#I did find a series that was about monsters and dragons in a modern setting and had gays but

[modstin]

A Yuletide Carol, Stave 1: Bob Cratchit

A slightly tilted retelling of the Charles Dickens classic, featuring illustrations!

Before we can begin on this mutual enjoyment of fiction, it must be set out first and straight the fact of one Jacob Marley.

He's dead.

Jacob Marley, in fact, died almost a decade ago. Seven years, to the day where this story shall actually begin (which I promise will happen shortly). His death certificate was signed by the clergy that handled the funeral, and by his partner; Ebenezer Scrooge.

Ebenezer Scrooge, at the funeral, did have a few kind words for the man. “A fine businessman,” he said, “Intellectual and prudent. A man you could bend a horseshoe around, good for the money,” and so forth.  

If there was anything Ebenezer knew personally about the man, he did not show it. Scrooge knew he was dead, at the very least. Of course he would know that, he'd been partnered to him for many many years before his demise, and even found him sitting stone dead in the seat that would soon hold his assistant clark. 

But that was seven years ago. And Marley has been dead for those seven years. Mind you, this is not an uncommon state of affairs. I think you'll find most people are dead. Really, they're the majority. And it's a stain on democracy that we so rarely listen to them.

The fact that Marley is dead is important to come completely to terms with, as not doing so and pretending the opposite will make some of the further dreadful scenes I will relate to you quite confusing. It would be silly, after all, to react with such fear and horror to one's father entering the room, were you not Hamlet and your father been dead since before the play started. So yes, remember that fact, Jacob Marley is dead.

Another thing I must educate you on is the world you are about to enter. I assume you already have a firm grasp on the difference between fiction and reality, and thus I must explain that the story I am about to tell you is completely true. It really did happen.

It just happened to take place in a completely fictional world.

Unlike many fantasy novels, where you'll find a series of maps and factions and wars and a timeline and perhaps a 20 hour audiobook detailing the epic and admittedly napworthy lore of the backdrop and its strange and remarkably over thought ruleset governing how magic works, I feel it only necessary to bore you with the very basics.

It is a fantasy world, not unlike those you've seen in those fancy movies. You know the ones where the effects budgets quite outweigh tenfold the cost of living for all the homeless people sleeping outside the studio. Lack of budget notwithstanding, I'll try to make this just as entertaining as those, though with likely less sword fights and magic duels.

In this fantasy world, there is indeed magic. But like in real life, where we may be aware of Quicksand and Spike Pits and Giant Monstrous Lizards who would tower above even our finest war tanks... Rarely are these facts relevant to day-to-day activities, unless you happen to be a paleontologist. 

So the story that I'm going to tell you is terrific, even to the old fool it will be happening to. Don't think just because he lives in a world with dragons, that what he's going to experience is anywhere near his normal.

This world that I will be showing to you is called Mira. It is a world with blue oceans, green grass, many different types of animals, and very few of our modern conveniences. It also has a ring around it, like Saturn! It's very pretty.

Monsters and Magic aside, there will be times I use words one could mistrue as an insult. Let me shake those worries away now, when I refer to someone as a Goblin, that is quite a literal sentiment. They have green skin, a large nose, floppy ears, and enjoy living in little underground tunnels. None of the goblins in this story, however, do so, they live in apartments and little houses just like you and me. 

Note that species will be rarely relevant to this story, and anything breaking from the normal day to day life of your average hard working paleontologist that is relevant will be promptly explained to you. There will be, of course, provided illustrations, which should be illuminating if not entirely illogical.

Where should we begin... the beginning isn't good, I already told you the details of that. Jacob Marley, dead, you get it. Perhaps the present then. Yes, let's go with that.

The sun rose. It was perhaps the only thing it really did outside of being bright. Producing heat seemed to be low on its list of priorities this morning. For this was, of course, the Eve of Yule.

Yule, in certain parts of Mira, is celebrated as part of the Winter Solstice. It is the day of, in fact. The shortest day of the year, at least in the hemisphere we're concerned with for this story. Yule is preceded by Yule's Eve, which is itself preceded by about half a month of general worry and preparation known as Yuletide.

Yule may, in some sense, present parallels to certain festivals on Earth. This is intentional. Write what you know, after all. I may enlighten you to the specifics soon, but don't count on it. I'm not a very reliable narrator.

The light was intense, even with no heat backing it, as it got many chances to reflect on the surface of ice and snow throughout the streets of Amalen, capital city of the Melodic Empire (sometimes called just Melodia, to sound less boastful or challenging to nearby powers).

The rush of inward cold air was comparable to a ship sprouting a leak a few inches from your face. And it took many forceful pushes to get the door closed again. Not because of much wind, but because of the shaggy rug that Bob Cratchit had gotten second hand from one of his cousins.

"Phew!" Cratchitt muttered, patting the frost of the outdoors off of his furred rabbitish face (And I do mean this literally, remember what I said earlier please). He adjusted his coat as his wife approached, holding a few pieces of forlorn clothing.

"Your scarf dear."

"Ah, yes."

"And your hat, dear."

"Of course, what would I do without you-"

"And your pants. Dear."

Bob Cratchit adjusted his stance a bit and lifted one of his feet to pop it into the short set of trousers. Wearing pants was a bit more optional for some folk on Mira, what with modest fur coverings, but on a day like today, freezing some important bits of yourself off would be a consequence.

Emily Cratchit patted down her husband's clothing to straighten it out after tying his scarf about his neck. Emily, in point of fact, was not very rabbit-like. Rather, she was a goblin. Not very plump like they often are, but with long hair and dark green speckles of freckles. It was thanks to her being a goblin and having such a height as one that she didn't have to kneel or stand on tiptoes to kiss Bob, "Now, you’re to have a fine day, and you're to ask Scrooge for a raise like we talked about last night." She stated it as a fact rather than a question or suggestion.

Bob had a few starts as he faced down the oncoming carriage, and decided to try to risk going between the wheels, "Darling, it's... well, you know its a bit more complex than-"

"Robert Cratchit!" Bob realized far too late that before there was the carriage, there was also the horse to worry about, "You cannot keep apologizing for that old man's miserliness! I won't have it any longer! You work so much overtime for that old fool and have nothing to show for it!" Emily pressed forward, and shook her finger in her husband's face, "We need more money here!"

"I know, dear-" Bob placated.

"Not just for Timothy, Aude knows he needs it, but..." She placed her hand against her stomach, perhaps unconsciously.

Bob did the same, putting his palm on top of the back of her hand and getting close. A warm atmosphere of love pressed outwards, a foggy kind of dream that Bob felt he was lost in whenever he looked into his wife's eyes. Even after these years, and the many struggles to make it from one to the next. "I promise... I'll ask."

"Thank you, dear." Emily said, leaning forward and embracing him. After the short hug, she let go and shoved him towards the door, "Well, get a move on. I must get started on tomorrow's dinner."

At the best of times, and despite himself, Bob sometimes found his wife's cooking questionable, but this was downright interrogative, "You're starting tomorrow's dinner this morning?"

"You deal with numbers and old fools," Emily said, "And I'll deal with the cooking. Understood?"

Bob had no willingness to get in front of another carriage nor horse this morning, "Yes dear. I'll see you this evening!" He smiled and took his hat in both hands, lifting it and popping it right onto his head! It looked a bit like one of those drawings in fairytales, where a rabbit wore a silly tophat with its ears sticking out. Like an upside down outcome of a backwards magician's act. But it was warm, and that's what counted.

He stepped out of his home. It was a two story structure, but built very thin, and the stories were rather stout anyway, since it was made for goblins and munchkins like Emily and Bob. Half the Size doesn't necessarily mean Half the Living Space, but Half the Budget often does.

Bob bounced along as bunnies tend to do, and headed down the street so as to not be late to work at Scrooge and Marley's.

As Bob Cratchit dodged a slow rolling cart, making his way across frosted cobbles and snowdrifts from the previous night's meteorological efforts, he was caught by the sudden warmth of a window, bringing with it the sweet scent of freshly baked bread.

"Bonjour Monsieur Cratchit!" Said the fat man who leaned out the window Bob had been crossing under.

Melodic was Bob's first language, but he had become too used to speaking Merchant's Tongue, a favorite of metropolitan Melodians. However, Jean Paris the baker often peppered the words into his natural dialect to keep conversation fresh as bread. "Oh! Bonjour Monsieur Paris." Bob nodded, keeping his paws tightly tucked into his pockets. "Baking for tomorrow?"

"Oui! I have a very special order, in fact!" Mr. Paris said, leaning on one arm out of "For Monsieur Scrooge and his big Yule party tomorrow!"

Bob stared at Mr. Paris, then looked down the street for a few moments. He was frozen in contemplation, the cold air having nothing to do with it. After hesitation, he turned his head, and with sudden exclamation, "Ebenezer Scrooge is hosting a Yule Party?" The complaint that Bob, Scrooge's single employee, had not been invited was at the back of the line in terms of questions and concerns to be filed immediately.

"What?! No no no!" The fat man began to laugh as he waved his hands frantically, "Ooh hoh hoh! If- If Ebenezer Scrooge-" He had to catch his breath, but kept laughing as he talked, "If Ebenezer Scrooge hosted a party! Why! He'd be selling the slices of ham by the millimeter! Hahaha! He'd be- There'd be a fee at the door! And you'd get a bill afterwards for air consumption in his house! Hahahaha!" The man chortled and laughed further on the mere idea that Ebenezer Scrooge would ever host anything beyond ill-will.

"Right..." Bob said, turning his eyes down to the sidewalk as he considered his boss for a moment...

Scrooge. What could be said about him?

Tight Fisted was a good phrase, though a more accurate turn of phrase would include words like 'locked' and 'glued' and 'cement encased'. A clamp upon money like an oyster on a pearl. Sharp as flint but never so generous as to give warmth to anyone without a percentage interest on the steel. Hard-set in his ways, a rut to and from his office.

A hobgoblin, with a wiry chin and sharp features, cold and cruel even for the generally stern folk that hobs tended to be. A permanent frown affixed to his over-wrinkled elderly face, fitted with a squint that could sour beer and a sneer that could curdle milk. All the better to glare down debtors from his desk.

He wouldn't step in a puddle to splash an orphan, merely because doing so would mean he'd have to pay to get his socks cleaned. Lo was there to be any child in his way, however. Were a blind man to be in Scrooge's path on his rounds, their guiding animal would pull them to an alley and refuse to move until the hob had passed. If the King himself were traveling with his retinue down a predetermined road, which just so happened to leave Scrooge's schedule out of its plans, he would add five turns to avoid crossing the hob.

Even the weather had little effect on the eternally congested man, no chill able to reach bones so frosted over by a cold and dead heart which barely beat more than once a minute. What worse could a rime of frost across his face do to the already bloodshot leering man with a gait so frigid it brought about a blizzard of hate in its wake?

Yes, Scrooge was all that and worse. And he was Bob Cratchit's boss.

"No!" Mr. Paris said, snapping Bob from his contemplation, "Of course not! I'm talking about dear old Fred! His Nephew! Wonderful man, one of my finest customers! He's hosting a party tomorrow. Hm, wish I were invited. I've heard they're quite rambunctious with their beer!" The man's smile stretched down two of his chins.

"Mm." Bob said, still mildly distracted. Then he looked up at Mr. Paris, "If you'd like, Monsieur, you can of course pay a visit to my home! I doubt my wife will take portion size into account! She thinks Tiny Tim can eat so much more than he can, you know. I bet there'll be more than leftovers."

"Ah... Tim." Mr. Paris nodded, "How is he doing?"

"Better! The young lady that came yesterday said he'd be... he'd likely be able to get to the table for Dinner! No... presents this year, what with the treatment. B-But he's happy. He's very excited for tomorrow, you know how kids are."

"Right..." Mr. Paris said. He tried to shift the mood again with a smile, "I'll be sure to hold you to that dinner, Cratchit, if I can pull myself out of the oven! Last minute Yule Cakes are the bread and butter of my operation in winter, aside from the bread and the butter, I mean! Hoh hoh hoh!" The man laughed at his own little joke, wiping chilled sweat from his forehead.

"Haha hahh..." Bob feigned a laugh, "I ought to be getting along. Nice talking to you, Monsieur!" Bob said, offering a friendly nod before bounding off down the street.

"Mmmh..." Mr. Paris sighed to himself, watching Bob leave, "Mayhaps a small cake for the boy... rabbits eat... carrots, right? Or is that offensive..." He muttered.

Scrooge had never painted over the sign. It read Scrooge and Marley's. It had for seven years, and long before that, just with the latter being alive at that time. Scrooge didn't care to have it painted, doing so would cost at least a dollar. Scrooge answered to either name these days, it made no difference.

Besides, anyone walking up the street would first see the sign hanging perpendicular, showing the Multi-Headed Draconic Symbol of the Silver Guild.

The Silver Guild was a sort of guild of bankers. It runs operations of banking, tax collecting, and money lending from either side of the continent, not just for Melodia. And one of the many operating offices in Amalen under their guildship was Scrooge and Marley's.

When Bob entered, he was looking at his watch. Then he heard the choking.

Bob's hops picked up pace as he bounded around the small desk he manned at the front, and into the back room. The office that Scrooge used.

It was sparing of detail, very good for me as a writer! It had a filing cabinet, a desk, a chair, an old coughing man in that chair, a candle, and a few necessary items. A single pen, a sheet of paper, and an abacus. It had nothing else.

And I do mean nothing else. It had no atmosphere, no warmth, no feeling of being filled or used, merely occupied. Its stagnant and cold air was only warmed up by the vibrations of the man having a fit in the midst of it. And that's when Bob slapped his boss on the back.

The hocked loogie of phlegm was dislodged. You'd expect something like black tar or nicotine ladened sludge. But if you'd expect that, you clearly haven't yet picked up on the kind of man that Scrooge was. Indeed, were tobacco free, he might have partaken. But the cost of addiction was too high... not to his health, mind you, but to his wallet.

"LATE!" He struggled out after air had finally reached his shriveled old lungs, "You're late, Cratchit." He said between panting gasps.

"... What?" Politeness had streamed out of Bob's range as confusion settled in.

"Don't those big ears do anything for you, man? I said you're late!"

"... No I'm not!" Bob said, usually never one to argue with his boss, "I'm right on time!"

With a flip and a light snatching sound, Ebenezer Scrooge had his pocket watch in his hand, "Seven O' Clock... One MInute and Thirteen Seconds Late."

Thankfully, Bob had his watch in his hand as well, and checked it, "Well- Well yes, but I got in a minute and thirteen seconds ago, sir! I was patting your back!"

"I could've handled it!" Ebenezer waved his hand, "You're wasting my time! My money! I'm paying you for your schedule, Bob Cratchit! That means you ought to be doing what I pay you to do! Not bothering around in my office!"

"I-" Bob started to say something, but then nodded. He had long ago realized how far you could push an argument with Scrooge. The argument was usually a few inches from a sheer cliff, no matter what it was about. "Right sir. Sorry sir." He didn't have to feign apology, that has never worked once in the history of argument. Exasperation did its job in place of lies.

"I'll be taking the minutes out of your pay. Two minutes ten seconds Bob. Get to your desk and good morning to you." Scrooge never once said Good Morning as a greeting, nor Good Afternoon. Bob had never heard him say Good Evening, certainly. Good Night was often followed by a comment on how much time Bob had wasted during the Good Day.

Bob hopped out of Ebenezer's office and sat at his desk, adjusting his seating as he pulled out papers. The chill of the new winter sprung into his bones, and he tightened his scarf. If there were heating in Scrooge and Marley's, then it seemed to be much less admonished for calling off than Bob was.

There was another fit of coughing, but Bob ignored it as he flipped through files on the new league of debtors that Scrooge had been bleeding dry.

Scrooge lent to his side and hocked up another wad of phlegm onto the floor next to him. He grunted as he took in a breath afterwards. His eye went down to the blob, and then back to his papers. "Bah... Cratchit can clean it later." he muttered.

It was some time later that someone actually entered into the office of Scrooge and Marley's. Rarely did anyone seem cheerful to do so, and when they did, it did not last long past the door. Bob saw two masked and robed women enter.

It would be pertinent to describe to you what the regional celebration of Yule is, as well as what these strange women are. I promise to try to keep it as short as I can.

The two women standing before Bob Cratchett are members of the Shianistic Religious Order, specifically the sect of Veritan Saintism. If these words confuse you, then pretend they don't exist. They're named Shians because of their masks, which are called Shia. They worship one of the many gods (as fantasy worlds oft have more than one) named Aude. Her holy light, guidance of all, true caretaker of the meek, and so on and so forth. You can make up the rest if you’d like, the Shians do so often.

Saintist Shians also worship a set of other gods, though calling them that would very much upset any Catholics reading this, so I'll refrain and call them what they are; Saints. One such Saint is named Noelle.

As the story goes, Noelle died in a blizzard trying to deliver a sled full of goodies to an orphanage. The goodies arrived safely, of course, as is the way with folk stories. And she has been called upon to deliver goods and cheer to the little children of those homes who worship Aude in the coldest bit of winter. Yuletide was not distinctly a Shian holiday, but was celebrated as such by Saintists.

This is why there were two strange women wearing masks and robes. Shianism being his religion of choice, and being a church going man in spite of his boss' protests, Bob was familiar with the two.

"I am Mel."

"I am Mal."

"... No. No. You are Mel. I am Mal."

"I am Mel? You are Mal?"

"Yes."

"Yes."

Bob had to assume they thought this bit was very clever, since they seemed to do it every single time they introduced themselves.

