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#I’m so gonna use the ceiling of leaves in one of my future builds
pbpsbff · 29 days
Note
3, 20, 22~
hiiiii thank u for the ask
3. What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway)
ok so this is less a scene and more an entire fic concept but i literally cannot figure out a context to put it into and it hurts because i really like it
there’s a family living there now, from what he’s heard. a mom and a dad, and two daughters. maybe he should tell them about the money. but what would he even say? hey, there’s a twenty dollar bill somewhere in your walls. also, a part of me died here and i’m afraid his ghost might be wandering the halls. is he overstaying his welcome? i’m sorry if he is, by the way. i’d recommend you a nice priest for an exorcism, but he’ll probably just leave if you tell him to go.
peter thinks maybe he’ll slip a note under the door instead, but there’s too many words to fit on a page to describe the way his bones ache when he passes by the building, how he still wakes up in the morning expecting to smell burnt toast and hear may singing along to some garbage song from the 80’s she claims is the best thing she’s ever heard, or all the different creaks and moans of the apartment, all its quirks and flaws that he once knew like the back of his hand.
he could explain it all away; that faucet leaks because i was an overachieving nine year old who thought he could take it apart and put it back together without a problem, or that weird brown-ish stain on the ceiling is from when may accidentally flung spaghetti across the room, or why are you trying to rid this apartment of all the evidence of it being a home?
maybe i make it into something post nwh?? idk. this isn’t even all of it
20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)
i wish i could say that all my writing is really deep and there's clues everywhere but most foreshadowing in my fics is something i did on accident and then went holy shit i can use this. i'm a genius.
i will say though, the way tony rhodey and peter's dynamic changes throughout everything i have posted for r&r (and everything in my drafts oop) is probably my favorite thing ever like idk i'm a huge fan of the walking dead and the way relationships shift with each new experience and that is exactly what i wanted to do when i started the series
i was gonna look through a couple of my fics to see if i could find specific references but ao3 is fucking. DOWN and i'm too lazy to pull up my google docs. god bless
22. Do you reread your old works? How do you feel about them?
i reread them all the TIME omfg. a lot of the times i'm cringing at spelling or grammatical errors (and then i fix them) but idk there's something so fun about being able to go back to a fic and think wow i would've done that differently if i wrote it today. it's also fun to read through a fic i don't remember writing at ALL and being like holy shit............ banger.............. it's an ego boost i guess
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punkscowardschampions · 8 months
Text
JJ & JC Pt.2
Jimmy: I’ll be here
Janis: We’re gonna sort the broken bits, make it all better
Jimmy: Swear?
Janis: It hurt to hear it so plain but you were right, we couldn’t go on how we were
Janis: if we’re not aiming for better than that, what are we doing
Jimmy: Alright 🤝🎯🏆
Janis: 🥇 always
Jimmy: Or nowt, baby, I’ve not forgot
Janis: Don’t, I won’t
Jimmy: Never
Janis: I feel like I can breathe again now
Jimmy: Go on, no need for us both to be bated breath about Bob
Janis: *no need for me to fake an asthma attack of my very own
Jimmy: That an’ all, breathless at how fit I look covered in paint’ll do
Janis: you’ve always been distracting
Jimmy: You
Jimmy: tah for not distracting me off the ladder when we’ve only just talked her out of an A&E trip
Janis: Best behaviour or losing my touch? 🤔
Jimmy: What touch is that, eh? First I’ve heard
Janis: Oi, dickhead
Janis: you know there’s a time I could’ve had you down that ladder faster than you could reach the ceiling
Jimmy: Time nowt would be painted but you, but we ain’t here to talk about my touch
Janis: but
Jimmy: But what? I’ve not lost mine, you have
Janis: Have not!
Janis: you picked the wrong answer, I’m behaving
Jimmy: 😇
Jimmy: anybody else’d call bollocks on the copout of your answer
Janis: anybody else don’t know what I can do like you do
Jimmy: No clue what you’re capable of, them
Janis: I don’t mind it being secret
Jimmy: It’ll stay between us, sort of mate I am
Janis: mine
Jimmy: Yours
Janis: I can’t stop thinking about you
Jimmy: Only fair, I can’t you neither
Janis: you looked really good today, seriously
Jimmy: I felt it, still do
Janis: That’s absolutely what you deserve
Jimmy: [me leaving a note for my future self that he is absolutely touching himself from this point on, even though it should be OBVIOUS AF when I re-read one day, not even just for the jc parallel but because he simply can’t not with how y’all are being, whether or not he gets to fully cum though like Casey did before Bobby bowls up remains to be seen and depends how mean we wanna be lol]
Jimmy: Is it?
Janis: Of course it is
Janis: she was happy with every part of the day that we had control over, she said so
Jimmy: Make a good team, us, I’ve always said
Janis: Have from the off, even at the shittest team building exercises
Jimmy: You distracted me from how shit they were, same goes for parts of today
Janis: You were the only person there worth paying attention to
Janis: won’t say same for today, bit mean
Jimmy: Go on, stay a secret an’ all
Janis: I was most looking forward to seeing you today, birthday or nah
Jimmy: There ain’t owt I could look forward to more
Janis: Having lunch pencilled in makes me feel so
Janis: already
Jimmy: I’ll have you every week if you fancy it
Janis: More than anything
Jimmy: If you meant more I’d go for every day
Janis: Please, Jim
Jimmy: Okay, as you’ve said it so nice
Janis: I love seeing you, spending real time with you
Jimmy: I love you
Janis: I love you too
Jimmy: I’ve missed feeling this
Jimmy: missed you
Janis: It drove me crazy, missing you
Janis: having you back is incredible
Jimmy: You’re incredible
Jimmy: you’re 
Janis: I think about kissing you constantly
Jimmy: I think about all of it constantly
Janis: We didn’t even
Janis: but it felt like
Janis: I can’t lose you, this
Jimmy: I might lose it here, remembering, but I won’t you
Janis: making me mad my face isn’t there but I still want you to
Jimmy: I’m fuming an’ all, I want your mouth back, how it was
Jimmy: how it’s replaying in my head
Janis: You kissed me so hard, I can still feel it, when I focus
Jimmy: Focus as hard
Jimmy: please, I need you to feel it
Janis: There’s nothing else in my brain, I promise you
Janis: just how you felt, that close to me again
Jimmy: My brain’s tricking us, this pillow still smells like you
Janis: remember how you had me pinned, we couldn’t get our clothes off, that’s how together we were
Jimmy: Yeah
Janis: What do I smell like?
Jimmy: [Pop off about whatever she does, but being really extra about it and lowkey writing an essay like how he used to because we’re in an extra mood rn, just telling her how each individual scent makes him feel as well, nbd nbd]
Janis: Oh 🥺
Janis: you’re too good with words, I was going to try to tell you how you smell but now I can’t
Jimmy: Tell me, I’m running out of words right now
Jimmy: I 
Janis: I’m practically doubled over, trying to make it back to my car before
Janis: thinking about you there, doing what I know you’re doing
Janis: [do your best to match the energy and describe him, like you aren’t dying]
Jimmy: Fuck
Janis: me
Jimmy: Janis
Janis: Jimmy
Jimmy: I can’t hang on for you to get to your car
Janis: I don’t care, I need you to now
Jimmy: Your pillow’s pinned beneath me, I have to
Janis: I’m holding onto the back of someone else’s car, I swear I feel it right now
Jimmy: It feels so 
Janis: spit on it, you could feel it through my leggings, remember
Jimmy: How could I forget? You were that wet for us, just like you are now
Janis: It’s been building, all day and now I’m just
Jimmy: Hold tighter to that dickhead’s car
Janis: I want to be sat on your lap again, I miss you so damn much
Jimmy: I can’t have you falling over ‘til then
Janis: I promise, I’m trying so hard 
Jimmy: Best behaviour, you’re being so good
Janis: I’m wet for you, not this whole car park, they don’t get to know
Jimmy: I don’t care if they all know what my name is
Janis: You know the only thing that quiets me is you on my mouth somehow
Jimmy: I can’t stop saying yours either
Janis: and you called me baby, last time
Jimmy: I remember, baby
Janis: Shit, I’m going to start behaving bad if you don’t
Jimmy: In front of the whole car park would be bad
Janis: you’ve got me feeling so good, I don’t think I can get any better
Jimmy: Whoever it is I’ll not mind you lying on their car, how you look an’ all, can drown out the alarm between the pair of us
Janis: [send him pictures of you on this car, best you can with your limited POV]
Janis: you took better ones but
Jimmy: [send her some back like yeah I absolutely did, because no fucks given rn, these are feral hours]
Janis: Jesus, okay
Janis: I missed everything about you, right now it feels like especially that
Jimmy: I can’t have that, hang on, let me show you everything
Jimmy: [even more EXTRA pics, this boy out here exposing himself from every possible angle like]
Janis: [SOMEHOW making it to your own car so you can lose it and also record it, however shakily, ‘cos owe him everything right back for the way this has KILLED you]
Jimmy: [Which will KILL him right back so there’s no response but we all know it’s cos the best response is happening irl, this boy just out here cumming so dramatically, stay asleep down there Libi and Peach thank you and Bobby don’t hurry back cos he needs SEVERAL moments after that]
Janis: [Privacy please, children, thank the lord you’re in your room and none of them should bowl in, also glad you got off that car hun, idk what time it is but too early for you to be doing all that, recover in this car]
Janis: you okay?
Jimmy: [genuinely not gonna have him reply, cruel as that is, cos it’s believable to me he’s crashed that hard after the busy day y’all have had and now this, whatever time Bobby comes in he’ll wake this man even if Jimothy decides to leave having a chat with him til the AM, I’ll have him say something then, but it’s up to you if you wanna leave some more unanswered messages before then first]
Janis: [I’ll do a few, even if you’re trying to deploy your logic and realise he’s probably just passed out from it, a small part of you is like ahh]
Janis: Hope so, yeah, it’s, you know
Janis: it is with me if it is with you anyway
Jimmy: [Whatever time Bobby comes in and he is rudely awakened, I’m sure it’s late cos he’s being a rebhog and China is a cool girl with no curfew even if it is a school night, regardless, late enough that Jimothy is like cba to have a go at him now]
Jimmy: Sorry, back from the dead for a bit ‘cause only our kid could slam a door like it’s challenge accepted on waking every dickhead who’s 6 foot under 
Jimmy: I should probably see to if Libs and her now barking dog need owt, but 
Jimmy: you okay, still?
Janis: Ah, was hoping for a bit of role reversal that had her opening and closing his doors for him, no such luck then
Janis: I’m all good, you check on them
Jimmy: So far I’ve heard the one set of mardy stomping feet no more, unless he’s proper committed to pissing Libi off with the visual and he’s carrying her up the stairs, like
Jimmy: 👍
Janis: lets hope not, Libi will be lulled right back to sleep by the lack of her in sight
Janis: Though you’d only have yourself to blame if he’s taken to copying that move
Jimmy: [A quite long pause because he actually is checking on Libi and Peach obvs cos no way she wouldn’t be woken by that door slam and then she’d be trying to soothe this pup who’s like um wtf, so get her a glass of water or whatever, take it to her and have a check in, however short and sweet that is cos he’s still half asleep even if Libi is wide awake af, have a cuddle with Peach, etc etc]
Jimmy: She has been 🤞 or will be, though she looked opposite end to knackered and ready to go back to bed when I pissed off and left her and the dog to it, they had [whatever the film she watches when she’s v sad is] on
Janis: It’s real 💔 times then, get her a pint of ice cream after she’s been doctors
Janis: At least she’s still there under the blankets though
Jimmy: It’s a shout, this rate she’ll be going in doctors looking worse than when she had her attack, all her 😭 she’ll have done by time film has
Janis: Might be she’s after the time off, wouldn’t blame her for that, or tell the doctor she’s faking it
Jimmy: Owed more but I dunno what I can do at the minute else, she weren’t after me staying up to watch the film or her cry, can’t blame her for that neither
Janis: You’ve done your job, gotta let her ride it out on her own for a bit
Janis: you should go back to sleep, if you can
Jimmy: I’ll have a go
Jimmy: my paying job don’t need no help to be a pisstake when I’ve had enough nevermind not
Janis: exactly
Janis: Hopefully I’m working on someone’s back and I can take a quick nap on them first thing, like
Jimmy: Everything crossed for you
Janis: Night, boy
Jimmy: Night, girl
Jimmy: What’s this I’ve heard about you and that lass China 0’Neill?
Bobby: Oh, go on, what’s she said 🙄
Jimmy: Your socials spoke up for you, mate 
Bobby: What, can I not have mates?
Jimmy: Can I not ask what sort of mate she is, seeing everything you posted?
Bobby: Are you going to be embarrassing about this?
Bobby: it’s not a big deal
Jimmy: Don’t sound like me 😎
Jimmy: but I dunno why you wouldn’t just answer us if it ain’t a big deal, sooner you have, sooner I’ll 🤐
Bobby: What do you expect us to say, what I dunno, more like
Bobby: we’re just hanging out, like normal teenagers get to do all the time
Jimmy: Alright, I’m not having a go
Bobby: You’re making a big deal out of it
Jimmy: *being nosy about it
Bobby: Yeah
Bobby: well, it’s dead weird when you’ve had nothing to say for ages
Jimmy: I get it, you’d rather I still had nowt to say, but I’m trying to do better with all that 🤏
Bobby: No I wouldn’t
Bobby: I don’t want to hear from any of them, that’s different
Jimmy: Chuffed to not be included in the them, like
Jimmy: I’ve missed our chats we used to have before I went missing myself
Bobby: Only reason you’d reckon that is ‘cos you keep taking everyone’s side but mine these days
Bobby: was only at [wherever and whatever cool kid thing/place you were, clearly nowhere concerning lol, even if you did stay out late to be a rebel]
Jimmy: You were late in for a school night, and off early this morning an’ all, don’t see loads of you these days, what I reckon
Jimmy: why I’m here instead of, letting you know I am about and on your side, if you need owt
Bobby: It’s Libi’s birthday
Bobby: but did she really have to be her an’ all?
Jimmy: You said it, it were Libi’s birthday
Jimmy: I didn’t fancy doing all that on my own
Bobby: Don’t act like it’s surprising why I don’t want to be here
Jimmy: I never said I were surprised, nor I blame you
Bobby: You don’t have to do this, have either of them in our house
Jimmy: I want them there, don’t mean I’ll force you to join in, I’ve not
Bobby: I know you’re still struggling, you can’t fake it with me
Jimmy: Yeah, I am
Jimmy: but having them about helps me, same as you do
Bobby: Do they help you more than me?
Jimmy: Just as well as
Bobby: 2s better than 1 then, ain’t it
Jimmy: It ain’t that you’re not enough, it’d be a pisstake for me to put it all on your shoulders
Jimmy: you should have chance to be a normal lad your age, you can’t if you’re stuck with us all the time and you’re obviously after being one, you’ve said as much already
Bobby: It’s supposed to be me and you, it always has been
Jimmy: I’m supposed to do right by you, take care of you, not other way ‘round
Bobby: You never let me help, I’m not a retard like everyone else thinks, you’re not meant to treat me like them
Jimmy: No dickhead, you’re my little brother and at 13 you’re not meant to be helping me how you have done, that’s what I never should’ve treated you like
Bobby: You had to, Case had to, you treat us different
Jimmy: It’s ‘cause I had to, it’s the last bloody thing I want you to be doing with yourself
Jimmy: I want you to have a better go at life than me and him had, what’s the point of taking you off Ian else?
Bobby: I don’t get a say?
Bobby: Yeah, be about right, it’s only my bloody life
Jimmy: Not about this, you’re too young
Jimmy: even if it weren’t somehow doing your head in at the minute, it will looking back when you’re not a kid no more, and you’ll resent me
Jimmy: I can’t have that, Bob
Bobby: I’m not a kid
Bobby: and I’ll resent this, what you’re doing now
Jimmy: You’re nowhere near an adult yet
Jimmy: I’m hoping you’ll understand what I’m doing now by then 🤞 but you might not and I’ll have to live with it
Bobby: You’re not even one yourself
Jimmy: I don’t need telling I’ve not behaved like a proper one, but nobody’s more sorry than I am, trust us
Bobby: For God’s sake, you’re not meant to be sorry, what use is a sorry
Jimmy: It’s a start, as far as owning up to what a dickhead I’ve been, but alright, if you’ve no use for that, I never at your age neither
Bobby: You haven’t been, fuck’s sake
Bobby: why do you always take the blame?
Jimmy: ‘Cause some of it’s mine to take
Bobby: If that makes you feel better
Jimmy: It don’t, but it’s true any road
Bobby: Not to me, not to anyone who’s not blinded by her like you still are
Jimmy: You’re blind to what it were like for her, I’m not
Bobby: Come on
Jimmy: What? Go on
Bobby: There isn’t an excuse, whatever it were like
Jimmy: Where have I made ‘em for her? I’m saying it ain’t as simple as you’ve made it out to be in your head in mine, or hers
Bobby: You aren’t reacting how you should, that’s how you’re excusing her
Jimmy: It’s up to me how I fancy reacting to it, nobody else
Bobby: He’s our brother, how are you meant to ever talk to him again now, what about that
Jimmy: Which brings us back to my original point, I’ve already let down one brother, I’ll not you
Bobby: He’s happy, he has what he’s always wanted
Jimmy: I dunno about that, he’s got what he’s always wanted, doubt he’s chuffed to bits with how it happened or what has since
Bobby: Yeah right, Jim
Bobby: if you reckoned that for anything but this adult act, you’d have tried to talk to him yourself
Bobby: you know he’d tell you just how buzzing he is, that’s what he’s like
Jimmy: You heard, it were fucked between us ages ago, I’ve no clue how to talk to him, get through, if I did do, we’d not be here
Bobby: He is, he’s fucked, not your fault, you tried loads
Jimmy: I were meant to try harder and keep on, but I gave up and wrote him off
Jimmy: that’s my fault, and only mine
Bobby: He don’t want us about, he’s always hated us
Bobby: just like dad
Jimmy: Case didn’t always, we got on before you can remember, I let him end up like our dad and I pushed her and him together an’ all
Bobby: S’all before I can remember, always
Jimmy: Us 3 should be as close as us 2 are, he were our brother as well as
Bobby: They got in the middle of it, when you got with her, it was never the same
Jimmy: I chucked her in the middle, always, I couldn’t hack him nevermind help him
Bobby: She still is
Jimmy: Yeah
Bobby: If you mean it, why isn’t he here instead of them?
Jimmy: I can’t have him here
Bobby: Can’t be on my phone now
Jimmy: I’ll not get you in no trouble and have it taken off you then
Jimmy: we can talk in a bit
Bobby: They wouldn’t, I don’t get in trouble
Jimmy: They’d need to do their jobs proper, they took your phone, easier to let you keep hold and them to piss about carrying on being sod all use
Jimmy: but I’m coming in to have a word about sorting that [whenever he is, whether that’s literally later today or tomorrow or whatever, clearly ASAP cos Libi can’t do this any longer]
Bobby: Alright
Jimmy: 👍
Jimmy: I’m off down the school [whenever he said to Bobby just now]
Jimmy: 👌?
Janis: Did not fall asleep on any punter so 👍 we could even say
Janis: how about you lot?
Jimmy: 👍
Janis: Sensing the most sarky 👍 of all time, maybe?
Jimmy: Had a word with our kid
Jimmy: *tried to
Jimmy: went about as well as I’d reckoned it would do
Janis: Sounds like I’m taking the piss in a cunty way when I ask if he’s as chatty as usual but
Janis: Monosyllabic by his birthday, deffo
Janis: no hot goss then?
Jimmy: Dickhead made us feel like I were hatecriming him by even bringing he had a new missus up, so that were end of that
Janis: How dare you, like 😏
Janis: at least you know who she is, she’s age-appropriate, real, all the good things, follow him for more updates, duh
Jimmy: Least I might get some work done with him all but telling us to piss off, boss’ll be chuffed to bits with his behaviour
Janis: You alright? Know it’s weird when he used to be so obsessed with you, like
Jimmy: I’ll live, used to worry he would be obsessed forever, didn’t we?
Janis: Yeah, be dragging you right down if he tried to cling onto your neck how he used to these days
Jimmy: Hardly blame the lad that’s how he chooses to start a scrap if the pair of us are ever in the same room again
Janis: You won’t be able to get them out the house, get to that stage
Janis: usually get chucked/do the chucking long before then though, still that sort of age
Jimmy: Be about right he moves her in ‘cause I have Libi and the dog
Janis: Be well in with Suze when she comes to get her child back
Jimmy: She’ll need to be putting her foot down, I’ve no leg to stand on there
Janis: Libi isn’t exactly your child bride, it is different, whatever he’s saying or implying with his sulking
Jimmy: I meant you and Hayley before you but tah for recognising I ain’t planning nowt of that sort
Janis: Oh, yeah, sort of forgot
Janis: He don’t want to chat, he’s not gonna invite no girl to live with him, be sick of her soon as he had
Jimmy: He’d not even claim her as his missus to me, so
Janis: Exactly, least of your worries, for sure
Janis: just had to let him know you know, you’re paying attention
Jimmy: Knew you’d get it, and cheer us
Janis: Dealing with teenagers is probably why middle-aged people have midlife crises, thinking about it
Janis: sports car is a bit out of reach but you should treat yourself to something, for hacking him
Jimmy: Be looking middle aged if I treat myself 
Janis: Okay, don’t go for the Turkey teeth and hairline surg either, like
Janis: you know what I mean, make sure you’re cheering yourself up with something, stay sane about it
Jimmy: Staying sane’s a bit out of reach, reckon we’ve to chuck that on the pipedream pile with the flash motor
Janis: Sane for us ain’t winning you any awards, yeah, true
Jimmy: Saving it for a ☔️ day’s what lasses like Suze and her mates do an’ all, if nowt else I’m bringing it with my 🎻 playing
Janis: Stretching the word lass to breaking point there…
Jimmy: Hags’ll be uncalled for when she’s Bob’s mum-in-law, except by him
Janis: Hope you led with that, see why he was so chuffed to chat to you 😁☀️
Jimmy: ‘Course, top opener, that
Janis: Always had shit craic, you
Jimmy: I’ll see you at school for more of the same
Janis: Oh, sure, what time we headed?
Jimmy: [a time, assumedly your lunch break on whatever day, probably literally today]?
Janis: Done, let’s get this shit sorted
Jimmy: 🤞 he don’t need to sort his own tea while we’re camped out down there waiting for any dickhead to sort it, she’d dump him right then before he’s even had chance to parade her in front of Libi
Janis: I highly doubt she’s interested or in it for his 🍽
Janis: Thank God for takeaway, eh
Jimmy: Good shout, we should order for our head’s office sit in, bit dramatic going full hunger strike
Janis: LOVE us stinking out reception with [whatever your most fave is together]
Jimmy: Dunno if it’ll have us seen quicker or mean we’re about to be third wheeled by his starving secretary but either way
Janis: Might be fun, if she’s the brain cells left to be
Jimmy: *it’ll be fun
Janis: Quite the assurance, for a school meeting
Jimmy: One we’ve called with sod all warning
Jimmy: trust us, mate, be a right laugh
Janis: Fair, that will be 😌🙃
Jimmy: 😁☀️
Janis: I better let you head, not undo the favour Bobs did with your boss for you
Janis: not a decent mate move, that
Jimmy: And you’re 🥇 I know
Janis: Still?
Jimmy: Or nowt
Jimmy: and I’m not ready for that
Janis: I thought, felt, like maybe I pushed it too far for you
Jimmy: It felt exactly far enough at the time
Janis: and we’re still good now?
Jimmy: I don’t know
Jimmy: Bobby were going on about Case, what a hypocrite I am for having you and Libi back in the house but not him, and he ain’t wrong
Janis: Your relationships were bad before
Janis: obviously this were a final straw situation, not saying otherwise
Janis: how often were Bobby chatting to him when he were there, like
Jimmy: Still, I feel like I should at least talk to him, if we’re trying this hard
Janis: That’s up to you, of course
Jimmy: As I said, I don’t know
Janis: You don’t have to do it all today
Janis: He’s not off anywhere either
Jimmy: Wouldn’t be chance, what with work, this bloody school meeting and a dog to walk
Jimmy: What time did Libs have doctors? I can’t remember now
Janis: [Whenever] Mum is taking her, can ask Libs to message you when she’s out, don’t worry
Jimmy: That needs sorting an’ all, they want to be chucking her a better inhaler or something
Janis: She needs to calm down, we all do
Janis: it took years to get this fucked up, give yourself some grace, anything is an improvement on that
Jimmy: Right
Janis: I mean it, it’s not bullshit because I think you’re incapable 
Janis: trying to take it all on, all at once, it’s how we got here
Jimmy: Yeah, sorry, it’s just 
Janis: Go on
Jimmy: What if I stop and then I 
Jimmy: stop again, how I done before?
Janis: Yeah, I know the feeling
Janis: I’d be a hypocrite to pretend I’ve ever been able to sit still but I don’t know
Janis: I want better for you, like, one big step a day or a few little ones, not the whole marathon but
Jimmy: It’s so hard, this
Janis: it is
Janis: I don’t think you could go back, sometimes you can’t, after a point
Jimmy: You alright? Chucked loads at you for [whatever AM it is]
Janis: I feel like a mess all the time, no more than usual, you’re good
Jimmy: I best piss off to my desk then
Janis: It will be okay, I swear
Janis: I’m no one to believe but, we have to, don’t we
Jimmy: Still do believe you, whatever the fuck that says for how okay it’ll be or I am
Janis: I’m sorry
Jimmy: Me an’ all
Janis: I didn’t mean to be this person, didn’t think I was
Jimmy: Same, could’ve sworn I unfucked my head more than this but
Janis: Embarrassing doesn’t cover it, it’s actual shame, mortifying
Janis: I care about you all too much to act like I do and yet
Janis: here we fucking are, Jesus
Jimmy: Touched a nerve when he told us I weren’t an adult myself, our kid’s dead on there
Janis: Shit, ouch
Janis: Feel younger than I did back then, I swear, much more stupid and unsure
Jimmy: Should be me mute and him having a word, how bad I’ve fucked everything
Janis: If we only have one thing left, it’s that some of that fucking up was mutual, me and you
Jimmy: Some good needs to come of it somewhere, no fucking pressure on them pair and his new life
Janis: There’s still some chances, not all doom and gloom
Janis: guilty conscience can be as bullshit as fake it ‘til you make it positivity 
Jimmy: You’re alright, I’ve had loads of reminders I can’t trust owt I think
Janis: Who can, his age is when you realise that
Janis: sound like my mother if I say you can trust how you feel 
Jimmy: I dunno about that, how I feel seems least reliable of the lot nowadays
Janis: Liability is right, agreed
Janis: fuck it, I can’t keep distracting you, seeing you later
Jimmy: Won’t be long
Janis: feel it
Jimmy: Yeah, but I believe in you an’ all, not only what you’re saying
Janis: 🥺
Jimmy: Off you go, girl, you can do it
Janis: So can you, Jim
Jimmy: You
Janis: I love how stupid you make me, for the record
Jimmy: You would say something I want to hear more about when I’ve no time to
Janis: Remind me to tell you later?
Jimmy: Owt to make the school secretary jealous
Janis: everything
Jimmy: Miss you ‘til then, my dear
Janis: I’ve been missing you the entire time
Jimmy: I’ve dreamt about you all night
Janis: I’m jealous of my pillow
Jimmy: Least you know where it is, I’ll never find that random dickhead’s car
Janis: What I’m hearing is you want me to go and take this out on the pillow too
Jimmy: You heard right, that’s exactly what I want
Janis: and you didn’t change the sheets, did you
Jimmy: Might not ever again
Janis: you can’t, not until you’ve experienced me the way I intend to you
Jimmy: I promise I won’t
Janis: how it feels against my, smells, tastes
Janis: when you made me cum, I took my pants off and basically suffocated myself with them, I couldn’t need you more
Jimmy: Challenge accepted, I’ll make you need me more right through that meeting, telling you all about my dreams just before we head in
Janis: I deserve that, or, do I, one way or the other… fuck
Jimmy: You do
Janis: You
Jimmy: Fuck
Janis: Later, boy
Jimmy: Best behaviour again, I’ll act how I’m dressed 👔
Janis: Uncalled for, bringing that to my attention
Jimmy: Very called for, killing me being dressed at all
Janis: I’m dressed too
Janis: I wanted to cheer you up
Jimmy: You’ve a real knack for it
Janis: ‘Til we’re ready
Janis: and we know what the fuck we’re doing
Jimmy: That’ll be the day
Janis: Not holding my breath for myself
Jimmy: You know I can’t hold mine ‘round you, only time I breathe
Janis: I end up crying, be about right
Jimmy: Start me off
Janis: I did
Janis: explain that to your boss if I have to, he’ll see how mental I am and what you’re dealing with
Jimmy: Bring my lap to his attention, you’ll be jealous of him an’ all
Janis: He can dream on if he reckons he’s getting a spot there
Janis: met him at enough functions, he’s no one’s rebound, not even a crisis, too far
Jimmy: Be a twist on a mid-life one for him, going for somebody who ain’t a lass young enough to be his daughter and paid about as much as she’d be if the poor cow babysat her for a job instead
Janis: Imagination must die after enough years wearing 👔 loosen your tie ‘fore it cuts off blood supply to your 🧠 quick
Jimmy: None there to be cut off, tah for that
Janis: Always thinking of you, mate
Jimmy: I’ll be of you, lively imagination, still, me
Janis: Why they pay you more than a babysitting secretary 📸🎨💸
Janis: Still have the proof of your imagination on my phone
Jimmy: I’d say sorry to the poor dickhead whose back you’re about to rest it on but I’m not
Janis: I’m nicer when I’m in a better mood, liable to break their back else, should be thanking you
Jimmy: I’d rather you did
Janis: Break backs or thank you 🤔
Jimmy: What kind of question’s that?
Janis: You might be feeling murderous 
Janis: but you know exactly how much I appreciated every photo, I showed you
Jimmy: It’s obvious how I feel
Jimmy: [showing her via another pic rn]
Janis: please
Janis: wait, wrong one, thank you thank you thank you
Jimmy: Don’t feel wrong hearing please off you an’ all
Janis: I know how you feel about best behaviour
Jimmy: You’re so good at it, there’s no other way to feel
Janis: You’re so
Janis: I missed this with you
Jimmy: You’re 
Jimmy: stay with me
Janis: I’m here
Jimmy: Be here always
Janis: You
Jimmy: You
Janis: You know we can’t be out of each other’s lives, it’s impossible now
Jimmy: I’ve no life without you, you’re part of everything
Janis: He wants me gone but I wouldn’t know how to start, where to start cutting, without fucking you up in the process and I can’t
Jimmy: He don’t get it, nobody can but us
Janis: There’s only the one way I know of and I know what that would do to whoever I left behind who still gave a fuck so it doesn’t even count
Jimmy: We’ll find our own way
Janis: one that ends up with none of us dead, that has to be best, in the end, how can it not
Jimmy: And the best’s what bigheads like us do, there’s nowt to worry about
Janis: 🤏
Jimmy: It’ll be okay in the end
Janis: I’m going to listen and believe you
Jimmy: Me an’ all with my own bollocks, might just work
Janis: I really do believe in you, it’s myself I don’t trust
Jimmy: Long as I do in you and you do in me
Janis: When you said that this could be a secret
Janis: do you think it’s fair, you can tell the truth
Jimmy: I don’t know what to think
Janis: fair
Jimmy: Fair according to Bob is me hating and having fuck all to do with you
Janis: Maybe it is
Jimmy: He reckons I’m not reacting how I should, but I don’t know how else to than I have done, or ‘course I’d do things different 
Janis: ‘Course
Janis: it’s not your fault
Jimmy: There’s blame to chuck at me, I ain’t without fault for what’s gone on
Janis: no, it’s me
Janis: I’ve pushed this, every time
Jimmy: Don’t give us the it’s not you it’s me speech
Janis: I ain’t but you just said you don’t know how else to be
Jimmy: Nor do you, how’s it your fault?
Janis: Don’t I though, really
Janis: or am I just giving myself that free pass
Jimmy: Come on
Jimmy: What, you’re that massive twat now? Were piss easy, we’d all know what we were doing
Janis: Alright, nah, I still feel like I’ve got no fucking clue but you’re the only one who’s going to believe that or care that it’s the truth
Jimmy: I’ll be the only one then, you’ve got me, whatever fucking happens
Janis: I just
Jimmy: Go on
Janis: I don’t know
Janis: except I hate who I am
Jimmy: I love you, let that be enough for a bit, why can’t it?
Janis: What about Bobby?
Jimmy: I’ll talk to him again, keep on
Janis: Say what, we don’t know what we’re doing, we don’t have anything to say to them
Jimmy: There’s the truth, if I’d told him more of it before now, he might have a clue where I am and what I’m trying to do
Janis: That’ll confuse him more than anything
Jimmy: Can join the club, I’ll buy us all matching jackets
Janis: He’ll think we’re getting back together, how we were
Jimmy: Why don’t we?
Janis: Come on, Jimmy, you know why, all the whys
Jimmy: None of ‘em mean we can’t have another go, not to me
Janis: I’ve never been able to pretend he doesn’t exist, we can’t start now
Jimmy: You said you love me, miss me
Janis: I do
Jimmy: We’re still married, we could still make us work
Janis: What about the baby, that we’ve never talked about
Jimmy: All the more reason to try again, be a family again
Janis: You don’t want it, you didn’t when we made it
Janis: and I’ve been torturing myself about trying to do the right thing for you ever since but I can’t
Jimmy: It were different then, I weren’t right, my head weren’t
Janis: Our heads are still fucked up 
Jimmy: But my tablets’ll only take a month to kick in when they give ‘em me, we’ve ages before the baby
Janis: and I promised Libi that we weren’t, that I wasn’t doing anything like this
Jimmy: We can talk to her
Janis: No, not like this
Janis: There’s so much we actually have to do
Jimmy: How? 
Jimmy: What do you want me to do? Tell us and I will
Janis: There’s appointments, there’s plans, you’re doing what you’re meant to
Janis: I have to go and 
Janis: try to work this out
Jimmy: Please don’t go, Janis
Janis: Time, then, not space
Jimmy: Okay, time
Janis: I’ll be reachable but I feel like I haven’t had a second since this happened
Janis: poor me, I know but I need it, okay
Jimmy: You heard, it’s okay
Jimmy: I’ll make myself be okay with it
Janis: Okay
Janis: This ain’t going to sound like a genuine question but it is, alright
Casey: Alright, what
Janis: If I have something awful to say, do you want to do it in person so you can kill me or do you want me to stay away so you don’t end up in jail
Casey: depends how bad
Janis: It isn’t about the baby, can say that much now
Casey: Libi can’t have got us chucked out already, be a record
Casey: nevermind proper ungrateful after yesterday
Janis: She’s at the doctors, your brother is giving her panic attacks, she’ll live though
Casey: that ain’t the news neither then
Janis: I’ll just, say it, come back if you want me to
Janis: don’t need to make it some fucked up guessing game here
Janis: You were right, that he’d want me back
Casey: ‘course he does, but you’re not going
Janis: I’ve led him on then
Casey: it’ll take him ages to get his head ‘round being just your mate, he might not do proper, same as I never really
Casey: but that ain’t your fault
Janis: No, it is my fault this time
Janis: fuck ‘this time’ it was with you too
Casey: how was it, what’s it you reckon you’ve done
Janis: I know, it’s not his mistake
Janis: we sexted
Casey: you what
Casey: when were this
Janis: Last night and this morning
Casey: last night, why the fuck are you only telling us now
Janis: Because I thought I could get away with it, bother neither of you with it, I guess
Casey: how the fuck could you come home to me, piss off a bit ago and carry on the same leaving me here
Janis: I don’t know
Casey: yeah you do, it weren’t once
Janis: Because I thought I could, yeah, obviously
Janis: but I can’t and it’s fucked everything up so here I am to spread the news
Casey: don’t let me stop you, like, it didn’t having us next to you last night
Janis: I don’t want it
Casey: I don’t want you if you’re gonna fucking lie to me
Janis: I don’t blame you
Casey: piss off if that’s all you’ve got to say for yourself
Janis: I’m not trying to insult you with excuses disguised as apologies, it changes nothing now
Casey: you’ve done worse than insult me already, who cares
Janis: There’s nothing I can say to make it alright, take it back
Janis: I can go, keep paying my share of the flat, that’s it
Casey: do what you like, you did yesterday and however long ago you went for it the second time
Janis: Do you think I should get back with him then?
Casey: yeah, why not, he’ll clearly still have you
Janis: you’re really done then
Casey: you are, more like
Casey: I get it, all I was for you were a wake up call for him, job done
Janis: Fuck you, I couldn’t have run away from him faster just then even though I know what it means and you just want me to go back and end up numb and pretend none of this happened
Casey: don’t give me none of that bollocks, you wasn’t numb when you was fucking him over the phone, nor were he or you’ll not have bothered with round 2
Janis: and how long do we give it this time, a month?
