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whatyadrawin · 6 months

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The Fruit After The Flesh 18+ -CHAPTER 2-

Masterlist

Approximately 2,663 words

Pairing: Thomas Hewitt(HeadCanon) x AFAB reader

This chapters Warnings: Moderately strong language

A/n: This is the chapter giving more context and backstory to the Hewitts and the rude farmhand. Things pick up from here and will continue to keep on that exciting trajectory but remind yourself that I am the lord of the slow burn lol, I like building up to the fleshy bits. The artwork is what's keeping these chapters from coming out so quickly, I didn't want to go full flat color this time but goddamn my ADHD symptoms are making shit a lot harder to focus on so please have patience, I assure you all it is worth it. Please enjoy and keep an eye on the masterlist linked above for updates.

tag list: @fan-goddess

Chapter 2

The next day came with less heat than the first, the sun was frequently blocked out by thick white clouds that rolled against its light causing brief shadows to lay on the land. You started unpacking more and more things from the container you shipped to the house before you moved, making sure that everything that you needed was properly put away. Eventually it was time to head over to Luda Mae’s house and you wanted to make sure to look presentable for tea time. Thoughts of what her family was like raced through your head, you especially wanted to know who the mysterious masked man was. You slipped on a nice pink sundress that you made yourself, you covered your shoulders with a white cropped cardigan and some white sandals that were comfortable to walk in.

You decide to visit the farmhand again in an attempt to make friends so he wouldn’t be so hostile, you grab your things and head down before you make your way to Luda Mae’s home. You spot him tending to a peach tree and you walk over.

“Hey there, I don’t mean to bug you when you’re busy but I just wanted to see if you would take a break and chat for a bit?” you tried to use your friendliest smile.

“Ya can’t see I’m busy girl? Why don’t you go screw off with your riches and leave the farm to the only person caring for it all these years!” his words were so needlessly callous, but you continue,

“I know you’re busy but why don’t you tell me what I can do to help? It doesn’t have to all land on your shoulders anymore”

He laughs to himself and says “Why? So, ya can just fire me when ya get the hang o’ things? Women can’t do this kinda labor, why dontcha just sit there and look pretty”

The sexism was shocking but you didn’t want to let that garbage stop you “I understand you are upset from the change but I assure you I just want to be friendly and helpful”

He turns to you with a smug look “What kinda friendly we talkin’ ‘bout here?”

You get creeped out as he stops his work and looks at you in a more predatory way, but you persist,

“I just mean you don’t have to worry about doing all the work by yourself, I can help you, and by friendly... I just want to have a civil professional relationship with you, nothing more”

“Thinkin’ ya deserve some kinda good treatment huh? How ‘bout me? Don’t I deserve compensation for the work I did all these years? I ain’t talkin’ bout wages neither”

You wonder what he means by that, so you try offering solutions “What do you need? Maybe I can get you a better living situation or more tools to make the work easier?”

He didn’t like anything you had to say, “Ya think it’s just that simple? I like where I live, I like being left ALONE!”

You feel a knot forming in your throat, being treated like this was so hurtful “Ok, well, I’ll leave you to it then. Have a good rest of the day”

He made you feel like shit, all the memories of people bullying you and your old friend were coming back and you just wanted to get away. Your heart was racing with anger and the familiar feeling of an old depression started to creep back in.

You start making your way towards Luda Mae’s home and hope that the walk calms your nerves and lifts your spirits enough to enjoy the rest of your day. The sun was peeking out from behind the thick clouds and brightened the dry road before you, tiny little white flowers sparsely lined the sides of the road and made you smile. You closed your eyes and made your mind blank, only listening to the gentle wisps of the wind rustling the tall wheatgrass, and the crunch of dry dirt with every step you took, some birds could be heard in the distance chirping cheerfully. You felt like you were in a different universe where time stood still and it was just you and the earth around you.

Shortly, you arrive at Luda Mae’s property, she had a wire fence blocking the four grazing cows in and there were a lot of cars sitting in a lot near the main house, it seemed odd but you just assumed maybe one of them was a mechanic. You walk up toward the barn and hope to see that mysterious masked man but the barn is empty minus some clucking chickens strutting around. You make your way up to the door and knock, an older man answers it, he looks you up and down and smiles,

“Well now, I didn’t know it was my birthday” he says. You can hear Luda Mae yell at him to shut up and let you in. He drops the smile and waves you in, making you walk closely to get past him. Luda Mae meets you as you walk in and she introduces you,

“Sorry ‘bout him sweetheart, this is my brother Charlie. Come on in dear, I can’t wait to talk with you, Loretta brought some real good tea for us to enjoy” She gestures for you to follow her and you speak to Charlie as you pass through,

“Nice to meet you Charlie, I’m Y/N*”

He smiles as he looks at you saying “Mhmm, I’ll remember that” you feel a shiver of discomfort after he says that.

You follow Luda Mae through the house which has very old furnishings, its large with high ceilings that are dotted with large fans to circulate the air; The décor was definitely very dated but kept clean, the furnishings may have once displayed wealth in a past long gone. In a large living room, you see a man reading a newspaper, Luda Mae stops at the doorway,

“Hey Monty, turn ‘round a sec”

The man was older, he turns around peering through his large thick glasses “Yeah?”

“I’d like you to meet the young woman who took over Tilly’s orchard!”

He sets down his paper and tried to turn to face you better “Oh! I didn’t know Tilly had children?”

Luda Mae replies “No, this is Y/N, she is a distant relative of hers”

You make a shy response “It’s nice to meet you sir”

He smiles “Well she’s real polite ain’t she? Nice to meet you too kiddo, I’m uncle Monty”

Luda Mae guides you over to the back porch which has Loretta already seated at the table. Luda Mae waves to her and says,

“Loretta, this is Tilly’s family, the one I told you ‘bout”

Loretta was a big woman, her cheeks were rosy and full, her dyed black hair was perfectly styled up into pin curls remniscent of another time, she smiled and said “Well, now ain’t she just a pretty little thing!”

Luda Mae gave you a smile and sits you down in the chair next to Loretta, you set down your basket and go to shake her hand saying “It’s really nice to meet you Loretta, my name in Y/N”

Loretta smiles and Luda Mae asks what you have in the basket you brought. You lift the basket onto the table and show them the fruits you picked for them today. Luda Mae claps in approval saying,

“That is so kind of you to bring some fruit over, I ain’t had a good peach since Tilly passed.”

You still weren’t quite sure about the way Tilly had died, you did not get much information out of the Lawyer and the files said there was no reason for an autopsy since she was so old. You ask Luda Mae and Loretta about it

“I don’t want to open old wounds or anything but, do either of you know how she died? I never got a proper answer”

They both looked at each other and Loretta answered “Well now Tilly was very well liked by everyone who knew her, she lived here a while you know. While yes, she was old, she was still in good shape and the sheriff’s department in the next town over didn’t give us any details, just said it was from old age and left it at that”

Luda Mae chimes in “I am suspicious that Dover did it”

“Luda Mae!” Loretta shouted in shock.

Luda Mae crosses her arms and continues “That farmhand has been a cruel and unappreciative man for as long as I remember, I tried to tell her to get rid of him what with all his talk about taking the orchard someday, but she was too kind-hearted and wasn’t able to keep up with the demands of caring for the trees. She was always looking for the good in people, even the evil ones. Bless that woman.”

Loretta nodded in agreement that Tilly was kind, she looked at you and said,

“You know, Fuller was doing well in the past, there was big business in cattle and meat packing. Everyone was makin’ good money ‘til the ranchers died and their property managers sold off the cattle to northern companies, that killed this towns economy. People were leaving in droves and so was the money.”

Luda Mae looked out into the field and added “It got to the point where we all had to resort to terrible things just to survive, but there was no way I’d let my family starve.”

Loretta gave Luda Mae a stern look, her eyes wide, she cut in “That is until Tilly decided to plant a bunch of fruit trees from the seeds of the fruit she bought from the store. The Texas sun made those little sprouts explode into full size trees, and she had us all fed by the fruits they made, we didn’t have to just survive no more, we were able to live normally again. It was all thanks to her”

You smile at the fact that someone from your family was regarded so highly, it gave you a warm feeling. Luda Mae pours you some tea and follows up with,

“Tilly made sure that we had animals to provide us with bounty, everyone shared what they had, even before the trees were makin’ enough to bring in money, in return we gave her the manure for the trees.”

Loretta looked antsy, she changed the subject “Well now, that’s enough of those depressing times.”

Luda Mae and Loretta started talking about the town and how things used to be, you sat listening to them for an hour until you noticed the mysterious masked man. He was heading toward the barn and you could see him tending to the cows inside, he was even bigger in person, his body looked like it was used to working hard, his muscles were large but had no hard edges as if his strength was supplemented with a rich diet full of American cooking. The man was brushing the cows, plumes of dust and dirt would fly out from each swish of the brush. To see him close was astonishing, you felt like you were seeing a new kind of human, he was so gentle with the animals and yet his appearance was very intimidating. You tried to look and see if you could get a glimpse of his face but his back was turned to you.

Luda Mae notices you looking and says “I see you’ve noticed my boy there”

You snap out of your trance and blush in embarrassment, she laughs and adds,

“He’s a real handsome one if I do say so myself, his name is Thomas. He’s real shy, but as sweet as they come. He’s a good boy, extremely helpful with managing the animals and taking care of the property.” She pauses and puts her hand to her chin “You know, he’s ‘round your age and its high time he meets someone nice, I’m gonna call him over.”

You felt butterflies for the first time in years, you quickly respond “That’s ok, he looks pretty busy, maybe he should be left alone”

Luda Mae smiles “Come now dear, he can come say hi, it ain’t no bother” She calls out to him “TOMMY! COME SAY HELLO TO THIS NICE YOUNG LADY!”

Tommy looks up quickly, he spots you on the porch and freezes.

Luda Mae yells after him again, “THOMAS BROWN HEWITT, YOU COME HERE RIGHT QUICK! DON’T BE RUDE NOW!”

He furiously shakes his head, turns and runs into the barn out of sight.

Luda Mae sighs “I’m sorry sweetheart, he really is a very nice boy, he’s just awfully shy, especially ‘round pretty girls, the poor dear”

You felt a wave of relief that someone else was maybe as anxious about meeting new people like you were, you reply “It’s ok, I’m sure I’ll meet him when he’s ready”

Luda Mae gently places her hand on yours “I’ll make sure of it, he needs to make some friends, it gets mighty lonely ‘round here. With someone as sweet as you I’m sure you two’d get along just fine”

Loretta takes a final sip of tea and gets up saying “Well, time for me ‘n Monty to head home, thanks for the conversation, Y/N, it was a real treat to meet you”

Luda Mae thanks Loretta for the tea and says goodbye, she then turns to you and says,

“Well, I know you probably want to get back to that orchard, please don’t let that prickly pear Dover get to you, Tilly kept him ‘round because he worked hard, no matter how awful he behaved, just let him be, pay him and ignore him the rest of the time. If you make friends with my Tommy, well, I’m sure Dover won’t be a terror”

You get up from your seat and say “Luda Mae, am I in danger with Dover?”

Luda Mae puts her hand on her heart and says “I’m so sorry for scaring you dear that was real thoughtless of me. I’m suspicious of Dover yes, but there’s no way he will hurt you, none of us will let him”

You thank her for the tea and leave from the back porch making your way towards the barn hoping to get a closer look at Tommy. When you reach the barn doors you see Tommy on the opposite side of the barn facing the open doors fiddling with some hay. The butterflies are welling up in your stomach making you feel sick with excitement, you stand there watching this enormous man whose back was extremely wide and his forearms were thick and scarred. You were struggling to take in as much of his image as you could before you could quietly sneak off, just as your eyes started travelling down south, he turned around and saw you.

“I-I’m sorry!” you squeaked as you bolted off down the driveway.

You felt so embarrassed at being caught watching him, you hoped he didn’t think poorly of you. You spent the walk home trying to calm the butterflies and stop blushing -I can’t believe how creepy of me that was, he is going to think I’m a freak!-. When you get home, you see that Dover was in his small house watching something on a small tube tv with a large bunny ear antenna. You feel sad that his accommodations are so meager and decide to speak with him again tomorrow to try just one more time to get in his good graces, you always believed that you could kill them with kindness, especially in the event that he really was a danger as Luda Mae said, then you would want to be in his good graces. You start to make dinner and think to yourself -I hope I am able to properly meet Tommy-.

Next chapter-

#what ya writin #thomas hewitt #thomas hewitt x y/n #slasher community #thomas hewitt x afab reader #leatherface 2006 #texas chainsaw massacre #my art #the fruit after the flesh

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bad268 · 2 years

Note

Hi! Could you do a enemies to lovers with Minho. You guys were both taken by WICKD at a young age and became pretty good childhood friends and then later you started dating in your teens. Minho was then taken away and you rebelled with Thomas and they sent you up. In the maze you don’t get along with Minho but then suddenly you both get a memory of you two dating from before the maze. Angst and you don’t get together until scorch trials? Jealous Minho lolol. Love ur work!

It’s Always Been Minho (TMR Minho X Reader)

Fandom: The Maze Runner

Requested: Clearly

Warnings: WICKED

Pronouns: She/Her

W.C. 5124

Summary: Minho and the reader were together before the maze. What will happen in the maze and after they get out?

As always, my requests and ships are OPEN

MASTERLIST // HITLIST

~~(^Google/Wiki fandom)

I couldn’t see. The last thing I saw was the WICKD workers taking me out of the little cave I called home after my parents went crazy. They caught the Flare.

I couldn’t remember all that happened. I recall them saying I would be safer with them rather than on my own. They said they wanted to help find a cure. They said I was immune. I didn’t know what that meant. I was four.

My head hurts. I think I was screaming. It could have been someone else. Who knew? It has only been a week since I followed those WICKD soldiers out of my cave. They took me to their facility. There were more people there. I didn’t get to meet any of them, but I saw them when I first walked in. I was the youngest. I didn’t like it.

They told me it was a simple test. They wanted to see my brain waves when I did puzzles. Then, they knocked me out, and now, it hurts. There’s a boy in the bed next to me. He stopped screaming a while ago. The nurses and doctors refused to come in while we were screaming, and he learned that the hard way.

By the time I stopped screaming, another person a few rooms over started. “I hate this. It hurts.”

“Tell me about it,” the boy said, turning to glare at me. “You didn't have someone next to you screaming their head off for the last hour.”

“My bad,” I sassed, looking over to meet his gaze. “By the sound of it, everyone reacts this way at first.”

“You’d be right about that one,” he laughed. “Last time a nurse came in here was to drop you off. That was a few hours ago.”

“How long have you been in here?”

“Since yesterday,” he signed, flipping over to his side. “Said I could leave this morning but never told me anything after that.”

“I’m sorry. Probably my fault. I’m (Y/N).”

“Or they’re just jerks,” he laughed again. “I’m Minho.”

~4 years later~

There was knocking. I was sure of it. A few minutes passed by before I heard it again. This time, I stood up to open my door only to find Minho leaning against the wall.

“Took you long enough, sweetcheeks,” he whispered.

“Are you insane?” I seethed, moving to pull him into my room. “Them WICKD workers could kill you for sneaking out.”

“Oh yeah?” He asked, rhetorically as he moved towards my bed. “What good’ll that do them? They need us.”

“Point is that they’re sticklers for rules, and one of the main rules is to not leave our rooms after lights out.”

“Again, what’ll they do? Kill me? Doubt that,” he smirked as he wrapped his arms around my waist to pull me down to the bed on top of him as he laid down. “Plus, I got news.”

“What kind of news?”

“Good news,” he smiles. “Everyone’s merging.”

“Like everyone everyone or most of us?”

“Well, obviously the golden four won't be with us, but I heard we’re gonna be allowed to eat together, go to classes together, and we’ll have roommates.”

“They would never room you with me,” I laughed at his statements. “They’ll stick you with Newt and me with Harriet.”

“Unless they group us in those two huge rooms by the stairs,” he offered. “Maybe they’ll split us into the groups they’re prepping us for.”

“If they do that, they’re probably going to split us by gender,” I countered. “I heard group A was going to be the guys and group B was the girls.”

“Well, I guess I’ll be sneaking into the girls’ room every night.”

“Take a lady to dinner first.”

“I literally eat with you at every meal!”

~4 years later~

I couldn’t sleep. I just couldn’t shut down. This room was too big, too echo-y. Every little sound caused anxiety to rise in my chest. I didn’t like this new room. I missed my isolated cell. I miss Minho randomly stopping by and talking for hours. It’s been years since the merge, but I still do not like it.

