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msmarvelouswinchester · 3 years

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Lost Years

Summary - After spending five years in LA, Dean comes back to Lawrence and meets up with his bestfriend or rather his then bestfriend. Y/N isn't exactly happy on seeing Dean either. Will he be able to fix his strained relationship with her?

Pairing - Rockstar!Dean Winchester x Y/N

Warning - Cheesy fluff, angst, mentions of unrequited love, mentions of divorce, parents separation, drinking, bad dates, kissing, unprotected sex 18+ (wrap it before you tap it), p in v smut, oral sex (fem receiving), sex in the Impala.

WC - 5.3k+ (....oops)

Square filled - Angst ( @girl-next-door-writes ) and “Why the fuck would you laugh at that?” ( @anyfandomgoesbingo )

A/N - This is my submission to @downanddirtydean's 500 followers writing challenge (Congratulations again, Lyd). Prompt is in bold.

This is an AU. Flashbacks are in Italics.

Beta'd by @miss-nerd95 (Thank you so much, hon) and thank you to @whatareyousearchingfordean for giving this a read and leaving some valuable comments❤️

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

“Fuckin’ brilliant!” A weary exclamation left the woman's mouth as she read the text displayed on the device's screen in her hand.

There was a very significant reason why she didn't believe in blind dates, but Jo had been stubborn and insistent. And with Valentine's Day approaching, Y/N didn't want to spend the day in her pjs, crying over The Notebook again. So she had agreed to give a chance to Jo’s friend, or to be more precise, her friend's cousin. His name was Gabriel, and from what she had heard from her mutual friend circle, he seemed to be a decent guy.

But now all she wanted was to go back in time and change her decision to give into Jo’s request, because looking at the empty chair in front of her, she regretted allowing her friend to even try to interfere in her love life.

She signaled the waiter to bring over her check after downing the entire glass of wine. The restaurant was quite busy tonight. It was packed with people on this fine Saturday evening - from lovestruck couples to families with crying kids, Y/N found herself feeling quite lonely as she had stupidly waited on her date to show up for such a long time. Heat crept up her neck in embarrassment when the waiter showed up, the latter’s eyes filled with sympathy as Y/N paid the price of her drink.

Within no time, she was out of the restaurant.

Glancing down at her green dress, she swore under her breath. She tried to book a cab to return to the comfort of her home when her eyes caught the glowing signboard of The Roadhouse right around the corner of the street. The only thing she could think of was to get black-out drunk now. Y/N, still in her high heels, trudged down the path to Ellen’s bar.

Dressed up all for nothing. Rolling her eyes at herself, she went inside the establishment, heading straight towards the counter and taking a seat there. Like any other weekend nights, the place was stuffed. Y/N let her eyes trail over the many patrons of the dingy bar, landing finally on the middle-aged brunette who ran the place

“Ellen!” She called out to the woman.

“Hey, honey,” she approached Y/N, all the while glaring daggers at the drunk she had just previously been arguing with, “A bit overdressed for this place, don't ya think?”

“Your daughter is officially fired from matchmaking services,” Y/N sighed.

“Boy troubles, huh? What can I get ya, hon?” Sympathy was evident in Ellen’s eyes as she spoke. Y/N was as much of a daughter to her as Jo was. The girl had been through so much heartbreak, all Ellen wanted was to see a smile on her face.

“The usual,” Y/N gave a sad smile.

“Rough night indeed, huh?” She raised an eyebrow. The woman in question shrugged defeatedly. Ellen patted her arm in comfort before she left her to arrange for her drink, leaving Y/N to wallow in self-pity.

She thought back to when her life had taken such a traumatic turn. All her friends were either getting engaged, married, or popping out kids. But not Y/n... she was in her late twenties now, and she couldn't even find herself an eligible man.

Ellen pushed the glass towards her. Sighing, she picked it up as she admired the liquid in it. She drank slowly, every sip creating a burning sensation at the back of her throat. Fingers still wrapped around the glassware, she set it down, looking around the bar. The place was filled with mad chatters and howling laughs along with the music blasting from the stereo placed on the deck inside the room, a stark contrast to how lonely she felt. She signaled Ellen for another round, who nodded before giving her that sad understanding smile Y/N was now starting to hate. Frowning, she dropped her head and exhaled.

“Sweetheart, where did that pretty smile for yours go?” Y/N was quickly pulled out from her daze by a very familiar voice; a voice she hadn't heard in a few years. It couldn't be him, he was supposed to be in LA!

“Ella?” The term of endearment brought back dozens of memories, some good and some bad, but all were about him - the freckled face teenage boy with dirty blonde hair and eyes as green as the forest in the summertime she had once fallen for. It brought up the painful memory of their first meet which she had tried to forget so hard.

She remembered the day of their first drama practice when Dean had grudgingly walked into the room. He had reluctantly agreed to play the Prince in the Cinderella act after Cas who was supposed to be the Prince had accidentally ended up with a broken leg. He didn’t know her name, so he had called her ‘Ella’ to get her attention which was the start of their epic friendship.

Y/N didn't dare to turn around to look at him, after all, he wasn't the scrawny teenager from Lawrence anymore. He was now the lead singer and guitarist of a popular rock band with a fancy name and songs that were in the top ten of Billboard music charts. Yes, she did keep up with his rising fame, sometimes even listening to one of his songs before she was once again reminded of the heartbreak he had caused.

“You can't even look at me.” His voice was barely a whisper but loud enough for her to hear as he slid into the stool beside her.

Gathering enough courage, she raised her head. “Dean.” His name rolled off her tongue so easily, but her heart ached for the past. Dean cracked a smile at her as his emerald eyes did not leave hers once. It was as if he was memorizing every tiny detail of her face and if anyone would've asked him, he would've replied that he was.

Y/N hadn't changed much over the years he had spent in LA. She was still the same girl he had first met in school and the last time he had seen her at their graduation. She was a shy girl but they had clicked instantly. Growing up, she was his best friend, his person, his escape.

“Dean Winchester has walked into my bar. Must be my lucky day!” Ellen’s voice thundered across the room, grabbing the attention of a few intoxicated people. “How's LA treating you, boy?”

“Ellen! It's awesome to see you again.” A grin broke out on Dean's face as he jumped out of his seat and pulled the lady into a bear hug. “LA’s pretty okay. It is as good as the industry can be.”

“Heard some of your songs, I knew you had the talent,” Ellen said, jabbing her finger into his chest to prove her point. “Now what can I get ya? On the house.”

“A beer will be just fine. Don't want to show up to the Winchester house drunk!” He chuckled.

“Alright, coming right up. Y/N, honey, you want another round or a glass of water?” The lady asked.

“I'll be leaving in a few. Glass of water it is, El.” She replied but was then interrupted by Dean.

“One drink, with me. It's on me, Ella.” There it was again, that fucking name. A few years ago, that name would have made her cheeks heat up but now, it just made her blood boil. She clenched her hand into fists, tears pricking at her eyes as she swallowed the lump in her throat.

“Do not call me that.” She hissed, surprising Dean. Y/N turned towards the man, finally taking a good look at him. He had changed a lot, had become more handsome but LA had not modified his clothing style because he was still wearing his signature flannel and jeans accompanied by a jacket. She wondered how many girls had stopped him for a picture or an autograph on his way back to Lawrence, jealousy seeping into her. She hated the way he still had that effect on her.

“Y/N-” She knew what he was going to say. ‘I am sorry’, but she wasn't ready to forgive him now, if ever.

“No. Don't.” She stopped him mid-sentence, hands digging into her purse as she pulled out the money for her drinks, dropping them on the counter.

“El, I am going home.” Ellen, who was silently watching their whole exchange, nodded her head before asking, “Want me to call a cab for you?”

“No. I'm going to crash at your place. I need to have a word with Jo.” Y/N said since it was near impossible for her to walk back to her house, considering she was quite tipsy and still in heels, but she also didn't want to wait until the woman called a cab with Dean Winchester anywhere nearby. After getting her belongings, she got out of the barstool and left the place on wobbly legs. Her feet would no doubt be screaming in pain the next day.

Stepping out, she inhaled deeply, letting a few tears fall as the cool air hit her face. After their graduation, Y/N had sworn she would try her best to forget the older Winchester. She wasn't quite successful in her aim, because many times she would come across his gorgeous face on the cover of a magazine or his song would be playing on the radio, striking up old memories of their time spent together in high school.

Still lost in her thoughts, she took a step forward, only to misjudge the cobblestone path and end up losing her balance. She braced herself for the impending fall but was saved by a pair of strong hands wrapped around her waist.

“Watch your step, sweetheart,” Dean said, letting her down gently. “Lemme see, did you hurt your ankle?” He went down on his knees in front of her, pulling a low gasp out of her as he examined her feet.

“Were you following me?” Y/N gritted out those words.

“No.” He shook his head but she clearly saw through the lie.

“I’m fine. You can go now.” She said, her eyes looking everywhere but the man.

“Come on, don't be so stubborn. Get in the car, I'll drop you off at your house or Jo’s place if you want.” He said looking up, trying to catch her eyes but she was adamant about not giving him that satisfaction. Y/N squeezed her eyes shut, lips quivering before she answered.

“Leave me alone.” She muttered, a tear running down her cheek. All that preparation for not breaking down in front of Dean and her body still betrayed her. The man got up. Y/N noticed that he was now wearing a cap, probably to hide from any bystander who might recognize him.

“Y/N/N, I-” Dean was at a loss of words. He hated seeing her so heartbroken and he loathed himself for being the cause of it. He tried to reach out and hold her hand but she recoiled back, making him wince. “Please, Ella.”

“Stop calling me that, Winchester. How many times do I have to repeat that?” Her voice came out as a little whine, making Dean chuckle. He missed it - her tone, the timbre, the intensity in her pitch, and the words it said, which used to be his voice of reason; he missed his best friend. “Why the fuck would you laugh at that? I am not doing stand up comedy out here.” Y/N was still the strong-headed girl he adored.

“You'll probably hurt yourself if you walk in those heels again with how tipsy you are right now. Get in the car, I know you missed cruising around the town in Baby because she missed you for sure.” And that thankfully got the exact reaction out of her that he had anticipated. She finally looked right at him, her face lit up at the pretense of seeing the beloved black car again.

“I thought she was in LA with you.” Y/N said and then it dawned on her, “Did you drive across the States?”

“Damn right I did!” He beamed in reply like he had won a trophy, his heart swelling with happiness when he saw the smile forming on her face mixed with awe and surprise. He still had to go a long way to get her back, but he had to take baby steps. At least he managed to make her smile. “So? Want to go out, just like the old times?”

The smile instantly disappeared from Y/N’s lips and Dean knew he fucked up right then. Maybe he shouldn't have mentioned the good ol’ days. “Sweetheart, I'm sorry-”

“Just drop me off at Jo’s. That's it.” She said, lowering her gaze. He waved her over to the direction where his car was parked. Y/N started to walk along as Dean wordlessly followed her.

Y/N felt a wave of nausea hit her. She didn't do well in social gatherings and this was her graduation ceremony. One wrong step, one wrong word, or a wardrobe malfunction, and the day could turn into a disaster in an instant.

“Honey, you're gonna be excellent out there! We're all very proud of you.” Mary said while hugging Y/N tightly as they both waited on the former's older son to come downstairs who was running late, as usual. She had grown incredibly close to the Winchester family over the years. They were her rock, especially Dean who was there with her at every step as she went through the separation of her parents.

“Are you and John going to join my parents at the ceremony? Someone needs to stop them before they end up killing each other.” She grimaced.

“Isn't this going to be the first time they are together in one single room, since their….you know-” Sam asked as he came out of the kitchen, a green smoothie in his hands. Dean might have been her best friend, her confidante, but Sam was the little brother she never thought she needed.

“First get that green drink outta my sight, I already feel like I'm gonna throw up. Second, you can speak about the divorce. It's not taboo and it was a long time coming. Everyone knew that.” Y/N reluctantly said. The separation of her parents might have been foreseeable but, nevertheless, it still hurt her to see her parents walkout in two separate ways once the divorce was finalized. The house had become much quieter these days which she was thankful for but she also felt the evident absence of her father.

“Mom and Dad will definitely be there!” Dean announced loudly as he came down the stairs. “Come on let's go. Don't wanna be late for our own graduation ceremony!” She could always count on him to make her day better.

“I should have told you.”

“W-what?” Y/N asked dumbfoundedly as Dean’s gruff voice broke her out of the reverie and pulled her back to reality. A minute passed when she noticed even if his hands were on the steering, he wasn't driving anymore.

“This-” she looked out of the window, “this isn't Jo’s place.”

“No, this is our place,” Dean said.

“Dean.” This was the last place she wanted to be at, let alone be here with Dean. It had taken every ounce of her strength to not run back to this place over the past few years whenever she missed her best friend, only to realize that he had left her in the dust on his path to fame and didn't care about her as much as she used to think. Too many memories were attached to this particular place.

“I missed this, Y/N.” He said, killing the engine and slowly opening the door on his side. Y/N understood what he was trying to do and her mind screamed at her in protest to not follow him but her heart told her to follow the man it belonged to.

Dean finally stepped out of the car and walked over to the closed door on her side. She opened the door herself before he could and stepped out as well with a huff. The place was the same as it ever was. “I haven't been here since graduation.” She blurted out.

“I should have told you,” Dean said as they started to walk to their spot. Y/N chose to remain quiet. “Ella, please say somethin’.”

“I am not your Ella anymore, Dean. Stop calling me that.” She said but this time it wasn't a whine, instead, she yelled it out. She was sick and tired of yearning for the man who had broken her heart several years ago and now she was scared that he was gonna leave her once again.

“You'll always be my Ella.” He said.

“The Prince didn't lie to Cinderella and leave her behind but you- it hurts me to remember how close we were then. You left me without even a simple goodbye, so no, I am not your Ella anymore.” She flinched when he reached out for her.

He had stopped walking now and so had she. Dean moved closer to her before standing exactly in front of her. His hands lightly traced her jaw as she looked up at him. She looked just as enchanting under the moonlight as he remembered. He cupped her face in his hands, thumbs gently caressed her cheeks. She had given up fighting herself now, driven only by instinct. All the walls that she had put up came crumbling down with one touch of his.

“Why do you think I didn't say goodbye to you?” Dean whispered.

“Maybe all the years that we spent together meant nothing to you.” Her voice was like a melody to his ears but the words broke his heart even further.

“Because it was too damn hard. When RC Records called me up three days before graduation, you were the first person I wanted to tell, but I couldn't, ‘cause if I did, I wouldn't have made it to where I am right now.” He said, not a trace of mirth on his face.

“I wouldn't have held you back.” It was simple. Y/N always wanted to stay in Lawrence and look over her mother's bakery shop, and that's what she ended up doing. She now owned the shop and her business was thriving. Dean had wanted to become a singer ever since he was ten when he was forced to play the Prince, opposite to Y/N’s lead. He had found his passion and she had always encouraged it, even when John had strongly protested against him choosing music as his major. “You know I always supported you.”

“I know that, but thinking about not seeing you every day made me not want to go. I kept imagining you upset and that's why I didn't have it in me to tell you about my break.” He said. Y/N grabbed his hands pushing them away from her face.

“You ended up making me sad anyway. So why the fuck are you back?” She was enraged.

“Ella-” Dean tried to come closer but she stepped back, “I came to see my family.”

“Then why are you wasting your time here with me?”

“Because you're the most important person in my life and every day I spent away from you, you were the only person on my mind.” Dean smiled.

“What?”

“You were the first thought when I woke up and the last thought when I went to sleep.” He said and pulled her close when she finally stopped fighting. “I love you, Y/N Y/L/N. I know I am late and probably missed my chance, but five years in LA have taught me to take the risks. I love you, Ella.”

“I can't-” Dean’s smile felt but he quickly recovered.

“I-I understand.” He let out a dry chuckle, “You got a man back at home waiting for you. He sure is one lucky bastard.”

“No. You do not fucking understand! You are just so in your head, it's just-” She flailed her arms around in utter frustration. “Do you have any idea how long it took me to move on? I have been on so many dates but no man was ever enough for me, all because of your sorry ass! The Graduation Day - I knew you always thought of me as your best friend, so I had decided to ask you out myself,”

“Y/N-”

“No, let me finish. You have to fucking listen about how much pain you put me through these five years! The next day, I went to your house only to hear from your parents that you were on your way to LA. I fucking hate you!” Tears rolled down her cheeks. “I fucking hate how much I still love you, Dean!”

His eyes widened in surprise as he kept opening and closing his mouth like a damn fish. He was unable to form a coherent sentence and so he cupped Y/N’s cheeks in his big, warm hands once more, but now he dipped down, tilting his face and pulling her in for a kiss. His teeth grazed her bottom lips, making her moan into his mouth. She could feel the blood rush to her cheeks as she found herself completely enamored by him. Her hands snuck to the back of his neck as she steadied herself. Her knees buckled under his hypnotic touch as he slipped his tongue into her mouth, her whole body tingled and toes curled up as his tongue explored every inch of her mouth.

“De,” Y/N tried to catch her breath when Dean finally let go of her lips, already missing the feel of her on him.

His hands traveled down her body, making her gasp aloud at the feel. He lowered his mouth as he started to leave a trail of kisses along her jaw and down her neck. “Dean, please. Don't.” Her three short words made him stop.

“Alright.” He gulped.

“I don't want to get my heart broken again, Winchester, I don't think I can survive it again.” Y/N knew he would return to LA within a week, and so she didn't want to take this any further. “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me, right?”

“I won't. I am not going back.” Y/N looked at him, surprise evident in her eyes, “I don't care about my career anymore. Five years without you was like living in hell and my bandmates are probably so tired of hearing how much I missed you. I will write my songs from here in Lawrence if it means that I'll be closer to you.”

“You would do that for me?” She asked sincerely.

“I would. I was a stupid kid back then but now I have realized that nothing's more important to me than you. I don't want to lose my Ella ever again.” He said, “I'm sorry for taking so long to understand that. There is no way-” His words were cut off as Y/N captured his lips with her own. The sudden kiss caught him off guard but he quickly pulled himself together to kiss her back. “Shit, Y/N-” he gasped when he felt his dick twitch. He picked her up in quick motion and went towards the car. Y/N giggled when her back lightly collided with Baby’s door. Dean dropped his head, nipping at the pulse point on her neck.

“Dean-” She moaned, which was better than any music he had ever made as his hands slipped under her dress, his fingers hovering over her soaked panties. Her thighs clenched in anticipation.

“You have no idea how long I dreamt of having you. You're soaked, sweetheart. ” He huskily said, his fingers hooking on the waistband of her cotton panties. “Tell me to stop and I will, in a heartbeat. No questions.”

“N-no. Don't stop.” Y/N cooed. Dean dragged down her panties which pooled at her feet. He picked it up and stuffed it into his pocket. Thankfully, there was no one around but the thrill of being out in the open with Dean got her even more hot and bothered. Her hands grasped onto his biceps tightly so that she wouldn't topple over when Dean slipped a finger into her tight pussy. Her mouth fell open, her head dropping on his shoulder as he started pumping slowly, every drag of his finger pushing her closer to the edge.

Dean felt his pants tighten as he heard the sweet moan of his name leave her lips. Her raspy voice was one he could hear all day long, her heavy pants tickling his skin. With one hand he unbuckled his belt, trying to relieve himself a little, but when a cry of pleasure left her lips as he slipped in another finger, he hoped that he wouldn't cream his pants like a freaking teenage boy.

Y/N felt the coil in her stomach tighten as she inched towards her climax. Dean quickened his pace, curling his fingers inside her and brushing her g-spot, each time eliciting a low moan out of her. “Dean….” She couldn't form any coherent words other than chanting his name over and over again and a moment later, the coil snapped as she felt herself coming undone. He delicately pulled his fingers out of her, which were covered in her juice. Dean reached behind her, yanking the door open as he nudged her to go in. She readily obliged and slid into the seat with shaky legs. He climbed into the backseat after her, closing the door behind him.

Her dress had ridden up her thigh, exposing her glistening pussy. Dean’s eyes darkened at the sight before him as he swiftly pulled his shirt over his head, discarding it somewhere in the front. He pushed her dress further up. She raised her hands as he successfully got her out of the garment and unhooked her bra. Y/N moved further back into the seat, her back resting against the door on the other side as Dean started to leave kisses down her body.

“Have you ever thought about this? ‘Cause I did, every freaking day.” Dean asked, kissing the valley between her breasts, the rumble of his voice sending shivers down her spine.

“E-every time I touched myself, I thought of you.” She said, gasping out loud at every word when his mouth found her breasts and started to suck on the soft skin, flicking a nipple with his tongue and twirling the other within his fingers.

“Oh-” Dean raised his head to look at her before he moved south, “Did you think about me between your legs just like this-” He said as he left kisses along her thigh, his stubble creating soft burns on her skin in its wake that she would definitely remember. He finally stopped at her nether regions, his hot breath fanning against her throbbing pussy. “Did you think about me tasting you like this?”

Y/N threw her head back in pleasure when his mouth latched onto her sensitive bundle of nerves, his tongue flicking at her aching nub. Her hands traveled down to his head, her fingers getting tangled up in his soft hair and pulled at the strands, making him groan.

“Fuck-” She exclaimed as Dean hungrily devoured her, his tongue repeatedly assaulting her sensitive pussy, sucking needily on her bundle of nerves. Y/N threw her head back in pleasure as she felt the coil in your stomach tighten before a wave of pleasure washed over her. “Shit!” She gasped as Dean’s tongue lapped her juices hungrily.

“Fuck, sweetheart, you taste so good.” He panted before he unbuttoned his pants pushing them down along with his boxers, freeing his erection sprung from his confines. “Son of a bitch, I don’t have-” Y/N sensed his uneasiness.

“I’m on the pill.” She smirked as she stared at his toned body.

“Well, I’m clean.” She reached out to touch his stomach, hands then traveling down to his length. Dean dropped his head, biting down on his lips, “Y/N-” He pushed her hands away, smirking as he ran his hand along his hardened cock, giving it a few strokes, the tip beaded with precum. He looked at Y/N once and lined himself with her dripping entrance when she gave him a nod to go ahead.

His swollen tip teasingly nudged at her opening before he pushed himself into her.

“Shit Y/N-” Dean grunted, simultaneously as Y/N hissed out at the painful sensation at the beginning as he pushed himself into her, letting her adjust around his size before she told him to move. He circled his hips as he slowly pulled out, leaving only the tip of his engorged cock inside her, before pushing back in again, deeper than before.

“Holy fuck-” Y/N moaned out when he quickened his pace, hitting her g-spot repeatedly with every thrust as they both inched towards their release. Dean kissed her as he continued to thrust deep into her, their breathing growing erratic, the windows of the chevy fogged up and the car filled with their groans and moans as they both chased their release. She hooked her arms at the small of his back as he started to nibble at her sweet spot. His hand moved south, his thumb rubbing circles on her clit which further edged her.

“Shit De!” Y/N cried out loud as her walls fluttered around his pulsating length when she felt herself coming undone. Dean’s thrusts became sloppy as he grunted into the crook of her neck before he spilled into her with one cry of her name, painting her walls with his seed. He dropped his head, trying to catch his breath before he gently pulled out.

“Fuck sweetheart.” Dean panted, beads of sweat lining his forehead as they both laid in each other’s arms, basking in the post-coital bliss. “Was this better than your fantasies? ‘Cause, ‘twas surely better than mine.” Dean smirked, reaching out to grab a piece of cloth to clean themselves up. “We should have done this sooner.”

“If only you hadn't been such a coward.” Y/n teased with a giggle.

“Your dumbass could have called me up. I wasted five years being one, terrified to hear how much you hate me.” He grumbled, cleaning up the mess on the seat. Honestly, she could have but she didn't ‘cause she was scared to hear the truth as well; that Dean had truly left her.

“So, you’re sayin’ we’re both a couple of dumbasses.” Y/N chuckled, putting on her bra.

“Your words, not mine.” Dean gave her a sly smirk. “The Winchester household will be so delighted, once they know I finally got my head out of my ass and looked at the beautiful woman right in front of me.” He was right in every sense. The Winchesters, all of them had always believed that those two would end up together. Everyone saw how in love they were except Y/N and Dean.

“Isn't it too early for the introduce-the-girlfriend-to-the-family thing?” She asked which got an eye roll out of the man. “Panties?”

“I don't have them.” Dean sneakily raised his hands.

“I saw you stuff them into your pocket.” He grabbed her dress from the front seat, throwing it at her.

“Put this on, or preferably, just don't.” He gave her a boyish smile, getting a raised eyebrow in reply, “Oh I'm not done with you. Gotta make up for the lost years, sweetheart.” Dean's eyes darkened at the thought as Y/N gulped, knowing she wouldn't be able to walk properly for weeks.

Feedback is highly appreciated!

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grazieschillivera · 3 years

Text

Both is good

Summary : you have to babysit for a friend but unfortunately this only leads to Butcher being more stressed out

Word count : ca. 1800

You didn't even had to reach the last step or the stairs down to your hideout to see the lost faces of the boys.

,,What the hell Y/N?'' asked Hughie with furrowed brows, after a moment of weird silence.

,,What?I forgot something.'' you said casually while approaching them playing stupid on purpose for that stupid reaction.Not aware of the fact, that you just stepped into an argument between Butcher and the rest on his lacking interaction with Ryan.

,,I meant that baby.What happened?'' asked Hughie.

,,Did someone never taught you about the birds and bees.'' you said now with a low giggle, while turning the baby in your arms carefully that it could face Kimiko, who slowly had walked to you all fascinated by the baby.

,,This little cutie is Daisy, she is one year old and my former roomates baby.She has some appartment inspections today and asked me to babysit while she is gone.'' you explained finally and adjusted her little cap.

,,This picture is just wrong.You with a baby?'' said Butcher in a mocking tone.

,,Why?At least I can keep my dorm clean.Those empty asia food boxes are from last weekend and I bet Hughie hasn't managed to write his application documents for a job at Neumann's Office yet.'' you said while walking past him, after you had the baby handed to Kimiko.

You could hear Hughie groan behind you.

,,Was Y/N all the time this – parenting?'' asked Hughie.

,,No she's just in her role now, like always.Last time she was a fucking IT- Pro just because she could fix the TV.Y/N is just immature.'' said Butcher.

You and the rest of the group ''shhed'' Butcher for his choice of words at the same time.He gestured Kimiko to give him the baby instead, he didn't seem to like your uneasiness with it.Kimiko might belonged to Frenchie, but that did not change the fact that she was still dangerous.

,,I think both is good.Who doesn't want a mom, who is also still a bit of a child.'' said Hughie, giving you a bit more confidence after Butcher's critic.

,,I think Y/N would make a good mother.'' said Frenchie while taking Kimiko in his embrace to sooth the daring glance on Butcher.

,,Thanks.'' you said, giving him a brief but generous smile before you turned around again to search in your bag for the coziest scarf for Daisy and gloves for you. Even though Daisy wore a jacket, gloves and a cap you wanted to make sure she wouldn't freeze while being in the park with her.

