#I was stimming and flapping and whining when I first started it and it just HHHHHHHHHHH

[camping-with-monsters]

Welp I just finished The Teal Mask and I’m never going to be normal again.

#the kiwi speaks #Pokémon dlc spoilers ?? #Pokémon spoilers ?? #I don’t say anything specific about them but #OH MY GOD. #OH MY GOD #OH MY G OD #IM. #YEAG IM #/VERY POS #OKAY UH #IM SO #oh my goddddddddddddd #oh my god oh my god #i got so excited I started crying /srs #I was stimming and flapping and whining when I first started it and it just HHHHHHHHHHH #not saying anything about the story but yeag I’m normal. #no I’m not normal sorry #also tell me why the fuck the VERY first thing that spawned was a shiny. whar. okay. #pokémon scarlet #pokemon violet #Pokémon scarlet and violet #Pokémon dlc #Pokémon #The Teal Mask

[teenyweenyeenymeeny]

any more little scott hcs?

Yes yes hmmm… miscellaneous ones hehe…

• easiest way to tell how old he is feeling are his energy level and how much he’s stimming… in his Normal age range [about 4-8] he is a tiny ball of energy he can’t sit still at All and when he is feeling Especially teeny it is the opposite he barely moves just curls up in a little ball or clings onto someone and Freezes… when he’s a grown up he’s kind of in the middle 🤍

• ^ when he is little he stims in more ways than when he is grown up too… grown up Scott flaps his hands if he’s excited and I Think I will give him the excited stomping and the toe and finger wiggling… little Scott does all of this But sometimes he runs around in a little circle if he’s excited too… and perhaps rolls around on the floor… he Does have other stims too I think but these are the main Specific Consistent ones I can think of

• when Scotty draws or colours pictures he sticks his tongue out… the first time Kim sees him do it she laughs because she remembers him doing that when they really were kids

• ^ speaking of colouring pictures Scotty doesn’t really Believe in the lines hehe… or even the picture he is Supposed to be colouring in 🤍 he is the type of kid to draw big monster battle on top of the lines for like. Peaceful day in the forest :) or something… hehe

• ^ and if he Is just colouring not really adding his own pictures it is way more fun to scribble !!!! Boring to colour in the lines…

• this is something I think I talked about with Sunny [I don’t know if you would want to be tagged hehe… and if so with which blog……] but when Scott plays games like Pokémon he is the type of kid to get bored with the levelling up process and run directly to the next gym hehe… and then when all his Pokémon are so under levelled and he gets his butt kicked he whines and whines… when he is grown up he understands the issue and has more patience to do levelling up but Pokémon is more for when he Isn’t grown up…

• ^ he has to beg for help hehe… he goes Wallace… Wallace sniffle help……. And Wallace goes I don’t know what to tell you buddy you could try levelling up… and Scott just whines More hehe…

• ^ sometimes Scott makes Wallace go with him to visit Neil so he can ask him to help… Neil is the expert……

• ^ this doesn’t Always work out though so sometimes Wallace will try to play for Scott and Scott will stare over his shoulder and do backseat gaming I think hdjsjs and Wallace will get annoyed and say you’re welcome to play your own game if you know best little guy and then Scott will whine about That Too

• ^ if Wallace doesn’t Want to play Scott’s game he will give him a task like ohh could you find whichever Pokémon for me I want you to catch this specific one… and this tricks Scott into doing the levelling up heehe

• ^ oh yes and if Wallace Isn’t there and Scott is home alone he will just. Give up 🤍 he will get annoyed and just start doing something else and forget about the game Immediately…

• I think I have said before that little Scott is Clumsy but I think it was in reference to him always needing a sippy cup… spilling drinks is not the only way he is clumsy !! Another way is. He messes up a Lot if he tries to play his bass

• ^ like he doesn’t Actually know how to play it Ever but he can get by with playing by ear and muscle memory when he’s a grown up… if he regresses during band practice though he forgets what he has taught himself

• ^ sometimes he just starts playing with his bass too trying to make funny or really loud sounds… even if he is supposed to be rehearsing hehe

• ^ I think that MOST of the time Stephen n Kim just laugh it off if this happens and either encourage him to entertain himself or play With him to try and make funny sounds

• ^ maybe once or twice though when they had a show coming up and tensions were already high they got annoyed a little though… snapped at him maybe to at least try to take the band seriously

• ^ that didn’t Help though obviously it just made him feel even Younger and upset :( and he just started crying </3 so Then sex bobomb had to Really end practice because Now they had to comfort the baby… ooooopsie… it would work out though I know it 🤍 and everything would be okay

• when Scott is little he talks really fast and stumbles over words a lot… and I think he is the type of kid to forget to breathe between sentences so he will end up having to cut himself off mid-word to take a big breath hehe

• he can only focus on things if he’s being supervised… it’s weird and he doesn’t really get why he’s like that but if he’s home alone his attention span bounces all over the place but if Wallace is there he can stick to one task for Hours… especially if he gets Contact like sitting in Wallace’s lap while watching TV that sort of thing…

ummmmm all for now ☆

#🖍️ #❌ #🍸 #yea he’s mentioned enough I think… #📝 #scott pilgrim age regression #scott pilgrim agere #scott pilgrim #little scott pilgrim #regressed scott pilgrim #fandom regression #fandom agere #fandom age regression #age regression #agere #sfw agere #agere little #agere blog #sfw age regression #age regression headcanons #ask #anon

[adi06lena]

Why can't it just stop?

Natasha Romanoff x autistic!tourettes!fem!reader

Summary: Y/n is having bad day with her tics so Natasha helps her

Warnings: tic, crying, cussing, i don't think there anything else but let me know if im wrong!

Translations: мамы = mamas(i love the nickname dont judge me), (french)Papillon = butterfly

word count: 3k

Y/n is autistic although I'm focusing on tics more

A/N: this is how tic attacks and tics in general are for me but everyone experiences it differently. Also the end is more focused on lovey dovey stuff and natty taking care of Y/n and less about tics

Tic attacks and random little tic I don’t notice - like my eyebrow twitching, flapping hands(that also could be happy stim for me), tapping feet, or shaking my head vigorously etc.- are very annoying a frustrating -yea I usually cry when I have a tic attack because it’s that frustrating- so I thought I’d write about it. 

My tics are usually random unless I’m under stress or doing something I don’t like -like when I wake up lol-. 

My Canadian ass decided  to put a Tim’s(you’ll understand if your Canadian)  in this lol the end is so rushed cuz it was like 3am also not edited

i wrote the last part not masking so you get to see the un masked version of me and how i act.

its so shitty im sorry 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wake up to light shining through the blinds. I can tell this is going to be a bad day. I already feel a tic attack coming on. I turn to see Nat still sleeping. Hair sprawled out on her pillow. I gently move to lay on my back as to not wake her - it usually helps with my tics-  and bring my heels up to my butt. My feet start to bounce -the beginning of a tic attack-. Nat started to wake. I just bring my hands to my chest and try to breathe. Sometimes I can breathe through them and only tic a little. But I can't just stop a tic fully. I take deep breaths as  my feet tap, my hands only flapping a little this time. That happened a couple times. A wave of relief comes after the tics. 

I can't help the tears that fall down my cheeks. My tics are usually triggered but can also just happen. It's just so frustrating. So tiring. I don't notice Nat awake till she's wiping my tears. She kisses the side of my head.

“Bad day huh?”

All I can do is nod. Nat knows some days are harder than others and she recognizes today is one of those days.

“In bed longer natty?”

“Oh course мамы”

We only layed for another 30 minutes. Natasha brushed my fluffy hair out of my face.

“I think we gotta get up baby”

 I can't help but whine. I just want to stay in bed.

“I know мамы but we gotta eat, and I think maybe a little walk or some training can help” 

She's not wrong moving around does usually help a lot. 

“Hm? How does that sound, baby?”

I can feel my eyebrow tic.

“Your right it would probably help”

“Hold on say that again”

I can't help but giggle

“Say what? That a walk would help?”

“No before that”

I groan and hide my face in my hands. She pulls my hands to see my face.

“That you're right”

“Ahh feels nice”

I slap her on the arm. 

“Ow”

She rubs her arm. I just laugh. 

“ its not my fault i don't hear it a lot”

I look up at her

“Kinda is natty”

Now it's my turn to say ‘ow’ as she slaps my arm. I feel another big tic coming so I stop for a minute and breathe. My head shakes kinda hard. Nat just rubs my side trying to calm me down faster.

“Okay i think it's really time to get up”

I grumble out a small “okay”. Nat gets up first. 

“You wanna change now or after breakfast мамы?”

“Can we after so I can have a shower?”

“Of course baby”

Nat makes her way over to hug me. I bury my head in her chest. She just holds me and rocks side to side. I tic a little in her arms. 

She lets go and grabs my hand and leads me out the door, making our way to the kitchen

“What are we feeling for breakfast?”

She walks over to the fridge, as I move to lean against the counter.

“Can i have some fruit and a little yogurt please”

“of course babygirl”

She grabs some strawberries, kiwis and yogurt, Then makes her way beside me at the counter. I reach to the cupboard at my feet and grab a cutting board and pass it to her. She kisses the side of my head.

“Thank you мамы”

I just hum. I lean my head in my hands and let out a deep sigh. Nat moves to grab a knife and starts cutting the fruit. I grab a couple plastic bowls and start putting a little bit of yogurt in each. Nat put the knife in the sink. 

“Alright done chopping”

I push the bowls over to her. She mumbles a ‘thank you baby’ while I grab some spoons -metal for Nat and plastic for me-. I place the spoons on the table and sit down on the bench waiting for nat.

My feet start tapping again. I lean against the back of the bench and bring my knees to my chest. Ball my hands and bring those to my chest. My head starts to shake vigorously. This is a bad one. I can't help but let out little whines. I can see Nat from the corner of my eye as she quickly walks over. She puts the bowls down and sits beside me. She takes my hands and brings them to her chest. I look over at her.

“Its okay baby, im here”

After some time it finally stops. I bring my feet down to the ground and Nat lets go of my hands. I let out a deep breath. Nat caresses my cheek.

“You okay now love?”

I just nod. I can sometimes go non verbal after bigger tics for a little.

“Are you good to eat? Or do you want me to feed you?”

I shake my head no, lean forward, pick up my spoon and start eating. Nat wraps her hand around my waist and starts to eat.

I finish eating and put my dishes in the sink, I go back and sit next to Nat. I just sit until she's done. She pushes her bowl away and hugs me.

“You wanna shower now baby?”

I nod my head. I let out a surprised yelp when she picked me up to make our way to our shared room. I wrap my arms around her neck and legs around her waist. I rest my head on her chest listening to her heartbeat.

We make it to the room. She sets me down on the edge of the bed. My eyebrow twitches again. I move under her shirt with my hands around her waist. I can feel her laugh. I give a quick peck to her scar and snuggle into her more. She wraps her arms around my shoulders.

“Come on love we need to get clean”

I whine. She pulls her shirt off of me, lifts my chin up so I'm looking into her eyes.

“You can go pick out our clothes and I'll go get the bathroom ready”

“Okay natty”

She lets go and goes to the bathroom. I sigh, then stand up and make my way to the closet. I pick out sweats, t-shirt for Nat and just some joggers and one of nats oversized t-shirt for me. I make my way out of the closet and put the clothes on our bed and make my way to the bathroom. I see Nat got my favourite stuff for showers - i don't like baths because i always look and feel like a prune after- like my strawberry body wash, and my favorite shea butter shampoo and conditioner. She also got the big fluffy towels. God I love this woman. She turns around.

“After this we're gonna go for a little walk then snuggle and nap for the rest of the day”

“Yes please”

“Alright let's get in then baby” 

We both undress. Nat hops in first and turns the water on and checks the temperature. 

“Come on love”

Nat keeps the shower door open and I get in and snuggle into her chest. Natasha grabs  my shampoo and starts to wash my roots. I hum, relaxing at her touch. She quickly washes it out -as to not make my hair dry- and starts on the conditioner. She massages my scalp for a few minutes and then sections it off, twisting it out of the way. 

She starts on my body next. She grabs a washcloth and squirts some body wash on it. 

“You gotta let go of me now мамы”

I let out a deep sigh and detach from nat. My hands start to flap so I ball them up and bring them to my chest. My head starts shaking vigorously. Why can't it just stop? I'm so tired. Nat quickly wraps her arms around me so i don't slip. She rocks us back and forth. My tics seem to be getting worse. Sobs escape me. I just want it to stop.

“Make it stop natty”

I don't see it but tears escape nats eyes. My arms try to flap more but can't as they are pulled against nats chest. She just holds me tighter and I just start cussing. 

“Fuck”

“Bitch”

“Pussy”

“Fuck off”

“Stop!”

After a few more minutes they start to calm down. 

“Your okay baby, its over”

She leaves a quick peck on my forehead and Nat quickly finishes cleaning my body and then moves to wash the conditioner out -with the twists in so they don't tangle- with cold water. 

She turns off the water and leans over grabbing a towel to wrap me in. she scrunches it just above my breasts, She grabs another one and does the same for herself. She opens the shower door and we both get out. She lifts me on the counter. 

“I'll be right back love”

She left another quick peck on my forehead before leaving. I turn around a little and grab some products and a couple ponytails and put them beside me. I lean against the mirror.

Nat comes back fully dressed.

“Alright love lets get you dressed”

I sit up and Nat walks over. She puts my bra and shirt on. Then my panties and joggers. 

“Time for your hair мамы”

My arms start flapping at her words. I don't like having to do my hair.

“I know but I'll be quick. I'm just gonna do some French braids love”

“Okay natty”

Nat grabs a brush from behind me. She takes 1 of the 4 twists and grabs my detangler and starts detangling it. She's gentle and starts from the ends and works her way up. She grabs my leave in and puts that in and brushes it to spread the product. 

She finishes all the sections.

“Alright time to braid then we can go for a walk”

I nod. She starts to weave the pieces picking up new ones forming a braid on the side of my head. She finishes off the braid by tying it off with a ponytail. 

“Next one then your done”

She finished the last braid and tied it off as well. She helped me down. 

“I’m gonna grab the jackets” 

“okay natty I’ll go get shoes” 

She nods and walks over to the closet. I make my way down stairs to the front door. I see shoes -Nat has combat boots and I have air Jordan's- I sit and start putting mine on. Its hard to get the pressure even on each side so I got these cool things that make them slip ons. Nat has her combat boots so I start getting those ready for her to put on. 

She comes down just as I’m finishing. I see she has her coat on already while carrying mine. 

“Come here natty You need your shoes on” 

She chuckles and walks over. She sits and I slip the first one on, doing up the laces -I recently learned how to make a butterfly tie so I do that- and zipping it up. She watches with love in her eyes. I finish the other and stand up.

“Thanks you baby” 

“Did you like the butterfly tie?” 

Nats starts putting on my coat as we talk. My first arm goes in.

“I did my love. Where did you learn that?” 

I put my second hand in.

“I saw a video on it and Thought it was perfect” 

“Why’s that baby?”

She starts zipping up my jacket

“Well the butterfly represents undying love and I’ll love you forever so it fits”

She stands up making sure everything is done up. 

“Aw you’re sweet, thank you babygirl” 

She gives me a gentle kiss

“Can we go for a walk now natty?” 

“We sure can baby. Just wait by the door I need to get the keys and gloves”

“Okay natty” 

We part ways as she makes her way to the kitchen, and me the front door. 

I decide to wait outside. It’s snowing today so I just look at all the snow. I put my hand in my pockets. Nat comes out and locks the door behind her pocketing the keys.

