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makeste · 3 years

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BnHA Chapter 315: I Didn’t Expect This to Blow Up

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “guess which plot that you thought was dead is actually not dead and is making a comeback!” and we were all “EVIL HPSC??” and he was all “girl you know it,” and that’s the story of how we got a sexy Lady Nagant flashback with lots of guns and murder. Flashback!Lady was all “gotta murder peeps to preserve the people’s trust,” but then a little while later she was like “actually wait that makes no sense,” and so she shot her evil boss and they sent her to jail. Back in the present, Deku was all “okay fair, the hero system might in fact be a little fucked up, but hear me out... have you considered not helping AFO take over the world so he can murder like a bazillion more innocent people??” The chapter ended with the not-all-there Overhaul finally revealing himself to Deku, and I honestly have no idea where this is gonna go.

Today on BnHA: In what is unfortunately the single worst plan ever concocted by anyone in BnHA, Nagant is all “I’m going to try and get this Deku kid to panic and freeze up by putting someone in mortal danger.” Deku is all, “[doesn’t panic and freeze up at the sight of someone in mortal danger].” Nagant is all “omg no way.” Deku, who is now all of a sudden being so OP that even I have to acknowledge that it’s OP lol, is all “[smashes Nagant’s gun arm to bits]”, which sucks but is also really cool, and which also apparently makes Nagant decide that she actually likes this kid after all. Deku is all “NAGANT I REALLY LIKE YOU AND THINK YOU’RE GREAT SO PLEASE JOIN UP WITH ME AND STOP BEING EVIL.” Nagant is all “aw shucks (✿ •͈ᴗ•͈) well okay then” and everyone is all “( ･◡･) ✰ ( ˆᴗˆ ) ( ᵘ ᵕ ᵘ ⁎)” and then Nagant FUCKING EXPLODES LIKE AN EGG IN THE MICROWAVE AND FALLS TO HER DEATH!!!! except not really because Hawks saves her??? In conclusion, (a) THE FUCK, and (b) AFO TURN ON YOUR LOCATION I JUST WANT TO TALK.

so I have to tell you guys something, which is that barely ten minutes after I made that “please don’t send me spoilers” post the other day, someone replied to the comments in a stunning fit of “tell me that you’re twelve without actually telling me you’re twelve” energy and posted what seemed to be the copy-pasted spoiler summary from reddit or twitter or whatever lol. so here is my good news/bad news rundown of all that

good news: I have very well-conditioned ABORT!! reflexes and have trained myself to immediately look away from the screen (usually in dramatic fashion) as soon as I realize that whatever I’m reading is a spoiler

bad news: unfortunately as I was subsequently deleting said comments, I accidentally read the very last one

good news??: said spoiler was so unbelievably, absurdly over-the-top that I’m almost positive this person was just trolling. like, there’s just no way lmao

bad news: but in the unlikely event that it is true I will absolutely lose my shit I swear to god

(ETA: “NAGANT DIES.” that was the spoiler I read lol. like, literally all I read from the person’s comments was “My Hero Academia Chapter 315 Title: “Beautiful Words.” Chapter starts with...” and then I noped out of there, and then of all the comments to read as I was deleting, it had to be that one lol. I seriously was just like “SURE, JAN.” all “just how gullible do you think I am” sob. but I was wrong. a troll, but an honest troll they remain.

but anyways like I’m pretty sure Nagant isn’t even actually dead lol, so in the end this whole little adventure doesn’t even have a point to it, but for me it was a journey!)

anyway, so there are apparently two versions of the chapter today?? no idea what the difference is, but I’m going to go with the Bean version, because it’s the one at the top and I don’t feel like making decisions today

huh, so Overhaul is actually more coherent than Horikoshi was letting on

look at him having a whole back and forth conversation with her. side note, how is he still this jacked when he’s been sitting in a cell doing absolutely nothing for the past six months

anyway so he says he’ll go with her on one condition. I wonder what that condition could possibly be. do you think it could be the thing he literally hasn’t shut up about ever since he reappeared lol

yep! and damn -- maybe this guy will surprise me after all

still would be nice if you also felt a bit sorry for the little girl you tortured and traumatized, but this is something at least. maybe Deku will yell at him for that other stuff lol

(ETA: also can’t help but wonder if he wants to make amends because he put him in a coma, or because his plan was a failure and ended up destroying the family. just hoping you’ve finally had that “hurting other people is bad” epiphany dude.)

anyways so now Nagant’s arm is transforming again, and this particular transformation happens to be the only truly unsexy thing that Nagant has done thus far so I’m just gonna skip right on ahead lol

aaaaand we’re back to the delirious ranting

buddy. just. read the fucking room, guy

wow she really is aiming at Overhaul, then. those theories were spot-on

damn she’s really out here all “it really fucks with kids’ heads when you kill people right in front of them and make them blame themselves” like yo

I’m picturing her saying all this in a very loud stage-whispery tone while making very significant eye contact with Deku lol

uh oh but wait

um. okay. who’s gonna tell her. Nagant I might have some bad news for you about the kid you’re trying to capture here. specifically about the way he tends to do the opposite of what you’re thinking that he’s about to do

holy shit

so it’s basically just “tap x repeatedly to charge up your attack” lol

and okay, so that’s cool and all, but is anyone else wincing at the thought of what that must be like on his knees. oh to be young

anyway, but so to the surprise of basically no one, Deku did not, in fact, freeze. I am very sorry, Nagant. he’s just like this

LMAO

someone wanna tell me how getting yoloed in the fucking ribs by this fucking slingshot kid moving at literal sniper bullet speed is in any way even remotely better than getting hit by the bullet itself lol

(ETA: this is 10x funnier now that we know the bullet wasn’t even gonna hit him lmao.)

anyway so now Nagant is having an extended “!?!?!?” reaction about how Deku just moved with no hesitation, and I’m starting to get an inkling of fear that the rest of this fight isn’t going to go very well for her and maybe that’s what all the “hoo boy” is about

oh my god Deku are you about to Gomu Gomu no Rocket yourself at her you insane little man

now Three is popping up again and he’s all “I see you’ve learned your lesson and are now only using three quirks at once instead of five” like with all this effusive praise about how great and badass Deku is and sob, okay, yeah. this chapter is basically one of those machines that shoots tennis balls at people, except instead of tennis balls it shoots hot piping discourse

OH MY GOD

YOOOOOOOOOO but also, NOOOOOOOOOOO

lol oh my god it’s literally two opposing reactions at once wtf. do I love this or hate this. like just for once can Horikoshi actually let a badass lady character win their fucking fight without getting their arm ripped off, BUT ALSO fucking look at that absurdly cool “SMASH” onomatopoeia though. it looks like it’s about to float right off the page holy shit that’s some seriously good art

anyway so is this really the end?? do I need to break out my ಠ_ಠ faces

lmao okay yeah I can definitely see how this would piss a lot of people off

he basically one-shotted her and she’s all “damn this kid is so amazing that I’m about to do a complete 180 turn on all of my previous angst” lmao. Horikoshi is really shounening it up today

on the plus side though, maybe this means there’s still a chance for her to join up with him after all? unless that spoiler was true lmao, then all hell is gonna break loose

YESSSSSSS

OH MY GOD AND HE SAYS THE BULLET WOULDN’T HAVE DONE MORE THAN GRAZE OVERHAUL ANYWAY, wow, I’m actually more relieved by that than I would have expected. I mean I would have forgiven her either way, but it means that there was still more hero in her than she was letting on

