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#WHO GAVE HIM THE RIGHT I CAN'T HANDLE IT
in-death-we-fall · 9 months
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Yeah no I have shit to do, this is metal time, not crying about Wednesday time
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cosmojjong · 1 year
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my grandpa ended up passing away only 11 days after i saw him and what hurts most right now is trying to deal with such a sudden loss and the fact that i can't go to his funeral. i don't know what to do with myself
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banannabethchase · 1 year
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At what point do all the "bad days" teaching coalesce into a bad year?
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vaspider · 2 years
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Pete Buttigieg is just a faggot.
It's very important to me that younger queers understand this: to the people who you're trying to be more respectable for when you say things like neopronouns set the trans movement back or you're why the cishets don't accept us or including [aces/bi people with the 'wrong kind' of partners/non-binary people/kinksters/non-passing trans ppl/furries/polyam people] just hurts us, can't you wait until we get all our rights before we talk about some of yours? -- to those people? Pete Buttigieg is just a fag.
On Sunday at Pride Northwest, some kids -- late teens, early 20s -- asked what our button I survived Reagan for this? meant. All of the queer adults at the tables making up our ad hoc counter looked at each other and sighed a little. Emet and another adult started to explain the way that the Reagan Administration handled -- or didn't handle -- the beginning of the AIDS crisis. How many people died. How much we were ignored. The Ashes Action. The Time Magazine article which explicitly blamed bisexual men for passing the pandemic to the cishet community, playing on all the worst stereotypical bullshit. The way that even when the CDC started paying attention, they were so focused on gay men that they ignored AIDS in the lesbian community, leading to the "women don't get AIDS, they just die from it" poster. And so on.
I finished counting out change and passed the last Bear Pride raised fist pin over to a bear a little older than me, then turned my head and interjected, "they didn't care until it started infecting more than just the fags." I turned my head back and handed him his change. He laughed bitterly and said, "remember when they called it 'gay cancer?'"
That what I need you to understand. The people for whom you are folding yourself into smaller and smaller boxes will never see you as anything but a freak. A queer. A dyke. A tranny. A fag.
Never.
These are people who will stand by and let you wither away and die alone, gasping for breath in a cinderblock room, and not even claim your ashes, and they will say you deserve it, because of your lifestyle. If they speak of you at all it will be by the wrong name, with the pictures you hate the most. They will curse at your lover, throw him out of the home you shared, and steal the gift you gave last Christmas to throw it in the trash just so he can't have it and they'll say Jesus loves you! while they do it. They'll feel good and righteous and blessed and holy and pure for doing it.
And for them, you spit in the eye of your sister. For them, you disavow your sibling. For their sake, you trim away bits of your heart and lace yourself up tight. Never too loud. Never too queer. Never inconvenient or embarrassing, never asking for too much.
Pete Buttigieg is what happens when your Boomer dad turns out gay. Middle America. Parents still married. Suburban-sprouted. Valedictorian. Harvard-educated. Rhodes Scholarship. Military service. More power to him: I hope he and Chasten are very happy together. Genuinely, I do.
You couldn't create a more respectable gay if you grew one in a lab run by concerned voter focus groups.
But Pete Buttigieg? Is just a fag.
That's the part you don't seem to get: when they abandoned us, they abandoned all of us. Rock Hudson was a beloved movie star and even personally friendly with that horrid pair of ambitious jackals. Nancy Reagan refused to help him get into the only place in the world that could treat him at the time, and he died.
It was 1985, 4 years after the CDC first released papers on what would eventually become known as HIV/AIDS and 7 years after the first known death from an infection from HIV-2. Reagan hadn't even said the word AIDS by the time Hudson died.
Pete Buttigieg is just a fag, and so am I. Unless I'm a dyke, which seems to depend on who's yelling what from which window and what day it is.
Yes, there will be people who genuinely love and accept you. Those people are worth all the frustration of the rest, thankfully, and they're the ones who love you in a pup mask or a leather harness and a neon jock like the ones sold by the men up the row from us last weekend. They're the ones who laugh out loud when you tell them you hid the word "dyke" in your company name, the ones who love you in all your messiness and uncertainty and the way you don't fit into neat boxes all scrubbed up and clean.
Most cishets, though... well, they don't actively mean you specifically any harm, at least not when they have to look at you. Not when you're right there in front of them. Maybe they'll be okay with you, personally, especially if you're the kind of gay who makes a good rhetorical device, and as long as you remain a good rhetorical device.
They need people to know that they don't have a problem with the gays, after all, and there you are, being all convenient. You make a nice token, and as long as you do, well. You're useful.
But they call you by your deadname when you're not around, and they put the wrong pronouns in your medical record even though they met you years after you came out, and they won't put themselves out to save you. Not one little bit.
I didn't want to be here again. The year I graduated from high school was the worst year of the AIDS crisis. The world into which I became an adult was a world in which an advisor and friend to Reagan, William F. Buckley, openly advocated for forcibly tattooing the HIV status of HIV+ gay men on their buttocks (and IV drug users on their forearms), and in which my father not only told me that when I was 14 or so, but when was told me that he'd advocated for that tattoo being "over their assholes."
(Buckley wrote that in '86, but he doubled down on it in 2005.
Fucker.)
But yeah. I didn't want to be here again. I wanted my daughter to inherit a better world. I wanted Obergefell and Lawrence v. Texas and Hope & Change to really mean something. I work for it, today and all days. I haven't given up.
I need you to know that, too. This isn't a white flag. I'm not surrendering. This isn't over. To misquote Henry Rollins, this is what Marsha and Sylvia and Stormé and Leslie and Brenda and Auntie Sugar trained us for. This is punk rock time.
But I need you to understand that if Pete Buttigieg is just a fag, if that human embodiment of a Wonder Bread, mayo and Oscar Meyer bologna sandwich is not respectable enough for them -- and he's not -- then the rest of us have absolutely no hope of measuring up. Not even if we trim away every colorful, beautiful piece of our community, not even if the Sisters Of Perpetual Indulgence vanish into the ether, not even if we sacrifice the five elements of vogue on the altar of white supremacist cishet middle-class conformity: we can't trim ourselves down to something they'll accept.
The only other option is radical acceptance of our queer selves. The only other option is solidarity. The only other option is for fats and femme queens and drags and kinksters and queers and zine writers and sex workers and furries and addicts and kids and the ones who can look us in the eye and see all of us to say we're here, we're queer, get used to it just the way we did 30 years ago. It's revolutionary, complete and total acceptance of our entire community, not just the ones the cishets can pretend to be comfortable with as long as we don't challenge them too much, or it's conceding the shoreline inch by inch to the rising waters of fascism until we've got nowhere left to stand and some of us start drowning.
That's it. Either it's all of us or it's none of us, because if we leave the answer up to the Reagans of the world and all the people who enabled him in the name of lower taxes and Democrats who wring their hands, weeping oh I don't agree with it but we'll lose the election if we fight it right now, the answer is none of us.
The brunch gays can come, too, I guess.
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chaosandmarigolds · 19 days
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Dad!Simon who insisted you go on the vacation, because of course he can handle his baby girl and his six year old (almost six, but Ollie rounds up)
Simon who knew he had it in the bag....
for about two hours
Simon who made bagels for dinner; wassss this close 🤏to making Ollie eat dirt because WHAT DO YOU MEAN you don't like bagels now you were begging for them in the store!
Simon who made it about forty hours before he gave him and called Johnny
Simon who had no idea why Ollie was being so gosh darn annoying
Simon who had previously made a bet with Price that he wouldn't need help so therefore he would rather die than call Price even though Ollie idolizes his 'grandfather'
''s Johnny, missed ya but leave a message at the lil' beep."
"John MacTavish I swear to god if you don' call me back in ten minutes I will personally post thos' pictures of ya in Afgan."
two minutes later-
"ya know that's a real low blow-"
"I need you to take Oliver to th' park- Tessie isn't goin to sleep with him 'roun."
"Call the capn, he's closer to ya."
"I will not do that."
"Ugh, fine- lemme tell my girl then'll be there in twenty."
Simon who told Oliver to behave for his uncle and then happily sent them away- which finally he would be able to put the exhausted newborn to sleep
Simon was finally able to doze off on the sofa, the baby happily snoozing away on his chest and everything seemed perfect with the world
"MISTER RILEY UNCLE JOHNNY IS IS-HES-" The thundering slam of the door being swung open not only woke up Simon but the baby who aptly began to sob to the sudden change of pace, Oliver however did not care "UNCLE JOHNNY SUCKS."
Uncle Johnny told Ollie not to kick the ball into the river
Simon who is flabbergasted because even Johnny looked shook to his core, sure they had been at the park for about five hours but like-???
John MacTavish...brought down .... by Simon's six year old
Simon who, after ten minutes of the baby screaming for their mother and refusing to take their bottle with disgruntled wails of pain and Ollie so tired he can't think straight so he's also a sobbing and angry disaster and Johnny's just standing there by the door waiting for answers and everything is so loud-
"Capn?"
"Oh! Hi, sweetheart," John's wife answered the landline and he could hear her voice call for her husband, "Hi, how are you and lil' ones?"
Simon looked at Ollie who was currently in time out for stealing his sisters binkie for the tenth time, "Not great."
"O-"
"Simon." Price's voice cut in and it took about five seconds to get everything account for, "Ya already called Johnny right?"
"Yessir."
"Did you try Kyle?"
"No sir, he's on his honeymoon."
'"Ah-that's right, that's right."
Silence
"Sir I would like your help."
"Ha! Knew it! Alrighty, missus and I'll be there in...i dunno- you boys hungry? She made that-honey whatcha make?" indistinct conversation, "Ma'am said it didn't matter, she'll bring it anyway. Forty minutes?"
Simon looked at Johnny, who was on 'keep ollie in said time out' picking up the kid whenever he would try and run off. "Can you make it twenty, sir?"
Simon and Johnny who, out of habit, stood at attention as soon at the captain let himself into the house
Simon who looked a bit worse for wear, even with his non existant sleep scheulde in the military he had never looked so fatigued
Simon who had the baby out of his arms by Price's wife within two minutes of them being there
Simon who loves his son, he loves him (internal mantra) but he is making him look bad to his captain so the little twerp better get his act together.
"Riley."
"Yessir."
"How long is your block?"
"Two kilometers around."
"Two laps."
faltering silence through the house, Simon stared at the captain as he helped Ollie tie his sneakers by the door. The silence did mean Tessie had finally fallen asleep but he was- "I'm sorry?"
"Two laps, you, Johnny, and Oliver." Price looked to the kid, who looked more angry at the world than anything else, "Go. Dinner will be ready when you get back."
Simon was about to argue but Ollie beat him to it, "I don't want to run."
"You don't want to run?"
Oliver seemed a bit taken back, "No. So I'm not going to."
"Okay. You can clean the entire house- including your sisters nappy's, for a week, yeah?"
A pause.
"Fine, i'll go on the stupid run."
Simon who might as well be walking with the pace Oliver chose to keep
Johnny who took off sprinting because lord knew that man was starving and Mrs. Price's food was heaven on earth
Simon who sat down on the side of the road when the little guy was out of breath
Simon that mostly ran in silence until Ollie broke it
"Why did mom leave?"
huh?
"What?"
"Mom she-she just...she left us, wh-"
"Whoa-whoa whoa, mum didn't leave-mum didn't leave us wh-whoa, Olls," he had collapsed to his knee when the boy started to speak just to look at him in the eyes and he tried to read the boys expression, "Mum would never leave you, she loves you so much."
"Then where did she go?? Why didn't she say goodbye?"
"She's with her friends, and her flight left 'fore you woke up, Olls. Laddie, she wouldn't leave you."
Simon who had called you, even though there was time difference as everyone was sitting down to eat dinner
"oh...wow the gang's back together," You grumble as you rub your eyes, having been dead asleep, only for the camera angle to change suddenly and it was just a close up angle of your son's face, "Hi baby."
"Mom guess what Uncle Johnny did."
"EY, LET'S NOT TELL YER MOM BOUT THAT."
"Hey mom?" The boy was easily distracted and then looked down at the phone again.
"Yeah baby?"
"Never go on away again, dad said so."
You stay silent for a moment, blinking, because in all three years you and Simon had been together Ollie had never referred to him as 'dad' or anything remotely close. "Your...right, yeah-I'm pretty bored here anyway."
Simon, who was fine with you going on little getaways just not anymore how dare you try and leave him alone
"You sure it's okay if I stay a few more days?"
With a short laugh he looks over the living room, where Johnny and Olls were fast asleep watching some cartoon he didn't know the name of while John and His wife had chosen to stay in the guest room for the night. It would hell if you stayed for a few more days.
"Of course, luv, I got the boys an' Tessie needs to learn who they are anyway."
"I guess. Okay, the ride is here. I love you."
"I love you more."
(annnnway that's it <333 any comments you wanna leave or anything like that makes my day!)
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plmp0 · 2 months
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Bad Game
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Summary: You've just missed how rough Heeseung used to fuck you so you decided to push his buttons, but he noticed what you are trying to do and gave you exactly what you wanted.
