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#anyways im just gonna try to think of my favs comforting me back to sleep and maybe I'll feel better
demoiselettes · 1 year
Note
Oh my im incredibly sorry i need to re - do my match - request again ( i forget a few things ) 😅
My name's Jana Pronouns are she / them! Physical appereance is short brow hair that ends with the color red, People say my skintone is like... light colored coffee, My eues are color brown that shines somehow in the any form of light. I'm also bisexual I like : food, animals, ghibli movies and COSTUMES Dislikes : shorts skirts, rude people, people crying and ruined artworks My hobbies are: Cosplaying, Cooking, Sleeping And Drawing!
Personality: People Often Say I Am confident and sassy but i am kind once you get to know me! If your my friend you probably get Candies everyday ( its my tradition to give candies to people i like. ) I have a soft spot for children! If someone cries well i'd try my best to comfort them maybe hug them, listen to them and give them money, if your my friend i'd chase anyone who hurt you with a broom
Extra infromation : I like potatoes give me one and your the love of my life, cats... Really like me! Idk how and idk why, I really like to bake or cook food especially Cupcakes! Fav colors are: Yellow and red! Height is 5'4!
Thats it<3
Eventide
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I match you with Tengen Uzui! And his wives!
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•You’ve gotta be like, so flamboyant because you’re basically his now 😭
•And his wives love you! Makio specially adores your hair color because like her, it isn’t all one color! She thinks it’s a lovely style
•Tengen is the type to just sling you over his shoulders when he sees you and just haul you alongside him
•Suma loves to stare at your eyes, and she does so shamelessly as well since she doesn’t see anything wrong with blatantly showing you how much she adores hoe pretty they look in the sunlight!
•You have three amazing ladies and one smoking hot dude at your service! ;)
•Unfortunately for you, you’re going to have to deal with Suma’s sudden outburst of emotions and her crying, but she’s going to try her best to tone it down for your sake
•Except bottling it up is only going to worsen things so she’s probably gonna be cry more once she something causes her to crack
•One good way to get her to stop is by holding her and letting her sob into your clothes. Don’t mind the snot either
•I am fairly sure people didn’t cosplay back in the Taisho Era, but Tengen will provide you with the flashiest clothes to work with
•Makio’ll do her best not to accidentally rip your artwork while practicing her kunai throws, but i can’t guarantee that it won’t happen once or twice though
•She feels extremely guilty when she accidentally ruins them, and she’ll go out of her way to buy you new and expensive art supplies as an apology and she might even begrudgingly try and help fixing it
•Is it surprising if i mention they’re overprotective? Anyone throws one insult their way and their body will never be found
•But then they notice you being perfectly capable of handling yourself and they loosen up slightly. Slightly.
•Hinatsuru is the one who cooks best out of them, and she will stuff you with food everyday, she takes notes of which foods you like and which ones you don’t
•Tengen teases you about your height a lot, he’ll just use you as an armrest to further emphasize your height difference and sometimes take to just- throwing you in the air and catching you
•They adore it when you give them candies, sometimes they keep it for later so that they have something to snack on. The taste matters little to them because it taste good no matter what as you’re the one who’s given them the little treats
•It’s a good thing you like children..Tengen likes a big family…..
•But anyways if you guys have kids, whether biological or adoptive, those kids are gonna be the luckiest
•Seeing you comfort children and just having a grand time with them is so heartwarming for these four, Suma starts crying, Tengen is grinning and Makio is subtly blushing and Hinatsuru is just smiling contently
•Your love of potatoes remind Tengen of Kyojuro and he sometimes asks him for the best potato recipes to satisfy you because Kyojuro is a connoisseur of potatoes.
•Hinatsuru and you have a fun time coming up with recipes for your family, it’s a moment of domestic bliss for you both to bake together
•Suma and you both love cats and Tengen could not say no to getting one, not with the look you’re both giving him
•He’s such a simp- though his wives are too.
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yengyangyo · 3 years
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berry | k.s.w
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pairings: kim sunwoo x female reader
genre: college au, friends to lovers
summary: you are in denial that you have a crush on your own friend, kim sunwoo until he made you confess your feelings.
word count: 1.9k
note: i wrote this on sunwoo's birthday. its quite late to post it cs i kept on postponing it sksksk but yea this was inspired by sunwoo's berry. enjoy reading! xo
-
you had sunwoo on your mind for days that you are lacking of sleep. it doesnt sit quite right for you to have this 'romantic' feelings for your bestfriend. meanwhile, sunwoo is not helping you to clear up your mind at all. he's just always there beside you no matter what.
he'd wait at the bus stop just to go to class together with you in the morning even when you're running late. lunch time together is a must unless one of you had other plans. both of you are just stuck together anywhere you go.
so for once, you thought it'd be a good plan to avoid him today. you woke up early that morning to get to class and you texted sunwoo that you had a discussion with your groupmates. this went on for a few days, you were making excuses everyday but sunwoo believed you.
until he couldnt take it anymore.
you felt your phone vibrating in your pocket and you saw sunwoo on the caller id. you were hesitating to pick it up until you felt someone grabbing your wrist from the back, turning you around.
"found ya!"
sunwoo appeared in front of you with the brightest smile. you couldn't help but to feel happy and welcomed by him that you started smiling unknowingly. you get back to your senses seconds later and avoided his eyes.
sunwoo knew something was wrong when he saw your expression fell. he glanced at your phone that kept ringing. he ended the call and your phone went off too.
"why arent you answering my calls? are you still busy?"
you couldnt stand seeing sunwoo looking all gloomy and upset. you felt bad for ignoring him so you tried making up excuses again.
"oh yea i was about to pick it up. sorry,"
sunwoo pouted and wrapped his arm around your shoulders. he's using his favourite perfume again today, you noticed. that scent happened to be your fav of him too. you felt weak and wanting to crawl into a hole or something.
"im craving chicken today. how about chicken and beer for dinner tonight?"
sunwoo turned his head at you, waiting for an answer. you looked up at him and his face was only inches away from you. you looked away, flustered. he had always been this way but only now you noticed how you felt about him which made it more awkward to be this close to him.
"i dont know, sunwoo. i'll have to check with my groupmates," you said, pretending to check your phone for your nonexistent messages.
"its friday come on. i havent hang out with you for days already," sunwoo whined and that made you laugh.
"alright but i get to choose where to eat,"
-
you chose the chicken restaurant near your neighbourhood where you both are regular customers there. the place was crowded with youngsters like the both of you, drunken with beer and chicken.
you were also getting tipsy from drinking. the first 30 minutes of the dinner went normal. asking how each other had been doing with the college life.
sunwoo sighed and rested his chin on his right palm. his eyes falters on you, searching for something. you looked away, feeling a bit burdened and transparent, because sunwoo knew you werent acting yourself these days.
"hey," he called you but you didnt answer and still avoiding the eye contact.
"hey look at me,"
you were startled at the warmth on both of your cheeks. sunwoo was cupping your cheeks to make you look at him straight in the eyes. you didnt know if this warmth was from his hand or from you blushing.
"what's wrong?" he asked. now his hand moved to yours, holding it tight. "you're avoiding me these days. do you think i didnt notice?"
silence fell between you two, just staring at each other. the guilt creeping up inside you and you didn't know where to start.
its the smallest gesture from him that create butterflies in your stomach.
that one time he opened the water bottle for you when he saw you struggling and saying that you're such a baby. his laughter filled the room when you frowned at the remark. you know how much he loves annoying you and in the end he always made you laugh too.
on rainy days, he'd always share the umbrella with you and keeping you close to him so you wouldnt get drenched. sometimes he'd gently rub your arm so you wouldn't get too cold.
sometimes he'd call you names like how boyfriend and girlfriend do, jokingly. though, you somewhat enjoyed it and played along. pretending to cringe but actually was flattered by him.
at this moment, your hand in his, eyes boring into each other, you just want to scream at him how much you love him.
you smiled in defeat and pulled back your hand.
"there were just so many thoughts going on my mind lately, sunwoo. im so sorry,"
he didn't question you any further and he nodded his head.
"whatever it is youre thinking, i just want you to know i'm always here for you,"
you smiled, this time sincerely at him.
"you always are sunwoo. i appreciate that,"
he smirked, "after all, i am the best that you got,"
you rolled your eyes and gave him your disgusted face.
"so are you gonna tell me what's bugging you?"
"i think i like someone. he's just always running round in my mind these days,"
you didnt know where the courage came from to blurt out that out of your mouth. sunwoo who was halfway shoving a piece of chicken in his mouth, stopped. he put it down and looked at you, doubting himself if he heard that right.
"i couldnt stop thinking about him. that pretty much explains that i like him right? or is it just my mind playing games with me?"
you swore you saw his face fell for a second but he went back to the usual sunwoo after that.
"does he know about your feelings?"
you shrugged, "nah. im still trying to find out what i really feel about him. should i tell him?"
sunwoo didnt say anything and chugged down his beer until its empty.
"yea why not," he answered simply. "he must be really lucky to have you,"
you laughed, "i havent done anything yet. there's a possibility that he'd reject me too anyway,"
its funny how you talk about this like its some stranger to sunwoo when you are talking about him. you felt light hearted a bit after letting that out.
"who'd reject you?" sunwoo said while playing with that piece of chicken, not looking at you anymore. "you're pretty and fun,"
you raised an eyebrow, wondering if you heard that right. he was still poking the chicken with his fork, eyes hazy and lips pouting.
"so you're not gonna tell me who is this guy you have a crush on?"
"you'll find out soon,"
-
sunwoo offered to walk you home though you kindly told him he didn't have to. he insisted and now you are walking beside him. he was suddenly quiet after the conversation you had with him.
"is that why you're avoiding me? because you have a crush on this guy?"
he asked, hands in his pockets, eyes looking forward. you looked at him, feeling a bit weirded out by his cold tone.
"no... okay maybe? i dont know. i just needed some time to myself,"
sunwoo fell quiet again for the rest of the walk home. when you reached the front gate of your house, you looked back at sunwoo. he looked like he was upset. you walked up to him and pat his side.
"hey thanks for walking me home. i'll tell you everything when i'm ready okay?"
sunwoo didnt say anything and you turned around to get out of that awkward moment.
"no i'll tell you everything right now okay? hear me out,"
you stopped in your tracks and facing him in confusion. he was pacing around, his hands are restless in his pockets.
"before you confess to him i guess i have to make a move on you first," sunwoo said, this time he raised his voice. "this is why people are saying we should always tell what we feel before we regret it and i dont want to regret it but i think im too late,"
you are worried at him. he looked like he was about to break down right in front of you. you wanted to comfort him but you didnt get what he's trying to say.
"sunwoo, i dont understand. what is it?"
sunwoo stopped pacing around and stopped directly in front of you. you swore you saw his eyes tearing up and you wanted to cry too. you thought, the alcohol has made both of you emotional.
"i like you,"
you both felt like the world is weighing down. it was as if the time has stopped for you two. you were staring at each other in disbelief.
"i know you like someone else and i shouldve told you sooner. i kept on putting back my feelings behind," sunwoo halted, gasping for air. "im too late now but i have to tell you this,"
"sunwoo-"
"i dont care who he is. but i want you to know that you deserve of love. you kept on telling yourself you dont deserve anyone. you know how badly i want to tell you that im here? i want to love you," sunwoo was practically shouting at this point. he sighed, "shit im already am in love with you,"
at those words, your tears came streaming down like crazy. you've never seen him cry but tonight he looked beautiful even when he's crying. you lurched forward and wrapped your arms around him. he buried his face in your neck and you felt his warm tears on your skin.
"im sorry. i just wanted to let that out after keeping it for so long. this is the worst timing huh?" he murmured under his breath.
you shook your head and laughed. you let go of the hug first and cupped his face in your hands. teary eyes staring at each other.
"sunwoo its you,"
"what?"
"i love you too,"
you closed the distance between the two of you, kissing him for the first time. that caught him off guard but then smiled in the kiss. it was sloppy but sunwoo is for sure leading you well at this. you both craved for this for a long time already. you were still crying of relief and touched by his confession.
"you should've told me before i start crying like an idiot," sunwoo looked down at you, smiling with his swollen eyes.
you laughed at him and you snuggled more into his embrace not wanting to let go too soon. you realized how much you miss him after those dreading days of ignoring him. he rested his chin on your head while gently patting you.
"im sorry ive been ignoring and denying my feelings for you,"
"its okay. thank god we actually like each other though," you both laughed at the same time and you havent felt this happy and giddy before.
"so i can actually call you my baby now?" sunwoo asked smirking at you playfully, knowing how much you hated it before.
"that's still cringy but sure, babe,"
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motherjoel · 4 years
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Leading Lady (Spencer Reid x Reader)
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chapter five- multitude of realizations
wc: 3.2k
summary: you realize your true feelings for Spencer
a/n: hope yall like! this is one of my fav chapters haha
chapter index: chapter 1, chapter 2, chapter 3, chapter 4
-
As you walked back into your dressing room, you couldn’t help the smile on your face. Sure, there was a murderer after you, but this crush you had on Spencer was honestly just as exhilarating. You had come to terms with the fact that you had a crush on him when you were watching Gilmore Girls earlier on Netflix and he was making commentary on the characters and the books Rory was reading. When he spoke, you were more interested in what he had to say than in the actual show. Although the two of you had only known each other for a couple days, spending all of your time with him had bonded the two of you in a way you hadn’t experienced in months. Once inside the dressing room, you made small talk with your fellow cast members. 
“So, Y/N, when are you and Matt gonna hook up? I’m getting bored, I need a showmance,” said Caroline, the actress who played Fantine.
“Ah, I’m sorry but the Y/N ship has sailed! I’m actually seeing someone now,” you said with a smile, the words feeling genuine.
“Oh my gosh. Spill!” yelled Caroline.
“Well, his name's Spencer,” you shyly told her and the gathering crowd of your female castmates. “He’s staying with me for a little bit while he’s in town, he’s actually here tonight!” you told them as they squealed. 
“We have to be introduced!” Caroline shouted, and you laughed.
“Okay, okay! I’ll point him out to you during mic check but that's all until after rehearsal,” you said with a grin before sitting down at your mirror and beginning the makeup and hair process. 
-
After finishing getting ready, you headed out to the stage for mic check. You waited for a couple minutes with the girls, pointing out Spencer for them to gawk at and whisper to each other while he was mindlessly focused on a thick book. As if he felt the prying eyes of your cast, he looked up and shot you a smile and an awkward wave before focusing back on his book. A few minutes later, Matt walked on stage, slightly out of breath and not in his costume. You could overhear him talking to your director, apologizing for his lateness. Once he noticed you he greeted you with a tight smile and walked over to you, the girls whispering on the other side of the stage, still pointing at Spencer.
“So, a boyfriend, huh? Didn’t think our Y/N could pull it off,” Matt said in a teasing way.
“Wow, news gets around here pretty fast,” you replied, looking up again to Spencer at the back of the auditorium to see he was already looking at you. He seemed a little off… you didn't want to assume he was jealous but you were talking to your cute costar so maybe he was just getting a little too deep into his role of boyfriend. Your exchange with Matt was brief, your director wanted to get the show started as soon as possible. Once John called for places, you snuck back around through the lobby to sit with Spencer. You sat down next to him and he greeted you with a smile.
“Hey Spence, sorry that took a little longer than expected, our Marius was a little late,” you explained. You noticed he didn’t reply- he was just looking at you with a goofy smile. “What?” you asked.
“O-oh I’m sorry, it's nothing,” he said, a blush creeping on his face. “It’s just, not many people call me Spence,” he confessed.
“Oh! I’m sorry, did you not want me to call you that? It’s okay I can jus-” he cut you off.
“No! No, it's really fine. I… like it,” he said, looking down and twiddling his thumbs. As the pit orchestra began to play the opening number you settled into your seat with a smile on your face. The two of you watched the first couple songs, Spence occasionally whispering facts about the history of France in your ear and each time he did you smiled and nodded, occasionally asking questions but mostly just basking in the moment. You noticed that you had to go on soon so you excused yourself and ran into the lobby to head back to your dressing room.
Once you got inside you rushed to make sure you were ready to go on. As you frantically checked your makeup and looked for props, Caroline, who’s character had already died, started to talk to you.
“Girl, that boy is in love with you already,” she said, focused on the bag of chips in her lap. This made you stop everything you were doing.
“Im sorry. What?” you asked, not sure if you were hearing her right.
“I said what I said! Let me tell you, while I was trying to die on stage, I kept getting distracted by the two of you being all cute back there! The way he looks at you… i’ll just say, if someone looked at me like that, I wouldn’t let them go,” she said nonchalantly. Obviously she didn’t know that Spencer sharing your feelings was news to you. You couldn’t deny the chemistry, but you thought you were just imagining his lingering glances and soft smiles. It excited you as much as discouraged you, though. Falling for one of the FBI agents in charge of your case just wasn't right! And if he were to reciprocate those feelings, he could get in trouble at work and that was the last thing you wanted. You didn’t have much time to dwell on this, however, because you were about to go on stage.
-
As you acted and sang your heart out, you kept taking glances to see Spencer’s smiling face in the back of the auditorium. As your biggest song, On My Own was coming up, your nerves picked up a little bit- it was your moment alone on the stage and you couldn’t help it. As the opening notes began to play, you took a deep breath and sang.
And now I'm all alone again
Nowhere to go, no one to turn to
Without a home, without a friend
Without a face to say hello to
And now the night is near
and now I can make-believe he's here
You always resonated with these lyrics. You often felt very alone and it was difficult for you to open up to others. That was, until Spencer came along.
On my own, pretending he's beside me
All alone, I walk with him 'til morning
Without him, I feel his arms around me
And when I lose my way I close my eyes and he has found me
When you and Logan, your ex that you used to live with, broke up, you felt really hopeless. You tried not to let a man decide your happiness, but the two of you were long term and he had helped you through your father's passing. When he moved out, every waking moment was spent missing him.
And I know, it's only in my mind
That I'm talking to myself, and not to him
And although, I know that he is blind
Still I say there's a way for us
There was no way that someone like Spencer liked you. You didn’t feel worthy of it. You didn’t think you deserved to be loved, much less even liked, but even you couldn’t deny that there was chemistry
I love him, but when the night is over
He is gone, the river's just a river
Without him, the world around me changes
The trees are bare and everywhere the streets are full of strangers
That feeling of comfort that you had grown accustomed to around Logan returned when Spencer started to sleep on your couch. You didn’t believe in love at first sight, but this wasn’t that. It was an opportunity for a deep connection, something that you wanted to build on. Not some cringey story about mommy and daddy meeting eyes across the room and falling right then and there. Sure, Spencer was pretty much just your type looks-wise, but when you talked to him you just appreciated him as a person.
I love him, but every day I'm learning
All my life, I've only been pretending
Without me, his world will go on turning
The world is full of happiness that I have never known
 You were over Logan. You didn’t realize until now that you had been sulking the past few months because of him, but there was a new light in your life. As you began to sing the last few lines, you made direct eye contact with Spencer, tears brimming in your eyes. These tears were real, caused by a multitude of realizations. 
I love him
I love him
I love him
But only on my own
Shit. You really liked him.
-
After what felt like years, you had changed back into your clothes and took off your makeup, anxious to see Spencer and to hear his opinion on the show. You were trying to slyly sneak out of the dressing room before Caroline grabbed your shoulder and whipped you around. You sighed, knowing what was about to happen.
“You’re not getting off this easy! You said I could meet your new beau and I'm not leaving until I do!” she said with a smirk. You sighed, anxious at this being the first time you and Spencer really have to put on an act as “lovers”.