Janis: I can’t go back, I didn’t think I was
Casey: you should’ve asked yourself the question before you got here, love
Casey: be lucky he lasts the month how you’re pissing him about, I fancy topping myself and I ain’t even as gone in the head
Janis: well if I weren’t currently housing someone else, I would’ve already, alright
Casey: no it’s not alright, don’t you fucking dare say that to me
Janis: everyone gets to be suicidal but me
Janis: I’ll go back to him so he doesn’t fucking kill himself
Casey: yeah, poor you
Casey: you went crawling back to him soon as you decided to chat to him like that, I’m the cunt who has to go back to having nothing
Janis: how about this, I leave and you get to go back and rescue him because I can’t live like that again
Janis: that’s the best I can give at this point
Casey: fuck you, you said the other day you’d not take her off me, the spit and blood ain’t even dry on that promise and you’re breaking it
Janis: I’ll write a will, have her, I mean it
Casey: do it then, I fucking would
Janis: Good, my mum doesn’t need another dead kid’s kid to raise
Casey: another kid don’t need a dead mum but you don’t care about that
Janis: clearly, I don’t care about anything
Casey: go, I’ll clean up the mess you’ll make of him, can take the place of the job they’ve just told us I’ve lost, all I know how to do anyway’s 1 or the other
Janis: For fuck’s sake
Janis: Maybe this time it’ll be different and I can be happy for you
Casey: tell yourself any of us can be happy now, you twat
Janis: Happier without me is guaranteed at this point
Casey: bollocks, you wanna die ‘cause you don’t know how to hack living with what you’re doing
Casey: nowt to do with anybody else and you’re doing none of us no favours
Janis: Changing your mind would be another selfish thing to do
Janis: I’m not doing anything, it’s done
Casey: what’s one more, keep racking ‘em up, who the fuck else am I if not just cannon fodder for you
Janis: I thought you understood
Casey: I’ll never understand you having your cake and eating like you’re my dad at an office party when you could’ve just told me
Janis: I am telling you, if I’d have told you whilst I was doing it, I would’ve come to my senses and not
Casey: I doubt you were all night, when you came home, and I know you wasn’t, you should’ve said, I’d have got my head ‘round a slip when I told you to do anything to keep him going, but nah, you had to take the piss
Janis: Both of you expect me to not love the other the second you decide, like it’s a tap I can turn on and off
Casey: I’ve never expected that of you, we’ve bloody talked before about how I don’t, jesus
Janis: You use it the opposite way ‘round, tell me to go back to him, say I bloody have to, do you think that that’s possible after everything we’ve been through, seriously
Casey: alright, it’s my fault
Janis: obviously fucking not
Casey: then don’t put it on me, you did this
Janis: I never came here saying or thinking it was a defendable action, I’ve not once tried to say it was anything but a massive fucking mistake
Casey: well done, you can state the obvious
Janis: I can’t do any of the things you could want me to do
Janis: namely undo it, so, what
Casey: why is it up to me to give you an answer
Janis: because it’s always up to me
Casey: nah, you’re on about leaving it all up to me when you piss off
Janis: you don’t want to be left with nothing
Janis: you don’t want me
Casey: I’ve got nothing, I told you, you and her is all I care about
Casey: more than him, that’s why we’re here
Janis: She’s not done anything wrong
Casey: she’s not mine if you’re not, all of us know that
Janis: then want me
Casey: stop
Casey: you only did this a sec ago, you was probably still turned on when you opened your phone to tell me and you’re asking us to get over it
Janis: no I weren’t
Janis: desperation isn’t fun, is it, at least my death threat isn’t imminent or directed squarely at you and what you do or don’t do
Janis: I thought, whatever I fucking thought don’t matter, and he’s just and now I don’t know what to do and he said I can have time not space, what does that even mean
Casey: it’ll mean don’t run away how you used to, what he’s always scared of
Janis: it means keep showing up and we’ll never talk about it again, just like the baby, just like everything else there’s no answer to
Casey: I warned you he can’t hack none of it, again and again I have, what else can I do
Janis: nothing but what else can I
Casey: I dunno, keep your legs closed and open your mouth so words can come out instead of doing owt else with it
Janis: tah, very helpful
Casey: I can’t help you if you won’t let me
Janis: I weren’t trying to fix him by fucking him, not actually that up my own hole, whatever I say
Janis: it happened because he seemed like he did years ago, fixed by himself
Janis: should’ve known it were placebo
Casey: he ain’t getting fixed by you topping yourself neither
Janis: I’m terrified how bad this could be, Case
Janis: what if he don’t just go numb this time
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sweetest-honeybee · 3 years
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I watched Xisumas recent vid and I cannot tell y’all in words how much I loved the interior of his flower shop like bro I had a huge smile on my face it was so lovely 🥺☺️
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mypassionsarenysins · 3 years
Text
disremembered.
Past!Steve Rogers x Reader, Bruce Wayne x Reader. 
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Summary: Steve Rogers had lived his life, it was only fair for you to live yours right?
Author’s Note: okay so another crossover and for this I’m thinking of Christian Bale batman, so read at your discretion. It’s also a lil sad and some happy parts. Thank you to @stuckonjbbarnes @honeyloverogers and @buckysmischief
Steve stared at the roof looking at the white pristine celling. 
He waited for the other person on the other side of the room to finish with her nightly routine. 
He kept staring at the ceiling closing his eyes and for a brief moment he felt you.
His mind had the ability of taking him back to that night, the moment he decided to leave her. Trying to conquer an illusion, a fleeting moment of what should have been. 
His mind told him to do it, but his heart. 
His heart was the most unforgiving part of himself that never really let it go. 
And now here he is age clear on his face, wrinkles in his one youthful hands that made you laugh, that held you when you cried, now old and lonely. 
He had everything he was looking for, or so he thought. 
A knock on the door interrupted his thought making Steve get up from the bed looking outside the window as he makes his way to the front door. 
He opens the door smiling at the man on the other side who had his infamous frown plastered on his face. 
“Come in please,” Steve motions to the living room but the man on the other side doesn’t make a move, for a moment it looks like he could burn at the mere thought of walking through the door. 
“No,” the man says anger written clear on his features. 
“Bucky you’ve been here before,” Steve motions with pleading eyes, but Bucky stays unmoving. 
“You really think I wouldn’t know that Scott wouldn’t tell us what you wanted to do,” Bucky says as he gets more and more exasperated. 
“It’s not what you think,” Steve please as he closes the door and walks to the porch Bucky leaving as much distance as possible. 
“No it’s much worse,” Bucky says. 
“Sam and I receive this call from Scott saying that you met to get back to the past to get back to her.” Bucky says. 
“You already lived your life Steve, you have a wife, kids, and grandkids.” Bucky motions at the house. 
The house that he build but thought of you in every detail, when Peggy would ask about why he would say. 
“Because its meant to be that way.”
She never really mentioned it again but the essence of her was in the house of all time. 
From the constant need to have sunflowers in the kitchen because, 
“Steve if there is gonna be flowers in the kitchen its gonna be sunflowers.” You said softly as you unwrapped the bright flowers from the brown paper.
Or how he still kept the little folded handkerchief you embroided because, 
“That is more your style Steve.” You said softly as you stand on your toes and kiss him softly on the lips.
After all those years Steve could still see you, feel you, and on some night he can almost touch you. 
“Bucky I don’t think you understand, this, this is meant to be hers,” Steve says looking up at the house that took him a good decade yo built.
When Peggy asked him why the changes to the house he was never brave enough to admit that the house never felt his and Peggy’s, he always felt this should’ve been your house with him. 
“This is not her house Steve! She already has a home,” Bucky says accentuating each word he said. 
“Her home, with her fiancé” Bucky said louder coming face to face to the man in front of him. 
The words surprised Steve more than it should. He knew he had no right to complain at this point. You were free the moment he left her, he assumed you would move forward, but he felt the slight betrayal in his core. 
But who was Steve to judge when he was the first one to move forward. 
Still that voice in the back of his mind that always brought you up was, angry, to say the least. 
Steve takes a deep breath and takes a seat over the rocking chairs on the front porch. Another touched you where enamored by. 
“Steve, when we get our house he have to put rocking chairs in the front porch.” You said sternly yet a smile shone on your face. 
“Why is that sweetheart?” Steve ask as serially as he can with you sitting on his lap. 
“Because I know we are growing old together, and you of all people should know that people of a certain age like rocking chairs on the porch, old man.” You say that last part and leap out of his lap running away you giggles is all that can be heard in the apartment as Steve laughs and runs after you. 
“Tell me about it,” Steve motions to the chair, but Bucky stays still.
“Steve you just have to let it go,” Bucky tries to appeal Steve but he knows it’s a lost cause. 
Bucky sighs and sits on the step on the porch, his back turned to Steve as he recalls the news and everything that lead up to it. 
“She actually left New York a couple of weeks after you left,” Bucky recalls with sadness on his eyes. 
Bucky remembers how betrayed he felt, you where leaving him, just like Steve. Of course now he realizes it was for the best, but at the moment, he had a different mind set. 
“You are gonna leave me to? Huh? My so called new sister, just gonna walk away like him?” Bucky yells angry as you turn to him shocked face and tears on your eyes. 
“You don’t get to compare what happened,” You drop the box in your hands and sob. Your sobs clear Bucky’s head for a minute. 
“Steve left us Bucky, he left to follow his dreams, I am allowed to try to move forward!” You yell from the place on the floor as you hug your knees. 
Bucky slowly approaches you realizing that this is bigger than he could’ve ever imagined. He realized in that moment that he was supposed to be Steve’s past, but you, you that opened you life to him. 
You so soft and tender, never an ounce of judgment or regret of letting him in. 
You that tenderly took care of him, welcome him into your home, and called him your brother to anyone who would listen. 
You where supposed to be Steve’s future. 
And now all you both had left was the whole Steve Rogers left. 
“Don’t cry petal, I’m sorry,” He says tenderly as he reaches for you slowly. 
“Do you think that I want to leave my home. My whole life behind.” You say as you calm down and look at Bucky with sadness, but love for him. 
“I know Steve left you too, but you can come with me to Gotham. “ you say as you look at him with determination. 
“But New York is my home,”  Bucky tries to reason. 
“But it’s bit mine anymore,” You say softly as you hold his hand. 
“I am always here Bucky, I just can’t be here anymore.” You motion at the left overs of you heart. 
“I know I am just afraid,” Bucky rest his head on your shoulder. 
“I know but I am you sister James Barnes,” you say determination clear in his voice. 
“ Also someone’s gotta keep an eye on Sam, he’s your responsibility now you know? Handling Captan Americas’. That should be you new name.” You joke making Bucky laugh. 
“Alright let’s finish this before the pigeon arrives and see us sad. He can stand people being sad, he always has to be so happy and sunshine-y.” Bucky says as he stands up and hold his hand out for yours. 
You smile up at him as he hold you up he envelops his arms around you hugging you desperately. 
“Thank you, for being here, I am really going to miss you,” he says softly. 
“I am always here, never forget that,” you whisper. 
As you continue to hug the front door announce loudly the third person of the party arrived. 
“So I go out for pizza in the cold streets of New Yorker and this is how I find you red eyes and hugging like we are never gonna see each other again?” Sam asks leaving the two large pizzas on the table. 
“As if you could get rid so easily of me,” you say as you open you arms, Sam jumping in. 
“Never petal, we are family here.” Sam says as Bucky hums in agreement. 
“Okay that’s enough of the mushy stuff we gotta get this lady to Gotham city!” Sam yells as you all laugh. 
In that moment Bucky felt like everything would be alight and true to your word, even if you had to fly to New York or Louisiana, you where there even of it was for something as simple as birthdays, holidays, or just because Bucky was missing you. 
Bucky tells the story more of a reminder of who you where, than to tell Steve about you. 
From the past years Bucky visited Steve he never brought you up. He felt like his loyalty was to you. 
“So she left everything behind huh?” Steve wonder heaviness in his heart, but a small light shining knowing Bucky was never really alone. 
“I think thats what she needed to heal.” Bucky says standing up. 
“She was always there, at the end of the line.” Bucky says harshly and with protection written all over the place. 
“Bucky,” Steve stands up to reach him. 
“I need to go weddings gonna be next week and I can’t wait. I’m giving her away,” Bucky says as a smile makes a way to his eyes. 
“You know I always thought I’d be you at the end of the altar.” Bucky says as he starts leaving. 
“Also if you really need to know you should look at social media, everything you want to know about him is there.” Bucky says walking out suddenly he stops. 
“Tell the misses I said goodnight.” Bucky says looking up at the house one last time as he gets on his bike driving away leaving a trail on dirt behind him. 
Steve sits there for a while emotions swirling in his being. 
As he pulls his cellphone out he hears soft steps and he looks up to look at his wife. 
“Steve you’ve been here for an hour what happened?” Peggy says taking the chair next to him concern on his face. 
“I just- Bucky came over, he just needed someone to talk to.” Steve says as he tries to smile hiding yet more emotions form his wife. 
He was good at that, he guessed. 
“Oh strange he didn’t stay,” she shrugs standing up. 
“Yeah guys stuff you know,” Steve tries to laugh as Peggy smiles at him. 
“Oh this also arrived on the mail today,” Peggy hands him a white luxurious envelope. 
“Alright I’m going to bed,” She says as she kisses his cheek. 
“Okay I’ll be there in a minute.” He says as she heads back inside. 
He looks at the envelope and think nothing of it thinking its an invitation from Pepper. As he opens it and reads it he stays silent his eyes roaming all over the written words. 
            You are cordially invited to the wedding of 
                               Bruce Thomas Wayne                                              And                                (Y/N)(Y/M/N)(Y/L/N)
    Who’s nuptials will be taking place in
The Metropolitan Museum of Art.
    Located at 1000 5th Ave, New York, New York. 
Steve can’t even finish reading as he drops the paper. 
Anger and sadness fill him as he stares at the mocking piece of paper on the floor. 
He takes out his phone opening google and typing Bruce Wayne and thousands of result pop up. He opens the wikipedia article and starts reading. After reading some information he looks at the some pictures and he sees it. You and him on a red carpet for one of his galas or something smiles all over as he click the article states very clear that since you went public with him he was seen visibly happier. He can’t help but mad at him, you, and specially himself. 
He sits again in the rocking chair, the one you where meant to grow old together on, and stare at the horizon thinking of you and what to do with the wedding invitation at his feet. 
How could he get back to you?  
332 notes · View notes
husbandohunter · 3 years
Note
Your Stardew Impact has given me a serious brainrot and I couldn’t sleep on it so here
Imagine the boys getting Isekai to Stardew and meeting their (soon-to-be) s/o a.k.a the farmer who found them in the mines and dragged them out.
It’s basically the same as the original but the reader lives in Stardew universe from the beginning.
The Outlanders who trespassed the Stars [Stardew Valley + Genshin Impact]
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Synopsis: You were a simple farmer who lived a simple life before crossing paths with these outlanders. A tale of greetings and farewells tells a story that loving someone was like looking at the stars in the sky; a sense of warmth amidst darkness, where the dots connect no matter what distance it was. But just like stars, they were meant to be unobtainable.
(Basically what happens if the boys get Isekai'd)
Genre: fluff, angst (faceapalm didn't mean to)
Characters: Childe, Xiao, Zhongli
(A/n): Hi anon, haha I didn't think the Stardew Impact series would be this enjoyable. Allow me to serve your brainrot. But just for future references there is a character limit! Also it long, a pro tip to use ctrl+F and type in the name :>
======================
~Childe's Story~
The day you met Childe was perhaps during the most fortunate yet unfortunate hour of your life.
Winter comes by, your fields were left dry, what else was there to do other than mining? You were aiming to build a new Barnhouse before summer comes, fishing only made average income thus you decided to take your pickaxe and hope to run into some diamonds, gold or even better: prismatic shards. However, expensive items could only be found in the deepest parts of the mountains, where dangerous monsters lurk by.
When peeking over the abandoned minecart you so carefully shielded yourself with, you began contemplating whether you've just dug yourself a grave instead. The whole area became infested, you weren't in the best condition and on top of all that, you were out of food.
You decided to make a run for it, with the treasures and goodies at hand, you couldn't give up. However, things only got worse when purple mist began taking over your vision, signaling a lava bat wave drawing nigh. It was thanks to your greed that you ended in such a predicament but it was also your greed that brought you to him.
"W-Woah!!"
You tripped with your toe pointing downwards into a pile of wooden crates. The bats swarmed in shortly after, daunting around the area above but you couldn't afford to look. Your face was down to the ground and you could only rely on your ears regarding their whereabouts. As if Yoba heard your prayers, the lava bats could not seem to find you, confusing them to think you've escaped. And so, they flew away.
"I'm never doing that again," The sudden impact was excruciating, you were sure that your lip bled due to biting too hard. At least the floor felt somewhat soft, cotton-like and warm enough to be comforting. Yet, for some reason it was also a little…bony?
"…Mn…."
Your body jerks up like a springboard when you felt something shifting. A man, no older than his twenties, no older than you, lays sprawled out under your form. He was beginning to stir and you panicked when a pair of blue cerulean eyes pointed into your seemingly shocked ones within the close parameter.
Too close.
The man gives a cheerfully wry chuckle, you could practically feel his breath almost, "Well this is quite unexpected, didn't think I'd end up in this position," he jests, soon his expression began to tighten into a grimace, "Mind getting off me though? With all due respect miss, you're a little-…heavy."
You scrambled to the side while still kneeling, "What the hell, who are you?!"
"Hm," The man didn't answer, instead he pushed himself upright and turned his attention to examine the surroundings, "Where are we?" He paused when he noticed how the ceiling was made of rocks, "Wait, is this a cave?"
"Ninety two floors deep and surrounded by monsters," you sighed in frustration while rubbing your head with your palm, "Seriously, whoever you are you shouldn't be here, especially if you're not even carrying the necessary supplies."
"Hey, I just got here. I'm just as confused as you," he puts his hands up in a defensive gesture, "But how strange," he mutters to himself, lowering his arms ever so slightly before pinching his chin in deep thought, "I swear it was the right portal…or maybe it was the other one? Hmmm, could it be the effect of the hidden seal?"
I have so many questions. You sweatdropped nervously. Here you were, hours spent to get to the deepest parts of the earth and looking like a cavewoman while his clothes were practically untouched, nor did they seem to be a recognizable fashion. You've seen many odd events within Stardew Valley but not to this extent, "Alright you know what, let's forget about it for now. We need to get out of here before those lava bats come back for us again. Otherwise we're toast," you gestured to the lava pool, "Literally."
He gave another one of his gleeful smiles, you wondered if he was afraid at all, "Sounds like a solid plan to me. Judging by the equipment you're wearing, you seem to have been here for a while. You know your way around?"
Figures that he doesn't know, you thought, "I'll lead."
"Glad we're on the same page. Though, we've only just met and yet you're still willing to help a stranger like me," he mentions in an off-handed manner, perhaps he wasn't used to generosity ever since being recruited as a harbinger, "But not that I'm complaining. You have my thanks, comrade."
"(Y/n)," you tell him, "That's my name. I'm a farmer that resides in this town."
"I see. A town it is then," he inquires, "Call me Childe, as where I'm from, not sure how to answer that anymore."
"What do you-"
But before you were able to question him further, a hoard of lava crabs were spotted crawling it's way towards where Childe sat. He shot you a confused look and turned to the direction, amusement sparks in his eyes,
"Lava crabs? You've got to be kidding me," your arms have already grown tired long ago, at this rate, you figured it may be best to pay a visit to Harvey's doctor office and check up for any muscle strains that have occured during the process. You most likely have considered how heavy your items felt now. Partaking in another battle would only make it worse.
"Ah an opponent, to think this place wouldn't have a set of new monsters to fight. I was growing tired of beating up hilichurls all the time."
His casual reaction caused you to scrunch up your nose in disbelief, "We're being ganged up on and your first response was that???"
Childe paid no mind, instead he propelled himself back to his feet using his trained reflexes and swaggered towards the crowd, "Relax girlie," Stopping just after a few steps, he turns his head ajar over his shoulder with a floppy smirk spreading his lips, "I've got this."
You held in your breath, wondering if you could trust this man. For now all you could do was sit back and hopefully regain some of your strength while observing by the stacks of crates that were abandoned years ago. The lava crabs formed a straight line in front of him, they were smart creatures, cornering their prey in a very well strategized form so that trespassing was out of the question. Childe wasn't intimidated in the slightest, he merely looked down at them with hooded eyes, flexing his fingers for preparation.
"Lava crab…in other words you're of the pyro element," the harbinger holds out his hand in front of him, trying to cultivate the shape of his bow, "A shame. This fight would end much shorter than I anticipated."
However, when he expected his element to manifest, nothing came out. Childe was left dumbfounded.
"Don't just stand there," you screeched, "Do something!!!"
"Wait," he halts you and tries to summon his bow again. Once, twice, as the crabs grew closer still there was nothing, "My powers…they're gone?!"
"Take this," left without a choice, you pushed yourself towards him and shoved Neptune's glaive into his grasp. He examines it with curiosity, but you knew this was also your own well-being you were entrusting him, "It's really easy to use, just-"
When a crab leapt forward, you ran back to create some manageable space for Childe to move in. He delivers a powerful slice using one arm, hitting the crab's weak spot while tossing it toward the side until a dent was formed in the wall. Your mouth parts, fast, he was fast, you didn't even have the time to blink. It was as if he knew the glaive more than you did. Though, the assumption wasn't that far from the truth. Childe was well adept with swordsmanship as he was an expert with many other melee weapons. Which is precisely the reason why he chose the bow as his main, a ranged device, the challenge to keep him on his toes. Just like he was now.
"He wasn't lying when he said he could fight," you watched in mesmerization, each single blow he delivered deemed equivalent to three hits on your part. Childe was both powerful and swift. He was formidable. The way he effortlessly deflected his opponents despite not having an enchantment ring made you forget how much of an idiot he was earlier before. Soon, the lava crabs began to lessen, leaving what remained of their dusted corpse while some retreated back into the depths of the cave.
"Not bad, it was kind of fun!" Childe laughs exasperatedly, glancing at his blue reflection upon the marred blade, "It's been a while since I last used a sword, and still haven't gone rusty either," he hands you the hilt, "Thanks for letting me use it by the way. You seriously got yourself a sick weapon."
"Keep using it for now, I think I'm a little too worn out to handle it," you say regretfully and pointed your nose towards the ceiling, "The mist hasn't disappeared so there's probably gonna be more monsters we'll encounter soon."
Childe looks up as well, "Huh I was wondering what that meant."
"By the way I've never seen anyone fight like that. Exactly what kind of place are you from?" You finally ask, "You somehow ended up in a cave, without anything to defend yourself with and it's not like you know your way out either. Are you...from another world?"
"Huh didn't think you'd draw that conclusion so quick," he comments jokingly, "Guess there's no reason to hide it anymore. Indeed I am from another world, at least, that's what I can tell so far. I've never encountered these types of monsters either."
You couldn't help but be taken aback by his honesty, "That was strangely easier than I thought...."
After escaping the cave, you introduced Childe to the wizard who lived in Cindersap forest, M. Rasmodius. He was extremely intrigued by the concept of an outlander and seemed happy to be of assistance. Since helping others was the culture of Pelican Town, you commissioned Robin to build a small cabin for him to live in temporarily. In return, Childe must accompany you back to the caves and make up for your losses. It was a mutual benefit since he had the opportunity to fight as well.
Childe befriended the townsfolk rather easily. On friday nights where everyone goes to the Saloon to enjoy their time, he would be found in the other room playing pool with the gang (Sam, Abigail and Sebastian)-- you as well when he managed to drag you along with him.
Crashes at your place when you were busy with the farm. You can bet that he would pop up suddenly midday through your window, “Can you use the door like a normal person???” But despite how much you get irritated by this habit, all bygones are bygones the moment he starts a conversation.
He sticks around as you carry your hay batches, sharing his stories. How the organization he worked in was a powerful militaristic force that had authority over many countries. But you didn't see him as a brute since he only joined for the sake of his parents, for the sake of his siblings and their dreams.
You thought of your grandfather who also once told you to pursue your dreams: live a peaceful life away from urban society. However, as long as the harbinger was with you, there wasn't much option for 'peace'.
"Tell me again why you dragged me out here? You know thatI still have a lot of work to finish back in the farm," you trekked your feet through the thick icy sheets with one hand clutching the zipper near your collarbone. It was incredibly windy in Cindersap forest and Childe happened to have convinced you to leave the comfort of your home for 'a surprise favour'. He purposely made a vague statement to draw in your curiosity but if you had refused-- well, that would have led to constant nagging on his part.
"You'll see," is what he said, it was what he told you through this whole ordeal. He lifted his chin to feel the frosty air against his face, "There's this one activity I wanted to try out. Back in Snezhnaya, I used to bring my brother to go skating out on the lakes. It's deadly freezing there so the ice is pretty thick to work on. Haven't done any of that since I joined the Fatui."
You shot him a deadpan glare, "That's why you brought me out here? Why didn't you just go by yourself?"
"Now that's cold (Y/n),” you rolled your eyes at the pun, “Can't you loosen up instead of throwing yourself in a pile of work all day?"
"It's not that I don't want to...I'm just very busy with the farm since it's the last day of the month. At least I want to do as much as I can before Spring comes."
"Haha you're right but you only live once y'know?" Childe noted happily despite your protest, "And like I said before, seize the opportunity when you see it. You never know when it will be your last."
You cocked your head to the side, "What do you mean?"
"Now let's get started shall we?" As you both reach the edge of the frozen lake, Childe takes a step forward ahead of you, "Have you ever gone ice skating before?"
"Yeah but..." You glanced at the glassy surface with skepticism, suddenly struck by hesitance. The thought of drowning made you retreat your steps right away, "I don't know Childe, it doesn't seem that safe."
"That's true if you're not careful enough," he pointed out, "Luckily you have me to help you with that."
"How does that work?"
He placed one foot onto the hardened lake and parts his mouth into a grin, "Watch."
In contrast to your cautious personality, Childe was considered to be more of a wildcard if anything. He loved adventure, just like you except his side often included bloodshed and the thrill that danger carries. You weren't sure if it was worth putting up with his antics or entertaining his idea of skating on thin ice, but you complied regardless. He had a way of delivering his words through that cheery voice you couldn't deny.
Prior to meeting him, life was boring. The corporate world was boring. You moved into your grandfather's farm in order to search for some form of fulfillment that Zuzu city couldn't give and you thought you did now that you had your very own farm, but slowly you began to pile more responsibilities than you could even count.
Everything you did, you did alone.
If it weren't for Childe, you wouldn't have learned the art of surfing on ocean waters. You never would have known the taste of mixing three different ice-cream flavours together despite what strange names they all had. Or what it felt like to mingle with the townspeople rather than mingling for the sake of business. Suddenly, everything became...fun.
Childe wanted to go far and wide. He was always running, so far ahead, somewhere beyond the stars as he could conquer the world to the point you might no longer reach him.
No longer reach him, huh. Curling your fingers into your palm, you renewed your courage and took a step onto the ice.
At the sound of boots tapping behind him, Childe spins around to see you wobble in your stance, nearly tipping over. He slid across to where you were and grasped your arm before you fell.
"Gotcha."
"Thanks," You sighed in relief, "Jeez, this is harder than I thought."
"Guess this is your first time then," he commented with a bit of jest, "Don't stress yourself over it too much, you'll be okay. I got you."
He carefully led you to the center, staying close in case you were to fall sideways again. You awkwardly tried to keep your legs straight, balancing on your own yet the fact that there was still water underneath struck fear into your nerve. It caused you to tremble and eventually skittered backwards.
"Haha ice skating isn't your forte isn't it?"
"I'm just getting started!"
He takes your hand in his before you could even protest, it was one of his many aspects that you found endearing-- the fact his impulse stems from genuine intentions, feelings, not giving them a second thought. The two of you glide using the soles of your shoes, he speeds up ever so slightly and the adrenaline begins to increase until there comes a rush of excitement, freedom. The stress you once had already forgotten once taking flight upon the ice.
"Look Childe! I'm actually doing it!" You couldn't help mentioning with a bit of youthful playfulness in your voice, "It's so smooth and fast! Almost like I'm flying!"
He smiles quietly from a distance, “See? I told you that you'll be fine.”
It was clear to many that the two of you were much closer than what meets the eye.
Childe began to notice the change in your aura. You were happier and much more soulful. Before you were always on the edge, cautious in contrast to his sanguine approach, he couldn't help but be caught off guard whenever you teased him. Or the sudden honesty that causes him to be flustered. By your side, he was no longer a Fatui Harbinger rather more of a puppy, adorable almost.
But when he saw that the reason you changed was because of him, it brought fear into his bones. Why? How did things get to this point? You were lost in a wonderland, ignorant to the blossom that had sprung inside of your chest.
Maybe it was better to be ignorant. Just live in the moment while it can still last.
"You're leaving?"
Standing at the gateway between the mountain cliffside and the starry sky, you call out to the man you've known in a way that carries more than what words could say. Because he left a mark in your years that could never be erased and here he was, trying to erase his existence completely.
Childe lets out a bitter chuckle, he didn't dare to face you, "I didn't expect you to catch up so quickly. You're quick-witted, comrade."
"It's (Y/n)," you corrected, trying to steady your voice so that he couldn't tell the expression you were making, "Why didn't you say anything? What makes you think that I'll just stay silent and let you go on your own way? This isn't a joke Childe! Don't act as if none of it matters to you because it sure as hell did to me."
His lips that held his usual smirk flattens into a straight line, "Even if I did, would it make a difference?"
The world stills. You knew the answer, he knew the answer, you just refused to admit it. One by one, the stars begin to collect themselves until a bridge was formed in front of him, on another day he would be enjoying the scenery alongside you. But today they would be for you alone to witness. The man who you spent your time with had slowly, regretfully, inevitably became a stranger. He was right. It wouldn't make a difference. You were already aware since the day you met him that he belonged to another world and you willingly offered to help him find a way home.
"You know, you could come with me."
Your eyes jolt open. His voice was so free of care. As if he was commenting on something so minor on a casual Sunday afternoon while accompanying you to the beach. But when you came face to face with the harbinger, his expression lackluster, you knew that he meant every word.
"Just you and me, we can travel across the world to our heart's content. I always thought you were an adventurer just like me and you know what, the farm life just doesn't suit you," Childe slowly extends his hand as an offer, for you it was a temptation, "So what do you think? Care to join me?
Your lip quivers. What he said sounded like a sweet dream that you so desperately wanted to take a bite out of. But even so, you thought about the townsfolk, your farm, your grandfather. Their images flashed in as if holding you back, chaining you to the ground, "I can't."
The answer pained you more than it did to him.
"Figures, this is your home after all," he huffs out, " Now do you understand? I can't leave my home either. If I did, heh, I think my siblings would despise me until the very end and I just don't want that. So no hard feelings, okay?"
You didn't reply.
"Don't worry. I won't pressure you if you don't want to," Childe turns back to the bridge, it was almost time, "Do what you have to do (Y/n), hate me if it makes you feel any better. You can even forget about me," he paused, renewing his resolve, "But I know I won't."
"Childe-"
You ran to grab his scarf only to have it ghost through your hands. He was relieved that he couldn't hear your voice, as he returned to Teyvat, Childe wonders what kind of expression did you have before he left? He'll never know.
---
~Xiao's Story~
The day you met Xiao...well, you weren't in the best of the best positions.
This was probably your sixth attempt trying to make it through all levels of the cave and reach the last floor. The quest had been sitting in your drawer for months.
Of course you didn't expect things to be easy, the fortune teller channel you watched every morning had yet to inform you with any good fortune and you would often bump into obstacles that would halt your progress.
But to be fair, sometimes the colourful ore would attract your attention and before you knew it, it was time to go.
So close yet so far. You dragged your feet tiredly against the ground. What time was it? Who knows. Judging by your state, you assumed it had already struck past 12 a.m.
However, today luck seems to have taken pity on you, just...slightly.
You puffed air into your cupped hands for the nth time, huddling deeper into the touch of your coat while trudging into the cave's cold climate. A little longer, any time soon, you kept telling yourself over and over but as if time was frozen, the wait felt like an eternity. Ah how much you wish to be in the comfort of your soft, fluffy bed right now. Though, merely visualizing the image only reminded how achingly freezing it was so you decided it was best to spare yourself from the details.
"I can't do this anymore..." leaning your head against the ice covered cavern, you whimpered, "I should have stayed home."
As you were about to shut your eyelids, something flashed by your peripheral vision. You darted towards the direction it came from, the light was a bright green hue against blue, could it be, "Warmth!"
It seems you jumped to conclusions too quickly. With impatience, you swung around the corner, expecting to find a heat source, only to meet something much more horrifying.
"KYAH!"
They stared straight into your eyes, those demonic eyes tainted by black and fangs that stuck out of the mouth like tusks on an elephant.
However, when the light evaporated you were able to have a better sense of sight, slowly revealing the monster's true form and the body of a human boy. He fell onto his back with a thud and you used this chance to calm yourself from the frightful encounter.
"He's...unconscious?"
You meekly crawled to where he lay and examined closely. Aside from the mask, there were various distinct features that stood out in his attire, his tattoo being one of them, imprinted in what looked like an eagle. You then realized how unsuitable his clothes were in this current situation. At least there were no injuries so far. But was that a good thing? This man practically came out of thin air as if some sorcery had been committed. Witches never left a good impression ever since they cursed your chicken coop. You were hesitant whether to help a stranger who could potentially be one of them or a creation they cultivated. What other explanation could there be?
"I can't leave him here, it's too cold."
Your gaze suddenly falls upon his covered face. The design, although intimidating at first, upon closer look was very alluring in it’s own way. You haven't stumbled upon anything like what the merchants had to offer in Pelican Town and the mask almost looked too foreign. Was he from the east? Curiosity eventually takes over and you gingerly reach for the mask, sliding it off his face.
"Eh...?" You gasp, taken aback by his striking appearance. A part of it made you feel this was no ordinary boy but that didn't mean he should be abandoned in this environment. It would be immoral to let him die in a place like this.
Before you could even make a noise, his eyes bursted awake, grabbing your wrist in a harsh grip. He used his other hand to push against your shoulder until you were instantly pinned on your back with no opening to escape. You choked a sharp sound as you stared with wide eyes. The man was akin to a beast, he had the expression to match it, like the glaring sharp gaze of wolves that roam at the mountain cliffside near Zuzu city and the ferocity of the demonic mask he once wore. You were breath taken but in a more fearful way as he continued to grip onto you tighter with the possible intent to harm.
"Speak!” He demanded, “What have you done to my powers and where have you brought me?"
In Xiao’s case, he was thrown into another world under the circumstances of fighting against one of Liyue’s unknown beasts. He was on high alert, thinking the fight was still ongoing.
You may look human but you could still be a threat. Xiao is the type to act upon instinct in the moment when something feels out of place. Like the spear he wields, he was trained to behave like one: to strike, strike down his foes without hesitation. Don't leave an opening for them to take the advantage. Xiao is a weapon and violence was what he knew best. He couldn't afford to lower his guard even for a minute.
You could say he left a pretty strong first impression to the point you were paralyzed. As he looked at your face, petrified and tense, he wavered and began to reevaluate things. Large doe-like eyes stare into his feline ones. They didn't seem to hold any sort of malice, was it possible for you to be the one who cursed him?
"Eeeeeek! I-I have no idea what you're talking about, let me go let me go!" you cried, "Please don't hurt me!"
Perhaps he shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions.
Xiao feels your struggle and eventually gets off to give you some space. Your reaction was understandable, he was used to it anyways. Xiao scoffed to himself, why are mortals so weak? Their strength, if compared to the adepti, was separated by a large gap (Like it always should be). Xiao kept his gaze averted to the side as you rubbed your wrist, focusing his attention elsewhere. He glanced at the vastness of the cave in front of him.
Why was he sent here? For what reason did it serve? Ever since he sealed the contract with Rex Lapis, the guardian Yaksha had never entertained the thought of leaving his country nor did he act upon it; he was far too loyal to his god to do so. But here he was, against his own will yet free from his karmic binds, stripped of his divine powers in the return of endless questions about this new found mortal-like form.
What should I do now?
Choosing not to dwell in any longer, Xiao rises to his feet and proceeds to walk the other way.
"Ah u-uhm sir, where are you going?"
If the universe wanted to test him then he'll find his own answers.
"Wait! Please wait up!"
"Tch."
Although he intended to keep going, Xiao heard you running to his direction and slowed to a halt, some mortals surely do not know their boundaries, "Hmph there's nothing timid about you. Leave me be," he demands without turning around, "Don't forget what I'm capable of."
Stay away.
"I-I know that," you retaliate weakly. Just by hearing his tone made you want to melt away and become one with the ice. He was a scary man indeed, the same one who attacked you earlier. But even so, "That doesn't mean I want you dead! If you go that way, you might freeze to death. Aren't you cold? You don't even have a coat on."
"..." Upon the mention of his predicament, his senses started to kick in. As a yaksha, Xiao wasn't able to be affected by temperature but now he felt his hands beginning to sting, trembling from it’s impact. Ah, so this is what it feels like to be cold. Still Xiao was stubborn and continued to push you away, "What happens to me has nothing to do with you. Now leave, or else."
"I-I can't do that!"
Xiao clicks his tongue in frustration. How annoying. This is why he dislikes meddling with meddlesome humans. But quite frankly, he wasn't sure how to handle your type of forwardness since most tend to back away. And so, Xiao does what he usually does, he ignores you and continues walking, eventually you'll give up on him anyway. However he hears a loud thump and whips around to see your body laying in the snow. The hours of travelling in the cave have seemed to caught up that you inevitably collapsed from exhaustion.
Knitting his evergreen brows together, Xiao lets out an irritable sigh.
...
You wake up to find the sky above your head and your coat draped over your shoulders like a blanket. Dawn was slowly rising above the distance valley, you figured it was around 4a.m in the morning. Rubbing your eyes, you eventually noticed a figure sitting across, admiring the sunrise.
"Ah it's you!"
Xiao jolts ever so slightly, peeking over his bare shoulders until you could see the sun's light casted against his golden irises. Did he stay here while you were asleep? Then, that would also mean he was also the one who carried you all the way up from sixty floors below.
“You're awake,” he noted flatly, “If that's the case, then I have no reason to stay here."
