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skzhua · 1 year

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listen carefully ('your eyes' series)

♡ "Do you trust me?"

pairing: bang chan x reader.

genre: fluff, a glimpse of angst, idiots-to-lovers.

word count: 8,659

warnings: swearing, drinking, slight angst, chan and reader are so oblivious (mostly reader).

summary: your first mistake was to major in music in college. your second mistake was to change classes and end up in bang chan's. your third was to accept his help to pass the class. your last mistake was to push him away.

a/n: not gonna lie, this one took me forever and i don't like it much, though i think it's still very cute. 2 scenarios done out of 8!

SERIES MASTERLIST

You looked back and forth from your schedule to the classroom in front of you. When you applied for a music major, you did not expect that this would involve sound testing classes. You wanted to sing and write lyrics, not do any of this producing shit. Plus, the course was scheduled from 8am to 10:30am. There was no way you would be doing whatever this is every single Monday morning for an entire semester.

With an elongated groan, you walked in the classroom and found a place in the back. You weren't even going to listen, so you plugged your earphones in and put down your head on your desk. You slept throughout the whole 30 minutes of course introduction and woke up when another student poked your sides. You immediately walked up to the teacher and asked if there was a possibility for you to switch classes. To your luck, one spot was still available in her afternoon course and you just so happened to have the rest of the day off.

In the meantime, you took it upon yourself to explore the area alone. You stumbled across a small coffee shop, so you decided you deserved to be caffeinated for your first day. After ordering a chai latte, you went on with your self tour of the campus. Taking a turn in a hallway, you collided against another student, falling on the ground in the process.

"Shit, I'm so sorry." you heard as you rubbed your sides.

Looking up, a hand was already extended to you to help you up. "Yeah, sorry too." you grunted, still in pain.

The man helped you gather your things on the ground and gasped at the sight of your lyrics book, that had opened during the fall. "Are those poems?"

"Sort of." you answered shyly.

“Can I take a look?”

You acquiesced, a bit reluctant. He scanned through the pages and nodded as he read. Pausing for some parts, he was very expressive from what you had written. You nervously waited for him to finish.

“It’s pretty good! It could be made into a song, you know?”

“That’s the goal.” you laughed out.

“Are you in music, too?” he gasped, excited.

“Yes, I just transferred here.”

He smiled widely. “Welcome, then.” Smiling back at him, you felt intimidated by the interaction. An attractive man speaking to you on your first day? What could be any better? “I have to go to class. I’ll see you around then.”

He left with a wink and you were a blushing mess by then. Your gaze lingered on his back as he walked further from you.

"Y/N?" Looking for the source of the voice, you spotted your dorm mate, Dahye with a girl walking next to her. "May I present you Byeol." she smiled as she introduced her friend. The latter looked unbothered as she waved briefly before going back on her phone. "So? How's the first day?"

You shrugged since you really didn't have much to say. "Fine, I suppose."

"I see you met Chan." Dahye wiggled her eyebrows. "The brightest music senior student."

"So that's his name, uh." you muttered to yourself. "I bumped into him, that's all."

"Oh, well. I'll see you tonight! We are running late."

And so were you. Checking the time, you had a brief three minutes remaining before the class started. You didn't even know where the course was given. As you rushed through the hallways, you finally found an auditorium where the same woman from the morning class was standing. Bashfully, you walked in the room and sat at the first spot you saw, excusing yourself for bothering.

This went on essentially exactly like the morning class. The teacher introduced the course plan and answered some of the questions. The topics were interesting. However, you had no clue on how you would be using the material in your future career. Throughout your life, you had always worked alongside your father for the music you made. He was a music producer himself, meaning you did not need to worry of this part of the song making process.

After the professor dismissed the students, you were slowly putting back your books in your bag when you saw a shadow stop at your desk. Smiling as his dimples showed, Chan and another man were standing right in front of you.

"It makes sense you're a music major." he chuckled. "This is my friend, Jisung."

You bowed slightly to the man who copied your move before stepping away a bit. What was it with people and introductions today?

"I'm surprised to see you here, I thought you were in your last year of college." you said, getting up from your seat.

"Ah." he laughed shyly. "It's a complementary class, I've actually done it already, but the teacher asked me to help out her other students, like this guy over here." he nodded towards Jisung. "I won't be here every class, though. I'm part of the music club so I have to deal with that as well. And I work part-time at the library."

The man was truly an exemplary student, being so dedicated to school. It both impressed and scared you. He kept on explaining what he does for the campus and mentioned a few people. He was very social and comfortable to converse with, it made you feel at ease. He also suggested to give you a tour of the place himself. You felt uneasy from being shown such kindness, but you gladly accepted his offer. Anyway, you'd had to make some friends at some point and befriending this social guy might be of a good help. Eventually, Jisung left the two of you to go home. Chan stayed with you as you tried to find your way back to your dorm.

"Do you need help with that too?" he joked, but you were sincerely lost.

"Please?" you pouted, making him chuckle.

"Alright, what's your dorm address?"

As you searched for it on your phone, a girl came up to Chan from behind. She back hugged him as she started to talk with him in a very casual manner. Chan ruffled her hair as he hugged her back, asking her about her day. Having found your dorm number, you stood still to wait until he was done with his small talk. He soon realized you were still there, so he introduced you to the girl.

"Sora, this is Y/N. She's in my sound art practices class. Y/N, this is my best friend, Sora."

"Hi! Happy to meet you!" she smiled at you warmly. She was the first person aside from Dahye and Chan to be more civil with introductions.

"Likewise." you smiled back before turning your attention back on Chan. "I can go find my dorm alone if you two want to hang out."

"No, no. I'll show you, don't worry." he said and gave a sad look to Sora. "Do you mind going without me for today? I'll join you later."

"Yeah, sure." she answered, but hesitation could still be heard in her tone. "Do you want Minho and I to order for you?"

"It's fine, thanks. Later?" he said, kissing the top of her head and she nodded before leaving.

"Maybe you should go? She looks disappointed." you pointed out while starting to head towards your dorm.

"She's fine. Her and Minho can be awkward when left alone together, that's all." he shrugged.

You didn't insist any more and walked next to him and he asked you a few questions about yourself. His presence was warm and you were almost disappointed when you had finally reached your dorm.

"Thank you for walking me home."

"No worries." Chan chuckled. "Again, welcome to the school. I'll see you next week, then?"

"Yeah, next week."

He watched you go inside before leaving. It was no surprise that you were alone since Dahye would always come late. For the time being, you pulled out your books and planned out your schedule. You added your new workplace you'd be starting to work at to your weekends. The small convenience store on the other side of the street was a perfect job while still being in your studies. It paid surprisingly good and the shifts were very flexible.

Dahye almost broke the door when she came inside, her heavy school bag dragged behind her. It was close to 10pm and you wondered what she was doing out so late.

"If Byeol makes me watch the three To All The Boys I've Loved Before again, I'm killing myself." she grunted before sitting on her bed.

"She doesn't seem like the kind to be into romcoms."

She gave you a look as she huffed. "It's her entire life, I swear. Like, I get the hype, but to this extent? No thanks."

You shrugged your shoulders as you went back to your agenda. In all honesty, you were the romantic kind as well. The only difference was that you had very high standards in relationships, resulting to you still being single. You had never dated someone in long term because you would sense it if the connection was off.

"I got some ramens at the store on my way here. Want to share?" Dahye prompted, holding two bowls of instant noodles.

So far, you had two friends in your list: Dahye and Jeongin. The boy worked at the convenience store with you and was still in his first year, but it was his second term. The thing you absolutely adored about Jeongin was how aware he was of all the drama happening. And by everything, I mean everything.

"That girl went out with Minho." he pointed to the girl Dahye introduced you as Byeol who was behind you in the cafeteria. "It's so weird seeing them eat together."

"Maybe they fixed things between them." you shrugged your shoulders.

"I doubt it. Look at how Minho looks at her."

You glanced briefly at the group and saw that, indeed, Minho had daggers in his eyes. "You're very invested in this." you laughed.

"Oh shit." Jeongin muttered, suddenly trying to hide behind you.

"What is it?"

He pointed somewhere and you met eyes with a girl walking alongside Chan and Sora. She was visibly uncomfortable and sticking closely to Sora. The latter was as clingy to Chan.

"Who's this?" you asked.

"Youngmi. She lives in the same building as me and she is the embodiment of ethereal, if you want my opinion."

You exploded in laughter as you started to tease the young man who couldn't help but pout as his face turned red. "Looks like Innie has a little crush."

"Say it any louder please." he joked. "I don't know, I saw her a few times and she gets all flustered when she sees someone she doesn't know. It's cute."

Eyes still on the trio, Chan caught you staring and sent you a wave as he smiled. He tugged Sora's side, arguing for a bit, before he dragged the two girls with him. Soon enough, they were standing in front of you and Jeongin. By then, Jeongin had frozen completely as Youngmi said a small "hey" to him. Freshmen love...

"Do you mind if we join?" Chan said, already in the motion of sitting down.

"Go ahead." you gestured the seats.

While he positioned himself on the chair happily, Sora seemed unsure in following her friend's actions. Nonetheless, she sat down and started to eat in silence as Jeongin and Chan exchanged in a calm conversation. You noticed she glanced at you a couple of times, but you ignored her. She also seemed to drift her eyes towards Minho's table, almost as if she was looking for help. The girl had always been nice to you. Although you wouldn't consider her as a friend, she had grown distant to you for the past weeks and you had a good idea as to why. You weren't blind, you saw how infatuated she was with Chan and you were not planning on ruining what was going on between them. However, consciously or not, she was visibly starting to see you as a threat.

"I talked with Mrs. Ko." Chan suddenly addressed to you.

"About?" you said while taking a spoonful of your soup.

"About you."

You choked on your food, coughing loudly in the process as your throat started to burn. Jeongin patted your back in a soothing way as an attempt to relieve your pain. Sora, on the other hand, was quick to pull out a napkin to clean the small mess you had made.

"What do you mean, me? What did I do?" you asked once you had recovered from choking.

Chan laughed nervously. "She asked me if I'd be interested in tutoring you."

At this, you exploded in laughter, Sora too. You weren't sure on why she was doing so, but you were laughing because you didn't think a tutor was necessary, even less it being Chan.

"What's funny?" he turned to the youngest pair at the table.

Jeongin shrugged. "I mean, do you even have time to tutor? You barely have any time for the guys and I."

"It would be during the class period." You groaned at his words, throwing your head back in frustration. "She said you're going to fail if you keep going like this."

"Come on, Chan. We're barely halfway through the term. I can manage myself."

"Not sure about that. You have halfway left that you can use to actually get better instead of barely passing."

You looked at Sora in search of any help, but she shrugged her shoulders and went back to her conversation with Youngmi.

"I'll think about it..."

"Think about it?" Dahye yelled out making you block your ears for how loud she was being. "Why would you think about it? You've got the hot senior offering personal tutoring sessions and you say no? Are you dumb or are you dumb?"

You sighed loudly and let yourself fall on your bed. "I don't need tutoring, alright?"

"Sure, you don't." she rolled her eyes and went to grab her bag.

"You're going somewhere?" you lifted your head up.

"Yeah, to the coffee shop. Do you want to tag along?"

"I would but I have a shift starting soon."

She waved you goodbye and you were left alone in the room. Taking this as a good time to revise your notes for your upcoming exam while waiting for your shift to start, you pulled out your lecture book and flipped through the pages. Your eyes were reading, but your brain couldn't seem to actually understand what was written. You tried with the next chapter, but the results were the same. Time was passing quickly so you brought the book with you to the convenience store.

When you walked in, Jeongin was already there on his phone, yawning out of boredom. The store was empty so you assumed it was a slow evening. You punched in and joined the boy at the counter. You dropped the manuel in front of you and Jeongin's expression went surprised as he saw the thickness of your book.

"What the hell do you study in this?"