The two shians wore normal garb. Hoods, Robes, Gloves, Masks, and some warmer accouterments like boots. One was red, the other green, though they were absurdly disproportionate. Mel was exceptionally short, and Mal the opposite. Their masks were upside down. They were one of the stranger species you'd find in the magical fantasy world of Mira; being Punchinellettes (Punchinello being the masculine term).

Clowns. They were clown people. You couldn't see the big red noses with the masks on, but clowns are clowns wherever in the universe you wander.

Ina stepped between them. An average of their heights and wearing blue garb, a normal mask, a bit of colorful hair around the hood, "And I am Ina!" She said, finishing the bit despite Bob already knowing her name. She broke character immediately to cross her arms. "Oh dear, it's cold in here... is the heating broken?"

Indeed, it was cold. The faint wisps of air that carried the candle light closer to Cratchit gave the only bits of warmth he had enjoyed since coming into work. If walls were for keeping weather out, then they were slacking. It was likely that the only reason Scrooge didn't work out in the middle of a field rather than pay for a building was because there'd be nowhere to keep the money.

"No..." Bob said, unsure of the truthfulness of his answer, "How may I help you, Ina?"

"We are seeking donations for Yule!" The cheeriness of the statement was punctuated by a thump from Scrooge's office, which forced a shiver up Bob's spine.

His expression froze, "Oh… you are?"

"Indeed. Is Mr. Marley or Mr. Scrooge in? I'd like to-"

"Mmm?" Grumbled out the proprietor as he opened his office door.

The old hobgoblin stood, hunched over a cane. He seemed built for three legs. The glare just wouldn't be right if it wasn't slightly pointed up at you.

Bob faded into the background of the conversation, aware now that this local shian had not yet acquainted herself with Mr. Scrooge... Perhaps this was her first round. Perhaps she had been between choices and seen a Silver Guild house that, for some reason, was not on her list. And decided to poke in and greet the likely very generous man who hadn't yet been called upon to give.

"Mr Marley, I presume?" Ina said.

"Presume wrong. Marley's been dead seven years. Died on this very night, seven years ago, in fact..."

"Oh. Then I'm sure his spirit is carried on by his living partner then!" Ina wound her way back magnificently, "It is upon these solemn and cold days in the midst of winter that-"

"Autumn." Scrooge interjected.

"... Ah?"

"Autumn. Winter starts tomorrow. That's what a solstice is."

Bob shrunk in his chair, wishing very much he could literally fade into the background. Any ground other than the middle would be choice right about now...

"W-Well, on the Eve of Winter, when it is most cold and dire. We wish to give to our community! The Shian's do run a Home for the Homeless, and of course there is our Free Medical Care for the disadvantaged. We also pitch in for funds for local orphanages and soup kitchens in the nearby villages!" Ina said. She lifted her pen and a pad of paper, "So many are in want of... common comforts, and its thanks to donations like yours that the necessities of these disadvantaged and impoverished are met."

"Mmm..." Scrooge thought, scratching the tip of his chin. Bob couldn't help but to turn his head and watch the wrinkles on his boss's face move across his expressions as he considered.

"Are there no prisons?" Scrooge asked.

Ina looked away for a moment, repathing her thought, "Uh. Yes, sir. I'm certain there still are many prisons. I am aware of the local Prison offshore, at the very least... One of my cousins works there, performing-"

"Are there no workhouses?" Scrooge further prodded, honest concern in his voice.

"Oh dear, unfortunately there are. Despite the work of the Guilds to combat unfair work practices, there are still workhouses open on, what I must say are shakey legal-"

"And those... child labor laws, they've been enacted, then surely?" His line of questions had a serious tone, concern riddled it like the plague.

"Ah, you mean the ones to combat those small 'farms'." The disgust in the woman's voice came with the quotes, "Not yet, though I'm sure our patricians will soon push through such legislation." She sounded quite cheered at this. Bob could only wonder what she thought Scrooge was actually getting at...

"Ah. I was wondering if something had happened. Based on what you were saying at first. That these very useful institutions had been lost to this social progress."

Ina stopped moving, her face ostensibly pointed at Scrooge, she resorted to memory and lifted her pen again, "What shall I put you down for, Mr. Scrooge?"

"Nothing. Of course." Scrooge said.

"... Ah!" Ina said, nodding, "You wish to remain anonymous, I-"

"Nothing." Scrooge repeated, "I wish to be left alone! If there is an answer you seek, that is the one I offer, young lady. If the poor wish to be merry on Yule, they may happily take themselves to the establishments I had mentioned!"

"Many cannot!" Ina said, trying to steer the conversation to one she could fill with her own creed, "And still, many would rather die than work for those borderline illegal institutions."

"Then let them die!" The old Hob shook his head, speaking as though talking to a complete moron, "It's not my business what the wasteful and the poor do! If they died, much the better to the economy! We're better without bums!"

"And what of the sick?" Ina said, her mask drifted to Bob, who had put his head down out of an ingrained rabbit survival instinct to burrow in the face of danger.

"Bah!" Scrooge said, "If they're not getting better themselves, and they can't AFFORD to eat a little gruel, they can die too! Die in the gutter, die in the streets, as long as they do so away from my business."

Mel and Mal, who had not said or done much of anything during this argument, serving as mere set dressing for the charity collection, now looked at eachother. They didn't seem to come to any conclusion, and looked back to Scrooge.

"The business of all people is generosity and to the betterment of one's fellow man!" Ina touted.

"What would you know about business, you bible thumping fool." Scrooge spat, "You wouldn't know a hard day's work if it ripped your silly masks off! The better for it, you live on donations and charity. Why don't you tear down that stupid cathedral you have and sell the stone if you so desperately want to give handouts to hobos and bums, hm?"

"How can you say such things on the Eve of Yule! It is the time of the year for generosity, Mr. Scrooge!"

"Yule..." Scrooge sneered, "Bah, humbug!" He made a dismissive motion, "Nothing but a cold snap that makes people want to steal from my purse. Bah humbug to the whole celebration! The whole month! The whole winter! Good Afternoon, ladies." He hobbled back and slammed his office door.

Bob finally lifted his head from the desk and dug about in his coat’s pockets.

Bob hopped off his chair and walked around the desk,  "I'm so... sorry about that." He whispered. "You should go... uhm, here." He took out a coin and slipped it into the little can Mel was holding. "I'm so so sorry."

"HUFF! What a terrible man! Noelle should curse him for his selfishness." Ina fumed. The steam coming off of her would have been visible if she had not been wearing a full body cloak.

"He's not that bad..." Bob whispered, "You just have to... get to know him a bit..." He looked incredulous of his own statement as he glanced back at the door to Scrooge's office.

"You have a good heart, Mr. Cratchit, dear." Ina said, looking down, "But - 'Do not waste what love you have on those who would not share it, or it will be lost', Lehsda 2:10." She opened the can and returned the coin, "I know you need this. Please give Tim my warmest for tomorrow. Merry Yule." She turned and left.

Mel and Mal stood silently for a bit before turning and leaving as well, trying to squeeze out the door despite it not being big enough for both of them at once. It took a while, and would have been humorous if Bob weren't already feeling the pressure of time. Eventually he just closed the door to force them out in one poff of collapsing into the street's snow.

A while back, quite a while now, I mentioned that Mira, the fantasy world in which this story takes place, has a ring. It's quite beautiful, especially now, at the very peak of night. The moon was high above, full and bright, you could almost see the shadow of Noelle's sled as her mythical wildcat pulled it through the stars... and that light unfortunately also hit Scrooge and Marley's.

The chill had set in quite a bit more, after a high in the 'good afternoon', it reached back down to grasp the hearts and hands of anyone unfortunate enough to be out in the streets.

Fires had been built in the alleys for beggars and stragglers in life to hobble around, eating what they had been tossed or found throughout the day. The singing of a child on the doorstep of Scrooge and Marley's ended quite abruptly when Scrooged asked (at a very high volume) for Bob to go grab the poker from the furnace.

Bob wasn't sure where that would be, or if they even had one, but it did indeed make that slight comforting distraction go away.

But now it was night. Cold, chilly, and Bob was putting away his things.

"Mr. Scrooge?" Bob said, walking towards the office door, "I'll uhm... be going home, now... Sir."

"Right." He said, "And you'll be wanting tomorrow off, I imagine?"

"Well... yes, sir..." Bob said, through the door. He took off his hat now, rotating it in his fingers as nervousness drove through his bones.

"Bah... and you think me not abused in such a way, a full day's pay for a no day's work..."

"It is... Yule, sir. After all." Bob said.

"Oh, and I'm certain that should I have my pocket picked once a year, I should be fine with that too? Just because it happens on the same day?"

"No, Mr. Scrooge."

"If you are to have the whole day, be earlier the next. Do not be late like this morning, Cratchit." The sounds of shuffling paper continued.

Bob stood at the office door. He stood there for quite a while. It felt like yule had come, gone, and then come again before the nerves had steeled themselves enough for him to reach out and open the office door.

"Yes?" Scrooge didn't look up.

"Mr. Scrooge- I... I feel I do a very fair share around here."

"Fair, hm?"

"And my notary work is quite the best I've seen, might I add! My shorthand is quick, and I'm very welcoming to our clients-"

"Did you come in here to brag, Crachit?" Scrooge asked, finally looking up at him over the rim of his half-moon spectacles, the ones he used to read the names of all the people he felt were stealing from him in one way or another.

"No, sir." Cratchit said. With all the bravery and backbone that the possibility of a ‘stern talking to' by his wife could muster, he said "I think I deserve a Raise, sir."

"A raise."

Bob didn't answer. He simply kept staring at Scrooge. As the seconds turned closer and closer to a minute of staring, the confidence began to melt. At the very least, he could see the wrinkles moving, he knew Scrooge was... thinking about it.

"Mm." Scrooge said, not dismissively nor very affirmatively, "Ask me again tomorrow." He pulled his abacus towards himself.

"Oh but, uh... Sir, tomorrow I'll be at home. It's Yule."

Scrooge scowled and made another show of moving his abacus before clasping his hands on his desk, "So you want a raise and a vacation?"

"Huh?"

"And then what will you do? Waste it on more... beggars like those shians from earlier? Hm?" He turned his cheek and smiled a sinister grin, then changed it to a scowl again, "If you want money, you work."

"Sir, tomorrow is Yule!"

"Bah humbug! Yule! A foolish holiday for foolish men!" He wagged his finger, "You want to squeeze any more cash out of me, you can come in tomorrow, or never come back! Charity Case Cratchit!"

"But sir! I have- I have another child on the way, I need the money!"

"Oh, so your inability to act like a person instead of a rabbit is now weighing on my pocketbook? I think not! You're lucky I don't dock your pay for tardiness."

"You do dock my pay for tardiness!" Bob said. He swallowed down what he was intending to say next, beating it back with as much of his humility as he could... but the dam had already been leaking, and it was time for it to break.

Scrooge watched what certainly wasn't a visible transformation, but one of atmosphere. It was difficult, however, so confided in his own world of misery to see the growth of rage in someone else's.

 Bob scrunched up his face, gripped his hat tight, then said, "Then good day to you, Scrooge! You can keep this job and... and shove it! You rotten old fool!"

"HAH!" Scrooge laughed, his unending snear tilting upward into a sadistic grin "Enjoy starving in the streets like those homeless you so do love so much then! Get out of my office!" He pointed beyond Bob.

Bob hopped past what he had always thought of his desk, and to the door.

For a brief moment, he stopped and turned his head. A thought of mercy, of care for the old man had almost breached his blind anger, but it found itself entering a tavern where the proprietor was less than thrilled to serve it.

He walked out, and slammed the door in his wake, hopping his way down the cold street.

He stopped a ways away, only about a block, and looked up to the shining moon. He frowned, staring up at the great glowing pearl in the sky, and the horizon itself glowing from the ring of his world. He twisted his hat a bit, and then put it onto his head again. He sighed, "Oh, Mr. Scrooge... why did I ever try to see the good in a man like you..." He continued hopping away. If he really was fired, he could save that news for after Yule.

#Christmas #A Christmas Carol #ebenezer scrooge #fantasy writing #retelling #yuletide #yule #Christmas Carol #writing #writers on tumblr

[dandunn]

God. Trying to find books with gay protagonists that aren't coming of age teen dramas or generic fantasy is a frigging nightmare.

#I did find a series that was about monsters and dragons in a modern setting and had gays but #wasn't very good #this sucks

[tyrantisterror]

THE A.T.O.M. CREATE A KAIJU CONTEST 3-D!!!

YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE SAFE!  YOU THOUGHT THAT THE TIME OF MONSTERS WAS AT AN END!  BUT YOU WERE WRONG, FOR NOW YOU MUST WITNESS…

THE A.T.O.M. CREATE A KAIJU CONTEST 3-D!!!

That’s right, it’s back!  Celebrating the publication of The Atomic Time of Monsters Volume 2: Tyrantis Roams the Earth! (which in turn completes The Ballad of Tyrantis arc for this series), I’m holding another monster design jam.  The third of such jams, in fact!

Like the first A.T.O.M. Create a Kaiju Contest, the aim of this contest is to create kaiju that would fit within the setting of my big kaiju story series, The Atomic Time of Monsters.  Think of it as me letting you into my sandbox to play with my toys for a bit, or like you’re being put in the director’s chair of a new ATOM-verse kaiju movie.  That means your entry does have to fit into ATOM’s world, which in turn means that yes, there are limitations to your creativity here.  But limitations can be good sometimes - they can make us explore options we wouldn’t consider when given completely free rein to do what we want!

(also you don’t have to make a three dimensional image or anything, the title’s just a pun on how the third movie in a monster movie franchise will often be a 3-D film)

Read below the cut to learn the rules and whatnot:

THE RULES:

1.  You are limited to one entry per person.  Work hard and make your entry count!

2.  Your kaiju must have some sort of description of its physical appearance and its personality - you can submit a drawing or a written description (or both!) for the physical appearance depending on what you’re most comfortable with.  Using the same template/format as my official ATOM Kaiju Files (https://horrorflora.com/monster-menageries/atom-kaiju-files/) isn’t required, but it was cool when people did it in the last contest, so feel free to do so this time too!

3. The kaiju you create must specifically be created for this contest  - no repurposing characters you made for other, wildly different stories.  This is not “trick TT into drawing/canonizing my main OC” time.

4. The kaiju must fit the setting and aesthetics of ATOM.  I’ll explain this in more detail down below.

5. The kaiju should add something meaningful to the world of ATOM. The more unique and interesting your kaiju is, the more likely you will win the contest.

6. Don’t make your kaiju too dependent on pre-existing ATOM characters - no “Tyrantis’s long lost evil brother who’s the strongest kaiju in the world.” These should be to Tyrantis’s story what War of the Gargantuas is to Godzilla’s movies – heroes (well, monsters) of another story in the same world.

THE REWARDS:

I will make pencil sketches of the top 5 entries in the contest.

I will then make fully rendered illustrations (lineart, colors, & shading) of the top three entries.

The winning entry will be made into a model ala the ones I’ve been making for ATOM’s core 50 monsters, which can then be shipped to the person who created it (should they be able to cover the shipping costs).  That’s right, your kaiju could be brought to life in THREE GLORIOUS TECHNICOLOR DIMENSIONS!  (Hey, we worked the gag title in to the prizes!)

THE DEADLINE: All entries must be submitted by July 3rd, 2021.  You can submit it here on tumblr, via the horror flora e-mail, or any other channel you know how to reach me through.  I’m in a lot of places.

THE GUIDELINES (TO HELP YOUR ENTRY FIT THE RULES AND WIN):

The smartest thing you could do if you want to win this contest is familiarize yourself with the world of ATOM by, y’know, reading all the material I’ve published on the subject.  In addition to the many kaiju files that are free to read on horrorflora.com, there are now TWO, count ‘em, TWO novels in this series for you to peruse, both of which establish many of the rules of the setting as well as its general themes and tone!  You can get them in either paperback or e-book formatting (I’d recommend the former over the latter since I lack the technology to make a really nice ebook, but if money is an object, the kindle version is only $1).  Here’s the links again if you missed them:

Vol. 1: Tyrantis Walks Among Us!

Vol. 2: Tyrantis Roams the Earth!

However, since I know reading a bunch of stuff is, y’know, not something everyone is inclined to do, I’ll jot some good bullet points for you in an attempt to outline how ATOM works in a brief, easily digested way:

ATOM is an homage to the monster fiction of the 1950’s and 60’s (i.e. the Atomic Age), and is set in those two decades, albeit an alternate universe version of them where, y’know, monsters and space aliens exist.  If you aren’t familiar with the monster fiction I’m referring to, there will be some reference material provided at the end of this post along with some recommendations for further research.

Kaiju/giant monsters in ATOM work under very specific rules.  There’s a full description of those rules at this link, but here’s the jist:

ATOM Kaiju are created created by the radiation of a mineral called Yamaneon, which naturally converts harmful radiation into its own unique energy.  In natural circumstances, it takes hundreds of years of exposure to Yamaneon radiation for a creature to become fully transform into a kaiju (luckily, Yamaneon radiation slows the aging process while speeding up the healing process).  However, an explosive burst of energy - such as the geothermal and kinetic energy released by an earthquake, or the blast of a nuclear weapon - can speed up the process, turning a normal animal into a kaiju within a matter of seconds.  

All ATOM kaiju can heal grievous wounds within minutes or even seconds, are supernaturally strong and durable, and can convert harmful radiation to harmless energy that they then feed off of.  Kaiju do not have an equivalent of old age, and can theoretically live forever (though their violent lifestyle means that few do).

