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#I also like needing to count many small objects
fuitgummybat · 4 months
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quick!! What's your favorite vampire trope
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Oohhh I love vr but Man Does It Make Me Nauseous
#vr is so so so cool#i love it so much it and I cannot wait to see it get better#I’ve had a vr headset for maybe 3 or 4 years???#so it’s pretty old. and it’s an htc vive#objectively it’s a pain to use but I do love it#graphics r not good got a pretty heavy tether and also the tracking#god the tracking. that is the cause of my nausea#when my hands float away it’s annoying#when my head floats away??? with me inside??? i gotta close my eyes real fast or it’s game over#I’d say maybe I’ve just moved cross country with the cameras too many times but I don’t think the tracking was ever good#I’d like to get a new headset. and also full body tracking#but that costs money that I don’t wanna spend#I’m also not for sure what headset id get? I want nothing to do with oculus/meta I know that#maybe I’ll wait and see if pico 4 ever gets released in the us#I’d play vr so much more if my headset didn’t drain the life out of me#my back hurts sooo bad rn. to be fair I was standing for like 5 hours straight and I stand weird#that’s a me problem not the headset. i play vr and I’m like hm yeah I’m gonna need some mint ginger tea for my inevitable nausea#also I can’t count how many times I hit the wall lol#small room problems ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#i think if my tracking issues were solved and I had access to better graphics I might live in vr#i really wanna look at aincrad in vr chat but ooh too much nausea#so instead I’m playing the last clockwinder which. quite frankly? the best vr game of all time for me#I’m going to personally snap something in half the next time I see a luftapple but it’s a wonderful game#the voice acting is top notch and I’m not saying that out of favoritism#also I love puzzles (not the luftapples tho I hate those things)#and the cute little robots!! straight up almost cried when I saw the whale. storyline good. storyline makes me cry over a whale robot#if you have access to vr the last clockwinder is the best game you can have trust me on this. go get it#soup talks
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ilovepedro · 4 months
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mistletoe kisses | joel miller x f!reader
Main masterlist
Rating: M - 18+ MDNI
Word count: ~2.6k
Summary: You decorate the Christmas tree with some help from Joel and Ellie.
Warnings: established relationship, post-outbreak, Jackson era, canon divergent bc nothing bad ever happens to them ever 😁, sickening fluff, pet names (honey, darlin’, baby, babydoll, etc), allusions to smut, no mention of hair type/skin color/body type, NO USE OF Y/N.
A/N: surprise!!! i know i said this would be up on the 22nd, but i’ve got something else that will be up on saturday 🤭 and i just couldn’t stop thinking about giving this man a happy ending, including healing and starting new traditions with his family 😔 i wish joel was real 💔 anyway, i hope y’all enjoy! not beta’d, all mistakes are my own. 🏃‍♀️
Divider by @/saradika
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Grumbling, he treks behind you, snow crunching beneath his work boots as he cautiously lugs the saw in his hands.
You’re rambling about finding the perfect tree in front of him, Ellie asking a million questions about the tradition.
He hadn’t expected, intended, to find a partner in Jackson. That is until he saw you, lugging a heavy crate of harvested crops across the town, your wagon having been broken. Tommy had told him about you, how you were single.
“She’s sweet as pie, brother. She might be good for you. Real pretty too.” Joel recalls the conversation he had with Tommy before he stormed off to the barn.
His Southern hospitality lay dormant until he saw you struggling. The urge to help creeped up on him. His typical quite observant demeanor tossed out the window as he approached you.
“Need some help?” He asks.
You wipe your brow, huffing before laying your eyes on the broad, handsomely rugged man in front of you - it’s Tommy’s brother. His name escaping you briefly.
You beam. “Oh. Sure. Thank you…” you trail off, slightly off guard by his kind gesture. His large gloved hand extends out towards you.
“Joel,” he finishes your sentence. “Thank you, Joel,” your hand shaking his, giving him your name. It rolls off his tongue with a certain sweetness, sending a flurry of butterflies to swirl in your belly. You knew of him, but knew he was also not a man of many words. You had yet to make acquaintances with him and who you assume is his daughter.
“You’re Tommy’s brother right?” You curiously ask, attempting to make small talk as Joel grunts while picking up the crate.
“Yes ma’am.”
Smiling at his Southern drawl, you run to help him carry one side of the heavy crate, feeling bad letting him do all the work.
“Uh uh, what do you think you’re doin’?” He asks, brow raised as you both stop in your tracks. “Helping you,” you state. He chuckles, shaking his head as he begins to walk.
“I asked if you needed help, darlin’. ‘Sides, what kinda man would I be letting a pretty girl like you carry all this shit by herself? My momma would have me by the head, ‘s for damn sure.”
You open your mouth to detest the notion that women need any assistance from men, but he stops you before you can.
“‘N I know ya don’t need any help from any man. You women are tough as shit, met a lota you over the years. Jus’ wanna help, ‘s all.” He kindly explains. You don’t understand why he wants to help, why he’s approached you specifically.
You’re aware that he’s typically very reserved, not leaving his house if he doesn’t have to. You’ve heard things about his past, and Tommy having confided in you at times, but the world has gone to shit. Who are you to judge? Everyone’s done some horrible stuff to stay alive.
He’s also painfully handsome. Opting to not object to his help and company, you sigh.
“Well, at least let me take some of the vegetables,” you protest, grabbing bunches of carrots. He chuckles quietly.
“Sure thing, darlin’,” he mutters. The nickname catching you both by surprise as a sort of tension falls over you two.
Flashing him a grateful toothy grin, you gather the vegetables in your arms. He gives you a small smirk in return.
“So how are you liking Jackson? I don’t see you ‘round much,” you ask as you begin the trek to the dining hall.
“‘S good. Big change, learnin’ the ropes of patrol. Makin’ sure Ellie’s settlin’ in,” he states. “And Ellie’s…”
“My family,” he says firmly. You nod, internally assuming she’s not his biological daughter.
“Well, I hope you both settle in nicely.” He feels his heart soften at your kindness.
He thought you’d have shied away from him, that you’d have listened to what people are saying about him around town.
But you didn’t. You took to him kindly, warmly.
He’ll be damned if he told Tommy he was right about you, He’d never hear the end of it… but shit, was he right. You were so kind and open-minded, and so beautiful.
The both of you making small talk as you trek to the dining hall, Joel lugging the crate into the kitchen for prep as you follow behind. He places the crate on the floor with a grunt. You drop the carrots in the box afterwards.
Rising to his feet, he sighs as he wipes his hands on his jeans, you copying his actions.
“Thank you again, Joel. I really appreciate it,” you tell him again. “Ain’t no problem, darlin’.”
Silence fills the air, save for the clanging and clattering of utensils in the kitchen.
“Would you… would you like to have a drink sometime? As a, uh, form of repayment for helping me today,” you timidly ask. A small smile breaks out onto Joel’s face.
“You ain’t gotta repay me, darlin’. But I’d love to grab a drink with ya,” he says.
Smiling from ear to ear, you nod happily. “It’s a date,” you say, before slapping a hand over your mouth as your eyes go wide. “I-I’m sorry. It’s not a date, it doesn't have to be. I mean, u-unless you want-,” you nervously ramble before Joel cuts you off.
“‘S a date,” he rasps. A soft smile on both your faces. The rest is history.
He wouldn’t trade that moment for the world, as he’s got you by his side now. He just didn’t expect that drink to lead him to trudging through the woods in the freezing early morning to cut down a tree.
He’d much rather be sleeping right now on his day off, but he can never say no to his girls.
Making your way through the woods, you and Ellie wind through the path while Joel stands and watches. There aren’t many trees, but just enough to scour from.
Not seeing any you like, you continue to walk down the path. “What about this one?” Ellie asks, standing next to a fir no taller than Joel.
Your eyes light up, a sparkly smile illuminating your face.
“It’s perfect. Great find, Ellie!” You yelp, high fiving the girl who’s equally excited.
“Hey, Joel!” Ellie shouts through her hands, her cheeks rosy and nose frosted. He clambers through the trees, saw in hand with his signature scowl. “Find one?”
“Mhmm,” Ellie says while beaming, you nodding in agreement. Joel sighs as he begins to saw down the tree. The trunk’s not very thick, the branches skinny, but still full enough to mimick the times before.
It falls to the snow covered ground, you and Ellie taking a few steps back. Joel stomps over to it, hoisting it up over his shoulder.
“Thank you, honey,” you whisper against his ear before placing a kiss on his patchy beard. His body flushing hot red from heat despite the cold air.
“Sure thing, baby,” he says bashfully, smiling a smile only reserved for you. Lacing his fingers with yours, you walk hand-in-hand back to the house with Ellie rambling ahead of you, vibrating with excitement.
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“Joel, could you move it a little to the left?” You ask, hands clasped together over your lips. Joel grunts, red in the face as he shoves the fir to the left.
“A little more, please?”
Another grunt.
“A liiiitttllleee more.”
With a sigh, he shoves it once more.
“Perfect!” You clap. Joel rises to his full height, groaning as his bones crack and ache. You stride to him, leaning in for a kiss.
He could never stay annoyed at you.
“Thank you, honey,” you mutter with a dopey grin. Joel mirrors your expression, wrapping his hands around your waist and pressing his lips against yours. A saccharine kiss, your fingers curling in his grays.
His heart flutters as you sigh into him, your contentment radiating through your chest and into his soul.
When the fuck did his heart ever flutter?
“You guys gonna do that all fucking day or what?!” Ellie shouts, cutting ribbon and twine for the decorations.
You both startle at the sound of her voice, jumping in Joel’s arms. Joel glares at Ellie as laughter bubbles over your lips.
“Sorry, Ellie,” you call out. “Seriously, thank you, honey,” you tell Joel with a pat on his broad chest.
“No problem, darlin’,” he says softly with a swift kiss to your forehead before releasing you from his grasp. Joel strides into the kitchen to heat up some milk, with you rushing over to Ellie who sits at the dining table with an array of supplies.
You’re so good with Ellie, so patient with her while gently explaining how to string the dried oranges on the twine. She gets the hang of it pretty easily, holding it up and beaming with pride. Your giddiness mirroring hers, praising her as you waltz into the kitchen with Joel.
Placing a chaste kiss to his cheek, you flit around him as you pop some kernels in a hot pan. Transforming them into popcorn to make more garlands, and working in comfortable silence alongside each other.
You dump the popcorn into a bowl, you place a tender kiss on his shoulder before returning to Ellie.
Joel feels warm, and it’s not from the heat of the stove.
He preps mugs of hot chocolate for all of you, the chocolate powder stale but still good - the novelty of the gesture still there and just as sweet.
Padding into the living room, the sight of you two making decorations at the table and placing them on the tree tugs at Joel’s heart strings. Remembering how he’d help Sarah decorate their tree every year. Swallowing his grief, he allows himself to enjoy this moment while remembering his daughter.
That’s something you’re teaching him - not to take moments, things, people for granted.
Despite the pain, he knows he’ll confide in you later tonight about it when you’re alone. He sets the mugs on the table, making you pop your head up to flash him a dazzling smile.
“Thank you, honey.”
“‘Course, baby,” he says with a wink. Your smile grows wider, Ellie looking up and rolling her eyes. She playfully gags, Joel smacking his lips as his smile morphs into a scowl.
“Knock it off, kid,” he scolds.
“You knock it off, old man. We’re working here, and you keep distracting my partner,” she retorts. He scoffs, rolling his eyes. You can’t help, but laugh at their banter.
“Sorry, Ellie. I promise I’m listening,” your laughter dissolving into giggles. Joel rolls his eyes before getting a fire going in the fireplace.
Standing back and taking in the scene playing out in front of him. Hot chocolate, a tree, decorations being strung upon it - how is this possible? What did he do to deserve this?
He shakes the thought from his head, not questioning the good thing – the very good thing – in front of him. Instead, he enjoys watching his girls flit around the tree.
Ellie excitedly attempts to place the makeshift star on the tree that she crafted out of some stray branches and extra paper she had in her sketch pad.
She can’t reach, being significantly shorter than the tree. Huffing in defeat, she shoots you a look - both of you thinking the same thing. She whips around, paper star in hand.
“Joel, wanna do the honors?” She asks, holding out the star. Joel swallows thickly, never having thought he’d be doing this again.
“Sure,” he softly says, taking the star from Ellie and setting it atop the tree. The three of you stand back, admiring your hard work in silence, as you tightly wrap your arms around Joel’s middle. He holds you tighter.
“Looks good,” he mumbles. You nod, soft smile on your face.
“Hell yeah, it does!” Ellie giddily yells before cutting off her next thought. “No way, is that hot chocolate?!” She shouts, rushing to the table to grab a mug.
“Yeah, careful kid, it’s still hot,” Joel warns, still wound up in your arms. Ellie blows caution to the wind as she gulps it down.
“Ellie, slow down! You’re gonna get a stomachache,” you scold lightly. “It’s hot chocolate! When the hell am I ever gonna come across this again?!”
“I’ll find some more, jus’ slow down! Gonna be all fuckin’ hopped up on sugar,” Joel begrudgingly says. Rolling her eyes, she glances at the clock. Her eyes bug out of her head.
“Shit! I told Cat I’d meet her at 6!” She shouts before gulping down the rest of her hot chocolate, slamming the mug on the table.
“Be back later!” She says, slinging her backpack over her shoulder.
“Be back by 9!” Joel shouts. “Mhmm,” her tone dismissive. “I mean it, Ellie,” he warns.
“Sure thing, old man!” She says before reaching for the doorknob. “Ellie, 9 o’clock, okay?” You chime in, asking.
She turns around, taking in the both of you. “Okay,” she says with another roll of her eyes and an exasperated sigh before heading out the door. It slams shut, making you and Joel wince.
Joel rolls his eyes. “Girl don’t listen,” rubbing his face as he grumbles.
“She’s just excited, can you blame her? Besides, she’s safe here, Joel,” you say, comfortingly rubbing your hands up and down his broad flannel-covered chest.
“I know. Just still getting used to all this,” he rasps. The two of you still stand in the doorway, wrapped up in one another before a grin breaks out on your face.
“Oh, could you help me with one more thing?” You beam at him. His brow quirks up in confusion. “‘Course, baby. What do ya need?”
You unravel yourself from his embrace, padding into the kitchen. He hears you clambering, his curiosity peaking. You return with something behind your back, smiling wider now.
Whipping the sprig of mistletoe from behind your back, you hold it above your head. His features softening.
Joel immediately recognizes what you’re holding, beaming at your antics.
“Could you help me hang this up please?” You ask, drawing out the last syllable, batting your lashes at him with a sly smirk.
“Y’know, if ya wanted a kiss, all ya gotta do is ask, babydoll,” he rasps as he takes it from you, not missing the chance to place a teasing kiss on your cheek. Waves of heat run through you from head to toe.
Joel hangs the mistletoe with ease on a nail that’s been conveniently placed above the kitchen entryway, right where you’re both standing.
You must’ve put it up there when he was on patrol a few days ago.
The red ribbon you tied around the plant stands out against the dark framing, the fire crackles in the background and illuminates the house.
“Well would ya look at that,” his voice low and husky as he locks his gaze with yours. A goofy grin on your face. “Huh. Guess you gotta kiss me now.”
“Don’t need mistletoe for that, babydoll,” he whispers. The two of you connect your lips with each other’s. Sighing into him, you finally have a moment alone with him today. You card your fingers through his hair, a satisfied groan escapes him.
You pull away breathlessly, both yours and Joel’s eyes heavy and glazed over.
“Ya know… Ellie won’t be back til 9. We’ve got some time left,” you teasingly whisper in his ear while he places a kiss to your neck.
“Lead the way, darlin,” he rasps, the two of you rushing upstairs.
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just felt like writing some tooth rotting fluff for my Joely, i love him sm 😔
i hope y’all enjoyed! 🫶🏼 thank you for reading 🩷
tag list: @gracieheartspedro @sapphic-gardn @undrthelights @javierpena-inatacvest @nostalxgic @party-hearses @mandoisapunk @tinygarbage @bastardmandennis @janaispunk @persephone-girl @harriedandharassed @its-nebuleuse
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evanpeterswhoresblog · 10 months
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A Different Kind of High
Tate Langdon x f!reader
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warnings: use of marijuana, smut, p in v, unprotected, slight fingering, lose of virginity, slight innocence kink? lmk if there’s any others!!!
summary: you died a virgin, but that doesn’t mean you need to be one as a ghost…
word count: 1.9k
~~~
“I stole some weed from the newbies, you want some?” Tate asks as he hops up on what used to be your bed.
You’ve been dead for only a few months, living in the imfamous Murder House for a year prior. It was strange being dead, seeing people pass by on the street everyday knowing that’ll never be you again. You suppose this was what you deserved, after all you committed suicide. But never during your life did you think this was what being dead would be like. Trapped in a house with a dozen other ghosts for eternity.
Tate has been your friend since before you died, of course you didn’t know he was a ghost until you joined him on the other side. He’s charming, very down to Earth. You really don’t know much about him, even now. You’ve heard whispers about him being crazy, and you believe it. Sometimes through the night you hear his screams, his murderous laughter. It doesn’t bother you though. You’re already dead, what’s the worst he could do?
“I’ve never smoked before,” you reply.
He chuckles. “Are you serious?”
You turn red. “You saw my parents, they never let me do anything. When I used to go out they’d make me be back by nine. Even on weekends. I always figured they’d know so I didn’t bother.”
“At least tell me you’ve drank.” You shake your head, a small laugh escaping at the face Tate makes. “Have you done anything?”
“I kissed a boy when I was twelve,” you answer honestly.
“Was that your only kiss?”
“Yeah…” You mumble.
“Wow, I can’t believe you’re this innocent, I always thought girls with strict parents did the dirtiest things,” he replies. He grabs the baggie of weed out of his pocket and holds it up. “You’re going to try this, and you’re going to love it.”
You don’t object, and instead watch as Tate begins to role a joint. He does it effortlessly, he’s done it many times before. You know from previous conversations that he’s done drugs much stronger than weed, the main one being cocaine. You had asked him how it felt to do it, to be alive and on a drug so strong. He told you it felt like he needed to run a mile while he was high. He also made you promise to do it with him one day.
When he finishes rolling the joint he offers it to you. “You want the first hit?”
“Fuck it, yeah,” you say.
He gives you a smile that makes butterflies swirl in your stomach. Though the two of you are only friends, you can’t deny how attractive Tate is. Even though everythings only been platonic, sometimes with certain looks and phrases, he makes you feel some special type of way.
You take the joint inbetween your lips, your eyes locked on Tate. He grabs a lighter and lifts it to the other end of the joint.
“I’d usually say take a small hit, but usually it takes a little more to get us high so take as much as you think is necessary,” he explains before lighting the end.
You inhale deeply, the smoke it hot and you know if you were alive it would burn your lungs completely. Thankfully though, it only stings a little. After a few seconds Tate takes it from your lips and you exhale slowly, watching as he repeats your actions. You lean back against the pillows, you feel a little something.
“How long does it usually take to get high?” You ask.
“I dunno a few minutes I guess, why? Do you feel it?”
Your head feels light and the room looks brighter. “I think so, I feel… lighter.”
“Oh yeah, you’re high,” he replies with a laugh.
He lays beside you on the bed, both of you staring at the ceiling in silence. You hear him take a few more puffs of the joint, wondering how he does’t feel anything yet. Your whole body feels electrified, every muscle alive and thriving. You almost feel like how you did before you died, almost. It makes you smile.
“Why did I never try this before…” you mumble, a small laugh leaving your lips. “Fuck I feel good.”
“I know right, it’s pretty great.”
You turn your head and stare at him. “Can I tell you a secret?”
He meets your gaze. “Of course.”
You don’t know where the sudden burst of honesty comes from. Usually, you’re embarrassed to talk about anything you did or more specifically didn’t do in your life. However, as you stare into Tate’s dark eyes you feel the urge to tell him every little detail about you.
“I died a virgin,” you whisper. “Like I never even got fingered or anything.”
You stare at each other for another few seconds before you both burst out into laughter. You don’t know why it’s so funny, but it is. You feel amazing, like you’re on top of the world. But you also feel like every word that comes out of your mouth is hilarious.
“I shouldn’t have said that I’m sorry,” you say as the laughter dies down. “I’m so stupid.”
“Hey, you aren’t stupid. I know a few other ghosts died virgins, like the nurses,” he replies, that stupid smirk on his face.
“God don’t say that!” You exclaim. “At least they chose to die virgins, I tried to hard to be fucked before I died but every time I started to become interested in someone my stupid parents ruined it.”
Tate props his head up on his hand so he’s now looking down at you. “Well on the brightside your parents are gone now so you can fuck anyone you want.”
“Yeah but the options aren’t exactly ideal. There’s really only Travis, but he’d definitely not be the best option for a first time,” you laugh.
“I’m here too you know.”
“What do you mean?” You ask.
“You know what I mean,” Tate answers, his voice quieter than before.
Your laughter stops at his words, and you meet his eyes once again. This time, you can sense something lingering behind his eyes, something you haven’t ever noticed before. You smile, trying to ease the tension that’s filled the room. He’s probably just messing with you. However, he doesn’t smile back at you, his expression stays the same.
You’re in disbelief. Is this real? Is your best friend really telling you he’d take your virginity? This can’t be real, you think. Maybe it’s just because of the weed, maybe it’s doing something to your head. You can’t deny the butterflies that form in your stomach at the thought of it though. Tate would be a good first. He’s experienced, but not with too many people. You find yourself suddenly imaging it, how it would feel, sharing that experience with someone you truly enjoy being around. It wouldn’t be so bad, you decide.
“All right,” You say. You kick your shoes off without breaking eye contact. “Is it going to hurt?”
He smirks and follows your actions. “It usually does the first time.”
You smile and start undoing the buttons on your jeans. You know if you hadn’t taken that puff of the joint you’d be selfconcious getting undressed in front of Tate. He watches you carefully as you remove your pants, your shirt, even your bra. It’s silent, but not an awkward silence, more of a comforting silence. You only look away from him as you slowly pull your panties off and throw them into the newly formed pile of your clothes.
It’s your turn to watch now. Your eyes trail up and down Tate’s body as he slowly undresses. He’s so beautiful, his body is perfect. You can’t stop yourself from reaching over and running your fingertips over the toned muscles of his abdomen. Your eyes meet once again and you almost shiver at how full his eyes have become with lust.
Quickly, he leans his head down and connects your lips to his. The kiss is slow at first, like you’re treading the water. But as you start to understand how it works, you move your lips against his, following his motions. The soft gentle kiss becomes full of passion. You twirl your fingers in his soft blond curls, loving the way his breathing gets heavier as you do so.
He moves on top of you, hit body fitting between your legs swiftly. Your body feels like it’s on fire, your skin feels like it needs to be touched. Tate rests one of his hands beside your head and the other begins to slide down your chest, your stomach, till it reaches the place it was searching for. You feel him smile into the kiss.
“So excited already…” he mumbles.
His fingers run between your folds, collecting the wetness that’s already begun to drip out of you. He circles them on your clit for a few minutes, making you moan from the new but amazing feeling. After that he slides his pointer finger down to your entrance.
“Is this okay?” He asks.
“Yes, thank you.”
“Thank you?” He chuckles. He begins to slowly push his finger inside you and you grab his free arm.
“Thank you for doing this,” you clarify.
“I like how innocent you are, but I can’t lie I’ve always dreamt of being the one to rip that innocence away,” he whispers.
Before you can reply he lowers his head to your neck and begins to leave sloppy kisses along your skin. You can’t believe this is really happening. Once his finger is fully inside you, he starts to thrust it in and out at a slow pace. You moan, your back arching off the matress. He continues this for a few minutes before adding a second, preparing you perfectly for what’s going to come next.
He kisses down your chest until he’s at your breasts. He sucks and licks your nipples, it feels amazing. You can’t take it any longer, you need him. You grab his chin and connect your lips. He kisses you harder than before, biting and sucking your tongue into his mouth. You love it. You can’t get enough of it.
“I’m ready Tate,” you say breathlessly as your lips part. “I want to do it.”
“All right.” He pulls his fingers out of you and you watch him position his hard dick on your entrance. He looks down at you, brushing a piece of hair away from your face. “If it hurts to bad just tell me and I’ll stop okay?”
You nod, and before you can say anything else he starts to move. It hurts, but not too bad. Tate kisses you as he does this, it makes the pain more bearable. You wrap one of your hands around his back, your nails slowly dragging across the skin of Tate’s back. He only kisses you harder. His thrusts are slow, but your thighs still clench around his hips.
After a few minutes he asks if he can go faster, you tell him yes. The pain slowly morphed into a small pleasure that you enjoy. You continue to claw at his back, even more as his pace inscreases. You’re out of breath, the only sounds in the room being your moans along with Tate’s heavy breathing. It’s pure bliss.
The end comes faster than you want, but you don’t mind. You love the way Tate whispers your name as he cums, and how strongly his dick pulses inside you. You hold him close after it’s over, his skin against yours makes you feel alive again.
“Was it okay?” he asks as he lays on you.
“It was perfect,” you answer.
And so it was.
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bucks-babe · 4 months
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Munch
Pairing: Virgin!Bucky x f!reader
Summary: Bucky gets his first taste
Warnings: Angst in the beginning (mentions of Hydra and potential abuse), smut (oral f!receiving, fingering), Bucky humps the bed, sub!bucky, mommy kink ( I don’t know what came over me), aftercare, slight overstimulation, no use of Y/N
Word Count: 2.3k
A/N: Not me disappearing. Oops. Special thanks to @bucknastysbabe for proof reading and edits. Part of the Virgin!Bucky series of one shots but can be read alone
Next to you in bed, Bucky was twisting and turning. He agreed for you to sleep over in his room after this week's movie night. Ever since the night you both ‘watched’ When Harry Met Sally, Bucky had been acting weirdly. At first you thought that maybe he was just embarrassed; it was his first sexual experience after all. But he hasn’t looked you in the eyes for more than three seconds before blushing and turning away. 
It had been almost two weeks since that night, and now you’re starting to get worried that you pushed him too far. What if he wasn’t ready for you to see him like that? What if he didn’t want you to touch him but he didn’t want to hurt your feelings by saying no? Did you violate his trust? You worked so hard to get him to trust you, to be the person he can always turn to.
You wouldn’t be able to live with yourself if you forced his hand. After so many years of not having any choices, or any control of his body, maybe Bucky got used to seeing himself as a toy, an object to be used and not as his own being, entitled to saying no if he didn’t want something. “Did I do something, Buck?” It comes out as a whisper, but he catches it with his super hearing.
Bucky’s entire body freezes. “No,” is all he says, looking up at the ceiling in the dark. He doesn’t know how to stay still around you. Not when his brain is replaying the events from a few weeks ago, happened in the very same bed he is laying in. How fucking good you made him feel, how pretty you looked, and how he’s been fucking himself almost every night since, dreaming about you. 
Bucky has no idea that you think you’ve pushed him too far. If anything, he wants more. He wants you to blow him again, wants to eat you out, and above all, he wants you to take his virginity. He craves for you to be his first and only, to corrupt him, show him every dirty thing possible, teach him how to fuck. But he doesn’t know how to ask for it.
“Is this about what happened a few weeks ago? I need you to tell me if I crossed a line and made you feel like you had to say yes.” You need to know if you did something he didn’t want, make sure that he feels comfortable enough to set boundaries. You also don’t need to clarify what incident you are referring to. The two of you haven’t done anything near that intense since.
Bucky’s eyes widen and he flips onto his side to look at you, the light of the moon showing how glassy your eyes are. “No, Doll! I wanted that to happen, I promise! It’s not that.” With his metal hand, he pulls you into his chest, needing you close to him. He can’t believe you would think that he didn’t want you to suck his dick. Bucky chokes up a little at how much you care, not used to warmth and care for him as a person. 
Hydra cared about his physical health, making sure he was ready for the next battle, that he was strong enough to carry out his mission, not him, never him. You, on the other hand, are right here in his arms scared that you coerced him, because you care for him.
“Then what is it? I feel like I’ve done something. You’ve hardly looked at me these past two weeks.” You pull away enough to look him in the eyes, seeing his blush. 
“Oh, doll, this is so embarrassing.” You reach up and cup his face with your hands, silently encouraging him to proceed. “It’s not because I didn’t want you to,” his eyes leave yours, “you know.” A small chuckle leaves your lips at his shyness. “It’s because that’s all I’ve been thinking about, and more.” The end of his sentence comes off in a whisper, not intending for you to hear.
A weight comes off your chest and you laugh, much to Bucky’s chagrin. “Honey, that’s why you’ve been avoiding me?” At his frown, you kiss his nose, then his cheeks, before landing a chaste kiss to his pouting lips, giggling in between each peck. “You had me scared. And here you were just being a little horn dog.”
“It’s not funny.” Bucky buries his head into your neck while you continue to laugh; however, you feel his smile. After a minute he pops his head back up, “Okay, maybe it’s a little funny.”
You both laugh for a while until you remember his sly, ‘and more’ comment. You find his shyness adorable, but you want to corrupt this man, if he’ll let you of course, so you feel compelled to pry about his tiny admission. “What else were you thinking about doing? With me”
Bucky groans, face still buried in your neck. “What do you mean?” He decides to play coy, knowing that it won’t work. Your hand goes to his hair and you lightly tug on it, pulling his head up. A choked groan leaves Bucky’s lips and he grinds his hips against your stomach. At the look on your face, he feels like he could cum right there, and he feels such a deep and powerful urge to be good for you, to do whatever you want him to.
“I wanted to do what you did to me… on you.” His cheeks are as red as a tomato, and you feel your own arousal pool in your panties. Evidently, Bucky could smell your wetness as his eyes darkened.
“You wanna eat me out, honey? You wanna try to eat pussy for the first time?” You still have your grip on his hair, and you can feel how hard his cock is from where he’s grinding against you. He nods his head, only to have you pull on his hair, “Use your words like a big boy and tell me.”
“Yes, mommy. I wanna eat you out, but I don’t know how. I need mommy to teach me.” Your eyes widen at the title but Bucky doesn’t seem to realize, eyes foggy and mindlessly humping you. Poor baby had dropped headfirst into sub-land. 
“Don’t worry, honey, mommy will teach you. Such a good boy for using your words.” Bucky whines as you pull away from him to turn on the lamp on the bedside table, hips chasing any type of friction they can. “If you want to eat mommy out, honey, you have to let me move.”
 After turning the lamp on, you kneel on the bed, gesturing for Bucky to follow, which he does without hesitation. “Bucky, are you okay with this? I need to make sure this is something that you want.” You stop Bucky from laying you down when his only answer was a gentle, “Yes mommy.” You need him to be present when he consents and when you get him to look you in the eyes, see the fog behind his eyes clear up some, then you accept his consent, knowing that this is something that he is okay with.
You let him lay you down on the bed, with him in between your legs. “Take mommy’s clothes off, honey.” Immediately, Bucky goes to take your shorts off, taking your panties off with them, feeling the cool air hit your slick. You could feel your clit pulsing at the sight of Bucky right next to your cunt.
“Mommy, your pussy is so pretty. Can I lick it, please?” You don’t miss the way Bucky’s hips are rocking against the bed.
“Not yet, honey. First, I want you to use your hands, okay?” You could tell how excited he was, and how confused. “Touch mommy’s clit with your thumb.” He was a little over enthusiastic and was a little too hard, making you wince and your hips jerk, but you couldn’t blame him -  the poor thing was clueless. 
“A little lighter, just like that, good boy. Now rub it in circles, shit, uh huh.” Bucky was watching you like a fucking hawk, torn between watching your face contort or watching the way your clit was throbbing and slick was seeping out of your hole. He was salivating at the thought of having his first taste of you; your smell alone could have him cumming on command.
“Do you feel good, mommy?” He needed your confirmation. His cock was harder than ever pushed up against the bed. He knew that he should slow his hips down, but it was like he was watching the sexiest porno ever, eyes drawn to the slick leaving your pussy, how you were drenching the sheets underneath you.
“Feels so good, honey. Now I want you to use your index finger and put it inside real gentle.” Bucky was absolutely incredible at following directions and reading your body, seeing what you were responding to. “Curl your finger, fuck, good boy! Use your mouth now, on mommy’s clit.” Bucky whines, he wants to be your good boy so fucking bad.
At your direction, Bucky latches onto your pulsing clit, moaning at his first taste, and holy hell, Bucky feels his cock twitch and he knows he's about to cum. He flattens down on the bed, humping faster, his moans match yours in volume. Pride blossoms in his chest - he’s making you feel good. He’s being a good boy.
His balls pull up tight to his body, but Bucky cant fucking stop, and he cums in his boxers and all the way to the sheets. Ropes and ropes of his cum shoot out, but he’ll be fucking damned if he leaves your pussy. Every groan leaving him goes straight to your clit, and you’re reeling with pleasure. Men who had twice the experience than Bucky couldn’t give you half the pleasure he has.
He alternates between sucking and licking, watching to see which you like more,  bringing his other finger to your entrance, now using two fingers and his mouth, more feral than ever to pleasure you, all the while his hips are still rocking against the bed. “Keep going, just like that, Bucky.” There is no way that Bucky could stop now, not when he hasn’t seen you cum. He’s in his own world at this point, eyes closed, hips still grinding against the bed, listening to the way your pussy is sucking his fingers back in, feeling your thighs shake around him, fucking tasting your slick like it’s water.
Each time he moans into your pussy, he feels your walls clamp down on his fingers. Your hips start to chase his mouth, wanting more. “Bucky, I’m gonna cum! Please don’t stop! Make mommy cum!” Bucky wants you to cum more than anything, he needs it like its air.
