#been sitting on this for literally a year lmao.... i should update them along with the playlist hmmm? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nya-vivi · 8 months

Note

ok so i must admit i wasn't aware how long was that ask i sent earlier lol but im glad you liked it! im replying to the ask in another ask again because this will probably also be quite lengthy (im. rarely unable to keep things short lmao) so it should be easier for you to read it this way

anna sounds lovely and the restaurant concept is really really cool, and i completely get not liking killing ocs, i have one oc that i came up with specifically with the intention of her dying to develop my main oc but. let's just say currently she's happy and alive jdhhd

and ty for explaining more on lore and her heart i think i have a better image on what's going on in her story now<3 about that part with caribert, it's probably inevitable that future quests will kinda mess up whatever you or other people theorize about khaenri'ah in regards to ocs and other things, hoyo's really been microdosing on that lore until now huh

and ty #2 for explanation on how qinxi's name came to be, yeah you can send me the webbed site im kinda curious how it works ndhdh and her design sounds really nice too!! good luck searching for more makeup inspirations!

so a villainess that isn't a literal villain, got it. all the transmigration media i read/watched (3) had the mc inhabit a body of a villain in a literal sense hence my confusion jdhdh also skipping college in her story is such a power move so definitely do that, don't waste time on the academic things hdhdhd not worth the energy

catalysts are fun because you can assign the character as a catalyst and then just make them do whatever (*looks at heizou with his kicks and nahida with. keyboard buttons(??)*) so if you eventually decide to stay with this idea it gives more freedom even if you'd like to modify her actual combat style later

and ah well. i suppose it's understandable to be kinda scared of that, seeing all the jazz the traveler goes through ndhdh AND !!! DESCENDANTS!! i can't believe i forgot about these for a second but they're honestly such an interesting concept to me i was theorizing on them a lot back when that part of sumeru quest dropped so definitely do consider making vivi a descendant that would be sooooo cool of her

let's hope fontaine introduces a lot of interesting lore and gives you some nice material to work on<3 can't wait to hear about what else you will come up with

i'll definitely make a doodle of vivi she looks so pretty so thank you for allowing me<33 it'll probably also be only a bust because i hate drawing bodies but enjoy drawing faces ksidjshfh but we'll see. and yes please share with me/mention me in a post with that outfit design when you fully visualize it because it sounds like it will look really nice<3

IM SO SO SO EXCITED FOR FONTAINE TOO JDHDHD i really can't wait, i have a very busy summer this year im constantly going on different trips or visiting new places so i end up not having that much time to just sit down and play for a longer while but i planned to have a mostly free week when fontaine will be released jshshsh (kinda because both of my friends are also genshin players so we all want to have time to enjoy the new update)

our ocs would totally get along im absolutely sure of that and im actually planning to do some more sketches (hopefully soon but we'll see) i'll send them to you when i draw them<3

also hope you're doing well and have a good day! :3

LEN MY BELOVED MY DEAREST I'M SORRY I THOUGHT I HAD ANSWERED THIS 🤡

Under the cut for the answer so I don't clog my moots but aksjwisowen I'M SORRY I thought I had typed everything too?? 🤡🤡 I really have no excuse other than I am in fact a bit too scatterbrained... </3 also lately my notifs had not been working?? So if I don't answer you in three working days (/j) pls scream at me in DMs jabsowjdowbz

To the answer::

1. WE PLEAD FOR HAPPY OCs!!!!

2. I have Lorena cooking at very low heat until hyv actually gives us some consistent lore (aka lore that doesn't have conditions RIP) but I do think about her often. We will see with the next actualizations.

3. The web is this one (you can change and prod around in the side menu!) I also use it loosely and always check wikipedia to see if a real person would actually be called that way LMAO. Just my personal recommendation. I like this one because you have a lot of different hanzi and can look at the meaning. I also use yabla to safe-check the meanings and the reading!