“my love you needed your gloves before you come out here” 

“It’s so pretty natty I couldn’t wait” 

She just takes my hands giggling and starts putting on my gloves. There a dark red -my favourite because they remind me of natty- and does up the Velcro around my wrists. 

“Alright now that my baby’s hands won’t get cold we can go” 

I just giggle. I intertwine our gloved hands. We start our walk. 

“Where are we walking today natty?” 

“I was thinking to Tim Horton's and then back home”

I beam at that.

“Can we get candy cane hot chocolate?”

“Of course baby” 

I can’t help the goofy smile that appears on my face. 

“Yay, my favorite!” 

 Nat chuckles. We don’t talk much. Only look at the trees and the snow. 

As soon as we get close I start to run. 

“Baby stop running you’ll slip!” 

“I’m fine natty, I need to get my hot cocoa!” 

She catches up with me and grabs my waist.

“I know love, we’ll get you your hot cocoa but you gotta walk okay?”

“Okay”

Nat grabs my hand and  we walk up to the entrance. We wait in line. I focus on the TV menu. Nat kisses my temple and rubs my back as social places can be too much for me. 

“You wanna a smile cookie to baby?

“Yes please natty”

We move up the line as people get their orders. They call us to the till. 

“What can i get for you today?”

Before Nat can start i cut her off.

“Can we get 2 medium candy cane hot chocolates double cupped please?”

They put it in the system. My hands clap -happy stim-. 

“Anything else?”

Nat talks this time

“Also 2 smile cookies and that's all”

they puts that in as well.

“Okay and your total comes to 6.98, what are you paying with today ma’ma?”

I pull out my card. Nats lets me as i usually get bad anxiety about having enough money. im to excited to care right now.

“Debit please”

“Okay whenever your ready”

I quickly tap my card.

“Alright you can pick your stuff up just down there when it's ready”

We both walk down to the pick up area. Are things arrive quickly. 

“Here you go babygirl”

Nat hands me my drink and cookie. My eyebrow twitches

“Thank you natty!”

She grabs hers. We start to make our way home while sipping and snacking. It takes a little longer to get home because I get distracted by some snow and want to play for a little while. Nat just watches ‘not wanting to get cold’ - a Russian getting cold? I know crazy-. 

Nat quickly opens the door kicking the snow off her boots and taking off her gloves, I do the same. I set my drink down and take off my jacket. I sit and take off my shoes. I see Nat on the bench taking off her jacket. I scooch over to her feet and start gently under doing her combat boots. Once I'm done I put them up nicely.

Natty comes up behind me and hugs me. I giggle, which is music to nats ears.

“You wanna take a nap now?”

I turn around wrapping my arms around her waist and snuggle into her. I nod my head.

“Alright lets get you to bed then baby”

I move my hands around her neck as she grabs the back of my thighs and wraps my legs around her waist. 

She brings us to our room and sets me down on the bed. I immediately snuggle in the blankets.

“Wow replaced me already”

I just grumble making grabby hands at her. She gets in bed and I snuggle up to her. She starts to rub my back.

“I'm proud of you for today baby”

I look up and peck her lips.

“Thank you natty”

Nat kisses my forehead. I feel my eyelids getting heavy. 

“I love you natty”

“I love you too papillon”

I drift off in nats arms knowing even on my worst days she'll be there. We’re re butterflies and we fly together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meaning of butterfly in love(according to google):The most prevailing is its symbolism for long life. When two butterflies are seen flying together or are following each other, it represents undying love.

thank you for taking the time to read this!!

i hope you enjoyed! have a good morning/evening/night!!!

 ~Adi out <3

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha x reader #natasha #romanofff #natasha romanoff #natalia romanova #natalia romanoff #marvel #avengers #black widow #natasha x you #natasha romanoff x you #natasha x y/n #natasha romanoff x y/n #fem #fem reader #autistic reader #tourettes

[toonytoodles]

Here's another round of "these would be head canons except it's canon" or "random ideas I had and wrote down and I'm posting them to keep track of all my thoughts"

-

Sofia always gets a little nervous when walking up or down stairs, she's terrified to fall, unfortunately her room is upstairs, and no one knows of this fear

Pond has submechanaphobia (the fear of underwater objects)

Ponds younger sibling Brook has "nicknames" for her and her friends.

"Pon," "Avey," "Memma," "Fia," "Cememine," and the calls both the twins "Anby-n-Anby"

Pond can size shift in a way, being able to be small enough to fit in a glass, or be as big as a lake, she can change her size shape and form under the right conditions, but prefers not to

Andie doesn't swim- it's not that she doesn't know how, she just doesn't like getting wet, and she doesn't like swimsuits

Avery gets bored and thinks about random stuff a lot

The twins have done that cat nose boop to their friends, they were all touched by the sentiment, except for Avery who had to have it explained to her, then she happy-cried about it

Andie and Andy snuggle like actual cats do, often purring as they sleep

Andie is the older and more assertive twin

Every time Andie gets deadnamed Emma looms over the person with an angry look and just says "Her name is Andie." In a dead serious tone. It doesn't happen as often anymore, but I like to think after they run in terror, Emma checks to see if Andie is okay, then needs to be reassured that she's not actually that scary

Sometimes the others can't understand Avery due to her accent, to everyone else it's kinda funny, (though Emma does try REALLY hard to understand), but Avery gets kinda mad, especially if it's important or if she's already upset. Shes especially hard to understand if she's upset/panicking, it kind of sounds like gibberish at that point. That's usually when she gets pancaked by Em.

When Emma first met Sofia she PANICKED cause she had no idea what a dullahan was. Emma just started screaming and panicking, until Clementine and Avery calmed her down and slowly explained that she was fine, that she's supposed to have her head off. Emma didn't completely get it at first, but she's slowly adjusted to it and she understands it now, but then she was so scared. She's really really embarrassed by it, and feels bad about it, and Sofia was scared of her too, so it was just really awkward at first. They're cool now, but at first they wanted to run away from each other upon seeing the other

Avery doesn't like jewelry- it's too much sensory wise, she doesn't like the feel of rings, bracelets, or necklaces, and she can't wear earrings, they won't pierce through her scales

Avery absent mindedly lays on her stomach and is always wearing something that covers her stomach- she doesn't realize it, but it's a survival instinct, as her stomach is one of her biggest weak points. She's almost physically incapable of lying on her back, she can only do it when she's in a safe calm environment where she feels she can't be hurt. But again, this all happens subconsciously, she doesn't notice that she's doing it. Her other huge weak point is her tail, it's important to her balance, and it's directly connected to her spine, so should anything happen to her tail, it could be life or death. This one she is aware of, but there are other reasons she doesn't like people touching her tail in addition to the danger it puts her in. It's uncomfortable for her, it's hers and it's weird to her if you touch it. It's uncomfortable on a couple of levels, it feels uncomfortable and is literally uncomfortable, leave her tail alone. The only exception to this is Emma, and only because it can't always be helped, she might touch her tail some when she sits on her hand. But Emma tries to touch is as little as possible, as she knows how bad it bothers her. (also Avery can lay on her back in Emma's pocket)

Sapphire has a Scottish accent- that's where Avery got it from

Emma and Avery do eventually become a couple, they're just anxious and beat around the bush about it for a while. They're too nervous to tell each other, they're worried about rejection, ruining their friendship, and being good enough for the other. Once they're dating it doesn't change much, except they do call hanging out with each other dates and occasionally do couple things (and Avery does kiss her at one point, which Emma gets all flustered about)

Andie and Andy are identical twins

Andies enchanted flute can implant suggestions into people's minds, and she has the ability to talk to/understand feral animals, this is all she can do because she doesn't want to put in the effort to learning more, and 90% of the time she forgets she can do either

They all have a favorite ice cream flavor!

Avery - Moon berry ice cream with chunks of hot pepper and hot fudge on top

Emma - Chocolate with fudge chunks and chocolate syrup on top

Sofia - Vanilla

Clementine - Coffee flavored ice cream with chocolate syrup and marshmallows

Andie - Neapolitan, preferably in a sundae

Andy - Strawberry with strawberry syrup and when possible, strawberries on top

Andie is secretly scared of balloons

Emma's shoes are slip ons

Andie gets vocal training to sound more feminine, Andy pays for the classes out of his allowance

Emma's house has small platforms and walkways for beans. One of these elevated walk ways leads into Emma's room, where there's a small cubby hole that's a make shift room for beans. Emma set it up for Avery to give her some space when she comes over, she has a big family, and everyone in the family is big, and they all want Averys attention- it can be a bit much. When Avery is in the small room she's officially off limits, with Emma being close by to ward off her siblings. Emma worries about her small friends safety, and sanity, and tries to make accommodations for her, both with her size and her needs.

Averys stims/ticks are: Hand flapping, tail wagging, she has a pressure stim that helps her calm down, her feet claws dig at the ground absent mindedly, her leg bounces when she sits, she pulls on her hair, ocassionally grunts and/or whines, will scream at the top of her lungs when she's pushed past her limit, and rarely, but sometimes she randomly twitches/flinches, and hates when people point it out, like, she's not spasming on purpose, you don't have to be a jerk about it... Emma doesn't stand for it either, so people will shut up about it quickly. Avery doesn't have anything diagnosed, but it's very possible that she has adhd, a sensory processing disorder, an anxiety disorder, and/or is somewhere on the spectrum. I'm not going to officially diagnose her with anything, most of these things are based off myself, and I feel that they also apply to her. These seem very in character, Avery is impulsive, can't sit still, does things without thinking/ not realizing she's doing it, she can't stand certain feelings/sensations/ textures/ tastes, etc., she panics kind of easily, and it escalates quickly, she has several stims/ticks that she uses for basically every emotion, she likes to enclose herself in comfortable small spaces, she has certain people she goes to for comfort, this is all canon already, I've discussed most of it before, I just thought I'd try to list it all out for my own reference

In Averys particular subspecies, there's no way to tell what the sex of the draconic is before it hatches. Her parents debated on a while about various male/female names, but they didn't want to keep referring to the egg as "the egg," or "the baby," as they didn't just think of the egg as an object, so they decided wanted on a gender neutral name for the egg so it could work for either, eventually deciding on Avery

Emma has anxiety about accidentally hurting her small friends, sometimes causing nightmares and makes her want to distance herself from them

Emma doesn't like being upside down (she learned this when she accidentally shrunk herself down to borrower size and Avery accidentally picked her up upside down in a panic)

After buying new clothes, Sofia often sets her head on her bed then does a small fashion show to see how it looks on her- she finds it's one of the few benefits of being a dullahan

Clementine LOVES mind puzzles and being able to problem solve, anything that poses a challenge excites her

Sofia often carries her pet snake on her shoulders, wearing her ball python as a boa

Avery loves sour candy, Emma prefers chocolate, Clementine likes m&ms and small candies that can be eaten while studying, also she considers grass and raisins a candy, something that is a debate amongst her friends, Sofia likes gummies, Andie likes candy bars, and Andy likes hard candies, Pond doesn't eat, so she can't eat candy, but would absolutely love chocolate covered almonds if she could taste them

Pond can do impressions- she often likes to mimic Avery and Andie because she finds accents funny, for some reason? She doesn't really know what it is about them, she just finds them hilarious

Emma is determined to find a way to hug Pond, she will hug water, she'll figure it out someday...

Out of all their friends, Emma only trusts herself to help Avery when she really needs it. It's not that she doesn't trust anyone else, it's just that, well, she doesn't think her friends can handle it. Emma's little brother Aaron has a lot of the same struggles as Avery, so Emma's a little more knowledgeable and understanding than the others. Not to say that the others aren't understanding, but they're often confused or flustered or even scared of Averys behavior sometimes, whereas Emma sees her struggling and attempts to help. The others can't do much most of the time, whereas Emma can help her out by giving her a small squish to help her decompress, put her in her pocket when she needs to be alone, she's scared, upset, tired, etc.,and knows how to talk to her to help her calm down, and she's good at figuring out what it is that she needs/wants when she gets too elevated and is panicking and/or shutting down

#toonytoodlesoc #original character #oc #avery trowbridge #amelia mcconnel #sofia hodges #clementine moores #pond the elemental #andy and andie #andie & andy

[sunriseindigo]

the path to antares

ayame x mikako, 1174 words

summary: after an accidental kiss, the two confront the secret feelings that they have for each other

tags: confession, first kiss, hand holding at the end, stargazing, it’s really cute,,,,, + autistic-coded ayame!!!

yes i did just think of this rarepair literally today. yes i will now think about it for a week straight. (also i highly recommend listening to this song as u read it,, it’s really good and it sets the mood nicely!! :D)

This wasn’t supposed to happen. The events leading up to it gave no signs whatsoever. Yet here Mikako was, feeling a sense of confusion and oddly enough relief. This mixture of feelings took her by surprise to say the least.

She just had her first kiss. And it wasn’t with anyone that she had expected.

“I-i’m sorry!” Ayame exclaimed, her face coated with blush. “I didn’t mean to do it, I-i swear!”

Mikako couldn’t help but stare at Ayame, astonished. She wanted to say something; god she wished she could’ve. But the words that she wanted to say wouldn’t escape her mouth. All that she could do was wait and watch Ayame nervously stim with her jacket until she was able to speak again.

After what seemed like hours, she finally found her voice again.

“...Why did you do it?” Mikako asked, her words feeling hoarse.

“What?” Ayame asked, looking up at the exorcist.

“Why did you kiss me?”

“Look, I don’t know, okay? It was just a heat in the moment thing… I didn’t know what I was doing… god I feel so stupid…”

The two stood in silence, taking in that whole encounter. Mikako’s shoulder finally began to relax however that didn’t stop the enigmatic feelings encompassing her. Ayame began to make tiny little whines as her eyes darted everywhere, almost as if she was trying to find the correct words to say as well. Needless to say, both of them felt speechless.

Mikako took in the fact that the stars in the sky almost illuminated Ayame, as if she was glowing. They had been stargazing in Mikako’s backyard, trying to point out the different constellations that they could see until Ayame pulled her in and kissed her. It put her in a daze, trying to figure out what to do next. It wasn’t as if she didn’t like it--in fact she enjoyed it. But with how quickly Ayame did it and then pulled away just before Mikako could take it all in… it felt magical in a sense.

“That… I never expected something like that,” Mikako commented, feeling blush creep up to her face. “Especially from someone like you.”

“It was bold of me, I know,” Ayame said. “And I wanted to let you--”

“You know, I found it quite nice.”

“R-really?”

“Um… yeah.”

Although she was trying her best to hold it back, Ayame couldn’t help but smile at Mikako’s statement. Her face became a warm red and her hands began to fidget as they would momentarily flap once in a while. Mikako started to grin as well when she noticed that.

“I was telling you that the reason why I did it is that… well,” Ayame paused as pulled down the sleeves of her jacket to fully cover her hands, “I have feelings for you. Romantic feelings.”

She was slightly taken back by this. Mikako didn’t expect that to be the night where her close friend would confess to her, especially in a way so breathtaking yet strange, though she had to admit that she wasn’t exactly surprised. Looking back on the times that she spent with Ayame, it was pretty obvious that the sprinter had a crush on her.

“Well?” Ayame’s voice hinted with curiosity, looking straight up at the exorcist. “Are you going to say anything? Did I mess up?”

“Of course you didn’t mess up. I was a bit taken back, that’s it,” Mikako replied, cupping her cheek with her hand. “To be honest… I have feelings for you too.”

“W-wait, are you serious?”

“I mean, I wouldn’t be saying I have feelings for you if I didn’t, right?”

“I’m… I didn’t expect you to accept it.”

