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kj-1130 · 1 year

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Anything For You

Chapter 6

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You sat in a booth near the back of the coffee shop, twiddling with your shaky fingers. Ever since you woke up this morning, you felt the weight of the day ahead sitting on your chest. Regardless of how things would pan out, this was a major thing (at least to you) that was about to occur. You had been nervous the whole trek here, constantly wondering if it was too late to back out.

The bell on the door rings, signaling that someone had just walked in, but you didn’t pay any mind. You were far too occupied to give attention to anything else. But it seemed as though you didn’t have a choice as the table jerked from movement across from you, causing you to look up. Strawberry blonde hair fills your peripherals while you stare into her blue eyes. The air immediately became tense, thick enough to cut through with a knife. It feels as if everything went quiet around you as you focus on the woman. A moment of silence hangs over the two of you.

“I’m surprised you called,” Pepper says softly.

“So am I,” you whisper, rubbing your hands on your jeans. You were also surprised she managed to convince you to meetup but that was neither here nor there.

“How have you been?”

“Umm, good, decent,” you nod. “All things considered.”

“Yeah,” the woman agrees. “It’s been…. weird--hard lately.”

There was a small, tense pause. Both of you are noticeably uncomfortable.

“You know, Morgan’s been talking about-”

“Pepper,” you gently interrupt, and she immediately stops, knowing she’s been caught. “I’m not…I’m not here to talk. I just need the therapist’s number and I’ll be out of your hair.”

“That’s the thing, (y/n). I don’t want you out of my hair,” she expresses. “Morgan misses you; I miss you. Your father-”

“That man is not my father,” you state firmly. “He never has been and never will be. You of all people should know that.”

The woman lets out a sigh and bows her head.

“I should’ve done more, I admit that. I wish I had done more to help you.” You look away from her gaze and stare out the window. “But I want to be there now. Those five years without you were hell and they taught me that life is too short. I want to make the time we have left valuable. So please,” she pauses, reaching across the table to grab your shaky hand. “Let me be there.”

Your chin trembles as you hold back tears, trying to calm yourself down. You were just supposed to be in and out.

“I just…I just want the number, Pep,” you whisper.

“Please, (y/n).”

You take a deep breath, clench your jaw, and take your hand out of hers.

“Okay, fine, whatever. Just give me the number,” you mutter.

Her small smile slightly falters but she nonetheless digs through her bag. She pulls out a card not a moment later and with no hesitation, you take it and quickly get up to walk out the cafe, leaving the stunned woman behind.

Virginia Potts had always been a busy woman, even more so after getting a job at Stark Industries. Between all the running around, jotting notes down--simply doing whatever her boss instructed her to do.

Tony was, to put it simply, a man child. During her second week, she found three gray hairs sitting on the top of her head and had no doubt that he was the cause of them. He was arrogant, rude, annoying, difficult…the list goes on. It frustrated the woman to no end sometimes.

But despite his cockiness and irritating attitude, Pepper found herself sticking beside him through it all. She was there in his sickness, when he was kidnapped, when he joined the Avengers--whatever happened, she was there. Meaning, she was there when Tony took you in.

Deep down, Pepper knew that the man wasn’t ready for a child--probably wouldn’t be for years to come. She saw how the man partied and drank more than his body weight. She saw every woman go into and leave his bed throughout the years. Hell, she tried to talk him out of it, but her words were simply ignored by him as if they had never even been said.

When she saw you trail in behind him that day, struggling to carry all of your belongings, she couldn’t help but feel bad. The woman had heard your story and could only sympathize with you losing someone so important to you at such a young age.

She saw the sadness and longing in your eyes as you watched your father walk away from you without so much as giving you a tour. She saw how tears welled in your eyes and noticed how much of an effort you put into pushing them back down.

Pepper simply stared as you brought each of your bags one by one up the long staircase and figured out which room was yours. And she only listened as you sobbed your tiny heart out with no one there to console or comfort you.

And there was absolutely nothing she regretted more in her life.

There were numerous occasions where she wanted to come and speak to you, try to get you more situated and comfortable. She wanted to help when you were trying to make breakfast for yourself once and ended up burning yourself while making eggs. Or maybe when you were reading a thick textbook on the main room's couch—she had the urge to ask you what other things you enjoyed learning about.

Pepper didn’t know or even ask herself often what held her back. Perhaps it was her loyalty to Tony. She had read an article about herd behavior—maybe that was it.

She could come up with any excuse under the sun, but none of them made what she did right. None of them helped you feel any better. None of them took back all the times she ignored you when she knew you were on the very brink of giving up. When you were on your last leg with no one. No one who loved or cared for you.

The woman was taught that actions spoke louder than words. It didn’t matter how many times she apologized to you. Those apologies wouldn’t take back the hurt and trauma you went through while she sat back and watched. But she would spend however many days she had left making it up to you.

No, she couldn’t erase the pain, but she could only hope that you’d give her a chance (that she didn’t honestly deserve). She just wanted to show you that she did care and wanted to be there now.

She wanted to watch you grow into a young woman. She wanted to witness your relationship blossom. She wanted to watch you and Morgan fully embrace your sibling dynamic. There were a lot of things she wanted to see and could only wish on her lucky star that you wanted to see them happen too.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

taglist

@coollemonsaresour @ximaginx @xx-narcissa @jesuswasnotawhiteman @yelena-belovas-wife @uselessgay101 @freyathehuntress @oliemolliever @lavvi23

#michelle jones x reader #anything for you #tony stark x daughter!reader #black!reader #marvel x reader #avengers x reader #anything for you series

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somewhatgoodatart · 2 years

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How to get a platonic fake-date in six easy steps - Ch. 5

Ch. 1 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 6

Darius shows off his combat ability and gets a bit messed up.

“Maybe we can talk to Bump? Do it together? The point of this is just to keep Grom locked up, why should he stop us?”, Eda threw in, eyes nervously following Raine as they drew their enchantment around the entire arena. Darius turned back from where he had been testing out one of the fighting staffs, “No. I’m doing this.” ‘I have to’ and ‘I can do it’ went unsaid but Lilith caught the determination in his eyes, blocking out the fear for as long as possible. She couldn’t say that it wasn’t an unfamiliar feeling. “Just…try to stay present”, she hesitantly rested a hand on his free shoulder and in a second his eyes locked onto her, “Eda and Raine will sit right by the border of the arena with me. If you have trouble grounding yourself…just look to us. We’ll be there for you, as much as we can.” Darius’ hand brushed over his ornament, hand traveling to cover Lilith’s. He didn’t say another word as more students trickled in to catch a good seat but Lilith could decipher the gratitude in his eyes easily enough. Should the need arise, there would be three volunteers always ready to take over for Darius. Not because they didn’t trust in his abilities but because he was their titan-damned friend and of course they would protect him. Darius finally seemed to understand that.

The cheers of the crowd were barely audible on the bottom of the pit. At least he wouldn’t be distracted, Darius thought while his grip around the staff tightened. His eyes slowly scanned the dark area, paying close attention to the rippling of the shadows. And then Grometheus burst out of the ground, writhing form towering over Darius, eyes glowing as it scanned his mind.

The mass slowly melted down to take the form of his mother. “Darius, what do you think you are doing? Do you honestly think that is a good fighting stance? And choosing a staff? I believe we taught you better than that.” The berating stung but it always did and if he could do this even once- Darius picked up speed, racing towards the caricature of his mother and using the momentum to swing his entire body through the chest area of the creature which promptly fell apart.

He sprang to his feet, all too aware that this was just an easy beginning. Grom seemed to work his way up, wearing his mind down before hitting him with the true horror. But this part he could at least expect. The monster took the form of relatives, teachers, old friends, attacking from all sides, all the while shouting insult after insult. Darius did his best to block their voices out and simply concentrate on fighting. From above he was barely discernible, just a blur of purple as he swung his staff without much thought, kicking, ducking and twisting of his body automatic from years of training.

He hesitated just a moment too long to destroy the image of Alador- his mistake. Fake-Odalia lost her head even faster in exchange but Grom must have sensed something regardless because the splattered remnants of his essence came together to form another group. Where Alador had previously stood were now Eda and Raine, crouching to hold up a collapsed Lilith bleeding- oh Titan there was so much blood, dripping down her suit, pooling around her and covering her torso where- Darius felt sick as his eyes fell on the deep gash stretching over her abdomen. “What is wrong with you?” Eda screamed but Darius barely registered the words, “…what? I- I didn’t do anything!” “Exactly. You didn’t even manage to stand your ground against Grom!”, Eda snarled in disgust. Darius gaze was still fixed on Lilith, hands shaking even as he tried to clear his head, “But I- why would she-“ “I knew you were pathetic”, he had never heard such venom in Raine’s voice, “but practically forcing Lilith to save you? Almost as if you didn’t just wait for a moment to drop her, like you did all your other friends.” Darius shook his head, eyes squeezed shut but the image of his injured friend seemed to be burned into his mind. But he was standing his ground right now, wasn’t he? Or had he passed out, had he failed and forced Lilith to carry the consequences?

“This is just embarrassing.”

No nono- his body started shaking even worse at the new voice. “Little prince, is this what I trained you to be?” Darius feet felt glued to the floor, unable to turn around to face his mentor. “Of course not. Sir, I know but I’ll do better, I didn’t want this-“ “No-one did”, there was a mocking tone to his mentor’s voice, pitying almost, as he circled Darius, “But this really is a shame.” A faceless head lifted, non-visible eyes burning into Darius. “You know how it looks when I fail a mission”, but he was more than a mission, right? The Golden Guard had taken Darius in as his student on his own wish, no-one had commanded him to… The guard lifted his hand, expressionless disappointment tangible before he even spoke, “If you had only tried a little harder, then this wouldn’t be happening, Darius.”

Darius could only watch in shock as the hand began to turn grey before crumbling to pieces that vanished into dust before they could hit the ground. He felt like his heart would give out as the same grey tone traveled up the guard’s legs and torso, slowly locking him in place. He didn’t know if he was still breathing, full concentration on his mentor who slowly tilted his head, mask cracking and starting to leak blood. This wasn’t happening he hadn’t killed his friend, he hadn’t killed Lilith but his neck seemed stiff, like he himself was being cast in stone and his eyes could only concentrate on the statue of his beloved mentor and the stiff lifeless form of his dear friend. He couldn’t have killed them, he couldn’t have but they were right in front of him and his racing thoughts didn’t make any sense, blocking out everything but terror and despair. Darius knew his entire body was shaking, how long had his eyes watered, was he still breathing?

And then, one clear thought cut through the chaos: ‘Just look at me.’ Darius blinked in confusion- how long had he just been staring? – the image of his petrified teacher thinning just enough to make the arena walls behind him visible. Right, the arena. He was still in the arena, still fighting Grom, which meant Lilith shouldn’t be down here and it meant his mentor wasn’t disappointed, that he wouldn’t be punished for Darius’ failure. The same thought echoed in his head. ‘Just look at me’. At who…Darius’ head snapped up before he could register it, eyes locking onto Lilith, sitting by the slope leading into the pit, a reassuring smile on her face, eyes soft. He didn’t look back at his nightmare, gaze fixed on his lovely friend even as he felt the abomination in his ornament shift and his powers explode outwards. He stayed focused on her gentle smile and Eda’s enthusiastic cheering and Raine’s encouraging thumb-up when the miserable images of his friends dissolved in ear-piercing shrieks as his abominations made little show of cutting down the squirming masses of monster. His only indication of victory were the deafening cheers of his classmates and the particularly over-joyed expression on three specific faces.

#tw injury #tw blood #the owl house #toh #toh darius #lilith clawthorne #eda clawthorne #raine whispers #the previous golden guard #old hexside crew au

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jenoismydad · 3 years

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2 + 3 = You In Me

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Pairing: Tutor!Jaemin x Fem!Reader

Genre: Smut (pwp), Slight Angst, College AU

Words: 4.6k+

Warnings: 18+ content. Unprotected sex.

Synopsis: He agrees to tutor you and you end up becoming good friends even though you both so clearly want to be more. What happens when you let you bodies talk for you?

Jaemin was coming over to help you prepare for a test. You had no clue how he'd agreed to assist you, but you were thankful nonetheless. Jaemin rarely ever studied with girls. Mostly because they were always hitting on him. But it seemed you were an exception. You wondered why but you figured it was because he was trying to make some extra money.

Yes, Jaemin made you pay him. He made everyone pay him so you didn't think too much of it. From what you'd heard, his methods never failed to prove effective. You hoped he could help you study well enough to pass this test. After all, a majority of your grade depended on it.

You'd spent a good amount of your time trying to prepare a nice study space for you both to sit at in your apartment. So far you'd only managed to clean your coffee table and place two cushions for seats at its feet.

Jaemin would be here any minute. You rushed to get everything you'd need for the day, wanting to keep it all ready so that you wouldn't have to interrupt the study session. Your bell rang not soon after. He was here on time.

Opening the door, you welcomed him with a smile. He nodded and entered without a word. Black track pants and a plain white shirt. Jaemin hadn't made much of an effort to dress to impress. He ventured into your dorm, looking around the place silently.

That's when he came across your makeshift study zone. He pointed at it and looked at you.

"We're studying here," he asked, placing his hands in his pockets. He sounded a tad bit dejected. Your eyes widened slightly in panic. Was he not comfortable with sitting on the floor? "Yeah, I figured. Is there a problem," you asked, fearing the worst for no reason. Jaemin shook his head. "Nope, I just thought we were gonna sit in your room. That's where most of the girls take me anyways," he revealed, flashing you a small grin. You immediately felt at ease.

"My room's kind of a mess at the moment," you admitted, joining him near your couch. He took a seat on the floor, placing the cushion behind his back instead. He cleaned his black-rimmed glasses and patted the space next to himself. "Let's get started."

Jaemin was a pro at breaking down the complex concept so that your pea-sized brain could understand it to the fullest. The only drawback with that method was that it took much longer than you'd like it to. Two hours later you'd only finished one of the chapters that would be coming for the test. You still had four more to go.

"Fuck it's already three o'clock," you complained, falling dramatically on the coffee table. Jaemin flipped his pen in his fingers and stretched his body with a yawn. "I don't mind staying overtime," he joked. He'd made a lot of humoring comments during your time with him. The last you'd heard, he tended to be quite serious, never straying from his purpose. Not that you minded or anything, but Jaemin wasn't really meeting the expectations everyone had set for him in your mind. Maybe they were just trying to intimidate you.

"Don't you have to study too," you asked, turning your head to glance at him. He looked at you and shook his head. "I already studied beforehand. Plus, this test's gonna be super easy. You pass it with a breeze," he admitted. As relieving as that sounded, you didn't wanna take any chances. What if he flunked the test because he didn't revise or something. You really didn't want to be the person he blamed when that happened.

"You don't have to stay for my sake. You can go home if you want to. I think I can manage on my own now." you flipped through the pages of your coursebook, sighing in despair. It was a lot to go through. At least you still had half the day left.

Jaemin folded his arms. "Don't worry about me y/n. Not to undermine you, but I don't think you can get through all of this by yourself. I mean, you barely managed to understand the basics. All those chapters just branch off from this one and get increasingly tough to learn."

If this was him trying to convince you to let him stay then it sure as hell was working. You groaned and sat back up. "You promise you won't fail the test because of me then?" Jaemin chuckled. "Of course not. I'll pass with flying colors."

So you resumed studying. Jaemin was right. What he taught you next was more confusing than the first chapter you'd covered. You regretted not paying attention during your lectures. Jaemin never got impatient with you. In fact, he took ample time to make sure you understood everything he explained to you. He was very thorough and you appreciated that. However the more knowledge you absorbed, the more exhausted you felt. It got to the point where you felt like you couldn't study any further. Jaemin then suggested that you take a small break. You couldn't have agreed faster.

"Once we're done you should go through the practice questions that I emailed you," Jaemin reminded, taking a sip of the soda you'd offered him. You gave him a thumbs up and fell on the ground. "You're a lifesaver Na Jaemin."

Jaemin chuckled and turned to you. "I'm guessing it's not just math that you're having a problem with."

You raised your head and narrowed your eyes at him. "Nicely deduced."

"We can get together to study together for your other subjects if you don't mind. No need to pay me either," he offered.

You furrowed your brows. "Jaemin the longer you spend teaching me the dumber you're gonna get."

He brushed you off. "I'm pretty sure it doesn't work like that."

"You never know, and besides, after today you should know that it's gonna take five hundred years to clear all my concepts. Do you even have that kind of time?"

Jaemin tilted his soda can at you. "You'd be surprised at how much free time I have on my hands."

You smiled. "Wait so you're actually agreed to be my personal tutor."

Jaemin rolled his eyes amusedly. "It was my proposition but yes. I wouldn't be your personal tutor though. Just a study partner."

You sat up and leaned back. "So like, studying in the library after class and stuff like that?"

He nodded. "If the library's closed we can come here or I can take you to my place."

You pursed your lips, considering his deal. But something paused your train of thoughts. "Wait a minute. Why are you asking me this all of a sudden? You hardly seem like the type of guy who'd study with someone else."

Jaemin downed his drink, wincing at the fizziness that clawed at his throat. "I've had fun studying with you so far. Like, you're genuinely dumb, unlike some other people I tutor who just pretend to be dumb so they can spend a few hours with me."

You raised a brow. Had he just called you dumb? "I'll try not to take offense, thank you very much."

Jaemin apologized with a laugh.

"Does it make you feel smarter in some type of way," you asked? Jaemin hummed in response. "It kinda does now that you mention it. But I also feel like it would help me revise and clear my own concepts at the same time."

That made sense. "Damn, and here I was thinking you wanted to do this cause you were interested in me."

Jaemin's eyes widened. You raised your hands in defense. "It's just a joke. Don't take it seriously," you assured. Jaemin relaxed at that.

"Let's get started again. We're almost halfway there," he said, changing the topic. You agreed and sat beside him again, pen in hand, ready to go.

You walked out of your lecture with a bright smile on your face and headed straight to the library. Sure enough, Jaemin was already sitting there, waiting for you patiently. You sent him a small wave and skipped over to him. Handing him your graded test paper, you watched excitedly as his eyes lit up.

"Oh my god. You passed!"

You squealed and sat next to him, placing your bag near your feet. Jaemin smiled up at you. "This is such a good score," he added, glad that he'd been able to help.

"Henceforth we're studying together for every single test. I don't care if you're sick or at a friend's house."

Jaemin laughed and nodded. "Sure thing. If it means seeing you this happy then I'm down."

You froze at his words, glancing towards him. He clearly didn't seem to realize what he'd just said. Maybe you'd heard wrong. It was possible. After all, he was whispering. You didn't exactly have the best track record when it came to listening anyways. Concluding that you were mistaken, you pulled out your books and got to finishing up your assignments.

A few hours later Jaemin and you exited the library. You both usually parted ways since your dorms were in the opposite direction. However today, Jaemin followed behind you.

"What are you doing," you asked when he jogged up next to you. "We should celebrate your achievement today," he suggested. That sounded nice. "Okay then, what do you propose we should do?"

Jaemin pondered on your question. "Let's go to the cafe. I'll buy you coffee and anything else you want."

Coffee was perfect. You nodded and agreed. Jaemin grinned and led you to a small cafe that was just a little outside campus.

You both entered the small shop, the tantalizing scent of coffee hitting your senses immediately. Even though it was almost lunchtime, the cafe was brimming with multitudes of students. Luckily, the queue was short.

"Go find us somewhere nice to sit. I'll buy us some drinks," Jaemin said, pulling out his phone. Before you left, you let him know what you'd like.

Venturing to the back of the cafe, you found a secluded booth for two. It faced a large window, one that gave a fantastic view of the campus. You took a seat and placed your bag next to you. After a couple minutes of waiting, Jaemin emerged with your drinks in hand. He handed you yours before sitting down.

"Iced Americano? I see you're into the classics," you chimed, deciding to spark up a conversation. Jaemin took a sip of his drink. "Simple is the best after all."

Of course, it was. "Hey Jaemin," you started, setting your drink down on the table. He hummed. "Do you wanna come over later today," you asked. Jaemin furrowed his brows. "But we already finished studying."

You shook your head. "Not to study. Let's hang out, maybe watch a movie or something like that."

He seemed a bit taken aback, but nothing too alarming. It was just that you two never really did anything other than study together. Sure enough, you'd become close because of it. But you figured as friends, there were other things you could engage in to pass the time.

"Let's do it. What time should I come over," Jaemin asked? "Does seven work for you? I'll order pizza, so you don't need to worry about dinner."

Jaemin nodded. "Seven works for me."

As soon as the clock struck seven, there was a knock on your door. The ever punctual Jaemin would never be a second late. You let him in, eager to get your night started. He walked into your dorm and went straight to your room, plopping down on your bed as if it were his own.

You'd already been browsing on Netflix, wondering what genre he liked. It had never come up in conversation before so you didn't really know.

"What are we watching," he asked, scrolling through the options. You shrugged and joined him on your bed. "I'm not sure. I didn't know what you like," you admitted.

"I usually just watch whatever's in the top ten or 'new this week'," he shared. He stopped at a movie you would never have believed he'd be interested in.

"You wanna watch Yes Day," you asked in disbelief? Jaemin giggled and nodded innocently. "It looks super lame but I've already finished watching everything," he revealed. Here you were thinking you both would watch something more serious instead of a family movie. Instead of spending forty minutes trying to settle on one movie, you decided it best to just go with the first choice.

Jaemin started the movie and leaned back beside you. It was quiet between you both for the most part. You watched the movie in silence. It wasn't as entertaining as you'd thought it would be, but Jaemin seemed to be engrossed in it so you chose to say nothing and continued staring at the screen.

Halfway into the movie, Jaemin stifled a yawn and fell to the side, rubbing his eyes tiredly. He looked at you and pointed to the screen. "Are we gonna keep watching this?"

You let out a breath of relief and exited out of the movie once and for all. "If you didn't like it why'd you make me watch it," you complained, shutting your laptop. Jaemin sat up and crossed his legs. "I thought you were enjoying it. You even laughed at the funny parts."

You stuck your chin out. "You should know what my fake laugh sounds like by now Jaemin." He raised his hands in defense. "The only time I hear you laugh is when you realize you're doing something wrong."

You tsked. "That's called nervous laughter genius. You suck at interpreting emotions."

He hit you with a pillow softly. "Hey, stop making me out for a robot."

"You're the human embodiment of the AI," you joked, dodging the pillow he swung at you. Raising your hands in defense, you shielded yourself from him. "At least I said you're intelligent."

Jaemin paused his attacks. "You're lucky I think you're cute. I'll let you off the hook for now."

You had another one of those moments where you froze, wondering if the words that had come out of his mouth were true or not. He didn't whisper this time. You'd heard everything word for word. But you couldn't believe it.

"Did you just call me cute?"

Jaemin nodded, not seeming too surprised about it. "You aren't not cute," he added. Maybe you were misinterpreting the meaning behind it. Friends called friends cute. It was normal. That didn't mean that they liked each other, did it?

Noticing the conflict in your expression, Jaemin leaned forward and cleared his throat. "I didn't mean it in an 'I have a crush on you' type of way."

Something about that made your stomach churn. You felt uneasy all of a sudden. You wanted to be relieved, that he didn't think of you as more than a friend. But a part of you wished he felt otherwise. You didn't know why, it just did.

You chuckled awkwardly and faced him. "Yeah, of course, you didn't. I don't know why I thought that."

Jaemin hummed and rested his chin on his palm. "Maybe because you wanted it to be true."

"Huh?"

"Maybe you wanted me to tell you that I like you."

You didn't know what to say to that. So you just smiled awkwardly. "But you don't, do you?"

Jaemin grinned. "Do you want me to?"

"No! Of course not, why would I-"

"I'm just messing with you y/n. Don't worry, we're just friends," he assured, finding you getting alarmed quite amusing. You hit his shoulder. "Don't joke around like that. Who knows what might happen."

Jaemin's laughter died down. He met your gaze sombrely. You knew he wanted to say something, but he remained silent. His eyes traveled down to your lips for a moment. You sucked in a breath, suddenly feeling giddy. Jaemin looked back into your eyes, this time with a small smile. You didn't know what he was doing. You also didn't know if you liked it or not. Your mind said one thing and your body said another. Jaemin subtly licked his lips. You had no clue why the action had such a devastating effect on you.

Before you knew it, your lips were on his. Jaemin didn't seem surprised at all. In fact, he relaxed and snaked his arm around your waist, pulling your body onto his. He fell back on your mattress, bringing you on top of him. Straddling his lap, you placed your hands on either side of his head, kissing him with vigor. Jaemin groaned against your mouth, the sound sending warm shivers down your back. His lips were softer than you thought they'd be and he tasted faintly of coffee.

His hands slipped under your shirt, resting on your skin. His touch felt fiery hot. You rolled your hips over his lap impulsively, biting his both lip as a throaty groan left his mouth. He squeezed your waist and trailed his hands down to your ass.

Before things could escalate, however, your bell rang. You both stilled, separating from each other. When your eyes met, you scrambled off of him and sat at the edge of your bed, completely stunned. Jaemin rubbed his face and sat up as well, not really knowing what to say. The bell rang again, snapping you out of your daze. "I'll go get that," you muttered disorientedly, leaving Jaemin in your room. He nodded and stood up. "Actually, I'm gonna go," he said, leaving your room before you could say anything. You heard the door open and shut soon after. Your bell rang again.

You went to open your door. A delivery guy stood before you, hands empty with a confused look on his face. "The guy that just left took the pizza with him. He said that you'd pay for it." You couldn't believe it. Nonetheless, you paid the man and shut your door. What had just happened?