4. So I have finally decided to make her a catalyst (even tho I could make a Kaveh and make her ✨magically✨ move a weapon around) because as you said, you can have a multitude of designs and moves to choose from! (Even if I'm laking in creative inspiration for those lolol) her moves are still a mystery to me ngl but I'm thinking of working on it soon, so at least I have that kavsoadb

As for the transmigration part I'm actually doubting what to do. I mean, the transmigration is getting done, but I am unsure as if to make it as if she just got her last life's memories or to make her replace the original soul (...they canonically exist in genshin no?? Like I'm not making this up right??). Both of them are SO GOOD... They both make objectively great plot points (and the angst material... Just thinking about it makes my mouth water /hj) so I'm not sure. I will have to check with my directive board (my besties) but advice slash opinions are very welcome!

As far as plot points go, good news! Vivi is not going into prision anytime soon :D! I really cannot make a good plot point for that after Fontaine's quest so I discarded the idea for now (on the foreseeable future...we will see).

It's just, Fontaine quest was everything I didn't expect but in a really good way. I really liked the mechanisms and playing lawyers (Yanfei would be so proud of us) and the archon was very fun and incredibly deep for the first nation quests. I completely disagree on the 'she is a brat' pipeline (we know the fandom likes to oversimplify characters into one ot two traits) so I simply didn't see the idea having much logic at this point.

5. I still don't have anything for her clothing javsisdbwdjsbk I have to think more about it tbh. Of course there are things I want to keep (as I said previously) but I just love the ribbons and frills in Fontaine (again.) so I would like to add more (I'm thinking of making something for her sleeves,, it's just that Eula's sleeves are top character design to me lmao.

6. FONTAINE IS SO COOL. I ended downloading it in my village, without wifi. My phone's internet died that day jahsosbdis and went diving as soon as it finished loading aidbwdeodbdie everything is soooo pretty. So pretty I am having trouble farming for Fontaine characters because I don't want to kill any of the fishies... WHAT DID THE LITTLE CRABBIES DO??? AND THE BIG ONES?? AND THE LITTLE FAMILIES?? (having internal crisis).

7. I'm going to scream again about your Vivi doodle because it fr was so pretty... And the fact that you didn't forgot the monocle??? I was super excited to see it oqbdowbdiwbd

This summer went well (I didn't do much tho... Family complications and all that 😵‍💫) and I begin uni in two days and I am. Not thrilled aksbaodbsis I need a few more weeks of freedom 😭

I hope your summer went good and you did all the things you wanted to do (or at least as much as you could do) 💕💕 Lots of hugs from my side 💕💕

#vivi in a nutshell #aaa I don't remember tags ajsbiwdbiw #len🎆#oc: vivienne #i haven't proofread this so if you see any typos i'm sorry kabsiwbd

0 notes

willoftrees · 8 months

Text

update on this

Unless the owner drops the price, we simply can't afford it.

instead, we are going to get just land with no development on it and build our offgrid homes from the ground up.

that was me and my partners plan from the beginning, so we are prepared. it just kinda sucks to have this already built offgrid property dangled in front of us. x.x

again wanna reiterate that we don't own anything or even have money. this is all happening because our current landlord has become so dependant on my partner that he is letting my partner sign to own half of what ever property our landlord buys next.

it would have also been nice to take another air bnb off the market and turn it into a self sustaining community- but maybe we can again do even better on the undeveloped land we have found.

so far we are looking at land that is very close to a river and near the ocean, but still also near the olympic mountains, but unlike the developed offgrid property, we are looking to the western side of the olympics.

i have a lot of studying to do. need to figure out what materials we wanna use for our homes and what kinds of homes we even want to make. if living in a yurt provides comfortable enough, we may forego building something else and just live in the yurt lmao.

but still, things like roofing material for non-yurt buildings, for water cachment will need to be considered. i spent a lot of yesterday just gaining confidence that we can do this by watching other ppl build theirs and it helps that a lot of others who make vids on this stuff are first timers or also relatively inexperienced. makes me know i am more than capable.

one thing i hate about doing this all from the ground up tho is that we will have to cut some trees to clear space for our buildings and food to grow. :(

i will do my best to steer the boneheads working with me into carefully sleecting which trees to cut (like making sure they are not cutting down any trees being used as a home by other animals, or helping them find weaker trees that we should thin out anyhow).