"Sound stuff." you breathed out as you opened it, going back to the chapter you were previously analyzing.

"Isn't it the class that Chan said he could help you with?"

"Precisely." you hummed, not taking your eyes off the page.

He stopped questioning and went back to his game. The shift continued like this, in silence, with a couple of customers coming in once in a while. Still, there was barely anyone so the both of you eventually grew bored of studying and playing. Jeongin brought two stools from the back of the store so you could sit instead of standing up for the remaining two hours you had left.

"Do you have an exam soon?" he asked.

"Just a small quiz that is not worth much. I'd say I'm more worried about the final exam. I don't mind not getting A marks, but from what I read, I don't understand shit. Maybe Chan was right after all..." you admitted shamelessly.

He laughed at your words. "I knew you would say that sooner or later." You gave him a look, which only made him laugh more. "It's okay asking for help. And I swear Chan is a good teacher, he helped me with statistics once."

"I'll see. I might not ask him, though, Have you seen Sora the other day? I could swear she wanted to decapitate me just because Chan said one word to me."

"That's Sora for you. She's just protective of him. I don't talk to her much other than about Youngmi so I can't say how she is really." he shrugged and went to the slushie machine to make himself one.

"Ah, right. Your little crush on Youngmi." you chuckled. "How is that going for you?"

"You'd be surprised. I actually talked with her. She was having a hard time so I comforted her." he said proudly before slurping on his drink.

"I am impressed." you clapped your hands silently. "I bet she needs someone like you around."

The conversation was interrupted when Chan walked in the store, accompanied by Minho. They were seemingly disagreeing on something as Minho was rambling on with incoherent words. He stopped when he noticed that Chan was no longer listening, but was staring right at you instead.

"Hey." he coughed, once he realized he had been looking for a little too long. "I didn't know you work here."

"Yeah, been here since the beginning of school pretty much."

He made an 'o' shape with his mouth as he nodded before walking through the aisles. Minho walked behind him and started his rant again.

"This is a good time to ask him about the tutoring." Jeongin shot at you.

Your eyes widened to him. "Are you crazy? I said I'm not asking him."

"Why? Because you're scared of Sora?" he joked, but your face remained serious. "Oh shit, you are."

"I don't want her to think I'm stealing her man, that's all."

"So you're stealing Chan?"

You huffed. "No, of course not."

"He's not her man, anyway. Plus, he's the one who offered. Just tell him."

"No."

"Yes."

"Jeongin..."

"Tell him."

"Tell who what?"

You jumped at the sudden voice, almost letting out a yell until you noticed the two older men putting their purchases on the counter. Chan's look switched between Jeongin and you, waiting for you to answer.

"Yeah, Y/N. Tell who what?" Jeongin snickered as he leaned back, arms crossed and a proud look on his face.

You sent him a glare, but answered nonetheless. "Ask you about this tutoring thing..." you mumbled barely loud enough to be heard.

From Chan's grin, though, he had clearly heard you perfectly. "So you made up your mind?"

"It's not like I have a choice, really. I've been over the same five pages for hours and still don't understand shit."

While you continued your chat with him, Jeongin scanned their articles and made Minho pay as they were in a discussion of their own. Chan talked about how the tutoring would work, how you didn't have to pay for anything since the teacher was already doing so, how he wasn't going to give you homework other than some tests here and there to make sure you were following along.

"I won't remember all of this tomorrow." you laughed.

Chan immediately reached for his phone and put it in front if you. "Give me your number."

You raised an eyebrow, suspicious. "You're very straightforward."

"No, dummy." he chuckled. "So I can send you the information and plan out a lesson."

"Ah." you cough embarrassingly. "Right."

They left the store after you typed in your phone number in his phone. Unconsciously, Chan was still staring at your contact information, a silly smile that reached his ears on his face.

"Dude." Minho nudged his arm. "It won't disappear on its own." he mocked his friend.

Chan grumbled some curses to him and put back his phone in his pocket. They went back to his place for their usual hangout of the week and Changbin, his roommate, had already prepared a game while waiting for them to come back. At the coffee table, Minho sat next to Sora and Chan went to the dining room to pull out their groceries. Changbin's friend, Chunhwa, had been invited and helped the man to bring the food to everyone.

"Where is Jisung?" Minho asked, taking a sip of the soup Chunhwa had placed in front of him.

"He's probably comforting Hwayoung again." Changbin shrugged as he took the spot next to Chunhwa.

"If he keeps doing this, he'll end up in a deep depression." Sora commented and everyone around agreed.

"You're one to say that." Minho joked as the girl hit him, but Chan didn't get it.

Was she helping out her crush to get over someone too? If so, why didn't she tell him about it? Yes, Chan was that oblivious. Being too busy mothering his younger friends and with school, the least of his worries was romance. He did think of it from time to time, but he's always seen it as something for later.

"Alright, I'm blue this time!" Changbin announced as he picked up a pawn in the said-colour.

"I wanted blue." Chunhwa pouted and the man was quick to give it up for her.

"I'll be green, then." he sighed.

Sora and Chan exchanged knowing looks as the girl picked their usual colours, red and white. They started their game while eating and sharing laughs. Unlike others, the group preferred spending quality time instead of drinking until they blacked out. They would party, of course, but not as often as other college students. As the board game went on, Chan clapped his hands together and turned to talk with Sora.

"I talked with Y/N."

"And?" she said with a frown, moving her pawn on the board.

"She accepted my offer. I told you she would." he grinned.

Her reaction wasn't much what he had expected from his friend. Instead of joy, she looked sad, hurt almost.

"That's great." she forced a smile.

"Yeah, I'll text her the details later. It'll probably be once or twice a week. Depends on her level, honestly."

"Right." she nodded slowly her head. "Sorry, I have a headache. Minho, do you mind helping me get some medecine?"

Minho stood up immediately, reaching a hand to help her get up. "No, of course."

Chan frowned. "Are you alright? I can help if you want and-"

"No." she interrupted. "I'm okay, really. Thanks." she gave him that same sad smile before Minho led her out of the room.

Silence remained while it was Chunhwa's turn to play. She and Changbin were giving each other looks, something Chan couldn't exactly make out. Seeing that they were in their own world and that they had to wait for Sora to be back to continue on with their game, Chan took his phone out as he grew bored. The moment he opened it, your contact information was displayed on his screen, once again. For some reason, he instinctively clicked to open the message app.

Chan: Hey, it's Chan! I hope you gave me the right number, haha.

Y/N: Hey! Yeah it's me, haha. I didn't expect you to reach out so soon.

Chan: Me neither, to be honest. I thought about our arrangement and it can be twice a week if you'd like that instead of just during class period.

Y/N: Hmm, I'll have to check my schedule but yeah, it should be fine.

Chan: Great! I won't bother you for much longer now.

Y/N: You're not bothering, I swear. :)

Chan: Good. :) I'll let you know when we can start.

Y/N: All good. Good night!

Chan: Night. :)

"I'll go home, if you don't mind." Sora announced as she entered the room, Minho following behind.

"This early?" Chan said, putting his phone away.

"Sorry, I don't feel so well." she smiled, guilt seen on her face.

Chan stood up and joined her at the front door. "Let me walk you to your dorm, at least."

She shook her head. "Minho's coming with me already. Thank you."

"Alright." he said unsurely, hugging her tight. "Let me know if you need anything."

"Always. Good night Chan. Bye, guys!" she waved at the remaining pair before her and Minho took off.

Chan was still frowning at her weird behaviour, but he shrugged it off. Maybe she had a bad day. The weirdest part was how she stuck to Minho since they never were this close with each other. It might have changed without his knowledge. He went to help Changbin out with cleaning up and wash the dishes, Chunhwa tagging along.

"Do you mind if she stays the night?" Changbin asked.

"No, it's alright." Chan replied as he gathered his things to head to bed.

Locking himself in his room, he let out a long sigh before snuggling himself under his covers. Opening his phone, he saw your name lit up. He smiled immediately.

Y/N: Can't sleep. I thought this meme would make you smile when you wake up.

As the lessons kept going, you grew fond of Chan. He was nothing but respectful to you and was treating you like a princess, almost. He would always bring snacks, take breaks after some time to make sure you are not too tired, and he was insanely funny. He had started to be more attentive to your needs recently, and you could not help but hope he might like you as much as you liked him. But this was not possible, right?

You scrunched your nose as you listened to Chan explaining the material for a third time. You were amazed at how patient he had been with you. Your eighth lesson together and, yet, you still had no clue about anything in this course. Frankly speaking, you wanted to drop out, but Chan had insisted you continue with some speech about determination and shit. The coffee shop his friend, Seungmin, worked at was a cozy spot for your sessions. However, you had learnt Dahye's crush was the barista and she would almost always be there, trying to get his attention. It was close to sad to watch.

"I'm sorry, I really don't get it." you grunted, rubbing your face with your hands.

"Hey, it's fine. I know it can be hard to comprehend properly." he tried to reassure you while patting your back.

"You don't get it. If I want to make my own music, I should be able to understand, right? I suck." you grunted dramatically.

"Woah, there. How about I show you some concrete examples instead? I think it'd be easier for you." he suggested but you were still confused.

"Examples? We have the teacher's already."

"Yeah, uh, I could make you listen some of my tracks." he laughed out shyly.

"Your own tracks?" you exclaimed in surprised, eyes wide open. "Well, thinking about it, it makes sense you make your own music. Still, I didn't know."

"Yeah, I don't go around telling people." he added, blushing again. "I could show you right now, actually. Do you have something planned after this?"

You opened your agenda and scanned through your schedule. Your empty schedule. "No, the rest of my day is clear."

"Can I invite you over? My music stuff is in my room."

While the idea seemed appealing, you weren't convinced it was safe. Chan was a handsome man, and although you had grown closer with him, he could still be a fuckboy for all you know. The main reason, though, was that Sora would probably hear about it and you didn't want to hurt the girl by going over to her friend's apartment. Still, it was in the context of a class you were very much failing. At this point, you would take anything if it meant it would make you pass.

"Okay."

His own dorm wasn't far from yours. The walk to there was quick and you were standing in his kitchen before you knew it. It was neat for a boys apartment. Some exercise machines were installed, unsurprisingly since him and Changbin were visibly working out. There were a few takeout bags on the table as they would rarely cook themselves, but otherwise, it was one of the cleanest places you had seen.

"Do you want something to drink?" he asked, opening his refrigerator to serve himself a glass of water.

"Not for now, thanks." you smiled.

Chan led you to his room that was as clean as the rest of the dorm. He had made himself a work space for his music. On his desk, there were two monitors standing with a mixing console. He had placed a piano keyboard in the corner and a few different headphones were laying around the table. Right next to the desk was a microphone along with its isolation shield. He had a very good setup, you were almost jealous of it.

"This is amazing." you breathed out. "This stuff is brand new!"

"I saved a lot for it." he said, sitting down on his chair. He pulled his other one towards you. "Sit down, I wanna show you something."

You did as told and he started to look into his files, scrolling through them attentively. He spotted one and clicked on it. He waited a moment before playing it to give you time to put his headphones on. Once he started it, the track's intro started out beautifully. It had a soft melody, but it slowly turned into a more upbeat sound. The beat build up, until it dropped and you would lie if you said you didn't feel goosebumps at that moment. When it ended, you took the headphones off and stared at him in shock.

"You've got some freaking talent. I'm speechless, really."

"Thank you." he mumbled and blushed. "I'll play it again and I want you to pay attention to the different notes and sounds. Cover one ear only, I'll explain as it plays. Listen carefully."

Replaying it, he pointed out sounds and paused to explain. He did this for the next 40 minutes or so and, surprisingly enough, you had finally understood the material. It shocked you how easily you got it only from a few tracks made by Chan himself. His talent was undeniable and, if anything, it only made him more attractive to you.

"What is this one?" you said as you moved the cursor to a specific file.

"No not this-" Too late, you had already started to play it on his speakers. "... one." he finished his sentence in a whisper.

