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ssahotstuff · 2 years

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HOME//Aaron Hotchner x Reader PART 9

PART 8 is here

wordcount: 7K

MINORS, DNI!!! warnings for this chapter include: cursing, general criminal minds talk, cases, violence, that sort of thing, mental health!!!(this chapter touches a lot on taking care of yourself, and what happens if you dont.) health and pregnancy complications, a whole messy ass relationship, but i promise it wont be crazy forever.

DISCLAIMER: this is a reminder that this is a work of fiction, however there is a piece of my life in this entire story. good luck figuring out which parts, but i will say that I have gone through a medically diagnosed nervous breakdown, and the parts of my story that touch on that include some of the real life experiences i went through. when the time is right, i'll tell you guys everything.

i have been MIA for some time and I apologize. Here is part 9 of Home, and I hope to be updating more regularly again. I won't promise weekly because I'm still working through some things but i will promise to try my best. haha.. thanks for sticking it out guys.

I couldn't breathe, trapped in that little room. I stepped into the hall, ignoring the rest of my team as I found a nurse to see what was going on. She was polite enough, asking who I was looking for.

"Y/N L/N, I'm her fiancée, I'd like to see her please."

"Are you Aaron Hotchner?"

I nodded, her smile fading.

"If her blood pressure goes up even a fraction, her obgyn has advised us to remove you from her room. She needs to stay as calm as possible. The meds will only do so much."

I wondered if she saw the way my jaw clenched, the ticking of the vein in my throat like a drum pounding in my ear. It sounded like she was screaming at me from the end of a tunnel as she led me to her room, warning me a second time to keep her calm. She was nearly asleep when I came in, eyes fluttering shut the tiniest bit. Instead of announcing myself, I stood as still as possible until I saw her breathing slow and I knew she was sleeping.

She looked exhausted. Her eyes, usually bright and lively were dark, the circles beneath them more prominent now under the harsh glow of the lights. Her face was thinner, but her stomach was now an actual bump, I could see it clearly through her gown. I watched her gown tighten against her abdomen and move suddenly, and it took me a second to comprehend that my baby was big enough to kick inside of her. I watched in awe, placing my hand as lightly as I could on her stomach, trying not to disturb her.

"Well, hello," I whispered as another kick was delivered to my hand. I wondered if they knew my voice, or had I been gone so long that even my own baby forgot? I didn't even know if we were having a boy or a girl. All I knew was she was laying in front of me, and she had been fucking suffering. She'd begged me to listen to her and I shut her out, choosing my job over her, over Jack.

She was asleep and no one was around to see me cry, so I let it out. Every fucking bit of it. I'd been so selfish that I'd let her destroy herself all in the name of love. I wanted to scream, to tell her and God and everyone that I loved her and I never stopped. My actions now and even prior to this had been mediocre at best; she was so deserving and she had felt guilty asking for love.

She'd spent half of her pregnancy with Derek and Penelope for her primary source of comfort. She was so terrified to upset me that she endured it all alone. Not that she had much of a choice considering I'd not spoken to her. I hadn't known what to say, which was a pathetic excuse, so I stayed away. I waited for her to mail back my rings, or to call and give me no choice but to speak to her. But she never disrespected my wishes, and now I wished she had.

"I'm so sorry, baby," the words felt like knives, hot and sharp in the back of my throat. What could sorry possibly make up for now? I leaned my head against the bed, raising up suddenly when I felt her hand find mine, squeezing tightly.

"Hi," she whispered, and if I didn't know any better, I'd say she actually sounded happy to see me.

"Hi," I'd never moved my hand from her stomach, and she was watching me with curiosity as I let our baby kick me wildly.

"There's an envelope on the table, will you grab it?" I nodded, pulling myself away from her long enough to do as she asked. When I tried to hand it to her she shook her head, instructing me to open it.

Ultrasound pictures, 3 of them. I examined them all closely, holding my breath when I saw the last one.

"Don't leave me hanging," she joked, trying to sit up. I stood, helping her get comfortable before I told her anything. I had planned to sit back down in the chair but she pulled me back towards her, instructing me to sit beside her on the bed. She wanted me close, and I'd never argue with that. I let her slide over the tiniest bit so I could show her the photos in my hand.

"He's big. Healthy," I observed, showing her the first photo again. I could see his chubby cheeks plain as day.

"Oh! He's a boy!" She said excitedly, her eyes filled with tears as she examined each photo individually. She already loved him so much, I couldn't wait to see how she reacted once he was actually here.

"Shh, we have to keep you calm. Your doctor is very worried."

She nodded, directing her gaze away from me.

"I'm sorry. I should have told you, I know but-" I didn't give her time to finish, instead I wrapped my arms around her. It felt so good to hug her again. She gripped me back tightly, her fingers digging in my shoulders.

"How were you supposed to tell me when I wouldn't take your calls? This isn't your fault. You didn't do anything wrong," I told her, brushing her hair back from her face. I wanted to wrap her up and take her home, I'd never leave again if she'd forgive me for this. If she still wanted me around, I'd leave the FBI for good.

"I'm sorry I made you upset, that was never my intention, Aaron," the quivering of her voice melted any sort of wall I had left up.

"You didn't do anything wrong. I need you to understand that, okay? This wasn't you, this was me, and me entirely. I've done this to you multiple times. I don't understand why you even still want me around," I confessed, and as hard as it would be to watch her walk away from me forever, I'd do it to keep her happy.

"Aaron, I'd like to think I know you well enough to be certain this won't happen again," she was right. If she gave me another chance, I'd never fuck it up. I'd said that before, and I may not have meant it completely, but now, there wasn't a thing I wouldn't do to keep her.

"I have been so selfish. Part of me feels like it isn't right to come home because that's what I want. I stayed away because you deserve better."

She shook her head, blinking away tears.

"Quit being stubborn. That's been your issue this entire time. If you really care about me, you'll just let me love you with no consequences."

I raised my eyebrows at her, not entirely sure what she meant.

"You refuse to let yourself just be happy, Aaron. We have a family together, and I don't want that to change any time soon. But I need reciprocity. You'll let me in for a little bit and then you punish me for it."

I felt my skin flush at the realization that she was right. She'd stuck it out for longer than any person ever should, given my inability to completely commit to her. My career had been keeping me from the greatest person to ever walk into my life, not only that, I'd chosen it over her several times.

"I don't want to do that anymore," I sighed, my free hand on her stomach. I'd made life with her and left. She forgave me so quickly, but would I ever be able to forgive myself?

"He has strong legs," she chuckled, placing her hand over mine. Every time she spoke, he was all over the place, her stomach doing somersaults.

"Did you ever think you could love someone you barely know?" I said it mostly to myself, but she replied anyway.

"Absolutely."

✨✨✨

She dozed off shortly after, so I let her sleep, Emily, Derek and Penelope the only three left in the waiting room.

"How is she?" Penelope met me first, Emily and Derek still giving me the cold shoulder.

"She's okay. She's sleeping. Her OB is going to come down and make sure everything's okay, and then we'll be able to go home."

"We?" Derek questioned, and I turned to face him.

"Yes. We. That's what I said."

Emily stood to her feet, hands shoved deep in her pockets. I reached in my back pocket and handed her badge back to her.

"Hotch, you've got to do better. She deserves so much more than what you've given her."

"I know."

"Have her call us if she needs us," Derek said, leading Emily and Penelope towards the door, Derek giving me one last dirty look before I turned on my heel.

✨✨✨

Aaron was going to be home all the time. He'd broken the news about his retirement when he'd brought you home from the hospital. Jack wasn't due back for another week from camp, so you were hoping Aaron would take the time to actually settle in to the new house. He'd still never stayed the night there. He wouldn't let you lift a finger, settling you in the bed so he could find the two of you something to eat. You knew there was still a lot left to figure out, but he was home.

He'd put on one of your favorite movies, and went to shower. You could hear him singing over the light hum of the water, and the sound made you wash over with relief. Had you ever even heard him sing with the radio? Or at all? You couldn't remember, but it was heavenly nonetheless. By the time he was dressed and joining you, you were starving.

"We'll order something if you want," he suggested, crawling next to you, his legs crossed. You could tell he was unsure of how to act around you, which was no-ones fault but his own. You'd only had him consistently for a couple weeks since he'd been back from Pakistan, and despite the love you both had for each other, you both knew it would take a while for things to be back to normal. You'd been patient for almost a year now, you didn't mind waiting just a little bit longer.

"Is he awake?" He was nodding towards your stomach, so you lifted your shirt, Aaron's eyes going wide before both of his large hands met your stomach. It didn't take much to wake him up, Aaron rubbing gently until you saw him kick wildly at his father's palm.

"We've got to get started on the nursery," he mentioned, distracted by his son moving back and forth from him to hip. You still hadn't bought anything for the nursery. A few blankets, some gender neutral clothes, but that was it.

"We've got to get started on everything. I haven't even picked out any names."

The most confusing thing about Aaron was how loved he could make you feel, how complete you felt around him, and then when he was gone, you felt the opposite. You hoped with him being around, he wouldn't start to despise you and the time you spent together.

"We'll start after you see your doctor Friday, I want to make sure you're both healthy before you're on your feet all day."

You told him about the blood pressure monitor in the room downstairs you'd been staying in and asked if he'd bring it up, and he did, helping you situate it on your arm before he turned it on. For the first time in weeks, it was perfectly normal.

"That's a relief," he breathed, sliding the cuff off you. He let you decide on dinner, the two of you staying in bed the majority of the day just enjoying having one another back around.

✨✨✨

Aaron's POV

When we'd came home for the day, I had no clue it would be spent like this. The two of us being as lazy as possible, watching our baby kick and tossing name suggestions back and forth. The only thing we'd agreed on so far was a middle name. Haley had chosen Jack's name, but Y/N wanted the final decision to be mine.

"Let me go and grab the food, I think I heard the doorbell," I kissed her head and went downstairs, the smell of steak fajitas making my mouth water. Y/N craved all the best foods.

"For my lady," I handed the plate to her and she took it gratefully, beaming up at me.

"I'm so glad you're back," she whispered, my hands meeting her cheeks to cup her face and shower her with kisses. Hearing her laugh was melodious and if I could have recorded it and put it on repeat, I would have.