hopefully we can counter what we cut down with what we grow. my long term goal is to grow a permaculture style or at least self sustaining food forest with lots of perennial plants, and to have something i can pass down to my nieces and nephews someday. seems it may actually be achieveable.

it's kinda funny the stuff i am doing is what my parents were wannabes about but never had the focus or drive to actually get there- they literally were often too drunk or high to function but boy would they dream. just skimming along life and beating around the bush of "the right way" to build ones dream of being sustainable (which is the hard way, btw. working to build this kind of dream. my parents had land so many times and squandered its potential each time. they always wanted an easy rout where they got to sit around and others worked around them, but you can't motivate ppl to work if you yourself will NOT.) anywho.

me. achieving my dreams one way or another. god damn.

it's gonna be hard as hell. but ima do it.

literally gonna be camping out while building my home.

also gonna be the worst time of the year to do this shit cuz of the wet weather on the way aixhbsjzjbjajdhbe fuck.

#life update

0 notes

dramashii · 1 year

Text

Drama Update

The truth is I have a million things to do. I feel like this semester is either going to end me or I will end it soon. But here I am actively looking for a new drama to binge rather than finding a proponent to fund my organization’s activities; here I am typing this thing rather than the speech I will be doing on Tuesday. It feels like I am deliberately sabotaging my future (Maybe I am.) But I was never good at making the right decisions. So, here we are today.

I’m currently watching 3 dramas. If you’ve scrolled down in my profile, you will find out that those 3 dramas are: Crash Course in Romance, Our Blooming Youth, and The Starry Love. The latter being my new obsession. It’s so funny, I swear. People should give it more hype. I don’t see much people posting about it on Tumblr. It’s not perfect by any means, but it’s been great at making me forget my academic responsibilities (lmao). Although my week is jampacked with dramas (The Starry Love airs two episodes every day except on Fridays and Saturdays. I’m literally watching an episode every single day.), it still feels like it’s not enough. I need to be overwhelmed by the dramas I’m watching. I’ve read some where that reading a book in one sitting was like drinking one whole bottle of wine by yourself. I actually agree and I want to feel like that when I binge-watch a tv show.

I have made attempts. I was in episode 2 of a Thai Drama called My Forever Sunshine when I decided that I actually want to watch a fantasy Cdrama along side The Starry Love. That it is why I stumbled into the rabbit hole of Cdrama edits in Youtube. I ended up watching The Blue Whisper, but like the previous drama I mentioned, I only ended up in episode 2. It’s not bad but I just wasn’t in the mood.

I was also thinking of finishing dramas, whose episodes I’d missed. Strangers Again ended last Thursday, but I still haven’t gotten around watching the last 8 episodes. I also haven’t finished The Interests of Love. Maybe I’ll get back to them soon or by the end of the year.

I’m also eyeing on watching The Heavenly Idol and Taxi Driver Season 2 but I’m seriously not in the mood to watch something that’s not yet completed as of the time of writing.

Right now I’m just craving for a cute romcom to turn my head off for a minute or for like 16 hours. I really really don’t want to face my responsibilities until tomorrow.

Anyways, this is my drama update for now. Until next time!

#kdramashii #drama update:kdramashii

0 notes

wthtorke · 3 years

Note

I read your "Swimmer's tide" fic and I'm absolutely in love with your writing style. Here because I got worried about you not updating it for a while, and hoping that things get better for you. Thank you for writing such a delightful fic that made my morning ~

Hi Anon, I haven't updated that fic since literal June of last year-, but your comment made me happy, so I wrote one more lmao hope you enjoy it, thanks for being sweet ❤

Swimmer's tide, chp 6.

Shaking his head at the, yet again, passed out human in his hands, AP walked at a steady pace back to the ship. He would be in a hurry if he had doubts of his mate's health and safety, but he knows what a human that's sick looks like, just as he knows what they look like when they black out from fear, and this was just the case.

