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stargirlie25 · 3 months

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Make it make sense..

I just don´t understand some e/riels logic.....

Like one day, Azriel is Elains mate because he figured out her power and cleared the murky realm she was in.

Another day he is a good protective boyfriend for saying the whole ´´There is an innate darkness that Elain should not be exposed to´´'and that was previously because she got kidnapped due to her powers.

Another day Lucien is a horrible man for saying ´´good´´ after feyre mentioned there has been no sign of her powers even though he originally asked how she was doing not anything to do with her powers.

Apparently that´s bad behavior because Elain should embrace that power. Although when someone mentions how Elain can get uneasy because of it, they say ´´Well she´s going to be stuck with it forever so its best to embrace it´´

BUT Azriel should forever hide his power because he apparently feels better without it?

One day its ´´The bonus chapter isnt even important because not everybody has access to it!´´

Although another day, the bonus chapter thats so useless reveals lightsinger powers for one of the key people in ACOSF? The optional bonus reveals that a character lured in Azriel and has a dangerous spell on him?!

One day its, oh my gosh forbidden love!

Another day its Elain has a choice and she should not be forced into anything!

But she should be Azriels hidden f-toy? She should be forced to that position even though he isnt ever going to be satisfied with her because he wants a mate?

Or its, Elain does not owe Lucien anything! BUTTTT she deserves to give Azriel her time and hide in the darkness with him and play out his fantasies (only thing he wants) even though he refers to her as ´´The thrid´´. Even though SHE HERSELF gave back the necklace out of her own choice. (something e/riels always disrespect and never notice)

Ugh mates are boring! We want rejected mates!

Or its, E/riel are actually mates because Az can smell the bond.

They are mates because Azriel thought so!

Like Elain is literally a conspiracy theory to Azriel miss maam

Or, Elain made a deal with koschei to be Azriels mate.

Its forbidden love!

No its the whole ´´The boy who never got chosen and the girl who never had the option to chose´´

Elain is the light to Azriels darkness!

Wait no Elain is the light IN the darkness!

(Azriels shadows shy away from light and he trains at night and Elain is a light who needs light and chases away darkness)

Death and life!

(Makes sense because the NC sucks the LIFE from her and obviously death can restore it?)

Elain can´t be highlady of the day court!

Yeah because shes totally going to be High lady of the dusk court with Az..

There is nothing wrong with Elains hobbies! (gardening and baking)

Elains going to be the spymaster of the night court because she keeps secrets about a pregnancy and she will wield a dagger it all times!

She will be the savior of Illyria! (Never trained a day in her life)

Stop trying to change Gwyn for a man and try to say shes a spy (even though she literally was spying in the BR like Az was doing at the same time) However Elain can be a spy because she is foreshadowed to be!

Also Elain is foreshadowed to be taking private lessons with Azriel (Gwyn already does. Canon)\

Luciens gifts to Elain prove that he views her as a breakable docile flower but Azriel basic necklace proves that he sees her for the bada$$ she is? (got that from @lorcanisdabest thought it was funny haha)

Azriel feeling insecure and unworthy of being near Elain because of his TRAUMA means nothing! Elain can fix him! Although Gwynriel isnt happening because they were reminded of Gwyns past (which they were both present for) for a HEARTBEAT WHICH IS LITERALLY 0.8 SECONDS AND THAT MEANS THEY CANT THINK OF ANYTHING OTHER THAN THAT AND THAT´S TOXIC!!!!!!

E/riel are mates because a smile bloomed on Azriels face in regards to Elain.

Although its just normal that a smile bloomed on elain face (AFTER HER DAD DIED WHO SHE WAS CLOSEST to) in regards to Lucien. Like thats just clown sh!t.

Amren said Az was underestimating Elain but we should not take her word for it because it was not Azriels (even though thats the only canon piece of what sjm provided on what Azriel could have been doing) BUT we should take feyres word on Elain and Azriel everytime!

There is so much more crap E/riels say but that would take FOREVER. All im saying is that to make your content consistent. Stick to one plot and make it make sense.

Something i have seen with Eluciens and gwynriels is that we have a solid idea on the romantic part for our ships and it stays consistent.

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tinasshelf · 5 months

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I’ll never get over Chaol apologizing to Aelin in QoS, and Aelin not ever acknowledging her own hypocrisy and just going “Yeah sorry I tried to kill you, teehee!” …intimate partner violence is not cute.

