#as well as the ones for mayo and such. like yeah. he really does need mayo

[autistme]

i think my favorite part from when i was just getting into coheed was without a doubt when i was Trying My Best to Figure Out The Plot And Lore and having to scour genius annotations. like reading Creature Is Vowing To Help Sister Spider Escape From The Dark Sentencer in the the odd hours of the night was a formative experience for me. like it is absolutely a correct explanation of a lyric like those characters Are Named That and are Doing That. but you cant just say that sentence to me and not expect me to giggle a little bit. you cant expect me to not add that to my echolalia bank. Creature Is Vowing To Help Sister Spider Escape From The Dark Sentencer.

#IT JUST HAS A RING TO IT #as well as the ones for mayo and such. like yeah. he really does need mayo #i cant stress enough i love this so much

[pryllee]

Delirious

Blade x Fem! Reader

Blades kinda ooc, slight mention/use of ’red string’ theory, feelings became mutual, slight use of daydreaming/delusions, stellaron hunters, kinda took inspo from smt. Reader was set up lowkey. Reader taking the initiative for a kiss??? , also not proofread

A/N: Kinda hate this with the weird often transitions and overuse of some words, I don't have that big of a vocabulary though so...

——

Working under a slave of destiny was... interesting? Kind of. The thought of warping to every planet every week or so really wasn't for you.

However, the one colleague that always caught your eye was Blade. You couldn't help but be drawn to him for some reason—like you were attached to him, his blank expression was indeed odd but it lowkey is hot.

And you also couldn't help but imagine that thin line on his face slightly tilting upwards into a small smile if he ever felt the same about you.

You always saw him somewhere or had an encounter with him almost everyday, till one had a girl in it, oh Aeons. Recounting the memory is already such a pain.

During one of the missions you'd been assigned to with him, a pair of girls talking saw him in one of his... ’disguises’ yet one whispered to the other making the other laugh hitting at the girls back, as they looked back with a look of admiration, you shot them a death stare back.

"What?" He asked. And you shook your head in response with a visible annoyed frown on your face.

"How come you're acting like a child again? I won't know what to say if you don't speak." Bit unusual he seemed to talk more this time to engage in a convo.

He clearly still remembered that time where you didn't talk to him for days on end because his replies were so unbelievably dry like you didn't matter—well technically you didn't...or don't really matter to him... And that does hurt a bit.

"Nothing. Those girls prob' would've reported us if they found out." Making up an excuse on the spot, a dumb one infact.

—

Yet somehow, you ended up in this position where Silver Wolf was ordering French fries, nuggets, and a large bucket of mayo.

"... Do you really need that much mayo?"

"Yeah, what about it?" She asked, clicking her tongue. "Nothing..." You irked up a brow seemingly disgusted at the taste of so much mayonnaise on one nugget, or fry.

"I'll get an iced coffee," Kafka smiled.

You glanced at Blade, still with a monotone face as usual. "...What about you?" You said in a quizzical tone, leading him to shake his head slightly in response like a statue... A perfect scuplture in fa— I mean...

You sat opposite of Kafka, and Silver Wolf. Still seemingly irked at the bucket of Mayo as she dips a nugget double fry combo in it... well more like drowning it.

You glanced over your shoulder, looking at Blade who still just stood as still as a statue.

"What?" He scowled, avoiding your gaze to look out the rain filled window. "Why come if you won't even have anything...?" You said, popping a single fry into your mouth.

"Because–" He paused. "Because what?" Again having him shake his head slightly in response. The sudden change of behavior was peculiar to you, was this really the same ”Blade” you knew... ? Feels like the real ones probably locked up away somewhere else.

"Calm down, hes real." Kafka waved at you knowingly,

"Kafkas right–" Silver Wolf mumbled, still eating with a bulge showing through her cheeks "Whenever you look at Blade, your thoughts become kinda obvious."

Her words made you flush a slight red, as you swiftly grabbed alot of fries and nuggets drowning them in Mayo shoving it in her mouth making her choke a little,

"Ugh— Do you want me dead?!" She complained, holding on her slightly sore throat, while Kafka decided to observe for a little longer sipping on her coffee.

"No, just bothered me how little you take a time but drown it in SO much mayo." You replied, making Kafka chuckle a little.

"I do NOT drown my food in sauce! It's a perfectly fine amount!" She slammed her hands on the table, making the food fling up shortly as you slammed on the table back in response.

"Oh reeeaaally? How come?" You spoke through clenched teeth, "Listen to me, calm down you two." Kafka waved her hand, as you both sunk back into your seats.

"That bad, hm?" Blade asked in a dull tone.

"Shut up before I forcefully shove fries and a nugget down your throat too." You threatnened, as he shot a look of; ’Try me.’ making you furrow your brows in annoyance pouting slightly in sarcasm as you looked away.

Suddenly someone gripped onto your chin, making you turn to them as they forced a nugget into your mouth. "Too bad, I did it first." He spoke, yet this time it was in a different tone—a smug one that pissed you off. You felt like tearing his vocal cords off but you're actually somewhat surprised he ’fed’ you something.

"Ooh...~" Silver Wolf teased with the ’also smug smile’. "Shut." You bit your lip in embarrassment, as you fiddled with your fingers. You wondered what his lips would taste like—hoping for an occasion for you both to be alone as... Ahem.

Your train of thought is interrupted as someone busts the door open making you jerk upwards a little at the sound, screaming for the ’intergalatic criminals’ or whatever to come out.

"Uugggghhgghg..." Silver Wolf groaned, "We barely even ate any, can't I just bring this with me?"

"Just store it in your technique menu console thing, can't you do that?" You asked, as she shook her head a doubtful ’no’.

"Dunno, don't think so. I'll eat this basket of fries on the go." She said as she dumped the whole bucket of Mayo making you irk up a brow once again.

"You four, hands up!" The officer demanded, but Blade almost instantly just threw his sword into the poor guys chest hurrying you to get out of the booth so he could take it back.

You felt a small lump in your throat as he pulled out the sword, blood pooling out from under the officer.

"Don't feel bad now," Kafka whispered into your ear, softly saying your name. As Silver Wolf opened up a path to somewhere else. "C'mon, hurry."

You took one last glance at the people in the place, seeing their bewildered faces were kind of laughable.

But why exactly does Silver Wolf need to worry about the food if she can just open a path up...?

—

You sat down on the grassy field, staring into the sky seemingly in a daze with the scenic location.

"Where are we?" You asked Silver Wolf.

"Dunno, just chose a random spot that looked nice so I could eat my food 'n peace. Kinda sucks though since it's making my fries cold and soggy."

"You shouldn't have poured the whole bucket of Mayo on it..." You criticized, making her scoff in response. You just sat there, admiring the sunset with how wide this field of grass was. It felt soft to the touch, so peaceful. If you were apart of the Garden of Recollection you would probably engrave this into your mind forever as you sat on a small hill.

You felt someone obviously staring at you, causing you to glance over at the source as you just make eye contact with Blade before he turns around, walking away to Aeons know where.

"Where are you going, Bladie?" Kafka asks, turning around making him pause for a bit. "Somewhere. Oddly familiar with this place."

You actually somewhat could relate. This place felt nostalgic with a sliver of mechanoly hidden in it. It feels like you've been here before.

"Enjoying the place I picked out?" The silver haired asked, as you just reluctantly nod even though you clearly knew it was meant to lowkey mock you...

"I'm gonna go find a spot to try play the Violin." Kafka hummed, walking away to somewhere nearby where she'd still be in sight but as a small figure.

The abrupt change from a weird restaraunt with a mix of a cafe due to the iced coffee to such a calming nostalgic place was odd, but you see weirder things everytime on a mission, so who are you to complain?

Hearing the soft yet elegant demeanor thrumming of a violin made the atmosphere all more peaceful. It perplexes you though, how come it's so... Quiet and nice here? This is like a ’once in a life time chance’.

The bodies of water drew you in though, causing you to go closer when you hear a muffled yell from behind,

"Don't go near the water!" It sounded like Silver Wolf, but her voice rang in your ears sharply, and you touch the clear water with the colors of a pretty sunset. It looked like one of those art pieces a true master would make back in the old days really—

As you come back to your senses when you hear loud rhythms of thuds behind you—presumably footsteps, the body of water drags you in shocking you.

"What the fuck?—" You spoke, yet it echoed out loud and clear. You were stuck in some weird place under the water, but somehow could breathe freely.

Being in such a narrow place wasn't your cup of tea though, the thought of being stuck here in such a small place made your eyes narrow speeding up your beating hearts pace. Suddenly, your surroundings change to a cave, with Blade inspecting some weird murals on the walls.

"...Uhm. Blade?" You asked, cocking your head to the side perplexed. Blade seemingly immersed in observing the mural, you suddenly realize it felt like he was stuck in place—yet his head slightly turned around to glance at you when the water spat you out abruptly.

You coughed up some water aggressively still confused as fuck, "What just happened? Why was Blade looking at a dang wall?" You shake your head, trying to dry off thinking it'll work with you even though it's mainly for dogs...

"... Uhh, you saw Blade?" Silver Wolf asked in a concerned tone as she whispered something to Kafka. Your confusion only got worse when Kafkas expression was slightly changed to show a slight sliver of surprise.

"Oh my!" The lady laughed in a teasing manner, "I never thought you really knew Blade that way."

Processing what she said for a second, your cheeks suddenly dusted a low tint of red as you try to play dumb thinking what you think it might be, "What? Knew what about Blade?"

—

While Blade noticed your figure, seemingly stuck in a box floating with your hair drifting upwards as you held your palms out but seemed to be restricted.

He was slightly confused seeing your wide eyed expression, as he was about to call your name out in a quizzical tone, you disappeared.

As worried as he was, he tried to find his way back to where you all warped to.

"What happened?" He asks, having Silver Wolf say nothing happened, yet as he recounts the previous memory both of the girls eyes widen with a ’knowing’ look.

"Oh, I see...! I think we should, uhm, go back now to the base!" Silver Wolf spoke in an awkward tone, making both of you confused, well you can't see if Blade really was confused or not... It's like he has no face muscles to smile. You just nod in response running your fingers through your wet hair.

—

A few days had passed again, after that... Water incident. From time to time Kafka and Silver Wolf would smile and laugh about something whenever you and Blade were there.

Silver Wolf had asked you to do something—which was to give something to him. Apparently from Elio or whatever. You found yourself growing tired when you looked through each corridor and room till you realized he was probably out on the rooftop. Ugh, seriously?

Opening the door, you finally found him...with a girl?

Are you seeing things right? A girl. Presumably one of the other newer colleagues, was laughing and smiling with him. You had no idea what his expression was since his back was turned.

You felt your heart drop as you clearly saw her hand over a letter with a heart stamp seal.

Too bad you couldn't back out in handing whatever Silver Wolf gave you to him now if it really is one of Elios.

Putting on a fake measly smile, you walked closer as you called out to him saying Silver Wolf had something to give to him. Ugh. Couldn't she have sent it through the phone if it's a text?

"Hm—What is that...?" The girl pouted making you cringe a little. And you take that as your cue to leave, telling them to have a ’good’ time walking away back to the door with an empty pit inside of your stomach.

Yet when you need to close the door you somehow accidentally slammed it loudly, making a loud noise echo in 'n out as you hurried down stairs before someone went to check making you embarrassed.

You then find Silver Wolf in the same spot, reporting to her that her dumb request is done.

"Huh? Whats with the sudden gloomy vibe? You were so carefree when I asked you like 30 minutes ago." She asked, blowing gum before it popped taking it back inside her mouth chewing it.

"What gloomy vibe? I'm the same as before." Putting on a fake annoyed smile again at her remark making her tell you to chill and you could go.

As you closed the door behind you in your room, you threw yourself into the bed screaming into your pillow.

It didn't matter how much you'd scream since this place is soundproof for ’disguise’.

"Who the actual FUCK was that bitch?!" You spoke in a mildly loud annoyed tone, scratching your head aggressively messing up a part of your hair when you suddenly hear a few rhythmical knocks on your door. Who the crack could it be now?

You unlock the door, opening it to see Kafka wave as she sat down on your bed inviting herself inside.

"I didn't say you could come in." You scoffed.

"Thats true, but were you the one who slammed the door to the rooftop?" She asked, looking at you with those same gentle hypnotizing eyes tilting her heading slightly. The question embarrassed you, how does she even know that?

"... How do you know that?"

"Silver Wolf. Blade. Girl." She listed how one by one, as you shot her a confused look.

"Doesn't matter though, I just needed to know that—but another thing, why slammed the door after confessing to him?"

Confessing? Confess what? What exactly did you give to him that Silver Wolf wanted you to hand over?

"What?" You deadpan.

"Oh, y'know... The thing. The thing you gave to him." She recounted your memory of it as you felt yourself flush a bright red, yelling at her to get out and that you have NO idea what shes talking about as you lock the door again in a hurry to go to sleep and forget.

Since it was finally the time for the sweeeeet time off, you could just relax at the base—however your encounters with him became more frequent.

As you saw him with Kafka following from behind from afar in a corridor slowly walking closer, also remembering what Kafka said, and how Blade seemed to look at you differently. You instantly turned the other way walking to the closest next hallway you could find trying to avoid his sight.

"Hmm? Thats odd, she usually joins us for a walk when you're here, Bladie."

But he just stays silent, seemingly confused at why you walked away so quickly when you saw him and you were clearly trying to go somewhere. He only continued to walk without a word assuming you went the wrong way

However, that same thought couldn't be kept with how frequent your "wrong ways" became.

When you sat down for a leisure cup of coffee with Kafka and Silver Wolf, you somehow knew he was behind you, but not too close or too far. You glugged the piping hot cup down your throat not caring about the after effects, as you slam your hands down onto the table; "I need to go, just remembered something important."

"Hm? Is it not a good time to relax?" Kafka spoke with a clear sarcastic tone, leading you to swiftly walk away with a hurting mouth, throat, and stomach.

The loud slam caught his attention, noticing how you walked away in a hurry was out of character for you. Don't you usually like coffee times where you three sit down to talk about stuff? Well I guess it should be more like ’tea’ time. Haha, get it?

And another, when you were in your room just chilling sitting in front of your desk on your phone, you heard a few knocks. You asked who was there, but in response was pure silence. So you just reluctantly open the door.

Looking down, "Yes, whos there..." speaking with a lazy tone with a sliver of annoyance looking up to find their eyes, you immediately slammed the door locked when it was Blade who was about to speak.

You immediately curled up into a ball in front of the door out of pure embarrassment. When you finally heard footsteps going away, you got up with extreme wobbling legs walking to your bed.

Also after that, you stayed in your room for the whole day ignoring any knocks on your door, even if it was rhythmical probably being Kafka or a barrage of impatient knocks which was usually Silver Wolf.

And one of the most recent ones were much like the first, in a corridor. You were trying to find a vending machine when you saw him heading your way. His eyes somewhat seemed to light up slightly when he noticed you.

