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ohtobeleah · 4 months

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Was It Over? // Jake Seresin

-> Chapter Seven: [Faucet Failure]

Summary: Jake makes his way back to you after finding out the truth. While under sedation to give your brain some rest, you remember the good times and the bad with your husband.

Warnings: Sick!reader. Breast cancer diagnosis. Jake Seresin x F!reader. Angst, hospital & medical inaccuracies. SLOW BURN ROMANCE/ Inaccurate medical information. Relationship turmoil.

Word Count: 4.6K

Author Note: These chapters keep getting more and more heartbreaking. I can’t even deal. Why did you guys let me do this to y’all?

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

November 22nd

The dim glow of your TV was the only thing in the house that was giving your home any sort of light. The kids had all gone down well, both Lucy and Lennox had swimming practice after school which meant that they were down and out for the count before you even got from their beds back to the door. Sam was easy to get to sleep, he always had been. He was just a naturally sleepy kid.

The gentle knock against your front door startled you, but didn’t shock you. You knew exactly who it was. It was the same guy who'd given you a tissue to dry your tears, the same guy who sat beside you and kept you company during one of your lowest moments. It was the guy that had turned an overly depressing core memory into one that showed a little humanity, sympathy and understanding.

“Happy Birthday!” Jensen cooed as he stood at your door with a plastic bag full of Chinese takeout containers full to the very brim. “I didn't know what you liked so I think I got one of everything.” You stood at the threshold of your home just staring at the man who was on your doorstep, who’d insisted on buying you dinner. When you had informed him of your three children, Jensen said he’d have it delivered.

But he didn't specify who’d be delivering it…..

“I hope you weren't expecting a tip.” You smiled as you let Jensen into your home, the unimaginable amount of scattered children's shoes made it look like you were raising a family of caterpillars, but Jensen didn't mind the mess. He understood, his sister had two little girls around about the same age as Lucy and Lennox.

“But I brought you cheesecake as well?” Jensen smiled back at you in the darkness of the dimly lit hallway. “Can’t have a birthday without cake.”

“I don't even remember the last time someone brought me any form of cake.” You sighed as you politely took the cheesecake in its cake box. Jensen frowned in response as he watched you hit the light switch in the hallway that led to the kitchen.

“Didn't your husband ever buy you a birthday cake?” He called out as he followed you deeper into your humble abode. It was a simple question that carried far too much weight than you were ready to truly unpack. You'd told Jensen in one of your many conversations since you first met about how you and Jake were separated due to circumstances that weren’t fair to either one of you. Jensen never pressed for more information than you were willing to give.

“He used to.” You shrugged. “I can't remember the year he stopped, hell–I can't really even pinpoint when he stopped caring but eventually he did and soon enough my birthday just became another day.” It was hard to admit, but Jensen made opening up about your marital struggles easy, you never really confided in anyone about any of it. He had a non-biased opinion. “But I loved Jake, I still do, at the time I guess I didn't care that I was getting a fraction of what I deserved because a fraction of him was better than nothing at all.” The tears were there, they were ready to spill over your lower last line. But you never let them fall as Jensen sat down at your kitchen bench and opened up the bag of chinese food. “But it all got too much– or too little, I suppose.”

“Have you told him about the cancer yet?” Jensen asked softly, he wasn't pressing, he was just asking.

“I still dont think I’m going to–he probably wouldn't care, I mean he forgot my birthday.” Again you shrugged it off like it was no big deal. “I highly doubt he’d care about some cancer diagnosis.”

“Are you sure he wouldn't care? Or have you just convinced yourself he wouldn't because it hurts less to believe he doesn't care than it does to believe he does?” When you answered Jensen's heart sank. He saw the tears in your eyes, the look of heartbreak that reflected from your very soul. The longingness in your expression. He saw right through the wall you tried so hard to protect yourself with. He saw it all. Which is why when your voice cracked and your support beams held together by caffeine and your need to keep a normal routine for your children in place, faltered, Jensen sighed.

“It didn't take much convincing–”

“Y/n–”

“How was Chemo today?” You tried your best to change the subject as you grabbed some cutlery. The chair beside Jensen at your kitchen counter looked awfully comfortable.

“Consider my follicles fried.” Jensen chuckled as you handed him a spoon. “Now don't change the subject, we’re talking about you and this husband of yours, who, I'm convinced, is a few screws short of a hardware store.”

“Oh yeah? Why's that?” You weren't sure if you wanted to know, but what you did know was that Jake wasn’t here. He’d sent you a message earlier in the day but you were yet to respond. You felt that if you replied it would open a floodgate of vulnerability. But soon enough Jensens words had you in a freefall of wondering if it was truly over between you and Jake–

“Because I don't think anyone who's lucky enough to love you would ever put themselves in a position to lose you.”

Or not.

***~***~***~**~***~

“Look left for me?” Doctor Ignatii spoke as he shined his little pen light in your eyes. “And right?” You did as you were told although you just wanted to be left alone. “Count to five for me?” You almost rolled your eyes as Doctor Ignatii stepped away and walked closer to your feet.

“One, two, three, four, five.” You slowly counted. “Do I get a gold star?” Doctor Ignatii didn’t take your foul attitude to heart, he dealt with people like you every day—over the years you tend to develop pretty thick skin.

“Possibly, if you can wiggle your toes and touch your nose?” He asked through a smile as he began to feel your feet. “Wiggle please Mrs Seresin.”

“This better not be my audition tape for the Madden Brothers Circus.” You didn’t mean to take your hostility out on the doctor who had saved your life, but there was a small part of you that wished he would have just let the blood clot do its damage. You did what you were told once more and wiggled your toes and touched your nose. “Look at me go.”

“Well—“ Doctor Ignatii chuckled to himself as he filled out your charts on his iPad. “You don’t seem to be showing any immediate deficits post surgery, I’d like to give your brain a chance to rest for another ten to twelve hours before we get you out of bed for a little bit of a walk.” You listened to what your doctor was saying as your mother came back into the room, you didn’t know it but Jake had just landed and was heading right over.

“Does that mean I get more of these awesome drugs?” You asked playfully, your mother even swore you were flirting. Doctor Ignatii was very handsome with brown hair and dark skin. He smiled at your forwardness but nodded in response. He was also used to this.

“We’ll give you another sedative to make sure you're able to rest, you’ll probably feel like you got hit by a bus when you wake up but it’ll give us a clearer indication if you’ll face any deficits going forward.”

“You reckon breast cancer’s a deficit?” You couldn't stop thinking about the dream you had about Jake. it felt so real, like your own personal rolodex of memories was trying its best to show you the good times. For whatever reason that may be you had no idea, but, you really had to ground yourself in your own reality. Jake wasn't the Jake from your memories anymore, although you desperately wished he was. He was now the Jake who couldn't remember your birthday or to fill your Christmas stocking on Christmas. He was the guy who let you peel your own oranges after he’d done it for so many years.

He was the guy who had fallen out of love with you.

“I do, but your double mastectomy has been rescheduled for Christmas Eve. So what better way to wake up on Christmas morning knowing your chance of kicking cancer's ass just went up by thirty five percent?” It was your turn to smile at Doctor Ignatii as he ended the conversation about your cancer at that. “I’ll send in a nurse to admit the sedative, mum? She’ll be out for a minimum of ten hours while on the IV, you should take the time to get some rest too.”

“Sure thing Doc.” Your mother answered as she watched him walk away. “Were you flirting with that man?”

“No harm, he’s seen the inside of my brain, can’t get more intimate then that can you?” You were probably putting on a braver face then you felt but your mother could tell you were nervous about the sedative..

“I’ll stay with you for the entire time you're sleeping.” She cooed as she pushed your hair behind your hair. She noticed how stands fell almost with the gust of her fingertip. The chemo was killing your hair follicles. “You won’t be alone.”

“Thanks.” Was all you said as Lydia came into your room ready to set your IV drop up. “I hope you’ve done this before, kid.”

“Absolutely Mrs Seresin.” Lydia chuckled, she felt a lot better after a full eight hours of sleep. “I’ll just get this sorted and you’ll be good to go.” As Lydia set up your IV, you had just rough energy to send one message to a dear friend you thought should know about your current state. Your mother watched as you typed out a really quick message with one hand.

You: “Had a stroke, in hospital, surgery rescheduled.”

“Promise you’ll stay?” You asked your mum one more time as you saw her reading a text. A text from your ex husband telling her he was about twenty minutes away and running off the five hours of sleep he got before his world got flipped on its head.

“You’re not going be alone sweetheart.” Your mother answered rather cryptically. As your eyelids grew heavier and heavier. “You’re not gonna be alone.”

***~***~***~**~***~

“I'm here.” Jake had taken the next flight back to Rhode Island that he could, he didn't have time to waste when it came to getting back to you. He was tired, emotionally exhausted from everything he had learnt of your condition and dishevelled beyond belief. He was sure someone threw a dollar down at him while he was sitting on the floor at the airport next to a charging port. He looked so distressed and dishevelled that someone thought he was homeless.

He kept that dollar though.

“Okay, ask the main reception to point you in the direction of oncology and we’re in room 306.” Your mother replied over the phone, Jake had called her about fifteen minutes after you had been administered your sedative.

Jake felt his heart in the back of his throat as he took the elevator up to the level the lady at the reception desk in the main lobby of the Rhode Island hospital had told him to go to. Oncology equals cancer, you had cancer, breast cancer, you had a stroke, strokes can kill you, cancer can kill you.

Jake had thought about nothing else since he got on his flight, the idea that you were sick, that you were so sick you couldn't even tell him broke his heart more than you leaving him ever could. There was once a time where Jake thought you could tell him anything, that you were able to come to him with any problem you had or were facing.

He couldn't pinpoint exactly when you stopped telling him things, or more importantly when he’d stopped listening. Jake couldn't help but to blame himself for feeling like he’d somewhat put you into this situation where you felt like you couldn't rely on him to step up when you needed him to. You were sick and you needed support, he was supposed to be that support, but instead you kept him in the dark like he didn't deserve to know you were ill.

Maybe he didn't deserve to know, but either way Jake was walking towards room 306 where your mother had told him to go. He brought his duffel with him, Jake made no plans to leave your bedside for the duration of your stay. However long that may be, he was gonna be by your side.

And the second he got to the threshold of your hospital room, Jake Seresin forgot what it was like to be able to breathe on his own accord.

“Oh Honey.” He cooed as his bottom lip quivered, your Mother tried her best to remain a strong presence but at the sight of Jake crumbling under the weight of the idea he’d lose you twice over made her eyes water. “Oh my sweet girl.”

***~***~***~**~***~

“Jake!” You shouted out throughout the house as Lucy and Lenny watched over baby Sam as they ate lunch in the living room.“Jake!”

“What?” Jake called back to you from the back deck where he was busy doing absolutely nothing but enjoying a beer with his feet up and his sunglasses on. He just needed twenty minutes. Sam had been a handful today and ever since Jake got home he’d wanted nothing more than to use his body as a jungle gym.

“The faucet in the ensuite won’t stop leaking, can you please tighten it before you get too comfortable.” You asked as politely as you could with a soft smile.

“Sure, yeah I’ll put it on the list.” Jake shrugged your request off like it was nothing but another chore you were commanding him to do. When Jake didn’t budge, you crossed your arms over your chest and pressed the issue further.

“It’s just that I’m trying to work on my new book and I can’t concentrate with the dripping.” You were in the middle of your latest project. A new book proposal your editors were waiting on.

