#I don’t identify as a man but I do like feeling masculine at times | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

johannestevans · 11 months

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I came out as trans at about fifteen or sixteen, changed my name, and I’ve lived as a man since. As a young man doing my A-Levels, going to university, and working afterwards, I was out as a man, using he/him pronouns, using my actual name —

Two pictures of me, one at age 16, the other at age 19.

To people who had no idea what a trans man looked like, it was pretty easy to give people a funny look and say, “I’m a man,” in a tone that made them suddenly flustered and nervous, because cis people feel extremely guilty about misgendering another cisgender person in a way they don’t when they know you’re trans.

I was thin, had a lower-toned but still not masculine voice, didn’t have much of a chest — I got gendered correctly automatically maybe 30 or 40% of the time, and maybe up to 50% if I employed shame in the right way, implied I was cis with a hormonal imbalance, or if people assumed I was still a teenage boy rather than an adult.

To people who did know what a trans man looked like but weren’t trans themselves, talking to them was fucking excruciating.

I remember once when I was selling house alarms and some hideous cis girl asked, “Are you transgender?” and I immediately told her, “Nope,” as she kept questioning the point. Another time, I was in the back of a taxi when a man asked if I was trans, although thankfully when I told him, “Nope, just low testosterone,” he seemed to immediately believe me and back the fuck off.

It’s one of the reasons I feel conflicted about trans visibility — it’s great for other trans people to see a variety of trans representation, but cis people knowing what trans people are is a double-edged sword, because cis people are entitled, invasive, and often just straight-up weird about gender, most of all when they think they’re being allies.

When I started working at a hotel, my immediate boss was a very abusive woman — she was petty, vindictive, and because she had poor organisational skills and frequently got flustered by her own workload, she would take this out on any staff around her, whether that was her juniors, other management, or sometimes guests.

Her being abusive in the workplace wasn’t that unusual. Now and then the managers would misgender me, and I’d correct them, and they’d brush it off as they apologised, that sort of thing.

Because this manager identified as an ally, she flipped her fucking lid.

She went off on a tirade for some ten minutes about what a great ally she is, and how much she knows about and cares about trans people, and how a lot of people wouldn’t hire a trans person, and she volunteers with local queer groups (she was at the time a mediocre DJ, and frequently DJed at a local gay club), and all this bluster.

Over one (apparently needed) correction.

All she needed to do was not misgender me — a quick “sorry” might have been nice. A ten-minute rant about how she was a saint for hiring me?

Not really necessary.

Cisgender people hate trans people — and I know some cis people reading this are immediately raising their hackles and about to go “well not ALL cis people — “ because they’re allies, and it’s important that I know that they’re a good one, actually, and they’re a real ally.

But the reason that cis people have a knee-jerk negative reaction to trans people, intersex people, and any person that they have decided is gender non-conforming, the reason they respond so punishingly to our existence or to mild misbehaviours on our parts — such as demanding respect or correcting their mistakes — is because our very existence is an interruption to their worldview, the ideologies and biases by which they live.

They should know what a man is just by looking at one, and if they get it wrong, that’s embarrassing for them — because to cisgender people the binary male-female divide is crucial to the way they respect or disrespect others, people that interrupt their thinking on it can trigger a lot of rage and upset. A trans person represents a frightening challenge — what if they accidentally treated a man with the casual disrespect that is rightfully allotted women? What if they sexually objectified a man thinking he was a woman, and it made them gay for a moment?

If they think you’re cisgender and heterosexual enough, any of these things are their fault, and they feel very bad about them.

But if you’re trans?

Well, it’s your fault for existing that way, right? You’re the one doing genders wrong — they’re not the one that made the error!

There’s a particular rage reserved for trans men, lesbians, and any other trans or GNC person that’s perceived as being “biologically female” — because society feels the greatest gender-based entitlement over these people’s bodies, in large part due to institutional misogyny, we’re perceived as gender traitors.

Cis men hate us because we’ve ruined what they perceived as a resource for them — a source of sexual gratification and aesthetic pleasure, a breeding vessel for birthing babies, not to mention a mother with all the domestic labour that comes with; cis women hate us because they perceive us as gaining all the privileges of being male, of gaming the system, and at the same time breaking what they sometimes feel is a sort of sacred trust of femininity.

In order to cope with institutional misogyny, some cis women effectively craft a further gender-based bioessentialism — if you have a uterus and are perceived as a woman by society, you’re not just physically capable of birthing a child. You must also innately have the traits of an ideal mother — you must be nurturing and lovely, you must be caring, you must have the correct emotions, you must be submissive in the right way. But also, a woman like this must be cleverer than a man, and if she effectively parents or cares for the men in her life, she just does that because she is so smart, and men are so stupid.

Again, trans people represent an interruption to that mode of thinking. If trans people are real, and we’re the genders we say we are, all of that ideology is nonsense.

If I, a trans man, can just “choose” to be a man, doesn’t that mean that every woman that experiences misogyny is just “choosing” misogynistic abuse?

The fact that as a trans man, I experience abuses that are linked to misogyny is irrelevant — that I’m at a higher risk of sexual abuse, that medical professionals dismiss my symptoms as soon as some of them realise I’m “really” a woman and cease my treatment or cease treating me with the respect due a man; that people dismiss me and dehumanise me, either because they think I’m transgender, and therefore a lesser being, or an ugly and not sexually available woman, and therefore a lesser being.

If I’m a trans man, I must experience male privilege — why else would I choose to be trans?

And if I don’t experience male privilege in every situation, because people don’t always consider me male or legitimately male, or if male privilege in any given situation I experience is actually complicated by other factors, such as race, disability, sexuality, and so on, then I must be lying.

Passing privilege isn’t the same as male privilege — passing privilege generally refers to the privileges a transgender person experiences because they reliably pass as cisgender.

I don’t think that it’s universal — “passing privilege” assumes that everyone passes in all situations, and while I would say that I pass very reliably in a lot of mine now that I’m several years on T and my second puberty has been very good to me, this doesn’t apply everywhere.

When I’m in the hospital, for example, or otherwise seeing a doctor, I get treated with even more hostility — partially because most cis doctors practice misogyny-based medicine and are more likely to dismiss women’s symptoms or generally give them worse medical care, especially male doctors treating women. In my experience, cis female doctors are more likely to punish me for being transgender than a cis male one is.

I’ve noticed multiple times going to see a doctor, being treated as a man with all my pain or symptoms being treated as a concern, and then abruptly there’s a sudden withdrawal of care and concern when the doctor either realises I’m transgender and/or realises I’m “really” a woman.

But the thing is?

I’m pretty sure that the reason I suddenly receive such aggressive negative response is because I pass so well. When cis people realise that I’m trans, they feel even angrier and more personally betrayed, because I’ve so thoroughly “tricked” them by being a man without their permission.

Me at 24, about a year on testosterone; me at 25, about two years on testosterone. Same blouse, same vest.

But in general, day-to-day life — yeah, I’m perceived as a cis man.

Notably, a cis gay man.

Regularly, other trans guys and some butches tell me that as they began to present in ways perceived as more masculine, they noticed that women in public responded to them differently.

If they were out at night and a woman was walking alone nearby, she might cross the street to be a bit further away from them; she might choose to sit elsewhere rather than be near them on a bench; a woman alone might not want to share a lift with them.

I thought this was interesting the first few times I heard it — I hear it all the time, and it still strikes me as curious, because I don’t experience the same thing at all.

I’ve never had a woman walk away from me, or be careful not to be alone with me. Frequently, women strike up conversation with me in public, they chat to me on buses the way they might with other women — a little while ago I was waiting for my boyfriend to pick me up from the airport, and a young girl of 19 or so actually came up to me to ask if she could hotspot off my phone for a second and to ask me for directions.

It’s not that women alone shouldn’t strike up conversation with men, or shouldn’t be alone with them — but just to avoid any potential discomfort or risk of being harassed, many of them understandably avoid it.

But a lot of women see me in the street or in public places, and when they perform their internal risk assessment, I don’t prompt a red flag.

Part of it is that I’m skinny and white, sure — I’m not very physically intimidating in terms of my size, and I’m not racialised in the way many Black and dark-skinned men and boys are. Sometimes, I’m using a mobility aid like a cane, and that makes a difference, too.

But as a rule, I’m pretty. I wear make-up — I often wear face stickers and have visible “tattoos”. I’m fussy about my hair, and it shows. I dress in bright prints and florals, I wear silks and satins, I wear waistcoats and high-waisted jeans, I wear block heels.

When I walk, I sashay my hips. I hold my hands in a delicate way — I gesticulate freely, and I move my fingers when I do so in an effete way. If they hear me talk, people often guess from my accent that I’m English rather than Welsh, and that I’m more educated than I am, not to mention significantly posher.

The average cishet stranger in the street absolutely sees me as a man — and they exclusively see me as a gay one. No one ever mistakes me for a straight one, and that absolutely affects the way I’m treated.

I couldn’t possibly pose a threat of sexual harassment in many women’s eyes, because I’m obviously gay, and many cis straight women feel very comfortable with — if not entitled to — gay men’s companionship, especially white gays with effete mannerisms.

When talking about gender-based privileges for trans men and mascs, we don’t tend to consider any impact that perceptions of our sexuality can have, but because of the way gay men are sorted into a different subclass of cis masculinity than straight men, there’s a noticeable impact.

Straight people sometimes roll their eyes or look amused when they think I’m being particularly dramatic or gay; occasionally straight men wolf-whistle at me or make comments about how gay I look; people strike up conversations with me about RuPaul’s Drag Race, start chattering to me about drag, because they just assume that’s the sort of thing I would be into. I get looks sometimes on the bus if I’m chatting with friends or on the phone, or sometimes if I’m just there in front of them and I look very gay.

Most of this isn’t incredibly malicious — is it homophobic? Sure, sometimes. A lot of it is just straight people trying to understand what they think is gay culture the best way they know how.

Parents with kids actually make me the most nervous — not because there’s any danger posed by the kids themselves most of the time, but because parents can be the most vicious when it comes to homophobia. They’ll accuse gay men of being paedophiles just for existing in public and seeming a bit fruity, or they’ll get nervous about how gay someone looks in case their kids ask questions about it.

And kids do find how I look interesting — all the time, I’ll be out in public, and a kid will notice that my nails are painted or that I’m wearing high heels or that they see tattoos on my face, and they’ll ask their parents about it.

It’s anxiety-inducing for any parent when their child starts acting about a stranger’s appearance where the stranger can hear them, because they get worried about the potential impoliteness — when that stranger is a faggot, some of them get angry at me, because once again, even without their knowing I’m transgender, I’m interrupting their worldview of what the correct gendered behaviours are, forcing them to think about it, forcing them to explain aberrations to their kids.

A “normal”, “real” man is straight, after all, and does straight men’s things, like dress badly and sexually harass women and get ugly haircuts. It’s confusing, if I’m out on the streets looking fuckable.

The last time I was travelling, I was sitting in a restaurant in the airport, and some boys at the next table were staring at me.

“Dad, why is that man wearing makeup?”

“I don’t know, some men wear it.”

“How come?”

“…”

It is a truth universally acknowledged that wherever a faggot goes, little boys will be asking their mildly homophobic but well-meaning and liberal parents questions about that man’s physical appearance.

A classic response, and one that I overhear often, was this man’s retort: “Why don’t you go and ask him?”

Sometimes teenagers and kids laugh at how I dress, especially if they’re in groups together — and especially, too, if there’s a bunch of us visible queers together.

One thing I’ve noticed about wearing crop-tops is that some people get het-up about how hairy I am and the hair visible on my belly, or under my arms if I’m wearing a vest — because some straight people see a white twink and want to reclassify him as being part of the woman subcategory instead of the man subcategory (based on his assumed sexual availability to men), they then apply women’s rules of physical appearance to him.

After all, if I’m wearing makeup and high heels and high-waisted jeans and a crop-top, that’s like how a woman dresses — and if I’m going to dress like a woman even though I’m obviously a man, I should be held to the standards a woman would be too. I should be hairless and odourless, like a sexy child, because “sexy child” is the ideal for an attractive woman, right?

Some cishet women also hate how I dress and instead of laughing or grumbling about it in the way that cishet men do, they wrinkle their noses and get really quite scornful about it.

Some of those women’s husbands are secretly on Grindr (I know because I have sex with them), and I believe this is the closest they get to facing their suspicions as to their husbands’ bisexuality.

A photo of me from earlier this month, age 26.

I started taking testosterone some months before the pandemic started, but experienced the bulk of my second puberty’s physical effects over the course of the following years.

