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anystalker707 · 1 year

Text

Tea at 9pm

Pairing: Vinsmoke Sanji x [gender neutral] Reader Words: ~ 4 100 Summary: You're not aware the cook had feelings for you. Tags: babygirl sanji / wholesome relationship / reader is a writer who keeps a journal with the crew's adventures / extremely fluffy ending

a/n: comfort fic once again lmao i had an existential crisis

MASTERLIST

If anyone asked what you did, it would feel like you were just a minor part of the crew, presumptuous, even, but things were different when they saw you actually get in action. In the first place, you wrote. You were a writer, author of some great novels that spreaded across the Grand Line, and secondly, you now were a Strawhat who kept a log of the crew’s adventures and fought when needed. The day Luffy recruited you was still fresh in your mind.

"So you’re a writer? You wrote all of this?" Luffy had asked thoughtfully with a hand on his chin as he eyed the piles of books. "Riiight... I need someone to write it down when I become the King of the Pirates! The news’ people always tell things wrong! Come with us!"

A smile traced your lips as you shook your head, now working on the illustration of the last island you'd been to, adding details and a little color. Sure wasn't the best drawing, but you still wanted to keep some sort of reminder from the lovely place.

The soft knock on the door came as it usually did, religiously, and there wasn't even the need for an answer before the door swung open. The click of shoes against the ground resonated through the small office-bedroom as he approached you and finally set the tray on the free space of the desk. Your and his cups were filled with hot tea as they were every night, the flavor declared by the strong smell that came along with the steam escaping from the drink.

"A lot of work today?" Sanji asked you as he took a seat on the armchair, crossing his legs.

"Not really." You shook your head. "We've been in the open sea for a couple of days already, so I'm just updating some old stuff." The drawing you showed him had been finished earlier, already properly inked and depicting part of the crew interacting at the island.

Sanji raised his eyebrows and slowly nodded, a smile decorating his face. "Does it still give you time to work on your personal stuff, though?" He took the unlit cigarette off between his lips and slipped it back into its case that belonged to the pocket on the inside of his blazer, which he ended up taking off and folding to leave it across the armchair’s arm.

“Sort of.” You shrugged a little. “I use a lot of my free time to work on it. It only gets difficult to manage when we’re down to things like when in Spypiea, Sabaody or Marineford. Even afterwards, I still need a couple of weeks to organize everything, interview you guys and stuff. We genuinely go through a lot of stuff, and you only realize it’s that much when you need to register it all down!” You chuckled a little, throwing your arms above yourself to stretch with a soft sigh. “My priority is to keep the crew’s log, though!”

“Oh? Not your career?”

“Of course not!” You shook your head. “You guys are wonderful people who once saved me and now we take care of each other. I can’t let you die—all of this die—without the story being properly told. It’s a great responsibility to keep a record of the adventures...” The words trailed off until you were lost in your thoughts instead, but you just shook your head and closed the few books you had opened after you marked all the pages, leaving untouched only the one that had the drying watercolor. Carefully, you took the still warm cup in hand, inhaling the sweet and rich smell of the tea. “Fruit?”

“Something from that island, but a fruit, indeed,” he justified, momentarily standing up so he could also get his tea. “I haven’t tried it yet, thought it would be best for the both of us to have it together. It’s important to me.”

“What if it’s bad?” You joked, turning your chair so you could face him.

“Then we throw it out the window and you write down how terrible it was so we never try it again!” He clicks his tongue in a feigned annoyance that has both of you laughing until forced to fall quiet to finally try the drink. “Well, I actually like it! You?”

You took a sip of the tea, giving yourself a moment to analyze the taste. “Good! Still not better than my favorite, but it’s still something!” The comment brought a grin to Sanji’s face as both of you shared a look.

Silence filled the room again quite comfortably, allowing you to hear the waves crashing outside. You took a look out the window and then at the clock on the table. “Who’s on the night watch today?” It’d been a while since you last left your room, probably only having done so for dinner during the last hours because Sanji wouldn’t leave you alone otherwise.

“That’s me!” His voice didn’t carry the same excitement as his face did as he looked into the cup.

“Want some company?” You offered. “I’m always up until late messing with my things, either—”

“Don’t think about it!” Sanji shook his free hand as he took a sip of the tea. “You had to wake up early today and take care of your writing this whole time, so you better have a good night of sleep! I know how those can be tiring! Mentally tiring!”

“Sanji!” You furrowed your eyebrows with a pout, but ended up just rolling your eyes once he shot you a glare, compelling him to snicker. A sigh escaped your lips as you leaned back on the chair. “I just wanted to keep you company. I want to show you some story ideas along with some drawings! Your night watch wouldn’t be so boring.”

“As much as I like your company, your rest comes first. I promise I’ll come check out all of that stuff tomorrow, okay? Besides, keep that night energy for when it’s your turn for the night watch!” Sanji lectured you despite the unfazed look you shot him before rolling your eyes—it was almost as if you weren’t the one who would take care of him during the night, either telling him to go to bed already when he cooked until too late or throwing a blanket over his shoulders because he fell asleep in the galley.

You were the first one to finish the drink, putting your empty cup away and wetting the watercolor again until Sanji stood up and placed his cup back on the tray as well.

“Don’t forget to go to sleep,” Sanji said, his face a few inches away from yours as he bent down with a hand on the back of the chair. “I’ll come here and put you to sleep if I notice you’re awake!”

“It’s not happening,” you promised him with a smile.

“Great!” Sanji wrapped an arm around your shoulders in a hug you awkwardly returned as you could, with a hand on his shoulder whilst leaning into his touch. He took the tray in hand so he could leave, wishing you a good night. His blazer was still on the armchair; you shook your head with a chuckle.

The next day, Sanji was still awake when you had breakfast. You quietly observed him swooning over Robin and Nami despite how tired he was, but your attention was on catching up with Luffy, Chopper, Franky, Brook and Usopp. Most of the day, you were locked in your office, reading in the library or drawing one of the tables on the desk, so they wouldn’t lose the opportunity of talking with you during the meals to know what you’d done so far. They loved to see the drawings of themselves, no matter how they were, always bugging you to take a look at something even on days you took off to yourself, so it was easy to spent the morning with them and later talk with Robin and Nami as well, not forgetting to go up to the Crow’s Nest for at least a few minutes to spot Zoro on a rep or two while chatting.

A little after lunch, Sanji knocked on your room’s door. “Hell, I’m really tired!”

You glanced away from your papers to see him kick off his shoes before collapsing on your bed face-first, grabbing one of the pillows to rest his head on, sort of hugging it. “Did you take a nap? You left your blazer here last night, by the way!”

“Oh, so that’s where it was this whole time, thank you! And no! I ended up preparing breakfast during the night then prepared lunch after breakfast was served,” he explained, muffled by the pillow until he turned his head to face you.

“Should’ve tried to get some sleep.” You sighed, dipping your pen in ink again.

“It’s not like that,” he groaned. “I left some food ready just in case, though, just so I can rest now. I thought I’d come talk to you first since I promised.”

You furrowed your eyebrows as you looked at the cook, pausing so you could ruffle his hair, which made him close his eyes for a moment. “Nonsense. You could’ve just gone to sleep, I’d understand it! You don’t need to sacrifice yourself.”

“Shhh, I promised.” Sanji narrowed his eyes a little. “Tell me, what did you want to show me?”

“Right... First of all, I had some retouches on the drawings I’d made for Sabaody, so I wanted you to take a look at them to make sure I’m not forgetting anything,” you mumbled while you flipped to the pages where the drawings were and handed the book to him. Through time, your chat grew slower, with sporadic and distant answers coming from Sanji until you looked at him and noticed he was actually asleep. The sight made a small smile stretch your lips before you went back to working quietly as always.

A knock on the door pulled you away from your thoughts and you looked back to see Nami’s head peeking him from the slightly-open door. “Hey, (y/n), have you seen—” She looked around for a little and fell silent.

“Seen what?”

“Actually, nevermind!” She shot you a smile. “Sorry for interrupting!”

“No worries!” You smiled, waving as she quietly closed the door once again.

The new island was filled with casinos, clubs, markets and stores with the most peculiar things that had a great part of the crew voting to stay for longer than a day since there weren’t any worries that tied you down to dates or time. Usopp, Sanji, Nami and Robin seemed excited about a particular club after you took a look at it while getting to know the city, so they invited you and Brook and it was almost impossible to refuse; you easily found yourself getting ready in front of the mirror before you left to go wait for the others with Nami and Usopp. Sanji was the last to show up, covering Nami and Robin with compliments that they already learned not to give much attention to, instead already moving to leave the ship.

“You’re looking extra good today, (y/n)!” Nami smiled, hooking her arm with yours and discreetly distancing from the rest of the group with you. “Trying to catch someone’s attention?”

“Maybe?” You chuckled. “It’s been a while since we last stopped at such a nice island, so I thought a one-night thing isn’t gonna hurt!”

Nami blinked a couple of times. “One-night thing?”

“No new crewmates!” You shook your head, contributing more to Nami’s confused look, which you also didn’t quite understand.

She hummed, looking away for a long moment. “Um, and Sanji?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well...” She breathed and shrugged a little, about to say something when she was hit on the back of the head by something and it was enough for her mood to change completely. Her teeth were gritted and eyes practically white while a vein popped on her temple as she slowly looked back to see the three men stand there quietly, pale, ready for the shouting that promptly came from her along with hits. Robin brought a hand to her mouth as she chuckled, and you sweatdropped, continuing to walk.

The night was long. You’d drunk, not a lot to do things you regretted, but enough to rather easily accept hanging out with people you’d just met, exploring the city and talking bullshit.

“Just a little longer,” the girl said as she waved at you and the two other people that trailed behind, carefully walking through the woods until you made it to a rock on top of a mountain. “It’s gonna be there.” She pointed to a spot behind the mountains of another island in the distance, where it was already lighter and it did seem like the sun would start rising in a few minutes, just as she had promised.

Even with little to help, the four of you made yourselves comfortable on the cold rock; you used one of the guys’ sweatshirt as a makeshift pillow, observing the sky quietly while they talked with each other. Despite the alcohol still in your system, what made you groggy was mostly the lack of sleep.

“Hey,” the girl said as she lay down next to you, on her side, holding herself up with an elbow. “Do you... Okay, I won’t waste time. Can I kiss you?”

You almost choked on your spit, your cheeks immediately growing warm at the question that sent your thoughts racing. At first, all you could do was sputter half words, unable to connect thoughts, until she chuckled and you decided to take a deep breath. “Okay, so, um... I’m... Well, not right now. Actually, I like someone else, a lot. I can’t picture myself kissing another person.”

“Oh. That sucks,” she sighed. “You look really nice, but I don’t think you’re staying around for long, anyways. Say more, though. Tell me about who you like.”

The time your cheeks heated up again was for another reason, with a softer feeling stirring in your chest. “He’s... I think he doesn’t like me, y’know? He’s a real flirt, but not with me. I feel like we are just great friends and it ends there. We are really close, but not the sort of close I wish it were.”

“Did you even tell him you like him?” She raised an eyebrow and you shook your head. “You should!”

“I don’t want it to hurt.” You smiled a little, but without humor.

She furrowed her eyebrows a little as if she understood your situation. “Well, maybe hurting is not a bad thing. It makes you stronger, and it would make you free to kiss other people!” She started to chuckle at the same time you did so, shaking your head a little.

You had a hand over your brow line to keep a shadow over your eyes while your shoes hung from your other hand when you returned to the ship later that same day, already tired and feeling like you’d never get back to Sunny, feeling as if you’d been run over a thousand times. All you could do once you arrived back to the ship was to sleep, only waking up again when it was already late in the afternoon, mumbling something about something being different in your bedroom before you could go for a shower.

“Whoa, look at who’s alive!” Usopp announced once you walked out to the deck, attracting a lot of pairs of eyes to you.

“Good night?” Zoro teased with a chuckle. “Even forgot you had a home!”

You rolled your eyes, shaking your head as you took a seat at a table with Robin. “Shut up, Zoro, you don’t even know how to get home by yourself!”

Given how you’d practically slept all day long, you decided to change turns with Robin and take the night watch for the day. It was a nice, warm night, so you didn’t bother staying outside with your books, illustrating the island during the night. It felt like something was missing, still. You furrowed your eyebrows and looked at the galley’s direction. There was no tea that night.

Brook took over the nightwatch halfway through the night, allowing you to sleep and wake up at a reasonable hour in the morning. Nami was the first person you ran into once you left your room, happy for finally feeling well after partying all night a day before. “Nami!”

“Oi, (y/n)!” She smiled as she approached you. “Good morning!”

“Morning!” You smiled in return. “Have you seen Sanji? He didn’t bring me tea yesterday. Actually, I didn’t see him at all, now that I think about it.”

Nami’s face fell in a way you didn’t really like, almost taking a step back as you watched her. “Hm, you see...” She sighed, with a hand on her hip. “You didn’t come back to the ship that night, so he was worried. He even tidied up your room so you didn’t need to do anything when you arrived.”

“Right...? Explains a lot.”

“And he thought you were with someone else. Like, hooking up.”

“I wasn’t but...” You shrugged. “What’s up with that?”

The expression across Nami’s face was the same as when she had seen Luffy let himself fall for Usopp’s lies for the first time. “That made him feel bad.”

“Sanji and I aren’t something, Nami.” You furrowed your eyebrows, reminded of the talk you had with the island’s residents that night.

Nami seemed as if she would explode. “Well, maybe he wishes there were?”

“I—”

“(Y/n), Sanji likes you!” She just gave up with a sigh, taking a quick look around before she continued. “He adores you! He doesn’t flirt with people anymore, he just compliments and does things for them because he’s always believed he needed to, mainly to women! Still, he doesn’t make tea for everyone, every night! He doesn’t stay up until late for anyone or makes them company during the night! I’ve never seen Sanji leave his clothes anywhere else rather than in the male quarters! Besides, he keeps one of your novels and a picture with you under his pillow! I saw it!”

That was a lot to take in. You didn’t know Sanji treated you differently in that sense, in the first place, let alone know that he liked you. It made sense now that you thought about it, of course, because he wouldn’t be spending the same amount of time with the others as well if he was there making you company for most of the day. Some nights, he would be there asleep on your bed while you worked on your books.

“Sorry,” Nami exhaled. “I really didn’t want it all to fall upon you suddenly like this, but you needed to know it already! Sanji doesn’t deserve this! Either reject him already or take care of him. He deserves someone to love him.”

You quickly nodded. “I know.”

Not a lot needed to be said. There wasn’t a lot to be said. You looked at Nami a last time before you walked right back into your room, taking a deep sigh as her words still echoed through your mind, each of them connected to a memory you held and you couldn’t help but to feel a weight in your chest—Sanji must’ve felt terrible when he noticed you disappeared at the club after you refused to dance with him so you could leave with your new friends. It would be easy to fix, at least theoretically, because your stomach churned at the thought of facing Sanji right now.

Your morning wasn’t a lot different from the others, locked in your room and staring at a white page, but the purpose of your writing was different this time. Your feelings were going to be spilled, bleeded all over a page without any filter or restriction because they needed to be understood so no one would be hurt anymore. In the end, it was beautifully folded and with Sanji written in your gold ink while sealed with wax.

Sanji was serving breakfast and chatting around, out on the deck—you double checked—when you sneaked into the galley and left the paper in a safe place, where you knew he’d find it. Hell, it was pathetic. You needed to declare your feelings through a little letter because you didn’t have the guts to face the guy yourself after unintentionally hurting his feelings. In your defense, writing was the best thing you could do.

At the same time it was relieving, you could feel anxiety bubbling under your skin. The situation would slip away from your mind at times, but at others, you felt like Sanji would show up out of sudden saying that you were going crazy. Hopefully not.

When it was night, however, the knock finally came, as it always had done before, without missing a single day, for months straight. You tensed up this time, letting him walk in and watching the tray be placed on the free space of your desk—you didn’t even know when it became instinctive to leave that side clear for the tray. Aside from the mugs, this time, there was a bite-sized sweet as well, your favorite.

“I read it.” Sanji’s voice was small, practically vulnerable. His hand was shaking when it retreated from the tray.

“Sanji—”

“I’m sorry I just concluded things!” He cut in quickly.

You furrowed your eyebrows, turning on your chair, but he didn’t meet your eyes, instead looking at the ground. “No, you did nothing wrong! I should’ve paid more attention, I just... I wasn’t communicative enough as well...” You couldn’t find the right words, express the right things, so you took a pause, standing up. He didn’t take a step back when you approached. “I’m sorry, Sanji. Don’t leave me, please. Nami helped me realize things. Sorry for the time we lost.”

Sanji was almost in the same state, with thoughts roaming around his mind without order, but lacking the courage to be voiced, though he knew he couldn’t lose the opportunity—he couldn’t lose you. “(Y/n).”

“I love you, Sanji. I know I’ve told you this before, but now I mean it in another way.”

Sanji’s face was impossibly red. His hand twitched as he reached out to you; it was as if you two were sparkles searching for each other, looking for the right time to go off, which happened exactly when you took his hand in his and let him pull you closer in a tight hug.

“I love you,” he mumbled in response, and it almost felt as if you’d explode, with your heart skipping beats and fluttering in your chest, not even knowing what it does.

It was a relief, really. A relief and a sea of happiness simultaneously because your doubts and anguishes were extinguished at the same time you were finally able to do what you’ve longed for for so long. You let your nose brush against his before your lips met. The taste and smell of tobacco was undeniable, but it still didn’t erase the fact his lips were soft, returning the care and want that you felt for him.

Sanji seemed giddy, blushing and flustered, but also excited to the point he almost didn’t know what to do with himself. He pulled you with him to sit down on the bed and took a look at you, grinning wide before taking your hands in his; he left kisses all over your knuckles then did the same over your face, needing to pause to smile because of how you giggled, and your lips were pressed together again.

You had to place a hand on his chest so you were able to pull away, climbing on the bed properly to push him down and straddle his hips, taking a moment to observe him look at you with wide eyes. “You’re beautiful,” you whispered, still feeling your heart beat strongly in your chest. Sanji’s cheeks felt warm against your palms when you cupped his face, caressing his cheeks and carefully brushing his bangs away from his face; he swallowed dryly, but never stopped you, hands placed over yours softly. “I love you, Sanji!”