ATOM Kaiju generally don’t need to eat unless they are severely injured, getting most of the energy they need from solar or geothermal radiation - but many still have instincts that drive them to seek out food from time to time.

Most ATOM kaiju stand roughly 100 feet tall (depending on their body shape), i.e. smaller than the original 1954 Godzilla.  There are exceptions to this rule - younger kaiju can be smaller, while exceedingly old kaiju can be significantly larger, but these are rare.

In general, ATOM kaiju are significantly more intelligent and emotionally complex than people expect animals to be, though most are incapable of speech or complex tool use.  There’s a reason ATOM Kaiju Files have a “personality” section.

Most ATOM Kaiju are tooth and claw fighters - ranged weapons are a rarity in this setting.

While the terrestrial monsters in ATOM look strange, they are intended to fit within the taxonomy of animals in reality - reptiles, mammals, fish, arthropods, molluscs, etc.

ATOM’s mesozoic era was dominated by a fictional clade of crocodile-relatives called retrosaurs, which are based on the outdated paleoart that one would find in the 1950’s/60’s fiction - i.e. when dinosaurs were viewed as trail dragging lizards instead of strange birds.  You can learn more about retrosaurs here (https://horrorflora.com/2016/11/15/atom-kaiju-file-bonus-a-guide-to-retrosaurs/).

Kaiju appear on every continent in ATOM, but certain areas tend to be dominated by different types.

North America is mainly besieged by retrosaur kaiju and giant arthropods.

East Asia is technically also mainly plagued by retrosaurs and big arthropods, though they tend to look more fantastical and mythic - and, often, oddly well suited to being portrayed by a person wearing a monster suit.

Russia is beset by prehistoric monsters that seem to come from the Cenozoic, particularly the Ice Age.

Western Europe is plagued by creatures that vaguely resemble creatures from myth, if they were also prehistoric.  Dragon-y lizards, fiery birds, etc.

Towards the mid-way point of ATOM’s timeline, earth is invaded by a coalition of aliens from different solar systems called the Beyonder Alliance, and as a result a bunch of alien monsters can be found on earth.

Mars and Venus both host (or hosted in Mars’s case) animal life.  The surviving Martians colonized Venus, and sent some of their kaiju guardians to earth to help us fend off the Beyonders (who are responsible for the destruction of Mars’s ecosystem).  Martian and Venusian kaiju have specific anatomical quirks, which you can see by looking at these kaiju files:

Venusians:

https://horrorflora.com/2017/01/03/atom-kaiju-file-29-karamtor/

Martians:

https://horrorflora.com/2017/01/17/atom-kaiju-file-39-kemlasulla/

https://horrorflora.com/2017/01/17/atom-kaiju-file-40-podritak/

https://horrorflora.com/2017/01/17/atom-kaiju-file-41-sombarvot/

https://horrorflora.com/2017/01/17/atom-kaiju-file-38-ullawdra/

Giant robots exist in ATOM, but are big, bulky, and incredibly expensive.  Fancy beam weapons also exist, but are similarly clunky - there are no sleek, elegant machines in ATOM.

Since the fiction ATOM takes inspiration from was made at a time when interplanetary travel was only just beginning to be possible, its scope is significantly smaller than modern sci-fi.  Alternate universes/dimensions were pretty uncommon because the idea of alien planets still held a lot of wonder to it.  So, as a general rule, don’t try to go farther than the one galaxy.

ATOM is a setting for stories that are focused on humanity learning to coexist with monsters, rather than humanity destroying them.  A certain level of sympathy is put into almost every creature of its canon, even the ones that are meant to be villains.

REFERENCE MATERIAL

Here is a playlist of 1950′s monster movie trailers.  

Here is some reference material from various monster comics of the 50′s and 60′s. 

Good movies to track down to understand ATOM’s inspiration and tone include Ghidorah the 3 Headed Monster, Son of Godzilla, Destroy All Monsters, Them!, The Black Scorpion, 20 Million Miles to Earth, Gamera, The Giant Claw, and The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra.

And here’s the intro cutscenes for all the different giant monsters in the PS2 videogame War of the Monsters.

#The Atomic Time of Monsters #The ATOM Create a Kaiju Contest 3D

[roigada]

I made 100 pitches for a sixth installment of the hoodwinked franchise

hoodwinked 6 should be the characters acting out goat story like its a shitty school play

hoodwinked 6 should be the plot of chipwrecked

hoodwinked 6 should have the plot of an indian soap opera

hoodwinked 6 should be highly s*xual and detail the wolf and the grandmother's relationship

hoodwinked 6 should be about italian sea monsters

hoodwinked 6 should have emojis

hoodwinked 6 should be about Red transitioning to a boy and the hardships of it

hoodwinked 6 should be about Rumplestiltskin taking away gay rights

hoodwinked 6 should have the same plot as Ralph Breaks the Internet

hoodwinked 6 should be about the complications of time travel

hoodwinked 6 should be a spiritual successor to the godfather

hoodwinked 6 should be set in Rainfurrest 2016

hoodwinked 6 should be about the benefits of a religion that mortals cannot understand

hoodwinked 6 should be a psychological horror film

hoodwinked 6 should be hoodwinked 5

hoodwinked 6 should be interactive like Bandersnatch

hoodwinked 6 should be about the characters going to pride

hoodwinked 6 should take place in the fallout universe

hoodwinked 6 should be a sequel to portal

hoodwinked 6 should be about the grandmother tragically dying and how it affects the principal cast

hoodwinked 6 should be animated like Who Framed Roger Rabbit

hoodwinked 6 should take place in space

hoodwinked 6 should be about Red committing a federal crime

hoodwinked 6 should take place in Freddy Fazbear's Pizza

hoodwinked 6 should be about the squirrel character trying to get famous on tiktok

hoodwinked 6 should be a crossover with the Lion King

hoodwinked 6 should be a bimonthly curated box of snacks

hoodwinked 6 should be sponsored by Edible Arrangements

hoodwinked 6 should take place in a dystopian future

hoodwinked 6 should be like a Brave New World

hoodwinked 6 should be found footage

hoodwinked 6 should be like Unfriended

hoodwinked 6 should be a slice of life anime series on crunchyroll

hoodwinked 6 should be about SCPS

hoodwinked 6 should be a psychological metanarrative

hoodwinked 6 should be a visual novel

hoodwinked 6 should be about the Russian Sleep Experiments

hoodwinked 6 should be a prequel to the Fast and the Furious

hoodwinked 6 should be a romcom starring Adam Sandler

hoodwinked 6 should be a children's puppet show

hoodwinked 6 should be a distant childhood memory in a select group of people's minds that when asked about to their parents, it is revealed that the children were sitting in front of a television playing only static

hoodwinked 6 should have dating options

hoodwinked 6 should be a musical performed on ice

hoodwinked 6 should be a musical inspired by Romeo and Juliet and it should also be in a high school

hoodwinked 6 should have the same ending as Hamlet

hoodwinked 6 should have the same plot as Mamma Mia!

hoodwinked 6 should be a point and click adventure game from the 90s

hoodwinked 6 should be a comic book series

hoodwinked 6 should take place during the black death

hoodwinked 6 should be a modern retelling of the popular story Little Red Riding Hood that is structured like a police alibi

hoodwinked 6 should be about gang violence

hoodwinked 6 should have Markiplier in it

hoodwinked 6 should be a christmas film

hoodwinked 6 should have heavy religious themes

hoodwinked 6 should never end

hoodwinked 6 should replace all the voice actors with the kid that did the fortnite song

hoodwinked 6 should be a sequel to Mike and Melissa

hoodwinked 6 should be a combination of Pokemon and Dungeons and Dragons

hoodwinked 6 should be in the sonic universe

hoodwinked 6 should be a silly little concept posted to tumblr that spirals out of control after someone starts a Kickstarter to make it real

hoodwinked 6 should have a harem in it

hoodwinked 6 should have the same plot as Resident Evil Village

hoodwinked 6 should be about finding Red's biological father

hoodwinked 6 should have Pumpkin Rabbit do a cameo in it

hoodwinked 6 should be made specifically for my friend Veronica

hoodwinked 6 should have the same soundtrack as Undertale

hoodwinked 6 should take place in the Elder Scrolls universe

hoodwinked 6 should be about wizards

hoodwinked 6 should have epic sword fights

hoodwinked 6 should be a retelling of king arthur and the knights of the round table

hoodwinked 6 should be about family values

hoodwinked 6 should have voice commands

hoodwinked 6 should be a sequel to Pokepark

hoodwinked 6 should be half life but the ai becomes self aware

hoodwinked 6 should have a scene where the characters dance to gangnam style

hoodwinked 6 should have annoying orange in it

every copy of hoodwinked 6 should be personalized

hoodwinked 6 should be cursed

hoodwinked 6 should cause the death of everyone who watches it

hoodwinked 6 should be about a girl and her beloved horse

hoodwinked 6 should have Kpop in it

hoodwinked 6 should reference Pewdiepie

hoodwinked 6 should be a minecraft machinima

hoodwinked 6 should be about fighting aliens

hoodwinked 6 should be about falling in love with aliens

hoodwinked 6 should be about escaping prison

hoodwinked 6 should be inspired by Bladerunner

hoodwinked 6 should have been a dream all this time

hoodwinked 6 should have multiple different endings

hoodwinked 6 should be a prequel to hoodwinked

hoodwinked 6 should be about two college friends starting a restaurant with the shared idea of animatronic performers and it documents their wacky hijinks

hoodwinked 6 should be about liminal spaces

hoodwinked 6 should be about why my shoulder hurts

hoodwinked 6 should have strong pro life themes

hoodwinked 6 should be about why all cops are bastards

hoodwinked 6 should be the story of a man named Stanley

hoodwinked 6 should be about gender identity

hoodwinked 6 should be inspired by SAW

hoodwinked 6 should have the McElroy brothers in it

hoodwinked 6 should be starring Tommy Wiseau

#this took me 3 hours #also the pro life one is a JOKE i believe in a woman's right to choose #hoodwinked #thanks to my friend wynn for making five of these

[biteghost]

How do you come up with so many cool characters?? All of your OCs seem so vibrant and fleshed out. Do you have a specific process for developing them, or do they just kinda come to you mostly formed? I find I struggle with building a compelling OCs for D&D games & would love to hear your thoughts on character development.

(This answer got long, sorry.) This is a super nice sentiment, I’m happy you think my characters are all cool and unique!!

As far as process goes, uh, it depends on the character? I’ve spent a long time (years) rewiring my brain when it comes to what I think about when creating OCs. They don’t usually come to me fully formed - I get an idea in my head about a concept, and then over like a week or even months of fiddling I end up with a character for that concept.

A lot of the time my characters are simply people I wanted to see more of in media as a kid! Mostly, female characters I actually relate to or are as nuanced and messy as their male cast members, haha... (It was a trip when I realized in high school that I didn’t hate female characters - it was actually that none of them were written as well as the cool boys in the anime series I liked, haha! Be the change you want to see in the world, basically.)

Inspiration for characters (and stories for them to be part of) come from a lot of places. An easy piece of advice is to make an effort to intake media you like! Read new comics, watch new movies and television shows, read books, play video games, listen to music and obsessively memorize the lyrics - hell, obsessively learn everything there is to know about black holes or public domain characters (that’s what I did, lol...)!

(Note: ’New’ meaning new to YOU - you don’t need to only be partaking of media that’s created in 2021 - you can find a lot to love in media that was created before your time, or for generations before you!)

I must reiterate: intake new media that you ENJOY! You don’t have to like all the same things as everyone else, you don’t have to be invested in the same shows and podcasts as your friends. Varied interests and taste is part of what makes us all unique! Increasing your pool of inspiration will help you come up with interesting ideas, and help you find YOUR voice. Your particular interests and the niche things that speak to you will help you figure out what kind of characters and what kind of stories you like to create! But the process doesn’t end at just intaking media... When you find the stuff that brings you joy, analyze what exactly it is about that thing that speaks to you... Put it into words. Explain it to a friend. Make it tangible, analyze the feelings and why the series made you feel that way... and then take it and shove it into your own stories, lol!

Engage critically and thoughtfully with work you like, with characters you like, and it will help you have the language and thought process to recreate it in your own work!

My creative process is like an exquisite corpse of all the characters and series I’ve liked over my lifetime. I mesh them all together in a grim blender and what comes out is a shake in the vague shape as an OC, lol

BUT... it seems like you’re asking more specifically about making characters for tabletop roleplaying games like D&D? And THAT is a different process for me than making OCs for my comics or original story ideas!

I don’t usually join a tabletop game with a fully fleshed out character, actually?? I don’t spend a long time on their backstory, and I usually figure it out like halfway through the story, or through collaboration with my game master!

My TTRPG characters are usually whatever I think would be most interesting in the given game setting or set-up and... usually they exist in opposition to whatever the core concept of the game is. So, the examples I have from games I’ve played are:

In Cardians: West (World of Darkness: Hunter the Vigil): we played in a modern-day urban fantasy setting, where players were recruited into a supernatural Hunter group that was also a criminal organization that Did Crimes and Broke The Law in the name of keeping peace and protecting humanity from the supernatural creatures that go bump in the night. I played Andrew, a Lawful Good Police Detective, because I thought playing a character who would need to grow past his original ideals of ‘Right and Wrong’ in the name of the greater good would be interesting! (And it was!)

In SINNING ADVENTURE (WoD: Geist: The Sin-Eaters) we payed in a modern-day urban fantasy setting with the premise that the players all Died and were brought back to life by forming a pact with a powerful spirit (and getting cool ghost powers in the process!) I played Cassius, a character who could not cope with his death, and thus refused to use his new powers because they were evidence that he was no longer strictly human. It caused conflict in the group and world, but I thought it would be interesting! (And it was! Cassius was a Bitch.)

In Rex Machina (Dungeons and Dragons 5E), I wanted to play an Aarakocra, but was having a hard time deciding on a class or backstory... until I found out that in the ‘canon’ of D&D Aarakocra only live to be like, mid 20s???? Their lifespans are insanely short compared to other playable races!! And I thought that was stupid, so I decided to make MY Aarakocra, Izzy, a warlock that’s looking for ways to extend his own stupidly short life. His pact essentially granted that to him, giving him extra time to find a way to achieve True Immortality. His conflict challenges what’s ‘true’ living in this world, and his extended life is in direct conflict with a lot of forces in the world we play in, and while it is very stressful I think it’s really interesting to play!

In Lamplighting (Monster of the Week), my character Aicen is an assassin who made a deal with a demon and gained supernatural perks out of it... except I decided that she doesn’t WANT to be in this deal. She is actively trying to undo it because it wasn’t her deal - she inherited it from a CEO that she killed during an unrelated job. (Aicen is probably my character I’ve put the most backstory into, and that’s just because at character creation in MOTW you are given a lot of questions about who your character is and why they’re where they are!)

In Hand of Adam (WoD: HtV), the concept was that all players were going to join a post-apocalyptic supernatural-hating cult. I played Shouter, who was a self-preserving pacifist coward who also turned out to be a fae (which the cult would have killed him over). It was stressful but very fun. I love Shouter. He ran away from fights and didn’t actually kill anyone until the last episode where they fought God (whom he killed, lol).

NOW. THESE ARE ALL JUST EXAMPLES OF HOW *I* LIKE TO PLAY CHARACTERS!! For me personally, I enjoy playing a character who has built-in conflict either with the world, the story, or the other players. I’m only able to play characters like this because my friend group are all really cool and we all know that conflict is not bad - it’s fiction and we’re just roleplaying! If I didn’t trust my GMs and fellow players as much as I do, I probably wouldn’t have felt comfortable enough playing some of these concepts.

I don’t think you need to know every little thing about a tabletop character, and in fact, not knowing some things and leaving it up to the GM and story to flesh out is an easy way to help you get more invested in both your character AND the story your GM is telling! Tabletops are a collaborative storytelling experience, so if you’ve already plotted out your character’s whole story, there won’t be much participation from other players or your GM. Figure out what your character wants, and let your roleplaying and GM slowly put all the other pieces in place over the course of your campaign!

But the TL:DR about how I make tabletop OCs is that I just... try to give them a goal, an ideal, or a personality that is in direct conflict with some aspect of the game we’re playing. I don’t want the character to be undermining the whole game, because that’s really crappy to do to your GM, but I have to have something for my character to grow through or change. I like giving them built-in character arc starters, lol. I haven’t played a game where my character has gotten along with every other player character and NPC over the entire campaign since my very FIRST game, lol!

Also, if you’re having trouble, why not ask your GM what they think? Again, tabletops are collaborative! Don’t be afraid to talk ideas out with your GM for your character.

A final note about playing in specifically oneshot games (i.e. games that are not long campaigns but are meant to be played in one or two sittings). Personally, I always just retrofit an OC I already have to play in oneshots! When I make a new character for a long campaign, it usually takes me two or three sessions to find their voice and figure out how to roleplay them. If the game you’re playing is only one session, I find it easier to jump right in and get the most out of your character and the game when you’re playing a character you already know pretty well! I’ve played characters from my webcomic quite a few times, and it’s always a lot more fun for me than figuring out a new character on the fly!

