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nebuladreamerrr · 2 days

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Home is wherever you are| Kylian Mbappé x Fem Reader

Summary: After a few months of a lovely relationship, it's time for Kylian to meet your parents and you think he might be uncomfortable or ashamed of the kind of life they lead.

Warnings: English is not my first language

Even though your profession brings you into contact with celebrities, you never entertained the idea of pursuing a relationship with one. Since childhood, you've relished taking charge and imprinting your unique touch on everything you do. From an early age, you delighted in crafting with fabric scraps your mother would occasionally bestow upon you. Despite their humble nature, these textiles fueled your boundless imagination, solidifying your passion for event organization when it came time to choose your path.

Navigating the world of event planning wasn't without its challenges, as success often hinged on one's network. Thus, you embarked on the gradual process of building connections. Initially daunting, given your upbringing in a small village where genuine relationships trumped networking, you acclimated to the dynamic.

Typically, clients reached out to you through referrals from former acquaintances, and you made it your mission to orchestrate celebrations that would linger in their memories. To some, your meticulous attention to detail might have seemed excessive, but to you, each element held significance. Even the simplest of adornments, like napkins, warranted careful selection, ensuring every moment became indelible. Yet, despite your dedication, you felt uneasy attending these events. Whether due to social anxiety or shyness, you preferred delegating oversight to a trusted employee, prepared to intervene remotely if any issues arose.

Everything seemed to be going smoothly for little Amin Hakimi's party until a last-minute hiccup with the birthday cake. Maintaining control was your forte, and such mishaps were rare. However, when they did occur, you hesitated to dispatch an employee to rectify the situation. While the bakery bore responsibility for the oversight, you owned the consequences for placing trust in them. With resolve, you swiftly retrieved the box and hastened to the venue.

Upon your arrival, Hakimi reassured you, understanding the situation, insisting that everything was fine as the party had just begun. Initially, you intended to depart, but he skillfully appealed to your emotions, emphasizing how saddened Amin would be if you left. Tentatively, you attempted to acclimate to the ambiance, grabbing a few canapés, but your efforts were interrupted by a suave Frenchman eager to engage you in conversation. Thanks to him, the evening passed swiftly.

Following that serendipitous encounter, a string of dates ensued, and before either of you knew it, love blossomed unexpectedly. Kylian, typically guarded about his personal life, met his match in your reserved nature. Concerned about public perception and wary of being perceived as with him for his fame, you opted to support him discreetly, save for major games. Kylian, understanding your stance, found added motivation in performing well, knowing you'd be watching.

It was at the Ligue 1 final that you found yourself face-to-face with his parents, a situation orchestrated by Kylian himself. Yet, you couldn't protest, feeling an instant connection with them. From that moment on, they became integral figures in your life.

Now, after eight months together and with the leisure of summer allowing Kylian more flexibility, introducing him to your parents had become almost obligatory. Not doing so risked misconceptions, suggesting secrecy where none existed. They were affectionate and supportive individuals who always championed your aspirations as if they were their own. Their modest lifestyle wasn't due to financial constraints but rather a source of genuine contentment. For instance, your mother eschewed modern conveniences like washing machines and tumble dryers, finding solace in the simplicity of handwashing clothes—a sacred moment for her to reflect amidst the melodies of birdsong. Similarly, your father's preference for a gas stove over a ceramic hob wasn't a matter of practicality but a belief that it imbued dishes with a distinct flavor. You never felt ashamed of their choices; rather, they were the bedrock of your life. Fully aware of your relationship with a football player, they eagerly anticipated meeting him.

So, after preparing a quick protein shake for Kylian to drink after training, you knew it was time to start that conversation.

"Thank you so much, mon amour," Kylian said quickly as he hurried to sit beside you while you sipped the shake you had prepared for him.

"You're welcome, darling. By the way, there's something I've been thinking about, and I'd like to tell you," you said, nervously playing with the bracelets adorning your wrist.

Kylian immediately noticed your nervous gestures and grew concerned. Swiftly, he took your hands in his and said, "Is everything alright? You know you can tell me anything. No matter how overwhelming it may seem, we'll figure it out together."

Upon seeing his loving gestures, you couldn't help but muster a shy smile that his comments had elicited. Quickly, you addressed the burgeoning concern for Kylian. "No, no, nothing is wrong. I simply thought that it was time for you to meet my parents. Though don't worry, I know it's a long car journey and you might feel tired, so if that's the case, we can..."

Before you could continue, Kylian silenced you with a subtle kiss, smiling warmly. "Mon amour, nothing would make me happier."

Despite Kylian's early fame bringing a myriad of opportunities with numerous women, he held the notion of meeting your parents in high regard. For him, it was an intimate milestone in a relationship, and he was certain that he wanted that with you.

From that day forward, Kylian was filled with excitement, so the first weekend he had free, without any interviews or company campaigns, was earmarked to meet your parents. Additionally, he consistently sought your input on attire and suitable gifts for your parents. While he typically favored sporty attire and luxury brands, he harbored no fear of judgment from his potential in-laws. However, he recognized the importance of harmonizing with the natural setting. Ultimately, he settled on vegan soaps infused with natural essences for your mother and a bottle of wine sourced from a vineyard near his locale as the optimal choice for your father.

"Ma cherie, I promise you everything is going to be fine; you have nothing to worry about," Kylian reassured you, casting a reassuring smile as they stopped at a red light.

"I know, honey, but remember they don't have all the electronic resources you're used to, so if you need hot water or if you need to wash your clothes, don't hesitate to..." you said nervously until Kylian interrupted.

"Shhh, mon amour, I've already told you that I went on a school trip to a farm school, and they were the best days of my life, not counting the day I met you. So relax, don't worry."

When you arrived and beheld your parents' quaint little house adorned with various flowers, likely planted by your mother during her gardening course, the first thing you did was greet Fleur, your German shepherd, enveloping her in a warm hug. Your bond with your dog had always been strong and leaving her behind when you moved to the big city had been heartbreaking.

"Mum, we're here" you called out, raising your voice slightly, knowing she could be anywhere in the garden.

Receiving no response, you intertwined your hand with Kylian's, guiding him through the garden as you searched for your parents. You couldn't help but be amused as you watched Kylian marvel at the various objects in sight.

"Honey, this is incredible, like something out of a movie. I wish that when I retire from football and you're not as tied up with your event planning, we could live in a place like this. Or maybe we could buy a second home now to relax when we are stressed," Kylian remarked, his words prompting a smile to spread across your face. You leaned in to give him a gentle kiss, silently conveying your love for his idea and your willingness to do anything as long as it was with him.

Finally, you encountered your mother amidst the strawberry bushes she had likely planted months earlier. Upon seeing you, her excitement was palpable as she enveloped you in a tight hug. Your closeness with your mother was evident, and despite your parents having a phone, they preferred face-to-face conversations, relishing every opportunity to catch up. She released you quickly, however, turning her attention to your companion.

"My goodness, you're taller than I thought," she exclaimed, wrapping Kylian in an affectionate hug. Kylian chuckled softly and reciprocated the hug, embracing his mother-in-law warmly.

After the introductions were complete, your father arrived, having just returned from a ride on his tractor. You all entered the house and settled into the cozy living room, adorned with a wooden table crafted by your father and a fireplace that held a special place in the family's heart, having been passed down through generations.

From that moment on, Kylian's excitement was palpable as he eagerly assisted your parents in any way he could. What made it even better was knowing he wasn't doing it to impress them; he was genuinely fascinated by their ability to thrive without modern technology. He looked like a child following your father around, trying to comprehend the wonders of their world.

"He's a good boy. You're going to marry him," your mother suddenly remarked, handing you a cup of tea.

"What?" you asked, dumbfounded. While marrying Kylian was certainly your desire, your parents hadn't always been keen on your past partners, so their swift intuition caught you off guard.

"Call it mother's instinct or whatever you like, but I'm certain. Mark my words," your mother replied, gazing out the window as the sunset.

You cherished the truth in your mother's words, yet you didn't want to rush and miss out on important moments. So, you savored every adventure with Kylian, allowing your love to deepen with each passing day.

In the end, it seemed your mother's intuition was spot on when you exchanged vows in a quaint stable three years later.

#kylian mbappe x reader #kylian x reader #mbappe imagine #kylian mbappe #mbappe psg #mbappe x reader

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irbcallmefynn · 2 months

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nothing like spending all of the money you have on steam on a replacement controller for your vr headset because the stick is busted!

yeah I've been wanting to play more vr for a long time but I've never wanted to deal with the stick drift and stick... twist? idk what you'd call it but the stick on the left controller of my index twists which is not correct. the replacement left controllers only got back in stock recently so i seized the opportunity and now ill be able to do vr again in like 3-5 days i think maybe.

yaaaayyyyy :333

#vr #valve index #gee i wonder why the left controller specifically was out of stock for so long #almost like there's a major issue with that controller #did they ever fix this hardware issue? no idea. if the new one breaks again i'm giving up.#maybe i'd look into using a different brand. the knuckles are really good though it'd suck giving them up

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235uranium · 9 months

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I really do think that post-canon, stan HAS to learn to stop comparing himself to ford. like, if he doesn't, he's always gonna be kinda miserable? bc fords not going to stop being a hyper-competent genius. and like, to be clear, i don't think that's what stan wants.

but like, stan does have to learn to value himself for the skills he does have instead of obsessing over Not Being Ford.

#☢️.txt #im actually incredibly upset that the stanchurian candidate seems to ALMOST address this issue but then just stops #it opens up with a really good montage and you have the lightbulb scene with ford solving an issue unaware that it would upset stan #and then another scene where fords like lol yeah dont let my brother do public speaking. heres a mind control device have fun #and theres really good potential there for conflict between stan and ford! you can actually have them acknowledge One Of The Issues #theres a great chance to address two of the major issues in their relationship #stans insecurity over ford being a genius and fords distrust in stan!#we couldve had another 'interdimensional super criminal ford pines' joke!#the stans actually working together even if just for a little bit to foil gideon #show us the POTENTIAL!!!!

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batboyblog · 4 months

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2024 Senate Elections: You'd Better VOTE!

Yes it's election year yet again in America! but not just for President, almost as important will be the US Senate!

I'm not gonna lie this is a rough map for Democrats, we're playing a lot of defense in some pretty red states with even our best hopes for a pick up being pretty long shots. But even with narrow control of the Senate we've managed the biggest climate bill in American History a huge infrastructure bill thats bring high speed rail to America capped the price of insulin changed the law to allow Medicare to negotiate drug prices bring savings to everyone, and put over 160 federal judges on the bench, 2/3rds of whom are women and/or people of color the first time white men haven't been the majority of nominees by a President. So let's keep progress going by voting for, supporting, donating, and volunteering for the following candidates in the races that will decide the US Senate this year.

Arizona

Ruben Gallego (Hold)

After frustrating Democrats by repeatedly voting against major Democratic priorities, supporting the filibuster and putting donors over voters, Arizona Senator Kyrsten Sinema left the Democratic Party to become an independent in 2022. Democratic congressman Ruben Gallego was running to primary Sinema before she left the party and is now the likely Democratic nominee to unseat her and give Arizona the Democratic Senator it deserves. Gallego is a former Marine, combat veteran, Harvard grad, a former state representative, and since 2014 a member of Congress. Gallego is a member of the Progressive Caucus and is known for his blunt and combative style standing up to Republicans. In Congress Gallego has been a strong supporter of native rights advocating for tribes on health care and child welfare issues. Gallego is also the sponsor of a bill to bring about nation wide, free, all-day kindergarten which isn't available in many states. If elected Gallego would be Arizona's first hispanic Senator. Republicans hope that the Democratic vote will split between Sinema and Gallego allowing them to win this important seat. The Republican front runner is conspiracy theorist and Trump super fan, Kari Lake. Lake rose to national fame in 2021 for pushing conspiracy theories about Trump having won the 2020 election, as well as anti-mask and anti-vaccine Covid conspiracies. Lake was the Republican nominee for Arizona governor in 2022. During that campaign she ran on an aggressive anti-LGBT platform, saying she'd ban drag, and was against trans rights. Lake also is against Abortion in all cases. After losing to Democrat Katie Hobbs, Lake refused to concede, and still pushes the conspiracy theory that she's the rightful governor of Arizona. If you live in Arizona please make sure you vote, but more if you have any time between now and November, volunteer to help Gallego! and if you don't live there you can still Donate or buy a pro-choice shirt from his campaign!

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Florida

Debbie Mucarsel-Powell (Flip)

Florida's current Republican Senator Rick Scott is a right wing extremist pushing dangerous ideas even by the standards of the Modern GOP. During his first term as Senator Scott has pushed to defund the IRS, and the Department of Education. He's sponsored bills to punish schools that allow students to use preferred pronouns, to ban affirmative action, bans teaching critical race theory, and ban trans people from women's sports. Scott is against abortion in all cases. Most alarming Rick Scott proposed a radical plan that would "sun-set" ANY and all federal laws after 5 years, including Social Security and Medicare, Scott would place all federal programs and agencies on the chopping block every 5 years for a radical Republican minority to block their renewal and leave us without Social Security, or the EPA, to name just two examples. The likely Democratic nominee is former Congresswoman Debbie Mucarsel-Powell. Born in Ecuador, Mucarsel-Powell immigrated to the US when she was 14 and had work to help support her family. When she was elected to Congress in 2018 she became the first South American born immigrant and first person of Ecuadorian heritage to be elected to Congress. In Congress Mucarsel-Powell was a member of the Progressive caucus, she fought to expand medicare, and secured $200 million for Everglades restoration. After a narrow defeat in 2020 Mucarsel-Powell joined the gun control advocacy group Giffords to fight for gun control a personal issue for her after her father was murdered when she was 24. If you're in Florida please make sure you vote, and Volunteer to help remove on of the most extreme Senators, If you're not in Florida you can help Debbie win by donating.

VOTE VOLUNTEER DONATE

Michigan

Elissa Slotkin (hold)

Long time Democratic Senator Debbie Stabenow is retiring this election, so there will be a tough fight for control of this important swing state Senate seat. The likely Democratic nominee is Congresswoman Elissa Slotkin. Slotkin is a former CIA analyst, after retiring from the CIA she worked in the State and Defense departments during the Obama administration. Slotkin was first elected to Congress in 2018 winning and being re-elected in a tough swing district. In Congress she's fought for common sense gun control, supported the cap on insulin prices and Medicare drug price negotiation, she helped pass a law on drug price transparency, she championed the CHIP act to bring high tech manufacturing jobs back to America, and was a big supporter of Bipartisan Infrastructure Law. Slotkin is centering a pro-choice message in her campaign as well as gun control and bring down medical costs. Who the Republicans will pick isn't totally clear, it seems like it's between Former Congressman Mike Rogers and former Detroit Police chief James Craig. Craig ran for Michigan governor in 2022 before he was disqualified for fraudulent signatures on his nominating petition. Craig has listed cutting off US support to Ukraine as one of his top priorities, and endorsed Trump's 3rd run for President early in the primaries. Mike Rogers is also trying to win over Trump voters and has attacked the rights of LGBT students in schools calling it "social engineering". If you live in Michigan make sure to get out and vote, and also volunteer! And for everyone outside the state you can donate or buy some merch.