So, he had come find him, eh? Brave little thing. Stupid, very much so, but brave. He wouldn't accept any less for a mate. The man was...a man, and that alone already put him at a disadvantage. Fuck, if he wasn't so -interesting-.

AP had been taught from a very young age not to play with his food. He was taught to eat it while it was fresh, while it was hot. Not to waste it. To savor it.

All his plans of savoring his mate went down the drain with his decision of coming to find him.

Nothing that a little talking wouldn't solve, though. As ironic as that sounded.

The only talking he ever did to humans was taunting, threatening and then laughing at their dismay. It sure was going to be interesting.

A soft mumble made AP look down at his arms again, to the limp figure resting against him as he walked. His face was a mixture of confused and troubled, even asleep. AP couldn't blame him, he knew he was terrifying. He liked it that way.

But you couldn't be terrifying to your own mate, could you?

Well, not to a human one, anyway.

As much as AP wanted to feel bad for acting on his instincts and seeking this human out, he didn't. He changed this man's life forever and he couldn't find it in him to feel guilty, he was selfish.

And possessive.

Decades and decades for him to finally find connection only to leave it behind? Because his mate happens to be human and lives in a shithole? With a shitty society? Not happening.

AP could and would give him anything. Any material possessions, anything he wanted killed, skinned, dead. Anything. And, he could also be soft for him, just for him.

The whole package.

Who could say no?

As AP neared his ship, he clicked a few times, his dogs running inside, straight to their kennels. AP himself lazily strutting inside, tapping the close button on his way in, not looking back as the door closed behind him.

Focusing on the human at hand, quite literally, AP walked over to his resting chamber, lowering him to his bed. The backpack was strapped to him, which AP quickly set to work, claws easily pressing against the rather primitive 'lock' that connected both strap ends on his chest, hearing a rather satisfying 'click' as it came undone.

AP held him upright as gently as he could, pulling the backpack from him, carefully taking each arm out of the loops, resting them on the bed again. Looking for any reactions, AP laid him out again, looking at the backpack in question one more time.

Shrugging, AP unzipped it, going through the contents in it as his mate had yet to wake. He found water, his "cellphone" communication device and a medkit, no food.

No food?

AP looked back at the sleeping form, eyebrows set in a questioning, mean look. No wonder the idiot fainted.

Shaking his head, AP dropped the backpack to the ground, uninterested in it now. Resuming his waiting time, stretching before making himself comfortable.

Hours later, he stirred. Feeling his head pulsing with pain, he moved a little, feeling around before daring to open his eyes.

He laid on something soft, surprisingly soft, considering he'd been taken by a monster. Oh God, the monster. Slowly cracking an eye open, just barely, he surveyed his surroundings. No monster on sight. No moving, no dogs, nothing. Just him and in a very big room with very big very, oversized furniture.

Sitting up, he looked around, taking in all the details. He was sure whatever took him was an alien now, everything was so strange, so otherworldly. The metal on the walls, the reddish hues from the lighting, the foreign feeling fabric underneath him, so soft but sturdy as he pulled on it.

He should be panicking, he really should. But his backpack wasn't with him, he had no means to call for help, to say anything to anyone, it was just a matter of time until the thing knew he was awake and came for him. He had seen too much, now in the gut of the thing's ship. Was he even on earth, still? What alien would take the time to take him to space just to kill him, right?

The more he thought about it, the more puzzling it was. The thing had been stalking him, that was clear, from watching him at the pool to breaking into his house, to watching him at the pool again-, and almost give him a heart attack, and a bruised knee-, to now make him all nice and comfortable on its -own bed-, what the fuck was going on?

Head snapping back as a fizzing sound came around the corner, he saw the end of a metal like door slide up, some smoke coming off of the other room. Swallowing dryly, he watched as the thing's leg came into view, muscles flexing as it walked inside its own room. Gaze running up, he locked eyes with it, watching as its expression somehow resembled one of satisfaction. Like it was waiting for him to come to.