Chaol had every right to be frustrated with her and while he shouldn’t have given her so much blame and could’ve expressed himself better, a lot of his concerns where completely valid and reasonable. Aelin blamed Chaol for things completely out of his control (Dorians capture, Nehemias death) and went against her word and tried to kill Dorian. But the difference is shes never expected to apologize or even acknowledge that she was ever in the wrong.

HES the one who has to come to Aelin with an apology. Because he wasn’t riding her dick the whole time and actually gave her some pushback? Because he couldn’t read her mind when she choses to withold infomation for no reason, even though he was always complicit in her plans? Alright then !!

(I don’t want to seem like I hate Aelin btw, I just went through a rough patch with her esp in this book.)

#throne of glass #anti aelin #pro chaol #anti sjm #Don’t get me wrong I don’t hate Aelin #but sjm has a huge problem with unknowingly writing her mcs as hypocrites #queen of shadows #Chaol Westfall #aelin ashryver galathynius

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starsreminisce · 4 months

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Feyre did not leave Spring because she felt trapped by Tamlin, who also refused to train her new powers.

Aelin did not always pick Chaol, who feared her power.

For Elain to chase after a male who told the Inner Council, without her there, that she shouldn’t search for the trove because of its innate darkness.

Especially after she proved herself by stabbing Hybern in the neck with his own weapon.

For Elain to give a male a second chance after he had stayed away from her for half a year.

Especially after he explicitly stated that kissing her would have been a mistake.

Feyre and Aelin fell in love with their mates. They did not choose to do so. They realized that they were when they were already in the middle of it.

Especially after their mates saw their potential and nurtured it with their unwavering support.

Bet that the same will happen to Elain.

Especially that we know Lucien will travel across the world just because of a vision she saw.

#antie/riel #antielriel #we still chasing men who want nothing to do with us in the year of our lord 2023?#feysand #feyre acotar #aelin galathynius #rowaelin #elucien #pro elucien #pro elain archeron #elain x lucien

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whatthe-everythingstaken · 1 month

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I’ve been reading SJM books the past few months and I honestly did not expect the amount of actual fighting happening between grown women about ships.

I love it. Please bring me into it

I don’t have strong opinions about any characters but I’ll form them if someone wants to argue I promise

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bonniesfamiliar · 2 months

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I HAVE TO RANT.

The only series of SJM I can ever read is TOG (Throne of Glass) and that's it.

That is the only one of her series that has the best worldbuilding, plot twists, romance and characters.

ACOTAR RUINED fantasy novels for me and not even in a good way.

I mean, in a bad way, that I can't pick up a fantasy novel anymore, in fear that it'll be like ACOTAR.

Yes, I used to be a sweet summer child who thought ACOTAR was amazing, Rhysand was so romantic and Tamlin was a tool.

I was the tool.

I'm now in college and I read ACOTAR & ACOMAF & ACOWAR last year.

I stopped after ACOWAR because NEVER FUCKING AGAIN WILL YOU CATCH ME READ THAT SERIES.

I can't even begin with the non-existent lines between misogyny and romance and hypocrisy and the lack of actual world-building and how I NEED to drag the Archeron Sisters FAR FAR AWAY, YES ALL THREE OF THEM.

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chunkypossum · 7 months

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Sarah Janet we need answers to the important questions.

#throne of glass #aelin galathynius #what happened to vaughn Sarah?!?#who even is vaughn #we don’t even get to know him #why was he introduced at all #sjm theory #sjm #anti sjm #sjm universe #sjmaas #acotar #crescent city #who is that #Aedion smiled #Rowan

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lorcandidlucienwill · 5 months

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TOG characters meet ACOTAR characters part 1

It was the annual Yulemas celebration, and all of Aelin’s friends + Lorcan had convened in Terrasen’s palace. Everyone from Ansel of Briarcliff to Manon Crochan Blackbeak came. Even Yrene with her abdomen that was now showing had come. Aelin and Rowan’s home had never felt more full. It was an amazing feeling. She wondered if this was how it would feel to have children.

She pushed the feeling aside. As much as she wanted children, she wasn’t ready for that kind of commitment yet. Terrasen’s rebuilding came first.

