#I think the framing needs to be better but i'll work on that another time

[kays-artstuff]

I made a quick lil doodle that's probably been done before but it was cute so I did it anyway :D

Once again, I'm drawing @kitsuneisi and @xmaruu11 's ddvau because it has me in a chokehold

#art #sorry for the tags #drawing #mcyt #mcyt fanart #mcytart #ddvau #ddvau fanart #grian fanart #goodtimewithscar fanart #desertduo vigilante au #can you tell I've also never made a comic before? #lol #I think the framing needs to be better but i'll work on that another time

[nanaslutt]

HATE SEX WITH GETO PLEASE 😭😭🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

contains: fem reader, spanking, choking, manhandling, hate fucking, rough sex, dirty talk, cheating, spanking, bathroom sex, angst w/ no comfort, proceed with caution :3

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ

Just thinking about hate sex with ex-boyfriend Geto. You received a video from an unknown number a couple months ago of your boyfriend at the club, big arms slung around two pretty girls as one ground on him under the flashing lights and blaring music of the club. The video was short, but it was all you needed to see. You forwarded the video to Geto, captioned with the words, "fuck you."

The night he went out he told you he was having a guy's night out with Gojo, so imagine your surprise when you woke up to him acting like a whore in public. You still did never find out who sent you that video. Geto spent days blowing up your phone, using your mutual friends to try and talk to you, even going as far to show up to your house, but you rejected all of his advances.

After about a month and a half, when things had calmed down and it was evident to the both of you that your relationship was well over, you finally started going out again. The reason it took you so long? The two of you were in the same friend group. There's a reason they say to date outside of your circle, for situations exactly like this.

Your big debut back into your circle of friends was a night out clubbing. Gojo, Shoko, Utahime, and Nanami were sitting on the plush cushions around you. The only reason you agreed to go out with them tonight was because Shoko had promised Geto wouldn't be there, saying he was stuck at work. Truthfully though, Shoko had missed you so much in the group outings, that she would've found a way to drag you out of the house even if Geto was going to be there.

"This is nice, I'll admit. I missed you guys." You said, working on your second cocktail of the night. Drinks always tasted better when Gojo paid. "Awww~ I don't know how you went so long without seeing me, honestly~" Gojo teased, ruffling your hair in the process. You swatted his hand away, fixing your hair while you shot him a nasty side-eye. "Us, he meant US." Utahime corrected, placing her hand on your knee while also shooting daggers at Gojo.

Gojo stuck out his tongue at Utahime, crossing his legs as he leaned back into the cushions, his arms spreading out behind you and Nanami on the top of the couch. "It's true though, it's nice having you here," Nanami added a light blush dusting on his face from how many drinks he had already downed; he must not have work tomorrow. "Thank you Nanami." you smiled at him before leaning back, crossing your legs over one another, your short black dress riding up your thighs slightly in the process.

"I've been so pent up all month, this feels so good." You giggled, tipping your head over as you directed your words to the girls. "Yeah? I know how you can feel even better." Shoko smirked, sipping on her straight vodka. Utahime smiled giddily, leaning her body forward in interest as she also waited for Shoko to speak. "Blondie over there at the bar has been eyeing you up since we got here, go talk to him." She nudged, wiggling her eyebrows at you.

You have been wound up in more ways than one since you and Geto had broken up. He always dicked you down so good, you would miss that. Who knows though, maybe blondie with the nice jawline and pretty face would give you good pipe in the bathroom. You eye him up, biting your lip as you dragged your eyes over his sturdy frame, only noticing he had been watching you oogle him like a slab of meat the whole time when you went to rake your eyes over his handsome face. He smiled, his dimples showing themselves as they dug into his cheeks, fuck he was hot. This was the perfect guy to use to get over Geto, screw that cheater.

"Oh shitt~ Look at them eye fucking each other~ Haha!" Gojo laughed, sipping on his sweet, non-alcoholic, bright pink drink. You turned your head to smirk at Gojo before you placed your hand on his shoulder and used it to push yourself off the seat. "You're really going for it?" Shoko asked incredulously, giggling behind your hand as you smoothed out your dress. "Why not? I'm horny and single, and a hot man is looking at me like I'm the hottest woman he's ever laid eyes on." You said, smiling down at your friends.

"That's because you are," Shoko added, grabbing your thigh for leverage she spun you around to face the man behind you sitting on the barstools, waiting for you to approach him. "I would be jealous If I liked men, he's a cutie." She laughed to Utahime as she watched you take a deep breath and walk off toward the man.

You walked through the club with confidence, a heartbeat already forming behind your panties as you got closer and closer, watching the way he eyed up your body as you walked. "Friends talked some sense into you, huh?" The man spoke when you got within ear shot. You took the seat next to him, plopping down on the barstool you spun the seat around to face him, your legs slotting together with one another as you placed your heel-clad feet on the bottom of his barstool.

His eyes darted down to your legs, watching you insert yourself into his space with confidence. "Too shy to come up to me yourself?" You asked, placing your hand on his knee as you rubbed circles against his pants, making him swallow the lump in his throat, feeling the heat rise to his face with how bold you were being. "You kidding? Those guys you're with are fucking repellent. Didn't know if you were with one of them or not." He laughed, taking a sip of his drink to ease his nerves.

"But you were watching me anyways?" You teased, keeping your eyes locked onto his. He took in a deep breath, pressing his lips together as before he spoke. "You have no idea what you look like, huh?" He asked, narrowing his eyes at you. "Who wouldn't be able to resist looking at someone like you?" His words sent shivers down your spine, you needed to get him in a bathroom stall with you hours ago. As the two of you continued flirting with one another, eyefucking each other as you sipped on your respective drinks, someone unexpected entered the club.

"Heyy." Geto's voice echoed into your friend's ears. The dark-haired man was half up, half down in his signature bun, one hand tucked into his pocket while his other was held up in front of him, waving to his friends. "Hey troublemaker~" Gojo smiled largely. Shoko groaned along with Utahime. "Thought you couldn't make it?" Nanami asked as he slid in next to him on the couch, spreading his long legs out on the cushions as he took Nanami's drink from him, taking a gulp.

"Got off early, thought I might come by." He responded, laughing when a drunk Nanami snatched his drink back from Geto, muttering to order his own drink. "Come by my ass, you work on the other side of town." Shoko laughed incredulously, adding that you were not going to be very happy. "She's here?" Geto asked, his demeanor immediately perking up. Shoko looked to Utahime knowingly before she looked back to Geto, hissing air in through her teeth.

"Yes cheater~ Of course she's here, and she's about to score by the looks of it." Shoko laughed, making Gojo whistle as he dragged his gaze to you, watching you pull your head back from the whispering something in the mans ear before his lips moved, head moving in tandem as you slid off of the barstool, taking his larger hand in his as you dragged him away from the seat, making him place his drink down on the bar top, abandoning it as you dragged him away to the bathroom.

Geto had just watched the entire scene unfold in front of him that the rest of them had seen. Of course, Geto had come here for you. Shoko was right, he worked almost half an hour away from the club, he was exhausted from work but when he saw you say in the group chat you were going to be here, he knew he had to make a detour. He knew he fucked up when he lied to you about going to the club, but truthfully he had done nothing more than let a couple girls fawn over him, grinding on him while they peppered kisses on his cheeks, never coming close to his mouth.

He still loved you, of course, he did, but you had been adamant about not seeing him at all for almost two months. He hadn't really given up, he would never give up on trying to get you back, he just figured maybe a little break and letting you calm down would lead you back to him. Clearly, he was wrong as he watched you maneuver your way through the crowd, dragging some man you met five minutes prior away to fuck, looking good as all hell.

He grits his teeth, pressing his feet firmly on the floor Geto was on the move in a heartbeat, no one could stop him. "Oh look what you did." Nanami huffed, looking at Shoko. "She's gonna be fucking pissed you know." Shoko's jaw was on the floor. She severely underestimated the amount of balls Suguru Geto had. "How the fuck was I supposed to know he was gonna go chase after her???" She said, looking at him with an expression that almost resembled horror, making Gojo laugh his ass off between them.

Once you made it to the secluded corner of the club just outside the bathrooms, you spun your body around, wrapping your arms around the man. "You wanna fuck me?" You whispered into his ear, feeling his large hands wrap around your waist, his knee sliding between your legs. He groaned at your words, staring between your lips and your pretty eyes as you bit your lip at him, "Fuck yeah, pretty girl." He smiled, shaking his head as he leaned in for a kiss.

You closed your eyes, waiting for a sensation against your lips that never came. Your eyes shot open when he yelled out an exasperated "Hey! What the fuck!" His lips loosened on your waist as he was dragged away from you by a strong grip on his hair. "Geto?!" You yelled, spinning your body to look at him, your body heating up with rage combined with the neglect of pleasure. "Who the fuck are you?!" The blond-haired man yelled, trying to grip Geto's wrist to make him release the hold he had on his hair.

"Her boyfriend." He deadpanned, throwing him in the direction of the club as he reached his hand over your head, pushing the door open behind you, forcing you into the small bathroom with his large frame, leaving you no time to refute. "I didn't know man, fuck!" The man's voice was cut off as the bathroom door shut behind the two of you, Geto's hand coming down to lock the door, leaving you alone in the personal bathroom.

"What the fuck are you doing?" You asked, shoving his chest back, Geto not even moving a muscle as his jaw muscles bulged out under the weight of his clenching teeth, his dark eyes watching you fume. "What the fuck were you doing?" Geto responded, walking toward you slowly, making you step back unconsciously, trying to keep some distance between the two of you. "Why is that any of your fucking business?" You spat, almost laughing at his audacity.

"We never officially broke up." Geto retorted, clenching his fists by his sides. "Oh! Oho!" You laughed, "Excuse me, allow me to make it official for you, we are fucking done." You dug your nail into his chest, squinting your eyes as you looked into his, your tall heels making you feel more confident as your height difference wasn't as dramatic now. "Thought I made it pretty fucking clear when I didn't respond to you for almost two months, but you always were pretty dense." You huffed, backing away from him once you got your point across.

"Were you just trying to get even with me? Huh? Thought fucking some random guy in the club like a slut would make you feel better about yourself?" He yelled, continuing to walk toward you until your back hit the wall, making you jolt, you hadn't even realized you were walking backward. "The fuck did you call me?" You asked, scrunching your eyebrows together. "You're such a fucking hypocrite, acting like that wasn't exactly what you did to me." You laughed again. You felt like you were going crazy, why was he acting like you were the one in the wrong here?

"I never fucked them! Never! Maybe if you answered my fucking calls or looked at my texts you would know that!" He shouted, getting in your face. You shook your head, looking at him with disdain. "Oh, because letting girls dry hump you is so much fucking better, right?" You yelled back, the ghost of a smile gracing your features, you were so done with him.

"God you really are the worst." You spat, your eyes shooting daggers into his own. "How the fuck are you gonna make up for scaring that guy off, huh?" You asked, tilting your head at him, making his eyes lock onto yours once more. Geto cocked his head at you, clearly uncomfortable with you mentioning the blonde stranger, knowing damn well you meant you were going to fuck him, and now you were left dry.

You scoffed, "What? Don't like the thought of me getting off on someone else's cock? Moaning someone else's name? Huh? That shit make you mad?" You got in his face, keeping your squinted eyes on his dark ones. Geto doesn't know what came over him, but he couldn't stand to hear you talk anymore. His lips were on yours, swallowing your surprised moans, immediately slipping his tongue into your mouth, crushing his jaw into yours, your head bumping into the wall behind you.

You were still mad as hell, but his lips felt so familiar, your arousal crept up through the cracks of your irritation and made you kiss him back harder, fighting him for dominance. His hand came to grab your throat, squeezing harshly, his fingers digging into your delicate skin, making you whine into the kiss. He was never this rough with you, and you were loving it.

He pulled back, his free hand coming down to undo his belt quickly, pulling the leather through the loops as he threw it somewhere on the floor of the filthy bathroom floor, "Don't you ever talk about someone else fucking you in front of me." He growled, squeezing your throat to emphasize his words, You smiled through the lack of oxygen, little black dots clouding your vision, but you still felt the need to fight back. "Fuck you." You whispered.

Geto spun you around in one swift movement, making you face the wall, your hands coming to brace against the brick as you felt him lift your skirt over the curve of your ass, your panties being roughly yanked down midway on your thighs. Everything was happening so quickly, the adrenaline pumping through your veins only fueling your arousal. You knew this was not a good idea, but your body was too weak to Geto.

Geto shook his head as his eyes came into contact with your dripping pussy. He bit his lip between his teeth, pulling his cock out through his pants as he gave himself a couple rough strokes, his hand sliding down to your ass as he rubbed his thumb through your folds, spreading them and rubbing your wetness around before he dipped the digit into your hole, slowly pumping in and out. He was absolutely fuming at the thought of you giving this to someone else, he wondered if you had in the time you haven't been talking.

"You this wet from that fucking loser, or from me yelling at you?" Geto asked, pulling his thumb back to leave a rough smirk on your ass, pushing his hips forward as he rubbed his tip along your folds, getting his cock slick with your juices. "You're so full of yourself, shoulda seen the way he was touching me under the table." You giggled, turning your head to the side to look at him. You kept your words vague on purpose to piss Geto off. He had been touching you under the table, but only your thigh.