Subsequently, when I went to a queer event being run after about two years on testosterone, many people there hadn’t seen me out in some time. I got a lot of looks and a lot of interest, especially from other queer men, in a way I never had before — I always got a lot of engagement and looks, but many cis gay men would take a little while to warm up to the idea of me as a man if they knew or suspected I was trans.

Maybe it’s just because I’m hotter, though, right? I’m hardly the only person to go through a glow-up on HRT, and I certainly feel more attractive.

Except that several of the older men looking at me were men I’d known casually for years — and a bunch of them came up and introduced themselves. Said hi, what’s your name, I’m x, it’s nice to meet you, are you new to the city?

Because up ’til then, they really hadn’t much looked at me in much detail. Many of these men had heard me give talks, had talked to me in queer bars, had met me at one event or another, and I just hadn’t stuck in their minds — they certainly hadn’t come up and spoken to me before, let alone with such enthusiasm.

And I do want to say, like —

None of these men would call themselves anti-trans — they’d try to use the right pronouns, they’d say that there should be trans events on, and so on. But there’s still going to be unconscious biases there — whether up ’til now they saw me as a woman (and therefore just looked past me) or saw me as trans (and therefore just looked past me), suddenly I was a fully realised human being. Maybe I was attractive and fuckable to some of them — but crucially, I was also another gay man, and therefore real and worth talking to.

And I will say that this isn’t all older gay men in my community or even like, a massive majority of them — but it was enough older gay men to be noticeable.

Even entering into new gay spaces, queer men tend to be friendlier to me than they used to, more outgoing in conversation, chattier, etc.

That’s obviously not necessarily because I’m trans — like I said, I’m also hotter than I used to be, I’m older, more educated, I dress better and more confidently, etc. There’s other factors at play, and I’m not comparing friendliness to cruelty or coldness — I’m comparing it to polite apathy, which was often mild enough that I wasn’t hugely affected by it pre-T.

Some men do treat me a little coldly, but from what I can tell it’s not usually because they suspect or know I’m trans — a lot of the time it’s actually because I’m so faggy and effeminate, or they just don’t trust that I’m gonna be cool because I’m so young.

Mixed queer spaces can be another story.

Other queer people my age have often found me intimidating — I’m a pretty outspoken person, my politics are more aggressive leftwing than many people’s, and as a autistic, I speak plainly and directly in a way that a lot of people don’t care for, or can find scary and overwhelming.

Now, though?

The response to my perceived aggression is a lot more dramatic and avoidant — because now they assume I’m a cisgender man.

People often interpret me as angry or aggressive when I’m not — I can sometimes be somewhat flat in my affect, I can be a very blunt communicator, I don’t tend to beat around the bush when it comes to my opinions. All of these are pretty standard as an autistic guy, and a lot of other people have experienced the same thing I have — the interpretation of those personality traits as aggressive or argumentative.

But it’s been interesting experiencing the negative response ramp up so much as soon as I’m perceived as “really” male, even by other transmascs, queer people, and trans men.

It can be strange at times navigating broader trans spaces as someone who doesn’t look trans in the way even other trans people expect you to, where they just assume that you’re cisgender, or that as someone who already passes and has therefore “finished” your journey as a trans person, there’s less reason for you to be in community with other trans people.

Especially when it comes to trauma like…

There is an assumption by many young queer people that cis gay people are just fine now, that homophobia doesn’t impact them in the traumatic way it did older generations, or that homophobia is no longer an active impact on people’s lives — I obviously am transgender, but to be brushed off with the assumption I haven’t experienced the same extent of bigotry or negative experience because I appear cisgender always strikes me as fucked up when of course a lot of cis men have had similar life experiences to me, or worse.

I will say that again, the negative responses are from a minority, just big enough to be noticeable, and the more people talk to me, the more they relax a little about the whole thing.

It’s still funny though, like —

I met some trans friends of a partner recently, and I came downstairs without a shirt on because I was hurriedly multitasking, and watched her do a double take at my chest.

I laughed and was like, “Did you not realise I was trans?”

And she went, “No!” and we had a giggle about it.

Most of the time meeting other queer people across the board, I’m extended care and compassion and love — it’s just weird, I think, being so aware of the gendered differences in how people speak with and apparently perceive me, and how things have and do change, especially because people assume transmasculinity means a one-way journey to Male Privilege, and all the benefits it can come with.

As with any and everything else, these matters come with nuance and layers, and nothing is as simple as A to B with no complications.

#musings #transgender #trans rights #trans man #trans mlm

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celestialscatterbrain · 5 months

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2. Personal Synastry and Composite Experiences and Observations

Do not interact if you are a minor. (18+)

Venus in 1H synastry: This one is full of compliments. You both love staring at each other, and telling the other how attractive they are. The house person can be the perfect example of what aesthetic the Venus person’s dream person would follow. The Venus person can try to embody that aesthetic more than they did before so they can show they are a good physical match for the house person. “You would look good with me.” Bonding over shared music taste(s). I think the Venus person will want to romance the house person even if that isn’t something they normally do. Venus could love how the 1H person displays their feminine side. Venus likes to ask for pictures and selfies from the house person, and can create a dynamic where you send one another photos regularly. The house person likes to look at photos from the Venus person to gush about what they look like, because they are also supremely attracted to Venus (I think Venus just has a more natural way of expressing that desire). Also as the house person who identifies as a woman, venus’ compliments and pursuit of me has made me feel more feminine than I ever have in a romantic dynamic. Even my mannerisms are coincidentally more feminine and gentle in Venus’ presence. Venus definitely increased my self esteem.

Mars in 1H synastry: I think you two could make very good gym partners together because you love each other’s bodies. Some people say this is a “s*x on the first date placement,” and I concur. You find each other sexy! You compliment each other’s physical appearance and bodies often, and very much so during the act. The Mars person is very very direct with the house person that it’s almost overwhelming or intimidating. Being the house person, I did often feel like they had just wanted me for my body or that’s what they found to be the most interesting part about me until the interaction progressed. If there aren’t other good “soft and sweet” placements in the synastry chart or in the composite, this could be a pretty annoying placement. The Mars person did admit to me that they would bring up sex or something that would irritate me just to get a reaction because they didn’t know if they stimulate me outside of those vibes. If you’re in a relationship with someone else, or show interest in other people, the Mars person can want to fight your partner so they can be the one next to you LOL. This placement also involves a lot of staring. Being touched, even regularly, by Mars turned me on more than other people ever touching me the same way even if I liked them. Mars can love to grab the house person’s face a lot during sex. Maybe for some people who are into it, Mars can want to consensually slap the house person during sex. The Mars will like to be publicly “disrespectful” about you, because they want to mark you as theirs or will for real fight for you. They can see you as someone they want to protect, or you trigger some protective instinct. They might be a lot more physically stronger than you. Sending each other pictures of your body’s changes. You both like how the other defends themselves or bond over your argumentative or aggressive sides. As the house person with the Mars person being a man, I find his masculinity so attractive it hurts. He has slowly changed my perception on what I want a man to look like 😩

Sun in 11H synastry/composite: You guys get along almost immediately. This is a low maintenance friendship, because the vibes make up for all the times you don’t see each other. You just like how the other one approaches friendship. Very open-minded. Probably met through mutual friends, and these friends probably didn’t immediately notice certain similarities you have to one another. Once they see you guys link though, they can be surprised they never noticed it before. You guys may have automatically assumed, even if flirting was involved, that this interaction would remain generally platonic more than anything. People who are not in your friend group can also notice you two becoming friends immediately, because for some reason it stood out. As the sun person, I really liked listening to the house person’s dreams. Hearing the house person speak about how they handle their interpersonal relationships made me value my boundaries more and reminded me to focus more on myself than giving too much of my energy to other people. Essentially you can help each other dismiss certain people pleasing tendencies in one another. You don’t have to try to please one another either, your authentic self is enough to give each other pleasure. A natural sense of familiarity between you two. It’s funny hearing about each other’s quirks. You are encouraged to show your eccentricities around one another. Instant bestie vibes! You can feel like evil twins together in some cases LOL

Venus in 11H synastry: Honestly, in some cases, I feel like you may have met this person because they were previously involved with a friend or ex-friend. The friend you’re attracted to, but don’t need to pursue because you also get the same joys and benefits from your friendship. Friends with benefits. Friends to lovers. You may have started dating or flirting online for a while before meeting. I think this is another sign of shared music taste and interests. As the Venus person, I first grew some sort of interest because the house person posted a video of themselves online playing guitar and I found that super attractive. Maybe the Venus person can be an online supporter or promoter of the house person’s creative outlets. Never meeting in person but having a lot of the same mutuals you both know in real life, and then meeting in person later on by yourselves, maybe in a “date” setting.

Moon in 9H synastry: Here, the house person can introduce the moon person to different religions, or likes to talk about religion with the moon person. The house person can held guide the moon person on the importance of higher education or on the acquisition of knowledge. Long distance relationship. Wanting to be together but you somehow met once you two no longer lived in the same city. The moon person can feel like the house person is one of the smartest people they have met, and can feel somewhat intimidated by the house person because of it. You two can feel really free in one another’s presence. You can talk about anything. You two can turn casual conversation into something philosophical together. Sharing your personal philosophies with one another. Having drastically different life circumstances that have shaped you, but also having some foundational similarities. The moon person might be contradictory to the house person’s beliefs, but this can just stretch curiosity. It can also make the house person analyze different gaps in their previous opinions on certain organizations or institutions. Disagreements on certain topics doesn’t seem to escalate into arguments, but rather into informed discussions. Feeling out of reach to one another. I have seen a post referencing how the moon person can feel like the house person is out of their league, and I think this can stem from, in some cases, not being intelligent or well-rounded enough to stimulate the house person long term. This can just be a feeling and not at all be the case, because the house person learns a lot more from the moon than the moon realizes. You guys can spark the other’s adventurous side. You guys maybe only get to meet while the other is vacationing in your area. The Moon person can unconsciously inspire the house person to teach others about their speciality, such as getting you into blogging about an interest you talked to them about.

Composite Virgo Mars: Having to schedule when you two can have sex (maybe it’s long distance for a period of time). Arguments aren’t aggressive, but rather a hyper-analytical discussion that can be equally as irritating. Cleaning each other after sex. Being attracted to the other person abdominal area. When you guys start taking action towards advancing your connection, you stop eating out of nervousness. Maybe your fights stem from making one another nervous rather than a real issue itself. Bickering when you’re not with one another more so than when you’re in person. Having high expectations of one another once you become intimate partners. Wanting to come off as perfect for the other. Being extremely attentive with one another and immediately responding to any shift in energy because it can make you nervous. Really wanting to know what the other person is thinking and feeling in times of silence or during sex. Different sources have made this placement out to seem “sexually repressed,” but that is not always the case. Maybe circumstances can suppress the frequency they get to go at it, but if time permitted it could be on sight all the time. Not wanting to do anything that upsets the other or makes them uncomfortable, so lots of checking in on each other during the act to see if it’s mutually enjoyable and adapt accordingly. After sex with this person you might get extremely productive in your own personal life! Their presence in your life encourages you to get your life together and not be “messy.”

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transmascissues · 8 months

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recently i’ve been embarking on the next leg of my gender exploration journey, and the hardest part of it has honestly been navigating the way people see manhood as at odds with any sort of complex gender experience.

because the thing is, i’ve seen myself as a man for years now, and that hasn’t changed! i still very much consider myself trans male, even as my understanding of my gender has continued to evolve. i’ve been exploring parts of me that feel more connected to gender neutrality and androgyny and fluidity and even womanhood than i’ve previously acknowledged, and none of those things contradict the fact that i am a man! all of those different pieces of my gender coexist perfectly well and don’t cancel out the fact that i want people to recognize me first and foremost as a trans man.

but other people don’t see it that way, and i know that. if i express any sort of relationship to those other aspects of gender — especially to womanhood — i know for a fact that people will view that as me saying i’m not “really” or fully a man. they’ll assume it means i’m just partially a man (which i’m not) or masculine but not a man (which i’m also not) or just living as a man on the outside when my “real” internal gender isn’t male (which i’m definitely not).

so even acknowledging that the more complex parts of my gender even exist at all has been an uphill battle, because i know what they mean for the way people see me if i express them. it’s already a herculean task to get people to see me as a man without that!

i recently told my boyfriend about some of these experiences i’d been exploring, and even then, i was terrified. it seems silly — if there’s any single person in the entire world who would support me no matter what, it’s my boyfriend — but it still felt like i was immediately taken back to the fear of the first time i ever came out to someone. honestly, even then, i watered down a lot of my thoughts more than i wanted to because i was afraid they could be taken as implying something about my gender that i never wanted to imply.

and i don’t want to be afraid of it! i want to be able to talk about experiences like revisiting the gender neutrality i identified with when i first came out and discovering androgyny through spirituality and seeing myself in genderfluid characters and finding new bits of gender euphoria in being seen as a woman now that i’m on t, and i want to be able to do that openly without fear that it’ll be used against me, that it’ll be seen as me giving people permission to ignore the manhood that’s still the backbone of my gender experience.

i love being trans! i love being genderqueer! i love all the gender complexity and playfulness that comes with that for me! and i was never afraid to express it before i started living as a man openly because before then, i knew that i could always count on other queer people to get it even if most people didn’t. but now, i know there are a lot of queer people who wish i would be anything other than a man, who see manhood as antithetical to gender complexity and think that’s a radical view somehow, and suddenly there are a lot less people i can count on for that support.

manhood can be neutral. manhood can be androgynous. manhood can be fluid. manhood can be womanhood. manhood can be all those things at once. manhood can be any of a vast array of other things. manhood can be fucking anything because gender in general can be fucking anything, and it really seems like a lot of people have no problem acknowledging that until it’s applied to men.

restricting manhood to nothing but the most limited, simplified, binary version of it is bad. expanding our concept of what a man can be is good. playing with gender and stretching its boundaries and showing that binarism is a lie because none of these experiences actually contradict each other is good.

it’d be great if people — especially people who pride themselves on fucking with gender and smashing the binary and all that — could realize that, because i’m really getting tired of feeling like i’m being shoved back into the closet after so many years just because y’all can’t wrap your minds around the idea that some of the people with the cool weird genders are dudes.