But you were not gonna walk away this time—instead of that, you avoided making eye contact as you kept walking in the same direction, completely ignoring him.

He was shocked, genuinely. Probably pissed too. Why are you the one ignoring him after you'd basically confessed to him? You were talking to everyone expect him.

Blade couldn't help but realize how genuinely depressing his already annoying life was without you, though he knew he couldn't have any of those feelings again with how he planned to finally die after finishing whatever Elio promised.

But it hurt a little. It wasn't fair. Wasn't fair for neither of you. Why even are you avoiding him if you like him so much? At some times you think about finally talking to him and he'd accept your feelings—but you brushed that ’useless’ thought away assuming he thinks you're a creep for wanting him...especially with the weird fantasies you've had.

–

Kafka eventually noticed Blade seeming to be more out of it than usual. It looked like he was sulking hugging his almost broken sword as he leaned against a pillar.

"Uh. What's wrong with him...?" Silver Wolf pointed his peculiar behavior out. Kafka only shrugged in response with a concerned sigh, "Whats wrong, Bladie?"

"Nothing." He mumbled to himself.

"Oh please, I feel like shes influenced you with the blatant lying." Silver Wolf scoffed, clearly referring to you.

"Speaking of her, is she the reason?" Kafka took a turn to ask. But he was just silent. Probably thinking if you really are the reason.

"I'm guessing thats a yes." Kafka smiled, "Lets go find her, shall we?" Gesturing for Blade to follow. Silver Wolf only stayed behind knowing exactly why.

–

"So, why are you avoiding Blade?" She asked, with the atmosphere being tense as Blade just sat Beside you. You were sandwiched in the middle by these people.

You had no way to escape now. Your heart thrummed heavily.

"I don't know what you're talki–."

"You've been avoiding me for almost the whole break." Blade interrupted with a stern tone making the atmosphere worse making your eye twitch from how awkward it was.

"I'll leave the room so you two can be more honest with each other." Kafka abruptly got up, as your hand extended out slightly to tell her to stay with how you didn't want to stay here all alone with him, but your voice felt like it disappeared when you saw him staring at your hand from the side.

"Ah..." You mumbled, taking your hand back placing it on your lap trying to avoid making eye contact.

"Why?" He asked, leaving you confused.

"Why what...?"

"The ’avoiding’." He quoted, like it was a movie title for some reason.

"I—...uhm. Thats erm." You tried to find a good excuse for the moment, but the way he suddenly placed his hand on one of yours made you speechless.

Why the actual fuck is he suddenly so intimate? Well I guess Kafka could've gave him a tip or two.

"Do you wanna... kiss?" He bluntly asked, making you cringe a little in perplexation. What exactly type of tips did Kafka give him? Like the consent thing is nice and all but...???????????

You sigh, since hes the one that asked, I guess it won't really matter.

You grab onto his collar with both hands pulling him closer, kissing him like an amateur. As you pull away you feel yourself heat up when you clearly see his frown slightly lift into a small—almost unnoticeable smile.

He kisses you back this time, as your grip on him loosened melting into the kiss. You knew he couldn't hug you due to the injuries on his body, but it's fine.

Nothing else mattered. Atleast for now.

–

But for some reason, you only got shyer from there. Sure you've always wanted to be with him but...

Blade would randomly hold onto your hand sometimes and you'd shake it off quickly with a bright red face. He didn't find it offensive at all, more like he found it funny. His expressions were still pretty much blank around you but it was still nice to see a small smile a few select of times.

It didn't help with how he only got bolder from there—randomly kissing you during missions leaving either Silver Wolf or Kafka in a state of shock if they happened to see it.

Silver Wolf would just walk away in disgust and tell you both to go get a room. Well, in a joking manner.

Kafka would laugh and tease about it for a whole week making you pissed, it didn't help with how Blade managed to be there by your side each time too.

"Stop following me around like a lost puppy..." You spoke in a low, awkward tone.

"I'm pretty sure you like that."

"Touché– But don't you have anything else to do other than cling onto me whenever we see each other?"

"I do. I just like doing it with you."

First of all, that sentence was horribly worded. Sure he had no idea what it sounds like, but you on the other hand imploded into a red brighter like nothing else before.

"Wrong phrasing, Blade." Silver Wolf replied for you.

Till one thought came to you... What happened to that girl that confessed to him?

——

hint: someone killed her :)

#prylleewrites—✮ #blade x reader #blade x reader hsr #honkai star rail x reader #blade x afab reader #blade x fem reader #blade x afab! reader #blade x fem! reader

[nobody-expects-the-inquisitorius]

TBB Incorrect Quotes, Part 16

Hunter: Please, Crosshair, after everything we’ve been through together. You can’t do this. Crosshair: I’m sorry Hunter Hunter: I’m begging you. Don’t do it. Crosshair: It has to be done. Hunter: Crosshair: Hunter: Crosshair: *Places +4* Uno.

Wrecker, dashing into the room: WHY AREN’T THE DISHES IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER?! Echo: …What does that even mean?!

Hunter, talking to Tech: They're trying to lure me into a false sense of security! Well, joke’s on them! I’ve never been secure in my life! And I’m not about to start now!

Crosshair: They called me the B-word. Echo: Motherfucker doesn’t start with ‘b’.

Echo: So my therapist was talking to me and she said that I really just need to break down my walls and let people in. Echo: So I’ve decided to break the fourth wall. Echo: *looks at camera* Hi there. I use humor as a coping mechanism.

Crosshair: Quick! You must come with me! You're in great danger! Tech: Why?! Crosshair: Because I’ll kill you if you don’t.

Wrecker: ‘Technically legal’, the two best words in the the English language, right before ‘cowboy spectacular.'

Crosshair: Hey, are you alright with swearing? Asking for a friend. Hunter: Yeah? Crosshair: Bitch.

*Echo, Wrecker, and Tech are playing poker. Tech is winning by a long shot.* Echo: Aw, come on. Wrecker: It’s not fair! He doesn’t even know what we’re playing! Tech: Go Fish?

Tech: Do you want this handful of moss? Crosshair: Why would I want a handful of fucking moss? Tech: Damn, you could’ve just said no.

Crosshair: You say “Please” and “Thank you” in front of Omega all the time, and she never repeats it. Crosshair: But you call Hunter “Ass-faced motherfucker” ONE TIME…

Crosshair: All I did was kill people, is that really such a crime? Hunter:  Hunter: Yes?!

Wrecker: Respect my trans homies or I’m gonna identify as a fucking problem.

Echo: Are you free tomorrow? Crosshair: No, I’m fucking expensive every day.

Omega: How do you type so fast? Echo: Anxiety.

Wrecker: Wanna hear some dark humor. Echo: Yeah, I love dark humor. Wrecker: Alright. Wrecker: *Turns off the lights* Wrecker: Knock knock. Echo: Turn the damn lights back on.

Crosshair: Sometimes I like to call people by the wrong name to show them I don’t care about them. Hunter: That’s brilliant. Crosshair: Thank you, Tech.

Hunter: You're ignoring all your problems. Echo: I know. Hunter: You also know it's an unhealthy coping mechanism? Echo: I'm ignoring that fact as well. Hunter:

Wrecker, playing a video game: How do I play? *Wrecker has drawn first blood!* *Wrecker is on a killing spree!* *Wrecker is on a rampage!* *Wrecker is unstoppable!* *Wrecker is dominating!* *Wrecker is godlike!* Wrecker: Don’t worry guys, I figured it out.

Crosshair: *Hugs Tech from behind* Crosshair: *Tucks Tech's hair behind his ear* Crosshair, whispering: Eat all the frosted animal crackers again and they'll never find your body.

Omega: Did you know spiders can hold 8 guns at once? Wrecker: How does it WALK?? Omega: Omega: Did you know spiders can hold 7 guns at once?

Echo: Tech? You just drove through a stop sign without stopping. Tech: I'll stop twice on the way back.

Crosshair: I’ve been described as a ‘heartless villain’ and a 'little shit’, but I prefer… 'has alternative ways of having fun’.

Crosshair: CHARACTER. FLAWS. ARE. FUCKING. IMPORTANT. Wrecker: Me when someone tells me to stop eating mayo packets like they’re gogurt tubes.

Hunter: One time I went to hand Wrecko a bowl of soup. I wanted to say “Careful, it’s hot!”, and “Here’s your soup!” at the same time, so instead I blurted out “Careful! It’s soup”.

Hunter: And what did we learn, Crosshair? Crosshair: Tackling someone isn’t the correct response to being asked a simple question.

Crosshair, proudly: I slept. Tech: Is that so much of a rare thing that you have to say it?

Tech: Things will get better! Tech: Tech: Okay, maybe they won’t. Tech: But they will be terrible in new and interesting ways!

Echo: I am not an early bird or a night owl. I am some form of permanently exhausted pigeon.

Crosshair: Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to fear how much they love me.

Omega, looking at a map: It’s a barren, featureless wasteland out there, isn't it? Hunter: Other side, Omega...

Hunter: Can you be serious for five minutes? Wrecker: My record is four, but I think I can do it.

Echo: I’ve come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than fuck.

Omega: Your smile looks forced. Crosshair: That’s because it is.

Echo: So what’s for dinner? Wrecker: I can’t tell you, it’s a soup-prise! Echo: … Echo: Is it soup? Wrecker: I soup-pose it could be! *winks* Echo: Please, enough with the soup puns! Wrecker: Wow, you’re soup-per mean. Echo: STOP! *one hour later* Echo: It’s fucking tacos?!?!?!

Crosshair, to Hunter: Well, one of us has to be wrong and it’s not going to be me.

Omega, running: Slow down, Tech, I can’t ketchup! Tech, not slowing down: You’ll just have to use all the strength you can mustard.

Echo: Get in the Halloween spirit and make a ghost! Hunter: That’s called murder and I heard somewhere that it was illegal.

Tech: I’m going to get so much done today. Hunter: I’ll hold you to that. *8 hours later* Hunter: So how much did you get done? Tech: One thing. Hunter: Well, that’s one more than usual.

Crosshair: If Wrecker says he'll be ready in five minutes, he will be. Crosshair: No need to remind him every fifteen minutes about it.

Tech: If there are no questions, we’ll move on to the next chapter. Crosshair: I have a question. Tech: Certainly, Crosshair. What is it? Crosshair: What’s the point of human existence? Tech: I meant any questions about the subject at hand. Crosshair: Oh. Crosshair: Frankly, I’d like to have the issue resolved before I expend any more energy on this.

Omega: What’s the difference between a stalagmite and a stalactite? Tech: “Stalagmite” has an “m” in it.

Wrecker: I don’t think we can mansplain, manipulate, or malewife our way out of it this time. Crosshair: *cracks knuckles* Manslaughter it is!

Hunter: Look, I know we don’t always see eye to eye but— Crosshair: Thats because you're too short to do so. Hunter: …Listen here you fucking—

Tech: Wake up! The sun is shining! Crosshair: What do you want me to do, photosynthesis?

Omega: Will Crosshair be okay? Echo: He won’t be when I find him.

#star wars #incorrect quotes #incorrect bad batch quotes #tbb incorrect quotes #the bad batch #tbb #hey this has been in my drafts for aaages i forgot it existed

[pianocat939]

Hiya! I had a request for the Rise!Turtles with a MC who shows affection through randomly head butting them (softly), holding their hand out of nowhere, or saying their name randomly from time to to time-

Oh! They also like to poke or touch their face but will ask first if they are okay with it beforehand

You can decide if you want to take this idea in a yandere direction or not <3

This is my non-yan request in a while, always nice to change genres occasionally.

Rats Live In My Locker:

I would say he's the 2nd most physically affectionate of the four. So he likes the hand-holding and soft head butts.

As he is spikey, he's careful not to bump into you at the wrong angle. Same with hand-holding, as his hand is much larger than yours.

His tail might wag a little when you call him "Raph". But if you call him "Raphie" or some other pet name he's going to be all blushy-dushy.

Is confused at first, but finds it cute that you want to poke/touch his face.

"Hm? What is it?" Raph asks, staring at you.

"Nothing. I just wanted to hold your hand." You lightly squeeze his hand, a silent gesture of affection.

He bends down and nuzzles your cheek, letting out little churrs. "Aw...Thanks."

L'Oreal Squid Ink Cream:

Finds the headbutting a little annoying, but hand-holding is definitely liked. He likes to pet your knuckles whenever you put together the handsies.

Boosts his ego a little whenever you call his name randomly, especially if you say some shit like "My champion" or some other title (he's super fucking self-conscious so it's nice to have a little love).

You don't even have to ask to touch his face! As many of us know, Red-Eared Sliders court others by waving their hands in front of faces and touching them. So it's very well welcomed by Leo.

"Leo, come here." You call out, trying to catch his attention.

He saunters over, grinning lazily, "Yeah?"

You reach up and give his face a few taps, gently drumming your fingers against his skin.

"Hm~ You know how to make my day, don't you?"

Decorative Mayo Baby Figurines:

Alright, we have come to the man who does not like physical touch. Here's the thing, no he doesn't prefer it, but at times he will indeed allow you to touch him (just as he does with Mikey).

I would say hand-holding is ok, headbutting is a little iffy, and definitely, no touching the face.

Reacts indifferently to the name-calling, but if it's a pet name then he might crack a smile.

Once in a blue moon, he'll hold your hand first. And when he does, you better fucking cherish it.

"What's the occasion?" You look down at your intertwined hands, slightly flustered.

He hesitates, turning away, "Nothing...Just felt a little lonely, that's all."

"Well, I appreciate that you're willing to let me hold your hand."

"Mh." He grunts, feeling timid.

Morphine Grandma Ate Wood:

We all know he loves physical affection. It's literally his love language. So headbutting, hand-holding, touching his face, he indulges himself.

Lets out very loud chirps and churrs when you hold his hand, it's his favourite of the three actions. Might envelop you into a hug on impulse.

Whenever you give the tappies to his face he'll sneak a peck or two because he's a little devious. And when I say one or two, it can be either one or two, or a thousand. He just really loves giving you kisses for no reason.

You gently headbutt his head, startling him a little. "Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

He turns to face you before quickly giving a kiss on your cheek, grinning brightly. "No worries. I was just caught off-guard, that's all."

"You're a dork."

"Indeed I am."

——————————————————

Need sleep. But I loved doing this!

- Celina

#rottmnt #rottmnt x reader #tmnt #tmnt x reader #tmnt 2018 #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #leo #donnie #mikey #raph

[ncityavenue]

𝙍𝙀𝙇𝘼𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉𝙎.

These are random things you'd do in a relationship with the members of NCT 127!