Then, I heard the door close. I pretended to be asleep, in fear of the WICKD guards catching me again. The footsteps echoed through the room, but they did not sound like the boots of other WICKD workers. They sounded like someone was being careful of where they were going like they were searching for someone.

“Pst,” they whispered. “I hate that you guys can’t stick with one format. Like they’re just beds! Why do you have to rearrange it so often?”

“Maybe you boys are just boring,” I laughed in response, immediately recognizing the voice as Minho. “Why do you come in here every night?”

“Maybe I just want to see you, sweetcheeks,” he teased as he continued to move around the room blindly until he tripped over something on the ground. “What's with all this clunk?”

“Shut up, Minho! If you want to hang with your girlfriend, take her out and let us sleep!” One of the girls exclaimed. With a groan, and probably an eye-roll, he got up and found my bed.

“Finally,” he let out a breath. “Now, you want to get out of here?”

“Take a lady to dinner first,” I laughed.

“What if I want our first date to be a walk in the park?” He offered before pausing, “or facility. We don't have a park.”

“What if I said yes?”

“Then, I will take you out right now.”

“Okay,” I giggled. “Let me grab a jacket and my shoes real quick.”

“Here,” he said, taking his hoodie off, revealing a long sleeve WICKD shirt underneath. He helped me put it over my head once I sat up in my bunk. “Take mine. I bet you’d look cute in it”

“Oh, smooth, Min,” I replied, sarcastically. “Now, lead the way.”

He grabbed my hand, pulling me out of the large room into the hallway where we met up with Alby.

“Took you bloody long enough,” Alby complained. “We almost got caught twice!”

“Didn’t take you as a stickler,” Minho shot back.

“Last I thought, you were just going in and getting the girl,” Alby laughed as he pushed himself up from where he was sitting on the floor. “Didn’t realize it’d take you 20 minutes.”

“Okay, shut up both of you,” I stated. “You need to pack your patience.”

“And you just got shut down by a girl,” Minho laughed. He pulled me along, leaving Alby behind. “Let’s go, you lazy shanks! We’re going to kidnap Thomas and Teresa.”

“That was the plan?” I wondered. “How are we going to get them to follow us?”

“Just say we found something cool,” Alby laughed. “They’re probably bored as heck in their rooms all day. They don’t get to see anyone besides the doctors and each other, so anything is better than nothing.”

“Exactly,” Minho agreed as we continued down the hallway towards their respective rooms that were at opposite ends of the hall. “We can also show them what WICKD is trying to get us to do. Show them what kind of experiments they are doing to us.”

“I’ll get Teresa, you guys get Thomas,” I said, stopping her room, as the others continue to the other end. I raise my hand to knock, and almost immediately, Teresa opens the door. “Come on. We’re gonna take a tour.”

“Anything to get out of this room,” she laughed, closing her door behind her, and we started heading down to Thomas’s room. “Do you know where?”

“Not exactly, but knowing the boys, it’s probably the ‘super-secret hiding place’ they found last week,” we laughed. “Did you get Thomas yet?”

“Yeah, he’s talking with Alby,” Minho answered, leading us over to the rest of the group. “Now, let’s go before someone sees us on the cameras.” Teresa walked ahead to meet up with the only other person she knew in the group while Minho and I stayed a few steps behind the rest. “Are we going to the place?”

“Yeah,” he responded, wrapping his arm around my shoulder. “We’re gonna show them exactly what they are feeding.”

“Is that so?” Another voice asked, causing us all to stop as another group of WICKD workers came out from behind the corner we were about to cross. “Why don’t we show you what we’re trying to do?”

Without an escape, we all follow the workers, and we are met by a few other people at the elevators. I could only recognize two of them: Dr. Paige and Chancellor Anderson.

“We are going to show you exactly what we are keeping you safe from,” Dr. Paige explained.

“Oh, we finally get to know what happens when someone gets the flare?” Minho exclaimed sarcastically. “I’m shaking in my boots.”

I turned to slap his arm as we got into the elevator and went down. Chancellor Anderson and Dr. Paige just shook their heads in response as we rode down in silence. We just awkwardly looked around at each other. Despite having done this many times, this is the only time we have been caught. Probably because this was the first time we brought Thomas and Teresa with us. Finally, after what felt like forever, we stopped at the last level. Dr. Paige led us out with Alby, Minho and I walking out first while Thomas and Teresa followed behind us with Chancellor Anderson after them.

We walked down a dimly lit hall to a large metal door at the end. Thomas and Teresa were taken another way with Chancellor Anderson doing who knows what. Once we approached the door, Dr. Paige turned to us slowly as one of the workers began opening the door. “This will, hopefully, put into perspective what our mission is, and why we do what we do.”

“Keep your mouth shut, Min, and let’s just get this over with,” I stated, turning to send a glare at Minho before moving to go into the room first. I am immediately met with a large room that looked like a forest. The next thing I noticed was the groans. I looked to the side to see Randall Spilker. He had black veins spreading around his body, blood flowing from his mouth, and the tips of his fingers were gone. “What happened to him?”

“The flare,” Randall answered. “Don’t you understand? This is what they are keeping you safe from. They are trying to keep you safe from people like me. To find a cure.”

“It’s not like we were going to leave,” Alby responds.

“Yeah, we were going to show Thomas and Teresa all the work they’ve been putting into this place,” Minho added. “We saw those huge areas you’ve been building, and wanted to show them what’s been going on.”

“Minho, respectfully, shut up,” I hissed. His big mouth was going to get us into more trouble than we already were.

“All I’m doing is defending us,” He responded.

“And because we want to get our message across, Minho, why don’t I show you around this room first?” Randall offered.

“Is that even safe?” I nearly shouted.

“We would never let the cranks harm any of you,” Dr. Paige said. “However, we will throw you in to understand them.”

Before Alby or I could register what Dr. Paige said, two other workers pulled us back out of the room, leaving Minho with the cranks. Out of the room, down the hallway, and back to the elevator; we were dragged. Once in the lift, the workers pulled out these syringes before plunging them into our necks

I wake with a start, tied down to a hospital bed in my old room. Thomas is next to me, shaking me awake. I groaned before squeezing my eyes closed to block out the white lights of the room. “What the shuck, Tom.” I slowly opened them again to take in the boy in front of me. He looked nothing like earlier. He looked a few years older. “How long was I out?”

“They’ve been keeping you in an induced coma for the past three years,” he explained. “They started sending people to the maze after you got caught. Alby went first, then Newt, Minho, Gally-”

“Hold up, what maze?” I was so confused. I could not register it all at once.

“The groups they separated us in. The gigantic structures in the basement. Those are mazes like the ones we did in class. They want to monitor our brainwaves to see if they can find a cure,” he explained once again.

“How do mazes and puzzles find a cure for a DNA-altering disease? Doesn’t that seem fishy to you?”

“That’s why I woke you up,” he whispered. “They don’t know. They gave me access to all floors and rooms once Teresa and I agreed to help them, and I need backup.”

“What kind of backup?”

“Okay, so I want you to find out exactly what they are doing with the tests,” he explained. “If anyone can figure it out, it’s you. Once you find the results and their intentions, we can get them out. You also need to hide from anyone besides me. Again, I’m the only one that knows you’re awake.”

“Got it.”

It has been a few weeks of me sneaking around the facility, taking notes on every little thing I believe would be helpful to Thomas. I have been writing as much as I could, sliding the pages under his door, and hiding in one of the back closets.

Today, I was going to try and get down to the basement to see the mazes. Looking over the building plans, there was a small passage from the stairs to a platform that looks over one of the mazes. By the looks of it, it should be an easy thing, especially at night.

It was nearing midnight, and I know the majority of the staff is off to bed. I make my way down the never-ending staircases to reach the last floor before turning off towards a door that leads to the passage. The narrow hallway twisted into a spiral staircase. Once I got to the top, I opened the door to see a gigantic enclosed yard.

“Holy crap,” I whispered to myself as I looked at the field. From where I was standing, I could see a few people walking around the perimeter, and in those people, I saw Minho. It was him, Newt, Alby, Ben, and Gally. I had no clue what they were talking about but they were laughing at something, then Alby slapped the back of Minho’s head. I jotted some notes about what the place looked like and what they were doing into the notebook I snagged from one of the supply closets. I hid the book in the back of my shirt and turned to leave, but the sound of the passage door locking.

I took off running down the normal entrance/ exit stairs despite knowing it would be completely open; if I was going to get caught, I needed to make sure Thomas knew what was going on in the mazes. I took off running up the stairs, hearing the pounding of multiple sets of footsteps following behind me. I took a shortcut up to Thomas’ room. I needed to get these to him without the guards noticing.

I turned the corner to his room before throwing the entire notebook under the door and taking off toward the only exit I knew of. As I got to the last door, I opened it using a key card I had stolen from a desk, but when the door opened, I was met by Janson.

“Who woke you up?” He teased me. “Last I checked, you were unconscious.”

“I woke up myself, Ratman,” I laughed in response. “Just you wait until I tell everyone in this facility exactly what you are doing with us. I saw those grievers. You are literally trapping us and not letting us leave! I have seen seven people get killed by those grievers directly, and another ten from getting stung. I will make sure that everyone knows about the cruel punishments you put us through!”

“Maybe, but you’re not going to remember what you saw,” he responded. I was not able to respond before a doctor came up behind me and injected me with something.

I couldn’t tell where I was. I couldn’t see, but I could tell that I was moving. Very fast at that. After my eyes adjusted to the dark area, I could make out that I was in a small room with boxes surrounding me. I went to go over to the crates but fell down as the room came to a sudden stop.

The top of the room opened, and I had to squint my eyes as the bright light evaded the area. Once I was able to see again, I noticed a group of guys huddled around the opening.

“What the shuck?” One said.

“Since when did they send girls here?” Another said.

“Oh great,” A third said with an eye roll, “stick her with Fry. I’m not dealing with her.”

“What is this place?” I asked. “Who are you?”

“You’ll learn with time, greenie,” The second guy said, jumping into the box. “I'm Alby. I run this place. It’s the Glade.”

“What did I miss?” A guy walked, more like limped, over from a building. “Wait, they sent a girl?”

“Yeah, Newt. What does that mean?” The first guy that spoke said.

“I don’t know,” Newt responded. He and the guy he was talking to walked over to the end, and the other jumped in with Alby and me while Newt stayed at the top.

“Minho, take her and show her around,” Alby commanded. Minho went to protest, but Alby stopped him. “Newt would, but his leg is still healing and walking ain’t doing him any good.”

“Fine, let’s go, greenie,” he huffed, climbing out of the box.

“Who are you calling greenie? What is a greenie?” I responded, following him out. “Last I checked my name was (Y/N).”

All of the guys gasped in surprise and started talking among themselves. Alby climbed out as well and pulled Newt into a side conversation while Minho just stared at me like I was crazy.

“You know your name? Already?” He asked, curious as to why the creators would send someone with at least partial memories.

“Yeah, you think I’m dumb?” I snapped.

“No, just no one remembers anything when they get here,” he snapped as well. “And until you can prove that you’re not useless, you’ll just be weak to me.”

It has been a few months in the glade. I have not remembered anything other than my name, but I moved past that in order to prove myself to these boys. The only people in this place that did not question my worth were Alby and Newt even though I have worked my way up to being a builder and occasional runner.

Minho had some weird vendetta against me. He thinks I am out to get him or something stupid like that. It’s almost like he doesn't understand that I am just doing my part.

“Why don’t you let the stronger guys take care of that,” Minho sneered, poking at the fact that I was carrying wood to the area where we would have the bonfire. “Look like you’re struggling there, shank.”

“Minho, respectfully, shut up,” I growled, “Let me do my job in peace. I don’t run into the maze to bug you.”

“Hmmm, yeah you do.”

“Not on days that I’m not allowed,” I snapped. “Even then I’m not near you and Ben. I’m off on my own.”

“Hey, (Y/N), get back to work,” Gally shouted, “Those logs ain’t gonna move themselves.”

I was about to respond when the box sounded that a new shipment was in as well as a new greenie. We all went to crowd around the box, and when it opened, I recognized the person. I could not say from where, but his face looked familiar. He didn’t give anyone a chance to say anything before he jumped out of the box and bolted towards the doors of the maze. Minho and I took after him, but we didn’t need to run for long as the greenie tripped. Once we got him into the slammer, I knew I wanted to talk to Alby about making him a runner.

“That’s a suggestion you need to bring up with Minho,” Alby said. “It’s his section.”

“You know he’d never listen to me,” I started. “Plus, he’d never let a newbie into the maze.”

“Here, we will have a meeting, and we’ll vote on it.”

“No.”

“We already voted, and we need more runners,” I reasoned. “You’re not even running with him. I’m the only one that doesn’t have a partner.”

“Still, I’m the keeper of the runners, so I get the final say, and I said no,” he said with a roll of his eyes. “Just let it go, and leave me alone.”

“I’ll leave you alone when you respect democracy, you slinthead.” I continued following him as we approached the bonfire. Gally was already throwing hands with Ben, Winston and Fry already had Gally’s concoction and Newt was talking with the greenie. “All I’m saying is to give him a chance.”

“Fine, he got one day to prove himself, and I’m not handling him, is that clear?”

“Crystal,” I spat with a tight-lipped smile before turning away from Minho to approach Newt and greenie. However, the greenie was being pulled into the ring by the time I got to them. I looked over to Newt to see him looking nervous. “This is initiation. He’ll be fine.”

“Were you able to talk sense into Minho?”

“Yup, he’s got one day to prove himself,” I stopped, hearing someone hit the dirt. I saw the new guy on the ground, but he did not get up right away. Just as Newt and I were about to react, he jumped up screaming his name.

“Thomas!” He exclaimed. “My name is Thomas!”

“Alright, Thomas,” I paused out of breath. We had just gotten closed into the maze with Minho and Alby. Minho and Alby ran together today since Ben was sung yesterday, but now, Alby was also stung. No one had ever been locked in the maze, and now the four of us had to survive together. “We just killed ourselves.”

“No, I’ve got an idea,” Thomas started.

“Thomas, no,” Minho snapped, propping Alby against the wall. “We are dead. There is no way we can survive the night with the grievers and Alby being stung. We. Are. Dead.”

“No, I have an idea. We could tie Alby to the vines and hang him up,” Thomas explained as he pointed up the wall. “We just need to work together.”

“Thomas, hate to break it to you, but Minho hates both of us,” I responded bluntly. “So while I might help and it might work, there is no way we would ever work together.”

With that, Thomas and I started wrapping the vines around Alby. We worked together to secure the vines and pull to hang him at a safe height. All the while, Minho sat and watched. Just as we finished, the sound of gears and scraping got louder, almost as if it were right around the corner. Once we secured Alby in the air, we took off in different directions instead of sticking together.

I could not tell how long I had been running, but eventually, I found a cliff and a small hiding place. I threw myself into the hole as the griever came around the corner. Thankfully, it did not see me, but another set of footsteps turned around the corner. It was Minho, but the next thing I knew, the griever was on top of him.

I did not really want to help him since he would not do the same if I was in his shoes, but I also could not let him just get stung. Thus, I jumbled out of the hole, grabbed a vine, and whipped it at the griever. “Over here, griever!” I shouted.

Minho had already been stung, but he looked over at me with a glazed look before passing out as the griever walked up to me.

“I clearly did not think this through,” I mumbled to myself as I took off running in the other direction. I, quite literally, ran into Thomas before scrambling to get up, pulling him with me. “Run!”

“What?” He trailed off but followed closely behind once he saw the griever on my tail. We ended up splitting up, me going right, and Thomas going left. I ended up doing a circle which worked out since I was able to get Minho hidden in the hole, so he would not die. He stirred as I dragged his body toward the hiding space, and he started mumbling pieces of a conversation but still not opening his eyes.

“Golden four,” he muttered. I listened curiously as there was a break, but he picked up after a second, almost as if he was having a real conversation. “Split us into groups…Sneaking into the girls’ room every night…I literally eat with you at every meal.”

That last sentence sparked something in my mind, it was like the floodgates opened, and it’s like I could remember most of my life before this maze. I do not remember specifics, but I do remember running around a huge facility with a small group of people. There were three boys, Newt. Alby and Minho, and one girl. We would cause trouble in the cafeteria, roan the halls, and run from guards. That was about as specific as I could get.

Leaving Minho where he was, I took off to find Thomas. Finding him relatively quickly with a griever pinning him down, I grabbed a vine yet again to whip at the machine. This time, instead of it just coming back at me, the vine wrapped itself around the legs of the griever and tripped it. Thomas scrambled from underneath it to stand beside me as the griever began tearing through the vines. It stood menacingly in front of us before, almost like a switch, just turning around, and leaving us without a thought.