Of course, that wouldn't be the last time you saw him.
You were a tenacious human being, always so insistent in dragging him away from his lonesome personality. He resides in the forest and camps there for the time being (similar to Linus since they’re both homeless lol). But you’d always run in, DAILY and sometimes for the most stupid and mundane reasons. It could either be giving him the snacks you snatched off the table since Xiao refused to participate in parties, or fancy seashells you found on the beach. You didn’t want him to miss out on all those things of course! Although he responds with irritation, it was as if his words went through your ear and then out the other. His efforts were futile (however, he was slowly warming up without realizing).
He learns how easily his body reacts in the presence of food purely because he was hungry. You bring an extra set of blankets and pillows to his campsite when the ones you gave him wore out (he didn’t ask by the way). Xiao needed help whether he liked it or not since he no longer has his powers, hence he couldn't run away. He somehow ends up moving in to live on the small islands near your farm.
Xiao doesn't understand humans very much. Just as he was unable to understand how human emotions work. He was the almighty yaksha, Adeptus Xiao and a formidable beast that killed thousands in thousands of years, at least that's what he used to be. Even now he still has yet to figure out what he was or who he was exactly without a weapon to define his existence. He was made for battle but nowadays, he found himself watering plants, chopping down trees and throwing seeds to the chickens living in your coop. How did everything escalate to this? It baffles him, how much his life changed so drastically.
Haha, you’re Xiao of course! The greatest farming assistant I could ever have.
But above all else, the one thing Xiao couldn't understand among those universal questions, is you.
"Why are you doing all this?" Finally he asked. The urging thought had been persisting at the back of his mind ever since.
You stopped on your tracks and turned to look at him, tilting your head with a complexion made curious, "What do you mean? Ah, did I do something to bother you?"
"I didn't say that," Xiao interrupts abruptly, he folded his arms across his chest and shot you a deep contemplating gaze, " You're...incomprehensible. All I did was drag you out of that cave yet why are you so kind to me? Don't you think you're extending yourself too much just because of one little deed?"
Because to him, saving a life was the norm. He does it unconditionally just like you helped him with those same intentions. Except, Xiao had been pursuing corrupted souls behind the scenes all this time and expected nothing in return. Experiencing someone's gratitude was rather new.
You shook your head, "It wasn't small to me," a satisfactory smile melting onto your face, "I'm here at this very moment, feeling the wind against my skin and smelling the scent that nature carries, these are just the few things I cherish. It's thanks to you that I can still watch over grandpa's farm, that's why I don't feel like I'm overextending myself in any way," suddenly you beam at him, "At first I thought you were a scary person. Haha. Time flies so fast, it's amazing how much can happen in between."
"Hn, you're a simpleton. But that's not a bad thing..." he points out curtly yet softly, "Do as you wish, I won't stop you so feel free to call my name whenever you need my help. I'll be there."
Xiao also finds you to be very clumsy. He couldn't leave your side even for a minute. But that was a lie. He just grew very attached to you.
When you tell him that you've been going into the mines for a quest, he tells you that you're far from capable. So he teaches you how to wield a weapon properly. Xiao was a strict teacher and he intends to keep it that way, he wouldn’t even allow you to set foot in the mines until he finds you capable enough.
You were a meek yet optimistic person, yet you were also strong-willed.
For a place that wasn't his home, he felt it was. And he found that it was all in your presence. Those peaceful hours hiding inside the barn while a storm rages outside, you sit beside him while hugging a sheep close to your chest. Xiao learns how to feed some of them, he even brings seeds for your hen house too. If you were ever short on materials, Xiao would travel to the enchanted forest behind the wizard's tower and get them for you, no matter how late it was. Though if you went by yourself, he'd deliberately go with you despite your protest.
The minute Xiao realized how much he was attached to you, it was devastating. As if the claws of his karmic debt had come back, pulling him into the shadows once more. He was an adeptus with a contract and bound by his duty, he must choose between his god who saved him from a nightmare and you, the girl he fell for, showed him that the world was indeed a beautiful place, he was stuck in an equilibrium and he felt that the binds may even tear him apart if he kept resisting.
But when did he ever have a choice?
"Where are you going Xiao?"
When he heard your voice calling his name, the yaksha willingly pulled himself to a halt. His sunset eyes narrowing from guilt before it shuts with a trembling sigh out of his mouth. Why is it that you always appear during the moments where he desperately needs to get away from you? He planned to sneak out the door, making sure his footsteps were unheard while you slept. And by the time you woke up, he didn't have to face you, he wouldn't have to say goodbye. He won't. Even if what he was currently doing said otherwise. He will never hear himself say those words.
"Xiao?"
Yet, he cannot refuse you. Not now, not ever. You were breathtaken to see a type of expression that you never thought was possible for him to make. The creases that once formed between his slender brows, the heaviness he always carried in his expression was replaced by a sense of sentimentality. Before you could register what was happening, Xiao took his step towards the porch of your house, not once did he tear away from your attention. He slides his hand beneath your jaw and affectionately against your cheek, the fondness evident in his gaze that you almost felt imprisoned by it.
"You never fail to appear in the most inconvenient of times," He gives a weak smile, a smile that makes your heart swell. Despite how much you could drown in his honesty, you couldn’t help but feel there was something wrong, “No matter how many times I’ve tried to push you away.”
You don't know him. You don't know his history and what things he committed in the past. But as if you've known this whole time, Xiao couldn't picture you leaving him for those reasons.
“You’re gentle but you don’t let others put you down. You’re kind but you don’t allow it to be your weakness. I sometimes wonder how it is possible for anyone to be so forgiving?”
"I-I don’t understand why you’re this Xiao. Is something happening?”
He won’t tell you. He doesn’t see the reason why you need to know.
You wince when something poked the side of your neck and you realized it was a tranquilizer. You looked at Xiao with dismay, his face becoming hazier until your vision darkened and could no longer hold your own weight. Xiao caught you around the waist with one arm as you fell unconscious.
"How can you be so stupid...?"
But he speaks as if those words were meant for him.
Pulling your body closer to him, Xiao chains you down into a desperate embrace. A silent scream of desperation. His forehead pressed against the bent of your shoulder and the other arm rested his hand at the center of your back. He will relish in the shape of your body, memorizing every curve both perfections and flaws. The way you fit into his arms and the pleasant smell of nature that you taught him to love, this was the only remnant he was allowed to take. Every detail, he will remember it as if clinging to the last moments of his whole world.
If he was allowed to have a desire, let him meet you again. He prayed to a god, any god-- even if it meant damaging his oath, he will accept his punishment. He prayed to each star in the sky and if he must he'll pray to the devil himself, whatever it is, he will do it for you.
As he painfully lets go, Xiao lets his hand slide off your body until the last thing he felt was the very tips of your fingers. He settles you down gently into your bed. You belong here in this peaceful world, not the one riddled with monsters.
---
~Zhongli's Story~
The Skull Cavern was considered to be the most dangerous mine of Stardew Valley. It wasn't your intention to run into any trouble, all you wanted was to test your cool new galaxy sword on some easy monsters and then be on your merry way. At first.
Just one more floor. You say, before catching an arm sticking out a pile of rocks.
"I-Is that a person?!!!"
You dug as fast as you could, any time soon the mummies would wake up and start attacking. Quick quick! Moving the last rock, you saw the face of a young man, he was asleep but alive! and undeniably attractive oh wow *lip bite*. But despite your attempts of shaking him awake, it was fruitless and the monsters weren't waiting.
Taking out two warp totems, you raised it to the ceiling and chanted a teleportation spell.
It wasn't everyday that you brought a man to your house.
But when you did, he wouldn't be from a cave, six floors down and buried in a place filled with monsters.
"And this small black device you say is some form of communicator? That certainly is intriguing, never in my years have I heard of something so advanced."
However you were beginning to think otherwise. That this man would have been from the prehistoric ages who you managed to unbury after his thousand year slumber. Zhongli sits on the couch across from you while examining your smartphone, a term he claimed had been completely foreign. You were contemplating whether you should bother Harvey despite being past his work hour and book an emergency appointment to see if this man had a special case of amnesia.
You brushed the idea away. There was so much going on and nothing made sense, for now, you decided to settle this on your own.
"Uhm Zhongli is it?" you asked nervously, "Maybe you can try giving the name of a relative or someone you know. I can use the phonebook to see if I can find their number."
“Number?” He parroted.
You blinked a few times, making sure if you heard him correctly, “Yes, number. You know? To communicate?”
"I appreciate your kind gesture," Zhongli acknowledges in a polite manner, "But that won't be necessary. This device doesn’t seem to be at a level where it can communicate with the people from my homeland."
If he was travelling then how the hell did he end up in THE Skull Cavern is what I wanna know!
“T-Then if you don't mind me asking, where are you from?"
Zhongli takes this moment to think of an answer, aware that if he blurted something out it would not have translated in the way he wanted. But you so kindly invited him to your humble household that he felt it would only be proper to owe you an explanation, "I suppose a land from afar."
You sweatdropped, "Suppose?"
"Yes. Although I won't spare you the details since this is not your burden to bear, it’s quite difficult for me to try and remember exactly what happened," Zhongli took his chin into his hand, fingers almost covering his mouth, "Perhaps I would need search for clues in order to refresh my memory."
Oh no he really does have amnesia!!
"A-Actually why don't I just call the local doctor, I'm sure he wouldn't mind giving you a hand," you say while taking your iPhone.
"A doctor? There's no need," dismissed Zhongli, "My condition is only a minor one and I do not think I'm in a position to afford medical assistance. Besides, you have done more than enough. May you find great fortune in your years Miss (Y/n), I shall be on my way."
He pushes himself up from the couch and you watch him cross towards the door. But just when he was about to reach the space of your carpet, Zhongli pulled to an abrupt stop.
"Ah yes,” He began as if remembering something, “ Do you happen to know where the nearest Inn is located? I would need to find a place to shelter for the time being."
"..."
This was how the former god ended up being your roommate. Like Xiao, Zhongli also takes upon a human form. He needed to eat, drink and a place to sleep. He insisted that he would take the couch as well as help you with any tasks that needed to be completed during the day.
You question if Zhongli was even aware of what situation he was currently in. Answer: HE WASN'T because Zhongli is an extremely dense man. To feel embarrassed was not part of his dictionary when living with a woman.
The type to take long showers. You always find the bathroom steaming because he doesn't turn on the fan to get rid of it (but maybe you should've taught him). So when it was your turn to use the shower, the water was either lukewarm or worst case scenario, cold.
Also he somehow finds your old kettle (that your grandfather used) to brew tea even though you told him you already had a water boiler. He stated that he liked doing things the old-fashioned way, it brings him a sense of nostalgia. You couldn't understand what he meant (unless you considered that he was older than he seemed....no that can’t be it!)
Despite it all, Zhongli was incredibly polite and considerate. Tending the farm was not an easy job and you often came home with sore muscles, fatigued from running so many errands. He's knowledgeable in terms of making the best herbal mix for a soothing remedy.
You would see a warm cup, every morning before going to work and every time you come home, it was sitting on the kitchen table (if his drink had potion effects, they would be regeneration).
Gentle he was but it wasn't good for your heart.
Ever since Zhongli moved in, it became difficult to live in your own house.
There were many situations where he caused trouble despite not intending to cause disruption to your daily routine. And when he did, the repairs came out of your own pocket. One time you opened your microwave to find thick ash and burnt cinders stuck upon the walls.The entire space was a hazard and needed to be dispensed immediately since Zhongli thought that plastic-wrapped items were allowed to be microwaved. Another incident, as bizarre as it sounded, was when your vacuum cleaner zoomed out of your house...and never came back. You remembered the awkward cough he gave when you shot him a deathly glare, hence why Zhongli was not allowed to touch your high-tech devices (if you considered them high-tech) without your permission.
Even so, you couldn’t bring yourself to hate him. It was the opposite in fact. One day, all the flaws you counted suddenly became his charms. You came to find them endearing almost.
Zhongli was a handsome man. He carried himself with a distinct aura that could only be found in the rarest geodes; revealing orestones mined from the depths of a forgotten cave, sometimes in the shape of exquisite artifacts-- a type of ancient charm. Perhaps that was why people were willing to obey his every command without hesitation. Whenever Zhongli spoke, it was full of firmness and authority yet somehow deprived of arrogance. He was polite to all and does not indulge in conflict despite how tempting gossip can be in modern society. Always patient during your temperamental moments and considerate to the point you wonder if he even had any desires. He was so kind that soon enough, you couldn't help but be flustered by his presence. Forget about having a conversation, maintaining his leveled gaze was already enough of a challenge. Like staring into the sun after the morning dew. So gentle and so very comforting. But the more you linger onto the sun, it's rays will continue to set ablaze, eventually bringing you pain.
And you feared that you have grown addicted to those feelings.
Why can't he understand?
Stopping at the center of the bridge, you kept your head low while letting the anger take form into your tightened fists. The town was empty with only the sound of water flowing beneath your feet, filling the heavy air. They rippled and swayed, peaceful amongst your inner turmoil. The fact that such a miniscule attribute was able to make your blood rise was hilariously pitiful. How did you stoop to a point that even nature, the very being you've tended for a living, could bring you bitterness? Were your feelings this uncontrollable? The answer was obvious. It spiraled, violently and mercilessly as if commanded by another. There was a wave of emotions filling your heart and you could almost feel yourself drowning from the inside. If only they were as tranquil as the ones you stood upon.
"I thought I would find you here."
The voice you dreaded calls from across and you fight to keep yourself from gasping. Oblivious to it all, Zhongli proceeds to close the distance until he towered over you, looking down to your bowed head, "When you hadn't returned home without a notice, I was getting worried if something had happened. But I'm glad that wasn't the case."
Your whole face clenches.
"Is something bothering you? If you would like, we can discuss it after eating dinner. Come, I have already prepared our meal while you were gone as well as turning off the rice cooker once finished. I hope it can ease your stress since I know it can be difficult maintaining a farm like this."
"Zhongli."
He blinks hard when the sound of his name falls out of your lips. Zhongli was an experienced observer and listener, he was able to catch the glimpse of frustration that dripped from the tone you used. Relaxing his poised shoulders, Zhongli carefully asked in a reserved manner, "Have I...done something to make you upset?"
A trembled breath escaped when you breathed out. Dense. He was so dense that sometimes it made you want to crack him open.
"Tell me..." you began, "Are you also like this with other women?"
The former god sets a brief sharp pause, "I beg your pardon?"
"I'm talking about the way you act, they're...giving me all these mixed signals. We've been living together for months, we even share meals together! And sometimes you would help me with the farm and when I didn't ask, you still insisted on tending to my needs when I felt sick. I just…” you trailed off, trembling ever so slightly, "It's all perfectly normal. You’re nice to everyone. I know that. I know that!"
"(Y/n)," Zhongli whispered. They sounded like a thousand needles to your heart.
"I doubt you have the intention to put me in this situation. You're a really great person Zhongli but I sometimes can't help feeling this isn't just some roommate thing you know?" closing your eyes, you thought of your past relationships, how they started and ended, "Do any of your actions mean anything to you? Do you know how it makes me feel? Or am I just overthinking this, that it was all one-sided this whole time?"
Alas the truth spills and the air stills, bringing the waves to a halt. Peace, tranquility, nothingness. That was all you wanted. That was all you heard. It was deafening.
"I see, so that's why," Zhongli mutters to himself with eyes narrowed, "There's...something I need to confess."
After several months, he tells you everything. How his memories returned, some of them were already intact. He told you about his homeland and his true identity, that he was a god that once ruled over Liyue for six centuries before giving away the gnosis.
The reason why he hadn't said anything until now was because there will be a day where Zhongli must depart and return to Teyvat. He was a god with a contract, the circumstance didn't matter, he must stay with it until the very end of time.
Through his years, Zhongli learned to cherish his finite moments. He didn't want to taint them with troubles to come. Thinking too far ahead into the future would only bring strain.
But what he didn't tell you was his true feelings. You were a sweet woman, tender and enthusiastic about agriculture, the way your feelings extend to the earth with grace whereas many others chose to trample over without hesitation, he fell deeply in love with that side of yours. You taught him many things and showed him many sides of humanity that he had never seen before. He even discovered an aspect of himself. Like breaking a geode, revealing the beauties held inside.
Zhongli couldn't look you in the eye when your expression was covered in disbelief. He thought he hid his feelings well but it seemed that he was expressing his love in subtle and subconscious ways that eventually drove you to fall for him as well. You didn't stop him when he left the bridge. He wasn't even in your house. He chose this, he chose to set you free from his heavy presence.
And as the weight started to lift from your shoulder, you sank to your knees and wept. It was cruel of him. To give you these emotions yet he could not bring himself to stay by your side. But your heart would not allow you to hate the man you love.
Things couldn't end this way. You had to say goodbye to him, see him one last time because if you didn't, these burdens will haunt you forever.
When Zhongli looked up to the sky he saw his ending drawing near.
Three days had passed since he last spoke with you and he had no plans in seeing you again. Soon, the former god will return to his rightful place. Even though he had already given his gnosis to the Cryo Archon as Liyue already began to enter a new era, it seems that his decisions weren't his to make as he was born in a world where stars ruled above the archons. Fate-- they won't allow it. He does not belong here. If there was one thing Zhongli regretted during his time in your world, it was that he couldn't leave you a good memory before taking his departure. The sight of your large glassy eyes and quivering lips when he crushed you with the truth, he sincerely believed that they would haunt him much more than it probably did to you. But perhaps things would be easier if you despised him. Because if he had stayed and you came to forgive him, he would no longer have the strength to let go.
Despite it all love was indeed a selfish creature. He couldn't help but feel resentment towards the stars for bringing you into his life in such a mockingly sweet manner. They tied him with a contract, made him vow to his own beliefs and tested them by using you-- a bystander struck between the crossfire, eventually bringing you down into the depths of his battlefield and he thought that maybe...maybe there was hope that he could bring you with him as well.
How disgraceful for a god to let the devil tempt him so.
Zhongli was thankful that you weren't beside him. Otherwise he would dance with the ugly hope of a slim chance for you to come along. This was the best choice. It was for his-- your own good.
"Zhongli!"
The arch of his lined eyes shot upwards. As if fate had decided to give him one final test, he felt your small figure crash into him from behind and your arms coming to hug around his waist, tightly and fearfully that he felt like you would be the one who would slip away instead.
"I...I made it time," you panted, burying your nose into his clothed back, "I’m so glad...I'm so glad you're still here…!"
Your cry of relief was a thunder to his ears, a reminder that he was the main cause. Zhongli, casted by solemn smile, lifts his hand to cover over yours and grasped onto them, I'm here, he wishes to say. Yet he knew they were only temporary promises, "To come all this way despite everything that has happened. You foolish girl..."
"It's your fault Zhongli, I'm a fool because I love you! It's all your fault that I have to say goodbye," You grit your teeth as the tears fell down your face until it blended into his clothes, "Take me with you. Please. Don't leave me all alone…!"
The words he wanted to say melted into a silent gasp through parted lips. Zhongli merely clenched them back together and his hand on your hand, even tighter. He won't lie to you. At the very least, let his actions speak for him where he himself could not.
Take me with you.
Don't leave me alone.
Goodbye.
If it is fated Morax...we will meet again.
"I see," letting his thoughts echo in his mind from the distant memories, the former god begins to take a new perspective upon his wisdom, "For many years, I have experienced countless farewells from the people I've come to known," Zhongli reminisced, tilting his head back with his golden eyes against night, as if searching for some sort of answer, "And yet I never thought what it must have felt like being in their position."
"Zhongli…" you trailed off, "Then don't! I may not know everything about you but it doesn't have to be this way. At least, just answer me this, will I ever see you again?"
"I'm sorry (Y/n)," he apologized and you knew the answer. He gently pries your arms off him, turning around so he could swipe the corner of your eyes dry. There was a glowing reverence in his countenance, one that he reserved for you and only you, it was the only way for him to express the feelings that run deep in his heart, "I cannot thank you enough for coming into my life. If there will be a day when I erode from your memories, I truly hope that you will find someone more suitable than I."
"That's ridiculous," defiantly, refusedly, you protest, "No one can replace you."
Zhongli laughs sadly as the white halo outlines his whole figure, signaling that there wasn't much time left. He wonders if there was anything he could do in his last moments, a small token, something, it could even be as small as a single star in the sky, "If it is fated...we will meet again."
You watch him turn transparent until he slipped from your grasp. No longer was the man, only the dust being one with the sky. They shone brilliantly but you were left in the darkness.
487 notes · View notes
0risha · 3 years
Text
RECOGNITION
series m.list
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PAIRING : sukuna x fem!reader
SUMMARY : when an exchange student comes to jujutsu tech, Itadori is set on finding out why the King of curses is so interested in you.
TAGS : fluff, the tiniest bit of angst, jjk anime spoilers, some curse words, reader is described as a black female
NOTES : i’ve read a couple of works where sukuna meets his reincarnated lover so I wanted to try it out too, hope you enjoy. was supposed to make progress with my wips but I was in a sukuna mood. (◕ᴗ◕✿)
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Sukuna feels your presence before he sees you. It’s one of those cliché moments where time puts its hand up to signal a standstill. Yuuji can feel it too when you pass by, your long braids swishing with each step.
He’s sure that he’s never seen you before but his shared body buzzes in remembrance. All the while, his emotions are overtaken by the unbridled feeling of wanting. 
After that, Itadori never took it upon himself to ask Sukuna about the matter because the curse didn’t seem to want to.
Sukuna had become more and more suppressed, his usual pop-ups were a rare occurrence, even when Megumi was around. However, for the whole month you’d been at Jujutsu Tech, the King of curses had been intent on observing from his throne of woven carcasses, body hunched over to just watch.
You’re an exchange student, Itadori recalls Gojo’s past conversation about a new second-year that would be coming from the states. You’re strong — at first, Itadori couldn’t help but think that this revelation was the reason for Sukuna’s interest —your cursed energy being perfect sediment for close combat and dealing precise blows, all the same, Itadori could feel a grappling hook of something that seemed to be festering.
It’s dark and brooding and it stirs every time you come into contact with him. And Yuuji thinks he might go crazy because he wants to know your connection with Sukuna and it’s not like he can ask you because your aura screams — unapproachable.
His chance comes when all the first-years are assigned to a mission, you're there for extra measure. Gojo’s shaman instincts telling him that this mission was far too exceeding for him, Nobara, and Megumi.
Though just as Gojo predicted, it goes terribly wrong and Itadori keels over with an empty hollow where his heart should be.
His last thoughts are consumed with a screeching mantra of his late grandfather’s words. In the crevice of his flickering mind, they're big bold letters that drip with poisoned regret.
Before his vision goes black, the last thing he sees is a heart-broken Megumi and your face which is flooded with guilt.
When Itadori comes face to face with the King of curses, the stench of rotting death overpowering his senses, he mulls over the terms laid out by Sukuna to come back, alive.
To be reunited with his friends and become some type of savior —sukuna's words, not his— he'd give up the reigns of his body so Sukuna could talk to you whenever he chose.
For the exchange of his life, the rules weren’t bad, a part of him knows that this selfish override could cause problems for you in the future, but he still agrees.
When he wakes up to a pure white ceiling and the smell of bleach he doesn’t expect to see you towering over him. Moving up to a sitting position, his cheeks nearly bleed red because he’s naked. His eyes frantically flit over to Gojo who’s sitting in the corner of the room, watching the exchange. The white-haired sorcerer shrugs in a ridiculed manner —silently telling Itadori that it wasn’t his problem.
“You called me,” your voice filters through the bright room. His eyebrows crinkle in confusion. Sukuna must've did something.
When his eyes flit back to you, he’s met with your monotone expression, your cascade of braids framing your face. And for the third time in his life, he’s scared. 
Your cursed energy, which for your level should leave little to no residual, is flaring with onyx undertones. Its sharpened jaws nearing closer and closer to Itadori in a beckoning manner. He's not sure why it's visible in the first place.
Gojo stays silent.
Brat, let me out. Sukuna, for the first time in weeks, pops up with a wide mouth on the palm of his hand. Without a second thought, Itadori allows him. 
Whilst wading in his domain of subconsciousness, he watches the exchange. Your expression stays the same as you study Sukuna’s marked face. 
“So hostile,” Sukuna bares, his powerful aura sifting through the room. You roll your eyes and crack a smile. Seamlessly ignoring the other man in the room— who you know Sukuna has a grudge with. 
“Am I not supposed to be?” you cross your arms and ask. “Being friendly would get me in trouble.”
“You remember me?” The King of curses cuts straight to the point, the question being so unexpected that Gojo shuffles in his seat, his spine rigid with anticipation. 
You nod stiffly. "I didn’t at first, not fully at least, but after coming into contact a few times, yeah.”
“It’s a shame I don’t have control over this body,” Sukuna presses a palm to your cheek, no doubt a loving caress. His deep baritone voice causing your skin to erupt into a turnpike for goosebumps to situate. “Do you remember how we parted last?”
“A sorcerer killed me or something,” you scratch the back of your neck under his intense stare. “Right through here,” you confess, pointing to the middle of your sternum.
“And you’ve become one?” Sukuna quirks an eyebrow, shoulders stiff with anger. 
“I didn’t even know I knew you until a month ago, calm down,” you wave in dismissal. Itadori takes note in the way Sukuna visibly relaxes, your words washing him in a bucket of warmth. “Is that all? I’ve got a mission in thirty minutes.” 
“I’m coming with you.” Sukuna jumps off the steel table, his bare feet touching the cool ground. You turn your eyes away from the bottom half of his body, ears growing hot in embarrassment.
“Eh? Is that allowed?” You turn to Gojo who’s still analyzing the situation beforehand and he shrugs with complacency. “Don’t let anyone see him,” Gojo warns, his stare serious even under his blindfold. You're not exactly sure what Gojo's thinking but you grasp the opportunity.
When you leave the autopsy room with a naked Sukuna by your side, careful to avoid any areas where Sukuna’s aura might be felt, you make it to Itadori’s dorm.
“Here.” You throw him Yuuji’s formal uniform and a pair of brown boots you find in the corner of his room. “I’m not wearing this,” Sukuna interjects.
“Huh?” Your upper lip curls up in confusion. “Then you’re not coming with me.” You turn to leave but he catches your arm in a tight grip.
“Fine, since you’re so damn adamant.” He releases his grip on your arm to slip into Yuuji’s clothes, when he finishes he turns to you with a glare.
“Good boy,” you praise, patting his tattooed cheek.
Internally, Itadori’s too bewildered to tease the curse. In all of his time spent with Sukuna in his body, he’s never seen the King of curses voluntarily listen to somebody else’s demands. The murky water he stands in ripples as he sits to observe everything that’s transpiring. 
When you both reach the site you were assigned to, you sigh in annoyance. “What is it?” Sukuna asks, hands in pockets as he studies your face.
“I was hoping to have an easy day, they’re not dangerous or anything but there’s more than a dozen in there.” You point to the abandoned building, its steel beams bending with age.
“I’ll exorcise them for you.”  
This is going completely against this guy’s morals, Yuuji thinks. 
Your eyebrows fly to your forehead as you grow giddy with happiness. “Really?” You exclaim clambering up to wrap him in a hug.
“If you don’t let go, I won’t.” He grumbles, head in your neck while inhaling your sweet scent. 
“Okayyy,” you inhale, trailing off, Sukuna not too far behind. 
The exorcism is completed in fifteen seconds, tops. You stare in amazement at his lithe movements. His sharp fingers extinguishing cores with precise stabs— the same way he did his vessel. When he’s done he turns to you with an eyebrow raised, his hands wet with unspoken substance. You turn away with a humph. 
“Was it not fast enough?” He walks towards you, concern written all over his expression.
“It was too fast,” you proclaim.
“Huh?” 
“You’re a show-off,” you turn to exit the building, your braids whizzing past his face. You hear his roaring laughter behind you as you make it outside.
The smell of freshly churned earth enters your nostrils as you walk down a fenced sidewalk with bent daffodils. “Where are we going?”
“A ramen shop.” His gaze flicks over to study your face which is softened with what seems to be tranquility. His heart tides over with pride once he realizes that you feel content with him, a 1000-year-old curse.
However, he knows it’s the result of your memories that tie in with his; shared massacres and intertwined fates. Multiple restarts of what seemed to be a never-ending cycle of mingled hearts. But this time jump was different than the others. 
You being a sorcerer is not the only obstacle, at all.
“Sukuna? Hey– you’re spacing out.” You wave a hand in front of his face to grab his attention. 
“We’re here.” He looks up to see a small ramen shop, its logo old with age. As he enters the shop, he somehow finds contentment in being in a place that you like. 
“You know you’re probably attracting sorcerers and curses alike as we speak?” You inquire, grabbing your ramen bowl from the waiter who nervously glances at Sukuna. His tattooed face also attracting unwanted attention. 
“Mhm, I’ll just kill them if they interfere.” You whip your head to turn to the waiter who you’re relieved to see, had already left.
“I knew you’d say that,” you stuff your face with a handful of steaming noodles. 
“Sukuna?”
“Mhm?” 
“What’s gonna happen between us?” You flick your index finger back and forth. “It’s not like the other times, I’m a dedicated sorcerer.”
“So?” 
“You’re the King of curses, I’m a sorcerer.” You repeat, dropping your wooden chopsticks to place your head on your propped fist. 
“Already made a deal with the brat, I can talk to you whenever and wherever I want,” he pulls his face closer to yours. 
“Yeah? What happens when they execute Itadori?” You curl your hands into balled fists, an unfamiliar emotion welling up in your throat. Somehow, it doesn't fit. It crosses your veins in a parasitic manner and your eyes glaze over.
“I’ll just come back.” He states matter of factly, voice coated with arrogance.
“You promise?” You whisper, holding out your pinky finger. You nearly scoff at your own action.
Ignoring the finger you bare out, he presses his lips against yours. It’s the same as he can remember, centuries ago. His body elates with a hum of electricity. And it's as if his body's creating a second space of void in which he feels his every sense being sharpened; the smooth curve of your full lips and the salty taste of previous ramen.
But before the kiss can go any further, you're pulling back.
“That was uh…” You blink once, twice, trying desperately to collect your thoughts. When you look back to Sukuna, you instead are met with Itadori’s clear face.
“The hell are you doing, brat?” Sukuna bares his teeth on the right side of Itadori’s cheek. ”I- I’m sorry just got a little uh.. flustered.” 
“The fuck are you getting flustered for?” Sukuna growls. 
“I- uh..” 
“It’s okay Yuuji, you can switch again another time,” you sympathize with the boy. His cheeks are coated in red.
“It’s getting late, eat some ramen so we can go.” You chuckle. Itadori nods as his hand reaches towards a pair of chopsticks.
“Touch my ramen and I’ll kill you again, you damn brat.”
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alwaysmarveling · 3 years
Text
Storm
Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x reader
Warnings: none
Word Count: 2.5k
Summary: Storms are the perfect weather for building forts, and Wanda’s going to make sure you don’t miss out on it.
A/N: I meant to get this out earlier, but then my arm turned into a human chicken wing (I know it makes no sense, you’re just gonna have to believe me)... anyway, I apologize for the delay, I hope you enjoy it!
Wanda woke to feel the bed shaking—no, scratch that. She woke up to feel the entire house shaking. The floors trembled, and the bedside lamp shook… Wanda braced herself to make sure none of the pictures on the walls fell down. As the thunder subsided, she relaxed slightly only to tense back up again at a loud whoosh. The buzzing that she was previously unaware of completely dissolved, leaving her in complete silence. Well, complete silence if she didn’t count the pounding of the rain against the windows, the howling wind, or the thunder that was bound to come back again. Sure enough, when she tried to turn on the lamp, no light appeared; the power had gone out.
A flash of lightning and a quick glance to her right told her that you were somehow still sound asleep. Your head was inches from her own, your own pillow forgotten and tossed to the side at some point during the night. No matter how far away the two of you were when you went to bed, as long as you were in the same bed, you somehow ended up using Wanda’s pillow instead of your own. And while some might find your hair tickling their nose or your soft snores right next to their ear to be annoying, Wanda thought it was nothing but angelic.
A catlike grin grew on Wanda’s face as she leaned over to wrap her arms around you. When you still didn’t stir, she began to press light kisses starting behind your shoulder and trailing up to your ear.
“Baaabe,” Wanda whispered. Her voice was both gentle and filled with urgency. “Malysh, wake up.”
“Huh? What’s going on?” With your sleepiness now turned bewilderment, you were able to notice how your girlfriend was trying and failing to stifle her giggles. “Wan, it’s still dark out,” you whined. “I’m sleepy.” You let out a huff and were two seconds away from throwing yourself back into the pillow when Wanda pulled you in to kiss the top of your head.
“Y/N,” she murmured, her voice muffled by your hair, “The power went out.”
“Okay. Night night.” The witch watched with a pout as you slid back down, a small grin playing on your lips as you closed your eyes.
“Detkaaa,” Wanda sang, poking your side lightly, “Let’s build a fort.”
“Okay,” you murmured, not paying attention enough to tell what you had agreed to. When you didn’t shift in the slightest, your girlfriend’s eyes narrowed. The romance movies had always promised her adventure, but here she was, ready and rearing to go, while the only adventure you were taking was from one side of the bed to the other, and not in a good way.
Had you been awake, you would have noticed how Wanda’s eyes lit up, the Cheshire cat grin returning as she realized how to get you up. The witch turned on her side, wrapping her arm around you. A low hum escaping from your lips told her that her plan was working; you thought she was going back to sleep. So, when a flash of lightning lit up the room and Wanda shot up with a gasp, you did too.
“Oh my god! Y/N, there’s a mouse!”
“What?! Where?” Arms slipping and legs flailing, you pushed yourself backwards into your girlfriend’s chest. You were too busy looking for the mouse to notice how your girlfriend was strangely unaffected by the presence of the rodent.
“Can we build a fort now?”
“Are you kidding me? Where’s the mouse?”
“Malysh… there’s no mouse. I just wanted to wake you up.” As much as Wanda wanted to give you an innocent look when you turned to look at her, she couldn’t help but burst into laughter at your raised eyebrows and gaping mouth.
“I hate you,” you muttered, closing your lips and narrowing your eyes at the still giggling witch. With that, you fluffed Wanda’s pillow and laid back down. Wanda watched you as you stared at the ceiling. You both knew you weren’t going back to sleep any time soon.
“So… the fort?”
“No.” Your girlfriend brought her fingers up to brush against the swell of your cheek.
“Pleeeeaaasseee?”
“No.”
“We can snuggle in the fort! And eat ice cream! And I’ll play with your hair after!” You knew she wasn’t going to give up until you said yes. To be fair, it sounded like a lot of fun, but you didn’t need her knowing that. So, with one big sigh and a dramatic eye roll, you slowly pushed yourself to sit back up.
“Fine. But none of this would be a problem if we just stayed in the Avengers Tower because the generator would be working.” Your girlfriend didn’t miss a beat as she jumped out of bed.
“Well, we’re not in the Avengers Tower, so we’re going to make a blanket fort. Now, come on.” She didn’t give you any time to go back on your answer, instead scooping you up in her arms and carrying you bridal style into the living room. She laughed at the squeak you let out before pressing a soft kiss to your browbone.
“I love you,” the brunette whispered.
“You’d better.” Now slightly less wary, you allowed yourself to melt into her arms. “It’s like 5 AM and you woke me up to build a blanket fort.”
“Actually, it’s 2:30…” Wanda barely moved in time as you shot upwards.
“2:30?! Wanda!”
“But, babe, the power is out! And it’s all stormy!” As if the world agreed with her, the walls trembled with another clap of thunder. “Perfect time to build a fort.” Your girlfriend set you down once you reached the living room, but you kept your arms wrapped around her, not letting her move away. “Malysh,” Wanda giggled, “You gotta let me go. We can cuddle once we build the fort.”
“‘S gonna take too long.” You buried yourself further into Wanda’s embrace, closing your eyes as she wrapped her arms around you.
“Cute, but…” You groaned as she pulled your arms off of her. “No more than thirty minutes. I promise.”
---
Unfortunately for you, Wanda was incorrect. One confusion-filled hour later, the two of you finally had the fort set up to Wanda’s liking (You couldn’t really care one way or another, but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy the absolutely adorable look of pride and glee on Wanda’s face when she clapped her hands together underneath her chin, sighing that, at last, the fort was perfect.).
The witch placed one hand on the small of your back to guide you in between the light blue cotton sheets that hung overhead—”It’ll be like the sky, detka!”—and the pillowy faux mink blankets that cushioned the hardwood floors. With a sleepy grin gracing your lips, you pushed yourself into the throw pillows the two of you had scavenged the house for to line the back of the fort and waited for your girlfriend to join you.
“See? Isn’t this nice?” the Sokovian exhaled as she wrapped an arm around your waist. She wasn’t wrong. The thunderstorms had yet to let up, and from Wanda’s strategic planning, the two of you had the perfect view of the rain hitting the floor-to-ceiling windows, the city lights shining through the plump drops that rolled down the glass. Small camping lanterns lit the actual fort, and Wanda had even found some fairy lights to string along the top. You didn’t have much time to admire the view, though, because the second you rested your head on Wanda’s shoulder, the house shook again as another loud rumble of thunder boomed, and the entire fort came crashing down on your heads.
As tired as you were, neither of you could help but burst into laughter at the irony of the situation. “Oh, yes... this is perfect… Wan,” you managed to get out in between the contractions of your stomach as you giggled. 