SO UH, IN CONCLUSION... sorry if this is mad unhelpfu!! My personal processes are unique to me! but that's the point - no one person will have the exact answer that works for you! You have to keep trying until you figure it out for yourself! Good luck! Keep creating! <3

#long post #asktime #not art #art talk #writing talk #tabletop talk #gif #iwishihadhorns

[crackinglamb]

Hi! I hope it isn’t too much trouble, but I’d like to ask how or why you decided to write Twist? And then also how and why you decided to write Wicked Games a little bit after. Did you wanna explore different relationships with characters when having a different personality in your ‘Modern Girl’ or different goals, because Carly talked Solas down and guided him into a different path, while Imogen seems to want him to go through with his plans with her help and a large dose of “what the heck is the canon timeline?” I love both of the stories, I might reread them again to help with the Modern Girl in Thedas withdrawals.

I ask because I’ve been reading “Modern Girl/Person in Thedas” stories and really wanna try my hand at them, I just feel like I am only writing it for little one shot type interactions between characters, and don’t really know why I’d actually have a “Modern Girl” be sent to Thedas, how and why, and what they would do, If your willing to give insight I’d love to hear it. I just hope I’m not a bother.

Oh no, you're not a bother at all! Thank you so much for this ask!! I love to talk about how I fell down this rabbit hole! I hope you're ready for a dissertation, because this got really long. 💕💕💕

I came to Dragon Age backwards. I didn't know anything about the series other than a lot of people liked it and had very strong opinions about it. Then a fellow writer began to write a Varric/Hawke story and I read it because I wanted to support her return to posting.

And I fell in love with a world I'd never seen.

I realized that, due to its age, I actually did know more about the games than I thought I did. I knew the ending already, and who this bald dude was that had the fandom so divided. A classic villain, right? Wrong. Some people think he's just terrible and some people defend him to the death. Some people think he's terrible but don't let that stop them from defending him to the death. So what was the real deal?

I did some research (because at that point I was writing my own Varric/Hawke fic and I'll still die on that ship hill. Anyways...moving on). I discovered that everything I thought I knew about Solas was skewed by fandom interpretation. Which is valid. I mean, all our opinions end up that way when it comes to fandom, right? All interpretation is subjective. But the fact remains that Solas interprets the world around him through the eyes of the Inquisitor and how they treat him. And that is player based. Low approval proves his opinion that this is a world not fit to live it. High approval shows him that his decision is going to destroy something beautiful, but he still feels he needs to do it.

I got to thinking about what it would take to stop him. Through the course of watching his romance, reading a lot of meta and lore posts and listening to his companion banter, I had a headcannon emerge: Solas could only be stopped by someone who knew what he was doing from the start.

But that's not gonna happen in canon. He already allegedly killed the only person who knew. (Seriously, #saveFelassan) So who else would make him rethink it?

The answer that came to me was a person he needed, so he couldn't risk eliminating them. The Inquisitor who bears his mark. I then went a step further, and decided that someone who knew all his secrets and plans, and who could possibly help him shift them, would have to be from our world. Enter the Modern Girl in Thedas, because I love a good romance, and I wanted a happy ending to this otherwise tragic love story.

And Carly was born. A modern gamer girl, sucked through to a fictional world because the universe is vast and unknowable (and certain wisps of certain Evanuris like to nudge). I'd read a bunch of fic by the time I started writing Twist, including some self-insert types. None of them told him flat out from the beginning. So I determined that she would. She'd tell him what she knew and try to persuade him that his plans were awful and that if he wanted to claim he wasn't a monster, then he'd have to find another way.

I knew from the start that I wanted her to save the orb, because losing that is what tips the scales for Solas. Losing that means he has to find power from somewhere else and sets him on his path of death. Saving the orb meant his plans, while derailed, weren't ruined. Yes, I know in Trespasser he'll tell the Inquisitor that the world would have burned in raw chaos while he rewrote it, but considering the nature of magic and reality on Thedas, I think that's more due to human reaction than any actual destruction simply based on the lifting of the Veil. Demons are real and represent emotion. Humans look down on elves and do everything they possibly can to oppress them. Like the colonizers they are. Of course they'd react to an elven demigod rewriting the world to give his people back their strength poorly.

And then covid hit. Twist rapidly became a beacon of fluffy stability to my readers. It was an escape from the literal dumpster fire that my country was, so I was highly motivated to keep writing it. To keep it light and happy and epic in a way that felt satisfying to everyone. So that's what I did.

But...

I still hadn't played Inquisition when I started (and I still need to play the other two). I was missing so much of the nuance of the world. In the end, Twist wasn't the story I really wanted to tell. I mean, I'm proud of it, and I love it. I am deeply humbled and gratified to know how many people look at Carly with love and admiration. I love hearing how many times a reader has opened it up and binged it. That kind of feedback is the lifeblood of a writer, as I always say.

Wicked Game is the story I wanted to write. A little grittier, a little more plausible in keeping with the lore. Having Imogen be human gave her the power to call out other humans on their bigotry. And to show Solas that he's not the only one who can see how damaged the world is and want to fix it. Having her be a scientist gives me a chance to explore how magic works, and what the Veil really is after a year of immersing myself in this world. Yeeting canon so thoroughly came from thinking about the major plot points and what could be changed about them from the POV of a character who knows how this is all 'supposed' to happen...and the resultant fallout from her decisions.

Imogen can see the forest for the trees. Her outsider perspective gives her all sorts of insights on her companions and the world at large. The fact that she falls ass over teakettle for the Dread Wolf against her own better judgment is just a good trope. Having him do the same is my clapback against his racially locked romance. (Here's where I'm gonna throw out my own extra kudos to writers who also portray Solas as bisexual, because dammit, he should be. Immortal beings would not bend to any heteronormative conventions.)

Carly and Imogen have rather similar motivations behind them: they want to save the world and not lose him. They often go about it in similar ways too. I guess the biggest difference between them is that now I know what I'm doing and I have more confidence in my storytelling ability. Neither of them is a self-insert. Plenty of people do that and that's totally valid. I'm just not really a fan of it myself. These two characters are no different to me than any other OC starting out at the beginning of the game. They just have slightly more backstory than the average Inquisitor.

Now, in regards to you writing your own and feeling like all you have are oneshot ideas. Go for it. Doesn't matter if they're oneshots. A story doesn't have to be hundreds of thousands of words to be awesome or complete. Write what YOU want to read. The best reason to make a character be a certain way, like being MCIT, is because you want them to be. No other justification is necessary. The only rules in storytelling are grammar ones, and even those are iffy at best. The only courtesy if you decide to go ahead and share it is don't plagiarize and tag it properly. That's it. The sky's the limit and up for grabs. Go forth and be bold.

#ask #Lamb writes #Lamb rambles #Lamb...gives advice? #👀 #solas #modern characters in thedas #on writing #long post

[handern]

Devy this is a weird question but you're my only mutual I know who speaks French. Do you have any recommendations for french language children's books? Especially geared at like 6-10 year old readers? I'm trying to practice my language skills, but my french isn't quite good enough yet to read the book reviews. There's "adult readers", but they have a startling lack of anything at all fun in them. I want dragons and spaceships and shit, not sad people buying groceries

Oh I'm going to pull out my list of french writers books I read when I was 7/10 but I'm not sure if it's really what you're searching for?

Even when they're aimed at kids french books by french authors can have a lot of very pedantic words no one uses on a daily basis

Also keep in mind that most popular books written in english out there have probably been translated into french at some point !

Erik L'Homme :

- Le Maître des Brisants (just read book 1 and 2, the 3rd one was a mistake sorry mister Erik sir) : Steampunkish scifi, I don't remember the whole plot but it was pretty epic and I think it was about a boy coming on a spaceship for an internship? Now I need to re read it

- Le Livre des Etoiles : a young boy training to become a mage in a world that was part of ours and is still linked to ours but through a very small gate. It has celtic themes and epic fights but in a more modern way than most fantasy books

- Phaenomen : four kids in a "hospital for children with special needs" realize they have some powers while they go searching for their favorite doctor who vanished one day without a word. Kind of a modern take on changeling kids, smh it gave me a coping mechanism for ADHD and sensory overload that I still use haha

Pierre Bottero : all his series are linked somehow so here's the publication order, which is not the chronological order

- Ewilan series : a girl finds out she has the power to cross from our world to another one, and also that she's the most powerful magic user born in that world. She goes in search of her biological parents trapped somewhere in that world along with a very eclectic band of weird people. It was some of my favorite books ever.

- L'Autre : set in our world, it follows two heirs of some 7 or so families of people who can use magic, they have to learn to control their powers and I also forgot the main plot but hey the girl can turn into a panther and at some point she murders someone which was very cool of her

- Elana : following my childhood hero, Elana from the Ewilan series. It starts with her as a toddler being raised in the jungle after her parents' death (the best book) then it follows her growing up and being trained as a Marchombre (less interesting but still good) which is a thing that would take too long to explain like, they could be assassins but they're not and they could be thieves but they are not but also they're both assassins and thieves for most of them except they're not, they follow a goal way more important than just assassinations and thievery, of spiritual and physical perfection. I started practicing climbing bc of these books.

Erik L'Homme and Pierre Bottero :

- A comme Association : monsters hunting monsters (4 first books are by both of them, the rest is Erik L'Homme alone). It's pretty fun but I didn't get the end at all. But it's pretty fun yes and makes me very emotionnal bc Pierre Bottero was my favorite author and he died right after the 4th book's completion. The characters are really cool and very fun, and of course there's some monsters befriending

Serge Brussolo : each of his series has like 10000 books, I have no idea how this man writes so much but I'm pretty sure his writing rate should be illegal somehow

- the Peggy Sue series : my grandpa gave me the second book instead of the first by accident and thank goodness he did because the first book absolutely TERRIFIED ME, the rest is really kids books but the first one is horror. It tells the story of a girl who can see ghosts and they make her life miserable for it like, literally try to murder her and her family. She ends up travelling through weird places/worlds, it's pretty cool but jesus christ the first book. Warning for graphic murders, mind control and cannibalism in the first book. Some kids get almost boiled alive to be eaten in the second book but you know what? That's tame compared to the impression the first book left on me! There are sheep who eat people in the 5th book also if I recall correctly

- the Sigrid series : A girl born and raised in a weird submarine realizes that something is wrong and weird, ends up travelling through very eerie worlds where she has to learn the rules very fast to survive, it's also kind of horror-like, but less horrifying than the first Peggy Sue book. There are some spaceships, submarines, ghost boats and a lot more

Fabrice Colin : this man is a genius but also sometimes a dirty little copycat man I love him so much. He wrote a lot and not all of his books are equal in quality but when it's good it's really excellent

- Les Enfants de la Lune : set during WWII, a child who lives with his grandmother finds a letter adressed to his grandfather who died 10 years ago, he goes to the meeting to announce it to the people who wrote the letter and ends up meeting the last elves trying to leave our world before the last portal closes. It's very bittersweet and has absolutely amazing characters including a crocodile who probably ate a nazi at some point, evil pterodactyles and a mechanical kraken in the Seine. I spent 10 years hunting for a copy of this book, I would borrow it ten times a year at the local library

Eric Sanvoisin : I was absolutely obsessed w the atmosphere of his books. Horror but not scary? Kind of intriguing and creepy but in a very cosy and familiar way?

- Les buveurs d'encre : vampires but they drink books ink

- Les chasseurs d'Ombres (type in the author's name or you'll just get the Moral Instruments in the results) honestly it's been so long I don't remember much except that I harassed my parents until they bought me the book after I read it at the library. I think it has vampire-y vibes too with investigations

I also read every single book of the "Autre Mondes" collection by the Mango editor, which has really cool scifi books but there are so many it would make this list way too long so I'll just recommend "Les Abimes d'Outremer" which is about space whales being spaceships, but this collection is a goldmine if you want well wrapped together short-ish novels

#I realize that uh maybe these aren't easy reading #but I have no idea what else to offer smh #my parents were reading me the Illiad while changing my diapers #I don't think I ever had actual children books #except L'encyclopédie de l'Imaginaire #as soon as I learned how to read myself I read the first two volumes of harry potter #like literally two months after learning how to read correctly #we had a lot of comic books though! #asterix and tintin and spirou and lucky luke #joan et pirlouit and Isabelle and Mélusine were my favorites #oh wait it was 'l'imagerie' not l'encyclopédie #there was a whole series called 'l'imagerie' they were dope #l'imagerie du fantastique/du corps humain/des dragons #babbles blabbles #asks #anon

[scarlet--wiccan]

your ideal billy/teddy duo comic (plot, character designs, artists and writers involved etc)

One thing that I've always wanted to see is a comic about Billy and/or Teddy that was produced entirely by mlm creators. Vecchio, Robles and Gracia are all gay artists who've worked with the characters on recent titles, and I'm eager to see more from them. While none of these artists have ever shown the characters in a way that exactly suits my wants, they've each demonstrated a clear personal vision of who Billy and Teddy are that I can respect. I find that Vecchio and Robles, as illustrators, both articulate a gay sensibility in their designs and are able to represent a range of gay identities and expressions with not only dignity, but real love, which is frustratingly hard to come by. Oh, also, Kevin Wada covers, because duh.

Writers are a little bit more difficult for me. I love Anthony Oliviera and I know that he's got a lot of ideas for the characters, so I'd be delighted to see anything that he might pitch. Vecchio also does write, and his creator-owned series, Sereno, is an urban superhero story in a modern fantasy setting-- something he describes as Batman Beyond meets Sailor Moon. Based on that, I think he'd do a great job telling a story about a witch and shapeshifter from New York. I know that Sina doesn't work for Marvel anymore, but I've always wished he could've done Billy and Teddy in a sweet little rom-com miniseries, or even just a single issue special. He's particularly good at writing tender, funny, and just unapologetically gay characters who signal authentic elements of our culture and community without making them cheap or laughable. That is a quality which I find essential for Billy and Teddy, and it's part of why I want more mlm creators to work with them.

If you had asked me this question last year, I would have had an easier time pitching ideas for these characters. I'm eager to see what the future holds for them, but "rulers of an interplanetary nation" was never part of my vision for how Billy and Teddy would be spending their early twenties. I did have this idea for an ongoing series about their "college years", wherein Billy would be studying magic with Wanda and Agatha, and Teddy would work part time with Carol or Alpha Flight while attending community college or learning a trade, like piercing or tattoo artistry. The idea was that they'd often spend time apart, as they'd each be focusing on their own careers and having individual storylines, but they'd always come home to each other at the end of the day and lend each other support, in ways both mundane and super-heroic.

I used to imagine that they'd stay in that nice apartment Sunspot got them, which would act as sort of a crash pad/base of operations for a revolving cast of their friends. They could convert one of the rooms into a magical sanctum for Billy, and another into a study room or art studio for Teddy. Tommy, America, Kate, or whoever could crash on their sofa whenever they're in town or need to do a team-up. Wanda could help Billy ward the apartment so that he and America are the only ones who can portal in and out, but then Loki would find a way to get around the wards and cause trouble, and there'd be a whole dramatic reunion. The whole idea could easily be adapted as a Young Avengers ongoing if you widened the focus from the main couple and treated it as an ensemble piece with individually chunked plot-arcs, much like the original series.

Unfortunately, that idea no longer holds as much water as I'd like because, for one thing, they lost that apartment and never explained why-- it seems like it was passively retconned out in between New Avengers and Death's Head. More importantly, they now live in space, with Teddy being a busy ruler of an interstellar Alliance, and Billy his prince-consort.

I would still like to explore the idea of them pursuing separate goals and working in separate fields while never being truly apart. Empyre introduced a clever plot device wherein Billy is now able to sense Teddy's location and teleport to him instantly, no matter the distance, which, I assume, works in reverse as well. This feat of magic is made possible by their marriage, which binds them symbolically and draws on the power of their love. They can go anywhere and do anything on their own, and still be together again at a moments' notice, which is super romantic and also affords them more flexibility than most superhero couples. I would still pitch a series about Billy doing magic work on Earth while Teddy does diplomacy in space, and one can always warp to the other when they need backup fighting a bad guy. They could even switch back and forth between staying on Teddy's throne-ship, and getting cozy at Billy's little Manhattan apartment when they want to get away from it all.

I guess my final answer is that I want the two of them to be fully realized, individual characters whose love is illustrated through mutual support rather than, like, being glued to each other's hips. The things that I want to see Billy doing are very far removed from the things that I want to see Teddy doing. Superhero characters tend to lose momentum when you marry them off, and superhero couples tend to fizzle when you keep them apart, but Billy and Teddy's unique strength is that they're never truly apart, and their relationship never seems to lose steam-- they've been a pair from the start, and... they're a little obsessed with each other.

The Billy story that I most want to see right now is a full Maximoff team-up. It could go in one of two directions: A) a quest to uncover Natalya's history and finally vanquish the Emerald Warlock, in which they're waylaid by Doom and other magic villains from their past, while teaming up with their magical friends around the world-- basically a sequel to Scarlet Witch; or, B) a showdown with Krakoa and a resolution of their relationship with Erik, which, best case scenario, partially reverses the Axis retcon and proves once and for all that the Maximoffs are mutants. If we got a longer series, we could actually do both plots-- they learn something about Natalya which leads them back to Erik, and the two arcs become a larger story.

The Teddy story that I most want to see is a Guardians-esque space romp with political elements featuring Teddy, Xavin and Noh-Varr as, like, a sexy-alien-boys version of the Gullwings from Final Fantasy X. Does that make sense? I don't have a great grasp on the political landscape of Marvel Space so it's a little hard for me to come up with details, but I know that the status quo has been totally upended, so there are going to be different factions and movements springing up, and likely no shortage of villains and space monsters rearing their heads when the dust of the war has fully settled. Teddy's a monarch now, but he's also been set up as this Arthurian hero-king, so I think there's still room for him to go on adventures and fight his own battles with his magic sword and, maybe, a crew of loyal space knights.