───────────────────────

TAEIL

Probably listen to random music, like you suggest some of your music to him and y'all just start vibing to it. Lowkey wake up the whole entire house bc for some reason y'all do it in the morning rather than the afternoon or the night😭(This is probably motivated by Taeil's relay cam where he dances to that hype music with Yuta💀). Shhh he's a The Weeknd fan now🤞🏾

JOHNNY

He gives the vibe of someone that just gets up and wants to go somewhere (Yuta as well) he'll just be like "Yo, you wanna go to that new restaurant that opened last week?" And it kinda doesn't matter if you say no or yes, you're going bc he persuades you anyway. Who knows? You might be featured on a ep of JCC🤭

TAEYONG

The Original plan was to watch mean girls but now y'all watching 365 days🚪🚶🏾‍♀️.... Then y'all watching Sleep away Camp#1. The point is that y'all never follow the original plan to dates(?) Or nights where you wanna relax together. BACK TO 365 DAYS😭 Y'all don't finish it bc Johnny walks in on y'all watching and he doesn't even really pay attention to it but taeyong is too embarrassed so y'all end up watching a horror movie👏🏾

YUTA

(THERE'S SO MUCH I CAN SAY ABT HIM—)

Y'all have deep conversations, LIKE DEEP. It can be about you guys, the world, friendships,social media, politics, etc. It always starts at 11:00pm way after everyone is already asleep and lasts for a good 5 hours..7 if you're lucky😋🤞🏾. Very touchy during the convos, that's probably bc Yuta is a very affectionate person. Then y'all end up being the last ones awake in the morning 🙇🏾‍♀️

DOYOUNG

Shopping is probably something y'all do alot, it could be grocery or clothing. He looks like someone that spends hours in a boutique FOR YOU😭 you're just like "no it's ok I like this one" and he's like "nooo but look at this one it's a nice shade of purple" like babe we said the first necklace was okay no need to get us 10 more🧐. Sugar daddy frfr🤞🏾 IM SORRY FHSJDVHSWVKD—

JAEHYUN

(Small small small angst but overload of fluff🤞🏾)

When he's mad at you, he's just dead silent AND THE DRYNESS OF HIS ANSWERS TO YOU IS ANGER INDUCING— But then he can't help but smile at your little sulking bc he's like "why was I mad at them in the first place🧐" but then he smiles even more when you try to get his attention by playing his favorite songs. THEN YOU START SINGING ALONG?? HE'S DONE FOR. Yeah by the end of the night y'all kinda forget why y'all were mad each other in the first place, WIN FOR EVERYONE👏🏾👏🏾 (or should I say winwin?? I'm sorry..)

JUNGWOO

Board games is must in this household!!! He's so humble about his very good techniques in games that it worries you a bit, you know he's the angel of the relationship bc if you were as good as him you'd be the most cocky person ever. THE THING IS sometimes he tries to make errors and try to suck so you can win. It's the sad truth bc you don't even realize until he tells you later on and THAT smirk appears on his face😭

MARK

Y'all look up 5 minute craft videos and watch them for hours while clowning it but somehow Mark is like "Dude, we should totally try this!" First, he just address you as the same thing he calls his bestie johnny and other members💀 Second, HE WANTS TO TRY A CRAFT THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE😭 and for some reason you agree bc you can't say no to his cuteness and his excitement. Y'all also watch 7 second riddles, and you turn it into a game where if one gets more right than the other; the Loser has to take  table spoons of mayo,ketchup, mustard,sour cream, and ranch (I couldn't think of anything else) also Mark loses so...yeah!

HAECHAN

(Maybe suggestive)

Y'all occasionally go on Omegle 😭 idk y this strikes me as a haechan thing it just does, it's always 50/50. One time y'all pretended to have sex but it was of course off camera and someone literally started Jacking off to it, when the person finished they were like "good job guys, you should become adult content creators!" YALL LEFT THE CHAT TRAUMATIZED💀 that's why y'all go on there very occasionally it's always when y'all are drunk tho😭😭

────────────────────────

Wow would you look at that, me being not as chaotic for headcanons 🤭 Love that for me!❤️❤️😘😘

Anyways, This is the end of the black girl kpop Stan chronicles [BGKSC] for short..No? Okay. give me some suggestions (nothing weird plz🙂🙏🏾) BYE BESTIE BOOS 😋🤞🏾❤️

#nct imagines #nct 127 #nct scenarios #nct drabbles #mark lee #taeil x reader #johnny suh #taeyong #haechan #kim jungwoo #jung jaehyun #doyoung #nakamoto yuta #not as chaotic as usual

[hunterbunter3000]

Hi! Hope you’re doing great! What is Graves and Sweetheart’s relationship like?

Hello! I'm absolutely wonderful 🫂💓 I hope you're doing good as well!

And uh- messy 🧍‍♀️💀 AHA

Graves and Sweetheart do NOT get along. The betrayal never happened because I like being happy, and he's honestly just annoying to Sweetheart 😕

Sweetheart: Graves? Oh yeah, he's... uhm.

Alex: Say something nice.

Sweetheart, rubbing her temples: I'm finding it.

Alex, in disbelief: ... It takes you that long to find something to say?

Sweetheart: It does. It really does.

When Graves met Sweetheart, he came on TOO strong. Lust was guiding him and it made Sweetheart uncomfortable. He was too close (and too basic)

AND not to mention he insulted her family-- calling them weirdos and hillbillies. (And criminals cause her aunt is in jail, but we ain't gonna go into that in this ask because it's in another one LOL) So that just turned her off COMPLETELY and then she just overpowered him by yelling and threatening him. And (this may be weird but idc) Graves fell in love with her anger PPFFTTT he felt small when her eyes looked like they were on fire, and like they were trying to set HIM on fire (and it was, just not physically 😏) she finishes off with a "fuck you, you mayo yee-yee fishstick" with a bird to the sky and walks off.

He's just standing there.

Dumbfounded

And that's how they met!! LMAO (He saw her in the offices and then that happened 👆HA)

But basically for their dynamic, for Sweetheart it's Enemies to Enemies

And for Graves it's frienemies to lovers 💀💀

(The reason I say freinemies is because Graves has saved Sweetheart a couple of times and vice versa. So they kinda have a clean slate? But only Graves thinks that and Sweetheart saves him so she doesn't have to explain what happened to Shepard cause she hates him too 💀💀)

And it's so funny to me because Graves is all like "you need to listen to me" and Sweetheart is always like "You're not my capitan or my team so no fuck you"

I love writing them and it's just comedy and ANGST LMAO (Maybe one day they'll have a good moment. Mmmaayyyybeee)

#philip graves #cod x y/n #call of duty mw2 #graves x you #graves cod #black fem reader #black reader #cod oc #graves x reader #mw2 graves #x reader #141 sweetheart #hunter's ask lounge ☕️

[nerdieforpedro]

Day Twenty Five - Bridge

Word Count: 805

Warnings: mention of a corpse (the floater - Doc is special ya’ll), expensive food, longing, angst, Rockford’s lips, two idiots

Notes: (From my Roc & Doc series). I thought a glimpse into the past would be fun for these two because this is how they’ve been and why the people around them are so annoyed. 😑 Like I get it. Also, I need some comfort too Tim!

Main Masterlist/ March Spring Prompts 2024 / Writing Prompts

“Didn’t we have a floater here, one time detective?”

“Yeah, but that was last summer, and it was all, wait, could we not talk about that now? This is supposed to be a nice lunch. A normal lunch between two people.” Rockford’s brow furrows. He was regretting his suggestion to try for a non-fast-food outing with Doc. He should have just kept things as they were. Has he learned nothing over the years? “Call me Tim, at least Doc, geez.” The two colleagues sat outside of a restaurant that overlooked a bridge from one of their cases last year. It looked much more inviting than the last time they had been here with that homicide. Tim had this bright idea at his partner, Stevenson’s urging and Kim’s teasing, so he did. So much was wrong with this.

“Well, if..nevermind. Keep calling me Doc. You win on that one Tim. I’m glad they gave us a discount. Fifty dollars for a burger is lunacy! It is delicious though. You think they have some coupons for dessert?” Doc changed the subject. She wasn’t fond of her name. It didn’t sound cool and sexy like Tim Rockford, well. No both fit, just she maybe shouldn’t think of them right now while he’s got mayo on his bottom lip. Why is his mouth always dripping? Could…don’t do there Doc. Doc stood and reached across the table, accustomed to dabbing Tim’s lips, the same ones she thinks of in her office. Tim is a grown man and should be wiping his own mouth, but she does it every time. He’s not really that much of a messy eater, maybe only with Doc because he knows just under that napkin, her fingers will graze his lips and he can imagine them later.

“This place is way too bougie for coupons. And if I’m going to ask you to call me my name, I should be calling you yours.” Finishing their overpriced burgers, they went to a nearby ice cream shop that they were both surprised was open. It had warmed up over their lunch though and as they walked over to the bridge standing on it and looking over the water. Ducks were swimming by quacking as they splashed in the water. “Why don’t you like it?”

Sighing, Doc looked up at Tim who was still watching the water, she popped a spoon of chocolate ice cream as the reflected sunlight danced across Tim’s broad chest. “It sounds like an old woman’s name. It’s silly but there it is. It doesn’t sound striking or cute.”

Rockford licked the vanilla ice cream off his top lip and tossed his finished cup in the nearby trash. He stood at Doc’s side and placed an arm around her shoulder, tilting his head toward her cheek.

“Should we all be so lucky to live to old age. You know that as well as I do in this job. Chin up Astrid, your name’s beautiful, represents you well.” Tim assures her as he’s always done. Like two years ago when she first came to be the medical examiner and the officers were weary that she could do a good job, Tim vouched for her. She wanted to do a good job to prove him right, later when she was more comfortable in her role, it was to feel like his equal in being proficient in her work. 

There were times like this though that gave her glimpses at something else. Only thoughts she entertained in her solitude. She’s sure he doesn’t think of her in that way and is just kinder than his gruff exterior lets on. Maybe.

Tim felt he may have taken it a bit too far, sure they’re not far apart in age, five years, but he noticed there were times she shrunk into herself, usually around him. Otherwise, she was outspoken, knew her facts like the back of her hand and if she knew how to handle a gun, he'd replace her with Stevenson, but then he wouldn’t have an ME who knew what they were doing. Rockford enjoyed seeing her face brighten and worried about her when he didn’t see her, despite knowing that she’s a force to be reckoned with. It doesn’t mean he shouldn’t support her. He just maybe didn’t need to hold her hand or embrace her every time. Slowly the line is blurring, and Tim prefers structure, lest he be like his little brother waffling to and fro. Tim decides he’ll stand beside her shoulder to shoulder not touching her until the next time. Astrid wants to reach for Tim’s hand but feels the moment has passed.On this bridge, a warm spring afternoon invites them both closer but they’re resisting the pull. Two normal people. Two colleagues. Two friends. Something less and something more between them.

#pedro pascal characters #fanfiction #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #tim rockford #tim rockford fanfiction #Tim Rockford x ofc #Tim Rockford x plus size ofc

[twistedtalking]

🤩 anon here.

May I request an interaction with Mayuu and the light magic trio (silver kalim and rook)? Or just Mayuus rhoughts on them is good as well! Nicw to hear Mayuu likes my compliments. She really is a hero huh?

I see them. Oh how I long to be with them.

"Good afternoon, Asim."

His joyous greeting overwhelms me. So bright, like the sun. It burns. He waves goodbye and continues on with his day.

Yet I stay rooted in my spot. I urge myself to move, but my feet were glued to the floor. I have to go, I still have work to do.

I cannot break. Not now.

I am not sure when I entered the bathroom. Nor do I know how long I've been in here.

How long have I been here?

Jamil hasn't overblotted yet, so winter break hasn't started yet. It's probably been 6 months. Mom and dad must be so worried.

I wanna go home.

But I can't. I have to save them. It is my duty.

I want to play. I want to run around. I want to be odd and goofy and laugh all the time. I want to complain about school and worry about homework. I don't want to make plans until past midnight. I don't want to train until my legs hurt just so I could walk all the way back to scarabia. I don't want to juggle school with an enormous amount of part-time jobs. I don't want to hurt anyone. I don't wanna lead. I don't wanna be strict.

I'm just a child.

Why does he get to do all this? Why does he get to play and laugh and joke around? Why does he have to be so carefree!?

We know better than most that his life is not good as it seems! That he is often betrayed! We've never been betrayed. Not once. Be grateful.

I know. I don't hate him. Not even a bit. On the contrary, I think we'd make good friends. Maybe, in another life.

But I just miss me. And he reminds me so much of her.

We did use to kin him. Yeah, we did.

My ears perked up. I hear Ace calling for me. Suddenly, I remember professor Trein's homework. Or at least, I remembered it was due today. I'm gonna get a scolding. For some odd reason, a little chortle came out of my throat. How nice. Wiping the tears in my eyes, I get ready to meet Ace. To meet this day.

Bonus:

Somehow, my mind kept drifting back to Kalim and what could've been. I'm sorry Professor Trein. I dream about what we could be doing together. Probably singing in the light music club. In that other world, I'd definitely join it. Maybe he'd teach me to add sugarcubes in tea. And maybe I'd teach him to add coffee to his rice. Maybe we'd be laughing right now, while onlookers look on in horror.

Maybe, in another life.

How to get Rook in our team? A problem I've been trying to solve for the past few days. I definitely need his expertise.

Should I just unofficially appoint him <read: not tell him he's in the team and just drag him around "accidentally">, like I did with Trey? No. Can't do that. I need him on the spying division.

Maybe I could send photos of Leona to him? Nope. He probably has way too many of those. Probably better quality too. Anyways, How would I even get my hands on those?

Let him pet Jack's ears? No! Absolutely not! I won't let anyone harass any of my team members!

Maybe permission to hug me at any and all times? Nah. No one would want that. Except me. Maybe Kalim.

Poetry competition where loser gets a wish? Did you just combine a manga oneshot and a Rook fanfic, both of which you haven't read in years? Seriously, Mayo?

Should I court him with a ballad as he watches out of his window? That's just a Rook fanfic again, Mayo. Well, to be fair, it was Rook doing the courting.

Maybe I should just kiss Riddle. And how would that help!? Yep, we're way too tired to think. Let's take a walk.

Don't we need to feed Grim though?

He'll eat the grass while we walk.

You're horrible.

I'm you, idiot.

I'm not an idiot.

-And Mayuu proceeds to forget about Rook for almost a month-

"Silver? I'm quite close with his father. And I think Silver is a good person. He defends people. And he doesn't think bad of others easily. I like him. Very much so. Enough to try avoiding Malleus's overblot instead of speeding it up. I don't want the baby to cry."

An excerpt from "The life of Mayuu: The interview"

#Mayuu #Light magic club #Self insert #Twst oc #Angst #angst no comfort #twst kalim #kalim al asim #Kalim x reader #Platonic #Rook Hunt #Light magic trio #Silver

[tsuki-sennin]

It's a two-for-one special, folks! ...and it has nothing to do with the fact that I neglected my Pretty Cure watching the week before, nuh-uh!

Besides, 14 episodes minus 13 episodes is equal to like... 1 episode, right? This should count as 1 episode altogether~!

I'm pretty late for tonight since I already had dinner. Fast food. Not particularly good for you, but you make sacrifices for convenience, you know? Besides, a bit of Chinken Nunget does a man good!