YES!!! FUCKING YES, THANK YOU

lol but I mean, it’s also like, “oh so today they get to have brain cells”, thank you so much lol. sometimes it’s really hard to tell which times we’re supposed to question these character decisions that seem dumb, and which times we’re just supposed to full on embrace them and switch off our critical thinking

but okay, so in this case it really was Nagant going easy on him on purpose, and not just her fucking up for no good reason even though she used to do this for a living and was the best in the game. and I know in this case it’s probably just Horikoshi giving us some consolation headpats to soften the blow of her losing so abruptly, but you know what, shit. I’ll take it

also you guys the light is coming back into Deku’s eyes again for just a moment here and I’m having feels about it?? the way it still comes back when he’s reaching out to save someone, and following his own hero path instead of the much darker and lonelier Christopher Nolan path that’s been laid out for him instead that he never wanted?? it’s both reassuring and also very sad

YESSSSSSSSSSS

DO IT LADY OMG PLEASE?? PLEASE COME BE HIS NEW IRRESPONSIBLE ADULT SUPERVISION YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO

AHHHHHHH SHE’S GONNA DO IT AHHHH

p.s. I am now absolutely scared shitless that that spoiler was actually true sob. swear to god, I will throw this manga into a fucking volcano. but we’re almost at the end of the chapter and this seems just WAY TOO GOOD to be true fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck f

UCK

NOPE NAH SEND IT BACK, NOPE, NUH UH, DIDN’T ORDER THIS. “GULLIBLE” OKAY FUCK YOU?? “COUNTERMEASURES” NOPE, DON’T NEED ‘EM, WE’RE ALL FINE HERE. WE’RE ACTUALLY GOOD SO YOU CAN JUST GO, OKAY. PLEASE

fuck, lol, I don’t wanna do it. I don’t wanna scroll down what have I ever done to deserve this oh my god

WHAT THE HONEY-ROASTED FUCK

WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT FUCKING VOLCANO IN ICELAND THAT I KEEP SEEING ALL THESE PICTURES OF. WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT. LET’S GO

ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW

can someone please give AFO a really good, sharpish kick in the balls. just really let him have it. I’m so tired, what the fuck

-- ARE YOU KIDDING ME LOL WHAT

bro. I was literally going through my Excel folders to find the spreadsheet about female characters in BnHA that I made back when Midnight died. was gearing myself up for a wholeass rant. and honestly I might just let all of that continue simmering on low to keep it warm just in case lol, because to tell you the truth I have absolutely no idea what’s happening right now

my girl straight up does not have a face. she used to have a face. people usually need those, idk. like, even if she’s alive, her gorgeous eyebrows are definitely not making it out of this and I’m gonna throw a funeral just for them

how the fuck did AFO just blow her up?? how did he know what was going on?? and if he had a quirk that could explode people at will, why is this the first we’re hearing of it?? you’d think that might have come in handy at Kamino or Jakku, like what

(ETA: present!me, who’s had more than three hours of sleep and can now actually remember facts about the series, would like to remind past!me that AFO gave Nagant a quirk, and so this is probably just more Vestige shenanigans now on his part. that’s also probably why Air Walk suddenly stopped working out of nowhere. still doesn’t explain why he doesn’t go around blowing people up more often though but maybe he thinks it’s gauche.)

Hawks just straight up out of nowhere. just Mirioed his way straight into the chapter just in time to be too late sob. here I was looking forward to seeing your face when Deku showed up with his new best friend. can’t believe Horikoshi deprived us of that moment

on the plus side, WELCOME BACK, HAWKS’S FEATHERS. I have no doubt that in this chapter of Deku being an almighty threequirk-mastering god, and Nagant losing anticlimactically only to be immediately blown up because girl characters in BnHA can only be cool for one fight and one fight only, there are still some people who are focusing solely on the “how dare Hawks get his wings back when he is a MURDERER this is an outrage what about CONSEQUENCES” discourse, and to hell with all the other discourses lmao

anyway, so yeah. wow. and now it’s just occurring to me that maybe the real reason why Overhaul is there is so he can get a head start on that amend-making by actually doing a good thing for once in his life, and using his quirk to heal Nagant. assuming he can still do that

and so now Horikoshi has got me out here actually rooting for Overhaul. you know what, on that note I think I’m just gonna go ahead and call it a day sob

#bnha 315 #overhaul #chisaki kai #lady nagant #midoriya izuku #all for one #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

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ptergwen · 3 years

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HERES A CUTE PROMPT FOR U BC THE ANGSTY ONES ARE KILLING ME peter and reader babysitting morgan together and being cute yeah that’s it but it cute :) also i totally agree w not writing for tom anymore, but either way it’s totally ur decision who you write for <3

oooooof a concept we don’t talk about enough :,) and thank you lovely <3

babysitting morgan is a task that often falls on you. your dad has major trust issues, so he’ll only allow one of his own to be responsible for such precious cargo.

tonight is tony’s and pepper’s date night, which means it’s also yours and morgan’s. you don’t mind because you thoroughly enjoy every second of your quality sister time.

she is a handful, however. you’ve invited peter over to join to compensate for that. he absolutely adores morgan, and you swear she likes your boyfriend more than she likes you.

traitor.

morgan is perched in peter’s lap, who has an arm gently tucked around her. he’s sitting cross cross and next to you on the floor. you’re currently reading the two of them a story—the hungry caterpillar. it’s a classic, whether they’ll admit it or not.

“one piece of chocolate cake, one ice cream cone, one pickle, one slice of-“ you’re once again interrupted, this time by a groan from morgan. she’s been sighing and scoffing every few pages. lowering the book, you glance over at your sister.

“what’s up, morg?” you finally ask her, though you’re dreading her answer. “i’m too old for this, y/n. you are, too,” she complains, earning an amused raise of peter’s eyebrows.

she’s a drama queen, just like your father.

“you’re five!” you remind morgan with a slight frown. “this is what five year olds are supposed to like.” morgan shifts on peter’s knee so she’s facing you. he’s doing his best to not laugh at your bickering.

“five and a half,” she corrects you. “same difference,” you retort. morgan smirks in her true wise guy fashion. “that’s an oxymoron.”

tossing the book aside in defeat, you hum. “i’d be careful if i were you, morgan. i know where you sleep.” morgan’s jaw drops, her little fingers tugging on peter’s flannel collar for help. “is that a threat?” she wonders. you stick your tongue out at her. “it can be.”

“ladies, ladies!” peter breaks up your argument just as it steers left. “c’mon, y/n/n. you’re better than this. violence is never the answer.” he shoots you a look, weaving a hand through morgan’s hair. she smiles wickedly.

“ugh, will you ever take my side? she started it!” you whine to peter and flick your sister’s shoulder. “no fair! i’m only five, remember?” morgan plays the age card, jutting out her bottom lip. peter continues to stroke her locks soothingly. “your sister’s a big meanie, but it’s okay. i’ll protect you,” he promises.

“you’re so fake, bug boy,” you reprimand your boyfriend. you tap on the hard cover of the hungry caterpillar. “don’t act like you weren’t entertained! this is good stuff right here.” peter shares a funny look with morgan, sucking in a breath. “uh… no comment.”

he slings his free arm around your shoulders and presses a kiss your temple. still annoyed, you push him off of you.

“don’t be like that, babe.” peter pulls you into his side with a chuckle, squeezing you closer. “i just think we could all use something a little more… stimulating, right?” having won the discourse, morgan beams. “i agree. two against one!” she taunts.

“yeah, yeah. you guys deserve each other,” you grumble back, but accept peter’s embrace nevertheless. “what do you wanna do instead, morgan?” “let me think,” she ponders her options, gasping when an idea comes to her. “can we try the shield from uncle steve? dad says peter knows how.”

morgan receives tons of high-tech paraphernalia from the team because they want her to get in touch with her roots. they’d done the same when you were her age. it’s insane, the things she has access to. peter is an actual avenger and doesn’t reap the benefits like she does.

peter does prefer not to engage in superhero activities on his days off. although, he clearly has a knack for operating cap’s shield, as he demonstrated in berlin. he can’t say no to morgan, either.

