#I hate everything about it. I hate being alive. Every fucking second of existence is agony.

[tillitsover]

Real genuine question, is there a way to stop existing as an alter.

#did osdd #dissociative disorder #dissociative system #actually traumagenic #endos dni #I'm not talking about merging. #I hate life? #I hate everything about it. I hate being alive. Every fucking second of existence is agony. #Nobody else in this brain struggles so bad with it. #'You have an important job' well I don't fucking care. #My job is to be miserable. What kind of life is that. #Being a systeen on top of it is a nightmare. #I wish there was a way to ask this without being that edgy idiot teenager but genuinely if there's a way I want to know.

[hana-no-seiiki]

Would you do a second part of Damián x Cat!villain!reader? Or maybe something with a different plot, but I need it too much 😵‍💫

I don’t usually entertain part 2 asks but cause it’s you my adorkable Lucas, I shall. I’m adding the other boys and some wild cards for good measure.

tw/cw: yandere, dick’s part gives me major second hand embarrassment but maybe that’s a me issue, (implied) jason has seggs with your unconscious body (but it’s consensual). damian is aged up but still younger than reader hence the condescending way of speech the latter has for him.

ROOFTOP TALKS W/ THE BOYS

☁️ . . . w/ Dickie Boi

When you were dating it was a lot of you flirting and him asking you to be a bit more professional. And then you promptly reminding him that your profession is being a thief.

And that you were taking that profession seriously by stealing his heart.

Kisses in the rain were pretty much your guys’s thing. As much as your cat heart hated being wet.

When he became Nightwing and after Jason’s death, you guys didn’t break up immediately. Just fizzled out. Long talks about everything and anything became short greetings and small talk until you two officially ended it.

Nowadays Dick tries his hardest to get your attention, he shows off a lot. Ups the romanticness of it all. Brings you all around the city for dates before you two chill on your favorite spot.

Dick felt great. He just spent an entire night out on a date with his first love, some might argue that you’re his only true one too. You two haven’t been able to hang out due to the chaos of life and Jason. But finally he was able to have you for himself for once. No Tim to watch you two through the cameras (he made sure all of those were unavailable), no Damian to stalk you two within the shadows (it took a while, but he managed to convince the big ol’ bat to keep the youngest occupied), and no vigilante business he had to deal with.

There was just one last thing. A kiss. (He wanted sex, to feel you around him again. But considering you two just got back into the swing of things he was willing to wait)

He closed his eyes, and leaned forward.

Only to be met with air.

And then the ground.

“Uhm. Did you just — I mean I know I look cute tonight and all — but did you just try to kiss me, Grayson?” You had only managed to narrowly dodge the action. A little amused by the way he’s currently making out with the floor, but mostly confused and somewhat terrified.

Dick groaned, of all the things to put him on the ground this week. “I thought - I thought we were…”

You looked at him, blinked a few times, and managed to utter out, “Dude.”

☁️ . . . w/ Hubby Toddy

Imma be honest with you. You two bone 80-90% of the times you guys meet.

The only reason that it’s not 100% is because of the danger you two are in for that 10-20%

The vigilante/villain lifestyle and environment isn’t ideal for boning 24/7 y’know.

The reason why you guys fuck so often is cause Cat Villain! Reader being the menace they are only has to remind Jason that he died a virgin for you two to get down to business.

The Batboys are obsessed with proving themselves/ a point in general after all. So you often play them like a fiddle with just a few words.

Aside from that, a lot of your rooftop talks are you being snarky towards each other. Jason asking you to stop risking your life with heists and you vice versa with his vendetta.

Which usually leads to anger fucking but I digress.

You two often snack on the greasiest, unhealthy food while together.

Sometimes you spend hours talking about what he missed while he was gone. Of course he already knows everything. He kept tabs on you and whatnot. But hearing you speak gives him a sense of calm like no other.

Cuddling ftw. Jason adores enveloping you.

He likes doing stuff that proves that you exist?? Like that you’re next to him. That both of you are alive in that moment.

“‘M sleepy.” Your eyelids were beyond heavy at that point. Jason wanted you to be up for every single round, and it seemed like his stamina was endless.

Usually you’d pass out and he’d just continue getting off using you but that night he gave you a challenge. Something about wanting to see the way your pretty eyes as he ruined your insides.

“Too much action for you tonight, kit?”

“Mhm.”

“Go to sleep. I’ll watch over you.” He shifted your body in a more secure position, wrapping his large arms around your form.

“Promise me you won’t disappear?”

“I’m here always.” He let out a deep breath.

As soon as he made sure you were out cold he continued,

“Not even death will keep me away from you, baby.”

☁️ . . . w/ Timsies Whimsies

Most of your hang outs are spent indoors

Otherwise it’d be you hovering over his shoulders as he works on his projects.

Most of your rooftop times with Tim are spent in silence, playing video games, or board games.

Sometimes you two would spend hours playing and voicing cheesy dating sims.

But sometimes you use the time to get him to sleep.

You two are very much opposites when it comes to sleep times. Like if we go full on cat mode here, you prolly sleep off like 70% of your life.

I really shouldn’t be writing this while I’m sleepy as hell shouldn’t I?

Tim had never slept so well in his entire life.

All he remembered before being lulled into dreamland was you singing, patting him on the head, and some laughter before everything went dark.

But now he wishes he never slept at all.

“Is this . . . an edit of us a kids—“

Tim slammed his laptop shut so hard he’s pretty sure he’d broken it.

You looked at him incredulously. How long had you been snooping through his stuff? How did you even manage to unlock it? He made sure it was inaccessible even to Bruce.

“I . . . I read this one fanfic . . . that we met as kids and grew up together.” He confessed.

Yes, Tim gets brainrots over [Cat Villain Name] x Reader / Red Robin fanfics. Could you blame him?

“Honestly that’s pretty cute and wholesome. The other things you have there on the other hand . . . “

“I’ll pay for all of your boba expenses for a year if you forget about this.”

“A decade and I’ll never look through your shit again.”

“Deal.”

☁️ . . . w/ Damie Baby

Up until recently your rooftop meetings have been an even more snarky version of Jason’s with less hatefucking more … hating.

While Dick is more extravagant with how he shows off. Damian is more on the ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about I’m just this awesome’ side of the spectrum.

It took him a while to finally figure out that you being a menace is more of a facade if anything

And boy did it make him get a romantic boner when he found out

Like it went from you teasing him to hell and back to him turning the tables

“Wow, ain’t it past your bedtime, Damie?”

“Not my fault I can’t get a wink of sleep without you beside me.”

“. . .Ah.”

Aside from that you like roping him into playing games and basically all the things he missed out on being trained to be as an assassin.

He in turn does more traditional courting methods on you. Like buying you flowers, having slow dances.

Sometimes you do each other’s henna.

(He definitely is smug about it when other members of the batfam ask)

He often scolds you about reading so much late into the night…and insists he reads everything for you while you sit prettily on his lap

His favorite activity is running his hands through your hair as you lay your head on his lap while he dictates a book out loud. Usually it’s non fiction so that A) you’d sleep faster, and B) he gets his readings for uni in.

☁️ . . . w/ Bruce ig

“Hey, loser.” You purred, appearing from the underneath Batman’s cape.

Without a beat, he replied, “[Cat Villain Name].” and nothing else. He does not move. Doesn’t even make an attempt to seem affected by your antics.

“Awe, I missed you too!” You hugged him tightly and gave a pat for measure.

You were about to let when you felt a weight atop your head.

He was… giving you a headpat? Albeit awkwardly.“Who are you and what did you do to—“

“Treat them well.”

And he disappears.

Hey, wasn’t that your move?

In anycase,

It’s about time that Bruce learnt,

if you can’t beat em, join em.

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere imagine #yandere fic #yandere core #yandere scenario #yandere batfam #batfam #yandere batfam x reader #batfam x reader #batfam imagines #bruce wayne x reader #yandere bruce wayne #yandere bruce wayne x reader #dick grayson #dick grayson x reader #yandere dick grayson x reader #yandere dick grayson #jason todd #jason todd x reader #yandere jason todd #yandere jason todd x reade #tim drake #tim drake x reader #yandere tim drake x reader #yandere tim drake #damian wayne #damian wayne x reader #yandere damian wayne x reader

[helluvapoison]

hey there :3 it’s like 5 am here and I’m being plagued with ✨ideas✨

imagine if Adam had a thing for a demon! reader, like it doesn’t matter if they’re hellborn or a sinner or whatever, he can’t muster up any genuine disgust upon seeing them, and he fucking hates it. And the reader’s not too thrilled either because yeah sure he’s hot under the mask but they can’t really say the same for his personality (bonus if the reader has black feathered wings)

pleas and thank you

Hate Heart

Adam x Demon!Reader

He wouldn’t be opposed to a one night stand with someone from Hell (imho) Hit it and quit it, that’s his motto! Feelings though? Christ on a stick, demon or not, that’s something else entirely

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ

• Adam can’t fucking stand this game of cat and mouse game that he never signed up to play

• It’s not subtle either because there’s no way for you to accidentally bump into him up in Heaven, he’s always coming to seek you out

• He always thought the itch to see you would subside, that eventually you’d leave his system and become nothing more than a faded memory

• Except he couldn’t seem to forget your face— and trust him, he’s tried just about everything you can think of to speed up that process

• Lute would turn on him in two seconds flat if she knew

• Sera would never let him lead exterminations again, she would scold him for not cutting off the infection before it could fester. Was Lucifer not example enough?

• Her threat to send him to you permanently should have scared him enough but it didn’t. Even though he knew she had a point, he already thought of that!

• You’re from Hell, your very existence is the epitome of everything he should hate and be disgusted by!

• And the sentiment was very much mutual

• Adam took extreme pleasure in killing Hell’s inhabitants (which, wildly, isn’t the biggest red flag about him!?)

• Somehow you were excluded from that category and placed in one all on your own. A tomorrow problem that was repeated daily

• “If you hate me so much maybe you should stop saving me, asshole.”

• “Keep bitching, maybe I will.” He growls back with as much venom as he could muster

• His actions scream the opposite. He’d never. The thought alone twists his heart awkwardly, filling him with urgency to make sure you’re safe rather than do what he came down to do

• Much to your dismay, Adam finds you every couple of months. “To make sure you’re still alive,” he claims, but proceeds to hang around for as long as he can

• It’s exhausting, he’s exhausting

• But then he leaves… and you miss him

#hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel imagine #hazbin hotel headcanon #hazbin hotel adam headcanon #hazbin hotel adam imagine #hazbin hotel adam x reader #that got angsty whoops #poiboiwrites

[lvis44]

Freak Like That // LH44

Lewis Hamilton x Y/N

Warnings: SMUT 18+ (Minors DNI), Angst, Kind of Cheating? (depends on how you look at it), Unprotected Sex (wrap it before you tap it), Alcohol, Not Edited/Proofread

Word Count: 8.9k+

Summary: Seeing him again shouldn't be as hard as it is, but the universe has funny ways of making sure you end up back in his arms.

Notes: I'm aware I said this was coming like 3 weeks ago but your girl has her first corporate job that has been much more demanding week by week so I've been busy!! I toyed with turning this into more of a fic so if you're interested in a pt.2 of them LMK. Sweet Escape Epilogue is still on its way but has turned into a bit of a stand alone fic within a chapter, don't hate me, or maybe you'll love me for it. I didn't proofread this and wrote part of it while I was a tad bit drunk, oopsie! Love you all!

I am not a professional writer and all of this is a work of fiction and is strictly for fun. Enjoy! xxx

It had taken everything in you to move on from Lewis. You had done everything in your power to forget him, how he felt, how good he was to you, but the thought of him always lingered. You would have been a fool to ever think that anything could ever truly happen between the two of you, you were mature enough to know it was always just sex, it would always be just sex. That didn’t mean you never fantasized about how it would feel to be loved by him. It was never a relationship between the two of you, there was never any commitment from him. He had been more of a fuck buddy, a sugar daddy in many senses. He was older than you, detached, and loved to shower you with gifts. You only ever had his attention in private, and when you did he made you see stars. Lewis had always managed to unlock something within you that you didn’t know existed, bringing alive senses you’d never felt. He taught you things about your body and needs that you had been so naive to. No one had ever been able to compare to him. Parting from him had been one of the most difficult tasks you had ever been faced with, but you knew the agreement between the two of you wasn’t sustainable, you were only ever destined for heartbreak if you continued with him. You had done so well for the last year, ignoring his texts, doing your best to avoid his heavy presence online. Him being in the same room as you however, was something that you were not prepared for. He looked ethereal, his beige suit jacket showing off just a peak of his chest, enough to force the images back into your head, his tattoos glistening above you as he wears you out. He has one braid hanging perfectly in front of his face, all you can think of is how his braids felt tickling your neck when he would pant dirty words into your sticky skin.

“Y/N? You okay darling?” The voice that came from beside you startled you. When you looked to your side, your boyfriend was looking at you with concern written all over his face.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine, sorry about that, just zoned out for a second.” You try to fake laugh it off, not wanting him to pry.

He continues to look suspicious but doesn’t press any further, instead seamlessly transitioning into a conversation with one of the businessmen standing with him. You find your attention returning back to where Lewis had stood, his attention now fully on you. His smirk is knowing as he drags his eyes shamelessly up and down your body. You have to use every ounce of power in yourself to pull your eyes away from him as one of your boyfriends business partners directs a question to you. You put your fake smile on, engaging in boring conversation as you do your best to ignore the strong presence that is Lewis. You had been worried that one day you would run into him, your boyfriend working in the fashion industry made it almost inevitable.

You managed to stay relatively strong throughout the night, the champagne helping immensely. Lewis had disappeared into the crowd and you had done your absolute best not to look for him. You spent your evening tailing behind your boyfriend, being introduced to random men that you assumed worked in the same circles as him. Your boyfriend kept his hand on your lower back throughout most of the night, the only acknowledgement that you were even really there. He was a fine man, he had taken his time winning you over, taken you on romantic dates, but the spark still wasn’t there, and the arguments were becoming more and more frequent. You knew he cared about you, treated you well, but he was simply the safest option, and he was getting sick of your lack of interest in his work. You were growing increasingly tired of being his arm candy, using you to show off to his business partners. The intimacy lacked passion, nothing matched the raw passion you had with Lewis once upon a time. It wasn’t fair to compare him to Lewis, he was actually there to be your partner, not just a fun time, but it was almost impossible. 

“There’s only a few more people I need to talk to and then I promise we can go.” Your boyfriend whispered into your ear. You couldn’t wait to get out of your heels and be in a quiet room, away from the people faking sincerity in hopes of investments and business opportunities.

You grab another glass of champagne as your boyfriend orders an Old Fashion before once again pulling you along through the crowd of people, evidently in search of someone.

“Ah, there he is.” You hear him exclaim, not yet able to see who he’s approaching.

When you come out from behind him you want to scream, he has approached Lewis, completely unaware of the situation he has just put you in.

“It’s so fantastic to meet you, I’m Brian, we work with a lot of the same people around here. It’s an honor, I’m a big fan.” Your boyfriend extends his hand to Lewis eagerly.

You can’t help but be confused, your boyfriend has never once mentioned racing, you can only assume he’s a fan of his work in fashion, or he’s lying.

“Nice to meet you too,” Lewis responds politely with a small chuckle, returning the handshake before turning his attention to you, “and always wonderful to see you Y/N.”

You want to melt into the earth below you. You can see the devious look in his eyes, blatantly announcing your familiarity, you thank god your boyfriend doesn’t know the depth of familiarity you have with the man in front of you, not yet at least.

“You two know each other?” Your boyfriend asks, confusion covering his face. 

“Oh yeah, we know each other well. Y/N hasn’t told you?” Lewis continues, a wide smile across his beautiful lips. To anyone else it would look kind and genuine, but you know he’s playing at something else, daring you, challenging your boyfriend in the simplest of ways.

“No she’s never-“ Your boyfriend starts before you cut him off.

“I wouldn’t say we know each other well, we’ve just met at things like this before.” You rush out, it’s not entirely a lie, that is exactly how you first met him. Your boyfriend doesn’t need to know the rest.

Lewis sends you a smirk, cocky and mischievous.

“All I can say man is you landed a very talented woman.” Lewis says to your boyfriend, the words falling off his lips in such a tone that your stomach flips.

“She is pretty incredible.” Your boyfriend smiles at you, wrapping his arm around your waist, completely oblivious to the meaning behind Lewis’ words. You can see out of the corner of your eye how Lewis glances down at the action, his jaw tightening momentarily.

Your boyfriend is on a mission, immediately transitioning into talking business with Lewis. You do your best not to undress him with your eyes, opting to look down at his feet throughout most of the conversation. You can feel Lewis glance at you every once in a while, trying so hard to ignore the way his gaze makes you feel. As you hear someone calling your boyfriends name you think you are finally free from the situation.

“So sorry, it sounds like I’m needed elsewhere, it was truly great meeting you, it was an honor.” Your boyfriend says to Lewis, shaking his hand once again before turning to you. You're ready to follow after him, happy to be dragged into yet another boring conversation, “Why don’t you stay here and catch up for a moment, I’ll find you later.”

He doesn’t give you even a moment to object as he presses a kiss to your temple and quickly makes his exit. You both watch as your boyfriend walks away, you in fear of the situation he’s left you in, Lewis in excitement of the exact same thing.

“Soooo,” Lewis draws out, finally looking directly at you, “how have you been?”

“Seriously?” You bite at him, unamused by his behavior.

He just shrugs, taking a sip of his drink, the glass barely hiding his amused smirk.

“What the hell was that? There’s no reason he needs to know anything.” You say, your tone low and harsh.

He just laughs, “There’s no way youre fucking that dude. I doubt that square can make you cum. Not the way I did.”

“Lewis,” You hiss at him, looking around hoping no one heard him, “he’s good to me, leave him alone.”

“So I’m right, he can’t make you cum can he.” His words come out as a statement not a question, so confident in himself, in his knowledge of your needs.

“Untrue, he’s perfectly fine, and he offers so much more than you ever did.” You throw back at him, not happy at his assessment of your relationship, he has no right to assume anything. Even if he’s partially correct.

“He might not break your heart baby, but I doubt he can break your back the way I did.” He’s gotten closer to you, his voice lower, seductive.

You can feel your breath hitch, the familiar smell of him engulfing your senses, his words going to your core unwillingly. He notices it too, the tip of his tongue coming out to wet his bottom lip. All you can think about is how that same tongue has felt in your mouth, all over your body, inside of you, so many times. He chuckles as he watches you get lost in thought, knowing exactly where your mind has wandered.

“He’s gonna be busy for a while, we could relive some old times.” Lewis says quietly, his head gesturing back toward the hall where the bathrooms are.

“Lewis, no.” You say against your will, desperately wanting to follow him mindlessly down the hall and let him have his way with you, but you can’t let yourself do it to your boyfriend.

“Offer stands, always, ya know when you finally get sick of him.” Lewis says casually.

Within moments your boyfriend has appeared at your side once again. You worry that he’s heard something but he seems unbothered, unaware of what you were just offered.

“Vance and I are going to go grab drinks down the street, talk about the contract somewhere a little quieter.” He says to you, ignoring Lewis entirely.

You sigh, realizing just how much longer your night had just gotten, “I really just want to head back to the hotel.”

“Really? You know these meetings always go better when you’re around. You take the focus off of me.” He half complains half laughs.

“We’ve been here forever babe, I really just want to get out of my dress.” You say softly, trying to get out of the boring boys club meeting.

“You’ll be fine, besides how would you even get back to the hotel? I need to have the car take Vance and I and you’re never going to find a cab with all of this going on.” He gestures back towards that large party, his voice starting to sound annoyed.

“I’ll figure something out, I really just want to go back to the hotel, the day has been long enough as is.” You sigh, hoping he lets it go.

“C'mon babe, we’re supposed to be a team.” He continues to try to convince you. 

Never have you been part of his business ventures, only the arm candy that he  brings to meetings when he is trying to show off to someone.

“And we are, I’m just not up to staying out so late tonight.” You say, growing agitated, embarrassed that this conversation is happening in front of Lewis.

“We won’t be out late.” Your boyfriend continues to argue, “And how are you even going to get to the hotel?”

“I’ve got a car coming in just a little bit, I’ll get her back.” Lewis pipes up before you can respond, not looking at you but directing his attention to your boyfriend.

Your boyfriend lets out a frustrated huff before conceding.

“That would be great, I appreciate it man.” Your boyfriend agrees without asking you, shaking Lewis’ hand.

“Anytime, don’t worry, she’ll be well taken care of.” The smile on Lewis’ face is so sweet you could almost believe he is just being polite.

Your boyfriend doesn’t even say another word to you, walking away toward his business partners after patting you on the shoulder.

“He evidently trusts you.” Lewis says, raising his eyebrow at you.

“He has absolutely no reason not to.” You fire back at him, feeling defensive.

“Come on, let’s go get a drink.” Lewis ignores you, wiggling his now empty drink in the air. 

“I thought your car was going to be here in a second.” You say, raising an accusatory brow at him as you cross your arms over your chest.