A few days passed after the incident at your dorm. Jaemin hadn't called or texted you and in all honesty, you hadn't made an attempt to contact him. You felt too embarrassed to face him. After all, it was you who'd gone onto him. Even if he didn't push you away it wasn't like either of you had agreed to start making out. You were anxious because you knew you'd ruined your friendship with him.

A part of you missed him. You enjoyed spending time with him, even though all you did was study. Everything was so bleak now that he wasn't around to humor you.

You didn't want to regret whatever had happened that night. It was amazing. You just wished it hadn't ended the way it did. You should have understood that he indeed was joking. Instead, you mistook his prodding for sarcasm.

It made no sense for you to not speak to him. You wanted to make amends, figure out what had gone wrong. But you were scared he'd ignore you. That would just make you feel worse than you already did.

So you passed the days, wafting in your own misery. Pitying yourself as if the entire weight of the world had been thrown on your shoulders.

Little did you know that all it would take was another shitty test score for you to pick up your phone and call Jaemin.

"Help me study," you said as soon as he answered the call. Jaemin was silent on the other end. "Don't just listen to me. Say something," you begged. Your heart felt heavy. You heard him sigh. "I'd rather not y/n." You got goosebumps. "Jaemin, please. We can go to fucking library if that makes you feel better," you suggested, desperate for him to agree. After giving it some thought he finally answered you. "Okay fine. Tomorrow at three. But no longer than three hours."

He hung up, leaving you feeling a tad bit better. You looked forward to the next day. Hopefully, he wouldn't act indifferent to you.

Jaemin sat in your usual spot at the library. He was on his phone, leg crossed over his lap leisurely. You walked up to him and took a seat beside him without a word. Seeing you had arrived, he put his phone away and turned to you. "What are we studying?"

You took out your books and opened them. "This."

Jaemin glanced over the material. No wonder you'd flunked your test. He sighed, placing the textbook between you two. Without wasting a second, he began tutoring you.

No matter how hard you tried, you just couldn't pay attention. You were too busy staring at his face, more specifically his lips. They way he'd lick them ever so often made butterflies soar in your stomach. He'd run his hand through his fluffy hair and adjust his glasses, letting your mind run wild. Jaemin didn't seem to notice your lack of focus. You figured he didn't really care. He kept glancing at his watch. It was like he was waiting for your time with him to come to an end.

Much to your dismay, eventually it did.

"I'll send you a picture of some practice material. You can use that to prepare better," he concluded, getting up from his seat. You quickly stuffed your books in your bag and ran after him.

"Jaemin wait!"

He paused. "What," he asked as he turned around. He sounded disinterested. "Can we talk," you asked? Jaemin sighed and shrugged. "What do you wanna talk about," he questioned, placing his hands in his pockets. "About what happened at my place last week."

Jaemin tensed up. "It was a mistake. I think we both understood that."

You shook your head. "I don't know Jaemin, I'm not sure I did."

He furrowed his brows. "What do you mean?"

"The more I thought about it the more I realized that I wouldn't have kissed you unless I wanted to. Not just that but you wouldn't have let it go so far if you thought it was wrong."

He seemed at a loss for words.

"When you called me cute, you did mean it in an 'I have a crush on you' type of way." You didn't need an answer for him to know you were correct.

"What are you trying to say y/n," he asked, sounding defeated.

"That I like you," you admitted. Jaemin's eyes widened. "And that you like me too," you added.

Jaemin bit his lip. "Okay, so then why were we acting like we hated each other for so long?"

You shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe because you overthink everything and I'm a big pussy."

Jaemin chuckled and slung his arm around your shoulder. "I'm sorry about that babe."

You cringed at the nickname. "Don't 'babe' me. We're not dating. Not yet."

Jaemin rolled his eyes. "Does it really need to be that formal?"

You nodded adamantly. "Of course it does."

He sighed. "Fine. Will you go out with me y/n?"

You smiled and shook your head. "I'd rather not Jaemin."

"Yeah whatever," he said with a scoff, leading you outside.

As soon as you were past your door Jaemin's lips were on yours in an instant. He pushed you against the wall, wrapping your legs around his waist. You held onto his shoulders, sighing into his mouth. "I missed you so fucking much," he muttered, stumbling to your room.

He dropped you on your bed and hovered over you, staring down at you somberly before kissing you again. His lips didn't stay on yours for too long, trailing down to your jaw and then your neck. You tugged at his shirt, urging him to take it off. When he did, you stared at his chiseled body in awe. "I didn't know you worked out."

Jaemin chuckled at your comment and pulled your own shirt off. He flicked the tiny bow on your bra with an amused grin. "This is cute."

You nudged his arm timidly. "I wasn't exactly preparing myself for this moment."

He said nothing further and latched his lips to your neck once again. Running your fingers through his hair, you craned your neck to the side to give him more access. He gently sucked on your skin, not too harsh that it would leave marks. You sighed and fiddled with the waistband of his sweatpants. "Do you want it off," he asked quietly, lips ghosting over yours. You nodded, biting your lip when he pushed his pants down.

His member came into sight, making your mouth water.

Taking your hand in his, he brought it to his cock. Your fingers wrapped around his girth instinctively. Jaemin suck in a breath as he made you stroke his length. His hand slipped past your panties, fingers toying with your clit. You gasped and spread your legs wider, loving the way his calloused fingertips felt. Tightening your grip around his cock, you jerked him off earnestly. In turn, Jaemin began rubbing quick circles into your sensitive bundle of nerves.

Letting go of his member, you hastily pushed your pants down your legs. Jaemin peeled your panties off of you, marveling at the sight of your glistening pussy. "Don't just stare," you complained, shutting your legs, "do something."

Jaemin wordlessly, spread your legs apart and settled down between your thighs. He glanced up at your through his lashes, asking for permission before licking a stripe up your folds. You pushed your hips against his mouth, eyes falling shut when he repeated the action. Holding onto your thighs, he nipped and sucked at your clit, groaning every time your bucked your hips into his face. You gripped onto his hair, tugging at his roots. Jaemin's fingers prodded at your slit, slowly entering your walls. He curled them up, making your arch your back in delight. It felt so good. He knew exactly what he was doing.

With his tongue skillfully moving over your clit and his fingers continuously pumping in and out of you, it didn't take long for you to feel a familiar knot in your stomach. You sat up, pulling his mouth off of your cunt. "I need you to fuck me now." Your voice was hushed, breathless because of how much you'd moaned. Jaemin's eyes had darkened considerably. He pushed you down on your back again and pressed his tip to your entrance.

Jaemin felt bigger than he looked. Not that you were complaining or anything, it just took a while to get used to. He made sure you were comfortable before slowly starting to pound into you.

You grabbed his arms as he fastened his pace, head falling back in ecstasy. Shallow breaths left his parted lips. "You feel so good," he muttered, burying his face in the crook of your neck. His breath was hot on your skin. You wrapped your arms around his neck, humming in response. You were close. Jaemin could tell.

Gripping onto your waist, he went faster, slamming his cock into you as he chased your highs. You cried out his name, squeezing your eyes shut. Your walls clenched tightly around his length, your orgasm crashing down on you intensely. Soon enough, he twitched inside you. His thighs stilled, hips snapping into you one last time before thick ropes of his cum shot into your walls. He let out a pleased groan, voice deep and raspy.

"That was amazing," you breathed, pushing your hair out of your face as Jaemin moved off of you. He smiled and tugged his pants back on, joining you under the covers. "I'm glad you enjoyed it." Jaemin pulled you into his side, letting you rest your head on his shoulder. You laughed to yourself. "What is it," Jaemin asked. You shook your head, looking at him. "To think this all started after you agreed to tutor me."

tagging: @neosmutcollective @hoehousenet @kdiarynet @kafenetwork @nct-writers @ficscafe @whipped-kpop-creators @kpopscape

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lilacmeadows · 3 years

Text

Made For You pt. 2

Omg you guys thank you so much for all the support! Part 1 was my first fic and you guys were so sweet. I had to get started on part 2 right away. If you want to be on my taglist, just let me know! This is just leading up to the next few chapters that’s just gonna be FILTHY. I needed a bit of backstory to be satisfied, but now that the boring part is out of the way, I’m gonna go research other names for genitals. Hope you enjoy! -Savvy

BUCKY X READER

Summary: Hydra had just finished training you to be the Winter Soldier’s perfect mate when the Avengers saved him. But what’s going to happen to you now that Hydra has deleted your old life and left you with nothing but a soldier that needs to learn to love himself before he can love someone else.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

WARNINGS: explicit sexual content, explicit language, underage reader (nothing sexual happens underage), stockholm syndrome, mentions of family death, eventual dom/sub dynamics, mentions of captivity and kidnapping. violence- guns, mutual pining, eventual smut, fluff, angst if you squint (must be 18+)

WORD COUNT: 2.9k

“Make the Soldat happy. He is my mission.”

When she was first taken, of course she was scared. She didn’t know why, where she was going, if she’d be rescued. It was a painful adjustment, and some days it was as if the tears would never stop. It’s not like she was worth anything to anyone who mattered, her family wasn’t rich. Just her mom and brother. They lived a happy and normal life.

She’d guess it didn’t really matter. At the age of 10, y/n was old enough to understand basic concepts, carry a conversation with adults, and she had strict teachers in school, so she knew how to behave.

What she didn’t know was how to be a wife. Or a ‘life-partner’. None of the Men would ever call her a future ‘wife’. She was training to be a mate. Someone the Soldat could own and connect with so he didn’t fly off the rails if things got out of control. If he got out of their control. Every morning, a watcher would wake her up at 8AM so she could stretch, eat, and meditate. By 10AM, her first trainer of the day would come in and teach her the schooling she was missing. Just basic math and reading, a little German, and a little Russian. Not enough for her to eavesdrop on their plans, but enough to understand her Soldat if he didn’t feel like speaking English.

At 1PM, another trainer would come and bring her to the small kitchenette down the hall. They had no intention of domesticating the ‘couple’, but she was learning to be a woman- of course the Men would have her start in the kitchen. She would learn very simple meals that could feed a fully grown man, and usually had something light for lunch herself. The men brought her the other 2 meals a day. At 3PM she would have lessons on ‘Womanhood’. At least that’s what she called it. A trainer would come in and teach her a never-ending list of rules that she had to follow in order to be a ‘lady’. It reminded her of an old Barbie movie she would watch when she was little. There was a song called ‘To Be a Princess’, where a poor girl learned how to act proper. Once she started seeing herself as that princess, the days got a little easier. Some days, they would go over how to sit and lie down like a lady. Others, they would walk laps around the halls open to her, reviewing how to walk on the balls of her feet. She learned to talk in short sentences with excellent manners, and how to brush her hair, so she could look more presentable for her Soldat.

Over the years of compliance, the trainers softened on her just as the watchers had. Of course, they were still horrible people, but they knew she was a kind girl at heart and wouldn’t cause trouble. Some days, she would be made to sit perfectly still with a stack of books on her head, while her trainer would tell her something silly happening outside the walls of the building that became her home. She learned little bits of information about their lives, music, art. But never anything political or having to do with who the Men even worked for. That was strictly forbidden. They would let her color in her free time. Sometimes a watcher would bring a book from his home for her to read, and when she was old enough, she was given a few colors of yarn and started knitting sweaters and scarves on plastic needles. She didn’t have a clock, but she would learn by the rotating shifts of her watchers what time of day it was.

There were children whose lives sucked more than hers. And for that, she was grateful.

When she got older (let’s say 18), the training started to change. She never knew what day it was, or even what year. She had stopped keeping track so long ago, but the changes were made gradually. She would be made to read books on intimacy, and then watch videos of men brutally ravishing ladies about her size. She had to learn what to do to please her Soldat, without being taught physically. This made her happy. The thought of any of the watchers or trainers doing that to her made her sick. And everyone thought it was in her best interest to be completely innocent to the touch of a man when she has her first encounter with the Soldat.

Which turned out exactly as planned. But on the day Steve and Sam plucked her out of her bedroom, she was not expecting the Soldat to be sitting right in front of her. In all his glory.

The quinjet was eerily silent for all of seven seconds before Clint had the audacity to continue the conversation he started.

“You make the soldier happy?” was the best the shocked man could come up with.

“I haven’t met him yet, but I’m ready. They made me ready for him.” y/n said with bright, hopeful eyes. Her words flowed so easily, they sounded rehearsed.

“Do we tell her?” Tony asked Steve, who was getting greener by the second. He couldn’t believe he just got his best friend back, not two weeks ago, and now he has to worry about a girl who’s obsessed with said best friend.

“I don’t think we really have a choice.” Steve replied, taking a deep breath. The whole quinjet looked like they were holding their breath. y/n still didn’t know the names of the three men on the opposite side of the quinjet. Two of them standing together, pausing their conversation, and the brooding man, who everyone keeps looking at.

“y/n, meet Bucky.” Steve said, pointing at the man across from her. But ‘Bucky’ went completely over her head- the name being unfamiliar to her.

“Hello, sir. Pleased to meet you.” She said, offering a genuine smile, but clearly not picking up what Steve was putting down. Clint chimed in again, wanting to be out of his confused misery.

“Wait a second. Y/n. You mean the soldier, as in the Winter Soldier?” Y/n immediately nodded at hearing that name. She knew her Soldat went by that name. “As in that guy right there?”

Her eyes went wide at the realization. He was sitting right in front of her. Staring at her since the minute she stepped onto the plane. And he was gorgeous. Long hair, thick thighs, piercing blue eyes, and a jaw that could probably cut glass. But he looked upset. Pissed really, and that scared her. She had one job: Make the Soldat happy. And there she was, barely presentable. She hadn’t even addressed him properly, how she was taught. With all the eyes on her, she felt a blush rush through her whole body at the embarrassing thought. But she had to. He wouldn’t like her if she didn’t follow the rules she grew up with.

Y/n daintily stood up and walked until she was right in front of Bucky. He held her eye contact the entire way, still not having said one word during this whole exchange. She gently knelt down until she was on her knees in front of him.

“I hope I can make you happy, my Soldat. I am a gift from the Men who take care of us, and I am entirely yours.” Bucky’s jaw twitched. He hadn’t said anything this whole time, but his mind was moving at lightning speed. He watched this gorgeous, barely dressed girl sit across from him, and was already in awe. But then that girl got on her knees and declared her loyalty to him? In front of everyone he knows? He couldn’t lie to himself, he’d never been more turned on. But everything about this was wrong. She was just a Stockholm Syndrome’d girl who wanted to follow orders. But her orders were to make him happy. He finally broke eye contact with her to see Tony’s shocked face looking over at Bruce and Thor, to make sure he’s not hallucinating this.

“Y/n, you should stand up.” He said to her in a hushed tone. Probably harsher than he meant to. He could see her visibly take a breath at the sound of his voice, his eyes followed the gentle slope of her neck down to her breast. She dreamed for years about what his voice would sound like, and it just rolled over her. But she quickly obeyed and stood in front of his seat. He expected her to say something else, but she was silent then. Her previous outburst was one of the few exceptions to her ‘only talk when spoken to’ rule. “What do you want? Where is your family so we can take you home?” He asked her. She could feel the tears well up in her eyes. He didn’t want her was all she could assume. She was made for him, so why was he turning her away?

“I want to make you happy, sir. It’s all I want. Please let me be good for you. I promise, I’ll be so good for you.” Begging was familiar to her from her studies. She didn’t expect to be begging for her to be able to please him, but she would do whatever it took to get him to keep her.

“No. Y/n. This isn’t right. You were being kept there, whatever Hydra told you to do is over. You’re free now.” The tears flowed freely down her cheeks and it broke his heart. She tried to cover her face with her hands. He didn’t want to see her cry, nor did he want to turn her away, but he also couldn’t just let her be his sex slave. It wasn’t right.

“Please don’t be sad. This is for the best-” He tried to reason with her, but when he took her hand off her face so she would look at him, the contact only made her sob harder. This was all she wanted.

“Buck, I think we should just let her sit for a minute. Can you grab her some water? Tony and I will try to figure out where she was from.” Steve said to Bucky- trying to end this painful and awkward situation. Bucky stood and walked to another area of the quinjet. He was grateful to be able to use this time to think.

“Y/n, we’re gonna need your help to get you home okay. What’s your last name? How old are you?”

“Y/L/N” And then she went quiet. It never occurred to her that she didn’t know how old she was. Of course, she remembered her birthday, but she couldn’t tell the weeks and months apart, so she hadn’t celebrated it since she turned 10 in 2006. “What year is it?”

“When did they take you?” Steve asked gently. Being a man from another time, he could remember well the day he woke up in 2011 when it was supposed to be 1944. He knew how jarring it was to discover all the time that’s been lost, and wanted to spare her that grief.

“2006. I was 10.” She looked at him, and she could tell it’s not just 2008 by the look on his face. She knew her body went through changes over her time with the Men, but between the ‘dietary supplements’ they gave her, and the fact that she wasn’t looking in a mirror- much less shopping for clothes- she didn’t realize she had fully completed puberty.

“Y/n, it’s 2016. You’re 20 now.” And that made the tears come harder. But she wasn’t so upset about the 10 years of her life. She was mad at 20 years of her life wasted. Since Bucky didn’t want her, all of the training was for nothing. She knew living for him made her the definition of a broken person- she wasn’t dumb. The idea of her Soldat was what grounded her all that time. When she was lonely, she’d think about the man the Men always tell her about. They told her how he was their ‘greatest asset’. And she often fantasized about if he would fall in love with her. So by the time she met him, she had already been in love with him for much longer than she’d care to admit- which makes the heartbreak of rejection hurt that much more.

Unfortunately for Bucky, his heart was heavy too. He tucked away into the tiny bed area on the jet after quickly handing Steve the water to give to y/n. It was too much. Being in that room with her, she looked at him like he hung the moon. But he most certainly had not. He was a murderer. Tony’s father was a scientist during the war, and Bucky knew him pretty well through Steve. And he killed him. He had scattered memories of hurting dozens of people, so why would she be so willing to be with someone like him?

Part of him wanted it. After almost a century of not owning anything and not having a choice, he was given the opportunity to have something that belonged only to him. A gift from the men who take care of us. If it wasn’t cruel, he would have laughed in her face. Maybe she was taken care of, but he most certainly wasn’t. She was brought in young enough to still be under the impression that Hydra wasn’t evil, just strict. He imagined for a minute how things could have turned out for the two of them if he hadn’t gotten free. If Hydra really was planning on giving him a gift. He didn’t like the last gift they gave him in the shape of an arm, but y/n was perfect. She was the perfect size for him- although his broad frame could dwarf most women. And her smile pulled at his heart.

He wanted to kiss her the minute he saw her. He knew he wanted to make her his.

And that was bad.

He rubbed his hand over his face and decided to rejoin the group in the middle of their conversation. Thor and Bruce decided to stop being passive members of the conversation and introduced themselves. Y/n was very confused at Thor’s proclamation as ‘God of Thunder’, but with all that was happening, she didn’t feel it was her place to question it.

“- a good thing we have spare rooms at the compound. You can stay as long as you like.” Tony finished speaking to y/n just as Bucky was walking into the room. “We’re gonna have a new house guest MC.” He waggled his eyebrows at the man who caught the back half of that conversation.

Bucky’s jaw dropped. This would only make the situation much harder than it needed to be. He looked to Steve for an explanation. The blond stood up and made his way over to Bucky.

“Look, Hydra scrubbed her records off of every database and-” He took a deep sigh, “Her family is dead, Buck. They probably killed them after they took her.”

Then it was Bucky’s turn to sigh. He knew the right thing to do was to help her, but he also knew how much he wanted to feel her soft skin in his hands. And that made her dangerous to be around.

What nobody knew was why Hydra took the 10 year old from Georgia. In 2006, the Winter Soldier was sent on a mission to kill a scientist that lived there. Of course the poor guy didn’t have a chance when the Soldier was sitting in his house, waiting for him when he got home, but what the Soldier wasn’t expecting was a little girl to be coming inside with him. The scientist looked sleazy and didn’t have any children, so who knows what would have happened to her if the Soldier didn’t get there in time. She screamed and cried. The comm in his ear commanded him to kill the girl for being a witness. But the part of the Soldier that was still Bucky wanted her to be safe. He shushed the little girl and asked her for her address. When she recited it to him, he rubbed her head and told her she was a good girl, before he dug his metal fingers into the child’s pressure points and she fell limp into his arms. y/n woke up in her bed, crying at the bad dream she must have had- her mother not even home yet. That was the first act of defiance Hydra ever experienced from the Winter Soldier. First sign of humanity and compassion. They knew if the mind control was getting weaker, he would be harder to control next time they unfroze him, but his protective nature of the girl would make her an asset to them.

Her capture was arranged before his heart was fully frozen in the chamber. Neither Bucky nor y/n remembered this- Bucky only remembering parts of his time under their control, and y/n never thinking about that bad dream again, but the connection was still there as strong as it was that day 10 years ago.

Part 3

#bucky #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky x y/n #stucky #james buchanan bucky barnes #the avengers #steve rodgers smut #bucky imagine #bucky fanfic #dark!bucky barnes #dark!lee bodecker #lee bodecker smut #bucky fluff #chubby!bucky #winter soldier smut #winter solider x reader

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seymour-butz-stuff · 3 years

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Mike Answers All Your Vaccine Fears

1. “I don’t trust this vaccine. Its development was rushed and it didn’t go through the proper trials and testing. I’m not against medicine. I trust aspirin because it’s been around for over a hundred years. This vaccine hasn’t even existed for a year.” THE TRUTH: Work on this vaccine began back in 2003 during the SARS virus outbreak. Scientists knew even before, in the 1980s, that coronaviruses were going to happen more often. So they got to work on inventing what would become a vaccine known as mRNA. This vaccine has been in development for at least 18 years! THIS IS NOT A NEW THING. When Covid-19 appeared in December of 2019, the scientists were ready and standing by with the vaccine elements. They knew something like this was coming. All they needed was the genetic structure of this particular virus. A brave Chinese doctor constructed its sequencing in his lab and, without the permission of his government, he then shared it with the world. It was all our coronavirus scientists needed to begin the trials of the vaccine they’d been working on for EIGHTEEN YEARS. Those trials began immediately and ran for nearly all of 2020. Because of the ways modern medicine and science have improved in this new century (did you know in the Covid vaccine you’re getting, there is NO speck of the Covid virus in it!) we were already equipped to bring Covid-19 to a halt. Except for one thing science couldn’t predict…

2. “I, and millions like me, do NOT trust the government.” THE TRUTH: Ugh. On this one, you are right. You should NEVER trust this government, that government, any government. One of my favorite quotes from the legendary investigative reporter I. F. Stone is, “All governments are run by liars and nothing they say should be believed.” If you are Native American, you don’t need me or anyone else to tell you that. If you are African American — my God, again, the list of lies and deception and cruelty is endless. White people need to be taught in school about the Tuskegee experiments, about James Sims, the lauded “father of modern gynecology,” who performed brutal experimental surgeries without anesthesia on enslaved African women in the 1800s.

And on and on. White people, do not think less of any Black person (or any person of color) who is skeptical of this vaccine. They have a 400-year history of knowing that the last person they should automatically trust is Whitey. Dr. Whitey. Scientist Whitey. Whitey in a Lab Coat. Officer Whitey. CEO Whitey. Nightly News Anchor Whitey. President Whitey. In his Whitey House.

It is painful now to see how our racist legacy has manifested itself during this pandemic: Covid-19 has killed 102,000 Black Americans — 20% more than the rate at which white people die. The white supremacists must be loving this. I join with my fellow citizens who are Black in fighting this virus that seeks to kill them first.

3. “I don’t trust the pharmaceutical companies nor do I trust the entire for-profit health care industry. I’m not taking something they tell me to take.”

THE TRUTH: I trust them less than you do. I made a film about these bastards (“Sicko”). Greed runs in their veins. Because our political and corporate leaders have constructed a society that has enabled two-thirds of us to live an unhealthy life, their brethren, the devils in the health care industry, have made trillions from our illness, our disabilities, our infirmities. They need us sick so that we spend money on ways to stay alive. They DON’T want us cured because where’s the profit in that?

Yet in the case of Covid, they really don’t want so, so many of us so dead. Dead men and women don’t need a plethora of costly prescriptions. Dead men and women don’t shop at Walmart and they don’t order from Amazon. Other than the overpriced casket, there is not much profit that comes from death. In the case of the pandemic, they need the citizenry alive to do the backbreaking work for slave wages — and then spend every dime of those wages so all that loot makes it back into the pockets of the one-percent. There are now nearly 700,000 dead Americans who aren’t spending anything! Corporate America needs this disease to go away. Yes, the stock market has set records, and yes, the real estate market is bananas. But the rich have learned this is only good in the short term. They need Covid to stop killing us so they can be the ones to get back to killing us — but killing us their way — slowly — very, very, very slowly. Like 70 years slowly. Squeeze every last bit of work out of us before the arthritis sets in and our only contribution to making them wealthier is our weekly purchases of adult diapers and canned pineapple.

The way to beat the rich and stop their scam is not for us to refuse the shot and die before our time. We need to live long enough so that we can imagine their proverbial heads on the spikes that line the wall at the city’s limits. Take the shot. Both of them. Live to see the day.

4. “Trump’s inaction caused the spread of this disease — and then he tried to rush these vaccines through in order to help himself win the election. This is the ‘Trump Vaccine’ — I don’t want it in MY body!”

THE TRUTH: The top ten states with the highest rates of Covid death are all the ultra-red Trump states. That’s not how you win elections — by killing off your own voters. But he did it. Actually, the number of votes he barely lost Georgia, Arizona and Wisconsin by - together, 44,000 - he helped kill more than that in those three states combined (52,000 deaths). No, the “Trump Vaccine“ was never his. Just like he didn’t “own the tallest building in NYC after 9/11,” nor was he ever “a billionaire.“ Get this vaccine, invented in part by a brilliant, persistent woman, Katalin Kariko, a scientist who was ignored for 20 years — she created this for us. Not Trump.