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Montana

Jon Tester (re-elect)

In most contexts Montana is a deep red state going for Trump in 2020 57% to 40%. This makes the reelection of Montana's only Democratic member of Congress and only statewide elected Democrat, Jon Tester maybe the toughest election for Democrats this year. A Senator since he was first elected in 2006 Tester has won a series of upset wins in Montana over the years. A 3rd generation farmer Tester has been as strong for small farmers and ranchers in Washington. Tester has always been a champion of accountably and transparency in government pushing ethnics and campaign finance reforms. Tester is rated one of the most effective senators and managed to pass more bills last year than any one else in Congress. He's never been afraid to stand up for the Democratic side even if it'd be an unpopular vote in Red Montana. Tester voted to impeach Trump twice, and he voted against all 3 of Trump's nominees to the Supreme Court. He supported President Obama on The Affordable Care Act and Dodd-Frank, and has supported President Biden on the Inflation Reduction Act and Bipartisan Infrastructure Law. Republicans seem likely to nominate right wing influencer and former Navy SEAL Tim Sheehy. Sheehy promises to get drag queens out of schools and the Lord's Prayer in to the classroom. He also hopes to repeal Obamacare calling for a "total privatization" of health care and made statements against the very idea of health insurance, insisting people should pay full price at point of use. If you're a Montanan make sure to vote to re-elect a champion of the little guy, and also volunteer! if you're not please think of donating what you can, if you can only give to one campaign this cycle this one, or Ohio are the most important!

VOTE VOLUNTEER DONATE SHOP

Nevada

Jacky Rosen (re-elect)

First elected to Congress in 2016 Jacky Rosen moved up to the Senate in 2018. In her first term as a Senator Rosen has championed green energy for Nevada. Together with fellow Democratic Nevada Senator Catherine Cortez Masto, Rosen has gotten millions for solar manufacturing in Nevada as well as millions to replace the state's school buses with electric, and programs to study new groundbreaking green technology. Senator Rosen has been a supporter of gun control, is in favor of banning assault weapons. She sponsored a bill, the Background Check Expansion Act, that would require background checks for all gun sales closing loopholes for on-line sales and gun shows. Rosen is pro-choice and has sponsored a bill to protect doctors from being prosecuted across state lines for providing reproductive care, and is a co-sponsor of a bill to codify Roe V. Wade into federal law. Rosen will likely face Republican celebrity and army veteran Sam Brown. Brown ran and lost a race for the Texas State House in 2014 and ran and lost for Nevada's other Senate seat in 2022. Brown stated he was in favor of getting rid of the Departments of Education, Transportation, and Energy. Brown is against Red Flag gun laws that allow police to temporarily remove fire arms from the home of someone deemed a danger to themselves or others. Brown also has refused to say if he supports a national abortion ban, but does say he's pro-life and wouldn't support any judges that weren't. If you live in Nevada make sure to get out to vote and volunteer to protect the state's green future and the right to reproductive care. If you're not in Nevada consider donating or buying some merch.

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Ohio

Sherrod Brown (re-elect)

Ohio together with Montana represents the toughest re-elect for Democrats this year. The state went for Trump twice, elected a right wing radical, JD Vaince, to the Senate in 2022 and has had a Republican governor since 2010. To complicate thing more Democrat Sherrod Brown is one of the most progressive members of the Senate, regularly scoring along side Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren for the most left wing in the Senate. From the time he was first elected to Congress in 1992 Brown refused to take the Congressional Health Insurance until all Americans could be covered. Brown first supported a Medicare for all bill in 2006 and has supported different efforts to expand Medicare and health coverage. He was a key supporter of the Children Health Insurance Program (CHIP). Brown is a strong supporter of unions and has struggled his whole career to protect unionized manufacturing jobs in Ohio. He was one of the first Senators out on the picket line during the UAW strike of 2023. Brown's hard work has help make Ohio the center of a new booming lithium battery manufacturing in America, a green manufacturing future for the state. Republicans look likely to nominate former used car dealer and father-in-law of Republican Congressman Max Miller, Bernie Moreno. Moreno's main qualification seems to be having been endorsed by Donald Trump. He lists among his priorities "End Socialism in America" and "End Wokeness and Cancel Culture". If you're in Ohio make sure to vote to re-elect a progressive giant and volunteer too! If you live out of Ohio donate, if you're looking for the race where your dollar will matter the most, this one or Montana guys.

VOTE VOLUNTEER DONATE

Pennsylvania

Bob Casey Jr. (re-elect)

First elected in 2006 Bob Casey famously beat incumbent Republican homophobe Rick Santorum by 17 points. Since first entering the Senate Casey has moved leftward on a number of issues. First elected as a pro-Gun Democrat since 2012 Casey has sponsored a number of bills to expand background checks, ban assault weapons, ban extended magazines, and well as supporting mental health funds for victims of gun violence. For a number of years Casey was called the last pro-life Democrat in the Senate, however in 2022 he came out in support of Roe V Wade and voted twice on bills that would have codified the right to an abortion into federal law. Casey voted against all 3 of Trump's Supreme Court picks and has long supported Planned Parenthood's contraception efforts with federal funds, seeing easily available birth control as key to reducing the number of abortions. In 2021 Casey published a plan he called "The Five Freedoms for America's Children" modeled after FDR's famous speech. He proposed automatically enrolling all kids in Medicaid, an expanded child tax cut, a federally supported college fund for all kids who's parents make under $100,000, expanded free school meals, more funds for head start and abuse prevention programs. Republicans are rallying behind Mitch McConnell's hand picked candidate, hedge fund CEO David McCormick. McCormick worked for the Bush administration during Bush's second term. McCormick's wife Dina Powell also worked for the George W. Bush administration and was a senior aid to Trump as well. If you're in Pennsylvania make sure to get out and vote for a solid Democrat out to solve child poverty in America and keep the Hedge Fund guy from Connecticut out, and Volunteer if you can. Remember you can donate where ever you are.

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Texas

Colin Allred (flip)

Texas is currently represented by likely the most hated man in Washington, Ted Cruz. Republicans hate him, Democrats hate him more, he has a very punchable face, he might be the zodiac killer (thats a joke and meme). From shutting down the government in 2013 to try to overturn Obamacare, to leading the charge in Congress to overturn the 2020 election on January 6th Ted Cruz is a greatest hits of the worst parts of the Republican Party of the last 10 years. When Texas lost power in the middle of a historic ice storm in 2021 Ted Cruz and family ditched the state to go on vacation in Mexico, classy. Cruz in the Biden years has cast himself as a culture warrior fighting against "woke" publishing a book "Unwoke: How to Defeat Cultural Marxism in America" in 2023 to kick off his re-election campaign. Texas is a traditionally red state but things are starting to shift and in 2018 Cruz narrowly won re-election over Beto O'Rourke. Democrats hope with the right candidate they can turn Texas blue and beat the most hated Senator in America. Democrats think Congressman Colin Allred is the man for the job. Allred is a former NFL Linebacker for the Titans. After the NFL he went on to get his law degree from UC Berkeley, and work in the Obama administration. Allred was first elected to Congress in 2018, unseating a Republican who'd been in office since 1997 and becoming the first Democrat to represent the area in Congress since 1968. In Congress Allred has supported bills to expand voting right and protect abortion rights, as well as gun control. In the Senate he promises to address Texas' shaky power grid and make sure Texas is never left in the dark again with its leaders missing. Lets do this Texas, make blue Texas a reality if you live in Texas remember to vote and volunteer, if you're an American who hates Ted Cruz you can donate to make in unemployed.

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Wisconsin

Tammy Baldwin (re-elect)

When Tammy Baldwin first ran for Congress in 1998 she was the first openly gay person elected to the US House and the first open Lesbian to serve in Congress. In 2012 she became the first openly gay person elected to the US Senate and the first Lesbian to be a Senator, she is still the only openly gay Senator. Through out her time in office Baldwin has been a tireless voice for LGBT rights, in 2022 she helped spear head the passage of the Respect for Marriage Act to help protect gay marriage, she's also a sponsor of the Equality Act to protect all LGBT people from discrimination. Baldwin is a progressive who was a member of the House Progressive caucus, opposed the Iraq War and supported impeaching Dick Cheney. In the House she introduced bills for a single payer healthcare system in 2000, 2002, 2004, and 2005. In the Senate Baldwin is regularly listed as one of the most progressive members, voting against tax cuts for the rich, supporting a bill to require companies to have workers on their boards, she sponsored a bill to create a public option in Health Care, and has supported gun control efforts. The Republican field to challenge Senator Baldwin is uncertain, but former Milwaukee sheriff David Clarke dominates the polls if he decides to run. Clarke's sheriff's department is accused a number of human rights violations from his time as sheriff, including allowing a prisoner to die of dehydration after 6 days without water in the Milwaukee County Jail. Clarke is a Trump super fan who has pushed conspiracy theories about mass shootings being fake, attacked Black Lives Matter, called Planned Parenthood "Planned Genocide", and called for the mass detention without trial of Americans because he believed there were a million ISIS supporters in America. If you're in Wisconsin make sure to get out and vote for a trailblazing icon and also volunteer if you can, all Americans can donate and support Baldwin wherever they are.

VOTE VOLUNTEER DONATE SHOP

If you're an American citizen and will be 18 years old (or older) by November 5th 2024, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! make sure you're registered to VOTE please check Vote.Org to find out what you need to do, what deadlines there are and act NOW

If you're an American living outside the US, YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO VOTE. Please checkout Vote From Aboard they have literally all the information you need to get registered and get your ballot wherever in the world you are, and Check out Democrats Abroad to take part in the global primary

Where ever you live in the US, there is an important life changing election happening! Get off your phone or computer and get involved, There are Events happening all around you right now Volunteer

Finally if you're a US citizen of any age any where on earth you can donate, donate to elect Biden/Harris donate to elect Democrats to the Senate, To the House, to Governorships, to local office

and the smallest thing you can do is reblog this very long post, thank you!

#2024 elections #politics #american politics #us politics #voting #democrats #Joe Biden #Republicans #donald trump #go vote

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ellemj · 4 months

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Making Sure: 12 Days of Smut #3 - Sex Pollen

Bucky Barnes x Reader One-Shot

Summary: Bucky is exposed to a sex pollen while the two of you are snowed in, stuck in a cabin in the Swiss Alps after finishing up a mission. Oh, and of course, you happen to be his ex-girlfriend.

Warnings: profanity, dubcon (sex pollen), possessive!Bucky, breeding kink, unprotected sex, mutual pining of sorts, some use of y/n, MINORS DNI, 18+!!!

Feel free to comment and let me know if this requires any other warnings.

Word Count: 4k

A/N: My laptop decided it didn't want to turn on today, and then when it finally turned on it didn't want to run any apps so 12 Days of Smut almost became 11 Days of Smut. But anyway, let me know if you guys like this one! For once, it doesn't involve anyone hating anyone or an obscene amount of unbearable tension (which I severely miss).

It’s not all that hard to work with your ex, not when you ended on decent terms. Well, as decent as they could have been. When Bucky broke up with you three months ago, it wasn’t completely out of the blue. You hadn’t been having any problems, you never had any fights, but you knew he was never as into the relationship as you were. He had said from the very beginning that he didn’t think he ever wanted a lifelong commitment. The majority of his life had been spent without having true freedom to make his own decisions. It’s safe to say the man only had about six years of making decisions for himself, between turning eighteen and joining the army. Then the army had a say in everything he did until he was taken by HYDRA. HYDRA controlled him for so long, and honestly, they still have some form of control over him if you consider his nightmares and insomnia issues. So, when things started to feel a little too serious between you two, when Bucky started to realize that he actually loved you, that’s when he called it off.

You’d both agreed to keep the relationship between yourselves, remaining professional at work and around the others. Even Sam had never figured it out. Bucky was so good at keeping it hidden, staying completely stoic unless he was positive you were both alone. When things ended between you two, he became stoic all the time. There have been a few times where you’ve felt a bit angry with how easily he can just shut himself off and pretend like you never had anything between you. You think you might’ve been in love with him. How can you be stoic around him when you loved him? You can’t be. So, instead of being stoic, you’re just a little more quiet than usual. You get your job done, you speak to him as professionally as you can, and then you get away from him.

Unfortunately though, there’s no getting away from him tonight. Technically, your mission is already over. You broke into HYDRA’s only remaining functional lab, you stole at least one sample of each of the various compounds that they were working on, and then you got the hell out of there. You made it all the way back to the safehouse, a small rustic cabin a little ways up in the Swiss Alps. It had been snowing for the last twenty-four hours that you’d been here, but the winter weather came to a head to today on your drive back from the break-in. By the time you got all of the samples safely inside the cabin, there was no way either of you could make the drive back down the mountain to reach the quinjet. You’re stuck here for the night.

“I want them kept at a pretty low temperature overnight, well below thirty degrees.” Bruce has been watching you over a video call as you’ve been cataloging the samples and packing them safely into a padded case. “It’d probably be best to leave them all in the trunk of the car, since it’s so cold out there.” Bucky’s sitting in the living area while you’re working at the kitchen table, but he’s still listening in. He’s listened for the last half hour as you labeled the samples and hummed a little Christmas tune to yourself. Truthfully, he almost forgot that Christmas is in a few days until he heard you humming that song that you love so much. What was it? He can never remember the name, but he recognizes it from last Christmas. You sang it often and he was lucky enough to still be yours then, to still get the privilege of listening to you flit around the tower so festively, infecting everyone around with your cheerful spirit.

“They all fit in the case except for one, but it should be fine. I’ll just stick it in the trunk next to the case and slip it into my bag tomorrow before we drive out.” You say, holding up the thin glass flask containing a very watery, clear liquid. It looks the least terrifying, out of all of the chemicals you retrieved from the lab today.

“Good work today, we’ll see you guys back here tomorrow, if the weather permits.” Bruce gives a little wave before ending the video call. Just as you’re closing the heavy black case of samples, Bucky rises from his seat on the couch and joins you in the kitchen.

“I’ll take them out.” He offers, staying a few feet away from you but at least making eye contact with you. He doesn’t seem to look at you very often since you broke up, but you can’t complain about it. It makes it a little easier to get over him when you’re not drowning in his blue eyes. You give him a curt nod before sliding the case across the table and then setting the sealed flask of clear liquid on top of it.

“Try not to jostle them around too much, carry it with two hands.”

“Got it, two hands.” Bucky repeats. You watch as he lifts the case, leaving the glass flask resting on the lid. You think about carrying the lone chemical out there in your own hands, worrying that Bucky might tip the case a little too far and let the flask fall to the ground outside, but you brush off the worry. He’s never been clumsy, and he sure as hell hasn’t ever been careless. It’ll be fine. It’s just a short walk from the front door to the back of the car.

In retrospect, you should’ve listened to your instincts.

When Bucky rushes in the front door only a minute after he’s stepped outside with the chemicals, a sickening feeling settles deep in your stomach. You quickly turn to the source of commotion as he slams the door shut behind him and starts nearly jogging across the cabin, heading straight for the bathroom at the end of the hall.

“Bucky? What happened?” You call out, your feet carrying you down the hall after him. Bucky strips off his coat, dropping it on the floor in the hall before throwing the bathroom door open and ripping off his shirt. He doesn’t even close the bathroom door. You step over his coat and come to a stop in the doorway as he leans down and turns on the shower.

“Stay back.” He warns, giving you a sideways glance that makes your stomach flip. “I slipped on a patch of ice and the little glass thing on top of the case fell and shattered. Whatever was in it evaporated quick, but I inhaled a lot of it. I don’t know if I got any on me.”

Shit. This is not good. Bucky starts unbuckling his belt, but stops himself after he gets it undone, finally turning and looking you straight in the eye. Right. You’re not together anymore.

“Only rinse, don’t use soap. We don’t know what the chemical was or what might interact with it.” You say, forcing your voice to sound calmer than you feel. Bucky nods, and then shuts the door between the two of you. Shit. You knew you should’ve carried that damn flask yourself.