Someone could’ve taken the situation as a bad omen for your life together, overanalyzed it until they determined the two of you would never be fit for a future with each other in it, but for you guys, it was perfect; you could’ve stayed there forever, still wrapped in Wanda’s arms, the sheets now draped over your heads making it difficult for you to see anything but the lower half of Wanda’s face. But her laughter was the prettiest thing you’d ever had the privilege of hearing, her teeth sparkled as a beam of light from one of the lanterns managed to catch them, and you could just make out the beauty marks speckled across her face, the ones you loved to spoil with kisses until your girlfriend got impatient and guided your lips to hers.
When the two of you had finally caught your breath, you noticed a flash of red out of the corner of your eye, and the fort was reassembled in seconds. The remaining smile on your face immediately disappeared as you met Wanda’s eyes.
“Wanda, you couldn’t just do that the first time?”
“Nope.” The shake of her head was playful, though, which was more than enough to tell you what you needed to know.
“You totally could’ve.”
“Okay, maybe I could’ve, but it wouldn’t have been as fun.”
“Wan!” Your eyes narrowed further at her growing amusement, and you only relaxed slightly as your girlfriend brought you in closer to her side.
“Do you want your snuggles or not?”
“Yes please.” There was no way that you could’ve said no, especially now that you had already melted into the warmth of her embrace and sleepiness once again tugged at your eyelids. And so the two of you stayed that way for a while, with your legs draped over Wanda’s, your head resting on her shoulder and her head pressed against yours. In between the drawn-out blinks and heavy breaths, you managed to catch flashes of lightning and noticed how the flurries of rain would swell and fall repeatedly, never a consistent drizzle or downpour. Perhaps the one thing keeping you awake was the thunder. Wanda didn’t miss how you jumped slightly every single time it rumbled.
“You scared, printsessa?” your girlfriend murmured as she gently scratched your scalp in an effort to calm you down.
“Just a little startled is all,” you hummed sleepily as you pushed yourself further into her. “Could never be scared when you’re here.” Even though you were almost asleep, Wanda was quite awake, and she couldn’t help but smile at your sincerity.
“I love you,” she murmured with a kiss to your forehead.
“And I love you more.”
A comfortable silence settled itself between the two of you once again as Wanda went back to watching the storm and you played with her fingers. A thought came to you, and with you being as exhausted as you were, you barely noticed when it slipped through your lips and made itself known to Wanda.
“Wands, what would you say to having someone else to watch the storms with us?” It wasn’t until Wanda responded that you realized you had spoken out loud.
“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” The brunette pulled away from you slightly to study your face.
“Can we get a dog?”
“Yes! Of course!” All you could manage was a drowsy smile as Wanda cheered in excitement. “You have any ideas?” she asked after pressing a quick kiss to your lips.
“Hmm… maybe a bernedoodle? They’re really cute and really sweet.”
“Yeah, that would be nice,” your girlfriend agreed. “Or maybe a-”
“And they have such cute eyes. Oh Wanda, the eyes.” Wanda paused as you let out a dreamy sigh.
“Malysh…”
“What?” You kept your gaze directed at Wanda’s fingers as you continued to fiddle with them because you knew you’d crack the second you made eye contact with her. Obviously, though, it was pointless since she had already figured you out.
“You got one already, didn’t you?”
“Maybe.”
“Y/N.”
“Okay, fine,” you sighed. “Yes.”
“Printsessa, I love you, but we’re supposed to talk about these things together!” The continued presence of her warmth and her hand that had never left your waist told you that she wasn’t mad, and you were extremely grateful for that.
“I know, I know, but he was so cute, and I couldn’t say no, and you just had to be there, Wands! You wouldn’t have said no if you were there.” Wanda simply sighed, knowing that, as much as she’d rather not admit it, you were right.
“What’s his name?” she finally asked, resting her chin back on the top of your head.
“Storm.”
“You were really waiting for the perfect opportunity to tell me, huh? And how long have you known about this?” You shrunk slightly at the sternness that filled her voice.
“Maybe a couple of days…”
“Y/N.”
“Okay, maybe a couple of weeks. Or months.”
“Detka! So when is the dog getting here?” 
“This weekend!” The witch’s head spun at how long you had managed to keep the secret from her. And while she loved the thought of getting a dog with you, she was certainly not expecting it to happen this soon, especially since you had only just brought it up minutes ago. But she couldn’t help but laugh when you responded with such excitement, your body perking up even though you were so close to dozing off in her arms. As excited as you were, you couldn’t help but tense up after sharing that with Wanda. She’d taken the initial news better than you expected, but this…
“You’re lucky I love you,” Wanda finally sighed, and it was with that that you were able to relax once again.
“What can I say? I’m irresistible.”
“Don’t push it,” the witch grumbled, and you two chuckled, rain still pounding down on the house and the storm just as lively as before.
---
It didn’t take long for you to fall back asleep with the burden you’d been carrying for months now spilled and accepted. Wanda continued to look mindlessly out the window, focusing for one moment on a particularly fat drop rolling down the window before switching to another. She thought about how you’d tensed up each time you revealed a new piece of the secret to her, and if she was being honest, it hurt her a little. She wanted you to be able to come to her with anything, trust her with anything, without having to feel guilty or ashamed. The witch pulled her eyes away from the window to watch your sleeping form.
“I’m always going to love you, malysh. You don’t have to worry about me. I’ll be sure to hold down the fort from now on, I promise. No more collapsing in two seconds.” With a final soft giggle and a kiss to your head, she allowed herself to rest. She’d keep her promise and prove it to you every day, multiple times a day; she was sure of it. And even though you didn’t hear her, that weekend, when the two of you started your life as a family of three, you knew it too.
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blinderspeaky · 3 years
Text
Amoret | Tommy Shelby
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A/n: So this is my first piece of writing here and I apologise if it's too long! idk how accurate this is but I had fun writing it so that's all that matters I guess
Cora is going through a dry spell because everyone is too scared to make a move on her because of her best friend, Thomas Shelby, so he takes matters into his own hands -- literally.
Word count: 23,450
"I can't believe you did that." I flirtatiously giggle as if I didn't have to scrub my hands raw to get rid of the blood from the gory mess that happened just a few hours prior.
"I needed to get out somehow, I just didn't realise I was trashing hundreds of pounds worth of art." The handsome stranger laughs, leaning into me as we get more familiar and comfortable with each other.
"Terrible, just terrible." I smile fondly, my red lipstick gleaming at him as I fiddle with my fruity cocktail.
"I must say, you have the most gorgeous smile, if I knew how to paint I'd never run out of inspiration as long as you're around." The man charms and I have to suppress an eye roll.
What does a girl have to do to just get a bit of pleasure round here?
I'm not here to be charmed, I'm here for a fun time.
"Thank you, you really know how to charm a girl." I say, crossing my leg over the other, so that my leg is in between his legs from where he's sat on the bar stool.
"Only the pretty ones." He replies, pushing the little curled bits of hair framing my face behind my ear-- the rest of my hair is placed in a delicate low bun, pinned back with expensive pins. He rubs his knuckles against my cutting cheek bone, seemingly admiring my face. "It's unfair how beautiful you are."
"What are you gonna do? Kiss me about it?" I make the first move.
He smirks. 
"Thinking about it."
His eyes flicker between my eyes and my lips, and he's about to lean in when a voice interrupts.
"Cora." Tommy says as he walks up to us. "I'm going to head back to my office, I'll see you later to finish business, alright?"
"Yeah, just you?" I question, staring up at my best friend.
"Yeah, Arthur's pissed in the back room, thought I'd let you know, but everyone is still here." Tommy answers, giving my shoulder a squeeze.
"See yous." I sing, ready to turn back to my entertainment tonight.
"Bye." Tommy says and gives the handsome stranger a once over before leaning down to say something into my ear. I'm used to his teasing and he's used to my punches after, so I let out a huff, ready to hear what he has to say this time. "Careful, I've heard this one bites."
I look into his eyes with an annoyed look. "That's why I'm here."
Tommy lets out a quiet chuckle before wordlessly leaving the building, leaving me with the pretty boy.
Looking back at the stranger, I'm startled to find him wide eyed and inching away from me by the second.
"What?" I ask, taking a sip from my drink.
"That was... that was Thomas Shelby." He says, frozen.
"So?" I lift a perfectly arched eyebrow.
"He's a Peaky Blinder."
"So am I, yet you've been talking to me just fine." I state, knowing where this is going; this has happened way too many times recently.
People know of me but most people couldn't put a face to my name, which is why this happens a lot. I'm ready for the onslaught of rejection and a hint of terror.
"You're a Peaky Blinder?" He utters as if he can't believe it.
I nod.
"I've gotta, uh, go, have a nice evening but I must get going." He says and quickly gets off his stool to rush out of the room, practically tripping over his own feet.
Letting out a huff, I finish my drink before hopping off my stool to join everyone in the back room, everyone is more or less smashed, a slur of half hearted cheers go around room when I enter and it makes me smile. I sit down next to Finn, who offers me a cigarette, which I accept and light it up, tilting my head towards the ceiling showcasing the thin, long scar on my throat, I blow the smoke out, watching it billow towards the ceiling.
"Why are men so scared of me and Tommy?" I grumble.
"Because they know if they fuck up, either of you will rip their spleen out, darling." Polly comments, her slender fingers twitching her cigarette to drop off the ash. "Individually or together, doesn't matter." She adds.
"Match made in heaven... or hell, depends how you look at it." Michael states before downing his drink.
"How do you do it?" I ask Polly, taking a drag of my cigarette.
"Well, for starters, I'm not as ruthless as you and I guess I'm not attached to the hip with Thomas." She replies nonchalantly.
"What you need to do, right, Cora, is find a man who is handsome and can take a good punch." Arthur tells me and I raise an eyebrow at him. "Because whoever it is, he's gonna get punched by someone you know and by punched I mean shot."
"No one is bulletproof, Arthur." I say, not taking on his drunk advice.
"I am." John laughs.
"No, no you're fucking not." Finn retorts.
"How do girls not get scared of you guys?" I question, fiddling with my necklace. "On an extremely good day you guys can look intimidating and scary, how do you get girls?"
They all scoff at my teasing.
"Fuck off, alright." Arthur grumbles, knocking back another glass.
"The girls like the thrill. They come from a very traditional family and want a part of the danger but they also think they can change us." John answers my question seriously.
"Never fucking works though, does it?" Finn barks a laugh, nudging John.
We continue to chat for a while before I get bored and I'm still slightly pissed off about earlier, so I say my goodbyes not that anyone's really listening, too drunk to function so I slip out and step out into the brisk chilly streets of Birmingham.
Twisting and turning until I get to my destination, I open the door with the key I've had for literal years and brush my shoes off before stepping inside, closing the door behind me.
Making my way through the room, I wordlessly open Tommy's office, finding him sat at his desk going through paper work, cigarette in hand; he looks up, dropping his pen but goes back to his work.
"You're here earlier than I thought." He states, his tone light.
I huff, mad at him although I know it's not his fault.
"Same." I reply tightly, throwing my bag down into the little seating area in the corner of his office before I sit down in the chair opposite him.
"You don't have to be here, I can do this on my own, you know. I'm not forcing you to be here." Tommy replies in a sincere voice, taking a drag of his cigarette.
"I know, but no one wants me out there." I counteract, leaning back in my chair, a sour look on my face.
Tommy looks like he wants to ask but decides against it; he knows when I'll come around.
"Right, uh... so I talked to some connections and they said they know about the plans but are refusing to tell me any details, and I'm debating with either paying them a visit or selling their information." Tommy informs and just like that I'm back into business mode again, forgetting about my interaction from earlier.
Then we talk about business, business plans, plans for the future, and just random things whilst having a laugh.
As things are winding down, Tommy gets up to grab a drink from his own bar cart that he has in his office.
"Do you want one?" Tommy offers, looking over his shoulder at me.
"Sure." I accept and he gets another glass out, beginning to pour our drinks. I sink into my chair, rubbing my eyes as I let out a groan. I'm still bothered about earlier.
That guy just rubbed me the wrong way, it's happened plenty of times before tonight; I'm best friends with one the most notoriously dangerous person in the midlands, I guess tonight was just my breaking point.
If I saw him again, I wouldn't hesitate to send a few promises to him.
"Fuck, how come you can be a manwhore but I can't even get a single person to be interested in me for more than 20 minutes?" I question, accepting my glass from Tommy when he approaches me.
"Long enough to get the job done though." Tommy jokes, sitting down in the chair next to me, our feet hovering above one another where our legs are crossed. "I think it's a little thing called misogyny."
"Little thing my ass." I bitterly chuckle, taking a sip. "You're at fault for all this, by the way."
"The fuck did I do?" He asks with a light laugh, before taking a sip of his drink.
"You're the reason all these people get scared to either even approach me or go any further than some harmless flirting." I explain, tucking some hair behind my ear as I send him a look that only widens his smirk.
"Not my fault people are so delirious with terror when it comes to me." Tommy shrugs, placing his glass on the table beside his chair and he laughs at my disbelief.
"Yeah, because you definitely didn't put on a show at the garrison last month that we're still finding blood from." I roll my eyes fondly.
"Got to show my enemies what I'm capable of." Thomas brushes my words off. "And hey, it's not like you're innocent yourself. Didn't you destroy a guy's face so much they the police couldn't even identify him just a few days ago?" He teases, licking his lips.
"No, doesn't ring any bells." I shake my head.
"Funny, maybe that's why men are scared of you and won't approach you. I for one, am absolutely terrified of you." Tommy states, making me laugh knowing that's he's only half joking.
"Most people can't put name to my face so they generally don't know me, therefore it's your fault." I tell him, placing my drink on the matching side table next to me.
"Really?" He sighs
"Yes! Just earlier tonight I was talking to some guy and then you came along, Mr. I will cut someones ears off if they look at me, and you scared the bejeezus out of him, turned him into a puddle of foolery. Then I told him I'm connected to you and he freaked the fuck out, made an excuse to leave and he practically tripped over his own feet to get away from me." I reply grumpily, sitting up in my chair.
"Are you done?" Tommy asks, sending me a look.
"No, no I'm fucking not. I've not had sex in like 2 months, do you even know what that feels like? Most of the time it's not even me, it's you that scares them off!" I answer exasperated, watching him down the rest of his drink, placing the empty glass back on the table.
"No, I don't, actually. Why don't you just go outside of Birmingham for a fuck?" Tommy suggests, leaning forward on his knees.
"Fuck you. Mate, I've fucking tried and if we weren't literally sewn together that might work but everywhere I am, you are, vice versa. It's also such a faff to go all the way out or Birmingham for some dick that's probably mediocre. You ju---"
I'm cut off from my rant by Tommy's lips on mine.
I'm so confused and stunned by his actions that I don't know how to react. Freezing, I just sit there for a moment before I decide to kiss him back for a few moments before I pull back sort of abruptly, not in a big deal.
"What are you doing?" I question, searching his crystal clear blue eyes that are mere inches away from my face.
"If everyone else is so scared of me that they can't approach you, may as well take matters into my own hands." Thomas explains, and he gingerly cups my cheek, his thumb brushing over my cheekbone, his eyes soft.
I lean in closer to him, thinking over how this could play out, what it would do to our years long friendship.
It's no secret that we find each other attractive, we've said it to each other and everyone around us, but I can honestly say that nothing has ever happened between us. Two best friends that have expressed our admiration for each other.
I don't know if I want to ruin that.
Our friendship is incredibly strong and personal, I don't know if one steamy night could just throw that away.
My desire acts on it's own and as Tommy is searching my green eyes, I close the gap between us, moving in perfect sync with each other as I play with his hair and he squeezes my waist.
It's like I'm slipping into a trance and all I can think of is Tommy, I'm consumed with all things Tommy. This moment right now is making me feel lighter than air, I've got sparks on my stomach at how he's making me feel.
The burning need to be closer is killing me and it seems like Tommy is feeling the same as he uncups my cheek and places his hands on my waist, pulling me onto his lap.
Thomas agonizingly slowly trails his hand up my thigh, his fingertips grazing my exposed skin where my dress has risen up, leaving a trail of goosebumps behind. Tommy's hand comes in contact with the pocket knife stuffed into my stocking and he pulls away slightly, letting out a low throaty chuckle, "Classic Cora." He mumbles against my mouth, making me smile, and he pulls deadly weapon from my stocking, placing it on the table beside him. Giving my hip a momentary squeeze, Tommy swipes his tongue against my lip asking for entrance, parting my lips, his tongue meets mine and he begins to explore my mouth, seeing what gets a reaction from me.
His fingers find my precariously placed tied up hair, pulling the few pins out and then the hair tie, sending my thick, dark brown almost black curls cascading down my back, causing Tommy to let out a sound of appreciation and bury his fingers into my hair.
I don't usually have my hair down as it's easy to grab on to and it just feels more professional to have it up. I've also got so much of it that it gets in the way when I'm trying to work.
Disconnecting from Tommy I attach my mouth to his neck, leaving my mark. Tommy tilts his head, giving me space to find his sweet spot and he lets out a nice little moan as I set to work.
The pending feeling of his hand trailing my thigh is overwhelming and his fingertips approaching where I need him the most makes me pause, my bottom lip dragging up the skin of his neck.
"Do you want me to stop?" Thomas whispers into my ear, his pursed lips tugging at my earlobe.
"Fuck no." I consent, and his hand meets my underwear.
Beginning to confidently rub me through my underwear, I let out a shaky breath against Tommy's neck and I instinctively open my legs wider for him. His touch is as light as a feather, desperate for more friction, I grind on his fingers letting out a moan.
"Mm, sound so good for me." Tommy rasps, his teeth grazing the skin on my prominent collarbone. Moving my fancy lacy underwear to the side, without hesitation Tommy runs his fingers through my folds, collecting my wetness and bringing it up to my clit.
All I can do is bite my lip to conceal my moans.
Trailing my hand down his front until I meet is trousers and I begin to palm is growing semi, which makes him let out a groan.
I declare that as my favourite sound.
Suddenly in one swift motion, I'm moved off of Tommy's lap and placed right on the edge of his hardwood desk and he's standing right in front of me, his gorgeous blue eyes blown out, looking at me as if I were the only person in world, and he's hungry.
"You're really pretty." Tommy utters.
Before I can reply, Thomas captures my lips again in another sensual kiss that's full of tongue, noises of appreciation, and hands are roaming as we keep involuntarily grinding against each other.
Pushing his suit jacket off and watching it drop to the floor, Tommy's hands find the back of my dress, making quick work of undoing the expensive fabric, and pulling it off of me, leaving me in my lingerie that I definitely didn't plan on letting my best friend see tonight whilst he's in his trousers, crisp white shirt, and extortionate looking waistcoat.
"Wow." My best friend says, slightly out of breath, taking in my figure and how off guard and innocent I look.
Unlike the brutally violent and devious businesswoman I am.
"Unbelievable."
"Shut up and touch me." I chuckle bashfully, weirded out at how special he's making me feel.
I feel extremely exposed but in a weird way, I kind of like it.
Tommy smiles fondly and presses a series of short kisses to my mouth before I take hold of his lip, flicking my tongue against him, causing him to tighten his grip on me.
Disconnecting, Thomas kisses down my neck, leaving a mark or two on his way down, until he gets to my chest and I arch into him. Kissing my cleavage as he cups my right boob, his lips trail down my torso, leaving a trail of fire behind him.
Dropping down to his knees, Tommy takes hold of my hips pressing a gentle kiss below my belly button before he snaps open my garter one by one and effortlessly drags my stockings down my legs.
Grazing up my legs with his hands or mouth, Tommy after what feels like years pulls my panties down, throwing them out of sight, I watch as his eyes light up and if possible I feel even more exposed.
Flicking his eyes up to me, looking like he's asking for my consent, I brush my fingers through his hair and give him a subtle nod.
Burying his head between my thigh, Tommy licks a strip up my heat, making me let out a moan, and bury my fingers into his thick hair.
Leaning back onto his desk, Tommy pushes my thighs apart so he can get better access as he attaches his mouth so my core, sending me to all sorts of heaven.
"Fuck, Tommy." I whine, tugging at his hair as I arch my back.
"Let it out, we're here alone, scream my name, let me hear how much you want me." Tommy urges with a slight smirk.
Without any warning, Tommy pumps a finger into me and I conform to his wishes at that, not caring how loud I was being, I let his name fall from my lips along with my moans.
My legs shudder under his hand, he lapped at me as if I were his last meal, reveling in the sounds I was making, the sounds he was earning.
I was close and we both knew that, so Tommy speeds up his movements and adds another finger inside of me, curling up.
"Fuck, oh my god, Tommy, don't stop." I pant, tugging at his hair.
Tommy had me withering in moments, my fingers tugging at his hair which made him groan, only adding to the pleasure he was giving me.
"Fuck, I'm gonna---" I began which only spurred Thomas on, he sucked harder and pumped his fingers faster. My breathing hitched and shaky, breathy, and loud sounds left my lips as I clenched around him, my body shuddering from the orgasm he'd worked out of me.
He continues his motions making sure I'm done, then pulls his fingers out, standing up right, brushing some hair out of my face.
"Such a pretty girl." He whispers, eyeing my lips.
Tommy's thumb runs over my bottom lip and I open my mouth, he brings his fingers that were inside of me to my lips, and I stick my tongue out and he inserts his finger into mouth, letting me suck my juices off of his fingers; his eyes seemingly in a trance at how my mouth is working.
"Mm, just like that." He whispers.
Standing up to my full height, I guide Tommy to swap places with me and he's very much willing to do so, peppering kisses to his jaw before dropping to my knees, I innocently look up at him through my lashes, loving how he's so aware of all my movements and how he's like putty in my hands.
"May I?" I raise an eyebrow, digging my fingertips under his belt.
Tommy leans down and cups my jaw, pressing a deep kiss to my lips. "Of course." I grin in delight and snatch a quick kiss as he begins to retreat.
Undoing his belt, I take that off and throw it away before undoing his button and pulling down his zipper. Palming him through his undone trousers, Tommy lets out a hitched breath, it's a barely there pressure, enough to feel something but no where enough as much as he like.
"Stop teasing." He groans, bracing himself on his desk and his knuckles are milky white from how hard he's holding on to his desk.
I chuckle darkly. "Tommy, I haven't even started."
Continuing my actions mixing up my pressure and pace as he throws his head back in annoyance.
Pulling him out of his underwear letting him spring free, Thomas groans when I grab him, making my mouth water. This sight alone could give me immense pleasure.
The sight of me on my knees in front of him, him practically fully clothed with his dick out, just calling out for me to suck, all whilst in the middle of his office.
With my best friend let alone.
I would love to tease him for hours but the overwhelming urge to hear Tommy moan, moan my name and pull my hair gets the best of me.
Tightening my grip on him, I wrap my lips around his tip that's already leaking precum, sucking lightly, which makes him throw his head back in pleasure.
"So pretty, such a pretty cock." I utter, licking his entire length and wrapping my mouth around him.
"Fuck, Cora." Tommy gasps, threading his hand in my hair to keep me there, and I let out a hum, causing him to tighten his grip on my hair as he lets out an estranged moan.
Taking as much as I possibly can into my mouth, I begin to work my magic, pumping whatever I can't with my hand whilst Tommy breathes heavily and lets out his moans above me.
The sight of him with his head thrown back as he moans my name whilst he half heartedly guides me with his hand, too lost in the pleasure to properly commits to it, is ingrained in my mind.
We're completely lost in the moment, right now it's just him and I, there's nothing else in our mind except lust and each other, and I'm alright with that.
"Oh my... fuck, I can't l---" Tommy cuts his pleasured rambling off and lets out a large breath before pulling me off of him. "I wanna finish inside of you." Tommy states breathlessly.
I wordlessly stand up, more than willing to conform to his needs and begin to undress him, his hands pulling off his clothes as fast as he can until he's completely stark naked in the middle of his office with his best friend.
Realising I've still got my bra on, I undo the back and pull the straps down, watching it fall the floor.
Tommy and I stand in front of each other, completely enamoured with each other, feeling extremely exposed but I like it.
"Gorgeous." Thomas whispers before pressing his lips to mine, gingerly holding my face in his hands.
Thomas guides me back a few steps to his desk and I prop myself upon it, as Tommy's hands roam.
Taking hold of himself, Tommy runs his tip through my dripping folds, the both of us letting out a shaky breath.
"You ready?" Tommy questions, tucking some hair behind my ears before pressing his forehead against mine.
"Mhm." I hum, running my hand down his back.
Capturing my lips in a quick kiss, Tommy lines himself up with my entrance and pushes in until he's done to the hilt.
"Fuck." We say in unison, making us breathe a chuckle.
Beginning to move his hips, Tommy buries his face in my neck, dragging his mouth wherever he pleases, exploring my skin. I hold the back of his neck, trying to stay afloat as my toes curl, and we're too far gone to care when expensive things fall from Tommy's desk.
***
"You should wear your hair down more often." Tommy tells me softly as he's propped up on his elbow looking down at me as I lie on my back, settling into the fairly large seating area Tommy has in his office.
"It's so long, it gets in the way." I pout, rubbing my eye.
"I like it." He sincerely says, picking up a lock and twirling it around his finger.
We're have gentle pillow talk without the pillows, just looking at each other in a different way as we lie in our underwear in the warm room, talking in quiet voices as if the whole world could hear us.
"I like your hair, very imaginative." I tease, combing his locks with my fingers.
"Rude." He grumbles, poking me in the side making me jerk as I let out a laugh.
"When you first get it cut it feels like velcro." I chuckle, making him grin.
"Yeah, I've just got the worst barber." Tommy smirks, playing with my fingers.
"Bitch." I laugh, ruffling his velcro like hair.
Every other Sunday Tommy sits in my kitchen letting me cut his hair as we bitch about business or just forgetting about work altogether.
"Talented at your craft but the most annoying barber I've ever met." He shakes his head, amused.
"I tell you each time, I don't mean to tickle your neck or catch your ear, it just happens." I defend myself, making him laugh.
"I don't mean to stab you, it just happens!" Tommy imitates me, making me poke him in the ribs which only makes him laugh harder. "If only people knew of your barbering skills and not your knife wielding skills, maybe they wouldn't be so scared of you."
"If only people knew of your sewing skills, they wouldn't be so scared of your gun ridden hand." I retort with a fond smile, looking up at how pretty he looks in this light, with the small matching fond smile of his face.
"Shh, or I'll tell people you are a professional at juggling." Tommy smirks, pushing some hair out of my face.
"Yeah, with knives, that's cool as fuck." I reply, passionate about my talent.
"Careful or we'll send you away to go to the circus." Tommy chuckles, pulling me in for a smiley kiss.
I've always been known to wake up really late, always the last one up, the last one to finish breakfast if at all, and always the last one out of the door in the morning. It's not that I stay out really late, I'm usually at home at a reasonable time, I cosy down in my homely home, and I just relax after the usually hectic day and yet I still wake up late.
Except today.
I wake up tangled in a mess of limbs, Tommy's arms wrapped around me and I suck in a breath, wishing on everything in the world that he doesn't wake up. Easily slipping out of his grasp, I sit on the edge of the large ottoman, rubbing my face before letting out a sigh.
I need to get dressed and be out of here before Thomas wakes up, I do not want to have the awkward conversation of the morning after.
Quickly and quietly, I put my dress back on, throw my hair up as I approach the window, pulling one of the slats down to see what it's like at this ungodly hour of 5 in the morning, the Sun is just starting to rise, highlighting the permanent haze of smoke above Birmingham.
Shoving my ankle boots on, I tug the zips up and tip toe towards the door so that my heels don't click against the wooden floors.
Closing the door behind me as silently as possible, I let out a big breath when I succeed and begin to walk out the building that I visit everyday.
I know I'm going to see Thomas again in just a few hours but hopefully we'll both be consumed in work to talk about what happened. God I hope no one will pick up on what happened.
I don't regret last night at all and I can say that with my whole chest but I also love my friendship with Tommy, and I hope one night of mind blowing, amazing sex won't ruin that.
I've no idea where we stand and that scares me.
That's my best friend, he'll always be my best friend.
Opening up the door to my house that I never got to see last night, I begin to tidy up a few things as I've got some time before I have to head into work. This is my haven, this is wear I escape work, I try not to bring business back here, this is my safe place so I have to have it clean.
Shoving an old newspaper into the bin, I begin to make a bite of breakfast and head into my bedroom whilst it cooks so I can get properly dressed.
Pulling my wardrobe open, brushing my fingers over the hangers until I find a suitable item a clothing; a navy blue dress that gives the illusion that it's off the shoulder but it's got a see through mesh-like material hanging from my shoulders with tiny multicoloured flowers embroidered into it, it's cinched at the waist but it's got a wavy extra bit of fabric above my chest, the length is slightly longer than I usually go for as it's inches shy from my ankles, whilst I usually go for just below the knee dresses but I like it.
Just about being able to do it up myself, I pick out some appropriate shoes with a tall heel as I'm surrounded by a lot of men so I hate being the shortest person in the room.
Plus Tommy is quite a bit taller than me and he always teases me for that, so I use my heel to either kick him in the shin or step on his toes.
Gently brushing through my hair to make sure it doesn't frizz up on me, I throw it up in an intricate low bun, leaving some large parts out to frame my face.
Going back downstairs to fetch my breakfast which I eat whilst I read this morning's paper, before I head out of the door.
***
"Well I'll say, this has got to be a first." Arthur laughs, leaning back in his chair as I enter the betting shop.
"Wow," Polly starts, looking at her watch bewildered. "Only 45 minutes late."
Even though I got up at the ass crack of dawn, I'm still late as I may or may not of got preoccupied with the book I've been reading recently and then I got caught up chatting with some people on my way over here.
"I usually expect to see you at around 10 or 11." John smirks, taking his cigar out of his mouth.
"What can I say? Don't get used to it." I say, my eyes flickering towards Tommy's office where he seems to be as of now and I can't help by think about last night.
"It's almost as if you're acting professional and playing by the rules." Polly sarcastically replies, hovering above Arthur.
"Never." I shake my head, placing my bag on my desk then hanging my long coat on the coat hanger.
"Tommy's in a bad mood, so watch out." John jokes, swinging in his chair.
"Really?" I raise an eyebrow, looking at him.
"Well, he's not really in any mood, he's just brooding in silence and doesn't want to interact or talk to anyone." Polly rolls her eyes,making her way over to her own work station. "Maybe you can sort him out." She adds, with a small smile.
Doubt it.
"I've gotta get my forms so I have to interact with him." I huff and brace myself as I open the door to his office, I've never knocked before so I'm not gonna start now.
"Good morning." Michael greets me, sitting in the chair that Tommy kissed me in.
"Morning." I say back, my eyes flicking up to Tommy who's not taking his eyes off of his work in front of him.
"Do you even know what this time of day looks like?" Michael teases, and I roll my eyes.
"Don't worry, Michael, she's been up for hours, I'm sure Cora loves the sunrise." Tommy states before I can even think of replying to Michael.
I glare at him as he leans back in his chair, lighting up his cigarette not even looking at me.
If he wants to be hostile, I can always beat him at that.
"Practically pulled an all nighter, was busy with a piece of work." I tell Michael but my words are aimed at Tommy, and I'm right because Tommy can be a piece of work when he wants to be.
Tommy just exhales his smoke and looks at me devoid of any emotion as I refuse to look at him.
"Should've asked for a hand, I'd of been more than willing." Michael says, completely oblivious to Tommy and I's quips.
"No, couldn't do that to you." I wave him off. "Anyway, I only came in here to get my forms." I say, finally looking at Tommy in the eyes, waiting for him to give them to me as they're in his drawer.
He just stares at me, his cigarette burning in his hand, seeming like there's a million words in his head that he wants to say yet absolutely thoughtless at the same time.
"Run along then, Michael." Tommy says as he hands Michael a file, which Michael wordlessly takes and exits the room.
Letting out a huff, I walk around his desk and crouch down next to him to open his bottom drawer.
"You're a twat, Tom." I grumble, grabbing the wad and standing up.
"No what you were saying la---" Tommy gets cut off by me slamming the stupid forms on his desk and the grabbing his own gun from his holster and pressing it below his jaw as I hold his throat, pushing him back in his chair.
"Finish that sentence, I dare you." I prompt him, looking at his slightly taken aback eyes. "You know I'll do it."
He stays silent, clearly picking up on my vibe.
Putting pressure on my hands one last time before throwing his gun into his lap, gathering what I came in here for and leaving his office.
Tommy and I bicker all the time, disagree on extremely menial stuff but we only properly argue very occasionally but we always come around in the end because despite everything we love each other but god can we get on each other's nerves.
Not that I'd call that an argument, that was just a warning.
"We knew you weren't a morning person but fuck Tommy must've pissed you right off." Arthur laughs, as he chalks some stuff up on the big blackboard.
"More than you'll ever know." I grumble, and begin to get to work.
***
As the Sun sets, people start clearing out of the building as they finish their work, singing or grumbling a goodbye over their shoulder as they go home to their family or lonesome house. I could only dream of clocking out as I've still got a load of work to do and not even the kind I like, it's all admin and menial things that need to be done but I wouldn't consider it fun by any means.
It's kind of nice in a funny sort of way, it's dark outside and the lights are on illuminating the room with a soft glow, there's a slight patter of rain on the windows and it's just relaxing and quiet.
It's giving me a moment with my mind to think things over as I pretty much work on autopilot.
I know Tommy is still here, I can see him through the glass doors to his office, clearing extremely concentrated on whatever he's doing; I wonder if his mind keeps drifting back to what we did on his desk just last night.
I don't what to say to him, he's giving me the cold shoulder, refuses to talk to me unless it's necessary, and I just don't know where we stand. I don't know what I want to come from last night, I'm really happy with where we are right now and although I had - arguably - the best sex of my life last night, not much can come between our friendship.
I felt something that night, Tommy made me feel so special and like I was the most important person in the world to him, and I couldn't deny that those feelings.
Letting out a sigh, I drop my pen and grab a cigarette, placing it between my lips before I search for my matches. Striking a match, I tilt my head back and as I'm bringing the flame to my cigarette my eyes catch Tommy leaning against the doorway to his office, staring at me.
I pause for a moment before lighting my cigarette and waving the match out as I exhale.
"You look really pretty when you concentrate." Tommy states and if there were another person in here I don't think I would of been able to hear him.
"I don't do it often so you're welcome." I reply, never one to take compliments. "But thanks." I bashfully add.
"We both know that's not true." Tommy smiles ever so slightly.
"You look really pretty when you smile." I reply, taking a drag from my cigarette.
Tommy steps down the few steps and approaches me.
"Cora... what's going on?" Tommy asks, turning the chair beside me around so he can sit on it backwards, his arms folded on the backrest.
I look down, not sure what to say or where to look or how to react.
"I don't... I don't know." I say quietly, almost ashamed to admit. I'm always in control of a situation, I know the ins and outs but this time I have no idea where I stand, what's going on and I'm definitely not in control; neither of us are.
"Do you regret it?" He questions and I look at him properly.
"No, I don't. I can honestly say that I don't regret it." I answer sincerely, and a shimmer of relief speeds across his eyes. "Do you?"
"No. It was great and you don't regret great things." Tommy replies after a few moments, watching me stub out my cigarette. "But... I was hurt that you left before I woke up." He hesitantly adds, as if he doesn't know how to put his words together.
Neither do I.
Looking around the room as I try to gather my words, I can feel his bright blue eyes boring into my side and its quite unnerving.
"I didn't know what to say to you. Tommy, you're my best friend, you have been since year 9, we've gone through so much together and I can always rely on you ---you've always just been my best friend. Then suddenly when I get rejected by some twat who's scared of either women in general or the fact that you are my best friend and you decide to kiss me and then things escalate, things change. For good or for bad I don't know." I try to just put some of my thoughts into words.
"You could've left a note, woke me up if you really needed to go, silently got dressed with me and then we parted ways, anything... anything other than wordlessly leaving. Everything stopped, I slept a full night, I didn't have any messy dreams, I woke up rested, then when I saw you weren't there with me, none of that mattered anymore." Thomas explains with a small shrug, his eyes burning for a conclusion, a cohesive answer, anything.
"Only because you had company, female company no doubt." I state, sending him a tired look. His face is illuminated by the standing lamp behind me, highlighting his slight frustration, hurt, and confusion.
"No, I'm almost 100 percent sure it's not just female company. When I got back from fighting and I was having my night terrors, I'd call you up and you'd come sleep in my bed, and you'd help me fall asleep again and at least help with my dreams. When I was using you'd demand that we share a bed because you knew that I knew that you hated it. You've always helped me sleep." Tommy insists, leaning forward in his chair.
"I was just being a good friend, Tom."
"I'm not asking you to be my girlfriend or to marry me, I'm just saying I sleep better with you around. I don't know what I want to come out from this or where we stand but please promise that at the end of the day we'll always be best friends." Tommy pleads, grabbing my hand, clasping it with both of his.
"We'll always be best friends, Thomas. No matter how mad I am at you or you at me, I'll always be there for you." I assure, squeezing his hand with a small smile. "I hate not being in control, my whole life I've always been in control, had a grip on things, and just knew the ins and outs of every situation, then suddenly I don't it scares the living hell out of me, Tom. I don't know how to react."
"I'm not asking you to, I'm just as confused and lost as you are, I don't know where we stand or how to be normal again." Tommy says, his eyebrows raised. "I don't know what I want to come from this, but I know I'll always want you around."
"Same, always." I tell him, looking deep into his eyes. "I've gotta go, Tommy, I'll see you tomorrow." I lie, I've still got a load of work to do but if Tommy keeps looking at me like he is now, I'm not going to be able to make it out of here without my hair a mess.
Standing up, I push my chair back in and take a step away before Tommy says something.
"You can't keep running from your problems."
I pause, turning to look at him.
"Sorry?"
"You can't keep running away from things that you can't solve in 5 minutes." Tommy expands, looking up at me. He looks uncertain, as if he doesn't know how I'll react.