Sanji’s mouth opened and closed a couple of times without saying anything until he finally said it once again. “I love you.” There wasn’t a ‘too’ because his love was independent of yours, he loved you and would do it even if you didn’t love him back. He grinned as the excitement bubbled up in his chest, making him feel all giddy again, in a way it was even hard to contain himself when you leaned in for a kiss once more.

.𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟.

#one piece #vinsmoke sanji #x reader #x male reader #x female reader #gender neutral #sanji x reader #one piece x reader #imagine #oneshot #fan fic #fan fiction #monkey d luffy #roronoa zoro #usopp #nico robin #nami #tony tony chopper

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fillinforlater · 2 years

Text

On her knees

Male Reader x Shen Xiaoting, Kim Jimin (Monday) (ft. Miyeon)

Length: 6469 words

Tags: daddy kink, like, very, very daddy kink, dub-con, dom!reader sub!idols, degradation, slutification, anal, anal creampie, tits play, clit play, humiliation, blowjob, breathplay, deepthroat, spitting on idol, tying up idol, bondage, slapping, tit slapping, rimming, a phone call lol, you are super powerful, tit fuck, curses, rivalry, cleaning up Xiaoting, taming Xiaoting brat!Xiaoting / goodgirl!Monday, polygamy ofc, threesome ofc, riding, anal virgin, tears and drool and juice and... okay that’s enough tags lmao

TW: my usual chaos of rough sex, idol degradation, curses and a lot of dom play with hints at emotional manipulation and dub-con, also ropes

Inspiration/Credit: Long ago, in a Discord chat far, far away @sooyadelicacies sent two gifs that made me lose my shit. I found my shit and we picked up this month old story and it’s now finished lol

(A/N: I hope you have fun with the (usual) Sooya degradation collab lol. Sorry for taking so long, more is on the way!)

“Hi, Daddy.”

Not again. She is so greedy, insatiable, never satisfied. You gave it to her four times already: two in the morning, one during lunch break, one in the bathroom—but even after hours of dance lessons and vocal recordings, she still craves you.

"I want to be full of your thick cock, Daddy. Let me feel your warm cum."

"Sorry, you won't get me today. It's already past 10 and I am exhausted."

"Fine. You don't want to play. Then I'll just find someone else to fuck me. Raw."

"You little shit—"

The moment you raise your voice, Xiaoting drops to her knees. Her black lace covered arms find their way behind her back and her bare knees rub on the floor of your living room. Of course she did not bother to change after her final dance practice. Her gorgeous beige dress with an antique design shows off her wide hips and puts her porcelain skin on display. Your anger keeps you from admiring her further.

"Yes, Daddy! Punish me. I'm such a disobedient little slut," Xiaoting says teasingly.

Your eyes can't look away. She does not deserve this attention. The best punishment would be to leave her unsatisfied. The logical thing would be to go to bed and get deserved rest. The most helpful thing would be to tie her up and leave her alone. However, it's to no avail. Your gaze is already wandering over her curves, those delicious, well-defined curves—and Xiaoting notices.

"Oh, you like my wide hips, Daddy? They were made just for you to grab on and slam your load into me. Would you like that~?"

"To make things clear: I don't need you. I can breed many girls, more beautiful than you. You're just a worthless toy for me."

A step towards her, then you spit. The wet impact on her face makes Xiaoting groan in ecstasy. She thinks she’s got you and every bratty reaction or remark will get her closer to get what she wants from you. It's either she pours them out of her filthy mouth or reveals her neediness and willingness to be—

"I don't care what I am, just breed me!."

Immediately, you hit her wide-ass hips with the back of my hand, before pulling back her head at the handle that are her brown locks. Rinse, then another trail of spit runs down her flushed features as she cries in pain.

"Shut up you fucking toy! Should I get Monday in here and breed her in front of you? She is such a good slut, way more worth than you."

Xiaoting smirks through the sting.

"Take us both, Daddy, if you think you can handle us, that is."

"Stupid brat! You have no idea how we play this game!"

Squeeze the flesh on Xiaoting's thighs before giving it a resounding spank. You know it doesn't take any effort to get Monday over here. Just a quick message on your phone while Xiaoting shows her greedy, needy, bratty face and wiggles her attributes. From a drawer, you grab a rope and tie Xiaoting's arms behind her back.

The door opens a minute later, with Monday walking in. The view of her outfit makes you smirk in lustful delight. Always the good girl, she decided to wear one of your favorites: skimpy, tight pants in white and a red crop-top with red see through sleeves.

"Hi, Daddy. Sorry for taking so long."

After seeing Xiaoting on the ground, she wastes no time kneeling next to her and looks at you. Those fierce eyes, something her fans adore and something that makes up a lot of her stage presence are completely different around you. She looks like an obedient puppy, ready for orders, ready to play, and happy to see the one she pledged herself to.

"It's fine. Get up."

You grab a chair and place it in front of the two girls.

"Come sit on Daddy's lap, Monday. You're such a gorgeous slut. Your ass looks great in those shorts."

Monday smiles softly and mouths a thank you while carefully planting her ass on your crotch. Your hands move under her crop top to find bare breasts underneath. This slut always does it right, you think to yourself and dive in. Your rough fondling on the mounds make Monday melt with moans as she throws herself back onto your chest.

She has always been sensitive at this part of her body. It’s of course no secret to you, as you go faster on her nipples. The supple movements of her ass on your cock become quicker, more stimulating. Combined with the sound of her sweet voice and the sight of Xiaoting's sinful body it makes your rock hard. Envy overcomes the bratty ones face.

"Play with me too, Daddy. I’m far better than Monday."

"Oh really, bitch? I think I'll enjoy Monday quite a lot. Look at her! Drooling all over herself, and she isn't even naked yet!"

Lust, though powerful, rarely makes you lose control. Spreading Monday's legs apart and revealing a damp spot right in front of Xiaoting's eyes might seem erratic, but it's planned, calculated. The effects on Xiaoting are easily predictable to you. She begins to lose control over her tongue as it leaks drool and her orbs become clouded in a haze of arousal and envy.

"Daddy," Monday mewls, "please touch me. I'm so needy for you."

Now, Xiaoting is really on the clock. If she doesn't act accordingly, your cock will soon be in Monday's delicate pussy, and you will pump her full of her seed—and Xiaoting cannot allow that. Her knees scratch over the parquet surface and turn red as she inches towards you. Her soft cheek presses against your crotch and Monday's core, making the sensitive girl groan and you scoff:

"Hey bitch! If you want to make your pitiful existence useful, remove Monday's pants.”

If this doesn't spur on their rivalry, then nothing ever will. The two were friends for years, sure, but they always competed for the No. 1 in everything. From classes, to their dance teams, even in volleyball and their orchestra. To one-up the other is a victory they both yearn for on a weekly basis, so it's no wonder that you found yourself with two gorgeous after one of them became addicted to what you can give them.

Being your No. 1 cumslut is just another competition.

"Daddy~" Xiaoting whispers as she gets up and moves behind you so her words only reach your ear, “I know you want your big cock in my tight ass, hm? It’s exclusively for you today.”

You smirk at what she tells you but you don't give in.

"You fucking brat. You think you can tempt me and just get your way?"

"What did she say, Daddy?" Monday asks.

"Xiaoting is offering her ass like a common street whore."

Monday huffs and furrows her brow in annoyance.

"But Daddy, I'm a good girl. Xiaoting isn't. She doesn't obey like I do, I—"

Monday was not ready for anal and she communicated that with you before, so it was a dirty trick that Xiaoting decided to pull to maybe turn the tables. Rejecting you could free the spot on your lap for the greedy Xiaoting.

"That's right, baby girl."

Your hand glides over Monday's bare abs, then into her skimpy shorts. You find a cleanly shaven, drenched pussy, but the most important thing is her clit. The hidden, small nub is filled with blood from her arousal.

Expertly, you begin to rub it. Monday's moans now become screams, her sizable breasts and thighs tremble as her whole body succumbs to shakes of a quickly approaching orgasm.

Xiaoting has waddled back in front of you. She tries to look confident in her plan, but mostly, she looks aroused and needy as hell. Her legs rub together, her tongue slips out at times and you know she would love to show you her bare ass and hips. Too bad she is still tied up.

"You are such a talented vocalist. I always love hearing you scream for me baby girl. Do you see this, Xiaoting? Monday gets rewarded first because she isn't a dumb fucking brat like you are. I don't understand it; you're top of your class back in school and a world class ballroom dancer yet you have no discipline when it comes to my cock."

"Daddy, it's because your cock made me dumb. It feels so good, I can't think of anything else. All the time, I think about it and want it in my slutty pussy. I'm such a dumb whore for Daddy's dick, I just want it to breed me."

Xiaoting's impressive rant is cut short when you give Monday's pussy a slap at just the right time and angle. In a piercing scream, Monday cums hard, squirt shoots out of her cunt in multiple ropes and stains her shorts and your hand.

"You sound convincing, Xiao," you say with a mocking voice, while undressing a Monday who is still on her high, "but it’s mostly lies. And your ace, it falls short if Monday offers it as well."

"Daddy,” Monday softly says,” I love you. Please, fuck me first."

Xiaoting scoffs at her rival. Monday always played a saccharine melody that would give her a better chance at getting the first bite of you.

"You're such a good girl, Monday."

You fish out your hard on and slap it against her wet folds. Xiaoting is gawking at it with every slap. She'd burst in a frenzy the moment you'd insert the cock into her rival. The seed she wants to breed her should never be in Monday’s pussy.

Your plan is a different one however.

"Monday, you are my good girl, yes?"

"Yes, Daddy. I'm a good girl for you and your cock."

"Do you know what good girls do?"

"They do what their Daddy says."

"So—"

Your slaps on her wetness stop and you adjust the light woman on your lap.

"—would you let me fuck your ass?"

Xiaoting smirks victoriously. There was no way Monday was going to let that happen, she wasn't ready. Besides that, you knew how amazing her ass was. It’s probably unbeatable. Soon, she will have you inside her and finally get her way.

Monday looks at Xiaotings gaze before resolving herself.

"Daddy… I love you. Do whatever you want with me, I'm your good girl, your good whore. F-fuck my a-ass if you want. I belong to you only."

Xiaoting's eyes widen. Shock and fear dominate her emotions, she did not expect the brunette girl to be this brave. If not for her own restraints, it would not have come this far. However, an obscene drive to watch Monday take her first cock in her ass makes her freeze and focus on the scene before her.

Monday's eyes are shut. She squeezes down her eyelids, while you feel her asshole squeeze down around your aligned and slowly penetrating tip. She is not relaxed, which makes her tight but this is clearly not comfortable for her.

"Relax, baby girl. You are so, so good for taking it. After using your perfect ass, I'll give you a special reward, okay?."

No response from her, as your lips suck on her neck shortly. You kiss your way up her delicate throat, but the tension keeps her motionless, further penetration is impossible now.

Xiaoting’s sweaty face shows a smirk. Maybe things are as expected. Monday isn't able to take your massive cock in her ass. This will be over soon, and then you will pick her ass, because it’s actually fuckable.

"Daddy, g-go slow please, it h-hurts," Monday cries softly.

In your deepest, most soothing voice, you hum into her ear:

"Relax. You're so good. I'm almost in."

Rubs on her smooth skin, your calm breath and a deep desire to win bring Monday to relax. She loosens and your cock disappears inside her puckered hole inch by inch.

"No," slips from Xiaoting's tongue.

You grin at her, but before you can say something to degrade her, your entire dick is surrounded by warmth. The tight texture of Monday's unused asshole makes you groan and praise her further:

"Oh, baby girl! You are doing so well! Where is Daddy's cock?"

"My, my ass, Daddy, you're the first and only person to—my hole, this hole is yours! It belongs to you. Sh-shape it to your will, paint it with your cum and r-ruin it with your cock, Daddy!"

Pull out a little to savor Monday's tightness.

"Such a perfect slut. Unlike someone else."

Xiaoting is on her knees again. She did not expect to lose and certainly not in such a severe manner. With her arms behind her back, she is absolutely helpless and her stupid brain forces her to watch.

And watch, she does. Her skimpy lace panties you haven't even cared about inspecting are drenched with juice. Her knees and wrists have bruises from her struggle to move. Her bratty mouth is quiet, her lips shut except for a faint whimper. Desperately, she stares at your cock and how it starts to thrust into Monday.

"How is it Monday? Do you like my cock in your ass? Do you wish you had done it earlier? Hm?”

Monday's answer is interrupted by mewls and heavy breaths:

"Y-you’re so big, Daddy, ah! T-to be honest, I-I was very scared, so I did not—fuck—want to try it."

"And what changed your mind?"

"Th-that I have to be a good girl for Daddy and that he owns all my h-holes."

"Very good answer," you coo right behind her ear, "Raise your arms, so I can see your cute breasts bounce."

Being the ever obedient girl, Monday follows your orders. You savor the sight of her well-shaven, smooth pits. How she wraps around your cock with her tight, virgin asshole leaves you groaning in joy. Who needs pace if something squeezes this intensely?

"Hey, stupid toy!" you address Xiaoting, who wordlessly kneels in between your legs, "Make yourself useful and remove Monday's top. Maybe I'll let you suck my balls if you succeed."

Xiaoting is not yet entirely mindless. With skilled movements of her legs she gets up from the ground. Because her hands are still restrained, she has to use her teeth to gently grab Monday's top and pull it over the moaning girl's head. Xiaoting's resistance falters quickly, you notice.

You then look at Xiao coldly as you fuck faster into Monday:

"You seem to have forgotten your place brat. The only fucking reason you're here is to serve me, to pleasure me. The only reason you're an idol is because of me. The only reason I am here right now is because I want to fuck you whores! You are nothing but holes for me to use."

Pulling out your phone you scroll through your contacts. It was just a who's who of K-pop idols, an abundance of groups from across all generations.

"I can fuck whoever I want. BLACKPINK? They would reroute their flights from Europe to here right now if I called them. TWICE? I could have all nine of them here serving me. Girls Generation? From Taeyeon to Jessica, they listen to my call. IU? I'll celebrate her anniversary soon enough.

And do you know what you are, Xiaoting? You're just an upstart, talented maybe, but don't you ever fucking think you're above any of this. Monday's getting her virgin ass stuffed by my cock because she's an obedient good girl, meanwhile you're bound up and absolutely useless all because you decided to throw a tantrum to the one person who built you with a single whisper.”

Xiaoting falls back onto her knees. No words can express the magnitude of the revelation she has just witnessed. It spins her view of this world around. This ‘Daddy play’ was more than a mere kink. There was real power behind this and she maybe should’ve seen this coming.

"Can I suck your balls, Daddy?"

Xiaoting’s voice is stern, barely audible through Monday's increasing moans and screams. It’s a mask to hide the fact that she is limp to you if your contacts aren’t a well-planned fake. Once again, she underestimated you.

"No, bitch! You have to say it like you mean it. There is still brattiness in you. You might be the worst case of this I have ever seen."

One of your hands is securely at Monday's waist, to hold her in position. Fucking her harder and quicker is easy now and she has learned to stay relaxed at all times. Soon, she will cum from her ass for the first time and then she is finally three useful holes on a delicious body with a beautiful face. That is exactly how you like your sluts.

The same cannot be said about Xiaoting. Your second hand gives her puffed up cheek a small slap, then another and a third, before you knock her over with a hit for the ages. Xiaoting screams out in pain and her following words are a babbled mess:

"Please, Daddy! I need to suck your balls!"

"Wrong again, you selfish brat!

"I need, I need—

"I need to pleasure you, Daddy, please! Or else I'm a useless piece of meat! Please give me a purpose, Daddy!"

You smirk in delight and wrap your hand around Monday's throat. The idol's eyes have disappeared into the back of her head as you get her closer and closer to heaven. Her shrieks are in perfect rhythm with how you fuck her ass.

In Xiaoting's brown eyes, there is desperation, the dread of not being part of her group, of not being an idol, of not being used. She has no clue if your power really stretches to all these women you have listed, but she wouldn't dare to question her Daddy. You have finally put her into place and made her a crying, drooling, leaking mess that stains your parquet with three kinds of liquids.

"Suck on them, Xiaoting, and maybe you can have the rest that leaks out of Monday's ass."

It wasn't any of the music programs in school, or dance competitions, any of the auditions or performances on Girls Planet 999, no, this, this right here was the most important performance of Xiaoting's life. She knew that now. She knew if she didn't impress you, if she didn't suck your balls perfectly, this could all be over for her. She would be nothing because you have it all in the grasp of your hand.

Reverentially, Xiaoting inches her lips closer to your crown jewels. Right above her is Monday bouncing up and down your cock at rapid speed. She is completely in bliss, orgasms shake through her pale body and make her beautiful limbs and features glisten in sweat.

With full concentration, Xiaoting parts her lips and takes your testicle into her mouth. The feeling of her lips, her hot mouth, her delicate tongue, they make you groan and leak more of your pre-cum into Monday, who is nothing but a mindless fleshlight now.

"Don't stop!" you shout down to the sucking and licking Xiaoting "You seem to be worth something for the first time."

Your orgasm approaches quickly, your tip ready to burst, but you want to feel Xiaoting a little longer. She deserves to be this low, to get nothing, to know that she is the last you'd actually want to impregnate.

Knead Monday's bountiful bouncing breast with an eager hand, use the other to pull Xiaoting's hair back and see her sparkling eyes. The eyes of a slave, a slave for your manhood, putting an awe inducing face on your balls because she sees it as mandatory.

A final lick from the bottom side of your balls to the bottom of your shaft and you burst with Monday fully wrapped around and clenching on you.

"Pay close attention," you groan to Xiaoting as you feel the torrent of hot cum clean out Monday's ass.

Xiaoting is helpless to observe the shudder of your body as she can all but feel the millions of swimmers leave their home in your sack and diligently rush to migrate into Monday's ass. She could feel how your balls feel less full, lighter as you unloaded what should have been her prize.

Monday is helpless to stay put as she feels your spunk fill her other hole for the first time.

"Daddy, so hot! My ass, I—"

"I'm gonna use it often from now on. You have proven yourself, baby girl."

"Yes, Daddy! Fill me, my ass is yours. I love you."

Monday is left motionless. You lift her from your cock and immediately, her puckered hole clenches shut. All your baby batter remains inside her, except for a small droplet that sticks to her ass.

