#and batman will just beat the shit out of them

[syresdcthings]

People ashamed of shipping brutal Batjokes... dont be. Its amazing.

I just decided to rebinge some comics and holy shit. I never processed just how fucked up Joker was in his early days, and he was still working out all his kinks. He wasn't making these big flashy plans to get Batmans attention, no, this was when he was truly killing for the purpose of wanting to.

Brave and the bold (2023) is a good example for what I'm trying to show here. The shit Joker does in that is crazy and it goes in DETAIL.

I mean he beats the living crap out of Batman, since he's also figuring out his own act at this point. Everyone is clearly petrified of this guy and Batman should just wanna throw him into a dingy cell to suffer for the crap he did. But he doesn't want to! Instead, he finds himself trying to find that high from the altercation at the bridge again, the one where he was trembling in his armour and death was staring right at him.

Joker didn't fall inlove first. Batman did.

Bruce doesn't just want Joker to suffer, he wants to suffer with him. He wants them to fight, to roll around on cold wet concrete and claw at eachother until they are both red and it'll be the most intimate thing Batman has experienced. Being smothered with someone else's blood, a body underneath him, breath just as laboured as his own.

And he'd lean down, probably. Checking his heartbeat, as if he couldn't see he was alive from the way his pupils grew 10 sizes. And then he'd relax his muscles, but it'd be such a little change you wouldn't be able to tell, but Joker would. And he'd push the Bat off of him, and he'd run away, and it'd start all over again.

Edit: just wanted to say that the, "Being smothered with someone elses blood, body underneath him, breath just as laboured as his own." Segment was supposed to be read like "Being drenched in the blood of a body underneath me that is still alive and breathing just as hard as i am." As in, Batman takes pleasure in being able to beat Joker raw but have his heart still beating underneath him. He loves getting him specifically to the brink of death whilst still not losing sleep over it (unless ofcourse he finds a bit TOO much pleasure in it.)

#dc #batman #joker #bruce wayne #batjokes #Crazy... #something about them #sorry for so much batjokes posting i cant help it #they deserve all my love #everytime a person feels ashamed shipping batjokes #a fairy loses its wings

[nyhti]

Awww, that’s so cute <33 Bruce teaching him martial arts.

Action Comics #318

#clark kent #i wonder if bruce taught him judo specifically for when clark would have to go back to lexor again #and honestly this story #if it had been bruce in clark's place this story would've been over in 2 panels #because he would've had the common sense to DISGUISE HIMSELF WHEN LANDING ON A PLANET THAT CONSIDERS HIM A CRIMINAL #like none of this would've even happened had it been bruce #but it was funny to watch clark be kinda dumb have to rely on straight up just luck to not end up dead #i really like the idea of clark kinda sucking without his powers #i think it's a good flaw to give him #i like to think villains rather get busted by superman than batman #because superman will have to handle them so fucking gently #like he'll hold them like newborn kittens because if he gets even just a little rought he'll accidentaly kill them #and batman will just beat the shit out of them #like before lex has ever fought batman #he'd laught at joker like 'lmao you got beat by just some human? just some guy? no superpowers?' #and then he gets punched by batman one time #and never wants to step foot into gotham ever again #like 'no thanks i'd rather keep trying to kill this alien with near god like powers than go anywhere near that one emo furry'

[irregularjohnnywiggins]

Just feel like posting this picture of Oliver realising his perception is being fucked with by a mind controller because he should not be able to beat any single member of his family that easily. No other reason to post this, don't think too hard about it.

#oliver queen #green arrow #please note this is not a GA is better than Batman post #Oliver Queen and Bruce Wayne should be equally convinced that their family could beat the shit out of them #sorry I haven't actually been reading the comic #I've just seen a whole load of shitheads on Twitter going 'But He'S bAtMaN!' when Cass Cain fans point out that she can dodge bullets #so... that's been irritating

[martyrbat]

vicki vale's secret! — batman #73

(ID in alt!)

#thinking of vicki trying to set bruce up to reveal hes batman by endangering him and his child's life and bruce just #‘aw shucks honeypie its no fret — just stay as sweet as you are :)’ #literally transcribed an entire backstory to point out how down bad he is and his awful luck in his romantic life #bruce's dating disasters #some highlights also includes bruce ‘i know what youre fucking thinking — save it’ to dick when revealed his kinda girlfriend set them up #vicki being a little shit #bruce being an ever bigger shit and being obnoxious with his lesson of vigilance #them stealing the giant key #dick fucking beating the shit out of someone with a slightly smaller key #again bruce being so delusional about hey?? thats not a normal thing for your fucking girlfriend to do??? #great little story 15/10 #c: batman | i: 73 #crypt's panels #posts from the crypt #transcrypts #batman #bruce wayne #dick grayson #robin i #vicki vale

[cakemoney]

thinking about the whole robpat!batman movie’s thesis being “shit. fuck. turns out this whole time the legacy of my rage and vengeance-fueled vigilante justice has been enabling domestic terrorism by entitled white men. all along what this city needed and what i needed was healing and extending our hands to our neighbors instead of continuing the cycle of trauma and violence” like the movie put their whole chest into that. it looked at their audience and said to their face “you guys never actually understood what batman is about. you saw the dark brooding aesthetic and the toxic masculinity and the individualistic lonewolfism and you see that as something to aspire to, when the point of batman was always Corruption And Evil Exists Within Those With Power And Money Not In Mental Illness, and by missing that and making it all about yourself you became the villain of this story.” in theaters right in front of batman stans. no wonder robpat was cast for this like i’ve never seen someone pull off self-loathing white man so naturally