---

Half an hour later, after Bucky’s finished showering and is resting on the couch per yours and Bruce’s orders, he begins to feel something. He wanted to go to bed, just sleep it off and see how he felt in the morning, but you and Bruce insisted that he stay in the living room and awake so you could monitor him for any weird signs or symptoms. You miss the first few symptoms that Bucky begins to feel. First, his heart rate began picking up. It was so miniscule at first that even he didn’t notice it, but it increased more and more until he could hear his heartbeat pounding in his ears. Then, even in the chilly little cabin with a near-blizzard raging outside, Bucky began to feel hot. Hot to the point of wanting to take off everything he was wearing and go lay in the snow. Now he sits on the couch, breathing a little quicker than he was earlier, with beads of sweat forming on the back of his neck. It’s his increased respiratory rate that you notice first. Then, as you begin looking him over from your far away seat at the kitchen table, you see the way his cheeks are flushed and the way his dark gray t-shirt is beginning to stick to the sweat coming off of his back. Shit. Whatever it was that he was exposed to, it sure as hell wasn’t nothing.

You’re just about to ask Bucky what he’s feeling when he abruptly stands from the couch and looks right at you, his gaze wild and pupils blown.

“Bucky—” You start, but he cuts you off in an instant.

“I don’t know what was in that flask, but I’ll be fine. I’m not going to sit out here all night.” Bucky’s trying to play it off. He has no fucking idea if he’ll actually be fine, but the newest physiological response his body is having to the chemical isn’t one he wants you to become aware of. He’s aroused. His cock is harder than it’s ever been, and he’d rather sleep outside on the icy road and get run over by Santa’s fucking sleigh then stay this close to you. He worries he won’t be able to control himself if he has to look at you one more time tonight, if he even hears another breath leave your lips, he’ll be done for.

“Bucky, tell me what you’re feeling.” You say softly, pushing your chair away from the table and standing, but not daring to move any closer to where he stands in the living room. He scrunches his eyes closed and presses his vibranium hand to the back of his neck in an attempt to cool the skin there.

“Y/n, I’m going to bed.” He sounds so frustrated. It’s a tone of voice you actually recognize. This is how he used to sound when you’d tease him at the worst times, when you were somewhere that restricted him from being able to touch you, to fuck you.

“Is it what I think it is?” You ask, your voice impossibly quieter than before. Bucky’s eyes snap open now and he studies you. Looking at you makes his dick throb and his balls feel so fucking full and heavy. He closes his eyes again as quickly as he opened them and then, you’re sure. It was a fucking sex pollen.

You don’t dare make a move to stop Bucky when he hurries down the hall and locks himself in his bedroom. You stand frozen in the kitchen for the next two minutes, trying to figure out what the hell you should be doing in a situation like this. You end up doing what you do best: researching. You sit yourself right back down at the table and open your laptop, quickly accessing the online archive of SHIELD research files. You type in every word you can possibly think of to find what you need. Luckily, the first article that pops up is exactly what you needed.

You skim through it at lightning speed, your eyes picking up on the important details. Heightened senses, increases sexual drive ten-fold, may result in permanent disability or death if state of intense arousal is not rectified. Shit, this is bad. You’re wondering how the hell one is supposed to rectify the intense arousal when your eyes land on the most key piece of information in the entire article. Human trials have revealed that allowed the specimen to engage in sexual intercourse is the only successful way to return to a normotensive physiological state.

You have to fuck. You have to convince him to have sex with you. You have to convince the man who broke up with you three months ago to have sex with you. You’ve suddenly decided that you fucking hate your job.

However, you’re not going to sit around while Bucky becomes permanently disabled or lets himself die of exposure to a damn HYDRA sex pollen. So, you slam your laptop shut and march right down the hall. You tap your knuckles against his bedroom door three times, until you hear the bed creak slightly, so you at least know he’s alive. He doesn’t make a single move to answer the door. He’s sitting on the side of the bed, his hands gripping the edge of the mattress so hard that it’ll probably never spring back into shape. His sense of hearing is heightened so much that he can hear every breath you take. He thinks he can even hear the sound of your eyelashes fluttering as you blink.

“Bucky, I did some research.” God, just the sound of your voice might be enough to make him cum in his sweats. Bucky bites his bottom lip and looks down at where his erection is fighting to escape the confines of his sweats. “If this is a sex pollen, which I think we both know it is, it can kill you. The only way to fix this is to…” Your voice trails off, but you don’t have to finish your sentence for Bucky to know what the solution is here. But he won’t ask that of you. He refuses to ask you to sleep with him. He knows he broke your heart three months ago, and he’d be the world’s biggest asshole if he used you for relief now. So, he stays silent. “We could…”

You can’t seem to finish any of your sentences. Why is it so hard for you to say we could fuck. Oh, right. Because you’ve missed the way he fucks for months. Because you know that if he wasn’t under the influence of this chemical right now, he sure as hell wouldn’t be turned on around you. You’d happily have sex with him right now, but he’d only be doing it because he has to do it to survive.

“I know I’m probably the last person that you’d want to be offering this, but I’m offering. I don’t want you to sit in there and die.” You say softly, your voice cracking a little bit on the final word. The last person he’d want to be offering this? Fuck, you have no idea how he really feels, do you? Bucky screws his eyes shut and fights back the urge to throw the door open and tell you how much he fucking loves you, how much he’s missed you. It’s why he broke up with you in the first place. What if something happened one day that turned him right back into the Winter Soldier? What if he ended up on ice again and by the time he came out of cryo, you were dead and gone? He had to break up with you, because he felt like his future was always too unclear to promise it to someone.

“I’m here, Bucky, if you need me.” You whisper, with your forehead pressed against the cool wood of the door. He can tell that you’re hurting for him. It’s why, against his rational mind, he finds himself crossing the room and tugging the door open. When he sees you standing there in the light of the hallway, he can hear that little Christmas tune that you love so much playing in his head. Fuck it.

You’ve barely had a second to realize that Bucky’s just opened the door for you before you feel his hand fist in your hair and he yanks you forward against his chest. His mouth captures yours in a heated kiss. Bucky sucks your bottom lip between his and wastes no time in using his hold on your hair to tilt your head to the side and slide his tongue into your mouth. You act on muscle memory, kissing him the same way you used to every single day. You let his tongue dance around your mouth, but when he begins to pull back you suck on it lightly, earning a groan from him. He tastes just like you remember, and suddenly you want him so badly that for all you know you could have some sex pollen coursing through your veins.

“The last person I’d want to be offering this?” Bucky rasps against your lips, briefly looking into your eyes as he repeats your words in question. “You’re the only person I’d want to be offering this.” He pulls on your hair again, tilting your head further to the side and sucking on the skin right below your ear. Your eyes close as you try to calm your racing heart, reminding yourself that as perfect as this might feel right now, it won’t last.

It takes mere seconds for Bucky to pull you into his room and practically throw you onto his bed. When he crawls over you a second later, it’s like he’s suddenly realized you both still have your clothes on. He stands back up beside the bed and strips quickly, exposing every bit of his fucking heavenly body to you. You don’t even try to choke back the whimper that leaves your lips. Bucky freezes when he hears it. He’s heard it before. He’s heard it in his dreams, ever since you broke up. It’s sort of funny. He never had dreams before, only nightmares. Until he broke up with you, and then he started having dreams about you every night. They’ve replaced nearly every nightmare. Instead of HYDRA being the reason he’s up at night, it’s all you.

You start shimmying out of your pants right there on the bed as you look at Bucky, too impatient to stand up and take everything off like he did. He strokes his cock slowly in one hand, but every time his palm glides over the tip he makes a face like he’s in pain. You know from your brief research that touching himself won’t give him an ounce of relief, it’ll only make things worse. So, once you have your pants off, you reach up and grab his wrist, stopping his stroking, and pulling him closer to the bed. He gets the hint and positions himself on top of you again, spreading your legs apart with his knee before settling between them.

“I’ve missed you.” Bucky coos against the side of your neck, right as you feel the head of his cock brushing against your clit through your already soaked panties. He didn’t mean to say it. He doesn’t want to make the break up any harder for you, but fuck. He’s missed having you under him like this, though in the past you never kept your panties and shirt on when you were under him.

“I’ve been right here.” You respond quietly, letting your hands coast down his sides until you feel the way his back muscles are rigid underneath your palms. He’s restraining himself. “Bucky, you don’t have to hold back.” He sighs deeply and grinds his cock against you, hard. It draws a moan from your lips that’s so needy, Bucky can’t wait any longer. He knows he’s only waited a minute at this point, but he just can’t anymore. He reaches down between the two of you and snags a finger in your panties, deftly pulling them to the side and guiding his cock straight into you without warning. The cry that escapes you isn’t one of pain or surprise, it’s one of pure lust. It might’ve been three months since the last time you had sex, but your body accepts his cock like it never left. There’s no pain, there’s only pleasure as he starts fucking into you slowly. He builds the pace up in mere seconds, speeding up more and more until he’s fucking you so hard and fast that the headboard is snapping against the wall and scratching the paint.

“God, you’re still so fucking tight for me.” He groans, burying himself balls deep inside you. He stays still for a moment, letting your pussy grip his cock like a vice.

“It’s still yours.” You whisper the words against his jawline. When his eyes snap open and stare straight into yours, you know you probably shouldn’t have said it. His pupils are already overly dilated, but they expand a little more as possessiveness flares in his chest. He always loved when you let him know who your pussy belonged to. He fucking loved it.

Wait. The realization hits you both at the same time. He isn’t wearing a condom. As he looks into your eyes, his face falls and your eyes widen. He never once fucked you without a condom on. It was part of his whole no-long-term-commitment thing. He didn’t want to risk an unintentional pregnancy, so he never let himself fuck you raw. When he starts to pull out, you’re quick to wrap your legs around him and lock him in place.

“Don’t.” You plead. You want this. You’ve always wanted this. Bucky bites his bottom lip and closes his eyes, trying to find a single rational thought in his mind. He knows he shouldn’t do this, he knows he should pull out and find a fucking condom. But will he?

The answer is no. He uses what little space you give him between your legs to start thrusting into you again, slower this time, but still every bit as deep as before.

“If you don’t let me pull out…” He starts, but you pull his face down to yours and silence him with a kiss. After a few seconds, he picks up his pace and begins fucking you relentlessly once again, further ruining the paintjob on the bedroom wall behind the headboard.

“I always wanted you to fuck me like this.” You sigh against his lips. You feel Bucky’s entire body tense up as he nears his release, your words egging him on.

“Oh, baby, I always wanted to fuck you like this.” He admits, snapping his hips into yours and getting you that much closer to the edge. As your orgasm threatens to tear through you, something weighs heavy on Bucky’s mind. He wants to cum inside you. He loves you but he’s always told himself he can’t have you, because his future is so unclear, he can’t make promises to you and possibly break them. But…he’s a good guy. If he were to knock you up, he’d do the right thing. The traditional thing. He’d marry you and take such good care of you, of the little family you’d have together. Maybe that’s what he should do. He thinks that maybe if he gets you pregnant right now, it would force him to give you his future, no matter how much it scares him. He’d be so much more concerned with doing the right thing in the present, rather than worrying about what might happen in the future. “Let me cum inside you.”

“You can, Bucky. You can cum inside me.” You moan out, locking your ankles together behind him and pulling him harder against you. He groans and presses another kiss to your lips, but a gentler one this time.

“You’ll have a baby for me.” He doesn’t even phrase it as a question, no, he’s telling you what you’ll do. “You’ll let me get you pregnant, and then you’ll be mine.”

“Fuck…” The curse falls from your lips as bliss surges through you. You can’t even find the words to say what you want to say, which is fuck yes. So, you lay there submissively, with your legs wrapped around him as he fucks every drop of cum that he has into you. Then, you catch your breath while he pulls his cock out of you and slides your panties back over your sore cunt. You even let him pile the pillows beneath your hips and legs, elevating your pelvis to make sure his cum won’t drip back out of you.

Fuck. He really wants to make sure you’re pregnant after this.

TAG LIST (if your user has a line through it, Tumblr wouldn't let me tag you):

@gyokujyn @mrsjoequinn @thealloveru2 @nixxaswrld @ordelixx @sweettae02 @frombkjar @hellfirebabe @edelweissbarnes @sunnyhummingbee @jenniferpendragon @siciliano13 @crist1216 @twlkdead

#bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #mcu #bucky barnes x you #marvel #bucky barnes #the winter soldier #winter soldier #12 days of smut

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aplpaca · 1 year

Text

thinking about how I've seen OCD get talked about now, but haven't really seen many posts that actually explain what it is. And like, obviously people shouldn't get all their info about mental conditions from posts, but u can't deny that internet communities and stuff play a major role in people recognizing and putting names to their own experiences.

But like since the general public has like absolutely no idea of what OCD actually is (no thanks to popular media), and a lot of things I see talking about intrusive thoughts don't mention OCD (either bc they originated in OCD circles or bc intrusive thoughts aren't Exclusive to OCD or for some other reason), there should prob be more explanation put out on what OCD actually consists of.

Which is kinda hard in some ways, bc there are so many ways OCD can present in terms of what "themes" a person experiences, so someone talking about what their themes are might not ring a bell with someone who experiences different ones. But like, the core thing with OCD isn't the presence of certain themes, it's a specific pattern of spiraling thoughts and reactions.

Like. OCD is a mental condition/illness where people experience stressful, unwanted, repetitive thoughts. These are intrusive thoughts are what make up the "obsessions" part of the disorder. In response to these intrusive thoughts, a lot of people will perform certain actions or think certain things in an attempt to neutralize or disprove the threat they represent. These are the "compulsions" part of the condition.

For a more "traditional" example, someone experiencing intrusive thoughts that they might catch a communicable disease may obsessively wash their hands or google their symptoms to try to lessen the anxiety. While someone who is worried they might hurt someone (even though they very much do not want to hurt someone) may avoid being near sharp objects or may avoid the people they're afraid of hurting.

One of the issues with OCD is that performing the compulsions provides short term relief, but in the long term it only strengthens the stress caused by the intrusive thoughts, thus furthering the thought spiral and actively making it worse, to the point where, depending on your themes, you may be (almost) convinced that your intrusive thoughts represent the truth or the inevitable or something permanent.

Intrusive thought themes cam be literally anything, but some of the common ones are stuff like

Questioning your sexuality, gender, etc (what if I'm actually straight/gay/bi/trans/cis/etc?)

Being worried about losing control and hurting yourself or others physically, sexually, emotionally, basically any way (what if I want to kill someone? What if I'm a pedophile? What if I'm an abuser? What if I want to stab myself? Etc)

Fear of becoming or being sick

Worrying something bad will happen to you or people you care about

Worrying about your spiritual beliefs or lack thereof (what if I'm actually Christian? What if I'm actually atheist? What if i don't believe in the faith i ascribe to? Etc)

Worrying about relationship status (what if I don't actually love them? What if they're not "the one"? What if they're cheating? What if *I'm* cheating? Etc)

What if I'm a bad person?

Fear of losing things

Fear of things not feeling right (this is often be related to other themes via magical thinking. ex: if I don't have my things organized Just Right then something bad will happen)

Fear of unreality

Compulsions vary by theme a lot obviously, but some common ones include

Hand washing

Organizing things until they Feel Right

Checking and double checking and triple checking to make sure you did something correctly

Obsessively reviewing your memories to disprove a thoughtor make sure you don't believe something

Arguing against the thoughts in an attempt to disprove them

Testing your mental reactions to a thought or to certain kinds of content, to show yourself you don't actually believe or feel something

Obsessively googling symptoms, testimonies, things related to your thoughts

Obsessive prayer

Repeating phrases, mantras, affirmations, etc in an attempt to make thoughts go away

Avoiding things and situations that set off your intrusive thoughts

Repeatedly asking for reassurance from others ("I'm not being xyz, right?")

