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#I’m still not great and showing age on humans I’ve like. just mostly figured out human face structure at this point
mythicalmongoose · 2 years
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So, trauma and Cobra Kai… Or, more specifically, mostly trauma and Daniel, I guess.
And, PLEASE, if you disagree so hard you absolutely must discuss it with others, don’t call me names and vagueblog about how “embarrassing” my opinions are. Just reply to the dang post or start a private group chat like an adult. This fandom ain’t that big. Stuff that specific gets back to me and is depressing/anxiety inducing to read. At the end of the day, these are fictional characters and I am not.
So, anyway, I don’t think the writers are failing Daniel by not addressing his trauma. I feel like fandom kind of overestimates how much events from the movies affect him as an adult. Anonymous asks are still off because of the last time I had an unpopular opinion, so let’s goooo…..
Trauma is a big, broad subject and, to be perfectly honest, my opinions on this subject might be largely fueled by my inability to figure out wtf people mean when they use the word, “trauma” these days. The word feels like it’s lost its meaning, tbh. And being frustrated by that feels like such a slippery slope bc you don’t want to gatekeep trauma. You don’t want to risk invalidating people’s experiences. But, at the same time, it’s frustrating to see the word bandied about for any and everything that’s even mildly unfortunate… And then used for meme purposes by people already playing fast and loose with the word.
One of the super fun conditions on my medical chart is c-ptsd. Which I’m mentioning just as context for where I’m coming from and not, like, “Do you even have a doctor’s note, bro? You can’t sit at the table with the ptsd cool kids without a doctor’s note.” Everyone’s circumstances are different. If something from your past is impacting your ability to function in your day-to-day life, you know it. You’re valid.
That said, Daniel is a fictional character. If you identify with him because you can project your own problems onto him, again, totally valid. But Daniel, in my reading of the character, is not an especially traumatized dude.
When we meet him in the show, he is THRIVING. Great life, loving family, a job he loves, wealth. And, while there was, unarguably, a significant amount of karate-based drama in his past, there is no indication that it meaningfully impacted him in a negative way.
When he’s blindsided by Cobra Kai, that’s completely reasonable. As is his response to most of the karate supervillains reemerging from his past. Like, the threat is RIGHT there. It’s healthy human behavior to react to that. Less healthy is how Daniel approaches those problems. But, imo, that comes more from a place of grief. Specifically, complicated grief, which is its own thing.
Daniel doesn’t have flashbacks apropos of nothing or outwardly innocuous triggers based on high school, Silver, ect. I imagine that death matches and being dangled off a cliff take their toll, but that feels like something Miyagi would have spotted and helped him address. Which is the healthy thing to do. To take traumatic events and move past them or use them as a sort of stepping stone that shapes you in some positive way. Which tracks with how lost Daniel seems in knowing how to deal with the events of CK without Miyagi.
Cobra Kai outliving Miyagi is untenable. It’s in trying to maintain Miyagi’s legacy that he gets mired in the past.
Being bullied for several months in high school is a story that Daniel exaggerates to his family in a, “When I was your age, I used to walk to school in the snow uphill both ways” fashion. Which isn’t something I associate with trauma. Talking about or making jokes about their trauma to cope, sure. This doesn’t read like that, though.
He doesn’t talk about Silver to people, but I’ve always felt like this is because he’s ashamed. He wasn’t gaslit. He barely knew Silver. Being tricked into punching 2x4’s wasn’t the part that affected him. He’s ashamed of that part of his life. He genuinely upset Miyagi; he feels like he betrayed him. For all his hatred towards Cobra Kai, the fact that he joined them isn’t something he likes thinking or talking about. And, shit, we all have that. Not karate drama, but periods of our life that we’re not proud of, moments you really don’t want to bring up unless pressed. Especially now that the person you hurt the most is no longer around.
Which is already plenty depressing and complex without insisting that it was also traumatic in other ways? I don’t think alarm bells going off when you see the unhinged man who bullied a high school kid returning to Cobra Kai to teach children is a response that screams unprocessed trauma. Again, that’s exceedingly reasonable. Which is, perhaps, why it bugs me so much that people harp on Johnny for not being sympathetic enough.
Johnny grew up in Cobra Kai. Kreese was his sensei/father figure. I don’t think Silver registers as particularly egregious in a way that warrants him suddenly turning into a character with a way higher emotional IQ than the one he’s got.
People complaining that they wrote Johnny, Kreese, and Terry with considerable trauma-based issues as if this is something unfair to Daniel is what gets under my skin more than anything. It feels very, “Hey guys, mom said it was my turn to have the trauma.” Like it’s a desirable thing to have. Which is all well and good in fanfic, but demanding a character have trauma that’s explored and addressed because it’s not fair that the writers address the trauma of other characters is just… Ugh. It reminds me of the, frankly alarming, number of people who have told me that they envy the traumatic things I’ve been through because they feel I have more life experience than them. A lot of the talk I see around Daniel and trauma feels romanticized or fetishistic in a way I have a hard time putting my finger on.
Johnny’s c-ptsd and Kreese and Silver’s PTSD  is not the writers playing favorites. Daniel has his own, no less compelling, problems and I feel like those are already being touched on in ways that are plenty emotional… As evidenced by the fact that I have cried no less than twice over how much he misses Miyagi this week. It was that time of the month. Don’t look at me. It’s sad, okay?
/wall o stream of conscious text that was hopefully coherent.
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githvyrik · 3 years
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some sketches I’ve drawn of gith characters, mostly just to figure out designs for npcs. join my gith agenda
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writing-with-olive · 3 years
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How to write essays fast
I've been writing a lot of papers, so that's what's on my mind.
So this mostly applies to your standard 5-paragraph paper, though it's fairly straightforward to adapt it to longer (or sometimes shorter) assignments.
One of the main things to note is that essays are VERY formulaic, so knowing the formula and being able to write down your ideas in a way that fit into the formula is probably the number one way to get stuff done fast. Because of that, most of what I’m covering is breaking down the formulas so they’re more accessable.
Also this got very long. If there’s anything you want me to expand on just let me know in the comments or send me an ask/DM and I’ll make another post that goes more in-depth about it.
Structure (I hate this step, so I’ve figured out how to do it very fast becuase it’s still important)
The first thing to consider is prewriting and structure. To start, there are two major paper structures I usually consider. The first goes
Introduction
Main point #1
Main point #2
Main point #3
Conclusion
This is good if you have a lot to say on the topic, or if it's something closer to a summary essay where there's not really an opposing side. In something where there are distinct sides, (or if you have less to say to support your own side), you may want something that looks like
Introduction
Main point #1
Main point #2
Why the other side is wrong
Conclusion
The "why the other side is wrong" side is involves thinking through the MOST credible arguments the other side might make, and methodically breaking them down to show how they don't work. The stronger the argument you choose, the more effective this is.
Since I personally hate prewriting with a passion, I usually do this step very fast and end up with an outline that looks like
Intro [insert thesis statement]
P1: [three word summary]
P2: [three word summary]
P3: [three word summary]
Conclusion
(thesis statement, introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion tips are all below the cut)
Usually, this is enough so when I look at my outline, I can see what I'm trying to focus on for each paragraph - and do so without straying from my main point.
For the prewriting, the main things to do are identify with basic structure of the two will serve your purposes better, and write a thesis statement that solidly supports your argument.
Thesis Statement
There are so many guides about creating thesis statements that are powerful, but I'm just going to quickly go over how to be fast about it.
The first thing to know is that a thesis statement is usually a complex sentence: it's your entire essay distilled down to a single line. The general formula I follow goes something like this:
"In their [media type] [name of specific piece], [creator's full name] explored/demonstrated/other verb [theme you're going to be arguing about] demonstrated/using/as evidenced/as shown by [example 1], [example 2], and [optional example 3]."
For example, a thesis statement that follows this format might go
“In his short film Job at Place, David Davidson explored the manifestations of human stupidity through the absurdity of the main character’s home, school, and office.”
Or, if you're writing a historical piece, it might look something like this:
"In [place/time period], [thing you're arguing was happening]: they had to/the conditions were such that/other thing to set up a list [example 1], [example 2], and [example 3]."
For example, a thesis statement that follows this format might go
“During the Tusken Invasion of 32nd century Tatooine, it was the lives of the children that were most affected, from their social development and connections with others to more personal struggles they didn’t yet have the tools to overcome.”
The examples you give are going to correlate to your paragraphs - example 1 is for body paragraph 1, and so on. 
Introduction
I like to think of the introduction as a funnel that gets more and more specific.
First, write a broad statement that touches on whatever theme you’re referencing. 
Job at Place is about human stupidity, so something like “while great minds have flourished throughout the ages, so have the not-so-great.”
Tatooine is about war, and about child development, so something like “children’s development has always been impacted by the state of the world around them.” or “war has many effects, many of which impact those not directly involved with the conflict.”
The idea is that it’s a broad statement that can almost be looked at like a universal truth.
Next, you’re going to go deeper - two sentences that narrow down the time and place you’re talking about specifically, and how that time and place fit into your universal statement. 
The fourth sentence gets even more specific - introducing how the thesis sentence fits into your first three sentences.
Then the last line is your thesis statements. 
Body Paragraphs
Your three main body paragraphs all follow the same formula. (I’ll get to the “why the other side is wrong” paragraph in a minute)
The first sentence you’re going to want is a topic sentence. For this, you’re going to want to look at the example you gave in your thesis statement that corresponds to this paragraph, and see how it relates to your central claim. 
If we’re going with the Job at Place example from above, for the second paragraph, you might open with a line like:
“A striking characteristic of Davidson’s short film was the abnormality of the main character’s school, used to showcase exactly what happens when poor decisions get taken too far.”
Everything within the paragraph will then back up the claim you’re making in the topic sentence (which in turn is backing up your thesis). 
For each paragraph, you’re probably going to want about three pieces of evidence, either in the form of direct quotes (plucking words directly from the source) or paraphrased quotes (summarizing what happened in your own words). The quote should be used to directly support your argument.
After each piece of evidence, you’re going to want about... twoish lines of analysis (this number can change as you need it to, but two lines is something solid to fall back to). 
While analysis can take all kinds of forms, one pattern you can use if you’re stuck is
evidence sentence 
what it means
how that meaning ties back into your main point
Following this pattern, a piece of analysis of Job at Place might look like:
“One of the first images of the private school is that it’s a tall spire with creaking stairs and loose floorboards. Despite this, the principal has eight personal cars parked outside on full display. While the first glimpse of the school might indicate that there is little money to care for the structural integrity, the notion is directly negated by the principal’s actions. By using these two images, Davidson demonstrates what can happen to the youth when those in power let greed carry them away.”
After you write your analysis, include some kind of transition phrase, and go onto the next piece of evidence.
The last line of your paragraph is going to transition into the next paragraph while also summing up the main point of what you talked about in the current one. (This line can also get moved down and tacked onto the beginning of the next paragraph, before the topic sentence, but I have found it tends to look less cohesive that way).
You might choose something like:
“While the school was a disaster in its own right, it wasn’t the only example of human folly.”
If you’re writing a “this is why the other side is wrong” you’re going to want to think about the MOST compelling arguments the other side could make. Take the top one (or two), and figure out ways to crack them apart using evidence from your source material.
In this case, your topic sentence might start off with something like
“While opponents might say [insert compelling counterargument], their reasoning breaks down when one takes into account the evidence.”
At this point, you’re going to follow the same formula as above. The main thing to keep in mind is that for the duration of this paragraph, your point is that the other side’s claim of X is wrong.
Conclusion!
If you know what you’re doing, this is actually the easiest part.
(wait, what??????)
The thing is, you NEVER want to introduce new ideas into your conclusion. Instead, you’re summarizing your main points.
The formula I follow per sentence is:
Thesis statement but reworded (you can change the sentence structure too)
Topic sentence for paragraph 2 or 3, but reworded (I’ll explain why you shouldn’t do the sentence for P1 in just a sec)
Topic sentence for paragraph 1 or 3 but reworded
Topic sentence for paragraph 1 or 2 but reworded
Wow sentence or question (i’ll get to this too)
The idea for the middle three sentences is you don’t want them to read as repetitive, so you’re going to mix up the order so it doesn’t match the order of the rest of the essay. This will help to keep it fresh.
The wow sentence is basically the last impression you get to make. I find it’s usually a good idea to go just a tad dramatic (it sounds dumb, but it has never failed me). If I can’t think of anything, a declarative statement on whatever major theme was being discussed throughout the essay usually does the trick.
Examples:
All of this shows that in the absence of friendships and platonic love, humanity will falter.
Fiction may seem far fetched now, but if the world falls into those same mistakes, it’s only a matter of time until it becomes a reality.
Art has existed for as long as humans have populated the earth; it’s not going away any time soon.
A lesson everyone must understand is the most powerful weapon isn’t anything physical or tangeable: it’s the ideas that exist in the minds of those who care.
(I told you they were going to be dramatic) A way I look at it is if you can’t imagine dropping the mic on the last line, it needs to be stronger (yes I found that plagiarized with not even a whisper of credit on Pinterest, but it works).
If you wrote a SOLID essay, consider ending with a question aimed at the reader (this will push your essay in the direction of either the positive or negative extreme: a strong essay will become stronger, a weak essay will become weaker). Questions can be a call to action or rhetorical as a means to drive home your final point. Becuase they’re more nuanced to the content of the essay, I don’t really have great examples to give you though (sorry).
Hopefully this is useful to at least some of you - good luck!
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Tagging:@candlemouse
If you want to be added to or removed from any of my taglists (found pinned to the top of my blog) just let me know :)
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howard stern
I'M BACK BESTIES!!!!! i'm not totally back to my normal writing, but I finally got through a whole piece! anyways I really liked this and i hope you do too :)
warnings: howard stern being a bitch, talk of weight & body image
word count: 2.1k
"Hello Harry, how are you doing today?"
"I'm well, thank you," Harry answered with a smile. He was on the Howard Stern Show, his first interview since Stevie had been born. He hadn't really wanted to; Howard was kind of a prick. Everyone knew this, but Jeff was convinced this was the right move. He said it would be good for Harry to get back into the swing of things, and no one else was available on short notice. In the end, Harry only agreed because you had pushed him to, reminding him it wouldn't be a very long interview and then he wouldn't have to interact with the abrasive man again for a long time.
"That's good to hear," Howard said. "How have you been these past couple months? Have you been getting anything done?"
"Not much that's music related, honestly," Harry laughed. "I've been busy with family things."
"Yeah, you've kind of been hiding away from the world for a while here, what's that about?"
"Well, as I'm sure you already know, my wonderful wife had a baby recently, so I've been pretty busy... just navigating the world of fatherhood." A smile crept onto his face at the mention of Stevie.
"That's a lot, isn't it? Babies are awful at that age," Howard chuckled.
"Uh- I wouldn't say awful," Harry's smile dropped a little and he sighed internally. He already knew how the rest of this interview would go: thinly veiled insults, questions that were way too personal, and having to pretend he didn't want to get up and walk out of the room. But he knew that wouldn't be a very good look for him, so he gritted his teeth and tried to think of happy things. Specifically, the fact that he would get to go home to his wife and baby in less than two hours. "She's a very sweet baby, we're completely in love with her."
"Yeah, sometimes they're cute, but mostly they just cry and wake you up in the night, don't they?" Howard asked smugly, as if he knew Harry's baby better than Harry did.
"Well, of course she wakes up in the night sometimes. She's hungry, can't blame her for wanting food, can I?" Harry asked, trying to speak lightly and with a smile, but he could feel his patience slipping. He was ready to go home and he was not in the mood to pretend to be happy when this man was clearly insulting his child.
"Sure, I just wish babies could be a bit less annoying when they want something."
Harry nodded, plastering a smile that hopefully looked real on his face.
"So, besides the annoying baby, how's the family? Everybody healthy over there?"
Harry nodded. "Everybody's happy and healthy. A little sleep deprived, of course, but we're managing well, i think. And by we, I mean Y/N. She's truly... just amazing. I have no idea how she does it- she's the one keeping everything together. There's no way I could do any of this without her."
"Yeah, she seems pretty great! I remember though, at first we were all a little uncertain about her. She's not exactly like the other women you have a history with, is she?"
"She's-" Harry started talking, but Howard cut him off.
"I just mean, we were used to seeing you with models and actresses and the like, so it was a bit of a shock to see you with one of us commoners, you know?"
Harry huffed a small laugh, still trying to sound polite. "When you love someone, that's all that matters."
"Right, of course, but don't you get bored sometimes? You stopped going out so much when you got with her, almost like she was keeping you captive or something," He laughed.
"Are you asking me if my wife forced me to stop hanging out with my friends?" Harry squinted at the man.
"No, of course not, but..." He leaned closer with a malicious gleam in his eye, like he was about to hear some big secret. "Did she?"
"No," Harry said firmly. "She did not."
"Okay, okay, if you say so," Howard put his hands up, but then he leaned in again and spoke in an exaggerated whisper. "Blink twice if you need help."
Harry played it off with a laugh, crossing his arms over his chest.
"He's good," Howard laughed loudly. "Anyways, let's move on. Since you two are supposedly so happy-" He paused again, as if he expected Harry to cut it and give some dramatic confession about how terrible his relationship was behind closed doors. Harry only raised his eyebrows, signaling him to continue talking. "Tell us about that. When did you two get married again?"
"Almost 2 years ago," Harry said with a smile. "Our anniversary is coming up, actually, it's in 3 weeks."
"Oh wow, you guys moved fast with the whole kid thing, huh?"
Harry nodded. "We both knew we wanted kids and were ready to have them, so... yeah."
"Yeah, no point wasting time, right? How was Y/N after having the baby- Stevie, right?"
"Yeah, her name is Stevie," Harry smiled. "She was good. Again, she's amazing for going through that. She's- i'm just so lucky to have her."
"Did she bounce back right away?"
"I'm sorry?" Harry's brow furrowed.
"You know, did she get her figure back fast? I know that's a big issue for some women," He laughed again.
"Are you-" All traces of Harry's smile were gone now.
"I just mean, I hope she's working to get rid of the baby weight," Howard said casually, as if his words weren't extremely rude. "Just to make sure she can fit into her old clothes!"
Harry cleared his throat. He knew he had to speak very carefully, since this was something you had been very self conscious about. "Well, the two of us are concerned with the new life she brought into the world, not some old clothes, but she looks as beautiful as ever. The amount of pressure women face to live up to certain standards is disgusting to me, and it's especially bad for new mothers. My wife just went through an incredible process, she grew an entire human being in 9 months, then went through labor and the delivery, and she's being told to worry about her figure? That's wrong."
"Right, right, of course," Howard smiled, but Harry could tell he was annoyed at how he couldn't be tricked into speaking badly about his wife.
"I'm really over the whole thing, honestly," Harry said. "And I'm not even the one going through it."
Howard laughed nervously, seeming to finally take the hint that Harry was uncomfortable and annoyed with the topic. "Let's talk about your latest movie, why don't we?"
Harry was closed off through the rest of the interview; anyone could see that. He laughed less, his arms stayed crossed, and his answers were short. He was professional, but it went no farther than that. There was no more playful joking or easy conversation, just Harry trying to get through the interview as fast as he could. When it finally came to a close after his final song, Harry couldn't pack up fast enough. He made sure to say a polite thanks and goodbye before he hurried out to his car.
He sighed deeply before picking up his phone to call you.
"Hi baby!" your happy voice came from the other end. That was good, he assumed that meant you hadn't listened to the interview yet.
"Hi love," he smiled, his mood already improving just from hearing your voice. "Did you listen to the interview?"
"I have been- I couldn't right at the beginning, Stevie was crying, but I caught the end. Why?"
"Why was she crying?" Harry ignored your question, instantly worrying about his baby.
"Sometimes babies cry for no reason, Harry. She's okay, I promise. Anyways, what's up with the interview?"
Harry sighed. "Just the normal for a Howard Stern interview- he asked some very personal and rude questions. Just prepare for that."
"What else is new?" You laughed. "Are you coming right home?"
"Yeah, unless you need anything?"
"Nope, I think I'm good. See you soon!"
"Love you, bye," Harry said, ending the call and starting the car to begin the drive home.
-----
"I'm home," Harry called, removing his coat as he walked in the door.
"We're in here," you responded, not moving from your spot on the couch where you were nursing Stevie.
Harry walked in, a small smile on his face as he looked at the two of you.
"Hi," He sighed, plopping down on the couch next to you.
"That bad, huh?" You asked, taking in his dejected tone.
He hummed in response, leaning his head on your shoulder. "Those interviews are... always something."
"Yeah, I only caught the end, but you sounded pretty upset. What did he say?"
"He just..." Harry shook his head. "I don't think you should listen to it."
You turned your head to look at him. "Why not?"
"He's just very rude and pushy, as always."
"Yeah, i figured, but I wanted to hear your songs," you argued with a small frown. "Did he say something really bad, or...?"
"He just makes some very impolite comments about you and our family."
"Oh," You nodded lightly. "I think I'll be okay, baby. I appreciate you trying to protect my feelings, but I'm used to it at this point, and I really couldn't care less about his opinion of me."
"Alright," he sighed. "If you're sure." He pulled out his phone, checking his email and going through some messages while you started the interview from the beginning. You could hear him grumbling under his breath and huffing every time Howard said something rude, but you ignored it, just laying a hand on his leg to calm him down.
By the time it was over, Harry was clearly not too happy. "I can't believe I went back on that show," he shook his head. "I'm never doing that again. I'm so sorry about what he said about you, I honestly should have just left-"
"It's okay," you cut him off with a smile. "Also, it was kind of hot to hear you get mad at him."
"Yeah?" He smiled back. "I thought I was very tame, actually. I wanted to say some other things, but I figured that wouldn't be a very good look for me."
"Right, but the way you attacked him but stayed professional... very hot," you laughed, leaning in to kiss his cheek. "I love you so much."
"I love you too," He smiled, turning his head to kiss your cheek in return. "Is she done? I really need to hold her after the day I've had," He sighed dramatically, throwing his head back.
"I'm sure," you laughed, handing Stevie over to him and pulling your shirt back into place. "She's all yours."
"Hi baby," he cooed, holding her close to his chest. "I missed you so much."
Stevie yawned in response, cuddling into him.
"Oh, you missed me too?" He grinned. "See that? She missed me."
"She did," You agreed. "She was looking around when she heard your voice on the interview, she wanted to know where you were."
"I'm sorry," he pouted down at her. "I'll never go away again, and I'll never let the bad man be mean to you again."
"I don't think she's too upset about it, Harry," you laughed. "She is only 3 months old. She didn't exactly understand anything that went on."
"Excuse me," he said, looking very offended. "She may only be 3 months old, but she's very smart."
"Right, she's a genius baby, how could I forget?"
"I don't know," Harry shook his head at Stevie. "How could she forget how smart you are, hmm?"
Stevie yawned again, stretching her arms above her head.
"She's ready to take a nap," you said.
"Can I just hold her? I know it's not a good habit, to let her be held to sleep, but I don't want to put her down yet," Harry said, looking up with such pleading eyes, you couldn't possibly say no. Not like you would have said no anyways, but he didn't need to know that.
"Of course you can," you stood up, kissing his forehead before you turned away. "I'm gonna do the dishes, then we can watch something if you want."
"No, let me do those," he immediately protested.
"Harry, it's okay, I haven't done anything around the house since she was born-"
"And I'm not about to let you start now," he cut you off. "Come back here, please? Let's start that new show we were looking at the other night."
"Fine, but later I'm going to help you with the dishes."
"Fine," he smiled, agreeing with your compromise, even though you both knew he would argue later. "Now come back here."
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monkey-network · 3 years
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Good Stuff: Pixar’s Soul
SPOILERS AHEAD
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Reviewing animation is a passion of mine; you probably know that if you’ve followed me long enough. I enjoy doing it for everything new that comes as much as the good stuff of yore. I can’t tell you why I got into it long as I have or if I should consider a full time gig of it, all I know it’s that it’s as much my passion as many other things in my life. That really is a piece to a personal puzzle I’ve developed as I watched Soul, this film from a studio that I admittedly wasn’t sure if it could get its groove back after it felt like they were stumbling a bit. The SparkShorts are good, but Incredibles 2, Toy Story 4, and Onward especially didn’t resonate with me. Didn’t tell me Pixar stood out as much as they in the “Golden Era”. This one did, and let me say it kinda cut deep.