,,What about you guys?Don't you have something to do today?'' you asked while searching.They explained to you that they had nothing to do currently besides waiting for some new information from Grace Mallory.

,,Why did you took the baby from Kimiko?'' you asked Butcher with a concering eyebrow lift when you were done and faced the group again.

You knew that this question put him on the spot but you rather felt for Kimiko in that moment.

,,You can't just hand the baby to every possible person, just keep it by your side.She is a supe after all.'' he said while he handed Daisy back into your embrace.His voice was clear, he had nothing to hide.

,,What happened the last time you had a baby in you arm?Three people got killed.'' you said while adjusting Daisy on your arm.

,,No one said I would be the better option love.'' said Butcher.

,,Well obviously not.You're always so critizising and serious, no wonder you just stay the same.'' you said.You two exchanged a daring stare.

The athmosphere was far too tense to let someone utter, what everyone thought.This scene was almost like a fight between mommy and daddy.

,,Then why don't you gather up your stuff and -.'' Butcher said but you interrupted him.

,,Fuck off.Yes just what I was thinking.'' you said in a low voice while covering Daisy's small ears.

,,Alright.I will be in the park if someone wants to join.'' you said before you walked to the door.You only noticed some weird noises behind you instead of a proper answer.With a curious look you turned around before you shoot at everyone a daring look not sure what that was about.

The entire park was covered with powdery snow, that glittered in the sun and crunched underneath the shoes.Unfortunately for you no snow fell from the sky, but Daisy still seemed to be amazed by it.Her little head turned around all the time, trying to see as much as possible.

A memory from your childhood crossed your minds.

,,Daisy?Shall I show you a magic trick?You know, I can let it snow.'' you said to Daisy before you started walking to a fir until you stood directly underneath it.You waited until you had Daisy's full attention at your hand, that had reached for a lower branch.Thats when you pulled it down and a gentle snowfall came down on you.Daisy's high pitched noises and kicking made you giggle, she clearly wanted a bonus.

You were far too occupied with her that you didn't notice how Butcher stood some meters away on the sidewalk and watched you.Then you would have noticed his poorly hidden smile due to how warm you made his heart feel at a sudden.

Instead you met Butcher's grumpy face, when you turned around after the third time you pulled on one of those snow covered branches.On his hair and shoulders laid a good amount of snowflakes.While Daisy showed her amusement merciless you could not really laugh at all.

,,What do you want here?'' you asked.

,,Thought you offered us to join you.'' said Butcher.

Some moments later you three sat down on a bench.

,,So what's the matter with shaking the snow from the threes?'' asked Butcher, who seemed to struggle with finding his words.

,,My mom always used to do this with me.She always called it a magic trick.'' you said back in this memory and Butcher snorted.

,,What?Was that already to immature again?'' you asked a bit annoyed by now.

,,Then tell me your favourite memory of your childhood?'' you said , when you got the feeling what topic Butcher might needed to talk about.

He thought about this for a moment.

,,I don't know.Maybe the days when Lenny and I went out fishing, he was into that stuff.Spending the entire fucking day on a lake waiting for nothing.'' Butcher said, but still his lips curled up in a smile.

,,Sounds fun.'' you said despite his uncomfortable tone.

,,Honestly.My dad also used to do this before he cheated on my mom and left us.Maybe you should try this out with Ryan.'' you said earning a sharp glimpse from him.His fists were balled.

,,Why does everyone has to come up with this fucking topic?'' he asked.That was the moment when you decided to not just accept Butcher's stubborness.

,,Butcher!'' you said now gesturing the Daisy, the second time of him cursing was enough for your liking.Normally you wouldn't mind.

,,Because you clearly need to talk about it.Why else would you come to me after we had a discussion?You normally just ignore it until I decide to do as well.'' you said starting to occupy Daisy with your hands, wiggeling and clapping casually around.

Butcher nodded a bit defeated.

,,So great father than?'' asked he.

,,Seems to be a thing more frequently.'' you said bitterly.

You started to talk about your childhood, when Butcher finally found the courage to explain his latest attitude.You both talked about your own messed up childhood , seeing that the both of you seemed to have a fair amount of similarities.

,,Laugh at me as much as you want but those little things like the magic trick , are sometimes the only thing someone has to prevent them from doing something far more stupid.If you don't want to do it for yourself or Ryan, do it for the rest of the world.He's a supe after all.'' you said, your voice sounded still bitter, cause your mind was still in some old memories.

You covered Daisy's face with your hand, when a cold gust of wind came around.

Butcher said nothing.Instead he looked you deep into the eyes, like he tried to find something in it that you just have let shine through.

,,I know I don't belong into this and I also believe in you.. but if you need help, I would love to be there for you... both.'' you said carefully but hesitated to reach for his hand.But before you could draw your hand back to yourself Butcher took it and caressed it gently.

,,Thanks.'' was all he said but there was no need for more words.He gave you a brief but honest smile, that even reached his eyes.You knew how much Butcher hated it to accept help in certain matters.So you gave him a reassuring smile and enjoyed the moment of peace between the two of you.

,,You know that I like you having with me and that I like you just as you are.Not just when I need your help.'' he said a bit lower, since you sat closer to him by now.

You had just let those words pass without a comment and shifted a bit in his arms.You liked Butcher but you knew he was good in manipulating people.

,,Honestly Y/N.Please know this.'' he added, when he seemed to know what you had on your mind.

,,You're sometimes really sweet Butcher.I miss this.'' you said not quite sure if you meant this current moment as well.

,,You know I can't always be like that.'' Butcher said honestly.

,,Never said I don't like your other said.The only thing I really don't like is your cunt attitude.'' you said in a whisper to still keep Daisy away from those words.

This seemed to put a smile on Butcher's face.It almost felt like a deal you just had made.

The scene got interrupted by a bang behind you.With no hesitation your turned around, while keeping Daisy near against your breast only to see Hughie, Frenchie and Kimiko approaching you.According to Hughie's smirk you had a feeling who had thrown the snowball, the last bits of his remains still clang on the bench.

There it was again.Butcher's tense fists, even though it was Hughie.His arm around you shoved you closer to him.Even though you liked the fact that he looked after you, you would need to keep this thing between the two of your going.Butcher might needed some comfort but also someone to show him his boundaries of his struggles.

You freed yourself out of his embrace and gave him a smirk before handing him Daisy over, who luckily hasn't mind the bang at all.

,,Maybe you can keep her for a second? That would be a good start.Just need to teach Hughie a lesson.'' you said ironically and started to make your first snowball before you ran towards him.

Butcher looked after you.The view of you falling into the snow due to your attempt to bring Hughie to the ground, made him chuckle.You might were not the most mature person now and than, but you still could take responsibility over something he still had to learn.Maybe that was the reason he liked you.Both was good.

#theboys #billy butcher x reader #billy butcher imagine #karl urban

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amanda-teaches · 3 years

Text

Secrets and Lights

Summary: Hiding your relationship with Dean has gotten harder the deeper you fall for him. The coming Christmas seems to be your hardest test yet, but will it turn into something so much more than you were expecting?

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Square filled: Secret Relationship for @spnchristmasbingo

Word Count: 1978

Warnings: sexual suggestiveness, a whole lot of fluff

A/N: This was written for @carryonmywaywardcaptain‘s Supernaturally Marvelous Challenge, and my prompt was Christmas Lights.

Hiding a relationship wasn’t easy, but boy was it fun, especially with Dean.

It was the ultimate adrenaline high. Stealing kisses in cloaked corners, sneaking through hallways in the middle of the night, dropping to your knees in the shower when Sam popped his head in unexpectedly. It felt dangerous and forbidden, which made every touch that much hotter. And, that’s really all it had started out as- heat.

Your relationship had begun under the height of the summer sun, something purely physical, a way to burn off steam for the both of you, an accidental tumble into bed that had ignited into a series of passionate rendezvous. You and Dean hadn’t seen a reason to tell anybody, not when the entirety of your relationship was built off of lips, hands, and...other body parts.

But, the colder weather brought change and an altogether different kind of heat. There were fewer quickies in the Impala and more nights spent in each other’s arms. Fewer furtive glances and more lingering touches. There were nights you stayed up until the early morning just talking, trading the sex for the chance to just listen to him breathe, tracing circles on his chest as he whispered his most personal stories in your ear. The heat between you became deep, it became real, and you knew without a doubt that you were falling in love with him.

That only made it that much harder to keep your relationship a secret. Now, things were different. Now, more than anything else, you didn’t want to hide him. You wanted to show him off, to tell the world, but you couldn’t. That wasn’t what you had agreed, so you kept it a secret because that’s what Dean wanted.

At least that’s what you thought. Little did you know that Dean had something far different in mind, and his plans were already in motion.

It all came to a head on Christmas. You’d assumed you were going to spend a quiet holiday at home with Sam, Jack, and Cas, but Dean surprised you last minute, telling you to pack your bags for a big family Christmas at Jody’s.

When you got there, he went into full nesting mode, helping the girls trim the tree, secretly tossing a wink your way every time the others were distracted. You smiled back, but inside you were coming unglued. You wanted to stand up, march over there, and kiss him in front of everyone, proud of the fact that the most amazing guy in the world had picked you, but you couldn’t. It was frustrating and exhausting and, frankly, the weight of the secret was just giving you a damn headache. After an hour of trying, and almost failing, to resist the way he pulled you to him like a magnet, you decided to get out of there, feigning sudden fatigue and excusing yourself to go upstairs.

Not surprisingly, that didn’t fool Dean for a second, and he caught up to you before you even reached the hallway. “Hey, you okay?”

“Yeah,” you said, plastering the smile back onto your face, although it was softer this time, more muted. “Just tired from the drive, I think.”

Dean cast a glance over his shoulder, checking the hallway before grabbing your hand and pulling you with him through the closest door. You barely had time to register that it was the laundry room before your back was up against the wall, Dean’s knee between your legs and his lips dragging across your throat. “I can think of a few ways to wake you up.”

You shivered at the low growl that rumbled against your pulse point before you remembered where you were, and why you’d left the living room in the first place. “Dean, we can’t, remember? Everyone’s here.”

He ran his hand up under your shirt, splaying it across your stomach. “So?”

“So,” you laughed, playfully pushing him off you before his hand could start to wander, “you’re bunking with Sam and I’m with Donna. This house is filled with people, and anyone could walk in. We have to be careful.”

His face turned into the most comical pout, and you couldn’t resist sneaking a quick peck to his lips. “Hey, you’re the one who wanted to come for Christmas, and since we can’t tell anyone about us…”

You trailed off, a hidden part of you hoping Dean would say screw it, let’s tell everyone, but he nodded instead, your heart falling a little in response.

“Yeah, you’re right, we’ll be careful.” He leaned down, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead. “You should get some rest. I’ll see you at dinner?”

You nodded, resting your head on his chest for a moment to savor the peace you found there. He wrapped his arms around you, enveloping you, pulling you in, and instantly soothing you, reminding you of just how you’d managed to fall so hard for him so easily. He made you feel wanted, and when you were in his arms, you were home. “Hey, maybe later, we could sneak away...I bet the Impala feels real cozy in the snow.”

His chuckle rumbled against your chest. “Oh, we’re definitely doing that. But, after you rest.”

“Aye, aye,” you joked, pulling away and turning towards the door. You paused before you reached the threshold, turning back and meeting his eyes. “Thanks for checking on me.”

His smile lit up his face, crinkling his eyes as it expanded. “I got you.”

“I got you,” you echoed, repeating the phrase that had become a familiar mantra for the two of you the last few months. “I…” You almost slipped up, almost said the three words you hadn’t quite gotten up the courage to utter yet. “I’ll see you at dinner.”

The next few hours were filled with a lot more staring off into space than sleeping, but darkness eventually fell, and you got a quick change of clothes before heading downstairs for dinner.

The living room, freshly decorated with a sparkling tree loaded with presents, was deserted, so you made your way into the kitchen where you found Sam, Jody, Donna, Claire, Alex, Jack, Cas, and Patience all gathered around the island.

They looked your way when you entered, Jody shooting you a smile. “Hey there, Y/N. You want to help us decorate some cookies before dinner?”

“Yeah, sure,” you muttered absentmindedly as you scanned the room. “Where’s Dean?”

Donna exchanged a look with Sam and grinned. “Oh, I think he’s outside. Would you mind getting him?”

Nodding, you spun towards the door leading to the backyard. “Yeah, sure.”

You moved to open it on autopilot, your mind already on the alone time with Dean that awaited you later that night, but once the door swung open, every tangible thought flew right out of your brain to be replaced with what could only be described as shocked buffering.

It was an honest to goodness winter wonderland. A forest of Christmas trees were strewn across the yard, with dazzling lights strung through every branch, twinkling and shining onto the soft white snow beneath. As you looked closer at the trees, you began to notice the ornaments hanging on each one: a tiny waffle, you quickly realized was the breakfast you and Dean had made a complete mess of trying to make that weekend Sam was out of town; a cup of tea, which Dean had quickly learned to make to perfection that time you came down with the flu; a pool ball, complete with a tiny scratch on it, just like the one you’d launched across the room when Dean had tried, and failed, to teach you how to play.

There were dozens more spread amongst the trees, all different memories of your relationship with Dean, all moments that had led the two of you to each other.

“You know that pool ball’s my favorite.” You turned at the sound of Dean’s voice, watching him approach you from where he’d been waiting within the trees. “I think that was the day I knew I wanted us to be more than friends.”

“Dean, wait, we can’t,” you rushed out, trying to signal him by gesturing back at the house behind you, but when you turned your head, you saw everyone already watching you, their faces plastered up against the windows.

Dean didn’t seem fazed, continuing to advance towards you. “I lined up the shot for you, thinking you’d just tap it into the rail, but you shot it across the room, up into the wall ten feet away.” He paused and laughed. “I didn’t even know it was possible to scratch a pool ball, but you did. And, the only thing I could think was damn, somehow this girl can make even that look sexy.”

That night, with the pool ball, it was over a year ago, long before you’d gotten together. He must’ve been misremembering. He couldn’t have known then... “Dean, everyone’s watching. They might find out…”

He kissed you before you could finish your thought, zapping the frenzy right out of you and silencing all of your worries with one touch. When he pulled back, he only left a few inches of space between the two of you, his gaze dropping to your lips and then slowly travelling up your face like a caress. “I told everyone about us a month ago, back when I first started planning tonight.”

It took a second for his words to register, and when they did, the realization hit you like a truck. “Wait, they know?! They all know? But, I thought…”

“I know, you thought I wanted to keep us a secret, but I don’t. I’m crazy about you, of course I wanted to tell the world that you’re mine, that I’m lucky enough to get to hold your hand every single day. Besides, I needed their help to plan this whole thing. You know, it’s not as easy to tell a girl you love her as you might think, but Donna and Jody are pretty great with the big gestures. I was coming up empty on any kind of plan until they helped me come up with this whole thing.”

“But, wait, if they’ve known for a month…” And, that’s when it hit you again, the moment you really froze, his words sinking in to leave you speechless for the third time in five minutes. “D...did you just say you love me?”

Dean nodded, grabbing your hands and interlacing his fingers with yours, his eyes shining only for you. His voice was confident and sure, ringing out for the world to hear. “I love you, Y/N. I’m in love with you. The luckiest day of my life was when I somehow got you to want me back. I know we didn’t want to put too much pressure on it, but I need you to know. I’m all in, and it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way yet, but…”

“I love you too.” You rushed the words out, so excited you couldn’t even wait for him to finish. “I’m sorry, I know you probably had this whole speech planned, but I do, Dean. I love you.”

You could hear clapping and cheering behind you as he grinned and pulled you in, but it all faded out the moment his lips touched yours, his kiss making the whole word come to a stop for just a minute.

By the time the world started spinning again, it had started to snow, and everyone rushed out with a flurry of congratulations and hugs. You celebrated with them, but Dean never let go of your hand, holding it proudly and tenderly for everyone to see, the gesture radiating with the only thing bright enough to outshine all of the Christmas lights surrounding you: your love.

#supernaturally marvelous fic challenge #dean x reader #dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester fluff

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smol-and-grumpy · 4 years

Text

EUPHORIA - Chapter 19

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: He’s Dean Winchester, owner of a shady night club. She’s a journalist who has been asked to write an article to expose the indecency and debauchery that’s going on behind closed doors. But he’s also Dean Winchester, the boy who sat next to her in class. The boy who was too cocky for his own good.

Chapter Warning: Flangst

WC: 2653

A/N: This chapter fills my ‘authority kink’ square for @spnkinkbingo. Please share your thoughts with me, I’d love to hear your feedback.

Beta’d by @deanwanddamons <3

This series is more than two weeks ahead on patreon!

Series Masterlist ~ SPN Masterlist

Become a Patron ~ Buy me a coffee

The next morning Y/N wakes up sore all over. It’s her own fault really. Dean had made it clear that he wasn’t going to fuck her but she had to go and beg him for it. She just can’t help it. He’s so good to her, respects her and always puts her first.

Needy little thing , he once said.

He’s not wrong. And it’s all entirely his fault. He’s the one who makes her all tingly inside. It’s not only her pussy that tingles either, it’s her heart too.

Falling for him seems like the easiest thing to do and she doesn’t know if she can catch herself on time. She doesn’t want to get hurt, she really doesn’t.

Y/N hopes that she can make time to see him today but there’s still tons of work to catch up on because she kind of set them aside, probably thinking that it’s going to dematerialize into thin air, but it seems like it fucking didn’t. Plus she’s going to have to go to Washington tomorrow either. That means two nights without seeing him.

But this morning, she notices a text from him on her phone, and she can’t stop grinning like a complete idiot.

D: I hope you’ll have a great start of the day, baby. Can you make room for me today?

D: Please?

It was sent close to 4am. He probably just got back from work. She hopes that he only worked last night. This whole concept of being with someone who owns a sex club is still hard to wrap her mind around. He can basically go down and have sex whenever he likes. How can he resist? She doesn’t get it? Would she be able to? Why does he want her when he can have anyone there?

But again, she should trust him, shouldn’t she? It’s just… she’s been burned before. Trust is still a thing she has to learn.

From the way Cas and the other employees are talking, it doesn’t seem like Dean’s ever engaged in anything there and he’s been telling her that too. And she believes him, she does. There’s just something nagging at the back of her mind, is all.

It’s almost 3pm when she types out emails to her colleagues about their inputs for the workshop. As she’s the only one there from her team, she needs some pointers on what to focus on so she can report back to them about particular hot topics.

She thinks she can go and see Dean before she has to be back at 10pm and work until the print deadline.

Gathering her phone and cash, Y/N makes her way out, informing Rufus that she’ll be in later and takes a cab to the club.

On the way there, she thinks that maybe she should have called him and said that she’s on her way, but abandons that thought quite quickly because somehow, she wants to surprise him.

When she arrives at the club some fifteen minutes later, she hears loud music from the inside, which is highly unusual. She doesn’t think that she has heard any music during the day, like ever. Not until shortly before opening time at least.

Curiously, she walks closer. There’s only one bouncer standing outside and he notices her, opens up the door for her with a courtesy nod. The bass of the music vibrates on the ground with every step she takes. The music is not really loud like it is during opening, but it’s loud enough to feel it beneath her skin.

Y/N parts the heavy curtain at the entrance, and what she sees makes her stop in her tracks. The club is basically full with strippers. There were at least four dancing on stage. About another dozen lounged around on the chairs and booth around the stage, watching the performances. Right in the middle, sitting at a table is Dean, an empty chair next to him, and there’s one stripper who she thinks is dancing exceptionally close to him while he’s sitting back, and watches the show before him. His lips curve up into that charming cocky grin he used to have in school, the crinkles around his eyes deepening and she feels something stinging at her heart.

She curses herself for not letting him know that she’s on the way. And why is she even here again? God, what she sees makes her sick to her stomach. That’s exactly a thing she doesn’t necessarily need to see, to be honest.

Fight or flight?

Oh, she wants to leave, alright? But again, if she leaves, would she be able to act like she saw fucking nothing? Would she be able to act like it doesn’t fucking matter? She’ll be upset and she’d have to explain to him why she’s upset and since she’s already here, maybe she should face it like a fucking adult. The thing with them will probably end anyway, won’t it? Why not now before she falls any harder. Right now she can still get out with minimal damage to her heart.

Her way of thinking is totally stupid, she knows. She just can’t really help the doubts in her head.

She takes a couple of breaths, wills her heart to just fucking stop beating so hard, and then she summons all her courage to walk forward to Dean.

Approaching slowly and carefully, Y/N comes to stand next to him and Dean notices her, turns his head to look up and he fucking smiles when she sees her, like the things happening here is no fucking big deal.

Maybe it isn’t to him , she reminds herself. Maybe she’s the one who overreacts.

“Hey,” Dean grins, and she’s standing close enough for him to reach out his hand for her. It catches her wrist and he pulls her down with a force that sees her landing on his lap. He quickly wraps his arms around her, kisses her temple, her cheek, the corner of her mouth.

The stripper quickly retreats. Good.

She’s irritated to say the least and pushes herself away and off his lap, frowning at him when she looks down, and then her mouth opens to speak, “Am I interrupting?”

Dean sees her distress, jumps up from his chair and takes her hand, pulls her to the back and away from the crowd, where there were more booths and love-seats that were unoccupied. She thinks it’s because he doesn’t want her causing a scene right in front of everyone, and scare away his fucking strippers, when that’s all she actually wants to do.

His grip is tight around her arm and she shakes it off, snorting loudly at the absurdity of it all.

“You’re upset,” He breathes, threads his hand through his hair before he rubs at his scruff.

From her standing point she can still see the half naked figures dancing on stage, and can see them mingling in the first seating row. Y/N’s sure that they can see them too, sees a couple of the girls craning her neck to see what’s going on. Dean’s hand reaches out, wanting to touch her again but he stops short, knowing that she’ll shrug him off.

“Wow,” She snorts, “Tell me why I shouldn’t be?”

Dean purses his lips into a thin line, and she can see that he’s smirking. Why is he fucking smirking? He reaches out a hand, lays it on her shoulder and she pats it away. Dean lets out a frustrated sound before he rubs a hand over his face again.

“Jesus, Y/N! It’s not what it fucking looks like!”

He’s a little louder. It’s making her flinch and there are eyes looking back at them.

“Oh, it fucking looks like your club is full of fucking strippers and you’re about to get a fucking lap dance,” Y/N cranes her neck to look over his shoulder dramatically. Just for good fucking measure, “Ah, look, they’re still there! So yeah, I think it is exactly what it fucking looks like!”

God, she doesn’t even know why she’s so upset. She doesn’t want to be but she can’t help it. He calls her his girl and dammit, he is hers too, isn’t he?

“Fuck’s sake,” Dean growls, “If you would just fucking listen to me for a sec—”

“—Go on, humor me!” She snaps and he groans at the interruption, lets his head drop down to breath for a moment. Probably trying to control himself because she knows herself that she’s being a fucking pain in the ass right now.

The way he just stares at her with irritation on his face almost makes her pity him. Almost. There’s something else she sees in his eyes as well. Even though the club is not well lit, there's something else in his expression. Something… fond? Like he’s irritated about her outburst but somehow he’s also very delighted about it. And that is fucking irritating.

Dean’s hand reaches out for her again and grabs her by the back of her neck, his thumb massaging circles on her skin before he lowers his face to her level, “Fucking listen to me, okay?”

Y/N crosses her arms over her chest, raises one eyebrow in challenge and Dean sighs. His grip is tighter where her shoulder meets her neck, fingertips digging into her skin.

“We’re having a Striptease Night in the VIP room, alright? It’s a fucking casting!”

“Yeah, right,” She scoffs, blows air out of her mouth, sending the strands of hair in her face flying up.

He’s smirking. The hell is he smirking for?

Dean licks his lips before he goes on, “Cas just went to the bathroom,” He turns his head to look back at the space where he was sitting, and she takes a look too, sees Cas sitting back there with a clipboard in hand, “And now he’s back and the casting can go on.”

Y/N could swear that Cas wasn’t there just a moment ago and now she feels kind of stupid because she thinks that Dean’s telling the truth. But still, it’s exactly what she was thinking earlier. He’s the fucking owner of a fucking sex club and she has issues with her insecurities and that’s not a fucking good mix!

“Baby, you have nothing to be worried about,” His voice is softer and Dean moves his face closer, kisses the top of her head to test the water. When he sees that she’s not pushing him away, he weaves an arm around her waist, pulls her closer and kisses her lips. However, he probably feels that she’s still upset and won’t kiss him back, so he parts again to thumb at them, “Y/N, I’m not a fucking idiot. All I want is you, okay? How do I get you to understand?”

“I don’t know,” She mumbles, doesn’t really look at him but instead, she stares down, “I just don’t get it. Why me? Look at what you’re missing out on!” Y/N gestures widely with both her hands.

He’s grinning before he kisses her again and this time, she can’t help but give in, kisses him rough and needy, her body melts to his and Dean lowers his body, picks her up and carries her to the next love-seat in the back, making her straddle him. The music’s still going on behind them and she hears girls laughing and talking together.

Dean parts after a while, pecks her lips, leaves his forehead on hers, “Jesus Christ, Y/N, you just don’t get that you were the first one I ever really wanted, do you? Now that I’ve found you, I would never put myself in the position to lose you.” He takes her wrist, guides it down between them to palm over his cock, “You feel that? I only want you for crying out loud!”

He’s hard. Like, really hard. Not just semi hard, it’s the real deal. He wasn’t hard before, not even semi, when he pulled her into his lap moments ago.

“And all just from fucking kissing you,” He pecks her lips again but holds her hand there where she rubs over his clothed cock, groaning a little at the friction her hand provides, “You have no fucking idea how much you affect me,”

She swallows hard, “You’re doing the same to me,” Her lips curve up into a smile, “I want you to fuck me now.”

Dean’s grins widens, “Jesus, baby,”

It turns him on hearing these dirty words from her lips, he can’t lie about that.

He kisses her once more, leaves his lips there, teeth tugging at her bottom lip, bites so hard it makes her squeal into his mouth and then he sucks at it, eases the pain.

He parts with a question, “How long do we have?”

“I have to be back by ten.”

“Good,” He nods, while he takes out his phone and texts Cas, although the man is just a couple of feet away, but Dean thinks it seems too much to ask of him to walk over there with a fucking boner in his pants.

As soon as he places the phone back in his dress pants, she takes his hand, “Come on,” She says in an authoritarian voice Dean’s never heard from her, and it makes him all kinds of fluttery inside.

She walks away, but turns around to look back at him when she sees that Dean’s not moving, still sitting there in the seat because he’s admiring her. She rolls her eyes and sighs, lifts her arms away from her body, “Follow me, Dean!”

She’s still upset, Dean can tell, because she storms off, walks swiftly and loudly up the stairs, and Dean grins like an idiot before he dashes after her.

By now, Y/N knows her way around his club, and Dean is strangely okay with that. It’s okay that his employees know that she belongs to him. They don’t even ask any questions, only opening the door for her and he almost has to run to keep up.