He wants to speed up his ministrations, but he knows that’s not what you want. Instead he speeds his hips up, feeling his second orgasm building. His movements are much easier with the surplus of cum that’s already on the bed. Distantly, you hear the bed shaking with the force of his thrusts, but your orgasm is about to hit you and you can’t focus on anything. 
His free hand reaches up to grab you, grounding himself, desperate to make you cum before he does. He wants to beg and plead for you to cum but he can’t tear himself away from your cunt. If he could, Bucky would stay between your legs for the rest of his life. He can feel you pulsing around him and he knows you're going to cum soon.
When his eyes find yours it’s over for the both of you. You cum first, crying out his name, thighs clamping around his head, suffocating him. The sight of you cumming has Bucky finishing immediately. You look so fucking gorgeous, slight frown pulling at your lips, lines forming inbetween your eyebrows, it’s heaven on earth for him. His hips spasm and somehow even more cum than before bursts from his tip, making an even bigger mess.
Bucky doesn’t pull away from your pussy, he cant, it’s fucking addictive. He feels your slick running down to his wrist, and the taste of your cum is driving him insane. Only when you push him away does Bucky leave your pussy. “Did I do good, mommy?” He groans when he licks his fingers. Both of you are panting heavily, trying to catch your breath.
You pull him up and let him rest his head on your chest. “You did so good for me, I’m so proud of you, honey. You made mommy feel so good.” You feel how he relaxes into your chest, all the while you whisper to him, letting him know how good he was and how much you love him.
After a few minutes, Bucky begins to wiggle around, the cum in his boxers becoming uncomfortable. You have to move him, going to the bathroom and getting a damp cloth to clean him up with. “Honey, can I take your pants off and clean you up?” At his blush you add, “It’s okay, honey, mommy just wants to make you feel better, nothing to be embarrassed about.”
He lets you take his boxers off and you clean him off as gently as you can, trying to avoid the overstimulated tip of his cock. You throw his soiled underwear in the hamper and give him a new pair to put on. Climbing back into bed, Bucky goes straight to your chest, cuddling to you. “Go to bed, honey. Mommy’s right here.” Bucky falls asleep, feeling safe and protected in the arms of his best girl.
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kittyscupcakeandbunny · 5 months
Text
Crazy Over You x Min Yoongi
[HYBRID AU]
PART FIVE
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Bitter taste, Jealousy and bites.
Side Characters: Namjoon/doctor, Seokjin/doctor, Taehyung/Hybrid Tiger, Jungkook/Bunny Hybrid, Hoseok/assistant.
Warnings: Smut, mentions of blood, sharp objects, rut, beast behavior.
Word count: 8.5k
Genre: Fantasy, hybrids.
SUMMARY》 Yoongi is a black mamba hybrid one of rarest species of hybrids, who’s about to be put down due to his lack of interest in living. But everything changes after the new medical assistance (y/n) takes a liking to him. Meeting after meeting he realise his feelings for her are not the only thing growing.
< Previously Next Chapter >
……….
Everything went smoothly afterwards, by that would mean nothing eventful happened but things still needed more time to heal. I took Yoongi back to his mating room once the exams were done, after that he seemed tired and didn’t question much once we were there. I never seen him so exhausted before, the entire time he was going under the exams he looked nervous and I worried that it might have something to do with his past. He didn’t say anything till we got to his room and even after that he kept quiet.
I didn’t know what would happen to him now that he was free from Jin’s father, but it was a relief to know he wouldn’t have to put up with extreme tests anymore, he deserved that freedom and i knew he would have more rest from now on. Although i was happy for Yoongi i also couldn’t help but worry about the new hybrid Jin mentioned before, I was afraid he might end up like Yoongi did on his fathers hand, even now that Yoongi was some what free from him I couldn’t help but feel like things weren’t completely over.
I dedicated so many years of my life to this clinic, believing in Jin’s father as the director of this sanctuary a place were hybrids had a chance to make the rest of their lives better, a place where they could heal from their past and recover from their traumas. When I heard about Yoongis past I felt the ground under me fall, at first I couldn’t believe such happened here out of all places and everything we’ve done to help the hybrids. The truth was much harsh then I wanted to believe and I couldn’t help but worry more and more for the hybrids at the clinic, what if it Yoongi wasn’t the only one? What if there were more cases like this still happening?
I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if this carry on happening, I’ve taken care of hybrids for so many years they are beings just like us and deserve to be treated fairly. Yet things like this still happen, it wasn’t of my nature to simply let things go as much as I have to focus on Yoongis situation for now, I wouldn’t let things slide that easily. Jin’s father doesn’t deserve to be the director of the clinic, I understand Jin and how hard it must be for him now especially since his own father it’s solid problem here but that doesn’t mean his dad can make those decisions without being held accountable for it, we manage to free Yoongi only because coincidentally another hybrid was there to take his place, what Yoongi went through could still happen to another hybrid and that wasn’t something i wanted to happen and I wouldn’t let it happen.
I made sure Yoongi was left resting and seeing as he went straight to sleep after getting in his room I knew I could leave and he would be fine for now. This week has been very stressful for Yoongi and I kept thinking if rushing with the exams on him wasn’t pushing him too much at this point, from the outside one seemed to be doing much better now but looks could lie when it came to your health and I worried for him more and more. All this time hes been under experiments cold have done some real damage to his body and we had to make sure he was fine - I had to know if he was fine.
Once I got in the small computer room I’m meet with Jin’s figure standing beside one of the assistants who sat on the chair while showing Jin the exams results, this would be my last stop for tonight it was already way past my work time and I had been in the clinic for the entire day to make sure Yoongi was fine after everything that happened. So much had happen today and my body was begging to go home now. I could feel the tiredness at every muscle.
- y/n come look at this - said Jin, once he notice my presence as I approached them.
As I stood beside him I looked up at the exams shown on the screens in front of me, there were two screens in which one showed Yoongis vitals in the moment the exam were taken and the other was a full body image scan from his internal structure and every muscle on his body.
- how is he? - I asked checking the screens.
- he is fine from what we can tell from the results - said the assistant whose name on the badge on his coat said “Jake” while looking up at me and Jin - he does not have any fractures or internal bruises.
- that’s good to know…
- although y/n, i think you should talk to him - Jin added, his eyes stared into mine with worry in that moment.
- why? - i asked noticing the look he shared with the assistant.
- tell her what you said to me - Jin leaned against the table crossing his arms over his chest.
Something seemed to be wrong and I knew it in that moment when Jin turned his gaze away from mine, worry began to boil over every cell on my body. Yoongi didn’t seemed to be okay the whole time during the exam and now that Jin has been acting strangely, I felt even more uneasy.
- well, if you look here y/n… - the assistant Jake said, pointing at the screen in front of him showing Yoongis body scan - you see this red waves of light on his body?
The screen showed Yoongis thermal image scan, commonly used to detect any differences or slight changes on the hybrids health since infrared emissions from a body are directly related to their temperature. From the looks of it his body seems to be emitting more heat then a normal hybrids should, I’ve never seen anything like that before.
- his body temperature seems pretty high, could it be fever? - I asked.
- in this case not exactly, you see the hints of pink around him? - i only nodded to him as he continued explaining, still not understanding what he meant with all that - this kind of waves are hormones and from the looks of it they kept coming back and forth bigger, in this scale it means the hybrid is under heat.
- what? - I exclaimed.
- i felt skeptical at first too, since you mentioned that he has no heat - Jin added, turning to look at me - but the exams tell otherwise.
- behavior exams would have to be taken if you want to make sure of it but, it is very clear in the scan that he is in heat - the assistant Jake affirmed.
- I understand… its just, why would he lie about it? - i held my forehead in contemplation, walking to the other side of the room I didn’t know what to do in this moment and as i turned to Jin feeling as lost as he seemed i knew were complicated now.
- maybe he.. he was trying to delay the mating process - Jin muttered.
I didn’t know how to feel in that moment, it was much clear that Yoongi has been lying this entire time about his heat and I couldn’t deny any of it. I was disappointed to know he’s been hiding that from me all this time, i felt a little betrayed even but I couldn’t blame him for hiding it from me as much as i hated to admit, Yoongi has been through a lot is natural that he wouldn’t trust so easily. The fact that he has been hiding his thought meant we couldn’t hold the proper care for him, he could be in much discomfort if not taken care of too.
I kept thinking about Jin’s words for the rest of the night, Yoongi had good reason for trying to delay the procedures since he’s been through much worst and i wondered if he thought it wasn’t just a get away to hurt him and for that reason he tried to delay the process, It was great to know that Yoongi was perfectly fine after all that hes been through but the fact that he was hiding from me his heat this whole time made me uneasy. It meant i was completely wrong this whole time about him, I couldn’t help but feel like a failed to notice something so crucial this whole time. I should’ve know it before anyone since i was the closest to him and now his actions so far had a complete different meaning especially since i knew the truth now.
Later as me and Jin were exiting the clinic he made sure to assure me he would be taking care of Yoongi tomorrow since i wasn’t going to be present, while telling me to rest for the big day on Monday we said our goodbyes.
My body was completely exhausted, once i got home all i could do was fall over the sofa tiredly and contemplate todays events even though all I wanted was to rest different from my body my mind simply couldn’t turn off. I couldn’t stop thinking about Yoongi, replying all of his behaviors in my head collecting every piece to put together the puzzle I didn’t when i was with him in the clinic. The more i thought about it the more guilty i felt, it was clear from the moment i saw him for the first time and yet it went right past me. I had been working with hybrids for so long that something like this shouldn’t go unnoticed by a doctor, i simply ignored all of the signals. Feeling even more embarrassed i had let myself wonder to the point i let him bite me and do even more after - why on earth would he do that if not from being under heat? - Yoongi wasn’t heaving bad side effects from the heat stimulants when he acted out and attacked someone, it was clear to me since he was actually in heat but I couldn’t picture why he acted that way to someone, if the heat stimulants were effecting him this whole time it would explain why he felt attracted to me - i still couldn’t understand why he would attack someone and i kept rethinking again and everything but nothing came to mind.
What was i suppose to do with this information now? Yoongi could be lying about more things to me and I wouldn’t even know. Jin did advise me into talking to him about it but how can I believe now?
As angry as i was with him now, i know he didn’t do it on purpose. He must have a reason for hiding things about himself, as Jin mentioned he must be trying to delay the mating process but I couldn’t help thinking there was more to it then it shows. I can’t blame him for that even if it makes me angry, i too am lying and hiding things from him - after all he was the victim here not me.
I still can’t believe how messy my emotions have become ever since i meet him, the more time i spent with him the more he captivated me in ways i never thought were possible. I never once felt this way about a hybrid before, it was never a problem treating them until a meet Yoongi. The snake hybrid i never even though to meet once was now under my care, more then that i manage to break the rules of the clinic because of him and the more I told myself I wouldn’t cross those lines again i simple failed miserably.
Looking back now i don’t really know what about him that makes my body burn in the best way possible but every time i was with him it felt like every cell on my body wanted to be close to him. I didn’t wanted to cross that line again if it meant hurting him.
i just had to do the right thing for now.
For the both of us.
[…]
Sunday went by so fast I didn’t really got much rest. I bearly had any sleep last night, kept thinking about Yoongi and an unsettling feeling was boiling up inside me the more i thought about today. Meeting Yoongi today shouldn’t be so hard after all i was his doctor but we crossed that line so many times our relationship was anything but a normal doctor and patient type of relationship anymore. I didn’t know were to stand in this i know i didn’t stoped myself from going over the lines and that led to the moment i was most afraid of, my emotions were everywhere torn into pieces and spread all over the floor. It felt like i was sinking alone in a boat. All my fear were washed away from my mind as soon as it as with Yoongi, everything made sense to me but as soon as i left his room I’m once again alone in that boat.
Trying to ignore those feelings were useless now, I can’t hide from him how i feel. I’ve been trying miserably to do that and it only got us both hurt, i wanted to tell him everything but that meant Alison telling him the truth about this whole process to begin with. It was selfish of me to think of that, what would he think of me once i tell him? I certainly don’t expect a hug from him, he would probably hate me. After everything i felt like I owed him the truth, he must think I’m playing with his feelings and since he is in heat all his senses were in a much higher frequency. To distract myself from the nervous feeling that runs down my whole body, i tried to think about my tasks for the day ahead of me useless as his lies were still stuck in my head.
The whole night i kept rethinking about the incident that led him into bitting another coworker at the clinic, I was afraid he hurt someone without a reason now that i knew he was hiding his heat and more than anything i feared it was because of me.
Hybrids in heat can get very dangerous sometimes, their instincts are at maximum speed going beyond any rational thought. If taken too lightly it can end up very messy - i took it much lightly that time by ignoring clear sings of heat all because it came from Yoongi - all this time I’ve been so caught up in my feelings for him I didn’t notice how much that would cost me. I’ve never had that problem before but Yoongi just had that hypnotic aura around him I didn’t even notice when it was too late. Questioning even more my capabilities as his doctor, maybe it was best if i took some time out of this.
I keep getting distracted by him every time I’m with him and that is costing us too much, maybe I’m not the right person to do this as Jin had believed. Certainly falling in love with his patient didn’t include in that faith.
The more that creeped into my mind the more stressed i felt, since today was the first step for the mating process i was already making my way to Yoongis mating room to encounter Jin there and from then carry on a quick check up on Yoongi before anything happens, the hybrids would meet for the first time today and all i could think about was the unsettling feeling inside my stomach.
While being free from the directors claws Yoongi would still proceed with the mating since Jin decided that carry on the mating process would be more beneficial for the hybrids as they would be able to meet someone just like themselves for the first time and have the opportunity to engage on their journey together. Now that we found out about Yoongis heat as well Jin thought it would be much better for him since things were escalating faster then he thought.
Hybrids have the natural need of a mate, it is more then sexual desire but a connection they can count on and protect. Hybrids without a mate often end up in severe depression and in very rare cases they might die of loneliness.
The importance of the mating process goes beyond continuing the species.
As I’m making my way through the white corridors of the seventh floor to Yoongis mating room I find Jin also going in the same direction, his attention fully on the papers he had at hands. I quickly matched up with him finally getting his reaction to my presence.
He gave me a small smile before turning to look ahead of us as we got closer to Yoongis room.
- how are you feeling about today? - he asks.
- nervous but.. excited for Yoongi - i tell him, trying my best to ignore the bitterness under my tongue.
- me too, i truly hope this goes well for him - he added, before signaling towards the door for Yoongis room.
I quickly made my way to opened for us inserting the code for it on the digital screen beside the door, it made a sound before opening completely and i walked in before Jin.
The lights were on a warmer tone then usual and the room temperature seemed more humid this time, aware of Yoongis presence lying down on his bed almost fully covered on the messy sheets of his nest if not for his dark hair you could bearly tell he was there, at out noisy entire he slowly began to get up. The view of his full figured instantly making my heart beat faster from both nervous and eagerness at the same time. Once I heard the sound of the door closing behind me as Jin took place beside me giving me a small smile of encouragement and I took a few breaths before approaching Yoongi on his bed as he slowly sit up staring at both Jin and i.
- hey Yoongi, i came to check your skin today, mind if i do? - i ask him softly, his eyes went from Jin to me before tiredly nodding.
It felt much different seeing him now I didn’t want to make this uncomfortable but something already felt wrong when i saw him today. It just seemed like the Yoongi i knew before wasn’t here anymore, i know it was him right there but something about him was different. Maybe it was just me and my point of view from him had changed since the exams came proving about his heat, all my internal monologues about his behavior and the fact that there was much more that he was hiding.
I can’t just make him tell me everything and that wasn’t what I wanted, what I wanted was for him to trust me but that wasn’t something you could force. It just bothers me how he didn’t trust me yet when I had all those feelings for him boiling inside me to the point i could feel the bitterness at the tip of my throat.
I watched as Yoongi got up not saying anything as he unbuttoned his white shirt to expose his scales, walking closer to me stopping a feet away in front of me while he did so. Aware of how he kept looking behind me at Jin, i could only wonder why he seemed to be so concerned about his presence every time he was around but, now that i know the truth about Jin’s father i can only assume is because he knows Jin’s the son of the men who did this to him.
Once he was done I started by examining the scales on his neck carefully moving the shirt away to enough uncover more of his skin, i was glad to see his neck scales seemed fine now moving on to the scales on his ribs the last time I checked them he had some deep scratches on them but now it seemed it had healed much more, Yoongi was recovering pretty fast that was good news at least.
I moved around him to check his back sliding the shirt down to expose the skin for my eyes, his back was the part we’re the most damage was done but now the marks of scratching were almost completely healed.
- your skin is in much better condition - i comment walking around to stand in front of him.
- that’s good to hear - Jin added, a smile on his face walking over to us to hand me Yoongis medicine.
- thanks Jin - i took the small container from his hands, ignoring the small mint our finger slightly brushed over each others.
Looking up to Yoongi as he seemed to sand daggers through his eyes at Jin, the tension was set in the room way before I had stared but now it was even thicker. Cleaning my throat to get his attention which worked as he now started into my eyes with his dark eye dark glossy ones.
- here this are supplements, you’ll take them for a while - i tell him while handing him the pills - since you just started eating again you’ll need this to help balance your diet.
He nodded taking the pills from my hand and swallowing them all at once.
- I’ll get you some water… - before i could take one step away from him he held my arm back, pulling me towards him.
- don’t need it - he murmured over my face, eyes looking for mine as I nervously looked anywhere but him.
It wasn’t too much but a single act could spike a different thought on Jin, i worried he would get things wrong or not so since it wasn’t a lie something was going on between me and Yoongi but now it wasn’t the time for that. His grip over my arm wasn’t too hard and that wasn’t what was making me even more nervous now, the fact that Jin was present there was. Usually Yoongi doesn’t go too far in front of someone else and it made me anxious that he had pulled me too close, the last thing i wanted was for anyone to find out about us. More especially, Jin.
- ok.. - i pushed him slightly away.
I didn’t know how to act in that moment, forcing myself to look up at Jin who just stood there looking at us questioning, he didn’t comment but I knew he catched something the moment our eyes met.
- just got a message from Namjoon he’s ready now, can we carry on? - Jin said.
I was thankful for the change of subject, if he would ask about it later I wasn’t so sure. Jin was more invested on Yoongis case now and from everything that has happened he wanted to get all the details from him to make sure we could treat him with anything he might need.
If Yoongi was showing signs of discomfort with someone we must separate them immediately and it is the opposite we need to know why to ensure his recovery. Being closed to people when you need to be taken care of is not the best scenario. I didn’t know if Jin was catching on it but I couldn’t bet on it to find out.
Yoongi was showing more signs of heat as his need for closure was growing more by now, i didn’t wanted to test how territorial he could get with Jin’s presence.
- oh, yes - I turned back to Yoongi - today is the first step of the mating process, we’ll introduce you to your… partner, soon she will be brought here is that okay with you?
We had everything set up already but asking him first was a safety measure, if one of the hybrids didn’t felt like they can go on to meet we need to cancel it immediately and then make sure they are able to carry on later.
He sighted loudly and then nodded, closing the buttons of his shirt impatiently.
It seemed I wasn’t the only bitter one about this. He wasn’t much happy about the mating from the moment he heard about it, I still didn’t know why thought. Yoongi was the first male hybrids I’ve ever treated who didn’t seem to want to mate, although the signs he needed that were clear and he could bearly hide them anymore, he kept his guard. In that thought I remember how he’s been lying about it, we still had much to talk about that but there wasn’t the right time for it so for now we just had to get over the first step of the mating process.
A grip on my hand made me stop on my tracks as I had turned to leave already, I looked over my shoulder seeing as Yoongi was standing right behind me. Turning completely to look at his face, his mouth opened and closed a few times and he looked down still holding my hand.
- are you going to watch this? - he murmured only for me to hear, his question catches me off guard, dark eyes looking behind me and I didn’t need to turn to know he was looking at the mirrored glass wall.
- I have to, is part of the process - i tell him honestly.
He nodded understanding, letting go of my hand. I give him a small smile before turning to leave.
Nothing much then both hybrids being introduced and having a time for themselves alone to get to know each other would happen now, although we didn’t know how Yoongi would react since his heat had already started. We don’t usually put hybrids in heat to mate but let them get to know each other before that happens to ensure their safety, since his case was very delicate we had no choice but to continue with the process.
Jin and I left his room as he massage Namjoon to confirm he could bring the female hybrid to the mating room, for the first steps of the mating process as their doctors we must watch over them as they meet for the first time and ensure they are okay while doing so. Anything could happen in that moment from good to worst case we should still be ready and prepared to assist the hybrids.
For that a small room was designed right beside his separate by the window, he couldn’t see us here only his own reflection.
Me and Jin quickly took our place there waiting for Namjoon to come, i could see Yoongi in the room through the glass window as he just stood there in the middle of his room were I had left him waiting.
Jin was walking from side to side looking at his phone from time to time he seemed nervous but excited at the same time, i wish i could share the same feeling but the more i waited for what was to happen the more bitterness seems to grow at the tip of my throat making me swallow hard multiple times.
It was so selfish of me to feel this way - I couldn’t only think of that - getting attached to a hybrid on this level wasn’t right especially for my position. I could only get hurt in the end. Yet here i stood, feeling my heart beating faster and faster as the minutes passed, stomach doing flips inside me.
The was the muffled sound of the door in the room opening but i didn’t look up, I was afraid to even look at it. Anxiously staring at floor instead, Jin moved beside me to get closer to the mirrored window thankfully not noticing my face. The sound of Namjoons voice on the other side of the wall filled the small room I was in as he entered the mating room with the female hybrid.
That was it, my heart clenches in my chest. Looking up finally to see his back turned to us as he faces Yoongi a few feet away from him and the presence of the female snake hybrid right beside Joon.
My eyes immediately turned to the female hybrid, it was the first time I saw her too the only thing I knew about here was that she wasn’t a black mamba like Yoongi but a python. No one knew if breeding two different snake species would work in their favor but snake hybrids were already difficult to find and there wasn’t much choice.
I could only see her from the back but I could tell she was much smaller then him, maybe a few inches shorter then me, she had long black hair that went down her hips and from the looks she had a very petit figure wearing the usual gray uniform from the clinic.
Namjoons voice filled my ears as he quickly introduced them to one another, none of the hybrids moving forward or saying anything as he speaks only. The introduction didn’t took much longer for my displeasure and once he was done with his he left the room, leaving both hybrids alone.
It seemed like the moment he closed that door to leave my insides were doing a roll back and forth like a roller coaster, all the air in my lungs were gone completely as i watched both hybrids through the glass wall, bottom lip harshly pressed against my teeth as if it would stop my stomach from doing flips.
They couldn’t see us here and i was glad, for once i felt like I would be able to hold my facial expressions as my whole world seemed to be falling apart. Voices deep down in my mind screaming even more, louder each time.
‘’you should be happy for him’’
‘’you don’t deserve him’’
‘’stop acting so selfish’’
I knew he would forget me completely once he meet the female hybrid, someone who’s just like him. She would be better to him then me, hybrids were made for each other not for humans. We were here to help them not use them, that hybrid would be able to complete him in a way I could never and can share with him the connection he needs. I should’ve knew better before, hybrids act on instinct completely when it comes to their heat. I should’ve know better before letting he take me in the bathtub, before he kissed me. I should’ve had set the lines between us, now is too late.
Watching as he was the first one to make a move and walk up to the female hybrid, heart clenching in my chest as he closed the distance between them completely, grabbing the female hybrids face to turn to the other side.
The air was punched out of my lungs at the sight of them, i wished i could just brushed it off and forget it already. But the sight of in front of me was the hard pill I had to swallow, specially once Yoongi leaves a lick over her cheek.
At that i found the strength to turn around, lucky for me no one notice my displeasure as i did so.
My bottom lip burned from biting to hard into it, the taste of blood wasn’t enough to cover the bitterness though. I didn’t wanted to look at it anymore, focusing on the white wall instead - so this is what is like to have your heart broken?
How can it even feel this bad?
From that point things happen much faster, like a rushed dream. I stared over Namjoon in front of me who was now watching both hybrids with a hard expression on his face, I couldn’t tell why as I didn’t have the strength to watch anymore.
- get out of here.
Yoongis mufled voice on the other side of the wall filled my ears, I felt a cold chill down my spine at the words. His voice was bitter full of displeasure, something I never heard before even when he clearly showed dislike towards the other doctor.
In that second Namjoons eyes turned to mine worried.
- we need to hurry there.
He didn’t have to say twice. I only nodded in agreement fallowing him out of the small room and rushing towards the mating room, something seemed to have desperately wrong while they were there. This was the reason why we had to stay by, anything can happen to the hybrids when they are alone.
The weight in my chest still present as i entered the mating room behind Namjoon and he didn’t hesitate to approach the female hybrid carefully, leading her out of there while muttering words of assurance to her.
I didn’t move at all, my feet wouldn’t let me and every time I looked at him that image popped in my mind but I shouldn’t just stand there this wasn’t the time to let my feelings get in the middle.
I waited until i was sure Namjoon had left with the female before saying anything, something had gone wrong between them already even though they didn’t share a single word, Yoongi had rejected the female hybrid.
- Yoongi, you okay? - i carefully walked to him.
- no… - he said, he had his back turned to me the whole time - i dont wanna do this…
I sighted looking at the floor. He never wanted in the first place, we only did what we thought was going to be the best for him due to the circumstances but it completely slipped out of my mind we had been ignoring his displeasure with the whole process.
- I know… and I’m sorry for not respecting your feelings against it - I muttered, walking towards him till I was close enough to his figure.
I didn’t know what to do, what would be safe to do in that moment. He had shown anger before and I didn’t know if he wouldn’t do the same to me but something about how his tone was lower now gave me the confidence to carefully i hold his hand in mine feeling his cold fingers intertwined with mine, my heart was instantly filled with relief. Watching as he turned around slowly to face me, I looked up into his dark eyes as with his other hand he reached to hold my chin between his fingers so carefully like a touch of feathers.
- i want you y/n, no one else - he whispered his confession over my lips - just you.
- Yoongi…
The words were completely stolen away from me just like my breath.
- please… - he took another step forward making me take another backwards - have my heat with me.
His words were making me feel dizzy, he continued to walk making me nervously take steps back. All air in my lungs were punched out of me.
Heat?
Why would he say such thing right now?
Why would he make me so flustered after licking someone else’s face?
I was completely unable of forming a single same thought in that moment, the heat rising up to my checks as he continued with that game until his words repeated so much in my head all I could think about was;
- you lied to me.
It came out breathlessly through my bloody lips, enough to stop him in his tracks once he had me caged between his body and his bad. Dark eyes locked into mine, the back of my knees touching the edge of the bed and in a breath of moment he simply pushed me over the it and a gasp left my lips, I look up at him now sitting in front of him as his lowers himself down between my legs on his knees.
- i did.. - he confesses, hands slowly reaching up to rest over my thighs - you lied too.
I wasn’t surprised to hear that, I knew he was aware of it.
- i don’t wanna lie anymore - i sighted, his hand held my chin to look at him - the truth is…
My words stopped him from leaning forward, he looked up from my lips to my eyes clearly not expecting me to continue but I had to. This conversation had to continue, I can’t hide things from him anymore.
-the person responsible for hurting you all this years set this process up, they wanted to take you down but not before…. - I paused, taking another breath before continuing looking down from his face to my hands over my lap - to make you reproduce another of your specie.
I don’t lie how much relief I felt after telling him, like a weight had left my chest. But no relief was enough to cover the pain of telling him the truth, the fear of losing him once he knows everything.
- I see… well, I expected that - he spat bitterly, getting up to leave.
That fear creeping inside my chest once again, I desperately held his hand before he could take another step.
- I couldn’t let them do that to you… - I tried to explain - that’s why I’ve been…
- that’s why you’ve been so kind to me? - he scoffed, pulling away from me - no wonder you’ve always been so against us being together.
- Yoongi…
- why don’t you go back to that Jin guy you like so much? - he spat.
When he took the first step away was filled by a an unsettling fear, I could no longer take this. I’ve been miserably trying to hide my feelings thinking this was the right the thing to do for him but now, after everything and seeing him go like that I couldn’t keep failing him.
- i said no more lies - I murmured holding his hand before he could walk away, pulling him closer till he was at the same height as my eyes - i.. i want to be with you too…
The words left my lips breathlessly, in that exact moment with him I realized I could no longer hide my feelings for him. I didn’t wanted to hurt him and keeping things from Yoongi all this time was the worst decision I made. So I took another deep breath as he kneeled down in font of me again, before I continued.
- the truth is, this whole time i was afraid - i tell him honestly - I didn’t know if any of this was right, when i first heard about your case I immediately knew i had to save you and now that i know everything i just… i dont wanna lose you Yoongi. I want you too.
At this point i was biting into my lower lip so hard to stop the tears from falling, looking anywhere but him right now. My face burned with shyness at my confession, it was too late to hide anything, too late to stop what we created when clearly none of us wants to.
I felt his hold on my chin again one arm closing around my waist as he pulled me in a hug. I held him tightly only realizing in that moment how badly I needed that, feeling his warm body against mine, all the bitterness from before completely melted away. As he pulled away from me enough only to look into my eyes, his lips brushing softly over my cheek i could feel a small smile forming over his lips.
- took you long enough… - he murmured against my cheek.
-Yoongi… - i groaned, feeling my eyes burn.
With those little words from him I knew everything was gonna be fine, as I rested my forehead against his feeling all the worries wash away from my mind as he softly caressed my jaw.
- mate with me y/n… - he murmured against my face softly - please, my whole body is burning for you if i don’t take you now I’m gonna go insane.
- but I’m human… I can’t - i said, nervously but he quickly cuts me off.
- that don’t mean anything to me, if you dont mind me as I’m - he said breathlessly, holding my chin to look into his dark glossy eyes.
- i don’t mind you at all…
- then… - he brushed his fingers softly over my jaw down my neck, pulling my shirt slightly down show more of the skin.
From the look in his eyes i knew exactly what he meant by that, i knew this was not the best choice to make in this moment but i didn’t wanted to stop him. I wanted him just as bad.
- you can bite me now….
I had no intention to deny it anymore how much I longed for Yoongi. All this time I’ve been helplessly trying to suppress my feelings for him, they only grew stronger. Now I can’t do that anymore, I don’t think I can ever see him again with someone else who isn’t me.
The words that left my lips seemed to initiate a fire in his dark eyes, I never seen before and just like a touch of a switch in a second he was a complete different him, burning desire under those glossy eyes stared right into mine before he finally claimed my lips between his.
A groan of pleasure raised from his chest vibrating through his whole body, pushing me back into the bed as he kneeled between my legs one hand beside my head to support his upper body.
He pulled away gently as he draws over my jaw with his fingers, my hands rested at my sides feeling my whole body melting at his touch. Eyes locked over his wet lips, he seemed to notice his effect over me chuckling softly before taking my bottom lip between his again this time sucking deliciously hard on it then pulling away once again, teasing me to his own pleasure.
- i taste blood on your lips…. - he murmured, I looked up to his eyes as he caressed said bottom lip.
- oh, sorry?
- why did you hurt yourself? - he asked, tracing down my jaw to my neck then sliding over my collar bones trespassing my shirt.
- I was…. nervous a guess… when I watched you guys…- my cheeks burned under his eyes, I could bearly form any sentences with his finger trailing down my chest.
- don’t do that again - he said, holding my chin up to look at his eyes - don’t hurt yourself because of me again.
- I won’t… i mean… no-
He cuts me off immediately with leaning down my lips to lick over my bottom lip, feeling his wet tongue over my lips were the end of me. All self control I thought I had were gone in that instant and pulling him even more closer to kiss him, finger closing between the back of his hair.
My own moan was engulfed by his groan against my lips as I claimed his tongue, kissing him hungrily.
I didn’t wanted that moment to end ever, to feel his hands rushing all over my body as our bodies bun with desire the need to feel each other growing at every second. In that moment nothing else mattered, it was just the two of us intertwined with each other, loving each other desperately how we’ve been yearning for.
I had no thoughts of a tomorrow, all I wanted was in this present moment. It never matter that he was a hybrid, I was attracted to him the moment my eyes fell over him. Knowing he was different, knowing everything and that he lied I still loved him. I still want him, for who he is no matter what.
Pulling his hair harder the moment he left my lips to leave kisses over my jaw, not trying to be careful anymore as he continued to leave love bite’s trailing down my neck.
- you’re mine.. - he whispers, kissing softly under my ear.
I closed my eyes harder feeling my whole body melt under him, holding into him tightly draining my face on his neck feeling his scales at the tip of my nose. A shaky breath leaving his lips in that moment and my entire body tingled at the knew erogenous spot I found on him, burning with excitement i begin to kiss softly over the scales on his neck feeling his breathing fastening above my skin.
A sentiment of accomplishment filled me encouraging me to be bolder and I carefully bit into his ear lobe, I didn’t know what I was doing and was immediately surprised when he held my arms above my head in a second after i bit him.
Looking up into his eyes as he leaned his forehead against mine completely breathless, cheeks red and sweat beginning to form on his skin. He seemed just as surprised.
- sorry… - I managed to mumble.
- no… I’ve never been bitten before, it’s so good… - he confessed.
- does it mean more to you? - I asked, still confused and hot under him.
He only nodded over me a smirk forming on his lips. My cheeks instantly turned red.
- means the same for when I bite you… - he murmured - you’re mating with me… you’re accepting me.
- Yoongi… - I free from his hold over my hands to close my arms around his neck pulling him closer to me - I’ll always accept you.
Claiming his lips with mine again, this time i could feel all his body melt above mine with all his worries washing off of him in that moment.
If only I could froze this moment with him and stay in here forever, maybe then I wouldn’t have to worry about tomorrow so much. If we would ever be able to be together like again.
Bold of me to assume this wouldn’t have any consequences, bold of me to let myself cross that line again today of all days.
