#That crazy clown motherfucker.. I fucking love him
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opinions on wash? for character bingo ^_^
I do love wash but for me he’s like, blorbo by proxy to soooo much of the fandom that i’m like aight he doesn’t need me there’s other people appreciating him way better than i would anyways. It’s also kind of that “zone of compelling mediocrity vs having nothing to add to a complete concept” thing for me. Like his character arc is arguably executed the best, at least one of the best-executed, in the show, and then any things to elaborate on have been elaborated on so well by so many awesome writers in this fandom that i’m like *thumbs up* tight story I have nothing to say. But since i don’t talk about him much i’ll take this opportunity to just list things i do love about wash:
really funny guy in both intentional dry sarcasm ways and unintentional ways through being so fucking… how to describe it… sort of a Stoic Military Man who Endures Things and represses Unnecessary feelings and denies himself pleasures when he does not need to do that. He does such weird things and he’s like so serious about it, sighing deeply and resignedly at Yet Another Time The Universe Is Testing Him, yet at the same time recognizes the absurdity in these situations but just… doesn’t take that recognition to the point of removing himself from the situation or refusing to engage and instead he just Endures but also wisecracks about it.
obviously all the epsilon stuff. Man. situationship of all time
LOVE the marathon-winning grudgeholding in a way that he’s entirely silent about it until suddenly he is very not silent about it. guy who CANNOT just fucking let it go but you’ll never realize that until it’s too late. reactive dog with growl violently trained out of them “bites out of nowhere!!!”
going along w that, yay repressed anger issues!!! sorry that’s flippant but i have so much love and sadness and anger for ~Troubled Kids~ railroaded into violent professions and places based on being branded with labels of violent/oppositional/defiant/angry/dangerous instead of being helped. “hey you’re struggling with something that’s making you so angry you can’t contain violence or feel so unsafe that the only defence you’re left with is aggression or feel that you need to make people fear you to feel a little less unrespected and powerless or so that they get a taste of it for once. instead of addressing that i think we can use it. you know how people believe you’re Bad and that you’ll never change and lots of doors are shut to you? well, this one’s wide open and it’s what you’re meant for, as a person who is good at violence and not trusting people. come here and we’ll train it into you some more.” i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again: cop-dog-coded motherfucker
really really good juxtaposition of this with being the goofball rookie. i know some people get frustrated with the inconsistency between pfl-recruit-era wash in book-extras vs in the show but to me it really adds something. a guy can both be goofy and have repressed anger. that guy might play up the goofiness trying very hard not to again be railroaded into Being The Crazy Angry Dangerous Kid. he is friendly and wants friends! that guy might also internally chafe at the kind of friendship that exaggerated “i’m not a threat! i’m not a threat! i swear i’m not a threat i’m just a little goofy guy!!” presentation begets. being treated as the dumb hopeless class clown sidekick is demeaning and makes you resentful no matter how hard you’re trying to make yourself think “hey, they’re my friends, this is good, they like me, they’re joking with me so they don’t hate me, this is so much better than being disliked”. and then you’ve got this internal spiral going of fear of your own capacity for anger and resentment -> overcorrect -> more things to resent
YAYYYYYYY JUSTIFIED VILLAIN ARCS MY BELOVED. love s8 washie so much.
as with carolina, really well-executed redemption arc of growing to accept friendship and rest and forgiveness and hanging onto hope that there is something better (frands and luv for them) you can shoot for than just getting revenge. wash: life is just unending cycles of violence forever change my mind. *blues offer him forgiveness and unconditional acceptance* wash: wait. i didn’t know they could do that. brb recalibrating my entire worldview to account for the power of friendship.
i actually don’t like a lot of fandom “wash and cats” content because it often hits kind of a woobification tone i’m not interested in, BUT i love imagery of alleycats, cats with nine lives, cats that always land on their feet (even when they fall off something in the goofiest, most clumsy way possible. wash paradox of dexterity/somehow surviving against all odds and dumb clumsy accidents/bad luck real). cockroach kitty wash : )
otoh my Hot Wash Take is i think sometimes some fans swing the pendulum too far the opposite way from All-Characteristics-Erased-Except-Trauma-And-Protectiveness-And-Cats Woobie Wash. yeah he’s obviously extremely competent but he’s far from the most skilled character in rvb (not his fault the competition is insane) and he is a bit goofy. let him goof up a little i promise it’s okay he’s gonna land on his feet
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MAG12 - First Aid, more review time
GERARD KEAY! HOW DARE YOU HANG OUT WITH THAT CULT! I AM ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTED! YOUR ARCHIVIST IS NOW FACING AN INQUIRY AT WORK, AND IT'S ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT! IF YOU PUT ANOTHER TOE OUT OF LINE, WE'LL BRING YOU STRAIGHT HOME!
This episode may not be scary, but I must say that it's mysterious and it's hilarious. I'll explain in a minute.
Gerard Keay is the Batman of TMA, he would get along with Dean Winchester like a house on fire and he deserves his own movie, hell, a tv show. I mean, he lives in an action movie, what the fuck is he doing in this episode in Christmas Eve??? All he has was a suit, a zippo with an eye on it, a long black coat and was being basically a goddamn hero???
Dude's crazy and we love him for that
Quotes for this one:
Ms Saraki is not a poet nor she's dramatic, so I don't have much to comment from her. Every single paranormal bit had me like "sis, run" at every turn. Mad respect for her.
"There’s obviously a lot to unpack here, so let’s start with what is provable." - Jon "I hate my job" Sims, April 17th 2016
Sometimes I want to stranggle him, wtf you mean "provable" Jonathan???
“Veepalach” might also be a mishearing of the Polish word “wypalać”, according to Martin, which means to cauterize or brand. Admittedly, if Martin speaks Polish in the same way he “speaks Latin,” then he might be talking nonsense again, but I’ve looked it up and it appears to check out." - Jon "You must be proffessional at work" Sims
Emotional constipation strikes again!
"It has not escaped my notice that this is the second time Gerard Keay has turned up in this Archive." - Jon Sims, completely unaware of everything
"(...) and if we’re lucky maybe we already have a statement from him tucked away somewhere in these damn files." - Jon Sims about Gerard Keay
yeah, a statement from Gerry, i know how that would be:
JURGEN LEITNER? STUPID IDIOT MOTHERFUCKING JURGEN LEITENER GOD DAMN FOOL BOOK COLLECTING DUST EATING RAT OLD BASTARD SHITHEAD IDIOT AVATAR OF THE WHORE BIGGEST CLOWN IN THE CIRCUS LAUGHED OUT OF TOWN COWBOY MOTHERFUCKING JURGEIN LEITNER STOP PINNING ME WHEN I TALK ABOUT JURGEIN LEITENER I HATE HIM SO MUCH WHY DOES HE HAVE SO MANY FUCKED UP BOOKS WHY DID HE DECIDE TO FUCK AROUND AND FIND OUT---
"At 03:11:22, it shows everybody in that room, which I personally counted at twenty-eight people, standing up and calmly filing out of the doors. (...) The rest of the staff and patients do not return until 03:27:12, over fifteen minutes after they left, when they walk back in through the same doors. The footage does not contain any sound, and no alarm of any sort was recorded, so I cannot offer any guess as to why they left, or what they were doing in the intervening time." - Jon Sims, scared af
notice how he "personally counted all 28 people", woah, I liked this bit soooooo much.
"There is one other thing that Sasha highlighted, however. At 03:22:52, the feed cuts out for less than a second, and is replaced for a single frame by a close-up of a human eye, staring back through the video feed." - Also Jon
wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf
General overview:
Vibe: great, absolutely great, wtf gerry
Horror: spoooooooooky
Audio: pretty ASMR in general
Humour: just the facts, and Jon being neurodivergent
Score: 10/10
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only in my old age does it hit how awful of a decision it was for angel to not only transplant the fang gang into a timeline where connor lives, but erase their memories too! it’s like the irreparable damage in season four was merely amplified. of COURSE angel doesn’t feel like his struggle’s getting him any closer to shanshu because he keeps not DEALING with this shit. he’s outchea changing timelines, wiping memories, rewinding days, etc. of COURSE he still harbors resentment against wesley bc the motherfucker’s repressed his feelings of both love and hatred towards him because how DARE one of his closest male friends try to STEAL his child and raise him on his own iNSTEAD OF WITH ANGEL HIMSELF???
and not to mention gunn/fred! they raised that boy for months! they played mom and dad while angel was hallucinating at the bottom of the ocean and wesley was enjoying his dark’ness with lilah AND tryna bring angel back to the surface, and lorne??? lorne clocked that boy’s crazy! angel, in his inability to deal with his grief and loss, stripped his team of their OWN ability to deal with their grief and loss. because THEY deserved to grieve too! wesley deserved to grieve his ousting from the group AND THE FACT THAT HIS PROPHECY FUCKING CAME TRUE. fred should have been able to grieve the crumbling of her relationship with gunn, her shame of not thinking she’s ‘champion’ enough, and the decisions she made in the throes of the literal apocalypse and the revelation that one of her key abusers was a trusted confidant. gunn should have been able to grieve the death of the son that was not his but the one he DID look after, and the relationship he ended after years of feeling helpless himself with no one caring for his needs and declining mental health.
connor was a bitch. his entire existence outside of when he was a baby was the bane of everyone’s existence, BUT HE WAS THEIR CHILD. THEY ALL TOOK TURNS RAISING HIM AND LOVING HIM. they should have been able to grieve not only his death but all the what-have-could-haves!
the tragedy of ats is that the writing was so fucking bad, it inadvertently made angel, the hero, the BIGGEST clown in the show by never allowing him to truly and honestly deal with his pain, and by extension, his team’s pain. the memory wipe was paint on rotting plaster. it wasn’t even half the fix-it angel thought it was, and all it did was diminish the suffering the fang gang had to go thru. it’s always angelus this, angelus this, wolfram and hart this wolfram and hart that, it’s never ANGEL, PLEASE DEAL. and it’s fucking tragic, because after eight seasons of content, he DID deserve to have some respite, to deal with his pain, and finally be put to rest instead of selfishly taking from his friends what only a god could do.
and angel was never a god, and yet he had access to god’s powers. instead of letting this man fucking DEAL with his shit with his friends’ support, joss instead flipped the story on its ass. deaths and unreconciled losses and relationships everywhere, until angel was left to what? fight eternally?
lmao the man never actually left hell, and his poor friends got dragged into it with him. this is why we never need a buffyverse reboot ever again. imagine giving one of the central characters from your original show a whole ass show of his own, and not even writing a conclusion for him. all these years and for what? so he could hurt lorne, watch the others die, and become the very bastard buffy called him out to be thru andrew? it’s grimdark shit from hell and i hope we never have to see a reboot or continuation of it bc IF we did, and angel was STILL doing his clown shit, then buffy WOULD be the one to send his ass to hell again bc all the story would have proved is that you can put a soul in a man, but you can’t make him like it. and how’s THAT for a metaphor? forget trying to atone for your fucking sins, cuz your ass is grass and goin straight back to hell regardless 🤦🏽♀️
angel im so sorry joss that dumb fuck did this to you. you were a whiny cunt, but you were loved, and i have every faith that you finally made it out of this hell 😭
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aye you thought i was done with tas ? i will never be free from this torment.
season 2. unfortunately. maybe after watching that i can finally move on and stop being haunted by this fucking stupid cartoon
episode 1 : spock deadly ill, another one for the follow-up episode bingo.
jim, calling starfleet command : pickuppickuppickup
starfleet command : oh my god what do you want
jim : RING RING MOTHERFUCKERS ALL HANDS ON DECK MY BOYFRIEND IS DYING
starfleet command : again ?!?!?
bones, it's been four seasons. we know you care about him. "don't worry, we'll get the cure soon" there's twenty minutes left of the episode out of twenty-seven. will you though. "what good doctors even are ? without our drugs and technology, i might as well be practising in the middle ages." "if you really believed that, bones, you wouldn't still be practising after 25 years." can y'all stop. with bones's complicated relationship with his job. please. oh and there's bomb asteroids too. oooh girl you know it's about to go down when jim kirk starts citing precise passages of diplomatic conferences. you know how you can tell that bones was WORRIED SICK that this time they would really lose spock ? because the second he's better they start arguing about whose constitution is better between vulcan and human (and spock of course saying he prefers vulcan) and bones just goes "he's as stubborn as ever..." and has the most sincere, warm laughter. thank u tas for this and solely for this.
episode 2 : shady "observer" aboard the ship, call him lego alien the way his body is detachable.
it's only now that you ask yourself this question ?
this show isn't real
and now they're talking to god. not that it's unusual
kirk and spock : *are in danger*
scotty :
"i am humbled" brother I am humbled by the amount of madshit crazy content i've been absorbing for the past four hours.
episode 3 : it has been exactly seven seconds of episode. they're already being attacked. romulans btw. they're going through an big ass energy fold and scotty is WORRIED
they're having a little party <3. "we used to pull that off all the time at medical school, with trick glasses" sir respectfully what the fuck were you doing back at the academy when you weren't studying. you know the crew is T I R E D when food falling off of your fork is enough to send an entire table of senior officers into a fit of laughter.
this show ain't real part 2
whoever is waging the prank war is DETERMINED. i love that bones uhura and sulu seem to regularly have time-off together, besties. there's a holodeck ??? i fucking knew it ! they never showed that on tos but i fucking knew it was there. it's the ship's computer who became sentient who's waging the prank war, not only does it have terrible humour but it also said "fuck around and find out" to spock. jim cannot believe he's being sassed by his own ship's computer. "when i find out who's the clown behind all this, i'll put him in sickbay for a week !" is the most bones threat ever.
this show ain’t real part 3
why is bones so weak to the cold like my man is always « leave me alone to die i’m frostbitten anyways ». the enterprise truly is a little fucker because now she’s getting revenge on the romulans by sending them on a wild-goose chase after an enterprise-shaped balloon. jimmy boy why are you having a panic attack on bridge ??? how it was a counterprank.