Having said aaaallll of that, I would absolutely die for a full-on fantasy adventure story with Billy and Teddy. I mean, Teddy's a king with a magic sword and his husband is a super-powerful witch. It's gotta happen. I'd actually be into them having a rematch with Mother, who is a pretty adaptable villain, in that her abilities and motives will differ depending on how she's been summoned. I'd also really like them to have a chance to go up against Sequoia directly, and on more even grounds. Quoi is such a great enemy for them because they represent the same generation of Avengers babies, and, actually, Quoi's origins are directly tied to Billy's-- their respective parents had a double wedding together. Sequoia and Teddy's arcs in Empyre paralleled and contrasted each other beautifully, but the two characters had no meaningful interactions. I want to see thems as arch rivals, and maybe, begrudgingly.... friends? Plus, I love that they're both alien princes who live in sci-fi stories, but whose aesthetics and powers are pure fantasy-- Quoi's a dryad wizard and Teddy is King Arthur, if King Arthur was a gay anthropomorphic dragon.

Anyways, that's my Wiccan+Hulkling pitch. The first arc is Billy and Teddy facing off against Sequoia in a magic forest that he's grown on his new planet, only to find out that they've been set up by Mother.

In the second arc, the three of them grudgingly team up against Mother while hashing out their shared backstories and giving Quoi, who's literally never had peers to relate to, a chance to fully come to grips with the way he was conditioned and manipulated by his father. Instead of conjuring dead parents, Mother seems to be able to summon dead children, which makes her particularly dangerous around the Cotati, Kree and Skrull, who've just emerged from a war and have countless recent dead.

In the third arc, Mother has freed R'kll and they've set their sights on Earth. Billy heads out with America and Tommy to ask Loki for advice on defeating her, while Teddy brings Sequoia before the Avengers as his charge in order to ensure that Quoi receives provisional immunity.

Loki is able to provide insight on how Mother might have been summoned and what the parameters might be for breaking the spell that's tethering her to Earth-616. It turns out that Mother is essentially holding Anelle's soul hostage and has been appearing to R'kll in her form. Mother's hold, at this point, has spread to the entire Alliance, and Teddy will have to defeat her or else she'll use it to destroy Earth and decimate his nation in the process.

Teddy recruits Wanda to help face Mother down. (side note, I'm desperate to see more of their relationship as in-laws.) Wanda agrees to work with Sequoia but insists on calling Mantis and making them talk.

The final showdown is the three boys, plus Wanda and Mantis, against Mother, R'kll, and an army of dead alien soldiers. Mantis and Wanda are able to pull Anelle's soul from Mother's grasp, but this doesn't banish her-- Mother's true anchor was R'kll, who'd been carrying Anelle's ghost in her heart ever since the destruction of Tarnax.

R'kll believes that she's always acted in the best interest of her nation, and she thought that bringing back Teddy's mother would finally make him see her way. Anelle and Teddy have a tearful reunion, but he admits that the only mother he's really mourned was the woman who raised him.

Wanda, Mantis, and Anelle, as a trio of mothers united with their lost sons, are able to reverse and seal Mother's power, which was based on lost children. They are not able to banish her, however, until R'kll steps forward and sacrifices herself, believing now that the best she can do for her nation is to rid the Alliance of the curse she brought upon it.

R'kll and Anelle begin to dissipate, but R'kll's sacrifice has called forth the spirit of Mrs. Altman, who is finally granted some closure and dignity in death by getting a chance to see how far Teddy's come and the peace that he's built in her memory.

Lots of crying! I made this sad. I'm sorry.

#young avengers #teddy altman #hulkling #wiccan #billy kaplan #empyre #robintext

[talpy]

Avatar fic rec post

Hi people, this is an Avatar fic rec post for @kuruccha​ who wanted a primer. Happy Avatar renaissance to you :D

Everything under cut, because boy, there are a lot of fics. Forgive me for being repetitive in my recs, but they are all so good and amazing and *melts in a sea of feelings*

First, some authors who are so, so very good and my favourites by them (fics aren’t in any particular order, authors are in alphabetic order):

Avocadolove  (Tumblr: @awesomeavocadolove​ )

The Problem with Zuko: I love the idea that Zuko finds his way to team Avatar even without the Agni Kai and the rest. One of my favourites fics for at least 10 years.

Another Brother: Zuko was adopted by Hakoda, but he doesn’t remember his past. I really like how Iroh is portrayed in this story, very interesting!

Unchained Melody: Sokka doesn’t return with his body after being spirit-napped from Her Bai. Strangely, only Zuko can see him. I really love how everything is developed here :)

Consider Chaos: series where Zuko finds Vaatu and becomes the Chaos!Avatar. Really interesting premise, cooler effects!

Half a Heart: Zukka!soumates AU. Very interesting choices about world building and Hakoda’s character.

Haircrescendo

Carry On For You: from the series intro “Not the Pokémon AU you asked for but the one you’re getting anyway.”. I like it a lot, amazing adaptions and backstory building for Zuko. It focuses on Zuko and Sokka.

Compassion For All Our Monsters: intro “How Sokka learned to shut up and be nice, and also learn a little bit more about Zuko than he wanted to.” mandatory Sokka-finds-out-about-Zuko’s-past.

Fire Nation Yacht Club: one of the angstiest series I’ve read, I love it and I re-read it like once a month. Intro of the fist fic “Sokka knows three (3) things: 1. The caldera is on fire. 2. Ozai’s really, really dead (and so is his daughter). 3. The only one having a worse day is probably Zuko.”

What We’re Given: such an amazing series! Intro “Started out as a “What would happen if Zuko happened to rediscover sky bison while searching for the Avatar?” and turned into something more than that.” Zuko blasting Aang for not washing Appa properly will always be amazing xD

MuffinLance (Tumblr: @muffinlance​, suggest following for plot-bunnies)

Towards the Sun: Zuko doesn’t manage to escape on the Day of the Black Sun, a very angst novella-length intro ensues. I love this a lot because of the angst and how it sparkled inspiration for other stories with a similar premise.

Salvage: here it his, the original dad!koda fic. Intro “Mid-Season-One Zuko is held ransom by Chief Hakoda. Ozai's replies to the Water Tribe's demands are A+ Parenting. Hakoda is… deeply concerned, for this son that isn't his, and who might be safer among enemies than with his own father.” Lots of feelings and amazing A+ writing.

The One Where Zuko's Hair Matches Sokka's and Other Tales: fillets from tumblr, extra material, general awesomeness all around.

Miscellaneous

The Home I've Searched For by Kayasurin: I didn’t know Azula/Kuei could be that good! Really awesome story, amazing Azula.

The Festival of Four by SuperKat: Aang knows his time is coming near and he says goodbye. Very touching and moving (yes I did cry), amazing Aang voice.

Sunday in the Park with Appa by Dracze: Parks and Recreation!AU, Aang as Leslie Knope and Zuko as Ben Wyatt. I loved how the AU was adapted on the characters and on the format -blogging instead of “watching in camera”.

Like Fire and Water by Setari: Sokka and Katara find their father in Ba Sing Se with his new wife, Ursa. Very funny, especially when Sokka/Katara and Zuko/Azula realise that they are siblings.

the beginning of a new and brighter birth by aloneintherain: from the intro “In a new era of peace, Zuko works to be a very different Fire Lord than his forefathers.”. I love how Zuko tries to make changes in the Fire Nation at the start of his reign.

The Family You Choose by TunaFishChris: the platonic Gang soulmate AU I needed without knowing. I liked it a lot, especially at the end. One of my favourites!

illustrate the remnants of the life i used to live by WitchofEndor: also a platonic Gang soulmate AU but much angstier. This Zuko is simply heartbreaking.

where the stars do not take sides by WitchofEndor: intro “When Azula is nine, she becomes an only child. She hears the Fire Lord call for Zuko's life, and in the morning, her mother and brother are gone. Azula may be young, but she isn't naive. She knows what happened to them. Which makes it all the more surprising when Azula tracks the Avatar down and fights his group of peasant friends, only to find herself staring into an eerily familiar face.” as beautiful as it sounds, really amazing Azula voice.

Doe-eyed by OldeShoestrings: Azula as the big sister of Zuko. I love how Azula is fundamentally the same but how her being the old sister changes everything. I like this a lot.

How to Care for Your Local Fire Lord; A Memoir by The Palace Staff by RejectsCanon: the fire palace’s stuff joins the Zuko protection squad. I salute them.

The Sins Of Our Family by Mangaluva: amazing series inspired by Towards the Sun. Intro “Zuko didn't escape the Fire Nation on the day of the eclipse. Azula decides to invite him to her coronation, setting off a chain of events involving abuse, trauma, siblings, recovery, and rebuilding.”. Really love this portrayal of the fire siblings.

There Is No Fire Lord by OccasionalStorytelling: other fic inspired by Towards the Sun, basically Zuko remains in prison even if he is basically the Fire Lord. The plot soon becomes its own creature and I love how it develops.

Two Perspectives by Sabretoothgooselion: series about Zuko and Kuei, really lovely. As of now there are 2 fics, but apparently more are in the works. Cannot wait!

this love burns so yellow (becoming orange and in its time, exploding) by meliebee: the first year and something of Zuko reign. Amazing Zuko voice, very angst, much approved.

and love will be your teacher by Ford_Ye_Fiji: series on hiatus, AU where Azulon doesn’t die and takes Zuko away from Ozai giving him to Iroh instead. Very very nice, I love the relationship between Zuko and Iroh.

Of Dead Fire and Dragon Dreams by ChickadeeChickadoo: during the Day of the Black Sun Ozai lies to Zuko saying that Iroh is dead. Zuko redirects lightening to him and he finds himself Fire Lord. Very cool story, love Azula in here.

In the Soft Light by CSHfic, VSfic: Zukka, moon-spirit-Sokka!AU. I love this story so much! Zuko is so very an awkward turtleduck here.

How to Disappear Completely by aeoleus & the long way around by ciaconnaa: two modern Au where Zuko is Kiyi’s guardian, very very nice.

kintsugi by discordiansamba: when Zuko is banished he becomes Toph’s bodyguard. Yes it is as amazing as it sounds.

it's the illusion of separation by argentoswan: very nice Zukka!modern Au. Sokka starts working at the Jasmine Dragon, but alas, his old high school bully Zuko works there too. I love how Zuko’s past with the gaang was adapted and how the relationship between him and Sokka develops.

Finding Solace in Parking Lots by RejectsCanon: Zukka!Modern au, Sokka and Zuko find themselves in the same McDonalds’ parking lot having a breakdown. Really really lovely.

Fractures by EvieNyx: instead of being banished, Ozai imprisons Zuko far from everyone’s eyes. When Ozai and Azula are defeated he evolves from prisoner to Fire Lord in one big step. Love the characters and the cliffhangers!

Fight by Electrons: Zuko doesn’t side with Azula at Crossroads of destiny, but that doesn’t make everything much easier. Amazing word-building and lovely dive in cultural diversity. Also, ace!Zuko which is very lovely.

Dragon of the Yuyan by 00AwkwardPenguin00: intro “In which Zuko is fostered/adopted/raised/recruited by the Yuyan Archers of Pouhai Stronghold, and destiny hiccups.” very very cool story, I really like how Zuko is portrayed here.

Always trust Sokka's instincts by Thisisentertaining: whereas Jet shows Sokka an interesting Fire Nation prisoner... a Zuko-joins-the-Gaang-early-Au. Very very good :D

all my skeletons out for the taking by 136108: Azula wins the Agni Kai. It’s still on progress but for now it’s very very good and I can’t wait to read what’s happening next.

Mark Time by foil: yes, another Zukka modern au. This is very very angst, be careful with the tags’ warnings. This story keeps surprising me and I hope Zuko and Sokka will find their happy ending.

#fanfic #fanfic rec #fic rec #avatar fic rec #avatar fanfiction #Avatar The Last Airbender #zuko #sokka

[maverick-werewolf]

Modern Dragon Designs - Where they came from

Your regularly scheduled werewolf facts will return soon. For now, we provide this special, because you may not realize this, but I love dragons. There’s a reason one of my protagonists is basically obsessed with dragons.

Once upon a time, there was a movie - I don’t see anyone talk about it, I’m not even sure how many people are familiar with it...

It’s called Reign of Fire.

This movie shaped the modern Hollywoodian concept of dragons. Seriously, it did. Hear me out.

Released in 2002, Reign of Fire was a movie about - essentially - dragons as that age-old trope of “let’s take one monster and turn them into an overpopulated zombie plague so we can use them to tell a story about humans and make the monster just this brainless evil locust swarm backdrop.” This has happened to a lot of monsters by now.

But wait, these dragons aren’t like the dragons you might be used to: these dragons were completely redesigned from the ground up by the filmmaker(s) in order to make a more “realistic” and “animalistic” dragon that was acceptable by Hollywood, who generally views “dragon movies” (like so many other fantasy things...) as cheesy and silly. Market your movie as a film about dragons and you probably won’t get a deal. Well, turns out, coming up with your own gritty dragon designs worked!

Doesn’t this remind you of every other dragon you’ve seen in a movie for the last, you know, 18 years? Although it actually looks quite a bit cooler than those other ones that came after it

Please note that while I may sound sarcastic, jaded, and often maybe a bit scathing, I mean nothing against the creators of Reign of Fire or director Rob Bowman. I watched the movie in theaters when it released. I applaud Bowman for coming up with unique and interesting dragon designs, in order to have a different take on the creatures, so that they fit the story he wanted to tell, instead of doing what so many people do and completely co-opting concepts without trying to alter them to fit anything and... yeah... okay, I’m not going to talk about werewolf things in this post. Getting back on track:

What I don’t applaud is everyone ripping off Reign of Fire for their own dragons, doubly so because most of these people didn’t even take into account the reasons why it was designed that way. They should have left his dragons alone and come up with their own thing, but at least I guess Bowman can go down in history as the man who designed every Hollywood dragon for over a decade to come - with no signs of stopping - even down to the tail shape.

On Vice, you can find an article and interview with Rob Bowman, the director of Reign of Fire, discussing how he came up with this dragon design and how influential it has become. I highly recommend giving it a read.

Please note the Vice article is clearly written with the bias of someone who “can’t take dragons seriously,” so it’s also a good look at the Hollywood mindset about dragons and how much Hollywood treats fantasy in general like garbage (jerks).

It’s impossible to pretend this movie didn’t basically reshape modern dragons. Let’s get to the details...

Animalistic Design

Dragons in popular culture are generally - or at least they were generally - assumed to be powerful, intelligent creatures, often of a higher nature than humans and other mere mortals. They may be good or evil, but one can’t understate that traditional fantasy dragons are regal and majestic either way.

Reign of Fire wanted to usurp the majestic, intelligent dragon image, creating a smaller, hunched, knuckle-dragging sort of dragon that looks more like an animal - like a pteranodon. This is because the dragons in Reign of Fire are not exceptionally intelligent, noble beings that speak and hoard gold and have the wisdom of the ages. They are brutal hunters that set things on fire and eat everything smaller than them. So this design choice was a conscious one and a smart one.

The dragons in Reign of Fire are meant to be more scientific, more plausible, and also simpler, in a manner of speaking. They are not colorful, magical, ancient fantasy dragons...

Trouble is, everyone took cues from this design for their talking wise noble fantasy dragons, and it... doesn’t really work, at least if you ask me.

The dragon design in Reign of Fire looks like an ancestral throwback, an evolutionary ancestor to the intelligent, talking fantasy dragon, although they are smaller. They’re hunched, they haven’t evolved forelegs independent of their wings... you get the idea. Take a look at the “proto-drakes” in World of Warcraft versus the ordinary drakes, which have tiny dangly T-rex forelegs that haven’t fully developed yet, so they walk like the Reign of Fire dragons.

A proto-drake in World of Warcraft - also say hi to my worgen warrior

So many things taking this design for their intelligent, “higher being” dragons seems kind of... odd to me, to say the least. Unfortunately, Hollywood decided that’s the only way moviegoers can “take dragons seriously,” so here we are.

“Wyvern” - Two Legs vs Four

Municipal arms of Stjørdal, Norway

In medieval heraldry, there came to be a creature called a wyvern. Now, the etymology on the term “wyvern” is a little shaky. It originally didn’t specifically refer to a “two-legged dragon.” It is thought to mean/be derived from words meaning anything ranging from “asp” to “light javelin,” and essentially boils down to a flying serpent. It is noteworthy, of course, that the word “dragon” basically just means “serpent” too.

In heraldry, though, “wyvern” came to refer to a two-legged dragon - at least, if you ask the English, Scottish, and Irish; elsewhere in Europe, they may not be so picky. And now, in modern pop culture (such as Dungeons and Dragons), we often use it in the same sense.

Wyverns weren’t really a “thing” in folklore, just as dragons in folklore didn’t look like our modern idea of a dragon. It’s debatable whether the father of our modern concept of dragons, Fafnir (from whom Tolkien drew inspiration for Smaug), even had wings at all; he was essentially a serpent, perhaps with legs. Point is, wyverns come from heraldry, especially the specificity of two legs versus four.

So now you know why you might see a lot of people (myself included) referring to this design as a “wyvern design” for a dragon.

Dull Coloration - Grey and Brown over Red, Blue, Green...

There’s something else - something very important - that Hollywood took from Reign of Fire... the concept that dragons aren’t pretty colors and are, in fact, various hues of grey and brown, and any more contrasting colors are just vague indications instead of bright red scales.