"You fucking slut." Geto grit through his teeth, his hand coming to grip the back of your neck, his fingers pinching your skin with how hard he was gripping you. "And you still wanna fuck me." You laughed, the noise getting cut short when he pushed his cock into you all at once with zero warning, keeping his balls pressed to your ass as he let his cock throb inside your walls still, his back pressing agaisnt your chest as he leaned into your ear, his deep voice whispering, "That's enough out of you." His voice alone was enough to send shivers down your spine.

"Fuck!" you yelled when he pulled his hips back before he bullied his cock back into your unprepped walls, stretching you open as he meanly fucked you against the wall. "Shit- Think he could fuck you better than me? Huh?" Geto asked, leaning back as he pressed the back of your neck into the wall, his other hand holding under your hip as he held you in an arch, the pace of his hips making your knees squeeze together, bending slightly at the stimulation.

You brought one of your hands down between your thighs to rub little circles into your clit, your eyes crossing at the feeling. Geto must have felt how tight you got because he groaned through his teeth, his hand leaving your hip for a moment to come down to leave a harsh smack on your ass. "Fuck- I don't know, heh- If you didn't interrupt me I w-would've found out. He shook his head, smiling through the malice he felt coursing through his veins. "You're such a fucking brat." Smack, "Just sayin' that shit to get me worked up so I'll fuck you like the whore you are."

You wanted to hit him back every time he slapped your ass. Sure, it felt good, but you knew he was trying to put you in your place, so the action made a vein pop out on your forehead. You were so glad he couldn't see your face right now. Your words might've been sharp and snarky, but your face was flushed red and your eyes were rolling back in your head every time his fat cock thrust right against your sweet spot deep inside you, the one only he could reach. "I-I hate you-" You moaned out between his mean thrusts.

You heard him coo in response, his hand leaning the back of your neck so he could grip your waist with both hands and yank you back on his cock harder, fucking whines from your lips. "Don't talk to me like that baby, hurts my feelings~" Geto retorted, his jaw dropping in a small o when you rubbed your clit harder at his words, making your hole clench around him so tightly it felt like you were trying to milk him of all he was worth.

"Would you really be squeezing me this tight if you hated me? Hmm?" He teased, practically slamming your ass back on his pelvis, loud squelching noises bouncing off the walls. Thank god you were in this loud-ass club or everyone would know exactly what was going on, not like you really cared. "Shut up and fuck m-me." You responded curtly, closing your eyes as you tried to focus on reaching your high, timing your finger rubbing circles against your clit with his thrusts inside you.

"That's what I'm doing, dumb s-slut." Geto groaned, dropping his gaze to where the two of you were connected, feeling a warmth in his stomach bloom at the white ring of cum that had formed around the base of his dick. "Godd pussy is fucking milking me- you cant survive without me, need me- need this dick." Geto spoke between rough thrusts, his own words working himself up as he felt his high creep over him.

You grit your teeth at his words, moans spilling from your lips without your permission. He was fucking the shit out of you, you don't think he's ever been so rough before. His words, his hips, his hands, all of it, so fucking rough, and it was quickly working you up to your orgasm. You were too overwhelmed, tears started forming in your eyes with all of the stimulation and emotion you were feeling. He was hammering into your g-spot, making your legs shake uncontrollably.

"God- fuck- Gonna make me cum inside my pussy, my fucking pussy-" Geto babbled, shaking his head as he tried to get a peek at your face, noticing how you had bitten your lip between your teeth, tears streaming down your face. "Fuck, you crying? Feels that good?" He laughed. You didn't want him to know how good you were feeling, didn't want him to know his words were true; you couldn't live without him or his dick. His cock alone was literally fucking tears out of your eyes, it was so intense.

"Not gonna speak huh? Fine, stay quiet then." Your ex-boyfriend huffed, looking down at your pussy stretched around his girth as he fucked himself to his orgasm, you close behind him. "Shit- shit I'm coming- take it baby fu-ck~" Geto groaned, leaning over your back, burring his face into your neck. You felt his teeth dig into your neck when you felt the first rope of his warm seed shoot inside you, making your orgasm crash over you.

The two of you rode your highs out together, Geto's hips weakly and unceremoniously thrusting into your sopping cunt, working you through your orgasms. Geto jerked against your body, his strong hands wrapping around your torso as he kept you pressed against him, unloading his cum into your abused pussy. You whimpered into the wall, feeling his teeth leave your neck when he started coming down from his high, his face keeping its place in your neck.

The two of you stayed quiet for a while, relishing in the silence save for the dull booming of the club music echoing through the walls of the bathroom. Geto's hands were petting the skin of your hips, and for just a moment, you let yourself think everything was okay, losing yourself in the feeling; until he spoke. "I am sorry you know. So fucking sorry." He whispered into your neck, not daring to move.

You heaved out a sigh, pushing his arms off of you. You reached behind you and pushed his pelvis back, wincing in overstimulation when his softened cock slid out of your walls, his cum chasing after him, making your face scrunch at the uncomfortable feeling. "That wasn't what this was." You responded coldly. Bending down you pulled your panties up, keeping his cum snug inside you.

You turned around to watch him open your mouth, to which you held your hand up, stopping him; amazed when he actually listened. You pushed past him, bumping his shoulder in the process. Without another word, you unlocked the bathroom door and on shaky legs, left the small room and out into the nightclub to find Shoko and Utahime and get the hell out of there. Geto sighed deeply, tipping his head back as he stared at the ceiling before he closed his eyes, feeling the remorse wash over him, "fuck."

#jjk smut #gojo smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #jjk x reader #jjk x y/n #jujutsu kaisen x reader #gojo x reader #gojo satoru #gojo satoru smut #gojo satoru x reader #angst #geto smut #getou suguru x reader #jujutsu geto #geto x reader #jjk geto #geto suguru x reader #geto x you #geto suguru #getou suguru smut #geto x y/n #geto suguru drabble #getou suguru x you #jjk suguru #jujutsu kaisen suguru #satoru gojo #gojo

[rosamundpkes]

Hello!! A couple years ago I posted this tutorial for making gifs with a moving overlay effect. In the two and a half years since I made that tutorial, I've learned some new tricks for this gif effect but most importantly I've learned how to explain things better.

For that reason, I've created this new and improved tutorial for my overlay gif effect. The basics are the same but it's simpler, I go into more detail, give better explanations, and have more comprehensive instructions.

The easiest way to do this effect with this method is to use smart objects and work in timeline. For this tutorial, I’m assuming you know the basics of giffing like cropping, resizing, colouring, etc. If you need help with this I’d suggest you look at some other tutorials and guides!!

First, we’re going to start off with three things.

1. A completed gif converted into a smart object that is going to be the base gif. I'm going to call this "gif1". You’ll want this gif to be at least 3 seconds because it needs to last as long as the overlay plus a little bit of extra time in the beginning. This is the base gif I’ll be using in the example (except I trimmed it so that I could meet the size limit).

2. A second completed gif converted into a smart object that is going to go over the base gif. We’re going to call this "gif2". This gif should be at least 2 seconds but I’ve made it work with shorter. Gif2 needs to be the same dimensions or bigger than gif1.  This is the gif I'll be using in the example (except I trimmed it so that I could meet the size limit).

3. An overlay in video form. These can be found on tumblr and youtube by search for overlay or transition packs. For this example, I'll be using an ink drop overlay I found on youtube.

Step 1: Turning the overlay video into an overlay gif Most overlays aren’t going to instantly fit the gif effect you’re trying to achieve right away. This is the overlay I got from youtube and as you can see it’s too slow and needs a crop/resize to be usable.

To fix it, I sped the frame rate up, cropped the overlay, and resized the overlay so it fits over my base gif. I also sharpened the overlay (500% amount, 0.3px radius) so that the edges were smooth. This is the new overlay gif and the one I’ll be using for the gif effect. 

A tip: I also like to add a brightness/contrast layer to get rid of the grey on the overlay gif. Because we’re working with blending modes to achieve this effect, any parts of the overlay that are grey will be a blended mix of gif1 and gif2. If you think this will look good for your gif effect then don't worry about it!

Another tip: try to get the entire overlay movement to fit into a 2-3 second window. Anything longer than that will likely be cut off when you have to trim your gif to meet the upload size limit and it would suck to only have half of the overlay.

Step 2: Creating the gif effect Drag a copy of gif2 and a copy of the overlay gif onto the gif1 canvas. I like to use Ctrl+Shift+V so that the layers are pasted in the same position as they were on the previous canvas. MAKE SURE that both overlay layers are in the same position on the canvas. If one of the overlay layers is higher/lower/etc. than the other then the effect won't work properly.

Then, make a second copy of the overlay and invert it (Ctrl+i). These are the layers you should have:

Before you go any further, trim gif2 and both overlay layers so they are all the same length.

Now, we need to rearrange the layers and set blending modes. The top layer should be whichever overlay goes from black to white. This is because when we change the blending modes, the white part of this layer will disappear and look like its being replaced by gif2. In this case, that is the overlay (inverted) layer. Then we want gif2, the other overlay layer, and then gif1.

A tip: this process can be done the other way where the top layer is the overlay that goes from white > black however, you are much more likely to have an error where there is a grey/black line around the overlay effect in your final gif. In order to avoid that, I always use the black > white layer on top.

Next, set the top overlay layer to darken. You should only see the black part from the overlay and gif2 should fill in the white part. Here’s how that looks in my example. 

Next, select the top overlay layer and gif2 and convert both layers into one smart object. Your layers tab should look like this now. 

Now, set the new layer’s blending mode to lighten and the overlay layer’s blending mode to darken. Once you do this, you should be able to see gif1 as well as the overlay gif. 

Step 3: Timeline and exporting At the moment, gif1 is still significantly longer than the overlay gifs. Since this gif is just over 10 mb (which is pretty small for this effect) I’m going to trim about 1/4 of a second off the end of gif1 and then drag the overlay layers so they all end at the same time. 

Now you’re free to export the gif! This is the finished effect for the example gif! 

A tip: sometimes, when I convert to from timeline to frames, the gif becomes a little longer and slower. It has to do with different frame rates across the videos and photoshop but I'm not smart enough to understand it. If that happens, just set all the frames with the overlay layers to 0.04 speed instead of 0.05.

And we're finished! I hope that was helpful and made sense. If you have any questions feel free to drop them in my inbox or send me a message!! <3

#gif tutorial #allresources #completeresources #dailyresources #chaoticresources #ps tutorial #photoshop tutorial #usertreena #tuserssam #usernik #tuserabbie #tuserace #userk8 #usershreyu #uservalentina #useryoshi #userannalise #userrobin #usersalty #uservivaldi

[alphabetatoes]

you'd make me pay? (jjk x reader)

aka the one where you joke w the men of jjk about paying to get affection (g. satoru + n. kento + k. choso + f. toji)

a.n.: reader is a comedienne n loves to mess w these men (the way the toji one actually happened to me 🙃)

c.w.: 18+, mdni

gojo

"C'mon- Wanna mark you up. Let everyone know you're mine." Satoru had spent practically the entire night trying to convince you to let him give you a hickey.

"Give me $10 and I'll think about it." The issue wasn't Gojo's insistence on marking you. It was his inability to adhere to subtlety. Yet he adored when he could see those red splotches of skin peaking out of your shirt collar.

Gojo stretches his body across your legs, his frame managing to span the entirety of the couch. "Toru, you're crushing me." You move the rogue white strands of hair out of his face.

"Please babe. Need you so bad." His bottom lip bulges as his whining continues.

You cave to his begging, giving him a light pat on the arm. "Fine, you big baby."

Gojo lifts himself from you and pulls you into his lap, a goofy smile strung across his face.. He takes a chaste kiss from your lips, reveling in his victory. You tilt your head to the side as he buries himself in the crook, nipping and sucking along your neck.

nanami

Sharing a bath was not only a way for the two of you to spend time with one another, but to also relax from the stress of the day. Kento had poured the two of you a glass of wine, and you lit a candle to aid in the tranquility.

You're sat on opposite sides of the tub, indulging in the warmth of the water. "C'mere. Want you to sit in my lap while I wash your hair." Kento's hands draw soothing circles on your ankles, gently tapping them to get your attention.

You sink further into the bubble bath, taking a sip of the wine. "I'm so comfy though." The idea of having to move your tired limbs on your own was a travesty. "I'll need at least $15 if you expect me to move on my own."

"How about I make you dinner and give you a massage after instead?"

"You drive a hard bargain, Mr. Nanami." You feign concentration as you mull over his proposal. "But you've got yourself a deal." You clink your wine glass into his, cheers-ing to the proposal.

Once you're seated on Kento's lap, his strong hands make idle work to wash your hair. You let a hand sink to his waist, stroking against his cock to help him relax as well.

choso

You were nestled into Choso's chest as the two of you watched a movie in the living room. One hand wrapped around your waist, pulling you into him. His other hand laid rest on the top of your leg, which you let rest draped over his.