“I said it would be here in a little bit,” Lewis starts, taking note of your eye roll at his words, “It will be fine, I’ll have you back before Prince Charming gets his drunk ass back to your room.”

“He’s not drunk.” You defend him unnecessarily, making Lewis laugh.

“If he’s getting drinks with Vance, he definitely will be by the time he’s back. Come have a drink with me, I’ve missed you.” Lewis shakes his head, evidently familiar with the man your boyfriend is getting drinks with.

“You’ve missed me?” The words come out of your mouth without meaning to, you’re genuinely surprised he’s even thought of you since you parted ways.

“Yes, of course I have,” He laughs, directing you toward the bar, “I always enjoyed myself with you. I still don’t get why you left.” His voice sounds vulnerable as he lets the last bit slip.

“You know exactly why I left.” You say, mindlessly following him to the bar against your better judgment.

“No I really don’t, you never really gave me an explanation. You just disappeared.” Lewis argues with you, keeping his voice low as he directs you onto a bar stool.

“Lewis, we both know nothing about what we were doing was sustainable. There’s no way you could have ever given me what I need.” You sigh, not wanting to have this conversation, especially not in public.

“And what is it that you need? Some guy that can’t satisfy you? You’re really trying to tell me that you’re happier with him than you were with me?” Lewis continues to push you, waving down the bartender.

“Lewis, I was never with you, and besides that, you have no idea what our relationship is like.” You defend yourself, not directly answering him.

“I think I saw enough to know that you’re not having fun.” Lewis shoots back at you, waiting for the bartender to make his way over to the two of you.

“It’s not about fun, it’s about stability.” You say, trying to stand your ground.

“You deserve both.” Lewis mumbles as the bartender appears in front of you.

Lewis orders for you, not needing to ask what you want, confident in his prior experience with you.

Your mind wanders back to the rare times that you would go out in public with him, hidden in the back corner of dive bars. The two of you getting tipsy off of shitty drinks before falling into bed together. It was rare times like those that made you fantasize about actually being in a relationship with him, dream about what your life would be like with him giggling through kisses as a permanent fixture.

“What have you been up to?” Lewis pulls you out of your thoughts, thankfully changing the subject.

“Just the usual, not much has changed.” You shrug, taking a sip of the drink in front of you.

“Descriptive,” Lewis teases you, “nothing new? How’d you meet your square?”

You can’t help but roll your eyes, “You really want to talk about my boyfriend?”

“I need to know what I’m up against.” Lewis shrugs as if it's the most normal thing in the world.

“You’re not up against anything because it’s not a competition.” You deadpan, annoyed with his confidence.

“Everything’s a competition babe, that’s life.” Lewis laughs, taking a sip of his drink,

You can’t help the way your stomach flips at the familiar pet name, it’s been so long since you’ve heard it fall off his lips, it came so naturally to him.

Somehow you find yourself engaged in a normal conversation with Lewis eventually, discussing his race season and other projects he’s been working on. You’ve always loved to hear him talk about the things he’s passionate about, easily getting lost in his words. You stay with him, enjoying the shockingly easy conversation, indulging in more drinks than you should. It’s not until you see him check his watch do you think about how much time has probably passed.

“So is your car here yet, or are you planning on holding me hostage?” You ask him, filling the momentary silence.

“Not used to many hostage situations that include free drinks,” Lewis laughs, “but we should probably head out front, car will be here soon.”

“Thank you for the drinks by the way.” You say quietly, sliding off your stool to follow him out of the venue.

He just smiles, no words leaving his mouth as he places his hand on your lower back, guiding you out with him. It doesn’t take long before his car is at the curb, his hand not having left your back as he urges you into the car. Despite the multiple seats available, he settles into the seat directly next to you, his thigh touching yours sending electricity through your whole body. You curse yourself for how simple it is for him to draw a reaction from you. 

“So where’s the square got you staying?” Lewis asks, a teasing lilt to his voice.

“Shut up.” You mumble before giving him directions that he relays to his driver.

There’s a large part of you that’s surprised he seems to actually be taking you back to your hotel, expecting him to try so much more before actually granting you your freedom. You can’t help but be slightly annoyed with your boyfriend for putting you in this position, even if he doesn’t know your history with Lewis, the rumors surrounding him should be enough to keep your girlfriend from being alone with him. Even if your boyfriend trusts you, why does he trust Lewis so much?

The drive is mostly silent. Lewis has his arm up over the back of your seat and as much as you want to fight him on it, push him away, you can’t bring yourself to do so, you enjoy the feeling of being so close to him. His body heat is intoxicating in the worst way, you can’t help but relish in the familiar feeling, so used to being cocooned in his arms. You can tell that you’re getting close to your hotel by the familiar streets, Lewis still scrolling on his phone as if he could care less that you’re sat next to him for the first time in nearly a year. Maybe he’s given up, you think. Maybe he’s finally respecting your boundaries. All of that is thrown to the wind when the car begins to slow down. He scooches even closer to you, his head dropping to your neck.

“My offer always stands, I meant it when I said I miss you.” He whispers in your ear before placing a kiss to your throat.

A small whimper leaves you involuntarily, secretly missing the way that his lips feel on your skin. You can feel a slight smirk on your skin as he pulls away, not far. His face comes up, directly in front of yours, his nose just grazing your own. Everything inside of you is screaming at you to get out of the car and not turn back, but your body is drawn toward him, he can feel it too. One large hand finds your thigh, running up the outside of it, just under the hem of your dress. You relish in the feeling of his calloused fingers on your skin for the first time in far too long. His eyes are heavy as he stares at you, hooded and darkened with lust. He leans forward just the slightest bit, ghosting his lips over yours. When you don’t pull back or fight him, he takes it as a good sign. His grip on your thigh tightens as he leans forward and properly connects your lips. The second his mouth is on yours he lets out a deep groan, one that seems to have been locked inside him for a long time. It doesn’t take long for the kiss to deepen, his tongue finding yours mindlessly. His tongue swirls against yours as his other hand comes to find the back of your head, pressing you harder against him. Your hands have a mind of their own, coming up to find the sides of his strong neck, not even thinking, you’ve been in another world since the second his lips found yours. When he finally departs you find yourself chasing his lips, making him peck yours once again.

“Come back to mine, babygirl.” He whispers, out of breath.

You let out a small whimper, your brain clouded by all of the ways you could explore him tonight, let him explore you.

“Yeah?” He coaxes, his head dropping back to your neck, “We can have so much fun babe. Everything you’ve been missing this last year, I promise.”

“Lewis, I can’t,” You just about groan, frustrated but sticking to your guns, “we’ve already crossed too many lines. I can’t do that to him.”

You try to push Lewis away but it’s worthless, his light assault on your neck is welcomed despite your words.

“Yeah, maybe we crossed a line. Why not cross some more? Hmm?” His words are spoken through kisses trailing up your neck and across your jaw, slowly making his way back towards your lips.

“Lew,” You breathe out, pushing at his chest once again, finally he disconnects from you, just barely, “I shouldn’t. I can’t, it’s not fair.”

“No, it’s really not fair is it.” Lewis shakes his head, his eyes darting from your eyes to your lips, a whole different meaning to his words.

“I need to go.” You whisper, moving to get out of the car.

“Hey,” Lewis stops you, a hand on your wrist, “you still have my number, let me know if you change your mind. I’m only a few blocks down.”

You offer him a small smile, not sure how to respond and not able to be in his presence any longer. You slip out of his grasp, closing the door on him as you do. You can feel the heat from where his fingers gripped you, a burning sensation on your skin. You try to shake the sensation from your body as you make your way up to your room. You can hear his car drive away in the background, having to stop yourself from turning around and going back to him. When you arrive back to your room, its empty, your boyfriend nowhere to be found, evidently still out at drinks. You sigh, flopping down onto the mattress. You want to scream. It’s so unbelievably unfair that someone can still have such a hold over you, despite having not seen him in a year. Lewis is addictive, and reintroducing an addictive substance to someone who has just barely become clean is always dangerous.

It’s a few hours before your boyfriend finally returns to the hotel. You’ve long since changed into comfier clothes and are lounging on the bed watching a random show, grateful to finally be out of your heels. When he finally arrives you can tell he’s beyond wasted, just like Lewis had predicted.

“Hey hun.” He slurs, swaying in the hallway as he tries and fails to steady himself.

“Hi,” You giggle, “have a good time with Vance?”

“Yeah,” He laughs back, “woulda had a better time if you had came along though.”

“You look like you had plenty of fun,” You raise a brow at him, “go change and come to bed.”

“I just don’t get why you didn’t want to come, honestly I would have closed that deal so much quicker” He says as he goes into the bathroom 

“I told you I wanted to get back to the hotel, I was tired.” You sigh

“Not too tired to hang out with Lewis Hamilton.” You can hear the anger in his voice and it makes you want to laugh.

“Really? You’re the one who told me to stay and hang out with him, not only that but you trusted him to take me home. How is that my fault?” You’re already annoyed as the words leave your mouth, already frustrated beyond belief in so many ways.

“Jesus Y/N, if I knew getting drinks would put you in such a mood maybe I would have come home sooner.” Your boyfriend says from the bathroom.

You have no idea where his sudden attitude has come from, you refusing going to drinks should not have put him in such a mood.

“I’m not in a mood, I just don’t appreciate you implying that I turned you down just to hang out with Lewis.” You argue as he exits the bathroom, his shirt now off, just in his suit pants.

“I know you didn’t leave that gala for quite some fucking time.” He spits at you drunkenly.

“What are you even talking about?” You ask him, confused how he even knows, not that it should even be an issue.

“You were too tired to come get drinks with me to help me with an important investor but you can stay and have drinks with Lewis Hamilton for another hour?” He accuses you, not taking into account that it’s partially his fault.

“We were waiting for his car so we got a drink,” You defend, “and how do you even know how long we were there?”

“People know you're my girl Y/N. Apparently people find it a bit strange when they see my girlfriend drinking at the bar with one of the most notorious playboys in the game.” His voice is slowly getting louder, putting you even more on edge.

“Oh so you have people keeping tabs on me now?” You question him.

“I don’t need to ask, they just do it. It’s embarrassing Y/N. I don’t need people thinking that my girlfriend is out fucking athletes.” He throws at you, rolling your eyes.

“All that should matter is that you know!” You yell at him.

“Do I?” His voice is laced with venom, a sudden distrust that you’ve never seen from him before.

“Well you certainly fucking should.” You say, crossing your arms over your chest.

“How do you know him?” He ignores your argument, taking a step closer to you.

“I told you.” 

“Yeah you told me how you met him, sure. How do you actually know him, because you seemed to be pretty fucking close.” He fires at you.

Your anger has reached a peak, not wanting to deal with your boyfriends drunken anger, you let the walls down.

“You really want to know how familiar I am with him? Hmm?” You challenge him.

“I’m right, aren’t I?” He scoffs.

“Yeah, he fucked me for a year straight. Best I ever had.” You shrug, your voice venomous. You have let all of your cares slip away.

“Excuse me?” Your boyfriend is seething, your last comment sticking with him.

“You heard me.” You say, your voice eerily calm. 

“You say that and then expect me to believe you didn’t fuck him tonight? How stupid do you think I am?” He sounds almost amused as he asks the question.

“I could have, oh god I could have, I was this close,” You hold up your fingers to emphasize your point, “but I didn’t. Ya know why? Because I’m in a relationship, I fucking you! I couldn’t do that to you. Yet here you are accusing me of going behind your back. You left me alone with him, you let him take me back to the hotel. Why? So you could prove a point about what you think of me?”

“If you were so close to fucking him, why don’t you go do exactly that?” Your boyfriend just about screams at you.

You’ve never had a fight of this magnitude, especially over something like this. Hearing his distrust and anger makes you rethink everything about him. Your mother always told you that drunk words are sober thoughts and you can’t help but feel that in this moment. In that moment you give up, why even try to convince him to trust you, if he thinks you’re going to cheat on him now why would he ever think differently.

“Fine.” You shrug, your voice calm.

“Seriously?” He’s taken aback, clearly not thinking you would act on it.

“You obviously don’t trust me so why not.” You say, not looking at him as you gather your things. You have no real plan about where you’re going to go, sure you are leaving things behind but not caring, just needing to get out of the room and away from his vile behavior.

“Are you fucking kidding me? You’re literally proving my point right now, you’ll fuck anyone who gives you attention. I thought I had managed to tame that shit in you.” He spits, watching you pack your things.

“Tame me?” You whip around at his words, “First of all, I’m not a fucking zoo animal. Second of all, if you’ve never trusted me why the fuck are you even here?”

“Jesus, I thought you could be better, you had so much fucking potential.” He sounds remorseful and it makes you want to scream. How dare he think you needed fixing.

“Fuck you, I’m done.” You say, your things finally zipped in your bag as you put on your shoes. 

He’s still yelling things at you as you make your way out of the room, not caring to stick around to hear what other awful things he has to say to you. You don’t properly breathe until you’re in the elevator, finally sure he’s not following you. That’s when you realize you don’t have anywhere to go, a lump forming in your throat as you think of everything that was said. Mindlessly you take out your phone, hesitating for a moment as you look at Lewis’ number, blocked for so long. You unblock him as you step out of the elevator and into the lobby, walking out to the street as you call his number, praying he’s not asleep. Going to him is probably the last thing you should be realistically doing, but he’s the only person you want to see right now.

“Hey stranger, I knew you’d end up calling.” His voice is cocky through the phone, you can hear his smirk.

“Lew.” You croak out, your tears finally coming to the front.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” He asks, his tone changing drastically, immediately aware that something isn’t right. 

“You said you were staying nearby, can I come over?” You almost want to laugh at how desperate you sound.

“Of course, I’ll send you a car. Are you still at the hotel?” His voice is laced with concern and care and it makes your tears fall harder. It’s ridiculous that someone who had never been emotionally available could care for you more than your boyfriend.

“I’ll walk, just tell me where you are.” You shake your head as if he can see you.

“Y/N, it’s too late for you to be out walking alone, I’d be worried the whole time. Let me send you a car.” He argues.

“I need the fresh air honestly, just tell me where to go. Please.” Your voice breaks at the end of your plea, convincing him not to argue with you more, he can tell he won’t win.

Against his better judgment he finally tells you where he is, offering to stay on the phone with you while you walk. You’re tempted to take him up on it but you need the time to yourself. You’re still not sure why you feel such a desperate need to see him but it’s all you can think of at the moment.

The walk helps your head immensely, your agony switching to anger. Part of you wishes you had just gone back with Lewis when he offered, you would have proved your boyfriend right and still had a good night. If he doesn’t trust you, why be good for him?

When you arrive at Lewis’ hotel, he’s waiting in the door to his suite for you, his suit from earlier still on. He immediately takes note of your scowl and bag, his eyebrows raising. He doesn’t say a word as he steps aside to let you enter the room.

“That fucking asshole.” You say, dropping your bag as you finally turn to face a very concerned Lewis.

“What happened?” He asks you, cautiously approaching you.

“He doesn’t trust me! I could have come here and fucked you hours ago, but no, I stayed in his room and waited for his drunk ass to get back like a good little housewife. What do I get when he gets back? Accused of fucking you.” You let out in one big breath.

Lewis’ eyes widen, a slightly amused look on his face underneath the concern.

“So he accused you of cheating on him?” He questions, still trying to fully figure out what he’s dealing with.

“Oh not only that, he said he thought that he had tamed me, told me I embarrassed him.” You let out a bitter laugh.

“So he’s a square and a dumbass.” Lewis states with a cock of his head, frowning.

“Oh fuck you.” You spit at him.

“I’m just saying, no man in his right mind would ever be embarrassed by you.” He says softly, approaching you to put his hands on your arms gently, rubbing up and down softly in hopes of calming you somehow.

The gentle action makes you want to cry again, fall into him and never let him go. As if he can tell, he pulls you into his chest, holding you tight. You wrap your arms around his neck. You let yourself revel in the feeling of being in his arms, holding you so tight you almost can’t breathe, but you welcome it, you’ve missed it for so long.

“So why are you here baby, to piss him off?” Lewis asks quietly, loosening his grip on you slightly to get you to look at him.

“I don’t even know, I think I just wanted you.” You sigh, embarrassed by how needy you sound.

He smirks, pleased in the knowledge that you may want him in any way shape or form.

“Why the hell are you still dressed up?” You suddenly ask him, confused by how much time has passed since he left the event.

“Had an after party I had to go to, just got back a little while ago.” He shrugs, his arms still wrapped around you.

“So why the hell were you trying to get me to come back with you if you had things you had to do?” You question him.

“If there was any chance in hell you would come back with me I was blowing that party off in a heartbeat, don’t care if I pissed anyone off. Haven’t seen you in ages, couldn’t let the chance slip.” He explains, looking you dead in the eye.

The thought that he would have rather spent his night with you than going out and networking makes your heart clench, it’s something your own boyfriend never would have done, evidently. His admission makes you throw caution to the wind, missing the feeling of being wanted, you pull the back of his neck so you can connect your lips to his. He seems almost surprised for a moment, not expecting anything to happen due to the state you had arrived in. He only hesitates for a moment before responding with full force, his lips fully claiming yours like they’ll never touch another set.

He groans into the kiss, the sound going to your core immediately, its always been one of your favorite sounds. You take your hands from around his neck, pawing at the button of his jacket, desperate to feel the smooth skin and hard muscle he has hidden underneath. The second his jacket is open, running your hands up his torso, reveling in the strength, your lips never parting from his. He pulls back slightly, a cocky smirk spread across his swollen lips, his hands firmly on your backside.

“What do you want, baby?” He questions, his tone knowing.

You whimper in response, trying to catch his lips again as you work to push the jacket off his shoulders.

“Words Y/N, you know that.” He reprimands you even though he is reaching behind himself to pull his jacket off, throwing it over the nearby chair.

“Fuck, I want you, please.” You whine out, annoyed you even have to ask. 

His hands come back to your ass, taking greedy handfuls as his lips drop to your neck, brushing over the skin as he speaks, “You want me to show you what you’ve been missing out on? Remind you how good I can make you feel?”

All you can do is nod as you brace yourself on his large biceps, a panted ‘yes’ falling from your lips. Within seconds his hands have fallen to your thighs, scooping you up to walk you towards the bed in the large suite. He drops you down on the bed, letting you bounce as he stares down at you with hungry eyes. The mood has shifted so drastically since you arrived, the whiplash is making your brain spin. Within moments he’s on you again, his lips hungry against yours as his large hand trails up under your sweatshirt. You wished you were wearing something cuter but the feeling of his hands on you threw every thought out the window. As his lips trailed down your neck you explored every inch of his muscular back under your palms, feeling the way the muscles flexed every time he adjusted his position. Wordlessly your sweatshirt was thrown up and over your head before his lips attached to your bare breast. The moan you let out was something you didn’t recognize from yourself anymore, a sound you hadn’t made since the last time you had him.

Over the course of your relationship with your boyfriend, sex had become more of a chore, something you knew you needed to do to keep the relationship working, it obviously didn't work. Your boyfriend tended to rush through things, chasing his own high with yours as more of an afterthought. Lewis however, he took his time with you, he always had, he would never be done until you were absolutely wrecked beneath him.

Lewis’s lips were trailing down your body, his tongue tracing every inch of skin it could reach. Hot, wet, sloppy kisses being left against every dip and curve of your figure. When he reached the waistline of your sweatpants, his eyes flicked up for a moment, locking with yours. There was a faint question in them and all you could do was nod, bucking your hips up towards him, urging him to take them off. 

“So eager.” Lewis just about chuckles, pulling down your pants and thong in one move.

You can’t help but squirm when his eyes lock onto your heat, staring at you like he’s going to destroy you. His large hand splays across your bare waist, keeping you in place as his other holds one of your thighs out to the side.

“Patience babe, don’t worry, I’m gonna take care of you.” His voice is teasing but you can hear the tension behind his words, he’s just as worked up as you are, the evidence is visible in his dress pants.

He leans down, pressing soft kisses along your hip, making his way further down slowly, much too slow for your liking.

“Lewis, please.” You whimper, hoping he will speed up the process and ease the ache between your legs.

He smirks, locking his eyes with yours as he latches his lips around your clit with no warning. You shriek, the sound turning into a guttural moan as his tongue laps over your nerves. You can feel the stubble of his beard on the inside of your thigh, his eyes still have left your face. You can feel the cocky smirk that spreads across his face as he lowers his face, lapping at your drenched entrance.

“Fuck baby, you really needed this didnt you?” He taunts you, breathless.

All you can do is whine his name as his skilled mouth returns to your core.

“God I missed you, always taste so fucking good.” He murmurs against you.

His tongue makes his way inside of you as his thumb comes to rub at your clit, making your back arch. Finally having him inside of you feels so good, but you need so much more and he knows it.

He pulls his mouth away, his thumb still tracing patterns across your nerves.

“Need you to come for me babygirl, could feel you clenching around my tongue, I know you’re close.” He’s out of breath and when you finally look at him you can see your arousal glistening on his lips.