#laughs awkwardly #sorry i watched black adam recently (long story) and like. i can't help but feel like the subversive parts of it #just weren't as strong as how it felt to watch a batman movie where batman had to beat the crap of his own fans #like [SPOILERS] black adam wanted to be self-aware about superhero films and wanted to point out the american propaganda #inherent to the concept of 'international justice' but because it was primarily pulled off through funny quips it felt like it didn't COMMIT #(felt very marvel in that respect actually) #like yes your main character told off the western superheroes for the hypocrisy of their 'peace' efforts but then... what? #in the end the westerners were still the genuine and helpful people they claimed they were. the main characters had to trust them to survive #in the end the self-actualization of an oppressed people felt hollow because we barely spent any time with them during the story #in the end the people's chosen hero turned out to be not who they thought he was and his character turning point to become a hero was... #he magically knew to break out of an underwater prison? honestly that part was a little confusing to me but extremely horrifying #like this guy basically explicitly said 'you should kill me. that's what i want' AND THEY JUST DID NOT DO THAT #like obviously i know he needed to come back since the movie was about him but like. damn. way to not at all respect his autonomy #he said 'i should die' and they went 'haha but instead we're gonna put you in storage forever so you never reunite with your family in death #HORROR. THE MOST DYSTOPIAN SHIT I'VE EVER SEEN. YOUR BODY IS NOT YOUR OWN IN CASE WE FIND IT USEFUL LATER #WE'RE SO PEACEFUL THAT WE CAN NEVER ACCEPT [GASP] MURDER BUT ANY OTHER VIOLATION OF YOUR CONSENT IS FINE #HOW WAS THIS BRUSHED OVER SO CASUALLY #WHAT WAS I TALKING ABOUT BEFORE #yeah you know what i don't really know where i was going with this either. i just had Thoughts #like did i think the rob!patman the movie took itself so seriously it was accidentally kind of comedic? yeah for sure #but because they took it seriously it felt like the element of metacommentary was sincere. like i can also take it seriously #i keep thinking about that scene where rpatz was interrogating the riddler and the horror that dawns on him #because he's looking at this man who idolizes batman but despises bruce wayne and realizes Oh God That's Me. This Is What I Created #like shit dude i don't think superhero films necessarily should or must be Deep in an Artistic way but i can give them props for trying?

[appsa]

Superhero movies are only good when theyre silly and for kids like thats the only time it feels heartfelt 😔

#like ok i liked red hood movie too like #1. the satisfaction of watching jason todd beat the shit out of joker is unmatched #2. that scene when jason confronts batman and is like im not mad u didnt save im mad u let this guy keep hurting ppl after #and 3. batman being such a dad and failing any and all expectations sjdvdjdjhfkfjf #i think i just hated that it deals w such tragic characters but neverrr lets them emote and also i hate the art style #like god let batman at least look sad that his son is like this u assholes 😭😭😭 thats his SON 😭😭😭 #i watched death in the family monologue over the events of under the red hood and it was just like #OK!!! WHERE WAS ALL THIS EMOTION IN THE MOVIE?????? #whatever!!! #ugh. #sorry i have opinions #also i hate that they never let jason say 'im making sure victims feel safe the way i never could' ever it makes me so sad jsgdjfkf #ok im good. sorry. #thinking abt utrh makes me sick in the head #anyway. there should be more cute mean robin damian with his bestie. #cannot believe im going to be forced to read comics #also going to be honest utrh does not have Women and that easily makes it less interesting than the super sons movie #just saying. lois lane was fun

[deadsetobsessions]

Danny Fenton is so damn sick of rich fruit loops. It’s worse now, since he’s one of them.

It’s not Vlad that he’s with, thank the Ancients, but Danny isn’t sure that this is better.

Because he’s Timothy Drake, a baby, and he’s been reincarnated after the Ancient of Reincarnation accidentally drank too much wine.

He’s going to kick their ass so hard when he gets back.

Danny huffs. He rolls over, ignoring the silent manor. Sure, he’s read the comics. Sure, he laughed and imagined being adopted by Batman- come on, Danny had black hair and blue eyes even back then, he was totally adoption bait- when his parents gave him reason to lose trust in their love. But that’s it, that’s all he thought it was. A day dream, a wish for a universe that didn’t exist.

Danny hadn’t understood the reality of the whole Infinite Realms thing, a place he was now the King of. Batman? Real. Danny? Reincarnated. Hotel? Trivago.

Like, this wasn’t what he meant, dammit.

And now he’s stuck as Timothy Drake, and Ancients, he was starting to see parallels.

——

Danny tried photography. He really did. He wanted to at least stick to the source material. But that’s not who he is. Even with the shiny new brain that memorized, catalogued, and put together clues at the snap of his fingers, but Danny’s never been one to take photos. It’s a respectable art, for sure, but Danny preferred to live in the moment instead of capturing it to remember forever. It’s just-

He watched the Graysons fall. He watched Dick Grayson turn into Robin. And Danny can’t and won’t ever betray his Obsession like that, ever again. He can’t let Jason die for his “story” to begin. That’s not how Danny works.

He’s there to protect.

Danny hasn’t ever been just Tim. Danny was also Tim and the Ghost King without a haunt. But now? Gotham is his haunt. He, in lieu of an actual city spirit, is Gotham. He’s also a Drake. And Drakes were meant to hoard.