Xiaoting quickly tries to glide up your cock with her tongue, but you hold her hair firmly.

"Nuh uh, bitch! You don't deserve to suck it, hell, even cleaning it is too good for you. Clean Monday's ass if you want leftovers."

Xiaoting is helpless to nod and meekly turns around to try and take what she can get from Monday's ass, except Monday masterfully clenches her hole and looks back at Xiao.

"Don't even think about it. You don't deserve this. I worked hard for this by being a good girl."

Monday then turns to look at you.

"Daddy, may I clean your cock, please?"

"Get on your knees, baby girl. I'll give you what you want."

"Thank you, Daddy."

Monday shoves a distraught, almost depressed Xiaoting to the back and kneels in between your legs. She opens her mouth wide and you shove her favorite piece of meat down her throat. Monday gobbles and chokes at first, but she keeps her eyes wide and her hand in her lap, just like the best sluts you trained.

Behind her, Xiaoting gets into position. She is like an addict, doing everything for a little dose of her drug. Still bound by the restraints around her wrists, she shifts into an awkward position to get her face in front of Monday's ass creek.

No disgust or hesitation in her moves, Xiaoting immediately eats Monday's ass and tries to open the tight entrance. Monday wants to resist, but you pin her with both your hand and gaze to remain in her sucking position. Ever the obedient girl, she stays mostly calm as Xiaoting becomes violent with her slick tongue.

As much as Monday wanted to stop Xiaoting, she knew her focus should be on cleaning your cock and she would make sure she delivered in that area as well.

You look at the sight before you, two up and comers getting their training on how to please you. They weren't anywhere near the levels of some of their older peers you had at your command, but they showed promise. Especially Monday will surely fall into the category of ‘willing good girl’. Xiaoting however is still not broken the way you need her to.

"Xiaoting, who is a female idol that inspires you?" you ask seemingly random.

"Hm," she contemplates, feeling only tiny droplets of cum on the top of her tongue, yet not giving up, "Miyeon-unnie of GI-DLE, Daddy. I adore her beauty."

"You have good taste. She looks amazing, especially in the new blonde hair style. It's funny: I made her so addicted to anal, she doesn't even want to be bred anymore. Nowadays, I'm glad some other guys can satisfy this lady, cause we both just don't have time for hour long anal sessions."

Out of a random mood, you pinch Monday's nose and watch her give you a puzzled look.

"Baby girl, would you please take it all for Daddy?"

It's not a plea, but a command, and Monday knows. She nods, a little scared of what's to come, but still goes down. Her tight throat presses on your hardening cock and the lack of air quickly makes her gag.

"Stay. Stay. Stay," you repeat calmly, Monday's nose firmly closed with your digits. Large globs of saliva begin to run down your shaft, balls—and then drip onto your floor.

"Good job," you coo while Monday fears for her life because of lack of oxygen in her lungs. Good girls go all the way for their Daddy and she does, even when her lips are blue and cheeks stained by tears.

You pull her off your cock and a final rain of saliva rains down. Slowly you back off and take Monday with you. She takes deep breaths and you caress her cheek with a soft smile.

"You have proven yourself. I'm impressed, you really are a masterpiece, maybe the best of this generation."

"Th-thank y-you, Daddy."

"I'll give you a gift later. Now, let's watch this bitch clean the floor with her tongue."

You shoot Xiaoting a look and she obeys. She drags her tongue on the floor to try and sop up any remaining particles of cum that remain in the sea of Monday’s saliva.

"Don't stop licking until I say so. Monday, keep sucking my cock will you?"

As they do so, you bring your phone to your face and push a couple buttons letting it ring. The facetime call starts and a familiar face pops up on screen.

"Daddy! It really is you!"

Miyeon's voice is filled with delight and excitement. Her face on your screen expresses the same emotions, just with a hint of naughtiness in her expression. A lip bite from her with that blonde hair and crimson lips would be deadly for any of her fans.

Not for you however. You made her like this.

"Hey, Miyeon. You look amazing. Nice to see that you picked up so quickly. I bet your schedule is tight."

"Not as tight as me though," she giggles as you shut your mouth to not groan at what Monday's mouth does.

"I always have time for you. I just got back from another shooting. You'll love our new music video~"

"Mhmmm, I bet I will. If I do, I'll be sure to come and reward you. AndYuqi. And Shuhua. And, anyways, I called you because a younger idol told me you were her inspiration."

You flip the camera around and Miyeon doesn't even bat an eye at seeing two naked girls on your apartment floor, one sucking your cock and the other licking the floor.

"Now, the one sucking my cock is Monday, she's a good girl. The other in the back is Xiaoting and she has been rather difficult."

Both Monday and Xiaoting were shocked to varying degrees. For Monday, being fully nude and exposed like this was a new experience which made her blush. The lack of oxygen from before however lowered her rationale significantly, so she continues to suck your cock diligently.

For Xiaoting, the revelation that you really did know other Sunbaenims leaves her in even more fear than before. Your power must be far beyond what she could imagine, and if she continued to piss you off, her idol career might be in trouble. She puckers her lips and sucks the drool in like a vacuum cleaner, anything to increase Daddy’s approval.

Miyeon is unbothered and looks at Xiaoting.

"Hmm, I see why you chose her Daddy. I'm sorry to hear she's being disobedient. Maybe she's not worthy of you. You can always have me come over and satisfy you, Daddy, you know that."

"I know, Miyeon. You have always been eager and great at finding my needs. You deserve a great comeback with no distractions and extra tasks, so don't sweat it. Now, do you know what I should do to make her really understand and accept her role? She seems to do what I tell her, but doesn't like it."

"Well, she seems to enjoy licking and sucking your floor clean. Look at her tongue lapping it up like a dog and her lips, sucking on it like it's your cock. What even is that? Girl juice?"

"Nah, it's Monday's—fuck—saliva, mixed with rests of my cum. That's the only reason why she is so eager, I assume."

"Hmm," Miyeon ponders and taps her chin, "Show me Monday again. Does she look like she loves it?"

You point the camera back down and hear Xiaoting whimper in the background. Her dress gets stained by the rest of the saliva as she gives up on drinking it all.

"Look at her!" you say proudly, caressing Monday's hair, "She is a great pet. Was hesitant to take it in the ass, but today I pumped it full and she is keeping it clenched."

"Aww, and she looks so genuine! Daddy, you made another super star. Her feisty eyes look amazing like this. You better fill her cute mouth~"

"Shut up!" you laugh. Only idols that have proven themselves are allowed such banter, and Miyeon has definitely earned this right in the past. Her full-nelson truly is next level.

While still joking around with Miyeon, you give Monday no warning and suddenly blast your second load into her throat.

"Daddy!" Miyeon laughs over the phone and then pouts, "You're making me wet. I'm getting jealous!"

Miyeon then directs her attention to Xiaoting.

"I'm one of your role models? Then you should behave for Daddy. Do you have any idea how many other girls he could fuck? All I see is a spoiled brat who is wasting my Daddy's time."

"Sun-sunbaenim, I—"

"Shh. Look! He is filling his other slut again and you still fight it. I thought you wanted his glorious cum."

"I-I really want it!"

"Then act like it!"

Miyeon then turns her voice back towards you.

"I hope I helped, Daddy. I know some of the Rookies can be a pain, but they learn eventually. I have to go but I'll be thinking of you tonight and I'll be sure to send you some photos. Come fuck me soon, okay? I got a pedicure and my nails are white."

"Ugh, you are so needy! Just find a fanboy or use Yuqi. I heard she is good with a strap."

Miyeon just giggles. Before waving you goodbye, she lowers her phone and lifts up her top. Beneath it, she wears a bra, but it is so thin and skimpy, her nipples poke through and leave little to the imagination.

"Love you, Daddy~"

Then the call ends. You groan, somewhat annoyed at Miyeon being overtly teasing, but Monday doing her final, gentle clean-up of your cock, makes you smile. She looks very, very much exhausted. You tap her temple and point at the large, red designer couch.

"You can take a rest over there. Blankets are in the box behind it, if you're cold. Don't want you to catch a cold. You've been naked the whole time."

"You're too kind, Daddy," Monday says with a hoarse voice. The thorough usage of her throat made her incapable of speaking longer sentences so she just waddles away slowly.

"You, however, are still in your skimpy dress, with the same attitude, same shackles, same posture. There is no cock in you, no pleasure, no cum. Do you understand why? Do you finally realize that resisting me is futile? That your little rebellion of neediness was absolutely stupid?"

Xiaoting lowers her head in shame.

"You think you're the only one brat? I have whores far better than anyone in your generation! Do you think that Jessica Jung got as far as she did in SNSD by herself? Or Kwon Yuri? You think IU moved beyond being dirt poor with just her talent? And do you think I haven't tamed my share of disobedient, pretentious dumb sluts? Doyeon, Somi, Yena—I’ve tamed countless brats. You are so out of your depth, Xiaoting. Don't you ever fucking forget your place."

"Yes, Daddy. I'm sorry, Daddy."

"Let’s make something clear: What are you?" you shout with harshness, putting even drill sergeants to shame.

"I-I, uh—"

You create a makeshift ponytail out of her messy hair and yank her head up. She is red all over. A picture of shame.

"What the fuck are you?"

"I'm a good girl! A good girl who needs a Daddy!"

"Wrong!"

A slap across Xiaoting's cheek. A new kind of redness makes its painful imprint on her slutty face.

"I'm—I'm a slut! A whore, desperate for Daddy's milk—"

"Wrong again, you dumb bimbo!"

This time, your hatred for her stupid dress gets the better of you. You tear it apart and free Xiaoting's impressive melons with their stiff nipples. They swing at the release and they swing more when you smack them once from side to side. Xiaoting leans back and cries. The lower part of her dress is drenched in Monday's saliva and her own pussy juice.

"I'm a toy! I'm nothing, no idol, no girl, no human—just a toy, and Daddy owns me!"

"And what do toys do?"

"They don't resist and get used."

"And when I'm bored?"

"You throw it away."

Xiaoting sobs. She looks inconsolable. You successfully put a new understanding, and along with it, a new fear into her brain. This is what she signed up for. This is her life now.

Your hold of her hair becomes lighter until you caress it slowly, then you reach over and kiss her neck gently.

"You can leave right now with zero consequences, Xiaoting. If this isn't for you, it isn't for you. You can leave right now and I won't think ill of you, your career will keep on going just fine. Make a choice."

"I'm a toy, I must be useful."

"Do you only do this, because you think you have to repay me, because I gave you this opportunity?" you ask, going further down and kissing her collarbone.

"N-no. It's because I love your, your cock, Daddy."

"You want to be a toy for my cock? Is it that good?"

"Yes," she says in a tiny voice, still whimpering and gasping for air through her tears.

"Well, now you know how this works. It's like the rules to a game, and everyone can win something. Every idol that has accepted to play this game has won something. Of course there is a main price—"

You suck at Xiaoting's nipple and make her moan through the whines and tears that stain her beautiful tears.

"—but that doesn't matter right now. If you agree, you will start from the bottom, kneeling, begging, like you do right now. It will be tough and this won't be your only punishment, but you can definitely achieve glorious goals."

"I want this, D-Daddy. Please, let me be your toy."

"Very well then."

You continue to suck at her tits, rolling your tongue around her nipple and latching yourself to them.

Xiaoting can only moan as she was finally receiving just a bit of your touch, your pleasure. She didn't deserve it, but she would enjoy it while it lasted.

Once you had your taste of her tits, you were going to put her to work.

"Xiao, give Daddy a titty fuck. This shall be a part of your test."

"Of course, Daddy. Thank you, Daddy."

You loosen the restraints around her wrists and she wiggles them off of her arms. All her struggles have left them slightly scared with bruises and cuts. She has indeed shown some determination after all.

Xiaoting puts her hands to work, not daring to touch your manhood with it, but only her breasts. She wraps the soft pillows around your base and starts to press down. It's secure in the pocket her tits form and you groan in approval.

With a tiny boost of confidence, Xiaoting starts to jerk her tits up and down to create friction, but with the lack of lubrication, it does not go smoothly. Xiaoting things for a second to not immediately put herself into a disfavorable position. She asks with a soft, submissive voice:

"Daddy, is this toy allowed to drool onto her tits?"

"Hm, Daddy will help his dumb toy. Open up."

As soon as Xiaoting opens her mouth, you stick two fingers inside and force them deep into her. Her consequent gags produce a lot of drool quickly and she can finally imagine how your cock would feel in her throat.

You go rougher, fucking her throat with your fingers until Xiaoting closes her eyes and takes your dominant attack. She leaks all over her breasts and your cock and when you pull out, she giggles in between chokes.

"Thank you, Daddy. You are so kind."

She begins jerking at a fast pace. You hiss as your cock is still sensitive, but Xiaoting's eagerness is nothing you want to stop. She enjoys finally being useful and looks at you with doey, lovey orbs that you have seen in other bratty idols.

Jessica. Rose. Yena. Almost nostalgic how you had to tame them. If Xiaoting can ever reach their level? It's up to her. If her thighs are equally good, she can definitely make an argument to be a great toy.

Xiaoting starts to use her entire upper body to stimulate you. She almost jumps up in place and takes deep breaths to puff up her chest. It's a valiant effort that certainly has its effect on you.

"Damn, toy, you've got talent. Close your lips and look at me."

Xiaoting looks up at you and jerks out your orgasm. It creams at her melons and partially shoots across her face to cover it in streaks of white. You pull out from her softness and smear the cum on her tits all over them. She giggles but you press a finger on her luscious lips to keep them shut. Something in her expression is disappointment, but she longs for nothing but your approval.

"Monday? Come over here, good girl, and clean my toy up! It's covered in your favorite glaze.

Monday, ready as always when her Daddy calls, jogs over and kneels next to Xiaoting. She starts to lick up all the cum from Xiaoting's tits like an greedy animal, before going up to her features. Careful licks, and nothing remains. It's all for Monday, she doesn't share and swallows it immediately. Xiaoting accepts it wordlessly.

In the meantime, you sit down on your soft, large chair and triumphantly look at your two sluts. At Monday's fat ass and her irresistible figure. At Xiaotings fat thighs and her irresistible face. God, they were an incredible catch.

"Monday, get on Daddy's lap. I'll fill up your pussy now.

"Oh, and Xiaoting! Come here and kneel before me. You may watch."

“Thank you, Daddy,” they say in unison.

#kpop smut #female idol smut #male reader smut #male reader insert #kepler smut #kep1er smut #xiaoting smut #shen xiaoting #weeekly smut #Monday smut #weeekly monday smut

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natalyarose · 3 days

Text

𝑅𝑒𝒻𝓁𝑒𝒸𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃𝓈 𝒶𝒷𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝓂𝓎 𝒶𝓇𝓉… (𝒽𝑒𝓁𝓁𝑜, 𝒮𝓊𝓃 𝒾𝓃 𝐵𝒽𝒶𝓇𝒶𝓃𝒾!)

~ This is a bit of a personal one lol, maybe I'm getting a little too comfy on tumblr- but hey, I like it here and I'm very grateful for everyone who's taken an interest in whatever I have to say :)

~ tagging this on Nakshatra tumblr because I feel like this reflection perfectly encapsulates Venus Nakshatras and is very aligned with the Sun moving into Bharani, the birth of Venus among the Nakshatras

// warning, cringe and angsty lmao

I have such an odd relationship with my artistic process. Unconventional? Stubborn. Sometimes just straight up bad lol.

I want to create beautiful, meaningful things, yet I have this sort of extreme resistance to being perfect or professionalism (however, somehow perfectionism and such a ruthless self-antagonism for not being 'enough' at the same time..).

It's almost like I purposely sabotage my art by intentionally leaving in mistakes, or leaving it somewhat dishevelled in protest of perfection. In hopes that the beauty and artistry still manages to shine through to the right people.

I guess it's also this thing where I feel like the imperfection makes art more unique, more exclusive- more personal & dearly held to the people who do find the beauty in it that I initially wanted to communicate. But, there is a difference between artsy, grungy, rawness and... just being crap, lazy, unrefined, undisciplined. (I'd never refer to someone else's work in this way but myself... mann).

Knowing full well that my artistic creation likely 'needs work', is not a finished product and will very likely be criticised for its' imperfection, I still have the overwhelming urge to go ahead and share it with the world/post it. In all of its' messy (again, maybe just straight up bad lol) glory. Then I wonder why I'm not gaining the traction I want haha. When I inevitably receive criticism, I get so hurt by it, I beat myself up and it eats at me to the point that I can't sleep at night, I'm up reciting the criticisms in my head and weaving them into my very own nightmare!

I don't understand why I do this to myself lmao. Later on after posting & putting myself out there, I hear that imperfection in the song, I hear those vocal parts I stubbornly left in and didn't want to redo, I see the dodgy brush strokes I refused to fix up in the name of authenticity, and I cringe. In fact, I feel such a deep shame for it all that I take everything down out of embarrassment. Even though it was fully my decision to put up something amateur sounding and imperfect.

Maybe it's something like the weight of desire for perfection is too much, so I just go 'to hell with it!'.

It's like an endless cycle for me, and I realise that over the years, if I'd just left things up online and was more patient with myself, I'd probably have cultivated a following of some sort by now, or maybe used peoples' criticisms to improve the art to a greater extent. I mean, there are people who have mentioned to me when they notice the art is imperfect and needs work, but there are just as many lovely people who have gone totally out of their way to express deep appreciation for the music/art I've put out and enjoyed it.

Here's my 'theory' as to why I do this to myself: when I create art, I don't just want to make pretty things, though I want that too. I want to be loved, and FELT. I want to bring people to this raw, vulnerable place in my heart where my ideas emerge from. I want to be loved not in spite of the imperfections, but alongside them, all encompassing.

I don't want to have to be perfect, have $1000 worth of equipment, hours and hours of recording time trying to 'get it right' in order to be understood and deemed beautiful. I don't want to show off how perfect or skilled I am either, I want to make people feel something. I want it natural.

r a w.

I kinda enjoy for art to be unfinished and slightly unpalatable on purpose.

Maybe it's a bit of entitlement on my part, expecting that even if I do a mediocre job, people will still enjoy it and see my 'talents'/message.

Truth be told though, that's how I love other people, how I enjoy others' art as well, it's not just something with me.