“I said I’d get to it Hon, just—why don’t you try writing somewhere else besides your desk? Or better yet, shut the ensuite door?” Jake couldn’t see the rage burning in your eyes when he told you to basically deal with it until he could be arsed to get up.

“Jake please?” You begged, it wasn’t the first time you’d asked Jake to fix the leaky faucet but it would be the last. It was one the few final straws that broke your back before you decided enough was enough and you couldn’t stay in your marriage any longer. “I need you to do this one thing for me so I can work in peace.”

“If it’s so important that it needs to be fixed right this second Hon just fix it yourself?” Jake argued back as he took a sip of his beer, it had been a long week for him and he needed a moment to relax. “You know how to fix a leak.”

“I already tried!” You shouted back loud enough to finally have Jake taking his glasses off to look at you properly. “I’m trying to work, I’ve had the kids all week and I need to get these last few chapters done before next Friday and you go back to work on Monday.” You saw the look Jake gave you, one of annoyance and frustration, like you were some kind of parasite trying to ruin his day off to relax and enjoy some rest and rejuvenation before Monday rolled around again.

“Honey if you let me sit here for twenty minutes I will fix the fucking leak for you.” He tried to hide his disdain but you could read it through the lines on his face. “I’m not sure why you can’t just write somewhere where you can’t fucking hear it but I’ll fix it the minute I’m done drinking my beer.”

“Alright.” You pressed your lips together and tried not to let your anger boil over. “Alright I can live with that.”

“Hallelujah, she can live with compromise.” Jake sassed as he took another sip of his beer. You chose not to respond as you headed back inside the home you both shared with a feeling of under appreciated value looming over your head. What did Jake mean by compromise? You did so much and more for him, why was it such an issue that you’d asked him to fix a faucet.

He never did get around to fixing it like he said he would. Twenty minutes turned to two hours, which turned to two days, months and eventually It was only when the both of you decided to sell the property when you said you were leaving, that he noticed the leak was never fixed.

You never did finish that draft, the book that remained unpublished and half finished. You kept the google doc on your laptop and sometimes you thought about picking the project back up. But you never did, you never had time to, not while you were on the cusp of divorce and raising three children all on your own.

“I uh—I fixed the faucet.” Jake sheepishly told you as he made his way into the kitchen to see you packing plates and bowls and cutlery into moving boxes.

“The faucet I asked you to fix back in October?” You replied harshly while trying not to look at the man who forgot where you should have been on his priority list. “Glad I compromised on that one for this long.” You hissed, it had only been four days since you told Jake you were leaving, that you were moving back into your mothers place with the kids until you found somewhere to live.

“Honey—“

“Please don’t call me that.” You asked rather simply as Jake's heart broke before you. He was losing his wife, his kids and didn’t know how to fix what he’d unintentionally broken.

“Don’t go, we can fix this, I don’t want you to go.”

“Well unfortunately this isn’t about you Jake.” You tried to keep your voice down so that you wouldn’t alert the kids to your argument. If there was one thing you weren’t going to do it was fight in front of your children and subject them to that environment. “Tell me, it’s January right now isn’t it?”

“Yeah?” Jake wasn’t sure what you were getting at as he watched you pack the boxes of things you were taking with you.

“When’s my birthday?” You asked like he should have known that answer off the top of his head, because he should have and he did.

“Novem—oh fuck Y/n no hold on a minute.” Jake couldn’t find the words he wanted to say at that moment, how could he forget your birthday? He missed it entirely and you said not a single thing about it.

“My stocking was the only one empty at Christmas, not a single present under the tree was mine, you know why that is? It’s because for four years I’ve brought my own damn presents and gotten my own fucking birthdays cake, you don’t give a shit about fixing a goddamn fosset so I can focus on work let alone the little things.” You hissed before you tried to calm yourself down and get back to packing. Jake just stood there speechless looking like he hadn’t slept a wink in days. He hadn’t, not since you told him you were done and that you needed a break.

“I can fix this, please.” Jake was begging you to stay, he didn’t want to lose the one person who meant more to him than life itself. “Just don’t leave me.”

“There isn’t enough room for me in your life Jake, and instead of being selfish and trying to change you I’d rather let you go to be yourself. People change.” You shrugged. Staying now would have killed you, Jake felt you slipping through his fingers in real time as he watched you wrap up the mugs you were taking in old newspaper. “I sure never thought the man I married would change into someone I don’t even know.”

***~***~***~**~***~

Jake was at a loss for words when he stepped into your hospital room. The Christmas lights that shimmered around the room were a stark contrast to the plethora of machines that were scattered around your bedside.

“I thought since she’s sleeping the blinds should be shut.” Jake could just barely make out what your mother had told him as she rose to greet him with open arms. He couldn’t peel his eyes off you for even a second as the woman who had become his second mother took him in a warm loving embrace. “She’ll be out for a while sweetheart, they gave her a sedative to help her brain rest.”

“How long?” Jake asked as he held your mother tight.

“About ten—maybe twelve hours, she only just started the drip.”

“Oh—okay, yeah no that.” Jake tried to hold himself together but the damn was breaking. “That’s probably for the b-bet—oh god.” Jake Seresin had never felt his entire body crumbled into someone the way he felt his body crumble into your mothers arms.

“Oh my boy it’s alright, she’s alive, she’s gonna be okay.” Your mother tried her best to soothe Jake's cries but she knew it was coming from a place of love and undeniable sadness. “Here, sit down, I’ll go get you a coffee and something to eat.”

Jake took a seat next to your bedside and immediately reached out for your hand. He knew you were under and wouldn’t know he was there but he still brought your palm up to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss to your hand.

“Oh Honey I’m so sorry this is happening to you.” He sobbed quietly as your mother stood behind him. “I’m so sorry I didn’t know.”

“She hasn’t told anyone but me Jake, not her friends or her brother.” It was hard to process the sight before him, the love of Jake's life surrounded by machines, hooked by cords and wires and monitors that told him although your eyes were closed you were in fact, alive. “I don’t think she wanted you to know because she’s just so scared despite how she might put on a brave face.”

“Or she thought I wouldn’t care.” Jake mumbled as he reached out to make sure your hair was resting behind your ear, part of your head had been shaved from surgery, but Jake never expected the hair he tried to move back behind your ear to fall out at his touch. “Oh my god—“

“She’s been on oral chemotherapy since her biopsy came back cancerous, she needed you to take the kids so she could start more aggressive IV chemo.”

“Her hair’s already falling out?” Jake had never felt this way before, so rendered powerless. He’d taken a life before and saved many, but watching you right now was the most powerless he’d ever felt. Jake caught the sight of your phone flashing with a new message with a name he didn't recognise. There was no time to ask you about the message he saw, but jake knew maybe, just maybe, you had lied when you told him there was no other guy.

Jensen: “Oh shit, I'll swing by once I'm out of the woods.”

“Aggressive cancer needs aggressive treatment sweetheart.” Your mother leaned in to kiss the top of Jake's head. “I’ll be back, coffee and a sandwich will do you good.”

“Thanks Maz.” Jake sighed as he kept your hand up near his mouth as he leaned his elbows on the side of your bed. “Oh Honey, Honey, Honey—what have we become?”

***~***~***~***~***~***

Your honeymoon was the most beautiful trip you’d ever gone on. Jake Seresin was very much a summer man. He loved when the sun was shining and the water was cool and the beers were as refreshing as they ever could be.

The resort in Bali that the two of you were staying at for the entire two weeks was nothing but picturesque with stunningly gorgeous gardens and extraordinary architecture. The pool you were sitting on the edge of was just one of the many pools that you and Jake had yet to visit. He stood on the ledge of the rock waterfall and smiled ear to ear.

“I’m not resuscitating you when you slip and hit your head!” You called out through a beaming smile.

“Reckon I could clear a backflip?” Jake asked childishly as he climbed to the very top. His abs looked far too perfect to be real as he stood tall and flexed just for you, his wife.

“Jake Seresin, don't you dare!” You warned as you looked over your sunglasses at your childish husband. He was everything any more, how you got so lucky you'd never understand. The two of you had decided on a small elopement style wedding that saw only a handful of your closest family members in attendance. The both of you saw no need for over the top extremities and thoughts of dollars spent on a single night. You thought why not use the money on a holiday getaway, your dream honeymoon. After Rodney had gone on his happiness never ends tangent, Jake wished the two of you had just gone down to town hall.

“Live a little Mrs Seresin!” Jake shouted as he took the leap of faith and backflipped off the very top of the man made rock waterfall that cascaded down into the crystal clear pool. The two of you were the only guests in sight which you were so thankful for when Jake came belly flopping down into the water with a crisp slap.

“Oh!” You cringed hard as your husband hit the water. “That's gotta hurt the ego buddy.” You giggled as you watched Jake swim under the water closer to the edge where you sat just relaxing in the smallest bikini known to mankind. “Jake?” You asked as he crept closer and closer under the water. Your eyes never left his swimming silhouette until he was jumping up right in front of you to rest his elbows on the edge of the pool right in front of you.

“My execution was a little off.” He grinned as you leaned in to give him a kiss. Unbeknownst to you though as your lips pressed against your husbands, his hands snakes around your waist to quickly drag you into the water where Jake needed you to be. With him, forever.

“JAKE!” You shouted as you fell into the pool. Jake couldn't contain his laughter. Thank god he remembered you knew how to swim.

“Yes Honey?” He cooed as you resurfaced with a gasp.

“You’re a child!”

��Uh no–I'm not.” Jake made sure to correct you as he pulled you closer under the water. His hand explored your ass as he wrapped your legs around his waist and held you up against him. You could feel his hard on pressing against your core, it wouldn't take much at all for him to slip out of his trunks and into you if he wanted to.

“But if you want I can show you how they're made?”

***~***~***~***~***~***~

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plutonianeris · 1 year

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a message from 13 year old you ‧₊˚✩彡 [letter] 💓🍬

this is a general reading. take what resonates and leave what doesn't. scroll through the images & choose based on your inner guidance and gut feeling. ⛓️ *･῾ ᵎ⌇ ⁺◦ if you feel guided to: tip jar💘 ✧.*

Pile one ‧₊˚✩彡

"what did I tell you? I always knew it would work out in the end. I was always knew the pain wasn't going to last forever. It hurt to be treated that way by the people closest to me, especially the women in my life. there was always so much confusion growing up. people would say pretty things but there body language would show something else. I felt caged in my connections. But I always had some faith. I always had a feeling that the universe was watching out for me... for us. that it was sending us signs. that eventually I would be able to enjoy life to the fullest without feeling guilty for it. without feeling like I had to compare myself to the versions of me that they wanted me to be. I hope you know now that those versions don't exist. that we weren't born to be dolls for other people to dress up and control and shove words and opinions in their mouth and to gargle and spit back up. I doubted my intellgience so much.. underestimated my creativity. but looking at you now.. looking at us... I feel so proud. dont forget about me please! I always believed in you. even on those days where you couldnt stand to look in the mirror. I was on your side this whole time, its just that sometimes you werent listening. But now looking at you, you are everything I ever wanted to be. Im so glad I didnt give up. You deserve it all. the world. your dreams. im rooting for you. heres to more blessings and abundance."