Now, Reign of Fire obviously did this because - again - they were going for the more animalistic, natural look as opposed to the mysterious majestic magical being look. Okay, that’s fine. But then Hollywood decided that fantasy, too, has to be devoid of dragons with bright colors.

The green dragon in Game of Thrones

There are countless examples of this in modern media. Any dragon that was previously brightly colored has been dulled pretty much to an extreme. Sometimes you might catch a fleeting glimpse of them looking like a brighter shade, but it was probably just a trick of the light. Why? Because all dragons are desaturated to the point of being almost indistinguishable by color.

The golden dragon in The Witcher Netflix series

This is also why you see so many mods on the Skyrim Nexus called things like “true red dragon.”

There are plenty more examples of this - I’m sure you can see the difference when you look at those dragons and other modern film dragons over, say, something like this...

Red dragon in D&D

And now we move on to...

The Fire Breathing - Chemicals, not Magic

Bowman insisted on ditching traditional fire breathing (you don't want the audience wondering whether the dragon's mouth is being burnt up with every flame) and again looked to the animal kingdom for inspiration. The king cobra, once again, was a great starting point. It doesn't spray fire, but it can spit its venom. Even more useful was the bombardier beetle, which shoots two chemicals from its abdomen that, once mixed, create a hot, burning spray. Bowman used these real-world examples to inspire his own dragons. They don't breathe fire exactly, but rather spit chemicals from two different sacks in their mouths that, when combined, ignite. "That's anatomy. That's already been designed, so we're going to draw from there," he said.

(quoted from the Vice article linked to earlier in this post)

The Hungarian Horntail in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire - fire is streaming from two separate organs in the mouth, but they aren’t chemicals mixing together like in Reign of Fire...

The director of Reign of Fire wanted his dragons to be more natural in that they breathe fire through organic means, based on chemical reactions, instead of the usual dragon magic. But lots of people loved this “mouth flap”/”mouth organ” design with “streams” of fire coming from the mouth instead of fire flowing directly from the dragon’s throat, so now you see it pretty dang often.

Horns? Brow Ridges!

Another thing that is basically out now in dragon designs is the real horns of many traditional dragons, like Spyro, and like the dragons in Dungeons & Dragons used to have.

These days, it’s all about brow ridges and big spiny scales that aren’t separate horns, they’re just big pointed scales or piles of scales or bone ridges - and they aren’t a different color than the dragon’s scales, either, pretty often. And, in general, dragon’s horns have become much smaller and far more numerous, and more like spines/ridges, as opposed to the great, sweeping horns of classical dragons.

Firkraag, the red dragon, in the D&D video game Baldur’s Gate II, from 2000

Firkraag is a very traditional dragon. Now, while Dungeons & Dragons has generally kept more traditional dragons (yay!), they did fall into the brow ridge horn thing - although they, thankfully, didn’t make the horns smaller and subtler and more numerous little spikes, like so many other modern dragon designs. They also went with the brow ridge horns for tieflings (once humans with demon blood, then some weird thing in 4E, and now I think they’re humans with demon blood again), as opposed to the ordinary horns of the tieflings in previous editions of D&D.

Skyrim dragon head concept art

The Desolation of Smaug(’s design)

Here is... a big one. Here, we’ll talk some about the production of The Hobbit films over time, so we’re going behind the scenes.

Alright, so we all know Smaug, probably, by pop culture osmosis if nothing else. He is the quintessential dragon. He’s basically the founder of all Western dragon concepts: he’s big, he’s red, he hoards gold, he’s extremely intelligent and talks, etc. You get the picture. Every dragon that we have borrowed at least something from Smaug. And, in turn, he was inspired by Fafnir, the father of all our dragon concepts, from Norse mythology - but Tolkien took it all a step further and created the concept of dragons that we have today. Or, well, the not Reign of Fire ones. The fantasy ones.

A map drawn by Tolkien: notice the winged, four-legged Smaug over his mountain

During the first Hobbit movie, An Unexpected Journey, we see Smaug attack the Lonely Mountain...

In this clip, you can plainly see that Smaug has four legs. This was actually edited slightly for later editions of the movie, or so I’ve heard (I haven’t watched any later editions).

I can tell you for certain that when I saw the theatrical release, it was like this, too. It is apparent throughout the scene that Smaug has four legs and wings, separately. I know because I was paying very, very close attention, because I was going to be very upset if Hollywood turned Smaug into a wyvern.

Well, they did - later.

Smaug the wyvern looking like just another slightly different take on the bog-standard Hollywood dragon

Apparently, some studio exec decided that having a traditional fantasy dragon, even if this dragon happens to be frelling Smaug himself, would not be okay in this modern Hollywood world. So we ended up with a dull reddish spiney hunching knuckle-dragging wyvern with an angler mouth (I’m sorry; I really am sorry if you like the design, that’s totally fine, it’s a fine design, I am glad you enjoyed it, but Smaug shouldn’t have looked that way IMO and forgive me but I am still in pain over it) in place of a more traditional dragon that held more to things like, I dunno, how Tolkien himself drew Smaug. Smaug’s movie design flies right in the face of that and destroyed our chance to finally see a proper traditional dragon done justice on the big screen.

Tolkien’s art of Smaug - note the position of the forelegs, separate from the wings, like in the earlier map

This is all just one big example why we should be thankful that The Lord of the Rings films were all shot in one go, so no one could alter important things like the design of the fantasy genre’s father of all dragons, in the middle of production. Of course, the production on The Hobbit movies was a nightmare at best, as you can read about in assorted other articles, and Peter Jackson was very unhappy with what the studio had him do to the series. All of that is just another story, I suppose.

Dragons Redesigned by Reign of Fire: Example List

Now that we’ve gone over just a few of the talking points about Reign of Fire’s dragon designs (although I didn’t even get into the flat, spaded tail look in detail), here’s an undoubtedly incomplete list of several examples that have either entirely taken the design and/or were massively influenced by it...

(please note that not everything in this list held entirely to Reign of Fire’s design, obviously; some have the fire, some don’t; some have horns, some have head/brow ridges; but all of them are wyverns and most are darkly-colored)

Skyrim - Obvious influence with the general design, skin/scales and ridges design, as well as coloration; however, it is noteworthy that the Elder Scrolls has had dragons with no forelegs since at least 1998, in the game Redguard - though that dragon was also very brightly-colored (also of note: Peryite, while technically a Daedric prince and not a dragon, had four legs at least as far back as Daggerfall in 1996)

The Hobbit films, specifically The Desolation of Smaug onward - as mentioned before

Harry Potter movies - Wholesale. Two streams of fire from mouth flaps in Goblet of Fire, generally dull greyish and/or brownish colorations, no forelegs, short/simple horns that are mostly ridges...

Gods of Egypt - The giant fire-breathing cobras have the mouth flaps

Game of Thrones - This one’s pretty obvious too.

Disney’s Maleficent - In the new live action Disney movie(s), the dragon falls right into this design (though the fire doesn’t come from mouth flaps)

Netflix Witcher series - Villentretenmerth is very much a wyvern design and a dull shade, and he in fact has no horns at all, even though dragons weren’t portrayed this way in any previous Witcher adaptations

Stargate SG1 (season 10) - In the episode series “The Quest,” a dragon appears and... well, it looks just like all those other dragons, though the fire does come from its throat.

Beowulf (2008) - I try not to ever talk about or think about this film, but I have to just throw out there that the dragon is very much Reign of Fire, especially with that wyvern design.

Seventh Son - If you can call Malkin a dragon  - she was called one, I think - she definitely also has the same kind of dull-colored wyvern design.

Sucker Punch (movie)

Lots and lots of B-movies and direct to DVD/streaming films - Dawn of the Dragonslayer, Dragon (2006), Dragon Crusaders...

Something to note, also, is that cartoons, anime, and other non-film media is mostly - but not entirely - free from this influence. Cartoons especially are free from it, partially because they aren’t influenced by Hollywood producers who want “serious” and “realistic” dragons. Cartoons are allowed to have magical, colorful, four-legged dragons. Unfortunately, we are deprived of those in live action film and television, by and large.

There are still other exceptions - most notably things that were created before this influence, like Dragonheart and its spinoffs and sequels, which have thankfully kept their dragon designs consistent instead of erasing their forelegs.

Of course, why dragons are depicted as four-legged and winged in the first place - and when this depiction arose - is another topic entirely. I’m not going into that right now, seeing as how this post is already preposterously long.

Long story short, I was rewatching the movie Gods of Egypt and, when I saw the giant cobra monsters breathe fire, I was possessed to write this article. Because Reign of Fire’s influence is something I have always noticed ever since its release, and something my brother and I talk about a lot (and everyone who knows me has surely heard me talk about it, too) - because, frankly, it’s always bothered me. My favorite dragons are traditional dragons: four legs, bright colors, wings, horns, breathing fire, the works.

So, although the original creator of these design ideas did something cool and different because he wanted to do his own take on dragons, Hollywood decided that these design cues should be taken to dumb down all dragons forever, the same way that Hollywood has dumbed down so many monster designs so that the only acceptable ones just a bunch of near-replicas of each other, including werewolves.

I think it’s very sad that film producers think you can’t take something like dragons or werewolves seriously unless they are dull, nontraditional, and ugly. And I say ugly in the sense of these are not pretty, majestic fantasy designs - they are, many of them, intended to be ugly. Though I personally also hold the opinion that most of them are ugly regardless of if they are intended to be ugly.

So - now you know! If you haven’t seen Reign of Fire, go check it out to meet the father of modern dragon designs, from the color of their hides to the shape of their bodies, the smaller horns, and - sometimes - even their tails.

(Special thanks to everyone on my discord who helped me compile this list, as well as of course my brother and all our ranting at/with each other on this topic over many years)

If you like this post, maybe you’ll enjoy the rest of my blog, where I post a lot about folklore and all kinds of monsters (especially werewolves)!

Werewolf Facts --- Patreon

#dragons #pop culture #dragon #reign of fire #creature design #folklore #wyvern #wyverns #game of thrones #skyrim #harry potter #the desolation of smaug #the hobbit #movies #film #hollywood #long post #EXTREMELY LONG post

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh Ep 34 S4: The Boys (and Mai) are Back in Town

OK, back to the writing table! It’s been a while! So I made the mistake of like...scrolling down on the playlist when I realized...

This duel is like 6 episodes long (7 even? It’s a lot) and like...yo I have no idea if we’ll finish this season in 2020! Damn you 2020. Damn you.

But wtv, what I like about this side project of mine is that I don’t have to rush things, and I can really spend the time with each episode and just...enjoy the moment. So often I watch a whole series in like half a week and then it’s like...I don’t get to enjoy it. This series I’ve enjoyed for years now. That’s kinda neat. So...we’re gonna be slow...but lets just enjoy this weird ass anime moment together. 2020 deadlines are all fake anyway. I’m not even sure if 2020 was a real thing that happened or like...an alternate universe opening a door and letting through just so many terrible ghosts. We might never know.

Last we left off, everyone has decided to hallucinate Dartz’ terrible backstory.

Unfortunately we have NO darts in the past. Was really hoping to see at least one darts reference in this entire season, just one darts board on his wall. But alas, we will not have a Season Zero death darts match with Dartz. (Man I need to get back to Season Zero. And FMA. And a lot of things)

I feel like if I watched the original version there would have been some things different. First off...what ocean? Second off...well, we’ll get to that. There’s some things I think were changed for English TV.

Including censoring the nude people like it’s James Cameron’s Avatar.

Fun fact did you know that James Cameron’s Avatar was supposed to be ass naked and that they were supposed to have like 8 cat nipples? Yeah.

Man, that movie was a mistake. I’m so glad we all decided to collectively forget James Cameron’s Avatar.

(read more under the cut)

The actual locations of anything in Atlantis does not match up with it when it’s zoomed out. We have giant cities, we have sprawling wheat fields, and we have...THIS situation. This active volcano next to...pine trees?

I feel like they wanted it to feel vaguely Pompeii, since I know people like to put Atlantis in the Mediterranean. Maybe? Maybe that’s what they were going for here?

One of my top ten favorite Yugioh plot twists ever was finding out this episode that this snake who has no limbs somehow created these...rocks...that all of our main characters have been wearing and obsessing over this entire time.

And so this is my theory, this is the thesis of my Yugioh college paper. These rocks are turds. There’s no way these rocks aren’t turds. There’s no way this snake didn’t poop out a bunch of glowy magic stones and then stuff them into a volcano.

THE ROCKS WERE TURDS THE WHOLE TIME.

God bless, Yugioh.

Seto spends this entire episode groveling that he isn’t playing cards that will absolutely kill him. Like Mokuba, Seto isn’t happy until he’s cheating death.

(I really wish we got more super past future tech. I love that type of concept art. Instead, we just got a lot of flying boats--the same boat that I think the team flew on in S1 when they went to Seto’s video game universe.

So those boats are 10,000 years old? They existed in the 10,000 year old Pangea, huh?

Neat.)

Anyway, lets take a gander at Princess Zelda circa Ocarina of Time.

SUPER princess Zelda, and I know it’s not 1:1 but damn it feels so much like a late 90′s Princess Zelda outfit to me. Check out that PURPLE. That low poly circlet. The random ass sword. The thick ass belt. 

Also check out this super dead family.

Yo so this is a 00′s thing, a period of time where we liked to tell stories like LOST, with just a bunch of random ass plot twists in flashbacks instead of just...telling a story from start to finish. And can be a great and fun way to do it--but at the sacrifice of actually making me care about these characters while they were still alive.

Like I would have maybe cared about Chris and Ironheart dying if I had known that Dartz was killing his whole family? With...lightning strikes? But alas, these dumbasses decided NOT to tell us they were royal. It’s so strange both from a logical perspective and a storytelling perspective.

Man...missed opportunity, IMO, but I can see why they did it. The wanted the ‘Gotcha!’ I feel ambivalent about it, honestly.

And who am I kidding, people are still doing unpredictable plot twists this. It’s a way to tell a story. Is it the most impactful way? No. It’s...it’s a gotcha!

It’s at this point in the story that things start ramping up, but it’s not clear if it takes place over years or just a couple hours. People just start going a little cray and turning into Monsters.

Straight up, though--did they turn into monsters that already existed and are modern Duel Monster cards, or are the monsters from modern Duel Monsters cards actually descendants of Atlantis who were once human?

They don’t say, actually. Maybe...maybe every card was a human once. That would be a freakin weird Yugioh twist if Kuriboh was like a 45 year old dude.

PS Dartz was married...soak that in.

ROMANCE ON YUGIOH ALERT.

Love it every time. She was there for like...half a second, and Dartz was like throwing so much shade about how “only the people with evil in their hearts were turned” and it’s like...

...dude that’s your wife? OK then. I can see you guys got along real well.

Anyway, so long to the ship of IonaxDartz, you were here for even less than the amount of time that Seto dated Blue Eyes White Dragon in a hallucination, which kind of sets a new record for us.

This might be the shortest-lived ship in all of Yugioh and they have a 12 year old daughter and what I assume was a 12 year marriage for that entire time.

that is if they...HAD the concept of marriage 10,000 years ago on Atlantis Pangea island. Maybe?

I mean they might have not had the concept of dating and marriage yet because he gets over this like immediately. The show will never hover back to that time Dartz watched his own wife turn into a creature. We have no idea if he was like “OK honey lets uh...let just get you a haircut and maybe no one will notice?” We have no idea how long he was desperately trying to remain married to the beast that was no longer human and was also trying to eat everyone else in his court. We just don’t know.

Dartz just had a lot of other things to think about. He’s been King for like...a year...he’s only 21...he’s just doing a bad job at everything.

(Biden opens Pres Trumps bedroom in the White House come January and it’s juts full of glowing green evil golf balls) (OK that was my last 2020 joke I swear to you) 

Anyway, Dad is here, but it’s a little too late to really do anything with the situation. Everyone is worshiping little snake turds. What can you really do about that?

One eye golden, the other eye, the color of a glistening Leviathan turd.

After the rest of the surviving royal family was chased out of the castle, Dartz decides to just wave his hands around a lot.

I’m not entirely sure what Kings do...never really had one...but I think they’re supposed to do more than wave their hands at a crowd like the Pope. Like...everyone’s dead right? Like everyone?

Who’s he talking to?

Meanwhile, Chris and Ironheart decide to revive some monster tablets to get some real actual duel monsters to do their bidding.

So apparently some monsters are in the tablets, and other’s have just always been here...and...

They didn’t know violence but they did have the cards?

There’s a lot of vague stuff they didn’t feel like ever writing, because it would have probably been boring to write about. I guess we’ll just let our imagination fill in the rest and ignore all the inconsistencies. It’s a kid’s anime. well........kind of a kid’s anime. A lot of people have died this episode and I don’t even know how to add it to the death count.

How many people live in Atlantis? I dunno.

Are the inhabitants of Atlantis even dead, or are they just turned into Monster cards? I dunno. Clearly the Great Leviathan wasn’t awoken this first battle so...did all those souls get returned? I dunno.

Either way I’m not gonna bother the death count about it because I just do not know if they died, and since it was neither an implied death or an on screen death...I dunno.

Just feels like a bit of a translation snafu--where maybe they couldn’t kill that many people on English TV, so they were like “AND IT’S A DRAW!” but also...it could be canon to both versions. The leviathan didn’t work the first time, maybe no one died? I dunno.

In this shot, PS, Raphael just gently backs up out of this flying plane, and it looked really funny to me. I probs won’t cap it because it’s split between two other cuts, but just...they just kind of moved that sprite to the right really slowly, no animation, it was great.