It’s a whole new side of her that he sees. The way she stomps along the floor of the VIP room, the way she doesn’t even look back to see if he follows because she knows that he does. How could he not? Seeing her all worked up and being all possessive and authoritarian over him, turns Dean on. Definitely can’t lie about that. He’s getting just a little harder thinking about what she might do to him.

He would let her. Of course he would.

And that is a first for him. Usually he’s the one in control, not only with her but it has always been like that. He absolutely hated the fact that someone else could have control over his life, sexually or non-sexually. But with her, Dean thinks that he feels comfortable enough to let her steer the wheel. He’d like to sit shotgun for some time, let her take over. There’s some comfort in knowing that he’s being taken care of as much as he takes care of others.

Dean watches her pausing mid-stomp, she’s about thirty feet ahead when she turns around and braces her fists on her hips, “Are you coming?”

Jesus, his dick twitches at the sight and Dean’s almost guilty for finding her distress highly arousing.

Apparently, he finds out kinks about him he never knew he had. Authority kink is one of them, and no, he’s not ashamed about that.

He clears his throat, smirks cockily, “Well, I hope I will,” Dean chuckles satisfactory at his own joke. It was a great one, alright. He walks a little faster, catching up but before he could reach her, she rolls her eyes, turns around and continues to walk on.

Fucking adorable, is what she is.

Chapter 20

#euphoria #spnkinkbingo #dean winchester #dean winchester x you #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester fan fic #dean winchester series #dean winchester fan fiction #dean winchester fic #nathalie writes

197 notes · View notes

cutie1365 · 4 years

Text

A Kid from Queens Part 19

Pairing: Peter Parker x Stark!Reader

Info: CA: Civil War Era. Tony Stark enlists his daughter to find the web slinging spider in Queens.

Word count: 4.2k

Warnings: Language

A/N: I think this is the longest chapter I’ve ever written, but y’all deserve it since I’ve been on hiatus for school. Enjoy!

Any and all feedback is much appreciated!

Masterlist linked in my bio. Taglist in the reblog.

- - - - - 🕷 - - - - -

The light peeking through the curtains caused Peter to stir, as he reached across the bed for you. Instead he found your spot empty, and cold, so you’ve been up for a while.

He pulled the covers from himself and made his way into the kitchen, not bothering to put his shirt back on.

“Hi.” You smile as you see Peter sauntering towards you, sleepy, shirtless, and with his curls gathering into a messy mop on top of his head.

“It’s early,” Peter groaned, rubbing his eyes.

“I know. I have to go upstate and I want to make sure I’m back in time for dinner.” You explained.

Peter noticed your bag and keys ready to go on the counter, and assumed you were waiting for him to wake up.

“Oh, sorry I can-” He motioned towards the balcony but you cut him off.

“No, no you’re fine. Stay. Here, I made some breakfast,” You pushed a plate towards him as he sat down at the counter. “F.R.I.D.A.Y. can help you if you need anything.”

“Are you sure?” Peter asked, hesitantly picking up the fork next to his plate.

“Positive,” You smiled, “Stay as long as you need, F.R.I. will lock up after you leave.”

You grabbed your bag, keys, and the helmet sitting on your chair.

“Um, what’s that for?” Peter raised a brow and pointed the end of his fork at the sleek black helmet.

“Well, last I checked its state law to wear a helmet while riding.” You shrugged.

“You have a motorcycle?” Peter asked in shock, his voice raising an octave.

“Something like that.” You smirked, pulling the helmet under your arm.

“How?” Peter asked, still baffled. He never pegged you as the motorcycle type.

“Steve taught me a couple years ago”, You brushed it off as if it was nothing, but Peter’s eyes were still wide. You chuckled “You wanna see it don’t you?”

“Um yeah.” Peter said as if it was obvious, and jumped out of his chair as you slipped on your black leather jacket.

Peter followed you out of the door into your private garage and his eyes landed on a sleek, black Stark Industries bike.

“This looks like something straight out of Mission Impossible.” Peter gushed.

“It was Nat’s, I’m holding on to it for her.” You explained.

“I didn’t know Stark Industries made bikes like this.” Peter said, totally fixated on the bike and the fact that the Black Widow rode this.

“We make a lot of things, we just don’t mass produce them. My grandfather did try to make a flying car after all.” You chuckled as you straddled the bike, pushing the key into the ignition.

“I should be back in a few hours, I’ll see you tonight.” You smiled as you kissed Peter goodbye.

“This is super hot by the way.” Peter motioned to you on the bike as he stepped back.

“I know,” You smirked, slipping on your helmet, revving the engine and driving away.

Peter chuckled and shook his head.

“I’m in trouble,” he muttered with a goofy smile on his face as he made his way back into your apartment.

- - - - - 🕷 - - - - -

As you pulled up to the compound, you knew what you had to do. No more lies, just like you’d promised. You walked into the lobby, running your fingers through your hair after releasing it from your helmet.

“Hey, Y/N!” You turned to see a familiar face walking by, and that was a miracle in and of itself.

“Rhodey! Where’s the old man?” You asked with a smile.

“He’s up in his office.” He directs you.

“He in a good mood?” You asked with a chuckle, knowing you were about to ruin it.

“For now, troublemaker.” He tousled your hair.

“Hey, trouble finds me.” You smirked, causing him to laugh as you flattened your hair.

You started walking toward the elevator as you heard his voice call out to you once more.

“Oh, I think Pepper’s looking for you.” Rhodey said as you stepped into the elevator.

“Oof, then I really am in trouble.” You replied as the door began to shut, you saw him chuckle and send you a wave that you returned.

You got off the elevator and walked the long hallway to your father’s office. You missed the tower– here everything was so spread out, at least in the tower you could just take the elevator all the way up exactly where you need.

You noticed his door was cracked as you approached it.

“Dad,” You knocked on his door, simultaneously pushing it open and stepping inside.

“Yeah?” He was standing behind his desk, his eyes not leaving the file in his hands.

“I wanna tell you something.” You chose your words carefully. You weren’t necessarily asking for permission, but you did want to be open and honest with him.

“Ok.” He said calmly, closing the file and setting it on his desk, his eyes focused on you, telling you to continue.

“I like Peter.” You said slowly.

“Yes.” He stated, as if that was obvious.

“And I want to be with him.” You continued, gaining a little courage.

“Ok.” He nodded, and picked up his file once more as if you didn’t just drop a bomb on him.

“Ok?” You asked, confused. Had he not heard you?

“That’s what I said.” He shrugged, flipping a page in his file.

“Just like that? ‘Ok’?” You pressed, surely there was a ‘but’ coming.

“Look Y/N,” He dropped his file once more and put both hands on his desk, leaning towards you, “I’ve seen you these last few months and you haven’t been yourself. You’ve been overworking yourself in the lab, and I haven’t seen you truly happy in a while. I figured there might be a correlation.”

“And you’re ok with this?” You raised a brow, suspicious at how he’d suddenly changed his tune about you and Peter.

“I’m giving it a chance. One chance.” He nodded, and you couldn’t contain yourself.

“Thank you, dad.” You jumped into his arms, practically squealing.

He stopped you after a moment, pulling away and holding you at arm's length.

“But you have to be careful. You can see the kid, but you can’t get caught up when he puts the suit on.” He gave you a stern look.

“I know, I know.” You nodded. Tony smiled and you hugged him once more. He patted your back.

“Alright pipsqueak, go see Pep before you head out.” He said once you’d pulled away, you nodded as he kissed the top of your head, sending you on your way.

You made your way across the compound, wondering why the hell their offices were on opposite sides of the building. You were sure getting your steps in today.

As you made it to Pepper’s office, her assistant nodded to you, letting you know to head right on in.

“Hey Pep.” You smiled, a little nervously as you headed into her office. You didn’t know what this was about.

“Hello sweetie, sit.” She motioned to the chairs in front of her desk. You did as she said.

“I looked over your proposal for the internship program. It’s good Y/N, really good.” Pepper placed her hand on the packet you’d put together for more specifics on the program, budget, and schedule.

“Thank you.” You smiled, relieved.

“You really care about this don’t you.” She asked.

“Of course I do, I mean this is more than just an internship for a couple of months. This is investing in our company's future and in these students' futures.” You explained, showing how clearly passionate you were about this.

“Speaking of our company's future...” Pepper said slowly, leaning back in her chair, “Your father and I were talking, and we think you’re ready to take on more than just Philanthropy.”

“What exactly did you have in mind?” You asked, excitedly. This is what you’ve been waiting for, something more, a chance to use your skills.

“We want you to be on the Robotics Review Board. All prototypes the team designs will have to be tested, inspected, and approved by you. What do you think?” Pepper tilted her head, smiling once she saw your eyes light up.

“That sounds perfect,” You beamed, before furrowing your brows, “But, why all of a sudden?”

“You’re turning 19 next week, you’ve proven you can handle Philanthropy and this Internship Program, and we think you’re ready for more. You’re going to be running this company one day Y/N, we want to put you in the best position to do that successfully.” She explained.

“Thank you, Pepper.” You smiled somberly. You knew you were being groomed to take over this company one day, but it seemed so far away. Pepper isn’t set to retire for another twenty years at least.

“Don’t thank me, you’ve earned this. Come here.” She stood, waving you over into her open arms. You stood, and she wrapped her arms around you. It was warm and comforting, she was the closest thing to a mother you had.

“Now you better get going, you don’t want to keep the kid waiting.” She chuckled, rubbing her hand up your arm.

“How do you-?” Your eyes went wide, as she just smirked.

“Go get him, Tiger. And remember what I taught you.” She raised a brow.

“Don’t put out on the first date?” You smirked. She shook her head with a chuckle.

“The other thing I taught you- never show up to someone’s home empty handed.” She shook her head, she swore sometimes you were just like your father.

“Way ahead of ya.” You smiled starting to walk towards her door.

“But the first rule still stands young lady!” She yelled after you, you chuckled as you spun and waved goodbye as the elevator doors closed around you.

- - - - - 🕷 - - - - -

As you walked back into your building the concierge stopped you and said they’d received a package for you. You raised a brow, you really didn’t give out this address and you hadn’t ordered anything, but you accepted it with a smile.

You took the small FedEx box from his hands and made your way into the elevator. Once the doors had closed you ripped the strip down the side and opened it. Dumping the box upside down, a small burner phone fell into your hand.

You stepped out of the elevator onto your floor as you looked into the box, looking for a note, but found none. You raised a brow, curious as to who it could be, as you walked into your apartment.

The living room was dark, and you assumed Peter got home alright. You flipped on the light and slid the phone out of the box once more, walking straight towards the kitchen counter to set it down. You didn’t question things like this anymore, ever since you had started assisting the FBI in their investigation of the major.

“I see you got my gift.” You hear from behind you, and jump around with a slight scream, your hand flying to your chest.

“Steve?” Your brows furrow as your eyes land on a familiar face, “What the fuck!”

“I need your help.” He stands from your chair in the living room, with an authoritative tone.

You turned your back on him, still angry for everything that had happened, now he had the balls to come ask for your help. You placed the phone on the counter, discarding it.

“I’ve got a lot on my plate right now. Plus I’m pretty sure it would be treason if I helped you.” You huffed.

“I just need some files.” He pleaded with you.

“Then steal them, why do you need me?” You snipped, whipping around to face him.

“They’re old Shield files.” He tried to explain, stepping closer to you. You’d forgotten how tall he was as he towered over you.

“And?” You retorted, knowing there was more he wasn’t telling you.

“And only Tony has access to them.” Steve said, causing you to sigh.

“Look, I know you wouldn’t have come here unless it was important and you’re risking a lot by even being in the country right now, but I’m going to need a little bit more than that to go off of if you’re asking me to betray my father.” You placed your hand on your hip, snapping at him.

“It’s for Bucky.” He was ready to give you his famous puppy dog eyes if you didn’t agree to help.

“Isn’t it always?” You rolled your eyes.

“We’re trying to help him. Take out whatever they put in his head. But we need to know how they did it. There’s a notebook, Zemo had it in Berlin, then the Task Force turned it over to Tony to keep safe. We need it.” He was finally giving you a little bit of information, although not much.

“Who’s ‘we’?” You crossed your arms over your chest.

“I can’t tell you that.” He shakes his head, he knew he could trust you, but no one could know they were in Wakanda.

“Of course you can’t.” You let out a dry laugh, shaking your head and looking off in the distance.

“Y/N, I’m sorry to put you in this position-” Steve tried to apologize but you cut him off.

“It’s been six months Steve!” You yelled, stepping towards him and waving your arms as you yelled, “We haven’t heard from you, hell we didn’t even know if you were alive! You couldn’t check in just once?”

“I’m sorry Y/N.” He said, genuinely.

“I thought we were friends Steve.” You shook your head with a frown, speaking just above a whisper.

“We are, and I promise I’ll make it up to you, but right now I really need these files.” Steve pleaded once more, hitting you with the golden boy puppy dog eyes.

You groaned, whipping around and starting to walk towards your lab.

“Come with me.” You called to him, and heard his footsteps behind you as you entered your lap. Thankfully you had access to all of the Stark servers.

You sat down in front of the large desktop screen and started typing. You had backdoored into your father’s account years ago, so that wasn't going to be hard. Now you just needed to be careful to not alert him to any presences in the system while you find the files. One slip up and you were toast.

Steve stood silently, leaning on the table next to you, watching you work.

“So... who’s the guy?” Steve asked, breaking the silence.

“What?” You turned to him, your eyes popped. How the hell did everyone know about this?

“The guy I saw leaving your place a few hours ago.” He clarified, and you rolled your eyes.

“Peter,” You spoke, turning back to the computer and typing while you talked, “You’ve met him.”

“I have?” Steve raised a brow.

“You decked him if I remember.” You chuckled, your eyes not leaving the screen.

“I what?” Steve asked, horrified.

You glanced to your side and pushed a piece of paper from your desk towards Steve. It had diagrams of Peter’s suit on it.

“The Queens kid?” He asked, picking up the paper, you nodded in response, “Hmm, that’s a nice looking suit.”

“I’d make you a suit too if you weren’t a war criminal.” You teased.

“Ouch,” Steve put his hand to his chest, fiening insult.

You turned to him and chuckled, shaking your head at him. You missed this, you missed the team all together. Back when they were a team, not divided, scattered all around the world. Suddenly the computer beeped and flashed, turning your attention back to the screen.

“Shit.” You muttered as you examined the screen, you had just found the files, you were so close.

“What?” Steve asked, worried. He came closer, leaning over your shoulder to get a better look at the screen.

“There’s a password.” You explained, Tony didn’t use passwords, everything was biometrics: facial scans, finger prints, etc.

“Five letters.” Steve said, even he knew that wasn’t a secure password. To you, that meant this wasn’t a password, it was a reminder.

“The file is just the notebook?” You asked, turning back to Steve.

“Yeah, it should just be a scanned copy, why?” Steve furrowed his brows, but you didn’t answer. Instead you turned and typed in the one word you knew it had to be.

The screen lit up with “Access Granted” and started downloading the file.

“How’d you know?” Steve asked, you’d been so confident in it.

“It’s his mother, the one who Bucky-” Your voice trailed off, not wanting to complete the thought. Your grandmother: Maria.

“Oh.” Steve nodded in understanding.

“You want a paper copy or digital?” You asked, changing the subject.

“Both?” He answered and you nodded, typing away to begin printing and transferring a copy of the file to a blank flash drive for Steve to take.

“Shit,” You muttered, looking down at your watch, “I need to get ready. Just wait here, that’s gonna take a while to print, it’s almost 200 pages.”

You pushed out of your chair, and Steve nodded at your command, as you left him in the lab. You could not be late to this dinner, and you knew how long it would take to drive all the way to Queens at rush hour.

You came back into the lab about 10 minutes later, now in a casual dress with your hair down and some red lipstick on. Steve didn’t say anything as you began digging through some drawers in your lab, before pulling out what you were looking for and slipping it in your purse.

You made your way back over to the computer, reaching behind it to pull out the flash drive.

“Here ya go.” You smiled, handing it to Steve.

“Thanks,” He nodded, before continuing, “You look nice.”

“Not too much?” You asked, nervously, brushing down the skirt of your dress. He shook his head with a smile as the printer spat out the last page. You gathered the pages and placed them all in a manila file folder before handing it to him.

“Anything else I can do for you Rogers?” You asked as he followed you back into the living room.

“No, thank you. You don’t know how much this means to me.” He said, graciously.

“Well, everyone deserves a second chance, now you can help Bucky get his,” You said as you slipped the burner phone into your purse, “You know how to reach me if you need anything else.”

“Thanks, I owe you.” Steve smiled.

“Yes, yes you do.” You smirked, as you left your apartment, going your separate ways.

This was definitely not how you expected your day to go.

- - - - - 🕷 - - - - -

Just as the clock struck 6:00 you rang the doorbell of the Parker residence. May pulled the door open with a smile.

“Y/N, come in!” She said, with an apron wrapped around her dress, as she motioned inside and held the door open for you.

“Thank you, these are for you,” You smiled, handing her the bouquet of flowers in your hand.

“Oh how sweet, they’re beautiful. I’ll put them in some water. Peter!” May called to her nephew as she made her way towards the kitchen.

“Coming!” A voice came from the back of the apartment.

“What’s this?” May asks, pointing down to the box in your hands.

“Oh, it’s just a little something.” You smiled, handing her the box as Peter’s door opened.

“Hi,” Peter smiles at you with a goofy grin on his face, “You look really pretty.”

He’s seen you with no makeup, and he’s seen you in full glam. But standing before him with natural makeup and a plain dress, you looked gorgeous.

“Thank you,” You blushed, as you hugged him, breathing in his familiar, comforting scent.

A sudden scream makes you both jump. Both of your instincts kick in. You turned to see May holding the open box, exposing a new pair of the shoes you wore on TV.

“Are these?” Her eyes went wide, unable to contain herself.

“If they don’t fit, blame Peter.” You pointed to her nephew with a teasing smirk.

“Oh my god,” she squealed.

Peter smiled down at you, his arm still wrapped around you. His aunt needed this, he hadn’t seen her this happy since Uncle Ben died. He had no idea you were going to do this, but he thought it was really sweet.

“Oh, I have something for you too Peter.” You began to dig through your purse, before pulling it out.

“Aha! Here,” you pulled out the small metal disk roughly the size of a tennis ball, “It’s an exact replica of Cap’s shield... scaled down of course.”

“Woah,” He examined it with wise eyes, flipping it over in his hands, “Is this vibranium?”

“Yep, so don’t lose it,” You chuckled, “My grandfather used this prototype to pitch to the US Army, to convince them to fund the real thing. He even shot it to show it was bulletproof. You can still see the scuff mark on the back.”

Peter flipped it over and his eyes landed on the spot you described. He couldn’t believe he was holding this, it reminded him of the time he held Cap’s real shield for a moment, all those months ago when he’d first met you. If someone had told him back then that Y/N Stark would be standing in his living room for dinner, let alone his girlfriend, he would have thought they were crazy.

“Y/N, I can’t accept this, this should be in a museum.” Peter said, holding the disk out towards you.

“It’s ok,” You pushed it back towards him, “He made two, I’ve got the other. I know you’ll keep it safe.”

“Y/N...” He tilted his head, still not convinced that you should be giving him something this valuable. After all, vibranium is the rarest metal on earth.

“Please, for your birthday.” You smiled, giving him your best puppy dog eyes until he gave in.

You giggled at his defeat, as he leaned in to give you a quick kiss.

“If you two are done being adorable, dinners ready.” May said, with a smirk.

Dinner was exactly what you needed. It was filled with laughter and happiness. Was this what a normal life looked like? The closest thing you’ve ever had to a family dinner was team dinners in the tower, and even then you weren’t always present with school keeping you away. Did normal people sit down and eat dinner together every night?

This was definitely a feeling you could get used to.

After dinner you were sitting on the couch with Peter as May sat in the chair next to you. She spoke up after a lull in conversation.

“Ok, I have to ask,” May’s tone changed to more serious, and Peter knew what that meant.

“May-” Peter warned her. She’d mentioned this to Peter before you arrived and he really didn’t want to make you answer this question, especially considering what had just happened last night.

“No, it’s ok.” You nod towards her to continue. You didn’t have anything to hide... well, barely anything.

“I thought...” She took a second to choose her wording, “Well from the papers, I thought you were dating the mayor’s son until about a week ago. I’m just looking out for my nephew here.”

The question caught you a little off guard, but it wasn’t uncalled for. You could definitely see why she would be concerned, and she deserved an honest answer.

“As you should. But no, Thomas and I broke up months ago after the attack at the mayor’s fundraiser. After that, it was publicists who wanted to keep up the image. They’d stage an outing a week for pictures, but it wasn’t real. I didn’t want to keep living a lie, so we staged a break up.” You told her the truth, well, most of the truth, leaving out the part where you kept fake dating to protect Peter, who’s Spider-Man, and investigate the major’s black market dealings. But basically the gist is the same.

“Guess the magazines don’t tell you everything,” May nodded in understanding. Peter looked embarrassed and he felt bad that May was interrogating you. You reached next to you to take his hand, to reassure him that everything was ok.

“They get a lot wrong, that’s for sure...” You paused for a moment, “Miss Parker, I know you don’t know me very well, but I really care about Peter. I have since the first day I met him, and I’d never do anything to hurt him. I can promise you that.”

“Aunt May.” She said slowly.

“What?” You furrowed your brows.

“You can call me Aunt May.” She smiled, and Peter’s eyes went wide. That was big, that meant she really liked you. You’d gotten the May stamp of approval, and to Peter, that meant a lot.

- - - - - 🕷 - - - - -

100 notes · View notes

monsterquest · 4 years

Photo

A Secret Light, A Sacred Fire

I would like to present to you my not-at-all new Maul/Qi’ra fic that I am currently writing. Both as an introduction to a ship that I adore and my writing, which I hope to share more of in the future. Long story short, this is a fix-it AU which immediately follows the events of Solo: A Star Wars Story and my intention was to give both Maul and Qi’ra a chance to pick a different path and find the belonging they have longed for. I’m not here to subvert expectations.

Rating: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ~nsfw Current Length: 7/? Chapters (ca 37K words)

⸻

Chapter 1

Qi'ra paced nervously in her quarters, every once in a while glancing out of the viewport. She was no more sure of her fate now than she was when the gates of the checkpoint had slammed in her face on Corellia.

"Han..." she thought, her mind spelling out the name as her thoughts wandered back to him. She sincerely hoped he would be okay.

"As long as he's got Chewie with him, he will be," she found a way to quiet her concerns somewhat.

It was strange to have crossed paths with him again after all this time, especially given the way those three years inbetween had changed her. She had fallen back to the embrace of her past feelings for a moment or two, but had soon sensed a disconnection. What he resurfaced in her was no longer true to how she really felt. He was still the same, that sweet Han that she had fallen for. But she was no longer the same woman. And to him, whom she had become, that woman had gone unnoticed. There was nothing left to hold on to, for his reaction to her was to a memory.

There was no future in the cards for them, and wishful thinking wouldn't change that. Han was still much like the boy she'd known – daring, optimistic, exciting and pulsating with a sincere and magnetic warmth. Something far more precious than anything a smuggler should be. Despite his charm, he remained simultaneously impatient and in the long run fickle and unreliable.

Qi'ra had changed in the span of that time, having grown from a street-smart Corellian brat to a woman determined to survive the many moods and whims of the men who saw themselves in charge of her fate. It was easier to succeed in this when she was able to conceal her vulnerabilities, as one needen't look far for someone eager to exploit such attachment.

Under a restrained facade lay a heavy heart, aware of the hurt she had herself caused, a heart longing to feel the freedom to choose for herself and for the love of someone who saw beneath the many faces she had assumed for others.

Inside, she had never let her fate snuff out the light of hope, but it was a secret fire, a sacred fire, and she alone was its keeper.

Even after all that had been said and done, she regarded Han as a friend. Always. He may have been reckless, but that was a luxury she would not afford herself. Not knowing the fate awaiting her, she would not condemn him to it. At least one of them had to get out of this mess alive. Otherwise, what would the struggle and all those losses have amounted to if neither found true freedom?

She shut her eyes in an attempt to keep back the tears that were now welling up.

"Chewie, please keep him safe," she whispered to herself.

Looking out of the viewport again, Savareen was now but a bright orb in the distance, and First Light was getting ready to make the jump into hyperspace. It would be a long journey – Dathomir lay all the way across the Galaxy, on the other side of the Core Worlds in the Quelli sector, about a day's travel past Mandalore.

Nearly ten days had passed when the star yacht finally dropped out of hyperspace and started its agonizing descent on Dathomir. From above, the planet looked anything but inhabitable, its ominous red glow sending out a warning to anyone that might have strayed there, only emphasized now when the crimson light of its central star penetrated the atmosphere at an angle that made it appear ablaze in a wildfire.

In her mind, Qi'ra kept editing the version of the events she wanted to present to her true master. Her betrayal of Dryden would not remain secret for long and, for all she knew, the news would likely reach him long before she did.

Crimson Dawn's operations were spreading far and wide across the galaxy. She herself had worked diligently to ensure this and make herself hard to replace. Once she had earned her position as Dryden's second in command, the latter had found himself forced to include her in the secret meetings he had with Maul. That is how she'd first learned his identity, and simultaneously found out how Dryden had reached out to him from onboard the yacht.

Her role had remained entirely passive in his presence until a few standard weeks ago. Maul had contacted her directly while Dryden had conveniently been away. He had insisted that Qi'ra report directly to him on any and all peculiarities that stood out in Dryden's dealings. The direct request to spy on her superior had come as no small surprise, but she'd known better than to analyze its significance in too much depth, for she was aware how tempting it was to overestimate it and just how grave the consequences could be. Yet, something about it wouldn't let her feel at ease.

Vos might have only been a business front for the syndicate, but the image he had built mattered a great deal. It had been carefully crafted and curated. Even as a puppet only executing orders he had received from above, Dryden was not one to be easily replaced. However illicit and shady the dealings the business relationships relied not only on fear, but required trust. Regardless of its frailty, that trust had taken time and effort to build.

By killing Vos, she had not only betrayed her commander, but undermined Crimson Dawn at large. That remained true regardless of the motivations behind Maul's request. She had pried the ring from Dryden's lifeless finger, and by doing so she had also made a choice from which there was no turning back.

And now she had come here to answer for all of it.

Every minute seemed like an uncomfortable eternity as First Light glided towards its destination. What had appeared as a flaming red orb in the vast darkness of space now had distinct continents. It wasn't long before she could already make out the terrain – alternating between lush vegetation, swamplands chasing the horizon, mountain ranges that bulked up like jagged teeth, lined up on open jaws, awaiting its prey.

Soon the craft dropped altitude, moving over the sharp peaks like a knife cutting through air. It was barely an hour past high noon, but nothing broke the red twilight reigning here. Qi'ra spotted a series of overgrown ruins, and a heaviness set into her limbs as she took in the sight. This had nothing to do with her own fate, and everything to do with the fate of Dathomir. This world itself was in mourning, and no sign of life could be found in this half-light. Something about the destruction dealt here felt so final to her. She was vaguely aware of a massacre that took place here – courtesy of the separatists – but what she saw now was the destruction of a whole people, their world and a way of life.