You writhe on the bed as he presses a finger against your entrance, teasing the slightest bit of pressure before inserting the thick digit deep inside of you. His tongue comes down to replace his thumb against your clit as he slips another finger inside of you, massaging the spongy spot inside of you just right that you scream. The sound rips out of your body coming from deep in your throat as your pleasure courses through you. You can feel yourself soaking Lewis as he laps up your release, humming contentedly, like youre the best meal he’s ever had. You barely have the ability to push him away, too sensitive and he knows it, that cocky smirk plastered across his face as he finally sits back. You barely even register that he’s moved back over you until you feel his fingers on your bottom lip, your own pleasure covering them.

“Open up babygirl, need you to taste just how amazing you are.” His voice is soft yet strained as you let his fingers slip past your lips, swirling your tongue around them. He lets out a soft groan, his eyes locked on your mouth as you put on a little show for him, still half delirious. 

When he finally slips his fingers from your lips he trails them down your chin and across your chest, leaving a trail of moisture that makes you shiver.

“Think you can take more? Hmm?” His lips are near your ear, you can feel the hot air of his voice against your humid skin.

“Please, god please.” You beg him, desperate to feel him again after so long.

“Been dying to be inside of you since the second I saw you tonight.” He admits into the skin of your neck as he works on the button of his dress pants. You attempt to help but its useless, you’re a useless pile of mush at this point.

He moves himself to stand at the end of the bed, finally kicking off his pants before grasping himself in his large palm. Your lips part inadvertently at the sight in front of you. His bare chest is glistening with sweat, making his tattoos that much darker and showing off the prominent shape of his pecs, his tattooed bicep is flexing ever so slightly as he slowly strokes himself, his eyes wandering over your naked body. When you finally trail your eyes down, your breath hitches in your throat. You’ve been with him countless times, but nothing can ever prepare you for just how thick he is, just how long he is. He has a cock that most men would pay to have and he knows it. He notices your staring, one side of his mouth curving into a knowing smirk. You’re sitting up, crawling towards him mindlessly, desperately trying to get your hands on him. You don’t even have time to properly register it when all the sudden you're being picked up like a rag doll and maneuvered onto all fours in front of him. You’re not even sure how he did it, his strength and your delirium making everything happen so fast. Within moments you feel his body pressed up behind yours, his mouth coming down next to your cheek.

“Gonna make sure my girl knows that no one will ever make her come like I do, gonna have you screaming my name baby.” He whispers, his voice sounding like pure sex. Your stomach clenches when he calls you his girl.

You feel him lining himself up with your entrance and all you can do is whimper into the pillow below you. With one hand grasped around his cock and the other a bruising grip on your hip, he takes a second to tease you, giving you the slightest pressure at your aching hole before slipping out and thrusting forward to nudge your clit. He’s leaving you a whining mess before he’s even inside of you and he’s absolutely loving it. He stills momentarily, lined up with you again before thrusting into you all at once. The force makes all the air leave your lungs as you slump even further forward. You hear a loud groan leave his chest and you wish you could see him, see the ecstasy across his face. His large palm soothes down your spine before pushing down, making you arch your hips up toward him even more. He barely gives you a moment before he’s rocking his hips, your body still working to accommodate the size its gone so long without.

“Good girl, you can take it.” His voice is low, demanding yet endearing. He’s the one that taught you about your praise kink, always so vocal about how good you make him feel.

His pace slowly starts to build, his thrusts becoming harsher as he keeps pressure on your back, keeping you just how he wants you. You can feel yourself getting even wetter as you listen to the moans leaving his body, your own sounds being nothing but gasps and whines. He’s hitting the perfect spot, over and over, and you can feel your stomach start to tighten. Rarely have partners even been able to make you come with just penetration, but everything is different with Lewis, it always has been.

“Fuck, already?” Lewis asks, his voice sounding almost amazed from behind you, “Fuck babe, I can feel you clenching my cock already, you gonna come again? Gonna fucking soak me like a good girl?”

His pace picks up, determination behind each thrust as his grip on your hips becomes even tighter. His voice alone is enough to send you over the edge again, the sound of pure sex. He groans loudly as he feels you come around him, working you through it but collapsing over you. He lets your hips go and you're dropping down flat on the mattress as he continues to pound into you from above. You can hear the slick sounds of him fucking into you and it makes everything so much dirtier. You’re moaning his name like it’s the only word you’ve ever learned.

“That’s it baby, just like that.” He coaxes you through a groan.

He doesn’t let up, the new angle making your toes curl as his weight bares down on you. He has one hand on your hip once again while he leans on his forearm next to you. You feel him start to move himself up, hooking your legs over his hips, your back bending backwards for him. He slows his pace ever so slightly, adding more force behind every thrust, making you squeal and grab at the sheets beneath you.

“Fuck, Lewis, I can’t, I-“ You whimper, too sensitive and too fucked out to properly string a sentence together.

“Yes you can baby, I know you can, go ahead and give me one more.” He soothes you, slapping your ass in contradiction to his kind tone.

You blindly reach your hand out behind you, wanting something to ground yourself on. He grabs your hand, giving it a squeeze before pulling out of you entirely. The sudden loss of contact leaves you confused before he’s flipping you onto your back, spreading your legs and sliding home once more. This time he grabs both of your hands, lacing your fingers with his as he braces them next to your head. His pace is still slow but unforgiving. His pupils are blown out and hooded as his eyes bore down into your own that are now teary.

“I got you, m’right here, let go, I know you can.” His voice is strained and you can tell he’s trying to hold his own release off, desperate to feel you come again.

His lips attach to yours, sloppy and wet as he sucks on your tongue. One of his hands lets go of yours as he trails down to your cores, gently flicking at your nerves to feel you clench before settling on a relentless speed that has your eyes rolling into the back of your head.

“Say my name baby, tell me who’s making you feel this good.” His tone is possessive and cocky as he pulls away to stare at you, obsessed with your face as you climax.

You scream his name as your orgasm washes over you, feeling like a tidal wave that has washed away anything but him and the ecstasy youre floating in. You hear him let out a deep guttural groan as his hips falter, trying so hard to fuck you through your own climax but the feeling of you squeezing around him is too much. You feel like you're floating when you feel him twitch inside of you, coming for longer than he ever has with you. You revel in it as he collapses down onto you, a comfortable crushing feeling that makes you never want to leave the bed.

You’re not sure how long you laid there, letting him pepper your neck with sloppy kisses as you tried to stroke his sweaty back, your efforts not the most successful as you felt like jello. You could feel the comforting feeling of him softening inside of you, still so big. You still didn’t feel like you were inside your own body when he finally pulled out and cleaned you up. It wasn’t until he was turning off the light and climbing into bed next to you, still naked, that you really felt human again. As he pulled you into his chest you felt an overwhelming sense of dread, knowing there was no good way for this to end. You were silent, nuzzling into his chest, trying to hold on to the moment for as long as possible.

“For the record, I meant what I said, no man in his right mind would ever be embarrassed by you.” Lewis says, tightening his arm around your waist.

You don’t respond, just press a kiss to his chest, enjoying the scent of him.

“I should know, I fumbled you pretty fucking hard.” He continues, much to your surprise.

You lift your head to look at him, shock written across your face.

“I’ve missed you.” He says, staring into your eyes in the dark room.

“I’ve missed you too.” You admit, laying your head back down to rest on his chest.

“I’ve got some other events to go to this week, come with me.” His words sound less like a question and more of a statement.

“Excuse me?” You look at him again, once again surprised.

“Come with me and let me show you off how you should be. I fucked up once, not doing it again.” His words are confident, sure of himself in every way.

You’re not sure how to respond, elated by the fact that this is exactly what you’ve wanted for so long, and terrified by the same thing. Words don’t come to you, all you can do is stretch up to kiss him, your mouths frantic against each others. His arm tightens around your waist as he pulls you up to lay on top of him, your legs falling around his waist. You kiss him mindlessly, brain dead at the feeling of his lips.

“Like I said, my girls gotta be taken care of.” He says against your lips as he moves you to slip himself inside of you once more.

As you slide down onto him once more, feeling him fill your heart and your core, you know no one else will ever be good enough for either of you again.

#lewis hamilton #lvis44 #lh44 #lewis hamilton fanfic #sir lewis hamilton #lewis hamilton imagine #lewis hamilton x reader #f1 x reader #driver x reader #f1 drivers #lewis hamilton smut #lewis hamilton one shot #lh #team lh44 #formula 1 #formula one #lewis hamilton angst #lewis hamilton x you #f1 fanfic #f1 x you #f1 fic #f1 x y/n #f1 imagine #Spotify

[orangepeetals]

ACURRUCAR ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა (pt1)

(playlist for a star series)

PEETA MELLARK X F. READER.

pt2

summary: You n’ Peeta have been best friends since you were kids, you win the Hunger games once n’ you’re a mentor now.

a/n: i speak Spanish so the story was originally written in Spanish and then I translated it into English, plz don’t be rude if there is a mistake

You and Peeta were inseparable, they knew each other for as long as you remembered. When they were at school and they were little, you never talked to him until you defended him from some children who were bothering him because of the marks of the blows he received from his mother, you didn’t know what caused that feeling in you but you just couldn’t stand how they were intimidating him, you took a couple of blows too but they never bothered the bread boy again, since then, he followed you as if he were a puppy.

They grew up together, they suffered together, Peeta did not exist without you, nor you without him, they were for each other in every possible way, they were simply soulmates.

When you were 15 years old, ur name was selected as a tribute to the hunger games, every day you thought about it, Peeta clung to you while he drowned in tears, you remember how he apologized to you for not being able to do anything and how he begged you to stay alive, you were going to do it, you could not die, not seeing Peeta suffer in this way, you knew that he would not stand it and he deserved to live a beautiful life with you.

It took you a while to realize it but you knew it that time they were by a lake in district 12, it had been a couple of months since you had survived the hunger games with only strategy. The sky began to look like a soft orange, the breeze hit his blond curls while his cheeks were pink, you could see his eyes shine and his hands tremble as he approached your face, you felt the warm touch of his lips against yours and you thought that you would melt at that moment, Their hearts became one and sealed their love with the sunset, he loves you with every part of his being and you could give your life in exchange for his without thinking about it.

You would really give up your life in exchange for his, you would live for Peeta and you would kill for Peeta if you had to.

You would really do it.

You were on the train together with your mentor Haymitch watching the reapin, you hated the games as much as Abernathy did but you had to know who would be the poor children who would have to train this year, it was the second year that you had to be a mentor since you won the hunger games, both times without any success, it was difficult for someone from district 12 to win, in the whole history of the hunger games there were only three of them and only Haymitch and you were alive, you were looking out the window until you saw how a girl volunteered as a tribute for who seemed to be her sister, tears slid down your cheeks when you saw the scene, that girl had the courage they needed, that feat made you believe that this year they could achieve it, you stood in front of the tv while Haymitch was still living something strange sitting on the couch, now it was the turn of the male tribute.

���Peeta Mellark”

Fear and despair consumed your body, your legs trembled so much that you fell to the ground while you cried inconsolably, you put your trembling hand in your mouth to drown a cry of anguish, this was not happening, it was not happening again, you knew that sometimes they tricked the draws to get people close to other winners to make the things more interesting but you always made an effort to hide Peeta from the public eye and that no one knew that they were a couple, you did not want to expose him to anything but it was happening, they could not take the love of your life, they could not take your Life partner, to your soulmate, to the arms that protected you every time something distressed you. You hated everything, fucking capitol, it didn’t matter anymore, now you and your mentor were going to have to send two boys to death again and this time one of them was the person you loved the most on the planet.

“Oh, shit... this is fucked up” Haymitch’s voice was rough, you could feel the pity in her. His hands lifted you off the floor and put you on the couch while he knelt at your height, hugging you.

“N-no i don’t understand... why him?! No one in the capitol knows about him, I don’t think he’s just so unlucky... Haymitch please, I need you to help me!” Your voice broke more, you hugged Haymitch tightly as he tried to calm you down. “We’ll see what we can do, remember that it’s not just him” The man was right but nothing mattered, nothing could matter to you more than Peeta.

“Haymitch, I’m sorry for that girl but it’s not about just anyone, he’s not just another boy who will die, it’s Peeta Mellark! I could sell my soul for never hearing that name come out of Effie Trinket’s mouth, you know Peeta, you know it’s everything to me” Your body trembled with every word you gave, you felt dizzy, you wanted break everything, Haymitch nodded to your words and you broke into tears again, suddenly everything went black.

You woke up looking at the ceiling of the train room, you were still dizzy, possibly you had fainted from stress, you were still somewhat bewildered until you heard a familiar voice from the dining room car, you got up so fast that you fell to your knees again, your body was weakened, you were going to cry again until you saw him almost run to your room, his hair was disheveled now and his eyes lacked shine, you gave him a look and you just exploded in tears again, you couldn’t believe that he was on that fucking train, that he was now involved in this.

“I’m so sorry, Peeta, I’m so sorry, it shouldn’t have been you, this is possibly my fault, they must have discovered it somehow” The words came out choppy and weak, they denoted your suffering. Peeta knelt with you as he took your hands, you saw how his tears fell, it broke your heart to know that he was holding back.

“Hey, it’s just the odds wasn’t on my favor this time, it’s not your fault, I’ll get out of this anyway and we’ll get married, did you hear me?” Your heart beat for the blond’s words, you hugged him tightly and your lips looked for his with desperation, you wanted to feel him close to you, you didn’t want him to leave, you were afraid.

The plan was this, Peeta would be madly in love with Katniss Everdeen, the girl who had volunteered, she wasn’t exactly a very nice girl and you knew that she was likely to hate you, she knew that you were going to prioritize Peeta’s success over anything and you didn’t blame her for hating you for that but you didn’t care either, at this moment you wanted her dead no matter how sad as that was.

Peeta confessing his love for Katniss in the interview, somehow you felt jealousy in your stomach even if everything was a lie, you wanted all this to end soon, you wanted to go home with Peeta, with the interviews you knew that they were at the gates of the arena, since the day of the reapin you had not eaten or slept well, the only thing you had eaten in those days had been by Peeta’s plea, now you understood his pain the day you had to enter that damn arena and for the same reason, you knew the terrors involved putting a foot in that arena, there was no turning back, Peeta had to live.

———————————————

💭pt2 here!!!

#peeta mellark fluff #peeta mellark x reader #tbosas #the hunger games #peeta mellark #katniss everdeen #Spotify

[kitthepurplepotato]

Chapter 11 - Katsuki has shitty feelings.

Summary: Katsuki has a crisis. That’s the chapter. Oh, and some Kirishima POV, because Katsuki’s best bro deserves some screen time.

⚠️: Swear words, Katsuki talks about his third leg.

First Chapter Master List

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

“I want to stay here forever…”

Bakugou Katsuki is a lone wolf. He doesn’t need another human being to be able to exist; he lives for his job, for the role of the Number Two Hero and that’s all Katsuki has ever wanted to achieve in his life (Well, he wanted to be the number one hero not the second, but that ain’t gonna change until Deku is alive), so honestly, he should be content with what he’s got.

Young Katsuki would be thrilled to hear about his current life; he’s loaded enough to buy a fancy ass apartment; actually, scratch that, he’s loaded enough to fucking build his own agency and his own motherfucking apartment. Katsuki saved Japan from extinction at least 500 times in the last ten years, he gained the respect of the public at the humble age of 16 and he’s also really fucking good looking, just ask the public. And the photographers of Vogue. Sure, he has a bunch of scars all over his body, but Katsuki is proud of every single one of them; he thinks they look sick, hot and sexy.

He also managed to grow a decent-sized… third leg. It’s not the biggest in the whole world but it has a pretty shape. It’s really sophisticated and while Katsuki has no idea about what the other gender likes, he’s quite sure he could get at least a million followers on a certain website with his neat little brother.

Wait, where was he going with this shit?

Oh yeah.

Bakugou Katsuki does not give a single flying fuck about other people. He doesn’t need them, he doesn’t want anyone in his personal space. Steven is enough of a bother already with his constant tapping on his window at 5 fucking AM, begging for food or just in need of attention or some shit. Katsuki might be perfect, but he can’t speak pigeonese. He’s not proud of this fact and trust him if he says he’d tried.

So if this Katsuki guy is the perfect example of a successful bachelor… THEN WHY THE FUCK DOES HE FEEL LIKE THE WORLD IS ENDING WHEN HE THINKS ABOUT THE BLOODY WOMAN LEAVING HIS FUCKING HOUSE?!

Katsuki is literally thinking about breaking both of her legs right now just to keep her in his flat for a bit longer. A few more days… weeks… months… years…

Okay, this is just ridiculous. This isn’t him. This guy must be a pathetic excuse of a doppelgänger.

Katsuki stares at his own reflection in the mirror angrily, hoping to scare the guy on the other side, but he doesn’t budge.

Fuck.

“Uhm… are you practicing your intimidating stare?” The woman of his fucking nightmares waltzes into the room.

Y/N has been almost perfectly healthy for three fucking days now. She’s dead tired by the end of the day but everything is perfectly fine with her otherwise.

Why the fuck can’t she be a normal fucking person and take her sweet time getting better?

To be honest, it’s probably Katsuki’s fault for spoiling his woman to death from day one.

This whole crisis is also her motherfucking fault by the way; the way she mumbled that fucking sentence to Katsuki, planted the seed in his heart then watered it with kisses and sweet, soft touches, then the fucking flower bloomed in Katsuki’s chest and he hates the way it suffocates him right now, two days before the day of doom.

“I was daydreaming about breaking some bones.” Katsuki admits as he moves away from the damned mirror nonchalantly.

“If you miss breaking bones that much I can go home now and then you can go back to work. I’ll be fine.” Y/N gives Katsuki that damned smile he hates so much; she’s clearly missing the point here which isn’t a surprise considering he haven’t said a single fucking word about his stupid-ass feelings, but it still makes Katsuki mad that Y/N can not read his fucking mind.

Well… technically, she probably can but it would be considered an invasion of privacy and Katsuki would hate that.

But just this once… can’t she just… like… understand his feelings without actually understanding them? Just this once? Pretty fucking please?

“Fuck no.” Katsuki answers without hesitation. “Put your ass back down on the sofa, you are supposed be resting!”

“I’ve been sitting on my ass for 5 fucking days, Katsuki!” Y/N whines, of course she does, and for some fucking reason even her annoying whining is fucking cute. Katsuki hates it.

“You wanna do something? Yeah?” Katsuki pushes Y/N right through the door and he doesn’t stop until her back hits the wall. Katsuki takes her hands in a quick motion, pulls them both up and pushes them into the wall; not hard enough to leave a dent or injure anyone but just enough for Y/N to not be able to do jack shit about it. “Get out of this then.”

Y/N is otherworldly as she licks her lips with an evil smirk on her face; she looks menacing and evil but also really fucking hot.

“Challenge accepted.” She goes for the grand prize right away; his dick. And not in a good way. Call Katsuki a genius because he saw that move coming; he moves his crotch out the way and pushes Y/N’s shins into the wall with only one leg. “Are you impressed with yourself by winning against someone who hasn’t trained for more than a year?” Y/N is a sore loser. Katsuki’s kinda into that.

“Wow, mind your fucking attitude, weakling.” Katsuki smirks; he pushes closer and leaves a chaste kiss on Y/N’s lips. Apparently, he pushed the big red button somewhere inside her with this because Y/N’s hand becomes transparent for a few moments then it’s Katsuki’s back that hits the wall next.

From this point… things happen really quickly.

The hallway becomes an impromptu training room, then they move towards the living room and that’s when shit gets real; having two stubborn bitches in a room without any way to burn some energy was probably not the best idea, or at least that’s what the poor coffee table thinks when it gets broken in half by Katsuki’s massive back as Y/N sends another cotton candy colored explosion towards him.

“You are dead meat, bitch!” Katsuki yells and he really hopes his beautiful sofa will be able to take his next hit, otherwise he might start crying.

It takes them a several minutes or maybe even hours to stop their shenanigans; Katsuki and Y/N ends up sprawled out on the feather covered sofa, fighting for their lives with every single breath. They can’t help but stare at the mess they’ve made; there are random books on the floor as few of the shelves gave up on life after Y/N threw him into the bookshelf, there’s broken mug shattered into pieces right on top of Katsuki’s favorite white rug, the walls are singed all over and he’s quite sure they broke one of the doors on their way to the living room. Hopefully, it wasn’t the toilet one.

“What have we done.” Y/N mutters quietly, still half dead.

“We are going shopping tomorrow.” Katsuki mutters back with a content hum.

Fuck, Katsuki swears this was better than sex; he has a hunch he will change his mind about that when he gets to that point with his girlfriend though.

~•💥•~

A few hours earlier…

Kirishima is a cool bro when it comes to his best bro, Katsuki.

It doesn’t mean he’s not concerned for his well-being after not seeing him for a several days; he knows his best buddy is only a hallway away but Kirishima didn’t feel too welcome in his lair last time he’s been over as he’s almost fucking died by the hands of a jealous Katsuki so he decided to give his bro some space.

