#I’m so sorry I’m being depressing | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rexxdjarin · 4 months

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Christmas is over. I’m happy but at the same time I’m sad. Ranting under the cut:

Do you ever just feel like you’re so alone? Like everyone has their own life and things they’re going and no one’s really there for you or thinking about you?

More and more as family functions occur they either get a lot smaller because people have since married off and are involved in other families now OR when people come everything becomes more about the cousins who are married or the ones with the kids and just less about me and what I’m doing.

I feel like there’s no one really there for me. I don’t have my own people to go to. I don’t have a partner. I don’t have kids or anything. It’s just me. And people tend to make me feel like I fade into the background a lot of the time. And I’m not trying to be self centered or the center of attention but it’s just like the things people ask me are never about me. It’s about some stupid societal norm thing I haven’t done yet and questioning me incessantly about it.

I don’t think anyone in my family really knows me or understands me or knows what to do with me. I just hate leaving the holidays feeling so profoundly lonely.

It doesn’t help that my stupid ex was there and people were being mean to my dog. Like everything just soured my night and I just wish I had someone who was just out there for me. Who I could go back to and was my person for nights like this when I feel like no one really heard or saw or understood me.

I’m so sorry I’m ranting and being depressing and sad on Christmas but I just feel really bad :(

#I’m so sorry I’m being depressing #I’m just sad

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itrulyhatethisworld · 20 days

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i just wanna cut everyone off and rot away in my bed

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im-nothing-and-n0body · 7 months

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I’m fucking miserable and I have no fucking idea how to fix it cause everything feels impossible

#mentally fucked #tw depressing stuff #mental illness #sorry for being depressing #i’m so tired

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lakrimasx · 4 months

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I’m a terrible person and everyone I love is suffering because of me

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prayingfordemise · 5 months

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Can’t wait for this shit to end

#depressing life #depressing shit #i want to diiieeee #i want to disappear #sorry for being depressing #tw depressing thoughts #tw depressing stuff #tw sui ideation #end it already #suic1de #mentally fucked #mentally exhausted #kill my thoughts #mental exhaustion #venting #vent #i’m so tired #i’m done

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anxietywasright · 1 year

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"Whats wrong?" What isn't.

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endlessmidnights · 8 months

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I have no reason to live but no energy to kill myself

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downpourshipping · 2 months

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He would never hate me for my mental illnesses and brain being fucked up and needing reassurance constantly,,

#f/o #self ship #self ship community #self shipping #f/o community #oc x canon #yumejoshi #he’s also fictional so he’s literally whatever I want #it’s probs better if I just keep my love to fictional character bc I don’t want to put another person thru dealing with me #or just generally being a fucked up person #sorry I’m having a minor depressive episode

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yumemiruuuu · 3 months

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Shi Qingxuan: Turn that frown upside down, bestie! 😊😊😊

Ming Yi: … I will end your fucking life.

#back to our regularly scheduled TGCF content on this account LMAO #i just finished volume 4 of erha and i am ITCHING to jump back in to TGCF all over agaib #will literally get a notebook to keep track of all the times characters were unhinged cough qi rong cough #天官赐福 #tgcf #heaven official's blessing #tian guan ci fu #tgcf incorrect quotes #shi qingxuan #i miss the wind master energy so much dude it’s unreal #seasonal depression? more like lack of wind master energy depression #ming yiiiiieahhhh boiiiiii #i’m so sorry for being the way i am #beefleaf #beefleaf incorrect quotes

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aboutmercy · 3 months

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thinking about how dongsik and joowon are the inverse of each other. thinking about joowon's journey realizing that blood is not thicker than water, ties can be severed from abusive family members (no matter how painful that is) and that among many things, his father's cruelty is what took away and destroyed dongsik's family who actually were a positive force in his life. many things about beyond evil appeal to me, but i mainly want to put a pin on the central themes of the show, particularly the failures of adults and parental figures, how that ripples through the lives of their successors in an especially vicious and self-destructive manner. this is a commonality found between multiple characters in the show (minjeong, joowon and jeongje) - but i want to put emphasis on joowon's struggle with this because his path to freedom was walked to completion, in comparison to minjeong whose life was cut short and jeongje who we part with carrying the painful knowledge that he may never achieve absolution, as his journey has only begun.

the show, technically starts at the beginning of joowon's journey/arc. unfamiliarity and discomfort force him to adapt and self-reflect, because the only way joowon was able to free himself was by breaking every rule his father set for him, going beyond his selfish confines and breaking down the walls he built. joowon is unable to get his physical body dirty, he is emotionally closed-off and is incapable of understanding why the people in manyang, particularly dongsik, would look out for anyone other than themselves. he is selfish, rigid, guilt-ridden and bashful; but it is exposure to dongsik's unwavering faith in and patience for others (for jeongje, for sangbae, for the people of manyang that have wronged him for years) that erode his harsh edges. dongsik, although not without flaws and contrary to what his outer appearance and manner of speech radiate, is kind and forgiving. that kindess, that forgiveness, as well as joowon's own guilt and shame is essential to getting him to a point where he is comfortable bloodying his hands, his clothes, and his face to protect dongsik (+ jihwa and her partner. to protect his friends).