Pile two ‧₊˚✩彡

"remember the way everyone would make fun of us for the weird things we did? Our odd expressions and the questions we asked and how we laughed out loud and our desire to see the world. how it always labeled as silly. I know it had made us dull our self expression for a little while. How we forced ourselves to shrink down, to fake laugh to the mean comments, or "oh this? not a big deal" or "its not that good.." so many of those... just to blend in better with our friends and family at the time. to make them like us. to see if that would make them stop criticizing so damn much. I hope we no longer are letting comments like that slide. I hope we dress like the way we always wanted to in our head but were to afraid to wear out. I hope we didn't let the world extinguish our playful nature. life felt like heartbreak after another. what do you know about love? youre just a kid. they deformed the way we saw it for a long time. but not anymore. It makes me emotional.. the way you never let go my hand. and how you always carried me along with you in your heart. Of course, now you call me your inner child. Or I guess inner teen. Ha, inner tween. Thank you for always being my friend. I see now that you are always what I was meant to be. Out of all the stars in the sky, we shine the brightest, you and me."

Pile three ‧₊˚✩彡

"you are so beautiful... wow we really are so different now. But I still see hints of me in you. in your smirk and your mischievous laugh and in your questioning glances and sharp stare when someone gets a little bit too close to our personal space. I admire the way your presence can make someone nervously glance away. I use to feel so powerless.. so many things I did to try to gain some control, even if it meant hurting myself and pushing away the people I love. I love how vulnerable you are. I really did see it as a weakness but looking at you now, it makes me realize how brave you are. of putting yourself out there despite the uncertainty. of taking that chance even if could end up badly. even if you could end up with a broken heart it seems like you no longer find sastification in staying in the darkness. I understand, its.. well, lonely... being alone. Do you think you could take me with you? That part of you... that is still afraid. do you think you could tell me? tell me that I am not broken or incomplete that there is nothing wrong with me. that I am not the worst thing that has ever happened to me or will happen to me. Reassure me? Tell me that some things we have to do even when we are afraid. that its terrifying and nerve wracking and makes our palms sweat. but then once we do it, it's glorious, it's liberating, it's everything we have ever dreamed of and more. I see it now. Take me with you. Do you see me? I see you. The way you look at the world and want to devour it. I see you now, with a crown atop your head. how you wear it so gracefully..."

Pile four ‧₊˚✩彡

"So many times.... I was so close to giving up. to listening to that little voice in my head that kept telling me over and over again that there was no point. that the feeling and the ache in my chest would last forever. that it was always going to be me versus the world. me versus me. that everything around me would always be dull and gray and that I would always be blue. I doubted my self-worth so much. It was practically non-existent. I still do in some ways now when I pop up and invalidate the way you feel, shrugging my shoulders wondering if maybe we are actually deserving of this happiness... of this success. it feels foreign. like its not really mine.. well, ours. We're not in a really good situation right now and my parents are trying to hide things from me that im just too big now to pretend not to notice. they don't make me feel that protected anymore. and that hurts me a lot. whose gonna take care of me now? Im so glad youre here now. Im so glad we got to grow up and that we survived. and im so glad that now that we survive we can actually live. Thank you for reminding that we can let go now. that theres no room for a pity party anymore. thank you for letting me know that your'e not going to leave me behind. thank you for keeping my memory alive. thank you for looking back at me with kind and loving eyes. but most of all, thank you for fighting for me. I know I can easily lie and say "everything is fine" but thank you for showing me that it eventually it is. thank you proving to me that eventually I will say its fine. its okay. its great even. and that I, that we, actually mean it."

#pac #pick a deck #pick a photo #pick a picture #pick a pile #astro tarot #astrology #intuitive reading #pick a pile reading #pick an image reading #self growth #self help tarot #daily tarot #tarot #plutonianeris #pick a card reading #pick a deck reading

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effervescentdragon · 6 months

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i dont know how to deal with this pain in my chest that's a constant. i dont't know how to take this much hurt.

i was a child of war, i type out and then i say to myself no, i am a child of war. its a funny story i tell people, how when i was to be born they bombarded our city the whole night. the gas that my dad spared so they could take my mother to the hospital was stolen, siphoned from the car, so what happened was that my mother's water broke in the back of a military vehicle that my dad's friends-colleagues-soldiers drove us all in to the hospital. i was born almost 12 hours later during a night when they bombarded my hometown from every mountain around it. it doesnt really matter; they bombarded us all the time.

my mother is a doctor. she worked in the hospital the whole time during the war and she worked relentlessly. she tells the stories of that time with a detachment that used to be curious to me when i was younger and is now just horrifying. "mom," i said to her years ago, "im learning about porphyrias." - "oh," she says, eyes lighting up, "the first time i encountered a case of porphyria was during the war, when we were shut in the hospital for 5 days because they kept bombarding us and we couldnt go home. one of the doctors not on call when we got stuck came with his daughter, drove to the hospital because his daughter was unconscious and we determined she had porphyria. it was really interesting to see." she doesn't see my horrified gaze. she doesn't know what she sounds like. she still doesn't, to this day. i stopped begging her to go to therapy one day when she looked at me, eyes far away, and said "if i go, where do i start?"

my friend was 5 when the war started. she asked me on saturday "are you always afraid of everything?". i shake my head. she said she wakes up sometimes gripped with fear and has to list out all the things in her life that are alright and asks her husband to hug her and still it doesnt help. she thought she was the only one to feel that way and then she tells me a new phrase she learned. generational trauma. i nod and remember her telling me how a grenade hit their building when she was 8, in the year i was born, and how she still has the burn scar on her leg from the shell.

my high school teacher told me a story once. it was war and she was 15, and it was a friday and they stopped bombarding for three days. the youth gathered at the main square on the date that used to be a celebration of youth. her friend had strict parents, "but whose parents arent strict in a war," she says with a laugh, and they all decided to walk her home before her curfew. a bomb hit the square, civillian target, and killed over 70 people. the youngest was 2. he died because a shrapnel pierced his heart as his mother was clutching him. she didn't notice until it was too late. i know her and her husband. i see them around the town sometimes. my mother worked in the hospital that day, when they brought in the wounded. my father brought them in. "thats what i always remember when my kids say im too strict," my teacher says and laughs. i laugh along. what else am i supposed to do.

the year my sister was born another genocide happened. the world looked away then too, like it does now. when the war in ukraine started my gynecologist tells me about it; about a woman who came in and said "i have 5 children." my gynecologist said "what do you mean five," lookimg at the four surrounding her. the women said "i had to leave my wounded son behind. it was the best chance these other four had to survive, if im with them". she has a placid smile on her face as i look at her in horror. "i learned not to ask stupid questions then," she says, and laughs, and i laugh along because what the fuck am i supposed to do.

i dont know how to take this pain of palestine right now and still i look. i look at the victims, thousands of innocent children and people murdered by israel's carpet bombing. i look at the ethnic cleansing happening in front of my eyes, all our eyes. i look at the world which refuses to call it what it is - an ongoing genocide of a whole population. i dont have the privilege of looking away. i opened my eyes into a war when i took my first breath, and i cannot in good conscience look away. war is in my blood; i am a child of war.

there is no point to this except to say somewhere what hurts me the most right now.

from the river to the sea, palestine will be free. it has to be. anything else is unnaceptable.

#its about palestine but i dont want to put it in the main tag because this is just my grief right now #cw war #and everything it entails #personal #effervescentdragonrants

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help-i-need-a-cool-username · 10 months

Text

Random meet the batfamily reveal situations i dont see enough of so have some examples/prompts

The JL: Batman is truly terrifying. No one has the guts to lie to his face

The JL: *video calling the batcave*

FEW MINUTES LATER

Spoiler: *walks across the room and is seen as she passes behind Batman*

The JL: wait! Its you!

Batman: Spoiler, why and when did you have contact with the Justice League?

Spolier, no hesitation: i have never met these people in my life

The JL: WHAT? What are you talking about?!? We saw you two days ago

Spoiler: wasn't me. I don't know what to tell you, you must've saw someone else

------------------------------------

Batman: *turns on his camera for the JL zoom call*

THE BATCAVE IS COVERED IN GLITTER

The JL: uh, Batman?

Batman: *steamrolls right into the meeting material so he doesnt have to talk about falling for a prank*

-------------------------------------

THE WATCHTOWER CELLS, WHICH HOLD THE MAJORITY OF THE BATKIDS

Batman: what happened?

The JL: well this group broke into the Watchtower and put Green Arrow and Green Lantern in the infirmary! They refuse to tell us who they work for or how they got past security-

Batman: *trying not to laugh because he is pissed that they broke into the Watchtower and possibly compromised them all but the image of Lantern and Arrow sitting next to each other in matching bandages like cartoon characters is hilarious*

Batman: i can answer one of those questions. This group typically works with me. They are supposed to be stationed in Gotham right now.

The JL: WHAT

Batman: Nightwing, what could not be accomplished at the cave that this many of you needed to come here?

Nightwing: well, uh, you see...

Batman: Robin, why are you all here?

Robin: there was a... incident in Agent A's kitchen. It is no longer usable. We are here seeking asylum from his wrath.

Batman: *facepalms*

The JL: *gasps at the facepalm*

Batman: one of you blew up the microwave again, didn't you?

Robin: i will neither confirm or deny that claim.

-------------------------------------

THE JL STAND SURROUNDED BY DEBRIS. A EXPLOSION GOES OFF IN THE BACKGROUND.

Batman: *dealing out his children's punishment*

The JL: damn he's really giving it to them

Orphan: *hugs Batman's arm and gives him puppy eyes*

Batman: *speech falters but he keeps going*

Nightwing: *comes up behind Orphan and rests his chin on her head, also giving puppy eyes*

Batman: *speech begins to taper off*

Signal: *starts faking a leg injury and claims to be exhausted*

The JL: no, he's not gonna FOLD is he?

Robin: *refuses to stoop so low as to use these tactics but is adorably sulking behind them*

Batman: *folds like a house of cards and the kids get off mostly free AND with hugs*

The JL: *are flabbergasted*

-------------------------------------

JL SCREEN IS COMPROMISED DURING A MEETING AND IS NOW DISPLAYING A VIDEO CALL

The JL: how did you hack our security?! It's the best in the world

Red Robin, clearly exhausted: i built your security you fu-

Batman: Red Robin. What can we do for you.

Red Robin: answer your damn phone when i call you.

The JL whispering: who does this guy think he is?

Red Robin: we're out of coffee. I need you to swing by the store on your way back or just steal some before you leave.

The JL: you interrupted our very important meeting because you want Batman to go grocery shopping for you!

Batman and Red Robin: no coffee is a emergency.

Red Robin: *cracks open a five hour energy*

Batman: please don't-

Red Robin, making direct eye contact: *pours five hour energy into a can of monster*

Red Robin: desperate times call for desperate measures, B

------------------------------------

Nightwing: it's freezing out here.

Nightwing: *pushes Superman aside so he can wrap Batman's cape around him*

The JL: uhh

Batman: i told you to bring a jacket.

Nightwing: jackets limit my mobility. And last time i brought one it got slashed to pieces and i had to buy a new one. I cant do that every time it gets cold!

Batman: *sighs*

The JL: did Batman just sigh in defeat??!!?!!!??

------------------------------------

Oracle, interrupting a meeting: Batman. It's been four hours.

Batman: i am aware. Thank you Oracle.

Oracle: you need to eat, B.

Batman: i am fine.

Oracle: then you shouldn't have a problem eating. I know there are snacks in your belt.

The JL: is Batman getting bullied by his own AI?

Oracle: i am not a AI. And i will hold up this meeting until you eat.

Batman: *grumpily pulls out a granola bar and starts eating*

------------------------------------

Red Hood: *marches right through the Watchtower and up to Batman*

Red Hood: you did not tell Robin to "just watch" Pride and Prejudice!