It’s absolutely fine. They are both adults, they have their own lives and all that jazz but…

Fuck it, Kirishima is not a chill bro right now, not at all. Honestly? He’s never been chill. You remember when Eijirou ruined Katsuki’s first kiss at the wedding? Yeah. Eijirou is an absolute mama bear when it comes to his favorite people, but he really did try his best until today.

Why today, you ask?

There are extremely weird sounds coming out of Katsuki’s flat. His best bro doesn’t know about this but every time he leaves his kitchen window open, he can hear basically everything from his office.

Don’t ask him what kind of things has he heard before. He will take that information to the grave with him.

First, he hears grumbling; that’s normal, just Katsuki being his good old grumpy self. Then he hears a bunch of loud knocks. Then something breaks. Only a few minutes after that, something shatters on the floor.

Needless to say, Kirishima is extremely concerned. What if he’s in danger? What if he’s hurt?

Well, technically, there is no way anyone can attack Katsuki in his home; there is a CCTV all over the place as Katsuki’s flat is a part of the agency building and they even put one on Katsuki’s window in case someone tries to break in from there.

Eijirou is also concerned that maybe… maybe he’s doing something with his missus that Eijirou is definitely not supposed to see, hear or be a part of.

He already ruined their first kiss, he doesn’t want to ruin their first… well… that.

So Eijirou waits.

He’s a patient man.

When the weird sounds subdue, Eijirou takes a deep breath and makes his way to Katsuki’s front door; whatever they were doing, it must be over and he was even nice enough to give them some time to take a breather, or to cuddle, depends on the actual situation.

He knocks. Three times.

He waits. Patiently. Like a gentleman.

He waits for an eternity or to be exact, five whole excruciating seconds before he barges into his best bro’s flat without any hesitation.

“What the fuck?!”

That’s all Kirishima’s able to say. The room is a mess; 90% of the furniture is broken or singed, there is a dent in the wall, Steven somehow ended up inside the flat and he’s happily munching on a spilled bag of nuts on top of the broken coffee table. The only piece of furniture that’s in tact is Katsuki’s fancy ass sofa on which Katsuki currently lies on, his skin shining with sweat as he tries to wiggle into a more decent-looking position.

Katsuki doesn’t like to be stared at so it doesn’t take him long to get out of his weird, half dead state and start yelling.

“The fuck are you staring at?!”

Kirishima doesn’t answer that question. He’s a really pliant man and usually lets Katsuki get away with making him feel stupid even if he’s right, but not today.

So Kirishima stares. He just stares and says nothing. There is a sound coming from the bathroom; Y/N is probably taking a shower which means she is NOT FUCKING DEAD, thank god.

“Stop fucking staring, we were sparring and things got out of hand. No fucking biggie.” The blonde even rolls his eyes, probably thinking this whole situation is ridiculous; which it is, but not in the way his best bro thinks so.

“You are a pro hero.” Kirishima mutters with a deadpan face. “You live in your agency’s building. You own a fucking gym. A gym that’s 2 minutes away from your flat, just at the end of the hallway.” Katsuki looks at Kirishima with an unfamiliar look, like he’s been caught even though Kirishima has no fucking idea what did he say that made his friend feel so cornered. “You look constipated.” Eijirou decides to change tactics and ignore the mess around the living room; he sits down next to his best bro, ears open and ready to listen to whatever is bothering him right now. Katsuki sighs then looks at the bathroom door; the constant flowing of the water inside is enough for him to finally speak up.

“I tried to prove that she needs more time off but I only managed to prove that I’m really fucking wrong.”

For some reason, there is pain in his best bro’s eyes and Kirishima hates that; he hates to see his loved ones in agony, he hates when things are not going right for them, he would give up on all his happiness for the sake of his best buddies even though he doesn’t have too much to give up on.

Fuck, that was a really uncharacteristic thought, wasn’t it? Oh well, welcome to Kirishima’s real life. He’s really lonely, goddamnit.

“That doesn’t sound like a bad thing, bro.” He looks at his best friend questioningly, not really understanding the pain behind his crimson eyes. Katsuki makes that constipated face again, and that’s when it clicks. “You don’t want her to get better.” Kirishima says and he swears Katsuki’s soul leaves his body for a second then it barges back into to him, now fueled with anger, so he decides to continue with his train of thought. “You are scared shitless that she’s gonna leave you once she’s back in business.”

“She’s not gonna dump me because of that you shitwit.” Katsuki grumbles but by the look on his face, Eijirou is really close to the truth. Ahh, okay, Eijirou understands now.

“It’s really fucking hard to be alone once you get used to the company, trust me, I know.” Kirishima gives Katsuki a knowing, sad smile. “But it’s only a matter of time before this becomes your new normal. Just give it some time, bro. I know you want to get down on one knee and seal the deal but don’t rush this; enjoy the small things and keep the big ones for later, buddy.” Kirishima grins and this time, his grin is real; it doesn’t mean he’s not dying from loneliness still, but that’s his own problem, not Katsuki’s.

“Do not fucking patronize me, Shitty Hair!” Katsuki yells but Kirishima can see how thankful his bro is.

“Come on now, I actually managed to say something smart this time, let me have my moment!” Kirishima retorts, fake-offended.

“Stop talking about yourself like you are just an idiot extra. This is why no one takes you seriously.”

Damn, that arrow went right through his heart. Thankfully, Y/N chooses the right time to get out of the shower; she looks at the two men with a fond smile before her eyes wander to take in their environment; Kirishima can see the exact moment when Y/N realizes how much they fucked up by sparring in their own home.

“Need a hand with cleaning this shit up?” Kirishima grins happily, extremely excited to see Y/N so happy and healthy again.

“I would like to be nice and say it’s fine but bro…” she giggles and looks at Kirishima like he’s the savior of the century.

Kirishima might not have any self-confidence but there is one thing that makes him feel like his existence wasn’t just a waste of time and space and that’s the fact that he is the reason his best bro found the love of his life; it all started with a prank and ended up changing their whole lives completely and none of this would have been possible if Kirishima doesn’t hire “the Menace” all those months ago. Kirishima can’t be happier to experience this beautiful love, even if he’s not the one actually experiencing it.

Maybe one day… he’ll find his own soulmate, but for now… he’s just glad to be surrounded with all this happiness. It kinda lifts his spirits up, you know? Seeing his friends happy like that. That’s enough for him to be able to keep smiling, even when the world crumbles in front of him. If you can’t enjoy the small things you don’t deserve the big ones - is what his mother said to him when he was 13 and depressed. He needs to make sure to thank her for that advice the next time they video chat.

…Next chapter!

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Potato ramble:

- Almost on time, yay!

- Do you ever feel like you love someone so much you want to beat them to pulp? Bro, mood. (IN A SPAR NOT IN AN ABUSIVE WAY DON’T CANCEL ME)

- Yes, I’m sleep deprived again. Waking up at 5 am for 3 days in a row is my own personal nightmare but at least I had time after work to write this chapter and 2 Deku chapters so… worth it, man. (Btw, the next Deku chapter is coming on Saturday on Sunday!)

- I work in retail and it’s Christmas season so if the chapters won’t come out as quick in December, I’m sorry. I’m doing more late shifts which means I won’t have time to write in the afternoon so… we will see how it goes.

- I wanted to show Kirishima’s POV in this chapter because I really want him to have a spin-off in the future with his own reader! I actually have 2 chapters ready but I won’t post it until I finish the whole thing because I definitely can’t write and post 3 different stories weekly haha.

- I hope you guys are okay and still enjoying this series! Please send me your thoughts so I know it’s worth it to push myself and do this weekly! Cheers 💜

TL: @sixxze @iwannahaveaprettyaesthetic @hanatsuki-hime @cloroxisadelectabletreat @cheesenmax @coffeent @smolsleepybat @therealpotatobish @qardasngan @canarystwin @unofficialmuilover @nanamomo1 @mikestuffffs @p4ndawrites @yao-ai

#bnha x reader #mha x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou x reader #bakugo katsuki x reader #bakugou x self insert #bakugo x you #shenanigansbypurplepotato #bakugo x reader #bakugou katsuki #pro hero dynamight x reader

[undertheopensky]

Memento

Whumptober Day 22: Glass Shard

Characters: Four, Sky, everyone else is there

Trigger warnings: Self-harm, it’s unintentional but it’s there, minor nudity, panic attacks, a special kind of unreliable narrator, many bad decisions are made

Read on Ao3!

-----

The portal looks like any other. It’s only as he steps through that Four registers something – off – as his awareness stretches and spirals and f r a y s

They’re scattered in the void between stars, drowning and endless, flecks of insignificance against a being so much greater that the scale of it is lost to them.

OUTSIDE EQUIPMENT IS FORBIDDEN.

Their body doesn’t exist right now. It’s so easy for the entity to strip them down to their essentials, their skin and their blood and their bones, leaving everything else behind in the void. Peeling away everything that isn’t them, their sword, their tunics, the cord at their throat –

No!

In this moment-between-moments they’re barely a spark of thoughts, a soul in potentia, and every fibre of their being curls tight and defensive against the gentle tug. Over their heart, they wrap threads of lightning and fire around a faint and faded glimmer. They resist.

The entity tugs again.

No no no don’t take it please don’t take it I can’t lose it I can’t lose him I can’t –

The entity… pauses.

They cling tighter. I won’t let you take it.

ALL OUTSIDE EQUIPMENT IS FORBIDDEN.

They keen in soundless protest. Mine-his-only-thing-left-grief-and-horror-and-mourning–

…ALL OUTSIDE EQUIPMENT IS FORBIDDEN. BUT A TRINKET THAT GRANTS NO ADVANTAGE… THAT, I CAN ALLOW.

And they’re flooded with relief a split second before they’re flooded with sound and light and ow.

Everything always tingles for a few seconds, after teleportation. All his pieces realising they’re still alive, registering protests about the sand beneath him, the chill of the air, the ache in his tightly-clenched hand –

“What the fuck –”

“Who took my rings –”

“WHERE IN DIN’S NAME ARE MY PANTS?!”

Everyone else is discovering they’ve been stripped of their equipment and are reacting accordingly. Four sits up slowly, flexes his throbbing fingers just enough to check –

A thin cord tugs at his neck; razor edges bite into his palm. The necklace is safe. He didn’t lose it. It’s safe.

He shudders out a sigh, hot and cold playing over his bare skin. After the panic attack, all of them slammed together in united desperation, everything feels kind of muffled. There, but unimportant. Even everyone’s noisy agitation isn’t worth responding to – no one is missing, no one is hurt, they’re just upset. They don’t need him for that.

“Four – shit, Four, you’re bleeding–!”

He realises what they’re reaching for almost too late. “No!” he yelps. “No don’t touch it it’s mine don’t take it no no no–” The sand is cool and slippery under their feet as they scrabble back. There’s a wall, there’s a corner, there’s nowhere to run so they huddle instead, curled protectively around the hand holding his necklace and keening high and panicked.

“Don’t take it,” he gasps, “please don’t.”

“It’s okay,” someone soothes, “it’s okay. I won’t take it. I’m just worried about your hand. It’s bleeding; are you hurt? I’m not going to take anything from you. I just want to see your hand. Do you think you can do that?”

Panting, Four peeks out of his defensive ball. Sky is there, not too close, crouched far enough away to give him some space. His tentative smile widens when he sees Four looking back at him.

“I promise I won’t take it,” he repeats. “Can you take a deep breath for me? Please?”

Aware he’s being handled and annoyed by it, Four obeys only out of spite. Breathing the full depth of his lungs hurts. It takes a few gasping starts to get all the way down, and by then the green-grey panic has faded from the edges of his vision.

“I hate that this shit works,” he says in a sapphire-tinted growl.

Sky is infuriatingly patient. “If it didn’t work, we wouldn’t ask you to do it. Do you think I’d be able to take a look at your hand now? Please?”

As the adrenaline fades it is starting to hurt. And… it’s Sky. He… they trust Sky.

Mostly, indigo murmurs.

Slowly he uncurls his fingers, wincing crimson as the pain flares. Blood runs down his bare arm. It’s still a struggle to let go enough to switch the blood-streaked pendant to his other hand. His heart drops into freefall for the instant it takes his fingers to close, only steadies when the edges bite just enough to register. Only then does he let Sky take him by the wrist.

Welling up from the ragged cuts, blood drips to the sand; Sky frowns in concern. “Some of these look deep… does anyone have a potion? Bandages, even? I seem to have misplaced my kit…”

“No,” says Wild, grimacing. “It’s… I’ve only ever seen one of these before, but the shrine keeper takes everything as you come in. Weapons, equipment, armour.”

“Fucking clothes,” Legend mutters.

“You don’t even wear pants to start with, Legend,” says Twilight.

“That doesn’t mean I want to go naked!”

“Magic’s probably still on the table, if you have the strength for it.” Wild shoots Hyrule a hopeful look.

Without meaning to Four tenses when Hyrule gets close.

“I’m not going to take it from you,” Hyrule says, repeating Sky’s words from earlier.

Four flushes with dull embarrassment. “Sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry for scaring you.” Moving more slowly, Hyrule carefully lays his fingertips on Four’s bleeding hand. They start to glow, a gentle spring green, and Four watches the self-inflicted cuts fade away, leaving smears of blood behind.

“Thanks,” he says. Then, to avoid the inevitable questions, he forces himself to stand, looks straight at Wild, and ploughs onwards: “So, how do we get out of here?”

“Well, assuming this is some kind of shrine, it could vary. Sometimes they’re… moving puzzles. Like, you have to move a ball down a path, but there are lasers in the way that will knock you into a pit if you don’t block them somehow. Or you have to reach a high area but there’s no ladder, but there are things that you can pile up into like a really lopsided set of stairs. Other times they’re combat trials – you have to defeat a certain monster, or a group of monsters, to make the final door open.”

Wind makes a noise of understanding. “Oh, so it’s just a dungeon then. Cool.”

Wild frowns. “I… dunno? You guys always made dungeons sound, like, super drawn out. These are like. Two, maybe three tasks, and you’re done. The steals-all-your-shit shrine was the worst for that alone but it was also a combined combat-puzzle thing. I guess you didn’t have to fight the monsters to get the balls, but it was a lot easier carrying them around if you didn’t also have to dodge arrow fire.”

“And you did this without armour or a sword?” says Warriors, somewhere between aghast and impressed.

“I broke a lot of sticks,” Wild agrees. “I would have given so much for even the crappiest sword, but I’ve never been able to get anything past the shrine keeper.”

“Thought you said you’d only seen one of these?” Legend runs his fingers over his knuckles again. It’s an unconscious motion, missing his rings.

“Well I ran the first time, didn’t I?” says Wild reasonably. “Panicked and ran for it. When I got far enough away the monk gave me all my shit back. I tried a couple times to sneak stuff in, throw it from the raft or whatever, but no dice. How’d you do it, Four?”

Four’s hand tightens. Hot blood starts to seep into the spaces between his fingers, something sharp like panic coiling around his heart.

“Steady, Four,” says Sky. “Deep breaths. Shit, you’re bleeding again – Wild!”

“I’m sorry! I was just curious!”

Four wants this over with. Why can’t they just leave them alone, fuck, they’re always asking and poking and so goddamn nosy, they never let things go, he can see their burning curiosity and knows what they want, he can feel it pressing in on his heart –

If he doesn’t think about it too hard, the words can stumble out. “I felt it – and – I fought it.”

Legend frowns. “You fought it for your necklace? Why not your sword – hell, your shirt?”

“How did you even feel it?” Wind demands. “One second we were walking into a portal and the next we’re stripped to our skivvies! There was no time!”

“Time’s more flexible than you think,” they say absently. Their fingers shift, making glass cut twilight-sharp, and their heart steadies.

“When the portal – when we entered the shrine – there was a moment where – Wild called it the shrine keeper – I – felt it. Taking everything away. Bag. Sword. Clothing. But –” his hand twitches again. Sky hisses as more blood hits the sand. “I couldn’t let them take this. It’s the only thing I have of my best friend.”

The words fall from his lips in blood red and bruise purple and he meant to say them but he didn’t and he regrets them but he doesn’t. The pendant is important, they can’t lose it, they need the others to understand that –

Their mind turns inward. What if they hadn’t – convinced them? What if the shrine keeper had taken the fragile shard of glass –

Give it back! It’s like an echo of a memory, too-sharp and too-clear. Please give it back, please!

Their fingers tighten. Pain swells, drowns out the almost-memories, and stays a constant drumming throb even when they relax.

Unease runs viridian.

“–our, I need you to take a breath for me, can you do that? C’mon, head up, you can do it –”

Calm and steady, Sky’s voice draws them from the almost-flashback. It’s harder this time – they hurt, and they’re tired, and the grief isn’t lurking so much as clawing up their spine. The world presses in on them. They hurt, Green-Red-Blue-Vio all caught up in we-miss-him-we-miss-him-we-miss-him. It makes everything harder, when all they want to do is fall deep and curl up in mirror-shard memories that hurt the same way they do. (The pain is comforting.) (They know it shouldn’t be.)

When they’re like this, when they can’t find the balance that lets them be Four instead of four, when they don’t even want to – someone has to take the reins. Someone who’s capable of at least pretending to be a person, for a while – and this time, that’s Red. Red, who feels things so intensely he circles right back around to ‘functional’. Who manages to take a full breath of air even through the tears, making Sky smile encouragement.

“Good! Good job, just keep it up, you’re alright.”

Red wants the smile, wants the comfort just as much as he hates it. It’s wrong. Too big, the wrong shape, smells of feathers and sunlight instead of smoke and steel. Another stuttering breath rips through his chest. He misses them so much – misses them all, even when they’re right there with him because it’s not the same. And there’s nothing he can do about it except breathe, and cry, and wait for the storm to pass.

Hyrule inches closer. “Four, you’re bleeding again. Can I see your hand?”

Red breathes through the avalanche of fear and hurt and no. Checks – the bleeding isn’t bad – before shaking his head. “S’fine.”

“I don’t want to leave you in pain. Please?”

“No.” It comes out harsher than he intends.

“Okay, not right now. Can you let me know when you’re ready?”

Red hums agreement. Presses the hand against his sternum, feels the way it makes glass shift in his fingers.

“Just make sure you get it treated, little one,” Time says from nearby, deep and slow. “That’s your sword hand.” He’s – closer than Red had realised. They all are, actually.

“You gotta look after yourself!” Wild adds.

That is possibly the most hypocritical thing he’s ever heard Wild say, and for a moment he just stares. Then he gets distracted by Wind, bouncing and clearly relieved Four is looking more stable.

“It’s okay, Four! Wild says these don’t take long, so we’ll be out of here and back to normal in no time!” His eyes catch on Four’s hand – still clenched tight, still bleeding – and flicker uncertainly. Then he squeaks and flails in protest as Warriors scrubs a hand through his hair.

“Sailor’s right, it’ll be okay. Maybe talk to your friend next time you’re home? See about getting a spare – or somewhere safer to keep it?”

Twilight makes a noise of agreement. “Your friend must be real important to ya,” he says, “but you haven’t mentioned ‘em before. Can you tell us about them?”

Embers spark.

“He killed himself,” Four says boldly, “to save my life.”

There’s a brief, horrified silence.

Then everyone bursts out talking at once, Twilight’s frantic apologies mixing with Wind telling him off, Hyrule pleading to let him help, Warriors protesting something that gets lost in the commotion. They’re guilty, apologetic, desperately trying to help.

Red doesn’t care.

“I can’t just – get a new one, because it was his, and now he’s gone. He saved me – he saved all of fucking Hyrule – and people call me a hero when I couldn’t – I couldn’t even save him.” Under a layer of numb his skin is burning, with hurt, with anger, with the grief he holds close. He still feels so cold. It isn’t fair.

Time interrupts before he can dig his heels too deep. “How old were you?” His voice is gentle, almost distant.

“We were – we were both thirteen.” His voice cracks and he has to use his free hand to dash away angry tears. This is why he doesn’t talk about it, dammit.

Sky hugs him.

It’s more awkward than usual, without all their layers in the way – why does skin have to be so warm, and slightly sticky, ugh – but Sky is determined, and Four – doesn’t have it in him to protest, right now. Leaning into Sky’s chest, he lets himself relax – lets his fingers loosen, just a little, on the shard of mirror-glass.

They just want this to be over.

-----

When Four doesn’t fight him, just lets himself be held, Sky fixes the rest of the group with a sharp eye. “Wild, how fast can you get us through this?”

Wild’s back goes straight. “Depends on the tasks, usually doesn’t take more than an hour or two.”

“How do we get out afterwards?”

Wild glances around, grimacing. “Well, usually there’s a – a platform that carries you up and down, but I don’t see one here – this looks really different to what I’m used to, but it – it feels the same, I guess?”

Sky stays focused on problem solving. “Any other ways out?”

“The shrine keeper. When you approach them, the shrine keeper teleports you out.”

“Can we bypass the dungeon and go straight for the exit that way?”

“No, they – they’re always blocked off, you have to – the shrine wants you to do something, and you have to figure it out and – and actually do it, before the path opens – sometimes the problem is the path –”

“Okay, so it is like a dungeon,” says Legend. He’s tense, keeps flicking quick looks at Four and the way he’s standing unprotestingly in Sky’s hold. “How fast d’you think we can get through with multiple people helping?”