"I'm sorry I left in the first place," I mumbled against her lips, soft and plump against my own. It had been so long since she'd touched me that I'd almost been afraid I'd forget what it felt like. The neediness behind her lips was a sign that she felt the same way.

"Don't be sorry, just don't do it again," she pleaded, and I knew if I left again, she'd be gone when I returned. It was an unspoken agreement the two of us made to one another; it wasn't exactly agreed upon so much as it would be inevitable if I were to fuck up again.

"I want you to know I never ever stopped loving you. There wasn't a day that I didn't think about you. I mean that. I thought me being gone would make your life easier."

She shook her head, picking at her food.

"It didn't. It made things worse. For both of us. I can't promise that Jack isn't going to be angry with you."

I was expecting it and it still hurt. I'd been disappointing him for the majority of his life. If I ever wanted to salvage a relationship with him, I had to start now.

"That's understandable."

"He's probably going to be very iffy on the idea of you being home full time until he sees that you're for real. The last time you told him that was the last time he saw you."

The pit in my stomach grew until I thought I may burst at the seams with emotion. The reality of my actions was the thing I was most afraid to face. She'd forgiven me so easily. Her love was unconditional. Jack wouldn't be so easily swayed. Being a full time father was going to be harder than working.

"I know I can never get that time back, but I'll do everything to make the time we have left something to remember."

She took an actual bite of food while she thought about what I'd said.

"That's good enough for me."

Over the passing days while we waiting on Jack to arrive back home from camp, we waited to get the okay from her doctor before we did anything too strenuous. I'd been keeping a close watch on her blood pressure, making her stay in bed or at least off her feet for the majority of the day. Derek and Garcia visited almost daily, bringing her favorite snacks, flowers, and a multitude of oversized stuffed animals.

That was all Penelope, and she claimed they were for the baby, which is why they weren't immediately returned upon arrival. Y/N was more than thrilled to put them in the nursery on display.

"So, you gonna tell us what you're having?" Derek questioned, eyeing me suspiciously. Y/N gave me a nod of approval, so we told them we were having another boy.

They were the first ones to know, and I know she wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

By the time we went to her doctors appointment on Friday, I was a nervous wreck. Her doctor was not a fan of me, and I'm sure me popping up this late into her pregnancy was a cause for some red flags.

Other than a few dirty looks, Dr. Sandra kept her comments to herself, pleased with her blood pressure. She told her that we'd been monitoring it at home as well, and that eased a lot of Dr. Sandra's worries. Unless her bp spiked abnormally again, she was back to visiting once every two weeks.

As promised, I got her a decaf coffee and we were going shopping to celebrate. We spent hours in the mall, picking out clothes, some baby toys, and a some legos and clothes for Jack also. I hadn't been able to spoil the new baby yet, and I hadn't really been around since Christmas, so they deserved the pampering.

Her favorite item of all was a stuffed Pooh bear. Plain, yellow, not even wearing a t-shirt. She found it first and it set the theme for the day: a nursery with little bears all over the place. She found a honey pot lamp at a second hand store, and a beautiful white changing table with a yellow changing pad that had a spot at our home before she even realized she wanted it.

"We should probably get you home and off your feet," I said softly, hands full as she led the way to the car. She opened the hatch and left me to play jenga with the stack of baby things packed full in the SUV. It made my heart swell to still be able to participate in things like this after how royally I'd fucked her life up. I was more than grateful; in fact, grateful didn't even describe it. I knew eventually we'd have to have a real conversation about how things were going to be now that I was home full time, but for now, things seemed okay.

"I was thinking maybe we could do something different," I said slowly as I adjusted myself in the drivers seat. She eyed me curiously, eyes darting to my hand on the console before she laced her fingers through mine. It was hesitant, cold, almost. I gripped her hand tightly, turning on the air so I could turn my attention to her. She looked so radiant. She most likely didn't feel it after the last two months, but she was glowing in every way the human body knew how.

"Can we go out to dinner? I can't recall a single time since I've known you that we've been out to dinner, just the two of us."

She went quiet before she released my hand, recoiling away and turning her body to the window.

"We've been together for 7 and a half months. That's like, the upwards of 215 days. We've been together 17 whole days in that time, as in waking up and going to bed together at night. 6 of those don't count because you left for work and ever came back. That doesn't leave a ton of room for dinner dates."

"How on earth do you know that?" I shook my head in disbelief, amazed and horrified that she'd be keeping track. I'm sure when you don't have anything else to do, anyone else to talk to, all that's left is to count the ways that you've been deserted.

"I've mapped out every detail of the last 7 months for weeks now trying to figure out what went wrong. What I could have possibly done that made you angry enough to not even speak to me on the phone. I'm drawing a blank every single time, because now that you're here, you're the perfect man. It's almost sickening how good you are to me when you want to be. But I can't sit here and act like the good you're doing now outweighs the crushing weight of what you've done."

I didn't realize a statement as simple as dinner together could derail our entire afternoon, but I should have expected it. She'd been too calm, had entirely too much time to think. She'd waited until she knew our son was safe, and she unleashed her feelings on me. She'd been quiet the majority of the day, which didn't throw me off at all. She had every right to be distant from me and I didn't hold that against her. But she'd been eerily complacent about my return home until now.

"You have every right to be angry. But please try to remember your body isn't just yours right now."

She took a deep breath, staring out the window. I could see the pain on her face as she tried to find the words to say to me.

"I know that. You had no disregard for me or this baby when you left us. Do you have any clue what you've actually done? The damage you've caused? Do you even care?"

"Of course I care! Would I be working tirelessly to make up for it if I didn't care? I don't mean to be hateful, but fuck. You don't make this easy at all," She scoffed, and I didn't blame her. I'd regretted the words as soon as I'd said them. I was unprepared for the confrontation, and I was reacting poorly in retaliation.

"I think I made things a little too easy actually. I should have left you the morning you ditched me when we had plans to go to Rossi's later. There were nothing but red flags. You practically begged to fuck me and then punished me for touching you too much. And I let you do it! Every single time you said that you were done with the BAU, I told you to go. I always pushed you to choose your own happiness and you never chose mine."

The anger was gone now. It was replaced by so much pain that I couldn't bring myself to do anything but wonder how I'd talk myself out of this mess.

"Why did you leave the hospital with me if you hate me so much? Why haven't you left? I'll tell you why. You love this. It must be the fact that chasing after my affection reminds you of your mother," I spat, adding whatever fuel to the fire that I could. It wasn't until all of the sound had been sucked out of the vehicle and I was left with stone cold silence that the power of my words truly set in.

"I didn't mean that. That was inexcusable and I'm sorry."

She shook her head, gaze set forward on the parking lot.

"I want to go home please."

There was no fight left in her voice. She had completely given up on any chance of repairing our relationship because I had said something so atrocious that she'd lost all of her light.

The ride felt like ages. She carried some of the lighter things inside and left me to get the rest, shutting the nursery door after I'd brought in all the bags. I left her alone, pouring myself a drink in the kitchen. It was barely 2 pm, so I took a self guided tour of the house she'd lived in alone. She'd still managed to capture elements of me in decorating, especially with my office. I wanted to break down when I discovered the freshly printed photo of her and Jack, smiling from ear to ear on my desk, laughing back at me.

She'd came into my life and made everything easier and in return, I ruined her. I took advantage of her every move, betrayed every ounce of trust she'd given me. I'd managed to do the one thing she asked me not to: I chose my job over her and Jack, and she still stayed. She did more than stay; she'd raised my son on her own with zero promise of my return. No normal person would put up with that from anyone. It had been so evident that she loved me from the beginning that I'd never entertained the thought of losing her until it was too late.

✨✨✨

"I hope you know you have every right to tell him how you feel. He's not been very nice the last few months," Penelope's voice was more of a comfort than she could have ever known, considering you'd just unleashed fury on Aaron.

"You don't understand, Pen. He... He said I loved him because chasing after his love reminds me of my mother."

Repeating the words out loud felt worse than the initial sting once you'd registered the merit you had with him, which was none at all. He was so hardened by work that he could turn off his emotions to emotionally backhand you in any way that would shut you up. It had worked, and it always did. It was his most effective counter-measure, and it had been the straw that broke your back.

You struggled with the idea of raising a baby alone, and what would happen to Jack once you left. Surely Aaron would let you remain in his life; you two were connected forever now that there was a child involved. However, he wasn't always the warmest man, and you had no doubt that he'd make things more difficult than they had to be.

"Can you forgive that? Honestly? I really think you should stay here with me,-"

You cut her off before she could even finish.

"Jack will be home tomorrow. I can't just leave Jack. I don't want to leave him either but he's given me nothing to fight for. Loving him has only hurt me."

You were ashamed to admit that you felt used. You'd willingly handed him your life, your devotion, and he had betrayed it all for his job.

"When you decide what you want to do, Derek and I will do whatever it takes to help, okay? You're not alone. I promise."

You allowed yourself to break down, the nursery and the house encapsulating you like a tomb. Aaron could live here forever under the same roof as you and never look your way again. It would be effortless for him, and despite your dying relationship with him, you were afraid you'd never have the strength to leave him for Jack and the baby's sake. If there was anything salvageable of your relationship, he'd have to be the one to save it. Up to this point, you'd been saving him with no regard for yourself. It was time to let him take control and rescue you.

You sorted through everything you'd bought, which still didn't seem like much compared to what you still had left to accomplish. The majority of the furniture had to be assembled, so you had no choice but to go find Aaron. When you found him, he was packing up his office, and you were terrified that it meant he was leaving.

"Can I come in?" Your voice was hoarse, causing him to turn sharply on his heel at the sound.

"You don't have to ask," he replied, motioning to the empty desk chair for you to sit down. You didn't want to admit it, but the climb up the stairs hurt your body more than it should have. You sighed in relief once you'd sat down and Aaron was instantly alarmed.

"I'm going to check your blood pressure, is that alright? You look flushed," he was stalking down the hall to your bedroom to find the monitor, leaving you speechless. The level of concern was sweet, or it would have been if he hadn't already ruined your day.

Once the cuff was on your arm and the numbers flashed across the screen, Aaron was nearly mortified.