“Fine fine, just come on,” you sighed, leading her to the lobby where Spencer was waiting with his book in his hand, facing the opposite direction and talking to someone. Talking to… Matt. Oh jeez. You picked up your pace so you could greet Spencer, tapping him on the shoulder. He whipped around and when he saw you, his face broke into a joyful smile.
“Hey! You were amazing!” he exclaimed as he pulled you into a hug, genuinely excited. This surprised you but it didn’t take long to melt into it. Matt cleared his throat next to you and you let Spence go with a blush.
“Sorry. Spencer, this is Caroline. She plays Fantine,” you introduced the two. Spencer waved hello, not making a move to shake her hand. You wondered why, but you ignored it. 
“You were really great too!” he told her.
“Thank you! So, this is the famous Spencer, huh? Y/N was telling us all of the hot goss about you two,” she said with a smirk.
“Hot goss?” Spencer said with an inquisitive look, you elbowed Caroline in the ribs.
“Uh, anyways we should get going,” you said, trying to usher Spencer out the door.
“Hey hey hey, not so fast!” said Matt, you cursed at him under your breath. “Our Y/N finally gets a boyfriend and we don’t even get to see them kiss?” he asks, a bit of a harsh edge to his voice. You didn’t think he was mad or jealous at first but this behavior was a little weird.
“Now why do we need to do that?” you asked with a harsh tone, Spencer tensing up beside you. You felt bad that he was in this position.
“I mean.... I kinda wanna see it too…” said Caroline, you elbowed her again. Spencer leaned down next to your ear.
“Y/N, it's okay. Kissing is actually safer than giving someone a handshake, the amount of pathogens that pass is staggering,” he whispered. This spouting of facts only made you want to kiss him more, but you really didn’t want to make him feel weird.  
You sighed and turned to face Spencer, placing a hand on his cheek as he leaned down. You felt really guilty, you couldn’t believe that your first kiss with Spencer wasn’t even real or voluntary, but you didn’t want to seem suspicious. He closed the final inches between you two and you both shut your eyes, savoring the few moments your lips were together. He melted under your touch and it seemed like the world stopped spinning for a few seconds. You pulled away and looked him in the eyes, a soft smile on his lips as he straightened out. You had a goofy smile too before realizing your anger for the two dummies next to you.
“Happy?” you asked them harshly before grabbing his hand and leading him into the cool outdoors. No matter the temperature outside, your face was burning.
“I am soooo sorry, they're so annoying and i jus-,” you begin to profusely apologize before he cuts you off.
“Y/N, it's okay! R-really. I knew that pretending to be your boyfriend might lead to something like this,” he reassured you, slightly nervously. You sighed in relief and the two of you silently began your walk home, both trying to hide the smiles creeping on your faces.
-
You unlocked your door while laughing at a joke Spencer was telling about existentialists and lightbulbs. Honestly, it kinda went over your head but his pure joy after telling the punchline was enough to make you smile. 
“Thanks,” he said, looking down. You were confused.
“For what?” you said, still smiling at his joke.
“For laughing at my joke. The last time I told it, all I got was silence and looks of confusion,” he said, embarrassed. “B-but, if it makes you laugh, I know it's good,” he said, more quietly. Your heart could burst.
“Well, no problem. And, hey, if this whole FBI thing doesn’t work out, at least you know you have a career in comedy!” you joked, and he laughed, accidentally knocking your script off the table. The two of you bent down to get it at the same time, hands brushing. You apologized to each other and laughed it off, before Spencer just grabbed it. You both stood up as he placed it on the table. You stood in silence for a minute, both contemplating that moment, but it didn’t last for long once you heard the familiar sound of Spencer’s phone ringing. 
“What's going on Morgan?” he asked after picking up his phone. As he listened to Morgan talk, you could tell that he wasn’t saying ‘Great news Reid! We caught the crazy guy! Now go sweep Y/N off her feet!.’ In fact, as Spencer’s face fell, you could tell it was the exact opposite. He hung up the phone and began pacing around your small apartment.
“What is it, what's going on?” you asked, panic rising as you followed his pacing. 
“There's been another victim. I need to get down to the station, it's pretty late so I can try to get someone to stay here with you, let me just ca-” you cut him off.
“I don’t mind coming with you to the station, I might be able to help,” you offered, already grabbing your purse.
“Are you sure? We might be there for a while,” he warned. 
“As long as you guys have a coffee machine, i'll be golden,” you smiled, despite the situation. He nodded and grabbed his messenger bag filled with files and stormed out the door, you followed him down to the car. Wordlessly, he hopped into the driver's seat, you in the passengers and the two of you sped off to the station.
-
You entered the station and were greeted with the expected hustle and bustle. You were glad for some familiar faces, though. Morgan walked over to greet you two, looking surprised but glad to see that you had come along too.
“Hey guys. Good to see you, Y/N,” Morgan said, resting a hand on your shoulder. You felt Spence stiffen besides you, but you brushed it off. “Reid, Hotch needs you to look at some crime scene photos with him and Prentiss. Y/N, would it be okay if you talked with JJ and Garcia on video chat in the break room? She’s gonna do some background checks on anybody you came into contact with recently. We’ve looked at everything, we’re willing to do anything at this point,” he said, seemingly desperate. 
“Of course, anything to help,” you smiled, waving goodbye to Spencer before heading to the break room where JJ was talking with Garcia already on video chat.
“Well there's our favorite thespian!” said Garcia through the screen, you could hear her smile.
“Hey Pen,” you laughed and sat down across from JJ. 
“How was your rehearsal?” JJ asked. You couldn’t help but smile, thinking about your “exchange” with Spencer.
“It was… good. Really good,” you told them, honestly.
“Hmmm.., it seems like there's something you're not telling us,” hinted Penelope. It was incredible how these people could so easily read you already, and Pen wasn’t even a profiler. You had felt immediately connected to them, though, so you didn’t mind it.
“Ugh, okay. Don’t freak out, or at least let me explain before you freak out, but… Spence and I… kissed,” you confessed. JJ looked shocked, Garcia was already begging for details.
“Listen! It was because of the cover we have going, I told my castmates that he was my boyfriend and this one guy basically demanded that we kiss and I didn’t wanna seem suspicious, so…” you trailed off. JJ’s surprised face morphed into a big smile. 
“Um, okay! First of all, kinda icky that that guy forced you to kiss, but besides that… how was it?!” Garcia asked, with even more energy if possible.
“I don’t know! It was… just for the cover. But, it was nice,” you blushed and the girls squealed. You continued, “I don’t know, Spencer’s just really great and I've only known him a couple days. I felt bad that he had to kiss me,” you confessed, still feeling a little guilty.
“I’m sure he didn’t mind the kiss from a pretty girl, especially if it was you,” said JJ.
“What do you mean, especially if it was me?” you asked, and JJ looked like she didn’t mean to say that.
“Ugh, okay I shouldn’t be telling you this, but I have a feeling Spence is crushing on you,” JJ told you, your mouth was agape. 
“Y/N how could he not! You’re gorg, talented, and a damsel in distress! I mean you're a strong independent woman who doesn’t need a man, but guys go nuts for that savior stuff,” Garcia explained and you laughed.
“I guess that's good,” you said, your smile faltering slightly. “It’s not like we can really do anything about it, though. I mean, wouldn’t he get in trouble or something?” you asked.
“Maybe, but we’re always rooting for his happiness, and you might be it. We wouldn’t want to get in the way of that,” JJ said, sweetly. You had to take a minute to process this. Once you had, you decided to move on to the background checks, forgoing the gossip for now. 
-
The background checks had taken a couple hours, especially because of the occasional gossip break, but everyone you mentioned seemed to be clean. Exhausted, you found an empty desk and curled up onto the chair, resting your head in your arms on the desk. You were drifting off to sleep, almost unconscious when you felt the warmth of a sweater on your back and a kiss on your head.
-
taglist: @mcntsee, @diesinspanishbcimhispanic, @chickens-are-life, @rexorangecouny, @ceeellewrites​
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riphinx · 3 years
Note
HI ZEV IM BACK I’m gonna make it my weekly task to check in on you bc!! youre cool n youre one of my favorite blogs and I’m scared to reach out off anon :’) unless you don’t want me to that’s perfectly fine <3 glad to hear u got to do somethin!! I’m not that much of a cook but my moms probably gonna force me to learn from her soon enough CNEJDHW as for my blog I originally planned a messy web kinda aesthetic but then I changed it to a soft pastel pink/foodie aesthetic and I like it much more so I plan to do that! I’ve been having such tendou brainrot also... I wanna kiss him so bad and rereading your posts that have him make me so happy!!!!! Enough abt that though LOL how’s the week starting for you?? and who are your haikyuu crushes and what made you attracted to them? tendous personality and goofy design appeals to me sm. make sure to take care!!! drink plenty of water and remember that you’re loved and cared for!! — 🧊
hii my precious/dazzling/beautiful 🧊 anon 🥺!!
before i even respond, i got VERY carried away and this response is LONG..please don’t feel any pressure to read it all!
firstly...i don’t think you understand how much i appreciate you!! please please always feel free to talk to me about anything— good or bad days! and no pressure at all~ i’ll be here! i would never want you feeling stressed about talking to me omg
& YES totally!! i was only able to make instant ramen until early 2020, but i’m sure you’ll do just fine! i’m not excellent either— but that’s why we write about osamu right?? we can always imagine his cooking instead <33
your taste in themes...is so good!! they sound so pretty omg? pink themes are so soft and just .... comfy ☺️ i can just imagine how cute your blog would be oh my gosh ? hope it all turns out well!
my week has been okay so far! i should probably work on some assignments after this.. are you doing okay too? i hope you have an amazing week 💕
now...you’re getting me started...on my favorite character? you would actually be the very person to ASK me to talk about tendou!! i bring up his name once and everyone around me is already annoyed ah😭
this is the long part....i apologize in advance— you don’t have to read it! in short, i like tendou the most because i feel like he’s a very understanding person who you can feel comfortable with! if i had to choose several, i also really like osamu, kita, and matsukawa 🥺 osamu just seems so COZY and nice to cuddle next to, kita is the perfect guy to wake up with— imagine making breakfast with him!! & matsukawa is also really relaxing to me— i wanna rant to him..
FOR TENDOU...this is your last warning!
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when i first watched haikyuu, i felt so bad oh my gosh...his backstory with the mean classmates? i was really angry, and i just wanted to be his friend 🥺 i think it would’ve been crazy to be childhood friends with someone like tendou, imagine hanging out at lunch together? playing slide and sticks?? he seems like an awesome person to binge shows with too!
anyways, it was in S4 when he became my fav! do you remember when hinata was feeling regretful for barging into camp? i thought it was so sweet when tendou was trying to ask him what happened, but hinata was interrupted right? tendou waited until his practice match ended, and then asked hinata “so why aren’t you playing?”
it’s probably a stretch— but gosh that made me teary 🥺 you know when you’re interrupted during a sentence, and no one bothers listening? it’s like your words don’t even matter?
the fact that he waited through that entire match and didn’t forget to finish asking what happened to hinata made me 💕❤️💕❤️ it was so sweet!! not to mention the “we have places for him to sleep right?”
gosh...
and that time when goshiki was crying, the way he treats goshiki in general...he’s so sweet and supportive i’m just :((
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if we’re talking about physical appearance, do i even need to explain?? look at his pretty hands, his pretty face..
THE WAY HE SITS
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okay!! i think i’m gonna stop myself there — he’s just such a perfect comfort character ughh🥺
thanks for checking up on me!! i hope you’re doing well too :’) this was so sweet...i kinda got carried away though ahaha
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marvels-writings · 4 years
Note
Okay so I wanna request something for carol x reader but I know u write a lot for that pairing so I don’t want to pressure you into writing more. Basically if u don’t wanna do this I totally get it. The request is basically carol and the reader being put in situations by the avengers that have them in extremely close proximity, that leaves them flustered cuz they’re both crushing hard on each other. You choose the context of the situations I love your work so much
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A/N: Jesus you made me flustered anon, anyway i did like a few different scenarios, then the last one they finally kissed after all the tension. And i wasn’t sure what gender to make it so since im female, i wrote female pov, im so sorry if you wanted male pov.. (also i feel like such a dork sitting on my bed in a sweater and sweatpants typing for a tumblr blog, shhh don’t tell anyone i’m an actual dork irl)
“Shit,” You muttered, quickly putting back the dress you were planning to try on in the changing room. 
You wore your favorite sweatshirt and high waisted black leggings over a dark colored fav/color t shirt and had your hair into a high ponytail with strands coming out of the sides to frame your face. Carol wore her signature leather jacket, a black tank top with thick straps and black smokey jeans. The tank top was a bit tighter than usual, she had her medium length hair down and was constantly pushing it back from her face. 
You and Carol had decided to go shopping together for fun, but somehow, someone you absolutely hated, your ex, managed to show up at the same mall. In the same shop, and currently in the same changing room.  
“What happened?” Carol asked worriedly, putting back the dress she was about to make fun of. 
“HIDE!” You practically shouted, pushing her into the nearest empty changing room in an attempt to escape. 
Once inside the changing stall, which was a bit too tiny for one person, let alone two, you quickly closed the door. You backed up against the door, leaning your body against it, letting out a breath of relief. 
Until you noticed how close you were to Carol. The two of you were practically pushed up against each other in the small changing room, Carol was more confused than ever, you were more flustered than ever. 
You’d be lying if you said you only thought of Carol as a friend, you didn’t know she felt the same. 
“Care to explain?” Carol asked, a light blush covering her face as she tried to back up to cross her arms, then finding there wasn’t enough room. There was barely a few inches between your bodies, not nearly enough for Carol to cross her arms without touching you. 
“Basically someone I really,” You paused to take in a breath and to stop how flustered you were getting. “Really don’t like just came into the same changing room and I don’t want to deal with them.” You debated whether to open the door or not, deciding to wait for a few minutes. 
“Let me guess, your ex?” She asked, keeping her voice softer as not to attract the attention of whoever you were trying to avoid. 
“Yep, we ended on really bad terms,” You answered, then added. “Mainly because I wanted to become an Avenger and she didn’t want me to become one, she stormed out.”“And you let her?” Carol questioned, raising an eyebrow. You bobbed your head from side to side, debating an answer. 
“Can’t really date someone who wants to control your life.” You commented, then decided to avoid the conversation entirely and get out of here. “I think she’s gone.” you said, after you didn’t hear any footsteps. 
The two of you got out without further incident, just a few questions about your previous relationship from Carol. If only the changing room had been a bit bigger you could stop blushing. 
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
“Really Natasha?” You asked, raising an eyebrow at the unbelievable small room. 
You were on a mission with Carol, Natasha and Clint. Clint and Nat decided to share a room, mainly to try to get you with Carol, but they claimed to know each other better than you. Forcing you to share a room with Carol. 
Somehow, they got the amazing room with two double beds and a kitchen with a working microwave. And you and Carol got the tiniest room in the motel, with the TV right in front of the only single bed, a closet next to it and a table and a small kitchen right next to that. 
“It was the only room they had.” Natasha defended, taking her things into her room. Clint walked in behind her, winking at you before closing the door. 
“Let’s just deal with it.” Carol stated, heading into the impossibly small room and throwing her duffel bag on the bed before flopping down, her t shirt riding up above her high waisted jeans slightly. 
You sighed and headed in as well, trying to avoid looking at the now exposed skin. You wore a simple sweatshirt, jeans and a t shirt under it. You pulled your sweatshirt off over your head and threw it at Carol for fun, after you saw her eyes flick away from you. 
“What was that for?” She joked, picking the sweatshirt off of her face. 
“For hogging the whole bed,” You commented, pushing her duffel bag to the side of your bed, then putting your bag next to it. “Scoot.”
Carol scooted over on the single bed, she was now on the edge but there still wasn’t enough room for you to sit without touching her or falling off. You sat in the middle of both, your body barely touching hers and your leg almost falling off the bed. 
“I don’t bite you know.” She commented, slightly offended at the way you were keeping your distance as she grabbed the remote for the TV. 
You grumbled something before scooting over into her side, your arm touching hers lightly, you crossed your ankles on top of each other, your thigh brushing against Carol’s. 
This was going to be a long trip. 
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
You’d fallen asleep in your jeans while watching TV, your head leaning on Carol’s shoulder. Carol had fallen asleep as well, her arm wrapped around your shoulders and her head leaning on top of yours. 
You awoke with a start, when some scream from a horror movie came on, causing Carol’s head to drop. She looked at you with an angry pout, causing you to laugh. You glanced at the alarm clock and saw it was well past 11. 
“We should probably get to sleep.” You said, stretching your arms and yawning loudly, you didn’t notice Carol watching you before switching off the TV. 
“Yeah, I’m going to the bathroom.” She said before getting up and going into the tiny bathroom. 
You watched her go, before deciding you couldn’t sleep in jeans and needed to change for bed. You leaned off the bed, grabbing some sweatpants and an oversized sweatshirt and a t shirt for sleeping. 
Deciding it was a better idea to just change here than to wait for Carol to come out of the bathroom, you quickly changed into your sweatpants. As you pulled your sweatshirt over your head, you didn’t hear the flush or the sound of the bathroom door opening before taking off your t shirt as well. 
“I didn’t know I was at a strip club.” Carol commented, before quickly turning around so you could change. 
Your eyes widened in shock as you turned around, in nothing but sweatpants and a bra. Carol was still turned around, staring at the plain wall.
Quickly putting your shirt on, now with a prominent blush on your face, you tried to stutter out a reply. You heard her chuckle slightly and cleared your throat.
“I was changing, I’m gonna use the bathroom.” You stated, heading in the bathroom and closing the door with a slam. You heard her laugh from the other side.
When you came out, she had also changed into black sweatpants and a comfy looking oversized army green sweatshirt. Carol was lying down on the bed. Arms folded beneath her head on the pillow as she hogged the entire bed.
“Should I just build a blanket fort on the floor or…?” You asked with a smirk on your face as you closed the bathroom door behind you.
“This is literally the only blanket.” Carol stated, picking up the flimsy blanket between her forefinger and her thumb without looking at you.
“I’m assuming room service won’t be working overtime.” You commented, putting your used clothes back in your bag as carol scooted over.
“They definitely won’t be working overtime to build you a blanket fort.” She commented, you laughed and sat down beside her.
“Well I’m sleeping, on this tiny bed.” She said, yawning then lying down facing with her back to you. “If you fall off it’s not my fault.” 
You laughed, then lay down beside her, facing the ceiling, one arm behind your head. You lay there for a few minutes, just thinking. Carols breathing evened out after a few minutes, indicating she was asleep. 
You smiled slightly at how comfortable she was around you. Honestly, you were terrified if you said anything, you’d lose the friendship you had with her.
Still lost in thought, you started to fall asleep, turning away from carol and pulling the blanket closer. 
Just before you fell asleep, you felt Carol turn around and wrap one arm around your waist, still fast asleep. Making it even harder to fall asleep, on this mission, the only thing you learnt was how to fall asleep while being impossible flustered.
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
In the morning, you woke up with your hand in carols hair, both of her arms wrapped around your waist. Your bodies too close for either of you to not be flustered. Her face was snuggled into the crook of your neck.
“Wow, I’ve got to say that’s not what I expected.” Clint remarked, leaning his arm against the doorway, in complete gear for the mission.
“What?” You asked groggily, half awake as you turned to see him and natasha in the doorway, nat had her eyebrow raised in surprise.
You frowned before turning back into the pillow, then you realized how close you were to Carol. Your hand was still in her hair, she was about to wake up.
Bad reflexes caused you to panic and scramble away, falling off the bed as a result. Carol had little to no idea how she’d woken up, but a loud thud contributed to it as well as laughter.
Confused, she looked around and leaned off your side of the bed to find you angrily glaring at Nat and Clint on the ground.