Aelin was wearing a shiny silver dress while her mate wore green armor (sigh, when was he going to start wearing normal clothing?) that brought out his eyes. Fenrys on the other hand, was having way too much fun dressing up. He’d shown up in a full-blown white toga, paired with a golden laurel and golden waistband. He’d tied half his hair up and left the rest to cascade in waves around his shoulders. He seemed just fine as he went to annoy Lorcan, but Aelin could sense the sadness radiating out of him. Aelin just wished she knew how to fix it.

Lorcan was not in black (gasp!), but rather it seemed he had been forced into dark red robes by his wife, who wore a matching dark red dress. It never failed to amuse Aelin that one, his name was Lord Lorcan Lochan, and two, he willingly followed the small, delicate young Lady of Perranth’s every order. He had been teaching her how to read while helping rebuild Perranth, so Aelin would sometimes catch Elide reading children’s books out of the Terrasen royal library.

Chaol was awkwardly standing in a corner with Manon, of all the people. Dorian was dancing with Chaol’s wife, leaving the two standing near each other. Chaol looked slightly pale and constantly stared at Manon’s hands, as if waiting for the iron nails to unsheathe themselves. Aelin decided to spare her old friend and come in between them.

Once she was within earshot (since she was Fae, she was still quite far from them), she heard Manon hiss in his ear, “Agree to dance with me Chaol, so that Dorian thinks I’m playing nice with his friends.”

“Are you playing nice with his friends though?” Chaol dared to ask.

“Do I look nice to you, human? Come, let’s dance.” Manon grabbed his hand.

“Mind your manners, witch,” Aelin said coolly, stepping towards them. There was a glimmer of relief in Chaol’s eyes as Aelin interfered. “I’ll keep her from doing anything murderous, don’t worry,” Aelin said, patting Chaol on the arm. Then they began to dance.

Manon had very little grace, but Chaol made up for it with his own steering.

“No interest in dancing, my queen?” Rowan suddenly appeared in front of him, offering a tattooed hand to dance. Aelin snorted. “Still pretending to be a gentleman, I see.” But she accepted the hand and let him pull her to the dance floor.

Aelin swished and swayed around, and Rowan laughed. “Are you drunk already, my queen?”

Aelin shook her head. “No, the floor is just unsteady.”

“Why would it be unsteady?” Rowan asked. But then he suddenly tilted sideways. “Oh shit.” Aelin had no time to react when she and a majority of the guests at her party got sucked into a vacuum in the ground like a black hole. Meanwhile in Velaris… Gwyn rolled her eyes as she trained with Emerie and Nesta. “Merill has become more and more obsessed with her otherworld theory ever since you used the Harp. I don’t know how she found out about it, but…” Gwyn swiped low with her sword and aimed a kick at Emerie, who dodged it quickly. “She’s convinced she’s found a way she can actually look into other worlds. I told her she’s barking, and she got mad.”

Nesta snorted. “I’d be pretty irritated too if a little priestess called me crazy.”

Gwyn elbowed her, and the three of them laughed. Merill’s experiments were ridiculous anyway.

Lucien was just strolling through the streets of Velaris when he was hit by flying fae.

The Mother must really hate him, he decided. He’s just minding his own business on any other day and of COURSE he’s hit in the face by a body.

“That’s it, I’m done with this shit,” Lucien grumbled, pushing the body off of him. He found himself staring into the eyes of a beautiful female. Her eyes were a turquoise with a ring of gold around the pupil, with long flowing blonde hair that fell to her waist. She was wearing an elegant crown along with a silver dress so sparkly Lucien almost had to look away. But that wasn’t the strangest thing. No, the strangest thing was that…

“I can smell the flame on you,” he said. The female just stared at him, confused. Then she replied back in a foreign language.

Lucien recognized it from a class he had taken ages ago. He was probably the only one of his brothers who would ever recognize it, as he had had the most thorough education as the youngest child. He was pretty sure there would never come an occasion where he’d need to converse in such a dead language, but here he was.

“I can’t understand you,” she had said. “No one has spoken that language here in thousands of years,” Lucien replied back in that old tongue. His words sounded strange, like they were spoken by a different person.

The blonde girl gasped. “Oh no. I must have traveled between worlds.”

Lucien raised a brow. “Impressive. How’d you manage that?”

The girl shook her head. “This was not supposed to happen. The Wyrdgates are closed.”

“I have no idea what Wyrdgates are, but I’m pretty sure there are multiple ways to cut across worlds.” The girl stared at him. “Where am I?”