Warnings: pwp (no plot really), mean!dom!Heeseung, begging, dirty talk, degrading, hair pulling, oral (f r), unprotected sex, cream!pie, i think that's all
A.N: This was a very quicky i wrote at 4 AM, sorry if there is any typos/ weird spacing, also please note that english is not my first language. Enjoy ^^
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"didn't know you were that cock dumb u know? always denying being horny in front of me but all the time you are fantasizing about my dick huh?" Heeseung stuffed two of his fingers inside ur mouth making you choke on them your hips trying to grind on his knee that is positioned between ur legs and he chuckled at ur miserable attempt
"What a pervert, a naughty slut" he whispered in ur ears as he grabbed ur hair and pulled, you arched your back moaning, "And that's okay, you know why? Because i'm the only one who can take care of you like this." he removed his fingers from ur lips groping ur breats making you whimper wanting him to touch you more.
"Only I can fuck u till u can't remember your name." he grunted one of his hands wrapping around your neck choking you lightly but u couldn't help it but grip his wrist and he just cooed at how weak you are.
Heeseung made sure u'd regret messing up with him, trying to make him jealous? really?Knowing how he can't handle seeing others trying to make a move on you in front of him.
"How low of you, horny girl trying to piss me off." He chuckled "You don't know who you're messing up with, sweetheart." He leaned towards you, "I am a man of few words. If you mess up, then i'll fuck u out of your mind."
He kissed you hard and pushed you down the bed, making you lay on your back. He kissed down from ur neck, collarbones, to the valley between ur breasts and you arched your back when he took ur nipple into his mouth, sucking on it harshly.
"So cute" He licked over ur nipples, "So beautiful and all mine." He kept kissing down, reaching your belly making your mind go numb from how different he sounds everytime "My pretty princess" He mumbled spreading your legs apart and putting them over his shoulder, giving a kiss to each thigh. "U could of just said that you wanted me to fuck you dumb" He gave a smirk and dived in between your legs, eating you out.
"Fuuuck" You moaned when he started moving his tongue around ur clit skillfuly hid hold tight on your thighs moving his head left and right and it was just too much for you, pulling on his hair signaling him to slow down but that just made him moan keeping the same pace.
He continued working on you his nose rubbing against your clit as he sucked on it harshly and you felt a knot forming on your stomach moaning his name non stop
Heeseung felt so lost in the taste of you his dick twitching all the time, he took his right hand, bringing his middle and index finger to ur entrance and you rutted your hips trying to feel him inside you and that just earned you a tsk from him and a slap in ur right thigh "Patience, i get that you're desperate to be fucked but there is no way i'm gonna let what you did slip without punishing you" he voiced, still sucking on ur clit and teasing your entrance with his fingers.
"Pleasee, i'll do anything just fuc-" Your pleads got interrupted by him shoving two fingers inside you and curling them to reach the spongy spot that always made you see stars, "Fuck yes right theree" You arched your back and closed your eyes as the knot was becoming tighter, Heeseung could tell that you were close so he started moving his fingers at a faster pace, making you scream and cum all over his face and he didn't even give you a moment to rest fingers working faster than before making you cry and try to get away from him feeling so sensitive, "No no no" you whined, "too much" You cried
"No?" He stopped and grabbed your chin "isn't that what you wanted, huh? What's wrong now?" he mocked curling his fingers inside you his other hand locking you down on the bed and you could feel yourself close again feeling so weak against him eyes rolling back as you were about to come again and just when you were about to Heeseung stopped moving pulling his fingers out leaving your body shaking as a whine left your lips
"Owww" he cooed looking at ur undone state eyes red and teary lips red from biting on them, seeing you in that state just made his dick twitch but as much as he wanted to fuck you now he couldn't forget what you did earlier his blood boiling even tho he knows it was a stupid plan of yours but that doesn't change the fact that Jay held your hand it doesn't change the fact that his filthy hands wrapped around our tiny waist, and Heeseung couldn't let go of that sight his eyes darkening more making ur skin shiver as he looked you down
"Turn around and get on your knees" he commanded, his voice dark. You followed his command and did as told, "I'm not gonna stop till i feel that you are really sorry for what you did today and don't even try to cum without my permission baby" You could feel his dominance taking over you making you more excited and you couldn't wait for him to wreck you.
He slapped your ass massaging the skin afterwards and then started leaving marks on your back, you felt the tip of his cock rubbing on your entrance, the anticipation was making you go crazy but you ended up disappointed when Heeseung kept grinding his cock on your folds for the next couple of minutes despite your begging he didn't enter you and when you tried to reach out and rub urself against his cock he just slapped your hand away.
He took your chin and turned your face to the side so he could look at you as he started kissing you, his tongue finding its way inside ur mouth. He moved his hands from your waist and cupped your boobs, massaging them, pinching and pulling on your nipples making you whimper and he didn't miss the way your hips twitched burrying himself inside you without a warning stretching you open,and puting an end to your suffering, he didn't wait for you to adjust to his size pounding on you hitting your g spot immediately and you couldn't hold your voice in and moaned loudly, Heeseung didn't stop there he grabbed your neck and pushed your head down and started moving at an even faster pace the sound of skin slapping and moans filled the room, he let go of your neck and you felt his grip on your hips getting tighter as he kept going and going and you felt the knot in your stomach tighten, your walls fluttering around his dick, "Don't cum until i say so." He warned voice stern as ever and you couldn't do anything but nod his hand steadying your head against the mattress, bed frame banging against the wall at the force of his thrusts, you felt yourself coming closer and closer and he knew it, his groans going straight to your core making you clench on him and he threw his head back cursing at your tightness his hand slapping your ass and the sting brought you back from the edge Heeseungs hand reached to your hair pulling on it and making you arch your back, you couldn't keep your eyes open as they rolled back "Look at you now, can't even speak because of my dick" he grunted and you didn't even have the strength to moan, his grip on your hair getting tighter "What a good little cockslut" he chuckled seeing how his words affected you "But looks like you forgot that you are mine" he thrusted this time hard and deep making you moan and clench around him "Who are you?" You could hear the anger in his voice "Tell me" he griped your jaw cock still deep inside of you waiting for your answer,
"I'm- Yours- Ahh" you choked on your moans making him smirk as he pulled his cock all the way out and then slammed back in making you arch your back
"Again" He repeated and you felt your orgasm approaching again "Heeseung-" You were about to cum but he slapped your ass
"Who do you belong to" Heeseung growled and the grip he had on ur hair and hips tightened "Who's dick are you on?" he thrusted a couple of times before stopping again, "Yours! It's only yours, please let me cum!" you begged trying to fuck yourself on his dick but his hands were holding you still and it was just too much, he chuckled "You should've known better than to be a brat to me baby"
He started moving again slamming his cock inside you hitting the deepest parts of you, making you a moaning mess and after a couple of minutes of begging he finally gave you permission feeling close as well, "You can cum baby, show me how much you love my cock" he whispered in ur ears and it was enough to make u come and tighten around his dick, making him cum right after you
"Fuck" he cursed as he rode his high and then pulled out of you, and he couldn't help but groan at the sight of his cum dripping out of you taking his fingers to fuck his cum back inside of you and then licking it off his fingers, the view made you whine
"I hope that what you did today won't repeat again, understood?" He asked as he helped you lay on your back and you were too tired to even talk so you just nodded whispering a small "sorry" and he laughed a bit "You did so well baby, such a good girl" he praised caressing your cheek and you couldn't help but lean in and close your eyes at the sensation of his hands, he smiled at your action and leaned down to give a kiss to your forehead. And you don't know if this is gonna really be the last time your gonna push his buttons loving the way he fucked you earlier but hey he doesn't need to know now!
Thank you for reading a feedback would be so much appreciated ^^
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agirlandherkinks · 3 months
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Imagine being turned into a fucktoy at the same time as someone else.
Say, you and a friend go to a party, wearing matching pink bows the host gave you beforehand.
After a while, you both start to feel a bit funny. Your attention gets flightier and thinking starts to become difficult. You talk to the host together to apologize for having to leave, but he insists you don't go and arranges a room for your stay. You want to argue, but realize he's... so, so sexy. Of course you want to do what he says. A giggle escapes your throat, while your friend twirls her hair and grins adoringly at him.
You walk into the room together, hand in hand. Behind you, you hear rough laughter and a jeer "See you sluts soon!"
The door clicks shut.
Your friend snaps out of her haze first as the situation registers to her. She tries the door handle, whimpering in fear as it refuses to budge. Then she shakes out, dragging you away from thoughts of Him. You explore the confines of your room, panic mounting as neither of you find a way out. One door, locked. A small window, high up. A single, giant bed, blankets and pillows in a hot pink. Master likes you in that colour. You stumble in surprise, the last observation filling your head with bubbles. How could you think of escape, when your place is here. With Master. Your crotch feels warm.
A moan escapes your mouth at the same time as your friend's, who's fallen on all fours.
"W-what's happening?" you stammer, trying to clear your head.
"Dooooon't knoooow!" she cries back, rubbing herself with one hand. "So hotttt..."
Watching your friend touch herself through her jeans fills you with your own heat, and you automatically follow suit as visions blast through your mind. Fucking yourself, fucking each other, fucking other people, on the bed on the floor on the couch, even on the beach when you are allowed outside. But always, always, for Master. You love him. He controls you. You belong to- No!
You gasp, forcing your hand to the floor. This isn't right! Trying to ignore the thoughts, the commands in your mind, you crawl over to the moaning form of your friend. Her jeans are off, and her panties soaked in cum as a hand dips in and out, over and over. You call her name, shake her, even slap her (although all that produces is a groan of pleasure), to no avail. Then she turns to you, and whispers, "Toy~"
"Nonononono," you whisper, both to what she said, and the echoes it produced in your own mind. "We need to get out together!"
"Toy is nice. Toy is warm. Toy is happyyy..." Her eyes were an unnatural pink, focused on nothing. Her mouth formed a sleepy smile. "Nice."
"Nice..." you repeat, assaulted by visions and promises of pleasure and fucking and being a good Toy. Your hand slips into your jeans, and tears come to your eyes.
"Why resist? Toy is good. Toy is right. No think. Happy." She undresses, then begins taking your own clothes off.
"No... Don't... want... happy?" Your head spins. Why would Toy not want to be Toy? Need to escape. Together. But Master would be sad. Don't want Master to be sad. Think! Toy no think. Toy wrong! Right. Happy. So scared... Warm. Good. Nice. Happy. Think so hard...
You let out a ragged scream in your throat. So confused...
"...Who am I?" you whimper, feeling the cool air on your naked body as your friend settles in front of you, vacant gaze and dumb smile still in place.
"Not who, silly" she calmly explains. "What. Toy not person. Toy Toy. I Toy. You Toy."
Oh. That makes sense. (no.....)
"Toy is thing. For Master. Toy for squeezing. And fucking~ Pussy~ Cock-" She cuts off with a moan and touches herself. You feel compelled to copy. For a while you both masturbate, happily. Your jaw begins to loosen and tension drain from your body.
Toy is sexy. Toy is sexy. Master like us. (please.....)
"Toy need help?" She manages to focus on you and stop touching herself, face set in concern. "Think too much?" You nod, desperately.
Brain loud. Part bad. Not like Toy. (can't keep-)
Toy smiles reassuringly. "Toy help Toy. Be Toy together. Nice for Master. Together."
With tender care she climbs onto your lap, gripping your shoulder with one hand as the other drifts downwards. Gently, delicately, she touches her lips to yours, their soft plumpness and strawberry flavor filling your senses. She presses against you, your nipples brushing as your chests squish together. At the same time, her hand begins expertly manipulating your genitals, sending waves of pleasure through your fuzzy, stupid mind. You moan, a cry of despair as the last remnants of you leak out in the form of precum and drool. Then your pitch and tone change, becoming a wail of pleasure as the dumb Toy that you always were surrenders to your needy, lusty body. You start fucking Toy too, and your moans and whimpers mix as you collapse on top of each other.
Nice. Warm. Happy. Toy.
The door slams open and you both wince at the light. Then go limp, as a familiar smell reaches your noses. Master. He feeds you and pampers you and loves you and fucks you and fucks you and fucks you~
Love Master. Controls Toy. Belong to Him. His-
"Toys." A question, and command. Instantly you get to your knees, staring at Him in open worship, both of you wearing nothing but a pink bow in your hair.
You see Him turn and give a thumbs up, to the sound of whoops, jeers, and whistles. They want Toy, you realize, and it makes you very proud to know how sexy you are. You must be doing a very good job for Master. Drool drips from your mouth as you smile absently.
He approaches the other Toy, and you feel sad you weren't noticed first. She grins happily as His hand cups her cheek, then, at a curt gesture, rises to her feet. "You, Toy, are for anyone to fuck. Do you know that?" A nod. "Good. Now, I've got a lot of friends out there that your moans made very hard. They need some release. Are you going to help them out?" A whimper and an enthusiastic nod. "Good Toy. Go." Toy rushes out the door to a cheering crowd, quickly muted by the door closing. From Master. You gaze at Him in longing, wanting to serve. Wanting to make Him feel good. Wanting His cock.