Keeping my gaze on his for a split second more before I swiftly bend down to press my lips against his, cupping his cheek. He seems surprised and stills for a moment then eagerly kisses me back, his hand also on my cheek.
We kiss for a few more moments until I pull back slightly, our faces inches away. "Watch me." I whisper, looking into his stormy sea of blue eyes, and my eyes flicker down to his lips before I stand up to my full height.
Taking a step back to make my move out of here but Tommy suddenly stands up straight and grabs my hand before I can escape and pulls me into him, immediately cupping my face with his soft hands and softly crashes his mouth to mine.
Without any hesitation I kiss him back, wrapping my arms loosely around his neck as I slowly relax into him. Tommy pulls me impossibly close to him, feeling every contort of his body, his hands steadily trail down my back as I work my mouth against his.
Once again, Tommy pulls my hair out of my hairband, letting my wild locks bounce free around my back. He buries his fingers into my curls whilst his other hand wonders, feeling my waist, hips and ass.
I press my hips against his and he leans against the nearest desk, he lets out a moan at the feeling of my hips and I take advantage of that so my tongue can get reacquainted with his.
Last time it was slow, hesitant touches, taking our time but this time it's eager, fast moving, and hungry.
I let out a moan when Tommy flicks his tongue against mine, completely lost in the moment; I can feel that I'm losing myself in him, his touch, his mouth, his mind. Disconnecting, Tommy attaches his mouth to the sensitive skin on my neck, dragging his lips up to the sweet spot below my ear.
The fast that he knows that fact sends me reeling over something so silly and simple, but it wakes me up.
Immediately I push myself off of him, taking a few shaky steps back with wide eyes. He looks shocked, his blown out eyes shining in concern, and he takes a step towards me.
"Co---"
"No." I shake my head. "We can't do this, I need to leave." I blurt out and make an exit, not bothering to pick up my coat on the way out as Tommy calls after me, but I slam the door on him, blocking out his voice that's always been comforting for me.
***
"Turns out it was just a fluke then." Polly teases, lighting up a cigarette as I enter the building.
"Seems like it." I agree, glancing at the clock, seeing it reads 10:45.
"Who's this raven haired beauty walking in?" A familiar voice asks, and I look to my left to see Ada proudly sitting on the closest desk to me.
"What are you doing here?" I ask, not being able to help the grin on my face as I approach her, pulling her into a quick hug.
"Thought I should come up as I haven't seen everyone in a while, and you even longer." Ada explains, and it's true as the last time she came up I was busy visiting my family that live down south.
"Well, it's great to see you again. Did you bring Karl?" I question, and as I'm looking at her I can't help the guilt that tugs at me as I slept with her brother just a few nights ago.
"Yeah, he's busy making a mess in Tommy's office with Finn." She answers, folding her arms.
"I'm sure he'll look forward to finding that." I smirk. "Is Tommy here by the way?" I ask curiously, hanging my bag up along with my coat, next to the coat I left here last night when I made a hasty exit.
"No, something happened at The Garrison or something and he had to go sort that out." Ada informs me, sending me a quizzical look when I let out a sigh of relief.
"Michael said someone got too rowdy and fired some shots at someone, no ones seriously hurt but Tommy went to go sort it out." Polly says, walking towards us creating a trio.
"When did your hair get so long?" Ada asks fascinated, her slender fingers coming up to grasp a few loose curls.
"I've not seen you without your hair up in what? Two years, maybe?" Polly comments, also looking at my hair.
"I just didn't have time this morning to do it, rolled out of bed, parted it and left." I tell her, running my hand through it.
"Didn't have the time? It's nearly 11 o'clock and you're only just strolling into work." Ada exclaims with a laugh.
"It took me ages to get to sleep, and I need my 8 hours." I retort, the reasons I couldn't get to sleep need to remain a secret.
Her damn brother.
"And just because you're you Tommy won't get mad. If any of us are more than 20 minutes late, Tommy will act like a child." Polly roll her eyes.
"How do you do it?" Ada asks genuinely.
Suck his dick apparently.
"I simply just show him my knife and he does whatever." I joke, with a smirk. "Hey, it's not like you have to be here at 8 or 9 on the dot, you're all founders of this company, you have just as much of say as that dumb fuck."
"True, but you can't deny that Tommy will throw a fit if we're late, where as you..."
"What can I say? Shelbys love me." I tease and leave the room.
It's just pushing 3 pm when Tommy walks into the room again, the first time I'm seeing him since I freaked out last night. It's been a busy and chaotic day so far, people coming in and out, I had to go deal with someone who wasn't paying up which got a bit messy, then I had to catch up on all the things I didn't do yesterday after leaving prematurely, and to do that with a messy head on top of that is difficult.
Tommy searches the room as he continues to walk through the room until he finds me. "You, my office." He points his finger at me and then towards his office doors.
"No?" I shake my head, quirking my eyebrows.
"It's fucking business that's all." Tommy huffs from across the room, giving me a slight glare before looking down and heading towards his office.
Pushing my chair out, I let out an even bigger huff than Tommy's and stand up, meeting him at his office doors. Our eyes flicker over each other extremely briefly before he opens his door and lets me enter first.
We both stop short at the sight of a man sitting in the chair opposite Tommy's desk.
"Who's that?" I whisper to Tommy, neither of us taking a step further.
"Mr Parsons, wants business with us." Tommy briefly tells me before moving forward. "Good afternoon, Mr Parsons."
"Ah! Good afternoon, not that good in a place like this." Mr Parsons states, looking up at Tommy as he goes to sit in his desk chair.
"Good afternoon." I greet and sit down in the chair next to him.
"Oh, a woman, a pretty woman that is." He comments with a weird smile of his face.
I send a quick look to Tommy who looks just as speechless as I am. "Thank you, business --- what can we do for you?"
Ever since I joined The Shelby Company Limited all those years ago Tommy's always asked me to join in with meetings. Not entirely sure why if I'm honest, he's always said and I quote 'you give me a level headed opinion', whatever that means.
"I need protection, I've recently moved to this shithole and I've heard that you so called Peaky Blinders are the best people for the job." Mr Parsons states, intertwining his fingers over his chest.
Tommy and I share a look at his choice of words.
"What do you need protecting?" Tommy questions, leaning back in his chair.
As Mr Parsons answers Tommy's question in his unique way of vocabulary, I take a good look at him. He's probably at the higher end of middle-aged, a full head of black hair growing white, a rather slim and tall build, well dressed, a thin greying moustache, and a sinister smile. He's not unattractive but there's something just off about his face.
"We will definitely look into that, Mr Parsons, we'll need to assess the situation ourselves first." Tommy says, gesturing with his hands.
"This pretty lady, I hope of course." He gives me a grin, and I grip the arms of the expensive chair to stop myself from showing him what I really think of him.
"No." Tommy bluntly tells him. "My brother will."
"That's a real shame." Mr Parsons sighs and looks at me as if I were his last meal on earth. "I must say, I think it's really great that you have so many women working for you."
"First of all," Tommy starts, leaning back in his chair and lights a cigarette, "They work with me, and secondly if you weren't so creepy and weird, you'd not speak of women as if they're a rare breed of dog."
Mr Parsons takes no notice of Thomas, just keeps his smile as his green eyes take me in, making my skin crawl. If the circumstances wear different and we were in a different environment I'd of either punched the guy in the face or threatened to do something worse by now, but because this is business and he could be important, I can't.
I lead forward in my chair to be closer to him despite my whole body screaming no. "You're coming on a little strong."
"That's just the way I act with beautiful women. A good one only comes around once and a while and you have to snap them up real fucking quick." He replies, with a wink, looking proud of himself.
"And you think it's working?" Tommy sasses and I stifle a chuckle, pursing my lip to conceal my smirk.
"I know it's working." He states over confidently, which even if I were into him, that would be a big turn off.
Like Tommy, he has a certain confidence about him but it's not stifling, big headed, or cocky, it's subtle, he demands it without verbally demanding it, and it's attractive.
Ew, since when did I use my best friend as a model of what is hot and not?
"Business, Mr Parsons, we're here for business." I remind him, sending him a stern look.
"See." Mr Parsons smirks at Tommy, and I roll my eyes as Tommy just stares straight through him, his cigarette seemingly forgotten as it burns in his fingers. "My business need protecting because I've made a few enemies in my year, and people like trying to tear me down."
"Wonder why." I mumble in a huff.
"What was that, sweetheart?"
"Oh nothing, just talking to myself, nothing for you to worry about." I wave him off, throwing a glare at him I how intrusive he's being.
"Anything that concerns your gorgeous mind is my concern, darling." Mr Parsons states softly before he grabs my hand that was dangling off of the arm of my chair.
I throw my head back in annoyance; I'd give anything to show this bitch my knife. I pull hand back, wanting to wash hands immediately.
"Why should we give you our protection?" Tommy asks, raising an eyebrow, taking a drag from his cigarette.
"Because, you clearly need it." Mr Parsons says, taking his eyes off of me from practically looking through my clothes to look at Tommy straight in the eyes.
Tommy abruptly gets up and rounds his desk towards me, he nods his head for me to get out of my chair, which I do and Tommy places his hand on my waist as we switch places to me sitting in his chair opposite Mr Parsons to Tommy sitting next to him, I can feel Mr Parsons' eyes on my body as I move. Tommy leans forward in his new chair, looking deep into Mr Parsons' eyes.
"What's that supposed to mean?" He questions, looking scary but it's kinda hot and to be honest, I'm slightly turned on.
"You live in a place like this, it's pretty self explanatory." Mr Parsons replies, crossing his leg over the other.
"I choose to live here, you don't have a choice." Tommy points out, clearly knowing more about him than I do.
"If that's what you want to believe, sure." He chuckles, throwing his head back.
"I'm not accustomed to being spoken to like that, especially not in my own fucking office." Tommy states, shaking his head slightly.
"What? No one been brave enough?" He chortles. "I've always been---"
"No one's seen the next morning after." Thomas cuts him off bluntly, and Mr Parsons stills for a moment.
This is such a dangerous and tense moment yet all I can do is keep my eyes locked on Tommy and all I want in the world right now is a repeat of the other night.
"I'm here to make a deal, Mr Shelby."
"Fine, give me your proposition." Tommy says, leaning back in his seat.
"50 percent of what I can--- no, will bring into The Shelby Company." Mr Parsons states with no remorse.
"And how do you expect to do that?" Tommy practically almost laughs, and I bite my lip to stop my guffaws coming out.
"With my business. If you protect me and people know that we're in bed together, you'll get even more people coming to you, you won't know where to put all the money." He answers, clearly delusional.
"Anything more you want from your so called deal?" Tommy asks, raising an eyebrow.
"A night with the girl."
We both freeze at that, both of us not believing that he just said that.
Tommy's always been protective of me, especially with people like this. I can even remember when I'd get people a year or two above me in school hitting on me or flirting with me, Tommy would always put them in their place and then ask if I was okay.
Yet at the same time, he knows to give me space and when I'm at my breaking point. He knows I don't like being smothered and accommodates for that.
"She's off the fucking table, untouchable." Tommy states with no hesitation or room for arguing. "Get the fuck out of my office." He shakes his head.
"I said sh---"
"Out." I push and he turns to look at me, his eyes widening at the sight of a gun pointed at his head.
"Yo---"
"Out." I push and pull the slide back.
He wordlessly gets up and Tommy and I escort him out as he swears a storm, slamming the door after himself.
Tommy and I stare at each other, alone since last night.
We both act on our own accord as I'm suddenly pressed against the wall, with Tommy's mouth on mine. I grip the back of his neck, my nails tickling his skin as Tommy pins me against the wall with his hips whilst his hands grip whatever he can.
Tommy wastes no time letting his tongue get reacquainted with mine, and I let out a moan at the feeling.
Last time it was soft, gentle, and slow, this time though, this time it's a lot more heated, passionate, and rougher.
"Jump." Tommy mumbles against me, and I do so, wrapping my legs around him as his hands go to my ass to get a steady grip on me.
I can tell he's holding back, almost as if he's refraining himself
"You can be rougher with me, by the way. I'm not made of glass." I quietly tell him, tracing his face with my fingers as we search each others eyes.
"Yeah?" He raises an eyebrow. "How rough?"
"We could set up a safe word?" I suggest.
"Like what?"
"Juggle?"
Tommy laughs before he presses his forehead against mine. "That works."
***
"What the fuck was that?" Tommy asks shocked, trying to catch his breath as his hand trails down the bare skin on my back.
"I don't know but oh my god." I shake my head, resting my forehead on his shoulder.
"This needs to be a regular occurrence, it's too good not to be." Tommy states, throwing his head back in his leather desk chair.
"Definitely." I agree, beginning to catch my breath.
I pull back, looking at Tommy who looks at me with hooded eyes and a small genuine smile, seemingly in a daze; we both are.
"You look pretty like this, no walls up, exposed and genuine." Thomas tells me softly, pushing some hair out of my face before quickly yet gently brushing his lips against mine.
"You're only saying that because I'm naked on top of you." I retort, beginning to have feeling in my legs again after riding him in his chair.
"I've always thought your were the most gorgeous person in the world, you know that, fuck, everyone knows that." He says and my stomach turns into liquid heat.
"Stop." I bashfully reply, burying my face into his neck as he breathes a laugh, continuing to stroke my back.
"You're so cute." He chuckles, kissing the side of my head.
"I've gotta get back to work, as much fun as this was, I like making money." I state, swiftly sliding off his lap and searching for my clothes that are strewn about the room somehow.
"So, what do you think we should do about Mr Parsons?" Tommy asks me, watching me fasten the back of my bra.
"You're not considering doing business with him are you?" I raise an eyebrow at him.
"No, fuck no." He shakes his head, getting up out of his chair to also get dressed. "Can't just let him come out of here with no repercussions."
"Probably just scare him, he didn't necessarily do anything, was just extremely unprofessional and disrespectful." I give him my two cents, before slipping my thick and dark jumper over my head. "But if there's anything that needs blowing up, you know where to find me."
Tommy chuckles as he buttons his shirt up.
"Of course." He nods with a smile, watching me slip into my skirt. "I'll send Finn his way."
"Terrifying." I smirk, finding it hard to believe that the boy I watched grow up could be intimidating.
"You seemed scared of him when he knocked on the door." Tommy teases, brushing his hip against mine as he walks past me.
"Well obviously, you had me up against the wall he was on the other side of; anyone could've caught us." I retort, looking in a mirror to sort my hair out as Tommy seems to have a fascination with it.
"Oh, so you're ashamed of me now are you?" Tommy asks, a teasing glint to blue eyes.
"Yeah, you're my dirty little secret." I laugh, before tying my shoes up.
Tommy tilts his head back to laugh as he slips his blazer back on, both of us looking put together again as if we didn't just have mind blowing sex.
"I'm going to have to kick you out of my office if you're going to speak to me like that." Tommy states, as we both near the door.
"We should really stop fucking on here. Next time my house." I tell him, looking up at him and the funny bright look in his eyes.
"Oh, so their is going to be a next time?" Tommy smirks with a raised eyebrow, look in proud of himself.
"You know as well as I do that there's going to be a next time." I send him a knowing look and he subtly licks his lips, looking pleased. "Can't get rid of you Shelbys if I tried."
Tommy laughs and presses a quick smiley kiss to my lips, "Don't ever change."
That's the start of an extremely natural, fulfilling, fun and sensual relationship. Nothing really changed within our friendship, only that we see each other naked a lot more.
It's definitely brought us closer together. We were extremely close before everything happened but now it feels like we've gotten to a new level, definitely a more intimate level but we're closer than ever before.
It kinda feels like we should've been messing around the whole time, it feels silly that we weren't. What we've got is so much fun and honestly it's a nice stress reliever at the end of the day.
It doesn't feel like we're tarnishing our years long friendship, this feels natural and free flowing.
No one knows, we made that a strict rule. We always try to mess around in the privacy of our own homes, but sometimes when it's late and everyone's gone home we can help ourselves or if tensions get high throughout the day.
I'm pretty sure no one knows. When this all started Ada was visiting and we were slightly sloppy with our secrecy, and she kinda cornered Tommy and I at different times but we got away with it as she never mentioned it again. After that we got our act together and any suspicion that was around died.
It's relatively unexpected from us, although we've expressed our attraction and admiration for each other to other people, we've always said we'd never act on it or that it was even possible to feel anything but appreciation for each other.
I've always joked that it'd be awful to be in a relationship with Tommy and that I'd hate to wake up to him everyday.
We also have another rule to not fall in love, which I laughed at when Tommy asked me to not fall in love with him, and then I told him to not flatter himself.
It's been kinda exciting sneaking around with Tommy. I feel like I'm hiding the resident bad boy of the town from my parents, but in this case it's one of the most dangerous people in the country and I'm sneaking around in front of his family, friends, and co-workers.
We generally don't really see each other outside of work besides on the Sundays that he comes over to my house to get his hair cut. Almost everyday we spend a lot of time together when everyone's gone home or ended their work day, we work together a lot, and I guess we see each other at the pub a lot; but to see each other outside of those premises isn't often. I occasionally go to Thomas' house but not by choice, only if he needs me there or there's a crises or an event going on but if I'm honest I don't like his house, which I've told him before and he always laughs at me because of it.
I love my flat in the heart of Small Heath and you couldn't get me out of their if you tried. I've lived there for years and it's my own place to call home. I could easily afford a house like Tommy's but you'd have to kill me to get me out of my flat.
In recent times, my house has sort of become his residence as he's spent so much time here recently. It's not just sex, we'll sometimes go to my house after work or after some evening entertainment, have a meal or just talk which leads to sex, and then half the time Tommy will stay the night; which leads to us having to sneak into work together without raising any suspicions.
Like now, it's honestly too often you'd find Tommy in my bed the morning after as the sun is beginning to shine through my bedroom windows, talking in quiet voices and having a few laughs.
Letting out a soft laugh at Tommy, I rub my hand over my face wake myself up a little bit more.
It's well into the morning, Tommy and I are lying in my bed, surrounded by sun spots that are pouring through my worn French windows, the Birmingham bustle is in full swing a few floors below us that we can hear small swings of from the window that is just slightly open, yet it's calm and quiet in this plant ridden room.
Just our quiet voices as if we were confessing our darkest secrets with the occasional stranger's shouty voice drifting through the window, and soft touches like we're handling a rare and ancient piece of history.
"Do you miss it?" Tommy asks as we're going through old memories.
"I miss my only worries being if Matthew Kennedy liked be back or not and being young and carefree, but I also love my life right now." I reply.
"Oh yeah, you planned out your wedding, how many kids you were gonna have and everything." Tommy laughs, his eyes glazed over as he thinks back to simpler times.
"It was gonna be outside with as many flowers as possible and we were gonna have 3 children, twin girls and a boy." I chuckle along with him, looking up at the crisp white ceiling. "But it turned out he was a shit kisser and only wanted to see my bed."
"I can still remember the black eye you gave him for that." Tommy grins, almost proudly.
"Deserved it, knob." I shake my head as he snickers before pulling me into him with the arm under me, curling me into his side, leaving the cracked open window to tickle my bare back with soft gusts of air.
"You're so violent." Tommy mumbles, pressing a gentle kiss to my hairline.
"Only to those that deserve it, which is a lot." I explain, before looking up at him. "So I can see how you got confused in perceiving me as a violent person, it's okay, Tom."
He send me an annoyed look as his fingers trace my back.
"You're so annoying, I've never met someone who annoys me so much." Tommy shakes his head, but despite his words his fingers stay consistent in tracing my back, running over my scars and smooth skin.
"You love it." I grin up at him.
All he does is grunt in response.
We lapse into a comfortable silence, with my head rested on his shoulder and my body pressed against his side whilst he has his arm wrapped around me, almost sending me to sleep again with his soft hands tracing my body.
"I can't believe you took a bullet for me." Thomas breaks the silence, running his fingers over the scar in my back.
"Only by accident." I reply, still slightly pissed off, making Tommy chuckle.
"Well if you hadn't moved I'd be dead." He states, looking up at the ceiling and easy smile on his face.
"And to think that you thought I was joking when it happened and you laughed." I shake my head, not being able help my smile.
I still remember that day as clear as ever.
We were outside the betting den with Arthur and Michael and I went to give Tommy a hug before I said goodbye and left but as we went to embrace each other I got a bullet straight into the back. I originally crashed into him and he thought I was joking before I crashed to the floor and my blood soaked my flowery blouse, that's when the laughter died.
"I said I was sorry!" Tommy claims, sounding anything but sorry. "I took care of you in the end though."
"You tripped as you entered the door, you knob!" I counteract, remembering how I was losing blood rapidly soaking his shirt, and as I was in his arms I laughed when he tripped nearly falling over.
"I was only trying." Tommy pouts, brushing his knuckles against my shoulder.
"Thank you." I breathe a small laugh before pressing a feather like kiss to his collarbone.
"You're not welcome." He jokes, before grabbing his first cigarette of the day.
Rolling out of his arms and onto my side of the bed, I do the biggest stretch known to man along with a loud and long groan. When I open my eyes, Tommy's giving me a look which I only grin at to annoy him, laying my head on my folded forearms as I lie on my stomach; I can't help but sigh as all I want to do I stay in the bed all day, preferably with him, not that I'd ever tell him that.
"Want one?" Tommy asks, offering his cigarettes to me.
"You know I don't smoke before 11." I tell him.
"I still don't get why." He shakes his head, exhaling the smoke.
"Habit." I shrug, knowing that it doesn't make any sense but I still do it anyway.
Running my fingers through my hair, I glance at my wardrobe, knowing that I should get ready sooner than later. Shuffling up onto my knees, I make my way over to Tommy's side of the bed as my wardrobe is situated on the left side of the room, I swing my leg over his, taking a brief pew on his thighs.
"You need your hair cut." I note, combing through his slight bed-head hair with my slender fingers.
"I know, but someone keeps putting it off." Tommy drawls, sending me a brief look be for he taps off the ash from his cigarette.
"It's not my fault that you come over to do it but you end up doing me instead." I chuckle, and he smiles.
"What can I say, it's just more fun."
I roll my eyes with a fond a smile before I go to get off Tommy's lap and venture out of this unbelievably comfortable bed but Tommy stops me by placing his hands on my hips, locking me in place.
"Yes?" I raise an eyebrow.
Tommy presses his lips against mine, pulling me in for a sensual, gentle morning kiss which leaves me breathless and wanting more. So much more. His touch is softer than ever as he cups my face in one hand and trails the other over the skin of my waist.
"That's all." Tommy shrugs, brushing his nose against mine with a small smile.
I mirror his smile and capture his lips one last time before I finally get out of bed, making my way over to my wardrobe and pull both doors open, my eyes darting over the hangers.
Picking out a dark dress with bright coloured flowers that has slight and subtle bell bottom sleeves, I shimmy into that before I make my way across the room to look out the window.
"Aw, it looks like it's going to rain." I frown, closing the window.
Tommy puts out his cigarette and gets out of bed, joining me at the window. "When doesn't it?"
"True," I shrug, then turn my back to Tommy. "Can you do me up?"
"Mhm." He hums and begins to do the buttons of my dress up.
"Thank you." I flash him a grateful smile and make my way over towards my vanity to do my make up as Tommy starts to change into one of the handful of suits that he leaves at my house.
This has sort of become the norm for us, Tommy spends the night, we spend a little too much time in bed in the morning until we ultimately have to get ready do the day and we have some banter whilst we get dressed and ready, the friendly banter is usually halted with kisses that make me feel warm inside as well as make my toes curl which always throws me off with how we can go from being best friends to acting like a couple in seconds.
I guess we are called friends with benefits.
Then we go downstairs and I make him breakfast, we talk about anything that's going on around us, business or people before our day starts and as soon as my front door swings open, we resort back to being best friends like we've always been, as if the night before didn't happen.
It didn't start like that.
At first it was strictly just sex. He'd only stay for a couple hours unless I really wore him out and he'd stay the night as much as he didn't particularly want to. We were kind of keeping it a secret from ourselves, reserving it strictly for behind closed doors, you wouldn't of suspected a thing; we slowly began moving forward, we stayed the night more, touches weren't just for nightfall anymore, and we knew where we stood with each other.
We don't refrain from showing each other affection anymore. Before this all happened Tommy and I would go through phases of giving each other affection but now it's different. I'd place a lot of money down for a bet to see if Tommy could walk past me without brushing his hand over my waist or back; he just subconsciously does it every time.
Sometimes there are moments where Tommy will be speaking with someone across the room or there's a family - even though I'm not family - meeting, and all I wanna do is just kiss him.
"You look nice." Tommy comments, coming up behind me as I'm putting some earrings in in front of my vanity mirror, bowing down to look at what I'm doing.
"Thank you." I reply as Tommy wraps his arms around my waist and leans down to press his chin to my shoulder blade, looking at me through the mirror. "You look alright."
Tommy flashes me a boyish smile before pecking the skin showing through the little triangle cut out in the back of my dress.
***
"See you tomorrow." I send Polly a smile when she makes her way out of the workplace.
"Bye, love." She mirrors my smile and closes the door behind her, leaving just a few Peakys peaking around.
Casting my eyes back to my desk, I carry on with my important task at hand before it swallows me whole.
As time goes by I sink further into my chair, the lights get softer as more people leave and my workload goes down. A loud groan disrupts my flow and it sounds like it's coming from Tommy's office.
Pushing my chair out, I head over Tommy's way not bothering to knock and I find him leaning back in his chair, looking stressed and defeated. His head whips up to look at me, his hard eyes softening when he sees it's just me.
"Why's it so dark in here?" I raise an eyebrow, noting the few lamps that are on in here, casting the room in a subtle orange glow when I walk towards him.
"Hurts my eyes." Tommy grumbles and I round his desk, taking a seat on his lap, his hand grazing my ass in the process.
"What's got you so gloomy?" I enquire, pressing a quick kiss to his jaw, feeling some tension release from his body as he settles into me.
"Just so much to do, so little time." Tommy replies with a soft sigh, placing his hand on my thigh and with his other hand he brushes some hair that got caught on my lipstick before he settles it around me.
"Seems that's how life's going these days." I mumble softly, sweeping the hair off of Tommy's forehead, causing him to close his eyes momentarily. "You should be careful not to overwork yourself, Tom. You make shit decisions when you're tired."
"What can I say? You tire me out." Tommy says with a fond smirk and slightly hooded eyes.
"You're a piece of work, got to put you to bed somehow." I fire back, matching his smirk.
Pressing my lips to the sensitive skin on his neck, working my way up towards his sharp jawline, Tommy lets out a satisfied sigh, beginning to properly relax. Connecting our lips in a sweet and short kiss, Tommy squeezes my thigh as I kiss him one time, two times, three times before going back to his neck.
"Mr Shelby?" Someone calls from behind the closed door with a hesitant knock.
We're too far gone to really care who it is or what they want so Tommy sighs and grants them entrance as I continue to work my magic on him. In comes a new lower ranked Peaky Blinder who's eyes widen at the sight of us, which it would be shocking to see us right now as everyone assumes we're still just best friends but here I am sat comfortably on Tommy's lap, marking him up.
"What can I do for you, Frank?" Thomas questions, trailing his hand up my thigh.
This poor boy is speechless, not knowing how to react and he looks like he wants to get out of this room as soon as possible.
"Uh, I just came in here to tell you that I've uh finished everything you asked me to do and it uhh all went smoothly." Frank states with anything but confidence.
"Great, thanks." Tommy responds, tilting his head to the side to give me more space.
Frank escapes the room as soon as possible and I chuckle at the hard working boy. We both know that he'd never utter a word to anyone about what he saw, that's why we didn't freak out. The boy want to go up in this company and he'll do anything to please anyone higher than him; he's too gentle and easily persuaded for this world.
"Is that everyone gone?" Tommy asks me.
"Should be." I confirm with a small nod.
"Perfect."
The next thing I feel is Tommy's hand creeping up my skirt.
***
"What?" Tommy utters, staring at a lower ranked Peaky Blinder with an ice cold stare.
"It's not my fault! I tried to get him to agree but---"
"Not your fault? This whole plan went down the drain because of you!" Tommy states, not believing the man.
"He had a gun to my head, what was I supposed to do?!" Matthew asks outraged.
"You should taken someone fucking with you, not just thought that you knew best! You need a wake up call because if you want to remain in this company you should know that that shit doesn't fly around here. Could've taken John, Arthur, Cora, fuck, even Michael for fuck sake, not just make decisions as you go along." Thomas retorts, frustrated beyond belief as he rubs his hands over his face.
"What's all the shouting about?" Polly questions as she comes up beside me from being in another room.
"Mathew fucked up and gave away Tommy's plans and shit, along with some other stuff that i don't quite know the details of, so Tom's losing his shit." I fill her in, looking up at her from where I'm sitting and she's standing.
"How the fuck did that happen?" She asks, confused.
"He ran into some trouble on the way or something, I'm not sure, I only came in half way through." I take an unsure guess.
"Men." She shakes her head, letting out a sigh.
"Boys." I correct, making her cackle as she turns to move further into the room.
"I don't need a babysitter, and I sure as hell am not gonna take a female with me." Mathew states in defence, his so called manhood damaged by the thought of a woman being able to do his job better than him.
Tommy huffs a small laugh.
"I wear heels bigger than your dick!" I joke from across the room, not taking his serious comment seriously.
"Just get out of my sight before I force you to." Tommy huffs, turning around and heading up to his office, not being gentle with the door as he closes it behind him.
"I'll go talk to him." I roll my eyes, getting up out of my chair, grabbing the knife from off my desk with me. "And you..." I start, showing Mathew my weapon. "Try not to be a sexist twat next time you're even vaguely threatened by a woman. We hold a lot more power than you can, so remember that next time." I give him a sly wink as I twirl the extremely sharp knife around my fingers.
Heading into Tommy's office, I lean against the door after I close it, watching Tommy lean over his desk, head hung low, tension present in his muscles.
"What is it with people not sticking to the plan?" Tommy grumbles, not bothering to turn around and face me.
"Some people think they know best, I guess." I say, coming up behind him and wrapping my arms around his waist, feeling some tension leave his body.
"He's my employee, this is not what I'm employing him for. I'm not paying him to fuck up." Tommy shakes his head as I press my cheek against his back.
"I know." I say, knowing he doesn't really want me to say anything, he just needs comforting and someone to vent to.
"This whole plan has gone to shit, I've spent weeks trying to perfect it, and the easiest task got fucked." He huffs.
"You shouldn't of trusted him to it, the man can't even tie a tie." I state, looking out of the window.
"I just thought I'd give him a chance, a try, whatever, but I shouldn't of." Tommy replies, lifting his head up.
"You learn from these things, got to know where you stand with the people around you." I tell him, moving my hands from around his waist to hooking under his shoulders.
"I guess, but I just expected more from him." Tommy responds.
And so I let my best friend vent some more, not just about this incident but anything that's on his mind, only replying when I feel the need to, and I think it worked because he's not all worked up anymore, the tension has dropped in his body, and he seems at peace.
"Thank you." Tommy utters, taking my face in his hands.
"For what?" I breathe a small laugh, holding onto his forearms.
"For just always being there for me, day or night, for the big things and the small things, I don't know how I could ever thank you enough." He says, stepping into my bubble, looking more sincere than ever.
"You do the same for me, that's more than enough." I assure, looking deep into his deep blue eyes. "Thank you for being my best friend."
Tommy smiles a small smile, before giving me a kiss, pulling me impossibly close to him, both of our smiles growing.
***
Glancing over towards the clock on the bedside table, seeing the time reads 6:30, I've got a long day ahead of me and I need to catch up on quite a few things as I seem to be slacking because I've been spending all my time with the duvet hogger to the left of me.
Granted it's not my house or room so I have no claim on it, but I seem to spend more time here than my own house; it feels more like home here, anyway.
Letting out a quiet yawn, I look over at Cora next to me, seeing how she's dead to the world looking effortlessly gorgeous whilst she's fast asleep. Her dark hair is splayed out on her pillow, her long eyelashes resting on her cheeks, and her bare shoulders are poking out of the duvet, with a small sun spot shining on her, and she just looks so pretty.
It feels weird not waking up next to her nowadays, it feels so natural seeing her warming up the other half of either mine or her's bed.
Sitting up, I shuffle out of bed and start to get dressed and I can't help but think of how I could get used to this.
Beginning to get ready for the day without waking up Cora, I don't bother with breakfast as I just don't have the time. Doing a once over in the mirror, I head over to Cora who's half awake to let her know that I'm leaving.
"Cora, lovie." I say softly, placing my hand on her exposed arm.
"Hm?" She hums, giving me a peak of her green eyes as she purses her lips briefly.
"'M gonna head into work now, I'll see you later on, eh?" I inform, watching her slowly wake up.
"Okay, have fun." Cora wishes, readjusting the sheet on her bare chest.
"Oh I'll try." I joke, brushing some hair away from her face with a fond smile. "I'll see you later." I tell her, planting a quick kiss on her lips.
She chuckles.
"Look at us, like an old married couple, who'd of thought?"
"Terrifying." I laugh, asking her laugh as I leave the room with a smile on my face that stays on my face until I open the front door, and as I'm walking to work I can't help but think that that doesn't sound so bad.
Leaning back in my chair, I grab a cigarette and flick my lighter against the end, quickly exhaling what I inhale before clearing my throat a little.
"I look forward to what the future holds for us, Mr Shelby." Mr Cliffo states, clearly chuffed with the way this meeting went.
"As do I, Mr Cliffo, as do I." I reply, wanting to get him out of my office as soon as possible as I've still got so much to do today.
"You've got a nice thing going on here, great business attitude, trust worthy co workers, it seems like your family really has its heart in this company." Mr Cliffo drawls, looking around the room.
"Yes, all of us here believe in this company and always want to strive closer towards our goals and ambitions." I nod, bringing my cigarette to my mouth again.
"I have to ask as curiosity has gotten the best of me, where's the woman that usually attends our meetings?" Mr Cliffo questions, and I sigh, it seems like everyone takes interest in my best friend nowadays.
She's extremely captivating and has a mysterious aura to her, Cora just has this way of drawing you in and making you want to know as much about her as possible.
"Busy." I inform, watching him carefully, how he has a ghost of smile on his face and seemingly looking back on his few interactions with her.
"I've missed her little quips and ideas." He tells me.
Widening my eyes as I let out an exasperated huff, I stand up and head towards the door, hopefully giving him the hint to get the fuck out of my office.
Which he does, so he stands up whilst doing the buttons of his blazer up, approaching me by the door.
"Pretty little thing she is." He says fondly, but not in a creepy way just a genuine compliment.
"She's certainly a head turner." I nod, not being able to deny it.
"Well, I must get going, errands to run." Mr Cliffo states and opens the door. "I'm sensing a promising future here, Mr Shelby."
"I'll look forward to it." I say, escorting him out to hurry him up.
We enter the main room where everyone seems to be, the shouting across the room and bustling noises greet us.
"Have a good day, Mr Shelby." Mr Cliffo bids and we shake hands briefly before he leaves, leaving me to head into John's office to relay some information about the meeting I just had.
"Good meeting?" John questions as I lean against the door frame.
"As good as a meeting with Mr Cliffo can go." I half joke, folding my arms.
"Still a boring middle aged fuck?" John laughs, dropping his pen.
"More of less." I confirm with a small chuckle.
I'm half way through telling John about what happened and our plans when there's a commotion on the other side of the room. I look over my shoulder and find Cora pinning Mr Cliffo against the wall with the knife that she keeps in her stockings under his chin
He looks sheepish, slightly terrified, and completely taken of guard whilst she looks dangerous, pissed off and not the slightest bit hesitant.
"What the fuck is goin' on?" John enquires, joining me in the doorway. "Fuck yeah, I love when she brings the knives out." He practically cheers for her.
"Touch me or any of the woman in here again and you won't see the next sunrise." Cora promises, and in some weird way I can't help but smile a little as she looks so natural at this.
"What's some woman gonna do?" Mr Cliffo attempts to belittle her in order to save his so called manhood.
That's not what he was saying about her earlier.
Cora sharply brings her knee to his crotch making him pale and let out an agonising groan. The impact enough to make any man wince.
"First time a woman's touched your dick in years, is it?" She taunts, pushing the knife into his skin.
He can't get any words out, clearly in too much pain.
"What? Cat got your tongue?" She all but smirks. "Get out of here before you do something you'll regret." Cora states and Mr Cliffo stumbles out of the door, no doubt planning to avoid this building for the rest of his life.
"Fucking hell, I learnt the day I met her not to fuck with Cora Witton and I'm still scared of her." John tells me, subtly interlacing his hands over his crotch making me breathe a laugh.
"Ladies." Cora grins at the women who she just protected from Mr Cliffo, and they mirror her smile.
"She may be small but she will hurt you." I comment watching her tuck her knife back in her stocking, not caring that people can see.
"No hesitation." John adds before he goes back to his desk.
"What the fuck were you thinking doing business with him?" Cora questions as she comes up to me, not mad just curious.
"We've worked with him before, thought I'd take it further." I shrug.
"And after each meeting he grabs my ass." She rolls her eyes, mirroring my folded arms.
"That's him?" I raise an eyebrow, surprised.
"Kinda." She nods, widening her eyes.
"Sorry, I didn't know, lovie." I say softly before kissing her cheek breifly. "This is why I need you in my meetings, give me honest and better judgement."
"Speaking of which, business is done and dealt with, Finn and Isiah are just finishing it up." Cora informs.
"Did it go smoothly?" I question, staring down at her.
"More or less." She nods and she's about to explain before Michael calls her over. "I'll tell you later." Cora tells me, gently fixing my tie before she heads over to Michael.
"You're close." John states, a teasing tone creeping into his voice along with the growing smirk.