The moment I heard the sound of the door opening I knew it was my doom and I didn’t think twice before pushing Yoongi away, quickly getting up into a sitting position as he reluctantly stood right there here not letting me go.
The mixed feelings I had in that moment would never be enough to describe how desperate I felt the second my eyes leaned over Jin’s figure standing right there.
No one said a single word for the longest second of my life, Jin looked at us then turned to the side showing his profile. Keeping his composure before speaking.
- I see what happened here, for now I need to speak in private with y/n - he said.
I couldn’t decipher what emotions exactly were crossing his eyes in that moment, I’ve never seen that side of him in all years of my career.
Looking up at Yoongi again pushing him by the chest slightly to get up this time he moved away for me, reluctantly but still. Before I could even take a step on Jin’s direction Yoongi held me back by the waist, turning to look at him now only to find his gaze staring back at Jin.
I could feel his whole body tensed up beside me and I knew he was ready to take matter in his own hands against Jin if he need to, this was not the best moment for such thing to happen Yoongi clearly took Jin’s words as a confrontation, a challenge against him over me.
- shit, Jin… I… - I breathed out shakily.
Noticing how I felt Yoongi instantly held my waist tighter.
- i don’t intend on making things more difficult than they have to be - Jin said, yes looking over Yoongi.
- really? Doesn’t look like - Yoongi spat at him, taking front of me protectively.
- no, Yoongi is fine… I should talk with him - i said, gently holding his arm.
He kept his gaze over Jin’s figure before slowly looking back at me.
- you’re leaving me… - it wasn’t a question.
- I’m not… ever - I murmured back to him, holding his face between my hands as i softly caressed his ear lobe the same I had bitten into before - I’m yours and you’re mine.
He closed his eyes leaning over my touch before slowly nodding.
- i’ll be right back okay? - at my words he opened his eyes, looking at Jin before turning back to me.
- ok.
I didn’t wanted to.
But I had to go now and fix things with Jin or else things my go down pretty badly especially since Yoongi feels like his territory has just been invaded, he was still under heat and could act out at Jin. I would hate to happen because of me, I must clear this out now. That is if I can even do that, i knew this would happen sooner or later I just hoped it could’ve at least wait until tomorrow.
With one last look at Yoongi taking a picture of his beautiful face right now to look back whenever I wanted to, I didn’t know how things would go from now or if I would ever get another chance to see him. I could only hope for.
I turned around to leave fallowing as Jin exists the room leaving the door opened for me, i don’t look back if I did I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to leave.
In my head I couldn’t even complain about my own stupidity, feeling like a child that was going to be lectured by her parents for not fallowing the rules. I didn’t meet Jin’s gaze once we were out of Yoongis room, being embraced by the cold air the corridors of the seventh floor. I felt even smaller under his gaze.
He stood there in front of me not saying anything and I could only feel my anxiousness grow, bitting into my bottom lip I feared now would be the last time I’d see Yoongi.
- y/n…
- shit, Jin! - I interrupted him, helplessly feeling like my whole world has coming to an end. Eye burning with tears.
- y/n let me begin… - he said, hands holding my shoulders to make me look at him and I did.
I expected to see anger on his eyes, disgust even disappointment but I didn’t. He still had the same softness in his features as he always had.
- i understand, okay? - he softly said - i… know it might sound crazy but, is okay.
Is okay?
- what? Why?
- you… you’re just like my mom - he sighted, a small smile forming on his lips.
I was completely at loss for words, just what was happening right now?
I felt like I was getting dizzy at this point, I couldn’t understand a single word that came out of his mouth. I know Jin was a kind soul but this doesn’t make any sense to me, he shouldn’t be okay with this. What is happening?
All the years I spent working with Jin brought us closer to the point I knew, the more I looked into his eyes I knew something wasn’t right, he was hiding something from me in that moment and i wants sure if I truly wanted to hear it now.
- I’m so sorry to throw this at you now, I’ll explain everything later - he said, and I begin to feel even more anxious - all you need to now now is that, Yoongi is… he’s my brother.
Then the ground underneath me opened and swallowed me whole.
Shit, Jin.
Note: Jin watching the drama unfolds in the other room like 👁️👄👁️. Finally heeeeeereeeee god this was a ride. I hope you guys like this chapter as much as I liked (and stressed over it) to write. WHAT THEY BROTHERS??!
See you guys on the next one!!! It’s not too long but I think is good. Sorry for any grammatical errors! Love you all!!
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netherfeildren · 6 months
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Pink : Part III : Two
Series Masterlist : Part I : Part II
Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader
Content Warnings: Heavy angst; DD/lg dynamics; Dom/sub undertones; Daddy Kink; Jealousy; Unprotected Sex; Creampie; Inappropriate shaving; Squirting; Belly bulge; Dirty talk; Orgasm delay/denial; Overstimulation; Face slapping; Spanking; Light degradation; Rough sex; Breeding kink; Divorce; Not safe to read if triggered by pregnancy; Use of misogynistic language; Discussions of mental and emotional abuse; Cliffhanger
A/N: All tags have been updated.
Word Count: 12.7K
Rating: Explicit 18+
Read on AO3
Ko-fi
3. Two
“You know that feeling of… of realizing you’re a good person? It’s like– yes, I know objectively that I probably am. That I try to be kind, I try to do things that are good and right, but you know those strangely self perceptive moments where another person makes you – forces you – to realize you’re good? And it brings your whole life, your whole self into clarity, and it’s like – I am good, and I deserve good things. I am good.
But he treated me so badly, for so long. He took away pieces of me, he took away that awareness of goodness. And how could I not believe him, when he constantly told me and showed me that I deserved so little, when it was what I accepted for myself? Constantly waiting for him to turn into a man he never was, never had been and never would be. I accepted those things for myself, I let them happen. Maybe I was weak or stupid or naive or all of them combined. Maybe I was just a girl. But I thought it was hope at the time. I thought I was being hopeful and good, and now I realize that was no true form of goodness. It was only the version of good he needed me to be, a subservient and silent type of goodness.”
“And you know, I had a neighbor who– her husband died last year at Christmas, and it was so sad. They were older, always together, it was… it has nothing to do with this, but I don’t know. It was like when a tragedy is soft and quiet, and it just folds into the rest of life unheeded. Such a strange thing for someone on the outside looking in. I lived next door to them, and I’d see them all the time living their lives together, and I barely knew them, but suddenly he was gone, and I was conscious of the fact that she was over there alone all the time now. Without him. When before he’d always been there. I don’t know what I'm trying to say. It’s just that it didn't happen to me, it affected me in no way, and yet, I felt her loss keenly. Afterwards, I helped her with her cat, an old skinny thing, Jazz. She started going out of town a lot after her husband died, getting out and away, you know, that sort of thing. And I’d cat sit for her, and he was so sweet. But he was old too, and a few months later, he died also. And I remember the week he was going to pass she’d texted me and said he’d go soon, and I told her I was praying for him, thinking of the both of them. I don’t even pray, but I needed to tell her I was with her in some way. And it was nothing, a few nights going over there to feed the old boy, a few text messages. It was the absolute bare minimum I could do, but a few weeks after the cat died, she wrote me the loveliest note. She told me that she appreciated me, that she thought of how kind I’d been during those days, when I’d told her I was thinking of them. She told me that I was a good person, and that she hoped my kindness was returned to me many times over. 
And I’d forgotten, you see, I'd forgotten that I was good. That I had a capacity for goodness within me, and that I deserved to be reminded of it, like all soft creatures are. We all need reassurance and a kind word sometimes, and I’d forgotten that about myself.” You glance up at his eyes, the most tender look held in them. “Do you know what I mean, Joel?” You ask, voice very small, shy and afraid, for one moment, that he won’t understand you. 
But he pets your hair, cradles your cheek, “Yeah, honey. I think I do know.”
It’s a terrifying ordeal, the way the two of you fold into each other in the weeks after that first night. And yet, unstoppable. You do try, and you’re sure he does, as well. The first few days, trying to stay away, not answering his calls, no texts because he says his fingers are too big, and he can’t work those tiny fuckin’ buttons, forcing yourself not to run back over there into his arms and his bed. But then he’s calling and calling and calling, begging, making it his turn to show up at your doorstep in the middle of the night, saying all the right things like, I haven’t been sleeping, and I need to see you, and I’m suffering, I’m suffering without you, touching you in all the right ways that should be wrong but aren’t. All baby, I hurt when I’m not inside this sweet pussy. He says you make him weak, and you tell him that the only weak thing here is you, and you don’t make it much of a struggle for him when you let him in your home, in your cunt, when all you can say is I miss you, I miss you, your cock, your hands, I can’t stop thinking about you. The two of you are one and the same in all the ways it counts. And he’s not your father-in-law anymore, a chameleon now in the form of the only man who’s ever understood you, wanted you, seen you as more, as a complexity. 
He makes you wonder how you could have ever thought of yourself as anything like sexless when all he makes you is hungry and desperate and wet. Fucking everywhere you can, as often as you can, never being very careful, pulling out and counting your cycle and starting out with a condom but ripping it off halfway through because I just have to feel you – irresponsible bullshit. Not having your head screwed on tightly enough to even really care. He has you on his living room floor one afternoon, whole day gone away on his cock, and the two of you lay there for hours afterwards, bare limbs wrapped around each other, soft, wet cock tucked safely inside of you where he says it belongs. “How could you have not been angry?” You ask him because you can’t help yourself. Because you want him to teach you to be wise now that he’s shown you how to be good. “That he was kept from you? That you missed an entire lifetime of being a father? I never once saw you furious or resentful. How did you do it?”
“Don’t know,” he sighs. “Dunno… I– It was, kind of, the worst thing anyone’s ever done to me, truth be told, but I didn’t have a chance to compute, to sit in any sort of anger. He was right there all of a sudden, too full of anger to leave any left over for me, and he needed me so much. He needs me so much.” And you know he’s right, and there should be guilt now, gnawing at you, but there is really only jealousy. “And he– he…” A swallow, like you can read his mind, you know what he’ll say, already nodding. “And he hates me,” he whispers into the quiet of this lovely home he’s made for himself, his words mixing with the butter yellow ray of sunshine the two of you are lying in, slanting in through the big bay window. “He hates me, hates who I am. That it’s me he found when he came lookin’.” You have to cry for him then, maybe even for the both of them, maybe even for all three of you. 
“Yes,” you choke, so full of sadness for the tragedy of it all. You can’t comfort him with a denial for you’re not a liar here with him. Protection like that isn’t necessary. 
“Don’t cry, sweetheart.” He hugs you so tightly, “There’s no reason to cry.”
“I can’t help it,” And return the words he’d given you once when you’d so badly needed a kindness, “You deserve more.”
He’s quiet for a long time after that, and you know him well enough now that you can hear the gears of his mind working and turning, and that makes you even sadder, perhaps, the greatest tragedy of all, this knowing, and eventually he says: “And yet, he is the son I have.” And at the end of it all, you think you are all only yourselves, and nothing can really be done about that. 
And you say you want to be wise like him, that it’s your next lesson, so perhaps you should hold your tongue instead of saying: “He only just got you back, and I’m taking you away from him again. Because that’s what I want – I want to take you away and keep you only for myself. I want you to be only mine and that makes me bad. I’m bad.” Your first lesson quashed beneath the fist of your greed for a man who isn’t for you, and who you shouldn’t want, and it’s wrong and maybe even sinful or disgusting or any and all the things that are always bad. None of that matters. He’s turned you into a real person now, none of the rest of it matters. 
But he understands, because of course he does, because he always has. He grips your jaw in his hands, large, strong hands, hands made for taking care of things, and tells you, not so wise seeming anymore: “Sometimes I look at myself, and it’s like I'm two feet tall. Why didn’t I meet you sooner? First? How could I have been such a coward to not go out there and search for you? I should have known you were out there, I should have sensed it. How can a man be jealous of his own son?” He turns you over then, cock hard and thrusting again, kisses you full on the mouth, and it tastes like ownership, and says, “You could never be bad. No matter what you did. You’re only ever good. Haven’t I taught you that?” 
-
“Joel, there’s someone at the door,” peeking into the restroom where he’s just stepped out of the shower, wet and steaming, shaking his head out like a dog, towel covering all the fun bits. He’d just had you too many times already, and still, you want more. You’re made of nothing but greed now; he’s taught you how to be good, but he’s also taught you how to be greedy. You’d been strewn across his couch, eating chips and wearing his clothes and leaking his come and waiting for him to finish in the shower and come out to make dinner. He was doing steaks on the grill and baked potatoes with all the fixings and roasted vegetables, and he’d even gotten a pie and ice cream, but he said he wasn’t telling you what the flavor was, only that it was your favorite, and you can’t think how he’d know you love rhubarb, but if that’s what he’s gotten, you were going to let him do anything to you. Literally anything he wanted. Not that you didn’t already… but still, it’s the sentiment that counts, you think. He’d also said you weren’t allowed to shower, that the rule tonight was that you weren’t allowed to wash him off, and you really didn’t mind that so much. So there you were, after he’d put on Stepmom for you, and you were just thinking that Julia Roberts was surely the most beautiful woman who’d ever been born, when someone had knocked on the door, a rhythmic, friendly: tap, tap, tap, that had your heart dropping down into your stomach, and you scurrying into the master bath to frantically tell him that someone is here while you’re here wearing him all over and inside of you and what are you going to do now? He gives you a calm smile, running the towel over his wet head, giving you an eyeful of the fun bits now, and you try and not peek, you really do, but it’s really just the most exciting part on him, you can’t help yourself. His smile turns knowing, that look in his eye, “S’alright, sweetheart. Don’t fret, I’ll get it.”
“But–” you try and protest, maybe he should just pretend not to be home. What if it’s– you can’t even think of it. But then no, he’d not come here. He hates coming to this house, the proof of everything he wasn’t all in his face like this was humiliating for your ex-husband. 
His smile remains, but his eyes go a little stern, “No worryin’, I’ll take care of it.” He tugs on his jeans, the man literally never wears underwear, slut, and tugs on a shirt, pressing a kiss to your forehead as he passes you, hand dragging over your belly, smelling of soap and Joel and want, want, want. You follow him on tip toes down the hall, pausing at the mouth of the living room, chewing on your lip and your fingers, about to spit your heart out with nerves as he pulls the door open. 
“Hi, Joel, honey. How’s it goin’?” Pretty, bubbly, overly friendly voice you were definitely not expecting. You take a small step forward, the mouth of the hall slightly to the left of the front door so that you can see her without her seeing you, watch his profile as he talks to her. Edie, he says, and that dishwasher givin’ you trouble again, and laughs at her reply, the sound of their conversation going out of your ears as you watch him, head falling sideways on your neck a little bit, the way he laughs at whatever the woman that’s come knocking on the door of his home all friendly and comfortable to interrupt his time with you is saying, loud, bellyfull, one arm braced against the doorframe so that you can see her eyes flit every few seconds to the thick bulge of muscle there. Your face goes hot, your insides green and bitter, but he’s laughing just handsomely enough that you know it’s not real. You know his real laugh, and it isn’t this one. The woman leans forward, blonde hair and big boobs and batting lashes, but Joel shifts backwards subtly, keeping a respectful distance, and your pulse throbs at the backs of your knees and the pit of your stomach. She likes him, she’s here because she likes him, asking him to look at her dishwasher or something, yeah, sure, sure that’s the only thing she wants looked at. 
“I’ll come take a look at it tomorrow. How ‘bout that? I’m sure it’ll be another quick fix like last time, but you should probably think about just replacin’ the thing at this point,'' he tells her. 
“Oh, can’t you now, Joel?” She pouts, “It’s just that–”
“I’m tied up tonight, Edie,” he cuts her off, an indulgent, too charming smile on his face, and oh, it pisses you off, that smile. You turn on your heel, stomping down the hall back to his bedroom. Huffing, gnashing your teeth. The sight of him with another woman, a more appropriate woman because of course she is, it makes you sick, angry, something terrible, so, so jealous your bones itch beneath the surface of your skin. It makes you small and slanted again, wrong place, wrong time, wrong girl. Not for him, never for him, and it’s so unfair, and he is so– so… Smiling at her like that, using that tone of voice, propping up his stupid huge arm like that so that his muscle’s all defined and put on display, and you hate him and the way he makes you feel and how much you want and need him. On the verge of tears or screaming or vomiting you scramble around his room, trying to collect your clothes and your strewn panties and where the fuck is your bra and your other shoe? 
“What’re you doin’?” Comes his soft, steady voice a moment later. Entirely too even for the way you feel right now. You want to hiss at him or bite him or do something entirely uncivilized. 
“I have to go home.”
“Why?”
“I have something to do. I forgot.”
“Something, what? What do you have to do?” But you ignore him, rifling through the strewn clothes on the armchair in the corner – where the hell is your goddamn bra? “Look at me–” he barks, now having stepped further into the bedroom. 
“Oh, fuck off,” and there’s a part of you that knows that you’re being irrational, that he’s done nothing wrong, but you feel so provoked suddenly. In need of a fight or a thrashing or something, something to make this terrible feeling poisoning you on the inside go away. 
“Watch your mouth, little girl,” and his voice is so calm and so quiet and so scary. It makes you lock up one second, spin around the next to spit and hiss at him like an angry cat. You will not watch your mouth. “She wants you.” You almost stomp your foot like a child throwing a fit, but he’s entirely still and silent, taking you in with the most unfathomable of looks. “Do you know that?” And this time you do stomp your foot. “Do you want her back?”
He blinks once, and then like a lightbulb turning on, even though you’re obvious as daylight, “You’re jealous.”
“Do you want her back?” You ask again, real tears in your voice this time. 
And his gaze goes soft and tender and entirely understanding, “Never.” He shakes his head. 
“She looked like a fucking idiot.” You pout, childish – how will he ever want you when you act like this?
“I only want you.” But you don’t believe him. How could you? When there’s nowhere for this to go. When he deserves so much more than the options afforded to him here between the two of you. And you want to fight with him because there’s nothing to be done, no choices, no other recourse, and it’s not his fault and there’s no one to blame and no outlet for this terrible anger inside of you. You feel like you’re choking on it, being swallowed whole, that head breaking water feeling reversed so that now you’re deep at the bottom of the well of your own wanting. You turn back to the fruitless search for your bra. He’s hidden it from you, you’re sure, some evil old man ploy to keep you here trapped and braless with him. “Did you hear me? I only want you,” he says again, voice closer now.
And you think you’re mumbling or crying, something hysterical bubbling up inside of you, I have to go, I have to go, your movements manic and jerking. He grips your arm, jerking you around into his chest, face flushed with anger now, but voice still even, “You’re not fucking listening to me. I only want you,” and yanks your hand to feel the hard cock trapped beneath the confines of his jeans. This is only for you. But it’s not, not in any real way, not in a way that would let you keep him and that realization sets something off inside of you. You thrash in his hold, let me go, let me go, trying to kick him in the shins while he tries to wrap his arms around your struggling form, that rumbling chant constant in your ear, I only want you, I only want you, I am only for you. It feels like he’s burrowing beneath your skin, unzipping you, splaying your insides wide open for his gaze, taking hold of your bones, a puppet on his string. You manage to yank your arm out from beneath his grip and unthinking, a buzzing so high pitched it makes you dizzy and nauseous sounding in your ears, you slap him in the face. Not very hard, maybe, but enough that you hear the crack of your palm meeting the grizzled scruff of his cheek. The sound like a bone snapping, setting off something inside both of you even worse, more frenzied than before. He groans deep in his chest, big hand fisting in your hair and jerking it back so hard you yelp in pain. “Hit me again, do it again. I want you any way I can have you, even angry. Do it again,” he goads you on, but that mindless hand is fisted in his shirtfront now, pulling you closer to him, tear stained mouth seeking his, opening to receive his filthy kiss. 
“I’m sorry,” you cry, but all he says is that he only wants you, again and again, grips you harder, makes it hurt more, and you whine and whimper and scratch and bite, a wild thing, the two of you caught up in some strange struggle of push and pull and want and fight. You can feel the hard length of his cock grinding against your belly, searching for something hot and wet to fuck into, and you hitch your knee around his hip, open yourself to him, listen to his groan in your ear, throaty and full. 
“You just need a little remindin’? Don’t you, huh?” He tugs your head back, none too gentle, to look at your tear slicked face, his eyes on fire, almost a little manic. He spins you away from him, shoving you towards the bed, ignoring your whines and protests, shut up and bend over, pushing you over the edge of the bed and crouching down behind you. “You just need a little remindin’ of how to be a good girl. I know that’s all this fightin’ is. Right, baby?” No, you try and struggle, kicking your leg out uselessly to the side, but he pins you with your arms back behind you at the small of your waist, pushing his shirt up your back to expose the naked curve of your ass and the pussy you know he’ll find humiliatingly wet and hungry for him. “Just need remindin’ of how to be a good girl for me, right?” His fingers slide down to the apex of your thighs, finding you dripping and swollen from his earlier use and your current desire, all twisted up and compounded ten fold with your jealousy. 
“So wet already for me, baby,” he coos at you. 
And oh, he’s so annoying, and you’re so embarrassing and weak for him. “Shut up, old man,” you whine. A single finger enters you slowly, rubbing up against all the terribly sensitive and swollen places inside of you, then pulls his wet fingers from you to deliver a single stinging swat to the curve of your ass, sticky wet imprint of yourself left behind. 
“Yeah, and this old man fucks you better than anyone else,” he slips his fingers gently back inside of you, “Remember that you little whore,” he says even more gently. The words make you twist and writhe, a terrible flush of lust burning through you. He feels you tighten around his fingers, groans appreciatively. “Oh, you like that, don’t you?” He twists his fingers inside of you, pressing hard against something that makes you feel like you’re about to wet yourself. You cry out, squeezing your eyes shut and shaking your head, refusing to answer. “No lyin’. You daddy’s little whore?”
“Nuh uh,” you shake your head, your hips moving with the rhythm of his thrusting fingers. He brushes his thumb slowly over your pulsing clit, plays you like a game. 
“No?” His voice is so soft, so teasing. 
“I’m not your whore–”
“You’re not? Then what are you, baby? Tell me.”
You’re right there, so close, about to come on his fingers. “I'm your baby. I'm your baby. I’m yours– I belong to you, daddy.” He pulls his fingers from your cunt, hand coming to grip your ass cheek so hard it hurts, fingernails digging into your soft skin, dragging down the smooth surface. You can hear him panting behind you, shaking, trying to control himself. He makes a gruff, rough sound in his throat, gentles his grip on you. 
“You don’t think I don’t get fucking jealous?” he spits when he’s finally managed to control himself. “You think I don't think about you with my own son and want to die? That he got to have you in a way I never will, and even worse, wasted you? You don’t think it makes me sick with envy?” He brings his fingers back to play in your wet folds, feels the slick drip of you, thrums at your clit, opening you to him with a hand on your cheek and licking you from clit to asshole. Running the flat expanse of his tongue over the length of your sex and then sucking hard at the apex of nerves, hard enough that you can’t tell if it hurts or feels good or a little bit of both. He’s got you bent over the end of his bed facing the dresser so that you have a clear view of the two of you in the mirror above it. And the sight of him, massive frame crouched down behind you, huge and hulking, face buried in your cunt from behind, the curved slope of his nose, the long, thick lashes, eyes closed like he’s enjoying himself more than he’s ever enjoyed anything else in his entire life as he licks your ass and sucks on your clit. He pulls back, and you watch, almost in slow motion, as he shocks you by swatting your entire sex with his big hand, and then immediately brings his face back to lick and kiss your smarting skin. “But he didn’t fuck you the way you needed to be fucked,” he continues. “And I do. He didn’t understand you, but I do. At least I have that.” It sounds like he’s consoling himself, and you can’t help but find consolation in it as well. Your eyes move up to your own reflection, sweat slicked and tear stained, eyes glassy, wet fingers inside of your mouth because you need something to chew on to stand the terrible throbbing in your cunt on the verge of coming. He licks you again, presses his tongue to your asshole. “Did you ever get wet for him like this?” He pulls back, runs the pads of his fingers over your clit in fast, hard up and down motions, makes it feel so good it hurts, you’re right there, you’re right there, pulls away. “Were you ever desperate for him like this? Cunt all drippy and swollen and pathetic for him like you are for me, my sweet baby?”
Never, daddy. Never. Only you. You can’t lie to him when he’s got his tongue inside of you, it’s just not possible. Only me. Only mine. You press up on your tippy toes, roll back down onto the balls of your feet, “Yeah, rub that sweet pussy all over daddy’s face,” he mumbles into your skin, slurps at you. He wraps his lips around your clit once more, sucks and licks and sucks again, and your cunt goes so, so tight, I’m gonna come, I’m gonna come, daddy, and then just stops. Pulls away entirely, gets to his feet, leaves you to throb and shiver and beg, whole body flashing hot and cold on the precipice of orgasm. Still holding you pinned in place with your wrists at the small of your back, you watch his eyes roam along your draped form, he drags his hand down the wet length of his face, wiping the drippiness of your slick away. “Stay just like that for me,” and his eyes move to yours in the mirror, as if he’s known the entire time just how riveted on him you’d been. “What?” He asks with a crooked brow and a mean little smirk. “You think you get to come? After that little display?”
“Don’t be mean,” you whisper, staying exactly as he’d directed. Trying your best to be a good girl. 
“Shoulda thought of that before, sweet girl.” He bends over the length of you so you’re eye to eye now, gets his face right up close to yours and presses a kiss to the tip of your nose. “You wanna pretend to fight, stand there like an indignant little girl stomping your foot and yellin’ about bein’ jealous while my come runs down your thighs still. Obviously, I’m not doin’ a good enough job of remindin’ you you’re mine, how much I want you. Gonna fix that now.” Presses another soft kiss to your mouth now. 
“You’re trying to dominate me,” you whine, struggling to press against his mouth again even as he pulls back out of your reach, plants a big palm between your shoulders to keep you still. 
“You bet your fuckin’ ass I am. You’re gonna do what I tell you to when you’re letting me fill you with my come the way you are. And you’re gonna like it too. You get me?”
“Yes, daddy.”
But then he goes serious, that teasing glint in his eyes flickering away suddenly. “You have nothing to be jealous of. Ever. I don’t want anyone but you. I don’t care about anything else but this.” And even though you’re sure it must be a lie, it sounds so lovely, you choose to believe him for now. You nod up at him, sniffling and crying again a little bit. “And no one takes care of you like I do,” he finally says, as if it’s a reminder, a consolation to the both of you once again. 
And he’s right, as he tells you to stay put, be a good girl and not move, leaves you there bent over the bed, that chant sounds in your mind, no one takes care of you like he does, no one, no one, no one. 
-
He steps back into his bedroom to the sight of you still draped over the bed, big eyes wet and slightly vacant, pussy red and swollen and bared to him like a wound with his name on it. You’d brought your fingers up to your mouth, chewing on your fingernails the way you did sometimes when you were anxious or overwhelmed, and when your eyes flit to him, taking in the bowl of warm water, the washcloth and shaving cream in his hold, they go wide, shocked. He arranges his things, gripping you by the hips to turn you over, pulling his shirt from you, leaving you entirely naked, and settling between your spread thighs. “Wh– what are you doing?” Voice all breathy and hitched, the thrum of your excited pulse in your throat. 
“Gonna shave you bare. Then I’m gonna eat you ‘til you’re crying, ‘til you’re so swollen you can barely take my fingers. After that, I’m gonna wedge my cock inside you and fuck you ‘til you’re so full’a my come you’ll remember not to forget you ain’t got no reason to be jealous ever again.” He strokes your curls gently with the pad of his thumb, something like fondness in the gesture, clicks his tongue. “These’re so pretty. Gonna miss ‘em.”
“Oh my god,” you choke when he drapes the water warmed washcloth over your spread pussy.
“You wanna be a brat, you wanna fight and act like you don’t know I belong to you and you to me? That none of that other shit matters– I’m gonna remind you, don’t worry.”
You crane your neck, pushing up on your elbows to watch him remove the washcloth and cover the soft curls of your groin with shaving cream. When he opens the blade and brings it to your skin, the sight of the straight edged blade against you, the smooth cream as the steel reveals the bare, satin soft skin beneath, has your chest heaving, sweat pooling at the little notch of your throat –  fucking gorgeous and his.
“You’re going to be so sensitive, baby,” he murmurs as he bends your leg back and opened wide, splitting you for his gaze. Delicate with the movements of his wrist as he shaves you. “All bare and slick down here, just for me. You’re so swollen already.”
You mumble something, moaning and letting yourself flop back against the mattress, he’s quick to pull the blade from you, pausing his movements while you settle, gives you a second to press the balls of your palms into the sockets of your eyes, whining Joel and daddy and please. And the trust in this moment between the two of you, that you’re letting him wield a blade so close to your fragile center, letting him do this to you as a way to remind the both of you of the power you cede and wield over and to one another, something that gives him the opportunity to inflict his will in a way that recenters you, reminds you that you’re his, his to do with you as he will, and it’s just the two of you in this space and you trust each other implicitly, it has a sense of control swelling inside of Joel, making his cock rock hard in his jeans, leak down his thigh. Control in a way there is none of in everything else between the two of you. Control in a way there cannot exist in any other aspect of your relationship. When he’s finished, he cleans you slowly with a new warm, damp cloth, then goes to put away his supplies, and when he returns, he looms over you, taking in the sight of your little bald cunt now. 
Slowly, he starts to pull his clothes off, watching the quick panting of your breathing, the dip and swell of your belly, so aroused by the intimacy you’ve just shared that your pupils are blown wide and dark. “You’ve made such a mess, little girl,” he says, dragging a single finger through your overflowing slit, following the slick from your swollen clit to your asshole where it pools beneath. He fingers your folds gently, avoiding your swollen clit, your little hole winking at him wantonly. “Please–” you whisper so softly, almost gasping for breath you can barely get the words out. 
“Oh, I know, sweetheart. I know you need to come so bad, don’t you?” He drags his palms up and down your thighs, up to your waist and then tugs you down over the edge of the bed and onto your knees in front of him, wide eyes riveted hungry on his cock. “How does it feel? So sensitive, isn’t it?” He’s so hard his erection stands straight up towards his belly, balls hanging heavy and full and aching. He gently drags his fingers along your scalp, feels the heat emanating from your skull. “Lick it all over, get it nice and wet so I can put it inside you.” He knows he needs to be careful now. The two of you are wide open to each other in this moment, so on edge he could come just at the look in your eyes, and you, something more than just vulnerable. He’d worried briefly, in the past weeks, if he should stop, send you away, take himself away, tell you it was too much. You were getting too attached, and although he knew it was too late for himself, that he was beyond salvaging when it came to you, he could imagine nothing worse than seeing you come out hurt from this. Could also imagine no scenario in which you wouldn’t anymore. He feeds you his cock, fisted tightly at the root to stave off his impending orgasm, slides all the way to the back of your throat until he feels his tip hit resistance, enjoying the sight of you choking on it for just a second. Good girl. “Fuck– fuck, yes. See, see how good you can be for me?” He tells you as you suck on his tip, hollowing your cheeks and running your tongue all around the wide head, tonguing his foreskin, making him hiss and bear his teeth at you while you look up at him with falsely innocent eyes. He yanks you up and against him, gives you a filthy, wet kiss, all tongue and teeth and false control, swallowing down the taste of his own precum. He’s never felt less in control of himself, of a situation, than he does right now. He has, in these past weeks, entirely lost sight of himself, of what this should and should not have been, blindly led by his cock and his heart. He’s lost all control, and Joel is nothing but weakness and want now. 
Turning you in his arms, he sits at the edge of the bed, thighs spread wide and pulls you onto his lap, impaling you back onto his spit-slick cock so swiftly he doesn't even think you’re expecting it until he’s bumping against your womb, your knees hooked and spread wide over his own. Too desperate to lick your cunt again the way he’d planned. You let out a long, shocked keen, back arching, trying to escape the too big cock suddenly shoved inside of your tiny hole. Joel has to grit his teeth, take deep breaths through his nose and out through his mouth before he can speak at the feel of you fluttering and pulsing around him, “The more you whine, the harder I’ll fuck you, got it?” There’s nothing even close to a coherent response coming out of your mouth, and he was right, shaved bare like this, you’re so much more sensitive. He pulls the lips of your sex gently apart around where he’s impaling you, takes in the sight of your little hole stretched obscenely around his fat cock in the mirror’s reflection and slowly starts to seesaw his hips back and forth, watching his glossy length disappear in and out of you. “How does it feel, baby? You’re so pretty, look at yourself.” He whispers into the small shell of your ear, presses a soft kiss to the lobe, tugs on it with his teeth. He slides in all the way, pulling your hips down so that his balls press against the curve of your ass. “Look, see where daddy’s so deep inside you – can see it in your belly.” Your head lolls back on his shoulder, gaze hooded and delirious, but your hand moves down to the soft skin of your stomach, gently cupping the outline of his cock inside of you. “I’m so deep inside of your tiny cunt, baby. Look at how you’re all mine–” He starts to move again, flicking at your clit, interchanging between fast and hard and slow and so soft you can barely feel it, and your face looks like you want to say something, tell him something, scream, but can’t. And there’s so much he’d like to tell you too, all the things you deserve and probably need to hear from him, but can’t either. He feels you start to tighten up on him, the heat in your body suddenly seeming to flush higher and brighter, almost to boiling, your cunt going so, so tight it almost pushes him out. He presses inside harder, holds you in place with one hand, and thrums fast and hard at your clit with the other, focusing the tip of his cock at the front wall of your pussy, “You’re gonna come–” he grunts, holds you in place and hammers into that swollen place inside of you he’d kill to own for the rest of his life. “Fuck– fuck, you’re gonna squirt all over my cock, aren’t you? Can feel it–” Your face spasms, your belly clenching hard and tight, and you gush, letting out a pained, animal sound, voice broken and breathless, wetting both of your thighs with your come, the bed covers beneath soaked dark. Joel doesn’t stop. He wants more, again, all of you, thrums again at your clit with the pads of his fingers, changes the angle of your hips to roll you fast and hard onto his come-slicked length, pinches your clit hard, watches you squirt all over him again. Something like the sound of his name leaves your mouth in a broken cry, your chewed raw nails trying to claw at him ineffectively. “Dirty fucking girl – creamin’ all over your daddy’s cock,” his voice is gruff, not entirely his own. There’s something here – you’d told him once you’d always felt out of control. In your relationship with Sam, aware of what he was, always, of what you were and were not, and that there was something about control that was so necessary to you now. And there is something here like control, your control over him, taking hold of him entirely so he’s unsure of what it is he should and should not be, here and now, with you. He should not be delusional, he should be aware. He is not adhering to either very well. 