Dartz decides to end the backstory hallucination, and we get introduced to a new twist--a better twist than that last one, that’s right, all our boys are cards!

Including this asshole!

Been a while since our boys have been cards! Man, I miss Bakura!

Yes, I looked back to earlier episodes this season to see what was going on with Pegasus’ new look. I think what happened is that it’s always been this shade of gray purple--but when you put purple next to it’s opposing color (which is yellow colors) it looks even MORE purple. It’s just how color works. Love color theory. mm. Good stuff. Good purple hair.

I can’t wait until Yami kills Yugi for the 3rd time in one season.

Anyway, that’s all for now, and like always, here’s a link to read these in chrono order.

#ygo #yugioh #yu-gi-oh #recap #photo recap #episode recap #yami yugi #seto kaiba #Dartz #I don't know if he has a last name or if they were invented yet #Dartz' hot wife #Yugi muto #Joey Wheeler #Mai Valentine #maxamillion pegasus #Raphael #s4 #ep 34

[jokerfan99]

My Top 10 Favorite Anime Heroes (Updated) by DarkChild316

“Guess who’s back…back again! DarkChild’s back, with 10 more friends!” LOL, sorry for that lame-ass joke, but I was listening to some Eminem earlier today. Anyway, my terrible sense of humor aside, I thought it would be a good time to give my list of “My 10 Favorite Anime Heroes” an update, figured since I did one for the villains I thought shit, might as well do one for the heroes too! Now once again, this list is strictly for the men only, if you want a list of my favorite anime queens, check out my list of “My Top 10 Favorite Anime Heroines”. But in the meantime, enjoy this updated list of my favorite anime heroes:

#10. Izuku Midoriya (My Hero Academia): One of the newest (and quite literally) entries on my list, Deku is a character who dreamed of becoming a hero in spite of being born without a Quirk or any kind of powers in a world dominated by heroes with them. Only to be chosen as successor to the greatest hero of the age, All Might. A humble yet caring fanboy at heart, if All Might represents the Golden Age of heroes, then Deku represents the future of heroes in the Modern Era. He may be a socially awkward cinnamon roll at the best of times, but don’t let that fool you into thinking that he’s not willing to stand up and do what’s right when the chips are down and the world needs a hero to stand for, no matter what form of villain is in the way! The only reason he doesn’t rank any higher on this list, is because he’s still relatively new to the scene and time will tell where he stands in the Patheon of anime legends.

#9. Inuyasha (InuYasha): He’s half dog-demon, half human: put it all together and what do you get? A sword-wielding hybrid who knows how to take care of business. Originally wanting nothing more than to become a full demon, his human heart trumped his selfish desires, leading him to fall for the modern-day schoolgirl he vowed to protect. Fighting through feudal Japan to recover fragments of the Sacred Jewel, InuYasha can be both cold and rude, yet heartfelt and compassionate. Plus, he makes us all laugh whenever we see this happen.

#8. Alucard (Hellsing): There have been a shitload of vampires in modern anime, yet all of them owe their debt to this tall, dark, well-dressed man. There has never been a vampire as delightfully sadistic as Alucard but unlike most vampires, there’s a method to his sadism that makes him truly brilliant. He isn’t truly evil, he’s just a monster who revels in destroying other monsters in any sadistic way he sees fit. And he truly revels in it, making his victims (most of which are evil Nazis and powerful demons) believe they actually have a chance by damaging them before regenerating and wrecking them in devastating fashion. This isn’t to say he’s totally heartless though, as he’s shown a great deal of fondness for the members of his team who are just as devoted to ridding the world of the evil forces that threaten it. Even though the anime version of Alucard mentions that he doesn't entirely understand humans anymore, he seems happy to work in the service of them, and to protect them from devils who aren't as honorable as he is.

#7. Kenshin Himura (Rurouni Kenshin): When I was a kid, Rurouni Kenshin was my favorite anime growing up and Kenshin was my favorite character. Having had a chance to revisit this anime recently during lockdown reminded me once again why that is, Kenshin is easily the most compelling character I had seen growing up as a kid and he was a refreshing change of pace in the samurai genre. Firstly, he was quite feminine to the point that many mistook him for a woman. He was also one of the politest characters in anime history, frequently putting others before himself and speaking to them with the utmost respect and patience. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think the guy would be better suited as a florist that a samurai. But underneath that smiling exterior hides a dark secret, Kenshin is a man haunted by the demons of his past. A former mercenary who killed countless foes, he makes a vow to never kill again, and is repeatedly tested on that vow time and time again as less virtuous people endanger the country’s peace. When Kenshin's hand is forced, he can go to incredibly dark places and fall back into the habits that made him known far and wide as the most fearsome swordsman in the land. Although Kenshin’s momentary lapses make him a complete badass and set the stage for some of the most epic sword battles ever animated, Kenshin always goes back to his sweet persona once the danger is gone. But in his solitary, quiet moments, he's gripped by his greatest fear; that one day he will permanently revert to his former self and become a manslayer once more.

#6. Spike Spiegel (Cowboy Bebop): I’ll admit, it had been a long time since I’d seen Cowboy Bebop, so naturally I had forgotten about how cool a character Spike Spiegel was. Thankfully, this pandemic has allowed me to revisit it, and I find myself being just as in awe of Spike as I was when I was kid in the 90’s, he’s that awesome a character folks! Spike was an amalgamation of influences (from Bruce Lee, to Lupin III, and a little dose of film noir), and the result was a creation greater than the sum of its parts. In a series like Cowboy Bebop, which was itself a combination of cultural influences from around the globe, Spike was the essence of the story. Voice actor Steve Blum launched his career into new heights when he gave the performance of a lifetime in the English dub of the series, giving Spike a sense of smooth, effortless cool that many argue surpassed the original Japanese version.

Spike proved to be a versatile character; he was an expert pickpocket, a gearhead who worked on his own spaceship, a clever detective, a badass fighter, and even a bit of a philosopher. But what made Spike most interesting was his past as a gangster, and a man hopelessly in love. His relationship with Julia, and the tragic end of that relationship, haunts him throughout the series and shows us what truly mattered to him all along. When Cowboy Bebop reaches its powerful conclusion, Spike goes out in a blaze of glory that is unmatched in the history of anime (all I have to say is “Bang”).

#5. Ichigo Kurosaki (Bleach): The first of the shonen “Big 3” to appear on my list, you’d think being born with the ability to see ghosts would be enough, but not for this high-school bruiser. After a fateful encounter with a Shinigami, Ichigo gains the power of a god of death, and is tasked with defending his home from the malicious spirits known as Hollows. As his seemingly endless battle stretches to other planes of existence and some truly frightening enemies, both Quincy and Hollow, this orange-haired swordsman will keep fighting to protect what matters most to him no matter what.

#4. Monkey D. Luffy (One Piece): The second member of the shonen “Big 3” to make my list, this straw-hatted rubber-man takes my vote for his carefree spirit and his big heart. With the dream of grabbing the title of Pirate King, Luffy is a man who thinks with his stomach and fists rather than his head. Always in the pursuit of adventure, this happy-go-lucky guy may be the last person you consider when you think pirate captain. But you’d be wrong: You mess with Luffy’s crew and he’ll declare war on the entire world to save them.

#3. Naruto Uzumaki (Naruto): Talk about a rough childhood. After having a powerful demon sealed inside of him, Naruto was a social outcast in the shinobi village he grew up in; even though people despised him for being the vessel for the Nine-Tailed Fox demon he did not take the darker path in life nor did it deter him from pursing his dream of becoming the village leader to gain the respect and admiration of those who once shunned him. Naruto’s growth as both a ninja and human can be seen throughout the series,  as it was this good nature of his and the will to protect everyone close to him that slowly changed the attitude of people towards him as the bonds of friendship he forges make his dream worth fighting for.

#2. Edward Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist): Wildly ambitious, wickedly smart, and wise beyond his years, Edward Elric entered the stage with a fresh, but interesting take on the modern shonen anime hero. Unlike those who came before him, he wasn’t this lovable idiot with a heart of gold. He was smart, calculating, arrogant, and shrimp sized. But most daring of all was the fact that Edward is technically handicapped, having had both an arm and a leg lost in a tragic accident fueled by love and hubris. In Edward we had a character who unlike most anime heroes was truly multidimensional. He could be comedic and pull off wild takes and sight gags. He could be placed in the most tragic circumstances and portray the deepest kind of sadness. He could be a complete badass, but he could also be the nicest guy on the planet. And most of all we saw Edward discover harsh truths about the world and learn that he didn’t know nearly as much as he thought he did.

#1. Son Goku (Dragon Ball): With the greatest respect to those like Luffy and Naruto, none of those characters would have ever been possible without this man (and the creators of One Piece and Naruto have even admitted this themselves). The prototype for shounen lead characters, Goku was somewhat of an anomaly back in his day. When the plucky, pint-sized kid Goku first appeared in Dragon Ball, the trend for male heroes was to have larger than life muscle heads (which Goku ironically turned into in his adulthood). Goku also grew up; another drastic change in a time when characters rarely changed much. But Dragon Ball Z is where Goku truly earned his fame. Goku isn’t even the most popular character in DBZ sometimes, but he is the foundation of the series. His heroism, strength, and dedication make him the perfect core for a kid’s show where the themes are meant to be pretty simple. He may not be the most complex character in anime history, but he’s perfect for the goal he was meant to accomplish. But Goku isn’t my top hero so much for his character complexity; it’s his influence that cannot be denied. He was, in many ways, a character that bucked the trends of his time and defined the direction of shonen manga/anime for decades, and that's why he's my #1 anime hero of all-time.

So that's my list, what did you guys think about it? Love it, hated it? Go on and tell me what you think and let me know who your favorite anime heroes are. See you soon!

Deviantart: https://www.deviantart.com/darkchild316

#izuku midoriya #my hero academia #inuyasha #Alucard #hellsing #kenshin himura #Rurouni Kenshin #spike spiegel #cowboy bebop #ichigo kurosaki #Bleach #monkey d. luffy #one piece #Naruto Uzumaki #naruto #edward elric #Fullmetal Alchemist #goku #dragon ball

[toxicnotebook]

This time on Toxie Yells About Books,

Okay full disclosure I read most of these books...MONTHS ago, and either right before or during a very stressful period of my life. So these are gonna be brief. Sorry!

Black Unicorn

Classic Lee: Melancholy intertwined with beauty and hope, set against a fantastic landscape and excellent world building. Cannot recommend enough, although in retrospect, not the best thing to read right before things really popped off last summer.

Golden Unicorn

A meaner sequel to Black Unicorn, it is somehow both darker and goofier than the first- in a good way! Pick it up if you liked the first.

Red Unicorn

The last of the series. It was written years after Golden Unicorn, and it shows- the tone is completely different, less turbulent and more stable. But it works! Our main character is growing up, moving on, so the softer feel of the book completely works for a story about leaving your teenage years. I think this was my favorite of the three.

Sentenced to Prism

Holy shit I loved this book. This was my first Foster novel- I’ve read plenty of his short stories- and it was amazing! It is part of a series, but it’s a spin-off where you don’t need to know anything about the previous books. Great concept, EXCELLENT world-building, and a really fun plot. There are a few moments of body horror, so maybe read a few detailed reviews before buying.

Also: 12/10 title, only Fangs for the Mammaries has it beat.

Red as Blood

Tanith Lee + modern fairy tales = yes. This might be her most well-known book, and it’s a great introduction to her if you’re curious but don’t want to commit to a novel. Naturally, I loved it.

Eyes Like Leaves

This is an early de Lint book, and unfortunately I just could not get into it. I ended up stopping early on, so I really don’t have much to say other than ‘eh’.

Creatures From Beyond

A collection of monster-themed sci-fi stories, both old and contemporary (...to the 70s publishing date, ha!). It’s fun, but does have a few dated stories. If you find it at a used book store or thrift shop, pick it up if you want something light and pulpy.

The Tropic of Serpents

I read the first book years ago and LOVED it, so I don’t really know why it took me so long to get to the sequel. Oh well! Anyways, if you like a good historical fantasy that’s based on actual history and not bullshit tropes, I highly recommend you get the Lady Trent books. Set during the 19th century’s naturalism movement, the books are the memoirs of Lady Trent, both one of the first female naturalists and first dragon naturalists.

One of the things I appreciated particularly with this series is that it doesn’t gloss over the racism & imperialism that ran rampant during the naturalist movement. This book in particular deals with many of the problems that came up during that time, and unfortunately I cannot talk about them in detail without going into hard spoilers. I did enjoy how it was handled, even if a few bits were a touch idealized. But, well, it’s a fantasy novel with dragons, not a textbook.

Mammoth Book of Comic Fantasy

Meh. A lot of poorly-aged storied. At least there was a Pratchett story to make up for some of it.

Of Ice & Shadows

The sequel to Of Fire & Stars, which I loved! I did like this book as well, but I did feel that the ending was a bit rushed. Which is a shame, considering how good the prequel was. Speaking of, I loved how the plot of Inkmistress was tied in! That was neat.

Coulthurst has stated she wants to write a sequel, and I hope she does. Frankly, Of Ice & Shadows felt more like the middle arc rather than the ending, so I hope sales were good enough to allow for one more book.

#toxie yells about books #books #reading #literature #fantasy #sci fi #short stories #ya #ya novels #novels #lgbtq books #lgbt books

[titusmoody]

It’s the end of the first quarter of 2021. Here’s a brief review of the things I watched/played/read.

Games

Donut County- pretty charming, very easy, fairly satisfying to play. I’d recommend Untitled Goose Game over this, though.

Heaven’s Vault- If you only have room in your life for one space archaeology game, play Outer Wilds instead. However, you get to translate alien writings yourself (in a simplified game way) in this one, so I’d recommend both. 

Donkey Kong Country 3 103%- so many fun level mechanics in this one. The difficulty of finding and completing everything in the game was spot-on for me.

Donkey Kong Country 2 102%- Each level mechanic in this one is explored and used in far more interesting ways than DKC3, though I honestly had more fun with 3 this time around. This one is the “dark, edgy” one aesthetically which is extremely dumb. Also, there was a lot of guesswork involved in finding some of the hidden stuff, which I didn’t enjoy.

The Room 4- I like escape room games. This one was good. It continued 3′s trend of trying to shake up the format a little, which is fine (better here than in 3, I think) but I wouldn’t have minded if all 4 stayed exactly the same, just with new puzzles.

Spider-Man: Miles Morales- Everything about it was competent. Not only was each gameplay activity fine-tuned to feel good, but the structure of the game also kept kept you experiencing a good variety of each activity. PS5 graphics are good, too. Nothing about it really got me excited to play it, it was just a good after work unwinding thing.

Cyberpunk 2077- Exactly the opposite of Spider-Man in terms of quality consistency. There are aspects of this game that are amazing, horrible, and every step in between. However, I’ve thought about it quite a bit and will probably continue to think about it for both good and bad reasons.

Yooka-Laylee and the Impossible Lair- Donkey Kong Country has better level design and controls. Well, the best levels of this were every bit as good as the best DKC levels, and maybe I’m just so familiar with DKC levels that I zone out a little during the boring bits, but had to pay attention to every moment of this game. Still, I didn’t have as much of an overall good time as the DKC games I played earlier.

Hue- Good 2D puzzle-platformer. I’m no longer surprised by these, but I still appreciate them, much in the same way as I like playing escape room games. I was under the impression for a few years that because I understood the potential of puzzle platformers, it meant I wouldn’t want to play any more of them, but that’s simply not true. I had a good time with Hue.

Shows

Gravity Falls- It’s fine. Pretty entertaining. I wish there were more low-stakes kinds of episodes, just to get more familiar with different sides of the characters. It would have made the characters and setting feel more rounded.

Cowboy Bepop- I didn’t get the hype for this show when I first watched it at 21, and now I can say that it’s simply not my kind of show. I have much more appreciation for it now than I did the first time, but it doesn’t hit me emotionally the same way that it seems to hit so many people. 

Seinfeld- It’s Seinfeld. There was precisely one episode that I had never seen before, plus confirmation that I didn’t dream the episode that’s told in backwards chunks like Memento and is set in India.

Paranoia Agent- While it was disappointing that this ended up being a more simple morality tale than every Satoshi Kon movie I’ve seen, I still enjoyed watching this a lot.

Aggretsuko- I liked the mundane, every-day storylines like a modern, more empathetic Seinfeld. Unfortunately as the show went on, there were more and more wacky situations that no one actually gets into. I might watch the upcoming season if I hear that it’s less ridiculous.

Over the Garden Wall- This was really cool and I’m glad it exists. It’s ten episodes long, which is perfect for it. I thought it was at its weakest during the more lighthearted or humorous moments--precisely the opposite of Gravity Falls. The word “classy” comes to mind to describe this show. 

Beastars- Really good when it isn’t falling into anime plot and dialog cliches. A lot of this first season is dedicated to introducing characters and the setting, which I thought was very well done. I’m curious to see what Season 2 is like.

Movies

Scott Pilgrim vs the World- It’s a fun movie to watch. It definitely makes many of the characters’ flaws seem like more fun than it probably should, but I’m more bothered by the criticism I hear that boils down to “it’s a bad movie because the characters are bad people” which I suspect is an impression you only get if you lack both empathy and media comprehension.

Big- Kinda bad. It has iconic moments that are only possible with its weird premise, but it’s just not a premise that supports an entire good movie. 

Phantom of the Opera- Way better and way worse than I remember. Has the precise right amount of horses.

Knives Out- Not really a movie I needed to watch a second time, but it sure is good.