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Off the bat, as I understand that the trailers were quite a turn-off, I came to know before watching this that they weren’t trying to reveal everything. Honestly, the trailers were purposefully misleading as the most of what we got from the “Inside Out Knock-Off Blue Blob” world was a little over the first twenty minutes and the very, very end for the climax, less than you’d believe. It is the point I wasn’t too invested in with how simple it all felt; it’s basically if Microsoft or Google developed your birthright. It luckily doesn’t blow smoke up the ass with the way it runs things, takes more shots at ethical philosophy than any religion I could think of, but there’s good reason why we’re not in this world for very long. The Soul world did it’s purpose, but a little too well because it really wasn’t interesting outside the bond between Joe and 22 and a few laughs. Like I said though, we aren’t in it too long before we jump back to Earth with something I should’ve expected with this film but was still blown aback. I’m talking BODY SWAPPED ADVENTURE, Baby! [[SPOILERS AHEAD]]
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Far Enjoyable than Your Name, don’t at me
A good chunk of the film has 22 in Joe’s body, Joe in a therapeutic cat’s body, and I’m surprised at how much engaging it was. It helps that 22 is never by any means a nuisance and they actually pull off the mechanics behind the trope well where it doesn’t feel like 22 in Joe’s body is annoyingly all over the place once she gets used to it. Weird that all of New York didn’t seem to give a shit about a middle-aged man stumbling in nothing but a medic robe, but never crossed that line for me to say, “Okay, this shit is stupid.” But what really makes this, basically the majority of Soul work, is Joe (or 22) interacting with the city.
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If there’s one great takaway for this, it’s indeed the musicality for the New York life. The barbershop, the subway, the jazz club, the tailor suite run by Joe’s mother, the living streets really make this city feel like a character in its own right. I say this film makes every person we meet count for something. The devil’s truly in the details; every location has a story to tell as well as remind viewers, myself especially, of people and places so close to life. The story paces along nicely too as we get to the “main event” before getting to the moment that made me cry the second time. I cried a total of four times, mostly in the latter half of the film because that was where things were certainly coming together. That was where, I doubt intentionally, the film hit me in the heart more than I could’ve imagined with the simple thought:
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I was Joe and 22, and I still am from time to time
Sappy consideration, I know, but to get a little philosophical & personal for a bit. This film is generally about the direction of your life. Joe had a direction set in stone for himself to play the hottest jazz gig despite professedly doing/trying nothing else big with his life, living actively average you’d say. 22, the number which can mean “coming and going” since it’s a palindrome, has no direction despite being capable of understanding everything. As of now, I may only be in my early twenties, but I’ve felt like I’ve been both these characters at the same time, like a eternally spinning coin. I can feel directionless, having no clue to who I really want to be, but I know there is passion in me somewhere that I myself haven’t figured out yet but push forward with every major choice I make. I have both felt like I’ve done nothing and can’t do anything in life despite making it this far. But if there’s anything this film showed me, it’s that it’s alright.
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If there’s anything that I can say describes Pete Doctor’s direction with this and Inside Out, it’s that he makes the most basic and simple human truths feel necessary, welcoming, and especially otherworldly. With Inside Out saying “it’s good to be more emotive”, Soul tells me “it’s good to enjoy the simple things in life.” Not to say you should live average and accept it, nor is every big moment you have will/should impact you the same way or the way you wanted, but appreciate those moments where things just go your way for a change. Where you can just look at the world, take a deep breath, and just feel comfortable with yourself to live another day. This isn’t a particularly surprising message, but it works because it fulfills everything it built up. Who else but Joe on that day, finally getting what he wanted after so long, can feel empty from it as opposed to the moments where he got to enjoy those enjoyably average moments he didn’t think he’d get along the way? And who else but him could show 22 that living doesn’t mean having a purpose or having that purpose in your mind 24/7. 
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You can just... live as everything does.
This film isn’t as honest as Inside Out, especially with the whole concept of the Great Before, but it still offers that pragmatic advice in a way that definitely sticks. It can feel like this film came out at a bad time with the given circumstances of our reality, but it’s as much a simple pat on the back to tell you it’s okay. I figure the execution won’t be for everyone, the film isn’t perfect plotwise, but to me it’s definitely a golden, just as mature light for modern Pixar. A considerable classic that I hope is given well with time as much as a chance with all audiences. 
4 Out of 5. A Soulful Sensation of a Film
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Note
Heya! Thank you for answering my request! Now, can I get yandere big bro. Not an incest obviously l. teru, kou and tsukasa and hanako with little sis/bro gn s/o?
Now the thing is s/o usually got a mistreat at school due to people jealous of them (kou,teru) on tsukasa & hanako case (a yokai seems to wanting tsukasa & hanako beloved dead)
However s/o seems to not mind it at all. Btw, s/o is student at the school. And seems to be reincarnated after they die, and seems to believed hanako & tsukasa after they said they were s/o ghost brother and s/o reincarnated.
Now what would be the scenario when they find s/o is sitting on the floor. Wet around their hair and their clothes seems to be been damaged. When they Ask what happen s/o said.
"oh, big brother, I'm sorry...i'm really is...today is your birthday...but..." S/o keep cry and then said this while sobbing so hard "today, there's a girl who want me to introduce her to you. But I want to give you the gift and reject her, the girl obviously didn't take it well and...she make her group do this" "i-i...keep...trying to saving money to buy you this caused i want it to be secret...but-i..guess..there's nothing to give to you" while showing a blue (blue sky) (blue light) kou.
Tsukasa & Hanako Case
"big brother...since this is your both birthday I thought it would be better to get you both a gift. But there's a girl who hate me. I didn't even knew why?" And then s/o just said while sobbing "I..know big brother hanako love donut, and and I'm sure big brother tsukasa loves it too...so I baked a homemade donut, but that girl destroy it...she...she said my cook is the worst and people who eat it will puked and not even a ghost want it" "also she steal the necklace that I buy for you two since she say I did not deserved that"
Green (hanako) red (tsukasa)
Headcannon and oneshot again please!
The Minamoto brothers and the Yugi twins with a bullied younger sibling❣︎
Warings: Hinting to murder?, bullying, abuse, slight cursing
A/n: Hey! Of course of course, I try to answer requests to the best of my ability!
I did this with the siblings combined so hope you don’t mind shshjsh
Heehee hope you enjoy, my love~
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Teru was your older brother and he made that known to the school
You loved the fact that you were known as Teru’s younger sibling
You loved your brother
But you knew you would be used for it
People would fake being your friend just to get close to Teru
Then once they got rejected, they always blamed you
You didn’t mind, you still wanted to be Teru’s younger sibling
Teru slowly picked up on this
He knew something was up so he told Kou
Those two tried to keep a close eye on you
But while they were there, it look like you had lots of friends
But when they left the bullying begun again
But sooner or later, the other girls true colors will start to show
Teru and Kou are protective brothers
The girls in your class should have known to not get on your brothers bad side
“Teru-nii! Looks like you got a lot of presents!” Kou called out, running to his older brother who was standing at the entrance of the school. Teru chuckled and looked back at his backpack which was full with presents from fangirls.
“Well, I guess I do...” Teru patted his younger brother on the head, making him smile brightly. “Where’s Y/n? Aren’t they supposed to be with you after cleaning the bathroom?”
“They are…” Kou's expression turned into a slightly worried one “but they said they had to go early. They told me something about wanting to get something prepared to give to you for your birthday…”
Teru sighed, he was worried. He already had suspicions that you were getting mistreated in your class but he didn’t know for sure so he never confronted you about it. He has confronted Kou about this and he had the same suspictions as well.
“Well let's go get them!” Teru clapped his hands and made his way towards the building.
“Do you think it's…” Kou didn’t want to finish the sentence.
“Let's hope not.” Teru’s carefree expression lowered at the thought. “Do you know where they went?”
Kou thought for a moment.
“No, but I know they aren’t in the old school building…”
Teru and Kou walked around the school for a while, looking for you in no avail. Kou pointed out little droplets of water that slowly got bigger reaching to the school's lockers. The boys froze when they heard sounds of sobbing. They turned the corner to see you facing your lockers drenched in water. You leaned onto your locker, closing it.
“Y/n..!” Kou called out, making you turn to him. “What happened?!”
“Who the hell did this to you…?” Teru asked, examining your ripped close and abused appearance. You looked at him and only cried more.
“I’m sorry big brother Teru…”
“Y/n, you don't need to be sorry, this isn’t your fault..!” Teru hugged you “What happened..?”
“I-its your birthday today… but there was this girl who wanted me to introduce you to her... but I said no, she didn’t take it too well and did this…” You sobbed into his shoulder. Teru’s grip on you tightened thinking about how this only happened while he was outside with Kou.
“I-I saved my money… to buy you a nice sky blue necklace… and I even got big brother Kou light blue one as well… b-but she destroyed it and I don’t have anything to g-give you…”
“Y/n that’s so sweet! We are extremely thankful!” Kou tried to lighten the mood a bit, giving you a gracious smile. You could see tears pricking the corner of his eyes. Teru was still angry that his suspicions were true, he was praying they weren’t.
“Who did this?” Teru sternly asked.
“I-it’s fine Teru…” You kneeled to the ground picking up pieces from the necklace she destroyed “She already left… there is nothing I can do now…”
“Y/n… please…” Kou kneeled down next to you and put his hand on yours.
“Guys, what would make me feel better is if we got home… can we please go home?” Your voice was begging. You just wanted to be in a warm blanket watching T.V. with your siblings.
That's all you wanted right now.
“Okay… I’m sorry Y/n, let's go home okay!” Teru gave you his jacket which you happily accepted.
“Even though I couldn’t get the gift, it meant the world to me!”
----
You sighed walking to your classroom. It was early and you were tired. You were happy your brothers didn’t ask you about it for the rest of the night, you didn’t want them to worry. You thought you would get a load from the girls who did this to you yesterday but you were shocked when she bowed in front of you instead.
“Y/n! I am so sorry! Please forgive me for what I did to you yesterday! It was very rude of me and I am very sorry!” She was shaking.
“Oh, uh, it’s alright..! No need to bow, I forgive you…” You put your hands in front of your chest, genuinely confused. Once she stood straight up you saw a big red mark on her cheek. She had tears in her eyes but ran to her desk before you could get a better look at her. You looked to Tsuchigomori who only nodded with an apologetic look on his face.
‘What happened this morning…?’
----
“Teru? You still look down?” Kou faced his brother as they both walked to class.
“Sorry Kou… just a little upset by the person who did this to Y/n…” Teru apologetically smiled.
“Well you slapped her, that taught her a lesson!” Kou encouraged.
“Trust me Kou,” Teru’s smile turned into a frown
“If a teacher wasn’t there, I would have kicked her ass.”
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Amane found it unforunate you were caught in the crossfire of him and his brothers conflic causing you too kill yourself as well
Tsukasa thought it was great that his younger sibling was now dead too
Gosh Tsukasa-
But what they didn’t expect was for you to get resurrected
You were able to see supernaturals yourself and you couldn’t age from the day you died but you weren’t a ghost like your brothers
Tsuchigamori helped you establish a somewhat normal school life
It was all good for the most part, you were back in school, Hanako was the leader of the 7 mysteries, and Tsukasa was just crazy happy
The fact you are getting mistreated is mostly Tsukasa’s fault
Like he can make a lot of enemies so when the fish yokai (that he killed) saw how close you and Tsukasa were, of course they wanted to kill you
It was also a perk that you were Hanako’s sibling since they wanted to get back at him as well for stealing their princess Yashiro away from them
You were weak and had a human body, you were perfect
Amane had no idea about this, Tsukasa didn’t know you were being abused but he did know he pissed off those fish AND HE PISSED EM OFF GOOD-
You figured you would be a target for yokai since your older brothers are powerful
Of course, you didn’t mind this
You knew this would happen so it’s alright!
But the thing was, it wasn’t so alright with your older brothers
Hanako watched the cherry blossoms fall from the tree that he sat under. It was November 25, his birthday, and you said you wanted to have a talk with the two boys. Normally you would talk to them separately because you knew how Amane felt towards his twin brother, but today you wanted to talk to them together. Hanako cancelled his normal cleaning duty and waited where you said to meet up.
“Amane!!” He heard a scream from behind him but before he could turn around he felt someone hug him, wrapping their legs around his waist.
“Oh, Tsukasa…” Hanako said softly, personally finding this kind of awkward.
“Where’s Y/n?? It’s been so long since I’ve seen them!” Tsukasa removed his head from Amane’s neck looking around for you.
“Oh, they aren’t here yet, and I remember them saying they saw you two days ago…”
“So long ago!” Tsukasa whined and Amane sighed at his childish behavior. It went silent but thankfully Tsukasa quickly broke it.
“Didn’t Y/n say to meet them here 15 minutes ago??”
“Yeah they did…” Amane started to get worried.
“They're late!” Tsukasa pouted.
“You’re late as well Tsukasa… And we should go look for them.”
“I’ll lead the way! I know where their last class is!” He stood up and started marching, Hanako closely behind him.
They walked around the school for a while, watching students run across the halls to their clubs, laughing and gossiping with one another. Tsukasa continued to march, not losing the bounce in his step. They came closer to the sound of someone crying, sobs getting louder as they approached a classroom. The twins looked at each other before Tsukasa opened the door.
You jumped slightly, removing your head from between your legs to look at who came in. You only began to cry more realizing it was your two brothers.
“Y/n…?” Tsukasa slightly whispered to himself, staying at the door's entrance.
“Y/n! What happened?!” Amane ran to you, fearing you were hurt in any way. He put his arm on your wet shoulder, looking around to see if there were any visible bloody wounds. He looked at your uniform which was damaged and had a few cuts in it. Your hair was also wet like if someone poured water on you. Tsukasa slowly made his way over to you, examining you up and down. You couldn’t make out the expression on his face but you knew anger was there.
“I-I’m sorry…” You said a little above a whisper.
“You’re sorry for what..?” Amane asked, moving the wet hair out of your face to get a better look at your soaked, tear-stained face.
“Big brothers...since this is both your birthdays... I thought it would be better to get you both a gift. But there are these fish yokai who don’t like me..!” You picked up a couple red and green gems from the floor. Hanako’s eyes widened.
“I... know big brother Amane liked donuts and I assume big brother Tsukasa likes them as well… but they took the donuts I made you saying my cooking was t-the worst and you wouldn’t want it..!” You continued “And they took the necklace I bought for you guys saying I don’t deserve it…”
“Were they talking fish..?” Tsukasa's voice was cold, eyes wide with rage. You only nodded your head.
“Amane, will you stay with y/n? I have something I need to do.” Tsukasa turned to Amane. Hanako already knew what he was going to do.
He was going to go after the mermaid and her fish. There was nothing he could say to stop him.
“O-okay… do what you have to do…” Amane nodded and Tsukasa left the room.
“W-wait… where is he going..?” You started to get up but Amane sat you back down.
“Hey, don’t worry Y/n… older brother Tsukasa is going to take care of this okay?” Amane hugged you.
“But I don’t mind the fish… it’s fine-”
“No. It’s not.” Amane’s aura grew darker before his loving brotherly smile appeared again.
“And hopefully by tomorrow, you won’t have to deal with those disgusting fish!”
----
“Y/n! Amane!” Tsukasa called out as he walked down the halls. When he approached the door he opened it revealing you and Amane laughing. You were somewhat dry and you stopped crying.
“Tsukasa!” You got up and gave him a hug.
“What happened to those fish…?” Worryness in your voice.
“Don’t worry about it Y/n! You don’t need to worry about them anymore!” He childishly smiled, bringing ease to you.
“Amane approached you two, smiling. He looked to see Tsukasa’s hand that was behind his back covered in blood. Hanako's smile dropped and he went silent. He quickly regained his composure and turned to you.
“Yeah, Y/n you don’t need to worry about those fish. Your big brothers will kill any other supernatural that dares hurt you!”
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here4theheartbreak · 3 years
Text
Afternoon Naps (myg + pjm)
AO3 Link Here!
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Relationships: Jimin x Yoongi Genre: smut Rating: Explicit Word Count: ~5.5k
Tags: Smut, Consensual Somnophilia, Vampires, Dirty Talk, Multiple Orgasms, Coming Untouched, Established Relationship, Vampire Sex, Vampire Biting/Blood Drinking, Sleeping Medication, Consensual Necrophilia (Technically), Temporary Character Death, Vampire Min Yoongi, Human Park Jimin, Bottom Park Jimin
Summary: Jimin finds out his boyfriend's biggest secret, and reveals his own biggest kink. They realize that this can benefit both of them.
A/N: Fifth Kinktober fic, day 7: somnophlia; this fic is also filling a request from ages ago. @sujigguk requested a fic with “you’re not human”
A/N 2: The fic contains technically necrophilia -- vampire lore in this fic has the vampire "dying" (i.e. heart/breathing stops, body goes cold, rigor mortis sets in) while resting in their coffins. All sexual acts are discussed and consented to by both parties prior to this.
“Jimin!” Yoongi’s voice was sharp… And not all that happy when he opened the door of his apartment. Jimin smiled sheepishly. 
“Surprise?” He said softly. 
“What are you doing here?”
Yoongi looked tense as he stood in the doorway. From what Jimin could see over his shoulder, his blinds were drawn, and his apartment was still mostly dark. Strange, given it was nearly ten in the morning.
“Did I wake you?”
Yoongi hesitated. “No.”
Jimin’s smile faded a little. “I wanted to come by… It’s been a week.”
“We’ve been texting.” 
Jimin’s smile disappeared completely. “I disturbed you. I’m sorry.” He backed up, ready to head down the hall.
“Wait, no, Jimin. Don’t go. You just surprised me, I’m not used to visitors coming by unexpectedly.”
Jimin looked at him, trying to gauge if he was being sincere. Jimin and Yoongi had been dating for nearly six months. It was great. Yoongi was always there for him, their dates were fun, and they never ran out of things to talk about. The sex was mind blowing. Sure, they fought a little, but never a big thing. The one oddity in all their time together… Was that Jimin was never invited to sleep over at Yoongi’s. Yoongi had stayed at Jimin’s a few times, and Jimin had come over once or twice, but never for more than a few minutes. 
The last time they were together in person, Jimin had hinted at wanting to stay over at Yoongi’s one night. Yoongi had seemed okay with the idea, but also a bit stiff about it. 
“I should have texted,” Jimin finally said.
“Yes,” Yoongi agreed. “But… You’re here, I can spare a few minutes.” He sighed heavily and stepped aside, letting Jimin in. 
“Dark,” Jimin commented as he entered. “Are you feeling okay? You look a little pale.” He reached out for Yoongi’s head, only to have Yoongi jerk away.
“I’m fine.”
Jimin scowled then, crossing his arms. “What’s wrong with you?”
Yoongi blinked at him. 
“You’re acting weird. I’ve been with you half a year, I know when you’re not yourself. What’s wrong?”
“It…” Yoongi’s shoulders sagged. “It’s very hard to explain.”
“Well try. I don’t appreciate being kept in the dark. Literally or figuratively.” Jimin went to flip on a light. 
Yoongi grabbed his wrist. His hand was frigid, and his grip was tight. Jimin gasped. 
“Don’t.” Yoongi’s voice was sharp.
“Wh… What’s going on? You’re kinda starting to scare me.”
“I don’t mean to.” Yoongi let go of Jimin’s wrist.
“Why are you so cold?” Jimin went forward. Yoongi backed away but Jimin ignored him, grabbing his face. “Jesus, you’re freezing. Are you sick?”
“Not exactly,” Yoongi mumbled.
“Why won’t you look at me?”
“Jimin, please…” Yoongi leaned into his touch, his eyes screwed shut. “Please just go home… I promise, I’ll explain everything tonight.”
“No. You can explain right now, Min Yoongi.” Jimin crossed his arms and stood in front of the door, facing Yoongi. 
“It’s not easy,” Yoongi muttered. Jimin remained silent. He sighed. “Fine. I… I really wanted us to last.”
Jimin narrowed his eyes, not liking how this was sounding. Yoongi stuffed his hands into his pockets. 
“I’m a monster.”
“What makes you a monster?” Jimin pressed.
“Fangs? Death? Drinking blood?” Yoongi shrugged. “Any number of things. I mean a literal monster.”
Jimin laughed, shaking his head. “Oh, come on, don’t be silly. Yoongi, what is it really?” He asked. He flicked on the light. Yoongi winced visibly, raising his hand to shield from the indoor light.
Jimin’s entire body went cold. Yoongi was standing in front of him. His Yoongi – lean muscle and a sweet, round face, gentle eyes and guitar callused fingers… But not his Yoongi at the same time. The person in front of him was paler than Yoongi – his face almost grey it was so pale. His eyes were dark. Not just dark, but the pupils seemed to have expanded, filling the whites of his eyes and giving him a demonic gaze. 
Yoongi let his hand fall, his expression timid despite the horror his features implied. 
“You’re not human,” Jimin whispered.
“I’m a monster,” Yoongi agreed. “A vampire… Specifically.” He looked down. “Are you going to run away screaming now?”
“Make me, you troll,” Jimin grumbled. He let his arms fall and took a cautious step forward. 
“I’m a vampire, not a troll.”
Jimin grinned at that, seeing the curve of a smile on Yoongi’s lips. “I’ll get it right eventually… Am I in danger? Standing here like this?”
“No. I have excellent control over my feeding… Why aren’t you scared?” Yoongi looked up, meeting Jimin’s gaze.
“I am.”
“You aren’t showing it… Aside from a fast heartbeat… I can’t see any fear on your pretty face. And your heart beats fast around me all the time.”
Jimin smiled. “Flirting isn’t gonna get you out of the doghouse… Why didn’t you tell me before?”
“You’re right.” Yoongi snapped his fingers. “I always forget. When is the right date to tell your new boyfriend you died and came back as a bloodsucking creature of the night? That once a week you have to spend a day in a coffin literally dead or you get wildly sick? Isn’t it the third? Or no, the seventh?”
Jimin slapped Yoongi’s shoulder with some force, smirking when he cried out, rubbing it. “Weak for a vampire.”
“I’m immortal, not immune to my boyfriend’s abuse,” Yoongi grumbled.
“Do you drink blood?”
“Of course I do.”
“Human?”
“When I can.”
“From live people?”
“Is that jealousy I hear in your tone, Mr. Park?”
Jimin glared. “You lied to me for six months, I’m allowed to interrogate you.”
Yoongi smiled softly. “I’m frankly just… In amazement that you’re still standing here. And no… Not live humans, not for a very long time. You may proceed with the interrogation – but I insist on us moving out of my hallway and to an actual sitting location.” He pointed to the couch.
“Do you have anything to drink? If I open your fridge… Will I find bags of blood?”
Yoongi made a noise of offense and crossed his arms. “Of course not, I’m not some barbarian. You’ll find a recyclable bottle of that’s filled with blood. But my sodas are in the door.”
Jimin went over to the fridge and opened it. Sure enough, there were three large water bottles filled with a very suspicious reddish liquid. He grabbed a soda from the door and went over to the couch, sitting next to Yoongi.
“How old are you? I’m guessing that twenty-seven was a lie.”
“I was twenty-seven when I died. Thirty-one years ago.”
“Oooh, I bagged myself a silver fox, huh?”
Yoongi huffed once more. “I died at twenty-seven.”
“Mhm… And now you’re fifty-eight.” 
“Jimin, I’m gonna…” 
Jimin giggled. “I guess I shouldn’t tease you… You might bite me… Would you?”
“Bite you? Not unless you asked.”
“Would it turn me into a vampire?”
“No. There’s a very specific ritual for that.”
Jimin nodded. “Cool. So, what does a vampire do? Aside from drinking blood… What’s special about you? I’ve seen you in the day. You complain a whole lot, but you don’t sparkle or ignite like a firework. We’ve taken plenty of pictures together… And you eat way too much garlic. You also sleep at night, and probably too long… And you aren’t any stronger than I am.”
“You’re making me feel real great here, Jimin,” Yoongi joked, smiling as he spoke.
Jimin laughed. “Sorry—I just mean… You seem human. I’ve never… Really assumed anything was off about you.”
“The great thing about humans, is that you all really like to assume everyone is like you. You avoid the things that support the opposite. Inhuman behavior, to some degree, so long as it’s not shocking or jarring, you can brush off as an odd quirk, a funny trait. I’m close to human, yes, but I am not human. I complain in the sun because my skin is sensitive. Bursting into flames is a myth, but I do burn far easier than most humans. My skin’s melanin has decayed over the years without cellular growth.”
“Which is why you’re so pale too.”