Mikako’s eyebrows furrowed. “Why did you think that?”

“I thought you would be interested in other people… like Satsuki or Rei. I didn’t think you would be interested in someone as awkward and quiet like me.”

She couldn’t help but laugh when she said that, though she wasn’t in a mean-spirited or rude manner. “Why would you think I’m not interested in you?” Mikako asked, genuinely wondering what Ayame would say.

“Well, you’re around them more often than you are with me. Besides, they seem so much more cool and fun to hang out with. I thought they would fit you better… that I’m not good enough compared to them.”

“... Ayame, can I be honest?”

She sighed. “Go ahead.”

“I’ve enjoyed every single second that we’ve spent together. You always have this way of speaking that’s so poetic… it’s quite beautiful, really.”

It wasn’t what Ayame had expected, but from those few words alone she covered her face in an attempt to cover up the fact that she was blushing madly.

“S-stop it…” the sprinter mumbled.

“I’m honestly really glad that I got to meet you, Ayame. In fact, it was one of the best things that I have ever done in my life. You’ve introduced this light in my life I didn’t know that I needed, and you continue to amaze me every single day. And I love you for that.”

Ayame slowly uncovered the hands from her face, revealing a few tears that had started to stream down her cheek. “Y-you really mean a-all of that?” she asked, starting to get choked up on her own words.

“Yes. Every single one,” she replied honestly.

A big smile formed on Ayame’s face as she took in what she had just heard. She walked up to her before standing on her tiptoes and giving Mikako a gentle kiss on the cheek. Once she had stepped down, the two of them laughed feeling a sense of comfort and joyfulness wash over them. They finally managed to get their feelings out to each other, and they couldn’t have been any more happier in that moment.

They resumed their stargazing as soon as they calmed down, being in awe with what they saw in the sky. Mikako pointed at a star, shining brightly as she slowly began to trace the constellation it was in with her finger.

“Do you see that star right there?” she asked.

“Where?” Ayame responded, trying to find it.

“I’m circling it.”

She squinted her eyes as she tried to spot what the exorcist was pointing to before suddenly gasping. “Found it!”

“You know the constellation Scorpius right?”

“Yes? We were talking about it before… you know.”

“Where I’m pointing to right there is Antares, a star in that constellation. Apparently it’s the 15th brightest star that exists and is one of the largest.”

“Wow…”

“It’s said to be the heart of the Scorpius. In a way, it reminds me of you.”

“Aww, that’s really sweet!”

As they began to talk more and more about the stars and constellations, their hands began to touch to the point where they were holding each other's hands. They didn’t notice this at all as they rambled on and on about what they saw and cool facts that they knew.

On that night, Antares seemed to shine brighter than it ever did.

#dra #danganronpa another #ayame hatano #mikako kurokawa #my fics #umm what's the ship name for these two... #ayakako #hatakawa #i seriously do not know but i'm sticking with ayakako anyways #also yes i did steal the song title for the title of my fic... what about it?? /j #i know i promised to write a fic about yamato and i'm getting onto it dw!! #i just need to think of an idea first... #+ i'm not that good at writing men lol

[a-solitary-marshmallow]

Please Don‘t See Me - Chapter 7

Ford was early to rise, intent on packing for a day of research in the forest. His journal and writing implements went into his backpack along with some mushrooms, in case he had to bribe any gnomes. Sample bags – for taking samples, obviously. Trail mix for Ford and jerky for Rebus. A pocket knife for cutting through any unwanted vegetation. A small case of tools in case any of his equipment needed recalibrating. The equipment itself; most notably, the old metal detector he had converted into a handheld mutation-scanner.

Well, technically it detected a currently-unknown element he’d found traces of in a mutated squirrel’s body, that he suspected was the cause of the mutation. Close enough.

Ford fiddled with the makeshift scanner, checking that it was in working order, before he aimed it at the freezer. After a brief hesitation the machine chirped.

“Yes!” Ford grinned excitedly. And then hesitated. “…perhaps there is a better place to keep specimens.”

Hmm.

Rebus shot him a look across the kitchen that seemed to say, ‘why yes, maybe you shouldn’t be keeping a mutated squirrel corpse in the same freezer you store food in’. Ford huffed.

“Well, for the moment it’s the only place I have where it can be properly preserved. Now come here, I want to test something.”

Rebus trotted forward and Ford lifted his scanner towards the wolf. The scanner remained unresponsive.

“…that’s odd.” Ford had been sure that the wolf’s eccentricities had been the result of the same mutation. If it wasn’t that…

It beeped. Ford studied his scanner curiously.

“The element’s presence is weaker in you than in the squirrel, but that could be due to the level of exposure, or perhaps the amount of time since the exposure. In any case, my hypothesis was correct! You must have come into contact with the source material somehow…” Rebus cocked his head inquisitively. “How should I know? That’s what today’s expedition is for. If it’s not the crystals I may try to retrace your steps before you came here.”

At the last moment Ford pulled on a thick coat to hide from the winter chill. It wasn’t yet snowing but the ground gleamed with frost. He shrugged on his backpack and, armed with his journal in hand, started the trek into the woods.

Rebus padded alongside him – Rebus went everywhere with him. Ford could hardly remember not having the massive, shaggy hound around. Who did he used to talk to while he worked? Himself?

…when he was younger, he used to talk to Stanley.

His brother rarely understood the content but he always listened intently while Ford rambled on about parabolas or string theory or whatever he was studying. Stanley had always seemed to know exactly what Ford needed. He gave his undivided attention even to subjects he found boring, just because Ford loved them. Their parents often thought Ford was annoying but Stan listened and it had been one of Ford’s favourite things to rush to him with whatever exciting new fact he’d learned so they could be excited together. When Ford had gotten self-conscious about stimming in public Stan would blow a raspberry, flap his hands and jump around until Ford couldn’t help but join in too, and he was having so much fun that didn’t much care anymore what others thought.

A bump against Ford’s side brought him back to the present and he stumbled, catching himself on the tree trunk Rebus had just stopped him from walking into face-first.

Ford gave his head a quick shake to clear it, irritated with himself. Why was he thinking about Stanley? He was in the process of making a scientific discovery! There were more important things to think about.

…if this truly was a previously-undiscovered element, would Ford get to name it?

The deeper they walked into the forest the more uneasy Ford’s travelling partner seemed to get. Rebus’s thick fur prickled and he pressed close to Ford’s side, casting wary glances at the forest around them. The anxiousness was infectious. Ford gripped his sensor tightly and rested one hand on the wolf’s back, taking comfort in the contact. Ford didn’t notice anything amiss, but canine senses were notoriously sharper than humans’. Perhaps the crystal formations grew in the territory of another predator; or, perhaps, the griffin flock from earlier had passed through this area. Whatever the reason Rebus remained on-edge through the majority of the hike.

Ford’s apprehension, however, was forgotten the moment the crystals came into view. He picked up his pace and hurried into their midst, chatting to Rebus as he did.

“Now, last time I was here I planned to measure the crystals’ growth, and I made a mark – ah, here! Hmm. They haven’t grown since I last checked, which was… four months ago. My, time does fly. I suppose I can disregard the theory that they have an accelerated growth rate. When we return to the house I must remember to investigate natural crystal formation. There’s still the possibility that their growth rate is slower than the norm!”

Rebus let out a curious-sounding rumble, wariness seemingly sidelined for the moment. It wasn’t a question, but Ford elaborated anyway.

“Ah, you see, investigating the conditions of their formation will allow me to deduce what other places they may exist in.” Ford glanced up at the sky, reassuring himself that the mildly overcast weather had not cleared up since he began this expedition. Fluctuating levels of sunlight would increase the chance of either Ford or Rebus getting caught in a stray size-altering beam.

Ford lifted his sensor and ran it carefully over the nearest crystal, which was a lovely blush colour. There was no reaction so he moved onto the next.

“Now, hopefully my scanner here will pick up traces of that mystery element. Considering it has been present in every creature I’ve known to be affected by the mutation, there is a high chance that it will be present in the source of the mutation.” Ford glanced over his shoulder at Rebus, who seemed torn between watching Ford curiously and glaring at the forest around them. “Hmm, perhaps your presence here might skew the results if you carry traces of it… then again, the element’s presence in you is quite weak, and… aha!”

The last part was a triumphant cry as his sensor beeped. The crystal it had landed on looked very much like its neighbours but for the tiny flecks of some sort of mineral deposit inside its translucent body, peppering the stream of sunlight focused through it with tiny shadows. The grass around this particular crystal grew thicker and more virulent than in the rest of the clearing. Perhaps…

Ford plucked the leaf from a nearby tree and experimentally dropped it into said beam of light. It plopped lightly to the ground and did not grow or shrink as expected. Instead, as he watched, the delicate veins began to swell and bulge.

Ford let out a rush of air. “The light. The minerals in the crystal must be distorting its natural size-altering properties! Don’t you see Rebus, this is most likely the source of the mutated creatures running around Gravity Falls.”

Rebus padded over leaned against Ford’s side, a steady presence. Ford whipped out his journal to start jotting down observations.

“But why only now… the crystal fragments in the grass suggest that one was damaged recently, perhaps a formation that prevented light reaching the deformed crystal. In the wake of its absence the deformed crystal has been exposed to light and thus will affect any creature that walks into its path!” He studied the swollen leaf. “Yes, that would explain the disproportionate physique of affected creatures; and I wonder if it influences their disposition as well, or if the ones I’ve come across were already predisposed to violence. Perhaps the latter, given that you seem to have been affected both physically and mentally and yet are non-aggressive towards humans.”

Rebus let out an offended huff.

“Don’t give me that look. The fact that you seem to have some understanding of what I’m saying to you at all suggests heightened intelligence that I suspect came from this very source.” Ford nodded to himself. “Yes, yes… I’ll definitely have to run some experiments on this. Perhaps I can isolate and identify the mystery mineral. It will be a good excuse to test my new Mass Spectrometer!”

Ford (very carefully) scraped off several samples of the crystal. Drilling into it to extract a fleck of mystery mineral took quite some time. He frowned to himself as he guided a pair of tweezers into the narrow hole, trying to extract one while causing minimal damage to the crystal. Fiddly work indeed. He was glad he’d packed a small hand drill and a facial mask, to avoid breathing in any of the dust.

Rebus let out a distressed whine from behind him.

“Yes, yes, I know. We’ll leave in a second, I just need to collect this sample.” Ford carefully lifted the glinting fleck and dropped it into a plastic bag, quickly folding it up and securing it into his pack to avoid any light shining onto it. He had enough oddities already, thank you very much. He wasn’t looking to be mutated on top of that.

Ford packed up his equipment and shrugged on his pack with a wide grin. Rebus shook himself and padded over to join him as Ford began the walk back. Ford’s mind raced as he walked. With these samples he should be able to run tests and deduce the exact nature of its effect on organic tissue. Hopefully he would be able to reverse-engineer its effects to cure affected creatures. Perhaps he should pull a tarp over the deformed crystal to prevent it from mutating anything else?

Ford was still deep in thought when they broke the thick tree cover and headed through a more sparse area of vegetation. Rebus growling was his first clue that they weren’t alone. His second clue was something growling back.

Ford froze as a low, aggressive huffing filled the air. He turned slowly, shoulders hunched, to catch a glimpse of a big body across the clearing. Big, covered in patchy, shaggy brown fur, disproportionate as it gathered up its huge mass to stomp and woof angrily at the growling wolf. The Rebus of bears, as it was. The hairs on the back of Ford’s neck prickled.

…ah. So that was the reason for Rebus’s wariness.

Ford took a slow step backwards and the bear stomped and whuffed, peeling back its lips to display yellowish teeth. Rebus’s rumbling growl got a little louder. Ford tried to think. Why would a wild bear attack them? Maybe there were cubs nearby, or simply they’d wandered too close into its territory and it felt threatened. Their best bet was to back away slowly, appear small as they edged out of its territory-

Rebus sprang forward.

“No!” Ford yelped but the wolf was already charging for the creature’s throat. The bear hunched its shoulders to protect its vulnerable neck and its teeth snapped shut just shy of Rebus’s leg. The wolf yelped and the bear swung one massive paw and sent him skidding.

Ford yelled, which, in hindsight, may have been a mistake, because the now-enraged bear charged towards him.

#werewolf stan au #werewolf!stan #gravity falls #fic #my writing #chapter 7

[thechildoflightning]

Pumpkin Ch3- Pick

Title: Pumpkin [Masterpost]

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Pairings: LAMP/CALM

~~~

Chapter Title: Pick- Chapter Three

Summary: 

Family traditions are something Virgil’s never really had in a good way before. He had traditions- rituals- in his life once. But they weren’t the good kind. After, well his father had tried and they did have small traditions. But for the most part, Virgil never had that chance, never had the chance to create small little traditions with his family.

And now he does. He has that chance.

Warnings: Brief Panic, Overstimulation

[ao3 link]

~~~

Pick- Chapter Three

Knowing them- well more- knowing Roman, they got detoured once more. They were headed towards the actual pumpkin patch, but suddenly, Roman had them staring out at a bath of yellow, filled with kids screeching as they threw corn in the air.

“What… is it?” Logan asked, “I mean. It’s a pit with corn. But- what is it?”

“It’s a corn pit!” Roman says, spinning to gesture at the pit as if that explains it all. Logan frowns slightly.

“Yes.”

“It’s a pit! Of corn!” He says with the same excitement, practically bouncing in place.

“Yes. It is.”

“You play in it!”

Logan looks towards the pit with assorted people playing in it, creating corn angels and sinking into the yellow substance.

“...Why?”

Roman frowns, and seems to take a moment to actually think about instead of bounding to conclusions for once.

“...Because it’s fun?” He says uncertainty, as if Logan’s question was a trick.

“But it’s...corn,” Logan observes, still looking at the substance.

“Yup.”

“You don’t play in corn,” Logan states, as if it is a simple fact. Which fair- Virgil can get behind that. He’s a big supporter of the idea that corn is generally better eaten than played in. Especially as popcorn/

“Other people are,” Roman points out, gesturing as the groups of people playing in the kernels.

“Kids are,” Logan acknowledges, “We aren’t kids.”

“So? There’s no rule saying that we can’t.”,” Roman challenges.

Logan shifts, and seems to consider.

“There isn’t an explicitly stated rule, no,” he admits while still not giving way to the activity. Roman offers a shrug in response.

“Okay. Well I’m going to jump into the pit once. Because it’s fun. If kinda gross. You can if you want or you don’t have to.”

And with that, Roman shoves Kit in Virgil’s arm and leaps into the pit. Corn goes flying, and Roman starts to genly sink, comically slow. He lays out on his back as he slowly becomes covered, before sitting up suddenly before his head can disappear, and shaking the corn out of his hair.

Logan observes Roman, and Virgil and Patton observe Logan. Trixie observes Virgil. Kit observes the scents nearby.

Eventually, Logan seems to make a decision, and after looking around once more, he gives a firm nod, and enters the pit of corn. Roman brightens up at the sight and wades through corn towards him.

Logan’s face morphs from hesitant, to surprised, to curious. He threads his finger through the corn, letting it spill through his fingers and back into the pit. When all the corn drops he flaps one of his hands once before grabbing more corn and letting it run through his hands again.

“I like it,” Logan tells Roman, who’s obviously waiting for an evaluation. “The corn feels nice.”

Logan stares, transfixed by the corn as he continues to stim by running his hands through it. Kit wiggles in Virgil’s arms, and Virgil lets him down, watching as Roman and Logan play in the corn pit. 

With his attention on his husbands, Virgil doesn’t notice Kit charging for Logan, directly into the corn pit.