#transandrophobia #transandromisia #transmisandry #virilmisia #virilphobia #anti transmasculinity #transmascphobia #trans men #transmascs

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pansyfemme · 23 days

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i’m not going to claim to completely understand what it’s like to identify with any gender that isn’t my own experience as a gnc trans man. But i sometimes notice this weird disconnect where in my day to day life, i am often assumed to be nonbinary, and that’s warranted, i present in a way that makes people question my gender. I identified with being nonbinary for a while, but i eventually came to terms with the fact that despite not totally understanding gender and feeling like i will never be able to know 100% what maleness or femaleness feels like, i want my body to be more masculine, i like masculine terms and being referred to as male- so i identify with maleness more than anything else, which i suppose can be described as binary. I will refer to myself as binary often, but more so because i want to be referred to masculinily and not neutrally and its the easiest way to say that- but i generally don’t consider myself on the binary or not, i don’t believe in the concept that at least my gender experience could be described with being either binary or not. I am not treated in the world as a binary man, so i don’t tend to identify with that as a group i fall into. Gender is the internal sense of self, but my external experiences being percieved still shape it for me. The issue comes up with when some people use the fact that i am a binary person to claim i lack understanding of certain aspects of being nonbinary, despite passing as such actively and identifying with it heavily in the past. It frustrates me when people assume i do not understand the struggles of misgendering and degendering, because i experience both in my life frequently. I don’t want to say that i know it as well as someone who identifies that way, but i just want to be clear that i think that drawing a line between binary and nonbinary experiences can be a bit reductive at times, when a lot of trans people, especially gnc trans people, do share in an understanding of their gender that is also seen as atypical to the cisgender population. The way that i identify with maleness can be seen as so alien to some cisgender men that it is essentially a seperate concept. Gender is not a universal truth, we can only speculate on what it means to be something or not. I just struggle at times with the intersection of having to define myself as being on the binary or not.

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thepradapariah · 2 years

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Your Rising Sign ✨. The Male Gaze 👀. & Female Character Movie/TV Tropes 📺.

Are you the manic pixie dream girl or the femme fatale?!

Astro Observations 🪐

Using Movies & TV shows, I’ll be talking about observations I’ve made about rising signs! This is just my opinion! You are more than welcome to share your thoughts in the comment section!

(If you know your sidereal Rising Sign Naksaktra EVEN BETTER!)

Disclaimer:

BARE WITH ME HERE!!! This post is written in a VERY generalized way. I am not trying to be exclusionary at all! I want this to be a fun post about movies & astrology. Please be creative with your pronouns if needed! This post is for anyone who wants to read it, no matter your gender or preference, but it will be written in traditional cis-gender fashion, BUT!!!!! I have tried to incorporate all female identifying communities within the examples! I hope there is something for everyone :)

Before we begin:

Definitions:

✨What is the Male Gaze?

“In feminist theory, the male gaze is the act of depicting women and the world, in the visual arts and in literature, from a masculine, heterosexual perspective that presents and represents women as sexual objects for the pleasure of the heterosexual male viewer. In the visual and aesthetic presentations of narrative cinema, the male gaze has three perspectives: (i) that of the man behind the camera, (ii) that of the male characters within the film's cinematic representations; and (iii) that of the spectator gazing at the image.” — Wikipedia

✨What is a Character trope?

“A trope is an idea, pattern or motif that appears often enough in a particular art form that consumers of that art form begin to form particular associations with that idea.” - The Novel Factory

Introduction:

Men tend to be VERY simple creatures. Yes, they may present themselves as the broody artist w a checkered past or a sci-fi-nerdy-glasses-wearing-type fellow who LOVES Star Wars & Comic-Con. But believe it not, both these men have something in common…Their simplicity. Most men see life in black & white. They tend to take things at face value & rarely feel the need to dig deeper into something unless they are called to. This is not to over generalize (or perhaps that’s exactly what this is) but to draw attention to the straight forward attitude men usually have towards life. (I blame this on their primal hunter/gathering nature, but that’s another topic for another day). Men tend to prefer life & communication to be clear & concise, whereas woman tend to be far more “colorful” in our approach. We don’t spare any details when talking w our girlfriends about the latest gossip as if it’s our life’s duty, where men can sit in silence, playing video games & be perfectly content. In fact, I learned in sociology, that men can actually have ZERO brain activity happening at times (besides the automatic stuff, like breathing lol). Meaning— men can actually sit & think about nothing. Women, not so much, we are constantly stimulated, thinking & planning ahead. Because of this cosmically cerebral mis-match, the way men & woman tend to view each other can be a point of contention. Woman tend to over complicate men & men tend to over simplify woman. Thus giving us the ongoing battle of real complex female characters VS. the over simplified version of them through the Male Gaze. Do men think woman just sit around playing in make-up & fashion, bursting out into random tears & having pillow fights all day? If you ask Hollywood— probably. In this post, we will be specifically looking at how men over simplify woman using Movie/TV tropes & comparing them to the display of our rising sign, &/or if you know it, your rising Nakshatra.

You should know, that before I got into tarot & astrology, I graduated from the film school at New York University. So I am WELL AWARE of the film/tv writing process & thought this would be a cool way to combine my education of films & my love for astrology to teach & critique how woman tend to be represented in Cinema & Television— and in return, real life. (Art meets Life, amiright?)

There has been a discourse in the film & tv world about how woman are represented through the male gaze. I’m sure you’ve heard of the “manic pixie dream girl” trope over saturating the market right now. (Don’t worry, we will get into this later). Woman feel as if these are shallow representations of the feminine experience. While I agree with this statement, usually we don’t see very fleshed out, complex & interesting woman from male writers. (*cough cough* Euphoria Season 2.) I’m arguing here that until we form deep & intimate connections with men, they tend to see us, woman, as these movie tropes, IRL (in real life). If you don’t understand what I’m saying, hang in there w me.

Because men tend to be simple & take things at face value, they can miss out on the nuances of the woman they are with. How many times have we seen in movies a wife gets a haircut & the husband doesn’t notice? See, no eye for detail, or subtlety. Those small details that make us unique from other woman tends to go over their heads from time to time. And in a day in age where woman are generalized more on a mass scale through social media, it’s easy for men to get carried away thinking woman are all the same or simply, just not that complicated. This isn’t a bad thing, per say, this is just the default until we are able to build a lasting, deep connection between masculine & feminine energy.

In this post, we are going to be breaking down this “conundrum” by RISING SIGNS/1H/Nakshatras. Why? Because the rising sign is how you are seen in the world. The first house rules the body, & what people project on to you as well as what you project onto other people. (The beauty of the 1H/7H axis…more about this later) As a sidereal astrology girly, I think the first house/Rising Sign Nakshatra rules the personality more so than the sun & moon sign. After all, it is called “person”-ality, & the 1H is the house of person, whereas the 7H is the house of partner.

✨Why Does this Matter?

Well first off, it matters how much you want it to matter. This post is for inspiring self expression. By seeing how you effortlessly come across through the male gaze, you may be able to craft your own unique persona or perfect one of these tropes. I am not writing this post because you have to see yourself the way men see you or over simplify yourself while getting to know someone, I’m writing this to give you some indication of HOW men see you so you can put on a SHOW! I’m hoping this gives you the encouragement to take your narrative into your own hands & present your femininity in a way that’s true & authentic to you. I am an absolute FAN of these female tropes. Movies & tv shows have helped me curate the kind of woman I want to come across as. Nothing like seeing a great character on TV that you want to emulate. We all have the ability to play pretend. Look at using the male gaze as a game of dress-up. You can ALWAYS play the part in the ever going Hollywood Film— Your Life.

✨What is the First House?

The first house is the house of first impressions— the cover of the book men are judging.

Because your first house is home to your rising sign, to put it simply, the first house is how you come off to others at first glance. Even though I’m sure you’re a beautiful, complex & intriguing creature, for the sake of this article, we are looking at the first house through a “shallow” perspective. You may feel as if these descriptions don’t fit you at all, in fact, you may feel like this is the total opposite of who you actually are! (Blame the contradiction of 1H/7H axis for this one) However it’s not about how you feel, it’s about how you come across…

Read this article as if you are your crush meeting you for the first time. (Read that again, very meta, I know). The Male Gaze in movies/tv has been argued to be lazy & uninspired writing. I personally think that’s just the male gaze in general. I kid, I kid. Lol. But seriously…they are very simple minded, so we can use this to our advantage to give some of the best performances of our lives!

***If you are reading for your Sidereal Vedic Rising (which is HIGHLY suggest), please look up the degree, so you can read for the specific Nakshatra)

(If you are a man reading this, I don’t mean to drag you. We all know the childhood fact, Men are from Mars & Woman are from Venus. Lol.)

Through the Male Gaze, we will be breaking down how you come off through your rising sign & placements as Classic Movie & TV Character Tropes.

How to Read:

✨IF YOU KNOW YOUR SIDEREAL VEDIC RISING NAKSHATRA: Read that first! That will be the most specific to the trope. (I didn’t double dip, each nakshatra is only used ONCE)

______________

✨If you DON’T know your Sidereal Rising Nakshatra & your reading as a Western/Tropical Girlie———>

✨You can read for the sign in your first house (your rising sign) &/or planets placed in your FIRST OR SEVENTH HOUSE!

✨7H placements cast a direct aspect on your 1H, so if your rising sign doesn’t resonate, check your 7H placements! They have a major influence as well!

✨If you have multiple planets in your 1H &/or 7H, the planet with the LOWEST degree is the dominant planet. Ex: If you have Saturn at 26 degrees and Venus at 2 degrees, you would read the Venus tropes.

✨Unlike men, I’m giving you some flexibility (Lol) Your placements may overlap. For example, if you’re a Pisces Rising— read the blurbs for Manic Pixie Dream Girl & Girl Next Door. One description will probably fit better than the others, but you got options! If you know your sidereal chart for your rising Nakshatra, you’ll get

***There is NO direct correlation between the signs & Naks picked, this is a matter of opinion, so I put what I felt worked!***

Please please please keep in mind, movies & tv characters are larger than life, so please have fun with this post!!! This is over the top!! If you can imagine that you were an old Hollywood glamour queen or a modern cinema starlit, this would be your starring role!!!

⚠️ I do not want to offend ANYONE by using traditional gender pronouns. I am a cis-gender heterosexual female, so I am writing from the perspective I know best. I am NOT trying to say this is the only perspective that matters. I have included cis-woman, trans women & lesbians as examples in this post. Please feel free to share any insights you have, no matter the gender, non-gender or perspective! I’m truly open & supportive. This is not an exclusionary post.

⚠️ SPOILER ALERT!!!! I am using Movies & Television shows as examples, so be prepared!

⚠️ Of course, special shout-out to my little sister! Without her, none of this would be possible!!