5. “So many people have died from the vaccine!” TRUTH: No, they haven’t. To spread this lie is to be an accessory to murder. That’s not you. Right?

6. “My religion won’t let me take the vaccine.” THE TRUTH: Yes it will. God — all gods — not only approve of the Covid vaccine, He is the one who made it! Remember your lessons: GOD CREATED EVERYTHING! That’s why it says “Creator” on his CV. Take God’s gift into your upper arm and praise Jesus. Because, if you walk around unvaccinated, you will kill people. And that carries with it an eternal sentence of hellfire and damnation. C’mon! Stop hiding behind “religion.” NOT A SINGLE RELIGION, NOT A SINGLE DENOMINATION IN THE WORLD SAYS THIS VACCINE IS A SIN! Get your shots so we can party in heaven on earth!

7. “I have a medical/health condition that my doctor says I shouldn’t get the vaccine.”

THE TRUTH: No, you don’t. We now know there is no medical condition that prevents you from getting the vaccine. Stop with the “I’ve got a note from my doctor” bullshit. Get the damn vaccine — or you risk the chance of REALLY needing a doctor. Calm down. Relax. We love you. I’ll take you to Walgreens myself and hold your hand for those three seconds. Let’s live. Let’s not kill. Let’s be part of a world we are now going to fix and save.

Together.

If everyone is vaccinated, this virus is toast. If we don’t get everyone vaccinated, this much I’ve learned:

#covid #coronavirus #vaccine #vaccines #anti vax #anti-vax #antivaxx #antivax #anti mask #anti-mask #antimask #vaccination #vaccinations #pandemic #plandemic #covid-19

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andromedasstarship · 3 years

Text

in the stars - chapter 2

photo credits - @ssahotchnerr

pairing - aaron hotchner x reader

warnings - canon-typical criminal minds violence, show rating 16+ for reference. depictions of violence, stalking, murder, angst, age gap couple, language

summary - You and Aaron reunite, but it’s not exactly anything to celebrate over. The case moves forward, but you really wish it hadn’t like this.

a/n - no one is allowed to call me out on my lack of LA/california geographical knowledge. ive also started including readers mental thought train which is italicized (flashbacks will also be in italics, but ill always properly mark a flashback). if you arent tagged but asked, just send another ask/reply! i mustve missed it on accident.

blog rules

masterlist // read it on ao3 here

chapter 1 // chapter 3

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Chapter 2

Aaron Hotchner was standing in front of you. Impeccable, not even a slight crease in his shoes and suit pressed to perfection. He still smelled faintly like cedar, a thought you quickly tried to send away; it was too late though, already remembering how pitiful it was post breakup, when you would smell the shirts he left at your house, a desperate attempt to remember that he existed in your life. You’d spent hours, days even, thinking about how you’d react if you were ever to see Aaron in person again. At the top of the list was screaming at him, really giving him a piece of your mind for leaving the way he did. Or, maybe you’d be cool and composed, the epitome of maturity and ‘I’m Totally Over You’. You’d even considered completely ignoring him, not even giving him a second glance. Instead you were frozen to the spot, staring up at the man who broke your heart.

Pulling your eyes away from him, they darted towards the gap between his body and outside, internally debating if you’d be able to somehow sneak around him. As if he could read your mind, not like you had been particularly subtle, he moved to close the gap before you had the chance to fully formulate an escape.

“Y/N,” he tried again, voice a bit firmer this time around. It’d be better if he couldn’t speak. But then again he had such a beautiful voice-. No, you mentally clamped down on that thought before it could lead you down another rabbit hole. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you, uh, what?” You asked, hyper aware of how mousy you must’ve sounded.

“That someone was murdering women that looked like you. You should’ve called my team sooner, it was irresponsible to put yourself at further risk of-”

“Are you trying to imply that this is somehow my fault, Agent Hotchner?” The words felt bitter on your tongue. It wasn’t like you, to suddenly be so quick to anger. Years in the spotlight had taught you to hold your tongue, but Aaron’s words managed to cut right through.

“That’s not what I’m saying, you know that-,” he tried to interject, but you weren’t going to back down so easy.

“I know what Agent? Please, tell me the acceptable response to this situation,” you spat out at him, finding a brief enjoyment in the way his face scrunched up ever so slightly. “The police were working on the case, I’ve dealt with weirdos before.” Aaron opened his mouth again as if to speak, but you weren’t finished, “You really think I believed you’d answer if I called?”

His face fell at that and you felt some form of internal victory swell in your chest. Y/N 1 point, Aaron Hotchner 0. The victory was short lived though, as you came to the realization that the two of you were still in a very public setting.

“I’m not going to fight with you Agent, I suggest you get back to your team.” With that you shoved your way past him, stomping the entire way to your car. It was a shame, the way the anger and sadness was consuming you, maybe if it hadn’t, this time you would’ve noticed the clicking coming from the tree line.

----

Hotch wished you had been angry; it would’ve been easier to handle you if you had been screaming in his face or throwing low-blow comments his way. He could deal with anger. It’d be easier if he could pretend that you were being completely out of line and could warrant being ignored for the rest of the case.

That wasn’t you though, and he knew this. He didn’t have to be a profiler to see and hear the way you struggled to hold yourself together. He didn’t need to be a profiler to feel how disappointed you were with him. Hotch didn’t know how to deal with this or you. Even though it had been months, had he truly fallen so far from your graces; was your opinion so lowly of him now?

Hotch wasn’t sure which was worse to stomach, the fact that you had such little faith in him or the deep rooted feeling in his gut that told him you were right- had you called him unannounced two months ago, he wouldn’t have picked up the phone.

----

You sat in your car for twenty minutes, at least. It was pitiful, the way you were crying in your car, to a sad playlist, over a guy who hurt your feelings; it felt like high school all over again. In the moment, you had felt good, the way you watched Aaron’s face twist and fall at your words giving you some sick form of satisfaction.

It’s not like you had lied to him or anything. You hadn’t even stretched the truth for ultimate impact. The whole overly formal ‘Agent’ thing was definitely on purpose though. No, you had meant every word you said to Aaron, especially about not believing he’d answer if you called. What would you have even said if you called and he did pick up? Hi Aaron, remember me? Good, anyway hope you’re doing well but I think I have a murderous stalker, can you help? Actually, that’s probably exactly how the conversation would’ve gone, but that’s beside the point.

The point was that even if you could trust the Unit Chief of the BAU to do his job, you weren’t sure you could trust Aaron Hotchner anymore.

----

When you finally did muster up the courage to return to the conference room, you really wished you hadn’t. You should’ve just turned your car on and left. Was it possible to ghost the FBI? You’d heard enough stories from Aaron about how their tech wizard had found people with just a single loose thread, there was definitely no way you were going to make some spy like disappearance.

Aaron wasn’t in the room, something you were grateful for in the moment. But what you weren’t grateful for was how the team had managed to set up multiple bulletin boards in your absence; filled with your photo, crime scene photos, the dead women and your personal least favorite, the dead women’s bodies.

Of course, you knew what was going on, you were a big girl, well old enough to understand and process the gravity of the situation. But you’d only seen photos of the women alive, with personality and humanity; something about that made them look less like you and more like them. Looking at them now- dead, eyes closed, faces tilted away from the camera- these women didn’t just look like you, they were you.

You hadn’t even realized you were drifting closer to one of the boards until you felt a hand pull at the crook of your elbow. Turning your head ever so slightly you saw JJ, giving you one of her nice looks again.

“Y/N, you don’t need to see these,” JJ started, already pulling you in the opposite direction. You were about to agree, head already halfway to a full nod when you noticed something from the corner of your eye.

“Wait!” You exclaimed, pulling your arm back and getting right in front of a photo of victim #2. You very gently pulled the photo of the wall and held it closely in front of your face. Were you allowed to move it? Oh well. You felt the rest of the team’s eyes burning holes through your back so you turned to face them. “I, um, I’m pretty sure the sweater she’s wearing is mine.” You said, voice coming out as a whisper.

The team certainly seemed to liven up at that statement. Even though they hadn’t even been in LA for a full 24 hours yet, it was obvious from the start that LAPD hadn’t been lacking on the case, rather the unsub was just that good. They reported no evidence from any dump sites,- and now those sites had been contaminated far too much to double check- there had been no witnesses for any of the abductions, and the unsub hadn’t attempted any contact with Y/N; all in all, they had nothing.

“Y/N, are you sure?” Emily asked, she was quickly pulling photos of the other three women down, bringing them over to the roundtable. “Are the women in these photos wearing anything else you recognize?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m sure. There’s a little hole right there, on the side, the threads were pretty loose and I got stuck on a doorknob once, ripped it right open. I couldn’t find it when I went to fix it, just assumed I threw it away and forgot.” You said quietly, moving your way to the table. Your brain wasn’t working properly, hadn’t quite yet come to the conclusion that the rest of the agents already reached. He had gotten into your house. “Oh my god.” You whispered, voice shaking. “He was in my house, wasn’t he?”

The agents all looked down at you with sympathetic gazes before Emily finally spoke up again. “We can’t be sure just yet, but I need you to look at these photos and tell me if you recognize anything else okay? Can you do that for me?”

You nodded, making your way over to the table and taking a seat. You were well aware one of the agents just called for Hotch, but you couldn’t be bothered with that right now.

----

“Hotch,” Derek said, his voice urgent as he rounded the corner, interrupting whatever conversation Hotch was having with a random officer, “Y/N recognized the sweater victim #2 was wearing at the dumpsite as hers. Emily’s showing her the rest of the photos and it’s looking like the unsub left something of hers on each one.”

That certainly got Hotch’s attention. He didn’t need Derek to fill in the blank, the unsub had been in your house. His fists tightened at his side and he couldn’t help the way his face twisted in anger. In this state, Derek knew better than to question this unusually personal reaction, instead just angling his body back towards the conference room. He didn’t even have a chance to open his mouth before Hotch brushed past him, making his way back to you.

----

Starting with a photo of victim #1, you very slowly pulled it closer in front of you. Oh my god, her neck. Obviously, you’ve seen bruises before, been on a whole bunch of film sets that used makeup to create some pretty gory pieces, but nothing like this. The unsub didn’t just stangle these women, it was like he wanted to completely crush their throats.

One of the agents behind you was questioning your ability to stomach this, so you quickly forced yourself to focus. It was the least you could do for these poor women, just give them your undivided attention for ten minutes, and then you could deal with everything else later.

Your finger traced over the bracelet victim #1 was wearing. “This is mine. There’s a singular heart engraved on the back of the third diamond’s plating. I bought it for myself after I got cast in my first big role, cried for weeks when I ‘lost’ it.”

“And what about this one?” Emily asked, gently pulling victim #1’s photo away from you and replacing it with #4. You didn’t miss the way she turned the photos you’d already looked at upside down, as if to further shield you from them. Nor did you miss that she was technically skipping victim #3.

It didn’t take you long to notice what was yours on victim #4. “It’s the dress, it’s really comfy, I used to wear it a lot, like a lot a lot. I brought it with me so often on trips I just assumed it got left in a hotel room somewhere.”

Emily nodded, taking back that photo and turning it over as well. You could see her hesitation in showing you victim #3, but she slid it across the table to you as well. Her fingertips ghosting on the edge of the photo, ready to pull it back as soon as you gave an answer.

Victim #3 was tough. She looked the most like you, both when she was alive and certainly the way she looked now.

You took a sharp intake of breath as you looked down at her the first thing that caught your eye was the necklace. Most certainly yours and most certainly the one that Aaron had given you for your three year anniversary. You realized it was lost a few months after the breakup and nearly tore your house apart looking for it; you didn’t have many things from your relationship with Aaron to prove he was once part of your life, making the few things you did have all the more important. “The necklace, there’s an A engraved on the back and I’m pretty sure those shoes are mine too.” Emily swept the photo back and out of view as soon as the last words left your lips.

“JJ, get those items out of evidence immediately so we can be absolutely sure,” Hotch ordered. Aaron. You hadn’t even realized he had walked into the room, you turned to look at him, eyes wide with sadness and fear. The tears that were beginning to form tugged viciously on his heart. “Miss L/N, my team and I are going to escort you back to your home and we’re going to need to canvas it for signs of entry and identify if anything else is missing. Is that okay?” He asked, his voice soft with something most of the members couldn’t place.

You simply nodded at that, glad that you wouldn’t have to be alone, “Do you need my address, or will you just follow my car?” There was definitely humor in that, Aaron already knew exactly where you lived and the code to get through the gates.

“Your address is already in our files, but for your safety we’ll be following close behind.” He assured you. The rest of the team was jumping into action, grabbing their personal belongings along with copious amounts of gloves and bags you assumed would be for potential evidence.

As you all exited the building and entered your respective vehicles, it was Reid who realized where he’d heard that softness in Hotch’s voice before. It was the same tone he used to use with Hayley, back when things were good.

----

Your house wasn’t far and it was a drive you knew well; grateful for the ability to somewhat distract yourself on the road. The gatesman to your development gave you a real odd look when you told him the two black SUV’s filled with FBI agents were with you, but you couldn’t care less about which neighbor he might spread that info too. Did you see? L/N brought in the FBI, wonder what she’s caught up in. At least all the neighbors and workers had signed airtight NDAs, no one was allowed to talk to any outsiders about the personal happenings of their fellow residents.

Your house was towards the top of the hill, with a great overlook to the ocean. You had only been 20 when you bought the house and you viewed it as the ultimate achievement of all your hard work and determination. You couldn't shake the bad taste in your mouth as you pulled up the driveway. The house felt tainted now, something you were never sure you’d be able to shake.

----

Once again, not exactly how you imagined the entire team entering your house for the first time. Your house was extensive, as were the grounds; the team quickly realized they would probably be here for the rest of the day and well into the night.

You were standing awkwardly in the middle of your foyer, unsure of how to exactly approach this situation. “So, there’s about 10 rooms in the house, not including the kitchen and general living spaces, as well with the basement which is technically one big room. I made maps once as a joke, I think I have some in the office, if you wanted those? Or we could do one big house tour and you can break off that way,” you were so rambling, but them being in your house and why they were in your house was setting in, “or you can just go off however you want-”

“Miss L/N,” JJ said, there was that nice look again, “why don’t you show me around the house so I can get a base level understanding of everything there is. The rest of my team will go start a basic canvas of the inside and the grounds as well.” Thank you JJ.

You nodded at this, glad that someone else was taking control of the situation. Before you could lead JJ towards the kitchen, your phone started to ring, startling you. When did you get this skittish?

“My friend is calling,” you said, holding up your phone, “I gotta take this, I was supposed to meet him for coffee a few minutes ago.” You excused yourself, quickly making your way to an empty room away from the rest of the team. Your friend was annoyed at your more than last minute cancellation, but luckily he didn’t pry too hard and accepted your flimsy “I’m not feeling too well’ excuse on the first go.

“I know, I’m sorry, but I promise I’ll make it up to you as soon as I feel better. Yeah, I love you too. I gotta go, bye.” As you hung up, you could feel a gaze burning into the back of your head. Turning around, you found Aaron staring down at you from the doorway. How long had he been there?

“You should have told us about your boyfriend sooner. Trying to protect him from questioning will only-”

“I don’t have a boyfriend,” you exclaimed, a bit too hurriedly, “I, uh, I’m not seeing anyone at all actually, haven’t in a while.” Smooth.

Aaron was smart enough to read through the lines and understand what you had left unsaid. His gaze didn’t give up, but you could’ve swore you saw relief somewhere in his eyes. You weren’t sure if you were supposed to say something, or if he was supposed to say something, or should you walk out, or-

“Neither have I.” Hotch’s voice broke through your thoughts, but just as quickly as he said it, he turned on his heel and left you alone in the room.

----

a/n - if anyone is wondering ive 100% cried multiple times at how kind and supportive everyone has been with me about this story. we’re only 2 chapters in but im already sad for it to end. yes i 100% have a bunch of other wip ideas for hotch. anywaaaaaaay, replies/asks/comments/reblogs/likes always appreciated! thank you so much for reading

Taglist: @mac99martin @iwaizumiee @kylorendrip @hqtchner @lieswithoutfairytales @ssahoodrathotchner @midsummernightdream @weasleylovers @evans-dejong @itsmytimetoodream @yoshigguk @28cnn @cuddlyklaus @hotch-meeeeeuppppp

no permission is given to republish or upload my fics anywhere else. if you see this story not on my tumblr or ao3 it is stolen work. i do not own criminal minds or any of the characters involved

#aaron hotchner x reader #hotchner x reader #hotch #aaron hotchner #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds #'stori writes #in the stars

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sweeethinny · 4 years

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FIC COLLECTION

First of all, I'd like to say that here are all my fics - at least the ones that I tagged correctly and managed to find - and since there are many, I had to put them all bellow the cut, I hope it gets better this way :)

The fanfics with ** in front, are fanfics that I wrote recently

HP HEADCANON

HAPPY HOUR - HBP MISSING MOMENTS: One of Hinny's happy hours during HBP (T)

THE LAST MOMENT: What happened the day before Harry left - for the last time - with Dumbledore (M)

CHRISTMAS MAGIC: It's Hinny's first Christmas after the Battle, and they find a different way to celebrate (M) AO3

WHERE’S HARRY AND GINNY? : Harry and Ginny have spent some time away, so when they finally have time alone, they enjoy it until the last moment. (M) AO3

**LAST NAME: ‘I will be Mrs. Potter finally. You will no longer be the only Potter in the world. How do you feel about that? Ready to share your last name?’ (T) AO3

LAZY DAY: It's just a lazy day at the Potter house (G)

**PETITE: 'I read in a gossip newspaper that said that you are too big for me.’ (G)

THROUGH OTHER EYES: We see them... but through other eye (T)

COMFORT: Harry was never hugged or comforted after a nightmare, so when one of the children asks for it, he doesn't quite know what to do. (G)

GREEN EYES: Ginny always wondered what was behind those green eyes. (G)

SUCCUMBING: Harry can't get his beautiful and creative wife out of his mind. (M)

THE FIRST TIME OF THREE: How Harry found out he was going to be a dad. for the first time (G) THE SECOND TIME OF THREE: How Harry found out he would be a father a second time (G) THE THIRD TIME OF THREE: How Harry found out he would be a father a third time (G) AO3

TELLING THE NEWS: Harry knows that now more than anything, he cannot die, not when he will become a father, and for that, he needs to tell Ron the news (G)

GIN-GIN IS THE BEST: Gin-Gin is the best godmother Teddy could have (T)

THE FIRST POTTER: The first - of three - Potter babies to be born! (T)

**SKIN: Harry wanted to be able to show Ginny, through his eyes, how beautiful she is, and how all this insecurity with her body after giving birth to James is not necessary. Since he cannot do this, he tries in other ways. (T) AO3

**FEAR: 'Doesn’t it bother you?’ Ginny looked at him. 'Doesn’t it bother you to think that… that the world is so big and everything is so much bigger than James? That we are like two giants to him? Our garden must seem infinite through his eyes.’ (G)

JAMES AND HIS 15TH MONTH BIRTHDAY: Ginny is distraught when she realizes that her son will be 15 months old. The same age when Harry became an orphan (T)

THERE’S STILL A LOT OF SPACE: James Sirius is growing up, and Ginny wonders if there is still room for her, in his heart (G) (FLUFFFFF)

JAMES’S SICK: James is sick, and this is disturbing Harry's peace (G)

**GOLDEN DRESS: 'I feel like today is going to be different,’ Ginny promised, holding Harry’s hand and making him look at her. ‘And maybe we can do everything you wanted to do when you saw me in the gold dress for the first time?’ (T)

DEVIL IN DISGUISE: Ginny talks like an angel, walks like an angel, and acts like an angel. But Harry knows that she is the Devil in Disguise (T)

HARRY'S PROMOTION: “You know that if I’m getting this promotion, it’s thanks to you, don’t you?” (T)

**DISNEY: Draco and Astoria go to Disneyland, and Draco proves to be a man who doesn't like roller coasters (G) AO3

**THE COUPLE OF THE YEAR: The two were arm in arm, walking in silence like two kings, without even seeming to notice that everyone stopped to watch them pass (G)

HAPPY B-DAY GINNY POTTER: On Ginny's 39th birthday, she couldn't be happier to be alive. (G)

HARRY’S PENSIEVE: James S. travels through his father's saddest memories (T) (TRIGGERS FOR: DEPRESSION, DEATH, BLOOD, SELF-MUTILATION)

HARRY IT’S SUCH A GOOD FATHER: Harry can’t say no to his children, especially when they are bored (G)

MOM’S ADVICE: James has questions to ask, and who better than his mother to help him? (G) (cofcof my favorite by far cofcof)

BECAUSE IT’S THE GODFATHER’S JOB: Ron has a mission as a godfather, and he couldn't leave his godson helpless (T) PART II

I MUST NOT TELL LIES: Just a normal Potter day, when Lily Luna asked about Harry’s scar (G)

THE WORST / BEST BIRTHDAY: Some things have changed since he was 12 and lived with the Dursleys. Harry now has a family, and birthdays are not so lonely anymore (G) AO3

**INTIMATE PROBLEMS: ‘Harry.’ Teddy cried when Harry opened the door to their room, still wearing his pajamas and looking sleepy. If it weren’t for the look of panic, he would have thought the boy was sleeping on his feet. ‘My balls hurt.’ (T)

TEDDY IS DISCOVERED: Bill can be an understanding and calm guy ... but that doesn’t include when his daughter is with someone hiding in the room (ted x victorie) (T)

HARRY IS THE BEST FATHER: Moments in the life of James and Harry, where Harry proved to be the best father (T)

STILL INTO YOU: Some things just make sense, and even after all this time I'm into you... Baby not a day goes by that I'm not into you (M)

ADVICES: James Sirius makes an urgent call with his father; he needs loving advice. (G) AO3

**MISTLETOE: How could he find his best friend beautiful? How was he capable of that? (G) (James Sirius x OC)

**I’M SORRY: Mira was one of those fall that was worth it. (G) (James Sirius x OC)

**NO, I DON'T WANNA FALL IN LOVE: James Sirius faces his first broken heart (T) (James Sirius x OC)

**BAD NEWS: 'What happened?’ James asked.'The worst.’ Teddy said. ‘Vic is pregnant’ (T)

**KISSES: It felt so good to kiss him. Mira had already kissed other boys, and girls, but there was something about James that made him much better than everyone else (T) (James Sirius x OC)

JAMES IS DATING part 1 | 2: “James is dating.” Harry said, no longer holding on to the secret, remembering non-stop the scene of his son kissing the blonde warmly, in the back of their house. (T) AO3

I’M SORRY (Drastoria with a bit of Potters): Draco would do anything to see his son happy, even to apologize to ... someone. (G) (PART II)

GRADES: They are not at home when the bird arrives with James’ OWL grades.orJames Sirius is concerned about his future and the parents’ reaction to his idea (G) AO3

A PROTECTIVE FATHER: Harry is a concerned father, and when James decides to go to a party, he begins to doubt that that is the best option. (T)

ALBUS CAME OUT - PART I: Albus has something to say to James. Or, the one where Albus comes out gay to his brother and they have a conversation about it (T)

**BROTHERS: Albus and James' relationship over the years (T)

PLEEEASE?: Lily Luna just wants to be with his older brother and his 'cool' friends. Who could judge her? (G)

**INSECURITIES AND LONELINESS: Lily faces problems on her first year, problems that Ginny knows very well and knows that she will need to talk about - almost - everything about her own first year. Things are almost never easy in the beginning.(T) AO3

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HP AU

**JUST FRIENDS: 'Have you never been curious to know if you kiss well? Or if kissing a boy is different from kissing a girl?’ (T) (James x Sirius) AO3

EVEN AFTER THE END: They were alive. Right here, with Harry. Even after the end. (T)

IT’S CHRISTMAS!: It's Christmas and Harry can finally win the special gift that James kept so dearly (G)

**MUM: ‘Place your hand in mine,’ Lily said softly, ‘please hold my hand.’ (T) AO3

SIRIUS IS IN LOVE: "Do you always look at others like that?" (G)

NOBODY BUT YOU: For Sirius, at that moment, nothing the world exists but Hestia (M)

ALL ABOUT LOVE (SIRIUS X HESTIA): Sirius is this guy that everyone thinks kisses everyone, when in fact he is much more reserved and is afraid to connect with people. But then, when he starts going out with Hestia, he feels the happiest guy for the first time in ages (T)

DRUNK IN LOVE: ‘’I’m going to declare myself to her!’’ “You are drunk!” “Is there a better time than now?’’ (Jily + Sirius x Hestia) (T)

**ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS: 'I was the one who told him to be the secret keeper.’ Sirius sighed, his eyes watering, hugging her back and this time he hid his face in her chest. 'If they had died… Because of me.’ (Hestia x Sirius) (M)

BETTER THAN FIREWHISKY: What if Harry had realized that he loved Ginny in book five? (T)

FINALLY ALONE: ’You’re a big mama’s boy, aren’t you?“ She laughed. ‘’Lily taught you the rules well, thankfully you have me and I’m more than willing to distort you.’ (T)

TRICK OR TREAT, SWEETIE? : Halloween Special - Hinny faces a very unusual - and scary - situation on the night of the 31st (T)

WE WERE LISTENING TO THE WEEKND AND I HAD TO ASK YOU TO MARRY ME: There are things that need to be said at that moment (T)

**THE NUTCRACKER: All Harry wanted to do was take his daughter to watch The Nutcracker, but he didn't expect one of the dancers to mess with him so much. (T) AO3