“this should be interesting. you down?” you check with him, rubbing his shoulder. peter gives you a grin and morgan a nudge forward. “go get it, morg. i’ll teach you all the skills you need to kick cap’s…” he pauses to censor himself. “rear end.”

giggling, you wrap your arms around peter’s neck. “we’ll meet you outside, okay?” you inform your sister. morgan happily hops up from peter’s lap. “okay! don’t swap too much saliva while i’m gone,” she teases you and peter before running along to the lab.

a light blush sets on peter’s cheeks, you hiding your face in his neck.

“where’d she learn how to talk that way?” peter murmurs and moves you to sit in his lap, where morgan was. “my dad, probably. they must be onto us,” you reply with a kiss to his shoulder. he lets out a quiet laugh, hugging you against his chest. “i noticed. nothing gets past a stark.”

“speaking of,” you prompt peter, gazing up into his doe eyes. “be honest. you were vibing with the hungry caterpillar, weren’t you?” a wide smile crossing peter’s features, his lips brush the tip of your nose softly.

“i might’ve been a little invested… don’t tell morgan.”

#peter parker #peter parker x stark!reader #peter parker x avenger!reader #peter parker fic #peter parker fluff #peter parker imagine #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x you #peter parker x reader #peter parker oneshot #mcu #tom holland #tom holland fluff #tom holland x reader #tom holland imagine #tom holland fic

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halothenthehorns · 3 years

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All in the Family

Chapter 48: The Patronus

The place was not even lit, which hadn't boded well the past few times for them, so Remus was quick to wave his wand and light the candles along the wall. It revealed nothing more than a desk with a suitcase on top, the rest of the room was cleared.

At first they all relaxed, recognizing an unused Hogwarts classroom, the view outside a crystal clear night, the moon newly waning. Then they heard the suitcase rattle.

"I swear to Merlin's sack if it's another three headed dog, I am out!" Frank hissed to no one.

"Thankfully we didn't have to deal with that one," Peter tried to offer, his voice too high pitched to convey any real comfort. "Plus, I've got a nice falsetto-"

"Someone summon the damn book and get us out of here before we have to find out!" Lily snarled, their wands all pointed either at the suitcase or at the door for the threat, but none seemed willing to activate anything. Finally Lily took a breath and followed her own advice, the suitcase went sailing into her hand.

She dropped it as if it had burned her.

"Evans?" James at once asked in concern, but too late, it fell open right in front of her.

A new girl now stood before them all, carefully set blond hair and pale fishy eyes in a neat pink dress, her face scrunched up in pure disgust. Eyes locked on Lily and storming even closer with a ranky, perfumed air she sneered, "I can't believe you did that freaky magic again Lily, mum and dad will kick you out for sure this time-"

James froze with no idea of what to make of this, even as the red heads eyes filled with tears and her wand began to lower, but Remus leaped forward and shouted, "Riddikulus!"

The image flickered for a moment, eyes still locked in on Lily. For just a moment, a boy now stood before them with long greasy hair and a hooked nose, but then it changed to a cartoonish looking dog trying to balance a bone on its nose.

Sirius could only muster up a very small laugh in surprise, but that only drew the boggarts attention onto him next, blank eyes focusing in and already beginning to change into a woman, except this time with haughty dark features and claw like hands as she shrieked at her eldest son what a disgrace he was, in a voice they all recognized from frequent Howlers in the Great Hall.

Padfoot blanched in disgust and tried his own form of the banishment, but then it only grew worse again at the weak attempt, flickering to Prongs, then Moony, and then Wormtail all with looks of horror and disgust upon their faces and spewing even worse things of betrayal and a friend they couldn't trust, all words they'd already said to him.

James pushed him out of the way and, ignoring the change to a skeletal snake-like face appearing from nothing, this time said with purpose, "Riddikulus!"

It changed to a yellow balloon and made a farting noise drifting lazily around the room. Peter made a forced attempt at laughter and they all tried to join in this time with understanding. It landed, flickered feebly between a rat, a pool of blood, a griffin, then settled on an erumpent, rearing onto its hind legs and horn pointed at Alice.

She shrieked and backed away in surprise, but gathered her wits back just as quick, all of them on guard now. She repeated the incantation and watched it shrink down to a fuzzy kitten chasing its tail. They all laughed this time with feeling.

It tried one last feeble attempt, rolling onto its back and nearly locking eyes with Regulus who backed quickly away with a truly horrified expression. Lily stormed forward with a vengeance. The image blurred, taking the shape of a person once more before she shouted at the top of her lungs, and then there was a fish flopping on the floor and singing some tune none of them recognized, but they all laughed anyways in surprise.

Finally, it vanished, the silence left behind though labored with still startled breaths was almost calm thanks to the way it had ended.

Lily very cautiously peeked back inside the suitcase, to find the book sitting innocently inside. "Well," she whispered, still breathing the heaviest. "I guess Harry gets those lessons from Professor Lupin."

They all shuffled for a moment back into more casual stances, everyone looking at someone with worry for this experience.

"Err, Evans, you sure you're okay?" Potter still asked her even as he was looking at his best mate, expression sallow to the extreme and twisted up, still glaring where the boggart had vanished.

She flipped her hair over her shoulder and scooped the book up without comment to get to her place.

"An erumpent?" Frank put his arm around Alice and politely asked her. "I feel like there's a story there."

She made an awkward attempt at a giggle to fight off the full memory. "My dad took me to a sanctuary once, it did not end well. What's with you and griffins?"

"A wild one went onto our property once," he grimaced. "I'd be cat chow if my mum hadn't stepped in. Needless to say, I'm quite proud I didn't wind up in Gryffindor for that alone."

She did laugh that time, but both were now done soothing each other and watching Lily with still more worry. They wanted to say something to her, find some way to really make her laugh this off like they had, but she'd just found her place and read out the chapter title, causing an inadvertent but welcomed distraction. "That's not really the way Harry's going to stop this dementor problem." She turned accusing eyes on Lupin, who looked politely puzzled himself. "That's a seventh year charm, I only know of it because I accidentally did a practice quiz for a N. E. W. T. instead of an O. W. L last week. You can't expect a third year-"

Three Marauders decided to keep to themselves they did in fact know that charm, even if they weren't dementor tested, because there had been a study done on correlations between the form they took and similar animagus'. One, did not think that through.

"Do you know any other way to make a dementor piss off?" Black snapped at her, visibly swallowing but puffing up and nearly shouting. "You want Harry to be hearing you scream in his head for the rest of his life? At least Moony's trying something, I don't see any other Professor-"

"Padfoot," Potter placed a restraining hand on his shoulder. "Breathe mate, she didn't sick that boggart on you, or what came out of it, which was complete bollix."

He took a deep breath and blinked a few times, whatever he'd been yelling at in his mind finally being replaced with her vivid red hair. "Right, sorry Evans."

She just nodded without comment and tried to read on, putting the tid-bit away for later on how, interesting, it was Potter always seemed able to calm all his mates down. What would they be like when he wasn't around to do that?

Sirius had even less interest hearing Harry arguing with his friends, as if he hadn't lived through that enough. So he grabbed Regulus by his shoulder and began towing him to the farthest corner away.

He went stumbling along, but willingly, and straightened his robes and drew himself up imperiously when released. "The hell Sirius? You know you can just ask to have a word with me like normal?"

Sirius huffed and muttered for a moment about the kid before he asked in an almost gentle voice, "your class done boggarts yet?"

Regulus sucked on the inside of his cheek for a moment before answering, "no, at least, not like that. None of my Professors have ever mentioned them, certainly not Liz if it was supposed to come up this year, but Dad actually found one in his desk the day before Christmas Holiday ended. Told me I was going to practice on it this summer," he finished in a small voice. "Guess, now I'll be better prepared for it?"

