#also as someone who lives in seattle it's always a struggle when it comes to remember how pyke is spelled

[navree]

I remember one of your answers you said that the most similar characters to Aegon are Tyrion,Theon,and Aeron why these three specifically ? I'm curious

So for those who don't remember that, this was specifically about who I would compare show!Aegon to in response to all those people who were like "omg new Joffrey" even tho he's not like Joffrey at all (there's an ask about that somewhere but I can't locate it at the moment), and I do believe I said that show!Aegon reads more to me as an amalgamation of Tyrion, Theon, and Aeron.

All three of them share a common trait in that they have used or still do use debauchery as a coping mechanism for deep internal wounds. Tyrion drinks way too much and frequents sex workers because of the ableism he's endured all his life and the abuse he's suffered at the hands of his family, Theon is vain and unserious and cocky to make up for his feelings of otherness and displacement due to being a hostage at Winterfell, Aeron very likely was using drinking and whoring and playing around to try and deal with the lasting trauma from being a victim of sexual abuse, and Aegon, as I've mentioned numerous times, is clearly a wastrel who hardcore abuses susbtances to deal with the fact that he feels not only unloved but genuinely unlovable. Each of them developed unhealthy and negative coping mechanisms to deal with feeling pained deep inside in ways that they feel cannot be alleviated, only medicated and steadfastly ignored, and this has negatively impacted how they're viewed by others, including by members of their own families, which only compounds the feelings of isolation that they all deal with (Tyrion again due to being the undesired dwarf son, Theon due to being sent away, Aeron due to just having consciously separated himself and devoted himself to the Drowned God, Aegon due to being seen as a disappointment by his mother and his siblings in spite of their love for him).

Complicated relationships with their families is something that they all share, though to varying degrees of toxicity. Tyrion and Aeron have it worse, since Tyrion was put down and viciously abused by his father and his sister, and by Jaime due to his complicity in the Tysha debacle, and Aeron not only doesn't appear to have been close to any of his brothers (with the exception of traumabonding with Urri, who he harbors a lot of guilt for "killing" before his conversion) but was also serially molested by one of them, which has had a longlasting impact in the form of what's clearly severely untreated PTSD. But Theon himself feels outcast from his family due to the time he spent in Winterfell and how they seem to blame him for the crime of being a hostage, and Aegon's feelings that his family doesn't love him in spite of how much he cares is just the vicious cycle of parents and children and siblings fucking each other up until he and Alicent start clearing the air with the "do you love me" exchange and trying to defend each other from Meleys. They've also got complex sibling dynamics that are all messy and not easy to untangle (Tyrion with Jaime and Cersei, Aeron and his brothers even aside from Euron being his abuser, Theon and Asha, Aegon and Aemond and Helaena but particularly Aemond, as I have ranted about substantially in the past) and that are all going to play huge parts in whatever arcs remain to them for the rest of the series.

Aegon's similarities with Aeron himself have already been more firml outlined, such as a tendency to turn to religion when dealing with bad things happening to them and a lack of personal closeness to others, and again, bad coping mechanisms. Theon and Aegon share that feeling of isolation specific to having an otherwise cohesive family unit, like the way Asha is not only so much more at home in Pyke than he is but also how much closer she is to Baelon than he is, and how she views herself as better than him (though not without reason), while Aegon clearly feels at odds with how close his mother and Aemond are, and his own feelings of inadequacy as it relates to Aemond even as he loves him and Aemond's apparent disdain for him, since we know that Aegon is willing to go to the mat for Aemond (ironically not dissimilar to the way that Asha does for Theon), though Aemond himself is willing to also go to the mat for his brother and that relationship is only going to get more codependent as the show goes on. Tyrion and Aegon also share a similarity in how their arcs are going to go, as Tyrion is clearly spiraling further and further into darkness and is likely going to be a corrupting influence on Dany before he's either pulled back or goes all the way and dies, much like how Aegon himself is going to slip slower and slower into darkness and ruthlessness, culminating in how he executes Rhaenyra and how he almost kinslays Baela, both motivated by strong feelings of loss and feeling that there's nothing left (Tyrion killed his dad and feels he lost Jaime due to the Tysha confession and not to mention his entire feelings of hopelessness about Tysha and that tragedy, while Aegon's going to lose nearly all of his family members and the near death of Baela is motivated by his grief over losing Sunfyre). And there's a minor thread in the connection to food and poison, and Tyrion wonders in ADWD if The Mushrooms are poisoned, while Aegon himself does die of poisoning (either murder or suicide).

I think all three characters share similarities with the show's interpretation of Aegon, both as a group and on their own individual merits, certainly more than fucking Joffrey.

#personal #answered #anonymous #let me know if you need this tagged with anything due to the discussions of aeron's past #also as someone who lives in seattle it's always a struggle when it comes to remember how pyke is spelled #cuz i wanna just spell it like pike place

[toournextadventure]

THE OC LORE THE OC LORE LETS HEAR IT??

JUST LET ME KNOW WHAT KIND OF OC LORE YOU WANT BESTIE

But I'll give you some very basic life stories about birb!Reader's older family for fun 😌 if you wanna know about the siblings, let me know, I've got lots more 👀

Reader's ENTIRE adopted family is full of Outcasts, unwanted people, and those that ended up alone whether on purpose or not. It's constantly growing so it's always an absolute madhouse and everyone is either an aunt, an uncle, or a sibling. Chaos always ensues

Her Grandpa, for example, is a true European vampire. He was a blacksmith centuries ago and is the one who teaches Reader all of her "old school" skills. All of her swordfighting skills came from him and he's the one who made the sword for Gomez. One of his favourite pastimes is throwing pop quizzes at all the grandkids to see if they're keeping up with their Romanian. He'll be damned if his grandkids don't learn his language (at least they think it's his language, he has never confirmed a single thing ever in his life). When Wednesday comes around, he's pleasantly surprised at her intellect; they talk for hours in languages Reader doesn't understand

Then there's her Abuelita. She and her parents had come up from Mexico when she was only 4 or 5 and grew up in Southern Texas. They got scattered when she was about 24 and ended up on the East Coast where she met Grandpa and the rest is history (Reader is convinced she only speaks Spanish. Jokes on her, Abuelita speaks perfect English, but the joke has been going on for so long that she can't give up on it now). She bullies Reader even more when Wednesday is around, just to see the amusement on Wednesday's face when Reader gets frustrated

Auntie C is a bad bitch, we stan. She grew up in foster care in Seattle and was miraculously adopted by Abuelita and Grandpa. Easily got her PhD and is a neurosurgeon who does NOT take any shit from the kids, especially the older ones because they damn well know better. No spouse, no kids (except for the Family Kids), ALWAYS in her hoe phase, she is living her absolute best life. She also takes no shit from Wednesday, throwing her own threats right back; it's a wonderful bonding experience

Tio's parents sent him to America at 11 so he couldn't get drawn into the Colombian Cartel. Spent almost three years roaming before being found by Aunti C, who befriended him and eventually brought him home. He's a musician at heart and taught Nicky how to play guitar (he tried teaching Reader, and she's not too shabby, but not near as good as Nicky). Tio, more often than not, is the one who teases Reader most and ABSOLUTELY gives her all kinds of shit when he finds out about Wednesday

Pop probably has the most traumatic past. Growing up on the East Coast, his father (and uncle and cousin) died in a coal mine collapse. Not long after, his mom took her own life, leaving him alone. He was adopted out of an orphanage and became the youngest of Abuelita and Grandpa's group. He and momma were high school sweethearts that got married out of college (he knows more than most about Reader's struggle with her anger, and he's her biggest supporter). He thinks Wednesday is a good anchor for Reader to finally start trying to heal

Momma, strangely enough, had a perfectly normal life. She still talks with her parents, has one sister and a few nieces and nephews. Everyone teases her for not having trauma, to which she says "watch it before I GIVE YOU something traumatic to worry about." She mother's Wednesday in her own way and even though Wednesday will never admit it, she enjoys the genuine care from someone other than her own family

#wednesday addams x reader #wednesday x reader #wednesday addams imagine #everyone but her au

[olderthannetfic]

wait i’d love to hear yr thoughts about tony hillerman bc i grew up in new mexico (and still live here lol) & always thought he was just like normal pulp mystery

--

Normal pulp mystery with ten thousand digressions to talk about clouds and rocks. Hahaha.

IDK, do we use "pulp" like this now? (Genuine question.) His mystery style was fairly standard for the cozy end of mystery publishing if we mean not hardboiled, not police procedural, etc. rather than the cozy mysteries that are actually cozy with their cat-themed bookstores and such.

When I was a kid, my mother was obsessed with one day moving to Santa Fe, so for holidays, instead of seeing family, we'd go there. She had another phase where she was convinced she'd move to Orcas Island one day where, again, we spent holidays up around Seattle repeatedly. In both cases, there were things that happened to be culturally big at the time and easy to find that were also connected to local indigenous stuff.

What makes Hillerman interesting is that, despite being a white guy, he focused a lot on the Navajo reservation. It probably doesn't seem like much of anything if you're from that part of the world, and there are certainly some inaccuracies in the books that he himself would talk about in subsequent forwards, but they were a highly accessible introduction for someone who'd otherwise have had no reason to know about anything like that. I don't think that's so true now with more media on the scene, but this was the 90s at the height of his popularity (and of the series actually being good).

The thing is, they are normal mysteries. That's what made them work: people who didn't have a reason to care about the setting or particular political struggles bought them because they bought mystery novels in general. And then there was some other stuff in there too, but mostly, they're just fun genre fiction. One thing they did that I can't recall any other 90s media with a thousandth the reach doing was depict Indigenous characters who don't know that much about other indigenous cultures. There are a couple of books where the Navajo leads have to deal with Hopi stuff, and it's very clear these are different people with different communities. That sounds so incredibly small and obvious, but these books were sold in airport bookstores all over the country to an audience that knew literally nothing.

As for the books themselves, I like all the contemplative noodling about the landscape and the sense of place. That's something I often like in a mystery novel, especially one set somewhere I don't live.

The characters are compelling aside from their romances, which are horrendous. (Leaphorn has a wife who is a nonentity until she dies between books of something stupid, and then she comes up endlessly as the love of his life. Chee is a moron who makes bad choices and forces us to hear about them at great length.)

There's a bunch of archaeology stuff in some of the books, and I was a kid obsessed with archaeology. Honestly, our understanding of, e.g., Ancestral Puebloans is way different than it was in the 70s when some of these books came out, but it was still interesting stuff.

The adaptations now... Robert Redford bought the rights an eon ago and has been trying to make fetch happen ever since. One of the attempts was a set of three tv movies for PBS's Mystery! They hired Chris Eyre and unfridged Leaphorn's wife. There's a lot more humor relative to Hillerman's often rather gloomy style. And I am weak to buddy cops, to age gap with obnoxiously over-enthusiastic younger parties, and to OT3s.

[toogay2besaved]

Hello lovely’s!🤍 This is my first EVER fanfic post. It has taken me a long time to work up the courage to post it. @oneshotnewbie gave me a lot of confidence after reading it. She has amazing stories and if someone that creative and passionate says she likes my lil one shot I have to post it! Hope the few of you who read it enjoy :) if this one does well I have a second one which is similar to this one!

You’re Maya’s little sister who’s a part of the swim team. Maya is starting to realise your father will never change. Little does Maya know, he’s gotten worse.

⚠️TW mentions abuse/suicide⚠️

Your first swim practice of the season is finally here. All summer you’ve been training at the community pool with your dad. Although you’re tired from the pressure he put on you, You’re glad you are at a slight advantage. Today a little bit of weight was lifted because your dad wasn’t there.

“Okay, Ladies that wraps practice. Please take these forms on your way out. We have a swim meet 2 weeks from now, Seattle Cancer Swim. It’s not only to raise money for cancer, it also earns you a spot on the varsity swim team. Oh, Y/N your dad is here”

Every time your dad comes to the pool you knew that it meant extended practice. Depending on your performance the practice could be an extra hour or several hours. You went to the changing room to get a drink of water. You hear your phone buzzing. It’s your sister. “Hey Gup, why is Dad’s car here are you not coming to our place for the weekend?” You always go to Carina and Maya’s for the weekend. It’s a safe space.

“Extended practice.” Maya knows too well about extended practices. You weren’t on the phone long because your dad hates to be kept waiting.

It has been 2 extra hours and you are starting to get so tired you can’t keep up. You start to get out of the pool with the smallest amount of energy you have. “Excuse me little girl, where do you think you’re going?” without turning to look at him you firmly stated you were going to the changing room. Before you knew it you were getting yanked back into the pool. The water hits you like lightning. When you came to the surface, struggling to stay afloat you made your way to the edge and help on. you hear fighting on the deck of the pool.

Maya had come in and watched the whole interaction between you and your father go down. This is the first time they have seen each other in months. “Y/N get out and get dressed we are leaving.” Maya wasn’t letting Lane towards you. You can’t really hear everything being exchanged between them from the water in your ears and the rage in your body.

<->

You were back at Maya and Carinas. The three of you are having dinner and it is so quiet you can almost hear the words on the neighbour’s TV. “Com'è andata la giornata, amore?”

Maya didn’t say much. Carina’s face read confused with her eyebrow raised. She moved on to you with the question. You said your day was fine while looking at Maya but she wasn’t convinced. “Okay, what is going on you two are usually non-stop talking. What happened today.” Carina demanded answers

“Carina, we are just tired. Today was busy and she had a long swim practice.” Maya tried getting Carina off your back, but you murmured with a slight laugh “Yeah, Long swim practice with an asshole.”