The ballad was powerful, and his lyrics were more relatable than you'd like them to be. So far, he had put only instrumental tracks. Needless to say you were dumbfounded by his voice. You were deep into the song, until Chan took the mouse from you and paused it.

"Hey!" you pouted.

"It's a pretty personal one." he justified, avoiding your eyes.

"Yeah, the lyrics are rough. I think it's beautiful. Sorry that I listened to it when you didn't want me to." you apologized sincerely.

"You think it's beautiful? I think it's a bit much."

"Not at all!" you argued. "I love it, really."

"Thank you."

An awkward silence filled the room, small tension building up. To wash it away, Chan clicked on a new file. It was a ballad, but it was much softer this time. He stood up from his chair and extended a hand to you. You looked at it suspisciously.

"What?"

"May I have this dance?" he said in a funny tone.

"Cringe." you huffed.

"Come on, you deserve a little break."

"And I dance like shit." you deadpanned at him.

"Do you trust me?"

You found it ridiculous, and cheesy. Without protesting, you still took his hand and he held you by the waist, swaying from side to side. You were uneasy at first, but grew more comfortable as he continued to guide your moves along the music. At some point, you hadn't realized how close your bodies were getting until you could feel his fast heartbeat with your head against his chest. You looked up at him and he already had his eyes on you. While this felt wrong, it was a feeling of safety. Before you could speak, the music changed to another one of his tracks, a more funny beat this time. You detached yourself from him and tried to find something to say quickly to ignore the moment you just shared.

"You make a lot of different genres." was all you could find to say.

It seemed to work as Chan started to tell you about his experimenting to find what style he liked better and which one fitted him the best. Eventually, the conversation drifted to a casual talk, learning more about each other. After listening to more of his songs, he had offered you to stay for dinner, but you refused. He had already made you go through a rollercoaster of emotions, you didn't know what was going to happen if you stayed any longer.

"You have everything?" he asked as he led you to his front door.

"Yeah, I think so. Thank you for today, it feels great to finally understand this stupid class."

He laughed before bring you into a hug. "Good. Tell me how the exam goes?"

"Of course."

When you were about to turn the doorknob, the door opened on its own. There she was, Sora, standing in the entrance with her eyes locked on you. You immediately felt like you got caught in the middle of a crime, although you had done nothing.

"Y/N." she said in a warm tone, making you feel bad how sweet she was still to you even though you knew how it must hurt her to see you with Chan.

"Hi, Sora. I was just leaving." You turned to Chan to give him one last smile. "See you, Chan!"

You didn't let him answer and left the place immediately. You were grateful for his help with the class. But now, you were stuck with guilt, longing, and a crush on a man who was already taken by a wonderful girl. You were fucked.

Ding.

"Anyway, so I came home and-"

Ding.

"For fuck's sake, Y/N. Just answer him." Jeongin whined.

"No." you said firmly. "So, as I was saying, I had just gotten home and-"

Ding.

You shut your eyes at the annoying notification sound. You had stopped your lessons with him unexpectedly when you realized you could be ruining a lifelong friendship. Plus, it would surprise you if he reciprocated even a tiny bit of your feelings. You told him you didn't need his help anymore and that you would rather focus on your other classes for now. He was understanding, of course, but you had stopped replying to his daily memes. He asked you if something was wrong, but you didn't answer. You had skipped the next sound art class to avoid him and had not left your room much since.

"Answer him." Jeongin whined again, louder this time.

"No!"

"He's my friend too, you know? I can just tell him how you're scared of your feelings." he threatened.

"You wouldn't."

"Watch me." he challenged you.

Ding.

You groaned and checked your phone and saw that, this time, it was a reminder that your shift was ending earlier for you to go do your exam. "I need to go. Cover for me?"

"Yeah, yeah." Jeongin rolled his eyes.

"And you better not talk to Chan."

"No promise." he grinned and you sent him a glare before taking off to head to class.

You bumped into a depressed looking Jisung when you walked in. He greeted you poorly, eyebags under his eyes and lazy movement. You would have asked if he was okay if it wasn't your final exam. Having studied like never before (and thanks to Chan's help, but we do not mention him at the moment), you felt quite ready, though your stress level was at its peak.

The questionnaire was filled with practice exercices and multiple choices. The teacher played sounds through the speakers for you to identify and describe them. You were baffled at how good you were doing, so good that you were among the first people to finish. Jisung was done not so long after you, so you walked out together, telling each other how you did on the exam.

"By the way, I wanted to make sure you are doing okay. You don't look so good to me, no offense."

He looked at his feet. "Yeah, I'm alright. Just..." He hesitated a little since you weren't close to him much, but at this point he didn't care. "Hwayoung and I fought and there is Chan's party tonight. I know she's going but I'm not sure if I want to face her yet."

"You should go."

His face lit up at your words. "You think so?"

"Yeah, I do. You two are practically inseparable from what I see. I think it'll be a shame to not try to fix things up."

"You have a point..." he said and thought for a second. "Alright, I'll go. Are you coming, too?"

While his situation was very different from yours, it did have some similarities. You had briefly seen a message from Chan, inviting you to his party, but you didn't want to face him. Dahye had begged you to come, saying she would want at least a friend around since Byeol would most likely not be going. So when you thought about it for a moment, it might be a good moment for you to talk things out with Chan.

"I guess I can stop by."

When you arrived home, Dahye was nowhere to be seen. You noticed a note on your desk and she wrote that she went to Seungmin's to get prepared. Looks like you were going to get ready alone. Rummaging through your clothes, you picked out a nice short-sleeved shirt with a skirt to match with it. You didn't put on much makeup, nor did you do anything extravagant with your hair.

Jeongin: Dude, Jisung told me you are coming tonight?

Y/N: Yes, sir.

Jeongin: Youngmi is going and I was planning to confess. I need your emotional support.

Y/N: If you'll be my emotional support to talk with Chan, then yes I'll help you.

Jeongin: Deal! But for real, Jisung convinces you to come in two seconds and not me? Offended...

You could only laugh at the texts. You grabbed your belongings and walked out of your dorm, heading to Chan's. After a small ten-minute walk, you were standing in front of his door, nervous. You had not even thought of letting him know you were coming, you just showed up. Anyhow, you knocked on the door and waited for someone to let you in. Some time after, Changbin happily welcomed you in, showing you where the snacks, the drinks and the bathroom were. After thanking him for his kindness, you parted ways with him to join Jeongin. To your surprise, he was already talking with Youngmi and they seemed to be doing just fine. Jisung was there too, but he kept looking at his phone every once in a while, seemingly waiting for a text.

"Am I late?" you asked and Jisung shook his head.

"We pretty much all came in advance. Minho, Hyunjin, Byeol, Hyunjoo and Felix are missing." he shrugged and took a sip of his drink.

The room was already filled with some people from your classes, and others you had never seen before. You scanned the room as you tried to spot Chan, but your eyes stopped on Sora instead. She was setting the food on the table alone, so you decided to go see her, trying to make your way through the crowd. Once you reached her, you realized she wasn't alone. Chan was giggling with her about something as he was setting bowls of chips on the table. It took them a few seconds to notice you and greet you sweetly.

"HI! Y/N, um, wow. You made it! I mean, I didn't expect you to be here. I should, uh-" Chan rambled on cutely.

He was interrupted when Sora kicked his rib with her elbow before smiling at you. "Good to see you."

"You too. I hope I'm not interrupting."

"Of course not!" they both hurried to deny.

"I should go greet the others. Talk to you later?" Chan set his eyes on you, and left.

You were now alone with Sora as she went on with preparing the snacks. You offered to help, but she didn't let you. You weren't sure what to say exactly which caused a small silence to grow. Luckily, she was more talkative than you were.

"I really didn't expect you here. Chan had kind of given up after you ignored him."

Her words hurt you more than you'd ever admit, but she was right. "It wasn't intentional. I mean, I did purposely ignore him but I had reasons."

She shook her head to shush you. "I'm not asking you to tell me why, you must have had good reasons. I just..." she trailed off before taking a deep breath. "He told me about how you almost kissed and I'm just letting you know that Chan is not someone to play around with. I don't know why he likes you so much while barely noticing me, but I'm warning you. You don't know him like I do and I know Chan is going to prioritize who he loves first. I don't want this thing going on with you two to be hurting anyone."

Frankly, you did not know how to answer. You were lost on why she was telling you all of this. You only registered the parts where she said he liked you, that she liked him, and that she didn't want things to be hurting anyone.

"I came here to fix things with him." you said after thinking of your words. "I don't know the history between you two, and visibly you are closer than anyone here. If I hurt you in any way, I'm so sorry. I just wanted to pass my class, that's it."

"No, I-"

"It's okay, Sora. You two clearly have something going on. I know for a fact Chan doesn't like me like that and he's way better off with you."

You didn't even let her speak again, and left the party immediately. You felt your mind getting fuzzier and you couldn't think straight about this whole situation, you just wanted out. Among the pack of people, you kept on bumping into one person to another, apologizing constantly. You ended up bumping into Chan, to your luck. You didn't want to talk with him anymore, so you hurried to walk out, but he was quick to recognize you and stop you by grabbing you by the arm.

"You're leaving already?" he asked worriedly.

"I'm not in the mood for a party that much." you made an excuse up on the spot.

"Do you want me to walk you home?"

"Gosh, Chan. Stop acting like you care so much." you snapped at him, which made him let go of your arm. "Sora's waiting for you in the kitchen if you are wondering."

On that note, you left him standing alone, baffled and confused, and you head back home as tears built up in your eyes.

Dahye had invited you and Byeol for a little trip to the beach not even two days after the end of the semester. Before going back home for the summer and to avoid any possible interaction with Chan, you had gladly accepted. You were going to stay there for a couple of days only, but long enough to be enjoying the nice weather and the water.

While you were laying on the sand to enjoy the natural light, Byeol pulled out her phone to show you her messages with her boyfriend, Hyunjin. He was being a dramatic lover, telling her to not stay out in the sun for too long, to eat properly and to send him lots of pictures because he missed her. You were more than happy for her, but your heart stung. Chan had tried to reach out, obviously. This time, you had the courage to mute his contact and completely ignore him. You didn't have the strength to block him just yet. Maybe you were still hoping for something to happen with him.

"He said he'll paint the pictures of the sea that I sent him." Byeol commented, all smiley, as she put her phone away.

"That's adorable." Dahye said in a dreamy tone. "Although I would probably cringe if Seungmin pulled one like this on me."

The girls exchanged laughs and continued to chitchat about their romantic moments. Your mind wasn't fully there and you had issues concentrating properly. Eventually, the girls noticed and called your name to snap you out of your thoughts.

"Is it about Chan?" Dahye dared to ask, and Byeol gave her a look.

"Kind of? I should stop thinking about it. He's got Sora so everything is fine." you forced a smiled, but it didn't convince your friends.

"You should have talked to him. He fought with her that night." Dahye said, putting her hand on your shoulder. "And he thought of knocking at our dorm, but he chickened out."

You looked at her blankly and blinked slowly. "You didn't tell me this."

"It's not my place to do so. I'm sure he tried to tell you, but you've been quite ignorant towards him." she shrugged and from seeing your reaction, she knew she had to do something about it. "Look, just enjoy our time here for now and worry about this later, okay? Chan can wait a couple of days."

You nodded, agreeing that you were here to relax and enjoy, and not to fall into self-pity for the rest of your summer. Decisively, you repositioned yourself comfortably on your towel and did nothing but let yourself go with the sea breeze.

That night, Byeol and Dahye went to some fancy restaurant together close to the hotel you were staying at. You would have come too, but you wanted to go explore the neighbourhood instead. So after they left, you brought your camera with you to take some pictures around. It came to your mind that you could develop them and make a nice framed collage to hang in your room as a memory. With everything in your bag, you left the hotel and started your evening with walking in a park nearby. The trees were decorated with lights as well as the path. You snapped some photos, but upon seeing so many couples, you decided to change scenery.