"On the bed." You rush to obey.
"Spread your legs." A soft moan escapes your lips.
"Only one rule today, Toy. You cum when, and only when, I say." And He settles inside you with a grunt of satisfaction. Your mind is blank, with pleasure and an overwhelming need to serve. You are a Toy. Only a Toy. A-
"Good Toy."
Squirm for Master.
Cum for Master.
Live for Master.
Good Toy.
Good Toy.
Good Toy.
Forever.
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fallingdownhell · 11 months
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May I request the Sumeru boys getting head pats and long rants about how attractive they are from their s/o who's blasted drunk?
Oh my god! This is so adorable!
Characters Included: Cyno; Tighnari; Alhaitham; Kaveh (+Wanderer)
Content: gender neutral reader; reader is drunk; fluff and funny, otherwise safe; Characters get flustered a lot
Word count: 2,8k words
I can't really write drunken slur, so just... pretend, okay? Also, I included Wanderer in this because he's technicaly a Sumeru boy and I love him and he deserves headpats. Anyways, have fun!<3
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Cyno
He sighed heavily as he adjusted your drunken and slumped body on his back, continuing his way home. He knew it would go that way. You always got way too drunk when going out with your friends.
Yet you kept insisting that you would control yourself this time. That he could relax and drink one or two drinks as well. But Cyno was a protective boyfriend, so if you said you wanted to drink, that meant he was staying sober.
And again, he was glad he made that decision as he adjusted you yet again while you slept peacefully on his back, arms hanging loosely from his shoulders.
Still, he couldn't help but smile at you. After all, you were adorable when drunk, he always had something to laugh about and tease you the next day or two, so it was fine.
"Mhhh..", you mumbled, trying to turn around on his back, but finding that you couldn't move very much.
"We're almost home, (name). Just a few more minutes, alright?"
"Hhmm.. Cyno?", you asked, still sounding sleepy from all the alcohol you've been drinking.
"Yes, (name). I'm here.", he answered and you retorted with a small hum. Thinking that you would just fall asleep again, like the last few times, he kept his eyes in front of him and on the street, but then he suddenly felt a hand in his hair.
"You have so beautiful hair..", you mumbled, quiet like a whisper, which almost made Cyno think that your words weren't meant for him to hear, but then you continued talking.
"And your face! Cyno, do you have any idea how handsome you are? It's unfair!"
Hearing you say this, so unexpected, it made his cheeks all hot, getting red just from a few compliments from his significant other. He was really glad that you couldn't see him right now.
"Hey! Did you hear me?", you suddenly yelled, but still continued to stroke through his hair while Cyno kept walking with you on his back, which only gave you the perfect access to his hair that you needed.
"Hey? Cyno!", you yelled again but he kept quiet, still flustered from your compliments. He just wasn't used to that, okay?
"Meanie... but still a handsome meanie... MY handsome meanie.."
You then started giggling, laying your head to rest on his neck, but you still kept playing with his hair..
Oh Archons above.. he would have to make sure about your memories after you woke up. He couldn't handle it if you were to tease him about his reaction (or lack thereof) to your remarks. Because sober-you would have no problem figuring out that he didn't answer out of embarrassement..
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Tighnari
Partys and such were a rare occurence within Gandharva Ville, but they did happen from time to time.
Today was such an occaision. One of the forest rangers recently got engaged and with permission from Tighnari was now hosting a small party with all his colleagues and friends.
Tighnair himself has only been a brief guest to said party. Not because he wasn't happy for the couple or didn't like the guy. It was simply because it quickly reached a state were it was just too loud for him to handle, and he didn't want to get yet another headache.
He went to the newly engaged couple for one last time, congratulating them again, before telling him the reason for his early departure. They were understanding, offering to safe him some of the leftover food, which Tighnari greatly appreciated and accepted.
You, however, decided to stay for a bit longer, which Tighnari didn't mind all that much. There weren't really that many opportunities for the people here to have fun, and he didn't want to put a damper on things, so he agreed.
He went home alone and made himself comfortable in bed, reading a book he recently started to pick up. Of course, it felt a little bit off to him, since you were missing from your usual spot by his side, but that was just his fox side being needy. He would be fine like this for a few hours.
Time continued to go by and it was now late at night, yet Tighnari could still hear that the party was far from over. However, he did get a bit of a bad feeling when he suddenly heard knocking from his front door.
"Yes?", he asked to let the person know that he was still awake.
"Ah, Master Tighnari. Sorry for the late disturbance. We were just.. hoping that you could come and collect (Name)? They're pretty drunk but refuse to be taken home by any of us."
"...I'm coming.", Tighnari sighed but still got up from bed and made his way over to the venue. It was only a short walk but even standing outside hurt his ears already from how loud it was inside.
When he walked inside, he instantly spotted you, talking to a group of Forest Rangers. Even though he was a bit further away, he clearly saw you swaying from one side to the other, people watching you closely to make sure that you wouldn't just fall to the side... Archons, you were absolutely drunk.
He sighed again as he made his way over to you. You spotted him when he was only a few more steps away. Your entire face lit up with excitement and you threw your arms out for him as you yelled "Tighnari!!"
He smiled, even though his ears hurt just a tad bit more from your hinge, but he didn't mind. It's not like you were aware of your actions right now.
"There's my beautiful boyfriend!"
He stopped at that, but didn't really have much time to react since you were throwing yourself at him. He caught you as you kept laughing and giggling, nuzzling up to his neck.
Then, the next second, you detached from him, standing by his side. "Right? Isn't he so pretty?", you looked expectantly at the forest rangers, who were all looking kinda amused at Tighnari.
"Come on, (Name), let's get home.", he tried to pull you along with him, which you let happen, to his surprise.
The entire walk back to his hut, you kept saying things like how beautiful he was and how unfair it was. To be honest, it made him flustered beyond anything.
Once he had you home and changed into your sleepwear, he just wanted to sleep, but seemed like you had other plans. You grabbed him and pulled him so that his face was now against your chest as you began to gently stroke through his hair, occaisonally scratching his ears as well.
"So pretty.. my pretty boyfriend.. very handsome..."
You kept mumbling to yourself, stroking and massaging his scalp and even though Tighnari was a blushing mess, he couldn't deny that he enjoyed the attention and the compliments..
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Alhaitham
Even though he would never admit to it, Alhaitham was staying up late because of you.
You had told him that you would be going out with your friends tonight and that you would be getting late so he didn't have to wait up on you.
Little did you know that Alhaitham had picked up a habit... he quite literally wasn't really able to sleep anymore without you either by his side in bed or just in his general presence.
Don't get him wrong, he was still able to sleep without you, it was just that his sleep tended to be a lot worse and pretty light when he was by himself than compared with you.
So, he decided to not heed your words. Instead, he made himself comfortable on the couch while he waited for you, reading one of his many books. Since Kaveh was out tonight as well, the house was silent for once and he actually got to finish his book, so he went to pick up a new one right away.
He had no idea how late it had gotten when he heard a set of keys clinging from outside. He waited until the front door opened, revealing your form to him.
He immediately put his book aside and went to greet you, but that was also when the smell of alcohol hit him. Just how much had you been drinking?
"Haitham!", you suddenly yelled and launched yourself at him. He managed to catch you, but he did stumble from the impact, making you both fall back onto the couch behind him.
You giggled as you got up from him, but when you looked in his eyes, your face suddenly got serious as you climbed on top of him, looking him dead in the eyes.
He stared back at you, trying to figure out what was going on in your head right now. But before he could say anything, you took that off of him, revealing your thoughts to him.
"Why are you so damn handsome? It's not fair! Gimme some of that!"
He was shocked and confused at your remark, but before he could say something or react otherwise, you suddenly began patting and stroking his hair, getting him even further into the confusion.
"...What are you doing?", he asked, irritated by your behaviour. You never did something like this, not even when you were drunk before.
"Giving you headpats. You desere 'em for always working so hard... and for being my handsome boyfriend!"
You smiled up at him, clearly satisfied with your explanaition, but it left Alhaitham in a mess. He put an arm up, trying to cover up his cheeks so you wouldn't notice them turning red from your words.
However, your drunken mind didn't even recognise the gesture, you just happily continued giving him headpats, not making any indication that you wanted to move from on top of him.
So, Alhaitham simply resigned to his fate, letting you do as you pleased. There was no reason for you to know that he was secretly enjoying the attention he recieved from you right now..
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Kaveh
Kaveh enjoyed a good night out with a few drinks just as much as the next person, maybe even a little more. You, on the other hand, never really enjoyed drinking and going out all that much, only doing so very rarely.
Today was a date just like any other with your boyfriend, Kaveh. However, when the two of you decided to go to a tavern, you decided that you wanted to drink something with him this time around.
Normally, you were the sober one, managing to get him back when he had a tad bit too much to drink but usually, Kaveh was pretty good at knowing his limit.
Seeing as how you wanted to drink something today, he decided to hold back on alcohol for today. You insisted that he didn't have to, but he wanted to stay sober so he could have an eye on you, just in case.
And man, was he glad he did so. Seeing as you weren't drinking much, you didn't have much tolerance for alcohol. So, you were already pretty drunk after only two or three drinks.
Kaveh had a great time however, seeing you all confused and still smiling brightly at him really only made you all the more adorable in his eyes.
He was having a great time picking at you, teasing you, until he was suddenly yanked by his collar. You had pulled him down so he was now at face level with you.
Your cheeks were flushed red from the alcohol, yet you were looking at him with a half assed, angry look in your eyes.
"What?", he asked, still smirking at you as he kept the position, remaining on eye-level with you.
"Quit teasing me already! Gods, why do you have to be so adorable when you're so annoying sometimes."
Choosing to ignore the last statement you made, Kaveh instead focused on the other thing you said about him.
"You think I'm adorable?", he continued teasing, even though his cheeks did flush a bit red at your words, but in your drunken state, you didn't realize that fact.
"Yes. And also cute, handsome, very beautiful, pretty-!"
"Okay, okay! I got it!", he suddenly yelled as he put a hand over your mouth, shutting you up effectively. Now he really wasn't able to hide his blush anymore.
He was looking to the side, trying to figure out how to go from here, when he suddenly felt a hand on his head. He whipped his head back around to you, seeing that you were now entirely focused on your hand in his hair.
You were petting him... in front of all the other customers of the tavern!
Kaveh looked at you, shocked, but not opposed to your sudden affection. You just looked at him and then flashed him your biggest smile.
Now he really didn't have the heart to tell you to stop, so he just let you do as you pleased.
And you did just that. You continued to pet and stroke through his hair, while the occaisonal compliment slipped past your lips, making him even more flustered every time he heard it.
Gosh, why did the Archons bestow him with such and adorable partner. He was sure he wasn't deserving of you, yet he soaked up the affection he was recieving like he was starving for it. It didn't matter that you were in public, he liked it all the more...
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Wanderer
'Coming home' was an experience he never thought he would have. Yet he did get that... and so much more when you entered his life.
You showed so many things to him, helped him learn and grow so much over the time, and finally helped him build a place that really felt like a 'home' to him.
He enjoyed coming back to you every single day, he adored you with every fibre of his body. There was nothing in this world he wasn't willing to do for you and your happiness.
And yet....
"Babeee!", you yelled as he walked through the front door, greeting him like you usually do when he returns.
But this time, he is stunned. He immediately smells the alcohol in the house and all around you. You're much more enthusiastic than normally, which only solidifies his assumption that you had been drinking.
You did mention that you would be having a friend over today and wanting to have one or tow drinks with her. But it seemed like that turned into a couple more drinks.
He caught you as you were charging towards him, jumping into his arms without any regards for your safety because you knew that he would catch you, without a doubt. He always did, even though he complained to you afterwards (only half-assed, but still).
You immediately hugged him, pushing his giant hat off of him, so you had better access to him, nuzzling your head into the crock of his neck.
"What the- What is wrong with you?", he asked, incredulous. He never witnessed you acting like this before, so this was entirely new territory for him.
"He he", you just giggled and nuzzled against him more, tightening your arms around his form.
He stood there for a few more seconds before sighing and resigning to his fate. He somehow managed to pick you up and carry the both of you over to the couch so you could both have it a bit more comfortable than it would be just standing around in the open.
"Mhh.. pretty boyfriend.. so handsome..", you mumbled as you rested on his chest, and the remark made him freeze up under you.
Did you just- Did you.. mean that?
You must have felt his tensing up, because you suddenly sat up a bit to look at him with a serious expression. Then, you pulled yourself up a tad bit more, so that your hand now reached his face without problem.
You continued looking at him as you stroked some stray strands of hair behind his ear, then your hand wandererd higher, now massaging his scalp, patting his head every now and then.
"So handsome.. and all mine..", you continued to mumble, still staring at him with a serious expression.
He blushed furiously from your remarks, trying to look away from you but finding himself to be unable to do so. He wanted to say something, anything really, but the words keep getting caught in his thoat, so nothing comes out.