“Y/N enough.” Maya knows how much of an ass their dad can be, he’s still their father. Maya wants to keep it civil. You aren’t having any of it.

“Enough? Easy for you to say. You’re not around. You don’t live with him. All I ever hear from you is how Dad only wants what’s best for us. How is abusing us best?” You go to excuse yourself from the table but Maya stops you in your tracks

“Without him I wouldn’t have my Med-” Maya tries to get her sentence out but you stop her “You can shove your medal. Thanks to you and your stupid medal he has such a higher expectation for me.” You shove the chair into the dining room table and go straight to the guest room. You slam the door and your room is where you sit, silent for the next few hours

<->

You’re sitting in a chair pushed in front of the windows. Watching the trees get tossed around in the strong wind with the occasional lighting strike. You don’t even realise how long you’ve been sitting there. You’ve been too concentrated on speaking your mind to Maya at dinner to notice Carina opening the door. Carina walks around the back of the chair and sets a plate in your lap. “here Bella, you didn’t finish your dinner.”

You gave her a smile and she left the room. Not long after Maya knocked on the door and slowly opens it. This time you’re in your bed you turn to look away from her.

“I’m sorry Gup.” You could tell Maya meant it from the heart. Which shattered yours. Maya wasn’t one for apologies. Growing up she was always hard-headed.

“You know, when mom left dad for that very short period of time, it was just him and I?” the look on your sister’s face was clear; she had no idea. “I didn’t know they were separated. She just left and one day she came back as if nothing happened. Maya, I had no one. You have Carina and the entire station.” You tried to keep the tears from falling from your eyes but the bright blue eyes looking at you broke you. You know that Maya has been having a hard time but you can’t excuse the lack of support from your family. “I can’t be with Dad anymore.” your voice starts to crack while explaining things that have been going on. “I’m not trying to make you feel bad Maya but if I’m struggling this much at 14. Who’s to say I’ll even make it to 15.”

Maya put her arm around you and pulled you in close. You both were crying. Your eyes meet Maya “Y/N, you are right. I haven’t been the big sister I should be. I have actually thought about you a lot recently, Carina and I would like to offer a permanent place for you here. Please don’t think about what dad will do. We will figure it out.”

You hugged your sister tight and all you could say was Thank You.

#station19 #carina deluca x maya bishop #maya bishop #maya bishop imagine #carina deluca #fanfic #first time #victoria hughes #andy herrera #dean miller #jack gibson #ben warren #travis montgomery

[sierrawr]

Summary: You visit the location where the hit and run accident happened. Coincidentally, you met the Chief Inspector and his colleagues. Little do you know, one of his colleagues might be the person that could be the key to what you are looking for.

TEASER | TEASER 2 | CHAPTER 1 | CHAPTER 2 | CHAPTER 3 | CHAPTER 4 | CHAPTER 5

Pairing: Attorney! reader × Undercover Police! Jay Cameo: Police officer! Jake Genre: Thriller, mystery, slow-burn, Kdrama spin-off Triggered Warning!: None Word count: 1774 words Inspired by: Kdrama "Why Her?" and "Siren" by Taeyeon Song Recommendations: "Young Luv" by Stacy

You decided to visit the street where the hit and run happened 4 years ago. And that's where Soobin is driving you right now. When you have arrived, there are 2 police officers, a Crime Scene Investigator, a forensic analyst and a detective. One of them includes Inspector Kim, who is a Chief Inspector that you are familiar with. You're making your way towards Inspector Kim to greet him but one of the police officers cut you through it.

" I'm sorry ma'am, but you cannot enter a crime scene without authorisation."

Before you open your mouth to explain, Inspector Kim greets you first with the police officer standing on his side.

"아이고 (oh, my!) it's been a while isn't it? It's alright Jaeyun. She is Attorney Yang, the attorney that used to handle this case previously. Seems like she has become more poised and beautiful as she grow up, right?"

A hearty laugh coming out from him seeing how embarrassed you are from his compliment. Your name and the little tease from the Chief Inspector shocks Jaeyun, the police officer that makes him immediately bow to you before he apologizes and excuses himself. You sigh as this has always happened everytime people recognise you.

I can't even make a friend with someone because of the damn family..

Being feared by society is also one of the privileges that your family gets due to the amount of power, influence and status that your father has. But you have always hated the fact that the privileges make you and your step brother, Jungwon, are not allowed to live your life like anyone else who lives theirs as they wanted and be carefree about it.

While people would take extra miles just to be recognized and acknowledged by your family, those things never apply to Inspector Kim and that's what made him gain your trust and respect while working with him every now and then.

"It's a shame that your colleague ran away. He seems like a good guy."

Inspector Kim turns to look at the police officer and nod his head with a fatherly smile on his face.

"Sim Jaeyun.. He really is such a great guy but there's actually another fine young man that I know. He was trained in the US since he is from Seattle. When he got back here last year, I got to train him for a while. Now, I'm glad that he is working as my colleague."

Inspector Kim looks at you knowingly as if really wishes for both of you to meet each other.

"Through my years of struggling and hustling in this job, I have never seen him complaining unlike some of his peers. What I love about him is that he is a firm believer that truth must always prevail no matter what, and his passion while doing his job never fails to amaze me."

You are curious about the guy that Inspector talked about but at the same time, you are touched by the way Inspector Kim talks about that person. He might be the Chief Inspector who is known for his blunt way of speaking, but his firm yet laid back and father-like personality towards the people around him is the key to why he has a huge amount of respect from his colleagues and the community. Be it a commoner from the lower class or a VIP from the upper class, he would always treat them equally.

Inspector Kim have such outstanding achievements through the tough long years of being a detective or an investigator, yet het never let his status or power, social status and especially money, blinds him or get the best of him unlike your father who is rather far from being a role model to his family let alone the society. You even find yourself looking up to Inspector Kim more than your own father.

"I see that you have never changed at all, Inspector Kim. Sunoo is so lucky to have you as his father. How is he doing right now? I haven't seen him since graduation day."

Kim Sunoo, he used to study at the same college as you, which is SNU. But both of you don't really know each other that much since he pursued medical studies while you pursued law studies.

"Ahh, he is doing great actually. He works at a medical center in Seoul currently."

His smile never falters from his face, it's obvious that he is so proud of his son. Noticing that he is in a good mood, you remind yourself of the purpose why you came here in the first place. You are relieved that Inspector Kim is kind enough to show you the exact place where the case happened 4 gears ago.

"As you already know, this is where it all happened. The poor girl got hit and run just around the corner over there where there's a convenience store that is open for 24 hours."

Almost immediately, the flashback of that night plays inside your head. You staggered and you're lucky enough that someone is fast enough to catch you before you almost trip on your own shoes. Your breath is shaky but you are still thankful to be saved from tripping over yourself.

"T-thank you-"

Your heart almost stop beating from the view in front of you at that moment. You wanted to thank Inspector Choi who you thought was the one that catches you but it's not him. Instead, a stranger with an ethereal visual is the one who is holding onto your hand tightly to prevent you from falling.

"Are you okay? You didn't get hurt right?"

His dark brown eyes stares damn straight into your eyes. For a moment, you forgot how to speak until Inspector Kim cleared his voice to break the awkwardness.

"Ahh, there you are Jay! I've been looking for you actually. Meet Attorney Yang. She is the attorney that used to handle this case previously. And now she is assigned to work on this case along with our team."

The guy that identifies as Jay by Inspector Kim just now politely wipe his hand on his uniform as a sign of respect before hold his hand out to greet you.

"Hi, I'm Jay. Detective Jay."

You look at Inspector Kim before you hesitantly shake your hand with his.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Attorney Yang, I'll be looking forward to our teamwork."

He nodded his head. You noticed that his eyes never leave yours and you feel nervous about that. For some reason, you feel bothered and uncomfortable.

"Serena, this is the person that I talked about just now. He is the same age as Jaeyun, so they are a year older than you and Sunoo. Ah! I have a meeting to attend later so I'll be leaving the site to you, Jay and Sunoo."

You and Jay are now left alone as Inspector Kim has gone while Jaeyun is working with the forensic team.

"So you are the famous Serena Yang?"

The way he said your name makes you feel intimidated and you don't like his vibe from the first meeting. Meanwhile to him, meeting you is more than what meets the eye.

"I don't know that I'm famous even in America?"

You went along to match his vibe and he chuckled.

"Ah, my apology. I've heard a lot about you from Inspector Kim. Excuse me but may I-"

His hand carefully fixes the hair at the top of your head that's a bit messy since the wind was blowing quite strong earlier. Not that you didn't notice it but you just forgot to fix it on your own and you didn't plan that you'll be staying at the site that long. When his fingers gently tucks your hair behind your ear, you can't deny that your heart flutters and the butterflies on your stomach went wild.

"There you go. Just thought that you might look prettier and it did."

You look at his face with an unreadable expression and he laughs looking at how cute you are at the moment while trying to process what just happened.

"Thank you"

You mumbled but his ears caught that perfectly.

"It's my pleasure, M'lady."

Now that you have come back to your senses, you squint your eyes.

Is he really a detective?

"Have you always been this.. Weird?"

He smirks at you and suddenly bring his face closer to you.

"You mean flirting? That's not weird when I only do that to you and no one else. You should be proud though."

Nothing can compare to the feeling of shock that goes through your mind right now. No one has ever been that bold and straightforward to you like this guy did. Usually, people only fear you and would try their best not to interact with you unless necessary to avoid getting on your bad side. But Jay really is a special case to you.

He must be a different breed..

"You are the first.."

His eyes soften and his face shows a confused reaction to your response.

"What do you mean?"

"You are the first person who fearlessly interacts with me when no one else dare to do the same.."

Your eyes wander to Jaeyun who is now talking to the police officers. Jay's eyes follow your gaze.

"Jaeyun is an introvert. Unless it's about work he won't be talkative. I am an introvert too, but I am fearless because that's what made me the person I become today. Also.."

He gently lifts your chin to make you look at him.

"I am interested to get to know you more than working with you, Serena Yang."

He erased the distance between his face and yours and you couldn't help but take a little step back until his hand caught your waist, not letting you take any steps back.

"You're going to trip again. Be careful, my dear."

And before you know it, his lips touch one of your cheeks for a few seconds before he pulls back with a soft smile. You got too stunned that you forgot how to speak, and you didn't even realize your stomach was rumbling until you heard his laugh.

"Wanna grab lunch together?"

You blink your eyes a few times before you agree to have lunch with him.

"Sure."

As Jay went to Jaeyun to let him know that he is leaving the site with you, you didn't forget to text Soobin that he doesn't have to pick you up and you will be having lunch with someone. You also remind him to find the information about the victim's background.

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🦋: Let me know if you are interested to be add into my taglist by messaging me or commenting on the taglist post😊

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© 2023; sierrawr on Tumblr.

#enhypen #enhypen recs #enhypen requests #enhypen reactions #enhypen headcanons #enhypen scenarios #enhypen masterlist #enhypen fanfiction #enhypen fic #enhypen fluff #enhypen angst #enhypen suggestive #enhypen members #enhypen heeseung #enhypen jay #enhypen jake #enhypen sunghoon #enhypen sunoo #enhypen jungwon #enhypen niki #lee heseung #park jongseong #sim jaeyun #park sunghoon #kim sunoo #yang jungwon #nishimura riki #enhypen au #kpop #kpop fanfic

[moonbxbiee]

Contrasting hearts-Yang Jungwon

Ch-4 | Devil/Angels | Prologue

★ None of my characters or stories represent any enhypen members in real life, this story is purely fictional Made up by my own characters!

A/n- I was suppose to post this two day ago but my brain didn't listen to my heart. Btw it's long..hehe. (and the way I struggle with the name of this chapter, IT'S INSANE)

TAGLIST OPEN (Leave an ask or comment to be added to my tag list)

Previous | masterlist | next

･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ･ ✩ ･ﾟ ･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ･

Coming to the campus, i let out a gasp seeing the beauty in front of me, it was even more beautiful than in those k-dramas and in my parents love story.. and now I'm gonna live that part for making my own story. I was happy but somewhere in my heart I still have a guilt leaving my parents alone in Seattle and coming back here, that happens when you have so much empathy and when you overthink even if everything is going good in fact great.. you yourself gonna make some sort of bad in it. But my parents know my plans very well even before shifting to Seattle 'that no matter what I came back to Seoul the place where I belong'. Dad supported me every time and my mom too but... she's a bit more emotional than him and the thought of me living apart from her is always hurting her, but when the time of my departure she just accept the fate.

Walking through the hallways of the university I was having a little nervous feeling in my stomach maybe because I haven't had something filling except coffee and that made my digestive system doing some weird stuff, but my eyes continuously scanning everything possible ignoring that feeling of my stomach.

In no time we stood in front of the administration office, waiting for any of us to knock or open the door so we can go inside

"Bridget knock"

"No you knock flora"

"No you" flora said again, and then suddenly I got an urge and i knocked as i stared straight at the door.. beside my best friends staring into my soul feeling dumbstruck, yeah alright I love taking impulsive decisions and regret later.

Thirty seconds passed then a minute passed no one responded, bridget slowly pushed the door as she tip toed in the office and found no one there. "Woah, seems like miss yang got a heart attack because there's no way in hell she's not present in her office at this hour" bridget said jokingly on which flora replied

"She won't get a heart attack, she gives everyone a heart attack, and probably she's somewhere doing this right now...but now what should we do, wait here till she comes back or come here later?"