Spoilers, I guess... con carne~! And uh... this might be a bit long, so...

Episode 13, dig in!

-Amane Get!

-What the hecc, two?

-Oh, twins. Yuan and Mitsuki. ...quite an unusual combination of names.

-I uh... very nearly assumed something I probably shouldn't have.

-Oh hi, Takumi-kun! I look forward to your increased relevance, Mr. "I'm prominent as hell in the opening!"

-"Does that gay dude summon monsters like a duelist?"

-Oh, epic, curry!

-Fishermen.

-Aw, dammit, that means both Takumi and Yui's hot moms aren't available!

-...though then again, both of their dads are pretty good lookin'...

-Man, traveling the world sounds wonderful...

-Don't embarrass your son about this, An!

-Boy, what kinda stiff-ass office chair is that?

-Ah, he's goin' for a while, huh?

-Ohhhh, Monpei! He's got a name card and everything, he must be important!

-Ohhhhhhhh, shoot!

-So, the Delicioustone has much more to it than.

-You're the chosen one, Taco Meat!

-Oh, you gotta look good for your Dad, huh man?

-Oh c'mon, Dad! Not you too!

-Oh... your name's Hikaru too, huh?

-Kome-Kome's taken

-Instant food. ...damn, that's wonderful... man...

-Aaaaaaaaaaaaagh

-Good thing I was raised by a single mom, otherwise I'd be personally disgusted on Takumi's behalf.

-Guess Takumi's walkin' around in the dark.

-Ohhhh, romance lore!

-Ooooooh, delicious~!

-...wait, he's four years younger than you!?

-Damn.

-OH GOD SHE WAS HIS BOSS TOO AGH

-Oh, he's got Organization coat.

-...WAIT

-Delicioustone, randomly showing u

-Oh I got it now, Rosemary's Monpei's brother, and thus Takumi's uncle! I'm calling it now! You can't beat me, Toei! I'm way too smart for this show made for young girls!

-Oh, that sucks, huh Yui-pyon?

-"Holy shit, I fucking love rice."

-C'mon buddy, say it!

-Aw... Yone...

-Whitebait rice~!

-Missed opportunity to call it the Radiopeppi.

-Yeah, you assholes have fun with that!

-Pretty boy going around dressed like an asshole.

-"Ugh... gross. People having fun."

-Man, he's just a proper bastard, huh?

-"Ah fuck, my fitbit's going off. I need to do my daily violence!"

-Ohhhhhhh, shit

-Yeah, I get it fully now. Ending businesses, erasing memories... the Bundoru Gang are real bastards.

-Aaaaand, off she goes.

-Narcistoru. Coolest Phantom Ever.

-"What a waste of his looks" PAMU M N

-You petty-ass bitch

-"Hah. Okay!"

-"C'mon! Motto Ubau-zo!"

-I can respect the flourish, at least.

-Go for it, Takumi!

-Oh wow, this went on a bit. Uh... not that I didn't expect it too, but

-Well, it's definitely way stronger now. With a cognomen like "Motto", I imagine it would be.

-Jesus Christ, that bastard microwave is speedy. ...is it a microwave, or like some kinda weird toaster oven?

-Ohhhhh, there he is!

-Aaaaand the babbies are free

-Well, I hope you're not so suspicious of Rosemary now.

-...not gonna show me your Delicioustone drip, huh buddy? I've been saving my thoughts on it until I see it in action! I promise I won't make fun of you!

-Well, no preview! Jumping straight into Episode 14!

-...Episode 14!

-Ah, I guess we're shelving the first dozen episodes' Grandma intro?

-Love's first taste~! Truly bittersweet...

-Heeeeey, look at you, Takumi!

-Rosemary takes great pride.

-...yeah, the opening's really a vibe. I

-Takumicchi! Can I call ya Takumicchi? Yeah, you've got a litte lady friend!

-"Good job! Gay Uncle Mari's proud of you!"

-Tomoe, huh?

-Salt and pepper...

-"Uhhhh , yeah, ketchup and mayo!"

-Pepper Man.

-Weeeeeell... that manner of conviction is admirable. You should probably get to know somebody a bit more before springing a question like that on them, though.

-"Egg."

-He didn't even get a chance lol

-Oh man,

-S

-SHE RAISED HER FUCKING FINGER AND QUOTED HER GRANDMA

-YUI NAGOMI

-FUKKIN TENDO

-I can't make any more jokes about Grandma Tendou. They fuckin' beat me!

-Those cheap bastards!

-No, I don't give a crap about Takumicchi's girl problems anymore, the joke has been run into the ground and I'm sad!

-Good for you, Ran-Ran.

-"Eat."

-Sweet. Sour. Fizzy. Refreshing. Melting.

-The innumerable

-Oh... Rosemary-san... I see...

-"Yeah, you wanna fuckin' eat that shit, huh Secretoru?"

-Bittersweet.

-Man, these two...

-There you are, Takumicchi!

-Ohhhh, he's serious.

-About the delicate subject of love, that is~!

-"WHAT MANNER OF PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE IS THIS?!"

-"Aaaaaah, young love~! How delightfully tempestuous and confusing~!"

-"Wow!"

-"Fuit gummy!"

-Ohhhhhh, there she is!

-Your sassy gay uncle is now besties with Sans Undertale.

-Ah, love's like that, eh Takumicchi?

-Amane Kasai will be just fine.

-"Ohhhh, goddammit, I can't believe I'm doing this..."

-Ohhh, egg pasta...

-The way it's presented here... I think I'd like to have it with a splash of hotsauce and Parmesan.

-Recibepis

-Memory Massacring!

-Hora!

-It's a... panini press? Mmm...

-Let's go, Takumicchi!

-...I just realized that I don't have an awful lot to say about Kokone this time around. ...uhhh, she's pretty kino. I'd love to see Spicy gets to something super cool sometime soon.

-Steampressed!

-Yeaaaah, good job, Spicy! Ask and ye shall receive.

-Mmmmmm... grilled sandwiches...

-Sammich...

-Hell yeah, Spicy, press that bitch!

-Shit's al dente!

-Steamed Rice.

-Is it he? Can he be?

-Oh trust me Mem-Mem, if you hit that panini press, the fight'd be over in seconds.

-Ohhhh there he is!

-Cinnamon~!

-Black Pepper!

-Black Pepper! ...a fairly simple design, to be sure, but damn do you make it work! I really like how antithetical it is to the Bundoru Gang.

-Seeing dudes do stuff in Pretty Cure's never not gonna be unappreciated.

-Punch.

-Yep, we won pretty handily.

-...soooooo, are we gonna keep this secret, Pepper Boy?

-Cook Fighter!

-"I respectfully decline, but I hope we can enjoy a long and fruitful friendship regardless."

-Real Chad move.

-The taste of first love is truly bittersweet. Let it out, Tomoe-chan. You got this.

-Man.

-Good work today, everybody! I realize this is a pretty long one, but hopefully we all had some fun!

-I can only imagine where we're going with the developments we've seen tonight.

-Pic-a-nic~!

-Ahhhhh, Kokone~! Hooray, Kokone focus~! I'm pleased as punch about this! Looking forward to Saturday~! ...for real this time, I promise.

#if you receive a little kindness give them a large serving! #depapre #precure #delicious party precure #delicious party pretty cure #pretty cure

[burtlederp]

Planty asks, pick your five favorite plants from the list based on their icons and then answer the questions for yourself and Elias.

I think I actually managed to find the original ask game for this one, believe it or not! If I did not, then sorry lol

🌺 What is your oc’s formal wear like? For me, my formal wear is basically a throw-on dress. I don't know enough about fashion to know what they're called, but they tend to be longish and soft and easy to put on and easy to wear. For Elias, if he ever needed to be dressed formal, he'd scramble for the cleanest button-up he owns (or buy the cheapest one at Wal-Mart) and maybe, if he has them and they are clean or relatively hole-free, slacks. But likely he'll just wash his jeans for once and wear those.

🌻 What little things make your oc happy? Would they admit that they make them happy? Plants! Happy little plants in unexpected places delight me, and I'll never hesitate to say so. Elias: Probably children? He'd say he's abjectly terrified of kids, but younger ones, if you stick him in a room with them, he may or may not be in heaven. You'd likely come back to him with clips in his hair and painted fingernails, and then be in a good mood for a time.

🌾 What is your oc’s favourite food? I know I ought not to generalize all of Asia, but yeah for the most part, all Asian food makes me happy if you offer it. Dumplings, pad thai, sushi, takoyaki, and more, all of it gets me salivating and my tummy rumbling. Elias' favorite food... He'd probably say pizza. 😛

🌿 Which oc can handle the most spice? Which prefers the blandest foods? I can't say I'm suuuper tolerant of spice, I'm really not, but the right kind of spice... yes please. I'll eat spicy crab on my sushi or have the spicy mayo or whatnot, but whenever I'm getting comfort ramen, I go with NO spice lol. I think Anton would be the one who likes his food bland, technically, since he does favor straight, raw meat over anything else. As for spice, well, hmm... Honestly? Probably Elias. He's had a sucky life, but even despite that, Courtney and others have taken him to fancy and less fancy places of varying quality and culture, and this is the same kid who ate a sock off the highway for a pack of cigs, so yeah, I'd reckon it's Elias.

🌹 How is your oc with flirting? Either receiving or the source? Okay, I... I think I'm pretty shit. I'm 23, and I've never had my first kiss yet. I could probably count on one hand the number of dates I've been on in my life. As for receiving? I think my face will discover a new shade of red. Elias is probably comparatively shit, but not for lack of trying. I think he's just bad at it. He's probably a little better at taking it, but depending on who it is, he might actually get scared off (you can thank Courtney for that).

Thanks Red for the ask!!! Sorry it took literally.... over a year or two to answer...😅

#burtlederp answers eventually #planty oc ask game answer #oc ask game answer #burtlederp posts #cleaning out my inbox #elias teancum benson

[the-firebird69]

🔻 SUPERMAN - Some Gotta Learn the Hard Way

He's probably not a very observant person but we think he sees this. And this guy is supposed to be one of you you might not be for the scene and you don't check anybody so we're going to do what we want to you

Thor Freya

Olympus

The pseudo empire was not physically putting in the hospital but they kept on doing that kind of thing we don't like them either it's absolutely true that they were orchestrated and Daniel actually ran the hospital on Mayo road in California and Garth was there and they're full of s*** it is facilities need to go and they're dumb people and they're going to get killed as a matter of fact they're the ones who are putting more lock into the mental hospital quite often and the warlocks start doing it a little and lost control of it but they were doing it a lot and finally Tommy f put them in and they started to lose and these guys are now losing I'll tell you what to have a bunch of s*** and losers and Ken is a loser laughing and you won't have any money and Biden is a loser get a whole bunch of s*** ass losers running things and this whole place is a mess there's no government and there's some sort of Battle zone near our sun and we are going to get rid of that thing shortly and it will be by the demise of the pseudo empire and shortly after the fall of the clones and the fall of the morlock

And you're not getting it Daniel you never get it you're so stupid you and these people don't get it until the the shotgun is right in your face you still don't get it tells you not to do stuff and then go ahead and do it and we go ahead and fix you tons of people are cutting your dick in balls off all day and night all over the place you don't get that either

He said to have you play with your own dick and balls and maybe we'll get it Jesus Christ you're stupid people

Thor Freya

Olympus

You think it's funny little kid Daniel you little kid you think a lot of stupid s***'s funny I tell you what you're not very bright and you had trouble working on those projects it's not very complicated that's a simple job these are very simple buildings to build I don't think you can build a spaceship yourself at all it takes a brain to do what I'm doing and you don't understand what I'm doing to you dumb f**** because you're stupid and me I don't really take to that very well and I have systems here monitoring controlling just like the clans obviously I would know about it at least and it's just annoying as hell and that doesn't like you Mac does not like you and the bosses don't like you people because you say they're slaves and forced to work for you I'm not a slave of yours Daniel if you step out of line your brain's going to come out of your body at a high rate of speed in multiple pieces because that's what I do for a living I lay off my back if you're not you're going to be killed same with the stupid a****** this is an amazing show what do you think you're going to get from it stupid s***

Zues Hera

I suppose you're right about something this show is dumber than hell they're sitting here say we can't help it let's see each other up say we can't help it and it was taking advantage of it he says we don't have much stuff and what we have kind of sucks so yeah a whole bunch of poor people are taking advantage I don't understand that we're not going after the empire we're stopping them for drinking about it or even leaving foreigners to it it's a really piss poor job we're doing doesn't want me to bothering him as a cop wandering around them as a cop I got to tell you something nobody understands what you're saying no we get it we just don't think we have to listen there's a bunch of reasons first and foremost we say we can't because you're not supposed to and what you say is if we're breaking our rules you're not listening to your rules coming back at you whose fault is it when you get f***** up and I now understand something you figure out some rules so you're trying to explain them and it doesn't come out right so you don't see it it's kind of like this it's easy to write us it's easy to hit us it's hard to get out the empire with us and using us and he just can't seem to get it done they can't seem to aiming at us Adam and even with these siege stuff. There's a huge amount of armaments in those caverns and we keep on bothering each other like it's not there he says what they're going to do is empty it out and say you're doing it I think ferrying it to Saturn, and are you going to use it to protect and they're going to use it to take down what Dave has and they can use it to help mine and we do see that and they need a ton of it but the rest of it they're going to use here sorry for deception it's going to suck what he says is just sit back and do it do what the clan did cuz we do have a program and I'd say this we have to take the hardware and stop texting each other it's probably won't happen and their armies get taken over with computers and they suck at it so I see the situation you're a bunch of stinkers and put him into the mental hospital hates us for it and who wouldn't but he says you can't put me in a prison because of who I am and we do it to each other all the time nobody sounds saying is sounding weird. He also says this I wore the shirt and you don't get it. Had a little fight with Tommy f and decide to make tons of them I don't understand something he's going to double ballistic and we're going to lose and your people in the empire will lose now we can stop those things you're going to have a hell of a time I don't want to be mean but he says is if you come up to me as a cop you're probably going to get killed it's probably true this is for days and years sticking around with me like it's for free and your entire realm is now coming down and that's the morlock realm thank you for your territory are you heading them over and you tell us what you need every few seconds and your psychology is such that you can't reverse it on your own and the max don't want you to I see that too it says to them is so what it would take all that territory and we're not just sitting there counting their money and that's what it did something you Max are out to lunch too what are you having to take all that territory for lucid spread them out. So I see you're committed to your move and that's what's going on he knows it's a hard cause and purpose but if we're not doing it you're just going to sit here and fall for stuff and say we're doing it and make fun of him while we're dying he doesn't want to help us it makes a lot of damn sense

Daniel

Hey we're there to catch you you just want to hear it's just stupid and that's not catching someone that's doing what the empire wants you might as well ran a ferrier up there now and I get that

We're going to go down the river if we don't figure this stuff out he said a whole bunch of that hardware is going to just go up to Saturday and when I looked at it as a threat that's an insult but that's what they're doing we have to have a lot more Intel but I believe it's true

Mike tew how else are they going to get around and it has to be a ton of them

[falsebooles123]

Diary of a Horror Buff 8.23.22

Ugh Hey sluts, work was long but I got paid, ooh guess who can pay his rent now its me bitch.