"It's lower than usual, but it's still high," you explained, which didn't make him feel any better.

"You should let me take you to the hospital."

You shook your head, afraid if you left the house, you wouldn't get to come back. Your doctor would kick him out of any future appointments if you were admitted, and it was just not a good idea all around if you could avoid it.

"I'll just get some rest."

"Damn it, quit being stubborn! You don't get to be selfish anymore! You're a mother now, for fucks sake. Think about someone other than yourself," he snapped, blinking blankly at you when you didn't give him a reaction. He was in no position to preach about the obligations of parenthood and he was aware of that.

"I'll call Penelope," you told him, making your way across the room. He stood in front of the door, blocking your only exit.

"No. I'll drive you. I'll leave you there if that's what you want, but this is just as much my child as yours. I deserve to know what's happening."

You stayed silent and let him lead you to the car. The ride seemed a lot longer than it should have because he refused to say anything. There was no issue of apology, no comfort. In ways, him being gone was better than this by far. At least there weren't any expectations for him to fall short of when he was off working. Now, when he was forced to be held accountable, his emotions were stripped away entirely.

His jaw was set sharply, ticking in rhythm with the watch on his wrist. You hadn't even realized he'd swapped the Rolex you'd bought him with a watch you'd never seen before.

"Your watch."

"Hmmm?"

You cleared your throat, trying not to let your voice break.

"Your watch is different."

He nodded, trailing his fingers over the band around his wrist.

"I found this one in my office earlier. I'd forgotten about it."

"It looks like the watch from all of Jack's baby pictures."

"That's because it is. Haley bought it for me right before Jack was born."

You knew any argument involving Haley was something to avoid at all costs. You'd never mention her, not even now, when the personal cut had stung so harshly that you wanted to yell every obscenity you knew. He was doing it on purpose to try to illicit a reaction from you. You kept silent instead, not speaking again until you were being triaged and you had to answer questions on your own because Aaron had no clue.

The doctor would ask a general question about your health and Aaron would be clueless. He didn't even know your due date.

"Her obstetrician has advised us to remove you if her bp continues to rise. I don't know the circumstances, but I hope you wouldn't do anything to put the mother of your child in any unnecessary harm." The doctor, who introduced himself as Dr. Summers, shot a glare at Aaron who sat statue still in the only available chair in the room.

"I'd never do anything to jeopardize my son's health," Aaron defended, and it became clear that his worry wasn't for you, but rather a baby that he'd left just the same.

"Your son wouldn't have survived this long without the woman carrying him." Dr. Summers countered, his face covered in irritation. "Mr. Hotchner, I will not repeat myself. If you do anything to upset her in the slightest, you will be removed from the premises indefinitely."

Aaron nodded, the nurse giving you a sympathetic smile as she started you on an IV of fluids.

"I'm afraid I may have to keep you overnight. I won't know for certain until I consult with your OB, but I'm worried that stress will send you into early labor."

"Early labor?" Aaron's voice was strained, the muscles in his neck throbbing against the collar of his shirt.

"That is what I said. What's in the house isn't safe if the house is falling apart, wouldn't you'd agree, Mr. Hotchner? Her body is like a burning building, and your baby is trying to escape."

His hand reached for yours, his palm heavy on top of yours as the weight of his actions surrounded the two of you.

Doctor Summers sighed at the harshness of his analogy, pausing before he left the room.

"I'll do everything I can to help your wife and child, but I will not hesitate to throw you out of this hospital if there's a medical need to do so. I understand you're worried about your child, but she is suffering greatly, and according to her chart, that's no fault of her own."

"I understand, Doctor. Thank you."

The soft shut of the door left you alone with someone you'd never seen. You'd certainly never seen him upset before, not like he was now. His hand wrapped around yours but he couldn't meet your eyes. You knew if he did, he'd crumble. You could tell by the shaking of his hands, and his knee bouncing nervously that the same worries you'd had for months were finally surfacing for him as well.

"Where do we go from here?" The quivering of his voice made it nearly unrecognizable as he looked to you for answers. The man who always had a solution had no idea how to handle the terrifying reality that he'd landed you and your son in urgent care, all because he had no clue how to love anyone other than himself.

"I'm not sure. I'm scared, Aaron."

He let out a breath before he climbed onto the edge of the bed, so you slid over so he could sit next to you. You let your anger dissolve for the moment; the safety of your son was the only thing you could focus on, and Aaron's comfort was much needed. It came a bit too late, but he was trying more now than before.

"I can't even imagine, baby. I'm terrified, and it's not even my body. You've given me more than enough chances to be what you need and I let you down every time. I have said some horrible things to you when I've been angry, and I don't even give you the opportunity to argue back."

You wouldn't argue back with him, not in the degree that he tried to instigate. It wasn't in your nature. Speaking up when you were hurt was difficult enough, but the thought of actually having to stand and argue with Aaron made your blood run cold. He wanted you to hurt him too so he wasn't the only one left to apologize; you'd seen the same behavior in too many people growing up to miss it.

"If you want to stay with me, I'd really like that. But if you don't, I'll understand. You don't have to answer now, but I'll be here for you regardless of what you decide. I'm not leaving you again, and I know I've said it before, but this time, I'll come through for you."

✨✨✨

She managed to doze off despite the constant beeping of the monitors she was attached to, so I crept down the hall to find a cafeteria and grab a cup of coffee. I sent Derek and Penelope a courtesy text to let them know what had happened and that I'd update them when I knew more. Truthfully, I wanted to explain as little as possible to them, because they already knew. I'd been gone and in return, I'd turned her world upside down.

Doctor Summers stopped me on my way into her room, halting me with a gentle hand.

"I should apologize, Mr. Hotchner. I was out of line earlier."

I shook my head, assuring him that he was right.

"You had every right. She should have been my main focus this entire time. I've not been around, and that reflects."

"It does more than reflect. It's manifested, and it's consumed her. Her vision going out, the dizzy spells... It's not all preeclampsia. I'm convinced she's had a nervous breakdown some time in the last three months."

All I could do was stare at him in disbelief.

"She—what?"

"Has she been through anything traumatic in the last few months?"

I wasn't sure where to begin, so I briefly explained what had happened with her mother, why I came back from Pakistan, and then essentially why I turned around and left her again.

"How long did you stay out of work after all that happened with her mother?"

I tried to think back to then, but other than the weekend that was already my off time, I hadn't stayed a single day with her after. She had 2 days to try to recover and then I was gone again, dragging her through the same cycle until I was back.

"Not long enough."

"That's obvious, Mr. Hotchner. It's shocking to me that this is all that's happened. She is in a lot of pain, and you've ignored it. You're not together anymore, I'm assuming?"

"It's been touch and go lately."

"Well, if she had any sense whatsoever, she'd go as fast and as far from you as humanly possible. But I have a feeling she won't, because she obviously cares deeply for you, and after she's discharged, it's not my concern anymore. But while she's in my care, you'll respect her in my presence."

I gave him one last nod before he handed me her chart to look over.

"She's going to have to stay tonight. You should go home and pack a bag, Mr. Hotchner. This is home until we figure out how to help her."

✨✨✨

Back at the house, Jessica was waiting for me in the driveway. She'd came as soon as I called her, pacing the space in front of the door while I explained what was going on.

"The doctor thinks she's had a nervous breakdown. I'm not sure what that means for her or the baby, but I know Jack is going to be terrified that she isn't here. I don't want to uproot him after he's made a home with her here, but I can't let him stay at the hospital."

"Jesus, Aaron. I don't mind to take him back with me, obviously...A nervous breakdown? Is it because you left?"

I honestly didn't know what to tell her. I was ashamed that my actions had hurt her to the point that she couldn't function, but without me here, Jack needed someone, so she pushed that bad feeling aside until it turned into something that no one could ignore.

"I don't know. Probably. That along with Lea, Beau dying, and her mother... If I were profiling her, which I'm not, all of those are stressors. I don't know how she's managed."

Jessica shook her head, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Your family should mean everything to you after what happened to Haley. I hope this means you're ready to give Jack and your unborn child the life they deserve."

"I know I've made a lot of promises that I haven't kept,-"

"You've been doing that since Jack was born. Missing appointments, promising you'd be home and then never showing up. Haley didn't get whatever twisted version of you that you're giving her because she'd never allow it. You've ran over her because you thought you'd never have to worry about losing her. But in the end, Jack suffers worst of all. No matter how close we are, or how much I love him, I'll never be Haley, and I'll never be Y/N. The bond is different. He loves me because I'm family. He loves her because she comes to Muffins with Mom at school, and takes him to the park even when she's exhausted. My sister would be kicking your ass for the way you've treated her."

"I'm trying to fix this, Jessica."

"You can't just fix everything! I know you think you can, that you can come up with some miraculous solution to everyone's problems and keep everyone safe at the same time, but you can't, Hotch. You have 3 people you should be focusing on. Let the BAU figure out the rest. It's time to put them first. Please give me updates when you have them."

@sammyrenae68 @insomniren @realdirectionx @ellamalfoypotter @deblou008 @ssamorganhotchner @dangerouslittlefairy @iamanironmanfan @rousethemouse @americanbeauty80 @laneyspaulding19

#aaron hotchner #home//hotch #ssa aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner smut #hotch #ssa hotchner #hotchner #derek morgan #spencer reid #jj jareau #emily prentiss #dave rossi

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badassbelowmaskofkind · 2 years

Text

Love is blind

Ch 5

it was the end of the day and Y/N walked home she and Taehyung had agreed to meet up at his house tomorrow since Y/N's stepmom never allows boys unless its Jimin in she lost her real dad in a car accsident.

"Eomma" she mumbled as she was thinking about her mom and everything that had happened at least she has her father who loves her but he's always busy.

Flashback (one year ago)

"Hello is Park Jimin?" an unknown caller called Y/N's brother

"yes its Park Jimin who is this?" He asked "oh I'm very sorry b-but is your mother Park Jihwa? (random name so its not his mom's real name)

"Y-yes what about her?" He said voice shaking worried about his mom "I'm so sorry but your mom she...died. She got hit by a car on the street her injuries are really bad please inform Mr. Park about it I'm sorry for your loss" the caller said and hung up.