Lucien shrugged. “Prythian.”

“My friends- they must have fallen here with me. Where are they?”

Lucien shrugged. “I don’t know. I only saw you, as you literally knocked me down.”

The girl winced. “Sorry about that.”

Lucien smirked. “There are better ways to get my attention than sitting on my face.”

The girl smirked back but replied with, “You’re hot for sure, but I’m married.”

Lucien stood up, brushed off his clothes, then offered the girl a hand. “I was only joking. I’m a mated male.”

The girl took it. “What a coincidence. I’m also mated. What is your name?”

“Lucien. You?”

The girl grinned. “Aelin.”

Lucien and Aelin searched around Velaris for her friends. It wasn’t hard to find most of them. They were all dressed in strange attire and looked extremely disoriented. Lucien soon met Aelin’s mate and husband, a male who looked as if he’d fit right into the Summer Court with his white hair and tanned skin. He later found a male he could only describe as golden. Golden hair, golden skin, golden on his clothes. He gasped when he saw Lucien. Lucien had raised a brow. “Is something wrong?”

The golden male had replied with, “Wow…your hair. It’s so bright, and thick, and colorful, and long, and shiny!!!!!” He’d turned to the white-haired male and said, “I want red hair now, Rowan.”

Lucien had to stifle a laugh. “Thanks.”

“How do you maintain your hair?” The golden male, who Lucien soon came to know was named Fenrys, kept asking him about his hair care routine and it occupied them until Aelin found their other friends.

Lorcan groaned as he got off the ground. He was covered in snow, having landed in a nice, clean patch of it. He panicked for a moment, searching for his wife before he realized he hadn’t let go of her hand. Elide was right next to him, and she looked a little winded but otherwise ok. On Lorcan’s other side several feet down, he could see Manon, Chaol, Dorian, and Yrene getting off the ground. Yrene was frantically patting her womb, trying to ensure that her baby was still alive. Lorcan resisted the urge to shout that her baby was just fine. He had no idea what sort of enemies were here.

He got up and gently pulled his wife with him. Together, they began to walk towards the King of Adarlan. Just then, he saw Aelin walk around the corner with Fenrys, Rowan, and a strange male with red hair and a scar that added a dangerous edge to his handsome face.

Together, Lorcan and company walked towards Aelin.

“Who the hell are you,” Lorcan asked shortly of the redhead.

Aelin tsked. “Sorry about him, Lucien. He’s a miserable bastard, but don’t let him put you out. You ever need him to do something, just ask his wife, Elide.” She gestured to the woman whose hand Lorcan still held.

Lorcan scowled, but the male who Aelin referred to as Lucien looked him over and grinned.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Lorcan demanded. The male with glossy red hair and a wicked scar to go with the metal eye on one side of his face only grinned and replied, "You're taller than Cassian."

“Who the hell is Cassian?”

Lucien shrugged. “Nobody important. An annoying, bratty, overgrown bat.” Lucien turned to Aelin. “I’m assuming you’ll want a safe place to stay temporarily with all your subjects.”

Aelin raised a brow. “Subjects?”

Lucien snorted. “I don’t think ordinary citizens walk around with that kind of glamour or with crowns on their heads.” He gestured to all of them. “I have a residence in this city. I’ll take you all there.”

Lorcan wasn’t sure if they could trust the male, but he seemed decent enough. Lorcan could smell no ill will on him. He wondered at the scar on his face. Fae did not scar easily, and for him to have a metal eye like that…he must have survived unbearable cruelty. He immediately thought of his wife’s ruined ankle, a product of the tower she had been locked in for ten years, and he clenched his teeth. What kind of fucked up shit went on in this world?

#lucien vanserra #pro lucien vanserra #lorcan salvaterre #aelin galathynius #rowan whitethorn #fenrys moonbeam #elide lochan #manon blackbeak #dorian havilliard #chaol westfall #yrene towers #anti cassian #nesta archeron #gwyneth berdara #emerie of illyria #the valkyries #fanfic

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highladyofterrasen7 · 4 months

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“Why do people hate chaol”

We hate chaol because for the longest time Celaena/aelin hated chaol. When reading you somewhat absorb the feelings of certain characters, with c/a’s dislike of him, we disliked him. She disliked him because he didn’t tell her of the threat to nehemia’s life which caused her to spiral into despair and we sympathised with her, after all the death of a friend you felt like you could’ve prevented is heartbreaking. It’s why due to ToD many people came to like chaol because the book was free of the bias that came with c/a’s pov.