So I've watched nothing but trash so let's also watch something thats not that to make up for it.

Clown Motel: Spirits Arise (2019) dir.  Joseph P. Kelly

Ok so in my tubi queue I have a lot of random stuff on it gay shit, actually good horror movies, and the worst bottom of the barrel trash that you could possible ever want to watch. this is the later.

so we start off with some random assholes who make a haunted places style tv show. Like that one zak bagans show.

one day this man will be murdered by a ghost and the world will thank them.

the random assholes are like whoa a clown hotel in the desert that sounds lit. and to be honest the clown hotel is actually very lit however this movie does not deliver on the tourism aspect. The houses that october built this is not.

While these assholes are driving we meet a bunch of women celebrating a bachlorette party. They do not have names they barely have personalities. The first half hour of this movie is dedicated to introducing the single personality trait that each character has.

and before you ask yes Gay is a personality trait.

the clowns are extremely generic looking theres a pig butcher clown whose a rapist, a little person clown whose grumpy and violent, and a full grown man whose clearly trying to homage Schlitzie which just feels abliest.

omg you can have a character with Microcephaly thats actually dynamic and treats them like a person. Amazing.

theres also some subtle homophobia in here but that being said I love that they gay friend packed an entire bag of sex toys on a all guys road trip and somehow there still surprised he sucks dick. Like bruh you share a hotel room with him.

Long story short this movie is bad and does not have enought clown highjinks.

This has exactly zero things to do with this review. I am just obsessed with Aplause's Le Petits Marshel the Clown Plushie. He gives me joy.

The Murder at Glen Athol AKA The Criminal Within (1936) dir. Frank R. Strayer

this was very very boring. mayo boy detective like wah wah I'm on vacation with his idiot housekeeper who I feel like is supposed to be the salt of the earth thug with a heart of gold type but hes just a very unfunny butt monkey. horrible annoying.

The rest of the cast is as follows.

boisterious flapper type who just flaunts how much the men in her life enjoy pussy worship

ingenue #54

a "wise guy eh" mobster

sugar daddy

various fuckbois who don't really play into the plot.

Now tropes are useful for a reason but the main issue with this film is plot. Mysteries really need to be well-structered so that the audience can feel like were solving the mystery along with the detective. This does not deliver.

Fatima's Coochee Choochee Dance (1896) dir. William Heise, James H. White.

Ok so I watched this because I mean ya gotta but what I discovered is really really cool. First check out these two cool articles about the subject.

basically the coochee coochee dance is what we would call belly dancing in modern day. the whole culteral idea we have in america is actually part of the orientalism that occured during the late victorian era. and the coochee dance was both something that was taking the world by storm. People were obsessed with this dance and it was very de riguer. It was also very controversay.

bigsly the unwashed masses are gawking at the haram dances of the orient. Someone must think of the children. well are children not those of the unlettered.

This film also has the curious denotion of being the first censored film since Fatima's hips were a little too hot for teacher and by teacher I mean the local alderman.

Overall a super cool piece of history. Shake those hips fatima.

Nursery Crimes (2011) dir. L. Whyte

hey kids do you like fucked up fairy tales??? well your in fucking luck. so yeah this is exactly the vibe your expecting little bo peep is a crazy little psycho and shenanigans, (moider) happens.

The Video Store Commercial (2019) dir. Cody Kennedy, Tim Rutherford

FUN FACT: The last blockbuster literally ever is in my state.

So this is a movie about a video rental store, (yes zoomer we know), who's making a commercial and honestly I really do wish they still existed not because I don't enjoy the interent but because one. Physical Copies mean that its harder to wipe entire shows off the map like with what happened with HBO Max literally fucking over so many of their content creators.

Also I really want to see a copy of the Japenese Tomie Film Series but the only physical copies I can find are like over a hundren bucks and I don't have that kind of money.

So nostaligia aside this was a fun little horror comedy check it out.

Betty Boop in Halloween Party (1933) dir. Dave Fleisher.

OK I mean why wouldn't I want to watch more Betty Boop Cartoons what can I say I like a dame that can go boop boop de Boop and live in a world were everyone does a jaunty gig.

ok so there a fuck ton of gifs from this film which I'm not surprised there are a lot of really fun visual gags. I also love that Betty Boop is just like yeah I'm a pinup what about it. like she literally just opens the door and is like hey gals what if you just saw my entire ass.

Also victorians had a whole bunch of insane halloween parlor games and one of these days it would be amazing to have a themed holloween party.

so yeah this is just a movie about betty boop throwing a party and then some asshole crashes it.

I also love that the more I watch these old cartoons the more cuphead references I get.

The Cobweb Hotel (1936) dir. Dave Fleischer

Ok so this is another one of those old Color Classics that I remember from my DVDs I watched as a kid. Basically this is a story about a daring enterpanuer who wants to make the stay the best of the customers life.

also he's a spide so there definetly trying to kill them or something. Serving H.H.Holmes realnesss.

Theres a lot to enjoy here, the horrible dark plot, the tiny person aestetic. the fun action scenes.

All Around a good time.

OK Part of me want to watch more but also part of me wants to go deal with everything else I have to deal with today. So get ready for tomorrow for more fun films.

#diary #letterboxd #letterboxchallenge #horror #horror shorts #horrormovies #Youtube #Vimeo

[violettelueur]

— ITADORI YUJI + FUSHIGURO MEGUMI + GOJO SATORU + INUMAKI TOGE || TEXTING THEM THAT YOU ARE GETTING HIT ON

↳ featuring : itadori yuji + fushiguro megumi + gojo satoru + inumaki toge from jujutsu kaisen

↳ warnings : swearing + grammar issues

↳ form : headcanons

↳ published : 08 april

↳ pronouns : non specified in headcanon

↳ request : My ask got eaten :( So I'm requesting again! Can I get megumi, yuuji, gojo, and inumaki reacting to their s/o texting them they're getting hit on? As in they're in a grocery store or mall but just away from each other? Thanks! Love you!

↳ barista’s notes : so...i decided to add a man and his cat in my wishlist on amazon, so thank you to the anon that told me about that manga and the other suggestions are on my reading list - i also ordered komi can’t communicate since my cousin told to me read it...so i am going to give it a go...by spending my money on volume one ʕ ㅇ ᴥ ㅇʔ but yeah, i am still thinking about going to central london to get more manga because i am an impatient barista (don’t worry, i am not breaking covid rules since everything will be open on the 12 april by government guldelines) moving on from that, i hope you enjoy your cup of classic black coffee and please come again soon ʕ •ᴥ•ʔゝ☆

When you and Itadori go shopping together, he is the type to go somewhere randomly without telling you because he got distracted by the sweet section of the store.

So overall, you do lose your boyfriend from time to time because of his habit of his - it’s adorable because he has a cute smile on his face when you find him, but you do get a little annoyed when he does it.

So when he went on his own trip, you decided that it was the best time to do a little prank since you just needed him to come to you - also, you weren’t bothered to go find him.

So when you text him that you are getting hit on, Itadori will reply to you with an emoji like this 🤔 or a text saying “Eh? Where are you, babe?”

When you reply to him, he won’t text you back at all because, after one second of you texting him back, he is already behind you with his arms wrapped around your waist and his chin hooked on your shoulder - scaring you slightly.

Itadori will look around from side to side before asking you if you are okay because he thought he had missed the person before he came - which is lowkey impossible because this guy can run a while 10 laps in 3 minutes.

Like he would be like ʕ·ᴥ·　ʔ ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ ʕ　·ᴥ·ʔ - where is this bitch?

When you giggle and tell him that it’s a small prank, he will pout at you before calling you a ‘little meanie’ because you are - like why would you do that to your poor axolotl of a boyfriend? Like that is so mean Y/N…

Give him a few kisses on his face and he will 

Of course, after his little whining session, he will show you all the snacks he has picked up for your movie date and how he wanted to pick up more...before you decided to pull that little stunt on him.

So your wallet better be ready for the sweet treats he is going to purchase - sorcerers get paid a lot so….

It’s rare that you and Fushiguro ever get separated during a little grocery shopping trip since he seems like a well-organised person.

What I mean by that is that he will have a shopping list on his phone or one he wrote out before you guys went out - since he just wants the process to be easy and quick.

However, there are times when he does have to separate from you because he missed something from the list - he is perfect with some imperfections.

So during this lovely rare time of him disappearing, you being the wonderful person decided to do the little prank that you have been seeing on TikTok - because you know Fushiguro doesn’t have that app.

So after waiting a few minutes, you decided to message your boyfriend that you are getting hit on by some random stranger.

You know he is coming to find you when you just see the ‘read’ below your text message - he does reply to your message but there are times where you just see that annoying ‘read’

After a few more minutes, you notice a feeling of a hand on your lower back and Fushiguro next to you, who is giving a glare to the side of the aisle that you are in - the poor innocent customer that is a victim to it.

He will ask if you are okay in a softer tone (because you bring out that side of him) and when you tell him you were just playing a little prank on him...he will give you a fed-up look.

However, he would also hide his face in the crook of your neck because he is really shy about how he rushed over to you to make sure you are okay - only for you to play with him.

“Did Gojo put you up to this?”

Yeah, he is annoyed at you but he is happy that you are okay - just let him hold you if he wants to because he deserves to.

SO...when you and Gojo are grocery shopping together, he is the type that will drag you around everywhere, especially somewhere in the bakery section.

Just know there are also times when Gojo will go on a little detour on his own like Itadori - because you are adamant to get the food that you need.

However, what gets annoying is when Gojo gets hit on by other people in the store when you are in front of him - like hello?

So imagine when he isn’t around you…

In the case of that, you decided to have a little payback with him and let him know how it feels, now from his perspective.

When you inform him that you are getting hit on by someone, just know you don’t need to close your phone because he will text you immediately - like within a second.

“Excuse me 😀 send the location honey~”

So when you do tell him where you are located, he will run to where you are with something that he found in one section as a weapon - maybe like a large leek or a cucumber (yes, it does weird people out)

When he finds you and doesn’t see the ‘person’ that was flirting with you, he will immediately ask you for their location - with the little glasses tilt and everything.

When you told him that it was a lie, the seriousness in his face just drops and now he has a huge pout and goes all whiny with you like “honey~ whyyy would you do that to me? Do you know how much I was worried about some random creep talking to you, and you do this to your handsome husband?” - dude...you ain’t even married yet.

He will now cling on to you like a koala, whining how mean you are and how much he is hurt by your actions - so if you suffocate him with affection, he will slowly quickly forgive you.

First I need to point out, texting Inumaki is the most amazing thing on this Earth because he can say what he wants to say - memes, gifs and everything.

Going back to the headcanon, when you and Inumaki go grocery shopping together, it’s basically a little date and the most random visit to the store because you both got nothing planned - probably Maki forced you to go, so you can prepare the hotpot that everyone was planning for.

So when you both decided it was best to split up the ingredients on the shopping list and split up to get the job done quicker, that’s when you get the idea since it was the perfect opportunity.

When you are about done with your side of the shopping, you decided to put your little prank into action - and it’s perfect for you as a couple because you both probably have a prank war going on with each other.

So when you text him that you were getting hit on, Inumaki will send you a whole gif as a response... there is no question about it.

You will probably laugh at it before he comes running in from the side - he is also the type that will slide off to the side before coming back into view as he runs towards you.

“Tuna, tuna?” - I’m laughing as I am typing this.

He is also the type to grab your arms and shake you lightly when you don’t answer quick enough (for him) - he is just worried.

When you laugh and tell him that it’s just a prank, Inumaki will give you a little look - like it is a mix of surprised and just ʕ – ᴥ – ʔ

“Okaka!” - Inumaki will say this to you before crossing his arms in ‘anger’ because he was actually worried… as he embarrassed himself for you.

For him to forgive you, just collect some other ingredients to have tuna mayo onigiri for him - because a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach ;)

© violettelueur 2021 : written and published by violettelueur - do not steal or repost

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jujutsu kaisen headcanons #jujutsu kaisen headcanon #jujutsu kaisen hcs #jjk headcanons #jjk headcanon #jjk hcs #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #itadori yuji #fushiguro megumi #gojo satoru #inumaki to/ge #itadori yuji headcanons #itadori yuuji headcanon #fushiguro megumi headcanons #fushiguro megumi headcanon #gojo satoru headcanons #gojo satoru headcanon #inumaki to/ge headcanons #inumaki to/ge headcanon #itadori yuji x reader #fushiguro megumi x reader #gojo satoru x reader #inumaki to/ge x reader

[wetookeachothershand]

Midnight Snack

Pairing: Sano Shinichiro x GN!Reader

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: Swearing, one (1) NSFW innuendo

W/C: 1K+

Summary: Making stir-fried ramen for the Sano brothers while listening to the two argue over who you love more.

Additional: This is in no way me promoting grooming nor pedophilia, Mikey simply has a puppy crush on (Y/n).

Ultimate Masterlist | Shinichiro Masterlist | Tales of The Sano Family Masterlist

~Your P.O.V.~

"What are you doing?",a familiar voice asked causing me to jump.

"Shin, shh!",I said as I held a finger over my mouth.

Mikey laughed as he munched on his dorayaki.

"You makin' soup, sweetheart?",Shinichiro asked as he came over to where I was at the stove.

"Mhm. Want some?"

"Sure, your's is always good."

"I want some too,",Mikey said.

"Alright, there's more than enough for all three of us. Should we wake up Emma and see if she wants some too? We should let your grandfather rest."

"She should sleep, she has school tomorrow. So do you, Manjiro,",Shinichiro said as he looked at the young blonde.

"My (Y/n) radar went off and I woke up."

""(Y/n) radar"? Cute,",I said with a light laugh.

"(Y/n)!",Shinichiro whined.

"Hah! See, (Y/n) does like me better,",Mikey said as he stuck his tongue out at his older brother.

"You little-!"

"Shin, baby, can you help me? I don't wanna burn myself since I'm tired, and the pot is heavier than usual,",I said.

"Sure!",he said happily. "Take that, twerp. MY LOVER wants MY help, not YOURS,",Shinichiro said to Mikey before going over to me. "What do you need me to do?"

"Strain half a cup of water into the measuring cup, and then drain the rest of the water,",I said as I went over to Mikey who had a slight pout. I patted his head as I could hear Shinichiro pouring the water. "Don't worry, Mikey. Next time you can pour the water for me, you're strong."

His face immediately lit up. "We can make ramen after I get home from school and I can help. I like eating your ramen a lot."

"Aww thank you, Mikey. That's really sweet of you to say,",I said as I gave him a light hug.

"Where's my hug?",Shinichiro asked.

I giggled and went over to him, giving him a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you for helping me, baby. Now then, time to finish cooking,",I said to myself as I poured the noodles into the pot, and the half cup of water. I put the stove on low and soon heard the two brothers starting to bicker again.