On with the Show! 🌹

💋 Manic Pixie Dream Girl

Nakshatras: Ardra, Punarvasu, Swati, Vishika, Mula

Zodiac: Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, Pisces (All Mutable Rising Signs) & Aquarius

Planets: Neptune, Mercury, Jupiter (1st or 7th House, lowest degree)

Tarot Card: Princess of Cups (Earth & Water)

✨Definition

“[The Manic Pixie Dream Girl] exists solely in the fevered imaginations of sensitive writer-directors to teach broodingly soulful young men to embrace life and its infinite mysteries and adventures… [The MPDG] seems to exist only to provide spiritual or mystical help to the protagonist. The MPDG has no discernible inner life. Instead, her central purpose is to provide the protagonist with important life lessons. “

-Wikipedia (Manic Pixie Dream Girl was coined by Nathan Rabin)

✨The Manic Pixie Dream Girl is arguably THEE female movie trope of the last 40 years in pop culture. As movies moved away from the Bombshell aesthetic of the 1950’s, most notably, Marilyn Monroe; Audrey Hepburn as Holly Golightly in Breakfast at Tiffany’s introduced a new kind of woman. (Even her last name, go-lighly is a play on her attitude towards the world) A woman who throws caution to the wind & isn’t afraid to take risk. In fact, this woman LIVES to take risk! She flutters in & flutters out of the Male gaze, usually chasing some wild dream of being a fashion designer, writer, actress ect, OR is a notch above (or under, depending on how you look at it) an aimless sexy hobo. Regardless of her career ambitions, she’s always as creative as she is elusive— yet somehow, is always able to drop into the male’s life right in the knick of time, whisking the male away on some fever-dream like adventures. Encountering the Manic Pixie Dream Girl almost ALWAYS accompanies a spiritual Awakening for our male protagonist. Upon meeting this woman, usually in some weird, “only happens once in a life-time” way, his world gets thrown into a chaotic flurry. Everything he thought he knew he now knows he never knew anything about it at all. He questions life, he questions reason, he question society, capitalism, the “American Dream”, etc. This is BEST demonstrated by Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) in Fight Club, directed by David Fincher. (If you haven’t seen this movie, you MUST (18+), Brad Pitt is at PEAK sexiness…s/o to the Female Gaze lol) Fight Club is a wicked tale of a man fighting himself, society & his own psyche after meeting a woman who mirrored him so closely, it triggered a masculinity awakening. This is the function of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl. She is so free, so unbound, so fluid, & feminine, she helps to bring to life the masculine side of a man by reflecting his own inner chaos back to him.

As a Ardra, Punarvasu, Swati, Vishika, Mula Rising or Mutable Rising Sign: Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, or Pisces, this could be one of the ways you appear through the male gaze. Because your temperament & view of life can be so changeable, you can come across as a free-spirit, a loss soul, or a wonderer. Perhaps you are, & perhaps you aren’t, but as quickly as you change a hairstyle, you change your goals in life. The male feels as if he needs to tame you, give you structure, security or direction OR he feels like he wants to join you! Break away from the daily grind of life, break societies expectations of him & rendezvous w you, eating cereal, painting & watching cartoons all day. You can represent a child-like wonder and be the embodiment of the “wild-side” of life! As the mutable rising signs of the Zodiac, you tend to be moody & unpredictable. Through the Male Gaze, men may find it hard to connect with you because you always seem “elsewhere”. You always seem a little dazed, perhaps a little confused, but certainly “pixie” like in your approach to life. To the right male, you are fascinating, like a Jackson Pollock painting (the splatter paint dude) in the works— each stroke improvised, never knowing where the paint is going to land, but intrigued more by your process than the final product.

✨Music:

Female Gaze: Like a Bird- Nelly Furtado

Male Gaze: Sex And Candy- Marcy Playground

✨Examples

Holly Golightly- Breakfast at Tiffany’s

Jules- Euphoria

Summer- 500 Days of summer

Robyn Brooks- High Fidelity

Helena- Fight Club

Cat- Victorious

Issa- Insecure

Raven- That’s So Raven

Bubbles- Powerpuff Girls

Emily- Emily in Paris

Sally Bowles- Cabaret

💋Ice Queen

Nakshatras: Jyestha, Dhanishta, Uttara Bhadrapada

Zodiacs: Aquarius, Libra, Cancer, Scorpio

Planets: Saturn, Uranus, Moon, Venus

Tarot Card: Queen of Swords (Water & Air)

✨Defintion:

“…Cool, reserved, and giving nothing away. She may want love as ardently as anyone, but she masks her soft heart behind a wall of ice. It is up to someone else, typically her Love Interest, to soften her cold demeanor and win her love.

The Ice Queen is considered dangerous to love because she will not (or cannot) love back. She's not much for friendship either, preferring to be alone.” tvtropes .org

✨The Ice Queen is cold & unforgiving. She IS the resting bitch face personified, unimpressed & unfazed by those around her. Seemingly aloof, the male in the story is always trying to breakthrough her tough and unbothered exterior. Her coldness posses a real challenge to anyone who is interested in her romantically. She’s just a bitch. And a bad one at that! The Ice Queen is stern in her appearance & her approach to life. Usually divorced, or widowed, but doesn’t have to be, she walks as if she carries the weight on the world of her shoulder. She’s been abandoned by happiness in life, but she’s so regal, no one knows how deep her scars cut. She can resemble the Boss Bitch/Diva trope, because she normally holds a lot of power, but she carries a certain detachedness that is unique to this trope. She is NOTHING nice. The Ice Queen is hard to please & has no issues letting people know she’s unsatisfied. The Male wants to “warm her up”, breakthrough her cold exterior & get to know why she is so damn mean! In some cases he succeeds, in others he realized she’s just a mean & shallow as he originally thought. Elvira Hancock in Scarface is the prototype for this feminine character trope. Not only is her nose typically buried nose deep in snow (if you get it, you get it), she’s. a. straight. cold-hearted. biotch. She’s unbelievably gorgeous & unapproachable, & this is exactly what draws the male protagonist in to her. But even after the male “wins her over”, she was never satisfied. An Ice Queen to her CORE, she was never one to be defrosted. Defamed? Maybe…Defrosted…never.

It’s worth noting that the Ice Queen is usually HIGHLY fashionable. Not the cheap stuff either— the Ice Queen is a Queen none the less. She’s not the T-shirt & jeans girl next door, or the purple hairdo manic pixie…she’s class & sophistication. First rule, you gotta be hot to be so cold.

If you are a Jyestha, Dhanishta, Uttara Bhadrapada Rising or an Aquarius, Libra or Cancer Rising, or have Saturn, Uranus, the Moon, or Venus aspecting your first house, you may find that you come across as the Ice Queen through the male gaze. You carry a certain reserved & detached aura upon first meeting someone. Rarely would you put all your cards on the table. There is also a certain maturity that you carry with you when you walk into a room. Men will assume “oh, this girl, she’s been through some stuff”. You may find that you are somewhat withdrawn in social situations, although people may be very drawn to you. You don’t necessarily care about being liked, but you certainly care about being respected. You come off as if you don’t tolerate any kind of messiness. Men may think you play hard to get or that you just think you’re better than the average. Whatever! You don’t care what they think. You’re too busy reading or being an intellectual (whatever that means lol…this is the male gaze we are talking about). Again, to the right egotistical man who believes he can “warm you up”, you are a welcomed and ongoing challenge. The Ice Queen is the female trope of male dissatisfaction. When a Male encounters the Ice Queen in cinema, she tend to represent a part of the male that will NEVER be pleased, content or accepted. Normally the man after this cold woman’s stone-cold heart is trying to prove his worth to the world around him, & the Ice Queen serves as the perfect trophy. If he can impress her/have her, he can impress anyone & have the World! The Ice Queen is the ultimate prize for the male protagonist w ego/self-esteem issues. Nothing humbles a man quite like a cold-hearted bitch. You may find in your dating life, Male’s feel the need to impress you for no good reason..or maybe you enjoy watching men walk on their heads for a date w you! Either way, as the Ice Queen female trope you carry a certain air about you that commands attention & respect. You carry authority over yourself & those around you. The male gaze says although your intimidating, your worth a try to shut down all the haters, even if you’re hater number 1!

✨Music:

Female Gaze: Needed Me- Rihanna

Male Gaze: Roses- OutKast, Cooler than Me- Mike Posner

✨Examples

Elvira Hancock-Scarface

Camille- The Sapranos

Lady Mae Greenleaf- Greenleaf

Elsa- Frozen

Jade- Victorious

Elekta Evangelista- Pose

Claire- House of Cards

Molly- Insecure

Lucille- Arrested Development

Betty Draper- Mad Men

Mother Shannon, House of Balenciaga- Legendary

Cersei Lannister- Game of Thrones

Dominique La Rue- Harlem Nights

Gru’s Mom- Despicable Me

💋Femme Fatale

Nakshatras: Ashwini, Bharani, Ashlesha, Purva Bhadrapada, Shatabisha

Zodiacs: Aries, Scorpio, Cancer

Planets: Mars, Pluto

Tarot Card: Queen of Wands (Fire & Water)

✨Definition

“A femme fatale,sometimes called a maneater or vamp, is a stock character of a mysterious, beautiful, and seductive woman whose charms ensnare her lovers, often leading them into compromising, deadly traps. She is an archetype of literature and art. Her ability to enchant, entice and hypnotize her victim with a spell was in the earliest stories seen as verging on supernatural; hence, the femme fatale today is still often described as having a power akin to an enchantress, seductress, witch, having power over men. Femmes fatales are typically villainous, or at least morally ambiguous, and always associated with a sense of mystification, and unease.”

-Wikipedia

✨The Femme Fatale is arguably the most ICONIC of the female movie tropes. A popular trope of Film Noir “movement” in the late 1940s, early 1950s, the Femme Fatale is a sexual seductress with a naughty side. Enchanting as she is dangerous, the male gaze ogles her, even though it may cost him his life— or at least his job & social standing. Medusa is one of the best representations of this trope. If a man locks eyes w her, he’s as good as dead— yet, time & time again, men tried to defeat her, only to meet a tragic end. As time progressed, the story of the woman who turns men to stone (definitely a sexual innuendo if you ask me) found new life in television & film. The Femme Fatale is a beautiful disaster just waiting to happen. She’s wild, like the Manic Pixie Dream Girl, but she has a certain knack for danger and crime. She lures the male in & traps him like a spider in her web. The male is usually a little weary of the woman, but is overcome w her grace & charm, or he’s truly an unsuspecting victim who gets completely taken advantage of an entangled in whatever mess she’s made for herself. One way or the other, the male often ends up in a position of life & death after lusting after this dark & intriguing beauty. The film, Carmen Jones, starring Dorthy Dandridge, is a classic tale of a woman w loose morals who ends up (spoiler alert) dead. Unlike most of the other female tropes, the femme fatale almost always suffers consequences for her actions. She either ends up in jail, or dead, or kills her lover, or he ends up in jail, or her lover ends up dead. Tragic, I know. Again, think of Medusa…she killed everything she laid her eye on, & then ultimately had to be killed. (RIP Medusa, you were a baddie). No one gets out scotch free when dealing w this character. The femme fatale is mysterious, almost like a mythical creature or an enchantress, & the male is instantly drawn into her, whether they exchange words in a bar, or she simply flicks her cigarette & he rushes to relight it. One thing is for sure, she lives by her own rules & is bound by nothing…not the law or death itself. She’s usually a criminal minded free-spirit, manipulating her way through life to survive.

If you are an Ashwini, Bharani, Ashlesha, Purva Bhadrapada Rising Or an Aries, Scorpio, or Cancer Rising, or you have Pluto or Mars aspecting your 1H, you may come off as the femme fatale through the male gaze. Your dark, broody & secretive nature is fascinating to them, and they want to join you on a passionate journey through time & space or save you from whatever sticky situation you may have put yourself in. They want to play detective & you are the perfect case to crack. When the femme fatale enters the male’s life, she instantly posses a threat to his usually naive understanding of the world. She’s not your typical housewife— far from it. She challenges the traditional social construct of beauty & submission. Normally from a troubled/difficult past past, the femme fatale will only submit to law & death, she’s been forced to learn the ugly sides of life & uses them to her advantage. You may find that male’s tend to want to dominate you or control your direction in life in relationships, but you are REPULSED by this notion. This trope teaches men (and woman sadly), that freedom comes w a cost. Hopefully it’s not your life, but if it is, you sure make a sexy corpse!

✨Music:

Female Gaze: Wild side- Normani

Male Gaze: Dirty Diana -Michael Jackson

✨Examples

Filomena (Sophia Lauren)- Marriage Italian Style

Cat Woman- Batman

Carmen- Carmen Jones

Dr. Frank-N-Furter (played by the wonderful Lavern Cox)- The Rocky Horror Picture Show

Jennifer- Jennifer’s Body

Gilda (Rita Hayworth)- Gilda

Amy Dunne- Gone Girl

Laura Biel- 365 Days

Alex Vause- Orange Is the New Black

💋Queen Bee/Mean Girl

Nakshatras: Krittika, Purva Phalguni, Chitra, Purva Ashadha

Zodiacs: Libra, Capricorn, Aries, Leo, Taurus & Gemini

Planets: Venus, Mars, Sun, Mercury

Tarot Card: Princess of Swords (Earth & Fire)

“The Mean Girl trope had us all believe that the dark side to womanhood is catty, conniving competitiveness.”