“Comfy down there?” She asked groggily, still having no idea what just happened. You tried your best to glare at her through your blush, failing miserably.
“If you two are done,” Nat began, smirking at the two of you in full spy gear. “We need to get a mission done.”
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
The mission itself was going really well, everyone had gotten the intel out, you and Carol had somehow injured yourself. You had a terribly twisted ankle and Carol had a large gash from where a knife had cut her.
Currently, you were both in the med bay, you’d come back to the compound after the mission. Dr. Cho had finished attending to the two of you and left, you and Carol had stayed, talking about the mission and didn’t really notice the time fly by. Now, it was 10:30, and for some reason, the lab doors were locked. 
“Damnit.” You cursed, finally giving up on trying to pry open the doors. 
“It’s fine, Cho would find us in the morning.” Carol comforted, sitting on one of the beds. 
“True,” you said, sitting down next to her, letting your feet dangle below you. “There’s worse people to be stuck with in a med bay.” You commented. 
“I’m honored?” Carol joked, turning to face you. 
You laughed, then looked at her, tilting your head to the side slightly as you observed something. 
“What?” She asked, mirroring your action. 
“I never really noticed how pretty your eyes are.” You stated simply, Carol’s eyes widened at the sudden compliment and looked at the ground. 
“Um, thanks.” She said, now flustered as she stared intently at the ground. 
“Carol,” You said, she looked up at you. “Can I, can we talk about something?” You asked.
“I mean there’s not much else to do,” Carol commented, you smiled slightly despite the anxiety building up in your chest. “So sure.”“Look I know you’re my best friend and everything,” You began, running a hand through your hair as you looked anywhere but Carol. “But I’m getting feelings for you, not just like those normal i-want-to-kill-my-best-friend-feelings,” 
Carol laughed slightly at that, despite the blush starting to spread across her face. You continued to stressfuly ramble as you tried to explain your feelings for her, ignoring the small loving smile on her face. 
Your rambling was suddenly cut off by a pair of lips on yours, Carol’s lips on yours. Your eyes widened in shock. Nervous at your response, Carol started to pull away but you quickly pulled her back, relishing in the moment. 
Her hands came up to cup your face, one of your hands was in her hair, both pulling each other into the kiss. It was basically all the tension from, well, everything, released at once. 
The kiss was more than either of you had imagined, but both of you needed air. Finally pulling away, breathless and flustered, you couldn’t help but smirk and comment on it. 
“I guess there are worse people to be stuck with in a med bay.” Carol laughed, happier than ever. 
A/N: feedback is amazing but i just realized, I WENT SO OVERBOARD WITH THIS REQUEST I’M SO SORRY IT’S SO LONG.
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toutorii · 4 years
Note
hello again! i'm the anon that asked for that RobTiki prompt. sorry to ask for another, you did so well last time! would you write something cute involving Tiki wearing Robin's coat? set before they S supported?
Thank you so much for @pholadis for requesting
Okay, so I assume this means before they get married? So they’re gonna be dating, even though nobody dates in this games it’s just “Hey, *insert awkward convo*” “Uh, *insert awkward response” “I love you” “LET’S GET MARRIED” and then wooptidoo a wild child appears. BUT, imma gonna try and make them a fluffy couple. So if you meant for them to be friends, I’m really sorry! And you can tell me and I can whip up another one-shot for you! Also, ngl, but RobTiki is starting to grow on me. I mean, RobAnna will always be my fav, but RobTiki is starting to make a place in my heart.
Also, it didn’t take me 8 years of playing Awakening to finally get Tiki cause I kept accidentally letting her die in her paralogue
 Warnings: Mild Language, Fluff, and my unedited garbage writing
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“Where the hell did my coat go?” Yillise’s tactician thought to himself, going through everything trying to find his beloved coat. He had been searching for hours and unknowingly making his best friend worry.
“Robin?” Chrom said, startling the white-haired man.
“Gya!” Robin jumped, knocking over the absurdly large stack of papers next to him. Chrom sweatdropped, rushing to help his friend.
“Apologies, I didn’t mean to scare you.” The bluenette said.
“It’s nothing, but I do have a question. Have you seen my cloak?”
This question took Chrom by surprise, “All this fuss over a cloak?”
“Uh, no. I can’t say that I have. In fact, this is probably one of the first times I’ve seen you without it outside of training.”
Robin scowled, ”I don't wear it that often.” Chrom just gave him a look saying, ”seriously?” the tactician sighed, going off to try and find his girlfriend, Tiki. When he stepped out of the tent, a chill immediately wrapped around him, making him shake without his coat to protect him. He worried about his Manakete lover, knowing that she doesn't do well with the cold. 
Walking to a tree near the base to collect his thoughts, he found her. And Robin nearly died from the sight. 
Tiki, his beloved Tiki, was wrapped up in his cloak, and in a fetal position, fast asleep. His heart felt like it could burst at any moment because of how adorable the sight was. He chuckled and sat next to the sleeping manakete, moving her to where she was laying on his lap. He played with her soft green hair, careful not to wake her. But even with his careful hands, she awoke anyway. 
”Morning sleeping beauty.” he chuckled softly. Soaking in the beauty that was Tiki. 
”Robin, apologies. I should have asked for your cloak before I borrowed it. I pray you can forgive me.” she said, still resting her head on Robin’s lap.
”Its perfectly okay, I was just worried I lost it or something” He replied, reaching down to plant a kiss on her forehead. 
”You missed, ” She said casually. Robin choked on his spit, trying to make up possible other meanings for her words. Not that he didn't mind kissing her, in fact, he would love to. But it was still something he’d never done before. 
”I- uh- pardon?” he spluttered.
”I said, ”you missed” she repeated with a small smirk on her face. 
”Uh, well, I- I didn't know you could be so forward, ” he said, trying to grasp at what little composure he had left. 
”You didn't know me when I was younger, love, ” she giggled. That damned giggle. 
”Well, I guess that's true. But are you sure? I mean it's just, I've never done this before, and I really don't want to be a dissapoi-mph” his rant was cut off by Tiki’s hands, covered by the oversized sleeves. 
“Don’t take this the wrong way, love, but you need to talk less.” Tiki giggled. She moved her hands down and replaced them with her lips. Robin’s eyes widened, not knowing what to do, so the poor thing just sat there. Tiki soon pulled away, not making the kiss absurdly long. Both of them were as red as tomatoes. Robin was still in shock, not knowing what to say. Tiki just laughed and asked, “are you okay? Did I do it wrong? Oh no, you hate me now don’t you? I’m so sorry! I-“ the manakete was cut off by a deep chuckle. 
“I- no- it’s just, I’ve never been kissed before, and I’m still trying to decipher what the hell just happened.”
“Such eloquence”
“Hey! I’m just a little shocked that’s all. I mean, I’m not really that experienced in the area….”
Tiki cupped his face with her hand, staring into his eyes. They stayed like that for a good while, just getting lost in each other’s eyes. They stayed in a comfortable silence. Just enjoying each other’s company. That was until-
“Robin? Where are yo- oh.” Chrom started, accidentally walking in on an intimate moment between the two. The Manakete and the tactician just stared at the bluenette who just cleared his throat and said something along the lines of  “uh, sorry, I’ll talk to you later”.
Tiki and Robin looked back at eachother before bursting out in fits of laughter.
“You- you would think, that he wouldn’t be flustered by seeing two people holding each other. considering he’s married and has a child.” Robin said after calming down. 
Tiki hit him saying, “Be nice, he’s your captain, and your best friend.” 
“True, but let’s focus on that kiss we just had.”
“Oh? Who knew you could be so forward, Mr. Tactician?”
Robin’s face erupted in a blush, he sputtered out, “W-well, I-I uh, well, I um, m-” His stuttering was cut off by Tiki’s laughter.
“Pftttt you should have seen your face! It was like blehh” Tiki tried to mimic Robin’s face, failing miserably, but getting a chuckle out of Robin anyways. They fell into another comfortable silence.
“Hey, Tiki?”
“Yes Robin?”
“You make me happy, you know that right?” the manakete giggled at Robin’s question.
“Of course I know, you also make me very happy, Robin. But we should probably get headed back to the camp.” She said, while standing up. Robin’s breath hitched at the sight of Tiki in his cloak. Her green hair was in a messy ponytail, and the cloak made her look smaller than she already was. Tiki noticed Robin staring at her with a faint blush across his face. She giggled, making Robin blush even more. She started to take of the oversized coat, before Robin stopped her.
“No, you can keep it for today.”
“Okay, thank you love.”
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OKAY, SO. For the past two and a half weeks-ish, life has been crazy 😂😂. But I am so sorry to @pholadis for having this come out so late. And honestly I’m not so happy about the result….and im also very sorry for how short this is... But I hope that you enjoyed, it was really fun to write!
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loveseungs · 6 years
Text
stray kids reacting to you kissing their jaw
goodness i died at these but this one’s for you, @ anon who requested this
➻ chan - “are we still on for tonight?” - chan saw his phone light up in the corner of his eyes and his heart clenched. it was 6pm and he was nowhere close to finished with the newest song. - after finishing a phrase, he pulled his phone and called you - ring... ring... - “chan?” - “hey, love...i’m calling to tell you that i don’t know when this song’ll be finished. i’m so upset. can i book you first thing in the morning? are you busy?” - a hint of disappointment was evident in your voice. “are you sure you’re not busy in the morning?” - he jumped a little in his seat. “this is so unfair to you, i am so going to make this up to you. 8am good?” - “good night, channie.” - beep - chan frustratedly ran his hands through his fingers, typing away. if only he could do everything at the same time, he would. - his thoughts raced from you to chords to disappointing you to a sick new melody as he worked on the riff of the newest stray kids song - but the thought of being unable to push through with the plans he promised made him feel so terrible - reaching out for his phone once more, chan thought of telling you he was dropping by tonight with food and your favorite movies - you didn’t let him. within seconds, you burst into the studio - “what are you—“ - “here. if you’re going to skip out on date night, you better make the skip worth it,” you huffed, placing a cup of coffee and a box of takeout on his table. - shocked? he was FLABBERGASTED - “but i—“ - you shut him up with a kiss on his jaw, roughly touching your lips right there for a second. “would you just finish up now? you need to sleep soon, so you don’t look like a zombie when you meet me in the morning.” - chan fought the urge to explode in ecstasy. - “you light up my life.”
➻ woojin - you had a rough day - by rough day i mean rough week - you were just so angry at everything and irritated and - ugh. you were so tired - so exhausted. if you could sleep and wake up in a different place in life, you’d gladly take the offer - but that wasn’t (unfortunately) how life worked and the next best thing to do was to call kim woojin - you call, he delivers - within a flash he’s at your doorstep, a plastic filled with food in one hand and a big teddy bear on the other - Thank Everything For Kim Woojin - he quickly wrapped you up in blankets and cooked your fav instant noodles - “okay, so i brought my teddy bear but listen. you’re borrowing, okay? no one knows i have this. you can’t let anyone know, and you gotta be really careful,” he instructs, handing you the big plushie - What did you do to deserve this soft man - He made his way behind you and slinked his arms around your waist as you hugged his prized possession - Enveloped in a comfortable silence, you decided to look at Woojin just for a bit - WRONG CHOICE - he looked down at you with such gentle eyes and you just. you kissed him. right there on his left jaw, allowing your lips to linger for a second longer than necessary - his grin??? almost as big as the teddy bear - actually you couldn’t tell the difference between the man cuddling you and the bear you were cuddling - “you should do that more,” woojin comments nonchalantly, even if you feel the erratic drumming of his heart beating a million miles per minute against your back. - with a twinkle in your eyes, you answered, “i should.”
➻ minho - minho’d be doing something silently, like playing on his phone or eating a snack - then you decide to peck him right there on his jaw - he becomes so smug about it - he gives you that MinhoTM smirk and leans in close - “you wanna kiss me elsewhere, too??” - THE TABLES HAVE TABLED U JUST WANTED TO SMOOCH UR BOY BUT HE HAD TO BE SO HECKN EXTRA - lee minho wants to play THAT game?! FINE - you held his chin and tilted it towards you - holy heck where’d that confidence come from - “the question is, minho, do you want me to kiss you elsewhere?” - all smugness has been lifted. lee know does not know what comes next - he is melting.
➻ changbin - u asked changbin to sing for you because u rlly, rlly like his singing voice - so, despite his embarrassment, he sang a lil’ something - his voice was like honey n u could not help but be entranced - so u kissed him gently on his jaw - his jAW, WHICH BY THE WAY IS SO SHARP IT COULD CUT YOU IM SURPRISED UR LIPS AINT BLEEDING READER - he yelpED A LITTLE READER UR TOO SHOCKING - “AISH!!” he shouts, looking at you with pink ears “DONT DO THAT!!” - he attempted to hide under the protection of his cap, but u caught him stealing glances at you - you giggle a little because you were so soft for this soft boy
➻ hyunjin - hyunjin’s such a hardworking boy and he was doing the thing where he practiced rapping with a pen in his mouth - you were working quietly beside him as he continuously practiced - then he decided to practice his vocal part, too - HOLY MCHECK u were not ready when his sweet voice danced to the melody of skz’s new song - his voice has significantly improved and it sounded so smooth - he looked like an absolute angel, and you really could not tear your eyes away from him - so u kissed him on the jaw, a subtle yet cute place to kiss him - A GOOFY SMILE MADE IT ON HIS FACE and as soon as he finished his part, he stopped the music and turned to you. hyunjin peppered your face with soft kisses with his soft lips
➻ jisung - yknow whats fun - goofing around with ya boi j.one - so when han jisung asks u to go on a park date u agree - when you saw him waiting on a bench, you waved and approached him with a smile - HE LOOKED SO GOOD - he was wearing a trench coat and a rlly nice shirt bc korea’s cold like that - so anyway u two started on your slow walk around - you guys talked about so many things! updating each other, talking about the rest of skz, music production for him, your work and home life, etc etc - then u saw a pile of leaves and holy mcheck u! were gonna Do ItTM - u let go of jisung’s hand and jumped really high - rustle rustle~ - THE CRINKLING OF THE LEAVES MADE U SO HAPPY - you called jisung over to join you and he did. in a few seconds u guys were kids again, jumping in piles of leaves - his smile was like sunshine - that’s when u pulled him close and pecked him real quick. on his jaw, too! - HE YELPED A LITTLE AND FOR ONCE, THIS LOUD AND SILLY BOY WAS SILENCED - you giggled and watched him try to process what had just happened but really he was frozen
➻ felix - y’all were chillin in at your place in the evening - it was a slow and laid-back night - but even so, you and felix very much enjoyed each other’s company - “i’m kinda hungry,” felix said, looking up from his phone and into your eyes - you reciprocated his gaze and asked, “well, what do you wanna eat?” - “is it weird? i want cheese, crackers, and wine” - you laughed. “we’re not even allowed to drink that, are we?” - felix pouted. “yeah but like, maybe a small sip? i just really think it goes well with the whole cheese and crackers thing.” - you gave into that terrible pout, and i say terrible because u practically died @ it. - when u returned w/ felix’s strange request, there was some calm music playing on the speaker - after taking a bit of his cracker and sipping a swig of wine, he looked at you again. this time, he stood up - “dance with me?” - wow that was cheesy felix lee but u cannot resist him - he led you as you danced around the small living room space, pace steady - his stare was so gentle. you dared to study his face, and you could not help but land a kiss right there on his jaw - felix broke into a very big grin and gave you a little twirl - then, he dipped you and kissed the top of your nose - it was so incredibly cheesy, but you secretly adored it.
➻ seungmin - school was finally over and u were so glad - it had been a long day, but it was coming to an end - you waited for seungmin outside his classroom and when he came out, you waved - you two had a daily routine of walking to the train station together, so you often waited up for each other - not like u had a crush on him too but - you two were casually conversing until u reached the school building’s exit - the sky was darkening and u knew what was up - y’all rushed outside before u got caught in the rain - but then it started drizzling - you didn’t make it past the school gate when it started pouring. luckily, you two were able to run under a shed - “seungmin, please tell me you have an umbrella” - “looks like we’re waiting here” - “seungmin!” you shouted. “i can’t! i have a family event after this.” - “are you kidding?” his eyes widened. - “no!!” you shook your head. - he took off his blazer and draped it over your head. then, he grabbed your wrist and started bolting in the direction of the train station - screw it. you ran as quick as your legs could take you, and you let out an ungodly scream while at it - when you reached the station, breath hitching and your clothes drenched, you both let out a laugh and headed to the platform - while waiting for the train, seungmin felt a tap on his shoulder coming from you and he turned around, only to be kissed softly on his jaw - he felt his cheeks warm up as you shoved the blazer he’d let you borrow back into his hands - “see you tomorrow, seungmin.”
➻ jeongin - jeongin invited u over to jam with him at his house, so u agreed caus music’s The Best !! - hanging w jeongin’s the best - anyway, when u arrived, he greeted u with an ecstatic face and ushered u inside, where it was warmer !! - you two sat in the living room, making urselves comfy - so like, before anything, you two decided to talk about each other - jeongin convinced u to do those friendship tag things u see on the internet where u ask questions and try to answer for the other - after much laughter and playing around, jeongin grabbed a guitar and started to strum a couple of notes - n suddenly your voice found into his, waltzing to the serenade of the guitar - READER BOTH OF UR VOCALS + THE GUITAR = a pOWER DUET - n u were so heckn proud u decided to record it - so, as he shuffled beside you to get close to your phone which had the mic, you noticed that goodness he was really good looking - and you couldn’t really hold back i mean who wouldn’t kiss yang jeongin - so, with utter care and gentleness, you planted a kiss on his jaw, grinning as his ears turned a concerning shade of pink - HE WAS FLUSTERED but he also did not want to be CuteTM at that moment so with all his strength mustered up in him, he looked at you and said: - “Wow, was I really that irresistible?” - YANG JEONGIN STOP WITH UR DUALITY U LOSER - after being unable to come up with a coherent response, he kissed you back on your jaw - “...damn jeongin... my voice is going to shake during the recording... you monster.”
--
thank u for reading i hope u all have a swell day !!
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mintychocolatechip · 5 years
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Chapter 1:Prologue https://mintychocolatechip.tumblr.com/post/185949372750/in-your-eyes-i-see-embers-re-post
Chapter 2
Whispering Connection
Please Leave comments/reviews :3
Dust settles as an old pick up truck skids to a stop in front of a worn trailer home. Out steps a 27 year old Ben Hanscom. The look of exhaustion on his face mirrored the way his body dragged as he made his way through the rusted door. Ben rubs the faded scar on his forehead in hopes of relieving the tension, and with a long sigh, plops down on the small sofa. Looking at his answering machine, Ben sees new messages from the factory he works at. Just the thought of that place made his head ache even more. Playing the first message, he soon heard his co workers voice on the other end.
*BEEP* " Hey Haystack it's Richie, just sayin thanks for covering my shift last week, I promise to pay ya back as soon as I can.*BEEP*
A faint smile made it's way onto Ben's face.
*BEEP* "Hey uh it's mike, where ya been, haven't seen ya 'round since the incident, everything ok? *BEEP* Sighing, Ben turned off the answering machine. That was the last thing he wanted to think about. He started to pace slowly, lost in thought. When he looked up, he found his reflection staring back at him. He couldn't have been dreaming, He knew what he saw. He brings a hand up to his face, briefly grazing the jagged scar on his forehead. He couldn't have been dreaming, 'right?'
At this point Ben's exhaustion was catching up with him, and as he sat atop his bed his eyes began to grow heavy. He knew there was no point in trying to stay awake, so as Ben laid back he slowly but surely drifted off into an uneasy, dreamless sleep.
XXxxXXxxXXxxXX
A pair of jade green eyes gaze intently on the reflecting mirror. Thoroughly searching for any marks, or blemishes on the face they belonged to.