“Minho got stung,” I told him as we started walking back to the doors. “I hid him.”

“Why would you do that? Not to be mean or anything, but you guys hate each other," Thomas asked as we dragged Minho out of the hiding spot. “He would’ve just let you did probably.”

“Regardless of our hatred, I am not letting anyone die in this maze. Not on my watch,” I replied seriously as we approached the doors that were just opening. We propped Minho against the wall as we got Alby down. Thomas carried Alby while I dragged Minho closer to the doors as they finished opening, and every glader was standing, waiting for us. I leaned closer to Thomas, whispering, “I’m not a monster.”

~~ It’s been nearly a week since we got out of the maze. Three days since we got out of the glade. Minho and Alby survived, but Gally and Chuck died on our way out. Now, we were all separated, well most of us were. The boys got to stick together, and Teresa and I stuck together. I’ve got a bad feeling about her, but I’m apparently the only one.

Minho, on the other hand, has been avoiding me like the plague. I know he’s asking about me because Thomas and Newt still talk to me, but anytime Minho sees me around them, he turns the other way. I want to know what he remembered, but I know that is something he would never tell me.

One night, I got curious. I wanted to know where the “safe” people were going, so I stole a key card and snuck through the vents to reach the backrooms. I was not expecting to see hundreds of teenagers strung up, hooked up to a multitude of machines. I found a couple of loose guns, so I grabbed those, hoping the guys would bust out with me. If not, oh well, I have a weapon now. I crawled through the vents to reach the boys’ room. I heard them talking quietly, so I waited for a break in the conversation.

“You’re not making any sense,” Newt said. “What do you mean you remember her?”

“When I got stung, I remembered a conversation and we were talking about a merge,” Minho explained. “Like I think we were here for a long time and then the WICKED people put us into the groups. Y’know, Group A and Group B, but she should’ve been in Group B. Why was she in our group?”

“We do not have time to focus on that,” Thomas reasoned. “We need to figure out exactly how you know Y/n and how we get out of here. Seriously, I have a bad feeling.”

“I think we were together,” Minho mumbled. The rest of the guys gasped, and I let out one quietly to myself. None of them heard it as they continued the conversation. “I don’t know what to think.”

“Well, how do you feel?” Newt pressed. “You wouldn’t be so caught up if you didn’t feel something for her.”

“Maybe I do!” Minho exclaimed. “She literally saved my life, but she hates me.”

“Minho, trust me,” Thomas speaks up, “she does not hate you. When she was talking about saving you in the maze, she did not look like she hated you. There’s no way.” It went silent for a while, so I decided to put aside my shock and make an appearance. I knocked on their vent. I could hear them jump before Thomas lifted it. “Oh, what’re you doing here?”

“You won’t believe me, but we need to get out of here. Now,” I pressed. “They’re stringing us up. There is no safe haven. They’re killing us.”

Running through the halls with Ratman chasing me did not bring up the best memories. I remembered waking up after Minho was sent up to the maze, and Thomas recruited me. Not the best time, but I pushed through. At one point, I tripped. I thought I was dead. However, to my shock, someone stopped.

“You’re not dying on me. I won’t let you go now that I remember,” Minho. It was Minho. It’s always been Minho.

~~~ Part 2 ->

~~~~~

#the maze runner #tmr minho x reader #tmr minho #the maze runner x reader #the maze runner minho #the maze runner minho x reader #bad268 #ship268 #thing268

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materassassino · 8 months

Text

Patrimony

From the DinLuke Server prompt of the same word.

Luke reaches the end of his tether, and Ahsoka gets yelled at, as she deserves.

------

Luke feels out of his depth.

Everyone seems to know more than him.

“We didn’t used to do it like that,” Cal says, frowning.

“Oh, Kanan told me it was done this way,” Ezra says, flippant.

“That’s not how the Jedi teach,” Ahsoka says, disapproving.

“I don’t remember anything about that,” Reva says, dismissive.

“I DON’T THINK THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN APPROVED OF,” Gungi says, uncertain.

“Are you sure you want to do it that way?” Ezra asks, wincing, and Luke has had it.

He likes to think he’s left his rashness behind. He’s matured, he’s fully mastered his emotions. But even his patience can’t last forever.

He whips around to Ezra, shoulders set, face a mask of fury.

“You run this karking Order then!” he snarls. “If you’re all so much wiser than I am! Run it yourselves!”

And he storms off, blood hammering in his ears. He’s surprised he only said that, and not something so much worse, which was exactly what he wanted to. He stomps away from the little compound they’ve made, their temporary temple, and out into the streets of Sundari.

His boots pound the pavement as he tries to get as far away as possible, and Mandalorians quickly get out of his way, staring at him as he passes. He doesn’t care. All he can hear in his head is reproach, remonstration, criticism, dismissal. What do you even think you’re doing? the voices in his head demand, jeering at him. You don’t know anything!

Of course he doesn’t know anything, he thinks bitterly. He’s found himself in one of the little parks, a residential area, and he throws himself beneath a tree that still needs time to grow. No one told him anything. His masters were forging a weapon, not a Jedi. He didn’t even know what a Jedi was until he was nineteen! And they had the gall to call him the last, as if there weren’t people out there, people the same as him, who could have guided him from the start. They didn’t even attempt to remake the Order, and now they come here, judging every wrong step he takes without offering to teach him the dance in the first place.

He refuses to meditate, even though that would be the correct, Jedi thing to do. But he doesn’t want to be a Jedi just then. He doesn’t. He wants to drop everything and just run to the farthest corner of the galaxy where no one has even heard of the Force. Sithspit, even Tatooine would be better than this, right now.

What is he even trying to do, anyway? Maybe the Order would be better off dead and buried. What would the galaxy even gain, if he succeeded?

“May I sit?”

Luke hears the silver bells in the Force, their resonant chimes, and he scowls.

“What do you want?” he demands, not even looking up.

Ahsoka, wisely, chooses not to sit, because Luke would simply stand and then march off again.

“To discuss, perhaps,” she says, mild and supercilious and it grates on Luke’s nerves like metal scraping against metal, the hulls of two ships colliding. He surges to his feet, and her height doesn’t intimidate him – frankly, he’s faced taller, and meaner, and uglier.

“What’s to discuss? How I’m destroying everything? Ruining the legacy of the Jedi?!”

“Rage doesn’t—”

“Shut up, Ahsoka!” he snaps, and she does, her mouth clamping shut like he’s cast a spell on her. “You’re the worst of them all! Always needling, always criticising! You waltz in here whenever you want, proclaiming you’re not even a Jedi, and then proceed to tear everything apart because it’s not to your exacting, aloof standards!”

Luke breathes deeply through his nose, and instantly regrets everything he’s said. He pinches the bridge of his nose.

“I’m tired,” he says, fighting to keep his voice steady, “of everything I do being worthless.”

Ahsoka is quiet. “Luke,” she says, and finally there’s some emotion in her voice after it’s been so distant all the time, “it’s not. You’re… you’re trying to do everything on your own. You’re exhausted, you’re barely at home.”

She reaches out, cautious, like he’s a cornered, wounded animal that might bite, and gently her hand settles on his shoulder. Viciously he contemplates shrugging her off, but that just feels petty. He simply glances at her hand, and then at her.

“We know how much this means to you,” she says. “How much is at stake. You’ve done so much and you’ve done it by yourself.”

He scoffs at her.

She frowns. “It’s not just your legacy, Luke. You can’t carry it alone.”

“I’m not trying to!” he says through gritted teeth. “I was never trying to! I need help, not constant belittlement!”

Ahsoka sighs. “I… I think some of us are afraid,” she says. “We’re afraid it might be too distant from what we knew, even if we barely knew anything in the first place.” She removes her hand and sits, cross-legged, rubbing her arms. She looks much younger than she is, in that moment. “The world we knew is gone, and it’s been gone so long, that to see something being born out of its ashes means… letting go of it.” She looks up, tears in the corners of her eyes. “I’m sorry, Luke.”

He takes a deep breath, and for a long moment he stares at the ground beside her, before making a choice. He sits as well.

“It can’t go back to how it was,” Luke says. “I’m trying. I know it’s not the same, but it can’t be the same. Am I qualified? No. But are any of us? You all left me alone to do this by myself, no help, no guidance, no knowledge. I’ve been working off puzzle pieces that don’t even fit together. You say you want to help now, but it doesn’t feel like help. It just feels like resentment.”

Ahsoka’s breath hitches and she shuts her eyes, a look of pain on her face. “I know. The thing is, you’re doing so well. You’ve given us a place to call home again, you’re finding our history, you’re finding us the future as well…” She rubs at her eyes. “We had nothing for decades. We ran and we hid and we died, and then you came along and...” She gestures at everything around them, the rebuilt dome and the cleared streets and the rebuilt houses. “You even made allies out of old enemies. You’ve done so much.”

She looks at him then, biting her lip. “Is… is this because of Anakin?”

Luke scowls at her. “Not everything is to do with Anakin kriffing Skywalker,” he says waspishly.

“No, I meant… do you feel guilt for what he did?” she asks. “Do you feel bound to it because of him? Because of his actions?”

“I…” Luke swallows, and searches inside himself. I am a Jedi, like my father before me. “No,” he admits. “It’s not guilt. It’s not repentance, because I didn’t do it. It’s more… the right thing to do. It’s because the galaxy will be better for it.” He laughs bitterly. “Not that it feels like it.”

“How so?”

“Sometimes I wonder what the point of it is,” he says gloomily, tugging at the grass beneath his fingers. “Maybe the Order should have stayed dead.”

“Have you ever… thought of leaving?” Ahsoka asks, her voice gentle.

Luke blinks.

“You could, you know,” Ahsoka continues. “You have a husband, a son. Grogu doesn’t need to be a Jedi. You could simply be Luke.”

He’d thought about it, on lonely sleepless nights, curled up in bed on Yavin 4, all alone, where the future seemed impenetrable and murky and ultimately futile. But he hadn’t. He gotten up the next day and continued, one foot in front of the other. Although… well, if Grogu hadn’t have come along, perhaps he would have. Loneliness was becoming too familiar a state of being.

Luke shakes his head. “I am a Jedi. That’s what I am. I couldn’t… I couldn’t see the suffering in the galaxy and turn a blind eye to it, just walk away from it all. Not when I can do so much more.”

Ahsoka smiles then, her eyes creasing. “There’s your answer. That’s the point.” She sighs again. “I think we’ve been neglecting that, but we’ve also been neglecting each other. We’ve all been so isolated, it hasn’t done us good.”

“Jedi are pack animals?” Luke suggests, teasing, and Ahsoka chuckles.

It’s quiet, broken by the sound of children playing a street away and the recycled breeze in the leaves above them.

“You’re a good grandmaster, Luke,” Ahsoka says. “Don’t let us tell you otherwise.”

Luke stiffens, head snapping round to stare at her. “What?”

“A good grandmaster,” she repeats.

He shakes his head. “No. No, I’m no grandmaster, I’m far too young for that…”

“Who else is there?” Ahsoka asks. “Me, the coward running away from her own truth? Cal, who ran away from everything else? Reva, who was an Inquisitor?” She sets her hand on his shoulder again, more confidently this time, and Luke welcomes its weight. “You’ve done more than we ever could. You’re the only one it could be.” She makes a face. “And perhaps being old isn’t always the best choice.”

“I’ll take that,” he says, shrugging. “I’m not calling myself that, though. Not yet, anyway.”

Ahsoka nods with a chuckle.

Together they head back to the compound, and all eyes are on them as they walk through the gate. Grogu sprints across the yard and launches himself into Luke’s arms, babbling wildly and accusatorially.

“Well, they didn’t kill each other,” Reva says.

“Are you ok?” Ezra asks, nervous.

Luke sighs. “Yes. But… It’s been feeling like you’re all against me, like you hate everything I do, and that’s been… demoralising.”

“Talking out your feelings like normal people?” Merrin heckles from her seat beneath the porch – she tends to watch, distant and slightly mocking of it all, but fundamentally supportive. “Not very Jedi.”

Cal rolls his eyes as Reva huffs darkly.

“WE DIDN’T MEAN THAT, LUKE,” Gungi says. “IF YOU HADN’T HAVE FOUND US, WE WOULDN’T EVEN BE HERE, TOGETHER AGAIN.”

“We owe you a lot,” Cal admits, folding his arms. “What you’ve done so far, it’s incredible.”

“And we didn’t get this far by doing it by the book,” Ezra says. “We had to adapt to survive.”

Luke rocks Grogu gently, looking down at him pensively. Grogu looks up, curious, and touches his little claws to Luke’s hand.

It’s for him, isn’t it? Everything that he does, ultimately, is for Grogu, and those that will come after him. The legacy isn’t something they’ve been handed from the past, it’s a debt owed to the future. And there is no future without change.

“The past can prepare us,” Luke says, tickling Grogu behind the ear, just to hear him giggle, “but we can’t chart a course back to it. And I can’t do it alone, I need all of you with me.”

“Spoken like a true grandmaster,” Ahsoka murmurs, giving him a gentle pat on the shoulder.

The word doesn’t fit right now, but perhaps it will, in the future.

#star wars #luke skywalker #ahsoka tano #ezra bridger #cal kestis #grogu #very very background #dinluke #pixie writes #new jedi order

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breakfastteatime · 10 months

Text

Today's minific is for the anon who requested 'break'.

The cantina is heaving, cheesy music thumping from an elderly sound system. Cal, BD-1 and Greez find a table at the back near the kitchen, with Cal tucked firmly into the corner seat where he can keep an eye on the comings and goings of everyone without running the risk of crashing into them and picking up the echoes adding an extra layer of noise to this place.

Greez looks at him. “Guess a place like this is a lot for someone like you,” he says.

“I’m fine,” Cal says, taking care to close his mind off to the Force. “It’s not like I’ve never been to a cantina before.” It is, however, the first time he’s been to one since he started repairing his connection to the Force. It’s making his head hurt. “These places are always busy.”

“You can’t tell me there was a single cantina on Bracca as lively as this,” Greez says.

“Depends on your definition of lively,” Cal says.

Greez laughs. “Oh, I’m sure you saw plenty of fights. That’s not what this place is. It’s just a bunch of people cutting loose and having fun.”

Cal sees what Greez is talking about, but under that he senses more. There’s a man at the bar looking to drink himself into oblivion after losing his job, and the bartender watching him knows him from the war but opts not to say anything. A woman slips and slides through the crowd trading credits for Spice. Far worse is the undercurrent of violence brewing under the music and dancing. There’s a group of people on the opposite side of the cantina who came here to get drunk and wreck something – or someone, if it comes to that. That’s more like Bracca, where Cal had kept himself small, quiet, and out of trouble as much as possible.

“Yeah, feels good to see a crowd again, ‘specially after the kinds of places we’ve been lately,” Greez says.

There’s a whistle of agreement from BD, who says it’s not so different from life on Bogano if you pit a bog rat against a splox.

Neither of them is wrong, yet Cal’s not sure why they’ve taken a break from the mission to come here. Maybe it’s because there’s only so long any group of people can stay cooped up in the same ship before someone goes crazy, and Greez has seemed twitchier than usual lately. Also, it’s nice to see another planet, even if it is an Outer Rim world with connections to just about every crime syndicate going. The Empire doesn’t have a presence here, so Cal feels surprisingly free.

Cere arrives with drinks and a tray of bar snacks, most of which are deep-fried. She hands a cheap whiskey to Greez, puts a beer down in front of her seat, and hands Cal something fizzy and sugary. He looks up at her. “Seriously?”

She pushes a basket of fries in his direction. “You’re underage, and there are several enforcers in here.”

“So? There’s a drug dealer here and they’re not stopping her.”

“She’s on the same payroll and you’re not, so you’re not drinking,” Cere replies, sipping her beer. “Not bad. Eat up.” She produces a range of condiment packages from a pocket. “Before I do.”

Grabbing a handful of fries and a spicy dip, Cal stares back at her. “I drank on Bracca.”

Greez nudges him. “You’re not on Bracca anymore, and on my ship, we respect legal drinking ages.”

Cal nudges him back. “We’re not on your ship right now.”

BD beeps his agreement with Cal.

“Oh, hush you,” Greez snaps at BD. “You’re an enabler.” He grabs some fries, puts them on a napkin, and starts covering them in salt. “Cal, you are not drinking. I don’t wanna see you drunk or hungover because that has the potential to be messy.”

“One drink won’t get me drunk,” Cal protests. “My tolerance is better than that.”

“That’s not comforting,” Cere replies around a mouthful of fries. “Anyway, we’re here to take a break. Cal, your pace is admirable, as is your focus and determination, but sometimes you have to pause and reset. This is what we’re doing.”