He goes to his feet with you still impaled on his throbbing length, erection so hard it hurts, can barely stand up straight, blood pounding on rhythm to the chant of your name. He pulls you from him, watches the slick slide of your cunt walls dragging along his length, the cream of your slick left as a reminder all over his skin. He presses you onto the bed, rolls you this way and that too look at you all over, bends to drag his tongue through that drippy cunt of yours that squirts and comes so prettily for him, then back up and kneeling above you, between your glossy thighs, and thrusting into that tight cunt, grunting as you clench around him. So hard he feels the screaming tip of his cock punch against your cervix, listens to you make a hurt, hiccupy sound when his balls slap against you.
He should be gentle. He should be careful. He should be aware, not delusional, himself. He should reach back and take hold of that man he always thought himself to be, hard and cold but never cruel. Maybe not good, but always aware and never weak. He’s none of those things now here with you. Joel is now only himself. You’ve made me into a real person, you’d whispered onto his tongue. What he’d not told you was that you’d done the same to him. 
You’re a gift, a gift, a gift, a gift. A gift in the way his son never was. A gift in the way that a whole lifetime lost and returned to him never was, and Joel is weak and two feet tall and made of paper, but for you. Anyways, or despite it all, still made only for you. 
“Fuck me like you’re in love with me,” you say, read his mind, take hold of the beating mass in his chest. Fuck me like you’re in love with me. And maybe you don’t mean it. Maybe you’re too far gone. It doesn’t matter.
He does it anyway. Pulls back, wedges back inside the too swollen, too sensitive, too tiny cunt that belongs to him. He bears his teeth at you, grabs hold of your face so hard you’ll bruise, and fucks you like he’s in love with you. It comes to him so easily, after all. 
Shoving his knees high up beneath your thighs, he brings your ankles to his shoulders, little feet knocking against his ears, he wishes for sense, he finds none, only a deeper, sharper angle. The sounds of your cries and the things you whisper in his ear he knows you should not say and he should not listen to that fill him full of things he should not feel like I was made for you and daddy, there’s no one like you and come inside me, please, please, I need it. He pulls his hips back, swings them forward, listens to the sound of his balls slap, and you beg for harder, savors the fire that pools in his belly and the base of his spine. And he thinks that he should pull out, he’s been so fucking careless with you and your future and your vulnerability, but he’s like a monster full of greed, intent on nothing but staking his claim, leaving a claim, desperate for a way to be remembered or never forgotten or never left behind. “We have to be careful,” he begs you, and feels scared and terrible for a moment, not to be trusted with a gift like this in his hands. “I’m going to get you fucking pregnant, God.”
But you’re like some siren, something taking him away from himself, and you tell him, “I don’t care, I don’t care,” voice gone so far away from yourself too, all hazy, full of bubbles and too cock drunk to be true or sane, but it lands like a gut punch anyway. And Joel tries to hold onto himself he does, he swears he does, tries to remain rational, and aware of what this was supposed to be and not supposed to be. Tells you to please, “Shut up, shut up. Please, don’t say those things to me, I’m begging you.” But eventually that siren song wins out, the feel of your cunt sucking him deeper, milking him dry, your small damp hands pulling at his hair, stubby nails dragging down the skin of his cheeks, over his back, and Joel’s weak now. Weak and full of want and greed and delusion so that all that’s left is capitulation and: “You want daddy to fuck his babies into you? You want me to fill you up and keep you forever?” But something of himself must remain because he covers your mouth, big hand wrapped around your sweaty little face before you can answer, forcing the words silent inside of your mouth, the truth you both know you’d spit out otherwise. Yes, yes, I do. And as if the idea of you carrying his child held a direct like to your orgasm, you start to come around him, overwhelmed cunt, split in two and carved in the shape of his name now, clenching around him, going so wet and hot and tight Joel’s sure he’ll never be able to leave it ever again. You reach down between the two of you, grasp the half of his cock outside of your wet clutch, shiny with your slick and jack him off with sharp little tugs, make sure he fills you with his spend full to the brim. He spills over and out, dribbles down the slope of your ass to leave you lying in a little puddle of his semen, and when he pulls out, careful to not ask you to hold all of his weight over you, he brings your fingers to your gaping cunt, “Feel where daddy’s been,” lets you play in the imprint of himself he’s left behind. 
He lays beside you, steaming hot little thing worming up against him, nuzzling beneath his chin, pressing tiny kisses that tell him all the things the both of you need to hear and say, and he feels himself go cool and dry inside and out. Something terrible suddenly swelling within him. Something that reeks of truth, and you must smell it in the air as well because you share a piece of your own painful honesty with him, force him to confront it. “Sometimes I think I’m impossible to love,” in the smallest voice he’s surely ever heard. 
“Haven’t I shown you how untrue that is?” Because if there’s one thing he’ll never do with you, it’s lie.
You tuck your hand beneath your cheek, and you glow, and he feels blinded by it for a moment, eyes wide and so vulnerably tender, something afraid that makes something equally vulnerable inside of him rage and beat its chest. “Is that what this is? Are we in love, Joel?”
He thinks you must see the fear in his eyes, because yours suddenly go calm, fathomless, something steady for him to hold on to, and that stench of honesty chokes him. “Yeah–” he nods, swallows, thinks of his son, hates himself. “I think so, baby.”
-
What can remain the same after honesty like that? After splitting yourself open and showing each other your insides in such a way? What could possibly remain the same? Nothing. The truth is laid bare, and all that’s left now. And instead of setting you free, the truth never really sets you free, it makes everything terribly fraught and frightened and fragile. 
When he moves to stand, the sound of your desperation for him to make you his in an irreversible way rings like exploding shrapnel in your ears, “Do you think we’re bad?” You ask because you’ve only ever wanted to be good, but his eyes are so haunted, large and round and fathomless. His face, taking on a sudden sort of gauntness as he thinks of what to say to you after the worst has already been said. You watch the line of his throat ripple as he swallows several times, reading the real truth in his eyes before he shakes his head slowly, incongruous like a lie, “Never you,” and he does not include himself, “Never you.” It’s devastating. Devastating that the only thing that’s ever mattered, the thing that has finally made you good, is bad in his eyes. 
You sit at the kitchen table, watching him while he makes dinner for you. Cold and shivery and wet between your legs in a way that’s not comfortable anymore. In a way that feels like an essential part of you is slowly dripping out, leaving you grossly empty inside. The beautiful dinner he’d bought and made for you tastes like ash wrapped in all the honesty surrounding the two of you, and you stare at each other and there's no need for more words because the truth is all right here in front of the two of you to see with your own two eyes. You want to go get dressed, but you don’t want to call attention to the seed of wrongness that’s been planted now. Are we in love? When the answer had so obviously been yes for so long already. Naive, silly girl. And you want to be angry with him. Ask him why he’d done this to you, made you fall in love with him when he’d said before that you couldn’t, when it was all so hopeless. You also want to hear him say it, say the words out loud with teeth and tongue and sound, you want to taste the words in your mouth because seeing them in his eyes wrapped in all that hopelessness isn’t nearly enough to satiate this hunger he’s stoked inside of you. You want to ask him to hold you, to crawl into his lap and have him cradle you like a child protected in the embrace of stronger, wiser arms. You want to have never been put on this path, to have never met his son, never have married him, never have met him. You want the whole terrible ordeal to be wiped from mind and mouth and memory. You want to have not had to accept it all, not have moved on, not be grateful in ways you can’t even understand for the lesson it’d all posed. You want it all to have never happened. To never have experienced the entire convoluted mess of feelings this ordeal of tearing down your entire life to make yourself anew had caused. To have never fallen in love with your ex-husbands father. 
He sits in his chair, hands cupping his chin for so long, silent and staring, probably wondering what to do with you, and when he finally stands, nothing but a long, pained sigh to interrupt the terrible silence, you finally muster the strength to go find that missing bra. Crawl home, once again a ghoul in the night in need of wound licking. And it must be that very same terrible silence, the even more terrible look in his eyes that has something pressurized, set to burst, bottled inside of you because when a knock on the door sounds once again, you don’t even stop for half a thought, exploding suddenly. In his clothes and come, ripping the door open, the words on your tongue ready to spit at her that he’s already got one desperate woman on his hands that needs taking care of, and no, he will not be fixing her dishwasher or her pussy or anything else she thinks she might need him for. 
But it’s not the neighbor. And you have nothing but fear lodged in your throat to spit out when you meet his eyes. 
Eyes like his father’s, colder, crueler, furious and humiliated, take you in. Just fucked hair and a flannel that’s not your own, mis-buttoned, come-dryed thighs. And worst of all, his voice, like he isn’t even that surprised, like he’d come here just to find this, “You fucking whore.”
“Sam–” you’re not sure if you actually say his name, but the intention is held there, on the tip of your tongue. A plea for mercy or a shout for help or protection or something. 
“You fucking whore,” and you flinch at the scream in his throat, scuffle back into the safety of the house of the man you love who is the father of the man you were married to, the man who broke you, the betrayed son. He’s shocked still for a single second, before he’s charging at you, fist not entirely raised but definitely held with consideration. And, “I knew it, I always fucking knew it,” before Joel is there, stepping between you and your ex-husuband, his son, blocking you with his body, big hand wrapping entirely around your forearm to hold you close to himself, to hold you in his protection. 
“You better put your fucking arm down before I break it, son.” That moment, Joel’s voice, the utter betrayal in his son’s eyes. The sound of you breaking something that you should have never ever gotten in between. It is worse than all the rest. You take him in, the sight of this man who you used to be married to, he’d always seemed so large in your eyes before, so unattainable. Something never to be fully touched, only gazed upon. Always apart, always cold. Sam’s eyes fall to the place where his father holds you, and his face spasms, something terrible. Broken and alone, a child cast out into the cold. And you want to say that he seems so different now, haggard and gaunt and whittled down to bare bones, but it isn’t the truth. You always knew what he was, your most terrible bit of honesty. You always knew, you’d just not cared before. There was never any separation, no space for you to take a breath and want better for yourself. To be under his scrutiny, something that at one time felt like admiration, but was never anything even close, it was like nothing else, like everything, a great lie. But he was too aware of it, of himself, of that power he held over you, and unlike his father, he was cruel with it. Your eyes move up to the back of Joel’s head, the hard edge of his jaw, the muscle that spasms furiously there. What would it do to you now to be under that same sort of attention, influence, admiration, but from a kinder, gentler, honest source? What had it done to you? Dangerous to risk yourself again, impossible to stop now. 
“I always knew it,” he says again, “I always knew you wanted him. What? You let him fuck you?” The words in his mouth are a terrible thing, Joel says something, tells him to hold his tongue, to get the fuck out, but your eyes are riveted on the sight of his face, this man you used to be married to who’d broken you so completely, who’d stolen your very memory of yourself. He seems wholly unrecognizable now, and in a way, it frightens you, that someone you’d known for what seemed like so long could be such a stranger now. Joel’s hand is an anchor, such a comfort wrapped around your arm. “You barely let me touch you for two years, but you’ll bend over like a whore for my fucking Dad?” His voice breaks and it makes you want to laugh a little bit. 
Joel shoves him backward, jerking you forward still in his hold. “Say that word one more time in my house, and I won’t be held responsible for what I do to you. And don’t fucking look at her,” he snaps, reaching up to give him a quick two tapped slap on the cheek to focus his gaze on himself. “Get out, Sam. I’ll call you later. We can–”
But unheeded or too far gone, like he needs to hear the sound of the words as a comfort to himself in this moment, Sam looks back at you, “You’re a fucking whore. I wish I’d never met you, I hate you.” Joel shoves him backwards again, harder this time so that his leg slams into the side table, overturning the lamp there into a crashing heap on the floor, so hard that when he pulls you with him it feels as if he’ll wrench your shoulder from its socket with the force of his anger. You yelp in pain, but cling to him anyways, refusing to let him go either, hiding behind the hill of his shoulder. Pushing his son away, not letting you go. It’s wrong, it’s wrong and you’d told him that you wanted to keep him, to take him away from his own son, that you were made of nothing but greed, but there’s something wrong here, inherently not right, bad. 
And even yet, you can’t help the look on your face that must surely be nothing short of humiliating to Sam for the way he reddens, the little muscles in his face jerking uncontrollably. You’re done here, Sam. Get the fuck out, Joel says again, taking a step forward to herd him out, pulling you along, keeping you close. You taunt him with your gaze, can’t help yourself, “I thought I was a prude?” You say from behind the protection of his father’s body. “Isn’t that what you called me for all those years? Thought I was frigid, unfuckable, unlovable? Am I not anymore?” You ask in a small, breathy voice, falsely guileless, entirely provoking. “Have you changed your mind now that I’ve taken your Daddy from you?” False pout and mocking eyebrow.
Joel’s head snaps over his shoulder, incredulous look on his face, and Sam flinches as if struck, splintered glass in the shape of his son’s gaze, it fractures, falls back to where Joel holds you.“I wanted to talk to you,” He says to his father, “I wanted to– You’re really choosing her over me?” It costs Sam something to say this, and you weren’t expecting it either because suddenly, the game changes. His voice is child-like in its hurt, that son who longed for his father for all those years. “After everything that was stolen from us, you’re not going to choose me?” You know in that moment, he’s won. 
“This isn’t about choice, son,” Joel tells him, but you hear it for the lie it is. “This isn’t about you versus her.”
“But it is,” and his eyes flash to yours, victory held in them. “She was my wife. And you’re my father, and you have to make a choice now. This is fucking sick.” There’d always been an intelligence to his cruelty, and he wields it now. The sound of his son’s name is a choked thing in Joel’s mouth. He goes rigid, a painful stillness, muscles vibrating with warring emotions. You hold your breath for it. He looks down at where he holds you, tightens his grip painfully, and then slowly, so that the three of you are sure to take in the whole procession of it, he lets go of your arm. One finger at a time, the heat of his palm leaving you, and you’re alone. 
“It isn’t about choice,” he says again, and yet, one has already been made. You stand still, head bent, gaze riveted on the place where he’d let you go. He takes a step away from you, towards his son, and his voice is low and gentle and soothing now, and you’re still staring at the barrenness of your arm.
I had such potential to be good, you think. He just never saw it. But you don’t know who you mean. And you don’t think it matters anymore. 
They say more to each other. Joel’s hand on his son’s arm now, pushing him towards the door, but still, still comforting for the thing it symbolizes, a benediction of choice, and you turn around to face the other side of the room. You can’t look – wrapping your arms around yourself. You don’t think you’ll run this time. Face it head on, let it be over now in full. Sam’s voice rings shrill, the sound of your name and curses and accusations, fighting a futile fight against his father’s even baritone, the sound of the slamming door, and then silence. When you turn back over your shoulder, they’ve stepped outside together, leaving you alone inside the house. 
He’d asked you once what you wanted, and you can’t fathom what the point of it had been. What does it matter what I want? That’s the least significant thing here. It always was. 
When he finally comes back inside, you’re dressed, lost bra retrieved, your bag packed and sitting at your feet. You’d gone into the kitchen just before, taken a peek at the pie, and you were right, and you don’t know how he could have possibly known, but he’d gotten you rhubarb. Your face is dry now, no tears and no will to cry. There’s nothing to speak of in his gaze when he leans back against the door to look at you, swallowing down words you’re sure will mean nothing in the face of all of this. And you look at him and you love him and you think, I was married to a man once and now I’m not and now I’m with his father and I love him in the way I never loved the son; and so now, I must ask myself, am I merely looking for the love of lesser man, who could have never given me what I needed, in the eyes of a man who seems to have all the answers? 
You don’t think so. And yet, there are still no answers to be had, and no questions left to ask. 
“I’m going this time,” In case he has designs to force you to stay, and even though there’s a light of acceptance in his eyes, he still shakes his head. Swallows and gathers his seams about himself before he says, “You aren’t leaving me,” gaze churning from warry to flinty to resolved. 
“I was never supposed to stay at all. I was never supposed to be for you. You said so yourself– you said we couldn’t fall in love. That I wasn't for you.” You get to your feet, pulling your purse over your shoulder, and he rushes towards you, pushing the bag back down to the floor, taking your face in his hands hard, something like panic in his eyes and in the air and in the vibration of his voice.
“It doesn’t matter, none of that matters– Whatever was before, whatever was in the past doesn’t mean shit when it’s just you and me here together–” And you’re crying now, real, great sobs of grief. 
“You were the one that said we couldn’t fall in love,” you cry again, try and pull away, but he holds you to himself, squeezes you against him, shivers like he too is crying, burying his face in your shoulder. 
“I was a fucking idiot, a damn liar. There was never any other option, baby.” Most terrible of terrible truths, you’d both known if for the lie it was the moment he’d said it, even before, probably. You stand limply in the circle of his embrace. He’d said once that he’d been a coward not to go out and look for you, but you know the opposite is true. No one is more of a coward than you were for not having waited for him. For having been so desperate for love, you’d been willing to settle for the wrong kind. You’ll never be able to settle for false comfort like that again, and it’s all his fault. “You’ve ruined me now. I’m ruined.”
He pulls back to take your face in his hands again, and you were right, he is crying. “I’m ruined! And I need you to give me another chance. I demand another chance– to… to fix this. To–”
But another chance for what? To change what? “He’s your son, and I only want you to be happy.” And you know he couldn’t ever be happy, truly happy, estranged from his only child. After all, like he’d said, the theft of him had been the worst thing ever done. You wouldn’t commit a crime like that against Joel also, never. 
“Baby, please, I think… I– I love–”
“Please–” You press the tips of your fingers to his mouth, silencing him. “Please, don’t do this to me now.” It makes you angry, this intent of his to trap you here with his love when there’s no room for you to stay. You turn away, picking up your bag again, but he snatches you back into himself, wrapping his big arms around your waist, crushing you against his chest. And you’d struggle if you could, but there’s so little fight left in you. “You’re the one that said – you said we couldn’t!”
“I know what I fucking said,” he spits, voice so angry it almost frightens you. “But there’s still– We have to talk, we have to–”
“What can you possibly imagine there’s left to say?”
“Everything.”
“Or nothing.”
“Look at me. Look at me–” He pulls your head back and to the side by your chin. There’s a bright flush sitting high on his cheekbones, and his eyes shift quickly back and forth between yours, searching for a way to fix this. To fix the good thing that’s now been broken. His thumb strokes the point of your chin softly, and he presses his mouth slowly to yours, eyes open to watch for your reaction. “This wasn’t a mistake,” he tells you, “We weren’t a mistake.” Weren’t. The final nail in the coffin. “I know, I know that there are so many things– that we can’t… but just– just stand here with me for one minute, please. Just give me one more second, and I’ll–”
He doesn’t finish the thought, and you let him kiss you one last time. And when he pulls back, because it doesn’t feel like it really matters, and because you just want to hear the sound of it coming out of your mouth, because you wish it was true and not the complete opposite, because you want to be as cruel and ugly outside as you feel on the inside, you whisper, “I hate you,” a full bodied lie. 
His eyes shutter and flicker for a moment, a wash of hurt suffusing them. But because he’s never been a weak man and because he’s always been honest, and he’s always, always above everything else, been good, he says, “And I love you,” and there it is. You’d thought you wanted to hear the sound of that too, but now that you have, it’s more terrible than you could have ever possibly imagined. And after that, there really is nothing left to say. 
-
Joel goes to see his brother afterwards because it’s what he always does and who he always goes to when he’s lost. When a son in the shape of a man made of nothing but childish fear and anger and hurt, had appeared one day, dropped out of the blue sky, onto his front porch, when he realized he wanted his daughter-in-law in a way no good man should. And now, that he’s admitted, because the realization had already been there, swift and uncompromising, the admittance had been all that was left, the hard going part, that he was in love with you – in love with the woman who had been married to his son, here he finds himself again. Lost and weak and two feet tall, made of nothing but hollow bones. “I’m not myself,” he tells Tommy, and then amends the lie because he’s not come here to tell lies. “She’s made me into someone I don’t recognize and wish I could be forever.” How would he get his old self back now? Impossible. You’d taken him away with you, he was only half made now, half man, half strength. And Tommy is understanding because it has always only been the two of them, and he’s always seen Joel for exactly who he is without judgement. The most honest eyes in the whole world, his brother. “I'm afraid that she’s the love of my life. I’m afraid that I’m not really so afraid at all. And she won’t even talk to me.” You’d left his house a week and a day ago, and Joel was going out of his mind, losing pieces of himself along the way, his sanity, his sense of right and wrong, his self restraint, self possession. He was about to do something crazy, he felt it gnawing and itching at his bones. He could barely remember the look of betrayal in his own son’s eyes amidst the madness of the memory of the hurt in yours, the sight of you walking away from him. “And my son. My son, my child, Tommy, he hates me. And I’m in love with the woman he used to be married to, who he hurt. And he’s a cruel and small man, and he needs me. He needs my help, and I have a responsibility to him. But Tommy– Tommy, I love her. She’s mine. And what am I going to do? What am I going to say to him? How will I ever face him again? She’s mine, and I– I can’t explain it, I can’t excuse it. But she’s mine– she’s my woman. She belongs to me. I know this as well as I know my own name, my own face.”
And his brother, his brother, his brother who always understands him, who always stands beside him, he claps him on the shoulder and says, “If anyone can find a way, Joel, it’s you. I know you can. You’re stronger and smarter than anyone I’ve ever known. And you don’t abandon yours.” And so Joel must believe him because Tommy is his brother, and he knows him, and he knows that even though he’s weak now, even if he must let himself be weak now, in the face of all of this, Joel is not truly a weak man where it counts. 
-
You and Sam had only ever spoken once on the topic of children. It was, from the first moment broached, a non possibility, not even half of an option. Devastating, but now, all this time later, almost like a grace from God. You’d wanted a baby so badly, more than anything in the whole world, and he would not give you one. He’d said your desire for a child was incongruous with your cold nature, how frigid you were. 
And you’d been so long, caught in the who am I, in the what am I doing. You never stopped to ask why. Molded into a bad shape, but mute and deaf to the intricacies of what had carved you so. You’d needed to destroy yourself entirely, tear down everything around yourself, and then recreate yourself and everything else in your life in a new image. Perhaps, then, you’d finally have the chance to be good.
Your husband’s father had given you this. Joel had given you this. 
And Joel, Joel, Joel, Joel. How to tell him that you’re sorry? That you’re vile and cruel and yes, even cold sometimes, but for him, for him you can find it in yourself to be soft, something to be forgiven, you hope. His son had called you a prude, and then, his father’s whore. Did it matter what the truth was? You weren’t so sure. Did you want Joel because you were a whore? Because your own father had never loved you, and you were thus desperate to fill that void left by lesser, crueler men? Did it matter? You hated the idea that this desire for him had to have been born by consequence of another man. What about what you wanted? What about the fact that it felt good when he was inside of you? When he gave it to you rough and hard and when he told you that you belonged to him because you did, because it was the truth. What about the fact that you were in love with him? That should have counted more because you said it counted more. And then that was it, nothing more to the thing of it. So what if he was the father of the man who’d been your husband? The man who’d stolen all of your surety, your passion, yourself. Sometimes, retribution feels fucking good. So what about it? And then, and after all, you were in love with him. So what did it all matter after that? 
People liked to say that sometimes a bad thing is worth it if it feels good enough. But what if you didn't think it was bad at all, and what if it didn’t just feel good enough? What if it’s actually everything, the best thing you’d ever had in your whole life? And what if it is simply and solely, or maybe even also, who cares, who cares, what if it is simply because it’s Joel? Joel who is beautiful and strong and good. Maybe even perfect in a way that you need. 
He’d told you once that he’d never had the chance to be angry, that it had been stolen from him, the worst thing ever done to me, he’d said. You know that you could never do that to him. Never hurt him in that way. And there might be so many options. Choices. Truths. Yourself. Finally, you are only yourself. Good in the way he’d shown you to be. In a way that did not bow to anything but the sort of goodness you needed. But Joel; above all else, Joel. He is the first choice, and everything else seems inconsequential after that. What is goodness worth in the face of all he’s given you? 
So, you sit now, within the basin of your empty bathtub, no more leaky kitchen sink echoing through your empty apartment, he’d fixed it weeks ago, and peer over the lip of the tub. And there, blinking up at you from the face of the skinny pink and white stick, is your answer to goodness. It had always been within yourself. And you think, if it must be just the two of us now, then let it. After all, your father has finally taught me how to be good. 
End.
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vampireapple · 2 years
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Hide the Object
Humans are very sneaky when it comes to hiding objects, even using their own body to do so. Can you imagine how horrified aliens would be if humans hid objects inside their bodies?
.  .  .
The leader of the archaeological team looked around at his team. They were hiding from the pirates, but they would soon be discovered. “If the pirates find these stones a vital piece of this planet’s history will be lost.”
“Back up is coming, right?” The lone human asked.
The leader nodded. “Yes, but they will not arrive in time.”
“Don’t worry, I got this!” The human said. He grabbed the small pebble like things and put them in his mouth.
The crew did not have long to freak out as the pirates arrived and there was a fight.
After the rescue team arrived and the pirates were dealt with the human spat the stones into his hand. Everyone recoiled in disgust.
“How!” the leader demanded.
“I just kept them in my cheeks,” the human replied.
“How! You spoke normally and even fought!”
“Dude, I have kids. I have to be good at hiding things in my cheeks if I want to snack in piece.”
.  .  .
Specialty Retrieval was interesting with a human. They seemed to have no appreciation for danger. And they were crazy.
The pair had successfully found the chip they were assigned to retrieve and taken it without being located. However, they had a problem. It would soon be discovered that the chip was missing.
“They will do a strip search,” the alien partner said. “We will need to hide the chip and come back for it later.”
“I have a better idea,” the human said. She pulled out a little rubber baggie, put the chip in it and sealed it closed. She took a big drink of water, put the baggie in her mouth, and swallowed it.
“What have you done!” the partner demanded. Had the human lost her mind!
“Relax,” the human said. “The rubber will protect the chip from my stomach acid-”
The alien paled at those words.
“-and the chip is like the size of my thumb nail, so it’ll pass through my digestive track just fine. We’ll get it back by tomorrow.” She smiled brightly.
The alien wanted to bag his head on the wall.
(They survived the strip search, made it off the planet, and did get the chip back the next day)
.  .  .
The five teammates stared at the little statue. It was small, fitting in a human’s palm, but it was big enough that it wouldn’t be easy to hide. How were they going to get it out? They would surely be searched when it was discovered missing, and they wouldn’t be able to leave the planet for another planetary cycle and a half!
The two humans looked at each other. Both seemed apprehensive, which put the rest of the team on edge. If something scared a human, it had to be bad.
“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Human Steve asked Human James.
Human James nodded grimly. “Rock, Paper, Scissors?”
The aliens stared at the humans has they held out their fists, counted to three, and then made shapes. Human Steve looked at his hand and then swore.
“Sorry bud,” Human James said.
“Give me the statue, and then everyone turned around,” Human Steve said, looking very unhappy.
Confused, but trusting their teammate the three aliens did to. Human James also turned around. They waited in tense silence.
“Okay, we’re good,” Human Steve said.
The four turned around. The statue was gone.
“Where… is the statue?” the team leader asked.
Human Steve grimaced. “You don’t want to know.”
(After they were back at base Human Steve insisted on washing the statue very well and many times before he gave it back)
6K notes · View notes
mikavlcs · 1 year
Text
Rebels and Renegades
Pairing: Wednesday Addams x reader
Summary: Becoming best friends with a sentient hand brings many much-needed changes to your life, the biggest being the very girl he arrived at Nevermore with.
Warnings: this is so stupid, reader is incredibly unserious, many attempts at comedy, TERRIBLE pacing, bad writing, cursing, this doesn’t correlate properly with the timeline of the show but idc
Word count: 6.6k (sorry, this got very out of hand...get it?)
Notes: this is trash but it’s fun so who cares. this is entirely for @clexa-is-forever aka thing’s biggest fan. despite my writer’s block, i still had fun writing this. hope you enjoy!
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If someone told you at the beginning of the school year that your best friend would be a sentient disembodied limb, you would’ve laughed in their face.
Not because you thought it would be too ridiculous or nonsensical, but because in your mind, it was far too interesting for what Nevermore Academy had to offer.
See, you were initially excited to transfer to Nevermore. To get away from the shallow depths of normie public school and be around people like you. But alas, it was too good to be true—or, maybe, you had gotten your hopes up too high.
Because it turned out that fantastical mythical creatures like vampires, werewolves, and sirens actually weren’t too dissimilar from their normie counterparts. They didn’t care about excitement or adventure or fun, they cared about partying and drinking and dating.
This duality created an atmosphere of contradictions. There were people with literal snakes for hair but also those stupid cliques of popular kids that liked to pick on people for no reason. Werewolves transformed into energetic beasts and prowled the woods together every full moon, but students’ biggest concerns were whom they were gonna ask to the school dance.
It was all strange and supernatural yet shockingly normal. And extraordinarily boring.
The disappointment you felt upon this discovery was immeasurable. It appeared that no matter how far you ran, you could never escape the clutches of adolescent desires and drama.
But there was nowhere else for you to go. This was it, your parents told you that definitively. So you resigned yourself to your fate and settled into life at Nevermore.
Months passed at a snail’s pace. Around the middle of the semester, a new student transferred in. Because nothing of substance happens, she was the talk of the town for a solid two weeks before her scheduled arrival, but you didn’t care.
You would admit that after finally seeing her, your interest was piqued. She certainly fit the murderer vibe. With her pallid complexation and dark eyes, she looked straight out of a black & white horror film, even complete with a black uniform instead of the standard purple (which you were so jealous of).
Temptation pulled at your chest whenever you saw her, but you decided to leave her alone. This school had disappointed you enough, you weren’t sure how you’d be able to handle even more. The decision to keep your distance was made and instead, you let your imagination run wild without the probable barriers of reality to inhibit it. 
Little did you know that only one day after the new girl transferred in, she inadvertently changed the course of your life at Nevermore forever. 
Advanced Gorgon Sciences, your last class of the day, had just ended and you were wandering campus wondering what you were going to do with your free time. You were contemplating going into Jericho when something smacked your cheek.
Pausing, you glanced down and found the offending object to be a small pebble. You followed its rough trajectory up to a ledge on your left and saw something scurrying across it. Against, your nonexistent better judgment, you moved closer and…
You blinked once, then twice, narrowed your eyes.
It was a hand—literally just a hand, cut off at the wrist but still scuttling and scurrying around with no problem.
So, you were definitely losing your mind. Honestly, it was about damn time.
Having nothing better to do, you decided to lean into the madness and approach the hand. At the sound of your footsteps, it turned and…looked at you? You weren’t sure, but it acknowledged your presence with a friendly wave.
You waved back, a laugh bubbling up in your throat as you hoisted yourself up to sit on the ledge.
Once you were up, you saw that the hand was fiddling with a makeshift slingshot, struggling to simultaneously keep it upright while loading and aiming it. His plight was fairly obvious and considering his circumstance, you couldn’t help but feel for him.
Abandoning the slingshot, the hand crawled over to you and started tapping insistently. It took much more brain power than it ought to for you to realize that he was trying to speak to you.
“Sorry, I don’t understand…that,” you apologized with a grimace. But an idea came to mind a moment later. “Can you write?”
The hand gave you a thumbs up. You dug around your backpack and pulled out a notebook along with a pen, flipping it open to an empty page and slid it over, setting the pen down on top. He picked up the pen and got to work, pushing the notebook back toward you a minute later.
Curious, you looked at the messy scrawl below.
Sorry, was aiming for the guy behind you.
You nodded understandingly. “It’s fine. Could I ask why you’re launching pebbles at students?”
You waited once more as he scribbled his answer and peered down when he pushed the paper over.
For fun.
Again, you nodded. You could respect that.
“Well, do you mind if I join you?” you asked, nodding toward the slingshot. “I’d imagine it would be a lot easier to aim with an extra pair of hands. And the accompanying body,” you added awkwardly at the end, hoping it wouldn’t offend the little guy.
Thankfully it didn’t. He gave you an excited thumbs up, scuttling back over to the slingshot while you scooted over. While he loaded another pebble into the pouch, you scanned the area below for your next victim.
Your eye snagged on a vampire for no real reason other than the fact that he just kinda looked like an asshole.
You pointed to him below. “How about him?”
Thing gave you another thumbs up. Nodding, you held the slingshot in place while Thing drew the pebble back and let it fly.
The shriek that came from your victim almost made you blow your cover. You grabbed Thing and hurriedly crawled back to where you were both out of sight, barely containing your giggles. Once the coast was clear, you cracked, pitching forward with your laughter as Thing drummed his fingers against your arm in what you assumed was amusement.
“That was amazing!” You looked down at him, smirked. “Wanna do another one?”
He tapped your hand enthusiastically, making your smile widen.
Thus was the beginning of an amazing friendship. Well, amazing for you and Thing—not for the rest of Nevermore.