Batman and Robin? They are his.

He claimed them, as a Drake. But that claim is weak. So he claimed them as their city, and that is a claim that will never be able to be challenged.

Danny’ll be damned before he allows some lanky starved clown beat the life out of one of his Robins. So, for the first time in his nine years on this planet, Tim-Danny goes ghost and flies.

“Who- who. Are you?” Robin slurred from his place in Danny’s hold. He is broken, yes. But not dead. Danny infuses some of his vitality, his ecto, into Jason’s injuries to help them heal.

“Gotham.” Danny replied, layering his ghostly voice with those of the city.

“Goth’m?”

“Gotham. Sleep, little bird. Your city has got you.”

When Robin, Jason, settled with a sense of trust that tugs at Danny’s core, Danny carried him to Batman, whose eyes were wild and manic. He glared menacingly at the green and white ghost in front of him, who was holding his broken and beaten son-

Well, it’d be menacing if Danny hadn’t watched him eat bricks and mortar, crashing into a building while using his grappling gun.

“You-”

“I am Gotham.” Danny cut him off. Despite his wary nature and natural paranoia, Batman settled at his city’s gaze rested on him. Danny knew that Batman recognized his city. Batman’s head bowed, but his eyes stayed on Robin. “You were supposed to take care of Robin.”

“I- I know.” And that voice was all Bruce Wayne the Dad instead of Batman the Vigilante. Danny gently placed Robin in Batman’s arms, taking in the tremors as he held his son close.

“Go back, Bruce. And make sure Jason knows how much you love him.”

He laughed as Bruce whipped his head upwards. “I am your city. You are mine as much as I am yours. I’ve known of you before you were born.”

Technically? Not untrue. But Bruce will chalk it up to weird magic shit. It’s not like it’s a secret that Gotham’s kind of curse. Besides, this way, Danny will be able to help out more often. And Bruce won’t be able to connect Tim Drake to the “Spirit of Gotham.”

“Return, my knight. This is not your city. I can not protect you as well as I can in Gotham.”

“Thank you… Gotham.”

Danny sighed. He wondered when he’ll have to field questions from a John Constantine. He’s pretty sure Bruce will call in magical help, even if it was his own city he was investigating.

Batman’s lucky Danny liked him enough to allow it.

#Danny is Gotham #danny phantom #Jason Todd #Jason Todd as Robin #joker is about to get haunted #bruce wayne #Gotham’s knight #batman #bamf danny phantom #ghost king danny #dc x dp #Danny is Tim Drake #he’s like nine #Jason Todd lives #joker? probably not #the bats: hmmm suspicious #also the bats: Gotham loves me! I’m doing the right thing! #dp x dc

[dragonfly0808]

So my Batfamily brain rot is back (not that it ever really left) and I just had a thought like…

If you’re a henchman/criminal in Gotham, seeing your life flash past your eyes is gonna be a somewhat regular occurance but… what if like… the thing that truly made a henchman’s heart fall to his ass was when they hit Robin just a little too hard and this 10 year old kid just starts crying and goes ‘Daaaaaadddd!’

That’s the moment when they truly think they’re going to die because said dad, the kid is calling for is a 6’6 demon from hell who’s all muscle and shadows and vengance and a lot of Gotham still thinks he’s a cryptid

The henchmen all drop their guns and try to calm the kid down but it’s over in 5 seconds flat. Batman breaks several bones before speaking to Robin in the softest voice they’ve ever heard him use and the criminal world, who was already a bit hesitant to fight a kid have even more reason to take it just a little easy on Robin.

And like, I can picture different reactions with every Robin.

Like, for Dick, he’s ten and we all know he was the most violent Robin second only to Damian so maybe when he’s ten or eleven and has calmed down a little, a henchback who still remembers what a little shit he used to be decides to get back at Robin, slips on a pair of brass knuckles and BAM

And then, little Dick just stares for a moment in shock, cheek already starting to bruise, the criminals he’d been fighting all stay still because it was a nasty punch and then…

“Daaaaad!!!” He cries out in a whiny voice that reminds them that Robin really is just a kid and it all clicks into place.

Even Bruce wasn’t expecting that, Dick has just started calling him dad and he still isn’t used to being called that so to hear his kid calling for him in the moment where he is startled and hurt and a little scared… the henchmen don’t even have time to react and they wake up in the hospital with concussions and maybe a few broken bones.

It doesn’t take Dick long to calm down, it was mostly that the hit from a random henchmen really startled him and got him right in the cheekbone. But Bruce still finishes patrol early and Dick still hides under Bruce’s cape all the way to the Batmobile.

Then comes Jason and Jason was such a sweet kid, I headcannon he was the one that called Bruce dad the most often while being Robin. So one night during patrol maybe he finds himself fighting Penguin or Two-Face and it’s been a long night and he has an exam the following day and Bruce is fighting another villain at the other side of the warehouse

The point is, the henchmen and Two-Face start landing hits on eleven year old Jason in his gut and at some point he loses sight of Batman fighting on the other side of the room. Jason gets scared because he’s never really fought without Batman and while he knows that Bruce is still in the warehouse, he can’t see him and the handle of a gun hits the back of his ankle and he falls and he sees Two-Face or Penguin or one of the henchmen getting ready to grab the front of his uniform and beat him up and…

“Daaaaddd!”

The criminals freeze for a moment. They’ve heard the stories of what happened the last time a Robin called scared for dad.

They’re fucked.