Batman, calmly turning in his chair: i did, yes.

Red Hood: i can't look at you right now. I don't know if i can ever look at you again.

Batman: the one i recommended is praised for it's faithful adaptation-

Red Hood: it's not the same! There is no substitute for reading a Jane Austin work!

Red Hood: next you'll tell me you've never read it

Batman: *silence*

Red Hood: YOU'VE NEVER READ JANE AUSTIN?!

Red Hood: get your stuff, we're leaving.

The JL: where are you going?

Red Hood: to a bookstore!

Red Hood: i'm coming over for lunch tomorrow and you better be at least one chapter in. You hear me, B?

Batman: Hn

#hinacu dc #batfam #justice league #justice league find out about the batfam #batman #bruce wayne #batkids #dc prompt

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kairiscorner · 8 months

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hihiii pookie :DD!!

tw// mentions of depression

i'm wondering if you could maybe write a comfort fic about miles 42 with a reader who hates asking for help even when theyre clearly suffering in silence because they were taught to just 'suck it up' and deal with it alone as a kid?

you dont have to write this if you dont feel comfortable with it <33

Thank you pooks :33!!

hi pooks @jrrantss <:DD oh man, okay so i was kind of that kid back then too (though i was a big crybaby) it's like the adults around me didn't fully comprehend why i was feeling the way i was, so in response to that, they basically condemned crying at home or in front of them. i'm sorry if you went through something similar or, hopefully not, something worse ;-; i hope this provides you some comfort, and in a way, might also let you know you aren't the only one going through stuff like this. i'm here for you pookie, all the time <:)

(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)

you can be honest with me. – miles 42 x reader (angst + comfort)

nothing went your way this week, hell, you couldn't even remember a week in your life when anything felt right, when you didn't feel that you were holding yourself back from letting go of everything that felt wrong, awful, and just... painful. you were too good at keeping secrets, too good at lying about how you really felt; and that was something you hated about yourself, how you found lying as your first nature, not your second. you lied to people when they'd ask you if you were doing okay, if your day was going alright–you always gave them the answers they want to hear, that you were fine, that nothing was wrong.

but when everything just comes crumbling down, and the cracks in your facade begin to show and become more obvious... you get more and more defensive, more and more angry, more and more... scared and worried about these feelings that are hurling themselves at you so quickly that you can't even begin to understand why they're affecting you so badly–why people can see the bare you now if you just turn your face to look at them or open your mouth to speak; and your boyfriend was the first person to see you this way, vulnerable, yet trying all you can to avoid that vulnerability while you're crumbling down.

"hey," miles calls out to you in a soft voice as he sees your back turned to him as you kept working on your assignments, hunched over at your desk with your brows furrowed together and your lips curved into a scowl. you had been avoiding him for a few days now–at least he thinks you might be avoiding him–and have acted very distant, very... out of it recently. you didn't turn your head around to face him, which prompted him to continue talking, hopefully so you could find a reason to face him and his worried eyes. "you've, um... you've been busy lately." "uh-huh." you hummed as you tapped the end of your pencil against your desk impatiently, racking your brain for the answer to the questions written down that all seemed to blur together as the shittiness of the previous days just irritated you even more, and the worst part was... you couldn't hide the fact you can't mask ot anymore.

miles' face contorted as he got more and more worried about you, not knowing why you were acting starkly different than the usual you, or the only you he was familiar with. he extended his hand out to you as he walked over, looking at your cluttered up papers on your desk and the smudged up marks on the paper from your erasures. "...is something wr–" "everything's fine, i'm fine, i'm just peachy!" "you don't sound very convincing." he said, his voice returning to his nonchalant, cool tone as he took a small glimpse at your face before you turned away from his field of vision.

he sat in the chair next to you and wrapped his arm around you in an effort to comfort you. "cielo, sonething's up with you. are you... are you sure you don't wanna let me help?" he asked you with a soft voice, hoping he didn't overstep any boundaries as you slowly turned your head to show him a bit of your face. there were tears in your eyes, though you didn't dare let miles see them fall down your face; there was a sob stuck in your throat, but you didn't dare let miles hear it escape your lips. you had been there before, being severely troubled for more things than just homework–but never had you been advised to do anything than the age old phrases you've heard all your life as a kid: 'get over it.'

you took in a deep breath and tried to tell him what those words you've exhausted yourself from saying all the damn time–that you don't need any help, that you've got this, that you're okay... but your body's betraying you right now. it's betraying you for turning your back on your own feelings, but that... was never your fault, never. as you let out the breath you've been holding in, the hot tears came streaking down the ends of your eyes, your scowl morphing into a sad frown as you felt yourself slowly come undone and all the raging thoughts in your mind boiled down into one thought right then and there: 'fuck no, i am far from okay'.

you had one tear come down, then two, then... a whole waterfall of tears came pouring down your eyes as you finally released that sob you had been desperately keeping in. you had released it out into the air as it mingled with miles' shushing and gentle whispers as he held you while you leaned against him, wailing as you tried telling him how nothing had been right lately. you choked out in broken cries how you desperately wanted a way out of everything horrible that's been happening but you didn't want anyone else to be bothered by your 'stupid, insignificant problems'.

"i just... want to be okay... but i can't even pretend to be okay for at least one damn day." "please, stop pretending, mi vida. it's hurting me how you... how you think it's strength to rake up everything by yourself... when you clearly need help." miles said with a cracked voice as he felt himself choke up at your melancholic state. you cried even more out of guilt that you saddened miles, but he kissed your forehead, cheek–your whole face as he murmured words of reassurance, of love, to you to calm you down and comfort you. "you're not alone, not anymore... i don't care if some idiots in your life want you to deal with alone, never to bother them–you're never a bother to me, got that?" he mutters to you as he holds you close, letting you sob into his shoulder, your sobs getting louder and louder all the while. he shushes you and rubs your back gently, kissing your wet cheeks as he keeps reminding you that no matter what you're going through, what problems you're having, he's always going to be there for you–be the help you'll need, one way or another.

"please, don't be scared, mi vida... you can be honest with me. i promised to love you with all my heart, protect you, and... always be the help you'll need."

he whispered to you as he looked into your eyes and gently wiped your tears away and leaned his forehead against yours, hoping you would be more lenient, more understanding towards yourself and your own needs; and that you wouldn't hesitate to ask him for help. because even if you don't ask him to, he'll be there to help you, be there to guide you, be there to comfort you the best he can. because he loves you, and knows you deserve more than what you think you deserve, that you deserve... the best of the best, and nothing less.

tags !! @ii01vq @luvstarrstruck @maxoloqy @k4tsu3 @solecitoszn @toneystank-3000 @fiannee @popeheywardssecretgf @lovefrominaya @onginlove @meowmoraless @q2ie @zalayni @anikaluv @conitagray

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yourpsicodelicbitch · 1 year

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Astro observations bc it turned into one ⭕️

I’m fucking trying to do a short post again but my overthinking powers are gaining me. I fucking hate myself, this post was supposed to be a family astro observation post and then I turned it into a moon sign post and then into an astro observation post, and you know what?! IT’S MARVELOUS OKAY

Disclaimer: we have to imagine everyone has a functional family 🤩

Taurus moon child tends to be the mommas kid. They just love the comfort in those hugs, it gives them peace or certainly a mom-son moment. They could (would) appreciate it daily. (sorry for those motherless taurus moons)

The Gemini moon kid ALWAYS have a mom that is not certain a mom, they don’t fit in the prototype of a traditional mom. The mom of these children are working, or hate doing stuff like buying school material for their children, they could not even listen to their kids when they’re talking…I don’t fucking know too specific I know I feel like the kid could have felt that the mom was in her own world, thinking and thinking, spacing out, that they couldn’t relay on them, sometimes.

Aquarius mercury 12H kid please just shut the fuck up. Well I mean, don’t but yes. First, yes because you have so many reasons to speak out. About the things that you perceive (too much bb, you’re like a sponge😭), the injustice, etc., also about the introspection you have done and the very strong emotional depth you have to deal with but you don’t want to and let almost nobody know about it blablabla … Everything is peaceful and harmonious until you decide that the best way to approach is to be taken by your impulses and the strong emotions you feel, to finally speak out. Aquarius mercuries always think they’re right, so stubborn, will think that their idea is better. It could be so hurtful to others, the words you say without thinking how it would affect them. Winning an argument is not always satisfactory. You have to know, I’m just saying 😟🤭 Please, take a deep breath and repeat with me: “I have the ability to control myself, open my mind and see that even if I’m suffering and feel TOO MUCH it hurts, it doesn’t mean I have the right to hurt others with my actions and CERTAINLY words. It’s important to prepare or think what I’m about to call out, because nobody it’s going to take me serious if I yell uncontrollably”. Poor parents (not true fuck them no lie no fuck them like yes but no), everything is injustice, the way they treat you, blablabla etc. (I’m not a fan of supporting parents) I was going to turn this into a child observation and I deviate from the topic. Kill me please. omfg I’m so dramatic.

People with Gemini rising are SO OVERTHINKERS, THEY THINK TOO MUCH. I know it’s too obvious okay? They’re so logical, they think twice, not twice, 462946 times before doing something “risky” (that’s not even risky, for me at least). If I said “Do it for the experience”, they’re not going to deny the idea at first, but they’re going to stay forever in their minds and think if it’s a good idea, the pros the cons, the people, environment, etc. everything you could imagine. They’re gonna be like “I don’t knooow”, and start making questions about the plan. They take their time. And the more they think the more pessimist they turn and finally they’re gonna decline. They are going to ghost you or take a pause or not going to confirm. But these implies only and most if you ask them out or on an event situation, something that has to do with changing environment or simply take them out of their house.

Not in the way Libras sun do, they meditate the idea to make the best decision -I’m not saying Gemini risings don’t do that-, and they could be so indecisive in routine questions, like if they ask them “what do you want? chocolate milk or normal milk?” or “Should I put these pants or these ones?” I’m the libra sun I DONT FUCKING KNOW OKAY? IM IN MY FUCKING MIND AND I HAVE TO DRESS THE WAY I FEEL AND THE OCCASION OF COURSE AND THE…😭PLEASE HELP ME

—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•

•This is based on my personal experience.

•English is not my first language.

•I’m not a profesional astrologer.

Thank youu. baibaiii🫣🫶🏼💋

Do not copy. Please give me credits.

#astro observations #astrology #libra sun #12h placements #taurus moon #aquarius #aquarius mercury #gemini #gemini moon #taurus #gemini rising #pisces moon #astrologia #sag venus #pinterest #thisisnotmyfirstlanguage #fuck it #astro notes

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indouloureux · 2 years

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how are u love? I dont know if you saw the pictures and videos of joseph and jamie in brazil (I just saw them and I'm SCREAMING) but could you write something based on that? like joseph x costar!reader?

ps: you're amazing and I LOVE that you write for Joseph sm and you do it SO WELL

HI IM GOOD YES i saw their pics from brazil and i went absolutely feral!!! tysm for reading my works ily !! 🫶 hope you enjoy this

side note: a couple of you guys sent in requests and im sorry if im unable to post it sooner. i promise i will get to them and i absolutely love your ideas!!! i also sincerely apologize if the fonts are small im writing the blurbs on my phone and ive yet to figure out how to put "read more".

brazil is really pretty, and so is the smile on his face.

his white dress shirt hangs perfectly around his frame, but his grey blazer is missing and is instead draped over your shoulders, an offer he'd done out of worry.

even so, joseph's got an arm around your waist, holding a drink in his hand that he so carelessly waves around as he talks to people though not spilling it on anyone else. his laugh is bright and a bit drunk, but it's still contagious nonetheless.