The swaddle.com

“Mean girls are often overly concerned with appearance. They may place a high priority on their clothing, their make-up, and even their weight. Likewise, they may zero in on these things in others, pointing out everything from acne and weight gain to clothing choices and hairstyles.”

-theteenmagazine.com

✨Somewhere between The Ice Queen and The Diva, there lies a sweet sour sweet CLASSIC female trope that always leaves the girls GAGGING in disbelief, like “did she just say that?!!” The Queen Bee/Mean Girl trope has her fair share of representation in film & TV, particularly in teen dramas, but she is NOT limited to high school. The Queen Bee is in charge, she knows what she wants, she knows how she likes it & she has ZERO problem letting her loyal subject know. Sometimes, she is portrayed w a deep deep deep DEEP down heart of hold, but most of the time, she’s just a straight biotch from beginning to end. You DON’T want to cross her, or you just might end-up on her ever growing hit-list. If there is one thing Ms. Mean Girl can do..it’s hold a grudge. As stated above, the Queen Bee/Mean girl trope serves the stereotype of the cattiness & competitiveness of femininity. And it is a fact that in the wild, the female animals are usually far more aggressive than their male counterparts. (Think Lion, or a Mama Bear). Boys may have their sports, but lady’s have their looks & they will secure that W come hell or high water all the way to Prom Queen.

If you are a Krittika, Purva Phalguni, Chitra, Purva Ashadha Rising or Libra, Taurus, Aries, Leo or Gemini Rising, OR if you have Venus, Mars or the Sun aspecting your 1H/7H, you may come off as the typical Mean Girl Trope through the Male Gaze. You’re aloof, yet decisive about the things you truly care about— like— “Wednesdays, we wear pink”. You keep people on the tip of their toes with witty banter & effortless conversation. If they don’t know the latest trends, the current celebrity gossip or who dumped whom…well, you’re just not interested in what they have to say, so why bother? You can play the villain easily & have no problem being unliked as long as you are respected. You are a social butterfly, a socialite, if you will. You know how to make the streets talk with admiration & envy. People may be afraid that they can’t meet your standards, but good, they probably can’t. NO UGLY FRIENDS is the motto— people may think you actually hold try-outs for who is allowed to sit with you at the table. Through it all, you know how to take control & lead— this energy oozes from you as people seem to just step aside as you sashay down the halls. Always up on the latest fashion, you always come w your A-game and your enemies will NEVER catch you slipping. There is a beautiful confidence that you exude because you know you are the one and only. People may be extremely intimidated by you, but the real ones will bow at your feet.

The shadow side of this trope is the shadiness. Queen Bees/Mean girls are known for being just that—MEAN. People may assume that you are quite backstabby & mischievous. YOU, of all the movie tropes, don’t mind playing

d-i-r-t-y! People perceive you as never wanting to let go of that crown & you’ll do whatever it takes to keep the social order in tact. Think “Status-Quo” High School Musical w Sharpay, the ULTIMATE representation of this trope, screaming from the top of the cafeteria! (THIS IS NOT WHAT SHE WANTS! THIS IS NOT WHAT SHE PLANNED!!!!!) She didn’t care who she had to cut, scheme, lie, trick, plot & sabotage to make SURE Ms. Gabriella did not get the spotlight w her man, Troy. Think of the lengths you’ll go to to get what you want. You come off as spicy, cunt-y (in the best way), & beautiful. You are a glamour girl & never afraid to throw some shade here & there, making you the ultimate reigning Queen Bee!

✨Music

Female Gaze: Feeling Myself- Nicki Minaj

Male Gaze: Mad at myself- Issues

✨Examples

Maddie- Euphoria

Regina George- Mean Girls

CoCo- Dear White People

Lulu- Pose

Toni- Girlfriends

Emma Roberts in Coven & Scream Queens

Blair- Gossip Girl

Cheryl Blossom- Riverdale

Santana- Glee (Rest in Peace)

Buttercup- Powerpuff Girls

Alison DiLaurentis- Pretty Little Liars

Sharpay- High School Musical

The Heathers

Penelope- My Dog (LOVE HER, but she’s such a Bitch—a bad one though lol)

💋Ingenue/Damsel in Distress

Nakshatras: Mrigashirsa, Rohini, Hasta, Revati

Zodiacs: Cancer, Capricorn, Libra, Aries (All Cardinal Rising Signs) & Pisces, Taurus

Planets: Moon, Venus, Saturn

Tarot Card: Queen of Cups (Water) Libra, Aries

“The ingénue usually has the fawn-eyed innocence of a child but subtle sexual appeal as well.”

“The damsel in distress is a recurring narrative device (or trope) in which one or more men must rescue a woman who has either been kidnapped or placed in general peril. Kinship, love, or lust (or a combination of those) gives the male protagonist the motivation or compulsion to initiate the narrative. The female character herself may be competent, but still finds herself in this type of situation.”

Wikipedia

✨The Ingenue/Damsel in Distress is one of the most recognizable female movie tropes to date. From the tales of The Greeks, to King-Kong, to Broomhilda from Djengo— there is always some damsel…somewhere…that is…in fact…in…distress. The Ingenue is a naive babe, just learning the ins & outs of life. She’s pretty, she’s unassuming & adorably doe-eyed, full of wonder for the life ahead of her— just waiting for a strong man to show her the way! The ingenue is common, but in the best way. She’s not an ice-cold bitch like the Ice Queen or the Queen Bee, but she sits more in her femininity that the Tomboy or the Diva. She’s divine & subtle and a man is always lurking around the corner, waiting to whisk her away from all the evils in the world. If this sounds like a Disney Princess, it’s because it is. Most Disney Princesses would fit into the Ingenue/Damsel in Distress character trope, but just like most of the Princesses, no matter how young & impressionable, the Ingenue is usually the one who makes a way for herself in the end.

If you are a Mrigashirsa, Rohini, Hasta, Revati Rising or a Cardinal rising (Aries, Cancer, Libra Capricorn) or Pisces, the male gaze may perceive you as the Ingenue/Damsel in Distress trope. Your beauty & grace exceed you, & your youth is ever-present. When the male sees you, they just want to protect you & hold you dear. You spark masculinity in those who are attracted to you because you come across so soft & gentle. But don’t get it twisted, you can be a little spicy! You certainly have a little sass to you, but you try not to wear it on your sleeve. You are a true darling to those who are deserving. You serve ultimate demure womanliness & you seem to glide through any room you’re in. Although your impulsiveness & naiveté may land you in some sticky situations, there’s always a lovely leading man just beyond the pines to lead you out of the darkness and into their arms (Awwwwwwwwwww). You may be the type to need help opening the pickle jar, or clumsily fall into some big strong arms— you don’t mind being on the receiving end of affection & people just swoon over you. Unlike the Door Next Door, there can still be an “unapproachability” factor to you. You’re not the girl from down the street, you’re the new girl in town; a little lost, a little curious, but always cute! You may find that men tend to underestimate you & you’re constantly trying to prove yourself. OR you can find yourself in situations where your voice tends to be over powered as you get lost in a sea of toxic masculinity! Either way, you know how to leave a room in awe. You carry just enough mystique & intrigue that male’s fight to know more about you, but yet they just feel as if you’re a naturally good person. You’re coy, but not too coy. You’re shy, but not too shy. You are the perfect “woman”. You may have a past, but your future is always bright! A hero waits around the corner for the perfect time to catch you when you fall or introduce you to a world you didn’t know existed.

As the Ingenue/Damsel in Distress, your energy is POWERFUL, almost as if you’re sexily yelling “Fire! Fire! Save me! Help me!” when you walk into the room. You know how to keep the male gaze & they will break their necks to see you eloquently walk by. Before the reign of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl, you were the trope on top— the beautiful default representation of hyper-femininty in the 20s/30s/40s. You set the standards for the early starlets, they were nothing if they weren’t the lovely ingenue!

✨Music

Female Gaze: Bring Me to Life- Evanessance, Pretty When I Cry- Lana Del Ray

Male Gaze: Let Me Love You- Mario

✨Examples

Betty Draper- Mad Men

Celie- The Color Purple

Neytiri- Avatar

Autumn- P-Valley

Daisy- The Great Gatsby

Persephone- The [Abduction] of Persephone

Irene- Drive

Angel Evangelista- Pose

Disney Princesses

Broomhilda- Django Unchained

Piper Chapman- Orange Is the New Black

Mississippi- P-Valley

Penelope- The Odyssey

Satine- Mulan Rouge

💋Girl Next Door/Tomboy

Nakshatras: Anuradha, Uttara Ashadha, Shravana

Planets:Jupiter, Venus, Neptune

Zodiacs: Virgo, Sagittarius, Pisces, Taurus, Libra

Tarot Card: Princess of Pentacles (Earth)

“The girl next door is usually from a small town or an un-flashy neighborhood. Her personality tends to be down-to-earth, supportive, and approachable. For both her main boy and her culture at large, the girl next door embodies an idealized, wholesome femininity.”

-the-take.com

✨The Girl Next Door/Tomboy Trope is by far the most realistic & relatable female trope of all. She’s not flashy. She’s not mean. She’s kind & sometimes even “one of the guys”. She gives off an innocence that makes her irresistible to the male gaze because she’s just so darn cool. She’s “not like the other girls”. Although she may prefer a comfy t-shirt & jeans, she’s comfortable in her femininity. She doesn’t try to compete with other woman— even though other woman my try & compete with her. Why? Because she’s usually the girl surrounded by all the guys— not because she flaunts her beauty, but rather because she’s not stuck on herself. She challenges the status quo demonstrating that sexy can be fun, sexy can be sweet & sexy can be “normal”. Zendaya is arguably the IT girl of a generation & she usually plays this type of character. She comes across as someone you can sip cool-aid with after she beats you in a round of basketball! For some, that’s sexier than Marilyn Monroe herself! This is the All-American (no matter the race) beauty that only lives a few doors down. This trope is most likely to be in the “friend-zone”, until one day the male realizes…”OH MY GOSH! SHE HAS BOOBS!”

If you are an Anuradha, Uttara Ashadha, Shravana Rising OR a Virgo, Sagittarius, Pisces, Taurus, Libra Rising, you could come off as the Girl Next Door/Tomboy female trope. You’re approachable & not stuck on yourself & that makes you highly desirable through the male gaze. You’re simple & non-demanding like some of your other female counterparts and this makes you a breath of fresh air in a Kardashian fueled instagram dystopia. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure you know how to clean up nicely! When it’s times for you to put on a skirt & heels, you knock ‘em dead. You’re stunning! But you’d much rather lead with personality than looks. You have an effortlessness about you that can’t be obtained by just anyone. At times you may feel a bit awkward about your sexuality, but again, through the right male’s gaze, this is SUCH a turn on. This is an extremely powerful trope because you are realistic. You may have big dreams, but you feel like you come from humble beginnings. You’re authentic to yourself, not to Chanel & Gucci. Sometimes, you may feel overlooked & one-up’d by the “popular girl”, but there is ALWAYS someone who thinks you are the most beautiful girl in the room because you light up the room like no body else & don’t get me started on the way you flip your hair & how it gets the boys overwhelmed. You don’t know you’re beautiful…and that’s….that’s what makes you so beautiful. How lovely!

If you are the Girl Next Door Trope, you don’t have to worry about putting on a show to impress the boysies around you. Just continue to be you’re cool & down to Earth self. Even though it seems like we live in Shallow Land, where everything is based on superficial looks & flawless instagram selfies, you’re super special because you don’t give in. Don’t conform & don’t rush to be the “it” girl. You don’t need the BBL & the thick lashes. (NOTHING IS WRONG W THIS!!! NOTHING~~~) Your natural beauty is more than enough through the Male Gaze!

✨Music

Female Gaze: All You Wanted- Michelle branch

Male Gaze: Hey There Delilah- The Plain White Tees

*sorry I couldn’t link it! Ran out of space!