"Fuck off." I grumble and leave his doorway, entering mine.
***
"Hi." Cora sings when she enters my office, an unfamiliar baby on her hip.
"Who's this?" I question, leaning back in my chair.
"My neighbour's son." She says, tucking some blonde hair behind the baby's ear.
"It's illegal to take people's children, Cora." I tell her, smiling when she rolls her eyes.
"My neighbour needed someone to watch him for like 15 minutes." She informs, sitting down in the chair opposite me, situating the young boy on her lap who's fascinated with the bracelet on her wrist.
"What's his name?"
"Ronnie."
"Is this the neighbour that complained about the noise?" I ask, with a cheeky smirk
"Yeah, I still can't look them in the eye." She bashfully answers, smiling through the pain.
I laugh as I look back on that experience, it traumatised her so much that we did all our rendezvous on my house for the next month until people started getting suspicious so we went back to her house most of the time.
"You do a lot of things, Cora, yet you can't look your neighbour in the eyes because they heard us one time." I state, amused.
"Uh, I highly doubt it was just the once." She confidently claims.
"Why don't you just move somewhere more remote?" I suggest, already knowing the answer.
"I can't! I love my place, you know that." Cora replies, readjusting Ronnie on her lap. "Isn't that right, Mr Ronnie?" She coos.
I rest my chin on my palm, hiding my smile behind my knuckles. She looks like such a natural with him and seeing her with a baby makes a weird thought come into mind and I can't help but entertain that thought.
Half of me and half of her, dear god help the child who's cursed with that.
A sarcastic and cocky bastard riddled with trauma and seemingly never ending problems.
I'm not planning on having a child with Cora ever, but the idea is entertaining and gives me an odd feeling.
She'd be an amazing mum, she would do anything for anyone that she loves, and to receive her love is one of the greatest things in the world. As I'm looking at her now, I want some of that.
I'd like a beautiful baby who's half me and half her.
"What you daydreaming about, Shelby?" Cora brings me out of the thoughts I'd never utter to her.
"Nothing." I shake my head, and try to busy myself with the work in front of me.
"In all the years I've known you, Tommy, there's always something in your head." Cora says knowingly, a teasing smile creeping on her face.
"Not true." I deceive.
"I'll find out, some day, I always do."
Not even over my dead body.
"Are you coming over tonight?" She questions, crossing her legs.
"Depends, do you want me to?" I retort, looking over at her.
"I think you know the answer to that." Cora tells me, meeting my eyes, a sly glint prevalent in her eyes.
"No?" I guess.
"Of course I do." She chuckles, her smile lighting up the room.
"Tell you what, I'll finish this in the next... 20 minutes/half an hour then we'll head over to your flat, and see where the evening takes us." I suggest, despite the fact that I still got at least a third of work to do today but this girl just does things to me.
"You and I both know exactly where the evening will take us." Cora laughs, running her hand through her hair.
"The sooner we're out of here, the sooner we can get there." I reply, sending her a knowing look.
"Sounds like a plan." Cora grins, gathering Ronnie before leaving the room.
***
"Ready?" I ask, brushing my hand over Cora's shoulder as I walk past her.
"Mhm, just need to give this to Michael." She hums, getting out of her chair to head over to Michael as I get my coat.
"Where are you two going?" Polly muses, leaning back almost smugly in her chair, a cigarette burning in her fingers.
"Home." I answer, turning to look at her.
"Early for you." Polly acknowledges, looking as if she knows something I don't.
"Maybe so, Pol, maybe so." I nod as Cora walks over towards us.
"Ready?" She questions and I nod before I guide us out of here by draping my arm over her shoulders, opening the front door, seeing its beginning to rain. "Shit, I didn't bring a coat." Cora pouts.
"I did." I smugly say, stepping outside and she tugs at the sleeves of her dress until she steps out, too.
We begin to walk the 15 minute walk to Cora's place, chatting about random things on the way, the rain only getting heavier; luckily we're sheltered by the roofs of the houses hanging over the pavement.
"No one annoys me more than my sister, not even you and you're really high up there, like too high." She tells me, making me grin, that's my favourite pastime.
"It's just so easy to do, nothing amuses me more than when you're annoyed." I chuckle, looking down at her annoyed glare and feigning pain when she punches me in the arm, watching her fold her arms to keep herself warm.
"I retract my statement, you annoy me the mos---" she cuts herself off when I drape my coat over her shoulders. "Tommy Shelby, you're so romantic." Cora laughs, a teasing glint in her eyes.
"I try." I mumble, with a small smile as we turn a corner.
"Fuckin' hell, rain's giving no mercy." She points out, and we both look out at the rain that's pelting down, making puddles and leaking through unlucky people's roofs.
Luckily we're sheltered by said roofs; for now.
Grabbing Cora's hand, I pull her out of the protection of the roofs into the rain, making her squeal and laugh which is just music to my ears as I laugh along with her.
"Tommy!" She exclaims and I pull her into my arms, pressing her against me as our hair and clothes get soaked.
"Cora!" I imitate to annoy her, as she wraps her arms loosely around my neck, bringing us even closer. I look into her eyes, seeing how carefree she looks, how much her face is lit up, the smile that always makes me weak in the knees, and how happy she looks, it makes me unbelievably happy. "Kiss me."
"What? Out in open? People can see us, rumours will spread." Cora tells me as she sweeps some soaked hair off my forehead and to the side.
"So? People are already suspicious." I shrug, cupping her cheek. "Kiss me."
She breathes a laugh before pressing her lips to mine, the both of us smiling into it.
I've never smiled as much as the time I spend with this girl.
We stand in the middle of the road, raining cats and dogs on us, intertwined with each other, more than just physically, out in the open.
Pulling back slowly, we take each other in with soft eyes and smiles, and as I'm looking at her right now, all I can feel is love.
I'm in love with my best friend.
Deeply in love.
I could call myself crazy but the way she's looking at me right now and how she's making me feel, I'd say she feels the exact same.
The words are on the tip of my tongue, aching to be said but I'm not brave enough, so I settle with kissing her again instead.
I'm scared to the bone but I'm also kind of revelling in it as it's a new feeling and fuck does it feel good.
"You look pretty in the rain."
"As do you."
***
After a successful business move that we've all been hard at work on for the past month, that called for a celebration, right? Which is why we're in The Garrison this evening, nestled in the private room full of Shelbys, Grays, and a few other Peakys including myself.
Which is predictably chaos.
"To business." Michael toasts, holding his drink up.
"To business." We all toast, clinking glasses.
"Michael, for fucks sake, you've made that toast like 10 times tonight." John groans, rubbing his forehead clearly exasperated.
"I'm a little drunk, and you keep joining so you're all as bad as me." Michael states, and there's some truth to his words.
We're all a little drunk, some more than others. Not to name names or anything but I'm definitely looking at Arthur, Finn and possibly Polly, not to mention Michael. The rest of us are tipsy, definitely feeling the buzz in our systems, but not off our face.
Although that might change as the night goes on.
"To business!" Arthur vindicates, and I groan, making Tommy chuckle.
"On behalf of my family, I am so sorry." Tommy jokes from beside me.
"What is it with you Shelbys and your liquor?" I question, leaning my head on his shoulder as I look at him.
"Born with it in our bloodstreams." Tommy tells me, brushing his fingertips against my arm as his arm is draped around the back of my part of the booth.
We're kind of in our own bubble in the corner, occasionally piping up with a quip or an opinion but we're mainly talking to each other like we've always done in these sort of circumstances.
"I assume you came out of the womb with a cigarette too, right?" I tease, crossing my legs.
"Yeah, the midwife was waiting with a match." He jokes with a small laugh, his smile staying on his face.
"I can't imagine you as a child. Of course I've known you since we were in year 9, and I'd seen you around a few times in secondary school, but to imagine you as an 8 year old is really hard." I tell him, smiling at the thought.
"Well first of all I was adorable, let's get that out of the way." Tommy states, trying to conceal his smirk.
"You still are!" I tease, earning myself a blank look.
"The ladies loved me." He continues.
"Even with your bad haircut?" I laugh, I've heard so much about his haircuts in the past that family members did for him.
"That's what brought them in, you whore." Tommy laughs which makes me laugh.
"Of course, all that extra hair just propelled these so called ladies to you."
"Exactly." He confirms as if it's obvious. "I've heard stories from your childhood from your family or partners." Tommy informs, a mischievous look in his eyes
"You know only what I want you to know."
"You're forgetting that I know every single thing about you, everything." Tommy says, nudging his knee against mine.
"I highly doubt that, every single thing? Really?" I question, nudging him back.
"Yeah."
"How old was I when I stopped hating you?" I test him, turning slightly to look at him.
"Trick question, you never stopped." Tommy answers, grinning because he knows he's right and I huff. "Yet you still suck my dick almost every night." He mumbles, making me punch him which only makes him laugh.
"I don't hear you complaining." I retort.
"I'd never." Tommy shakes his head. "Why don't we go back to your place and I'll show you how appreciative I am." He suggest, placing his hand on my thing under the table.
"Don't you want to celebrate with your family?" I question, looking over at everyone who's more or less plastered.
"Lovie, you are my celebration." Tommy tells me fondly, tucking some hair behind my ear.
This is the thing with Tommy. He can make you feel so special and make you feel like you're the only person in the room, despite the fact that it's filled with loads of people. He can set off a load of fireworks inside of you without even really trying.
"How about you meet me in the back room in five minutes..." Tommy suggests, sending me a mischievous smile.
"Sounds like a plan." I reply, matching his smile.
"I'm gonna go get more alcohol." Tommy announces, but no one's really listening, and Tommy leaves the room, leaving me alone with his family.
"I'm so glad that I never have to talk to another Bulgarian in my life." Finn says, as I tune into the family's conversation.
"What if you fall in love with one one day?" I question and he turns to me.
"Simply impossible." Finn shakes his head.
"You can't control who you love; you can lie to yourself, deny yourself of it, but it'll always be there." I tell him, sitting up straight ready to go.
"You can definitely control who you love, I can also choose who, when, and where." Finn disagrees, taking a sip of his drink.
"Okay, say you chose to fall in love with the old lady that lives next door to you. Could you do that?" I question, watching him falter as everyone chuckles at him.
"What do you know about love anyway?" Finn asks in a grumble, downing the rest of his drink.
I know a little something about unrequited love.
"I got proposed to." I retort, sending him an obvious look.
"Which you laughed at before walking away from him." He argues, with a laugh.
"Broke the poor guy's heart in front of everyone." Arthur stifles a laugh, refilling his glass.
"Who proposes after 2 years together?" I question, folding my arms.
"Loads of people." John answers, an amused look on his face.
"Shit, maybe I don't know much about love." I join the laughter almost sheepishly.
"I love being in love, it's one of the best feelings in the world." Polly states, leaning back in her chair with a dazed look in her eyes.
"Love is whenever something happens in your life, good or bad, you immediately want to tell them. When you know you can go to them for anything. Knowing you can do anything and they'll always be there for you. When they can always make you laugh, despite anything. Just feeling at home with them, basically. Love is when they're your home." Arthur despite being drunk, eloquently speaks.
My mind instantly goes to Tommy.
He's all of that.
Always has been.
"Love is never far, it's always closer than you think." Polly states, and I look over at her and find that she's already looking at me. Her eyes boring into my soul.
"The only things I love in my life is me and my flat." I announce, and get up to go meet Tommy.
"What about me?" Finn questions, looking up at me with puppy-like look adorning his face.
"Aww." I smile and ruffle his hair. "No."
Opening the door to be greeted with the rest of The Garrison that isn't closed off, I step out and close the door behind me, my eyes scanning the room. Rolling my eyes when I see Tommy talking to some guy at the bar.
He spots me as I approach him, a small smile quirking at his mouth.
"Sorry, I've got some business to attend to." Tommy excuses himself and swiftly yet subtly follows me through the room.
"Is that what I am now? Business?" I tease, as we're out of earshot from anyone around us.
"No, you're a lot more fun than business." Tommy says, grabbing my hand as we push past the doors that lead to the backrooms down the long corridor.
"I don't know, sometimes you get quite excited when things are going well." I tell him, making him laugh which resonates in this empty corridor. "Although---"
I'm cut off by Tommy pressing me up against the wall as he attaches his mouth to mine eagerly. Cupping his face, I match his pace and pull him closer as he buries his fingers in my hair and pins me against the wall with his hips.
"You're so pretty, lovie." Tommy whispers, making me grin.
"So are you." I chuckle, knowing how much he hates when I call him pretty despite the tiny blush that flushes his cheeks.
"You just love to remind me that you're my best friend, don't you?" He asks with a smile.
"Yeah." I laugh and kiss him again before Tommy begins to guide us to a more private area as our kiss begins to heat up and hands are roaming.
The door slams against the wall as we enter a storage room that is surprisingly clean, the heavy wooden door closes itself and Tommy and I stumble our way through the room as our bodies heat up until we hit a wall, I let out a breathy moan at the sensation of being able to feel ever curve and dip of Tommy.
Disconnecting our lips, Tommy dips his head to attach his mouth to my neck as I pant, beginning to fiddle with the buttons of my dress.
"Uh, Tommy? Cora?" A voice hesitantly speaks up, and we freeze.
You could hear a pin drop.
I look to my left and see Michael staring at us with wide eyes, looking scared yet too shocked to really form an opinion.
"Hi, Michael." I sheepishly greet as Tommy drops his head to my shoulder in defeat briefly.
"Has this been going on this whole time?" Michael asks after some silence, rubbing his nose.
"What are you even doing here anyway, Michael?" Tommy asks, turning to face him.
"I was uh... meeting a friend." Michael says. "Not your kind of friend though."
I look past him and see the small container splayed out on some stacked up pallets. "Friend, really?"
"Yep." He nods, inhaling sharply as he refuses to look us in the eyes.
"Not doing lines off old rotting pallets?" I suggest, putting my weight on one foot.
"To--- Who are you to judge me when you guys are fucking or whatever under people's noses?" Michael accuses, acting out. "Has this been going this whole time? You've been sneaking around for years?"
"What does it matter to you?" Tommy and I say simultaneously.
"Are guys together or what?" Michael questions, looking between us.
Tommy and I look at each other, not being able to come up with an answer.
"How does it concern you with what we do privately?" Tommy questions, looking pissed.
"I don't know about priva---"
I cut Michael off as I push him against the wall, swiftly pulling my knife out and holding I under his chin whilst I have my hand pressed against his collar. "You say a fucking word to anyone, your mum, your friends, your butcher, your fucking dentist and you'll be fresh meat." I warn as I look into his blown out eyes. "Understand?"
"Cora---"
"Understand?" I repeat, pressing the blade into his skin.
"Yes, I won't utter a word!" Michael conforms, keeping eye contact.
"Good." I grin, and affectionately clap his cheek. "Tell your mum I'll be in late tomorrow." I inform as I put away my knife before stepping back to Tommy, who runs his hand down my back and rests it on the small of my back.
"We're trusting you, Michael." Tommy tells him, giving him a stern look before we head out the door.
"Stay off the snow will you, Michael?" I suggest over my shoulder before the door slams shut.
"You're so violent, like my little weapon." Tommy teases, intertwining our fingers and I squeeze his hand lightly.
"How much do you trust him?" I question, as we walk down the long corridor.
"As long as we've got you around, I'd say 100 per cent." Tommy jokes. "As long as we don't have any interactions like that again, I'd say he's pretty trust worthy."
"Right." I nod, taking in his words. "Back to my house?"
"We're still celebrating, aren't we?" Tommy states, making me chuckle but it's short lived as I can't help but frown when he drops my hand as we enter the open again.
My heart sinks.
"Just wanna remind you that we've got a wedding next week." Tommy says and I roll my eyes.
You forget one important shoot out that's been planned for months and suddenly he has to remind you of every important thing for the rest of time.
"You didn't propose though?" I reply, gliding through groups of people.
"I didn't?" He raises an eyebrow, looking down at me with a small smirk.
"No, you didn't." I shake my head, smiling.
"Oh, shame, you look good in white."
***
"Well Arthur, the big day's come." I say, as I flip my collar up to put my tie on.
"Indeed, it has indeed." Arthur nods, taking a seat on the large ottoman in the middle of the room.
"Our Arthur's finally settling down, eh?" John smirks as he looks in the mirror to do his hair again.
"God help Linda." Finn grumbles, slipping into his blazer.
"Already is." John widens his smirk.
"I don't see any of you getting married so fuck off." Arthur replies, disregarding John.
"To be fair, he's got a point... god can only do so much." I state, tightening my tie and putting my collar down.
"Oi, you can barely keep your woman on the reigns." Arthur retorts, pointing a finger at me, as the others snicker.
"I've not got a woman." I reply although I know who and what they're talking about.
"You know, the girl you're always around." Arthur tells me, and I huff with a small smile at their tomfoolery.
"You mean the girl who punched you and you practically cried when she was like 14?" I ask, pulling my cigarettes out.
"She'd fucking kill you if she knew you were talking about her like this, Arthur." Finn says, smirking.
"Even if she were my so called woman, not that you'd ever be able to make her conform to that title, she cannot be owned. Not just because of feminism but she's too wild for that, she'd also punch me and that hurts." I state, lighting my cigarette.
"I think it's the other way 'round." John muses, gesturing with his cigar. "She's got you on the reigns."
"Have any of you lot seen Cora?" Polly asks as she bursts into the room, dressed in a fancy dress.
"No."
"Not seen her all morning."
"Not seen her since this morning."
"Me either."
"Fuck sake. She can do everything but turn up on time." Polly grumbles, shaking her head. "Well come on then. Time's getting on and the bride won't wait forever."
We all exit the room one by one, following Polly through the building but we stop short when we see Cora stepping into the entrance hall, looking up at the ceiling as she lights a cigarette, showcasing the thin but long scar on her throat that gave me nightmares when it happened.
"Shelbys!" She beams when she sees us, taking a drag of her cigarette, looking temptingly appetising.
"What time do you call this, Witton?" Polly barks, sending daggers Cora's way.
"There's plenty of time! Don't worry about it." Cora waves Polly off but all I can focus on is how good she looks.
Her dress has a few layers of thin, see through tulle with flowers embroidered into it, the underneath is a champagne sort of pink coloured dress that shines through subtly, the length sinks all the way down to her feet, it's cinched in at the waist with a controversial slit at the side showcasing her leg, and her sleeves are made of the same see through tulle that hangs off her shoulders to tickle her elbow in waves. Her hair is pinned up with a handful of thick curls dangling around her face, and her make up is subtle which really makes her green eyes pop.
She looks like an angel to put it simply.
"Careful, you'll catch flies." John smirks, elbowing me.
I push him back making him knock into Finn which causes him to start an argument.
The art of diversion.
"Nice dress." I comment when she looks over at me.
"Thanks, it has pockets." Cora replies, giving me a demonstration.
"Thought it was supposed to be the bride who's the prettiest today." I state quietly as no one seems to be listening to us.
"Aw, you're too kind." She smiles before pecking my cheek and guiding us towards the church.
***
An around of applause and cheers resonate in the tall church as Arthur and Linda kiss, I can't help but smile at the happy couple.
"How long?" Tommy jokes when he mumbles into my ear.
"Stop!" I laugh, continuing to clap.
"We're married!" Arthur announces as he and Linda turn to face everyone with grins.
Another round of applause goes around the room, mixed with whistles, hoots, and cheers. Arthur and Linda walk down the aisle as a newly wedded couple before everyone slowly begins to follow them for photos outside.
"I can't imagine you getting married." Tommy states when we stand up.
"I'm hurt, Thomas." I reply, shuffling out of the pew.
"You seem too... independent and strong." Tommy digs himself a bigger hole.
"What? So the point of marriage is supposed to break me?" I question with a chuckle.
"No, just the traditional way is that you'd stay at home, looking after the children, cooking or baking, and waiting for your husband to come home." He answers. "And that's not you... but I like that about you."
"I'm never stopping for some man, men don't deserve rights." I shake my head.
"Oh right." Tommy laughs, slinging his arm around my shoulders as we walk down the aisle. "I guess you work with a lot of males so you can say that."
"Thank you, for letting me, a woman, know what I can say and what I'm allowed to say, thank you husband." I joke and he bumps his hip against mine in response.
"The nagging wife part though, you've got that down." Tommy replies, weaving us through people as I lace our hands together with the hand that was dangling in front of my chest from where his arm is draped over my shoulders.
"Fuck off." I laugh, the fresh spring air hitting my face as we enter the outside, gathering at the back of the large group of people posing for photos.
"You love it." He grins before pressing a kiss to my cheek as I laugh.
A flash blinds me momentary, and I inwardly groan.
A few more photos, Tommy and I trying to annoy each other, and laughs later and we head off to the party.
***
"I've known Arthur since I was like 15, it feels weird to watch him get married after all this time." I tell a stranger that I've been talking to for the past 10 minutes.
"I've grown up with Linda, I've not heard the end of this wedding since she was 10." Linda's cousin makes a joke which I fake laugh at, before taking a sip from my flute of champagne. "Are you getting married anytime soon?"
"Oh, no, god no." I shake my head, chuckling.
"Really? Aren't you with Arthur's brother, what's his name? Thomas is it?" She questions.
"Tommy? We're not really together, well we aren't... Thomas is amazing but..."
"But?" She smiles warmly as if she's just done something.
Why aren't we together is the better question, Tommy is everything I've ever wanted, he respects me, makes me feel like I'm more special that I am, is always there for me no matter what, and can make me feel so carefree, I'm in love with him but he's just not.
"But he isn't one for relationships." I answer. "I'm gonna go annoy some of your family, you make me think when I'm here to get drunk. I don't like that."
Her smile falls and I float off towards a group of strangers, ready to judge.
"I heard that the Shelbys shot someone who accidentally bumped into them once." A middle aged man says quietly.
Perfect, this is the group I want to annoy.
"Really? I heard that they give their children guns." A little younger woman matches his tone.
"That's nothing, I heard that they stab children who beg." I cut in, doing this big exaggerated look around the circle.
"I heard that they hurt people who gossip." Polly comes out of no where, and I can't help but smirk at her when she meets my eyes.
"Are you two Shelbys?" A snooty woman questions with a sigh before sipping her drink.
"No." I answer, which isn't a lie.
"I'm Arthur's aunt and she's his brother's girlfriend." Polly states and I glare at her, before tucking my hair behind my ear and subtly flipping her off, which she suppresses a smirk at.
"Oh, I see. You seem like lovely people." Another woman replies with a tight lipped smile.
"We are." I nod.
"If you stay on the right side of us." Polly adds, lighting a cigarette.
"But if you don't, we'll drag you through hell."
"Simple really." Polly shrugs lightly.
"Of course... we're family now, nothing but love." The same woman replies with a nervous laugh.
As Polly makes them more uncomfortable I look over my shoulder at Tommy across the room, who's sitting at a large table with a few people but I don't think he's interacting with anyone really, cigarette and liquor in hand. He gives me a wink which makes me smile, and he gestures for me to come over with a nod of his head.
Leaving the group and Polly, I cross the room all the way to my best friend who takes a drag from his cigarette as I stand behind him and wrap my arms around his shoulders, letting my hands dangle above his chest life a necklace.
"Are you done antagonising Linda's family?" Tommy questions with a tiny chuckle.
"Not yet. They're so judgy." I reply, accepting Tommy cigarette when he offers it to me.
"Where do you think Linda gets it from?" He rhetorically asks.
"You look very pretty." I inform, pressing a quick kiss to his forehead when he looks up at me.
"If I look pretty you must be the prettiest person in the world." Tommy says, fiddling with my hands.
"Always a charmer you Shelbys." I tease.
"Eh we know how to talk the talk." He jokes, squeezing my hand. "Do you wanna dance?"
I look out at the dance floor where all the couples seem to be, it's a little bit crowded but seems comfortable.
"Sure." I nod and Tommy stands up before offering his hand with a boyish smile.
I match his smile and take his hand, Tommy leads us to the dance floor where I place my hand on his shoulder, keeping the other comfortably in his hand, whilst Tommy places his hand on my lower back. The song is quite a fast paced one, so there's no room for a slow dance.
Tommy and I expertly shuffle through the dance floor, him twirling me out every now and then, as we talk and laugh. "Why are old ladies so judgy?"
"I don't know, their better days are behind them and they can't get over that." Tommy offers an amused suggestion.
"I think it's because they---" I cut myself off with a squeal when Tommy surprises me by twirling me out into the dance floor making me laugh. "Give me a warning next time!"
He just smiles down at me as he looks into my eyes. "No, I like making you laugh."
"You always make me laugh, especially with your questionable choices." I tease, squeezing his hand. "I mean what were you thinking letting Finn---"
"I'm not going into this again, he wanted to do it and who am I to say no?" Tommy replies with a light laugh. "That would make both of us a hypocrite."
"We were more mature at the time..."
"Oh really? That's what you call maturity?" Tommy questions amused, as we swiftly move through the crowd as the song begins to end.
"We may have broken a few things but there's no harm done." I state, letting Tommy spin me one last time before a slower song comes on and we match our dancing to the rhythm.
"Sure, no harm done." He mocks me with a laugh, which makes me laugh.
Thomas sways us through the bunches of people as we lapse into a comfortable silence, settling into our own worlds.
"I think I'm falling in love with you, Cora." Tommy tells me, continuing to sway us as he looks deep into my eyes and it feels like he's looking into my soul.
All I can do is smile.
"Yeah? You think?" I chuckle and he matches my smile.
"Mm." He hums, with a nod.
"That's alright, because I think I'm falling in love with you, too." I reply, causing him to break out into the biggest smile.
We pause our moving, standing still amongst all the other couples dancing. Tommy cups my face with his hands and goes to kiss me. "What about your family?" I question, when were mere inches away.
He smiles. "Fuck 'em, they all practically know anyway."
I reply by closing the gap between us, kissing my best friend in the middle of the dance floor as couples dance around us whilst we're stood still, in the midst of his brother's wedding. Tommy's thumb brushes my cheekbone gently as we stand in our own bubble, oblivious to what's going on around us, smiling into our kiss.
"I love you, Cora Witton." Tommy utters, pressing his forehead against mine with a smile.
"I love you, Tommy Shelby." I utter back, kissing him again which makes my toes curl.
"What do you say we finish this dance, get a little drunk, and then go home?" Tommy suggests, tucking some hair behind my ear. "If you can handle Linda's stare that long that is because from where I'm looking, she doesn't look that happy that we stole the spotlight from her on her wedding day." Tommy chuckles, looking over my shoulder at his family.
I look over at them too, seeing how they look shocked yet look like they expected it, and I meet Linda's glare, happy at how I've pissed her off.
"You're such an attention whore." I joke, looking back at Tommy.
"You know it." He smirks and begins to sway us again.
It feels like everything I've ever worked for in my life has led up to this moment. This is what I get after years of struggling, and fuck is it worth it.
"I want this song to play at our wedding."
"Oh, we're getting married now are we?" I chuckle fondly, liking the sound of that.
"If all goes to plan, yeah."
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catxsnow · 3 years
Text
FLIRTING GETS YOU NOWHERE J.T.
Request: Hey, can you please write a Jason Todd, Titans, where the reader is a badass fighter, a vigilante by the name of Spitfire that joins the Titans because Dick is like her older brother and she immediately builds this flirting relationship with Jason? He likes her a LOT and so does she and he feels like he doesn't deserve her and then after he and Dick have a fight the reader goes to console Jason and he tells her he loves her? With a little bit of smut?
Warning: implied smut, swearing, flashbacks of injury and near death, lil angst, lil fluff
A/N: My favourite thing about writing for Titans Jason is he’s still pre-trauma 😩😭 
Word count: 4.1k
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Dick had no intentions of bringing you into his life. He met you back when he was a Titan, before Jericho - before everything. Just a kid with no home and no future. Dick gave you a future, he gave you something worth living for. A purpose. The team adored you, Dawn pulled you in just as close as Dick had. 
They trained you, brought you up to speed on the skills they had been working on for years. Sure, they were mad for brining a kid into this life - but what other choice did he have? Dick couldn't just leave you to fend for yourself, not when there was something that he could do about it.
You picked up on it all rather quickly. Joining them in fights, getting your own suit and name. It wasn't a life that you thought you would ever be a part of... but damn did you love it. It was a thrill, all of it. Being a completely new person when wearing the mask and getting lost in it all.
And then Jericho happened. All of you using him to get closer to Slade. Failing more than you ever thought possible. Losing Garth, losing Jericho, nearly losing you. It broke everyone apart - literally. Donna went her own way, Hank and Dawn together. Dick so desperately tried to leave you to live a better life.
You couldn't leave him, not after everything he's done for you. Dick tried to leave you - he really did. You knew him better than that, following him wasn't hard and once you were knocking on his door in Detroit he couldn't say no. Everyone blamed him for Jericho - for you - but you couldn't. Dick felt guilt every time he looked at you.
Five years passed with him. Five long years of working yourself back up to the same person that you once were. Five years of surgeries, therapy, anything so you could go back to being a hero. Dick was with you through it all, supporting you every step of the way and apologizing even more.
And when Rachel found Dick, everything changed. Your whole five years of starting a new life away from the Titans and your past was snatched away before your eyes. Travelling the country with Dick and Rachel, finding Kori and Gar. Seeing your old friends for the first time since that night in the hospital.
New people, new name, new suit. Same old place that reminded you of the night Slade nearly killed you.
"You're gonna have to do better than that, Jay."
Jason Todd. Second Robin. Dick didn't like him, not a first. Maybe because he was still mad at Bruce - maybe because Jason took an instant liking towards you. How could he not? Jason flirted his way into your life and Dick hated that you flirted right back. Over your time together, you had truly become his little sister.
He didn't trust Jason - not with you.
You were too good for someone like Jason. A heart of gold and a smile to match. Dick failed to see the similarities in you, not because he couldn't see them but because he refused to accept it. You and Jason both took this whole vigilante life as a game. Something to do because you could do whatever you wanted under that mask.
With Slade, you learned quickly that this wasn't a game. People got hurt, they died. Being a hero was real and it was dangerous. After meeting Jason, how lively he was, you hoped he never had to meet the same fate as you - or worse. Years of knee braces and crutches. It was horrible - all because you took it as a game.
"I can show you better elsewhere, babe," Jason threw another punch towards you, a coy smile on his face as you both bounced around on the mats. He started his training with Bruce a couple years after you started with Dick. However, he had all the years in between to keep his training up - you had just stated again less than a year ago. He was well in advantage.
You tried to throw a cross at him but Jason seemed to already be expecting your move. He grabbed your wrist and in a split second pulled you so your back was flat against his chest. His breathing was heavy from your spar. Jason's breath caught in his throat as your fingers grazed over his thigh.
"Promise?" You teased. Before he could answer, you elbow jutted into his abs. He released his hold on you and was distracted long enough that you could easily bring him down. Before Jason could even realize what had happened, he was on the ground in a leg lock. "I thought you were better than this? The great Robin taken down so quickly."
"You got lucky this time, Spitfire."
You released Jason from your hold, popping up and giving him a hand. "I think I kicked you ass enough for one day." Sweat drenched your body and your muscles were already aching. It had been far longer than you thought that you were in the ring with Jason - time seemed to fly with him.
"Wanna join me in the shower?" Jason raised an eyebrow. He asked that nearly every time you trained with him. Most of the time he was only joking, the others you were sure that he was hoping you would actually say yes. He loved to flirt with you, he liked to flirt with everyone, but you? You were his favourite.
It came so easy to him when he was with you. Words of adoration and praise always filled his mind when thinking of you. Since the moment he met you it was easy.
"Is this a bad time?" Gar's green hair peaked through the entrance of the training room. He looked between you and Jason, only inches apart from on another. Your flirtatious relationship with Jason didn't go unknown to everyone else on the team. Dick hated it, Kori thought it was adorable, your old team members couldn't bother looking you in the eye long enough to have an opinion.
"We were just leaving," you looked back to Jason. The grin on his face widened as he thought that you agreed to his offer. It fell as you spoke again, "to our separate rooms, to shower separately."
"You'll say yes one day, babe."
><
Dick loved to tell you how much he didn't like you hanging out with Jason. He didn't like your late nights of sharing music in his room. Your hours of sparring that were a little too personal for the ring. He didn't like walking in to the living room of the tower to see you and Jason half-cuddled up on the couch watching a movie.
He tried to get Kori to agree with him, though she stayed out of it. Dick was several years older than you, but he still saw you as nothing but that little kid he picked up all those years ago. Jason was everything that he didn't want to see in you. He didn't want him to taint your life, not that he could stop it.
It lead to it's fights. Dick trying to control you life just like he always had. You being stubborn, yelling at him. There were a lot of times that you wondered if it would have been easier if you never met him, he was too much of a pain in the ass to bare sometimes. Yet you owed him everything.
Jason found you in the med bay. He'd been looking around for you all evening and couldn't find you anywhere. This was the last place he expected to see you. He stood at the door, watching you pull off the knee brace he saw you wear sometimes. It was obvious that you tried to hide it from everyone.
"What do you need, Jason?" You asked, back towards him but not needing to turn to see that it was him. Jason pushed himself off the frame of the door and leaned on the table across from you. His arms were crossed over his chest but he didn't hold his usual cocky smile. He looked concerned. "You can ask."
"Does it still hurt?" It wasn't the question that you were expecting. Dick never told anyone the full story about what happened between you and Slade. He felt it to be your story to tell, not his. Jason knew the bits and pieces, but he didn't know everything. If you wanted to tell him, you would.
"Only when I breathe," you tried to joke. Jason didn't laugh, instead he sat down on the bed next to you. "It's not a big deal, I've been living with it for nearly six years." It only occurred to him in that moment how young you were when this happened - you were just a kid who nearly couldn't get back up ever again.
He watched your eyes seal shut, trying to hide any noise of pain when standing up. Without a word, Jason swooped you up and carried you back to your room so you didn't have to put pressure back on your knee. "You didn't have to do that."
"Yeah, but I wanted to," Jason half smiled. He sprawled out on the end of your bed, staring up at your ceiling. Your legs rested across his, but you mimicked his position. "Do you think he's really dead?"
"If he's not, he will be if I ever see him again," you spoke. Jason leaned up on his elbows to look at you. He was shocked to hear you speak of such harsh words. However, he couldn't blame you for that. Slade took away years of your life - if you ever saw him again revenge almost felt necessary. "I'm not that same kid anymore."
"I know," Jason stated. "You need me, I'm there."
"I'll hold you too that," You finally peaked up at him. A smile rode his face and you couldn't help but join. Things were easier with Jason. He was always so easy to talk to. After everything that the both of you had been through, you got a new level understanding - one that you didn't get with Dick.
"I'll hold you against anything if you ask nicely," Jason winked. He laughed at your poor attempt to kick him off your bed. The movement struck pain through you and he quickly noticed your wince. His laughter diminished instantly. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, just... just not a good day apparently," you grimaced. Jason carefully propped your knee up on his laps. Ugly scars laid thick on your skin, your knee was visibly swollen. Training the day before you had gone harder than you should have. Jason's fingers were cold as he traced over the lines.
The pads of his thumbs pressed into your sore muscles, massaging them as if he had known pain like yours his whole life. Your head tilted back, eyes closed shut at the release of pain. His hands were like ice against your skin but god did it feel so good. The aching pain that never went away simmered with his motions.
"Feel good?" Jason asked. You nodded, enjoying the feeling of relaxation that hadn't seemed to come to you for a long time. "Can make you feel even better later if you want."
"You never stop, do you?" You chuckled.
"Not when it comes to you babe," Jason winked again as you peaked your eyes open. This time, you couldn't stop your smile. He was cute, you had to give him that. Just as he was about to speak again, a clearing of a throat caught your attention. Dick was standing at your door, arms crossed, lips pursed.
He saw the brace out again, he wanted to ask how you were feeling - but seeing you wish Jason only frustrated him. Luckily, he hadn't heard the comment that Jason had just made to you. He cleared his throat, catching both of your guys attention. "Came to check how you were feeling," He forced out. "Jason, a word?"
"He's fine, Dick," you looked up at him. You knew the look - the 'protective brother mode' look. It was the most annoying face he seemed to make - and he had a lot of those. Jason retracted his hands from your knee, though you missed his touch instantly. "I'm fine. Same as I am every day. Jason was just giving me a hand."
Dick’s eyes narrowed and he was evidently frustrated. Jason quickly picked up on the tension in the room and cleared his throat. He stood up from the bed, careful not to touch your knee at all. "I told Gar and Rachel I would teach them stuff anyways, it's fine," he assured you. 
Dick stared Jason down as he left your room. His glanced flashed over to you before looking down at your knee. Guilt filled him, just as it always did. 
"Rest up."
><
Whatever Dick talked to Jason about it must have stuck with him. Jason stopped being his usual flirty self. He lost his smile when he was around you, he changed. It had been weeks since you had your 'flirt battle' as Gar liked to call them and you missed it. Whatever was going on inside his head, it wasn't good.
Whenever you tried to bring it up with him, he promised he was okay. 'I'm tired' 'I'm just sore from yesterday' any excuse that tried to make up for his behavior. You knew him well enough to know it was a lie and that Dick had to have said something to him to make him this way. When you asked Dick, he promised that he said nothing to Jason to make him this way.
As much as he annoyed you, Dick didn't lie - not to you. Whatever Jason was thinking, it was completely on him. Which made you even more worried - when he got lost in his thoughts he was gone.
So, as days, weeks passed, you kept on by yourself. Jason kept his distance from you and by extension, the whole team. You were his biggest link to staying connected with everyone and now that was severed. Everyone noticed the shift in dynamic between the both of you and were left just as confused.
It wasn't just Jason's distance that everyone was noticing - it was his aggression. Jason going out on patrol just like he used to. You were at his side, though silence over took the both of you. He would ask if your knee was up to the task that night before leaving and after that he said nothing.