"I don't know girl"

"I guess.. let's just wait here for another few more minutes" I said as they agreed. Few more minutes passed us standing like this in front of her office silently and right when we heard someone's footsteps approaching us

"You need to check everything in the auditorium-" the brunette haired lady in her mid thirties said to the other women who were following her steps, maybe she was her assistant, i assumed.. As she looked at us she questioned with a rough voice which almost sounds High-pitched to my ears "What are you doing here, girls" her face was emotionless with her eyes heavy from the sleep deprivation as if she was working for so long.

"Miss Yang, umm... she's moon, the transfer student f-" flora tried to speak but she was already cut off by the principal

"Ohh yeah, i remember. Come in the office" she stated making her way inside the office as her assistant followed her. I was silent because yes she did look scary and now everything slowly makes sense.

As we followed her inside the office she questioned me on which I took a great moment to respond to because I was lost in my dreamland. "Your full name?" She asked with the same voice.

"Umm...Moon Collins" She was checking some files which were piled up on her well organised desk.

"Yes Miss moon i heard your parents also graduated from here?" She asked another question, eyes scanning those files and then she picked one maybe mine, i mean of course mine

"Yeah you're right, both my parents are the international students transferred here from their individual countries" i replied and she nodded her head smoothly still looking and flipping the pages of the file in her hands.

"Alright" she said passing the file to me "you just need to fill some basic information here, and yeah that's pretty much it" then she looked at me.

with carefully reading everything on the form i filled what i needed to before passing the file back to her as She takes the file from my hands and then asked "And about your dorm-" before she could complete her statement bridget spokes cutting her off

"Miss Yang, our dorm have a room free she can stay with us and also we're best friends since childhood, it will be so pleasant if she stays with us" she said passing a cute smile to the principal which was slightly annoyed her, I can tell the look of her face

"Yeah, I was gonna say that, anyways thank you for your concern Miss Bridget, and can I ask you why you both are not present in your classes since few days" My eyes widened on her sudden question as i felt a tension build up,

"Um..Miss Yang...I was not feeling well for a few days and Bridget was taking care of me, I was having a hard time walking or standing properly dew to weakness" flora exclaimed trying to convince the brunette lady best and little did it worked.

"Okay, but as far as I remember you both already have a roommate, what about her why she leaves your dorm suddenly?" The other lady asked who was silent the whole time, And I have no clue about this, i tried to peek from the corner of my eyes without moving my head just to see my bestfriends fucked out faces and yeah they are one shade lighter than the original skin tone

"Miss Yang, miss Hong, we don't know about this" flora spoke hesitating a little

"maybe she found a new friend and was uncomfortable with us" Bridget exclaimed

"We're just assuming" and both said together with a small laugh, their faces was much paler than before.

"Hm..okay...y'all can leave now and you can join the lectures from Monday Miss Moon. And..oh yeah, today is the freshers party I hope I'll see you there"

"Yeah sure Miss Yang" i replied smiling softly and bowed down a little before making my way out of that suffocating office

"She's a true evil witch, she almost crushed us with her snarky behaviour" bridget stated while she was leaning against the wall exhaling some suffocated breath

"I guess she's not that bad" i said and flora replied

"Woah, bad? she's evil, wait you'll see her reality"

"Enough of this nonsense I need my vitamin peace, my hoonie baby" bridget said walking towards the main gate her movement was faster than usual.

"Vitamin what?" I was confused and flora said

"Here we go again" i looked at her with a confused look she locked her arm with me before pulling me outside. "Let's go, and meet the boys"

____

"There's no way she's acting all desperate for her boyfriend. I mean, I know she's obsessed, but—"

"Babe, they share the same exact brain cells. It's like if they didn't meet one day, they might die. I know Bridget has a crack in her brain, but Sunghoon? He's whipped like cake icing."

"Hoonie baby!" Bridget spotted her 6-foot-tall boyfriend and his friends roaming around the campus. She called his name, and like a magnet, he ran towards her, lifting her into a hug as they both giggled softly.

"I can see clearly now," I admitted, feeling a sudden wave of disappointment hitting my face because my mother never allowed me to date anyone. "Anyway, I'm happy for Bridget. They're the best."

"How's my princess?" Her boyfriend asked, cupping her face and caressing her cheek with his thumb.

"Aghh, that witch pissed me off."

"Miss Yang? Her brother starts acting the same as her... he's evil too," he said, laughing.

"Not like her. She always provokes him, pinching his nerves, and then he acts insane," Flora stated. I didn't know who they were talking about, but I was curious to know the whole story.

"Hello, gorgeous," an unfamiliar voice spoke as they tapped on my shoulder. When I turned, I saw him. "I'm Jake. Pleasure to meet you," he said, extending his hand for a handshake.

"Oh, hi... Jake," I said, extending my hand to complete the handshake. Instead, he turned my hand and gently pressed his soft lips against the back of it, making my cheeks turn red.

"Jake, seriously? Can you be normal for once? We're trying to make a good impression here," another man said, pushing Jake slightly. "Don't mind him, dear. He's just like that. By the way, I'm Sunoo," he said, smiling at me, and I giggled as I greeted him.

"Sunoo, you're doing the same thing," Jake yelled.

"What? I'm just greeting her. You're scaring her."

"Enough, both of you," another man walked between them, his hair cherry red. "I'm sorry on behalf of these two. They're just too excited to meet you. I'm Heeseung. Nice to meet you."

"Oh, I think I'm just a popular person among you all," I laughed, feeling embarrassed.

"Don't be embarrassed, babe. They're just like that," Flora said with a sarcastic edge.

"Yeah, way too excited. They've been talking about you in the dorm as well. I'm Jay," another one greeted.

"And I'm Niki."

"He's the youngest and the most mischievous," Bridget said, pointing to Niki, who just laughed.

"I'm Sunghoon, you already know... Maybe," Bridget's boyfriend said, his voice calm as Bridget remained in his arms.

"Yeah, your girlfriend talks about you a lot," I said, chuckling.

"Really?" He looked at her. "Maybe she just loves me too much."

"Yup, exactly," Bridget said, softly pecking his lips.

"Guys, these things should've done in private."

"Oh, don't be jealous, Jakey," she said as they all laughed.

"How was your journey from Seattle?" Heeseung asked as I exhaled deeply and replied.

"It was exhausting, but seeing them gave me an energy boost."

"Jay hyung is also from Seattle," Niki said as Jay nodded, his expression thoughtful.

"Oh," i exclaimed, my brows furrowing as a flicker of recognition crossed my face. "Wait... why do I think I've seen you before?" I asked, his eyes narrowing in curiosity.

"I was thinking the same," jay replied, a hint of surprise in his voice. "Are you the same girl from grade 5?" he said, his tone reflecting his own realization.

"Whoa, yes, I think so,.... Jay, you moved to Korea?" I asked, turning to Jay.

"Yeah, it was a great journey, but I didn't think you were the same person when I heard about you," Jay said, a smile playing on his lips.

"Same... you've changed a lot," i observed as my gaze softening as remembering our past encounters, we were kids thought

"Do you guys know each other?" Flora asked, her curiosity piqued.

"Yeah, we're in the same grade when I moved to Seattle, and he helped me a lot because I had no friends and I struggled a lot academically," i explained, "But eventually, he moved out a year later."

"Oh," Flora said, nodding in understanding.

"It's good that you both already know each other," Heeseung said, smiling warmly.

"Yeah, but that was only for a year, and we were kids back then. Honestly, I forgot a lot of things that happened back then," Jay exclaimed, chuckling lightly.

"Exactly," I laughed, feeling a sense of ease settling in as we continued chatting and getting to know each other better. I found myself really enjoying the company.

"Oh, have you eaten anything yet?" Jake asked, his voice laced with concern. Suddenly, my stomach growled, drawing attention to the fact that I had been neglecting my hunger for quite some time.

"Noo," I admitted with an awkward smile creeping onto my face.

"Moon, this is not good for you. You've just come here, and already you're neglecting your meals. Huh? This is so wrong; you should take care of yourself," Sunoo lectured me in a manner reminiscent of my mother whenever I skipped meals. Despite feeling scolded, I couldn't help but feel loved and appreciated by their concern. Each of them was so thoughtful, and I felt lucky to be surrounded by such caring friends.

"Oh, shit, how could I forget about lunch," Bridget exclaimed, holding her head in frustration.

"Because you only had eyes for Sunghoon," Flora teased, her tone playful yet teasing.

"Yeah, whatever... FLORA," Bridget retorted, her frustration evident as she playfully scolded flora. "You should've remembered this even if I forgot."

"Hey, don't come to me; you've said I need my vitamin peace and ran straight out of the office." Flora said, not losing any chance to backfire her with her replies.

"Hyungs, noona let's go and have lunch, and let them have their fight with each other here" niki said as i chuckled and before nodding my head.

"Okay, but let's not eat in the cafeteria and go to our favourite place" jay suggested, as sunoo replied

"Yeah please, I'm starving too and the food in that place is always so good"

"Were going, complete your fight and then come and have lunch together" sunghoon said as he walked leading all of us to the cars.

"Wait we are coming" flora and Bridget shouted from behind.

"Hurry up, I'm starving" I said chuckling over their behaviour.

"Bills on Jake because he flirted" heeseung said, laughing.

"I'm not the only one you both also flirted with her" Jake said, sulking as I just laughed.

･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ･ ✩ ･ﾟ ･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ･

@moonbxbiee all right reserved. Do not translate or post my work anywhere without permission.

(Open) Taglist- @ineedcoffeeandtherapy @ilovejungwonandhaechan @wonkifangirl @jwonistic

#moonbxbiee #enhypen #enhypen smau #jungwon #jungwon fluff #jungwon hard hours #jungwon smau #yang jungwon #enhypen jungwon #jungwon enhypen #enha social media au #enha smau #enha #enha fluff #enha fanfic #enhypen fanfiction #enhypen fluff #kpop smau #jay enhypen #jake enhypen #heeseung enhypen #sunghoon enhypen #sunoo enhypen #niki enhypen #moonbxbieejungwon #kpop #engene #writers on tumblr #smau

[greekwarriors]

( florence pugh  +  twenty-five  +  she/her  )  look who has entered camp halfblood college !  meet DAVEN RICHARDS ,  the child of IRIS .  they have been living in long island for three years and are currently studying arts. when someone describes them, they are often described as HONEST and POSSESSIVE.  zeus believes she is responsible for stealing the lightning bolt but is that something they are capable of doing?

basic:

full name: Daven Richards nicknames: Sour Skittles gender: cis female pronouns: she/her sexuality: queer aesthetics: a mouthful sour skittles, a rainbow light across the wall, watchful eyes age: 25 date of birth: May 5th zodiac sign: Taurus  residence: Cabin 14 occupation: Art Student species: demigod powers: Photokinesis, the powers to bend and control light

appearance

faceclaim: Florence Pugh height: 5'4" eyes: rainbow, her eyes can become any color hair: Blonde, right now. She have different colors every week. piercings: Multiple on her ears, nose and belly button tattoos: none at the moment

tldr;

Daven never knew about her mother. It was always just her and her Dad.

As a child, she a happy and colorful child. Always breaking out the crayons and paints.

Before high school, she was quiet and well behaved kid. But after constant moving, Daven was slowly getting annoyed with her father.

In high school, she started to hang out with a different group of girls. Ones that didn't care much for rules. Her struggles with learning in classes didn't help either.

She started to sneak out, go to parties, drinking. She didn't care much about anything. She just wanted to get done with school and move to a big city like Seattle or LA.

Daven had a skill for the arts. She loved to construct strange and colorful pieces of art. Anything with every and all colors.

after graduation, Daven said goodbye to her father and moved out on her own. Even if it was against his wishes. He wanted to her to be near him but she wasn't listening to him.

just hours after her 21th birthday, Daven was at a party celebrating. She was drunk and she swear she was getting a stink eye from someone there. What she didn't know was that monsters had finally caught her scent.

She was chased out the of party by this monster until she was rescued by a nearby satyr that took her to Camp Half Blood.

There it was explained what she was. She was the daughter of the goddess Iris. She didn't spend to long at camp due to her age.

Half Blood College was her only option to stay safe. She learned to come to terms and started to attend.

For the next three years, everything was going great. She was doing her art and she was learning how to fight monsters.

HCS

her hair color changes every month. could be changed to natural colors or bright wild colors.

she makes colorful sculptures/ art pieces for her mother, Iris

Iris gave her a gift of a bag of rainbow dust when she first arrived at camp. She can use to make unlimited Iris messages or use it was a weapon to blind enemies.

CONNECTIONS:

Cabin Siblings: She is VERY protective of her siblings.

Friends from 11: Iris and Hermes are both massagers' god. Also she would love to be involved with their fun.

Friends from Cabin 1 & 3: Rainbows being connected to both the sky and sea, Daven has an interest in them.

Enemies: Mostly likely from cabin 10. These are the types of people she likes to avoid. And she mostly likely teases any Aphrodite children

Straight girl crush: She is queer. And there are few pretty girls at camp and she knows she can never get with

Gay crush: Lets go Lesbians!

Other LGBTQ+ campers: Gays got to stick together.