And lots of people were able to overcome that and like chaol and ToD, some were not and some (like me) are somewhat on the fence

#I hope this makes sense #sarah j maas #throne of glass #aelin galathynius #celaena sardothien #chaol westfall #tower of dawn #pro chaol #not entirely but I feel like you’re the people who could use this #yrene towers #yrene westfall #chaorene #this is 100% not anti aelin #it’s her perspective and her feelings #this doesn’t even include his personality

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lady-riel · 4 months

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haven't popped in with a hot anti sjm take in a while so here we go

if Aelin was a man, everyone reading tog would say that he belongs in a maximum-security psychiatric facility, but because she's a woman that somehow makes it ✨girlboss✨

#throne of glass #tog #anti sjm #celaena sardothien #aelin galathynius

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leiawritesstories · 8 months

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stay a while, it's safe here

Rowaelin Month, Day 8: Single Parents

Word count: 3,070

Warnings: angst, references to past abusive and toxic relationship, big heavy emotions, few scattered swear words

A/N: I'm both apprehensive and ready to share this, because it is...heavy. it's angsty. it's not a fluff fic. it has been in the works for a while now, though, and being able to share it means the world to me, so thank you deeply if you choose to read :)

also, i'll be taking a few days off after this, partially because the fic drained me a bit and partially because i've just started a new semester of college classes and i have a big fat paper for constitutional law class that's gonna require hella research

You only feel it when it's lost Gettin' through still has a cost Quietly, it slips through your fingers, love Falling from you drop by drop

~ Hozier, "Who We Are"

@rowaelinscourt

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Night had fallen over Doranelle when Aelin finally pulled off the interstate and slowed down as she drove up the ramp and turned into the slumbering city. The streets were nearly deserted save for a handful of other late-night drivers, probably travelers like herself, their vehicles chugging quietly through the gentle drizzle drifting from the skies. The light rain dusted a soft sheen of crystals all over the city; the drops glittered faintly in the yellow hues of the streetlights.

After what felt like an eternity, Aelin turned into the parking lot of a simple brownstone building whose sign labeled it "Mistward Hall Bed & Breakfast -- Your Home Away From Home." She found an open spot, parked her car, turned off the engine, and exhaled a soul-deep sigh of pure relief.

For at least a snatch of time, she was safe.

She glanced into the backseat, eyes locking on the small figure slumbering peacefully in the bright purple booster seat that had been installed in the car after multiple screaming tantrums. Four-year-old Alanna Galathynius was fast asleep, her mussed blonde curls squished against the side of her head where she'd leant into the carseat's headrest, her little button lips dropped halfway open as she slept.

"Mama will be right back, my little love," Aelin whispered. Grabbing her purse, she ducked out of the car, locked it, and kept one eye on the vehicle for the whole of the three minutes it took her to enter the B&B, check in, and return to the car, which was conveniently parked right by the entrance. Lana was still there, still peacefully asleep.

"Come here, little love," Aelin murmured, carefully unfastening her daughter's seatbelt and lifting the small child into her arms. "Shh, lovey, it's alright, Mama has you." She cuddled her daughter close, whispering softly to her as she took the overnight bags out of the backseat, arranged them so she could carry both the luggage and her daughter, and headed inside.

It was only a short walk to the suite where she and Lana were staying for a few nights, and Lana was still fast asleep when Aelin unlocked the door, entered the room, and laid her daughter on the smaller bed. Gently, she unfastened and took off Lana's shoes and jacket, slid the barrette from her unruly hair, and decided not to try and change her into pajamas. "You're safe, baby, I swear it. Rest now, Lana love," Aelin murmured. She kissed her daughter's forehead and tucked her into bed. Within fifteen minutes, she too was burrowed into the comfort of a warm bed, and sleep claimed her almost as soon as she had closed her eyes.

It started with a collision and a smile.

Aelin was twenty years old, a senior at Adarlan University thanks to AP credit and accelerated courses, and she was walking back to the campus apartment she shared with Elide, Lysandra, and Nehemia when she collided with a body that had come out of seemingly nowhere.