"hey," he murmurs in your ear. "i bet you twenty dollars i get at least more than fifteen questions about what my vecna song is, deal?"

you snort, gyrating your wrist to swirl your drink. "why? did the question reach brazil?"

"i can't tell you how many times i've said the words up and down by venga boys. it's a lot more than the amount of wrong theories i saw about volume two."

joseph beams at your smile, and as much as he wants to place a kiss on your temple, he's too shy to do so in a public place. "alright. and if it's not more than fifteen, i get the twenty dollars?"

"twenty dollars and a kiss," he offers. "only because i haven't kissed you since this morning and i've been taking it out on this glass."

"eugh," you turn away from him. "gross,"

"it's true," joseph removes his arm from around your waist, only to step in front of you so you'd look at him. "when you were at the toilet i've been mouthing my drink."

"jesus, joseph."

"and mary," he smiles at you, comes back to his original position where he slots himself at your side with a hand around your back in a kind possessive manner. "no one has actually asked you what your vecna song is, though,"

"i'd rather not answer than when yours sounds like a kids bop music at a child's birthday party," you playfully clink your glass with his. joseph wrinkles his nose and opens his mouth in a silent gasp, feigning offense at your joke.

"my, how rude! i've never judged you for listening to doja cat for a whole week when she tweeted about me," joseph squints his eyes at you.

"it's my way of coping. a hot girl flirts with my boyfriend and then what?" you shake your head at him. joseph smiles, and he's really fighting the urge not to kiss you. "plus her music's good. you should try listening to it instead of dancing to venga boys every morning."

"never disrespect up and down like that," he scoffs. his hand reaches out to play with the sleeves of the blazer around your shoulder, and you find yourself tracing the curve of his chain.

"yeah yeah, whatever."

"oh, here comes another one," finally, he steals a quick peck on your temple, hand sinking deeper into your waist. "prepare to lose twenty dollars, darling."

would very much appreciate feedback and reblogs!! <3

#joseph quinn blurb #joseph quinn x y/n #joseph quinn x you #joseph quinn fluff #joseph quinn #requests #joseph quinn x reader #joseph quinn fanfiction #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson fic #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fanfiction

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inamagicalhallucination · 2 years

Text

merlin but its just him sneaking out magic users to safety in ridiculous and obvious ways

like it starts with him sneaking into the dungeons and leading them out the night before their execution but making sure he has an alibi for the night just in case (it doesn’t matter if he doesn’t tbh arthur will be there to explain how his dimwitted manservant could never pull this off)

then gradually he doesn’t even wait until it’s night (working for gaius and for arthur is hard and that doesn’t even account for his job as arthur’s secret protector - he has no time)

there’s a scene where some evil magic user tries to assassinate arthur but merlin finds out and

merlin: if i may ask, why are you trying to kill arthur

evil magic user: BECAUSE OF THE EVILS HIS FATHER HAS PLAGUED THIS LAND WITH

merlin: ah but you’re not killing his father, you’re killing arthur

evil magic user: I AM STOPPING UTHER’S BLOOD FROM CONTINUING TO POISON MORE AND MORE PEOPLE

merlin: well that’s not really fair to arthur, is it? your anger is understandable but arthur is not his father, it would be unfair to damn him for his father’s sins. instead if we show arthur that magic is not evil, he will know his father’s ways were wrong

contemplating evil magic user: how can we put our trust on a chance

merlin: arthur’s a good man, my word may mean little, but i truly know him. would you like to come up for tea and we can discuss it thoroughly and also how you should spend your energy finding other magic users so you have a community and you can all plan for a better future together

not so evil magic user: ... yes please

magic users who don’t have anywhere to go all get sent to hunith’s house where she helps them find their footing and sometimes they stay in ealdor and sometimes they leave but they’re safe

everyone in ealdor side-eyes the random ass people hunith’s kid keeps on sending her but ultimately dont say shit because god knows uther would just kill all of them for assisting magic or some bs and their own king isnt better

there is a scene where merlin sneaks a magic user out and they thank him for risking his life and merlin says “nah don’t worry i do this all the time” and then makes a note to himself to tell arthur that the security at camelot is awful (after arthur becomes king of course)

sometimes when all else fails merlin pretends to know whatever person is on the run and makes a big show about missing them and no way could they have magic maybe he uses his magic to block theirs or if theyre a druid cover their druid marks and yeah

he pretends mordred is his younger brother and no one questions it

arthur knows what he’s doing and corners him like “ARE YOU STUPID?? YOU’RE SO OBVIOUS MY FATHER WILL FIND OUT”

and merlin’s like “no offense but your dad aint known for being smart babe”

and arthurs like thats treason but he helps cover up for merlin anyway

merlin helping someone sneak out but then bringing them to arthur’s room real quick because he forgot something there

merlin using the residents of the castle’s stupidity and obliviousness against them

leon knows whats going on and he brings it up to arthur before arthur figures it out but he does it vaguely and arthur thinks its about his crush on merlin and swears leon to secrecy and leons like “aight” and helps cover for merlin too

arthur still doesn’t know about merlin’s magic

leon does though and he thinks its another thing that him and arthur have sworn to secrecy about

there’s now a place near ealdor where magic users can go for safety if they don’t go to hunith directly like a magic hotel thing

yeah

merlin accidentally and kinda purposefully at times (but mostly on accident) helps unite the magic community and that causes less people to go evil

unfortunately, it also means that people who are too far gone in their desire for revenge or just in their own evilness are more organized but merlin is strong so its okay and he doesn’t have to deal with half assed attempts made by people who don’t think they have any other choice

the servants all know whats up but they don’t get paid enough to deal with this shit

yeah thats all ive got for now

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 1 month

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AITA for accepting money/gifts from my mom?

(🦭🐟 to help find later)

Ok bear with me here because this is a serious question w/ some context even though the question doesn't seem bad.

My (19NB) mom (54F) is not a very good parent. Things were not great when I was a kid, to say the least. It's complicated to get into so I'm gonna glaze over most of it and say I plan to go low/no contact when I'm older and can afford to support myself on my own. For now I'm amicable since I need help while getting through college. This has been my plan for a WHILE but I've started to feel a little guilty?

My biggest issue with my mom is the way that she treats/treated my siblings. Sometimes she gets on my nerves but I know I have the privilege of being the youngest (and the favorite) therefore my parents don't pull the same kind of bullshit with me. For example one of my siblings had family therapy with her, and she would frequently not show up and leave them to do the exercises with the other families in the group session that they didn't know. She also complained about their suicide attempt. She talks down to my oldest sister because she couldn't pursue the medical career my parents wanted because she couldn't deal with the cadavers, and since she spent her whole education trying to reach their standards she's been lost trying to figure out what she wants for herself, and my parents keep harping on her for not having a career plan and being "useless". This is only the tip of the iceberg, and it's plenty enough for me to feel justified in my decision to eventually go no contact. I am not asking if AITA for cutting her off, that is not where the guilt is.

It's always been the case that instead of directly saying she was wrong my mom would spend a lot of money on us and buy gifts (usually stuff she likes and not what we like, but I figured out I could leverage her guilt to buy specific things bc free stuff ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ even if I don't forgive her). I think this is because she didn't have much money growing up so now she's a shopaholic now that she has the money to do so (both my parents are in the medical field so they are far from poor. abt upper middle class). She also keeps defending our uncle despite us bringing up how he's creepy and pervy and makes us uncomfortable, and she has some... interesting political takes (like defending the price of insulin being so high???)

My mom I think has been trying to be better but she still never apologizes for any of her actions and is guilt trippy by saying stuff abt how we all think shes a bad mom that caused all her kids to be depressed and suicidal. So its not enough of an improvement for me to forgive her, but I do notice that she walks away from situations sometimes rather than blow her fuse, and she's more tolerant of my ADHD and queerness than she used to be. And she's been trying to be more supportive of me and my decision to pursue an art career. I do believe that people can get better and change themselves, I just think in the case of my mom it's too little too late (and she hasn't improved her relationship with my siblings as much). I've also been polite and friendly since I'm still living with her.

So like, this combined with me accepting her gifts makes me think I'm leading her on? Like she thinks that she's salvaging a relationship with one of her kids and that I'll stay. And I feel a little bad about that. Like if it was JUST the gifts I would feel no guilt bc if she thinks she can bribe her way into our good graces without changing her behavior than shes gonna be down money and still have no kids. But shes trying to improve, albeit slowly and not when we needed her, but better nonetheless. So it feels less "this is the least she could do given the trauma" and more "i feel like i'm taking advantage of her".

One of my siblings refuses to accept her money on principle (they've already moved out) and it makes me think I should probably do the same, but also i dont know if I can since I don't have a job yet and I'm still in school, so maybe just refuse the gifts thing? But neither of my siblings seem to have an issue with my relationship with her, so maybe I shouldn't feel bad? She's treating me better so I feel I have less justification for using her wealth for my own benefit, even if I still don't forgive her for how she treated my siblings.

Basically, AITA for still accepting guilt money/gifts from my shitty mom despite planning on cutting her off later on?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #suicide cw

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ecoamerica · 22 days

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spideycatt · 10 months

Note

What’s the origin for the nickname “moss”?😭

Cat and Mouse Part 2 || 42!MM x R

Synopsis:

The aftermath of Meadow revealing your secret/ a backstory

Word count: 2.5K (lord)

Now playing: you know wassup // kehlani, angel // pinkpantheress

part 1!

Warnings: Reader is Black, this is pretty tame, cursing, weed in one part, Y/n / Ynnie is used, Fighting but it’s just described😸

Not rlly warnings: The flashbacks and what we tell the class isn’t exactly the same, just the more detailed version. Gwen is black in this universe just becuz, no superheroes or villains just a reg earth, college drama oooo, Reader was a goody two shoes before meeting Miles (Like… not knowing was weed looks like goody two shoes),

“So you guys are dating!!” Someone in the crowd shouted, everyone agreeing with them.

“Actually,” you said smiling, making your way over to Miles and Meadow. “We’re married. Since last year.” You finished, untucking a necklace from your shirt to reveal a ring on a necklace, making everyone go crazier.

“Dont even think about startin’ all that yappin’! Its time for class so get your butts to your seats. Quickly!” Miles shouted making everyone complain as they made their way into their respective classrooms. You shook your head making grabby hands to your daughter.

“Meymey stop being a daddy’s girl and come back to mommy! I miss you already!” You fake cried, pouting as Meadow laughed at you.

“Papá! Isn’t mommy being silly?”

Miles smirked down at you, quick to agree with the baby. “Yup, she is. You had her all day its my turn.” He stuck his tongue out at you, scurrying into his room before letting you talk, making you chuckle.

You go back into the classroom, sighing deeply when you see all your students looking at you expectantly.

“What?” You say, deeply confused as to what they want from you now.

“Sooo, you’re not gonna tell us how you guys met??” One of your students replied with a wide smile on his face.

“Uhm.. no?” You chuckled shaking your head. “Why would I tell you that?”

“You owe us for lying to everyone for the whole schoolyear!!”

“Yea!”

“Pleaseeee Ms.y/n! Or should we call you Mrs. Morales?”

Once again, a round of ‘ooo’s go around the classroom, but this time directed at you.