Kit whines at the side, trying to figure out how to enter, and Virgil is just about to call him back over, heart already hammering in his chest as he realizes what Kit’s going to try.

But he freezes, and a millisecond is all Kit needs to make a decision and leap into the pit.

“Kit!” Virgil yelps. Patton gasps at his side.

Kit struggles towards Logan, making a bit of headway before starting to sink in the corn. When he realizes what’s happening he starts to cry, and scrambles to reach the top, but his desperate attempts only make him sink further in.

It’s barely a second later before Logan’s grabbing him, and scooping the pup up into his arms, murmuring words of comfort. Kit clings to him desperately.

Virgil’s heart is pounding and his breath comes out in wheezes. His mind is filled with worry for Kit. Kit almost- he almost drowned in corn. What the fuck. He could get hurt so easily, Virgil hadn’t even noticed-

His cut out of his spiralling by a familiar nose nudging his hand. He has enough sense to follow Trixie’s lead, sitting heavily on a free bench behind them. Trixie jumps up, settling in his lap, and Virgil takes some deep breaths as she performs the grounding exercise. 

Seconds later, he notices Patton at his side and leans into him, still a little out of breath and suddenly exhausted at the startling wave of panic.

He takes a deep breath and looks for Kit.

“Kit’s fine,” Patton soothes at his side.

Virgil nods, as he watches his pup continue to cling onto a Logan that’s trying to get out of a corn pit with a puppy attached to him. 

Kit is fine. He definitely seems a bit startled and is firmly latched onto Logan, but Logan and Roman are both giving him so much comfort and keeping a careful eye on him. Kit is fine.

Did Virgil really almost have a panic attack about his puppy falling into a pile of corn? 

Well, it wouldn’t be the first time he’s panicked over his dogs getting hurt. He never thought it would involve corn, but hey, Kit’s always been a bit more chaotic then his two previous dogs.

Kit is fine. But then Logan’s face twists into something more resembling distress than comfort.

Virgil directs Trixie off him and races over, trying to figure out what’s wrong.

But he can’t find anything wrong, Kit looks fine. Logan doesn’t even seem to be paying as much attention anymore.

“Is Kit hurt, is he okay?” Virgil demands, still lost. Logan shakes his head and hands over Kit. Virgil quickly takes him in his arms scooping him close. Kit whines a bit, and scrabbles at his arms trying to get back to Logan, still shaken up. But Virgil isn’t ready to let him go, and he brings him close, hugging him tight. Trixie presses up against his side.

Virgil’s paying so much attention to Kit, he doesn’t take notice of Logan starting to stim by flapping his arms. The motion does catch his attention after a moment, especially considering Logan is generally uncomfortable stimming so visibly in public.

Virgil smiles at him, happy to see his husband feeling free to stim visibly, until he takes note of the fact that the flaps Logan is doing don’t seem to be happy at all. Instead of joyful and waving, their desperate and hard, and Logan’s face twists into something uncomfortable.

Roman also seems to notice, and takes a step closer to Logan, who jerks away and shakes his head and biting his lip, hands still flapping.

“Hey Lo,” Patton said, “You seem upset. Is that right?”

Logan gives a firm nod.

“Okay. That's good to know. Are you overstimulated?”

Logan nods once more and continues flapping. He pulls his head up and starts looking around.

“Are you emotionally overstimulated?” Patton asks, considering the recent corn-drowning encounter with Kit.

Logan shakes his head.

“Physically overstimulated?”

A nod.

“Okay. I’m going to run through the senses and we’ll try to figure this out.”

Logan nods. He brings his arms in tight to his chest, and start rubbing at his forearm and hand with his other hand, twisting his hand around the limb as he continues to look around. The motion doesn’t escape them.

“Touch?” Patton asks.

Logan nods fiercely, and continues to rub at his arms. 

“Film. Dust. Get off,” Logan states.

“From the corn?” Patton asks.

Logan nods.

“Okay, well I know there were bathrooms somewhere around here. Do you want to try washing your hands and arms?”

Logan nods.

Roman darts away to find where the bathrooms are located, and when he returns, the four of them wake their way over.

Logan vigorously washes his hands in the sink for a few minutes, eyebrows scrunching in and mouth tight as he scrubs up and down his arms and hands. 

Eventually, he seems to be satisfied, and turns the water off, looking much calmer. He’s stopped stimming as anxiously and his features are no longer tight. 

“Sorry,” he mutters to the three of them.

“You don’t need to be sorry,” Virgil says.

Logan nods in acknowledgment. 

“You’re right,” Logan says, “I’m not sorry. I say that I am but that’s not- I’m not sorry. I don’t like bad textures.”

Kit squirms in Virgil’s arms. 

“I think someone was worried about you,” Virgil comments, “want him back?”

Logan nods in agreement and Virgil passes over the puppy who instantly curls up in Logan's arms, leaning into his chest. Logan smiles at him and gives him a small kiss on the forehead. 

“He’s babey,” Roman declares, causing Virgil to snort in laughter and Patton to smile and coo at Kit. 

“Pumpkins?” Virgil suggests.

The group agrees, and slowly but surely they finally make their way to the pumpkin patch. 

The field stretches out to agree in front of them. Virgil can only imagine that it goes for miles, stretching past the horizon. Green leaves on brown ground with bright orange spheres sitting throughout them cover the field. 

They could have grabbed pre-picked pumpkins near the front, but this is much more fun. 

They begin together, but Roman is quickly gone, looking for “the best pumpkin ever.” 

His definition of best usually involves picking the largest pumpkin he can reasonably carry back to the car. And while Roman isn’t partially strong, he has his height going for him. The pumpkin is going to be big. 

Virgil follows Logan and Patton instead. Logan is much more hands on with pumpkins, sitting them up and frowning at them, checking to see if they stand without falling over, and if there would be a good surface for carving. 

Patton is much more visual, pointing out all the different pumpkins in ranging shapes and sizes. Eventually, he lets out a gasp as he sees a yellow one and immediately announces that’s the pumpkin he’s going to get.

“Check it over first,” Logan suggests even as Patton is already on the ground and reaching for the stem to break it off. Luckily enough, the pumpkin seems to be fine, and it’s only slightly lopsided when sitting up.

Logan takes the pumpkin as Virgil helps Patton up off the ground and they continue on.

Logan finds one that he’s satisfied with soon enough. It’s perfectly round and sits nicely on the ground. Virgil’s pretty sure this is the pumpkin they use in promotional pictures it seems so well put together. Virgil’s surprised plants can even grow things like that.

They carry on, Roman rejoining them with an absolutely massive pumpkin as Virgil is taking the stem off a long narrow one he found. It’s an odd shape, but should work well with the idea he has for carving.

They wander away from the pumpkin patch as a group, heading towards the front to pay.

As they leave the patch and enter the area of pre-picked pumpkins, Virgil quickly selects two mini ones. He carries one himself before holding the other out to Trixie.

“Take it nice. Gentle,” he tells her, and she carefully takes the pumpkin in her mouth, carrying it herself to the register. Kit looks curiously over from where he’s still wrapped up in Logan’s arms.

“You get one too Kit,” Logan tells him, “You can have yours at home, as long as you don’t eat it. Alright?”

Kit snuffles and buries further into Logan while letting out a large yawn. Virgil can’t help but agree with his actions completely. The outing has been fun, but Virgil’s social meter is running low. 

They purchase the pumpkins, and leave the pumpkin patch, travelling towards their car when Logan stops. The three of them halt around him.

Virgil turns to him, about to ask why he stopped when he sees the sight in his arms.

Kit, in Logan’s arms, lying on his back, completely splayed out with head and limbs flailing, completely fast asleep.

“Awww,” Patton coos.

“He’s so small,” Roman marvels, “And oh! Look at his little toes.”

Virgil does, seeing the little beans flail a bit as Kit most likely dreams. It’s the cutest little movement.

“He’s tired,” Logan says, “It’s been a long day.”

Yeah. Yeah it has. A long day, but a good one. 

“Let’s go home,” Virgil says.