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my school drama cuz i need to type and copy paste it x2
and I wanna get this off my chest
OKAY SO
since the start of the year me and ashlynn were bestie boo girlie pops!! i gave this bitch ruben a note saying "your a dingus" and i got in trouble L + ratio. anyways i liked angel. so. bad. like simping so hard. ashlynn had a sex dream of him! she called ME the man stealer??? anyways angel himself was guessing my crush. he said EVERY PERSON IN THE GRADE HAFsggshgfsGDVGS and he said at lunch,, "OMG WHO IS IT?!?!?!?!!" and i YELLED infRont OF ALL OF MY GRADE,, "IT'S YOU!!!!" my bully, jaime was across from me, he told everyone. and uh. anyways i stopped liking him. i liked luis g. somehow everyone found out??? idk people call me crazy. then i dated melissa 😜. but we broke up and she dated ashlynn. thEN I DATED GIOVANNI THE FUCKING CLASS CLOWN IDIOT THAT ASHLYNN HAD A CRUSH ON 💀💀💀💀 AND THEN I CHEATED BECAUSE GIOVANNI WAS A FUCKING DOUCHEBAG AND I DATED ASHLEY. THEN ASHLEY GAVE ME A NOTE SAYING NOBODY LIKES ME AND SHE CALLED ME A FAG 😭😭😭😭
AND THEN. ERNEST WAS BEING WEIRD AND TOUCHED RAELYN WITH HIS BONER IN A CLASS THAT WASN'T MINE, SO THEY WERE SEPARATED, AND RAELYN WAS IN MY CLASS AND I LIKED HER. SGGJSVJGSVVGSHGFVGGVH AND SHE DOESN'T LIKE ME SHE LIKES THIS HOTDOG MILK
ASS BITCH IORI THAT IS MY BULLY ASWELL AS JAIME AND THEN
RUBEN, JAIMES BOYFRIEND OR SMTH IS A TOTAL DOUCHEBAG AND ASHLYNN FALLS FOR HIM
ASHLYNN BREAKS UP WITH MELISSA AND I STOP LIKING RAELYN AND I START LIKING EMO BOY NOEL AND OH BOY HERE IT COMES,,,,
ASHLYNN WRITES A NOTE SAYING THIS
"Ashley the bitch, Ruben the motherfucker, Jaime the trianglehead, Baldo the bitch" AND MORE.
ANGEL STEALS THE FUCKING PAPER AND TELLS EVERYONE AND ASHLEY CRIES AND THE SUB FUCKING SCOLDS ASHLYNN AND SHE COMES IN, HAVING A FAKE ASS PANIC ATTACK, APOLOGIZING IN THE MOST HALF ASSED WAY EVER HFDJHSGJHS
AND I STILL LIKE NOEL, I TELL HIM MY FEELINGS.
HE SAYS HE ONLY LIKES LATINA GIRLS AND I'M A CRACKER 😭
THEN HE GIVES ME A NOTE A WEEK LATER THAT SAYS "i love you." AND UHM WHAT THE FUCK??? NOELS STORY ENDS THERE BECAUSE HE STILL STARES AT ME IN CLASS SO IDK
ANYWAYS SO ASHLYNN IS FAILING HAHA L
SHE BECOMES A FUCKING JERK, AND I FAKE LIKING HER HAHA
AND UUM I AM SINGLE AND LIKE NOEL OKAY GO OFF IG
FOR A REALLY LONG TIME IT'S JUST "i like noel hshshhs"
AND THEN AFTER LIKE 3 MONTHS
DYLAN THINKS I LIKE HIM BUT HE A CRUSTY ROACH
BUT THEN
I LIKE AJ ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
AND EVERYBODY FUCKING KNOWS LIKE EVEN HIM.
AND JAYDA, THE BITCH SHE IS SAYS "oh we were dating he likes me yknow 🙄"
AND I SAY STFU DUMB BITCH NO
HE STARES. SO MUCH.
ANYWAYS I GIVE HIM A VALENTINE ❤❤❤❤
HE SAYS SURE I LIKE YOU BACK DON'T TELL
AAAAA
SO YEAH AND AT CHOICE P.E HE TALKS TO ME AND ASHLYNN, BEING A FUCKING DUMBASS RUINS IT, MAKING ME FEEL LIKE SHIT BECAUSE HE NEVER SAID WHAT HE WANTED TO SAY BECAUSE
ASHLYNN CALLED HIM DADDY AND NOW HE THINKS IM CRAZY AND OBSESSED AND STUPID
ANYWAYS SO YEAH HE STARES LIKE IM FUCKING INSANE
AND RAELYN FUCKING HATES MY GUTS BECAUSE SHE THINKS I LIKE HER HOTDOG WATER ASS CRUSH IORI WHEN I FUCKING DON'T HE SUCKS HE IS A FUCKING SLIDE WHISTLE
BALDO COMES OUT AS BISEXUAL POGGERS NGL
AND THE ASHLYNN AJ THING WAS TODAY BTW
AND LATER, I'M JUST DANCING AT LUNCH FOR NO REASON
AND I DO THIS
✊↔
BY ACCIDENT. AND IORI SAYS "OMG AJ LOOK SHE DID THIS *inappropriate motion*" AND SO I GET PISSED OFF AND SAY NO THE FUCK???? AND A TEACHER YELLS AT ME AND I TELL HER WHY IM PISSED OFF AND IORI GETS IN TROUBLE AND AJ SMILES AT ME
HE SMILES. AT. MEEEE. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤👹👹❤👹❤👹❤👹❤👹❤👹
AND HE FINDS IT COOL THAT WHEN WE ARE GOING TO OUR SEPARATE BUSES HE SMILES AND SAYS "you got iori in trouble :)"
AND I FUCKING BLUSH SO HARD AND CAN'T STOP SMILING VSGGSJHSGHG
ps giovanni moved away ig idk
anyways im gonna go eat cheese straight out the container 😀😃
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🤡🛑𝕋ℝ𝕀ℂ𝕂𝕐 𝕋ℝ𝕀ℂ𝕂𝕐 𝔽𝕌ℕℕ𝕀 ℂ𝕃𝕆𝕎ℕ🛑🤡
So since my first Madness related fanart I posted got a good amount of notes (thank you all for doing this, keep it up❤️💜🖤💜❤️) I decided to make another one
Only this time it's an actual artwork and of course.... MORE OF TRICKY!1!1!1!!1!!1
#artists on tumblr#digital art#digital illustration#xyla-does-art#Xyla-does-fanart#madness#madness combat#madness combat fanart#Tricky#tricky the clown#Clown#clowncore#emocore#Webcore#Gore and maybe shown middle finger cw#Yes fellaz... I drew Tricky again#That crazy clown motherfucker.. I fucking love him#Neon red#Red#red aesthetic#newgrounds#newgrounds fanart#krinkels#Apparently I am still a simp for this guy..#I need to teach myself not to simp for anything anymore#Like... I really need to.... TwT#I ran out of ideas of what to tag so...#E#Machine gun#Mini gun
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If I ever fought the man who tortured/killed my son and paralyzed my pseudo-daughter then I’d kill him.
Like rip to Batman but I’m different.
#i would murder the fuck out of Joker#just fucking anihliate him#im 5’4 and 130 pounds of pure clown killing rage#like oh you wanna fuck up Harley? not on my watch motherfucker#jason todd gunna sleep well tonight knowing SOMEONE who loves him is willing to kill that crazy fuck for him#honestly Alfred shoukd kill him#but DC is full of cowards
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🎰🔪🧨 with Charlie himself. 🤞🏻
Thanks for your request for my Emoji Fic Fest! 💗
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Slut Machine
Pairing: Charlie Hunnam x F!Reader
Warnings: smut, swearing, Vegas shenanigans
Word Count: ~1.5k
Emoji Prompt: 🎰🔪🧨 (key words are in bold)
“Morning, sleepyhead.”
… Whose voice is that? Your senses are too hazy yet to process who it was or what he said. You blink your bleary eyes and wake up in an… unfamiliar bed. The sheets are a ridiculous resplendent red—must be a love motel or some shit—there’s a story as to how you ended up here but you find you can’t remember any of it. Sleep was so deep that you feel as if you’re waking from the dead.
When your eyes finally flutter open everything comes flooding back. You’re here in bed with Charlie Motherfucking Hunnam and the sight of his blue gaze and bright white grin gives you a goddamn heart attack.
You cover your face with your hands and groan out loud at just how mortified you are. Recalling how you’d made a clown out of yourself last night when you bumped into this million-dollar movie star. Literally bumped into him—till yesterday you never even knew him—you had just been crushing hard on him for years but he was always a completely unattainable celebrity. A girls’ trip brought you to Sin City; you and your besties were hopping casually from bar to bar, when you had stumbled clumsily straight into Charlie as he stepped out of his car.
You’d simply scurried off in that instant ‘cause he was too damn beautiful in person and your ass was terrified. But then bumped into him again soon after you both got inside. This time you had a full martini glass in hand and spilled its contents all across his shirt and thought you ought to help the man get dried. Decided then you really shouldn’t try to run away and hide.
You’d grabbed a bunch of napkins, dabbing at his chest and abs through the damp fabric as you nervously apologized for what happened. Your spastic wiping motions all across his chiseled muscles weren’t exactly very helpful with the spilled drink situation, as your brain cells were all absent in the face of heaven’s most stunning creation. Charlie said some shit about how bumping into you a second time wasn’t an accident. You were too hypnotized with lust to understand just what he meant.
He joked that you could make it up to him by winning him a jackpot at the slot machines. You told him shyly that the whole gambling thing isn’t quite your scene. Although he didn’t want to pressure you he asked you to indulge him in a night of fun—all kinds of shit you’d never done—let him take you out around Vegas to the wildest places you had never been.
It didn’t make sense that you felt so safe with him but hell you did. You were still sober by the time Charlie was coming onto you and all your girlfriends chanted do it do it do it! And the craziest night of your life began before you even knew it. Took you to his favorite high-stakes casino—then to seats in the front row at a big AEW Dynamite show—and then to some intense axe-throwing place that also offered knives and ninja stars and other shit to throw.
The best part of the night though… was of course when Charlie claimed you as his dirty little ho. The memory of it is vivid as you look up at him now and find that both of you are still stuck in the most mind-blowing afterglow.
***************
“No way that was your first fucking time throwing knives?!” Charlie shakes his blonde head in defeat as he walks you back out to the sweet car he drives. “Bitch I swear you’ve been doing this shit your whole life.”
You slide into the passenger seat while erupting in laughter. He’s so fucking butthurt that your aim was better than his because he’s a competitive smug little bastard. “Well I am an assassin specifically hired to take out insanely attractive actors… but I can assure you that wasn’t a factor.”
He closes the driver’s side door, turns the keys and the engine ignites in a smooth thrumming roar. “And by ‘take out’ you mean…?”
“It’s cute of you to ask but dinner and a movie isn’t really the assassin scene.”
He chuckles playfully as he speeds down the street, the night alive with white hot heat, the lights of Vegas bright as ever as the night deepens. “You gonna kill me in my sleep, then?”
“That’d be making it too easy.”
“Babe, don’t tease me. We both know you make it hard.”
Okay so he just pulled that card.
Fight off the burning urge to stare down at his crotch—no doubt the car would crash then if you saw what you’re imagining and know you’d be unable to resist the urge to touch…
You’ve never wanted anyone or anything in all your life so fucking much.
The sudden tension in the air leads him to smooth back his slicked hair, facing the road with a restrained stare. He’s been picking up on signals all night long but doesn’t dare to just assume you want to go there. Tries to come off calm and cool although there’s nothing he wants more. “So, uh—should I just drive you back to your hotel or…?”
The voice that comes out of your mouth is one you barely even recognize. It takes both you and Charlie by surprise, the way your inner slut replies: “That’d be a fucking bore. You know I’d much rather you take me back to yours… so you can fuck me like a filthy little whore.”
***************
The swanky penthouse suite in the five-star hotel where Charlie came to stay… it’s a ten-minute drive away.
That’s way too far needless to say.
He needs you right this second, after what you’d gone and said—although the backseat of his car is a fine spot for a good wrecking, there are fifty shades of shit he’d rather do with you spread in the comfort of a big sumptuous bed.
Thankfully there is an extremely tacky-looking love motel just down the road. And it’s the perfect place for you two to check in and let your passions for each other just explode.
It turns out this particular motel has a requirement for guests to stay the night that just might pose a bit of trouble: lovebirds have to pass through the adjoining chapel first and be a lawfully wedded couple.
So you stand uncomfortably at the reception desk and bite your tongue. Happen to know that Charlie tied the knot in Vegas once when he was young; you’ve heard about it in some interviews. You’re sure that he’d have no desire to repeat that same mistake tonight with you.
But this has been a night of wild crazy shit and he’s on fire to continue.
Mostly it’s just that he really needs his dick in you… but there’s a spark that he can feel might someday blossom into something more and he just hopes that you can feel it too.
***************
Of course you do. The ceremony is a joke but you’re both giddy as if it’s real by the time you’ve seen it through. There’s just no hope of sanity and self-control between you two.
You’re in a fluffy white confection of a wedding gown that this establishment provided for the night. You look like a big puff of cotton fucking candy and he wants to take a bite. So much about this night seems wrong, but when the heat between the racing of your heartbeats is so strong, it can’t feel anything but right.
Once you’re at last inside your room he throws you down onto the bed and dives headfirst into your gown, and goes to town, taking you high until you die as he goes down.