#dhqzintro #[ ❥ ] : ꜱᴏᴜʀ ꜱᴋɪᴛᴛʟᴇꜱ ➜ intro ™

[desensed]

𝙱𝚁𝙾𝙲𝙰𝙳𝙴𝙳 𝙽𝙾𝚃 𝚆𝙸𝚃𝙷 𝙿𝙴𝙰𝚁𝙻𝚂 𝙱𝚄𝚃 𝚆𝙸𝚃𝙷 𝙼𝚈 𝚃𝙴𝙰𝚁𝚂

ᚠᚱᛟᛗ  ⸻  davika hoorne. cis woman. she/her. ⸻  i saw  JADE BUNPENG  around  THE COLONY HOUSE, you know? the 31 years old that was driving from  SEATTLE  when they saw the tree on the road.  JADE  has been here for  6 MONTHS  and i think they were  A KINDERGARTEN TEACHER  before they got stuck in the town. with the way things are now, they are now struggling to maintain a sense of normalcy and  seek a way out without losing themselves or dying.  lets hope you at least survive the night. ⸻

GENERAL   INFORMATION.  ⸻

full   name   : jade bunpeng

nickname(s) : jay

age : 31 years old

gender   identity : cis woman

orientation : bisexual

place   of   birth : forks , washington     

date   of   birth : march 7 1992      

former   occupation : kindergarten teacher

3   positive traits : patient , openminded , nurturing  

3   negative traits  : emotional , hardheaded , fearful

moral alignment  : lawful neutral

faceclaim  : davika hoorne

TOWN   INFORMATION.  ⸻

current   residency : colony house 

current   occupation : laundry person

BIOGRAPHY.  ⸻

grew up in forks, washington and stayed there for the majority of her life. her childhood was easy going and mostly carefree. with beautiful parents who loved and adored her, though sometimes to the point of exhaustion, jade had a great upbringing. she is particularly close with her parents due to being the only child in her home, and is a big family person.

after graduating high school, it was obvious to jade what she wanted to do for the rest of her life. being so family oriented, jade knew becoming a teacher would fulfill her until the end of her days. being around children always gave her joy, and she knew it would be the perfect fit for her.

living in a small town yielded a much harder time finding a job than she would have preferred. because of this, she chose to move to seattle when she turned 20 and housed with her cousins for most of her early adulthood. *

at 26 she met the love of her life, and the two of them moved into a home together where they lived the perfect life. jade was set to get married at the end of the year, though it seems cruel fate had other plans. she had been driving home from visiting venues when she saw the tree, and the rest is history.

she was a lil apprehensive about being here at first, but is now falling into a more normal stride of living.

WANTED CONNECTIONS.  ⸻

her cousins that she moved in with ! or could also be some other cousin / distant cousin if they did not come from the seattle area. she would love to have some family to rely on while being trapped here

the love of her life !! would work for some great angst and perhaps they have grown so far apart now that she has been missing for so long ? WHO KNOWS !

new lovers ,,, hehe

friends of course , she's a sweet gorl and has lots of love to give

ppl she's accidentally eavesdropped on while washin clothes ( eyes emoji )

protector !! she's a scaredy cat, so will need someone to hold on scary nights

#from.intro

[rainydawgradioblog]

Nobu Performs at the Seattle Symphony and I subsequently cry my eyes out

There is nothing quite like the solidarity that you get from silently wiping away your tears at the symphony as the fellow next to you does the same thing. I think Rachmaninoff just has that effect on people.

I went to see Rachmaninoff’s Piano Concerto No. 2 on January 28th, performed by Nobuyuki Tsujii (also referred to as Nobu by his fans) on the piano and the Seattle Symphony conducted by Jiří Rožeň. I hadn’t realized how famous Tsujii was until I showed up to Benaroya Hall. It was a packed house with a lot more people my own age in attendance than what you typically see with the usual symphony crowd. Despite my ignorance about Nobu’s notoriety, I was about to discover the reason for this justifiable fame soon enough. Nobu’s dynamic sensitivity was absolutely sublime, at times it seemed his fingers were merely brushing against the keys and then, just moments after, he would bring the piano up to its full capacity, all the while not sacrificing any clarity. It would be remiss to not mention that Nobu is fully blind, which makes his talent all the more awe-inspiring, given that he has to commit everything he plays to memory without the use of sheet music and goes purely off of listening to specialized recordings. As for the choice in music, it resonated perfectly with me in my current state. As someone who often finds themselves struggling with the blight of seasonal affective disorder in the Seattle winters, reading the program about how Rachmaninoff wrote his second concerto as he was exiting a depression made the music feel like a deliverance. The encore was an etude by Nikolai Kapustin, and I always feel my ego puff up a bit when I can recognize the encore, since it is not listed in the program and the pianist often doesn’t say what they've just played. I could truly appreciate the level of Nobu’s virtuosity with the Kapustin etude, as I had since recovered from the emotional journey Rachmaninoff had put me through, and my vision was no longer blurred by my tears.

Nobu’s performance was sandwiched between two beautiful works by Czech composers. The conductor, Jiří Rožeň, who specializes in works by Czech composers, led the charge with Dvořák’s Carnival Overture. I had never heard the piece prior to this performance, but it was delightful all the same. The night was closed out with Martinů’s Symphony No. 6, which was also new to me, but seemed to be in keeping with what I have heard from the composer in the past. The dissonance that Martinů employs often makes me think, “oh god that’s awful, I love it.” The joy of going to the symphony is that it is consistently introducing me to new pieces, even though I usually only buy tickets for the shows that are headlined by works that I already know.

Every so often, living in the Seattle area graces me with the opportunity to see a world class musician. I’m not entirely sure how to capture what I mean by “world class,” but I do know that it is a rare virtuosity, and outside of just technical perfection, it is a performance that has emotional breadth. I’m not particularly religious but sometimes it seems to me that some musicians have been sent down from on high. Perhaps they are connecting to a universal plane that is always there, but only occasionally tapped into. I experience shivers that start at the top of my head and travel to the tips of my fingers, and if that in itself is not a religious experience, I'm not sure what is. I felt it when I saw Daniil Trifonov perform back in November, and then again with Nobuyuki Tsujii. I am beyond excited for Rach Fest which is coming up in April. If you plan on attending, remember to wear waterproof mascara. 

Photo credits go to Brandon Patoc, and special thanks to Courtney from the Seattle Symphony's PR team for helping me in my pursuit of becoming a regular symphony attendee.

Xoxo, Addie

[stackholmes87]

driver talent pro 8.0.10.58

Paris, I only say to you, keep going with your day-to-day. You are living it! Congrats! Since we get to the lot people then you're a role model for new ways and values for living life-style. I like that. I worked many together with screwed up lives throughout lifetime as being a psychologist. I affirm the pain you are doing, because see it from the media. Ah So! They possess a skill and then a desire for perfection, all of the how they get their name: Master Craftsmen. Presented alive once they master specific craft utilizing their five senses in our. They are thinkers driver talent pro objective decisions logically and rationally. They will do what's right and are motivated by principles and values. CF Adam Jones - Jones displayed five-tool potential in the minors in Seattle, hitting a total of 43 HR component of his last a couple of years in AAA while displaying excellent athleticism and natural hitting skill level. He struggled a while with the Orioles in 2008, posting a generally.711 OPS in 1st full season in the majors, kind of of numbers you could see from Pie this week. But Jones has a far higher ceiling than Pie end result of his great power potential, and may be a 20-25 HR guy for years to come if he realizes of which. Jones needs function with on his plate discipline, as he has walked just using 4.5% of his plate appearances like a pro, in order to striking out 24.5% among the time. Uncover him enhance this year, but it would be to some extent early can be a breakout to superstar status. You might fall right into a career by chance. I didn't actually choose my career in sales and marketing, it chose me. Even when driver talent pro Activation Key didn't try, I still was able to make sales. After i did actually work, I always found myself competing that's not a problem best professionals. I personally would love to just be a musician and ing. I have actually made several thousand dollars the particular years playing music, but after 10 years and a pair of albums, I know that my calling is probably sales and marketing, otherwise more than likely I would personally have launched a better living at music than orders. David was a true inspirational leader, along with the way he handled our tomfoolery on crowd scene night would be a perfect illustration showing how he used his appreciation (and his capacity to bring an awareness of of appreciation out every and every of us) as a central tool in his leadership toolbox. Thus it's serious in life. One person's kills another human being and makes others wither. How do you deal this kind of? Why should a murderer be allowed to live when that person has not allowed another person to live? Yet, if the killer is killed, would someone who as a person kills someone else in any sort of accident be permitted to live. Your life for an existence. The principle is simple a satisfactory amount of. The simple goal for writing this letter would be that there is not wrong with wanting to become successful, only make sure that whatever is certainly that you pursue, a person need to follow most things that you either already have a talent for, or you may also is obtainable. I met a Pro Race Car Driver quite a few ago, who gave me some advice about becoming a race car driver. After i asked him how I would obtain gonna do it . success, he simply asked me, "Do you have a rich the father?" I got the point, I hope you do to.

#DRIVER TALENT PRO

[egcarlos]

“Dreaming with your eyes wide open”

“Dreaming with your eyes wide open”

My first Christmas with Rio is passing itself off as quiet. Yamini is at work all week. My parents are stuck in the snow in Seattle. So I decided to just take it easy for the weekend and enjoy time with someone I’m only starting to just figure out. It’s been such a joy to see him grow these past few months; he started off roughly around 6 lbs, helpless and monkey-like to now, he’s starting to try different table foods, flip himself over front to back on the floor and adding on to his vocabulary of babbles. I’ll admit that I was scared becoming a father, I’m sure everyone is afraid of becoming a parent, but honestly, it felt as if I was about to lose myself; I was about to lose time for myself to play tennis, hang out with friends and go on trips. There was this sense of, well, I don’t want to say regret, but maybe a kind of bitterness to having a kid, because, to put it simply, I was selfish. And now, spending days with him, see him develop, grow, babble, smile, hold my hand, smelling his head, feeding him different foods, having him touch different things, I just can’t get enough of it. I really can’t. It’s so amazing that it’s making me tear as I write this. I love being a father and I love him so much. The way I feel about life right now, it feels like I’m dreaming with my eyes wide open, from that song “Come Alive” In the Greatest Showman. There is nothing in this world that can make me happier, and I owe God, life, the universe, whatever you decide to call this sense of order in disorder, or how the whole is always greater than the sum of its parts or this sense of peace in a seemingly mad world. I look at my life and I know that I’ve been given so much that there will always be this sense of obligation that this life is not my own. I am living in Los Angeles, I have a beautiful wife who loves me for who I am, I have a family who have supported me through all the crazy things that I decide to do with my life. I know, deep down, that this life is not mine. I came to Los Angeles July of 2021 and went back into training at USC to become not only an HIV specialist, but more grounded and trained in underserved medicine. The past year and a half have been amazing and the experience I gained is priceless. I came here because I still remember my experience in South Sudan, my very first job out of residency and with Doctors Without Borders. I still think about my work, my time there, my colleagues and the people I was fortunate to help every single day. I came to Los Angeles and was given this opportunity to learn so that I can do something more, reach my potential so that I can give back to the very best way that I can. I know that I have a family and a son now. It’ll be the hardest thing leaving Yamini, and now Rio when it is time, but once again, I know that this life is not mine. I’ve been given so much. And there are those, by just a matter of luck and happen stance that are struggling to survive. I am here in the US, living my life, hoping the best for my son and my family, and yet, there are those, not only as far as the other side of the ocean, but also as close as a few streets from my apartment struggling to survive. What should I do with that knowledge? Should I take the blue pill and live a life of ignorance? Should I forget about what I have seen? I have no idea where these thoughts, these reflections will take me. I think about this every day. This will continue to influence my choices and decisions for the rest of my life. For now, I’ll spend my time loving Rio as best as I can. I’ll take him everywhere that I can take him and have him taste whatever I can put in his mouth. I’ll simply enjoy being the best father that I can. I know though, some time this upcoming year, the time is right again to get back out there; to pursue, what I believe God has put me in this world to pursue, to give back to the very best that I can to this life that I know that I can never deserve. Also, because, I decided to take the red pill a long time ago. I’ll continue to live my life as if I’m dreaming with my eyes wide open.

[apocalypticbadass]

Sapphic Vampire Lovers (Smut)

A/N: Hey guysss it’s Alice smut time. Haven't been able to get the woman out of my head recently so here are my musings. You live with the Cullens and Alice is your girlfriend, but no one at school knows. You’re basically an adopted sibling so I might refer to the kiddos as your brother/sister. Also I’m not saying Alice can't see the future in this but like...lowkey...it’s hard as hell to write for her when she already knows everything lol.

Warnings: Smut, cursing, I think that’s it.

----

You sighed loudly as Mike Newton continued to prattle on about unimportant matters by your side. The bell signaled the beginning of class, and you feigned an apologetic look, which Mike believed wholeheartedly as he scurried to his seat. Poor boy. You turned to Emmett, your “brother” who sat next to you in Chem.

“He doesn’t give up, does he?” Emmett snickered.

You shook your head and sighed. “Oh shut it, Em.”

“You should just turn him away at this point. It’s going too far. Alice is starting to really notice.”

“Wait actually? She can’t possibly think I would ever pick Mike Newton over her.” You replied, getting quite nervous that Alice might be upset with you.

“I’m just sayin’. He’s always flirting with you, the last thing you want is for Alice to get the wrong idea.” “Yeah, you're right. Thanks Em.”