"Bev, hurry up we'll be late!" A voice shouted from another room.
Bev....
Bev....
She hated that nickname.
It reminded her of a time when she had to sneak about her own home, when she was forced to wear extra layers to cover the scars, and bruises. It reminded her of her father, and the constant stench of alcohol that was on him.
"Come on hun, you know how they get when we're late." A tall blonde haired man said as he walked into room, an untied bowtie hanging from his neck. He stops behind Beverly sitting, and looks at her through the mirror.
"Im sure they can wait for the great Tom Rogan to make his appearance." Beverly joked as she straightened out her dress. Tom chuckled softly before gripping Beverly's shoulder with force.
"We seriously need to go bevvie, you don't want a repeat of last time, do you?" The man whispered, causing Beverly to involuntarily shudder.
"No, not at all." Beverly choked out as Tom released her shoulders.
"Good, then i'll be down stairs, don't be long." Once the door closed, Beverly breathed in shakily, letting a single tear escape her eye. Her hand curled into a fist as she cursed.
She was tired of this, tired of being lied to. She was sick and tired of being afraid, helpless. Yet try as she might, she couldn't escape this hellish nightmare that was her life. Beverly takes a moment to compose herself, quickly fixing her make up and dress. For the time being she would simply have to play the part of a complacent housewife.
She walks down the mahogany staircase, bag in hand and prepared to leave. Yet as she reaches the front door she suddenly feels the briefest wave of drowsiness, it washes over her causing Beverly to close her eyes reflexively. However as quickly as it comes it's gone again leaving her with just the slight breeze from the open door.
Her husband pulls around out front, and with that the two are on their way. As the car coasts along the barren highway Beverly recalls the strange feeling she got just before leaving. She reaches a hand to graze the make up covered scar on her forehead as it begins to slightly throb.
XXxxXXxxXXxxXX
It's 11:27 in Santa Fe New Mexico, and against his parole officer's suggestion Ben decides to go out for a drink. He drives to his usual spot "The Lucky 7". It's faded neon sign bringing a slight grin to Ben's face. Walking into the bar, the immediate smell alcohol, and fried food filled the air, it was comforting in a sense.
"Yo Haystack, Didn't think we'd see you here!" Called Richie from the bar. With A drink in his left hand and his right arm wrapped around his boyfriend Eddie, it was safe to say he was enjoying himself.
"Long time no see." Ben replied, taking a seat next to the couple.
"Well aren't you a sight for sore eyes." The Voice spoke, drawing Ben's attention. It was non other that Michael Hanlon, the owner/bar tender for The Lucky 7. Being a regular customer there, Mike, and Ben were long time friends. Just like Richie and Eddie, Mike had looked out for Ben, even after the incident.
"Hey!" Ben said, playfully acting as if he was offended.
"It hasn't been that long." Retorted Ben. Mike chuckled, and poured a small whiskey sliding it down to Ben.
"It's on the house." Mike said with a wink. The two of them had settled into a light conversation, discussing little things such as the state of the bar, and Ben's release.
"And I felt the strangest pain on my fore head-" Ben's words were interrupted by a commotion surrounding one of the pool tables. At the center of it all was Henry Bowers, well known in these parts for his violent drunk tendencies. There he stood clad in his beer stained t-shirt, swinging the pool que in an aggressive manner while shouting. It's likely that he was losing money, and the drinking just spurred his reaction on even more. Ben sighs, getting up from the bar to go play peacemaker.
"Woah woah gentlemen, what seems to be the issue here?" He questions, placing his hands outward to separate the two. Getting closer to the scene Ben notices a Ruger revolver in the back pocket of whoever Henry was harrassing. Some asshole shooting up the place was the last thing they needed.
"This fucker here owes me money!" The armed drunkard exlaimed.
"You won't get a damn thing outta me!" Henry spat back stumbling a bit. The situation was escalating fast, and if Ben didn't do anything there were sure to be cops on the scene.
"Look look, I'll just pay what he owes you." Ben said as he put himself in between them, hopefully diffusing the tension building in the air.
"Really, then you're gonna have to cough up 200 cold ones." Ben sighed in irritation upon hearing the amount. Of course that idiot had to go get himself into some deep debt. Grumbling as he went for his wallet, Ben begrudgingly handed over the money, and with a satisfied whistle, the guy left the bar.
Ben's head hung low, feeling the lightness of the wallet he carried, but if it meant keeping the peace he figured it was worth it. He was almost back to his seat when he heard a sudden shout.
"BEN LOOK OUT!!"
Welp, i'm gonna end it there folks, and don't worry Ben's gonna be okay.....maybe
Anyways as always favs/reviews are much appreciated. Till next time uwu
Kylo Out
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felixthekoala · 6 years
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✧・゚: *✧・゚:*soft bias tag*:・゚✧*:・゚✧
tagged by: @bangchcn and @changbeanie ily guys <333
So, after popular request, I decided to do this for Jeongin, even though he’s technically not my bias, I’m just scared of Felix rn lol.
(Lemme just warn you I kinda got carried away lol)
*♡  。・゚゚・ 1. Who is your bias?
Felix, but I’m doing this for Jeongin!
*♡ 。・゚゚・ 2. What made you notice them?
I’m gonna answer this as what made me first start straying into his lane.  So he’s always been a wrecker of mine because we’re similar and we’re close in age, plus I love his eyes so much and his personality is just so lovable.  Also his singing voice gives me chills.  I just love Jeongin oof.  But he’s really become a huge wrecker for me ever since I went on asc and my friends (who call themselves love detectives XD) were convinced that he had a crush on me, and while I don’t fully believe it bc like that’s impossible esp for me lol, his reactions and stuff were cute and it just made me soft seeing him be so sweet and adorable when interacting with me.  And then I started watching a bunch of videos of him and stuff and I’m even softer for him.  Yeek someone help me.  
*♡ 。・゚゚・ 3. What’s your favorite thing about them?
Oof this is hard.  I really love his eyes, but I think the thing I like most about him is his smiley personality.  his smile is so beautiful and I love the fact that he started smiling more when he was told people were scared of him because he looked intimidating.  I actually can relate to that, because when I was in middle school as well, people thought I was mean because I had rbf.   Also I just love his interactions with the other members, especially Seungmin and he’s such an underrated meme like the faces he makes XD  Also the way he literally freezes when he does aegyo is like the cutest thing ever???  Like what’s not to love about him tbh.  But anyway yeah he’s just such a sweetheart and he’s so precious. 
*♡ 。・゚゚・ 4. Who would initiate skinship more?
honestly, I’m not sure, because we’ve seen him reject the members countless times, but idk if that’s him trying to maintain his savage maknae image or if he really isn’t comfortable with that sort of thing.  I am a koala though, and I even cuddle anything next to me when I’m sleeping, so I’d probably unintentionally initiate skinship constantly, so probs me?  But like I’ve seen him interacting with Felix on vlives and like Felix one time just leaned back on him and was like playing with his knee and Jeongin actually like lowkey put his hand through Felix’s arm and it was really subtle but sweet and adorable so I feel like he might do like really lowkey stuff like that that he might not realize at first?  Like absent-mindedly putting his hand on my arm or elsewhere and stuff like that.  Idk I just feel like he isn’t as afraid of cooties as he seems but he’s still pretty shy.
*♡ 。・゚゚・ 5. Who would hog blankets more?
oof me.  I pull blankets off everyone.  But I can see Jeongin being like one of those grumpy sleepers who fights back so it’d turn into an all-out blanket war with neither of us conscious and we’d wake up with random footprints and bruises on each other XD
*♡ 。・゚゚・ 6. Who would be more clingy?
Probs me tbh, unless he was like really whipped for me, but I feel like this boy would try to seem cool or whatever and be like that subtle clingy type, like pretends he doesn’t care but comes up with excuses for his s/o to stay with him.  Like ya know that typical “you should be near me so you don’t die of hypothermia” kinda thing.
*♡ 。・゚゚・ 7. Who would say ‘I love you’ first?
honestly, probably him because I’d be so scared of being rejected I’d wait for him to say it first, which might take a while lol.  Watch it be like months of us shying away from saying it but talking about it 
*♡ 。・゚゚・  8. Who would be more easily flustered?
Jeongin is a shy floof, so probs him, but like that boy makes my heart race so idk we might be equal...  Like we’d take turns making each other flustered.
“Hey Cait”
“hehe hey Jeongin”
“Hehe u look nice today”
“Hehe u look even better”
*both faces red as tomatoes*
*♡ 。・゚゚・ 9. What cuddling position would you two have?
I’m the little spoon all the way.  But like couch cuddling (if he’d permit it lol) I’d def just like curl up with my head on his shoulders and his arm around me cuz that’s like my fav position.  When I sleep, like I’ve said before, I am literally a koala, like anyone or anything that is in bed with me (ask my various friends who have shared a bed with me on school trips lol they have some hilarious stories XD) will end up with all of my limbs (arms and legs) wrapped tightly around them and my head tucked into them.  So I feel like Jeongin is just gonna end up getting used to me falling asleep while with him and wrapping my entire body around him.  who knows?  Maybe he’d eventually find it endearing/enjoyable XD.
*♡ 。・゚゚・ 10. Which colours remind you of them and why?
pink, bc both of us really love pink and pink is a soft color just like that soft boy.  Also he said he wants to dye his hair hot pink and I’m actually dyeing my hair rose gold next week so lol we could be the pink 01 liner squad/duo  jkjk idk what im saying lol
*♡ 。・゚゚・ 12. Which season would you like to spend with them?
all of them autumn.  Autumn is my favorite season, and plus it’s the season for cozying up by the fire with my favorite autumn scented candles and hot apple cider and I can bake cookies and pies and stuff.  And autumn is also halloween, so we could wear amazing couple costumes and eat a bunch of candy and watch scary movies together (with me ending up in his lap hiding my face in his chest bc I’m the jumpiest person ever).  It’s also the time my family tends to go to Disneyland, so I could go there with him over Thanksgiving while the festival of holidays is going on so we can go on all the special revamped rides and eat a bunch of the special foods and enjoy the ambiance and take a million cute couple photos at different parts of the park and go on California screamin and the Guardians ride a million times and take adorable photos on them as well.  Oof I’m sorry I could go on about all the Autumn things I’d kill to do with Jeongin omg
*♡ 。・゚゚・ 13. Who would bake the cookies and who would steal the batter?
I’d bake and he’d steal the batter, but I’d def take a bunch too.  Tbh, it’d end up a full-out batter battle with more batter on our faces/in our hair than in the bowls.  Then we’d just go out for ice cream XD
*♡ 。・゚゚・ 14. Which one of you would make bad puns and how would the other react?
I’d make the bad puns and he’d half judge me half laugh shyly bc he thought it was cute?  (this is hypothetical, if he liked me lol just gotta remind y’all i don’t actually think Jeongin thinks I’m cute XD)  
*♡ 。・゚゚・ 15. Who would want to adopt 50 dogs and cats?
BOTH OF US  I already have 3 dogs and 2 cats and I’m sure Jeongin would love all of them, but he’d also want one that was like ours so he’d probs get at least another puppy and name it some cute name that’s like an inside joke or something that only we would get.  Or tbh he’d name it a marvel name like Loki bc we’re both geeks like that XD  (one of my cats’ full name is Loki’s Bolt of Chaos, so...)
*♡ 。・゚゚・ 16. Which one of you would nearly burn down the kitchen try to microwave a pop tart and who would come to the rescue?
I’d def burn down the kitchen, I’ve already burned myself countless times and set myself and my school’s chem lab on fire...  and Jeongin would come in a panic and try to stop the fire but he’d be clueless how to stop it and end up having to call Chan to help.  Cut to twenty minutes later after all the boys were dragged out of bed by the commotion, glaring at me and Jeongin while Chan lectured us about the dangers of trying to make a snack at 3am while half asleep.
*♡ 。・゚゚・ 17. Who likes to lean over tall railings and who pulls them back?
He’d lean over and I’d pull him back because one of the major fears I have is losing things I love over a railing/bridge (ahem my phone, I always have a hulk-like grip on it when on bridges and the like) so I’d be terrified he would fall off and if he didn’t go down immediately I’d probably have a panic attack and end up crying bc like I said that’s like one of my biggest fears and I couldn’t afford to lose him.  Obvs my crying would make him immediately jump down and see what was wrong.  And after that I’d hold his hand tight and make sure he didn’t get within 3 feet of a railing.
*♡ 。・゚゚・ 18. What would watching a horror film with them be like?
I feel like we’d both be pretty terrified (tho I’d def be more terrified cuz I’m the jumpiest person ever), and Jeongin would try to seem cool but inside he’d end up being too scared to go to sleep that night and we would just end up staying up and talking and watching comedies and stuff.  Maybe he’d find it cute when I squeaked and jumped during the horror movie??  Idk lol
*♡ 。・゚゚・ 19. Who would be the cheesy flirt and who would be the smooth flirt?
I feel like both of us would be the shy flirt.  Like Jeongin is a shy floof and I just spazz out when trying to flirt, so I wouldn’t actually be able to flirt with him until I was more confident with our relationship.  Like I’m okay flirting around people I’m not crazy about, but with Jeongin I’d be super shy and end up tripping over a trashcan and falling on top of it as a result of me trying to look cool in front of him.  (funny story that actually happened to me.  The guy definitely noticed me lol.  And talked to me.  Literally just to ask me if I was okay bc he saw the whole thing including me walking into two walls right before then... yea... and that’s def not the only time I’ve embarrassed myself and spazzed out in front of my crushes...)
*♡ 。・゚゚・ 20. Who is more competitve?
Probs me.  But when I like someone I either turn like extremely competitive to look good in front of them or whatever or I do the exact opposite and let them win bc I don’t want them to feel bad or be annoyed by me.  But with Jeongin I can totally see myself getting super competitive with him while baking cookies or something and we like turn it into a contest to see who can make the best cookies and then he tries to sabotage my batter and I try to retaliate and it ends with both of us on the floor covered in flour and chocolate
*♡ 。・゚゚・ 21. Who would have to be given constant reminders? (Remember to eat, don’t forget to your keys, etc)
Probably Jeongin, like I’d take care of him whenever and obvs I’d be constantly worried about him, but I feel like he’d nag me for being awake/on my phone at 4:00am and I’m very forgetful and all that lol.  I can see him trying to seem all judgey or savage ahem fact attack Jeongin u guys like “tf are you doing up, we both know you need that beauty sleep” but after a few months of me panicking and thinking he actually meant exactly what he said, I’d realize that’s just Jeongin’s way of showing he cares so I’d start sassing him back and wow I just turned this into a rant/me just droning on about texting Jeongin someone help me
*♡ 。・゚゚・ 22. Who sends memes and who sends cute ‘I miss you’ texts at 3am?
I’d def send memes and tbh he would too lol, but if either of us sent like a sweet serious text (esp him), we’d reply with a lovely wholesome meme (esp me).  But tbh once I got comfortable around him (cuz I’d be shy af at first), I’d def just send him a million sweet messages, although tbh I’d more likely call him 24/7 bc I miss him and I’d say it to him over the phone as opposed to through message.
tagging: @doublekn0t  (I made this extra long and detailed just for you def not bc I got carried away in my love for Jeongin heh)  @realstraykids @maaatryoshka @kpop-stole-my-lyfe @minhomygod @straycuties @bangchanmix @bangchant @bangchcn @meatmeinthemiddle-mark @strgaykids @himeaegyo @hey-hey-chan @jiisung @xxstraykids @s0ftminho @busanjeongin@awoojinstan @bangchanstic
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franeridart · 6 years
Note
Happy 1000th post to one off my absolute favorite artists on Tumblr!
This is it!!! The 1k post on this blog!!! It’s me finally getting my ass into gear and answering the asks in my inbox!!! As good charm in hope of not waiting so long from now on hahaha thank you so so much, by the way!!!! :D
Anon said:LITERALLY YOUR TODOROKI IS THE BEST THING IN THIS CRUEL WORLD I LIVE THE WAY U DRAW HIM IM EMOTIONAL HHECK ALSO ALL THE REST OF UR ART IS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOD ITS SO NICE UR CHARACTERS ARE LIKE VERY LONG NOODLES THEYRE GOOD™
THANK YOU FOR EVERY KIND WORD AND ESPECIALLY ABOUT THE TODOROKI ONES HOLY SMOKES!!! I don’t draw him much sadly but he’s super fun and comfortable to draw for me, it’s nice to know he also comes out well!!!
Anon said:So like,,, I really miss your bokuroo ;^; Will you ever post with them again???
I haven’t taken a vow that forces me to never draw them again, so, possibly! At the moment posting for the haikyuu fandom is giving me more sad feelings than anything else though, so I can’t promise that’s gonna be any time soon, I’m sorry 
Anon said:bruhh i listened to that chiodos song under ur halo, and that one by memphis may fire that was w that bakugo art that was called not enough and uhhhhh ur music taste is dope care to share some more songs?
SURE I’m glad you liked those! Everything by Memphis is A+ and I love it so if you haven’t you should check out more stuff by them ( No Ordinary Love is super nice, That’s Just Life is very dear to me and so is Divinity, Speechless is… my otp song for every otp ever tbh) -  Bring Me The Horizon is my fav post-hardcore band and both MMF and Chiodos are that genre so if you don’t know them give them a try! (Blasphemy, Run and Doomed are between my faves out of the latest album, and since you liked Under Your Halo you’re probably gonna like Follow You too) the album right before is amazing too if you’re okay with less melodic stuff, but the further back you go with BMtH the harder to listen to they get, just a heads up - Sleeping With Sirens are on the softer side of post-hardcore lately, Fly, Left Alone, Trouble, Fire and Empire To Ashes are some great ones, between the many, and, uhhhh, at this point I might have recced Nothing More a hundred times but let’s make it a hundred and one, try Funny Little Creatures, Do You Really Want It and Go To War out of the newest album! If you’re into punk and female voices you should check out Tonight Alive too, Jenna has one of my two fav female voices in rock right now (Crack My Heart and Temple are the latest two songs out!) and since I always rec stuff but I never rec anything by my favorite band ever, you ever heard of Alter Bridge? They’re more towards hard-rock/alternative metal, but check out Blackbird, Fortress, I Know It Hurts, Cradle To The Grave and Broken Wings just to make it one for every album I really, really adore this band and everything they ever made
Anon said:I adore all of your art, especially your bnha art!!! I had so many of your drawings saved to my drafts before I read the manga and was really looking forward to catching up so I could look at them all!! They’re all fantastic
AHHH THANK YOU!!! This made me smile lots, I’m so glad you like them!!!
Anon said:What’s coming up? Fluffy, dorky or angsty? (I’m talking about your next work XD just to be sure) Have a great day my friend!
LMAO this was about this one right? I’m sort of a fool honestly cause as I drew it it… didn’t feel actually all that angsty to me? I mean, obviously it doesn’t come after anything happy, but they’re working things out! Making an effort! Loving each other enough to try and understand each other better!! I drew it as something positive but in hindsight I should have expected the reactions lmao so I honestly dunno, I feel like telling you it’s most probably gonna be something happy but as it seems I angst without even realizing, lately #rip
@not-enough-kaneki​ said:Pass the happy! 💛 When you get this, reply with 5 things that make you happy and send this to the last 10 people in your notifications! 😊
!!!!! my cats!!!! tea and coffee!!! Bakugou and Kirishima and Bakugou-and-Kirishima and the squad!!!! not having an headache!!!!!! the sound of ocean waves and the sun on winter days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! new music I like!!!!!! nice asks and lovely tags under my art!!!! that’s more than five things but a lot of stuff makes me happy tbh !!!