Sirius had only wanted to somehow brush off the horrible things that boggartWalburga had said if his little brother had questions, but now he felt like he should ask more, for once. He'd flat refused anymore lessons like that with his parents after fourth year when they'd given him several dozen different lectures on not just how to do certain spells, but who they should be targeted towards, and that wasn't even getting into how they talked about beasts like trolls, goblins, and werewolves.

He'd tried to convince his little brother to join him and stop going to these as well, but the little brat had refused and told Sirius he wasn't going to disappoint his parents like that, then asked him to go outside and play a game. It was pure insanity! How long did Regulus think he could keep walking the line between appeasing their disturbed parents and keeping whatever moral compass he still claimed he had?

There was a small distraction from the discourse James was serving by Wood trying to work Harry off the team because of this dementor problem, his best friend shouting loud enough for the whole castle to hear, "Moony, if you don't get Harry a solution to those dementors, I'll banish them all from Earth myself!"

Wormtail gave a wild laugh for his usual antics, the both of them discussing loudly how they'd go about doing that when classes swung around to mentioning said professor again. Sirius looked up and around properly in concern when Hermione displayed, well, not a response they appreciated.

Regulus watched his brother eye Lupin with concern when the little Muggleborn girl seemed to know what was wrong with their newest teacher. Regulus felt affronted for a moment, he hadn't a clue if it was some disease he had or he was just consistently under the whether, but he also hadn't spent much time looking into it. Seemed the nosy little girl had done so and was now lording it, typical behavior of those less fortunate. He shifted his weight uncomfortably to the Muggleborn reading all this, the image of her fiery hair jumping to his defense and tackling the creature, and without permission guilt flooded him for the vicious thoughts. He slumped away from Sirius in confusion and sat by the desk as he tried to sort out all these conflictions in him. The boggart's shape for him, everything he'd thought he'd known being a lie, and still who to believe.

Sirius let him, as he didn't have a satisfactory answer for his own problem yet, and turned to enthusiastically egg Evans on with 'interest' of this new spell they clearly hadn't heard of!

Lily ignored their idiocies, but did stop curiously when the name of the incantation was given and how to invoke it. She hesitated, searching through her mind for something that might work.

Frank didn't have to think twice, summoning forth when Alice had agreed to go out with him and shouted, "Expecto Patronum!" A white burst of light did indeed spew forth, but to his disappointment it merely faded away just as fast.

Alice waffled on anything to use. Her life had been quite mellow, nothing would really stand out in her mind that would give her much of anything to work with. She got more frustrated the longer she tried, thinking there must be some high point in her life as she flickered through memories with her parents, friends, and even Frank, but there was no peak producing silver to be found.

The Marauders all, 'gave it a go.' They all had great bruises on their prides to only produce very thick and consistent vapors of smoke without letting their true patronuses take shape, but they'd resisted the urge to brag to the world about their years too early practice in becoming animagus', they could hold off bragging on this too. Sirius turned to Regulus and called, to try and push some attention away, "come on then, give it a go! See if you and Harry are on the same level?"

'I'm nothing like that half-blood' he wanted to snap back, instinctively insulted, but took a deep breath and instead tried to respond to his brothers enthusiasm. He recalled the time he and Sirius had built a fort out of blankets in the study and Kreacher brought them snacks all night, the two whispering about all the adventures of the future, home alone as their parents went to a dinner party all night. A very substantial silver something began to materialize before him, but he was so surprised it faded away just as fast. He looked wildly over to see his brother beaming with pride.

James was watching Evans sadly, advice or something to help on the tip of his tongue. She was red in the face and muttering the enchantment with purpose, but barely a whisp was visible. Usually the ruler of the Charms room, he'd half expected her to be able to flawlessly enact this one, but she was clearly struggling with some aspect. When she opened her eyes and saw him staring, she looked even more angry and frustrated, turning back to the book with a despicable look, muttering about practice later.

She didn't exactly feel better that she was doing worse than Harry, or the fact that the boy had to create a fake memory just to produce results! She flushed with shame as she suddenly realized she may do better trying the same, nothing she'd come up with seemed to be working. Not the earliest ones of the first time she'd done magic, nor the more recent of her and Sev trying to create spells and jotting them down in his mums old potion book. She stamped her foot in frustration of what she was doing wrong.

The lesson was going brutally, and Evans' clear displeasure at her inability to do the spell wasn't helping things along. Constantly having to hear of your last dying words on top of lacking in magic her son was getting only half decent results in this same spell, more than her. At least Harry had an excuse for his lackluster work, his secret desire to hear his mother's voice, the only time in his life he would.

Then Peter fell back against the wall, clutching his ears in pain rather than keep hearing her stutter in surprise over James' last words. You-Know-Who closing in, and his brave, loyal, stupid friend standing his ground against everything. He should have ran, why didn't he run? This wasn't some animal that could so easily be tricked and fooled, this was a tyrant even Prongs couldn't face!

He watched his friend for several long moments, looking as if he were seeing a ghost in Evan's hands, but then his chest puffed up and he drew himself to his full height as if fixing to go ten more rounds with everyone in the castle. "Damned right!" He declared with actual pride.

Sirius and Remus looked on the verge of tears hearing of this, but then they too threw their shoulders back in pride for such a response. Peter wished the castle would swallow him hole in shame as he couldn't bring himself to do the same. His eyes flickered to where the Boggart had vanished, the tiny little rat that had appeared mocking him. He'd always been weak and small compared to them, even his fears, and the self-loathing only grew stronger for what he was, what his first reaction would always be.

Lily had just been given a whole new perspective of this future smacked into her face. There was still the loathsome image of being married to Potter for all of this to even be occurring, but for once that was the most insignificant bit. She held, in her hands, proof that James Potter, cared for her. Like she'd watched him do for his friends in the past few days alone, like she'd seen him even trying to do for her, now magnified in an action he clearly had no regrets for. For this one second, his last breath, he was not some arrogant prick trying to win her affections.

"Lily?" It was the quietest, most gentle way he'd ever called to get her attention. The reason he called her Evans was too rile her up and see her face him with that challenging look ready to go, but that's not what she needed now. "I don't regret it." The calm he infused into that, spluttered something out of her.

"How do you manage to- I don't even like-"

"That's alright," he actually shrugged, still looking like this of all things was a casual conversation. Not the birk that was blindly defending his friend, the arrogant idiot who couldn't see any opinion but his own, just his declaration this was a satisfying enough end. She didn't understand it one little bit. She turned slowly back to the book, because for once she didn't know what to say to him. Thank you didn't seem proper enough, when she couldn't return she'd do the same.

She almost, sympathized with Harry coming to tears over hearing of this. She'd tried, and failed, to put distance between the idea of this child being hers, and for the first time was again struck by just what the boy would think watching this. The first thing he'd ever heard in his parents voice was their life ending for his, and here the two of them couldn't even hold a civil conversation! The lad would probably cry ten fold if he was forced to hear this instead.

Some of James' confidence wavered when Remus, or Professor Lupin whatever, refused to elaborate on their friendship. He had no idea why his friend had been going out of his way these past thirteen years to not care for Harry, and dancing around the answer now was making him feel sick. Just what had happened?

Sirius and Remus exchanged terrified looks for the same, now watching Prongs as he finally looked worried about this future like hearing his own last words hadn't managed. Sirius roused himself, and in a fit of solidarity to chase that away shouted, "oi, who's up for round two with that Boggart! Professor Lupin's slacking, only letting Harry have three goes!"

Remus swallowed uncomfortably rather than admitting he wanted to quit again from this bloody story, but the other two looked relieved and laughed just like Padfoot had been hoping, even if both sounded extremely forced.