A couple of streets away was an old-fashioned part of the town. There were many local shops opened and you took the time to stop at some of them, notably a small bakery. The woman was so sweet that she gifted you some cupcakes, not forgetting to compliment you on how beautiful she thought you were. Thanking her, you took the cupcakes from her and walked out of the store.

"She's not wrong, you know?"

You froze at the voice, sounding too much like a man you had grown to love over the past months. Uncertain if it was your mind tricking you, you turned around to come face to face with the one and only Chan. There he was in one of his many black attires and he had seemingly just stepped out of the bakery as well.

"If I didn't know you, I'd say you're stalking me." you joked once you had collected yourself.

"I would never." he huffed. "But I did ask some help from Dahye to have some time with you."

It was your turn to scoff. "You're unbelievable."

"I know, babygirl." he smirked and you would have punched in the air right then from how the butterflies he sent you made you internally squeal. "Mind if I take this stroll with you?"

"I do mind." you refused while you were actually dying to go on a romantic walk with him.

"I thought you trusted me enough." he acted offended and you let out a laugh, still not believing he was right in front of you. "Do you?"

"Do I what?"

"Trust me?"

Lacking a response, you stuttered out incoherent words. Wanting to hide from embarrassment, you shut your eyes and turned on your wheels to go on with your walk. Chan was, however, determined to not let you get away again, so he ran to catch up on you.

"So..." he started, but you were still refusing to glance at him. "I think we should talk."

"How's Sora?" you asked nonchalantly.

"Y/N, can you not bring her up for once? She told me what you two talked about at the party. Wasn't she clear enough when she said I like you?"

Stopping on your tracks, you finally dared to look at him and you regretted it immediately. His eyes reflected nothing but despair, sadness and lust.

"She was trying to-" you started but he cut you off quickly.

"Everything she said was true. Except for the part that we would hurt each other." he took your hand in his and you wanted so bad to squeeze it back, but you couldn't find the strength to do so. "The first time I read your lyrics, I knew you would become someone dear to me. You're as passionate about music as I am, you are easy to talk to, although I would debate on that with how you had ghosted me. I guess what I'm trying to say is I don't want you to push me away anymore, because I like you a lot."

"What about So-"

He laughed as to to interrupt you again. You were stubborn, for sure. "She's been involved with Minho for some time, she's got nothing to do with all of this."

He hesiated, but took a step forward to put his hand on your cheek. You had never seen him blush so hard and it was one heck of a cute sight. He brought your face closer and you leaned into his touch, foreheads now grazing against each other.

"I'm sorry." you finally spoke in a soft tone.

"Don't be sorry, just don't run away again."

"I won't."

That's all Chan wanted to hear. After containing himself since the moment he saw you in the bakery, he gave in and kissed you passionately. It had so much emotion and feelings into it. You could feel his sincerity only through his touch and it was enough for you to cry, but out of joy this time. He rubbed his thumb on your cheek to dry your tears off and pulled you closer to him. The scene could not have been more perfect. You were kissing your goddamn crush in the middle of a cute lively neighbourhood in the evening with the smell of cupcakes surrounding you. You eventually detached from each other, but still remained close.

"I assume this means you like me too?" Chan chuckled.

"Very much so, yes." you smiled.

"Can I take you out on a date?" he asked shyly and you sent him a smirk.

"This stroll you wanted earlier can be it."

He smiled like a child at your words and laid a kiss on the top of your head. "Sounds good to me."

#stray kids #stray kids x reader #stray kids series #stray kids scenarios #stray kids college au #stray kids bang chan #bang chan x reader #stray kids fanfic #stray kids fluff #bang chan scenarios #bang chan fanfic #bang chan fluff #bang chan college au #stray kids your eyes

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misslovasstuff · 1 year

Text

Dazai x reader

Prove it

“Her? Mhm, well….”- Dazai itches his head, shifting his gaze to the floor. - She is nice. Yeah, nice.”

Atsushi and Kunikida raise their eyebrows as the bandaged brunette seemed to avoid a simple question:

Do you like Y/n?

“I mean, we don’t doubt her niceness, what we’re asking is if you fancy her by any chance?”- Oh, Kunikida was enjoying too much what seemed to have turned into a silly interrogation. He fixes his glasses with a smirk, leaning over Dazai’s shoulder:

“She’s totally your type, isn’t she?”

Dazai sighs, shaking his head with a vague smile.

“Just because Kunikida-kun doesn’t have an interesting love life it doesn’t mean you have to start investigating mine.”- he claims with a silly voice, once again provoking his colleagues’ nerves as Atsushi could have sworn he heard Kunikida’s glasses break as he grabs Dazai by the collar of his shirt, whispering all sort of funny insults, to which Dazai is completely immune by now.

“Kunikida-san, perhaps Dazai-san is not comfortable talking about his relationship with Y/n. Perhaps it is better to leave him be haha.”- Atsushi claims with a weak smile, trying to calm the chaotic situation.

Dazai sighs, rubbing his temple then explains:

“Look, to extinguish your curiosity, there is absolutely nothing going on between me and her. Are you blind to fail to see that she has no interest whatsoever in me? Plus, I’ve heard from Yosano she’s seeing someone already so…”

Kunikida widens his eyes to a rare sight; Dazai sighing and looking out the window as if the most beautiful tragedy had happened to him. The kind of misfortune that makes people write poems, listen to music and take long walks by themselves. The tragedy of loving someone you can’t ever have that makes you fragile but yet unbreakable, strong but weak in the heart and it gives you a slap back to a reality that you don’t want to accept. It hadn’t occurred to Dazai before, thus he wonders what this feeling is about and if he can do anything about it.

“Have you ever been rejected by a woman before?”- Atsushi asks, after which he hits himself mentally for asking such a question.

“No. - Dazai answers frankly, to which Kunikida scoffs.

“Well, at least Y/n will ground you a bit.”- he claims, putting his hands in his pockets. - How does it feel to love someone you can’t have?”

“Terrible.”- Dazai says, seemingly not sad, nor happy, he had a rather empty expression on his face, not letting out much emotion to understand what was really going on inside his head. - I see her, and I am struck by her beauty. God, when her eyes meet mine, each and every motioning becomes more intense for my heart. When she greets me and smiles at me so genuinely and gently like she knows how much that smile affects me, making even the sun jealous of her radiance and cheerfulness. Don’t let me get into how talented she is, and her cooking skills, oh and also did you know that she reads poetry? She gave me her favourite book and underlined all verses she found beautiful and meaningful. On page 63, poem two, she had underlined two verses which were:

“I may not know your heart, but it knows me quite well. Am I resident or a foreigner to it?”

And she had written a smiley face on the corner of it, with a little note that said: “Mhm, Dazai?”

Not only that, but she is such a great-

Dazai kept blabbering about how fascinated he was by you while both Kunikida and Atsushi listened and came to a very unbelievable conclusion.

Dazai is so oblivious when he truly falls in love. Either that, or he’s trying to avoid that but still digs the idea of being in love and being loved so beautifully.

“I’m afraid to tell you this buddy but, - Kunikida touches Dazai’s shoulder. - You’re an idiot.”

Atsushi scoffs as he turns around to contain his laughter. Dazai’s face freezes with a smile like 😀

“Homegirl knows you like her, she literally wrote it down, what’s wrong with you?”- Kunikida snaps at Dazai, who now seems to be confused.

Little did they know that you were listening to all this go down, hardly containing your laughter.

The truth is, you and Dazai had been together for a while and no one is the agency knows. You told Yosano you were seeing someone, but funnily enough, even though they’re detectives, they don’t have a clue about your relationship, and you’re thinking is because your lover messes with their heads.

“Kunikida-kun, stop tormenting me! I’m telling you, she doesn’t like me. End of discussion.”- Dazai claims, getting up from his seat and stretching a bit.

“Where do you think you’re going?”- Kunikida asks as he watches Dazai’s tender figure walk away.

“To think about this unbearable pain of my weak heart, since my friends and colleagues don’t care.”

Atsushi holds back Kunikida from going after Dazai:

“He’ll never admit it that he likes her.”- Atsushi claims which gives Kunikida a rather sinister idea.

“Oh he will, I have a plan.”

There is a sudden change of atmosphere which leaves Atsushi a bit scared.

“Kunikida-san, w-what exactly are you planning to do?”- he asks, noticing a smirk from his mentor.

A little bit later/ Coffee shop

You are taking a sip of your hot coffee as rain hits the window by your seat. Although it is raining, you were feeling rather warm, and even though you were by yourself, you were fully enjoying your own company until the door of the cafe opens.

“I’ll take a black coffee, please.”- a unfamiliar voice says, which gets your attention. You turn your head and notice a tall man, build figure and blonde hair. He turns and faces you while waiting for his coffee.

“You don’t mind if I sit next to you while I wait for my coffee, yes?”- he asks with a beautiful smile, blue eyes shining right through.

“Mhm, sure it’s okay.”- you reply, mirroring a smile and scanning the man upfront.

The probability of a very handsome person, coming to this coffee shop while I’m the only one here and all the seats are empty, asking to sit next to me, and furthermore-

“So, what is such a beautiful lady doing here all by herself?”- he asks, looking at your hands holding the coffee cup, then looking directly at your eyes which made you gulp hardly.

“Drinking coffee.”- you reply rather coldly, not warning to give this guy the wrong impression.

“By yourself? Have you no one to accompany you? Maybe a boyfriend of yours?”- he continues to bring up weird questions. What was even weirder, was the fact that he was reaching for your hand, now holding it.

“Since you’re not answering, I’m assuming you do not have a man in your life. Such a catastrophe indeed. - he brings your hand close to his lips, caressing it. - I can offer myself as a candidate.”

“She’s not running any elections. - a sudden voice from behind makes your heart drop. - if that were the case, I would have known.”

You glance over your shoulder and see Dazai. He reached for your hand, shooing away the other guy’s who immediately flinches to the touch.

“Is it a habit of yours to approach lonely women in coffee shops? That’s kinda desperate and disrespectful.”- he continues, glaring at the guy who had widened his eyes.

“I’m just waiting for my coffee.”

“Wait for your coffee somewhere else. - Dazai claims with a cold tone of voice, making you shiver in what you would describe fear, but with a hint of pleasure.

He was so hot right now, for real.

“She didn’t tell me she had a boyfriend.”- the guy claims as he gets up from his seat.

“She doesn’t need to inform you about anything, really. Plus, I’m never too far away. - Dazai winks at you, getting your cheeks all heated up.

Now, - Dazai smiles, - get out of my sight.”

The guy gets out of the coffee shop, forgetting about his order which was now being served in your table.

“I’ll take that, thank you.”- Dazai claims, sitting down in front of you, not noticing the looks you were giving him.

That is, until he takes a sip and his eyes meet yours.

“Mhm? - he hums. - what’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong is the fantasy im having to have you right here, right now.”

“Woah woah, belladonna~, - Dazai almost spits his coffee. - What has gotten into you? I mean, I’m not complaining but-

“Dazai, do me right now, I swear I’m barely hanging on.” - you explain as Dazai notices your flushed cheeks and heavy breathing.

Damn, what happened? - he wonders.

He smirks and leans in, whispering: “But the coffee will go cold, love. Are you sure?”

“Don’t start teasing me. - you claim. - or would you rather have me do you at the agency while everyone watches so they can finally know that you are mine?”

“That’s … interesting. You’re so hasty, belladonna. Did I do something to turn you on this much?”- Dazai asks, biting his lip as he looks at you up and down with those gorgeous eyes of his that consumed your entire soul with one single glance.

“The moment right now, you being possessive and all, gosh. That was so hot of you.”- you lean in, exposing a bit of your chest to your boyfriend, on purpose obviously, to which Dazai responds by raising his eyebrows and staring at it for a bit.

“Oh really? You know what else I can heat up?”