But yeah this obviously isn't exhaustive but, just, if this kind of thing sounds familiar, you should probably do some research on OCD, bc while intrusive thoughts can occur with other conditions, the intrusive thought-compulsion spiral is the core of OCD and isn't really a subaspect of depression/anxiety/ptsd/etc. and the treatment and management of OCD can look different from other stuff, so its a good thing to look into.

(Also it's important to keep in mind, esp if you're someone that doesn't have it, that someone's intrusive thoughts Are Not "secret desires" or "repressed urges" or anything the person even remotely wants to act on. Someone having harm-related intrusive thoughts is not at risk of actually acting on them, no matter how worried they are of doing so.)

Anyway this was a long post and I don't have a neat way to wrap it up and also I accidentally added a poll and now can't get rid of it so here's free poll. I'm running on nyquil and a small amount of straight gin (which works very well at numbing a sore throat) rn gnite

#ocd #actuallyocd #actually ocd #intrusive thoughts #my hand is fuckin stiff from typing this all out on my phone rip

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xveenusx · 6 months

Text

Indifference

Paring(s): Rafe Cameron x fem!reader

Summary: Two people who are in love, well he used to be

Authors note: you guys like when I make you cry

Rating: angsty

Warnings: it'll hurt :)

__________________

He was late.

Time was a funny thing. Minutes turned to hours which rolled into days then suddenly months began to blur into years. In that time, people tend to go out and experience things, falling in and out of love, enjoying everything life had to offer.

Yet, I somehow found myself motionless, the spark that once ignited my core had been stifled to a small ember. Life continued to pass by while I remained glued in one place, watching as everyone around me attempted to achieve some form of happiness.

I was once like that. Filled with some much hope for a life with someone I loved, who showed up to support me and believed in my capability, because at one time in my life that was exactly what Rafe was.

Like I said, time was a funny thing. The more time passes with your partner, the more comfortable they seem to get. They stop trying. However, at what point does being comfortable become almost negligent?

Dates were canceled, appointments missed, and important accomplishments forgotten the more time went on. Rafe’s priorities shifted and I went from being the center of his world to being a planet merely circling his gravitational pull.

In his mind, we were forever, so a couple of cancellations here and there and bouts of forgetfulness were nothing in the span of things. I would have agreed had the cancellations not doubled with time or our conversations going from intimate and deep to surface level at best.

He was never home. It was always just me in this large house on figure 8. Suddenly, he went from being the moon and the stars to just a bleak, unforgivable starless night. Cold and dark.

We had met when we were 16 and he was every bit a spoiled little rich boy that had extreme daddy issues, but there was more to him than that. I picked at his defenses until finally they shattered, and I was engulfed by all of him.

He was just different around me and that fact alone left me delighted. It made me feel special, almost stupidly so.

Things between Rafe and his father were already tense enough since Rafe bought a motorbike with the money he was supposed to spend on the generator. Then everything began to snowball out of control from there. He threw himself into his father’s work and when he wasn’t doing that, he was with Kells and Topper doing god knows what and snorting anything he could find.

Despite all of this, Rafe always kept me close and always let me in.

Last year, when Ward had gone with Sarah and John B to South America, and didn’t return, something shifted inside him. His defenses were rebuilt, only this time he left me on the outside, and no matter how hard I tried to break him down brick by brick, nothing worked. He became obsessed with running Ward’s real estate empire better than he ever did.

Rafe was a cold and calculated legacy with a large chip on his shoulder that made him lethal against competing firms. He chewed them up and spit them out.

With every major milestone, it was never enough for him, and like a man possessed he continued to ruthlessly target anyone that had done him wrong. We had everything and yet the bitterness seemed to consume him. He was someone I saw once a day if I was lucky. He always left before I woke up and was never home by the time I went to bed and suddenly we were glorified roommates.

Once upon a time, I would stay up waiting for him with my heart in my hand, hoping to connect in any way. Even if I only had a few minutes to spend with him before he went to sleep, it was enough for me. But, 10 pm became 11 pm which turned into 12 am and so I gave up. My sleep schedule was already a mess as thoughts and insecurities pestered my mind of another woman.

“Any word from him yet? Some of the donors are asking for him?” The question pulls me out of my thoughts and I turn to face my assistant, Rai.

Her question is innocent enough, but I can hear the slight concern in her voice and I know she has her doubts which only serves as another humiliating reminder that Rafe has done this to me repeatedly.

But this was different. He knew how important this charity dinner was to the shelter I opened up for women and children who suffered from domestic violence.

As someone who came from the cut, it was everywhere and so many didn’t have the means to flee and so they were forced to stay and in the most severe instances, die.

Rafe gave me the start-up money as a gift and it was a huge success that I opened several more as well as fund for scholarships for both the mothers and kids. Which is what brings me to now, a charity dinner and auction to help fund said scholarships and pay for all the shelter necessities.

He promised he would be here. It’s important for the donors to see him here seeing as though he donated a huge sum once more and could ease the minds of those who are teetering on the edge. It’s also important to me. This project is mine, something I created and shared with the world and I want to share it with him too.

I want him to celebrate this accomplishment with me and he is nowhere to be found.

“He’ll be here. Rafe promised.” I clear my throat, “He knows how important this is to me.”

Rai gave me a doubtful look and I know that I couldn’t convince her anymore than I could convince myself. The engagement ring that bore my finger instantly weighed a ton.

Glancing down at the large diamond that once meant the promise of everything, stared back at me as nothing more than a simple accessory.

Rafe had proposed and foolishly I believed that it would save us so I said yes.

I stayed and time and time again, the disappointment slowly began to etch away at the childish hope I tried to cling onto until only a dull ache remained.

“Don’t you look lovely?” Plastering a fake smile onto my face, I let out a sheepish laugh as I take in Kiara’s parents.

“Thank you guys so much for coming.” The words ring true but I couldn’t help but feel like I was underwater. My focus is shot and I find myself hardly listening with my eyes darting to the front door every minute or so, desperate to see the man I used to think would never stop loving me.

I float around the room, committed to being a gracious host, because I would not let him take this from me too. Not when he’s taken everything else already. This is the only piece left of me.

My cheeks hurt two hours later from all the fake smiles and my throat burns from the feigned laughing. The sound of my own voice makes me wince.

In those two hours, I felt my confidence slowly get chipped piece by piece as everyone questioned where my fiancé was. And for a moment, I hated him. I truly hated him because even this small piece of heaven I made for myself is tied into him.

Honey, I need to run some numbers with Rafe. Where is he hiding?

Where is the biggest investor? Surely, he’s here, right?

I haven't seen Mr. Cameron. Has he stepped out?

With which I responded,” Work emergency, you know how it is. He’s nothing if not committed.” Considering most of these possible donors run their own large companies, they completely understand but it’s their partners reactions that seem to leave me stunned.

Each had a warm look of understanding dancing in their eyes as I’m sure they’ve used the same excuse time and time again.

I can only take so much. So I excuse myself and glance at the small gold heart shaped watch on my delicate wrist and take note of the time.

There was only 30 minutes left and I haven't gotten so much as a text from him.

A pit began to form where my stomach used to be as I realized once more that he wasn’t coming. As I stood in a packed room, filled with a flurry of activity, surrounded by people, I’ve never felt more alone.

Then my eyes connect with Mrs. Dune, the wife of a finance guru that works alongside Rafe. She was much older than I, having been with her husband for 30 years but she looked even older.

It’s almost as though she can read my thoughts, because she sends me a sad smile as she lets her eyes go to where her husband stands talking to other donors. I haven't seen him talk to her the whole night, instead she’s been standing at his side saying nothing.

I take an uneven breath and my eyes widen in realization. Was this what I had to look forward to? A life sentence of loneliness vacant of any warmth and attention?

Swallowing hard, I force my eyes away and stare at the door. Begging whoever will listen to please, this once, let me be wrong. I’m so in my thoughts that I’m startled when a soft hand lands on my arm.

“You get used to it. Eventually, you’ll feel nothing.” Mrs. Dune says quietly, her eyes moving back to her husband, with a look I can only describe as longing.

That’s the thing. I don't want to get used to it. This isn’t how I want to be loved.

“What you’ve accomplished is amazing. Don’t let him take that away from you.” Was her parting words and she left, not sparing her husband another glance.

When I turn to see if he noticed she left, he’s still engaged in conversations and doesn’t spare her a glance.

This is not how I want to be loved.

“Hey, I’ve been looking for you. This is Amy Park.” Rai looks ecstatic as she introduces me to the stunning tall woman next to her.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Park.” The words come out on instinct.

“I wanted to discuss how open you would be to expanding shelters nationwide?”

And for the first time in awhile, a real smile graces my face as I answer her question.

_____________________

The first thing I notice when I pull into our driveway is the plethora of cars that fill it. The second thing I pick up on is familiar vibrations of music with each step I take along our pathway.

My front door is wide open as people come in and out, clearly under the influence of something and my chest constricts.

This is what he’s been doing? This was more important than me?

Clutching my keys tightly, I welcome the familiar biting against my skin. I recognize many of the faces, most of them having gone to school with Rafe.

If it was any other night, I would have joined them. We were only 22 and yet have lived what seems to be a hundred lives. But, this is different. He’s different.

Climbing up the staircase, I head to the balcony where I hear a familiar boast of laughter.

I cleared my throat. “What’s so funny?”

Heads snap in my direction but my eyes are only on one. One that currently has a short black haired girl nearly in his lap. I recognize her as a bartender at one of the local grills/bars we frequent.

“Don’t you look gorgeous-“ Topper attempts to run interference, but it’s too late. I raise my hand to silence him. I’ve already seen everything I needed too.

His body is positioned slightly in front of them as if I was going to body slam them. I might actually.

“Hey, wait! How did the donor dinner go?” Topper's eyes dart to Rafe’s. “That was tonight right?”

I see the moment everything clicks. His eyes rake down from my newly styled hair to the louboutins in my feet. Everything I wore from the jewelry on my body to the shoes on my feet he bought me, and I’ve never felt more sick.

Rafe clenches his eyes shut as he shakes his head. “Fuck.”

Fuck, indeed.

“Get out of my way, Topper.”

He throws a worried glance to Rafe. “I think maybe-“

“Top, give us a second.” Rafe mutters tensely. He keeps his hard set gaze on me, drilling into me, almost as though he’s daring me to move.

Kelce stands up giving me an apologetic look. “Rafe, man, there’s a bunch of people here.”

I force myself to look away.

“Not right now, Kells.”

He wasn’t wrong. This house was full of people, but the only difference being that none of them matter. Not to me and not to Rafe.

Steady. Keep steady and just breathe.

“So what should I do-“

I look at him. Me or them? It was unsaid but he knew what I was asking him.

“Back the fuck off and give me a fucking second with my girl.” Rafe barks out, running a rough hand through the short cropped strands that brush against his forehead.

Both hold their hands up in mock surrender before shuffling off to the side. The girl doesn’t get up.

Topper coughs. “Sophia.”

Her eyes take me in with clear distaste. Her hand is still dangerously close to Rafe’s waistband. I raise a single eyebrow giving her one last opportunity to move.

She doesn’t. Not when Kelce calls out for her either.

Sophia made her bed. Setting my bag down, I take three big steps before I’m roughly shoving her off the couch sending her sprawling on the floor.

Rafe let’s out a curse but makes no move to help her. At least he’s not stupid.

“Get out.” The words leave no room for negotiation.

The glare she sends me is filled with ice. “I was invited.”

Kelce lets out a groan before whispering,”Is she serious?”

The fake smile I’ve perfected over the years decorated my face as I bent down to her height on the floor.

Flashing my engagement ring in her face. “Get out of my fucking house.”

That seems to shut her up and I watch with narrowed eyes as she struts away, Topper and Kelce in tow.

I can hear my heart pounding in my ears while my chest feels like it’s going to explode. I turn around slowly to face my damnation.

My heels click against the marble floor and with each step I take, the more the ache in my chest grows. Marching up to Rafe, I grab his chin and force him to look at me. Those familiar glacial blue eyes are red. His pupils are blown wide and my chest cracks wide open.

He’s high.

This is not how I want to be loved.

This is what he wanted to do instead of being there for me. Instead of supporting me. Instead of loving me.

Dying would be less painful.

I stare directly into those eyes, searching for an answer, wondering when the love he felt for me slowly became indifference.

I’d almost rather there be a mistress rather than this cold indifference.

“Did you have fun at least?” My words are soft but the intention is anything but.

He says nothing. Instead Rafe studies me like I’m a wounded animal.

Dark. Beautiful. Cruel.

Those are the words I’d use to describe the man in front of me. The gaze that once felt like a soft caress on my skin now felt clinical.

“It seems like you’re having fun.” I quip, flicking the small bag filled with familiar white powder.

I thought I could fix him. I will not make that mistake again.

“I completely forgot-“

“How?” I ask.

His eyes narrow like he’s trying to figure me out. “Work got insanely busy. You know how it is. Even if I own the place, I’m young and the older guys don’t respect me.”

“It was in your work calendar.”

“No, it wasn’t-“

“It was also on your personal calendar and our joint one. I had your assistant send you a reminder email. So my question is how?” My voice wobbled and it was only by a small miracle that I didn’t throw something in his face. “How did you forget the only thing I’ve asked you for?”

Something flickered in his eyes. “It wasn’t intentional. It slipped my mind.”

“Something I worked so hard to accomplish just slipped your mind?” Exhaustion has finally got the better of me and I finally let him see just how much he’s managed to chip away.

“I should have been there for you and I’m so sorry,” His throat flexed a hard swallow. “But there will be other dinners.”

The dull ache in my chest thrummed harder. Rafe was brushing this off, just like he always did. My skin flushed.

At my silence, he braces his elbows on his knees and leans forward, tracking my every move. “I feel like you’re not understanding me.”

“No, I understand you just fine. It just wasn’t important enough for you.”

He stilled. “That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

Of course it wasn’t what he meant but he’s managed to make me feel so insignificant. So small.

“I know that you’ve canceled most of our dates for work. Even an anniversary once. I know that you missed the grand opening of the shelter that I spent a year and half planning.” I force the words out, each breath I take feeling like needles. “I asked for this one thing, Rafe and you couldn’t even give me that.”

“What about everything I have given you? This house, the car you drive in, the clothes on your back, the boat?”

It’s like I’m staring at 16 year old Rafe again. To him, material things were the equivalent to love. He couldn’t be farther from the truth.

I find that I was much happier when I had little to nothing, than I am now, sitting here with everything, in my gown and jewels.

“I didn't ask for any of those things.” By the stubborn gleam in his eyes, I knew he was going to fight me on everything.

Lately, his tactic was always combative and it was easier to give in or to not say anything at all.

“No, but you took them all the same. I fucked up, I get that. I know what this shelter means to you, but that doesn’t change the fact that you wouldn’t even have it if it weren’t for me.”

A familiar buzzing filled my ears. His words were ugly but they weren’t a lie. Even my project was his. I had nothing of my own.

I wonder how many other people came to the same revelation. Maybe that’s why so many of them asked where he was? Because this accomplishment wasn’t mine, no clearly it was his.

There is not enough room in my chest for the ache he caused.

Words can’t seem to make it to my lips. I think my brain has finally broken and realizes that no words I say will get him to change.

Smoothing out my dress, I stand on shaky legs before kicking off my heels. He can keep them. With that, I leave him out on the porch and make a beeline towards our his room.

Opening the closet doors, I reach for the suitcase before setting it on the bed. I wasn’t going to be like Mrs. Dune and waste away beside a man that used to love me, hoping that one day he will once more.

“What the fuck are you doing?” The words are hard and low.

Rafe stands at the door, his arms crossed over his chest. His face is brewing with several emotions I can't quite place.