"Listen, they're not going to kiss your cheek. It took me forever to get a kiss on the cheek from them and we're dating."

"Maybe they just doesn't like you as much as you think they do,",Mikey said.

I shook my head, mixing in the liquid and then powder packets that came with the ramen into the pot. I tried to hold in my laugh as the conversation continued.

"As if,",Shinichiro said with a scoff. "We're going to be married to each other, and have children. Maybe they'll be more well-behaved than you."

"Oh please, if you're the father than they won't be. Besides, (Y/n) and I are getting married. When I get older they'll realize I'm the better Sano,",Mikey said as I cracked and added in two eggs.

"You're short, you think they'll even see you that way with your height?"

"Now, now, I don't care about the height of my lover,",I spoke up.

"Mhm,",Shinichiro said as he hugged me from behind.

"I'll win (Y/n)'s heart!",Mikey said confidently.

I shook my head with a laugh. "Can you both get bowls, chopsticks, and drinks please?",I asked.

They immediately nodded and got what I asked them to. I added some Kewpie Mayo and mixed it in. Mikey placed the bowls next to me on the counter and I divided the soup evenly into the three bowls. "Mikey, can you help me carry the bowls?"

"Yeah,",he said and grabbed two bowls. He placed the two down and I placed the other down.

Shinichiro finished placing everything on the table and we all sat down.

"Thank you for the food,",we all said and began eating.

"So good and creamy!",I said happily.

"I know what else is creamy-ow!",Shinichiro yelped as I kicked his shin.

"I dare you to continue,",I said as I gave him a menacing smile.

"I'm good,",he winced.

~later after the meal~

I washed the dishes with Shinichiro and Mikey as we all talked. "So Mikey, I heard you started a gang. Tokyo Manji Gang, right?"

"Yeah. We're going to be the best gang in all of Japan, and start a new age for delinquents,",he said confidently.

"Confident, I like that. Please promise me that you'll be careful though, I don't know what I'll do if I found out you ended up in the hospital."

"Don't worry, (Y/n)! I'm strong, unlike my idiot brother."

"Oh, shut up,",Shinichiro groaned. "You really love the sound of your own voice, don't you?"

"It's a lot better than yours."

I laughed at the two's bickering. "I love you both so much."

"I love you too,",Shinichiro said.

Mikey stayed quiet and we both looked at him. His face was red and his fists were clenched at his sides.

"Are you ok, Mikey?",I asked as I dried my hands, looking more at his face.

"L-Love you too, (Y/n),",he said quietly.

I smiled and brought him into a tight hug. "Man you're freaking cute!"

~Shinichiro's P.O.V.~

I smiled fondly as I watched (Y/n) hug Mikey. Soon the moment was ruined as Mikey stuck his tongue out at me while pulling on his cheek.

"You annoying ass kid! Go to sleep already!",I shouted.

"Shin!",(Y/n) scolded as they let go of Mikey and looked at me. "Be nicer to Mikey, baby."

"But (Y/n)-"

They shook their head. "Nope, don't wanna hear it."

I let out a sigh. "Fine."

They smiled. "You're right though, Mikey you should be going to sleep. You'll be tired at school tomorrow if you don't sleep soon."

"Alright. Goodnight, (Y/n)."

"Goodnight, Mikey."

"Night, Manjiro,",I said.

"Night,",he said and left (Y/n) and I alone in the kitchen.

We finished washing the dishes and went to my room, laying on my bed.

"I love you, (Y/n),",I said as our limbs intertwined with each other's.

"I love you too, Shinichiro. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

Tag List Form

All rights are reserved to wetookeachothershand. Do not plagiarize, repost, translate, or claim my work~ ♡

#shinichiro sano #shinichiro sano x reader #shinichiro sano fluff #shinichiro x reader #shinichiro x reader fluff #tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers fluff #tales of the sano family #wetookeachothershand

[luvnami]

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 - wahh it’s here! can’t believe my brainrot of osamu teaching a cooking class turned into this long fic lol... i hope you enjoy it!! it was fun crafting the story with my beta readers and i put a lot of effort into it!!! itadakimasu <3

𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬 - @forgetou​ @amjustagirl​ (muacks 2x) + tq to everyone who helped me with the banner!!

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 - you’re suna’s younger sibling, food, heartbreak, angst but happy ending, mentions of stabbing (joke), kita dances to ‘ice cream’ by selena gomez and blackpink, mentions of alcohol, mentions of blood (brief), suna beats (redacted) up

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 - miya osamu x gn!reader

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 - you fall in love with miya osamu once more, but you’re afraid of getting hurt again.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 - 5535

𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 | 𝐤𝐨-𝐟𝐢

1. Cook the rice according to your rice cooker, then transfer the cooked rice to a separate bowl to cool it down.

“What ya want t’do is scorch the soy sauce.”

The class presses themselves against Osamu’s workbench as they scribble down notes on their recipe printouts. Their lips purse to ooh and aah at his cooking skills, though you’re pretty sure that they’re more interested in how his biceps flex when he flips the wok with a trained flick of the wrist. 

You stand at the very edge of the group. It’s better than getting close with a group of hungry housewives, really. If grocery store and department mall sales have ever told you anything, it’s to never get in the way of what a seasoned housewife wants. Unfortunately for you, you haven’t learnt the way of being a homemaker just yet. 

You’re unemployed, right in the middle of a month and a half-ish long transfer between jobs. You currently stay at your brother Suna’s place — which is really just an apartment filled with dirty laundry overflowing from its seams.

Turns out Suna himself is a bit of a gossip.  He told Kita who told Atsumu who told Osamu that you’re stuck at his place 24/7 with no friends or entertainment in the lovely city of Nagano. It’s just mountains and trees as far as the eye can see all around — and there’s only so many hikes you can take each week. 

“Why don’t you take a cookin’ class?” 

“Cookin’?” Your face screwed up in confusion. “ What for?”

“So that you can actually pull your weight around the house and make me something to eat.”

You chucked a pillow at his head and began to list all the things you did while staying at his apartment. Laundry, cleaning the floor, doing grocery shopping (even if it was only instant noodles and snacks), finding his disgustingly sweaty socks under the sofa and many other important chores, thank you very much.

Besides, you weren’t as eager when you saw who was the one that would be holding the classes. With his picture plastered across the front of a pamphlet, your heart dropped into the pit of your stomach. Years of chasing his dreams and training in a kitchen had done Osamu wonders. 

You had half a mind to smack Suna in the head with the yellow, glossy paper, but instead you quietly tucked it into a corner of the guest room to look at later. You were sure Suna hadn’t forgotten your history with Osamu just yet — but perhaps he assumed that enough time had passed to heal your wounds.

Either way, there’s no going back now. That’s how you ended up at Osamu’s ‘Cooking class for homemakers — you can do it too!’, except you aren’t a homemaker. You shift your weight from one foot to the other as the sound of sizzling soy sauce fills the air. Osamu pauses for a while before beginning to mix the rice with the sauce, wielding his spatula and wok expertly like weapons.

“Miya-san, you’re amazing!” someone gushes.

He lets out a bashful laugh. “This is nothing. I’m sure everyone will be able to do this by the end of class today!”

You wonder if he’s ever considered being a teacher. The demonstration on how to make shrimp fried rice is soon over and everyone returns to their benches, eager to try out the recipe. You are no different. Scurrying to your bench at the very back of the classroom, you exchange glances between the printed recipe handout and your tray of ingredients.

“Need any help?” 

Osamu’s voice and looming presence makes you jump.

“Woah! Careful there,” he chuckles, his fingers gently prying a knife out of your hands.

Unconsciously, you had raised it in shock when Osamu snuck up on you. The knife now lays safely on the tabletop and you feel the eyes of the entire class boring into you.

“Sorry, Miya-san. I didn’t see you,” you apologise meekly.

“Don’t worry about it, I shouldn't have scared ya like that. And no need for the formalities! You’re my friend’s sister, afta’ all.”

Oh goodness. You half expect the class to pick up their pots and pans and run at you right this moment. You swallow back the half hearted ‘Osamu-san’ that rises in your throat. Your heart trembles in your chest and for a second, the silence that weighs heavily between the both of you turns awkward. 

“Miya-san! Could you help me with this please?” 

You’ve never been so glad to hear Tachibana’s sickly shrill voice before. Osamu is quick to wave goodbye to you before hurrying over to her bench, a smile still on his face. You breathe a sigh of relief. 

You make a mental note to tell Suna that Osamu should just stick to placating those housewives and leave you the hell alone. The last thing you want is to have blackmail spread around the neighbourhood by these gossipy housewives, or worse, have their daughters hunt you down and chop you up into pieces.

Whatever. You’re just here to learn how to make shrimp fried rice and then go home to your annoying older brother. Besides, it’s not like you’ll be here for long. Miya Osamu just happens to be the local heartthrob, the handsome and eligible bachelor chased by anyone single and ready to mingle. You have absolutely nothing to do with someone so popular and good-looking. And for goodness sake, he’s your brother’s high school friend and your… Well, you know. 

Your face burns and you pick up the knife again, grip tightening on its handle. You begin chopping at the onions with renewed determination.

(Later on, when you bring back a tupperware of fried rice for Suna, he looks you in the eye and asks “Shrimp fried this rice?”.

You shoot him a glare.

“I fried this rice.”)

2. Prepare all the fillings that you are going to use and set aside, such as pickled plums or tuna mayo. Prepare your seaweed sheets.

What you don’t expect is for Miya Osamu to show up at your doorstep the next day with boxes of food, cartons of drinks and a very noisy brother of his in tow. 

“Rin, where can I leave the drinks?” Osamu yells.

“Rin, can I play your PS5?” Atsumu shouts.

You think that they are very different, the Miya twins. Suna takes a minute to finish putting on some clothes (you had answered the door, thankfully. No one wants to see Suna Rintarou in Pikachu boxers) before bursting out of his room.

He’s quick to smack Atsumu’s ‘dirty little setter hands’ away from his precious Playstation, directing Osamu to what constitutes the apartment’s kitchen — a second-hand fridge and the building-installed gas stove that works only if you hit it hard enough. You’re surprised that neither you or Suna haven't died of a house fire or gas poisoning by now.

It doesn’t take long for the other Inarizaki alumni to arrive at Suna’s apartment in a series of doorbell rings. Kita even brings along a large bottle of sake, to which everyone cheers loudly. You don’t understand why they had chosen Suna’s place to have a reunion party. Seriously, wouldn't Onigiri Miya or some other izakaya have been a better choice?

However, there’s free flow of drinks and lots of yummy snacks, so you decide to let the noise wash over you and stand by the food table to pick at the trays of pizza, fried chicken and other finger food. Aran even offers you a drink, smiling sweetly before going off to wrangle Atsumu from trying to initiate a beer chugging competition. Some things just never change, you suppose.

“Having fun?”

You jump and nearly drop the plate of food that you hold.

“You have a horrible habit of scaring people, Miya- Osamu.”

His first name comes out awkward, tumbling off of your tongue as you use a pair of chopsticks to carefully pile back some mentaiko mayonnaise onto a slice of tamagoyaki. Osamu settles into the crook of the kitchen counter next to you with a playful grin on his face.

“Do I really?”

“Don’t forget that the first time you did that, someone nearly got stabbed.”

You pop the tamagoyaki into your mouth. It’s delicious — the egg’s sweetness balances out the salty sauce. You wonder if there’s enough left on the tray for seconds. 

“How’s the reunion going?” you ask nonchalantly, and shuffle a few centimetres away from him.

You hope Osamu doesn’t notice that. He does, however, but chooses not to comment on it. He brings up a hand to scratch at his neck, his shoulders slumping ever so slightly. He’s close enough for you to get a whiff of whatever cologne he’s wearing. Your head spins for a second. 

“Oh, none of us have gotten drunk just yet. I’m pretty sure we’ll be playing beer pong or something later on.”

You steel yourself against the urge to look at what Osamu is wearing. Don’t look, don’t look, definitely don’t look. Miya Osamu is, has been, a dangerous man to fall in love with. You can’t afford to- 

Perhaps gouging your eyes out would have been a better choice in theory. Even a glance from where you stand beside him is enough to see that not only is he wearing a tight, black T-shirt, Osamu also has a pair of sweatpants on. Is it a sin to wear sweatpants? Probably so, especially with the way it makes your throat run dry. 

“Beer pong, huh?” You try your best to mumble somewhat nonchalantly. “Who won the last time?”

“Kita.”

“Kita?!” you gasp. 

Even that’s enough to make you forget about Osamu and his stupid (and very sexy) sweatpants. 

“Yeah, right? That was the first time he participated. All of us got left drunk in the street, so we decided to do it at someone’s place this year.”

You let out a soft laugh at the thought of a bunch of grown men piled over each other on the road. You don’t particularly like the thought of cleaning up after them tonight, though. 

The lack of words between you and Osamu descends into snorts of laughter that trickle in from the tiny living room. Aran throws his head back, drink nearly spilling out of his cup. Ginjima laughs so loud you see Omiomi cover his ears and Suna holds his phone up, filming every second of Atsumu’s defeat. 

Osamu opens his mouth as if to ask you something.

“C’mon! Yer killin’ me, Kita-san!” Atsumu yells, socked feet and waving arms trying to match the onscreen character’s movements.

Kita, on the other hand, is scoring perfect marks without as much effort wasted. You giggle to yourself as he moves his hips, shaking them here and there. A small smile quirks his lips upwards as he finishes with a flawless ending move on ‘Ice Cream’, the Just Dance characters fading into oblivion on the screen. Atsumu crumbles to the floor in defeat. 

Osamu’s lips form a straight line as he watches you laugh along, raising a hand to cover your mouth. He curses Atsumu’s birth and swallows back his embarrassment.

“Did ya see that, Osamu? Oh- Kita-san is so good at everything!” you gush.

“Atsumu just sucks.”

When you laugh, Osamu thinks something in his chest lurches. Regret makes his head go foggy and leaves a sour taste in his mouth.

3. Place cling wrap over a rice bowl. Place some of the cooked rice over the centre of the cling wrap and make a well.

“No way ya got a love letter!” Atsumu yelled.

“Ya get yer fair share. We share t’same face, why shouldn’t I get some?” Osamu retorted, rolling his eyes. 

Suna watched as the twins began to gripe and argue about who was the better looking sibling again. Nothing unusual, really, given how this occurred every odd day of the week.

“S’gotta be a prank. No way someone likes a loser like you,” Suna mused.

In retaliation, Osamu threw him a stink eye. “You two are just jealous,” he sniffed.

The letter had been written on pretty pink paper, all hearts and cute handwriting as his secret admirer asked him to meet them on the roof after school. Not that Osamu wasn’t affected by it, of course. It always rubbed his ego the right way to know that someone preferred him over Atsumu. Though, it wasn’t like he was interested in anyone then. It only took a second before Osamu ripped the letter in half.