“No I don’t know, enlighten me.”- you two lean even closer to one another, as Dazai is ready to whisper in your ear:

“That little -

“ALRIGHT THAT IS ENOUGH, point proven Atsushi let’s go!”- you hear Kunikida shouting from behind. They were not only seeing all this go down, but also orchestrated the whole thing.

“So you guys are together, awwww.”- Atsushi says, giving a weirdly firm handshake to you and Dazai. - Congrats, omg. Dazai-san that was so manly of you, Kunikida-san didn’t predict you’d actually go wild like that-

“Kunikida planned this?”- you ask, giving a disappointing nod.

“A perfect executed plan, and Dazai fell right into it. Now, you’ll stop lying and admit that you love this woman.” - Kunikida claims with a smirk, thinking that his partner would still pretend to be in denial.

“I love Y/n.”- he claims, still sipping his tea and acting unaffected by this whole scene, although in truth he was a bit conflicted on how to feel about it.

Upon his declaration of love, you melt, of course.

You caress his hand, to which Dazai smiles, starting to gesture you weirdly.

He means to get out of here. Now you had heated him up.

You nod, looking at Atsushi and Kunikida who are still looking at you both.

“Oookaaayy, - you get up, Dazai following you. - Since you put us into so much trouble, I guess you can pay for our coffee, no?”

As you walk towards the exit, holding hands, Kunikida’s shoutings accompany you:

“If anything I helped you! You owe me one, Dazai!”

You close the door behind you, giving a small sigh.

“You’re so troublesome you know that?”- you poke his nose, so which he responds by pulling you closer by your waist.

“I put you into so much trouble, huh? You’re the one making me go crazy over and over again.”- Dazai answers as you pull him by the belt of his pants.

Remind me, where were we?”- you ask and he smirks grabbing your hand, leading him to somewhere.

“I’ll remind you shortly.”

#bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs dazai #bsd dazai #bungou sd #dazai osamu #dazai #dazai x reader #dazai imagines #bsd anime #bungo stray dogs #dazai bsd #dazai x you

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bybdolan · 11 days

Text

quick ttpd thoughts

ok so. i did listen to a leak so I had time to sit with the OG album for a while. I have not yet listened to all the Anthology tracks, but this not-doing of something is part of my album reaction. Bear with me.

First of all: I am insanely impressed with Taylor for being this raw and messy on record. More distinguished haters have said that this album once again feels like self-mythologizing, but I personally do not agree. User dancefloors had an excellent take on this: the album is emotional and messy to a degree where you feel like you should not be listening to it. At least that's how I felt.

However, that also has a downside. I find many of the lyrics, especially on the standard edition, to be unpolished or downright cringe. This rambl-y first draft type of writing might work for other artists, but I never feel like it works for Taylor. The second line of Fortnight is so awful that I was CONVINCED the leak I heard was AI, and people have talked at length about the tattooed Golden Retriever. Girl. Almost every song had an insane clunker or two hidden in it. This is not helped by what I personally (!) perceive to be a bit of a rehashing of imagery and themes that have been prominent in songwriting trends for the past few years. Killing the woman you are jealous of, Cassandra, religious imagery .... Don't get me wrong, I think the call for "originality" at al costs can be detrimental to art, but frequently with this album i felt as if lines were haparzadly chosen to fit a certain "aesthetic" that didn't mesh well with the rest of the song. Like. Nothing about "my husband's cheating. I wanna kill him." communicates any deeper emotion. (Compared to e.g. Samia's "I hope you marry the girl from your hometown and I'll fucking kill her and I'll fucking freak out.")

The introductory poem is one of the worst things i have ever read.

The thing is. I don't always do well with new releases, they are overwhelming, etc., but I listened to the first four tracks and was like "how can anybody think this is good". Which IS a hater take, and there is much I do enjoy about the album, and I am happy others like it.But with the already present repetition PLUS 15 Tracks .... it is a bit too much. I could go on and on about the repetition of words and themes that feels a bit trite (smalltown stuff, "starry-eyed", "precocious"), but I don't wanna. I wish there had been more editing, and I think I have talked at length before about how I do not like this new era of just putting out everything.

Alas. I did not click with this album and there are very few tracks i want to go back to. So Long, London is a favorite because of the concise lyrics and beautiful production, I can bop to Down Bad, but daddy I love him is fun imagery-wise, Clara/Sam/Sophia/Marcus is sad and also. A Lot., So High School, and I dig "You're not Dylan Thomas, I'm not Patti Smith, this ain't the Chelsea Hotel, we're modern idiots". The 2am tracks need more attention, but I already like Looking Into Windows (?) much more than a lot of other tracks - generally, I enjoy the more genuinely sad Joe tracks about the slow demise of a relationship much more than the fast paced high strung ones.

anything else .... well. I don't know.

#spoiler: i did not like this #i had so many thoughts in my head but they are gone

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prince-liest · 16 days

Note

I am literally checking your blog daily how the backflipping DUCK did I miss the recent snippet!?!?

It is genius. Bestest thing in the entire universe. I am filled with admiration for your skills. If I were home, I would be screaming into a pillow.

Just how do you make snippets this good?!?? Hahah♡ /pos

Backflipping duck got me, HAHA, thank you for that. Honestly, this entire chapter has been sitting solidly in "there's a lot of emotional fallout here from the previous installments of this series, and it is making me very paranoid about pulling both of them out of character," so I'm really glad people are enjoying the bits of WIP that I've been posting! Now that I've made it through a night out followed by an all-day party, I can sit, relax, and edit the shit out of it prior to posting so that I feel solid about it, hahaha. Anyway, thank you so much! <3 These kind messages have been fueling me amidst all the chaos, ehehe.

More replies specifically on the snippet under the cut! <3

okay I'm DYING over that snippet, alastor is going through a crisis not feeling comfortable with what they've been doing any longer and trying to figure out how to express that and one of the first things vox says when he breaches the topic is "I'm gonna dress up valentino as you and fantasize about fucking you anyway" like buddy!! all horny no brain asdfg they're both killing me omg - ✨

Vox was allowed like two seconds of healthy, genuine communication prior to the snippet I posted before I was like, "Hm, one sec, gotta remind everyone who he is," hahaha. He was, to be fair, mostly trying to be glib in that moment in a way that just didn't land.

Vox says "well it doesn't have to be literally you if you don't want" and Alastor hears "I've objectified the idea of you to such an extent that I'm going to go to such length to still realize my desire to fuck you" and oof.

Hi, anon who loves your writing snippets here 👋 Reaction summarized: “The Emotions They destroyed their cage Yes YES The Emotions are out” In other words: I am ready to be utterly obliterated. Hit me with the emotional weightlifting these two idiots are about to do. I’m rubbing my hands vigorously like a little creacher, a raccoon or common housefly, perhaps. On another note, so happy you’re getting off to a good start in your residency! As someone who’s been below the poverty line for most of their life, I know how thrilling it can be to look at future housing prospects. There’s nothing I love more than decorating a new space to make it feel like home :). I hope for the best for you these upcoming months!

Ehehehe, what a GREAT use of that poem. >:D The emotions really have finallly destroyed their cage. Time to face the music!!

And ahhh, thank you! Yeah, I've moved around a lot throughout my life (including switching houses weekly between my parents most of my life) and I feel like one of the ways I adapted to it was just being very gung-ho about decorating and home-ifying a place I'm staying, so I'm so excited to finally have a space that is All Mine To Do With As I Please without being concerned about roommates, etc, etc. And it won't be permanent, but I'll be there three years, and that's a decently long time!!

#ask #personal #aska234 #sparkle anon #anonymous #thank you guys all! :D <3 #was lovely to look through these between busy moments the past day and a half or so #hazbin hotel #(also to be clear I enjoyed myself immensely it was just A Lot esp as one of two primary organizers)#t

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rainisawriter · 8 months

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I saw your requests are open and I have a request for murayama🐥 If Murayama's girlfriend prefers her love language to him by writing poetry for him and giving small gifts (like a simple drawing,painted stone,necklace and etc.) A girlfriend who is a little afraid of contact in a relationship What would he be like in this relationship? What would he think of this love language Headcanon or oneshot is not important to me, can you write something about it＼ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ／

Genre: Fluff, slice of life

Word Count: 2,461

A/N: Let me just say that this is the best banner I’ve made in a while lol I really like it. Also, I realized halfway through this request that you wanted them to be dating already but I was in too deep to fix it T_T)/ I hope you don’t mind and I hope you still enjoy this~

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The first time you met Murayama Yoshiki, you knew that he would become an important person in your life. Maybe you didn’t realize that he would become the love of your life, but you knew he would be important. There was just something about him that drew you in, like a fish unable to escape a whirlpool. Though, part of you wasn’t so sure you wanted to escape.

In the beginning, you weren’t sure how to get his attention but you knew you wanted it. You couldn’t just come out and say that you thought he was cute, so you did what you do best – you wrote him a poem and made him a bracelet to go along with it. Neither were anything fancy, but they had come from your heart and you hoped he would be able to sense that.

You couldn’t just waltz up to him and give it to him, though. He was the leader of Oya Koukou, always surrounded by guys who would lay their lives down for him. You didn’t feel quite so comfortable stepping into Oya, either, so you took a less direct route.

“Can you please give this to Murayama-san?” you smiled brightly, holding out the small box containing the two items, along with some cookies you had bought from the store. It was secured with a blue ribbon so the contents wouldn’t spill out.

Furuya and Seki exchanged a look, clearly unsure of how to feel about this situation. No one had ever been brave enough to come up to them unless they were looking for a fight and you were looking at them without fear. Rather, you were looking at them with kindness which caught them off guard. Oya students were never looked upon with kindness.

“Um…” Furuya cleared his throat, glancing at his friend before slowly taking the box from your hand. “Sure…”

“Thank you very much!” You smiled brightly, bowing to them before turning and rushing away.

The two men watched you blankly until you turned the corner.

“What if it’s a bomb?” questioned Seki, taking a step back.

Furuya scoffed, smacking him atop his bald head. “Don’t be an idiot.”

When Furuya finally presented the box to Murayama, the younger male wasn’t entirely sure how to feel. He assumed it was just a challenge letter or another glitter bomb. The latter made him pause in opening it, dark eyes shifting to the couch he sat upon. He was still finding glitter stuck to the fabric after the last one he had received and that was over two months ago.

With a scowl, he decided to head outside in order to open it, not wanting to have to clean up the mess again if it really was a glitter bomb. Not that he had actually put in any work the last time – it was mostly Furuya and the lower ranking among the part-timers.

Safely outside, he tugged the ribbon, letting it fall to the ground. When he lifted the lid, he could only blink at the contents, clearly confused. He reached for the neatly folded paper first, convinced that it just had to be a challenge letter, but it wasn’t.

He certainly wasn’t the brightest kid at Oya, so the poem left him scratching his head, though he’d be lying if he said it didn’t elicit a warm reaction from within him. The bracelet was made of brown rope with a baseball charm in the center, surrounded by two blue beads on either side of it.

The bag of cookies was snatched from the box by a grinning Seki but they were quickly taken back by the younger male, a scowl on his lips. His dark eyes fell on Furuya. “Oi, where did you get this?”

The tall man shrugged a shoulder. “Someone asked me to give it to you.”

“Who?”

“I didn’t get their name…”

Murayama exhaled in annoyance, his eyes returning to the poem. He wasn’t sure why, but every time his gaze slid across the words, it awoke a fluttering feeling in his chest. Though the full meaning was lost on him, he could understand a part of it. Whoever had written this clearly felt strongly about him, he could feel it in every stroke of the pen.

“Find them,” muttered Murayama, making the two older men exchange a look of surprise.

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“There, it’s done!” you grinned brightly, setting the paint brush down onto the table. Your hands and apron were covered in various colored paints but you didn’t mind – it was part of the creative process, after all! Sitting before you was the completed canvas, the colors vibrant and warm.

“Woah, that looks amazing,” commented your best friend. “Who is he?”