He smiled at you and ruffled your hair before you both turned towards the front to pay some attention to your teacher. You couldn’t sit still for the entirety of class, Emmett kept having to pull your hands out of your mouth to stop you from biting your nails or rest his hand on your knee to keep your leg from bouncing. The bell rang after a painfully long class, and all you wanted was to get out of there. It was the last period of the day, so you and Emmett grabbed your things and booked it out of class, he understood your desire to leave. What the both of you had missed while you were too busy worrying about your anxiety, was that Mike Newton had left class 10 minutes early with Eric Yorkie and Tyler Crowley. How Emmett’s incredible hearing and sight had missed that, you’ll never know. Or maybe he just thought it was unimportant. The rest of your family caught up with you, and Alice linked her arm in yours.

“Hi baby.” She said with a smile.

“Hi Ali.” You answered, nuzzling into her shoulder as you walked.

As you all got closer to the parking lot, Emmett gasped. “Oh my fucking God...”

“Oh Jesus, here we go.” Rosalie sighed.

Draped across the side of Mike’s minivan, made of canvas and paint, was a sign that read “(Y/N), will you go to prom with me?”

You stopped dead in your tracks.

This could not be happening.

No way was this happening.

You turned, horrified, to look at Alice’s face. She was staring straight ahead, jaw set, eyes unreadable. You softly disconnected your arms and rushed over to Mike, tears threatening to spill from your eyes.

He beamed as he saw your urgency. “So, what do you think?”

“Mike, take it down right now.” You pleaded. “I’m sorry but I won’t go to prom with you.”

His face fell as Eric and Tyler moved to take the sign down and save Mike a little bit of embarrassment.

“I’m sorry Mike, I have to go.”

“Yeah, no, it’s cool.” He said, rubbing the back of his head.

Your family was on your left and they were already getting into the car. Alice was at the back, and you grabbed her wrist while begging her to turn around and talk to you. “Alice, please, can we talk?”

“What is there to talk about?” She spat, venom in her voice. “Clearly you gave him a reason to think he should ask you. You’re very friendly, and I love that about you, but I think flirting with someone when you have a girlfriend is way too far.” “Alice you know I would never do that. You know how loyal I am to you, Mike could never hold a candle to you. I swear I’ve never flirted with him in my life, he’s just obsessed or something.” Your eyes shone with tears. “Please, baby. Trust me, not him. I swear on my life I only love you.”

You could see the slightest softening of her defensive exterior as your (y/e/c) eyes bore into her deep amber ones.

She stepped closer to you and sighed. “You’re right, I’m overreacting, I suppose. You haven’t given me any reason to believe that you’d flirt with him.” Alice placed her lips below your ear. “Unfortunately for you, you’ll have to pay for poor Mike’s mistake. I’ll have to remind you who you belong to, just incase you needed a refresher.”

Your breath caught in your throat, a blush creeping onto your cheeks since you knew that your family could hear you quite clearly from inside the car.

“I’ll meet you at home.” She said before turning on her heel to walk home, she’d be back before the rest of you.

You got in the car behind the passenger seat, head in your hands as Emmett laughed from the other side of the car. “What did I tell you?”

“Drop it, McCarty.” You glared at him.

“She’ll come around.” Jasper said, hand on your knee. “She’s not actually mad, just jealous that he can be so carefree with his feelings while you both have to hide yours.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Just sucks.” “At least you’ll get good sex out of it.” Rosalie said nonchalantly, looking at her nails, which she had painted last night.

“Get some!” Emmett cheered, which made you bust out laughing.

The car ride home was comfortably quiet, everyone else’s mind wandering to other things, Rosalie and Edward speaking to one another in a nearly inaudible tone.

Butterflies fluttered in your stomach when you pulled up to the Cullen house, met by Alice leaning against her Porsche, arms folded neatly across her chest. Jasper squeezed your shoulder in encouragement, feeling your nerves flow, and eased your anxiety as best as he could, one last time. Alice got in the car before you could get over to her, and just before she shut the door, she gave you a “come hither” motion. You opened the passenger door and sat carefully inside of the car, careful not to track in any mud.

“Hi.” You said softly as she began to drive.

“Hello.”

You fell into silence, zoning out while looking out the window, wondering where the hell you were going. You tried very hard not to let her know how nervous you were, but the attempt was futile because she could hear your erratic heartbeat.

“Where exactly are we going?” You managed to say, in a calmer voice than you thought you could muster.

“You’ll see. It’ll be fun.” She said lightly, tossing you a wink.

20 minutes later, Alice pulled into a hotel parking lot, probably the fanciest building you had ever seen. You knew you were in Seattle, but had never been to this secluded area with these fancy buildings. You felt severely underdressed, the both of you casual, but her level of fashion much higher than yours, her walk far more graceful. She gave the keys to the valet as they pulled luggage out of the trunk. Alice took one bag for herself and handed one to you. She kept her hand on the small of your back and led you through the massive glass doors, which were opened for you of course. The gorgeous decor of the lobby kept your gaze until Alice had signed you both in.

“Come on now, love.” Her voice was like melted honey.

Your gaze flipped to her and you followed her to the elevator, where she pushed the button for the top floor. Your eyes went wide as you remembered peering up to the peak of the building and how high it was. As you stepped out, there was one single door in front of you. Alice swiftly unlocked it and ushered you inside, bolting the lock shut immediately. As you walked around in awe, you felt yourself being whisked away, vision blurring as Alice ran you both into the bedroom, where she tossed you onto the silk duvet. Her dainty, but incredibly strong hands pushed your shoulders back onto the bed. 

“What to do with you?” She pretended to think before pulling a pair of cuffs from behind her back. 

You bit your lip as you felt butterflies down below. Your wrists were in one of her hands in a second, cuffed to the headboard before you could even blink. “Are you going to be good for me, darling?”

“Yes baby, I will.”

“Good.” She muttered into your ear, tearing your shirt off to suck on the exposed skin of your breasts. All you wanted to do was tangle your fingers into her short hair as she marked your body. Your wrists audibly struggled against your confines and you groaned. Alice laughed. She tore your bra off in a fluid motion, gently worrying one of your nipples between her teeth.

You sucked in a breath. “Ali, please. Wanna touch you.”

She swiftly flipped you onto your stomach. “No ma’am. Not allowed.”

She then pulled your pants and underwear off in one go, leaving you completely exposed. Alice slid a finger towards your clit, circling it slowly. You whined and squirmed, so she ripped all contact away from you. You felt her cool breath at your ear and her disapproving tsk. “I thought you said you were going to be good for me.”

“I’m sorry, I’ll be good. I promise.”

“You better.” She replied, swiftly inserting one finger into your vagina. You took a sharp breath through your nose, trying to keep still. She curled her finger into your g-spot at an incredible pace, causing you to take a mouthful of the bedsheets to keep yourself quiet. She was pleasantly surprised at how good you were being, so she added another finger, scissoring you open. It took absolutely everything in you to just stay still and quiet.

Once you felt stretched enough, she placed a kiss at the base of your spine and retracted all contact, flashing across the room to grab a bag. You were unable to see this, but her clothes were off in an instant, and she had fastened one of her many straps around her hips. She’d chosen your favorite attachment, a hot pink dildo that measured around 7.5 inches. She leaned down to whisper in your ear while allowing the toy to nestle into the cleft of your butt.

“You’re not even gonna remember Mike Newton’s name after this.”

With that comment, she slid the tip of the toy into your entrance, slowly pushing into you, stretching you all the way out. “You can make noise now, love.” She purred.

Immediately, a string of profanities left your mouth. “Holy fuck, baby, you feel so fucking good inside me.”

After a few moments, you felt her icy hips hit your butt, felt her lips sucking marks onto your shoulder blades. “Move please, baby.” You whined, trying not to struggle against her. She pulled out of you slowly, and entered you once more. Taking her time, Alice picked up a pace that made your toes curl, she hit your g-spot every single time.

“Jesus fuck, Ali, God you’re so good. Feels so good, so fucking good, babygirl.” You babbled on as she drilled you into the bed at an inhuman pace, hands tangled into your hair.

“You just needed a little reminder, didn’t you, doll? Just needed to remember who you belong to. Mike Newton could never fuck you this good.” She growled, nipping at your earlobe. You wanted to make a sarcastic remark, but your words couldn't get past the way Alice was making you feel. Your clit gained some friction as each thrust pushed your body into the mattress a little further.

“Alice I’m so fucking close babes, please don’t fucking stop.” You cried out, the inferno in your stomach threatening release.

“Come for me, love.”

With her words, you came hard, squirting all over the duvet, leaving it soaked. Alice pushed all the way into you and stilled for a moment, relishing. “You were so good for me, babygirl. So beautiful.” She praised, pulling out of you and flipping you over.

“Wanna taste you.” You whined. “Sit on my face.”

Alice smirked at you and quickly unfastened the strap before positioning her dripping pussy over your mouth, settling softly with a moan. She had remained untouched until now, so the contact was quite welcome. “Christ, babe. Your mouth feels so good.”

Your tongue explored her walls, licking every surface, nose bumping her clit every so often. She leaned back and placed her hands on your thighs, squeezing them softly to get a grip. You moved to her clit, lips wrapping around it and drawing it into your mouth, eliciting a sharp gasp from your lover. You fervently continued, fully putting your mouth to work.

“Please, gonna come.” She rasped out, just before coating your face with her slick. “Oh my God, (y/n), so incredible.” Alice moaned while you continued to suck on her, drawing out her orgasm. You gazed at her with doe eyes from between her legs before she got off of you, reaching for the key to unlock your cuffs. She rubbed your wrists to soothe them before nuzzling into your neck and tangling her legs into yours.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get over the way you taste.” You said after a few moments of silence.

Alice giggled. “I can absolutely say the same for you. That was amazing.”

“Totally. I love you. Sorry Mike asked me to prom.”

She let out a belly laugh, pulling you on top of her. “No need to apologize. I’m sorry for overreacting, quite dumb of me to be honest.”

“It upsets you that we can’t express our emotions for each other as freely as Mike can express his emotions for me.” “I just wish people could understand our love, understand that our gender is totally irrelevant.” She sighed, stroking your hips as she spoke. “I just love you so much and I wish I was able to show it in public without fear of something happening to you. God forbid anyone got violent.” “I know, baby, it’s really scary sometimes.” You cupped her face, stroking her cheekbone with one hand, combing through her hair with the other.

“I don’t want to say it, but you know what I’m thinking.” Alice whispered, expression growing serious.

“I’ve been thinking about it recently as well, I think we have to do it. Sometime soon, I want to be with you forever. We’ll set a date.”

Alice gave you a lopsided grin. “Can’t wait to be sapphic vampire lovers until the end of time.” 

You laughed, leaning down to kiss her. “Oh hell yeah.”

#alice cullen #the cullens #alice cullen imagine #alice cullen x reader #alice cullen smut #alice cullen x reader smut #twilight #new moon #eclipse #breaking dawn #midnight sun #vampire #sapphic #lesbian

[barbecuebabybackribs]

Being in a Poly relationship with Emmett and Rosalie would include:

(Gender Neutral Pronouns

I hope you guys enjoy this! It just popped into my head so I decided to write it out for all of y’all. Also this is super long!! Just a heads up, Enjoy and stay safe guys:) )

To say you surprised them would be a big understatement

They’d both be really conflicted- neither of them wanted to admit they wanted to pursue you

Edward would take pity on them

“Emmett, Rosalie, you both want to be with Y/N- the other won’t be upset if you admit it.”

“...”

Emmett is absolutely pumped- having one mate? Amazing, fabulous. But having two? ABSOLUTE HEAVEN

Rosalie is a bit more conflicted- you’re a human, so fragile and vulnerable. Being around her would mean you’re constantly at risk, not to mention the fact that you becoming a vampire at one point or another shakes her to her very core.

Emmett agree’s to not ask you out until Rosalie is comfortable with it, IF, she agrees to befriend you in the meantime

The next time your in the cafeteria- sitting alone picking at the cheap school lunch, when two people sit at the table with you

When you look up you realize Emmett is on your left and Rosalie is on your right- your surrounded by the schools power couple- the schools very attractive power couple

“Um, Hello?” you say nervously due to the fact they never interact with others outside of there family- let alone you.

“Hello, I’m Rosalie, your Y/N, Right?”

“Yeah, and I know you, You’re Rosalie Hale, and That’s Emmett Cullen, your basically the talk of the school.”

“Oh really? So what have they been saying about us?” Emmett would laugh- knowing some of the rumors going around town were a bit wild.

You’d talk for the rest of the lunch period, telling them about yourself and all the rumors about them- some as simple as Rosalie being a bleached blonde, some being that Emmett ran a satanic sex cult and Rosalie flirts with people to lure them in- that one had Emmett and Rosalie nearly rolling on the floor with laughter

For the next week they’d always sit with you at lunch and you started to consider them friends

The next week they showed up after your last class and walked you to your car

The next week at lunch they started telling you about how they were heading up to Seattle during the weekend

“Hey you know what? You should go with us!”

“Oh? I would hate to impose and be a third wheel.”

“Come on, we’d love to have you there.” Emmett would smile and wrap and arm around you.

You’d look to Rosalie to see if she was okay with it, She had a smile on her face so you assumed she was down

“Yeah, it does sound like fun.”

They’d pick you up from your house the next day in their Jeep

Emmett was blaring music which caused you neighbors to give you a dirty look

Emmett insists you see the “Gum Wall” Which was both interesting a gross

Rosalie takes you to the top of the Space Needle

Rosalie almost has a heart attack- if that were possible- when you stand up to fast and get light headed

Emmett forces you to sit back down and tries to keep Rosalie from calling Carlisle

“I’m sorry guys, I just got light-headed since I haven’t eaten yet today.”