Then, you smile softly down at him and nuzzle down against his neck again, still stroking his head.
He just sighed as his arms around you tightened just a bit more, holding you more protectively..
He would never admit to it when asked out loud, but... he really started to enjoy this...
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luveline · 5 months
Note
that spencer x bombshell one you just posted has me giggling and kicking my feet I think I’m in love with YOU 🫵
Now I’m thinking of spencer x bombshell where the team starts to not view reid as unwillingly tortured by her flirting. Like maybe Morgan makes a comment to reid about something he does and is like “don’t torture the poor girl” and he’s like oh shit I’M the one torturing too now?
im in love with YOU !! for you, ty for requesting ♡ fem
“Difficult,” you say, resting your head on the table. 
“I know.” Spencer wiggles his pen back and forth between two fingers, thinking hard. This case is proving to be indecipherable. None of the details want to add up, and no clear profile geographical or otherwise appears. 
“Useless.” 
“Who, me or you?” 
“Us.” You sigh morosely. “Mostly me.” 
You're not being serious. Spencer huffs a soft laugh and continues to turn the details over in his head. You open your notebook and scratch down a couple of sentences with a pen, a visual thinker. Your mind map turns to a second iteration and then a third. You can't connect the dots because they're too far apart from each other; Spencer can't do it either. Not alone. 
He scoots his chair as close to yours as possible, your knees touching, his elbow in your side. “Can I look?” he asks. 
“Of course you can. Sorry about my handwriting.” 
He shakes his head. Your handwriting is perhaps the only thing about you he wouldn't say was one hundred percent perfect. You can't control it like other things. It is perfect, in a way, because it's yours, but you've been writing quickly and he struggles to make out the occasional letter. 
He leans in toward the page. “What's this word?” he asks. 
You lean in to see it. “Coruscated.” 
“The swimming pool?” he asks, lifting his face to yours. You're closer now, and beautiful like this. He can see the powder under your eyes, the lines in your irises, the slight fading of your lipstick at the corners of your mouth. There's an eyelash on your cheek. He lifts a hand to wipe it away. “What's so important about that?” 
“It reminded me of something…” You pause as he touches your face. “Something…” Your voice lilts up in question, half-shudder. 
“Eyelash,” he explains, blowing it off of his finger. 
“Right,” you say, eyes oddly wide and soft at once, your eyebrows lifted at the starts. 
“You okay?” 
“Is she okay? Reid, you're torturing the poor girl. Give her some air,” Morgan says with a chuckle. 
Spencer leans backwards in surprise, no idea what Morgan could possibly mean. Your eyes relax as you regain some personal space, your hands coming together loosely in your lap. You laugh weakly. 
Spencer looks you up and down. He's torturing you? That doesn't make sense. For as long as you've known one another, the team has joked that your flirty ways and feminine wiles are too much for Spencer to handle. You once gave him an apology he didn't want, worried you actually were hurting him by being your playful self, and he'd set that straight immediately. You don't torture him. It's a lot of feelings to be doted on so much by you, and painful isn't one of them. Overwhelming, sometimes, and exciting, sure. 
He never realised he had the power to overwhelm you. Not until that moment. You offer a funny smile far from your usual smirk and try to steamroll Morgan's claim. “Guess I should've made a wish.” 
“What would you wish for?” Spencer asks quietly. 
You still. Morgan shakes his head in disapproval, but he laughs again and stands up. “I think they'd call that a taste of your own medicine, sweetheart,” he says to you. 
You meet Spencer's eye. “I think they would,” you say bashfully. 
For three blissful seconds, Spencer enjoys the reality of having made you flustered. You, gorgeous, confident you, left flushed and a little daunted by his casual actions and simple (maybe slightly flirtatious) questioning. But then he remembers how much he likes you and pushes it away. 
“Sorry,” he says, plastering a smile over uncertain lips, “I didn't mean to do that.” 
“No, it's okay.” 
He turns to your notes, but gives you a look from the side. “I hope you wished for someone to solve the case. We're never getting anywhere like this.” 
“Are you saying you can't?” You rest your chin in your hand. “And here I thought you were more than a pretty face.” 
You have a quick recovery rate, evidently. 
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morganski-19 · 6 months
Text
"I'm sorry, you're what," Gareth asks, stunned by what Eddie just said.
"I'm dating Steve." Eddie braces for the inevitable impact that is about to happen.
"Steve Harrington."
Jeff clears his throat. "Like, King Steve?"
"The Hair Harrington," Grant adds on.
"Are you out of your mind?"
Eddie sighs and lets his head fall into his hands. "See, this is why I didn't want to tell you guys. I knew you would get stuck in who he was and not who he is now and start questioning things and trying to get me to break it off."
"Well, no, let's slow down," Jeff intervenes, holding his hand out to tell Gareth to shut up. "How long have you been dating?"
Eddie tilts his head to the side. "Officially, a month."
"A month," Gareth exclaims.
"Unofficially, four months."
"FOUR MONTHS." Gareth gets up from where he was sitting and does a lap around the garage.
"That's a long time to be unofficial," Grant adds, Jeff nodding along.
Gareth gets in Eddie's face. "How could you be seeing Steve Harrington for four months and not tell us."
"Because I knew you would act just like this!"
Jeff pulls Grant back by his vest and pushes him back into the chair. "How were you guys together for three months before you made it official."
"Probably because Steve was still sleeping around," Gareth mutters.
"Oh shut it, Gareth," Grant snaps.
"He wanted it to be official pretty much the moment it started, I was just too scared to do it."
Jeff walks over and places a hand on Eddie's shoulder. "But now you're not as scared right. Now it's good between you two."
Eddie can't help the smile that forms on his face. "Yeah, it is."
"But why him?" Gareth asks, clearly upset by this information. "You saw who he was in high school man. Friends with the people who made fun of us for fun. Total player. Cared more about his looks and reputation than anything else."
"Oh like you don't do the same thing," Grant ruffles Gareth's hard.
"Seriously, why him?"
"Cause for the first time when I ran away, he came looking for me."
Gareth gives him a blank stare. "What."
Eddie stands up, shaking his head. "You know me, can't have anything good. The moment people start to care about me, especially romantically, I run away. Can't handle it. Took Wayne long enough to get me in, but that's different. You guys kept coming back, but that was different too. No one who ever wanted me like that gave enough of a shit about me to come find me after I ran away. He did."
"Ed-"
"The first big fight we had, I thought it was over. He wanted something more and I was so sure I wasn't enough for him. That he was just going to realize down the road that I was nothing. So I started a fight, picked a nerve I knew would hit just right so that it would end right then and there. And I knew he would fight back, and he did. So I ran away, thinking that it was over. The next morning he came back and apologized, like he had anything to apologize for. He came after me. And kept doing it. He knew that I didn't mean it, that this was just a defense. For the first time, no one let me run away."
"Shit," Gareth exhales. "That's pretty great."
Jeff claps Eddie on the back. "Really great.
"Can we meet him, officially," Grant asks.
"Yeah sure, he's been asking about you guys. Wants to come to a show sometimes."
"I can't believe Steve Harrington is going to be one of our regulars."
Grant gasps. "Our first groupie."
"Oh my god, yes."
"Guys stop it, it's not that serious."
"Sounds pretty serious to me," Gareth gets up again and walks over to Eddie. "I'm sorry for judging him. If," he looks up and takes a deep breath. "If he makes you happy, then I guess he's ok. But I want to meet him and scare the shit out of him."
Eddie snorts. "Yeah, good luck with that."
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harleehazbinfics · 24 days
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Can We? an au lucifer x reader oneshot
Author Profile a/n: SURPRISEEEEEE. i got 'we become we' -journey to jerusalem song on a loop since i found it and i knew i wasn't gonna get it out of my system unless i do something about it. so pls enjoy my ramblings lmfao word count: 1200+
"Your Majesty, please reconsider this! Our kingdom needs a Queen!"
Lucifer sighs at the aide's words, feeling irritated with the insistent suggestion of a Queen.
"I agree, your majesty. The people are quite worried for you. You need an heir, and you aren't getting any younger either," another aide jumps in.
Lucifer surrenders to them with hands in the air in exasperation and finally replies, "Fine."
The people in the room sigh in relief that they somehow got through to him. But hitch their breath when he adds on.
"However, I won't just choose anyone. Only the best candidate will stand by my side and be rightfully called the Queen," he glares.
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"Good day, your majesty. My name is (full name), Princess of the Eastern Kingdom. I'm grateful for this opportunity," you smile amiably.
"Likewise," he responds quite honestly shocked from your tone.
You were the guest that was expected to arrive at the palace after receiving the invitation to be a Queen candidate. However, after word got around that you will be joining the fight for the title. All the ladies mutually agreed to resign. When he asked why, all the aide's replies were, "There is no other person worthy to be by your side other than the Princess."
Now, you stood in front of him. You were dressed beautifully, but not as extravagant as those ladies that came before him. You had a melodic tone in your voice that was pleasant to the ear. Your hands folded together gracefully. Everything about you was enchanting.
You tilt your head confused about his speechlessness. "Did I catch you in the wrong time?" you ask him.
His cheeks reddened, embarrassed that you left him dazed just from your introduction alone.
"No no," he excuses then coughs to get a grip on himself, "I apologize. I must have been tired from all the work this morning."
You give him an understanding smile and reply, "No apologies needed, your majesty. I feel honored to be here and see how hard you work. I'm sure this kingdom is grateful to have such a diligent King."
His blush intensifies from your non-stop flattery. He's heard many compliments in his life for his achievements. However, when you were the one saying those words. He can't help but believe it was all true with how genuine you sounded.
"Please, I'm quite embarrassed to hear such words from you, Princess. I've heard many tales of your acts of charity for your and other neighboring kingdoms. You've paved the way for others to follow in your example and gave a chance for the poor, homeless and orphaned," he redirected trying to calm his flaring cheeks.
He was pleasantly surprised at your reaction.
"P-Please! You've heard of that? Oh, I'm embarrassed! I hope only good thing reached your ears," you stumbled over your words when the attention turned back to you.
He laughs at you as you tried to hide behind your hair as you also flushed red. 'For someone, who gives out so many compliments. She can't even handle a couple of her own.'
'This wasn't such a bad idea,' he thought as he watched as you smile and continue talking to him.
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"(Y/n), can I ask you something?" he says sitting at the edge of the bed where you sat beside while reading a book.
It had been several weeks since your marriage and it's been quite busy for the both of you as you adjusted to your married life. Lucifer finished paperwork for his projects and formal preparations for your ascension to your rights as the new Queen. Thankfully, it had finally calmed down and now you helped him with his work and even the inner management of the castle.
You have shared the room since the beginning, and you've already shared your first night as husband and wife together. Which was.. quite passionate to say the least. But, after both of you would wake up earlier or later than the other, too considerate to wake up the other from their well-earned rest. So, now that it has finally calmed down and Lucifer approached you. You couldn't help but feel nervous.
"Of course, anything," you reply putting away the book and taking his hand in yours.
He smiles and gains courage as he caresses your hand back and says, "Are you okay with this arrangement?"
You tilt your head unsure of the meaning, "About what?"
"This," he gestures to the both of you, "are you okay about our marriage?"
You huff out a laugh relieved, you thought it was a life or death situation, "Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?"
He shrugs and replies, "I don't know. I just thought you were having doubts about us."
You give him a meaningful look and stood up from your spot. You then tugged him to stand with you. You made him hold your waist and hand while you placed yours on his shoulder. You led him into a slow dance with a smile on your face.
"Remember, our dance together?" you asked.
"At the wedding?" he asks.
You shook your head and laughed, "We danced one together way before that. That night where we shared the stars together."
His eyes lit up, remembering that night.
"During that dance, I thought that being with you will be worthwhile. And if wherever this choice leads me. I won't regret being with you, Lucifer," you say with a deep look in your eyes.
His eyes soften as he gazed at you. You were nothing but wonderful to him, it was childish of him to assume you were having doubts. He should have trusted you and made you happy instead. You deserve nothing less than that.
"Can we become more Than half of a union we're chosen for?"
He sings as he pulls you closer to him.
"Where I am your best half And I am yours,"
You continue with a huge smile on your face as you followed his lead, gliding around the room.
"Stuck here forever And hopefully not ending in estrangement,"
You sang together faces inching towards each other with half lidded eyes.
"Can mine become yours Combining our dreams Without keeping score?"
You twirled around the room with him catching you. He opens the door and leads you out into the halls where you continued your dance.
"Always together, but never bored No choice in the matter but This will never work without each other,"
The both of you laugh like children as you chased each other down the halls.
"Can we become we? (Can we become we?) Start a new line on this family tree,"
He catches up to you and lifts you off the ground and kisses your cheek with a hearty chuckle from your deviousness.
"Two hearts connected by one beat, Your hand in mine and,"
You beam him a smile as you placed your hands on his chest feeling the rhythmic thumping of his heart from chasing you around.