✨Examples

MJ (Zendaya)- Spider-Man

Zoe- Grownish

Victoria-Victorious

Monica- Love & Basketball

Bella- Twilight

Justice-Poetic Justice

Peggy- Mad Men

Moeisha- Moeisha

Betty Cooper- Riverdale

Blanca Rodriguez- Pose

Apollonia- Purple Reign

Danielle- The Girl Next Door

💋Diva/Boss Bitch

Nakshatras: Pushya, Magha, Uttara Phalguni

Planets: Sun, Saturn, Mars

Zodiacs: Leo, Scorpio, Taurus, Aquarius (All Fixed Rising Signs) & Sagittarius, Capricorn

Tarot Card: Queen of Pentacles (Earth & Water)

“The strong, dark, beautiful woman. She's often a go-getter, chasing stardom, wealth, or just recognition for her talents. If she becomes an Idol, she's not constrained by the pressures of always appearing youthful, innocent, and approachable.

Part of her allure is instead her maturity, either in personality or in sexuality. When she walks in the room she not only turns heads, but she demands respect and won't hesitate to set you straight if she doesn't get it.”

-tvtropes.org

✨The Diva/Boss Bitch Female trope is THEE BADDEST BITCH. She’s worked hard to get where she is & she isn’t going to let some MAN come along and knock her off her thrown. This female trope demands a certain level of respect when she walks into the room— all heads turn because they know she’s the boss, just waiting to give quick & sharp directions. Usually fashionable, because she can AFFORD it (hello!), she knows how to command in any setting while looks good. A trend setter! She may be one of the most intimidating of the female tropes through the Male Gaze, on par with the Ice Queen, because the Diva carries a certain masculine energy. She usually is running things & bossing men around herself. She doesn’t let her sex get in the way of her ambition & talent. This character trope is not afraid to speak her mind because she knows she has just as much right to a seat at the table as anyone. She’s hard to impress & won’t settle for anything less than perfect. Mediocrity will NOT FLY with the Diva. She expects & she will have the best.

If you are a Pushya, Magha, Uttara Phalguni Rising or a Leo, Scorpio, Taurus, Aquarius, Sagittarius, or Capricorn Rising, you may come off as the Diva/Boss Bitch female character trope. You seem to prioritize work, success & your ambition over friendships & relationships. You force the males who gaze upon you to reevaluate their own status & merit in the world. They know you can’t be easily swayed & have to step to you with their best foot forward. Usually depicted as an insatiable boss, men may feel you’re an insatiable lover— demanding & hard to please…whatever, this doesn’t stop you! You know what you want & if they don’t get it for you, you’ll get it your damn self. You come off as self-assured & somewhat egotistical. You’re proud of your work & you expect to be treated like the BOSS that you are. If someone has a problem with that, well then, they can just get in line! Olivia Pope in Scandal is a great example of this trope in action. First, she has a J.O.B. & she’s DAMN good at it. The best, even. Her sex appeal through the male gaze is due to her wits & her competence. Like you, as soon as she walks into the room, people know it’s business time.

If you are the Diva/Boss Bitch Trope, don’t let ANYONE discredit your hustle—not another woman, not a man…NO ONE! You’ve worked hard to get where you are, and it shows because of the way you carry yourself. You can be one of the classiest tropes of all & that’s more impressive than you could ever know. Your beauty lies in the fact that you are sophistication personified. Your intrigue lies in the fact of your rarity! Not every woman is as ambitious or as capable as you are. You make men shiver when they lay eyes on you because you have an aura that screams “STEP YOUR GAME UP OR GET TO STEPPING!” Never try to dim who you are. You’re bossy & you’re the bitch they all LOVE to hate! Let them! You’d probably hate you too if you weren’t you because you are just too fly to handle! Confidence oozes from your pores because you know your stuff. Although it’s lonely at the top, you enjoy the view of downtown from your corner office! It’s hard to compete where others don’t compare Ms. Diva! Own it!

✨Music

Female Gaze: Flawless- Beyoncé

Male Gaze: Ms. Independent- Ne-yo

*sorry I couldn’t link it! Ran out of space!

✨Examples

Olivia Pope- Scandal

Blossom- Powerpuff Girls

Miranda Priestly— Devil Wears

Annalise Keeting- How To Get Away With Murder

Sylvie- Emily in Paris

Jaqueline- Boomerang

Shug Avery- The Color Purple

Cookie- Empire

Mercedes- P-Valley

Matron “Mama” Morton- Chicago

#astrology #vedic astrology #astro notes #astrology observations #sidereal astrology #astrology notes #astro observations #music #rising sign #movie tropes #Spotify

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yeetlegay · 2 years

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Not for nothing, the representation of Porsche’s bisexuality means a lot to me as a bi person who didn’t figure out my identity until my early 20s. The journey that he goes through in the first half of the show, from a presumed straight man to a bisexual man in love with another man, is written and acted with so much empathy and grace. Porsche’s feelings about his identity and presentation of self are allowed to be confused, hesitant, and complicated without him being homophobic or misogynistic. The result is a more subtle arc of self-discovery, but such an important one. Porsche may not have deep-rooted internal prejudices but he still exists within oppressive structures that shape all our lives whether we want them to or not. Even though he doesn’t deny or dislike his feelings for Kinn, he does quietly struggle sometimes with the discomfort of being queer in a world that sees queer as “other.”

I think part of why this hits so hard is Apo himself. Now I don’t really follow the actors very closely and I try hard to separate the art from the artist, so I don’t want to place too much weight on this. But I do think Apo really brings a particular level of empathy and nuance to Porsche’s identity that deserves appreciation. Apo has spoken a number of times about how much he struggled with homophobic treatment in the Thai film/TV industry through the course of his career. He was often asked invasive questions about his sexuality, made fun of for the way he dresses and presents himself, and demeaned for being feminine or not masculine enough. It seems to have been a key factor in his decision to leave the industry (and even Thailand) entirely.

To be clear, he’s never made any public statement about his sexuality or gender identity, and it’s no one’s business to presume or ask about how he identifies. The problem was that, regardless of how he actually identified, homophobia had a big impact on him personally and professionally. Homophobia (along with all other forms of hate and violence) doesn’t hurt just queer people—it hurts everyone, because it confines and regulates people’s lives/bodies, and punishes deviations, big and small, from the norm.

Apo has some pretty incredible gender vibes to be honest. Something about his mannerisms, his face, his fashion choices, his presentation, just strikes keen envy in my nonbinary bisexual heart lol. And he brings that nuance into Porsche’s character so beautifully. Porsche gets to be tender as he is tough, someone who cares for his loved ones and shows affection without being demeaned for it. He’s allowed to be this strong, tall, muscular guy without it being prescriptive of his internal feelings and personality and how he presents in his voice and mannerisms. No one (least of all him) is policing his body and gender in the way queer people, particularly queer men, so often deal with. He gets to just be.

The freedom in that, for me at least, feels like a revelation. I feel loved when I watch Porsche, because his journey as a bisexual man isn’t rooted in his own repression or external prejudice. Even when he identified as straight, he didn’t behave or present in a way that was engineered to convey heterosexuality or even masculinity. He was already comfortable in his skin, and figuring out his sexuality was more of an internal journey than one centered on his body and how the world perceives it.

Obviously there’s nothing wrong with identity crises/questions/discoveries that do involve repression or homophobia (mine certainly does, thanks Catholic school 🙃). But I think it’s really neat that Porsche’s arc doesn’t, because it brings up questions that often get buried under the avalanche of homophobic/misogynistic/transphobic shit that unfortunately we so often have to wade through to come to our own queer identities. And that’s why I mentioned Apo’s experience, because I really think that as someone who’s had such a hard time in the industry in the past—precisely because he does step outside rigid gender norms—he really gets how homophobia shapes a person’s understanding of their own body. And consciously or unconsciously, he created in Porsche a character who could be free, for fucking once, of that heavy weight around his neck.

So basically, I hope he knows how much that means to a lot of people, not just me. And I hope that playing Porsche has given him some amount of comfort or healing or validation. He gave homophobia and misogyny a massive middle finger through this character, and I hope that and his continued outspokenness about his experience make everyone think twice before policing people’s gender and bodies.

#kinnporsche #why don’t queue stay #apo nattawin #it also strikes me as especially ironic that one of the early discourse vultures we had to bat away from the fandom was bitching #about Porsche and Kinn not being ‘visibly queer enough’ bc they’re ‘masculine’ and ‘straight-presenting’ and Porsche fucks women #just the absolute worst most garbage take (from a queer person!) policing the fuck out of queer men and their bodies right out the gate #while Porsche to me has a veritable OCEAN worth of nuance #and actively bucks against cishet normative ideas about masculinity and queer men #imagine being that fucking focused on prescribing what queerness SHOULD look like instead of seeing what queerness CAN and DOES look like #anyway I fucking love Porsche I love his bisexuality and I fucking love his gender #and I fucking love Apo for giving him to us

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mitskijamie · 6 months

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pleaseeee give us more bigender jamie thoughts the concept is too good

Bigender Jamie my beloved….

He uses he/she pronouns <3 she doesn't mind they/them (pronouns are like. not very important to her honestly. she probably couldn’t tell you what a pronoun was if you asked LMAO) but she just doesn't really connect with gender neutrality/androgyny as much as she does with manhood and womanhood as separate and coexisting entities yk

When Jamie's super little, he starts asking Georgie why there are only boys and girls and he can't be both, and instead of jumping to tell him that's just the way it is (because she wants her bub to be a free thinker. obviously), she thinks about it for a while and is like. Well. I don’t know. I suppose you can be both if you’d like? And Jamie is like “ok :) yay :)” and runs with it

Georgie lets Jamie wear/do whatever he wants. She’s a very busy woman and simply has bigger things to worry about than her child wearing a pink shirt or whatever the fuck. As long as she can afford it, she'll buy it for him, because she's just trying to keep him happy and pay the bills yk

So Jamie amasses a small collection of what he calls “girl stuff," like these types of things

which he absolutely loves and has so much fun w. He's never pressured to identify any certain type of way or change anything about himself, always allowed to experiment, and he's very comfortable until he meets his dad

James starts coming around again when Jamie’s like 10ish, and he’s horrified by Georgie’s lax stance on masculinity and makes Jamie break/cut up/throw out her "girl stuff," because he doesn't think it's at all appropriate for his "son"

Having to destroy his favorite clothes and toys while his dad berates her is super traumatic and completely alters his perception of her gender/gender as a whole. When it was just him and Georgie, Jamie sort of took it for granted that he had room to experiment and didn’t realize that most people really don’t think it’s okay, and so it's a big shock and really forces her into the closet for a long time

Then she starts at the academy and everything around her is super masculine all the time, and she really tries put it behind her and convince herself that it was a phase and she doesn't have any need to indulge in that part of herself, since she's comfortable as a man and doesn't exactly feel disconnected from manhood

But as hard as he tries to convince himself otherwise, he always feels like he's missing part of himself. He's content with the life he's living and absolutely loves being one of the lads, but there's just something missing and it's undeniable and uncomfortable and always bubbling below the surface

So she's stuck in that limbo until she starts dating Keeley. He shows her an old picture where he’s wearing a Cinderella costume at daycare or something and tells her how he used to want to be “a girl and a boy at the same time” + about the “girl stuff” and how James made him destroy it, and he recounts the whole thing like it’s a funny story (because that’s just how he processes things) and is expecting Keeley to laugh with him, but she just gives him this really sad look and tells him she's sorry that happened to him and she hopes he feels comfortable expressing himself authentically with her

Which he doesn't at first, but he acclimates, because Keeley is willing to meet him halfway and work it out with him <3 She does his makeup on occasion and they experiment with phrases like "good girl" and "girlfriend" and even subtle public expressions of femininity like jewelry and nail polish and "women's" soap/shampoo, which Jamie really loves mixing with his generally masculine presentation

At one point Keeley asks her if she thinks she's a trans woman, and she's like. ":/ I don't think so, like I don't want to be a woman all the time, I just wish I could be a lady without having to give up being a lad 😔”

And Keeley of course is like "oh like bigender?"