"Can I kiss you?" Choso's breath tickles your ear as he whispers his request.

"For a dollar." You purse your lips, waiting for Choso to lean in.

He reaches for the wallet in his back pocket, pulling out a bill. "I only have a $20- y'know what? Just keep it." As he shoves the bill into your hand, you gently push it away.

"I was only kidding, baby." You try not to laugh too hard as you quell his nerves. The sincerity staining Choso's face has you melting. You give him a sweet smile, grabbing onto his cheeks to pepper him with kisses.

toji

Toji was out of town on a job, leaving you unfulfilled for about a week. To help sate that aching feeling, you'd planned to video chat

“Your tits look great in that top.” Toji eyes you up and down, flashing a coy wink when he meets your gaze. “Think they’d look even better without it, though.”

Feeling playful, you give him an ultimatum. “Give me $5 and I’ll do it.”

“You’d make me pay?” His smirk turns into a pout, frustrated by your proposition. Whether he'd admit it or not, Toji missed you just as much. Craving for any glimpse of the body he had longed for.

“Now it’s $20.”

“Cut me a break, doll. Don’t need you actin’ like a brat when you got me all worked up like this.”

Toji pans the phone down to his waist. The material of his sweatpants is tented up as his dick strains against it. You flip him off and flash him a quick look at your tits, not quite giving into his demands.

He’d owe you big time once he got home.

#gojo satoru x reader #nanami kento x reader #choso kamo x reader #toji fushiguro x reader #jjk fluff #jjk smut

[sim0nril3y]

First Meeting

Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Civilian!Reader

Scenario: Being dragged out for the night with friends Simon find himself desperately trying to be alone when a girl with a broken shoe stumble across him.

Note: Set in 2014

Warnings: No mask Simon (It's my personal headcanon in his regular life he probably wouldn't wear it), briefs mentions of abuse, mentions of smoking, mentions of alcohol, suggestive conversation, mentions of age gap, derogatory comments. Note: I made this an OC rather than a Reader because she has her own backstory and family and dreams that may not align with the whole Reader aspect of writing. If you guys do want something like that let me know and I'll see if I can work something out.

30-08-2020 Edit: I’ve updated this fanfic to be a reader rather than OC.

Returning from deployment never really changed for Simon. It wasn’t something he ever enjoyed. There was something about the regiment of the forces that grounded him, something about the strict timelines and regulations. None of that mattered back home. It wasn’t like he could speak to his "friends" about the trauma of being away in war-torn countries. It wasn’t like they even asked; they knew better.

Occasionally on nights out Simon would get asked the rude question of his death tally. He’d simply brush off the question. Honestly, he wasn’t sure if he had a reasonable answer to it anymore. No, instead he would pretend like he didn’t hear as other friends chastised for even asking that sick question. Why was it sick? Did they not think of him as a killer? Maybe that tainted their idyllic persona of the perfect solider. Simon knew that war was disgusting and bloody and each time he took another life a little bit of his own chipped away too.

Stand outside he brought a cigarette to his lips, inhaling slowly and just enjoying the cold winter air. “Bollocks…” A voice slipped from beside him, glancing over his shoulder to see the slight frame of a woman bent down trying to repair the band of her high-heel. As always, he stayed quiet, used to just observing and not interrupting the flow. “Need some help, sweetheart~” A drunk came stumbling in her direction.

In an instant she shot to her feet, stumbling in her broken heel as you turned to face the offending man. “Oh-” “Gonna catch y’death out here, sweetheart. Specially in that little dress…” He commented and Simon gave himself a moment to take in your outfit, it was particularly short from a night-out in January, not that any of the other birds were dressed any different. “Why don’t we get a taxi back to my flat.” He offered and Simon saw the way your shoulders seemed to tense at the suggestion. “Oi…” His voice began before his brain registered that this was a poor idea. “Fuck off and leave her alone.”

“The fuck you think you are?” Came a drunken drawl back in his direction. “Think I’m gonna be your problem if you don’t leave her alone.” He rose then, towering over the two of them you, double both your weight, double both your size. “Pshh… fuckin’ have the slag…” Drunkenly he turned and stumbled back into the club. “Thanks…” Your voice was small as you tilted your had up to make eye-contact. “S’nothing…” Then turning he moved back to where he was sitting.

“Mind if I join you?” Your voice was quiet, flasing a packet of cigarettes in his direction. “Not gonna stop you.” Simon answered with a short shrug. “Fuckin’ shoe…” You grumbled under your breath before joining him delicately, sitting close enough that it looked friendly but far enough away to give him plenty of space. It a light voice your informed him your name. It was pretty. It suited you. The way your voice cut through the cold air, warm personality shining even on this night.

Simon didn’t reply, simply continued to smoke his cigarette in the quiet whilst you lit up your own beside him. “Y’even old enough to be in there?” Suddenly you looked at him before snickering. “Turned 21 months ago.” You announced proudly. “Even got my ID to prove it.” Fuck, you was young. 9 years younger than him, in fact. Whilst he was being beaten and abused by his sick father you was just coming into this world. Fuck, don’t think about any of that. “So, do I get to know your name? Gonna have to tell the story of how a dashing smoker saved me from a weirdo.”

Dashing? Were you flirting with him? You… were way out of his league. Jesus, why was you even paying him any mind when you could go home with practically any lad in there. Why did that sentiment bother him so much? “Simon.” He ground out finally, putting a firm stop to his inner monologue. “Nice name.” “No, it’s not. Just a name.” He couldn’t help the smirk that tugged at his lips. “Don’t be stupid.” He watched the way your pretty face contorted into a smile and then fell into a fit of giggles. It was fucking bliss. The way that you laughed. It was almost fucking musical, or at least it was to Simon’s ears. “Nice fuckin’ name…” He repeated shaking his head. “Kid, you’ve got to work on technique a bit.” Then shaking his head as he took another long drag of his cigarette.

“Well, maybe you could help with that…” Your voice was suggestive and inquisitive, putting the question out there loosely enough that he could see it as a joke or an invitation. “M’sure there are plenty boys your age that could help with that.” There was finality to his tone that even you could sense. Jesus, you were 21 by your own confession. You was so fresh and new to the dating scene. He, on the other hand, was just beginning his 30s, though his years of service made him feel a lot older. There was no way he could just fuck around with a girl like you. It wouldn’t fair.

Sensing his apprehension you simply shrugged your shoulders, as carefree as ever and then muttered. “Maybe~” Nabbing a nearby empty cigarette packet and jotting down your details onto the card before sliding it in his direction. “Guess if you change your mind, you know where to find me.”

A flurry of girls stumbled from the club, surrounding her in a moment in a loud chatter of excitement. “We’ve been looking for you everywhere!” “C’mon, next club~” “Who is that?” “What happened to your shoe?” The questions buzzed around his mind and you kept his gaze until whisked away by her friends. “Fuckin’ hell…” Cursing under his breath as he inspected the packet between his fingers, taking the final drag of his cigarette and then flicking it aside.

Masterlist | Ask | 28-08-2023

#simon ghost x reader #ghost x oc #simon riley x oc #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley #ghost cod #ghost x reader #cod mw2 #cod x reader #cod x oc #simon riley #simon riley x you #ghost mw2

[ontheoddoccasioniwritestuff]

A Spark To Ignite (Bodyguard!141 x Famous!Reader Preferences) Mild NSFW

Summary: You see each other every day. He works to keep you protected - a perk of your job and his. Occasionally feeling moments of passion and promises of something more between you two are only normal, right?

AN: I've got another bodyguard!AU for the 141 that's more angst based. I'll post that later. I've also got a Price x Escort!Reader in the works plus the end of "Star-crossed in the Crosshairs". Let me know if you have any requests/anything you'd rather see first <3

Content warning: Minors DNI, 18+ only, allusions to sexual tension/arousal, second person, no use of Y/N

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick

Another notification of being tagged in the same paparazzi image hit your notification inbox, yet you still opened it and shared a giddy grin at the Instagram feed.

You hadn’t been fussed about going running; it was the company rather than the activity that attracted you. But one thing you were certain about the sport was that no one ever looked flattering whilst doing it.

Yet there he was, your Kyle, looking like a model for Sports Direct. He was snapped midstride, his biceps practically rippling in the glow of the morning sun. There was even a hint of his lean washboard torso with the flap of his t-shirt’s raised coyly.

However, his dimpled smile aimed was the main focus of the headline – mainly because it was aimed at you and your equally elated expression. You blamed the euphoria of exercised endorphins but the way the photo was framed (plus the gaudy text declaring it so) made it seem as if you and Kyle were a true couple in love. It looked incredibly staged. Kyle was an “unknown” though so most budding theorists did not support any claims of it being a publicity stunt. Just two lovers out on a jaunty little run together.

You saved then added the photo to the folder of photos that captured you out with your bodyguard and the headlines that (sadly) misidentified him as your new boyfriend.

“Hey Kyle!”

Blending some fruits. His duties did not include head chef but you had long since allowed him access to your kitchen, even storing some of his favourites around the cupboards and fridge in case he fancied a snack.

Your phone was thrust up into his eyeline, you beaming behind it, “Another Pulitzer.”

Abandoning his smoothie temporarily, Kyle cupped his hand around yours to steady your swaying phone.

“They need to up their standards. Taking you for a jog is hardly a date you deserve,” He commented.

“Ooo, do tell: what do I deserve?”

“Well,” Kyle began pouring the smoothie into a glass, “I could go classic, take you to out on the town to a special place only I know about.”

You leaned onto your    elbows, chin resting in your palms, cheeks creased in a cheeky smile. “Mm-hmm.”

“Wine you, dine you, treat you like a deity,” Kyle said as if he was listing off menial tasks on his day to day whilst collecting another glass for the remaining smoothie. “Take you back to mine if you fancied it, another drink whilst we talk the night away and time passing without us noticing.” Graciously, he slid the other one across the countertop, and your fingers locked against his warm ones wrapped against the cool glass. “Then work up a sweat in a whole other way.”

Blinking away the glaze that had coated your eyes, you restrained the urge to gulp back your desire. A fresh breath in your lungs recovered you quickly and you managed to conjure a teasing quip amidst the fog that had settled over your thoughts.

“Think you could keep up with me?” You said before sipping the smoothie.

The sweetness of it countered Kyle’s smirking reply: “You and I both know I can more than handle you.”

“Better train harder then,” You said, proud of yourself for not stumbling over your playful banter, “I’m a catch, so you better be fast enough.”

“Jog, same time tomorrow?”

“Sure.” And, not missing in the reflection of the oven door how Kyle – for a split second – looked you up and down, you did your best not to collapse or squeal during your return to the sitting room.

-----------

Johnny "Soap" MacTavish

You leant against the ropes of the new boxing ring with a panting chest and aching legs. Jellied bones dared to let you collapse to the ground but at least, since your self-defence training had begun, you were lasting the full session rather than just after the warm-up.

“I think we’re done for today! Did good, held your own.” Johnny gave you a hearty slap on your back that almost ricocheted you off the ropes. “I’ve still got a few reps to get in.” He leapt out the ring and swigged from his water bottle, tossing you your own.

“Show-off!” You called out after him, though all in good fun, as you caught your bottle and your breath.

Technically, since you didn’t have anything else to do, you could get a head-start on getting cleaned up. You were in the privacy of your own gym, added at your request so that Johnny could train you better and you could do so without being ogled or papped.

Quite hypocritical it was then, that you lingered in the ring to watch Johnny stack up his weights on either side of the bar (the ones you purchased as part of his perks of working for you).

Your day-job came in handy with pretending to do some cooldown stretches, sipping from and pouring your water bottle over yourself. Well, you were actually doing those things but acting as if they were the only things that occupied your thoughts was the main role you were playing. From the corner of your eye, you observed Johnny squatted with a stack of weights lining each shoulder. God, those arms were practically popping, his thighs bulging with the effort of remaining planted on the floor and folding up and down beneath the hefty set. Mesmerising, you forgot to keep up your pretence by the second load of reps.

It left your lips before you could reconsider for the tenth time: “Bet you couldn’t lift me.”

Soap paused in a deep squat and looked up through his lashes at you. Meeting his steely blue gaze was easier than anticipated but maintaining it as he righted himself and rested the weights back on the rack with a restrained grunt was the difficult part.

At first, you thought maybe his silence was his answer. Then Johnny knelt down and assumed the plank position.

“Get on,” He said, loud and clear.

You still doubted him, “Seriously?”

“You made the bet. Now lie in it.”

As elegantly as possible, you dismounted the ring before making your way over to his side. He showed no signs of tiredness during your journey, nor did he when you balanced yourself across his broad back.

“Ok, ready,” You said, your voice close to wobbling.

And so it began. Up and down, you could feel how his body sustained you through both your and his workout gear. His back muscles rippled beneath you and his elbows kissed yours each time he lowered you both to the floor. Out of nowhere, you began giggling and you couldn’t figure out how to put a stop to it. Giddiness flooded your entire system until you were beyond drunk.

Suddenly, your world tilted and you rolled off onto the mat but Johnny refused you any respite, flipping you over onto your back again, like a pancake.