"Shit." He moved up on his knees, the thing taking a step forward, making him stumble back into the bed, crawling backwards until his back hit the cold wall behind him, the creature stalking towards him.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck-, no, no, no! Stay back-, stay where you are!" He yelled, standing up on wobbly legs, pressing against the wall behind him, trying to either fuse with it or go through it like a ghost, god knew he looked like he'd seen one, "Holy shit-, you're a big bitch, fuck-" He rambled, his brain doing whatever it could to talk a not-from-here being into stopping dead in its tracks.

It somehow worked, it stopped, only for it to start….laughing. At him.

Big bitch? He called him a big bitch, first thing after waking up. After realizing he was alone in his very ship, nowhere to run to. AP laughed in a way he hadn't in a long time, shoulders shaking and tresses covering the sides of his face as he did. This sure was going to be interesting.

Yall can read the other chapters on my ao3 (and somewhere in here, too) but the links here and on my bio, along with the other stuff-,

#its short but its something lmao #yalls kind comments really do give me life #yall have no idea #yautja #predator #alien #yautja/human #the predator #human/yautja #alien relationship #headcanon #aliens #predators #male reader #ap predator #ultimate predator #assassin predator #upgrade predator #swimmers tide

80 notes · View notes

airenyah · 3 years

Note

what are the gayest destiel episodes you can think of?

ohhhhh i gotchu hold on (this is basically gonna end up being a list of my fave destiel episodes lmaooo)

ok so just a heads-up, i don’t really remember much from s10 onwards (a lot of those episodes i haven’t actually watched since they aired whoops) and i’m currently stuck at the beginning of s9 on my complete rewatch soooo this list focuses only on the first half of the show. i might do an update if i ever manage to finish my rewatch (and remember to post an update at all when the time comes)

ok here we go:

4x16 - On the Head of a Pin

dean calls cas “cas” to his face for the very first time

dean is all “you can't ask me to do this, cas. not this.” (about torturing alastair) and uriel is all “who said anything about asking”, but cas is all: “this is too much to ask, i know. but we have to ask it” and that is the moment that dean realizes that cas cares about him and his feelings/well-being and that’s when he demands to speak to cas alone

and it’s only after cas tells dean he really doesn’t want dean being forced to do the torturing that Dean gives in (”i would give anything not to have you do this”)

like, it’s so obvious already how much cas cares about dean already and we’re only in s4

cas is even starting to go down the path of disobedience (with a little help from anna admittedly, but still. he’s starting to consider it)

they’re so?? comfortable?? with each other. when cas visits dean at the hospital in the end

4x22 - Lucifer Rising

dean literally makes an angel fall in this ep, i mean come on... (the way cas shows up behind him all “you asked to see me” after dean smashes the angel statue cracks me up every single time gsdlka)

dean desperately trying to get cas to help him (bc he knows that IF there’s an angel that would help him it’s cas)

cas is too afraid though and dean gets pissed and literally breaks up with him (D: "you spineless, soulless son of a bitch. what do you care about dying? you're already dead. we're done." C: "dean-" D: "we're done!")

this is the episode in which cas makes his decision and chooses dean over heaven

5x03 - Free to Be You and Me

in the previous episode sam and dean had a fight and split up. this episode starts out with dean being pissed and annoyed and just in a bad mood in general

when cas shows up and asks for help dean is very grumpy and doesn’t want to help at first but then reluctantly agrees

throughout the episode, the more time dean spends with cas the better his mood gets (honestly this point is worthy of its own separate post, i have enough screenshots lmao)

like he’s even smiling at the end of the ep when he’s talking to cas in the car!! (except then he looks over and realizes cas has left mid-conversation again and that smile is wiped right off his face and i’m sad :( )

when they’re in that brothel dean mostly has eyes for cas, even when chastity the hooker is standing right next to him

after the brothel incident when dean is cracking up and goes “it's been a long time since I've laughed that hard. it's been more than a long time. years.” like... buddy. your crush is showing.

and the way cas smiles lovingly at dean laughing next to him

dean be like: “personal space” also dean: *reaches into cas’s coat without hesitation* *fixes cas’s shirt and tie without hesitation*

also the funniest thing about the whole “personal space” moment in the motel is that there was more than enough space for dean to step aside and increase the distance between him and cas if he had really been all that uncomfortable but he just. doesn’t. no he just stays right where he is

when raphael is trapped in the holy oil and threatens cas all “castiel, I'm warning you. do not leave me here. i will find you.” and cas goes “maybe one day. but today, you're my little bitch.” and walks away and dean tells raphael “what he said” like the impressed and proud boyfriend that he is

inside jokes (see here)

some more iconic quotes/moments from this episode:

“cas, we’ve talked about this. personal space”

“so, what, i'm thelma and you're louise and we're just going to hold hands and sail off this cliff together?”