**BOSS’S SON: Ginny is an auror in training, with few hours of fun in her schedule, but when one night she decides to go to a guy’s house and enjoy her youth, she is surprised by the discovery that she had sex with her boss’s son (T) AO3

**HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LILY!: Happy birthday to the woman who deserves all the happiness in the world. And for that, here’s an au where Jily lives, and Lily can celebrate her 61st birthday with her grandchildren and the whole family (G) (FLUUUUUF)

** HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PRONGS!: ‘Now who’s the old here?’ ‘It’s still you, Lils, you’re older than me… I’m like wine, every year better.’ Happy birthday my boy! (G)

REPUTATION: Harry and Ginny don't have the best reputations, which is exactly why the two get along so well. (M)

AO3 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

YOU’RE THE RIGHT ONE: James discovers that some friendships can be something more. He just doesn't know how to handle it all. (next gen hp) (M) AO3 | 1 | 2 |

A LITTLE PARTY NEVER KILLED NOBODY: Harry would let her end her life without even complaining (T)

EASY: “Easy” by Camilla Cabelo (T) PART II (T)

THE ONE: Because when Harry realizes that Ginny is The One, he needs to do something about it. Even if it is risky, because his godfather always alerts him; “What is a life without a little risk?” (T) 1 | 2

THE DUKE: Some time ago a prophecy was made, one that said about two powerful and strong souls who would be able to defeat even the strongest of wizards, bringing peace that the Wizarding World has not seen for centuries. But for that to happen, they would have to be entwined through marriage. Everything was going well, the children were born healthy and were promised to each other, until one of them was kidnapped. (M) AO3 | FF.NET. | SIYE | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | **8

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JILYTOBER

JILYTOBER: Trapped in a broom closet (T)

JILYTOBER: Lily denying she fancies James (T)

JILYTOBER: Jily first kiss (T) (part two of the prompt where Lily denying she likes James)

JILYTOBER: At a Quidditch Match (G)

JILYTOBER: [text] [2AM] “I’m here. Come outside” (M for just a small detail that no longer has T)

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PROMPT

PROMPT JILY: With your fantastic ability to get into trouble, it doesn’t shock me to find you here (T)

PROMPT JILY: This is a shitty idea, do you want my help? (G)

PROMPT JILY: I want more than all of this, I want longer than forever with you. I just wanna love you. And take you on dates. And fuck you. And hug you (T)

PROMPT JILY: Simply Jily Muggle, and big declarations of love - and a runaway bride (G)

PROMPT JILY: Banana pancakes by jack johnson (G)

PROMPT JILY: Just… just talk to me. Please (T)

PROMPT ROMIONE: Sleep, I promise tomorrow will be better (G)

PROMPT SIRIUS x HESTIA: Hestia realizes there’s more to Sirius than just a bad boy image (T)

PROMPT SIRIUS X HESTIA: Sirius/ Hestia as a couple in hogwarts (T)

PROMPT SIRIUS x HESTIA: Sirius and Hestia during the years at Hogwarts (T)

**PROMPT SIRIUS X HESTA: Closing his eyes and hiding under the cover like a child, Sirius allowed himself to be miserable. It was horrible to like someone, he thought, he would rather die than have to feel it again. (T)

PROMPT HINNY: I actually wanted to get your number…(G)

PROMPT HINNY: Do you always stare at others like that? (T)

PROMPT HINNY: A new caffe has been opened near his house and Harry is besotted with the red headed barista (T)

PROMPT HINNY: Ginny thinks they’re doing a great job keeping their house plants alive but actually, Harry has secretly replaced them with identical-looking fake plants so Ginny can’t kill them (G)

PROMPT HINNY: Kissing in a vehicle for lust (T) (with mild mentions of sex)

PROMPT HINNY: This is definitely not my most attractive moment, but I promise I really am fit (M)

PROMPT HINNY: (plus Romione) Let me explain. I was bored and you left me alone. (G)

PROMPT HINNY: What Ginny would smell in her Amortentia. (G)

PROMPT HINNY: Ootp Sirius accidentally stumbles upon Harry and Ginny talking and accidentally thinking that it’s Lily and James (G)

PROMPT HINNY: Harry and Ginny come into the common room after quidditch practice and Ginny’s trying to make a bet with Harry that she can do a certain trick/trickshot in their next quidditch match (G)

PROMPT HINNY: Lily, James and Sirius react to hinny first kiss in the after life (G)

PROMPT HINNY/JILY: Hinny in an au where Jily and Sirius are alive (T)

PROMPT HINNY: Cho being jealous of Hinny in 6th year (G)

PROMPT HINNY: Ginny being jealous of Cho in 6th year (G)

PROMPT HINNY: How far did Harry and Ginny go in Half Blood prince? (M)

PROMPT HINNY: Harry and Ginny talk about their relationship after the Battle of Hogwarts (M)

PROMPT HINNY: Harry watching Ginny’s first league match (G)

PROMPT HINNY: Kissing in the rain after a declaration of love (G)

PROMPT HINNY: Jily were alive and James finding out that his daughter in law got a contract to be a professional quidditch player (T)

PROMPT HINNY: Please don’t die … If you die, I swear I will hunt you down in hell and bring you back (M) (For reasons of having description of blood and injuries)

PROMPT HINNY: Ginny was a woman who kept her cool, at least most of the time, but sometimes her Weasley blood boiled like a bubbling cauldron, and when that happened, she felt out of control and took the least rational attitude of all time. And that was how Petunia was attacked by a Bat-Bogey Hex as soon as she opened the door to the house. (G)

PROMPT HINNY: If you’ll excuse me, I’ll get my drink and leave you alone in your bad mood. I’m sure you’ll find someone better than me / you have 5 seconds to get off me (T)

PROMPT HINNY: Hinny kissing in a bar because they missing each other (T)

PROMPT HINNY: Harry winning Witch Weekly’s sexiest wizard alive (T)

PROMPT HINNY: The first time Harry is called dad (G) (fluffffffff)

PROMPT HINNY: Hinny taking 6 years old teddy to a Disneyland (G) (highly fluff)

PROMPT HINNY: Hinny and Teddy wearing matching costumes on Halloween (G)

PROMPT HINNY: Ginny's last days pregnant (G)

**PROMPT HINNY: Ron watches Harry and Ginny being new parents (G)

PROMPT HINNY: Harry and Ginny enroll their kids into a muggle Primary school the kids have a science fair, Harry helps them with it, Ginny and Arthur just being embarrassing muggle fanatics (G)

PROMPT HINNY: Have you ever died? I did a few times, it was actually quiet painful but you know what they say, no pain, no gain. (G)

**PROMPT HINNY: He and Harry had a fight last week... James said he didn’t like him anymore.’’ Ginny looked at her mother, looking a little sadder now. ‘’Harry cried.’ (G)

PROMPT HINNY: You’re safe now. I’m with you (T)

PROMPT HINNY: Hinny dropping off James Sirius for his first year at Hogwarts (G)

PROMPT HINNY: The boys and their dad vs Ginny and little Luna over having a sleepover with her guy friends (G)

PROMPT HINNY: Do you think the moon is jealous of how pretty you are? (T)

PROMPT HINNY: Dudley reviewing Harry - now, with his own family - for the first time in a few years (G) PART II

PROMPT HINNY: Blaise's son and Lily Luna start to date, and the Potter family doesn't handle the news very well (G)

PROMPT DRASTORIA: Death bed (coffee for your head) by Powfu for Drastoria (T)

#hinny #harry X ginny #my fic #hinnyheadcanon #jily #james x lily #draco x astoria #drastoria #jilytober #fluff #hp angst #smut #hp next gen #ROMIONE #james sirius x oc #sirius x hestia

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positively-patroclus · 3 years

Text

Weird Things That Happened and I Was Taught in American High School and Middle School

Tw: vomit mentions, MAP mentions, School Shooting mentions, tw blood, and tw sex

-Sex Ed.

Ours was watching three ladies give birth. There was blood and it was gross. No, I didn't learn anything about my body, and we learned nothing about sexual health. Just babies being born.

-Sex Ed. A different year. The importance of chastity and not having premarital sex. Also asecuals don’t exist. (I exist textbook)

-Weight: 130+ is bad. Don’t get over that. If you do you are fat and ugly. Also watch this video where they throw up :) you totally won’t throw up too

-Peeing is bad. You don’t need to pee for six hours. Changing a pad is impossible to actually do. You can handle not changing it for almost six hours

-If one person misbehaves, you must all get punished so they feel bad

-Is it really a math class without someone causing the ADHD queer kid to have a panic attack because the homophobic girls are telling him to k*ll himself and he gets in trouble?

-You can only miss a class ten times a semester. Oh you missed 11? Well now you have to retake that class.

-Oh you are being bullied and defended yourself? Bad Student

-Oh the three kids who died in a car wreck this year? After that we had to watch a video of people literally dying to try to scare us. There was so much blood

-There were two school sh**ting threats when i was in eight grade. They didn’t tell us till the day it was supposed to happen and didn’t let anyone go home. Same with the second time. I had a panic attack both times and my standpartner had to take me to the bathroom both times so i could actually calm down.

-Food? You have fifteen minutes to eat before we start kicking you out of the lunch room

-Pledge your allegiance to the flag everyday

-my hours for in person school are 7am-3pm. When i take drivers ed it will be 7am-5pm so longer than an average american workday before the homework

-5+ hours of homework a night

-walking to school in -15F (-26C) or colder weather and that being normal

-the fact that a lot of people i know refuse to miss days even if they are super sick on testing days. In 2019 i went to school with a fever, pneumonia, and bronchitis, because missing my test was a death sentence.

-PE teachers being pedos. I was 13 and had the other teacher (a pedo) stare at my boobs as i ran

-If you don’t run the mile in less than 12 minutes, you have to redo it because it wasn’t good enough.

-I ran the mile with pneumonia one year and in an ankle brace a different year

-history class only being about America (at least the required history. You can take the world history but you don’t need to to graduate) where slavery is literlly glorifed and christoper columbus is hailed as a hero. And War Propaganda

-having to pay to take drivers ed. Art classes, cooking classes, home ecc, etc.

-i took a multicultural studies and a sociology class this year, i found out last night they don’t count for my credits so i have to take two extra classes next year.

#arabis.txt.#okay to reblog

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nightswithkookmin · 3 years

Note

Hii, me again. 😅

Jungkook made a three syllable poem with "min yoongi" name. At the last name of "Gi" He made yoonmin. Is he try to expose that yoonmin is a thing/ or real??

Ahjumma.... why are you being like this?

What did I do to deserve this ghettory?😟 It's too early in the year to be this ghetto uno.

Don't be like that😒

You are asking me, Goldy- GOLDY of all shippers, if I think JEON JUNGKOOK is confirming his boyfriend of seven years and counting is in a relationship with another member within the same group...

Doing what exactly in that relationship??

Is JK cockholding? What's going on.

KWENCHANAYO?!

You think BTS will survive two members dating the same guy in the same group???

Never mind that it's Jeon Jungkook and Park freaking Jimin- Mr I'm greedy and Mr I don't share my friends.

Like make it make sense to me please😭

After everything we've been said on my blogs for months now, you still asking me this??

You are bold, I'll give you that.

Now tell me slowly and in coherent words why I shouldn't pull your hair and give you three quick punches to your throat- ninja style👀

Someone get her before I snap their neck💀

For the last time-

NEITHER 🤺OF🤺JIKOOK🤺 IS 🤺 WAS🤺 HAS🤺 HAD🤺 PURPORTS TO HAVE🤺 WOULD HAVE HAD🤺 COULD HAD HAD🤺 HAD HAD HAD🤺IS HAVING 🤺 ANY 🤺ROMANTIC🤺 FEELINGS🤺WHATSOEVER 🤺 DESIRE🤺CRAVING🤺 WET DREAMS🤺 YEARNING🤺 PASSION🤺ATTRACTION🤺 AMOROUS 🤺INTENT🤺TOWARDS🤺 ANY🤺🤺MEMBER🤺 IN🤺 BTS🤺BESIDES🤺 EACH🤺 OTHER🤺

GET🤺 OUT 🤺OF🤺 YOUR🤺 IMAGINATION🤺

If you are new to the shipping community I suggest you familiarize yourself with every ships dynamics or at least Jikooks- if multishipping isn't exactly your thing.

Jikook's entire dynamics is founded on JK teasing JM to death. It's their thing.

He's said he enjoys teasing Jimin because he loves Jimin's reaction to when he's being teased. In fact, the entire group have said same about Jimin.

Did you see JM's reaction to when JK called out the Yoonmin comment in the dynamite reaction VLive?

Did you see RMs reaction too?

He is trying Jimin with these Yoonmin jokes. He's gonna get stabbed. Lmho.

Jimin reacts strongly to when JK in particular teases him with ships, Yoonmin more recently. Yet he didn't seem to mind when V did it.

V used to be the biggest Yoonminer on the planet rooting for and encouraging certain interactions between Yoonmin. Lmho.

Jimin himself perpetuates Yoonmin as a ship.

It would be an insult on his intelligence for anyone to assume he didn't know exactly why people ship two people together or what interactions and moments is considered a moment in shipping sphere.

Statements like, why can't Suga hyung look me in the eye, why does he say I'm irreplaceable to him, insinuates something and he knows this.

Once upon a time, JK couldn't look you in the eyes too. Still can't sometimes.

Jimin has a presence and he has a hold on these men and he knows it.

He goes out of his way to create the impression he and Suga have a very close bond and dynamic- I'm sold on it. Lol.

'5 Jms? As expected. You'll fall in love with them' not sure if JM said the last bit in the BE.TS Vlive, yall check for me.

It's crazy then that he turns around to react the way he does when JK teases him with his ship with Suga.

It seems to me, Jimin knows the intent and energy behind such seemingly harmless jokes- JK can be petty and passive aggressive with these things. You'd think he is joking but deep down he would be pouting and throwing tantrums behind cams🤧

It's Jimin apologizing and looking like his spirit left his body as he sat on the edge of JK's bed in the new Jersey VLive for me.

He needs to free Jimin.

Talk of things I'm getting too old for- Let's talk about why he posted his version of the bridge in disease online🤧

Not to say he shouldn't have posted it. I support that he did wholeheartedly. Deadass found his groove since he started unbuttoning the front of his shirts in 2020.

He's reclaiming the spotlight, putting himself at the forefront unlike before where he'd resigned himself to a supportive role watching his hyungs be at the center of things.

Now he's been talking about that he wants have sexy dance performances like Jimin, write rap melodies for RM, share his own music, try on a solo career one day- we get it. You found yourself Mr I'm independent asserting myself yall better fuxk off but chilee not at the expense of Jimin! 🤺

I mean it's a broad spotlight and they both can share it but damn is someone changing drastically. Not sure if I should be proud or terrified.

It's great and amazing and I'm really truly happy with where he's at mentally and physically since 2020- it's a great sign, don't get me wrong. Significant improvement. His becoming is long over due but he didn't have to grab the spotlight from Jimin like that.

Jk vs JM isn't something I'm a fan of.

It's a shame it didn't work out? What do you mean JK. I'm sorry but Jimin's version is amazing too!😟

What the actual hell JK😭

Back it up. This is not how to Jikook🤺

On guard sir🤺 on guard🤺

Dude did Jimin dirty🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧

I need a refund😭😭😭😭

Here I was waiting for y'all to get on your Jikook agenda and post that first Jikook selca of the year and you are there shipping Jimin with your bandmate and thiefing his shine. Who taught you that?!😥

Y'all are competitive but y'all don't compete with eachother's shine! JIKOOK 101😭😭😭

You share it😥

Show me where in the books this new development falls under. Show me

You winging it and it's unconstitutional😟

I rebuke it in Jesus name!

Someone beam me up.

You got these 13 year olds coming in my DMs telling me you are not supportive of your man's career.

I don't have time for this shit.

SOMEONE BEAM ME UP! Kirk!

If you've watched their Be behind video, and you've seen Jin talk about how RM complained to him when Tae chose Suga's version over his version you'd know where JK is coming from or where I think he is coming from having JMs version chosen over his.

Watch their Be self interview on yt too.

He said there's a melody he worked on for RM and when Jhope thought he got snubbed he recommended he release it instead- to quench his artistic drive perhaps.

That is why he released this song. He did it for himself. Like he said, he won't put out a song unless he was confident about it.

Suga have said time and again how the music and melodies they create never go to waste because they can repurpose it like he did with Telepathy I think.

Even JK explained he was reserving the melody he made for RM for a future group song.

He could have repurposed this or something.

When Jin talked about V vs JM's Christmas song and kept repeating how much he preferred Jimin's song to Tae's because Jimin"s was bright and upbeat, he made sure to clarify he wasn't implying Tae's song was bad. He was just indicating preference.

I won't lie, I was happy he preferred my bias's song but it made my VMin heart ache a little.

V and JM made very different songs, they shouldn't be compared to eachother in that way.

I don't like competitions. And I don't like when two artists are pit against eachother- which is exactly what these two versions of the bridge is doing out here.

I will literally die if in an interview JM is asked about his part and JK isn't. I can't do this😭

Those saying JM's is better make me sick, and those saying JK's is better make me nauseous. They both great. Point blank purr.

What's even more heartbreaking is hearing how excited he really was to share that bit with Army. Dude's eyes was glistening and everything. His bunny smile! 😥

Thats what makes this very hard for me.

The JJK in me is overjoyed and excited that he is doing things that make him really happy. I'm proud of him.

But the PJM in me just😕

I even feel more guilty that I prefer JM's version this time around😭😭😭😭

I feel like I'm betraying JK🤧

I was so happy seeing JM recieve all the love and attention I know he deserves.

Then here comes his boyfriend

'Hold up what about me!' Lol.

Imagine if RM releases the version of Blue and grey he made for Tae and it turns out we prefer that to the version Tae chose💀

Imagine that.

This has been a recurring theme throughout late 2020 to date. Jk's been choosing authenticity and self interests and passions over anything else and I couldn't be more happy for him.

Like we discussed, he's been learning to compromise too lately, which is great.

But honey this is a red flag. Deadass.

To me anyways😏

I've been a strong advocate for a certain level of independence and detachment in Jikook's dynamics because they lowkey exhibited codependency tendencies in their dynamics which is great for us shippers but not so great in the long run for their relationship or them as individuals .

Maybe I'm thinking out loud and prematurely here. I mean we are only beginning to have intimate access to their raw unscripted selves.

I don't think it's not that much of a big deal. RM and JM have equally shared their own versions of fake love on the internet but it is an interesting development in their dynamic to me.

I remember how happy JM was about his version of fake love, and it remains to date one of my favorite beats even though he was just spewing nonsense on that track. Lol.

He was so excited when he shared it with JK and Jin. He said when he showed it to JK the first time, JK said he loved it very much- how loving and supportive is that!

More of this please. Thank you.

PMS is a bitch y'all🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Has me in my feels about this.

I'm pretty sure JM is the one that even encouraged him to share his part in the first place. Won't put it past him.

'Ya Jungkook, release your version too'

'Army will love it'

'Right but I don't want it to seem like- Goldy is crazy you know'

'Goldy who now?'

'What about the thirteen year old fans-'

'Aht aht aht Who cares about them.'

Lmho.

I mentioned a few times on here how I felt JM seemed to have been demanding 'space' and a little bit of breathing room in their dynamic which was causing a little bit of tension here and there middle 2019 through to March last year and it all sounds like drama and speculation but...

May be if I told y'all I am a witch and my analysis of their relationship is based on mediums, phantom whisperers, empathetic readings or tarot cards y'all will leave me alone?🤥

Y'all don't seem to have a problem with the witches and empaths who be doing the same shit I do out here😒

Like we are all 'reading' these mens!

There's nothing wrong with 'psychoanalytically' evaluating a ship you know? Chilee.

Imma call myself a witch if it will get y'all off my back😹😹😹😹

I mentioned JK equally embarking on his own journey to assert himself within the group and within the relationship due to this?

But damn I did not see this one coming.

This is a red flag for me. And no, it doesn't mean they are broken up or having issues in their relationship.

Jk's TMI indicates they still been spending a lot of time together.

This is just a sign there's too much independence in their dynamic now- if you know what I mean.

Relationships flourish based on how attached we are to people- too much attachment is a problem, too little attachment is equally bad.

Jikook have always had a problem with over attachment in their dynamics in my opinion, to the point it was lowkey unhealthy- the jealousy, not being able to 'act professionally' within a group and work environment, having problems with being separated however briefly, constantly wanting to be where the other is etc.

Less attachment isnt necessarily a bad thing either. It means less of all the 'toxic' aspects of their relationship that over attachment brings but too much of that too can trigger anxiousness and insecurity and resentment.

Especially if one of them hates change. Cough Jimin.

With that comes all the wild aspects of love such as possessiveness, jealousy and I know JM doesn't do too well in that department...

In my opinion, I see JM as having a problem when JK breathes down his neck emotionally speaking, and at the same time he has a problem when he is too emotionally distant.

All this is interesting to me.

Who do I need to talk to to give me more of Jikook interactions individually or jointly?

I want to see more of their interactions beyond the overly staged, dramatized fanservice and official content.

Spending a lot of time around eachother and eating each other's ramen- pun intended, does not reflect on how intimate you are.

Intimacy requires depth and depth requires attachment.

How you treat eachother's needs and goals, dreams and desires is equally indicative of the intimacy in your relationship.

That has always been one distinctive quality of Jikook's ship.

And so I wonder the thought process that went into this decision. I know JM wouldn't object to JK sharing things like these or doing things that make him happy even if it has the potential to impact his own shine in any way.

Jikook don't compete against eachother.

I keep saying this.

Remember when I said I found it sus that JK was lying there staring at JM with his hands in between his legs?

Did yall see what the run editors said when JM and JK went up against each in the pool?

'Jikook don't play by the rules'

Jimin had to push JK in the water to end whatever ancient sex ritual foreplay rooted in kamasutra they had going on. Bless him.

And in so doing, he lost to JK.

Whenever they go up against eachother, one of them intentionally lose even though they are both very competitive.

Isn't that why JK said he'd rather 5 Jms so he can watch them compete against eachother?

When JK first made that post, I felt it was out of pettiness or a move to 'humble' JM.

I thought of when he'd posted that photo of himself with a hickey after JM had 'dated' him during the JinMinKook live.

I rolled my eyes and asked, 'what yall gays up to this time?' Why you out here humbling your man?

Anywho chilee we will never know.

At ease.

Signed,

GOLDY

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morkofday · 3 years

Text

some heihua for the soul

so the update for Binding isn’t happening today bc my brain is complete mush after trying to aggressively finish my thesis yesterday and i decided to give my brain two days off bc of that. also, i promised @ashenwren some time to beta read the ending part (which they already did but! now i need some time with it myself) so i am leaving everybody to wait until saturday.

meanwhile, i am offering yall a sneak peek/first look at my heihua fic which is very loosely tied to my pingxie. basically, this is just me playing around with hei xiazi as a character and his and xiao hua’s dynamic’s more... tender side.

i know that @jockvillagersonly and ashen have already read this which has been amazing so thank you for your love ♥ but take this again ^^ also thanks to @cross-d-a for listening to me ramble about heihua and sharing this idea with me. and thank you to @i-am-just-a-kiddo who i’m doing all of this for ♥ you are the best parent-in-law for these two and this fandom!

It’s a bad week for him.

First, it’s the girl he finds while raiding a warehouse full of smuggled weapons and possibly, most likely, drugs. She’s maybe twelve, eyes wide and hair messy, bones poking her skin where Hei Xiazi can see her elbows flashing under her short sleeves. There are bruises around her wrists and burn marks on the inside of her arms. She doesn’t speak but she doesn’t have to, all of her screaming of experiences worthy of a hundred years instead of a dozen.

She presses her face into her hands when Hei Xiazi fires his gun, and he feels something come loose inside of him at the broken, aborted noise she makes that rings louder than the shot itself.

Hei Xiazi carries her kicking and screaming out of the warehouse, leaving behind the slowly ending gun fight and the smell of gasoline. She only goes silent once Hei Xiazi puts her down, flinching bodily away from him but not going far. She hovers, fingers slowly curling around the hem of his long jacket while they wait, shoulders hunching against the cold. Hei Xiazi offers her his jacket with a smile, buys her a sandwich which she then throws up, and helps her into a hospital once they’re safe to leave.

No one else stays behind with her. All the other people they found from that warehouse scattered as soon as the fight began and only she remained, lost in the thought of having to leave the premises that had become her world. She has no family, no house, no money. Hei Xiazi watches her leave with the social workers, bones of her wrists like twigs threatening to snap even after some proper meals and eyes so big they seem to swallow the light around her. She still hasn’t said a word. Hei Xiazi doubts she ever will.

Her pale face looks like a ghost as she turns to give Hei Xiazi one last glance over her shoulder, and that’s what she becomes to him once he goes home and puts that warehouse out of his mind. It’s hard and he feels himself haunted, and whatever it was that got loose in his chest rattles like the tail of a snake.

Then, he hears about Su Wan. Hears about the mission that went south with the three youngsters. Hears about Su Wan getting hurt.

It isn’t anything new in their line of business to get hurt, to even die. When he first met the boy in the desert, he predicted he would find him six feet under after only a day. There was too much softness in Su Wan, too much trust, too much naivete. He had a big brain and clever ideas but his core was gooey, leaking out in way too telling bursts, leaving nothing hidden.

Su Wan had reminded Hei Xiazi of young Wu Xie. Even his floundering with his knife had reminded him of Wu Xie. Even his adaptability had been annoyingly similar to Wu Xie’s, and Hei Xiazi had questioned his taste in students. At least the boy had paid better. At least the boy hadn’t been wishing to die.