She says it like it's nothing, but it's the first time Jamie's ever heard that and he had no idea that that was a real option and genuinely feels like he's found something he's been looking for his entire life and literally almost cries

(You can't spell "lady" without "lad" <3)

So Jamie starts to get Girl Stuff again (including some early-aughts nostalgia items identical to the things that James made her get rid of, which is very healing) and present the way she wants to present and has never ever been happier and finally feels whole

I have a LOT of thoughts about Jamie's gender identity and his relationship with Roy and the internal conflict/shame that would arise from that, but this post is already soooo long so you guys will have to let me know if you want me to talk about all that in another post

She's mostly pretty comfortable with her body, so she forgoes gender affirming surgeries, but she does start estrogen in her mid-late 20's, which is a game changer because it makes it easier to present feminine when she wants to while also allowing her to present masculine when she wants to

He doesn't really ever come out to the team, because that's not his style. They can figure it out on their own. (If you assume she's cis that's on you etc.) And they do!!! Dani starts calling her "amiga" on tuesdays thursdays and saturdays and "amigo" on mondays wednesdays and fridays or something like that lmaooo

He does come out to Georgie and Simon tho <3 Georgie is not surprised at all and takes to adding "baby girl" and "my daughter" to her repertoire very quickly, and at the end of the day she's the person whose opinion matters most to Jamie, so it's just a huge weight off his shoulders

(Simon makes her a bi flag cake and is like "love is love <3" and Jamie is like. Hm. Well. Thank you. You're a little lost but thank you)

#ask #jamie tartt #child abuse #transphobia #jamiegender #jeeley

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starlitmark · 11 months

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Summary: Ten isn’t like anyone you’ve ever been with, and he likes that knowledge. Pairing: Ten x fem!reader Tropes: hookup au(?) Genre: smut Rating: R 18+ Warnings: club setting, Ten in a skirt, language Smut Warnings: unprotected sex, bathroom sex Word Count: 516 Note: for the Tarot Card Drabble event Requested by: @sun-kore

The Hanged Man ➾ different, distinctive, unforgettable sex

You’ve never seen someone so masculine yet feminine at the same time. Something about the individual sharing glances across the dimly lit club makes you curious. They come sauntering over to you. The black pleated skirt paired with the oversized, half-tucked white button-up makes you even more intrigued by them. They have messy bedhead-styled hair. It falls into their eyes slightly, not enough to obstruct their vision but enough to be mysterious.

“Never seen a hot guy in a skirt before?” they say.

“No one quite as hot as you.” you flirt back, “So, you identify as male?”

“Why do you ask, sweetheart?”

“Just don’t want to misgender anyone.” you clarify, “I couldn’t care what you identify as. I just know I wanna fuck you.”

“Well, sweetheart,” he chuckles, stepping a bit closer to you, “how do you feel about getting railed by a hot guy in a skirt?”

“Show me the way.”

Before you know it, you’re pinned against the wall of a less-than-clean stall in the bathroom. One of his hands plays with your chest while the other hikes your leg up around his hip. The flowy edge of his skirt makes goosebumps rise on your skin each time it flutters over your leg. You’re both lost in the heady kiss. Neither of you cares about people who come or go from the public restroom. After all, you’re behind the closed door of the stall. No one will know who you are.

His hand wanders lower. He shifts his hips back slightly to allow his fingers to toy with your heat. A shiver runs up your spine feeling his fingertips pressed against your needy hole. He chuckles and smirks against your lips.

“You’re soaked, sweetheart. You think you’re ready for me?”

“Please,” you sigh erotically.

He tugs your panties to the side and releases himself from his briefs below his skirt. You feel the blunt tip of his cock press against your bare core. A small broken moan escapes your lips as he slowly presses himself into you. He sighs quietly at how tight you are around him.

He was absolutely right about one thing. He’s absolutely railing you. You think you may see god at this point. Through your garbled thought process, you think he may actually be god somehow. Your eyes roll back in your head as he continues to fuck you roughly. His face is buried in your neck as he chases after his own high, unbothered by how loud you’re moaning. Before you know it, you’re bursting at the seams, and your orgasm overtakes your entire body. Your thighs shake and grip tighter around his hips. Your walls convulse around him. He lets out low groans and moans into your shoulder before his own orgasm comes to a head, and he releases inside you.

“If you ever want another railing by a boy in a pretty skirt, call me.”

“Wha- how?” you ask, catching your breath still.

“I’ll give you my number, duh?” he responds as if it’s a given.

“How about your name too?”

“Ten,” he smirks, “Ten Lee.”

Networks: @neohub @kwritersworld @k-vanity

Tag List: @jaehunnyy @ericssmile @anyamaris

#ten smut #nct smut #neohub #kwritersworldnet #kvanity #nct fanfic #wayv fanfic #nct x reader #wayv x reader #wayv smut #ten fanfic #ten x reader

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tr3ns-d3ath-d3ity · 2 years

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"LGBTQA+ is one of the most accepting communities, you're not being targeted by other queer people!! 😤😡"

Aight, time for the list of things related to my queer identity I've been yelled at for by other LGBTQA+ people (for context: I am an oriented aroace, trans, queer, and polyamorous dude):

・Being a trans man.

・Identifying as queer/calling myself queer.

・Saying that gay And mlm are two different things, just like wlw and lesbian are two different things

・Saying that trans women are women.

・Being attracted to men.

・Not being attracted to women and people on the genderqueer/nonbinary spectrum.

・Being oriented aroace.

・Not being monogamous.

・Talking about genuinely loving men.

・Being aspec and having npd (quote the girl who yelled at me for that: "your npd made you aroace, you're just to selfish to commit to genuine love lol.").

・Not being lesbian.

・Not being pan.

・Saying that I support mspec gays/lesbians because it’s not my place to judge other people’s identities just because I may not fully understand them.

・Saying mspec, the multi spectrum, or multiromantic/multisexual (to include ply, pan, omni, bi, neptunic, uranic, and every other pluralian sexuality) instead of just bi.

・Saying that nonbinary people can present themselves as masculine, androgynous, neutral, or feminine as they want, and still be nonbinary.

・Literally just. wearing green eyeshadow????? (quote the person who yelled at me for that: “t hat's a lesbian color, bro, you're literally appropriating lesbian culture by that.")

・Presenting masculine.

・Using he/him pronouns.

・Referring to the D-Slur as tThe D-Slur (y'all want me to say a slur I can't reclaim?????).

・Saying that the og polyamory flag (the blue-red-black one with the yellow pi symbol in the middle) looks neat.

・Not using any of the new polyamory flags because I prefer the blue-red-black + pi symbol one.

・Asking if there’s a word for nonbinary people who are exclusively/only attracted to other nonbinary people.

・Hating non-men who fetishize achillean relationships.

・Being specifically Half-Asian and queer.

・Writing books about exclusively queer men/non-women, mostly to cope with trauma stuff (apparently if your writing doesn't consist of a trillion sapphics, two gay fathers that get three seconds of screentime, and the occasionally non-human nonbinary person, it's automatically bad writing???? Okay damn. Sorry for focusing on my own experiences, I guess?).

・Not necessarily wanting to get married or have a romantic/sexual relationship.

・Shipping two characters in a queerplatonic way instead of a sexual/romantic one.

・Headcanoning a popular fandom character as aroace.

・Mentioning aroallo people.

・Saying that straight asexuals and straights aromantics are LGBTQA+ since that's what the A stands for.

・Not being T4T (I just wanna love men in peace fuck off with your "but cis men are horrible!! 🥺🤢😱 Limit yourself to trans men because I said so!! 😤🤬🤬"-Bullshit).

・Using someone’s neopronouns.

・Supporting xenogender people.

・Headcanoning a canonically lesbian character as trans female.

・Saying that I want more representation of achillean, aroace, trans, and asexual men in media.

・Asking asking someone who knew I used he/him pronouns to not refer to me with they/them (like, girlie, that’s called misgendering).

・Mentioning that women can be aroallo.

・Saying that people who don’t label their genders/sexualities can be LGBTQA+ too.

・Saying that two pan women I know in reallife dating each other aren’t lesbians because... they’re both pan?

・Mentioning that queer men should always be welcome in queer spaces.

・Saying that amab nonbinary folks can be lesbian.

・Wanting to go on T.

・Jokingly referring to my tiddies and my pussy as boys.

And last but not least,

・Saying "people", "y'all", "esteemed guests", or "everyone present" instead of "ladies and gentlemen".

I dunno, homie, I actually do feel a little targeted here.

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tower-girl-anon · 2 years

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Asteroid Alma (390) in the signs and houses

The asteroid Alma (390) is an asteroid whose discoverer was Guillaume Bigourdan. The name comes from the Spanish translation of the word “soul” which means, at first, that this asteroid in astrology represents who we really are as an essence. Very much like the moon and almost like our spirit. But, in this post, I’m going to take a definition that my teacher from a course of Akashic records told us in relation to the meaning of the soul. Because many people, including me, tended to confuse soul with spirit. In her own words, she said that the soul is a particular fragment of our spirit that carries a specific vibration. This vibration allows us to incarnate in a physical body and so it carries the stories of our past lives.

Taking this definition into consideration, I’ve decided to start this account by making a post about this asteroid in the signs and houses and what can be revealed about ourselves and our past incarnations.

This is a general topic so take this with a grain of salt. Most of the information comes from the personal research I’ve done along with my intuition, but if it resonates with any of you, please leave a comment so I can know if I should keep going with more astrology posts.

P.D: I apologize if I made any grammatical mistake. English is not my native language, please don’t repost it without giving credits.

Aries/1st house: Alma in this sign points to a very masculine energy so, if you feel more identified with that energy despite if you’re a man or woman in this incarnation, this placement can explain it. In a past life, or maybe in more than one, you were a man or just carried a lot of the warrior and driven nature of Aries (ruled by Mars) throughout your lives. You probably were a soldier or lived during times of conflict such as the first or second World War (just to say an example). Being Aries the first sign in the zodiac, this could also mean that your soul is a young one. On the downside, this sign can indicate that you hadn’t developed your masculine side, or you didn’t pursue what you felt driven to do or, on the other extreme, you developed this energy to an extreme. In the 1st house it indicates that, from the first meeting, people can see right through your core. On the other hand, it could mean that you carry some significant features from your past life’s bodies (maybe you decided even to incarnate with the exact features) or your body has mysterious marks that signals the way you died in a past life. For example: if you were a soldier in your past life and died from a bullet, maybe you have a scar or mole in your body that signals the place where the bullet entered your past life body. On a bright side, it could mean that these individuals are not afraid to show who they really are to others.

Taurus/2nd house: for those who have this asteroid in Taurus, there is a theme surrounding Venusian themes in past lives such as being an artist of some sort or maybe you had a theme with food since Taurus also rules that. Now, in relation to the last point, it should be noticed that Taurus, being the ruler of the second house (possessions and money), you could have lived in either a poor environment where you didn’t’ have enough resources to feed yourself or your family (in an extreme case you could have been homeless or died from extreme hunger) or in a very comfortable or rich environment. On a light note, you could have lived from the land like a farmer. In the 2nd house the soul really enjoy having stability in life, it makes them feel valued, because that is a theme that you’ve struggled with in one or many past lives. Maybe you lived in a higher class were the only thing that was valued from you was your wallet or possessions. If you struggle with insecurities towards yourself, learn to value yourself and recognize that you are valuable just as you are.

Gemini/3rd house: you’re a soul who carries knowledge and intelligence from your past lives. You are (and were) curious about different topics. You were most probably a teacher or a salesman that had to travelled through different towns to sell the merchandise (the 3rd house rules short travels) and that’s why its easier for you to learn new topics or languages. Since the ruler of Gemini is Mercury, you could have worked in anything that involves communication. A reporter in a newspaper, a secretary, a copyist, a teacher, a traductor, a linguistic, etc. Another interpretation of these aspects is that you have a soul connection with one or all your brothers and sisters (just in the case that you have any) since the 3rd house also rules this theme. On the downside, maybe you used your knowledge to manipulate, lie or scam others (it can be consciously or unconsciously).

Cancer/4th house: you’re an emphatic, feminine, mothering, and nurturing soul for sure despite if you’re a male or female in this life. Since many incarnations you’ve learned to connect deeply with your emotions, your needs, and discover who you really are. These needs can variate to each one depending in which house your Cancer falls in. In the 4th house this asteroid signifies that many members of your family share a soul connection with you, making it higher the chance of them being part of your soul tribe and you cared deeply for the wellbeing of many people before, especially your own family. Due to this I believe that one of the most significant roles that you had was the role of a mother, nurse and caretaker. On the downside, through lifetimes you've endured hard lessons sorrounding your family/mother/self-care/self-value due to the lack of a nurturing environment. You tried to search for a place/person/soul tribe to call home, which could come from memories of being part of an arranged marriage or maybe you were abandoned or orphaned early in your life.

Leo/5th house: it won’t surprise me if many of you were a famous figure in a past life. You could have been an important warrior, a king, a leader, a queen, celebrity, writer or artist that many people look up to, since you shone bright like the energy of the sun. Despite this, I should warn that your fame could not have been the best among the people. There is this possibility, but, putting aside if you were famous or not, you learned how to connect to your inner child and value yourself in a ego level (remember that the sun revolves about the self, the ego). You learned how to value your uniqueness among the masses in a healthy way. Another interpretation of this revolves around children (5th house). Maybe you feel connected to them and vice versa because you cared for them in the past. Nurse, mother, caretaker. If you have children in this lifetime, it is a huge possibility that one, or all of them, share a soul connection with you.