The dress is so damn big, that you can’t see his flawless face, let alone his glorious dick, and that’s a royal fucking waste. You need to see and touch and taste.
He knows exactly what you need and ravenously rips the poufy fabric off of you. His pearly smile and the bristles of his beard are gleaming with your pussy juices as he climbs on top of you. You long to tell him just how bad you want to blow him—want to tell him that you love him even though you barely know him—it would be fucking insane to say I love you, but of course you can still show him.
Yet he wants to consummate this marriage first, before he lets you satisfy your thirst. You’ll have a lifetime’s worth of days and nights to suck on his big dick if you decide to stay with him and make him yours.
That’s everything you want of course.
This whirlwind of a night that started with a stupid joke about hitting the jackpot at the slot machines… turned into you being his motherfucking wife, after the wildest and best night of your motherfucking life. And now he’s here on top of you about to fuck you and it’s totally outrageously obscene.
You wouldn’t have it any other way ‘cause you know you were put on earth to serve as Charlie Hunnam’s dirty little slut machine.
..................................................
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SO GUYSSSS I JUST FINISHED READING RULE OF WOLVES AND WHAT THE HELL???? I am a MESS
(so here are my thoughts that I had while reading it)
❗❗RULE OF WOLVES SPOILERS❗❗
• Lol Nikolai has a horse named Punchline, I love him so much
• Sankta Zoya Y E S
• Nina is sooo badass I love her - Brum needs to die btw
• Fjerda is a little shit
• "If not for Nina, their blessed termite eating at the heart of Fjerda’s government" - did I mention I love Nina?????
• Nikolai is a freaking mastermind and I love him
• OMG THEY HAVE AN ANTIDOTE FOR PAREM NOW???? HELL YEAH take THAT Fjerda!!!!
• Nina adopting Kaz's mindset when back at the Ice Court is what I live for
• UGH THE APPARAT
• Nikolai is soooo in love with Zoya I AM GOING CRAZY
• Zoya's "you forget that in Kerch greed is a virtue" gave me MAJOR Kaz vibes... I miss my crow babies
• Maybe it's an unpopular opinion, but I don't really like Ehri
• ZOYALAI NATION, HOW ARE WE??? ARE WE CRYING?
• I just REALLY love the found family trope and seeing everyone gathered in Zoya's rooms and Zoya curled up on the couch next to Genya I just AAAAAAAAA
• I absolutely adore the whole concept of the Darkling's prison and the CONSTANT sunlight he has to face HA - Alina vibes
• OMG "bring me Alina Starkov" WHAT THE FUCK I have literal chills ESPECIALLY after seeing the S&B trailer:)
• Nina being so confident in everything she learned from the Crows gives me so much serotonin I WANT MY BABIESSS
• Oh my god... I like prince Rasmus, he gives me major Nikolai vibes
• I draw immense satisfaction from Kaz and Zoya using "podge" as their preferred curse word :))))
• NIKOLAI CAN SEPARATE HIMSELF FROM HIS DEMON???? King behavior
• HOLY SHIT ALINA AGREED TO THE MEETING here we go again, fam
• I'm seeing Nikolai talking a lot about accepting his death and being undisturbed by the prospect of it and it feeaks me out - if he dies, I die with him
• Random, but: they need to get the thorn stuff from the Order of Sankt Feliks or whatever, right??? Maybe they have to steal it... and they would require expertise... MAYBE SOME CROWS PLS???????? (I am such a clown)
• Okay wait... so the letters that prove Nikolai is a bastard are in the druskelle sector... PLEASE TELL ME NINA HAS TO BREAK IN THE ICE COURT the fact that she is back there ALONE makes my heart clench so hard... I MISS MY CROWS
• FUCK ALINA SHOWED UP (also Oncat apparently and now I want to cry about Harshaw again)... AND MAL I can't take this I AM HYPERVENTILATING
• I AM LEGIT ON THE FLOOR Yuri is still there FINALLY understanding that the Darkling is evil AND NOW MY MAIN MAN GOT HIS POWERS BACK oh, I love the chaos
• NIKOLAI FUCKING CARRIES ZOYA'S RIBBON IN HIS POCKET nobody fucking touch me
• THE WEDDING IS FOR GENYA AND DAVID????? I AM SOOO CONFUSED what the heck
• Nikoali is the most fucking badass amazing cunning freakishly intelligent idiot I have ever seen in my entire life, my love for him is immesurable, I cannot put into words just how awesome his awesomeness is TAKE THAT MAKHI YOU BITCH
• OH HELL NO the demon is trying to escape SMACK THAT BITCH NIKOLAI BABY
• Oh wow, Rasmus is crazyyyy af he isn't anything like Nikolai my perfect boi SORRY
• OMG Nikolai's dad us a good guy??? I feel so sorry for him... SO NIKOLAI WAS RIGHT TO BE A ROMANTIC huh
• FUCKING HELL again with the nichevo’ya???? Darkling bby, what the HECK
• Nononononooo NO NOOOO NOT DAVID WHAT THE FUCK LEIGH
• "This is what love does" one of the most powerful quotes tbh
• Wait... they want to???? STEAL??? titanium from the Kerch??? .... DOES THIS MEAN.... C R O W S?????
• Okay but... the Darkling's POV? POWER MOVE I love it!!! And the fact that he uses Aleksander as his name with zero reticence now is just *chef's kiss*
• I'm sorry but... I don't like Mayu's chapters I AM SO SORRY I DON'T
• Nina is my badass queen STEP ASIDE PEASANTS
• All these SoC Easter Eggs and mentions are driving me insane
• Idk why but imagining the Darkling drinking beer is sooo funny to me
• I AM LOSING MY SHIT they are in Ketterdam KETTERDAM does that mean ....DOES THAT MEAN ....I better see my Crows or I am throwing hands
• The Zoyalai conversations in this book are KILLING me
• OH MY FUCKING GOD so Kaz took the Emerald Palace over and renamed it THE SILVER SIX???? LIKE???? I AM LEGIT CRYING???
• Ummm...Zoya, honey, WHY do you want to VOLUNTARILY stay away from Nikolai, HUH?????
• THE ONLY REASON HE AGREED TO HELP NIKOLAI WAS BECAUSE HE GUARANTEES INEJ'S PROTECTION if that's not L O V E idk what is YAAASSS KANEJ
• FUCKING SHIT JESPER!!!! IT'S JESPER!!!! WYLAN!!!! I AM FAINTING MY BABIESS
• The Crows' banter is WHAT I LIVE FOR
• Kaz is the most cold, badass and calculating motherfucker on the planet, I love him soooo much
• No NO NOO JORAN IS THE ONE WHO KILLED MATTHIAS????? HOLY SHIT I am sooo scared LEIGH WHYYYY
• Kaz's reaction to Nikolai's demon is legit the funniest shit ever
• Kaz and Nikolai are bffs - THIS IS HEADCANON LEAVE ME BE
• Queen Leyti has severely disappointed me
• I am having waayyyyy too much fun reading about the Darkling among blindly faithful monks - this is the stuff of sitcoms
• (I know the Crows only had a cameo and they won't pop up again, but I can't help desperation wanting to see Nina reunite with them and PLEASE GIVE ME INEJ!!!)
• Honestly, it's pretty cool getting to have a look in the Darkling's head - it's SUPER fucked up
• OOOOO the blight vs the Darkling = the only confrontation I want to see
• FATHER AND SON REUNION
• I don't care much for Hanne x Nina, but I have to admit that they make a very cute couple
• FUCK THEY BROKE STURMHOND'S BLOCADE FUUUUCK
• WAIT NO it was their plan all along HOLY SHIT electricity RULEZZZZ who knew physics would prove THIS useful???
• UUUGHH FUCK THE APPARAT I am so sick of this guy - Zoya was right, they should have killed him
• I am really pissed at the Darkling- YOU FUCKING ACKNOWLEDGE HOW MUCH RAVKA NEEDS YOUR HELP, YOU SEE NIKOLAI'S BRAVERY, YOU KNOW YOU CAM HELP, AND YOU DO NOTHING??? BRO WHAT THE FUCK
• HELL YEAH ZOYA IS A DRAGOOON fuck some shit up sweety Y E S
• MY SKIN IS CLEARED AND MY CROPS ARE WATERED BY THE DARKLING RAISING A MOB TO CALL ZOYA "SANKTA"
• Also... the Darkling winking at Nikolai? FLERT
• WHAT THE FUCK???? HANNE DIED??? holy shit, why???? WHY CAN'T NINA BE HAPPY???????
• Nikolai is an absolute SAVAGE in a debate
• Idk what to think abt Rasmus... he was kinda badass for standing up against Brum
• SOLDIER. SUMMONER. SAINT. slap me and call me a hoe I SCREAMED WHEN I READ THAT
• ZOYA AS QUEEN, SIGN ME THE FUCK UP
• Okay I stan the Darkling again
• ZOYALAI IS CANON I REPEAT ZOYALAI IS CANONNNNN
• OKAY WOW HANNE IS A FULL-ON BADASS yep, I stan
• I really???? LOVE??? this ending for the Darkling??? Idk but it is VERY fitting
• ALINA!!!! AT ZOYA'S!!!! CORONATION!!!! my life is complete
• FUCKING SHIT INEJ!!! INEEEEEJJJJ my queen my love AAAAAA
• The conversation at the end between Alina, Zoya and Genya DESTROYED ME
• STEALING THE HEART OF SANKT FELIKS yes please BRING THE CROWS BACK!!!!! I NEED ANOTHER CROWS SEQUEL!!!!
• I fainted, I ascended, I DIED at the last page
• NOW I NEED A SEQUEL!!!
• Leigh, you ARE goig to write what happens next, right? RIGHT? RIGHT????
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BnHA Chapter 292: You Say Jeans
Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “well anyway here’s that Touya reveal I foreshadowed like a million years ago, viva la 2020.” Dabi was all “hello world, I’ve killed 30 people and today I’m going to explain to you all why” before he proceeded to explain ABSOLUTELY NOTHING but everyone was so distracted by his tale of child abuse and hero conspiracies that they didn’t much seem to notice. Can’t Ya See-Kun’s Shark Friend was all “IS THIS THE END OF HERO SOCIETY AS WE KNOW IT”, and Horikoshi was all “STAY TUNED”, and then Dabi set himself on fire and leaped off of Machia’s back like the chaotic evil, I-just-bleached-all-my-brain-cells weird little fire man he is, ready to burn everyone to crispy bits before they could even react properly to his whole big revenge speech. Fortunately he did not succeed on account of THE RETURN OF THE JING, THE JOAT, BEST FUCKING JEANIST, back from the dead by popular demand in what critics are calling “the best fucking comeback since Jesus himself.”
Today on BnHA: Best Jeanist snatches up Machia and the rest of the League with his fiber steel cables before you can say “more like BEAST JEANIST amirite.” Dabi gets all worked up and lights Hadou on fire which is a real JERK MOVE, and is all “THIS RIGHT HERE IS ALSO ENDEAVOR’S FAULT”, which, NOT SUPER CONVINCED ON THAT, BUT OKAY. Anyway so then he burns up all the cables holding him which is crazeballs btw, and then he and Shouto start fighting, and so basically the whole thing is a literal hot mess and we’ll see how that goes. Meanwhile Tomura wakes up and summons some Noumus, and poor Jeanist has to deal with those on top of the still-attempting-to-rampage Gigantomachia, and everyone else is all “we can’t help you on account of we’re all half dead”, and so it’s looking really bad. And then -- and I can’t stress enough how much I don’t even have the faintest idea how to segue into this next part -- the chapter ends with Mirio!?! just sort of POPPING UP OUT OF THE GROUND all, “SURPRISE, BITCH”, and it literally was so surprising that I am still just kind of speechless. WELL-PLAYED, I GUESS, lol wtf.
lol okay so the first page in the RHA scan is just the “three musketeers” movie promo image that we all already saw a few days ago. but it does confirm that (a) it is indeed a movie, and (b) that it’s set for a summer 2021 release! how exciting
okay so now back to our special Dabi edition of Making a Murderer
“ray of hope” oh hell yes. SAVE US MR. JEANIST
I guess he had a TV in his private hero jet or something?
gotta say, “dammit Dabi” does not even remotely sound like Authentic Best Jeanist Dialogue to me though. gonna need Caleb to see to this. well but what do you guys think? does Best Jeanist curse?? I personally feel like he’s one of those guys who NEVER EVER swears no matter what, except under the most hilariously trifling circumstances. like he’s eating an avocado one day and he accidentally stains the cuffs of his beloved jostume green and he’s all “FUCK”
btw how fucking rich is Best Jeanist though that he has his own fucking plane? the thought just suddenly occurred to me, you know? like even Endeavor, whose agency has its own on-site luxury apartment suites for all of his interns, still drives around in a dinky little car that Bakugou has declared to be too small. which, I guess we know why he felt that way now, seeing as the guy he previously interned with apparently gets around in Jeans Force One
anyway so back to the part where Jeanist shows up to save the day!! YEAH JEANIST WOOOOO
ILU JEANIST YOU REALLY ARE THE BEST!! HUGS AND KISSES!!!
lmao we just saw Gigantomachia take out like a hundred guys not ten chapters ago. and Best Jeanist shows up and takes him down in like two seconds. HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES LEAGUE OF VILLAINS. BET YOU’RE WISHING YOU’D TAKEN HIS QUIRK NOW, AFO. GET FUCKED YOU OLD SPUD
KACCHAN IS SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM AWW
SIDE NOTE, IIDA, YOU AND I ARE GONNA HAVE WORDS LATER ABOUT YOU ACTUALLY AGREEING TO PUT HIM BACK DOWN. YOU DO UNDERSTAND THAT THIS CHILD IS STILL DRIPPING BLOOD ALL OVER THE PLACE FROM HIS MULTIPLE STAB WOUNDS, RIGHT? WAY TO ASSERT YOUR AUTHORITY THERE. I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE CLASS PRESIDENT NOT THE CLASS CLOWN, COME ON NOW
LMAO DABI IS FRANTICALLY TRYING TO DO THE PLOT MATH
SHOULDA CHECKED MORE CLOSELY MY GOOD MARK. LOOKS LIKE YOU MISSED THE “MADE IN CHINA” STICKER ON THE BOTTOM. YOU HAVE BEEN BAMBOOZLED. OR ACTUALLY, I GUESS THE MORE ACCURATE WORD HERE IS JAMBOOZLED, AHAHAHAHA. JEANS
HOLY SHIT DABI
I legit almost thought that was Tomura for a second. you two look so alike now with the white hair and the crazy eyes
meanwhile, Shouto is still crying and it’s a lot to take, you guys. lotta feels
ffff come on Jeanist you better do something awesome again here, the mood of the chapter is starting to slip now
YES, GOOD, THAT’LL WORK
WELL YOU TELL ME, SPINNER. I GUESS THAT MEANS BEST JEANIST IS OFFICIALLY THE STRONGEST CHARACTER IN THE SERIES NOW. SORRY I DON’T MAKE THE RULES
ffff now Spinner is trying to wake Tomura back up. nah, how’s about we not do that
OH MY GOD HADOU YESSSS
MY GIRL OUT HERE WITH THE “NO THANK YOU” BOUT TO CURBSTOMP THE BIG BAD WITH HER QUIRK KSFHLKLK WHO HERE HAD “HADOU SAVES THE DAY” ON YOUR WAR ARC BINGO CARDS, YOU LOVE TO SEE IT!!