When I listen to artists I love, I adore seeing something beautiful, yet somehow messy and jarring. A sort of underground-esque, 'wild feminine' creation. It evokes that much more feeling and passion that something designed to be perfect just lacks to me.

I can't get into a lot of bands that are considered 'objectively good' by many people because they just sound too perfect to me- There's a lot of times I come across artists that sound technically good, very clean but my heart just can't get into it. I find myself listening and thinking 'I wish this was recorded on a toaster', or 'I wish there was a more rough sound to the vocals' lol, I crave the rawness & intimacy that imperfection and roughness lends.

Ugh, it all creates such an internal conflict- like I want my art to be seen, to be loved yet I somewhat reject things it takes for the art to be considered objectively good & well rounded.

The harsh reality might just be that just because I see the beauty in imperfection, just because I know I've got this personal, very niche vision of what 'good' sounds like/looks like in my mind, that doesn't mean other people are going to find value in the same things.

Of course, maybe all of this is just pretentious excuses & my own self-hatred manifested (I don't actively hate myself, I try to be much kinder to myself these days but yknow)

Anyway, I realised that it's the start of Bharani season in galactic centre mid-mula Ayanamsa today & I think this write up really aligns with that.

Thankyou for reading lol.. again, a bit of an angsty personal thing but maybe it could be relevant to someone, if y'all wanna know what Venusian artistic angst looks like in real time lmao 🖤🥀

#nakshatras #astrology #music #artist #aesthetic #vedic astro observations #venus

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kuroosdarling · 1 year

Text

Battle of the Bands

𓆩♡𓆪 Semi x reader

𓆩♡𓆪 wc: 3.5k

𓆩♡𓆪 cw: MDNI ! - language, rough sex/hate sex, degradation, semi eita is a fuckin tease, & a lil mean hehe, creampie, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, unprotected sex

synopsis: its the 4th annual battle of the bands and you long time rival is coming after the title.

the road to hell is paved with good sex… or something like that….

a/n: happy birthday semi semi <3 i’ve been working on this fic for far too long lmao time to release it into the wild. i hope y’all enjoy !! n tell semi happy birthday !!!

Nothing beat the rush you felt when you first got on stage. Your nerves turned into fire, melting everything around you. Any and all feelings of doubt would get caught up in the flames, clearing the way for you to light up the stage. All you needed was your trusty guitar and your fellow bandmates to get started. Each time you went on stage, the lights would beat down on you only to heighten the passion you had for what you did. Looking out to the sea of people never felt scary, in fact, it exhilarated you. They were here to see your band play. To win. And the last thing you wanted to do was disappoint them. it fueled the adrenaline that was already coursing through your veins. Buzzing, you were more than ready to give them the show of a lifetime.

But of course, there was balance in the world. With a great rush, comes an even greater buzzkill. Always lingering around corners, ready to strike whenever you had let your guard down. It hadn’t always been like this, but it easily manifested into this push and pull of power between the two of you.

Semi Eita.

The actual bane to your existence.

Tonight was your fourth time at Battle of the Bands. The last two times you guys had won first, eliciting the most applause from the crowd. It was exhilarating and you were determined to get it every year, no matter the cost.

Battle of the Bands was notorious for being a bloodbath between bands, but you never anticipated it to get so brutal. At first, it scared you shitless. So many people backstage yelling over one another, sabotaging each other’s wardrobes or even instruments. Just a constant rivalry between bands that started drama after drama.

Your bandmates usually didn’t participate in it, save for your drummer, Saeko. Normally, she didn’t start the feuds but she had no problem in finishing them. Your lead vocalist, Yachi, was always too concerned with calming her nerves before she tore it up on stage and Kiyoko, your bassist, never ran into any trouble. Probably because her boyfriend would go unleash hell on everyone if they tried it.

But this year, the energy felt different. Everyone was fired up, ready to snag the win this year. Even your bandmates seemed more fired up this time around. Probably because the winner also would win a hefty prize this year. Usually it was just bragging rights and good publicity, but this year was more intense. A record deal was at stake.

His band was up next so he was tuning one of his new guitars. The bastard insisted on getting a red one right after you had posted yours on instagram. He knew he pissed you off and it only encouraged him. He’d never been one for the petty arguments and dramatic sabotages, but when he first met you, he just couldn’t help himself.

The way you were so nervous at first, taking it all in, watching your back. No one else dared messed with you, so he had the opportunity to have you all to himself. Instantly, you found him annoying. He was always making passive aggressive comments towards you, sneering at you as you walked by, even going so far as posting a video of you tripping on twitter that regrettably went viral.

Now, you never let him get away with that kind of stuff. It still happened, but you’ve managed to get him back a few times. Snapping back at him anytime he decided to make silly comments towards you, sticking your tongue out at him anytime he decided to sneer at you, and getting him to apologize on twitter for embarrassing you. (Your fans mostly handled that one for you but it was still a sight to see his half-assed apology he wrote on his notes app uploaded onto twitter). The real kicker was when you slept with his drummer. That shut him up for a solid couple weeks.

His band took the stage, the crowd already cheering at their mere appearance. Objectively, they were a good looking group. Each of them had their own edgy style, confidence practically pouring off of them the moment they would get on the stage. It wasn’t surprising that most of the girls had pushed their way up to the front for their performance, screaming at the guys to notice them whilst tearing each other down.

Semi took it all in. Nothing beats the feeling of this. Being desired, being acknowledged, being appreciated. He was addicted to it. Plus, he got to play music with some of his favorite people in the world. His bandmates were like his brothers, and he wouldn’t be where he was today without them.

Everytime he took the stage, it was like a flip was switched. He went from being just a regular guy who worked as a civil servant to Semi Eita, the rockstar. His ultimate persona, the one that woo’d the stage and made people remember his name. His truest self, the one he wanted to be since he was a kid. He could just let loose and be himself; something he didn’t have the luxury of doing in his normal 9-5.

Looking to the side past the drawn back curtains, he can see a scowl take up your face. Another added bonus to getting up on stage. As he was one of the first acts of the night, he was able to command the crowd’s attention better. Most of them are still sober and fully invested in the music. The winner of last year’s battle had to go last, so you’d be hanging out on the side for a while.

The lights lowered down so they weren’t casted fully on his face. He was thankful that his vocalist asked them to turn it down because he’d get sweaty enough as is. With a nod to his bandmates, they were ready to play their song.

One beat, two beats, three beats, four. The stage exploded with sound, diving right into it. Semi’s hands flew over his guitar, strumming it like he was born to do it. Flashing a smile to the crowd as they all immediately go wild over the music they were playing.

Goosebumps threatened to litter your arms, so you clapped your hands over it trying to push them back down. You might’ve hated the guy, but hell, he was talented.

The moment he struck his guitar had you hooked. It was no secret that he was the band’s main talent. His guitar skills rivaled yours, which only made you hate him more.

“You’re tapping your foot.” Saeko pointed out, smirking at you.

“No I’m not, shut the fuck up.” You snap back, stilling your foot while heat rises to your face. Each band was able to play 4 songs. Your band did it so each instrument had a song they could flourish in, showing off their true skills. It’s how you’ve been able to win the past 2 years. But it looks like Semi’s band caught on, as they were all playing the best you’ve ever seen them play.

The worst part is how good he looked on stage. He had an aura about him tonight and it was drawing everyone in. Once he opened his mouth to sing, it was over. His deep voice overpowering the room, all the attention was on him. He looked like he was in his element, like this was exactly where he was meant to be.

By the end of their set, he was dripping in his own sweat. He waltzed off the stage, coming face to face with you. The smile he had on his face was almost infectious, but you held it together. The rush of coming off of a set beat any other high in the world. His face was still flushed, a droplet of sweat glided down his face and all you wanted to do was lick it off. The pre-performance nerves and his newfound confidence had your mind reeling.

Luckily, he was feeling the exact same way. His eyes were wild as they latched onto yours, a silent agreement made the moment they met. Semi somehow always seemed to find you after his sets. Usually, he’d taunt you to no end but today felt different. His hands still felt on fire from how intensely he was playing his guitar. He played his best performance to date and he couldn’t help but want to be around you. To brag, yes, but also he wanted to see your reaction — maybe get your approval.

His eyes flickered down to the revealing outfit you had decided to wear for your set today. A short dress with ripped thigh high tights. How cliche. The mood switched and he was instantly pissed off, tensing his jaw as his eyes flit back up to yours. You looked too good to be dressed like that for the crowd, it only made him more frustrated.

A small nod from you and the two of you didn’t need to say anything else as you guys made your way further backstage to one of the closets that was tucked away. You both slipped inside, Semi quickly closing the door behind you.

Semi wasted no time, roughly pushing you against the wall, caging you in between his long arms. He didn’t want to hear something snarky come out of your mouth so he placed his lips over yours, swallowing the taunting words that were itching to fire past your wicked mouth.

The after-performance glow was radiating off him, pouring over you while your pre-show nerves were still setting in. Your teeth clashed against his, knocking together in something that was too messy to keep up with. Neither of you could contain yourselves, Semi was already unbuttoning his jeans while you're pushing your panties to the side, slipping a finger in to prep yourself. It was almost too easy to lose yourself in him.

“You just crave attention don't you, the way you wear the skimpiest outfits on stage. You think the only way for you to win would be with a little fan service, huh?” He tsked, smirking and pushing aside your hands to take off your panties in a fluid motion. “Shame you don’t have more faith in your actual music.”

“Like your vocalist doesn’t. How many times do I have to see Suna shirtless for you guys to finally win? Maybe you’ll get it next year.” You fired back, clawing at his shirt so you could rip it off of him. Semi had taken his shirt off at a few shows so you knew how delicious his abs looked. You ran your fingers down them, relishing in the way he sucked in a breath. Your finger lightly traced over the tattoos he had scattered around his body.

“Looks like it’s working on you, isn’t it? Besides, I think we have a decent shot at winning tonight. I mean, even you’re so impressed that you want me to fuck you.” He grabbed you by the back of your head and pulled you in for a searing kiss. It pained you how true it was. He was on fire up there today and there was a good chance he could win. But your band had yet to play and you weren’t done. Your lips moved against his ferociously, saying everything you didn’t actually have the words for. How much you hate him, how much he frustrates you, how good he feels pressed up against you. Each second your lips were against his was a second too long but you hardly cared.

“I still hate you, you know.” You rasped into his mouth, trying to get a word in as he continued to attack your swollen lips. Fed up with you interrupting his make out session, he kisses down your throat to the junction between your neck and shoulder blade, sinking his teeth in before swirling his tongue around to soothe the sting. You let out a low hiss, holding his head in place as he sucked against it.

“Glad the feelings mutual.” He said gruffly into your skin. He needed to be inside of you, he was done with your antics for the night. The room spins as Semi turns you quickly, roughly pinning you against the wall. Your face collided with the cold concrete. It was grounding you on some level, the fog started to clear from your head. Until he pressed himself into your backside, rocking his hips against you, craving some sort of friction.

“Go on then. Stop wasting my time, I have to perform soon.” You wiggled your ass on his hard cock, trying to get him to pick up the pace. It was almost cute how much you wanted him, but Semi knew he needed you to say it. To admit to wanting him, the one you drove insane, the one you had teased long enough, your dear rival.

A low laugh filled the tiny space as you felt him tap his cock against you, taunting you and making a show over his power. Slipping his hard length between your thighs, he started to move his hips. You couldn’t hold the small whine from leaving your throat. The side of your closed fist meets the wall, frustration bubbling inside of you. “Seriously?”

“It's cute you think you’re in control here. Ask nicely and maybe I’ll consider fucking your slutty little cunt.” He slid his cock up further between your legs, brushing his tip against your clit before he continued his ministrations. The action had you clenching around nothing, desperately trying to seek for more friction from him. Your slick covered his cock, making it glide so much easier between the apex of your thighs.

“Semi please.” You moaned out, biting your fist to try and quiet yourself. He ripped your hand out of your mouth and pinned it against your back, securing it in place. The small stretch in your shoulder was welcome as Semi manhandled you, adjusting you so you were right where he wanted. He leaned closer, his voice fanning the side of your face.

“Couldn't catch that, what did you say?” He sneered, running his other hand up your side to latch onto your breasts, teasing each nipple. His cock continued to slide between your thighs, winding you up more and more.

“Semi please fuck me, need to feel you, please!” You cried out, not caring about how loud you were being. The next band was probably on stage anyway, drowning out any noises the two of you were making.

“That's funny, I don't think that’s my name.”

“Eita.” You whined softly. It was more than enough for him as he shoved his cock in your wet cunt. Filling you up deliciously, he eased himself in quickly, reluctantly feeling just as impatient as you. The stretch had you seeing stars. He didn’t bother waiting too long for you to adjust before he was slamming into you with all his might, fueled by his post-show adrenaline. With your one hand pinned against your back and the other being used to hold yourself up against the wall, all you could do was bite your lip to try and hold back your moans.

There wasn’t much of a point to it though, even though the music was playing off in the distance, anyone walking by the closet would know exactly what was going on. Between the squelching from your cunt and you and Semi’s shared moans, it wasn’t hard to figure out what was going on. Semi was entranced with the way your tight cunt sucked him in. His eyes couldn’t look away, It almost scared him how good this felt. He needed to remedy that, so he’d do it in the only way he knew how to with you.

“So tight around me. Don’t you feel pathetic? Thought you hated me and yet you’re letting me use you like some slut.” He teased in your ears. Tears burned in your eyes from his truthful words as well as how fucking good he felt. You didn’t care how pathetic it seemed, it was worth it in the end.

“Shut up Eita.” You fired back, meeting your hips to match his thrusts. His hips stuttered against yours before he picked the pace back up, invigorated. His other hand reached around you, playing with your neglected nub. “C-could say the same thing about you.”

There wasn’t any point in covering your moans so you let it out.

“You make the sluttiest sounds. Everyone will know exactly what we’re doing.” he laughed, letting go of your arm to smack your ass, enjoying the view of how much it bounced with each thrust he gave you. semi knew he wasn’t going to last much longer but he needed you to finish first. “I can feel you clenching around me so tightly. Maybe someone wants to get caught. Wouldn’t that be something? Imagine the headlines. You’d really go viral then, huh?”

“Bet you want us to get caught so you can get some clout for once.” You moaned, malice lacing your voice.

“Shut up.” He demanded, wrapping a hand around your throat. He didn’t squeeze, but he held it there, a looming, empty threat. “Just take my cock like a good little slut, yeah?”

Words escaped you as he thrusted into you harder, each thrust fueled by the hate he held for you. Or at least, that’s what he told himself. His mind reeled as your tight walls wrapped around his cock, trying to pull him even deeper.

“You gonna cum f’ me?” He asked. “Go ahead, cum all over my cock. Show me how good I make you feel.”

You keen, the coil inside of you threatening to snap. With semi’s sinful words and his talented fingers working away at your nub, you let it all go. Practically crying his name out, you cum all over his cock. He didn’t bother stopping, fucking you through your orgasm leading you right to overstimulation.

“Good girl.” He groaned, relishing in the feeling of your fluttering walls. How could something so evil feel so good? You were the perfect little sin and he knew that you were going to be the death of him. It would be a hell of a way to go. “Gonna cum in you, princess. Gonna make you my little cumdump.” Both of his hands were secured on your hips, fucking into you like his life depended on it. His hips thrusted up into you, the tip of his cock repeatedly hitting your sweetest spot.

“No, don’t you fucking dare.” You moaned out.

“Why not? You let me last time.” he smirked. He liked to remind you that no matter what you said or how you acted, you’d always come crawling back to him. The little situation between the two of you had been going on for quite some time. Besides, he knew you liked it when he came inside of you, filling you with all of his seed. The way you clenched around his cock only solidified that.

“Because this time I have to go on stage.” You clutched onto the wall, meeting his thrusts yet again, almost encouraging him to cum inside of you. The thought of you performing at battle of the bands with him cum fucked deep inside of you made him groan, hips stuttering as he was getting painfully close.

“Please.” he whispered out, even though he knew you wanted him too, he needed to hear you say it.

“Eita please cum in me.” You cried out, dangerously past the line of overstimulation and well on your way to another orgasm. He groaned as he watched your hand reach between your legs, getting yourself off to how Semi used your cunt to his pleasure.

“F-fuck.” He groaned out your name, pushing all the way into you as he came hard, gripping onto your hips so tightly you knew they’d leave a lasting reminder of this. You release as he’s still slowly thrusting into you, milking him for all he’s worth. You look backed at him while riding out your orgasm and see his head tossed back, totally fucked out. His jaw was slack as he gazed down at you with half-lidded eyes. Absolutely wiped from performing earlier and pumping all his cum into you.

You couldn’t choke back the whine that escaped you as he pulled out. His fingers quickly found your entrance, pushing all of his cum back into you. Your knees buckled from the overstimulation, but he easily caught you, slipping his fingers back out.

“Easy there. Might want to steady yourself because I think you’re up next.” He teased as you turned around to face him. He reached up to your eyes, smudging out some of the makeup that had started to run down your face. Even though he hated you, he didn’t want you to go up on stage looking totally fucked out. Besides, he planned on meeting up with you after the set anyway.

“You’re such an ass.” You huffed, pulling your panties up to keep the cum from dripping down your leg. You adjust the thigh highs that were barely hanging on — somewhat pooled around your ankles. He laughed at you struggling, enjoying the fact that you were about to get on stage with his cum buried deep inside of you. “Shut up. I hate you.”

“Sure you do.” He nodded, throwing his shirt back on. and ruffling up his hair.

“That was the last time.” you muttered, getting ready to leave the closet as you heard the band finishing up their set. You were up next and all your nerves came rushing back.

“Whatever you say princess.”

#⁺. ʚ now streaming:#semi eita #semi x reader #semi eita x reader #semi eita x you #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x reader #hq x you #hq x reader #haikyuu smut #hq smut

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pesterquestrewritten · 3 months

Note

Sorry if this is an inappropriate question to ask, but why do you want to rewrite pesterquest? Was there anything wrong with its original version, or are you just doing this for fun?

brain is a Lil Loopy rn so please excuse if this answer is semi incoherent - recovering from ankle surgery rn.

im gonna try to not harp on the original pesterquest as a project/talk about my percieved issues with it. from what I understand about the work environment where it was developed, it was hell -- poor communication, tiny budgets, little overall direction. plus every artist/writer involved was likely busy with other things at the same time (for example finishing the development of Hiveswap Act 2). they had so much going against them, and... it sorts shows in the final work, which isn't their fault. the original PQ team was passionate and cared and like. the absolutely last thing i want to do is disrespect them.