“Murayama Yoshiki.” The name felt nice on your tongue and you smiled warmly, admiring his silhouette in front of the school he adored so much. “Do you think he’ll like it?”

“He better,” she scoffed, folding her arms over her chest. “Any guy would be lucky to receive this as a gift.”

“Thank you,” you nodded proudly. “I think it’s my best work!”

“When are you going to -”

The doors of the art room were thrown open, causing both of you to whip around in surprise. Your friend looked terrified, her body tensing up as she slowly backed away.

You slowly stood up from the stool, blinking at Furuya and Seki. “What are you two doing here? How did you even find me?”

Your friend looked at you in shock, leaning toward you and hissing, “You know these two?!”

“Not personally, no,” you replied nonchalantly, shifting to the side so they wouldn’t see the painting.

Furuya stepped farther into the room, glancing around and wrinkling his nose. When was the last time he had been inside a classroom that wasn’t destroyed? Elementary school, perhaps? It felt strange to him.

“Murayama sent us to get you.”

Your eyes widened, heart skipping a beat. “W-What for?”

Your friend’s voice shook as she stepped toward you, fingers curling around your arm. “Y-You can’t just… just walk in here and kidnap people!”

“Hah?” His eyes narrowed at her, his tone enough to make her flinch.

“It’s okay,” you told her softly, offering her a reassuring smile and a pat on the hand. “They won’t hurt me.” ‘I hope,’ you found yourself thinking.

“Are you sure…?”

“Yes.”

“Come on, we don’t have all day,” scowled Furuya, though his voice lacked its usual bite. “We’ve been looking for you for hours and we’re hungry.”

“Sorry for the trouble,” you apologized. “Just one moment, okay?”

He watched you closely as you gathered your things and he didn’t miss how you hid the canvas from him, carefully wrapping it up with brown paper. You felt nervous as you followed the two large men from the school, hyper aware of the strange and terrified looks of your classmates.

The worst your school ever saw was someone kicking the vending machine because their snack got stuck, so seeing these two obvious delinquents had everyone on edge, especially since you were following them. You kept your head high, though, smiling brightly to let everyone know you were okay. You hoped they wouldn’t sense your nervousness.

Arriving at Oya put you even more on edge because everyone was watching you, sizing you up to see if you were a fit challenge for them. You had no doubt in your mind that if Furuya and Seki hadn’t been with you, they wouldn’t have hesitated to attack you. As someone who couldn’t fight to save your life, you found yourself walking closer to Furuya for comfort.

The boys led you into the gym where Murayama was waiting, lying across the couch and tossing a ball into the air before catching it. Several groups of guys were scattered throughout the gym, all of whom looked at you with suspicion and confusion as you were led to the stage.

“We’re back!” announced Seki with a grin.

Murayama caught the ball, moving his head to the side. His eyes locked with yours and you felt your breath catch in your throat. You had seen him so many times before this, but it was always from a distance and never up close. Had he always been this pretty?

He slowly sat up, his feet pressing against the floor as he watched you. He lifted his hand, motioning for you to come closer but you were rooted to the spot, unable to tear your gaze away from those dark pools.

Furuya gave your shoulder a gentle shove, knocking you from your daze.

You clutched the painting to your chest as you slowly stepped closer, gaze on the ground in front of you.

“Oi,” called Murayama, his tone softer than you had expected. “Why did you give me these?”

Glancing up, you saw him holding the poem you had written. The bracelet was secured around his wrist, bringing a bright grin to your lips. “You’re wearing it!”

He tilted his head to the side. “That’s usually what people do with bracelets, yeah?”

“Yes, I just… I thought you might have thrown it away,” you admitted sheepishly, rubbing the back of your neck. “I’m really happy you kept it.”

Why was his heart picking up speed? He wasn’t sure, but it made him feel vulnerable and he didn’t like feeling that way. His eyes flickered to the brown package held protectively against your chest. “What’s that?”

You felt warmth flood your cheeks, grip tightening around the painting. Yes, you were quite proud of what you had created but… were you read to show it to him? Giving him the poem was easy because you weren’t there to see his reaction. If you showed him the painting now, you wouldn’t be able to avoid it if he didn’t like it.

“It’s, um… it’s nothing! Just a school project,” you lied, laughing nervously.

Furuya scoffed, folding his arms over his chest. “It’s a painting.”

“You saw it?!” Your wide eyes snapped to him and he smirked.

Murayama’s eyes narrowed at the two of you, feeling jealous that Furuya knew what it was when you refused to show it to him. Clicking his tongue, he stood up and jumped down from the stage, closing the distance in just a few strides. He reached toward you without thinking and you winced, taking a step back.

His brow furrowed, hand falling back to his side. “Are you afraid of me?”

“No!” You replied quickly, shaking your head. “Sorry, I’m just not very good with being touched.”

“Oh.”

You nodded, biting your lower lip in thought. After a moment of silence, you slowly held out the painting. “I made this for you, Murayama-san. I hope you like it.”

His heart skipped a beat at how cute you are and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t happy to be receiving a gift from you. He took the package, careful not to touch your fingers as he did so. He tugged away the brown paper, dark eyes scanning the canvas.

You watched his expression carefully, but he remained stoic, causing you to bite your lip again. “You probably don’t like paintings, huh? I didn’t really think about it, I’m sorry.”

Though his face remained blank, there was a war zone going on inside of him. He was absolutely touched by the painting you had done of him. He was touched by the bracelet and the poem. He couldn’t remember a time he had felt happier, though he knew taking over Oya was a close second.

“I love it,” he breathed out, eyes shimmering with sincerity as he stepped closer to you.

A bright smile came to your lips and he was sure it had just brightened the room. “I’m so glad!”

“Why are you giving me these things?” Murayama was dumb, but he wasn’t that dumb. He had a good idea of the answer, but he wanted to hear you say it. He wanted to be sure.

“Ah, well…” you rubbed the back of your head, cheeks warming. “I really like you, Murayama-san.”

“Yoshiki. Call me Yoshiki.”

You felt like you were going to burst with happiness. “Yoshiki-san, then.”

He adored the way his name sounded coming from you and he wanted to hear it again. His mind was racing as he tried to grasp onto the words he wanted to say. He just wanted to ask you out on a date, it couldn’t be that hard! Yet the words continued to escape him, much to his frustration.

“Yoshiki-san?”

“What?”

You hesitated for a moment. “Will you…”

His heart skipped a beat. Were you about to ask him out?

“…look at the painting tonight? In the dark, I mean.”

His heart dropped, a frown tugging at his lips. “Why?”

“Please?” You pressed your hands together, giving him a pleading look that he couldn’t being himself to say no to.

“Fine.”

“Thank you!” You glanced at your watch and clicked your tongue. “I have to go, but don’t forget, okay?”

Before he could utter a word, you turned on your heel and rushed away. Murayama’s frown deepened as he looked at the painting. What was so special about looking at it at night? It made no sense.

Then again, nothing about this situation made any sense to him.

That night, he waited for the sky to darken before he slipped away from the gym, painting in hand. He headed into an empty classroom, not turning on the light and nearly tripping over a desk lying on the floor. He clicked his tongue in annoyance, kicking it out of the way.

It was then that something caught his eye. Something was glowing a faint green in the darkness. He slowly lifted the painting, squinting at the words. Painted in the bottom corner with glow in the dark paint were the words, will you go out with me?

He scoffed in disbelief, the corners of his lips sliding upward. What a cheeky little thing you were!

To him, you were strange. He didn’t understand poetry or painting or making bracelets. He didn’t understand why you liked him or how you had come to do so, but he admired the fact that you had approached Furuya and Seki without fear.

You didn’t look at any of them with disgust or fear, just kindness. People were always quick to judge those at Oya, and rightfully so, but they were rarely ever given a chance. You were willing to give them one.

Murayama smiled as he leaned against the window sill, the cool night air ruffling his hair. He could definitely picture you as the queen of Oya, as his queen.

“I hope you’re ready,” he hummed softly. “Tomorrow, I make you mine~”

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High&Low Masterlist

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#high&low #high and low #murayama yoshiki #high & low #oya koukou #ask #answered #request #anon #Rains ficography

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sorencd · 9 months

Text

HANDLE WITH CARE

pairing: todd anderson x reader

word count: 0.6k

a/n: the title is from this song! i love it sm hdhhd sorry it took me a bit to answer this anon!

masterlist

picnic dates were more preferable when you don’t have another person flirting with you when you clearly have stated numerous times that you have a boyfriend, you concluded. lucas, the bloke who undoubtedly fancied you, was blatantly flirting with you. and no matter how many times you’ve tried telling him to stop, ignoring him, and even moving spots to get away from him, he’d quickly be hot on your trail and insist on joining the two of you, invading both you and todd’s privacy.

“come on. just give me a chance and i bet i could treat you better than he could.” he gave todd a repulsed glance as arrogance dripped with each word that came out of his mouth, it irked you to no end. who was he to look at todd like that? where’d he get his confidence? “one date with me is all it takes. whaddya say?” that was your breaking point.

“can even the word ‘no’ not get through your extraordinarily thick skull? are you that hurt that you won’t take no for an answer? what, you’re too scared to tell the lads you got rejected?” you spat at him with a heated expression, “just piss off- actually, no. todd, let’s find somewhere else to eat.” you started returning the jars and containers back into the basket and tugged on todd’s hand, you two started walking to yet another space in the park, not sparing lucas a glance and anymore of your time. thankfully, he left you two alone this time.

now, you were spreading jelly and peanut butter on toast while todd was munching on the cookies you brought with a dejected and spaced out face. “is there something wrong?” you asked, concerned. todd shook his head, trying to dismiss your question.

“don’t listen to what he said, he’s just desperate.” you tried comforting him. thanks to the idiot from earlier, the once happy mood was now soiled, to your and todd’s dismay.

“but what if he’s right?” as soon as the words left his mouth, you stopped your peanut butter spreading and turned your head to look at todd, who already held a gaze on you. he was heartbroken because of what lucas said. his eyes carrying a doleful weight to it and his body movements no longer showed the lively side that only you and the poets get to see. you desperately wanted to wipe off that sunken expression.

“what if, just maybe, he’s actually better than me? what if he can make you happier than i ever could?”

you abruptly took a hold of both his shoulders, hardening the stare you had on him. todd was expecting you to get angry at him for thinking that way, he feared that his tendency to overthink and dissect everything that he probably shouldn’t even give that much thought into would drive you away from him. but instead, you hugged him. the most tender, warm, and genuine hug he could ever receive.

“don’t say that.”

“but i want what’s best for you.”

“i don’t want what’s best for me, i want you. i don’t care if he’s somehow better, which i doubt.” you shrugged and rolled your eyes. in what world would lucas be better than todd? none. exactly.

he tightened the hug and rested his chin on your shoulder, the both of you quickly forgetting about the food. what you said had him in tears, he had always wanted to hear those words he didn’t know he needed so much. in his hands, he found the perfect muse not only for the endless poems he’s bound to write, but the muse to his own love story.

“i love you, (y/n).” he broke away from the hug to give you a sweet kiss on the lips, you beat him to it first though.

“i love you more, todd. and besides! even if he was, which i again, doubt, i’d still choose you. because he’s not you. in every lifetime, every universe, i’d always choose you..”

#dead poets society #dead poets society x reader #todd anderson #todd anderson x reader

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vulnonapix1234 · 4 months

Text

I am back with my Dadknight bullshit after procrastinating on the Danny Phantom fandom for so long-

Anyway, you know that feeling of putting so many headcanons on a character that they become another character?

Me @Fright Knight.

I will separate this into 4 "Acts".

His Childhood, his Adulthood, his ghostly afterlife, and his servitude under his kings.

1. His Childhood

Fright Knight or Ferdinand (the beautiful name @jadenoryuu came up with a few months ago) was raised by his older sister after their mother died during childbirth and his father died of an infection.