Her eyes rose from the ruins to meet her destination in the distance. A peak rising from the surrounding forest, casting an ominous shadow against the red sky.

"This must be it," she thought and struggled to exhale steadily.

There was nothing resembling a landing pad in sight, but she took it she had arrived in the right place when she sighted another few ships at the foot of the mountain. As the yacht approached she noticed a few guards here and there, droids scuttling about, moving cargo.

The extravagantly decorated starcraft touched down with elegant ease, barely making a sound. The effortlessness of the landing was in no way reflected in how Qi'ra felt about her arrival, but there was no going back now. She knew that she had her own part in the forging of whatever fate she had come to greet here. Any hesitation would only give away her reason for concern. Gathering her courage and trying to steady her heart, she made it to the elevator.

She walked down the ramp in cautious steps and looked up, to take in the sight. Barely registering the rest of the surroundings she felt something pulling her straight towards the massive body of rock, as if it were the center of gravity.

A facade was carved into this side of the mountain. A row of massive pillars in the shapes of women, supporting the overhanging rock above, and between them a massive stone face, its gaping mouth forming an entrance.

Upon a quick glance, there didn't seem to be anyone with the intent of engaging her. That wasn't perhaps the welcome she had expected, but a far more promising start than any of the scenarios for which she had been prepared. She felt her experience caution her all the more because of it, and the blasters hanging from her hips felt more decorative than anything as she took her first steps into the darkness.

The coldness of the air hit her suddenly as she entered the tunnel. The instincts she had tried to quieten were heightened.

"Don't you dare lose your nerve now," she muttered as she braced herself.

The light was minimal, coming from a source she could not quite determine. Her steps cautious and light, she placed one foot in front of the other so many times that she stopped paying attention to her movements or whether anyone had heard her walking. She focused entirely on scaling the darkness, rushing towards her destination. She rounded one more bend, and of a sudden there it was.

Her blue eyes took in this world within a world, lit by a glow of the same hue. She was paralyzed by the sight, weighed down by the heaviness in her chest and tugged by the invisible force that had led her down there.

The enormity of the cave was hard to gauge, expanding beyond her sight into the unknown. The tunnel had opened up to a bridge connecting it with the first of what seemed to be massive columns, broader at the base with enough room on the slopes to be built on. And so, each of those pillars was circled by three or more levels of structures, carved from the same stone comprising houses, temples and galleries, stairs, bridges and balconies all lined with lanterns unlit. The only light remaining now was that of the iridescent water, moving slowly in the glowing pools, falling in narrow streams from the darkness above, evoking eternity.

And that's when she saw him. A dark shadow outlined against the light of the water, standing in complete stillness on a leveled mass of rock in the middle of the cave. Deep in thought, with his head down and hands joined behind his back, the figure remained seemingly undisturbed by her approach as she made her way towards him with quiet resolve.

Something in the Force kept prodding at Maul, telling him to come back to the present, but his eyes remained transfixed on the iridescent pool. Whether it was some lingering remnant of Nightsister magic or the oppressing weight of everything that he hadn't yet figured out, he couldn't tear his eyes away from the water. The persistent motion seemed to him like the last bit of life left here in the wake of the massacre.

His mind was clearer now than it had been for a very long time, but he couldn't completely fight the hypnotic effect that only grew more potent the longer his gaze held it. A moment grew into several, becoming a while, growing longer. The water was like a conduit of dark energies with a will of its own, locking his mind into a downward spiral.

Whether or not he could admit it, he was still hoping to find meaning, a place, a belonging, something that would be his own, and not handed to him by any master. The thought left a bitterness on his tongue. He had believed that coming to this place one more time would show him his path. Instead, what he found was a world sunk into ruin, much like he was, reminding him everything from which he had hoped to escape.

He felt a growing irritation erupting at the thought that there was something that both he and the water had in common, both giving the apparent sense of movement when remaining stagnant. The longer he looked at it, the emptier he felt. Perhaps he too was just a dead thing, his body moving with no life left inside.

Realizing he would not find any answers here, his mind began to clear just as he sensed something else intruding into his awareness. He had detected a signature of fear without having to make any effort to read the presence, and knew instinctively whom it was. He could feel it before she'd exited her ship, but it was mixed with something else. She had not come to apologize or to beg. The woman's presence in the Force was like an electric breeze vibrating through him now that she was so close. He snapped back into the moment. She was here.

Qi'ra was already crossing the last bridge when the shadowy form slowly turned around and moved forward to meet her. There was something reflexive rising to the surface in response to Maul approaching her. Despite being expected, despite external composure and a certain awareness of what to expect of him, she had to will her legs forward.

Once she had locked her eyes onto the advancing figure, she couldn't remove them, in the same breath realizing the source of the pull. The dark form grew more distinct with each step she advanced, until she could make out the solid frame of a warrior, draped in black.

She had seen him before in holographic form, but true sight of him still came as a surprise.

The bluish glow of the surrounding water outlined a crown of sharp horns above strong cheekbones and a defined jawline, all of his features emphasized by the symmetrical tattoos covering his face, and–

But most striking of all were his eyes, flaming in amber tones. Much like his home planet, they glowed as if lit from within.

Finally standing before him, she bowed cautiously, a gesture Maul returned to her surprise. The Zabrak's expression was impossible to read with certainty, but he was struggling to hide the ongoing conflict below the surface. It seemed as if he was himself unsure how this would unfold.

To her surprise, what she saw in the eyes of the man looking down at her was neither anger nor accusation. More than anything else, it was an all-encompassing tiredness, mixed with something else she couldn't quite fathom. He was looking at her as if trying to find an answer to a question far more complex than simply inquiring about her guilt.

Qi'ra found her eyes drawn away from his unexpected gaze, making their way down across all the places where red skin met black, until they came to a halt on his chest where the golden gleam of the familiar Crimson Dawn emblem hung. No further thought fully formed before the sound of his voice pulled her from her thoughts.

"Qi'ra," she heard her name ring in a voice far too soft and mellow for someone this dangerous. This put her more on the defensive.

"Lord Maul–" she started, but found herself all out of ideas.

Suddenly she was unsure if she should remain as silent or seize the first opportunity to start justifying herself. Somehow neither felt like it would increase her chances of redeeming the fact that the public face of the syndicate was now orbiting Savareen among various other kinds of space trash.

“You’re lucky to be alive,” he said casually, putting an end to her inner monologue.

“Oh. I wasn’t there when it happened. So I wasn't really in harm's way,” Qi'ra prevaricated, regretting it instantly.

Maul gave her a look that let her know just how obvious the lie had been, equally irritated and amused, but there was something else in his expression too that she could not decipher.

“Save it for someone who doesn't have such easy access to your thoughts," he said in a dismissive tone.

"I trained him myself, in Teräs Käsi. You either surpass all expectations or were just lucky to beat him in combat."

The man's face resumed its unreadable expression.

"In any case, you are here now. That is... a relief.” His last words stretched out, as if to emphasize their generosity.

“A relief?! I–” she couldn’t hide her surprise.

Qi'ra was stunned by his overall lack of concern for Dryden's death, her role in it and her subsequent ill-advised attempt to lie about it. This was definitely not one of the scenarios that she had played through in her head.

“But... I don’t understand. You know I killed him, but you act as if I have done you a favor?”

"You did," Maul replied with resolve, furrowing his brow.

"There is a reason I contacted you directly, which I'm sure you've realized by now," Maul's tone sounding as if he was trying to distance himself somehow. He looked over her shoulder briefly, before setting his eyes back on her.

"Don't play stupid. It doesn't suit you," he replied to the question he read on Qi'ra's face. His tone was growing impatient, while his eyes retained some inexplicable understanding.

"I'm–" she began, but stopped herself as she caught his look.

"You know exactly what he was like," he continued, while turning to the water again.

"He was clever, I'll give him that. But even that came second to his greed and thirst for power. The sycophancy, it was only feigned, allowing him to move closer to real power – or so he thought – in his hubris believing that his true motivations would go unnoticed as long as he played his role and remained agreeable with me."

The corners of his mouth curled into a snarl at the thought.

"He may have been the face of the operation, but he was a greedy fool, arrogantly believing that he would be so easily trusted, in return for ass-kissing."

The Zabrak's face contorted into a grimace that was split between a smirk and heartfelt disgust.

"In time he only grew bolder, but not a single one of his indiscretions remained a secret to me. I also have you to thank. You may have betrayed him, but that doesn't necessarily mean that you have betrayed me."

Qi'ra was unable to look at him, but she could feel him fixed on her.

"I trust you will make better decisions in the future," he concluded.

Maul felt mighty foolish, registering just how out of the norm this was for him, a fact he took no comfort in. Not at the idea that he'd allow someone to prove their worth and loyalty, but that he hadn't even properly considered the risks such a chance would entail and whether it was really worth his gamble.

He was trying to remember what exactly had led him to believe that this was a good idea, giving her a chance to prove herself to be smarter than Vos. Would she not have learned from Dryden's obvious mistakes and perhaps succeed where her former boss had failed? The thought gnawed at him.

Why did he even want her to be loyal to him? Though she had been Dryden's lieutenant, and though she may have shown greater loyalty to him than to that greedy piece of filth, in the greater scheme of things she remained of no apparent importance.

He had somehow arrived at an answer that felt obvious, and yet, why exactly it was, he really couldn't say. Salvaging her from this ordeal, he thought, was something he would have once considered simply done out of laziness. What other purpose could she serve that would amount to more than it already had?

But she had come, after all. She had contacted him straight away. She was afraid, and he could tell just how much, but she had braved that fear and met him face-to-face. Something about that was tugging at him. He cringed ever so slightly when he realized what that feeling was.

At some point he had started pacing but was so caught up in his thoughts that it took him a moment to notice his movements. When he did, he turned around so suddenly that it made the titanium bearings in his cybernetic knees release a cutting sound that came unexpectedly to them both.

Maul caught her looking at his most recent pair of feet that peeked out from under his long cape. Despite her best efforts, she could not hide her reaction from him but, to his surprise, it was neither disgust nor pity that he saw reflected in her face. If anything, she looked saddened, something else he was not prepared for.

The man's eyes dropped to the ground between them and he stood there for a moment with a perplexed look on his face. He had just realized how he would test her loyalty.

"There's somewhere I have to go, and you will be coming with me. Pack what you need, we're leaving shortly and won't return for a while," he announced after a moment of silence.

⸻

If you have reached here, I sincerely hope you have enjoyed reading the story so far. In case you would like to keep reading:

Chapters 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | ...

#Maul #Darth Maul #Qi'ra #Maura #Maul x Qi'ra #fic #my writing #SLSF #i mean Maul's only half-human so technically this checks out...

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tfw-needs-baby · 4 years

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silent |sastiel| chap.1

read on ao3?

The kid sitting two seats behind him somehow managed to outsilent Castiel.

He never spoke, kept his head down in his books and whenever someone would try and approach him, he would flinch violently and move his seat far away as possible. Which wasn’t really far, really. Castiel would often find himself glaring at the kid, who was too busy doodling in that dirty red notebook covered with smelly stickers.

Apparently, his name was Samuel. Sure, Castiel never really spoke either and was more of the observant type, simply learning equations by just watching the example, but at least his class knew he had a soft, mild voice. And from that point on, Castiel swore he would get the kid one way to talk or another.

And make him his friend.

They probably had a lot in common with one another. Just, if he also knew what those similarities were, then he would go out of his way to make himself like it too. Would that make him seem desperate?

Getting advice from his siblings was a terrible idea.He had gotten advice from his older brother, Lucifer, who told him the best way to get someone’s attention is to start pulling on their pigtails.

Sam didn’t have any pigtails, and Lucifer smacked himself on the face, making Castiel much more confused.

‘Just start bothering them, bit by bit. You’ll grab their attention.’

Michael was a bit better than his younger brother. ‘You have to bribe them into liking you, Castiel. Shower them with what they like, and they’ll certainly stay with you until you decide to drop them or they no longer serve their purpose.’

Nope. Just as bad.

‘Spoil them.’ Gabriel held out a spoon for his little brother to lick, and Castiel grabbed it eagerly, popping it into his mouth. ‘That’s all you have to do, baby brother.’

Raphael almost killed her brothers two hours later when she heard the ridiculous advice they gave the youngest sibling. Castiel was babbling about needing money and what job’s he could possibly find as a sixteen-year-old and going as far as thinking about cutting off the poor child’s hair.

“Castiel,” Raphael approached cautiously, patting the empty spot next to her on the hammock underneath one of the willow trees. “How badly do you like this girl?”

“It’s not a girl, Raphael. It’s a boy, and he’s always so quiet and never utters a word.” He complained, and she rolled her eyes.

“Well, doesn’t that sound a lot like someone I know.” She said, and passed Castiel a soft smile.

“Who?” He asked, and Raphael sagged. “No, really, who?”

“Nothing, Castiel. Why don’t we just go with the cliche advice and just be yourself around this boy?”

The youngest Novak tugged down his sleeves. “But what if he doesn’t like the real me?”

“Well, then he isn’t worth it. Simple as that.”

🌻

Of course, Castiel was only a highschooler at the time, so it wasn’t like he was actually going to listen to Raphael. What did she even know that he didn’t?

Michael’s advice was simply terrible. He had no idea what Sam was even into, so one day he approached his desk and slammed his book shut, glaring down at him. The boy flinched violently, fear in his eyes and he looked like he was two seconds away from crying.

Crap. “Sorry, did I scare you? I didn’t mean to, I swear, I just wanted to ask you something.”

Sam still stayed in the same position he was in. “What do you like?” He asked, and Sam raised an eyebrow before pointing towards himself. “Yes, you. There’s no one else here.”

Startling Castiel, the kid jumped out of his seat grabbing his bookbag and zipping it up quickly before dashing out of the classroom. He sighed, grabbing a chair and sat down sadly, wondering where he went wrong. Did he come off too aggressive? Did his voice scare him off? Was he too ugly?

“Castiel.” Michael snapped his younger brother out of his thoughts and the younger Novak glared at him. “You have a next class to attend, if I’m not mistaken?” “What are you doing here?” He shot back, and the eldest Novak controlled his urge to roll his eyes.

“Castiel, this is my next class.” “Well, I took your dumb advice, and it didn’t work out at all. I asked him what he liked, and he ran away from me. Is it...is it me?” “No, it isn’t you. Maybe he was late or something, because he forgot this.” Michael hands him a red notebook covered in stickers and he immediately recognizes it, because that’s Sam’s notebook. Sam left his notebook behind, which means - “You can give it back to him tomorrow.”

Castiel’s neck flushes red in embarrassment, because he had no idea he was saying all of that out loud, but he has a chance of becoming friends with him. But why wait until tomorrow when he can catch him now? He runs outside, down the staircase and into the field, looking around for Sam when he catches sight of a dirty yellow backpack. “Sam!” Castiel shouts, but he gets no response and he almost skins his knees because of a couple lying peacefully in the grass. “Sam!”

Still no answer. However, he starts running himself towards a black, sleek vintage car where a dusty blond boy is standing as he wraps his arm around Sam’s shoulder grinning, ruffling his hair a bit. Castiel stops running then, because it’s clear that Sam already has a friend, someone who isn’t him. He tries not to feel hurt over that. 🌻

Note to self: never, ever follow Lucifer’s advice unless approved by another sibling [who isn’t Gabriel.]

Castiel sit’s right behind Sam the next day, and it definitely throws him off guard. He throws a crumpled paper that was supposed to be classwork right at him, and Sam turns around with a confused look on his face. “My bad.” He grins, leaning back in his chair - almost to fall right afterward. Sam rolls his eyes. Then it was a pencil hitting his head, then kicking his bag over so all his paperwork spilled out, then throwing a full gum packet which earned him another confused look. Castiel shrugged. Reaching out and pulling Sam’s hair, yanking it back that you heard his neck crack was a completely different story.

Sam jumped out of his chair, furiously grabbed his belongings and walked right out of the classroom.

Damnit.

🌻

So now Castiel was, two days later back in his regular seat, feeling terrible. Sam wouldn’t even make eye contact with him, and when he had gathered all his courage to ask to sit next to him during lunch he flat out ignored him. He waited until the end of the period once more where Sam hadn’t gotten the cue to leave the classroom and was busy marking up a new black and white spiral notebook. Crap, he had forgotten to grab Sam’s notebook from his nightstand.

“Sam?” He tapped his shoulder, making Sam look up and earning a glare from him. “I just wanted to apologize for my actions, I know I’ve been a huge dick lately but I wanted to make it up to you.”

Sam flicks his pencil, a gesture to get on with it. “Here.” Castiel shoves a box of chocolates in front of him, and Sam sighs, gathering his belongings once more. “What - you’re such an asshole!” He shouts. Snatching his bag, he roughly pushes Sam aside like he’s a pile of sticks.

Big mistake. What Castiel hadn’t expected was for Sam to put him into a choke-hold, grunting something out that was far from english. Michael’s walking into the room, and the moment he sees his brother pinned down he attack’s Sam, yanking his arm off as Castiel rolls to the side, gasping for air. He hears someone being roughly slammed into the wall, and Sam’s being punched right in the face, and Michael drops him onto the floor after a couple good punches - big mistake. Sam dropkicks Michael, putting him right into a thigh chokehold, yanking on his hair and yelling out a stop that seems so broken and gruff. Dean walks into the room then, snatching up Sam quickly away from Michael and jumping onto him and while the older two fight, Sam’s crying softly and Castiel doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t know when or how, but Lucifer manages to grab Michael off of Dean who's ready to fight, two teachers having to hold Dean back from trying to attack the eldest Novak. The five of them are led to the principal's office, some old scruffy looking man takes away Sam and Dean while Chuck comes in and picks up his sons. “Well?” Chuck asks Castiel, who's silent in the backseat. “I never expected you to get in a fight. What happened?”

“I tried to make a friend.” He replies, fiddling with the collar of his shirt. “I don’t think a kid putting you in a chokehold is exactly best-friend behavior, Cassie.” Gabriel replies, who is busy playing cards with Lucifer in the front seat. “I know -” “You also know the kid is deaf, right?” Lucifer says, and Castiel looks shocked. “Cas, you’ve got to be kidding me. You didn’t know that?” “I - no - oh.” He stammers, because that explains everything. “No wonder he never responded to me.” “You do know you’re going to have to apologize, right?” Michael says, hissing when Gabriel pokes his bruised ribs.

“I know.” 🌻

Sam comes back to school a week later, sitting in the same seat as he normally does. Still drawing in some random notebook, ignoring everyone else around him. He’s tapping his foot impatiently, ready for the class to end, for the day to be over already. At the end of the class, however, he’s expecting another fight with Castiel and he seems ready to go when Castiel signs:

‘I’m sorry.’

Now that throws Sam way off guard.

Castiel passes him his red notebook, and his face immediately brightens up. He’s signing something fast, and Castiel doesn’t know anything else besides that, so he takes Sam’s hands into his, looking into his eyes. They’re green mixed with hazel-grown and flecks of gold. “Too fast.” He says, and Sam smiles, opening to a new page and writing their names in neat script. Apparently Sam knew his name. “Wait - you know my name?” Castiel says, and Sam smiles. “Ca’tiel.” Sam murmurs, and he gasps. “So you do know my name! Can we be friends?” He asks, and Sam nods his head eagerly. “Ca’tiel. Jerk. Friend.” He quickly connects his pinkies back and forth.

It makes Castiel swell with happiness.

#sastiel #eventually #sam winchester #dean winchester #high school!au #castiel #michael #gabriel #lucifer #raphael #deaf!sam #representation week #chuck shurley #john winchester

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txladyj-blog · 4 years

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Chapter 12 - This Time Around

A Daryl Dixon x OFC collaboration written by @xmistressmistrustx

Rating: Explicit

Relationship: Daryl Dixon/Original Female Character

Tags: Friendship, Friends to Lovers, Awkwardness, Awkward Flirting, Awkward Crush, Fluff and Humor, Angst and Humor, Mild Smut, Strong Language, Eventual Sex, Eventual Romance, Slow Burn, Canon Divergence, Some Canon Scenes and Dialogue

Chapters 19/?

A daily routine had become commonplace for Jess in order to preserve her sanity and to prevent her from overthinking and dwelling on the lives she’d taken, the people she’d lost and the one person she couldn’t help but think of when she was alone. He angered her. Who did he think he was? How dare he still consume her thoughts. Even when he wasn’t in front of her, walking through Alexandria or sat on his front porch where he smoked or watched the world go by with baby Judith, he was still bothering her. Her mind was fraught with mixed emotions. She missed him, she hated him, she cared about him and the thing that irritated her the most, was her constant need to be near him.

She didn’t know if he had any idea who she was but his abrupt and rude treatment of her was telling enough. Even if he had a clue, he couldn’t be sure and to him, she was still the strange, quiet woman in the mask that he had very little trust in. But as with most things, time began to mend the sharp, jagged shards of the relationship between them and after three weeks, they barely uttered a word to one another unless they were forced to work together on something for Deanna. Basic conversation and one-word answers were accepted as the limit of their interaction but the more time Jess spent near him, the more she felt the raging urge to reveal who she really was.

The snappy remarks ceased but the suspicious glares continued and with each time she felt his eyes on her, she felt the rising anxiety in her chest. The same anxiety that she felt back at the quarry, fueled by her intense crush on him. That was something else that angered her; how he’d somehow managed to go to hell and back and come out better looking for it. Jess had lost weight, there was no if’s and but’s about it, but that meant little when all of the same insecurities remained. Hiding behind armor and a mask meant that although it couldn’t be seen, she still felt them like a blade to her skin.

Part of her daily routine was to clear the Walkers from around the town’s walls. Small numbers gathered, attracted to noise from the gate and the houses on the inside. Once she’d done a clean sweep, she’d pick off any animals that could be used for food. Killing Walkers was probably Jess’s forte in life now, born from endless days of working her way through a city looking for food and supplies in order to live another day. She used the wanderers in the streets as daily practice, much like she still did with the Walkers around the walls through a reluctance to become complacent. Ben provided her with her one on one, Walker killing training while the corpses gathered below, waiting for the next noise to follow were where she gained enough skill to deal with more than one at once. She’d made mistakes, almost got herself killed once or twice, dropped her weapons, been bitten and thanked the stars above that she had armor covering her forearm at the time. But through her mistakes she prevailed, improved and learned valuable lessons. The main one being to never become backed into a corner.

She flicked her Machete towards the floor, dispelling the coagulated blood from the blade. It painted a dark, crimson, dotted line in the dust as she walked over it, attaching the weapon to her belt and arming her bow. For the past week, she’d noticed the numbers of squirrels and rabbits declining. Walkers were only able to capture a certain amount due to their lumbering frames and clumsiness and so, the decreasing numbers pointed to one thing; their habitat was changing and they were not breeding as rapidly as before. That morning, she’d only seen one squirrel which had managed to escape as purely a matter of timing, it had seen her before she’d spotted it. She tilted her head back, squinting in the sun as the small animal raced across the branches and she considered that there would be no squirrel stew for at least a week at this rate. Lowering her vision, she froze when a figure emerged from the trees in her path.

Daryl lowered his crossbow, the desire to point sharp weapons or firearms at her now all but a distant memory, although her snarky attitude and standoffish responses to his necessary conversations when they were forced to work together prodded at his temper. She was infuriating, impossible but still fascinating.

She also let her bow drop and her shoulders relaxed. She continued along her path, undeterred by his presence, as she approached him, he backed up and they circled around one another with a split second of eye contact that Jess quickly put a stop to. As he turned and ambled away from her, the image of his angel winged vest consumed her with nostalgia and memories of days spent in the woods, learning from him and admiring his courage and strength. Nights sitting a top of the RV, sharing playful digs at one another and enjoying comfortable silences. Her heart lurched and she grit her teeth under her mask.

Why can’t I hate you?

“You won’t find any animals this close to the walls.” She called out to him. He stopped and she picked up on him nod, almost to himself. As if he was expecting some kind of comment. “If the Walkers don’t get them, I do and their numbers are declining.”

Daryl shifted to face her and slung his crossbow over his shoulder. The muscular terrain of his arm as it held onto the strap sent a wave of annoyance through her.

You’re stronger than this. Stop looking at him like that.

“You hunt” He grunted. An obvious statement. He knew she hunted; he knew she hunted because Deanna asked her to. But he wanted to hear it from her.

“Every morning. I’m not as good as you.” She expressed. “You’re an exceptional tracker. It’s very impressive.”

The compliment had left her lips before she’d had time to register it. Like some kind if default setting that couldn’t be changed. There was no lie in her observations, Daryl was excellent at what he did and as he was an intuitive and effective tracker, Jess’s abilities were in moving, unseen and observing. Having spent so long in the city and sharing it with thousands of Walkers, she’d become adept at slinking through the darkness and becoming nothing but a faint echo. It minimized her need to fight and allowed her to pass by some groups of survivors without them ever knowing she was there. Daryl shifted his weight from one leg to the other, his expression bemused.

“How do you know that?” He asked.

Jess shrugged, outwardly collected but inwardly raging with nerves at such a frank and spontaneous chat. She had not planned this and cursed herself for following her heart and not her head. She fiddled with the arrow in her hand, twirling the thin piece of wood between her fingers and tapping it against her thigh. When she saw his vision drop to her nervous display, she immediately ceased moving and hoped he wouldn’t remember how she used to tap her thigh when she was nervous from before.

“I’ve seen you.”

“Right. Yeah. You see everything, don’t ya?” He commented in a tone laced with disapproval.

“You’re a good tracker. I’m a good ghost.” She reasoned.

He grunted and lifted his other hand which reached up and rubbed at the back of his shoulder. Already in turmoil over what to say or not say next and in the middle of figuring out how she felt about delivering such a sudden compliment to him, she turned, sighed loudly and walked ahead.

“Thanks” He said loudly “For the compliment”

Slowly but surely, Daryl’s guard was diminishing and he was starting to believe that the masked ghost of Alexandria wasn’t actually out to hurt anyone. Logic told him that if her intentions had indeed been of malice, he would have seen some death and destruction by now and all he’d really seen was how hard she worked to maintain her end of the deal she had with Deanna. As he’d stopped making snappy remarks to her, in turn, she’d followed suit, although she was still very much an ice queen. He shook his head and half smiled when he saw her raise a hand as she walked away, gesturing to him that she’d heard him.

An hour later and Jess’s efforts had turned up two rabbits that wouldn’t go further than feeding one household for lunch. Alexandria had its rations, tins and non-perishables that were reserved and only given out in accordance with strict distribution rules that were made to be fair and just for all. But when the town had enough meat, food went further. Dishes could be made in bulk and collected from the pantry each afternoon and Jess admittedly felt a sense of pride when she was able to bring back something as big as a buck. But it had been a long time since she’d acquired such a prize and now, with Daryl’s hunting expertise, she could only hope that he would have more luck than her. But not too much, she didn't want to be shown up, after all.