"I could never choose to love another," Lucifer whispers as he pulls you into a kiss which you return with fervor.
After minutes of kissing one another, he places you down and hold your waist as places another kiss on your temple with a beaming smile. You return it and let him lead you back to your room.
"Maybe one day I can learn to love you, too," you whisper as you gave a passing gaze at the portrait of a blonde woman with her face covered with a large cloth.
Other Lucifer Fics:
@bonnie-02 @marxo5 @whaatttlaufey @froggybich @rybunnie @midorichoco @bontensbabygirl @janey @akiqvq @wonderlandangelsposts @spoiled-slutt @preciousbabypeter @roboticsuccubus83 @simbalioness @reachthestars @atlas-rin @manachpo@luc1fersducky @lovestruck-enby @azullynxx @delightedtosee @cherry-4200 @aria-tempest @lvstyangel @0strawberrysorbet0 @corvid007 @kaminarithebest @whydosnakesnotdance @psychoanalyze0 @sweetadonisbutbetter @lunalily19 @dionysusismypatrongod @skyeliteratures @sappire904
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cryptidghostgirl · 3 months
Note
Can I ask for a similar scenarios for Unrequited (Alastor x reader). It could be a part 2 technically ♥️♥️
Reader defending Husk from Alastor when he threatens him in ep 5?? Breaking their already destroyed friendship even more. I NEED ANGST IN MY LIFE
A/N uh,, of course??? i love this idea??? I... I'm obsessed. I'm literally so excited to write this. I hope you like whatever I come up with. If you requested something I will get it out in the next couple days!! I'm trying to be quick.
Unrequited Pt. 2 (Alastor x Reader)
Pairing: Alastor x Reader
Warnings: Angst and an unhealthy as fuck relationship. Pining. Non-mutual pining.
Word Count: 2,681 (The way this is like twice as long as part one. I got excited. Sorry guys.)
Part One: Unrequited (Alastor x Reader)
Master Lists:
Master Lists 
Hazbin Hotel Master List
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"So, once we have the proof that redemption is possible," Charlie was explaining to her father as they walked through the halls of the hotel, Vaggie and Alastor trailing behind the pair, "this whole hotel will be full of demons wanting to check out into Heaven. We just need a little more time to prove it. The sharing circles haven't been working as fast as I hoped-"
"Hey, Boss. Can we have a word?" Husk cut in.
Alastor stopped in his tracks, an eyebrow raised. Placing an arm behind his back, he turned to face the cat demon in irritation.
"What is it?" Alastor asked, his narrowed eyes the only thing about his face which displayed his true emotions.
Alastor's gaze softened slightly as he realized Y/n was standing beside Husk. She grabbed her left arm with her right, rubbing it in obvious discomfort as she looked away from Alastor and Husk, examining the walls with determination.
"Listen, we all know Mimzy only shows up when she needs somethin'." Husk sighed after a moment, realizing he wasn't going to be getting anything but moral support from his anxious and angry companion, "That bitch is trouble, and who knows what kinda demon she fucked with to come running to you this time?"
Alastor took a step forward, watching the two demon's carefully. Irritation ticked at the back of his head like a countdown for a bomb. He had to be careful. There was already so much wrong between Y/n and himself, he had no desire to make any of it worse. Alastor, as much as he hated it, knew she was close with Husk, cared for him even. He tried his best to remain calm.
"It's nothing I can't handle. Don't worry, Husker." Alastor turned away, moving to head back down the hallway after the rest of the tour, "Who in their right mind would cross me?"
Y/n looked over at her companion, feeling a shift in the air beside her. He had is fists clenched, his brow furrowed. Gently, she placed a hand on his shoulder.
Husk turned, meeting Y/n's eyes. She gave him a pointed look, one that reminded him who he was talking to. One that asked him to be careful. Husk took a deep breath and unclenched his muscles. Y/n's hand fell back to her side.
"I mean..." Husk tried to chose his words carefully. He was honestly worried about the whole Mimzy situation and wasn't going to give it up, "you've been gone a while and it's not like anyone knows why."
Alastor stilled, turning his head slightly to the side. He watched Husk carefully over his shoulder as he replied.
"They don't need to know." Alastor turned to face Husk fully now, leaning towards him with a finger in the air, "And don't you worry your fuzzy head about it."
Husk growled, pushing Alastor's hand from his head as the Radio Demon tried to scratch his ears.
"You may own my soul, but I ain't your fucking pet!" he snapped, poking Alastor harshly in the chest.
"But you are!" Alastor laughed, straightening himself.
Husk was trembling with anger now, unable to hold himself back. Alastor turned again, once more making to rejoin the group he had left and Husk watched him through narrowed eyes.
Y/n nudged Husk's foot lightly with the tip of her boot in an effort to remind him to keep his cool, but Husk brushed it off entirely. He stepped forward, out of her reach.
"Big talk for someone who's also on a leash."
Y/n sighed. Alastor stopped walking. The lights flickered out in the hall for a moment.
"Aha, what did you say?"
Alastor barley turned to look at them as he spoke. It was enough that Y/n caught the dials in his eyes, a sign he was truly and genuinely angry.
"Oh fuck." she mumbled under her breath as Husk began to back away.
"Nothing." he insisted, "I, um-"
Husk excuses were cut short as the all too familiar green chain and collar formed in the air around him. Alastor, his back still to Husk, tugged the chain. The cat demon fell to the floor, his eyes wide and wild with fear.
"If you ever say that again," Alastor threatened, his back still to Husk as he began to wrap his end of the chain around his microphone, pulling it taught, "I will tear your soul apart and broadcast your screams..."
There was a resistance in the chain. Alastor stopped speaking and turned around, his rage growing by the second. He opened his mouth to yell, he felt his demon form aching to come out. Everything stopped when he realized what was actually happening.
Alastor had assumed Husk had found something to hold on to, that he was fighting back. Alastor had been wrong. Instead, in the space between the two demons stood Y/n. She had her hands wrapped tightly around the green chain and was using all her weight to pull it back towards Husk. Alastor's mouth fell slightly open, his brow furrowed. He hadn't known someone not involved in a deal could touch the chains.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Y/n yelled, yanking the chain harshly towards her.
The movement caught Alastor off guard. He stumbled forward a few steps before catching his balance.
"Nothing is wrong with me, dearest." he cordially replied, quickly regaining his composure, "I'm simply reminding our favorite Husker where his place is in the world."
As Alastor spoke, he switched his menacing gaze back to Husk who was trembling on the floor behind Y/n.
"You're a dick!" Y/n exclaimed, trying to pull Alastor towards her again with the chain.
This time, he was ready for it and stood his ground as Y/n continued to speak.
"He was genuinely worried about you, you know? I didn't want to ask about this Mimzy shit, I wanted to watch you fucking fail for once but Husk? He was worried. He cared about you, and what do you do?"
Y/n exhaled sharply, shaking her head. Alastor watched in awe. This was the biggest reaction he'd gotten out of the girl in years. He had no idea how to react. It was oddly heartbreaking, oddly exhilarating.
"I just... god, I can't believe I ever trusted you."
The chain disappeared in Alastor's shock. Y/n regarded him carefully for a moment before she decided not to waste time and turned to Husk. Crouching down before him, she slowly helped her friend to his feet. Allowing him to balance on her, Y/n began to lead the still trembling Husk down the hallway back to the lobby.
Husk couldn't help but notice, Y/n's hands were far from still either. He looked over at her: brow furrowed, eyes narrowed, a tight frown on her lips. Husk opened his mouth to speak, to thank her, to ask if she was okay but before he could say a word, Alastor spoke again.
"Y/n, I'd like a word with you."
She stilled and so did Husk. This time, it was her turn to keep her back towards Alastor, rather than him keeping his to them. If she had learned anything from Alastor over the years, it was how power worked. Right now, she had the slightest bit of an upper hand unless he decided to use the chain of her own deal. Y/n wanted to keep it that way for as long as possible.
"Why?" she asked harshly after a moment.
Husk raised his eyebrows, reiterating the unspoken warning he'd ignored from her just a few moments before.
"Please."
Now that was unexpected. Y/n sighed, turning to Husk.
"You okay to go down on your own?"
"Yeah." Husk nodded, "Thank you."
"Anytime."
Y/n took his arm from her shoulder. Had it been anyone else, Husk would have been embarrassed, would have never accepted the help in the first place. This was Y/n, this was different. If anyone understood, she did.
"You gonna be okay, kid?" Husk asked in a hushed voice as she squared her shoulders, turning to face Alastor.
"Yeah." she hummed softly in return, "Always am, aren't I?"
Y/n took a handful of long, confident strides that landed her in front of Alastor once again. She stood tall and confident before him as he smiled menacingly down at her. Husk stood, watching them for a moment before Alastor looked over at him.
"Run along now, Husker." he playfully called to the reluctant cat demon, "I won't keep your soldier long."
Husk made no reply or move to leave until Y/n turned her head to the side, sending him a careful look over her shoulder.
"It's all good. I promise."
Husk nodded hesitently before at last turning around and heading back to the lobby. Y/n and Alastor watched one another carefully, niether saying a word until Husk was fully out of ear shot.
"What did you want to see me about?" Y/n asked coldly, crossing her arms, ready to be punished and not the least bit regretful of what she had done.
"I simply wanted to apologize." Alastor hummed, everything suddenly feeling a lot closer to normal.
Y/n's eyes narrowed in suspicion.
"For what?" she asked after a moment, when it became clear Alastor would explain nothing without her prompting.
"That you had to witness that."
"I-" Y/n cut herself off with a sigh, shaking her head slightly, "Jesus fuck, Al."
"Language." he warned and Y/n just glared at him. He changed his tactic. "What ever is the matter, my dear?"
"You are just... why are you apologizing to me?" Y/n demanded, frustration seeping into her voice like sweet sticky honey that caught on everything, "Go apologize to Husk. As I already said, I was hoping this... Mimzy thing... would let me see you fail. He just wanted to help you, and look where that got him."
Alastor's perpetual smile softened slightly around it's edges.
"Why are you so set on watching me fail?" he asked after a a few tense seconds.
Y/n let out a rueful laugh, letting her arms fall from around her chest and settling her hands on her hips.
"Because gosh, wouldn't it just be lovely?" she grinned back at him.
"What?"
"If you got a taste of your own medicine." she taunted, "Caring about someone, trusting them with everything you have, only to have that very thing be the weapon they hold against you in the end."
Of course, it all came back to that. Alastor couldn't blame her.
"Y/n, I don't know how many times I have to say it for you to believe me, but I really did not intend for things to turn out this way." Alastor sighed.
Seven years since he'd seen her and it only took them what, four/five months to come back to this conversation? A new record.
"It doesn't matter how you intended for them to be, it's how they are."
She spun on her heel, taking a few steps towards the lobby before coming to a stop once again.
"Sorry, I forgot." she spat, not turning to look at him, "May I go now, sir?"
"I..." Alastor cleared his throat, "Of course. I have business to attend to."
"Great."
Alastor stood in the hallway, watching Y/n as she disappeared around the corner, watching the air she had occupied. He sighed, there was nothing to be done. There had been some small hope that somehow, someway, the hotel would hope. Clearly, he had been wrong. Alastor shook his head softly in the quiet peace of the hallway.
He wanted to give up on Y/n, he knew he should but still... he just couldn't. It was like a puzzle he was missing a piece of, a game he hadn't quite figured out how to win. A challenge. Alastor never backed down from one of those. He never had before and he certainly wasn't going to start now.
The strange jittery feeling of determination began to feed into his chest cavity through his veins. Doubt, anger, hurt, heartbreak -- all of it was being flushed out and replaced with sheer stubbornness. Alastor couldn't help but feel if he had Y/n, then everything would be okay. That she was the answer to his problems, that if she could love him then he would finally have won. What? Not even Alastor himself could say but that wasn't going to stop him. Nothing was.
----
Y/n sat down at the bar with a sigh as Husk quickly poured her a drink.
"Thank you." he awkwardly said as she downed the glass in one gulp, tapping the edge to ask for a refil.
"For what?" Y/n casually replied as he refilled her cup.
She picked it back up again, this time taking only a single small sip. She savored the second drink and Husk leaned forward on the bar.
"You know what." he rolled his eyes pointedly.
Thankfully Angel and Sir Pentions were keeping Mimzy entertained in the sitting room. None of the trio seemed to notice Husk and Y/n's return. Y/n swiveled her barstool around, leaning her back on the bar top as she watched them enjoy one another's company.
"Shit, Husk." she sighed, "You know me."
"I do." Husk nodded, straightening up and turning to place the bottle of liquor back on the shelf, "What I don't know is how you had the balls to pull something like that."
"I'm not afraid of him." Y/n shrugged, taking another little sip of her drink.
"Bullshit." Husk scoffed and Y/n turned back to him.
"I swear it, I'm not."
"How." Husk asked, eyeing her suspiciously, waiting for her to drop the act, "I felt you shaking earlier."
Y/n shook her head.
"Nah, that wasn't fear. I was just fucking pissed."