“Alright alright I’ll tell you guys, and no you don’t get to call me Mrs. Morales. What’s wrong with y’all..” You mutter the last part to yourself, dreading telling your kids how you met your husband.

—

“You gotta be kidding me…” You whisper to yourself, looking at your new roommates. Your dorm situation had been all over the place the whole semester, resulting in you having to room off campus with what looked like the meanest man you’ve ever seen, and the nicest girl ever.

“Your rooms over there, kitchens over there, oh!— me and you share a bathroom, hope you don’t mind! My room is right there if you need something! Or if you wanna hang out I don’t mind.” The girl, Gwendolyn if you remembered correctly, smiled brightly at you. The tall boy next to her nodded his head at you both and went to his room.

“What’s his deal?” You question, trying to peak into his room. You didn’t see anything but purple walls before he closed the door though.

“Ah, that’s Miles. He’s nice once to get him, don’t worry! Super cute though, don’t you think?” She smirked, bumping shoulders with you.

“Yea… I guess so.”

—

“So you guys were roommates? That’s so boringgg.” Someone in the back whined.

“If it’s so boring then I don’t need to finish my story, right?” You laugh, stretching back in your desk chair.

“Bro why the fuck did you say that?”

“Dont listen to this idiot, Miss!”

“What did Gwendolyn look like?”

You stop to think about the question, trying to remember since it’s been a couple years since you’ve seen her.

“She.. was a little taller than me. Really pretty girl, big eyes, and she had a gap I think. And she had all types of piercings, and she always got her hair done in the color blonde with pink ends for some reason.”

“So she black?”

“Yea, but she’s from the country part of new york pretty sure. Anyways let me continue..”

—

You and Gwen had become good friends over time. You learned some new, albeit boring, things about her.

You couldn’t say the same for Miles though. You never really talked to him after you realized you weren’t gonna get past a quiet nod in your direction. But even then, you found yourself liking his coy personality. You wanted to learn new things about him, even if it was boring. Only thing you learned about him was that he was also studying to get an Education Degree.

You made your way back home after a long day at school, ready to shower and fall face first into your bed. Unlocking the door, you chuck your bag on the entryway table, ignoring how Miles stared at you with a confused look on his face.

You were right by your door when Gwen called your name running up to you.

God you loved the girl but damn can you live?

“Ynnieee, how was classes?” She asked, twirling her blonde and pink braids with a finger.

“They was aight, I’m tired as hell.” You groan, rubbing your eyes.

“Oh well before you go! Theres this thing I’m going to next Saturday. Come with me?” She looked down at you expectantly. You found yourself fighting against the voice in your head. Part of you wants to say no and sleep for days, but the other part sees this as an opportunity to get out the apartment for something outside of school for once.

“Alright. I’ll go. Now leave me alone I wanna sleep forever.” You say, rushing into your room to shower and lay down. You’d felt a little bad for rushing away like that, but your shower was more important to you in the moment. And you didn’t see how Gwen reacted to your slight attitude, eyes squinting at your door hard enough to burn a hole through it.

Your shower and nap worked wonders. You woke up at around 2 in the morning, not healthy at all but aye, a good nap is a good nap. You sit up in your bed, feeling way better than you had when you got home. Feeling a little thirsty, you make your way to the kitchen, deciding to eat some noodles for dinner too.

“Why you up so late?” You heard a gruff voice behind you, making you almost jump out your skin. You whip around to see who was talking to you, and it was none other than your mysterious roommate Miles.

“Miles, what the fuck?” You whisper scream, putting your bowl of microwave noodles down.

“You ain’t answer my question, ma.” He smirked at your annoyed tone, leaning his back against the counter across from you. You roll your eyes, ignoring how the nickname made you feel.

“I just woke up and i’m hungry, obviously,” you said, gesturing to your noodles. “Why are you up, Mr. Morales?”

“Can’t sleep.” He sighed deeply, looking down at you like he wanted to ask something.

“What?” You said softly, slurping on some noodles as you look back at Miles.

“Nun.. just, wanna hang out in my room?”

“Uhh sure..”

“Your rooms so clean..” You say, analyzing the things around you. Movie posters and artwork that seems to be Miles’ are strung around the deep purple walls. Not a speck of dust on any of his things, only thing slightly messy was his bed. Probably from tossing and turning while trying to fall asleep.

“Are you saying you thought I lived like a pig?” He laughed at you, sitting on the edge of his bed, pulling a folding tray close to him.

You shrugged, slurping up more noodles while standing. You didn’t really know what to do with yourself, this being the first time you actually talked to Miles.

“Why you still standing up? C’mon,” He beckoned you to sit next to him, taking a shoebox from under his bed. “You ever smoke a blunt before?”

—

“So you guys played games and talked till you fell asleep?”

“Yup! Don’t tell him I told you this but, he sucks at Mortal Kombat.”

—

“…Huh?”

This earned you a confused look from Miles.

“A blunt. A joint. Doja.”

You furrow your eyebrows.

“Like… the singer?”

“You gotta be kidding me.” He lays back on his bed, laughing at you like his life depended on it. “You telling me you don’t know what weed is?”

“Why didn’t you just say weed in the first place!” You say, hitting him lightly on the thigh.

“Because you’re old enough to know what a blunt is?” He chuckled, sitting back up to open the shoebox and take out some stuff. You watched silently as a he rolled the ‘blunt’ up, staring at him as he brought it up to his lips and lit it up.

“I’ve never seen weed before,” You mutter scooting farther into the bed till you hit the wall. “Why does it look like…”

“Like what?” Miles asked, smiling a little as he waited to see where this was going.

“Nah, you’re gonna make fun of me.”

“I won’t, ma. I promise.” He said turning to look at you as he inhaled and blew the smoke in your face, making you fan it away.

“I was going to say it kinda looks like moss.” You whisper, looking away in embarrassment as Miles guffawed at your cluelessness.

“Man I’m never letting you live that down.” He shook his head with a smirk. You laughed also, heart swelling at the fact that this might happen again, and Miles may start talking to you more.

—

“After that we became good friends yada yada yada. We hung out a lot, and sometimes had sleepovers in each others rooms,” You say as you filed some papers away. “And Gwen didn’t like that.”

“Oh my god did y’all fight?!” A kid in the back exclaimed, bouncing up and down in excitement.

“What? No, I don’t fight people. She did want to fight me though.”

Everyone made a disappointed noise at that, when the door opened with Meadow and Miles looking inside.

“What lies she telling y’all now?” Miles scoffed as Meadow ran into her mother’s arms. He walked up to you and gave you a small peck on your cheek, making the whole class gag.

“First of all, ew. Second of all, Mrs. Morales was telling us about how she didn’t fight Gwen cuz she don’t fight people.”

“Mrs. Morales?” Miles said looking at you as you shook your head and shrugged. “Man she really is lying to yall. She did fight Gwen, whooped her ass for real. And then she handed my ass to me too. I’m getting flashbacks.” He shuddered at the memory.

“Miles!” You shoved his arm, but you were drowned out by the class asking why and what happened.

—

“You gotta be kidding me.” You whisper as you get hit with a strong sense of deja vu. Weeks have passed since the first time you and Miles talked. And you’ve started to catch feelings. But obviously, your sweet little roommate, who wasn’t really sweet or little at all, didn’t like that. Despite her very obvious disliking you and Miles’ blooming relationship, she didn’t do anything to stop you two from becoming more than friends. Until now.

You sigh deeply as watch Gwen all up on Miles, talking his ear off and rubbing in him as they sat on the couch. Miles payed her no mind, scrolling on his phone as he waited for you to come home since he missed you all day. She looked up at you smiling her fake little smile as she rested her head on Miles’ shoulder. “Hey roomie!”

You look at her with a straight face, eyes moving to Miles who’d jumped up to talk to you.

“Ma it’s not what it looks-“

“Ok. I’m going to bed.” Interupting him, you march into your room, slamming the door behind you hoping your roommates would take the hint.

—

“Damnnnn Ms.y/n you got played by Mr. Morales? Tsk, tsk, tsk. Now me personally I would never treat you like that-“

“Dont even start with that foolishness,” Miles rolled his eyes at the kid. “It was a lil misunderstanding thas it. Lemme continue.”

—

But of course. Gwen didn’t.

“Ynnie?” Gwen knocked on the door before she came in. Sitting on the edge of the bed next to you.

“Hm?”

“You seem out of it are you ok..?” She asked quietly, she sounded so… sincere that you almost thought she was being genuine. Almost. But her behavior these past few weeks was enough to not trust her.

She leaned in to whisper in your ear.

“Is it because I got to Miles before you could?”

“Excuse me?” You stare at Gwen with a confused look on your face.

“Y’know. Cause I’m better than you and all that.” She shrugged with a smirk on her face.

—

“And then BAM Ms. y/n was all on her, and I had to come in and separate them, Gwen tried to get me to feel bad for her too. She was like “Miles! Do something!” ‘N I looked at her like “Really?” And she went crying to her room, embarrassing.” He tutted. “When I looked at Ms. y/n she started yelling at me and punching my chest, shoot felt like I was Gwen for a second! I’m sure she had it worse though, cause she moved out two days after. Extra embarrassing.”

“Damnnnn!”

“Ms. y/n you kinda scare me now..”

“Is he lying Miss?”

You hesitated before speaking, “I mean, its a lil dramatic sure but it aint too far off.”

“Damnnnn!”

“You guys are so dramatic. We talked it out after like a week and everything was all good.” You shook your head in disbelief as you pack up your things. Miles’ class ended squeezing into your classroom in the middle of his rendition, but you decided against bothering them and got some work done while playing with Meadow. It was now the end of class and everyone was huddled up on your large carpet, like a bunch of children listening to someone read a book at the library.

“What happened after that, papà?” Meadow questioned, tugging on his pant leg as he leans against the front of your desk.

“Enough from Papà. He’s a bad storyteller,” You said putting on your jacket and grabbing your work bag. “We start dating, graduate college, get engaged, have you- my sweet sweet princess, get married when you were two, and end up here teaching these losers about art and science! The end!

“Yup. The end. Alright c’mon back to class guys,” Miles directed, turning to look back at you before he walked out the door. “Chinese for dinner?”

“Mhm, is that ok with you, MeyMey?” You coo at your daughter as she agrees with you.

—

“Miles?” You whisper, leaning your head on your husbands shoulder as you rub your stomach.

“Whats up, Ma?”

“You think I’ll be any good at this? Teaching the students and the being a mom, I mean.” You sigh, looking up at him.

“You’ll be the best,” He whispered back, wrapping his arm around your shoulder and kissing your forehead. “I’m sure the kids will love you, and I’m sure our daughter will love you even more.”

You chuckled at that, slowly drifting off to sleep as Miles rubs your side gently.

“Daughter?”

“Yea, and something tells me she’s gonna be a daddy’s girl. Can’t wait to spoil my pretty ladies forever.”

“Yea… yea that sounds nice.”

kkuet.

The moss thing is based on a true story yall, and i’m the victim 😞😭

Everyone who requested a part 2!

@ulovejayy @sukisprettyface @edgyficuselastica @snowspidey @hey-girl-hey @cumbermovels @ohsoprada @pinkfenti @heavisdelulu @kllovrj @laylasbunbunny @chickenalfredo1312

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quartztwst · 3 months

Note

Hii, sorry if this is a weird question, but it seems like you know Azul's character rlly well, so I wanted to ask - Do you think he'd be more of a tsundere in any kind of relationship (platonic or romantic) or open about his feelings? Have a nice day!