After pausing briefly to adjust to the heat, footsteps in the distance rendered her motionless, she strained to hear, turning her ear to the direction the steps echoed from. Then, the sounds of panting and panicked scuffing on the ground. She sprang to her feet, readying her bow and charging through the trees, branches whipped at her legs and torso, the result dulled by her thick, now mainly leather armor. As she drew closer, she could see a Walker staggering around in a clearing, grappling with a live human who was grunting and trying to show it away. Her mouth dropped open inside her mask when it occurred to her that she knew the person.

She raised her bow, lining up the dead man's head as a target and steadied her breathing. It had to be a good shot, not one of her lesser, slightly off target attempts. The man's clothing caught her eye. The same maintenance uniform that Ben had been wearing back at her apartment in the city. But it wasn't the time for reminiscing. She breathed out slowly, releasing the string and hearing the sickening thud of the arrow embedding itself into the side of the Walkers head. It stepped back and dropped, revealing a red-faced and breathless Carl scrambling backwards across the ground and throwing up dead leaves as he moved. Jess slowly approached him, checking on the lifeless Walker crumpled on the floor first. It was a rule of her own, always double check the bodies. She’d learned the hard way while training with her bow that while a shot my seem as though it’s worked, the arrow may not penetrate the softened skull enough to cause trauma to the brain, meaning the Walker still moves and can still get up. She looked down at the terrified boy at her feet and held out her hand.

“What are you doing outside the walls, kid?” She demanded.

“I saw a girl climb over. I was looking for her… to see if she’s OK.” He rambled as he gripped her hand and allowed her to help him to his feet. He dusted off his clothes and Jess plucked a leaf from his sheriff’s hat.

Still wearing daddy’s hat.

“Enid .” She said bluntly.

Carl startled at the sound of the girl’s name.

“Yeah, how do you-?” He started

“-She’s fine. I’ll walk you to the gate.”

Jess was performing one of her earlier clear ups of the area around the walls when she’d first noticed Enid scale the high structure and drop down the other side. It had only been a week since Jess agreed with Deanna to trial an understanding between them and in that week she’d gathered a lot of information about certain people. Enid being one of them. It was obvious the girl was traumatized and trying to work through some heavy issues, much like Jess was when she’d settled in the safety of her city apartment. She understood the need for space and so spent time keeping a watchful eye over the teenager as she found a spot in the woods and settled, needing to just…be.

It wasn’t in Jess’s plan to get caught looking out for Enid, more it was a clumsy accident when she tripped over one of her own snare traps and looked up to find the girl staring at her in horror. Jess shoved away her own embarrassment and cleared her throat.

“I get why you need to be out here sometimes.”

Was all she said and within seconds it was like an unwritten contract that passed between them. Enid could leave the town whenever she wanted and as long as she didn’t take any unnecessary risks or venture too far, Jess would watch over her.

Carl suddenly stopped, dropping back from Jess who slowly turned her head to see him stood still with his hands in his pockets, his eyes bright and confidently trained on hers.

“You still think Dr Strange can fix all this?”

Jess’s entire body flooded with dread. Shit. He knows.

“I knew it was you on the road. I just didn’t say anything.”

An involuntary whoosh of air left her lungs and she almost buckled over. If Carl had figured it out so soon, then who else was in possession of such knowledge and keeping it to themselves? Was her entire plan blown? Would she have to come clean to everyone? To Daryl? She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, composing herself and standing back up straight.

“Who else have you told?” She questioned.

“Nobody.” He replied as he kicked dried leaves around with his sneaker.

“Keep it that way.” She ordered.

Carl surged towards her, his hands now shooting up from his pockets and into the air beside him.

“Why?! They will be so happy to see you!”

Jess flinched away, almost with disgust at a big family reunion where everyone fake smiled and pretended everything was perfect because it wasn’t perfect, it was far from it. No one missed her and she didn’t matter. She knew that much. So, what was the point in any of them knowing?

Then there was Daryl. For old times sake, for all the good times they had, she wanted him to know the truth. But a simple, overheard sentence and a lack of action to defend her reminded her that he didn’t even care about her in the first place, so why would it be any different over a year later?

“No one is happy to see me, Carl. I’ve found a way of surviving that suits me. No ties, no emotional manipulation. Just me. You need to stay out of the woods. It’s not safe. Come on.” She told him, carrying on towards the gate.

“No!” he yelled at her. “You need to tell them! You don’t know what we’ve been through, we need this. This is good news. We need good news. You’re alive. All this time we thought you were dead.” Jess stared at him in shock. Not only was he yelling at her, he was trying to make her believe that any of them cared about her enough to actually be happy she was there. “What about Daryl? He was your friend and I know he’d be happy to see you. He looked for you!”

“You don’t know anything, Carl. Not really.” She mumbled sadly.

“I’m not a kid anymore, Jess. I had to grow up pretty fast. Please, tell them who you are.” He pleaded.

“I’ll think about it. Now move before I have to knock you out and drag you back by your arm.”

Silenced by her stubbornness and flat refusal to follow his request, he stomped along behind her, dragging his feet and looking up at their surroundings every now and then for any sight of the girl he’d followed over the wall.

“So…Enid…” He mentioned warily, hearing Jess sigh loudly. She wasn’t going to get away with offering no explanation as to how she knew her and could be so certain that she was safe enough.

“She comes out here sometimes. She’s used to being on the outside, sometimes she just needs it to keep her sane. You don’t need to follow her. I keep an eye on her.” She explained.

“You two friends?”

“No. We have this unspoken rule, that’s all.”

“Do you have any friends?” Carl continued.

Jesus, kid. Easy with the questions.

Feeling her temper fray, she told herself that Carl was inquisitive and curious, the world around him had changed at a rapid pace and humanity itself was changing, becoming worse in some areas and there was no doubt he was going to have questions about near enough everything. Right at that moment, his attention was focused solely on the dramatic change in Jess.

“I told you. I don’t have ties to anyone or anything.” She replied.

From her peripheral vision, she saw his curiosity step up to the next level as he sped up and began walking at the same pace to gain a better view of her armor and weapons. It was just Carl, but she was still self-conscious, not that she would ever show it on the outside.

“You got pretty badass.” He commented with a pursed lip and a nod. “That mask is cool. You sound totally different. What is that? Army issue or something? You have a kinda Mad Max thing going on.”

Her head slowly worked to the side and she raised an impressed eyebrow at him.

“Your dad let you watch Mad Max?” She asked.

“No” He grinned.

Jess stopped walking and looked down her nose at him. He could tell she was smiling behind her mask, his own grin staying put.

“That’s cool, I’ll take that. Thanks, Man.” She chuckled, gently punching him playfully on the shoulder. For the first time in a long time, a glimmer of the old Jess worked it’s way through her iron defenses and reveled in a moment of humor and jest with Carl. The connection to who she really was became stronger the more she observed Carl smiling brightly back at her.

“You look different. Good different.” He stated

“What are you, like a teenager now?” She queried as she slowly carried on towards the gate. He took the hint and walked by her side.

“Just turned Thirteen.”

“Thirteen, huh? No wonder you’re chasing girls through the woods.” She quipped.

“It’s-it’s not like that. I-”

“It’s a joke, Carl. Chill your beans.”

The rest of the morning heralded hardly any results for Jess as she slogged through the high temperatures, desperately trying to find something else she could present as food. But the area seemed to be stripped bare and she began to convince herself that if the community was to continue to thrive, it needed to widen its geographical hunting area.

As she waited by the gate for the guard to signal down, Daryl emerged from in between two derelict houses with a large deer draped over his shoulders and his crossbow swinging from one of his hands by his side. Sweat covered his arms, chest and face and she figured he’d carried it through the thick heat from some distance away.

By comparison, Jess felt about two inches tall as she waited patiently with her two rabbits hanging on string from her grip. Humiliation flooded through her and she let out a long and seething breath while Daryl stood next to her and squinted at the argument that ensued behind the gate, where man and woman were shamelessly debating who’s turn it was to be on the gate while the two hunters lingered on the other side.

Jess attempted to throw a casual glance Daryl’s way. To be able to see her past the hulking deer across his broad shoulders he had to turn his torso.

“Nice white tail.” She commented in an attempt to brush off her embarrassment at her feeble prize.

“Thanks” He remarked in reply. “Nice cotton tails”

Behind her mask, Jess smiled.

Asshole.

Daryl sucked both lips into his mouth, stifling a smirk and turning his body to face the gate again. As the couple behind the barrier began to escalate their fight, Jess and Daryl stood side by side. The need to explain herself was overwhelming. She presented herself as capable and smart and now, he was going to think that she’d spent all morning hunting and only turned up with two small game. It was true, but she didn’t want him to think that.

“I had a bad morning.” She said quietly.

“OK” he nodded, now failing to hide his smile which Jess had picked up on when from the corner of her eye when he swayed slightly with the deer, revealing a decent view of his face. She heard the gate lock release and strode forwards, slipping through the gap on the way to the pantry and making sure she put a decent distance in between them before she let herself chuckle quietly at the situation.

That’s the last time I compliment his tracking skills.

* *

Deanna’s first house meeting with the new group was organized with the main point on the agenda being to find out how everyone was settling in after almost three weeks in their new homes. She asked for updates with all of their jobs, ideas to improve the town and revised the security detail after Rick pointed out that an unmanned rifle up in the watchtower was going to do diddly squat to deter any potentially hostile groups of survivors.

Jess usually didn’t bother with Deanna’s meetings. Preferring to hang around until they finished and take the chance to catch up with the town’s leader on a one to one basis. A weekly report was all Deanna asked of her. Walker numbers around the community, any sightings of live people they should be concerned about, hunting success or lack thereof. Then, Jess would bid her farewell and go back to her daily routine which, after her morning perimeter walks and hunting was mainly hers to do with as she pleased. Most of her time was spent at her fairground home, which she used as her haven away from the world. She’d worked hard on it and over the weeks it had become more than comfortable, it was cozy and she couldn’t think of a single reason why she would ever want to leave it.

As she hopped up the steps of Deanna’s front porch, she picked fur and dried blood from her gloves, so engrossed in her task that she failed to notice the room full of people she casually walked into when she entered the living room. Her eyes slowly rose from her gloves to the many shoes and boots in front of her. Then, up to the 13 or so strong group that filled the room. The quiet was deafening and if she wasn’t wearing a hood and mask, her alarm would have been all the more evident.

“Ah. Parker! Please come in. We were just discussing how everyone was settling in” Deanna cried enthusiastically. “Won’t you sit?”

“Right. No. I’m good here.” Jess quickly dismissed, backing up to the nearest wall and using it for support.

“Would you like to tell everyone what your role is here?”

Not really.

“Um… I keep the perimeter clear of Walkers. I don’t live here. I have my own land at a Fairground around ten minutes’ walk from here and you’d all do well to keep your distance. I shoot anyone that steps foot past my fences without permission. There are traps, snares and explosives around my home. So, you stay on your side, and I’ll stay on mine.”

Blank faces peered back at her from around the room, all but Carl who was grinning from ear to ear. Jess avoided his gaze as best she could, knowing that his beaming face would shatter her thin composure. Jess saw Abraham let out a quiet chuckle and shake his head. He leaned over to the woman beside him, Rosita and whispered into her ear. Hardly a lip-reading genius, Jess was still sure she witnessed him say ‘She’s a firecracker.” Rosita who couldn’t have looked more unimpressed shot him a death glare before rolling her eyes.

“That wasn’t quite the explanation I had in mind but, thank you.” Deanna said awkwardly.

At the back of the room, Aaron smirked and Eric nudged him in the ribs. They were used to Jess’s blunt and bossy attitude more than most after having spent more time with her than anyone else. But the fact that she was softer and more relaxed with them behind closed doors was not lost on them. They considered it a privilege, even if she was still a huge mystery to them.

Almost forgetting the reason she’d turned up at the house in the first place, Jess stepped forwards and summoned up the courage to speak before lifting a hand and making sure her mask was securely in place.

“I have a request.” She announced at Deanna, who nodded graciously and allowed her to continue. “My truck is broken and I need to travel further outside of the safe zone in order to hunt and bring back more food. The numbers of animals around here is dwindling, the Walkers are getting some of them but it seems the others just aren’t breeding. I’d like to suggest the building of pens and cages to house animals that can be bred.”

“That’s a good idea.” Rick added, “We need to think long term. We just need more land.” Carol nodded in agreement from his side on the couch and scribbled something down in a notebook she was holding.

“Deanna, could we maybe move the walls further out somehow?” Aaron offered.

Deanna studied the faces of everyone that had spoken, her mind ticking over so obviously that no one else dared to interrupt. Jess was pleased at the reaction to her idea, initially thinking it would be ignored or brushed to the side like she always used to be. Back before the turn.

“It’s possible. But it will take a lot of work and the risks of the danger outside during the process are great.” Deanna explained.

“We can help. Build temporary pens for now. In fact, I’ll oversee it.” Rick offered.

“Me too.” Abraham agreed.

Jess noticed more and more people nodding, willing to lend a hand. Deanna’s eyes fixed on her.

“Parker, you know the rules-”

“-Oh, don’t give me that, Deanna. I’ll be fine.” Jess scoffed to the surprise of everyone else. Her attitude towards Deanna was always respectful, but bordering on exasperated due to having to follow so many rules and regulations. She admired her as a leader, how she had this grand vision of how she wanted the community to be, how they would become totally self-sustainable and completely protected. It was all castles in the sky to Jess, but she had to give her credit for her dream.

“We do not allow anyone to venture outside of the safe zone surrounding this town on their own. Every time we have in the past, we’ve lost someone.” Deanna reminded her.

“Yeah, well I’m not just ‘anyone’. I lived out there alone for a long time. You can make an exception to this rule.” Jess argued.

Alexandria’s rules grated on Jess at first. She’d refused to give up her bow and Deanna let it slide, reasoning that as she looked after their security, she needed it. But Jess was expected to abide by the geographical boundaries established by Deanna and her late husband. She believed they kept people safe and out of the sights of any dangerous, rival groups. It also meant that deaths by Walkers were kept to a minimum and anyone that wanted to cross the boundaries was required to do so in the company of another person, disclose fully the position on the map they would occupy and a time frame for their trip. Like everyone else, Deanna was tired of losing people and felt each death like it was personal to her. So, the rules were upheld and it was something she was not going to budge on.

“Parker, you are an exception to a lot of our rules, you know that. I allow you to come and go as you please with that bow and that blade and I say nothing. But I can’t sway on this one. You have become too valuable to this community. We can’t lose you.”

Jess huffed and shook her head, painfully away from the room of eyes all pointed at her.

“You can go and I will agree for you to take one of the trucks. But you will take someone else with you.”

“For god sakes.” Jess complained under her breath. “You know I can-”

“-I’ll go.” Daryl interrupted from the window ledge. Until that point, Jess wasn’t even aware he was in the room. He’d said nothing and simply observed as things unfolded around him. Until something piqued his interest.

“Mr. Dixon, that is kind of you.” Deanna smiled.

“Seriously?” Jess sighed. “I don’t need a fucking babysitter.”

“Language, please, Parker.” Deanna scolded.

“I know this terrain. We go out, get some animals. Get it done. Sooner the better, seasons changin’.” Daryl expressed

“Then you have my approval. The two of you can take one of the large trucks from the street. You’ll have to rig it up with straps and cages, or any animals you catch will be battered to death by the time you get back. Take the appropriate weapons from Olivia in the armory and please give me a rough idea of when you intend to return.”

“Jesus” Jess hissed under her breath.

What have I got myself into?!

Daryl got up from the windowsill and caught Rick’s eye. Jess could hear a quiet conversation about what animals they were likely to find and be able to trap and how much space would be needed while everyone else in the room began to converse amongst themselves before gradually filtering out of the room.

Jess found herself stalking across the street, put out by Daryl’s intervention and having to accept that she would be spending at least an entire day with him if not longer. It meant she would not be able to remove her mask or hood for the duration of the trip and conversation would be kept basic.

She recoiled and whirled around when someone tugged at the leather bracer on one of her forearms. Carl was standing before her, his hands up and open, signaling he hadn’t anticipated such a strong reaction.

“Sorry” He apologized.

“It’s fine. What do you want?” She snapped. He moved closer to her, taking a brief glimpse over both shoulders to make sure the group were a safe distance away. They were now filtering back towards their homes and duties.

“Why didn’t you tell them? That was the perfect opportunity.” He wanted to know.

Frustration welled in her chest and for a moment she turned her body away, needed to compose herself so she didn’t explode at the kid in the middle of the street. The sun beat down on his tatty sheriffs’ hat and his big eyes pleaded with her. It was tempting and that was what was starting to get to her.

“I never agreed to tell them in the first place. Let it go, Carl.” She retorted, stepping away from him. He moved to the side, blocking her path and challenging her, she blinked at him in disbelief.

“At least tell Daryl when you go to get the animals. You’ll be alone with him. It’s perfect.”

Jess leaned down to him, inches from his face and jabbed a finger at his chest.

“No, Carl.” She growled.

Carl, undeterred by her resistance and even more determined than ever, noticed Daryl approach from behind her and deliberately raised his voice.

“Just tell Daryl!” He cried.

“Tell me what?” Daryl’s voice from behind her almost pushed her off the edge. Now clinging to the last threads of her temper, she grit her teeth and stepped back with both of them in her view.

“Uh…That you’re gonna have to keep up so I can keep an eye on you.” She lied.

Daryl looked confused for a moment as a memory hit him out of the blue. He was in the woods with Jess, back at the Quarry, teaching her how to survive. He’d used the exact same phrase. He shook his head, trying to shake away the longing he still felt for her sometimes. Longing for a conversation with her again, for her understanding of who he was, for her tuneful giggle at his attempt at humor. He hated thinking about her now, it only brought sadness and regret. He wished he didn’t think about her at all. But he did. Every single day.

“Ain't no danger of that.” He corrected, pushing away his thoughts of before. “Deanna gave me this.” He held up a map. “Should talk about where we’re gonna hit.”

Carl nudged Jess in the arm and shot her wink before he walked away. Daryl caught the small gesture but paid it no mind, It had come to his attention that she was more willing to talk to everyone else than she was to him. Abraham seemed to happily receive any humorous remarks she made, Carl apparently had some kind of private joke with her, Aaron and Eric’s house was where she slept some nights and Deanna was the only one that could order her around and get away with it.

“OK. Fine. I’ll meet you on your front porch in ten minutes.” She told him. She hadn’t even realized that her legs were already taking her in the opposite direction. A subconscious reaction that meant she needed to put some distance in between them even just for a few minutes before she had to resume the pretense that she didn’t know him from Adam and that she wasn’t altogether maddened by his volunteering to be a part of her mission. If she was honest with herself, the flicker of excitement in the pit of her stomach refused to simmer down and she knew she would be forced to sit with the conflict through the entire trip.

- - - - - - - -

Daryl spent more time on the front porch than inside the house and he spent more time outside in the woods than inside with the community. Always an outcast wherever he was. He frequently sought solace in being alone, something he’d been more than comfortable with since he was a child.

Some nights consisted of carving bolts and sharpening his hunting knives, readying himself for the next hunt. Others were less intentional and a pack of smokes and a shallow tumbler of hard liquor was the only thing he had to occupy himself. In the early evenings, he’d sit with Judith on his lap and read to her. A past time he’d grown fond of and didn’t expect to enjoy as much as he did. Try as he might, he couldn’t understand why Judith appeared to fall into a fascinated silence as soon as he opened the book, but it was the one part of the day that Carol, Carl and Rick got to pass her onto her ‘Uncle Daryl’ and wait until she fell asleep.

He scoffed at the title when Carol first coined it. He never gave a thought to being an uncle at any point in his life, figuring that Merle was more likely to conceive a life sentence over a child. But his close friendship with Rick led to him gaining a new brother and in turn, a family he was ferociously protective over.

Upon leaving Carl and Parker in the street, he settled in his usual seat on the porch and smoked a cigarette while he waited. Through the gaps in the houses opposite he could see her, the flash of the machete blade shining in the sun's rays as she paced slowly back and forth. Her hand jabbed at her thigh as she wandered, an obvious stress reaction. Her head was low, her face obscured as always. He had so many questions. Some, he may never ask. The main one playing on his mind as he watched her ritualistic pacing; why are you so nervous?

When she arrived, Jess raised a hand in greeting to Daryl as she climbed the steps and pulled out the chair across the table from him, placing her bow against the house beside her. She settled down and got to the task in hand by scanning the map that was open on the table between them. Her eyes threatened to lift to his face more than once, but she resisted, knowing that their icy blueness would only scatter her thoughts and risk exposure.

“Said you know the terrain.” She mentioned. “How well?”

“Pretty well.” He replied, leaning forward in his seat and placing a finger on a dark area of the map. Dense woodland surrounded by fields. “Right here is the best chance we got. These patches of land are farms. We should check ‘em for chickens, goats and sheep.”

“Been a while since the turn, chances of them being alive are slim.” Jess considered.

“Never know. Some of ‘em mighta got out, be runnin’ around in the woods. Only problem is, there’s small towns on either side. The people, they probably ran outta the towns-”

“-Thinking they’d be safer in the woods. Meaning Walkers followed them.”

she concluded.

“Exactly. Gonna have to be smart ‘bout this.”

“Tomorrow morning? Sunrise?” She proposed boldly as she rose from her seat and collected her bow. He nodded and ficked a hand carelessly in the direction of the gate.

“Meet ya outside.”

Deciding not to say anything else or bid him a polite farewell, she quickly left the porch and set off for the gate, needing to get back to her own personal space and think about what the next day might bring.

- - - - -

Furniture that Aaron helped scavenge, rugs, an actual bed with a fur blanket and certain working machines in her diner of a settlement made the whole place more a home and less of a temporary shelter. Candles in holders screwed to the walls were her source of just enough light not to draw attention through the boards on the windows from the outside.

She pulled her hood and mask off and lay on her front on the bed. Reaching under the pillow, she retrieved her journal, which she had not used since arriving in the city all alone. Aside from not feeling the need to write and having the luxury of telling Ben everything, she felt that the book itself had done nothing but cause her pain. It was a black and white piece of evidence that testified to how she really felt. All her innermost demons, insecurities and fears. She did still fear. But rather than fearing the dead, or the evil that humans could do, the thing she feared most was herself. She knew who she really was, but she had lost so much of it over the last year she wondered if it would disappear altogether. She opened the cover to find one of the pens Daryl had found for her and twisted it around in her fingers before setting it to the paper and beginning to write.

Being in such close proximity to him without him knowing it’s me is so strange. It’s terrifying me. I feel a need to watch over him. I still care about him and I hate myself for it, because I meant nothing to him. I guess that’s always been a flaw of mine. Caring about people that wouldn’t lend me a dime. He infuriates me. I get so angry when I’m around him but when I’m not, it’s like I need to see him. I’m drawn to him. I don’t know why.

Maybe I should just tell him. Just try. Maybe things will have changed. We’ve both changed after all. I just can't risk getting hurt again. I can't take it.

She slammed the journal shut and heaved herself up from the bed, crossing the room and catching sight of herself in a full-length mirror on the wall. She was a lot thinner, having lost over half of what she weighed when she reached the city. At first, she didn’t even notice it dropping off. But then her pants were too big and she found she could train for longer and longer. First, it was through lack of food but then though exercise and months of rigorous training while she molded herself into a survivor and shed her identity. She knew she looked totally different, the only thing remaining the same being her eyes and facial features. Even her voice was different with her mask on. On the outside, it looks like she had washed off every ounce of her individuality and became nothing but a shadow. A shadow with only one name.

- - - - -

The next morning brought with it more blazing sunshine and suffocating hot temperatures. The drive was long and quiet with only a few words exchanged. Jess felt more emotionally vulnerable than ever, finding herself constantly looking at Daryl as he drove. Half way through the journey, she slid some sunglasses on in the hope that it would hide her obsession with him and avoid any awkward questions.

He didn’t look any different. The same leather vest, ripped jeans and laces tied around his ankles. That same, red bandana he always had in his back pocket. The same gruff and indifferent attitude. All the same things about him she liked before. She still liked them now.

Upon arrival at the first farm, Jess couldn’t believe her eyes when she entered the barn, bow poised and expecting a huge shed full of Walkers or people waiting to take her down. But instead, she found four sheep and a pen full of chickens. They were skinny, malnourished and in need of medical attention but she couldn’t help but laugh from the doorway, unable to believe her luck. It was looking like her long and awkward trip with Daryl would be cut short sooner rather than later.

Daryl appeared at her side, also lowering his crossbow when he realized there was no threat.

“Well this was easy.” He commented.

“I was thinking the exact same thing. How the hell did they survive in here for so long?”

Daryl’s eyes scanned the inside of the barn, stopping on the large, metal tanks mounted on the walls in the pens.

“Those” He said, pointing to them. “Fill ‘em with animal feed, set a timer to go off each day. Got a drip feed ya aint gotta touch ‘til it runs out. They got their water tanks too.”

“For all that time? Since the turn?” She asked.

“Naw. There are a couple bodies in the house. Look like they only been dead a month or so. Don’t think these guys were actually alone for that long.” He expressed.

The two bodies in the house were without a doubt the owners of the property, both heads blown off and both sets of hands clutching family photographs taken outside the very barn that Jess and Daryl stood in.

“Good, it means we can fix them up and hopefully they’ll breed.” She said as she wandered inside and started unravelling a length of rope from a hook on the wall.

“I’mma go hunt, see if I can take somethin’ decent back.”

Far from wanting to argue, Jess figured she would just have to move the animals alone and hook them up inside the truck herself. The sheep would be easy enough, the chickens were going to be the main problem. But asking for his help was the last thing she wanted to do.

“Be back in two hours, I wanna get these animals to Alexandria as soon as possible.”

“Alright.” He grunted, disappearing from sight.

It took Jess almost the full two hours just to chase the chickens around the pen alone. With one particularly spritely hen causing absolute chaos when she refused to let Jess grab a hold of her. She cawed and screamed as loud as her lungs would let her and when Jess finally managed to capture her by throwing her jacket over her, she considered wringing her neck.

“Your name is Sarah. You hear me?” She spat as she carried the troublesome chicken to the truck and tossed it inside.

She slammed the door and leaned her back against the cool metal, catching her breath and letting the breeze blow through her hood. It was times like this when her clothing and survival wear proved to be impractical. But it was rare and not enough to make her want to wander around in a sleeveless vest like Daryl.

Her eyes moved over to the farmhouse, the door still swinging open from where Daryl had scoped it out upon their arrival. She straightened up and headed inside to search for anything else useful.

- - - - -

It was another half an hour before Daryl returned with a sash full of squirrels and two rabbits hanging from his belt. Not huge kills by any stretch of the imagination, but meat none the less and Jess figured Alexandria would be OK for a while at least. His timekeeping left a little something to be desired.

“You’re late.” She complained.

“Yes I am.” He proclaimed to the rolling eyes of the masked woman sat in the driver’s seat. She’d decided that she was the one that was going to drive them home and he was not about to argue.

Half an hour into the journey and Daryl had taken a ten-minute power nap followed by lighting a cigarette and winding the window down. Jess was surprised he’d even had the courtesy to do that, seeing as he’d thrown the dead animals he’d hunted into the footwell and left them there. They were beginning to smell and Jess wrinkled her nose under her mask.