Yoongi grunted an affirmative. “Garlic is a myth, as is the no reflection thing. I’m sure hundreds of years ago, maybe? There might have been some truth to it, but modern technology and modern mirrors work different, so I can see myself the same as you. I am stronger than you, but I do well at hiding it most of the time. Any displays of it, you either don’t see, or brush aside. I do also sleep at night, yes – because I’ve put myself on a human schedule. I do this so I can live among you all without problems. Once a week though, I must sleep during the day. Sleeping at night is akin to a human living on a series of short naps at mid-afternoon. It’s not fully restful and it’s dangerous to do long term. I compensate by sleeping through the day one day per week, in the appropriate resting place.”
“R… Resting place?”
“My coffin.”
Jimin’s eyes bulged. “Coffin?”
“Yes, I am dead. I have a coffin.”
“That you sleep in?”
“Once a week. Otherwise, I sleep in the bed.” 
Jimin nodded, his brows furrowed. 
“Gonna run yet?” Yoongi asked.
“No… Is there anything else different?”
“Well… We’re excellent in bed,” Yoongi joked. Jimin glanced up. “I mean it. We have a… Special thing about us. You’ve had sex with other men before me, right?”
“Yeah, a few.”
“Haven’t you ever noticed that when we have sex… I’m much—”
“Harder.”
Yoongi nodded. 
Jimin pouted. “I assumed it was because I just really turned you on. It’s because you’re a vampire?”
“Well, no, you really do turn me on... A lot. But a few days after I do my daytime sleep, I get naturally more rigid. I’m not sure why – I think it has something do with… Ah, well it’s gross. But it just happens.”
Jimin sat back, sighing softly. “You’re immortal.”
“Yes.”
“Honestly… I think that’s the thing that bothers me most about this. Not that you’re undead or drink blood or… But that you’re gonna never grow old. And I’m…”
“I’m sorry,” Yoongi whispered.
“If we work out…” Jimin began. “And stay together… You’ll turn me, right? You’d have to – for us to… Be together.”
“Not necessarily. While I wouldn’t hate the idea of someone’s company in my life… I know that a limited existence is so valued and important. It’s something that I would be willing to discuss… If we work out, and when you are older.”
Jimin nodded. “Okay.”
“Okay?” Yoongi pressed. “That’s it?”
Jimin shrugged. “We all have secrets, Yoongi.”
“I doubt you have a secret as big as this, Jimin.”
“No… But I have one that… People have left for.”
Yoongi seemed to perk up a little at that, his brows furrowed. Despite the difference in his eyes, the sleek black, Jimin found his expression endearing and sweet. 
“I like your eyes like this… Can you change them at will?” He asked.
“No. They’re like this because I’ve not fed for a while. I have to keep myself fed and rested or they shift; they’ll be back to normal after I wake up and drink… What secret could you have that’s so big, Jimin?” 
“Well… I…” Jimin winced. “God, it’s weird as hell, I’m so sorry.”
“I won’t run,” Yoongi promised. “You’re sitting here next to me after finding out I’m a living dead monster. The least I can do is listen to your secret and try to understand.”
Jimin smiled softly at that. He nodded. “I like… Sleep sex.”
“What do you mean?”
“Like I like the idea of… Having sex with someone while they sleep or are unconscious. With their consent! I mean… I’d never… Do something nonconsensual.”
Yoongi remained silent a moment, thinking. “Do you want someone to have sex with you while you sleep? Or do you want to have sex with someone while they sleep?”
“Both, I guess. I like the idea of both. I’ve never done it. Most people stop talking to me after I tell them.”
“Why would they?” Yoongi pressed. “We all have kinks and fantasies.”
“Yeah, but a lot of them see it as a form of rape. And I get it, it’s a super grey area. You can’t change your mind while you’re asleep, so like… If you say it’s okay, and then as you drift off to sleep decide you don’t want it… Then it becomes nonconsent.”
Yoongi nodded in understanding. “Well I think that can be resolved just by open communication,” he said, touching his hand to his chin in thought. “If you trust your partner and they trust you, you two should be able to communicate what is and isn’t okay. I don’t think a kink like this is unsafe or unhealthy, as long as – like you said – it’s done with full consent.”
Jimin smiled cautiously, his heart skipping a beat. “You mean… You don’t find it gross?”
“Not at all.” Yoongi smiled. “I’m glad you shared it with me. I still don’t think it’s worse than me being a blood sucking monster… But I know it’s a secret you hold close, so I appreciate your trust. But… Would you want to try this with me someday?”
“Would I ever?” Jimin asked. He chuckled a little. “I fantasize about it a lot.” 
Yoongi smirked. He moved little closer, pulling Jimin to him. “Would you want to try it today?” He asked softly.
Jimin’s eyes widened. Yoongi continued. “Look… When I sleep… In my coffin. I’ll be honest with you. I don’t breathe. I don’t move. I am… For all intents and purposes… Dead. I don’t decay, obviously. But my body goes very cold, my lungs and heart go still… And my body stiffens, as a corpse would. That includes… My dick.”
Jimin remained quiet, processing what Yoongi was suggesting. Yoongi slid his hands over Jimin’s shoulders slowly as he spoke. “So, if someone… Say my very curious, very human boyfriend… Happened to get horny while I was sleeping in my coffin… He could climb in and use my body… Ride me… And I’d remain fully unconscious no matter what.”
“Because you’re dead…” Jimin clarified. 
Yoongi nodded. “Temporarily. I wouldn’t wake for anything, unless you shined sunlight on my body. So… If you want to do this…”
“Would you fuck me when you wake?” Jimin said quickly. “If I was sleeping, would you… Return the favor?”
“I wake in the late afternoon usually. You’d likely still be up.”
“Not if I took a sleeping pill,” Jimin suggested. “I have some, I used to get nightmares and they help. I don’t use them often, but I bring them just in case. I could take one after… And you could… Help get rid of your afternoon wood with my body.”
Yoongi shifted visibly on the couch. His tongue darted out, swiping over his lips. Jimin smirked. He leaned forward, sliding his hands up Yoongi’s thighs. “Does that idea sound good? You like it.”
Yoongi nodded. “I do,” he breathed. 
“We can do it today?”
“Yes but… Jimin… You understand what I mean. When I lay in my coffin… You will be looking at the equivalent of a corpse.”
“I understand. But you’re still you. You say you’ll only be still and cold… You won’t be decaying or rotting or anything you associate with a dead body. And you’ll be waking up and… We’ll be together.”
“Of course.”
“Would it turn you on? Knowing I used you while you… Rested?”
Yoongi smiled softly, lowering his gaze. “Frankly? That’s… An incredibly sexy thought. The thought of you climbing into my coffin with me alone is enough to… Well… I’ve thought of it more than once. I never even imagined you’d be willing to… Let alone wanting to… Do more.”
“Should I stay in the coffin with you? After I finish?”
“I’m afraid not.” Yoongi shook his head. “Waking from my rest is a very jarring thing. I fear I might accidentally hurt you. I have a bed in my room next to the coffin, you can sleep there.”
Jimin nodded. “I do want this as long as you do. And I do want you to… Do the same.”
Yoongi leaned forward, kissing Jimin gently. 
“Hey… You’re a vampire… Don’t you have fangs?”
“They retract. When I’m resting they will come out, so don’t kiss me – you could get poked. But when I’m awake I can pull them in and out as needed.”
“Can I see them?” Jimin whispered. 
Yoongi seemed to be thinking about it. He grinned then. His wide, gummy grin suddenly became something much more frightening… And sexier, when Jimin realized his canines had lengthened and transformed into sharp, deadly points. Jimin’s breath left in a rush. 
“Oh wow…”
Yoongi’s smile dropped again to a relaxed expression. “Satisfied?” He asked, his tone slightly breathier with the fangs in the way. 
Jimin nodded. “I think you need to go to bed soon,” he murmured.
Yoongi smirked, one fang peeking out of his lip. “Horny bastard.”
“Not my fault.” Jimin squeezed Yoongi’s thighs. “Should I wait out here?”
“Please. Though it’s not disturbing I do like going to sleep alone. You’re free to come in in about fifteen minutes… I’ll be resting by then. The lube is in the top drawer of the dresser in the bedroom. 
“See you in the evening,” Jimin said. Yoongi rose and leaned forward, pecking Jimin’s mouth gently. 
Fifteen minutes had never been so damn slow. Jimin finished his drink and paced around the apartment, trying to distract from the ticking clock. He took the time to explore Yoongi’s place; he’d never had a chance to before. He had quite a number of interesting trinkets that Jimin wanted to ask about when he woke up. He pulled off his coat and tugged on one of Yoongi’s hoodies, hugging himself in it as Yoongi’s scent drifted into his nostrils from the warm fabric. 
Finally. Fifteen minutes had passed. Jimin entered the bedroom carefully, letting his eyes adjust to the room, even darker than the living room. He found a lamp near a comfy looking bed and flicked it on, looking around. The light was soft, diffused by the heavy shade. In the center of the room was a large, dark coffin. Jimin approached it carefully, his heart in his throat. Inside was Yoongi, looking much paler than usual. He was entirely still, arms resting across his bare belly. He was in his boxers, his cock comically rigid, tenting the front up obscenely. He was stunning. 
Jimin hurried over to the dresser and opened the drawer, finding the lube easily. He shucked his jeans and boxers, crawling onto the bed. He set his sleeping medication on the bedside stand and relaxed into the pillow. It smelled richly of Yoongi’s scent, his cock thickening against his thigh. He moaned softly, stroking himself. He looked over at the coffin, his stomach clenching. This was really happening. He poured some of the lube on his fingers and spread it over his hole, sighing contentedly as he pushed a finger in to prep himself. 
When he was ready, Jimin rose, sliding the lube and his phone into his pocket. He went over to the coffin, taking a moment to gaze down at his beautiful lover. A vampire… He knew he’d likely have a moment of realization down the line – the understanding that this simple confession had flipped his life upside down. But he’d never been one to shy away from the macabre or bizarre, and he always wondered if supernatural creatures existed. Yoongi’s confirmation of that was… Unexpected, but not unwanted. 
Jimin carefully straddled Yoongi’s lap. He knew he couldn’t wake him, but the fear was half the fun. Yoongi was still hard, his position entirely unchanged from the first moment Jimin saw him. Jimin pulled his boxers down just under his balls, smirking when he saw the tip was a deep purple red. He wrapped his hand around it and stroked gently, surprised to find it cool to the touch. Yoongi really was a living dead person. 
A surprising twinge of arousal spiked through Jimin, making him shudder. He wondered if Yoongi could still come in this state. Only one way to find out.
He shifted over, taking the lube from his hoodie with shaking hands and adding some to Yoongi’s cock, and more to his own stretched hole. He moved over and began to settle into Yoongi’s cock, muffling his quiet gasps in his other hand. Yoongi’s cock was so hard it was almost painful. There was none of the give he was used to, forcing his ass open wide to take the tip, and sliding deep into him. He whimpered, shuddering hard when he took his entire length. 
“Yoongi,” he whined softly. Curious, he reached out, touching Yoongi’s pale, cool face. He held his hand by his nose for a moment. Nothing. No movement of air, no shift, nothing. He moaned again, reality slowly sinking in. There was nothing normal or right about this. But God, it felt good. He dropped his hand down, pulling Yoongi’s top lip back. As promised, there they were, sharp fangs, glinting dangerously. Jimin touched one, ever so tempted to prick his finger on it, let Yoongi taste him… But no. Jimin pulled his hand back. That could be discussed at a later time. He settled back on Yoongi’s stiff cock and whimpered. There was no give. He was gonna lose it fast at this rate.
Jimin began to ride him, moaning openly as Yoongi’s cock slid over his prostate. He reached into his hoodie and removed his phone, holding it up. He found his camera app and angled it to show his face first, his cheeks mottled red with arousal. He moaned openly as he pressed record, not bothering to shy away from looking and sounding obscene. 
“Your cock is so hard, Yoongi. You’re gonna break my ass in half, oh!” He shuddered, biting his lip and twisting his hips down. “Fuck, I’ve never had something this hard up my asshole, Yoongi… I’m gonna gape for hours after I’m done with you.”
He whined, his throat clicking as he struggled to swallow. He turned the camera, filming Yoongi’s body before turning it and balancing it behind him, so he could film himself riding Yoongi. He glanced back, smirking when he realized the camera was catching each long stroke, Yoongi’s cock sinking back into his ass. He spread himself and leaned forward, giving more light for the camera. He fucked himself hard and fast onto Yoongi’s cock, moaning and begging for more, not hiding the pleasure he was getting. He reached back and grabbed the phone, holding it up again.
“I’m gonna come, Yoongi,” he whined. “I’m gonna come from using your thick, hard cock, right here in your coffin. Wanna see?”
He turned the camera and lifted the front of the hoodie. His cock was bouncing with each thrust of his body, slapping gently off Yoongi’s still stomach. 
“I’m so glad you slept shirtless,” Jimin panted. “Make me come, Yoongi… Oh God, please… Fuck my ass harder…” He moved faster, whining high in his throat. It shifted to a shout when his cock began to spurt, shooting ropes of come over Yoongi’s hands and belly. He stroked himself, still riding Yoongi’s cock as he milked the last come from himself. He shuddered and giggled, moving the camera behind him as he pulled off Yoongi. He held his ass open, feeling the cool air tickle him far more intimately than it should.
“Look at that gape,” he mumbled. “Too bad it’s not dripping with your come.” He pulled the camera back as he crawled out of the coffin.
“I think I’m gonna leave you like this… Covered in my come, boxers down… Just so you wake up and know what I did to you.” 
He walked back over to the bed in the corner. “Now, Yoongi… I’m gonna leave the lube right there.” He angled the camera to show himself setting it on the nightstand and picking up the sleeping pill. “And I’m gonna take my sleeping medicine.” He angled the camera back to his face to show him swallowing it. 
“Now I’m going to sleep just like this… No shorts… And I would love it, if you want to… To repay the favor and use my ass while I sleep.” He smirked. “I wonder… Is your come as cold your body was when you first come back? You should let me know… I wonder how that feels inside me…” He shook his head. “Sleep well… See you soon.” He ended the video and sent it to Yoongi, forcing himself to stay awake long enough to hear the buzz of Yoongi’s phone in his coffin. He let himself drift off to sleep, dreams full of sexy, arousing thoughts. 
Jimin’s ass was on fire. He moaned softly, opening his eyes blearily. The first thing he saw was the coffin. He turned his head, spotting the clock… Nearly seven hours since he’d gone to sleep. 
“Morning Sunshine,” Yoongi murmured. Jimin turned, spotting him at his desk. A cup of deep red liquid sat next to him as he worked on something. “How’s your ass?”
“Sore,” Jimin mumbled, reaching back. He was met with a gush of body temperature fluids, pouring from his gaped hole. He whined. “Fuck…” His cock throbbed against the mattress. “What did you do?”
“Me? I simply did as you asked in your video… Very sexy, by the way. Would you like to watch?”
Jimin rolled over, groaning weakly. His cock was hard despite the pain in his ass. It was perfect. “Show me,” he whispered.
Yoongi rose and grabbed his phone. He went over to the bed and sat on it with Jimin, passing him the device. 
Yoongi did far less teasing and talking in his video. He set up the phone at an angle on the nightstand, allowing it to capture most of Jimin’s sleeping body. Yoongi slicked his cock, looking into the camera as he sank into Jimin with a moan. He began to thrust into him quickly, holding Jimin’s ass open as he did. He maintained looking at the camera most of the time, his eyes the same black they were when he went to sleep.
As Jimin watched himself get used on the phone, Yoongi pulled him onto his lap. He’d withdrawn his cock, Jimin could feel. He hissed and whined softly when Yoongi dragged him over and slid back into his come lubed hole.
“It’s sore,” he whined.
“You can get off then, I don’t mind,” Yoongi said, letting his hips go. Jimin smirked. He shifted to get a better angle to watch the video and began to bounce lazily on Yoongi’s cock.
On the video, Yoongi had picked up speed, grunting as he fucked Jimin’s sleeping body. He tossed his head back, shouting and baring his teeth.
Jimin moaned, catching sight of Yoongi’s fangs. He touched his own neck, a little disappointed at the lack of bite marks. Yoongi on video shuddered, his hips going still. He leaned forward, kissing Jimin’s shoulder.
“There’s my first load, Jimin. It was as cold as ice… I’ve never felt your hole squeeze me so tight. Next time I’ll do it when you’re awake… I bet you’ll squeal so pretty when it fills you…” 
Jimin moaned, leaning back against Yoongi. “I wanna feel,” he confessed.
“I’ll make sure you’re awake next time,” Yoongi promised. “Wanna see the rest?”
Jimin nodded, riding Yoongi a little faster.
On video, Yoongi picked up the pace, fucking Jimin’s ass harder than before. He used him for nearly forty minutes, filling his hole three times. Finally, he sagged his shoulders, kissing over Jimin’s back. 
“You’re so fucking sloppy, baby,” he grumbled. He grabbed the phone and angled it down. Jimin’s ass was red, his hole swollen around Yoongi’s cock. He pulled out slowly and come bubbled out, obscene sounds filling the air. Yoongi chuckled. “I’ll leave you like this. When you wake up I’ll give you one more, if you want it.”
The video went black. Jimin leaned forward, his ass aching at the new angle. “I want it,” he whispered.
Yoongi shifted, pulling out only long enough to get onto his knees. He sank back into Jimin’s  already filled ass, and they both moaned at the sloppy noises. Jimin leaned up, wrapping his arms back around Yoongi.
“Bite me when you come,” he whispered.
“You sure?” Yoongi was fucking him hard, his cock twitching.
“Yes,” Jimin promised. He reached down, stroking his cock in time with Yoongi’s thrusts. 
Yoongi was huffing erratically, holding tight to his middle. His fangs grazed Jimin’s shoulder. 
“Are you mine?” Yoongi panted in his ear.
“Yes—“
“Give yourself to me.” Yoongi grabbed his wrist, pulling his hand off his cock. “All the way. Are you mine, Jimin?”
“Yes, yes!” Jimin moaned. 
“I’m yours as well, Park Jimin,” Yoongi whispered. He slammed his cock deep. It began to throb, spilling inside Jimin. At the same time, Jimin felt a sharp pain and then a pressure on his shoulder. Pure pleasure washed over him. His cock began to spurt ropes of come, jerking hard enough to make them land on the floor in front of him. He shouted Yoongi’s name, reaching back and holding his neck as Yoongi drank from him. 
The two collapsed on the bed as their orgasms faded. Yoongi kissed and licked at the wound on Jimin’s shoulder until the blood clotted, sliding his softening cock carefully from Jimin’s aching ass.
“You okay?” Yoongi asked, nudging Jimin’s shoulder with his nose as they cuddled back to chest on the bed.
“I’m great,” Jimin whispered.
“No regrets? Still okay with it?”
“Fully… You?”
“It was so exciting,” Yoongi admitted. “When I woke and felt your come on me… And then saw you sleeping… And that video was stunning. You were so beautiful.”
Jimin smiled shyly. “We’ll have to go easy the next few nights… I’m really sore.”
“Of course. I’ll be gentle for a while, let you heal up.” Yoongi kissed over his shoulder. “Did the bite hurt?”
“No. It felt good… How often can you drink from me?”
“I’d prefer not to often. Living human blood, not bagged, it’s… Very rich and sweet, almost like candy. It can become addictive. I’m honored you let me, but I’ll save it as a treat for myself, if you don’t mind?”
“Of course.” Jimin turned as well as he could. His gaze searched Yoongi’s face, finally dropping down to his mouth, lips pink and cheeks mottled. “It was so interesting. Seeing you in your coffin.”
“I know it can be frightening.”
“No…” Jimin shook his head. “I think it sank in… That I was looking at someone who wasn’t alive. But knowing you’d be awake soon after, it was… This bizarre sort of… Taboo but sexy thing? I’m a freak, aren’t I?” Jimin’s shoulders sagged. 
“No more than I.” Yoongi nudged him again. “We can be freaks together.”
Jimin grinned. “Yoongi?” He said softly.
“Hm?”
“I feel gross.”
“Because of what we did?”
“No, silly.” Jimin laughed. “Because your come is gluing my ass and legs together. I need a shower.”
Yoongi laughed brightly, nodding. “Agreed. Let’s get one... It’s almost dinner, you’re probably starved.”
“You aren’t,” Jimin teased, rising slowly. “No, but I could eat. I’ll take you out after the shower.”
They walked together to the bathroom. “How does eating human food work with being a vampire?”
“Same as it works being alive,” Yoongi said, turning on the water. “It’s just empty calories for me – Which is why I never eat much.”
“There’s so much I feel like I have to learn about what you are… How life is for you.” Jimin crossed his arms as he waited for the water to warm. Yoongi straightened up and wrapped his arms around him. Now that Jimin was aware, he could feel that Yoongi was a few degrees cooler, his skin just a bit paler than human. 
“You can ask anything you need. We have time, and I’ll tell you all you want to know.”
“Yoongi…” Jimin leaned against him, hugging him tightly. He could hear Yoongi’s heart, glugging along at a lethargic pace. He smiled softly. “Can I confess something to you?”
“Hm?” Yoongi asked, resting his chin on Jimin’s shoulder. “I think I’ve fallen in love with you,” Jimin whispered. 
Yoongi went still, his heart skipping a little faster. “Jimin… Say that again,” he said.
“I… I’ve fallen in love with you.”
Jimin could feel Yoongi’s lips curve up into a smile against his shoulder. “In nearly sixty years of existence… I have never heard more beautiful words,” Yoongi admitted. “I love you too, Jimin… I feel like I’ll love you forever.”
Jimin pulled back, meeting Yoongi’s gaze. His eyes were back to their normal soft brown. He smiled. “Coming from someone who is immortal… That’s the most beautiful thing I could hear.”
Yoongi leaned forward, kissing Jimin deeply. He pulled him close, and Jimin melted into the touch. Yoongi may have cold skin, may drink blood and die once a week – but Jimin had never felt safer or warmer than he did at that very moment in Yoongi’s arms. 
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superhero--imagines · 3 years
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Part 1 here! / Part 2 Here! / Part 3 here!
A/N: I already know some of y’all are going to be mad, it’s 2020 and twilight needs some diversity, don’t @ me.
* You’re not really sure how you got here
* “This ones done”
* Edward holds out the blood bag to you, carefully pulling out the needles from you beloved Deer, Hayden.
* “Ah, thank you.” You place it carefully along with the others, before lavishing Hayden with affection
* “You were so good today! You’re going to get extra carrots, yes you are!”
* You’re aware of Edwards gaze on you as he disinfects the injection point.
* “You know it’s illegal to have Deer as pets in Alaska don’t you?” The corner of his mouth is quirked in the smallest smirk you have ever seen, and you roll your eyes
* “Tanya got a permit, the official stance is they’re her deer, I just take care of them for some extra pocket money”
* Not that anyone would venture into the “siren house” to ask questions
* You knew people were probably wary of coming up to the estate, even the mail man looked dead scared when he left Irina’s Lululemon packages in the mailbox
* But you didn’t think the locals legit called the manse “The Siren House”
* Edward told you they used to call it “The Witch House” but then, upon seeing the Denali sisters, changed it to Siren
* Edward doesn’t say anything, just moves to take the filled blood bags up to the house
* Ever the gentleman
* You really thought Edward would show up once, figure out he couldn’t read your mind, and retreat into his own moody silence.
* You figured you would mostly be dealing with Carlisle, who would teach you how to draw blood from your heard of deers, and then you would be on your own.
* But instead it was Edward who volunteered to do it for you, Carlisle was busy with his day job after all.
* He shows up once a week, usually after school, and carefully extracts the blood
* Then he puts them inside the fridge and leaves
* You really don’t get what’s going on, if he hates you so much why even bother coming over in the first place
* You’re about to fall into your usual rhythm of handing him the blood bags, which he then puts in the fridge when he breaks your routine
* “Why-“ your head pops up from the small pile of blood bags and to him. He’s looking away, but then his gaze meets yours. “Why go through all this trouble for a few deer.”
* You grin and hand him a blood bag
* “Another vampire might say the same thing to you, why go through all the trouble for a few humans?”
* He flinches, and you laugh. He’s so unaware of himself it’s actually funny
* “For the record, I do it because they remind me of my (Dog/Cat/Pet).” He quirks an eyebrow at that.
* “Your pet?”
* You nod. You’re number one concern on arrival here had been whether your dog was okay, but sifting through your memories of this life, you realized your dog had passed away in the middle of high school.
* “When I look into their face, all I can think about is my dog” you shrug, it’s the same with bears and other animals too.
* “Also, it’s kinda disgusting to drink that blood straight out of the animal.”
* Draining the blood must have deducted something from the taste, you can’t imagine what that skunky revolting flavor would have been like if you were drinking straight from the animal.