“I win,” He panted, “What’s my prize?”

Still giggling, you felt your cheeks burning at the sight of him hovering over you, his skin glowing, his chest panting. His unrelenting stare had you locked beneath him, barred between his trunk-like arms. If this was your prison, you’d commit any offence to stay in there. God you were so close you could kiss him-

Nope.

“You finish your workout early so you can have a nice hot shower sooner?” You said, covering your mouth to cough and clear your airways of whatever shit you breathed in to make you even consider making out with your bodyguard. You must’ve looked so daft; you blamed the endorphins. Then you blamed Johnny completely as he started to laugh down at you, sending your thighs quaking as he crawled off you and ordered you to get cleaned up – that he’d be in shortly after as a hint to not use all the hot water. As you drifted back to the bathroom, you tried not to think about him in the shower or how you wanted to offer to scrub him down.

-----------

Simon "Ghost" Riley

“Say the word and I’ll have him removed.”

For a man so stoic and intimidating, Simon sure made you smile a lot. You needed it after that… “interesting” conversation with one of the party’s guests – someone who you knew to be a detractor behind your back.

“It’s fine, really,” You insisted with a winning smile.

Casting a glance over your shoulder where your shadow dutifully remained was a reward you would never be exhausted of. Simon looked so good in his tux. Plus he’d humoured you and worn the silk black mask rather than his usual. You were brimming with privilege at seeing his hair styled beyond the flattened fuzz it would take on after being beneath the balaclava for twenty hours at a time. Even more so, you got to see his tattoos pairing nicely with them like a good bottle of wine.

You could hear the smirk hiding beneath his mask. His veined hands clasped firmly in front of him as he leant close, just his mask separating his lips and your ear.

“We could make a break for it. Ditch these twats. Get a drive-thru.”

He knew you never would agree to it; this gala meant a lot to you. Such a tempting offer though, in such a tempting voice too. His rough tone did nothing but delight you when you heard it. Turning to look at him, you took note of the two mere inches between your face and his.

He continued, “You’ve shown your face long enough.”

“Getting jealous of them stealing my attention?” You asked provocatively.

Simon let out a low laugh, shaking his head fondly with just a hint of patronising, “That’s funny, sweetheart.”

“Well, I’m sure there are plenty of people who are dying to still talk to me.” You gestured with the glass he’d gotten (and checked for any malicious interference) for you around at the room, those who would never have the privilege of being a part of your and Simon’s bubble.

“Just as long as you and everyone else knows that I’m the one who takes you home.”

The implications of that statement swelled in your chest, nestling into your heart like a cat in a warm patch of sunlight. Intently, he looked at your face for your reaction. That was the thing with Simon: always observing, recording every flicker, every possibility in that incredible mind of his. You were certain he could see into your soul with those all-seeing eyes. He kept you safe, kept you on your toes, kept you happy.

But the bubble burst before you could hit back and you abruptly checked yourself back into work mode. The person who’d spoken loud enough to bring you back down to Earth didn’t seem to notice your slip up. You, however, were more than acutely aware of Simon’s lingering presence at your side. So close the hairs on your arm extended on goosebumps, coaxing and begging to touch him.

As you were once again left alone, you found yourself stifled by your need to be nearer to Simon and quickly decided the alcohol was to blame. “I need the bathroom.”

“This way.” His hand grazing the small of your back had an impact tripled, but you managed to submit it to travelling through your nose, rather than gasping out your mouth. But you were certain that Simon had caught you. He never missed a thing.

-----------

John "Bravo Six" Price

After shaking hands again with the presenter and declaring a few thanks to the crew, you were guided straight to the dressing room by Price. You took off your own microphone and handed it to him, which he immediately passed to a nervous stagehand. Your name in Arial font on an A4 sheet of paper greeted you from the dressing room door.

Sometimes you needed that extra time to decompress and he knew before you did more often than not. Today was not one of those days, though you did request to stop and pick up the bouquet that had been there to welcome you in when you first arrived. It was so large, your favourites blooming in the dew-dropped cellophane, that you had trouble waving to the folks who’d stuck around at the barrier, Price’s arms keeping you walking and guiding you towards the car.

For your safety, you had to go in the back where the tinted windows offered you a hint of privacy. It was a thorn in your side though. You longed to sit beside Price as he fought playfully with you over the music, grumbled with the directions his phone offered, collected your drive-in order. Then maybe your daydream of being his partner could have a little more to stand on.

A true gentleman as well as your protector, Price walked you up to the house and let you set up your evening meal while he made final checks to secure your house again. Normality for you was hearing him walk around and jiggle door handles and returning only when he was certain none had been tampered with and your cameras were fully functioning.

“Anything else you need from me before I leave for the night?” He asked, standing at ease in front of you.

You gestured to the bouquet you were cradling like a baby, “Thank you for the flowers.”

His brows furrowed for a split second then a sheepish smile smoothed out the lines in his forehead, highlighting his eyes instead.

“You caught me,” He said quietly, sparing a look at the flowers he asked the host to order for you, then back at you.

Squinting mischievously, you asked, “Were you really hiding it?”

“I suppose not.” He let his smile soften and dull. Back to business. Yet you could’ve sworn he glanced at your mouth before he asked, “Anything else you need?”

Your heart yearned to beg him to stay and tell you what else he did behind the scenes without a hint of expecting more, so that you could show him how much you cared in an appropriately equal response. His favourite whiskey perhaps for when he was off duty, or one day doing something together that he wanted to do so it wasn’t just looking after you. It was more than that, the job. He’d told you so. But you didn’t want to just be a job to him.

Quietly, you maintained your decorum, “No, thank you.”

John nodded his head, “Of course.”

It was as he was about to cross the threshold when you started to ask, “Do you-”

Not even three words made it out before Price whipped around, already returning to where he’d stood before. You could feel your lungs struggling under the strain of maintaining steady breathing at the gesture, suspending all the blood in your face (and maybe your groin). It stopped your question in its path, as if it was waiting until Price was listening attentively (he always was for you).

“Yes?” He prompted, his voice soft as if to coax you out of your hideout.

Fidgeting with the bouquet still, you cleared your throat and began again, “Do you want to join me, for dinner?”

Price’s hands, now at his sides, tapped on his thighs thrice before he said, “Two conditions.”

“Name them.”

Perhaps you said that a little too quickly because it made him laugh, which only made things worse for you. You had a real weakness for that laugh.

“You teach me whatever you’re planning on making, and you let me help you make it.”

Your heart accelerated and you dismissed his with a smile and a slight self-deprecating remark to soften the weight of this decision you were both making: “It’s nothing special.”

“Those are my terms,” Price insisted. His eyes creased as a smile grew on his face, more beautiful than the flowers forgotten the second you placed them into the vase. But at least it gave you to excuse to look away and gather your expression into something more collected as you ordered him to go and wash his hands.

#kyle garrick fanfic #kyle garrick x reader #gaz x reader #johnny mactavish x reader #johnny mactavish fanfic #soap x reader #simon riley x reader #simon riley fanfic #ghost x reader #john price x reader #john price fanfic #captain john price x reader #cod x reader #cod fanfic #my writing #preferences #r: gn

[n0tamused]

Comfort

Content: fluff, the general comforts you and reassures you that all will be okay, he calls you 'dove', old writing from nearly a year ago raahh

 A soft touch brushes against the side of your chin before the same hand comes to rest on your shoulder, and Jing Yuan’s large frame leans in to nudge the side of his face against your own. A soft ‘hm’ flies from his throat, a question posed without any words but he knows you hear him, and you understand. His other arm wraps around your lower back only to hold you and pull you closer, giving you all the physical reassurance he could, offering his presence and warmth as a comfort. Your silence only made him worry more, and it affirmed what he was thinking. He nudged his cheek against the side of your head gently once more, a low exhale falling from his nose as he kept running his fingers through your hair. He wouldn't let you be in this alone. He'd never. Jing Yuan slowly inched away, only to have space to plant his lips onto the crown of your head, a small smile growing in his lips as he searched for your distant eyes that seemed to harbor all the weight of the world, all on their own. "Hey now..look at me.." he prompted, one finger sliding under your chin to get you to look up. 

"Everything will come at its own time, alright? Stressing over things will only make them worse, and tomorrow won’t come any sooner because of that, so how about you and I relax, hm? Just to forget everything, just for a night.. What do you say? I’ll help you get into this work once you’re better rested” You felt sick of everything, all of it made your head spin and throb and the soft rumble of his voice was like a spoonful of honey, just what you needed.

"My sweet little dove... I'm so sorry to see you going through this.. I wish I could take it all away, change it with a snap of my fingers. I hate to see you so down” He coos, a small frown playing across his lips as he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, and his other arm pull you closer against his chest. 

"However, I need you to remember that you're not alone on this journey. Whoever may come and go in your life is not worth the stress you're putting yourself through. And I'll always be by your side..one form or another.. understand? I’ll always be here, for as long as you want me..”

Ⓒ n0tamused. Do not repost, translate, edit, and/or copy any of my works. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.

#-dragon.treasure #fluff #jing yuan #jing yuan x reader #jing yuan x you #jing yuan x gn reader #jing yuan imagine #jing yuan fluff #honkai star rail #honkai star rail imagine #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail x you #honkai star rail x gender neutral reader #honkai star rail jing yuan

[copperbadge]

Immediate Writer's Block

Had a comment on another post where I thought I'd probably need more space than the notes in which to respond, so:

constant-state-of-self-discovery Oh I get the envy I feel it right now how the fuck do you manage to write without impassable writers block after 5-9 sentences because I haven't fucking figured it out lol

I do have some advice on this!

I think most writers get blocked from time to time, it's normal and my general strategy is just to wait it out, but if you're frequently blocked after only writing a very little bit, I think the problem is one of two things: either you don't know what you want to achieve with the scene you're writing, or you don't know what should happen next within the scene to achieve that goal. If you frame "I'm blocked" as "I don't have an answer I need" then often you move from just sitting there, sweating and staring at a blank page, to thinking productively about how you're going to get where you're going. It's the difference between not knowing an answer and not knowing an answer but knowing where to look for it.

An invaluable piece of advice for this, which I think I picked up from someone who got it off a National Novel Writing Month messageboard, is "When in doubt, ninjas attack." It's not meant to be literal, you don't need to have ninjas or fight scenes just because you don't know what to do, but it helps to get the creativity flowing again. If you don't know what should happen next, or you know but you're having trouble actually writing the scene, it can be very helpful to induce a moment of uncertainty or surprise -- to have a metaphorical ninja attack. One time I did this literally -- the POV character was just on the road somewhere and I didn't know how to get them from a pastoral country road to their actual destination in an interesting way, so I had them get attacked by highway bandits and have to fight them off, which also allowed me to demonstrate that the character had significant unarmed combat skills. But it can also just be like, two characters who are having a boring conversation can be interrupted by a third person, even just a stranger asking for directions, or there can be, IDK, an explosion, or something goes missing, or etc.

Sometimes it also helps to leave it alone but keep it in your mind and go do something else -- listen to a podcast, take a walk, read a book, not because those things are distracting but because all our inputs eventually feed into our brain and come out as reactions. If you're thinking about your book while you're wandering around a park, something you see in the park might have an impact on it. If you've got YOUR story in mind while reading someone else's, you might be more inclined to look at what they're saying and see what you think of it, how it might play into your work.

And honestly, sometimes you just gotta go past it. I'm working on the next Shivadh novel right now and it opens basically with Simon the chef getting into a spat with his love-interest-to-be over some cheese. He want the cheese, she won't sell him the cheese, so they get off to a very contentious start. But I suck at writing conflict especially when it's basically "A character I like is being pompous and another character I want people to find likable is being stubborn and somewhat unpleasant". I've been stalled on it for a while. But I know where the scene ends up, like I do know what the goal is, so I just...skipped it and went on to writing a scene I like better, where they meet a second time and actually discover each others' identity and that they're about to be forced into the grownup equivalent of a school project. Once I've gotten dug deeper into the story I'll come back and write it, and by then I'll have the benefit of knowing the love interest a bit better.

So yeah -- I think a lot of breaking a writer's block, especially when you don't need rest but are just stumped about what to do, is to twist and look at it from another angle. It's not that you don't know what to write, or don't want to write what you know you have to -- it's that you don't have the correct answer to a question, or you need to leave that part alone to ferment and come back to it later. At least, for me.

#writing #constant-state-of-self-discovery #writer's block #inspiration #archive

[radiant-reid]

Hiiii cate can I please have a blurb where Spence is giving reader a massage on her back and one thing leads to another… with smut please? 💜💜

"Come on, you're stressed." Spencer reminds you like you don't already know. "Lay down."

You sigh deeply, agreeing and laying on the bed. "Thank you." You say appreciatively.

Spencer moves your hair off your back, leaning down to kiss your shoulder. "Just letting you know, my hands are magical, and you're going to be hooked."

You giggle at him, shaking your head. "I already know your hands are magical, or your fingers at least."

"Oh, true." He agrees. "That's why you're so obsessed with staring at them."