They all drop their guns and try to get Jason to calm down, but he’s crying just a little bit and calls again, his voice breaking and despite having been at the other side of the warehouse just a second ago, Bruce somehow drops from the ceiling and it’s over before the criminals can keep pleading with Robin to calm down.

Jason tries to apologize for ‘acting like a baby’ but Bruce is having none of it and carries him back to the Batmobile and Jason is happy to just hide his face in Bruce’s cape because he knows his dad will always be there to save him.

Then comes Tim.

And Tim gets found out while doing reconnisance and somehow he finds himself face to face with Bane who manages to wrench away his bo staff and Tim is just eleven and he is scared because Bane doesn’t look like he’s going to hold back

All Tim knows is that the crack he hears must surely be his ribs either cracking or breaking and he can’t breath and he can only muster enough air for a single word… and he calls for his dad through tears and fear

And at this point… at this point Batman has already lost a Robin, Tim may not be his legally but he is his son just as much as Jason was

Bane spends a month in the ICU

Tim is embarrased that he reacted like that. He thinks it makes him less of a Robin to called scared for Batman… for dad.

So Bruce tells him of the other two times it happened. It’s one of the first times he’s spoken about Jason to Tim so bluntly.

Then comes Stephanie.

Stephanie never calls Bruce dad when she’s Robin. She’s not his daughter and he’s not her dad. They’re not sure what exactly they are to one another.

As far as Bruce knows, Stephanie’s version of Robin never called out to him when she was scared.

What he doesn’t know is that it did happen. Just once

It was the last time she was Robin. When Black Mask had her and she thought she was going to die

At some point while bleeding and feeling nauseous and so scared she could barely hear anything that wasn’t her own heart beating wildly against her chest… she called for dad. Not for Arthur Brown, but for Bruce

Black Mask laughed at her

Stephanie never tells Bruce

And finally… Damian

Now, we know Damian would probably never be startled enough to call for Bruce out of instinct, so I can see 2 scenarios in which this could happen.

First, he sees another kid do it. He sees a kid close to his own age laughing and playing, then tripping and staying quiet for a split second before crying out for mom and dad and he just… assumes that’s something kids do when scared and hurt and startled and does it mostly in an attempt to be a little more ‘normal’

Or, my favorite scenario… he hears of the other times it has happened. He overhears maybe Dick remind Jason of what Bruce did when Jason called out to dad as Robin. Tim maybe jokes that a Robin calling for dad is still the villains’ greatest fear

So Damian stores that knowledge away as a battle strategy just in case he ever needs it… and maybe a small part of him wants to put it to the test, to see if his father would protect him as brutally as he’s protected the Robins before him

So some random night during patrol, he’s up against several henchmen, a few of them grab him from behind, trying to hold him down. Damian is fighting against them when one of them swings a cylinder of metal that Damian thinks might’ve been meant for the plumbing and…

The henchman breaks Damian’s nose, there’s blood dripping down his chin and staining his uniform

Now… it is most certainly not the first time he’s broken something, he’s more than used to the pain, in fact, he barely feels it. However, it gives him a chance to put his little theory to the test

And so Damian allows himself to sound like the ten year old that he is and in a whiny, teary voice, goes… “Babaaaaa!” (Bonus points if it’s the first or second time he’s called Bruce baba instead of father)

What Damian didn’t take into account though, is that Batman and Robin aren’t the only ones on patrol that night. They made a big bust. The biggest part of the operation was over but they were still fighting a few stragglers. The whole fucking family is here.

And they all hear his cry.

Damian doesn’t think he’s ever seen a fight end so quickly. The henchmen only have a split-second of surprise before vanishing, being tackled or shot or having knives buried on their shoulders by his siblings.

The one that actually broke Damian’s nose is being beaten up by Nightwing, Damian doesn’t think he’s ever seen Grayson so angry.

A shadow kneels in front of him, father. Baba. He’s checking Damian and Todd is right at his side, both speaking in hushed tones, checking his injuries and wiping the tears that usually came with a broken nose.

And now… Damian is used to his father and Grayson treating him like a child, trying to be as soft as they can with him. Even Cain does it to some extent.

But… having Drake wrap an arm around him, calling him baby when knocking out one of the criminals that had hurt him ‘that’s my fucking baby brother!’ and continue to hold him later into the night on the couch, having Brown willingly give up all the snacks she keeps in her utility belt and promise to take him to Batburger the following day for milkshakes because he was ‘a champ’. And Thomas wraps his favorite blanket around Damian while they’re fixing him up.

Todd decides to stay the night at the manor. Which he never does. They all decide to spend the night at the manor when Damian still sniffles on the Batmobile and they have breakfast all of them together. Which Damian isn’t sure has ever happened before and Cain gets Alfred to make pancakes with chocolate chips instead of blueberries.

They call him baby in hushed whispers but for once, it doesn’t bother him even though it really should

But most of all, Bruce refuses to let him go for a good five minutes after he first cries for him. Smoothing down his hair and whispering that it’ll be okay and just being soft in a way Damian has never seen before.

He sleeps between his Baba and Grayson and he knows that Todd and Drake and Cain check in on them at least twice in the night for some reason.

And he realizes it’s… it’s nice. Maybe this really could be an effective battle strategy to be employed again someday.

#batman #batfam #batfamily #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #duke thomas #damian wayne #bruce wayne #batfamily headcanons #batkids #Robins

[evilminji]

You know what Damian deserves?