He gets three versions of agreement, and they carry on, together.

~~~

Taglist Below

-message me to be added or removed-

@mewithanie @eddies-spaghetti @lemonyellowlogic @savioursailor @goldteethandacurseforthistown @you-betcha-weirdo @gattonero17

#lamp #calm #ts patton #ts virgil #ts roman #ts logan #fluff #pumpkin patch #no hurt #colupdate #jksf

[imaginewitchsheart]

Hiya! Could I request Claire and the boys with a autistic s/o 👉👈 sorry if this seems a little weird but I'm curious 👉👈

As someone who is on the Autistic spectrum, I felt the need to write this one personally. Please don’t feel embarrassed at all, I’m glad I was able to write a set of head canons for this considering my own position on the spectrum. I’ll be answering two prompts in one here. The old request was an S/O with Autism on a date with the boys and Claire. I do hope you enjoy.~

Wilardo:

The two of you are out and about. Wil decided to take you to a botanical     garden and specifically over to a vast section of flowers that you were     quite interested in.

You happen to see one of your favorite subspecies of flower and begin to flap your hands.

Wil always found your little quirks endearing so any time he noticed you     stimming in a positive manner he couldn’t help but crack a subtle smile in your direction

His good mood is interrupted however when he notices a group of passerbys begin to point and laugh.

Tears start to brim in your eyes as your stimming is interrupted and you hide behind Wilardo, utterly embarrassed due to the people poking fun at you.

Wilardo is silently fuming but he was reluctant to leave you since you were going into a crisis mode.

Instead he pats your head briefly before calling out, “Hey. Mind your own business or go somewhere else. I know the owner of this garden and they’d gladly kick you out with a simple word from me.”

He flashes a smug triumphant grin in their direction. 

The ableists whine like the little snow flakes they are and leave.

Wilardo then turned his attention to you, his tone softening. 

“Come with me.”

He gently takes your hand and leads you to a secluded part of the garden that had been roped off. 

He continues to lead you even further inside, weaving through a rose hedge maze.

Roses were another flower you enjoyed so you focused on them as the two of you walked. 

When you both reached the center of the maze there were several cherry blossom trees cusping over a large koi pond. 

The two of you sit in a small wood fixture that was suspended partially over the pond. 

He had brought you here mostly due to how easily overstimulated you could get especially while in crisis mode.

You nod, letting your leg bounce so you could stim.

“Just because they said those things. Doesn’t mean I’ll even judge you for stimming, [Y/N].”

You nod eagerly and scoot closer to him while the two of you watch the swimming Koi.

“Next time I see ‘em though I’ll kick their teeth in.~” He quipped at you     with a grin.

Sirius:

He had brought you both to one of those public tea rooms.

Usually the lavender was the type to enjoy such pleasantries with you at home.

But regardless of spoiling you himself with his own skills he was not one to avoid spending atleast some of his earnings on his partner.

So as a change of pace he brought you out today.

And as nervous as he often was with going out into public, he felt confidence when bringing you.

Sirius held great admiration towards you, namely your ability to be yourself even considering how unique you were.

Which is why when hearing an odd comment from the member of the wait staff who had been attending you both his softer expression with you hardened.

Turning to the waiter in question, he stood.

And this was deemed odd considering Sirius was not one to make a scene in public. Perhaps at home should something happen but never when the two of you were out.

With a smile of which that you could only assume put the waiter in his place, Sirius stated this. “I do believe I’ll have a word with your store owner. Now.”

The waiter froze, attempting to mumble protests but Sirius was having none of it. “ I don’t believe I asked for your input on the matter, Did I? No I believe you over extended that yourself a moment ago when saying what you did about my partner. Now. If you don’t bring your store owner to me I’ll gladly find them myself. Considering I’m a regular and we know eachother quite well.”

 Defeated, the waiter scurried off and into the back prep room.

Neither of you saw him again for the rest of that evening but instead you were both attended to by the store owner themselves.

They had set down one of those slow rise sweet shaped stim toys for you after having taken your order.

The rest of the afternoon was lovely, and the store owner had been sure to speak in length to Sirius concerning proper preparations for you both next time.

 And you may have heard correctly but the earlier waiter seemed to have been dismissed from service entirely.

You talked about how much fun you had to Sirius on the way home.

Info dumping about the little things and that you liked that place because it wasn’t loud!

You had also explained again that most time you couldn’t go out for public outings since it was so loud.

Sirius had known your reasonings but listened again none the less.

Upon returning home the two of you sat in the library and picked out a few books.

Sirius would put off his duties for the day just abit longer in favor of some more time with you.

Noel:

He often struggled with the idea of public dates, namely because of how many would give him attention and it would detract from his time with you.

So today Noel had decided to bring you to a star gazing observatory.

You both arrived late in the evening, not many people were here other than the occasional maintenance staff for the equipment and the building itself.

The building itself was beautiful.

After only entering in the bottom floor you were enamored with all the stars littering the walls and ceilings.

You stimmed with your hands as you moved from one location to another.

The blonde only smiled, remembering a place like this one himself.

When his mom was still around, she’d wisp them both away to an observatory that she’d privately reserve just for her, and her son.

Noel would fall asleep in her lap on these visits while she would point out the constellations and talk about star names that would make up each constellation.

He had retained a lot of this knowledge from both hearing it and brushing up on it himself later in life by reading those same books again.

Approaching your side, he directed your attention to some of the mimicked constellations on the ceiling.

Softly stating their names and which stars made up each one.

Your eyes lit up, listening to him talk. He knew so much and it amazed you!

He continued his explanations as the two of you ascended the narrow spiral stair case to the tower itself.

Helping you to the top, he then lingered by the telescope and gestured for you to come closer.

“ Y/N I want you to look through the lens. “

Your head tilts but you do so anyway.

Shoulders dropping as countless numbers of stars dance across your vision.

You pull back and stare at him, mouth agape.

Noel only smiles, laughing softly once before encouraging you again. “Go on. It’s ok. Look as much as you like!”

It wasn’t often that Noel could share his passion like this with another.

In fact it was difficult for him to downplay his own interest like this in favor of feeling he may scare you off.

But to be proven wrong, it had his chest swell, looking at you like this now.

Perhaps he could share more with you than he had first imagined.

Ashe:

As boyfriends go, Ashe was protective, to put it lightly.

It wasn’t that he was possessive, no.

He was just paranoid when it came to not being in charge of certain situations.

You equated this to his trauma and did your best to be understanding of his situation

And you both have been quite good with communication especially when you felt he was being too cautious.

So after a lengthy discussion, Ashe caves and takes you somewhere he had often wanted to.

The two of you arrive at this small charming little café off the side of town.

Pastries, sweets, sandwiches, teas and even hand crafted sweet drinks were a specialty here.

The expanse of the menu was nearly overwhelming.

Ashe having expected this, had spoken to the wait staff ahead of time in asking to be seated in one of the quieter corners and to be given more time to look things over.

Though Ashe would often get the same thing from this location,he didn’t want you to feel pressured or rushed.

You were aware of your boyfriends hobbies so you asked him about the menu, he gave his own recommendations as well as stating which items he could and would make for you at home should you ever ask.

You settle on a softer mousse cake, and lavender milk tea.

Ashe orders a strawberry mousse cake for himself, and hibiscus tea.

When yours arrives, you try a bite and melt in place, eyes lit up as you simply stare at it.

Ashe laughs softly, “My my, Y/N is it truly that amazing?”

He made a mental note to make some for you himself at a later date.

Ashe enjoyed making sweets and meals for you, and as nice as it was to take you out.

There was a sense of pride for him with being able to make such things for you completely by himself.

On the way home you chattered about the cake and about how cute the location was.

All Ashe could do was watch your smile.

There was, a bittersweet nostalgia present here.

But he chose to keep it to himself.

For perhaps one day he’d choose to stop burying it.

Claire:

As bubbly as Claire was, she was often focused on doing things you wanted to do.

You both played off of each other well considering you both had sensory stims.

So, Claire understood you best or atleast that’s what you felt.

She took your hand and you both walked together to the farmers market.

She wanted to get some ingredients to bake with you today but you had no idea that she was bringing you here for another reason as well.

You pause and perk up once you both reach one of the corners of the market.

A petting zoo. There were so many animals, bunnies, small puppies and kittens, chickens, llamas, goats, and even a few baby calves.

You bounce in place turning to her and giving her the largest pair of puppy eyes you could manage.

Claire laughs and rubs your shoulder, “I didn’t only bring you here to shop! Let’s go see the new friends we can meet, ok?”

You throw both your hands up briefly and do a little skip as you take her hand and bring her along with you.

You both enter the small little zoo and you fixate on the bunnies.

There were so many and most all of them were bundled on top of each other in one corner of the open top enclosure.

They seemed to be sleeping so instead of interrupting you only chose to try to count how many were there sleeping.

Hopping from each enclosure, you’d either gently pat some of the animals there or you’d count all the ones that were sleeping.

A high pitched meow resonated near you and you looked down to see this tiny black kitten curling up on your foot.

Flapping your hands, you rub at your eyes briefly so not to cry over how cute it is before scooping it up.

You turn to Claire and stick out your lip.

She pauses and says, “Oh! That ones, cute-“

Then the realization resonates, “Ooooh, you want to bring it back with us huh?”

You nod, having gone non verbal. You gently squish the kitten in both of your arms as it chooses to nap there.

“Hm….ok!” Claire steps aside to talk to the owner and after some brief haggling you both walk away with a new small friend.

Later the two of you arrive home and you’re glued to the little fuzzball for the rest of the evening in between helping Claire with dinner and dessert.

~Mod Sirius

#Witch's Heart #Claire Elford #Wilardo Adler #Sirius Gibson #Noel Levine #Ashe Bradley #Actually Autistic #I put that tag because yes this writer is autistic #Mod Sirius #Headcanon #Anonymous

[hunter-the-sad-skeleton]

Darkwing Duck Fanfic Chapter 2

Summary: “Hunter and Bushroot learn more about each other. But at    what cost?”

Warnings: Implied swearing, implied abuse, implied depression, self deprecation, implied self-harm, stim shaming, ask to tag.

Final word count: 4757

Tag list:(Feel free to ask to be added or removed!) @pidayforpi

Chapter two “Full disclosure, I am a monster!”

Hunter woke up early, almost sneaking out before remembering she hadn’t gotten the new passcode for the door yet. Hunter looked around for another exit, eventually sneaking out through a sewer grate. Getting into hiding, Hunter oriented herself, eventually pinpointing where she was in the city. Hunter remembered the city layout, reaching into her backpack and pulling out a list and her wallet. Taking a deep breath, Hunter walked off to the flower shop to replace the flowers she’d lost the night prior.

Hunter read the flower shop’s sign, boasting bright, colorful letters saying “Flora’s flowers and bouquets!”. Hunter took a deep breath, walking in, trying to occupy as little space as possible, despite the shop being relatively empty. “Can I help y’all?” A voice asked from behind Hunter.

“O-O-Oh, I-I-I-I-I uh….” Hunter stammered, fumbling for her list. “Flowers…?” Hunter asked sheepishly.

“We have those in excess, or else we wouldn’t be in business right now!” She joked.

“Duh! Sorry, don’t people well…” Hunter apologized.

“Oh, don’t worry hun, you’re fine!” She chuckled.

“I, uh, ooh…” Hunter stammered.

“I’m Flora, this little shop’s owner!” Flora said, holding her hand out.

Hunter drew back a bit, but eventually took her hand in a handshake. “I...H...n...Hunter…!” Hunter stammered.

“Hunter, huh? What’re ya lookin’ to pick?” Flora asked.

Hunter stumbled to look at her list, listing off a few flowers. “Do ya have any of those…?” Hunter asked sheepishly.

“Yeah, we have Roses, Chrysanthemums, Carnations, Hydrangeas, Daffodils, and gardenias!” Flora nodded.

“Where might they be…?” Hunter asked nervously.

“Right this way, Hunter!” Flora said, gesturing for her to follow.

“Okay..!” Hunter nodded, following sheepishly.

“Say, do ya happen to know Elmo Sputterspark by any chance?” Flora asked, grabbing the flowers Hunter requested.

Hunter froze, weighing her options. She couldn’t say she knew him through the fearsome five! “Uh….I...did, in like, High School.” Hunter stammered.

“I thought as much; ya have some of the same mannerisms as him!” Flora beamed. “You’re nervous around people, ya stumble over your words, ya fidget, I sorta figured you ‘n’ him knew each other!” Flora said, finishing up the bouquet, walking over to the counter, Hunter following behind, pulling her wallet out to pay for it.

“How much?” Hunter asked.

“$25.89, Hun!” Flora said.

Hunter nodded, paying for the flowers.

“Have a good day, hun!” Flora said, waving goodbye as Hunter left.

Hunter walked out, putting the flowers safely in her backpack and getting ready to head home. “I’m telling you, Gosalyn, flowers are going to make home seem more homey!” Drake sighed. Hunter moved out of the way, letting the three walk inside.

“Yeah, yeah-wait, Dad, did you see that?” Gosalyn asked, realizing that Hunter was outside.

“See what? You trying to get out of an errand?” Drake asked sarcastically.

“No, Dad! I saw one of the Fearsome Five outside the store!” Gosalyn protested.

“Yeah, yeah, that’s nice hon-WAIT WHAT?!?” Drake gasped.

“Yeah, I saw Hunter outside putting something in her backpack!” Gosalyn explained.

“No doubt stolen goods! Come on, crew! Home decor can wait!” Drake said, walking back out.

Hunter smiled softly, making sure the flowers were safe inside her backpack. “I hope he likes ‘em…! I picked ‘em out just for him!” Hunter smiled softly.

“I AM THE TERROR THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT!!” A voice announced, instantly filling Hunter with dread.

“Oh, come ON!!” Hunter groaned.

“I AM THE DANDELIONS YOU CAN’T REMOVE FROM THE GARDEN OF CRIME!!” Darkwing continued, Hunter rolling her eyes.

“I AM DARKWIIING DUCK!!” Darkwing finished.

“Look dude, I ain’t here to cause trouble; I’m JUST getting flowers for my friend.” Hunter scoffed.

“Getting in ILLEGAL ways, I’m certain!” Darkwing announced.

“Nah. Paid legally.” Hunter shrugged.

“As I-wait what?” Darkwing asked, confused.

“I. PAID. LEGALLY. FOR. THESE. FLOWERS. SIR.” Hunter annunciated.

Darkwing shook his head. “Surely not, villain!” Darkwing announced dramatically.

“Look, if ya want evidence, ask Flora inside, arright? I have somewhere to be.” Hunter scoffed.

“Exactly!” Darkwing said, grappling onto a nearby object and preparing to swing towards Hunter. “Behind bars!” Darkwing finished, swinging over and knocking Hunter over.

“Ow!!” Hunter yelped, holding her left arm as she landed on it. “Why you little-” Hunter started before getting decked in the face. “What the Helenium, Cactus?!?” Hunter snapped, cradling her arm.

“Did you just swear in PLANT NAMES?!” Darkwing gawked.

“What the FICUS did you just say to me, you Moluccella?!” Hunter snapped.

“Okay, this is just getting weird.” Darkwing groaned, pulling out his gas gun. “Suck gas, evildoer!” Darkwing announced, firing before Hunter could cover her beak.

“Hey!! Kaff kaff!!” Hunter coughed. Darkwing saw his opportunity, taking it and landing as many hits on her as he could.

“Your petal pilfering is past its prime, you puny problematic private parasite!” Darkwing smirked.

Hunter looked up, seeing that the flowers fell out of her backpack and were once again, destroyed in the skirmish. “Daisy it!!” Hunter growled. “I was SO CLOSE this time!!” Hunter lamented.

“You’re finished!” Darkwing announced.

“No…..I’m not.” Hunter growled. Hunter slowly got up, picking up her backpack and standing up straight before collapsing onto one knee. “FAGUS!!!” Hunter yelped, dropping her backpack and practically collapsing.

“Whoa, what happened there?” Launchpad asked, confused.

“I...Don’t know, LP.” Darkwing shrugged.

“I know what it is!” Gosalyn said, looking around in the Ratcatcher for something.

Hunter tried standing up again, collapsing again as pain shot through her leg. Hunter tensed up as Gosalyn walked over with a small suitcase. “What are you doing?” Hunter asked suspiciously.

Gosalyn held up the small suitcase showing that it was a first-aid kit. “I’m not gonna hurt ya, even if you’re a bad guy. When someone’s hurt, they’re hurt, and I highly doubt ya have health insurance.” Gosalyn explained.

Hunter remained cautious, Darkwing pulling Gosalyn away. “Gos, what are you doing? She’s a VILLAIN.” Darkwing lectured.

“Darkwing, she’s HURT! You’re supposed to help people!” Gosalyn scolded.

“UNless they are a VILLAIN. Which she IS.” Darkwing scolded.

Gosalyn looked between Darkwing and Hunter, noticing how badly Hunter’s leg looked. “Darkwing…” Gosalyn whined.

“I don’t wanna hear ANY OF IT, young lady, back into the Ratcatcher with you.” Darkwing warned.

Gosalyn huffed, stomping over to the Ratcatcher and plopping down inside it. Darkwing turned to look at Hunter. “As for you, VILLAIN, you’re coming with me.” Darkwing scowled.

Hunter shook her head, getting up and almost collapsing again, picking her backpack up and hobbling back to the hideout. “Come on, LP, let’s-” Darkwing started.

“DW, come on, she’s hurt! Let’s leave her be!” Launchpad said.

“What!? You too?!?” Darkwing bawked.

“Yeah, DW. Ya may be a hero, but a true hero knows when to leave things alone!” Launchpad advised.

Darkwing grumbled to himself, eventually giving in. “FINE! I’ll leave her alone!” Darkwing sighed heavily.

Hunter hobbled back to the hideout, despite the sheer pain shooting through her leg. Hunter sat down on a bench near the hideout, resting for a bit. “Fagus, my leg hurts…” Hunter whimpered. Hunter looked down at the water below her, tearing up at what she saw; a complete and utter FAILURE. She couldn’t even get FLOWERS properly. What made her think she could work alongside Bushroot and the others? Hunter rubbed the tears away, only for them to be replaced tenfold.