"Oh god! I'm so sorry," she gasped, stumbling over herself, her feet, and her words as she picked herself up and scrambled to collect the notebooks she'd dropped all over the sidewalk.

"No, no, it's all my fault for not paying attention to where I was going." The guy she'd just run into--a few inches taller than her, standard athletic build, brown hair, brown eyes, khakis and a fraternity polo shirt--offered her a charming smile. "I'm Chaol Westfall, and I have no sense of direction."

That got her to crack a smile. "I'm Aelin Galathynius, and I really need to look at my surroundings once in a while." She shook his hand.

They exchanged idle chatter for a few minutes before Chaol flashed another of those polished, charming smiles and hit her with the unexpected, but not unwelcome, question. "Could I have your number, Aelin? I know we've just met, but I really want to get to know you better. Maybe coffee? Lunch?"

The warm, tingly feeling of being appreciated and asked on a date spread through Aelin's limbs. "I'd like that," she agreed, typing her number into Chaol's phone. "I have an insane schedule, but I'm always free on Tuesday afternoons."

"Tuesday it is, then." Chaol's parting smile stayed at the front of her mind until their first date. Which turned into another date, and another, and studying at his frat house, and visits to her apartment, late nights and exhausted crashes and everything.

His only potential flaw was how oblivious he was to when she was really, deeply struggling. But Aelin hadn't spent years fortifying the barricades around her mind and memory for nothing.

She graduated, and he was there for her, smiling his whitened smile and holding her close to his side, the perfect proud boyfriend. She got a job in the city, and he offered to let her move into his townhouse, even declined her repeated attempts to contribute to the rent. Let me take care of you, he insisted.

Being young and foolish and fancying herself in love, she'd acquiesced. Lost in the throes of young love, of first love, she hadn't recognized the warning signs until it was too late.

"What do you mean, I shouldn't drive myself to work?" Aelin literally couldn't understand where Chaol was coming from. "Babe, I've been driving myself around in this city for years, and everything has been perfectly smooth and safe and fine."

"You don't understand, Aelin, babe," he sighed, rubbing one hand over his face in what appeared to be worry. "The crime downtown, it's grown so massively in these last few months--there was a goddamn scene only a few blocks from your office last week!" He grasped her hands, running his thumbs soothingly over her knuckles. "I can't keep going through my days wondering if you'll leave work and find your car stolen or broken into or compromised and if you'll never make it back home." The anguish in his voice, in his face, was so convincing.

She stepped closer and looped her arms around his neck. "I can change my parking permit to one for the garage. It's not that much more expensive, and it's definitely safer than street parking."

He shook his head, pulling her closer as if in protection. "It's still not enough, babe. I...I need to drop you off and pick you up, otherwise I'm afraid I'll go fucking insane."

"Babe," she whispered, sympathy glowing in her still-innocent eyes, "is that the only way you'll feel safe?"

"Yeah," he murmured.

Aelin exhaled deeply, choosing to cede this battle. "Alright. You can be my chauffeur."

"Thanks, babe." He kissed her gently. "It's for the best, it really is."

For a while longer, she believed it.

A little over a year after she moved in with Chaol, Aelin went out with Lysandra and came home to an empty house, which made her stop for a moment. For as long as she could remember, Chaol had been home whenever she returned from going somewhere, or he'd been the one going with her, so he was there with her when she returned. So, the empty house threw her for a loop.

As did the lingering stench of cheap beer.

Still, like she'd become accustomed to doing, Aelin texted her boyfriend once she'd set down her purse. I'm home, babe. Simple and direct, the little heart punctuating the sentence a reminder that she was there and waiting for him.

He didn't respond.

It was late, later than she wanted to be awake, when he half-stumbled through the front door, the faint but unmistakable sheen of alcohol glazing his eyes.

"Hey, babe," she greeted him, tentative.

He blinked, slowly adjusting to his surroundings. "Aelin? Babe? Where are you?" His speech was clearly enunciated--perhaps he wasn't that drunk after all.

"Right here," she responded, coming to stand in front of him. "I texted you when I got home, just like you want."

"How long were you'n Lys out?" The question was casually asked.

She shrugged. "Oh, probably longer than we meant to be, but I haven't seen her in ages since we've been so busy, and I--ah!"

The sharp, burning sting of his palm across her cheek stunned her into silence.