You can't refute that. You'd probably have a photo framed on the wall if he'd let you. He's not lying when he promised magic, each time he touches your skin, you melt further into the mattress. He's not just good at reading emotions, he's good at reading bodies, and every time he uses the perfect pressure on you, it's blissful.

"You were not kidding, Spence." You compliment him like your little moans and whimpers weren't enough.

He continues to work the knots out of your skin, and you feel much better. Once you're back is less tight, all you can think about is his perfect fingers. How they look and feel.

He knows what you're thinking about when the goosebumps break out, and if there's one thing he's going to do, it's tease.

His hands creep further down toward your ass, massaging the top of your butt. Like he knows when you're about to question his intentions, he switches his focus to back where his fingers wrap around to your side boob.

"This is not exactly professional, masseuse Reid." You tell him, ready to get down to business.

"What can I say? I want to give you as much pleasure as I can by any means necessary." He assures you.

You turn over, holding your towel to your chest, so you're not entirely naked. "How do you plan to do that?" You ask him.

Spencer grins, placing a knee between your thighs as he leans down to kiss around your ear. "Fuck the stress out of you." He answers. "Going to let me take care of you?"

"Yes, please." You agree, spreading your legs further and leaning up to kiss him. You've missed him during your stressful day at work. "Please, Spencer. I need you."

That always gets him going, and you grin as he rips the towel off you, starting his trail of kisses at your tits. His soft lips massage your sensitive skin, sending heat straight down.

Your fingers curl in his hair as your hips jerk toward him. "Spencer, please, I need more."

"Then I'll give you more, baby." He assures you, sitting back to lower his pants enough to take his cock out. "Just lay back and enjoy."

You gasp as he pushes into you lightly, his thick cock stretching you out. There's no feeling like it. Getting to look up at your beautiful boyfriend is also wonderful. He leaves down to kiss the frown between your eyebrows when he's fully inside you.

"It feels better already, Spence." You tell him, locking your ankles behind him.

"I agree." He says. "Want me to keep going?"

You nod eagerly. "I think I might die if you don't."

"I can't have that." He tells you, shallowly starting to move inside you.

He keeps that same pace, keeping you filled with pleasure. The rhythmic thrusts are relaxing, making all your stress slip away. He definitely knows what he's doing.

His hands move all over you, squeezing gently. "I love you." You mumble, pulling his face closer so you can kiss him as you get closer.

"I love you, too." He tells you. "Are you going to cum for me, sweet girl?"

You nod, tightening your legs around him as you spill over the edge, waves of pleasure taking over you. "Fuck, Spencer."

He stops in you, pumping his cum into you, the warm sensation filling you. "Mhm." He agrees with what you're feeling. "You okay?"

"Happy and content." You tell him. "And I'm going to sleep amazingly."

He kisses your forehead again. "Do that, baby."

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fandom #spencer reid blurb #criminal minds #spencer reid smut #criminal minds smut

[hannibals-favourite-meal]

Could I request a Dick x wife!reader? They’re newly married and just had a baby. They make it a competition to take care of the baby when it cries. So much so that Dick pulls his wife out of the way to run to the nursery. It’s all fun and games

The Baby Race

Dick Grayson x plus size reader

Dickie and Dove are always competing on who gets to take care of the baby.

Warnings: Fucking all the fluff, some references to sex, talks about boobs/breastfeeding

WC: 557

A/N: I loved this idea so so much and I fell in love with our little Alice so… here’s the start of the Grayson’s universe! Get ready for more stories involving our perfect little family!

Minors DNI

The cry came through the baby monitor’s speaker a mere ten minutes after silence had settled over the small apartment. There was a brief moment of quiet as you and your husband looked at each other, tensing in preparation for the argument about to ensue. 

Another wail shattered the tension and you both made a break for it. “Don’t you dare go near my baby, Grayson!” You scrambled on the hardwood floors, your socked feet not getting proper traction.

“Don’t you mean our baby, I did have a hand in making her!” Dick taunted, vaulting over the couch he was just laying on to make a mad dash towards the nursery. As delicately as he could, he pulled you to the side as he slid by, forcing you back down onto his recliner. You landed with a grunt, taking only a second to right yourself before you were back on your feet and chasing your new husband.

“I don’t think a five minute workout gives you the right to claim that you made her, especially since I was the one growing her for 9 months!” You darted forward, only just fast enough to grab the back of Dick’s shirt and yank him backwards, sending him flying past you.

He huffed in frustration before overtaking you once more. Damn his vigilante strength, you cursed to yourself. “It was six minutes and you know it!” He left into your daughter’s bedroom and slammed the door, the distinct sound of the lock clicking into place following. You had lost but, you were smiling, like an idiot in fact.

Dick was an incredible father, doting and kind, with a sense of humour that never failed to cheer you up, even in the middle of a difficult labour. With a bit of a struggle, you fished the key for the door off of the frame and quietly entered the nursery.

Alice was fully awake and staring at her father with an intensity that rivaled Tim and a cup of coffee. Her little hands were balled up into fists, her brows furrowed, her lips puckered as she grunted. You knew that face very well. “Unless you have a pair of boobs under that shirt, you better hand her over to me.” 

Your husband looked at you briefly, then turned away. “How do you know that I don’t?” You sighed and made your way over to them, wrapping your soft arms around his torso to rest your chin on his shoulder.

“I’ve seen you shirtless hundreds of times Dickie, I think I would know that.” You could feel the sadness radiating from him, disappointed that he couldn’t feed his daughter. With a small peck to his clean shaven cheek, you briefly cupped the back of Alice’s head. “I’ll go get a bottle ready for her but I’m feeding her next time.”

“Yeah sure.” He said absentmindedly, his gaze fixed upon the perfect little life in his arms. But you didn’t take any offense to his dismissal, knowing that you did the same thing. When you had her in your hold, it was impossible to look away from those big eyes that looked so much like yours. “Hey Dove?” You looked back at your husband. “Thank you.”

You shrugged and walked out. “I’ll beat you one of these days Grayson!”

“Don’t count on it Grayson!”

The Grayson's Masterlist | DC Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Join my taglist! (as a side note, if you want to be added to the taglist for this series but have already filled out the form, just shoot me a message or an ask and I'll add you so there's no need to fill it out again)

All works

@im-a-slut-for-fluff @alexxavicry @ravenwings73 @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @silverfire475 @psychadelichues @mvyalx @faefanatic @km-ffluv

DC

@snedhdh

Dick Grayson

@jason-todds-bitch @honkytonkbabe @nini-trash-forever @itsbqueenthings @batmaninamaiddress @getoutofthere @blasianbitch @theweepingvulcan91 @luvvvjada @im-a-satanic-ritual @m0nster-fvcker @onlystarshere

#the graysons #dick grayson x plus size reader #dick grayson x reader #dick grayson x you #dick x plus size reader #dick x reader #dick x you #nightwing x plus size reader #nightwing x reader #nightwing x you #dc #teen titans #young justice #fluff #request #anon #plus size reader #female reader #wife!reader

[wannaeatramyeon]

Is this how you do it- (Not a frequent tumblr user so) Anyways I'm in love with your writing and always look forward to reading new content from you everytime I open this app it's fabulous tbh. On a side note, I wanted to request the lookism guys with a s/o who loves to draw, is generally into art and just lives a normal life like going to college, travelling by the metro, staying up till 3 am to finish art school assignments or just homework you know. I'd love it if you include gun but its totally upto you. Lastly I say it again you're my favorite account on here so I'll always support you btw lmao😭😭😭

Thank you so much for sending in the ask and apologies again (and to all the current requests...) on how long it is taking! AHHHHHH you are so sweet!! THANK YOU FOR THE SUPPORT and for giving the idea for another soft Gun!

Gun Park x Reader: Masterpiece

Gun with art student!reader. You're creating your final assignment.

"What's this piece?"

"Wait and see."

Gun watches you move the oversized blank canvas, rearranging your paints and material. Preparing your little corner of his penthouse. Your studio, you call it. A spot he has cleared aside for you when you gasped at the lighting one afternoon.

Between your art assignments and Gun's job, any free time you have together is sparse - you both take what you can. A call here or there, sporadic messages, infrequent dates if both your schedule allows.

It only made sense for you to move in, to make it easier to steal time together.

Still, your final project looms on the horizon. You need to focus your time and energy on this for now.

Regrettably.

Because as Gun sits and watches you, tie hanging loose, top shirt buttons undone, hair casual and flopping over his eye, you think he looks good enough to eat.

Focus. You shake your head, redoubling your efforts to concentrate. Strike while the iron is hot; you're inspired right now and you don't want to fail an assignment due to an art block. Again.

Gun stays quiet as he observes you. Gracefully moving, pencil between deft fingers, sketching out your ideas.

There's a lot of things that Gun Park can do, but he knows he can't do this. His hands are better suited to create and mould other sort of masterpieces.

His eyes watch you as much as they do your hand. The crease between your brows as you work out the angle, nose wrinkling when it doesn't quite work out how you imagine. Tongue out in concentration, hair up in a bun and wispy tendrils caressing your neck.

He is in awe seeing the lines and shapes take form.

.

.

The buzz of Seoul softens at 3am when you finish a few weeks later.

You look proudly at your work. It may be your best one yet.

"Is that me?" Gun takes in the figure you have painted.

Suddenly shy and self-conscious, you nod. It's not the first one you've created of your boyfriend but it's the first one that he has seen more than a passing glimpse of.

Gun blinks at the canvas. Is that how you see him?

He studies the angle of the face, scar softened in shades of pink between eyes that should be demonic. Recognises himself in the pose, odd that it is comforting and protective rather than intimidating. The lighter shades of your paint strokes illuminates, frames him like a halo.

Gun looks at the painting and feels your love poured into it.

It's him all at once and not at all. At least not in the way anyone else could possibly see him.

"It's a masterpiece," he kisses you softly as you smile against his lips, "And you're mine."

#lookism #lookism x reader #lookism headcanons #lookism hc #lookism fic #lookism webtoon #lookism manhwa #gun park #gun park x reader #park jonggun x reader #park jonggun #wannaeatramyeon

[wherethefireliliesgrow]

Among the Wildflowers (Part 1)

Kang Haerin x Reader

GENRE: fluff, angst

TYPE: Two-part series (Part 2)

Haerin is older than her actual age in this story

The ceiling fan let out a creak as the shutters turned slowly, offering zero relief from the scorching summer heat. You wiped the sweat from your brow with your forearm, still adjusting to the city's humidity. Under your parents' insistence, you had recently moved to Seoul due to its reputation for having the most heart donors. They promptly secured you a spot in one of the city's esteemed hospitals.

That's why you found yourself at your aunt’s flower shop on a Wednesday morning, instead of being in your final year of college. The heart transplant waitlist was lengthy, leaving you with little to do but undergo treatment and wait. The presence of flowers and plants offered some solace from your worries.

You were so immersed in your work that you failed to notice the presence of someone entering through the open door. The stranger tried to catch your attention several times, but you were bent over the pots in front of you, carefully measuring the amount of fertilizer. 

A tap on your shoulder made you jump in surprise, accidentally knocking over a pot. Clutching your chest, you tried to calm the racing of your already weakened heart. Glancing up, you saw a girl, around your height, with long light brown hair and big feline eyes. She sported silver-framed glasses and a long white doctor's robe.

"I'm so sorry," she bit her lip, swiftly bending down to help pick up the broken pieces of the pot. "I can pay."

"No, no. It's fine, I'll take care of it later," you assured her. "How can I help you?"

The girl straightened up, adjusting her glasses. "I'd like to buy some flowers." Her gaze shifted to her scuffed white shoes, hands tucked shyly into her coat pockets.

"Sure, what kind of flowers are you looking for?" you inquired.

A cute frown creased her forehead as she thought for a moment. "What do your customers usually get?"

"It varies," you replied, "each flower holds its own special meaning."

"Ah." Her gaze remained on her shoes.

She was the shyest person you ever met, and you could tell this conversation was not going to go anywhere without a little push.

“What occasion are the flowers for?” You pressed, hoping that this mystery girl can give you some insight on what she wanted, or you think both of you would die from awkwardness. 

“I want to buy flowers for some kids.” 

“For their birthday?” 

“No.” 

“Graduation?” 

“No.” 

You sighed, exasperated. This was going nowhere. 

“You have to give me some context in order for me to figure out what flowers you need.”

Finally, after what felt like hours, the girl gathered her thoughts and stammered out, “Th-they’re my patients. I want flowers to make them feel better.”

Despite her communication struggles, you couldn't help but feel a fondness for her. Not every day did you encounter a doctor so genuinely caring for their patients. You had your fair share of doctors, and they were never like this. 

“I think sunflowers would work.” You said, passing her a fresh sunflower, “They symbolize happiness and strength. And also they are very cute to look at.” 

As she held the sunflower, her eyes lit up with a radiant glow. Even without a smile, she possessed a certain prettiness, but when her eyes squinted and her mouth transformed into a toothy grin, her beauty was elevated to a new level.

"I think the kids would love this," she said, her eyes meeting yours, brimming with excitement.