It was funny. I haven't seen this much emotion from him in months.

I ignore him and toss some clothes from my dresser into the open suitcase, making sure to grab only the clothes I needed.

I slowly take off each piece of jewelry and set it on my vanity. He can keep everything he so gloriously mentioned he bought.

“You loved me once.” I state, tilting my head to the side. I rake over every detail of his face, knowing I’ll never forget it.

I loved him once too.

His face morphed to one of confusion before disbelief. “I still love you. That’s never changed.”

I shake my head. “Yes, it has.”

Rafe stalks towards me, his hand reaching to burl around my neck while the other pulls me to him by my waist. Familiar cologne fills my lungs and I count to ten mentally. It was the same cologne I bought him when we first started dating.

“I work too much, I know. That’s my fault and I’ll cut back. I’ll be home more and we can spend time together. I’ll do better.” Taking my chin between two fingers, he forces my eyes to his. I see the sincerity in his eyes but I know how this goes.

The same way it’s gone the last two times. He’ll beg me to stay, promise to change, and things will be good for a month before he slowly starts missing dates or canceling trips we’ve planned months before. Then the cycle repeats.

“No.” It was time to love myself. Since he clearly couldn’t do it. I will not allow myself to get lost in him again.

“Baby, just wait. Will you wait-“ He huffs as I try to move around him. No such success as his towering body has me moving back and suddenly I’m caged in by his arms. “Just give me a second, okay?”

“I’ve given you years. I won’t give you another second.”

“Talk to me.” His voice breaks. “Please just talk to me.”

Longing filled my body. Words I’ve been waiting to hear for months come so easily to him, but only when I already have one foot out the door.

“I’m alone.” The words come out strangled. “ I’m alone in this. I have been for a long time.”

“What do you mean? Baby, I’m right here.” Rafe’s gripping onto me tighter, almost like he’s ensuring I don’t leave. “I’m right here.”

“You're never here. That’s exactly my point.”

Rafe’s eyes widen before he shakes his head wildly, staring at me like I’m speaking another language. “That’s not true-“

“What’s today?”

“What?”

“What’s today?” I repeat, my eyes never leaving his. I want to see every emotion that storms in his eyes, just to remind myself that he is capable of emotion after all.

“Friday.”

I smile at him sadly. Exactly my point. “I haven't seen you since Tuesday.”

“No, that can’t be right. I was with you when we had lunch with-“ He breaks off, reaching for his phone in his pocket. I watch as he pulls up his calendar, an action that mortifies me, and confirms our scheduled date.

“Tuesday.” He whispers, shocked even.

I wasn’t. Rafe had to check his calendar to confirm that last time he’s seen his fiancé.

“You used to come bring me lunch. If you were more than a couple hours, you always found your way to me or gave me a call that you’ll be late.” I shrugged, blinking back the tears stinging my eyes. “Now, I don’t think I’d get a call if you were in the hospital.”

The buzzing in my ears intensifies.

“You didn’t tell me any of this. None of how you were feeling and you're ready to walk out the door without so much as an argument.” A spark of my old Rafe appears as frustration dances across his face.

“I should have-“

“You’re giving up.” He states, shaking his head in anger.

Maybe I was. “I’m tired of fighting for us. You gave up a long time ago.”

Large hands curl around my cheeks, pulling me towards his face. Rafe rests his forehead on mine, his piercing blue eyes darting across my face in panic.

“I love you. I love you.” He knows he’s grasping at straws, but we feel like strangers now. The words don’t feel like they used to. “You know I love you.”

“This isn’t how I want to be loved, Rafe. I see you every couple days, the only time we’re ever together is when we have sex.” We lost sight of how we once were. The only thing that remained good between us was sex.

That alone isn’t healthy. He goes to open his mouth but I cut him off.

“We never talk and when we do, you don’t even listen to me. Your brain is always somewhere else.”

“I’m in a relationship with a ghost. I’m not letting you suck the life out of me anymore.” My eyes catch the sparkling ring that once brought me such happiness. Now, it simply feels like a ball and chain.

Before I can convince myself otherwise, I start to tug it off my finger when Rafe truly begins to panic.

“Don’t do that. Please don’t do that.” I try to hand it to him but Rafe jolts back like he’s been burned. The look he gives my empty hand is nothing short of destroyed.

I think I’m going to throw up. His words are laced with raw grief that makes it hard for me to breathe.

“Put it back on.” I hear the slight tremble in his voice.

“No.” My lips wobble.

“Please put it back on because if you don’t that means we’re over. That’s not us. We aren’t supposed to end.”

“Rafe, don’t make this any harder than it already is.”

“You’re ripping my fucking heart out of my chest. This isn’t anywhere near hard, it’s excruciating.” Rafe’s hand is notably shaking, but he tries to hide it by clenching and unclenching his palms.

“Welcome to the last year of my life.” The words are brutal but he needs to hear them.

“You promised me we’d never end.”

“You promised to change. I guess we both lied.”

Rafe raises his voice, his arms thrown up in the air in clear distress, “How can you just stand there?”

It was a miracle I haven’t collapsed on my shaky legs yet. The adrenaline pumping though my veins was the only thing getting me through this torture. “Rafe, stop it.”

“You talk about indifference?” Rafe lets out a humorless laugh, shaking his head up at the ceiling. “Who’s heartless now, baby?”

“You don’t get to put this on me. I’ve given you years of my life, showered you with nothing but love and support. I asked for one night, one fucking night, in your busy schedule and you didn’t bother to show up, or send a simple text.” I intake a sharp breath, pushing the hair out of my face with a shaky hand. “Instead, you threw a party in our home and got high.”

I point a finger at his chest, staring at him with open heartbreak. “I needed you,” The tightness in my chest finally pops as I choke on a loud sob, “I needed you and you weren’t there.”

“I lost sight of what’s important to me. I’m just trying to give you everything-” I cut him off.

Grabbing the clothes I haphazardly tossed in the suitcase, ”You want this? Take it,” I shove them into his chest, “Take all of it. I don’t want it. I’d give this all away in a heartbeat if it meant I could have you back.”

I meant every word. I wanted my best friend back, the person I confided in and depended on. I wanted our late nights back watching trashy reality TV. We used to sit in the bathtub together basking in each other's company. Went on walks along the beach or took the boat out for hours, fucking on the deck, not caring that anyone could see.

It used to be simple. He loved me and I loved him.

“I’m angry, baby.I’m so damn angry all the time. At my fucking dad for always having these impossible expections. Then he goes and dies, leaving me without a clue on how to manage everything.” Rafe sags against the wall, exhaustion marring his features, his blue eyes pleading for me to understand. “I feel like I’m drowning all the time.”

I had no idea this was how he was feeling. But, he never let me in. “You could have told me, we’re supposed to be partners in this. You asked me to marry you!”

I think deep down I know that he felt me slipping through his fingers at one point. He could see clearly how unhappy I’ve become and that’s why he proposed. And maybe just like him, I thought the proposal could fix us. This proposal was being manipulated on both ends, it was doomed from the start.

You can’t fix what’s already broken.

“My head has basically been a war zone and I’m losing. The only thing keeping me sane is that I know, when I walk through that door,” he points to our bedroom door, “I’m going to find you in our bed. Every. Single. Night.”

“I can’t let the ugly touch you.” My heart splits into two at his words. Words I know feel like acid leaving his mouth. “You’re the only thing I have left.”

“Then you should have taken better care of me. You should have let me take care of you.”

“Fuck,” He screams, bending down and swiping the lamp clean of the nightstand. The lamp goes flying into the wall, shattering into hundreds of pieces and my eyes are drawn to them. I can’t help but think it reminds me of us.

Dragging my eyes back to his, I fight the urge to wrap him in my arms. Seeing him in pain has never brought me joy, but this was brutal. His eyes shined with unmistakable tears, realizing the strength of my resolve.

There was no going back this time. There was no trying again. I didn’t have another try in me.

I grip onto the fabric of my dress moving towards him, my heart pounding out of my chest. He moves instantly, holding out his hand to guide me over the shattered lamp. Why couldn’t he be like this months ago?

Why did he let it get this bad? Why couldn’t he love me?

Now, standing in front of him, I let myself one deep breath, basking in the comforting smell of him. A large hand curls around my neck, his grip strong and firm, demanding my attention. His blue eyes are daunting and so intense, I find myself fighting the urge to look away.

“I’m going to get you back.”

”Take it, Rafe.” I whisper, uncurling his limp hand, “Take it. It doesn’t mean what I want it to.”

Tears blur my vision as I fumble with the ring he refuses to take.

Rafe shakes his head, clenching his jaw tightly. “There’s no point in taking it off if it’s gonna go right back there in a couple weeks. ”

I can’t help but smile at the determination in his voice. He sounds like the old Rafe and for a second I see a glimmer of who he used to be.

He had me. Then he lost me.

This is not how I want to be loved.

“If spending the next few months without you means that I get to spend a lifetime with you, I can manage. I’ll do whatever I have to. But don’t think for a second that there is anyone else on this entire fucking planet meant for you.”

That’s how I want to be loved. Too little too late.

I drop the ring.

#outer banks #outer banks imagine #obx #rafe cameron #outerbanks rafe #rafe angst #rafe x reader #rafe smut #rafe obx #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe cameron angst #rafe cameron x reader #drew starkey #drew starky angst #outer banks fanfiction #outerbanks angst #obx angst #rafe cameron smut

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bunnyreaper · 7 months

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kinktober 8 - breeding

simon riley x reader

(18+/mdni, breeding kink ofc hehe, just a little thing today <3)

for a man that doesn't want kids, simon riley sure has a breeding kink. simon swears on his life he doesn't want kids. not now, maybe not ever, a stance you've never had a major issue with. but considering his firm line in the sand, he always tries to knock you up anyway.

the first time you fucked had been a whirlwind of post mission adrenaline and raging lust, and you hadn't even stopped to consider the consequences--neither had simon. he was pushing in his girthy cock and fucking you deep before you could even think to ask for a condom, and he fucked you so good you didn't stop to care when his cock kissed your cervix and painted your insides.

after that, he didn't even bother offering to wear a condom, after the contraception and disease talk. why lose out on cumming inside? he just had to stuff you full.

sometimes he'd fuck you until you're a babbling mess, cumming hard and deep inside and then continuing to fuck his cum back in you, not letting a single drop escape. on one lucky occasion, he even came again, cock covered in his own essence as he filled you to the brim with his sticky cum.

his desires had escaped him mid session once, lost in your silky depths as he started to babble about how he needed to breed tha' pretty lil cunt and how he wasn't letting you go until he made you leak him down your fuckin' thighs.

and then it became an obsession, despite the low risk and the lack of desire, he seemed almost determined to fuck a baby into you--like he was testing your birth control, filling you up whenever he could. keeping track of your cycle so he could remind you, balls deep in mating press and eyes glued to yours, that it was your most fertile part of your cycle and that your body was just begging for his cum.

sometimes he'd even lose it just a little, chastising you for anything anything that might affect your fertility, anything that could ruin your chances of bearing his child. for a man that doesn't want kids, simon riley took breeding you very seriously.

#i love how kinktober for me is just a short series of rambles #with the occasional fic thrown in #but today isnt one of those days IM SORRY <3 #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost x reader #ghost call of duty #call of duty x reader #call of duty fanfiction #kinktober

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blakelywintersfield · 2 years

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‎

#cw for eating disorder stuff i guess?#oh the absolute irony that consistently consumes my entire being and existence #i used to count calories to limit my intake so i'd start to lose weight #now i'm counting calories to make sure i'm eating *enough*‚ because my weight has dropped significantly in a matter of a month #and while i want that weight loss to continue‚ if i don't eat *enough* calories‚ it exacerbates my rheumatoid arthritis #on top of that‚ aside from a goiter‚ i display all the major symptoms of hyperthyroidism.#and with me having RA‚ i'm at an increased risk of developing *other* immune disorders. so it's not out of the question.#but if i *do* have hyperthyroidism‚ the medication to address it will stop the weight loss. which i don't want. but i'll need to take it.#because long term effects of untreated hyperthyroidism can cause osteoporosis‚ heart problems‚ and vision problems #all of which i have family history of‚ along with being born with two heart conditions. i'd need to address it.#but the medication to treat it also has a common result of weight gain. and i don't want that. i don't want to gain any more weight.#i'm finally losing weight. i'm finally‚ FINALLY under 200lbs. i haven't been under 200lbs for YEARS. i'm almost in the 170 range.#i don't want to stop losing weight. and i especially don't want to gain any weight.#i'm honestly hoping the test results come back negative. maybe it's just a combination of my RA and working more or something idk #i would avoid getting tested altogether but between the long term health impacts of untreated hyperthyroidism and the hair loss #i have to. like i have to rule it out as a cause for the hair loss‚ along with my DHT levels. i just. ugh.#my urges to kill myself are finally under control‚ and now 5 other health issues have taken it's place.#i'm so tired man. i just want to exist at ease. i just want to function normally. i'm so tired of having to fight every day.

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bunnylovesani · 4 months

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A Rough Ride

Summary: Getting fucked in Anakin’s car. That’s about it.

Content Warnings: MDNI, major daddy issues/kink, p in v sex, degradation, mean dom/sub dynamic, spanking, fingering, slapping, cum play, facial, aftercare

WC: 1.8k

Hearing critical comments about your controversial relationship with a man 20 years your senior was nothing you weren’t used to. After several months, you’d acclimated to the jokes about how you must have daddy issues and how he must be a creep; the bottom line was that you loved Anakin and he loved you, the rest was just noise and it didn’t bother you in the slightest.

It was a whirlwind romance- a glance shared across a late-night bar led to a steamy night in a dirty motel room which led to the following 6 months of sex-fuelled fun. Guys your age just didn’t know how to fuck the way you needed to be fucked- you needed a man of experience, a man of skill.

That’s how you ended up bent over the backseat of his Ferrari, face pressed firmly against the leather interior while he roughly pounded into your cunt. You couldn’t muster up anything besides the occasional cry of “Harder daddy, please!” and “Mm, ’s so good…” and he chuckled dryly at the way you fell apart on his cock.

“Harder baby? You sure? I don’t wanna ruin this pretty pussy.” He hardened his grip on your hips, self-control slipping.

“Yesyesyes- please daddy ruin me.” You babbled, drool leaking down the side of your face and ruining your makeup.

“Alright darling, you got it.” He muttered under his breath, sloppy thrusts getting rougher and faster. “You’re such a daddy’s girl, aren’t you baby?”

You nod and let out a little “mhmm!”, chewing your bottom lip raw.

“Daddy’s good girl…y’know what happens to good girls?” He asks you, smacking the palm of his hand against your ass cheek. “Good girls get to cum.”

You whine and claw at the upholstery, knot in your tummy growing.

“Stop whining or I’ll give you something to whine about.” He growls and you look back at him in confusion, pretty doe eyes staring pitifully up at him.

“Good girls also shut up and take it.” He lifts his hips and buries his cock to the hilt, abdomen firmly smacking against you. You scream at the extra inches he’s given you and his movements come to a standstill; he usually restrains himself because he knows you can’t take his whole cock but he must be in a brutal mood today.

“I’m gonna start moving now, and if you can take it- I’ll let you cum. If you can’t, you’re gonna get on your knees instead. Understood?”

You nod, tears pricking at your eyes. You wanted to cum so badly but you weren’t sure if you could take such a rough pounding with his full length.

Slowly, he moves his hips back before pressing into you, tip kissing your cervix. You bite your fist and bury your forehead into the seat, trying so hard to be a good girl and not make a sound but after almost an hour of relentless pummeling, you were at the end of your rope.

“Good, stay nice and quiet f’me.” He grumbles as he begins to go harder, near-silent squeaks escaping your wet lips. You begin to slide your way out of his grip, distancing yourself away just a little to ease the pressure.