They both forgot you had human needs and Rosalie sits with you scolding you for not telling them you were hungry earlier while Emmett finds food for you

Comes back essentially holding enough food to feed 20 people

“UM! That’d a lot!”

“Well I didn’t know what you wanted so I got one of everything.”

You awkwardly eat as much as you can- offering a lot of it to them and being a tad confused when they decline

You end up giving the leftovers to homeless people

You end up having an amazing day, they take you and bid you farewell- saying you had to do it more often

Watching them drive away you realize you’d fallen for them

You low key feel guilty and the next time the sit with you, you can’t get the thought of you being a horrible person and homewrecker out of your head- I mean they’re in love with each other, who are you to think you even stand a chance?

They both realize something’s off with you and ask Edward later that day if he noticed anything in your thoughts- even though Rosalie told him to stay out of your head.

He tells them what you had been conflicted about

They’re conflicted

Emmett’s pumped you officially like them- and both of them, part of him was worried about you only falling for one of them

Rosalie was happy you shared there feelings but the fact you thought negatively of yourself because of them ate her up.

Rosalie tells Emmett it’s time to consider asking you out,

It still takes them a few weeks to officially ask but suddenly your receiving presents from them and being invited to all kinds of outings

You make them string friendship bracelets and they think it’s the cutest thing in the world- they both wear them 24/7

Movie “Outings”

Hiking “Outings”

Port Angela’s “Outings”

Going to lunch wear only you eat 

Getting ice cream where only you eat.

Basically any human thing they can do, you’re right there next to them

Emmett takes you to play football and only laughs at how bad you are

You’re jaw drops to the floor when you see Emmett throw the ball out of the field

“How the hell?!?”

“Oops, to much power in that one.”

Rosalie takes you on a self pamper day

Hair- Check . Nails- Check. skin Care- Check. Gossip- Check.

You go home that day having dirt on everyone in the town

One day your surprised to see they aren’t waiting for you after class, you stick around for a few minutes to see if they’re late- but they never show

Eventually you head to your car and see them waiting for you there and they finally officially ask you out

Rosalie starts to say it but hesitates and Emmett says it for her

“Y/N, We wanna go out with you.”

“... Like... to the movies?”

“No, we mean, we want to date you.” Rosalie says, tightening her grip on Emmett’s hand

Your silent for a few seconds and they’re worried you’’re going to say no

Pleasantly surprised when you break out in a big smile and say “Yes!”

“Awesome.” Emmett says pulling you into long bear hug- which he squeezes a little to tight but you just savor the moment 

Rosalie is standing next to the both of you, absolutely shocked and excited, gets a big smile on her face when she see’s you and Emmett’s smile and hears how fast your heart is beating

You all enjoy your evening together- your smiles never leaving your faces

They drive you home and Rosalie gives you a hug goodbye- which turns into a group hug when Emmett joins

They never tell you but they heard you call your friend practically squealing in excitement as you told them you’d just got back on a date with “Rosalie AND EMMETT”

They both went home down right giddy- they got cornered by Alice, with Jasper and Edward both in the corner snickering

After you officially start dating Emmett and Rosalie don’t hold back

Emmett has picked you up and carried you around school multiple times

Rosalie had to be physically restrained when someone had the audacity to grope your ass

She still gave them a piece of her mind tho- and it’s rumored they never laid a hand on another person again

They help you study and do your homework- they do have lot’s of experience after all

When your parents aren’t home you all stay up late in the living room watching movies- Rosalie finds your mom baby photo album of you and gushes over tiny you

You end up falling asleep on Emmett’s shoulder- Rosalie takes a photo of you two

Dates with each other but also dates where its just you and Rosalie, you and Emmett, or just the two of them

Emmett kisses you first- takes you surprise and kisses you after he dropped you off at home, then drove away with the biggest cheeky grin in the world

Rosalie is low-key jealous they kissed you first

Next time you see Rosalie? She dips you over and gives you a big ole kiss

Smugly smiles when she see’s you have the biggest blush on your face known to man

After the initial kiss it’s just part of the daily norm

A kiss when you first see each-other, when you say goodbye, a random smooch or two threw out the day

You get all kinds of envious glares from others

Also people who just think you’re sickingly cute

Rosalie decides it’s time for you to know about vampires when you start asking why they never eat on your guy’s dates and there eye’s always change colors

Take you on a long hike so there’s no one around to hear, also encase you feel the need to scream in confusion/fear

You think they’re joking at first

That is until Emmett picks up a boulder and throws it like it’s a baseball across the field

You sit down on a log to process for a second

“Y/N... Are you okay?”

“I made out with a vampire... I made out with two vampires... I’m  DATING TWO VAMPIRES!”

You have a million questions and they answer them all

You ask Emmett to pick you up with one hand- he does and laughs at how surprised you are

“You’re like the hulk!”

You dramatically lean against a tree and tell Rosalie she’ll need to carry you back since your just soo tired- you mean it mainly as a joke

To your surprise she carries you bridal style all the way home- laughing at how giddy you are over such a simple thing

They don’t have fully have sex with you while your human but they are willing to do a lot of other things

They forgot how much humans blush at simple things and it makes no-beating hearts ache

Introduction to the family is a bit awkward but pleasant

Esme absolutely adores you and loves cooking you complex dishes

Carlisle is so happy to see you making his “Kids” happy and also is happy that you’re such a lovely person in general

Edward and Alice basically already know everything about you

Alice gets a little to excited and talks about how good of friends you’ll be and how she’s already planning your new wardrobe

Rosalie pry’s her away from you

Edward doesn’t say much to you but is nice, a little moody but nice

Bella makes sure you feel welcome and tells her if your’re ever struggling to come to her because she’s been in the same situation and knows what it’s like 

After meeting them it basically becomes your second home

They get a bed put in there room so you can spend the night

They love cuddling with you while you sleep, adoring how you’ll softly mumble random words

Cute little picnic dates

You watch Rosalie work on cars and attempt to help her

She ends up teaching you the basics

Sometimes you read to her while she works on cars, or you simply keep her company

Emmett and you wrestle a lot- although he obviously always wins besides the few times he lets you win

You’ve randomly leaped onto his back to many time to count- he loves it

You all go on vacation together during the summer

You go to some private beach and gush over how there skin sparkles so beautifully

Rosalie and Emmett nearly die on the spot when they see you get hit by a car

Rosalie holds you while Emmett calls 911

They realize the cops won’t get there in time- but they don’t want to “doom” you to the life of a vampire

“It’s okay guys, you don’t have to do it.” You would smile weakly at them

“Don’t say that, you’ll be fine.”

It was a lie and you all knew it

When your heart beats starts to slow down and you’re eyes flicker closed they silently agree they have to do it

Emmett is the one who bites you- a lump forming in his throat as you groan in pain as the venom starts to take affect

Rosalie cradles you softly as you start your transition- they end up moving you when they hear the ambulance coming close

They calls the rest of the cullens and let them know- Alice had already seen it but she was to late to call and warn them

They all come to you but all silently agree to only let Rosalie and Emmett in the room your in until you’re ready- most newborns want to be alone

When you wake up and your blood red eyes flicker around the room, you jump up so fast you break the bed frame

All previously dull colors are now vibrant and almost headache inducing, you can hear everything in a room that was previously silent, and the smells- the smells were the worst part, everything was so overwhelming

Not to mention the almost unbearable burning in the back of your throat

“Y/N, are you alright?”

You look over to see a very stressed looking Emmett and Rosalie

“Uhm” You rasp out before clearing your throat, “I.. think so?”

Rosalie offers you a cup of blood Edward had caught for you

You hesitantly take it and ask “What... What does it take like.”

“Take a sip and find out!” Emmett slaps your back and then rubs it supportingly

You take a small sip, surprised at how much it lessens the burning in your throat “It’s.. okay.” You say not wanting to admit it was really good to you- although you do finish the glass

Alice proceeds to carry a whole mirror into the room so you can see yourself- you stare awkwardly at your reflection that now seems foreign

Vampire lessons by everyone

Jasper and Emmett teach you to fight

Carlisle teaches you restraints

Edward and Bella teach you the whole cover story

Rosalie and Alice teach you “How to act human 101″

Emmett and Rosalie both find you one day obviously upset when you realize you’ll have to leave behind your friends and family

They help you learn to cope and let you know it’s completely normal to feel what you feel

Emmett cheers you up by throwing you fifty feet in the air- which was a unique method that worked wonders

Emmett sneak attacks you and you flinch so hard you put a hole in the wall

You get him back by tackling him to the ground- which only works for a second before he’s rolled on top of you and hungrily looking at you lips

You end up making out in the middle of the woods

When the rest of the cullens go back home you decide to stay at the beach for another week

During that week you all agree to take the next step- multiple times

It’s a good thing jasper is out of there because you are full of lust for literal days

You all go home and Edward immediately cringes at Emmett’s thoughts

You home to reveal all your previous rooms stuff had been moved to Rosalie and Emmett’s room- Well now Rosalie, Emmett’s, and Your room

You all are cuddle bugs

Resting your head on Rosalie’s chest is your favorite thing

Well, Clinging to Emmett’s back while he makes his way threw daily life is also up there

You all go hunting together and are one powerful gang

In Rosalie’s eyes your all damned but at least you’re damned together

You all spend the rest of your very long lives protecting and loving each other- even threw the roughest of times nothing could break you apart

You all love each other and that’s enough

#Rosalie cullen #Rosalie hale #rosalie x reader #Rosalie hale x reader #Rosalie cullen x reader #Emmett cullen #Emmett cullen x reader #Emmett x reader #Emmett Cullen imagine #Rosalie Hale imagine #Rosalie Cullen imagine #twilight x reader #twilight imagine #twilight #gender neutral reader #male reader #reader #x reader #fanfic #fandom #twilight remaissance

[gunterfan1992]

Interview with Half Shy (the songwriter of “Monster”)

For the last few months, I’ve been collecting information for a second edition of Exploring the Land of Ooo that will also cover the production of Distant Lands. This means that I’ve started to look into the new songs that we have been graced with this year, and this of course includes “Monster,” the beautiful track from the masterpiece that is “Obsidian”. And so I reached out to the song’s writer, Half Shy, who was kind enough to chat with me via email about the songwriting process!

(Photo courtesy of Half Shy)

In many ways, Half Shy is living the creative Adventure Time fan’s dream: She got asked by Adam Muto himself to write a song for “Obsidian” after he heard her music through Bandcamp! (I’ve dabbled in fan music before, and the fact that someone from the show might listen to it just blows my mind.) What an opportunity; I am so excited for her!

Since a second edition of my book won’t be coming out until after all the Distant Lands episodes air, I thought it would be best to share my Half Shy interview now. Read on for the fascinating behind the scenes story of how Half Shy and “Monster” came to be..

GunterFan: What is your origin story? How did you get involved in music, and how did the Half Shy project come to be?

Half Shy: I’ve been making music pretty quietly since I was in high school with a keyboard and guitar. I played one or two shows a year after college when I could find a friend or my brother to get up on stage with me, but I don’t really have that performer gene in me naturally. I get too much in my head and forget what the lyrics are to the song I wrote, or what the next chord is. Total brain freeze. So that whole experience is a bit of a mental drain. It’s something I think I’d like to dig into and figure out, but right now I’m really enjoying the time writing.

Even playing a song for my friends I still get pretty nervous. That’s where the name Half Shy comes from. I’ve always been interested in making things that by their nature draw a bit of a spotlight, but at the same time, I am just really quite nervous about the attention.

I recorded my first songs under my old name Hey V Kay in my bedroom and started putting them up online one at a time. When I got enough I thought about packaging it up into an album, but then got really distracted by learning how to fix up motorcycles and going to automotive tech school. When I eventually got back around to it I named the album Gut Wrenching.

After a few years I realized that I didn’t want the day-in-day-out life of a mechanic, I just wanted to know how to fix cars for myself and to have that knowledge in my back pocket. I got back into making music but grew frustrated at the process of writing and recording songs. I felt like I wasn’t able to capture the ideas I had in my head. Like trying to draw on your computer with a mouse. Doable, but it’s not going to come out like you’d hoped.

So these last couple of years I’ve focused more on learning the technical aspect of it, from the initial ideas and lyrics, to the recording and mixing. During that process I put out Bedroom Visionaries, and while writing I happened upon the name Half Shy in an old Thesaurus which felt instantly right. Learning all of that has been fun, I even went as far as to create my own book to solidify a daily writing routine (lyricworkbook.com). All that has been a bit of a tangent from actually making much music though. I should be getting my books in December from the press so I’m really looking forward to getting back into making more music instead of dealing with printing presses, setting up websites, and sourcing ribbon suppliers.

GF: What is the story behind "Monster"? How did the show get in contact with you?

HS: I keep a log of “Song Starters” with neat things I’ve heard in the world, and I would look through it every now and then and notice just how many came from Adventure Time. Eventually I thought well, I have to make a song about this show that just keeps breaking my heart. It was around the time I was nearly done with the first [Adventure Time-inspired] song “In My Element” that I got an email from Bandcamp saying “someone bought your album (Bedroom Visionaries).”