Anon said:one of my favorite parts (i love every bit of it) of the holiday pic you drew of the squad, is they each have their own personal mug. 10/10
I didn’t think you’d be able to notice Mina’s!!! I’m glad it was visible, I thought I had made it disappear into the background hahaha thank you!!!
Anon said:i just went through your entire kiribaku tag and, honestly, gay (also ur art is soooo good and pure and thank u so much for all the content u make for bnha 💖💖)
It is very gay, isn’t it? The other day I was going through my old stuff and I think I might have slowly turned them mushier oh my hahaha I’m glad you like my stuff, by the way!! Thank you so so so so much!!!!!!!!
Anon said:Thank you for sharing the beautiful Bakusquad Christmas! It’s very colorful and warm & it gives me such a comforting feeling! I love looking at all the details! Kami & Sero’s ribbons, everyone’s mugs, the decorations, all so cute! Especially Mina’s bulletin board with the photos, charms of the boys, & the little alien dude (?) Each time I look at it, I see other cute details!! Sorry to bother you, but thanks again for sharing your art with us! I hope you had a very Merry Christmas!!!!!
It’s not a bother at all!!! Thank you so so much for looking at it long enough to notice all those details!!!!
Anon said:You are so good at giving advice omg
I wouldn’t say I’m especially good at it, I just say what was useful to me lol but thank you! It’s a nice thing to be told
Anon said:Dude, your bakusquad drawings are awesome! Keep up the great work!
Thank you!!!!!!!!!!! I’m super glad you like them!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anon said:The new chapter made me think about Bakugou dealing with his squad as babies all over again. Toddlers would probably be worse.
Depends?? Actually??? Like, at least toddlers aren’t gonna steal his gauntlets and tell him he’s lame and punch him just for the hell of it and be a bunch of smartasses and assholes like. Compared to this bunch of baby-Bakugous he has to deal with in the new arc maybe the squad as toddlers would actually be refreshing lol
Anon said:Um I have a very real crush on ila? Can we please know more about her??
I’m ??? so happy you like her!!!!! I don’t wanna say too much about her cause until I draw her in comics I won’t be too sure about who she really is, but she’s!! a pianist, very tall and sorta insecure about her physical appearance, very soft spoken, incredibly gay, scared of sensory deprivation of any kind. Her full name is Ilaria! Dav calls her Aria, which means air in Italian~ they’re pretty good friends, I have a comic about that I’ve been meaning to draw…
Anon said:So, you like KiriBaku with songs, so what do you think of You Had Me At Hello by A Day to Remember? Particularly the lines, “What have I gotten into this time around, I know that I had sworn I’d never trust anyone again, but I didn’t have to. You had me at hello. I’ve never seen a smile that can light a room like yours, it’s simply radiant, I feel more with every day that goes by.”
s o f t…………. ;; also incredibly fitting considering Bakugou decided Kirishima was his new favorite hero the second time he spoke to him, like, god bless I love those two s o m u ch this one I’m listening to it right now and having feelings (is it Baku to Kiri? Kiri to Baku? why not both for double the feels)
Anon said:Hey Fran!! Have you been keeping up with haikyuu? If so what do you think about the Miya twins? (Personally I think they’re pretty okay, they’re funny when they interact with each other. My favorite of the two is Osamu haha)
I don’t mind them! My fav out of Inari is Kita tho, have to admit - that said I have… sort of been ready for this game to be over for months, now………………
Anon said:Okay but imagine….. Kirishima with freckles
I’ve drawn that, now and again!!! the latest one was this one, and another one I remember is this one :D I’ve been liking the idea of him with freckles even more since it’s become official his hair isn’t naturally red? So now and again I add them in, even though they’re usually not much noticeable haha I do so with Bakugou too from time to time, actually… and the rest of the squad… I just… love freckles a lot… haha
Anon said:Love the squad, love the squad kisses.
HECK YES the goal is to draw at least one smooch for every couple sooner or later !!!
Anon said:I hadn’t even realize that I stuck around for a whole year OwO, anyways, congratulations! Your art style has improved much more than you think, especially since you’ve gotten more into coloring ^o^ I noticed that you’ve also been doing more complicated poses too, so, it’s the little stuff that counts ♥️👍 Hope to see more spontaneous art next year, love you Fran!
THANK YOU SO MUCH I love you lots too??? honestly??? This ask means the whole world to me, I really can’t see much improvement after all but knowing you can DOES help a whole damn lot
Anon said:So I came across this fanfic where Uraraka and Todoroki were a thing. I’m personally not a fan of this rare pair, but the whole scenario was the cutest thing ever. Todoroki basically asks Uraraka to help him confess to Midoriya, but in the process falls in love with her instead.
Awwww that sounds cute! Can’t say I have any particular feelings about the ship, but I am up for Todoroki with nearly anyone so why not!
Anon said:Bro bro bro I’m sorry if this is the wrong channel to go through or something but holy shit I just spent hours going through your entire tumblr and your. Art. And. Concepts. I… can’t??? DUDE YOU’RE AMAZING AND YOUR TATTOO AU!! I?? Just thank you so much for all the awesome work you do honestly made my entire fuckin week with your blog, you are WICKED GOOD AND FUNNY AF. That’s all I got go on with your day you talented ass fiend
I’M CRYING!!! OH MY GOD THANK YOU!!!!!!! I’m gonna pick this ask and frame it right on top of my desk!! The heck!!!!!!
Anon said:Why is Bakugou such a fuckin meme
The real question is why is everyone in class 1A a meme. How do they even keep up. How much of the shit they say on a day to day basis is actually just catchphrases from other 1A kids repeated over and over again. How much of the deadpan ridiculous shit Todoroki says has become an inside-joke. How many 1A kids move and talk like Iida just for the hell of it. How often do they yell DIE at inanimate stuff when it pisses them off. How much stuff is defined as manly even though it has nothing to do with manliness. Do they say “going wheey” instead of “frying one’s brain”. Can anyone outside of 1A even understand them when they speak at this point.
Anon said:You are amazing human bean and I love you 💖 Keep being great ✨👏
Thank you??? ;O; I’ll do my best!!!
Anon said:Just annonly passing by to tell you I F'ing love your take on Ashido And the Kids XD … Way to much fluff And laugh for my heart
THANK YOU!!! I’m happy I can make you laugh!!!! :D :D :D
Anon said:I love you god bless you and your art! THANK YOU!
NAH THANK YOU FOR BEING THIS NICE!!!
Anon said:Hi! I absolutely /adore/ your BakuKiriKami art! I was wondering if you had any headcanons about them/what inspires you to draw them?
More than headcanons for them I have an incredible amount of scenarios I’d like to see them in! And when they’re compact, complete things I usually draw them, which is what inspires me really haha that, and seeing them interact in the manga! Lately I’ve been really drawn to Bakugou and Kaminari’s friendship, actually, so the romantic stuff has fallen in the background while my mind is preoccupied with thinking about them as platonic good pals ahhhhhhh as soon as I’ll work through it I’ll probably get back to drawing them as romantics, that’s just how my mind works lol
Anon said:I love the casual clothes you design for MHA characters! And I really enjoy reading your headcanons-always creative and fun! Is there anything you’d add to anyone’s hero costumes in class 1-A (something that might prove useful/practical for them, or something you’d add just for the heck of it)? Sorry if this is a stupid question or if you’ve answered a similar question before. Thanks for your time!
It’s not a stupid question, don’t worry!! But I generally like to leave myself in Horikoshi’s hands for this sort of stuff, since I both enjoy the costumes as they are AND don’t want to be disappointed in case what I hope for doesn’t actually happen - that said, I’ve mentioned before that I’d really like Aoyama to get redirectors for his laser on his palms and for Kaminari to get a close combat weapon, since with the quirk he has anything metal would actually work wonders for him! He mentioned a sword, but I rest my case that tonfas would be cool, I really want him to use tonfas. A “costume” I don’t understand is Hagakure’s, by the way - would be nice if she got an actual costume and also I don’t really get why she’d wear gloves at all?? Mirio’s costume was made using his hair, I really want her to get something similar! That’s about it tho, I haven’t really thought much about anyone else in that sense~ 
Anon said:Hello! A few weeks ago I asked about the bracelets you drew for Baku & Kiri. (That art is so beautiful!!) I was wondering if there’s a story behind them; such as, did one of them buy the pair, or did they pick them out together? I’m sorry if it’s a dumb question and if I’m bothering you.
THIS ASK I had lost it, thank you so much for sending it my way again! Actually, Kirishima bought it for himself and Bakugou - I mean to draw a small thing for it, be patient with me while I try to get my ass into gear for it ;O;
Anon said:It’s been a while since you’ve done any BakuKiriKami, do you still like that ship?
I do - as I said a few answers above this one, I’m just finding myself weirdly invested in a platonic relationship between Bakugou and Kaminari at the moment, and also Bakushima stole my focus and soul, but I do still like the ship a whole damn lot, definitely still my fav ot3 in the manga~
Anon said:I love your drawings so much, they always make my day seeing them. But I gotta say that kiri with his hair down is my weakness. He just looks so pure, the cuteness factor goes through the roof.
Thank you???? The Kiri thing is true for canon Kiri too, I’m glad I can bring it in my art!!! Mostly cause when I draw him with his hair down I’m never really sure what the hell I’m doing, I’ll be honest with you lmao
Anon said:hello, holy fUCKin shit how are you this damn good at drawing? like, fuck? thank you, bless you, have a nice day
THANK YOU! And all I do is draw, really lmao I wouldn’t say I’m all that good, definitely not anywhere near the artists I admire, but since all I can do is draw as long as I keep doing that I guess I’ll get there, sooner or later hahaha
132 notes · View notes
m0onbean · 7 years
Text
Movie Dates with ASTRO
this is a long thread!
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MJ
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would probably choose a comedy movie
would buy the largest size of popcorn and accidentally spill some on the way to your seats
you actually die of embarrassment around him
he would laugh at the serious moments in the movie
i kid you not this grown man would very quietly not so quietly murmur "that's what she said" 
you wanted to die but it was amusing
would embarrass you by turning around to the kids sitting behind you
"this is my girlfriend (Y/N)"
"MJ what are you doi-"
"isn't she pretty?"
the kids would nod their heads and MJ would smile not before growing serious and suddenly snapping
"she's mine though, understood?!"
poor children would widen their eyes and you would give MJ a >:( look
MJ would give you a ;) look
whenever something remotely funny happened he would look at your face to see your reaction
turns out you kept a straight face the whole movie
bc
the movie wasn't funny
after the movie ended MJ would act clingy and cute
"did you like the movie?"
"hmm it was okay"
he would whine
"you're not satisfied?"
"no if you had fun then i'm satisfied"
"let's movie hop to whatever movie you would like"
"isn't that illegal"
"it's not illegal as long as you don't get caught"
MJ would make sure you had fun by randomly snickering comments in your ear which made you two burst in laughter
throw popcorn at eachother and look away pretending as if nothing happened
annoy the employees by constantly refilling popcorn
end up watching every movie in the theater
you two are probably banned tbh
in the end it doesn’t matter
the funnest time you’ve ever had at the movies
Jinjin
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lets you make all the decisions
doesn't care what movie it is
just wants to spend time with you
ends up watching a movie about dogs
jinjin would subconsciously coo "aww" under his breath whenever a dog showed up
so like
during the whole movie
you learned that jinjin loves dogs
he would mutter in your ear
"let's get a dog"
seveRAL times
"how about that breed?"
"what do you think? small or big dog?"
you would just scoff but squeeze his cheeks
"you're so cute"
would hold your hand during the entire film
would randomly tap on your shoulder
"what do you want?"
"can you hold this?"
he would stick his hand in his jacket
his hands pops back up with a finger heart
would look at you proudly
"i'm such a cute boyfriend"
you would roll your eyes but return the heart
"jinjin look here"
you would pretend to look for something in your pockets
"did you forget your wallet? it's ok i paid" he would worriedly ask
"found it!" you would exclaim
sticks your hand back up
BAM! finger heart
he would uncontrollably smile
by the time you two are out of the theaters
guess what
a dog died at the end
jinjin is literally sobbing
you hug him and soothe him
"it's ok jinjin... he's in a better place now"
he cries harder and grips onto you tightly
"snowball didn't deserve that..."
"i understand"
he would be sniffing continuously on the drive home
"babe..." 
he takes out his phone and starts typing passionately
"what are you doing?"
"i'm writing a five star review on the movie"
Eunwoo
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chose whatever movie you wanted
paid for your ticket although you insisted it was fine
"(Y/N) i'm supposed to be paying you'll make me look bad"
"fine but i'm paying next time"
loves how stubborn you are about it
constantly asking if you want anything
"want some popcorn? or anything else? ice cream? mozzerella sticks? nachos?"
in the theater he would laugh inside at you
because you were like
about to fall asleep
your eyelids were giving up on you
your head kept falling
you tried your best to stay awake but
the 
movie
was 
boring 
he would notice how tired you were
wouldn't say anything but would lift the seat divider up
tucks you inside his humongous winter coat
you would snuggle inside since it was warm
wraps his arms around you 
kisses your forehead when he notices you fall asleep
lowkey grateful the date turned out like this
he was never interested in the movie in the first place
your eyebrows would scrunch up suddenly
he would be alarmed
it would look like you're in pain
he would rub your back soothingly
gives you multiple kisses
your expression would wash off your face upon feeling his touch
now you're smiling in your sleep
his heart is aching
he's trying not to fanboy right then and there
he loves you so much
when the movie ends he would nudge your shoulder
"(Y/N) wake up sleeping beast"
when you fully regain conscious you would be embarrased
"u-uh sorry if I ruined the date"
he would laugh
because
you made the date better than he would even imagine
"let's do this more" 
he would say and wink
you die out of humiliation
Moonbin
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moonbin would buy the whole food shop
like
actually
"hi can i get two large sodas, large buttered popcorn, an ice cream bar, oh do you guys have chicken nuggets? yeah? i'll take that 2 lmfaO. no wtf im not done. some mozzarella sticks, chicken tenders- what do you mean the bill is over $50? scuse me im an idol"
s m h
during the movies you two would just be talking the whole time
honestly what was the point of going if you two were just gonna have  nice conversation
everybody looking at u 2 because
on moonbin's lap are the chicken tenders, mozzarella sticks, and drinks
on your lap would be the chicken nuggets, and whatever tf he ordered
a F E A S T
everyone lowkey hates u guys
bc 
the chicken nuggets smelled good
and u two were conversing so casually
a kid actually kicked your guys' seat
"can u shut up i can't hear"
"scuse me i'm an idol"
"u dont look like one"
you had to restrain this GROWN man from fighting some 10 year old
don't worry about leftovers
legend says that moonbin inhales the food
you two would be having a pick up line war
"hey baby. tie your shoelaces i dont want u falling for anybody else"
"are you a laptop? bc you can make my lap warm."
"wtf was that dirty"
"no omg i swear i didnt mean it like that"
"lets break up"
a forceful kick to moonbin's chair
"SHUT THE F-"
you 2 were kicked out
what gives
the food wasnt that gr8 anyways
"its the theater's fault. shouldve put more interesting movies so we wouldnt chatter so much"
"yeah" you groaned "long movies are boring anyways"
"you know what else is lon-"
legend says that moonbin still flinches whenever you slightly raise your foot
Rocky
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tHIS BOI
very quiet around people
but around you??
hohohohoho
WHO BROUGHT A MONKEY IN THIS THEATER
he's actually jumping around on his toes
"omg i'm so excite!!"
"minhyuk can u calm down"
"but the new lego movie came out and i'm really excited bc my fav character was the unicorn cat girl bc she's really nice and stuff but when shes angry shes ready to fite and i think that represents me bc u kno how im all fluffy and stuff when we first meet but like if somebody messes with me or you or anybody i am friends with they get beat up even tho im smol"
"...we're not even watching the new lego movie."
THIS KID WOULD JUST WALK UP TO THE MANAGER AND ASK FOR AN EXCHANGE OF TICKETS
"I THOUGHT WE WERE WATCHING THE NEW LEGO MOVIE WTF (Y/N)"
"YOU SAID I COULD CHOOSE"
"BUT WE'RE A TELEPATHIC COUPLE. I SENT U A MESSAGE TO CHOOSE THE NEW LEGO MOVIE."
you would massage your temples in frustration
angry -> happy when the manager lets him exchange it
in the theaters he'd be so happy
"u can be the wyldstyle to my emmet"
"mkay."
he would pout
"babe i put a lot of thinking into that pickup line so i really dont appreciate it when you start doing this to me because like i put so much in this relationshi-"
u would stuff popcorn in his mouth so he can shut up
his eyes would intently follow the movie
hes so into it!!
would laugh a little too loudly at the jokes
scrunches up face when the bad guy does something bad
widen eyes at intense scenes
when unikitty popped up on the screen
tHIS BOI
"OMG UNIKITTY!" he would scream
rips open his jacket and reveals a unikitty shirt
whole theater glaring at him
you are actually hiding in your sweater
"pls kill me"
after the movie
"minhyuk this relationship isnt working"
"wdym lol"
"you're a disgrace to me"
"huh"
"uR LIKE IN COLLEGE AND YOU'RE WEARING A UNIKITTY SHIRT TO THE MOVIES."
"i only wear my idol's merch <3"
u would sigh
he would put his jacket back on and hug u
"sry babe next time ill get a shirt with YOUR face on it"
"wow thanks"
"mhm np"
Sanha
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"w-why'd u choose a horror movie"
you had to drag this tall baby in the theaters
"i don't want to..." he would whine
"please sanha"
you would perform your aegyo on him
shooting him finger hearts and comfort
"sanha u r a man u can do this"
upon hearing he's a man he'd be like
"oK i can do this i'm a man"
clinging onto your arm during the whole movie
would close his eyes and bury his face in your arm
"tell me when its over"
you would pet his floof hair
"its ok sanha, you're my brave knight arent you?"
he immediately recomposes himself and sits up straight
"yes. your majesty i will save u"
few minutes in and he gave up
is actually hugging you full on
not even watching the movie
"sanha... the movie's done now"
after u two are out the theaters
"THAT WAS AN EASY MOVIE I CAN WATCH ANYTHING NOW"
proud of himself
it was cute but
"really? wanna watch the sequel?"
sanha would loudly gulp
"um."
when he would drop you off at your house
he would be stalling time
"sanha you can go now"
"u-uh..."
"r u scared lol"
"lolololol hahahah wdym"
ends up staying the night at your place
cuddling with you the entire night
he would sort of flinch in his sleep
or his body would jump suddenly
nightmare??
u would kiss his forehead and wake him up
"are you ok?"
he would stare at you
and
HE WOULD PERFORM THE "I DREAMED OF A GHOST" AEGYO
"pls go back to sleep and never wake up"
359 notes · View notes
sweetcron · 4 years
Note
11-97
hhelllll yEAHHHHH HERE WE GO BABIE!!!!!!! THANKS FOR THE ASK!!!
i probably went too hard on all these but....one of my summer classes just finished and i was like yeahahhHhhahah
11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?
totally depends where i am and how much time i have, but typically ill have yogurt & something small but sweet so i dont go insane
12. name of your favorite playlist?
god right now my favorite is handle without care, which is just stupid songs im into right now
13. lanyard or key ring?
lanyard, except i always get it caught on shit so typically i just throw my keys in my bag anyway
14. favorite non-chocolate candy?
oooo hard one, my initial thought was sour gummy worms, but probably... either that or sour skittles. oh but fuck lemon & black licorice jelly beans together......im excited to have 0 followers & 0 friends tomorrow
15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?
percy jackson was dope. im trying to come up with another that i even read and frankly cannot
16. most comfortable position to sit in?
honestly i just sit like a fool all the time, but i like to be very reclined and almost horizontal, if im forced to sit more upright i like crosslegged or with my leg(s) pulled up to my chest
17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?
depends on the season or length of time, recently it’s been my black high top vans, usually it’s my docs. for a long time it was black converse.