He also had 6 younger siblings, though only 2 of them survived past the age of 10.

(What can I say? Dark age and all of that.)

From a very young age, he had to help his sister with raising their siblings and spend most of his time working in the fields of a minor noble to ease their debt of living on his land.

Despite his rough upbringing, he used to be a cheerful child.

He liked to create fairy tales and stories to make others happy.

Then, at the ripe age of 13, small but bloody battles started to happen around the borders of the minor noble, as another blue-blooded idiot had taken his place and now wanted to expand his lands.

It's important to say that said noble couldn't count on his fellow nobles to help him and also didn't want to lose parts of his lands.

So he did the unorthodox thing and gave his workers and villagers weapons.

It was a stupid thing to do, but he was able to manipulate his men into thinking that this was for their own protection.

Ferdinand was 14 when he killed for the first time.

As the battles became more violent, it happened again and again, till his hands stopped shaking whenever he had to use the sword and people started to see him as a ruthless monster.

He was 16 when this battle stopped for him after he was sold by the noble to a group of mercenaries, who saw his "talent" at killing other people.

There, he was given some actual training with the sword, learned to ride a horse, and even the basics of reading and writing.

It was pretty much the best thing that could have happened to him, even if it meant that he never saw any of his siblings ever again.

2. His Adulthood

Ferdinand spent most of his adult life as a hired blade for various nobles and as such backstabbed his way into infamy.

As long as you could pay the price, he'd do any deed for you.

(Most of his earned money still went to the group that trained, fed, and clothed him)

It was only after he was 29 that he found his permanent Master in the form of an equally infamous noble that he was supposed to kill.

He wasn't able to assassinate him and when he was at the end of the others blade, he had taken a liking to him.

The noble paid off his debt to the Mercenary group and made him his knight, which was a great honor to a lowborn man like him.

Ferdinand looked up to that noble.

He was strong. Stronger than himself and anyone he ever had to work for, unlike the other, fearful and weak nobles.

He was also kind, despite being known as a cruel ruler.

Ferdinand was allowed to read and create stories and poems.

Nightmare stems from one of them. She was originally a creature that he had created as a child to help his siblings fall asleep.

An Alicorn that appeared to those with the purest of hearts, turned into a being of Ruthlessness that hunts down those who stand in her way by the trauma he had gone through in his life.

He died in battle at the age of 35, after his ruler turned his back on him, to flee against the lowborn villagers that revolted against him.

3. His ghostly Afterlife

He formed because of his obsession to find a master who is strong and wouldn't turn their back on their subordinates.

Ferdinand spent most of his time tearing down and destroying ghost after ghost to find that master, giving him the name Fright Knight.

Due to this unrelenting fighting, he became strong enough to create Nightmare into reality.

4. His servitude under his Kings

Pariah Dark was the first ghost that was able to beat him and he started to follow him like he did with his former master when he was alive.

It was comfortable for him.

Easy.

It was his King that gave him the soul shredder and he did like to fight alongside him.

But he was also more than aware that he did not care for him or anyone else outside of their power.

After all, there were times when he forced his hand with his crown of fire and ring of rage.

After Pariah Dark was sealed away, the same fate awaited him in the form of a pumpkin, a throwback to his beginnings as a farm worker.

Meeting his current King for the first time was an... event.

Having the gift of his former king stolen from him was worse than the joy of getting free.

He ended up defeated, sealed back, by him and it made him furious.

How could someone so young and foolish do that to him?

Somehow, he was more angry about not getting a real fight against him and wanted to remedy this.

Because there is a difference between losing a battle and getting tricked.

This was abandoned after Vlad promised him a way to free his (former) King.

So he decided to follow him and train that potential.

Then that kid showed up again, beating not only him and his army but also his king, solidifying his potential over them.

This boy could become a real monster, if someone trained him, similar to how the group of mercenaries had helped him become one.

His King wasn't amused about this in the beginning, not trusting him for the things he had done before.

But he didn't have a chance, because he needed more allies in the ghost world and Fright Knight was a powerful creature.

___

This is it for this post! I hope that I was able to build a okish backstory for him.

I will make another one detailing more of his relationships between Danny, the rest of the everlasting trio, Jazz, Dani and Mr Lancer.

(I am also really interested in your guys opinion on this)

#danny phantom #danny fenton #dad knight #dadkinght #fright knight #danny phantom fright knight #fright Knight danny phantom #please tell me your thoughts

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soracities · 9 months

Note

God I had such a wonderful literature teacher in high school. It pains me to admit that I spent most of his classes either sleeping or daydreaming about death and other equally depressing subjects. I remember thinking even then, I used to like books. Why can't I get myself through this readings why are all of these poems so lifeless to me? And like the rest of my classmates I just googled the Spanish equivalent for SparkNotes for all the readings and got a 10 in every exam. Now I find myself seeking out those same poems and sonnets and books and wishing I could turn back in time to actually listen to this passionate guy who had been all over Europe and knew 5 languages and lived so much and was so specific about which translation to get for every poem and have strong opinions about 10 other translations. I just want to grab my past self and shake them hard and scream "WAKE UP!!!!!! This thing you're ignoring right now will be the only spark of hope and joy you will find in your 20s please it's can save your life NOW if you manage to open your eyes and ears for a little bit"

Now I'm getting a degree in english, and I'm an auxiliary teacher at a primary school and it really feels a bit depressing to know that sometimes not even a great, passionate and talented teacher can make someone with an underlying interest in the subject actually pay attention and enjoy a high school class. Or maybe I was just an idiot and it's a me problem. Or maybe literature is meant to pass you by the first time around and make you go and get it out of your own will at your own time.

I think there's definitely something to be said for finding the right literature at the right time, absolutely--but I also think the fact that you still remember this teacher and the incredible passion and attentiveness he brought to those classes, that you are holding this recognition close to you now, even if you weren't able to give it the attention you wish you had at the time, counts for something, too 💕 in spite of everything something of his teaching still remained with you, even if it's being appreciated after the fact, and I think that, for most teachers, that impact alone means a great deal! Maybe you didn't appreciate the class itself, but you are appreciating the poems and those outlive every classroom and what greater influence is there than that? (And sometimes it's not even the subject itself that remains with you, but the actual teacher. I had an incredible English teacher also, but I know the impact she left on some of my friends had little to do with the poems and plays and everything to do with who she was as a person, and this is, I think, one of the most important things that come from a marvellous teacher)

I don't think you were an idiot at all--I think that whatever you were going through at the time must have been so immense, and as frustrating as it is to look back and wish you could have managed things differently, I think it's so important to allow yourself some grace for the fact that who you are now, looking back, and who you were then, are two different people--some circumstances, I think, are beyond a pupil and a teacher's control but we do the best we can with what we have, and what you have now, and what you had back then, probably look very, very different. Have you ever considered reaching out to your former literature teacher? Writing a letter or an email to let him now what you feel about his classes now, being older, and what this recognition means to you?

I think it's amazing that you are where you are now, with the passion you have now, and also with the awareness, even if you couldn't appreciate it at that time, of what a passionate teacher can bring because it will help make you a more attentive and better teacher as a result. I think teaching is one of those vocations you need to love with your entire being and if you can bring that love and that attentiveness with you to the best of your ability at any given time, then this counts for something, even if not immediately in the classroom itself 💕

#i wish you the best with your teaching and the rest your degree anon!!!#i think also sometimes the impact of certain classes and teachers are things you dont always realise until much later. and i dont think tha #is necessarily a flaw on your part #i think its just the way of things as you get older and gain new perspectives and are able to put your past experiences into a more detaile #framework and understand it more fully. and even if appreciation and gratitude come late they are still things you can use in your life as #you move forward from this point on and allow them to inform your future interactions <3 #ask #anonymous

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ugh-yoongi · 5 months

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hi!! i miss jin sm😭😭do u have any fic recs i could read in such a time?

hi nonnie! i also miss him very much, so i hope these fics can make you feel a lil better <3

most of these works contain mature themes/content. please heed tags and do not engage with any explicit work if you are a minor!

(also pls note i am doing this at work and we are slammed so there are a ton i've forgot. i'll come back and update this when i have a bit more time, but until then, please feel free to reblog with your own favorites!)

seokjin x reader

all you're giving me is friction by @hot-soop

last christmas by @xjoonchildx

meet me at the bar by @eoieopda

come sail away by @the-boy-meets-evil

distraction by @here2bbtstrash

taming of the bridezilla by @cinnaminsvga

play hard by @honeymoonjin

for you, anything by @gukyi

sugar by @wwilloww

aubade by @junghelioseok

on the ropes by @raplinesmoon

christmas warfare by @gimmethatagustd

i'm all yours by @sailoryooons

decent by @hamsterclaw

as always, member x member fics (aka me being namjin/yoonjin trash) under the cut!

member x member

beneath the moon by @yoongiphoria (namjin)

the restitution coefficient by @effortandmore (namjin)

these four walls (yoonjin)

look (yoonjin)

telepathy for virgins (2seok)

kkotkkoji (namjin)

beta tau sigma (namjin)

a calendar in one color (yoonjin)

salt water (namjin ft. jk)

concluding remarks (yoonjin)

breaking the soulbond (yoonjin)

somewhere you can meet me (yoonjin)

acts of service (yoonjin)

C:\PAIRINGS\YoonJin\Date_A.exe (yoonjin)

the rightish reasons (yoonjin)

local dumbass idiot helps sexy criminal and then writes sad bird poems instead of just saying Yes Seokjin I Like You Too (namjin)

easy (namjin)

and they were roommates (namjin)

a sociolinguistic analysis of epenthesis in academic convergence (namjin)

worldwide lonesome (yoonjin)

the vagabond (yoonjin)

a breach of protocol (namjin)

wish you were instead (jinmin)

everything moves on (namjin)

kim seokjin, professional miracle (yoonjin)

more walls (collected along the way) (namjin)

smile like you mean it (2seok)

bloom (jinkook)

bated breath (2seok)

cherub vice (jinkook)

imprints & magnitude (namjin)

we were written in the stars (jinmin)

two bros, chillin in the gay club (2seok)

i wouldn't know where to start (yoonjin)

inc. (yoonjin)

fake sugar (jinkook)

#seokjin x reader #jin x reader #seokjin fanfic #jin fanfic #bts x reader #bts fanfic #if you read anything on the mxm list PLEASE let it be easy #it is my favorite portrayal of jin ever #ever ever #fic rec #jewel answers

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elettralightwood · 7 months

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Moments from the fight at Kensington Palace that absolutely shattered my heart ♡

• Henry turns to face him at last, and now that Alex’s eyes aren’t full of rainwater, he can see the skin under his eyes is papery and purple, rimmed pink at his eyelashes. There’s a tense set to his shoulders Alex hasn’t seen in months, not directed at him at least.

• Something rises in Alex’s throat—anger, confusion, hurt, bile. Unforgivably, he feels like he might cry.

• “I fucking love you, okay?” Alex half yells, finally, irreversibly. Henry goes very still against the mantelpiece. Alex watches him swallow, watches the muscle that keeps twitching in his jaw, and feels like he might shake out of his skin. “Fuck, I swear. You don’t make it fucking easy. But I’m in love with you.” A small click cuts the silence: Henry has taken his signet ring off and set it down on the mantel. He holds his naked hand to his chest, kneading the palm, the flickering light from the fire painting his face in dramatic shadows. “Do you have any idea what that means?” “Of course I do—” “Alex, please,” Henry says, and when he finally turns to look at him, he looks wretched, miserable. “Don’t. This is the entire goddamned reason. I can’t do this, and you know why I can’t do this, so please don’t make me say it.”

• Alex swallows hard. “You’re not even gonna try to be happy?” “For Christ’s sake,” Henry says, “I’ve been trying to be happy my entire idiot life. My birthright is a country, not happiness.”

• “So, what, was this all never going to be anything real to you?” And Henry snaps. “You really are a complete idiot if you believe that,” Henry hisses, the note balled in his fist. “When have I ever, since the first instant I touched you, pretended to be anything less than in love with you?”