* Edward laughs. It’s the first time he’s laughed around you, pearly white canines in full view, the skin at the corner of his eyes folds
* It’s cute, very boyish. You get what Bella was talking about now
* “You get used to it after a while” he shrugs
* You shake your head, no one should ever have to drink that crap
* “Here, try some of my blood” you say it like you’re offering him some cookies you made. You pick up one of the bags, still warm, and he quirks an eyebrow
* This isn’t the first time you’ve offered, usually he declines and rushes to leave
* One time it looked like he might say yes, but then he noticed Tanya and excused himself.
* He accepts the bag, holding it up with one hand
* “Do you pour it in a mug?”
* And so you and Edward sip your blood-Capri-suns in the kitchen that’s only now started to be used
* You sit in the counter cross legged, while he leans against the adjacent counter. Both of you silently sipping your meals.
* “This is really good” he finally says, his blood bag almost empty.
* “Who’d you have? I’ve been trying to add different veggies to their meal to see if it brings out a different flavour profile.”
* He had Henrietta, who you had been giving more citrus too. Partially for flavour, and partially because she’s your favourite
* “It kind of tastes like...fruit punch” Edward recalls after a prolonged minute.
* He seems so nostalgic, you wonder how long it’s been since he’s had human food
* “I think genetics have something to do with the flavour too, the breed from this region all seem to have a fruity aftertaste”
* “I’m partial to deer since they don’t have a strong game taste aftertaste.”
* “Yes! That part is the worst, it’s like eating a skunk” You scowl and he laughs again.
* You know he doesn’t belong to you, he’s Bella’s, in a few years she’ll be all he thinks or cares about.
* But maybe the two of you can be friends until then.
* All at once the moments broken, Edward stands a bit straighter, the smile on his face gone.
* You turn to look behind you to see Carmen.
* Her head is tilted to the side, a smile tugging on her lips
* “You both look like you’re having fun.”
* After that the conversation is pleasant, but it definitely stutters until Edward eventually leaves.
* “I think he likes you” You’re reading a book by the fire, the gentle heat is nice and it sets the mood.
* “What?”
* Carmen’s grinning
* “The Cullen boy is interested in you.”
* You just shake your head. You doubt it, Edwards only got a one track mind for one person. And it’s not you
* “It would be nice if we could be friends though, I don’t really know many other people my physical age.”
* Carmen stops mid-stitch on her embroidery hoop
* “Is that something you want? Because the Cullen’s have other’s your a-“
* “I don’t need you to set up play dates for me Carmen”
* “Understood”
* Edward comes by regularly, to help you with your animals. You’re both always under the (discrete) supervision of one of your guardians (excluding Tanya of course.)
* And with each visit you learn a little more about him
* You find out that right now he’s masquerading as a senior in high school, he’s considering going to college for veterinary sciences
* “Why veterinary sciences?” You wonder if he’s about to poach your best deer and start his own blood business when he shrugs
* “It’s one of the few degrees I don’t have”
* You’re drinking blood-Capri-suns out on the porch, he’s still in his school clothes, including a very puffy jacket
* “What were you going to do?” Your raise an eyebrow and he elaborates “before you turned, what were you plans for the future.”
* “I was on my graduation trip, I was going to college in the fall”
* You got accepted into your safety school with a generous scholarship.
* Edward doesn’t press any further. But you can tell that he wants too.
* Many nights go by, you experiment with you animals diets, have supervised hang-outs with Edward, you meet Carlisle every so often who basically gives you therapy and helps you control your emotions
* Life is good
* But your growing complacency with the situation is starting to bother you
* You haven’t forgotten about Alec and Jane who are still fighting so hard to survive, or the countless others who would prefer this way of life if they only knew
* You know the minute you start being content is the minute the world wins
* So every night -or really every so often, you’ve lost all perception of time, the nights in Alaska are totally fucked and these heathens don’t even have a damn clock. Your only really sign of time is the mail man dropping off amazon packages- you sit and dream
* You think about giving back to the community, about saving your friends, and about dethroning fucking Aro
* You’re only at the beginning now, there’s still so much work to do, but it’s a start
* You hear a noise and your eyes open
* If you had a beating heart it would stutter when it saw Edward standing beside your bed, your hand moves on it’s own through reflex, clutching your heart
* Under the circumstances you would expect someone else to laugh, but Edward just looks confused
* “Are you...sleeping?”
* “I like to pretend, it’s a nice way to end the day” he raises an eyebrow at that
* “It’s 4 in the afternoon”
* “Well damn Edward, we don’t have any clocks in this house, how am I supposed to know what time it is.”
* He does laugh at that
* “Is it...nice?”
* “Yeah, it’s pretty relaxing, kills some time too.” Noticing the curious look on his face, you ask:
* “Do you want to try?” You pat the space on the bed beside you.
* You’re fully expecting for Edward with his old fashioned virtues to deny your suggestion. So you’re surprised that after several long seconds of silence, and a rather pained look, he adheres to your request and lies next to you on your bed.
* It’s a king size bed, so he’s at least three Great Danes away from you, but the closeness still surprises you.
* “What do I do now?” He says, eyes closed.
* “Daydream, or fantasise I guess, about things that happened in your day, or things you wish happened, places you want to go and memories you wish you could relive”
* “What do you usually dream about?” He asks, eyes open now
* “I think about Jane,” the answer is automatic, and you regret it as soon as the words come out. But Edward’s expression doesn’t change so you continue. “I think about my deers and my family too.” Most of the time you’re just thinking about what animal you want to excitement with next tbh
* “And sometimes I think about you.”
* And how glad you are to have a friend
* Edward doesn’t say anything for a long time, and for a second you hope he hasn’t misunderstood your words, you know he’ll never feel that way about you. All of those romantic feelings are saved for Bella
* “Would you like to come to my house sometime?” The questions throws you off, and your expression illicit’s a laugh from him. “Emmett and Esme are dying to meet the newborn from the Denali coven”
* That’s probably true for Esme, you’re pretty sure Emmett just wants to have some physical match with the “Volturi-reject”
* “That sounds fun, sure.”
* Maybe they have a clock in their house you can steal
* Edward shows up the next day in his shiny white Volvo to pick you up.
* On either side of you on the front porch are Carmen and Kate with their most fierce expressions (and behind them is Eleazer who just looks like he’s along for the ride)
* “Where are you going?” Kate asks
* “Our home on the other side of the mountain, you’ve been there before” Edwards got a small smile curling in his lips, and an eyebrow raised.
* “What will you do?” Carmen asks
* “My family’s having a board game night, I think we’re playing monopoly”
* “What time will you bring them home?” Kate intervenes, man they’re not even pretending to be polite
* “Well it’s not a school night-“ Seeing his joke isn’t going to land, he rethinks his words midway
* “Whenever they tell me to.”
* You’re half expecting to get a curfew, even though this household seems to operate without the concept of time, when Eleazer interjects
* “Well be safe, and have a good time.” He slides a backpack up your shoulders. “I packed you some blood bags in case you get hungry, Henrietta’s since I know that’s your favourite.”
* He’s the only one waving as you get into Edward’s car
* The view as you drive is breath taking, the snow covered mountains, abs crisp green trees
* Edward laughs beside you, at your awestruck expression no doubt
* “You don’t get out much do you?”
* You have your nose practically pressed to the glass
* “Not at all.”
* The Cullen’s home is reminiscent of the one from the movies. All light, with glass everywhere. It’s like a aurora, all wavy with no true shape
* “Welcome to our home (Y/N)” Carlisle greats you first, and behind him is... Esme
* She’s not at all like the books or the movie
* She’s definitely not white, you can’t tell exactly what race, but she’s definitely a POC.
* Her caramel cheekbones seem even more prominent when she offers you a smile.
* “It’s so nice to finally meet you, I’m Esme.”
* For some reason her being a POC, makes you feel more comfortable around her.
* Maybe you will ask her to draw up those plans for a proper barn.
* Edward stifles a laugh behind you, and you raise an eyebrow.
* “Emmett is dying to meet you upstairs.”
* You follow Edward up the stairs, finally meeting the family that spawned four books and a movie franchise.
* None of them look like they’re actor counterparts
* For one Emmett is black. And also really handsome, he’s got this Chadwick Boseman look alike thing going on and you’re down for it (RIP)
* Rosalie looks basically the way she was described in the books, all blonde hair and angel faced, but she’s the only one
* Alice is definitely Asian, she kinda looks like Lana Condor
* Jasper.... is ambiguously brown, but it still makes you let out a sigh of relief when you remember he was a Major in the CONFEDERATE army.
* More to the story than someone who was blatantly racist and supported slavery.
* They’re all beautiful, and they terrify you. You’re not exactly sure why, but something primal in you tells you to run away as fast as you can.
* But Edward lightly brushed the small of your back, pushing you forward. Right into the lions den.
* “Hello, I’m Rosalie”
* Looks like they picked her to be their spokesperson, all glittering smiles and flawless cheekbones. She extends her hand, and you lightly grasp it.
* “It’s nice to meet you.”
* It’s surreal to think how you know almost everything about this girl, while you two are virtually strangers
* Jasper introduces himself next, all smiles and quiet gentlemanly behavior.
* You’re not really sure what to expect with Alice, from what you know this girl has seen every future you could possibly have.
* Who knows what she saw
* But when she stands she hugs you
* “It’s good to see you!”
* “Alice, you haven’t introduced yourself”
* “Oh, right. I’m Alice”
* Emmett claps you on the back like you’re an old friend.
* “So, I heard you used to hang out with the sadist twins in the Volturi”
* You can practically feel the tension in the air, even Edward winces
* “They’re not so bad” really, what did anyone expect when they were in that environment
* Emmett grins
* “That’s bad ass”
* The rest of the night passes in a blur. The cullen’s game of monopoly includes some monstrous version where they put 8 different themed boards together and play in teams (You’re obviously on Edward and Alice’s team)
* They also have some sort of structure where they put four hotels together and called it a mega-hotel
* The whole thing blows up when Emmett accused Alice and Edward of using their powers to cheat
* “What do you want me to do, I can’t turn it off when I want Emmett, trust me I would especially when you and-“
* “Oh shut up Emmett, like we haven’t noticed Rosalie has an awful lot of $500 bills” Jasper interjects
* “It’s because you always pay me rent in small change!” She screams
* “Now-“ Carlisle tried to interject but Alice stands up
* “That’s a lie! I saw you steal from the bank several times when Esme wasn’t looking” Alice screams
* It goes on like this until Carlisle Declares the game over, and shoos everyone away.
* “Sorry, I would say it’s usually not like this, but I would be lying” Edward grins and you shrug
* “It was pretty fun and... entertaining in its own way” Edward beams at you, and once again, you definitely feel the dazzling effect Bella described in the movies
* “Should I... take you home now?” You can tell he doesn’t want to take you back yet, and if you’re being honest you don’t want to go back either
* The Cullen’s house has so much light, and you can see the stars so clearly here
* And if you’re being honest things seem to be way more entertaining here
* Edward takes you to a nook which houses a grand piano
* You’re fingers instinctively roam over the keys.
* “Do you play?”
* “Just a bit”
* You’re not the one who knew how to play, not really. But now this body is yours. You’ve thought about asking Carmen for a Piano, you’re sure they would love something that adds to the gothic feel of the mansion, but always cast it aside.
* You’re busy enough with your research.
* “Play me something” Edward grins.
* Alec had said the same thing to you when you were first taken by the Volturi, at the time your mind had raced wondering which piece would impress him the most. Which would aide in your survival.
* But looking at Edward now, you know that it’s not the same situation.
* He really does want you to play whatever your heart desires
* So you play “Love like you”, accompanied by your quiet voice reciting the lyrics
* At some point Edward sits beside you, playing in a deeper key, adding another layer of depth to your performance
* Wordlessly, afterwards he plays a piece of his own, Claire de Lune. Which you know is a remarkably hard piece.
* Still halfway you chime in, your super human fingers keeping up with him with ease
* And so it goes on like this, you play a modern song, waiting for him to catch up and he does the same with a classic
* Like a never ending game of cat and mouse
* It stops abruptly when Edward is in the middle of “moonlight sonata” when Alice clears her throat from behind you.
* “I hate to disturb,” there’s a teasing grin arched on her face. “But if you don’t drop them off, Carmen and Tanya are going to come over personally to retrieve them-“
* You see Edward wince, no doubt reviving Alice’s vision through his ability
* “And I don’t think anyone wants that.”
* You nod, moving to grab your backpack when you overhear Alice say-
* “You never let me play like that with you”
* Edward let’s out some sort of noise akin to a scoff
* “Where did you learn those songs?” He asks when you’re on the road
* Well you can’t tell him they’re from artists who aren’t known yet
* “Personal compositions” you murmur, and Edward grins his dazzling grin
* You talk about nothing but music until you pull into the familiar circle driveway of the manse
* Right when you’re about to thank him for a fun time, he gently stops you with a fleeting touch to your shoulder.
* “I’m graduating next month,” he hands you an envelope which you assume has his graduation card. “I was wondering if you would like to come to the ceremony.”
* You hold the card with both hands stunned, he’s already graduating high school?
* That means only 4 more years until he moves to Forks, and another two until he meets Bella
* And you realize that while time is frozen for both of you until the end of the universe, you’re the only one who isn’t moving forward
* “Yeah, I’d love that!”
* You try your best to smile, but your sure it comes off looking strange
* You don’t talk to anyone, heading straight for your bedroom
* What’s next for you?
666 notes · View notes
retrievablememories · 3 years
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matched | ten (m)
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title: matched pairing: alien!ten x black!reader genre: sci-fi, angst, fluff, romance, smut summary: the quest for love leads you to a new dating app with a slight twist—and straight into the inbox of someone who’s light-years out of your usual dating pool. word count: 9.7k warnings: familial conflict, strained parental relationship, mentions of cheating, prejudice/discrimination based on species, body modifications/alien biology, unprotected sex, oral (female receiving), dom!ten, photography during sex, cumshot, squirting, some spanking a/n: as always, i lose all impulse control whenever i get a ten request so i have finished this sooner than i expected
i decided to lean more into the romance plotline than stress too much over the realism of the science-fiction elements with this fic, so there are some inaccuracies/impossibilities...but that’s fiction for you 🙃
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AM 2074 (After Migration)
You are lonely.
Your last breakup did not end well, to say the least, and you haven’t dated for a while since then. It seemed like a smart move—a safe one—to shun all romantic relationships until you felt ready again. At the beginning, you were glad to be alone for a while, to regroup and rediscover yourself worrying about another person’s opinions on everything you did. To not have to deal with someone else’s drama.
The toll of not having companionship is gradually getting to you, though. Even if your last relationship was a mess more often than it wasn’t, you still long for those good moments, like going on night dates on the weekends and sharing pillowtalk into long hours of the early morning. You hadn’t realized how much you’d missed those things until all the emotions of it crashed down on you at once.
Your friend Malika claims to have a solution for your loneliness. Now, sitting at this outdoor cafe, you’re simultaneously eager and hesitant to hear what she has to propose, knowing her track record for silly plots.
With twinkling eyes, she looks at you and says, “You should try a dating app.” She clasps her hands together and puts them on the table like she’s made a grand announcement. You absorb her words for a few moments, looking out at the street across from you and watching cars—some hovering above the asphalt, some driven autonomously, and many still with human drivers—pass by.
You eventually sigh, your shoulders slumping. “That’s the big solution you called me out here for? People have been using dating apps for decades, that’s nothing new.”
“Exactly! The fact that they’re still popular even in 2074 is proof that they work, Y/N. You can put yourself out there and talk to dozens of guys without even meeting them in person. If one connection doesn’t work out, you don’t have anything to lose, and you don’t have to see the guy ever again.”
“Maybe I’ll lose my sweet time and patience during the process, though.”
Malika shakes her head and types something into her hologram pad, then holds it up for you to see. The hologram displays a dating app called matched—it reminds you of what Tinder was supposedly like before it became eclipsed by more advanced platforms, though that happened years before you were even born. “This one is kinda new, but it’s gotten popular fast and has good success rates. I’ve tried it before and met some nice guys. Give it at least one chance before you hate on it.”
“Ugh, I don’t know...there are always so many weirdos hanging out on those apps. What if I meet someone who keeps a collection of severed alien tentacles in an icebox in their house? Like that one guy who showed up on the news?”
“...Really?” Malika rolls her eyes. “You’re so dramatic. Stop getting in your own way and just take a risk for once.”
You shake your head at her optimism. “I’ll do it because I know you won’t leave me alone about it, but don’t expect me to find some great love story on this app.”
--
Once you download the app and start making an account, it becomes pretty obvious that this isn’t just a regular dating platform.
Choosing your gender and age preferences is normal enough, and you pass through those screens quickly until you get to one that gives you two new options.
➤ Species Preference ❐ Human ❐ Extraterrestrial
Whoa. Aliens? An alien-friendly dating app?
You weren’t overly familiar with the mechanics of dating apps, and you certainly didn’t consider that ones allowing aliens might’ve existed until now. It had been 15 years since the first contact with aliens was established, and a little less than a decade had passed since aliens began migrating to Earth and taking up permanent residence—and vice versa.
Humans had little problem with accepting aliens’ technological adaptations and claiming them as their own, though they were far less welcoming of the aliens themselves. That resulted in strained interactions between the two species, with aliens trying their best to assimilate and humans questioning their every motive. As far as personal relationships went, interspecies mingling between humans and extraterrestrials was still fairly uncommon—something that only people who were considered to be on the fringes of society participated in. There were “normal citizens of society” who built relationships with aliens, but many of them also kept it solely as a kink or fetish to be done only in the dark.
You decide to check both options. It feels a little scary, like diving headfirst into the unknown, but you are open to it either way. You’ve interacted with aliens before, both as kind acquaintances and near strangers, and they’ve always been relatively normal in the grand scheme of things—beings trying to survive and make a life for themselves like anyone else. Certainly not plotting how to take over Earth as many people have speculated. If they really wanted to, they possess the technology to have done that ten times over already.
You take a while trying to come up with a clever bio and spend an even longer time mulling over which pictures of yourself to choose, but you eventually complete your profile.
The first few matches you make are not very successful.
Whether it’s human guys feeding you terrible pickup lines or alien guys who can’t make it past the language barrier—or who ask you to move back with them to their home planet after two days of talking—you don’t see any potential love interests during your first two weeks of using the app. 
You’re not sure what kind of skills Malika used to make multiple good matches, but maybe you need to interrogate her so you can sharpen your own. So you decide to do exactly that.
“Don’t give up on it just yet. Just be yourself—which also means not being afraid to cuss someone out if they come at you crazy. Some of these dudes lowkey like the mean girl shit, though, which is kinda weird.” Malika speaks from the shimmering translucent mirage of your hologram pad as you walk through the park one afternoon. She couldn’t make it out to meet you today, but you managed to snatch a moment to talk to her even if it couldn’t be face-to-face. “You probably shouldn’t expect to find a boyfriend in the first few days—”
“Girl, I don't think anyone was expecting that. Duh.”
“I’m saying, just give it time!”
“Okay, but listen. You didn’t tell me it’s also for aliens. Have you dated one before? You never told me!” You lower your voice then, not wanting anyone nearby to eavesdrop on your conversation and hear that part. You feel kinda bad for even thinking that way, but it’s hard to shake the stigma associated with interacting with aliens.
“Yes, and it was the best sex I ever had, but maybe I’ll tell you about that later.”
“Sis. Don’t withhold tea from me!”
“Someday when you’re not literally standing in the middle of the park, okay?” Malika shakes her head, smiling.
“Don’t forget about it, either.”
“I won’t. And you know what to do if you find a guy. I want to be the first to know!”
“Sure, sure. I wouldn’t hold my breath on it, though.”
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You decide to spend some more time on the app after that conversation instead of just deleting it like you’d planned to initially. And one day, you get another new match that catches your eye out of the many others.
“Ten? Like the number…?” Besides the interesting name, you immediately see that he’s an extraterrestrial. From the Sommu race, as it says in his bio.
You click on his profile.
You’re a little surprised by how pretty he is, which isn’t to say the other aliens you matched with were all hideous. But he doesn’t have tentacles coming out of his face or two sets of eyes, either. The most noticeable thing about his alienness is his blue skin.
“Likes...dancing, art, music, okay so we have an artist type here...dislikes...fruit. Huh. That’s...interesting.”
The pictures of him on his profile are all deliberately artistic, as in they aren’t just some half-baked selfies he took with a hologram pad. You grow increasingly curious. It’s safe to say he’s either super into himself or just appreciates the art of good photography, and you figure there’s only one way to find out. You decide to take the first step and message him.
➤ Nice pictures :) 
You don’t know when or if you’ll get a message back, since he’s not online when you send it, so you try not to get your hopes up too much. Maybe you should’ve tried to come up with something more cool and funny—nice pictures?—but you try to remember Malika’s advice and roll your eyes to yourself. There’s no point in getting stressed over a dude you don’t even know yet.
You eventually get a reply back from Ten.
➤ thank you 🙏 are you into photography too? you have talent for taking beautiful photos 
You giggle quietly to yourself; another line, but it’s definitely one of the tamer ones you’ve received. Why not see where this one goes?
The first conversation you have consists mostly of the regular getting-to-know-you talk, such as your personal interests and favorite things. You get him to talk more about his photography hobby, which he’s eager to tell you all about—as well as his penchant for art.
To your optimism, you and Ten quickly get comfortable with each other. You soon forget about all the other potential matches you have, but those don't matter much to you anymore. So far, you’ve connected the most successfully with Ten, which means you’re more than glad to stop spending your time reading boring messages from guys who’ve only pretended to have things in common with you.
Things go so well, in fact, that he asks you to meet in person not long after you begin talking to each other.
For your first meetup, you decide to meet at a park nearby—the same one you’d been walking through the day you were talking to Malika about that very dating app. You and Ten have talked through the hologram pad on multiple occasions, so you’re more reassured that you’re not starting from scratch with some faceless being. Still, the thrill of seeing each other in person for the first time is undeniable.
“Y/N?” You turn your head at the sound of your name, and you see Ten walking towards you.
“Ten!” You give him a smile, waving at him. You feel a little more nervous than you usually would on a date, though you can’t tell if it’s the good kind of nervousness. You mostly chalk it up to not having been out with anyone in a while.
Ten’s just as pretty up close as he was in the photos and on camera, if not even more attractive; he’s breathtaking in the light of the sun. His hair is styled nicely, meticulously-place strands curling over his forehead, and his clothes perfectly outline his slim body. He looks pleased to see you, his lips curving into a coy smile.
“You could’ve given me a warning,” he says as he outstretches his arms to you. You hug him, but not without a questioning glance on your face. He is warm and smells good, like juniper, which almost makes you forget about your question.
“Warned you about what?”
“How you’re even more beautiful in person.” He says this at your ear before pulling away, and it makes the back of your neck bloom with heat.
“Oh, you’re laying it on thick.” You giggle nervously, shifting on your feet.
“Are you ready to go?” he asks.
“Yes, let’s go!”
You leave the park to go to an aquarium nearby, which is the biggest one in the city. You find out quickly that Ten is easily fascinated by the wide range of creatures there. Despite living on Earth for a few years now, he hasn’t seen a lot of them until now.
You walk through the blue-lit hallways together, surrounded by water everywhere you turn. You observe the different animals up close and from far away, reading information about them from the signs beside their tanks.
“What the hell is that?” Ten says through laughter, looking at the squished-up mouth of a stingray as it floats in front of the glass, baring its pale underside to you both.
“It’s a stingray!”
He scrunches his nose up. “It’s ugly. But kinda cute, too…”
You both end up staying at the aquarium longer than you expected, with Ten wanting to see practically every animal they had on display; plus, you got to see some you weren’t familiar with before either.
After visiting the aquarium, you go downtown—which is otherwise known as food truck central, where you can get pretty much anything you’re craving. This area is always quite busy this time of evening, especially on the weekends. Food in hand, you and Ten end up walking through a few of the quieter back streets where there’s not as many people—streets where the closely-packed buildings give way to the grassy yards and paved roads of nearby neighborhoods.
“Should we talk about our families now, or is it too soon?” you say jokingly. “You know, that seems to be the only thing we haven’t mentioned after talking about everything else under the sun.” You’re not entirely sure why you bring this up while knowing your own relationship with your parents isn’t great, but you are curious to hear about Ten’s family.
“I don’t really know mine,” he replies.
“Oh, I’m sorry.” You feel a little bad about it, thinking there was definitely a reason why he never mentioned the topic.
Ten looks confused for a moment before shaking his head. “No, it’s not like that. Sommu never form close bonds with their parents or siblings.”
You give him a curious look. “Why not?”