Her newfound happiness was infectious, lifting your spirits as well. With another shy smile, she left the shop, clutching a bouquet of sunflowers. You watched her through the window, a skip in her step as she headed toward the hospital.

.

.

.

.

From that first encounter, you saw her every Wednesday like clockwork. The familiar cat-like eyes would shyly enter the shop, and your warm greeting would turn her into a stuttering mess. It took her a moment to explain the purpose of each bouquet – sometimes for new parents, for sick children, or for recovering patients leaving the hospital. After each visit, she would leave with a variety of flowers, from Blossoms to Lilies, accompanied by her endearing shy smile.

On her fourth visit, you learned her name – Haerin. She was a medical resident at a nearby hospital, the same one where you received your treatments. She was working towards becoming a surgeon. With each visit, the shifts became more apparent – a glimmer of excitement dancing in her eyes whenever she talked about her work. Gone was the evasiveness; instead, her gaze now lingered upon yours, a testament to her newfound openness. Her feline-like eyes held yours longer, as if whispering secrets between blinks, mirroring the candid exchange of thoughts that flowed seamlessly between you both. She was opening up to you, as you were with her. 

You didn't realize how much you enjoyed her presence and how much you looked forward to her visits until she didn't come on the tenth week.

9 o'clock, 10 o'clock, 11 o'clock... You continued to glance at the clock behind the counter, waiting for Haerin's arrival. You were worried; Haerin was never late. You wanted to call her to make sure everything was okay, but then it hit you that you were never that close to her. You didn't even have her phone number, you didn't know her last name. She was just a customer, and you were just the florist who would listen to her thoughts as she bought flowers for the people she cared for. You had begun to think of her as your friend. Trying not to be disappointed, you started to clear the shop, getting ready to head home for the day.

"Shit, shit, shit," Haerin muttered as she hurried down the block, doing her best to navigate through the streets without spilling the two cups of coffee in her hands. 

She had always been a consistent person and hated any changes in her schedule. Today was Wednesday, and Wednesdays were special. Wednesdays were what she eagerly looked forward to every week– a chance to spend a few minutes chatting with you. However, a late-night surgery had thrown off her schedule. She had fallen asleep on her couch after returning home, only waking up at four in the afternoon. Despite the setback, seeing you was non-negotiable for her.

Her heart sank when she arrived at your shop's front doors, finding them already locked with a "Closed" sign displayed. Frustrated with herself for forgetting to set an alarm, she kicked the ground in disappointment. As she started to turn away, she caught the sound of shuffling from behind the shop. Quietly following the path leading to the garden and greenhouse, she discovered you tending to the garden bed.

Seeing you filled her heart with an inexplicable feeling, as if her emotions were in a jumbled mess. She pretended it was because you were a great listener, but deep now, she knew it was something more.

"Y/N," she called out, startling you just as she had the first time you met.

You jumped, clutching your chest in response to the sudden sound. Lately, your heart had been acting up, and the surprise didn't help matters.

Turning around, you met Haerin's gaze, your heart fluttering despite the momentary pain.The light of the setting sun reflected on her face, scattering a golden glow that highlighted her almond-shaped eyes and made her gentle expression even more inviting.

"Hey, Haerin," you quickly composed yourself, brushing dirt off your pants as you approached her.

Although still embraced by the gloden hues of dusk, you could see how tired Haerin was, her dark circles contrasting against her windblown hair. “Are you okay?”

"Y-yeah," she stammered under your scrutinizing look. "I'm sorry I couldn't make it today."

"It's okay. I understand you must have been busy," you reassured her. "There are more important things than buying flowers."

"No, no!" Haerin hurriedly explained, stumbling over her words. "I was part of a surgery that lasted eleven hours. I got home late and overslept. I didn't wake up until now, and I realized I had no way to reach you since I don't have your number, and..."

"It's alright, Rinnie," you chuckled, taking one of the coffee cups from her and sipping. "Mmm, that's good. Thanks."

Rinnie. You gave her a nickname. Haerin squealed internally at the thought of getting her first nickname ever, and it was by you. 

“Do you have to go back to work?” 

She shook her head, relief washing over her. "No, I have the day off."

"Want to help me water the flowers?"

Haerin had never been particularly attentive to plants since her childhood. Somehow, every plant that ended up under her care seemed doomed, meeting an untimely demise due to her neglect. She often ended up giving them away before she could forget to water them and seal their fate. However, being around you was a different story.

"Come, let me show you the greenhouse," you invited, leading her toward a massive three-story glass structure that stood behind the shop.

Your aunt had dedicated half her life to constructing this impressive greenhouse. Rising three stories high, it boasted intricate glass designs that permitted the sun's rays to illuminate every corner. The structure also featured a variety of shutters, each designed to cater to the specific life cycles of the flowers it housed. Your aunt was meticulous in her approach, taking personal charge of planting the majority of the flowers. Only occasionally did she import more delicate varieties that required special care.

Entering the greenhouse, Haerin was awestruck. She was amazed that such a place could exist in the busy streets of Seoul, hidden behind skyscrapers and neon lights.  The sweet scent of flowers enveloped her, reminiscent of the fragrance she associated with you.

At the back, there was a small decorative pond. As a child, you used to spend hours watching the frogs and fish glide through the water, mesmerized by their graceful movements. Surprisingly, the young doctor shared your excitement. She stared at the frogs intently, even taking photos of them with her phone. You let her enjoy the sight while you finished taking care of the plants, occasionally checking in on her with a smile.

"You know, the longest-lived frog reached 40 years," she suddenly shared after observing the frogs for a while.

You laughed at her unexpected fact as you continued to tend the rose bushes. "Really? That's over a hundred in frog years, right?"

“Yeah, like 180 in human years.”

"I can't imagine myself living that long," you mused.

"Why?" Haerin furrowed her brows and tilted her head, looking like an adorable confused kitten. "Most people I see in the hospital wish to live forever."

"When you're that old, all the people you love have left the world already. I think it would be quite lonely," you scratched your chin, thinking. "And besides, I don't need to live forever. I just want to be remembered by somebody, and that's enough."

Haerin's gaze met yours, and in that moment, she vowed to remember you forever. She hoped you would remember her too. Or perhaps, she'd make sure you wouldn't forget her. She decided the first step was to charm you with frog trivia.

“Some frogs weigh more than 3 kilograms.” 

"Okay, that's pretty scary. Thank God I don't have those here," you laughed again, standing up from the bushes and grabbing your tools.

"Let's go, Dr. Doolittle," you teased, gently bumping her shoulder with yours.

"I just really like frogs," Haerin turned a bright pink at your teasing and reached over to carry the tools for you.

And I really like you, she thought.

.

.

.

.

After that day, Haerin would talk to you every day. You would stay up texting her, keeping her company during her night shifts, or she would drop by for a quick lunch with you when she had the time. She continued to buy flowers from you every Wednesday, paying full attention to you as you entertained her with a new species of flower every time, going through all the facts and symbolization. Haerin was enamored by you, and you felt the same about her. Her quirky jokes and random animal knowledge were endearing, and you found yourself constantly thinking about her and missing her when she wasn't there.

You were falling, and you were falling fast.

As weeks slipped by like a fleeting dream, the summer's swelter surrendered to brisk mornings and gusty afternoons. Time marched on, relentless, yet the same could not be said for the sluggish progress of the heart donor list.

The wait remained as long as ever, and the pains in your chest had become more frequent. Sometimes you would wake up in the middle of the night, feeling as though your heart might leap out of your chest or stop at any moment.

After procrastinating for far too long, you finally found yourself in the office of one of the nation's most esteemed cardiologists. Yet, within the depths of your awareness lay the unwavering truth – no cardiologist could save you, only a new heart could.  

"Have you been taking your medicine?" Doctor Kang asked sternly, pushing back his glasses on the bridge of his nose.

"I forget sometimes," you muttered, guiltily.

"Y/N, you have to take the medicine four times a day," he said. "It helps with the chest pains."

"Yeah, but it won't help with the heart failure."

Doctor Kang sighed, scratching his greying beard. He was worried; your test results weren't good. But he was an insistent man, and he would do everything he could to keep you alive and healthy until you could get a new heart.

"Don't give up yet, Y/N," he gave you a soft smile that made his almond-shaped eyes crinkle around the edges, reminding you of the girl you adored. "Please take your medicine and come back the same time next month."

"Thanks, doc," you nodded, getting up from the chair. "I like the flowers."

Doctor Kang's gaze drifted fondly to the pink daisies adorning his table. You knew without a doubt that Haerin had delivered them – a bouquet of pink daisies, just like the ones she purchased from your shop the day before. You had spotted a similar arrangement at the front desk as well.

"I like them too," he grinned, his face lighting up. "They're from my daughter."

You walked back home in a daze. Doctor Kang was Haerin's father. You slapped your forehead, berating yourself for not realizing it sooner. Her last name was Kang, and she had mentioned that she came from a family of doctors. How had you missed such an obvious connection? As you replayed your conversations with Haerin in your mind, you couldn't help but feel a mixture of emotions. You hoped that Doctor Kang wouldn't mention you in front of Haerin. You were afraid of how she would react if she knew about your health condition. The thought of her worrying about you weighed heavily on your mind as you continued walking, lost in your thoughts.

Abruptly turning a corner, you collided headfirst with another person. "Sorry, I didn't see—" you began apologetically.

"Y/N? Hey," a familiar voice chimed in. Haerin's face lit up with joy as she greeted you, her eyes shimmering with excitement.

"Y/N?" Another voice, this one also donning a white doctor's coat, inquired. She shifted her gaze between you and Haerin. Jealousy pricked at you as you noticed the way the girl's arms were linked with Haerin's. "The famous Y/N?"

Sensing your gaze, Haerin pulled her arms away from the other girls, and sheepishly smoothed her hair. “Cut it out.” she muttered, slightly pushing the girl. 

"Hello, Y/N. I'm Hanni," the girl introduced herself with infectious enthusiasm, standing on her tiptoes to pull you into a hug. "I've been dying to meet you.  Oh My God. This one here has been talking about you nonstop.”

Raising an eyebrow, you shot Haerin a playful look, prompting her to blush even deeper.

"Stop it, Hanni," she said, pulling the exuberant girl away from you. "You're smoldering her."

As it turned out, Hanni was not only Haerin's childhood best friend but also her fellow doctor-in-training. Despite their shared background, they were complete opposites in terms of demeanor – Hanni was boisterous and lively, whereas Haerin remained shy and reserved. However, their shared kindness and compassion were what had drawn you to the cat-like girl.

After what seemed like a drawn-out exchange for Haerin, Hanni finally departed for her shift, but not before playfully whispering to Haerin, "You better confess before I do."

The taunt turned Haerin into a flustered mess.

Haerin walked you back home, her white coat gently draped over your shoulders to keep you warm. The two of you walked toward the shop, side-by-side, in comfortable silence. Although every fiber of her being longed to reach down and intertwine her fingers with yours, Haerin couldn't muster  the courage to make that gesture. Instead, her fingers twitched nervously by her side, a silent indication of the unspoken feelings that lingered between you.

"I'm sorry about Hanni," Haerin began, her voice laced with apology. "She can be a bit overwhelming at times."

“I like her.” You assured. “She’s funny.”

A vulnerable smile crossed Haerin’s lips.

“And I like you.” she blurted out. It was now or never. She had spent so many sleepless nights thinking about how to convey her feelings, but nothing seemed to be the perfect solution. So here she was, on a crisp autumn night, revealing her emotions without any scripted lines.

You halted your steps, turning to gaze at the blushing girl before you. Her feline eyes radiated adoration and hope. 

"I like you, too," you chuckled, playfully teasing. "But you'll have to try harder than that."

Haerin's relief transformed into a radiant grin. She tenderly reached down and enveloped your hands in her own.

Lifting them to her lips, she whispered, "Don’t worry. I’ll plant you a sea of blossoms if I have to, just to have you remember me.”

We all need a bit of sweetness to balance out the pain.

More angst to come 👀

Part 2

#haerin #haerin x reader #newjeans x reader #kang haerin #kang haerin x reader #kpop fanfic #gxg #kpop imagines #wlw #kpop fic #newjeans #newjeans imagines #haerin imagines #fluff #angst fic #kpop #hanni pham #wherethefireliliesgrow

[tawaifeddiediaz]

Hi!

I was just wondering if you have a tutorial on how you created this effect in your gifset, it's something I'd like to try but have no idea where to start. Your set is so pretty! Any helps appreciated x

https://www.tumblr.com/tawaifeddiediaz/712911415428743168/ill-take-you-with-me-then-well-both-die-you?source=share

Hey Nonnie, thank you! This is super late, but I don't actually have the psd for this set anymore (I delete them as soon as I post them), so we're just gonna wing it with a gif I made the other day. I think this ask is about the text, but if it's anything else, just drop me another line and I'll get to it when I can!

I'm pretty sure I got this tutorial from the wonderful @eddiediaaz but I then turned it into Lazy Girl Hours :)) anywho, here we go!

We’ll be making this gif:

This tutorial assumes basic knowledge of gif-making, Photoshop, and coloring. I’ve only described the typography tutorial in this, but you can reach out if you have any questions.