He had not expected, after knowing all of that, to experience such fear when he first heard that Su Wan had gotten himself stabbed and had almost bled out in a cave, with only Li Cu and Yang Hao to look after himself and a saving bed of a hospital hours away. His hands had shook, making it impossible to hold anything while trying to breathe, and he had quickly been reminded of the little girl, torn open and going a bit feral just because she didn’t know what to do.

It was a surprisingly new thing to care. As surprising as the fact that he still knew of such things.

“I thought I had taught you better, kid,” he says as he goes to the hospital, in the middle of the night of all things, having to cover Su Wan’s mouth so that he doesn’t scream and wake up the better half of the city. The boy’s eyes are wide and heartbeat rapid under his fingers where he can feel it pulsing against Su Wan’s jaw. Then the boy is scrambling at his fingers to speak from between them. He pulls his hand away.

“Hei-ye!” the boy whispers fervently, like an anchor casted in water. “I thought you were out of the country!”

“I was until yesterday when I heard that you got stabbed,” he explains, voice leaning more towards mockery than any actual care. Su Wan knows what that means. The boy knows more than anyone else has ever known about a person like Hei Xiazi. It’s a strange thing but Hei Xiazi has come to almost like it.

“I’m fine!” the boy chirps, lighting up like a lightbulb. Hei Xiazi helps him sit in his bed, snatching a chair for himself from the corner, and then evaluates the damage. Su Wan is smiling while a thick roll of bandages circle his stomach. There are at least thirty stitches there, curving along his side. Some more adorn his bicep where he tried to evade another blade. A darkening bruise is making his cheek swell, casting an extra shadow under his chin.

Hei Xiazi sighs and closes his eyes when Su Wan starts to tell the story, his voice a soft whisper made even softer with lingering sleep. The beep of the machines tell Hei Xiazi the boy is alive. The painful thrum of his own heart tells him he’s alive too.

Su Wan falls asleep holding onto Hei Xiazi’s sleeve. He cannot remember how the boy got the leather between his fingers but prying his hold away is like bending steel. It feels impossible and burns equal amounts.

Finally, he slips back into the cold night.

He doesn’t go to his apartment, the one he’s currently occupying, his few belongings strewn across the floor and nothing making the place feel like his. Even after years and years and years, some part of him still feels sick at the thought of emptiness. He’s tried his hardest to carve his bones empty and chest clean but after each year spent alone or with someone or wanting, he realizes it’s a battle he cannot win. There’s something terribly strong under his ribs. It refuses to die even before his curse of immortality and the knowledge that goes beyond his comprehension. It refuses to die even when facing the cold, cruel world.

The walls surrounding the Xie Manor are high but not high enough to keep him at bay. If they were, he would’ve never come here. He would’ve never returned, not after he once left.

Climbing up the wall of the manor to the third floor makes his lungs burn, but then he’s pushing the window open already, stepping silently onto the polished floor.

“Xiazi,” a familiar voice says, not even pretending to sound sleepy. “It’s three in the morning. Is it really a suitable time to be visiting the head of Xie family?”

Hei Xiazi smiles, shrugging off his leather jacket and placing it onto the back of a chair beside him. The air in the room feels chilly with the window open but he likes to hear the noises from outside and he likes the line of silver painted onto the floor and across the luxurious double bed. He likes that he can pretend his vision is so clear just because of the moon.

“Hua’er-ye,” he says back, voice like honey because he loves to tease this man and loves how the tone makes his perfect eyebrows pinch. “Are you sure this isn’t a dream?”

“I would dream you naked at least, not dripping mud all over my floors.”

“As you wish,” he says and reaches for his own belt before moving closer to the bed, toeing his shoes off on the first two steps.

Xie Yuchen is warm but firm when Hei Xiazi meets his body, crashing into his lips and then slipping hands down his silk covered spine. He hums, hiding his laugh. He’s always loved the absolute brilliance and practicality and strength of this man but under all that, Xie Yuchen is a little spoiled. A rich family head. A powerful man with more money than Hei Xiazi could possibly imagine. He’s never tried, not really caring. For all his acting, he’s never gone for Xie Yuchen for his money.

He takes care of helping Xie Yuchen out of his expensive pajamas, kissing him wet and shivering after each uncovered piece of skin. There is something beautiful about Xie Yuchen in the stark light of the moon, eyes burning bright and the line of his throat like an invitation. Hei Xiazi wishes he could tell him that, sometimes, but he’s preferred to seal his lips. His poetry would not suit the ears of Xie Yuchen.

He’s never been one for pretty words, crude and almost barbaric instead, tongue made out of barbwire and mind of a strategic plan. Between them, all those edges exist in harmony, and so he’s never felt the need for anything more, enjoying the simplicity of just being.

Ironically, as the sun is already rising, coloring the horizon with its colorless light, he still descends into words. It’s like something is pulling them out of his chest, and when there’s a force outside of his control beneath his ribs, he cannot do anything but unravel upon Xie Yuchen’s white satin sheets.

“There was this girl,” he says, looking into the still remaining dark – or as dark as anything can be for his eyes, that comfort taken from him ages ago. “I saved her from a warehouse a couple of days ago. She didn’t speak, couldn’t eat because she’d been kept hungry for so long. There were burn marks on her arms, probably from cigarettes or a lighter. They told me she was thirteen. She didn’t look like she was thirteen.”

Xie Yuchen’s hands are on his back, brushing lightly against his shoulder blades, drawing something there. His heartbeat is steady under Hei Xiazi’s cheek and his skin burns, burns, burns. He remembers how he had looked at that girl in the eyes and seen himself there.

“I remember,” he says quietly, closing his eyes, “feeling the same burn on my skin. I have no memories of when or why but I know there were cigarettes. I know her pain. I know the scars.”

“Were you a child back then?” Xie Yuchen asks, his body a strong, sturdy thing against him. A rock. A mountain. He never thought he would feel lost in this world but there is something about himself in every child he’s ever saved, in all of their wide, fearful eyes, in all of their screams, their desperate fight, their bared teeth and messy heads of hair. There’s something about him in all of their thrumming, wild panic, like a bird under their skin; in their desperation to get away, to find a place to belong, to find safety and food and trust. To heal a body that has not been their own or has felt like an enemy or a liability or a curse.

He cannot remember the time he was a child, cannot remember the time before he went blind and began to see too much, cannot remember being anything but this eternal man on the outskirts of the world. He cannot remember ever having a family or feeling the absence of it.

But then, there’s this echo in his mind. It rings back from the eyes of every child he’s ever tried to help. He thinks, maybe, he still knows how he lost.

“I only remember being burned,” he says. “I only remember the pain and being afraid. And isn’t that a stupid thing to remember when it could be so many things?” He laughs, as much as it can be a laugh when something twists inside of his chest, bringing tightly together that something that was let loose. He chokes on it, feeling his voice die down. Xie Yuchen turns beside him so that they both lie on their sides, looking at each other. The line of the moon falls over Xie Yuchen’s hips and almost lands on Hei Xiazi’s waiting hand.

“Bad things linger,” Xie Yuchen says with a certainty of a man who knows this to be true. During the years, Hei Xiazi has learned a couple of the bad things that happened to this proud man. “But you are turning them into something good.”

“And how much does it change to save a couple of children?” he huffs, tired of the heart that cannot leave him at peace.

“For them, everything.”

#dmbj #the lost tomb #heihua #hei xiazi #xiao hua #all feedback is appreciated i suppose #just wanted to share this here #expect binding on saturday!#enjoy your weekend everybody!!#also yes i will die #for hxz adopting random kids #cross your brain was so lovely #for providing me with this #my fic

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problematicfavesareproblematic · 3 years

Text

Our First Defeat

Chapter 1: You’ve Cut Me to the Bone

Uh, oh- guess what time it is? That’s right chicks, dicks, and everyone in betwix(t)....

It’s ‘another series that should’ve just been a straightforward one shot’ time!!!!

This is probably going to be at least a four parter, so buckle up buttercups.

Warnings: Smut, infidelity, oral, cum play, longing, ANGST, Lewis being a shitty husband to Katherine, run-on sentences, feels, probably OOC Nixy-poo, childhood f2l mention, mentions of prom sex so underage I guess(?), potty words, rich people parties, reader is tipsy when they boink but so is Nix and it’s pre-established desire so idk man

Special thanks to @sunsetmando for being my constant idea sounding board and cheerleader and to @liebgotttme and @mrsalwayswrite for their unfalteringly supportive praise despite my constant self-inflicted shit talking!

Title and chapter names will come from the first defeat by noah gundereson

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Say what you wanted to about Doris and Stan Nixon, but they sure threw one hell of a party.

Waiters in sharp suits, sparkling crystal glasses filled with golden champagne, marble floors polished to a near reflective shine- nothing but the very best for the engagement party for Mrs. Nixon’s baby boy.

If your heart hadn’t already become calloused from heartbreak, you probably would burst into tears.

You’d known the Nixons all of your life, and with Nixon being a year and a half your senior and his younger sister being three years your junior, the three of you had little choice to become anything other than close. Even when Lewis had grown old enough to get sick of girls and their games of dress up and make-believe, you and he still managed to get along.

You were both the oldest children in your families, and for a while you had also attended the same advanced reading course offered by your private elementary school’s librarian. Your shared love of books had bonded you nearly as much as your shared birth orders, and it wasn’t uncommon for your parents to find you both nose deep in one of your father’s large tomes of mythology.

It surprised no one that the two of you became close as you got older.

What did strike both of your families as odd was just how close you two stayed- especially when you both started attending your respective boy’s and girl’s boarding schools. You’d been each other’s penpals, school dance dates, and summer trip companions.

After your Junior prom, you’d lost your virginities to each other after polishing off two bottles of lethally strong port wine. Nixon, sex-drunk and just plain old drunk-drunk, had insisted that he’d done ‘other things’ with girls- that he wasn’t really a virgin but he’d yet to actually do the act.

As if he was worried that you’d make fun of him.

As if you’d think less of him for it.

Of course, things had changed once college came around.

He became busy with his studies, and you had thrown yourself into attaining your nursing credentials. He’d gotten a fair share of girlfriends and you’d had a few relationships of your own.

When your families would get together for holidays and birthdays, the two of you would inevitably sneak off and fuck until one of you decided that someone was going to notice your absences.

Then, after rejoining everyone else for an appropriately deemed amount of time, you’d rush off again to repeat the cycle. Sex with Lewis was everything you’d been told you shouldn't want- hard and desperate and just left of dirty but God did you love it. You loved the way your bodies fit together, the way his breath felt on your neck as he held onto you so tightly that you thought he might leave bruises. The way he kissed you as if he were drinking the air from your lungs, like he needed your lips in order to breathe, to live.

More than anything, you loved the ease that existed between you two- the way you both helped the other redress and how he would take your face in his hands and call you sweet things as he gave you languid kisses before giving you a wicked grin and guiding you both back to the party.

It wasn’t ideal, and more often than not you’d feel hollow again after a few days, but your trysts with Lew were the closest thing you had to a consistent relationship.

When Pearl Harbor happened, you’d made the decision to enlist as a field nurse. Nixon had begun to attend an Officer’s school, so you’d already started to resign yourself to the fact that this fling of yours could never be anything more than just that, a fling. Apparently he had, too.

You’d felt like you had been punched in the stomach when you heard about Katherine.

He hadn’t even told you that he was seriously seeing someone, let alone considering marrying anyone.

It had hurt more than you wanted to admit.

How you managed to keep a straight face when his mother proudly told you and your mother about the engagement, you’ll never know.

All you did know was that he’d made a choice, and it wasn’t you.

And you had to get over it.

Even so, it had still taken both your mother and your father to convince you to come to this party tonight. Your brother and sister had been allowed to stay home- they were still considered too young to attend such frivolous events.

Lucky bastards.

But you’d let your mother dress you in a velvet gown of indigo-violet decorated with rhinestones across the bodice and sleeves, allowed your younger sister to braid your hair in a halo around your head (despite your mother’s plea for you to wear it in a more fashionable and mature style) and even gotten a grumble of a compliment from your sulking teenage brother and greeted the Nixon’s with the same amount of warmth you always had.

If nothing else, finishing school had taught you well when it came to hiding your true feelings.

Katherine was the most beautiful woman you’d ever seen, her hair shiny and her skin perfect and her body curvy and tight in all the right places. Her sky blue dress draped across her form perfectly, as if it had been made for her.

Her hands were graceful and delicate- the perfect canvas for the huge diamond ring Nix had bestowed upon her.

To make matters worse? You liked her.

She was smart and well-spoken, with a habit of interrupting someone mid-sentence but that wasn’t enough to make you dislike her.

“Lew’s sung your praises for years,” Katherine had smiled smally after you’d introduced yourself to her. “it’s wonderful to finally put a face to the name….”

“It’s all lies, most likely,” you assured with a grin, a sudden realization hitting you. “Speaking of Little Lew—”

Katherine rolls her eyes and offers a conspiratory whisper.

“Pretty sure he’s stress smoking somewhere upstairs. I’ve been trying to get him to quit—”

You snort at that. “Then you are far braver than most, and you have my respect.”

You look over your shoulder, frowning as you took in the scene.

Turning back to Katherine, you give her a nod.

“I’ll hurry him along,” you murmur softly. “Drag him down by the ear if I’ve got to—”

“Consider my respect earned in kind, then.”

Sharing a smile, you politely excuse yourself and slip away up the stairs.

You had a feeling that you knew exactly where Nix was hiding.

The formal library was dark wood and warm leather, with deep seats and cigar smoke stained books that sat on shelves so high that even the tallest man needed to utilize the built-in ladder to reach the top.

As children, you and Lewis had spent countless hours reading of far-away lands and exotic adventures, darting back and forth between whatever book you’d decided on and the grand globe by the window to trace your fingers over countries neither of you would probably ever actually visit.

This room held your sweetest memories, as well as some of your racier ones.

Finding Lewis in here was only fitting.

He looked unbearably handsome- sat on the windowsill with the wind fluttering his hair across his forehead while the moon lit up his profile and made him look like some exquisite marble statue.

The cigarette between his lips reminded you of all the times he’d smoke after fucking you, the way he’d exhale the smoke into your parted lips before kissing you so deeply your toes would curl.

“I could get used to this,” he’d said, after one of your last trysts.

“What, smoking yourself to death in your dad’s library?”

He’d shot you a glare before attacking your neck with kisses that left you giggling from how they tickled your skin.

“No, Smartass,” Lewis said as he nudged your nose with his, a lazy smile clear on his face when he lifted his head away from you enough to meet your eyes. “This, with you. Not having to rush off before your mom comes looking for you. It’s nice….”

That felt like a lifetime ago.

“If you frown at the moon any longer,” you call out, smirking at the way he startles before realizing it’s just you. “You’re gonna get a wrinkle before all the wedding photos.”

He shoots you a look, shaking his head before turning to stub out the cigarette in the silver ashtray.

“Not even gonna lull me into a false sense of security before giving me shit, huh?”

With a practiced ease, he gently slides the window back into place and locks it, fanning the lingering wafts of smoke from around his face before turning to fully face you.

A familiar smile crosses his face that has you rolling your eyes.

“Well, I’ve gotta get all I can out of my system- now that you’ve gone and replaced me.”

With another withering look, Lew comes up and kisses your cheek before wrapping an arm around your shoulders and another around your waist to lower you into a dipped hug.

“Hey now,” he grumbles into the shell of your ear, his breath tickling your neck and causing you to shiver. “I think you’re underestimating your talents if you think anyone can fling smartass comments my way better than you- oh!”

Twisting you back up so you’re both standing, he pushes the door to the library closed to get to the bookshelf behind it.

With curiosity, you watch him pull a book from the shelf and present it to you with a flourish.

“A gift for you, my lady.”

Rolling your eyes, you take the book in your hands and peer at the cover.

You recognize the title immediately as a Poirot mystery, a grin breaking across your lips as you realize it’s one of your favorites- a collection of short stories featuring the Belgian detective and Captain Hastings.

As you open the book, you suck in a breath when you see the scrawl of Agatha Christie’s signature across the title page, and upon further inspection, you realize it’s a first edition.

“Holy shit, Lew…” you whisper, running your fingertip across the indents in the paper her heavy-handed scrawl. “Where’d this come from? How’d you know….?”

Looking up at Lewis again, you are slightly embarrassed by the amused expression on his face, deciding to look back down rather than acknowledge how clearly he was watching your reaction.

“Well,” he begins, stepping behind you to squeeze your shoulders. “It came from a bookshop, believe it or not—”

“Lewis—”

“And as for the how….Blanche told me in one of her letters.”

That gives you pause again- the reminder that you and he hadn’t written anything to each other in quite some time.

Clearing your throat, you set the book down on one of the desks and bring a hand up to rest over one of his. “That’s very…..thank you.”

You feel him press a quick peck to the crown on your head, something you were fine with until you left the pressure of his lips lingering there.

“I hope, uh…hoped you’d also take it as a sort of, er- peace offering, of sorts….”

You feel your shoulders tense at that. The blood in your veins suddenly feels cold and dead.

You’d hoped he wouldn’t do anything like this- wouldn’t bring any of this up.

“I’m sure I don't know what you’re talking about—”

“Yes you do.”

Sucking in a sharp breath through your nose, you turn around to face him.

“There’s nothing to offer peace for,” it’s taking more effort than you like to keep your voice even. “What you do with your life is none of my business.”

“It doesn’t change the fact that you should’ve heard about it from me,” he says quietly, and as his breath fans across your face you can pick up the sweet bite of whiskey beneath the smell of cigarette smoke. “That was….I should’ve been the one to tell you—”

“I don’t see why you felt you had to.” You give him a tight smile, working hard to keep yourself from scowling. “It’s not like we made any promises to each other….which I thought was the whole appeal of me, if I’m being honest.”

Lewis brings his hands up to brush against your jaw, the unexpectedly soft touch making you shudder before you can stop yourself

“You’ve got to have known that I’ve been in love with you since we were kids, Y/N—”

“Don’t say that,” you hiss under your breath, biting the insides of your lip and shaking your head. “That’s unfair, you can’t do this- it’s wildly unfair to Katherine, it’s not fair to me—”

Lewis scoffed at that, a rueful smirk twisting his face as he let his eyes trail down your face.

“‘Unfair’....what’s unfair is asking me to go down there and pretend like everything’s hunky-dory when you’re here, looking like everything I’ve ever wanted in my goddamned life and expecting me to act like I wasn’t wishing you were on my arm instead—”

“Jesus Christ, Lewis, that’s enough—” you cross your arms across your chest as you step back out of his touch and turn to look at the wall of books. “What’s the matter with you? I’ve always known you could be an asshole, but this is cruel, even for you—”

“How am I being an asshole?” he snaps, taking your shoulders and turning you back to face him, his frown deep and imploring. “Because I’m being honest? Huh? ‘Cause I’m telling you the truth—?”

“Because you’re telling me the truth now!” you say venomously, letting your own face morph into a scowl. “Tonight, the fucking night where we’re all here to celebrate you and Katherine getting married! You can’t just expect me to not respect that—��

“What if I told you I didn’t even want to marry her—?”

“Lower your voice!”

You don’t realize how close you’ve gotten to each other until you accidentally scuff your toes against the side of his polished shoe, something that shocks you out of your anger like a cold splash of water.

His cheeks are rosy with both drink and frustration, and you’re pretty sure that your face is flushed as well. Closing your eyes, you sigh and hang your head.

“If you didn’t want this,” you say a bit more calmly. “Then why did you ask her in the first place?”

You startle slightly at the feeling of him taking your hand, opening your eyes to watch him bring it to his clean-shaven cheek and hold it there. His eyes look tired, sad almost.

“Because I’m being shipped out soon,” he sighs heavily, twisting his head enough to press a kiss to your palm as the air whooshes out of your lungs in a pained sigh. “Because it’s what’s expected of me.”

Meeting your hesitant gaze, he offers a sad little smile and a shrug.

“Because it couldn’t be you, I didn’t really care who it was—”

Quickly, you take back control of the hand he’s holding and put your fingertips gently over his lips, your throat feeling tight at the admission.

“Don’t,” you whisper shakily. “Don’t finish that sentence….”

Taking your hand again, he moves it away from his mouth.

“Why not?” he says back just as quietly, eyes scanning your face. “Am I being an asshole?”

You shake your head, chest tightening as you take in his confession. “You’re breaking my heart all over again.”

He nods, his jaw clenching as he studies you. “I keep doing that, don’t I?”

When you don’t show any sign of amusement at his comment, he encourages you to wrap an arm around his neck as he pulls you into another borderline inappropriate embrace. A hug that was better suited for two lovers rather than two friends grieving a future that was entirely hypothetical.

His lips press to the side of your throat, inhaling the smell of your skin deeply and slowly.

“I don’t mean to,” he whispers, splaying his large hand across the small of your back. “I really want you to know that.”

You stay silent, focusing all of your energy into not crying.

Even if he had asked you to marry him, you would’ve had to say no.

Married women were unwelcome in all branches of military nursing- and you had worked too hard to ever consider giving that dream up.

Not even for Lewis Nixon….although you probably would’ve thought about it harder.

“I sometimes wish we’d never kissed,” you say with emotion in your voice, letting him hold you even closer at your hushed admission. “I wish I didn’t care about you, then we wouldn’t have to be like this…”

“I don’t,” he mumbled against your skin. “I wouldn’t take any of this back- even if I could.”

You shake your head sadly as you bring your other arm around his shoulders to more fully embrace him.

“That’s because you’re a masochist almost as much as you are a sadist—”

He groans at that, taking his face from your neck to press his cheek against yours.

“I knew getting you those Freud books was a mistake….”

This time you allow yourself to sigh a laugh. “Only because they seem to hit the nail on the head when it comes to explaining why you are how you are.”

“An asshole?”

“Yeah, Lew.” you gently break free of his embrace and smooth your hands down the front of his tuxedo- straightening his bowtie on the way. “Now you’re getting it.”

He looks as if he’s going to say something else, but you force a smile on your face and shake your head.

“C’mon, Mr. Nixon,” you say with a nod. “Your public awaits you. Best not keep them waiting.”

“Y/N—” He calls as you turn on your heel and walk to open the door.

“I’ll see you down there, Lewis.”

With that admonishing reminder, you open the door and hurry to find the restroom in order to collect yourself.

Dinner was going to be hell.

Of course, Doris sat you beside where Lewis was seated in the middle of the table- Katherine on his left and you on his right.

“Surrounded by his favorite girls,” Mrs. Nixon had cooed, standing behind Lewis’s chair and squeezing his shoulders excitedly. “What a lucky man you are….”

They had only just served the soup and already you wanted to crawl out of your skin.

The only things that saved you were wine and the endless stream of one-sided conversation from Katherine’s young cousin Marcus, who sat to your right.

He couldn’t have been more than sixteen- eyes wide and battle-hungry as he prattled on about the training courses he planned on enrolling in so that he could go to Japan and take revenge for the lives lost during Pearl Harbor. It served as a good distraction from the feeling of Lew’s eyes on your profile, silently begging you to turn and look at him.

You didn’t give in.

Marcus’s heart was in the right place, and it wasn’t his fault that you were trying to drown your distress in the sea of white wine you were creating inside of your belly.

But you had the feeling that if you had to listen to any more talk of what his brother had told him about the Navy and how prestigious their ships were, you were going to smack your head against the table until you passed out.

The only person who seemed to pick up on your distress was Lewis, and right now you were pretty committed to ignoring his attempts of conversation- hoping that by doing so you were strong-arming him into actually talking to Katherine, who was being so charming and well mannered that you felt like you were suffocating.

As you brought your fourth glass of wine to your lips, Lew decided to speak rather than just look.

“Think maybe you should slow down, Y/N?” Lewis says it quietly enough that only you and Katherine can hear him, and when you turn to face him you catch the sight of the other woman suppressing a chuckle into her glass of sparkling water.

A drop of resentment stains your previously high regard for her- her slight amusement being amplified to condescension in your current bitter state.

“Don’t worry ‘bout me, Little Lewie,” you say with a light slur in your voice- one that only those who truly knew you would be able to detect.

As a child, you’d had a slight speech impediment that you’d grown out of with proper training and practice. It was only when you were overly tired or when you drank that it slipped back into your speech.

You could feel that now, its presence heavy on your tongue.

“Just gettin’ it outta my system while I’ve still got the chance……”

When you're able to find his eyes with your own, you see the concern shining in them and suddenly feel like you want to cry.

You can’t help but think that this could’ve been yours- your engagement party, your future.

You’d say that the ring on Katherine’s finger could’ve been yours as well, but if you were being honest you found it too gaudy and flashy for your taste.

Lewis probably would’ve known that, too….would’ve chosen something significantly smaller and much more simple to present to you while down on one knee.

But he’s not mine, should’ve stopped thinking of him as mine a long time ago.

Without another word to him you slid your chair back from the table and stood, nodding appreciatively to the butler who instantly appeared to scoot the chair back into place.

Your mother, who was sitting closer to the door, gave you a worried look as you made to walk past her, silently asking if you were alright.

With a smile that didn’t reach your eyes, you gently placed your hand on her shoulder in false reassurement that you were just fine. You mouth the word ‘bathroom’, as you passed her and exited the dining room.

How you managed not to run up the staircase in search of somewhere you could let your mask of contentment fall away, you have no idea.

But you did. Your finishing school teachers would’ve been proud.

Rushing through the library you knew better than the back of your hand, you quickly found the small, slightly hidden room behind a sculpture that held all the wealth of paper and writing supplies.

The door barely shuts behind you before you suck in a shaking breath, face hot with tears you were refusing to shed. Each exhale sounds as if it’s being punched out of you, hands reaching out into the dark to feel for the wall so you can find the small footstool to sit upon.