Before she knew it, she was sobbing heavily, not in the right mindset to pay attention to her surroundings if anyone was around or watching. Hunter hiccuped, blowing her beak in her hoodie. “Why am I such a failure…?!” Hunter hiccuped, beating herself up. Hunter sniffled, wiping her eyes again.

Hunter froze, hearing a familiar sound; tiny leaf-paws hitting the ground. She perked up slightly, but the happiness was gone as soon as she realized that Bushroot would most likely be disappointed in her for sneaking out again. Hunter felt something bump against her leg, but didn’t respond, she didn’t have enough energy to. Hunter heard something whine; she didn’t respond. She didn’t have enough energy to.

Hunter jumped slightly as she felt something plop into her lap, looking down at Spike’s head looking up at her. Hunter teared up, gently grabbing Spike and pulling him into a hug, sobbing heavily. “I’m so sorry-hee-hee, Spi-hi-hi-hiiike!!!” Hunter sobbed, hugging Spike tightly.

Spike whined, gently nuzzling Hunter in an attempt to make her feel better. Hunter sniffled, slowly starting to calm down. “Oh! Spike! You found her! Good work, boy!” Bushroot sighed in relief, speeding over.

Hunter hiccuped, standing up and struggling to make eye contact. After a few moments of silence, Hunter hugged Bushroot, apologizing heavily. “Hey now, it’s okay, I was just worried is all! You didn’t leave a note or anything!” Bushroot assured, patting her on the head. Hunter looked up, worry and sadness wrought all over her face.

“Y-You’re not mad at me…?” Hunter asked sadly.

“Oh goodness no! I typically never get mad! Especially over something as little as this!” Bushroot smiled softly.

“Bushy, I’m gonna cry again…!” Hunter chuckled dryly.

“That’s okay, get it all out!” Bushroot nodded, not getting that Hunter was sort of joking. Hunter chuckled, eventually breaking out laughing. “There’s that sound I like to hear!” Bushroot beamed.

Hunter went to stand alone, but collapsed back onto the bench, yelping in pain as pain shot through her leg. “OW!!!” Hunter yelped, tearing up again.

“O-O-O-O-O-Oh my goodness, are you alright?” Bushroot asked, rushing to her side.

“L-Leg…” Hunter whimpered, tears running down her face again.

“Wh-What happened?” Bushroot asked.

“Dorkwing….” Hunter grumbled, forcing herself back up and ignoring the pain shooting through her leg, not allowing herself to give up until she was somewhere safe.

“How did you even get out? I didn’t tell you the new door passcode, did I?” Bushroot asked, staying close by just in case Hunter collapsed again.

“There was a sewer grate a little whiles away that I snuck out through.” Hunter explained.

Bushroot sighed heavily. “I know you probably had a good reason, but I feel...a little...Hurt,” Hunter’s heart HURT hearing that. “That you sneak out so often.” Bushroot lamented. Bushroot stopped Hunter, making eye contact. “You can talk to me.” Bushroot started.

“Did I do something wrong?” Bushroot asked sadly. Hunter’s heart shattered.

“N-No-N-No! Not at all, Reggie! I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I promise!” Hunter stammered, breaking eye contact on accident as anxiety started settling in.

“.....I did, didn’t I…?” Bushroot asked, remembering that breaking eye contact typically meant the other party was lying.

Hunter stumbled for words, unsure of what to say. She couldn’t tell him why she snuck out, that would ruin the surprise for him! She didn’t wanna do that! “A-Any plans for the day, B-Bushroot?” Hunter asked sheepishly.

“No, not really. I’m...not really feeling up to it today.” Bushroot sighed.

“A-Are ya sure…?” Hunter asked gently.

“Yeah, pretty sure.” Bushroot said, raising an eyebrow.

“Maybe ya just need to get out there…!” Hunter said, smiling nervously.

“Hunter. NO.” Bushroot warned, frowning slightly.

“I mean, it always makes me feel better…!” Hunter urged gently.

“N. O. NO.” Bushroot warned darkly.

Hunter, still ignoring the pain in her leg, tried pushing Bushroot away from the hideout. “C-Come on, bud…!” Hunter urged.

“Hunter, NO. Why are you being so WEIRD recently?!” Bushroot asked.

“I-I just wanna help ya out, Bushroot! You help me out, I wanna return the favor!” Hunter explained.

“Hunter, stop it.” Bushroot grumbled.

“Come on, Bushroot, one crime and you’ll be back in a good mood…!” Hunter said sadly.

“Hunter, I said NO. Give it a rest.” Bushroot warned.

“Bushroot, please…!” Hunter whimpered.

“Hunter, something’s going on, and I, quite frankly, want to know WHAT. Now SPILL.” Bushroot growled.

Hunter whimpered, biting the bullet and pulling the long past dead flowers out of her backpack. “............Dipwing screwed it up...AGAIN.” Hunter whimpered.

Bushroot sighed, running his hands through his petals. “You went off to grab flowers AGAIN?” Bushroot asked, trying to stay calm.

Hunter grimaced, tensing up. “I know it’s stupid and I KNOW I should give up on it, but it’s so important to me that I do it and….” Hunter took a deep breath, calming down. “And...I wanna prove that I can get tasks done, if I put myself to them.” Hunter finished, making eye contact again.

Bushroot froze, all past thoughts of anger and frustration gone and replaced with understanding and sympathy. “Why don’t you ask me for them?” Bushroot asked.

Hunter shook her head. “No, I wanna show I can perform simple tasks like going to the flower shop to buy flowers.” Hunter declined.

Bushroot hummed, holding his chin in thought. “I can see how I’m feeling later, but I’m not promising anything.” Bushroot said.

“Gotcha, Bushroot!” Hunter nodded.

“Good. And Hunter?” Bushroot asked.

“Yeah, Bushroot?” Hunter asked.

“Go back to calling me Reggie, it feels weird hearing you call me Bushroot.” Bushroot said, laughing gently.

Hunter sighed in relief. “Okay, Reggie.” Hunter said, smiling tiredly. Bushroot ruffled Hunter’s feathers, earning a squeak of protest as Hunter tried swatting his hand away.

“Sorry if I got a little heated there, it just hurts is all…” Bushroot apologized. Bushroot could have sworn he saw Hunter’s smile drop for a moment, but when he looked again, she was still smiling. Weird.

(Later, in a hidden room in the hideout.)

Hunter shoved herself in a corner, Anxiety, Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, and self hatred all hitting at once in an all-out-assault on her psyche. If this were any other occasion, she would have asked Bushroot for his help, but that’s any other occasion. Bushroot was the reason Hunter’s psyche was being destroyed by itself.

Hunter hadn’t had an anxiety attack this bad in ages, why was it so bad now? She wanted to ask for help, but she’d already inconvenienced Bushroot once, she didn’t want to do it again. Even if she was on the brink of blacking out.

Hunter tried stilling her breathing, but only made her hyperventilating worse, Hunter falling forward onto her hands and knees, gasping desperately for breath. Hunter mentally screamed at herself to call out for Bushroot, but nothing more than choked breathes were heard.

Tears rolled down Hunter’s face. Why’d she have to be so selfish?! Why couldn’t she just let it go?! Hunter coughed and wheezed as she tried to calm down, but her breathing didn’t improve. She noticed her vision start to go blurry and her panic only furthered.

After a while, Hunter’s arms and legs gave out and she fell to the floor, blacked out cold.

(Elsewhere.)

Spike looked around the room, whining as he noticed Hunter wasn’t in the room with them. “What’s the matter, Spike?” Bushroot asked, looking over from his experiment. Spike whined, gesturing that Hunter wasn’t in the room.

“Hmm...that is odd and concerning…” Bushroot hummed. Spike whined, worried about her disappearance. “She probably isn’t outside...Spike, go look around for her, would you?” Bushroot asked. Spike nodded, setting off to find Hunter.

(With Spike)

Spike sniffed around, picking up Hunter’s scent quickly. Picking up Hunter’s scent, Spike sped up, following the scent to a dark, hidden room, whining before going in and finding Hunter blacked out.

(With Bushroot)

Bushroot perked up at hearing a far off barking, but shrugged it off as Spike finding a butterfly or something. “Spike, stay focused!” Bushroot scolded.

The barks kept going, but seemed more panicked than distracted. “Spike, calm down!” Bushroot called. Bushroot grew worried as the barks were more frantic and set everything he was holding down to go run over to Spike to see what the problem was.

“Spike, what’s happened that’s causing you to cause such a ruckus?” Bushroot asked, walking in. As soon as Bushroot saw what was in the room, he froze dead in his tracks. He held onto the doorframe to remain standing, shock trailing through his cells.

“Sp...Sp...Spike…? What happened…?” Bushroot asked, legs slowly moving him closer. Spike whined, trying to wake Hunter up, but not succeeding. Bushroot collapsed next to Hunter, taking her pulse. He sighed in relief; something was still there.

Bushroot assessed the situation, deducting that she just had a really bad Anxiety attack and passed out due to lack of oxygen.  Bushroot whistled for some of his smaller trees to come into the room so Hunter could regain oxygen quickly.

After a while, Hunter eventually shifted, Bushroot feeling hope well up in his chest. Thank goodness she was okay. “Mm…” Hunter groaned, rubbing the extra sleep from her eyes.

“You’re okay!” Bushroot exclaimed, wrapping his arms around Hunter in a tight squeeze of a hug. Hunter wheezed as the air was squeezed out of her, but quickly gained it back.

“R-Reggie…?” Hunter peeped.

“Are you okay? Do you need anything? Water? Food? Backpack? Spike? Flowers? Notebook?” Bushroot asked, worried that his friend may have gotten hurt.

Hunter was astonished; after everything, he still wanted to be friends with her? “Reggie...I….” Hunter stammered. Hunter rubbed her head where she landed when she fell. “Ow…” Hunter grimaced.

“Hmm...looks like it’s bruised...Hold on, I think I have some Arnica around here somewhere…” Bushroot hummed. As Bushroot thought, an Arnica bush hopped up to him. “Oh! Why, thank you!” Bushroot smiled at the bush, making an ointment for the bruise.

“Wow...You’re a real plant whisperer…” Hunter gawked. Bushroot gave Hunter a look like ‘bud, really?’

“I should hope so,” Bushroot started, rubbing some of the concoction on the bruise. “I AM a plant duck hybrid after all.” Bushroot finished, wrapping the bruise so it could be covered until it was fully gone. “There we go! Should clear up in a fairly good time frame!” Bushroot smiled gently.

Hunter smiled back, saying a silent thank you. “Just one question though…” Bushroot started, Hunter’s heart dropping. “I know you approved us being Best Friends Forever and all, but…” Bushroot sighed.

“Why didn’t you ask me for help?” Bushroot asked.

Hunter grimaced. “Before you say ‘I didn’t wanna burden you, I’ve already bothered you once today’, I don’t care about that. We’re Best Friends Forever...Best Friends help each other out more than once a day. Be as blunt as you need for explanation.” Bushroot said sternly.

“I…...I felt super guilty about earlier today…” Hunter admitted.

“What? Why?” Bushroot asked, gobsmacked.

“Because….B...Because...I hurt you...Not physically, but...emotionally...That’s not a thing Best Friends Forevers do…” Hunter frowned.

“Hunter..” Bushroot gawked.

“When you said I hurt you, I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I felt so horrible…! I-I-I-I felt like I was the worst person on earth…! I felt like scum…! I felt less than scum, I felt like a worthless fungal parasite…!” Hunter frowned.

Bushroot frowned, sympathy washing over him. “I’m sorry I hurt you, I felt SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO bad afterwards that I holed up here to deal with my whole Anxiety attack cause I didn’t wanna bug you again…!” Hunter rambled. Hunter continued rambling, only to stop when Bushroot put a hand on her shoulder, turning her to face him.

“Hunter Artemis Puddles, you are one of the most brilliant people I have ever met. I understand not wanting to bother me, really, I do! But when it’s something this horrible, it’s not a bother at all. We’re Best Friends Forever. We’re here for each other. Through thick and thin, through hardships big and small. We can be there for each other through it all.” Bushroot said seriously.

“R...Really…?” Hunter asked.

Bushroot nodded. “Hm...You mentioned your memory works better with song...How about a little melody to remember?” Bushroot asked.

“Nah, dude, I can’t sing!” Hunter said shyly.

“Well, I can, if you would like.” Bushroot informed.

“O….Okay…!” Hunter nodded. Bushroot took a deep breath, already thinking up lyrics.

“Best Friends Forever, bothersome never...shoulder to cry on, here together to get by on...Thick and thin, hardships big, hardships small, together we can make it through it all…~!” Bushroot hummed.

Hunter hummed along, thinking up a beat. “Hmm…” Hunter hummed. Bushroot raised an eyebrow in confusion. “Best Friends Forever, you’re my first one ever...All alone I feel dry as bone, but with you I feel brand new….~!” Hunter added.

“Wowza, you’re good at this!” Bushroot smiled.

“Oh, no, I’m-I’m really not!” Hunter blushed.

“I think it’s a lovely little melody!” Bushroot nodded.

“Yeah, short, sweet, and to the point!” Hunter nodded.

“You know, you said you can’t sing, but you sang pretty well!” Bushroot complemented.

Hunter chuckled shyly, rubbing the back of her neck. “Aww...You too..!” Hunter chortled.

Bushroot chuckled, mood lighting up.

Hours passed and the two eventually decided to spend the night just planning instead of doing stuff.

“By the way, Hunter,” Bushroot started, pausing the planning. “Do you know what those flowers you picked up meant?” Bushroot asked.

Hunter froze. “They...look...Pretty…?” Hunter lied.

Bushroot chuckled. “No, no, no! They have meaning! Chrysanthemums symbolize happiness, longevity, joy, and loyalty, light red Carnations symbolize admiration, white Gardenias symbolize purity and gentleness, Daffodils symbolize rebirth and new beginnings, and purple hydrangeas symbolize a desire to deeply understand someone!” Bushroot explained.

“O-Oh…! I just thought they looked pretty..!” Hunter lied.

“Oh, they do! And then the roses you picked yesterday, dark pink roses, symbolize thankfulness for appreciation!” Bushroot added.

“Huh…” Hunter hummed, despite knowing this already.

“Oh! Oh, oh, oh! If you wanna show someone admiration, just give them a good old fashioned Camellia! Those babies mean love, affection AND admiration!” Bushroot rambled.

“Really?” Hunter gasped, humoring the other duck, seeing as he listened to her for a good portion of the day.

“Oh yes, yes, yes! And not to mention they’re beautiful, too!” Bushroot nodded eagerly.

Hunter smiled softly, listening to him infodump about plants and flowers and the symbolism some of them had. “What’s your favorite flower, Hunter?” Bushroot asked.

Hunter was taken back by the sudden question. Someone wanted to know more about her? Normally, she never was able to hold a conversation! “Well, uh, I, uh...I like violets and bluebells…” Hunter said shyly.

“Ah! Some good picks!” Bushroot beamed. “Those two have WONDERFUL meanings!” Bushroot nodded.

“What do they mean?” Hunter asked.

“Well, Violets symbolize truth and loyalty while Bluebells symbolize gratitude and humanity! But, they could ALSO symbolize constancy and everlasting love!” Bushroot informed eagerly.

Hunter’s eyes sparkled like sapphires left out in the rain as the sun came out, sunlight bouncing around on each cut. “Whoa…” Hunter gawked.

“Sorry, have I been rambling too much?” Bushroot asked nervously. Hunter shook her head.

“No, no, no! This is interesting to me! You’re WAAAY better than my english teacher was with teaching me this stuff!” Hunter explained.

“Oh, really?” Bushroot asked, surprised.

“Yeah! Like, he was nice ‘n’ all, but nothing he taught me stuck with me for dirt!” Hunter chuckled.

“Oh my!” Bushroot smiled softly. “Would...Would you mind if I rambled for a little bit longer? Sorry, it’s just I never really get to talk to anyone about this stuff and I don’t know what to do with the information and-” Bushroot worried.

“Reginald, I’d love to hear you ramble more about plants! You listened to me, why don’t I do the same?” Hunter asked gently.

Bushroot’s eyes sparkled with joy, excited that he could talk about plants as much as he wanted-and someone would LISTEN to him! “Well, if you’re so sure…!” Bushroot grinned, vibrating in excitement.

Hunter smiled softly as Bushroot launched into an excited ramble about plants, flora, whatever plant crossed his mind. Hunter felt something she hadn’t felt in ages. She felt...Genuinely happy. And all it took was two days of failure, an Anxiety, Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, and Panic attack, a leg injury, a mutant-no, a duck, and a cute venus flytrap that had a good sense of smell.

But even so...Something was still in the back of her mind. Something was telling her that she didn’t deserve this, that she was too horrible to be happy. Others were in worse straits than her, why should SHE be happy?

Hunter snapped back to reality, paying attention to Bushroot again, hoping she didn’t miss much. Hunter smiled again, glad that Bushroot didn’t notice she spaced out for a bit there. “Wow, that felt...Amazing!!” Bushroot squealed, hopping in place.

Hunter chuckled, a genuine smile crossing her face. “Oh! Look at that! You’re happy too!” Bushroot beamed.

Hunter froze a moment, realizing that he was right. She felt her face for a moment. He...He was right. The smile...It wasn’t forced! It was a real smile! She felt a rush of energy and-”no, stop, stop flapping, that’s weird, people are going to laugh at you.” Hunter’s mind screamed.

Hunter froze, shoving her hands into her hoodie pockets and mumbling out a ‘sorry’.

“What for? That was adorable!” Bushroot smiled.

Hunter had to do a double take. “Really? It’s not...Weird?” Hunter asked.

“No, of course not! If anything, it adds to my understanding of you!” Bushroot said.

Hunter chuckled dryly. “C-Can I…?” Hunter trailed off. Bushroot nodded.

“Yes indeedy!” Bushroot nodded.

Hunter squealed, flapping to get the extra stim energy out. Eventually, Hunter got it all out and her smile was wider than before.

“Aw...You’re happy! And you thought today was a bad day!” Bushroot joked.

Hunter didn’t know why, she didn’t know how, but she just...Burst out laughing. She had no reason to, she just...felt like it. “Why do I feel so fuzzy?” Hunter laughed.

“Oh! You’d be feeling ‘Euphoria’!” Bushroot explained.

“Euphowhat?” Hunter asked.

“Euphoria! It’s a state of feeling intense excitement or joy!” Bushroot explained.

“Huh?” Hunter asked, confused.

“Basically, you feel really happy!” Bushroot simplified.

Hunter squeaked, eyes brighter than earlier. “It’s so weird how you make me feel so...so..s-so…” Hunter stammered.

“At peace? Happy?” Bushroot asked.

“Yeah! Why is that?” Hunter asked.

“Well, it could be that the excess of trees is helping to clear your mind and make it easier for endorphins to pass into your mind!” Bushroot suggested.

“What…?” Hunter trailed off.

“The extra air is making you think clearly, so you are able to feel happiness easier!” Bushroot explained.

“Oooh!” Hunter drawled. “I get it!” Hunter nodded.

Bushroot chuckled, finding the sudden mood shift from Hunter adorable. “Why don’t I see ya this happy often?” Bushroot asked innocently.

Hunter hid a flinch, returning to how she was acting. “Oh, I dunno! Maybe I’m just having a good day or something!” Hunter grinned. Bushroot nodded, unaware of the reaction Hunter had.

“You should Smile more.” Hunter’s brain lectured. “Frowning brings everyone down.” Her brain added. “Why aren’t you happy more often?” It asked.

Hunter kept up the appearance despite wanting to break down then and there.

The two talked a little longer, Bushroot eventually heading off to get some rest, leaving Hunter alone. Hunter sighed, not quite feeling tired yet, so she headed out to stargaze for a bit.