He stared at her with huge, disbelieving eyes. "I'm so sorry, babe," he breathed, immediately folding her into his arms and spilling apology after apology. "I'm so sorry. I think I'm drunk, I don't know why I did that, god I'm so sorry, babe." He went into the kitchen and grabbed an ice pack out of the freezer, wrapped it in a towel, and settled it gingerly against the blazing red imprint on her cheek. "I'm so sorry," he repeated.

She believed him when he said that, too. She kept believing him the next time, and the next time, and the next time. He loves me, she told herself as she concealed the bruises with artistic makeup and stylish clothing. He isn't himself. He's drunk.

Are you sure he isn't himself? pushed a tiny little voice in the back of her mind. Or are you just believing him because he'll hurt you worse if you disagree?

She told that insidious, dangerously true voice to go fuck itself. Even if it was right, even if she was making excuses for a boyfriend who was a completely different man now that he was when she'd met him two years ago, he was still her boyfriend, and he still loved her. He said so himself.

Then she found herself pregnant, and everything changed.

Aelin had resisted telling Chaol she was pregnant for as long as she possibly could, both out of fear that he would react badly and out of her lingering worry that she had inherited her mother's fertility struggles and might lose the pregnancy. When she made it to the second trimester, though, she couldn't wait any longer, and she told her boyfriend. She was terrified, shaking with nerves the whole time.

Chaol was floored with shock, but he reacted surprisingly well. He swore that he'd clean himself up, that he'd stop going out to clubs and bars and parties with his old frat brothers, that he'd become the man and father he needed to be.

Pretty words. Empty lies, all of it.

At six months pregnant, with her heart just about ripping out of her chest, Aelin broke up with Chaol and moved out of his townhouse into Elide's apartment. He'd tried to sober up--for about two weeks, and then he'd chosen the party life over his girlfriend and unborn child. He'd come home wasted out of his mind. He'd...he'd hurt her, and he'd been completely callous to the horror that he could have hurt the baby.

So she left.

And he followed.

He followed her to work, where he cajoled her with pretty, plaintive words to come back home. He followed her to her new neighborhood, where he pleaded with her not to cut him off from the girl he loved. He followed her on her errands, where he listed all the reasons he was sorry and how he'd do better if she just gave him one more chance. He followed her to the doctor's office when she had ultrasound appointments, where he begged her to keep him in the baby's life.

It took Lorcan Salvaterre--Elide's huge, hulking, and honestly rather terrifying boyfriend--to convince Chaol to stay the fuck away from Aelin, who clearly didn't want to see him any more.

A month before Lana was born, Aelin left Adarlan for good, telling no one, and flew back home to Orynth. She changed her phone number, her email address, deleted her rarely-touched Instagram account, bought a new laptop and wiped the old one clean before discarding it. Her cousin Aedion gave her his spare room, no questions asked, and provided the steady, stable support she needed during the last month of her pregnancy, through her birth, and through her recovery.

Over the flurry of months that turned too quickly into years, Aelin found herself slowly healing, the cracks in her fragile heart repaired with the love of her family and friends and the all-consuming love she bore for her daughter. She grew more secure; she laid aside the tension and anxiety that she'd turn around one day to find Chaol behind her, ready to barge back into her life and steal everything she'd come to love.

She should have known that he would hold a grudge.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" The words spilled out of Aelin in a breathless gasp.

Standing opposite her in the parking lot of the grocery store, Chaol lifted his hands to placate her. "I'm not here to cause any trouble, babe."

"Like hell you are." Her vehemence came as a surprise. "I'm not falling for your bullshit lies anymore, Chaol. Why are you here?"

His face hardened. "You've kept my daughter away from me for years, and you have the fucking nerve to ask me what I'm doing?" He laughed coldly. "She's mine too, Aelin."

"She will never be your daughter," Aelin hissed. "You forfeited any claim you might have had when you...when you ab-ab-abused me." The last words came out in a halting rasp.

"Don't be dramatic," he condescended. "I admit I've had troubles with anger management, but I would never consciously hurt the girl I loved, and I'd certainly never abuse her."

Her jaw slacked in disbelief. "You are such a liar," she breathed. He isn't worth your time, her inner voice reminded her, and so she breathed deeply and ended the interaction. "Go home, Chaol. Don't you ever step foot in my personal space again."

Chaol followed her to Aedion's house, because he just didn't know how to stop or when to take no for an answer. He stayed outside the house, too smart to pull into the driveway and trespass on private property, but too stubborn to admit defeat.