HEY!!!!
fucking son of a... fffkfkff... someone please reassure me that fire isn’t Hadou’s weakness. someone. anyone. also could someone please dial an ambulance and send them to Horikoshi’s house. but not just yet. first I’m gonna need you to wait about fifteen minutes or so while I take care of some things
well all right then, Dabi. so you wanna go on then and explain to us all how this, too, is somehow Endeavor’s fault?
oh I see, you’ve decided that since he’s responsible for “creating” you, everyone you hurt and kill is in truth really being hurt and killed by him! well now, that sure is convenient as fuck I guess
(ETA: that’s a nice effect with the panel sides getting all warped by Dabi’s quirk though, just noticed that.)
amazing how quickly you used up that sympathy card my guy. Shouto please kick his ass, I’m fucking done lol, you can all sort out the rest in therapy later
CAN SOMEONE PLEASE DIAL BACK DEKU’S EMPATHY STATS JUST A LITTLE BIT, HOLY --
“TODOROKI-KUN IS HURT THE MOST”, HE SAYS, WITH HIS ARM BONES SHATTERED INTO LITTLE TOOTHPICK-SIZED PIECES. I MEAN, HE’S PROBABLY TALKING MORE ABOUT MENTAL ANGUISH GIVEN THE CONTEXT HERE, BUT STILL. THAT’S ENOUGH HEROICS FROM YOU ALREADY FOR ONE DAY
NOOO JEANIST
LOTS OF SMOKE IN THE AIR RIGHT ABOUT NOW AND MY BOY’S STILL DOWN A LUNG. GOD DAMMIT
“if the number one suffers a total loss here, this country will fall to pieces” well okay, real talk though, I think the “country falling to pieces” part is pretty much unavoidable at this juncture. you all are just gonna have to try your best to pick up those pieces after the fact and see what you can do with them. if I were you I’d be less worried about the number one’s reputation and more concerned with the half-dozen child soldier interns who are still on the field and very much at risk of being burned to death should you suffer that “total loss.” please try to keep it together here for them
OH FOR FUCK’S
I really thought RockLockRock was gonna come into play here. USE YOUR QUIRK TO LOCK THE ROPES IN PLACE YOU DIP!! if he seriously just sits there and does nothing when his quirk could be the deciding factor I am cancelling his useless ass cute kid or no cute kid shfkjdls
(ETA: is he even there?? did he and Manual just hightail it out of there?? “well good luck, children.”)
also, we’ll put this aside for now to perhaps speculate about later, but what’s with Tomura remembering his dad’s house yet again in that far right panel?? and being itchy again?? I still have yet to fully work out the psychological mechanisms at work as far as his itchiness goes, so I’ll admit this is intriguing to me. it seemed like it was connected to his decay quirk, but then why is it acting up again now. what is this lol
yuh oh
forgot about these guys. looks like these heroes aren’t having such a fun time
oh fucksticks
excuse me ma’am but I don’t like this. you do know that my kids are all there, right. all burnt and impaled and broken-boned and the like. well except for Iida. he’s fine still. BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN I FEEL LIKE WATCHING HIM GET TORN APART BY FOUR HIGH ENDS, WTF
HORIKOSHI YOU MOTHERFUCKER I SWEAR TO GOD
god fucking... okay look. Horikoshi. you win, okay!? congratulations, you win, this is your show and we’re all just sitting here at your mercy. fine. go ahead and just kill off everyone ever, then!! what am I even gonna do about it. stop reading?? fuck
this whole thing really went from zero to fucked before I could even blink huh. I really thought this was gonna be a turning point chapter for the heroes. shows what I know I guess??
meanwhile this motherfucker is just SCREAMING
ngl, if I wasn’t currently terrified on account of things suddenly taking such a drastic turn for the worse, this would be the coolest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. Jeanist my man, I hype you up like it’s my job because you are the greatest fucking meme character in the history of time, but make no mistake, you are also highkey WORTH ALL THE HYPE AND THEN SOME
seriously, though. don’t fucking mind him you guys, he’s just standing here in the coolest pose of all time taking on Gigantomachia all alone with one fucking lung because the substance pumping through his veins is COLD-BLOODED LIQUID DENIM, and DENIM FEELS NO FEAR
Best Jeanist really needs to get his own theme song. -- oh my god I just finally thought of a title for this post. lmao and it’s the dumbest thing. omg
MEANWHILE THE TODOROKI BROS ARE OFF IN THEIR OWN DRAMATIC LITTLE FIRE WORLD
which one do you think is the Mario and which is the Luigi. well, but I mean, Dabi clearly thinks that he’s the Luigi though and that’s why he’s so mad. nobody wants to be Luigi. what a life
THAT’S IT, SHOUTO!! POINT OUT ALL OF HIS HYPOCRITICAL BULLSHIT, I WANT ANSWERS
JUST TO CLARIFY, IT’S THAT NATSU, NOT SOME OTHER NATSU!! SO WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF!!
OH, WELL IN THAT CASE
BUT OF COURSE. THAT WOULD MAKE IT ALL WORTHWHILE, holy shit. okay I’m just gonna go ahead and say it, Dabi is a piece of work. I really thought this arc would make him more sympathetic at long last, but it seems like it’s doing just the opposite?? this is like an anti-redemption arc. I don’t relish the thought of venturing into the fandom tags once I finish reading this lol
(ETA: well folks, I’ve done it. and actually it was pretty interesting because there are apparently like ten different things that people are mad about, and so it’s like. each post is a new adventure lmao.)
so Shouto is all “BRUH HAVE YOU COMPLETELY LOST IT” and Dabi is all “YES”, basically? like, he says he’s completely lost his feeling for anything. omg. but you were so sweet. how does that even happen
“finally I can kill you” okay for real what the heck is your damage bro?? can we not. I like Shouto just the way he is, un-killed
oh shit and now the Noumus are here
cue Bakugou diving in to save his mentor, STAB WOUNDS BE DAMNED!! actually it would make more sense for it to be Iida, but if Kacchan is really fixin’ to go full Shounen Dumbass here then he might as well go all out, y’know
-- unless of course, Deku decides to activate another quirk??
“last I checked, the main character of this series was still me” OH? WELL I SUPPOSE THAT IS TRUE, SO PRAY TELL, WHAT HAVE YOU GOT LEFT UP YOUR SLEEVE YOU SUICIDAL BRUSSELS SPROUT
fucking love how he’s all “HAHAHA WITH MY NEW QUIRKS I CAN STILL DO STUPID SHIT EVEN WITH MY ARMS AND LEGS GROUND TO A FINE POWDER” btw. what can I say. Deku gonna Deku
FMMFHDKUHK W H A T
HOLY SHIT. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. WHAT THE WHAT. QUE THE FUCK
(ETA: okay look, all the love in the world to the brave scanlators who take time out of their lives to translate the leaks every week just so we can read the chapter a couple of days early like the addicts we are. that said, translating Mirio’s signature “POWER!!” -- which was already written in English in the original scan -- to “POG-CHAMP” is just a whole new level of wtfuckery from them lmao. is the Lida person back at it again?? amazing.)
MIRIO!?!?! SHOWS UP TO SAVE THE DAY?!?! POGS HIMSELF UP OUT THE GROUND TO BEAT THE NOUMUS LIKE IT AIN’T NO THING. JUST LIKE WE ALL PREDICTED!? I’M SORRY, DID YOU NOT SEE THAT COMING?? YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOUR DAILY HOROSCOPE FROM ASTROLOGY DOT COM DIDN’T HAVE THAT ONE IN THE CARDS?? WAS IT NOT OBVIOUS?? TODOROKIS PLUS BEST JEANIST EQUALS MIRIO??
hot damn. Tintin really saw the writing on the wall with the impending Dabi Discourse and was all “NOT SO FAST” lmao. “HERE’S A BRAND NEW THING FOR YOU ALL TO DISCOURSE ABOUT” MIRIO YOU WILD CHILD. YOU GLORIOUS THUG
MEANWHILE LET’S NOT FORGET WHAT MIRIO HAVING HIS POWERS BACK ACTUALLY IMPLIES. HOLY SHIT. SUDDENLY WE CUT BACK TO ALL MIGHT’S OFFICE, ALL THE WAY BACK AT UA. ERI BRANDISHES HER TOKOYAMI-GIFTED BUSTER SWORD, A DETERMINED GLEAM IN HER EYE. “I HEARD YOU WERE TRYING TO HAVE A GIRL POWER ARC WITHOUT ME.” OH. MY. GOD
#bnha 292#best jeanist#todoroki touya#dabi#todoroki shouto#midoriya izuku#hadou nejire#toogata mirio#bnha#boku no hero academia#bnha spoilers#mha spoilers#bnha manga spoilers#makeste reads bnha
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Gamzee and Me.
Hey everyone! This is a Murder or sober Gamzee fanfiction with the reader. I love writing fanfictions, and I was originally going to make this just a fanfiction for me, but I decided to share it to the world. Im really proud of it so I hope you all like it! Here we go!
TW: Violence, Blood, Injuries, Sober/Murder Gamzee.
honk.
HONK.
honk.
HONK.
:o)
The honking had been happening for such a long while, not stopping no matter how far they ran, no matter where they went, the honking just continued. It filled the halls, all the rooms, and it would always get louder. They continued to run, running out of breath, legs hurting as if they would collapse if they took one more step. No matter how far, it felt as if the honking got nothing but louder and closer. It filled their head. Everything was chaos in the meteor, Nepeta, Feferi, Tavros, Eridan, and Equius, they were all dead. Sollux was blind, Kanaya was a rainbow drinker, and Gamzee had… gone insane. He was responsible for the deaths of Nepeta and Equius, and apparently, had been chasing down Karkat for such a long while. Speaking of which, he nor Terezi could be found, and Y/N just wanted to find someone alive….someone sane, they were scared and panicked, especially with the honking, the intense noise of the murderous clown-like troll basically following them. It filled their head, bouncing through their ears and not leaving them alone. As they ran, running through the dark halls, they put their hands over their ears.
“Fuck fuck fuck!” They said to themselves as they sprinted, as fast as they could, just trying to get away from what seemed to be Gamzee chasing them. Closing their eyes, shutting them tight, they were scared. The (insert blood color here) troll had been running for so long, going through this maze of a meteor. They weren’t even originally supposed to be here, but as the group of 12 trolls had decided to play the game of sgrub, they were dragged along, now stuck there without any way back to their planet. With what happened, their new world, their prize for beating the game was destroyed, they had been living on this meteor, talking to humans and such, trying to help them through their own game, but now, with the start of Gamzee going missing, everything had gone to the worst. More than half of them were dead, injured, or just bat shit crazy. The fear they felt in their chest was like a knife in their chest that kept getting yanked out over and over again.
Closing their eyes was probably the biggest mistake they had made. There was a reason why the honks seemed to be getting louder as they ran because as they did, they fell down a large flight of stairs. They let out a scream, hitting their bones in the hard edges, and even hitting their forehead. Soon enough though, they landed at the end of the flight, groaning as the pain of falling erupted their body. At least two ribs and his arm were broken, and now they had a gash on their forehead, blood running down their face.
“Shit..” They mumbled, sitting up against a wall, putting their hand against their bloodied head. They brought their arm out, looking at the blood on their hand before hearing another loud honk. It felt as if the honking had stopped while they were falling, and so when they heard the noise, they jolted, being startled. They looked down the hall, seeing a figure with long curled horns, holding clubs. Their eyes widened and they stood as quick as they could, running right back up the stairs, colored tears beginning to form in their eyes. They didn’t want to die. Apparently, they were heading towards where Gamzee was, and when Y/N had fallen down the stairs, he had been watching the whole time. The fear they felt, was even more intense now that they had seen him. The clown had blood all over him, from his face to his clothes. His eyes were red instead of the normal orange… he was a scary force to behold.