Cal’s not sure he’s ever paused and reset, or if he did, it was way before he landed on Bracca where pausing and resetting equalled no food and unpaid bills. He sighs and reaches for his drink. “You’re sure?”

“I’m sure,” Cere says. “Have some fries. You’ve earned them.”

Cal follows orders. The fries are good, with that perfect ratio of crunchy outside to soft inside. He pulls more toward him and watches the crowd. He tries not to let the spots of darkness ruin his mood. Greez is right – most people are here to have fun. And while Cal is not about to get up and start dancing (the thought makes him want to melt through the floorboards), he can at least relax and enjoy the fact that, for tonight at least, no one’s actively trying to kill him.

“I definitely want a beer next time,” Cal says. He finishes his soda, punctuating it with a healthy belch.

“Guess we won’t be visiting any cantina’s again ‘til you’re of legal drinking age,” Greez retorts.

Legal drinking age. What a joke, “Greez, I bet I could go up there right now and get served,” Cal says.

Cere stares at him. “Fine.” She hands him a few credits. “I’ll take that bet. Anything to stop your complaining.”

“Oh, c’mon, what kind of bet is that when he’s a you-know-what and he can do weird shit to people’s brains!” Greez protests, barely keeping his voice low enough.

Cal snatches up the credits. “It’s a good bet, and I can’t do any of that.”

Five minutes, and way too many echoes later, Cal returns to their booth, a shotglass in his hand. Greez and Cere both stare at him in total disbelief as BD scans the purple liquid and announces its high alcohol content in a tone suggesting maybe Cal’s taken this bet too far.

“I can’t believe they served you,” Greez mutters. “Cere, this is on you if it backfires.”

“I’m not sure I can let you drink Lum, Cal,” Cere says.

“Says the former flask carrying Lum drinker,” Greez teases.

That’s a story Cal wants to hear later. For now, he takes the shot and ignores Cere and Greez. It burns a little on the way down, and the taste can probably be compared to rust, but he’s had worse on Bracca, between that one time with Prauf’s fire water and all the moonshine Tabbers brewed.

“Unbelievable,” Cere says, leaning back and grinning at him.

Shrugging, Cal reaches for Cere’s leftovers. “So, I get a beer next time too?”

Greez despairs. “Bracca ruined him.”

#fic requests 2023 #star wars jedi: fallen order #jfo minific #jfo headcanon #cal kestis #bd 1 #greez dritus #cere junda

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hedgiwithapen · 9 months

Note

My Adventures With Superman: Sam Lane, and an eight year old Clark Kent.

General Lane holstered the newest prototype he’d been given for the mission, surveying the debris. The ship had been less armed than anticipated. He’d overprepared, but that was always better than underpreparing. The field around him, the farmhouse, the dark ship that had haunted his nightmares, lay in ruins. “Well?” Mandy asked over the com in his ear. “Did you locate the last ship?” “I did,” he said. “This one was smaller. Mostly intact. It must have slipped past the sensors during Zero Day.” “I’ll send backup. How many robots?” “There was one. It’s taken care of.” “Any tech salvageable?” “Some,” he reported, looking back at the …creature…at his feet. “Something else, too. Sleeper agent.” “Pickup’s a minute out. We’ll find out what it knows.”

The new headquarters was nice, a far cry from the tents pitched around cornfields of seven years ago. It was secure, with rooms for gear, for recreation, for combat practice. And rooms for prisoners. Finally, after years, they had one. General Lane stood at perfect attention, his spine rigid, his arms locked, his eyes still, concealing the racing in his brain. It looked human. When he’d followed his scanner leading to one of the Invader ships, he’d expected more of the robots, killing machines made of non-earth-metal, sleek and calculating. What he’d found instead looked like a human, like a child. Seven or eight, the part of his brain that was unhelpfully pointing out how much the invader’s dark hair looked like Lucy’s, how the way it had tucked both arms around its knees looked like Lois, sitting up in bed after a night terror. He told that part of his brain to shut off, stand down, stop. He wasn’t sure it was better than remembering the sight of the battlefield, the fire-furrowed cropland, the scorched bodies. It was easy to keep his voice hard. “When is the invasion?” “I don’t know,” a tiny voice replied. It yelped when the collar sparked red, answering Mandy’s remote. “Who are your people? What are their plans for Earth?” Amanda Waller stepped in. General Lane bit back the advice that one question at a time would be better. It wasn’t only his call. And this wasn’t a human child. He’d follow Mandy’s lead. “I don’t know,” the invader whispered again, his bright blue eyes shining. It was a clever trick. “I want to go home.” “Where is home?” General Lane asked, sharp. “How many of you are there?” It shook its head again. “I don’t know, just me, I--I was home, you took me.” “That wasn’t your home. You came from that ship. Why?” “I don’t know,” it repeated, hugging its knees closer. General Lane forced down the twinge of sympathy. It was probably calculated for just such a reaction, but knowing that didn’t make it easier. It was all too easy to imagine this…thing sitting at a school lunch table with his daughter. “I swear,” the voice crept higher. Waller waggled the remote. The invader stared up at her, cringing backwards as far as chains would allow. “Your people sent you here. When are they coming back?” “I told you, I don’t know. Please, you can ask M--” it cut off, tears flowing again. “I don’t know anything. I don’t remember anything.” “Hm.” Waller looked at the General. “Maybe it’ll feel more cooperative in the morning.” she turned on her heel, trusting him to have her back. Trusting the tech in this cell to prevent any need for him to. General Lane followed. “So, what do you think, Sam?” she asked him as they fell into step down the hall. He sighed, a little heavier. “It can’t be old enough to have been part of the invasion force. Sleeper agent, maybe a decoy. But I don’t… I think it was telling the truth about not knowing.” “You’re probably right,” Mandy sighed right back at him. “But at least we’re not back to square one. When Nemesis Omega comes back, we’ll have a weapon to use against them. Or a hostage. Either works. I’m sending you back out. We need to be sure there’s no more of them waiting.” “Right.” Sam said, swallowing his doubts. “Mandy. You don’t need me to tell you, but… if we want it to be our weapon…” “You’re right. I don’t need you to tell me. This is my side of things, Sam. Let me handle it. Go home. See your girls.” she paused midstep, a rarity, and her voice softened, ever so slightly. “I am sorry. I know civilian casualties are hard for you. But it’ll save so many lives. I hope you can see that.” Sam nodded, though he couldn’t. All he could see was himself, in the farmers’ faces.

#dammit hedgi day 2023 #My Adventures With Superman #Clark Kent #Same Lane #Amanda Waller #fucked up AU!!!#:D

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visualbutterflysworld · 11 months

Text

Trash Magic | Vhackerr

Warning: depression, miscommunication, angst, sweet smut

Reader has been feeling down. Vinnie, who’s never seen this side of her, is afraid she may break up with him or secretly seeing someone else.

Uhhh yeah. This was different. Inspired by Lana’s song !!

37 days. It has been 37 days since Vinnie last saw his girl smile. Genuinely smile, he means. The look on her face is always the same. No sparkle in her eyes. No shine from her body. Just the same ol dead pan looked. The quick answers. The distance.

At first, Vinnie simply thought she started her monthly but even after a day or two she’ll go back to her bouncy self. The ambivert girl he’s grown to know and love has simply disappeared. Maybe it’s him? Did he do something wrong? Maybe, she was sick of him. In Vinnie’s eyes that’s how it seemed.

Little did he know that his girl was suffering from depression. Her antidepressants-that she kept hidden from him- weren’t working. Life was starting to feel like a chore again. Of course, she could’ve talked to Vinnie but she didn’t. She didn’t want him to see her like this. It didn’t help with the media shipping him with another girl. Another girl that wasn’t of color. She was pretty, Y/n would not lie but she also couldn’t help feeling doubtful.

Vinnie was just gonna leave her right? She was better. It was always someone else. Vinnie was just gonna push her away. That’s what Y/n thought. Some people could be so cruel about their relationship. Y/n had learn a long time ago that she shouldn’t care what people thought but, on days like these, she couldn’t help herself.

She’s prettier than you!

She’s better than you!

Vinnie and her would make such a better couple!

You’re just in the way!

Those were thoughts she simply couldn’t ignore. It didn’t help with the other thoughts that were way worse. Y/n sat on the cold floor as she looked at her phone. The comments on Vinnie’s last post were of them shipping Vinnie and the girl. What made Y/n come out of her thoughts was a knock at the door.

“Y/n. We really need to talk.” Vinnie’s said. Here it was. The moment he was gonna dump her. It was too much. It felt like too much. “Y/n?” Vinnie asked again and that’s when the water works began. Y/n curled up into a ball and laid on her side. The door quickly opened and she felt a breeze as Vinnie walked over to her.

“Hey, hey. It’s okay. It’s okay.” Vinnie pulled Y/n into his arms. She clutched onto his shirt and hid her face as she continue to cry. Vinnie pushed himself against the wall and massaged Y/n hair. “Shh. Baby, it’s okay.” Vinnie whispered. “Please, Vinnie! Please, don’t leave me! Please!” She screamed. Vinnie’s eyes widen. What was she talking about?

“Vinnie, I’m sorry! Please, don’t leave me!” She cried harder. “Baby. Y/n, darling, what are you talking about? I’m right here. What’s wrong.” Vinnie asked. “You’re gonna leave me! You came in here to break up with me! I’m so sorry. Please don’t go!” She wrapped her arms around his neck. Holding onto him tight. Vinnie couldn’t help but to feel his heart crack.

Why on earth would he leave her? Where would she get these ideas from. Vinnie rubbed her back in small circles as he tried to calm her down. Vinnie scanned the room to notice a medicine bottle on the sink counter. Squinting his eyes he saw the words. He let out a breath as he realized she must be having a episode.

As he got her to focus on her breathing and calm down a bit. Just enough to have her sniffling he finally spoke. “Y/n, I’m not breaking up with you. I thought you were leaving me. I would never do anything to hurt you. You know this. Do you want to talk about what’s been bothering you, now?” Vinnie asked as Y/n slowly leaned away. “My…my antidepressants haven’t been working lately and everyone is saying how you’d look better with someone else. I guess, I started to believe them.”

Vinnie smiled softly before putting his hands on her face. Squishing her cheeks together. “Babydoll, I don’t want to be with anyone else besides you. I..you’re simply my everything. It’s my job to make sure you’re happy. You can’t hide these things from me, okay? You have to tell me when you’re feeling down.” Y/n smiled as her face made a silly look. Vinnie softly laughing before pecking her in the lips.

“Okay?” He asked again. “Okay. Pinky promise.” Y/n said. Vinnie smiled again and kissed her. This time was a full on snog. She could feel the love he had for her. The passion he had. The hunger. He pulled her closer. He had to tell her how he felt. This was one of the ways he could.

Y/n gasped as she felt herself be picked up. Vinnie using this opportunity to slip his tongue in. It wasn’t long until they were on his bed. Y/n completely undressed and him still in his boxers. He kissed her neck and down to her chest. “So pretty.” He whispered but loud enough to make her thighs clutch. Tugging on her nipple for a second before doing the same to the other.

He slowly parted her legs and smoothly slipped a in finger into her. Her back arching as she felt him stretch her out. Going slowly at first but faster when she closed her mouth from the silent moans. “So fucking tight.” He looked down to see where his finger was going in and out at a fast pace. “Vinnie.” She moaned before grabbing the sheets under her.

Vinnie slowed down and soon his face was right in front of her sex. “So fucking pretty too. Such a pretty cunt. Made just for me.” Vinnie growled before he flattened his tongue against her clit. Y/n jolted from the action. Trying to back away but Vinnie held her down by her hips. His tongue entering her. Eating her as if she was his last meal.

The moans he got from her were sent from heaven. He had found that spot that makes her buck in a few short seconds. It wasn’t long until she was coming. Cries and pleases came as he helped her with her high. Lapping up every drop. He brought his head up with a smile as he saw her warn out, just by his tongue. Her breathing was fast but was slowly going back to it’s normal speed. “You taste fucking amazing.” He praised as he rubbed her swollen clit.

Vinnie knew how much she liked being praised. He didn’t have to be inside her to know her walls clutched. Vinnie kissing back up to her face. Leaving love bites and hickeys here and there. He quickly grabbed a condom and placed it on his aching dick. Slamming into her without warning. “Fuck, Vinnie!” Y/n moaned her back aching. He put his arm under her back pulling her closer to me. “That’s it baby. Give into me. You’re the only girl I want.” Vinnie grunted as he pulled out, so far only his tip was in.

Her arms going around his neck and slowly slipping down to his back. Scratching at the pleasure he gave. “God, baby.” Y/n screamed. He was going fast but it felt so slow. Like the world had stop for them and them only. “I love you, baby. So fucking much.” Vinnie groaned as he placed a hand on the headboard. That was it. The world had stop.

Vinnie had said the three magic words. The words that Y/n needed to hear. She didn’t realize she had started crying again. “I love you too, Vinnie! I love you more than anything.” And at the same time. They both released. In pure ecstasy. The words that had been dying to roll out for them both.

All they needed was to hear the other say ‘I love you’.

#vincent hacker #vinnie hacker #bwwm couples #bwwmromance #oneshot #vhackerr #vinnie hacker smut #love #angst

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byghostface · 4 months

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Look I dunno what this Daminika shipping drama is all about. (I followed you because I like your Rayllum art).

but it's not a cool thing to do to share stuff calling Jon Kent/ Damian Wayne ship "pedophilic yaoi". sounds homophobic.

We should only call the actual crime of pedophilia that and not use the word like a petty insult. Also all this rage gave me the impression that Jon/Damian was like a super twisted ship or something but I googled it and they are 17 and 13 y.o. which would be weird irl yes but that's still literally not pedophilia. they are both teens and people draw them looking the same age in fan art anyway.

If you are not in the dc fandom then maybe don't speak on something you think you know.

But it's not a cool thing to do to share stuff calling Jon Kent/ Damian Wayne ship "pedophilic yaoi". sounds homophobic.

Damian and Jon always have 3 years age gap, even before dc age up Jon, they are like 13 and 10, And after age up(Jon is stuck in space had lived through years and is back on earth) they are now 14 and 17. In most of the fan art, you see people who draw them looking the same age pre-age up, because Damian is really short at 13. And people started to ship them when Jon is 10 year old child. You don't date a child when you're a teen, or date a 14 year old teen and being a college student, that is weird.

In the current comic Jon Kent has a boyfriend-Jay Nakamura(Gossamer) whom he met in college and still happily dating.( then there are racist thing ppl would said about Jay on twitter just bc he is a Japanese character and the other shipper use that to attack him too bc they doesn't like Jayjon as a ship )

-[Action Comics v1 1059 (2024)]-Artist: Marguerite Sauvage-

As an asexual, I mostly headcanon Nika and Damian as nonbinary and asexual. And a lot of the ppl who like Daminika see them as trans for trans too.

You said you followed me for my rayllum art. So you don’t know what the characters I’m talking about, have been drawing about in dc fandom. In my previous vent post is referring to the weird age gap ship, and the maturity of different ages and mentalities when characters are being ship together. And that ship's shippers + incest proshippers are being misogyny towards Nika relentlessly. It's not about against mlm ship, or being homophobic like you claimed.

Maybe you are young and see the fanart and can't think clearly what the issue is. That I can understand, because a few years ago(when I was young and dumb!! and didn't/unable to use my brain to think clearly!!!) I used to think the weird age gap was nothing but now I'm looking back and regret the weird ship I used to ship and draw (Toph and Sokka), I don't ship them anymore + Suki x Sokka superior!!

I have deleted some of Toph and Sokka art and the remaining ones have changed titles and tags to platonic sense. I didn't delete them all because they are still part of my (dumb and reckless!!!) art journey and the things that I'm now getting over and will not ever draw as a ship again.

Which would be weird irl yes but that's still literally not pedophilia.

You admit that would be weird irl and yet tired to dismiss me when I express my uncomfortableness and wanting those ppl to leave the characters(Nika & Respawn) I care about alone. If you are the type of proshipper that says fictional doesn't affect reality… then stop talking to me + invalid opinions‼️ (don't affect reality?? Of course it is! You are a person in reality who argues with me about fiction and conception/representation that affect all of us)

Like I said in my vent post, I never want to interact with them and I don't go into their page or cross ship tags and comments on things or anything related to their ships before. And this is the first time I have spoken up and tried to defend Nika here on Tumblr. Because I'm the only one constantly making contents about her and love her as a character and the only person here on Tumblr who wants to talk about/express my love for her through my art for nearly three years.