The two of you were a match made in hell. Together you brainstormed a plethora of good pranks to pull on unsuspecting students and teachers.
Putting spiders (fake or otherwise) in students’ lockers. Setting glitter traps on top of classroom doors so whichever unlucky soul walks through first gets showered in glitter. Slipping mentos into people’s sodas. Setting trip wires to watch people faceplant around campus and many more.
It was glorious. Your own personal reign of terror, even.
Principal Weems had her suspicions, but no matter how many times she tried to catch you in the act, you slipped through her fingers. And without proof, her hands were tied. So you and your companion were free to keep enjoying your schemes so long as you were discreet.
For the first time since you enrolled, days passed by in what felt like minutes, the personification of the saying time flies when you’re having fun.
Through it all, you often wondered where the little guy was when he wasn’t with you. You hoped that he wasn’t causing too much mischief without you. He was your partner in crime, after all.
Two weeks in, you decided to ask him at breakfast.
The two of you were at your usual table in the corner of the cafeteria. You were ranting about an upcoming Lycanthrope History test while Thing was launching the grapes you gave him to play with at nearby tables. After your rant, you finally gave in to your curiosity.
“So, what exactly are you doing at Nevermore? I know this place houses some strange students but, something tells me you’re not here to learn.”
He flicked a grape with precise aim, nailing a gorgon right on the forehead before giving you a series of taps. Your face scrunched in confusion.
“Babysitting? Babysitting who?”
Nothing could have prepared you for his answer.
“Wednesday Addams?!”
Your voice came out much louder than intended, turning a few heads around the cafeteria and making Thing jump. You didn’t care, plowing forward in your questioning.
“You’re ‘babysitting’ the school’s homicidal maniac?”
His stance straightened, his nonverbal tone somehow indignant as he corrected you.
You gave him a pointed look. “Attempted homicide isn’t much better, buddy.”
He seemed to contemplate flicking another grape, but seeing Miss Thornhill looking around, he chose not to. Instead, he drummed his fingers inquisitively at you, teasingly waggling his fingers at the end. You gave him another sharp look, insulted by his implication.
“Scared? What, no! This is amazing news,” you exclaimed. Then, an idea arose. “Hey, do you think she’d let us borrow any of her stuff for pranks?”
Thing mournfully shook his wrist. You let out a deep sigh, slumping over again. “Yeah, I guess I should’ve expected that answer.”
Wednesday didn’t really come up in conversation after that. You asked a few more times about her willingness to let you borrow her things, but after receiving the same answer, you gave up. Your paths had yet to cross, and you assumed that it would stay that way. But the universe seemed to have other plans.
The first time you formally met her was about a month after she transferred.
It was an appropriately cloudy day and you and Thing had just successfully completed a heist. You were in the Weathervane, both gushing over the fact that you had managed to steal fifteen scented lotions from Jericho’s local Bed, Bath & Body Works when a sharp voice interrupted you.
“So this is who you’ve been running off with these past few weeks.”
Both you and Thing flinched, looking up to see the Wednesday Addams staring down at you and your partner.
Offering a wave, you said, “Hey, Wednesday. Want a scented lotion?”
She ignored you completely. Her eyes barely scanned your figure before she was turning her full attention to Thing, her arms crossing over her chest in vindication.
“I knew you had to have an accomplice. You’re nowhere near nimble enough to properly set a trip wire by yourself.”
Thing slumped, obviously disheartened by the statement, but before you could defend his honor, your mind caught on something else.
“Wait…” You looked over at Thing, offended. “Have you been taking full credit for our pranks this entire time?��
Sheepish, Thing bowed, giving your hand an apologetic pat. You moved it away, crossing your own arms over your chest.
“Since this is your first offense, I’ll forgive you. But do it again and I’m keeping all of the profits from our future heists, got it?”
Thing jumped in alarm, tapping urgently. You smiled. “Good.”
Wednesday looked between you both, clearly unimpressed. You decided to take your shot again.
“You know, the lotion offer still stands.” You rifled through the lotions, taking note of their scents, and glanced back up with an apologetic look. “Though, we don’t have one that smells like stage 4 human decomposition, sorry.”
Again, she just stared blankly. You swore you saw her eye twitch but still, she said nothing and glared at Thing.
“Be back at the dorm by 7.”
With that, she turned and marched out of the café, leaving everyone in her path to fearfully stumble out of her way. Both of you watched, rapt, as she slammed the café door open and nearly nailed an approaching customer in the face.
Once she was out of sight, you turned to Thing. “Y’know, I think that went well, buddy.”
Thing said nothing.
You thought that would be the end of it, and honestly, you would’ve been fine if it had been. You made a good first impression and she now knew you existed. A double win!
But again, it seemed that someone had other plans—though this time it wasn’t the universe, but Thing.
Now that you and Wednesday had been semi-acquainted, Thing began inviting you to their dorm for hangouts frequently (because it was “his dorm too” …you didn’t have the heart to tell him otherwise). This set a few things in motion.
First, you met Wednesday’s roommate, Enid.
Enid was nice. A little hyper, like she was on a permanent sugar rush, but sweet, nonetheless. She gave you free manicures and skincare advice, and even let you borrow some things for pranks, so you hadn’t a single bad thing to say about her.
Second, you found out that you were very bad at scaling buildings.
Due to both curfew and Wednesday’s usual disapproval of your presence, Thing insisted on smuggling you in. By throwing a rope down to your balcony for you to climb. And…let’s just say that it’s a miracle you even survived the first time.
And finally, most importantly, you and Wednesday began to grow closer.
Only by about a centimeter, but progress was progress. And through sheer willpower and repeated exposure, you wormed your way into the tolerance stage, which is farther than most people who came into contact with Wednesday got, so you were proud.
She wasn’t warmer per se, but the sight of you in her dorm was no longer met with a throwing knife, just a death glare and some tentative (mostly one-sided) conversation if she was in a good mood. It was a big win.
Now that she wasn’t orchestrating any attempts on your life, you grew…not protective, but defensive of her, and Enid for that matter. Enid was your friend and Wednesday was…Wednesday. Willingly or not, they were part of your small circle.
So when a werewolf insulted Wednesday right to her face the day before the Poe Cup, well who could blame you for getting a little revenge?
You overheard him call Wednesday a frigid bitch, and he was right, but he didn’t have to say it like it was a bad thing. In retaliation, you and Thing gave him a special surprise involving shampoo and some of Enid’s hair dye that you were very excited to see the next day.
And it didn’t disappoint. Seeing the flash of bright pink amongst the Furs, and a matching flush of embarrassment that was nearly the same color was the highlight of your day.
At least it was until the Black Cats emerged from their tents.
Given your positioning, you were only able to see them once they started climbing into their canoe, and needless to say that the team’s roster shocked you. There were a few girls you didn’t recognize up front, then Enid and, as her co-pilot in the back, Wednesday.
Your jaw dropped. Because not only was she competing in the competition, but she was also wearing a skintight black catsuit, complete with ears and a tail.
The laugh you let out was so loud that it startled the surrounding crowd. You felt something poking your leg, and looking down, you found Thing standing by your feet. You bent down, glancing over to the Black Cat’s boat.
“Hey, you helping out Wednesday and Enid?”
He bowed in confirmation. Nodding, you stuck out a hand.
“Punch at least one siren for me, alright bud?”
He shook your hand firmly, a promise to fulfill your wish, and crawled off to the boat.
The event itself was rather dull. With the way Enid explained it, you were expecting something a bit more grandiose, but in reality, it was just standing around and watching for boats. Boring.
But hey, it gave you a half-day of classes, so who were you to complain?
The results though, were much more interesting.
For the first time in decades, the trophy went to Ophelia Hall. You were happy, not because you had any buried school spirit, but because you knew how much Enid wanted this. Seeing the fish get knocked down a peg was a nice bonus.
Afterward, you pushed through the crowd to try and find Enid so you could personally congratulate her, but before you could spot her, you bumped into her co-pilot. Literally.
Blindly, you steadied the smaller girl by the shoulders, a sorry on the tip of your tongue, but it got swallowed down as you were crudely reminded of her current state of dress. You tore your eyes from her outfit and dropped your hands back to your side, meeting her glare with what you prayed was a straight face.
“Hey, Wends. Congrats on the win! Love the outfit by the way,” you said, trying your absolute hardest not to crack a smile. The large ears were making that exceptionally hard, however.
She scowled. “Don’t call me that and for your information, I was forced to wear this.”
You nodded, not trusting yourself to say anything without laughing. Thankfully, it seemed Wednesday wasn’t finished speaking anyway.
“I noticed that werewolf’s hair is now a rather putrid shade of pink,” she said. “Did you perhaps have something to do with that?”
Once again, you found yourself unsuccessfully fighting off a smile. “I can neither confirm nor deny your suspicions. But it suits him, don’t you think?”
Before she could respond, a soaking wet Thing pulled on your pant leg and excitedly began recounting what happened. You bent down again, nodding along with his story, and beamed at him once he finished.
“Right in the eye?” you reiterated, and Thing confirmed. “That’s awesome. I knew I could count on you.” You gave him a quick high five then scooped him up, drying him off on your uniform and setting him on your shoulder.
You stood back up and saw that Wednesday was still there, staring at you so intently that you were sure she was somehow looking straight through you.
Cocking your head to the side, you went to ask if she was alright, but that must’ve knocked her from her stupor because, without another word, she spun on her heel and walked off, leaving you to stare at the spot she just occupied, thoroughly bewildered.
“That was weird,” you commented. Thing gave an agreeing pat.
Unfortunately, you couldn’t question her about it since you didn’t get the chance to speak with her again until exactly three days later.
It was just after dinner. Thing invited you over to help prepare a new scheme, and who were you to say no to the little guy?
Enid was visiting Yoko in the infirmary and Wednesday was nowhere to be seen, so it was just you and Thing, sitting by the window hard at work.
You tied the water balloon in your hand and held it in front of you, giving it a contemplative look. “You’re sure these will only give them bad rashes, right?”
The only response you received was a shrug, which was good enough for you, so you picked up the next one and got to filling it up. Not one to work in silence, you voiced a thought you’d been holding in for a while.
“So, do you breathe? Like, would be able to drown if you stayed under the water for too long?”
Thing shook his wrist matter of factly. You gasped.
“That’s so cool.” The flustered thuds you heard after made you chuckle.
Satisfied, you went back to filling balloons, but your head popped up only a minute later, another burning question on your mind. “If you can’t eat or drink, then what physically sustains you to keep you alive?”
Without missing a beat, Thing tapped out his answer.
“The misery of others?” You snorted. “Yeah, I guess that tracks.”
Conversation lapsed into quiet as you both focused on your tasks, and your mind wandered.
You wondered where Wednesday was. The hour just after dinner was her designated writing hour, and it was very unusual for her to be missing it.
You hoped that she’d be back soon, even if she only glared at you the rest of the night. Just seeing her would be enough to satisfy you.
Because in a somewhat cruel twist of irony, you were now falling victim to the very same feelings you mocked others for getting caught up in, and even more brutal was the fact that you didn’t mind all too much. Mostly because it was Wednesday.
Now, you were no poet or writer. You weren’t going to wax poetic and spew a thousand grandiose metaphors about how her eyes resembled that of a starless sky, no.
Wednesday was really pretty and genuinely interesting, and she looked at you like a predator wanting to tear apart its prey. And really, that’s all it took for you to dive right off that cliff’s edge into infatuation.
There was a certain excitement in knowing that she could dismember you with surgical precision if you ever went just a little too far, an irresistible thrill to be found in constantly toeing that line. Like walking a tightrope with life and death teetering on a knife’s edge—the perfect counterbalance to the endless loop of monotonous boredom your life had seemingly fallen into before her and Thing’s arrival.
The sound of the door opening interrupted your train of thought, and you whipped your head just in time to see Wednesday stride in with a book cradled in her arms and her usual annoyed expression adorning her features.
You perked up, and out the corner of your eye, you saw Thing do the same.
“Hey! How’s Nevermore’s resident tiny terror doing today?”
“Call me that again and I will disembowel you,” came her cheerful reply. You snorted.
“Uh-huh.” You finished tying the last balloon and looked back up, seeing Wednesday eyeing your prep work with distaste.
“Are those water balloons?” she asked, clearly unimpressed.
“Yep. They’re filled with holy water so we can throw them at the vampires who were teasing Enid last week for not being able to shift.” You grinned. Wednesday’s eyes widened a fraction.
“That’s insane,” she commented. Then after a beat, “Make sure to film it on your cellular device so I can watch as well.
“Of course,” you assured her, giving a dramatic bow as well. She rolled her eyes, and you watched her resign to her desk. Unable to contain your curiosity, you piped back up, “So what took you so long? I was expecting you to come in and kick me out hours ago.”
Her reply was instantaneous. “I discovered a secret passageway in the school, committed theft, and became the target of an attempted kidnapping.”
A twinge of jealousy pierced your gut. How come she always got to do the fun stuff? You quickly shook it off, focusing on the first thing she said.
“A secret passageway?” you asked, already thinking of ways to possibly utilize the space for you and Thing.
“Yes, I solved a riddle and uncovered a passageway hidden behind the Edgar Allen Poe statue in the quad.”
The Edgar Allen Poe statue… Recognition sparked, and the pieces slotted together, some of your prior jealousy abating.
“Ohh, you got kidnapped in the Nightshade’s Library?”
Finally, she looked at you, gaze so sharp it could’ve cut you in two. “How do you know about that?”
You and Thing shared an unsubtle sideways glance.
“Uh—”
“So what fingers do you do it with? Thumb and ring finger or thumb and middle finger?”
The pressing question was delivered in a whisper. It was late—at least an hour after lights out, but Thing promised to teach you how to snap before he left for his dorm.
So to avoid being caught, you and the appendage were tucked into the corner of a small hall that branched off from the quad. You were hunched against a tall Edgar Allen Poe statue while your companion stood next to you.
Thing waggled his fingers and pointedly put his thumb against his middle finger. You nodded and copied his movements, rubbing the fingers together to get a feel for it.
“So I just…”
You pressed the fingers together and made the snapping motion a few times in quick succession, beaming up at him when you managed to produce a few low sounds.
Suddenly, a deep rumble emanated from the ground beneath you as the statue you were seated on began to shift. You leapt to your feet, quickly grabbing Thing and placing him on your shoulder. You both watched, baffled, as the statue moved to reveal a long winding staircase.
Taking in a breath, you shared a look with Thing then looked back to the open pathway.
“Holy shit!”
“No reason,” you said far too quickly to be believable. Before she could question you further, you cleared your throat and moved on. “Did you have fun?”
“No. They were imbeciles that didn’t even know the basics of the art of abduction. It was pitiful.”
You frowned. “Oh. Sorry about that. I hope the next one is better.”
Wednesday shot you a strange look, studying you carefully before mumbling out a barely audible thank you, and turning back to her desk.
Since you were finished with the balloons, you slumped back against the window. There was nothing to do, so you couldn’t be blamed for the way your eyes drifted back to Wednesday’s hunched form. Nosiness tugged at you. You wanted to know more about what she stole and why, and a glance at Thing told you that he did too.
Extending your arm for him to climb, you waited until he rested securely on your shoulder before heading to Wednesday’s desk to see what she was up to.
Lying flat on the wood before her was the book, opened to an illustration. On the left page was what looked to be a pilgrim extending a staff toward the figure on the right, who somewhat resembled Wednesday. You squinted. Scratch that, the girl on the right looked exactly like Wednesday.
“Is this what you stole?”
“Yes, and I’d appreciate it if you didn’t look over my shoulder like that.”
Her words went in one ear and out the other, your mind too busy trying to decipher the meaning of the drawing to actually listen. Finally, the identity of the mystery pilgrim clicked, and you asked, “Why’d someone draw you in a picture with Crackstone?”
Her head whipped over to you, all complaints of you being there gone. “You know who this is?”
“Yeah,” you answered, “Joseph Crackstone. He’s like, Jericho’s chief colonizer. Founded the whole town or something.”
She didn’t respond, seeming to take in the information, but you didn’t want the conversation to die quite yet, so you carried on.
“Outreach Day is next week, are you excited? I, for one, am pumped to do menial work for no pay.”
“No, I’m not,” she said, then appeared to rethink her answer. “Actually yes, but not because of the forced child labor. I already have plans to further my investigation in Jericho.”
You perked up, leaning forward to try and catch her eyes. “Can I come?”
She didn’t even bother looking back at you when she answered, hard and firm.
“No.”
-
“Thanks for letting me come along, Wends!”
Wednesday clenched her jaw, expelling a sharp breath through her nose. This was the third time you’d said that in the past four hours, and while she was able to ignore the other two, the addition of that stupid nickname made holding herself back a third time impossible.
“How many times do I have to tell you to stop calling me that? And you’re only here because someone,” she sent Thing a murderous glare, “refused to cooperate without your agonizing presence.”
Your eyes widened, darting over to the hand resting on your shoulder. “Really?”
Thing gave a shy wave. A wide smile spread across your cheeks in response.
“Well thanks for advocating for me, bud. It means a lot,” you said with a hand over your heart, sounding far too cheerful for someone that just chased a dangerous monster.
Wednesday didn’t bother dignifying you with any more responses, turning back to the woods ahead. But that got her thinking.
Why had she let you come anyways?
There was no good reason that came to mind. You were insufferable. The human embodiment of vexation and foolishness and petulance. You were, in essence, all the traits she disliked in the general human race given physical form.
And yet, she had allowed you to come along.
Yes, Thing asked her time and time again to permit your presence, but instead of threatening his life like she should have done, she gave in with the silent promise of revenge.
It made no sense. You pushed boundaries, disobeyed orders, and disregarded her threats and insults with a garish smile like they were no more than a joke heard in passing.
And only now did she realize that she found it far less irritating than she did when she first met you.
The answer to why was unclear, but Wednesday wasn’t sure if that was because she was genuinely unsure of the reasoning behind her decision or because she didn’t want to figure it out.
Your annoying voice thankfully halted her mind’s trajectory.
“Of course, you’re my favorite Addams. You’re my best friend, the only other five-fingered appendage I’ll ever need in my life. Plus, Wednesday hates me so there’s no competition.”
Wednesday was once again stunned by the inane conversations you and Thing have on a daily basis. Some of the talks she’d overheard in the past months could be unironically described as mind-numbing.
Deciding to have some fun to pass the time, she turned to fully face you, running her eyes over your form before speaking.
“I don’t hate you.”
She watched your eyes go wide and you looked at her with some odd form of hope. The corners of her lips twitched.
“I despise you. There’s a difference.”
Your head dropped exaggeratedly, but when you looked up again there was a smile on your face, making any notion of hers disappear.
She couldn’t stand that—the way you were never put off by anything she had to say.
Enid had the same tendency to shrug off her threats, but even she was unnerved when she first met Wednesday. But not you. Wednesday couldn’t think of a single time when anything she said, threat or otherwise, made you uncomfortable or fearful, and there was seldom anything that got under her skin more.
“That was mean, Wednesday. Really mean.” She noticed Thing say something on your shoulder and you gave a playful gasp in response. “Don’t laugh, Thing. That wasn’t funny,” you said, even though you were giggling yourself.
At the sight and sound of your laughter, something strange happened. Something combusted within her, and the flames spread, licking her sternum with an uncomfortable intensity. Like someone crudely lit a match and let it fall inside of her chest, allowing the fire to wreak havoc on her insides. It was unpleasant.
Even more unpleasant was the knowledge that this was not the first time this had happened. And that was but another in the long list of reasons why she shouldn’t have permitted your presence today.
She faced forward abruptly and kept walking, but you entered her peripheral moments later, no doubt ready to bother her with something.
As always, she was proven correct. “Hey, so you said that Crackstone was in that vision with your ancestor, right? And he killed a bunch of outcasts?”
“Correct.”
That mischievous smile she had come to recognize spread across your face, pulling your lips up at a slightly uneven angle.
“What do you say we get a little revenge?”
“And how exactly do you propose we get revenge on a pilgrim that died centuries ago?” she inquired skeptically.
You hummed. “Undecided but you go on ahead and just let the masterminds cook for a bit. I promise we’ll come up with something great.”
You and Thing flashed her a simultaneous thumbs-up, to which she just blinked. Not needing to be told twice, she started walking again, leaving you both to linger behind. Once there was a sufficient distance between you and her, she slowed slightly.
Though she had just made a vital discovery for her case, she figured this brief period of quiet would be better spent unpacking that persistent internal conflagration that flared whenever you were near.
Deigning to use her tried and true investigative process, she tried to start from the beginning, to gather all the information she had and prepare it for analysis, but she immediately got lost because truthfully, she couldn’t pinpoint the start of your assimilation into her daily routine.
Her…acquaintanceship with you made little sense, even to her. Especially to her. The same could also be said about her budding friendship? with Enid, but that was easier to parse.
Enid was her roommate; someone she quite literally couldn’t avoid since they lived together. But you weren’t. You were Thing’s friend, sure, but that didn’t answer the question of why Wednesday was becoming entangled with you as well.
However, looking at it from a logical perspective, it somewhat made sense.
A mutual penchant for mischief and practical jokes is what drew you and Thing together. In that same vein, she supposed that your insatiable appetite for adventure and her unquenchable thirst for triumph put you both on a collision course that neither of you could prevent. Especially in such a creatively stagnant climate as Nevermore.
A rebel and a renegade—two of a kind. You understood her and, as much as she didn’t want to admit it, she understood you.
She just didn’t know how to interpret the unexpected side effects that came with that mutual understanding.
(That was a lie, she realized. Somewhere deep down she knew, but she didn’t want it to mean what she thought it might. After all, she couldn’t possibly be letting someone like you turn her into an apostate to her own beliefs and morals…right?
She thought back to what she said to her mother on her first day, how hypocritical her words looked in the face of this dilemma. God, how pitiful of a circumstance she found herself in.)
Either way, Wednesday had allowed the sparks to ignite, and she knew that any chance she had of tempering the subsequent wildfire it caused was lessening with every moment she knowingly spent with you in her space.
Part of her didn’t want to anyway.
Approaching voices behind her caught her attention. Focusing on the present once more, she listened in.
“That’s an awesome idea, right?” she heard you say lowly.
Wednesday rolled her eyes. Everything was either cool, awesome, or amazing to you. She desperately needed to expand your vocabulary if you were going to be sticking around. For her sanity.
Wet footsteps neared, and you ran ahead of Wednesday, turning to face her with a demeanor resembling that of an excitable puppy. She sped up her pace, but you matched it, even while walking backward.
“Ok, Wednesday, plan secured. You know what I need?”
“A thesaurus?”
You blinked, brows furrowed, then shrugged. “Yeah, probably but I was actually gonna say that I need gasoline, and matches.”
“Well, there’s a hardware store a block down from the Weathervane, you could get gasoline from there. I have the matches covered.”
“Oh?” Your eyebrow quirked, a grin appearing along with it. “You have matches on you?”
“Of course. I carry a box with me everywhere I go.”
Your smile widened.
Wednesday ignored the flames ravaging her organs and asked, “Are you going to tell me what this ‘plan’ is?”
“And ruin the surprise? No. All I’m gonna say is that you should have another song prepared for the unveiling.”
She narrowly avoided rolling her eyes again. Given the materials you needed, Wednesday had a good idea of what you were planning anyway, and thankfully, she had just the song in mind.
The three of you parted ways as you reentered the town proper, you and Thing running off to gather supplies, and Wednesday, after handing her matches over, headed into the square to prepare her cello.
Unsurprisingly, she was the first person there. She sat in the seat by her cello, languidly checking its strings more out of a need for something to do than because she needed to. Her cello was always perfectly tuned.
It didn’t take very long for you to follow, running into the square with a canister of gasoline and a bag of what looked to be gunpowder. She heard a low “let’s blow this fucker back to hell, Thing” before you split up, Thing pouring the gasoline in the base of the statue while you created a trail of black powder from the statue to behind the bleachers.
Wednesday watched you, the familiar feeling of being proven right tugging her lips upward. If nothing else, your flair for the dramatic was commendable.
You both finished and took refuge behind the bleachers just as people started filing in for the ceremony. As the normie high school band set up behind her, she took note of how nobody looked particularly enthused to be here (besides Enid, who would somehow find a way to be excited to watch paint dry).  
Soon, the ceremony was underway, and it was as underwhelming as Wednesday expected it to be. Just a plethora of fake smiles, stale claps, and off-key notes from the laughingstock of a “band” performing with her.
An explosion might not even be enough to resuscitate the audience at this point.
Once the fountain was turned on, Wednesday sent a sideways glance to you and you nodded, signaling something to Thing on the ground below. A trail of smoke and the telltale sound of burning gunpowder followed and Wednesday felt her dead heart begin to pick up pace at the thought of the coming anarchy.
Finally, the looming bronze figure burst into a brilliant ball of flame, the sound of the blast washing away the wretched off-key notes of the incompetent band behind her.
As the panic began to set in, her fingers moved on their own, relishing the familiar feel of the aching, discordant cords of Vivaldi’s Winter.
In moments, Jericho’s empty streets were flooded with people running in terror as sirens wailed in the distance. The harmonious screams that erupted from both outcasts and normies alike were almost more pleasant to her ears than the song that she was playing.
Principal Weems glared at her from afar, eyes narrowed in brewing suspicion, and Wednesday stared right back, lips coiling into a poisonous smile.
Tearing her eyes away from the principal, she peered through the haze of the smoke toward the bleachers. You were watching her with wide, awestruck eyes and a smile. You only looked away briefly to give Thing a fist bump before turning back toward her, but her gaze never faltered from you. Even with all of the glorious chaos happening around her.
That horrible, detestable feeling in her chest returned with a vengeance, blazing brighter than the raging fire to her right. But in this moment, she welcomed it, let it fuel her as the music reached its climax.
As the warm orange glow of the flames reflected off the raw excitement and amazement in your eyes and her treacherous song came to its end, Wednesday recognized that perhaps neither hatred nor disdain was quite the right word to describe how she felt for you after all.
And perhaps becoming a heretic and a hypocrite wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world after all (though it would certainly be close). 
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soupbabe · 1 year
Note
Can I get some head canons of The Sinclair Brothers, Bubba Saywer, Martin Mathias and RZ Myers with a reader who sits in the weirdest position casually. Like reader is just sitting in an arm chair with one leg hanging off the side of it and the other on the cushion or something?
Slashers With A Reader Who Won't Sit Normally
Featuring: Bo Sinclair, Lester Sinclair, Vincent Sinclair, Martin Mathias, and RZ! Michael Myers
I NEVER GET TO WRITE FOR MARTIN THANK YOU FOR INCLUDING MY BOY <3
Tagging: @rottent33th, @slaasherslut, @the-pinstriped-hood
Lester Sinclair
- He formed a habit of sitting in less conveniental ways because of you
- Throughout his time knowing you, he's seen how content you are even if half of your body is off of the chair
- It made him curious
- All it took was one joke and now he can't help but lay his head on your lap as he practically take up the rest of the couch
- It kinda forced you to start sitting up right
Bo Sinclair
- Oh he's very confused to why you don't just sit normally
- It's a small pet peeve of his, but I think you get some leeway because he likes you more
- "Stop putting your feet up there, gonna ruin the damn couch if you keep doing that."
- Though I think he lets you rest your head or legs onto him
- Sometimes when he's resting, he'll mindlessly grab your legs or drum on them
Vincent Sinclair
- He also sits weirdly, but it's all very crouched
- Vincent has a tendency to make himself the smallest in the room
- So if his knees aren't up to his chest, then he'll spend as much time as he needs to to make sure that's possible
- He has a mentality of "if you don't question me then I won't question you" when it comes to how you sit
- Though he does have a slight pet peeve of how much space you take up, but it's nothing that'd affect how he thinks of you
Martin Mathias
- I think Martin has a weird attitude about it: he has no issues when you do it, but he gets embarrassed when he does it
- Similarly to Vincent, Martin likes to crouch and make himself small as possible, but he was never allowed to as a kid
- Seeing you do it and encouraging him to sit however he'd like, gets him excited but he's always hesitant to do it
- It's like a secret when he expresses himself with you, he almost begs you to not tell anyone of what he's like when he's alone with you
- But he'll admit, it's refreshing being around someone who understands him and lets him have his fun
RZ! Michael Myers
- He's the only other one that sits relatively normal (though he always spreads his legs way more than necessary-)
- And he doesn't care about how you sit, if you take up room, he's just going to make room
- Absolutely no issues to lifting up half of your body so he can sit next to you, completely ignoring your objections and confusion
- I also just think that he has so spatial awareness
- Like there's too many times to count where he bumped into your leg that was dangling off of a chair
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dy6nsty · 3 months
Note
Can I request sleep token x reader with a reader who is accident prone? Today alone i have slid on ice, smacked my head off a shelf, and stabbed myself with a comb.
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I LOVE THIS PROMPT. YES, YES YOU CAN‼️I also hope you’re doing good after all that..
Sleep Token x GN! reader who has a tendency to get injured
Relationship— Romantic
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Vessel:
Suddenly has eyes in the back of his head. Knows you’re picking something up. “Put it down.”
Leaves you alone for a couple of minutes and comes back to chaos. Chaos in this scenario was you breaking something.
Blueprints things in his head to figure out if there’s anything that could possibly put you out of trouble.
Was considering getting you one of those child leashes so he can keep a better eye on you.
Follows you around sometimes to make sure you don’t injure yourself or break something. Watching you bump into 70% of things you come across.
Puts rubber counter protectors on surfaces with sharp or hard corners, just so you won’t bang into them on accident.
If you can’t walk in a straight line (I can’t do it either don’t worry guys! 😊)— he’ll help you get around. “Left- right! RIGHT!”
His worst enemy is winter and spring. We have icy grounds than slippery grass. But is also your frenemy.
Is now stalked up with bandaids, glue, tape and other necessities he might need for the future with you. Which is probably a lot.
If you come to him with an injury he’ll let out a long sigh before asking what happened. Let’s you ramble on about how you’ve gotten hurt now while he fixes you up.
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II:
Call him the gigglesaurus at this point. Will watch you stumble than fall and start cackling before realizing he’s not supposed to laugh..
Likes the chaos it can bring! But he still gets a mini panic attack when he realizes you’ve disappeared from you once were: beside him.
Learned how to treat wounds, bruises, and stuff because of how often it started happening. Also learned how to fix mirrors!
Wants to know all of the dumb or serious stories you have. He’s all for it.
Likes to keep an arm around your waist to ensure you won’t get into any inconvenience.
Tries to help you with tasks you might accidentally fuck up. Reaching for things, organizing glasses, cleaning, or even will escort you around areas so you don’t trip over your own feet!
Counts up how many bruises or any marks you have at the end of the day. If he notices a new one he’ll ask what happened. If it happened in a dumb way he just stifles a laugh.
Watches you from afar sometimes to make sure nothings happen so far. If he does see you get hurt he’ll rush over to see what’s happened, again.
Feels like he’s on a news channel at this point. Honestly wonders if you have some sort of curse to how often he’s found you in these exact scenes.
Does not trust you holding glass, plastic, porcelain, or metal objects. He’ll hold them with you but he’s not wanting you to break any of those by falling over, or maybe even dropping them on yourself.
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III:
Stays serious about it but once saw you run into a door and almost lost his shit. Wanted to laugh so hard.
Keeps bandaids, a small thing of bandage wrap + tape, and tissue in his pockets. It’s become a habit.
Carries you around areas that have many things cluttered on the ground so nothing will end up broken.
Trusts you enough to look away and not keep an eye on you 24/7 but still has a physical reflex whenever he hears a crash, bang, or a small sound of something colliding.
Often times will try to fix any messed you might’ve caused. Hiding any evidence that something had happened.
Kisses any minor injuries you get. “It hurts? Want me to kiss it so it feels better?”
Deals with your injuries or things you might’ve smashed, asks how it was caused so he can prevent them from happening further on.
Moves things around if he’s noticed it’s a common occurrence for you to bump into it with the object in the room / it’s placement.
Will take over / help you with certain scenarios if it becomes a problem to where you always end up hurt afterwards.
Warms you about things he sees coming your way: “Wall, you’re gonna walk into it.”, “There’s a plate of glasses, don’t walk into it.”
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IV:
Feels like superman sometimes when it comes to you. Steadies things in your hand if he notices you’re unbalanced.
Will also laugh at you. Unless you’re bleeding. He’ll run over to make sure everything’s all right.
Stocks up on ice packs and replaceable items for ones you might knock over later on.
Makes sure you won’t knock into anyone while your walking, or into anything.
Starts following you around when he can to make sure that you’re not getting into any trouble.
Also an enemy with winter. Especially if you want to try any winter sports. You can try but he might mentally face palm if you get ran over by a kid in a sled.
Starts requesting for plastic cups instead of glass. He can’t risk fancy glasses being broken any longer.
He gets into trouble in his own way, but he swears he’s more safe than you.
Picks you up and carrie’s you away when he senses that something just might happen. Spidey senses over here!!!
He can’t walk in a straight line so your both screwed. Your bumping into each other like you have sea legs.
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i’m sorry if this turned out a little bad! i’m currently on the verge of sleep but rlly wanted to finish this! ^^
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xxxdreamscapexxx · 21 days
Text
Sacrifices series: Chapter 3: Face to face with a monster
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Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader
Word count: 8k
Series Summary: After closing the Darkhold, Wanda struggled to find her place in the word. Until she met you that is. And in you, she found hope. But the past has a way of coming back and she’s faced with an impossible choice once again. A choice that’s going to break her heart. Chapter summary: Finding the layer, doesn't mean she's captured the monster, who was terrorizing the city and Wanda needs to see you at least once, before she has to go back to her hunt, but it seems the sorcerer has plans of his own...