OHHH NO YOU ASKED THE WRONGGGG PERSONNNNNDKFJNAKADJSFNSNDKF i literally characterize Azul so bad i literally wrote him cooking meth and him being silly……. There’s plenty of people that do a much better way of understanding Azul’s personality and his relationships like @/pianostarinwonderland and some others nfasdfkjsk

I am the LAST PERSON TO BE ASKED THIS BC I DO TOO MUCH STUPID SHIT WITH HIM HRELPRL but I’ll give you my opinion!! Btw it’s not properly typed bc i love rambling

FIRST… AN (ATTEMPT) UNDERSTANDING OF AZUL (BECAUSE I CANNOT “ANALYZE”) IN HOW HE VIEWS RELATIONSHIPS:

From what personal stories and the game shows, Azul views relationships as transactional. YES I KNOW EVERYONE HAS SAID THAT BUT IT’S SUCH A MAJOR TRAIT IN HIS PERSONALITY. It’s just the truth.

In his stupid PE uniform R personal story, Azul sucks at flying (AS EVER) and Vargas pairs him up with Jamil to help his pathetic attempts. Jamil is obviously annoyed and proceeds to try to help Azul but Azul replies with a “what do you want?” CLEARLY THINKING THAT JAMIL WANTS SOMETHING OUT OF HIM FOR HELPING AZUL FLY ON A BROOM. Jamil doesn’t.. Like he doesn’t care he just wants to get this over with

But you get what I’m saying. Azul’s way of relationships isn’t really.. HEALTHY?? He views relationships as beneficial and transactional. You give and you take… but with friendship!!! It’s not a very healthy way to live but hey, what do you do when you’ve been bullied into nothing. He’s probably been in the “hey, my friend likes you” joke that “those” kids do.

(Okay idk why I said that its actually hurting me while thinking that I’m literally taking damage)

Anyways, what I’m saying is that he’s been treated as a joke by his peers and he probably does his contract deals to be treated seriously. I know it doesn’t sound irrelevant because I’m fucking typing what’s coming to mind but I feel like it’s connected to how he views relationships.

Also take a note on how he also views the tweels. (YES THEY ARE BEST FRIENDS THEY JUST DONT WANNA ADMIT IT). They aren’t servant and master like Jamil and Kalim but they are together like a business deal. They assist Azul and in return, it better be fun for them. (AND THEY WILL NEVER LEAVE AZUL I SWEAR THEY ARE BEST FRIENDS THEY ARE-)

We also need to take a note on how his parents are divorced. This can also affect a child’s view on relationships. (YES HE DOESN’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT HIS BIOLOGICAL DAD JUST LET ME SPEAK)

He has never spoke of his biological father and praises his step father in which he calls “father.” It’s either Azul doesn’t give a fuck about his dad or just forgot about him which is understandable. (Why remember when he doesn’t serve a purpose in your life but your birth?)

But it seems like his mom and step father have a good relationship since he mentions that they get along well and are a good couple which probably will inspire Azul

So what i will piece here is that Azul finds relationships and friendships as transactional but if he were to find an actual SERIOUS romantic relationship, he’ll try to make it work. Also him and the tweels are besties.

SECOND… THE ACTUAL FUCKING QUESTION… TSUNDERE OR OPEN???:

(This is in a Azul Ashengrotto x Reader (Prefect) way)

Personally, I kinda like tsunderes……………… so like a tsundere Azul I would love a lot. Idk i love it when characters get flustered but I wouldn’t think Azul would be a tsundere unless it depends on the person.

In friendships, he would probably see you a business transaction. Someone that will benefit him but he would be kind of sweet??

I MEAN LIKE in a way he would gift you a small souvenir from a school trip.

You know during the City of Flowers trip, he bought the Tweels a souvenir. I would like to think you were at the level of the tweels………. But you’re not.

He gifts you a sweet souvenir and he suddenly says you owe him LMAOOOO

He offers to tutor you and you suddenly owe him

He offers to give you a SMALL discount and then you suddenly owe him

A LOT OF TRANSACTIONS but he cares about you and it benefits you.

He would probably tease you a little too

HOWEVER… ROMANTICALLY IS CONFUSING..

Let’s say he has a crush on you. He’s kind of embarrassed and probably tries his best to hide it a lot BECAUSE HIS ASS IS BY THE TWEELS ALL DAY. A SENSE OF WEAKNESS AND HE’S PROBABLY TEASED LMAO.

Floyd: “Hey, Azul, why are you staring at Shrimpy for so long?”

Azul, has no idea what the fuck is happening to him: “.. Me either.”

At the start, it’s probably so confusing for Azul.

He probably had crushes in elementary school but since he was bullied, he probably saw himself as undesirable which made him keep the feelings to himself to prevent further bullying.

So he’ll try to hide it. SO like OH HE’S FACING YOU?? He’s turning away. He was a bit too comfortable to you?? BYE YOU NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN. He brushed his hand on yours? Omg he’s like 6 feet away from you. I’M EXAGGERATING but he’s a little distant.

And it’s not like he’s visibly flustered. He’s very good at what he does.

I wouldn’t say he would be tsundere but shy and fucking scared LMAO

He’s trying his best to not show signs of affection to you because he doesn’t know how you feel about him

After accepting it, he doesn’t know what to do next. He doesn’t know if he should confess or just let it fade away because his previous crushes faded away.

Azul is a very observant mf so I feel like he would try to observe how you act around him to make his judgement on if he should make his move. (Ew that’s creepy.. but i meant it if you actually feel comfortable around his company or if you feel hostile around him)

His FIRST MOVE… is a FUCKING TRANSACTION.

Azul: “Prefect, I’ve been noticing how awful your study habits are! I’ve been wondering if you need any tips or assistance with it. I would be happy to help you study and be your tutor! … F-For a price of course!”

He’s trying ok. Take it or leave it.

He thinks as long he is beneficial to you, you might find him a bit worthy to have your attention and also it’s to up his confidence

He continues to make these small and helpful transactions and deals until he gets a little more confident.

I feel like he would think his flirting is obvious but his reputation pictures him as a sneaky guy that it doesn’t look genuine.

He is trying his best to look genuine but with his reputation… ermm.. sure buddy.

Azul probably has a plan to get you to date him idk like not in a EVIL SCARY way but in a desperate and pathetic attempt

So basically uh

HE’S TRYING HIS BEST TO BE OPEN 👍

When y’all start dating i feel like he’ll end up more open to you. Gifting you stuff and being on dates.

I adore tsundere Azul still

This is mostly just rambling and things i would think would fit Azul in MY OPINION I’m not good at writing Azul seriously

#azul ashengrotto #twisted wonderland #twst #I SUCK AT WRITING AZUL IM SO SORRY #azul ashengrotto x reader

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kltira · 11 months

Note

Hello! I do hope your having a fantastic day/night!

And may i say i do love your blogs style!

I do hope you dont mind if i drop a request in?

May i get Mukuro (Danganronpa, ) And Kaede ( Danganronpa ) with an S/O that carries their cat around to prevent their common panic attacks and anxiety attacks? Yet they do often get made fun of because of the cat since people think its childish-

I do hope its not too much to ask- i know its a little hard but i believe in you!

And i hope you dont mind that i am 🎀 anon!

-Signed with love by - @regular-ol-anon

Good luck and please take your time!

┊₊˚{☁️} “Comfort Kitty” ₊˚꒦｡

꒦꒷︶꒷ ꔫ Requested by...꒱꒱ @Anon 🎀 ( #cutiekittysender : Anon🎀)

ꔫ Fandom꒱꒱ Danganronpa

ꔫ Genre ꒱꒱ Fluff {100% sfw}

ꔫ Type and pairing꒱꒱ Imagines (x reader) ꔫ Featuring꒱꒱ Mukuro, Kaede, Hiyoko, Fuyuhiko, Nagito, Kokichi

ꔫ Pronouns꒱꒱ They/Them, GN reader

ꔫ Content Warning(s)꒱꒱Panic attacks, light angst, bullying, swearing, Danganronpa spoilers, minor yandere themes

ꔫ Summary꒱꒱ You carry your cat around everywhere! Including Hopes Peak. You have severe anxiety and when your significant other can't be with you 24/7, you need a companion so you're not living with constant panic attacks. Though...Some kids start making fun of you and calling you childish for having your emotional support animal with you. How will your significant other react to you crying at home because of the bullying?

ꔫ Author note(s)꒱꒱ IM CRYING- I SPENT 4 HOURS (IM SLOW AND GET DISTRACTED EASILY) WRITING THIS OR SOMETHING AND THAN I CTRL Z BY ACCIDENT AND IT WENT POOF, SO I NOW HAVE TO WRITE IT AGAIN. SORRY, THIS TOOK LIKE 500 YEARS AAAAA. Anyway, enjoy! Hope you're okay that I added more characters!!

She was a bit different about getting a cat at first because of her job and sister and was afraid something bad could happen to it, but that wasn't quite the case. Though, she would do anything to make you happy, so she was content with getting a cat in the end of things.

Plus with her originally being an orphan anyway, adopting was something she always had her hopes on doing; a pet is a great way to stop!

She knew about your constant anxiety and did her best to help, but sadly with her job she couldn't be there 24/7, so she's glad you have someone to help you when she can't be there. It truly puts her worry at ease.

She grew to love the cat too, and was happy you were confident enough to bring it everywhere with you.

Though when she saw you run home crying with your kitten from school...She knew something was up and anyone who hurt you like this was going on her hitlist....But first she had to go and check on you!

୨₊˚‿︵‿꒰🌸꒱‿︵‿˚₊୧

You emitted sobs from your room. Your cat nudged against you, looking up at you; trying to comfort you. Normally this would help, but the issue was being laughed at for having the kitten. Since you ran home early because of the incident, your shared dorm with your girlfriend was just you and your cat since Hopes Peek was still in session. So who could this be? You slowly got up and sniffled. You tried to look sort of presentable, even though you were still very much upset. Opening the door, you looked up; it was Mukuro! Mukuro always had a very neutral expression, even when you started dating; but you could always tell her true expressions, anyway. She seemed worried, and you could figure out why. "(Y/N)? What happened...? Did you get hurt?" She questioned walking into the dorm room and lightly shutting the door behind her. Mukuro seemed extremally calm, she always did after all she deals with stressful situations being a soldier and all. Though, this calmness didn't mean she wasn't worried, she was always worried and caring about you. You busted out in tears again, jumping up and wrapping your hands around the other as you continued to cry into your girlfriends shoulder. Mukuro was a bit stunned at your sudden movement, but she hugged you back scooching over onto the ground just holding you in her arms for a minute. Your cat purrs and walks over to both of you, rubbing their face on both of you. "You don't have to tell me if you don-" Mukuro was cut off by you looking up at her and beginning to explain how you were getting bullied today and mocked for bringing your cat to school with you. "I'm so weak! I don't deserve to be an ultimate!!!" you mumbled into your lovers chest at the end of your explanation. Mukuro could only rub your back and leave a kiss on your head. "You're not weak my love, far from it. You don't deserve any of the words they dare say to you. I'll take care of them, don't worry." She said that last part more quieter than the rest. You sniffled and wiped away some tears and gave Mukuro a sweet smile, you honestly felt a lot better hearing her soothing voice ring throughout your ears. Your cat came up to you with a small meow while you petted the feline. "Thank you...I love you" you said to both your cat and your girlfriend.