A Grand Chunibyo Epic Drama Romance of his very own. Something to REALLY make his parents wince and take a good, long look in the mirror. Because... YEP. Yep that's definitely Their Son all right.

They suddenly feel like they should apologize to several long suffering individuals.

Just?

Damian needs to meet a Fellow Dramatic, Too Serious, Feral Gremlin, "I AM The Heir Apparent! My Blood Is Mighty And My Heritage Noble!" Little NERD? Someone who matchs him, beat for beat, with all the flamboyant Stabby Drama and rooftop dramatic chase scenes of his parents but now?

With Ghost Powers!

Because she is a PRINCESS. In search of someone Worthy(tm) of her Hand(tm). Not because her DAD told her too, obviously, no no. She overheard some of the Ancients talking about how that's how THEY got married. And knows that princesses usually get spouses chosen for them. So SHES gonna chose!

Perfect plan.

And who BETTER? Then the Blood Son of... THE BAT*dramatic musical sting*! Prove yourself, Robin! *lunges with a blade!*

Obviously, love at first dramaticly back-lit monologs followed by sword fight and dramatic escape. She's a formidable opponent.

But? Who IS she? This dramatic Chunibyo WEEB of a child? She! Is Danny's SECOND Clone Daughter. It was discovered? The only way to truely, PERMANENTLY, stabilize Dani? Was to get cells from a stable Clone.

Meaning one that WASNT rapidly aged.

Danny was... conflicted. He was against creating a kid JUST for giving medical aid to his other kid. But? He WASN'T so against the idea of having a kid? Like... a baby. Doing Dad Stuff. Cause... cause he wasn't 14 anymore. He's just graduated college. Has a stable job.

Dani suggested they go for it. But only if they were sure it wouldn't hurt the kiddo.

And it didnt!

She was and is PERFECT. The light of their lives. A delightfully ghost raised little Stabby Feral Honey Badger Gremlin of a young lady! But she's ALSO? Missing! And Danny, king of the Infinte Realms, is Losing His SHIT.

WHERE IS HIS BABY!?

Dramaticly martial arts fighting in the rain, DUH dad! She has to defeat the boy she likes, drop a symbolic gift at his feet, then leave with a cryptic but Cool And Meaningful Statement! You wouldn't GET IT, you're so OLD!

Dick blames Bruce for this. You see this? Do you Bruce? This is YOUR genetics at play! You added AL GHUL DRAMA to your nonsense and now he's discovered dating!! Look at him! He's pining! Dramaticly training in early hours! He's gotten JON involved!

Just? Let JLA Dark have FUN for once. Let them see THE princess of basicly EVERYTHING... harrasing Batman... by trying to date his obviously willing son... and just go "Read at 12:37" sorry Bruce! Looks like they're out of the office! Doing.... uuuuh.... MAGIC STUFF *sounds of popcorn being popped* YEP! Maaaagic! He he he >:D

@lolottes @ailithnight @nerdpoe @hdgnj @hypewinter @mutable-manifestation

#dpxdc #dp x dc #dc x dp #dcxdp #dc x dp prompt #danny phantom

[ew-selfish-art]

DPxDC AU: Ellie was going to beat the shit out of this space cop if he was lying…she might just do it anyway but, like, fr she’ll throw down on Danny’s behalf.

Enter scene following a bad tandem clone + identity reveal where in Danny is captured and wounded, Ellie escaping just narrowly. She manages to get Sam and Tucker on her side and together the three of them save Danny. (Where was Jazz? Why couldn’t she find Jazz?)

Ellie has traveled all over the world, has seen its hospitality just as much as its hostility- besides Danny liked space right? Mostly, Ellie is panicking and, being unable to think of a place to take Danny while he’s bleeding out on her, she just goes… up. Out of the atmosphere and just beyond the satellites. It finally feels far enough away, tho she didn’t take them beyond the moon, she has limits to her paranoia thank you.

Imagine to her annoyance that apparently someone actually watches for biological materials leaving and re-entering the earth! Total Bullshit! She’s needed to make a number of trips back and forth to get Danny food and water and medical supplies- and she’s doing a damn good job of getting him stable. Too bad she hadn’t realized the ring guy following her sooner.

Turns out he’s “made a report” and “will find them justice” and “wants to help”. Yeah right. She throws down with him as best she can, and he clearly doesn’t want to hurt her so he keeps letting her get away with Danny in tow. Danny is sleeping through most of this but a few times he lets out a woop or a go get ‘em.

Eventually Hal calls the only person on the team with a single paternal bone in his body (even if it was only a single one most days). Pulling Batman into a spacesuit, into a ship and across the atmosphere shouldn’t have been that easy- though it was obvious how his agreement came immediately after Hal mentioned the wounded and entirely isolated twins he’d found.

#dcxdp #dpxdc #dc x dp #dp x dc #danny phantom #dc crossover #dp crossover #danielle #plz continue #I beg #by the time danny is recovered/comes to Ellie has fought all of his alien hero idols and he dies a second time #Ellie: if the green guy didn’t want to get punched he should’ve stayed in his own mind #Danny: el. that’s Martian man Hunter. el please say you didn’t #ellie regrets nothing and now Danny’s new coworkers all know where they stand #mixed results for bat adoption lmao #gl might even adopt tbh just to keep a better eye on her the guy seems chill #oh wait the male twin is over powered and has zero chill wait fuck batman give that one back

[incorrectbatfam]

If the batfam had tiktok what would they post? What would go the most viral?