“Woah woah woah! Yer crazy! Whatcha gonna do if some pretty girl gave that to ya?” 

Atsumu’s eyes widened in shock, almost reaching forward to grab the shreds of letter that Osamu had torn up. 

“Does it matter? S’not like I’m interested in datin’ right now,” he replied.

“Seriously? What if she’s like, super duper hot!”

Osamu’s face screwed up. “Are ya a horndog?”

Just as Atsumu was about to shout at his dear brother again, you opened the door to their classroom and hurried in. You had a bento box in hand and a cute pout on your face as you placed it on Suna’s table.

“Rin! You forgot your bento at home again!” 

“Oh.” Suna blinked. “Thanks.”

“Seriously, you gotta stop forgetting your things! I can’t be bringing them to you all the time-”

“Hey, Suna.” Atsumu perked up, referring to you. “Would ya go on a date with Samu or me? Me, right? Definitely me!”

Your face flushed with heat. “Huh? What are you talking about?”

“‘Samu got a love letter in his shoe locker this morning. Cliche, huh?” your brother said between bites of his lunch. 

“Mm, yeah. Cliche,” you mumbled. 

You looked around anxiously for any sign of the love letter. Was it in Osamu’s bag? 

“Can ya believe he tore it up?” Atsumu laughed.

“What?”

Your heart felt like a stone in your chest as you froze, your blood running cold. 

“Yeah! This dumbass doesn’t know how t’appreciate anythin’,” he replied, smacking Osamu on the back of his head.

His twin responded with a muffled growl as he continued to scarf down his absurdly large bento. You fiddled with the cuffs of your sleeves, staring down at your feet. You were quick to bid the third years goodbye as you fled their classroom as an inexplicable ache spread through your chest. 

You didn’t focus on your classes for the rest of the day. The fact that Osamu had torn your love letter, written with all your heart and soul as you crumpled draft after draft last night, tipped you over the edge of your fantasies and had you plummeting straight into reality. 

“Oi.”

You looked up from your feet, glancing up at Suna. The both of you were swapping your indoor shoes for outdoor ones, but you had absentmindedly stopped in the middle of slipping your right foot into a shoe. It was nearing the time where they closed the school gates, so there weren’t many students around save for the odd volleyball club member.

“What’re you doing? Put your shoes on properly,” he huffed.

“Sorry,” you said quietly, and slammed the locker door shut once you were done.

You walked a few feet ahead of Suna as you approached the school gate. Your head drooped with each step, tears beginning to mist your eyes. You willed yourself to hold it in till you got home, till you were in the safety of your bedroom to start sobbing your little heart out. Suna tugged on your wrist.

“Are you crying?” he questioned.  

You shook your head quickly, rubbing your eyes with the back of your sleeve.

“Oi. Answer me.”

This time, his voice was a little softer, yet held a mixture of irritation and anger behind a crumbling wall of apathy. Who had been the one to make you cry? 

“It’s nothin’,” you choked out. “Let’s just go home.”

You turned your face to the side as tears continued to roll down your cheeks, muffled cries turning into heartbroken sobs. Something inside of Suna’s head clicked. 

“It’s Miya Osamu, isn’t it?” 

You had to bite on your lower lip to stop it from trembling.

“That bastard tore up your letter, didn’t he?”

You gave Suna the tiniest of nods. He let go of your wrist and whipped around, eyebrows furrowed together. Not wanting to date was one thing, but treating your confession like dog shit was something else. Fortunately for him, the Miya twins were changing their shoes in the getabako.

“‘Samu!” Suna yelled.

The gray haired male looked up with a face of confusion.

“Suna? Whaddya want-” Osamu wasn’t able to say anything more as Suna’s fist collided with his face.

Atsumu jumped back with a yelp as the both of them crashed to the ground. Your hands flew to cover your mouth.

“Rin! Stop it!” you cried out.

You dashed over, tripping over your own feet as you tried to pull Suna away from Osamu as they traded blows. It took the work of you, Atsumu and Ginjima (who had been unlucky enough to pass by) to tear the two apart, and even then Osamu was still struggling in his brother’s arms to be let go.

“What t’hell, man!” he snarled. 

Suna wiped his nose, glancing briefly at the crimson that stained his school uniform. The adrenaline was beginning to run low and pain began to settle into his fists and ribs. His shoulders heaved with each breath, and your hands clutched his shirt.

“Rin. No more, please,” you begged, pressing your forehead against his back. “No more.”

Suna hated the way your voice trembled as you spoke. He didn’t think it was fair for you to bear the burden of pain while Osamu got to walk away unscathed, leaving you broken in pieces. His fist curled up again.

“It’s not worth it, Rin.”

Suna took in a shaky, deep breath.

You were right.

Miya Osamu wasn’t worth it. 

4. Put about 1tbsp of the filling of your choice on the centre of the rice and cover it with rice.

A week comes and goes after the annual Inarizaki reunion. You’re still finding sticky stains on the floor, as well as food wrappers tossed behind the sofa. Suna sends the group chat a video of you yelling at all of them while wielding a mop with so much fervour Aran asks if you broke it. Atsumu actually apologises and Osamu offers to come over and help clean up. The entire group chat flames him immediately.

As per last week, you walk into Osamu’s cooking class at 2p.m. on a Wednesday afternoon. It’s hot outside, droplets of perspiration rolling down your nape. The cool air-conditioning of the classroom is much appreciated and you don your apron behind the gaggle of housewives. You catch snippets of their conversation as they put their items in the cubbies provided. 

“Tanaka-san, did you see the mushrooms that were on sale this Monday?”

“My son is attending this cram school this summer. Here’s the address!”

“My father-in-law keeps complaining about the heat…”

“Good afternoon, everyone.”

“Miya-san!”

Everyone perks up when Osamu walks through the door. They’re quick to surround him, asking how his day had been. You look tired, take this ginseng drink! It really revitalises your spirits! Did you get a girlfriend yet, Miya-san? My daughter is single, you know! 

You watch as Osamu walks behind his bench, all smiles and “Is that so, Shigeru-san?”. Polite enough to please them, but not enough to make them think that he actually wants to go on a date with their 34 year-old daughter who’s a tired office worker looking out for potential husbands like a hawk. He lets out a heavy exhale, using his cap with the Onigiri Miya logo on it to fan himself.

“Hot today, isn’t it?” he chuckles.

You think that maybe he’s the one that’s making this summer so warm, especially with the way that his shirt clings to his figure and his flushed cheeks that make him look adorable. 

Wait.

You do a double take. Ah, adorable. You must have meant that heart-print apron that Tanaka is wearing today. It is pretty cute, and you wonder if you should ask her where she got it from later on. Definitely not Osamu with his perfect smile that would make anyone’s heart skip a beat, and definitely not when it’s directed at you.

“Gather around everyone! We’re going to be making gyoza today!”

The demonstration goes as usual — Osamu impresses the housewives, they gasp and someone even touches his forearm and asks “How did you get so strong, Miya-san?”. Not that you care, of course. You certainly don’t. What you’re more concerned about is how Osamu manages to make wrapping the fragile gyoza seem so easy. 

Your fingers pinch at the thick dough, eyebrows furrowed together. No matter what you do, your filling keeps spilling out of the wrapper and so you’ve opted to try out for a thicker piece this time. Not that it really matters — Suna will be the one suffering from food poisoning if it turns out bad, anyways.

“Ah, yer made it too thick,” Osamu says as he strolls over. 

You tense up as he leans over your shoulder, peeking at the chubby gyoza in your hands. You pretend not be affected by how close he is and continue pinching the wings of the dumpling shut.

“They keep bursting,” you sniff. 

“Maybe ya put t’much filling?” Osamu suggests. “Here, lemme show ya. Put tha’ one down and grab a new wrapper. Yeah, just like that.”

You stiffen as Osamu flours his hands and cradles your hands in his. 

“Here ya go. That’s t’much, scoop out some more. That’s it. Now gently…”

Blood rushes to your face as you feel the warmth of his skin seep into yours, his hands rough from years of training and cooking. Scars adorn the tips of his thick fingers and knuckles. You suddenly feel the urge to gently trace them with your thumb, to ask him how he got each one of them. 

Would he let you? Let you so close, that perhaps you would be the one to know every single thing about him?

“You did it!” Osamu says cheerfully. 

He suddenly pulls away, making you plummet back to reality. A perfectly made gyoza sits in your hands.

“I’m looking forward to tasting your gyoza later on. Now keep trying!” 

You’re left dumbfounded as Osamu walks away to help out the other housewives. They stammer and blush when they get too close, but he never holds their hands in his own, never smiles as gently as he does with you.

You place the gyoza on a pan and put the lid on with a little bit more force than what is necessary.

5. Wrap the cling wrap over the rice and squeeze and mould it into a triangle shape with your hands.

You try not to make contact with Osamu after that. Attending his cooking classes becomes a game of cat-and-mouse, where you try to tell him ‘I don’t need any help, Miya-san’ and watch him crawl away in defeat. In fact, you decide to skip the lesson on making hamburgs and instead spend the afternoon watching television.

After all, from what you’ve learnt in the past, Osamu is nothing more than trouble. You think it’s worth the sacrifice now to put some space between the both of you so that you don’t end up heartbroken a second time. 

Though, you do feel a little bad. Just a little bit. One day when Suna’s out at training, you hear the doorbell ring and Osamu’s voice ring through the genkan. You hear his feet shuffle by the door and a heavy thump outside before he leaves. You only open the door when you hear his car pull out of the apartment building’s carpark, and find a packed bento lunch for you in front.

You try to pretend that the bunny cut apples and sakura shaped carrot slices don’t mean anything.

“Ah, Suna-san! Where were you last week?” Tachibana titters as you step into class for the final lesson.

“I wasn’t feeling very well,” you lie. “I think I caught a summer cold.”

“Oh dear, that sounds terrible!” the ladies chorus together. 

You think they’re probably just glad that you didn’t get in the way of their beloved Miya-san. You tug your apron over your head, and ignore Osamu when he greets everyone. His eyes linger on you for a little too long during the demonstration — to the point that he actually burns the skin side of his salmon fillet.

Osamu skirts around your bench like a nervous puppy when the demonstration is over. You don’t seem particularly keen about talking to him, though the tips of your finger tremble when he finally plucks up the courage to stand next to you. It’s not close enough for your elbows to touch, but close enough that he can whisper to you without anyone else hearing him.

“Hey,” he begins, uncertain. His voice wavers slightly.

“Hey,” you reply, wary of what he might say. 

“Are you okay?”

You take a moment to think, tipping the sake bottle carefully to measure out an exact tablespoon of it. He wonders when your hands have seemed so delicate, so small. He aches to hold them in his own again. 

“I’m okay.”

“That’s good.”

It’s quiet, again. Just like that night in Suna’s apartment, with all the noise of the reunion going on around you, except this time it's the clanging of pans and utensils, paired with the chatter of many ladies. 

“I was thinking…” Osamu stares down at your hands, turning the measuring spoon over so that sake splashes onto the hot pan with a sizzle. “Maybe we could get a drink together after this?”

You cover the pan and watch its surface cloud up with condensation. You hide your shaking hands by digging them into the pockets of your apron. 

Osamu swallows. Perhaps he had been too direct with you; scared you off with how quickly he was advancing. Or did Suna tell you to be careful of him? That he didn’t want you falling in love with him a second time? There’s no lie about it, that Osamu had been a grade A asshole back in high school.

But he loves you now; has loved you since then. Would you be willing to give him a second chance?

“Osamu,” you breathe.

His shoulders relax slightly when you don’t call him by his last name. 

“I don’t know what to do.” 

Your voice comes out timid, scared. Osamu’s heart crumbles at the edges. He wonders if you would hate him if he reached out and took your hands in his once more. You’re both adults, perfectly capable of rational thinking if only your hearts hadn’t gotten in the way. Love hurts, they said. You want to agree. 

“We can start it out slow,” Osamu suggests.

“I’m supposed to start my new job next month. I won't be in Nagano for much longer.”

“I’m opening a branch in Tokyo.”

“I’ll be busy settling down. We might not get to see each other often enough.”

“A little is better than nothin’.”

“You’re my brother’s friend.”

“Now, yer just picking at nothing, babe. Didn’t you have a crush on me back in high school, too? That didn’t stop ya, did it?”

Your heart wrestles with your brain, insisting on comfort and that love will always come in the form of someone that isn’t Miya Osamu. You’ll find someone, but will they be better? Will they send food to your doorstep, or send you stupid photos of dogs he saw on the street? Will they chase after you relentlessly for years, will they be Osamu?

A lump forms in your throat and you wonder if this, has been, is love. You tear your heart out from within you and let it cling to your sleeve, as pathetic and scared it is. You don’t mind if it hurts. To never hurt is to never have lived, to never have loved. 

By this point, your eyes have misted up with tears and it hits you- You’re about to cry about your crush in the middle of a cooking class attended by middle-aged ladies. You’ve never been more embarrassed. 

“Really?” you whisper, looking up at Osamu with glittering eyes. 

He ignores the “Miya-san! I need your help!” that rings out in the background. He smiles gently.

“Yeah, really.”

A tear slips down your face. Osamu lets out a breathy chuckle as he swipes it away with his thumb, giving your shoulder a squeeze.

“We’ll talk properly after this, alright?” 

You nod numbly. You watch as he hurries off to Shigeru, gasping when he sees how she had completely butchered her fillet. He turns back to you, trying to hold in a snigger. 

You giggle.

Osamu thinks he wants to hear that laugh forever.

6. Remove the cling wrap and cover the bottom of the rice triangle with a nori sheet and set aside.

“One extra large bonito onigiri with spring onions!” you cry out from the counter.

Back in the kitchen, Osamu and another part-time worker scoop steaming rice out of large vats and use their hands to mould them into perfectly shaped triangles. A scoop of filling goes in and a strip of seaweed is wrapped hastily around the onigiri before it's sent to you to package. You place the onigiri carefully into a box and slip it into a paper bag with the shop’s logo on the front for a take-away order. 

The shop is filled with customers even on a Wednesday afternoon. The clock shows 2p.m., past lunch time, yet you can see a queue that snakes out of the shop and down the alleyway. 

Another long day ahead, you think to yourself. 

“It’s our turn!” a little girl squeals as she takes the bag from you, opening it up to peer at the huge onigiri inside. “Mama! ‘giri!” 

Her mother laughs and pats her head. “Don’t forget to say thank you, Haru.”

The girl turns to you, eyes sparkling. “‘Fank you, Miya-shan!” 

A cheery grin almost splits your face in half. Miya-san. Four years on and it still makes your stomach flip whenever you hear that Osamu’s last name has become yours. It was an easy decision for the both of you to get married, really. You had loved each other for years and all you wanted to do in the end was to spend the rest of your lives together.

You quit your office job just before you got married to help Osamu out with the new Onigiri Miya branches. It took some getting used to, but the familiar customers and bright smiles that you see just by serving onigiri each day makes it worth it. It’s tough work, no doubt. But doing what you enjoy with the man you love is more rewarding than it ever could be.