There was rising hope in everyone now as Harry finally got a good attempt off! Professor Lupin still had to step in, and it didn't seem encouraging the man who was teaching this couldn't even produce his own patronus to do it, but they'd take whatever they could get at this point.

Professor Lupin's even more cryptic comments about Sirius had the two shuffling closer to each other with unease, wishing more than ever there was some way to just get an answer already rather than all of this foul run around nonsense. Harry pausing to reflect on all of this was making them sicker by the moment, it took everything they had not to grab each others hands in front of everyone just for some comfort in this dreadful situation.

Thankfully the book lightened up from there and the moment passed without either having to acknowledge it. More chats of Quidditch and fond laughter at the little third year whining about homework between all the OWL students was really what everyone needed.

Time dragged on for Harry, Frank and Alice looked out the window curiously as if they were going to see the sun zipping by along with Lily's words, though thankfully they were saved from that experience. When the book did go back to talking about Harry in those lessons, Lily couldn't help her voice shaking again, not needing a repeat to know how much Harry needed this, and yet finally understanding why he'd never want them to stop. Her dismay at this was nothing to the Blacks reaction of finding out the oldest one was to be Kissed.

Sirius would have fallen if his friends hadn't caught him, his face a silent scream of fright, which set Regulus' blood boiling. No one and nothing made his brother look like that! "They can't do that! It's been outlawed- it's never even been allowed it's so beyond words! Just who the bloody hell is trying to hide what doing this to him!"

Hearing his little brother throwing a fit, over him, snapped Sirius out of it like nothing else could have. He'd stood there and watched in wonderment for a moment like everyone else before finally going over to him and wrapping a reassuring arm around his shoulders. Regulus immediately tried to shake him off, still muttering profane things Sirius was a bit proud to hear coming from his young mouth, but held tight. "I want you to remember this moment Reg," Sirius said with conviction. "Purebloods are not any more safe than anyone else from the bad things they do, or are framed for doing." He'd only been trying to distract the both of them from this future horror, but now his kid brother looked even more aghast.

"-But, Sirius, don't you see! This is why the Dark Lord's plans should be followed! He wouldn't let this happen to you!"

Sirius flushed in anger, his arm tightened painfully around the kid, but he remembered how shocked and afraid he'd been when hearing the news of You-Know-Who's real name and birth and forced himself to keep going reasonably. "No, Regulus, it wouldn't. I'll never follow him or what he wants, and he'd do much worse to me because of it. You've got to stop letting others tell you what to do-"

"Like you're doing!" He snapped, finally pulling away. "Both you and our parents just keep saying things, how about giving me a chance to see it for myself? All I've seen so far is someone deciding you're going to get your soul sucked out because you killed a bunch of Muggles! Who cares about them, but under the-"

"Shut up!" Sirius snapped back before he could say it again. "Do you even hear yourself? Murder's okay now, so long as it's not someone who can do magic? What next then, killing Muggleborn's will be okay because it's not you?" To his surprise, Regulus' eyes flinched to Evans and away, it was the first time Sirius had seen him even acknowledge her. "Then who, hum? Wizards without pure blood lines can go to? Then there will just be You-Know-Who's minions, and even those might some day choose to not agree with who goes next, and there won't be anyone left to stop him!"

He took a deep breath and tried to keep himself calm when Regulus just stood there, pale faced but with that insufferably stubborn look still set. He didn't seem to have a rebuttal for that though, for once. "Fine, think whatever you like," he muttered, stamping back to his friends.

Lily felt like backing slowly out of the room so as not to draw attention towards her and invoke another fight like that, even as she'd been unable to look away from the whole thing, completely riveted. The brothers were much more of a spectacle than her and her sister were, she was sure, but still she couldn't help but find herself sympathizing with Sirius Black of all people. She was full of that today apparently, as she wanted to consul the sibling who couldn't get through to the other. It made going back to reading feel ten times more awkward as she kept shooting him anxious looks, an apology or words of understanding on the tip of her tongue for him that he was clearly ignoring even from his own friends.

They were all so distracted it took a few moments for McGonagall's words to sink about Harry's Firebolt being returned to him, than Lily's good mood vanish as fast as it was back for those Marauders. They were a ball of pure energy and excitement Harry got the broom back while she just wanted to chuck it in the trash, considering Harry and Ron even went so far as to rub it in their friends face they'd been right all along. She still remembered Harry nearly being thrown from a broom once, was it beyond her son to admit it could have happened again and better safe than sorry?

She'd thought they were going to end on that high note for Harry, for once, but then another bomb was thrown into the mix for all parties. Hermione's cat had finally eaten Ron's rat. More than one relationship might be irreparable now.

#Harry Potter #fanfiction #reading the books #PoA #wolfstar #jilly #Regulus Black #Remus Lupin #Marauders #James Potter #Sirius Black #Peter Pettigrew #Lily Evans #Frank Longbottom #Alice Smith

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alpaca-writes · 3 years

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Mystics, Chapter 26

When Arch becomes hired on at Mystics by the strange shopkeeper Lyrem Nomadus, everything seems to be going well- in fact, their life nearly becomes perfection. Soon enough, however, Arch realizes that perhaps not everything is as perfect as it seems….

Read Chapters 1-25 and more HERE

Taglist: @myst-in-the-mirror, @livingforthewhump

CW: swearing, body horror, gore, mutilation.

Lyrem and Paimon are finally able to have an honest conversation- well, I say honest... *shrugs* Xx. Alpaca

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CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX: THE GREAT ESCAPE

Segovia’s España, Spanish Dance No.10 in G. A familiar tune to very few unless they were well versed in the world and talents of the Spanish guitar. It was what caused Lyrem to take Arch under their wing. Despite his mistaken memory for what was playing in the coffee shop that day, Lyrem grew attached to the dry humour that they exhibited. But of course, he wouldn’t have bothered to introduce Arch to the world of gods and occult and demons if Pan hadn’t pushed him along in the right direction. And he resisted well, for nearly a month until-

Until they had gotten hurt. Until Arch had been beaten and humiliated and robbed right inside Lyrem’s place of business; Maria’s pride and joy. That was what pushed him over the edge. Arch didn’t deserve to live in fear any longer, and Lyrem would make sure they didn’t.

Returning to the task at hand, Lyrem’s mind was aware of himself in this memory. The coffee shop smelled of old napkins, and coffee and buttery pastry, and the soothing sounds of Segovia played over the speakers. This was meant to be Apollo’s call. It was the one place and the one memory where the gods could travel freely through. Hades had given him a simple instruction:

Open the front door from the inside. That was it. It was very easy, and would alter the memory ever so slightly, but it was doable.

But Lyrem, to Hades’ utter dismay, had a different plan. The last thing he wanted was to open his mind to all sorts of gods and spirits coming and going from one place to the next. There was no telling when it would end, if ever. He wasn’t a stupid old man.

He was just old. And he was also dead. He nearly forgot that.

And he also had a score to settle with an old friend. He wanted to hear what Pan had to say for himself. Lyrem knew he would never get that chance the moment Hades became involved. And at that point, Hades would consume his essence and leave him with nothing.

If this memory was a doorway to Apollo, then it was also a doorway to Pan.

He just had to find his own way through and lock the door behind him.

“Lyre!” The barista shouted across the bistro.

Lyrem did not get his drink. Instead, he glanced from the countertop to the doorway, where a younger version of Arch had just entered and stood before the cork-board, looking for a job. It would be easy to play out the memory the way it was meant to go. He could grab his drink and allow the gods in, or…

“Lyre!” the barista shouted again.

He refused his drink and headed toward the back. A door towards the alley that would lead into Pan’s acquired realm, waited for him there, and the hall extended itself. He heard the panicking voice of Persephone overhead.