“You have a group, before this?” She heard him ask through the noise of the trees that darted past beyond the open window. She hadn’t, for one second anticipated that he might ask about her past and panic began to thunder through her. Her mind raced and she knew she had to calm down and proceed with extreme caution.

“Yes.” She replied.

“They gone?”

“I don’t know.”

“You lost anybody?” His question was louder after the window was rolled back up and it struck Jess as an odd topic of conversation. She figured he might be testing her, to see how much she would disclose. Everyone had lost someone in some way or another, it seemed like an obvious question to ask. But Jess knew Daryl and if he wanted to know something, it sometimes took him a while to actually say it.

He’s curious about me.

“My family. You?”

He nodded and nibbled on his lower lip. She remembered how he did it a lot at the quarry when he was trying to express himself and was finding it difficult to get the words out.

I know you, Dixon.

“My brother...” He mumbled.

Jess’s heart sank. Merle. Maybe he didn’t find him after he left the city. She hoped that he was alive and that Daryl just wasn’t aware of it. She hoped he was with some other group, annoying the hell out of them and offending all of their women.

“...Couple friends n’ a girl I used to know from the first camp we were in.”

Jess was biting her tongue. It was all she could do to stop herself from bursting into tears. Her stomach was churning and she felt nauseous. On the outside, she battled to keep her face straight and her eyes fixed on the road but the truth was, a herd of elephants could have charged at the truck and she wouldn’t have noticed.

He’s talking about me.

She sucked in a quiet breath, filling her lungs and trying to clear her head so she could find the strength to reply.

“A girl, huh?” Her voice sounded slightly shakier than she’d intended, but Daryl didn’t seem to notice.

“Not like that. She was a friend.” He grumbled.

“Oh.” Jess responded as unphased as possible. “I’m sorry.”

Half of her meant it, she really was sorry. Sorry for leaving like she did with no goodbye. But the other half was lying, she wasn’t sorry at all after what she’d heard and all the times she was left to deal with the aftermath of being belittled and humiliated by herself. Daryl said nothing else for the rest of the drive and dutifully helped Jess unload the animals from the truck upon their arrival back at Alexandria. The makeshift pens were just about finished after Abraham, Glenn and Rick worked on them all day. Children poured out of their houses wanting to see the new additions and Jess stood by the open door of the truck and watched the scene. She hadn’t seen so many people smile in a very, very long time.

- - - - -

That night, after dinner and a shower at Aaron’s place, Jess hooked her bow over her head and headed for Deanna’s place to drop the trucks keys off. As she passed Daryl sitting on the porch with Judith, she doubled back, changing her mind and striding over to the truck. She unlocked it, delved behind the front seat and retrieved what she was looking for.

The dim glow of the porch light above them cast an angelic halo around Judith’s bright, golden hair and the soft, raspy tone of Daryl’s voice lured her closer still when she stopped on the path. She knew the story, a dog was the protagonist and Daryl was adding parts to the story that were not printed in the book. She smiled at the thought of him reading Children’s stories, Dixon style to the amazed child sitting on his lap. He still hadn’t seen her, nor did Judith know she was there and she realized she was once again torn and battling an internal war, she didn’t know if she was doing the right thing. Seconds from turning on her heels and fleeing into the night, Daryl looked up and clocked her presence.

“You need somethin’?”

“Uh, no” She stammered.

This is a dumb idea. Turn around, you idiot.

“When you were hunting today, I checked the farmhouse for anything useful. I found this. Thought she could use it. I had the same one when I was a kid.”

She brought her hand around her body where she'd been hiding a children’s book behind her back. She slowly took the steps and held it out to him, horrified when at first he just stared at it, then back up at her until he finally took it from her grasp. Judith squealed and sprayed her tiny fingers out, pulling the book towards her and playing with the thick pages.

Daryl looked completely and undoubtedly confused. He shifted Judith on his lap and narrowed his eyes at Jess. Feeling as though her cover was being majorly blown by her gesture and that such a thing would never be done by a masked assassin who lived in the woods and was capable of murdering a compound full of people at Terminus, she frantically thought of a way to throw him off.

“Is she yours?” She asked.

“Naw. She’s Ricks.” He replied in his gravelly tone.

“You read to her some nights.” She mentioned.

“Yeah. She likes this book about the dog. It’s her favorite.”

Judith was now happily pawing at her new book but Daryl’s attention hadn’t left Jess, who was now struggling not to tap at her leg.

“She seems to like you.” She pointed out.

Daryl finally looked down at Judith, who raised her head and flashed him a wide, toothless smile.

“She’s a good kid.” He mumbled.

As he said the words, Judith snuggled against his chest and Jess almost collapsed at the adorable sight. This man was not the kind of man she would have expected to be so good with a child. She always knew he had a sensitive side and that he had a hidden, selfless trait that was as strong as it was admirable. But seeing him with a happy little girl, reading her stories and making a regular thing of it to boot, simply astounded Jess. He may have broken her heart, but deep down, she knew he was the best kind of person.

“I’ll leave you alone.” She whispered.

She turned and adjusted her bow as she began to cross the grass.

“Parker.” She heard from behind her. She halted, her body humming with anticipation. She was no psychic but her gut was telling her he was about to say something significant. She looked over her shoulder.

“You remind me of somebody.” He told her.

It was on the tip of her tongue.

It’s me, Jess.

“Is that a compliment?” She asked instead.

“Yeah, it is. And thanks.” He held the book up with one of Judith’s hands still clutching the edges of the pages. Jess gave him a polite nod and resumed walking, getting faster and faster until she reached Deanna’s, dropped the key into the mailbox and ran for the gate.

- - - - -

Maybe I was wrong about him. He’s not a bad person. Maybe he just said a bad thing. Maybe he just didn’t know how to defend me, or if he even should have done. I don’t know. I want to believe these things are true and the man I saw today is the real Daryl. But I can’t forget. I can’t forget what I heard. All the times I was alone and I needed him.

I don’t need anyone now. But I do want some closure. I owe it to myself to find out the truth, to find out his side of the story. So, one way or another, I can move on. I have to tell him who I really am.

NEXT CHAPTER

--- tagging as requested ---

@lilred254

#daryl dixon #the walking dead daryl #daryl x oc #daryl fanfiction #twd daryl #twd fanfiction #daryl dixion imagine

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dotzilaa · 5 years

Text

The Star Player

Writer’s Month Day Seven! Today’s prompt is Sports.

Summary: Supernatural High School AU where Castiel is the yearbook photographer along with Charlie and he needs to get pictures of the soccer team for the final game of the season, and he might have a major crush on the star player, Dean.

Word Count: 1951 (this is a long one)

Castiel carefully grips his camera around his neck as he jogs towards the soccer field. The game starts in twenty minutes and he needs to get a picture before the sun goes down. It’s the last game of the season, everyone is hyped, and the team has the homefield advantage. Charlie wants to get a before and after shot of them, so Castiel needs to get there now.

The team is thankfully on the field already and he makes his way over to the coach. Bobby looks up from his clipboard as he approaches, and he holds up his camera in response. He’s already told Bobby what he needed so all he does is blow his whistle and Castiel flinches.

“Boys! Get over here!” It takes a minute or two before all of them are gathered around the pair. He catches Dean’s eye and he gives Castiel a blinding smile. Castiel looks away, face flushing a bit. “Castiel here needs to get your picture so line up. You know what to do.” As he waits, he spots Charlie over with the cheerleaders and he refrains from rolling his eyes. She’s supposed to be doing the same thing as him, but he knows she’s just flirting. He looks back to the team and gestures for Bobby to join them. He rolls his eyes but does so.

He takes a couple steps away and starts snapping pictures, he promises them that if he gets a couple serious ones, they can do goofy ones. Once he gives the go ahead one person immediately jumps on another’s back, another has one in a faux choke hold and many have sprouted bunny ears. He shakes his head but snaps the pictures. Most of them change poses and when he’s done, they crowd around him to see. Dean all but pushes right up against him, throwing an arm over his shoulders and heat seeps into his shoulders.

“These are great Cas!” Dean smiles that smile again and Castiel can’t stop himself from smiling back.

“Thank you, Dean.”

“You’re gonna be a famous photographer one of these days. Just you wait.” Castiel chuckles and looks away from him to make sure that no one will drop his camera.

“That’s very kind of you.” He replies.

“Take the compliment Cas. You’re fantastic.” He ruffles Castiel’s hair and then he’s off, calling the rest of the team to get back to warming up.

Castiel walks over to the benches where the team sits, dropping his bag next to one end and going through the pictures again. He’s already choosing which ones he should use and how to edit them a bit. The lighting and cropping could be better. He rechecks his memory once again, just to make sure that he has enough room for the rest of the game.

He walks over to Charlie who he knows for sure is flirting because he can hear the giggles from the cheerleaders. She barely spares him a glance as he comes to stand right next to her.

“So, they’re doing a marathon of the Star Wars movies at the theatre, you only have to pay a little bit more but going will be totally cool. I’m friends with one of the ushers and he said that refills on popcorn and drinks will be free. You want to join me?” The cheerleader she’s talking to looks totally enamored and Castiel holds back a snort.

“Totally! Sounds really fun. Is it this weekend?”

“Yep!”

“Hold on.” She quickly runs to her bag and Charlie sends a smile to Castiel and Castiel only shakes his head. She comes back holding a pen and Charlie diligently holds her arm out for her. The cheerleader writes her number and parts with a text me. Castiel leads Charlie back to where he’s set his stuff.

“What’s her name?”

“Anna. And she’s only doing cheerleading because of her mom and she’s totally awesome. She like Star Wars and Star Trek and it a total art nerd. I think I’m in love.”

“You always think that.”

“It’s just…” Charlie sighs dramatically. “Girls are so easy to love. Besides, enough about my love life.”

“You mean we’re not gonna talk about your love life? Oh, the horror!” Charlie playfully shoves him.

“I’m talking about your love life.”

“What? Like how nonexistent it is?” Charlie scoffs.

“Its not nonexistent! You definitely have something going on with Dean.” Castiel huffs.

“Will you drop this already?”

“Never.” Castiel sighs, running a hand through his hair. “He’s completely over the moon for you. I don’t think there’s a thing he wouldn’t do for you. All you’d have to do is bat your lashes and pout and he’ll do it without question.”

“He would not!” Charlie gives him a look.

“Mmhm.” They settle onto the bench and Castiel hands her his camera so she can look at the pictures. “These are good. I’m thinking we can even use one of the goofy ones in the back of the book.” They devolve into talking about the yearbook and how it’s going to be organized.

Castiel settles down when the game starts, and Charlie runs off to see if she can get decent pictures of the players as they play for the first half. Castiel brings out his phone, content to just scroll through social media until halftime. He cheers when everyone else does though and does look up from time to time to watch.

He shuts his phone off when he sees a post talking about fucking pennywise erotica and watches the game hoping that it’ll cleanse his mind. He’s already sent a link to Charlie anyways. His eyes almost immediately pick Dean out and he thinks back to what Charlie said.

Dean and he met when Dean needed tutoring in his English class because he needed to keep his grades up. Ever since then, they’ve practically been inseparable. Hanging out at each other’s houses, hanging out after games, playing videogames. Its been fun, being with Dean. But he’s not over the moon with him. Definitely not.

At that moment Dean runs by. He winks at Castiel and gives him a little wave before running back off again. Castiel thinks back to every time Dean did something like this. Every time the team won a game they went to get pie if they could, he almost always waved when Castiel was watching the games, he let him win in video games sometimes, he fixed his bike for him, drove for two hours just to get doughnuts from Castiel’s favorite place on his birthday, let him cry his heart out when Castiel’s parents got into yet another fight which had his mother storming out, giving him these looks like he’s Dean’s whole world. Okay, he might be over the moon with him. And Castiel might be over the moon for him too. He doesn’t know what to do with this information.

Two minutes till halftime Charlie sits back down. Her hair is now in a ponytail and she gives him a look as she drinks from her water bottle

“Why do you look like you just discovered the secret to the universe but then wished immediately for ignorance?”

“How do you even come up with this stuff?” Charlie shrugs and takes another drink. “Besides the point, you’re right oh my god.”

“I’m always right. But what am I right about now?”

“Dean likes me.” Charlie gives him a deadpan look.

“Congratulations! You’re officially the last to know. You just now figuring this out?”

“I am having a crisis here Charlie!”

“So, ask him out at half time.”

“Absolutely not!”

“Okay, okay,” Charlie holds her hands up in a placating gesture. “You’re right, he’ll probably be in such a dazed state he’ll throw the second half.”

“Charlie!” The stands erupt into cheers and they both look back to the game. Adam just scored a goal. Charlie claps and lets out a whoop that has Castiel cringing.

“Cas, listen. Gather every last drop of courage you have in you and ask Dean out on a date. For the love of god, one of you do it soon or I’m going to just lock you both in a closet, you hear me?” Castiel nods, fully believing she will. The horn goes off and they both jump and turn back to the game once again. The teams run off the field over to their benches.

Dean comes over minutes later, a towel around his shoulders and water bottle in hand.

“Hey Cas.”

“Hello Dean.” Charlie looks between them, gives Castiel a pointed look and walks off. Dean takes her place, leaning his shoulder against Castiel’s.

Dean takes a sip from his water bottle. “You okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Its just when I looked over a couple minutes ago you looked like you were about to throw up. Like you realized you completely forgot you had a test tomorrow and didn’t study at all.” Dean chuckles.

“You should really be watching the game not me.” He turns and hopes he’s giving Dean his best stern look.

“Well I apologize that I just can’t keep my eyes off of you.” Castiel sucks in a breath.

“Dean, I was wondering if-”

“Dean! Coach needs us!” One of the players, James, comes running up and Dean gives Castiel an apologetic look. Castiel doesn’t know whether to be relived or annoyed.

“Sorry Cas, later alright? I gotta jet!”

“No one says that anymore!” He calls out to Dean’s retreating back. He looks over to where Charlie is, easily spotting her with her vibrant red hair. She looks like she’s about to murder someone.

There’s a minute left on the clock and they’re tied. Both him and Charlie, and like everyone else, they’re on the edge of their seats. Charlie is actually biting her nails, glancing from the clock to the players. Saying the time every now and then.

Their team has the ball. It gets passed from player to player. Five seconds are left on the clock and when Cas looks back, the ball is getting kicked and then Dean doing a fucking jump kick or something like that and it- it goes in the goal! The stands erupt into cheers and the horn goes off. Charlie and Castiel are out of their seats, screaming and clapping with everyone else.

The team swarms Dean, they’re jumping around, hugging him, and shouting. He’s lifted up and he fist pumps the air while grinning. Charlie is already snapping shots and Castiel and Dean make eye contact. Dean’s grinning and so is Castiel. He feels so happy and proud that his legs are moving before he can process it. Castiel sees his mouth move but doesn’t here him but he’s being put down moments later. Castiel doesn’t stop, breaking into a jog and Dean pushes past his teammates.

Castiel all but tackles him, jumping up and wrapping himself around Dean and he easily catches him.

“You fucking won!” Castiel shouts.

“We won!” Dean shouts back. He adjusts his grip so both hands are holding Castiel’s thighs. Castiel leans back so he can look at Dean’s face. He’s sweaty and flushes, dirt on the side of his face and he fucking reeks- but Castiel doesn’t care. Dean’s face is split into a grin, eyes crinkling and practically sparkling. He doesn’t hesitate and smashes his mouth against Dean’s. Dean’s still for a moment before eagerly responding. Castiel is the first to break away.

A wide smile is on his face as he takes in Dean surprised and breathless face. “Go out with me. Please?” Dean huffs out a laugh and kisses him again.

“Hell yes.” He says against Castiel’s lips.

#writersmonth2019 #writersmonth #destiel #destiel fic #dean winchester #castiel #dean x castiel #supernatural #supernatural fic #destiel fanfiction #supernatural fanfiction #Dotzilaa writes #my work

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banditthewriter · 5 years

Text

Secret Admirer - Caspian X

Prompt: If you’re feeling up to it can you do a caspian imagine where reader has a secret admirer? she keeps getting gifts/notes anonymously sent to her. Caspian overhears some ladies talking about it and feels discouraged to confess his feelings until reepicheep tells him it was his doing because he knew caspian was too scared to make a move? so like everything caspian would gush about reader, reepicheep would write, &all the gifts he’d get for reader, reep would put in her room before cas backed out Prompter: Anonymous

This was something cute and fluffy to write for our dear king. Hope you enjoy it anon!

Tags are at the bottom. Let me know if you would like to be added to one of my tag lists!

*gif not mine*

Enjoy!

***** The first gift had been a beautiful rose from the palace garden. You had found it sitting on a table in the entry way of your house and had been pleasantly surprised. These roses were some of the most beautiful in the land and you had coveted them from afar for a while. You knew that none of the royal household would have minded if you took one or two, but you had never gained the courage to broach the subject. Your father had picked on you mercilessly when you discovered the rose. "A secret admirer? Or have you finally found the courage to take that which is not guarded?" "Father," you complained as you put the rose in a vase, "did you get this for me?" "Me in a garden? Unless it's an herb, I haven't seen it," he teased as he moved into the kitchen. You stared at the rose for most of the day and at night, you even brought the vase into your bedroom so that it would be the first thing you saw when you woke up. While you didn't know how it came to be here, you were grateful for it. Other gifts started to flow in after that. Little things mostly, a ribbon or a drawing. They were all so beautiful and precious but they were never left with a name. Instead the notes that accompanied were softly worded. Your smile captivates me. I dream of your laugh. I want nothing more than your happiness. Each note was equally as sweet and touching as the last, but they were never signed. Your father's jest of a secret admirer had been disregarded at first but now it seemed the only likely answer. One morning before you had to be at the palace, you tied one of the beautiful ribbons in your hair and smiled at your reflection. The thought of your admirer seeing their gift in your hair kept you happy for the whole walk to the palace. Your father had gotten there already and was giving you a knowing grin before he tugged on the ribbon in your hair. "Did you get all dressed up for me?" "Who else?" You teased back as you made your way towards the herbs that you had left to dry the night before. "Ah, Master Y/L/N. And the lovely Lady Y/N," a happy voice called from the doorway of the kitchen. You both turned to see Reepicheep scurry in. "You are positively glowing, my lady. Is that a new ribbon you wear?" "Oh, yes," you mumbled with a burn in your cheeks, "it is. Thank you." "It suits you." Reep gave a bow before he turned towards the door once more. You gave your father a quick look before you hurried after him. "Reep," you called, your voice halting his movement down the hall. "Yes my lady?" Your hand went to the ribbon in your hair and you checked the surroundings before you knelt next to him. "You wouldn't happen to know who it is that's leaving these gifts for me, would you?" The problem with asking Reep that question was that he was able to hide his emotions very well by the fact that he was a mouse. His nose twitched a bit and he bowed his head. "These are gifts, are they? I don't have a clue my lady. Would you like me to do some investigating for you?" You smiled and held a hand out for him to shake. "Please," you said with a sigh. "While I enjoy the gifts tremendously, I would like to thank the person that is giving them to me. And perhaps make sure that I haven't given the wrong impression." Reep stepped back a bit and you watched him check the surrounding area the same way that you had done just moments before. "Do you believe it to possibly be a suitor?" You gave a slow nod, feeling warmth rise to your cheeks. "Some of the notes have been romantic in nature," you admitted quietly. "Ah, and is there perhaps a certain someone you hoped the gifts are coming from?" Caspian's face flashed before your eyes but you kept your face neutral as you gave a quick shake of the head. "None that are possible." If Reep noticed the melancholy in your tone, he thankfully didn't respond to it. Instead he stepped back once more and bowed so low that his nose almost touched the stone floor beneath your feet. "I will do my best," he said with an elegant wave of his hand before he turned and darted down the hallway once more. While technically a lie, you didn't feel bad for telling Reep that you didn't hope for a certain someone to be your secret admirer. There was no way that King Caspian would be giving you gifts, romantic or otherwise. Caspian was a wonderful king and you felt lucky that your family was welcome to work in the palace, but that did not mean that you believed yourself on the same level as the king. He was friendly and always made an effort to talk to you when he saw you, but that was because he was a good king and cared about the people. If you dreamed about riding off into the sunset with him, it could be forgiven as a child's folly. No amount of wishing or hoping would ever make it true. Your fingers went to the ribbon in your hair once more and you smiled as you stood back up. If anyone could find the source, Reep was it. ------ Reepicheep felt as if he had done something horribly unforgivable, but it needed to be done. He had listened to the king for months as he mooned and admired the darling Y/N from afar. Months of everyone telling the king to just approach her, to tell her how he felt. "She sees me as her king, not as her romantic equal. If I asked to court her, I would be putting her in a difficult position." That would be understandable and an acceptable response had Reep not seen Y/N stare longingly at the king on various occasions. She would look away if anyone turned towards her, but Reep had caught her a few times He had finally had enough. The letters were simply things that he had heard the king say about Lady Y/N; the gifts were a little more difficult. Sometimes they were based off of things that he had heard the king mention he thought she might like, but a few were things that the king had actually bought for her but kept hidden. Reep realized that his interference would be discovered if the king ever checked on these items, but he would bet his Aslan gifted tail that the king would rather pretend that those items did not exist. He knew that he needed to tell the king about what he had done, but he had something he wanted to try first. ------ The sun had started to dip below the trees and you smiled as you watched the other members of the palace all laugh and joke with one another. King Caspian was nearby listening intently to Meala tell the story of the candles that had all melted together during the great heat wave. It was the same story she told at all of these dinners, but the king listened intently each time. He laughed at the same places and asked the same questions. His responses had become just as much part of the story as Meala's melodious laughter was. When he was able to pull himself away, before she started on another familiar story, he came over to where you were sitting. Your parents had bowed out of this dinner in favor of a night to themselves and you didn't blame them. You would have stayed home as well but you never gave up the chance to spend time with Caspian if you could help it. "Lady Y/N," he greeted with a bow. "My king," you replied with a curtsy. "And I'm not a lady." "Of course you are," he said with a smile, the goblet he carried nearly full and sloshing a bit as he gestured with his hand aimlessly. "Titles and positions aren't the only mark of a lady." It was very kind of him to say. Worried that he might spill his drink all over his jacket, you reached out to touch his wrist. "I think the cup was filled to the brim," you joked as you gestured to where it was dripping. You expected him to say something about it, but instead his eyes were locked on your wrist. Wrapped around your wrist was a beautiful bracelet that had been gifted to you most recently by your secret admirer. It had been wrapped in a soft silken fabric and had stolen your breath when you had unwrapped it. The colored glass reflected the dying sunlight beautifully. Each piece had been carefully carved and situated on the bracelet. You had immediately loved it and hadn't thought twice about wearing it tonight. "My king?" He looked up at your face and then down at the bracelet on your wrist. "That is a peculiar bracelet you're wearing." His voice sounded distracted, but you didn't mind. When his free hand reached out to brush against the glass, you held your breath at the barely there touch of his fingers against your skin. "Yes, I agree, but isn't it beautiful? I seem to have a secret admirer." Caspian looked up at you with some of the color fading from his face. "A secret admirer?" "Yes," you said slowly, unsure why he was reacting that way. "Reepicheep is looking into it for me. To see if the admirer might be a suitable, well, suitor." If you had thought that the color faded from his face quickly, it was coming back just as fast. He cleared his throat as he placed his drink down on a nearby table. "Of course," he said distractedly as he looked around the area where everyone was gathered. "I just remembered that I need to speak with someone for a moment. Excuse me Lady Y/N," he said with another quick bow before he hurried from the room. His reaction left you confused, but that was often how you felt when the king was around. ------ "My lady," a soft voice called and you looked over your shoulder where a young faun stood. He held up a box with a shy smile. "This is for you." Intrigued, you put down the basket where you were gathering herbs for your father in order to approach the faun. It was the first time you had seen someone with the gifts that were left for you. "Miskel, do you know who sends me these gifts?" The young faun seemed equally surprised that you knew his name as he was that you were questioning him. Although maybe the latter wasn't a surprise because he quickly moved backwards and looked around. "I'm late for a lesson. My lady." In his absence, you walked the box back to where you had been kneeling before. It was a beautifully carved box, detailed and elegant. In fact you had seen one like it in the market just a few days before and had instantly fallen in love with it. The urge to purchase it for yourself has been curbed by the reminder that Christmas was coming and you needed to purchase gifts for others, not yourself. Slowly you unlatched the box and peered inside. There were notes, dozens of them. Each one in a similar hand, but they weren't the same hand that you had been receiving before. And there was something almost familiar in this handwriting. "What do you have there?" You looked up to see Caspian standing nearby with a soft smile on his lips. "Another gift I believe," you said as you reached in and touched the notes gingerly. "There's something different about the notes this time, but I highly doubt I have more than one admirer." "I wouldn't doubt it," Caspian said with a smile as he moved over to where you were standing. "Are you going to read them?" With the king standing just beside you? The thought made you want to latch the box and make your excuses. Instead you smiled and sat down next to the garden. Caspian sat down beside you, but far enough away that he could not read the notes himself. Each one was touching in ways that the previous ones had been simply kind. They spoke of your happiness and your beauty, of the happiness that you provided the person that had written them. These were more personal, you realized as you flipped through a few more. At the bottom was a larger sheet that had been folded and sealed. Upon further inspection you realized that the seal was familiar. It was Caspian's seal? You glanced at him and noticed that he was watching you with a smile on his lips. "What does that one say?" With your heart in your throat, you peeled the seal up and opened the letter. This letter was on Caspian's personal stationary and you realized why you recognized the handwriting on the letters from this box. Lady Y/N, You have been receiving gifts for a while on my behalf. While the story is interesting, the most important part is that I realized I should be making these steps on my own. I have meant every word you have read and many others. You are the most captivating person I have ever met and I find myself falling more and more in love with you. If you do not share these feelings, I will respect your wishes and stop the gifts. Always yours, Caspian X His name was signed with such care. You ran your fingers over the name and felt your heart beating wildly in your chest. "My king," you whispered as you looked up, tears in your eyes. "How can this be?" Caspian looked nervous as he shifted a bit. "My feelings for you have grown over time. From the very first time that I met you, I knew that you were special. I realized that I had started to fall for you but I wasn't sure that you could ever return those feelings." He paused for a moment and dropped his gaze to the letter in your hands. "If I have overstepped, I apologize. I simply—" You didn't let him finish. The letter dropped to the grass as you leaned over and pressed your lips to his. The touch warmed you but so did his hands as he cupped your face and drew you into a deeper kiss. "Of course I share the feelings," you whispered against his lips, your hand pressed to his cheek as you pulled back to meet his eyes. "I could never have dreamed that you were the one sending me the gifts." He bowed his head as a blush started to rise to his cheeks. "About that," he said with a smile.