“Well, we aren’t born or raised the human way,” he explains. “Our parents have a bunch of us at once, raise us for the first couple of years, and then go off to reproduce again and continue the population.”
You’re startled at that. “Just for a few years? How do you survive?”
“We age faster...both physically and mentally. We become independent around 4 or 5 years old, and we can live without our parents.”
“That’s...definitely very different.” You try to wrap your mind around that information, though it’s difficult. Even with your not-so-healthy relationship with your parents, you couldn’t imagine having no family whatsoever at such a young age. You also can’t even begin to comprehend what it’d look like to be taking care of yourself at only 5 years old, fast aging or not. “But, you said a bunch at once...how is that possible?”
“We are formed inside things like eggs. It’s not like your form of childbirth. See?” And you become flustered when he lifts his shirt up to show his lack of a belly button, right there in the middle of the street.
“Uh, wow.”
“The human concepts of ‘family’ and ‘relationships’ are...very new to me.” He seems a little embarrassed to admit this. “That’s why I, um, joined a dating app, for more experience...I was told I need to learn to be more…” He searches for the word. “Im...pertinent?”
“...Empathetic?”
“Yeah, that.”
“So, did that come from a previous partner, or…?”
“Yeah, I’ve had two relationships since I’ve been here.” He seems wistful now, maybe a little sad. “They didn’t work out well. Maybe we were too different.” Before the mood can shift too far into negativity, Ten turns to you with a soft smile. “But maybe that’s not the kind of thing you want to hear while we’re on a date.”
You shake your head and smile. “I don’t mind, it’s interesting to know about.” More than interesting. You want to ask him a hundred more things about what his life was like when he first got to Earth. “Anyway, you can never have too many new starts in life. Let’s enjoy this one.”
--
At the end of your date, Ten walks with you back to your place. It’s almost midnight at this point, with you both walking all the way back from downtown. You’d drawn more than a few skeptical stares over the course of the day, but you both did your best to ignore those and just focus on each other.
“I’m really glad we got to go out today, it was fun,” you say, hugging your arms to yourself to shield against the cool spring breeze.
“I think I haven’t had that much fun in a while,” he agrees. Ten smiles wide then, the tip of his tongue sticking out from between his teeth, and you have to do a double take. 
“What—”
“Oh, that. Sometimes I forget everyone doesn’t have this...” And when he sticks his tongue out, you see clearly now that it’s split halfway down the middle. Sort of like how a snake’s would be. “D’you like it?” His expression is wicked when he asks this, and a strange heat sweeps through your body.
“Wow.” You cringe at your lackluster answer, but that’s the only thing you can muster up at the moment, too busy internally questioning yourself. You’ve seen body modders with split tongues in documentaries and on the internet, but it’s never appealed to you like this before, and you don’t know what to do with that new realization.
“It’s okay, it takes some getting used to.” He gives you a smile that might be called innocent by anyone else, but to your eyes it’s quite obvious he’s proud about making you flustered.
“Getting used to...yeah, I’m sure.” There are about 15 different questions you want to ask him about that, too, but you aren’t going there on the first date.
“So...can I expect to see you again?”
“Of course.” You smile again at the hopeful note in his tone. “Just let me know whenever you want to go out again.”
Before Ten leaves, he places a hand on your shoulder and kisses you on the cheek. It’s a simple and short kiss, but it still makes you blush beneath your brown skin.
You wave goodbye to him from your doorstep as he goes, feeling like you’ve finally done something right for the first time in a long time.
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You’d taken a chance with dating an extraterrestrial, someone so different from yourself and your species, and you figured it would be a new experience. Obviously. What you did not bet on, however, was the idea that you’d fall for Ten so fast.
After three months of dating exclusively, you feel like you could say you love him, which is frighteningly quick for you; though you don’t tell him this yet.
You’ve decided to bring him to meet your family. The idea frightens you, because your parents have never been very receptive to the aliens’ migration. But you are still holding out some hope that maybe they’ll realize all their assumptions were wrong, and that you’ve found a nice man who you love and who you’re sure loves you just as much. Whether he’s human or not shouldn’t matter.
You manage to set a date when all your schedules match up so you can bring Ten over to your parent’s house. Ten is nervous—more nervous than he was when you went on your first date—which you find a little surprising. You’ve gotten used to him being the one who you can lean on, who always seems to know the right answer.
“Do you think it will go well?” he asks, his tone implying he’s not confident of the answer.
“I hope so.” You give him a smile that you hope is reassuring and squeeze his hand.
When your parents open the door, there’s visible surprise on their faces. You’d already told them your boyfriend was not human, which drew doubtful responses when you first said it, but they’re acting as if they never knew that information—as if this is the first time they’re seeing an alien, period.
“Um…hi, mom, dad.”
“It’s nice to meet you,” Ten says, though his own tone is overly formal, like he doesn’t know how he should speak. “I’m Ten.”
Your parents pause for a few moments longer. Finally, the awkward quiet is broken. “We thought you were just messing,” your dad says, though he steps out of the way to let you both come in, if a bit reluctantly.
“I—no.” You’re uncertain how to respond to that, though you don’t feel optimistic about what it entails. Your mother doesn’t say anything at all, just stares at you and Ten like you’re both strangers who’ve just waltzed in uninvited. She goes back in the kitchen to finish dinner once the door is closed, not saying anything to either one of you, and you already feel a cold pit settling in the bottom of your stomach.
Your dad sits in the living room with you and Ten, and another awkward silence ensues as your dad gives a stiff smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. He clasps his fingers together and pulls them apart repeatedly, like they’ll give him the answers for what’s going on.
“This is just a fling, right? Of course you won’t be staying with this ma—” Your dad almost says man but then stutters, thinking maybe the term isn’t appropriate since Ten isn’t human. He makes a vague gesture to fill in the space of the missing word.
“It’s not a fling,” you say, feeling like you’ve had cold water poured down your back. You’re sitting straight and still on the couch, and it’s not comfortable, but you’re too tense to move. Ten is almost equally stiff beside you.
“Y/N, we just want you to make good decisions for yourself.” That’s what your dad says out loud, though the look in his eyes finishes the rest of that sentence: And I don’t think this is a good decision.
“I am,” you insist. “I don’t need to be told that over and over again.”
“Me and Y/N are happy together,” Ten explains, and your dad seems a little shocked that he’s decided to speak.
“Do you truly think you’re what she needs?” your dad asks. You’re not sure what makes you more angry; the question itself, or the fact that he keeps his tone non-accusatory and light, as if he’s only asking something like where do you work? Like the answer doesn’t matter because he’s already made up his mind.
“As long as Y/N wants to keep seeing me, there’s no reason to stop our relationship.”
A sound of displeasure comes from your mother in the kitchen, and your skin prickles. Your dad nods to Ten’s answer, but he does so in a way that conveys he just wants this conversation to be over rather than consider anything that was said.
You deeply regret not leaving straight after that failed discussion, but you soon find out just how bad it can get once you all make it to the dinner table. Your mother is chillingly silent for the first half of the dinner, acting like neither you nor Ten exist, while your dad attempts to make awkward small talk about how things are going.
There comes a point where you can no longer handle the cold sweat and the nerves, and you put your utensils down. Not that you had much of an appetite anyway.
“Why won’t you even talk to me?”
Your mother glares. “You can’t guess? What kind of question is that to ask?”
You falter. You don’t know why she always does this to you. Ask ridiculous rhetorical questions that you both already know the answer to. Now you must sit here and explain why you asked like it isn’t already obvious.
“I’m visiting after I haven’t been here in a while. With my boyfriend. I thought...I don’t know. The least you could do—” Your mother shakes her head at the word “boyfriend,” and you already know everything else you said went in one ear and out the other.
“I still don’t know why you didn’t just stay with Christian?” she interrupts. “He had a decent job, came to see us often, and was NOT an alien.”
“But he cheated on me,” you say, a sickness rising in you.
“That’s what men do sometimes, Y/N. You deal with it and move on. You’re supposed to be strong—fix whatever is making him do it.”
You and Ten exchange a tense look, and there is clear confusion whirling in his eyes, but you don’t say anything to each other. “That relationship is over. I’m trying to do something for myself for once, not whatever you think I should do.” Even saying those words makes you internally recoil, unsure of what the reaction will be, but you don’t take them back.
“You may be an adult but we’re still your parents. Frankly, you need to be with a man of your own race and species—not this blue Martian here. How would you even have kids?”
Ten gives a humorless laugh, like he wants to respond but doesn’t want to make the situation worse or offend you. “You know what, I should just leave,” he says abruptly, rising from his seat.
You get up quickly after he does, but your mom slams her hand on the table. “Y/N, you better not walk out of here.”
You feel defeated and exhausted, like you always do when dealing with your parents and their objections to every single thing you do, but you decide not to give in this time. “Stop treating me like I’m still a child, ma.”
“What does being an adult matter when you still act childish? Don’t come back here crying when this doesn’t work out. I’ve already warned you more than enough.”
“That isn’t going to happen.” 
“So now you think you know better than me, when you couldn’t even keep a man the first time around.”
“This is hopeless,” you sigh, feeling wounded and angry at all these cheap shots.
“Y/N, please just listen to your mother for once…” your dad interjects, but you try your best to ignore their protests as you grab your things and follow Ten to the door. You can still hear your mother’s angry complaints as you close the front door behind you, though you’re surprised—but grateful—that neither of them attempt to follow you outside.
The ride back home is uncomfortable and mostly quiet.
“I’m sorry, Ten,” you say, feeling like you’ve been frozen from the inside out despite it being nearly summer. You’re near tears when you speak. Ten shakes his head, keeping his eyes on the road ahead.
“It’s not your fault…” he replies weakly, though his words aren’t very persuasive to either of you.
He still walks you up to your door when you arrive back at your place, trailing slightly behind you. The night air is distractingly humid, wrapping around the both of you like a physical thing. Neither of you know what to say to each other.
When you get to your front door, you turn to look at him. “I shouldn’t have made you come. I should’ve known...” 
“I wanted to come,” he points out. “You didn’t make me do anything.” Ten’s tone isn’t outright harsh, but the words are noticeably sharp. Maybe he realizes it, because his face softens as if he’s said something wrong.
You nod. It’s as if there’s a mountainous gap between you two that you just can’t cross right now. “I get it.” You say this almost mindlessly, because you’re not sure what you’re getting, exactly. Your hand rests on the doorknob. You don’t want to end the night on this awkward and painful note, but neither of you are making any progress with this lack of a real conversation. Maybe now isn’t the right time to try to talk about it.
“I think...I’ll just go home tonight.” You expected he’d say that, but the words still make your heart hurt, even if you don’t want them to. He looks like he might say something else, but he just gives you a small nod before starting off.
“Ten…” You don’t know what you want to ask of him or tell him, if anything, but his name slips from your lips like it’s something you can’t keep inside.
Ten stops for a moment and turns back to you. He steps closer again, leaning forward to give you a soft kiss on the lips. When he pulls back, his eyes hold you in place.
He mumbles, “I’m not mad at you,” before leaving.
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More than anything, you want to know how Ten is doing, but you’re too ashamed to contact him for the first couple days after that mess of a night. Maybe he thinks you’re just like your parents and doesn’t want anything to do with you anymore. His reassurance at the door wasn’t enough to soothe your worries, and you end up tearing yourself up internally over it—repeatedly recalling the warmth of his lips and wondering if that’s maybe the last time you’ll ever feel it.
Similarly, nothing but radio silence comes from his end. He doesn’t respond even after you finally muster up the nerve to send him a text—a short text, but still a message all the same—and you fear he must really be done with you.
On Ten’s part, he does have one justification for it; he’s preoccupied with dealing with the avalanche of unpleasant memories and emotions that incident resurfaced. Everything about what your parents said and how they looked at him reminds him of his past and ongoing struggles with trying to assimilate on Earth.
Even though he’s often very sure of himself and what he wants, he begins wondering if he’s “enough” for you. Maybe you’ve just been humoring him this whole time, or you’ve decided your parents are right and you’d be better off with another human. 
Those thoughts keep him up into the early morning hours, and he soon realizes he doesn’t want to let you go. In fact, he’s not sure what he’d do with himself if you decided to walk out of his life right now, and the idea of it makes him ill. Which makes him feel even more foolish for tuning you out.
Ten’s anxiety over losing you culminates in him standing on your doorstep again after almost a week of emptiness and not knowing how you were thinking or feeling—which has been killing him in its own way.
You’re not quite sure how to feel when you open the door and see him on the other side, but relief shoulders its way to the forefront.
“Y/N, I’m sorry—”
“Can you please—”
You both speak at the same time, your words breaking afterwards. 
“You can talk first,” Ten says.
“Come in.” You let him in the door, and the words start spilling before you know how to stop them. “Ten, I-I’m...really sorry. I should’ve known better than to put you in that situation, but I thought…” Your words trail off. You don’t want to let him know just how desperate you still are for your parents’ approval sometimes. Even though it’s a fruitless case. “I just wanted it to go well. I want things to work now, for us. I really, really want things to work for us.”
Ten surprises himself with how quickly he moves to take you in his arms before the last words have even finished settling in his mind. He hugs you tightly. “I thought maybe you wouldn’t want me anymore,” he whispers, like he’s telling you something forbidden.
“That couldn’t happen.” You’re saddened he’d come to that conclusion. “But...it’s not fair for you to leave me in the dark, either. I want to help you...so would you please let me?”
Ten squeezes you a bit tighter, as if you might disappear from his arms. “I’m sorry I ghosted you...it brought back bad memories of how things were when I first got here. When people were more open about treating me like some kind of enemy. I didn’t know how to deal with it.” You tuck your chin into his shoulder and listen to his breathing, his heartbeat, the sound of his words. “Y/N, I’m not sure if I’m very good at love, or if I even know enough about it. Maybe the others were right and I’m kidding myself with something I’ll never properly learn. But, I…” His voice cracks. “I-I think I love you. I don’t want to hurt you.”
Entirely overwhelmed, you answer his admission with a long kiss, cupping his face in your hands. His response to your kiss is automatic, the knots of tension unraveling in your embrace.
“I love you, Ten,” you whisper against his lips after you separate. Here and now, it doesn’t feel too soon at all; there couldn’t be a better time to say it. His expression is a lot of things at once. Relief, happiness, contentment...he’s blushing, but it shows up as a darker blue on his already blue skin. When he smiles, it turns his whole face into a picture of joy.
--
“I want to go away.” Quietly, you tell him this as you rest your head in his lap.
You’re both lying on your couch, the room dim and the sound of rain occupying the silence. A downpour started coming down soon after Ten got to your place. You’ve sat there just like that and listened to the rain on the windows for the past couple hours, not wanting to do anything else or separate from each other. You knew he wouldn’t want to go home, and you didn’t even have to ask him to stay.
Ten’s been petting your hair the whole time. The motion of his fingers in your kinky strands makes you sleepy, but now the movements pause at your words.
“Go where?” he asks.
“Away from all this. My parents hate me, and they won’t let me have any peace as long as I’m with you. I just want to go away for a while.” Despite you overflowing with love after finally getting your feelings out in the open, the thought of your parents’ disapproval has lingered steadily in the recesses of your mind. You close your eyes against the tears that begin to well up. Ten’s quiet for a few more moments, and then begins stroking your head again.
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.”
A few tears fall despite you trying to keep them in, and your eyelids flutter when you feel Ten’s fingers on your face, wiping them away. “Then we’ll go away.”
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Ten’s homeland is a planet where the sun—or rather, a star called Proxima Centauri that’s much like the sun—is always out, no matter what time of day it is. There are days where it rains or gets cloudy, but night never falls and the star never dips any lower in the sky, always staying pinned in that same spot like a tack on a corkboard. That everlasting light throws your body clock off, and combined with this weird new form of jet lag associated with space travel, you are a mess for the first week or so after your arrival.
Ten makes a few jokes about fragile human bodies, but for the most part he tends to you as best as he knows how and tells you stories about how he grew up to get your mind off the discomfort. He feeds you these neon green drinks that don’t look like anything on Earth you’ve had before, and although they do make you feel better, you begin to think maybe you should’ve had a wellness plan before running off-planet.
You aren’t the only human who’s ever visited or even lived there, though, which gives you reassurance about adjusting to everything. By now, there’s a small population of human beings living here due to the interplanetary exchange initiated by Earth.
Before you left, Ten told you he had a small home in his homeland. You didn’t quite expect to hear this, since he’d been on Earth for a while now and had no family to return to. Though he’d migrated, he still expected to come back to his planet every so often, if only to visit. Now was as good a time as any.
Although many differences exist, the scenery is much like Earth’s; there are ecosystems with plants and animals and other living beings—like the Sommu themselves. Ten’s homeland is not filled with wall-to-wall technology like you’d expect an alien city to be, based on the small examples you’ve seen on Earth. You might compare it to the tropics back on Earth, with the Sommu yielding to nature’s rightful place in their ecosystem instead of clearing out whole forests or continually mining for resources. Ten is amused by your struggle to comprehend the newness and unfamiliarity of it all.
When you feel good enough to explore, he starts taking you to the beach often. It looks mostly like any other beach, but there are large coral forms that grow out of the ocean, reaching up towards the impossibly blue and constantly illuminated sky. Because there is no moon to guide the tides, the water is eerily still, the surface mirror-like—like a huge lake or pond that extends in almost every direction for miles. You’d almost believe it was a mirror if you hadn’t seen a bird-like creature skimming across the surface as it flew by, creating fleeting ripples.
You swim around a little in the still waters after Ten convinces you that you aren’t going to turn into a fish or something equally scary. He has to hold both your hands the entire time to get you to step in, and he doesn’t let go until you’re confident enough to explore the water on your own.
“Just focus on me, okay?” His smile is bright and shining against his blue skin, and he looks you directly in the eyes as he backs into the water, breaking the surreal stillness of it with his movements. “It’s just like the water on Earth.”
“Okay, okay,” you say uncertainly, gripping his hands and stepping in tentatively. The water does feel like any other water you’ve touched throughout your life, which helps you calm down slightly. His hands stay tight around yours as you get waist-deep into the water.
When you’re finally able to let go of him, he claps his hands more enthusiastically than the situation probably calls for. “Yay, you’re a big girl now!”
You roll your eyes at him. “You’re not funny, Ten.”
--
On a bright afternoon, Ten lets you into a room of his house you haven’t entered before. You’ve passed by this shining white door several times, but it’s always remained firmly shut until now.
“What’s in here?” you ask as you hold his hand.
“That’s what I’m going to show you.” He laughs and pushes the door open.
You think it’s a darkroom at first, seeing nothing but dim light and the shiny surfaces of what looks like photographs as your eyes adjust. But when he touches his hand to a panel on the wall and the lights come on, you realize it’s not a darkroom. More like a small gallery for all his pictures.
The “pictures” are physical, but they aren’t like the old Polaroids or film photos that have begun fading out of existence on Earth. They’re small crystalline squares that play eternally-moving videos on their glossy surfaces—a bit different from the translucent holograms Earth adopted. You step further into the room to look at them. It’d probably take days to explore them all, there are so many. Different scenes play out as soundless movies, and when you look for long enough, you realize they’re split into different categories. Numerous events within a life.
Many are of the beach, other scenic places around his homeland, oddly-shaped buildings, and plants in colors that there are no names on Earth for. You step closer to one of the walls to look at the collection of images more closely. You actually do “recognize” a select few, linking them together with old memories Ten had shared with you only weeks ago. There’s so much happening in these small snippets of time, so many stories you haven’t yet heard, that you feel like you could look at them forever and not get enough.
“This is...something else.” Your words seem inadequate, but you don’t quite know how to express your sheer wonder.
“I could take some of you,” Ten suggests, from somewhere behind you. “I want to.”
You glance back at him. “Hm, yeah.”
“I’m serious.” Ten comes up behind you to clasp his arms around your waist. He tucks his chin into your shoulder. His lips are close at your neck, and you let them linger there. One of your hands goes to his own hand that’s over your waist, and you run your fingertips over his knuckles as you gaze at the photo wall before you. “I think you’d be the perfect muse.”
“You could do that.” You’re still entranced with it all, and you already know you’ve made up your mind to let him take as many photos of you as he wants.
--
The next time you go to the beach, Ten takes some photos of you standing near the huge coral forms—or at least as close as you are willing to get—and he laughs at your lingering hesitation.
Still, the crystalline photos he takes of you are the embodiment of perfection. When you look over them later, watching yourself twirl around and strike silly poses in the water, you can almost hear the sound of your laughter twining together and feel the warmth of a star that’s not the sun on your skin.
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“What if we stayed here?”
You ask Ten this while you’re lying in his bed, watching a kaleidoscope of shapes on the ceiling. The bedroom window is open to allow the breeze to come in. The ceiling of the bedroom—and every other room in the house—is more like an ever-changing reflection of shapes and colors than an actual ceiling. You might compare it to a mirror, like the surface of the ocean, but you think it’s much more complex than that. Sometimes you can see the distorted outline of yourself in it, like a funhouse mirror. Other times, you see the sky above.
Ten lies beside you with one hand behind his head and the other resting on his stomach, and he turns his head to look at you.
“Stayed?”
“If we just decided not to...go back to Earth.”
He pauses for a few moments. “Is that a good idea? You have a whole life there...and your friends…” Ten doesn’t mention your family, which you are grateful for.
You sigh. Nothing like a quick injection of reality after letting your imagination get ahead of you. “We’d have to go back. I’d have to tell them goodbye. And sort some other things out. Maybe it wouldn’t happen right now. But, after I do everything I need to do on Earth...maybe I could migrate here.”
“That’s a big decision to make...and it should be yours to decide.” Ten pauses again, like he’s weighing his words. “You know I don’t have many connections on Earth…” In other words, leaving Earth and returning home for good might not be as big of a deal for him as it would be for you.
You sit up and look out the window, seeing how the warm wind stirs the trees outside. “I want to.” You say it almost inaudibly, your words nearly carried off by the breeze. You turn back to him only to find him already there, sitting across from you and looking at you closely. Your faces are only inches from each other’s as he searches your eyes. “What do you want to do?”
“I’ll do anything you want to.” Ten’s voice is earnest, like he’d follow you to Hell and back if you asked, and you believe him.
Resting your hand on his cheek, you kiss him.
This kiss is a little different from the ones you’ve shared before—more yearning. More desperate. You kiss like there won’t be enough time to do all the things you want to do with each other—to each other. His split tongue bumps against yours, caresses it, and it causes a shiver to go down your spine, like it always does.
You end up lying back on the bed again with Ten’s body crowding yours in, legs tangling together and hips pressing against one another’s. Neither of you have made a move to take the other’s clothes off yet, but then he separates from your lips for a long moment and studies your features, from your eyebrows down to your mouth.
“Touch yourself for me.”
Your mouth drops open slightly.
“I want to see it.” He takes one of your hands and guides it up under your skirt and between your legs, pressing your fingers against your sex through your underwear, and you look at him with wide eyes, taking a deep breath. He lets go of your hand, and you keep yours right where it is. You’re slightly nervous about his black gaze trained on you, unrelenting and prying, but you begin to move your hand anyway. 
Over your underwear, you press your finger between your lower lips, sliding between them and over your clit, and a little tremor goes through your body. You find yourself getting wet more quickly than you normally would with Ten watching you as you tease your entrance. You breathe a little heavier but make no sound yet. One of Ten’s hands reaches out for your ankle, though he doesn’t do anything other than keep his fingers there, a light touch that keeps passing back and forth over your ankle bone.
You circle your fingers across your clit more insistently, your legs tensing as the pleasure mounts higher. Ten’s lips part as he watches you, a heavy breath escaping from his chest. The hand on your ankle slides higher up your leg, just below your thigh, like he wants to slide his fingers into the mix and take over, but he doesn’t make a move to do so just yet.
Finally, Ten reaches under your skirt to pull your sticky panties off, sliding them slowly down your legs and leaving them somewhere on the floor. You want him to touch you again, the brush of his hands against your hips not enough, but he doesn’t grant your desire. “Keep going,” he says, leaning back on his hands, and you can see he’s growing hard.
You bring your hand back to its original place between your thighs, sliding through the wetness more easily and shuddering when your fingertips graze over your clit. You slide a finger into yourself then. A small moan slips out, and you close your eyes, but Ten’s fingers pinch your chin—not enough to hurt, but the sudden touch makes you look at him. “Keep your eyes open.” His thumb presses into your lower lip, and he stares at your mouth for a moment like he’s imagining sliding something hard and hot between your lips.
Ten kisses you on the lips again, and this time he trails the kisses down your body until he’s gripping your thighs on either side of his face. You pause in your movements when he reaches the junction of your thighs, and you watch as he grabs your hand and slips your finger out of yourself. He sucks the slick digit into his mouth, and you cannot tear your eyes away from him.