"this can't happen!" Jimin said throwing his phone on the ground he was in tears already but calmed himself down when he saw Y/N

"Jimin?" she said "are you okay?" "N-no Eomma just-" he sighed controlling his emotions "she died" he let himself cry Y/N had ran to her room already

the door opened quickly and Jin walked in the room seeing Jimin "Jiminie!" He ran hugging him tightly "please...don't cry its going to be okay"

Flashback ends

Y/N walked in the house her stepmom was in the kitchen applying makeup "oh you're here I will be going to the party I asked Jimin to pick up some food for you two" she said

she's always leaving home. why cant she just cook like a real mom. I'm so sick of her.

"I'll go now Y/N" she said she left her in the kitchen. She sighed

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Hyejin sat on her bed listening to music. How relaxing. Texting Jungkook

InnocentlittleKookie : Can I see you soon?

HJ ❤️ : my parents aren't here sooooo lets have some fun 😏

InnocentlittleKookie : ok will be there in 10 mins

HJ ❤️ : ok want to play some fighting games? I'll beat you for sure

InnocentlittleKookie : ofc. Cant wait I'm already walking out of the house btw I'm going 2 win

HJ ❤️ : omo! never 😂

InnocentlittleKookie : already outside. open the door 😂

HJ ❤️ : k wait for a sec

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

She opened the door and Jungkook went inside "there's something I've been wanting to ask you" he said "what is it?" Hyejin asked

"I-I can we go on a d-da-nevermind lets play games" he said. Jungkook why are you so shy to ask her out on a date. He thought as they played games.

"I am so winning!" Hyejin said smiling Jungkook felt his heart go faster when she did. I will confess soon. Don't worry Hyejin I love you and I'll try my hardest if you dont feel the same way I'll be fine with that maybe a bit hurt but still. If you accept me or reject me I'll always be by your side.

Soon after Jungkook ended up winning by a point. Hyejin pouted because she lost. She's so cute. He thought "awww HJ its okay" Jungkook said "Ok fine but I swear Jeon Jungkook I'm sooooo beating you next time" she said

Jungkook left her house at midnight with a smile on his face as he walked through the park he saw Taehyung leaning against a tree listening to music and singing. I did'nt know he had such a nice voice. He thought

When Taehyung saw him he quickly stopped singing and blushed he was embarassed. He didn't like people watching him sing. "hyung don't stop it was beautiful you should sing it to Y/N" the maknae said with an evil grin.

"w-wae? I don't even like her" he said Taehyung's face took on a shade of red "oh but hyung I know you do" Jungkook said

"I thought you should be at home hyung, your mom would kill you if she sees you" Jungkook said "oh I kinda went out when she was asleep" he explained he stopped blushing, returning to normal.

"hyung. Sing." Jungkook said with a smirk on his face "I-I don't like singing in front of people" he said "you can sing in front of me hyung. I wont tell pleaseeeee?" the younger begged "ok fine" Taehyung said after awhile

It feels weird singing with someone watching but...I really like it too. he thought as he sang with Jungkook listening his smile never fading. He never heard singing like this singing so passionate. so meaningful . and beautiful .

hyung should sing to Y/N she would love that. Jungkook thought.

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mtfstuff · 3 years

Text

"And done!", Jake said putting his dumbbells away. He loved to stay in shape. All of his friends thought that he did it to get all the women but in reality he did it to get every man to look at him, but he could never tell his friends. He took a towel to swipe his sweat from his face before he took off his sport shirt. He left his room and walked through the hallway to the kitchen. On his way he walked past the bathroom, where he saw Adam standing in front of the mirror.

"Week 34, still no progress.", Jake heard Adam mutter to himself.

He glanced at Adam and walked to the kitchen.

He went to the coffee machine and started it as Adam walked in.

"Could you please put on a shirt Jake?", Adam asked.

Surprised, Jake turned around and leaned against the counter.

"What? Why?", he asked.

"Your look is demotivating.", Adam answered. "I'm trying so hard to get in shape and you just dont get fat. Its infuriating. I'll never be attractive..."

"Hey now! Dont be mean to yourself.", Jake answered. "If you want I can help you by-"

"By creating another workout routine for me? No thanks. The other two I got from you werent working either. I mean even Sarah left me. I dont know why but I bet its because of my performance and looks."

"Wow, you're down bad, arent you?", Jake murred.

"I'm sorry Jake. I shouldnt let my anger out on you.", Adam said.

"Hey bro, I can really help you."

"How could you help me?"

"Well, its hard to explain... I have this -power- since I was a teenager. I can... Well, I'll show you."

Jake's face turned red in pain as Adam watched his hunky roommate growing a belly and getting bald. Adam didnt believe what he just had witnessed.

"I can transform anyone into anything.", Jake said from his new body. "It's just somewhat painful."

And Jake transformed back into his real self. His curly hair grew back and his sixpack emerged from his belly.

Adam just stood there, mouth open, not able to say anything.

Jake chuckled.

"I knew I could get you speechless.", he said.

Adam shook his head in disbelief before grabbing Jakes hands.

"Please help me! I'd do anything.", he begged.

"Not so fast Adam. If I do this I have to warn you."

"Go on. I'm listening."

"First of all, it will be really, really painful the first time. Second of all, you wont tell anyone about my power. If you do, I'm going to turn you into a pig or something else, like a boot. And finally, you'll help me find my true love after this."

"Alright. Thats cool with me. Now get me my sixpack. Make me a jock like you!"

Jake closed his eyes and concentrated on Adam.

Adam felt a warm sensation moving up his body but this warm sensation quickly turned into pain. Adam dropped to the floor, panting heavily trying to suppress his scream.

His belly started to melt away, to turn into sweat. It revealed a nice sixpack. His arms grew muscles and his calves grew larger. About two minutes later, Adam let out a deep breath and stood up. Sweat was dripping off his body.

Jake threw him a towel.

"I think you need this.", he snickered.

Adam used the towel to wipe of his sweat. Only then he noticed his new body.

"Oh my god! These abs are so tight. And my biceps!", he shouted, lifting one arm.

"Yeah. Look deeper Adam.", Jake said.

Adams gaze followed down his abs to see that his dick had grown too. Only his second thought was that his pants must have ripped.

"Oh shit.", he said putting the towel in front of his dick.

Jake threw him some of his gym clothes and Adam put them on thankfully.

Adam walked towards Jake and kissed him.

"Thank you. For all of this.", he said taking Jakes hand pulling him with him.

"Where are you going?", Jake asked.

"The balcony.", he answered. "I want to show the world how sexy I am."

He pushed open the balcony door.

"Jake... I dont know how to say this...", Adam stammered. "Since you made me like this... I... I think you're really hot. Like love of my life hot."

"I know.", Jake answered. "I feel the same. Lets get inside. Show me your new body to the fullest."

Adam took Jakes hand and followed him inside.

______________________

Story idea and commissioned by @ynew-206

#body switch #male body switch #possession #male body transformation #male transformation

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marigold-doms · 4 years

Note

Hey, could I request ateez with a shy s/o (sub) who gets flustered/wide eyed and blushy when the members suddenly act dominant or bust out the dirty talk when in the mood.

Lol, I can just feel that they would have corruption kinks.

P.s. I love your work and I'll be sure to send in more asks if that's ok!

Admin Mika: I shouldn't like this request as much as I do... BUT COMING RIGHT UP!!! I feel like half of ateez just has a corruption kink if it wasn't already a default setting🥴... Some of these reactions ended up being fluffier than I expected... SORRY ABOUT THAT. And p.s. yes love, request as much as you'd like💕~I'll do my best to get to them:)

||Ateez Reacts|| to a shy sub

Hongjoong:

Corruption kink pt. 1

Mind games to the MAX

Tempts you into thinking NAUGHTY NAUGHTy things😏...

Then denies you🤧

Makes you question why you even look flustered.

He goes touching you on "accident" in places that are sensitive.

says certain words/things that send shivers down your spine.

And when you can't take it, you try to appeal to him in your own subtle ways.

"What is it my cute, princess?"

You feel nothing CLOSE to cute.

You're HEATED. He's been eye fucking you this entire night and flaunting his hard on.

Your face BURNS from how you HATE not being able to say what your body craves.

"...nothing..."

He presses himself against you.

Dick hard.

His voice tickles in a hushed whisper by the skin of your ears.

“Really, there’s absolutely nothing my precious baby wants to tell me???”

👁👄👁nope. Im out.

Seonghwa:

Corruption kink pt. 2

He'd wreck u.

This isn't a secret to you or really any atiny

Seonghwa is the king of being in control

Whether it's of your innocence- i promise you he LOVES calling you "sweet girl" "darling" "doll" "flower"

SOFT nicknames. ROUGH treatment.

You are his little toy at this point.

He loves wreaking your pureness—meaning: wear a skirt with no undies.

He’ll actually growl.

Also. Theres something about your eyes crossing and limbs shaking that make this man go INSANE.

OH TEACHER/stuDENT RP!?!? Count this man in.

He already has the ruler in his hand.

Anything with a d/s relationship—his oppa kink is striving

Seonghwa feeds off of this type of roleplay.

It feels to him like he's rUining you-which technically isn't that far off from reality.

Yunho:

*deep inhale*

Size. Kink. SCREEEECH

He wont shut up about how tINY you are.

It scrambles his mind when he thinks about how you can't take him.

If anything he’s more internally affected by your innocence than he is of outwardly expressing how turned on he is by you.

How delicate and youthful you seem until he just intimidates you with how much he has to offer your body.

As soon as something remotely dirty comes out of his mouth, you instantly avoid eye contact.

Yunho adores the gesture. You look so cute in his eyes when you get like this.

All shy and quiet

“Come sweetheart, look at me...”

You cover your eyes—almost in a scared child-like manner.

He melts.

Makes this man want to give you a reason to cover your eyes so frightfully.

Yeosang:

Yeosang seems like the one that surprises you with how NOT innocent/shy he is.

It’s rather cute when one of you accidentally gets the other one worked up.

It can really go both ways.

Yeosang isn’t good when it comes to gauging his strength, not that he’s insanely strong...