You were right, you couldn’t do this.

It was too much, despite how desperately you’d tried to callous over the raw part of your heart that still ached for him. Resting your head in your hands, you try to slow your breathing, to muffle to sobs begging to be freed from your chest.

The sound of the door clicking open has you shooting to your feet in surprise, the wine in your blood making itself known as you teeter slightly and you have to brace your hand against the wall to steady yourself.

The snap of the light being turned on makes you squint at the sudden brightness, the sight of Lewis breathing heavily as he leans against the door to close it behind him making your heart race even faster.

“You shouldn’t-” you have to sniff quickly before finishing your admonishment. “You really shouldn’t be here, Lewis.”

He nods, his Adam's apple jumping in his throat as he swallows, eyes trailing up and down your body. “I know.”

Even as he says it, Lewis starts walking towards you. “I should go….”

Your own breathing has become deep and heavy, lips parted to accommodate the sudden desperate need for more air in your lungs.

Mind having failed you, you search for the right words to send him away- to tell him that what’s about to happen is wrong and that you’re just making it harder on yourselves in the long run.

But all you can think as he reaches you, his hands coming up to hold your face with an unmistaken intention, is that you are going to explode if he doesn’t kiss you right now.

Lucky for you, his thoughts seem to be similarly inclined.

He kisses you so hard that you think your lips will bruise, his hands pulling your face so desperately close that his eyelashes tickle your cheeks as his eyes squeeze shut.

As you moan somewhere deep in your throat, Lewis opens his mouth to swallow the sound. His hair is soft in your hands, your fingers fisting and pulling at it until he makes a groan of his own.

You allow yourself to rise up on your toes to make his head tilt back slightly, gasping into his lips when he suddenly uses his grip on your face to pull your mouth back from his.

He licks his bottom lip, whispering your name so you open your eyes and look at him with a heavy-lidded gaze.

“I-I don’t want to go without one more….” he seems to be at a loss for words, which for Lewis Nixon is truly unusual. But you think you can read his frustrated silence.

Your eyes search his dark ones, uncurling your fists from his roots to bring your thumbs to his forehead and smooth the concerned furrow in his brow.

“Okay,” you whisper, coming down off of your toes to brush your nose against his. “Then do it.”

As if your words were a racing gun’s shot, Lewis hungrily kisses you again- backing you up against the wall and clutching at you with carnal desperation.

You lose yourself in his fervor, scratching your nails down the back of his neck just shy of leaving a mark and moving to loosen his bowtie.

He catches your hands and pins them beside your head, squeezing them in a silent request to keep them there. You nod into the kiss, gasping for breath when he tears his mouth from yours and drops to his knees before you.

Looking down your body at him, you pant lewdly as you watch his hands disappear beneath the skirt of your dress and hurriedly pull your underpants down around your ankles.

The only patience he shows is in his careful assistance of helping your step out of them, but then he is immediately returning to his pilgrimage to the warm place between your thighs- bunching the deep violet-blue fabric in one fist while his other hand encourages your thigh up and over his shoulder.

He kisses you down there just as thoroughly as he had your mouth, licking the hot petals greedily to part the way to your clit before attacking it noisily and skillfully. Your head makes a dull sound as it lolls back to hit the wall, your hips surging forward at the gentle and unintentional scrape of his teeth against the soft flesh.

In an apologetic motion, the hand holding your dress beside your waist rubbing its thumb soothingly across your side.

You allow one of your hands to drop from beside your head to rest over his, your sigh of forgiveness getting lost in a breathy keen of pleasure.

“Shit,” you sigh, bowing your head forward to watch him look up at you from between your legs. “Jesus Christ, Lewis!”

Rather than take his mouth from you to reply, he elects to moan into your sex, the vibration striking somewhere deep inside of you that has your thighs quaking. Your eyes drift closed as he continues to suckle on you, the sound of him inhaling sharply through his nose making you feel dizzy with heady desire.

It had been almost a year since he’d last gone down on you- only because that was the last time you were afforded enough time for such foreplay.

And he’d only gotten better at it.

With careful yet distracted motions, he maneuvers the hand covering his so you are now holding your skirt up and out of the way for him. You open your eyes at the same moment you feel his fingers curl inside of you, an airy mewl slipping past your lips before you can stop it.

“I’m gonna cum,” you mumble stupidly down at him, finally bringing your other hand down to fist in his hair again as you begin to see the white-hot orgasm creeping into the sides of your vision. “Too soon….I’m sorry, it’s too soon—!”

His intentional humming around your bud paired with the cruelly perfect crook of his fingers sends your careening over the precipice of pleasure.

Your body shakes and your hips buck uncontrollably as he refuses to relent his near fervent milking of your orgasm.

You keep expecting him to stop, to pull away from you and start to seek his own release.

But he just doesn’t stop.

“What’re you doing?” you ask brokenly, keening into another moan as he slips one more finger inside of you. “Get up here and—ohhh!”

“Again, “ you hear him grunt into you with a near frantic tone. “Give me one more….”

You’re absolutely lost as he ushers you into another orgasm, mouth feeling dry from the open mouth panting you’ve had to resort to in order to remain lucid.

“I need you,” you whimper pathetically, your eyes open and unseeing as you gasp for breath in a vain attempt at cooling the fire burning in your body. “Please, I need you inside me….please, Lewis!”

It feels like he’s only just unsealed his lips from your sex when suddenly his tongue is in your mouth and his hand is cupped around the back of your head, kissing you languidly as your thrumming ears pick up on the soft sounds of fabric being untucked and trousers being shoved open and down.

Before you can manage to find the coordination to bring your hands down to help him free his cock, you feel him bringing the same thigh that had been over his shoulder up to hook around his hip.

With a familiarity that aches in both your heart and your core, you wrap your arm around his shoulders and nod into the kiss, just as you had that first time in your dorm room after the night of your Junior prom.

After one more soft peck, Lewis sheaths himself fully inside of you.

Your face twists at the abrupt fullness that stretches your sex to the sweet-stinging point that you ache for more often than you liked to admit, eyes flashing open in euphoric alarm as the man you’d loved since you were fifteen fucked into you with a punishing pace.

Apparently, he was just as desperate for you as you had been for him.

It’s now he who is making desperate noises that have to be muffled, his face buried into the slope where your shoulder meets your neck.

At some point, he’s managed to undo the button at the top of the back of your dress, nosing the fabric around your collarbones open so he can latch his lips to the flesh at the curve of your shoulder- worrying at the skin with tongue, teeth, and lips.

If you were in a teasing mood, you’d accuse him of having an oral fixation.

Lewis would make another comment about how much he regretted giving you the books by Sigmund Freud.

You’d try to offer some witty retort, only to be cut off by him pinching at your clit and biting at your lip.

It was so easy, everything with him just felt so good and comfortable and warmly familiar.

As if he can hear your thoughts, he presses his temple to yours so his lips are at your ear.

“It should be you,” he nearly whines. “I’ve only ever wanted you—”

The sob that bursts past your lips is so bitter and childish that even Lewis seems to notice through his haze, pulling his head back in time to catch sight of the tears rolling down your cheeks.

“I’m sorry,” he grunts as he kisses the tears off of your skin. “I love you and I’m sorry.”

Just as your first moan had been, your first deep sob is captured by his mouth. Your lips are salty and you can feel from his shaking lips that he’s struggling to keep his own upset at bay.

The hand that was holding your thigh wraps around it to press a thumb against your clit, and you can’t stop the stream of babbling that follows the movement.

You can’t shut up about how much you love him and how angry you are with him and how badly you wished things were different.

“I know,” he mumbles to each admonishment and devotion you utter, his voice becoming tight as you intentionally squeeze down on him with everything that you’d got. “I know, I know, Please love me anyway, I know.”

It’s the sound of Lewis coming undone that sends you into your second orgasm, holding on for dear life as he brokenly thrusts into you a few more times before yanking himself away to spill himself onto the wall beside you- bracing his arm there as you blindly reach down to stroke him as well.

You both stand there, breathing as if you’d both just sprinted across the fields behind his house.

Using the wall as a support, you turn to face him and press your forehead to his sweaty temple, the hand of the arm against the wall moving to rest atop your head as he shudders and stills in your hand.

“Good,” you breathlessly praise him as you gently release his cock. “So fucking good….”

As you bring your hand to your mouth to suck it clean, Lewis curses lowly as his eyes follow the movement, like you’ve hurt him somehow.

Before you can reach your hand down to get more, Nix grabs your wrist and holds it in the air.

“Don’t you dare,” he whooshes out with an exhale, turning his head to kiss you deeply enough that you know he can taste himself. “I’m gonna fucking cum again if you do shit like that…”

You give him a small smile, pecking a quicker kiss on his lips.

“Didn’t think you’d be open to letting me lick it from you directly.”

His wicked smile is lazy, wrapping his arm around your waist as you make to push yourself away and twisting your bodies so he’s now the one leaning against the wall with you pressed against him.

‘Not yet,” he pleads into the crook of your neck. “Please, not just yet.”

And, because you’re a terrible and weak person, you stay.

When his fingers start to undo the buttons holding your dress together in the back, you shake your head.

“One more,” he murmurs as your dress starts to fall loose around your shoulders. “Just once more….”

Despite knowing how much you’re going to hate yourself for doing so, you nod and lower your arms so your dress pools around your feet.

“Okay,” you whisper. “Just once more.” ~ ~ ~ (HELLO I LOVE YOU AND SORRY FOR ANOTHER SERIES WHEN I HAVE ONLY EVER ACTUALLY FINISHED ONE BUT THIS IS WHO I AM AND IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT THEN I AGREE WITH YOU, TBH)

Taglist: @mrseasycompany @itswormtrain @mrsalwayswrite @happyveday @sunsetmando @ricksmorty @liebgotttme

also let me know if you want to be added to le taglist bc i am a silly lily who will forget unless i’m constantly reminded

also also here’s the dress i used for reference bc what are outfits

#band of brothers imagines #band of brothers x reader #lewis nixon x reader #problematicfavesareproblematic

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moonknightly · 4 years

Text

and you keep me holding on : santiago “pope” garcia x reader (one)

Word Count: 3.3k+

Excerpt: “But she just isn’t quick enough, isn’t strong enough, and it isn’t long before her world fades to black.”

Warnings: Swearing, blood, violence, kidnapping, uhhh bad writing.

A/N: So like...I used she/her for this, but there’s not a name mentioned, so I’m still counting it as a reader insert. Cool? Cool.

[SERIES MASTERLIST]

OCTOBER 17TH - DAY ONE

It’s just after nine o’clock when she finally makes it home from work, feet aching, a deep sigh escaping her lips as she lets herself fall back against the front door for just a moment, trying to get her shoulders to relax. Her eyes fall shut as she feels the exhaustion begin to seep into the cracks of her skin and settle deep within her bones, and she can’t tell if the tension that plagues her entire body is getting better or worse with each passing second.

She can’t remember the last time she had felt so completely exhausted.

Normally, she doesn’t mind the twelve hour shifts at the hospital. She loves the patient interaction, the challenges. She’s proud of her job and what she accomplishes day in and day out as an E.R. nurse. But fuck, there are days where she gets home and everything just hurts and she wonders if maybe she should just quit and become a stay at home wife.

She could never, but she’s thought about it.

It wasn’t even that long of a shift, and it certainly wasn’t a hard one by any means. There have been nights where she’s been forced to stay well past shift change, and she knows that there will be many more nights like that to come, but the exhaustion she feels now doesn’t even come close to what she’s experienced on those long nights. She’s just so tired, and she wants nothing more than to curl up on the sofa with her favorite blanket and the takeout she picked up from a sandwich shop down the street.

Actually, there’s one thing she wants more. She really wants to be snuggled up with her husband rather than burrowing herself into a furry blanket in search of the same warmth that he provides, but he’s still at work, stuck behind a desk for God only knows how much longer. When she stopped by his office on her way home for the night, it seemed as if he had been nowhere near finished with the mountain of paperwork littering his desk. She knew immediately that it was going to be one of those nights where she would be lucky if he returned home before she fell asleep.

She’s gotten rather used to it, though — falling asleep without Santi. It’s not ideal, it never had been, and if she was being completely honest she probably would prefer staying with him over being home without him. She would do nothing but sit at the desk across from him until midnight if it meant she was able to just simply be in his presence, if she got to look over at him and see him just as bored and tired as her. And she would’ve stayed had he not practically forced her to leave.

Another sigh escapes her lips. She just wants Santi.

A warm shower will have to do instead.

She pushes away from the door and saunters into the kitchen, throwing her takeout bag into the fridge. She’s not ready to eat just yet, really doesn’t want to eat alone though she knows she’ll cave after taking a shower. She can already feel her stomach growling.

She turns on a few lamps around the apartment before making her way to their shared bedroom, placing her stethoscope and her phone on the table next to her side of the bed. For a moment, she considers skipping both her shower and dinner in favor of crawling underneath her warm and cozy blankets, but she knows that she’ll be mad at herself in the morning for not rinsing off at the very least. She really needs to start taking her showers at the hospital, just so she still has the motivation to even take one at all.

She quickly sheds herself of her scrubs, throwing them into the hamper that sits in the corner of their closet before heading to the bathroom, the hardwood floor cold on her bare feet. She grabs a towel and washcloth, sets the shower to the perfect temperature, and then stepps in underneath the warm spray, some of that damned tension instantly leaving her body.

A content groan flies past her lips as the hot water runs down her skin, soothing her aching muscles wherever it touches. She leans her head back, closing her eyes and wetting her hair, letting the water trail down her face and chin, and she stands there, completely still for several minutes, relishing in the feeling of finally being able to relax, washing the day down the drain where it belonged. The only thing that could possibly make it better were if Santi-

She hears something move in the bedroom, and while the initial noise of a drawer being slid open makes her jump, the following jingle of keys instantly calms her down.

Every night as soon as he gets home, Santiago throws his keys and his gun into his bedside table. It has to be him.

And not only that, but she’s positive she locked the front door. She even checked each window she passed on her way to the bathroom, a habit Santi had instilled in her, and she knows that she would’ve heard someone breaking in even over the sound of running water.

“Babe?”

He doesn’t answer and she frowns, but she knows him well enough to know that his silence meant something went wrong at work — it’s not an uncommon occurrence for Santi to be in a mood for the first hour or so after arriving home.

“You’re home earlier than I thought you’d be.”

More silence.

“You wanna come shower with me and tell me what happened?”

Again, he doesn’t answer and she merely sighs to herself, turning to face the front of the shower, reaching to shut the water off when she feels a small breeze hit the back of her legs that makes her stop. She watches the shower curtain flutter a bit before sliding open, the metal rings noisy against the rod, and she peeks over her shoulder to look at her husband, beyond ready to pull him into her arms and kiss him, ready to feel his warms skin and itchy stubble against her.

She turns, and then she freezes again, unable to do anything but stare.

It doesn't take her even a second to realize that it’s not Santi standing in front of her.

Not even close.

She’s not staring into a pair of familiar brown eyes — eyes that never fail to make her feel so safe and loved, eyes that feel like home. She’s not even staring into the blue eyes that she knows belong to the man in front of her; a man who is no stranger, but is certainly no friend.

No, she’s staring down the metal barrel of a gun.

And she doesn’t allow herself even a moment for her brain to process and register.

The hours of training, everything Santi has ever taught her about survival and defense — his instructions, the instinct immediately kicks in as if she’s on autopilot, exactly like he told her it would. She’s not going to go down without a fight.

But she just isn’t quick enough, isn’t strong enough, and it’s not long before her head meets the mirror and her world fades to black.

There are police everywhere. Santi is sitting on the edge of their bed and he can’t stop shaking, can’t stop bouncing his leg to at least give the impression that he still has some control left over his body. Cameron, his old Lieutenant from his days as a detective, is saying something to him — words of comfort that do nothing to soothe his racing mind and his aching heart, and even if they did calm him down he can’t bring himself to listen, doesn’t even pretend to. He knows that she can tell, but there’s no way that she can act even remotely annoyed. Not then.

Santi feels so, so lost. All he can think about is the pool of blood in the middle of their bathroom, what he knows has to be her blood, and the fact that she’s not curled up in their bed like she should be. She wasn’t there to give him a kiss hello the second he walked through the door, she’s not there for him to hold, to love on, to lose himself in. She isn’t there and Santi had never felt so completely helpless, so confused and frazzled and worried.

Never. Never in a million years did he imagine walking into such a grizzly, vicious crime scene within his own home. The blood, the shards of glass from the broken bathroom mirror. The shower curtain torn from the hooks and shampoo bottles scattered across the floor. The once steaming water still running, now ice cold and only serving as another unwanted reminder that he had been too late.

She had put up one hell of a fight, that much was clear, and Santi feels disgusted at the pride that swells in his chest. Utterly disgusted because for just a moment, the pride outweighs his worry.

That’s his girl.

Tears begin to form behind his eyes at the thought, but he pushes the self-loathing down. His own feelings are the last thing he needs to be focusing on.

He can be selfish later, when the lights are off and the apartment is empty. Only then will he let himself cry, and God will he cry. Cry and scream and pray and then scream some more. He’ll curse at God for letting this happen and then pray again and again and again until his voice is hoarse.

But no, he won’t focus on his own feelings until later, until she’s back home safe and sound because he needs to put his complete focus into making that happen. She needs him.

Santi knows the statistics, knows how crucial the first forty eight hours are.

He’s already down three, maybe four. All because he’d been too late, all because he-

He stops himself.

Facts. He needs to focus on the facts.

The gun he keeps locked away in a safe under the bed, a safe that he was sure his wife didn’t even know the combination to, is missing though nothing else seems to be out of place. Her cellphone, her purse, everything she usually came home with was right where it should be, her jewelry box hadn’t been moved or gone through as far as he could tell.

It wasn’t a robbery gone wrong, that was clear, and the realization that this was something far more personal makes him sick to his stomach.

Santi doesn’t understand how something like this could happen, doesn’t understand who could hate her or him so much that they would resort to kidnapping, would resort to taking the one thing that matters most to him. A former perp, perhaps. Someone Santi had put away for a few odd years. He makes a mental note to check the database for anyone who had been released in the last few months.

He can feel his blood begin to boil as the initial shock starts to wear off. God, he’s angry. So, so angry. The love of his life, his reason for existing is missing and hurt and all he can do at the moment is sit there and try his hardest to answer the questions that are thrown his way by the detectives — his co-workers, their friends.

He suddenly understands why people always grow so agitated with him during initial questioning. It feels almost redundant, like it’s doing nothing to help and is only wasting time.

And Santi finds himself stuck between a rock and a hard place, because he’d been a detective for a few years between getting out of the military and joining the DEA. This had been his job, and it’s something that he continues to see every single day — something he knows how to deal with from a professional standpoint.

But this isn’t work. This isn’t just a case being passed into his hands.

It’s her, it's his wife.

And while his first instinct is to handle it like a detective would, he’s her husband and she’s gone and he has no idea where to even begin.

He hears Jay, a detective he knows well and would even consider one of his closest friends, say something about finding blood out on the fire escape. Santiago immediately tries to think of the surrounding buildings, if any would have cameras that might have captured anything at all. He thinks about the coffee shop on the first floor of their building, but it’ll take hours to track down the owner and get them in so they can review the tapes. And judging by the amount of blood on the bathroom floor, she doesn’t have hours.

Santi slams his hand against the mattress in frustration, causing each detective and tech in the room to glance his way in concern and worry, though they all stay silent for close to a minute, all unsure of what to say or if it was even okay for them to move.

“She’s strong, man,” Jay says once the silence becomes close to unbearable. “We’ll find her.”

“Jay,” Parker mumbles in response, the other detective’s voice stern, almost as if she’s chastising a small child.

Santi knows why. He knows that Parker is thinking the same thing he’d just been considering himself.

They both know what her chances of still being alive are, and they know that they’re not in her favor.

But Jay seems so sure of himself, his conviction and his drive makes Santi curse under his breath because he knows that he should be the one spewing words of optimism and hope. If anyone should have faith in her ability to survive, it should be him.

And so, he refuses to let himself think that way any longer, he won’t let himself fall into such a low place so soon into the investigation. There’s still a chance, still hope, and Santi will cling to both until he has her back in his arms, right where she belongs. He will cling to it until someone forcefully rips it out from under him, and even then, he’s not entirely sure that he’ll give up.

“He’s right,” Santi finally says, his leg still bouncing though faster than before. “We’ll find her.”

Jay smiles reassuringly, nodding his head once, and Parker frowns disapprovingly, believing that any sense of hope they’re holding onto is false, but she kept quiet.

Cameron can’t bring herself to say anything. All she can do is nod once and try her hardest to keep her frown from turning into a full on grimace.

She’s angry, of course she is. Her co-worker’s wife, a nurse who always took such good care of any victim Cameron brought to her, her friend had been taken. She knows that none of them should even be anywhere near the case, knows that it’s far too personal, but she also knows that Santi won’t allow anyone else to oversee it. As long as they all remain professional, she doesn’t see an issue with keeping her squad on it.

Jay is the first to break the silence again. “Come on, let’s get you out of here.”

Santi looks up at the other man, a protest or question, could be either, pursed on his lips, but Jay doesn't give him the chance to speak before he continues on.

“You can’t stay here, man. Not tonight, at least.”

Santi only frowns, but Parker nods in agreement.

“He’s right.”

Everyone can see the apprehension on Santi’s face. What if she comes back in the middle of the night, hurt and scared and looking for him? He wouldn’t be there when she needed him, for the second time that day, and the thought makes his stomach churn and the panic begins to settle back between his ribs, making it hard for him to breathe. He starts to shake his head aggressively, like a toddler who didn’t get their way, when Cameron finally finds her voice.

“I’ll stay here and keep an eye on everything,” she says, almost as if she could read his mind.

Santi meets her eyes, seeming to search for something within them, though she’s not sure what. Honesty, maybe? Sincerity? A promise? She can understand why he wouldn’t be the most trusting person just then.

But after a second or two, his shoulders sag even further, if that were at all possible. He knows he needs to listen.

“Cam, it’s okay. It’s not like I’m going to get much sleep anyways.”

“You can at least try,” she sighs, voice stern, leaving no room for argument. “You definitely won’t get any if you stay here. Let Jay take you back to his place.”

Santi looks as if he wants to protest again, but his expression quickly morphs into one of compliance. Cameron nods once, signifying that her order is final before she excuses herself.

Without another word, Santi stands from the bed, his legs feeling as if they’ll buckle beneath him at any given moment, and he makes his way into the closet. He grabs a random overnight bag and stuffs a few sets of clothes inside, not really caring whether or not anything matches or whether they’ll wrinkle. He probably shouldn’t be taking them in the first place, shouldn’t have touched anything until the techs were completely through with their search. He doesn’t care. If he’s being forced to leave, he just wants to get out of there.

And he’s just about to walk back into the bedroom when something on her side of the closet catches his eye.

Sitting on the shelf, half hidden by clothes hanging down from the rack, is a stuffed wolf that she’d kept from when she was a little girl. She’d named him Nevada, though she could never explain why, and Santi knows for a fact that he had been in the bed that morning, just like he'd been every morning before — she refused to sleep without Nevada, something he had never once teased her for, something that honestly made him fall even harder for her when they first met.

He grabs the stuffed animal gently in his hands, as if it were made of fragile glass rather than stuffing and fabric, and upon further examination, after feeling a cool brush of metal against his fingertips, he notices something that makes his heart stop and his blood run cold.

Her wedding band and engagement ring are both shoved onto the tail, impeccably polished and glistening as always.

Santi feels his head start to spin. He stumbles backwards, catching himself on the wall and he immediately feels like he’s going to be sick but he only dry heaves, his stomach empty.

He shakes his head once, twice, three times. Who would take the time to leave her wedding rings behind? Not only that, but to put them on a stuffed animal that meant so much to her and move that as well?

Most would take the rings and pawn them, would never even glance towards a stuffed wolf sitting in a bed. It’s far too personal and Santi-

It’s far too personal.

The realization hits Santi like a truck and sends him pushing off the wall at a velocity that nearly causes him trip over his own two feet. He comes stumbling out of the closet, face pale and beads of sweat starting to form on his forehead. The squad stops their conversation and all turn to him with raised eyebrows and varying levels of concern written across their faces.

“Her ex-boyfriend,” he pants, not realizing that he’d been holding his breath until that very moment. “Nathan Graham. Complete lunatic. We had to file a no contact order after we got married.”

Jay’s already pulling an officer off to the side before Santi can even finish his sentence, and he gives the deputy strict instructions to run the guy’s name and gather all of the information he can, and to do it quickly.

“Do you know if there was any history of abuse?”

Santi freezes, and he looks like he doesn’t want to answer, because really, he doesn’t. He knows that she hates to admit it, has never wanted anyone to know. She didn’t even want to tell Santi at first, but when Nathan started trying to wedge his way back into her life, she’d been forced to.

After a few seconds of silently battling with himself, Santi nods, knowing that it’s important information that he needed to divulge.

Another sigh escapes Cameron’s lips.

“Looks like you’re not getting any sleep after all, Pope.”

#santiago pope garcia #santiago pope garcia x reader #triple frontier #triple frontier x reader #triple frontier imagine

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mmsapataoltda · 3 years

Text

Heartbeat (PART 1)

Lin Beifong woke up one day and heard something she didn't expect.

part 2

fic under the cut

When Toph Beifong retired from the Police Force, she left everything behind. Including the city she had helped found, the house where she raised her daughters... and Lin.