“Please….please…” They whispered, running and running, just wanting to get to someplace where they could hide. But as they ran, they ended up tripping on some random rubble, falling on their face. They curled up for a moment, holding their nose as a loud crack had come from their face as they fell. They broke their nose. A creepy chuckle was heard behind them, and they shot up, looking at the clown who was oh so close. Their eyes widened, tears beginning to fall down their face.
“Gamzee…please don’t hurt me.” They said as they scooted back, trying to turn and run again, but before they could even stand from the position they were in, their wrist was grabbed harshly by a bloodied hand. They whipped their head towards Gamzee who lifted them off the ground from their broken arm. They winced at the pain.
“...it hurts please..stop..” They said out of pure desperation to live. Tears streamed down their face as they struggled. They didn’t want to die, not here, and definitely not by Gamzee’s hands. Gamzee raised an eyebrow with his menacing smile.
“IT HURTS? well, maybe THE MESSIAHS wouldn’t have led me to you brother IF THEY DIDN’T WANT ME to motherfucking HURT YOU.” He said as he brought them closer to his face. They looked at him in the eyes, and with how close they were, Y/N brought their head back and then headbutted him harshly. It made them dizzy, sure, but it caused Gamzee to let go, and drop them. They hurried to their feet, sprinting off once more, and they could hear a slight growl from behind. That definitely angered the troll. They let out a shaken breath, running towards the place they originated from when they started running. They were mumbling to themselves about Gamz, thinking about how he would never...never hurt them right? This couldn’t be him, they were so close before this. He called them one of his best friends, and of course, Karkat was his Moirail, but he was just such a close friend to them. They felt so betrayed and so hurt, they just wanted to collapse right there, but adrenaline kept them going.
No matter how far they ran, the honking continued to close in. They ran into the main room, the original room they were all in, and there laid Feferi on the horn pile. Y/N was always close to Feferi and the others, so seeing her gone hurt, just as much as the betrayal of Gamzee. They quickly glanced around. That’s right, they almost forgot about Gamzee, and so they ran under one of the desks to hide. It was their best bet right now.
Then Gamzee came into the room. His footsteps, his honks, any noise he made, it felt like would destroy their eardrums each time. They put their hands over their ears, talking deep, quiet breaths, praying to themselves that he wouldn’t find them. Then the sound of chairs began to move, and so, they glanced up, and right there in front of them, his red eyes glared into them, into their soul. Their heart dropped, mumbling apologies and pleads to him, just wanting to survive.
They were pulled out of under the desk, being forced out into the open. They squeezed their eyes shut, causing more tears to fall, their breath quickening. Gamzee held them up once more by their wrist and he would chuckle a bit before throwing them into the opposite wall. They shouted out of pain, curling up against that wall, shaking and whimpering. They weren’t usually this weak, actually one of the strongest emotionally in the group, but this was a whole new level. Their heart was pounding in their chest, pain consumed them, and so did fear. They didn’t want this.
His footsteps were heavy as he began to walk back over to them, he would bring his club up, getting ready to hit them across the had for the last finishing blow to kill them, but something stopped him. He looked back, as someone had grabbed the club he was using, and there stood none other than Karkat Vantas. His eyes widened, and Gamzee would yank the club out of his hands, elbowing him in the stomach, causing the mutant blood troll to be pushed back, right onto the ground.
Y/N looked up at Gamzee, distracted by the other troll. Even with broken ribs, broken arms, a pounding head, they would stand. Using the wall behind them, gripping onto the rough rock, and would grab Gamzee by the collar of his shirt, causing him to whip his head back over to them, and they pulled him into a kiss. They always felt red feelings towards him, but this isn’t how they wanted to tell him. The troll’s eyes widened and he would slowly succumb to the kiss, putting his arm down, dropping the club, leaning into Y/N. They would separate themselves from him, mumbling an apology before hitting him right in the neck, knocking him out. He collapsed in their arms, and they would gently put him down as they too went to the ground, knees collapsing on them, and they would start to sob. Their entire body hurt from the emotions and physical pain they felt. Karkat’s eyebrows furrowed, walking over to them, looking down at the unconscious troll, he would sit next to Y/N.
“YOU DID GOOD. IT’S...GOING TO BE OK.” He said to them. Y/N said nothing and only curled up, putting their knees to their chest, wrapping their arms around themselves, sobbing into their arms. This was the worst day of their life. Karkat would wrap his arms around them in a comforting way...How could this happen? How could this become of them all? It was so..horrid.
#fanfiction#Gamzee Makara#Murder Gamzee#Sober Gamzee#Sober Gamzee makara#x Reader#Homestuck#self insert#Gamzee x reader
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Loki ranting
Okay. I had this thought in my head of like just compiling links of all the Loki shit I've posted/reblogged so far so that when I get into a conversation about the show and how it fucking disgusted me, I can just be like "here. here's this masterlist post, go read all this shit. This is my entire argument, and not only mine, but a lot of stuff posted by people far more intelligent and level-headed and eloquent than I am, whom I happen to agree with." Because the alternative is constantly getting fired up all over again, and that is exhausting.
BUT! I'm stupid and don't know how tumblr works. Apparently I can't just be like "give me all the Loki-tagged shit I've got" I can only search all the Loki-tagged shit on all of tumblr. And I'm not scrolling back through all of my posts. I talk too fucking much for that shit 😂
So, I'll try to remember all of my grievances with how the MCU has treated Loki, and all of the excellent posts made by other, equally upset fans, and put it all together here under this nice, neat little cut for everyone else's sanity and scrolling convenience...
For people who actually read my shit fairly regularly - bless you, you crazy, patient people. I love you! - this is going to be a lot of repetition of shit you've already read. Probably at least twice. I'm passionate and I have a terrible memory lol. Sorry.
Anyway, first, for those who don't know me and haven't been following my explosions of rage for the past couple of months, some quick background: I do not read comic books, so Loki's Marvel comic canon means nothing to me. I know almost nothing about it. The reason I'm so in love with the character in the MCU is because I am an eclectic witch and the deity I've actively loved and worshiped the longest in my life (literally for as long as I can remember) is Loki. So when he was mentioned in The Mask, I squeed. When they named Matt Damon's character after him in Dogma, I cheered.
When Thor came out in 2011, I just about died from happiness. I was hungry for any representation of this underappreciated god, no matter what it was. I didn't even bitch about how underpowered he was, because at least he was there. But I'm getting slightly ahead of myself.
I can hear anyone reading this going "Why Loki? Isn't he, like, evil? Like basically the Norse version of The Devil?" Because I heard all this shit irl all the fucking time. And no. So let me give you a quick rundown of who Loki actually is.
Loki is a Trickster God. He's often referred to as the God of Mischief. He is not and never was evil, simply chaotic and hedonistic. Loki Laufeyjarson was the son of Laufey (that's mama; they changed her to a man for some reason in the movie) and Fárbauti. Right from the start, from his name, we get a sign of how Loki goes against traditional norms of the time, because in Norse culture, families were patrilineal, and surnames were "son/daughter of father" (which would have made him Loki Fárbautitason), not the mother. But Loki's surname is matrilineal. Feminist icon woo! lol
Though he's a Jotunn, Loki is counted among the Gods (Aesir) in Norse tradition. Depending on his mood, he is alternately helpful or disruptive to the other Gods. I'm not gonna sit and teach a whole text class on him lol but I'll use my favorite example of Misunderstood Loki - the conception of Sleipnir!
So, get this shit. This is also part of why I DO NOT follow Odin and never fucking will (a very small part, but still part of the reason). So, the other Norse Gods are petty motherfuckers, and they wanted some shit built but didn't want to pay the dude doing the building. So they were like "okay, if you can get it done in X amount of time, we'll pay you, but if you can't manage it NO MATTER WHAT, this whole thing is free." And they made sure he had NO help, nothing but him, his materials, and his Very Good Horsey. And this guy and his horse were fucking BAMFs. So it was looking like he was definitely gonna get it done in time, and Odin was like "nah, fuck that shit. I'm cheap." and so he sent Loki to distract the work horse. Loki transformed into a mare and lured the horse away, got fucked, got pregnant, gave birth to the 8-legged (for some reason) horse Sleipnir. Odin rides Loki's son into battle. Um. Kay.
So Loki helped Odin be a petty mf, and Odin got himself a new pet out of the deal.
Oh, also, because he's smart af and a shapeshifter and a master magician and genderfluid, Loki "fails" to fit the super fucking toxic and narrow Norse/Aesir view of "a real man". He prefers intelligence and manipulation to solve problems rather than violence, he's not afraid to behave like a clown if it gets shit done, and that grosses the Aesir out, so they constantly ridicule him for being "less than a man".
Loki is the God of the outcast and the misunderstood. The marginalized people from all walks of life. He is the God of the LGBT community. In modern terms, he's pansexual, polyamorous (married to Sigyn and they are deeply in love, but boy gets around and I've never seen any indication that Sigyn gives a shit) and genderfluid.
Okay. Focus, Ali. This is part of why I usually post multiple rants instead of one big long one XD The longer I ramble, the more I get sidetracked and forget the original point.
So. Loki's awesome, and being a Trickster, is powerful as all fucking hell. There's not much he can't do.
And now we come to Thor (the movie, not the deity). Loki's there! 24-year-old Ali is spazzing! All is right with the world!
Oh lord, they've actually done him justice?! Amazing! He's complex and nuanced and emotional, just like the real Loki! I loved this movie. Loved. It. The climactic thing with trying to blow up Jotunheim never really made much sense to me until someone made an excellent point the other day about Loki being raised in a racist society that was racist against his own race, he just didn't know it yet, poor child. Baby Thor was never corrected when he pledged to commit mass genocide, so Baby Loki probably absorbed the lesson then that Jotunns=evil and killing them all will win his father's love. Anyway, 2011 Loki was a beautiful, heartbreaking portrayal of the God I've loved all my life and spent 24 years longing to see depicted on the big screen.
Then The Avengers happened. And I saw another Loki very close to Norse mythology - mainly, how he's treated. In the beginning of the movie, he's sick, exhausted, and in pain. He can hardly stand, he stumbles and needs help when he walks. He was very obviously tortured, and the sickly blue light of the scepter's control is in his eyes. That gets less and less pronounced as the movie goes on, showing Loki working his way free of it, but in the beginning, he's a mess. Because he was tortured and used by Thanos. Marvel directly confirmed this, and that he was under the scepter's/Mind Stone's control. Loki's actions are not his own in The Avengers. He's under both threat and Thanos' direct control. The movie actually shows The Other directly threatening him to keep him on task, because this is not Loki's plan. It is not what he wants. He's being used and villainized... Just like in real life. It hurt to see this done to him, but the accuracy was too beautiful to ignore.
Thor: The Dark World comes out. I've heard people complain that this movie is the weak link in the Thor trilogy. I disagree. I think that's Ragnarok, for a bunch of reasons, but we'll get there. (And for the record, I loved Ragnarok, too. It was a funny movie. Infinity War and the Disney+ series are the only portrayals of Loki in the MCU that I truly fucking hated.) Anyway, good, fun movie. Had its faults, as all movies do, but it still followed Loki's real-life arc in a way. How? By having Loki dragged back to Asgard in chains and imprisoned underground. Again, not super happy that this happened to my love, and having to see it on screen was painful, but at least in the MCU he's not chained to a rock with venom dripping on his face for eternity, so there's that. (poor Sigyn. how tired do her arms get, holding up that bowl? best wife ever, amirite?)
In TDW, we're shown Loki's love for Frigga, who favored him and taught him magic as a child. We see his bravado; his attempts to mask his true feelings, especially grief. We see him slowly coming back to himself after the events of The Avengers, and slowly mending his relationship with his brother. He accepts that Odin will likely never love him, but Thor just might, because they were close when they were young. "I didn't do it for him." No, no my sweet, you did it for your brother, and a little out of guilt for what happened to your mother.
At the end, Loki fakes his death and escapes, taking the throne, and I have mixed feelings about this. Not the writer's choices here; I love that completely! A natural progression in Loki's story. But my joy is tainted by how closely they're following the Eddas now. Because Loki's escape from his prison heralds the beginning of Ragnarok. And Loki will die in Ragnarok. I don't want to see that play out in front of my face. I won't be able to handle the grief (spoiler alert! IW broke me. I almost walked out of the theater. Loki's death was legitimately fucking traumatic for me. I don't even care how pathetic that is. That grief was real, it was intense, and I still shake and cry when I think about it.)
Marvel announces that Thor 3 will be called Ragnarok. The internet treats this as a shocking revelation. I roll my eyes and mumble "duh" to myself and move on XD
Then they say Ragnarok will be a buddy comedy. I throw up a little in my mouth and no longer want to live on this planet. If they're going to make something called Ragnarok, could they at least treat it with even a fraction of the respect they've shown these characters thusfar? Jfc. I mean, I'll see it anyway, because I'm a whore for Tom Hiddleston lol. But come on, people!
I hated that they made Hel the long-lost older sister and Fenrir her fucking pet/attack dog. Those are my favorites of Loki's children! Hel is such an incredible badass that the early Christians named their dimension of eternal torture after her! They were terrified of her, to the point of naming the place that terrified them most after her. That's awesome! And Fenrir's just the best. I love wolves. Those two details, and Odin's retcon of "we're not Gods! ...lol, except your sister. she's totally a Goddess. and def gonna kill literally everything, so... good luck! byyyeeeee" pissed me off royally.
The rest was great. I genuinely liked this movie. Still do. And they finally used The Immigrant Song! That was pretty cool. If they'd thrown in Bring the Hammer Down and Thunderstruck, I might've called this movie perfect. XD
I wasn't totally in love with their portrayal of Loki in Ragnarok. Yes, the falling for 30 minutes line was funny, as was "I have to get off this planet" and "YES! That's how it feels!" And "Get Help" was funny as hell. But also, like... There is no way Loki would have been the dumb one in that first encounter with Hela. Also, he can teleport and project copies of himself and shit, so... He would not have been that desperate to go straight back to Asgard and bring her right along with them. Loki's not stupid. But whatever. Movie's gotta movie.