(generally also stating for the record that calling the original PQ "trash" or "replaced" is like. not good vibes. please don't do this if you're trying to enjoy PQR -- the last thing the original postcanon team needs is more harassment.)

anyway.

pqr is fanfiction, fundamentally.

i started making pqr because in september i was sick with covid, i wanted to learn renpy, and i wanted to study homestuck more. i wanted to figure out what made PQ tick, literally, figuratively, all of the above.

plus i really wanted to write a different story arc for mspar.

i also really love the side characters in Homestuck, and wish they all got more time to shine. the pqr prologue including a set of Spades Slick sprites just for a brief encounter i think helps establish what i want to do with the like. raw potential of the premise of a Homestuck visual novel.

damara is the other big thing -- i've wanted to make a story with her in it work for ages. (if anyone remembers the old MEGIDO hades mod, that was my first big public attempt. she was gonna be the protagonist, breaking out of scratch's mansion. turns out coding in renpy is WAY easier LMAO)

like. the plan wasn't even initially to have the prologue be a full damara route? i just let the writing take me where it wanted to take me. it's been deeply fun and cathartic.

the prologue's "bad end" has some incredibly intimate themes of like. inevitability, and worrying you've let everyone you love down, and i showed it to a college friend who i hadn't spoken to for ages and she set a screenshot from it as her background.

like. to me. that's pqr. that's why i make it.

pqr is the laundry room ending of rose's route, a deeply personal look into my own fears and anxieties as an author reflected back through this girl's circumstances. pqr is also the retcon ending of rose's route, a wildly stupid and indulgent romp through my own past fanfiction for a silly gag that people seemed to really love.

pqr is about dave and myself looking for a place to stay simultaneously -- pqr is about jade leaving prospit, and how i was adding to that part of the game in real-time as i dropped out of college, changing both of our destinies to something unexpected but hopefully better, at the same time.

pqr is also a silly extended sleepover scene. it's just fun to see them interact.

pqr is an excuse to turn over corners of homestuck and see if we can't peek behind them. what was it like for roxy, to think she lost joey and then find rose's meteor barely a year later? of course she'd think it's impossible for her to succeed as a mother. pqr is about finding empathy for yourself for your own mistakes, reflected back at you through homestuck characters.

because really, isn't that what we're all here for?

pqr is me coming back to my last long-abandoned attempt at an act 5 rewrite. pqr is an excuse to watch my girlfriend grow in confidence and style as she makes all the endcards and incidental art (except for joey route pt 2, but THAT was an excuse to work with a NEW friend!!!!!!!)

pqr is a friendship simulator that i am winning by having an incredibly supportive and collaborative group of friends in the dev thread who are cheering me on with every segment of text i post, friends who will hop in vc to check out the newest segment. friends like @dare0451 who literally yesterday rendered out some new audio to upgrade the June route to be even more fucking amazing and terrifying than it already was, AND DARE HASN'T EVEN PLAYED IT????? IT'S LITERALLY JUST. IT'S FRIENDSHIP MAN. PQR IS FRIENDSHIP

what the hell was this question again.

oh right.

yeah it's been fun basically. that's why i do it lol

#pesterquest rewritten #pqr #homestuck #fansim #hom3stuck #asksbox

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druidshollow · 6 months

Text

Wandering Aimlessly with Everlasting Joy and Many Small Flowers, One Quick Glance debate Eleven Rivers' health, and what should be done about it.

(this is an iterator logs-style thing I wrote for my oc lore- i havent finished it but im posting it anyways lmao) ((cw for ableist language))

MSF: I call upon the Act of Indecision.

WAEJ: Wait-

MSF: I have no intention of changing my stance, and it seems neither does Wandering Aimlessly with Everlasting Joy. I propose we bring it to vote. Unless Wander wants to change his mind?

WAEJ: No. If it needs to come to the act, then so be it.

?: What say the rest of the Council?

?: If the act has been called, then it is law.

WAEJ: Before we vote please consider the morality of this situation- we are all aware of the emotional intelligence of the iterators. What would Eleven Rivers say?

MSF: Self-preservation is natural instinct, he could only be expected to disagree with this decision. As their parents, we must make these difficult decisions for them. I am closer to Rivers than anyone else. I can assure you all that he is suffering, with no evidence of getting any better.

WAEJ: There is- just a moment- here. There is evidence that unstable neuron disease is treatable, that there are ways to ease their suffering and even decrease their memory loss. This research by Flight to the Sun, Homeward Descent and A Fleck of Flame prove this. Please, look it over.

MSF: ...I am just as aware of Flight to the Sun, Homeward Descent's research as the rest of you. We have tried these methods with Eleven Rivers. Here- records of the memory arrays reformat of 1233.864. His memory remains just as spotty as before, if not worse. This chart shows the increase in lapses of thought- something quite traumatic for an iterator to endure.

MSF: They were created with such incredible neural networks, minds we cannot even hope to comprehend living with. For a being of their status, holding thousands of memories and tens of trains of thought at once are entirely normal. For these thoughts to be interrupted is mortifying for them. When Rivers is shocked, for a moment, there is near nothing.

WAEJ: This is a symptom of UND. All iterators ailed with it experience this.

MSF: Of course. But Eleven Rivers is especially distressed by it. He has been more moody and aggressive since he's been getting worse.

?: Aggressive?

MSF: In his conduct with his group. I would think Wandering Aimlessly with Everlasting Joy would agree, having seen how he speaks to Glass Incident.

WAEJ: ...It is true that Glass has been uncomfortable with him.

MSF: He is lashing out, disturbing his group. If you will look at this chart here, I have graphed the increase in shocks and, in neuron fly analysis, the increase in anger. It is my belief that his suffering is only being exasperated, and that he will only grow increasingly aggressive.

?: Do you think Eleven Rivers could be a threat to the rest of his group?

MSF: I believe so, if not directly than indirectly.

WAEJ: Taboo law protects us, and protects his group as well. When he and the twins quarrel we split them up. Yes, it is true that his symptoms are worsening, and yes, he is growing more frustrated, but if what Many Small Flowers, One Quick Glance has demonstrated supports anything, it's the fact that he is triggered by his suffering! As their parents it is our duty to eleviate that pain!

MSF: He's treatment resistant. I've demonstrated that, if you've been paying attention.

WAEJ: It doesn't make sense. It's a science, Flowers, on a base level they are all the same!

MSF: I've never seen Glass Incident lose herself in a shocking fit before.

?: Your professionalism, please, you two.

MSF: Apologies, High Councilmen.

MSF: The depth of my argument is in the fact that Eleven Rivers has been resistant to every attempt I've made to help him. Here's another record- a partial neuron fly reset from the date 1229.236. The same as my last example was documented- brief improvement followed by a heavy decline.

?: We see he is being disturbed by his flies more and more. What is causing this increase in active UND symptoms?

MSF: The hardest part. We do not know.

WAEJ: There are teams working on finding the source of his new symptoms. They have only been at it for two major cycles.

?: That is a long time, in the smaller scheme of things.

MSF: Perhaps it would help relax you all to the idea if I demonstrated how his shut-down would work. If I may.

MSF: These are the blueprints for the Demolishers. They are designed to be as efficient as possible. It will only take 60 minor cycles for the demolition to be complete if we deploy fifteen Demolishers. Eleven Rivers will feel no pain. His power will be shut off beforehand, all his neural processes cancelled, and his puppet will be removed beforehand, as a sign of respect. He will wake right up again, perhaps as something easier done by.

WAEJ: This isn't what he would want. It's wrathful to end his life without him ever even knowing.

MSF: Wrathful? I am only concerned with his and all the other corners' well-being.

#druid writes #oc posting #rain world oc #rw ancient oc #flowers #wander #flowers is falsifying evidence here btw!! hes literally fucking lying to get what he wants #gaslights the entire far north council. shows them fake evidence and says that he has rivers best interests at heart #ableism #cw ableism

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difeisheng · 5 months

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hi ash, i think i may have asked this before, but from one asian diaspora to another, i was wondering how, if you're able to, you keep up with your chinese practice in a country that's dominated by english (and/or french canadian since ik you live in canada). bc i know a lot of suggestions are like turning your tech to the language you want to learn, put sticky notes on objects with the name in the language you want to learn, etc. but like. i feel like it doesn't matter how much i try and practice bc i'm not in a class, so i don't get it consistently enough, and the rest of my day is filled with english bc, well, that's my first language, and what is needed for my job and every day living. do you have any recs, strategies, or tips? i'm getting desperate; i used to be so much better than i am now. thanks!

hi! honestly, most of my chinese upkeep since i stopped taking mandarin classes (which tbh was relatively recent; this april, and then i'll be taking a cantonese class next term so i can learn to read it) has been a lot less I Need To Practice My Chinese through exercises or dedicated study time, and more just making sure i have frequent exposure to the language that i'm also engaged in. which is a long way to say that basically c-media is how i'm maintaining my proficiency.

i listen to music, i watch dramas and variety shows, look up other vids on bilibili that catch my interest, sometimes read articles, and (very slowly) read fanfic, with pleco open to note new words. just generally scrolling through chinese social media has helped too. having that environment i can immerse myself in helps me learn new vocabulary and practice using what i already know + listening skills, but it also doesn't feel like work or study, just dealing with things i like and am interested in. (this is important for me because i'm so exhausted when i get home every day lmao, if language upkeep outside of class felt like additional Student Time i might have tapped out on attempting it. this way turning on a c-drama at the end of the day just seems like relaxation first and then chinese exposure on top of it).

just by poking through c-drama or fandom things, i know my vocabulary has definitely expanded since i finished my last class, instead of shrunk. even though i watch c-dramas with english subtitles (or chinese and english depending on the platform), i've still picked up stuff from them, and when it comes to things like variety shows i don't rely on subtitles anymore/make myself not. you absorb a lot more of a language than you think just through exposure, imo. although as a caveat for reading specifically, picking up new characters, recognizing them, and reading has been one of the easier parts of learning chinese for me, when it's probably the inverse for a lot of people. i don't know how well just casually reading things will work as a method for others, ymmv.

the thing that i struggle with is getting opportunities to practice speaking, because it's english in my classes and usually with my friends, and either english or cantonese with my family (and i'm not living with them right now). however, i do have a lot of diaspora friends given that i'm in vancouver, and we occasionally dip into speaking mandarin or cantonese. this isn't perfect, but hopefully in future i'll be able to get more speaking experience somehow. what's also helped me with keeping up pronunciation despite these limits is learning to sing chinese songs. singing is one of my hobbies anyway, so i'll use pinyin or jyutping as a guide (getting better at sightreading characters for singing though!) and it's helped me work on certain sounds i had trouble with, and improved my accent. (watching c-dramas even if i don't speak as often has also aided on that front tbh; i listened to recordings of myself from last year and i sound less canto when i speak mandarin now compared to back then, or even earlier this year).

if you want a place to start that i personally think has helped me maintain chinese proficiency, i would choose a variety show you're interested in and try watching it without english subtitles, when you've got free time and want to do something fun. most will have chinese ones you can use to practice reading along with listening, and people usually speak at a conversational enough level that it shouldn't be too difficult to follow along (for ref, after a year and a half of heritage learner mandarin classes at uni i could watch 《我们的歌》/Our Song without english subtitles and understand most of it). variety shows are also really accessible lmao, so many have full seasons on youtube.

tl;dr it's been media exposure for me all the way down since i left classes, wherever i can get it.

not sure how actually helpful all this rambling might be, but this is what i do to keep up my chinese proficiency and keep learning in daily life nowadays! hopefully maybe you or someone else will be able to get something out of it :)

#sorry anon i hope this all connects i'm answering this late at night oop #you can ask me clarifying stuff if you want tho!#also for those of you who see this and are still building up a basic vocabulary and language foundation/grammar #please do not feel bad or kick yourself that you can't just throw yourself into the deep end on bilibili and learn chinese that way #all this was targeted to answer a specific question and assumes some kind of existing proficiency #i believe in y'all to get there one day tho!!! 努力学习加油吧 #languages #mandarin #chinese #ashton answers #anon

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urfavstargirl1 · 2 years

Text

Show Me What You've Got - Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Part 3 to the series Chemistry, Part 2

stranger things masterlist | Spotify playlist link

summary: It's Y/N and Eddie's last night working on their assignment. After a bad day at school, the two end up studying at Eddie's place. By the end of the night, the two finish their assignment, guitar playing from Y/N and Eddie ensue, heart's are opened, and Y/N's gives Eddie a surprise goodbye.

cw: yearning, angst, fluff, era-appropriate racism/sexism (optional latina!reader insert w/ minor references), hurt/comfort, shy/nerdy!reader, pre-ST4, cocky!Eddie, romance, slow burn, mutual pining, swearing

a/n: theres many so here goes:

1. This was meant to be a filler chapter but ended up being the longest one I've ever written lmao so buckle up because a lot happens 2. I realize it's highly improbable a student like Eddie and a straight A student like Y/N would be in the same class or in a chemistry class for their senior year, but for the sake of this story, let’s ~pretend~. 3. Also for any of my astrology baddies, I'm big time convinced Eddie has a pisces placement. I’m thinking maybe sagittarius sun pisces moon and Y/N is very much influenced by me and my virgo moon so i feel like this chapter (this whole series) really exemplifies that opposition/synastry lol. 4. get ready for hella yearning, teasing, flirting, hurt, comfort, and just all the cuteness

On the way home from Y/N’s house, Eddie’s mind and heart are racing. Instead of focusing on the road before him, his mind wanders to the nervous look on Y/N’s face or the adorable quiver in her lip.

When he gets to the trailer, the lights are off and his uncle’s car is nowhere to be seen. He unlocks the door and enters the dark space. He flicks on the light and trudges to his room where he flops on the bed and looks up at the ceiling fan.

He folds his hands behind his head and sighs. “Goddamn it Y/N, what are you doing to me,” he wonders aloud.

He turns over to his bedside table and rummages through the drawer. He pulls out one of his premade joints and a lighter. He props himself up on his elbows and lights it. He takes a puff and draws a long inhale. He exhales a cloud of smoke and a tension in his shoulders dissipates. His heart, however, is still pounding loudly in his chest from the moment that just transpired: he had asked Y/N, sweet, innocent, beautiful Y/N, if she’d ever had sex before.

Why did he even ask her that? Well, in the moment, it felt like the right thing to say, but now, he worries he might’ve taken things too far.

It’s not like it’s his responsibility to help her explore something as personal as her sensuality, but she just looked so lost and confused. Like she was completely in the dark and the only person who had ever shone a light on the subject was him.

He wouldn’t be surprised if sex was another thing on the list of forbidden fruits her parents ordained on her, but he at least expected her to have some sort of girlish curiosity about it, not just avoid the subject completely.

Regardless, it was obvious she had never had sex before, but despite the fact that she was clearly embarrassed about it, she never denied it. He knows for a fact that anybody else would have and made up some story to pretend like they had, but she didn’t and that was refreshing to him.

By the end of the night, he comes to the conclusion that he doesn’t regret what happened, but he knows that he needs to be careful. He doesn’t want Y/N to think he’s more of a freak than he already is. They’ve only known each other for a matter of days and he’s already managed to screw things up: that’s a record.

In a way, he’s grateful they won’t meet up tomorrow. The afforded time and space might grant him a shred of dignity back. And yet, he feels like it’ll be too long. As he takes another puff of his joint, he begins to count down the far too many hours before he’ll see her again.

—-

The next morning, Y/N wakes up with very little recollection of the night before.

Like any other life altering moment, it kept her up into the night just replaying it, thinking about it, and overthinking about it.

But in the morning, she’s not fully awake enough to remember it just yet. As she opens the blinds to her room and adjusts to the day ahead, she’s reminded of the to-do list full of assignments, activities, and tasks that’ll keep her brain occupied for a while.

The thought of Eddie finally comes to her as she stands face to face with her closet. She forgot to prepare an outfit the night before and is tasked with choosing one now. It should be a simple enough task. There’s a few outfit combinations in her wardrobe that are tried and true, but a certain pesky thought stops her in her tracks before she can even select one.

What would Eddie think?

Y/N wonders what Eddie would think of any of the outfit choices she has. Would he think this outfit is too dorky? Would he think that outfit is cool? Would he think she looked pretty in whatever it is that she wears?

Y/N shakes her head as if she could physically remove the thought that way.

She convinces herself that it doesn’t even matter how she looks because she won’t even be spending time with him after school today. But then she realizes that it doesn’t mean she won’t see him at all.

During class, she’ll have to tell him that they’ll have to meet at 4:30 tomorrow instead because she has an appointment with her guidance counselor after school.

It’ll only be a five minute conversation, so why base a whole outfit for the day based on a brief interaction, especially with a boy she has no business wanting to impress?

And yet, she finds herself wanting to look good, for him.

The realization makes her want to crawl out of her skin. She’s never been so boy crazy as to want to look good for a boy before. She sees that sort of hypnosis in her close friends who have boyfriends. From that moment forward, Y/N promised herself she wouldn’t succumb to that madness, yet here she is now.

It’s silly to be worrying about this. She has college applications and exams and other, far more important, things to be worrying about. And besides, what's the point of a high school relationship? Not that she’s even imagining a relationship with Eddie, but while she’s on the subject, she reminds herself that they’re futile.

This time next year, she’ll be away at college, many many miles away from Hawkins. And she can’t make permanent plans based on temporary people, so it’s futile to keep incorporating Eddie into her thoughts like this.

Eddie is just a boy that she has to work on an assignment with. It’s fun working with him, sure, but that’s all he is. Nothing more and nothing less… Right?

—

By the time Thursday rolls around Eddie’s been eagerly anticipating seeing Y/N again.

If he had a quarter for every glance he stole at Y/N when he thought she wasn’t looking, he could probably buy another guitar by now.

It’s not enough just to be able to see her in class, looking at her whenever she pushes up her glasses with her index finger or raises her hand and gives the correct answer to whatever problem the teacher presents them with.