18. ideal weather?
i like when it’s a little sunny, kind of overcast, but a little cold, like enough to wear layers but not suffer
19. sleeping position?
on my side, curled up, ideally holding pam(ela indestructable underworld), my adorable stuffed sloth
20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?
depends on what it is, but I have a planner sort of thing i really like for planning, a sketchbook/painting sort of notebook for more emotional shit and then my twitter that nobody follows and is private for really emotional shit
21. obsession from childhood?
i loved making like..dirt, water, and grass mixtures in an empty gatorade bottle. apparently this is not a common experience.
22. role model?
everyone to an extent, but also nobody. but to pin down a specific person, probably my therapist lol
23. strange habits?
i keep listening to shiny from moana? also i keep wanting to change my hair.
24. favorite crystal?
oh god, i love opal, but i dont know. most are pretty but some are awful. it depends, and id have to look at a million pictures for any resemblance of a legitimate answer
25. first song you remember hearing?
that’s so hard um. i dont remember very early but i do remember hearing crush, crush, crush by paramore and thinking ew crushes are gross even though i had a crush on a dumbass at the time, and welcome to the black parade and crying
26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?
warm, probably a concert but past that, walking around, going to thrift stores or record shops. 
27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?
a concert, again but past that going home, or getting a warm drink
28. five songs to describe you?
oh LORD!!!!! this is hard, but i did my best
1. caught in the middle - paramore
2. grow - muna
3. cool for cats - squeeze
4. cut my lip - twenty one pilots
5. tubthumping - chumbawumba
29. best way to bond with you?
share music with me, be vulnerable and share what is going on with you
30. places that you find sacred?
being in trees and being alone listening to music that means a lot to me loudly
31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?
i have a mustardy yellow shirt that’s got vertical lines that are raised from the shirt, and then a flared leg jumpsuit sort of thing that’s like plaid, with black and white and grey. then docs, and yeah i love that outfit. adore it. even better with a jean jacket with fleece lining.
32. top five favorite vines?
also so hard but after doing this i think im gonna throw up from laughing so hard
1. dancing puppet
2. get outta your mind
3. cat
4. WAY TO GO PAUL
5. krispy kreme
33. most used phrase in your phone?
that’s a great question, probably me asking people what to do with my hair
34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?
none currently, but always “meat, it’s what’s for dinner”
35. average time you fall asleep?
depends, but usually 10ish
36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?
probably some rage meme like brian or whatever
37. suitcase or duffel bag?
depends on what im doing, but usually duffel.
38. lemonade or tea?
arnold palmer babie!! but it depends, usually i’d say tea, i really like lemon ginger (especially pukka but its expensive)
39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?
i dont know if i’ve had lemon meringue pie, but lemon cake sounds better i think
40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?
i remembered this and it is entertaining, in middle school (i was...prolly 14? 13?) someone said “someone likes uuuu” to me and i was like. “......k” and they were like..... “it’s a giiiiiiirl” and i again, was like “.......k” and so literally, i fucking spent the rest of the class being like, hm! apparently i dont care. and thats how i realized that idc about gender when it comes to liking someone lol
41. last person you texted?
max, @laetan​. follow him if u dont i love him
42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?
women’s pant pockets are cursed. jacket pockets enlighten me, especially when there’s one normal and then one like, on top of that pocket but the entrance is horizontal. that’s my favorite.
43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?
all? but let’s rank them 
1. jean jacket, my absolute fav, i have like 5 jean jackets and it’s bad. i always want more
2. hoodie, with a jean jacket is even better, but COMFY!!!!
3. leather jacket, look like a badass with one piece of clothing!!
4. bomber jacket, dont have a lot but always make me feel cool
5. cardigan, makes me feel like an old lady, but also really comfy idk. even the worst is amazing
44. favorite scent for soap?
i love lemon, but any fruit is good. or like, vanilla
45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?
sci-fi usually....fantasy is usually too much and superhero is usually annoying. unless it’s spiderman. i adore spiderman
46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?
oversized soft t shirt and like, soft shorts/boxer things
47. favorite type of cheese?
GOAT CHEESE!!! also sharp cheddar and pepperjack
48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?
pear. i feel like i’m not talked about a lot but people like me and nobody despises me??
49. what saying or quote do you live by?
i really like “you can start over each day” and “only skeleton bones remain” (FUCKING CLIKKIE)
50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?
i feel like ive cried laughing so hard, or almost thrown up, but i dont know why, and that’s almost better
51. current stresses?
just general body things, appointments, school in the fall, graduating, etc
52. favorite font?
it depends on what im doing, but i love my own handwriting, i like times new roman, hate arial with a PASSION!!!!! brawler is nice but doesn’t bold well. handwriting fonts are cool too
53. what is the current state of your hands?
left hand’s nails is in silver glitter and right hand’s nails are blue/purple glitter. perpetual hangnails. still a hint of a scar from cutting my hand on a razor, and remnants of blisters from rowing
54. what did you learn from your first job?
that you can be kind and see change without changing the entire world, and that men are creepy as shit
55. favorite fairy tale?
i dont think i have one? max probably has a good one that i’d love. new ask game send me ur favorite fairy tales and ill read them and review them
56. favorite tradition?
my mom makes me a half birthday cake every year, it’s really cute and idk why it warms my heart
57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?
fuck dude, umm this is hard and also a lot
1. my extreme self hatred!!
2. my extreme concern for other people’s thoughts, just honestly like dressing and listening to whatever and not really caring, ill always care, just not as bad as i did
3. letting go of things and trying to grow because of pain rather than viewing it as a waste of time
58. four talents you’re proud of having?
uhhhhhghaghhaghdshaghdhsaghadshg i dont know this is hard
1. finding dope ass socks at thrift stores
2. thinking creatively and trying to make something stranger than others like it
3. i can draw p well???? i guess? i designed my tattoo does that count
4. winning contests. i won like, 10 last year? like wtf
59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?
recently it would be life’s a sham and then ur wow, in reference to life’s a bitch and then you die and also shamwow. so that. or just constantly referring to things as bad boys, like. dishes.
60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?
there’s different kinds? but ummmm i dont know, i dont want to google anime types. can i say like a miyazaki movie and be done with it
61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?
i dont know, can i do a song? bc i really like I’m alive in spite of me recently, also like this graffiti that i say that said 33 might mason men couldn’t put me back together again
62. seven characters you relate to?
oh boy, i asked my gf for help on some
1. nick miller from new girl
2. peter b. parker from into the spiderverse
3. dean mccoppin from iron giant for some reason
4. emile from ratatouille 
5. a mix of ben and leslie from parks and rec
6. a weird mix of chris and ron from parks and rec
7. rodrick from diary of a wimpy kid
63. five songs that would play in your club?
1. come down by anderson paak
2. send me on my way by rusted root
3. doses and mimosas by cherub
4. replay by iyaz
5. rap snitch knishes by mf doom
64. favorite website from your childhood?
WEBKINZ!!!!!
65. any permanent scars?
yeaaa got a lot, most prominent are on my legs, partially just stretch marks, and then the one on my forehead from when i got stitches
66. favorite flower(s)?
i love carnations, marigolds, roses, but really anything, fuck
67. good luck charms?
i don’t have any, i used to wear a bracelet my gf gave me but it broke. *insert gif of me trying to remember when it broke and if that’s when everything went to shit*
68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?
centipede jelly bean. worst thing ive ever had. it wouldn’t go away for a day even with eating other things and drinking water and chewing strong gum. horrible
69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?
i have no idea. truly
70. left or right handed?
i am right handed
71. least favorite pattern?
houndstooth, i really don’t like it for some reason
72. worst subject?
i am oh so bad at writing, it’s really hard for me. but honestly recently every subject is horrible.
73. favorite weird flavor combo?
this was mentioned before, but black licorice and lemon. i’ve only had it with jelly beans, so maybe it’s not as good in other formats
74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?
depends on what it is, if i think a migraine is coming then i take it pretty low, maybe a 4, otherwise i can deal with it up to like a 6 or 7, unless i’m needing to focus
75. when did you lose your first tooth?
i dont know when, but i do remember where. i was at a drive through bank in a rental car with my parents and brother in oregon, and i put the tooth in the lid of a plastic water bottle.
76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?
jalepeno potato chips are soooo good but, honestly, tots are the best. mashed potatoes are good too
77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?
depends on the direction it’s facing and climate, but i’m growing some ivy right now and it’s so pretty and cool. also a christmas cactus that my great great great grandma or something like that started and has been passed down!!!! and a ..... leafy boy
78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?
absolutely coffee from a gas station, i dont trust sushi
79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?
my school id because i’m smiling. i look stoned or dead in my id.
80. earth tones or jewel tones?
i didn’t entirely know what this meant, so i googled both and went oooooooo to jewel tones so. jewel tones.
81. fireflies or lightning bugs?
i say both, i don’t know which i say more frequently because i live where there aren’t ....... lightning bugs. ore fireflies. whichever. lol
82. pc or console?
i dont game much, but i like my psp a lot, or like a joystick sort of sitchhhh
83. writing or drawing?
dRAWING FOR SURE!
84. podcasts or talk radio?
podcasts, i don’t listen to much of either
84. barbie or polly pocket?
can i throw in a third variable of bratz?
85. fairy tales or mythology?
either, but probably mythology
86. cookies or cupcakes?
depends on the kind, but i love frosting and cupcakes are fun, so cupcakes.
87. your greatest fear?
that i will lose everyone i love or push them away? eeeee
88. your greatest wish?
to be content and hopefully other people are content alongside me
89. who would you put before everyone else?
honestly my gf, max, and steph. and my mom. yeyeeeee
90. luckiest mistake?
oh god we could go deep or not. probably not. so like, buying pamela, my stuffed sloth
91. boxes or bags?
depends on the situation, but bags are fun, can put patches on them, plastic bags are boring and boxes are useful, help organize or carry lots of things
92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?
sunlight absolutely, i love it. i then would say lamps are better than fairy lights which are better than overhead lights. fuck overhead lights
93. nicknames?
for me? okay lets GO. delly, delly boi, dell, d, glen, glenjamin, glenny, yenaled. there’s a lot of weird/gross ones that i dont want to share.
94. favorite season?
fall in theory, summer in stability.
95. favorite app on your phone?
wasn’t this already asked? CAUGHTCHA
96. desktop background?
switches between 3 pictures around colorado that my gf took
97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?
five
98. favorite historical era?
good question, i honestly don’t know. can i say the 80s or 90s? if not like, before racism existed. yeah
0 notes
celestialallstars · 5 years
Text
Episode #13: “baaa louder.” - Zach
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So after that tribal I feem good and bad. On one end, I think it was the best case for me to use it for vote reveal and it showed Bryce/Zach up, Rhys is out and yeah. On the other, I regret voting Rhys out now because it will give Michael and Chloe an excuse to force rocks in F8 unless some serious minigames are done. SO I am going to ask Michael/Chloe to F3 maybe? Not sure yet but I think now if I ever do reach the end, I am gonma probably use this vote as a reason to win since I feel if I didnt make the decision to say anything, I would have possibly left. AND everyone got exposed? Miss me on that revote
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girl im going home
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so tribal happened and like. period. it was really sad + like i love rhys and seeing him go was upsetting, but like.. it's the game. no hard feelings! but i'm so frustrated with so many people. it's less of the game but more of how they acted, and thats why bryce and i snapped and leaked literally every little thing we know. like my issues were like... chris' main point was vilifying bryce & i for targeting him, but like, that happened AFTER loris slept. and??? they had a plan since i lost immunity to split on bryce/rhys. like yeah be mad at me for the shadiness of the mitch vote per se (albeit it not being super shady imo), but like... call that out initially. don't act like im in the wrong for the vote TONIGHT when the alliance was always so cliquey. then chloe got... idk. arrogant? like i snapped at her (wrongly so) but my annoyance with her is not deep, its just that she is like 'oh yalls voted me' but its like... ok. we thought you leaked. and even if you didnt (which she didnt), they legittttt WERE VOTING BRYCE ANYWAY LIKE . IT DOESNT MATTER. STOP VICTIMIZING YOURSELF. YOU WERE SHADY YOURSELF. but i cant be too mad because they didnt know about the 8 person alliance (supposedly) and i suppose with the info they DID have, they made a good decision. though still dumb i hate it but its my fault too who cares im perfect. jared is just so slimey. and stephen like??? saying 'i said to u dont fk me and you immediately snitch to bryce' BUT YOU HAD A PLAN TO BLINDSIDE ME AND MY ALLIES LIKEEEE STOP JUST SAY YOURE SNAKEY. LIKE IM OPENLY SNAKEY. ILL SAY IT. BUT DONT VILIFY ME???? HELLO?? like its the pot calling the kettle black.
i'm overdramatic just because im IN the mood to go off. or, was. i snapped (wrongly so) tonight. i want anyone who reads this to know its not personal and i love all of u dearly but . im frustrated and i want a good edgic rating LOL
loris frustrates me because he legit is a goat. he can deny that all he wants but there is a literal 0% chance i vote him at this rate to win. i dont know why. he just.. isnt playing for himself. whats NEW. jk... love u. IM JUST frustrated.
on good news, i got a super idol. period. aint telling anyone. like i love bryce but i dont want him to expect me to use it on him because . it wont be good for my game. im playing for myself and myself only. like... period. tho i hope him and i can manage to survive a bit but i dont think thats likely.
im not reviewing this i just am writing whats in my feelings so its more authentic LOL
anyway this game was super fun. despite being stressful and straining, the call was super enjoyable and this org has been one of my favs, and this night has made it sm better. so period. no regrets, just faggotry.
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i'm a flop.
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Everything seems so messy tonight. Rhys has approached me about me, him, Michael, Bryce nd Zach workin together but like... they seemed so actively against me sooooo idk what's going on there it feels like a trap. They suggested doing Chris which does kinda sound real but that could be part of the trap idk im very nervous. I just kinda said I would go along with the plan but I don't really intend to do that. I don't think Chris is the move for me this round, Rhys doesn't speak to me which is why I'm also nervous the alliance came from nowhere. To my knowledge the votes are gonna be split 3-3-3 in case of an idol, which I hope gets flushed. Idols make me nervy. Hell I didn't even know Jared had an idol that fucking snake, but it's fine cause he played it on me.
(((((aj note --- this confessional above is obviously from last round but its 2am and i want to go to sleep so idk))))))))
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Last night was an absolute mess and I feel I missed a lot of what went on so I need to watch the post tribal live stream to see if I can try to make more sense of what went down. So far I gathered Jared is a snake, we been knew and Bryce is a leaker. However the leaking shit got pinned on me YET AGAIN. WHY THE FUCK DO THESE BITCH ASS HOES KEEP PINNING SHIT ON ME. FUCK U BRYCE
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I just, everything's a mess. All the alliances i doubt are going to work, Jared isnt long for this game, me or Stephen may follow him out, and the rest will likely see some combo of Loris/Michael/Chloe in the end. I dont know, suddenly feeling hopeless about all of this and like, pretty unhappy at the moment. I knew it would be hard but like I literally am struggle to have clear thoughts and with this and outside life factors I'm just feeling lost at the moment.
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hi i'm less mad so ignore my above confessional LOL. thank u for tuning in.
except u loris. baaa louder.
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Whew hunny last night exposed a lot of fake ass bitches but we really been knew they’re fake. I’m feeling confident about the next few rounds because I think people see myself and Chloe as numbers and people they need to bring on board to make plans work. Part of my strategy this game is to sit back and let the bigger players come in and try and make the big moves everyone wants to feel like they’re making a difference and everyone wants to build their resume by making big moves and as long as I can maintain my threat level I think I’ll be safe and I can have a bit of Influence in the game as people scramble for my vote.
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WELL! That was an interesting tribal!
Shortly before tribal, it came out that a secret group of 5 was made to blindside Chris. (Zach/Bryce/Rhys/Michael/Chloe)
I obviously didn't want that to happen, and neither did Chris or Jared. Bryce leaked it to Jared, and Jared told me and Chris. I made the INDEPENDENT decision to confront Zach about this, because I'm not asking for permission to make moves sorry. The only issue is that Zach immediately went to Bryce, even though I asked him not to fuck me. Bryce went to Jared and Chris, and they went back to me. WELP! That just hurts my strategic relationship with Zach even more than the vote already would have.
Chloe and Michael were doing what they could to keep the votes off Chloe, luckily, my move with Zach ensured that they failed! WOO!
I don't want to make the same mistake as Matt though. I may have a decent majority now, but I don't want to burn my bridges with Zach and Bryce. I stayed out of the drama last night (mostly) and I'm gonna keep talking game with them. I might not be able to fully repair things totally but I'm confident I can do better than the other 5.
I'm gonna go over my relationships with the remaining castaways since there's finally a small enough number for me to feel like doing that:
Chris: My closest ally, we tell each other basically everything. I'm worried about going to Final Tribal with him though. He's played well in every facet of the game and literally won "Who do you want to see win" in Touchy Subjects. If I don't get a chance to take him out at the end, I think I can mount a strong argument against him. but I'd only feel comfortable making that move if I was already immune and definitely going to Final Tribal.
Jared: My second(?) closest ally, though I now know he has kept a TONNNN of secrets from me and on top of that he's a threat to win. Luckily, with all the info coming out from last round, I don't think I'll need to worry about Jared being at Final Tribal.
Loris: With Rhys gone, Loris has officially taken the title of "person I kinda wanna maybe side with but he's talked about voting me out so we're not cool". I kinda wanna weaken Bryce and Zach (or maybe vote them both out) before taking a shot against him, I just hope he doesn't realize I know he's after me until it's too late.
Michael: I really don't know where I stand with Michael LMAO! He voted with us last round but never informed us about the plan to get Chris out. He said he was "going to" but I don't believe that for a second. In fact, I think if Chris hadn't revealed what Bryce had leaked there's a chance he may have gone through with it.
Chloe: I kinda love Chloe. I wish I never accidentally turned the majority alliance against her. She's fun to hang around with AND someone I think I could beat in the end. It's like a win-win. Except I don't think she wants me anywhere near the end.
Zach: Out of the 3 people out of the loop at the last vote my relationship with Zach was the strongest. That having been said, neither of us were really sharing much information with each other after Mitch left and I feel like there's really not much further we can go together. Him and Bryce are both good options to be targeted at this vote.
Bryce: While I've personally known it for quite some time, for Bryce to outright say he didn't want to me in an alliance with me is kind of the most red a red flag can be. If I have it my way, Bryce will be the next person voted out. Granted, I'm saying all of this before immunity results and real strategic talks can begin, so my mind might change, but it's not likely.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPS6OykNvh0 its so sad im going home tldr: im gone chris can say 1000 words but if they all mean nothing whats the point. jared ruined  my trust in people forever. chloe is a goat hypocrite who aggravates me. stephen is alright not good not bad. rhys is my king and im so sad hes gone i legit love that man. zach is fake. michael is annoying. loris is being a goat but who cares. omg me taking 0 blame for anything bad that happened to me? more likely than u think!!