He just ends up grabbing you closer to him. Not expecting that his sudden strength causes you to feel flustered.

You reaction is what actually ends up turning him on.

The way you bit your lip or turn away from his eyes.

“What’s wrong?” Yeosang nonchalantly tries to catch your gaze. Slowly smiling wider when he notices that you’re increasingly getting shy. “Did I do something bad, Angel?”

You bury your face into his neck and he laughs endearingly.

“I wasn’t even trying to baby, I’m sorry~”

San:

Corruption kink pt. 3

...do... do I dare say it???....

Somonophilia

Guys... its something about this kink that i KNOW dom!san is into...

The way your face would look from waking up with him iNSIDE OF YOU????

Your reaction of being super embarrassed that youd even dream of something like this but—

its not a dream.

San is actually fucking you.

Its real.

He’s smirking down at you darkly.

“Honey... you shouldn’t be sleeping in my clothes...” he starts at a fast pace. Loving how your body instantly grabs at him. “You make daddy want to ruin your innocent body.”

Mingi:

You see,

Im conflicted.

Mingi can like either/or:

1) a NastYy slut that only wants to pleasure him...

2) a super “clueless” doll that bends at his might

In this case, we are talking about #2 so...

Mr. Mingi here probably is the type to give you rules.

He’d like for you to voice out things that he makes you feel.

It’s not a corruption kink in a sense that he just was you to be vocal about how good he is at teasing you.

He likes to make things out to be your “fault” which is why he likes to act as if you started it.

“You just had to wear this short dress, right princess?” His big hands cupping your ass. “Almost like you want me to start doing something bad to you...”

He LOVEs it when you get flustered and for the moment he’ll even laugh

Wooyoung:

Corruption kink pt. 4

Wooyoung just loves to play with my-your emotions.

He lives off of messing with your mind.

Even in the most chill moments

This little shit-you could be cuddling in bed watching tv or simply scrolling on your phones...

out of compLETE nowhere, he graBs your neck and bites his lip at the sight of how shocked you are.

"Aww baby, you're blushing?"

He mocks the way you shake your head in a sad attempt of denial.

"No? Then why'd you close your legs so fast?"

His eyes stare at yours, waiting for an answer.

"Afraid I was gonna do something bad, love?"

Jongho:

I feel like it’s jongho’s mission to make you at least blush 3 times a day.

If you haven’t blushed at all, he feels like he has done something drastically wrong.

Since you’re his shy baby, it’s honestly the secret whispers that he gives to you when the members are around.

He wouldn’t dare try to make you say or do anything that you are uncomfortable with but this boy loves it when you blush.

I know this is supposed to be a little spicy but I’LL MENTION POWER PLAY LATER.

Jongho only shows his dominance when you are behind closed doors so in the sense that you are getting DOWN in the dirty...

He most likely likes to hear it when you beg for him to use his strength against you.

For the similar dynamic that yunho and Mingi have for a size kink, Jongho LIVES for the thrill of seeing your overwhelmed/shocked face when he suddenly overtakes you.

The fact that you can’t escape from his grasp while struggling to take him—this visual with you in a cute school girl outfit/skirt drives this boy to the EGDE.

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bleepblopbloop56 · 5 years

Text

The Murder in the Dressing Room

Chapter 7: liar liar

Warnings: blood, death, emotional and physical abuse, implied past domestic abuse

Also on ao3

Special thanks to @pathos-logical who still, despite everything shes done, wont be listed as a co-writer 🦀 (the writing was done months ago, and shes been doing EVERYTHING since)

The sound of Logan's phone ringing shook him out of the daze he'd been in for hours, sitting on Remy's couch, staring at the yellow walls, and trying to think about anything that wasn't Virgil. He considered ignoring it, letting it ring until the caller gave up and left him to sulk alone, but he decided to at least look at the contact. Maybe if they were important enough he'd think about calling them back later.

But when he saw Roman's contact, his earlier numbness was replaced with urgency like a lightning strike. He picked up before he could think twice.

"Hello?" he rushed out, but even that was immediately cut off. At first all Logan could make out was near-hysterical rambling- but then the words sank in, and so did the horror.

"He did it- Logan, Dee killed them, it was him!" Roman was shaking so badly it was a challenge to keep the phone in his hands. "Dee, he- he sent me a picture of- of the two of us together, he didn't want me to leave him- Logan… I don't know what to do," he hiccupped, voice cracking on Logan's name. Logan's previous grief-induced apathy had fled as soon as he had heard the call, but now heart was pounding, a lump caught in his chest like he was going to either puke or scream.

"Roman, where. Are. You." Logan had always been a serious type, but never like this. Despite how often his line of work put him in danger, the life-or-death part of it had never hit quite this close to home. If his entire world was flooding, Roman was the only one with a lifeboat.

"God, I don't even know…" Roman muttered to himself, pausing to glance around him and even his breathing. "Some shitty Holiday Inn? I'm not too far from the police station."

Logan had jumped into action the second he heard Roman’s voice, frantically pulling on his shoes and throwing on one of Remy's jackets that was hanging by the door as he stormed out of the house. "Roman, I need you to meet me at the station." He heard Roman sniffle and whisper a soft agreement, followed by the sound of movement. "And Ro?" The shuffling stopped.

"I love you… and we're going to get through this, okay?" It was easier to lie to Roman than it was to lie to himself. And it was easier to tell Roman the truth about loving him than it was to pretend that he was over him. Things were just easier with Roman… Everything was easier with Roman.

"I love you too," Roman whispered, but it came out choked and broken, like it was all he could do not to cry. "I never stopped loving you, I'm sorry I ever left, if I just stayed with you then none of this would've happened- god, this is all my fault- "

Logan hushed him, starting his car and pulling out of the driveway without looking. "Everything's going to be alright, okay?” Keeping his voice steady was a challenge, but he needed to be strong, if only for Roman. “I'll see you soon."

--------

Roman wouldn't make it to the station. Hell, he barely made it out of his hotel room before a hand pushed him in again.

And even if he did, he wouldn't have wanted to.

------------

Logan went straight to his office when he reached the station, not bothering to greet the few people mulling around. Remy had been promoted to head detective on the case after Logan had dropped out, and Logan knew he’d been working late nights since. He must’ve been in Logan's office for hours now.

"Remy, I have the answer!" Logan began, swinging open the door with the kind of energy more typically associated with his partner than him. Remy didn't react, facing the board Logan had set up for the case. In the back of Logan's mind, it registered as odd that his head was lolling forward instead of leaned back to look up at it.

But that wasn't what made Logan stop dead in his tracks. No, that would be the blood that was absolutely everywhere- splattered across the walls, pooling at Remy’s feet-

Remy.

Logan rushed over to look at him, only sparing the briefest glance at the sunglasses on the floor. But suddenly he'd never missed their absence more keenly on Remy's face than the moment when he saw Remy slumped in Logan's chair, quintessential glasses replaced by an all-too familiar mask frowning up at him.

Through blurring vision and rising nausea, Logan took in the rest of the scene. The board, now covered in red from more than just yarn. The cold air coming in through the open window. Remy's torn baseball tee, so drenched in dark blood that not a speck of the original white and black fabric remained visible. The coffee cup, contents long gone cold, that somehow lay untouched on his desk. The missing picture of him and Patton on the desk, creased down the middle and scribbled on.

In red marker were two crudely drawn masks covering Logan's and Patton's faces.

Logan felt his whole world come crashing down. He had been holding on to Remy's stability through all of this, and now that was gone. Remy was gone…

Remy Murphy was dead.

Remy Murphy was dead

Remy Murphy was dead.

And Logan screamed.

------

"Hello, Roman~" Ethan sing-songed. "Where do you think you're going?" He smiled, sweet as poisoned honey, walking forward and forcing Roman to back up until his legs hit the bed. Roman scrambled away from his touch until he was against the headrest, but Dee simply leaned over him. "How are you, baby? It's been far too long since we've chatted."

"Dee," Roman choked out. "Please don't do this." He let out a violent sob when Dee grabbed his chin and pulled it forward, forcing their eyes to meet.

"Someone's been a little tattletale huh?" Dee smiled. It wasn't anything like his old smile. He'd used to smile like he owned the world. This smile said he was about to destroy it.

"Gone off telling your little boyfriend about me, huh?" Roman shook his head, gasping and swallowing his sobs in an attempt to keep quiet.

"LIAR!" Dee shouted, shoving Roman's head into the wall. Ignoring Roman's cry of pain, he continued, "Why is everyone such a dirty fucking liar?! Do you think I'm an idiot?" Roman was openly sobbing now. Dee's face softened, and he pulled Roman into a hug he was too afraid to pull away from.

"I'm sorry, baby, you know I didn't mean it" he cooed, petting Roman's hair right where his head had hit the wall. "Do you forgive me?" On instinct Roman nodded, hands balled into fists in the sheets.

Dee pulled back and kissed Roman's forehead, putting on a fake pout when Roman flinched away. "We're gonna go home now, alright? And we're not gonna run, or yell, or get upset, okay baby?"

"Or what?" Roman dared to ask, but the question came out too breathless to have any real bite to it. "Or you'll kill me? Do it. End all of this, Dee. I give up. Kill me if you want, just stop this," he begged. "Kill me. And let them find me with that fucking mask on just like everyone else, but never fucking touch another one of my friends or family again."

Dee stared at him for a moment, and Roman couldn't tell if he was confused or if he was contemplating if it would be worth it.

"Oh no no no, baby." Ethan ran his hands over Roman’s cheeks, gently wiping away his tears. "I love you, that's why I'm doing all this! I just want you to be with me."

"Then what'll you do?" He clenched his fists tighter. He wanted to pretend it was to put on a show of bravery, but in reality he was trying to keep from shaking too hard, afraid Dee might notice and get angry.

"Then I'll kill your little love bird! You're such a cheating whore sometimes, baby," Dee crooned, cradling Roman's tear-streaked face, "but you've had your fun now! And now we're going home!"

Roman tried to think back to the first time he met Dee, to remember if there were any signs to any of this when he had let himself get swept away by those initial promises and gifts. Nothing in his memory held any clues to how he would end up here, with three people dead and his soulmate's life on the cutting board.