He was aggressive out there. Throwing punches that were harder and longer than needed. Relentless against some asshole that probably deserved it - but wasn't necessary. You were worried about him. So worried that you finally had to cave and go tell Dick the truth of what was going on when you were there with him.
As badly as you didn't want to make Jason even more upset at you, this path he was going down wasn't a good one. If there was something that you could do to help, then it was worth the risk. Unfortunately for you, Jason reacted exactly like you expected him to when Dick confronted him.
He was rash, harsh - yelling at Dick that he was fine and that you and him both should mind your own business. Neither of you wanted to get Bruce involved but if it needed to happen, you would go to that extent. Jason rushed off back to his room, slamming his door shut as he did so.
You peaked your head out from your own room. Dick was standing in the middle of the hall, defeat on his face from how poorly the conversation went. He looked at you, hoping that you'd have a solution to this growing problem. Neither of you wanted to see Jason like this - especially when you didn't know where it came from.
With a sigh, you stood in front of Jason's door and knocked. There was no answer, even so when you tried a second time. You looked over at Dick a final time before twisting the handle to let yourself in. To your surprise, the door wasn't locked. With final 'good luck' nod from Dick, you slipped into the room.
Jason was standing at his window, staring out of it and completely unaware of your presence. His shoulders were tense; he held himself as if the whole world was trying to tear him down piece by piece. As if everyone and everything were against him every second of the day without an escape.
You saw the same in Dick. They were more similar than either of them would ever like to admit. Both trying to fight against the world one handed while holding everyone up with the other. They didn't want help - not because they didn't think they needed it - but because sharing a burden like that was too painful.
"Jason."
He tensed at the sound of your voice. Refusing to look at you as if you were the last person he wanted to see. As if your time together these past several months meant absolutely nothing to him. God you hoped it wasn't true. Jason was everything to you, and these past few weeks without him made it so easy to realize that.
"Jay, please. You've been shutting me out for weeks," You stepped closer to him. "I just want to help, I want to know what's going on." Your fingers ghosted over his, debating whether or not to enclose his hand in yours. He answered it for you, retracting away from your touch like you were poison.
"You deserve someone better than me," Jason finally whispered out. You could barely hear him, the pain in his voice was so evident it hurt you. "I don't deserve to be around someone like you."
"Jason where did this come from?" You asked. Was this why he was so distant to you? Jason tricked himself into believe that he didn't deserve you at all. Dick hadn't meant to spark the thought within him, but it had happened. An offside comment about how good of a person you were and Jason realized just how right he was.
Jason was nothing but a darkness that tainted your light. He wanted to believe that, make it easier to push himself away from you so you could be better off in the grand scheme of things. It was far from the truth. Jason showed you a real happiness that you hadn't experienced since your time with the original Titans.
He showed you what it meant to live again without being held back by fear or pain. Jason showed you what it was like to feel loved for who you were, not who you used to be. He was there through the pain of your old wounds and ready to catch before you got new ones. You were the one who didn't deserve someone like him.
"Dick-"
"Doesn't know what he's talking about," you cut him off before he could try to reiterate what Dick had said to him. You didn't want to hear it because none of it was true. Dick always thought he knew what was best for you and he didn't. "I care about you, Jason. I've never cared for someone so much in such a short amount of time and it scares the hell out of me. But if there's one thing I'm certain about - it's that you're going to be by my side through it all."
Jason didn't say anything. You were scared that your words spooked him and that maybe he didn't care about you in the same way. Maybe all of his flirts were truly just harmless. You sighed, worried that all this was for null. Jason didn't want to be saved, he never did.
"I love you," he quietly muttered out as if he was scared to say it, scared to see what you had to say about it. Jason was scared that you were going to leave him just as everyone else in his life did. He was scared that he was going to disappoint you - or even worse - ruin you. He cleared his throat and spoke louder, "I'm in love with you."
"Then why walk away from me?" You grabbed his hands, forcing him to look at you fully since you had walked into his room. "Why assume that I never felt the same way? Or let Dick choose your path for you?"
"I thought you'd be better off."
"I'm better off with you."
Your hands trailed up his arms, his chest, until reaching his cheeks. He held a strong façade, but you knew what hid behind it. Fear, trauma, desperation for acceptance. Jason was a wall when he wanted to be, but with you, he felt like it could all crumble down and he would be better off in the end.
In less than a moment, Jason had grasped the back of your neck, pulling you so close towards him that no air could fir between. His lips rashly pushed against yours, desperate for you touch. The months worth of buildup to this moment were worth every second of waiting. This was what he needed.
The pounding in his chest was so profound you swore you could feel it against your own. You couldn't focus on the small breaths of air that you desperately needed between movements, only how addictive he was. The shaking in your knees at how divine he felt completely pressed against you was nothing compared to the unsteadiness of his hands.
Scared that this was a dream, scared that you would think this only to be a mistake because of a build up of guilt that she had. Jason couldn't let this be a one time thing, he couldn't.
"Is this what you want?" He asked, lips grazing over yours. His hand at the back of your neck fell to your waist.
"I want you Jason. I want to be with you," you assured. It was enough, those few words were enough for him to give himself up to you completely. His fingers squeezed into your waist, tugging you up so you'd jump into him. Legs wrapped around his waist as he walked you both to his bed.
He encased you on his bed, arms on either side of you. Jason's kisses became deeper as he grew more confident. A shudder went down his spine as your fingers trailed down his chest until reaching the him of his t-shirt. He pulled away for only a second to pull off the material before going straight back to your lips.
Your hips lifted off his bed, desperate to meet his. Jason groaned at the slightest brush of your jeans. His head fell into the crook of your neck as he pressed down to meet you. The tightness of his jeans was so evident. His lips planted along your neck, wet kisses left in his wake until reaching a small spot that made you breath hitch.
You could feel his grin against your skin before he paid more attention there. His hips ground into yours as he nipped and sucked. You reached for his buckle, needing more of this delicious sensation that he was providing you. Jason cried out as you grasped him through his underwear.
He helped you pull away his jeans as well as your own top. Clothes scattered across his floor, no longer caring about anything else besides you. "You're so damn beautiful," Jason trailed up with kisses as he undid your jeans.
"I thought you learned by now that flirting gets you nowhere," you teased. Your finger tipped his chin up, encouraging him to pull himself up to kiss you. His body fit so perfectly against yours, as if your curves were pieces of the same puzzle and he was the link you had always been missing. "Pretty boy."
"Flirting gets you nowhere," he mocked you.
"Got me here, didn't it?"
624 notes · View notes
willowisbunger · 3 years
Text
God Im Sorry (A tapeworm clef fanfic)
Before we begin. This is all for jokes. I am so sorry for anyone who has to read this. Its also just a draft and will be complete at some point. For now enjoy what little I give you.
You find yourself resting on the couch of your dearly beloveds bed quarters. You scroll through your phone looking fondly at old text messages of when you and your husband to be's first text messages. All the ridiculous nicknames you two exchanged, all the flirting, photos, and various other things you two have sent to each other over the years. You couldn't help but giggle. You find it hard to believe this all started cause you decided to help some weird blonde guy with a ukulele out with his broken leg.
You two have been dating for almost 8 years and two months ago, the man, Dr. Alto Clef. He took you on a date. Just a nice simple stroll around the woods, which ended in a nice picnic by a river. In which you saw the man you have fallen head over heels for, get down on one knee and began plucking at the strings of his ukulele. Singing a sweet melody like a song bird in the spring, before pulling out a wedding ring and asking those simple words of "will you marry me". Your heart flutters with glee as you chuckle. You feel giddy and so over joyed with happiness. Right as your giggle fit calmed down you heard the front door open, and there stood your beloved. With a wide grin on his face as he held some folders in his hands. He had a doctors appointment that day since he had been feeling strange. With his face showing his usual bright beaming smile and his three beautiful eyes showing their usual mischievous gleam, it was clear that he was in more than perfect shape.
"Heya there pumpkin. I'm home. And I've got some great news." He spoke in a raspy slightly southern voice. At first it was grating on ya, but now its like all your favorite songs combine into one incredible tune. "Welcome home sweetheart!" You chirped as you ran up to your beloved teddy bear to give him a quick peck to the lips as you hugged him close, "What's the good news teddy? I can tell from that big dumb grin of yours ya got somethin real good to tell me. What did the doctor say?" You said as you affectionately pinched his cheeks causing him to laugh as he took both your hands to hold. "Well besides me being fit as a bull. Looks like I'm gonna be eating for two from now on."
You blinked and tilted your head in confusion, slowly processing the information as you stepped back a lil. "How? Babe I never top and we always use protection. Who-" "Oh no pumpkin. I ain't pregnant" He interrupted, chuckling as he ruffled your hair. "I got a tape worm. The doc took some sonograms of my stomach to see if there were any issues and yeah, there's a lil fella in there. Look." The blonde handed you the folder, which you opened and began reading through and your face turned pale at the sight of the tape worm in the photo of an ultra sound. You gagged a lil as you shoved the folder back into clefs arm. "Babe that's not okay!!!! That's a parasite!!!! Its gonna just keep reproducing and shit and its gonna fuck up your insides." You said quite loudly, usually you were quiet but this, this was making you quite distressed. Your fiancés face turned from a smile to a disappointed frown "I thought you would've liked clef junior....".
You stood baffled at the situation before you. Your dearly beloved, just, accepting and seeming to be happy about the fact he has a god damn TAPE WORM living inside of him. You've seen some shit in your days working for the foundation. A sheet of music that makes people go bonkers and try to bleed, Kondraki -clefs ex- ridding on god damn 682, and other shit that would boggle anyone's mind. But this. THIS RIGHT HERE. Just.... Leaves you speechless. "Pumpkin?" the third eyed man spoke in a concerned tone, which rarely came from him. "Are you okay?" You held your head in your hands as you sat back down on the plush couch and just took a deep breathe, and just as quickly as you sat down you sprung back up, grabbing your jacket and zipping it up. "Babe.... I just.... I need a moment.... I'll be out for awhile.... This is just, strange even for you and I need a moment to think about this." You sped walk past your -potentially ex- husband to be to the door. You shut the door, seeing Clef's face look uncharacteristically sad at you. It hurt you a little to leave your teddy bear like that, but you still needed time to just, think and process this whole situation.
You leave the housing area for researchers and quickly the site as well. You hail a cab and as soon as you enter the bright yellow vehicle you tell the faceless driver to "Take me to the nearest motel." Which he happily complied especially with the hefty tip you gave him. You just, Needed awhile to think and god knows how long that could be so you may as well rent out a room away from that hell site foundation to have a clear mind. After all who knows what might happen. Fucking Dr. Bright could tell you to give it a chance and raise the worm together with your teddy bear or some shit. You never know with this job and the people you worked with. While in your thoughts you rented out a room, room 105. Great another reminder of your hell job, even though it was just the simple numbers of 0 and 5 you can't help but be reminded of your faceless higher ups and the fact you work for them.
You found your room and quickly made your way inside to flop down on the bed, beforehand making sure to put up the "Do not disturb" sign and locking it. You burried your face into the hard cheap pillows of this motel, missing the one you had back at your place with its soft textures and the scent of your beloved.... Which once again brought you back to the worm. That fucking worm. Why the hell was your husband so keen on keeping it? He's at least some form of scientist he should know that tape worms are a dangerous parasite that affect your health. You stare up at the popcorn ceiling just, trying to wrap your head around WHY. Why would your partner; your future husband; the one who knows everything about you and you know everything about them.... just why are they keeping the tape worm?
You of course knew the stuff your teddy was known for, sleeping with that statue after a date, killing a dangerous reality bending child, father to 166 (who you were honestly happy to take in as your new step daughter). Out of everything. The tape worm makes you break. Makes you rethink your relationship with the man you've been dating for years at this point. All you can do at this moment is sigh, hearing the phone in your coat pocket buzz. You pull it out and set it to "do not disturb" as you set the device aside on a night stand. "Maybe I should sleep it off. Maybe I'll have a clearer mind then...." You say to yourself as you threw your coat off and roll onto your side. Feeling uncomfortable in your current clothes but you didn't pack a bag so, you just ignore the discomfort until eventually.... You drift off to sleep. The shallow hum of power surging through the building and the busy city outside envelop you as you feel unconsciousness take over.
While in your state of unconsciousness you hear a silky smooth, deep yet gentle voice speak to  you. "Y/N... Y/N its time to wake up Y/N". You slowly awoke, opening your groggy eyes, what laid before you, you didn't know. They had a handsome chiseled face, comparable to the statues found in ancient Greece with even a similar tone of white marble. They had thick luxurious hair that went down to their waste, rippling muscles that went down both torso and back.... They were ungodly white though. And didn't have legs. You stared at the bottom half and slowly processed what you were looking at..... A fucking tapeworm man. A fucking humanoid tape worm what the fuck. "Im going back to bed" You said as you laid on your side, and tried to ignore the hallucination.
The tapeworm creature, slid over you just to get to the side you were facing. You shivered feeling it’s disgusting body wiggle about. You close your eyes tightly as you did your best to ignore it. You could feel yourself holding back even more shivers as you felt their cold hands touch your face. “Y/n…. Look at me…. I just want to talk.” “And I just want to be left alone and not think about tapeworm men trying to seduce me while I’m contemplating breaking up my engagement.”
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css1992 · 3 years
Text
Guilty Pleasure
[Porn AU]
Summary: Peter and Beck used to be a power couple in the porn industry, but after Beck dumps him, Peter is forced to start over. With no money, no family and nowhere to go, he doesn’t have much choice other than to keep doing porn, so he joins Just4Fans to get back on his feet and then one day he gets a very generous tip from someone under the username of YKWIM.
All the warnings listed on Part I apply. 
Read on AO3
Part I / Part II / Part III / Part IV / Part V /  Part VI /  Part VII /  Part VIII  / Part IX / Part X /  Part XI / Epilogue
-x-
Almost three months into his new life, Peter was finally able to establish a routine that worked for him. He woke up around nine in the morning, tried to get some sort of exercise done, usually yoga or a jog around the block, then he had breakfast by himself, because both Ned and MJ had class or work before he was even up. After that, he made sure to post something on Just4fans, so people could see it throughout the day, and answered private messages and comments from the night before. Lastly, he headed to his newly created Twitter account to promote the new content and to interact with people there as well – it was a great way to get new subscribers.
That usually took up most of his morning, then he went downstairs to Ned and MJ’s apartment for lunch. He usually ate with at least one of them, except for Mondays and Wednesdays, when neither was home, but even then he ate at their place since he didn’t own any kitchen appliances yet – it was on the priority list, but not that high up, he liked having an excuse to visit his friends every day.
Later, he headed back upstairs and, depending on the day, he would take new pictures and videos or edit the ones he took the day before. Finally, at night, he posted more content on his Just4fans and chatted with his subscribers until it was time for bed.
In the last week of April, on one of his morning jogs, he noticed that just a few blocks away from his building there was a charity called the Bright Future Foundation. He thought the name sounded familiar, but try as he may, he couldn’t remember where he had heard of them. It was only after running past it a few times that it clicked – Mr. Harrington, his science teacher, told Peter to look it up.
The Bright Future Foundation helped kids who aged out of foster care get their lives together. They offered support in the form of scholarships and grants, academic and personal mentoring, and help with internships and employment readiness skills. That was what their website said, as Peter vaguely remembered from his high school years, when he still planned on going to college.
He went inside one day, not really sure why, and when the front desk lady asked how she could help him he just stood there for a few minutes, silent and nervous. She asked if he wanted to learn about their programs, but he shook his head, sticking his hands in his pockets. The woman waited patiently, a motherly smile on her face, until Peter asked if they needed any help.
And that was how volunteering at BFF became a part of his new routine – every Thursday from nine to five, starting in the first week of May. Since it was just a few blocks away from his place, he could walk there instead of taking the subway.
He liked his new routine, it was tiring but it didn’t leave a lot of time for overthinking or ruminating on the past. He never felt lonely because Ned and MJ were always around and he actually made a few friends among his subscribers, which was nice.
For the first time in a while, Peter was feeling happy. And it wasn’t an elaborate, fragile sort of happiness, where things needed to be in perfect place for the feeling to be felt, no. It was the simplest kind of happiness: he had friends, a job, a place to crash and everything was fine. Nothing was perfect, but it was fine.
A few days after he sent Tony the lingerie pictures, he decided to send him the video. He was a little insecure about it, it was 13 minutes long after editing and Peter had really lost it for a minute there, one could clearly tell. He was gone for most of the video, a moaning mess, tears gathering at the corners of his eyes, begging for something – someone – that wasn’t even there. It either looked ridiculous or fucking hot depending on the person watching, and even though he was pretty sure Tony would not think it was ridiculous, he still worried just a little, but he sent it anyway. It was still early in the day when he did, some time around noon, and he didn’t expect him to answer any time soon, so went on with his day.
Tony messaged him around 2AM, as usual, but there was no text, just three videos in the chat. In the first one, it looked like he was wearing a suit, he could see the dress pants pulled down and the white shirt pulled up as Tony jacked off for thirty seconds before he came all over his hand. It looked like he was in a bathroom stall, sitting on a toilet, and Peter bit his lower lip, wondering if he was at work when the video was taken.
The second video was similar to the first, but it looked like he was in a garage or something like that – probably the workshop he always talked about –, Peter could see a black shirt bunched up around his waist and sweatpants around his thighs.
Last but not least there was a video of him completely naked, lying in bed, and the video was shot from Tony’s point of view, like he was holding his cell phone close to his face, looking down, instead of propping it up in front of him like he usually did.
They were all incredible and delicious and got Peter rock hard in a second. The boy got comfortable on the bed, lay on his back, took off his pajama bottoms and sighed when his cock sprung free, shivering a little when the chilly night air touched his heated skin. He planted his feet on the mattress and spread his legs, but didn’t do more than that yet.
“That good?” He messaged Tony, cheekily, and the older man started typing right away.
“This is the best thing that’s ever happened to me in my whole entire life and I’m 48, so yeah. That good.”
Hm, forty-eight. So Peter wasn’t wrong in his assumption. He bit his lower lip, a rush of excitement running through his veins. Tony was so much older, almost thirty years his senior. Peter supposed he must be really experienced. He wondered if he usually hooked up with younger men or if in real life he only dated women – it wouldn’t be a shock – but most of all, he wondered what he looked like. Maybe he dyed his hair, but if he didn’t, it was probably mostly gray and fuck Peter if he didn’t have a thing for that.
“I couldn’t stop thinking about it. You broke me. I was in the middle of a meeting when you sent that video, I had to excuse myself to go to the bathroom to watch it. What have you done to me, witch?” Peter wanted to laugh, but it got stuck in the back of his throat with a moan when he slid a hand to his lower abdomen and his cock stood to attention.
“I don’t know about that, but your videos sure got me horny as fuck.” He rolled his hips a little, humping the air, and finally gave in to himself, holding his cock in one hand and the cellphone in the other.
“Is that so?” He could almost hear his voice through the phone – soft, but powerful. He always imagined Tony would sound like that if they ever talked face to face.
“Yes, daddy” And that would always be his default answer to anything he might ask with that voice. He closed his eyes for a second, quickening the pace of his strokes just a little, when his phone beeped again.
“Are you touching yourself right now?”
“Yes, daddy” Peter shivered, imagining Tony’s reaction to that revelation.
“Can I hear you, baby boy?”
He didn’t even hesitate, he started recording a voice message and moaned into the phone, thrusting his hips against his fist as he quietly begged for Tony’s cock, his fingers, his mouth, anything, he just wanted the man to be there taking care of him, making him cum, that was all he wanted, and he wanted it so badly.
He came in just a few seconds and hit send on the voice message before he could overthink it. As he lay there, breathless, staring at the ceiling and trying to gather his strength, he fantasized about Tony listening to it. He smiled to himself, like an idiot, then his cellphone beeped, bringing him back to reality.
“You’re gonna drive me mad, you know that? I’m actually going insane and it’s all your fault. Also, my dick is gonna fall off and that’s on you, too.” Peter had the presence of mind to laugh at the message, but it took him a few seconds to gather enough energy to write back to him.
“That’s a serious accusation, Tony, I’m gonna need all the evidence I can get, so every time you touch yourself thinking of me, make sure to send me proof, ok?”
“Oh, you don’t know what you just got yourself into.” Again, Peter could only laugh, because judging by the amount of videos Tony sent him that day, he really was in for a treat.
Days later, on Friday, Peter got up early to go for his usual jog around the block. He was a little tired from the day before, still adjusting to his new routine at BFF – it was his third week there and they were starting to realize that Peter was a quick learner and very eager to help, so they took advantage of that, which was fine with him, he was thrilled to be able to help somehow.
So after a quick, half-assed jog around the block, he went back home, showered and decided to take the rest of the pictures Tony asked for. The man was still going nuts over the video, he wouldn’t stop talking about it and every day there was a video of him finishing himself off in their chat and Peter could hear his own voice in the background, screaming Tony’s name.
It was both embarrassing as fuck and hot as hell, so the younger man also spent a lot of those last few days in the shower trying to cool down, but Tony was not making it easier.
As much fun as that was, he was curious to see how Tony would react to the new pictures. He realized that would be the first time the older man would see him with clothes on, which sounded ridiculous, but it was true. He didn’t have many pictures on Instagram, but most of them were selfies and there were just a few where it was possible to see maybe a hint of a shirt, but that was it.
So he took the outfit he and MJ picked out and winced, remembering how much it cost, but at least he picked out clothes he might wear some day – if he had a meeting with the queen of England, for example. He put on the light gray suit by Hugo Boss, with a pink shirt with big, white dots by Levi’s Vintage underneath, black dress shoes by Brunello Cucinelli and a Gucci watch he was able to find on sale for half the original price. The whole outfit was worth around five thousand dollars, and was definitely the most money he had ever spent on – well, anything.
He checked himself in the mirror and snorted a little, he sure looked like a spoiled brat, which was probably what Tony meant by “expensive and beautiful”, so that was fine. He styled his hair so it looked effortlessly tousled, but not too much, and set his camera to take the pictures by the living room window.
He took a few pictures on the windowsill, some other leaning against the glass with his hands in his pockets, a few others looking out the window. He posed on his armchair, too, which was the only piece of furniture he had in his living room at the moment and he wished he had a decent dining table so he could pose like he was on a date with the camera, but he supposed those would do.
Once he was satisfied with what he got, he took off the clothes, put them away and went downstairs to have lunch with Ned and MJ. For the first time since he moved in with them, they both had Friday afternoon off, so they spent it together, eating junk food, watching bad TV series and playing really old tabletop games Ned had brought with him when he moved from his parents’ house.  
In between a game of Monopoly and Scrabble, Peter pulled his phone out to check his messages, and was surprised to find one from Tony, sent just a few minutes earlier. He checked the time and noticed he must still be at work, so he opened it, assuming it couldn’t be anything too sexual.
“Hey, are you feeling better today? Just checking in.”
Peter frowned for a second, but a quick look at their earlier messages reminded him that he was feeling a little under the weather the day before and he’d told Tony that before he went to bed.
“Hi, Tony! I’m all better now, thanks for asking. I guess it was just allergies or something.”
He didn’t expect Tony to answer right away, but as soon as his message was sent, he started typing.  
“That’s good to hear, but you need to be a little more careful with your health, kitten. Just yesterday you said you had an apple for lunch. At 4PM.”
“You’re one to talk.” Peter snorted. They always berated each other for poor eating habits. Peter was a 20 year-old bachelor living by himself and sharing meals with his equally young and dumb friends, so pizza was on the menu more often than not; Tony was a forty-eight year-old businessman with too little time to care. “Did you even eat today?”
“Don’t try to turn this around, this isn’t about me.” Peter rolled his eyes and smiled to himself. “Did you do anything fun today?”
“I took some pictures for you, it was quite fun.” He knew the mention of new pictures would get him interested in a minute.
“Don’t play with my heart, kid. When can I see them?”
“I don’t know...” He teased just a little, because he knew Tony wasn’t above begging and it was fun to watch.
“Don’t be mean to daddy, come on. He’s always so good to you.” Peter smiled, because, yeah. He was.
“I’ll send them tonight, I promise.” He decided, since they would have more time to talk then, if he sent the pictures earlier, Tony would still be at work and Peter would still be at his friends’.
“Good boy.”
“You know I am.”
“What are you smiling about? Who are you talking to?” Ned looked suspiciously at him, so he quickly put the phone down and shook his head with a nervous smile.
“Just a subscriber with a bad one-liner.”
MJ looked at him like she knew a secret, but Ned just shrugged and finished setting up the game.  They ended up calling it a draw and ordering pizza afterwards, but Peter went back home early because both Ned and MJ had work the next morning.
Once he got upstairs, he went to edit Tony’s pictures and since it was still a little early to send them, he decided to check his twitter DMs. He didn’t read them very often, he already had his plate full with JustForFans, but every once in a while he checked them and answered as many as he could. Most of the messages were dick pics anyway, he just ignored those. Some others were people being nosy and asking way too personal questions, or worse, asking about Beck. He learned how to talk his way around those, but one message in particular stood out and really got to him.  
“I’m so glad you’re doing okay, honey! The way Beck is with his new boy now makes me wonder if he ever even loved you. He sure moved on quickly. You’re better off without him anyway, I always liked you better.”
That sort of comment wasn’t exactly unusual, but that second part caught him a little off guard. Makes me wonder if he ever even loved you. It just – why would she say that?  The way Beck is with his new boy. What way, exactly? What could he possibly be doing that made that person assume Beck never even loved him? People thought they were perfect together, they said it all the time, so much so that Peter himself was almost convinced of it for most of their relationship, so why in the hell would anyone think he loved this other guy more? To the point of assuming he didn’t even love Peter in the first place?
He was a masochist, he decided, as he opened Instagram. And not even the good kind of masochist, because there wasn’t any pleasure involved in what he was about to do, just pain. He unblocked Beck’s profiled and fucking looked. He didn’t know what he expected to find, but just looking at the first picture was enough to make him realize it was a terrible fucking idea. It was a black and white picture of him and the new guy cuddling in bed, kissing with soft smiles on their faces, captioned: “Nowhere else I’d rather be.”
Peter closed the app quickly, he didn’t need to see that. It meant nothing.
That picture meant nothing. That caption meant nothing. Because Beck was a fucking liar, a fucking actor, a fucking illusionist, a fucking – artist. He painted beautiful pictures, he weaved beautiful words, but none of that meant anything. Because it never meant anything when it was Peter in his arms, so why would–
Fuck, he should be over him, so fucking over him. But he really wasn’t, he would go back to that toxic environment if Beck snapped his fingers and that was scary to know. It was fucking terrifying to realize he was one text away from crawling back to him, even after all the humiliation, even after Beck just fucking up and left him with nothing – nothing –  he would still go right back to his arms. He still wanted to go right back to his arms.
It made him feel pathetic and weak because he knew that what they had was toxic and abusive. And he had known that for a while, way before they split up. Deep in his soul, he knew he was living a nightmare, day after day, over and over again, but he couldn’t fucking leave. He thought Beck was all he had. He promised him forever. He promised he would always be there for him. He was all Peter had in life, and he had lost so fucking much over the years, he couldn’t afford to lose anybody else.
But he did, didn’t he? He lost Beck. He was in someone else’s arms right that second, professing his undying, fake love.
Peter took a deep breath and held it a few seconds, then exhaled slowly.
He didn’t lose anything, he was set free. He was free and he had a record to break – it had been three days since he last cried about that asshole and he didn’t plan to ruin it.
He closed Instagram and went to his Just4Fans. He posted a few pictures from a phoshoot he did earlier that week that made him feel sexy and confident, which was the opposite of how he felt at that moment, but he was going to fake it until he made it.
In a few minutes, he got lots of comments and private messages with compliments, but somehow none of them was enough to fill the empty spot Beck left when he dumped him.
Well, none except for one.
“Were you planning on giving an old man a heart attack today? ‘Cause that’s how you give an old man a heart attack.” The silly message got a smile out of him, and that was a lot considering how broken he felt.
“Lol. It wasn’t in my plans, no, but now I’m worried. Is the old man okay?” He joked, and immediately got an answer in his inbox.
“He’s waiting for you to keep your promise. Says he refuses to die before he sees some pictures of you? Do you happen to know anything about that?” Peter chuckled.
“Oh, yeah, I think I know what he’s talking about. Hold on a sec.”
He selected his ten favorite pictures with the date outfit and sent them to Tony, feeling butterflies in his stomach for reasons he couldn’t explain. He lay in bed for several minutes, staring at his phone, waiting for an answer, but the older man didn’t say anything, even though Peter could see he was still online. He started to get a little anxious, worried that he had messed up somehow, so he messaged him again.
“Well? Have I finally rendered the old man speechless?”
Almost at the same time as he sent his message, Tony replied:
“I need to see you.”
Peter’s heart almost jumped out of his mouth when he read those words, eyes widening in shock. I need to see you. He read it a few more times to make sure it meant what he thought it meant. It couldn’t possibly – Tony wouldn’t want to meet him. That would be absurd. He was – well, Peter wasn’t sure, but he sounded important most of the time, he was definitely very rich, very hardworking and he seemed like a really nice guy. So really, why would he want to meet Peter. That made absolutely no sense, obviously he meant something different than that, he just didn’t quite know what–
“Please,” said the next message, just a few seconds later.
Peter bit his lower lip, feeling his face grow warmer. Just for the hell of it, he thought – what if Tony did mean he wanted to meet him? What then? Peter couldn’t say yes, that would be insane. He didn’t even know the man, all he knew were little things about his daily life, he didn’t know his last name, if he had a family, if he was married, if he was a psychopath – he didn’t even know what he looked like!
Still, he fantasized about saying yes. But that was just a fantasy. He couldn’t do it, that would be crazy.
Right?
“You won’t regret it, I’ll treat you right.”
Well, fuck. He had to go straight for his Achilles’s heel, huh.
Peter kept staring at the bright screen of his phone, breathing slowly to try to contain his wild heart that seemed adamant to burst out of his chest cavity in the next few minutes. He didn’t know what to say. No, his brain supplied, like it was obvious, because it was, right? He couldn’t say yes, yes was not a viable answer. He had to say no, it was only a matter of how he would say it without hurting the older man’s ego.
But.
Why exactly did he have to say no? He knew there were ate least 99 good answers to that question, but he couldn’t think of one, so–
“How do I know you’re not a serial killer?” Peter asked, even though he wasn’t really worried about that, it was the last thing on his mind, to be honest.
“You’ll know.” He said, plain and simple, and not helpful at all. And still, no flight response whatsoever from Peter’s brain. His stupid mind couldn’t seem to understand that that was clearly a terrible idea.“We’ll meet in a restaurant, the best in New York, and nothing else has to happen, I promise. We’ll have a nice dinner and that’s it. I just need to see you in person.”
That sounded reasonable, didn’t it? A public place, lots of eyes on them. If Tony turned out to be a creep, he could just leave. At the very worst, he’d be disappointed and lose a very generous subscriber; at the very best, he’d get a good meal out of it and who knew what else. It sounded reasonable. So it was probably reasonable.
Right?
“Can I wear this outfit?” He asked, because, well, that was all he had to wear to New York City’s best restaurant – whatever that was.
“You must, baby.” He answered quickly, and Peter smiled to himself. “So I’ll take that as a yes, then?”
He typed a quick yes, but didn’t send it right away. He gave his brain a few seconds to come up with reasons to say no, because he knew there were good reasons for that, but he really, honestly, just wanted to say–  
“Yes.”
“Perfect.” He replied right away, as if he had been staring at the phone, waiting for his answer. “I’ll set a time and place and let you know. You won’t regret it, Peter.”
Peter loved all the pet names Tony gave him, they were all sweet and funny, but when he called him by his actual name, it just hit different. It felt good. Like he wasn’t just a pretty picture in a porn app, an expensive hobby, but a person. It was hard for him to remember that, sometimes.
Some other times, it felt good to forget.
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Texts from the Lost Tomb, part 5.2
Also yes this is a 5 part story arc, why do you ask, no I’m not “avoiding real life work”
Main Chat
Wang Pangzi: YOU KNOW THERE ARE THOSE WHO WOULD COMPLAIN ABOUT BEING DRAGGED OUT OF BED AT AN UNGODLY HOUR FOR THE SAKE OF SOME JEWELRY AND FORCED INTO AN ADVENTURE
Wu Xie: And we are just so grateful you are above all that.
Zhang Qiling: You were fully awake and insisted we pack and go as soon as possible in case there was, and I quote, “more weird shit happening we can cash in on.”
Wu Xie: I mean it’s kind of interesting that the Zhang family sent a car for us. We could have driven. So what is going on there, I wonder?
Wang Pangzi: YOU KNOW FOR A PARANOID AND CONNIVING LITTLE SHIT YOU STILL RADIATE OBLIVIOUS BAMBI ENERGY
HATE TO BE THE ADMIRAL ACKBAR HERE BUT ITS DEF A TRAP MY BOY
WHY DO U THINK WE ARE MESSAGING AND NOT TALKING DUMMY
WERE YOU IN A TOMB ON THE DAY THEY TAUGHT PPL STRANGER DANGER
BUT NO NO YOU WERE ALL “LETS GET IN THE VAN WITH THE FREE CANDY AND PUPPIES I BET WE’RE GOING TO THE CIRCUS”
THIS IS THE LAST STRAW IM LOJACKING YOU FOR REAL THIS TIME, SHOULDVE DONE THIS YEARS AGO
Zhang Qiling: I agree, in this particular case, with Pangzi. You should not have gotten in their vehicle while we were still inside the house. It forced us to follow you into the van to prevent separation, and they seemed to be expecting that. I don’t know whether Zhang Rishan intended this, but I don’t trust him.
Wu Xie: :( I got excited and didn’t think it through. I’m sorry.
Wang Pangzi: DONT YOU GIVE US THE BIG EYES WE ARE IMMUNE
MOSTLY
SPEAKING OF IMMUNE ITS REALLY FUCKIN COLD IN HERE AND UR STILL SICK, PUT YOUR JACKET ON STUPID
Wu Xie: oh relax, I’m fine. No fever at all today, remember? I feel a lot better, too.
Wang Pangzi: YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE BUT TO HAVE XIAO GE INTERVENE
Zhang Qiling: It is odd to say this, but Pangzi is right again. You are barely back on your feet and could easily get worse again. Wu Xie. Jacket. Now.
Wu Xie: Oh fine. Teaming up on me, I see. Happy now?
Wang Pangzi: FUCKING ECSTATIC. NOW BACK TO HOW WE MAY BE PULLING A LI CU
Wu Xie: If it is an abduction, it wouldn’t be them moving against the whole Wu family—not with Uncle Erbai in charge. Zhang Rishan strikes me as someone who doesn’t make a move unless he is sure of his plan, and this is all a bit last-minute to be a big shift. Besides, they let Xiao Ge keep his sword and we still have all our phones.
Wang Pangzi: TOOK AWAY MY EXPLOSIVES THO THE BASTARDS
Zhang Qiling: In fairness, you were waving them around and yelling that if they tried anything it was going to be “yippeekiyay motherfucker all up in this bitch.”
Wang Pangzi: IT SOUNDS LESS COOL COMING FROM YOU. I THINK I SEE THE TEAHOUSE?
Wu Xie: me too. That’s Zhang Rishan on the steps. This must be urgent. Everybody stay shiny.
Zhang Qiling: I will be getting out first. Wu Xie in the middle, Pangzi at the rear.
Wang Pangzi: AND WHAT A VIEW;)
An hour later…
Main Chat
Wu Xie: Is everyone okay? I tried knocking but nothing is getting through, these are some solid walls.
Wu Xie: guys???
Wang Pangzi: OOPS PHONE WAS ON SILENT AND I WAS BUSY YELLING AT THE CEILING
IM PRESENT AND PISSED OFF
Zhang Qiling: Apologies, I was trying to break down the door.
Wang Pangzi: SO THIS MAY NOT BE THE TIME TO SAY I TOLD YOU SO BUT WHILE WE’RE HERE
Wu Xie: fuck Pangzi, I know, okay??
I’m an idiot, I’m so fucking stupid. It’s not like it’s the first or fiftieth time I’ve put you two in danger, either.
Wang Pangzi: HEY HEY WHOA NOW
STOP SAYING RUDE SHIT ABOUT MY FRIEND
ITS GONNA BE OKAY
DESPITE KNOWING THIS WAS A BAD IDEA I STILL COULDNT PREDICT HOW MUCH CHAOTIC LUCK THIS FAMILY HAS
DAMN IT I HATE WHEN HEI XIAZI IS RIGHT ABOUT THINGS
Zhang Qiling: I’m sorry. This is my fault. My line has a ruthlessly pragmatic streak and they’ve clearly wanted to test us separately to see why the necklace reacted to our arrival like that. It does not excuse Zhang Rishan trapping us in these separate rooms.
Wang Pangzi: UHH BITCH I SAID THIS FAMILY NOT YOUR FAMILY
THIS AINT ABOUT THEM
YOUR FAMILY IS ON MY SHIT LIST EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY
THIS FAMILY MEANT US OBVS
UGH ANY SIGN OF THE BASTARDS?
Zhang Qiling: no. Wu Xie?
Zhang Qiling: Wu Xie, answer me.
Wang Pangzi: WU XIE
TIANZHEN
PICK UP YOUR FUCKING PHONE DAMNIT YOU'RE SCARING XIAOGE
Zhang Qiling: I’m going to try breaking down the door again.
Wu Xie: Hello, Wang Pangzi and Zhang Qiling. My apologies for the rather inhospitable circumstances, but this seemed expedient considering the unknown qualities of the necklace. I could not be sure who was causing what, or what could happen next, and thus have temporarily set you in separate rooms for the sake of everyone’s safety.