“Only one way to find out!” says Sky with false cheer.

Quickly they get themselves organised. There’s no equipment to outfit themselves with, no armour to check; all they can do is split into smaller groups to hopefully cover all corners as fast as possible. Legend makes a point of putting Warriors in the only group of three. Warriors complains, but’s mostly a front. He’s never experienced a dungeon before and is rightly wary, so putting him with two other people who have only makes sense.

Sky they leave to babysit Four, whose empty expression and slow reflexes are not convincing anyone that he’s capable of a dungeon run. Some traps have genuinely murderous timing. He’s also still refusing to let go of his necklace, which cuts him deep enough to bleed every time something makes him startle.

Once they’re gone, and the sandy hallway has gone still, Sky gently rocks on his feet, moving Four with him. “Hey, Four? You with me at all?”

Four gives a displeased grunt.

“Yeah, I know.” Sky’s heart hurts. “C’mon, let’s sit down again. The others will come get us later.”

Four goes with him when he tugs, crouching and then tumbling into a clumsy sit. His knees draw close to his face, seemingly without thought, going back to the defensive huddle with his bloodied hand at the centre. Stormy grey is alert, if sullen. Mostly Four just looks tired.

Sky sits beside him, not wanting to overwhelm him further. “It’s okay. They’re a lot sometimes, but they mean well.”

Four’s response is too muffled to translate.

“Sorry, Four, I didn’t catch that.”

“I’m tired of them asking!” he bursts out. “I’m tired of them asking about – about friends, and family, and do you have someone special waiting for you at home, and – it hurts, and I’m tired of it, and they won’t stop!”

And of course that was the danger in Red fronting when they were this emotional – what came out was what they felt, no deflecting or sugar coating, no way to hide after.

“I’m sorry,” Sky says. “I didn’t realise it was bothering you so much. I can talk to the others about it and make sure everyone stops.”

If they haven’t sworn off it already. Blue, sardonic, even through the grey haze cloaking their mind.

I feel bad, Green murmurs, they were just trying to help.

After such an outburst? Doubtless they feel worse than you do, says Vio.

“They should feel guilty,” Red mutters, and it’s shot through with indigo venom. “Maybe now they’ll shut up.”

Sky tightens the arm across his shoulders. “It’ll be okay.”

He feels helpless. Four isn’t usually – vindictive, like this. Nor prone to outbursts and fits of temper. Being stripped mostly naked would knock anyone off-balance, to say nothing of the desperate way Four is protecting his necklace, but – Sky just doesn’t know what to do. Four’s a lot more functional than he would be, after three panic attacks back-to-back, but how much of that is just a mask? How much is he really struggling to hold it together?

(Would Sky even be able to tell, when Four’s been hiding this for so long?)

He runs a hand through his hair, absent-minded, and catches on the lack of catching at his ears. “Aw, man. It even took my earrings. Wild did say it would give them back after, right?”

“…yeah.”

His sigh of relief is only slightly exaggerated. “That’s good. Those weren’t easy to get, you know.”

Four’s tired blink isn’t the most rousing expression of interest, but Sky launches into the story anyway. He has to let go of Four to make the gestures his hands want to, and – it’s fine. Four doesn’t collapse in on himself at the loss of contact. All he does is turn his head to watch Sky talk, eyes still a little too sharp.

Sky hopes the distraction helps. Involving Four hadn’t worked, but something completely outside of himself, something new to hold onto? Maybe it will help him calm down from the edge of panic he’s been riding since they first stumbled out of the portal.

It’s as he’s describing Scrapper and the Mogmas that Wind’s shout draws them both to look up. “Hey, guys! Legend cracked it!” He waves enthusiastically, like maybe they hadn’t yet noticed him standing in his skivvies at the end of the hall. “There’s a big statue but Wild doesn’t wanna mess with it ‘til everyone’s there! C’mon!”

Four refuses Sky’s hand to get up, though he’s a little shaky on his feet. Sky tries not to hover. He knows how annoying it is, having people looming close just waiting for you to fail, and at the same time, he doesn’t want Four to hurt himself if he stumbles and falls.

Wild was right: this isn’t nearly as long and complex as a dungeon. According to Wind, who chatters on as they make their way up the spiralling collection of ramps, they’d had to do a fair bit of work pulling things apart to make it traversable for anyone who wasn’t Wild. “It took him and Twilight and Legend with his power bracelets to move that block,” he waves at the massive piece of stone they’re walking over to the next bridge-like panel. “And then Wild used his slate for these metal pieces, except he kept dropping them, and his aim is shit, so Wars nearly fell in that pool getting out of the way.”

Sky snorts at the mental image.

When they make it to the top, they find the others loosely gathered around some kind of blocky statue. It looks like a cross between an owl, a fox, and a rabbit. What even needs ears that long?

Wild flashes them a strained grin over his shoulder. “So! Usually I find a ten-thousand-year-old Sheikah monk at the end of these things, but it’s got kinda the same feel to it, so we’re gonna try anyway. Just in case, everyone grab hold of me.”

That isn’t easy. Eight different people have to crowd around Wild’s back and sides to make sure everyone has a hand on him. Sky spots Four’s hand in the crush, still streaked with drying blood, and his stomach rolls.

“Okay, everyone ready? Here goes nothing.” Wild reaches out towards the statue.

For a long moment, nothing happens.

Then the world twists like a Time Gate, several things happening at once. A panel goes red – lights up green – a glimmering box of blue light shatters, flinging threads of glass before they freeze in midair – an angry buzzing noise – chiming fairy bells –

The statue smiles.

WELL DONE.

And as suddenly as it started, it all stops.

Sky fumbles a bit at the added weight, his sailcloth dragging at his shoulders and his earrings suddenly heavy in his ears. Time’s armour makes a crashing noise like it had been dropped from a height; Time grunts.

They’re outside, grass under their feet and a weird teardrop-shaped stone building behind them. Sky doesn’t know where they are – it’s all hills and fields and low-hanging trees – but there’s no monsters in eyeshot so he uses the opportunity to double check all his belongings were returned. Earrings, sailcloth, clothes – check. Bag – check, and it looks like the contents are intact. Master Sword and scabbard, fucking goddessdamned check. He did not appreciate losing her, even for a couple of hours.

Around him the others are doing much the same, adjusting clothes and checking packs. Legend’s running his fingers over his rings like he’s counting them, while Warriors struggles to get his mail to sit right over his bad shoulder.

And Four –

All Sky catches a glimpse of is black and glossy and strangely clean of blood before Four is shoving the pendant down the neck of his tunic, out of sight.

The difference is immense. All the tension drops out of his shoulders, he stops standing hunched in on himself, even his face relaxes from its hard, suspicious lines. There’s still creases around his too-red eyes – he’s still feeling the effects of the panic and stress of the day – but he looks more himself.

He even smiles at Wind’s little dance of happiness at getting his pants back. “Aren’t you the first one to strip every time we find a lake?”

Brightening at the sound of his voice, Wind spins to face him and beams. “Yeah, but that’s different! Lakes are fun! This was just annoying.”

“You shoulda heard him whine when we asked him to scale that rope,” says Legend.

Wind makes an outraged noise. “You try climbing coarse hemp with no pants! I ain’t a fan of splinters in me privates!”

The laughter and bickering is slightly strained. Even as Hyrule creeps up and is finally, finally allowed to heal his torn-up hand and wipe away the blood, everyone’s giving Four his space. Not pushing, not demanding things of him, just letting him exist with them.

Good. Sky will still catch them up individually, make sure everyone knows Four’s had enough of personal questions, but for now at least, everything is okay.

Wild finishes what he was doing – taking photographs of the weird building? – and waves his Slate at everyone. “Definitely my Hyrule! If we head north, we should make it to Castle Town by nightfall.”

“Isn’t your Castle Town still mostly construction site?” Legend says, and Wild shrugs.

“If you wanna spend two days walking to Kakariko, be my guest, but there’s at least a temporary stable and inn at Castle Town.”

“I vote beds,” says Wind immediately.

Sky agrees – from the look of the sun, they’re mid-afternoon, so being just a couple of hours away from safety is very appealing. It only takes a little debate for Legend to give in, since he doesn’t want to sleep on the ground if he doesn’t have to, either. As they set off through the grass, Sky scans the group one last time.

Twilight’s up the front with Wild, Hyrule looking on in fascination as Wild waves at a herd of horses and threatens to catch one. Warriors is close enough to intervene if necessary, while Legend is deliberately ignoring them in favour of studying the landscape – in the opposite direction of Wild’s horses. Wind has dragged Time into a conversation about his armour, with Four – steady and reserved once more – chiming in here and there about plate maintenance.

Sky takes a deep breath, and lets the tension run out of him as he exhales.

For now, everything’s okay.

#whumptober 2023 #linked universe #lu fic #skies writes #lu four #lu sky #lu wind #lu wild #lu twilight #lu legend #lu hyrule #lu warriors #don't @ me if your fave did a dumb #they are all stressed and dumb rn #i debated having this like a ‘you can keep ONE THING’ but decided the incidental nudity would probably not be conducive to good angst #regarding four and who’s speaking at any one time: if it’s not clear it's not meant to be clear #:) #I know there are ways to get equipment onto eventide #but i like imagining the monk sitting there watching link’s attempts to bypass it rolling its eyes and going ‘i can’t let you do that dave'

[websterss]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇 𝐎𝐅 𝐌𝐄 𝟐/𝟒 — 𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐑𝐘  

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: Your plan to get the group's attention becomes too difficult of a task especially with Ethan leaving your bracelet in his dorms, forcing you to be stuck in his dorm until he returns. You start to wonder whether he'll keep you locked up forever until he presents you with the idea of going to a party for the night.

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆(𝐒): A bit graphic, mentions of blood and dying, angst, implications again but no smut, sad flashback

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 4,005

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: Ethan Landry x fem!Ghost!Reader

𝐀/𝐍: I hope you enjoy it! I based this off the song by Lizzy McAlpine - Doomsday

𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

Perhaps you had overestimated Ethan’s true intentions that night. Being pinned down both alive and dead brought on stress, pain, and ptsd, that wretched night scarred you. Flashes from the night he killed you remain true and gory. The color red turned into your most hated color of the rainbow. The second worst color; was brown. It was the color of his eyes. You used to adore having his attention, wanted nothing more than for him to swing that gaze on you with that charming grin he bore. Now you just wanted to erase every touch, conversation, and his whole existence. You knew the repercussions of attempting to bring justice for yourself, the whole obstacle of being invisible to the human eye; to your friends mostly. They couldn’t see you, and try as you wanted, they would not be able to hear you plead and beg for their attention, which you craved and yearned for the most. Anything but Ethan’s, anything but the heavy reminder of him stabbing you over and over with his knife. 

You were oblivious to his attack. You saw him coming, and you let him into your home, but you never saw his intentions. You would have guessed what the night would have potentially led to had it gone the way you hoped. A kiss, maybe even more, but not this. Not him, and the war he was battling behind his eyes, as he stared at you with a lost expression. 

-

“Hey Eth, do you want anything to drink? There’s water, and juice, a few sodas that I haven’t drunk yet. I’m not much of a beer person, but we can go to that bodega on the corner to get some if you want. I’m kind of craving some chips honestly.” You called out to him. Ethan had excused himself to use your bathroom. He needed to go after a few hours of trying to absorb every painstaking word from his econ textbook. You teased him for his class requirement. Why would anyone put themselves through such a class? Cause it was required for his degree of course. You shook your head as you opened your fridge up. The bright light from inside illuminates your face. Your brows pinch together when you get no response from him. Do guys usually take long to pee? 

“Ethan?” You glance at your fridge one more time before closing it. The second the door was closed you turned, and you wished you never did. “Ethan you okay in ther–” You cut yourself off seeing him stand there at the door of the bathroom. A black robe was now thrown over his clothes, and his hands dawned gloves; also black, but what made your heart sink was the knife he twiddled in his hands. His gaze was solely on the weapon. All you could see was his dark brown curls. “Ethan?” You take a small cautious step back. You kept trailing your eyes up and down his entire. Trying to find the butt of this really fucked up joke. There didn’t seem to be one though, just cautionary fear tingling up and down your spine. You had never really been in a flight or fight situation and you really didn’t want to be. You cringe when he tosses the mask onto the island between you both. The mask revealed all you needed and everything you were afraid of. Your breathing picked up as you stared down the all too familiar ghost face mask your friends warned you about. Your watery gaze rose to meet his detrimental stare. One look at his stance, the way his eyes burned with hate. The tight grip he had on the hilt. It screamed a man with the intent to do harm. And he would because your sweet dorky Ethan was gone. You didn’t recognize the intensity of the man before you. “W-What are you doing?”

“I’m gonna give you two options okay?” His voice was shaky. His jaw clenched. You sucked in a breath as he continued. You were on the verge of sobbing. “You can run, and you might get away with some injuries, or I can get it over with so you won’t suffer as much.” How generous…You look away, walking over to the farthest counter and placing your hands on it. You eye the pan you had left on top of the stove, before looking over your shoulder in distraught.

“W-What’s the third option?” You cry softly. 

“There isn’t one baby…My dad…” His eyes glistened. “He wouldn’t change his mind. He couldn’t be swayed, Y/n. I tried…” He looked down at the knife. “Believe me when I say that I tried. He wouldn’t let up though, he wants you dead.” 

“What?” You shook your head confused. “You tried? What the fuck does that mean? Why would he want me dead? W-We were just studying a few minutes ago Ethan. For your Econ exam. If you wanted to take a break you could have just said so, you didn’t have to go to such extensive measures!” You gesture to the robe hysterically. “Why are you doing this? I-I haven’t done anything to you. I haven’t done anything!” You breath hitches and cracks with every exhale and inhale of your cries. “I-I don’t wanna die Ethan…” You cower back against the door of your refrigerator. “Please, y-you’re my friend. You’re supposed to be my friend...”

“I know baby…” He closes his eyes shut. Then looks back up at you. “But I don’t have a choice. It was either you, or me.” He tilts his head. You go still, terror overtaking your face. You straighten, balling your left hand into a fist. The small pan was hidden behind your back, out of his sight. If he did notice you grab it, he didn’t mention it, maybe to allow you some peace of mind before everything went to shit.

You walk over to him slowly, cautiously, hoping not to trigger his fight response. “Will you give me something then, before you start?” You let out shakenly. 

“What?” His brows furrow.

You slowly reach up with your left and cup one side of his face before bringing his lips onto your own slowly. Your hand slid behind his head and curled your fingers into his locks, tugging him closer. Ethan nearly dropped the knife then and there. You caught him off guard. Might as well right, you thought. If you were going out then you’d go out believing and dreaming of what could have been. Maybe someday, somewhere right? Yeah right. Your breath hitches as you pull away, a tear slipping down your face as you pat his cheek gently. Then you swing the frying pan you grabbed into the side of his head before bolting down the hall to your room. Ethan's stance faltered. He stumbled back into the bathroom door, before falling onto his side. You had barely rushed past him when he tried to reach for your leg, but he missed. Not so safe to say he didn’t appreciate the sudden whack across the head since he thudded heavily towards your locked door. It took him about three powerful kicks before he got it open. You flinched by the window having it halfway lifted by the time he got in. He stood at the entrance, his eyes narrowed. He sighed heavily, as he shook his head. 

“Option one then…” He cracked his neck before he stormed towards you. You cried and fought him off, but the knife still got lodged into your stomach. You cried out in pain as you felt a sudden pinch snip at your wrist before he threw you across the room, you fell to the carpet, doing a horrible job at staying upright. He had gutted you well and efficiently enough to cause you to bleed tremendously. One thought and one thought only ran through your mind then and there. The door. The front door was the goal. The dream really. It was wishing thinking at this point honestly. But you began your crawl in agony. You grunt and whimper as your limbs and organs hurt with every movement and push you force your body to move forward. You couldn’t stay here, you had to get out, You just had to. 

Ethan begrudgingly sat at the edge of your bed. He rubbed against the side of his temple, his fingers drawn back with blood now smeared across his tips. Fuck, he thought. He looked over at you pushing yourself out the door with a struggle. How long he would let you do this for, was the real kicker. He thought it best to let you hope for a little longer. To let you continue ‘escaping’ as he assumed that is what he was looking at. He knew he said he wouldn’t let you suffer, but for some fucked up reason, he couldn’t let you die just yet. He wanted to enjoy a bit of your drive, your determination, and the sound of your voice regardless of the fact you were crying out in pain. He wanted to save it to memory for a few more minutes. You, just being alive. Just a little bit longer, he thought. He couldn’t get your kiss out of his head. Had you wanted to kiss him before? He hadn’t known, nor would he after this. He looked up again to find you out of his sight, had you moved that quickly? He strained his ears to be able to hear your faint grunts. You were slowly dying and he was only dragging it on further than he needed to. He placed his hands on his knees and stood up. He glanced around your room, letting his eyes roam over everything that screamed ‘you’. To the lights, to the fun colors on your bed, to the wall of pictures, to the now bloody carpet. He looked away, feeling a tinge of sadness for turning your most sacred place of comfort into a horror scene in the span of only a few minutes. He’d been in your home for over an hour, and it only took him minutes to ruin everything good in this little home you created for yourself. He walked over to the door, shifting his eyes to a picture you hung on the wall. It was of him and you. Bemused and silly is what he would describe the vibe he felt when he looked at it. Maybe someday, somewhere. That’s what he’d hope for. With one last glance at the pictures, he tapped it with his glove and moved into the hall. You had made some distance, but it was never going to be enough. He couldn’t keep watching you attempt to crawl your way to what you hoped would be your best chance of survival. He had to put you out of your misery. It would probably be the one good thing he could grant you. 

-

Any future attempt at trying to gain the attention of anyone other than Ethan was a no-go. The first few times he hadn’t suspected much when he brought along your bracelet. Your one and only means of transportation to and from places. He threatened to leave it in his room when he caught onto your intentions. You hated how much you begged and pleaded to be let out, be ‘taken out for some sunlight’ if you will. You had become reliant and dependable on Ethan as much as you despised it. He really had been your only source of sanity, without him as he smugly liked to remind you, you’d be stuck in his room. He even went ahead and left the bracelet under his pillow just to prove a point to you. You beat on his chest when he saw you storm up to him as he entered his room. You wanted nothing more than to slap that stupid smirk off his face, so you had, and he kissed you roughly, pinning you to his door.

It was routine, and he seemed to enjoy every minute of it, and you, you just had to go through with it or you’d end up cooped up in his room again waiting for him to return, just like today, on all the days. Halloween has been your absolute favorite and the asshole left your bracelet on his night stand. It mocked you as you sat on his bed staring off into space. You thought back to your Princess Diaries costume that was gonna be awesome, but now it sat in your closet, in your apartment that was covered in blood, your blood, which was now also a crime scene, so now you had nothing to wear but the clothes on your back. You lift your head as the door to his room opens. The devil himself walks in. Ethan approaches you, leaning down to give you a rough slow kiss. His hands cupping the back of your head to bring you closer. You sigh as the kiss goes on longer than needed. A scowl paints your face as he pulls back and bites back a smile. He straightens up and looks down at you with adoration.

“Get off your cute butt, we're going out.” That made you perk up. 

“Out? Where are we going?”

“A party. It’s Halloween remember, let’s go have fun.” He smirks seeing your face contort with confusion. You should have been thrilled, ecstatic even, but his sudden mood shift put you on edge. You noticed that after days turned into weeks. How he’d be nice and touchy feelings with you, then be an absolute sociopath the next. His sudden emotional outbursts scared you. Even dead he could still hurt you. “Come on, get up!” 

“I-I don’t get you.” You shook your head. You knew better than to fuel the flame he had tucked away at the moment, but you didn’t know how to deal with his change of emotions anymore, it was exhausting when he out of nowhere felt the need to play ‘Mr. Nice Guy’. You were over it.

“What do you mean?” He stopped looking for a long sleeve to look back at you. 

“You’ve kept me trapped in your room for five days, and now, all of a sudden you’re kissing me again, and being sweet? I don’t get you, Ethan.” You look away from him. Shrinking in place when he draws near. 

“I wanna take you out, what’s wrong with that?” His shoulders slumped. “You wanted out of here, you’re getting that.” He walked over to his nightstand and picked up the small gold chain. Mocking you with it as he dangled it out to you. Then proceeded to tuck it into his jeans. “Now get up, I’m supposed to meet Chad there. Unless you want me to leave you here.” You immediately got up from his bed.

“I don’t even have anything to wear.” You gesture to your shirt and jeans that you’ve been wearing since you showed up. The red sneakers are your signature trademark. The group used to find it endearing. You wondered if they were missing you right about now. 

“Why should it matter, no one can see you anyway?” Ethan immediately tensed seeing your face fall. “I didn’t mean it like that…look how about we- we could ya know…” He trailed off then met eyes with his white bedsheets then stilled. You watched wearily and then curiously as he stripped his bed of his flat sheet. Who the hell owned a flat sheet? 