Warning: angst!; emotional trauma; Hurt - No Comfort ; Blood, human sacrifice, gory details of a mutilated body, dark magic... violence, possession, manipulation; That should be it, but in case I missed anything, please let me know. Also, Reader will be making a very small appearance in this chapter, but she has a significant role to play in the future. Chapter 1; Chapter 2; Chapter 3
Wanda dropped the piles of books in her trunk, closing it with a loud thud as she looked at the building in the distance. She could see agents coming in and out, carrying objects, while others were escorting people out. Even from afar, she could see those people were scared, worried where they’ll live next, how they’ll afford it. They held their children close, protective, even in their fear. So brave. She knew what it was like to be displaced, to have your whole life ripped from you, to watch it all crumble down in an instant. She knew how much courage it took, to make the next step, and the one after that… She didn’t know how she’ll interview all these people tomorrow. She didn’t know if she’ll be able to carry the burden of their pain and grief as well. Yet, there was no one else to do it. Only she knew what to look for, what to ask… Only she knew how to get the information that even they didn’t know they could have.
The prospect of invading so many minds, of taking on so many lives filled her with pain. All she wanted was to curl in a ball, her head in your lap. She wanted to feel your hands run through her hair, soothing and soft. She wanted to feel you close once more, to have you fully wrapped around her, until she could forget that this ever happened. She wanted peace. She wanted what was stolen from her. But she couldn’t have any of it back, until she defeats this monster first… Even after being in his apartment, after coming so close to him, she had no idea how to find him. He had left no clues as to his next move, or his plans. None that she could see. But the agents will go more thoroughly through his things and have a report for her by tomorrow morning. Perhaps they’ll find something. Until then, she was free to go home and rest. But the compound, with its grey walls felt nothing like the cozy home she had with you. Her room never felt as welcoming as the shared bedroom she had with you. It was all so empty without you. She found no joy in cooking now, since she had no one to share her meals with. She found no joy in walks, since it always reminded her of the days she’d take you and Bella out to different parks to walk and play… Even her sitcoms brought little comfort. Yes, no one got hurt in them, it wasn’t that kind of show. But the real world was nothing like a sitcom. People got hurt every day, they were hungry and poor and lived on streets with nothing but the mercy of strangers to help them face the next day. There were so many in pain. When she remembered that, it was always so hard to fight back the inner voice that told her that she could fix it all. She was the Scarlet Witch after all. She was born to rule the world. It was her birthright. Her destiny. She could make sure that no one got hurt ever again, that no child was ever orphaned, no one ever had to leave their loved ones, no one had to get hurt. She could do that. Wanda could feel the magic rising within her, the raw power of chaos opening up doors for her that were closed to everyone else. She could do anything. She could win this fight with the snap of her fingers. She could erase evil from this world. And they would all thank her for it. Those poor people that she watched get evacuated. They would all be so grateful. They would worship her, just as they were meant to…
Wanda shook her head, blinking a few times, until her eyes focused once more. Red whisps of magic were swirling around her, her blackened fingers moving through the air. She was casting. Not that she knew what. But she knew she needed to get her emotions under control. Keeping the darkness at bay was much harder, when it promised everything she ever wanted. She could have Pietro back. Her boys. And her parents. She could win you back too. If that didn’t work, she could always make you forget she ever left… “No!” She shook her head in defiance. She knew better than to listen to those thoughts. She crawled her way back from an emotional hell, fighting such thoughts. She knew better than to trust them. With a final glance towards the grey building, that seemed to stand like a hungry giant over the people below, she got into her car and drove away. She was done for today. And now she could finally see you. She could finally drive back to your house, she could see you again, hear your voice… She could feel human again for a few minutes. The redhead drove slowly, her windows rolled down, so she could breathe in the fresh air. She needed to get the stench of that place out of her nose, out of her hair and her clothes. She felt dirty. And she almost felt bad for making her way to you, covered in such filth. Then again, it’s not like she was going to knock on your door. Then again… Why shouldn’t she? Why should she deny herself this one thing, this one kindness, when she has sacrificed so much already? What was to stop her from knocking? From walking in… Who could stand in her path, should she choose to pull you in her embrace. Who had the power to stop her? She could kiss you again. Taste you and feel you, like she’s been dreaming of. She could…
“No!” She almost screamed, hitting the breaks. It was just in time too, a pedestrian was crossing the street, standing frozen in fear of her approaching car. She was seconds away from hitting him. She almost didn’t stop. She had barely even seen him. It took the man a moment to get a hold of himself, before he ran the rest of the way to the other end of the street, looking back at her with fearful, yet angry eyes. Wanda couldn’t blame him. But she also couldn’t quite bring herself to care. She could tell that something was wrong. She wasn’t usually like this. Distracted, careless, cold. She didn’t have such dark thoughts either. Not usually. She was much better at controlling them. She studied calming techniques, meditation, she went through every enlightenment course she could find, looking for a way to keep herself in check, but it was especially hard this time. There was just this voice, in the back of her head, a low murmur that had found its way in and just wouldn’t leave her alone. How long has she been hearing it? This voice. Why was it trying to get her to come to you? Except… That’s not quite what it wanted. You were just a suggestion. A means to an end. A way for her to give in. Yes, that’s what it wanted. It wanted her to give in. Wanted her to unleash her powers. Wanted to set the Scarlet Witch free. It wanted her to use that magic inside. It wanted her to let all that chaos loose and never stop.
The honking of cars behind her startled Wanda out of her thoughts and into motion. She sped away from the spot with a heavy heart and she contemplated if she should even come see you tonight. It was dangerous in her state. It was almost reckless, tempting herself like that. Especially with how off she’d been feeling and acting. It would be a mistake… She was once again pulled from her thoughts, when she saw something strange out of the corner of her eye. She was driving past some neighbourhood, all the houses framing the road. But something was wrong. She could feel eyes on her. She could see old ladies in their kitchens, looking out the windows, mothers with strollers, not even looking at where they were going, too busy staring at her… Men, who openly followed her car, as she drove. And then something else. A man with eyes so black, there was no white left in them and a face so sunken in, it looked stolen from a cadaver. A man, who seemed to smile at her, as if seeing an old friend, before he turned away from the road and walked away. Wanda hit the brakes so hard, she almost hit her head on the steering wheel from the force. She felt shaken, like she had witnessed something important, something she should be better at naming. Like she was walking in the dark, her eyes closed, allowing herself to be led. She realized that this place was not her usual route to your house, that she’s never even been here. Just as she realized that whoever this man was, he knew to expect her. He had felt her presence here, known of her arrival, he was watching her, before his eyes ever fell upon her… But how? She pulled the car over and locked it, using her magic to seal the trunk, just to make sure that the books inside wouldn’t “disappear” while she was chasing whatever this was. She had to walk a little, to reach the spot she first saw him, and she looked around nervously to see where he might have went. The eyes of strangers followed every step she took, not even considering to hide their actions, yet none of them approached her. Wanda could almost smell that same sweet, yet repulsive smell she had first felt when she entered the building she was inspecting. The one where He used to live. It was faint, but unmistakable and a strange sense of longing washed over her. A desire to breathe in deeply. To let herself be intoxicated. The voice in her head salivated at the prospect. Hungry.
She decided to ignore it. Pushing back against the low whisper, that told her to give in. Instead she started to walk in the direction she saw him turn. Beyond the first street, the houses started to look poorer, the yards smaller, the windows covered. She could see dogs sometimes, uneasy and nervous, barking in warning, but never really getting close. They were scared. Just like the people who lived here. But scared of whom? The sorcerer? She couldn’t tell. As she walked, the voice in the back of her head, the one she knew to be the witch within, kept warning her. There was danger here. She could feel it. There was darkness too. And the eyes that followed her on the street, seemed to watch her here too. It made her feel surrounded on all sides.
“It’s a trap.” Her inner voice warned. She could feel herself tensing up, readying for a battle, all her senses on high alert. Her magic was just at the tip of her fingers, making her eyes glow that deep scarlet she knew so well, yet there was no one around. At this point she almost hoped someone would try to make a move. Give her an excuse to release all that pent up energy inside, yet no one did. Eventually the street came to a sudden end, a single entrance to a building signifying her only way forward. The door had a padlock and a rusty chain to keep out intruders, runes covering the links in protection. “Pathetic.” Wanda laughed bitterly, the words loud enough to be heard if someone was nearby. That same energy she felt swirling just beneath the surface suddenly came forth, pouring out of her in a burst and shooting forward. It crashed against the building, taking the whole door and parts of the surrounding wall with it, a loud bang ringing in her ears as it fell to the ground. Dust flew everywhere and she waited for it to settle, not wanting to breathe any of it in, before she finally walked forward. The ridiculous chain was still in takt, the runes glowing a dull grey. She laughed humourlessly once more, stepping inside the building and looking around, her steps echoing off the walls. “One chain?” She called out in a challenge. “I can take down the whole building.”
Her voice rang clearly in the large space, that seemed to have been a factory or a storage hanger once, but no response actually came. There was just silence, mixed with that sweet, yet repulsive smell again. “It’s too easy.” Her inner awareness warned, a low hiss in her ear that she felt an almost compulsive need to swat away, even if it was coming entirely from within. Met with no response, Wanda walked further inside, studying the building wearily. In all honesty, she was getting impatient with this whole charade. She didn’t want to be here, playing hide and seek with a psychopath. She wanted to be at the house with you. She wanted you in her arms again, wanted to have you in a tight embrace and breathe you in. Wanted, no craved your warmth against her stiffened, aching muscles. She explored the floor, impatiently walking around, being met with nothing but decay and ruin. There was nothing but old junk, dust and the unmistakable signs of rats and pigeons taking over the building and claiming it as their own. It looked abandoned. But she wouldn’t be here if it really was abandoned, would she? He wouldn’t try to put protective runes, if there wasn’t something important here.
With that in her mind, Wanda summoned her magic, using it to propel herself in the air. From above, Wanda could see that there was nothing special in this room and she moved quietly into the next, passing through a small hallway, only to find a man hunched over a pot, stirring the content inside. He had his back to her and for some reason she felt the need to sneak closer, even though it was impossible for him not to know she was here, considering all the noise she made. “Welcome, Miss Maximoff.” He said, without turning, “I’ve been expecting you.” The greeting startled Wanda for a moment, making her stop mid-flight, before she moved forward, flying over him and the strange liquid he stirred, murky and  filled with bits and pieces of something she couldn’t see clearly enough to name. What she could recognize however was that distinct smell that she felt ever since she left his apartment. That repulsive, yet attractive smell that urged her to breathe it in deeply. That is, until she came closer and Wanda realized that the small objects Wanda was observing, were actually eyes.
“Isn’t it poetic? Stolen eyes, to grant you stolen sight!” He said with a small giggle. “That’s what you used that poor man’s eyes for?” Wanda asked, her voice shaking. She tried not to look at the ugly pot, filled with the murky liquid or to picture the man on the wall, with his empty sockets and a gaping hole in his chest. “Poor man?” The Sorcerer laughed. “He was hardly an innocent.” He hinted. “He liked to watch. In fact it’s all he wanted.” The man continued, words slow, as if explaining to a child. “Do you know how many women they forced, just so he could watch?” The Sorcerer asked, raising his hand, so he could make an obscene gesture, that imitated self-pleasure. It made Wanda sick to her stomach. “So you killed him?” She asked. “How noble.” Her voice was mocking and full of disgust. “I thought it was rather poetic in a way. He liked to watch. And thanks to him, I now see everything.” He said in a smooth voice. “Everything?” Wanda scoffed. “Aren’t you a bit full of yourself?” “I saw you coming.” He retorted in that same calm demeanour. “The all-powerful Scarlet Witch.” He said with a purr. “If you wanted to see me, there are far easier ways.” Wanda replied. She wanted to bait him, wanted to know his plans, while she still had him here. She knew that if it came to a battle, he may not survive. Once she unleashed her powers there was no telling what will happen and she needed to know why he did what he did. Needed to know if there was a greater power behind him. Truly, she needed to know why he did all these terrible acts. Needed to know if he was the monster that he was presenting himself to be. “But this one is rather effective.” He smiled at her. “I saw you look into my apartment. Saw you take things that don’t belong to you.” He accused. “How did you see me there? I was alone.” Wanda narrowed her eyes. “All living things need to eat and drink, Miss Maximoff.” The man explained. “And once they do, they’re mine to use.” “That’s disgusting.” She spat, her hands balling into fists. “Oh, don’t play innocent now. You’ve studied magic. I believe one Agatha Harkness had a very impressive collection on the subject. You’ve read her books. You know there is always a price to be paid.” He spoke patiently, as if he could somehow convince her that he was right. “Well, perhaps not for you…” He trailed off. “With control over pure chaos, you don’t need to pay that price, do you? But the rest of us… We still have to follow the rules.” “Trust me, I’ve paid…” Wanda growled, the control over her emotions fraying. “I’ve lost more than you can imagine.” “Ah, yes, of course.” He nodded slowly. “You and I are kindred spirits in that regard.” “Never compare yourself to me.” Wanda spoke through gritted teeth, the urge to hurt him growing stronger. She could hardly hold herself back, desperate to end all this. She felt so tired.
“But it’s true.” He argued, raising his finger in the air, signalling for her to be patient. “I too lost my parents very young.” He began, taking a step closer to her. “And the world is rarely kind to orphans, Miss Maximoff. Had to go hungry, dressed in the rags others gave away to the orphanage. Had to go to school in them too. Other children are hardly kind to their peers.” He lowered his head for a moment, countless cruelties passing through his memory and flooding Wanda’s thoughts. “But I found an escape.” He continued. “I found that knowledge truly does give you power. I found my first real spell when I was 16. It was just a stupid trick. Turning sugar into salt.” He laughed humourlessly. “It was useless for more than a prank, but it opened my eyes. There was real magic in this world. I knew it now. I had the proof for it. My history teacher was stirring it right into her coffee! So I looked. Researched spells and grimoires, travelled on foot, or hitchhiked to chase down any lead for real magic wielders, looked for amulets and enchanted objects. I built my collection, knowing that one day, I’ll use it to make the world better!” He exclaimed, coming to the culmination of his little speech. “But then I found something better. I found the cult of Salvain. I thought it was nothing more than a cult to a non-existing God, but I went to the forest of perpetual silence, where his followers live. It wasn’t easy, trust me, but I made it there.  Have you ever experienced mind-numbing nothingness, Miss Maximoff? Have you ever been in a place so quiet, that every sound is swallowed, to a point you can’t even scream, because nothing actually reaches your ears? It was horrible. I was lost in there for days, walking aimlessly and praying for death to mercifully take me. I was dehydrated, hungry, never met another soul… And just when I thought I would die, I heard him. I heard his voice.” He said with fire in his eyes, his face betraying real emotion for the first time. “He’s been speaking to me ever since. Helping me. Guiding me. I let him inside me and he saved me. He showed me the way to salvation and he’s going to save everyone.” He explained with what appeared to be genuine excitement and appreciation, his words hanging in the air for a long moment. “You’re actually insane…” Wanda finally spoke, her head tilting to the side. “Oh, but I’m not.” The sorcerer said with a grin. “He’s here.” He said, closing his eyes in bliss. “He knows you.” He whispered teasingly, stepping closer still. He was just a few feet away now, giving Wanda a chance to take a closer look.
Underneath the grey skin and sunken eyes, underneath the painfully thin, bony face, he was actually a young man. So young. More a boy, than a sorcerer and a monster. But there was very little of him left. She could see the corruption of dark magic spreading over him like a disease. It was probably what ate away at his mind. “Don’t you want to speak to him, Miss Maximoff?” He asked, his big eyes fixing her in a predatory way. “He’s been waiting to speak to you, you know.” “How about this…” Wanda started. “You surrender yourself quietly, and I’ll talk to him.” She suggested, hoping to be able to contain him without having to hurt him. Despite his seemingly docile appearance, he had managed to kill several people already. She couldn’t be sure what he was actually capable of. “I won’t resist.” He told her gently, hands raising in the air in a gesture of surrender. “You shouldn’t resist either. Can’t you feel him calling you? He’s been talking to you for a while now.” Wanda thought of saying something sassy in return, but the words died down in her throat, before she could utter them. The sorcerer leaped forward, grasping her head on either side, his long, bony fingers digging into her skin. “Just listen!” He hissed, before a blast of red magic pushed him away from her and he fell to the ground. She heard him gasp from the impact, his right hand clutching his side painfully, but when she looked at his face, he looked amused. “He told me you wouldn’t just hear us out.” The sorcerer said bitterly. “But thankfully, Salvain has a solution for everything.” He giggled “What did you do?” Wanda growled, her teeth bared. This was the confession she was waiting for. His next sacrifice, his next victim, his plans. Once he gave those away, she could be done with all this. “You don’t feel it yet?” He asked with a raised brow. “You have a strong mind. Pushing him away all this time. But even you can’t resist him forever.” “What are you talking about?” She asked, feeling a bit dizzy as a wave of that horrible smell hit her nostrils again and she had to put her hand to her mouth and nose just so she wouldn’t gag. Instead of a response, he waited, circling her now, though he kept a safe distance. His watchful eyes seemed to never leave her and she was once again feeling dizzy from the way he circled her. It was almost like vertigo, but it came with the unpleasant return of that nagging voice in her head, that wanted to seduce her. She could stop all this right now. She could just blast him with her magic. He had attacked her once, had he not? She could claim his death on self-defence and leave all of this behind. No one had to know what happened. There were no witnesses, no cameras…
No! She had to shake the thought away. This wasn’t her way. She could easily immobilize him and let S.H.I.E.L.D deal with him. She didn’t need to hurt him. She was not going to become a killer. But the Scarlet Witch is a killer, a thought flashed through Wanda’s mind. And even though it seemed like it came from within, even though it had her voice, she finally realized that it wasn’t. There was a presence in the back of her mind, a voice that whispered in her ear, disrupting her thoughts. “Now you get it.” The sorcerer smiled, smug and self-satisfied. “How are you doing that?” Wanda hissed at him, fighting the urge to slap his smile away. She could easily knock him down. He seemed so weak, so fragile… It would be so easy to just… Wanda shook the thoughts away again, starting to get angry at this stupid game they were playing. “I’m not doing anything.” The man in front of her responded. “I have no power to influence you.” He told her softly. “Ordinary humans are easy, but you…” He shook his head. “You’re strong. I had to find a way to help you hear Him. ” “What did you do?” Wanda asked again, her voice shaking so much it sounded like a growl. She was losing her patience. Each second that passed between them felt like an eternity, fraying her nerves. Why not just be done with him? Whatever he planned would simply be left unfinished if he were to die… No, he could have accomplices, acolytes… She couldn’t afford to leave this unfinished. Not when so much was at stake. “I only helped you open your mind to him. That’s all.” He said with a surprisingly gentle voice. “I’m only helping you see. That’s what he wants as well. For you to see the good he can do in this world.” He said with a look of longing in his eyes. “He can do anything. Give you anything. You just have to let him come through…”
As the sorcerer spoke, Wanda’s vision slowly started to blur. The dizzy feeling she’d been fighting, suddenly overtook her and she felt like she was fainting. Except that wasn’t quite it either. It was more like she was being pulled underwater, supressed so deep within herself that she no longer felt one with her body. She was floating within her subconsciousness, a passenger in her own body. Her clothes were slowly changing, her comfortable pants and soft sweater that she wore suddenly fading and being replaced by her old suit. The boots and tights came first, her magic working its way up, red swirling around her and weaving the tight corset into place, her old cape flowing down her shoulders… Magic weaved itself in the places where the suit had torn, glowing… Then came her crown. It glowed in the same scarlet as her magic, surrounding her in unnatural light that looked both terrifying and regal. She’d never seen herself like that. She always felt like Wanda. But this was the Scarlet Witch. This is the destiny she kept rejecting.
“Why fight it, Wanda? This is who you were meant to be.” A voice creeped up on her, ringing all around her. She turned frantically to look for the source, but there was no one. The sorcerer was still in his spot, staring in awe of her, a deeply unsettling smile on his face. “Show yourself.” She challenged, sounding more scared than she liked, hoping to draw out the voice. “If you want to see me, you’ll have to invite me into your world.” Salvain said in a low voice. “Invite you, huh? So you need someone to let you through.” Wanda retorted, feeling some of her confidence return. Whatever entity this was, he couldn’t move into the world on his own. “Not just anyone, Wanda. I need you. Gorden over there was a good servant. He did as he was told, performed the rituals and cast the spells, but he’s not strong enough. His body is failing. He can’t pierce the veil and let me in.” The voice explained in a monotonous tone, as if talking about the weather and not a life. “But you can.” He said, a trace of a smile in his tone. A trace of urgency. “And what makes you think I will?” Wanda lifted her chin defiantly, her lips trembling in barely-contained anger. “Because I can give you everything you’ve ever wanted, Wanda. I can bring back all your friends. I can bring back Vision… You can have your brother back! Your parents too. Your boys! I can make it so they never, ever died. I can make sure they never do again.” He said seductively, his voice bouncing around her skull with all the weight of his promises.
“I tried that!” Wanda hissed, her fists balling at the memory of Westview. “It doesn’t work. It’s not real.” She shook her head. “As powerful as you are, Scarlet Witch, you’ll always need your magic to sustain them. But I… Once I’m in this world, I can bring them back, make them real… I can make anything you want real… You can have your whole family back. I can give you back Vision. Or Y/N. Or even both?” He chuckled. “Both of them, so willing and loving… You’ll want for nothing, Wanda.” “No!” Wanda growled, but to her surprise, her body moved. Her fingers glowed, whisps of magic swirling around them slowly. “It seems your counterpart disagrees.” Salvain purred. “No! You can’t do that!” Wanda’s eyes widened, filled with panic. “I’m not doing anything.” He chimed in, amused. “You are doing this.” He explained. “It’s ok, Wanda. I understand. Aren’t you tired? Aren’t you so utterly exhausted of having to fight for a modicum of peace? For a place in the world? For even a crumb of love… Aren’t you angry? At all the injustice in this world? At the people who turn a blind eye to suffering, to poverty, to strife? You can make it stop! You’ve always had the power to stop it. You can rule this world… But you don’t want that, do you Wanda? I understand… I can help…” “Stop it!” Wanda screamed, her voice bouncing around in her head. She could see more of her magic seeping out of her, now a hurricane of red that swirled around her, building and waiting to be unleashed. The sorcerer, Gorden, was on his knees, awe-stricken at the feet of the Scarlet Witch. His bony face looked even more sickly in the red glow of her power, yet he seemed so at peace. “It’s too late now, Wanda.” Salvain sounded almost smug. “It has already started. Gorden laid the path, now you will open the door and soon… I will walk in the world…” Wanda listened to his words, the terror inside her building at the prospect of what was coming. She had never heard of this entity, had no idea of his powers and if he could truly influence reality the way that he claimed. She hardly knew if that voice in her head was real or if this was all in her head and she was about to unleash her powers upon the world and destroy it. She only knew that she needed to regain her composure and her control over herself if she wanted to stand a chance against him. She focused her thoughts, ignoring his voice and the endless tirade that served no other purpose than to hurt her further and she tried to gain back some of her control, but every time she did, she felt herself being pushed away, her path blocked by an invisible force.
“It’s useless Wanda. There’s nowhere to go…” He chimed in, making her eyes snap open in annoyance. Her power was building, crackling in the air around her like a storm, the pressure in the room growing. If she unleashed that, she would rupture the veil between worlds, creating a passage for him and God only knows what else and she wouldn’t be able to stop any of it. “You’re not in control anymore.” He reminded gleefully. The words bounced around Wanda’s head, heavy and mocking in their finality. The magic that swirled around her now rose to filling the whole warehouse, thundering and waiting to be unleashed. It was almost time and she wouldn’t be able to stop it. She would once again fail. She would fail to protect you, to protect all the innocent people of this world, she would fail herself and her legacy… She would once again be a monster. With that realization Wanda broke down, falling to her knees and letting the tears that she’d been holding back for days finally fall freely. “I’m sorry…” She sobbed, her head bowing down in defeat. “Don’t be sorry, Wanda. You’re doing exactly what you were meant to.” Salvain said with a surprisingly gentle voice, as if talking to a child. “I wasn’t talking to you!” Wanda shouted suddenly, looking up. The Scarlet Witch was now floating, the magic and particles of dust swirling around her. She was getting ready to unleash it all. “I’m sorry I rejected you. I’m sorry I pushed you down and treated you like a disease to be cured. I’m sorry, that I pretended like you weren’t here all this time…” Her words died down into sobs, as she looked through her own eyes, a prisoner of her body now taken over by another. “I’m sorry I made you feel like this all this time.” She whispered. Wanda shook with sobs, her heart beating wildly in her chest, her thoughts a frantic mess that she could hardly distinguish anymore. She thought this would be the end. And selfishly, she regretted that she’ll spend it away from you, when suddenly a red glow illuminated her face and a gentle hand rested under her chin, urging her to look up.
There she was. The Scarlet Witch, in all her glory, was standing above her, her features unreadable. Salvain’s voice had quieted down, pushed aside by the presence of the witch. “I’m so sorry.” Wanda whispered again, her face wet with tears. She wasn’t sure how this moment was possible, both of them face to face, as her body continued to float into the air, magic crackling and threatening to be unleashed at any second, but as she looked at the face of the Scarlet Witch, she didn’t care. “I should have never neglected you.” She whispered at the witch, her green eyes full of regret. “It’s not just me you were hurting.” The witch said gently, her tone a stark contrast to her stronger, more defined features. “This rift between us, hurts us both. We were never meant to be separate. You and I are one, Wanda. The divide leaves vulnerable.” She explained, her strong hands helping Wanda to her feet. “We can only do this together.” “But…” Wanda looked confused. She was still in the air, or her body was, summoning more magic, the walls of the warehouse groining with the force of it. “We are meant to rule the world, Wanda. It is our destiny.” The witch reminded seriously. “Do you really think I’ll give away our throne?” She tilted her head, a sly smile starting to play on her lips. “So you have a plan.” Wanda questioned, an eyebrow rising. “No… We have a plan.” The witch corrected, her smile growing. She offered Wanda one of her hands, their palms touching. The feeling was electrifying. Wanda felt a surge of power pass through her, making her gasp. Than the Scarlet witch moved closer, their faces so close together, their noses almost touching and a warmth spread over her, a kind of relief that made her muscles relax. She allowed the witch even closer, her counterparts free hand wrapping around her waist in a gentle, confident motion. The softness in the other woman startled Wanda. She always saw the witch as ruthless and merciless… Thought of her rough and unforgiving. She always resented her for it as well. “Those were the traits you needed.” The witch suddenly said, a knowing look in her eyes, when she saw Wanda’s confused expression. “That’s not all that I am.” She said, her eyes softening once more.
She guided Wanda even closer, their bodies making contact and making Wanda shiver. The witch’s presence gave her this inexplicable sense of surety. Then calmness. And with it, a deep sense of belonging. And then a longing for more. Her hands wrapped around the witch’s shoulders, as if they were partners in a dance, strangely close and intimate in the bubble of privacy the Scarlet Witch had made within their mind. Their breathing synched together, their eyes locked and for a moment Wanda had the strangest urge to kiss the other woman, to run her hands through her hair and down her back and she felt that desire reflected in the features so identical to hers. On instinct she closed her eyes, lips parting slowly as she leaned in, their foreheads touching for a brief moment, before she tried leaning in even further, only to find the space empty. Wanda opened her eyes to find herself alone and she blinked a few times, questioning if this wasn’t just a figment of her imagination, before she felt that same sense of surety wash over her, her mind opening up and expanding to accept the witch within herself and allow her to merge, just as they were always meant to. Her mind’s eye suddenly opened to the universe as the knowledge and power of the Scarlet Witch bled into her, connecting them, until they were whole. As they merged, Wanda felt more powerful, more alive, more confident than she ever had been in her life. She could finally sense the real, raw strength of chaos magic and she opened her eyes to find herself back into her body, the center of a hurricane of magic that swirled around her and threatened to tear down the whole building.
Without wasting too much time, she focussed her strength, guiding that magic into a single point in the floor, feeling the vail between our world and the next start to bend under her strength. The ground shook and groaned, but gave way to her will, a portal starting to open, rimmed in scarlet. Beneath her Gorden had recovered from his stupor, stopped staring at her in awe and moved closer to the portal that formed, arms open in welcome to the God he had been serving all this time. Wanda sensed the approach of something powerful, something monstrous, as it neared the portal she was holding open and she braced herself for the moment he would pass. He paused some distance from the portal, the world on the other end black and filled with nothingness, before he surged through it. He passed smoothly, landing on the dirty floor of the warehouse, the portal closing shut behind him. Dazed by the strength the journey had taken, he didn’t seem to notice the trap of the Scarlet Witch and started to stand, feeling carried by weak, almost trembling legs. He looked around, winded, breathless, his eyes landing on Wanda, who used her powers to land on the floor softly, her red eyes staring at him. “You made the right choice, Wanda.” He started to say, his voice coming out rough and distorted. It sounded nothing like him, he realized and with a distrustful gaze, started to look down at himself.
That’s when he saw it. The skinny legs, frail frame, bony fingers connected to dry, vainy hands… And a whisper… Except this time it wasn’t the distant voice of a far-away acolyte, but a voice inside his own head. The voice of Gorden Shaw… Salvain felt himself smothered in Gordon’s body, so weak, so frail… A mortal shell too fragile to contain his strength. He had but a fraction of his abilities here and he wanted to free himself from the uncomfortable confines this body provided, but he seemed unable to leave, rattling inside his cage like a wild animal, before his eyes landed once again on Wanda. “How dare you!?” Salvain roared, realization painting Gorden’s bony face. “Release me, at once!” He demanded, his voice a growl. “I’m not holding you.” Wanda smirked. “You cannot exist in this realm without a body and yours didn’t make the trip… I’m afraid you and Gordon will have to share.” “You tricked me!” He exclaimed, enraged. “I did nothing of the sort.” Wanda retorted calmly. “Creating a passage isn’t easy and the veil has many layers. I lifted enough for your consciousness to pass through, but your body… Alas, that was left behind.” Wanda explained, summoning her magic, so she could show Salvain the image of his abandoned body, a mindless heap on the ground where he had passed through the portal. “If you don’t return back to it soon, I’m afraid it would die…” Wanda said with a mocking pout on her lips, the whisps of her magic fading. “You foolish girl!” Salvain growled, low and dangerous, his hands balling into fists. “You should have done this the easy way.” He snarled at her. Before Wanda could realize what he meant, a ball of energy formed into Gorden’s hand, now Salvain’s, and it shot toward her, barely giving her time to block, before it hit her straight in the chest. Another followed, than another, magic raining down on her as he gave her no time to do much more than protect herself from his attack. He groaned and grunted with the effort of it, breathing shallow. “If you would not welcome me, Scarlet Witch, you will fear me!” He exclaimed, sending more balls of energy her way, before he used his abilities to lift her off her feet and fling her across the room. Wanda tried to cushion her landing against a wall, but still groaned when she fell on the floor, feeling several bruises form on her knees, but she pushed herself to stand upright, summoning her own powers and throwing a few energy blasts his way. He blocked them, teeth bared, grunting from the unfamiliar feeling of being inside another’s body. In retaliation he looked around, lifting pieces of metal, wood and brick into the air and sending them flying toward Wanda, who tried to dodge them, but hissed when a sharp nail flew passed her, tearing the flesh in her forearm.
“Aren’t you tired of this charade, Wanda?” He asked with a note of challenge. “Pretending to care about all those ridiculous mortals out there? Pretending to be moral, when I know what’s inside you. You wanted to kill Gorden. You want to kill him still. Be done with all this, so you can walk away and find your little girlfriend. That’s what you really want, isn’t it? Why not just go do that? Or maybe I’ll go find her, once I’m done with you. Show her some real horrors.” He smiled, crooked and ugly. The mention of you and the clear threat he made had Wanda’s blood boiling. Gordon’s features, if sickly before, had now turned wild and monstrous, his eyes bloodshot, his mouth wet, like a rabid animal, cheeks even more hollow now. Salvain’s presence and the energy it took to sustain him, as well as the magic he used to fight Wanda clearly took their toll and the thought of this thing making its way to you made her sick to her stomach. “I would never let that happen!” She spat, gathering her strength and summoning her magic. She levitated in the air, the scarlet whisps of her magic surrounding her once more as she rose higher and higher, her form almost reaching the ceiling, the ground once again trembling, as she made it all crash down.
She watched the rubble start to fall, the ceiling and walls of the warehouse collapsing, chunks of concrete and metal piling over one another, a cloud of dust and a thundering crash sounding around her as she watched Gorden’s body disappear from view. A part of her regretted the unfortunate end of his life. A part of her recognized his suffering and the inner turmoil he must have felt. Another part of her felt glad. Felt relieved he was gone… Or at least she thought he was. Very few could survive the collapse of a building. But S.H.I.E.L.D would have to confirm that. She saw their black cars from the air even now, saw a few helicopters heading in her direction as well, some government, but some of it was the press. Of course, reporters would want to capture this, even if they weren’t sure what they were filming. It would be golden none the less. Even she knew that. After all, the Scarlet Witch was hovering in the air, a collapsed building on the ground… She’d be on the news and the first page of every newspaper and magazine for weeks! Wanda was about to float down, try to give them less of a show, when a sudden rumble sounded from the rubble and a deep feeling of dread settled over her. An unnerving thought crept its way to her, causing a shiver to pass through her body. The confirmation of her fear came in the form of a chunk of concreate that flew towards her head and narrowly missed her. But it wasn’t what scared her most. What she feared came after.   In the center of the ruined warehouse stood Salvain, his arms outstretched as more rubble started to float in the air. He seemed to be taking the whole building, forming a hurricane of dust, bricks, metal and wood, as well as anything left inside. And when that was all gone, he started to tear pieces of earth and rock too. “You should have walked away, little witch.” He shouted over the sound of wind, releasing his hold on the flying objects and hurling them in the air. Some were aimed at Wanda, but some flew astray, passing close to the helicopters that now hovered over the scene as well and it took everything in her to try and stop them all, a magical barrier forming in front of her and the nearby helicopters, but she still saw pieces of rubble falling to the ground, scaring curious onlookers, who had gathered to watch the fight, despite S.H.I.E.L.D’s efforts to keep people away.