“Wait, what is he doing?! Lyrem! Lyrem, stop!

Lyrem, he will destroy you! Please! Stop!”

She wouldn’t be able to manipulate his memory for ever, and sure enough, as Lyrem pushed on, he was slowly making his way closer to the door.

Hades now, was heard overhead in his disappointment.

“From the moment I first saw you, I knew you would fail me,” Hades didn’t seem angry, still. “Enjoy your little trip, Thomas. Consider this the last of the sympathies I ever had for you.”

“Good. I despise sympathy,” Lyrem muttered. Grimacing at the use of his deadname, he opened the back door and stepped through.

-------------------------

“He was just there! How is he gone?!”

“Charlotte, please calm down”-

“Calm down? You want me to calm down, Arty?! I want to wring that motherfucker’s neck. I want to crush his skull and stomp on his b”-

“Enough!” Persephone screamed through. “Please,” she added meekly.

There was a silence that fell amongst the four of them, though, Charlotte was not yet aware of the presence of Hades among them. Clearing her throat, Charlotte stepped forward towards the goddess.

“Persephone, is it?” She confirmed. “Would you be willing to tell me how to leave this place and find my child before that molding dish-rag of a human finds them first? I would be ever so grateful for your assistance.”

Persephone scratched her forehead.

“Um, well, you see… It’s very likely that Lyrem has already found Arch. Time flows very quickly there, so it may feel like minute to us, when, to Arch… well, it could feel like an hour… so…”

“So, you’re useless.” Charlotte surmised. “That’s fantastic.”

Plunking herself down on the sofa, Charlotte massaged her temples with her fingers. Arthur apologized to Persephone silently.

“We thought that Lyrem would have his own best interest in mind, as well as the best interests for their friend, Arch,” she said. “My uncle and I were… we were very wrong to assume he would do the right thing. I am so sorry.”

“How difficult is it to create a void into that realm?” Arthur asked. “I used the Abysmal Flame to bring us here from the Labyrinth, I am sure that I can create another, but I need to know where I’m going.”

Hades was listening in carefully.

“Very few have ever entered that realm and returned, Arthur,” the deep disembodied voice spoke. “And in order to find your way there, you would need substance from that very realm to help you along. I have tried to create a void to travel there from here already. It was the first thing I did, of course, but my nephew has done a very good job of sealing off all of the exits for Persephone and I.”

“You could send me to earth,” Arthur said. “And I could create a void from there”-

“You’ll still need something from that realm, Arthur, and to my knowledge you don’t have that something”-

“I have someone.”

There was a momentary hush.

“You have someone?”

Arthur nodded. “He was taken there by Paimon. I watched him come back. His name is Benji.”

Charlotte scowled and lifted her head. “Oh, please don’t tell me Arch is hanging out with Benji, again.”

“I’ll take Arch hanging out with Benji over a demon any day Charlotte! What about you?” Arthur said, looking back at his sister incredulously.

He shook his head, and turned to Persephone.

“May I ask you for one last favour?” he asked with desperation deep in his eyes.

----------------------------

It was a stark contrast from Hades and Persephone’s temporary living space. Lyrem could hardly keep his eyes open in the bright, blinding yellow light that flooded the room. He landed on both feet, his knees, despite belonging to a dead man, still gave him a twinging pain that caused him to wince.

“Fuck.” Hissing, he shielded his eyes and found his way across, aiming for the door. He was stopped by the sound of a tortured man.

“I sent… I sent out my call…” a voice shone down from above. In equal amounts of disgrace and disgust. “And you… My sister sent… you?”

“My apologies… Apollo,” Lyrem answered him, hearing the suffering carry through the room. But it was nothing that he hadn’t experienced before. “If it’s any consolation, I betrayed your sister and your uncle to get here, so”-

Lyrem shrugged.

Apollo laughed, hollowly, gaining more energy than he had in what felt like a century from the discourse. “Of course, you did… You’re an idiot… Hades was the only one who could stop Pan… and now you’ve destroyed his only chance to come home- and the only chance to save us all from my insane half-brother.”

Lyrem shifted his gaze away from the torn-open god before him. Gripping the doorknob tightly, he hesitated leaving Apollo there. But only for a moment. There were more important things to take care of.

“I am sorry, Apollo,” he breathed guiltily.

Lyrem forced his way through the door and into the hall. He turned right, despite not knowing his way around the realm at all, and definitely not in the dark. The movements of decayed flesh and their guttural sobs cut through the hall, echoing through the silence, but he brushed them aside. Besides finding the human visitor mildly interesting, they did not advance on him any further.

Carefully, he traveled down and up steps of stairs, and then found his way to the winding staircase that would lead him to the surface. There was more light there, lining the halls of the cavern so he could finally see properly. The hall was dotted with doors on either side, none of them were open except for one.

The double set of doors that was ajar just slightly.

From outside the decorated panels, Lyrem heard the midst of conversation inside.

“—That’s better.”

“It would be easier with proper surgical tools. Why am I still using this old thing, anyway?”

“I’m sure your uncle wouldn’t mind that it’s been passed on to you,” Paimon was personally thrilled with the notion that Uncle Arty’s knife was being used to inflict pain. He didn’t want to replace it. “For now, however, I think we can put this cretin into a cell.”

“What? But I’m not finished with him yet,” Arch proposed. “Can’t I do this for just a little while longer?”

Paimon raised a dark brow and sensed the slightest shifting shadow near the door. Suddenly, he was feeling quite generous with his time.

“Tell me Arch, what would you like to do next?”

“I’ve never cut out a tongue before- are there any magical properties that come with that?”

Paimon chuckled, “some tongues, perhaps. Not Marcus’.”

Lyrem shut his eyes in darkening shame and sighed from hearing the willingness of Arch’s voice. Opening the door more fully, he stepped through and stood at the head of the table, far from where the carved meat was pinned to the table.

“I thought we were saving this gift for Arch’s birthday,” he commented.

Arch’s head flipped toward the door, painted with a wide and bloody grin.

“Lyrem! You made it out! I knew you’d make it out!” they gestured toward Paimon who stood, hooves and all, in his truest form. “Paimon didn’t think you would, but I knew better than to doubt you.”

Lyrem forced himself to greet Arch with a warmth he didn’t feel. They were bloodied up from head to foot, and none of the blood was their own. He shifted his gaze to Pan, taking in his old friend with a new sight; hooves, antlers, and all.

Paimon watched him suspiciously. “Arch,” he addressed. “I’m afraid I will have to cut our lessons short. Lyrem and I have some catching up to do”-

“No, please,” Lyrem walked forward, placing himself beside Arch as he refuted Paimon’s suggestion. “Don’t stop on my account. I think that there are some very valuable lessons to be learned here. Lessons about truth and the inherent value of tongues- particularly silver ones, at that.”

With the tension rising inexplicably, Arch shifted away from Lyrem and table.

“Look, I know a cat-fight is brewing here, so, I think I will just… go to my room”-

“Phenomenal idea.” “You should stay.”

Paimon steeled his gaze at Lyrem and grinned toothily.

Arch sighed breathily and sunk their shoulders. Looking down at themselves, they shook their head.

“Really, though, I desperately need a shower, so I’ll catch up with you later, Ly.” Arch held out a bloodied fist and waited for their old boss to bump it. He did so, very lightly.

Ly? He mouthed to himself. He watched Arch leave the dining hall, and then turned his attention back to Paimon.

“Different, aren’t they?” he started.

“What did you do to them?”

The words, came through gruff and accusatory. Paimon widened his eyes in response, and his smile fell.

“I helped them discover their potential,” he answered. Idly, he approached the tied-up Marcus, and pulled the gag out of his mouth. Switching subjects, he asked him, “didn’t I?”