I get maybe one or two of these a month at most so I love to go in and say hi to the person and say thanks, be curious about who they are, [and] what they’re all about. Turns out it was Adam Muto, the executive producer of the show. (I asked and he has no idea how he happened upon my stuff. He guessed that I must have tagged something #adventuretime and he just happened to see it.) So I sent him an email saying, “Hey wow thanks for checking out my tunes. Also... holy crap you’ve made the best show I have ever seen in my life.” [I] played it real cool like. After finishing up writing my second [Adventure Time-inspired] song “Betty” I couldn’t help but fangirl real hard [and I sent him another message saying], “I’m sorry this is probably awkward, but I really love your show and I wrote these songs about it.” He was incredibly kind and shared them with his Twitter Universe, and a while after that I got a random email from him saying basically, “Hey, I’m working on this thing I can’t talk about, would you be interested?” I was like… well you know I’m pretty busy working at a sign shop so I’m gonna have to pass on this once in a lifetime opportunity (J/K. Obviously I fan-girl squealed and said yes immediately).

We chatted a bit about what the project was going to be and the direction. He mentioned there [would be] two Marceline songs in the special, [and he asked if I] would I be interested in giving the love song a try? Trying real hard to suppress my instant imposter syndrome I was like, “Yea, totally I’d be into giving that a shot!” So I read through the story and loved the idea of the dragon mirrored in Marceline, thinking through how they’ve both built up a protective shell, how she grew tough for a reason, but now she can open up and be vulnerable with PB.

From there I wrote the initial demo with the first two verses mostly intact and we went back and forth a few times editing it down into the final version. I recorded the final parts for the show in my little home studio in Seattle.

GS: When you were writing the song, what emotions, thoughts, or ideas were you channeling? Was there any sort of memory of event that you were trying to artistically "catch" or "recreate" with the lyrics or music?

HS: As far as channeling an emotion, generally I’d say just the experience of existing as a human. It can be so hard to open up and be vulnerable. I can remember that feeling even as a young kid—getting really excited about something and having someone completely trash it or look at you like, “Why are you so interested in that? It’s dumb.” [It causes us to grow] a little more weary to share ourselves because we know that hurt and embarrassment. The pain of being misunderstood is something I think a lot of us can relate to. Then having to decide whether to keep sharing those vulnerable parts of yourself or think, “They’re just not going to get it, I’m going to get hurt, so why bother?” and then stop putting yourself out there. You lose a lot with that thick armor though. You might feel protected, but you’re not feeling a whole lot of anything else other than the weight and chafing of it (I had a whole lot of armor-related metaphors that I didn't end up using.).

I struggle with this in songwriting too. I’m not the bolt-of-lightning type. There are pages and pages of cliches, total garbage, bad jokes, and cheesy lines that I have to get through in order to get to something that I am excited to put out there into the world: “Here I did this thing, I know it’s a little (this or that), but I made it... What do you think?” It’s hard to open yourself up to hearing the other end of that question.

I filled about 5 little pocket notebooks just thinking through the story, ideas, and trying to get this song right. I wanted it to feel familiar and honor the past songs of the show ([e.g.,] using the ukulele and referencing a few of the familiar chords from “I’m Just Your Problem”) but also be pretty open and vulnerable and different for [Marceline]. [I wanted to] show that she’s going through some tough emotions but also figuring herself out and growing.

GF: I feel like “Monster” is, at its core, an ode to the “Bubbline” ship. How do you feel about your song being intimately connected to one of the most famous LGBTQ+ relationships in animation? Do you have any general thoughts on Marcy and PB, Bubbline, etc.?

HS: Oh, I’m a total fan girl of Bubbline. The whole story of how Rebecca Sugar and Muto slowly morphed it into this deeper relationship is just great. As a part of the LGBTQ community myself it really means so much to see the representation of characters like yourself portrayed in an intelligent way. Growing up I was too young to fully understand what was going on but I saw Ellen getting cancelled, and [I] heard people around me saying they’d never watch her show again after she came out. That stuff sinks in as a kid and so to have these characters who are not only intelligent, but funny, complex, and unapologetically strong who also happen to be queer is really great. I love that the story here isn’t about their orientation, but that they’re people struggling with how to be open and vulnerable in a relationship.

It feels like something sci-fi and animated shows do so well—to show that ridiculousness of limiting who a person should and shouldn’t love. Marceline is a 1000+ year old half-demon/vampire and PB was born from the Mothergum of an apocalyptic radioactive world, but you’re going to get hung up on them loving each other? It sort of brings it into perspective in a really interesting way.

GF: Do you have any other thoughts about the experience that you'd like to share?

HS: Just how lucky, thankful, and honored I feel to be a part of my favorite show, writing a song for one of my favorite characters. It’s also incredibly cool how the people on the show are so willing to connect and collaborate with their fandom. Everyone [on the production crew] was very open and a real joy to work with.

I’d like to give a huge “Thank you!” to Half Shy for agreeing to participate in this interview; she really was quite amiable! If you’d like to hear more of her music, check out her website and her Bandcamp. You can also follow her on Instragram here and on Twitter here. And of course, here is Half Shy’s awesome video of “Monster”.

#adventure time #atimers #adventure time distant lands #atdl #half shy #monster #bubbline #marceline #marceline the vampire queen #bubblegum #princess bubblegum #pb #adam muto #interview

[scorpionyx9621]

My Urban Legends: Jason Todd Rant

Maybe it's just me but I'm actually really happy with how Jason's story ended in Urban Legends. I've seen a lot of mixed reactions overall. Do I think the ending has it's issues? Yes. That being said, the general consensus is that that people were asking for Zdarsky to write an opera in 6 issue monthly comic.

Jason's characterization was a bit all over the place at the beginning. However I wouldn't call it out of character. Jason always has been a very emotionally driven character. And I've seen a lot of the more vocally angry people at this comic say that we should go back to the 'good old days' of Judd Winick and Jason just being a villain. Cold, uncaring, and just wanting revenge. But here's the thing that may shock you, Jason Todd and Red Hood were never villains. At least not in the sense of how Joker is a villain.

Jason Todd is a character driven by his emotions and a sense of seeking revenge. But he never has actively gone out of his way to kill someone he doesn't think deserves it. Hell, look at Tyler's dad. Jason killed him and he was a father. But at the same time he was a father who was abusive towards and gave drugs to his wife and child. That's still fair game in Jason's book. But it's the fact that he did that, that he killed the child whom he was trying to protect's father. That sent him on this emotional turmoil to begin with. This was the first time there was any gravity to his actions in a comic. Jason Todd isn't a black or white character. Just very, very dark grey.

But the one thing this issue got so right and emphasized so much which is, what I would argue the cornerstone of Jason's character, is his loneliness, and how he seeks to have people who accept him, a family that accepts him. When he's under the cheer gas's effect, we see this vision.

For a drug that makes you happy and makes you hallucinate the one thing you want most in life. To see that Jason's happiest vision is him being surrounded by a family that loves him, and a Bruce that accepts him? Jason Todd, the fearsome Red Hood, the one who instills fear and intimidation in the hearts of his enemies and has brutally murdered upwards of 80 people? Jason Todd is having an emotional breakdown crying surrounded by his found family and his father figure holding him as he cries.

I'm not saying Bruce is father of the year, nor is Jason Todd a saint. But this scene is so important to me as someone who identifies as a man. We dictate how boys have to act a certain way, and showing any emotion other than happiness, rage, or general emotionlessness is seen as weak and unacceptable. And for as popular of a character as Jason Todd is being vulnerable and being surrounded by loved ones? It's a powerful scene despite it being a hallucination. Jason still is that scared kid who grew up on the streets and watched both his parents disappear and fade away in front of him.

Also? Miss me with that crap about Jason is now too soft and too emotional. Prior to the New 52 Jason was still that scared kid struggling trying to find people who would accept him and love him for who he was. Despite blowing up her school, he tried recruiting Mia Darden because of their similar upbringings of being homeless orphans in their respective Gotham's and Seattle's. And anyone who's saying Jason's attachment is out of character, I literally beg you to actually read some of the comics. This powerful scene came from Detective Comics #975 and puts it best from Jason's words himself.

"Being here, being one of you all, it's important to me. I lost it for a while, and I wanted it back. So I made an agreement that I might not fully buy into in exchange for that."

Jason Todd loves his family. Why else is it that whenever there's an issue, especially in newer continuities, Jason almost always responds to every call for help from his family? Yes he's done a lot of harm towards the family, he's tried on multiple times to come for the lives of Bruce, Dick, and Tim. And while a lot of that is explained away via continuity scrubs, Jason still, despite all of the pain, all of the anguish, and all of the suffering he has dealt with. He still loves his family. Is it correct for him to be with the family after everything that has been done to him? I'm not certain. Maybe it's Stockholm Syndrome, maybe it's an act of genuine love. Is it entirely healthy? No not at all, this is a family of fictional vigilantes in a world where we have a billionaire who dresses as a bat have a kleptomaniac response to collecting troubled kids and turning them into sidekicks and said billionaire's best friend is a literal alien sun god.

I think where Zdarsky succeeded is welcoming Jason back into the family fully. I understand a lot of people feel like this is rushed and sort of out of the blue. But in the actual issue of Urban Legends itself. Bruce and Jason realized that they both wanted the exact same thing. Jason wanted to be loved and accepted by his family and by Bruce. And Bruce wanted Jason back in the family and loved and safe, but more importantly, he wanted his son back. It's that mutual understanding of knowing they both want the same thing that helped each other in the end.

Jason grew as a character from this comic, and he's grown so much as a whole. I understand a lot of people are giving this scene in particular flack because they just shake hands and Jason rides off. It's very healthy that they ended that way with a handshake because it shows that they are putting healthy boundaries up. The two clearly respect and love each other. But after so much pain and years of fighting, perhaps a hug isn't appropriate.

Maybe this is all endemic of us vilifying Bruce for so long. But honestly I think it needs to be approached with more nuance. Bruce is by no means winning father of the year. But Bruce has always loved Jason. (even though this last image, while reaffirming his love of Jason and his acceptance of him, also affirms that THAT scene from RHATO where Bruce beats Jason to within an inch of his life is still canon) Bruce has always done everything he can to try to reform any villain, and for Jason his efforts extend tenfold. Look at Clayface and Harley Quinn, two cast members who were former members of Batman's rogues gallery, now welcomed by Bruce into the crimefighting family.

Was this the perfect comic and does it automatically solve all of Jason and Bruce's problems? No absolutely not. But it does show that the beginning steps of healing are taking place. And that's the thing with healing. It's messy and you're going to fall down and make mistakes a lot. But we succeed in healing when we pick ourselves up and help each other try to heal and learn to love a little bit more. I want more stories of Jason learning to grow back into his spot into the family. Yes people are going to still look at Jason like he's going to explode at any moment and that's hard to work through. But with the proper writers, and with a family that truly loves each other. I think Jason and Bruce have the potential to turn out alright. Thank you Chip Zdarsky for making this. I look forward to seeing what you make in the future.

*edit* spelling and grammar

#batman urban legends spoilers #batman #red hood #jason todd #bruce wayne #Long post #rants

[doc-pickles]

always free to run home

in which alex's dad shows up post 16x16

hello! i posted this fun little fic on AO3 awhile back but i'm also throwing it over here. shoutout to @mac-andcheeses for letting me use her brain child for this one!

“Hey, it's Alex. Leave me a message.”

“Karev, it's Miranda Bailey. Your dad is being treated at Grey Sloan for injuries he sustained during a car crash and he’s also detoxing from years of heavy drug use. We don’t have any other emergency contact for him, the only reason we knew who he was… That’s not important. I need you to come back to Seattle. I know you’ve got your picket fence and your perfect kids and your blonde ex wife out there in Kansas but you need to come back home.”

+

“Hey Junior. Can’t believe they really dragged your sorry ass out here. Doctor Bailey said I got a couple of grandkids out in Kansas. What the hell are you doing in Kansas?”

Alex rolls his eyes, ignoring his dad as he flips open his chart. Bailey had explained the situation when he had arrived just 30 minutes earlier but he wanted to see for himself just how bad it was looking for his father.

“They’re my kids but you’re not their grandpa. You don’t deserve that title,” Alex answers, not looking up from the chart. “Your liver is failing.”

“I know, that’s what they told me.”

“That doesn’t just happen overnight, you must have been in pain for a while.”

“You’re not giving me any new information, the leggy brunette doctor nearly chewed my ear off when I first came in,” Jimmy lets out a sigh and Alex decides to let his comment about his doctor slide. “I’m dying, it was bound to happen sooner or later.”

“Do you just not care about anything? You’re about to die and all you can do is shrug your shoulders,” when Jimmy doesn’t respond Alex can’t help the frustrated groan that leaves him. “God I don’t even know why I came out here. You’re still the same guy that left us all those years ago aren’t you?”

Alex turns to leave but stops in his tracks when Jimmy speaks up, “Now that’s something you know a thing or two about isn’t it?” He doesn’t know how his dad knows the details of his escape from Seattle but his words make Alex’s blood boil as he turns to face Jimmy again, “Don’t you ever compare me to you. I left my whole life behind the minute I heard about my kids. I left my friends, my wife. Everything! I left the state to be there for my kids, I am nothing like you.”

“Trust me kid, I know all about your wife. Who do you think figured out who I was? Didn’t you see her name all over those tests?”

Alex practically lunges at the chart he’d just discarded. His eyes frantically scan the page, freezing almost immediately as he finds what he’s looking for.

Attending on the case: Doctor J. Karev

“She figured out pretty quick who I was, said we have the same crooked smile,” Jimmy is unphased by Alex’s mild freak out, continuing his story. “Didn’t say it outright but I saw her name on my chart and I knew. Well I pieced it together eventually, I’m not stupid.”