Lin, for her part, decided to keep the house intact. She had moved from there after Su moved in with her grandparents. She rented an apartment near the industrial park. The place was small, but it was all her Lieutenant's salary allowed her to pay. Three years had passed and she had succeeded in silencing any and all rumors about her two very apparent new scars, making use of her characteristic frown and brief excuse of "equipment malfunction". After the incident she used a good part of her little free time to design a new armor that had a scroll system with locks that would prevent anyone else from getting hurt. Three years had passed and Lin hadn't heard a word from Suyin or Toph Beifong.

Lin was awakened by a lazy kiss on her neck and Tenzin's beard against her skin, she murmured in satisfaction as Tenzin began to trail kisses down to her shoulders and collarbone, but then he pulled away, making Lin miss the heat of his body and snort frustrated. The airbender picked up his pants from the floor and began to put them on.

- You can't wake me up like that and just walk away. - she complained raising her torso and leaning on her elbows

- Sorry Lin, I'm already late, my Father is waiting for me for the first classes. - He put his arms through his shirt - But I'll see you at lunch, right?

Lin muttered an affirmation as she rolled over on her bed to lie on her stomach. Tenzin admired her bare back for a few seconds before approaching her and kissing between her shoulder blade goodbye, finishing pulling on his shirt as he walked away.

- See you at lunch then. - Lin grunted in response waving her hand

Lin had taken the night shift the day before, which meant she didn't have to be at the Police Station until nine, guaranteeing her a few more hours in bed. After tossing around in the sheets for a few more minutes she decided to get up, she could never go back to sleep once awake. She sat up and stretched her arms, feeling her body shudder as she stretched. She urned on her side, planted her feet on the floor and stood up. As soon as her head stopped spinning from the sudden change of position she felt something that made her blood run like ice through her veins and she almost fell back onto the bed. She felt a small and rapid heartbeat. And suddenly the nausea she'd felt for the past few weeks took on a name.

Lin couldn't be pregnant, she didn't even know if she wanted children. They had been careful. But Toph also had, and there she and Su were to tell the story. She loved Tenzin, and she loved her work and that was enough for her. She didn't have the slightest problem imagining a future where she didn't have children.

Lin didn't hate children, but she didn't love them either. Despite that children surprisingly, for her at least, adored her. The metalbender didn't even try to make them like her, but somehow the kids always clung to her, which was one of the only times Lin accidentally let her soft side show up. But she could get back to her serious and sarcastic state in seconds when she went back to talking to adults or when people dared to point out that she was "soft around kids". Deep down she loved the fact that children liked her despite her distant and intimidating exterior, not that she would ever admit it.

Lin couldn't tell if the nausea she felt next was caused by the anxiety that was churning in her stomach or by the second heartbeat she heard. After throwing up in the toilet she crawled to the sink and studied herself in the mirror and almost saw the word "PREGNANT" stamped on her forehead and felt her stomach churn once more. She decided to get ready for work, staying home until her shift would just give her more time to think. She left without breakfast, not trusting her stomach to hold anything.

As soon as she stepped inside the Police Station she heard someone calling her:

- Beifong! - it was Chief Song, she turned towards his voice, he was walking towards her - I'll nominate you for the Captain position. - he informed and Lin's stomach turned for the umpteenth time that morning

- But Chief, I still need to serve one more year as a Lieutenant. - she said trying to keep her voice steady as her stomach turned

- I'm not asking Lieutenant, you will take the exam for Captain.

- Yes, Chief. - she replied clicking her heels and he walked away

Her head was spinning. There were too many things going on at the same time. All she ever wanted was to be Chief and now she was one step closer to that goal, but now she was pregnant and she knew what that meant for her career. She huffed to herself before heading up to the office floor. She knew that the position of Captain would be the highest position she would have if she decided to go through with this pregnancy.

- Lin! - she heard Saikhan's voice approaching - Chief Song spoke to you? Are you okay? You’re paler than usual. -He added as soon as he finished analyzing his partner's face

- I am fine. - she replied she dryly - He just spoke to me.

- You deserve it, worked at an absurd pace for this. No wonder you will take the exam one year ahead of schedule. - He said in the most animated tone that his moody personality would allow and congratulated her with a pat on the back -Are you sure you're alright? - he asked again, Lin was almost green

She was aware of everything Saikhan had said. But hearing those words out loud made her feel the weight of the things she would have to give up. She had worked tirelessly for the past eight years for that opportunity and now something stopped her.

- Yeah, I just need... air. - she was interrupted by an uncontrollable urge and almost ran to the bathroom closest to the office floor

When she came back after a few minutes she knew she looked as miserable as she felt just by the look her partner was giving her. The second heartbeat stunned her and seemed to be the only thing she could hear. It was ridiculous, she thought, Toph had taught her to filter out the sounds she could pick up from the earth with her seismic sense many years ago, but nothing seemed to work and slow down the noise of the little heart.

- Have you told Tenzin yet? - Saikhan asked following her to the break room when Lin decided to ignore him

- Did I tell him what? - she asked harshly without turning to him, thanks to the Spirits the room was empty

- Please, I think I can recognize morning sickness when I see one. I have a child at home and another one on the way, you know?

-And that never afected your career. - she replied bitterly - The privileges of having a penis...

- What do you mean? - he spun her on her heel so she looked at him

- We both know that this is where my career stops if I have a child. - Saikhan didn't answer

- You need to talk to Tenzin. - he said after a few moments absorbing what that meant to his friend

- I will not. At least not now - he studied her confused - You know what having a child means to him. I won't tell him until I'm sure what I'm going to do. - she turned to the cabinet to get a mug

- What are you going to do?

- I do not know. - she confessed, she hated not knowing - This is not exactly something I planned. - she picked up the coffee pot and filled her cup with it - Or wanted. -she completed almost in a whisper as she poured a more than generous amount of sugar into the black liquid

- You need to talk to Tenzin. - he said resting his hand on Lin's shoulder and walked away leaving the break room

The first few hours of her shift dragged by and she thanked whoever was listening in for having a busy afternoon. Lin tried not to concentrate on the little heart beating so as not to hear it and when her lunch break arrived she was almost resigned to it’s presence. Almost.

Tenzin was waiting for her sitting on one of the reception stools. He frowned as she approached, noticing that something was making her anxious. The airbender boldly embraced her, but Lin pulled away and asked stiffly:

- Let's go?

During lunch Lin remained quieter than usual, she looked uncomfortable in her chair and barely touched her food. When they made their usual way past Avatar Park to get to the Headquarters they stopped at the lake to feed the turtleducks, as they always did. Everything was going as usual but Lin's silence were getting the better of Tenzin, so he asked:

- Lin, did something happen at the police station today? You're distant. - Tenzin almost lost his breath when Lin looked up at him and noticed her eyes full of tears

- I have to tell you something. - She confessed involving her torso with her arms - That will change everything from now on. - the airbender suddenly became anxious

- You know you can tell me anything. - he replied, doing his best not to let his nervousness show in his voice

- I'm pregnant.

Of all the things Lin could say to him, that was definitely not what he was expecting.

- Pregnant? - was the only thing he could say - H-how? - stuttered

- Well... You know when you put your pe...

- I know how! - exclaimed interrupting her and feeling the redness rise in his chest

- You asked!

Tenzin always wanted children, more than that, he needed children. The Air Nation's future depended on him, and not so indirectly on Lin to continue to exist, though neither liked to bring that issue into question. The airbender noticed that Lin was anxious once again, watching him waiting for a reaction.

- Lin, this is great! It wasn't exactly planned, but I couldn't be happier. - Lin couldn't remember ever seeing Tenzin as happy as he was at that moment. He enveloped her in a tight hug pulling her off the ground - I love you so much.

- I love you too.

Tenzin's sheer joy infected her, which made her question whether this might not be a good thing in the end and she thought that maybe, maybe she could do this for him.

A few weeks had passed and Tenzin and Lin still hadn't shared the news with Katara and Aang. They knew that the older couple would be over the moon with the news, but that would lead to A Conversation, as the two were not yet married.

Katara's 61st birthday party had arrived and Kya had spared no effort in the celebration, although Katara had stopped her from inviting everyone in her contact list. The family house of Air Temple Island was attended by none other than Fire Lord Zuko, Fire Lady Mai, who were talking to Tenzin and Lin, who carried Ursa on her hip. Princess Izumi, who was perched with Kya on the couch while Bumi waved his arms and told one of his absurd stories. Katara and Aang were seated at a table in the corner of the room, chatting quietly with Iroh, who had a lot of opinion for a 12-year-old boy, Lin liked that. She adored Izumi's children, they were smart and intelligent, even 2 years old Ursa was very alert to everything around her and always tried to participate in the adults' conversation.

Everything was going wonderfully well even for the introverts of the Fire Nation and the resident of Republic City, until Lin felt small footsteps, which she hadn't felt in three years, coming closer. She was the first to look at the huge double front doors. Everyone held their breath as Toph's small figure appeared behind the door and beside Sokka, and after a few seconds everyone's gazes turned to Lin, who clung to Tenzin's arm.

- Don't make it weird. - Toph was the first to break the silence - I came. Big deal! Can a lady no longer even visit her elderly friend?

At this point Izumi had already walked to Lin offering to carry Ursa, Lin accepted with a minimal nod, overwhelmed by the emotions she had cautiously buried over the past three years.

- Wait. – Toph asked raising her hand and everyone stopped breathing one more time – How many are we in? Is anyone else here?

The baby. Lin's mind despaired and she clung more tightly to Tenzin's arm as he caressed her hand trying to reassure her. Toph went over the people present, paying attention to each one of them. Snoozles, Sparky, Mai, Izuzu and her two miniatures, Twinkle Toes, Suggar Queen, Suggar Princess, Wild Child, Airhead, Linny and... a small, strong heartbeat radiating from her. Lin saw Toph's right foot turn toward her. Toph confirmed what she felt right away, an extra heart, beating quickly in time with her own daughter's, silently and with a knowing look she raised one of her eyebrows and let out a huff.

- I must have miscounted. – she said quietly without looking away from her eldest daughter – Are we going to get the party started or what? - she asked and then walked over to Katara congratulating her with a half hug

The environment had regained its pleasant energy from before, but everyone had lost sight of Lin and Tenzin. Lin was in the hall bathroom with her head buried in the toilet emptying his stomach while Tenzin held her hair and stroked her back. She pulled away from the porcelain still panting and sat on the floor resting her back against the wall.

- I hate you. – she said looking deep into Tenzin’s eyes who smiled – Why do they call it morning sickness if this shit lasts all day? – Tenzin helped her up from the floor and she went to the sink to wash her face and mouth

When she raised her face to the mirror, her soul almost left her body as she was startled by the reflection of her mother standing behind them.

- Chief! - she exclaimed taking a hand to her chest

Toph was standing with her back against the doorframe, her arms crossed over her chest and her bare feet crossed over each other.

- You almost killed me with morning sickness when I got pregnant with you. – she said as if that was a common subject – You took a while to knock her up, huh Airhead?! - Tenzin's face turned red

- Chief! – Lin scolded and Tenzin was ready to leave the bathroom to let the two Beifong talk when Toph's arm blocked the passage

- I'm pretty sure Suggar Queen already knows about the baby, she must be giving you time or some bullshit like that.

- How...? – Lin started, but Toph interrupted her with a huff.

- Lin, you don't have to be a Detective to know the answer. This little thing is very noisy. - She said pointing to her daughter's womb - And I may be blind, but I know that your tits are twice the normal size. - Tenzin's gaze settled on his girlfriend's bust, but soon after he was scolded by her with a slap on his bald head and a sharp look

- Stop looking at my breasts! – She said through gritted teeth – It was that face of yours that got us into this mess in the first place!

- And you haven't touched a drop of alcohol since the minute I arrived, which alone is a big clue. My pregnancies were a little delicate. You should talk to Katara. Just to make sure there's no need to take any precautions. – Toph said calmly and left the bathroom as if nothing had happened leaving behind a couple exchanging glances, Tenzin was clearly worried, but Lin was furious

As her mother dared to show up after three years of silence to act as if nothing had happened, to give her advice about a pregnancy she was still getting used to. Lin was furious and Tenzin could tell, he tried to grab her hand, but she took it out of his reach quickly. That was his fault. But as she looked up into the airbender's face, she could see he was genuinely concerned about the information Toph had just revealed.

- I'm sorry for taking it out on you. She makes me so… - Lin clenched her fists in front of her chest and snorted – I just need a second. – Tenzin nodded slowly, Lin tilted her head to the side to study his worried expression – Hey Airhead, don't look like this, everything will be fine.

- Look at you being optimistic. – he commented now in a good mood, receiving an elbow in the ribs as an answer – I'll go back to the party.You need a minute? Lin nodded and Tenzin left the bathroom turning to her and giving her one last look. She is so beautiful, he smiled

Lin grabbed the sink bowl once more. The anger she was feeling toward Toph still hadn't dissipated, but she didn't want to make a scene in front of everyone. Now her irritation was mixed with the same concern that had shown in Tenzin's eyes earlier. She turned away from the sink to study her reflection in the mirror, she lifted her tunic and watched her belly in the reflection. She ran her hand gently over it, it was as plane as it had ever been.

- Don't you dare start creating problems now, understand kid? – she said in her Lieutenant's voice

Ursa came running as best she could to meet her as Lin returned to the living room.

- She likes you more than me. – Izumi commented dramatically while Lin accommodated Ursa on her hip, and the two responded by sticking their tongues at the princess – Very mature Linny.

Lin was doing very well at avoiding a screaming match with Toph. But when she overheard her talking to Katara about Zaofu, the city Suyin had build, she blurted out angrily:

- Have you been talking to Su? - Toph and Katara turned to her. The earthbender wore an indifferent expression, but Katara's eyes watered as she noticed Lin's wounded look. - Wants to know? Forget it. That's why we haven't spoken in three years. – Lin put her hands on her hips – I'm sorry for the party, Aunt Katara. - was the last thing she said before leaving the house

Tenzin started to follow her, but Kya's hand holding hers stopped him.

- Let her be. - she said sweetly

Sokka found her 10 minutes later under the mango-jasmine, folding pebbles from the ground and tossing them over the hill. He had waited a few minutes before leaving to look for her, just like his niece, he knew she needed a few moments alone.

- I knew I'd find you here. – he stopped beside her, enjoying the view from the hill

For the past three years Sokka had visited Lin every chance he got.

- Don't start making excuses for her. – Lin said after a few moments of silence, still not turning to him

- I won't, I know she's wrong. We've argued about it a lot, but you know how she’s like. – Lin snorted

- She left. She showed no sign of life for three years. If it weren't for you I wouldn't know if she was dead or alivet. And now I find out that she's been talking to Su, even after everything she's done. While all I've done in my life was trying to make her proud. I understand she's your daughter, but… - she trailed off, stubborn and hot tears running down her cheek as her arms gripped her body – And now… – she was interrupted by Sokka's embrace and Lin let the sob she had been holding escape.

- You're my daughter, Lin. I love you from the moment I knew you were coming. You are my daughter.

Lin cried for a few more moments on Sokka's shoulder.

- I'm Pregnant. - she blurted out through her tears

Sokka pulled away from her a little not enough to break the embrace, but enough so that he could look at Lin.

- Am I going to be a grandfather? - he asked with shining eyes

- Yes. - Lin replied with a laugh as she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

- I'm going to be grandfather! - She exclaimed taking both hands to his head and laughing and then hugged her daughter once more, his eyes shining with emotion

- I love you, Ba. - she said snuggling in his embrace

Lin and Sokka sat under the mango-jasmine and talked about things that made Lin more comfortable, about the South and RCPD. When they got back to Avatar's family home the heavy atmosphere that hung in the air before leaving was no longer present, everyone was sitting and talking quietly, and Lin didn't even feel bad for releasing a relieved sigh as she peeked through the crack in the door and notice that Toph was no longer present. Katara approached her as soon as she stepped next to Tenzin.

- I'm really sorry about the party, Aunt Katara.

- The party is fine, sweetheart. – Katara said tenderly, holding her hands – I'm worried about you. - She shook the metalbender’s hand

- I'm always fine. - Lin tried to joke, but her words came out with a heavier weight than planned. Lin reached for Tenzin's hand and intertwined their fingers –Tenzin and I have news. - Katara frowned at them and Tenzin gently squeezed her hand to reassure her - We’re going to have a baby.

Aang's face could barely hold his smile. Katara looked like she was about to pass out out of happiness. Bumi laughed and greeted Tenzin with an almost aggressive slap on the back and enveloped Lin in a bear hug that took longer than necessary in Lin's opinion and Kya screamed and walked past her mother almost knocking her over and nearly crushed Lin in a hug.

- Slow down, Kya! – in a censure from almost everyone, but Lin didn't bother

- A Baby Linny! – she said excited when she walked away

Mai and Zuko congratulated them with hugs.

- I'm so happy for you, dear. – Mai congratulated in her full voice after her husband placed a kiss on Lin's black hair.

When Katara was back at her senses she enveloped Lin and Tenzin in a single hug.

- I love you both. I could not be happier.

Aang then hugged Lin with the greatest gentleness in the world and whispered:

- Thank you.

Lin's stomach knotted at Aang's words. Thank you. Those two words brought her for the first time to the notion that everyone in that room expected nothing less than a little airbender from her. During Aang's embrace she caught sight of Izumi sitting on the couch. Ursa slept in her arms while Iroh played with the little metal soldiers Lin had carved and given him as a gift for his eleventh birthday. She seemed to be studying Lin with her eyes and the metalbender momentarily hated her for she could read her so well, just like Kya.

Lin started to feel dizzy when the Avatar released her. It had become too much for her. All that contact, all that attention and especially all the expectations that were now on her. She took Tenzin's hand with both hands and he looked at her worriedly.

- I need some air. – She muttered to him, who nodded and Lin's cold, callused hands slipped through his as she walked away

The breeze that passed through the island was cooler now and ruffled the black strands of Lin's hair as it hit her face. She was sitting cross-legged and eyes closed on the deck. The metalbender felt Izumi's purposeful steps approaching, but she didn't move.

- You don't meditate. - she said

- I'm not meditating. I'm just with my eyes closed. - She replied, still without leaving her position

- Are you okay?

- Excellent. – Lin snorted sarcastically and felt Izumi's eyes scolding her – That was a little too much. I needed some air.

- You know I'm not talking about that.

Lin's shoulders tensed even more and she finally opened her eyes as Izumi sat down beside her. The two of them watched the city lit up for the night and Lin let out a sigh she didn't know she was holding.

- When I got pregnant with Iroh I was 20. I didn't know if I wanted to be a mother, especially at 20 and with that man. But at the end of the day my kids are the best things in my life and the only good things Izao gave me. I suffered a lot of criticism, first for getting pregnant without being married and then for divorcing Izao and raising my children alone. What I mean is you are not alone. It might take a little longer, but I'm sure you'll be Chief. You are the most prepared and capable person in RCPD for the position.

Lin turned to Izumi with sad eyes.

-I… - she was trying to organize everything she was feeling into words – Tenzin is so happy.

- We're talking about you.

- No. Let me finish. – Lin asked, raising her hand to the princess and closed her eyes – He's so happy, Izumi. I have never seen him so happy. It's not that I don't want to be a mother, but and I'm so scared. She covered her face with her hands and took a shaky breath, unable to fight back the tears any longer. - I'm afraid I'm going to be like Toph. – she slid her hands down her face and let out an ironic laugh – I can't even call her mom!

Izumi moved closer to Lin and put her arm around her shoulder as the earthbender hugged her knees.

- It's exactly because of this fear that I know you won't be like Toph. You were on the other side of this story. You can be both, a badass oficer from Republic City and a mother. You are Lin Beifong, you can do whatever you want! - Izumi paused - And you have a family that will help and support you at all times. And this baby is going to have two drooling aunts who are going to spoil him. - Lin let out a heartfelt laugh and sobbed once more. Izumi enveloped her in a comfortable hug, leaving space for Lin to pull away if she wanted to, but she didn't, she was crying openly now.

- Thank you, Zumi.

#tenzin #beifong #TLOK #the legend of korra #atla #ursa loves lin #izumi gives good advice #pregnancy #lin beifong #heartbeat

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ffangirlingsince2001 · 4 years

Text

Silence

theichabbieclub asked:

Geralt x Reader. Reader is hyper and talkative. One day Geralt has a bad day and takes it out on reader. He tells them that he wish they would be silent. They listen to him and stop talking n become shy. They don't say when they're hurt (emotional/physical). Reader ends up having a major anxiety attack. Geralt feels really guity. He tries to calm them down. They end up passing out in his arms. Their pulse is fast and their skin is clammy. He makes sure they don't fall and puts them to bed. Thx❤️

A/N Thank you for this request it was fun to write, though if I got anything medically wrong please let me know

Geralt x Reader

Warnings: violence, language, self-hatred, panic attack, angst

“Geralt look, wildflowers,” you gasped leaping off your horse and running towards the field. You couldn’t believe it was finally spring, after months of cold rides and attempting to pull your cloak around you a little tighter. The day had gotten off to a rough start, you and Geralt had been thrown out of your inn after someone reported feeling uncomfortable with a Witcher hanging around. Geralt had been a silent rage all morning, but you were just glad the world was warming up.

While you picked flowers, you missed the dark look and thinly veiled curses he was sending your way. You wrapped daisies around your wrists and wove lavender in your braids, reveling in the sun painting freckles on your skin once more. You flopped back, arms spread out wide and considered flattening angels in the grass but settled for sighing with delight. You would have laid there forever had Geralt not been waiting for you.

“Isn’t it gorgeous,” you sighed. “I mean springtime, and flowers, and sunshine. I was so sick of the cold but now I could just stay outside forever. I mean do we really need an inn, who cares what they think, right? I mean I don’t even like inns that much, I think we should stay out more often. Don’t you? Oh god, speaking of that-,”

“Do you ever shut up Y/N?” Geralt snarled. You closed your mouth slowly and stared at him. He had already turned away, Roach kicking up dust as he went. You could feel tears welling up in your eyes and the flowers you had picked wilting against your skin. Slowly you dropped them to the dirt rode and climbed onto your horse, sniffing softly.

The road was quiet after that, though there was so much you wanted to talk about. It had been years since anyone had asked you that question, you thought he didn’t mind. You knew he was quiet, but did he really hate it? A tear slipped from your eye when the prospect crossed your mind. He hated you. How long? How long had he wanted to get rid of you? How long had you annoyed him? You’d been hunting together for five years? How much of that had been thinly veiled attempts to get rid of you?

The thought of leaving crossed your mind, but you couldn’t bare it. You knew he hated you now, but you didn’t hate him, far from it. You had been dreaming about him for half of those years, dreaming of him staring at you fondly and kissing you softly. You couldn’t leave, no matter how much he wanted you gone. So, change was in order. Silent change.

You could do it, you could do anything if it made him happy.

So, you did.

Geralt didn’t notice at first. He knew he had hurt your feelings but you were never one to stay quiet for long, it’s why he kept you around. He loved the way your eyes widened at the sight of anything that you thought was remotely pretty, from wildflowers to the way ale glittered beneath rays of sun. And the way you described it so he couldn’t help but love it too. Yet, he had told you to shut up when you were doing just that, and now he couldn’t get you to talk.

“Did you notice the… pastries?” he attempted awkwardly, and you glanced at him over your roll before taking a silent bite. “They smelled good.” You hummed nonchalantly, cursing yourself as you did so. He was trying to cover up his dislike by mocking you, not exactly the most subtle way to tell you to go away, but you understood.

“I’m going to bed,” you declared as you stood, leaving a large portion of your dinner behind. You didn’t turn to witness the frown that had etched itself across his face, worried you would find a silent chant of victory instead.

The stairs were a heavy climb, his hatred weighing on your shoulders. Tears were harder to keep in these days, so as you wiped the heavy stream of saltwater you didn’t notice the three men who had gathered outside your door.

“You’re his whore, right?” one of them called, pulling your attention to the knives sheathed in their belt and the stench of liquor that hung in the air. You shook your head, trying to push past them but he grabbed your wrist and pulled you away from the safety of your room. “You travel with him, what else are you good for?” You silently shrugged and reached for your blade, panic bubbling inside of you when you realized you had left it at the table. A solid fist connected with your side and you gasped in pain. It didn’t take long before you were on the ground, hands over your face as you struggled to avoid their drunken kicks. Your body ached and you longed to call out, but fear kept you silent. He would think you were weak, and then he was sure to leave you behind. A Witcher had no use for a weak, annoying girl. So, you endured their abuse until they got bored and wandered away. You could only thank the gods that they had not chosen to take other liberties. Whispering “whore” was different than treating you like one, although you weren’t entirely sure you didn’t deserve it.

Your muscles screamed as you dragged yourself to your room and fumbled with the doorknob before falling in. You considered staying there to bleed out, or at least pass out from exhaustion, but Geralt didn’t deserve to have to clean up your mess.

You made it to the bathroom and surveyed the damage. Not too much to your face which was good, but your stomach was a different story. At least on rib had suffered breakage and the normally pale skin was black and blue. One had taken a knife to your thigh, it was lucky they had only gotten one good hit in before the leader had chastised him. It was nothing a few stitches couldn’t solve, and the rest could be hidden by clothing. All except the busted lip you were currently trying to make up a story for, maybe falling into the bedpost? The real trick would be moving without a limp, but you could manage, you had managed a lot worse.

By the time the stitches were sewn, and you had wiped off the blood, covering everything else with a long sleeve you reserved for winter, the sun had long since set. Geralt was laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling. When you stepped out he glanced at you, and then he was out of the bed storming towards you. You backed away terrified. Had you missed something? Did the men brag to the bar about the little girl they had taught a lesson? But instead of yelling his hands caught your face and examined your lip with a rough thumb.

“What happened?”

“I tripped,” you muttered.