------ "Oh Reepicheep," you said as you moved to where he was talking to a few of his men, "I was looking for you." He turned to look at you and then whispered something to his men before he approached you. "My lady?" You moved to kneel beside him and gave him a stern look. "Caspian told me the truth of who was delivering the gifts and letters to me on his behalf." If it was possible for a mouse to look apologetic, he succeeded with his tilted down and the slump in his shoulders. "Ah, I must apologize for my impertinence," he said, his voice cracking a bit. You reached out and scooped him up before he could protest. He scrambled to gain his footing in your hand as you pulled him close. With a smile, you pressed a kiss to his forehead. "And I must thank you for your impertinence. If it hadn't been for you, Caspian and I never would have admitted our feelings to one another." Reepicheep's smile was obvious and heart warming. "Well in that case, you're very welcome."

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#caspian #caspian x #caspian x reader #caspian imagine #caspian fanfic #my writing #requests

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ilovemygaydad · 5 years

Text

Friends in Dark Places [ch 11]

pairing: eventual moxiety, eventual logince, background eventual remile, background eventual remy/emile/deceit

WARNINGS: mentions of abusive family members, crying, mentions of self harm, mentions of suicidal ideation, homophobia, gross/rude comments, rumors, swearing, losing one’s temper, yelling, bullying, bruises, injury due to bullying, internalized homophobia, possibly something else

tag list: @hufflepuffgirl01 @cocobearthe4th @cas-is-a-hunter @band-be-boss-blog @theunoriginaldaisy

a/n: so i have to repost all of these in a different format! yay fucking me!!!! please consider reblogging these if you’re a fan of this series because it’s all fucked up now

first - previous - next - companions

consider buying me a coffee (please)

Although Virgil had relapsed since he’d been released from the hospital, Patton was still so proud of him. He was making a lot of progress towards recovery, and it was wonderful to Pat that his new friend was feeling better about himself. Virgil was, regardless of his moments of weakness, extremely strong.

Virgil held himself together when Patton had practically screamed at his dad. He’d stayed completely calm when he lifted up the towel from his arms to see a bright crimson stain on the pristine white. The poor kid even calmly explained what had happened to Mrs. Shea when she’d arrived to pick them up from the curb.

It was only when they’d gotten home and into Virgil’s room that he broke down in tears. But that didn’t mean he was weak. Tears weren’t weak. Tears meant that Virgil was healthily coping with his problems. That made Patton even more proud; Virgil’s health was his top priority right now, and any progress on it was fantastic.

“Hey, Vi. Do you want to talk about it? We don’t have to, but it might help,” Patton whispered as he softly hugged Virgil.

“Well,” Virgil croaked, taking a few moments to regain his composure. “Obviously, my dad’s never been around. He was rarely at holidays or special occasions; I can count on one hand the amount of times he celebrated his wedding anniversary. He’s stuck up, and he holds ridiculously high expectations for me. I’ve never been able to meet them. To him, I’m a burden. I’m the epitome of everything he hates: punk-rock attitude, artistic, creative, ‘rebellious,’ and all that fun stuff. I will never please him.”

Patton gave Virgil a little squeeze. “I know this sounds like a bad response, but I still want you to know this: I will always be proud of you. No matter if you fall down. No matter if you mess up. You are the strongest kid I’ve ever met, Virgil. I love you.”

He could feel Virgil shift in his arms so he’d be able to look Patton in the face. Tear tracks ran down his cheeks, and his eyes were red and puffy. To be honest, Virgil looked like a hot mess, but that didn’t matter to either of them.

“I love you too, Pat. You’re my best friend.”

Virgil leaned back into Patton, hugging him tighter.

“You’re my best friend, too.”

---

Somehow, news of Patton’s bad-assery had spread around the school by Tuesday morning.

“You didn’t tell anyone, did you?” Virgil hissed, pulling his hoodie closer around his body.

“No! Well, I told Logan and… Oh… Roman might have accidentally let it slip to one of his other more popular friends.” Patton scrunched up his face, taking note to scold Roman later. Virgil didn’t need all of this drama centered around him in his life, and obviously this was an extreme breach of privacy.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” Virgil groaned and tapped Pat on the arm, pointing to a locker. Virgil’s locker. A group of kids were surrounding it, looking like they were about to launch themselves at the pair of friends.

“Don’t worry; I’ll deal with them,” Patton assured as he confidently walked to the group. “Hey, guys! Would you mind-”

“Oh my god. Patton! Did you actually punch Virgil’s dad?” The kid at the front looked like he was standing in front of a super hero.

“What? No!” Virgil had shrunk back at the sudden explosion of voices, but he still came to Patton’s rescue.

“Why did you protect him, Patton?” a cheerleader asked, playfully flipping her ponytail. “He’s a nobody. Oh, or are you two dating?”

Pat recoiled at the invasive questions.

“Oh! I’ve always wanted a gay friend!” a different cheerleader cut in. Both Virgil and Patton were becoming more uncomfortable by the second. A chorus of voices blanketed them in nonstop stimuli.

“Enough! For fuck’s sake, enough!” Virgil yelled, having reached his limit. Everyone in the hallway froze, staring at the normally quiet loner. He ran a hand through his hair regain some minuscule amount of composure before speaking again.

“To answer your question, no. Patton and I aren’t dating. And even if we were, it would be exactly none of your business. I can’t personally speak for Pat, but as an actual queer guy, your kind--yeah, I’m talking about all of you cishet assholes--are not the type people that anyone from the LGBTQ+ community would want to talk to. Ever. We aren’t trivial objects, and we certainly don’t want to be fetishized by cishets. Now get the fuck away from my locker.” Virgil’s voice was oddly calm and smooth, the only true indication that he was angry being the icy cold tone he spoke in.

Oh, was Patton proud of his best friend.

---

For the rest of the day, Patton was bombarded with questions from his classmates. There were even a few teachers that approached him! The whole situation was absolute chaos; the truth had wildly spun out of control, lost in the rumors. Not to mention the fact that Virgil’s whole coming-out-to-the-whole-school stint was beginning to circulate as well. Virgil had texted Patton multiple times every block to vent about “the sheer amount of fucking times these idiots have asked if I am, in fact, queer and if I have a crush on you.”

During lunch, too, hordes of students would come to their table and ask them invasive questions. Some had even been locating Logan and Roman during class to ask them to spill the details. Which, thank god, they didn’t. Roman had well learned his lesson to not--even by accident--tell other people about what was happening in Virgil’s life.

When the boys got home, they flopped onto Patton’s bed and reflected on what the actual fuck had happened at school.

“Did anyone make fun of you?” Patton asked. Their school wasn’t the most tolerant of LGBTQ+ people, despite its large population of them. In fact, it wasn’t really tolerant in the slightest. That was one of the reason Patton was still closeted himself, as were Roman and Logan. And, even though he was so close to Virgil, he hadn’t gathered the courage to tell his friend.

Virgil paused for just a beat too long before whispering a weak “no…”

“Who was it? I’ll fight them!” Patton had his Dad Voice on.

“Pat, don’t worry about it. I can handle some stupid jocks and their homophobic bullshit.” The lie fell completely flat.

“What did they do?” The tone in Patton’s voice was almost scary. Virgil hesitated for a second before he lifted the hem of his shirt to reveal a large bruise blossoming on his chest and stomach.

All the color drained from Pat’s face. “Who. Did. This?”

“I-I can’t tell you. I can’t let you get hurt, too,” Virgil whispered. Patton’s heart shattered at the notion that his friend, who he’d barely known for two weeks, was willing to sacrifice himself to keep Pat safe. It just made Patton want to protect Virgil even more.

As soon as Virgil left the room, Patton called Logan and Roman to formulate their plan.

---

Somehow, they were able to hide the rainbow clothing and accessories from Virgil for the whole right to school. The night prior, Logan, Roman, and Patton had gathered up all of their gear from last year’s pride and agreed to wear as much of it as possible. Logan had rainbow tape around the stems of his glasses (hidden carefully under a beanie for the time being) and at least four rubber bracelets that had “I’m fucking gay” stamped onto them, Roman wore his glittery rainbow Converse and a “gay doesn’t just mean happy” shirt hidden under his jacket, and Patton had brought along a pride flag to wear as a cape.

As soon as they’d entered the school, the hiding went out the window. Lo’s beanie was pocketed, Roman removed his jacket and wrapped it around his waist, and Pat drew the flag around his shoulders. Then Patton turned to Virgil and held out a rainbow beanie.

“Since you were so brave and came out to everyone yesterday, we decided to join you. Meet the ‘Queer Quad!’” Students passing began to stare at the blatant queerness, but for once, Virgil didn’t care.

“Fuck yeah!” Virgil took the beanie and slipped it on before addressing the bystanders. “You know, it’s not very polite to stare. Now scram before one of us gays come to make you ‘one of us.’”

“I mean, this can’t be very surprising to you all,” Roman added with a smirk. “Most of us four are theatre geeks, and you know that drama is the club for the gays!”

The crowd immediately rushed away, most likely to begin gossiping about the newly outed group.

A thought came into Virgil’s mind. “Roman, aren’t you worried about what your teammates are going to say? I mean, they’re not even the slightest bit decent, and there is no doubt in my mind that they won’t take this as an opportunity to ream the shit out of you. The other gymnasts are fucking brutal.”

“Prince Darkling, I’ve been hiding myself and my previous boyfriends from the world for too long. And even if they did want to come after me, I��ve got you guys to back me up.”

Patton pulled them all into a group hug. “I’m proud of us. Now, let’s go live our free lives!”

Soon, the rumors had reached the whole school, but it didn’t even bother Virgil this time.

#sanders sides fic #moxiety #logince #m writes things #virgil sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders

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twodaysintojune · 5 years

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The Apple Pie Spell 3

Supernatural, Debriel, Warnings-None

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

Find me at AO3

Gabriel was sitting on a chair, looking at Dean’s resting body. He had felt something move in the spell with each kiss Dean had received, it had acknowledged the feelings of each of them but in the end it hadn’t budge. It was a powerful spell after all. He was actually surprised Cas hadn’t felt it’s original source at all, probably because he was not used to Fae energy. But something was missing in the puzzle and he was still unsure of exactly what.

Despite Gabriel’s best intentions, Sam had postponed the search for candidates to kiss Dean up until the next day and had gone to lock himself up in his room but not before asking Cas to join him for a quick talk in private.

Gabriel only guessed what that talk could be about. Seeing how strong the tension was from Sam towards Cas he just hoped the Winchester had gathered some courage to finally confess after seeing how close he had been of losing his chance with the Magpie.

Which led him to his own current situation. Because seeing Cas lean over to kiss Dean had been pretty arousing for a hot second before he felt a sharp pang of jealousy towards his brother go through him, damn, he could even bet his ass Cas had been able to feel it.

But why?

Why was he suddenly jealous when he saw Castiel about to kiss Dean? Gabriel tried his best to remember the last time he ever had this kind of feeling, probably centuries ago with Kali. And it had gone the exact same way. He had been fooling around with her saying it was nothing serious until she suddenly started to date that Hindu god what's-his-name and he had felt like everything was out of sorts until he came out clean to her.

However, unlike with Kali, he had never gotten intimate with Dean. I mean, yeah, there was that one kiss from some time ago but that one didn’t really count, he had just been impulsive for Father’s sake. They were friends, bros, besties. You know, all that shit. They spent an insanely stupid amount of time watching Dr. Sexy reruns and porn and liked to go out and have burgers and beer and laugh and play and fight and do all of that fun and stupid stuff you do with someone you trust.

Someone you love.

Aw shit, Gabriel was knee deep in fucking trouble. He wasn’t even able to hide his blush when he realized the reason that even though Dean had been showed loyal, familiar and revered love, none of it would have been enough. Because this was a Fae spell and the Fae never did their stuff half assed and if there was a tiny sliver of hope that Dean Winchester actually had someone that would love him for who he was and have him as their partner, the spell would only work with that person alone.

Gabriel slowly approached and leaned towards Dean while having all these thoughts, trembling, afraid that his love would not be enough to wake him up. He stopped inches away from Dean’s face. He knew his friend was hot but now Gabriel found him downright handsome and why were things so difficult now? He stopped his anxious thoughts and dived in, joining their lips together with a rushed breath. Father his lips were still the best thing he had ever felt.

Dean woke up to see Gabriel sitting nonchalantly by his side.

“Gabriel?”

Dean made a go to sit yawning, subconsciously, he touched his lips briefly. There was something important he had to notice but before he could pin it out he was distracted by his friend.

“Sup, Dean-o. How’re you feeling?”

“Man, I feel like I got the best nap of my entire life.” Gabriel chuckled nervously. “Dude, you ok? You look pretty wrecked.”

Gabriel opened his eyes wide.

“Me? Hahaha no, not really. I just need to lay down. It was a weird ass day. Maybe you should also rest a bit more, considering you were under a spell and all.”

“Spell?” Dean was still trying to fully wake up. “What do you mean by…” his eyes suddenly lit in realization “The pie”

Gabriel gave him a soft grin and proceeded to explain him all that had happened while he was out. Dean frowned when Gabriel told him of the kiss Cas and Jack had given him with a clear accusatory look that the archangel just laughed aside, he also thoughtfully forgot to tell Dean about the kiss his brother had delivered.

“So you decided you needed to have your fun before using your mojo to lift the spell.”

“Hey, wouldn’t you have done the same in my place?” Gabriel asked shrugging his shoulders “Besides, nobody got hurt this time.”

“Yeah, just because all my lights were out but I would definitely have made a stand against it.”

“I get it tiger, next time I’ll come save you straight out, no detours taken. Should I wear the full Prince Charming attire or just a cape is alright?”

Dean chuckled while receiving the cold beer Gabriel produced out of nowhere.

“How about you stick around and help us avoid this kind of stuff from the start.”

“Heh… If only I could do that...”

Dean looked at Gabriel and tensed up, he was looking aside wistfully in a manner very unlike his usual behaviour.

“Dude, it’s alright, it was a joke. We know you’ve got responsibilities, Heaven needs you more than we do.”

“Yeah… I just wish they didn’t...” Gabriel chuckled bitterly “You know, it’s really funny… All these years, all I ever wanted was to go back home and be needed and now that I have it I… It’s… That place… It’s no longer home.”

Gabriel barely threw the words out of his mouth before a knot forced him to stop. It was the first time Gabriel had dropped all pretense towards himself. He was no longer able to avoid the truth. Tears were forming on his eyes and before he was able to understand what was going on, Dean was pulling him towards a kind embrace.

“Hey, it’s alright. I bet you’ll find a place to call home.”

Gabriel threw his arms around Dean and hugged him as hard as the hunter could take without it being too much. He felt his core cracking a little when he realized that once more he was far from where he really wanted to be. He didn’t want to let go. He wanted to stay here.

“Home...”

#debriel #dean winchester #Dean Winchester is a Disney Princess #gabriel #gabriel supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #spn fanfic #fanfiction

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pamphletstoinspire · 6 years

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A Padre Pio Inspirational Story

“Father Pio is a giant of sanctity. We wish to thank our Father who is in Heaven for having given rise in the Holy Church of God to a man of great faith, of that unshakable faith that moves mountains and creates gigantic good works in this century of struggles, fratricidal wars and egoism. God has given rise in the Italian Church, in this noble region of Puglia, to a giant of sanctity whose heroic virtues recall men of today to their vocation as God’s created beings and sons of the Father who is in Heaven.” – Cardinal Angelo Sodano, Vatican Secretary of State __________

Padre Pio and His Friends from East and West

Father Pio Francesco Mandato, F.M.H.J., of Eastern, PA, Danny D’Agosto of Brooklyn, NY, and James Hurlburt of San Diego, CA, each shared their memories of Padre Pio with us for this issue of “Pray, Hope, and Don’t Worry.”

Father Pio Francesco Mandato, F.M.H.J., was born in Italy in 1956 to Graziella and Andre Mandato. His family lived in Pietrelcina, the town where Padre Pio was born and raised. Fr. Mandato’s family and extended family, including his great-grandfather, received many graces through the years from their spiritual father, Padre Pio. Their stories of Padre Pio were told and retold with the greatest pleasure.

Fr. Mandato’s grandmother, Maria DeNunzio once asked a friend who was going to San Giovanni Rotondo to deliver a letter to Padre Pio for her. She fixed her friend a cup of espresso and they had an enjoyable visit. Then he left for the monastery. He was able to talk with Padre Pio and when it was time to say good-bye, Padre Pio surprised him by saying, “Aren’t you forgetting something?” “Not that I can think of,” Maria’s friend replied. “Not only did you enjoy a cup of coffee and a visit with Maria, but you promised her that you would give me the letter that is in your back pocket!” At once he remembered and quickly placed the letter in Padre Pio’s hands.

In Pietrelcina, everyone called Padre Pio, Il Monaco Santo, “the holy friar.” Everyone felt very proud that the “holy friar” was a fellow citizen of Pietrelcina. The people from Pietrelcina were characteristically simple, devout, hard-working, and strong in their Catholic faith. Many people in the area were related or distantly related to each other. Pio Francesco’s mother was related to Padre Pio through her paternal grandmother.

Padre Pio never forgot the town from which he had come. He loved Pietrelcina and he loved the people who lived there. He said that he remembered Pietrelcina, “stone by stone.” Padre Pio wrote a letter to his brother Michael Forgione, who still resided in their hometown and said, “Pietrelcina is totally in my heart.” Regarding his spiritual life, Padre Pio once said, “Everything happened in Pietrelcina. Jesus was there.” It was in Pietrelcina that the Lord began to pour out his graces on the young Capuchin. Padre Pio once made the prophetic statement, “During my life I have cherished San Giovanni Rotondo. After my death I will cherish and favor Pietrelcina.” How fitting that today he is known as St. Pio of Pietrelcina.

During World War II, the people of Pietrelcina were worried about their safety. “Do not worry,” Padre Pio said. “Pietrelcina will be protected.” History bears out the truth of his statement. Padre Pio was transferred to the Capuchin monastery of Our Lady of Grace in San Giovanni Rotondo in 1916 and remained there until his death in 1968. A number of the residents of Pietrelcina moved to San Giovanni Rotondo to be closer to their spiritual father.

Once Paris DeNunzio, Pio Francesco’s grandfather, made a trip to San Giovanni Rotondo from Pietrelcina to see Padre Pio. The road that led up to the monastery was steep and dangerous. Paris’ companion, who was driving, fell asleep at the wheel and the car swerved and veered off the road. Paris, who was very frightened, began praying, “Padre Pio, helps us!” At the last moment, the driver was able to gain control of the car. When they arrived at the monastery and went to Padre Pio’s cell, Paris told his spiritual father about the near accident. “And were you frightened, Paris?” Padre Pio asked. “Yes, I was frightened,” Paris replied. “Well, don’t you know who was driving?” Padre Pio asked. Paris asked him what he meant. “I was driving the car,” said Padre Pio, “and you all arrived safely!”

Paris used to pray daily to Padre Pio, recommending to him his wife, his daughter, his son and other family members. Once when he was talking to Padre Pio, he asked him to pray for his family and began to name them. Padre Pio said to him, “You do not need to tell me their names. I hear their names every day in your prayers.” Another time, Paris was experiencing pain in his chest and was worried that perhaps he had heart trouble. He told Padre Pio about it and Padre Pio replied that there was nothing wrong with his heart. “Of course there is something wrong,” Paris said. “If there wasn’t something wrong, I would not be in so much pain.” Padre Pio told him to stop talking about it. “If you don’t stop, I will give you a punch,” Padre Pio said. He then gave Paris a light punch on his chest. From that moment on, he never experienced another pain in his chest.

Pio Francesco’s mother, Graziella, met Padre Pio for the first time when she traveled to the monastery with her father, Paris DeNunzio. Graziella was ten years-old. When they arrived, they found Padre Pio inside the 16th century friary church of Our Lady of Grace, surrounded by a large group of people. Being small, Graziella was unable to get close to him. She could only see the top of his head. When Padre Pio saw Graziella, he extended his arm over the people, and allowed her to kiss his hand. His eyes made a profound impression on her, an impression that she would never forget.

In 1946, a few days before Christmas, Graziella and her brother made a visit to see Padre Pio. He blessed Graziella by placing his hands on her head. Then in his paternal way, he gave her a fatherly embrace. At once, she became aware of the beautiful scent of roses. She believed that the fragrance was coming from the wound in his side.

One time Graziella told Padre Pio that she had met a man she was thinking of marrying. “Don’t do it. He is not for you. You don’t know what kind of coat he wears,” Padre Pio said to her. She and her father did a little research and found out that the man was a communist. When she inquired about a second suitor, the answer was again a firm “no.” When she finally named a third man, Andre Mandato, Padre Pio said, “The angel of God has passed. Do it with the blessing of God.” She married Andre in 1955.

Because of the popularity of Padre Pio’s confessional, a booking system had to be put in place at the monastery. People would take a ticket and wait for their number to be called. It sometimes required a wait of eight days or more. Once Graziella had a tremendous desire to speak to Padre Pio. The way to speak to him was through the vehicle of the confessional but Graziella did not want to wait that long. She somehow had the courage to approach the confessional without a ticket. The woman at the front of the line told her she could go ahead of her.

Just as she stepped into the confessional, Padre Pellegrino, Padre Pio’s assistant, whose job it was to check tickets, told Padre Pio that Graziella had just entered without a reservation. Padre Pio said to him, “And when she did, who were you watching?”

Graziella was permitted to make her confession regardless and she told her spiritual father that she and her husband were expecting their first child. “You will have a son,” he said. “Name him Pio Francesco.” When her baby boy arrived on July 6, 1956, she was delighted that he shared not only Padre Pio’s baptismal name, Francesco, but also his name in religion, Pio. Padre Pio sent his blessing as well as a medal with the Blessed Virgin on one side and St. Michael the Archangel on the other.

Pio Francesco Mandato was four years old when his grandfather, Paris, took him for the first time to see Padre Pio in his cell. Padre Pio blessed little Pio Francesco and embraced him. Little Pio came just up to the middle of Padre Pio’s waist. Afterward, he told his mother, “Padre Pio has perfume on his tummy.” Graziella told her son that he did not wear perfume. The fragrance was a spiritual gift that the Lord had given him, one among many gifts. It was a sign of grace for those who perceived it.

Paris took little Pio Francesco with him a number of times to the monastery to visit Padre Pio. The men were allowed to go into a gathering area and converse with Padre Pio. Women were not allowed. Pio Francesco remembers what joyful occasions they were for all concerned. In the presence of a number of Capuchins and laymen, Padre Pio enjoyed the fellowship and he loved to tell jokes and to make his friends laugh.

Seven year-old Pio Francesco and his younger brother Vincent received their first Holy Communion from Padre Pio on October 3, 1964, on the feast of the Transitus of St. Francis of Assisi (the celebration of the death of St. Francis of Assisi). Afterward Padre Pio said to the young boys, “I pray that your last Holy Communion will be even more beautiful than your first.” Pio Francesco remembers the solemnity and the great devotion with which Padre Pio celebrated Mass. Although his Mass was long, the time seemed to pass very quickly. Another remarkable aspect of Padre Pio’s Mass was that although it was always very crowded, a profound silence pervaded the church.

The Mandato family emigrated to the United States in 1964 and settled in New Jersey. Naturally, they missed Padre Pio immensely. Father Alessio Parente, Padre Pio’s secretary, relayed a message to Graziella from Padre Pio. He said, “Tell Graziella that I always have her present in my prayers and I am united to her whole family.”

On September 22, 1968, Graziella had a vivid dream of Padre Pio. “I come to say goodbye to you,” he said. She said to him, “Don’t leave,” and he replied, “The Lord is calling me.” The next day Graziella learned that he had passed away in the early morning hours.

Pio Francesco Mandato was ordained to the priesthood in Hoboken, New Jersey in 1985. He and his family made a trip to Italy so that he could celebrate his first Mass in Pietrelcina at the Madonna Della Libera altar (Our Lady of Liberty), at Our Lady of the Angels parish. It was the very same church and altar where Padre Pio had celebrated his first Mass on August 14, 1910.

Today, fifty year old Father Pio Francesco Mandato, F.M.H.J., belongs to the Franciscan Missionary Hermits of St. Joseph and lives in Eastern Pennsylvania. He continues to live out his priestly vocation in the spirit of St. Francis of Assisi. He feels that Padre Pio is still guiding him and helping him on his spiritual journey. “More than anything else, I remember Padre Pio as a very loving man, like a loving father,” Father Pio Francesco said. The words that Padre Pio said to his mother so many years before remain a consolation to him, “Tell Graziella that I always have her present in my prayers and I am united to her whole family.” Father Pio Francesco Mandato continues to carry on the work of the Lord.

“Don’t doubt my prayers, which are certainly poor, but still solicitous for you. I have never ceased, nor will I cease to pray to the most sweet God that He may be pleased to accomplish His holy work in you; that is, that you may have a strong desire and intention to reach perfection in the Christian life; a desire which you must love and nurture tenderly in your heart, as the work of the Holy Spirit, and a spark of His Divine fire.” – St. Pio of Pietrelcina ______________________________

James Hurlburt shared his testimony at the Padre Pio Devotions in San Diego. When he talked about seeing Padre Pio for the first time, James was visibly moved, and it was hard for him to continue speaking. James said, “The experience of seeing Padre Pio in prayer was so powerful that I still cannot talk about it without crying.”

James Hurlburt “I spent 24 years in the U.S. navy, and as a chief petty officer, I had become accustomed to many deployments in a number of different countries around the world. However, there is one trip that stands out among all the rest. It was my visit to the monastery of Padre Pio in 1960. It has remained one of the greatest experiences of my life.

At that time, the ship I was assigned to was stationed in Naples, Italy where we serviced navy ships of the 6th Fleet. My shipmate, Stan had met an Italian man who had told him about Padre Pio. They had decided to go to San Giovanni Rotondo to see Padre Pio and invited me and one other shipmate to go with them. I had never heard of Padre Pio but the idea of taking a few vacation days appealed to me. I thought it would be enjoyable to see the southern part of Italy and so I accepted the invitation.

When we arrived at the monastery in San Giovanni Rotondo, I noticed many women dressed in black with rosaries in their hands, climbing solemnly up the stone steps to the entrance of the church. The next day we visited the church in the afternoon and saw many of the same devout ladies, rosaries in hand, praying. I noticed a young priest who was sitting in the church and he acted strangely. He seemed ill-at-ease as he shifted around in his seat. He somehow didn’t seem to belong there among so many devout people.

On Sunday morning we got up early to attend Padre Pio’s Mass. We were there well before the Mass began and found seats on the left side of the church, near the altar. I looked up in the balcony and saw Padre Pio. It almost took my breath away. He was kneeling and had his hands folded in prayer. He seemed to be totally wrapped in God. Motionless, he was looking up at a fixed point. He remained completely still for what seemed like a long time. I felt like I was looking at Jesus. I will never forget it as long as I live.

His Mass too, was unforgettable. From our seats near the altar, we could see him well. His movements were slow and reverent. It was very impressive to see him as he opened the tabernacle and then prayed. He seemed somehow to be out of his earthly existence, talking to Jesus. He seemed to be in Heaven.