In the chaos of it, she felt torn. There were so many innocents around. So many people who would get hurt, should she allow him to get the upper hand. The carnage seemed to amuse him, his lips outstretched into a sickly grin. She couldn’t protect everyone. Not like this. She could hear shouting, the cries of women and children as they ran from the falling debris, helicopters whirring around her… It was all too much.                                              *             *             * With a flick of Wanda’s wrist, a wave of magic surged through the air and although your TV could hardly do it any justice, you could see that it was a powerful blast. A deafening silence came first, the panicked sounds of people fading into utter stillness. Then came a red glow, seemingly bursting from Wanda’s chest and expanding, dipping the whole world into a scarlet hew. You watched with bated breath, your eyes glued to the screen of your TV, your heart hammering in your chest. This was the first time you’d seen Wanda since she left, and the apparent danger she was in did very little to help your anxiety. You could recognize the old warehouse, not too far from where you lived and the thought that she was so close, yet so far, made it feel hard to breathe. Then came a third wave of magic. This one however was a dull grey. It shot through the air in a cluster, like the pellets of a shotgun and everything you saw, was the way they found their target, right in Wanda’s chest, before everything went dark.
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yarrystyleeza · 7 months
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Congratulations on the milestone, friend!!! 🎉🎉 I’m so excited for you! 💖
So for your sleepover event I’d like to send in a request for someone that is probably NOT expected from me. Can I please get some fluff for one of my other absolute loves Daryl Dixon? Maybe something fluffy about being unable to fall asleep? Possibly something with a love confession? Whatever feels right for you I'd be excited to read! I miss my crossbow wielding love 😭❤
Thank you so much, Bella! This was definitely a milestone, and it wouldn't have been possible without you, thank you again! 🥰💞
And as for the request, I had such a fun time writing it, I missed Daryl so much and your request brought back so many memories 🥺💞💞💞
Night Birds (D.D)
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Requested by @bellaxgiornata
Pairing and dynamic: Daryl Dixon x female!reader — friends to lovers
Prompt: fluff, one bed trope, unable to fall asleep, love confession
Word count: 2.2k!
Writer's note: this took me a while to write, not just because I haven't written anything for Daryl in more than 3 years, but the story building wasn't easy, and I just hope it's enjoyable and fun. Also, this lil fic is heavily inspired by Panic! At The Disco's out of the Vault "night birds", unfortunately it was taken down from YouTube due to copyright issues but here's a snippet of it on twt
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"shit." you muttered under your breath, looking at the one bed at the end of the cabin, you squeezed your eyes shut and pinched the bridge of your nose. You and Daryl left Alexandria and went scavenging this morning, but your journey took way longer than expected and it was dangerous for you to take the road back home in this wintery night.
You twisted your lips in a thoughtful pout, Daryl soon notices that after he had locked the cabin door. "what?" he narrows his blue eyes as he asks, "it's a..." you gesture in the direction of the bed, "oh." he commented..
The two of you stood in place—silently for a full minute before Daryl makes a suggestion. "I can sleep on the floor--" immediately, you shook your head in disapproval, "no, Daryl, it's too cold and you might get sick," you fired back, "but I don' think that thin' can hold us up together, y'know," Daryl objected, "a bed is still a bed, even though it looks old, and rusty, and small... and a little crooked..." you gesture at the odd position the bed was in, tilting your head to try to find any correct angle in this bed.
Daryl stood silent for a moment to recollect his thoughts and you eyed him patiently, he eyed you a little before speaking, you cross your arms, pout your lips and knit your brows, waiting for him to drop the bomb of a thought because you knew what he's about to say now.
"there's another cabin down the road, 15 minute walk from here..." you rolled your eyes with a very loud objective groan, uncrossing your arms, "of course no, Daryl," he mirrored your eye roll, "don't even ask why, you know why, we need to always stick together, like— how am I supposed to make sure you're okay?" you interrupted before he could defend his suggestion, "we have our walkie-talkies--" he shrugged, "we don't," you whispered and he grimaced immediately, "what d'ya mean?" his brows got knitted, you smiled your teeth out.
"I thought it was a quick trip so I thought we didn't really need them..." you twisted your fingers as you answered with a low voice.
You lied about that, you actually brought the devices and you hid them in your backpack, you just wanted him to stay with you.
You've known Daryl for a really long time, you met back at Hershel's farm. You were a lone survivor and you happen to stumble upon Daryl in the woods. You needed a shelter and Hershel's family home provided this for you and in exchange, you helped them on their search for Sophia. Unfortunately it didn't go as intended, and everyone had to face the ugly truth about her death.
But during the search—Daryl accidentally got shot by Andrea and you offered to stay and take care of him—since everyone else was busy; and you found peace in his presence. That was the day you became true friends, inseparable friends.
Wherever Daryl was, you were with him. You were always together on missions, and whenever Rick talked about a scavenging mission you were the first one signing up the moment you know Daryl was on it too. You couldn't truly connect with other members in the group, you were shy and had troubles bonding with a big group of people, but you were always nice to them.
But, Daryl holds a special place in your heart, and you could never deny that. You were two lone wolves who found a little peace of mind together.
Now, you can see how frustrated he is, the look of both anger and worry are soaking his gentle features. "I'm sorry, Daryl," you muttered softly between your teeth, he shrugged, "forget 'bout it, pet."
You took your backpack off your shoulder and placed it by the end of the bed, you kicked your shoes off and slipped out of your heavy winter jacket. You fluff your hair and gently you lie down the mattress and your body sinks in. You were exhausted.
You watch Daryl as he makes his way to the bed, his expression is a little unsure of his actions and it was confusing, you rarely saw that face of him, he's nervous, silent and red. Daryl slowly sits on the edge of the bed, he lies down on your left side and you feel how timid he is.
"goodnight, Daryl," you lie on your back and you fix your eyes on the ceiling, he shifts a little, mirroring your pose but his hands are behind his head, his leather covered elbow brushes your cheek softly. "goodnight, pet," Daryl gently replies.
And you stay like that for hours, both facing the ceiling, you start counting the cracks in the wooden surfaces and they're twenty one, you want to pull your eyes out of their sockets to force yourself to sleep but you can't, the clock hanging on the wall had long died, you feel like a nocturnal animal who's unable to close its eyes but feeling drunk and paralyzed, you're too aware of how loud your heart is pumping tonight, you can feel every particle of dust falling onto your skin, and your breathing is so audible that you feel it ringing in your ears, it's uncomfortable and overwhelming.
Your eyes glance to the side and you notice how silent Daryl is, but he wasn't asleep either. "you can't sleep, right?" you mumble, your eyes are back on the ceiling, recounting the clefts, did their number increase?
"nah, and I guess you aren'..." he replies with the same calm tone, still looking up. "do you remember that night—back at Hershel's farm when neither of us was able to fall asleep?" you try to remind him.
The night Daryl got shot, you drank a huge amount of coffee in order to stay awake and take care of him, it was a terrible decision, because you spent the night and the next morning—shaking in weakness. And Daryl was in so much pain he couldn't close his eyes either but kept lying to you—telling you it feels more like a scratch. You kept hearing him groaning quietly and you kept petting his head to try and make his focus shift to the movement of your fingers in his hair. It was a very exhausting night but you woke up collapsed over Daryl as you had sat beside him on the edge of the bed.
"I get the same vibes here," your heart beats faster, you have no idea why you're nervous but you are. "us getting stuck together and having to deal with each other," you chuckle a little as you recall the events, "you were so pissed about me following you everywhere but then you got shot and I had to stay the night and take care of you," you keep on talking, almost feeling like you're talking to yourself. Daryl was silent, it was a little heartbreaking that he had no reaction to it.
"jeez, sorry for giving you a headache--" you sigh, tears almost stray out of your heavy eyelids, "at all, pet, I love listening to ya talkin' bout anythin'," he cuts you off, you feel his weight shifting next to you, you glance to the side and you see his blue eyes shining back at you in the dim light.
"I thought you were annoying at first but, I can't lie to ya, turns out you never were, pet," you giggle at his affirmation, "maybe because I'm a little too loud to you," you admit, your energies might have never matched but you still found harmony within it.
You remember the day you got kidnapped by Merle back at Woodbury, Daryl came over with the group to rescue you, Maggie, and Glenn. You were never able to remember anything about that event, never recalled how many hours or days you were gone but there was only one thing you remember for sure, Daryl ran up to you the moment he saw you and hugged you tight—almost crushing you in his arms. Something in you changed and you felt attracted and more attached to him. The worry in his blue orbs, and his tight hug still burns your skin.
Then the day everything fell apart and you had to flee the prison. You were introduced to the overprotective side of Daryl, he never left your side since then, and you always found yourself safe in his presence.
You never wanted to be away from him, and you hated the fact that you got separated when you first arrived to Alexandria, you were so mad that you picked up a fight with him intentionally so he could spend more time talking to you. You felt torn apart whenever he had to leave for a scavenging mission without you, and you couldn't stand any lady trying to hit on him.
The realization hits you hard... You've been in love with Daryl for longer than you can imagine.
"you look tired, pet, you need t' sleep," you almost chuckle at his words, "wish I could but I can't," you mumble. He half sits on the bed, "c'mere, pet," you look up at him, his arms are open wide for you, your heart twists in your chest as you try to make up your mind. You give up and place your head over his chest, his heart pumping next to your ear, his fingers delicately slip through your hair and he gently moves his tips on your scalp in circular motions, your eyes flutter shut and you snuggle your face into him.
His movement misses around with your heartbeat, poor little thing is thundering in your chest. You truly can't live without him.
"I care so much 'bout you, pet," your heart dropped, could this mean that you weren't the only one feeling it? You weren't so sure about it yet, but you decided you should let him finish his words.
But then his hand travels down, leaving your hair, his palm cups your cheek and his thumb fondles your blushed skin. "I care— so much 'boucha that I never think of anythin' else except for ya," you shift your head to look up at him and you find him staring back down at you.
You couldn't help but lift your head off his chest to sit straight and look directly at him in disbelief, he's astonished by your reaction and you see him lowering his eyes to his now tangled fingers. "I shouldn't 've talked about it, 'm sorry," he mumbles and you shift closer to him.
You don't quite know how you did it, but you aimed a kiss to his lips and he is taken by surprise. The very first time you've ever put your lips on him feels so unique, but you're to scared to indulge in the feeling. You part away from him, his face is unreadable, he turned pale white. Realizing what you just did. Did he actually feel anything for you? Does he even like you back? Was this the right thing to do? Or did you misunderstood the whole situation? You had no answers for those questions.
You're overthinking it a lot that you don't notice him moving closer to you, cupping your cheeks and drawing you into a kiss. Your shoulders fall and your hands envelope the back of his neck, gently tugging onto his long locks. His hands round your waist and you could feel the smile on his lips, he draws you over to his lap and he hugs you tight as the kiss continues.
He kisses you sweetly, and you only melt more into him, fumbling his face with the tips of your fingers, feeling the soft stubble on his cheeks. His hands go back over your cheeks and he's softly caressing them, tucking your hair behind your ears and you feel his lips stretching once again.
Daryl slowly pulls away from you, he's shy, he's nervous, he's flustered, and surely he's shaking but his smile is so big that you could barely see his ocean blue eyes. "so sorry I didn't mean to scare you, I was just—" you say and he giggles at you, "gosh, I love you, Daryl," you chuckle, the small of your hands are still enveloping his cheeks, "I love you too, pet, always did," Daryl slowly pulls you back into another kiss, you both smile as you sip on the uniquely sweet flavor you two created.
"think you can get some sleep now, angel?" Daryl murmured while your lips are still locked upon each other, you nodded with a slight chuckle, "alright, lemme tuck you in, lil' one," you slip from over his lap and he shuffles back to his place, taking you in his arms and resting your head onto his chest, playfully messing with your hair, you round his waist with your leg and snuggle into his chest, he keeps peppering your temple with little pecks until you both fell asleep.
Daryl wakes up early and he gently pulls himself from under you—in fear of disturbing your deep sleep, he gets up and makes his way to the little dining table where he had placed his bag, he scavenges through it for food but he finds nothing.
Daryl tries his luck with your backpack and searches through it, and that's where he finds the walkie-talkies you hid all day long... And you had witnessed his finding yourself.
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Likes and reblogs are appreciated, thank you for coming to my sleepover celebration! 💞💞💞
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jadedrrose · 1 year
Text
Overheard
Law is incredibly busy with his work as captain, and has been neglecting certain needs of yours. So you take matters into your own hands, but Law ends up overhearing your actions.
Warnings: smut MINORS DNI. afab reader but no pronouns used. Why do I feel embarrassed posting this…. (also i did not proofread this and it's 4 am so there's probably mistakes lol)
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It was late at night. Late enough that the entire crew was certainly asleep, as it was way past their “bedtimes”. But of course not everyone was asleep; it wasn't unusual for Law to be staying up through the morning, never wanting to stop working, whether that was his duties as captain or his medical stuff.
But this had become a consistent pattern now. You’d lost count of how many days it had been since you fell asleep with Law in bed with you. You didn’t even know if he actually came back to the bedroom to sleep either, because he certainly wasn’t there when you woke up. 
While you felt that part of your relationship was lacking lately, there was another thing that he’d been neglecting;
It didn’t matter how many times you’d wander into his office or the operation room, propping yourself onto his desk, lap or an operating table. The clothes you wore didn’t seem to interest him, even the shortest of skirts and his shirts undone to present your chest to him. 
You didn’t want to outright beg Law, despite knowing he liked it when you did. This time you wanted him to see how you were suffering, feeling neglected and untouched. 
So tonight you’d taken matters into your own hands, quite literally. 
It had started in the shower you’d taken before bed. The cold air on your naked body combined with the warm water, the way you couldn’t help but graze your hands over your breasts as you washed yourself, your entire body shivering whenever you’d run over fingers across your nipples. What also didn’t help was the mirror that was directly across from the shower. You were fully on display to yourself; wet hair sticking to your skin, breasts covered in soap as you palmed the right one with your hand. Fuck, you were desperate. 
Backing up to the shower wall, you let your left hand wander down to your neglected pussy. You slowly ran your fingers along your folds, biting down at your lip from the contact. Then as you pinched and pulled your own nipples with your right hand, your left soon found its place where you could use your index and middle finger to rub your clit. You were so wet, needy and desperate. It wouldn’t compare to Law’s fingers, but you needed it. With a small moan, you slipped your two fingers into yourself, feeling around your velvety walls. 
You’d fingered yourself slowly, wanting to drag this out for yourself. Who knows how long it would be before Law would help you out again, so you needed this to last as long as possible. 
Just before you felt your high coming along, you pulled your fingers away and rinsed them under the shower water, washing away your juices. 
You’d finished up in the shower and quickly dried yourself off, throwing a towel around your hair and leaving your clothes behind as you made your way back to the connected bedroom you and Law shared. 
You laid back against the pillows, getting comfortable and spreading your legs for yourself. Your hand returned to your aching cunt, using your palm to rub against it and your puffy clit. You couldn’t help but speed up your motions, and soon your hips were shaking and leaning into your touch as you grew close again. But again, you didn’t allow yourself to cum. Wiping your hand off on your thigh, you tried thinking of what you could do next. You looked around the small room, thinking of any possible objects you could make use of, until your eyes landed on Law’s pillow. 
Maybe it would piss him off, but you could care less as you removed it from its side of the bed and sat up, positioning it between your legs. 
Your thighs squeezed it tightly to get it as firm as possible, and then you began rocking your hips, grinding down onto Law’s pillow. “Ohh, shit… mmmh,” you let out whimpered noises, biting down on your tongue to keep yourself from getting loud. 
But it was hard to not do so the harder you humped against the pillow. There was a clearly visible wet spot on it now, and it just felt so good against your sore pussy. Grinding down harder, you let out a loud moan as your clit received the most friction. Trying to keep the feeling going, you squeezed the pillow as hard as possible and roughly slid yourself along the most firm part of it, moaning again and again as you found the perfect spot.
Law had finally had enough. He knew you were feeling upset about how he hadn’t joined you in bed for the past few days; and he especially knew how incredibly horny you’d been lately. But Law was a captain, and he had duties that needed to be done before he could allow himself to catch a break.
But tonight, he finally caught up. Everything where he had been behind was now where it should be, and Law could finally rest. 
He figured you’d already be in bed, maybe even sleeping already. He knew it was late, but didn’t have an exact idea of how late. 
Law was a few feet away from the room when he’d heard it. 
“Oohh, Law, please… I need you so bad, baby.”
Your moans were so clear and loud that there was no doubt about what Law had just heard. 
Despite feeling tired not even five minutes ago, Law somehow found the smallest jump in energy, wanting to stay outside just for another moment to hear you. 
Your moans were soft and whiny, voice sounding pathetic and clearly desperate. 
“Mm, mmph… oh, fuck baby…”
Law quietly groaned as he felt himself growing hard, the urge to get himself off completely overtaking any rational thoughts he’d been having before. Now he felt pathetic as he palmed himself over his jeans. He hadn’t had any need for this with you. But the way you moaned for him not even knowing he was just outside the door; he didn’t want to alert you to his presence just yet. 
He continued to grind against his own hand before realizing anybody could walk by, though unlikely. Quickly thinking, Law figured that he could stealthily teleport himself inside the room without you noticing.
He figured you were on the bed, so his best bet would be to swap himself with something in the bathroom. Law knew you kept what seemed like thousands of hair bands and ties lying around on the sink’s counter, so that’s exactly what he swapped himself with. 
Now in the bathroom, your moans were much louder than they had been before. You’d clearly just been in the shower, based on the fact that there were still water droplets in it, and your clothes were abandoned on the floor. You’d also left the door open, allowing Law to have a clear view. 
But rather than watching, Law forgot any sane thoughts he’d normally have and pulled his jeans open, freeing his aching cock and began running his tattooed hand over his length. 
It wasn’t hard for Law to quickly become undone with the way you moaned for him, begging for him as if he were already in there with you. His breaths became heavy as he stroked himself harder and faster. 
But he refused to just cum wherever. The urge to slide into your soft pussy and cum inside it was too strong within him. Messily tucking himself away, Law approached the door and finally witnessed what you’d been doing to yourself.
His pillow was crushed between your plush thighs, your knuckles turning a lighter shade as you held onto the pillow with all your strength as you continued to grind your pussy along the top of his pillow. 
Suddenly your hips were shaking and your moans became even more desperate and short. You were close to cumming.
Part of Law wanted to sit still and watch you cum on his pillow, but the other part of him that wanted to be inside you took priority in his mind.
He stepped out of the bathroom, crossing his arms and smirking down at your pathetic frame. “Gonna make yourself cum all over my pillow, hm?” 
Your pretty eyes shot open, staring up at him widely as your entire body froze. 
“W-when did you-“
“Forgot I can essentially teleport myself?” Law taunted.
You then felt sudden shame, quickly pulling the pillow out from between your legs and setting it behind you. “I’ll clean it, right now even. I’m sure you’re tired-“
“Don’t bother,” Law started approaching you, “I couldn’t help but listen in on you fucking yourself, you sounded so pathetic, like a little whore,
“You had me jerking myself off like some kind of idiot,” Law continued, “now I intend to fuck you until you can’t even say my name for doing that to me.”
Your body shivered at his words, and you lay on your back and spread your legs open for him, revealing your red, puffy and soaked cunt. 
Not wasting any time, Law threw his jeans off and pounced on top of you, grabbing your hips with haste as he positioned his cock with your throbbing pussy, burying himself deep inside of you. 
Your desperate moans from before had turned into overstimulated screams as Law pounded into you, shaking the entire bed with his harsh movements. 
“L-Law, I’m… gonna- ahh,” you cried, nails digging into his forearms as you held onto them right around the tattooed part. 
“Fuck, I know… I said I’d fuck you ‘til you can’t speak, but- shit, I need to cum in you now.”
Your velvety walls clenched around Law’s thick length, milking him for whatever he had in him. 
With another thrust, Law let out a loud groan as he unloaded his seed into you, continuing to abuse your pussy and fucking his hot cum deeper into you.
As soon as he came back down from his high, Law pulled out and collapsed on top of you. He was completely exhausted. 
“Gonna need a new pillow,” Law muttered into your neck, “I’m fucking exhausted.”
Your arms wrapped around his body, holding onto him as you yawned. “Just use me… I’m too sleepy to get up.”
You thought you heard Law grumble something like “ugh, fine” but you weren’t too sure as you quickly fell into a deep slumber, tired from everything you’d done to yourself and especially tired after Law had joined in.
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Text
The Artist and the Builder [a Joel x reader fic]
Read on Ao3
Sequel: All The Fear and the Fire of the End of the World
Fandom: The Last of Us
Ship: Joel Miller x you/artist!reader who is his age and has arthritis and allergies.
Tags/warnings: Bit of pining, Joel is sweet and settling in, reader has joint pain and allergies, kissing, pretty tame foreplay, a little fumbling, teasing, insertion of objects into vagina that probably shouldn't be there but it's the apocalypse there ain't no dildos, vaginal orgasm, Joel is Too Big and also has Bad Knees, piv sex, cuddling, artist stuff listen I don't know how to do this anymore.
Summary: Gruff contractor Joel Miller has been in Jackson for a while and up until now, you thought he didn't like you because you're an artist and who the hell needs art in the post-apocaypse? But you are wrong.
Words: 7,139
A/N: Listen I know absolutely nothing about being an artist, sorry about that. I also don't have allergies or arthritis (although I suspect I am going down that road but let's cross that bridge when we get there). I just want Joel to be soft with someone his age whose body is falling apart. Many many thanks to @pazizz and @rambling-in-purple who helped me with this one. It started as one thing but ended something else. I really appreciate the help along the way <3
My masterlist
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The ache protrudes harshly into your dreams and tears you away from sleep way before it’s time to get up. It grows stronger as you come to, and you carefully try to open your hands. Each joint is like a rusty hinge that creaks and whines when moved, and you sigh deeply as you hide your hands in opposite armpits in an attempt to warm them up. Your mother had arthritis and would tell you in a bland voice that you’d probably get it, too. She had it, her mother had it, and so on. But that seemed so far away, you had your whole life ahead of you, and you had just settled down and started to live after your crazy twenties when the outbreak happened, and survival became your only goal. Despite it all, you managed to live for twenty more years, and then got slapped with the family curse.
Closing your hands around a mug of hot tea, you walk around the living-room of your small house and inspect your various half-finished projects: paper made of plants, clay paint, painted mugs. The whole house smells like a compost, so you open a window to let in a cool breeze. You immediately feel it in your aching hands but do your best to ignore it.
Sitting down at your drawing table, you pick up the charcoal and sketch a couple of lines to the profile you’re working on. It doesn’t feel right, however, so you put down the charcoal again. Restless, you sip some tea, your foot tapping against the floor.
Eventually, you have to go to the infirmary, where Robert, Jackson’s doctor, already is treating his first patient of the day.
You like Robert, like being of use, but being a nurse isn’t what you wanted. You trained to be one, yes, and worked as one for years because it felt like a good, honest profession, and your parents insisted. At nearly 30, however, you quit, and went back to school to pursue your true calling: art. You had almost finished your education when the world went to shit, and your passion no longer counted for anything. For the past twenty years, you’ve thrown yourself after art supplies like other people after food, but even paper is becoming harder to come by. Hence your experiments using plants.
“Your hands bothering you?” Robert asks around lunch, and you nod silently. You haven’t said anything, but he notices.
“Take the rest of the day off.”
“I’m good.”
“Just go, okay? I can’t give you anything for the pain, but I can give you the day off.”
You accept gratefully, and as you change into your normal clothes, you decide to go check at the latest construction site if there’s any sawdust to be had.
You hear the promising sound of a saw working its way through wood as you get closer to the latest house being erected, and when you reach it, Joel Miller looks up from the sawhorse and straightens his back. You think you see a grimace flash across his face, but then he carefully rearranges his features into the usual scowl.
Joel’s been in Jackson for a while now. You don’t really know much about him, except for what you’ve heard from others: that he walked across the country from Boston with the girl in search of his brother, and when the place where he was supposed to drop off the girl was destroyed, they both came back here. He seems to have settled well, and he’s handy, so he’s a welcome addition. He doesn’t really seem to understand your needs, though: when you first asked him if he could save some sawdust for your papermaking, he scoffed when he learned that you needed the paper for art. You bit back on an acid remark. Art wasn’t valued very highly in this world, but it’s what made you happy, and you didn’t care what someone like Joel fucking Miller thought.
“Hi,” you say, stopping in front of the sawhorse. “You got something for me?”
He wipes his forehead on his sleeve and nods towards the wall of the house he’s building. There are three buckets by it, and you see that two of them are filled with yellow sawdust, the third one with nettle leaves. Puzzled, you look over at him. You can’t really figure him out.
“What’s this?”
“Ellie said you were looking for nettles in the vegetable patches,” he mutters. “Passed by a bunch of them on patrol yesterday.”
You chew on your lower lip as you process the unexpected kindness.
“Thank you,” you eventually say. “I appreciate it.”
“No problem.” Joel picks up the saw again and goes back to working on shortening the board propped on the sawhorse. The woodsy scent of sawdust fills your nostrils, and you catch a whiff of sweat from Joel, despite the cool weather.
The buckets are proving difficult to pick up. Your fingers refuse to curl around the handles, and even if the weight is more than manageable, your hands are just not having it today. You swallow hard, embarrassed by your frailty, when Joel steps up behind you.
“I’ll take those.”
Big hands close around the handles of the sawdust buckets. You pick up the nettle bucket and start to walk towards your house. Joel walks alongside you, silent and avoiding looking at you just as you are stubbornly staring in any direction but his.
“I have arthritis,” you finally tell him, naming your disease with disgust dripping from your tongue. “My hands don’t work so well some days.”
“That’s rough,” he offers. “I used to have a neighbor who had that. Sorry.”
You finally venture a glance at him. His features offer nothing of what’s going on behind those dark brown eyes.
You arrive at your house, and Joel carries in the buckets for you. You see from how his nostrils flare that he wasn’t prepared for the earthy smell of your home.
“Just put them down there,” you ask him, gesturing to him. Joel does that and is left standing in the doorway to your living-room. He looks around at your various half-finished projects, the pictures on the walls, all your attempts at creating art with whatever materials you've been able to get your aching hands on.
You pretend to busy yourself with washing your hands, but you're really watching him. You've seen this before: people who don't care about art seeing art in a whole new way for the first time. They're always slammed in the face with it, and it's a very delicate moment that shouldn't be disturbed. So you busy yourself at the sink, rinse out your cup despite it being close to clean already, warm up your hands some more with water, open the cupboards and rearrange things. Joel disappears into the living-room, his heavy, unfamiliar boots causing the floorboards to complain about every step he takes. You hear him walk around slowly, and your curiosity gets the better of you. Quietly, you walk over to the doorway to sneak a peek at him.
He's standing by your desk, holding up a paper with a half-finished sketch. To your horror, the picture is of him, the one that you just can't get right because you can't figure him out, can't combine his threatening glower with the warm smile he reserves for his close ones.
You almost dash across the floor and snatch the paper from his hands before throwing it down on the desk, picture down.
"That's not finished, I mean, it's not... you weren't supposed to see it."
"It's good," Joel states simply. You glance at him as you mindlessly rearrange the sketches on your desk.
"Thanks."
His stare is piercing and hard to meet, so you cast down your eyes to a sketch of Ellie right in front of you. Joel follows your gaze and sees it.
"Can I see that?"
You bite your lower lip, pick up the sketch and hand it to him. You're happier with this one: Ellie's face is open, honest. She talks, questions, comments. You've barely heard ten words in all from Joel, and he's been around for months.
"You really captured her," he admires you. "Did she pose for this?"
"No," you shake your head, "but I've worked together with her occasionally. It's easier to draw someone when you know how they move and talk and such."
He hums in agreement as he studies the picture.
"Is that why you haven't finished my picture?" he eventually asks, catching you off guard. "Because you haven't spent time with me?"
"Probably," you shrug, and hold up your hand for him to relinquish the picture back to you. He does, and the line between his brows seems to melt away when he asks you if you'd want to finish his portrait.
"I can come by tonight after work."
You meet his soft gaze and nod.
"Yeah, okay."
///
You're in the middle of dipping your paper molds into a tub of pulp and putting them to dry when there's a knock on the door. You call out a "come in" as you wash your hands under water as hot as you can manage. Not good at staying passive, you've strained your hands all day continuing with your experiments.
Joel steps in, eyeing the room immediately before settling his nut-brown gaze on you.
"How are your hands?" he wants to know. You shrug.
"The same."
You reach for your jacket, and Joel grunts questioningly. You raise a brow at him.
"Are we going out?"
"I need fresh air."
"It does smell in here." A grin flashes by his face, almost shocking you. Was that a joke?
"Sorry," he immediately apologizes, taking your silence for chagrin. You smile wryly.
"Don't worry. It really is smelly, I just don't notice anymore."
You leave your house together and start walking slowly down the street. The evening is cold in a refreshing way, and you hide your gloved hands in your pockets, both to keep them warm and to keep them occupied. Keeping your eyes trained on some invisible spot in the distance, you try to figure out something to say. It doesn't feel like you and Joel have a lot in common, and all those old icebreakers of "where are you from" and "do you have a family" can be sensitive in this world. You opt for something you do know about him.
"Did you build houses before?"
He takes a second to answer, but finally tells you that he was indeed a contractor.
"Always good to know how to build things," you comment. Joel hums in agreement before clearing his throat.
"And you? You usually work in the infirmary."
"I was a nurse, but I didn't like it much," you tell him. "I went back to school to study art, but the breakout happened before I finished. And nobody needs art to survive. So I work as a nurse."
Joel doesn't say anything, but nods to a passer-by.
"Do you like being a contractor?" you ask. Once again, he takes a little time before presenting his answer.
"I do."
"Good, honest work, huh?"
"Something like that. And..." He hesitates, gaze flickering when you turn your head to look at him.
"It's nice to build something instead of destroying it," he finally mutters. You nod slowly.
"Yes. Yes, it is."
Without hurry, you walk around Jackson three times while talking. Joel is a man of few words, but the words he does utter are well chosen and sometimes heavy with information. He talks about his former construction work but doesn't utter one word about his personal life, possible family, likely loss. His voice is warm when he talks about Ellie, the teenager he delivered across the country, only to find that the people who were supposed to take care of her were already dead and buried. There is a momentary crack in his facade when he talks about his failed mission to bring Ellie to Salt Lake City, but he quickly gathers himself, and states that that's how both ended up in Jackson. He seems happy enough with those turns of events.
You tell him about your art education, about how you ever since you were a young child have seemed to notice how light falls on objects, faces, your surroundings, and the deep-seated urge to draw the light, paint it, trace is with a brush in futile attempts to replicate the magic. The light changes everything, how the world is viewed, and you're constantly trying to capture those moments when the light renders a common kitchen utensil magical, just because the first rays of morning sunshine catch the curves and angles of it. You're not sure he understands, but he does listen.
Eventually, you stop outside your house, facing each other. Darkness has fallen and you didn't leave the porch light on, so you struggle to see his face in what little light there is to be had from the moon, and the glow from the windows of the neighboring houses.
"It was nice talking to you," you say sincerely.
"You too."
You hide your hands in the opposite armpits in an attempt to keep them warm. The cold is getting to them, even with gloves.
"Will I see you tomorrow?"
Joel blinks.
"You're not going to draw me?"
"It's too dark."
"Ah." You hear from his tone that he just realized that you've been talking about light this whole time. His head shifts on top of that long, strong neck, his face turns a little to the side and you catch the profile of his aquiline nose against the faint light coming from the neighbor's house.
And you know you have to try to draw him like this, half cloaked in darkness, the bridge of his nose sharp against soft light, maybe from a fire, the shadows painting dark valleys on his face with his frown, the glint of grey in his beard, a lock of hair curling by his ear.
"Maybe not," you correct yourself and step past his towards your porch. "Come on in."
You load up the fireplace, your hands only trembling slightly from the weight of the wood. Joel kneels next to you by the fireplace and takes the matches from you. A protest rests on the tip of your tongue, but the brief touch of his warm, callused hand makes you swallow it. You stand up and watch him light the fire, breathe life into the kindling, and carefully place smaller twigs on the first, small flames before rocking back to watch the fire grow. You move your weight from one foot to the other, tuck your hands into your pockets. Joel glances up at your fidgeting.
"Your hands hurtin'?"
"It's the cold," you shrug. "But it's fine, it's not that bad."
You take a step back, towards the kitchen.
"Want a cup of tea?"
"Sure. Thanks."
When you return with two mugs of steaming tea, the fire is crackling merrily. Joel rises, joints popping, and accepts one mug from you with one hand, the other suddenly taking a gentle hold of your wrist. You twitch, the tea spills over a little, but you don't pull back your hand. Slowly, Joel covers it with his big, broad palm, so much warmer than yours, and you almost instantly feel the heat spread into your aching joints.
When you search his averted gaze, he releases your hand, and clears his throat.
"Thanks for the tea," he murmurs, and you nod quickly.
"You're welcome."