And it's definitely not enough to sneak glances of her at lunch where her friend group sits on the other side of the cafeteria.

“Eddie,” Dustin waves a hand in his face.

“What?” Eddie snaps out of his daze.

“We’re voting on when to have the next campaign.” Dustin says with frustration.

“Yeah, yeah I’m down for whatever,” Eddie aloofly responds and shoos Dustin away.

Sometimes, if there’s not too many students walking past Y/N and her group of friends, Eddie will see her talking and laughing. And sometimes, he’ll blame it on his imagination, that when he sees Y/N crane her neck a few times, it’s because she too is searching for him across the sea of students.

As he sees her laugh and smile, he wonders what she talks about. He also wonders what her friends are like. And he wishes he didn’t care, but a small part of him that he tries to bury wonders what they think of him. What would they think of him and Y/N spending so much time together?

For the rest of the day, thoughts of Y/N consume Eddie’s head, and by the time school lets out, his blood is pumping rapidly in anticipation.

Eddie lingers a bit with some of the Hellfire boys, but at 4:25 makes sure to promptly make his way to wait for Y/N by the counselor’s office.

He almost wanted to bring her something. He thought about it a lot and considered bringing her a snack but he doesn’t know what her favorite candy or soda is.

He also thought about bringing her some wildflowers from the field by the parking lot, but that would be too much.

He even thought about bringing her one of his guitar picks, but worried she might think it was too weird or personal, or worse, not even care.

Maybe it’s too soon to be doing any of those things, but he just wants to do something special for Y/N and make up for the weirdness of Tuesday night.

He decides that maybe the best way to make it up to her would be to be on his best behavior and try his best to finish their assignment on a good note today.

Unfortunately, he doesn’t catch Y/N on quite a good note that afternoon.

As he excitedly waits for her by the counselors office, he hopes she’ll appreciate his punctuality, but it proves pointless when it’s 4:35 and she’s still not there.

He looks down the hall and checks the other side but it’s empty. He checks his watch again and frowns. Why is she taking so long? Did he somehow miss her?

Suddenly, the sound of a doorknob turning catches his attention and he sees Y/N sluggishly exiting the door of the guidance counselors office.

“Yeah, you too,” Y/N weakly mumbles over her shoulder before turning her head forward.

She comes out in a daze, not even seeing Eddie and his wild mane of hair as she walks out the door like a zombie.

“Y/N,” he wonders aloud in confusion. She walks slowly with her head hung low and doesn’t stop at the sound of his voice.

“Y/N wait up,” Eddie calls after her but she’s too lost in thought to hear. Eddie jogs to catch up to her and plants his feet in front of her.

He sees a deep scowl on her face and teeth gnawing on her bottom lip. “Y/N are you okay?”

Y/N stops in her tracks and looks up at him, freed from her spiraling thoughts. She breathes deeply and holds herself steady.

“Is something wrong?”

Y/N shakes her head and looks away. Eddie says her name in an unconvincing way.

“Are you okay?” Eddie asks and Y/N looks up. She doesn’t say a word with her lips, but her eyes say it all.

Y/N’s chewing on her bottom lip as she contemplates what she should say or do. None of this concerns him and he probably wouldn’t care anyway. This is her problem and her problem alone to deal with.

“You know you can tell me right?” Eddie says reassuringly as he gently places his hand on her shoulder. Y/N slowly looks from his slender fingers gently gripping on the fabric of her shirt to his leather clad arm to the tattoos peeking out from his collar to the pale skin of his neck, the strong set of his jaw, the warmth of his lips, and the sincerity of his big brown eyes.

“I know we haven’t known each other long, but whatever it is, you can tell me.”

Y/N locks eyes with Eddie and she looks back and forth between his irises. A curtain of stone cold blankness crosses her face. She can’t let Eddie see her like this. It’s embarrassing enough what he’s learned about her, but to see her so weak and emotional like this is the last straw.

“Y/N, I get it if you don’t want to talk about it, but you don’t have to deal with this alone, you know? It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

Y/N lightly gasps under her breath. Can he hear her thoughts? How does he know what she’s feeling, without her even having to say a word? If she weren’t so self-conscious about her composure, she could just cry at his words.

She doesn’t want to drag this moment out even more than it already has been, so she tries to give him enough of an explanation that he won’t ask questions and they can just move on from this unspeakably uncomfortable and embarrassing moment.

Y/N shakes her head. “It’s nothing. I just had to speak with the counselor and–” she cuts herself off.

Eddie doesn’t say anything at first. He waits for Y/N to continue her sentence, but when she doesn’t, he asks, “Did something happen in there?”

Y/N hesitates, contemplating if she should even say it out loud, let alone to Eddie. The boy is starting to get too close for comfort.

She looks at him and his big brown eyes and feels her chest tighten. The way he looks at her is unlike the way any boy has ever looked at her. There’s a vulnerability in his gaze that she herself can’t even reciprocate.

Normally, she would just keep something like this to herself, or better yet, pretend like it didn’t even happen, but the concern in his face and worry in his eyes begins to make her feel differently.

Eddie removes his hand from her shoulder and lets it hang by his side, leaving her feeling cold. “I know you probably think I won’t understand, but… but I can try.”

Y/N shakes her head. “It’s not that I think you wouldn’t understand Eddie,” Y/N responds, struggling but using every ounce of willpower in her body to maintain eye contact. “In fact, if I think about it, you might be the only one who would understand. I just… I… I don’t know. It feels weird to talk about.”

Eddie exhales and bites his lip as he looks away for a second before looking at Y/N. “Well, can you at least tell me how bad it was?”

“It was kind of bad.”

Eddie frowns. “Were you… hurt, in any way?”

“No, I didn’t get hurt,” Y/N exhales and the right corner of her lip turns up slightly, feeling somewhat relieved at having gotten a fraction of the most discouraging experience she’s ever had off her chest, even if it's to Eddie Munson.

Eddie exhales and a small smile slowly creeps onto his own face. “Good. I guess this means I don’t need to go around beating anybody up for you then, right?”

Y/N looks down and giggles. Eddie beams at her, feeling victorious at having brought a smile to her face.

“No. Not that I even believe violence is the answer, but no. And no offense, but you seem like your bark is much worse than your bite.” Y/N jokes as she starts walking. Eddie follows suit and the two make their way out of the building.

“Believe me, the Hellfire boys and I can do some real damage.”

“Yeah, like I’m entrusting a bunch of nerds to do my fighting. What’s a few matching t-shirts and dice gonna do?”

“Wow, so that’s how it is, huh? And calling us a bunch of nerds as if you yourself aren’t one,” Eddie teases and pinches Y/N’s cheek. Y/N nods with a small smirk and blush tinting her cheeks.

“You wound me, Y/N,” Eddie says and it comes off far more seductively in Y/N’s ears than the sarcasm Eddie likely intended.

When Y/N and Eddie make their way over to his van, Eddie walks Y/N to the passenger side and opens the door for her. Y/N raises a leg up to step into the van, then hesitates and brings it back down. She looks inside the van then back at Eddie who has one hand on the outside door handle and the other pressed flat against the back door.

Y/N turns around and leans against the car. She exhales and shyly says Eddie’s name. The sound is sweeter than any song Eddie’s ever heard.

“Yeah?” Eddie asks gently. Their corner of the parking lot is empty, with the after school rush having died down which is a privacy Y/N welcomes.

Seeing Y/N so guarded and unlike herself elicits an inexplicable need in Eddie to protect her. To take care of her. She’s strong on her own, but he wants her to know that she doesn’t always have to be. That she can be weak with him.

“What happened back there,” Y/N says and jerks her head in the direction of the school building, “was because of something the counselor said to me.”

Eddie looks at her and doesn’t see a sense of fear in her face anymore. Despite this, he still wishes he could touch her. He wants to run his fingers along her arm or hold her in an embrace to comfort her, but he doesn’t want to be too forward or any more forward than he already has been.

“What did she say?” He tilts his head and looks at her intensely.

“Something…weird… I just don’t understand.” Y/N shakes her head, trying to withstand the intensity of his gaze.

“What is it you don’t understand?”

“Well, she was weird about my college and major choice. I mean, the reason I even went to the guidance counselor today was to review my college application essays with her but we didn’t even get to do that. I sat down and handed them to her and before she even took a look at them, she asked where I was applying to and what I was majoring in. So I told her, you know, my dream school is the University of Chicago and I’m applying to their civil engineering program. I’ve wanted to go there for as long as I can remember.”

Y/N takes a deep breath in and out. Then, in a frustrated manner she rapidly and irritatedly explains the rest of her guidance counselor visit, “And it’s like I know what I like and what I’m good at and where I want to go and how I’m going to get there. All I needed was a second opinion on my essays. But she couldn’t even give me that. As soon as I told her my plan, she said I should set my sights on something a bit more realistic. But what do I need to be realistic about? I didn’t work my ass off to be ranked number three in our class, behind Randy and Lisa, do a million extracurriculars, and try to have stellar essays to be realstic.”

“Wow, she said that to you?”

“Yeah, and that’s not even the worst part. Then she goes on to say that she thinks I should look into the local community college or a state school here in Indiana because a person like me would be lucky to even get into one of those schools, let alone the University of Chicago.”

“A person like you? What does that even mean?” Eddie asks in disgust.

“I don’t know! But she said she wouldn’t even look over my application until I decided to apply to a state school and change my major to something a little bit easier and less intimidating.”

“What? That’s fucking bullshit,” Eddie huffs angrily and slaps his hand against the car door several inches away from where Y/N’s leaning. The noise and proximity make her jump

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you,” Eddie says as he lightly rubs his hand up and down her arm. “Anyway, what else did she say?”

“That was it,” Y/N says and Eddie nods. “I just feel so stupid, you know? I mean, next time I’ll just ask my English teacher to look over my essays.”

“Y/N,” Eddie asks, daring to include the phrase, “are you serious?”.

“What?”

“What the counselor said to you was complete and utter bullshit, you have to know that.”

Y/N shrugs while pressing her lips together and holding her breath. If she doesn’t think about it too much, then maybe the tears will go away.

“She’s wrong about you. You shouldn’t listen to the indoctrination crap she probably gives every other person in this school. You’re meant for more than Hawkins. And you’ll be a badass at engineering, I guarantee it.”

Y/N’s spirit lifts at Eddie’s words, but not as much as it should have. She smiles, but it fades before she whispers in a hurt voice, “But then why would she say that?”

“Because she’s a fucking idiot! An idiot who can’t see that you’re one of the smartest students in this school, hell this town.”

“But Eddie, she’s the guidance counselor.”

“It doesn’t make her right.” He spits.

“What? Why not?” Y/N’s voice cracks as she clutches the door for balance. If she can’t trust the elders in her life, then who can she trust?

“Look Y/N, not every adult in the world is smart or right. In fact, a lot of them are the opposite. Just look at the president, he’s both.” Eddie sneers.

Y/N wrinkles her eyebrows.

“And they don’t always have your best interest at heart either. Sometimes you have to just take what they say with a grain of salt.”

Y/N nods, eyebrows still furrowed as she makes sense of her words, “I never thought of it like that.”

“Well, you get let down enough times and you start learning the rules of this little thing called life,” Eddie smiles.

“Eddie,” Y/N responds with concern, looking at his bangs lightly blowing in the wind.

“Don’t worry about me, Y/N. Just promise that you won’t listen to what she says.”

“I can, it’s just… How could she say that to a student?”

“ Because she’s just doing her Hawkins High School job of forcing conformity onto you. But you don’t have to do that, you know.” Eddie bends down to follow her downcast line of sight till she looks him in the eye. “You don’t have to be who people want you to be.”

Y/N scrunches her eyebrows. The realizations are too intense for her. For as long as she could remember, she did what others expected of her.

“You can’t let your guidance counselors, or your teachers, or even your parents continue to tell you who you are or who you should be, Y/N. Only you get to decide who that is.”

Y/N looks away and blinks rapidly as she begins to feel tears form in her eyes. It’s too much too fast. She can only handle so many life altering realizations delivered by none other than Eddie Munson.

She opens her mouth to say something but nothing comes out. She looks up at Eddie.

“Come here,” Eddie says as he rapidly wraps his arms around her and engulfs her in a hug.

Y/N’s body is frozen in shock. She’s still processing the events of her guidance counselor’s visit and Eddie’s words, but the feeling of Eddie’s tightening arms around her and the tufts of his hair tickling the skin of her cheeks bring her back to reality.

Slowly, she slinks her arms around his middle and presses her cheek against his warm chest. She sniffles and pulls tighter. This kind of affection is foreign to her, but coming from Eddie, it’s more than welcome.

Eddie rests his chin atop her forehead and gently strokes the hair of her ponytail. She breathes him in. The scent of soap, cigarette smoke, and maybe even a bit of cologne fills her nostrils. He smells so good. Has a boy ever smelled this good before?

They hold each other like that for what feels like eternity but is only a few minutes. She almost doesn’t want to let go, but her body betrays her and she pulls away.

“Eddie,” she gently says with furrowed eyebrows.

Eddie looks at her and realizes he just made a big mistake. “I’m sorry, I thought it would help.”

“No, it’s not that. I just… can we get out of here,” Y/N gently asks.

Eddie sighs in relief and smiles, “Let’s go.”

When they climb in the car, Eddie looks at her and says, “If you want, you can listen to whatever radio station you like.”

Y/N meekly nods. It’s only car ride number three and he’s already defying his own rules for her. She knows how much it must mean for him to say that so she shyly thanks him and tunes in to her favorite station.

“When we get to the diner we can get whatever you want and just forget about all the bullshit that is Hawkins High School. Sound good?” Eddie says as he starts the van and pulls out of the parking lot. “Actually,” Y/N responds, “I don’t really feel like going to the diner today.”

“Oh,” Eddie looks from the sides of his eyes, “Where do you want to go?”

“I kind of want to go somewhere quiet. I don’t really feel like being around a lot of people right now.”

Eddie looks at her again, not really sure what she’s asking for. “Did you have anywhere in mind?”

Eddie’s already on the road, only a few minutes away from the diner, but he’d travel a hundred miles if it meant making Y/N happy.

“No, not really.”

“Uh, we could go back to my place, if that’s alright. My uncle has an early shift today so he should be gone by the time we get there.”

Y/N steps out of her emotions for a second and realizes the gravity of his invitation. She’s being invited to Eddie Munson’s home. She’ll be home alone, with a boy. Just her and Eddie. And Eddie’s room which might eventually enter the mix. Her and Eddie. Alone. In a room. His room. With his bed and-

“Does that sound okay?”

“Oh, uh, yeah that’s perfect,” Y/N’s lips answer, betraying her anxious thoughts.

“Okay,” Eddie says as he looks at his fuel gauge, noticing its dangerously close level to empty. “We might have to stop at a gas station real quick. I’m not gonna have enough to make it all the way to my trailer.”

Trailer? Y/N didn’t know Eddie lived in a trailer. It’s not a bad thing, but she’s more surprised than anything to learn this about him. Although, it makes sense if it’s just him and his uncle. She imagines how a house could get too big and too lonely that way.

“Sure thing,” Y/N nods. Somehow, the thought of stopping somewhere familiar like a gas station before delving into the unknown that is Eddie’s personal space feels slightly relieving to Y/N.

After a few minutes, Eddie pulls into the gas station and parks in front of the convenience store.

“Eddie, I thought-”

“C’mon, let’s get some snacks,” Eddie says and gets out of the van before Y/N has a chance to say anything.

Y/N follows suit, confused by his direction. She follows him and he opens the door for her to enter. A bell chimes and she walks through to find a landscape of chips, candies, and sodas galore.

She slowly makes her way to the side and looks to Eddie to lead the way. He looks down at her and says a quick, “C’mon” before strolling to the candy aisle.

“What’s your favorite candy?” Eddie says as his eyes scan the rows of sweets.

“Um, I like Hershey’s chocolate, especially the kind with almonds,” Y/N says softly.

“Ok, Hershey’s chocolate with almonds for you and pop rocks for me,” Eddie reaches out and grabs one of each candy.

“Eddie, but-”

“C’mon, let’s go get some slurpees,” Eddie cheers as he makes his way over to the slurpee machine.

“Eddie,” Y/N calls after him.

“Which one do you want, blue raspberry or cherry?”

“Um, I’m fine with just my candy,” Y/N shyly says.

“You sure,” Eddie cocks an eyebrow and Y/N nods.

“If you say so,” he raises his hands in mock defense.

He leans in and places a flat hand by his mouth and whispers, “But between you and me, if you want some later you can just have some of mine,” he winks.

Y/N blinks in confusion at Eddie. What has gotten into him?

“Think we’ll need anything else before we go?”

“Um, not really,” Y/N shrugs, not expecting him to go on this random massive snack scavenger hunt with her.

“Okay let’s hit the road then,” Eddie says as he skips over to checkout. Y/N and Eddie argue about him paying for her chocolate bar before ultimately just letting him do it.

They exit the store and get into the van. Eddie reparks the car at the closest available pump and gets out of the van. As he stands, waiting for the gas to pump into his van, Y/N sighs and looks out the window.

A car with an unrecognizable boy driving and girl riding in the passenger seat, pull up to the pump in front of them. The boy says something to the girl before leaning over the console to give her a quick peck on the lips. He gets out of the car and starts pumping gas. The girl looks over and makes eye contact with Y/N. She smiles and Y/N instinctively gives her a shy smile back.

The girl turns to look in Eddie’s direction while Y/N looks in the direction of the girl's boyfriend. The two boys see each other and do a mutual head nod.

Y/N turns over her shoulder and sees Eddie leaned against the van. One arm is fully outstretched with a palm flat against the metal of the vehicle while the other is holding the pump. His brow is furrowed in concentration, eyes cast downward, but when he feels Y/N looking at him, his eyes flick upward and he smirks at her.

Y/N’s eyes widen and cheeks redden as she rapidly swivels back in her seat. She breathes in through her nostrils, but it feels shallow.

She hears the clanking of the nozzle and shortly after, Eddie climbs back into the van.

“You ready,” he asks with a gleam in his eyes. Y/N sees the couple across from them getting ready to leave too.

“Um,” she looks over at him with a nervous smile, “Yeah.”

“Alright,” he cheerfully exclaims. He puts the gear into drive and backs out of the pumping area. Y/N resists the urge to admire how sinfully good looking he is when he drives or wonder if she and Eddie looked just as much like a couple to the boy and girl from the gas station as they did to her.