Alex finally looks back at Jimmy, anger still evident in his expression, “I know I fucked up by leaving Jo but you left our family! You left your kids behind!”

“And how exactly do you think I figured out who she was?”

Alex pauses, mind reeling at Jimmy’s words. He thinks he knows what he’s saying but Alex refuses to believe it. His dad was probably high still and trying to guilt trip him.

“I saw her, you ex wife. She was getting coffee and she had a baby, a little boy, all bundled up in his carrier. That’s when I figured it all out, the kid is your clone. Looks just like you did when your mom and I brought you home.

“Anyways the next day I overheard her talking to someone in the hall about how she couldn’t be on my case anymore. And it all made sense, the last name and the baby and everything. She stopped by earlier today and that short doctor told her you were coming. I think she went home to avoid you.”

Standing in a stunned silence Alex stares at the chart in his hands, still trying to fully process what his father is telling him. On the other hand Jimmy is talking a mile a minute but Alex can’t comprehend a word he’s saying.

“I gotta go,” Alex mutters the words as a half assed goodbye, sprinting out of the room and down to his rental car.

The loft is an easy destination, Alex’s body driving almost on autopilot. As he pulls into the back of the lot it occurs to him that in the year he’d been gone Jo might have moved. He’s about to call Meredith when the sleek black Audi he used to drive pulls in. He sits and stares in awe as Jo climbs out, opening the back door to grab a diaper bag and car seat before heading inside. He can’t see the baby from his vantage point but just the knowledge that he and Jo have a child together brings tears to his eyes.

He pulls himself together quickly, locking his car as he takes the steps up to the loft two at a time. It’s not until he’s standing at the door that he pauses, wondering if Jo rebbe wants to see him. Despite his reservations Alex knocks on the door, knowing he never wanted to live a life where he didn’t know all of his children.

The loft door slides open and for a moment the world around Alex is frozen. Jo is standing in front of him, eyes wide as she takes him in. As awestruck as Alex is seeing Jo for the first time in a year he can’t take his eyes off of the little boy in her arms. His dad was right, aside from the bright hazel eyes blinking up at him the kid is his clone, right down to the haphazard curls sticking up on his head.

“I… Bailey called me about my dad. And he said he saw you… I just needed to see for myself,” Alex shakes his head, as if the past year had suddenly come back to him. “I’m sorry I just barged in on you, I know you probably don’t want to see me. I’d really love to get to know him, you know where to reach me.”

Alex turns to leave, getting to the top of the stairs before Jo’s voice rings out, “His name is Blake. You two share a birthday.”

He doesn’t move as he processes what Jo’s just told him. There’s another beat of silence before she speaks again, “I didn’t know I was pregnant, you’d think a doctor of all people would know but I didn’t until I gave birth at home at 2 AM. He’s only three months old and by some miracle he’s perfect.”

Alex finally turns around, staring wordlessly at Jo who has tears streaking down her face. Blake is fading fast in her arms, struggling to keep his eyes open as Jo gently rocks him. It takes everything in him not to surge forward and wrap them both in his arms, but he knows not to push his luck with the woman he left so long ago.

“I’m sorry I haven’t called and told you about him but this has been the longest and scariest three months of my life. I didn’t have nine months to prepare and adjust to being a mom, I had minutes. And every minute since I first held our son in my arms has been full of me second guessing myself and trying to do what’s best for him.”

Jo’s chest is heaving now as she struggles to catch her breath. Her hand comes up to stifle the sob that comes out, Alex moving quickly to wrap her in his arms, “I know you’re a great mom Jo you don’t need to doubt that even for a minute. And I’m sorry that I wasn’t there for you.”

“You being here wouldn’t have changed anything, except maybe you freaking out when I went to pee and came back with a baby,” Jo burrows herself further into Alex’s embrace. “We made a baby.”

“A pretty cute one too,” Alex is about to say more when he notices a ring of bruises around Jo’s wrist. She notices too, quickly pulling at her sleeves to cover the fresh black and blue marks. “Jo…”

Jo pulls away from Alex as she walks into the loft and sets Blake down in his crib, “I’m fine, it was just an accident at work last night.”

Alex steps in front of Jo as she attempts to walk away from him. He doesn’t reach out to hold her like he wants to, instead studying her nervous behavior, “You know you can tell me the truth, right?”

Jo nods, still hesitant to look up at Alex as she focuses on her hands, “It was just an altercation with a patient, Hunt stepped in before I could get seriously hurt.”

“Jo-”

“It��s fine!”

“It’s not fine, you were attacked by a patient.”

“And I’m not on the case anymore. So it’s-”

“Not fine! What would’ve happened if-”

“Nothing happened! And I don’t think it’s your place to worry about me.”

“Of course it is, it always will be.”

“Can you stop freaking out?” “You were hurt! Of course I’m going to-”

“It was Jimmy. It was your dad that… hurt me.”

There’s a stifling silence as Alex takes in what Jo’s just told him. She’s watching him nervously, as if he was going to blow his lid at any moment, but he just stays quiet. When she realizes that he’s not going to say anything, Jo breaks their eye contact and continues her story.

“He was detoxing and thought I was your mom,” Jo rolls up her sleeves to show Alex the large hand marks covering the bottom half of her arms. “I’m fine though, I got checked over and Blake was in his car seat the whole time.”

“Blake was with you?!”

“Yeah… I was just checking on Jimmy before I left. He had told me earlier that he wanted to see Blake, that he looked just like you did as a baby,” Jo still refuses to meet Alex’s worried gaze as she retells the events of the previous night. “When I got there things were fine but then I showed him Blake and Jimmy just… He started yelling at me and pushing me around the room. He was calling me Helen and asking why I hadn’t picked you up from school yet. I pushed Blake’s car seat out of the way right before he pinned me up against the wall. Thankfully I was able to reach the code blue button and Owen rushed in right before he punched me.”

Jo finally meets Alex’s eyes and it takes everything in him not to run out of the loft and find his father, to scream at him and kick and punch and make him pay for hurting Jo the way that he had hurt him and his mother. Instead he leans down and cups Jo’s cheeks, wiping the tears pooled there as he fixes her with a gentle look.

“I’m fine, I really am Alex. I was more worried about Blake through the whole thing,” Jo shrugs as Alex’s fingers float across her cheek. “I’m used to-”

Jo cuts her statement short as she realizes what she was about to say. Instead she shakes her head and breaks free from Alex’s hold on her as she walks to what used to be his dresser. She pulls out a pair of his ratty sweatpants and an old t shirt, handing them to him as she walks past him towards her bed, “You can stay on the couch tonight, you know where the blankets are.”

“I can wake up with Blake,” Alex quickly offers. “You have a ton of bottles up by the sink and I’ve made about a thousand of them in the NICU. You need the rest.”

Jo just nods, practically falling into bed with a sigh. By the time Alex comes out of the bathroom her soft snores are echoing through the loft.

+

When Jo wakes up the next morning Alex has scrubbed the kitchen and bathroom and folded the pile of laundry on the couch. He had let Jo sleep in, toting Blake around in his carrier while he cleaned the loft. While Jo was never the neatest person she would always get antsy when the loft started to get too unorganized or cluttered. He could tell just from the state of things that she was completely overwhelmed with the infant that had unexpectedly taken over her life.

“I made coffee,” Alex gestures to the steaming pot on the counter. “And Blake just went down for a nap.” Jo nods in appreciation, silently pouring a cup of coffee for herself before turning to Alex, “When are you going back to Kansas?”

“My flight is scheduled for late tonight,” Alex lets out a sigh as Jo turns away from him. “Jo come on, I didn’t even know about Blake until yesterday.”

Jo turns back towards him, anger replacing the sadness that was just there, “Because you left! You left me Alex! I’m not counting on you sticking around just because we have a baby together.”

“I’m not just going to abandon my kid Jo.”

“Well you abandoned your wife pretty easily so excuse me if I don’t exactly believe you,” Jo scoffs, tears welling in her eyes. “You wanna know why I never called? Because being a single mom sounds a lot easier than shipping my son across the country to see his dad and step mom and their perfect life on a farm. I know you want to be in Blake’s life but I’m not putting him on a plane every other weekend so you can do that.”

“Izzie and I aren’t together.”

“Could’ve fooled me. Your stupid letter-”

“Was a mistake! The biggest mistake that I have ever made and I am so sorry about that Jo, but I would never try to take Blake from you,” Alex pleads. “You have to know that, don’t you?” “I don’t know that, I don’t know anything about you,” Jo’s voice reaches a scream as she faces off with Alex. “You spent years telling me you weren’t leaving, even longer trying to show me that your actions were louder than your words. And you still left me in a freaking letter!”

“Jo-”

Jo finally turns away from Alex, running a hand through her hair, “I’m not arguing with you about this. You left and gave me no say in our divorce.” “I had to leave, I had to be there for my kids.”

“And I would’ve come if you had asked me,” there’s tears in Alex’s eyes as Jo speaks, her voice coming down from it’s roar. “If you want to talk about knowing people, you should’ve known that I would follow you anywhere Alex. Did nine years teach you nothing or are you just extraordinarily stupid?”

Alex’s phone rings and breaks the illusion that they’re alone in the world. He only glances at the text for a moment before he’s shoving his shoes on his feet and grabbing his wallet and keys. When he looks back at Jo she’s staring at him with an anxious expression.

“I’m not leaving, it’s just my dad and-”

“Go Alex.”

“I’m not-”

“Go. We’ll still be here.”

Alex only spares one more look at Jo before he’s rushing out the door to Grey Sloan. He doesn’t know why he feels some sick sense of honor towards the man that abandoned him and gave him more trust issues than he can name, but he knows he needs to see his dad.

“Karev, your dad coded a little while ago,” Bailey begins to explain the situation as soon as Alex walks up to her. “Because of his long term drug use his heart is weak. He’s stable for now but… I would be shocked if he made it through the night.”

Alex nods his thanks to Bailey as he walks into Jimmy’s room. His dad is laying completely still, the slow and steady beeping monitors the only sign that he’s still alive. Alex settles into the seat next to the bed, watching his dad for a long moment. He hated him for years for everything he had put their family through, the way he had abandoned them and hurt his mom beyond repair. In fact Alex couldn’t help but feel a cruel kinship with his father, both men having broken their families into seemingly unfixable pieces.

“Alex.”

The soft voice shocks him but Alex looks up to meet his dad's gaze. He can tell it’s taking everything in him to form words but that doesn’t stop Jimmy.

“Kid, you’re nothin’ like me. That girl loves you more than you know and you’ve got a chance to do right by her and that little boy,” Jimmy lets out a cough and reaches out for Alex’s hand, giving it a tight squeeze. “Don’t make the same mistakes I did. You’re a much better man than I ever was.”

It’s silent after that, Alex sitting and holding his dad's hand until the monitors around him fall silent an hour later. He sits with him for a while more before leaving, going back to the hotel room he had rented instead of the loft like he had wanted to. There’s a million thoughts running through his head but one rings louder than the rest.

Don’t make the same mistakes I did.

+

Logically Alex knows he should’ve called or texted or even sent another letter to Jo. Maybe not the letter, but it had been two weeks since his dad had passed and he had left Seattle without a word to anyone. He feels bad for leaving Jo once again but he also knows that his decision is for the best.

He’s not shocked even a little when Jo opens the loft door and scowls at him. Blake is on the floor of the living room batting at colorful shapes on his playmat and Alex is thankful that he at least seems happy.

“Hi.”

“Hey asshole,” Jo scoffs and turns around, leaving the door open for Alex but not acknowledging him. “You said you were going to the hospital and then you left. You specifically said you weren’t leaving and then you left. Again.”

“I know.”

Jo picks up the laundry basket on the couch and begins to put away the folded clothes, “I’m not really interested in whatever it is you have to say Alex. I’m done believing anything you say because every time I do I just get hurt.”

“l bought a house in Queen Anne,” Alex watches as the laundry basket in Jo’s hands tumbles to the ground, her eyes wide as she stares at him with unwavering attention. “I know you always liked the neighborhood and it’s right around the corner from Meredith. It’s a two story with some extra bedrooms and it’s got a big backyard for Blake to run around in with the twins when they come to visit in the summers. I already talked to Izzie and she said she’s more than happy to let them visit. And uh Bailey gave me my job back, as head of peds.”

Jo’s hand flies up to her mouth as she stares at Alex in shock. He at least has the decency to look somewhat ashamed for having left without a word, but the sight of her so emotional over his return makes him feel slightly better.

“I’m staying in Seattle, I’m going to be here for Blake. I can’t… I’m not my dad. I’m not going to leave my kid or my… you. I’m not letting you do this alone Jo, you don’t deserve that,” Alex takes a deep breath and chances another look at Jo who now has tears running down her cheeks. “I’m sorry I didn’t call but I wanted to wrap things up back in Kansas and have everything lined up here. I promise that anytime you call or text from now on that I’ll answer. I’m not going to make the same mistakes I did before.”

The last word barely slips out of Alex’s mouth before Jo is across the loft, throwing herself into his hold. A sigh of relief leaves Alex as he wraps her in his arms, pressing his lips to her hair. They stay that way for a few minutes, just enjoying being close before Jo pulls back.

“Thank god, the loft is getting crowded and I’m worried Blake is gonna end up electrocuting himself or something when he starts crawling because I never had time to baby proof,” Jo blinks up at Alex, who looks confused at her statement. “What did you think I wasn’t going to come with you?”

“I-“

Before he can say anything in return Jo’s lips are against his and for the first time in months Alex feels well and truly at home.

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