Marcus did his best to nod, though the tears still threatened to take over. In a moment of lost dignity, the boy looked at Lyrem with pleading eyes, and whispered to him.

“P-please s-sir… Please don’t leave me here w-with him. Ple”-

Paimon snapped his fingers. Marcus vanished from the table entirely leaving a bloody body outline behind. Lyrem looked back at him, befuddled.

“Where did he go? Where did you send him?”

Paimon shrugged and shook his head. “I don’t know. I think into space somewhere.”

“Of course,” Lyrem acknowledged quietly.

“I imagine you have spoken with my uncle?”

“I have.” Lyrem affirmed.

“Enjoyable, was it?”

“Oh, no,” he answered. “Absolutely not.”

Paimon raised a brow and conjured up two whiskies. He handed one off to Lyrem and pulled up a chair. They sat at the corner of the table, nursing their drinks as they often did.

“You and I are of the same opinion then. I don’t understand why Perse decided to live with him. Our father wasn’t so bad- granted, he was never around,” Paimon sipped his glass. “I suppose you’ll be calling me Pan now, won’t you?”

Lyrem nearly scolded Paimon for thinking so lowly of him. He took a moment to collect himself before speaking.

“We choose who we are,” he said. “Some of us are simply not born into the roles that we wish to have, so we must create those roles for ourselves. Arch chose theirs. I chose mine. You chose yours, long ago. Arch and I would be the last to look down upon you for trying to control your own fate.”

Paimon tugged at his long beard lightly as he contemplated something deeply.

“That is a relief, I must say.”

“I admit, I am chafed that you put me on their most wanted list under the guise of self-preservation. Did you really need to trap Hades and Persephone because of some family spat?”

“It wasn’t a spat, Lyrem,” he countered. “They wouldn’t stop trying to control everything I did. They couldn’t even trust me with a realm of my own. They stole everything from me! Do you know what the Labyrinth is? What it really is?!

It’s my realm! Or what should be my realm! It should have light, and colour, and vibrant, lush wilderness! They took that from me, all because they thought I was having too much fun.

I created Paimon and hid myself away for centuries because of them. I stayed on Earth because it was the closest thing I had to being home again- And that is all I ever wanted. I just want- I just want to have my home back!”

Paimon rubbed his hand over his mouth, realizing how much he had packed away and thought he would never speak of to another soul. He grimaced and drank down his whisky with a tightened grip. His glass refilled itself a second later.

“Hades… My uncle…betrayed me. As did Persephone, and Apollo,” Paimon looked away, off to one side of the room as he continued. “I don’t care what I have to do, I will make them suffer for as long as I can.”

Lyrem nodded solemnly and silently raised his glass and drank it down. Changing the subject rather abruptly, he judged Paimon with care.

“And what about the hearts? Persephone said they were useless,” he mentioned.

Paimon demeanor swiftly turned. He chuckled.

“They are, they really are. Well, for you and Arch they are. All that corruption feeds back into me so that I can control this realm- even if its not technically mine. I simply gave you power as you needed it. None of it truly ever belonged to you.”

“Son of a bitch,” Lyrem breathed, rubbing his forehead.

“Don’t worry, all those little charms- the adorable little blood magicks you taught yourself before we met, those all still work. But, truthfully Lyrem, if anything happened to me, you’d have been done for a long time ago. Caput.”

Lyrem sniffed indignantly and straightened his posture.

“Well, I am glad that I have you as a reliable friend.”

“Mm.” Paimon nodded slightly as he refilled Lyrem’s emptied glass. “Do you plan to tell Arch what you’ve learned?”

Lyrem looked up, studying Paimon’s expression the best that he could, hoping that he had learned enough about the god to sound convincing.

“If I did, then I would spoil all the fun,” he said, “can’t have that, now, can we?”

Paimon’s mouth was left agape as he heard the response. It shocked him. As Lyrem lifted his glass again, Paimon suddenly stopped him with a hand out, swiping his drink away. Lyrem looked at him with a shock and concern as it vanished into thin air.

“What was that for?”

“I poisoned it.” Paimon said simply.

“Poisoned it!? With what!?” Incredulously, Lyrem stared at the god.

“Dillitirio Psyche,” he answered. “It would have eaten your soul from the inside out.”

Lyrem blinked.

“Delightful.”

Paimon stood from his seat and paced through the room. Lyrem stood, just watching him carefully.

“I have a constant distrust of people in my vicinity,” Paimon spoke more to himself than anyone else in the room. “I know it’s a problem, and I am working on that. I was concerned that once you spoke to my uncle that you would no longer believe it to be worth being my friend- especially after…”

Paimon didn’t finish that particular train of thought and instead created a new one.

“But the past is in the past, correct?”

“We only have what is ahead of us,” Lyrem finished for him. “There is no purpose in dwelling on what we cannot change.”

Paimon stopped pacing, and charged Lyrem, throwing him into a wide hug. This was new. Lyrem could hardly remember a time he had hugged anyone that wasn’t his wife. Regardless, it was clear to him that Paimon needed a friend now more than ever and so he welcomed the embrace and wrapped his arms around Paimon as well. They lingered there for a while.

With an awkward patting of the back, Lyrem pulled himself away. Paimon grinned with satisfaction and patted his friend’s shoulder.

“Thank you for always being there for me,” he said, genuinely.

Lyrem swallowed.

“Of course. After all,” he said, nodding, “what are friends for?”

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paradiselostbythedashboardlight · 3 years

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Quarantine, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Wrote 430,943 Words of Prose in a Year

As we are coming up terrifyingly fast on a full year of quarantine with no end to the pandemic yet in sight for most people, I’ve been taking some time to reflect on the last year of my existence in a state that most people now refer to as quarantine. Since March of 2020, I, like most other sane people in my country, have stopped traveling, going to stores, seeing all but a limited group of other humans, and begun having recurring nightmares about being in crowds without a piece of cloth over my nose and mouth.

Suffice to say, it has been a bit stressful.

The other thing that I have done since COVID-19 began rapidly spreading across the globe last year is write over 430,943 words of fiction.

The number seems insane to me still. That is (approximately) one Gone With The Wind, one entire Lord of the Rings series, or the first four Harry Potter books. That is still sadly not yet War and Peace (but who knows… the pandemic isn’t over yet).

So now that I am looking back, I find myself with one question: how did this happen? Why did I do this? What does this mean about my life this year?

Since apparently I answer best by writing a lot, let’s begin at the beginning. Let me tell you a story. I’ll keep it short, I swear.

Part 1: Blast From the Past

In March of 2020, I was still in the midst of an academic semester. There was a long academic document to write and a class to teach. However, as quarantine abruptly robbed me of most of my usual commitments, I was suddenly thrust into the position of having more time on my hands than I knew what to do with. Consequently, I decided to break out the Nintendo Switch I’d gotten for Christmas and revive a childhood interest in video games.

And boy did I. I played the games I owned for all they were worth. I played them during the evenings when I had no social engagements to attend. I played them during the Zoom meetings I was already struggling to pay attention to. By the end of March, I had finished one game, and it had set the wheels turning in my brain.

Here’s a fact about me: I don’t usually tend to write or read a lot of fanfiction about things that I consider really really good. Basically, fanfiction for me has always been an impulse born from incompletion or imperfection. I see no need to add to a perfect story (although I happily consume and create fanart). But for something enjoyable and yet slightly unsatisfying? That’s fanfic territory, bud.

So by April, I had developed a sort of epic fanfiction for this video game I was playing. It was one of those magnum opus kind of ideas, a grand retelling of the story with a huge sprawling plot and Themes (™).

At first, it was merely a thought experiment that lived only in my head, a sort of entertainment to ponder in the hours before falling asleep. What changed? Well, a friend of mine decided to also write a fanfiction on the same video game and she kindly consented to let me read it.