Hunter sat outside, despite the cold temperature, watching the stars intently. She felt like she was greeting an old friend, since the stars were practically all she had to talk to aside from her stuffed animals as a kid. She knew the constellations by heart, as that was the only thing she learned in school aside from art stuff that interested her.

As Hunter stargazed, she started spacing out and thinking about things. How large was the universe? How many people were in it? How FEW people were in it? Are they living in a pocket dimension? Is existence meaningless? She shook herself out of it; she didn’t need to be thinking about that right now. She already went down that road once earlier, and it still hurt a little bit, thanks to the cold.

Hunter sighed in relief, staring up at the night sky, taking it all in. It was beautiful, almost like a painting. As she scanned the horizon, her vision settled on the docks and the water surrounding it. She wondered how long she could be down there before she had to give up. She shook it off again.

Eventually, she started to feel the exhaustion of the day start to hit and she slowly started drifting off to sleep, too tired to walk back inside. She let her eyes shut and her body relaxed.

She felt slightly warmer, but didn’t bother to check why, at least she was warm.

Then she heard a Splash.

#My writing #Darkwing Duck Bushroot #Darkwing Duck Ocs #My Ocs #Hunter Puddles #Flora Peonia #Darkwing Duck Drake Mallard #Darkwing Duck #darkwing duck gosalyn #Darkwing Duck Launchpad #Ask To Tag #Tw: Implied swearing #Tw: Implied abuse #Tw: Implied depression #Tw: Self deprecation #Tw: Implied self harm #Tw: Stim shaming #sorta #Darkwing Duck Spike

[shadowofadalekmightdeactivate]

Still Human Chapter 10

(A/N: IT’S FINALLY DONE!!! HOLY SHIT I’M SO tired it’s 11 PM someone help me Also-I really, really, really need a beta reader, you guys. I’m looking over old chapters and they have small mistakes that I’m just now fixing. If anyone is interested, PM me) THIS CHAPER HAS TRIGGERS! It has a meltdown description and a death threat. Please don’t read it if either of those disturb you! Tag list: @tinkslittlebelle, @bunny222, @wewuzraw, @narali2003 (Want to be added to the tag list? Send me an ask, I’d be glad to add you!)

If Virgil made a list of things he didn’t like, Christmas would probably top it. It was during a bloody cold and miserable month, was too cutesy for his taste and promoted lies for kids 1 to 13. Mall Santas that smelled of old beer faked jolliness for screaming, snot nosed, entitled little brats who were spoiled beyond belief, sprouting their ridiculously long lists to utter strangers. People sent into debt due to having to buy presents for “friends” and other people they won’t have to talk to again until the next boozefest they call New Year’s Day. It did bring a small break from classes, however. Most likely the best plus Virgil could think of. Spending hours on end lost in the world of music and graphite was the best therapy he could hope to have. Unfortunately for him, Lily loved the Christmas season. And-being so determined to make sure her friend had a social life-made it her mission to get Virgil invited to every up-coming Christmas party she could think of.

“VIRGIIIIIIIIIL~!” Lily yelled out, slamming the door of Virgil’s dorm open. The younger male flinched hard enough to fall of the bed as the blond woman came in. She leaned over him and chuckled at his predicament. “Did I scare ya?” “No, I always expect you to come screaming through my door,” Virgil snarled. Lily laughed again. Virgil swatted her hand away when she offered to help him up. “Tell me, Virgie,” Lily said in a fake innocent voice. “Do you have anything to wear to a party?” “Bitch my closet only has stuff in black,” Virgil shot back. “And anyway, why would you even ask that? You know I don’t like going out.” “But Viiiirgiiiie…” Lily whined. “If you keep this up, you won’t have any friends after you graduate! Don’t you want people to remember you?” “The less people remember me, the better.” Lily fell silent, no doubt hearing the undercurrent of hurt in Virgil’s voice. She dropped the topic and went to his closet, yanking it open. “Uh-you lied, bitch. There’s more than just black here.” Virgil raised his head slightly when she turned around, holding out the sleeve of a purple long-sleeved shirt. His argument died in his throat before he even opened his mouth. The blonde female turned back to her friend’s closet, pulling out every bit of coloured fabric she could find. Some of them were hoodies, some of them were shirts, she found some skirts, a pair of leggings and three scarves. “Only stuff in black”, indeed. “Virgil, come here,” she ordered, sprawling the stuff onto the dorm’s unused bed. “I need your help for this.” “I just said, Lily—” Virgil started to argue, but Lily cut him off by grabbing his wrist and dragging him over. “There’s more than just black here,” she knowingly countered the incoming remark. “And it won’t kill you to go to a few parties!” “What if I get roofied?” Virgil asked in a small voice. Lily’s hand struck the back of his head, making him yelp. “Jesus, Virgil,” she said, exasperated. “No one’s going to roofie your drink!” “Really.” Virgil crossed his arms as the friends faced each other. “So you can tell me for CERTAIN that I’m not going to get drugged out of my mind and kidnapped?” There was a tense silence. Lily sighed and threw one of Virgil’s skirts at him. “Put this on.” “Over my dead body.” “Put it on, Virgil!” Lily dug her head back into the closet. Virgil rolled his eyes and moved behind the spare bed to obey.

An hour later, Virgil stood hugging himself against the cold in front of a mansion, the wind blowing the snow around and stinging his stockinged legs. Lily once again didn’t mind the weather—but then she was in a heavy coat and well defended against the cold as Hell onslaught. Virgil only had a flimsy windbreaker over his sweater to help him. “Come on, Virgil!” Lily interrupted him from mentally writing his will, waving him to come to the door. “It’s not that cold!” “B-B-Bitch, you’re w-wearing a th-th-thick c-coat,” Virgil snarled, his teeth chattering. “I d-d-don’t want t-t-to he-hear it.” “Well then wear a coat next time, silly!” Lily walked over and pulled Virgil against her side, sharing her warmth. Virgil relaxed his hug on himself slightly and mumbled a “thanks”. Lily lead Virgil and one of her friends—Virgil never got her name and couldn’t be bothered to at that point—inside the house, nodding to the person who held the door open for them. The music inside throbbed at his head, already triggering a headache. You’d think they played Christmas music at a Christmas party. Not in this college, apparently. “Come on, Virge!” Lily dragged him to a group of people barely illuminated by deep red lights. Virgil forced a smile as Lily introduced him to them. “Caroline, Susan, Jasmine, this is Virgil!” Lily said. “Virgil, my best friends Carrie, Suzy and Jazzie.” “Um…Hello…” Virgil awkwardly held his hand out for them to shake. Caroline’s lip curled in a disgusted way. “Why is he wearing a skirt?” “Why are you wearing a tux?” Lily shot back. “This is different! If a woman wears a tux, she’s breaking a mold. If a guy does…” Caroline trailed off, wilting under Lily and Jasmine’s glares. “No, continue,” Lily said, her voice dripping with fake sweetness. “I want to hear you finish that sentence.” “Nevermind…” Caroline took a drink from her red cup. Lily winked at Virgil, who gave her a grateful smile. Virgil listened half-heartedly as Jasmine launched into an explanation of how “feminine” she felt. Odd thing to say. Caroline oddly didn’t make any snide remarks about it, but she rolled her eyes every time Virgil tried contributing to the conversation. Eventually the girl moved to stand beside Lily and wound up pushing him out of the group. Virgil bit his lip. He knew he should stand up for himself, but he also really didn’t want to hang out with a group of girls all night like a loser. Hell, he didn’t want to be here in the first friggn’ place. He slowly moved away, heading to a table with a bunch of red cups on it. If he acted like he belonged here, maybe nobody would bug him and he’d be able to think of a game plan.

“Okay, cool it, Roman. You’re being ridiculous. Nobody’s staring at you.” Roman took a deep breath, trying to shove any nervousness away. He can do this! He stuck his hands in his hoodie pocket and stepped further into the house. The music blaring in his ears and muffled human speech didn’t really help his internal chill factor. He resisted the urge to play with his hoodie’s sleeves (he knew what that would lead to) and instead elected to walk around the house. His mind went back to the argument he’d had with his mother the night before. She’d been really upset about something he’d been doing—his “stupid stimming”, she’d said—and was upset that he couldn’t act normal for 5 seconds. “Just don’t act like yourself for ONE MINUTE! Just ONE! MINUTE!! IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?! You’re an adult, not a child, now ACT LIKE ONE!” Nope. Nopenopenope. Bad memories. Bad memories won’t help any if they cause him to lose his cool. Roman buried his hands deeper into his hoodie, biting his lower lip. The sounds were really closing in now. ‘I can do this. I have to do this. I can be an adult, prove it to her!’ His feet refused to move. He was rooted to the spot, like a tree. People around him seemed unaware, just brushing past him like he was just a decoration. Someone accidentally touched him at one point and he flinched, moving away and backing into someone. He jolted away from them and bumped into another person. “Hey?!” They protested. “You spilled my drink! Watch where you’re going!” “I-I’m sorry—” Roman moved away from them, flinching when someone grabbed his shoulders. “Calm down, dude,” a voice said. “What drugs are you on?” “Don’t touch me!” Roman jerked away. The man that had grabbed him held his hands up in a calming gesture. “Easy, dude. It’s scary when you’re tripping balls. Come with me, I’ll take you home.” ‘I don’t need to go home!!’ Roman yelled at him mentally. ‘I need to prove something to mom!! I need to last for a little bit longer!!!’ He backed away from the well-meaning hands and suddenly found himself on the floor. The guy tried to reach out to help him up but Roman couldn’t hear his voice over the ringing in his ears. He gripped at his hair to stop himself from flapping his hands, to no avail. Everything was too much, he couldn’t see straight, and even humming loudly didn’t do anything to help. It felt like his chest was crushing his lungs and making it hard to breathe. Was he yelling? He couldn’t tell. Someone suddenly knelt in front of him. Roman focused long enough for him to make out the face of his friend Virgil. He couldn’t hear what he was saying, it’s too much! Virgil took Roman’s hands off his head gently, holding them. He instantly let go when Roman started to flap them. The presence of a friend and finally allowing himself to stim made the ringing in his ears subside enough for him to hear Virgil. “Take it easy, redhead,” he was saying. “Listen to me, not the voices in your head. Breathe with me. Inhale for seven seconds, hold for eight, exhale for four. There we go, that’s much better.” Roman didn’t feel much better. The ringing was starting again and he was getting a headache. Virgil coaxed him to stand and took his hand. Roman gripped it tightly as his purple-haired friend led him away from the noise and the people, away from the music and the heavy feeling. He found himself sitting on the couch, Virgil staying beside him and now playing on his phone. The ringing in his ears and overwhelmed feeling subsided and left him feeling like an utter fool. Mom was right—he can’t handle this kind of scene. He’s not a collage kid. He’s too needy. Virgil looked up from his phone when Roman sighed. “You feel okay?” He asked. Roman nodded. Virgil gave him a disbelieving look and sat up straighter, putting his phone away. “You don’t look like it,” he said. “You looked like you were about to lose it back there.” Roman blushed, rubbing the back of his neck and flapping his other hand slightly. “It’s nothing…” A silence fell between them. “You can’t stand crowds either, hm.” Roman looked up at Virgil again. “You…?” “High anxiety.” Virgil sat back, leaning his head back against the couch and closed his eyes. “I got dragged here against my will.” Roman giggled, trying to hide it in his hand. “Like a damsel in distress?” He asked. Virgil opened one eye to give him a death glare. “Any comment about girls and skirts and I’ll slit your throat.” Roman giggled again. Virgil shut his eye, smiling vaguely. They sat for a bit in comfortable silence, Virgil pretending to sleep and Roman looking around the room. Eventually Virgil opened his eyes again and turned his head to Roman. “Why’re you here?” Roman’s shoulders slumped. “I’m proving something to mom.” “What, that you have anxiety?” “No!” Roman crossed his arms. “That people with Autism can still be adults.” Virgil raised one eyebrow. “I don’t follow.” “My mom and I got into a fight the night before. She wants me to act more normal.” That seemed to get Virgil’s attention, seeing as how he sat up and watched him with wide eyes. Roman continued undeterred. “She complained that I don’t think like an adult and that I can’t even be normal for five seconds.” “I’m sorry—back up.” Virgil waved one of his hands to stop Roman. “She wants you to be what?” “Normal. Without Autism.” Roman shrugged. “I try to tell her that this is my normal, but I guess it’s not enough. She does love me though!” He finished quickly when a dark look crossed Virgil’s face. Virgil started to say something when his phone buzzed. He looked at it for a few moments before throwing it to the floor and burying his face in his hands. “Fuuuck, I don’t want to go back…” Roman tilted his head to the side. He suddenly had an idea. He nudged Virgil’s shoulder and couldn’t help but smile when his friend only moved a finger to look at him. “What if we treat this as an escape?” Roman suggested. “We can run up here if we need to get away again.” Virgil paused to think. Eventually he leaned down to grab his phone and stood up to face Roman again. “Deal. Do you want to stay together?” Roman’s eyes lit up. He grinned and nodded rapidly. Virgil rolled his eyes and grabbed his hand, almost yanking him off his feet as he headed back down to the noise of the party.

Roman and Virgil wound up hiding in the room three more times. Roman had more fun one-on-one with him than he thought he ever would with a house full of random people. Virgil also found himself enjoying the bombastic redhead’s company…Not that he was going to say it out loud. Their fun was soon spoiled by the fact that Roman’s mom had come to pick him up. They were now standing on the sidewalk waiting for her to find a parking spot, Virgil hugging himself and shivering with Roman watching him in worry and trying to work up some courage. He eventually found his voice on the woman’s third lap around the block. “Virgil? I wanted to ask you something…” Virgil looked up at him. Roman struggled to keep his cool (in a better way this time). Why must this man insist on wearing eyeliner, it made his eyes look so big it was so CUTE- “What?” Virgil asked. Roman shook himself out of his enraptured state. “I was wondering…If…” “If you ask me for a kiss I’ll slap you.” Roman couldn’t help laughing at his friend’s bluntness. “No! No! That’s not it at all!” “Then what is it?” “Do you want to hang out this weekend?” There! He said it! Virgil was quiet in thought. He then shrugged. “Sure. I don’t think I have any plans on for that day.” “Really?!” Roman bounced up and down slightly. “That’s great! Thank you so—” His mom cut him off by blaring her car horn. Apparently she’d finally found a parking space…Right across the road. Who’d have thought. “I’d better go inside before I freeze to death,” Virgil said. “O-Okay. Bye Virgil!” Roman waved at his friend as he left. “Text me if you need someone to talk to!” “Who was that?” Roman’s mom asked when he got into the car and started brushing snow off himself. He looked out the window and saw Virgil watching him for a moment before his blonde friend came out and dragged him inside. He smiled to himself. “So I won the bet. That’s my new friend…”

#Still Human AU #Redhead Writes #Sanders Sides #autism au #Roman Sanders #Virgil Sanders #meltdowns #death threats

[lil-cutesy-things]

Coronavirus and lockdown (My life as an autistic young woman #7)

Hi, everyone! It's been a while.

I'm lucky enough to still be healthy and my relatives are too.

I thought it would be great to talk a little bit about how I personally deal with the lockdown in my country. Here you go!

To put it simply, my first month of lockdown has been horrible.

I suffer from change anxiety, which means that the smallest change in my daily routine makes me horribly anxious. And this ducking (I censure myself since I would like this account to stay family-friendly) virus changed ALL of my daily routine.

I don't have the words to explain how bad I felt. I had shutdowns over and over again, moments where I was too exhausted to move, talk or even think. I had at least two meltdowns, moments where I felt nothing but anger and hatred. I got into fights with my relatives, screamed, hit my bedsheets until my knuckles got red.

Fortunately, I feel better now.

I finally got used to my new situation and my anxiety level has significantly decreased.

Staying with my relatives 24/7 is not pleasant at all, mostly because of their lack of knowledge of ASD. I easily slip back into bad coping mechanisms when I'm under stress and/or anxiety. Because my relatives are not familiar with ASD (and don’t want to do some research), they can’t provide me with the support that I need. They don’t understand why the lockdown makes me feel so anxious. I tried to explain, but they still don’t understand.

My exams are coming soon. It's hard for me to stay motivated but I'm working as much as I can. I hope I'll get good grades.

Currently, I am going through a period of transition. I took the time to do some research, obtain information, educate myself about ASD. I’m rediscovering myself. I’m experiencing a renaissance. It feels like I went back to square one and started a new life, but this time I’m aware of my disorder. I’m saying my first words, taking my first steps in this new state of mind. 

It implies that I’m as fragile as a newborn child. Sometimes I have violent mood swings, temper tantrums. Sometimes I cry my head off all evening. I often feel guilty for being so sensitive and irritable. I have good intentions, but I don’t have self-control. Remember guys, it’s okay to not be okay. You’re the most important person in your life. Take all the time you need to heal. The people who love you will be patient and supportive.

I'm rediscovering stimming and it feels sooo good. Stimming is one of my autistic traits that I used to be ashamed of, since my stims are generally associated with children's behaviour in people's minds: bouncing around, rocking back and forth on my chair, flapping hands... A lot of my stims are vocal—humming and singing allow me to relax. Today I talked with my baby voice and whined to express my feelings. My relatives were quite uncomfortable with me stimming this aggressively but I don't care that much. I've always tried to be perfect for them but ended up being the "weird one" anyway. Now I'll just be myself and enjoy life to the fullest. (Of course, try not to disturb your relatives. But don't give your true self up by trying to be perfect!)

This post is a short update. I wanted to give some news.

I hope everyone is doing well. Please stay safe and healthy! Lots of love everybody 💕

#my life as an autistic young woman #coronavirus #lockdown #anxiety #dealing with anxiety #stay strong #the sun will still rise tomorrow

[thechildoflightning]

Ch2- Meteorological (September)

Title: Calendrical Consequences (Masterpost)

Fandom: Sander Sides

Pairings: Logicality, Eventual LAMP/CALM