For the rest of the journey to Eddie’s trailer, Eddie makes mindless chatter, filling Y/N’s nervous silence beyond that of her favorite radio station.

“Shh, I love this song,” Y/N interrupts Eddie and raises the volume as When Doves Cry by Prince comes on.

“Yeah?” Eddie asks.

“Yeah, it’s one of my favorite Prince songs.”

Eddie briefly looks over at her and asks incredulously, “Really?”

“Yeah! Probably that and Purple Rain.”

“Hm,” Eddie nods contemplatively.

He hesitates a moment before adding “I know Prince is more of a pop star, but even I can admit, the man is an absolute beast on guitar,” Eddie comments in awe and Y/N giggles.

“He is! Maybe you should learn how to play a Prince song. Expand your heavy metal horizons and what not.”

Eddie chuckles and looks over at Y/N. “Yeah, maybe I will.”

Y/N nods and notices they’re approaching the trailer park. Eddie drives past a few trailers before pulling up to his own.

Y/N’s looks around, taking in her surroundings. The spaced out beige paneled trailers are different from the tightly packed red brick homes of her neighborhood.

Here, many adults are outside hanging wet clothes to dry on a clothesline or sitting and having a beer with their loved ones. In her neighborhood, it’s usually children out on the streets playing or riding their bikes. It’s different, but comforting in the same way.

“Welcome to my humble abode,” Eddie greets as he opens the door to the trailer and lets Y/N walk through first. She takes a step in and Eddie follows behind her, turning on the yellow fluorescent light that hums above them.

She takes in the sight of the kitchen, dining room and living room. The space isn’t big by any means, but it's somehow roomier than she thought it would be.

She walks further and turns around, taking in the sight of dozens of trucker hats and coffee mugs on the walls and ceiling.

She looks to the side and notes the worn brown couch in front of the tv with a collection of VHS tapes scattered nearby. She wonders which ones are Eddie’s favorites. What are his favorite movies or tv shows?

The clanking of dishes takes her out of her thoughts and she turns to see Eddie rummaging through the kitchen cupboards.

“Since you despise slurpees for some weird reason–”

“I don’t despise slurpees. They’re fine, just not really my treat of choice.”

“Whatever you say, smarty pants.”

Y/N rolls her eyes.

“Could I interest you in a crisp refreshing coke,” he says in a jingle voice, “or maybe a cup of stale leftover coffee my uncle probably made before he left?”

Y/N follows Eddie’s voice to the kitchen. She approaches the counter and leans her arms against it. “Um, yes to the coke, no to the coffee.”

She watches Eddie as he sets a glass on the counter, fills it with ice, and pours a can of Coca Cola over it. “One ice cold coke on the rocks,” Eddie proclaims as he slides the glass over the counter to Y/N as he looks into her eyes and wiggles his eyebrows.

Y/N blushes and looks down, but her hair is pulled back so there’s nothing to hide her embarrassed blush.

“Thanks,” she gratefully mumbles before turning around and taking a seat at the table. As Eddie serves his own glass, Y/N starts taking out her papers and pencil.

“Feeling better?” Eddie asks as he sits down across from her. She nods and meekly looks up from her paper to him. “Yeah, thanks for your help Eddie,” she says sweetly.

Eddie nods. “Sure thing, smarty pants. Wanna get to work then?” Eddie asks as he pulls out his own papers.

“Oh, um, yeah.” Y/N responds, surprised at Eddie’s eagerness to actually focus on their assignment for once.

She looks down at the papers scattered in front of her. They only have a few more questions to work on till they're done. She can get them done in no time.

Except this time around, she finds herself more distracted than ever. She’s constantly looking around the trailer or getting lost in some thought completely unrelated to chemistry and 9 times out of 10 related to Eddie.

At first, she lets her eyes wander to the mug collection she saw earlier and wonders if Eddie had chosen any. Does he even drink coffee? Or tea? He seems like someone who primarily lives on Jack and Coke and the thrill of a heavy metal song. Or maybe they all belong to his uncle. What is he like?

She tries to refocus her attention to the pencil in her hand and the paper in front of her, but the pencil feels too heavy and something inside her buzzes too loudly for her to properly focus on anything.

She looks back up and sees Eddie deep in concentration. His slender, ring clad fingers wrapped around a pencil. She wonders where he got those rings from or why he even chose to wear them in the first place. They look good on him, no doubt, but it’s rather uncommon for guys to wear rings or things like that. Well, unless you’re Freddie Mercury or David Bowie that is.

Her gaze trails up to his wild head of hair. His voluminous frizzy waves take over his head and shoulders. She wonders what he ever looked like with short hair. She also wonders what he would look like with his hair in a ponytail or even in braids. She imagines what it would feel like to run her fingers through his hair as she braided it.

His hair is another one of those things that not many guys could pull off, but on Eddie, it’s totally and utterly attractive.

“Y/N,” Eddie says in a playfully scolding voice still looking down at his paper, “I know I’m looking sexy as hell today, but do you think we could maybe focus on the task at hand?” Eddie looks up at her with a shit eating grin and Y/N tenses up.

“What? I’m not–I…I am focusing on the task at hand” Y/N scoffs, flustered and red-cheeked.

“You sure about that sweetheart?” Eddie’s eyebrows raise as his gaze travels to Y/N’s blank paper.

Y/N’s breath gets caught in her throat as she looks down. “Y-yeah I am.”

“You don’t sound too sure,” Eddie replies, cockiness dripping with every word.

Y/N turns her head up and looks Eddie square in the eye, “Well, I am. So, one, tough shit if you don’t believe me, and two, for your information, you’re not even… sexy, so...”

“Oh, Y/N, you’re so cute when you curse.”

Y/N gasps and Eddie leans forward to seductively add, “Even more when you lie.”

“Eddie,” Y/N hisses, flames kissing every inch of her skin. “Stop distracting me so we can finish this assignment.”

“You seem distracted whether or not I say anything, smarty pants.”

“That’s… not true.” Y/N rolls her eyes and takes a sip of her watered down coke before pretending to focus on the question before her.

She can feel her heart beating loudly in her chest. Can Eddie hear it too?

“Uh huh, sure,” Eddie says sarcastically before returning to his own work. Soon enough, the heat in Y/N’s chest and shame in her features dissipate till the two are silently engrossed in finishing the remainder of their assignment.

With the adrenaline from Eddie’s shameless teasing, Y/N finds the strength to finish the assignment with ease.

“Okay, I’m finished with my part. How are you on yours?” Y/N asks.

“Hold on. I’m almost done with this last question” Eddie says without looking away from the paper as he scribbles out his answer.

Eddie puts his pencil down and looks up at Y/N, “I’m done."

“We did it!” Y/N cheers and raises her hand up for a high five. Eddie is confused at first, then claps his hand to hers.

“Yeah,” he forces a smile.

This isn’t good news. It should be, but it isn’t. This means he won’t have a reason to spend time with Y/N anymore. If he's honest with himself, why else would someone like Y/N hang out with a freak like him.

He recalls the first day they spent together and the conversation they had after they left the library. He remembers promising Y/N that they would do something fun to celebrate their finished assignment. He doubts Y/N remembers it or actually meant it when she promised it back.

Part of him wants to bring it up, but it’s a miracle that she’s even here with him now. Maybe he can just make the most of his time left with her now, before it’s over.

Y/N checks her watch, “And it’s only 5:45!”

Eddie looks over his shoulder before turning back to Y/N. “You don’t have to be home till 7:00 right?”

“Yeah!”

“C’mere. I wanna show you something?” Eddie says and gets out of his chair. “Oh, what is it?” Y/N asks innocently.

He leads the way to his room and Y/N cautiously follows. He enters casually while Y/N lingers in the doorway. Eddie begins moving things around and searching for something within his drawers while Y/N scans the room; there’s stuff everywhere. How can someone think or breathe in a room like this? The disorganization makes Y/N yearn for the clean corners and empty edges of her own bedroom.

She takes in the mixture of band and playboy posters hung on the walls. There’s empty cigarette cartons and crushed beer cans on the dresser. It smells faintly of weed and even a bit of aquanet. There’s clothes strewn about across every square inch of the room.

She refrains from touching anything, feeling like the inside of a museum exhibit of a teenage boys room in 1985.

The chaos makes Y/N feel on edge, but she relaxes as her gaze settles on a weird looking, larger than life, bright red guitar hung on his mirror across from the doorway.

She slowly walks forward, almost entranced by the exquisite instrument. Its edges create a unique shape and the cherry red color is so vibrant. She stands before it and only looks, but her hands are itching to-

“Touch it,” Eddie says from behind and Y/N shrieks. She looks over her shoulder at Eddie standing inches away and clutches the part of her shirt over her chest.

“Holy shit, I didn’t mean to scare you there tiger,” Eddie chuckles and Y/N rolls her eyes.

“You didn’t… I just could hear you.” Y/N mutters and looks at the hand he effortlessly places on her shoulder.

“You can touch the guitar if you want,” Eddie says and he’s so close Y/N can feel the vibration of his voice against her body. His warm breath lightly coats her exposed ear.

“Can I?”

“Go ahead.”

“Okay,” she says softly and reaches out to touch the base of the guitar. She lightly runs her fingers across the sleek material and shivers. She slowly strums her fingers along the chords and nearly jumps at the corresponding noise.

“Wanna hold it?” Eddie asks and lifts his arms up to take the guitar off its mount. Y/N’s eyes are drawn to the tattoos on the taut skin of his muscled bicep.

He offers the guitar to Y/N and she takes it, placing the strap over her head and onto her shoulder.

“Do you play on this often?”

“Yeah, we play at a dive bar a couple miles out of town.”

“What?” Y/N asks as she strums across the chords. She looks up at him in confusion.

Eddie looks around for a chord and connects the guitar to the amp on his dresser, “I play with my band, Corroded Coffin.”

“You’re in a band?” She asks with widened eyes.

“Yeah, you should come see us sometime,” he says confidently.

Y/N nods, speechless at the realization that Eddie is not only in a band but performs live. Her mind zeroes in on the vision of what Eddie would like playing guitar on stage. How his hair would stick to sweat on his skin and how the stage lights would reflect on his tattooed arms or dazzling eyes.

“Here, try this,” Eddie turns on the amp and hands Y/N a guitar pick. Y/N takes it and nervously strums the guitar. She nearly flinches from the loud vibrations.

“See, you’re a natural,” Eddie teases. Y/N glares at him.

“We’ll take it slow,” Eddie says as he leans forward and places her hands on a specific string and fret. Y/N looks up at his hooded eyes, lids half closed as he looks down at her hands. She’s almost mesmerized by his beautiful features till the electric touch of his fingers on hers brings her attention down to the instrument between them.

“Now strum” his command brings Y/N back to earth. She strums and hears the sound vibrate off the instrument.

“Now put your right hand on the string below it and put your left hand here,” Eddie adjusts. She strums.

“Okay, now put this hand here, on the D and G chords, and this hand here,” Eddie gives her another chord and she strums. They repeat the process for several more chords.

“Now put it all together,” Eddie instructs.

Y/N slowly strums, pausing to adjust between chords. When she forgets a chord, because why did Eddie have to make her memorize so many, she looks up to Eddie and he points out the next one.

She plays the entire piece and it sounds crooked but somewhat familiar. She tries it again and again. The more she plays the more she recognizes the song he’s just taught her.

“Wait,” Y/N looks back down in concentration and plays the chords faster. Duh duh duhhh duh duh duh duhhhh, duh duh duhhh duh duh.

“Eddie,” Y/N exclaims. She looks at him with bright eyes and an even brighter smile. She looks down and plays the chords more fluidly, getting into a rhythm.

She plays the song again and moves her body to the rhythm, leaning forward and back and bobbing her head along the way.

“Eddie! I’m…” Y/N trails off as she finishes the song one last time.

“A rockstar?” He quirks an eyebrow.

“No,” she rolls her eyes then peers up at him.

“That, smarty pants, is the legendary riff to Smoke on the Water by Deep Purple.”

Y/N stops playing and tightly clutches the guitar in her fingers. She scrunches her eyebrows and grins at the impending sense of pride she feels.

“That was… awesome! I loved every second of it. Do you feel like this every time you play?” She asks in breathless excitement. Her chest drastically rising and falling.

Eddie’s taken aback by Y/N’s reaction. He didn’t think she would be this excited or awestruck. He clears his throat and says, “Something like that.”

Y/N takes the strap off and holds out the guitar to him.

“It’s your turn,” She smugly grins at him.

“You want me to play?” Eddie smirks and grabs the guitar.

Y/N sits back on the edge of his bed. “Yeah, show me what you’ve got.” She says with a challenging tone.

Eddie adjusts the guitar in his expert fingers. He holds his hand out for the guitar pick and flicks his wrist before he starts strumming.

“You mean, a little something like this,” he winks before playing the chords to Iron Man by Black Sabbath. Y/N gasps at how much it sounds like the tape he played just the other day.

“Or maybe a little something like this,” he says and expertly plays the Smoke on the Water by Deep Purple chord he just taught her.

“Surely you know that one,” he winks at her open mouthed and wide eyed face.

“Wanna hear something new I’ve added to my set list?” Eddie asks and Y/N nods with heat emanating from every inch of her skin. Eddie breathes in then exhales. He closes his eyes and strums the intro riff to When Doves Cry by Prince.

“Eddie!” Y/N squeals as she rises to her feet, smile beaming wide from ear to ear. “You learned my favorite Prince song? Why didn’t you tell me?”

Y/N knows she must be imagining the pink tint beginning to coat Eddie’s cheeks.

Eddie decided from the first time Y/N rode in his van that he would learn a song for her. He figured a Prince song would be the most natural option. After borrowing the Purple Rain tape from one of his bandmates and listening to it for hours on repeat, he not only fell in love with the album but wanted to learn how to play every single song. He really liked the intro riff to When Doves Cry but he never realized the song would draw him in the same way it did for Y/N.

“I wanted to surprise you,” he says bashfully.

Truthfully, he didn’t expect he would ever get the chance to show her, but the look in her eyes let him know that the late nights spent practicing were well worth it.

Y/N looks at him smiling breathlessly at her. This is the nicest and most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for her.

She turns her head to the side and covers her smile with her fingers. If she doesn’t get it together, she’s sure her heart will explode out of her chest.

Keeping her fingertips on her lips, she asks, “Do you sing, at all? For Corroded Coffin?”

Eddie presses his lips together, fighting the smile threatening to form on his face and does a one shoulder shrug.

“What does that mean?”

“Sorta, kinda.” Eddie shortly grins. With most girls, he’ll never hesitate to let them know he’s the frontman of Corroded Coffin. He doesn’t know why, but girls always seem to like him more when they learn he’s a guitar player, especially when he tells them he’s the lead singer too.

“So do you sing backup then?”

“Not exactly,” he grins at her like a Cheshire cat.

“Eddie,” Y/N whines, “Why are you being so weird about this? Just answer the question.”

Eddie leans back on his dresser and crosses his arms over his chest. He smiles and cockily says, “Just come to one of our shows. You’ll find out then.”

“When’s your next show?”

“Friday.”

Y/N gulps. “Friday, as in tomorrow?”

“Yup,” Eddie replies, cockily popping the p-sound.

Y/N frowns, “I can’t. My friends and I made plans to go to Star Court after school.”

“That’s fine. We usually don’t go on till 11:00 anyway. You can come after. And bring your friends too.”

“Eddie, I can’t do that. On weekends my curfew is 10:00.”

Eddie looks down in disappointment, “Oh, come on, you can just sneak out. Your parents won’t know the difference.”

“Seriously, I can’t. And I just know they would find out somehow. Nothing gets past them.”

“Do you have any siblings?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Get one of them to cover for you.”

Y/N knows that if her sister could, that she would cover for her, and that she could potentially get away with it, but that’s way too big of an if she’s not ready to gamble on.

“Eddie, even if I could get my sister to cover for me, I just don’t think it would work.”

“Sure they will. They’ll probably be asleep the whole time and not even notice you’re gone.”

Y/N tries to imagine it. Never mind the fact that she doesn’t even have a car to get her there. But, if somehow he gave her a ride and if her sister covered her and if everything worked out… What would happen then? Probably nothing because there’s no way that could ever happen.

“Look Eddie, while I’m under my parents roof, I can’t afford to get in trouble in any capacity. I just can’t. I hope you can understand,” Y/N looks at him pleadingly.

Eddie looks into her eyes and sees a scared child. It’s a sight he recognizes instantly because he used to have it too.

“Yeah, I understand,” he replies in a sense of respectful disappointment.

“Thanks,” Y/N whispers and Eddie nods.

An awkward silence fills the room but is interrupted when Y/N gets an idea. “I would still like to see you play though.”

Eddie looks at her in confusion.

“Maybe you could give me a preview, tonight,” Y/N bats her eyes.

Eddie raises his eyebrows.

“You could play one song. It could be like practice.” She says innocently with big doe eyes.

Eddie is tempted to give in, but he hasn’t fully let go of the hope that she could see him play live with Corroded Coffin someday. He knows it's a lot to ask for someone like her, and yet he wants it badly enough to ask for it anyway.

But for all he knows, this might be the last night they ever spend together. If she were to never see him play live or even see him outside of the classroom, then he wants to give her something. He wants to give Y/N anything she asks and one last beautiful memory between them both.

“Okay,” he gives in.

“Really? You sure?” Y/N worries she might have pressured him.

“Yeah, for you I will.”

Y/N smiles hopefully at him “Okay.”

Eddie turns over and moves items around on his dresser. He pulls out a microphone and plugs the chord attached to it to the amp beside him

He juts his chin in the direction of the back corner of the room “You mind passing me the mic stand over there?”

Y/N’s eyes widen and she silently follows his request. Is he really about to do this right now?

“You sure it won’t be too loud? Don’t want to disturb the neighbors.”

“Nah, they don’t care.”

“They don’t or you don’t care?”

“Y/N, I practice like this all the time and they’ve never said anything to me before.”

“Yet.”

“Y/N, do you want me to do this or not?” He chuckles.

Y/N nods, “I do.”

“Just sit back,” He flicks his wrist in the direction of his bed, “Relax, and enjoy the show.”