"He's the Radio Demon, he literally owns our souls, Y/n. How are you not scared of him."
Y/n's eyes fell onto the contents of her glass as she shrugged again, swirling the liquid around in the bottom of her glass.
"I..." she sighed, "I mean, you know this. I didn't know that's what was going on until..." she trailed off, clearing her throat, "We were friends, for a while actually."
"I know. I remember."
"I cared about him."
The truth hit Husk in the face like a speeding truck.
"Holy shit." he laughed in disbelief, "You like, cared cared about him, didn't you?"
Y/n's cheeks flushed the slightest bit pink. She met Husk's eyes once again.
"I think I was starting to."
"That's why your not scared of him. You loved him."
"Yeah." Y/n sighed after a moment, a sharp pain cutting through her chest like someone was cracking open her ribcage in a morgue, "I guess. Did being the operative word there of course, as in: not anymore. Not that he could ever love someone anyways even if I still did. Oh! Also, if he apologizes to you, tell me?"
"Wh..." Husk's brow furrowed in confusion at the sudden change in topic, "Why would he apologize to me, Y/n?"
"I maybe yelled at him."
"I... you're gonna get yourself killed one day."
Y/n laughed a bright, genuine laugh and Husk smiled over at her in return.
"Maybe." she smirked, leaning over the counter at him, "At least I'll have you to plan my funeral."
"Oh like I'd do that." Husk teased.
"Sure you would."
"Yeah. I'd have it at a gas station."
"Hey, rude." Y/n scoffed, "If you died, I'd throw yours at a casino or something. I'd expect the same kinda treatment on your end for me."
Husk shook his head softly, smiling. At the end of the day, he couldn't help feeling a little lucky for Alastor's deal. How else was he supposed to have met his best friend?
"Yep. Definitely gonna be at a gas station."
---
A/N I'm sorry Husk and the reader are besties and that's what this ended up being about. Yeah. Uh. Yeah.
Unrequited Pt. 3
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torasplanet · 3 months
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❝𝙏𝙃𝙍𝙀𝙀 𝙒𝙊𝙍𝘿𝙎.ᐟ❞
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K. BAKUGOU, S. TODOROKI, & I. MIDORIYA + SHY!GN. READER
𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮 ; the main three when their shy/anxious s/o finally says 'i love you'<3
𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜 ; fluff, hcs + scenarios, new relationships, literally that's it and skin color not mentioned
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IZUKU MIDORIYA
izu just can't with this.
he understands how you're shy and all of that so it might take you some time to get comfortable saying those things
hell he even was scared to say it too but this long??? really?
izu has begun to think that you'd never say it at this rate...
he got so scared that you didn't love him at all and was just too scared to tell him the truth because you didn't wanna hurt his feelings!
or maybe he's just overthinking again...
that doesn't matter because izu never tells you his concerns. he wants you to take your time
he doesn't wanna rush you and make it forced!
that being said...when you finally do say it on your own, he thinks he just might lose his mind.
izuku's anxious sitting at his desk with you right beside him almost breaking the pencil in half and it was a mechanical pencil. he was holding back because he didn't want to frighten you but he just couldn't sit here while you're looking so cute.
he wanted to say he loved how cute you looked so bad but he was worried that maybe it'd make you uncomfortable since you weren't saying i love you to him yet.
that had been getting to him a lot lately and he didn't know how to handle it without talking to you. he knew how you were and didn't want to make it worse. see izuku himself was a fairly shy person, well not so much as he was in middle school but he understood you and your feelings but not enough for it to not bother him!
"ohhh! i get it now!" you exclaimed leaning back in your chair. your sudden loud speech snapped izuku out of his thoughts and he smiled at you sweetly with a hum escaping him.
you gave him a grin "thanks izu! i love you, i don't know what i'd do without you." you spoke without thinking and immediately closed your eyes out of embarrassment at what he'd say in response. you didn't think about what you were saying, you just said the first thing that came to mind...when you heard a loud bang, you opened your eyes and looked at your boyfriend with wide eyes.
izu's face was planted on the desk and he was letting out a hum that didn't seem positive or anything; more like he was a kettle on the stove. "oh uhm...are you okay?" you hesitantly asked going to reach for him but he snapped up before you could touch him. izuku's face was bright red and it looked like he was burning up "i love you too!" he shouted with a smile on his face clearly happy that you finally said that. you were a bit weirded out but at least he was happy.
KATSUKI BAKUGOU
oh please don't even get me started on katsuki...
like izu, he was really upset about you not saying you love him especially when he said it to you first and you didn't say it back
but unlike izuku, he could give less than a fuck about not wanting to talk to you about it
the only thing that stopped him from doing that was that denki told him that he'd probably hurt your feelings like that and that was the last thing he wanted to do so for once, he shut up
but his aggression was fairly obvious because every time he said he loved you with that frown on his face, it'd get deeper when you didn't say it back and just smiled at him
katsuki felt like he'd actually blow up a building if you took longer to say it.
"what the hell are you doing up there!?" katsuki shouted from down below in the training area while you stood on one of the buildings looking for denki who was supposed to be your other partner.
you looked down at the masked boy very cautiously i might add and just nervously gave him an 'uh' showing you didn't know. katsuki grunted in frustration as he looked around to see if there was any one from the other team around to make sure that you guys didn't lose. he was already beginning to sweat just from pure anger.
when the class was splitting up to go to the locker rooms for costume changes, katsuki had told you he loved you and that he'd see you on the grounds but...you didn't say it back. you just laughed a bit showing that you were growing embarrassed and gave him a very small peck on his cheek.
see katsuki did appreciate that but he wanted an 'i love you' back not a kiss especially not a little baby kiss to the cheek that one of his cousins would give him but again, he stayed silent and just grumbled under his breath in the lockerroom. he was already pissed off from that but now denki was nowhere to be found? that dumb fucker was probably lost.
little did the both of you know, he was behind you planning on surprising you which was not the best idea considering you were almost dangling over the edge of a building right now. "boo!" denki shouted in your ear making you jump and lose your footing. you slipped and fell off the edge of the building with a yelp drawing your boyfriend's attention.
he was quick to blast up into the air and catch you in his arms before you even slightly neared the ground "oh my god! i love you so much 'suki!" you said in desperation as you wrapped your arms around him and clutched onto him in fear that you'd fall. katsuki would never drop you but he almost did when he heard you finally say it back to him.
"ha! i thought you'd never say it!" katsuki shouted with a grin on his face as he landed on the ground, your face still stuffed in his shoulder. you hadn't even realized what you said until he just pointed it out "oh..." you muttered feeling embarrassment creep up on you as your boyfriend put you on the ground. you put your palms to your face to cover you hot face but the blonde grabbed your hands and forcefully pulled them away from your face "stop that shit! if you think i don't love you back, i do." katsuki said muttering the last part a little lower because denki was shouting apologies from the top of the building and could probably hear a few things.
katsuki had a bit to learn about embarrassment when saying that kind of stuff too.
SHOTO TODOROKI
pls dont ever talk to him about this
he'll actually just sit there silent probably dying inside
shoto has had his fair share of not getting told i love you or getting a sort of warped kind of love so you not saying i love you isn't something relatively new to him
but he still hates it.
he can't even begin to explain the ache in his chest when ou don't say it back to him, not like he'd ever explain it to anyone
unlike both of the other boys, he's extremely patient and no matter how he feels, he won't throw small tantrums over you not saying it and will just wait
but as he waited, he got more needy for hearing those three words
"sho..." you whined dragging out the o in your boyfriend's name while you tried to get up from under the many blankets shoto had you bundled under. he had the whole work for you.
thermometer on the bedside desk and cold medicine right next to it while you continuously sneezed and coughed in bed. you had gotten sick recently and your darling two-toned-haired boyfriend had been there for every step! making you food, running your baths, just being a complete sweetheart.
shoto, by default, was a sweet boyfriend but he had been a little extra kind lately in hopes that you'd tell him that you loved him for all of his efforts of going out of his way for you. he didn't know what was going on in your brain but he clearly knew you well because that was what you were planning to do.
telling the boy that you loved him would be the perfect way to express your gratitude to him for all he's done throughout your sickness that was caused by your stupidity of going to the market in the cold night after getting out of the shower "coming, my love." shoto said waddling into the room with a bowl of steaming ramen on the small wooden table he had in his hands to make it easier for you to eat in bed. he was really playing the house husband role.
"here, the broth will make you feel better. i promise." the boy said setting the table on the bed just above your legs while kneeling to the ground, you smiled at the todoroki boy deciding that this was the perfect time to tell him that you loved him.
with a blow toward the scalding bowl, you uttered the words quietly "i love you sho." you grew shy after saying that not knowing how he'd respond and his silence ate you alive. you grabbed your chopsticks as you kept your head down to avoid eye contact "sorry, just ignore it–" "no." he interrupted your excuse almost making you knock the bowl over with now fast your body turned to look at him again.
sho's cheeks were flushed a light pink "i love you too. just didn't expect you to say that." he said chuckling lightly with a smile on his face. it might've been true that he wished for you to say it now but it still surprised him.
in a good way though... "can i have a kiss?" you asked smiling back at your boyfriend who still gave you a close-eyed grin, sho stood to his feet "no. you will get me sick." he replied in a monotone before beginning to walk away muttering how he was going to get you something to drink.
you whined loudly throwing your head back. "sho....!"
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©torasplanet .ᐟ reblogs and likes are very appreciated! pls do not repost!!
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xo-cod · 7 months
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Hiii!! ummm… could u write sth fluffy for Simon w/ his pregnant wife pls it's ok if u can't love your stuff btw❤️
i don't even like babies but i'd give this man everything 😮‍💨😵‍💫😵‍💫 he's so fucking fine 😭
hope you enjoy babe <33 it's rushed i know 😭
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"no. absolutely not. you set that down right now" before you could even breathe, you heard the stern command of your husband right behind you. it was in the same voice he used when he spoke to johnny or gaz, telling them to behave and stop messing about or to the recruits that joined. either way, it was a voice primarily used by ghost. not by simon who was your dearest husband
"si... i can handle this" you sigh, raising a brow as you turn around. he has that frown on his face, creasing his forehead while his lips were set in a straight line. it would've been adorable and had you not been a little annoyed, you might've marvelled at how beautiful simon looked even when he was annoyed
"you're eight months pregnant. the only lifting you need to be doing is taking your arse from the sofa to bed" he swooped in and took the box from you, holding it in his hands as he chuckles softly. he gave you a sweet kiss to your lips, nuzzling your cheek a little
"m'sorry love but you know how i feel about you bending and lifting anythin'. you'll hurt yourself or the baby. i couldn't bear that" he grimaced slightly, shaking his head to rid the thought of any injury to you. your unimpressed face brings a soft chuckle to his lips as he sets down the box on the side, wrapping his arms around your waist as he caressed your swollen belly. his chin rested on your shoulder as he took in how far along you were. and how beautiful this was, the greatest gift you could've ever given him.
he knows the strain this pregnancy is having on your body and every single pain you experience makes his heart ache because he can't get rid of it for you. even with his support and assistance and help, your pains still make him feel so guilty for being the one to do this to you even if you both wanted it. he's a little more clingy during the last trimester of the pregnancy, he almost damn nears having a heart attack when you want to help and carry objects that are a pound heavier.
it's just in simon's nature to care deeply and it doesn't help all the parenting books he's read up on makes him that much more protective over you. still, he doesn't want to overwhelm you so he tries to hold back even if it nearly kills him in doing so.
"you look so goddamn beautiful, lovie" he hummed softly in your ear, his thumb stroking tender circles on your hip whilst he gently rocked you both side to side
"you're just saying that" a soft chuckle leaves your lips and he narrows his eyes a little, amused at your words
"you know i've never lied to you before and i don't intend startin that now. you're beautiful. you're so beautiful to me, baby" he spoke with nothing but pure sincerity in his voice, his dark brown eyes sparkling underneath the living room lights. they're just so expressive, you can't help but lean into him with pure love at how you could've scored such a perfect guy.
it's such a warm intimate moment shared between the two of you, his hand gently rubbing over your baby bump while he holds holds you close. his whole family in his arms <33
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seresinhangmanjake · 19 days
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Simon "Ghost" Riley x Soap's Sister!reader
Summary: Because Johnny found him sleeping with his sister, Simon had to live the last three months without you, but he's about to get his girl back.
warnings/notes: a little smut 18+, cursing, drinking. That's probably it. Oh, typos, im sure, as well.
words: 1830
Part 1
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He drinks at the same bar. The one his team practically lived in when they were all together for an evening, but that doesn’t happen anymore, not with the entire group. Johnny stays home if he knows Simon will be attending the night out, and Simon, if informed Johnny wants to be with the team, elects to remove himself from the situation for everyone’s comfort. He figures it’s the least he can do. He’d slept with his best mate’s sister, he’d fallen in love with his best mate’s sister, and so he has taken on the consequences, no matter how infuriating and unreasonable and unfair. 