“Come back here.” He grabs your hips and impales you right back onto his dick with a stubborn grunt. Teeth marks form on your clenched fist and a wet spot pools on the back seat, spit connected between the puddle and your parted mouth. The feeling of him so deep in your guts is deliciously agonising and you can’t help but to give in and let him fuck you like you’re his sex toy. Once you stop fighting the intrusion, pleasure comes over you in intense waves, beads of sweat trickling down your back as you tremble. Squeaks of discomfort are replaced with quietly guilty moans of pleasure and it doesn’t go unnoticed by Anakin.

“Listen to me, you little slut.” He rakes his hand up the back of your head, firmly gripping your hair and roughly bringing you up to him. “You better not cum yet.” Your brows upturn and eyes glisten in a pleading countenance. “If you do, there will be consequences.” He warns you with a mischievous smirk, almost hoping you disobey him so he can have fun making you regret it.

You want to listen to him with every fibre of your being but you have no control over your own body when he’s fucking you like this. With an aggressive push, you’re thrown back onto the seat and you grip the side of it so hard you leave scratches all over the leather. Scrunching your face up, you feel yourself failing- disobeying his order as you’re pushed over the edge to your release. You try to stay still hoping he won’t notice but the way you clench around his cock, making it glisten with your creamy arousal is a dead giveaway.

“Oh now you’ve done it.” He scowls and pulls out suddenly, making you tense up in anticipation of your punishment. “Get on your knees.”

You uncurl out of the ball you’ve scrunched yourself into and follow his command, positioning yourself between his legs.

“I’m gonna cum all over that pretty whore face of yours.” He grabs the base of his dick and strokes himself, maintaining eye contact as he jerks off to the image of your angelic face.

You stick your tongue out as he comes undone, hot cum squirting out and landing all over your mouth and cheeks. You giggle happily as he rubs his spent cock around, letting you lick up the creamy mess. He comes closer and grabs you by the cheeks with one hand, rubbing his cum all over them before smacking you suddenly with an open palm.

“You like getting slapped around by a man twice your age?” He hits you again, firmly enough to leave your cheeks reddened but not so hard that it stings. He saves that for when you’re really bad.

Nodding, you beam with glee as you raise yourself off your knees, wanting to cuddle up to him like you usually do once you’re done but he stops you.

“Oh no, sweetheart. That wasn’t your punishment. Bend over my lap.” He tucks himself into his trousers and zips them back up before leaning back to allow you to take your position. Somewhat confused, you follow his lead and prop yourself over his legs, ass perched up in the air. His warm calloused hand glides over your ass and you hum contentedly, relishing in his touch. Abruptly, a loud smack is heard and your cheeks jiggle with the tremor of his strike.

“A-am I getting spanked, Ani?” You choke out in shock.

“Yes, you are baby. This is what happens when you misbehave. Daddy has to discipline you.” He calmly explains as he slaps you again, a little harder this time. You feel his hand trailing down to your pussy, fingers rubbing against the slit before slipping down to your throbbing clit. You’re so sensitive that you start squirming in his lap- a move he quickly puts an end to when his big-knuckled hand presses harshly against your back- pinning you down like you were an unruly kitten.

He leans over until his face is hovering above your ass before spitting a thick glob of saliva over your pussy, the drool seeping down to your hole. He groans as he smears it around before pushing two fingers into your throbbing hole, already sore from being fucked raw.

“Aniii…” You moan, burying your face into your hands as a sudden wave of shyness comes over you.

“What’s the matter, baby? You don’t like daddy makin’ you feel good?” He coos as he fucks you with his fingers, lewd squelching sounds filling the steamy car. “What’s wrong, my angel?”

“N-nothin’ daddy, it’s just- mm- too much!” You pant, head swirling.

“You can take it baby, you’re my big strong girl, aren’t you?” He murmurs softly and you huff breathily. Another slap lands on your rosy cheeks as he curls his fingers deeper, “Aren’t you?”

“Yes, daddy, yes- I can take it!” You sniffle, trying to compose yourself but the way he’s stretching you out coupled with the salty taste of his cum on your tongue has your concentration in tatters.

“Aw, you just need someone to take care of you, don’t you baby?” You sob out “mhmm!” in response and feel another orgasm coming on- he’d made you cum so many times you’d lost count.

“Daddy’s gonna take care of his baby.” He rubs the small of your back comfortingly while his fingers plunge in and out of you, pushing you over the edge into your release. You whine and wail as your thighs shake and he shushes you soothingly until you calm down- limp body collapsed over his lap.

“C’mere baby.” He opens his arms and you jump into them, wrapping your arms urgently around his neck.

“Woah darling, you okay?” He places his broad hand on the back of your head, tucking you into his warm chest.

“Y-yeah. I’m just- ugh!” You choke out frustratedly, tears streaming down your face from how overwhelmed you felt.

“Shh baby, shh- I know.” He coddles you and you let yourself sob into him. He made you feel such strong emotions you didn’t know how to handle them- so you often curled up into his lap and unravelled after a particularly intense round.

“How does some hot chocolate, your favourite movie and a fort of blankies and plushies sound?” He lightly nudged his nose against yours and you perked up instantly.

“Sounds amazing, Ani.” Your heart warmed with how he cared for you, it was unlike anything you’d ever had before.

“We just need to get through this first.” He rubs any remnants of cum off your face with his sleeve, smoothing your frizzy hair down with his other hand. “We kinda chose an inopportune moment for this…”

You poke your head up and remember your surroundings- you’re parked in a dark alley around the corner from Anakin’s house. His friends and family had gathered for a Christmas dinner being hosted at his place and it was meant to be your first time meeting most of them. Glancing into the front view mirror, you gasped at the sight: your makeup was utterly ruined- mascara smudged, lipstick smeared and your hair looked like you’d been dragged through a bush.

“Ani! How ‘m I supposed to meet them like this?” You mewled, wanting desperately to make a good first impression considering the controversy and disapproval that surrounded your relationship.

“I don’t know baby, you should’ve thought about that before you started acting like a little brat.” He shrugs, opening the car door and stepping into the crisp winter air. “You coming?” He held his hand out with a self-satisfied smirk, eager to show off the mess he’d made of you.

Taglist:

@crazy4hotmen @erinkeifer @mortalheartache @arzua10 @mugwump327 @offthethirlwall @bby-imasociopath @slvttedoutmars @emmalandry

#anakin skywalker #hayden christensen #star wars fanfiction #anakin skywalker smut #anakin skywalker fanfiction #anakin x reader #anakin x you #anakin fanfiction #star wars smut #hayden christensen fan fiction

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gingerbloof · 5 months

Text

Good Boy (sub!astarion x fem soft dom!reader)

contents: MAJOR 18+ MDNI, plotless smut, mentions of safe word however not used, slight mentions of past trauma, sensative elf ears, use of toys and lube, ass play/pegging (male receiving), dry humping, nipple play, oral (male receiving), male masturbation, orgasm denial, praise, precum, sweet fluff at the end

word count: 3,070

The thought had been drifting in his mind for a while, ever since the night he shared with you in the graveyard. Claiming back your body and growing comfortable with intimacy again was one thing, but this? This was going to take a lot of trust… And a lot of patience.

The thought and conversation of you taking control in the bedroom had come up quite a few times, not only because it intrigued you, but Astarion wanted nothing more than to experience something new with you. The only issue was his past. He was afraid taking on a more submissive role would remind him of his years with Cazador…

But, he knew he could trust you. He knew that you wouldn’t do anything to push him past his limits, unless of course he asked for it. You have even discussed a system for it; a special word he would use if he needed a break or if he changed his mind. A smile flit across his face. He felt so safe and secure with you… And he knew that he wanted to do this, as long as you were comfortable as well.

He walked into your shared bedroom to find you in a black silky night slip, long enough to reach to your mid thigh. There was a slit in one of the sides, revealing more of your beautiful, soft skin. You were curled up on the bed reading a book. The faint glow of the candles in the room illuminated you beautifully…

Gods, you were perfect.

He felt his cock harden at the sight of you. He took a small breath, nervousness starting to fill in his chest. He walked toward the bed and tried to keep his usual composure. “Hello, my sweet,” He said in his usual honeyed voice, and walked toward the bed.

You looked up and grinned at him. You always looked so happy to see him, it made his undead heart swell with delight. “Hi, my star!” As you looked at him you could notice he was nervous, despite the front he was putting on. You marked your page in your book and set it on the nightstand, sitting up. “Is something the matter?” You asked.

If he had a pulse, he knew it would be quickening right now. Not only because he was nervous to ask you, but because of how much he loved you. You always knew exactly what was wrong, even when he tried hiding it. He smiled and sat down next to you and placed his icy cold hand on your thigh. “I’ve been doing some thinking…” He started, looking into your eyes. “And I think… I would like to try that… Thing we’ve been talking about.”

You took his hand in yours and looked back into his eyes. “Really? Are you sure? Because I don’t want you to feel forced or pressured, my love,” You said, squeezing his hand gently.

He smiled as he felt a couple of small tears swell in his eyes. He couldn’t help it… This is exactly why he trusted doing this with you, because of how safe you made him feel. He took your hand in his as well and nodded. “I want you to have all of me, darling. Even my vulnerable sides. I trust you with everything in me.” You grinned as you leaned forward and pressed your lips to his. He returned the kiss happily, cupping your face in his hands, the warmth of your skin filling his entire being. He craved you, more than you could ever know.

The kiss soon turned from soft and gentle to deep and greedy. Your tongue swept across his lower lip and he allowed you access. Your tongue danced around his and you started to crawl on top of him, straddling him. He made a small moan as he felt you push against his almost painfully hard cock. He could feel beads of precum soiling his trousers as you kissed along his jaw, and eventually his neck. He put a hand on the back of your head, relaxing into you. A whimper left his lips as you gently nipped at his pale skin, leaving small love marks on his pale flesh.

You slowly lifted up his shirt looking up at him, silently asking for permission. He nodded and you lifted it over his head. He felt your eyes scan over his body, love and lust filling both of your senses. Your thumb slowly reached out to draw slow gentle circles around one of his nipples. He gasped softly and bit his lower lip, trying to hold back his moans. You noticed this and smiled sweetly at him as you leaned forward to whisper into his ear. “It’s okay, my love. Make all the sounds you want, there’s no need to hide,” Your voice was a soft purr in his ear and he grunted, not budging. You smirked and laid soft kisses along his ear, earning you another gasp and a whimper.

“Sensitive here, are we?” You asked playfully, taking the curve of his ear between your lips and sucking on it gently. You continued to tease his nipple and pressed your thigh in between his legs. He shuddered under you, gripping onto your shirt. The pleasure was absolutely insane, and you had barely even started. His cock throbbed against your thigh as he started to unconsciously buck his hips against it. You chuckled softly as you kissed your way down his body. You took one of his hardened nipples into your mouth and sucked gently, swirling your tongue against the sensitive bundle of nerves.

Astarion’s breath hitched in his throat, his back arching slightly. “D-Darling, that feels… Too good,” He moaned, earning a moan of approval from you. You lifted your head up to look him hungrily in the eyes, a smirk on your face. “We’ve only just begun, my love.” You purred.

You kissed further down his body and tugged down his trousers, his cock springing free from their grip. It was standing perfectly upright and throbbing, precum trickling down the shaft. You bit your lip at the sight, feeling your own arousal growing. But that can wait, right now his pleasure was your priority.

You gently took a hold of him in your hand and pulled back the skin, revealing his pulsating tip. You locked eyes with him as you agonizingly slowly swirled your tongue around his tip, lapping up his precum. He bit his knuckle and his chest heaved, staring down at you working your magic. “P-Please, darling…” He whimpered. “Y-Your mouth… Please.”

You felt the pool of heat in your stomach grow, molten lava burning at your core. The sight of him quivering at your touch and the sound of him begging was so arousing. Almost as arousing as when he takes control of you. You stop the movement of your tongue and he whines, bucking his hips slightly trying to fuck himself in your hand. You let go and smirked. “Be patient, my love,” You purred. “Tell me exactly what you want.”

His whines were music to your ears. The vision before you could put the finest artists of Faerún to shame. His pleading eyes, his failure at trying to hide his sounds of desperation, his rock hard throbbing cock… He was beautiful.

“I-I… I want my cock in your mouth,” He pleaded breathlessly. “Please, darling… I can’t take it anymore.” You smile as you lean back down and take his cock in your palm once more. The words you spoke next are what you’ve been wanting to say for a while, and you knew it would send Astarion over the edge.

“Good boy.”

A shocked, but aroused sound came from his mouth before you parted your lips and took his length into your mouth. He moaned loudly at the sudden sensation and threw his head back, gripping the bed sheets underneath him. You sucked gently and swirled your tongue around his length, bobbing your head, taking more and more of him into your throat.

Thankfully because of your nights together in camp, your gag reflex has decreased, so you could confidently take him all the way into your throat no problem. Your head slowly slid down the rest of the way and stayed still, letting him enjoy the warmth and wetness of your throat. You also stick out your tongue to ensure every inch of him is deep inside your throat.

He is a whimpering, pleasing mess. Watching you take his entire cock so effortlessly makes him throb inside your throat. He wants nothing more than to take back his power and grab your hair and fuck himself in your throat, but he resists, he wants you to make him feel good.

You suck around him as you bob your head up and down, a bit faster this time, making sure to take all of him in your throat at every pass. He moans loudly and grips the sheets tighter, tearing it a bit. His hips start to thrust, matching your pace. You can taste more precum flowing from his tip and his cock swells even more in your mouth. You can tell he’s about to come undone.

“F-Fuck!” He cried out. “Tav you’re gonna make me-“ You suddenly pulled off of him, leaving a thick trail of spit and precum connecting from his cock to your mouth. You smirked greedily at him as he whined pathetically. “W-Why.. Didn’t you..” He whimpered, his chest heaving with every breath. His cock looked as if one touch would make it explode. It twitched violently in the air, begging for release. You chuckle softly as you crawl atop of him once more, kissing him sweetly on the forehead.

“I’m not quite done with you yet, my heart,” You purred. You got off of him as you went to your nightstand, grabbing a bottle of lube. “You wanted to do… Everything we discussed, right, Star?” You asked, turning to him. He took a deep breath and nodded eagerly. “Yes,” He replied. You smiled. “On your hands and knees for me then,”

He quickly obeyed, getting on his hands and knees and arching his back, letting you have full access to him. You sat behind him and gripped his ass cheeks firmly, nibbling on your bottom lip. “You remember what to say if you want to stop, right, Star?” You asked, starting to get your index finger lubed. “Y-Yes, my love,” He replied. You smiled and kissed the back of one of his thighs. “Very good boy,” You purred, your praise earning you an eager moan from the beautiful vampire before you.

You made sure to get your finger very well lubricated. You were quite nervous because you’ve only ever done such a thing to yourself, but you figured it couldn’t be too different.

You slowly circled Astarion’s asshole with your finger, making sure he was nice and relaxed. It twitched under your touch and Astarion let out a long breath. “That’s it, my star, just relax,” You praised, gently rubbing his leg with your other hand. Once you felt his hole was nice and relaxed, you slowly started to ease your finger inside, only until your first knuckle. He moaned softly as he stretched around you, and quivered. You stopped to give him some time to get used to it.

“How does that feel?” You asked soothingly. His legs quivered as he stuttered. “P-Please… More,” You smirked and hummed softly. “I want to hear you beg more, sweetheart. Can you do that for me?” You purred. He whined and arched his back more, trying to sink himself more into your finger. “M-My love, please… I need you… inside me,” You could tell he was embarrassed, but you could also tell how much he liked it. A fiery desire was growing in his crimson eyes and it made you hunger more and more for him.