~~~

Chapter Title: Meteorological (September) - Chapter Two

Summary: School starts back up and Virgil's doing alright, if having a bit more nightmares than usual. Add in a meeting with his counselor and Virgil starts to question what he's doing with his life.

Warnings: Nightmares, Kidnapping, References and Allusions to Past Abuse, Panic Attack, Chronic Pain, Prescribed and Safe Use of Medication

 ~~~

Meteorological (September) - Chapter Two

~~~

September 5, 2019

 Virgil was six. His mom had brought him to the park to play with the other kids. But Virgil wasn’t really into playing with the other kids. They were loud and always organized games that made no sense to him. He played tag with them for a little bit, mostly to appease him mom, but quickly found it uninteresting and decided to leave them.

Instead he went over to the big tree with the roots that were bigger than his body in some places. He found a cool stick and poked it into the ground, frowning when it fell down. He tried again, but it just fell over once more. He was about to make a third attempt when a voice spoke up behind him.

“Hey kid, need some help?” a women offered, kneeling to his level.

“Momma told me not to talk to strangers,” he whispered.

“Oh don’t worry, I’m not a stranger, I’m Eliza’s Mom,” she explained. Her smile was warm and her simple blouse gave her a look of motherly affection.

“Eliza’s Mom?” he asked as he tilted his head to the side slightly.

“Yep, you played tag with her, remember?”

Virgil looked over at the group he was previously with. Frowning a bit at the kids who continued to chase after one another.

“Oh,” he frowned, “I thought her name was Abby.”

“Nope, but that's okay. The point is I’m not a stranger. Can I help you?” the strange woman asked him.

She leaned over a bit, inspecting what the young boy was doing. She raised her eyebrows a bit at the realization he was just repeatedly slabbing sticks in the ground. But really, he was six. Stabbing sticks in the ground was cool.

Virgil shrugged, “Sure. I can’t get the branch to stick up.”

“Let me help.”

She reached toward his hand to take the stick. In response, he held it out to her.

But instead of taking it, she grabbed his wrist and tugged him, clamping something over his mouth. He tried to scream, but his eyes got heavy and suddenly he was asleep.

“VIRGIL! VIRGIL! Stop her! That woman has my kid! Help! Help!”

-

Virgil woke up screaming.

“V, V, its Roman, you’re okay man.”

“What, what, Roman?” he whispered around choked breathing as he looked frantically around the room. His heart thudded in his chest loudly, droning at every other noise around him.

“Yeah man. You had a nightmare. Everything’s okay,” his roommate soothed.

Trixie was on him, putting pressure on him. He breathed deeply in reassurance. That was all over now. He was home and he was safe. He was okay. He was safe.

His heartbeat started to slow and the drowning buzz in his ears faded away. A tendril of shame clawed its way in instead.

“Right. Thanks. Sorry,” he muttered, face hot

“Not a problem,” Roman yawned. He was asleep in seconds.

Virgil just blinked at the ceiling and hoped that sleep would eventually take him soon.

-

Virgil woke up two more times that night. Luckily, neither seemed to wake Roman. In fact, when Virgil woke up in the morning for good, Roman was still snoozing away. Virgil could only guess he had gotten up to pray earlier and then fallen back asleep before his first class.

Virgil sighed and pushed off the covers before heading towards the kitchen. Patton was already at classes, but Logan should still be here.

He had started to heat up water for tea when Logan himself walked into the room. He was looking at something on his phone, flapping one of his hands absentmindedly and grinning wildly. He stopped immediately when he saw Virgil, shoving his hand into his pocket and clicking his phone off.

“What were you looking at?” Virgil asked.

“Oh,” Logan adjusted his glasses, “Just, a video of a fish. It's really quite unimportant. I just-”

“You don't have to justify your interests around us Logan. And we won't get mad when you stim.”

Logan nodded at the reminder.

“Would you,” Logan hesitated, “like to watch the video with me?”

“Sure,” Virgil replied.

Logan quickly joined Virgil and held the screen between the two before restarting the video. It was short, about twenty seconds, of a fish with long flowing colorful fins. As they watched it a few times, Logan took out his hand to flap it and even jumped. Virgil smiled at his excitement. It was nice seeing Logan become more comfortable stimming around them.

They watched it on repeat for maybe two minutes before Logan turned the phone off.

“What time is your first class?” he asked.

“I need to leave in about ten, fifteen minutes.”

The kettle started to hiss. Virgil walked over as he saw the steam rise.

The water was boiling. It would burn him if he touched it. But they knew that. They knew it would burn him. That was the point.

He clutched his arms right to himself and backed away breathing heavily. Trixie jumped up, pressing her paws against his chest. His gaze jerked to her and with a rush he snapped out of the flashback and returned to the present.

“Thanks girl,” he said, giving her a small treat from his pocket. Speaking of which, he needed to feed her. He would do that after his tea.

“Logan, do you want tea?” he asked.

“Yes please.”

Virgil filled two cups, dropping in Logan and his respective favorites. He then took out Trixie’s bowl and filled it up with her food, put some water in it, and placed it on the floor. She sat by it patiently, not moving until he gave her the command that allowed her to eat.

He sipped his tea slowly just as his phone buzzed in his pocket. He took out the offending device and read the reminder that told him to get ready for class. Right, time to get moving.

~~~

September 11, 2019

 “Virgil, come in,” Michelle greeted, beckoning him into her office.

Virgil scowled, but followed, Trixie at his side.

Michelle held the door open as he entered, smiling at him in a way that was much too wide to be real. He took a seat in the small office and she started to close the door behind them.

He could feel the room closing in, trapped in the cellar.

Trixie whined and pawed at him, causing him to jerk back to the present. He patted her head.

“Thank you sweetie,” he told the pup.

The counselor took her own seat across from him and studied him carefully

“So, you chose your major,” she commented when it became obvious that Virgil wasn’t going to be the person to start the conversation.

Really, Virgil didn’t get why these meetings existed anyway. He understood that the school was trying to help each students “get settled” or whatever but did he really need this? He was passing his classes and on track to graduate. What more did they want?

“Yes I did. At the end of last year. Which you know.”

She shuffled some papers. For show, he suspected. Really, how much paperwork could this conversation involve? Plus, she wasn’t looking down at any of them.

“Well yes,” she admitted, “But I’m actually curious about what you want to do with your Creative Writing degree once you achieve it.”

Virgil froze.

“What?” he asked.

“Virgil,” she said, “What do you want for your future?”

-

Virgil walked glumly back to the apartment he shared with Logan, Roman, and Patton. With a groan, he shoved the door open.

He walked in, planning to flop onto the couch only to find Roman with a bowl of cheerios already sitting there.

Virgil just groaned again, causing Roman to look up.

“Hey,” Roman greeted, “long day?”

Virgil huffed in confirmation and joined him.

He sat on the floor, allowing Trixie to perform DPT. He needed the grounding method.

“You okay?” Roman asked as he watched his friend’s dog task.

Virgil shrugged miserably. Slowly, tears started to drip down his face in large drops.

“Woah, woah, woah, Surly Temple,” Roman said in panic, scrambling to join the older boy on the floor.

“Hey, uh, Virge? Can I touch you?”

Virgil just nodded and continued to silently cry. Roman wrapped his arms around Virgil and pulled him close, careful not to shift Trixie, allowing her to still perform her task. Roman had gotten a lot better about noticing things like that in the year they had known each other.

Virgil's tears eyes dried after a minute and he leaned heavily into Roman’s side.

Roman rubbed his back in comfort.

“Hey, what's up?” he asked, “What's going on?”

“I had a meeting with my counselor.”

“Yeah, I remember you saying that. But, isn't that supposed to be a good thing? She like, helps you and stuff?”

Virgil sniffled and swiped at his eyes.

“She asked me about my future.”

“Okay? Again Count Woe-lof, I'm gonna need a little more information. I'm not quite understanding.”

“I have no clue what I want for my future,” Virgil said with a huff, throwing his hands up.

Roman’s eyes narrowed slightly and Virgil could practically see his mind racing as he attempted to figure him out.

“Okay. Well that's okay?” Roman offered, “I mean yeah, you should probably start thinking about it, but you have time. No need to panic over it,” he attempted to comfort.

Virgil just gave him a look.

“I panic over everything,” Virgil said with a chuckle.

Roman shrugged and offered him some cheerios.

-

It was in this state that Logan and Patton found them in when they returned from their date. Roman excused himself to pray, Logan went off somewhere, and Patton joined Virgil on the floor.

“V, kiddo, are you okay?” Patton asked softly.

Virgil gave a small smile. Like always, Patton always knew when something was off. He may not always understand what or why, but he at least knew that something was wrong. It was a nice support to have.

“Yeah, I'm good. Roman and me talked, just got a lot on my mind,” he admitted.

Patton nodded, and after asking for permission, started to thread his fingers through Virgil’s hair. Virgil grinned softly at the action as his body relaxed.

“Hey, you and Logan got back early. Didn't go out for dinner?”

“Nah,” Patton said shrugging, “decided to just get back to the two of you. Lo’s not having a great day, and it's getting busier. And busier means louder.”

Virgil nodded in understanding. Then came to a realization.

“Shit, it's my night to cook,” he looked down at his dog, “Trixie-”

Patton waved his hand.

“Don't worry about it Virgil. I can cook.”

“You sure Pat? You cook a lot. And it's my night,” he protested

Patton just smiled, “Don’t worry, it's no problem. Plus you weren’t expecting me and Logan anyways.”

“I just don't want you putting to much on yourself like you used to.”

Patton gave him a wide smile and switched from petting his hair to quickly ruffling it. Virgil scowled and shoved the hand away.

“Thanks for looking out for me kiddo. Don't worry, I know now how to communicate my limits. It's really okay. I need something to do anyway.”

Virgil hesitated. It was still hard for him to accept help, but after years of practice it was getting slightly easier. Plus, his friends did seem so sincere. They seemed to genuinely want to help. So he relented.

“Okay. Thanks. Just let me know if you need help I guess.”

Patton just hummed and got to work.

Virgil shrugged and stayed with his dog.

Eventually, he directed Trixie up and left to his room that he shared with Roman.

He could fully admit that when the four of them had first started discussing rooming together he was inclined to refuse. His freshman year he had gotten a single dorm through his situation, and the idea of sharing an apartment off campus, much less sharing a room, scared him more than he cared to admit.

Plus, it meant sharing with Roman. And while the two were friends now, they weren't very close in the beginning. The two of them, unknowingly, were phenomenal at hitting each other in their most vulnerable spots.

But, the apartment was working out so far. Hopeful this whole “plan for the future” thing would too.

~~~

September 21, 2019

 “Roman was a genius for bringing this,” Virgil commented as he continued to hit buttons on his controller, knocking Patton off the platform again.

“No,” Patton whined as his character fell, “Yeah it is pretty fun,” he replied, turning to glance quickly at Virgil, “I never really got into video games as a kid.”

They two of them were sitting on the couch, blankets wrapped around them, as the clock steadily ticked towards morning.

Virgil snorted, “I can tell.”

“Hey,” Patton said, letting out an offended gasp. He then proceed to walk his character off the platform. “Okay yeah, I suck at this.”

“We’ll choose a different platform next time,” Virgil promised, “One you can’t fall off of.”

“Oh good,” Patton muttered, eyes narrowed on the screen.

He pressed a button and his avatar jumped.

“Wait, if that’s jump, then what’s attack?”

“Well there’s multiple attacks,” Virgil started to explain once again.

“Wait, what!” Patton exclaimed, looking at his controller in a mixture of shock, horror, and awe.

Virgil snorted again, “Yes, I showed you them. Do you want me to show them to you again?”

“Huh. Uh, yes please,” Patton then proceeded to walk off the cliff again, ending the round.

“Okay, let me choose a new map and then I will,” Virgil said as they were returned to the home screen. Virgil fiddled around a bit, going through the multitude of maps. He flicked between three particular maps before finally settling on one.

He then held up his own controller, showing Patton the different buttons and going through each one and what they did. Patton listened intently staring back and forth between Virgil’s controller and his own.

“Hopefully this map will be better,” Virgil muttered as their characters spawned on the screen. The two played for a bit longer, Patton finally getting the hang of it, before Patton spoke up.

“So, why are you still up Virge?”

Virgil sighed, “Nightmares,” he admitted.

“Wanna talk about it?”

He shrugged and pressed a few buttons. His character on screen threw a bomb, creating an explosion that knocked Patton’s character back.

“Same as always,” he said, “Just a bit worse than usual.”

He tried to blink back the encroaching memories from his mind. Images of blood and bodies and being trapped and taken. Images of promises that he was cared for and safe and that they loved him even as they turned around and abused him the next moment.

He had to focus hard on pushing the memories to the back of his mind. Sometimes processing through it all was just too much. And if he didn’t have the strength to process it, it would just be overwhelming and damaging. Sometimes it really was better to just put a wall up and push it away. Sometimes that was the only thing he could do.

This was where the distraction of playing

“What about you?” Virgil asked, “Pain keeping you up?”

Patton nodded.

“I took my pain meds, but,” Patton shrugged.

Virgil studied him, noticing how his face was drawn tight under his cheerfulness and how he moved as little as possible. It had always been hard for Virgil to tell how Patton was feeling. Sometimes the physical symptoms gave him away, because they’re wasn’t much he could do about hiding them. But Patton could hide the pain. And he was good at it.

“I’m sorry,” Virgil offered, at a loss for anything else.

Patton shrugged.

“It’s kind of just what chronic pain is a lot of them time. Hurt’s a lot, just trying to distract myself.”

Virgil could get that, that attempt at distraction. It was also something he could go along with.

“By killing your character every two seconds?” he teased.

“I’m not trying to!” Patton protested. It probably would have been more effective is his character didn’t die right then.

“Sure,” Virgil said with a chuckle as they continued to play.

They would distract for now. Distract until they could deal with it. If they could even deal with. Because sometimes distracting was all you could really do.

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