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hi! so. I think I can win this game. my intentions for a while have been to get out someone I don’t see working with personally, rhys, and then attempt a flip on jared/stephen. i also very much have wanted to turn on Chris because I believe me and him are playing similarly in that we have positioned ourself well into the middle, and going to the end with someone who’s basically played the same game but more well-polished is not a good idea! i wanted to get myself this immunity so that I could talk to people about flipping without risk of being ratted and then voted out, which was almost what happened to chloe last round. im also starting to become aware of how me never attending tribal is making me fall under the radar in a way?? everyone is fighting each other and arguably making situations worse for themselves by giving an answer straight away, for example, bryce declaring his f2 with Jared in the call. though people can still slander me while I’m not there, what they say cannot be dwelled on for too long because I’m not there, putting me in a more favourable position than some of the other people here? I think? that someone said that I was playing the middle last tribal council and well.. they’re right so oops.
my ideal path to the end would be stephen and jared leaving the next rounds, and then Chris, although the order does not concern me right now. then I would be at final 5 with Bryce zach chloe and michael and then whoever isn’t immune out of bryce and zach can be voted out. perry. and then I’m gonna have to pray to god I win final immunity OR Michael or Chloe do but like that doesn’t feel likely to me. AND THEN I WIN!!!
ALSO. im in the final 7. I just need to survive one more round and then I’m guaranteed final 5... because no way in hell im playing that legacy on someone  else.. I am not letting THAT happen again.
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Me nd Michael been talking, nd we’ve wanted to make a move for a bit now but crazy shit keeps happening. We needed to take down Rhys and break up the Rhys/Bryce/Zach trio so Bryce nd Zach are more useable. Now we planning on flipping on Jared/Chris/Stephen. My current target would be Jared because as much as I trust him and adore him I think he’s definitely running this bitch. Then Loris decides he also wants to flip nd he tells Michael that he wanted to exclude me but JOKES ON U LORIS I WAS ALREADY PLANNING ON FLIPPING U DUMB FUCK. Which was kinda obvious he was planning on excluding me cause Zach and Michael both messaged me about it and I knew Loris was involved in the flipping but he hadn’t messaged me about it sooooo. Don’t test me Loris I’ll make u be voted next.
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#FuckLoris
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GRIT YOUR TEETH, PULL YOUR HAIR, PAINT THE WALLS BLACK AND SCREAM FUCK THIS CAST CAUSE ITS MY GAME AND IM GONNA TAKE IT BACK 
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So tonight the plan me chloe and loris are sailing to the majority alliance that voted together last time is that the votes will be spilt. And they will be but we won’t be joining we will be switching to Jared and eliminating the biggest threat in the game at this point. From there I’m thinking of flipping to take out zach or Bryce and continuing on the game switching to control the power in the game.
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Part of the beauty of this move to blindside Jared is that a lot of the blame for the flip is shared amongst both Chloe and Loris paired with Bryce and Zach being bigger threats means that my name will most likely still be out of peoples mouth I just have some major damage control to do to stop Stephen/Chris teaming up with Zach/Bryce and creating a 4-3.
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A lot has happened.
Bryce and I's F2 imploded because of me, and even though we reconciled today I don't think I can truly work with him again. Best I can do is try to secure his jury vote.
I have deals with Stephen Chris Michael and Chloe, Loris will hopefully fall by the wayside next round.
The plan this time was to get Michael onside in PMs and gauge his interest for voting out Zach, reinforcing the "this is our shield strategy." He did the work from there. Yeet!
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Jared is voted out 5-2-1. He becomes the fifth member of our jury.
Watch Jared’s exit interview take place below:
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0 notes
survivormarmoreal · 5 years
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Episode #4: "I made James quit accidentally because I rigged a random.org" - Brian
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So.... BC quit. Don't know why (and I am not gonna enquire, I just know he is hella busy). But ya I don't know what this means going forward but im gonna roll with it. If i'm not flexible, then that is not a good winner. so ya looking forward toi see whatever happens, and if Madigan go to tribal again, all i know is that i will still be safe cause james and I will just get Keaton involved
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I’m SHOCKED BC quit because I thought I was going home lmao so now I have no idea what the hell is gonna happen I’m praying we swap tbh so I can meet up with Brian or Bryce who I know sbsbsbs.
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Okay I'm super sad BC quit. They seemed like such a sweetheart. And I always hate to see anybody quit. I'm usually kind of annoyed about quitters but I hope BC is all good and it was just because they were busy... :(
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This game has been really good to our tribe. We havent gone to tribal. I have a majority alliance of 4. Everyone is active and does 100% on the challenges. Its been good. Havent had much luck in idol hunt tho so probably someone already found it. Still nervous for the challenge. I want to keep winning but the bad thing in the eyes for the other tribe.
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The game is always changing... and someone quitting just shows how quickly everything can change in the game. Plans set forward destroyed... alliances ruined just due to what the game might throw at you at any given time. It’s always scary but you know what... sometimes you gotta look at something bad and say hey let’s test my gameplay a little bit... that is what I’m good at and that is what I plan to do!
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So we have swapped. and im not with james. This is hateful huh. first bc quitting today and now this. fuck this. and im with marie and keaton as well. ffs. oh well. time to get socialising and do this shit!
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I KNEW A SWAP WAS COMING!!! I felt it deep in my bones. Do sharks have bones? I actually don't think they do. Oh well. I KNEW IT WAS HAPPENING. Obviously I'm super nervous now because I was in a great spot before. But luckily I still have my #1 Brian. And Charlie who is a part of my Four of a Kind alliance and he has an idol. Plus Anna and I hopefully can work together like we have in other games. I just hope she trusts me. Ugh and I freaking hope we win this challenge. Because OG Dinah members definitely have a target as the last intact tribe. SO much is going on in my little gay brain.
Okay my brain is going a mile a minute with this swap. I'm reconnecting with Anna. She seems excited to see me and she told me she isn't super close with Jayden or Nick so that's amazing. I told Brian about Charlie's idol. So this is good. We're surviving.
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omg so we swapped and im so sad nathan isnt here but thats about it. happy to be away from jayden since he IGNORES me. when i read these after the game im gonna seem so obsessed huh KJDFSHFAKSJD. but anyway. dennis is here and hes one of my fave ppl ever! hes just so nice. we shared idol guesses and i really wanna go to the end with him. matt is pretty cool and we both stan the good place and naomi smalls so i feel like we'll be good allies. marie is a queen and super nice but maybe not super active but we both love ari so yay. naptime maynor isnt really liking my humor JKASDHF but thats ok. and kirby guy is alright too!! nicole seems nice enough if not a little standoffish but hoping for the best :s love this tribe overrall tho and really hoping to avoid tribal
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I got ZType for the duels! Blessed. I can do well in this game and I can't be the reason our tribe loses in the RARE chance we do. So i'm feeling okay.
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Too annoyed to write too much right now. But yet another org, and yet another swap fuck! Honestly, this is ridiculous. We have three members on either 7 person tribe, and even if we do manage to succeed in surviving another non-dinah is going to replace the voted out member... you can't make this shit up.
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I knew the swap was coming. But im with Dennis which is good. He has some connections with Bryce and Nicole so hopefully they work with us. Keaton is also here like oh Boi. 👀 going to see if he wants to work with me this time. Having him around could help me in this game.
James quits by leaving the server and ignoring everyone.
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https://gph.is/1neigCU my mood at my initial alliance members both qutiing time to die?
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Ok so Klick quit which is kinda upsetting cuz I was grinding tf outta that challenge and I lowkey played a game with him about a year and a half ago and kinda wanted to reconnect. BUT Nathan is now on the tribe which is like the nest possible scenario. Also we have Anna so hopefully we have an easy majority. Also I assume Dennis has began running the game over on the other tribe because he is great and will probably end up voting me out at f9 or something. But YAY F14 IM NOT OUT YET ANSNSKDKLZLXKC
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MY IMPACT?  I made James quit accidentally because I rigged a random.org to save Charlie from doing Multitask and then James had a fit because he got it and was sleeping so he couldn't pick... I... can't believe how I'm WINNING this game?  Anna, I hope you get my winner's crown READY because I'm doing the damn thing!  I am sorry I made him quit because I didn't think he would kjHDAJK... but wow...
Although I am in the minority right now based on tribal lines, Nathan is someone I've wanted to work with for like eons, and I feel so much more comfortable with him on my tribe than James and letting Annabelle hold my fate in her hands.  I think I have an upward battle, but I know Charlie has the idol and will warn Sharky in the case I need Charlie to use it on himself.  The two from my OG tribe I got stuck with is by far the only two from Dinah that I would go out of my way to protect in this game and knowing Charlie has the idol... ugh... I don't even have to DO anything and tea gets served to me.  Love Sharky.. love Charlie.. love Nathan... can't wait to thrive in this game now!
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So the swap, i thought would have been really bad for us original dinah people but so far it looks like we might pull through. Nicole told by Dennis to me that she is willing to work with us but im a little sketch because she hasnt really responds to me exept like one message and then it stops. Im trying to get info from keaton and see if he wants to work with me. I have to keep an eye on him cuz he’s messy af. 👀 I think we could be a strong tribe so hopefully we win the next immunity. I rather have my no going to tribal streak going. I need to start talking to our new tribe members as well.
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well james left so we got nathan i'm not upset about it i love nathan he's my person this game i think and we swapped with sharky on the tribe and i just played with sharky and we're in majority so things are really looking up here for me tbvh i feel like sharky might want to get rid of one of my OG tribe people but we'll see how it goes.
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This game is weird man. I was so ready to play 2048, but Kirby Boi #2 was a quitter, so now I'm not playing 2048, both people I trusted QUIT, and Dennis is on my tribe. I am going to lose really soon. But hopefully I can find an in on my tribe and survive.
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i just want an advantage. but oh so now 4/5 of my tribe is together and im just here.. love that! not sarcastic!! miss nathan tho! so far clicking with dennis still and naptime. hes a true carly rae jepsen fan i asked his fave and he said sour candy which is like (bad) but not well known so he must actually like her!! nicole left me on read.. love that! sarcastic!! and yaa wooh loving the new tribe that guy who quit bc of multitask kind of a flop but go off now im closer to merge!
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This morning finding out that James was removed was suprising. It sucks cuz i was enjoying doing the ztype. I got to 7,100 which i think its good but idk if it actually was. But im ready for this challenge and hopefully we could win in it. Definately dont want to go to tribal.
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Okay Nathan is AMAZING. I love him. And I'm totally going to work with him for sure. i'm so glad he didn't flop. And Honestly I'm glad James quit so that I could work with Nathan. This lip sync challenge is going to be silly. I offered to do the editing which honestly is a big undertaking but I like to be in control and It's definitely going to paint a target on my back but if we win it'll be so great.
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OMG SO FUN CHALLENGE THAT I HATE WOOH. i love this but i hate it. idk. i REALLY dont want to do a queen song so i pretended to not know who they are NNN but all that caused was my tribemates shading me... and its like... matt says beyonce is just "ok" and i need to listen to real music.??? just say u hate women and go. JK. maybe. but ANYWAYS. love dennis still and naptime is so funny love his pins! nicole left me on read some more so i sent her demi lovatos GET BACK music video and she finally responded with two 5 word msgs and ghosted again so um really loving that! kirby guy also doesnt reply a lot but thats ok totally loving only talking to 4 ppl!
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edit: quitters are shitters
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Our song is Dont stop me now by queen which is awesome. I just need to find the time to work on it later today or tomorrow morning but have an idea what imma do so thats good. Still talking to keaton but no game talk it. Hopefully soon because im still feeling sketch on this tribe. I dont wanna get voted out pre-merge. *knocks on wood* ✊🌳
Making the video was really fun. Had more fun and felt more comfortable after making the ones before were i wasnt as comfortable. This is one of my fav comps now. Cant wait to see how it turns out.
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UM?? I'm CACKLING?? So Sharky showed me the clips he got from Nick and Jayden, and I'm just so confused how straight men get any sort of action when they're as stiff as them?  I mean I guess they're not ugly so that probably helps, but neither of them are good at using a camera... So I'm just SO ...
I have nothing else to talk about other than how fucking STIFF the straight men are in their lip sync videos, so whew... love visibility…
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worst comp for me ever like i was fine doing 2048 i could have probably helped with that but like a music video? YIKES that's not my thing at all i didn't know what to do or what to help especially since i'm so not gonna get on camera >.< i hate being useless if we lose like ugh lmfao
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Okay so this challenge was...a disaster. I asked everyone to just do the song and then I'd make it look good with editing. That didn't work out. And I had more trouble editing than i thought. I feel like I dropped the ball and I'm not sued to being someone holding my tribe back. I tried to hide our bad lipsyncers. Charlie got sick. And something happened in the rush of uploading it that gave me a weird crop and a couple of cuts that I screwed up but I ran out of time. I'm feeling really disappointed in myself.
Okay we lost. This sucks. two of the judges called out the edit/effort specifically so that doesn't feel great. But I'm going to look at this as a positive. Maynor and Dennis stay safe on the other tribe. And Now I can use this to make some real connections and alliances on this tribe. Like Chad Michaels I will rise from the ashes and be the gayest winningest phoenix you have ever seen.
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Ok so me Nathan and Nick should really stick with Annabelle. Easy majority makes easy game which makes happy Jayden
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So we lost the challenge, but I don't feel too... bad about that.  I mean if I go home, clearly I fucked the fuck up and felt too confident... but I think that I feel... good?
Firstly, thank you to the judges for recognizing my SNAP in the lip sync.  I wasn't sure they were going to do my rap in the challenge, so I'm glad it was in there hehe... Now... going to tribal is a part of the game and the strategy has been lacking up till now, so I'm excited to jump in and finally explore that part of the game.  It'll be a nice start to my resume, following accidentally make James quit LMFAO.
Right now, I think I'm in a solid spot.  Nick said he wouldn't vote for me and I mean.. we haven't talked much, but I expect him to not lie for no reason... and I'm going to make sure to increase our conversation and expand on what HE wants to happen to just have that tea under my belt.  I think Jayden is who I would like gone, and I think I'd be able to gather the votes to get that to happen.  It's not like I have anything against him personally, but I just feel it's hardest to talk to him because him and I are not alike from what I've gathered.  I'm the uber gay and for the uber gay and the Travis Scott fanboy to get along?  Would be shocking.
I like Annabelle and Nathan a lot and I don't think they'd throw votes for me.  I have my little final 2 deal going on with Nathan, but highkey I don't think I'd keep him as my #1 over Marie, if I get to the point where I meet with her, so I have no problem cutting him or Annabelle in the future.  I do think it'd be better to work WITH them, especially for now, and I think they feel similar sentiments, but I don't know for sure!
But now we come to the real people I would like to protect going into this vote, Charlie and Sharky.  I love my OG Dinah babies so much, and I will make sure their names aren't the targets of this vote.  I think Sharky has set himself up well, and since he told me Charlie has the idol, I think we should especially be OK.  I also think Annabelle and Nathan seemingly want to work with us, so .... whew...
ALSO, this is a mid-confessional update, but 2 alliances were formed.  We have the "Tea Party" alliance with Sharky, me, and Nathan (the gays) and then the "Dinah Dudes" alliance with Charlie, Sharky, and me (OG Dinah's) and then I think another sub-alliance with the "Tea Party" and Annabelle is coming to fruition, so kjHDKAS... ya... I think I'm SET.  I can't wait to wreck shit!
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So we swapped tribes and here I am with 3 from my original tribe, 3 from the other tribe and Bryce from the third tribe. Bryce and I know each other, and by that I mean I just blindsided him another org... oops! Hopefully he doesn’t come after me but who knows because I literally did not participate in this challenge at all! We still won though so hopefully I’ll get to redeem myself in the next one
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My arms are SORE from pulling all my best Freddie Mercury moves out for this lip sync, I am SO tired. But I honestly am so glad i gave my 100% effort because I truly needed to pull through for this tribe and show them I’m not just a sitting duck. (Is that the term? Idk.)
Either way I’m glad we all got to bond through this and here’s to being safe ANOTHER round (I’ve never gone to tribal so wooooo!)
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i want an IDOL or sth. but um dennis is so fun love that man. always asks daily to work with me. like idk how many times i have to tell him that he is literally the only person on this tribe to pm me first without me having to (NOT EXAGGERATION). marie and matt? no reply from marie in like 30 hours and matt hasnt been talking to me since i said idk queen. kirby guy? replies with 1 word answers and taste in music offends me NNN. nicole? who. all she does is ignore me and like somtimes she replies and ill reply in the SAME LIKE 10 SECONDS, and she'll just leave me on read JKADSFHAKSJ. comes back like 9 hours later with no reasoning on why she stopped talking and with just a "hi", and thats if im lucky! idk i hope we swap soon or merge. like the whole preswap i was praying for a swap to find some good allies bc all i had was nathan really, and now i just have dennis. maybe by merge ill have a whole 3 allies??? oh wait theres um maynor hes cool i always have to pm him first but hes at least responsive and can hold a conversation! black bear diner goes off and i WILL be eating there the next time in houston
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We lost, which was hardly surprising when I saw the other tribe's video lol. So now it's not looking good for us dinahs... but luckily I have the idol up my sleeve hehe. Gonna tell Brian and Sharky so that we can use it to save us…
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I was so happy that we won immunity. Stil feeling a little sketch on this tribe. Injust hope that the vote isnt charlie, brian, or sharky. And especially sharky cuz he’s my duo. Now dennis, nicole, and i are the only 3 to not go to tribal yet. Its pretty awesome amd kinda scary.
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https://youtu.be/BfzG9xjtCRw
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Down with the straights!  I still think Jayden is going, but if Charlie ends up going I'm JUMPING because that means I've been lied to by people that want to claim to be my final 2... I do trust in Jayden going but we shall SEE!
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So the tribe lost and I’m a bit nervous because I’ve only heard one name... I would have loved to saved my idol until I needed it but I think it’s very likely my name could be the second one going around... we shall see what happens though.
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Ugh okay so I was hoping for a simple easy vote. But as usual there is just a little bit of drama. Nick told Anna/Nathan that he has a legacy advantage to be used at F13/F6 which is trash because that means if we lose next time he'll use that and be safe. But if we vote him out he'll gift it to Jayden and we have the same problem. Plus Charlie is wigging out because he has a bad feeling about the vote, which is totally fair because he isn't talking very much. And Nick told Anna her name got thrown out which is just untrue. This is just kind of messy and not in a cute way.
Jayden is voted out 5-2.