“Of course, my love. Just tell me if it’s too much, okay?” You said sweetly as you pushed your finger inside him further, nice and slow. Soon enough your finger was all the way inside of him. He stretched so nicely around you, and you couldn’t help but wonder how much he could take… You supposed you would find out soon enough.

You reached underneath him with your free hand and took his cock in it, starting to slowly jerk him off. You moved your finger at the same pace; nice and slow. His breath quickened and he buried his face in the pillow, moaning out loudly. “Gods, yes!” He cried out. “Please, darling… More,”

Fuck…

The way he begged for more grasped something in you, a side of you that you didn’t even know you had. Your pace quickened, making sure to curl the finger inside of him to reach his special spot.

“Want another one?” You asked, reaching over to give the small of his back a small kiss, making sure not to touch the scar on his back. He nodded eagerly. “Yes, darling. Please,” He replied, frustration filling his voice. You pulled out just enough to line your middle finger up along with your index. You made sure to add some extra lube before slowly pushing the two fingers inside, once again waiting a moment to let him stretch around you.

Suddenly he let out a loud groan of frustration and started to move his hips into your fingers, fucking himself. You were slightly taken aback at this, but decided to take this moment to show who was in power here. You grabbed his hip and kept him still while you started to pump your dexterous fingers in and out of him.

He gripped the bed sheets tightly as he whimpered and shook with pleasure. He never knew he could feel anything like this before, and the fact that you were the one doing it made it that much better. Soon enough he could feel his orgasm slowly approaching.You could feel this as well, as his hole and cock were twitching violently. You slowly withdrew your fingers and got off the bed. He whined loudly in protest.

“D-Darling this is torture… Please just let me-“ His words were cut off as he saw you grab something from the nightstand; a double sided toy with a strap. It wasn’t too thick, or too long, but it was perfect to fit inside both of you easily. The strap was to keep it from slipping, which could very well easily happen since you were so wet. He bit his lip at the sight and smirked up at you. “Mmh, I’m excited for this,” He purred. You smirked back at him and gave him a hungry kiss, flipping him onto his back.

You quickly stripped your clothes and fastened the strap on, making sure it was nice and tight so it didn’t fall off. You got between his legs and generously lined the tip of the toy. You lined it up with his hole, as well as your own on the other side.

“Are you ready, sweetheart?” You asked, petting his inner thigh gently with your free hand. He let out a small nervous breath and waited a moment. Soon enough he nodded, looking up at you with half hooded eyes.

“Please… Fuck me, darling.”

That was all the encouragement you needed. You slowly pushed the toy inside both of you. You both let out a loud long moan. Astarion took the toy surprisingly well, especially since he only had two fingers inside before. Regardless, you still waited to move so he could get used to the size of it, which was exactly what he did for you your first time.

His legs shook in excitement and his cock was twitching violently, leaking precum. It was truly a sight to behold… You looked into his eyes hungrily, silently asking for permission to move. He gripped your hips and pulled you into him, making you both gasp in pleasure. You placed your hands on his hips and took hold of them, slowly rolling your hips inside of him. Your side of the toy was angled just right, so every thrust pushed the toy up and against your g spot.

Astarion whimpered softly and reached down to his cock, taking a hold of it and stroking it slowly as you fucked him deeper. You knew he wouldn’t last long like this, especially after being denied his orgasm twice now.

Hmph, showed him. He does it to you all the time.

You decided to show mercy, finally, and rolled your hips faster and deeper, starting to feel your orgasm approaching too. Your core was on fire, seeing him so helpless under you set fire to your blood. You leaned down and locked him in a deep kiss. He whined helplessly into your mouth, gripping the back of your head with his free hand. He broke the kiss briefly to speak.

“M-My sweet, may I come? Please will you let me come this time?” His pleas were adorable, and it only made you pick your speed up even more, your hips now clapping against his. You moaned loudly and nodded.

“Yes, come with me. Be a good boy and come with me.”

His cries crescendoed as he came closer and closer. You lifted him slightly so you could get even deeper inside, and with one more thrust, you both came undone. Pleasure shook through you both like an earthquake. Your come covered the sheets underneath you and Astarion’s shot all the way up to his chest, some even reaching his jaw. He always was a shooter…

After you both came down from your highs you looked at each other, both of you breathing heavily. You were both stunned at how amazing that was. It was like nothing either of you have ever experienced before. It was surreal…

You were the first one to split the silence. “That was…” Astarion finished your sentence. “Amazing,” He chuckled, chest still heaving. You smiled and pressed a small kiss to his forehead. “Would you like to bathe with me, my love?” You asked, slowly pulling the toy out of both of you. He smiled and cupped your cheek. “Darling, there is nothing I’d like more.” He purred.

You grinned and leaned into his touch and reached out to run your fingers through his hair.

“Good boy.”

authors note: this is probably the hardest fic i’ve ever written… i’ve never written a submissive male before so if it’s not accurate or if some things said don’t match up to astarion’s character i’m sorry! also the tags are a bit different from my original teaser post, again sorry about that but i really really hope you all enjoyed!

taglist: @preparedfruit @my-horniness-is-okay

#astarion #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #astarion x reader #bg3 fanfiction #astarion x tav #bg3 tav #sub!astarion #sub!astarion x reader #18+ mdni

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annabelle--cane · 7 months

Note

I guess the thing that makes me not so fond of Jon's addiction allegory is that it's only coherent to a certain extent? Like I think people sometimes forget that he's actively violating these people

anon, through no fault of your own you have accidentally hit upon my sleeper agent trigger phrase. I have layers of answers to this.

so first off, yeah, it's not a 1:1 direct metaphor, it's a soupy dream logic fantasy plot device with flavors of a lot of different things. there's quite a lot of addiction in there, there's some abuse of power, there's some cyclical nature of trauma, there's a dash of disability, there's a few notes of gendered violence, there's a good bit of just. violence violence and being kind of a motherfucker because goddammit it feels good to be an active agent about something in your life, even if it's just choosing to be a worse version of yourself than you strictly need to be. a lot of tma's worldbuilding is very allegorical, but apart from aspects of individual statements nothing really matches up quite 1:1 with a real world counterpart, and if more things did then it probably wouldn't be a fantasy show anymore.

secondly. okay to contextualize this answer a little bit I have a kind of hypothetical video essay project about vampirism and addiction that I like to spend a few hours thinking about every so often but am almost certainly never going to make because the full research burden required is a lot higher than I actually have the time to properly do. but because of that I've spent a lot of time sorting through why framing vampires as addicts really works for me in a way that it doesn't seem to for everyone, and I think a lot of my thoughts on that also apply to jon. there's going to be a bit of a detour here before we get back to talking about tma, but we'll get there, I prommy.

I've seen a lot of people take issue with various paranormal addiction allegories because, a lot of the time, the act that is meant to metaphorically represent the act of use itself is something that is directly and inherently harmful to others, e.g. drinking human blood, handing over power to your hedonistic Evil alter ego, holding the cursed amulet and going crazy going stupid, slurping trauma out of the head of some guy you ran into on a boat to norway, etc., and yeah, I do get that. substance use is not inherently harmful like that to anyone except sometimes the user themself, and addicts are not inherently fucked up and destructive people; those are dangerous stereotypes that often lead to the demonizing of a whole group of sick people.

here's the thing for me, though: those are definitely truths I want explored and represented when it comes to portrayals of non-allegorical actual addicts, but fantasy fiction isn't for showing the world as it is, it's for showing a subjective fun house mirror version of reality where certain aspects are minimized and magnified depending on how it feels to live through it. and yes, absolutely in real life drug use is not an inherently evil act and it does not make you an inherently evil person, but... doesn't it kind of feel like that? sort of? absolutely no one is living their best life nor on their best behavior while experiencing any kind of major mental illness episode, and when it comes to addiction you've got a very clear tangible symbol of when The Episode is happening that it feels like you have much more control over than when it comes to other illnesses. it's also a thing where people are a lot more likely to be openly angry and distrustful of you if they find out it's happening. so you mix together the ideas of "I know I get worse as a result of doing this one specific thing" + "I act less like myself when I'm using, it rearranges my priorities and I care less about hurting people because that's what happens when you're experiencing The Horrors" + "society at large/people directly around me are pretty quick to say that doing this is evil," and you get the subjective emotional result of "I hurt people by using and it makes me monstrous." I tend to respond to those kinds of paranormal allegories like they're just cutting out the middle man of those subjective fears. "using makes me monstrous" -> "using is monstrous."

anyway. jon archivist.

don't get me wrong, I totally understand if this aspect of metaphor doesn't gel for some people and they only like taking it exactly as far as the text explicitly makes them, but I really get a lot out of reading jon's connection to the fears as addiction precisely because he does genuinely awful things to people as a result of it. he's a person in a very bad physical and mental place with little to no support who is constantly being told by both allies and enemies that he's already a monster just by being alive, and he copes with that by secretly falling further and further into an compulsive act of consumption that skews his priorities and makes him care less about hurting people because at least sometimes getting to be the cause of pain makes him feel a little bit less powerless when he has to be the subject of pain the rest of the time. then he's found out and is made to stop, and he has to grapple not just with the physical toll of withdrawal but with knowing there is a not insignificant part of him that will excuse any act of malice if he knows he'll feel better afterwards.

the end of tma is very explicit in the fact that the rules of its world are shaped by the subjective worst fears of those who live in it, it's "an exercise in unreliably reality" as jonny sims put it once, and I think that principle extends backwards in some ways to apply to the rest of the show. I don't think the fact that there are only entities of fear and not hope or love is meant to be a full commentary on the total nature of the real world, it's a reflection of what fear and suffering can make the world feel like. eric and melanie both go to really harsh extremes to extricate themselves from the fears and live peaceful lives, and in both cases something happens that foils their plans (getting murdered + the apocalypse, respectively), but I don't think the intended message is to say that is definitively how real life works, they are metaphors for the limits of individual agency in larger systems and represent two types of worst-case-scenarios. similarly, I don't think reading jon as an addict implies that addiction inherently involves violence or that the reactions of those around him were completely unjustified, it's just a subjective exploration of the kinds of fears that can come with addiction dialed up to 100.

#also to be clear after the first paragraph I'm using 'you' in a general sense not directly to You The Anon Who Sent This #I'm not trying to insinuate anything about whether You The Anon Who Sent This does or doesn't have any experience w substance use #tma #answered #anons

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odinsblog · 5 months

Text

Land and Housing

As a result of decades of land confiscations and discriminatory land policies, Israeli authorities have hemmed in Palestinian towns and villages, while nurturing the growth and expansion of Jewish communities, many of which in practice exclude Palestinians. The majority of Palestinians in Israel live in these communities, while some live in “mixed cities” like Tel Aviv-Jaffa and Haifa.

Ninety-three percent of all land in Israel constitutes state land, directly controlled by the Israeli government. Israeli authorities confiscated much of this land, several million dunams, from Palestinians through several different legal instruments, as documented in a later chapter of this report. A government agency, the Israel Land Authority (ILA), manages and allocates state lands. Almost half the members of its governing body belong to the JNF, whose explicit mandate is to develop and lease land for Jews and not any other segment of the population. The fund owns 13 percent of Israel’s land, which the state is mandated to use “for the purpose of settling Jews.”

Israeli authorities have almost exclusively allocated state lands for the development and expansion of Jewish communities. Since 1948, the government has authorized the creation of more than 900 “Jewish localities” in Israel, but none for Palestinians except for a handful of government-planned townships and villages in the Negev and Galilee, created largely to concentrate previously displaced Bedouin communities. Less than 3 percent of all land in Israel falls under the jurisdiction of Palestinian municipalities, where the majority of Palestinian citizens live, according to a 2017 estimate by Israeli and Palestinian groups.

Even inside Palestinian towns and villages within Israel, Israeli authorities discriminatorily restrict the land available for residential growth. The authorities have zoned large sections of Palestinian towns and villages for “agricultural” use or as “green” areas, prohibited residential building in them, and built roads and other infrastructure projects that impede expansion. A 2003 Israeli government-commissioned report found that “many Arab towns and villages were surrounded by land designated for purposes such as security zones, Jewish regional councils, national parks and nature reserves or highways, which prevent or impede the possibility of their expansion in the future.”

While increasing focus in recent years on these issues has resulted in more state-approved residential development, they have done little to date to change the reality of hemmed-in Palestinian towns and villages. By contrast, in case studies documented by Human Rights Watch in each of Israel’s six districts, planning authorities provided sufficient land and zoning permissions to predominantly Jewish communities to facilitate their growth.

(continue reading)

#politics #palestine #gaza #isreal #israel is an apartheid state #illegal settlements #apartheid #displacement #israili apartheid #visualizing palestine #nakba #al nakba #🍉#🇵🇸

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cosmicbucky · 6 months

Note

A chubby reader who's super self conscious of her belly and bust? Like she's strong and stuff, comes with the higher weight, but just....

Cant really wear anything unless it's sweats and a sweater, or a t-shirt. Almost never goes out.

And one day Bucky comes to the compound. Reader immediately gets a crush, and has major anxiety over it, like "leaving the room when he comes near" anxiety. Bucky thinks it's his fault, that he's done something wrong and talks to you about it.

He decides to talk to you about it, crying ensues because insecurities, and then the fluff.

Sorry this ask is so long, I'm kinda scrambled XP

hi, lovely! 💫

first of all, don't apologize for bringing this beautiful request into my world! i was beyond excited to have the chance to bring this idea to life, and i hope the direction i took with it does justice to what you had in mind!

second of all, i am so sorry this took me so long to put out, this request is so lovely and i really wanted to make it the best i could.

i hope you enjoy!

matches

pairing: bucky barnes x midsize!reader

word count: 3974

warnings: insecurities and self consciousness, mild body image issues, brief self depreciating thoughts, angst, mutual pining, fluff, swearing, allusions to mature themes, let me know if i missed anything!

please do not read this if you're not comfortable with any of the above topics. while they are not heavily focused on, they are the main theme of this fic

a/n: big thanks to @buckylattes for reading this and catching some of the dumb ass mistakes i made lmao

《《《《 ♡ 》》》》

Being part of the Rescue and Reconnaissance division of Stark Industries wasn't the most glamorous job, but you loved it. You got to work nearly hand in hand with field agents every day, formulating plans for raids, rescues, infiltrations, or general takedown missions to make sure all those involved worked as safely and efficiently as possible.

You were the one they turned to when a new plan was needed; when they were at risk. There were a few agents who refused to listen to anyone other than you when it came to these times - specifically asking for you to help them through.

Agent Barnes was one of these people, and though you could never voice it, he was your favourite to deal with. He was always kind and courteous, understanding in the fact that despite not being in the same rankings as him, you damn well knew what you were doing. And, well, it didn't hurt that he always found a moment to be a charming little flirt.

You have no idea why he had such faith in you. Maybe it was because you always took what he suggested into consideration when calculating next steps. Maybe it was because your ideas were as crazy as his sometimes. Maybe it was simply because he liked the sound of your voice.

You never knew.

You never actually met him.

All your dealings with field agents were done from the safety of your control room. You never minded it, though. It was nice, in a way. You absolutely loved doing what you do, but you would never be able to handle being around field agents all the time. Not when they look the way they do, and you…. well, you're you.

Your thighs touch when you walk, your belly shakes when you laugh, your arms jiggle when you move. You have to painstakingly pick out the right kinds of shirts, otherwise your chest will make it seem like you're three times as big as you really are.

You were the chubby girl who always hid in the shadows, too afraid to let the world see how bright you truly shine - you were a flame ready to ignite, but no one around you ever offered you a match.