Dick does duets where he remixes people who have bad takes. His most viewed one is turning Lex Luthor's corporate monologue into a dubstep track with beat drops every time Superman is mentioned. Equally popular is his mashup of Bruce's yawning with a Sam Smith song.

Jason makes cooking videos. The recipes are normal, but the voiceovers like, "today I'm making a realistic animal-themed vegan bento box 'cause I wanna torment my brother." His most popular video is of him shit-talking Batman while making a pot roast, but it gets deleted because he didn't say "unalive."

Tim does behind-the-scenes videos of his photoshoots where he makes it seem like a complex process with dimmed lights and glitter falling from a ceiling fan, then it cuts to a blurry iPhone pic of a pissed-off Jason with sparkly hair chasing him down a dark hallway.

Damian's is a mix of animal videos, art tutorials, Cheese Viking speedruns, and classical covers of anime intros. But his most popular one is recording his family's reaction to him saying the fuck-word for the first time. He also has a series where he asks people how babies are made to see whose response TikTok takes down first.

Duke posts subtle and wholesome pranks, like leaving Tooth Fairy money under the older batkids' pillows or gradually filling Kate's purse with Jolly Ranchers. His most popular series is when he slowly replaced Damian's furniture with increasingly smaller replicas until the 8th day when Damian finally notices.

Steph does a little bit of everything and often takes suggestions (re: dumb dares) from the comments. Her account started with her just sharing her favorite memes, but her most popular video is when she slept in a bathtub full of Mardi Gras necklaces after an audience poll.

Cass normally posts a mix of dance covers and sign language lessons, but occasionally there will be moments from her daily life that she captures at the right time. Her most viral video is at the grocery store when someone accidentally knocks a coconut onto the ground and she follows it as it rolls to the other end of the store.

Harper and Cullen do a lot of backyard science experiments where they take hypotheses from comments and test them out, like if they can cook steak with firecrackers or make a trampoline out of rubber bands. Their biggest project was turning an abandoned pool into a frog sanctuary.

Barbara keeps most of her daily videos private and her public ones are mainly book hauls, song recs, and computer tips. Her most popular video, even making news articles, is a video where she breaks down how planned obsolesce works and calling out big tech companies.

Bruce has a secret account that no one knows about. He doesn't post anything. He just lurks because he wants to be the first like and comment whenever his kids post.

#dick grayson #nightwing #jason todd #red hood #tim drake #red robin #damian wayne #robin #duke thomas #signal #stephanie brown #spoiler #cassandra cain #orphan #bluebird #cullen row #barbara gordon #oracle #harper row #bruce wayne #batman #batfamily #batfam #batboys #batbros #batgirls #batkids #batsiblings #batman family #dc comics

[bruciemilf]

It’s been exactly fifteen years, two days, 4 minutes, and 33.5 seconds since the Wayne murder. Bruce can feel time crawling under his skin, like filth under fingernail, like it’s a breathing, screaming thing.

It’s an endless, infinite supply. And yet, he feels like he’s running out of it.

The details are carved deep; Alfred’s cologne lingering on both his mother’s Stefano Cabbana fur coat, Snow White and fluffy, and his father’s sharp-looking leather jacket.

The gunsmoke. The pearls bleeding on the pavement.

“Your mother wore Armani, actually.”

The Waynes are known to cheat Death, but this is getting ridiculous.

“You’re not here.”

The Riddler, — Edward. His name is Edward Nashton, 29-years-old, forsenic accountant, Bruce’s former classmate at Gotham University.

He’s just a man, not a monster, — gasps, wide eyes confused, “Who are you talking to?”

Thomas watches Bruce’s, — Batman’s hands tighten around the swamp green jacket with mildly tamed amusement. Almost like Bruce is an infant again, shaking on his first steps.

“Pretty sure I am, chum. Also, you might wanna move Eddie here to a coffee table. That shit looks sturdy. YOU were made on one, I think,—“

He cringes, but does as he’s told. Edward’s coffee screeches when Batman slams him across it like loose change, “I’d rather not think about that.”

“Honey, it’s a very romantic story, and I resent Alfred for not talking to you about it. Now go grab a drill and some duct tape. Oh, don’t make that face, — His adrenaline levels are higher than a fucking drop head.”

Bruce doesn’t want to do it. Something just compels him to. Thomas scoffs but Bruce is too focused on the drill biting through bone to notice. Edward doesn’t feel any pain. He’s just under the illusion of it, which seems much crueler.

“You would’ve KNOWN that if you stayed in school. “

“Why are you here?”

“Now that,” His father’s smile is a serpentine, alluring and full thoothed and stained with Maverick cigarettes. His hair is slicked, crowned by red lensed sunglasses.

He looked for a dead man. “Is a smart guy question.”

—

He doesn’t sleep. He can’t.

“Your father was a hundred different things, “ Alfred sighs at him, stitching up his wounds in a tight, secure pattern. Thomas’. The ghost of the hour. “And I never understood any of them.”

Bruce is about to ask more, expand a stream of curiosity, when footsteps bang against the cave’s massive interior.

He knows each child by foot, by volume, by rhythm.

He’d know Jason dead or alive.

He’s about to greet him, choosing to ignore his father’s ghost flirting with an unsuspecting Alfred, when his baby bird beats him to it.

“Why the fuck is your dead mom following me?”