“well. last night on earth. what are your plans?” “i just thought i'd sit here quietly.”

“let me tell you something. there are two things i know for certain. one, bert and ernie are gay. two, you are not gonna die a virgin. not on my watch.”

5x14 - My Bloody Valentine

hunter husbands!!

the way that dean is not in the mood for hook-ups on valentine’s day and then goes to stare at cas like That

that iconic phone call at the hospital where cas just appears in front of dean who nearly runs into him

cas be looking at sam while listing all the things people can be starving for, and then looks at dean before saying “love”

ok i know this doesn’t have that many points but really this entire ep is great, i very much enjoy all the interactions between cas and dean in this ep

like when dean is not hungry and cas is all “you're not gonna finish that?” and grabs the plate without waiting for an answer bc they’re this married in s5 already

6x20 - The Man Who Would Be King

i mean... this one is obvious isn’t it

this ep is literally all about how cas is doing everything for the winchesters aka dean

the way sam and bobby cautiously voice their suspicions of cas to dean has the same energy as carefully breaking it to a family member that you think their partner is cheating on them

and when they trap cas in the holy oil and confront him dean also acts like a betrayed wife(gn)

which is such a stark contrast to how sam and bobby react to the betrayal (they’re mostly just like “eh this sucks” while dean is emotionally affected)

and even in the following episodes dean is way more affected by cas’s betrayal than sam and bobby are and dean is the one who argues the most with cas (honestly, this entire arc is literally that post that’s all “how do i know dean is in love with cas? bc sam isn’t”)

ok but the holy oil scene is truly like a soap opera (i mean... “where were you when i needed to hear it?” “i was there. where were you?” and dean looking back at cas one last time before running away)

this is their first big break-up and it takes them until the s7 finale to make up

special shoutout to cas watching dean rake leaves

this ep is a LOT

7x17 - The Born-Again Identity

dean’s FACE when he sEES CAS. and then DEAN’S FACE AGAIN when “emmanuel” is all “what’s your issue?”

dean’s face all throughout that first scene with “emmanuel” and daphne, I’M

“you know, I used to be able to just shake this stuff off. you know, whatever it was. It might take me some time, but... i always could. what cas did... i just can't – i don't know why” BECAUSE YOU’RE IN LOVE WITH HIM, IDIOT

the way dean interrupts all irritated when meg goes “i think we're gonna be good friends too” at “emmanuel” (jealous bf much gsdlksafd)

the way dean kept the trenchcoat just in case so he can give it back to cas should he return (which ofc he did)!!!!

7x21 - Reading is Fundamental

yet another one of those “how do I know dean is in love with cas? bc sam isn’t”

at the beginning of the ep at some point sam’s phone rings and when he says that meg (who is watching over cas at the mental hospital) is calling, dean is quick to stand up and even tho meg called sam, dean is the one who ends up having the phone call with her lmao

also dean has no chill during that phone call lmao (he’s irritated when he finds out meg didn’t call them right then and there as soon as cas woke up and he’s immediately concerned when meg says cas is different, while sam’s just standing there holding his phone out to dean, being all ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ lmao)

dean: *pissed af at cas* also dean: *almost breaks his own neck at the speed with which he whips his head around at the mention of cas’s name and is desperate to know his location when cas calls meg after dean blasted him away with some other angels at the hospital*

ok no but then meg tells cas their location and cas zaps into the car and it’s hilarious how quick dean is to interrupt whenever cas turns his attention to meg in that scene