And I can't speak up when they want to tools Nika and Respawn for their own ships and set them up as toxic made up characters in their head?!? And I should let that kind of blunt lies disguise as "playful! fun even!!" fanon and let it slip and damage Nika and Respawn's character!?!?? And let that MISOGYNY energy towards Nika fly into fanfic further misconception both of their character and personalities?!??? Similar things that had happened to Talia being constantly demonized through racism and misogyny by fanon?!?!?? A reappear theme by shipper/yaoi incest proshipper tools her as a bad Asian mom to make a sad and twisted background for Damian to need to be protected by the characters they ship him with?!??

Not all of the shippers/fic writers do this but still, I'm meant by the misconception fanons that spin out of control… then SOMETIMES THE ACTUAL COMICS WRITES(different ones/weird ones) WOULD MAKE IT CANON AND DAMAGE THE CHARACTERS‼️IT HAS HAPPENED BEFORE‼️‼️

I know the shippers and the fandom will always be there because of the internet. And I can't control it, so I set up boundaries now by speaking up and defend my favorite characters while I still can.

You can comment under this post if you still disagree with me(unless you're a proshipper then stop interacting with me‼️), and don't hide behind anonymity before you understand what I'm talking about and don't twist my words for your own comfort.

(Again, sorry if you are not in the dc fandom and catching strays of my discomfort and anger. But I love Nika too much so I had to speak in my page)

#flatline #nika #flatline dc #nika dc #respawn #respawn dc #robin 2021 #dc comics #sorry about another one vent post #sorry for not being a happy person and not posting art #how dare I speak right?#how dare I express my discomfort and set boundaries #about my favorite characters #and female characters #ask #vent post

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kyberblade · 2 years

Text

Everything (Din x Reader) - Back To You Drabble

A/N: This is for Dincember 2022 days 3-5, Gloves, Fire, and Cold. It’s set in the Back To You universe, where? I have no idea…. (Is kinda a continuation of the first one.) I know I promised vambrace shenanigans, and we kinda get them, but this morphed.

I do not own Star Wars or it’s characters. Sadly. But I carry them in my heart. Does that count for something? My soul says yes.

Warnings: Tooth rotting fluff, Din is once again a warning in and of himself in this one. Maybe like one or two light swear words? Space swearing. Brief mentions of an injury. (A small bruise.)

Word count: 1,867

Series Masterlist

Xxx

You sat in your seat in the cockpit, watching the stars crawl lazily past as Din shouted expletives from the deck below.

“Dank farrik!”

You let out a sigh, rolling your head where it rested against the headrest to look over at the kid in his seat next to you.

“Patu?” He babbled, tilting his head just slightly at you before turning to the wide open doors leading to the lower level.

“Don’t worry, kid. Your father is just having a bad day.”

“Kriffing hell, son of a mud scuffer….” Something clanged a few times, followed by a muffled thud, then the sound of a tool hitting the floor of the Crest with a metallic bang. “Dank farrik!” He hissed again.

“Eh?” The child squeaked, looking down the hatch toward the commotion, leaning one hand on the back of his chair, the other gripping his ball tight.

“Din?”

“What?” He bellowed, grumbling something under his breath as the sounds of the tool resumed.

“If the kid repeats any of that as his first words, I just may murder you.” The clanging stopped, making you smirk. “Fair warning.” When all you heard in response was a heavy sigh, you settled back further into your seat, your arms crossed over your chest adjusting slightly before you settled. “Want me to check under the console again?”

Silence, and then a quiet, “….no.”

You snorted in amusement. “It’s no trouble. While you work on the hyperdrive down there, I’ll make sure the switch didn’t just flip a breaker again-”

“It’s not a breaker!” He boomed, his tone dripping with frustration, and you just rolled your eyes.

“It was last week,” you mumbled. Then, a little louder, “Want some help down there?”

“No,” his quick answer came, the banging resuming before another muffled thud was heard. “Dank farrik!” He growled.

You looked at the kid as he looked over at you. “Stay here, ad’ika.” Rising to your feet, you reached out and bopped his nose with the tip of your index finger. “I’m sure he’s fine. I’m just going to help.”

Shooting the child a wink as you descended the ladder and he babbled at you, you quickly dropped the last few rungs, landing with a thud. Turning, you found Din sitting with his back against the wall of the Crest cradling his hand. Beside him was an open panel, a mess of wires and circuitry hanging out like the ship had been mortally wounded.

Lowering onto your haunches when you got in front of him, you held out your hands toward him. “Let me see.” You kept your voice low and calm.

“No.”

“Din….” You warned, gesturing again with your hands, raising an eyebrow for good measure.

“I’m fine,” he grit out through clenched teeth.

“Sure. All people who are fine cradle their hand like they’re injured,” you huffed, rolling your eyes before you rolled onto the balls of your feet to try and grab his hand and inspect it.

He pulled away from you. “Stop it.” He sounded annoyed, but you didn’t care.

“Din Djarin, give me your hand, you’re being worse than the child when we tell him to spit out a frog.”

“I-”

Pulling his hand to you with the Force instead of listening to another excuse, you quickly inspected it for blood or immediate problems, but didn’t see anything.

He stumbled over a few words, not settling on any one complaint before he just let out a groan, his head thumping back against the panel behind him as he gave up and let you get a closer look.

“Can I take this off?” You looked up into his visor, lightly tracing your fingers over the fastener of his glove.

“If I say no, will you listen?”

You tilted your head at him and grinned. “What do you think?”

With another groan he slouched further down the wall, freely extending his arm toward you the rest of the way and nodding his consent. He let out a sharp hiss as you tugged on the fingers to get the tight leather off.

You sucked air in through your teeth, grimacing at the bruise already forming along the back of his hand. “What did you hit it with?”

“That one,” he pointed with his other hand at a lone tool sitting next to the open panel.

Standing up, you released his hand and took the single step between you and the tool before you picked it up to examine it before putting it in the chest with the others. Continuing on toward the fresher, you grabbed the med kit off the wall before going back to sit beside him, making him scoot over so you could sit on the same side as his damaged hand.

Opening the kit, you grabbed a bacta cream and a wrap and got to work. “You’re lucky it’s not broken.”

“I’ve had worse,” he grumbled, hissing in pain when you cinched the wrap a bit too tight.

Apologizing, you adjusted it, keeping your eyes on his hand as you continued. “Why are you so desperate to fix the hyperdrive right here and now? We could turn around and be at Peli’s in a few days, she could fix it easy.”

“That would set us too far behind. I need to get you to….”

You looked up into his visor. “What?”

“Nothing. It’s nothing. Forget I said it.” His words were hurried and tried to appear nonchalant, but they were heavily affected.

“No, Din. What is it?” You set his hand down in your lap, bandage halfway done.

He spoke so quietly, you almost didn’t hear him. “I was taking you to a forest planet. It’s the other half of the surprise, first the snow, then somewhere green like you’ve been going on about.” He had been staring at his lap while he spoke, but now he looked up to meet your gaze, and it made your breath catch in your throat. “But then the hyperdrive broke. And we only have enough fuel to either go get it fixed with Peli, or try and fix it now and then go where I planned.”

“Din,” you started, voice just as quiet as his, “I appreciate you thinking of that, I really do. I love that you heard my griping and understood something I didn’t even really know I wanted myself.” You lifted a hand to cradle the side of his helmet. “But you don’t have to do that. It costs so many credits, and time, and it’s risky, and-”

“And it’s completely worth it,” he cut in, finishing the statement for himself. “You’re completely worth it.”

All you could do was blink at him, your hand cradling his helmet came quickly back to your lap to grip his hand on instinct, making him yelp in pain. “I’m so sorry,” you rushed out, immediately releasing his hand, finishing off the wrap.

He shook his head, bringing the hand up to cradle your face before his fingers slipped around the back of your neck and into the hair at the nape of your neck before he pushed your forehead to his softly. “Don’t be,” he mumbled, sliding the hand more firmly around the back of your neck. “Totally worth it, if you ask me.”

You chuckled. “Well, I know when I’m beat. How can I help fix this floating hunk of metal so we can go see trees?”

Xxx

It took a few more hours and lots of newly learned expletives between the two of you before the hyperdrive finally worked again.

It had ended up being something at the source, like Din had said, but also something under the console, like you had said. He conveniently ignored that last part, though.

You’d touched down on the green orb in the middle of its night cycle, a sky blanketed in stars overhead drawing your gaze as soon as you stepped down the ramp. Shadows of towering trees filled the skyline everywhere you looked, silent giants in the dim lights of the Crest.

“We’ll go exploring tomorrow.” Din came up behind you, the kid in his arm, staring up at the stars just like you. “For now, let’s make a fire and eat something warm for a change.”

Your eyes flew to his visor. “Trees and warm food? You spoil me.”

Din chuckled, setting the child down. “I try.”

You began to shiver as the cool night air sunk in. You were dressed for the controlled climate of the ship, not a cool late summer evening on a planet you didn’t even know the name of. And you didn’t really care what it was called. Just that it was green. And it had your two favorite beings currently busy making a camp a few feet away.

“Care to do the honors?”

You turned to the modulated voice, finding him pointing at the waiting fire pit, and you grinned. “Don’t mind if I do.”

Holding your arm up to initiate the flamethrower in your vambrace as you walked to the edge of the ring, you pointed down once your toes met the rocks lining the outside, blasting a stream of fire to ignite the branches Din had collected.

Grinning down at your handiwork as it crackled, you looked up into his visor and found it already tilted fondly on you.

After eating and poking the fire back to something warmer a few times, the child fell asleep against your leg where he sat between them, his soft little snores puffing against your calf. You were lost in thought, staring down at him with a soft smile when a blanket came around your shoulders, the one you kept in the cockpit.

Looking up over your shoulder at Din, you smiled. “Thank you,” you whispered.

“Didn’t want you to get cold,” Din said offhandedly as he came to sit across the fire from you. The flames danced across his beskar, reflecting in magnificent shades that almost made you lose your focus.

You smiled. “I wasn’t just talking about the blanket.” He looked up, visor holding your gaze across the flames. “For everything.” Your eyes fell to his signet for a moment before rising back to his visor. “I don’t think I’ve ever had someone care about me enough to put as much effort in as you have.” You cleared your throat. “As you do.”

He gave a gentle shrug, the T of his visor falling to look at the fire. “You do the same for me and the kid every day. It almost doesn’t seem like enough to pay you back.”

“You know you don’t have to pay me anything.” You leaned forward slightly, trying to catch his gaze again.

“Maybe not. But we owe you everything.” His head lifted back up to meet your eyes, and an emotion you couldn’t quite define caught in your chest.

Smiling, you swallowed around the lump in your throat of all the things left unsaid. “Let’s just settle on ‘thank you’ for now, then.” Your smile grew. “Thank you, Din. For everything.”

“Thank you, mesh’la.” He looked down for just a moment before he lifted his visor back up to you. “For all of it.”

Xxx

Tags: @ren-ni, @hoodedbirdie, @rennalouise, @kurlyfrasier, @what-the-heckin-heck, @deceiverofgodss, @Littleshadow17, @nghtwngs, @yourcoolauntie, @queenmalhinewahine, @lam-ila, @jesseeka, @come-hell-or-eldren-fire, @creativeautistic, @lemonsandraspberries, @heyitsaloy, @987coley, @marvel-sw-lover, @just-shut-up-kid, @1800-get-alife, @multifandomsw, @oliviajdjarin, @eeopxlt, @tomskookie, @venusacrossthestars, @sanscas, @veralii, @a-rose-of-amber, @i-own-loki, @lil-writer-523, @starry-supernova, @qweenrogerina, @darkenwolfie, @mischiefnevermanaged94, @tragerlover, @pxl8ed, @peonyophelia, @fullmoonshadowwrites, @Itsavicf, @professionalfangrrl, @immortalbloodhuntress, @scentedthingtidalwave, @reiya-djarin, @canvasandclay333, @fordo-kixed-rex, @jxvipike, @anidiotwhoreads, @sgt-morgan What’s This?

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rorygilmoreclown · 1 year

Text

The Window

A window

Kaz Brekker x Reader

Prompt: I can’t stop imagining him with a reader or oc that’s just absolutely fucking insane and feeding off this shit. Like during this whole scene she’s going feral or giggly or something. And all the other crows are so used to her being crazy and Jesper is like: “Don’t mind her gentlemen, she’s just missing a few screws… okay maybe all of them.”

Note: A little note for everyone, I don’t mean to disrespect the bond Inej and Kaz have, I myself am a huge worshipper of Kanej. Just for the plot sake of this fic, the contents have some comments which might make you feel like I’m anti Kanej, but I’m not. Thankyou.

Wordcount: 2.1k

Inej climbed the walls to the topmost window since she knew that you and Kaz would most likely be scheming there. She stood outside the window, undetected to anyone who would be glancing at the window from the inside, a habit of the beloved spy she had become for the crows. Afterall, she was the eyes and the ears for the Dregs, how could she not know every single detail being planned. A part of her also knew that it was due to the curiosity about how the two most insane people in Ketterdam could find a longing devotion towards each other, and also a bet she’d entered against Jesper.

If anything happens tonight, if every plan goes awry, run away from this mess and . Inej almost thought that the later half of the sentence would be asking you to stay away from Pekka Rollins, but yet again, she had underestimated the bond that Dirtyhands and his beloved assassin, you, shared. And ensure that you torture Pekka Rollins and destroy him. Even if I’m not with you, although I suppose that my absence would inevitably send you down that path.

You knew Inej was listening through the window, and you wouldn’t really blame her for doing that. You laughed. Brick by Brick will turn into fragment by fragment until it’s all dust Kaz, I can assure you that. You said as you strolled away from the table and towards the window. Your feet make no sound, as if you were swimming under the water. And besides, nothing can go wrong when it’s our planning being turned into a play.

Inej was baffled. She thought that a sane partner would have probably asked you to escape and lead a different life, but nothing about this was normal. Afterall, this was Kaz Brekker. Our play has the most perfect dolls. Even the ones who try to spy on us. You leaned through the window and smirked a little at Inej, as if you had won some game. Inej knew that it was her cue to enter the room.

Kaz just ignored the slight irritation he felt by the interruption. I hope that all the preparations have been made. You could hear the need for only an affirmative response. Wylan's brought the compound. Jesper's helping load it in. Yes, it is all in place, boss. Your eyes secretly met her and in an unsaid medium of communication, she conveyed to you that the arrangements asked to be made by you as a backup plan had also been made. Kaz didn’t miss that, but trusted you enough to know that it isn’t something adverse.

After a rehearsal of the plan, everyone went on their own routes. You went with Inej to the fifth harbour. Both of you fit perfectly hidden within the shadows and the ropes of the ships. You got started with your job instantly, Inej jumping off to cover the lower deck as you breezed through the upper one. Your feet light, using a trick you stole from a previous circumstantial acquaintance with whom you had been trained, Dunyasha.

Shortly after Inej gave you the signal to leave without her. Knowing and trusting her skills and intentions, you left the harbour. Before you’d go and watch the final act, you made a pit stop at the menagerie as well. Choosing to leave them a little present of freedom by contaminating their work environment. Good, you thought, they won't be able to start the work for weeks now.

Finally arriving at the club, you notice Nina dragging a willingly being dragged Kaz. It was fun to watch them from a distance. You slipped in without anyone noticing and sat down at the little front bar, waving cheerfully at Nina. You saw that Kaz was still on the ground. As angry as you were with Pekka Rollins, it was adorable of him to even think that he could harm Kaz. You watched as Pekka threw a kick onto Kaz ribs and as he kneeled in pain. I have to say, this isn’t how I had imagined Kaz Brekker to be kneeling but this works too. All heads turned towards you, and the guns of the Dime Lions with them. Leave her, she won't interfere with my artsy process of destroying this bastard. Rollins almost warned the members.

You knew Kaz was confused as well. The plan was that you would stay on the window sill which was high above and only interfere or indicate your presence if and when needed or signalled. What are you doing here? Kaz’s tone was threatening as well as disappointed at the same time.

Your heartrender isn't the only one who knows how to double cross you Brekker. Rollins said as he let himself smile, thinking that it was the end for the bastard. You knew Kaz would connect the dots and know that you were on his side. Now where were we? You saw Kaz being beaten up, each strike encouraging the raging urge to reduce Pekka to nothing. But you had to maintain your front. After a while of this, the sweet and loud sound of the siren fell on everyone’s ears, followed by Edyck, a dime lion, who had come to inform the pleasant news of your plan succeeding.