Virgo/6th house: the healer pile. Most probably you were a doctor, nurse, reiki healer or you exercised any practice that had to do with healing those who suffered from injuries or pain in their bodies. Now health can affect the mind too, so there is also a chance that you were a therapist, psychiatrist or a counselor. If badly aspected, it could indicate that you suffered from health problems, be it physical or mental, in past lives or even that you passed away due to that. Maybe you carry some health problems in this current body. For example, you were a full smoker before and died due to that so, in this incarnation, you are asthmatic or have problems with your respiratory system. On a lighter note, Virgo and the 6th house talks also about work, so this could talk about that, in many incarnations, you had to work so hard. Even at the expenses of your own health like it was custom in the lower classes not so long ago.

Libra/7th house: your soul has made a learning voyage surrounding relationships. Through good and bad relationships, forced marriages that ended in either loving or hateful partnerships, your soul has been learning about how to make good and healthy connections with other people without compromising your needs or others. It’s more than probably that many of the people that you encounter in this lifetime have a soul contract or connection with you (karmic, soulmate or even twin flames) and the lessons they give you depends on how well you’ve learned to relate to others. Remember, this is also the house of open enemies so be careful with this. Not everyone has the best interest in you, so if someone step on your boundaries it is ok to detach and move on if its necessary. You don’t need to be in a bad relationship only because your soul feels secure being in the company of others. You are valuable just as you are and deserve to be appreciated too. The only theme here is bring balance. After all, Libra is represented by the Justice card in the tarot deck. A woman with a sword on one hand and a balance in the other, disposed to use the sword to restore the equilibrium if its necessary.

Scorpio/8th house: your soul has been experiencing powerful and sometimes traumatic changes through lifetimes due to Pluto being the ruler of Scorpio. In which area? That depends on the house that the sign falls in. It could be around your self-image, your possessions (maybe you lost all your money or possessions), your family, your education, your friends, your career, your relationships, etc. You’re a private and passionate being that, on the upper hand, learned how to remain in your power despite all the challenging changes that occurred in your life. Maybe you were part of a rich family and lost all the fortune in a bad investment (one of the themes of the 8th house is inheritence). On the downside, this aspect indicates some hidden traumas in the soul surrounding intimacy (maybe a past life abuse or you were a victim of a murderer) and the loss of power (you were enslaved, tortured or lost all your inheritance) and that’s why you tend to be so private and distrustful towards people. On a lighter note, you could have worked in a profession that involved power or managing inheritance such as a banker, manager or leader of a big company or a chief commander.

Sagittarius/9th house: just like the 3rd house, your soul also carries a lot of philosophical o religious wisdom, since these aspects signals an interest in higher learnings and beliefs. You could have been a priest, a monk or a philosopher in a past life. Since the 9th house rules long distance travels, having this asteroid could mean that your soul made long journeys in one or more incarnation. An example of this could be that you were a priest that travelled to teach in other cultures. Another would be that you were a sailor or you immigrated to a different place or you were a lawyer (since it involves a higher learning of the law). Finally, another interpretation of this aspects could be that you incarnated in a very different culture. Your soul remembers being part of another culture and maybe that’s why it’s easier and fascinating to you to learn the culture or language of another place. If you feel interest in a specific culture and time period, that could be a signal that your soul remembers living in that time/place.

Capricorn/10th house: these are the aspects of old souls and public figures. Being Saturn the ruler of the sign and house, it gives, consciously, or not, a heavy sense of duty or responsibility to those who have Alma in these aspects. After all, Saturn is the planet of karma, so is very natural to think that these souls carry a lot of lessons that they’ve learned through difficult situations in different past lives. That’s why they have a very serious, realistic, and mature approach towards life. Even when they are very young. In the 10th house the effect is similar, you also have a sense of responsibility in relation to work or public persona and that’s because your career was a huge theme in past lives. The chosen field that you chose must be aligned with something that your soul feels called to do just like in other lifetimes. In terms of careers, there is a possibility that you were a celebrity, a politician or leader of some sort, a worker of a big company, etc.

Aquarius/11th house: these are the aspects of my starseed people, my geniuses, my revolutionaries, and my humanitarians. Your soul has an outstanding mind in terms of understanding the problems and needs of the collective, this is an ability that you have been developing through lifetimes, that’s why, in part, it makes you a great friend and a huge humanitarian at heart, and, in the other, that’s why many of you fought against many injustices, prejudices and the conservative mindset of the society in past lives. The French Revolution is something that is coming through my mind as an example. For others, you had a brilliant mind that helped you to create outstanding things that changed humanity or the society you lived with. For others, your soul comes from another system or another galaxy. This could be one of your first incarnations on earth and that’s why you could feel different, uncomfortable, or misunderstood on planet earth. If you wonder, why are you here, maybe it's because you have come to raise the vibration of the earth.

Pisces/12th house: these are my mystics, my high vibrational beings, my spiritual group. It is impossible not to connect the higher vibrations or higher knowledge because, in past lives, you’ve been trying to connect with those realms through different methods like meditation, learning astrology, reiki, etc. You were a hermit in search to answer and connect with the higher knowledge of the universe, that’s why you could have been a monk or a priest. Atlantis strongly resonates with these aspects. It’s very probably that you carry, consciously or unconsciously, memories or feelings from your past lives along with psychic abilities. Since the 12th house rules the unconscious, your past life’s memories come when you dream. On the downside, your practices or abilities would have caused you to be persecuted and secluded from the rest of the world or you hide into drugs.

#astrology #asteroid #alma #past life #past lives #reincarnation #astrology observations

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religion-is-a-mental-illness · 11 months

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By: Aaron Kimberly

Published: Dec 18, 2021

Between 1995-2006 I was a part of the butch lesbian community. During those years, despite my life-long and sometimes intense gender dysphoria, I hadn’t given any serious thought to medically transitioning. It wasn’t even on my radar as a possibility until after 2000. The idea of medically transitioning seemed fringe, far-fetched, and risky.

Most of the butches I knew also had gender dysphoria (GD) or rather, Gender Identity Disorder (GID), as it was called then. Many butches I knew in Winnipeg, Halifax, Toronto, and later Vancouver, were strong, stoic people. I admired many of them. I know that their lives weren’t always easy, but they carried themselves with dignity. They had butch “brotherhood” and femmes who adored them. Many were “stone” which meant that their GID made it difficult for them to relate to their female anatomy so didn’t allow themselves to be touched by anyone, or rarely. They were often harassed and abused for being masculine women, as I was. It was often stressful using female public washrooms, because our gender ambiguity made people so uncomfortable. There was a term “butch bladder” to reference the ways we’d avoid using bathrooms in public.

In the early-mid 2000s, more and more FTMs were appearing in the community, alongside the butches. Many lesbian spaces welcomed them, some didn’t. It seemed to me at the time that butches were presented with two options: we could choose to be butches, or we could choose to be FTM “trans guys”. Why people chose one or the other...that was very individual and personal. It really came down to which option solved a problem and made life easier. The problem could be homophobic parents, fatigue from being harassed, differing degrees of dysphoria and bodily discomfort, not understanding what GID is, poor social or occupational functioning, trauma, other mental health challenges like depression or the anxiety that seemed inevitable for us. Some transitioned but still identified as butch women. They chose medical interventions to look more masculine, not to identify as men. Some trans guys said they never had GID at all. I don’t know what their motivations for transitioning were. Some said “political reasons”. There were some who were big fans of Queer Theory icons like Judith Butler and Judith Halberstam. Those women adopted male personas - intentional “female masculinity” - as an expression of Queer Theory, not to be men/male. I chose to transition soon after a gay man was beaten to death in a nearby park.

If kids with gender dysphoria today are anything like who we were 20 years ago, I feel saddened by their trajectory. Others see benefits: Access to medical interventions has been made easier. They no longer have to do a “real-life test” (live their life as the opposite sex for 2 years without medical assistance). They don’t have to go through months or years of therapy and assessment. More is now known about the effects and risks of hormones. The surgeries have improved, are easier to access and now paid for by insurance. (I paid for my own mastectomy out of pocket, and was on the SRS surgery waitlist for 10 years.)

But, what have we done? Have we eliminated all of the conditions for why a butch girl would find their innate masculinity hard to live with? Have we made the lives of butch women better and safer? Have we eliminated homophobic families, communities, employers, clinicians and policies? Are we educating young people what gender dysphoria is, in evidence-based terms, supporting them to integrate that into a healthy identity and self-image? Do we tell masculine girls how attractive they are? Do they have an abundance of healthy role models? Are they fully embraced and integrated into their workforces, educational settings, faith communities… or, are butches still getting weird looks from strangers? Are they still getting yelled at in public bathrooms? Are young, obnoxious young men still yelling slurs out their car windows as they drive by a butch woman? Do gender non-conforming women still fear for their lives in some places? Can they get Brandon Teena out of their heads? Can they travel the world freely? Can they find clothing they like that fits their bodies well?

I’m not convinced we’ve made any real progress at all. I think we’ve just made it easier for people to jump ship, younger and faster, and gave it a different spin. We now call that “self-actualization”. We’ve facilitated a better illusion. We’ve convinced more and more people that the illusion is real. We continue to push for better surgeries. Penile and uterine transplants are on the horizon. Young people are flooding into clinics. They can’t keep up with the demand. Activists have pushed Queer Theory as an explanation for our difference, displacing evidence-based clinical definitions of GID/GD. It’s no longer talked about as a condition that requires treatment but a natural human variation that requires affirmation in whatever form we demand (often life-long medicalization). I’ve travelled that road to its end, and its hurt just as much as it’s helped.

The surgeries available to FTMs right now are awful. A double mastectomy and phalloplasty or metoidioplasty are gruesome procedures to go through. The US surgeon I went to for metoidioplasty boasts low complication rates, but the anecdotal evidence I’ve witnessed (myself and everyone I know who had the procedure there and elsewhere) is close to a 100% complication rate. One guy at the surgical recovery centre I stayed at started to hemorrhage and was laying on the floor unable to reach the call bell when another FTM patient found him and advocated for him to be rushed to hospital. Fistulas and strictures are the most common problem. I chose metoidioplasty because it’s thought to be the less risky of the two options. I immediately developed two large fistulas (meaning that my urethra burst open in two places) that needed additional surgery to repair. I couldn’t bathe or go swimming for a year until those openings were repaired. I have chronic perineum pain, altered bowel function due to changes in my pelvic muscles, and no sensation in most of my chest. When we have complications, local physicians and surgeons don’t know what to do. So we have to wait, and travel to whoever can help.

Listen, I don’t doubt that sometimes medical transition is helpful for people. It’s not my place to say they can’t or shouldn’t. But let’s not sell this like it’s a Disney park ride. The marketing of everything trans is ridiculously misleading. Don’t put sparkles and rainbows over real pain as though that helps at all. It’s insulting.

If we really want to help these kids, we need to make it easier for lesbian kids. Butch kids. All gender non-conforming kids. The quirky and awkward kids. Kids who feel they don’t fit it. Let’s get better at working with parents and preserving families. Be honest about what medical transition is really about. No one really changes biological sex and these procedures are really hard to go through. Why are we putting all of our resources into escaping brutality rather than eliminating brutality? We’re cutting up our bodies because our lived reality is worse. Why do we celebrate that?

Medical transition is but one option for those with GD. We need to reclaim our understanding of GD as a condition so that we can have reality based-conversations and solve real personal and social problems. “Trans” as a concept, masks many underlying issues. A queer theory-based understanding of myself worsened my GD. Medical transition became an addiction. The illusion only works if we’re lucky enough to pass and everyone else plays along perfectly. It’s an exhausting game of whack-a-mole to dodge the reminders of my female past and female biology. How is that kind of dissociation desirable? Some people may benefit from medically transitioning, but we still need a reality-based understanding of ourselves, to keep our feet on the ground.

Our children deserve better. If this sounds transphobic to you, you’re a part of the problem. Owning our reality for what it is isn’t self-hatred. It’s self-acceptance. Having different ideas and a different vision of how to move forward isn't hatred. Hatred was the skinheads who circled around us at the small 1992 Winnipeg gay and lesbian march, long before Pride was a parade. Hatred was the men who drove from the suburbs into Vancouver with the intent to "kill a fag" and murdered Aaron Webster in Stanley Park. I’m well acquainted with phobia. This isn't phobia. This is love.

#Aaron Kimberly #Gender Dysphoria Alliance #butch lesbian #queer theory #gender ideology #medical transition #gender dysphoria #butches #female masculinity #religion is a mental illness

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