“What's with the sheet?” You raise a brow in question.

“Would this even work? I mean you couldn’t even touch your bracelet. It just went right through you.” He eyed the sheet and then walked over to you. “Can I?” He gestured to you then the bed linen in his hands. He took quick notice of your hesitance. “Just trust me.” He waved your doubts away. His words made you laugh out loud causing him to grow still. 

“Says my murderer…” You roll your eyes.

“Humor me then.” He grunts then before you can protest he throws the linen over your head and watches it drape over your frame. When it remained over you, his heart began picking up. “Holy…shit!” He backed up, his hands frozen in mid-air as he surveilled you from head to toe. “No fucking way that worked. Holy shit!” You heard him breathe out aloud. What was he so shocked about?

“I can’t see anything.” He couldn’t see it but he imagined you were pouting. 

“Oh right, sorry. Here take it off!” He pulled on the sheet until you came back into his view. Your hair was in disarray. Wild and full of static. A cute pout on your lips as you stared at him. Observing as he dug out a pocket knife and cut into the fabric. Two eyes holes from what you could tell, and then he was turning back to you, reaching forward to fix some crazy strands. The kiss placed on your lips caught you by surprise. He smiled at you and then went to throw the flat sheet over your head again. He adjusted it until your eyes were directly over the two holes he made. You could see out of it now. “Oh my god, you look fucking cool!” He ushered you to his thin mirror. What you didn’t come to realize soon enough was that the linen over your body did not go through you. Your eyes slowly widened as you began to grasp what this would mean for you. People would be able to see you. 

“Holy shit…” You gasped as you stared back at your reflection. You had a reflection. You couldn’t see your eyes, but you could see the very visible bed sheet that was placed over your frame. “Holy fucking shit!” You exclaim, excitingly. You knew what this entailed, but you realized that Ethan had yet to understand why you were so excited about the sheet being placed over you and why it didn’t phase through you like the bracelet had. You figured that he figured you were only freaking out because he thought you thought this was cool. It was, that was no lie, but you were hopeful again. 

“No one will think twice about it.” Ethan laughed at your reaction.

“It worked!” You extend your arms out and do a little spin. 

“It’s fitting honestly going as a ghost, I mean who’s gonna question the girl with a sheet draped over her head?” He chuckled. He nodded in agreement. You were though, a ghost and all. Dead or costume didn’t change that. Not one bit. You hadn’t known why you let your intrusive thoughts win in the moment. Perhaps you rushed towards him because you wanted to express how you were feeling and needed an outlet. Needing to show Ethan just how happy you felt, though you knew you had acted in such a way because your plan to try and find a way to communicate with your friends was back on track, and Ethan was none the wiser about it. You had shed the sheet and brought his lips onto yours. This had been the second time now that your initiated kiss had caught him off guard, but he welcomed the affection nonetheless. He walked the both of you backward until he fell back onto the bed, taking you down with him as the kiss grew heated and rougher. You stayed on top until he had flipped you both. The hungry gaze behind his eyes knew you were gonna be a little late for the party, but you hadn’t really been too worried about it. 

-

The walk to the frat house had been interesting. You kept turning your head towards every wandering eye that landed on you and Ethan. You bet you both looked like quite the pair. A sheeted ghost and a cardboard knight. You had judged Ethan’s look with love and some honesty. You still didn’t get it when it had to explain to you who he was. He went into detail about his inspiration from the movie Murder Party. A movie you had no idea existed until he showed you a scene in which the character Ethan was being tonight wore said costume. It felt like trivia. 

When you both walked through the door. You were both immersed in the chaos and music blasting through a speaker somewhere in the house. Bodies, bodies, and bodies all around, grinding, talking, drinking, and of course the occasional hookup. You were feeling a bit better than you and Ethan had your own pre-hookup before arriving. You knew better than to let your heart lead, but you couldn’t help the swarm of butterflies in your stomach when he reached behind him, extending his hand out for you to grab, and you did, allowing him to lead the way around the various of party goers fully and barely intoxicated. It wasn’t long until Ethan had found Chad. And boy were you not prepared for him to finally see you. See your ghost costume. 

“And who is this unlively thing?” Chad joked but teasingly nudged Ethan over and over. You had barely registered Chad’s faint words of ‘That’s my boy’ and ‘I told you, full snack baby!’ before he turned his attention back onto you. “What’s your name sweetheart?” Oh his smile, his beautiful grin that you had missed having be directed at you. 

“This is Wyen!” Ethan introduced you. You were glad they couldn’t see the questionable expression you gave under the sheet for the very questionable name he gave you. What the fuck Ethan?

“Wyen?” Chad's brows pinched together in question as well. “I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone with such a unique name.” He shook his head.

“Yeah…she gets that a lot, just think of her name as the letters Y and N and you’ll be fine.” Ethan waved it off. 

“Why would I–” Chad sputtered in confusion. Then turned to you. “What? Is he messing with me? Please tell me he’s fucking with me?” Chad laughed your way. You shook your head and said. 

“No, if only you knew though.” You said. Ethan eyed you, but Chad hadn’t heard you one bit. 

“Is she good?” Chad leaned over to Ethan, as he took note of your lack of responses. “She's not…you know.” He gestured to his ears.

“Deaf? Oh no, yeah she’s fine, she’s just staying in character tonight. Halloween is kind of her favorite holiday.” You wanted to slap him right then and there, so you did. You reached forward and smacked him. Chad found your interactions amusing.

“Ahh okay. Well apologies, ole friendly ghost. I was in the dark of such information, but I respect your wishes to continue to haunt our youth in silence!” Chad placed a hand over his naked chest. You breathe a laugh aloud, but you realize your laugh didn’t reach his ears. It made you tear up a bit, but you concluded that the shake of your shoulders was enough for him to register you did in fact find his teasing funny because his head was thrown back as he laughed. God you had missed him. You tipped your chin down and curtsied, adding to the bit he was doing. “She’s funny too. I like you already.” He pointed at you. “Well, Ghostette and Mr. Landry, enjoy yourselves, not too much of course, but get drunk, and make out. I’m gonna go see where the girls are alright, find me if anything goes wrong okay? Anything. That goes for you too Wyen. Find me for anything!” With that, he tapped Ethan’s cardboard chest in what you assumed was approval and walked in the opposite direction. You scoff knowing that Chad considered you to be Ethan’s conquest for tonight. It looked like trying to gain their attention was going to be harder than you expected...especially since Ethan was hesitant to let you out of his sights now.

#ethan landry #ethan landry x reader #ethan landry x fem!reader #ethan landry imagines #ethan landry imagine #ethan landry series #writings by juls #my gif

[the-s1lly-corner]

I want to request like. A cuddling session with Slenderman, who is having a bad day and we comfort him

(つ≧▽≦)つ

I'm addicted to the idea of him pretending to be okay with people calling him monster, but deep down he has this longing for it to stop, since he wanted to get along with the proxies and others he deemed second family.

So he like, rant about his day while reader comfort him.

Maybe get him a little fluster aswell （〜^∇^ )〜

(Take your time and have a good day/night)

All Entwined in One Web

obligatory im stuck in the 2015 era of the creepypasta fandom and ive been mulling over this sort of approach in my head for the past month because i revisited an old slenderman x oc fanfic that had a death grip on me and shaped the way i will interact with + and consume creepypasta stuff for the sake of saving grace and not revealing HOW cringe i was im not going to drop the fanfic name (unless yall dm me because!! i still wanna support the author even if it seems theyre inactive now!) i blame this author for making me a demon sympathizer/j/lh written kinda different than my basic bullet list of hcs! got silly with this one, sorry if its jarring compared to my usual stuff </3 this post is mostly just my hc on like. slender (and by extension all demon characters) being neutral and a simple part of nature that stems from zalgo (yay im finally dropping zalgo lore for my au since he functions differently in my au/hc!!) so take this with a HUGE grain of salt since i feel this deters from the main take people use (that ive seen, at least) this one ended up being more.. sad than i first intended and imma be honest i kinda got into my feelings when i was writing this anywaus i hope this isnt too cringe since i dont talk much about my HUGEhcs/au stuff/rewritten stuff so!! plus i dont usually write BIG detailed stuff like this sobsob tldr; slenderman isnt good or evil hes just a neutral piece of nature in the world and hes trying to cope with it. the demon gods really fucked up by making him sentient and able to process human like emotions

death is a force of nature and people curse it for simply being a part of life; people curse wild animals for being, and people will curse the weather

in this universe, or timeline, demons exist in a similar manner. slenderman exists simply because hes a part of that huge web of nature. of course, that includes every single ugly instinct that humans hate so so much. and he can understand why, even if its his nature.

the one responsible for that web, is zalgo. the beginning and end of everything. neither alive nor dead, all demons stem from zalgo in one way or another.

a solitary creature that prefers to stay alone in the comfort of its home, it doesnt tend to reach out to harm others unless theres harm. only really attacking people that threaten to expose it or get too close...

except, you... you were the one exception. regardless of how you managed to worm yourself into his heart, and become his lifelong companion, hes grateful for your presence when things begin to build up.

he knows that in the eyes of others, he ugly and vile, but he knows that ultimately thats what protects him. he insists that its better this way, sticking to the forest away from the prying eyes.

SURE, he could follow in his brothers footsteps and make a false human body and try to blend in with the people. but is that really efficient? is that really something he wants? hes a powerful being but that would eventually take its toll on him..

ultimately he resigns himself into your arms; once oozing powerful and command, now crumpled and curled.

he never had a childhood, when zalgo created him, he simply.

was

no adolescence, no developing, no growing. he was always what he was meant to be, but he likes to think that when youre holding him, that this is what it feels like to be so small and vulnerable.

humans had it so easy, hed think. theyre born and they die and the process repeats itself for everyone. they dont have to be feared or hated, or kill to survive.

yes, to him, being mortal was far more preferable to being condemned to being a lonely hermit who corrupts and breaks everything it touches.

even with your comfort, theres only so much that you can do; youll eventually pass on as well and hell be stuck in his cycle once more

but for now, as you hum softly and whisper nothings to him as you let him crumble; hell let himself weep just this once.

because as much as he envies your life, and what humans have, he cant deny that he cant bring himself to truly hate them, because like him, theyre simply a piece of natures web.

#creepypasta au #creepypasta slenderman #creepypasta headcanon #slenderman x reader #slenderman headcanons #slenderman imagine #drabbles #angst #really im just being silly #creepypasta #creepypasta x reader #creepypasta x you

[lokisprettygirl]

Okay I finally watched the episode and I have several feelings so here we go...

If you haven't watched the show, stop reading. (Though I hope you have blocked the spoilers tag, if not it's your own fault..don't come at me)

Am I dying every second thinking about him being alone there for eternity? Obviously 😭

But am i stupid or delusional enough to think he won't make a comeback in the next Avengers movie? No.

I don't think those people can fight kang without loki, they would at some point need his help because he's literally the most powerful god out there now.

Coming back to the episode there's not much I cared about, I probably wouldn't have blinked if ob, b15 or Casey would have died..didn't care about them at all if I was being honest and it's not the character's fault.

As much I hated the ship (because god forbid two male characters are friends in any show these days because they have to be lovers otherwise it's homophobia.. remember when bromance existed? Good times)

Mobius had a good character development that began in season 5 and continued this season unlike Sylvie who started as such a badly written selfish character that the only way they could have fixed it this season was to completely sideline her, which thankfully they did. The smirk and smile at the end even knowing that she may never get to see Loki again? (Yeah just die already).

Hopefully I'll never have to see her again.

Coming back to Loki (my precious baby love) i know his arc ended on a bittersweet note (that smile at the end just warmed my heart like never before) and it's more bitter for me than sweet because I can't handle the thought of him being so lonely because this is not what he wanted or deserved but then I think about Loki who died via strangulation and I'm like fuck everything, this is definitely much better than that ending.

Personally I think with time he's going to grow and learn to control this new power (or he could just clone himself and use him in a way? Idk Marvel can do anything) but I can feel it in my bones that this is not the end of him (unless ofcourse Tom is done with him and won't return for future projects)

That being said, Loki is alive and sure he is alone at the moment but he's a hero now, he has more than redeemed himself and he can finally forgive himself for everything that he didn't do right, perhaps this is what he needed to find that sense of purpose he has been looking for all his life. Hopefully he'd see himself as the god that he always was.

A man that was always ridiculed for his selfishness and narcissism chose to save the multiverse by sacrificing his freedom, by giving up his own free will. He chose everything he didn't want, a throne and what seemed like eternal solitude (but hopefully not)..a man of actions indeed. His arc reminds me of Tony in a way and that's beautiful.

Wherever you go, it's just death, destruction, the literal ends of worlds!

Uhhhhhuh? Look what my boy just did for the whole fucking multiverse.

I'm just trying to see the silver lining here that he's alive and he's the moment..he's everything, he literally became the most powerful being to ever exist in mcu and that gives me hope for him…he'd come back. Kang's arc started with him and they'd need him when the time comes. If not I got my fanfiction powers 🤣 (He deserves to find the sort of love that would stay by his side even if he's all that person would ever get)

Thank God they changed the writers this season and fixed somewhat of the mess they had made of this majestic, ethereal god last time.

Overall yeah my heart is breaking for him but look at him..he's the moment, he's the king of the multiverse, he's everything.

#loki my precious baby buttons #anti sylvie #loki spoilers #loki who remains #loki spoiler #my baby will find love and happiness..i know he will #if Thor could see him now

[gregrulzok]

What are your top 10 favorite media, like from books, anime/manga, movies, tv series, etc (if you feel like listing multiple) of all time? Feel free if you want to write the reasons or not of why you love them....

Now THIIIIS is way different from asking me my favourite characters.

When it comes to characters, I tend to be heavily analytical and critical. When it comes to media... Well, you'll see. Whatever the case please note that these pieces of media being my favourite doesn't mean I necessarily recommend them. There's things I love with my whole heart that I wouldn't inflict upon my mortal enemy. You've been warned.

I'm also purposefully omitting some of my favourite pieces of media to shine a spotlight on ones I don't really get to talk about, or just want more people to know about (sorry, Berserk)

I'll try and keep these ones spoiler free, since I'm thinking of them more as recommendations! NSFW media will be marked with a *, but I won't go into anything explicit here. Please look up media mindfully and with discression, some of these may be triggering.

Thank you for the ask and I'm sorry for the ridiculous lengths of information you're about to witness !

Dungeon Meshi

Lets start with a safe one. A simple one. An expected one.

Yes, Dungeon Meshi IS that good.

Dungeon Meshi is a beautifully drawn manga that starts out slow, whimsical and almost slice-of-life-y, and then descents into utter madness so slowly and skillfully that by the time you blink you're in another dimension.

The world building in this series is second to none - everything makes sense and nothing is handwaved. The genuine and honest passion in the way the world feels alive is palpable, and despite its realism it never loses its magical feeling.

The characters are charming, lovable, realistic, and complex. Each of them have an inner world to tap into, each of them feels like a real person you could hold a conversation with and would WANT to hold a conversation with. Here I'll also proudly announce that we get zero (0) gratuitous fanservice, zero (0) characters who exist as a punchline, and guaranteed Sexy-Lamp Free !

The plot... Fuck, man. The plot is the most honest and bare faced look at some of the most nuanced subjects in the world (desire, ambition, love, death, survival, trauma, neurodivergence) wrapped up in a way that feels simple, grounded and real.

It also sincerely began to heal my relationship with food. I don't think I've ever seen the subjects of cooking, eating, health, weight and body diversity portrayed so well in such an empathetic, understanding and caring way in any piece of media. Body positivity is not so much a focus, but rather an undercurrent in the whole manga.

Whew ! With one objectively good piece of media out of the way, let's move on to something more unhinged, such as ...

Honestly I can't begin to imagine what kind of person WOULDN'T enjoy Dungeon Meshi. Do yourself a favour and read it.

Cats (1998)

Cats. The Broadway musical cats. One of the longest running musicals in the world, award winning, famously bashed and hated, recently revorked into a horrible film that was even more bashed and hated, the beautiful, glorious wonderful disaster of my heart - Cats.

Specifically, the 1998 film version.

...It's so hard for me to explain this one.

At some point, while watching Cats for the second time (for a reason I cannot explain), some neurons fired the wrong direction in my brain and now I have a pathological obsession, to the point where I can name each and every single Godforsaken cat in this show, including the ones that don't even appear in the credits.

Cats. What am I even supposed to say here, like, genuinely. It's cats.

Well, here's the thing - the choreography and acting direction in this fucking musical is genuinely breathtaking. It takes a few watches for it to fully click, but once it does, I sincerely believe that Cats is one of the most endlessly fascinating pieces of media to analyze. What you have to understand about Cats is that every single character (with very few exceptions) is on screen basically for the entire show. And so while you're watching the dancing in the foreground (which is beautiful on its own), every single cat in the background is just ... There. Moving, interacting, portraying characteristics that are never stated, never so much as focused on - but you can see them. You can see the kittens playing with each-other, you can see the elders gossiping, you can see small bits and gags you won't catch your first time, or second, or fifth. You can see how rowdy Tumblebrutus and Pouncival are, you can see how excitable Electra is, you can see the quiet dignity of Coricopat and Tantomile, the friendship between Jellylorum and Jennyanydots. There's always new little bits of background characterisation you can catch, pretty much regardless of how many times you've seen it.

In that way, Cats is feels the most alive, the most ever changing and evolving. I'm completely enraptured by it and if you do want to watch it, I recommend watching it as many times as you can stomach, because your first time through it'll glide right off you like water off a duck.

Chainsaw Man (Public Safety Arc)*

The first time I finished reading Chainsaw Man, I stared at my phone for a straight minute, then started sobbing. The next morning, I drank alcohol for the first time.

I wish that was a joke.

I'll admit I'm not up to date on the second arc of Chainsaw Man - it honestly got away from me a little and I'm not entirely sure I'll be finishing it.

But that doesn't take away from the fact that the first arc is one of the most tightly written, beautiful, emotional stories I've ever read.

Sure, it's fun and funny. Sure, it's cool in it's action scenes. Sure, the art direction is absolutely breathtaking. Sure, the character design and worldbuilding are interesting and detailed.

But at its heart the core appeal of CSM, to me, is the way it speaks about trauma, abuse, assault, isolation, fear, and desire. Chainsaw Man is painfully down to earth in a gritty, real way, and while it is extremely dark, it's also uplifting and hopefull in a way a lot of dark media isn't.

Chainsaw Man makes you feel tiny, helpless in a massive world. Chainsaw Man puts you up against horrors both tangible and fantastical, and then it looks you in the eyes and says "Hey. You aren't weak. You aren't useless. The world is scary, the world is cruel, the world is harsh, but that doesn't mean you can't fight it. That doesn't mean there isn't hope".

I really don't know how else to describe it without going into spoilers. It's genuinely moving.

Arcane

Arcane is a beautiful tragedy that has no right being as impactful as it is for being a goddamn League of Legends adaptation, of all things.

The art direction in Arcane is absolutely insane - Taking a page from Into the SpiderVerse (which is another favourite of mine), it blends 3D animation with a 2D-esque art style and fully 2D effects to bring what I genuinely believe to be one of the best looking shows in the world to life. And that's not all !

Arcane is infinitely nuanced. Between it's multiple plots it introduces many, many characters, all of whom have their own wants, needs, goals, ambitions, fears, flaws and trauma, and it clashes them together beautifully. Nothing in Arcane feels like an afterthought to me, I think the most fantastic thing about it is how expertly it weaves all these different storylines together. Everything ties into something else, everything affects something else, the story changes based on every little movement of our main characters and by the time it unfolds you realize that there's nothing that could really be done to change it because EVERYTHING lead to this.

It's a tragedy in the best way possible.

Attack on Titan

I don't care what anyone says - Attack on Titan is one of the best Anime ever put on screen.

I am a person that grew up in a colonized, war-torn country. Part of our land is still occupied, and our occupants are currently seeking refuge in our city and acting like this is their vacation resort. My people have been marginalized, demonized, dismissed, our culture has been erased and we have been fed more propaganda than I can count.

And I say this because I think being in this situation lends me a pretty good perspective of what AoT is:

Propaganda. The first two seasons of Attack on Titan are literally an extended propaganda film, meant to trick and decieve the viewer into siding with the protagonists, and dismissing their enemies as mere monsters.

If I go any deeper into that statement, there will inevitably be spoilers, so I'll cap it off with this:

There are no easy answers in war. There are no heroes and no villains, there are no good guys and bad guys, and there are no winners. There is only deception, control, and death.

I've never seen a piece of fiction capture the true, real horror of war quite as well as Attack on Titan does.

Death Parade

Everybodyyyyyyy put your hands upppppp

Death Parade is the show I go to rewatch when I have nothing else to rewatch.

It is a soft, yet painful look at human nature. It's an exploration of what makes a person good or bad, and whether such things even exist. It brings into question the very nature of humanity, whether there's such a thing as being good or bad, whether our character is formed by our circumstances or our behaviour, and how those things should be judged. It asks what it means to have emotions, to have feelings, and how your own personal emotions and biased factor into how you assess other people - whether it's more unfair to judge someone objectively without empathy, or subjectively with your own narrow, biased worldview.