"Did you bring anything with you, sweetheart?" Dee’s soft hands petting over Roman’s face contradicted his eyes, alight with something more than poison behind them. Roman shook his head no- all he had on him was his wallet and phone. "Good boy. Now let's go. One hand on me at all times, alright baby?"

Roman nodded, and held out his hand, trying to ignore the way Dee gripped down too hard, the opposite of Logan's gentle hands leading him to the car after the restaurant only a few days ago.

"One more thing." Dee stopped him as he was getting in the car. "Give me your phone. You don't deserve it anymore."

Roman’s breath seized. Dee had always let him have his phone. No matter the scolding and yelling about who he was talking to, the constant searches through Roman’s steadily dwindling messages, the deletion of social media and surrender of passwords, he was still allowed to have it. Part of him wanted to protest, to cling to his one link to the outside world- to Logan- but he was in no place to make demands.

With shaking fingers reached into his pocket and pulled out the phone, a cheap sparkling case barely protecting the shattered screen, the result of being chucked against the wall one too many times in one of Dee's fits of rage. Dee snatched it out of his hands and stuffed it in his pocket before starting the engine and pulling out of the parking lot.

There were a million thoughts whirling through Roman's head as Dee drove them to wherever he had been hiding, but for some reason his mind kept circling back to his phone. So small, in the grand scheme of things, but he couldn't help but feel he'd given up more than just that when he'd handed it over.

The murder in the dressing room taglist:

@cataclysm-al @theteenagetrickster @intrurality-fusion @katie-the-noble-fangirl @whizzie72 @grayson-22 @i-have-n0-idea-what-im-d0ing @winterwonderland7669 @missieluvsmurder @sign-from-god-complex @dragonindigo245 @angryfanboyscreaming @ninja-wizard101 @sombraookami @crystalistrappedintheinternet @imtooaromanticforthis @why-should-i-tell-youu2 @dragon-hair @satanblessi @spookilyfingergunsoutofexistence @skruffy901 @selectivereality @nonbeenary-enbee @imbasicallyshakespear @cats-vetal-miking-vomit @incoherentfangirl @oofmood @nonbianary-pineapple @royalnerd829 @unicornlogansanders @magma-llama

#thomas sanders #sander sides #roman sanders #deceit sanders #tw deceit #abusive deceit #manipulative deceit #past roceit #rociet #logince

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d-noona · 4 years

Text

MAKE OVER

Chapter 7: Fairy God Mommy

Jung Hoseok x Reader

Reader as Kang Hyeonji

SUMMARY: When Kang Hyeonji transformed herself into a striking redhead, the entire male population of Seoul stood up and took notice. But her make over was for Jung Hoseok’s benefit alone. He began to show interest in the new look but not in the way she wanted. Suddenly he was over-protective, perhaps a little jealous. It seemed that the idea of having a relationship with her couldn’t be further from his mind. The girl however wants more. So it was time for an ultimatum. If Hoseok didn’t want Hyeonji to lose her virginity to another admirer, he had no option but to make love to her himself.

After that nothing could have made Hyeonji happy, not even when Mrs. Jung returned with her still apologetic mother in tow. Amazingly, Zil was thrilled by the idea of becoming Mrs Jung's cleaner, then estatic when Hoseok explained his refinancing offer.

"Isn't that wonderful news Hyeonji?" Her mother exclaimed. "Now we wont have to have a stranger in the house. And you'll have money for yourself for a change."

Hyeonji smiled and said yes, it was wonderful. She smiled all through lunch and laughed when the four of them moved Mrs Jung's living room furniture to new spots, then have to move everything back again to their original places when the end result did not please Mrs Jung's creative eye.

No one would have guessed how wretched Hyeonji felt. She was a past master at hiding her feelings, especially around Hoseok. But her heart grew heavier as the hours passed. By afternoon tea, she was exhausted with the emotional strain of pretending to be bright and breezy when inside she was shattered. Hoseok's getting back with Tinashe the following Sunday was the final straw.

His eagerness for their reconciliation had been palpable, his body language reeking of sexual frustration as he'd spoken of his time away from Tinashe. He could not wait to jump back into bed with her. Hyeonji could no longer fool herself. Any attention he'd been giving her had been the result of his boredom, not because of any suddenly selfless maturity.

"You won't forget about the refinancing," she reminded him stiffly when it came time for them to leave.

"Not at all. In fact, your mom is going to provide me the relevant papers this very afternoon. I'll collect them shortly, Zil, and have Sejin get onto it first thing this week, then I'll bring up whatever needs to be signed next Saturday." As Hoseok elaborates what he plans to have his secretary do.

"You coming home next Saturday, are you?" Hyeonji asked with a weary resignation. Normally, the thought of Hobi being around thrilled her to pieces. Now there was no pleasure in the news, only the cynical thought that of course he was coming home. Had nothing better to do till Sunday, did he?

"Yes, I've been invited to speak at a local business awards dinner on Saturday night. I'm also presenting the prizes" he says.

"How nice." Hyeonji answers blandly.

"Why don't you take Hyeonji, Hoseok?" His mother suggested. "The invitation says "and partner"."

Hoseok's instant frown was enough to turn Hyeonji off the idea, despite her stupid heart giving one last feeble leap. His eyes turned her way then travelled slowly over her. She could actually see his brain ticking away. Dear old Hyeonji doesn't look half bad now. She wouldn't be an embarrassment to take, not like she would have been a week ago.

"Would you like to go?" He asked her. "It's a black tie, so you'll need a dinner dress."

Hyeonji steeled herself to do the one thing she'd thought she would never do. Reject the man she loved. "Thank you Hobi," she said with superb indifference, "but I have other plans for next Saturday night."

His brown eyes instantly clouded a small stab of triumph lifted her spirits momentarily., quickly followed by a much stab of despair. Tears threatened and she just had to get out of there. Panic had her glancing around for her mother. "Ready to go home Mum?" She asked, determined to keep up the false gaiety to the bitter end. "I have quite a bit to do before the working week starts tomorrow."

"My working week starts tomorrow too, doesn't it Mrs Jung?" Zil returned happily.

"Indeed it does."

"Thank you so much," Zil went on, clasping her neighbor's hands with her own with rather touching gratitude. "For lunch. And...and everything."

Mrs Jung smiled and patted Zil's hands. "It's I who's grateful. I've found myself a wonderful cleaner and a new friend as well. See you in the morning Mrs Kang."

"And I'll be seeing you later Mrs Kang!" Hoseok called out as Hyeonji shepherded her mother out of the house. "To get those papers."

"What nice people they are," Zil said on the short way home. "And wasn't it kind of Hoseok to help us out with that money business?"

"Yes, it was." Hyeonji admitted, but tight-lipped.

A silence descended between the two women as they made their way inside, but Hyeonji could feel her mother watching her.

"Why didn't you say yes when Hoseok asked you to go out with him?" Zil asked once they were safely alone in the kitchen. "It...it wasn't because of what I said earlier, was it? About not being...well...pretty enough for him? Because that's not true, Hyeonji. You're plenty pretty enough. And he really likes you. I can see that now. He could hardly take his eyes off you all over lunch, and then later he..."

"Oh Mum, please," Hyeonji begged. "You don't have to lie. You were right the first time."

"No, darling. I wasn't. I was wrong. Very wrong. And I'm thoroughly ashamed of myself. I was feeling sorry for myself, and I was afraid. Yes, afraid." She repeated when Hyeonji's eyes widened. "Afraid some man would snap you up, looking as you do now, and I'd be left all alone in this world."

"But today opened my eyes there's Mrs Jung, a widow like myself, but she doesn't sit around feeling sorry for herself. Besides her writing, she plays golf and bingo and bridge. And she doesn't tie that boy of hers to her apron-strings, either. I can see its up to me to make something of my life for myself. I know becoming a cleaner isnt much but at least I'm good at it, and it's a start. I might even go to that hair dresser of yours with some of my cleaning money and become a blonde!"

"Oh Mum!" Hyeonji exclaimed, a burst of very real joy dragging her heart back out of the doldrums. "You've no idea how happy you made me, hearing you say that."

"Do you forgive me for saying those awful things to you, my dear? I didn't mean them, you know."

Hyeonji couldnt help but relent. "Of course, I forgive you," she said gently. "I love you Mom."

"Oh Hyeonji," her mother crude, and threw her arms around her daughter.

Unfortunately , it was not the best of time for Hyeonji to be hugged. Her mother's display of affection tipped her over the edge on which she'd been balancing for several hours., splintering the brittle control which she'd been holding in her misery. Her shoulders began to shake as sobs racked her whole body. "Oh my daughter," her mother groaned, and hugged her even more tightly. "Dont cry, darling. Please dont cry. Oh, you make me feel terrible. If only I hadn't said those awful things, you would have probably gone out with Hoseok when he asked you. It's my fault!"

"No, it isn't," Hyeonji sniffled when she at last pulled out of her mother's arms. "Hoseok only asked me out because Tinashe's trying to prove some point or other and she's refused to have anything to do with him for a month. But come next Sunday they'll be back together again, as thick as thieves. Who knows? If she plays her cards right he might even ask her to marry him."

"What rubbish!" Her mother pronounced firmly, startling Hyeonji. "Hoseok is not in love with that flashy bit of goods. No man in love with one girl looks at another girl as he looked at you today."

Hyeonji was dumbfounded. "But I...I didn't notice him looking at me in a special way..."

"Then you're as blind as he is, my girl. You made a big mistake refusing to go out with him next Saturday night. Now listen here; when he comes over to pick up those papers, you tell him you've changed your mind and you'd like to go after all."

"But...but..." Hyeonji stammered.

"NO buts. You said he's not getting back with that Tinashe till Sunday. Make the most of what time you have!" Zil pushed Hyeonji with both her arms on her waist.

"I was just going to say I don't have anything to wear," Hyeonji smiled weakly.

"Well, that's easily fixed."

"How? Hoseok's accountant can't get us anymore money immediately. And I'm not taking the cleaning money you earn, Mom. No way. One hundred dollars wouldnt be nearly enough anyway," she added with a sad sigh. "A dinner dress, complete with shoes and bag doesn't come cheap these days."

"Would five hundred dollars do?"