Suddenly, I was ravenously hungry to read and to write and to share and to consume. I wrote a hundred thousand words of this fanfic in April and into early May, sending each chapter to my friend and being spurred onward by her kind comments.

The fic became a gargantuan endeavor full of strange little challenges I set for myself. It was a canon-divergence, requiring plotting, worldbuilding, a darker and grimer tone. For some reason, I decided to write each chapter from a different character’s perspective, making the final product into a series of essentially short story character studies which together formed a plot.

By the end of May, the story was published for the world to see. It was well-received, although not particularly popular by fandom standards. And that was the end. I had gotten out my pandemic crazies, the semester was over and now I could move on. I had made my peace with the source material, plumbing all of the little details that I wanted to examine and creating a narrative that I found satisfying.

It was over.

Part 2: Summer Lovin?

Except that it wasn’t.

Confession: as I had been posting my giant fanfiction, I had also begun to explore the fan community itself, mostly curious to see some nice art and gather a bit of demographic info about what was popular within the community. As a result, I found a fanfic recommendations page. Among the recommendations was one author who kept popping up and i finally decided to give the fic a read.

Woah. It was good. Like, really good. Like, professional quality writing and themes that seemed designed to appeal to me. I devoured everything that the creator had posted in a week and then subscribed to eagerly wait for more.

As June rolled around, I realized that I had a problem on my hands. My great big gen masterpiece was finished, but this author had gotten me hooked on something else, something with a nefarious reputation online: shipping.

The term du jour for this seems to be “brain worms” so let’s just say that reading other fanworks had given me some brain worms. Inspired this time not just by the source material of the game, but now the fan community itself, my mind began to develop another idea.

I wrote the fic, about 11k, in a single afternoon of frantic writing. When I finished it, I knew it was one of my strongest pieces. It had just come together, a combination of all the thought that I’d been brewing up and a stylistic execution that just worked with the story I wanted to tell.

I posted it on a new account. Shipping seemed vaguely shameful to me still and my mom reads the other account.

To my surprise, the fic blew up. It got so much more attention than my long fic ever had. Even more significantly, a fan artist actually drew a gorgeous comic of the pivotal scene, completely out of the blue! I was essentially thunderstruck. Honestly, it was probably the first time in my life that I’d ever received so much positive reinforcement from a piece of writing.

While I’d written short stories for undergrad workshops, they’d never been particularly good and I’d never gotten particularly great feedback on them. I’d applied and been rejected by more MFAs and literary magazines than I could count. I’d pretty much resigned myself to writing for an audience of me and me alone (which I don’t mean to sound tragic about, writing for you is great and fun!)

But receiving so much support and praise and feeling like I’d made other people happy or sad or moved? There’s nothing better.

This makes my decision to write another fic for the ship sound vaguely cynical, the action of a person driven by an addiction to praise. I mean, no lie, aren’t we all a little addicted to approval?

But my next fic was another long one, an 80k passion project modern AU that I dreamed up while spending a slow summer alone with my books and only able to leave the house for long rambling walks in the woods. The premise was essentially about characters attending a five year college reunion, something that I myself had missed due to COVID in May of the same year. The fic quickly became a way for me to process thoughts on a lot of topics in my life ranging from relationships to politics to mental health to classical literature.

This fic was also received with far more attention than I was used to and, as a result, I finally joined the notorious Twitter dot com where I found people talking about my fic unprompted, eager to follow me and like my every random thought.

I can’t say that this process was not without its ups and downs. Fandom has changed, in many ways for the better, since my last engagement with it during the 2013 Supernatural days on Tumblr. While fan friendships are often idealized or demonized, they are pretty much like any other human friendship (okay, maybe a little bit more horny on main). There is potential for amazing connection as well as pettiness. But in a year where many people suddenly had no social spaces that were safe anymore, I’m glad that I found a new line of communication with the world.

So I kept writing fics for the ship, producing a lot of work that I am genuinely proud of and making connections with other people who enjoyed it enough to leave a comment.

To conclude this section, I was in fandom again. While I had not seriously engaged with a fan community since around 2014, I was back with a vengeance. And I had discovered an important truth about what unlocked my ability to write more than I ever had before: community support.

Not simply the kudos and the views. It was the comments. The discourse. The discussion. To add and contribute my thoughts and ideas to a greater network of thoughts and ideas that fed off of one another.

Often I had seen people complain about there not being enough fanworks for particular media or characters. Now I knew the secret. The comments and the community created the works. If I commented on other people’s fics, the more likely they were to write more. I made a resolution I have tried to keep, to comment on any story that I legitimately enjoyed reading, even if I had no particularly intelligent thing to say about it.

Part 3: A Novel Idea

By late October, I had produced a considering oeuvre for my ship of choice and was enjoying slowing my pace as I planned a few future projects.

Remember, though, how I mentioned not having engaged with fandom for the past 5 years? Well, that didn’t mean I hadn’t been writing.

For the past 4 years, I have won NaNoWriMo and completed 4 novels of over 100k each in length. These projects have been massively fun and improved my confidence with executing stories at the scope that I desire.

And so in November 2020, I settled down to write another novel. November is always a sort of terrible time write a novel if you work in academia, but this year, I had more time than usual. I set out to write a comedy fantasy novel, something mostly lighthearted and full of hijinks in order to pretend away some of the quarantine blues (which by this point were well established in my psyche).

This year in particular, I was reminded that writing a novel is… harder than fanfic. That seems like a very obvious point, but I’d written novels before. Suddenly, though, I was realizing how much a novel requires you to set up the world and the characters, while fanfic can be pretty much all payoff all the time.

While the fanfic flowed in wild creative bursts of energy, the novel required diligence of another sort. I wrote 2,000 words every day for two months. It was a grind. Sometimes, it was a slog.

And sometimes it just wasn't good. The thing about writing your own novels is that the first draft is way more likely to be not good. You’re balancing a lot and it’s easy to let a few balls that you have in the air drop for a chapter or two, with no recourse but to go back and edit later.

I finished the novel by writing a final speedrun of 6k on new years eve, ending my 2020 with another project under my belt. No one has read it. Not even I have reread it.

I’m still glad that I wrote it. I’ll write another one next year. No one will read that one either.

Sometimes, we write for ourselves and no external validation is necessary.

Part 4: Where are they now?

January of 2021 is somehow now behind me, which is terrifying. I’m still writing. Mostly fanfic, although occasionally I go doodle around with some original ideas that are more conceptual sketches for the next novel.

As for the fanfic, I think I still have a few more good ideas left in me, but I will probably leave it behind before the year is out. That feels a little bittersweet, a sort of temporary burst of fun and friendship that I wonder if I’ll ever experience again.

Coming to the end of this reflection, I suppose I should make a summative statement about what it all means.

In the end, it might not mean a lot. There are some small takeaways.

It turns out that encouragement makes you write more! Who knew? Also, more free time makes you write more! Wow!!!!

The point that I think this reflection exercise has shown me, the point that I think matters more than any other, is that writing is a way to process my thoughts. Even if it is through the lens of ridiculous video game fanfic or novels about sad wizards, my writing is my way to make sense of my own mind.

And sharing that is special. If you share it with online strangers, with your family on Christmas Eve, with your close friend who has become even closer and dearer to you since she let you read her work, or just with your mom (the one personal legally required to read your damn novel if you want to share it). To share writing is to give someone a little peek at your beliefs about the world.

And right now? When we’re still isolated and bored and scared and in desperate need of distraction? Binge some TV, play Nintendo, read a book. Take in other people’s thoughts.

But put down your own somewhere as well. It’s a conversation.

And for once, it’s a conversation that doesn’t have to take place on fucking Zoom.

#writing #personal rambling #fanfiction

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