You went forward without anyone noticing and helped Kaz stand upright. Slowly retreating as Kaz put the final act into place. There will be outbreaks at all of your establishments. And only yours. The path of contagion will be clear. A ship in your harbour spread the disease to your clubs. You saw the colour being drained from Rollins’ face, yet trying to maintain a facade for the sake of any change of revenge or escape from this situation. What did you do, boy?

Oh why give him all the credit Rollins. I know a certain someone who might have helped. You spoke as you took a sip of the cold concoction you had forced the bartender to summon. Now, the guns were turned towards you as well. I’ll have my own revenge on you later, you foolish girl.

And that was enough for Kaz to put his next pawn into place, now completely knowing that Rollins deserved it. You laughed out loud, startling the bartender as well as the people who had their guns aimed at you. There's nothing an island nation fears more than disease. The Merchant Council's going to want a proper investigation. Kaz explained to Pekka, who was busy loading bullets. You knew one of them would be aimed at you too.

Hmm. You got my attention. But you're not worth the time it'll take to put a bullet in your head. You saw Jesper enter silently as Pekka spoke. He took a seat next to you. You passed him a glass as he scoffed. You knew that it was aimed at your antics. Fifth Harbor is shut down. You got up from your seat. Kaz interrupted, breaking your chance of giving Pekka a monologue, Your businesses are tainted.

My businesses will be fine. But you- Pekka said. You gave him a scoff as you spoke up, And you were calling me insane when you’re the one that is living in denial. Ignoring the gun he had shoved in Kaz’s face. I'd reconsider. If you want to see your Kaelish prince again. Pekka knew exactly who Kaz was talking about. Afterall, Rollins was the one who had assigned the job of keeping the little boy safe, to you. Big mistake. Yet, he didn’t want to give anything away. Oh. What are you gonna do? You gonna blow it up again? You need to learn some new tricks.

Your other Kaelish prince. You continued the next part for Kaz. Fond of sweets. Blond hair.

Alby. You raised the glass you had in your hand and offered it to Kaz. If the devil could smile, that’s where Kaz Brekker learned it from. He gave you a crooked smile, taking the glass from you and gulping it down. I have to say Brekker, blood on your face and smirk on your lips suits you. You winked at him. If this wasn’t enough for Pekka to be furious, you didn’t know what was. I will kill everything you love, Brekker. Pekka moved the gun and aimed it at you now. I will kill your little assassin, and bury her right under the remains of your previous Crow Club. You saw how Kaz clenched his fist, controlling himself to not just put a bullet in Pekka’s head right then and there. Despite the circumstances, you found this little action sweet.

A loud giggle escaped your lips. Gaining extremely confused glances by all the members. Jesper spoke out from the corner, ignoring the implication of a kid being kidnapped by Kaz and you, trying to laugh his doubt away. Mentally, he was kneeling on his knees and praying to whatever God he could remember Inej prayed to. Don’t mind her gentlemen, she’s just missing a few screws.

That’s the difference Pekka, between us and you, you know that he is your weakness, we know that we are each other's strength. Go ahead, kill one of us. Go ahead, taint your carpet with the blood of Crows. But remember, that Crows remember who have wronged them and done them right. The minute you harm us, you will never even get to hear the harsh piano your stupid kid plays. Kaz spoke, he had a teasing tone to his entire threat.

Kaz, the darling love of my life, that’s the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me. You saw Nina shake her head in disapproval and disbelief. What did you do? You could hear the fear in his voice. I buried him. Six feet deep. Kaz paused after every word. Giving Rollins some time to digest the news. He went into that box so easily. Didn't even cry, until I took this from him. You finished for Kaz. You showed Pekka the little wooden lion which you had stolen way back when you were on the job to protect Alby.

Where's my son?

The whole thing ended about an hour ago. You were sitting on the windowsill of Kaz’s office. Kaz opted to settle the rest of the things with Per Haskel at the dregs club, before coming and resting. He entered the room, looking exhausted.

Didn’t sleep yet? Kaz inquired. Normally, you would have gone to your room and slept. But not today. You finally had found a moment alone with Kaz, the two of you leaning against the window. The adrenaline of the confrontation as well as the proximity coursed through your veins, but there was also a sense of closeness, of unity.

"You were brilliant, Kaz," you murmured, the note of admiration evident in your voice. "I don't know how you keep coming up with these strategies." Kaz's lips curled into a small smile, his gloved hand reaching out to intertwine his fingers with yours. You knew that he was resisting a lot.

He could sense your hesitance, he knew the reason behind it as well. It had taken him years to be able to just be comfortable being so close to you. But he knew he wanted all of that, to feel your touch, to be so close to you.

I have good inspiration, he replied softly. A team that I trust implicitly and a maniac who supports all my decisions. All this soft talk was always reserved for you and the room. When I’d first told you about the Alby, had you thought that it was a bluff or an actual plan.

Kaz, don’t be stupid, I know when you are bluffing. It’s a very obvious tell.

It wasn’t any obvious tell. You just knew Kaz, so you got lucky with this guess.

Don't worry, you laughed at his bewildered look, you still look hot while lying. The night went on. Despite being so tired, neither of you could sleep. So the night was spent on the window, planning every single heist possible, making plans to take down the rest of the city. This was definitely proving to be the best date like day ever.

—---

A/n: A little bonus for you guys. For being so late.

Kaz: I have a very important question to ask you guys.

Jesper: We know. You have never assembled a meeting consisting of all of us if you didn’t have any serious reasons.

Kaz: Do I have a tell when I lie.

Inej: As far as I can tell, and I say this on behalf of everyone, we wouldn’t know.

Kaz: (disappointed)

Kaz: Okay, that’s okay. Do I ever look hot? Because apparently that's when I express my tell.

Insert bewildered crows.

-----

Taglist: @neonlight2

#six of crows #grishaverse #shadow and bone #kaz brekker #kaz x reader #kazzle dazzle #soc #six of crows kaz #six of crows x reader #kaz x y/n #inej ghafa #kaz x you

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apricia · 2 years

Text

For ever by your side / Aemond Targaryen x reader // Part IV

Chapter 4 - Parents’ concerns

Alyssa stood on one of the observation decks, staring down at the ship that had brought her to Driftmark. The ship that would now sail back to King's Landing. Without her on board. It felt like a part of her was going to sail away with this ship and she would lose that part forever. Her heart hurt. It hurt to see her family go - or the people she had considered family.

Alyssa couldn't meet Alicent's eyes. Nor Helaenas. Even though her cousin didn't seem to understand why Alyssa wasn't returning home with them. Helaena had not been herself last night and this morning. She had said goodbye to Alyssa as if they would see each other again very soon. But that was a lie. Alyssa had no intention to return to King’s Landing.

Then a roar sounded above her. Alyssa looked up and saw two dragons. Dreamfyre and Sunfyre. There was another roar, mightier and louder than the first, and then she spotted Vhagar. Alyssa stared at the giant dragon. On his back sat the person Alyssa had fled from. The person she never wanted to see again.

In her heart, Alyssa had hoped that Aemond would come to her. That he would come to her and apologize. That he would protest that none of his words were meant seriously. That he was sorry and asked her forgiveness. But he hadn't come. He hadn't said goodbye to her. Didn't even looked at her.

Because you don't talk to ordinary whores, at least not when you're a prince of the realm, an ugly little voice whispered in Alyssa's head.

Alyssa took her eyes off Vhagar and instead stared at her shaking hands. The fresh scars stood out clearly against her skin. They were marks she would carry forever. Just as Aemond would now carry his scar forever. They both had wounds on their bodies open for all to see.

"Did he do this to you?"

A voice came from behind Alyssa and she turned around, startled.

Daemon Targaryen leaned against the wall in front of her. Arms crossed in front of his chest. He looked bored out to sea, staring after the three dragons.

"What?" Alyssa asked confused. She had not thought that he would address the word to her, yet coming to find her.

She'd already known last night that Daemon had only allowed her to go to Dragonstone with them to get at Alicent. This had absolutely nothing to do with Alyssa or Daemond's sudden fatherly feelings. Which he probably didn't even have. At least Alyssa doesn't think Daemon had them. Maybe to Rhaena and Baela, but not to her.

Daemon didn't look at her as he spoke. "The scars on your hands. Is it my nephew's fault? Had he done that to you?"

Alyssa stared from her hands back to her father. "No."

"Was it Alicent?"

"No. The Queen would never hurt me." Alyssa also wanted to defend Aemond, wanted to tell Daemon that her best friend would never hurt her, but she said nothing. Because the truth was, Aemond had hurt her more than she ever thought possible. The scars on her heart hurt more than those on her hands.

"You don't know anything about Alicent Hightower. Or her father, or her children. You're a pawn in their sick game.” Daemon looked away from the sea and looked at Alyssa. He looked bored, but his expression was serious.

Alyssa gritted her teeth. "Just like I'm a pawn in your own game. That's why you didn't contradict the princess when she invited me to Dragonstone, right?"

Daemon's mouth twitched. "Possibly. Do not overestimate your worth, however, my dear daughter. You may be blood of my blood, and my dear brother may have made you a Targaryen, but you are not."

Alyssa tried not to let those words get too close. They didn't hurt half as much as Aemond's last night. Which was just a sign that Daemon didn't mean anything to her. His words meant nothing to her.

"Don't you think I know that? I may look like a Targaryen and I carry the name but I'm not stupid. I may be a child but I'm not stupid. My mother was a whore and that makes me a bastard. But let's be honest, who cares? I carry the blood of old Valyria in me and everyone can see that at first sight. It's different with the children of the princess. I'm not saying that I doubt their origin, because honestly, I like my tongue were it is and I don't care who their father was. But looks are what people care about. They worth more than the truth."

Daemon's eyebrows rose slightly. "Maybe I underestimated you after all."

Alyssa shrugged. "And if so. That doesn't change anything either."

"Doesn't change what exactly?"

"That I won't go back to King's Landing. I accepted the princess's offer and will go to Dragonstone. Whether you will be there or not, I don't care."

There was a laugh and Alyssa looked at the prince in astonishment. "Maybe we have more in common than I thought."

"We have absolutely nothing in common," Alyssa ground out, clenching her small hands into fists. "I know what loyalty is, what responsibility means. You eluded both a long time ago."

Daemon approached her and for a brief moment Alyssa was afraid of him. He grabbed her hands and forced her fists to unclench, showing her her own palms. "Then tell me how you got those scars."

"I defended my family. And I would do it again anytime, no matter what the cost." She was proud of what she had done. Proud that she had been able to protect Helaena. Just like Alicent had said.

"Then these scars are proof that we are more alike than you care to admit, daughter." He literally spat the last word at her feet.

"Hm," Alyssa said. She would never admit that she and the man who abandoned her as a baby had anything in common.

"You're scared," Daemon stated then. She looked at him confused, not knowing what he meant. "From the way you look at those scars, the way you got them scared you. You're downright disturbed."

Of course she was scared and probably she was also disturbed, as he named it so tactlessly. She had been attacked by a stranger and had been wounded by him. Alyssa nodded slowly. "I couldn't defend myself when I had to. Those scars..." her voice cracked and she felt the tears in her eyes. "The blade might as well have slit my throat and there was nothing I could have done about it." Because she was a girl. Because she had been banned from attending Ser Criston's training.

"I'll teach you," Daemon said then.

"What?"

"Defending yourself if that's what you want."

"What else could I want?"

A grin appeared on Daemon's face and he rested a hand on his sword's hilt. Dark Sister was his name, Alyssa had read about that sword. "There is a difference between defending and attacking. There is a difference between fighting and killing."

Alyssa considered his words. She hadn't harmed the man who attacked her. She hadn't hurt him because she couldn't. Because she didn't know how. Could she have hurt him, maybe even killed him, if she had known how? Alyssa didn't know the answer to that question. But she would find out. She didn't want to be helpless anymore.

"Teach me."

"What exactly?"

"Everything."

"If you want to learn it, you should learn to say it out loud."

Alyssa took a deep breath and then looked into Daemon's eyes, which matched her own. "Teach me to defend myself. Teach me how to fight. And if I must, teach me how to kill."

He released her and turned away from her. Alyssa stayed behind, heart pounding, staring at him.

Daemon turned to her, one eyebrow raised. "What is it? Are you coming now?"

"Where?"

"We have a wedding to celebrate and you will be there. As will your halfsisters and your future stepbrothers."

Alyssa looked at him blankly. "What do you mean? Which wedding?"

"Princess Rhaenyra and I are marrying according to ancient Valyrian law. Now come."

So, starting today, Alyssa would be black and live on Dragonstone, but that wouldn't change who or what she was.

Daemon Targaryen might have fathered her, but he wasn't her father. And Alyssa wasn't his daughter. No matter what he would teach her, how he would treat her from now on, Alyssa would never forget what he has done.

King's Landing was strangely silent. Far too quiet for his taste. He'd thought the new books in the library would distract him, take his mind off things, but Aemond had been wrong. The library had seemed too quiet, too lonely. Between the countless pages of books, he had felt Alyssa's absence even more.

She had left him, simply let him down. Aemond clenched his fists. His mood seemed to affect his health. His fresh wound throbbed painfully and he felt the absence of his eye all too clearly.

Aemond hissed, hating the pain. It was worst at night. When his thoughts had time to roam. With his thoughts racing, the pain was coming. The maesters had told him to expect phantom pains from time to time. His missing eye would need time to heal. But Aemond wasn't known for his patience.

He had avoided all mirrors since the attack. Even covered those in his chambers. He didn't want to see the scar. Aegon had told him that he was no longer handsome - if he ever was - and how difficult it would be for him to find a woman who could bear his ugly face from now on.

He was disfigured. Forever.

And it was all Luke Velaryon's fault. His own nephew had turned him into a monster. He and Jace had taken his eye and they had taken Alyssa from him. If the brothers hadn't attacked him, there would never have been a fight between him and Alyssa. His feelings wouldn't have gotten the better of him and he would never have said those words to her. Everything would have been fine.

But it wasn't.

His best friend had decided to leave King's Landing, his family and himself. Aemond remembered the tears that had flowed incessantly down her cheeks. The pain in her violet eyes. It was his words that caused this. Alyssa had cried because of him. Decided to accompany Princess Rhaenyra and her bastards to Dragonstone for his sake.

He blamed himself for it.

He blamed himself for the loss of his beloved sister's cousin and best friend. Helaena was even more silent and stranger than usual. Talked in riddles that no one understood. Helaena had asked about Alyssa several times after their arrival in the capital. As if she kept forgetting that she already knew the answer. Each time, her questions had made Aemond wince. Had reopened his wounds. Not the ones on his face, but the ones on his heart. Those wounds he would never admit to have.

He blamed himself for the loss of Aegons companion. His brother and Alyssa were not as close as himself and her, but he know that even Aegon missed their cousin. Even if he would‘t admit it. Alyssa was the only one in the family how tried to understand Aegons feelings. She laughed with him, made bets with him and she even spoke for him when the queen was angry at Aegon.

He blamed himself for the loss of his mothers daughter. Even when the two were not related, his mother had lost a daughter. Because of him. Alicent and Alyssa were close and now she was gone. He had driven Alyssa into the arms of their enemies.

He was not sorry for his father. Eben though the king seem to miss his niece as well. He took her in when Alyssa was only a baby, raised her as if she was his kin. Viserys was not a very good father to any of them, but everyone could see that the king liked his niece dearly. But he didn't do anything to stop Alyssas going. He was the king, if he only said no, Alyssa would still be by his side.

If his mother knew that it was Aemond's fault that Alyssa was gone, then his mother would hate him. And because of this hate, he was afraid to tell her the truth.

Alyssa and Alicent were very close. His mother was probably closer to Alyssa than her own children. It had never bothered him because he had never been able to be jealous or angry with Alyssa. The warmth the queen had shown Alyssa, had automatically spread to him and his siblings. Whenever Alyssa was around it seems to him that his mother remembered her duties as a mother, she was nicer, warmer, she cared more. But now this warmth was gone.

Alicent hadn't spoken to her children for the first two days. Not even to her husband. Aemond had even heard that she had locked herself in her own chambers. But he didn't know if that was the truth or just what the servants were saying.

Whether it was the truth or not didn't matter to Aemond either. His mother was grieving and he was the reason for it. On the third day he couldn't take it anymore. No matter where he went, everything reminded him of Alyssa. He had been naïve enough to think she would regret her decision and come back to them. Realizing that she belonged at his side and not among his nephews. But three days had passed and no ship or dragon had brought Alyssa back to him. He went quietly to his mother's room and knocked on the door.

"My prince," Talya, his mother's maid, greeted him. "The queen doesn't want to be disturbed."

"Let him in, Talya," came his mother's voice. But she sounded strangely exhausted, as if she had run for miles or screamed the hole day. His mother was still in bed, her hair was down and she was not dressed for visitors.