#girls after they watch fight club: #Thomas is supposed to be revenge and Martha is supposed to be redemption btw!!! #love that for them. smiley face #bruce wayne #dc #dc comics #text #batman #text post #thomas wayne #battinson #writing #ficlet #jason todd #batdad #batfamily

[aethertetsuya]

DP x DC Idea 💡 🤡

Danny is held hostage by Joker. Contrary to popular belief, he doesn't have anything against clowns. He's just more guarded against them. Anyway, he was on Kingly duties. He needs the Joker dead. To bring justice to those whose lives he claimed.

As the Joker was monologing, he escaped his bindings and dives for the Joker only claw something out of him.

Danny split the Joker into two. The normal sane Jack Napier and the Madman Joker. See, the "Vat of acid" he got dropped into was actually a Vat of Lazarus Water. Thus pit madness.

The Batclan who was watching this unfold was shocked.

Batman: You cant kill the Joker.

Danny: Well according to the Anti Ecto acts I actually can. *Proceeds to tell yhem what the law states* BTW most of you fall under their ecto entity classification especially Red Hood.

Batman: *Blue screens*

Danny: Hey RH wanna beat this guy for Shit and Giggles. He cant die so you can have all the fun you want. I still need him for trial though.

Redhood: Thanks. I'm going to enjoy this.

#dp x dc #dc x dp #danny fenton #danny phantom #batman #bruce wayne #jason todd

[wondersinwaynemanor]

that time when Jason and Damian worked together in "spoiling" Tim to make up for the "murder attempts" they did to their sleep-deprived brother.

Tim wakes up from his room: What the fu- I don't remember how I got here.

Tim sees Jason and Damian casually reading by the corner of his room.

Tim: What are you two doing in my room???

Damian: Drake's up. Told you he's alive.

Jason: Oh, thank fuck. I thought you died.

Tim: What are you guys...

Tim recalls a few events from last night.

Tim: What did you put in my coffee, Jason????

Jason: Not my formula. It's the brat's.

Damian crosses his arms, looking like a mini Bruce: I believe we deserve a thank you, Drake. Tt.

Tim: A thank you for drugging me???

Jason: You aren't sleeping, Timmy. And you're just as stubborn like the rest of this family, so it was the best option.

Damian: Agreed.

Tim groans: I knew I had a bad feeling. No one is fucking touching my coffee ever again!!!

as soon as Tim stands up from the bed, both Jason and Damian immediately goes to either side of him, holding both of his arms.

Tim: Um... What are you guys doing?

Jason: Making sure you're alright.

Damian: We're merely guiding you.

Tim: Guiding me to the bathroom? I don't recall getting injured from last night. Unless you also added a another formula for that.

Jason opens the door of the bathroom while Damian's tiny arm is around Tim's waist.

by the time Tim is done freshening up for the morning, Damian is still in his room.

Tim: Dami, honestly, what's going on-

Damian: It's the hour for breakfast, Drake. Come now.

Tim: But I'm not hungry-

Damian: No buts. *he goes behind Tim and pushes him towards the door*

Damian is pulling Tim's arm until they arrive at the kitchen.

Jason is wearing an apron and putting food on the table.

Tim smiles: Jay, you're cooking for everyone? That's actually nice of you.

Jason: For everyone? Nah, only for you, Timbers.

Damian: Sit, Drake. *he pats the seat beside the one he's sitting on*

Tim complies: So, when am I going to hear the joke? Dick, come out now! We get it, we're bonding. Bruce, you on this too? I know this is what you want!

Jason and Damian look at each other.

Jason: What the fuck are you talking about, Tim?

Damian: Don't be silly, Drake. Now let's eat.

Tim starts to eat: You should know you are both creeping me out. But this is great. Thank you, Jay.

Jason shrugs as he's eating too: It's nothing.

Dick and Bruce peer from the entrance of the kitchen.

Dick has a wide smile on his face: I didn't think they were gonna go through with this. Although, the sleeping antidote...

Bruce: Was over the top.

Dick: I mean, Timmy isn't good at the sleeping category, B. So, how long do you think they're gonna do this?

Bruce smiles lightly: They're both full of determination. It's hard knowing.

Later at night before patrol.

Tim screams from the changing rooms: JAY!!! DAMI!! I CAN'T CHANGE WITH YOU GUYS AROUND!!! ENOUGH OF THIS!!!

Nightwing and Batman already on their suits by the batcomputer.

Batman: You lost, Chum.

Nightwing: Aw man. Guess I underestimated my brothers. But I do admit, it's nice seeing them working it out.

Batman smiles lightly: It is.

and good luck to the criminals who would come across Red Robin tonight, thinking they can hurt him cus Red Hood and Robin are going to beat the shit out of them. together.

#this was so fun to write??? #just silly fun between brothers it's normal #dc incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #batfamily incorrect quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #batfamily #batdad #batbros #big brother jason todd #small brother damian wayne #give tim some break pls?? #batman #tim drake #jason todd #damian wayne #dick grayson #bruce wayne #dc universe

[shoebillstork]

Mutual 1: (An extremely extensive post detailing their trauma on their secret blog)

Mutual 1: (A picture of the soup they finished making) Eeatting penis soup grab a bowl

Mutual 2: (Cropped batman yaoi) This scene was so compelling in the comics qnd established so much for Bruce Waynes character as a bottom

Mutual 3: Just updated my comic (it is one of the most compelling pieces of narrative youve ever read. Its based off of a bad game)

Mutual 4: Ngl this omegaverse gacha life youtube video is more compelling than most shows i watch

Mutual 5: Finally cocking out i swear if one more thing happens today i will snap