“You want another, Honey?�� the bartender asks. She grins. Her eyes shine with desire, as they have all night, and it might be a pleasant sight if Simon had never met you. He might’ve taken her home, fucked her like a toy until he was spent and she was happily ruined by his cock before he kicked her out. But she isn’t you. No woman is you.
“Keep ‘em comin’,” Simon replies, downing the amber liquid in his glass. 
Suddenly, the stool beside him slides across the hardwood floor, now occupied by a newcomer he wouldn’t hesitate to shove to their ass if he could do so without causing a scene. What kind of rude bastard risks sitting next to someone when ten other seats are open?
“Actually lass, do me a favor and cut ‘im off. I need ‘im in his right mind.”
Simon almost chokes at Johnny's voice but he doesn’t turn his head as he slowly sets the glass back down on the counter, his fingers tightening around it. Anger, confusion, pain, anxiety. It all crashes over him in a hefty wave, because rolled into this one man is both the friend Simon has missed for months and the asshole who has forced him to be apart from the love of his life. And it’s almost too much to handle at once.
“I’ll take his drink,” Johnny tells the bartender, who has lost all hope now that the man she’s been attempting to charm is no longer lonely enough to be convinced to take her home. When she places the glass in front of him, he takes a sip. “You look like shit, Ghost.”
“What do you want?”
“We got a problem,” Johnny says, getting right to it. “A bit of a disaster, really, and I gave it my best shot, but I can’t fix it.” Simon blinks. His brows pinch. Johnny drains the remainder of the alcohol and wipes his mouth with the back of his forearm. “She’s miserable. And considerin’ the timeline, I’d wager it’s because she’s without you.”
Simon’s heart—though had fallen from his chest months ago—sinks lower into his gut. 
“Look, I didn' believe it was that deep,” Johnny continues. “Figured you were jus’ messin’ around. Being stupid and disrespectful with my baby sister. But I cannot have her miserable, Ghost. It won’t do.” He looks at Simon and releases a long sigh. “She loves you. I don’ like it but she does, and you need to make it better.”
“What exactly are you askin’ of me?”
Johnny’s eyes land back on the empty glass. He plants his elbows on the counter and rubs his fingers across his forehead, kneading the wrinkles. “Just…go to her, alright?”
That snaps Simon out of his grumbly attitude. “You serious?”
“Unfortunately,” Johnny says. 
Simon practically leaps out of his seat, nearly knocking the stool to the floor as he shrugs on his jacket. He’s almost at the door, but then he stops. Taking a breath, he turns back to his old friend. “Will you be able to handle this?” Simon asks. “Me and her? Because you can't ask me to let her go, Johnny. Not twice.”
Johnny takes a second, then he gives a brief nod. “I’ll adjust. Somehow. With time; lots of time.”
It isn't much reassurance, but it's enough for Simon to be on his way. He rushes out the door, jumps into his truck, and races down the road. He forgets the seatbelt. Ignores the speed limit signs. You don’t live far, and you’re worth the risk if it means getting to you faster. 
He knows the elevator in your building is much too slow because he’s been in it a hundred times. He has made out with you in it; fucked you in it, slamming the emergency button so no one could interrupt on the nights you couldn’t wait to get to your bedroom. So he takes the stairs. Two at a time, up eight flights, and down the hall. With a heaving chest, he bangs on your door. 
“Love, open up!” He knocks harder. Loud enough to make your neighbor pop her head into the hall to understand the ruckus. 
“Oh, wonderful. You've returned,” the old woman huffs. “And just when I was starting to believe I’d never again have to endure listening to that moaning and groaning at all hours.”
“We talked ‘bout this back in June, Mrs. Brimsby. Get yourself some earplugs,” Simon retorts before calling for you again. “Baby, please, it‘s me!”
“I’ll report the two of you for the noise.”
“You probably should. You’re in for a long night.” He hears a scoff but doesn’t bother to glance in the direction it comes from. 
“Still so disrespectful,” she spits before slamming the door to her apartment. 
Simon has held a low level of hatred for the old bat since the morning after the first time you’d slept together. It was an early Sunday full of soft touches and kisses and tea to nurse the mild hangovers you’d both had because of a couple of drinks the night before—the drinks that allowed the two of you to finally surrender to the sexual tension. After kissing you goodbye, he’d stepped out of your apartment with a smile he hadn't donned in quite some time, only to have it wiped away from the unexpected grandma in a collared nightgown tapping her foot as she stroked the fur of the cat in her arms. 
“You kept us up all night,” she had scolded. “We need our sleep.” The cat then hissed for emphasis. 
Now, Simon has never been so happy to have that woman blathering in his ear. She reminds him of home, because home is with you and this is where you are. Getting yelled at shoots him into the memories of the time you spent together all those months ago. The stupidly high levels of bliss that, based on the trajectory of his life at the time, he’d assumed was more of a myth than anything. But you had made it real. You had soothed the pain. You were the patch on his wounds; the brightest spot in his life which dimmed the trauma and horrors. 
He’s so lost in those thoughts that he doesn’t immediately notice when his banging fist plummets through the air.
“Si?”
At your voice, Simon’s mind instantly clears. His eyes meet yours.
“Fucking finally,” he mutters, not letting a beat go by before he’s bending at the knees, wrapping his arms around your waist, and lifting you up. Instinctually, your arms snake around his neck, your legs circle his hips, and he feels his cock begin to swell from the reminder of how natural that action is for you. How right it is that you fit together like lock and key. 
Many questions are brewing in your eyes, but you don’t ask them. You kiss him instead, hard and thoroughly as he carries you into your apartment and kicks the door closed behind him. When he sits you atop your kitchen counter and settles himself between your spread legs, his hands go everywhere; under your sleep shirt, up the curves of your body to squeeze your breasts then back down to your hips. His palms slide around to your ass and jerk you closer so the center of those thin little shorts is pressed against the mound protruding from his jeans. 
Buttons scatter across the tile from his impatience, unwilling to delicately undo each tiny closure of your shirt. Your fingers trickle lower on his body to the belt buckle you quickly undo and the zipper you harshly yank down. He’s about to tell you to lift your hips, but you do so without his command, shimmying out of your shorts, and Simon takes the chance to do the same, pushing his pants just below his ass. He springs free, the heavy column of flesh landing at your navel. 
Leaning back, you guide his cock through the slickness of puffy lips into your tight, clenching walls. It sucks the air from his lungs. His head falls to your shoulder as you both try to breathe at a steady pace. His hands brace on the counter on either side of your body, nails digging into the granite. Home.
“Simon…baby, you have to move,” you pant. “I c-can’t take it.”
“I’ve got you,” he whispers in your ear before lifting his head and placing a quick peck on your mouth. Shifting his hips, he pulls out and then slowly eases himself back inside of you. His groan drowns out the sweet song of your moan. “I’ve got you, love.”
“Your neighbor still hates us, jus’ so you know,” Simon says as he slides under the sheets. Were he not so exhausted, he’d chuckle at the idea of being beside you in your bed and not immediately trying to fuck you, but after the kitchen counter, then the couch, then the living room floor, you’re both worn out and in need of a good night's sleep. “Probably more now than she did before.”
Normally, you would have found his words amusing, but you remain silent on your back, staring straight up at the ceiling. Simon raises a brow and flips onto his side. Then he sees the tear slip from the corner of your eye down to your ear. 
“What're you thinkin' about, love?” he asks as he places his hand on your cheek and turns your face toward his. 
“I'm scared,” you tell him. “I've missed you so much, but the second you leave, everything will go back to how it was without you. That broke me the first time, Si. How do I go through it all over again?”
His eyes pinch tight and he sighs in shame. He should have told you. It should have been the first thing out of his mouth, but then he saw you and he needed you and that was all that mattered in the moment. “Baby,” he begins, brushing the hair back from your face. “I'm not leaving you, and we are not goin’ back to that, ok?”
“But Johnny—”
“We don't need to worry about Johnny.”
Your eyes widen. “What? Why not?”
“Because, love,” Simon says, his hand finding the middle of your back and snuggling you into his chest, “Johnny sent me.”
@universitypenguin @ghostslittlegf
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xveenusx · 1 year
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And Yet..
Paring(s): jj maybank x fem!reader
Summary: two people who should be together simply can't find their way. In other words, JJ can't let himself be loved and can't let her go.
Author's note: This one is brutal so prepare yourselves. Realistically, JJ would totally self sabotage any chance of happiness because he can't handle how it makes him feel so that's exactly what this is. Thank you for all the feedback on 3 seconds! If you like when it hurts, then this is for you!
Part 1: Three Seconds
-------------------
He left.
It’d been hours and none of us knew where JJ went, only that he left. While JJ storming off was a normal feat, he always came back.
Now normally, I would have been looking for him, knowing exactly where to look. I’d find him and we’d avoid everyone until he felt like he was ready. This time was different. He never looked at me the way he did today.
A look of pure betrayal.
John B had gone MIA with Sarah while Pope and Kie were handling everything we needed to look for the gold. Me? I was trying to find a way to cope with the sudden JJ sized gap in my life.
It was brutal trying to get through the entire day without collapsing. Everything felt dull. I decided going home and hiding out in my room was the only option. It spared me the looks of concern from our friends and gave me the freedom to cry.
My room felt abnormally empty and cold. My stomach rolled as JJ’s words played in a brutal loop. I crawled into my bed where I curled into myself tightly, hugging my knees to my chest to create some type of pressure.
He’ll come back. He always comes back.
I jolted awake to pounding on my window.
“-wake up. He needs you. It’s bad oh my god it’s really bad.”
Scrambling off the bed, I pushed the curtains aside to see Kie’s panicked face. “Kie, what’s going on?”
Her face filled with relief as she pulled me into her. “We need to get to the chateau now. He’s not making any sense and bought all of this stuff.”
Nausea rolled in my stomach.
“JJ-“
She cuts me off. “He needs you.”
I left the house in seconds, hopped into the Hayward truck and we took off. I nibbled on my nails, glancing at Kiara in the drivers seat. Her face was painted with worry and her leg bopped up and down displaying her nervous energy.
Kie moved one hand from the steering wheel and threaded our hands together, squeezing tightly.
Pulling up to the chateau, I see LED lights tangled up on the trees, shining lights reflecting on the yard. How was there power? The hurricane had taken everything out.
Before I could figure it out, I heard a commotion that drifted up the drive way.
“Where is she? You said Kie was getting her.”
My heart jumped to my throat. I hold onto Kiara tighter as we move toward the raised voices.
Something twisted in my chest as I took in the hot tub and lights suddenly decorating John B’s yard.
JJ is shouting at Pope now, slurring his words slightly, before taking a pull of the champagne he clutched in his hand.
“Look man, she’s here. She’s here, JJ. Calm down.” Pope announced, pointing in our direction, before placing his hands around his head and taking a deep breath.
Awareness ran through me. JJ turned his body to face me, his gaze flicked to mine.
He said nothing yet his eyes said everything. There was an openness that seemed to make him vulnerable.
“You came.”
A tug deep in my chest urged me to move closer. “You asked.”
“Okay, now that she’s here. What did you do, JJ? Where did all this come from?” Pope asked, but we all knew the answer.
“I got a jet going straight in my butt right now. Y’all should get in immediately, ya hear?” JJ laughed, the aviator sunglasses slipping down slightly. His blonde hair slick with water stuck to his forehead as he messily poured champagne into a glass. “Salud!”
Pope let out a noise of disbelief, “How much did this cost?”
“Uh, pretty much all of it.”
I moved around, taking in the inflatable floaties that filled up the yard, while biting the inside of my cheek. He spent all of the money.
“Kie, what? Can’t a man have a little luxury in life?”
I tuned out their arguing. There was a reason he acted out and bought all of this pointless shit but I couldn’t figure out what it was. He knew. He knew he needed to pay for restitution.
A blanket of dread covered my body like an old blanket as the consequences of JJ’s actions finally settled in. Another sense of dread hit when I knew I wouldn’t leave him.
“You could have paid for restitution or better yet, helped us buy supplies.” Pope said, shaking his head in clear frustration.
They weren’t seeing this for what it was. Something was wrong. Yes, he was reckless and rash but like I said before, most of the time he does those things because something happened.
“Okay Pope. Well, I didn’t do that. I got a hot tub for my friends,” JJ choked out, “I got a hot tub for my friends. Screw that, I got a hot tub for my family.”
“JJ, what the hell?” Kie whispered.
Something in her voice made me turn back around quickly and that’s when I saw it.
JJ stood at the center of the hot tub, one hand clutching the champagne bottle while the other hung loosely at his side. His gold necklace moving back and forth shining under the lights, but that’s not what caught my eye.
What caught my eye was the purple and blue bruises that littered his chest and ribs. A high pitched ringing filled my ears as my body felt like it began to float.
This. This was the reason he spent all the money.
My hand covers my mouth as I let out a choked sound.
Hearing the noise, JJ turns to me, his face entirely shattered, tears causing the crystal blue orbs to shine.
“Do you see what I did? Look what I did for you,” He cried out as he held out his arms, staring at me with such vulnerability I could feel my knees start to buckle.