"Five hundred! But where?... I mean..." Hyeonji surprised at her mother.

Zil smiled her pleasure at her daughter's surprise. "You're not the only one who has rainy-day money stashed away, my girl. Come this way."

Hyeonji followed, fascinated, while her mother led her upstairs and into the master bedroom where she proceeded to lift up the mattress and draw out a battered brown paper envelope. She opened the flap and tipped the contents out onto the patchwork quilt. Notes of all sizes fluttered down, mostly fives, tens and twenties.

"I used to hide this is an empty washing powder box in the laundry when your father was alive. But now its safe enough out here. I know there's at least five hundred dollars, maybe more." She gathered the money up and pressed them into Hyeonji's hands. "I want you to buy yourself a dress which will knock Hoseok's eyes out!"

Hyeonji hated the wild rush of elation ehich flooded her heart, for she feared she was setting herself up for a disaster of monumental proportions. No matter what her mother said and no matter what dress she brought, how could she seriously compete with Tinashe? It was like comparing a nice little house wine with a top brand french champagne. Tinashe's extravagant self fizzed sparkled. She was special-occassion lady whereas she, was the common, everyday, value for money variety.

When Hoseok looked at her he only ever saw a familiar face. And everyone knew what familiarity bred. Contempt. Never chemistry.

Or was that how he'd seen her in the past? Dared she hoped that her new look had evoked a new appreciation? Hyeonji had told the truth when she'd said she hadn't notice Hoseok looking at her differently today. But after his news about Tinashe she'd been too upset to notice anything, and had avoided Hoseok's eyes as much as possible.

Could her mother's observations possibly be correct, or was she just trying to make her daughter feel better? She'd been guilty over her earlier less than generous remarks. Hyeonji didn't want to keep her hopes up. And yet, something was stirring within her soul. Something she'd never felt before. Something rather wicked.

Tinashe had called her a sly piece. Maybe she was right, Hyeonji thought with a steeling of her spirit. Because I am not going to go quietly, Tinashe, darling. Neither am I going to let you have Hoseok back without a fight. Come Saturday night, I'm going to use every female trick in the book.

The trouble was...she hadn't read that particular book yet. She would have to depend on her feminine instinct. The front doorbell ringing startled both of them. "That'll be Hoseok," Zil said urgently. "Now drop that money and go down and talk to him while I get those papers he wants. Tell him you've changed your mind about Saturday night, and ask him what time he wants you ready by. Be cool, though. Not overly eager."

Hyeonji shocked at her mother "Mum, you sneaky thing!"

"Well there is no point in being easy. Any girl who looks as good as you do can pkay a little hard to get. Besides, men never want what they think they can have, gratis. They like a bit of a challenge."

Hyeonji went down stairs shaking her head. Who would have believed that within her own shy reserved mother lurked the makings of a femme fatale? Heaven knew what would happen if the Kang widow became a blonde!

Hyeonji summoned up a pleasant smile to answer the door, resolving to watch this time for any sign that Hoseok looked at her differently in any way.

"Hello there again," she said. "Mum wont be a minute with those papers. Look, about next Saturday night Hobi, that was rude of me to dismiss your very nice invitation out of hand. I know what its like to go to these things alone..."

She didn't actually, because she's never been to an awards dinner. But Hyeonji had never lacked imagination. Just think of all those times Hosoek had made lover to her in her mind. Unfortunately, she began thinking of one those times right at this moment. It was her favorite scenario where Hoseok was concerned. He would bring her home to this door after a serious date and there would be much kissing and panting on the front porch. When she finally unlocked the door, he would push her inside, then scoop her up into his arms and carry her upstairs to her room where a three-foot bed was no barrier to true love.

Her mouth dried as she thought of their naked bodies blended tightly, writhing together. Her brown eyes glittered as they began unconsciously to rove over the object of her desire. Before they reach his waist, Hyeonji swallowed then cleared her throat. "Er...could I possibly change my mind and say yes?"

He stiffened. He actually stiffened. Why?

"Is there a problem with that?" She asked airily, even while her heart was thudding. He stood there frowning at her. The atmosphere on that doorstep was suddenly charged with a quite alien tension. Hyeonji didnt know what to make of it except that she found herself holding her breath.

"Hobi?" She choked out.

He seemed to have to shake himself to answer her. "No." He muttered. "No problem. I'll look forward to it."

Hyeonji had to be careful not to let all her breath out of her lungs in a rush. "Fine," she said with a small smile. "Well, where is this dinner and what time should I be ready?"

"Its being held down at the League's Club, in the Admiral's Quarters. The dinner starts at eight. Pre-drinks at seven thirty. I'll pick you up at...say...seven?"

Hyeonji nodded "I'll be ready. And thanks again for helping us with the finance business."

"My pleasure." He answered.

But it didn't look as if it was his pleasure. Not at all. He hadn't smiled once since she'd opened the door. Hyeonji could not make head or tail of his mood, except that it was obvious he had mixed feelings about taking her to that dinner.

She prayed his reluctance was because he'd begun to feel things for her which he found confusing, and not because Tinashe might get jealous if she ever found out. Her mother's arrival at that point steered the conversation to a less stressful grounds. Hoseok left a couple of minutes later and as Zil closed the front door she threw Hyeonji a questioning glance. "Well? What happened? You both seemed tense when I came down."

Hyeonji shrugged. "I don't really know. I told him I changed my mind about the dinner, and he agreed to take me, but not with great enthusiasm. To be honest, I think it worried the heck out of him."

"Well that's better than indifference, Hyeonji."

Nodding her head Hyeonji agreed "That's what I was thinking."

Zil patted her daughter's back "Only time will tell."