• “It was never supposed to be an issue,” he goes on, his voice hoarse. “I thought I could have some part of you, and just never say it, and you’d never have to know, and one day you’d get tired of me and leave, because I’m—” He stops short, and one shaking hand moves through the air in front of him in a helpless sort of gesture at everything about himself. “I never thought I’d be stood here faced with a choice I can’t make, because I never ... I never imagined you would love me back.”

• “What do you want?” “I want you—” “Then fucking have me.”

• “I don’t want it!” Henry practically shouts. His eyes are flashing, wet and angry and afraid. “Don’t you bloody see? I’m not like you. I can’t afford to be reckless. I don’t have a family who will support me. I don’t go about shoving who I am in everyone’s faces and dreaming about a career in fucking politics, so I can be more scrutinized and picked apart by the entire godforsaken world.”

• Alex takes a breath. “I never said you were a coward.” “I.” Henry blinks. “Well. The point stands.”

• “I’ll leave,” he says, and he turns back and leans in, “as soon as you tell me to leave.” “Alex.” He’s in Henry’s face now. “Tell me you’re done with me. I’ll get back on the plane. That’s it. And you can live here in your tower and be miserable forever, write a whole book of sad fucking poems about it. Whatever. Just say it.” “Fuck you,” Henry says, his voice breaking, and he gets a handful of Alex’s shirt collar, and Alex knows he’s going to love this stubborn shithead forever.

• He realizes, suddenly, Henry’s crying. He swallows. That’s the thing: he doesn’t know. He doesn’t know if this is supposed to be some kind of consummation, or if it’s one last time. He doesn’t think he could go through with it if he knew it was the latter. But he doesn’t want to go home without having this. “C’mere.”

• He tells his too-fast brain: Don’t miss it this time. He’s too important.

#rwrb #red white and royal blue #firstprince

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silvercity-yir · 7 months

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Some TMNT07 miscellaneous HEADCANONS THAT I LIKE TO THINK OF

This ends up a bit long. Also, english is not my mothertounge language so, there may be errors of grammars here and there.

Anyway, Some of prev hc of 07!turtles are here. Some of them may be ooc so just look away from this post. I just think that they deserve to be goofy

Leo

While he is the ghost of the jungle, he has his own fair share encounter of ghosts as well. Many of them caused him to get a fever the next morning.

One of the 'encounters' is him accidentally called out for it, other times is chase it, other time is that he picked an unusual stench(he should've ignored it) and questions it. Although he redeems himself from jabbing the supernatural encounter by meditating at night for 3 weeks.

When he tells his 'ghost story' to his brothers and splinter, he has a smug face that annoys Donnie and Raph(with affection) but when Splinter ask him 'Ah, my son, do you experience any after effect the next morning'

Beloved eldest brother cannot - No, he must never lie to his father - Never -

Leo: ...I got a fever the next morning...and it's hard to sleep even if I'm really exhausted...

Donnie: Smug ghost

Raph: Ironic fearless

Mikey: ghost of the jungle being ghosted

Splinter: Even a ghost must learn to recognise its own pride

Leo: Alright, alright, I'm sorry, sorry, I thought it was just dumb local kids pranks that's why I respond. Also, If it were you 3, I'll have you all set up as a sacrifice(bait) for the ghost if we are in a haunted situation

Raph, Mikey and Donnie: Love to see you try, Ghost 👻

He is fond of sharp stuff since he takes good care of swords and other sharp object mechanical parts and etc. For example, he sharp pencil until it's really sharp, every night he make sure that his blades are clean from remains stuck on it.

For that he is in charge of their metal weapon such as fixing broken swords, sometimes Raph sai, he even makes chain but he enjoys keeping them from rusting rather making it.

Also due to his fondness of sharp stuff, he bought kitchen knives straight from the shop, it cause Donatello to transform into mamatello

Donnie: LEONARDO!

Leo: *from his room*oh no, it's mamatello.

He occasionally forgets the name of certain technology products so he refers to them as it and may have forgotten some of their form

Leo: Is the tv really this big? Did it get bigger?

Raph: No it aint, you just shrunk, bro. Remote.

Leo: ..Wha..Oh*picks up the remote* this black thing plastic thing is it?

Raph: I say man 🤦

Silly time aside, Leo is the one who often does solo night patrol when other are busy or asleep.

In the comics of prequel movie, he has killed people, sometimes he wants too far as in broken arms, legs and bloody head and face for the thugs, he doesn't kill them just cause some serious concussion.

He and Raph both can be absorbed in the thrills of battle, only Leo tends to go overboard sometimes upon returning from central america.

Leo reads a lot about the stars, minerals and plants after the movie, he still reads strategy books like Sun Tzu art of war.

I hc that he can write poems, and haiku after his training. fight me

He is fluent in japanese, he picked up on some spanish but he is able to read it well, just not speaking in spanish.

Raph

I hc that he comes clean with everyone about him being nightwatcher after the whole winter thing. He even bowed apologetically to everyone in the dojo

Don and splinter had their suspicious but Don interrogates him how he snuck in and out of the lair.

Mikey on the other hand felt like an idiot for not recognizing his own brother based on the news and rumors that seem so related to one of them. He was shocked for 3 days.

After 3 days, Raph offers Mikey a ride on his bike donning night watchers helmet and a red motorcycle suit for Raph and Mikey an orange one suit and helmet. He wants to make up for his abscence despite being at home. They both had but Raph won't allow Mikey to ride on his bike unless if it's emergency

He paint his nightwatcher bike in red.

Ever since he bacame Nighwatcher, he became a vehicle expert it's mostly on his bike to take care of but he learns other vehicles in order to sabotage a gangs dirty job.

He is also super stealthy, won't see him coming.

Him being Nightwatcher has also made him to remember all the routes in the city, every road and every rooftop.

The others sometimes would tease about him being Nightwatcher. As a friendly sibling joke

Leo: Hey Raph, do you think you have a fanclub for Nightprince? Any admirers?

Raph: No, and if it did I'll run away from them. And it's Nightwatcher.

Donnie: But you're not nightwatcher anymore, you're Raphael, a grumpy sleepy snappy turtle.

Mikey: Haha, grumpy sleepy snappy turtle. Still, no jetpacks?

Raph: Obviously no, that's an offense to all our stealth training. I only have my bike and that's enough.

Donnie: Ah, yes of course your true love

The 3 of them are chased by Raph

It is Raph that started to call Donnie, Mamatello, To him Donnie became 'bossy' but still cares and worry for the well being of others in Leo's abscence and it still stays with him even after his return.

He also has convinced Leo to 'join' him because sometimes he feels like Donnie would became an Aunty-tello after his day job, and that is worse esppecially when he's mad.

Leo: What's in it for me?

Raph: He can sop bugging us about both of us not havin a job. I'll think of a day job that works for all 4 of us.

Leo: I do miss our geeky dorky brother being a geeky dorky brother. I'm proud that he's grown up but he's so...(irritated grumble) I'm in

Raph: Alright, we'll start by giving father extra cakes in silent

Leo: Wha...0_0

Leo went along with him anyway.

But Leo and Raph had a great time bonding and spendy their mundane free time

Raph may not look like it but he really is thinking of a job for all 4 of them

Raph just miss the old days because he actually miss the time they spend togeher.

When they go out on patrol, He is the most shocked towards Leo's violent impulse that he froze and is hesitant to intervene.

Luckily he was able to snap Leo out of it

Raph himself is too a battle maniac as mikey calls him and Leo but as nightwatcher he exercise some restraints.

Donnie akamamatello

Since he works from home, he sometimes cleans up the lair except for Raph's room because he sleeps all day with the door locked(or so he thought)

Since he works from home, makes him the 'leader' of the lair.

His job had him mentally drained because he's dealing with karens and boneheads every day, it drives him insane.

Poor harwoking turtle became sleep deprived, and if he does sleep, he dreams about a working his job without encountering any karens it's so peaceful until he wakes up

I like to hc that deep down he despise both Raph and Leo for just leaving him and Mikey by themselves to take care of the lair.

He can take care of the technological needs of the lair but it's difficult when he and Mikey are the ones that handle it when their father's health need to taken care of

He vents out all his frustration by training with his bo staff in the dojo

Donnie dosen't mind being called mamatello(who else has been managing the lair, splinter is getting old dude) He is proud of it too, because he discovered that there is something he can manage but if one of them calls him while their on a battle or etc. There's hell to pay.

I like to think that when he and Mikey have saved enough money for months they buy medical equipments and technologies, They sill have enough for grocery.

Sometimes he call on his brothers conducts a checkup but really he wants to test their equipment, he is so excited to use such fancy equipment bare with him

Example, Donnie: Raph, Mikey, Leo! X-ray come on all of us! I already test it on dad, It's all of you guys turns now.

Leo: He sounds...happy..

Mikey: Don's just happy we get to buy a new medical tech beside I won't be alone for the checkup.

Raph: Well, better than scolding us for some unfinished chores

Leo: Or buying kitchen knives.

Raph: Nah, I think you deserve that. Wtf, man?

Donnie: Hurry up!

In their nights of keeping the city safe as a brothers together, it's up to he 3 of them to exercise restraint on Leo, making sure that he dosen't accidently kill a thug.

Donnie is little afraid and worried of his eldest brother violent but he will do what he can to keep it in check with Raph and Mikey too.

Mikey

When he decide to quit being cowabunga Carl, he and Donnie come up with a plan to let Raph and Leo experience the horror of birthday parties for 2 weeks after that he works for 1 week before quitting completely.

It's mosly to compensate their absence and boy he enjoys it listening to their reactions from his headset.

Surprised at Raph's ability to adapt with the kids with a monotonous voice and Leo scolding the kids behind the parents back when he had the chance(it's rare don't worry), Both of them a one poin accidently knocked out a kid in the process.

Mikey: How's your job, fearless?

Leo: One of them were holding markers like their gonna stab me. They look like Chucky. It's annoying.

Mikey: *wheezing* Chucky. You're so mean

Mikey: Having fun, Raphie?

Raph: I didn't mean to knock that kid out, they're having fun.

Mikey: Dude, why

Raph: I didn't mean it

Since the 2 weeks of their shift, the kids stop slamming Mikey so hard due to Leo's shift, he scold some of the kids for slamming him when the adults are not seen somewhere.

He thanks Leo for that but that alone dosen't make up for his abscence.

I hc that he was frustrated when Leo stopped writing letters to them, when he didn't come home when his training period has ended.

Mikey opens up his frustration to Donnie and Splinter who empathise him, Raph at the time brushes him off by saying that he wants to stay in his room.

He has so much to tell him, he wants to lean on to Leo after his day job(back when he can enjoy it) like the youngest brother he is.

Yet, he wants to be angry at Leo but he distracts himself by focusing on his job Cowabunga Carl and be a goofball when he's back at the lair to rest before he continues the job the next day.

Having Leo to tell him about his journey is one way

Sometimes he handled the lairs technical issues by himself thanks to his observations on Donnie doing it while he explained to him. In return, he dragged Raph or Leo or both of them with him.

He has a diary in which he writes the name of the parent who scolded their kid for slamming him, he is very grateful to them, they are angels.

In their patrol when they are beating up bad guys and Leo would lose himself in the thrill of battle, Mikey was the first turtle to immediately stop restraint him from killing and Leo immediately snaps to reality.

Mikey: Yo, you nearly killed that punk! Sure their bastards acting all tough and harming folks but we don't kill them, we stop them! It's what we do, remember? Let the police and court, I guess to them.

Leo: ...Yeah...You're right, Mikey, Thanks, little bro.

Mikey: Your welcome, It's my job. come on let's give this to the police

#tmnt #tmnt 2007 #tmnt headcanons #my brainrot #I had to write them all down their haunting me #I want to draw comic but I'm not able to #I'm currently getting ready to go to uni

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