He lets your hand go and pulls you a few inches closer to his face, dragging you across the bed, and you can barely get your bearings back to sit up again when he slips his tongue through your lower lips. You moan, and he responds to that by repeating it again, catching your clit between the split in his tongue, and wiggling both sides.
“Oh Jesus...oh fuck.” Your hands go to Ten’s hair, pulling on it as you push your hips closer to his mouth, your back curving up. He is alluring tucked between your thighs like this, teasing and sucking your clit with his split tongue and prodding his fingers at your hole until he chooses to slide two of them inside.
His free hand keeps you close against his face as he eats you out, that wondrous tongue sliding against the most sensitive part of your body and making you gasp with boundless pleasure. Little droplets of moisture bead at the corners of your eyes from how good it feels, your stomach tensing and releasing as you try your best to keep still.
He has to keep his grip on your body tight when you come, as you try to squirm away from his tongue because of how stimulated you are. He only lets you go after he’s satisfied himself with licking up all the wet that’s spilled from you.
Then he strips your skirt off for you, because he knows you’re not quite in a state to do it for yourself right now. He peels the rest of your clothes off similarly, which doesn’t take much time or effort to do; you’ve dressed lightly for the weather.
Ten looks at you lying beneath him on the bed, his gaze stuck somewhere between awe and lust. 
He slips out of his own clothes with a certain practiced ease. Yes, he’s really blue everywhere. He looks mostly human-like everywhere, too, except for the lack of a belly button. 
Ten kisses you deeply as he slips into you, and you clutch at his sides. He tries to keep his pace slow at first, maybe for your sake or to just savor how it feels, but he gives into the feeling of you squeezing around him and starts thrusting into you faster. There is already sweat sliding down to his jaw, though you think it might be because of the heat, too.
“Fuck, you feel so good,” comes out of you in a voice you hardly recognize as your own.
His pelvis sliding against your clit from the proximity of your bodies makes you curl your fingers into the strands of his hair, wanting to touch every part of him you can. His lips go to the sweat-slicked skin of your shoulder, leaving little wet kisses behind as he wraps an arm around your waist and simply fucks into you, his shaft dragging against your walls.
He eventually separates himself from your neck, though it comes with some effort, to gaze at your face again. However, he finds that your eyes have drifted shut.
“Do you wanna come?” Ten asks, softly, gently, like you might break apart if he speaks too loud.
You’re a little winded from how he’s thrusting into you and can’t yet see the motive behind this question—because of course you do—but you answer with a shaky “I-I want to.”
“Then don’t look away from me.” His voice becomes harsher on these words.
“I…” Your lips move without any real words behind them as he thrusts into you harder, sinking all the way into you before pulling out to the tip. You want do what he’s just told you, but you find it difficult with the way he’s intent on burying himself into you, his eyes piercing into your own. “Mmm, I-I…”
You don’t know if you can, but the way he’s kindling your rising heat with each thrust makes you want to try very, very hard. Ten keep his hands on the sides of your face so you cannot look anywhere but at him.
The pleasure bears down on you more with each second, and you try to keep your breathing steady as another climax approaches.
“You’re almost there, come on baby,” he coaxes you, sloppily kissing the corner of your mouth before slipping his tongue in again. The way you gasp against his lips and tighten around him signals him to your orgasm, and he sits back to watch it play across your face, smirking at how you moan his name desperately.
Ten’s continued thrusts make you shiver from the flood of sensations overcoming your body, and you whimper at his movements until he pulls out and comes on your abdomen.
Ten gives you time to recover after you come down from your second orgasm, though he makes sure to lay a few more enamored kisses on your weakened body. He gets off the bed and exits the room after that. You don’t bother to ask where he’s going, because you know he’ll be back anyway.
When Ten comes back, he has his camera with him. The teasing tilt of his lips never leaves his face as he points it towards you. He takes a photo of you lying on his bed nude, with the breeze coming in and rustling the tree leaves and your hair, your skin shining bronze under the light of the eternal star. Then he comes closer, making the bed sink under his weight, and nudges your legs apart. He takes more photos of your lower stomach glistening with sweat and his cum—and photos of him sliding his slender fingers between your thighs and bringing you careening into another bout of euphoria.
The camera is soon forgotten after you come again. Ten climbs fully back onto the bed now and pulls you into his lap. His dick is hard again, and the length of it nudges against your lower lips, making you whimper from how sensitive you still are. He shushes you with a kiss and lifts your hips so he can slide into you, his shaft nudging that soft spot inside you and making you grip onto his arms.
You’re too mushy and dazed to do anything but let him push his hips up into you while you cling to him, your head lolling back. Ten’s mouth goes to the open expanse of your neck, and he wets your skin with his tongue.
The kaleidoscope of shapes above you on the ceiling morphs into one glistening reflection, throwing the blurred shapes of your bodies back to you. It’s like looking through a dense fog. You’re a little caught off guard by it, and you stare up at your nude forms. Ten looks up as well to see the cloudy figure of you cradled in his lap, and he only grins and thrusts up into you harder and smacks your ass in reply.
He grinds into you while he has you sitting full on his dick, and you think he must have set off your internal “reset” button somewhere between landing slaps on your ass and repeatedly hitting your g-spot. Your mind is blissfully, amazingly blank. The only clear thing you can distinguish is how he feels in and around you.
When you come this time, it comes with a gush of wetness that makes Ten whisper several smug praises into your ear for being such a good girl and making a mess on him.
As you quickly find out, Ten’s refractory period seems to be nonexistent, while his stamina is overflowing.
Ten knows how to mix the pain with pleasure in a way that enhances both feelings, and you don’t know if you’ve ever experienced anything more perfect. One moment, he’ll say something romantic and fairytale-like to you before shoving your head into the pillow and taking you from behind in the next moment, pulling one of your arms behind you for leverage as he thrusts into you hard. You want him to do whatever he desires to you, and so you let him hammer into you until you think your hips and ass will be bruised by the next morning.
You’ve never knew that sex could be so carnal and so loving at the same time, but this is all of those things, and it makes you feel so full that you could split at the seams. You scream, cry, and moan more times than you can count, so enveloped by pleasure that it seems like the atoms of your body will simply dissolve from the intensity.
When you both finally become too exhausted to continue, it’s still daytime. Of course. But Ten draws the blackout shade forward and seals all the light out, and so you know it must be time to sleep. Time blends together here. Even if it’s not yet the midnight hour, it will be as long as you deem it so.
“Come here,” he says, and rolls you over on the bed so you don’t have to sleep in the wet spot. You grin in sleepy amusement against his neck as he hugs you to his body. “Let’s stay right here.”
You know he’s talking about sleeping for the next few hours, but you can also imagine he’s referring to your new life—one you’ll create together.
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writterings · 3 years
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In light of the new Owl House episode, I have some THOUGHTS about its excellent writing.
So, first things first, I wanna state something that everyone knows but we also kinda forget sometimes; TOH is a kid's show. Yeah, yeah, that's obvious. But also, that GREATLY impacts its writing. However, it also balances this type of writing PERFECTLY with the adult perspective on the world which ultimately does make it great for all ages. And "Yesterday's Lie" is the ULTIMATE example of this.
Luz's story fits the typical isekai plotline - but it also is an example of what real-life kids in Luz's positions want. Like think about her life in the first episode - she had no friends, she wanted adventure and fantasy and magic, and her mom and she weren't seeing eye to eye. She then got whisked away to a magical realm full of adventures, magic, friends (and a girlfriend!), and a mother figure who tries hard to understand her and loves the fact that they're both weirdos. The Boiling Isles is heaven for Luz, just because it's fulfilling all her wants and needs that she wasn't getting in the human world.
As someone who is going into the professional writing field and spends a lot of time in and out of class thinking about writing rhetoric, I've taken one or two classes about writing children's stories/media. And, obviously, children's media is written differently than adult media -- but specifically in the idea of values. Kids value different things than adults because of their perspectives on the world. Hell, the whole reason "whisked away to a magical fantasy world" is so popular in kids' media is because so many kids find themselves in that position in wanting that to happen to them. I sure as hell did when I was Luz's age.
Stories like these essentially are wish fulfillment for kids. And since they are wish fulfillment, that typically means that more real-life concepts such as abandoning family, missing the "real world", or any negative consequences are either conveniently written out in a satisfying way or are left out entirely. (Think how in Harry Potter, he's able to escape the "real" world without negative consequences because his family's abusive.)
(Also, fuck JKR btw but just using this example because this is the example we used in my one children's lit class.)
And what I'm about to say next also explains further how TOH is wish fulfillment, but it starts as a bit of tangent first. Just bear with me, it'll make sense.
Anyways, I've seen a few MP100 posts around that praise the show for having an adult "step in" and tell the child protag that they don't have to fight the villains because they're just a kid. And to me, that shows how MP100 is an adult-focused media -- because a piece of children's media would NEVER do something like that. That's not to say that children's media encourages kids to do dangerous stuff that harms themselves, but it's just not appealing to kids. Kids want to be the ones going on adventures and saving the day. They want to be treated with respect and be trusted as capable as the adults around them. And who can blame them? We all want that - it's just that kids hardly get ANY respect or autonomy. That's why kid's media where the kids are allowed to fight, be the chosen one, or go on adventures is so normal and popular: it's what kids want!
And that, again, is how TOH is wish fulfillment. Luz is allowed to go on adventures, do dangerous and stupid things, and she still kicks ass! Sure, Eda might express concern for her or say she doesn't want her doing something dangerous -- but Eda trusts Luz and is never angry when she goes someplace dangerous (think how she acted in "Separate Tides" when she found out Luz was also there in the cave).
So, ultimately, this is all how TOH's writing reflects its status as a children's show. Which is totally fine! And it's brilliantly written!
But as for the more adult-focused parts of its writing -
To state again, adults value different things in media than kids do. We (since I'm an adult) typically do want to see the more nuanced and darker side of things. We want the complexity. We want subversion of genre. We also want things that reflect our experiences. And TOH does this by addressing realistic negative consequences.
Camilla was upset that Luz left her. She cried and got mad, and even asked the questions of "Were you trying to live out some witch fantasy? Did you hate living with me that much?"
This is a genre subversion because we usually don't get this kind of confrontation in a kid's show. Typically, our plucky young protag who chooses to stay in another world faces no negative consequences for this choice (except for Marcy in Amphibia but for different reasons lol). But here Luz is, watching as her mother cries all because of her choices. It's not explicitly adult and tbh isn't mature - but it's still a level of nuance and character complexity we don't typically get in a kid's show/media. Honestly, it's most likely that adults are the ones identifying with Camilla instead of Luz in this situation - even if we don't have kids. Camilla, essentially, feels abandoned and rejected by her daughter. While some kids might be able to sympathize, it's probably mostly adults (and older teens) who have been through similar situations and emotions. And, in that, shows how TOH can also appeal to audiences in a more "adult" way as well.
But, despite that, it's still not a polarizing scene. It may frustrate some kids watching (or even teens/adults who identify strongly with Luz), but ultimately Camilla's words and actions are still understandable. She's not being evil or mean; she's just hurt. And that's clear! Even Luz sees it! But it doesn't harm the narrative appeal of the show being kids' wish fulfillment because Camilla can't do anything to take Luz away from her amazing life in the Boiling Isles. While she did make Luz promise to find a way back and to stay for good, she ultimately has no power to do anything. The status quo of the show is not changed and it is still wish fulfillment -- though, now, it just has some complexity added to the situation, plot, and characters.
In that sense, the scene where Camilla confronts Luz can still appeal to kids and doesn't make the show unenjoyable for them despite it being a more "adult-focused" scene. Sure, it adds complexity, but it's a type that kids can understand.
And that, basically, is just brilliant writing. It's such a perfect balance of adult and kid-focused,m and the writers definitely understand the values that both children and adults have when approaching media. TOH is definitely one of the best-written cartoons of this decade, and I'm so glad it exists.
Anyways, here's my essay. Thanks for reading if you got this far!
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writingwithcolor · 3 years
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Elderly Black man with autism and anxiety
@xcherry-popx asked: 
I have a Black man in my story. Some main features of him include 1) being an older (60+?) man and 2) being rather nervous (and likely having anxiety). I've also considered him having autism, but I wanted to handle the anxious aspect first since it will be more prominent.
when creating him, I started out with the idea of an anxious older man and then decided on race. I'm still working on how his anxiety tends to manifest, but my current thoughts include some anger (not violence) and self-soothing in ways like running his hands through his hair. [autism + anxiety is ownvoices]
my main concerns are that:
     A) having his anxiety manifest in anger could be seen as an Angry Black Man, even if he doesn’t hurt anyone (this is in a story where there are some incidents where someone is attacked by someone else, so its not as if his anger is being toned down for the audience)
    B) his anxiety-autism could be seen as infantilizing him (its not immediately obvious, and he is seen as a father figure by many of the other characters. he will probably mostly grow stronger on his own rather than relying on the rest of the cast [if he does use their help, its more indirect, such as someone’s courage inspiring him or another nervous character working through their problems together])
I haven't heard a whole lot about 'weak’ (used very loosely here) Black man stereotypes, but i wanted to double-check since i know i dont have a whole lot of experience
Do you think he may come across as an 'infantilized Black man’ stereotype, or to a lesser extent, an 'Angry Black Man’ stereotype?  
[ask trimmed due to length]
The possibility that he’s undiagnosed 
Depending on the context of the story, it wouldn’t surprise me if his autism and anxiety went undiagnosed (mental health can be a taboo among some Black communities). So one of the questions is : does he know or not ? 
Dealing with emotions / how he handles things
Also it’s hard to deal with really strong feelings, sometimes irrational when you don’t know why you react like that. Being undiagnosed could explain his anger. But judging by his age, he could have learned to live with it ? We don’t know his personality and his life so it’s hard to tell.
Also, I don’t see anything wrong with not being strong or just having weaknesses. It’s human. You just have to take your character’s past into consideration when writing about it, but the rule for the story is that he must evolve. It doesn't mean he should finish entirely strong, without any weaknesses. It’s all about change and being a better person (or not, it depends on your themes and the message you want to convey). 
He hates being helped ? He learns to accept it and ask for help when needed. This is evolving. He could also find a relieving practice to sooth his anger, or that helps him control his emotions. This is evolving too. Or it could get worse, he could totally close up to the others because of the frustration of not being understood, of feeling weak for needing help. That’s life. He’s old and sometimes, people just stop trying. But again, I don’t know what your story is about so I can’t tell you if you should go towards a positive or negative character’s arc. Just remember : it’s all about his evolution.
Anyway, there’s only one thing that will probably prevent you from falling into stereotypes : make him as human as you can, with all his qualities and flaws.
- Mod Lydie
First of all, I second everything Lydie said, especially that first paragraph.
Undiagnosed (potentially) & coping
Being able to write part of this character from experience will be helpful, but you noticed correctly, being a Black man on top of that does have an impact. Like Lydie mentioned, he could easily have gone undiagnosed. There is a taboo in some Black communities, but keep in mind misdiagnoses and lack of professional support can happen as well. Though there are great psychologists out there, there are also those who will be influenced by racial prejudices, who simply won’t take people seriously, and Autism is still poorly understood outside of stereotypes a lot as well.
Going undiagnosed or even just a late diagnosis really impacts a lot of one’s experiences growing up and how you see yourself. It could be another deeply influential part of his identity that mixes things up again so do keep in mind if this is the case for him. Especially when he’s reached 60+, comorbid is very common aside from the anxiety (depression and C-PTSD come to mind). Not that you need to put those in there, especially because it really depends on his background and direct support group, but something to keep in mind as you further flesh your character out.
At such an advanced age one will probably have learned to mask a lot (though a turn to masking less can be seen in older people, especially men, as well). They might have grown used to being different, including feeling misunderstood, frustrated, could become withdrawn or a people pleaser as a coping mechanism, but all of this is all highly dependent on their character as well as their experiences. 
Dealing with his anger & stereotypes 
Thinking outside of the box of how anger can manifest could help as well. Sometimes people express their anger in less obvious ways, or the anger could be hidden under a secondary emotion. His anxiety and Autism will probably be affected by each other as well. Like sensory overload coming hand in hand with anxiety attacks of one leading to the other.
Your concern for having him turn into or interpreted as an angry Black man stereotype is something to look out for. Make sure you fully develop his character, show him to be multifaceted, and give him agency.
I personally don’t see how he’d be seen as infantilized as you described him in your concern B paragraph. It sounds to me like he’s doing to opposite, trying to be hyper self-reliant, but yeah, depending on how you let his anxiety and autism manifest, it could be an issue. It’s hard to really say a lot more than this without more specifics.
Characterization 
To me, this character comes across as one who could have a lot of depth and complexity to him. He would be flawed, he would be interesting, could easily be made relatable as well. But as you guessed, it will take work, care and research to pull him off without falling into potential pitfalls. Having weaknesses and having your character grow is a good thing (and mentioning for anyone who needs to hear it: Autism and Anxiety are in itself not character flaws or weaknesses, but they can lead to someone manifesting them). This is not only due to the stereotypes, but also because there’s not that much rep out there and you will be battling against ingrained biases and stigma as well. 
That said, this is the type of character I always look forward to reading. 
- Alice
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mybg3notebook · 3 years
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Does Gale love Mystra?
So far in EA, we have been shown that this is complicated to answer: human love is complex as well as the delirious lore of Forgotten Realms. 
Disclaimer Game Version: All these analyses were written up to the game version v4.1.104.3536 (Early access). As long as new content is added, and as long as I have free time for that, I will try to keep updating this information. Written in June 2021.
The number between brackets [] represents the topic-block related to (this post), which gathers as much evidence as I could get.
The narrative is clear until the party scene which, as I stated many times across these posts, it's a scene that feels a bit inconsistent for me (reasonable since it's EA). But if we follow what the game explicitly shows us, we know that if we send Gale to sleep at the beginning of the Weave scene in which he is watching the incantation with the shape of Mystra, he will say: 
Gale: Long days, yes. And long, lonesome nights.
If Tav knows that the incantation on his palm is Mystra, Gale will explain:
Tav: [insight] You don't have that look on your face when you're looking at “no one” / There's more to it than that. The figure I saw: she means something to you. Gale: [...] I can’t quite describe it, the need I sometimes feel to see her – to draw the filaments of fantasy into existence. [...]
Dev's notes: Passionate. [...] He was recalling Mystra as a lover, but doesn’t say that out loud. [...] Narrator: The Weave evaporates, and as it does so, you realise the night feels suddenly cold and lonesome.
This allows us to infer that, at this moment, Gale is feeling alone and probably very anxious with the oppressing feeling of the "orb" in his chest. The tadpole only increased the number of problems he has, so he resorts to seeing Mystra melancholically. We notice later in the Weave Scene that not having Mystra around increases this feeling of loneliness. The whole scene seems to give us the idea that he still loves her. There is yearning and loneliness in his current situation.
After a moment of passionate description of magic, Gale invites Tav to experience the Weave. The Weave has a particular effect on Gale: "The moment feels intimate. You realise the Weave is making you one." Considering how Gale was feeling while conjuring the incantation, this moment touched him deeply (the narrator implies that this feeling is mutual).
If Tav expresses their romantic interests, Gale will be surprised:
Gale: I.. I didn’t think.. Narrator: You perceive quick-fire gusts of embarrassment, trepidation, and finally.. elation Gale: Sorry, I wasn’t expecting… But it is a pleasant image to be sure! Most pleasant, in fact. Most welcome. Dev's notes: Warm, with real affection.
The narrator is giving us meta-knowledge, we can trust in what she says, and we can see that the situation was truly shocking for Gale. These emotional stages described here made me suspect that Gale is a character who has focused for too long on healing his condition, ignoring any chance for romance. His surprise here may confirm that, in my opinion. He feels embarrassment, a feeling that one can interpret as a sign of the surprise of being thrown into a situation he had not seen beforehand (the death protocol and Gale’s conversations show us that he is a character that thinks ahead). It follows trepidation: fear or anxiety about something that he is going to do or experience. Gale is scared of the possibility. Maybe because he is thinking in the danger he is, maybe because he was already burnt by Mystra's attention and having someone else's attention now makes him feel a bit anxious. And then, the final resolution of the process: elation, which is a feeling of great happiness and excitement about something that has happened. Gale is suddenly excited by the possibility. Something he will be thinking about, many times, for the rest of the EA. 
Tav: So what did you think about what I pictured when we were connected by the Weave? Gale: Oh, I was surprised. But pleasantly so, just like I said. Amid the madness that has befallen us, it seems almost out of place to think of a kiss/ of a romantic walk. And yet... now more than ever, it's important to recall what makes us human. [if Tav is not human] Well- you know what I mean. A stolen glance- that sudden heartbeat... Sometimes the little things are worth more than kingdoms. They promise things to come.
So romance was not something he had even considered until the opportunity arose (this is why he won't pursue a Tav who didn't show romantic interest towards him). I think that, since he is a character always living on the edge of death, he will take this opportunity to feel “human again”: after all, he follows the concept of "living life to the fullest".
During the Loss (see the post of the "Loss Scene"), we know that losing Mystra was a big blow for him. He regrets his decisions of the past in this scene, and it reinforced the idea that he is the only one to blame for Mystra's loss. There is a yearning for the lost Chosen powers, but Gale's context in the majority of his scenes seem to reinforce the idea that he sought power not as a means, but as a goal itself to be closer to Mystra and Magic. Since we are talking about a wizard, his passion lies in magic itself, in being one with the Weave/Magic/Mystra. A Chosen of Mystra is so entangled with the Weave and magic that when they die, they are part of the Weave itself. This is the level of passion that Gale has for Magic, and since Magic can only be performed by most mortals via Weave, and the Weave is Mystra, the whole three concepts are, in fact, one; and it makes it very difficult from a lore point of view to separate them. 
Tav: There's something I don't understand. If Mystra abandoned you, how can you still cast magic? Gale: The Weave is still here, all around us – inside of us too. As long as the goddess lives, magic is a tangible thing for those who know how to touch. I've studied magic for many years, and in as many ways I am still a more than capable wizard. It's just that I'm no longer able to perform those feats even arch wizards would marvel at. To have one hand on the pulse of divinity. You have to remember that the Weave is a living thing, both the embodiment and the extension of Mystra herself.She can give and she can take away. I'm afraid I'm still very much on her naughty list. Consider yourself lucky you're not. 
I personally think Gale will never stop being devoted to Mystra (and won't stop loving her in many ways), because his passion for magic and knowledge is his own life, and Mystra IS those things. He loves magic for the sake of it. So losing this unique contact with magic itself that only Chosen of Mystra have was a terrible punishment for him. His abandonment issues are not just the result of a “guy being left by a girl”. They have an extra complexity because of the nature of Magic in this world and how its deity behaves with her chosen. Gale was not only abandoned by Mystra, but was also removed of a good amount of his capacity to perform magic. If magic “is his life”, the abandonment removed a part of his life away. I think some people miss this point, because, once more, it's related to Forgotten Realm lore and not Dragon Age. Many of these people keep constantly comparing this situation with Dragon Age, which has nothing to do with it. Dragon Age has no wizards, their relationship with Magic is natural, it’s sorcerer-like if we want to compare it, and the relationship with their deities (mostly absent, silent ones) are nothing alike the ones in Forgotten Realm. The context is key, as I repeated several times in these posts and in the one about "Context, persuasion, and manipulation". 
Tav: I don't know what to make of what you've told me, but I sympathise. Gale: Thank you. [no romantic weave] I want you to know that you’re a good friend. [romantic weave] I often think of that moment we shared together – one under the Weave. I hope you think about it too. /I'm glad to know you think about it too.
Narrator: You sense a moment of unspoken affection. You want to know where it may lead. Gale: I consider myself very lucky to have found you Tav: I think perhaps we could be more than friends Gale: Perhaps. 
Tav: You said you think about the moment we shared under the weave. Do you think about it often? Gale: Do you? 1-2-Tav: Yes / From time to time. Gale: So do I. 3- Tav: Not really. Gale: And yet you ask. I do, as a matter of fact.
Gale: You see. I'm not a big believer in fate, but I do believe in serendipity. Life is a tempest of events that sometimes we brace against and sometimes embrace. You're one such event that one day soon perhaps I'd like to embrace.
So after sharing this regret during the Loss scene, Gale will show affection if Tav remains friendly during the Weave (but Gale will never directly engage it, he is waiting for Tav to give the first step; understandable if we consider he also has a dangerous bomb in his chest, so he may be torn between wanting to, but knowing he should not to). If there is no interest in pursuing romance, he will show a gesture of gratitude for being a good friend during that night of regrets. 