The next day at Hopes Peak when you brought your cat, you were expecting the bullying to continue...Instead the kids that were making fun of you aren't anywhere to be seen. Just your girlfriend walking over to you and kissing you on the cheek as she walks you and your cat to all your classes. In reality, those kids were definitely checked off on Mukuro's hitlist.

You and Kaede both agreed to getting a cat, as it fits both your cozy lifestyles

Your panic attacks always worried her, though Kaede was amazing when it came to helping you through them; she used to have performance anxiety so she gets the feeling.

Super happy you found another great coping mechanism to use when you get all stressed out.

Since you both went to different schools, bringing your cat for comfort really helps you get through the day

Though because of that the bullying started and today you just couldn't take it anymore

So here you were on the bathroom floor next to your cat that was trying to comfort you, crying your eyes out

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Kaede bent down to your level, frowning. She knew about the bullying and always tried her best to cheer you up, and most of the time it worked. This time, you seemed to be too stuck in your own head. Kaede didn't know what to do but hug you and put her hands through your hair in the hope of soothing the tears pouring out of your eyes. "I just wish I didn't have anxiety..." you mumbled in between sobs, your cat just lying on your lap, also not knowing what to do. Kaede was speechless, her mind fumbling over how to respond, but she responded in the only way she knew how: through music and song.

Kaede slowly got up from the ground your eyes tracing her movement as she went over to the other room where the piano was. You rubbed your eye and sniffled, curious on what she was about to do. Your girlfriend started playing the piano, it was your favorite song! Your cat perked up and started to trail around Kaede's feat as she started playing. You smiled getting up and wiping dried up tears, her playing always made you happy and this time...It made you confident and cared about. "Thank you Kaede." you whispered just enough for her to hear once she finished her song. She nodded in approval before giving you a peck on the cheek.

The next day at school the bullying continued, but you were no longer letting it get to you. You were confident bringing your cat with you and simply ignored those who were bothering you. You always remembered Kaede's piano playing when you were anxious about having your cat with you all the time and it truly just made you feel better. Thus, because of your ultimate pianist girlfriend; you feel much better about having your support kitty!

It was actually Hiyoko who wanted the cat in the first place since she never got to have an animal growing up

Of course you agreed, as cats are just the cutest and it would make a great addition to the family.

You always kept your anxiety pretty well hidden since that's just how you were, but you did notice when the cat was around it always helped your mind to be put at ease.

So you started carrying the little guy everywhere with you

Hiyoko didn't mind, she actually secretly thought it was so cute and was happy you both got along

You were only teased at school when Hiyoko wasn't around, since even the bullies feared to be bullied by her wrath

You never said anything as you felt it wasn't a big deal and didn't want to trouble your girlfriend

Though sometimes it was alot to handle and it stressed you out to the point you just broke down at school one day in the bathroom

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Hiyoko waddled after you; she knew something was wrong, and she was absolutely right. "Huh? Y/N? What's wrong!?" She panicked as she hugged you close. Nobody but you would ever see this caring side to her, but she also didn't care if people saw it. Her focus was on you and only you. You sniffled and explained the mean things people had said to you and that it was just too much. She was surprised anyone would dare talk to you that way; you were perfect and the only person who understood her. She had a pouty face on; she was definitely not mad at you but rather at them.

"How dare those pig-faced bitches say anything mean to you? They're such losers, and how is it that they go this low? Hmph." She pouted, crossing her arms, and you giggled. The insults you thought were very creative and cute made you feel a bit better. Hiyoko smiled back at you and helped you up on the floor. Grabbing your hand, she started walking away with you before starting to speak once again. "Cm'on. I'm going to make them say sorry to you!" Your eyes widened; this is Hiyoko were talking about, so it's bound to be insults until they're crying apologies to you. Hiyoko knows how to hit all the weak spots.

You showed her the people that were being mean to you, and she crossed her arms, kimono draping. She looked pissed, and the bullies stopped in their tracks. "You pig-slut losers! You should carry a plant around with you to replace the oxygen you waste! Were you born this stupid, or did you take lessons? I’d slap you, but I don’t want to make your face look any better. Now, see that door? Say sorry and go to the other side of it." She spurted at them, and it seemed to work, as they quickly apologized to you and did as she said. Maybe they were afraid of the amount of bullying Hiyoko would have done if they didn't, as what she said was just a sample. Hiyoko pouted and then looked at you with a smile. "Now, wanna go and get candy? We can get cat treats as well!" She tilted her head as you nodded and smiled back at her.

You already had your feline friend before you started dating Fuyuhiko

It was surprising to you how gentle and caring he was towards your pet. You didn't think he liked cats but he actually really does

You never really carried your cat around before your relationship bloomed, but your anxiety started to get bad and Fuyuhiko was always at dangerous jobs so he wasn't around alot unfortunately

Though when he is around, even though he's not best with his words he gives the best physical affection that always eases your mind

Honestly people were scared to even talk to you because of your boyfriend, but those unknowing of who your boyfriend was was quick to tease and pick on you. Not a good idea on there part

You didn't want to worry Fuyuhiko with this since he has enough on his plate, so you just silently sobbed to yourself when he was away

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A few tears trickled down your cheeks while you were in your shared dorm. Your boyfriend was already gone for whatever the Yakuza had going on at the moment, and he wasn't expected to be home until much later. The bullying earlier really got to you and stressed you out; you weren't sure what else to do but cry and curl up in a ball. Your cat was in the other room asleep; you didn't want even your fluffy little fur ball to see you like this. After a few moments, the door opened quietly. Usually, you would be taking a nap at this time, so Fuyuhiko probably thought as much. When your boyfriend walked in, you tried to quickly wash away your tears, but Fuyuhiko already saw the emotional distress you were in.

His eyes widened, he crouched down to your level, and he gave you a hug. "Who the fuck did this to you? Are you hurt?" He panickily asks, trying to be as quiet as he can to not scare you or make your anxiety worse. You nodded and sniffled, afraid to talk, but you knew it would only worry your boyfriend if you didn't. You took a deep breath, looked up at Fuyuhiko, and made eye contact. Soon enough, you were crying your eyes out, explaining your situation to your beloved. Fuyuhiko's eyes turned to anger. How could someone dare even say a word to you without his permission, nevermind say something so filthy? He took a deep breath, controlling his anger so as not to take it out on you. He kisses you on the lips lightly as you melt into it. "I'll handle it; don't worry, Y/N. I fucking promise you." He whispered into your ear.

The next day, you brought your cat to school as always, expecting the bullies to come and torment you again, almost forgetting Fuyuhiko's promise, until he tapped you on the shoulder. You turned around and smiled at him, pecking his lips with a kiss. He wasn't usually at school because of his job, so it was a happy surprise. "By the way, Y/N, Peko is handling those fuckers today, so she won't be here," he whispered into your ear as your eyes widened. It was a good day to have a Yakuza boyfriend!

He says yes to whatever you want, you are his little hope bagel after all!

But.....A pet? After what happened to his dog he wasn't sure if he deserved to take care or even be around another animal; afraid his luck would do something to it

After a lot of convincing him that it'll be okay, you both agreed to get a kitten

You got a white kitten that looked very similar to Nagito in a weird way, it was comforting to think even when the short minutes when Nagito was away you still had a piece of him

So you started to bring the kitten everywhere with you!

Nagito also suffers from anxiety, so if anyone he understands it the best. He's overjoyed you found a great coping mechanism

Plus he doesn't think he's good enough to comfort you, so this also puts his mind at ease.

Nagito regularly got bullied at school, and it's usually you that would stand up from him but since you started bringing a cat with you...Things started to change

You're a really sensitive person and don't know how to deal with being picked on so you just start crying

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Nagito was a clingy mess, so of course he was with you when you overheard some kids talking bad about you and your cat, and he was there when you started to tear up. Nagitos’ heart broke. How dare someone bring despair to his precious hope? You tried not to weep In front of your boyfriend, not that you were afraid to show weakness but the fact that you couldn’t stand him being a big worried mess about you. Your boyfriend stayed calm and took your hand and guided you out of the school. You didn’t ask what he was doing as you were ecstatic to leave the school and destress. Your cat was on Nagito’s shoulder, curious about how to make you feel better. You and Nagito walked to the car, Nagito in the driver’s seat and you in the passenger seat. He frowned, looking over at your saddened and stressed out state. You had no words as when you were upset and stressed; talking wasn’t a thing you did. Nagito hugged you close and tilted his head. “It’s okay, my hope. Everything will be okay. You’re so strong and beautiful, please don’t listen to their despairful words,” he said softly as your cat climbed onto your lap and curled up, purring. You pet your kitten, then giggle and pet Nagito's hair. Later that day, Nagito drove both of you home. He had a plan of how to handle those people who were picking on you, but for now, he decided to keep your mind off of it. Thus, you Nagito and your kitten all cuddles on the couch together and watched your favorite movie. “... I love you,” you mumbled to Nagito as you cuddled into his chest, snuggling your head into him. His face turned red with blush as you cuddled onto his chest.. You said this a lot to him, but he won’t ever believe he has such a hopeful, significant other that truly loves him. “I love you too.”

Why do you want a cat? Isn't he good enough for you?

He would tease you, but all with love of course

At the adoption center of course he acted like a toddler looking at all the animals and pointing....

"OOOOH!! WHAT ABOUT THIS ONE? CMON! THIS ONES SO COOL!!!"

After an hour you adopted a black cat because Kokichi said it looked evil, but that was a lie as the cat was the sweetest thing to both of you

The kitty would always seem to make you happy just as much as Kokichi did. He had to admit he was a SLIGHHHHT bit jealous but he still was happy for your small little friend

Kokichi was either hated or loved at school, no in between, but everyone knew that you were his queen/king/royalty because he would talk about you ALL the time

So those that didn't like him...Well also didn't like you, but until you started bringing your cat around they had nothing to make fun of you for

You were used to teasing by Kokichi, but this is straight out bullying with the cruel words they said to you

Once the day ended you broke down, frowny face and all

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You were off on the way to your dorms while walking with your kitten on your shoulder and boyfriend next too; you did this every day after your classes, but this time you weren’t as cheerful and you weren’t teasing Kokichi back when he made snarky remarks. He took notice of this but didn’t want to say anything in public with all the other ultimate’s walking through to their own dorms. Kokichi frowned before bringing you closer and taking your hand. He just held your hand on the way back to both of your dorms. Your cat went off to eat, and Kokichi grabbed your wrist with concern. “… What happened?” he asked in a worried tone, tilting his head. “W-what do you mean?” you acted dumb trying to ease your lovers’ concern. “Don’t lie to me, please tell me” a small tremble in his voice at this point; you just sighed and frowned before telling him everything that’s been happening and you started sobbing at the end of your explanation.

Shock swept over Kokichi. He knew people hated him and he couldn't care less, him and D.I.C.E would just prank them all the time anyway, but he draws the line of them messing with his queen/king/royalty. The rest of the night was filled with special attention from your little supreme leader. He was a clingy mess, and you loved it! He gave you many pecks on the cheeks and did everything in his power to distract you from what happened, besides he plans to have D.I.C. E give them the worst prank he can think of tomorrow, making sure they never dare make fun of you for having an emotional support animal again. While you both were cuddling, your cat wanted to join as it pounced onto the bed and curled in between you two, meowing and being a cutie. “See! It’s dividing me from my queen/king/royalty. I told you it’s evil!!!” Kokichi states, giving a pouty look to your cat. All you could do was facepalm at his shenanigans. He was such a loveable goofball.

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