dongsik recognizes joowon's pain too ("i know what it's like to be blamed for something you didn't do"). he sees his guilt, it's not inordinate to what joowon's done per se but a large portion of it brings so much shame to joowon ("please, stop doing unnecessary things out of guilt.") how could i have been so self-righteous when the man who bore me is responsible for so much misery? how do i rectify this, how do i absolve myself from the guilt? all dilemmas joowon grapples with, and dongsik, knowing pain and shame all too well does not grant joowon mercy when he is bowed down, forehead to cuffed hands while joowon's own are also cupping dongsik's, begging for it. mercy is letting joowon go, it's lifting the burden of responsibility off his shoulders - but instead, dongsik’s final request ensures that joowon truly atones ("i ask you to arrest me" - "no, how could i do that? i have no right") by informing him that the only way to live with guilt is to try and do right by the people who expect something from him. "joowon-ah", dongsik says as he softly picks up joowon's clenched fist, the look they share informs joowon that going through with the arrest is how he'll do dongsik right. it's what dongsik, his now friend, expects from him. that's what their final scene as partners is all about, in my opinion.

and something good does come out of dongsik's firm but tender confrontation. joowon gradually becomes a better person who seeks community and whose life, in return, is enriched by the friends that forming community gave him. dongsik and joowon's parting is bittersweet, but in letting joowon know that his actions matter to others and that he is wanted and expected by others - (jihwa, as part of the larger collective whose feelings towards joowon are influenced by dongsik's, texts him and checks in - that expectation to show up and empathy for when he does not respond is an invitation letting him know that there is a place for him if he chooses to occupy any) - dongsik sets him free.

#god im sorry i dont meta on here often but i physically needed to let all of this out.#user aboutmercy is obsessed with the thematic idea of granting and denying mercy? oh im SURE #also. joowon was such an ass in the beginning lmao i love him so much......#if dongsik was any less crazy and any less generally patient and kind as a character trait then it would've been so over for joowon #the contrasts i've noted between jwds are abusive home/loving family - kind/really mean - confident/insecure..#i'll perhaps find more on a rewatch. but it's so interesting how different they are yet so fundamentally broken #that they couldnt have resisted being drawn to each other.#ds to jw: 'the depressed and obsessive man in me sees the depressed and obsessive man in you'#beyond evil #lee dongsik #han joowon #jwds #also. sorry if this is bullshit i’m just……. filled with agonies. bc i love han joowon #jtbc beyond evil

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books-4-life9 · 4 months

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For anyone feeling happy…

Dear Thomas.

This is the first letter I could remember writing. Obliviously I don't know if I wrote any before the Maze. But even if it's not my first, it's likely to be my last. I want you to know that I'm not scared. Well, not of dying, anyway. It's more forgetting. It's losing myself to this virus, that's what scares me. So every night I've been saying their names out loud.

Alby, Winston. Chuck. And I just repeat them over and over like a prayer and And it all comes flooding back. Just the little things like where the sun used to hit the Glade at that perfect moment right before it slipped benath the walls. And I remember the taste of Frypan's stew. I never thought I'd miss that stuff so much.

And I remember you.

I remember the first time you came up in the box... Just a scared little Greenie who couldn't remember his own name. And from that moment you ran into the Maze I knew would follow you anywhere.

And I have. We all have. If I can do it all over again, I would, and I wouldn't change a thing.

My hope for you is that when you're looking back years from now, you'll be able to say the same. The future is in your hands now, Tommy.

And I know you'll find a way and do what's right. You always have.

Take care of everyone for me. And take care of yourself. You deserve to be happy.

Thank you for being my friend.

Goodye mate

Newt.

#not so happy #im sorry #sorry #sorry for being depressing #i'm sorry #sorry guys #sorry not really sorry #they make me so so sad #saddddd #i’m crying #nooooo #whyyyy #newt maze runner #the maze runner #newtmas #maze runner #thomas maze runner

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itrulyhatethisworld · 22 days

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i wish i could stab myself over and over again

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quins-makeshift-menagerie · 5 months

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Updated Mosy reference

#Mnemosyne Mew #mew #pokemon #art #2023 #ahh it’s late for me #for anyone wondering if I’m okay I’m #managing #I’ve gone from really depressed to jsut really angry so I’m trying to stay away from social media #just so I don’t accidentally hurt anyone’s feelings #I’d really hate that #but I see all of you being so very kind and generous #thank you so so much #I’m sorry I can’t do much to repay you in my current state #I’ll try and do another reauest event in the future maybe

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lakrimasx · 8 months

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Being miserable is so familiar, this is who I am

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prayingfordemise · 4 months

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FUCK THIS PLACE, FUCK EVERYTHING, FUCK EVERYONE, I HATE EVERYTHING. I JUST WANT TO FUCKING DIE OMG

#depressing life #depressing shit #i want to diiieeee #i want to disappear #sorry for being depressing #tw depressing thoughts #tw depressing stuff #tw sui ideation #end it already #suic1de #mentally fucked #kill my thoughts #mentally exhausted #mental exhaustion #i’m so tired #i’m done #losing my mind #im losing it #i want to cvt

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anxietywasright · 2 years

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I need to stop checking my phone every minute no one loves me

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