Tears freely began to fall from my face as I took inventory of just how many bruises covered his body.
“No, stop being so emotional. It’s fine, everything’s fine.”
My feet moved on their own accord. Fully dressed, I threw one leg over then the other ignoring the burning from the heat of the water.
He reached for me the moment my body hit the water just as my arms circled around his neck. JJ curled his body into me, the champagne bottle forgotten, his arms circling around my waist digging into my lower back, clutching me like a life line.
My legs knocked together as the adrenaline and helplessness kicked in. I began counting in my head my breaths because I knew in this moment, I couldn’t afford to break down.
Not when he was broken beyond belief.
My fingers threaded themselves into his sun-kissed locks, brushing from the nape of his neck to the top of his head and back again. I pressed my lips onto his head, not letting my grip loosen for one second.
“I love you.” I murmured over and over again as sobs wracked his body, his head in my chest soaking my shirt with his tears. “I got you, it’s okay. I’m here, Jayj.”
I glanced up helplessly and see Pope and Kie staring at us, both of them clearly distraught.
I beckon them over with a nod in my head and instantly JJ and I are covered in warmth. Their arms wrapping around us both, whispering words of love to him.
We stayed like that until our skin got pruny, not wanting to move until he was ready.
When the time did come, I could tell by the way his grip on my waist loosened and his sobs quieted down. Brushing the hair out of his face, I brought my face close to his, “You ready to get out now?”
JJ nodded.
“Kie, can you set out some of John b’s clothes?” I asked her, moving to get out. She nodded and pope followed her inside.
JJ followed closely behind me. His fingers laced with mine, trembling slightly as the night air bit at our soaked bodies.
Shuffling into the chateau, our friends were sprawled out on the couch with Kie strumming away at the ukulele.
“I left the clothes in the spare.” Pope said, his eyes locked on JJ.
I shot him a thankful smile, “Thanks, Pope.”
Once we were in the room, I shut the door as JJ shimmed out of his shorts. Ignoring the heat in my cheeks, I grabbed the towel from the bed and began to dry him.
I could feel his intense gaze on my face the entire time. Biting back a smile, I whispered, “Can I tell you something?”
“Please.”
“I really like the hot tub.”
JJ tilted his head back and let out a surprised laugh. The sound of his familiar laugh caused a wave of warmth to crash over me, causing a zoo of butterflies to swarm my stomach.
“It is a pretty sick tub, isn’t it?” He smiled.
“It is. Very kooky of you.”
He narrowed his red rimmed eyes at me, “Take that back.”
I couldn’t have his my grin even if I tried.
“JJ the kook? I could see that.”
He sends me a cheeky smile in return. Bringing my attention back to the task at hand, I drag the towel along his shoulders before heading towards his chest. My hand stalled slightly as I saw how angry the bruises were, the hue of the purple and blue causing my stomach to churn.
My head moved carefully as I pressed my lips softly along each bruise, fluttering my eyes shut. I feel familiar rough hands tangling themselves in my hair and he lets out a sharp breath.
Opening my eyes, he tilted my head back with his fingers gripped the nape of my neck. A storm brewed in the crystal blue eyes, flicking between every emotion.
His thumb slowly drew my bottom lip down causing his eyes to darken with each passing second,” Thank you.”
Tremors wracked my body at how close we were, our breaths intertwined filtering into my bloodstream.
JJ shifted forward allowing his lips to softly brush mine. The moment my lips parted, he pressed his again almost like he was inhaling my every breath.
Pulling back, he rested his forehead on mine and repeated, “Thank you.”
“I got you. I’ll let you change-“ My words got cut off as he grabbed my arm to stop me in my tracks.
“Stay.”
And so I did.
_______________
I blinked at the alarm clock that read 3 a.m and slowly rubbed the sleepiness from my eyes. I could hear the sound of the skeeters buzzing outside the chateau and felt a strange sense of calm at the quiet.
Reaching toward the other side of the bed , my hands were met with empty cold sheets. He was gone.
I closed my eyes tightly and took in a deep breath as I willed for this nightmare to go away. We still had a lot to work through, but I thought after last night, he finally understood how fucking in deep I was. I was all in, completely and utterly in love with him. It’s always been him.
Pushing my body up, I slowly bring the sheet up to my chest covering my naked body from the cold. A sharp tinge of fear hit my chest as I noticed a presence at the end of the bed that was quickly replaced with an immense sense of relief.
JJ sat on the edge of the bed with his bare back facing me, his elbows on his knees, and head in his hands. A small smile played my lips as I shuffled over, my hands slowly trailing themselves over his shoulders and pressed my lips softly against his shoulder blade.
“Can’t sleep?”
His shoulders tensed the minute my lips touched his body. “I didn’t think you’d still be here.”
Confusion filled every fiber of my being as I finally took him in. I could feel the weak stitches that held my heart together suddenly begin to tear.
I opened my mouth and closed it. The backs of my eyes burned as I stared at the side of his face, the face that I spent hours admiring, that refused to even look at me.
“I thought after last night-“
JJ shook his head in disgust and let out a dry breath, roughly tugging at the messy strands on his head.
“We fucked. It’s not like that’s something we’ve never done before. It doesn’t change anything.”
Like I said before, I understand him. I know him and I know exactly what he’s doing. That doesn’t stop every part of me from feeling like I had just gotten kicked in the chest.
“JJ, please don’t do this.” I inhaled a shaky breath as I clutched the sheer tighter to my chest, almost like it was an armor against his cruel words, words that I knew came from a place of panic. Yet, it hurt just the same.
“Do what,” JJ said, getting up from the bed to face me, arms crossed tightly against his chest. “You made it clear what side you were on and it wasn’t mine.”
“Stop twisting what happened. You forget that I know you, JJ. I know you,” I stood on my shaky feet, the sheets wrapped around my body. “You think I dont know why your treating me this way. You’re dad doesn’t decide who you are.”
Desperation burned in my blood as I once again tried to grasp at straws. He was always finding excuses to run from me and each and every time, JJ took a piece of me with him.
“Shut up. I’m not doing this shit with you.”
“You have no idea how special you are do you? How easy you are to love?” It was an honest question, one that seemed to anger him if the clenching of his fists was any indication.
“Stop-“
I cut him off. “Because you are. Special, I mean.”
JJ said nothing. His gaze met mine, and the blue eyes I thought matched the ocean perfectly, showed a battle of emotions.
I took the opportunity to move closer to him, fighting the urge to curl up and cry at the look of utter confusion on his face.
Luke had successfully beat it into him that he was worthless, useless, and would never amount to anything. This, this look on his face was why I stayed.
He didn’t know. He really didn’t know the effect he had on people, on me.
My fingers trembled slightly as I reached to touch the bracelets that decorated his wrist. All of them being gifts from me.
“You’re fiercely loyal to the people you love. The family that you chose for yourself. It’s almost frustrating how you don’t see it,” I muttered, tilting my head up to search his eyes. “I mean, fuck JJ, you took the fall for Pope because you didn’t want his future to be ruined. You went to jail and now you’re on probation.”
“Please, stop.” His plead was weak at best.
My fingers danced along his jaw, my voice wavering slightly at the tightness in my chest. “You sat with my everyday during summer school so I wouldn’t be myself. No one does that, JJ. Especially not here.”
He had to know I was telling the truth.
“So please, listen to me when I tell you that loving you has been the easy thing I’ve ever done.”
Despite the immense beating my poor heart has taken, it still beats with a naive sense of hope.
Hope that sky rocketed when JJ reached forward to twirl a strand of my hair in between his fingers, almost as though he was memorizing how it felt.
“Such pretty little words.” He hummed. “How many other guys have you told that too?”
I recoiled back in shock.
“Pretty little words won’t get you anywhere. You wanna fuck, I’m down. But that’s not gonna stop me from mackin’ on other chicks.”
Then he dropped the strand of my hair, along with every hope that he could love me.
I chose to then focus on my anger that slowly began to bubble to the surface.
“Like who? Your gonna start mackin’ on Kie?” I launched the question at him, my voice raising an octave in disbelief.
“Maybe. At least she knows when to leave.”
“Stop talking to me like that,” My voice broke at the end, the burning in my eyes getting too hard to ignore. “You’re hurting me.”
All I could do was stare.
Here I stood, heart bleeding, begging a broken boy to love me back. And maybe that wasn’t fair for me to ask, maybe it was too much but a large part of me thought he felt something. Even if it was a fraction of what I felt for him because at least it was something.
Anything.
“You’re never going to let me love you, are you?” I ignored the sharp stab in my stomach as I finally said the question I already knew the answer to.
JJ’s head snapped up in shock at my question. “I never asked for you to love me.”
“You showed up to my window every night because you didn’t want to go home. You hold my hand, you kiss me, you fuck me. You come to me when you can’t fucking sleep. You sleep in my bed. You teach me to surf and take me everywhere with you. You ask for my advice and god forbid I don’t answer the phone, you have a melt down.” I was shouting at that point, my voice loud enough to wake up our friends who were sleeping in the living room but I couldn’t bring myself to care.
“You need me, I’m there. You got arrested, I bail you out. You get in a fight, I clean you up. JJ, you showed up in my life and surrounded me. You’re fucking everywhere. How could you not expect me to fall in love with you when you do these things?”
The laugh I let out was one of a broken girl, one who had completely lost herself in a wave of chaos known as JJ Maybank.
The door was right there. And yet, I couldn't get my feet to move.
“Because I don’t fucking understand it, okay? Because I’ve never had the luxury of someone looking at me the way you do and it makes me physically fucking sick.” JJ took several strides until he was pressed up firmly against me, his fingers threading themselves into the nape of my neck.
“The way you look at me makes me feel like I’m suffocating, don’t you get that? And yet, I can’t fucking thinking straight when you’re not by me.” He choked out, his face was white with panic.
I could feel myself start to crumble at his words. Welcome to the club. “Yesterday, you said I wasn't enough for you.”
JJ nodded, his eyes staring straight into me with such intensity I had to swallow.
“You know why I said it. You know how I get. The way you look at me,” He swears pounding his hand against the wall,” Fuck the way you look at me. You make me feel like I can be a better person, that I have the potential to do something great.”
“Because you can-“
“No I fucking can’t. You give me this hope that I can be better and then something happens to remind me that I can’t and it crushes me. It fucking wrecks me.”
I roughly wiped the tears that blurred my vision and asked, “So what are you saying?”
The silence caused the anticipation of his answer to intensify, making breathing almost impossible.
“Sometimes, being with you is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”
Can you hear that? It’s the sound of my heart shattering for the last time.
“Then you have to let me go.”
He shook his head,”Thats not what I want.”
“Let me go, JJ. If not for you, then for me because loving you is the easiest thing I’ve ever done. You haven’t even been able to say it back. You completely own me, every thought I have is about you.”
“You own ME.” JJ shouted, his hands in his hair tugging it in anger. “And it completely terrifies me and then I say the first thing I can to make the fear go away just so I can get a moment of peace. I don’t want to feel like this anymore.”
In a way, I couldn’t really be angry with him.
No one’s every really described just how dangerous loving someone can be. How they consume every part of you until there’s nothing left. Until suddenly, you can only breathe when you’re around them. When your very mood depends on the expression of their face. The pure feeling of ecstasy that covers your body in a layer of electricity the moment you’re around them and they look at you.
“You love me,” At my words, JJ looked almost relieved, like he finally understood why he felt so many things at once,” but you can’t let yourself love me.”
And yet, despite this revelation, I still couldn’t bring myself to leave.
A tortured look passed his face as he pressed his back against the wall and slowly slid down.
“You need to let me go because I love you to the point that I cant bring myself to leave. So if you don’t want me, if you can’t be with me then do this for me. If you don’t, I’m going to keep giving you every piece of me until there’s nothing left. “
I guess you never truly understand until it happens. Until you get physically ill when they’re upset or filled with warmth when you see them tilt their head back and laugh. When you see them and suddenly the world is just a little less overwhelming, bearable even.
When every fiber of your being is tuned into one person.
Gripping the sheet tighter, I moved in between his legs and settle myself on the floor. The moment I did, JJ engulfed me in his embrace. His presence soaked through my skin leaving the intoxicated feeling in its wake.
“I can’t,” He shook his head fervently, “ I can’t do that.”
I understood him, because I couldn’t either.
“What are we going to do, Jayj?”
JJ pressed his face against my throat, “I don’t know.”
We weren’t okay, it didn’t take a genius to figure it out. Nothing had been solved and yet, we sat on the floor wrapped in each others embrace.
So I said the only thing I knew to be true and give him yet another piece of me, “I love you.”
“I know.”
There we were. Two souls irrevocably intertwined in a mass of love and hate that were broken beyond recognition. Neither of us being able to leave the other.
And yet, all I could focus on was his inability to say he loved me back.
_____________________
Tags for all those who requested: @trickylittlewitch @maybankslover @bcon24 @chaoticbisous @ifilwtmfc @dullsocietyy @mad-die45 @stuffyownswrld @kaylinfayezink @theywantedplayer
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