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calvinlepesh · 5 years
Text
yes here you go
  Workcrew immediately for incompletion of the run is common for new kids and previous strugglers. Workcrew is named so because it makes u do nothing because u cant do something so instead of WORKing on something because u suck at that you literally work doing nothing. You have to work to keep yourself entertained. Work to keep yourself from going insane looking at that orange peel textured wall. Yikes. work to not fucking freeze too jesus fucking christ fuck whoever controlled the thermostat. just saying. Sure they didnt know or didnt care but fuck them for that. anyway. After the run you come inside go back to ur room if ur not on workcrew you chill for a few minutes while the chef is done cooking for the entire facility. Obvisouly being on wprl crew You dont eat whatever everyone else eats they work they get reward u no work no reward. oats and water and those fucking goddamn apples. fuck They're probably eating some kickass breakfest burrito or A nice blue berry muffin with yogurt. actually I know and still know the food schedule for breakfest and lunch for everyday of the week. It hardly change and very slightly if ever. So i knew what I could've been eating worst part about it is they eat literally inches from you. Your back facing them listening to them eat and salvate smelling all the condiments and fresh bacon. Waiting patiently for all the other students to finish their meals and wash their dishwear and go to their rooms only after do they. Give you your W/C meal. Oats and water fuck me. The worst part about it was after awhile I got so skinny that parker had me start eating a bowl of oatmeal with every meal this is when i was doing decently well but still being full of shit just not as much. But the worst part was I got 2 bowls of it while all other w/c got 1 And i started to even like it. Almost as if my taste buds had adapted over awhile to enjoy the oats. fuck those apples tho sometimes they were a 3 out of 10. best compliment I can give there sorry not sorry. anyway eat ur meal. its time for group. Group is when the entire facility all families and w/c and parker the director sit down commonly in a circle with parker in a chair and the students on the floor but before I left They had been consistently all in the life timechairs except parker who stood at the front of the main room with the students in a movie theatur like fashion without the leveled tiers obviously. but in order of w/c to family 1-5 so work crew being at the very front right feet from parker. During group we would review issues regarding anything and i mean anything wrong with the facility or the students and staff inside of it. It is encouraged and heavily peer supported to tell on each other and to work on themselves and not let anybody even other students or roomates get in your way. WORK ON YOURSELF by Sourrounding yourself with people on the same mission as you and who do the things to suggest they are going to continue to stay on that mission was a huge message that was pushed in a variety of ways at liahona. through team building exercises, group discussion and definitely confrontation. It is common for students to lash out when they're new. Probably cause they're from California and think these motherfuckers cant do shit to me im a minor. Think again, welcome to Southern buttfuck nowhere Literally sand mountains mars-looking Hurricane Utah. Body slam ur bitchass for acing outta line. Talking back blatent disrespect and obviously anything suggesting possilbe physical or verbal outbreak resulted in a restaint. Most staff would warn u like chill out orim gonna put u on the ground. And you'd get in trouble just for that. Sometimes even a little more secretly I think for not following through. but maybe not considering its a change in behavior. im sure it could be situational. Regardless. back to the story. group typically lasted an hour or so sometimes would watch a documentary afterwards sometimes even a movie however those became quite rare as the students or cycle in. Called generations of students. I was the last of my generation for a good amount of time towards the end of my stay at liahona. Depressing very much so. Watching people who go there a year after u graduate before you. U began to believe those insecurities more and more. and if you have struggle throughout your life with putting negative energy in the universe in the form of speech by conversion of energy to your body which is apart of the universe. i know alittle hard to follow but bear with me and try your best. After group you'd either get on or off of work crew based on how well u did at nothing and the little something u do such as workouts the morning run how u address staff members how even how frequent you use the bathroom to see if ur trying to get up. What was cool at Liahona was doing what you were told. being obiedient at all times immediately and when you do fuck up take the mistake and turn it into success instead of letting it slow you down as a failure. With such a poor mindset at Liahona especially towards the middle of my stay. I stayed at level 1 for 16 months. Probably a record not really a bragging thing tho. The point is I sucked at being a normal ass human. Full of attitude and was disobiedent with little to no respect given off the bat to any adult. Like I was the shit... When you're the shit you don't have the same problems that people who arent the shit have correct. So tying all the way back to the hospital metaphor with my secret broken leg. Honestly was probably secret to me as receiving the injuries throughout critical young developmental stages. I had alot of problems being honest because I was the shit and the shit wasnt supposed to be doing all this disgusting and sad. self demeaning outragous nasty stuff. thats all im gonna say. currently. im not ready to open up about my full past for i feel currently it lays at rest where it belongs until decieded otherwise by me. Now.. where were me. I was the shit. after coming out with stuff half assed in anattempt to still look kinda like the shit. they caught me on my bullshit and I spilled the beans. No longer was I the shit. I was shit. They broke me down emotionally. Making me write my story over and over again my entire life all the things I had ever done wrong. Each time I either came out with something new or changed something becasue everything I told my therapist was true but skewed and I lost track of my story. I had fucked myself and they gave me the rope to do it because they wanted me to earn my coniquences no have them given to me based on a hunch. I fucked myself. and unfortunately it was just he beginning for my emotional workouts. For the next two years. I trecked on. Fast forward july 2016 Im level 4 shadowing a new student with a level 3. us three since we are shadowing can talk in the room about rules only and how to teach them. while having our responsibilities with the quote aswell. at this point I could memorize anything. Memorized some crazy shit honestly wish that the content of the quote was more useful in a sense of remembering important things. or things that are commonly remembered by some idk. the point is we were aloud to talk about rules only. this didnt stay over time after me doing well getting to level fucking 4 this was huge for me and I had gotten comfortable and complacent in my position halting any further actions towards bettering myself everyday. exactly what they don't want you to do. We ended up flying our shadow solo which means hes a level one and we cant talk to him anymore and its cbo. basically hes in the big leagues now. But the level 3 and the other roommate who wasnt aloud to talk but was in the room while we shadowed the new student literally everyday for a month or two. And we all started breaking CBO together. basically we literally talked. about any and everything. Eventually getting comfortable doing that after a week or so couldnt have been too much longer than a week or two before guess who our same shadowed new student turns us in... Just like we had taught him to do. He was rewarded heavily. This was 1 july 2016. the 4th was parkers fav holiday does a shit ton of fun shit for everybody and everybody can talk water balloon fights watermelon eating contest hot dogs play basketball freely. fucking board games bro straight up. I had been at Liahona at this time for 2 about to be 3 Fourth of julys at Liahona and they just got better and better problem was I spent all 3 on work crew. top that off I spent all of July and into August on workcrew. It started off as suicide watch run risk and do nothing. literally as worse at it got. You can use the bathroom and sit in this chair. and you can sleep on this mattress with the fans and AC on with no blankets or pillows. So It stayed like that for  a week. Miserable completely miserable. I had finally started doing well got to level fucking four and im on work crew do nothing sui watch run risk and Ive been here for two years sleeping in the commons with no blanket or pillows shivering. Ill still never forget that day parker said I could choose to have a blanket or a pillow. FUCK U THINK? blanket. ez. I was literally giggling with joy that night under its warmth. That whole month slowly and slowly got increasingly easier on work crew and I didnt know why I was even still on It'd been a fucking month this was august 1st. The next day august 2nd 2016 Parker comes in and tells me im finally leaving. This was a really big day for me and brings to me currently some very strong emotions of relief and regret. For I hadn't completely wasted my time at Liahona but then again I typically in the past back then never completed anything. And honestly that is one of my bullshit things that I say to myself. and still have some belief in for good reason to gain perspective from it. Because unfortunately there are things in this world that are bad but also true. Thats just the way things work. There is good in bad and bad in good always. It may be hard to find or the pros out weigh the cons or vice versa. I see the bad, me not taking very good advantage at all of what Liahona had to offer for me at all times. However still gaining from it which is good aswell of course. But the bad being I did waste alot of my time. Now am I completely to blame for the duration of my time there. Yes because I made the decisions that led to me having to be there longer. honestly cause I needed to be there longer. Maybe a slight tiny bit of blame on my father for neglect to anextent of course when it came to life rules and making sure I know and remember them. But at the end of the day I kept myself on the wall and I have taken responsibility and if I havent i will now. I fucked up at liahona and I caused myself to be there for aslong as I was obviously not intentionally but for some reason. Cause I hated myself and nobody felt bad for me. I nolonger desire that attention. Because I know that If that attention is given to me in the quantity desired and by the form of attention inwhich idesired. Would inturn keep me immature as im hiding and nesting away from my feelings rather than pour them out and release the hate and sadness because its no good. it does no good besides grant perspective both to yourself and others. I never brag about giving to the homeless. Truly the reason I bring it up is because I may not have been homeless for very long or hadn't been homeless without atleast a couch or a garage to sleep in. But after enduring just that water down verison of being homeless. I know they need that damn money more than I do. Im not going to be unreasonable and give him everything I have on my card. but typically I give them at the minimum a cig if they want one and a conversation just cause people need to talk to people. whether they're drunk or not sad or happy talking turns our feelings into reality based on what you desire long term and short term almost combined in a way. You can switch up long term desires such as careers and lifestyles however it is not recommended. However also if you are still in a somewhat content mindset settling for like85 percent full on ur content scale. And this is what you need a little change up. Then by all means switch but keep the short term desires because those need to work first. Before you even decide what you want from life and ur existance ask yourself am I happy? If you are not atleast somewhat content with who you are an individual currently. You need to follow what I told you earlier. You need to dig deep in your heart and soul and mind. Focus on the center of your chest. thats where i feel my soul communicate to me. And i search it with my mind sending inquizitive thoughts to it for its response. Your body is a rosetta stone in a way for literal human communication (speech) and the vibrations of the universe. And vice versa. your body picks up things from the universe and world that it tells u. Maybe gut feelings? Hunches? A strong feeling for no reason??? EVERYTHING HAS A REASON. And if it isn't this than prove it to me. It proves itself and you can try it for yourself. Find contentment in your preplanned manifestation that we call "The Universe" by recognizing both your current insignificance in the real world possibly currently or maybe never; never in your mind atleast. But also your significance in how much control you have just because of what fucking species you are and all the things you can learn. Know you have significance because this is your world and you already chose how your life is going to end. What will last for you what won't. Because somebody (you u idiot) set it up to happen that way. Say you think im full of shit and just crazy. Let me ask you.... Lets just say for shits and giggles then, that you are God/ superior being so to speak. And you created everything we have ever known. Planets, plants, rocks .people communication, every conversation. EVERY FUCKING EVERYTHING WAS MADE BY YOU. so with that in mind given that and the vast amount of knowledge that comes with some power.literally unimaginable because we cant EVEN FUCKING COMPREHEND it.  ie You as God know that all good must have evil. So you realize large world thats actually rather small in comparison to alot of other fucking planets. Maybe it makes some people feel inferior maybe it turns people towards hate. But you decieded we're going to make a little safe haven whenthis random motherfucker wants to see if the world is flat. Killed all the indians. negative. USA positive. Rev war possibly hardcore karma for killing indians unlikely but it always is anyways. we win rev war Now we are free. Put Lepesh in free nation in 1999. He reconizes the power of the mind body and soul combined in the trinity. And wants to spread the message that you too can be happy. the suffering can end. Ive been diagonosed with depression add adhd odd ocd ptsd abcd u fucking name it. And they made a killing off of my parents. Granted I was a very problematic child so they started taking me in at a young age. over time with people telling me whats wrong with me. Yeah ima tell them to fuck off cause Im living the life i want to live. I may not know the consiquences are for me choosing to live like such. But I will and When I do I will weild that power given to me in knowledge and spread to you my wisdom. Speech isnt the only way to manifest things into your reality. Any human contact that can be described by and spoken with our apparently primitive words of any language. YOU MUST MEAN HOW YOU FEEL  Currently this is my world and universe because I value very few things about myself in the grand scheme of everything. Given that wouldn't I want the one thing I value a great deal to succeed and fulfill his dreams and have a goodass life? So thats what this mindset program will do. Others will use it becuase their kids are driving them up the walls and they just can't do it anymore. They're about to throw in the towel and don't know what to do anymore. Maybe its for somebody looking for love and they need to realize that u literally must love urself first. You cannot give what you donot already have. Unless you promiss to give which is an entire other problem in itself given that you can never give the love you want to give because you must find it for yourself by dedicating large amounts of time to yourself over time which you cannot do if ur constantly giving your feeling of infatuation and potential 'promise love' IE I promise you one day Ill love you but right now I cant cause I dont love myself. But I promise I will love myself but u wont. U simply wont. Until you learn your worth which by the fucking way bro. straight the fukc up listen. By the way. you decide your worth. The way you decide to change your worth is by finding the opposing core belief about urself the angelic side the white fluffy this is who I truly am side. The I wanna die fuck everything not even worth it this world isnt worth bringing anybody into is bullshit. However nesscessary for a short period for perspective and experiential sake. Bullshit. You manifested bullshit told to you over time in different ways. almost like taking pieces of gum out from underneath tables accorss every resturant you go through for example ur entire life. making a big ball of gross bullshit told to you in the forms of verbal abuse sexual physical. just bullshit. Best thing about bullshit is that it is always bad. The only good in the bad of bullshit is that it give great perspective and it helps this rant lol. Anyways, Realize that angelic force you hold and listen to your mind and heart tell you what you already know. and put it into action by reminding yourself about it as much as possible until its all you really think about. You'll notice key changes in yourself. Keep in mind these some of these effects happened immediately some over time some after forgetting my worth some during forgetting my worth.For myself after finding myself again focusing on the bullshit that isnt true. Radical difference in hesitation to speak to people. and to even what im going to speak. I used to care about everything and project that I care about nothing. It was fucking stupid sad and pretty pathetic actually. very sad now that I think about it. Pretending almost in a way. Sag my pants wear dark and almost shady clothing. ears pierced, quit sports, smoke weed, everything to say I don't give a fuck about anything at all ever and never will. I did it and said it. Of course with periods of absolute disbelief and saddness for I knew the whole time I was living a bullshit fabricated lie that directly stemmed from my self esteem issues and uncertainty in myself and the universe. Im very grateful for my current state of being however unsober. very very helpful and a clear message from myself that I believe I know what I need to do. Or what I want to do. But how? Im not worried about why because Its impossible and highly unlikely that the reason presents itself so early. And so it has before but many a few times and such a long time inbetween instances its almost radical to gamble on such things. Might aswell waste my time doing jack shit sitting on the fucking wall for no reason. Im going to end this in the same fashion I started it to an extent. Unexpected and unrehearsed and will summarize in steps how use this Mindset Program I designed to help those capable enough to over come depression and treat general unhappiness with the combined power of your heart mind and soul. Idk but i wasnt specifically planning on making a book for financial gain although it was a large contributing factor. and I as I sit here and think about what I typed it doesn't matter. Because regardless of what happens I wanted it to so it will in the exact way I want it to effect me. if at all idk if i will lol. Crazy man lifes a trip. I need money and i dont deserve it but I can say confidently currently right this moment I would spend my money according to what I desire in the long term. And it would help me start that journey so I may learn more. and continue to better myself as an individual everyday. or  at the very least do something that shows im a good person. In this world you have to keep your guard up not always but typically a great majority of the time. Given that, it's not hard to see why nobody trusts anybody on anything anymore. For a long time and still to this day a vast majority of humans have and will continue to act good but do bad consistently. They have simply been worshiping there bullshit thoughts. The best thing you can do for such a person who has potentially lost all hope. Or is on that path or near the end of it. Let that person know you love them. Only do so if you mean what you say tho. If you mean the words and they are looking at you when you say it. They will straight the fuck up feel your love. Might not be a fucking serotonin shot but its a little love that they will feel and remind them. Its never too late to change your mindset and find empathy for yourself and the world. Here are the current Finalized step by step instructions on how to use my newly developed highly successful Mindset Program. Guarenteeed to bring about contentment and feelings of joy to those who complete and follow these steps completely... 1.)FIRST OFF DO NOT READ THIS SHIT IF YOU AREN'T OPEN-MINDED OR YOU'LL NEVER HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO LEARN IT AGAIN, WAIT UNTIL YOU GET YOURSELF ATLEAST SOMEWHAT UNDERCONTROL.2.)EMPATHY Either Already have or Develop a very hardcore understanding and knowledge of empathy by having gratitude through perspective that you must gain. Gaining perspective can happen in a number of ways. The misfortunate are a great way to lead you to happiness. By giving away your money need it or not. who needs it more. and what are they spending it on. If you were homeless outside in january wouldnt you want to be drunk? you were gonna buy a steak and lobster dinner that night anyway even if you didnt have the 10$ cash you gave to Michael by the dumpster. That inturn puts you indebt in a way to the universe. Almost saying this guy will get something good from this at some point in his life. Could be your friend buying your next meal or an invitation to a crazy party. who knows and who knows when its going to happen. we don't the beauty of it is that you know its coming in some shape or form. infact it might have already paid its debt by making you feel better when you did it???? Put yourself in less fortunate peoples shoes. Take acid as much as you can within reason obviously you don't wanna end up fried as fuck. But definitely trip balls man go learn about yourself and the world. Acid is a key to more knowledge. You swim in it but its like trying to bring water (the knowledge) with you when you get out of the pool. You can never even get close to obtaining all of that knowledge. I just needed enough to know that my life isn't completely fucking worthless cause I truly can control my life and you can control yours. Is so empowering to see it happen first hand. To see success finally coming and showing itself after all this time. The worst part is I knew all of this shit long ago. I was told this stuff in Liahona and They knew we didn't fully get it yet. Now I get it. Finally. wtf. I can control my own life.3.)SEARCH YOUR SOUL WITH YOUR MIND. Literally ask yourself questions like a literal one sided conversation. Ask yourself. What do I desire in my life most? For me? Wife car house maybe a farm cat dog fucking dont care whatever she wants the house to look like. two cars actually. I want a boat. and a stable well paying job and some kickass kids. When do I want it to happen. I decided that before I was here. Because I was apart of the aliens maybe idk lol just a thought. Maybe they let me choose they were like yo man this is where ur coming into this planet. they're dumb but think they're really smart and theres lots of chaos they're pretty bad animals i know its a bad gig to send you into but if you like what you can make happen go for it. I wouldn't come into this world unless I knew that things would work out for me at some point. and idk if today is the day but ive realized again what I had already realized but soon forgotten about over a month after. Either from complacentcey or just down right bad memory. Either way I forgot the path and Now I am back.4.)YOU ARE LOOKING FOR THE GOOD IN THE BAD AND THE BAD IN THE GOOD For example, for me my bads are so seldom compared to what some people across the universe go through on a daily basis. I have it so good already. Now compared to the rest of my country.. yeah Im not doing very well financially or on some of the selfs. I have the mental capcity and emotional knowledge and strength currently developed from years of deep depression and sadness. Drug abuse and wanting to be numb. Wanting to die or hurt myself. Here I am reconizing the bad in my life the symptoms of listening and believing other peoples bullshit. Reconizing that the bullshit isnt true and was never true. sometimes reconizing a genreal date that you remember yourself starting to believe what people bullshit to you about yourself. Maybe you remember how you felt about yourself before someone called you fat or ugly or hurt u in some way. Remember previous relationships that have cut u deep over time and may even hurt a bit to think about. Remember the fighting and bullshit. But most importantly remember the good times. Ive caught myself many times forgetting the numerous good times had with previous loved ones in almost a desperate attempt to save yourself. Its a protection tactic that completely stops any and all emotional grow. The only way you get stronger is if you do the work. Just like at the gym the only way you get a ripped ass chest or a 6 pack is by doing the fucking work and lifting it. There is no short cut that is worthwhile longterm. Roids give you boobs and shrink ur balls now ur shot on the kids Idea cause u tried to take a shortcut. Same with emotions. using heroin was a big thing for me for awhile i was at a point where I knew it was stopping me from growing emotionally. Because it doesn't allow you to feel anything. you feel numb you don t care. when I took heroin I felt like I really was who I said I was. I overdosed a few months ago and died onheroin. started using again a couple days later. I stopping in November and id be lying if I said it wasnt brutal. so sure I tried to numb the pain with other things. Alcohol is a big one coke, meth, lots and lots of weed, anything that would or could alter my mind besides heroin is what Ive been doing.  Now none of these things are beneficial in the long term except for weed and acid maybe coke if the universe allows it. The opportunity that you desire would not present itself to you without you first creating the desire. I have a desire for drugs. So I have drugs. But Im at the very least smart enough to realize that heroin is if not a complete block of emotions pretty damn fucking close to it. which allows for significantly less emotion growth through the actual feeling of your feelings and emotions. Another big thing that can help is talking about what you discovered about yourself all the bullshit you believed and the statements you have in place to replace them. My previous statement for example Im a fucking loser thats never going to amount to shit. My angelic statement, I've made many mistake and failures in my life at a young age that I wouldn't trade for the world for they have development me into me. You've made it this far havent you?5.) USE YOUR TRINITY TO TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE STARTING BY FINDING WHAT WORKS FOR YOU TO HAVE A CONSTANT REMINDER. Basically this means find a way to take your new angelic statement created from the good inside the bad and either associate that statement to whatever you see best fit. For example. I have an alarm in the morning that reads! Choose to be happy! with some other notes aswell. And I read that I think to myself. Its a choice. I can use my mind to change my reality over time based on how I feel. I DONT HAVE TO BE SAD ANYMORE BECAUSE I HAVE THE DESIRES IN MY LIFE THAT PULL ME TOWARDS THEM THROUGH MY DECISIONS AND ACTIONS CURRENTLY.
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