You busy yourself with emptying the run-down armchair from various knick-knacks and tools, and indicate the seat for him. Carefully, as if afraid to break it, Joel sits down. You pull up the desk chair and take a piece of charcoal and a paper, propping it on your lap with a sheet of cardboard under.
"You're not going to continue with the half-finished picture?" Joel asks, sipping his tea.
"No," you shake your head. "It's not how I want to draw you."
"Waste of paper."
"I'll use it to make more. It's okay."
He grunts, and you hide your smile without knowing why you're even smiling in the first place.
"Turn your head a little towards the fireplace," you instruct, and Joel squares his shoulders, as if he's unhappy about being told what to do. However, he does as he's asked, and follows the rest of your directions easily. When you're happy with his angles, you put coal to paper, and start to sketch.
For a long time, the only sound heard is that of the fire, and the soft scratch of the coal against the coarse paper. Your sharp eyes note every hair, pore, and line on Joel's face, but you're finding it hard to transfer them to paper. After a long day, your hands are hurting bad, and the pain keeps shifting your focus away from the task at hand. Finally, you sigh deeply and turn the paper upside down.
"I'm done."
"It's finished?" Joel asks, shifting like he's sitting back and leaning forward at the same time. One brow is quirked inquisitively, while his tight jawline lets you know that he doesn't really want to see the result - but he's curious.
"No," you specify as you get up, "it's not finished. I have to start over, but it's getting late."
Your fingers can barely let go of the coal when you set it down together with the paper. You hide your knuckle in the palm of your other hand and rub it discreetly.
"You won't show me?" Joel rises from the armchair and comes up to you, putting away the cup of tea. Standing right in front of you he seems almost impossibly broad.
"Your hands hurtin'?" he asks in a low voice that vibrates along your spine. You swallow quickly.
"Just need to warm them up, it's okay, I'm used to it."
Your breath gets caught in your throat when he takes both your hands and presses them to his chest. You feel his heart beat quickly against your palm and realize that some of his body heat actually comes from him being just as nervous as you are.
Feebly, you try to pull back your hands.
"I'm getting coal on your shirt..."
"Don't care."
You bite into your lower lip, speechless as if you were fourteen and standing in front of your crush, instead of a middle-aged woman talking to...
Who is Joel to you, anyway?
"Why are you doing this?" you ask hoarsely. Joel frowns, his hands slowly letting go of yours. You keep your palms on his chest for a second longer before letting go. Bereft of the warmth, your joints feel even worse.
He doesn't seem to have an answer to give you, but his lips move like he's trying to say something to break the silence. When nothing comes out, you get impatient.
"Joel?" you prompt.
"No one's ever looked at me like you look at me," he lets out, his dark gaze locking in on you. "It's like you're staring right through my clothes. It makes me nervous. I haven't been nervous in... a very long time."
"Nervous how?" you hear yourself ask, even if your armpits have grown damp, and your heart is beating so hard he surely must hear it.
"Nervous in that way." You hear exactly what he means, all the possibilities and threats and risks summarized in that. There's something so awkwardly boyish in it that you find yourself smiling. His frown deepens when he sees it, but his lips soften.
"Joel," you ask, softly touching your aching hand to his, "do you want to kiss me?"
He immediately grabs your wrist and touches his lips to yours in a kiss that doesn't really know what it's supposed to do but wants to do it anyway. He forgot to draw breath, and instead of inhaling against your skin, he pulls back quickly when he has to breathe.
"Fuck," he mutters, "that was a shitty kiss. I'm sorry."
Your cheeks flush violently when you pull at his hand.
"You can try again?"
The offer makes him smile, finally, and he displays that dimple that you found absolutely impossible to put to paper. His closes his hand around the back of your neck, and his lips press onto yours, and he remembers how it's done, and kisses you until you're not sure your legs will carry you anymore.
///
The picture of Joel becomes secondary to your meetings. Joel, you realize very soon, courts you, like some southern Gone With the Wind-type of gentleman. He brings you whatever materials he can find when he goes on patrol - you're excused from that task due to your horse allergy - and quietly offers you his thick gloves when you're out walking together, and your hands hurt. He continues to not talk much, but you start to recognize the little things: acts of service, the way he looks out for you, how his eyes light up when he sees you. His kisses when you part.
There is only kissing. He hasn't touched you in any other way, and you haven't taken initiative to anything further. There is only a rather chaste, yet warm, kiss when he leaves your house, where you usually meet up. He drinks tea and watches you draw, or paint when you're not asking him to pose for you. You know exactly how you want to capture him but so far, your hands haven't been skilled enough, and for every hour you spend with Joel, you lay another piece of the puzzle that is Joel, and you become unsure of how to draw him.
One evening, a couple of months after that first kiss, you're enjoying the warm fire in your living-room when there is a knock on the door. Joel stands on your porch, eyes scanning you quickly as soon as you open the door.
"You weren't at the movies," he says, referring to the event that nearly everyone in Jackson went to tonight. You hear the question in the statement: Are you okay?
"It's cold," you shrug. "Not my thing. Wanna come in?"
He enters your house, and you take his coat and hang it by the door.
"How are the hands?" he asks. You rub your palms together.
"Not bad today, actually. How's your knees?"
He grins a little, knowing that you saw him carry furniture up porch steps earlier.
"Creaky, but they still carry me."
"Tea?"
"I don't want to disturb, if you wanted to be alone."
You lead the way into the living-room, and move some things away from one armchair, pulling it closer to the fireplace, next to the one you were sitting in.
"You're not disturbing, do sit down. I could work some more on your portrait."
Busying yourself with picking at pieces of charcoal, you don't pay him any attention until his footsteps bring him right behind you. One warm hand touches your waist gently, startling you into turning around to meet his sheepish face.
"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you."
"It's okay." His warm body is so close to yours, and his smell of wood, sweat, and snow invades your nose. You inhale deeply, pretending to sigh just to get the opportunity to soak in this intoxicating, masculine smell of his.
"I got something for you." Joel holds up something wrapped in cloth, and it takes you a few moments to gather yourself.
"For me?" Carefully, you take the little package from him. "Whatever for?"
He shrugs. “Thought you might need it. It’s probably your birthday at some point, or Christmas, or whatever.”
You never were good at receiving gifts, and it's even harder now. When was the last time you even got one?
He shifts his weight; a show of nerves that doesn't match up with his calm, deep voice. You decide to put him out of his misery and unfold the cloth.
It's four paintbrushes, hand carved with thick, curved handles, and tidily shaped heads.
"Oh. Joel, these are... these are gorgeous."
You hear him exhale, like he had been holding his breath.
"You think they're any good?"
"I'm sure they are, the hairs look amazing. Where did you get these?"
"I made them."
Now you tear your eyes from the brushes. "You made them?"
"Carved them, they should be comfortable to hold, I asked the doc what's suitable for someone with arthritis... The hairs are horsehair, bound together with sheep hairs."
He has really listened to you talking about all the art supplies you miss, and your ideas of making your own.
"The hairs are washed, so hopefully they won't give you allergies," he adds quickly.
"Joel... thank you. I don't know what to say."
He chuckles a little. "Try them first. What I know about making paintbrushes can fit onto the head of a nail. You may wanna return them."
"Unlikely."
You lean forward, the brushes still in your hands between the two of you, and touch your lips to Joel's. His hands rise to gently cup your elbows as he accepts your kiss. Only when your lips grow more insistent, does his hold tighten as well, and all you can think of is him holding your tits in the same manner.
Your hands, still holding the brushes, come to his chest, and you start undoing the buttons of his flannel. Joel's lips leave yours, and when he looks at you with eyes steeped in hot molten lava, you know that it didn't come easily.
"What are you doin'?"
"What does it look like?" you smile a little shakily. Is this the beginning of a refusal? Have you misunderstood his interest in you altogether?
"I don't want you to do it just because I gave you somethin'."
"It's not because you gave me something, it's because you never took anything away."
He cups your cheek now, strokes his big thumb over your lips.
"You're beautiful. I haven't done this in a long time, and never with anyone as beautiful."
"How old do you think I am?" you laugh, amused and touched at the same time. His ever-present frown changes slightly, turning quizzical.
"I don't need to hear that I'm beautiful," you specify, hands still on his chest. "I don't care about that."
"Then what do you wanna hear?" His voice is impossibly low. Your pussy clenches, grows moist and hot.
"I want to hear you want me."
"Oh, darlin'..." he sighs, closing his eyes momentarily. "I want you like crazy. I have wanted you for a long time, but I wanted for you to decide when you'd have me."
You didn't know how much you had longed for someone who saw you as a sexual being, a woman with desires and a will of her own.
"Joel," you whisper, and he swallows the rest of your words when he crashes his lips to yours. The brushes fall from your hand when you throw your arms around his neck to bring him closer, and Joel's big arms go around your waist. He hums into your mouth when your entire front is pressed against him; a satisfied hum, like he's happy to have you here. You answer with a hum of your own and feel his lips curve in a smile.
Slowly, his hands begin to know your body, sliding over curves and dips, fingers dipping into flesh, palms caressing over your clothes. Your approach is more direct: you pull at his flannel, wanting it off him.
"There's no hurry," he admonishes you between kisses. "Unless you got somewhere you need t'be?"
You exhale in something in between a scoff and a chuckle.
"In your pants?"
"Bedroom, then?"
"It's warmer in here, where the fire is."
"Hold on."
He releases you, seemingly unwillingly, and disappears into your small bedroom, re-emerging momentarily later with your bedding. You move the armchairs away to allow for him to put everything down in front of the fireplace. Groaning, he lays down on the makeshift bed, taking your hand and pulling you down next to him. You giggle a little as you plop down, immediately receiving more kisses.
"This better?" he wants to know. Your skin knots over when his hand finds its way underneath your shirt.
"Much better."
He rolls half on top of you, hand finding your breast for a light squeeze as his knee pushes between your thighs to separate them. His cock is stiff against your hip, and you move against it, smiling into the kiss when he grunts and grabs your breast harder. You put your hand on his, pressing it down, feeling his hand disappear into your soft flesh almost painfully. Your moan gears him up, and he starts to pull your shirt upwards. Squirming out of it, you reach for his belt, huffing in annoyance when Joel sits up to take his own shirt off. You sit up as well for a better reach, and your forehead connects with his chin just as he dives back to you.
"Ouch!"
"Fuck!"
You smile sheepishly at each other, both of you more startled than hurt, and Joel gently pushes you back down.
"Maybe we should take it slow?"
"I need you, I'm done waiting."
"I know, sweetheart, but I don't want you to break my jaw."
You scoff, but his kisses make you docile. Your clothes come off, along with his, and when you're both finally naked, skin against skin, you discover that you're happy with going slow as well. In the light of the fire, you trace your hand along his strong muscles and soft flesh, kiss his scars from past struggles, and the newer bruises from recent altercations with logs or whatever he has attempted to lift on his own. You close your fingers around the girth of his cock - Jesus, 20-year-old you would've giggled like a maniac at the sight of it - and enjoy the sounds of surrender that you can conjure out of him.
"God, your hands feel good on me," he hisses as you slowly, while trying to remember how to do this, stroke him with both hands. You smile, suddenly struck with nerves, when you pass your thumb softly over the glistening head of his thick cock. The precum catches the flickering light from the fire, and you get lost in how light and shadow play over Joel's skin; the dark dip of his navel, the hills of his soft pecs and stomach illuminated, his cock rising proudly from a thicket of dark hairs towards the light, the fuzz of his thighs. The embossed skin of a scar reflecting the warm light. The way his skin rises in goosebumps at your touch...
"Darlin'?"
You blink, and meet his wry, amused smirk.
"You with me?"
"Yeah, sorry. I just... was looking at the light."
"How you'd paint it?" Joel seems to catch on immediately, having listened to you rambling on about The Light several evenings. Yod nod and run one finger along the length of his cock before continuing up his happy trail, swerving around his navel.
"There's so much to see on the human body, if one just knows how to look."
"Lemme try that."
Joel pulls you down and rolls you onto your back, propping himself up on one arm next to you. You blush a little as he inspects you, his hand following the dancing shadows on your chest and stomach.
"Yeah," he murmurs, "I can see it alright."
"Yeah?"
"M-hmm. Hold on."
He rolls to the other side, looking in the dusky room for something. When he returns to your side, he's holding one of the brushes he made. With a feathery touch, he touches the brush to your ribcage, right underneath one breast.
"Here's light," he mumbles, carefully tracing the brush along a rib. "Right next to the shadow of your breast."
You exhale in a soft moan as his knuckles brush up against your breast, knotting the nipple. Joel's tongue slips out to lick his lower lip before he goes on tracing the lines that only he can see on your skin.
"What are you painting, Picasso?" you ask hoarsely.
"Hush," Joel tells you curtly yet not unkindly. You smile and close your eyes, shifting a little so that you can drape your arm around his shoulder. His hot breath is on your breast, his whiskers tickle you before something warm and wet disturbing your nipple tells you he's licked it. A shiver runs through you, and you push your chest out, asking him wordlessly to do it again.
He latches on and suckles steadily, but your shout of surprised pleasure has barely died down before he releases you and continues down your stomach with the brush.
"Joel," you whine, blinking up at him, but the focus in his eyes is so intense that you don't say anything more. Instead, you watch him figure out the fundamentals of visual art: how the light changes everything, how to handle the brush, how to angle the hand. His brush may not have any paint on it, but he paints your pleasure with sounds from you: gasps, hums, a hiss when he passes over a ticklish spot. With the brush trailing through the thicket of your pubes, your legs fall open and your lower lip catches between your teeth. Your pelvis rises to meet the soft hairs, and you moan when Joel dips the brush through your slick folds. He moves the brush to your nipple, circles it to wetten it with your arousal, then ducks down to suck it into his mouth. Your back arches, your inner thighs are wet, your heartbeats echo in your pussy, and you need him to understand just how desperately you need him.
"Fuck me," you keen, "Joel, I need you to fuck me."
He hesitates, coming up to slot his mouth over yours and steal your breath away. You rub yourself against him, find his cock and tease it, make him moan just as needily as you.
"I take it you ain't a pregnancy risk?" You hear from his tight voice how close he is to snapping. Fuck, but that's hot.
"STDs are our only concern," you try to joke, but it's not funny. Before coming to Jackson, you spent years in a quarantine zone as a nurse, and the common sexually transmitted infections ran rampant. Without proper testing equipment, it was hard to tell the scale of it.
"I should be clean," he tells you, and you're too far gone to doubt him.
"Me too."
He kisses you again as he rolls on top of you, his width and weight blocking out everything else as he plunges his tongue into your mouth. Your hips rise to meet him when he leads his cock against your entrance, and you almost bite him when he starts to push into you. Your nails press into his shoulders, the fit is impossible, and Joel stops.
"Fuck," he mutters. "You okay?"
"It's big, it's been a while."
He growls and pulls out, cupping your cheek when you whine.
"Don't wanna hurt you."
"Just get me wet, Joel."
"You're plenty wet already."
"And you're hung like a goddamn moose, so get me wetter," you snap, and Joel chuckles.
"Relax, darlin'."
"I'm trying."
He kisses you again, hand between your legs, two fingers slipping through your folds and drawing out the slick to a slow circle around your clit. Sparks run up your spine and you bury your fingers in his thick, greying hair.
"You always try to cram it in before finding a girl's clit?" you mutter, but your smile shines through. Joel slips a finger inside you.
"I told you, it's been a while." He trails kisses down your neck and moves his finger inside you, seeking the right, spongy spot. You mewl and writhe, needing more but not getting it. One finger is not enough. An idea forms in your head.
"Take the brush," you ask him breathlessly. Joel stills, finger slipping out as he studies your face. You roll your eyes.
"It's not a commentary on your skills. Get over yourself."
"You were the one who were in such a such a hurry a minute ago," he teases before looking around for the brush. Finding it, he brings it to your tits, but you shake your head.
"No, use it on me."
His brow rises quizzically. You push his hand down.
"Fuck me with it, Joel."
You expect an objection, or at the very least surprise, but all you get is a strangled sound and a searing kiss. The handle, so smoothly polished, is thick and curved in a way that bears resemblance to a dildo - not that you've used one in twenty years, but the thought is there now and you have to try this out.
The handle slides in easily, filling you better than his finger but without the intensity of his cock.
"Fuck," you keen, directing your hand down to rub your clit as Joel slowly pulls out the handle before pushing it back in. "There, fuck, Joel, that's good..."
He's breathing audibly now but you don't look at him anymore, you close your eyes and let him help you find all those buttons and spots that you had almost forgotten that you had anymore. When your toes start to curl, and you moan "Faster, Joel, faster!" he complies, rough whiskers scratching the sensitive skin of your tits as he fucks you with the paintbrush that he carved with his own split-knuckle hands to spare you your aching ones.
You barely know what an orgasm feels like anymore, but there's no mistaking this one. The rise and the tightening of muscles, the holding of breath before releasing it in a choked moan, the loosening of limbs, the pounding heat of your pussy.
"Jesus, but that's beautiful," Joel sighs, gently sliding out the brush and putting it to the side before kissing your flushed forehead. "Darlin', you're killin' me."
You chuckle huskily and pass your hands over your face.
"I think it takes a lot more to kill you, Joel Miller."
"I wouldn't bet on it."
The bedding underneath you may keep the draft of the floor at bay, but offers no suspension, so when he edges into you a second time and bottoms out, it's like being split in two between a rock and a hard place. But you can take him, and you cling to his broad shoulders with breaths coming out as hissing.
"Relax," he murmurs, petting your hair as if you were a skittish animal while slowly moving in you. "Sweetheart, you can take it, you're doing it already, you're doing it so well, it feels so good..."
You keen as he spears you again, slowly but steadily, his muscles trembling from the effort of keeping himself from crushing you. Your legs wrap around his thighs, arms around his shoulders and you pull him down, you want to be crushed, you need him like this, steady like a train and sharp like a razor, his breathless kisses on your neck, the groans that may come from pleasure or discomfort from being on the floor, you have no idea, but you need him just like this.
"Come, Joel, come," you gasp into his ear, the good one, and he endures, unwavering in his effort as he digs into you, deep, thorough, devastating.
His climax is a relief and a sadness. You don't want it to end, but you also couldn't bear one more second of it.
Joel slumps to the side, gathering you into his arms as he draws a deep, shaky breath. In the faint light of the embers that are left in the fireplace, you trace the scar on his right cheek and watch his eyelids press shut more firmly before he turns his head to kiss your fingers.
The temperature in the room seems to drop as the heat dies down, and you carefully untangle yourself from Joel's firm hold to put another log on the embers. When it flares up, you return to Joel's side, now finding him watching you.
"You okay?" he asks when you pull a blanket over both of you. Making yourself comfortable, you nod with a little smile and a kiss to his lips.
"Perfect."
"That thing with the brush was... interesting."
You blush. "I don't know what happened."
"Glad it did."
"Joel, I... haven't had sex like that... at all... in decades," you blurt out. "And this was... perfect."
He hums, glances down, and to you it's glaringly obvious that he is conflicted. Your heart sinks just as he speaks up.
"It really was perfect."
"But?" You can't help yourself: there's a slight edge to your tone. Joel leans his head back a little to take a good look at you, the usual disapproving frown back on his face.
"But there was someone," he starts, "for years. And we never had this. Time and place wasn't right."
You exhale in relief. History and baggage are easy to deal with, rejection is not.
"I'm sorry."
He shrugs with a little sound, forehead smoothed out.
"Was she... Ellie's mom?" you dare. Joel shakes his head, and his hand slowly passes over your back, fingers strumming the bump of your spine.
"I didn't know Ellie until a few months ago. This was... someone else. A partner. She took Ellie on, really. I was against it. And she... didn't make it."
You don't want to say that you're sorry again, but don't know what else to say, either. So you kiss him, because you want to, because you think he needs it, because there are no words. Your hand is splayed open on his cheek, his lips and mouth are dry and so are yours, but the kiss is sweet and gentle, and the things you can't find words for are carefully passed on to him. He exhales in a soft sigh onto your cheek, then tilts his chin up to kiss your forehead before burrowing his nose against your hair. It's clear to you that he wants to sleep, but you're buzzing with unexpected energy. Carefully, you slide away from his arms, smiling at his frown, and get up to tip-toe to the desk, where you pick up paper and coal. A faint blush colors your cheekbones when you feel his cum seep out of you, and you hurry back to the makeshift bed, sitting down by Joel's feet.
"C'mere," he barks, but you shake your head.
"Just stay still."
He complies with that frown of his, and you settle down, putting the piece of coal to the paper.
You know how you want to draw him now.
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1-800-local-slut · 2 months
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Home Is Where The Heart Is (Or Where's There's No People)
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Klaus Mikaelson x Black! Fem! Shy! Reader
Reader is Klaus's girl friend. In public, she's shy the moment they get behind closed doors there's no stopping her
I don't know if this counts as a collab, but I'm going to count it as such. I couldn't have written this without @sublimecatgalaxy writing this beautiful work. Go check it out, it's so good omg. I hope you guys like this one and thanks again to @sublimecatgalaxy for letting me write this based off your work!
Warnings: Drinking, sophisticated party, nude painting, reader is horny at the end, allusions to smut, reader is really shy in public, this is a bit short, reader is a bit questionable, smutty thoughts, reader is thick, not a warning but I don't specify what the reader is, make no mistake the reader is a black woman, even tho I lowkey bully Marcel in this make no mistake that is my man, reader teases Klaus and calls him a whore lol
(No srsly, go check out this story it was actually wonderful)
Request are also open if anyone wants to send anything!
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"I just wanted a burger." She frowned, staring at the mirror while Klaus helped slide her body into her dress. Deep sadness and exhaustion reflected in her eyeballs, the same sadness that had been ever-present since Klaus reminded her of their party.
A peace offering with Marcel, which she argued was pointless and declared she could miss. Klaus naturally needed to object! How could he show up to such an event and not bring the most gorgeous person in the world with him? That and he needed another person who could agree with (mostly) all his judgments
"Once we make our way through the riff-raff we can stop on the way home." The custom gown was slid onto her body now, and it highlighted all the best parts of her. All the parts Klaus loved.
"I won't want to stop on the way home, I don't want to go outside in the first place. I hate these parties and I don't want to see Miss Tagrot. Oh God, I can't stand that woman, why does Marcel invite her everywhere? Don't tell me he's sleeping with that thing."
He smirked, smugly, once he turned out of her line of sight to button his sleeves properly. She didn't want to be around anyone besides him and selfish as Klaus was he was overjoyed by this.
She stepped off the small platform she was on that was surrounded by mirrors after a quick look over herself. She looked stunning like she was straight out of history. The dress hugged her figure, and her wig was styled into a gorgeous updo with two pieces of hair framing her gorgeous features.
Klaus needed to call their driver. He stole a glance out of their large bedroom windows after leaving their walk-in closet. Ass hitting the sheets, he shut his eyes for a brief moment to inhale. He could still smell the mix of their scents. A mixture of sweetness and the forest. Once he grabbed his phone off the dresser he let his mind wander.
His ears focused on the sound of the cars outside in his city. The people going about their business, the vampires hunting for a meal. How many of those cars were driving to the very place he was soon to be? How many would be at Marcel's little gathering (which is certainly pointless knowing Marcel and Klaus) tonight?
Suddenly her arms wrapped around his broad chest, and she overtook him. The bed sunk as she crawled onto it, and he felt her soft, long gloves snake around him. Her scent, her feel, everything. She was whispering in his ear, pressing soft kisses to his neck.
How was a man to resist in the face of such beautiful temptation? Don't ask Klaus, he could hardly manage right now.
"Klaus, let's stay home. I'll let you paint me naked again." She whined in his ear, bringing her nails up to his head. Scratching the back of his ears, she wanted to stay home.
"You don't have to lie, I know you like it when I look at you naked." Turning his head, his eyes connected with hers. His eyes found their way to her full lips, and he knew what needed to be done. A soft kiss to her lips and the idea of missing all the possible chaos and creating issues was looking more and more enticing. Staying home and stripping that gown off her sounded so, so much better.
He wouldn't be Klaus Mikaelson if he didn't show up fashionably late, and make an entrance. Blue eyes met dark ones with a buzz of excitement. Klaus fixed their bodies onto the mattress, where she was now flat on her back and Klaus towered over her. The spark in her eyes and the smirk across her lips told Klaus that she won. She won and she knew it, the little minx.
When her arms wrapped around his neck, Klaus dipped down to kiss her again. She ghosted her fingers over the nape of his neck drawing a little pattern.
He couldn't help himself and took advantage of the slit in her dress. While he ran his hand up her thigh and gave a healthy squeeze, Klaus's mind and heart were racing. How could have even thought about going to this party when his girlfriend was here, looking like a gorgeous blast from the past? As if she came straight out of the 1920s with improvements made to the dress that suited her style.
Her hands took a small squeeze at his ass, and Klaus chuckled. Then he was lying down right on top of her, grinding his hips into hers. He could taste tongue as they continued their foreplay.
She overwhelmed his senses so well that Klaus didn't hear Elijah walking up the steps until he knocked on the door. At first, he thought he was having an auditory hallucination but then she cut her eyes sharply to the door.
"What?" She snipped. That just made his suit pants even tighter.
"Sorry to interrupt, but there's a driver here for you two." Elijah chuckled. Of course, Elijah probably heard their passionate kisses and shared shuddered breaths.
"Of all the bloody things, I can never just stay home. Tell him we'll be out in a moment." Klaus crawled off her, wiping the smears of lipgloss off his face. He certainly smears her colored lip makeup all over his face.
"What happened to just wanting to stay home?" Klaus chuckled while she tried to fix the back of her hair.
"We can't just be rude, the drivers already come. It would be different if Elijah never told us but now I feel bad. The poor man is just trying to do his job." She muttered and ran her fingers across his chest. Klaus was perched at the edge of their mattress, and she was sitting up against the pillows, pulling him in like a spider catching a fly. That wicked smirk came across her face again and she brought her face closer to his.
Her eyes met his while she admired the smeared makeup on his face.
"You look like a whore. My whore." She snickered in his ear, running a hand over his thighs just short of where he needed her. He smiled, knowing this was going to be a hard night. Pun intended.
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She gripped him like a bad habit that you couldn't shake no matter what you tried the moment they stepped out of the car. She was Klaus's girlfriend, his wild card who couldn't be tamed, a bear who was standing outside its cave. But once they got somewhere with too many people, the bear went into hibernation and slept until it was time to leave. Not from fear, but simply from sheer kindness.
And Klaus loved knowing she was only quiet for the sake of others. For the sake of not wanting to make enemies of the entire city. Sadly, that was one of Klaus's favorite things to do.
The party was a typical Marcel party. It was moderately loud, there were flashing lights, and crowds of the elite mingled. Live performers and tantalizing meals were off to the side, and Klaus glanced up at the ceiling, seeing people mingling on the upper balconies. Other vampires, of course, Marcel didn't just let anyone up there. Klaus himself finally arrived, so the party could start.
They pushed through the crowds of people. Hello's, compliments, and well wishes were exchanged though Klaus met none of them. Like always, everyone took notice of Klaus's stunning companion no matter how badly she wished they didn't.
She didn't want to be standing in the center of the room (ironic considering that she was dating the man himself, Klaus Mikaelson) but there she was.
"There's the man of the century," Marcel called, making his way down the steps. Stopping before the two, she bristled slightly.
"Marcel." She greeted him curtly. All that needed to be said was said to him. He smiled at her, his grin reminding Klaus of a hunter about to shoot his prey.
"Ma belle." He took the gloved hand that wasn't latching onto Klaus and pressed a soft kiss to it. Deep down inside, Klaus was thrilled to know that this disgusted her. How long did it take for her to allow Klaus to hold her?
"Hm." She smiled politely but took a glass of champagne from a passing waiter who she grabbed with such strength that it showed how badly she wanted to leave. The only time anyone would grab someone for a drink with such ferocity was when that person wanted to be anywhere else.
"Marcel, thank you for inviting us to dinner." Klaus joked as the three of them eyed a woman who walked past them. Klaus hadn't eaten before they left like he usually does so he could hear the thrumming of blood all around him. Marcel let out his usual hearty chuckle and she stuck closer to him.
"Speaking of dinner," Drawing the two's attention back to him. Marcel ran his hands down the front of his suit, Klaus couldn't help but raise an eyebrow. It seemed like the drama Klaus lived for was finally starting.
"Can I show you something, Klaus?" Marcel asked in a more hushed tone. It was that time of night when Klaus sadly had to leave her alone for a bit to handle business. If it were up to him, Klaus would have her superglued to his side.
But alas, sometimes even Klaus Mikaelson couldn't have everything go his way.
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Finding her again was like finding a beacon of light in a dark room. Like a blind man seeing for the first time, Klaus's heart instantly became lighter when he found his beacon again.
Marcel was still upstairs, sleeping off the punch Klaus decided he needed and Klaus happily skipped his way down the steps. His eyes cleared the room once he identified everything he needed.
A random person (or two) for dinner and his light at the end of the tunnel. Thankfully they just happened to be bunched together in one perfect little conversation circle for Klaus to wiggle into. With long steps, Klaus felt a thrill building at being close to her again.
She stood politely, sipping on her drink, and pushed a strand of hair behind her ears. He could hear her heartbeat jumping in her chest and heard an uncharacteristic giggle. Klaus could tell she'd been attempting to drink away her discomfort, the discomfort that followed with his absence.
A piece of chocolate (he made a mental at how it was the same color as her but he refrained from telling her this, as she often expressed annoyance at being compared to food) slipped into her mouth that she grabbed from the treats table, the white lights that shone around the room made her look even more like an angel.
A flash of light came over her brown eyes and Klaus felt his breath stop for just a second. She was too perfect and Klaus wanted to just grab her and go instantly.
The closer he got the happier he got to see her. Sure it was a bit odd how it made him want to jump for joy to know she didn't want to be around anyone else but who was about to say anything to him about it?
"Klaus! Oh, it's great to see you, I wasn't expecting you to come but once I saw this one I knew you couldn't be far behind." Miss Targot, the bane of his girlfriend's existence. She pulled Klaus into a friendly hug, the fur of her collar almost getting into his mouth.
Of course, that tight grip returned to Klaus's side the moment he was free. She was holding his arm once more, and Klaus shook his head slightly. Glancing down, he saw that she was on the verge of being tipsy but thankfully coherent enough to give Klaus little to no issue tonight.
But alcohol did make her more frisky than usual, so it was probably best they made their exit soon before they accidentally shamed themselves in front of all of New Orleans. Or before Klaus decided to pull her into a random room.
Either way, he heard the sound of furniture splintering, and to his left caught a view of some of Marcel's friends pointing down at him. Certainly time for an exit. After all, he still owed her that hamburger.
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"Every time I see that bitch she sounds more and more obnoxious. It's all 'Oh Paris was wonderful' and 'I just adored my trip to Dominican Republic' bitch why are you not home with your children?" Klaus barked out a laugh as she perched onto her vanity seat and slid two earrings into her ears.
She rubbed cocoa butter onto her dark skin, while Klaus placed his paint brushes into his mouth and pulled the curtains wide open to let in the sunlight.
It was the next day now, the two had slept well into the afternoon. They were only woken up by someone throwing a brick through their living room window and this turned out to be someone with some grievances with Rebekah. Now they were sitting in their bedroom, while Elijah and Hayley prepared for the cleaners Klaus sent for to come. Hiding bodies and whatnot while Rebekah dashed around the city, a woman on a mission.
It was finally time for that painting she offered Klaus last night.
In her natural form, he could see her confidence, the fire that resided within her. Barren of heavy makeup, only a touch of blush and lipgloss with some clear mascara for her lashes Klaus felt like he almost didn't deserve to be around her right now.
She was so beautiful and perfect that with all Klaus had done, he didn't deserve to have her posing for him let alone dating him.
"They're probably paying for those trips, the miserable trollop she is I doubt they want her home very often." Klaus joked as he went back to his easel and resumed setting up his paints. Red, browns, deep greens (for the fainting couch she would be lying on), and the color of her large fancy robe. Klaus thought it made her look like a really pretty bird. A really pretty bird that would take out one of your eyes without much hesitation.
After all, it would be rude to snatch someone's eye from their socket.
She snorted, as she slid seductively onto the couch.
"I wouldn't." Klaus watched her get comfortable, with her well-practiced pose (the one Klaus always envisioned in his mind) and prepare to be drawn.
"You wouldn't want to be anywhere with her." Adjusting his easel, it was almost time for him to truly focus.
"No, I don't want to be anywhere without you. You literally know I don't like people, you make them tolerable. I know I'll have an eyewitness to the absurdity I see. Now enough about her, draw me like one of your French girls." Her brows wiggled and they both took a pause. Silence and then laughter.
The line from that ridiculous movie that Klaus was really mad that he actually enjoyed (and that admittedly turned him on) made him and her cackle. His sides hurt and the sides of his eyes crinkled. She was trying not to roll off the couch from how hard she was laughing, cackling actually, so loud that it was probably heard down the street along with Klaus's loud bellows.
The sound that came from their bedroom so often, usually induced by her, eventually settled from Klaus's doubled-over form. She somehow rolled onto her stomach and they both calmed down.
Eventually, the silence settled and they fell back into their usual conversation. Things about the baby, when she would be born, how much she liked snacks, Klaus teasing her and her telling him to lick her ass, Klaus of course thrilled to do so.
His pencil ran over the easel, the first sketch being perfectly designed while his mind wandered. She began to sing (horribly off-key though intentional) and Klaus lightly scolded her to hold still.
She was Klaus's girlfriend. His girlfriend who, for the sake of others, held her tongue in public but when it was just the two of them she was a shining star. A force of unstoppable grace and nature. His girlfriend, whom Klaus could just be a regular guy with and just laugh as loud as he pleased at nothing in particular.
Above all though, she was Klaus's. And deep down inside nothing else mattered more to him than that.
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