"I'm terrified, Aeds," Aelin admitted after dinner, curled up in a tight, tense ball on the couch. "He just...he's not going to just disappear."

"He will if I make him," Aedion growled. "Bastard."

"Language," she chided, shooting a sharp look at Lana, who was happily throwing foam blocks around the living room. "That's all kinds of illegal, Aeds."

"Legal and illegal don't matter when your probably-psychotic ex is stalking you, Aelin."

She was quiet, knowing that her cousin spoke the truth. "I won't let him force me to run."

"But you want to leave, anyway."

"Yes." She nodded, firmly. "Only for a little while. It'll be like a vacation, just me and Lana. It'll leave you and your...friends...free to handle the Chaol situation."

He propped his chin on one fist and latched his solemn gaze onto hers. "Are you sure, Ae?"

"I am." Despite the deep-seated fear glimmering behind her veil of conviction, Aelin's voice was strong.

"Okay." Rising, Aedion wrapped Aelin into a breath-stealing hug. Just soft enough for her to hear, he whispered one word into her ear.

Doranelle.

The mountain city was just over 500 miles away. It had been on Aelin's vacation bucket list for years, and she'd never made it out there.

"Lodging?"

"Here." He scrawled a phone number on a piece of scrap paper. "One of my buddies always rattles on about this place."

"Okay." She gave him a hesitant but genuine smile and headed down to her room to pack and make a reservation.

Rowan had the night shift at the B&B that week, because he had stupidly gone and agreed to switch shifts with Enda. Lesson learned: never trust a man who says he prefers stay-home nights. Most guests came in and out during the daytime and early evening hours, though, so he didn't entirely mind the night shift. It was just a pain having to stay half-awake in case he was called to the front desk.

As if the thought had summoned it, the buzzer went off. Rowan suppressed a tired sigh and walked out to the reception desk, sliding a toned-down version of his customer service smile onto his face. That smile morphed into something damn near awe when he saw the impossibly beautiful woman waiting at the front desk.

He shook himself out of that highly unprofessional thought. "Hello."

"Hi." Through her exhaustion, the woman could barely muster a tiny hint of a smile. "I'm here to check in. Aelin Galathynius?" She held out her driver's license and credit card.

He typed the name into the computer and nodded. "Three nights, yes?"

"Yes."

"Perfect." He checked her ID. Aelin Galathynius, a poetically lovely name fit for such a stunning woman. "Do we have permission to keep this credit card on file for incidentals for the duration of your stay?"

"Yes."

"Thank you." He typed something else. "All right, Ms. Galathynius, you're all checked in." He passed back her ID and credit card and handed her a key--a real metal key. "You'll be in room 203."

"Thank you." She offered him another tiny, tired smile and went back out to her car. In a handful of minutes, she reentered, pulling two suitcases and a toe bag behind her. And carrying a fast-asleep little girl with the exact same hair and face structure as hers.

Rowan had seen a vast myriad of travelers passing through the B&B throughout the years his family had owned the place--families, single people, friends, students, commuters, the list was endless. He liked to think he'd grown proficient at reading the stories on the travelers' faces as they passed through; he liked to imagine what could have brought them to scenic, picturesque Doranelle.

The woman--Aelin--the exhaustion on her face and the tender protectiveness with which she cradled her child told a story Rowan had never wanted to see again. Hers was a story of pain that followed in her footsteps, but also of the incredible strength it took to push forward and of the powerful love she clearly had for her child.

He didn't know Aelin. He doubted he ever would know her, other than as a guest passing through the Whitethorn family's B&B.

In that moment, though, Rowan knew that he would do anything that that woman wanted, whether his actions would be known or not.

Even make the demons from her past disappear.

"Stay a while," he whispered after Aelin had gone upstairs. "It's safe here. You are safe here."

~~~

#my writing #rowaelin month #rowaelin month 2023 #rowaelin #aelin galathynius #rowan whitethorn #rowan x aelin #rowaelin fanfic #rowaelin fanfiction #chaol westfall #kinda anti chaol tbh #throne of glass #throne of glass fanfic #throne of glass fanfiction #tw: abuse #tw: toxic relationships #to be perfectly honest though i'm not vehemently anti chaol i just happen to use him like this often #he can make a compelling antagonist i think

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