"Are you ill, mother?"

Alicent shook her head, trying to smile, but it didn't reach her eyes. "No I'm fine. Come here, Aemond.” She patted the covers and Aemond hesitantly walked over to her.

Slowly, using his hands to find his way around the room. He still had to learn to live with only one eye from now on. His vision was limited, his perception impaired.

"You look exhausted, mother."

Alicent sighed and rubbed both hands over her face. "I guess I am. Those were tiring days. The maesters tell me that you are making good progress. Soon you will be able to walk, to dance and even to fight normally again. In a few weeks you will be riding Vhagar through the air.”

She tried to cheer him up, but he didn't deserve it. He lay down next to her, resting his head on her chest. Aemond felt his mother gently stroke his head.

"I miss her," he whispered without meaning to. He hadn't wanted to admit how much it pained him to be away from Alyssa.

"I know," said his mother. "I miss her, too."

Aemond felt tears welling up in his eyes and he hid his face against his mother. "They took her away from us. But they are not allowed to. We have to get her back.”

"Aemond," came his mother's warning. "Yes, they took her away from us, but I am not stupid. I may not know exactly what happened that night, but I saw in Alyssa's eyes. I know she left for a reason. And that reason has to do with you.”

Aemond swallowed. He couldn't tell his mother what he had done. "Maybe she didn't want to be near a monster anymore," he whispered. It was of course not the real reason why Alyssa left, but it could be. Aemond doesn't know what she thought of his scar. Was she disgusted? He hoped not. But he couldn't be sure.

"What do you mean by that?"

Aemond's lips drew into a thin line, he didn't answer. "Aemond, look at me." He did as he was told. "You are not a monster. What the Velaryon boys did to you was not your fault, and had it been up to me, they would have been punished. You lost your eye, but that doesn't make you any less valuable and it certainly doesn't make you a monster.” Alicent swiped his cheek. Ran her fingers over the scar. Aemond only realized he was crying when his mother wiped away the tears. "Alyssa doesn't see you as a monster any more than I do. Do you understand me?"

Aemond bit his lower lip but nodded.

"Tell me. What happened? Did you two fight? Did she do something or did you say something to her?" Alicent sounded as desperate as Aemond felt.

He shook his head. "No, mother." The lie tasted bitter on his tongue.

"Aemond, I can't fix it if I don't know what happened. So talk to me."

He could not. Couldn't bring himself to tell her the truth. He didn't want to see the disappointment on his mother's face like he had seen on Alyssa's face. He was ashamed of what he had said to her. Deeply.

Alicent sighed and pushed Aemond away. "Either you learn to live without her or you find a way to make things right with her. But whatever you decide, Alyssa is gone for now. She is with Daemon and Rhaenyra and they will leave no stone unturned, to get her on their side. Do you understand what I'm telling you?"

Aemond nodded. He wasn't a fool like his brother. He understood the feud between his family and that of the princess. If Rhaenyra were to sit on the throne after his father, Aegon and his own life would be a threat to her reign. They were legitimate sons of the king and had the same right to rule as the princess.

"Alyssa may only be half Targaryen and without your father she would be little more than a bastard, but she has the blood of old Valyria in her, as will her children. Daemon and Rhaenyra know that."

"The blood must be pure."

"Yes, that's why we engaged your brother to your sister."

Aemond looked at his mother. "Then you want an engagement between me and Alyssa?"

"It was always a possibility, yes."

Aemond's heart beat faster. That was exactly what he always wanted. He only wanted two things. He wanted to be a dragon rider and Alyssa should stand by his side.

"Your joy is unfounded, my dear son. Alyssa is gone. Now that I am no longer responsible for her, I will not be able to decide who she will marry one day. Now it's up to Daemon Targaryen to decide. Many will come and ask for her hand. And if you want Alyssa as your wife, we're going to have to send an official offer like everyone else. And believe me, your uncle would rather cut off both of his hands than marry one of his daughters to one of my sons."

"But-"

"There are no buts, Aemond. The time will come when we will be at war and every one of those named Targaryen will have a part to play in this fight. Alyssa too."

Aemond's heart clenched at his mother's harsh words.

"No matter what you or she did, Alyssa can't be on our side when living under the same roof as Daemon and Rhaenyra.”

"But she belongs to our family, not to theirs."

Alicent nodded. "I know that. She's one of us. But you made sure that wasn't the case anymore."

Aemond looked down in shame. His mother was right. It was his fault she was gone. “What can we do?" he then asked quietly.

Alicent narrowed his eyes. A dark shadow crossed her face. "I will make sure that Alyssa returns to our family. Maybe she will come back of her own accord, maybe she needs time. If she doesn't, I will make sure that she finds her way back to her true family."

"Can't we get her back right now, mother?" He didn't want to go another night or another day without his best friend. The last three had already been too much. He needed Alyssa.

Alicent sadly shook his head. "My hands are tied."

"I can get her back. I'll take Vhagar, fly to Dragonstone and bring her back."

"And what if she doesn't want to come? What if Daemon won't let her go, or Rhaenyra has already wrapped her around her finger ?"

Aemond pressed his lips together and his hands became fists. "They won't take her away from me."

Alicent looked at her son in silence. She had always known there was a strong bond between Aemond and Alyssa. But they were children, playmates. Now her son spoke like a grown man who would take back what had been taken from him.

"If they don't return her voluntarily, I will burn down Dragonstone and everyone who lives there. Vhagar will be happy to help me."

Alicent smiled at her son and ruffled his silvery white hair. "Patience, my son. It is not yet the time for fire and blood. We are not yet at war. Now it is time to light the way”, Alicent echoed her own houses words.

„They’re not going to hurt her, are they?“

Alicent shook his head. "No, they won't. Although I hate to admit it, she's safe on Dragonstone. Nothing will happen to her there."

That only reassured Aemond in moderation. Who dared to hurt Alyssa he would feed them to Vhagar. But he didn't want to wait for Alyssa to come back to them or for his mother to get her.

He wanted her to be here now. Instantly!

Alicent saw the anger on Aemond's face. "Be aware of what you want, Aemond. Your brother will need you, as will your sister and our entire family."

"I want Alyssa."

"I know. And you shall have her. But first you have to prove yourself worthy of her."

Aemond made a face. Hadn't he already done that? He had claimed Vhagar, the largest dragon in the whole world. She was now under his command. Who could be more worthy of Alyssa than him?

"I have Vhagar."

The queen let out a bitter laugh. "And do you think that will impress Alyssa? Or her Daemon?" Alicent shook his head. "Daemon won't give a shit if you fly Vhagar or any other dragon. He'll marry Alyssa off for political machinations and alliances. And you will not be his first choice or any choice of him."

Anger flared up in Aemond. What had he gone through all this for, even sacrificed an eye, if he wasn't supposed to have Alyssa after all? That was not fair!

"And what must I do to be worthy of her?"

A smile crossed Alicent's face. "Be the man she needs, the man she deserves. You're not a man yet, but soon you will be. And then you'll know what to do."

Aemond frowned blankly. He didn't know what his mother meant. She hadn't answered his question to his satisfaction. He still didn't know what he had to do to prove himself worthy of Alyssa.

But he would find out.

Tag-List:

@girl-with-an-orange-cat @itsjustmyopinionf1 @xcharlottemikaelsonx @immyowndefender @kohsongbird @curiouser-an-curiouser @stargaryenx @multiple-fandoms-girl @itsemy01 @crazymusicgirl104 @draganaludoski

@stargaryenx @beccaerenswife @kaitieskidmore1 @sunmoon-01

@jbaby2 @fullmetalriotts @justaproudslytherpuff @claudie-080102 @awesomemikaus @linkpk88 @imjustboredso @abrielletargaryen

#aemond targaryen imagine #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond one eye #house of the dragon #house of the dragon imagine

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literallyaflame · 9 months

Note

i would also be interested in a post on the whole anti/proship topic, bc im also firmly in camp >can we buy some nuance here? no?< (tho i do have a "side" i lean more towards ig) so im defs interested in other ppl having opinions that fall outside the black/white view n talkin about it...bc i feel like lots of us either dont talk abt it both bc of the worry u mentioned abt getting backlash, or bc it just feels like talking to a wall bc nuance is ignored a lot...

my argument is just that “fiction affects reality” and “fiction doesn’t affect reality” both fail to address the issue. fiction is the product of reality, not the other way around. it represents pre-existing notions about the world, and must be evaluated for tonality and intent, not the mere presence of Bad Things

is this depiction of sexual abuse an endorsement of the behavior, or is it a dark erotic fantasy, written by a self-aware author? i don’t know, i would have to read it to find out. does this horror movie fetishize violence against minorities? perhaps, depending on who wrote it and who the intended audience was. is this loli/shota drawing the product of someone who seeks to abuse children, or does the artist just really like frilly dresses?

more importantly, how the fuck do we tell the difference?

well, we’ve gotta start applying media literacy skills to adult content. it’s not any different from anything else, aside from the guilt and shame factor. if we accept that depictions of murder and violence may or may not be problematic, then we have to accept the same truth about sex. not all stories function as self-insert wish-fulfillment, erotica included—but erotica can tell us something about an author’s relationship with sex in the same way that horror can tell us something about an author’s relationship with gore and violence

how and why people consume this content varies, and may or may not be healthy. regardless, we don’t evaluate fiction based on how it may “affect reality.” not even propaganda, the mind-changer of fiction, is that simple; it appeals to pre-existing biases and pre-existing notions because, again, fiction is a product of reality. not the other way around.

you can’t really defend the idea that “everyone who depicts [x] is endorsing [x] and attempting to normalize [x] and is therefore evil” because it’s neither universally true nor productive. you also can’t defend the idea that fiction is utterly divorced from reality, because artists and writers live in reality, and reality influences their art

i hate to say this, but when it comes down to it, i personally don’t give a shit if someone ships wincest or has a ddlg fetish or whatever. maybe they’re a horrible monster or maybe they just have a run-of-the-mill erotic fascination, i don’t know. i don’t feel the need to pass final judgement on individual strangers, even if they make me uncomfortable. i’m more interested in advocating for 1.) ethical, enforceable rules about tagging and filtering sensitive and/or adult content 2.) systems that prevent real-life abuse without reducing it to an evil subtype of person and 3.) the case-by-case application of media literacy skills to the aforementioned adult content, which can absolutely perpetuate all sorts of alarming ideas about sex & abuse

#tw pedophila mention #tw abuse #kind of #listen i mentioned lolishota i feel the need to tag for something fhsjfhdj #dear god i hope this makes sense #I was gonna make this a longer thing and cite sources but tbh #when you break it down it’s not that complex #like #the difference between fetishizing a trans person and eroticizing a trans person #isn’t magical an unknowable #and the solution isn’t ‘ban!! ban all the trans sex videos!!!!’#it’s just a matter of… you know…. the relationship between the audience and the creator #how and why that relationship is facilitated who benefits from it etc #*and unknowable #man i hate typing tags on mobile lmao

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q-gorgeous · 1 year

Text

Are You Still In There

fanfiction

ao3

word count: 2231

Danny is a half-ghost/half-human who’s been living in the Ghost Zone ever since he can remember. One day, while flying around the zone, he finds two humans! He's never seen real humans before! How did they get here? And who are they? @duchi-nesten

heres another

Danny flew through the ghost zone. He loved it here. There was always something interesting happening, something new to look at.

It was also really nice today. The ghost zone sometimes had some really strange weather that would appear sporadically, but no random storms or quakes had happened today. It was very peaceful. Or at least as peaceful as the ghost zone could get.

He heard something strange. It sounded like something propelling itself forward through the ghost zone. It was similar to Skulker’s jets in his suit. What could it be?

When he looked down he saw something flying through the zone below him. It didn’t look like anything he’s ever seen. He looked closer and saw two humans sitting in the seats in front of the large window.

Humans! He’s never seen any real humans before. The other ghosts only ever told him stories. And very few at that. This was his chance to talk to some real humans!

He flew down toward them and was rehearsing what he was going to say. Were humans normally freaked out by ghosts? Could he just go up to them and say hi? Clearly if they were here he probably couldn’t freak them out too much. Not when they were also flying around in the ghost zone.

As he flew towards the ship, he watched as the girl that was inside it looked up at him. Her eyes widened and she shook her friend's shoulder, pointing up at where he was flying to them. She pressed a button and then he could hear her voice coming out of some speakers.

“Danny? Danny is that you?” The girl called. Her hands were pressed against the glass of their weird spaceship looking thing as she stared straight at him.

“How do you know my name?” He cocked his head at her.

“Tucker! I think that’s him!” She said excitedly, ignoring him.

“But he looks so different. His skin is a different color and his ears are pointed now. Sam, what if he’s…”

She bit her lip and looked away from the boy. Tucker.

“Maybe… Maybe he’s not. Maybe we just have to get him back to the human realm.”

“How do you guys know me?” He flew up to their ship and stared at them through the window.

They exchanged a concerned glance between the two of them and he was confused.

“Do you not remember us, Danny?” Sam whispered.

“Nope. I’ve been here for as long as I can remember.” He frowned. “Am I supposed to remember you?”

“We are your best friends.” Sam pleaded. “We’ve spent so long looking for you. It had been so long, we were almost ready to give up. We thought maybe you died… We didn’t know what would happen if you died again, where you would go. We thought you might have just disappeared.”

Danny furrowed his brows. “How could I have died again if I was already dead when I knew the two of you? That doesn’t make sense.”

“You’re telling me.” Tucker said quietly.

“Can you come back home with us, Danny?” Sam said. Her hands were still pressed against the glass.

Danny smiled. “I don’t know if you’re telling the truth, but I’d be up for going to the human realm! I’ve never been there before. It could be fun.”

He flew through the door into the ship after Sam opened it for him. Once she had the door shut again, she scooped him up in a big hug.

“I’m so glad we found you.” She whispered.

“So assuming you guys are telling the truth, what happened?” Danny asked. He awkwardly patted Sam’s back.

“You were fighting some new ghost we’d never seen before.” Sam pulled back to look at him. “He must’ve been on the same level as Pariah Dark because your parents were evacuating people out of the city. We were leaving when a big explosion happened and then the fight was over. You defeated the ghost, but then you were nowhere to be found.”

“When you went missing after defeating that ghost, your parents thought Phantom had something to do with it since he went missing at the same time, obviously. We had to tell them everything. We needed their help to be able to find you since we didn’t know what happened to you.” Tucker said quietly.

“Everyone’s been so worried but we finally found you. We’re going to fix this. Everything’s going to be okay now.”

Danny looked at Sam and Tucker as they spoke. He didn’t remember anything about his human life. But these two people made him wish he did. Maybe he wasn’t dead after all. Maybe he had a chance to get his memories back.

-----

Danny jumped out of their ship and landed on the tiled floor of a cold basement. The swirling portal was behind them and he was still surprised about how he had never found it before. It wasn’t that far away from where he normally resided in the zone, how had he never seen it before?

He looked around at the basement. Supposedly this was his parents lab. This didn’t seem any more familiar to him than his two best friends that brought him here.

“So what do my parents do again?” Danny asked. “I don’t think most normal people have labs in their basements.”

“Oh, uh, they’re ghost hunters.” Tucker smiled sheepishly.

“They’re not gonna kill me deader, are they?” Danny asked. Who knew if his parents even believed their story that he was one in the same as their son.

“They shouldn’t. They better not.” Sam frowned as she started heading up the stairs on the other side of the room. “We explained everything to them and they seemed really remorseful about everything that’s happened. They shouldn’t change their minds now.”

“Come on, Danny. Let’s go upstairs.” Tucker smiled at him. “We can let everyone know the good news.”

They headed up the stairs together. Danny felt nervous for some reason. If everything they were saying was true, how would his parents really feel about him now? Being a ghost was all he’d ever known, were they going to try and take that away from him?

His hands felt jittery as he passed through the doorway leading into what looked like the kitchen. He could see three people sitting at the table in the center of the rooms and his anxious thoughts were dashed away when the smallest of the three stood up and ran towards him.

“Danny!” She threw her arms around his neck. “Danny, is that really you? What happened? Where have you been all this time?”

“Jazz, Danny doesn’t remember anything.” Tucker said softly.

He felt as Jazz slowly pulled back from him. She studied his face, looking for any ounce of recognition in his eyes. She must not have found what she was looking for because tears welled up in her eyes and she pulled away. Seeing her cry hurt.

She took a deep breath. “Sorry, that must have been weird or overwhelming. I’m Jazz, your sister.”

Danny studied her face but then his gaze drifted behind her to where the two older people were still sitting at the table. They stared at him with wide eyes.