If pursuing the romance, we can interpret that Gale, at this point, even though he is still struggling with all the emotions that Mystra inspires, wants to experience something more “human”, a romance with a mortal. We know for sure that Gale is getting interested, slowly, while thinking about it, since in each of the following scenes he will ask (or Tav will ask) about that “moment in the Weave”. He has been thinking about it for many nights, and he is “embracing” the idea. 
If Gale is treated with judgement (despite not knowing his whole story) or allowing him to keep the secret of what or who he lost, we will obtain lines likes:
Gale: Good. Goodnight. And thank you for your patient understanding. // And try not to think too poorly of me. A cat can look at a king. A wizard can look at a goddess.
Tav: Another fool pays for his arrogance. A tale as old as time. Gale: Arrogance? Ambition, rather. And ambition is a fine thing – until suddenly it no longer is. Then again, if that is how you judge me, there’s little I can do to change your mind. But know that I have this ambition still. First to save myself, and after that, the licence to dream. (Gale Disapproval)
We could interpret these lines as the only ones so far that may suggest that Gale is still wanting something from the goddess. We know due to the tadpole dreams that Gale’s desire is Mystra. On the comments of the second tadpole dream we know more details about his major desire: it is not just Mystra, but her forgiveness.
Tav: Gale, who is the apparition in your dreams? Gale: She's... It doesn't matter. I just know her to be unreal. Tav: What's impossible about what you're been shown? Gale: Forgiveness Tav: Gale, who is the apparition in your dreams? Gale: It's indeed Mystra I see. And yet it cannot be her. There was a time when I would have believed - but no longer. I told you that I lost her. Lost her favour and lost so many of the powers I took for granted. What magic I can still weave is met only with undercurrents of disappointing silence. Mystra has not changed her mind about me. That's how I know our dreams are delusions.
I think this scene shows the difference between a standard desire for power as a means, and power for the sake of power itself (since this power allows Gale to be one with the Weave). The scene is ambiguous enough to see it as Gale wanting to return to Mystra’s side as well as remaining as an ardent devotee of her (because she is magic herself). I keep repeating that these scenes show that Gale’s most important thing in his life is Magic, which is Mystra: the extension and the embodiment of magic. So his desire for her seems impossible to be extinguished completely. In previous scenes we saw that he certainly had thought through the idea of loving her more like a devotee than a lover, but certainly the weight of being his first love will remain, especially since she is deeply related to magic itself.
During the Party Scene we find some information about his feelings for Mystra. 
I personally ponder the book of Amn’s description as very important because, from a narrative point of view, it's a lot of lines/content that, if they were not important, tend to be removed from the script. If they are there, they are meant to be interpreted. For this reason those lines mean to me that Gale has finally embraced the idea of having something important with a mortal. In my post of the "Party Scene" I go into details, but here I will stick to the interpretation related to Mystra: all what Gale numerates in that book are things that he could not access to with a Goddess. Curiously, part of those descriptions are things that make humans human, so I personally think it reinforces Gale's intention in heading into this romance with the eagerness of finding some shelter (never forget the “orb” has a constant oppressing effect in him, increasing his anxiety and fears) and to experience (maybe for the first time) the love of a mortal.
So, for some assumptions made in the post of the "Party Scene", we suspect that Gale needs to share a night to feel confident enough to speak the details of his “orb” condition. Since he wants this relationship to be strong (after all, he implied commitment during the description of the book) he speaks about the true origin of the “orb” immediately after that night, starting with Mystra (which is, after all, the true origin of his folly). Depending on the version that Tav picks, we have extra information provided by Gale about his emotions for the Goddess:
Tav: What did Mystra’s attention feel like? Gale: Love. Perhaps it was not quite love, but you see, the wizard was but a very young man. It was most certainly love to him. [...] One day all too soon, the whispers stopped. The goddess spurned the mortal. [...] and the wizard was left behind heartbroken. Tav: I hate to say it, but he really could have seen this coming Gale: He was blinded by love. Good stories are rife with lovers’ follies after all.
[Short Version] Gale: Before long Mystra tired of me. What was I after all but a mortal plaything in sacred hands? You have to realise I was heartbroken. I was a young man, she was my first love. I thought it would last forever. I vowed to win her back.
[after explaining the mistake of the “orb”] Gale: It is this folly that led Mystra to abandon me completely. I can only hope you won’t abandon me as well. After all we’ve been through.. After the night we spent together. Surely we can brave even this side by side
Gale is giving a very detailed context about his love for Mystra: she was his first love, and the first love tends to have a special weight in a person's life and their memories. That doesn't mean the person has become unable to build more relationships for the rest of their life. If we add the fact that he was very young when all this happened (more details in the Post "Gale Hypotheses- Part 1") we find him under two effects: the impression of the first love and the naivety of the youth. Both elements made him believe it was a love that was going to last forever. With a Goddess, no less.
Besides, Gale expresses this, highlighting his naivety and foolishness: he is aware of how silly he was back then, and how impossible it could be for a mortal to keep the love of a goddess. He is a pragmatic and realistic character, after all. He recognizes in the end that he was just a mortal plaything for her. 
I think these pieces of information give us a very clear context of his emotional state: he is still nostalgic for Mystra because of all the reasons I enumerated above; she is also more than just a woman, she is Magic itself. But he is aware that those emotions were the consequence of a very naïve and young self that has awakened by the burden of his own mistakes. There is also a reinforcement of “forever”, which recalls the concept of commitment that Gale pursues so much in his romance: he is not there just for the sex “intimacy”, he is there for serious commitment, maybe because he doesn't want to experience another abandonment. After all, we are talking about a character with a profile that shows abandonment issues (see the post of "Gale Hypotheses- Part 1", section: "Abandonment Issues")
[If rejected] Tav: No. This is too large a betrayal. GALE: I see. I am sorry. I am sorry that it had to come to this. All that’s left to say is farewell. Dev’s notes: hurt but understanding Gale: Farewell. (Leaves) Dev’s notes: A slight hesitation, hurt but understanding. He makes a polite little bow, then we see him walk away.
[If accepted] Gale: I don’t know what I did to deserve the magic that you do. 
Despite being terribly cheesy, this last line shows that Gale was more than convinced that Tav would abandon him because he doesn’t deserve Tav. This is why he doesn't put up much fight if Tav chooses to tell him to leave. He will try to make Tav listen to his story, and once it's done, the verdict will fall and he will accept it. He learnt his lesson with Mystra. This line also shows how everything important around Gale is or has to be worded with magic, even a silly metaphor like this is related with the word “magic”: Tav's acceptance is like magic. For him, as important and good as magic itself.
As if that were not enough, after the scene there is a comment in which Gale will reinforce his gratitude for Tav's acceptance:
Tav: If you ever feel the netherese magic overtaking you, what will you do? Gale: If it should ever come to that... if I ever know I am no longer able to stop it... I will do anything I can to ensure no one but me pays for my mistakes. I will find the remotest place on the surface of Faerûn, or perhaps far below in the depths of the Underdark. I will await that death alone. [*] I promise I will not betray your trust... You kept me by your side despite the menace that I am. If worst comes to worst, I will be gone long before the curtain falls.  [*] If romanced, Gale will say here "I cherish you."
Which makes me suspect that Gale can disappear at any moment (in full game) if for some game mechanics we are unable to get magical artefacts but the deal with Raphael did not happen (if that’s even possible). But that's just me speculating. Nothing in EA seems to suggest this. What i's clear is that acceptance—that strong concept in the book he put so much emphasis on—is really important to him, so he shows gratitude for that: he promises to protect Tav (and many innocents) from his own mistake. He also says pretty soon an equivalent of “I love you”, in a more formal/meaningful way: “to cherish” is not just to love, but to care/protect as well. 
Finally, in case someone lost those hints, or maybe as a consequence of this unpolished scene, we have a direct question with a direct answer:
Tav: Gale, are you still in love with Mystra? Gale: I’ll be honest with you; I don’t know. She is my muse still, the embodiment of magic, but the embodiment of love? Only if we ever meet again will I know
Gale simply says what we have been inferring so far with all the previous information: Gale reinforces the idea that he will remain as a strong, loving devotee of Mystra, because she is magic. I personally don't even consider it possible to remove that love from him. He may not be a cleric, but he loves his deity as one. But he also learnt his lesson that loving gods has its own dire consequences for mortals. He is very aware of it during the discussion about Karsus:
Tav: Nothing good ever comes from mortals wanting to be gods. 
Gale: Loving them has its side effects as well. Now, so many centuries later, I tried to follow in the footsteps of Karsus, not to destroy Mystra, but to prove my love for her. It tried to control only a fraction of the magic that was unleashed that fateful day. I merely sought to return one tiny diamond to an imperfect crown. Gale's Folly one might call it. History. Repetition. It's the way things go.
Once more, there is no scene where Gale doesn't reinforce that what he did was a mistake, a foolish action, a Folly. 
Finally, if talking about a previous lover immediately after awakening with a new one was of poor taste, Gale acknowledges this, giving an honest apology:
Gale: Before we go on though, do first let me apologise. To share such a night with you only to tell you of a previous lover the next morning... It wasn't the most gentleman-like behaviour. But I had to finally tell you. Silence would have been far worse behaviour still. Nevertheless, I am sorry.
He accepts any rude response or lash-out from Tav without approval penalties. This is an interesting meta-knowledge that speaks about owning up to his mistakes. Unlike the Loss scene, where rude responses made Gale disapprove because Tav was judging him without knowing the whole story [16], in this scene he doesn’t. Now Tav has the whole picture, and he accepts whatever reaction Tav shows. Of course he will approve a forgiving Tav, since Gale is a character very related to forgiveness [12, 12b].
Conclusion: 
So, answering the question that gives title to this section: yes. In my opinion, Gale loves Mystra. But it’s not a white-and-black love; it has the complexity of human love mixed with this crazy lore of deities in Forgotten Realms. I believe Mystra will always be part of Gale's life, because the Weave and magic are his life, and she is both. He will always love her as a devotee, even though he now understands the mistakes of his young self and seems more aware of how naive he was when he was a “very young man”. The comments on the second tadpole dreams explicitly show that what Gale wants the most is Mystra’s forgiveness, but at the same time, he knows that he does not deserve it. And this raw realistic view of himself is what makes him understand that those dreams are illusions. During the party scene he is uncertain about his emotions, but still he emphasises that there is a big chance for him to not see Mystra as the embodiment of love any more but reinforces that she will always be the embodiment of magic to him (a very important concept in his character design). 
Whether Gale is romanced or not, I don't see a difference in the information he shares on this matter in EA.
This post was written in June 2021. → For more Gale: Analysis Series Index
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cozycryptidcorner · 2 years
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Monster Match #13
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A monster match and super big thank-you to @sea-hag-dominion​ for being so awesome!
My name is Brooke, I'm in my late 20s. I've got curly blonde hair that I'm proud of! I'm about 5'4 and I've got a bunch of flower tattoos! I'm an ENFJ, and I would say I'm a very outgoing, happy go lucky person! My feelings can get hurt pretty easily, and I can hold a grudge, but I try hard to stay confident and not let people ruin my day. I adore reading!! Obviously monster smut is my favorite, but I read all across the genres! I also like to run (slowly) and go camping as much as possible. My favorite spot to be is where the forest meets the water, like the beaches at on the Great lakes! I love animals, especially kitties. I really enjoy metal music and cultivating houseplants. don't have tons of dislikes, but I don't like people who treat others poorly! Sexuality wise I'm attracted to men (unfortunately some days). I like pretty, long hair and guys who are nice to everyone and easy going, but still are assertive. I can be a pushover, so I like having someone in my life who can help me stand up for myself!
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The age-old question he tends to get more often than not is “what do selkies do?”
It’s loaded, mostly because of the secrecy surrounding his people, but asked from a place of curiosity rather that malicious information-digging. What do selkies do beneath the waves? How close are they to humans? Do they have tools? Do they create art? Everyone who is familiar with the legends will also know they have a deep love for dance and music, but he supposes that humans sense that’s just the tip of the cultural iceberg.
Yes, there’s a whole kingdom lurking somewhere beneath the waves, carved from volcanic rocks and dead coral with the skill of master craftsmen and architects. The structures are grand and intricate, built by a process that involves magic; opening up lava flows, guiding the melted rock upwards in grand, beautiful spires. Everything must be planned before construction, one structural error would not be easily fixed due to the intense nature of the lava free-flows. They can also make class through a combination of sand and crushed coral powders, magically charged to create windows that would rival the most beautiful of cathedrals on the surface.
Some of the rooms are fully underwater, with corridors working as a kind of jet stream to get from place to place quicker. Others have been drained, the convenience of thumbs not lost on the people of can turn into seals. Algae and moss that cling to the walls filter out the air, and runes shared by the neighboring Fishfolk help expedite the production of oxygen if the area is more crowded than usual.
Your selkie is one of the architect that designs spaces for the retreating merfolk, each species that lives beneath the waves shrinking further and further back from humanity’s reaches. There’s an intricate map showing the most frequently used channels, magic talismans set up to refract any sonar technology from sensing their kind beneath the waves. Not that their existence is a secret, it’s just better for most Fair Folk in general to avoid the problem of human curiosity. Also, imagine if Jeff Bezos tried to create underwater drop points to expand his Amazon empire. Imagine the pollution that would follow.
Your selkie is a touch adventurous, going to a human art school on a diversity scholarship. His family was a bit concerned because of how far away he would be from the rest of the group, but he was determined to try to figure out how to build structures that could exist both under the sea and above it. Since most Merfolk architects need to be weary of how the pressure of the water will react with the materials and shapes, especially since water has a habit of wearing through volcanic rock after prolonged periods of time.
He goes to a university in a beach town, so he always has access to the water. Also, just to be very cautious, he buries his sealskin out somewhere very private just in case someone tries stealing it. Even though most people wouldn’t, it’s best to prepare for the worst. Most people like him, but there’s this one fucker who doesn’t seem to like their flawless spotlight taken by someone with a more interesting life experience than them.
He’s good looking, devastatingly so. Despite the inherent nerdiness of his architecture, he’s got a bit of jock in him as well. Not to push the cliche of the Merfolk person enjoying surfing, but he does, and is good enough to compete in small contests. That’s how he gets a little spending money, since he’s dirt poor while working for his master’s degree. He works his ass off both academically and physically so he has the cash to eat at Chipotle when he wants (Chipotle is probably what he would miss most if he could never step foot on dry land again, to be honest).
Your selkie’s interests lie in shape and movement within his designs, always trying to push the materials of the sea further and further. He deeply admires the marriage between the organic and geometric shape types, and seems to hold a fascination with retro-futurism and solar punk designs. Wanting to create an environment of global unification throughout the species, he’s designing a type of oceanic research center that unites scientists from all walks of life. Since his people have already created environments where those who need to walk and breathe air can, while those who need to swim can.
That’s essentially what his master’s thesis is on. His eyes light up when he talks about it, eager to bounce ideas off anyone since all the nitty gritty needs to be ironed out. When he talks about ideas, he uses his whole body to articulate, wide, sweeping gestures for different concepts. He has so many ideas to help unify the people for the betterment of everyone- humans aren’t the only ones who pollute, there are plenty of Merfolk filled with greed and lust after power just the same.
He’s a bit of a dumbass- the kind of male who is so smart in so many ways but would lay down and cry because he can’t figure out how to turn the stove on. Sure, he can do insane calculations to make sure the surface pressure of his buildings can survive long-term without risk of collapse, but he doesn’t know how to boil an egg and at this point he’s afraid to ask. Google is his personal lord and savior, no matter how stupid the question, it always has his back. Still, there’s just some parts of life that a surface-dweller just knows and those born beneath the waves need to learn the hard way.
So in conclusion, selkies do a lot! Or at least, this particular selkie does. Sure, the occasional wild beach dancing orgy does happen, but they all have lives outside that. His sister is the equivalent of an undersea OB-GEN who has saved countless pregnant selkies when they were at high risk. His brother is a lawyer who handles small-claims. They all have deeply intricate lives outside the naked dancing on shorelines, just as your selkie does.
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sagamemes · 3 years
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the sheridan tapes  📼  part one.   here and under the cut, you can find a little under 120 lines of dialogue from the horror podcast the sheridan tapes, specifically from episodes one to three, edited for roleplay purposes.  tw: police, murder, supernatural elements, mentions of apocalyptic scenarios, near death experiences, injuries, vehicular crash, recreational drug and alcohol use.
❝  jesus, [name]. you’re not making this easy, are you?  ❞
❝  makes you wonder... do these things follow me because i chase them, or were they always following me?  ❞
❝  darkness and complete disorientation does a number on the human brain.  ❞
❝  i don't think he was a werewolf.  ❞
❝  i’d call it the customer service smile. you know, the one that says  ‘ thank you for shopping with us, please die now ’.  ❞
❝  i’ve found the more showy the text, the less impressive the actual phenomena.  ❞
❝  my job here is kind of… shaky at the moment.  ❞
❝  [name] was also engaged in the study of the impossible in his free time.  ❞
❝  so it’s just me who drives you up the wall then?  ❞
❝  well, you’ll be happy to hear i haven’t been having any fun. no weed, no ghosts.  ❞
❝  there hasn’t been a new lead on her case in more than half a year.  ❞
❝  so here i am, wrapped up in a blanket, staring at my little fireplace, so bored i actually decided to call my sister for once.  ❞
❝  it’s a little town near bandon. very little. nice little mini-market, and that’s about it.  ❞
❝  i doubt i’ll sleep much tonight. that’s okay. i just feel like looking at the stars for a while.  ❞
❝  it's probably for the best. i am simultaneously exhausted from the drive and absolutely wired from the coffee.  ❞
❝  i wonder if there will still be ghosts out there when that happens?  when the earth is gone?  ❞
❝  glad to hear you’re enjoying yourself, then.  ❞
❝  knowing doesn’t make things any easier, but it does make them a little less frightening.  ❞
❝  that’s all just a lazy way of saying that the real explanation is too difficult—or too horrible—for them to accept.  ❞
❝  it almost killed me, but in the end it settled for putting me in pt for a year while i figured out how to use my hands again.  ❞
❝  he muttered something about my time being up. or maybe he said it wasn’t up.  ❞
❝  i don’t really care that i didn’t get any writing done today.  ❞
❝  nothing. not a single idea worth writing down, no itch i needed to scratch or question i needed to answer.  ❞
❝  guess there really is no such thing as bad press.  ❞
❝  i have no idea what a writer’s  ‘ process ’  usually looks like, but i’m pretty sure it’s not this.  ❞
❝  see what i have to deal with?  god… siblings, am i right?  ❞
❝  what can i say?  i have a soft spot for gothic architecture.  ❞
❝  computers have never been very good at reconciling paradoxes.  ❞
❝  they’re pretty much over funding my little expeditions.  ❞
❝  that kind of smile doesn’t normally show that many teeth.  ❞
❝  you know, that’s only scary the first few times you do it.  ❞
❝  one day, it will be dead. one day all the stars will burn out, go dark and silent. one day, everything will be so dark and so cold that no new stars can ever be born. the old ones will blink out one by one, like candles going out, and then… nothing. silence. darkness. void.  ❞
❝  the simplest explanation is almost always the right one.  ❞
❝  i don’t remember getting in my van, putting the key in the ignition, or speeding away from that house, but i must have.  ❞
❝  no, no, i’m fine, i’m fine, just go bother someone else.  ❞
❝  i haven’t eaten, moved, or written anything all day.  ❞
❝  but maybe that's just the fact that it is two in the morning and my brain is running mostly on caffeine.  ❞
❝  given how good a [job] he is, i know it’s not the first time he’s done it.  ❞
❝  i escaped, but i knew that whatever was in that house has just marked me as prey.  ❞
❝  calm down. think. you’re just going to confuse yourself.  ❞
❝  just wanted to tell you a couple of us are headed out to marvin’s for drinks if you want to come.  ❞
❝  one of the most disappointing things about living in america is the lack of genuinely haunted houses. out of all the supposed haunts i’ve visited, maybe one in ten seems like the real deal.  ❞
❝  sounds… peaceful. not many distractions, then?  ❞
❝  something tells me this tape wasn’t played in court.  ❞
❝  one of the neighbours must have called 911.  ❞
❝  my infamous accident. it almost killed me.  ❞
❝  i just woke up to footsteps in the kitchen. i don’t know who, or what, but there’s someone in here with me!  ❞
❝  could you shut the door on your way out, please?  ❞
❝  uh, wasn’t expecting to hear from you so soon.  ❞
❝  the fire that i said went out?  yeah, it just started burning again.  ❞
❝  so i asked him to lie.  ❞
❝  it'd really be just a few of us. maybe me and [name] and one or two other tagalongs…  ❞
❝  apparently, the press had a lot of questions too.  ❞
❝  i’ve driven more than 8 hours and drunk enough bad coffee to give an elephant heart palpitations. i’m sure as hell going to get my money’s worth.  ❞
❝  oh sorry, am i bothering you now? what happened to  ‘ call anytime you want, [name] ’ or,  ‘ you’re always welcome here, [name] ’ ?  ❞
❝  i’ve forgotten to charge my phone. again.  ❞
❝  i… think i’m going to turn around now.  ❞
❝  well sorry if i wanted to have a nice talk with my sister for a change.  ❞
❝  will it just be left there forever? our legacy? look upon our works, ye mighty, and despair?  ❞
❝  no matter how far away from home you are, no matter how different the constellations might look from where you’re standing, you can always look up on a clear, dark night and feel like you’re about to fall right into it—the terrifying, endless expanse of nothingness.  ❞
❝  i know authors can do some crazy things to get out of writer’s block, but i’ve never heard of one resorting to arson.  ❞
❝  why do you always think there’s something wrong?  ❞
❝  ours is not to question why, ours is but to digitize and stay the hell out of trouble.  ❞
❝  so let’s try walking backwards. just keep an eye on it.  ❞
❝  i got lucky. or maybe i was just fast enough to escape.  ❞
❝  maybe there are secret passages behind the walls and corridors.  ❞
❝  no matter how far i walked, i couldn’t find the way i came in.  ❞
❝  well, i /know/ i’ve had worst nights. i just can’t think of any right now.  ❞
❝  i do want you to have fun, [name], i just don’t want you to get yourself killed doing it.  ❞
❝  i mean, obviously, i do care, that’s the whole reason i made this trip. to get away from the noise and focus.  ❞
❝  i might have… forgotten to tell anyone where i was going.  ❞
❝  before i get started, there’s just one thing i need to say. i have absolutely no patience for the unexplained, or the things people call  ‘ unexplainable ’,  ‘ supernatural ’, or  ‘ paranormal ’.  ❞
❝  i told [name] that i needed to get out, to get inspired.  ❞
❝  okay, if someone is messing with me, they’re going to be very sorry, very quickly.  ❞
❝  [name] lied his ass off to save yours.  ❞
❝  a crash like that does funny things to your head.  ❞
❝  i still don’t know how he got there without me noticing.  ❞
❝  any plans i had to travel abroad went up in smoke.  ❞
❝  i thought of pulling out the bad cop routine.  ❞
❝  strange how something so dead can be so beautiful.  ❞
❝  it hated me:  hated what i do, and more than that, hated who i am.  ❞
❝  lots of tall tales. and more than a few ghost stories.  ❞
❝  oh good, you’re still here!  ❞
❝  reviewers absolutely grilled it:  said it was a nonsensical rip off of the dark tower, whatever that means.  ❞
❝  i jumped out the window. cut my hands on the glass, but thankfully not bad enough to need stitches  ❞
❝  i told her, tonight.  ❞
❝  for a minute, i wondered if that would really be so bad. it was a fitting way to go, given my… well, everything.  ❞
❝  i suppose that’s a universal constant—maybe the only one.  ❞
❝  i never let myself get this turned around. especially not at night.  ❞
❝  i don’t know if it’s actually haunted. but if not, then it was sure as hell convincing.  ❞
❝  i’m not one of those people who thinks she’s the spawn of satan or something ridiculous like that.  ❞
❝  unless i’m prepared to accept that she was murdered by something that crawled out of a funhouse mirror, this isn’t much help with the case, either.  ❞
❝  i have to try and work some actual cases the rest of the time. you know, cases that might have some answers i can find.  ❞
❝  it's cold, damp, and dark as night. i'm in my element, at least.  ❞
❝  your place is waiting for you.  ❞
❝  yeah, i’m all good. great… hanging in there, you know?  one day at a time.  ❞
❝  oh, i see you. you think i’m still scared of [thing], huh?  think you can freak me out?  ❞
❝  trust me, i’ve had a hell of a day, and you do not want to mess with a pissed off…  ❞
❝  and tell my sister i'm sorry.  ❞
❝  oh god, it's cold.  ❞
❝  the night sky really is beautiful out here.  ❞
❝  tell him he shouldn’t have been such a good liar.  ❞
❝  i’ve been listening to this for the last two weeks now.  ❞
❝  it’s not even that i’m having bad ideas. i’m not having any at all.  ❞
❝  can’t get away from the work, no matter what i do.  ❞
❝  i made sure i switched off my phone before i came up here, just in case.  ❞
❝  god, these things smell of weed.  ❞
❝  yeah, well… just wanted to make sure you’re okay, you know?  ❞
❝  [name] is dead. that's all there is to it.  ❞
❝  no, i need to get out of here. it’s been a long day.  ❞
❝  a lot of the art i found was just paintings of a night sky full of stars.  ❞
❝  my job is to look the facts dead in the face and find an explanation. one that will hold up in a court of law.  ❞
❝  personal and career choices, i guess you’d call them.  ❞
❝  damn. i could’ve sworn i felt something strange about this place when i hiked through this morning… or maybe it was a different part. hard to tell this late at night, anyway.  ❞
❝  well, let’s just say a middle-aged man-child running out panicked and tearing at his eyes would hardly be a marketable image.  ❞
❝  i didn’t mind that i’d be alone—i always expected that to be how i went.  ❞
❝  i’m sure that’s on my personnel file by now, as if it could get any more problematic.  ❞
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sineala · 3 years
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A Few Thoughts About Hurt/Comfort
I have been asked this month to make a post about hurt/comfort in Avengers comics. And I love h/c -- I actually have a massive number of WIPs right now that are h/c -- so I am very happy to talk about it! Anyway, this is not really all that planned out and this mostly turned into an excursus on Tony Stark's pain. I'm sure you're all surprised.