All of that wrapped in a beautiful aesthetic, and a somber, subtle love story. Not even necessarily a romantic one - just pure love.

Highly, highly recommend.

Oyasumi Punpun*

Oyasumi Punpun is the most direct, honest, unfiltered, unbiased look at a human being's psyche I've ever seen.

It's also one of the most triggering bits of media on here, so proceed with caution.

Oyasumi Punpun follows the life of a single boy from his childhood, through his adulthood. Every single hardship, every single setback, every victory, every memorable experience, is shown to us through the lense of his own eyes. His childhood innocence, his teenage cynicism, his adolescent hopelessness, his own naivete, his own trauma, his own biased colour the way we view the world around him.

It genuinely makes you feel like you are wearing his skin and living his life through him.

Its disturbing, uncomfortable, dark, scary, and it's funny, hopeful, and just plain bizarre.

Great Pretender

Alright, back to light-hearted things !!!

Great Pretender might be the funniest show I've ever seen, to me, personally. Its bright, saturated, expressive animation compliments the absolute insanity of this show perfectly.

The most basic premise is that Great Pretender is about two con artists desperately trying to out-con each-other, and then it all goes downhill from there. It sets up so much of its payoff in such tiny little ways that by the time I got to the end I'd be beating myself up for missing a completely innocuous detail like a characters fucking watch, because it was actually a hint towards the overall plotline.

Its clever, it's funny, it keeps you on your toes, and it can be genuinely heartfelt and delightfully homoerotic to boot !!

It's absolutely worth the watch. Please give us season two. Please. PLEASE.

Dark Heaven*

Dark Heaven is what I'd recommend to someone if they told me they liked reading BL.

As a gay man in an interracial relationship, I've yet to find a piece of media that is quite so open direct, brutal and honest about the kids of issues that gay people, people of color, and people in interracial relationships can face.

To that end - it's extremely triggering if you're sensitive to those particular topics, as well as some other things. I'd very much recommend looking up a list of triggers first if you want to read it because it does get very, very dark. (And very NSFW). (Right from chapter one)?

But yeah - Dark Heaven is a beautiful, engaging, and at times very fluffy and humorous romance between two men, that is heavily overlaid with real actual issues people face every day (and some people don't face every day, but are nonetheless very real). It's honest, soft, and uplifting where it needs to be, despite not sugarcoating absolutely anything. It also does us the wonderful favour of not fetishizing gay men, not playing into weird creepy stereotypes, and not turning their relationship into something to gawk at.

And now, the one, the only, the piece of media that captured my heart and soul and will never ever let go:

Warrior Cats

Fucking Warrior Cats.

I have read every single book in the series. The series with over 100 books (depending on how you count them). Every official piece of media, I have consumed.

I've been reading this book series since I was 11. I've loved, cherished, lived and breathed it. I keep up with them to this day. I recently completed a chronological re-read. I've made OCs. I've roleplayed it in person and online - in fact I've been a mod in a DeviantArt roleplay group.

I HAVE A GODDAMN EXCELL SPREADSHEET WHERE I ANALYZE THE STATISTICS OF THE WARRIOR CATS NAMING SYSTEM

"Oh wow, sounds like the series is really good" WRONG

Warrior Cats is one of the worst written series I've ever read. It's poorly paced, it's full of plotholes, most characters are pieces of cardboard with a furry coat. It's dumb, nonsensical, inconsistent, and infuriating. It preaches the worst lessons I've ever heard, it's full of nothing but wasted potential, and I could honestly count the number of books I'd consider to be genuinely good on both of my hands.

Out of a 100. I've read a fucking hundred of these. Send help.

Why do I do this to myself? Why do I read them?

Because I'm autistic and my brain is holding me hostage.

Against my better judgement, I have such a deep and genuine love for this series, for the characters, for the content mostly created by the fans, for the world building.

And every single time one of these fucking cats dies, I end up tearing up.

I love Warrior Cats and you can pry it from my cold, dead hands.

...

And that's IT !!!

Thank you again for the ask, and thanks if you read it this far !! You can really tell which ones of these I'm currently hyperfixated on haha.

Again please practice discression in looking these up - I have absolutely no triggers, and so don't think twice about consuming really dark and heavy pieces of media. This is also why I didn't just opt to put in my own trigger warnings - because I don't know everything that could be potentially triggering, and I don't want to give off the impression that you know everything you need to, in case i missed anything.

Be careful and be safe !

#dungeon meshi #cats 1998 #chainsaw man #arcane #attack on titan #death parade #oyasumi punpun #great pretender #dark heaven #warrior cats #warriors

[graaaaaayy]

Book reviewwwww

Scythe by Neal Shusterman. probably spelled that wrong, but I can’t be bothered to verify. Anyway, 6.5/10

Let’s start with the list of things I liked, because that one’s shorter.

you guys better give this notes cause it takes an embarrassingly long time for my dyslexic ass to write a 1k word review with everything almost everything spelt right.

SPOILERS BELOW

Goddard died, thank goodness he was starting to get on my nerves

Faradays alive, fucking called it

the thunderhead is very intriguing I want to know more about it. Every dystopian setting has to have ‘its thing’ to set it apart, which ironically makes them similar. The thunderhead should be a plot hole ridden cliche but it stands out, because it’s very carefully written. We don’t know much about it but whatever we do know just piques one’s curiosty even further. 10/10 writing in that respect

Faraday and Curie’s romance ??? Come onnn

The goddamned High Blade himself has an illegitimate daughter. I have a love hate relationship with the dystopian genre because the mcs are usually the only ‘woke’ ones who start the revolution but here the entire frickin sycthedom is corrupted and they all know it. But nobody wants to do anything because then all hell will break loose which is exactly what we saw at the end of the book

what I didn’t like ( don’t come at me ) :

Okay, why were both citra and rowan bland as hell ? They both have exactly one personality trait. Rowan never shuts up about being the lettuce like that makes him special - have you ever heard of this concept called being the middle child buddy ? - and citra’s whole thing is that she’ll always say whatever she’s thinking. You and me both but at least that’s not my whole personality girl.

I WANT MORE BACKSTORY ABOUT THE AGE OF MORTALITY AND THE THUNDERHEADS WAY OF GOVERNING AND NANITES AND REVIVAL CENTERS AND ECONOMIC INEQUALITY AND CELEBRITIES AND LAW ENFORCEMENT AND I DIDNT GET IT. It wasn’t even to build suspense or anything it was just sloppy world building. And before you tell me an author can’t write a 700page novel, first off yes they can and second the first half of the book dragged on so much that I nearly gave up on reading it. Some of that could’ve been sacrificed for actual world building and plot.

Rowan and Citra kissed once, one time and basically the next time they have a conversation they’re proclaiming their love for each other ? And Citra had absolutely no proof that rowan hadn’t been corrupted, the guy snapped her neck, seemingly participated in goddards massacres ‘willingly’ and then she’d just heard that he shot a family member in the head during his test before the instructions were fully given. Why the hell would she just let him go ?

the way people react to scythes changed drastically from start to finish. People just went from terrified grovelling to just showing up to their parties ? What happened to ‘you never know if a scythe is just gathering people to glean them ? Especially Goddard who’s known for mass gleaning.

if the thunderhead had indeed done away with everything that was harming humanity then why didn’t it get rid of the concept of celebrities ? Consumerism still seems to exist. It’s got more cons than pros. Why isn’t there AI law enforcement that can’t succumb to bias ?

The klunky world building deserves another mention because it really pissed me off

If Goddard ( bad guy ) was smart enough to have cronies that hung on to his every word, then why couldn’t Faraday, Curie etc ( supposed good guys ) also rally together and secure allies so that they’d be ready when the inevitable uprising arrived ?

okay I know some of this is because of ‘undisclosed plot purposes ^TM’ but it could’ve been done better. That is all. Goodbye

#scythe book #book review #citra terranova #rowan damisch #scythe curie #scythe faraday #scythe goddard #scythe anastasia #scythe lucifer

[seriouslysam8]

I’ve never understood Wolfstar, Jegulus, or Drarry. Yes, Sirius and Remus were friends but they went that close. If they were would Sirius have believed Remus was a spy? Did this conversation not come up as he was gazing into his eyes or shagging his brains out? Would Remus not have tried to bail or see Sirius in jail? None of it adds up. Jegulus doesn’t make sense either. There’s no interaction between James or Regulus, if James was going to choose a Black it would be Sirius not Regulus. This is the Wolfstar gang wanting to pair James with someone else because they believe Sirius belongs to Remus. Plus, James would never date a death eater. Then there’s Drarry, and I don’t get this pairing at all. They have nothing in common other than being Seekers at quidditch which we don’t even know if that was Draco’s position or if he was placed into that because it was all that was available on the Slytherin team. Harry hates everything about Draco, his morals, his friends, his attitude, and his family, his existence, and his face. Would Harry have really cared if Draco died in the fire? Probably not. He would have felt bad for a few seconds because he’s a cabbage and maybe when Narcissa asked if Draco was alive he would have been thinking fuck I should have tried harder to save the lil bitch (although I can guarantee Harry would have lied to Narcissa about Draco because he needed to get rid of Voldemort). Rorry makes way more sense than Drarry. And don’t even get me started on Drinny. Ginny would have never let that ferret touch her and if she was forced to marry him, you best believe my girl found a way to murder the whole Malfoy family in one night. What all of these pairings have in common is Remus, Regulus, and Draco are completely off character and writer makes them the Casanova of Hogwarts. There’s nothing in the books about Remus being good looking, Regulus is decent looking but not as attractive as Sirius, and there is not even one line of Harry thinking Draco is a good looking guy. The Drarry shippers have made me hate the pairing so much that I can’t even ship Scorbus lol. I hate that kid and want him to die for just being a Malfoy 🤣. I know it’s not fair but you can thank the Drarry shippers for my hatred of Scorbus and pushing their agenda.

I agree with you on all fronts (except for Scorbus because I loooove me some Scorbus and it’s the only thing making me keep Draco alive!)

Wolfstar is like the friends to lovers trope. But I don’t think they were that close either. They thought each other were the spy!! It just doesn’t make sense. I’d love to hear how Wolfstar writers write this. Like do they just forgo canon like they do these characters personalities?? You could maybe sell me on post-Azkaban Wolfstar but they need to be in character and you need to make it make sense, you know?? Even then, I’m suspect. You’d have to do a lot of convincing for me to try it.

James dating a Death Eater?? No, makes zero sense whatsoever. James hated the dark arts. He hated Death Eaters. He would never have dated Regulus. Ever. From what I understood, the characterizations of them are bad in order to make them work.

Now, if you wanted a good friends to lovers couple, I would recommend a nice Prongsfoot or Rarry, like you said. If you want the little cabbage to be born (which I know I do), I love me a well done Jilypad. That throuple just makes sense on so many levels. I’d love to read a long fic with this couple, but I’ve only found short one shots. And, in my mind, Hinny is together in every universe… except the one where Rarry is together. End of story. Sorry, there is one universe where Hinny is not together.

As for Drarry, I view it as like a Dramione. They both make the same amount of sense and you do have to drastically change their canon personalities to make it work. I’m not a big fan of enemies to lovers. But that’s just me.

Now, I do love Scorbus. It’s very Romeo and Juliet with their forbidden love because their families hate each other. There’s not enough good Scorbus out there.

[hella1975]

this guy is the main antagonist? with NO redemption? when he was just trying to be good enough for his father to love him like he did his other siblings? WHAT

mha spoilers ahead bc i lost my shit but several points to make here. 1) he's not the MAIN antagonist he's like. villain no.3 in the rankings imo but he's a BIG hitter like defo one of the first villains u think of when u think about the series 2) THE DAD DIDN'T EVEN LOVE THE OTHER SIBLINGS!!! okay todoroki trauma time: there's enji, the dad, rei, the mum, and then the kids: touya (this guy: goes on to become the villain dabi which literally means cremation. i hate everything. hot topic ass), fuyumi (invented eldest daughter syndrome), natsuo (loml), and shouto (youngest brother that got all the attention).

so in mha the abilities are called 'quirks' and enji's ability is that he's basically a firebender, and because of that, he becomes the no.2 hero, second only to all might, who he envies with every fibre of his being. he is DESPERATE to become the no.1 hero instead of all might, but his quirk is limited bc he overheats if he overuses his fire, so when he realises he can never individually defeat all might, he decides that his legacy will. so he get a quirk marriage, which is when u marry another quirk user with the sole ambition of selective breeding high-power quirks in your children. this is illegal. off the bat, the no.2 hero is breaking the law he is literally upholding and a representative of. he marries rei, an ice user, in the hopes of producing a child able to wield both fire and ice with the ability to balance one with the other. low and behold, his first child is born. touya todoroki, my fucking guy that is driving me NUTS today. touya has his father's flames and his mother's resistance to the cold, but NO fire resistance, meaning every time he overuses his fire, he burns the fuck out of himself. still, regardless of the pain his quirk causes touya, enji trains him from the moment his quirk manifests, which is like. age 5 im pretty sure. literal full ass AGGRESSIVELY ABUSIVE combat training for this 5 year old, and regardless of the pain his quirk causes touya, he puts his all into it because he literally just wants is to impress his father like all he knows is that he's supposed to be a hero he's supposed to beat all might it's what he was BORN for it's literally the purpose of his creation and why his dad is so hard on him, so he tries tries tries, but ultimately like i said, his quirk is faulty. so enji keeps having kids, all the while abusing the fuck out of rei as he goes bc he just treats her as a breeding machine and won't let her have any input on the kids' upbringing, but fuyumi and natsuo both come out with very weak quirks and no fire so he still puts most of his faith in touya until he's literally like eight like that's his entire developmental period being the One That's Gonna Achieve Dad's Dream Of Defeating All Might. and then shouto is born. shouto, who has the Perfect Quirk. shouto, who is one of the main characters from the get-go, who we meet LONG before touya is even MENTIONED, who is one of our big protag and set to be one of the top heroes of his generation. he is literally everything touya was supposed to be, and enji throws touya aside because of it. literally completely drops touya.

and touya HATES him for it and he hates SHOUTO for it even though shouto gets subject to the exact same abuse and indoctrination and 'you're no more than a quirk to me' bullshit from their dad like NEITHER of them were ever just kids ever just enji's sons they were weapons first and foremost touya is a complete parallel of what shouto could have become but didn't and when touya's fourteen it all comes to a head and he basically burns himself alive bc he loses control of his quirk and his dad isn't there and they forget he ever existed and shouto continues to shine while touya lives in the ashes and the criminal underworld throughout his teenage years and he does terrible things and when he shows up again it's as a villain and he's treated like nothing more than some lunatic monster and im just. normal amounts of upset about it bth.

#shouto is his own BUCKETLOAD of trauma like rei went mental from so much abuse and had a breakdown when shouto was 5 #and she poured boiling water on him LITERALLY BC HE LOOKS SO MUCH LIKE HIS DAD. THAT IS IT #THAT'S HOW MUCH THIS ONE GUY FUCKED UP THAT FAMILY #AND THEY FUCKING REDEEM HIM #and tbh i could allow the redemption. i wouldn't LIKE it and it would rub me up the wrong way but id allow it #IF they redeemed touya as well. but no touya gets burned and forgotten and becomes dabi #and im supposed to take him as this two dimensional evil thing when he just wanted to be good #idk the manga isn't over yet and we're currently in a HUGELY important todoroki family arc #so it MIGHT change in his favour but recent chapters are NOT LOOKING GOOD and im tearing my hair out basically #ask #mha #mha spoilers #touya todoroki #i cant wait for rori to log on and see im not only strangers posting but about my hero academia no less #rori if u see this know my mental state is v fragile rn u do not want to be mean to me THINK before you post is it true is it helpful is it

[onestepbackwards]

Ayo, didn’t know MissingNo Anon was a preexisting Anon with its own tag. Wanted to clarifyI was both the same person who brought up MissingNo in both asks.

With MissingNo my original idea was that MissingNo would be trying to warn the viewers about impending doom of their future, but I thought of it society wise.

However, the implication that MissingNo is a result of something catastrophic a person can do to themselves sounds just as haunting.

A creature who lived a horrible life either by preexisting conditions, regrettable decisions, or something deep within their soul, binding and twisting them till they no longer belonged in any reality.

A fate worse than hell or being reincarnated into a ghost Pokémon. More of a fucked up mutation of a person that could take trillions of years to begin. It’s heavily hated for its past sins, regrets, and emotions formed into something that can’t even be distinguished. All Pokémon really dislike it.

However, Arceus would probably notice that.

Then there’s the other idea I’m recycling from another idea I had before this!

The concept of true nothingness, which is usually perceived as a black void by most people. However, MissingNo is what people see when they are close to true nothingness, it’s just an easier thing to comprehend than what’s inside it. It could hold everything that was forgotten, trying to preserve such only for it to forget, to alter, never failing nor winning.

They see all, and know many things… They are unfortunately cursed to live a life mangled and every change to fill itself as a dream existed even before Arceus came to be.

It desires company, but it’s even reality that it can't comprehend something that lives, but has no existing property. It end up fucking physics up all the time which garentees a future of endless lonliness.

Like putting a sticky note over the missing/lost center puzzle piece to an otherwise complete puzzle.

In this case, the Eldritch Flex-tape dex entry to nothingness in the Pokédex. MissingNo, the placeholder Pokémon.

MissingNo never explains itself, but it’s always focusing on the viewers, the streamers, from its cries, philosophical lessons could be learned, since nothing it says makes entirely sense, its purpose is for the viewers to fill the void with its words and create a meaning of their own. Wild, absurd, it’s all up to the people.

It cries for the streamer’s attention and to be treated like any other existing matter…only for it’s existence to fuck with reality of all things.

An endless cycle, but it always ensures to win every battle because the streamer treats it the best they can.

Since you mentioned it still stalks the player even after they leave because it wants to be heard. The stream is the most common place to see MissingNo. I believe even after the streamer gets home there will be a universal distribution of MissingNo photos from throughout the historical record.

The streamer returns…only for their very same MissingNo they are still waiting for them. Who knows how long it’s waited or how long it’s alive, but it wants a battle. It misses them.

Imagine it wiping down all the streamers Pokémon, only leaving Arceus left to battle against it. Arcues can’t defeat nothingness, but the creature retreats after it had enough fun.

It’s similar to X and Y, AZ but the roles are reversed…. MissingNo never escaping its fate of eternal lonliness.

However, it leaves a gift! MissingNo gives the streamer its own custom plate to them, to appear cool like the Nobel Pokémon. It's literally the first Gameboy model.

The other people in the game affected would be everyone, but mainly Laveton, Ingo, Adaman and Irida.

Laveton tries to study the thing, only for all his notes to simply be left as WIPS that are never completed XD. He’s exhausted.

Ingo could see faint patterns of his memories for a split second, or if it’s a skeleton, be reminded of both the flames of Chandelure and the many sparks of joltik. It’s uncanny amounts of familiar where he thinks it’s one or the other, but both?

Overthinking it doesn’t help him one bit. His memories come back faster but it’s so overstimulating, glitchy, static it hurts his head and further damages the accuracy of his gauge memories. MissingNo is trying to help, but it’s like using Auto correct, it recommendations can often steal the tang of the writings.

Adaman, who values time, the creature has no sense of age, with its appearance only getting more disturbing every second he tries to pay attention. His time is better spent on his clan than whatever floating purple L kaleidoscope it is. Time seems to stop when MissingNo is nearby, or it’s really his heart.

Irida, valuing space, MissingNo feels like it’s everywhere or it’s presence takes up all the air in the room. It gets too cold. Imagine being in literal space with no oxygen and pressure 100x stronger than a human body can handle.

Meanwhile, Kamado develops permanent insomnia after the banishment and PTSD from the thing now! He can’t even bring himself forth to attack it, and he’d rather not have the thing destroy the village.

The streamer must catch Cresselia or any psychic that helps with dreams in order to ensure he lives, without it they’ll get to see the Galaxy leader wither awake, slowly losing his sanity in the process.

Beni, yeah he ain’t ninjaing out of this one. He’s in the same boat, but MissingNo likes the guy more because he makes good food. He channels his fears into making cupcakes and keeps Kamado company as another insomnia buddy.

Volo? By the time Giratina appears, MissingNo is only watching as a noticeable constellation in the sky.

Volo didn’t know what the thing really, but he was the one to know it appeared in various texts of the past.

The Celestia people wrote very few stories surrounding it, and how the people were affected…just never the thing itself.

He tries to understand such a mythical creature, but even he feels threatened by the thing.

The streamer doesn’t get much info from the people of Hisui, only snippets of what was around it. So it’s up to the future to write what MissingNo is trying to convey to the audience.

And to add, the historical records make no sense either because it’s existence was never understood in the past either. It was old and ruined, and little connected.

Only until the stream, it’s presence skyrocketed to being one of the most documented Pokémon throughout time as an ever changing concept to fill the true nothingness.

Anyway, Call me 🎲 Anon. I’m not the same as the other MissingNo Anon seen on the other tag.