Chapter 08

Masterlist

#BTS #BANGTANSONYEONDAN #BTSJHOPE #JHOPE #HOBI #JUNGHOSEOK #JUNGJOSEOKXREADER #BTSFANFIC #BTSROMANTICFANFIC #MAKEOVER

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years

Text

Ali & Ronnie

Ali: [The day of but later] Ali: I convinced that man not to press charges or anything, the one that got involved Ali: so you don't need to worry about that Ronnie: wasnt Ronnie: tell someone who is Ali: 'course Ali: talking isn't the most useful thing for me to do right now so I'll pass Ronnie: go be useful then little girl Ali: I'm sorry he brought you Ali: that's fucked up Ronnie: course you are Ronnie: youre all well sorry now like Ali: For you, not myself, or ourselves Ronnie: no shit pity works with the rest of your brothers and sisters Ronnie: youre fucked up Ali: How so? Ronnie: show and tells over Ali: I hope it made you feel better Ronnie: bullshit Ronnie: none of you give a fuck how I feel Ali: yeah I do Ronnie: wheres it been Ali: you're meant to wait for the kid to make the first move, that's rule #1 Ronnie: if you wanna play by the rules Ali: so I've lost points, that's fine Ali: you don't want us to care, right? Ronnie: the way your family is im almost old enough to be your ma Ronnie: bit fucking late yeah Ali: You do have a solid decade on her, yeah Ali: I'm a late bloomer, clearly Ronnie: ill leave it to her to be proud Ali: a big ask, but I'll survive without Ronnie: like I said Ronnie: fucked Ali: Yeah, a fair bit Ali: nothing to shout about, or that hasn't been now Ronnie: you wanted a first move Ali: It was a choice Ronnie: nah Ronnie: a reaction Ali: That too Ali: like I said, hope it was what you needed it to be? Ronnie: ask him Ali: you just did it for Joe? Ronnie: why else Ronnie: none of you mean shit to me Ali: but he does, yeah Ronnie: connect the dots Ronnie: I bothered to carve each one out Ali: I can tell he loves you Ali: do you love him Ronnie: hes that fucking soft Ali: you do Ali: alright, that's something Ronnie: fuck you youve known him all your life and you dont Ronnie: theres no telling me how I feel Ali: I don't know him or I don't love him? Ronnie: have it both ways Ronnie: he tells it either way Ali: I probably don't know him now Ali: I'll allow that Ali: that's how he wants it so you don't have to defend him like I'm saying I do Ali: or that I'll force it, when he's been so clear Ronnie: hes the last person I can be arsed to defend Ronnie: but no shit he gets everything he wants Ali: What were you after Ali: we disown him Ali: or strongarm him into rehab and therapy Ronnie: yeah Ive got everything crossed for sobriety Ronnie: fucks sake Ali: disowning then, he's done it to us Ali: it won't happen the other way 'round, sorry to say Ronnie: give him your fucking sorry Ronnie: he was the one begging me to ruin it all Ali: close enough that he should still be happy Ali: I'm not sorry for him Ali: I already said, he shouldn't have used you like that Ronnie: thats what happens theres no fucking 💘 and 🥀 Ali: no one deserves that Ronnie: I am no one Ali: You aren't Ali: don't have to be Ronnie: people like their junkies part time or useful or repentant Ronnie: fuck that Ali: that's not your whole gig Ronnie: you don't know shit Ronnie: youre not under my skin or in my head Ali: I know enough to know that's bullshit Ali: if anyone was just their addictions and vices, you wouldn't need them Ronnie: yeah youre the smart one Ronnie: he told me Ali: He's the one at the fancy arts school Ali: how does he reconcile that with being the junkie one Ronnie: youre 16 theres no uni thatd take you yet Ronnie: happy birthday for whenever the fuck it was Ali: Thanks Ali: about a month ago Ali: extend the invite next time Ronnie: dont Ronnie: I wont show Ali: you haven't heard how great my parties are yet Ronnie: I aint a childrens entertainer Ali: be cool if you were Ali: have a heart attack when you showed up Ronnie: next time I need a few quid ill try and remember Ronnie: make you proud of me Ali: probably leave that to Joe, and your friends and fam Ali: but I know how to make balloon animals so hmu Ronnie: course you do Ronnie: youre the target market for hippy crack Ali: awh Ali: how true Ronnie: no shit Ronnie: how long you been in the youngest ones adhd meds Ali: not really my thing Ali: need to calm my brain, not stimulate it harder Ronnie: 💔 Ali: how'd you know about that Ali: doesn't seem like the sort of pillowtalk he'd be about Ronnie: i was in care i know what an kid with adhd looks like Ronnie: and theyve tried to diagnose me as everything but a west little bastard Ali: he's shit scared right now Ronnie: be fucked if he werent Ali: yeah Ali: he doesn't really know Joe Ali: was like 4 when he went to Uni so Ali: proper boogeyman shit Ronnie: mckenna will love that Ronnie: real boner for the misery Ali: someone should get something out of it Ali: he can pay for his therapy later Ali: more meds, whatever Ronnie: ill tell him to put in his will Ali: try not to die Ronnie: itd be the ultimate misery boner Ronnie: why should he stop getting what he wants now Ali: yeah, you do love him Ali: but hate him too Ronnie: 💘🥀 Ali: Is he worth it? Ronnie: youre describing freckles and the princess you know that yeah Ronnie: me and her dont share every dysfunction Ali: Nah, they don't hate each other Ali: loads of other stuff, people Ali: very them vs everyone Ronnie: she hates that she needs him Ronnie: that he makes her soft Ronnie: close enough Ali: You reckon? Ali: Hmm Ronnie: first rule of tortured kids club Ali: it's why she loves him too Ali: you'd understand if her sister had been there Ali: she's got no one to make her soft, I tried but Ronnie: gutted she werent there then Ali: you wouldn't like her any more than she'd like you Ali: it'd be fitting, but no fun Ronnie: thats the fun Ronnie: I hate you all Ali: I see the appeal Ronnie: have a go Ronnie: hate me Ali: I see your appeal Ali: why would I hate you? Ali: Fraze does and he's having the least fun of all Ronnie: you see what you fucking wanna Ronnie: youd have to know me to know if I had any appeal Ali: Then I'm a spoilt hippy brat, as you like it Ali: you'd have to do worse for me to hate you Ali: not my MO Ronnie: not wasting another flight on it Ronnie: kill your own ma Ali: then I'm good for it Ali: sorry again Ali: you did what you set out to do, making me 💔 wasn't part of it Ronnie: stop fucking apologising Ali: it offends you? Ronnie: I did what mckenna cant do for his fucking self being a useless pussy from cradle to grave Ronnie: he is under my skin and in my veins like it or not Ali: yeah, and my apology is worth a damn when you've got problems that big Ali: alright, I won't say it no more Ronnie: if it was for me Id have done it at 10 14 fucking 18 even Ali: 'course, you got fucked over at birth Ali: no other straws needed Ali: his is more of a slowburn of bullshit Ronnie: yeah Ali: I don't know what he's told you, or how much you care about it Ali: but they've always been like it, Fraze too Ali: we have no idea and they went through so much more Ali: but Joe's only got 5 on me, so that says all you really need to know Ronnie: thats lads for you Ronnie: cant handle any pain unless they glorify it Ali: or co-opt it Ali: if you don't wanna be like them, tell him to get his own Ronnie: Im not like them thats why he likes me Ronnie: it aint my winning smile Ronnie: helps that I look like you and your ma course hes that sick Ali: He's hated them both ever since Bea came around, then when we moved her, like it was for her Ali: he's spoilt, like you said Ali: but I really think he is sick, too Ronnie: no shit Ronnie: were both sick Ali: yeah Ali: maybe you'll wanna get help someday Ronnie: for what Ronnie: theres no happy ever after here Ali: to not be sick Ronnie: nice try little girl Ronnie: not gonna get cured Ali: yeah, well has to seem better than sick Ali: that's a big ask Ali: I can't imagine not getting to do the drugs I do, and that's everyone Ronnie: it's like being in a relationship yeah sometimes it makes you feel good sometimes it dont Ronnie: cant fix shit though Ronnie: the rots too deep and its already set in Ronnie: long before I took a hit Ali: That's medication for you Ronnie: thats pain for you Ali: Yeah Ronnie: if I cant cut it out Ill cut her out of me Ronnie: her face outta mine Ali: It's DNA Ali: everything and nothing Ronnie: if she's in my blood ill spill it all Ronnie: theres fuck all point keeping it on the inside Ali: It's a waste of you Ali: the you that ain't her Ronnie: I am the waste Ronnie: ive had enough kids scraped out of me it aint hard Ali: She believed in the happily ever after you don't Ali: more fool her Ronnie: she got it Ali: she wanted it with you Ronnie: bullshit Ali: She did, she loved your biological dad, basically as many years as she'd been about Ali: she didn't just not get an abortion because she was scared Ronnie: she wanted it with him then Ronnie: I was along for the ride til I got dumped out Ronnie: if she wanted me id fucking be there Ali: she could've tried Ali: yeah Ali: you would've got taken away though Ronnie: so what Ali: just that, she wasn't allowed to keep you, she was a 14 year old with no parent, they'd have separated you and put you into different care homes Ali: happened to her friend Ronnie: I was a 14 year old with no parents either Ronnie: and a 4 year old Ronnie: 4 months Ronnie: however the fuck far back you wanna go Ronnie: I still found ways to get shit that I wanted Ali: Yeah, I know Ali: you had enough to eat and a bed with a roof over your head Ali: you wouldn't have if you'd had her, if that was even possible, somehow Ronnie: no I fucking didnt Ronnie: not always Ali: if you were in a home Ali: more than a squat where no fucker pays the bills or gets groceries over smack, you know the situation Ronnie: I know it helps her sleep at night Ronnie: this story Ali: you don't have to add it to your narrative if it fucks with your peace Ali: ask Joe Ali: if he reckons he remembers everything back in Liverpool, he'll remember Ronnie: I dont need to ask him cos his story is that she blinked and her life was so fucking sorted that she pushed a shit ton more kids out Ronnie: where the fuck was I Ronnie: nowhere Ronnie: youre my fucking replacement is why Ali: she could've got you when she got Bea and Ro Ali: I don't know how old you were then, 13? Ali: they might've said she was sorted enough, maybe Ali: it was more, this girl has been abused and you're a friend she trusts who is willing to foster her so let's shove her at you and get her out, it wasn't happy families Ronnie: no need when theres already loads of shiny white kids to mother and 2 less shiny to play saviour too Ali: I could ask Ali: I was a toddler, and it wasn't my bedtime story too, believe it or nah Ronnie: luck of the irish Ali: I'll take 50% Ronnie: her sob story is as fucking useless to me as mckennas misery boners are Ali: 💔 Ali: very convincing performance in that case Ronnie: fuck you Ali: why Ronnie: if you have to ask youre not listening Ali: I meant the part where you necked on with him Ronnie: why not Ali: 'cos his boners are a letdown, obvs Ronnie: I dont need him to make me feel good Ronnie: and he fucking wishes he could do as good of a job as the shit that does Ali: thank God Ronnie: he wanted the shock factor thats me baby Ali: assumed that was his intention Ali: he stopped showing up as himself ages ago though, that was, not more shocking but impactful, let's say Ali: if he wasn't so obviously out of it, he might've known that we knew Ronnie: he wanted to stop showing up full stop Ronnie: til he gets shipped back in a ⚰ Ronnie: and reckoned thatd be the final nail for you all us fucking Ali: and us younger ones are dramatic, hilarious Ali: who doesn't want to get away from home? Ali: Tommy has been since he was 11, Bea went to Cambridge, Ro will too, Fraze only didn't because Bea told him he wasn't allowed to follow her Ali: I'm planning on Singapore, myself Ronnie: hes too pussy to handle being away from me Ronnie: or what I get like when he isnt in my fucking face Ronnie: that bit wasnt about you lot as much like Ali: it's how it goes Ali: that's why people get knocked up, get married, get fabulous careers, so you can have an excuse for why you can't make this weekend, will try to pop in for this event but end up just sending a card Ali: it's weird it's you, of course, you're both sick, duh, but look at it objectively Ali: it's your version of 2.4 kids and a dog Ronnie: he dont want me to slit my own throat or anyone elses but his more fool him Ronnie: cant knock me up or marry me thank christ Ronnie: I like that the dog is smack thats well poetic Ali: I'll have a go at writing it Ali: if you want a null and void illegal wedding too, I'll write those vows and all Ronnie: ill stick it in a song if you want better than happy birthday Ronnie: fuck that i belong to no one Ronnie: theres loads more fun illegal shit to do Ali: you write songs too? Ali: just don't let Joe play cello on it Ali: if depression had a 🎵 Ronnie: id lose money if i begged with him Ronnie: fucking hell Ronnie: looks pathetic enough but thats all Ali: very child actor vibes, or rockstar's kid Ali: you had it all and you pissed it all the wall Ali: not here's a couple of quid for a warm cup of coffee and a sarnie, no Ronnie: i can see his face hearing that Ronnie: id have to take a brick to it Ali: yeah, he probably hates me Ali: not as much as Fraze, didn't have the toddler clout to make us move to Dublin, bit rude Ronnie: you're in his way Ali: of what Ronnie: 💉 Ali: that's his hangup Ali: like I said, no one is forcing him to do shit here Ali: guilt's part and parcel of 💚 and 💉 ain't it Ronnie: youre not telling me shit I dont know Ronnie: hes the one shitting himself hes gonna get chucked in rehab Ronnie: nobodys coming to take me nowhere Ali: I get it Ali: she's shit at turning up Ali: tell her to work on it Ronnie: do what you want Ronnie: far as sisterly advice what ive got is dont ask me for a shot unless youre after a habit Ali: lecturing ain't my gig rn, she loves a bit of it so honestly no need when her 🧠 will be full of the 💔 Ali: cheers, I'll stick to the just saying no of it all Ronnie: get the money up front when you are gigging Ronnie: and take care of the kid when you aint Ali: I will, I do Ali: he's got a few years to grow before I'm going anywhere Ronnie: yeah Ali: and my wife might stay and they're best friends Ronnie: she was the one trying to rival us for most high Ali: ✌💚💉 Ali: it was a party before you walked in Ali: which I'm aware was very much the idea Ali: can I give you a tattoo I'm good Ronnie: go ahead Ronnie: not gonna be here long like Ali: where do you wanna meet, my rig is way portable Ronnie: [a place nearby wherever they are cos god knows but I doubt Joe wants to see Ali and she aint gonna tell him that's where she's going LOL] Ali: 👍 Ali: about 25 on my 🚲 Ronnie: reckon i can stay alive til then

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