Wang Pangzi: WTF GIVE HIM BACK HIS FUCKIN PHONE ZHANG RISHAN I KNOW ITS YOU YOU PRETENTIOUS ANTIQUE
WE DESTROYED THIS PLACE BEFORE AND WE CAN DO IT AGAIN
Zhang Qiling: Your concerns for everyone’s safety are noted. Thank you for whatever you believe you’ve done right here.
Now. If you release us immediately and return Wu Xie to us, we will consider leaving without direct personal retribution.
Wang Pangzi: WHAT HE SAID AND ALSO YOU SUCK
Wu Xie: I regret that this has happened, I hope to make it up to you in the future. For the purpose of today’s needs, however—I will have my men escort the two of you out if you so desire, but unfortunately Wu Xie will need to stay until we have finished examining him.
Wang Pangzi: EXAMINING??? YOU FUCKING PERV HANDS OFF HE MAY BE THE BELLE OF THE BALL BUT HIS DANCE CARD IS SPOKEN FOR
I SWEAR I DID NOT GO THROUGH TEN YEARS OF THIS STARCROSSED CLUSTERFUCK FOR YOU TO SWOOP IN AND STEAL MY FRIENDS BF
Wu Xie: There is no call for rudeness. He will not be harmed. The artifact was responding to him directly. It has not lit up like this in over 200 years, and I need to understand why it is responding, and responding to someone who is not our kin, which it has never done before. This could have implications for everyone in my family if it could protect someone at the right moment.
Wang Pangzi: OKAY BUT CONSIDERING OUR TRACK RECORD IN THIS BUILDING AND THE SITUATION AT HAND Y’ALL ARE ABOUT TO NEED PROTECTION
Wu Xie: The testing would be going better if Wu Xie wasn’t worrying himself unnecessarily over where you both are, it’s making our readings difficult.
Wang Pangzi: OH GEE SO SORRY YOUR KIDNAPPING VICTIMS ARENT THRILLED TO BE HERE TO SAMPLE YOUR CREEPY JEWELRY BOX BUT THAT SOUNDS LIKE A YOU PROBLEM
Zhang Qiling: Zhang Rishan. I appreciate that you must think of our family first in your decisions. As must I. I hope you can appreciate what that means for decisions I make.
Wang Pangzi: HEHEHE SO TRUE BESTIE
YOU PISSED OFF THE WRONG GOTH TODAY BUDDY BOY
Zhang Qiling: A compromise: we stay with him as you run your tests. That will calm him and assuage Pangzi’s concerns and prevent me from…testing the limits of your lifespan.
Wu Xie: I accept that this may temporarily impact our relations, but am hopeful that you will come to understand that sometimes I need to make certain choices for this family that are…difficult. I will come to let you—One moment. Something seems to be happening.
Babysitters Club Chat
Wang Pangzi: OH SO WE ARE GONNA JUST POLITELY SIT WITH WU XIE AS STRANGERS POKE HIM WITH NEEDLES ARE WE HUH WELL LOOK WHOS BEING A HELPFUL LITTLE LAB ASSISTANT
Zhang Qiling: I’m attempting to convince him to let us out. Of course we will not simply sit there. Some lying to gain trust is necessary here.
Wang Pangzi: UR BEIN A SHADY BITCH XIAOGE AND ITS HOT
THATS WHY YOUR TATTOO IS SO BIG ITS FULL OF SECRETS
ALWAYS KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU TO—WAIT WHAT WAS THAT SOUND??
At the same time…
Bonnie and Clyde Chat
Xie Yuchen: …so, this is not what I expected to find.
Hei Yangjing: yeah kiddo is a bit freaked out:/ this sucks. I mean I get that they are concerned blah blah blah necklace goes brightbright but maybe we should go find the other two
or at least find a way to let Wu Xie know we are here, that room he’s in looks like a dungeon and not in a good way
Xie Yuchen: Does it look like I’m able to do anything right now? Also, I’m fairly certain they won’t be harmed. Zhang Rishan may be callous, but he isn’t stupid.
Hei Yangjing: r u kidding
he split up Romeo and Juliet, then left Romeo with a sword—seems pretty stupid to me
Xie Yuchen: Yeah I’m not going near that. He made his bed with that choice. What can you see? These Neanderthal guards are blocking my view.
Hei Yangjing: uh so there’s like a lab table situation
Wu Xie isn’t tied up, a good sign in this context
I can’t see what those people are holding, they’re talking a lot and some asshole just grabbed Wu Xie’s arm, looks like maybe they are putting in an IV?
The necklace is—oh. Oh shit.
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marigoldwitch · 2 years
Text
My upstairs neighbor was arrested on Sunday 😌 I wasn’t here for it but her mugshot is on the local PD website 🤦🏻‍♀️ along with her boyfriend/father of her kid — who was also arrested Sunday.
Side note: No, I do not think this will change anything. She’s not gonna suffer any extreme consequences for this (she never does) and she’s gonna continue to be a problem for all of us in the building. Our PM told us, months ago, that she will never evict her no matter how many rules she breaks. So yeah… anyways…
We got a nice peaceful night when we got back home Monday evening but that lasted all of about 14 hours. Yesterday evening she seemed to have been fighting/arguing with herself (as I didn’t hear or see anyone else) and screaming about something and slamming into the floor. At first I thought it was because she thought we were responsible for the police be called Sunday. Despite us not even being home. Last time, back during Christmas, when we went out of town she had a fit 2 days after we got back and slammed into our ceiling for about 10 minutes before coming down stairs, hitting our door and, yelling at/threatening us for her getting in trouble for having drugs in her apartment. Of course it wasn’t us (we weren’t even here when she got in trouble) but she’s not very bright. Our car being absent from the parking lot all week didn’t seem to be noticed or the lack of any noise coming from our apartment.
So idk what she was yelling and being angry about last night. One time she was by herself and was mad at some dude (probs the guy who was arrested with her Sunday) that she broke out her own kitchen door window. And then swept all the broken glass off her balcony and onto my patio (y’all know, I told this story already. And yes, glass is still all over our patio along with her cigarettes, trash, kids toys and even old food — almost 5 months later).
And now she’s back on her bullshit. I can only hope that the PM has no say so in her future at our apartment complex and the owners, or housing authority, steps up and does what should have been done a year ago.
We’re leaving this summer no matter what. So this isn’t gonna be our problem for much longer. But the people who live in these apartments don’t have other options. They don’t have a voice. No one cares about them or listens to them. And it’s not fair to them. No one should ever have to live like this. No one should have to come home and feel unsafe and uncomfortable in their own place. Whoever gets this apartment after we leave NEEDS it to be somewhere safe and comfortable. I’m gonna make sure of that too by contacting as many local news stations and re-contacting housing authority, HUD, the owners — people need to stop treating low income residents as if they’re stray dogs; as if they should just be happy that they’re getting the shitty scrap leftovers.
6 notes · View notes
winterscaptain · 4 years
Text
through and through.
Aaron Hotchner x Gender Neutral Reader
a/n: this is our ajf minimal loss fic! as (usually) usual, its more fun if you read the rest of the series, but this one stands on its own just fine. lemme know what you think!!
words: 5.8k warnings: canon-typical violence, death, and injury, language, aaron Flexing on These Hoes™
summary: the septarian sect ranch situation is hard enough with the memories of waco. the knowledge you’re in danger, along with reid and prentiss, has aaron on edge. 
masterlist | a joyful future masterlist | requests closed!
“Everyone just stay calm!” 
Nancy turns, assuring you with a naive and placating smile, “I’m state police. I’m an officer of the state.” 
Stupid. Stupid!
“Well, there’s nothing we can do right now.” Emily, ever the voice of reason, assures from behind you. 
“We just have to calm down.” Your useless attempt at de-escalation is overrun by gunfire. 
“I can talk to him.” Lunde turns to go, and you reach for the back of her shirt, trying to pull her back. 
You manage to get past the goons in the front, while they stop Emily. There’s only one chance. “No, Nancy! Wait.” 
As you run after her out of the tunnel to the main level, you give her more and more space. The noise and smoke is a little overwhelming and you almost lose her in your confusion and distraction. Cyrus shouts to cease fire, but it’s in vain. The gunfire echoes around you, and you can’t help but think of Aaron. 
What if I don’t come home? 
She rushes to the front of the building, by the window, and addresses Benjamin. “Mr. Cyrus, let me talk to them.” 
You catch up to here in the chapel, reaching for her arm to pull her back to safety when something stops you. You can’t feel it at first, but when you watch Lunde drop to the ground, you know. 
Fuck. 
Hitting the deck right away, you put pressure on the gunshot wound that’s torn through your left shoulder. You breathe deeply, fighting the panic you know will only hurt you more. The shock still numbs the pain and when you look, it seems through and through. The back of your blazer is ripped through, and there’s a hole in the wall behind you. 
That’s a comfort. 
The last thing you needed was a .223 round bouncing around in your chest. You’re grateful enough it didn’t tear your arm off entirely.
You crawl around the corner and press yourself against the wall. With a groan, you remove your blazer and tie it around your shoulder as best you can. You chance a glance at Nancy, but she's already gone - unseeing eyes turned toward the ceiling, her hand limp on the carpet, blood blossoming across the chest of her teal blouse.
Damn it.
Cyrus’s men shout around you, and it feels more and more like an active warzone with every passing second  
“Man down, man down! We can’t stay here!” 
“Hold your fire!” 
You breathe as deeply as you can, tucking your arm to your belly and closing your eyes. The gunfire slowly ceases, the movement around you becoming only a little less frantic. 
Aaron will know. He’ll find us. We’ll be okay. 
Your shoulder twinges. The adrenaline is starting to wear off, and you only hope you go into shock soon for the sake of your pain tolerance. 
Aaron, please. Please hurry. 
+++
“Morgan.” JJ bursts through the glass doors and unmutes the television in the corner. 
“What’s up?” 
She increases the volume, and they hear, “... a routine question and answers meeting by Colorado Child Services has turned into a violent and deadly standoff between Colorado authorities and a fringe religious group known as the Septarian Sect.” 
Morgan stands, ready to leap into action. “JJ...That’s not the ranch were -”
“They’re still inside.” 
Derek’s voice rockets across the office as he calls for Hotch, who immediately ends his call and leaves his office, leaning heavily on the banister. Derek tells him you’re still in there, with Reid and Prentiss. 
“...at least three child services members are still trapped inside the compound.” 
No. 
Aaron swallows heavily, 
Keep your head, Hotcher. It’ll be okay. 
Phones start ringing all at once. Everyone looks to Aaron, and he’s already back in his office, grabbing his things. He flies back out, blazer slung over his shoulder and go bag in-hand. “Wheels up. Now.” 
+++
You watch as they haul Lunde’s body out of the way. Someone helps you to your feet. You’re feeling pretty dizzy. 
“Can I have some water? Please?” You know for certain you’re in shock now, and keeping your blood pressure and volume high enough is the only way you’ll make it out alright.
“We’ll get you what you need after we take you back to your people.” 
There’s always been a little part of you that believes in the nugget of humanity in people. Today, it might just save your life.
Emily rushes to you as you step down into the basement. Reid hovers, nervous and watchful. Emily’s voice is steady. “We need water and medical attention.” 
“First aid kit is in the corner.” Cyrus points and Reid jets off to grab it while Cyrus continues giving direction. Someone hands her three bottles of water, and she sets them by your side.
Emily’s hand flutters over your forehead, as if checking you for fever. “Are you alright?”
“I’m fine. Through and through. Just gotta stop the bleeding.” You know you’re slurring your words a little bit, but it’s not as bad as it could be. 
“I prayed this day would never come, but it has.” Cyrus shoulders a rifle. “God will see us through.”
Fuck. 
Cyrus’s eyes linger on you and Emily a little longer than is comfortable, but that’s the least of your worries. Spencer returns with the kit, pulling out packing gauze and wrapping. 
Emily helps you with your blazer and shirt, leaving your shoulder exposed to the mountain air. Spencer packs your wound while Emily starts wrapping the gauze around your ribs and shoulder. “You’re gonna be okay.” 
You put a hand on her arm. “I know. Thanks.”
+++
Hotch comes to a screaming stop in the SUV, his suit jacket long gone in the Colorado heat. He immediately makes assignments. “Dave, I’m making you lead negotiator.”
“Me?” Dave asks. 
“Why go to the students when I have the teacher?” Aaron’s eyes are probing and hold all the respect in the world for his dear friend. 
“Because the teacher is emotionally involved!” Dave cants his head toward the compound, and Aaron’s eyes follow, as if searching for you. Dave’s eyes stay steady on Aaron - watching him look for you. “And so is the Agent in Charge.”
With a defeated sigh, Aaron cops to it. “I know I am. This is a unique situation.” At Dave’s squint, he continues. “We have three agents who could affect the outcome on the inside.” His voice is low and riddled with tension. The concern radiates off of him in waves, and he can only hope it passes as concern for the whole team. 
In truth, it’s almost all for you. He can’t explain it, but he knows something isn’t right.
“I can’t be objective. I know them too well.” Dave does everything he can to pull Aaron from direct control, but he knows it's a lost cause. More than one part of him knows why. 
Aaron’s jaw tightens, and he’s more intense than before when he replies, “This outcome depends as much on our ability to predict the moves of our team as Cyrus. That’s why you’re the best man for the job.” 
“Assuming they’re still in a position to make moves.” 
The thought is near-unbearable. He softens, taking another approach. 
“I know how bad this is. That’s why I want you doing the talking.”
“Alright.” 
Aaron claps Dave on the shoulder, and it’s a silent thanks. Before they can move, there’s more commotion around the back of the FBI staging area. 
Goddamn it. What now?
“...I’m sorry sir, I’m under direct orders from the FBI.” 
Dave and Aaron share a glance, and Aaron leads the way to the argument. 
“I’m the Attorney General of this state.” 
He can’t help it. A smirk crosses Aaron’s face. 
Lawyers. Alright. I can do lawyers. 
There’s also a part of him relieved that he can offload some of this stress into some kind of altercation. An opportunity to flex his Juris Doctorate never hurts. 
“I demand to know why I wasn’t told that the FBI was sending undercover agents into the Septarian Ranch -”
Alright. That’s it. 
Aaron turns, an insulting kind of disbelief on his face. Steadily and without haste, he approaches. “The only thing that you’re in the position to demand is a lawyer.” A spike of anger strikes his chest. 
He knew about this raid. He knew and he failed to tell us. 
And now his people are in trouble. 
You are in trouble. 
“Who the hell are you?” The overblown AG turns on Aaron. 
Big mistake. 
“I’m Aaron Hotchner. Unit Chief. I’m the guy who’s gonna tell the Attorney General of the United States whether to charge you with obstructing a federal investigation or negligent homicide.” 
And it’s not an empty threat, dipshit. 
“You can’t talk to me like that.” Was that a smug smile on his face? 
Aaron steps up to him, nearly nose to nose. The adrenaline and anger and fear floods through him and leaks through his words. “Get off my crime scene.” 
Hard brown eyes stare down weak blue ones. Aaron wins. 
+++
“Then leave us alone.” Cyrus’s voice belies no tension as he paces. Your eyes follow him, much more alert now that much of the bleeding has stopped and you have some water in you. Emily strapped ice to your shoulder about twenty minutes ago. You might end up with a little nerve damage, but it's better than bleeding to death. 
“I’m afraid we can’t do that, Benjamin.” Dave takes a breath, delivering the information steadily. “One of the police bled out on the way to the hospital. So let’s just stop this before things get worse.”
Aaron’s brows, already low, get even lower. Derek, hovering behind Rossi, takes note. The tension in his unit chief is different and he doesn’t know what it is. 
“Please,” Dave continues, “just put down your guns and come out.”
A buzzing takes over Aaron’s senses for a moment, and he shakes his head to rid himself of it. He reaches down for a bottle of water, downing half of it before he puts it back down. 
“Now, the four child service workers…” That catches Aaron’s attention, and he snaps to. “One of them is dead. It wasn’t us.” 
You bite your lip, watching Benjamin pace near the door. That phrasing will do nothing but panic your team, and you know it. Tipping your head against the wall behind you, you throw out anything you can. 
I’m alright, Aaron. We’re okay. 
Aaron’s head drops and he wets his lips. He closes his eyes, doing his best to keep himself from running straight for the compound. 
No. Please. I’ll get what I get for wishing it’s someone else, but please let it be someone else. Anyone else.
What if it was Prentiss?
What if it was Reid? 
Guilt floods him and he pushes the thoughts aside. 
Dave keeps his voice clear and even. The depth of Aaron’s gratitude and respect is ineffable. There’s nobody better for the job. “I need a name to inform the family.”
“Her name was Nancy Lunde.” 
Aaron nearly collapses in relief, pushing away the guilt as it rises in his sternum. 
“One service worker was shot in the same altercation, but we have provided medical care and the wound is non-lethal.” 
Say my name. Say my name, please. 
He doesn’t, and you grind your teeth together. 
Dave nods, glancing at Aaron. “Okay. Now, please, Benjamin, send out your wounded, including the injured service worker. I promise they’ll be taken care of.”
“With enough supplies, we can tend to our own.” 
“Okay, I’ll need a few hours to put them together. I’ll bring them up myself at first light.”
You can’t hear what Dave says on the other end of the line, but Cyrus’s lack of reaction can only be a good thing. 
“You should get some sleep.” Emily, sitting next to you, checks over your wound again. Spencer’s on your other side with his eyes closed, but you know he’s not sleeping either. 
Closing your eyes, you reply, “I can’t.” Nevertheless, you reach for her hand. She slips her fingers into your palm. “Mm. Your hands are warm.” 
“Well, yeah. I didn’t get shot today.” She’d usually jostle you with a jab like that, but she knows better - obviously. 
+++
When first light comes, you open your eyes. You’re not sure, but it was likely you got at least a couple of hours of sleep. There’s a lot you don’t remember from the night before, but you know they shuffled you up to the chapel at some point. 
Probably a good thing. 
The ice has melted and your arm is all wet. You check your dressings and find them working well enough. They’ll still have to be changed, but you can’t deny the effectiveness of Emily’s instruction and handiwork. 
A car door closes outside. Emily stirs, immediately reaching for a nearby bottle of water. She hands it to you after she takes a couple of sips. Shuffling around Spencer, you take it with your good arm and drink as much as you can. 
Wait. Didn’t Spencer say you could do a transfusion with coconut water?
Do I even need a transfusion? 
Yes. 
Oh. Thanks. 
A knock on the door startles you out of your half-delirious thoughts. You’re grateful for the distraction. The feeling increases tenfold when Dave walks into the chapel.
Aaron’s nearby. It’ll be okay. He probably put Dave on this himself. 
“The children, and our guests.” Cyrus gestures to you, proving to Dave that everyone is in fact, relatively, alright. 
You turn your head (ouch) and meet Dave’s eyes. Looking back down, you’re satisfied he knows you’re alive. 
“I was hoping you’d let me take the children,” Dave says. 
Benjamin shakes his head. “Nah. They’re our protection.” 
We are, too, dumbass. 
The two men chat for a moment. Your heart feels like it grows three sizes as you listen to Dave do what he does best. 
It’ll be okay. We’ll be okay. 
You have to believe it. 
After Dave leaves, they make you stand off to the side while they pour wine for everyone present. Emily starts whispering, and you know she’s profiling the adults. It’s probably smart, but all your energy is focused on remaining upright and ignoring the throbbing ache in your shoulder. 
+++
Dave jogs back up to the staging area and assures them you’re all okay. He relays your condition to Aaron, “...but it looks alright. Well-dressed and not bleeding through.” 
Aaron nods. So that’s what the feeling was. You’re alright, but it’s still wrong. He shoves down something else that scares him a little. 
That’s a problem for another time. 
Is it a problem, though?
Yes. 
“He’s too calm. It’s - It’s like he was waiting for this to happen and now that it has, he feels vindicated.” 
Aaron rounds the table and comes to rest at Dave’s side. They’re in full strategy mode. The opportunity to stretch their abilities is welcome, but they both wish it was under better circumstances with lower stakes. 
His hands flutter uselessly at his sides. Restless energy still rockets around his limbs and he hates it. He hates feeling so deeply out of control. 
“I have a signal!” 
Derek, Dave, and Aaron flock to their headphones, tuning in just in time to hear Cyrus inform the congregation they have all ingested the poison together. 
+++
Emily’s eyes shoot around the room, and you know what she’s thinking. 
The profile didn’t indicate mass suicide…
This doesn’t fit
He continues to deliver his sermon and you tune out, focused on the faces of Cyrus’s followers. Right now, they’re more revealing than he’ll ever be. 
+++
“This doesn’t fit.” 
Dave voices Aaron’s thoughts exactly. It quickly devolves into discussion of a breach, and Aaron brings a hand to his forehead. He’s ready to go. 
“If we go into there, people are going to die.” 
Aaron’s hand flies out to the  side. “People are already dying.”
Rossi’s eyebrows raise, and Aaron tries to keep his hackles down.
+++
“What do we do?” Emily whispers. 
Spencer shakes his head. “Nothing.” 
“We have to do something,” you hiss. “These people just took poison.” 
“Cyrus just told them he did and I think he’s bluffing.” 
Emily’s brow crumples. “Why do you think that?”
Spencer’s following observations make sense - the notes, the watching armed bystanders. It’s strategically sound for Cyrus to weed out the weak in his congregation. 
After a moment, Cyrus admits it was a test of faith. “...Watch each other for signs of weakness. You are your brother’s keeper.”
+++
Frustrated, Aaron runs his hands through his hair. “Tell ‘em to stand down.” 
The tension is getting to him, as is the lack of sleep. Dave made him lay down overnight, but he never once closed his eyes. He was worried about Prentiss. He was worried about Reid. 
He was worried about you. 
I almost got all of them killed. 
Step it up, Hotchner. You chose Dave for a reason. 
Listen to him. 
+++
“...well into its second day, the standoff at the Septarian Sept ranch has now been taken over by the FBI. There was much speculation in regard to hostages…”
Aaron hovers behind JJ, completely tuned in to the news. This could be disastrous. 
“...But anonymous sources inside the state attorney general’s office have told us there is an undercover FBI agent currently being held inside the Septarian Sect ranch.” 
This is disastrous. 
Everyone reacts, but Aaron walks away. He can’t face this right now. There’s too much to do, too much to think about. 
Don’t do anything stupid. 
He only hopes you can hear him, somehow. 
Please don’t be a hero. 
+++
Cyrus enters, all bluster and confidence. 
Shit. Something happened. 
“Which one of you is it?”
You all just stare at him. He pulls a gun from his waistband and you jump a little. The movement twinges your shoulder, and you let out a small wince. 
“Which one of you is the FBI agent?”
Spencer is the first to speak. “Why do you think one of us is an FBI agent?”
Yikes, Spence. Question for a question.��
Wait. Maybe it will work. 
Something in you tells you to keep your mouth shut, and you do. The last thing you want is to screw up whatever Spencer’s cooking up. His brain moves a lot faster than yours. 
Don’t do anything stupid. 
“God will forgive me for what I must do.” 
You can feel your eyes widen as Cyrus raises the gun to Spencer’s head. You’re completely frozen, as if something’s physically holding you in place. 
Don’t be a hero.
You’ve been shot, idiot. Your shock response is all over the place. 
No, it’s different. 
Yeah. Sure. 
You roll your eyes at yourself, but quickly cover it by crinkling your face up in what you hope looks like confusion. 
“I - I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 
Cyrus looks at you and you shake your head, doing your best to look like a deer in headlights. “One of you does,” he says. “Who is it?”
Before you can open your mouth, Emily jumps in without hesitation. “Me. It’s me.” 
Spencer looks at her like she’s grown a second head. Cyrus lowers the gun and you take a breath. You don’t have much time to recover, though, as Cyrus snatches Emily by the hair and drags her out of the room. 
Your breath catches and you leap to your feet with Spencer. The dizziness doesn’t phase you, but your concern for Emily certainly does. 
Don’t cry. 
Don’t be a hero. 
There’s a gun to your head and you do your best to relax. You raise your good arm into the air, as if you could be a threat with a half-inch hole through your shoulder. 
Shit. 
+++
Between your gunshot wound and now listening to Emily getting the shit beat out of her, this is a bad day for Aaron. 
Someone else hauls you by your bad arm into another room, and you can’t help but yelp. They need to listen to Emily now, so you do your best to stifle the urge to cry out. You’ll answer all the questions as quietly as possible. 
They need to hear Emily. 
Aaron, please have ears in there. 
+++
Aaron very nearly throws the headphones off. He’d know your voice anywhere, even raised in pain. The overlapping cacophony of anguish breaks his chest wide open. 
“We gotta go in.” He stands and removes his headphones, unable to listen any longer. 
Rossi shakes his head, still tuned in. “We’d be risking the lives of everyone in there.” 
+++
You can hear Emily through the wall, and you bite your tongue until it bleeds. The man (who still has a hold on your arm), throws you into a chair. You let out a small wail, but cover your mouth with your good hand before speaking. “Please, I -”
“Did you know?”
“No. No.” They need to hear Emily. 
“Tribulation breeds resilience,” the man says, dropping close to you. His thumb digs into your wound. It’s too much and you internally apologize to Aaron as you let out a sob. “God rewards the resilient. He rewards those who cleanse themselves of evil.”
“Please -” 
He shakes you and man does it hurt. The pain shoots from your shoulder to your fingertips and zings all the way down your back. You’re hot and cold at the same time and don’t have the energy to fight it anymore. You break down, and sound falls from your mouth as the man continues to preach at you, all the while tweaking and twisting and squeezing your shoulder. 
+++
“He’s got them both.” Aaron stands, his palms pressed flat to the table. Hearing you in that kind of pain ignites something white-hot in his chest. He hurts for Emily, too, but at least she’s still able to talk. 
“I can take it.” Emily’s voice rings clear through the headphones, and they all freeze.
“Wait - Wait. Listen to what she’s saying.” Dave gestures to Aaron, who reluctantly tunes back in. 
“I can take it.” 
Derek scoffs. “She’s antagonizing him.”
“She’s not talking to him.” Rossi remains firm. 
Aaron’s hands get lost in his hair, restless and frustrated and useless. He takes a breath and ignores the sting behind his eyes. “She’s talking to us. She’s telling us not to come in.” 
He knows Emily. She’s just as smart as she is strong and wouldn’t antagonize Benjamin on her own. 
There’s a particularly vicious commotion and Emily falls to the ground with a sharp groan and a cough. 
That’s it for Derek. He throws his headphones off and starts to pace. Aaron’s the only one who leaves the headphones on. Even then, his eyes mist up and his jaw is so tight he’s almost afraid his teeth will shatter. 
+++
You slump back against the chair. “I’m sorry she lied to you. I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” The words choke out of you with a gasp. Your shoulder screams and the pain is truly breathtaking. 
Emily will forgive you for throwing her under the bus - you know you’d forgive her if the situation was reversed. 
Cyrus throws the door open. “The agent’s going upstairs. The other two are clean.” He looks at you with a certain degree of contempt and you keep your eyes on the floor. 
Don’t do anything stupid. 
Don't be a hero. 
Why those two phrases keep echoing around in your head, you have no idea. Nevertheless, they’re both good reminders. 
You’re returned to Spencer and slide into a chair. You tip your head back against the wall and listen to Cyrus question him. 
Why didn’t Spencer get beat up?
Not that you wanted Spencer to get beat up, of course, but it all seemed a little inequitable. You’d already been shot - isn’t that enough excitement for one day?
“On the next call, you should test them.” 
Oh, how I love you, Spencer Reid. 
He continues. “Test the negotiator. Make him prove he isn’t a liar.” 
This would only work if they had ears in the building. If Spencer has faith, so do you. Tears prick at your eyes and you think of Aaron. 
Please tell me he didn’t hear me. Please tell me they only had ears on Emily. 
You’re still the baby of the team, the newest, the youngest. You know that’s why Aaron watches out for you so carefully. He’s just protecting you. 
At least, that’s what you choose to believe. The other option is ridiculous, absurd, and nothing but wishful thinking. 
Don’t be a child. 
Spencer has Cyrus right where he wants him. You suppress a smile and hope it passes as a grimace. 
“What about you?” Cyrus turns on you and you’re proud when you don’t flinch. “What do you think?”
You shrug with your one good shoulder. “It’s a good idea, and the offer to exchange a child for information is a show of good faith. I’m sure they’ll appreciate that.” 
+++
Dave and Aaron share a glance. 
“They’ve got him.” 
A swell of pride crashes through Aaron’s chest. It’s just because you’re his youngest agent - the most time, the most potential. He has to keep you safe, he reasons. It’s the right thing to do. 
That’s not the only reason. 
He shakes his head, but the thought has its claws dug in deep. 
+++
As Cyrus reads the list of names, Emily appears at your side again. 
She looks awful - half her face painted with red and purple bruises, with more blossoming under her collar. You almost laugh aloud when she asks, “Are you okay?”
“Emily, you’re asking me if I’m okay?”
She huffs. “I didn’t get shot. Just a little beat up. We’re good. It’s not as bad as it looks.” 
Spencer’s mouth presses into a thin line. You both know she’s lying. “I’m so sorry.” Moments later, he relays the information for both your ears and your team outside. 
Cyrus looks at you, and you almost think he’s going to let you go, but his gaze slides past you. Spencer approaches him and they speak in hushed tones. 
When they’re through, Cyrus gestures to Emily and a pair of goons. “Take her back.”  
Emily looks only the slightest bit alarm as she’s taken back upstairs by the arm. If Spencer’s in, and Emily’s out, where does that leave you?
You elect yourself Reid’s shadow, silent and always right off his shoulder. Cyrus doesn’t seem to mind too much and if he does, he doesn’t show it. 
+++
“Drugging the food isn’t an option because of the children. We’ll have to go in.” The whiteboard marker twirls between Aaron’s fingers as he thinks. 
Indeed. Rossi, from his place in the corner, says, “The best time to hit them is when they’re least mentally prepared.”
“3am. Biorhythms are at their low point, then.”
“We need a diversion,” Derek notes. “Something that plays into his expectations.” 
Humvees, then, are clearly on the docket. As are bright lights and all the flash and glamour of federal law enforcement. 
Hotch and Morgan begin to volley, both men processing and paying close attention. 
“The plan depends on our people separating the diehards from the followers -” 
Derek interrupts, finishing Aaron’s thought. “And delaying Cyrus’s diehards from reacting to our assault.” 
“No, that’s not my main concern. They know what they need to do.” 
“So what is your concern?”
“Letting them know when we’re coming. The whole thing hinges on them being ready for us at 3am.” A thought comes to him then, and he reaches for a sharpie and a lid. Maybe your weird understanding of each other will come in handy, or Spencer will be looking for those signs he alluded to with Cyrus. 
Either way, it’s the only option. 
+++
Downstairs with Spencer, something catches your eye. 
Wait a minute. 
You’d know that blocky, left-hand slanted lettering anywhere. Aaron. 
Spencer sees it, too, and you share a glance. You offer him a little smile, and he nods, understanding you completely. This might just work. 
“I know what you’re thinking.” Cyrus startles you a little, and you step closer to Spencer. Your wound dressing has yet to be changed today, and the heat radiating off your shoulder has made you a little jumpy.
Just my luck to survive all of this and die of an entirely treatable infection like a sickly Victorian child. 
 “You don’t have to be a part of this. You can go.” He addresses the both of you, and bite your tongue again. You have to trust Spencer’s plan, and you know he has one. 
As you suspected, Spencer says, “I would prefer to stay. Somebody needs to tell your story.” 
“I’m glad it will be you.” Cyrus turns his gaze to you, and you nod. 
“I’ll stay.” 
He softens a little, and calls someone over. In what feels like seconds, you’re sitting down while gentle hands clean and re-dress your wound. It hurts like all hell, but you’d rather do this than throw the whole damn arm out. 
As you sit, Cyrus’s plan becomes clear. Explosives seem to pass from hand to hand without hesitation. 
Where’s Emily? 
+++
Aaron has no idea how long he’s been staring at the compound. He’s wound tighter than a spring, his body all straight lines of stress as Rossi approaches him. 
Finally, Aaron says, “I know I can’t go in there.” There’s too much at stake, too much on the line, too many emotions. He knows, somewhere in the back of his mind in a place he won’t acknowledge, that he would prioritize you. 
So, he can’t go in there. 
Dave nods. “I’m going.”
“If something happens to Prentiss or Reid or…” he trails off, unable to speak the thought aloud. “I - I don’t know.”
Dave looks over at him, understanding all the things he can and can’t say. “You’re not alone.”
+++
You can feel a shift in the air as 3am creeps nearer and nearer. Outside, inside, it’s all alive with activity and anxiety. You hug your arm to your chest, nursing a bottle of water. With fresh dressings, you feel a little cleaner, a little safer, but you know it’s an illusion. 
“Something’s wrong.” The goon’s observation brings Cyrus to the front window, and even over his shoulder you can see the humvees advancing on the compound. 
Nice work, team. 
“They lied to us,” he whispers something to his shadow. While Cyrus grabs his firearm, the shadow opens the door. The gunfire startles you, and you look to Spencer. 
Tell me it’s gonna be okay. 
His eyes are steady on yours and he nods almost imperceptibly. We’re going to be fine. 
Some of the lights go out and your eyes dance around the room. 
Aaron, this better be part of your plan. 
“It came from inside the building.” 
“Check the fuses.” 
The rapid discussions fly around you, but you keep your eyes on Spencer as much as you can. He’s spitting verses at the men around Cyrus, stalling. Luckily, Spencer could talk about nothing and everything forever. 
You knew that would come in handy one day, even if it drives you up the wall outside of life-or-death hostage situations. 
“...I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.” Cyrus smacks Spencer with the butt of his rifle, and Spencer doubles over. You can’t help him - not with one arm and certainly not without a weapon of your own. 
“You cannot convert my brothers.” Cyrus hits him again, and Spencer drops to the floor, and you crouch beside him, the very picture of fear. Oddly, you’re less afraid right now than you were before. “No one had to follow. God could have stopped me.”
There’s a breach, and you cover Spencer with your body as bullets fly past you from all sides. Cyrus goes down, and so does the detonator. 
“He just did.” 
You almost snort as you rise, but you rapidly remember time is of the essence. 
“You alright, kid?” You’re not sure if Derek’s talking to you or Spencer, but you nod anyway. 
Spencer, too, responds in kind. “Fine. Where’s Emily?”
“We got her out of here.” 
The breath you’ve been holding since she disappeared again leaves you, but a heavy throb of your shoulder replaces it. 
The girl you’re here for in the first place, Jessica, rounds the corner and you have a sinking feeling you know exactly what she’s going to do. Nevertheless, Derek calls out to her. “Sweetheart, come with me. We need to get you out of here. Come on. Let’s go, right now.” 
You snag Spencer’s sweater in your hand and follow him to the door. You watch as Jessica takes in Cyrus’s body, clocks the detonator, and then reaches for it. Spencer leaves your grasp.
You’re hot on his heels and it’s only then you have another fleeting thought of not making it back home. 
“Run!”
Derek’s behind you. You only hope it’s enough time. 
The explosion rocks you to your core and for a moment you’re not sure whether you’re alive or dead. When the ringing in your ears cools off, Derek has his arm around you. The smoke covers everything. Your eyes burn, coughs rattling through your chest and wracking your shoulder. 
You hear your last name, as well as Derek’s and Spencer’s. It’s Emily. 
She’s scared. 
Derek helps you straighten, and guides you down the steps. “We’re alright!”
You still can’t talk for your coughing, but you hear Emily’s relieved, “Oh, God.” 
She meets you in the middle while Aaron waits at the bottom of the stairs. He’s watching you. Emily touches the side of your face and you lean into it. You’re a little on the outside as she gathers Spencer into her arms. 
There’s something going on by Aaron, but you can’t quite hear it yet. Whatever it is, it’s over before Aaron’s hand is extended toward you. When your fingers meet his palm, he brings you close, careful of your shoulder. His hand meets the back of your head, and you press your face into his neck, blocking out as much as you can.
You don’t exchange words. There’s no need. 
He tucks you under his arm and you pass Jessica’s mother, watching the burning compound with bewildered eyes. 
+++
You sleep on the plane, your head resting against the window. Just as you suspected, you developed a small infection on the last day in the compound, but it’s nothing two weeks’ worth of antibiotics can’t fix. 
Hotch sits beside you, pretending to read something or another. His eyes keep tracking the same line over and over again. The moments where he thought he’d lost all three of you to the explosion plays back in his mind again and again and again. 
You can hear him thinking and you crack an eyelid. “Hotch.”
He immediately turns his head, ready to get whatever you need. Frankly, you look miserable. “Yeah?”
“We’re fine.” 
An eyebrow raises. 
“Fine. I’m shot and Emily’s beat to hell, but we’re alive.” You reach for his sleeve, running your fingers over the fabric. “I think you saved my ass, by the way.”
You pull your hand back. “Oh?”
“Yeah. Something in me kept telling me ‘Don’t do anything stupid!’ ‘Don’t be a hero!’ and I’m certain it can be attributed to your undue influence on me.”
The corners of his lips turn up just the tiniest amount. “Maybe so.” He slips his blazer off and drapes it over you. “Sleep. You need it.” He sees you about to interrupt him and cuts you off. “If I see you in the office at all before next week…” The empty threat speaks for itself. 
“Trust me. After my near-death experience, the last thing I want to be looking at is you.” 
Liar. 
“The feeling is mutual. You look terrible.” He smiles for real this time and you return it. A whisper passes through his head, and he pretends he doesn’t notice. 
Liar. 
+++
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