District 9- I didn’t remember most of this movie and unfortunately I zoned out for most of this rewatch, so I still feel like I don’t know what it’s about.

From up on Poppy Hill- Not one of the top tier Ghibli movies, but still really good in a down-to-earth way that I like from Ghibli. 

Enter the Dragon- I knew to expect everything to be turned up to 11, which is good because it really is a lot. I liked it, though.

Shutter Island- I have never actually liked this kind of twist-reliant movie. I thought I would for many years, but I was always disappointed. At least now I am aware that it’s not what I’m into.

Soul- The premise is much too convoluted, but it does have an excellent moment near the end.

Onward- I liked this one a lot. Why don’t more people talk about this one? It’s definitely better than Coco, which itself was really good.

A Silent Voice- The kind of movie that reminds me that sometimes Japanese storytelling is more to my taste than Hollywood style, in that scenes can be more emotionally ambiguous. 

Tangled- Good in exactly the same way as Frozen and Moana. I can’t really complain, but this isn’t the same situation as puzzle platformers or escape rooms. In this case, I do get a little sick of being completely unsurprised. This movie was made first, so it’s only by chance that this is the one that I saw last.

Monsters University- A good movie, but it really doesn’t have to be about the same characters as Monsters Inc. 

Monty Python and the Holy Grail- Still funny

The Departed- Good if you want an enjoyable crime thriller to watch, bad if you want a Scorcese movie.

Titanic- Getting very drunk and watching this with Brittany might be the best time I had in the past three months. Maybe I won’t think too hard about why a movie about the overdue, violent death of a social order resonates with me right now.

Prince of Egypt- Impressive and grand, but I didn’t really care about the characters or story.

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan- A good but not great (by TNG standards) concept for an episode that was made extremely enjoyable by the added budget and longer runtime of a movie.

Star Trek III: The Search for Spock- Not as good, but still watchable.

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home- The kind of ridiculous concept you’d only make when you’ve already had three successful movies and are confident that you’ll be able to make at least another couple. The gang go back to the 1980s (present day to the original audience) and save the whales. It’s apparently exactly the right movie to watch if this is the third consecutive Star Trek movie you’re watching.

Mamma Mia- A lot of fun, but has weird problems that seem like they would’ve been easy to solve at the script level. Maybe if the conflicts had been introduced early on instead of dragging the whole pace of the movie down for much of the last 20 minutes, I would’ve enjoyed the whole thing.

Books

The Well of Ascension- The second book of a trilogy. Very competent. Introduces a whole lot of minor conflicts that really keep the momentum going and give the characters short-term goals that contribute to the overall plot and their arcs. 

The Hero of Ages- The final book in the same trilogy. Equally competent. I wish there had been more long-term payoffs, which is the trade-off you make by stuffing the books full of those short-term conflicts. Spoilers ahead, but not ones that I think ruin the experience of reading. It’s very odd that of three of the central characters, one dies, one becomes a god and then dies, and one becomes God. 

Check Please- About as pleasant as it gets. Full of the type of minor character that sitcoms end up running into the ground because they’re too one-note (Creed from The Office, for instance) but in a series with a pre-planned length, there’s no chance for it to get stale. Plus, I really liked both of the lead characters.

Milkman- Good book about “The Troubles” in Ireland. Very odd collection of characters, but the narrator had an extremely enjoyable voice to read. 

And Then There Were None- Classic mystery story for a reason. Feels more like a Hitchcock movie than Sherlock Holmes. I read it in one day both because the prose was easy and I wanted to know what happened next. Not much substance to it, unfortunately.

Homegoing- Extremely ambitous book where each chapter is narrated by the descendant of a previous chapter, alternating between two branches of the same family. I liked it quite a bit, though because I only finished it yesterday I don’t have much reflection done yet so my opinion has yet to solidify.

[legacy-wip]

Supplemental Worldbuilding: The City of Zorra

(Taken from A Guide to All Places of Importance by Dwarven writer Faldro Coalfield)

A Brief Description

Zorra, the capital and largest urban settlement in Ellonia, is without question the most significant city in the kingdom and perhaps even in all Valmora. Holding over one hundred thousand souls within its walls the city is as diverse as it is sizeable, and a better understanding of its features, districts, and layout will do any traveler good before visiting the city for the first time.

A good place to begin is the actual layout of the capital. Zorra is split into three primary sections, some of which are future divided into more specific districts. The smallest section, though undoubtedly the most impressive, is the Royal Quarter which contains the Palace of Dawn: the seat of power for the kingdom and the residence of Her Majesty Queen Leona. The Palace looms over the rest of the city from its elevated position on the northern most point of Zorra, and its layered walls offer a formidable defense before giving way to the beautifully designed golden and red stained glass that is synonymous with the throne. Dominating the skyline, the Royal Quarter is a sight that will leave a lasting impact on any soul that sees it.  

The second major section of Zorra is only somewhat larger than the first and sits between the Royal Quarter and the rest of the city. It is known as the Iron Band, both because it wraps around the palace, offering another layer of protection, and because the vast majority of the citizens within this area are smiths or soldiers of some kind. The Iron Band is made to be held even if the outer city falls, and from its more secure position it can still continue to conduct necessary military actions as well as continue the production of weapons and armor. It is a dirty, noisy, and hot place, but it offers a great service to the protection of the Crown should Zorra ever find itself under siege.

The last section of the city is by far the largest and most populated of the three. The Commons, as they are regularly referred to, is where the majority of souls dwell within Zorra. They are protected by a single outer wall that runs the exceptionally large perimeter of the city, and within the Commons multiple districts are defined. There are over two dozen unique districts within the city walls, some formally defined, and others only used colloquially, but each has its own purpose and function. A full breakdown of every district within the Commons would be impossible here, but a traveler should be aware of a few of the more prominent ones.

The Harbor: Easy enough to remember, the harbor runs nearly the entire length of the Commons along the eastern coast. Zorra rests in a good location for trade so it is regularly a lively place. Good deals can regularly be found here, if you’ve got the desire to barter. Be careful though, the harbor is a busy place and many a sailor will not take kindly to someone getting in their way. Mind where you step.  

The Exchange: Located in the heart of the Commons, the exchange is a massive market. Goods of nearly every variety can be found here if you learn to navigate it well enough. A visit to Zorra would be incomplete without at least visiting the exchange, if not for the goods themselves then for the experience of smelling a thousand aromas and hearing ten thousand mingling voices at once.

The Green: The largest park in the city, it is a thin but lengthy section that runs along the edge of the curtain wall between the Iron Band and the Commons. It is well maintained and offers a beautiful and calm respite from the crowded commotion of such a populated city. Young lovers or waxing romantics will enjoy the calm and quiet peace of the place, and the Oceanic Lookout on the eastern most edge of the park is a great place to watch the sun rise should a traveler be able to spare the time.

The South End or the “Sty”: Stay clear of this district near the southern wall, it is a hotbed for crime, unseemly actions, and unseemly souls. Many a disoriented traveler has gotten lost in the endlessly winding streets of Zorra and found themselves down in the Sty. The lucky ones come out broke. The unlucky ones don’t come out at all.

The Silver Quarter: If you need to be told what it is, you likely don’t belong there. The Silver Quarter is a fairly small but well maintained and protected section of the city that caters to the aristocracy and the otherwise excessively wealthy and elite. Fine dining, impressive mansions, and beautiful parks grace this section of Zorra. If you’re a count or a rather successful baron than you will find yourself quite at home here. Otherwise, mind your own business and leave this part of town alone, lest you anger some of the guard.

As mentioned previously, these are just a few of the districts one might find in Zorra, but they give you a good sense of the more major areas and functions of the city. A full explanation of this great settlement would require a ten-novel series, so this humble scribe suggests that one visit the city personally to fully experience all it has to offer.

That said, hopefully this brief explanation has provided you some small insight into the layout and workings of Ellonia’s capital. Zorra is without a doubt a city of unparalleled splendor and one surely worth a visit. What is more, the city also has an interesting history. For those interested in such things, I have provided a brief summary of what we know about its uncertain past below.

History

Zorra gets its name from the old tongue word meaning “New Dawn”. It is one of the, if not the, oldest permanent settlements on the continent of Valmora, and its early history is as muddled and confusing as any account from the Age of Monsters. That said, there are a few defining characteristics that historical scribes do agree on in relation to the founding and early development of the now great city.

The settlement was originally much smaller than its current size but much more heavily fortified. While modern Zorra may brag a series of two curtain walls before reaching the Palace of Dawn itself, early Zorra was even more formidable. Walls of heavy stone were cut from the nearby quarries at the base of Mt. Skybreaker and were set and fortified not only by skilled builders and laborers, but also augmented and strengthened by powerful users of the Arc. Constructed in a manner of layering and clever placement to force multiple pinch points and killing zones, these defenses were manned not only by a large number of archers and guards but also by defensive ballista and other similar heavy weapons. Some historians even claim that the walls were not only strengthen by the Arc, but themselves were imbued with it, allowing mages to syphon and use the Arc from the walls in case of a major siege. Such theories however still lack substantial evidence to be considered fact, but do show some signs of merit. (I should note that any attempt to take a piece of the ruined old wall is strictly forbidden and should NOT be attempted by any traveler.)  

Regardless of the specificities of the early defenses of Zorra, the outcome is unequivocally true: it was a fortress without equal. Modern day wisdom holds Ralguard to be the most formidable fortification in Ellonia, but by comparison Ralguard stands meager next to what Zorra would have been at its height. It was because of this strength that the old city became such an important settlement to begin with. This conclusion however raises a few new questions: Why was Old Zorra so heavily fortified to begin with? How did the small ironclad fortress of Old Zorra transform into the sprawling metropolis we know today? And what happened to the impressive fortifications that existed in its earlier years?

All three of these questions are innately tied to the nature of the Age of Monsters itself. As a quick summary for those unaware, the Age of Monsters is the first period in which we find evidence of a written record and, as the name clearly suggests, it seems to have been an incredibly dangerous time in which the monsters that now infrequently roam Valmora; Giants, Dragonkin, Darkbeasts, Arc Monstrosities, etc. were much more prominent and aggressive. Therefore, it stands to reason that all settlements in this early age of civilization, including Zorra, would need to be heavily protected in order to keep the beasts of the realm at bay. (For more information on the Age of Monsters reference my work in “Threats of the Old Age”)

Once the Age of Monsters ended however and the Great Dragon Tyrants pushed out the old monsters and established their complete dominion over Valmora in the next era, the Age of Tyrants, things changed. The great defenses of Zorra and settlements like it were seen at best by the Tyrants as useless relics of a bygone time, or, at worst, as a symbol of defensive defiance against the strength of their dominion. It should come as no surprise then that the defenses of Old Zorra were quickly brought to ruin by the powerful heat of Tyrdol’s breath. The once might walls now no more than a melted ruin.

In the aftermath of their destruction, the foundation for the city that we are familiar with today began to take root. First rebuilding around the melted ruins of the old walls, Zorra began to expand outward. Under the rule of the Great Tyrants, while all civilized people lived in fear of their terrifying overlords, at the very least there was no less fear of outside attack and less need for such drastic fortifications. Because of this, the city was able to grow to previously unseen levels. Over time the city has continued to grow, and defensive walls have been constructed and expanded to meet the needs of that growth.

After the fall of the Great Tyrants and the death of the legendary hero and self-proclaimed King Gaius the Great, Princess Carolina declared she was to be crowned queen in Zorra’s keep. From that day forward the Palace of Dawn has served as the Crown’s residence and Zorra has served as the kingdom’s capital.

Much is still to be learned about the origin of our capital city, and hopefully time and additional research will yield fruitful results. In the meantime however, we must satisfy ourselves with the information we do know, and take pride in the endurance of a city that has its roots in adversity and perseverance, a city whose history is almost as splendid as the settlement itself.

#Legacy #Lore #Zorra

[duhragonball]

Nanwum IV toolboxkit

I have a love/hate relationship with the word “tool”.  On the one hand, tools are awesome.    I like holding a big screwdriver and thinking about all the screws I can loosen with it.    I ordered a thing at work yesterday and I can’t wait for it to arrive.   There’s a rush of power in knowing some object will solve a bunch of problems.   Look out, screws.

On the other hand, it annoys me how people use the term “tool” in a more abstract sense, like statistical “tools” or using a flow chart to figure out what to do.    I can’t hold any of that crap, so calling it a tool feels like a bait-and-switch.   But I can appreciate the power of the term.   If you can liken a thing to a power drill, then you have my attention.   

Anyway, this weekend is for making preparations for National Novel Writing Month, which starts next Sunday, so I thought it would be useful to go over the stuff that I use to get me through it.  

1) The NaNoWriMo website.

Back in 2017, I seriously considered not even bothering with the website, because I figured it had nothing to offer.    I’m the one doing all the work, right?   But tracking progress is an effective motivator, and I like being able to see a chart that shows how well I’m doing.    There’s some bugs in it.    For some reason it doesn’t show my Camp Nano April 2018 as being complete, and when I tried to fix it, it doubled the word count instead.  

It’s also useful for where I’m at today.    Now that I’ve done this thing a few times, I can measure current performance against past years.  November 2018 was my personal best, so I’m going to use that as a model for this year.    I don’t need to beat 2018-me, but I do need to remind myself that I’ve performed this well in the past.  

2) George R. R. Martin motivational desktop wallpaper.

I started doing this as a joke, but looking at this dude sitting at his computer, not writing is a much more powerful motivator than I ever thought possible.  The idea is that if I minimize the writing window to do something else, I have to look this dude in the eye before I can look up Robocop clips on YouTube.   I’ve had months where I was struggling to meet the goal, and then I went “Oh, yeah, I forgot to change my desktop pic, and it pushes me over the finish line.   It’s like Popeye eating spinach.   

Now the Tone Police will take issue with something like this, and call it arrogant.   “How dare you put down a highly successful fantasy author just to make yourself feel confident,” they’ll say as they wag their finger.   “Don’t you care that you might be making procrastinators feel bad?”  To that I say: fuck’em.  

See, I’m a world-class procrastinator in my own right.   I have to get hyped for this stuff every year, because that’s the only way I can build up enough momentum to see it through.    Like all Sith Lords, I have to call upon all of my emotions -- fear, anger, pride, fernweh -- to fuel the creative monster.  I don’t make a dime on this, so if I can’t take some bloody satisfaction out of it then what’s the point?   

I’m pretty sure George doesn’t even know I do this, but in case he’s reading this, let me address him specifically: George, I’ve cranked out three of these Nanwums and you still haven’t finished Winds of Winter, which is well on its way to becoming the Duke Nukem Forever of modern fantasy.   I don’t know if you got soft, like Rocky in Rocky IV, or maybe you’ve lost your confidence like Rocky in Rocky III, but you have to kindle a fire under your ass, even if it’s a silly fire, like fear of dying before the book goes to print, or getting it done just to spite assholes like me.   But find something and use it.  

3) Kenny Omega vs. Sonny Kiss, AEW Dynamite 10/21/2020

This was a first-round match in a tournament for the right to challenge for the AEW World title, and it was Kenny’s big return to singles action, so I guess the idea here was to make him look strong by having him crush Sonny Kiss in under 15 seconds.   I’ve seen blowouts in wrestling before, but this one speaks to me on a different level, and I’m sorely tempted to swap out my GRRM image with this shot of in-the-zone Kenny Omega.

Because I feel this right now.    This isn’t like last year or the year before, where I got behind working on stuff in October so I wasn’t fully prepared.   I got all caught up a few weeks ago, and I have eight days to get ready.    I haven’t written a thing in weeks, and I’m itching to get back to it.    I want a big Day One total to start the month off, and seeing this match makes me want to aim even higher than 7000 words.    Can I hit 10,000 in one day?    The Cleaner sure thinks so.  Clapclap-clap clap clap.   

4) Focus Writer

You can check it out for yourself at https://gottcode.org/focuswriter/

The main selling point for Focus Writer is that it can be used for “distraction free” writing, in that it’s default setting makes it tricky to minimize the window to do other stuff.   But I turned that off a while back.    For my purposes, I just need the word counter.  

One thing I learned while editing work instead of writing from scratch is that you can just set the word count goal to 100 words.    That way, the percentage displayed at the bottom of the screen will keep track of how many words you’ve written in that session.   So if you write 1275 new words, the counter will say 1275%.  

I used to set actual goals, like 3500 words for the day or whatever, but I found myself constantly trying to calculate what 53% of that is, and that ended up being a huge distraction in itself.    So now I just stick to the 100 word “goal” and use it to track my actual progress, rather than setting lofty goals that I may not need to actually hit.   The Nano website does that for me anyway.

5) The Adventures of Dumplin

I’m essentially adapting the events of Dragon Ball Xenoverse 1 into this story, so I could break out my PS3 and play it through again to remind me of all the stuff I wanted to use from 2015, but it’s a lot easier to just watch someone else play it instead.   Team FourStar’s playthrough of the Xenoverse games is some of their best material, as far as I’m concerned, and knowing this is one of my go-to references is going to make this November pretty awesome.   

I’m not sure I could, or should, work Dumplin into my fic.  If I did, he couldn’t be the same guy who saved the day in this LP series, because I’m having Luffa do all that.   Early on, I envisioned a scene where she wakes up one morning after a night of heavy drinking and finds Dumplin in bed with her, but that seemed a little too goofy to use.    But I want you to have that mental picture anyway, so I’m writing about it here.

6) Diet Pepsi

Straight Edge, Hard Core.    Stephen King’s a wuss for using cocaine to help him write.   

#nanwum iv #i'm gonna fuck this november up proper