it”, but what can I do about it? The government and economy are way out of my control and while some people might be aware of the issue, but life is just too busy so we brush this topic under the rug. My budget is certainly not that great so I’m very cautious of my outgoings, and I’m also busy all the time, so how can I possibly be more environmentally friendly?

“No one will protect what they don’t care about, and no one will care about what they have never experiences” is what my man David Attenborough has said, which is why he is so good at showing us all through various or media how amazing this planet is and why we have to protect it.

I love this planet; I love what it has given me, the surrounding nature, the animals, my family, the people that I meet, and I love the freedom of speech and expression. Reviewing my current personal situation got me thinking, I have to do something or at least try and slowly start making changes as I cannot look away anymore.

If you already know enough about pollution but want to know more about what you can do to reduce waste at your household, skip to the Easy Swaps section. If you want to find some interesting facts continue reading on 🙂

Global Warming and Pollution

UN reports that from 1880 to 2012, the average global temperature increased by 0.85°C. Oceans have warmed and the melting ice is making the sea levels rise. From 1901 to 2010, the global average sea level rose by 19 cm which is quiet alarming.

UN also states that “Given current concentrations and ongoing emissions of greenhouse gases, it is likely that by the end of this century global mean temperature will continue to rise above the pre-industrial level. The world’s oceans will warm and ice melt will continue. Average sea level rise is predicted to be 24–30 cm by 2065 and 40–63 cm by 2100 relative to the reference period of 1986–2005.” Such a high rise in sea levels will make certain Islands such as Atolls, Maldives and Tuvalu hard to visit or live on due to coastal erosion. Other coastal cities like Miami will be affected and so will millions of people in residence.

When we talk about pollution, one of the first things that come to our minds is greenhouse gas emission from combustion of fossil fuels in cars, buildings, factories, power plants and burning fossil fuels in manufacturing processes etc. Here are some less popular facts that have a huge impact as well:

Population growth alongside the standards of living. In most MEDCs we have more money to spend on we don’t even know what as we have sooo many choices. When consumption grows, the waste and plastic pollution grows it’s as simple as that.

Methane released from landfills, natural gas and petroleum industries are a huge factor, but not as big as the methane released from food agriculture/ farming. This is mainly caused by grazing animals releasing gasses (yes this means #farts) on meat and dairy farms. We also have nitrous oxide released from fertilizers and gases used for refrigeration and industrial processes. Other things in agriculture that affect pollution and global warming are logistics, land use, water and food resource use, deforestation and interfering with natural habitats. All our food manufacturing processes result in using more and more natural resources, leaving less and less behind.

Single use plastic is proving to significantly contribute to greenhouse gas emission at every stage of its life, starting from production, going into distribution and then at the end of its life where it takes between 50 and 600 years to biodegrade. Even after that, the small plastic molecules are distributed in the air and the oceans, ending up in out drinking water, fish we catch, even farm foods we consume. I don’t like the idea of slowly being poisoned to death with plastic by just eating veggies and drinking water.

Plastic waste

Pretty city view in Amsterdam this summer surrounded by litter.

So lets’ get a couple of facts and figures out of the way, shall we?

Research shows that annual CO2 emission from plastic waste could grow up to 2.75 million tonnes by 2050. It’s in 30 years’ time guys. I’m going to be 58 and swimming in plastic waste. Lovely thought for future L

Jokes aside, plastic pollution has not only been a concern related to climate change. Recently it has been all over media, after Blue Planet 2 release in 2017, that plastic polluting our seas has an impact on the entire ocean ecosystem, our health and the natural world all over. Microplastic particles are now floating in the air and can be found from top of Mount Everest to Mariana Trench, which is the deepest ocean trench explored.

Millions of animals varying from krill, to fish, whales, birds, seals and turtles are killed from either ingesting plastic, or by simply being stuck in a plastic object unable to get free, suffocating to death. The UKs leading marine charity MCS organises yearly beach clean-ups to make sure we reduce the risk of animals and habitats being affected by the pollution on our coasts. You can get involved in their work by clicking here and help make change.

By simply identifying which plastics are recyclable and which ones are not, we can reduce plastic pollution dramatically. But the main goal is to reduce single use plastic buying. Less plastic in household means less plastic in our lands and in our seas.

BBC has done a brilliant, well researched and eye opening piece on the Plastic Pollution Problem, which I highly recommend on checking out by clicking here.

As consumers we have the ENTIRE power over what goes into our household, so why not take some simple actions right now?

Easy swaps

Here are some of my personal tips and easy swaps that can help you start plastic waste reduction:

No more plastic bottles. Reusable bottles are so much better in so many ways and water should be FREE so why are you paying for it?

Bringing your own food storage pots. In case you are thinking of having a take away or a lunch at a local caff, if you know they will give you a plastic pot to serve your food in, why not give them yours? I have been doing this a lot at work with the local caff, and they were more than happy to put the food in my own food container.

Have a straw with you at all times. I also carry my small cutlery set everywhere I go. Just say no to plastic straws and cutlery. Small stuff but it adds up over the years.

Invest in an eco-friendly coffee travel mug. A lot of coffee shops like Starbucks serve their drinks in fully recyclable cups, but sometimes these are not recycled properly so it’s better to have your own. Some places even offer you money off if you bring your own mug.

Use long life bags for house shopping. This should be a norm now I think.

Using biodegradable everyday items instead of plastic options. These could be cleaning ware, natural fibres in furniture and clothes, swapping clean film for food containers or beeswax wraps and just overall using natural substances where you can. Reusing and recycling is key.

Buy loose fruit and veg as much as you can. You can save money by going to local markets and educate your little ones (if you have any) about the importance of supporting local farmers and businesses.

If meat or dairy is in your diet, go to local butchers or farmers’ market and get fresh food packed in your own containers.

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I also did some blog posts on waste reduced food shopping and some Beauty Product Swaps that might be of use.

Another thing to consider is how you commute. Public transport is a great alternative to commuting privately, whether going around the country or travelling abroad. This is something I’m currently struggling with as I love to travel. Abroad is not much of a problem as I normally depend on public transport and walk or hike, but in the UK I take my car on way too many road trips.

As a personal choice I have also decided to go on a vegan diet and have been following it as best as I can for over 2 years. By going veggie I’m reducing individual impact on:

Agricultural pollution as animal waste pollutes waterways all over the world (which ends up in our oceans).

CO2 and methane emission from land use and livestock production.

Water use e.g.: it takes 13,000l-100,000l of water to produce a kilo of beef and only 1,000l-2,000l to produce kilo of wheat.

Not consuming fish impacts on life cycle of oceans. Oceans help absorb CO2 and they also hold one of the most important organisms on the planet, the phytoplankton. These little guys are responsible of absorption of most CO2 from the atmosphere and producing 2/3rds of the oxygen we breathe in.

There are many other reasons why I believe a plant based diet helps to reduce pollution and impact on the climate change crisis, but I think this is personal choice and this topic has been covered quite well by media already with plenty of evidence supporting it.

If you haven’t already started on being more environmentally aware, I really hope that you get inspired to take small actions and then see for yourself that little changes can have a big impact on pollution, plastic waste and global warming. Just because you are one person making that change, it doesn’t mean you are alone in this. Awareness is growing and more people are trying. With a new year around the corner, this could be a perfect challenged to take on for 2020. We can all be a part of this greater movement if we just try a little.

“There is no planet B. We have to take care of the one we have.”

________ Richard Branson ________