Mutual 6: PENIS TYPO

Mutual 7: PENIS TYPO

Mutual 8: PENIS TYPO

Mutual 9: This yak tranquilizer weak af

Mutual 10: Come make my sinister potion (posts how to make a pipebomb)

Mutual 11: Do i get plastic surgery and change my name and move to a different country y/n (poll is in favor of yes by a huge margin)

Mutual 12: Mutual 13 is a lying fucking piece of trash and i think they should drop dead. They live at 308 Negra Aroya Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104 and im going to record me beating the shit out of them

Mutual 13: Aww my bestie is coming to visit me soon :]

(Mutual 12 and 13 are dating)

Mutual 14: who tf does she think she is (posts a sc of mutual 8 from three url changes ago. It is mutual 8 saying theyre going to the park)

Mutual 15: So in my latest session in dnd we rolled 1d12 for dick size and i rolled a nat 20 and idk what to do with this reponsibility now

Mutual 16: he looks so good im going to scream (a screenshot where said character is so far in the background he doesnt even have a face)

Mutual 17: eho up thinking about the moral dillemma presented in pokemon go

Mutual 18: take a look at my ocs :D (mona lisa if dhe was gay)

Mutual 19: i hadba really good day today i got to spend some time bonding with my entire family and we got to celebrate something we havent had the time for in 37 years

Mutual 20: (reblogging mutual 19) L + Don't care + 632146K~P PRC, dl.2146K~P, 5K > 2146K~P, 5K > JF 2146K~P, 2H, WS ([4]6H->P), 623H

Mutual 21: (Blurry photo of them running from police) they're after me for my stash kf yaoi cocaine

Mutual 22: (Miles long RP chain they started 2 months ago. You have post notification on for them because its awesome)

Mutual 23: Discussing the morality of liking bananas over mangoes

Mutuals 24 ans 25: having a dramatic wedding where theyre acting as a crack ship. They're on the verge of divorce

Mutual 26: She winding onbmy waker (is in the middle of intense controversy)

Mutual 27: (Callout for mutual 26)

Mutual 28: If Mutual 17 asked i would give them a sloppy toppy

Mutual 29: Anon get out of my inbox before j block you his ass is NOT flat. (His ass is fucking concave)

Mutual 30: Shes just like me fr (a picture kf a shopping cart)

#textbox

[phantoms-world-and-more]

Fentons and the joker

So the fentons are in gothem for whatever reason, yada yada yada...BUT rather than danny its JACK that went phyco on the joker???:)

.

.

.

Its just after danny revealed himself as phantom, it took some time to cope with it but the fenton parents support danny (as long as hes relatively safe) being phantom, in amity.

But right now Their in gothem, and jack and maddie are in protective mode, jazz and danny and a little annoyed since after danny revealed himself as phantom their protectiveness trippeled, usualy that wasent a problem, amity was their home, none of the ghosts really wanted to hurt danny, and they have access to resources and support when needed

But their not in amity, so if they get hurt they have limited options, and apparently jack and maddie take thay as :their children could be in danger, stay aware

Danny actually dosent mind it, he's outside of his haunt but he still feels as safe as can be

Jazz is trying to lecture them on the unhealthy coping mechanisms they've developed but that aside she dosent really mind

That was until they got a news report that their was a prison breakout

Danny and jazz are trying to keep their parents from pulling out the fenton bazookas

And jack and maddie are making sure the trackers on their children are working

Well suddenly the street is filled with smoke, there was screaming, laughing and the sounds of people getting knocked over

When the smoke clears danny and jazz are gone...

.

.

.

Danny amd jazz were being held hostage by some loon called the joker

Now its bad because jazz needs to focus all her attention on keeping danny calm, he's outside in haunt without any protection, his parents are gone, he cant use his powers without outing himself again and theres a FUCKING CLOWN 3 FEET FROM HIM MONOLOGING TO A FURRIE

He's this close to loosing it and (probably) turning this clown into sidewalk chalk

The clown kept talking to the furrie but they weren't paying attention, after a certain point the clown aimed his gun at danny head...

And thats when the fenton-family-car ran through the wall, maddie took one look at the situation and started beating the everliving shit out of anyone who got in the way of her and her babys... after 5 minues all the goons were making a path for her and the other hostages are scared of this woman

Jack on the other hand saw the position danny was in, had flashbacks to danny amd freakshow, and promptly went insane

He shoved batman, tackeled the joker, breaking the arm holding the gun in the processes, and proceded to(with his bare hands) remove all of the jokers teeth, he them puller out a fenton-net, strung him up like a fish and handed the netted-joker to batman with the instruction "watch him"

Half an hour later nightwing and batman are talking to the fentons, jack and maddie each cheaking for injuries on jazz and danny

Nightwing is the one to ask

:why did you do so much to the joker? Why didnt you just disarm him?

:huh, OH, y'see my youngest danny-O over there, had some...bad experiences with clowns that left some lasting trauma...and well, no one scares my children

Nightwing gave a pointed look at batman, and prepared to show the recordings to jason

#danny phantom #fic prompt #daily prompt #danny fenton #dc x dp #dp x dc #funny #batman #dc #jazz fenton #jack fenton #maddie fenton #nightwing #the joker #joker #fentons in gothem #fentons hunt the joker #overprotective jack and maddie #dick is going to enjoy showing the video to jason #the joker was on the receiving end of jacks correctly-placed-aggretion #jason wonders if he can be re-adopted #bruce knowes the batfam wont let this go for a while