What I did love was seeing the slow mending of his relationship with Thor continuing, and the badass fighting on the bridge. I also loved that, like Real Loki, Movie Loki helped when help was needed, was quick and clever, and while he was carrying out the main plan, he was also planning ahead and grabbing the Tesseract. Yes, that drew Thanos right to them, but that's a whole other thing. Loki never would have left that thing on Asgard to be destroyed or lost.
And now Infinity War. Hooooly fucking shit. You know what? No. I'm not going into this. He was killed, years of character growth were erased forever, my heart fucking shattered. The end.
Endgame. IW hurt me so bad I didn't see Endgame until this year. I actually watched Civil War first (for context: I had actively avoided all Cap movies until this year because I fucking hate Steve Rogers. I find him insufferable. Did not realize what I was denying myself until I watched CW and finally saw the charms of Bucky. When he appeared in IW, I was so lost. XD I was like "...who dis? Murder Jesus?" also I just... didn't care. I was numb by then from crying through most of the movie over Loki)
So, anyway. Endgame. Loki picks up the Tesseract in alternate 2012, escapes, fans go "yay! he didn't actually die!" I go "yes he fucking did. Five years of his life, gone. Five years of growth and change, erased. Loki is dead. This will not be the same."
I was more right than I could have predicted. Now we come to the point of this rant. Sorry it took so long, but you were warned lol.
The Loki series makes me so angry I actually get sick to my stomach. It was fucking TRASH. When I praised Marvel for following Norse mythology so faithfully earlier? Yeah. I DID NOT MEAN TREAT HIM THE WAY THE OTHER GODS DID. I did not mean paint him as a pitiful clown, a joke, a caricature of who he truly was, with his pain and suffering played for LAUGHS.
This is supposed to be 2012 Loki, newly freed from Thanos' control. The Loki we saw in the beginning of TDW - snarky, exhausted, nihilistic. The Loki who rolled his eyes and said "get on with it" expecting to be killed.
The bumbling clown flipping on a dime from posturing to calling himself weak is not 2012 Loki. That is not ANY Loki. That is Tom Hiddleston in a black wig doing what he's told by a shitty writer who had no fucking idea what he was doing and was salty about his (bad) original script (for something totally fucking unrelated) getting killed.
In Episode 1, Loki is mocked, imprisoned, stripped against his will, tormented, belittled, and given a flippant summary of all the trauma Actual MCU Loki suffered that this one skipped out on, with no context, no acknowledgement of the trauma he's already lived quite fucking recently, and with the narrative twisted to not only erase all the abuse he's suffered, but to make it all his fault. And this is supposed to make him want to help these people?
And worse, IT FUCKING WORKS. WHAT?! I CAN'T- FUCKING WHAT?! Remember when I said LOKI IS NOT FUCKING STUPID?! So why is he STUPID?
Episode 2, he's a child. Mentally, this Loki is a fucking child. Now we've erased all the growth and development of his entire adult life. He's dopey, impatient, impulsive, desperate for a pat on the back and actually shows it. Yes, abused and neglected children crave the positive attention we never received, and we often grow up to be a bit emotionally stunted. But not all of us, and not Loki. Not as we've seen him EVER in the rest of the MCU. Playful and a bit callous at times? Absolutely! But not a big dumb fucking puppy.
Episode 3, a ray of hope, despite Sylvie! (I hate Sylvie) Loki casually admits he's pan/bi; labels never come up, but he admits to being with both men and women! He sings! Not really relevant to whether I approve of his portrayal or not lol but Tom has a beautiful voice, Norwegian ("Asgardian" lol) is a gorgeous, entrancing language, and I could watch that one bit on loop for eternity and never get bored. And then, finally, we see a glimpse - a glimpse - of Loki's power! He stops a falling building and pushes it right back up! Are we finally getting to see what he can really do? Will the next episode bring us Loki in all his glory?
Nope. 4 and 5 we see him mocked and pushed around and utterly irrelevant. Again. We see tiny reflections of what he could maybe theoretically do in other random Loki variants, but the "main" (lawl. main. it was the Sylvie and Mobius show. Loki was never the main anything.) Loki? Nothing. He wears his heart on his sleeve for no reason, bonds with the man who imprisoned, taunted, and gaslit him, is killed, and continues to be a moron and a joke. Always the clown. Always the dumb one. The one with the bad ideas. The inferior Loki.
Don't even get me started on that finale. I can't. This already took so much out of me. Fuck Marvel. Fuck this fucking show. I just... I'm done.
#loki#loki spoilers#loki series#loki negativity#loki hate#thor 2011#the dark world#ragnarok#the avengers#infinity war#endgame#fuck sylvie#fuck marvel#fuck disney#this show sucked#ragepost#rant#long post#ali is angry
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i don't know why but 136.“I already know that I’m going to hell. At this point it’s really go big or go home.” and 137.“I’m not a damsel in distress. I’m a damsel doing damage.” are incredibly funny for me so jfjfufj
Omg Nana yes !! 😂 And this felt too much like reddie lmao so I just HAD TO write it for them.
(And tbh I’m pretty proud of what I wrote so I hope you’ll like it too. 🥺👉🏻👈🏻)
Ship : adult reddie (It 2019)
Notes : this takes place during the final fight with Pennywise. A little ✨fix-it fic✨ because we all know this is how it should’ve ended !
~~~~
Richie tasted bile at the back of his throat. All that running, and yelling, and being so fucking afraid wasn’t easy. Maybe if he’d had a healthier lifestyle, he wouldn’t feel so miserable right then... But yeah, it was a little too late for regrets. So he kept running, dodging Pennywise’s vicious attacks as best he could.
When he noticed that Eddie had fallen down, vulnerable to It’s atrocious claws, he barely hesitated before running straight to him. He grabbed a piece of scrap metal on his way, waving it vehemently while screaming all the atrocities he could think of. He reached Eddie at the same time as one of the tentacles and, with some kind of frenzy taking over him, he brought his makeshift weapon down on It and slashed the devilish arm in two. The clown screamed behind him, retracted what was left of one of his limbs. Richie grabbed Eddie by the collar, almost dragged him to one of the tiny caves that surrounded the place of the fight.
When he finally let go of Eddie’s vest, Richie realized how fast he had acted. He wasn’t feeling as scared anymore, he felt fucking ecstatic. Adrenaline ran through his body and, for a second, he thought it was better than alcohol or weed or any of the other drugs he had tested in his teenage years.
“Richie... Fucking hell, man,” Eddie panted, slowly standing back up, his legs still wobbly under him, “You just saved my fucking life.”
“Yeah, I- I fucking did, Eds. I feel like a fucking knight in shinning armor right now.”
“Oh and what does that make me then ? The damsel in distress ?” Eddie laughed when Richie nodded cheerfully. It seemed crazy to have such a nonchalant conversation when they had just escaped death... But it was them, and it had always been this way. And Richie wanted to keep being Eddie’s knight, dreamt of getting that famous happy ending...
But now wasn’t the time to daydream, Richie thought. They needed to get out of there. Richie made sure Eddie could stand firmly and they headed deeper into the cave. After a few more near death experiences, they found themselves back into the main cavern. The monster was even bigger than it had been when Richie cut one of his tentacles in two... Anger was boiling in Richie’s stomach, he felt it flow through his veins. When he saw Mike about to get eaten by the It, he did the first thing that came to his mind and threw a rock at the clown’s head. It was a fucking stupid idea, but it was the only one he had. Thankfully, it was enough for It to drop the loser he was holding. That gave Richie a little confidence boost and, when It turned around to face him, he decided not to run away. He grabbed a rock off the ground and, with all the strength he could find, yelled, “Yeah that’s right, let’s dance. Yippee kay yay, motherfuck-“
Eddie watched his best friend’s body drop dead, his limbs hanging loosely while he was stuck in the deadlights. He was terrified. But, in his fear, he heard a little voice. You’re braver than you think. You’re braver than you think. You’re braver than you think. You’re braver than you think. The voice was Richie’s. And, repeating this mantra to himself a few more times, Eddie decided he had to be brave. He grabbed a loose pole he found on the ground and launched himself at the monster.
“I’m not a damsel in distress. I’m a damsel doing damage,” he yelled while throwing the rod right into It’s horrendous mouth. Richie fell down and the clown cried with pain, curling up in his lair.
Eddie threw himself on Richie’s unconscious body, grabbed his shirt and shook him awake. “Did you see that, Rich ? Did you see it ? I think I killed It, I think I did it !”
Richie blinked a few times before realizing how close Eddie’s face was to his, how their body were pressed against one another... Then he looked up, saw Eddie’s triumphant smile. He felt his heartbeat pick up ; he knew it was now or never... Without thinking about it for another minute, Richie grabbed Eddie’s face and pulled him into a passionate kiss. At the same time, another one of the clown’s tentacles passed right over their heads, missing them both.
Before Richie could even register Eddie’s reaction to the kiss, they fled to another one of the small caves. They escaped in extremis. Richie was panting again ; damn that clown for making him work out that much ! When he finally looked at Eddie, time seemed to slow down around them.
“What was that?” Eddie asked so softly it was almost a whisper. He looked breathless too and Richie couldn’t help but wonder if it was because of their kiss or all the running...
“Another one of his ugly arms, I think. The fucker’s not dead yet.”
“No, I- I mean... That kiss.”
“Oh.” Richie took a deep breath. “I already know that I’m going to hell. At this point, it’s really go big or go home,” he tried to joke. When Eddie stayed silent, he added, “I just couldn’t help it, man. I’ve been in love with you since we were kids and I- I realized tonight might be my last chance to be honest with you. I just couldn’t die without you knowing that you are loved. Not only by me, obviously, but- but yeah. I love you, Eds.”
Eddie was looking away and Richie almost wanted to reach into his pockets to grab his inhaler ; he was about to have a fucking panic attack ! Now that the adrenaline was slowly fading away, he realized what he had just done. He had never been this vulnerable, at least not in a long time. He thought it would feel good -and it did, for a second-, but the silence between them was tearing him apart.
“Rich.” Eddie looked up, his gaze piercing right through Richie, which sent a shiver down his spine. “Remember when you told me that I was stronger than I thought?” His voice was soft, soothing. Richie hadn’t even realized he had taken a step forward. He nodded. “Well, I think you’re braver than I ever will be... Because I’ve been in love with you since we were 10, and never in a million year would I have found the strength to confess it to you.”
And, before Richie could really understand what this all meant, Eddie’s lips were on his. He had launched himself at the taller man, his hands linking behind his neck and pulling him down into a messy and desperate kiss. Richie stayed frozen for a few seconds, not even able to kiss him back. Eddie noticed it, broke the kiss but kept their foreheads close. He looked up at Richie and as soon as he did, Richie knew. He saw the pure honesty shinning in the back of his big brown eyes and he knew Eddie’s confession was as genuine as it could be. He cradled his face gently, rubbed his cheeks with his thumbs. He wanted to pinch them, but he knew Eddie hated that so he didn’t. Instead, he closed the gap between them by kissing him again. And again. And again. And he felt like he never wanted to stop kissing him. Every centimeters of his skin that was touching Eddie’s was burning deliciously ; he couldn’t even imagine how cold he would feel when they’d have to part ways. For a second, Richie thought it wouldn’t be that bad to die in that cave, to have this be his last moment. But then he broke the kiss and looked at Eddie who still had his eyes close... He thought about all the moments they could have together if they got out of there alive... And that was enough to give him all the confidence he needed to kill the entity that had been terrorizing him since he was a kid. Eddie kept his hands behind Richie’s neck and the kiss turned into a hug.
“Alright Eds,” Richie murmured into the other man’s ear, “how about we continue this after we kill this fucking clown ?”
“Sounds good to me.”
Eddie stepped back and, before he let go of Richie completely, placed a quick kiss on his lips. As innocent as it was, it sent shivers down Richie’s entire body on fire. He grabbed his hand, and headed back into the cave.
Right before they reached the entrance of their hiding spot, Eddie added, “Oh and don’t call me Eds,” with a smirk.
#richie tozier#eddie kaspbrak#reddie#request#fanfiction#it#it 2017#it 2019#it stephen king#fix it#mike hanlon#beverly marsh#bill denbrough#stanley uris#ben hanscom#fic#angsty#fluff#bill hader#james ransone#pennywise#it movie#it chapter two#richie and eddie
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Sixty Nine.
I think it’s taken me at least two days to recover from such an event, I have been such a mess. I can personally say that I felt terrible but also it was a good night, I am just catching up on everything. Like I can Google search my name and I have headlines about my birthday, I mean some are clowning at me crying, but jealous niggas do that, and it is annoying me. I am just looking at Dennis’ page, he posted a few pictures of the event, it’s nice what he put about me, but I think I am going to just snap on jealous niggas because I can’t be dealing thinking they can clown me, jealous motherfuckers like her ex’s like why are you checking for me, I ain’t checking for you but you there writing lines about me on social media, it’s weak. I really haven’t had the chance to actually speak to Robyn properly and actually say to her what she has done for me, I am just recovering. I know for a fact I haven’t ever drank like that in my life, I am missing hours of my life that I don’t remember. Pressing record as I stared at myself in the in the camera “I look rough, I need a shave” clearing my throat looking up at Rajad walking into the kitchen “I just want to thank everyone for the birthday wishes, as you know I had a very good night. It’s late but I just want to say thank you to everyone, I seen the birthday wishes just now because I am of course just catching up, feel rough still” I sighed out “I just thought I would do a video instead of just typing it out, I don’t do social media beef. You got an issue we can deal with it personally, just like I did before. I seen niggas clowning me, but I don’t care, I cried because I appreciate what my wife did and y’all can call me a bitch nigga, but she went above and beyond and I love her, she is my other half. Niggas don’t know what love is and it shows but a certain nigga, I see you and I ain’t scared to beat ya ass again” stopping the video just before Robyn walked in, I pressed send to put it onto my IG story.