Tutorial under the cut:

Couple things to note beforehand:

There is a lot of trial and error involved when doing any sort of effect, and this is no exception! You might have to play around with the colors and the settings before you find something that looks good and readable and that fits your set!

This text effect works better on big gifs (540px width).

For this, I find that a simple font works better than a fully-cursive one, but play around with what you like. The boxes may need some adjusting if you use a font with too many tall or tail letters (i.e. text where all the letters aren't on one uniform line - that's why capital letters work so well.)

Movement works really well with effects like these, but again, it depends on your gif + readability. If you have a blended gif, it may take a little more trial and error.

I work in frame animation for all my text effects, but this works just as well in timeline as well.

We’re going to start with this gif:

First, I like to put my text on the gif. You can obviously move this around later so don't worry too much about how it looks right now.

The dialogue is "Just don't feel it." "Feel" is one of those Big Words for this quote, so I'm going to emphasize it with cursive text.

I am using Moon for the sans serif text, and Santa Fe Spring for the cursive text. Keep both of these in white for now:

Next, we're going to use the rectangular marquee tool to draw our rectangles around the capital letters (we're not touching the cursive text right now). I just eyeball this, and then try to center it as much as possible.

(The rectangular marquee tool has a keyboard shortcut of M, and it's the second tool in that little toolbar on the left of most people's Photoshop.)

This is what that'll look like:

Next, we're going to go down to the icons at the bottom right of the layers panel and select the half-black half-white circle > Color Fill.... You should get a color dialogue box. Choose your color - I'm using #8d0000. Then, we're going to move that layer below the corresponding text layer, and set its blending mode to Difference. This is what that looks like (click the image for better quality):

I'm going to repeat that with the other two boxes as well, using the same color. The boxes will look different with the Difference blending mode because of the shadows underneath.

For example, the box with "it" looks like a solid red square because it's against a completely black background, while the other two have some blue shading to them since there are some highlights behind them.

This is what my gif looks like now:

Next, I like to go The Lazy Girl™ route and put all three color-fill layers into one group underneath all the text layers. This just lets me edit the drop shadow of all three of them at the same time.

Right-click the group and open up the Blending Options. In Drop Shadow, these are the settings I'm using. The drop shadow color is #0c6477:

(Note: uncheck "Use Global Light" especially if you're working in frame animation to make sure all the drop shadow has the same angle on all frames.)

This is what my gif looks like now:

Now that we've finished that, time to move on to the cursive text.

I usually match the cursive text to the palette of the rest of the text, and since the drop shadow is our "accent" color, so to speak, I'm going to use a lighter version of that color. I am also going to add a drop shadow for readability.

The color I used for the text is #acfffe and I actually ended up adding two drop shadows, just because I needed something subtle that doesn't overwhelm the text, especially since it's a delicate font. Here are the settings for both layers:

And here's what my gif looks like now:

Now, before we move on to the lines, just check the adjustment of all these text layers, see if there's anything you want to change. It's easier to change now than after the lines are added, since you'll most likely have to redraw them if you move the boxes after the fact.

To draw the lines, we're going to use the Line Tool. I just freehand all of this, and I try to go from center to center of the boxes when I can. It all depends on your angles.

My lines are 2px thick, but you can change these depending on your preference. Here's what mine look like right now:

We're going to do the same lazy hack that we did for the color fill, and put all three line layers into a group. Move this group below the text layer and the color fill layers. The reason for this is so that the lines look like they're coming seamlessly from the box, rather than from on top of them or something.

Then, set the group to opacity 50%. I like more subtle, simple looks in my gifs, so I don't like super high opacities.

And that's it! This is our final gif:

Some final notes:

Absolutely play around with the blending modes of the color fill layers for this effect. These two gifs are the exact same color we've been using, just two different blending modes. You can see how drastically different they look. The first one is Linear Dodge (Add) and the second one is Vivid Light:

It can change how your gif looks in a BIG way, so play around with it, see what you like, especially if you don't really like the "two toned" thing going on.

Sometimes, I also like playing with the width and height of the text in the font settings, making it shorter and wider, or making it taller and more compact. You can play with the letter spacing as well. The world is your oyster, etc etc.

One other thing I've started doing is erasing the lines with a big brush, just to fade them from his face a little, like this:

To do that, use a layer mask on the line layer folder, and a brush that's 0% hardness, and at least 200px big. For this gif, I also changed the opacity of the lines back to 100% so the fading effect is a little more pronounced:

(this gif isn't the best example for this, but oh well. Anywho, hope this helps, Nonnie! Let me know if you have any questions.

Enjoy!

#zee's tutorials #tutorials #gif tutorial #photoshop tutorial #resources #dailyresources #completeresources #itsphotoshop #allresources #dailypsd #userisha #userdahlias #alielook #userabs #tuserheidi #userelio #userjaelyn #userisaiah #usermorgan #usergert #zee answers #im so pissed at myself for losing the tutorial the first time like you do not know how mad i am right now #i didn't even do anything tumblr just hates us all

[estoricwaterlane]

Heart to Heart

characters: Bruce Wayne

fandom: DC

pairing: Bruce Wayne x Fem!reader

tags: angst,jealously,breakups,fluff

a/n: this is my first time writing a fic on Tumblr so I have no idea how to format sorry if this is an eyesore 😭. also wanna low-key make this one shot a series lollll

Confused is what you were, your ex banging on your window and shouting at you to open up was not how you thought your Friday night was going to be.

You and Bruce had been in a relationship for over a year, and had been going strong, until the last month. Your work schedules had conflicted and you both seemed to argue a lot more, and so you both decided to have a break from one another, hoping to get your thoughts together and come back to each other in a better place.

"What do you want, Bruce? It's late and I have to be up early." You said, opening the window, crossing your arms over your chest as you glared at the dark figure who had climbed onto your small fire escape, "and shouldn't you be working?"

"I was." He said, moving closer to you.

You threw a pillow at him, and he caught it, placing it on the couch behind him, "Then why aren't you now?"

"You." He said, and you scoffed, "I'm not going to ask again."

"It's not like you'll answer, you never do." You replied, looking at the wall above his head.

"Were having a charity banquet, next week, I need a date."

You raised a brow, "You have plenty of women willing to go with you."

"You are my girlfriend."

"Am I?" You questioned, "Cause last time we spoke, we were taking a break."

You stepped up closer to him, he could feel your body heat coming off you, your face inches away from his.

He looked away.

"Look at me when I'm talking to you." You ordered softly, and he slowly turned his head towards you, looking into your eyes.

"I don't want a break anymore, I want you." He told you.

"And you think a few words and you'll have me back?" You laughed, stepping away from him, "No chance, you made your decision. And I made mine."

Bruce grabbed your arm and pulled you against him, kissing you deeply. You didn't kiss back, but didn't pull away.

"Come back to me." He whispered, and you shook your head, "I want you."

"You want arm candy." You said, pushing him away, "You want a pretty face, to sit beside you, smiling as you show off."

He kneeled and hugged your thighs, burying his face into your stomach.

"I want you to be with me, I'm sorry, I'm an idiot, I don't want a break, or a pause. I want you, all of you, I know I fucked up."

Your breath hitched, and your hands rested on his shoulders, "Okay."

He looked up at you, "Okay?"

"Okay."

"You'll come back to me?"

"I'll come to the banquet, and see how things go from there."

Bruce stood up, towering over you, and nodded, "Good, good. I'll, um, see you then."

He kissed your cheek and walked out, the fire escape creaking under his weight.

You leaned against the window frame, letting out a deep breath.

You weren't sure about this.

#bruce wayne x reader #batman x reader #dc fanfic

[call-memissbrightside]

Savior

Part One | Taglist: @shortstoriesbyher , @distinguishedlight, @eijiandkatspebble, @atsushiki 

TW: Mentions of suicide attempt, depression, guilt, NSFW themes, please don't read if these topics are triggering for you.

“Pro-hero Dynamight has donated over a quarter million dollars towards mental health services in the city, with other heroes like Deku and Shoto matching those donations in a new campaign to shed light on how important —”

The news station droned in the background of Bakugou's office, neither Bakugou or Midoriya paying it any mind.

“How are you today?” Izuku Midoriya was worried.

He made it a point to check in with his friend multiple times a day after Katsuki crashed at his place when (Y/N) was admitted to the hospital and the doctor's kicked him out. Midoriya had never seen Bakugou so disheveled before, he stayed up all night and just let Katsuki cry out his fears. It'd been four weeks since (Y/N)'s suicide attempt, and Katsuki returned to work but not without causing some concern for Izuku.

"Fine." One worded answers were all Izuku was going to receive, but he continued to push. "Have you heard any new updates about (Y/N)?"

Dating for five years and living with one another for two of those years meant nothing to the hospital, Bakugou wasn't (Y/N)'s legal spouse and wouldn't release any details on her recovery. Her family would check in every once in a while, telling him only what he needed to know: she was healing and now in a treatment facility. Yet, Katsuki knew what they were thinking. How could he let her do this? Why didn't he call them when things got bad? What did he say to (Y/N) that drove her to the edge?

Regret was a constant with the hero, and he felt it weigh him down when he had a moment to himself. Irritation could be read on his face but Katsuki knew that Izuku was just trying to check in. The fucking nerd wouldn't have hurt (Y/N), he thinks. After the incident, Izuku forced Katsuki go to therapy, and the shrink talked about how he also was a victim and that guilt would be something he'd experience as he got through this.

"No." Bakugou's eyes glimpsed at the framed photo he had of (Y/N) on his desk, heart cracking more.

Clearing his throat, Katsuki tried not to cry but the tears were hot and blinding. Moving quickly, Izuku hugged his friend as Katsuki clunged to him tightly. Midoriya rubbed his back, biting back his own emotions.

"I'm sorry," Katsuki whispers, his red eyes seeking forgiveness in your photographed smile.

_

"You need to break up with him."

Your parents didn't like Bakugou before, but after your accident, they really didn't like him.

"I don't want to think about that right now." You couldn't look at your bandaged wrists, so instead you looked out the window to the courtyard of the hospital. The hospital was nice, the nurses and doctors were patient and understanding. You felt like you were in a white bubble of calmness, but your body and mind felt such a heavy fatigue after waking up in the hospital. It was the antidepressants they put you on, the doctors explained that it'd replace the bad thoughts with better ones. Yet, all you felt was exhaustion.

"But honey, he did this." Your mother couldn't say the word suicide out loud, she couldn't accept that you hurt yourself. So, instead Bakugou was the scapegoat, the reason as to why you were in the hospital.

You shook your head. "No, mom I did this. I put myself here and I'm sorry."

Your father tried to reason with you. "You can come home with us."

Again, you declined. "No, I think I'll stay here for a bit."

"In the hospital?" Your parents were worried, everyone was worried. Leaving meant facing what you did and dealing with the consequences and that made you anxious.

"No, I want to look at the birds for a bit longer," You mumble, eyeing a pair of doves playing in a birdbath.

You crack a smile. "They're a good omen, did you know that?" You ask no one in particular.

_

After a month in the hospital, Bakugou picked you up to take you home. Your parents weren't happy about the decision, but an agreement that Bakugou and you would go to couples therapy eased their concern.

You noticed immediately that he was dressed up, in a button down and nice jeans with a bouquet of flowers in his shaky hands.

"Thank you." Taking the flowers, you think it's sweet that he got you your favorite ones.

"Let me get your bag." Katsuki opened the door for you, something he normally didn't do.

You gave him a teasing smile. "What's gotten into you?"

Bakugou didn't take the joke, instead he looked hurt almost. "I missed you, missed doing things for you."

You were taken back by his vulnerability, your mood dropping because not even ten minutes out and already you were fucking everything up. "Oh, I'm sorry."

Helping you in the car, Katsuki cupped your face in his palms, giving you a gentle kiss on your lips.

"I want to show you that I deserve you," He whispered.

You were at a loss for words. The car ride was quiet, both souls feeling an unspoken sense of awkwardness.

You did this, you slouch in your seat at the thought.

Too soon, Bakugou parks in front of the house that you called home with him.

"Katsuki." Your voice cracks, and you clear your throat. He waits for you to continue, eyes staring at the front door while you take in how rigid his posture is. The flowers you were still carrying makes your nose tickle at how sickly sweet they smell.

"You don't need to be here, I don't want you to feel like you have to stay," You whisper lowly but the way his grip on the steering wheel tightens gives you reason that he heard you.

"I'm giving you an out," You continue. "I'll understand if my issues are too much for you to handle and you want to cut ties."

The idea of losing him makes tears gather, but you push on because since waking up in the hospital you've felt that now, he was truly being suffocated by you.

You jump from shock and slight pain, Bakugou's hand leaving just as quickly as he flicked your forehead.

"What are you going on about woman? I love you, and we'll get through this together." He's smiling, and you didn't realize how much you missed that until then.

You mirror his expression, and the little voice in your head whispers one last dark thought- I hope this is enough.

_

Things went back to a mockery of 'normal' for the two of you.

You were off work for another week, and were healing up your wounds even though you still refused to look at the stitches, and instead chose to wear long sleeve shirts. Bakugou took a few days off after your release, wanting to help you settle back in and take care of you.