Though, it’s not like your relationship has always been smooth sailing. There are days when you bicker over something stupid (like how you always forget to close the lid of the rice cooker), or when Osamu insists that he isn’t overworking himself (although his eyebags tell otherwise). But love’s a recipe with a few secret ingredients, and you’ve come to master it over the years. 

“Come back soon!”

The shop is filled with the fragrant scent of freshly cooked rice and bonito flakes being stir-fried into furikake. Customers perch on tiny stools as they scarf down onigiri of different shapes and sizes, licking their fingers clean. A plush toy of Onigiri Miya’s mascot sits on the counter next to a potted plant that Atsumu bought (which is surprisingly still alive).

A photograph of the third Tokyo branch’s grand opening hangs on the wall. You and Osamu hold up a bouquet of flowers, smiling toothily at the camera, your wedding rings glinting in the sunlight. 

“One medium onigiri with tuna mayo, coming right up!”

You jump as Osamu shouts out the order suddenly and you nearly drop the onigiri that he hands to you.

“Woah, careful there,” he chuckles, a hand ghosting the small of your back.

“You have ‘ta stop scaring me, ‘Samu,” you huff and roll your eyes playfully.

Osamu grins at you and the edges of his eyes crinkle up. You place the onigiri safely into its packaging and place it on the counter for a customer to collect, before turning back to plant a kiss on his cheek. Osamu’s face flushes pink and he hurries away, mumbling something about bonito flakes.

Your heart soars in your chest.

Yeah, it has been, will be, worth it. 

7. Repeat the same steps as above to use the rest of the rice with other fillings that you prepared.

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu angst #haikyuu fic #miya osamu #miya osamu x reader #miya osamu fluff #miya osamu angst #miya osamu fic #osamu x reader #osamu fluff #osamu angst #osamu fic #hq x reader #hq fluff #hq angst #hq fic #hq osamu

[thusspoketrish]

Showers in the Malfoy-Potter Household

Domestic, tooth-rotting, fluffy Married Drarry!!! Written for the prompt Fresh over at @drarrymicrofic. 2.3K words. Thank you to @curlyy-hair-dont-care for the thorough beta xx

I. That One Time with the Gloves…

“Bugger, I need to shower!” Harry shouts to the empty sitting room as he steps through the Floo, shoulders tense as he kicks off his muddy shoes, waving his wand to send them to the hamper and clearing the residual mess on his and Draco’s Brazilian Macchiato Pecan hardwood floors. On socked feet, Harry dashes up the stairs towards their ensuite, disrobing along the way as the charmed grandfather clock in the downstairs hallway strikes 14:00.

Any minute now, Draco will Floo back in from brunch with Narcissa and Lucius—the very brunch Harry said he couldn’t attend because he pulled Sunday rotation at the Ministry. In truth, he had actually signed up for THE GREATEST WEEKEND QUIDDITCH MATCH EVER!!! between the Department of Mysteries and the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. Harry had been surprised to learn that the DoM swots were a bunch of dirty playing wankers—their self-important swagger causing a stir on the ground and a gloriously brutal match in the air. Harry’s pretty sure he bruised his ribs when he struck the muddy ground at the end of the match. But even with his injury, Harry couldn’t help the wicked grin that crossed his face when Timmons, the DoM’s Seeker, watched in horror as Harry staggered to his feet, punching his Snitch-full fist triumphantly into the air.

The glory. The power. Harry feels like a warrior—he feels like a bloody beast!

The little white lie and a skipped brunch with the in-laws were worth it!

Once in the bathroom, Harry uses his wand to send his scattered muddy clothes to the hamper downstairs and turns the water on scorching hot. Stepping under the spray, his sore muscles relax. It’s absolutely blissful, and he can’t help the happy moans that escape him as the water sluices away the mud and sweat from his highly earned, brutal win. He chuckles darkly to himself. Those wankers from the DoM will be sucking on this one for months to come.

The shower curtain is pulled to the side, starling Harry so badly that he nearly slips, his head whipping around to face his smirking husband.

Draco sticks his head into the shower, making sure to avoid the stream, his eyes flashing. “Well, well, well. Look who’s getting so fresh and so clean after a hard day’s work.”

Harry huffs, covering his nipples with both hands as he says, scandalised, “Merlin! You scared the bloody hell out of me!”

“I’m sorry,” Draco says, sounding far from it. “I was so eager to see my husband after a lengthy morning away from him that all I could think about coming up the stairs was giving him the best shower blowie he’s ever had in his entire life…”

Harry grins. “Babe, I’ve missed you so much,” he says eagerly, stepping back under the spray. “Come on, get undressed and join me.” When Draco doesn’t move, Harry gestures inward. “Come on...come now…”

“Yeah, okay. Let me just…” Draco pulls from behind his back Harry’s dirty Quidditch gloves, dropping them into the shower as Harry gasps. The fresh dirt mingles with the water, swirling down the drain. Harry could’ve sworn he sent those gloves flying into the hamper.

Draco’s smile is shark-like, eager, and ready for blood. “Imagine my surprise when these came flying into my chest on my way up the stairs. I was so curious, I decided to have a quick search of the laundry room hamper, and lo and behold, I found all of your Quidditch gear, sweaty and smelling of fresh mud and grass, darling. Must’ve been one hell of a rotation this morning, huh?”

Harry holds up his hands. “I can explain—”

“Oh, really?”

“Er, yes…” Harry starts, running a hand through his soaked hair. “Babe, it’s those wankers from the DoM’s fault! They’re a bunch of posturing arseholes and someone had to put them in their place.”

Draco crosses his arms against his chest. “Ah, right. And that someone had to be you?”

Harry smiles sheepishly, shrugging. “Well…you know I’m the best Seeker in the Corps.”

Draco harrumphs, tilting his chin up and leaning against the wall next to the shower. “So, you know what this means, right?”

Harry bows his head. “Yeah…” he says sadly, shaking his head.

“What?”

Harry sighs. “No more Mimosa Sundays at Malfoy Manor?” he asks hopefully, peeking up at Draco through his wet, shaggy hair.

“Don’t be ridiculous. You know the mimosas at my parents' are bar none.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know…so, no blowie for me?”

“You’re damn right,” Draco says, yanking his head back and sharply pulling the shower curtain shut.

Harry grumbles to himself, turning back to the shower to rinse his hair. A minute or two passes before the shower curtain opens up again, a fully naked Draco stepping inside.

“But that doesn’t mean you can’t start grovelling the proper way: by sucking my cock,” Draco says with a smirk.

Harry laughs, wrapping his arms around Draco’s waist. “How did I land such a deeply compassionate, forgiving husband?”

“With that sinful mouth of yours, obviously,” Draco drawls, placing his hands on Harry’s shoulders to slowly push him down onto his knees.

II. That One Time Draco Was Trying to be Seductive...

Harry’s entering their bedroom, half an egg mayo sandwich in hand, when he notices Draco standing before the wardrobe mirror. “What are you doing?” he asks, pausing near the door.

Draco turns around, his arms spreading wide as he pops one narrow hip outward. He’s draped in an intricate floral-patterned gold bathrobe. “Do you like it? It’s new, darling. Just arrived from Italy. Rocco-inspired, heavy-weight close-knit silk lined with black satin…isn’t it gorgeous?” Draco purrs.

“Er…it’s quite something,” Harry says, biting into his sandwich.

“Neanderthal,” Draco tuts with a scowl before turning back to the mirror. He slides his hands reverently down the sides of his body as he tilts his head to the side. “It feels like fucking sex,” Draco whispers, his eyelids drooping.

Harry chokes on a bit of egg. Draco grins, ferally, as he faces Harry again.

“I have a surprise for you. Get undressed and meet me in the bathroom,” Draco says imperiously.

“Right now?” Harry asks around his sandwich, his eyebrows shooting up towards his hairline. “Why?”

Draco runs his hands down the front of his bathrobe, his eyes fluttering shut. “The things I’m going to do to you the moment you slip this robe off my body…”

That’s all Harry needs to hear as he sets his sandwich down on the nightstand to pull his shirt over his head, tossing it to the floor before levelling Draco with a heated stare and a wolfish grin. “Is that right? Well, go on, then. I’ll meet you there in a minute,” Harry says, now unbuttoning his trousers. When Draco heads towards the bathroom, Harry picks his sandwich back up and shoves the rest of it in his mouth before getting undressed.

When he’s fully naked, he opens the bathroom door, the entire room filled with fragrant steam so thick he can barely see Draco.

“Er?” Harry says, stepping into the bathroom. Draco stumbles forward, wand in hand.

“I think I may have overdone the steam a bit,” Draco says before promptly pitching forward. Harry misses him by just an inch because he can’t bloody see, and Draco lands face first on their tiled floor.

“I thought it would be sexy,” Draco whines from his position on the floor in Harry’s lap after Harry Rennervates him. There’s a red patch on his forehead and a trickle of blood coming out of his left nostril that Harry cleans up immediately.

“You were! You were so sexy,” Harry urges softly.

“But there was no arse groping. No kissing. No fucking. It was all so unpleasant!” Draco cries.

“Aw, babe. I’m sorry. I think we should take you to St Mungo’s just in case…”

Draco sighs, sitting up but swaying slightly. “Fine. Alright. But let’s not tell them the visit is due to my failed attempt at seduction.”

Harry stifles a laugh. “Of course not. C’mere,” he says, helping Draco to his feet. “You can seduce me after the Healer has ruled out a concussion, okay?”

“Okay. But only if you promise to take my new bathrobe off with your teeth later…”

III. That One Time with the Mongrel…

Draco’s writing out a pros and cons list to determine if they’ll be purchasing a cottage in Cornwall this summer when Harry appears in front of him, a black towel cradled against his chest that’s moving.

Draco quirks an eyebrow. “What in the fresh hell is wrong with that towel?”

Harry chuckles and pulls the towel back. Pressed against his chest is a tiny, muddy little Beagle.

“No,” Draco says firmly, setting his quill down.

“Wait! Don’t be so quick about it! C’mon, babe, she was all alone in the alley by the Ministry! No mum or dad in sight. I couldn’t leave her there!”

Draco closes his eyes against the utterly heartbroken look in Harry’s eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. Of course, Harry would bring home an orphan, Draco had been preparing himself for this day since they married four years ago, only, he thought said orphan would be a wee babe, not a filthy mongrel. He exhales, nods, and opens his eyes, hand dropping away from his face. “Okay. Well. I refuse to have this mongrel in our house looking and smelling the way it does.”

Harry’s face lights up as if Draco has promised him the moon, and the stars, and all the love in his entire being. All over again.

“So, can we keep her?” Harry asks excitedly.

“Yes, Harry. We can keep her.”

Harry surges forward to press a kiss against Draco’s mouth, taking Draco off guard but aiming perfectly, nonetheless. Draco can’t help the laugh that bubbles up his throat as Harry begins to litter kisses all over his face, the mongrel caught between them. “You’re going to love her, I promise. Just look at her! She’s bloody adorable, isn’t she?” Harry says, holding the beast out to Draco.

Draco’s nose scrunches up as the dark-eyed creature stares up at him. She’s so small she could fit in Draco’s cupped hands, but her smell is atrocious. “Sure…” Draco says slowly, leaning away.

Harry hums happily. “I think we should name her—”

“—Beasty,” Draco interrupts, gaze flickering up to Harry. Harry rolls his eyes.

“No, silly! We should name her Pepper. Because she sorta smells like black pepper.”

Draco wants to suggest to Harry that perhaps they need to visit St Mungo’s to get his nose examined, because the last time Draco checked, black pepper smelled absolutely nothing like faeces. But he refrains, the joyous look on Harry’s face well worth going along with the madness.

“Sure, darling, whatever you want. Pepper it is. But she’s going to need a bath.”

Harry nods. “Right, yes, let’s take her upstairs to our bathroom.”

Draco smiles tightly. “Ah, no. I just had that tub put in. I don’t want this mong—Pepper staining the porcelain.”

“Oh, right, right. Okay, well, we can bathe her in the tub down here.”

Draco links his fingers together over his list. “Yes, excellent idea. So,” he starts, eyeing the now droopy-eyed, stinky monster. “Should we use a Petrificus Totalus or—?”

“DRACO!” Harry gasps, looking completely horrified. “We can’t put Pepper in a full body bind, are you insane? She’s a puppy!”

Draco frowns, his eyebrows knitting together. “She’s covered in grime and you expect me to manoeuvre this beast into the tub with its full cooperation?”

Harry glares at him. “She’s the sweetest thing, and I’m sure we won’t have any problems getting her into the bath, okay? Just follow my lead.”

Draco shrugs. Harry hasn’t led him astray yet.

When they finally enter the downstairs bathroom, tub now full of water at the perfect temperature and a mild soap, Draco suddenly gets an armful of Pepper as Harry begins to shed his jacket and jumper.

Draco stares down at her.

She is quite cute, with her large, bulbous black eyes, long, floppy ears, and wee-frowny mouth. Draco believes he can actually come to love this gross little beasty.

“Let’s get you all fresh and clean, sweetie,” Harry says, taking her back from Draco to place her in the water.

That’s when all hell breaks loose.

As Harry struggles to keep a hold on her, Pepper lifts her paws away from the water as if it’s fire, wild yelps escaping her as she struggles out of Harry’s grasp, dropping into the water first before lunging straight at Draco.

Draco catches her, her tiny little body soaking through his very nice, very clean jumper.

“Fucking fuck, fuck…” Draco mutters, staring down at Pepper, warmth exploding in his chest. She’s shivering against him and the anger and shock immediately leave his body as he cradles her, a defeated groan escaping him as a section of his heart unlocks and opens up to this little beasty.

Harry laughs. “Merlin, you are just so bloody adorable,” he says.

Draco scoffs, even as he stares down fondly at her, rocking her in his arms. “She’s a menace, that’s what she is.”

“No…I mean you,” Harry says, his eyes twinkling behind his glasses, cheeks dimpled. Draco can feel the heat of a blush spilling across his cheeks as Harry leans forward to kiss him. When they part, Harry glances down at Pepper before meeting Draco’s eyes.

“We’re building our little family,” Harry says proudly.

Draco opens his mouth to say something mocking, but can’t, not with the ball of emotion that’s suddenly lodged in his throat. Instead, he blinks several times, glancing down at Pepper who’s staring up at him with her large eyes, tail wagging.

“Oh,” Draco says softly. “I suppose we are.” He sniffs. “I think it’s best if we get Beasty Pepper to the vet instead, maybe they can help us give her a proper bath. Shall we?”

Draco smiles as Harry drapes an arm around his shoulders. “Yes, let’s do it, babe,” Harry responds tenderly.

#drarrymicrofic #Drarry Microfic #Drarry fic #Harry Potter #Draco Malfoy #Drarry #Drarry Squad #short fic #fluff #so much fluff #established relationship #harry x draco #married drarry #All fluff and zero pain #which I'm finna embrace as my new normal #hahahaha