“Fuck you did.”

“Would you just trust me?” you snapped, ducking beneath his arm and climbing into bed, waiting with bated breath to see if he noticed the slight stiffness to your walk. He hadn’t, and only stared at you, confusion written all over his face.

It was hard to fall asleep that night your whole body was throbbing and the soft snores that you normally fell asleep to never came. You could feel his golden eyes trained on your, waiting for you to admit you weren’t sleeping and tell him what was going on.

“Y/N,” he whispered but you didn’t move. You couldn’t let him know you were weak, and anyway once you started you wouldn’t be able to stop. The weeks of silence would finally boil over and he’d be annoyed all over again. It was best to just remain silent.

And that’s how it went, a sleepless night for the both of you, and by god were you exhausted. Between the mental beating of staying silent and the physical one that had happened the night previous it was a wonder you were able to eat your breakfast and climb onto your horse. He had offered you stay the dead and relax, but that wasn’t him. You knew he was just doing it for you, and so you insisted that you didn’t have time for such frivolities. His worry was engulfing now, wrapping around you, thick and suffocating.

He was going to find out, he probably already had.

Oh god he knew.

That’s why he suggested staying in town. You would take a nap and then he would slip out, abandoning you in this little town.

You had failed.

You hadn’t done anything but make it worse.

“Y/N,” he shouted, interrupting your thoughts and suddenly you couldn’t breathe. Your breaths were short and quick as you gasped for air, clawing at your chest and then you were tumbling off your horse. “What’s wrong? Y/N what’s happening?”

He was pleading now, but you couldn’t bare to tell him, though you weren’t even sure you could. Your hands were trembling as you scrambled away from a very worried Geralt. In your fall you had snapped your stitches and blood was coating the leg of your pants, and his hand was pressing against the wound.

A shrill sound echoed in your ears and struggled to block it out with shaking hands, but it was all in your head. It kept getting louder and you felt tighter, like your lungs were expanding, threatening to break your ribcage if you didn’t exhale, but you couldn’t. You no longer knew how.

Someone was holding you, they were whispering into your ear but you could only feel their breath. You hadn’t realized you were moving until the smell of lavender and daises clogged your senses.

“Take a deep breath.” It was an order but you had no idea how you could hear it, they were miles away, yet you thought you could feel their arms wrapped around you. You did your best to listen, the inhale the wildflowers that had caused this whole mess, but it caught in your throat. “Breathe in and out. C’mon Y/N like this.” They were holding your shaking hands to their chest and you could feel the deep rise and fall of their chest, like waves enveloping the beach and then surging away. “There you go, nice and easy,” they coaxed and you nodded. Your face was wet with tears, but so was theirs. “Look, there’s some lavender, you were right it’s gorgeous, but you’ve got to open your eyes to see it. There you go,” he was whispering now, but everything was going fuzzy again. Golden eyes and purple flowers were the last thing you saw before the blood loss pulled you to sleep.

When you woke again you were in the same bed you had pretended to sleep in the night before. Geralt’s head was laying on the thick comforter, the snores you had so desperately craved filling your senses. You tried to sit up but your head spun and you crashed back down to the pillow.

“Y/N,” he whispered and you glanced him, mouth opening to thank him, to apologize, to say anything after the weeks you had spent silent, but his hatred forced them closed again. “No, don’t do that. Fuck.”

“I’m sorry,” you whispered and he grabbed your hand tightly pulling it against his lips.

“You have nothing to be sorry about. I shouldn’t have told you to shut up, I never want you to shut up again.” He had tears in your eyes that you didn’t hesitate to wipe away.

“It’s not your fault.”

“Fuck, yes it is. You should never feel like that. God, someone beat you up and you didn’t feel like you could tell me about it. That’s worse, everything is worse when you’re not there smiling and telling me how wonderful it is. You have to promise you won’t ever listen to me again, I might die.” You smiled and pulled him in for a hug.

“I promise,” you whispered, finally letting the tears that you had been holding in fall. With tender fingers he wiped them away and you giggled softly. You pulled him into bed with you and as you fell back asleep you decided this was a silence you could get used to.

#geralt of rivia x reader #geralt x reader #geralt of rivia #geralt of rivia fluff #geralt of rivia angst #the witcher #the witcher x reader #the witcher angst #the witcher fluff #the witcher smut #geralt of rivia smut

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a-simple-imagine · 4 years

Text

A Little Bit Of Love... Potion?

Prompt: "I promise I won't let him draw on your face with permanent marker." "Hmmm... So can I draw on his face with washable markers?" "No!"

Pairing: Hermione Granger x fem!reader, lots of Ron Weasley x fem!reader

Words: 4.6k

A/N - This was written for @firewhisky-kisses writing challenge. This is my second Harry Potter themed story ever since I only joined the fandom like two weeks ago (very much feeling like an outsider atm) so please don’t judge too harshly. I am still getting used to these characters and the wizarding world itself. I decided to write something a little lighthearted.

Warnings - Playful threats of violence

"I'm gonna kill him," You growl loudly as you storm into the common room in search of Hermione Granger. She was one of three people at Hogwarts you would consider your best friend. The others were Harry Potter; and the other you were about to murder for catching you off guard. You held a towel around the top of your head to conceal your worst nightmare. Stray Gryffindors were settled around the room doing one thing or another as the day was drawing to a close. Hermione was resting on an armchair by the fire utterly engrossed by the massive book in her hands.

"Who?" She doesn't even bother to look up as you approach.

"Ron obviously," You groan, grip tightening on the towel to stop it from slipping. "who else would go out of their way to annoy me."

An unamused sigh falls past her lips as she finally lowers her book. "Show me,"

"No, it's embarrassing." You protest. Looking around the room; you didn't speak to anyone else in here too often so what did it even matter what they thought.

"Well then I can't help you,"

You shift your weight uncomfortably before pulling the towel off in a dramatic reveal of your beautiful head. Hermione's eyes drift over you; struggling to hold back her amusement as she finally sees what happened. "It's... not so bad," She replies quietly, a melodic chuckle drifting into the air. "Bright."

"I look like a walking highlighter." You whine, taking a seat on the arm of her chair. "Fix it,"

Hermione whips out her wand and with a flick of her wrist you assume your hair has gone back to normal. She was too good of a witch for it to not have. Reaching for her book, you inspect the cover as you slide into her lap. Absentmindedly flipping through the pages with complete disregard for where she was up to. "Ronald Weasley is gonna regret ever messing with me,"

"It is not that bad," Hermione plucks the book from your grasp. "You did slip him Puking Pastilles the other day."

"That was funny though" A smile spreads over your lips at the memory of Ron throwing up in the great hall before charging out. “This isn’t”

"He threw up all over my shoes,"

"Gross," you laugh a little. "If it had been my shoes, it'd be a different story. What should I do to get back at him?"

"Leave him alone? Show you're the mature one and move on?"

"Don't be silly Hermione," Your head falls back against the plush fabric of the chair. "Why should I stop and not him? Maybe he should be the mature one."

"He won't stop unless you stop,"

"I could hex his broom at quidditch practice," You think out loud; chewing on the inside of your cheek. "Watch him fall on his face."

"Absolutely not. You're not putting him in the hospital wing over some silly prank war."

You gently roll your eyes. "We could-"

"There's no we," Hermione interrupts. "Please do not include me in your nonsense. I'm not helping you. Can you get off me?"

Sliding off her lap and onto the floor, you rest your head against her knee. "I'll think of something- don't you worry. He won't be getting away with this."

"At least do it quietly,"

You're quiet for the moment; going over different options while staring at a tower of books on the coffee table. Next to them say some parchment and a quill. "Are those yours? Can I borrow your quill?"

"Knock yourself out,"

You grab the feather and a piece of parchment paper and get to work laying out all your options to get back at Ron. Hermione would probably kill you if you hurt him so that rules out a fair few things. You could buy something at Zonko's but at this point he'd probably see those coming; you can only slip him sweets that make him sick so many times. Then again maybe it was just simple enough to work. You scribble it down on the parchment paper anyway. Next you add the nose biting teacup but that was rather impractical considering he hardly ever drank tea. Acid lollipops were an option, they would just burn a hole in his tongue but that could count as hurting him even if it was an easy fix.

"What are you writing?" Hermione wonders, you glance up to her and smile a little. "I assume you’re not studying all of a sudden."

"Nope," You hold up the paper for her. "I'm listing ways to get back at Ron."

"Of course you are," She takes your list. "Why don't you just buy a joke wand?"

"Boring," Jumping to your feet, you snatch the paper back. "I need to do something out of the box."

"Don't come to me when things go wrong," She insists softly, returning her attention to her book.

"Things won't go wrong," You declare proudly. You'd been doing this since your second year so you kind of have a knack for pulling pranks at this point. "Have a little faith in me."

It takes a day or two but thanks to Harry dragging you along to advanced potions class at the start of the year you decide the perfect way to get back at Ron is to make him fall in love with you. Well, a weird embarrassing obsession kind of love. Commence operation; practice your potion making by creating a love potion and tricking Ron into consuming it. Not only do you get to embarrass him but it can count as studying which will keep Hermione at bay. Not that you're going to tell her because Love potions of any kind are banned at Hogwarts and she'll just insist it's a bad idea. Now all you had to do was figure out how to actually make a love potion. Professor Slughorn has made one at the beginning of the year but you weren't actually taught how to make one nor do you actually remember much about class that day. Once you figured out how you could collect the ingredients and then trick Ron into drinking it. It shouldn't be too complicated.

Every free period following is spent huddled in the back of the library, searching through what felt like a mountains of books on potions. A good portion of what you read is just the history behind the potion itself and the dangers. It wasn't a potion that would cause him any harm so there was no need to worry. Eventually, you manage to create a checklist of ingredients that consisted of;

Ashwinder eggs

Rose thorns

Peppermint

Powdered Moonstone

Pearl Dust

Rose Petals

This joke was beginning to feel like more effort than it was worth but you were determined to see this through. Ron would never see this coming. After returning all your books to the shelves, you figure getting some help from Harry is the next step. The only place to get all the ingredients was from the potions classroom or the supply room. You couldn't just walk in and take stuff without seeming a little suspicious; you also weren't exactly Slughorn's favourite student. Everyone knew it was Harry. So your final option was to sneak around.

"Harry- wait up," You run up beside him as g walks through the courtyard. Rather surprised to find him alone considering your next class was with him and Ron.

"Hey,"

"Can I ask you for a favor?"

"Depends," He shrugs. You offer him a very gentle smile, fluttering your eyelashes a little. He wasn't exactly the type to say no to you but better safe than sorry.

"Can I borrow your invisibility cloak? I promise I'll return it tomorrow."

"What for?" Your stomach sinks a little at his question. You can't risk telling him in case he tells Ron which will ruin the surprise.

"I need some ingredients for a potion and I don't really feel like asking for permission," Telling half a truth is much easier than coming up with an entirely new lie. "Please? How many times have I broken the rules for you now and I would do it again."

"Professor Slughorn probably wouldn't mind if you just asked. What are you making anyway?"

"I just wanna do some late-night practice. I'm more of a do what I want then ask for forgiveness later kinda person so can I? Please?" Emphasis on the 'please' in hopes that it will somehow help your case.

"Sure,"

"Thank you," Looping your arm with his, you begin to practically drag the poor boy through the courtyard. You couldn't be late for class again. Snape would take any excuse to punish you. "let's get to class before we both end up in detention."

Thanks to Harry's cloak, you manage to collect every ingredient needed for your forbidden love potion and get to work. You wouldn't say potion making was your worst subject but it's definitely not your best either and it was showing. After a few attempts by candlelight in the early hours of the morning, you finally manage to create a love potion. Normally you'd test a potion before recklessly using it on unsuspecting friends but there was no time or way to do that without them catching on. The last step was simple, deliver all kinds of spiked candy to Ron Weasley and pretend like everything was normal.

Sitting in the great hall, you slowly lift spoonfuls of cereal into your mouth as you listen to Neville drone on about his dream; at least that's what you hope he's talking about. Last night had wiped you out; your body was exhausted. You could just about keep your eyes open and all you wanted to do was go back to bed. Hermione was sat directly across from you, very delicately buttering a piece of wholemeal toast.

"I don't think it means anything, you're just thinking too much into," Hermione explains to Neville. You just shrug your shoulders; you hadn't really been paying attention anyway but you manage to perk up a little as Harry plops down beside you.

"What time do you call this Potter?" You scold, bumping your shoulder playfully against his.

"And where's Ron?" Hermione continues.

"He should be here soon enough. He's just taking extra care getting ready."

"Why?"

"He's trying to impress someone," Harry reaches for a bowl of fresh fruit.

"Oh do tell," An aura of giddiness envelops your words as if you don't expect the answer to be yourself. There was a chance he hasn't taken the bait yet and he just genuinely had a crush.

"I promised I wouldn't,"

"Come on, Harry. We won't tell."

"He's never mentioned liking anyone before," Hermione adds to the conversation, biting into her toast with a crunch.

"I don't know- ask him." As if summoned on cue, The redhead appears beside Hermione. He doesn't seem any different other than the smile and distant look in his eyes. Not to mention, he may have combed his hair? You couldn't be sure though.

"Did you sleep in again," She pauses for a second, her brows knitting together in a frown. "And is that... cologne I smell?"

Ron doesn't answer, he just looks at you with the expression of someone hopelessly entranced. It's a little weird but you take it as a compliment on your potion-making skills. "You alright there Ron?"

"Perfectly fine," He nods.

"Are you gonna eat something? We have class soon?"

"I'm not hungry,"

"Not hungry?" The volume of Hermione's voice catches you off guard. "When have you ever not been hungry, Ronald?"

"First time for everything Hermione," You take a sip of your water. All eyes were on Ron but he couldn't tear his away from you; that dopey grin never quite fading away. Was this how it was supposed to work? You had never seen it in action before. "I'll see you all at lunch " You announce, rising from the table. "I forgot my quill again this morning and I can't keep pretending I remember the stuff I'm being taught."

"How many classes do you have today?" Harry calls out before you can leave. You'd think he'd know your schedule by now. "I was thinking we could practice some potions later?"

"She has two," Hermione answers for you.

"Today pretty quiet for me usually but I have a study session later with Luna. She's helping me in care of magical creatures sorry," You flash a tight smile. "Maybe next time."

You had one class this morning and then one straight after lunch. Your free periods were supposed to be spent studying considering you were taking five N.E.W.T classes but you've never been one to study when you don't have to. Thinking on it, you probably could have studied with Harry in your free period before lunch but you think he has class then. The morning class is over before you know it and you're heading back to your dorm for a well-deserved nap when you practically crash into a none other than a Weasley.

"Watch where you're going, Ron."

His expression immediately brightens and he stands a little taller. "Oh, it's you, hey."

"Hello," Ron was a pretty awkward guy on the best of days but this felt weirder. A small, awkward smile settles on your lips. "Don't you have a class right now?"

"Mhmm," He nods but doesn't move nor continue talking.

"Ooookay then, well... I'm gonna go." You slide by him and scamper away. "I'll see you in a little bit."

When you imagined him under the influence of a love potion you expected less creepy staring but maybe he was just working his way up to it.

After a very short nap, that kept getting interrupted you're sat in the great hall waiting for classes to end and lunch to officially begin. There were a decent amount of students, all doing their own thing. Meanwhile the Gryffindor table was practically empty other than Dean, who was sat at an angle on the other side of the table and a couple of seventh years. You'd gotten so bored while pretending to study that Dean had suggested playing a game; this is the third match to decide who comes out on top as the Hangman champion of this free period. Three letters in and none of them had been right. The wooden frame was already drawn and waiting for the stickman to be hung

"S?" You guess.

His head shakes as he draws a wonky circle to start the stickman's fate. "Sorry."

"... I maybe?"

"Finally you got one.," it was a ten letter word and he filled in the second and eighth letters With I's.

"Can you give me like a hint?"

"I'm not gonna help you beat me," Dean replies. "Hey, Harry,"

"Harry!" You greet brightly, turning to find him towering over you. "We're playing hangman, do you wanna join? I'm about to win."

"No, you're not-"

"Did you do something to Ron?" Harry cuts of Dean. You swallow hard. Busted... or maybe not. Your brow furrows as you focus on the curled edge of the parchment you had been playing on.

"What are you talking about? I haven't done anything, I've been with Dean for like the last hour."

"He just seems very interested in you all of a sudden. I thought it was a one-time thing this morning but I've had to suffer through two classes of him talking about how cute and dreamy you are."

"Ron has a crush on her?" Dean's tone was rather playful.

"Maybe he just realised how cool I am," Your shoulders rise in a little shrug. "H?"

"Where is Ron anyway?" Dean adds the letter H to the begging of the word. You still have no clue what the word is but thankfully your two other friends finally appear just in time to interrupt. You'd rather draw by forfeit then lose altogether. Ron nearly shoves Hermione out of the way just to sit down next to you.

"I missed you this morning,"

"Missed you too Ron," You pat him twice on the cheek.

"What did you do to him?" Hermione's eyes narrow in on you.

"Who?"

"Ron obviously," She huffs. "I bumped into in the hallway and he said he couldn't wait to see you."

"As his friend, I'm happy he's excited to see me," You counter, resting your head on his shoulder. "At least someone at this table appreciates how cool I am."

"You're awesome," Ron wraps his arms around you, pulling you into a tight side-hug "I think I may be in love,"

Dean giggles to himself but Hermione is anything but amused. "For goodness sake, you can't be serious?"

"I'm very serious," He fights back, sounding almost offended but such an accusation. "In fact," a wave of regret washes over you as Ron gets up and climbs onto the bench in front of the now rather busy great hall. "I'm in love with-" you sink down as he shouts your name for everyone to hear. Mean snickers and playful giggles follow. You reach for his hand, tugging on his arm gently as to not hurt him.

"Sit down," you spit through gritted teeth. Heat rushing to your cheeks as if him announcing his love to everyone wasn't embarrassing enough already

You try to enjoy lunch as much as possible with Ron attached to your side. Hermione was relatively quiet but her harsh glare was enough to put you off starting anything with her. And so you mostly spoke to Harry and finished your game with Dean. The word was Hippogriff which you managed to guess before the final leg finished off the stickman. Thankfully, your next class provided a nice escape from Ron. However it couldn't stop the sly comments in the hallways and mean laughter. This joke was very quickly becoming anything but funny.

This continued into the next day, you were regretting spiking so much candy. Not to mention Hermione hadn't spoken to you since lunch yesterday and you couldn't figure out why exactly. Normally she gets a little annoyed at your silly jokes with Ron but she seemed really mad at you. And considering you share a dorm room, things were feeling very tense, to say the least.

Managing to slip away from Ron long enough for a quick conversation, you find your fellow Gryffindor sat alone having an early breakfast. "I said I wouldn't help you,"

"Huh?" You hadn't even asked her anything yet or sat down for that matter but at least she's talking to you again.

"You want my help right?" She meets your gaze as you take a seat. "What did you do?"

"I actually wanted to know what was wrong?" Which was very much true. "You seemed... upset yesterday. I don't like it when you're mad at me."

"Judging by the way he was all over you yesterday my guess is It was a love potion correct?" you're impressed that she managed to guess and so quickly too. "A strong one at that. That is the only way to explain him suddenly being in love with you."

"I'm offended that you don't think Ron could like me that way," The words came a little more defensively than intended. "am I really that bad?"

Hermione's face morphs through a sea of emotions finally settling on looking a little disheartened. You wonder what's going on in her pretty little head. "It's not that I don't think he could like you that way- maybe he does and that would be fine. You're..." She seems hesitant to continue, her head falling. "amazing. Just that's not what this is."

"You're right," You confirm, pouring yourself a glass of orange juice. "Like always. I slipped him a love potion thinking it would be funny and now it's not."

"How can you be so reckless," Compared she seemed so delicate just moments ago, she quickly bounces back to scold you. "You know they're not allowed at school."

"Worth it," A small chuckle bubbles up from your throat. It had been a little funny and definitely embarrassing plus you got to test your skills so you weren't inherently regretting your decision. You just wish the effects would fade already. "I didn't learn the antidote and I'm not spending hours in the library again."

"It'll wear off soon enough, how much did you give him."

"I made like... a cauldron full but I don't know how much he consumed."

"So it's my understanding that you idiotically gave him a lot?"

Words mumbled by your juice, you nod to convey your answer.

"Then it'll take a while to wear off."

Ron slides up beside you, taking you by surprise. The juice comes back up in sputtering coughs. "Speak— of— the devil."

"Good morning my beautiful angel," Even you cringe at that one. Harry takes a seat on your left side. "Did you sleep well?"

"You should know, you were watching me this morning," Ron pulls you closer to him. When you awoke this morning, not only was Hermione already gone but it had been quite the surprise to find Ron had snook into the girl's dorms to be with you.

"You're so adorable when you're sleeping."

"If you'll excuse me, I can only handle so much nauseating sweetness," Hermione takes one sympathetic look at you and then scurries away like she can't handle being here any longer. Something was definitely off with her. Today was gonna be a long day...

How you longed for the weekend to come early as each class tortured you with new knowledge that had to be burnt into your brain. It didn't help that Ron was getting increasingly annoying; it was like he was incapable of being alone. After the school day finally ended, you retired to the common room; both the boys joined you. Harry was complaining about how much work he's been assigned from one class while Ron seemed happy to just be near you in any compacity. Which right now meant having his arm around you.

"Here," Hermione interrupts, dropping a plugged vial onto your lap.

"What is it?"

"An antidote." She was biting back an insult or an 'I told you so', you couldn't be sure but there was a hint of aggression behind her words.

"Drink this," Before you even have time to process, Harry is shoving the vial towards Ron.

"What is it?"

"I think you should try it," Ron doesn't even question the request when it comes from you. He takes the vial and downs it in one. An unsure look is shared between you and Hermione but sure enough, Ron's goofy grin begins to fade.

"What the bloody hell happened?"

"I slipped you a love potion and you became obsessed with me." You answer. "It was funny at first but then you announced you were In love with me to the whole school."

"You think a love potion is the same as a comb that changes your hair?" The boy sank into the seat cushion, finally removing his arm from around your shoulders. "I don’t feel so good."

"He needs something to perk him up," Hermione states. If she knew that, she should have come prepared.

"He has candy hidden in his draws"

"Yeah... it's probably best if he gets rid of all that," You admit, getting up. "Wait here,"

It was only fair you provided something so you grab the last chocolate bar you had from your dorm room. "You shouldn't have messed with my hair." You declare, handing over the chocolate with an almost sad smile.

"Now you two can hopefully put this silly war to bed."

"Not likely," Your voice syncs with Ron's, and with it comes a genuine smile. It was nice he was back to normal.

"I have to get back at her."

"And how will you do that Weasley?" You drop back down next to him.

"I think I'll go back to the good old fashioned permanent marker while you sleep."

"Why would you tell me in advance?"

"Because you don't know when I'm gonna do it." He declares with a mischievous glint in his eye. "So now you'll be on edge waiting for it to happen."

In this situation, the equivalent to snitching to a teacher to prevent something from happening was to tell the only one opposed to this whole situation entirely. "Hermione tell him. You had no problem insisting I be the bigger person."

She simply rolls her eyes before turning to Weasley. "Ronald, Consider not retaliating especially with a permanent marker before one of you," she glances towards you; rightful so. "Goes too far."

"she started it," He protests, "I didn't sip her a love potion."

"You better not come anywhere near me with marker pens."

"Sometimes I think I'm talking to myself." And with that, she wonders off

"I'm watching you, Weasley," Now, you were going to have to keep a very close eye on him to assure you didn't wake up with a fake mustache or something. Jumping up you chase after Hermione.

"Thanks for helping." You fall into step with her. "I'd be lost without you."

"I know,"

"Wow. Modest." You mumble sarcastically before falling silent; unsure of how to approach the next question. "Do you like Ron by any chance?"

"Excuse me?"

"Do you like Ron?" You repeat. It was the only explanation you could come up with over why she would be so angry the last couple of days. "You seemed really upset since he's been all over me so I thought maybe it was like jealousy or something."

"Don't be ridiculous," She fires back. "I don't like Ron."

"I never imagined you two together but I think you'd be sweet," You comment, intentionally trying to get a rise out of her. Hermione sighs loudly as she comes to a stop.

"Ron is one of my best friends but I don't like him in that way," From a few steps away, you turn back to her. She's clutching a few books tightly against her chest, refusing to look at you. "I swear that I don't."

"Then what?"

"I don't know," She shrugs pathetically. "I just saw him all over you and I didn't like it. You're never normally like that together and he kept pushing me aside to get to you."

"I'm not following," You're honestly more confused than before.

She approaches you slowly, still unable to meet your gaze but her lips very softly connect with your cheek. "I promise I won't let him draw on your face with permanent marker."

Her words spark a lightbulb. You've never done a double prank but perhaps now would be a good chance. You could do it to him before he gets the chance to do it to you.

"Hmmm... So can I draw on his face with washable markers?"

With a heavy sigh, she simply states her favourite word "No!"

"But-"

"No." Hermione continues walking and you're left watching her.

"Hey," You call out. "Do you wanna head down to Hogsmeade tomorrow? I'll buy you a butterbeer to say thank you."

"You just want to visit the joke shop, don't you?"

"Desperately," She always could see right through you. "But still. I want to go- just you and me."

"I would like that," She finally meets your gaze and she looks happier now. The almost set sun, casting her in such a warm, welcoming glow. Hermione was a hard girl to figure out but that's what made her so interesting. "I was hoping to get a new quill anyway."

#Hermione Granger x reader #ron weasley x reader #harry potter #Hermione x reader #hermione granger #ron weasley #harry potter fanfiction #stephs200challenge

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