You weren't used to all the attention.

Before, Bakugou and you coexist alongside one another, each doing their own thing and having moments through dinner or a TV show to check in with one another. Now, Katsuki was hesitant to leave you alone for too long, and would ask you constantly how you felt. You let him take you to the grocery store even if you were tired, or chatted with his friends in a public outing he forced you to attend with him, ignoring all the questioning looks as to why you were so quiet now.

Because you felt that you owed him.

One of the hardest truths to swallow after doing what you did was that you scared him. You let yourself drown, and left Bakugou to pick up the pieces. You didn't really want to die, you realized. It wasn't his fault, even if his words struck a cord and made the bad thoughts worse. You were the one to hurt yourself, and that was hard for you to wrap your head around. Not only that, but you hurt your best friend and you felt guilty.

"I don't want him to feel that he has to handle me like I'm on the verge of hurting myself again," You recount in couples therapy.

The therapist jots down your concern, before turning to hear Katsuki's response. He sits besides you on the couch, his knee brushing against your leg before he pulled away, sitting up and clearing his throat.

"I-I wasn't meaning to do that," Bakugou stuttered. You squeezed his hand reassuringly, letting the your joined hands rest in his lap.

Bakugou tries again. "I just know that I fucked up before, about not hearing her opinions and I want to make sure she knows that I'm here for her."

The therapist looks up from her notes, eyebrow arched. "What makes you think (Y/N) doesn't know that?"

You catch him glancing at your sleeve, hiding your bandage. Anger or maybe shame makes you blush and you want to pull away from him if only you knew it wouldn't hurt his feelings.

"So you think being mister nice guy will make me never want to kill myself again?" The bite in your voice makes him clench his jaw.

"Well isn't that why you did it in the first place, because of what I told you?" Bakugou challenged back.

The therapist calms down the situation, pulling you and Bakugou back.

"Bakugou, we expressed our apologizes for what occurred the night of (Y/N)'s attempt a few weeks ago. Why do you think you can't let that conversation go?"

"Because I hurt her. I blew up and I made her cry." Emotions made him choke, but he continued on. "I let my frusterations and anger get the best of me, and I didn't try to fix it before it was too late." The therapist nodded, "What do you mean by fixing it?"

Bakugou shrugged. You couldn't look away from him, shocked by the rawness of his feelings displayed before you. Of all the years dating, Katsuki was never the type to just word vomit like this.

"I didn't say sorry." Bakugou's hand was getting sweaty, you could feel the sweat forming against the skin of your palm.

"I have trouble admitting that, even if I am. I should've apologized," He sniffles, his free hand wiping harshly at his eyes to prevent him from crying.

"But Katsuki," The therapist gave him a reasurring smile. "You did apologize, remember? (Y/N) and you discussed what happened and the both of you said your apologizes for doing what you did to one another."

He shook his head, bottom lip quivering. "No doc, you don't understand. I-I almost lost her."

You rub his arm for comfort, squeezing his hand as Bakugou openly cried.

"I felt so bad about what I said to you (Y/N), and I was too much of a coward to be there for you when you needed me." Katsuki couldn't look at you as he confessed his deepest fear.

"I found you, bleeding on that floor and all I could do was beg for you to forgive me because I thought you were going to die and you'd leave me thinking those horrible things I said to you!" His chest heaves as he sobs, head down in shame.

"I didn't mean any of that, I love you (Y/N)." You begin to cry, throat tightening.

"Katsuki, I know that." You carefully wipe away his tears from his face, the young man leaning into your touch.

"What I did was horrible, and I did internalized a lot of what you told me," You try to explain, Bakugou grimacing at your words.

You pushed on. "I'm so sorry I put you through that, you didn't deserve that. You were there for me, you tried to get me help but I didn't want it."

Your mind goes back to that dark place, remembering how you felt and you desperately try to explain what that was like.

"You were there for me the best you could have been, but I realize now that it wasn't healthy just to rely on you." You trace his knuckles, noticing the new scars and cuts on them.

"You're a hero," You whisper, sniffling. "You save people for a living, you save the day and keep everyone safe. I never asked you how you felt, what you were going through. I put so much on you, and that's not fair."

The therapist interjects. "This is good, how open you are now with one another. My question is, how can you both move past this?"

Bakugou lets go of your hand to wrap an arm around your shoulders, pulling you against his body. Kissing your temple, Bakugou closed his eyes and basked in your warmth. You're here, you're alive and well and with him, he reassured himself.

"We just keep swimming," You joke.

The tension in his body breaks, Katsuki's deep laugh making you believe that you were getting better.

_

The weeks blur, and the relationship between Katsuki and you was slowly healing. He's more quiet, more touchy. Yet, it was you that needed to be the one to push things to become more physical.

You were on top, Katsuki carefully peeling off your shirt over your head to relieve you of your clothing as he was already naked.

Your bandages crinkle, and you feel shy all of the sudden. It'd take months until your self-inflicted wounds were fully healed and no longer needed to be covered.

"Hey." Bakugou's voice snaps you out of your head, and you take in how breathless he looks.

"You're beautiful, you know that?" He pushes a strand of hair behind your face, fingers lingering to trace to your jaw so carefully it tickles.

"I know," You answer, your hands trailing down his wide chest. Years of scars have gathered on his skin, and a question pops in your head.

"How do you see your scars?"

Bakugou holds onto your hips, slightly grinding against you. Clenching his jaw, he stays focused on the conversation.

"They're proof that I won against my enemies," He said.

You trace a particularly large scar that trails from his right shoulder to the middle of his chest.

"The doctor said my wounds will leave scars, ya'know," You mumble, your stomach feeling sick at the idea.

Carefully gathering your wrists in his hands, Bakugou looks up at you as he gently kisses them.

"You don't need to be ashamed (Y/N)," He reassures you. "These scars can be a reminder that you survived, that you won against your own enemies."

Emotions run high, soft moans and sloppy kisses overwhelm you as Bakugou makes love to you. Usually, sex with the hero was rough and fast, but now his hands trace down your body and mumbles how beautiful you were as you made him unravel.

You collapsed next to Katsuki after coming, breathing heavily as he pulled you to lay on his chest. Kissing the skin there, you nuzzled into his warmth. He continued leaving soft pecks on your forehead, sighing loudly. You were cocooned in a state of happiness so sweet you could cry, body tired from an intense orgasm and not because of depression for once. You wanted to stay in bed, naked with Katsuki forever. To bask in the small victories of choosing to live, of surviving.

"Let's get married."

You sit up, looking at his face to see if he was joking. Katsuki looked carefree, the skin of his cheeks and chest red. Your stomach dropped when you realized he was completely serious.

"Katsuki-," He cuts you off.

"Let's get married (Y/N)," Katsuki says is so sweetly, a soft smile on his swollen lips.

"We're still going through therapy, and we've never talked about marriage before," You try to reason.

Katsuki shook off your excuses, giddy all of the sudden.

"Who fucking cares, I want you to be my wife. Isn't that what you want?" He arches an eyebrow, daring you to say otherwise.

The wave of anxiety makes your heart flutter, and the tips of your fingers feel numb.

"Things are just getting back to normal, why do you want to push it?" You ask, the idea of making a huge life changing decision absolutely terrifying.

"This," He points to your wrists, "just proves that we can handle anything together. Why not just make it official?"

Bakugou was too blinded by his excitement that he didn't notice how your expression morphed into one of anguish.

"I didn't try to fucking die to get a proposal out of you." You said through gritted teeth.

Just like that, the bubble popped and reality set in.

Part three

#bakugou x reader #mha bakugou #bakugou katsuki #bakugou katuski x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #katsuki bakugo x y/n #katsuki x reader #bnha bakugo katsuki #bakugou x you #bakugou angst

[catboybiologist]

Slightly late monthly journal!

First off, the spreadsheet has been updated:

Nothing too drastic here, especially compared to my initial growth spurt. But still… there’s so much, yet so little to talk about.

I’ve been on spiro for a longer time now, and recently increased my estradiol dose. Note that my levels check was before the increased dose- the dates aren’t completely coordinated (they are on my private spreadsheet for my own personal tracking, don’t worry). It’s looking pretty good. Testosterone is well within target levels. E is about the same, which is much lower than I would like it. My endo says that 100-200 is “minimally acceptable”, and wants to shoot even higher than that. That’s comforting, in a way- I’m the slightest bit frustrated that some changes aren’t happening too quickly, but that gives a very distinct avenue for improvement. Ultimately, I’m gonna switch to injection monotherapy, probably around the same time I start prog. So the big change is decreased T. What has that done to me?

First off, the hard measurements. There’s really no surprises here. I’m losing weight, which tracks with my general diet and an increase in exercise levels. It seems to be happening faster than normal, though. Which, is pretty easily explainable by a new variable in the equation: adderall. I started adderall in the middle of the month. I’ve used it sparingly, but everyone I know that takes it told me that weight loss is pretty much unavoidable. I’m certainly still above any point where my weight would be worrying, but I’m gonna have to keep an eye on it. Especially if I want fat tits. As for how the weight loss is happening, I’m very happy with what’s going on. My bust and hip measurements are holding steady, while my waist and underbust are still slightly going down. 

I do know that there’s another source of weight loss, however: muscle mass. With the increase in exercise level has come an increase in exertion for the same results, which has made me slightly dismayed. This is the main HRT effect that I was a little scared of. But honestly, I really only care about the muscle that helps me hike and swim- and if I maintain that better, I think it won’t be too much of an issue. I was never some pariah of physical condition, so I think with training I can even improve my hiking stamina. That’ll be very necessary with my future backpacking plans.

The main thing that I’m REALLY happy about is that, if I squint, I think I can slowly start to see the first hints of facial changes start to come in. They’re subtle, of course. A weird one is that my nose is literally straighter. Y’all don’t see it, but the reason I still shield my face (despite being easily identifiable at this point if you saw me irl and knew this account) is mostly insecurity about my nose and chin. My nose actually physically curves to my right when viewed from the front, and in general, is a huge, classic Roman nose. Looking at head on progress pictures, its actually starting to straighten out. I thought I was imagining things, but I checked in with a couple friends before and after pictures of several years on HRT, and yeah- their noses are different, usually smaller and more symmetrical. Saying that this is a huge relief to me would be an understatement. Additionally, I was insecure about my boxy jawline, but for some reason, it seems to work as a femme feature of my face now- I think slight cheek restructuring helps frame it better. Still not so sure how the chin is gonna turn out. But hey- I started HRT thinking that I would for sure need FFS to pass, but now, I'm far less concerned. I'll at least give it two years.

I’ve also gotten a lot of interesting comments. Several labmates and family members that don’t know I’m transitioning have remarked that my skin looks healthier, and I look younger. I’ve also had noticeable mental health improvement, so I think most people think I’m on some kind of self improvement kick. I mentioned skin care as part of that. We’ll see how long the excuse holds- probably a while, as the changes are so, so subtle at the moment. But shit, I’m only three months in. I’m thrilled.

There’s still no getting rid of my beard shadow. Even though the growth rate of my facial hair has noticeably decreased, the thickness of the basal hairs will always add shading to my face. When I started HRT, I thought it wouldn’t bother me that much until I was ready to socially transition- but tbh, it’s starting to look glaring to me. I’m looking into starting laser sometime in January, and hopefully that’ll help.

Which brings me to the emotional changes. Holy FUCK what a month its been. I’m not gonna expose all of my dirty laundry. But, a mixture of some long term anxieties and a few particular events led to a classic mid-20s “what the fuck am I doing with my life” crisis. One of those long term anxieties was a thought I’m sure many of y’all are familiar with: “I started HRT. Now what? How the fuck am I going to socially transition?”

For a couple days, I was very seriously considering quitting grad school and academia. I’m past that. Tragically, I love science a little too much. I do, however, need a break. I talked to my advisor about taking a hiatus, and he’s fully supportive of the idea. And conveniently, that also provides me with a clean way to simply disappear, and come back as a woman. A nice little break to allow me to socially transition.

But anyways. Here’s my big point here: if I went through something similar pre-HRT, I would’ve reacted completely differently. I would’ve shoved those thoughts deep and let them simmer as a general, background malaise that I would just stew in and suffer. Now? I cried. A lot. Actual fucking tears. I went through a few days of sharp sadness, and then actually fucking processed those emotions. What the fuck? That’s new. It’s insane. I wouldn’t have had the emotional capacity to that before. 

I’m elated. It’s wonderful. It’s a more than welcome change.

But yeah. Steady as she goes. Progress is a little stalled, but both me and my provider are adamant about getting that E up. And I’m still making slow progress as it is.

Very quick NSFW notes after this button.

The final note: sexual function. With the low T… yup, my downstairs functionality has decreased. My ejaculate is clear, and often happens without being fully erect. That said… there’s no way in hell that I would ever trade getting that back for what I have now. My libido is still comes in waves, and is crazy when it comes. The feelings I get from intimate situations now are incredible beyond belief. 

#trans #trans journal #transgender #transfem #trans hrt #hrt #transfemme hrt #transitioning #trans progress