Robyn sniggered at me “are you with us now? I can’t believe how long you been in bed for, baby two whole days?!” locking my phone and placing it on the counter, moving away from the counter “wow, I was a mess Robyn. I don’t drink like that, I don’t. Weed and booze, it was just. It took me out but man, I am just catching up with everything” shuffling towards Robyn, pecking her lips before hugging her close “oh my god, I just feel like I have missed out so much for those days. Thank you for taking care of me too” squeezing Robyn close “love you” Robyn cooed out “it’s ok, I know you was unwell but I am glad you’re with us” moving back from the hug “I have so much to thank you for, after you left everything was a blur, I do remember when I was dancing with Drake actually but then I was out” sitting on top of the counter “I am glad you’re ok, to see you in such a happy place Chris, I love to see it. I am so glad that the party was great, people keep talking about it” nodding my head “you got me so good Robyn, just thinking about it now I am emotional again. All of your family too, like Mel and Noella buying me a personal plate, like what? That is crazy, I feel like I am celebrating my twenty first again, it’s wild. It’s made up for every birthday I missed, I can’t thank you enough. I appreciate you Robyn and I got a little something, I may have been dying in bed, but I been planning, my family are coming to the home” Robyn’ eyes widened “erm, the home is a mess Chris. You didn’t say the in laws are coming” shaking my head “don’t worry about it, just that I called, and I said for them to wait another day and to come here. I appreciate you so much” Robyn stood between my legs, wrapping my arms around her “I love you so much, man. I can’t even” placing my hands over her bump “you and my daughter” Robyn gasped “you! Actually, you been talking too much when drunk, Rajad knows now. Everyone actually knows” I cringed “I am sorry, I didn’t know” she is unhappy, let me quickly start massaging her shoulders.
I am here massaging Robyn’ shoulders trying to calm her ass down, just because I know for a fact Robyn is very mad with me, I didn’t do this shit on purpose, so she needs to understand this “I just want to spend time with you, my family are leaving tomorrow too. I just think we haven’t had us time so take me away somewhere” nodding my head “I got you” kissing the back of her head “I am glad we are not having a boy, Camron kept trying to touch his dick and I was like no sir. This boy just wanted to keep touching it so honestly I am glad it isn’t” I snorted laughing “that shit don’t stop, you know how much I play with mine” I really want a son now, I need one in my life to be just like me “I think they are here” the buzzer went off “I swear I feel a mess Chris, you could have told me” Robyn moved away from me, jumping off the counter and making my way to the door. Majesty is a pest, she is always running out of the living room, these crawling babies is not it “hey, little brat” jogging over to her, picking her up and making my way to the front door Unlocking the door, oh I didn’t open the gate. Going back inside, pushing the button to open the gate. Placing my feet in the slides “hey, hey. Young lady, stop the slapping” I chuckled, shuffling outside “we were waiting for so long” my mother poked her head around and walking over to me “aww my baby boy” walking over to them “hey mom, welcome to my home” hugging my mom “son, this is amazing. Oh wow, this is very Hollywood” my dad has his glasses on, so he is really going to check every part of the home, he is in-expecting the home.
My family are so amazed by the home, this is just outside “come in, come” Majesty wrapped her arms around my neck, she is so precious “I am shocked, like this home is amazing Chris. Now I know why you love it here so much” walking back inside, Robyn side eyed me “why are you annoyed with me? You’re so annoying” I laughed at her “shut up, hey my beautiful mother in law. Look at you! The tan, you been out in the sun” I am glad I caught Robyn off guard “the family is here” Rorrey came out of the office, he has been using it, I told him to try and make his own little something for himself for my clothing line, I am open to ideas “hi boss” Rorrey shook my dad’ hand “the family is here, you never said” everyone seems annoyed I never said, maybe they wanted to make a good entrance “sis, the only person that annoys me is Chris” Robyn said to Tootie “he didn’t say anything, I have not cooked a thing. I feel so bad, your first time here and I have done nothing” I grinned “Robyn, I know your pain. He is an ass” rolling my eyes, they all mad now.
These ladies are mad “like I know y’all are mad but come on, I come in peace and honestly when you hear why, you will all love me” Robyn mean mugged me “what it is, this is the first time my mother in law has come to the home so I wanted to make an good impression but instead she has come and I look a mess, the home is a mess, I have made no food for them. It’s their first time here Chris do you not get that” I laughed a little “I do but baby my mom doesn’t mind, you’re beautiful anyways but hear me out. It’s Mother’s Day coming up so I did something nice for you all, I have the SUV coming and he taking you to a spa, all of you. I hired it out for you ladies, I will take care of Majesty and Desean, this is y’all time to have just some peace and quiet and after I am paying for the meal at Robyn’ favourite place, this is on me. Mom, Tootie, Monica, Noella and Robyn. My beautiful mother to be, Happy Mother’s Day, now can we stop the hate train” they all look pleased “really baby, oh my god. That sounds so much fun” my mom said “yeah, y’all can bitch about me there but I hired the whole place, Robyn can get the wax she needs” I snorted laughing “shut up!” she spat, her coochie need it cause she ain’t doing it “Happy Mother’s Day ladies” I grinned, Monica cooed out “he is a good man, thank you Chris” I grinned feeling so proud of myself.
I am super proud of myself “I love you” feeling a pair of arms around my torso “oh now you saying it” turning around in Robyn’ arms “you know I do, I just like to impress my guests Chris that is all. But baby that is so sweet, so you did all of that while you was in bed and I was slaving away” nodding my head “I sorted it all out for you, I want you to relax ok?” pecking Robyn’ lips “thank you and you ass, talking about wax. I want you to do it for me, how about that?” I snorted laughing “I will, if you want me too? Not in a bad way, I thought you may want to, you know. Feel fresh” wrapping my arms around Robyn “mhmm I will let you off mister thoughtful, that is the sweetest. I get to spend time with both of the momma’s too, I think I need it after the stress of someone” I chuckled “I wonder who that is” I sniggered “also I may just tell them about the gender, it’s just silly now because you ruined that part. And then Rajad will end up letting it slip so yeah, I will just tell them, or we both can later?” nodding my head “yeah for sure we can, I am so sorry about that” I feel bad that I did it “I am so excited about it, I am really you know, I didn’t mean it in a bad way” Robyn sighed out “I know, this is why I am not that mad” she is the cutest.
Placing my arm around my nephew, he is loving it being at the house “how has school been anyways? You are being good there, you know my sister will tell me if you ain’t” the home is actually so much calmer without the women here, they are always causing some type of drama over nothing “I am being good, people want to be my friend now. I told mom because they didn’t want to talk to me, but they are now, mom said they are fake. Everyone is asking me to get an autograph form Rihanna and I said no and then the boy called me a fake nigga for it, and I can’t be your nephew” frowning “Desean don’t let nobody tell you different, fuck them. They are jealous because us as a family are ok, they are haters, and you remember that. Those people that want to be friends you now and didn’t before are fake, don’t let that shit happen to you. You know I got you when you want to talk” kids are nasty as hell “I know I am just concentrating on Football and keeping myself lowkey, it doesn’t really upset me because I am winning. Rihanna is amazing” I breathed out laughing “she is” I agreed with my nephew.
The ladies came back looking refreshed, we just finished eating, I bought the boys pizza. Robyn is glowing even more “you good?” Robyn placed her hand on my shoulder and leaned down “I want a word with you” I frowned instantly, what did I do “come, we will be back” Robyn walked off, what the hell even happen “Chris, thank you so much for that. I feel so refreshed” getting up from the chair nodding my head “it’s ok” following Robyn, I am raking my brain just thinking what have I done. We just went into the corner “I seen your little video on IG, why react Chris that is what he wants, and they want” I shrugged not caring “you just want me to accept it, I will knock his ass out again. I don’t care, laughing that I cried. I am just saying that what is wrong with me crying? Because I appreciate what you have done for me, he is a pussy ass nigga!” I spat “and I just think, I am not saying what you said is wrong but don’t let him or anyone get to you, ok? So what if you cried, you appreciate me” I sighed out “I do, but if he wants to start then we can you know” I shrugged, I don’t even care who says what but it’s him that I hate.
Seeing as I ruined the secret between her family, Robyn feels like she has to say it because it’s pretty much only her mother that doesn’t know in her side so we might as well say it “we have a little announcement, well I do anyways because Chris has a big mouth” placing my arm around Robyn laughing, I can’t even front it is my fault “you already married so what next? Twins?” My dad jokes “how you know?” I said “really!?” my dad spat “see, I got you there but yeah. Robyn got this because I been just ruining her little thing” I am going to let Robyn say her thing “yeah, I am not angry at him but I feel it is unfair, but can we just keep it in this room for now, if we can try. We all are a gossips aren’t we but yeah, so we. Chris and I, we found out the gender together” Robyn lied, I put my head down because I know I didn’t, I wasn’t there “and it’s very exciting because honestly I am over the moon, so is Chris with his big mouth. We are having a baby girl!” Robyn yelped out “granddaughter!?” my dad shouted, all my dad is doing is shouting shit “yes dad” I laughed, my dad shot up smiling “I am so happy for you, oh my god!” my dad is excited as hell “awww mom don’t cry” Robyn said, the family is so emotional.
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Thoughts on Kobra?
many, always
trans and gay as hell. he/him nonbinary kinsey 6 ass motherfucker.
i love an angry kobra. it’s so easy to push his buttons or get him riled up, especially the day before his T shot. he’s not afraid to start swinging, but he wouldn’t hit another person unless he was defending himself or the other person hit first
very dry and sarcastic sense of humor, comes off as rude if he’s not paying attention
really fine motor skills and incredibly dexterous with his hands, he’s good at any kind of precise skill like lock picking or card tricks
can come off as cold but really he’s pretty shy. i think growing up in the city he didn’t have a lot of friends (if any) that weren’t poison’s friends, so he really had to learn to talk to new people and he wasn’t very good at it at first
that being said, i think once he does get to know someone he really opens up and they get to see sides of him that only poison saw for a long time
[n/s/f/w here] after he lost his virginity in the desert, he had a little bit of a crazy streak where he would fuck pretty much any dude he could. it was a combo of being stupid horny his first year on T and also the knowledge that like...no one was going to stop him. he mellowed out a bit after a while but he’s usually down to clown
he has a little bit of an addictive personality. anything he can get hooked on, he probably will. it’s gotten him in pretty big trouble before, so the others in his crew try and keep him away from dangerous things he’s gotten into before
#retrograde-raven#killjoys blogging#kobra kid#i have never in my life projected onto kobra and i don't know where anyone would get that idea#thank u for the ask tho!!! i am always down 2 talk about my fave boy
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“Despite the danger (Part 2)”
Arthur Fleck/Joker x Reader
Summary: Joker is the love of your life; despite the reputation it carries. You know that, but you don’t care, after he rescued you from a horrible hole you were trapped in. Now, you both live your lives together, but you ignore all the risks that come with being the lover of the Clown Prince of Crime.
This is the continuation. Part one here (Idk how put links in tumblr AAAAAA)
Warning: Description of violence, smut (Oh yeah), unprotected sex, oral sex, and fluff cause why not.
Words: 3.2k
Notes: OMFG I’M SO SORRY I KNOW I KNOOOW It took me about a month to post the second part, you have no idea what happened to me in all these weeks! New job, a little move, trying to survive, creative block (I’m suffering with this one), I almost itchy a scorpion, I didn't have Internet for two weeks, for a moment I thought I was in contact with someone with COVID-19 and fortunately that someone was sick from something else (Pneumonia in case you had doubts), I started to be attracted to a guy who turned out to be a criminal (HAHA later I'll tell you how this shit was over) anyway, too many weird things happened to me.
Finally I can post the second part, and the truth is that it is the first time I write smut or something in English :'0 honestly I think it was sexy, but I still feel a little ashamed (that’s the correct word?) to post it, ahhh, it's weird the feeling. But wow, I think the thing was beautiful:3 I honestly hope I can beat the creative block and keep writing more stories like that, shit, anyway, Arthur it’s my beautiful muse.
Time for thanks! Thank you to the Microsoft translator for helping me translate things I don't know into English, thank you to Lana del Rey for helping me get out of the creative block with your songs, my two neurons for not giving up and doing synapses, and thank you for your patience <3
And fuuuuckinggg agaaaain the fucking same apology, I’m sorry if I make some grammatical, spelling or writing mistakes, english is not my native language blablablablablalaaablablablaba just enjoy the porn.
Hope you like it! <3
...
He’s out of his mind.
He was yelling at his men to do the damn job, to search the whole damn city. His beauty doll is missing
You were missing, you weren’t by his side, and that was a tragedy.
He was going crazy, and how cannot be? His enemies don’t leave no clue, just the threatening note. He read it, trying to find something, some sign. But nothing.
“In every fucking corner! In every fucking street! In every fucking neighborhood! I don’t fucking care! You have to find her!”
He yelled at his men in clown masks, they were orders that were to be fulfilled. But everything was more complicated than it seemed.
“We've searched all over Gotham and there's no sign of her”
“Keep looking!” He screamed again.
The clowns have never seen their leader so tense and stressed. It wasn't for nothing. His darling was kidnapped by something he had done, and time ran. Anything could happen to you with every hour wasted in found you.
"Mr. Joker, we've searched everywhere, but there's no way to find her, do you really think it's worth it?"
“What? What do you mean by that? What are you implying about that?”