After the Mass, we went to a small reception room near the church. We could hear Padre Pio’s booming voice, full of authority, speaking to someone nearby. He was speaking to the priest who had seemed so troubled the previous day. Our Italian companion told us that Padre Pio had said to the priest, “You must go to confession if you want to save your soul!” Then the young priest left the church.

The next morning we left for Naples to return to our ship. What began as just a sightseeing trip across Italy turned out to be a glimpse into the world of the supernatural. The visit to San Giovanni Rotondo was a profound experience and it had a great impact my life. I am now 89 years old. Seeing Padre Pio and attending his Mass is a memory that I will cherish forever.”

“We belong eternally to God to love and bless Him always, and I live wholly in Him and His Divine Son.” – St. Pio of Pietrelcina ______________________________

Donato (Danny) D’Agosto, growing up in Controne, Italy, had always heard talk about Padre Pio, and had a desire to visit him. However, San Giovanni Rotondo was a long distance away and Danny could not afford to make the trip.

In 1954, when Danny was eighteen years old, he emigrated with his family to the United States. He took a bus to the boat that would take him to his new home and as the bus passed through the city of Pompeii, Danny noticed the beautiful church of Our Lady of Pompeii (Padre Pio had always had a great devotion to Our Lady of Pompeii). Passing the church, Danny made a promise to God that he would someday return to Italy and fulfill his dream of meeting Padre Pio, and he prayed, asking for God’s help and blessing in the matter.

Danny and his family settled in Brooklyn, New York. Four years later, when he was 23 years old, Danny had saved enough money to return to Italy and realize the desire of his heart. He managed to get a personal meeting with Padre Pio. “It was 5:00 a.m. when I arrived at the church,” Danny said. “Padre Pio was there greeting visitors in the sacristy before Mass. I knelt down to kiss his hand and my heart was full of emotion. Padre Pio looked at me and said, ‘You kept your promise. You came to see me!’ Padre Pio had never seen me before and had no way of knowing about the prayer and the promise I had made to God four years earlier. It still gives me the chills when I think about it.”

Danny had a desire to honor Padre Pio in a special way in New York, where he has lived for the last fifty-two years. With the permission of the parish priest of Our Lady of Mount Carmel, in Brooklyn, Danny purchased the property across the street from the church and built a shrine to Padre Pio. A large statue of Padre Pio sits behind a glass partition in an attractive alcove where many visitors come to pray. Pilgrims to the shrine have included two Bishops and one Cardinal.

The shrine remains a work in progress. Danny was able to have the name of the street facing the shrine changed to “Padre Pio Way.” Mass is celebrated at the shrine on Padre Pio’s birthday, May 25 and on September 23, the day that he died. “Padre Pio was like a light, like a bright and shining star,” Danny said.” “His holiness was tangible.”

“Where did Padre Pio get that light which he so successfully communicated to all those who met him? Undoubtedly from prayer, in listening to God, in prolonged penances, but above all through the celebration of the Mass which was the center of his existence.” – Pope John Paul II __________

What Makes Up True Holiness

As a Capuchin priest, Padre Pio led a life of profound holiness. He wrote a beautiful reflection on holiness:

“Let us keep before our minds that which makes up real holiness. Holiness means getting above ourselves; it means perfect mastery of all our passions. It means having real and continual contempt for ourselves and for the things of the world to the point of preferring poverty rather than wealth, humiliation rather than glory, suffering rather than pleasure. Holiness means loving our neighbor as our self for love of God. In this connection holiness means loving those who curse us, who hate and persecute us and even doing good to them. Holiness means living humbly, being disinterested, prudent, just, patient, kind, chaste, meek, diligent, carrying out one’s duties for no other reason than that of pleasing God and receiving from Him alone the reward one deserves.” – Padre Pio (Letters III)

#padre pio

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shirtlesssammy · 6 years

Text

13x12: Various & Sundry Villains

Then:

Rowena’s as dead as my faith in Andrew Dabb! All hail the witch queen!

Now:

At a convenience store in Wichita, Kansas, Dale, a connoisseur of the local beverages in stock, notices two women whispering and giggling with each other. Even without a little liquid courage, Dale surmises he’s got a chance and approaches them. They’re witches though and put him under a love spell --cheesy jazz music plays and Dale grins like a lovesick puppy.

The witches, Jennie and Jamie, instruct him to rob the joint of good vodka and money. Taking out the store clerk in the process, Dale accomplishes his goals and meets up with the witches outside. They proceed to take the items, and beat Dale to death with a sledgehammer. RIP Dale.

At the bunker, Sam and Dean are deep into the lore looking for a way to access the AU. And the show highlights again how the brothers’ roles have swapped. Sam has no hope but Dean is there to cheer him/them on. He encourages Sam to do his “Sam thing” and read, study, learn something that they can use for finding Jack and their mother. Dean’s going on a beer run. (They also mention how Cas calls everyday with no information and a lot of questions. Slightly clumsy exposition but a nice set up for the reality of the situation.)

The Angel Is Back On Our Screen!

He’s still in a jail cell in Massachusetts but he’s fairly serene about the whole situation, and thoroughly enjoying Lucifer’s lack of calm.

In town, Dean picks up a six pack of beer (At first I wanted to call bs on Dean only picking up a six pack, but I think the meta on this is how very healthy Dean is with Cas alive again. He isn’t drowning himself in booze -- and on top of what others have commented on in regards to Dean helping Sam --he’s sticking to the script, even if he doesn’t really need the alcohol.)

It’s his good fortune that Jennie and Jamie are there to curse him with a love spell. Jennie suggests to Dean that a kiss will wake up his true love. And lo! It does. Jamie wakes to Dean’s kiss. She asks how he’s feeling. Dean’s feeling good.

He’s in LOVE y’all!

At the bunker, he gushes to Sam about how in love he really is. Sam is on HIGH ALERT, guys. There’s nothing weird about this. Also, Dean wants to give the Grimoire as a gift to Jamie, his soulmate. Sam bolts out of his seat. He reminds Dean of Becky and her love spell. Dean doesn’t remember, and Jamie’s waiting so he’s gotta go. Sam tries to stop him, but Dean sucker punches him and takes off.

Dean walks into town and hands the Grimoire over to the sisters. In return he gets a kiss ---with a sledgehammer! Sam shows up in the Impala to save the day. Dean’s having none of it though and fisticuffs ensue between the brothers. The witch sisters take off. The fighting Winchesters get zapped by a purple flash, the hex bag burns, and wonderful pair of spiky heels enters stage left.

ROWENA!

Thank god for spoilers because I was really upset over her death last season. They did her dirty, but SHE’S ALIVE.

Back in “Hell”, Lucifer finally gets a little rise out of Cas by taunting him with Mary’s torture at the hands of Michael. Quick aside: I saw grumbles on Twitter (surprise!), that using “Cassandra” as an insult was a degrading joke at the expense of women. I side-eye that because Lucifer doesn’t think much of women or Cas. Furthermore, when I first heard that my brain didn’t associate Cas and Cassandra. My brain tumbles off in so many tangents that I instantly started thinking of how Cas is going to be like the famous Cassandra. He needs a win though, so not sure how this would be relevant.

Cas then taunts Lucifer with “truths” about Jack. “Jack would rather kill you than hug you.” Lucifer gets pissy enough that in his anger he’s able to move a stick in his cell.

At the bunker, Rowena is looking On Point.

Between Cas and Rowena both being back, there’s too much pretty on my screen. I don’t really know how to function to be honest here.

Rowena is cagey about her resurrection, but never wants to die again. She needs the Black Grimoire because it contains a page that will help remove a binding spell the Grand Coven placed on her many years ago. Rowena wants to work together to get the book back. The Winchesters give her a hard no. She’s changed! “Honestly, having your skull crushed and being burned alive can do that to a girl.” Oh, ROWENA. You’re so deviously evil but we love you!

She points out the tracking spell on the Grimoire is her spell, so they will need her to find the book. She then asks about Crowley. Awkward!

Jennie and Jamie are at a hardware store gathering supplies (they even find one soul to sacrifice in aisle six). Nothing weird about walking around your local Ace Hardware reading an ancient text of witchcraft. Also, they have the NERVE to insult Brenda.

Rowena shows real remorse over her dead son after the brothers fill her in on Crowley’s death. She also can’t believe that the witch sisters outfoxed Sam and Dean for the book. And then she asks Dean if they got “to fifth base.” Me and a lot of other people didn’t know that term (I imagine the Google tech on watch that night was like, wtf?). Fanfiction, you failed us! How in Chuck’s holy name did canon Supernatural do this first? In any event, Dean “Chinese basket trick” Winchester totally denied knowing that “fifth base” exists. Yeah, he’s a poor sheltered boy. But Rowena moves on. What’s bi by is bi by, amirite? Dean Bean’s little guilty face. (hearts) So, yeah, Rowena tries to kinda out Dean to get her way, but he will not budge.

Jennie and Jamie survey the book over their mother’s corpse. Jennie worries about failing at the resurrection spell they want to try and they bolster each other. “I, like, really believe in us,” Jamie says earnestly. Off in the corner, the store clerk holds a bouquet of flowers. He, like, really believes in them too! He sits still with a soppy smile on his face as he’s stabbed to death, his soul contributing to their resurrection attempt.

The Impala rolls into Stillwater, Oklahoma. Rowena has tracked the book to the general vicinity but can’t pinpoint it further. It’s time for a little old fashioned hunting. Dean asks “Red” where the book is (and I’m gleeful over the nickname which I’m convinced betrays some underlying fondness). She scornfully informs him that magic doesn't function like GPS. They’re going to have to do some old-fashioned detective work - unless they want to magically interrogate everyone to save time. Yeah. No. Rowena has to stay in the car and Sam will look after her!

Sasstiel, meanwhile, is roundly abusing Lucifer, telling him that he’s useless and weak and will die alone. Their demon guard approaches and heads to his favorite taunting target: Lucifer. Lucifer channels all the rage he’s been storing up from Castiel’s insults and mojos the demon against the bars. He reaches through the wardings and stabs his little twig into the demon’s neck. Cas casually steps out of his cell and blasts the demon into oblivion.

*Fans self*

It turns out that Lucifer got so worked up, thanks to Sasstiel’s taunting and his general predicament, that he broke through his wardings and busted them out. Team Angel then worked together to kill the demon and nab his angel blade. Their advantage doesn’t last for long. Several other demons show up and the rest of their battle for freedom begins.

Out in Oklahoma, Rowena is bored times one billion. She chats up Sam and the two have a fascinating discussion of Rowena’s vulnerability and the trauma they both suffered from Lucifer. We learn that Lucifer showed both Rowena and Sam his true face - and it’s apparently nightmare-inducing.

While Sam and Rowena are baring their souls, Dean heads in to the hardware store. He chats up the cashier, who’s well acquainted with the witches. She’s no fan of them and Dean sweetens his information request by telling her, “If it helps, I don’t plan on being nice about it when I do find them.”

“You gonna be really mean?” she asks, giving him their information. “‘Cause it’s about damn time someone was.” She then ogles Dean’s ass as he leaves which...yeah. SAME BRENDA. Same.

Back in the car, Sam’s still having a heart to heart with Rowena. He tells her nothing she does will matter - she’ll never feel safe. Sam...what a ray of frickin’ sunshine. Jokes aside, this remains an excellent glimpse into Sam’s poor, repressed little head. Rowena steps out of the car for a little air when Dean walks up with the address. Rowena is all ready to head out and get the book when the Winchesters tell her she’s got to stay at the car.

“Eff that noise,” Rowena essentially says, dropping a hex bag that freezes the boys to the pavement. They’re both tall men so it’s fun to watch them flail for the hex bag. Like, use your heads, my dudes? Sam! Take off your jacket and sweep the hex bag towards you! (Me: remembers Sam not taking off his jacket to smother a fire and decides it’s a trend.)

Rowena lets herself into the witches’ house. “You were supposed to get the book and wait for me,” she hisses. Yessss Rowena for the double crossing win! The sisters sputter excuses and then tell Rowena it’s too late to stop them from using the book. They already mostly succeeded at casting a spell from it. Enter: mommy dearest as a delightfully hungry...zombie. “Not my first zombie, love,” Rowena says casually and tries to kill it. But the zombie is magic-proof and chases her through the house.

Sam finally reaches the hex bag, they burn it, and the Winchesters head out to stop all the witchly shenanigans.

Outside of Hell headquarters, Cas and Lucifer regroup, waiting for more demons to descend. Lucifer nags Cas to let him consume some of his grace again and….blech. Lucifer, you SUCK.

“Fool me once,” Cas tells Lucifer. There’s no way he’s going to give him his grace as a temporary fix. Lucifer takes a swipe at Cas who in turn stabs Lucifer. “This is me learning from my mistakes,” Cas growls. CAAAAAAAAAS! (Boris: This is such a beautiful line.)

Back at the witches’ house, Rowena counsels herself for strength. “It’s just a magical zombie! You’ve dealt with magical zombies before, Rowena.” She searches for weaponry in the little kitchen and low key bargains for her life with the witch sisters. Fortunately, the Winchesters bust in to serve up a great distraction.

The Winchesters point their guns at Jamie and Jennie and announce that the guns are full of witch killing bullets. Dudes. Just. Shoot first and be smug later, okay? Jamie and Jennie get the upper hand. “Sammy,” Dean grunts. “They’re really weirdly strong.” Apparently the witches have been trying out strength spells as well. Smart!

The zombie breaks into the kitchen and starts trying to eat Rowena. She shouts for suggestions from the Winchesters. “Shoot her in the head,” Dean suggests. Thank you, Deano. She shoots the zombie then bespells the sisters, setting them on each other. Jennie and Jamie stab each other to death.

Afterward, Rowena cradles the book, crowing about her successful TRIPLE cross. Clearly, she planned everything to be this way. Uh huh. Sam takes the book and Rowena gives him a pleading look. She begs him to not let her be helpless again and Sam takes the book from her anyway. He stares after her, clearly affected by her plight.

Later in the bunker, Dean grumbles about his injuries and how the case went down. “You know Rowena is not our friend, right?” he asks, opening the book to reveal a ripped out page. (God does nobody understand PHOTOCOPIES? SCANS? A neat transcription? For fuck’s sake.) Sam protests that Rowena didn’t get into his head - he didn’t get played. Sam promises that he’ll kill Rowena if she goes bad. But if she sees Lucifer again, Sam wants her to make him suffer.

Sam finally confesses his feelings of helplessness to Dean. His plan of helping Jack and saving their mom went awry. His wheels are spun out. Dean assures him that they’ll figure it out...together.

In a quiet room, Rowena does a candlelit spell using the ripped out page. She slices the binding spell from her and the bonds appear as mystical purple shackles that snap one by one. Rowena gasps in ecstasy and then her eyes glow purple with power. Rowena is BACK, baby, and like we’ve never seen her before.

Natasha: I really enjoyed this episode and all of Rowena's morally suspect and devious ways!

The Quoting Grimoire:

What’s with the hammer?

That’s a nice, horrifying plan

We should get out of here in case the one with the hair actually wins

Turns out rage is a good motivator

You always say a lot.

Well, lover?

Did they get to fifth base?

What’s by is by.

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

#spn recap #spn picspam #spn 13x12 #various and sundry villains #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel #cas #rowena macleod #lucifer #supernatural season 13

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authoressskr · 6 years

Text

Last Christmas (Part Two)

Pairings: Gabriel x Reader (Past), Gadreel x Reader (Current) AU ++ Warnings: Angst, Language ++ Based on the song “Last Christmas” by Wham! Song Lyrics in Italics ++ Word Count: 2312

Note: Do NOT repost, copy and paste, post or share my works on any other platform without my EXPRESS PERMISSION. -+- REBLOGGING is fine! -+-

When Gabriel entered the mansion, decorated in deep purples and silvers this year, he felt a fresh, deep wave of guilt wash over him.

Last Christmas had been so immeasurably different. It set an ache in his chest, praying that he could explain everything to her - get her to understand why he’d panicked and ran - not that it could ever excuse what he’d done.

And he knew that.

Just past the foyer, stood his father and two older brothers with bright, easy smiles that slid off their faces when they saw him. Michael gave him a disapproving glance before disappearing further inside.

“Gabriel,” Lucifer calls softly, gesturing him closer. “Long time, no see little brother.”

“Gabriel.” His father’s voice is tight, blue eyes just as piercing as when he was little and done something he knew was wrong. “How’s Kali?” Gabriel’s smiling facade faltered for a second.

“I wouldn’t know. I dropped in to see her, but a friend clued me in that she was angrily planning her wedding. So, I turned tail and came back about a month later.”

“Didn’t stay,” Michael said solemnly, returning to join his brother and their father.

“Uh, no. She wasn’t here, and I needed to apologize, so I checked in with Benny and Samadriel about the shop and decided I’d come back in about a month.” Gabriel swallowed, his honey eyes distance. “And that changed into another month. Then three. Then four.”

“It’s been a year, Gabriel. Things have changed.” Chuck warned before moving into the large hallway where the majority of the party took place.

“Things never change here.” Gabriel scoffed, rolling his eyes at Lucifer with a big grin.

“Shut up.” Michael hissed before following their father, Lucifer putting his hand on his chest with mock tears in his eyes.

“He said shut up to me,” his voice higher before fanning himself as Gabriel rolled his eyes and headed inside.

He was making his way closer to the bar, ready for a bit of liquid courage when he thought he spotted her, making him do nearly a triple take to confirm the fact.

The year had been kind to her.

Her hair was longer, skin aglow as she was handed two flutes of champagne before tossing her head back to laugh at something the bartender had said as “It Came Upon A Midnight Clear” last bars rang through the room and a familiar tune started.

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart

But the very next day you gave it away

This year, to save me from tears

I'll give it to someone special

The black peplum dress fit her to a tee, nearly making him groan aloud with those icy blue heels.

But it was his blood that ran cold when he saw who she stopped in front of -- his younger brother, Gadreel -- who was smiling like an idiot while he bounced a baby in his arms to the Christmas tune. Gad took the champagne flute from your hand before bowing down to kiss her as a crushing sensation squeezed his heart and simultaneously knocked the air from his lungs. Gadreel set the flute on the table just behind him, wrapping his now free hand around her waist, before you two begin swaying to the music.

Balthazar then appeared, setting his half-filled whiskey tumbler on the table just behind Gad before plucking the baby from his arms and taking her tiny hand around his forefinger and bouncing gently as Gadreel swept her into his arms, the both of you now dancing properly to the song. Gabriel’s throat tightened as he watched your fingers link through Gad’s, how you two were lost in your own world.

Like the two of you had last Christmas.

But that wasn’t right either…

Once bitten and twice shy

I keep my distance

But you still catch my eye

He’d felt possessive last Christmas, eager to have all her love and attention. But Gadreel didn’t look that way. The look in his eyes when he stared at you was identical to the softness she’d bestowed on him last year.

Gabriel loved you.

But it looked like he wasn’t the only one.

He wished he’d come back sooner now. Maybe then you would still love him.

Well, it's been a year

It doesn't surprise me

Gabriel changes direction, hiding behind a small throng of party-goers as Castiel approaches Balthazar, who is seated a few tables away from where he began, cooing at the baby in his hands who gives a high-pitched, sad little cry. The cry is another pain in Gabriel’s heart, coming to a stop a bit behind his brother.

“Our little princess sounds hungry.” Cas’s deep voice sounds serious, matching the little wrinkles in his forehead.

“Best be heading to see mommy,” There is a fondness in Balthazar’s voice Gabriel hasn’t heard in awhile. Cas takes hold of the baby, cradling the little girl in the tiny crimson dress to his chest and sets off towards Y/N, Balthazar walking in step with him as the two men sing-song “The Itsy Bitsy Spider”, with Gabriel trailing behind him now like a shadow, trying to get a glimpse of the baby’s face.

Now, I know what a fool I've been

So lost in the own whirling of his mind, he doesn’t notice that his brothers had stopped and runs mostly into Cas, drawing all attention of the little group to himself.

My god, I thought you were someone to rely on

“Gabriel?” Your voice is a whisper in the busy room, but it rings loudly in Gabriel’s ears.

“Is that my baby?” He blurts out as Gadreel’s jaw tightens in tandem with the arm around your waist.

A man under cover but you tore me apart

“Yes.” Gabriel sucks in a breath, the truth he’d immediately suspected suddenly standing right in front of him, demanding acknowledgment.

Now, I've found a real love you'll never fool me again

“We - we should talk.” Gabriel manages to stutter out.

“You can come to your dad’s house tomorrow for Christmas breakfast to talk.” Her voice left no room for argument, gathering your - his - daughter in her arms before she takes a few steps towards the grand carpeted staircase.

“What’s her name?” Y/N pauses to look behind her, taking a deep breath as tears well up in her eyes.

“Wren Gabriella Shurley.”

---

“You should follow after her.” Gadreel’s face is a hard mask as he looks down at Gabriel. Gabriel nods, willing his body forward only to be grabbed firmly by Balthazar.

“This doesn’t excuse you from the ass-kicking we’re all going to dole out,” Gabriel smirks at his little brother.

“I expected nothing less, big boy.”

---

Y/N raised an eyebrow at Gabriel’s presence but said nothing, tending to the baby at her breast.

The click of the door behind him, shutting the noise and music out, reminds Gabriel that last year, they’d have been doing the polar opposite of now - Gabriel standing awkwardly by the door.

“Shhh. It’s okay. It’s okay.” She comforts the squirming baby, gently patting her butt as Gabriel looks around the room, suddenly even more at a loss. He moves closer, taking the chair opposite the little loveseat you were perched on, his nerves suddenly swallowing him whole.

“Y/N -” He started, but as soon as you lifted your gaze to meet his, he wants to bolt. It was like being sucked into an abyss of clashing emotion, each trying to clamor it’s way to the forefront - all of it swirling in your beautiful eyes.

“You left me.” You say it so simply and devoid of most emotion, but he sees how hard you swallow and he knows you’re trying not let all the emotions get the better of you.

“I did,” Gabriel answers, ashamedly, ducking his head a bit. “But, it’s...I know this is cliche, but it wasn’t anything to do with you. I realized I was in love with you. Completely. Madly. Consumingly. But, Y/N, I laid there and just kept thinking about how fucked up I am. How you deserve better than me. And how much I was already gonna hurt you when I ran.” His eyes search yours for a sign, for anything. “But I couldn’t fucking stop myself.”

“I didn’t want anyone else, Gabriel.” You admit, a few tears spilling from your eyes before you look away.

“I stared at the odometer, watching each mile pass by...knowing I could turn around and go back and you’d forgive me and-and love me.”

“I called.” She whispers, nearly choking on the words. “I texted. I wrote. I emailed. I-I did everything I could think of, Gabriel. Chuck told me - you know, he told me it wasn’t my fault, that this was your issue - but that you loved me, and you’d be back sooner rather than later.” The baby wriggles once more in her grasp and she breaks eye contact to adjust her. “But you didn’t,” Y/N sniffles a little. “Not even when I called about Wren.”

“I’m so fucking sorry. I am. And I know, I know, that I can’t undo what I’ve done to you...but I won’t run again. I want you to know that. I-I won’t.” She doesn’t seem too moved by his declaration, moving the light purple blanket she’d been holding loosely around Wren to her shoulder before repeating the motion with the baby, softly patting her back.

“I found out February 4th, you know. I called and called and called.” Her chest stutters a little as she takes a deeper breath. “Texted too. She was due the 10th of September.” She smiles fondly at the memory before smoothly tugging the zipper back up on the side of her dress. “She decided to wait three more days. Keep me in suspense, I guess.” Tucking the blanket back into the bag before setting her on your knee with a strained grin. “I’d given up trying to communicate, but when we arrived at the hospital, I tried to call one last time. Your daughter will be here soon. Y/N.” A tight smile is what is offered to Gabriel, one he grabs onto for dear life. “Chuck, Cas, and Gadreel all voted for one last attempt at contact. Michael, Lucifer, Balthazar and Samadriel all voted no.”

“Why’d you do it then?”

“I voted yes too. And since I was still very round with child, I was technically worth two votes.” A few more errant tears slip down her cheeks. “If you would have come back anytime before April, I would have fallen right back into your arms, Gabriel.” A shaky smile is exchanged between the two of them. “I would’ve fallen right back into your arms, Gabe.” She shifts Wren so she’s facing Gabriel, the baby’s eyes this lighter color Gabriel can’t quite nail down, a small line of drool running from her tiny mouth around her fist as he stares at her in wonder. “You know that song that was playing outside? Last Christmas, I gave you my heart. But the very next day you gave it away. This year, to save me from tears. I'll give it to someone special. Well, Gabe, I have.” The heartbroken edge of her voice makes his gaze shift from Wren to Y/N.

“Now I know what a fool I’ve been… Y/N - I can’t change what I’ve done, but I still love you and I want to be here for you two.”

“You can be here for Wren.” She stands, tears falling onto the expensive carpeting. “I can’t love you anymore, Gabriel. It really fucked me up and - and I can’t take that kind of pain or betrayal again. I’m just not strong enough. Your family took me in. They loved me and cared for me when you wouldn’t.”

“Gadreel especially.” Gabriel’s normally unfazed voice has a tinge of bitterness and dismissiveness to it.

“Yes, Gabriel. Gad went with me to every appointment. He held me when I cried myself to sleep in the early months. He took care of, not only your business but also his fucking own job. Gadreel was here - waiting for me to get to a place to trust him.” Gabriel watches all the emotions roll through your eyes again before, the calm before the storm, it suddenly stops. And revealed in those depths was the same look you’d had after you said you loved him, knowing he loved you. But it wasn’t for him this time.

It would never be for him again.

“And just -- one day, it was love. I honestly didn’t think I was gonna be able to love anyone for a long while after you left me alone in your apartment, but I was lying in bed, nearly full term and huge, staring at this beautiful man who was slumped over sleeping in a chair when it suddenly hit me. I’m in love with Gadreel. Part - part of me felt so terrible. I love this man and I’m carrying his wayward brother’s child and I’m a terrible person for taking all his love and care and not reciprocating it enough.” Y/N’s eyes hardened, swallowing hard as she shifted Wren from her left to her right arm. “He deserves to be loved. And so do I, Gabriel.” She slips the baby bag onto her left shoulder before flashing him another tight smile. “If you want to be the man I know you can be for her, come tomorrow for Christmas. And don’t run out on her.”

“I can do that,” Gabriel affirms, watching her and their child disappear behind the heavy mahogany door. He can hear the crinkle of paper in his pocket as he stands, fishing out the note he’d written her before he’d left last Christmas.

Y/N,

When I said, ‘I love you’, I meant it. Every damn letter.

Forgive me,

Gabriel

Tagging: @nobodys-baby-now @unleashthemidnight @thewhiterabbit42 @sumara62 @ourloveisforthelovely @lucis-unicorn @chelsea072498 @clockworkmorningglory @sakurablossom4

#gabriel x reader #Gabriel x reader au #supernatural angst #gadreel x reader #last christmas #supernatural reader insert #i'm sorry #authoressskr writes #last Christmas part two #Gabriel x reader au angst #I cried while writing this #angst and betrayal #Gabriel shurley #Christmas drabbles #December drabbles

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