“Are those our parents?”

Jazz nodded. “Yes.”

He watched as the woman, his mom, stood up from her chair. She walked towards him slowly.

“Danny?”

She studied his face and tears filled her eyes. His dad walked up behind her, studying his face in the same way,

“How did we never see it before?” She whispered. “You look nearly identical to your human half.”

A sob pushed its way out of her throat. “I’m sorry for everything, Danny. I’m so sorry. Maybe if we had known, you wouldn’t have disappeared. We could’ve stayed to help.”

He didn’t remember anything she was talking about, so he couldn’t offer her any help. All he could do was watch.

“Mom, do you know how to fix this?” Jazz asked.

His mom took a deep breath and steadied herself. “We’ll have to figure out what happened first. We need to do a bit of research before we can start making theories and plans on how to move forward.” She smiled at Danny.

“Glad to have you back.” His dad said.

“Glad to be here.” Danny smiled at the strangers surrounding him. He couldn’t remember them yet, but they felt like home.

-----

Danny floated above his bed in his room drinking from a slurpy Sam and Tucker had dropped off for him after school. He couldn’t resume his normal human activities yet since he still couldn’t remember anything, not even how to change back to his human form, but they were always offering to bring him things they said he liked before or stories to tell him.

“Danny!” His mom called from downstairs.

He set the slurpy down on his bedside table and floated downstairs through the floor into the living room. His mom stood facing the stairs, expecting him to be walking down them.

“Hey, what’s up?” He said behind her.

She jumped a little bit and turned around to face him.

“Oh, Danny!” Her hand was to her chest. “You startled me.”

“Sorry.” He said sheepishly.

She waved it off and smiled at him. “Your dad and I have made progress.”

“Progress?” He asked.

“We’ve been observing you since you came back home.” She started. “We think spending so much time in the ghost zone forced your ghost form to adapt. Without knowing you were also supposed to be human, it could be possible that your body let itself change to better suit your environment.”

She gestured at his face. “Your ghost form is already starting to go back to how it initially was before you came back.”

“It is?” Danny asked, shocked. He hadn’t noticed anything about his appearance changing.

His mom nodded. “Your ears are no longer so long and pointed and your skin is closer to a more human tone.”

“Huh.” How did he not notice that?

“We’ve also started developing a new invention that will let us see inside your core.”

Danny raised a hand up to his chest. “That won’t hurt, will it?”

She shook her head. “Not a bit. All it’ll do is scan your core. This way we can see exactly what’s happening inside it. We’re going to see if the part of your core that triggered your transformation is still there.”

“And if it’s not?” Danny asked.

She paused for a moment. “If it’s not still there then it’s likely you died in that last battle.”

Danny swallowed hard. “That’s some high stakes for a simple scan.”

She nodded. “We’ve got to keep hope though. You’ve proven that you’re extremely lucky, in one way or another. I’m sure we’ll be able to find it. If we do, we at least know where to start.”

He nodded back at her. “Are you working on it right now?”

“Yes, it’ll be our priority until it’s finished.”

“Can I come see it?”

She smiled. “Of course.”

-----

Danny sat in the living room with Sam and Tucker. It was Friday, the start of the weekend, so they came over right after school to hang out the whole weekend. His parents said that they were close to finishing their new invention that would be able to scan his core and they wanted to be here when it was done so they could all find out what it said together.

For now, Sam and Tucker were regaling him with all sorts of stories about their classmates.

“Wait, wait.” Danny shook his hands in front of him. “You’re telling me the guy used to beat me up all the time? Why’s he so sad I’ve been missing then?”

Sam shrugged. “Tucker thinks that he lost his favorite punching bag. I think he’s got some deeply repressed feelings for you.”

Tucker rolled his eyes. “There’s never been any sort of evidence pointing towards Dash being interested in guys. What are you even basing your theory off of?”

“Maybe it’s a gut feeling.”

“The Fenton’s would be offended by you making theories without anything to support them.”

“Yeah, well, they used to-”

Sam was interrupted when Jazz slammed the basement door open in the kitchen. She ran through the door into the living room, out of breath. She looked at the three of them and smiled.

“Mom and dad finally finished the invention! We’re going to get to see if your human form is still in there somewhere.” Jazz said excitedly.

Danny, Sam, and Tucker exchanged glances with one another. Sam and Tucker smiled at him but he could tell they were nervous.

They stood up and Tucker extended a hand to him. Danny let him pull him up off the couch. Jazz ran back to the basement door.

They followed after Jazz and walked down the stairs. When Danny passed the threshold of the lab, he could see the invention his parents had been working on ever since he came back sitting in the middle of the lab. He walked toward it.

Sam and Tucker walked with him, one on either side of him. He looked at them nervously.

“Are you ready to see if you’re still in there somewhere?” Sam asked with a small smile on her face.

Danny nodded. “Definitely.”

#gorgi writes #danny phantom #phic phight 2023 #danny fenton #sam manson #tucker foley #jazz fenton #maddie fenton #jack fenton #fanfiction

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stormblessed95 · 11 months

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I have a big problem with ot7 army’s who act very very weird towards jimin and jungkook specifically when it’s both of them involved in something and I think it’s quite a problem too. Ot7 army’s insinuate anything to do with Jikook as shipping and it’s lowkey an insulting way to think because can’t you see their friendship outside of a sexual and romantic relationship, yk the funny thing about that is they ‘hate’ shipping the boys but they can’t see jimin and jungkook as just friends. It’s always about a ship with them and they can never let anyone enjoy the moment.

What triggered this thought was the response to this tweet where the interviewer asked a question where he mentions jimin and the response was so wholly negative and I get that he didn’t ask the best questions but if it was namjoon mentioned for example or maybe even taehyung I know and believe the response probably would’ve been entirely different. And adding onto that when the GMA host asked about jimin they were mad again? But like what do you honestly expect jimin was also in the country with jungkook so they’re gonna ask about the member he’s with. What really annoyed me was that I and the rest of the fandom were mad for different reasons I was annoyed because she outed that jimin was there and it wasn’t common knowledge but the rest were mad just simply because of the mentioning of his name….

I’ve seen it’s such a widespread thing amont majority of the fandom to diminish or ignore jimin and jungkooks bond or what they obviously have. I saw a popular tweet saying jimin could pull namjoon and I honestly believe that and the comments agreed and mentioned yoongi and taehyung a lot but not once jungkook… i questioned whether we’re seeing the same content because not one mention of jungkook THAT MAN IS WHIPPED for jimin😭it’s not even that big of a deal but it is since it’s such a popular thing. And also jimin went to nyc to support jungkook no army talked about it only jkkrs.

Sorry I’m just gonna have a rant about some other thing’s because this feels like a safe space.

I also wanted to talk about the lack of action against tkkrs especially by ot7 army’s. And I have watched this from once again a neutral point of view as someone who doesn’t indulge in shipping. Tkkrs legitimately run the fandom they make up at most 50% of it too. So wherever you go you will see atleast one taekooker and by now I would’ve thought they would decrease in numbers but they haven’t and they’re running wild. The YouTube videos they made of jimin, the tiktoks spreading mistranslations, the SA tweets they make about him and just all the verbal harassment as well as defamation. And when I see these things happen it’s a big big deal but it’s never talked about and the one time they did which was that one twitter space where this old lady was talking none of the accounts got banned 💀 and I had reported them each 20 times. They also had posts accusing jimin of harassing jungkook which are reportable but the account managed to stay up even after it got more than 1mil views on their hate tweet?. I don’t how the account still being up can be explained other than by the fact that barely anybody didn’t anything. And the grouping they do is outrageous

I get that some/quite a big of jikookers are bad but they have never done what tkkrs do and continue to do. They use it as deflection they say “all shippers” and never explicitly mention that literal cult.

And I used to follow this one army who had been exposed for being a jimin anti and friends with vile taekookers mind you they had 20k followers. This person liked tweets by vile jimin anti (not the anti ones themselves) and was in a gc with taekookers who while she was in there shat on Jimins name and hated him. And yet no ot7 army called them out only pjms and jikookers. They still have an extremely large following. As well people jumped to their defence even when they themselves had none??? But then I saw them giving hate too a jimin bias army who by the way had never been an anti but just didn’t post about other members as much. The energy is always directed in the wrong directions and I think it’s purposeful.

1. I'm an OT7 army and while there are quite a few of us doing what we can about tkkrs. The point is valid

2. I also saw that minimoni tweet and saw the lack of Jungkook mentioned 🤣 sigh

3. Rant posted

#jikook #kookmin #jikook rants

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rpedia · 3 months

Text

Anonymous asked: Idk, why. But every time I rp as a guy I sometimes feel uncomfortable or just bored. Especially when it comes to canon characters, I feel like I'm just satisfying my parthers otp/ships with their oc's. And when I try to bring in my others oc's, they're ignored. This happens almost every time with any other person. Do you have any advice?

Usually there’s a reason for stuff like this, so lemme jump to the biggest most extreme conclusion and get that outta the way. If you’re uncomfortable exclusively by the act of playing a gender, or thinking like a gender, and acting like a gender, and feel like you’re just playing a role with no connection to specifically a gender and nothing else... Maybe you don’t want to play/be/act as that gender? I mean, it could be anything setting you off, but this is important to point out, especially with your wording, subconscious though it may be. You don’t have to RP as a guy. It’s okay. Be anything you want, that’s what RP is for. To have fun, and be comfortable, and do what feels good to you. There’s no shame in just saying no to RPing anything. Settings, characters, genders, themes, tropes, even just roleplaying if you’re not in the mood! Roleplay is, again, for fun, and you should probably communicate that you’re no longer having it. That you want to explore other options. I mean this could be as simple as you don’t have chemistry with those partners, to as complex as realizing you may not have a real connection to a specific gender... even IRL.

Like, I’m not gonna lie, I have seen a large number of people who have realized they identify as something else because they’ve played other genders, tried out the ol’ mental space with RP, and found something that fit them better. Might not be applicable to you, that’s fine. This is a deeply personal decision though, I’m just pointing it out as an aside because some people need that little push to go ‘oh’ and this answer is going to be an open letter to everyone who is in this situation as usual. So hey, it doesn’t have to be too serious, and if questioning your labels isn’t your speed, no issue. Just thought it was wise to point it out, rather than ignore it and pretend it didn’t set off a tiny alarm in my head saying ‘hang on a sec’. So yes, with that out of the way— Of course that’s not the only reason things might feel ‘off’! Like I mention above, there’s plenty of other things, so now that we have a quick ‘I’d be a jerk if I didn’t say this does happen’ out of the way, let’s explore things like chemistry, and why your characters don’t resonate with you personally, but end up seeming to be more for your partner in crime over there. AKA: Playing for other people, and why it doesn’t really work out.

So when you RP a character and they don’t sync with you personally? That’s a big thing buddy! That’s a sign you’re not playing what you love or vibe with. That doesn’t seem like something you should get upset about, we all do stuff that we feel pretty neutral or vaguely bored by for friends and family, but it really really can be draining over time. Playing something deeply out of your personal experience is a fun challenge, but I would never say do that for a long term if you’re not getting comfortable as you do it. You can burn yourself out, by pushing too hard and making so much work for yourself you lose the thread of fun supposedly throughout all RP.

Me? I have trouble with happy, perky characters. I can do it, and I do it well judging by the reaction of people around me, but it just doesn’t feel right. It feels like someone is very slowly spreading me thinner and thinner trying to react against my natural instincts. I know it’s actually another problem that some people feel like they play too many similar characters, but that’s a natural inclination to play something that suits you, so you can give your full attention to the details surrounding that character instead of questioning everything you do.

Being able to act on auto pilot helps a ton when you want to focus on the important parts, like the plot instead of figuring out how this character would feel if it’s not what you kneejerk understand. Second guessing is hard! As anyone who deals with second guessing everything they do all day: it leads to exhaustion because it’s an extra hidden layer of emotional labor.

So! Why are dudes uncomfortable for you? We’ve got an obvious problem here that an external force (your RP buddies over there) may have trained you to believe that you only have one purpose. That male characters are romance fodder, and have to fall in love with an OC. That your OC’s aren’t important. That’s gonna be a whoooole different problem right there. This is a problem with your RP partner, who is using you to fulfill their happiness. There’s a huge problem with the power dynamic in this OOC relationship, just going by this little snippet.

Your partner should never make you feel like you’re only roleplaying for their sake.

I’m leaving that line all alone so you can really look at it, and reread it. I’m going to say it again in fact: Your partner should never make you feel like you’re only roleplaying for their sake. There’s various reasons why that’s icky, but I’ll just touch on what stands out to me most. One of those things is that this makes roleplaying a job.

Instead of letting yourself explore the mind of a character you enjoy, you’ve come to expect that you will follow a certain order of things, and that your job is to fill the emotional labor required of your partner to keep them happy. They respond to you requesting similar emotional labor (which in a healthy relationship should be give-and-take) by ignoring you. This is painful for you, maybe not like getting pinched, but feeling like what you’ve made isn’t good enough? That you’re not good enough by extension because our RP kids are totally extensions of ourselves? That’s unfair. Unfair to you.

However! Even if something seems to be a pattern, like not playing dudes, it’s always good to test run characters from all walks of life. Any character couldn’t be the exception to or that your mood could change. That means, don’t feel guilty if you’ve said “this label doesn’t feel right” for a while, and then you have an exception. It just means it’s an exception, you’re fine. You’re not breaking your own rules, you’re learning more about what works with you.

Finding yourself at a loss with OC’s or characters you enjoy may point to your environment being one that’s hostile to new things. They don’t understand an OC, there’s no blueprint giving them an idea of what to expect. OC’s are also one of the easiest ways for players to get into the game, which means newbies who lack social graces tend to gravitate towards them because ‘there’s no rules to break’ in how they portray them. Unfortunately since they don’t know how to approach others in socially appropriate ways, this gives OC’s a reputation for being awful to play with. They break etiquette, they push too hard, they don’t get why someone may be backing away. This isn’t the OC’s fault, it’s the player, but it’s seen more in OC’s because of ease-of-entry. So... they gain a reputation.

That means approaching on an OC is definitely going to come with people looking for standard red flags, and they’ll need to see you in action long enough to get comfortable with you! You have to be stellar in everything to get attention, and you have to have a hook. Your character has to be stand-out, interesting, and fun. Something people get grabbed by the summary of, so they can emotionally attach to it the same way they did major series, which give a character time to come out of their shell, and audiences time to connect to them. That’s why canons are popular: They bought the time it took to get under people’s skin by having a plot to follow. Without that, OC’s are like hearing about a character from another fandom you’re not interested in.

There’s also, unfortunately, an online beef against the ladies in plot. I’m not gonna sugar coat it, people have gotten it into their heads that girls being roleplayed tend to be shallow, vapid characters designed just for romance. So it can be hard to egt people interested because of stereotypes. The worst part is, I see this stereotype most often from male writers playing women, who have no idea hoiw to treat them as a person, and have instead made them a cardboard cut out designed to reach their goals. This is even worse on adult websites where smut is an option, ladies get the short stick SO often because of years where female characters have been treated as a plot device.

This goes way back to the idea of a sexy lamp: If your female character can be replaced with a sexy lamp, they aren’t expanded enough on. They aren’t a person. Some of the strongest female characters have been, say, Ripley from Alien. Why? She was a male character in the script, they just didn’t change anything but her gender and rolled with it. Which, duh, worked because women is people. A wild concept for some reason. Can you tell this is something that gets my goat, because baaaa, motherfucker, baaaa.

That means you end up working against a lot of shit to just try and play around and have fun. It can be exhausting, and more than once I’ve seen people give up. Don’t, though. People need to hear your voice. If you’re in a position where things are hard, remember. Trying the same things over and over expecting it to change is just silly. You need to change parts of your approach, whether it be the environment, the people, or simply how you word things. Push back on what’s making you feel bad, and put down boundaries. “If I do this, I would appreciate if you gave back with this.” Ask for space, you deserve space to explore what makes you happy. Say no more often to things you’re not comfortable with. You don’t have any obligation to fit a mold for another person.

Find your comfort zone, and defend it. If that means moving onto a new group of people, or just doing something extraordinary with what you have, or finding a new way to approach stuff, then maybe that’s what you need to do! Spread your wings, and find what makes you happy. Don’t look for advice on how to tamp yourself down into what you feel like you should be doing, if it’s not right for you. Good luck, and Happy RPing!

#RPedia #roleplay #roleplay help #roleplaying tips #rph #anonymous #Ask Rpedia #gender dysphoria #misogyny #OC hate #Big topics for a little question #I know #Especially when the advice boils down to #don't do thing if hurt #do other thing #with new people if needed

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