“I mean Mr. Joker, you found her in a disgraceful place... You could do that with any other slut, you can find another-”
Bang!
Before he could keep opening his mouth, that man was already dead.
"I don't have time for this stupid shit! You must don’t give a shit about my doll's past! You must do your fucking damn job!"
The rest of the clowns, seeing the violent scene, came out of the room. Joker ordered two of his men to undo the body.
Sitting on an elegant red couch, he took a hand to his face and breathe out heavily.
Where were you? Would you be ok? You’d be safe?
Every question stressed him. And he felt guilty leaving you alone, he shouldn’t have done that.
Knowing that sometimes his clowns could become useless, he got out of his seat and walked outside of the room. "If they don't find you, I'll do it myself”
He got into the car and went to Gotham.
“My y/n, where are you?”
…
Your hands behind you back were tied. Your feet too.
Could barely remember what happened to you. Hours before, you were reading a book in complete calmness, but someone broke in the house. You screamed and ran for the emergency gun, but the assailants caught you first and put a damp fabric in your face.
You slept soundly for a couple of hours, when you woke up with a blindfold. Immediately, you went into fear.
“Look! The bitch woke up”
Your eyes saw again, they took you the bandage off. Looked at some men you didn’t know who they were.
“Just look, the little whore of Joker” One of the kidnappers took you by the jaw “Are the rumors true? The Joker pulled you out of a brothel after you fuck him so good?”
A big spit came into the kidnapper's eye. You pointed very well at his face.
“Fuck you!” Was the only thing you yell to him “That's something you don't give a shit!”
The others men laugh a lot, making fun of your little defense. The affected person rubbed himself with a tissue and you realized spitting him was a big mistake.
Scared, you looked everywhere, you had to find a way out, you knew that if you stayed there, they could kill you, but there is no escape.
“What idiot would want a whore like his couple?” The kidnapper spoke as he approached you and lifted you from the ground "Although if it's true that you were a prostitute... We could take advantage of that…”
They looked at you with malevolence, you knew your Joker had done terrible things to them, and they revenge were going to drop it on you.
“No, no, no! Don't you dare! If you do, you'll be dead men!”
“Maybe, but the first one to die will be you”
They pulled out a knife right in front of you, played with this one, gently passing it down your chest and face.
They started ripping the fabric of your dress. You cried. They laughed.
Please Arthur come, come for me, please Arthur
“We are three, you're going to have to give each of us pleasure at the same time, you know what that means? Anyway, you're already experienced in that”
They took your dress in pieces, staying only in your underwear, they began grotesquely touch your body and make fun of you. You just implored that it wasn't painful and that your death wasn't so violent.
Although that was improbable.
You closed your eyes, accepting your unfortunate destiny.
A violent noise was heard, and one of the men fell to the ground.
"Leave her alone right now!"
Hearing that scream you felt in heaven, protected. You were safe. Joker was there, pointing the bastards who wanted to hurt you with his gun.
“Oh! Look who's here! Just when we were going to have our banquet, don't you want some?”
Another one fell to the ground. You tried to escape the only one left alive, but he catched you, putting the knife around your neck.
“Let her go of or you're going to regret it!” Joker screamed in a tone of voice you'd never heard before. He was heard so rude and furious, and at once determined.
“Let her go? You ruined what my men and I built for years; I'll take away what you cherish most in front you. And you can’t do anything to avoid it”
Joker's blood boiled with angry. How did he dare to hurt you?
"I won't warn you again, let her go right now, NOW!"
The guy, just for enjoying Joker's furious, put the knife down and cut your abdomen, you cried in pain. Joker went crazy, and when the knife stopped touching your skin, bullets were raining at your kidnapper.
You ran away, tripped and fell, but you could see Joker unloading the bullets on his enemy.
No enemy was left alive. You were free. But you were so scared too.
Joker looked at you, put away his gun and ran to you.
"Arthur!" You hugged him very tightly.
"y/n are you okay? He cut you, that motherfucker, I must to take you to the doc—"
"No! Please Arthur, take me home! Take me with you!"
"But y/n, you’re hurt—"
"It's nothing! I swear, just take me with you!"
Crying, you begged him to get you out of there. Joker took off his red coat and put it on you, covering you. He hugged you and both got out of there.
…
You two came home. He carried you in his arms and you hugged his chest. He left you in the bed while you still crying.
"I won't let you get hurt again, my doll" Arthur drew his fingers to your face, drying away your tears. He hurt him see you crying.
"Arthur, I thought I'd never see you again”
"No, y/n, I'm here, I'll always be here. No one will hurt you again"
You hugged him a lot, you didn't want to let him go. Despite the facade of the worst criminal of all and Gotham's worst lunatic, he saved and protected you.
Arthur left the room for a moment and came back with a medicine cabinet. He healed your wound while you were trying to relax, but that was almost impossible. Once you bandaged, Arthur lay down next to you, and you couldn't help hug him. He did the same thing, caressing your hair and smelling your scent, like the first time he and you met.
You and him slept soundly. You were so afraid you wouldn't sleep in that bed again. However, your night wasn't quiet, you dreamed of those three horrible men again, you dreamed that those men did what they wanted with you, and Arthur never appeared.
You woke up upset, in tears again.
But at the same time, you calmed down, because you were home. Arthur woke up with your crying, he immediately paid attention to you.
"What's going on? y/n, what happened?"
"A nightmare"
He took you carefully and kissed you on the forehead. You hugged him back, you clung to him, you never wanted to leave him in your life.
He really is the love of your life.
And you wanted to thank him for being.
"Arthur..."
"Yes?"
You took air, you never thought you’d be shy to ask Arthur that, even when you did this night after night.
“Could you love me, please?"
The eyes of Arthur lit up, and a big sense of desire ran through his body. But despite that, you were always above everything.
"y/n… But you’re hurt"
"Art… I’m fine, it was something superficial, it's nothing” And that was true, but on his face could you see he wasn’t so convinced “Please Arthur, I need your love”
He looked at you with concern, with silent, perhaps he feared to hurt you.
But at the same time, he looked at you with desire, in need and lust.
Arthur needed you very badly too, but he was afraid to revive your pain. However, you started kissing him, at first shyly, because you didn't know what his reaction would be.
But you knew him perfectly, you knew that with a simple touch of yours he could go crazy. He gently took you from the back of your head and quickly got on top of you. His hands started stroking your neck, your collarbone, your chest. His fingers started playing with the straps of your bra and at the same time left little kisses on your breasts.
Fear left your body, and desperately asked for Arthur.
Arthur took your bra off and threw it somewhere in the room. Hypnotized, he admired your body. You blushed, he always saw you as a deity, even though you two made love a thousand times before.
"You're the most fucking beautiful woman I've ever met"
He bit his lip when he saw you. You, on the other hand, put the shyness aside, your hands went to the buttons on his yellow vest, unbuttoning them. Arthur noticed your intentions and helped you with that. You did the same thing with his turquoise shirt, looking now his chest.
You exhaled. You kissed him deeply, his tongue entered your mouth, and you couldn't help pass your hands through his chest and abdomen.
Without warning, you started to kiss his neck and shoulders, he didn’t wait that, but with a smile, he let you continue. You kept kissing him, went down to his red pants. His lust trapped in that red pants was already evident.
With little kiss on the fabric of his pants, you unbuttoned and zipped down. You looked him before continue. Arthur looked at you in need, desire and a huge smile on his clown face.
You backed off his pants and his underwear, his length appeared on your face and something inside you burned. You took it with your hand and let a little kiss in the top.
With more desire, you pass your tongue, sucking it, you really enjoyed that moment, more when you put it in your mouth and heard his deep moan.
"Damn it, y/n!" Arthur almost cried out loud. He was wet in lust, he looked at you with his green eyes, saw as you gave him pleasure, as you loved making him feel good. He took your hair, started directing the movements.
You relaxed your throat, took some air and got on with your work. You used your tongue to drive him crazy, and hearing his moans caused you to get wet. “Fuck! y/n you… you’re amazing…”.
You viewed that he grabbed the sheets with his free hand, his head was back and his chest became large and small as he breathed deeply. You could think he was close to finishing. But he decided to change things.
He took your hair and forced you to apart himself, you looked at him a little confused, but his gaze said he was going to back to you everything you caused him. Taking your shoulders, he dropped you in bed. He quickly got between your legs, starting to play with the elastic of your lace panties.
He dropped your panties, stared hungry at what these were hiding. And he realized you were already wet.
"Art... Do-Don't be so rude, please" You pled him timidly. Arthur blinked, setting aside his desire, remembering what you had spent the last night. He looked at your reddened face, and felt slightly guilty. He didn't tell you, but he thought maybe he scared you.
"Of course not, my doll" slowly lowered his face until you reached your entrance "If you want to stop, I will, just say it y/n" kissed one of your thighs, and seeing you, started playing with his tongue inside you.
Now, it was your turn to yell.
“Oh fuck!” You remember why Arthur loved that game. He was very skillful. He kissed you, licked you, played really well down there. You took his green hair between your fingers, begging him to go deeper. You heard a little laugh.
“I want you Arthur…” You couldn't take it anymore, you started begging him, as tears of pleasure fell down your cheeks “Please Art, I want you, make me yours…”
He didn't listen to you, he just kept licking you, and you couldn't do it anymore. You cuming in his mouth, and he drank you all.
Bastard you thought You wouldn't let me do the same with you
As you recovered from the orgasm, he stands up, his makeup was already a mess, but that's what you loved, as you could see Arthur and Joker at the same time.
“Come here, boy” You extended your hand to him. He took it and placed himself on top of you "I really want you for me”
“You just want me?”
“Why the question?”
"You seem to need me" Arthur kiss your hand, as you felt the rub of its length in your entrance, he was torturing you.
“Arthur, please…”
“Please what?” He passing his tongue in your hand and finished with a kiss.
“I-I need you…”
“Yes darling?” He saw you again with those emeralds that drove you crazy. How much you love him, and how much he loves you "Did you know I always need you, y/n?" With that deeply voice, he began to play again, giving small blows with his tip, causing you to moan.
“Y-Yeah…” Your voice became trembling at the end of that word “Arthur, please…”
“Please what?” He repeated that question again while without warning, he passed his tongue through your breast, provoking you more and more.
“…Fuck me…” You didn't ask him, you pleaded him. He laughed a little, and kissed you on your lips, looking for your tongue with his. And as your tongues fluttered in your mouths, he entered in you.
You moaned in his mouth, that strange sense of pain and pleasure was so addictive to you. He moved inside you, going out and in. You could hear him moan, and that excited you more, hearing his voice full of pleasure.
With more desire, you hugged him, moaned and cried. You didn't want anyone else in your life. You only want Arthur, just him.
It was so much pleasure and delight that you even forgot the wound on your abdomen.
You raised your hips just to join him more. Arthur kissed your neck, while he too got lost in lust. The bed hit the wall hard, it could break at any time, and you wouldn't mind. You two couldn't separate, nothing could separate.
You didn't know how much time was going on, but every time Arthur made love to you, time seemed to stop alone for the two of you.
“Arthur…” You cried his name “I love you… I love you”.
“I love you, y/n” you heard his hoarse voice against your ear again. He raised his head, only to see you adore this intimate moment “I love you too”
You kissed him, so much passion overflowing. You felt close again.
Before you could tell him, your body couldn't keep it anymore and gave into the pleasure, you screamed so loud. Arthur began to penetrate you slowly and deep at the same time, prolonging your orgasm, making it more torturous and pleasurable.
Breathing deeply, you looked at Arthur, taking his cheek with your hand, you still felt weak, and loved too.
He came out of you, and he started masturbating in front of you. "Could you help me, doll?" Oh yes, you knew that meant.
You knelt in front of him, took his member and carried him into your mouth. He tried to suppress a groan but failed. A few seconds later he made you stop, and you'll look him in the eye from where you were.
"You want it, don't you, doll?" you didn't answer, you just moved your head up and bit your lip. Like the first time you saw him. You began to masturbate him and kiss his member.
He caressed your head, closed his eyes. If that wasn't heaven, he didn't know anything else it could be.
His body tightened, and his breathing became heavy “y/n, I’m gonna coming, come here”.
You stopped, opened your mouth, sticking out your tongue. With a little scream from him, you got his climax in your mouth. Every drop fell into your mouth, and some escaped through the corners of your lips. He tasted so good; you loved his taste.
Arthur took a deep breath, his eyes were still under in his eyelids, recovering. He lowered his head and opened his eyes, watching you. You gave him a naughty smile. He caressed your cheek, and stroked you with his thumb.
"Where have you been all my life?" For a moment he thought about it, but he really said it. And you blush at those words. The naughty smile was replaced by a shy smile.
"Lost, like you, my love"
Smiling at you, he went to kiss you one more, one more loving, more romantic. “Arthur Fleck, you really are the love of my life” You said to him in the middle of the kiss. You could feel it how he trembled at your words. He separated from you and looked you in the eye.
“You too, y/n, you’re the love of my life”.
He kissed your cheek and pulled aside some locks of hair that fell on your face. "Come here" Took your hand "Look at you, you're a mess, we're going to have to clean you up"
You knew that was just the beginning, it was going to be a long day.
But you didn't care because you loved him, you loved Arthur Fleck, and Joker too, despite the danger. You didn't really care about danger, Arthur would always protect you from adversity, and somehow, you also protected him.
End
#joker#arthur fleck#joker fanfiction#Joker x Reader#Arthur Fleck x Reader#arthur fleck smut#fanfiction#sexy timeeee#joker smut#lemon#Arthur fleck fanfic#joker fandom#why I'm still feeling weirdo with this? HAHAHA#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#Don't ask#Just enjoy it#aaaaAaaaAAAAaaaaAa
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