You were used to it. You made peace with it a long time ago, finding solace in your own company instead of relying on other people to enjoy your time with. It still bothered you from time to time, and you let yourself have days where you wallowed in it, wishing things were different, wishing you looked different. Though, for the most part, it stopped bothering you so much the older you got.

Until the day you finally met Bucky.

It was a strange day, being sent to the compound. You've never been sent anywhere before, always planted in your seat while talking to field agents across the world. Yet here you were, being requested by Tony Stark himself.

You must have spent hours trying to find the right outfit. One that showed off your curves without accentuating the extra pudge around your middle. One that complimented your chest without highlighting the size. One that showed off your ass without making it look massive. One that carefully hid your arms. One that you felt comfortable in.

It felt like your heart was in your throat the whole time. The butterflies in your stomach turned into a full on frenzy, and you had to take deep breaths every few seconds to stay calm; and to not throw up.

You barely heard it when Tony said he wanted you working under him. You could hardly process it when he said he created a job just for you. You didn't quite understand it when he told you there was space for you at the compound, and he wanted you here full time.

All you could do was dumbly nod your head, trying to focus on what he was saying instead of the fact that Bucky Barnes was just outside the conference room.

By the time the meeting was over, you felt lightheaded. You clutched the contract you were given against your chest and took a final deep breath before leaving the room, hoping to get by unnoticed. It's not like he even knew who you really were, right?

A gentle calling of your name told you that you were very, very wrong.

Your feet became rooted in place as you squeezed your eyes shut, focusing all you could on calming your nerves before turning around. And jesus christ, nothing could have prepared you for how beautiful this man actually was in person.

"Hi," you breathed out, a tiny shy smile gracing your lips.

"Hi," he said, unintentionally mimicking you.

His eyes travelled over your face before taking their time roaming your body; you shifted uncomfortably and clutched the contract a little tighter as he stayed fixed on you. A smirk graced his lips, but it was gone before you could really focus on it.

"It's, uh-... it's nice to finally meet you, Agent Barnes," you muttered sheepishly, hesitantly offering him your hand.

"You can call me Bucky," he said, smiling warmly as he took your hand in his, sending fire throughout your whole body. "I'd like to say thank you for saving my ass as often as you do, but thank you doesn't seem like enough."

You chuckled, feeling your face flush under his gaze. "'Thank you' suffices just fine, Bucky. I've only been doing my job."

"Speaking of," he started, tilting his head a little as he eyed the contract you held. "You gonna take it?" he asked curiously, his eyes snapping back to yours.

"What?" you asked, caught off guard by his question.

"The job," he said, gesturing between the contract in your hands and the conference room you just occupied. "You gonna say yes?"

"How do you know about that?" you asked curiously.

"I know things," he said passively, shrugging his shoulders. "How 'bout I show you around? You can see the place before you decide anything."

You wanted to say no. You wanted to run away and retreat into yourself once more. Though something about the way he was looking at you made it hard to do so.

So, you agreed.

And that's how everything started.

You took the job, moving into the compound a few days after that. You quickly made friends with the girls, and they became your support group; they would help you when it came to shopping for clothes or finding the right outfit for events. They offered to go for walks with you or do yoga - anything you felt like doing, really. You still felt inferior to them from time to time, but not because they made you feel that way; no one at the compound did.

Only yourself.

When it came to the boys, it was more or less the same thing. You felt comfortable around them, and you never minded close contact or them seeing you in tighter fitting clothes.

Everyone was family, and it never felt awkward or uncomfortable around them.

Except for when it came to Bucky.

You still grew closer to him over the months of you living at the compound so far, but it hasn't been easy. It was a constant challenge, and it grew harder for you day after day.

When it came to you working alongside him on his missions, everything was great. Nothing with him changed, aside from him throwing out a few more flirty comments. And, since you still had the safety net of being behind comms, you threw some right back at him.

Once the missions were over, though, it was hard to be around him. You wanted to be around him, but it was nearly impossible. Your feelings for him grew, and the stronger your feelings were, the more distant you became.

You were careful to only wear sweaters or loose tees paired with sweatpants around him, making sure he would never catch sight of the extra weight you carried around. You quit eating around him; it's not like you had bad eating habits, but you couldn't shake the panic that he would somehow be disgusted, that he would think the reason you're so chubby was because of your diet. You stopped sitting near him during movie nights, and you never hugged him. No matter how much you itched to wrap your arms around him when he came home safe from missions, you couldn't risk him feeling the rolls your body carried, or how soft and pudgy you were.

It was driving Bucky crazy.

From the minute he finally set his eyes on you, he couldn't get you out of his head. He was beyond thrilled when you agreed to Stark's offer, and he couldn't wait to take the opportunity to get to know you - which was a massive step for him. Yet he couldn't shake the feeling he did something to upset you.

He grew more confused every day. When it came to conversing over the comms during missions, you two were like a well oiled machine; giggles and flirting and jokes of previous missions. No one would ever know something was amiss.

Yet when everyone would return home, it was like a switch was flipped. You greeted everyone with hugs and smiles and affection, and Bucky always waited patiently for his turn: but it never came. Instead, you turned to him with an awkward smile and shining eyes and gave him the traditional "welcome home, soldier" that, despite everything, always pulled a smile from his lips.

He racked his brain every night trying to figure out if he did something, if he said something, but he could never come up with anything. He could never find a reason for the way you would some days leave the room as soon as he entered, for why you always hid away from him when he would catch you off guard in workout clothes or formal attire. He could never come up with an explanation and it was eating him alive.

The final straw came for him on the night of Pepper’s birthday party.

He didn’t want to go, he never wanted to go to these things, but ever since you came around he found himself more willing to at least make an appearance; if only to see you. However, he wasn’t even positive if you were going to show up this time, given the way you’ve been so distant lately - and that made him not want to go at all. So he was biding his time, sitting in the kitchen and emptying a bottle of whiskey, trying to not make it obvious that he was waiting to see if you’d wander out of your room before he slipped away to the party.

You stood in front of your mirror for what felt like hours, never before feeling more diffident as you assessed your reflection. You’ve been to some of Tony’s parties before, but this was for Pepper - it was the most grandiose one you’ve attended to date. You weren’t left much choice but to dress your fanciest, and you felt so unfamiliar with your own body as your hands trailed down the fabric of your dress. It was form fitting, hugging every curve you had and accentuating your figure in a way you weren’t used to seeing. The straps were small and the cut was low, it travelled midcalf and had a small slit up the side, showing way more of your leg than you wanted. You had a burning desire to change, but Nat insisted you looked incredible, and Wanda already applied a touch of makeup to match the dress - not to mention you were already running late as it was.

With one last heavy sigh, you steeled yourself before slipping on your heels and marching out of your room. You thought of anything and everything you could as you marched down the hall, doing your best to pay no mind to the way you felt the fabric clinging to your body with every move you made. God, you really should have put on shapewear.

Bucky heard you before he saw you, your footfalls echoing through the floor in the same pattern he came to memorize in the months you’ve been here. He took a deep breath, prepared for the fact that you would most likely brush him off once more. He was not prepared, though, for the sight of you as you rounded the corner.

You were not prepared to see him sitting there, clad in a pressed suit, or for him to quite literally choke on the drink he was nursing as he took in your presence.

“Jesus, Bucky. Are you alright?” you inquired, conflicted between staying where you stood and approaching him.

A dismissive wave of his hand had you staying in place, your arms wrapping around your middle as you began to feel exposed to him.

“I’m fine, I’m good,” he coughed out, refilling his glass as if nothing happened.

You stood there quietly, completely unsure of what to do next. The silence was becoming louder and louder but you didn’t want to draw his attention to you. Not when you were looking like this. Not when he’d be able to see every curve and divot of your body, the protrusion of your stomach, the ample raise of your chest. You were really starting to regret not changing.

“Are you gonna stand there and stare all night or head to the party?” he asked, keeping his eyes on the glass before him. His tone was playful, but his voice had a rasp to it that sent a shiver down your spine.

“Oh, uh - sorry,” you muttered, clearing your throat as you slowly advanced in his direction. “Are, um-… are you gonna join the party?”

He huffed a small laugh, his eyes finally raising to meet yours only to find that you were looking almost everywhere but at him, effectively wiping the small smile from his face.

“I’m not so sure,” he said lowly, downing the contents of his glass as he kept his eyes on you.

You hummed, looking down at your hands before chancing a glance at him; his gaze on you so intense that you immediately looked away again.

“Well, I- I hope to see you there,” you said sincerely, wringing your fingers together. “You look really nice, Buck” you added quietly, looking up at him just long enough to flash him a warm smile before continuing through the kitchen.

“Did I do something wrong?” he called after you, the hurt in his voice impossible to miss.

“What?” you asked in confusion, turning to glance in his direction.

“Did I do something wrong?” he repeated, leaning back in his chair. “Because ever since you moved in here, it’s like you can’t stand the sight of me.”

You couldn’t help the nervous chuckle that left you, shaking your head in disbelief. “That’s not true.”

“No?” he asked, his tone taking on a new edge. “Are you sure? ‘Cause you can’t even fucking look at me right now. You practically run from me when I enter the same room, you do everything you can to avoid me, and let’s not forget the fact that I’m the only one around here who you don’t hug after getting back from missions.”

“Bucky-” you tried to explain, but the lump forming in your throat stopped you short.

“I just wanna know what I did,” he carried on, voice softer this time. “I don’t know if you’re angry with me or- or if you’re scared of me-”

“I am not scared of you,” you interrupted, finally meeting his gaze. “Please don’t think that.”

“What else am I supposed to think?” he asked quietly. “Everything is fine when I’m out on the field, we- I get along with you better than anyone. But then I come home, and it’s not the same.”

“It’s not-... it’s not like that, Bucky,” you whispered sadly, unintentionally looking away from him again.

“Yeah, if you say so,” he said curtly, sighing in defeat as he filled his glass again. “Just enjoy the party, okay?”

“You’re not coming?” you asked, unable to keep the disappointment from your voice.

“Well, you’re just gonna avoid me anyway. Might as well make it easier for you and stay here,” he replied, keeping his eyes on the twirling glass in his hands.

“I don’t want you to think like that,” you admitted softly. “I- I don’t mean to do the things I do.”

“Then why do they happen?” he inquired, his eyes meeting yours and displaying a painful mix of hurt and confusion.

“Because,” you started, feeling your bottom lip quiver. “I mean, look at me, Buck,” you finished, as if that was explanation enough.

“Believe me, I’m looking,” he said gently. “And you look-... well, I wanna say you look beautiful, but that implies you don’t always look beautiful, so, I- I don’t know what I’m supposed to say,” he added, his voice so low he may as well have been speaking to himself, but you heard every word he muttered.

“...What?” you breathed out, staring over at him.

“What?” he questioned, glancing up to catch your eye.

You tried to swallow the lump in your throat but it just kept on growing, forcing you to choke on your words.

“Hey, wait, don’t-... okay, now I really said something wrong, right?” he asked quickly, starting to panic as he watched your eyes fill with tears.

Shaking your head vehemently, you delicately wiped your eyes, hoping not to smudge the work that Wanda did for you. “No, you- I just didn’t expect you to say that. I-... I'm not used to hearing that."

"You're not?" he asked, genuinely surprised.

You almost laughed, and you probably would have if it wasn't such an embarrassing thing to admit. "No. I'm… guys don't really call girls who look like me beautiful."

He fell silent for a minute, eyeing you carefully before shifting in his seat, resting his arms on the table.

"You know, I've been alive for a pretty long time now," he said conversationally, as if you weren't on the cusp of a breakdown. "And I've also been quite literally around the whole world in that time. Some of it I remember, some of it… not so much. But even so, do you know what the one thing I can say with complete certainty is?"

You waited for him to go on for a moment before realizing he was actually looking for an answer. "No, what?" you manage to croak out.

He smiled softly, relaxing in his seat again. "I have, quite literally, never met anyone as beautiful as you. And I mean in both appearance and personality."

"But I- I'm not… I don't have the kind of body like the other women around here," you murmured, casting your gaze downwards as if you were ashamed of your words.

"So?" he asked incredulously. "Do you seriously think that you're automatically not beautiful just because you aren't the same size as them?"

"No, it- you can't- I'm not-" you tried to argue, but all you could get out were a few utterances before you had to choke back a sob, completely lost on how to express yourself.

"Is this why you've been avoiding me? Have I done something to make you uncomfortable?" he asked anxiously, fighting the urge to approach you.

"Yes. I mean no, I-" you cut yourself off with a sigh, taking a moment to consider your answer. "I've been too embarrassed to be around you. I-... I was afraid you'd be repulsed by me and that I'd lose you."

"Repulsed by you? A woman who puts fucking goddesses to shame?" he asked in disbelief. "Did me choking on my drink earlier not prove how taken by you I am?"

"Is that what that was?" you wondered, letting out a watery laugh.

"Yeah, that's what that was," he confirmed with a soft chuckle. "A guy does a real life spit take when he sees the girl of his dreams looking like the focus of a goddamn renaissance painting and she doesn't even realize it," he mumbled in exasperation, yet his eyes carried a playful sparkle.

"The girl of your dreams?" you repeated in shock, your voice a nervous whisper.

"Was that too cliché?" he questioned, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"Maybe a little," you said playfully, sniffling quietly.

"I know how it feels, you know," he said softly. "To feel uncomfortable in your own body. But if you'd let me, I'll spend every day proving to you that I see you as nothing short of perfect."

You could only nod, giving him a weak smile as you fought back a wave of tears. "Yeah, I-... I could do that, too," you agreed quietly.

He grinned softly, greedily taking in your appearance once more before tearing his eyes away. "Come on," he urged, downing his drink before standing up. "You owe me about seven dances."

"Where does that number come from?" you asked with a laugh, watching as he approached you.

"For how many parties you snubbed me at so far," he replied casually, stopping as he stood before you.

"I never snubbed you," you grumbled, peering up at him.

"Sure you didn't," he teased, carefully wiping the tears from your face.

"Do I still look okay?" you asked nervously, fidgiting slightly under his touch.

"Gorgeous as ever," he replied sincerely.

You couldn't help but grin, laughing a little anxiously. "Okay. Come on, or else we won't have enough time for all those dances."

Bucky laughed happily, taking your hand and rushing to join the party, having you giggling in his wake as you did your best to keep up.

You let him whisk you away for the rest of the night, leading you through all the dances you owed him; and a few more, for good measure, as Bucky put it.

He stayed true to his word, and there wasn't a second that you spent with him where you didn't feel like the most ravishing woman to walk the earth.

Especially when he took his precious time in the dark of the night to memorize and worship every inch of your body over and over again.

So as you sat here now, watching from across the room as he danced with the crowd, you couldn't help but feel foolish. Foolish for letting your thoughts take away the extra time you could have had with him, foolish for ever thinking this incredible man would ever judge you for something so trivial. Foolish, foolish, foolish.

"Penny for your thoughts?" you heard from beside you, ripping you from your reverie.

You turned your head, grinning as you saw the very man himself had taken up the seat to your left. "What, get tired of dancing already, old man?"

He gasped, feigning offense as he took in your words. "I'd watch who you're calling old, sweetheart," he warned playfully.

"I'd watch who you're calling sweetheart. I happen to be a married woman now, you know," you replied jovially.

"Married, huh? Should've known I didn't stand a chance," he lamented, shaking his head. "How about a pity dance?" he suggested with a grin, holding his hand out to you.

You giggled softly, taking his hand with a grin of your own. "Lead the way, Mr. Barnes."

"Anything for you, Mrs. Barnes," he replied with a wink, leading you to the dance floor.

And just like he did three years ago, he whisked you away and led you through a whole seven dances; and a few more, for good measure.

You were a flame, finally ignited, and Bucky was your match.

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