Y/N slowly backs away and takes a seat on the edge of his bed. She looks up at him, palms sweating and nerves tingling.

Eddie breathes and takes a moment to think about which song he’ll play for her. Besides the short Prince riff he just learned for her, there’s nothing he can play that she’ll like or isn’t metal. He doesn’t have a lot of options, so he goes with a safe choice and hopes she’ll appreciate it anyway.

He kisses his guitar pick before strumming the chords to Paranoid by Black Sabbath. It’s his favorite song to perform and one he knows like the back of his hand.

He begins strumming and shaking his head in rhythm with the song.

Finished with my woman 'cause

She couldn't help me with my mind

People think I'm insane because

I am frowning all the time

His voice echoes through the sound system and fills Y/N’s ears. Y/N looks at him and notices how his full lips curl closely to the head of the microphone.

All day long I think of things

But nothing seems to satisfy

Think I'll lose my mind

If I don't find something to pacify

He looks from his fingers on the guitar to Y/N’s face. His eyes lock with hers and he smiles before wailing:

Can you help me

Occupy my brain?

Oh yeah

His fingers dance along the strings and up the neck of the cherry red electric guitar. He thrusts his shoulders and moves his pelvis along with the instrument. He shakes his head, letting his frizzy waves fly.

I need someone to show me

The things in life that I can't find

I can't see the things that make

True happiness, I must be blind

He's lost in focus, trying to play it perfectly for her. He’s never looked more beautiful. Y/N’s dryly swallows the saliva in her poached throat. An unnerving sensation begins to grow in the pit of her stomach and her heart races to the beat of the song. In this moment, she realizes that she finally understands what it means when people say they’re turned on.

In just a simple pair of black jeans, a hellfire club t shirt, a leather jacket, and jean vest, Y/N feels like she’s in the presence of an absolute sex god.

Make a joke and I will sigh

And you will laugh and I will cry

Happiness I cannot feel

And love to me is so unreal

Y/N can feel the blood dancing in her veins. She almost wants to stand up and jump or dance around to the song, but one, there’s hardly any space, and two, how do you even dance to this kind of music? It’s so much easier to dance to music on the radio or the Spanish music her parents listen to.

She settles for nodding her head to the rhythm and grinning at Eddie. She even lets out a few whoops and hollers to cheer him on which he nervously smiles at before refocusing on the song.

And so as you hear these words

Telling you now of my state

I tell you to enjoy life

I wish I could but it's too late

Eddie strums the last chord and it slowly fades out. The buzz of the sound still reverberates around the room. His chest rises and falls and the hair at the back of his neck is damp.

Eddie wakes up from his metal induced trance and sees Y/N standing on her feet and clapping. She’s grinning widely at him and he breathlessly smiles back at her.

“Eddie! That was so awesome! You’re literally a rockstar!”

Y/N could just hug him, but there’s a whole guitar between them. And despite the fact that Eddie already took them to a “good acquaintances that can hug under specific circumstances” level, Y/N feels too shy to initiate such contact.

“Nah,” Eddie breathlessly replies with a wave of a hand.

“No seriously,” Y/N takes a step forward and places her hand an inch away from his holding the neck of the guitar, “You have a gift.”

They lock eyes for a moment. Y/N’s shine in admiration and Eddie’s gleam in pride.

Eddie breaks the contact to move over and unplug the chords.

As he puts the guitar back in its place, Y/N turns around and walks around the room with her back facing Eddie. It’s embarrassing how big he’s making her smile.

“So how long have you been playing guitar?” She asks as she pretends to look at the other things in his room.

“I don’t know. As long as I can remember.” Eddie says as his eyes follow her movement.

“Is that what you want to do when you grow up?” Y/N asks.

“I’m nineteen. Some would say I’m pretty grown already.”

Y/N’s tenses. She doesn’t like when he throws his age around like that. It makes her feel intimidated knowing how much older and experienced in life he is.

“You know what I mean Eddie.”

“I don’t know Y/N. Probably yeah. I want to keep playing for as long as I can.”

“What do you think you’ll do when you graduate?” Y/N asks as she walks over and sits at the corner of his bed.

“I don’t know. I haven’t really thought about it,” Eddie replies from his place against the dresser.

“Really?”

“Yeah,” he replies curtly.

“Why not?”

“I don’t know, just haven’t.”

“Really?” Y/N asks incredulously.

“Look, maybe I’ll get a job with my uncle. Maybe I’ll go and fix up old cars. Maybe I’ll work at the record store at Star Court. Is that what you want to hear?” Eddie says in frustration as he plops down next to Y/N.

Y/N holds her breath and waits for him to calm down. She didn’t mean to make him mad, but what she doesn’t realize is just how sensitive of a subject this is for Eddie.

“Point is, I’ll figure it out when the time comes.”

“You don’t… have a plan?” She asks quietly, barely above a whisper at the boy sitting next to her.

“No, I don’t have a plan Y/N,” he says in a controlled voice as he looks down at his hands folded in his lap. “Why should I make a plan when it’s probably just gonna change?”

She turns her head to face him. “Yeah, sometimes your plans can change, but they still give you something to work for, something to hope for.”

“The last thing I need is false hope.”

“It’s not false hope, Eddie.”

“Tell me how it’s not.”

“I mean, if you could make your tomorrow better than your today, wouldn’t you at least try?”

Eddie looks down at Y/N who’s already looking up at him. He scrunches his eyebrows and bites the inside of his lower lip.

He looks back down at his lap and Y/N’s eyes trail to the tattoos on his arms. She wishes she could reach out and touch them, but that would be weird right? She’s in his room, leg to leg and arm to arm with him, but it would be too much if she reached out and placed her fingers over that delicate skin, right?

“Even if I did, what would it matter? Tomorrow isn’t promised, why should I act like it is?”

Y/N can’t deny that some of his words ring true, but it’s still not enough to convince her otherwise. Y/N sighs, “Are you happy, Eddie? With the way things are now.”

Eddie can’t find himself saying yes. Of course he isn’t happy he failed his senior year of high school twice. Of course he isn’t happy to be a burden on his uncle. But as long as he had his guitar and his D&D, it made life bearable.

“I mean for some things yeah, but I have a lot of other things to be happy about. I have my friends and I have my Uncle Wayne and I have music. To some, it may not look like a lot, but for me, that’s all I need.”

Y/N closes her eyes and breathes in. “Eddie, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.” Y/N twiddles her fingers in her lap. “You do have a lot to be happy about. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you can be grateful for everything your family’s done for you and you can still want more for yourself. I know I am.”

“You are?”

“Sure. I’m grateful for all the sacrifices my parents have made and all the things they’ve done for me, but at the same time, I know there’s more out there and I want it, even if it’s just a taste.”

Eddie muses over Y/N’s words. “Yeah I guess so.”

“In the same way, I’m grateful for everything Hawkins has given me, even if it includes shitty school counselors and hardly anything to do for miles, but I still want more than what this little town can offer, you know?”

Eddie nods slowly. “So what do you want?”

“Huh?”

“What do you want? That your parents or Hawkins can’t give you?”

Y/N takes a deep breath. There’s so many things that she wants in life. But she feels weird letting it all come out to Eddie. These are things she thinks about constantly but never tells anyone. She's excited but tries to contain it and instead lets out a simple, all encompassing answer. “Freedom.”

“Yeah?” Eddie smiles at her.

“Yeah. I can’t really do what I want or be who I want under my parent’s roof or in a place like Hawkins.”

“I feel the same way. I mean I can be who I want in here, but out there…” Eddie trails off and shakes his head.

“Is there anything you want?”

Eddie shrugs, “I don’t know. Never really thought about it.”

“Really?”

“I mean… no one’s ever asked me.”

“Well, I’m asking you. And I’m sure there’s something. For starters, do you ever want to leave Hawkins?”

“I don’t know. Sometimes I think about getting out of this god forsaken town, but then I think about my uncle Wayne and my parents and what any of them would think and I just… I’m not ready to leave this place just yet. Maybe in a couple of years, but for now, I’m not ready to leave my family, my uncle.”

Eddie hasn’t really brought up his parents before, so she knows how big of a deal it must be for him to have brought them up.

She places a gentle hand on his forearm and slowly rubs her thumb along the skin. Afraid to look Eddie in the eyes and make a vulnerable moment even more uncomfortable, she watches as Eddie brings his other hand over hers and guides it to interlock their fingers.

“I’m so sorry Eddie.” Y/N squeezes his hand.

“You don’t have to be.” Eddie says in a comforting voice as he sandwiches her hand between the both of his.

The two are silent for a moment before Eddie adds, “I think I might want to get out of this trailer though, stop being such a burden on my uncle.”

“Eddie, I’m sure that’s not true.” “Eh, it kind of is though. I mean imagine barely making ends meet and still having another mouth to feed. He’s not even a parent but for the past several years he's had a kid to worry about. I don’t want to be that anymore. I just want to be like a normal nephew and uncle. I–” Eddie chokes and squeezes Y/N’s hand.

He clears his throat and in a strong voice says, “I want to stop being a fuckup and finally make him proud.”

Y/N gasps and tightens her grip on his hand. “Eddie–”

“Shh.” Eddie shakes his head. He breathes in deeply. “I just need to graduate. And then, I’ll get a job and I can get my own place. Maybe even upgrade the busted old van outside, but not too soon though. She’s been with me through too much.”

“Your van is a she?” Y/N laughs.

“Yes, she is. She’s my old girl.”

Y/N rolls her eyes and Eddie chuckles. “Guys are so weird about their cars.”

“You’re just jealous.”

“I’m very much not.”

“Whatever you say, smarty pants.”

Eddie squeezes Y/N’s hand and she looks at him. “So, what about your band?”

“What about my band?” Eddie smiles and cocks his head to the side in confusion.

“Is there anything you want for your band’s future?”

“I don’t know.”

“What do you mean you don’t know? There’s gotta be something,” Y/N looks up at him, “You have a gift that needs to be shared with the world.”

Eddie shrugs, “I don’t know. I never thought of it like that before.”

“Eddie, you could perform in front of hundreds of adoring fans every night. Don’t you want to hear girls screaming, we love you Eddie, from the mosh pit of every arena across the country?”

“Only if you’re one of them,” Eddie pinches Y/N’s cheek. She giggles and swats his hand away.

“Sure, if you ever have a gig in Chicago, let me know and I’ll be there.”

“So tell me smarty pants, why Chicago?”

Y/N shrugs and giddily replies, “Oh, lots of reasons. We visit a lot because we have family there and every time I go I fall more and more in love with the city. The people there are so cool and at night the skyline lights twinkle like stars. It's beautiful. Everything about the city makes me feel alive. I feel like I can be myself there.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Y/N nods and smiles. “It doesn’t hurt to be too far from here either.”

“Oh so the big Chicago hot-shot is gonna come back and grace the presence of us Hawkins common folk?”

“Shut up Eddie, it’s not even like that.” Y/N leans to the side to shove Eddie.

“You’re gonna get into that school Y/N, I just know it. You’ll be the best thing to come out of this town.”

Y/N looks up into Eddie’s eyes, sparkling in the low light of the lamps in his room. “Thanks Eddie… You’re gonna make your uncle proud–you’ll make all of us proud too, I know it.”

Eddie smiles at Y/N. His lips pulled tight to create a dense dimple by the corner of his mouth. A comfortable silence falls between them.

All of a sudden, Y/N feels a tightening in her chest. She can’t breathe properly. He’s too close. Talking could distract her before, but now that there’s silence, all she can focus on is the feeling of his leg against hers. Of the warmth and weight of his hand in hers.

He shuffles his torso slightly to face her and his arm rubs against her. She looks down at the newly created empty space between their arms.

“Y/N,” Eddie softly calls out. Y/N looks up and her breath hitches from how close his face is to hers.

“Yeah,” she replies barely above a whisper. She looks between his warm chocolate eyes. His eyes flicker from her lips and settle on her own bright eyes.

Is this going to happen?

Y/N’s palms are sweating and her heart is pumping loudly and violently in her chest.

A part of her is afraid and nervous and not yet ready for this to happen. But the other part of her is the opposite.

She hadn’t realized it till this very moment. If anyone was going to be her first kiss, she would want it to be Eddie. But would he even want to kiss her? What is happening? If Eddie is going to do something, he needs to do it now and take Y/N out of her misery.

He opens his mouth and closes it. His eyes flash to the side and he gulps. “I should probably take you home now. Don’t want you to miss curfew.”

If Eddie’s not mistaken, a look of disappointment crosses Y/N’s features quickly before she covers it with a mask of neutrality.

“Oh, yeah, ok,” she nods and looks at her watch. It’s fifteen till 7:00. Of all times for Eddie to be more concerned about following the rules than Y/N, why now?

“Let’s go,” Eddie taps the back of her hand with his free one and unravels their intertwined fingers. Eddie rises and walks to the door. Y/N stays back for a second, not yet ready to leave this room, this trailer, or this surreal moment.

“Y/N,” Eddie smirks from the doorway. “You coming?”

“Yeah,” Y/N quietly nods and follows him. She silently grabs her things from the kitchen and follows Eddie out the door. She walks over to the van and hears the grass crunch beneath her feet. As she waits for Eddie to lock the trailer door and unlock the van, she looks around and sees the glare of the yellow street lights cast over the metal of the trailer.

The two climb into the van and Eddie starts the car. He puts a tape into the deck and pulls out of the trailer park. Y/N watches his slender fingers on the steering wheel as the shadows dance across them.

She feels solemn as he drives her back home. She doesn’t want to be going home and leaving Eddie just yet. She doesn’t want this to be the last time she ever rides in his van or hears his heavy metal blasting through the speakers.

The trailer park is all the way in East Hawkins, so the drive to her house is long, but not long enough.

“That wasn’t too bad, right?”

“What wasn’t too bad?” Y/N turns to look at Eddie with a red glow cast on his skin by the stoplight.

“Having to work with the freak,” Eddie points to himself, “On a simple chemistry assignment.”

“Eddie, you shouldn’t call yourself that. You’re not a freak.”

“Yeah, well that’s the thing about nicknames, they’re given to you and they’re pretty hard to get rid of,” Eddie shrugs.

“Well I don’t care. You’re not a freak to me. Annoying? Sure. A deranged metal head? Maybe. But definitely not a freak.”

Eddie chuckles and the sight of his joy makes Y/N smile.

“Eddie,” Y/N says as he turns into her subdivision. “Today was fun.”

He looks at her. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Y/N grins at him. “Maybe we can still do something fun… to celebrate a job well done on this assignment.”

“You want to?” Eddie looks at her from his peripheral vision.

“Yeah. If you do too.” Y/N smiles at her lap. She looks up and sees the houses leading up to her own.

“Yeah, sure. You got anything in mind?”

As Eddie passes her house, she sees her fathers car in the driveway.

“My dad’s home,” Y/N says with alarm as Eddie parks in front of her house. “I think he’s inside already, but we don’t have a lot of time.”

“What?” Eddie shifts his body to face her and her frazzled state.

Y/N unbuckles her seatbelt and grabs her backpack. “Are you free on Saturday?”

Eddie had plans with some of the boys from Hellfire club but they could wait. “I can be.”

Y/N looks from her house to Eddie. “Good. We’ll pick back up on this tomorrow, before class, okay?”

Eddie nods. Y/N looks at the dashboard and the time reads 6:58. She looks over her shoulder and sees no one standing outside her house or peeking through the blinds of the living room windows.

She turns back around to face Eddie. She looks at him for a moment, gathering the nerve to do something she might end up regretting. Eddie notices and looks at her in confusion.

Okay, it’s now or never.

She grabs the back of his seat for leverage and leans over. She lightly places a hand on his neck for stability and presses a chaste kiss to his cheek.

“Goodnight Eddie,” she whispers inches away from his wide eyed and slack jawed face.

She scrambles to get out of the van before he can even say anything. She shuts the door behind her and runs across the walkway to her front door.

She opens the door and closes it behind her. To the right, her parents are loudly talking over some story on the news playing several feet from the left of her.

“I’m home,” Y/N shouts, “Gonna go to the restroom and I’ll be back down.”

Her parents wave her off and Y/N excitedly pounces up the steps. She throws her backpack on the floor of her room and runs off to the bathroom across the hall.

She giggles at her reflection and brings her fingers to her lips.

She doesn’t know what came over her, but it did. She kissed Eddie Munson, on the cheek though. But it’s the most she’s ever done in her life.

She hopes he liked it but starts to worry he might not have. She shakes the worry out of her head and smiles. Little does she know, Eddie’s been dying to make a move but was 100% certain his advances would have been rejected.

Y/N doesn’t know what any of this means for her and Eddie, but it thrills her nonetheless.

She keeps her composure throughout dinner, but once she excuses herself to go do homework in her room, she closes the door behind her, lays on her bed, and screams into her pillow with glee.

She climbs out of bed and turns on her portable radio. Head Over Heels by Tears for Fears plays and she begins dancing around her room. Her eyes land on a hairbrush on her dresser. She grabs it and uses it as a microphone while singing to herself in the mirror.

When the chorus comes back on, she lies back on her bed and sings:

Something happens and I'm head over heels

I never find out until I'm head over heels

Something happens and I'm head over heels

Ah, don't take my heart, don't break my heart

Don't, don't, don't throw it away

“Y/N,” Y/N’s sister yells as she opens the door. Y/N scrambles to sit up and looks at her in embarrassment.

“Turn that crap down,” she says as she walks over and lowers the volume. “It’s annoying as hell.”

Y/N sticks her tongue out at her sister as she walks out of the room and leaves the door open.

“Can you at least close the door?” Y/N yells over at her in the hallway.

Moments like this are what make Y/N wish she had a walkman.

Y/N spends the rest of her evening completing homework for other classes while intermittently replaying the time she just spent with Eddie.

By the time she lays in bed, ready to go to sleep, visions of Eddie behind his guitar or his big brown eyes and bright smile flash across her mind. Her heart can’t wait to see him again tomorrow. She doesn’t know what they’ll do next time they hang out either, but all that matters is that she’s with him.

It’s weird, feeling the way she does. And a part of her almost feels silly. How did this boy just come into her life and already made this much of an impact?

Y/N doesn’t understand her attraction to the deranged metalhead and in a similar way, Eddie doesn’t understand his attraction to the smartypants girl next door, but the both of them are eager to find out why.

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