Like pretty much everyone else, I'm sure, I have found that everything lately has been... pretty tough. And the coping mechanism that really got me through last year and this year was reading and writing a lot of h/c, on the theory that, however lousy a day I'm having, I can absolutely make sure that Tony Stark has a worse one. And then I can make sure he gets hugs. Wish fulfillment? Why, yes. (Once at Hallmark I was trying to find a "get well soon" card, forgot what it was called, and described it to my wife as "a hurt/comfort card.") I think Marvel Comics -- the Avengers side, in particular -- is an interesting canon for h/c for a lot of reasons. Though, honestly, if you asked me to recommend you, a hurt/comfort fan, a new fandom, I would probably just hand you some Starsky & Hutch DVDs. Go watch "The Fix" and get back to me later. If you like that, there's way more where that came from. But there's still lots to love in Marvel! Superhero comics are really a goldmine as far as the hurt side of h/c. Because superheroes, and you probably have noticed this, get hurt a lot. They get hurt repeatedly, in fantastical ways that are probably impossible in real life both physically and emotionally (at least, I don't think anyone's invented mind control yet), and even the heroes without superhuman healing powers tend to get physically hurt a whole lot worse than actual people can take. Currently in Iron Man comics, Tony has a broken back and is dealing with this by locking himself into the armor as a backboard and injecting himself with massive doses of painkillers. He's busy! He's got stuff to do! He doesn't have time to lie around and heal! So, basically, if you name a kind of pain that you would like to see happen to a character, it's probably happened to superheroes. Multiple times. The downside, though, is that comics do not really deliver that well when it comes to the comfort part of h/c. They could. It's not inherent to the medium that they don't. But because of the serial nature of comics and also the fact the primary audience is dudes who want to read about people in spandex punching each other, a lot of the time they don't really feel the need to provide closure and write about people dealing with any of the hurt. (Raise your hand if you're still annoyed with the end of Hickman's Avengers run.) But at the same time, I think that's a quality that makes Avengers ripe for h/c fanfic. Because, generally speaking, fandom likes to provide the things that canon doesn't, and fandom is more than happy to provide the comfort. If you enjoy canonical h/c in comics, I think you really can't go wrong with Iron Man. One of the big innovations of modern Marvel Comics was the concept that heroes would also suffer from relatable human problems, and in practice what this means is that a lot of heroes start with a fully-loaded angst-ridden backstory and origin story, ripe for h/c. So Tony starts out by incurring a heart injury that he fully expects is going to kill him, which he responds to by vowing he won't get close to anyone so they won't be sad when he dies, and throughout the early Silver Age is constantly on the brink of death as his heart nearly gives out on him practically every issue. And then even after his heart gets (mostly) better, there are various plots involving his armor being detrimental to his health and him choosing to fight on anyway. It's hard for me to think of another superhero hitting that particular variety of h/c in exactly the same way. Sure, superheroes risk their lives constantly, because this is how superhero comics work, but Tony is the only one I can think of who is this constantly this badly off, physically. Like, think of all the other heroes who have had a continual solo presence as fan favorites across Marvel history -- Captain America, Thor, Spider-Man, Wolverine, maybe even Deadpool. You know what those guys all have? Healing factors! For the most part, they are not running around continually on the verge of death, and while there are certainly memorable arcs involving several of them being severely injured and/or dead, you really have to work at it. It's not their constant state of affairs, whereas Tony is the kind of superhero who shows up to a fight already bleeding out under his armor. Yeah, I know Extremis gave him a healing factor. But he didn't have it very long, and also he did some extremely dangerous things while he did have it; I'm pretty sure I've never seen Wolverine saying that he'll just solve a problem by cutting off his own foot. So, anyway, yeah, there are a bunch of good arcs involving h/c for Tony. If you're looking for physical injury, he has a whole bunch of heart problems over the years, gets several new hearts, then ruins his brain, et cetera. That level of hurt is basically the background pain of Tony's life; every so often, his heart will get damaged or he'll have to live in the armor or the armor will be killing him, et cetera. If you're looking for more unusual trauma, I am, as always, going to rec Manhunt, a relatively obscure arc in late v3 (IM v3 #65-69) in which Tony has an extremely bad week. His tech is stolen and used to bomb a building. Then he gets shot in the chest. Then while he's at the hospital a nurse tries and fails to poison him, and she then tries to beat him to death. Then he checks himself out of the hospital and a helicopter shoots missiles at him. Then he becomes a fugitive from justice. And then, oh, yeah, he has to fight the Mandarin. It is... a lot. (Volume 3 of Iron Man is pretty good as far as h/c possibilities. You've got a lot of physical pain, Carol's drinking arc, the Sentient Armor, both DreamVision arcs, and Manhunt. Manhunt is finally supposed to be out in trade this month, by the way.) There are of course the drinking arcs, which probably count as their own type of hurt. But if you haven't read the second drinking arc (IM #160-200), please do. Marvel likes to up the stakes on events (Fear Itself, Secret Empire) by making Tony drink, and it does work, I think. I feel like I've spoken at length about Tony's drinking elsewhere so I don't really want to rehash it all here. And then there's the emotional pain. Angst and drama is something that happens to a whole bunch of characters, yes, especially in comics, but somehow Tony seems to end up with possibly more than his fair share of it. Fandom likes to make a lot of Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, so much so that you might think, if you didn't know canon, that this was just fandom running with a throwaway mention of Tony's terrible childhood and making it worse. But, no, canon really does go there with a reasonable amount of frequency. Howard's actual first appearance is in a flashback where he's ordering teenage Tony to break up with his girlfriend because she's the daughter of one of Howard's business rivals. And then we get into the verbal abuse, and the physical abuse, and the time Howard made Tony take his first drink, and the part where Howard was a demon in hell who Tony fought while he insulted him. And more! Currently, in canon, Howard is alive again and is in league with Mephisto for the express purpose of ruining Tony's life. Also when Tony was a baby, Howard tried to trade him to Dracula. I think you can make an argument that fandom is actually showing restraint when compared to canon. Tony also has a whole lot of Terrible Exes whose presence and/or former presence in Tony's life can be used for a lot of hurt. If you've read any amount of fanfic, you probably know that the exes who get the most play in fandom are Sunset Bain and Tiberius Stone -- not that Tony and Ty were ever canonically a couple, of course, but fandom is definitely enamored of this idea. Ty and Sunset both have relatively similar interactions with Tony in canon, in that they are both liars and emotional abusers, heavy on the gaslighting, with the purpose of becoming more successful than Tony. They both also attempt to murder Tony, although this is after he figures out they're evil, at least. (Yes, I know, this is not how either of them usually appear in AUs.) Tony also has a bunch of exes who also have just straight-up tried to murder or otherwise hurt him, sometimes while they are dating, and sometimes before Tony dates them: Whitney Frost, Indries Moomji, Kathy Dare, and Maya Hansen come to mind. There are probably more I'm not thinking of! But, yes, if you want to write about a guy in a series of terrible relationships, please consider Iron Man comics. If mind control is one of your favorite flavors of hurt, Tony's pretty good for that too. We all know about The Crossing. I suppose when I say "mind control" I mostly mean "armor control" because there are an awful lot of plots where someone else makes Tony's armor do whatever they want it to do and Tony is along for the ride -- Demon in a Bottle, Sentient Armor, and Execute Program are the first things that come to mind. There is also a fairly obscure What If that is What If Iron Man Lost The Armor Wars in which Justin Hammer apparently really wants Tony in a mind control collar to take off all his clothes and lounge around in his underwear. No, really. I think a lot of pain for Tony often revolves around his issues with control, generally -- his alcoholism comes into play here again. The entire aftermath of Civil War is also notable for its propensity to hurt Tony over and over and over. Is he stoically soldiering on through his grief after Steve dies? Hell, no! He cries, like, six separate times. He 100% blames himself for Steve's death. It's great. Everybody loves The Confession and the funeral in Fallen Son, but one of my personal favorites is Avengers/Invaders, in which Tony is confronted with a time-traveling Steve from WWII and in order not to screw up the timeline, he can't tell Steve he knows him. He is clearly not coping well. He shuts himself in a room with a giant wall of pictures of Steve! Also there's a part where he has to try to convince Steve he can trust him and he ends up having to tie Steve to a chair to talk to him, and Steve looks at him and asks, "Who did you kill to get where you are?" and I feel like that is probably one of the worst moments in Tony's life. No wonder he gave himself amnesia. So now we might want to ask, okay, but why is hurting Tony in fanfiction so much fun? I mean, I can tell you why I think it's fun. I can't speak for anyone else. One reason is that he is very emotional and very affected by everything he does. Sometimes you will see people complaining that the heroes of m/m fanfic cry too much and this is not realistic. This is not a problem if you're writing Tony! He can cry as much as you want and it's perfectly in character. I don't think it would be as fun to hurt him if he didn't express so much of his pain. But he does. He also feels guilty, and for me that's a very satisfying character element. If he were well-adjusted and didn't blame himself for so many things, it wouldn't be nearly as fun as watching him blame himself for everyone whose death he thinks he is responsible for, whether or not he is. And then he just keeps going, and it's, y'know, nice to watch him be resilient, too. So, I guess, I think hurting him is interesting because it's easy to hurt him, his weak points are pretty obvious, and he reacts a lot. Steve doesn't hurt quite as much as Tony does, in canon. It's certainly possible to hurt him -- I mean, they did actually kill him after Civil War, after all -- but I don't think the canonical patterns of hurting him are as numerous. Obviously deseruming Steve is a fairly popular go-to in terms of physical hurt; he's been deserumed at least three times that I know of. I think's easy to see the appeal there of taking a character who is fairly physically resilient and making him... much less so. Certainly Marvel seems to see the appeal. But other than that I don't think he has any other really common way to get physically injured. Unlike Tony, whose origin story is basically "oh no, I've acquired a disability," Steve's origin story is "I drank a serum that cured all my disabilities." Which, I mean, great wish fulfillment but there's not really as much there to poke at. Pretty much all of Steve's pain is emotional, but, unlike Tony, his pain isn't often specifically in response to someone directly, purposefully hurting him. Hickman's Avengers run is a big exception, yes. His pain seems to come up most often as a kind of situational angst. He feels like a man out of time. He feels out of touch with the modern era, with people his own age. He feels guilt because he feels responsible for Bucky's death. He feels like he can't trust the government and therefore he can't be Captain America. He worries that he doesn't know how to have a normal life. And, yes, these are deep and important worries but it's different than, like, Indries Moomji dumping Tony with the intent to make him sad enough to start drinking. Very few of Steve's villains want to personally ruin Steve's entire life the way Tony's villains do; mostly they just want to do things like bring back the Nazis. In terms of Steve's potential for h/c, I think Steve is harder to hurt than Tony is. Physically, he is definitely harder to hurt. You can deserum him, sure, but unless you want everything you write to be a deseruming fic you're probably not going to want to do that more than a couple of times. And if you want to hurt him physically while he has the serum, you have to hurt him hard. Usually past the point where a regular human would ever survive it. He's also harder to break, emotionally, than Tony is -- which means it's very satisfying when you can get him to break, but this is a guy who's only cried twice (that I remember) in canon. So if you want to get him to cry, you really, really have to wreck him, and he doesn't have as many obvious weak spots. He also doesn't generally sit around blaming himself for things that aren't his fault, and the whole "stewing in guilt" genre of plots for him basically came down to "he was sad that he thought Bucky's death was his fault," and that's really the biggest regret he seems to have, and also Bucky's not dead anymore. The Steve/Tony relationship itself, I would think, is also appealing to h/c fans because canon provides a lot of ways for them to hurt each other. Some people only ship pairings who would never, y'know, take turns beating each other half to death in major event comics. (And for a lot of Marvel Comics history, that was also Steve & Tony, so if you want them to be BFFs who have never fought, you can just set your fic earlier.) They have definitely hurt each other both physically and emotionally, so if you're looking for something easy and satisfying as a h/c fan, you can just read or write something where they... make up. What about Marvel characters other than Steve and Tony? Surely some of them are angsty, yes? Well, yes, but also it depends on the particular flavor of angst that you like. If you like the way Tony hurts, you may very well enjoy Doctor Strange comics, because they have a very similar attitude towards life -- they are both former alcoholics whose origin stories involve physical disabilities, who routinely make tactical decisions that negatively affect their continued existence and/or happiness a whole lot. It's very much an "I must suffer alone in the dark and no one will ever know what I am doing to save the world but it's the right thing to do" sort of vibe. Like, you can read comics where Strange is lying in hell with two broken legs, hallucinating that Clea has finally come to save him. Strange's biggest fear, akin to Tony's control issues, is basically that one day he's going to be an asshole again, so he's out there trying as hard as he can to do good. Also, if you like tentacles, he has all of them. I mean that. Carol also occasionally hits similar angst spots, and her drinking arc is great. A lot of people like Natasha, too; I have read zero Black Widow comics but I get the impression many people enjoy her brand of angst. The mutant metaphor is a little different in terms of overall vibe, but some people really like it as a source of angst -- the whole "protecting a world who hates and fears them" thing. It may not work for you, but if you like your hurt to include things like systemic oppression, go pick up some X-Men comics. Start with something like God Loves Man Kills. I feel like I liked this sort of thing a lot more as a teenager but that I kind of aged out of liking the mutants quite so much. It's also worth mentioning that not everything that hits the spot in one universe will be the same in the others, and I'm mentioning this because I feel like I have to say something about MCU Bucky. MCU fandom seems to get a lot of mileage out of Bucky's guilt about being the Winter Soldier, everything he was forced to do, et cetera. I have definitely read my share of those fics, and FATWS sure went right for that angst too. But as far as I can tell, he doesn't hit the same way at all in 616. And I like him a lot in 616; I'm always pleased when he shows up on a team. (He was so good in Strikeforce. Everyone was so good in Strikeforce.) But the thing is, 616 Bucky is, basically, phenomenally well-adjusted, given everything he's gone through, and I'm including the time he wrestled a bear in a gulag. He gets over having been the Winter Soldier, and now he's just, y'know, a guy with a cool arm who likes to bring guns to every fight to horrify his teammates, and he snarks at Clint. If you're looking for that angst, that is really not him these days. He's all better. So pretty much all that is canon. So what do we do in fandom for h/c? Well, as far as I can tell, a decent amount of it is canon-based or very canon-close -- there are a whole lot of stories exploring the angst of Civil War or Hickman's Avengers run. Tony's drinking comes up a fair amount, and if one of Tony's Evil Exes comes back to haunt him, it's pretty much only Tiberius Stone. I don't think I've read a lot of fic with Steve getting deserumed; it doesn't seem as popular in fandom as in canon. When Steve gets hurt, he tends to just get physically whumped pretty hard, and there's a fair amount of that for Tony too, but of course Steve can take more. There's also a thriving, uh, subgenre of pain involving Hydra Steve doing terrible things to Tony, presumably the terrible things he would have wanted to do to Tony in canon if Tony had had a flesh body. There's the usual kinds of h/c setups that appear in basically every fandom as well -- sickfic, whump, dub-con/non-con. You get the idea. But since fandom in general likes to take specific inspiration from canon, there's a lot of fic where the hurt tends to resemble things that happen more in canon. Like, I feel like comics fic probably has more tentacle fic and more mind control than canons that don't come pre-stocked with those. Probably everybody has a whole lot of "tied up by bad guys," though. And then, of course, fandom brings the comfort that canon does not. This is true in pretty much every fandom -- I mean, you aren't going to find a lot of actual canons where Character A saves Character B from mortal peril and then there's gay sex -- but, like I was saying, comics don't provide a lot of closure before it's onto the next thing. Usually with a different creative team, who has no interest in wrapping up anything from the last team. Steve and Tony talked about the incursions exactly once after Secret Wars and nobody mentioned the part where Steve spent several months trying to hunt Tony down and kill him. Tony is never going to remember the events of Civil War. Hydra Steve died ignominiously in a fire and no one has ever talked about him again. Honestly, if you're looking for a way to get some comfort in your fanfic, picking an event, any event, and just having the characters talk about it will be way more than any of them get in canon. I feel like honestly that can often be a pretty satisfying to read. And even though comics canon physically hurts characters pretty often and pretty badly, they also often skip right past the recovery. Maybe you'll get one page of a character in a hospital bed at the end of the story arc. Maybe you won't. Demon in a Bottle has one splash page of Tony going through alcohol withdrawal and then he's all better. I think Manhunt skips to Tony getting out of the hospital at the end. That's just not a story that they want to tell very often. The second drinking arc is notable in that it devotes almost as many issues to Tony's recovery as it does to getting him to rock-bottom. Similarly, Steve is done with his Nomad angst way way faster than you probably think he is (though The Captain does go in for a fair number of issues). So one of the things we often want to do in fandom is focus on all the bits that canon skips over, both in the "why did no one ever mention this story arc ever again" way and the "wow, so how long are they in the hospital after that" way. That's really all I can think of about h/c! I'm off to write some more of it!
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robininthelabyrinth · 4 years
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im currently obsessed with the thought of a role swap au where jiang fengmian and madam yu are the ones who die young and cangse sanren and wei changze are like "welp! gonna settle down in lotus pier and raise a couple bonus kids" like sdkfjlksdj just imagine how different the yunmeng siblings would turn out, especially jiang cheng
“Well, shit.”
Cangse Sanren stopped trying to wrestle Wei Ying into his shirt – he’d decided that he was a monkey today, with the associated claim that monkeys did not require clothing – and turned to look at her husband. She’d managed to crack open that reserve of his more and more as the years went by, but he still tended not to swear anywhere outside the bedroom, and never in front of Wei Ying.
“What happened?” she asked. “I assume it’s something a bit more of a problem than the usual night hunt requests.”
“Something happened at the Lotus Pier.”
“Oh?” That sounded troublesome, so she put Wei Ying down and lightly kicked him in the ass, sending him tumbling head over heels and giggling madly the entire time. “We’ll settle this later, you hear me? Now get lost or I’ll eat you, little cabbage.” He ran off at once.
“Now,” she continued, putting the shirt aside. “Lotus Pier. What does Fengmian have to say?”
Her husband maintained a semi-frequent correspondence with him on behalf of both of them – she liked Jiang Fengmian, really, and she was happy to hear from him. It’s only that she liked being free more.
“Nothing,” Wei Changze said, and that’s when Cangse Sanren noticed that her husband was an unhealthy shade of pale. “He’s – he’s dead.”
“What?” She snatched the letter away from him. “What – him and Yu Ziyuan both? Impossible! They’re – they’re sect leaders. Of a Great Sect! What happened?”
“We have to go back at once,” Wei Changze said. “I’m sorry, I know it’s not your favorite place –”
Nowhere that tried to trap her was.
“– but I owe everything to him, and his children...the rest of the world is going to eat them alive.”
Cangse Sanren was weak when it came to children, especially those around the same age as her own.
“Oh, fine,” she said. “I’ll go get Wei Ying ready, you start packing, we’ll head out at once.”
“I don’t know what we can do even if we do go,” he said, folding the letter and putting it away. “I was a good friend of Jiang Fengmian’s, but in the end I was still only a servant –”
“Enough worrying,” she said. “First we need to get there.”
By the time they got there, little Jiang Cheng – even younger than her Wei Ying – had already learned to sit on the sect leader’s seat, but not enough to hide the sheer terror in his eyes, and Cangse Sanren was immediately incensed by the very sight of it, pulling out her horsetail whisk and applying it to the leeches that came to a situation like this and saw in scared child only as an opportunity for power.
“Dear, please stop beating all the Jiang cousins,” Wei Changze said. “It’s not going to change anything. The ceremony’s done; he’s sect leader whether we like it or not.”
She bared her teeth to show what she thought about that. Stupid human rules; sometimes she didn’t like them one bit.
“How about you go introduce Wei Ying?” Wei Changze suggested. “And before you say that I’m just trying to get you out of the way to reduce tension in the political situation: you’re absolutely right, I am. Please go anyway – I’ll call you back if there’s anyone else that needs a beating.”
It was very nice to have a husband that understood her.
Cangse Sanren quickly figured out that Jiang Yanli was Jiang Fengmian’s daughter in all the important ways, being calm, easy-going, and generally capable of handling things without becoming overly distraught, and Yu Ziyuan’s daughter in the sense that there was steel in her spine when she stood in front of her younger brother and interrogated Cangse Sanren as to her intentions.
It was, in Cangse Sanren’s private opinion, an improvement on them both.
Jiang Cheng, though – he wasn’t what she’d expected at all, not the way Jiang Yanli was. Maybe it was just the trauma, but he was softer than she’d expected, more vulnerable, more introspective; he took everything seriously, frowning more than he smile, always paying careful attention to everything everyone said even though he was neither especially studious or naturally talented. Every once in a while, his temper would get going and he’d be vicious, lashing out with a poison tongue that was mostly just cute because he hadn’t learned to use it properly, but it was very obvious to an objective observer that he only ever reacted that way when he felt hurt.
No matter what, though, he always tried very hard.
Jiang Fengmian would have hated you, Cangse Sanren thought, and abruptly felt guilty about the thought. Based on her understanding of the man’s character, though, the way he liked people who were free and lively, people who smiled no matter what the circumstances, people who didn’t make trouble or stick too closely to the rules, the way he disliked those that were the opposite to that – no, she was being uncharitable to a dead man’s memory.
Even if Jiang Cheng wasn’t the type of person Jiang Fengmian would have liked best, he was still his son.
“My husband was your father’s servant,” she explained, kneeling down to look at little Jiang Cheng. “He used to help him with all the things he had to do when he first became Sect Leader, and now he’s here to help you.”
“Where were you before?” Jiang Yanli wanted to know, her arms protectively around Jiang Cheng’s shoulders.
“Travelling,” Cangse Sanren said, even though she knew the question had been more about why they hadn’t been there. “Would you like to meet Wei Ying?”
That right there was the best testament to their characters she could find: they liked Wei Ying at once, and he liked them in return.
By the time Wei Changze came to find her, Cangse Sanren had already resigned herself to staying in the Lotus Pier for the short term future, with an option out for long-term, and she told him as much.
“It’s a bit more complicated than that,” he said. “I was speaking with Sect Leader Nie – how much do you know about war?”
Cangse Sanren blinked. “I’ve heard bad things?”
She appreciated that he asked, though. After this long, he recognized that there were certain things one simply did not encounter when one was raised on a celestial mountain by an immortal that was only sometimes a person.
“We may not be able to avoid it, if we stay,” he said. “And – I have to stay. I owe it to Jiang Fengmian. But if you wanted –”
“Too late now,” she said cheerfully. As if she’d leave him! “I introduced Wei Ying, and now he has a shijie and a shidi; he’d be heartbroken if we abandoned them. We’re in here for the long haul. Now…tell me about this war. Who would be the most efficient first kill?”
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