I’m also the same person who talked about how Ingo would understand the code through Sneasler.

Ah! I didn’t know there was someone else going by MissingNo anon, but that’s okay! I’ll refer to you as 🎲 anon from now on!

I really like these ideas 👀👀

Especially the idea of it being Nothing, or having been born from it.

It makes sense! It was never supposed to exist, a being made from scrapped code. It doesn’t even have a number!

These are all excellent ideas though! Especially it just wanting love and to have fun.

And also messing with Kamado. That is a huge bonus 😈

Though I feel so bad for Ingo 😭 it really wants to help, and ends up making thing’s overwhelming by accident 🥺🥺🥺

#zed.talks #ask #anon #🎲 anon #streamer au #pla #long post

[lily-drake]

Lesson 7: Always Know Your Place

Previous

Marin: Möckel! I havent seen you in aw-

Luka: its Luka.

Marin: oh- *furrows her eyebrows, whispers in Arabic* [I thought it was Möckel..]

Luka: *hums* Möckel doesn’t exist.

Marin: you.. *tilts her head* you were undercover?

Luka: yes.

Marin: you.. infiltrated..

Luka: *smiles* yes.

Marin: *grimaces* if mother knew she would have punished me for not knowing.

Luka: *grins* good thing they never found out, huh?

Marin: how did.. *furrows her eyebrows* how long?

Luka: 4 years?

Marin: how are you still alive???

Luka: *grins viciously* killed in combat. Unit down.

Marin: *hums* quite sad they never found Möckel’s body.

Luka: *nods solemnly* yes.

_____ It’s a real experience to see someone so bright and full of life… just break and melt down in front of you.

Its a real experience to see someone you’ve loved for quite some time… just drop dead all in the span of a second.

Its a real experience to see someone’s life flash on and off repeatedly for 5 minutes until… it never turns on again.

It becomes a real experience.

Until its an everyday experience.

She hates it.

_____ Marin: i don't- it’s like my emotions are shut off. Im me but not me. Im here but not here. I speak and i listen and i see people but im not THERE. IM NOT FUCKING REAL-

Jason: Marin-

Marin: *crying* I'm not real. My emotions aren't real. Im not real. Ive never been real. Marinette is real. Alice is real. Hailey is real. All my molds are real but I'M NOT! IM NOT REAL!

Jason: Marin you are-

Marin: *screams* IM NOT!

-@bambicambi

Things seemed to actually be looking up for Marin.  It had been months since she left, and no one had found her yet!  Jason visited on an on-and-off basis, and she had felt…good!  It was a strange feeling, honestly when she first truly felt it she thought she was having some sort of panic attack.  She was fighting her own villain now with her own partner–not a sidekick, but a partner, an equal–and she was free to do ct how she pleased with no interference and no one reminding her not to kill every time she so much as twitched!  Paris had actively put a block on any information that pertained to the Akuma Attacks from being able to exit the borders so she didn’t have to worry about anyone coming here and accidentally finding her.  Mother had visited briefly one other time after their first time meeting for tea, and it didn’t end with any form of bloodshed.  Everything was looking up for her, and that should have been the first sign that something bad was quickly approaching.

Marinette had been invited to the Couffaine’s home for a concert; it surprised her when the offer was first made, but she quickly accepted.  Chloe was bragging about going to XY’s concert and how she should ditch “those losers” and come with her.  Marinette simply told her she had terrible taste in music.  Chloe had crossed her arms and looked up definitely, making a ‘hmph’ noise and angling her body slightly away from Marinette.  Marinette had laughed and bumped her shoulder against Chloe’s.  Chloe simply rolled her eyes as her lips made a small upturn.

“Whatever Dupain-Cheng, he’s #1 on record charts right now.”

“Yea, but it’s all very subjective, so let’s not argue over it.  Besides, we both know that Jagged Stone is far superior.”

Chloe felt a chill run through her at Marinette’s playful tone.  Marinette still made something in the back of her mind ring loudly in alarm, but when she looked at the girl she was just smiling at her with her hands fiddling anxiously with the strap of her purse.

“What’s wrong Chloe, you seem a little frightened.”

“Ha, frightened of what?  There’s literally nothing to fear.  It would be ridiculous, utterly ridiculous of me to be afraid.”

Chloe replied insolently.  Marin knew that Chloe could sense something from her, it had thrown her off the first time she noticed Chloe could sense her.  Afterall, she had set these molds up to be perfect, she was extremely careful with how they were formed and used.  The fact that Chloe could even feel something about her besides the happy, anxious, bubbly, and sunshine girl from her was extraordinarily impressive.  Now she would never reveal that Chloe was right to be on edge, that would be a fool’s decision, she liked to tease Chloe about it though.  Never enough to make Chloe think she’s going crazy, rather small call outs to make fun of her.  It amused her greatly to see Chloe’s reactions.

When the time came to go to the concert she was shocked to see that Juleka lived on a ship.  It made her wonder if she could convince the Dupain-Cheng’s to let her get one of her own.  She wandered around and tried to help where she could, but it seemed like everyone knew what to do besides her.  That was until Anarka came and told her to get her son, Luka, from his room.  When she got to his room and they made eye contact both stared at the other in complete and utter shock.

*

“Möckel!  I-I haven’t seen you in aw-

“It’s Luka.”

He said quickly, cutting her off.  His eyes scanned the room frantically as if someone were hiding in the shadows just waiting to attack him.

“Oh-,”

Marin furrowed her brows in confusion.  Did she mix him up with someone else?  She had heard about doppelgängers before, maybe that's what this was? Under her breath she muttered,

“I thought it was Möckel…”

Luka hummed at that and once he was satisfied they were alone, leaned back and relaxed slightly against the wall.

“Möckel doesn’t exist.”

At his words things began to click into place, because she knew exactly what he meant by that statement.  Marin tilted her head slightly as confusion and disbelief bled through her voice,

“You… you were undercover?”

“Yes.” 

He stated simply, his eyes never leaving her form showing he was on guard even if he looked completely relaxed.

“You…infiltrated…”

At that Luka gave her a bright and smug smile.  He was proud of this, he found victory from having done it.

“Yes.”

Marinette grimaced at that.  She didn’t feel too terrible for never figuring it out as no one else had either, but still.  She was supposed to be one of the best, and she failed…again.  If he was aiming to kill her or anyone else in the League, would he have been successful?

“If mother knew she would have punished me for not knowing.”

Was all she could say to his smug response.  At that his smile fell to one of sympathy and pain.  After all he had seen her punishments, they were made public for a reason.

“Good thing they never found out then, huh?”

Marinette nodded dazedly before asking,

“How did… how long?”

Marin asked, her fingers twitching at her side in frustration.

“4 years?”

He said, or rather questioned.  He and Marin had interacted a few times in the League, in fact he saw her as an almost friend in the death trap.  He had never seen her like this before, this was all Marin, but it felt like she was falling apart here.  Marin’s head snapped and she stared him directly in the eyes,

“How are you still alive?!”

She yelled almost incredulously.

Luka’s grin turned vicious as he stated,

“Killed in combat.  Unit down.”

Marin hummed at that, calming down and letting her own body relax slightly.

“Quite sad they never found Möckel’s body.”

She said almost distantly, her eyes downcast with a sort of silent remembrance in her tone.  Like she had lost something important, and even if she found it it would never be the same again.  Luka nodded solemnly, remembering the battle and how all of his comrades had died.  He was the only one to make it through.  It was the perfect excuse to finally leave, to report to his superiors so that he could finally be reunited with his family.

“Yes.”

Was all he could say as the somberness of the conversation filled the room.

*

Suddenly yelling and loud noises filled the room from the outside and the ship was covered in dark purple bubbles transforming the ship into a modified red and black medieval pirate ship.  The large round window was still there and thankfully open.  

“Come on Luka, we have to get out of here!”

She said pointing to the window.  He nodded and quickly stood up, but before either could get to the window loud footsteps sounded through the halls.  Luka opened a door under the bed and pointed to it.  Marin gulped but quickly got inside, already going into battle mode.  Luka pushed her back in and started to act like she had escaped and he was about to join her.  The door was burst open and she heard Anarka yell,

“Liberty, capture him.”

The sound of chains sounded and Möc-no, Luka’s body fell to the ground.  Once she was sure she was alone she had Plagg pull the drawer out and she took a small gasp of breath, almost choking on open air.

“Alright Plagg, it’s time to get to work.”

Plagg sighed tiredly and stretched.

“Do we have to?  I’m still tired.”

Marin smiled at her little friend and gently patted his head with one of her fingers.

“I promise that once this is over I’ll make you some Camembert Danish.”

“Deal!”

“Alright, Plagg claws out.”

She whispered, afterall, she didn’t need anyone to hear her and figure it out.  She snuck out through the window and took stock of her surroundings.  They were passing by other concerts, both large and small, and they were getting far too close to the land.

“Liberty, fire!”

She watched as the sets and everything around it crumpled and died with the canon balls.  Cries and Screams pierced the air, she felt terrible with how the familiar noises almost seemed to put her mind at ease.  Quickly she made her move, blending in with the shadows as she tried to figure out what the object that needed to be broken was.  

And just her luck, she saw Mr. Bug swinging on the opposite side of where she was, easily distracting the Akumatized victim.  That wasn’t good for long term reasons, but it was good for now.  She needed to be careful though because if she was given even an ounce of good luck, it could only mean there would be Hell to pay later.  

She quietly climbed onto the deck, keeping to the shadowed areas of the ship creeping closer and closer to where the civilians were tied together in the center of the ship.  She needed to do this carefully, she couldn’t risk being spotted by the Akuma, but she also needed the kids to talk to her in case they knew where the corrupted bug was.  She quickly glanced over and watched as Mr. Bug was able to deflect the chains with his yo-yo causing the Akuma to be even angrier than before, placing even more of her focus into catching him.  Good.  The tip of her tail began to whip side to side as excitement filled her bones.  This thrill, the life or death of it all is what she lived for.  It wasn’t a game to her, she knew how serious this was, but she had lived her entire life like this, she was far too desensitized to ever feel the fear of this line of work ever again.

She reached into her belt and pulled out three small orbs that would explode on impact, each with a different purpose.  One would be smoke, the next would be an explosive, and the last one she would be able to channel her power into without having to activate her Cataclysm.  With practiced ease she threw the explosive at the Akuma, the smoke bomb at the group of kids, but held onto the last one.  She didn’t have time to focus on the Akuma and Chat, her first priority was information, so she ran as fast as she possibly could toward the kids.

They were coughing slightly, but it didn’t matter right now.

“Do any of you know where the Akuma may be?”

She demanded as soon as she was in front of them.

“Huh, Kaus Noir!”

One of them gasped excitedly.  

“Yes, now tell me, where is the Akuma?”

“It’s the compass!  A police officer came and asked if we had a docking permit, but Mom refused to show it to them.  He kept giving her senseless tickets, and I saw it fly into the Cabin.”

Juleka all but muttered.

“Thank you, I’ll take care of it.”

Marin’s senses were on high alert as her ears perked up at the sound of chains coming straight for her.  She dodged with easy grace, grabbing her staff from its holster at her lower back and extending it.  Now out of the smoke she could see what had happened.  Mr. Bug had seemed to tire the woman out quite a bit, but she had been able to chain him to the mast.  She wore an almost gleeful smirk, her eyes bright like she had already won.

“I have your bug, and if you don’t want me to run him through, you’ll hand me your Miraculous!”

Anarka demanded while pointing her sword towards Marin dramatically.  Marin simply rolled her eyes before she threw the small ball at the chains, letting them quickly decay.

“You don’t scare me, and I have more tricks up my sleeve than you’ll ever know.”

She watched as the boy jumped, landing right next to her while swinging his yo-yo in a large circle so fast it became a shield.  She stayed next to him, letting him deflect the oncoming chains.

“What's the plan Kaus?”

He asked, not even breathless.  Maybe she didn’t give him enough credit, he’s fairing far better than she thought he would these last few weeks.  She was slowly starting to trust him, and him her, it was strange.  

“Witness said that the Akuma is in the compass in the Cabin.  If you can keep her distracted a little longer I can destroy the object.”

Mr. Bug nodded.

“I’ll separate from you, so be ready for an incoming of chains.”

With her confirming nod, he moved away, racing towards Anarka at a high velocity that can only be attributed to the Miraculous.  Marin twirled her staff in a similar manner that Mr. Bug did his yo-yo, allowing her to block the chains and shield herself.  It didn’t take long for her to reach the Cabin.  Where there was once a simple wooden door now stood a large iron door with slithering chains.  She was hidden in a dark shadow, but she could tell Anarka was looking for her.  It was a pattern, she would fight Bug for 45 seconds before she would glance around for 5.  After the third time Marin began her work, the timer ticking down in her mind as focussed her energy into one more orb, this one draining her Cataclysm only a little.  She threw the orb at the door and smiled as it disappeared into ash, but now Anarka was racing towards her, riding the chains.  Marin ran into the small room yelling Cataclysm and placing her hand against the compass.  As soon as her hand brushed the device the chains encompassed her body, but it was too late, the device was already decaying.  

“NO!  What have ye done?”

Anarka yelled, falling onto her knees as purple consumed her once more.  She watched as Mr. Bug threw his yo-yo at the corrupted creature, capturing it before releasing its purified form back to the wild.  Yes, the wild, she had placed tracks on some of the other ones and none of them ever led back to anywhere except parks and the like.  She watched as he also threw a giant pair of chain breakers into the air, causing millions of Ladybugs to fly around all of Paris, fixing all of the damage that occurred, and removing the chains from around her.  

Mr. Bug lent his arm towards her, and for once, she accepted it, letting him pull her to her feet.  He smiled at her and held out his fist.  Dick had always done something similar, he had called it a “fist pump”.  She returned that as well, he smiled brightly at her, and though she didn’t feel butterflies or anything flying in her stomach, she felt settled.  Calm.  It was a nice change of pace.

“Great job today Kaus.”

“Yea, not bad yourself Mr. Bug.”

Both of their miraculous beeped, and with one last curt nod, she ran off the boat, only to subtly arch back to land back into Moc-LUKA’S room once more.

“Claws off.”

She whispered letting Plagg fly out before hiding him back in her purse where she kept cheddar cheese, because she was not smelling like camembert. He would get lots of that back in the apartment so it wasn’t like she wasn’t meeting his needs.  Luka burst through the room with wide eyes that almost seemed frightened.  He looked scared, accusatory, and almost…guilty.

“I don’t like small spaces.”

She stated, crossing her arms, as if that’s why he was looking at her like she had done something she shouldn’t have.  

“I know, sorry.  It was the only place to hide you.”

He whispered, never leaving his spot right in front of the door.  They stayed silent for a few moments longer before he finally asked,

“Why are you here?  Who’s your target?”

And didn’t that just hurt.  It felt like she had been slapped in the face, but she didn’t let him see that.

“I’m not here for the League, I left it.  They have no control over me.  I am here because I want to live my life free of anyone.  I’m here to make my own decisions, I am not here to kill.”

She stated, looking into his eyes the entire time with a hard conviction.  He stared back at her, familiar blue, calculating eyes trying to piece together her words.  Find a hidden meaning where there was none, look for the lie where she only said her truth.  

“Very well, but if I catch even a whiff of you trying to hurt my friends or family, I will not hesitate to expose you.  I may not be able to defeat you, but I can take you down with me.”

And with that, he turned and left, leaving her alone, fists clenched and face expressionless.  She could feel Plagg nuzzling her hip through the purse, it grounded her, made her feel warm, but it didn’t take away the loathing that began to once again squirm through her entire being.

___________

Two weeks after that day Jason was staring at his little sister in shock as she told him what had happened that day.  It's a real experience to see someone so bright and full of life… just break and melt down in front of you.

* It's a real experience to see someone you’ve loved for quite some time… just drop dead all in the span of a second.

It's a real experience to see someone’s life flash on and off repeatedly for 5 minutes until… it never turns on again.

It becomes a real experience.

Until it's an everyday experience.

She hates it.  Jason hates it, especially when he has to see it every time Marinette fades away to Marin.  He loved her, they kept each other sane while I’m the League and always had the others back.  Nothing would ever change that.

*

“Möckel is alive.  He goes by Luka now.  He had infiltrated the League.”

She said, spitting out the last sentence like it was an insult to her very being.  And in a way, it was.

“I know.”

Jason stated and that had Marin snapping her head to stare at him like he was insane.  He was worried she had given herself whiplash.

“You-you knew and you did not say anything?!”

“Well, I kept a close eye on him and threatened him.  But you two were getting close and you needed another person you could trust in your life.  Didn’t want to take that away unless I had to.”

It was silent for a few minutes.  Then Marin whispered,

“Möckel was a mask.  It didn’t take control of his life.  Luka is real.”

Jason was confused and didn’t understand where this was headed.  But he was sure it was nowhere good.

*

“I don’t- it’s like my emotions are shut off.  I’m me, but I’m not me.  I’m here, but I’m not here.  I speak and I listen and I see people, but I’m not THERE.  I'M NOT F*ING REAL-“

“Marin-“

Jason said softly as he tried to take her hand in his.  She moved it away quickly and hugged herself as warm tears fell down her cheeks and a sob escaped her lips.

“I’m not real.  My emotions aren’t real.  I’m not real.  I’ve never been real.  Marinette,”

She spat the name like it was the most disgusting poison she had tasted,

“is real.  Alice is real.  Hailey is real!  All my molds are real, but I’M NOT!  I'M NOT REAL!”

Jason was at a loss for words and it hurt to see her like this.  To finally have her walls fall down around her as she sobbed.  Carefully Jason maneuvered her so that she was seated in his lap while he hugged her to his chest as tightly as he could while not crushing her.  He placed a gentle kiss to the crown of her head and whispered,

“Marin, you are-“

“I’M NOT!”

She screamed, banging her fists harshly against his chest, face buried against his neck.

*

Jason was silent, letting her have a moment while he compiled his thoughts.  He, like the rest of his emotionally constipated family, was never great with words.  He had known her for so long, so many years.  He knew so many of her molds by heart, her fears, her triggers, when she was actually happy and sad, he knew her better than Damian ever would know her.  Where Dick was like a father to Damian, the same could be said of him with Marinette.  

He had always wondered when this breakdown would happen, it was a long time coming, and now that it was here he didn’t know what to do.  He knew that she had never had the opportunity to really let herself just be, especially when she was stuck with Bruce.  It turns out that seeing Möckel, or rather “Luka”, had been the thing to finally tip her over the edge.  Jason carefully ran his fingers through her hair, gently removing the knots and running his fingers softly against her scalp.  Slowly her sobs petered down to hiccups and eventually to small sniffles.  Jason was very happy that they were in one of his safe houses instead of the bakery for this conversation.

“Marin, and yes, I mean Marin, please listen to what I’m saying.”

A pause,

“I promise you, that you are not fake.  I have known you longer than Damian has, better than anyone ever will, or at least that’s what I’d like to believe.  I know who you are, you are strong, resilient, fierce, a bit of a prankster, a smartalec, and a little s*.”

“So you admit it,”

Marinette sniffled with a small chuckle.

“I am a little s*.”

Jason smirked and rolled his eyes at that.

“Yea, I admit it, you really are.  But, in a good way, because your my Little S*.”

“You really believe that Marin is real?”

She asked hesitantly.  Jason gave her a small smile and ruffled her head, earning a sharp slap.

“Of course.  I know for a fact this isn’t a mold, a facade, this is what you really feel.  This is all Marin, no one else.”

“Jason.”

She muttered,

“Hmm?”

“I’m tired.”

“I believe you.  Why don’t you take a break.  I’ll text Sabine and Tom if you want to spend the night.”

“Yes please.”

“Alright.  I’ll do it when you're ready, and don’t you dare force yourself.”

“Yes, Sir.”

Next

Taglist:

@aespades @adrestar @astrynyx @doll246 @queenz-z @toodaloo-kangaroo @crazylittlemunchkin @seraphichana @miraculous-ninjabird @dorkus-minimus @mysticsoulgirl @ritacrow-blog @snow-leopard-777 @fidget-eep @sometandomstuff333 @lady-phoenix-of-tardis @shreeing @achaoticmess1 @liquid-luck-00 @buginetye @stainedglassm @prettylittlebutterflie @laurcad123 @iloontjeboontje @heartsong18 @raeuberprinzessin @when-no-wings-do-broomsticks @jennifer-rose123 @moon5608 @corporeal-terrestrial @skitarii-alpha-c6-555 @saltysugarysembei @phantom120 @kking13 @depressed-bitchy-demon @a-slytherinish-gryffindor @iamablinkmarvelarmy @fleursroses

#maribat #mlb x dc #mlb x batman #Marin al Ghul-Wayne #Marinette is a mold #angst #fluff #hurt/comfort #jason todd #marinette is the black cat holder #Blackcat!Marinette #marinette dupain cheng #luka couffaine #emotional hurt/comfort #mental breakdown #identity crisis #Jason Todd is a good big brother #protective jason todd #assassin!marinette au #fight #based on bambicambi’s prompts