8x07 - A Little Slice of Kevin

dean seeing cas everywhere

when you see your best dudebro outside the window in the middle of a storm but when you get up he’s gone and you feel like crap because you could’ve made it out of the war zone together and you just cannot fathom why he didn’t try harder and you just don’t understand why you’re feeling what you’re feeling (and judging by dean’s reaction to sam’s suggestion, clearly it’s not survivor’s guilt)

dean’s FACE when cas suddenly appears behind him in the bathroom

jacting joices: the infamous boner scene (yet another example of “how do I know dean is in love with cas? bc sam isn’t”)

jacting joices pt 2: sam and dean are talking case and then cas walks over to join the conversation and there is literally no reason for dean to check cas out (see here)

during the rescue mission when cas zaps into the room and has a stand-off with crowley and then when dean finally manages to break into the room, can i just say... the way dean immediately rushes to cas (who’s ended up on the floor) and grabs him by the shoulder before he bothers to look around the room

D: “that was a bonehead move back there. you could have gotten yourself killed. why didn't you wait for me?” C: “well, i didn't get killed. and it worked” D: “and if it didn't?” C: “it would have been my problem.” D: “well, that's not the way i see it.”

the purgatory flashbacks when dean keeps insisting that cas is coming along with them back to earth and won’t hear otherwise

“i did everything I could to get you out – everything! i did not leave you.” “so you think this was your fault?”

“look, I don't need to feel like hell for failing you, okay? for failing you like i've failed every other godforsaken thing that i care about! i don't need it!”

i know we hate buckleming but this episode, man. this episode

8x08 - Hunteri Heroici

i was gonna put this as a special shoutout but then it turned out that i had more to say about this ep than i initially thought

it’s the way dean and cas keep gravitating towards each other in the first half of the episode. no seriously, they somehow keep ending up beside each other and you start wondering “what’s personal space” (friendly reminder that this is the ep right after they’re finally back together again after purgatory)

the married energy and the bickering

the “talk to me” scene where cas finally opens up to dean (but then interrupting moose strikes)

at the retirement home dean to sam and cas: “no flirting you two” then CUT to: dean and cas sitting at a table with an elderly lady who is staring at cas with heart eyes and... lady: “you are so pretty, charles” dean: *must look at young nurse’s butt immediately to distract myself from gay thoughts*

i’m sorry but the way he smiles so widely at cas at one point when they’re talking to that lady, like, she’s just called cas a bounder and dean’s amused about that but his amusement is not in any way malicious and his face is just so full of love when he looks at Cas, it’s embarrassing really (see here)

9x06 - Heaven Can't Wait

ok so i haven’t watched this ep in like 5 years so my memories on this aren’t as fresh as with the previous eps but! it’s the way that cas and dean act exactly like exes (who are still in love with each other) in this ep

dean’s face as he’s staring at cas through the shop window

dean’s smile when he shows up inside the shop

the entire “i can’t let you do this cas” scene in the car

the infamous fanfiction gap

special shout out to:

5x18 - Point of No Return for all the bickering (“you know what? blow me, cas”) and especially “well, cas, not for nothing, but the last person who looked at me like that… i got laid.”

6x10 - Caged Heat for the pizza man and dean’s reaction to all the megstiel (like jealous bf much?)

6x19 - Mommy Dearest for the strong married energy dean and cas give off in this ep (honestly, all their bickering, it’s glorious) (friendly reminder that this is right before tmwwbk)

7x23 - Survival of the Fittest for the “i’d rather have you cursed or not” scene

8x02 - What's Up, Tiger Mommy? for the purgatory flashbaks with that one monster calling cas dean’s angel and the reunion scene by the river with highlights such as “nice peach fuzz” and “i prayed to you cas, every night” and “i have a price on my head, and i've been trying to stay one step ahead of them, to – to keep them away from you” and “cas, we're getting out of here. we're going home” and “cas, buddy, i need you” and “let me bottom-line it for you. i'm not leaving here without you. understand?”

8x17 - Goodybe Stranger for “i don't know, dean. if he's so sketchy, then why were you praying to him?” and the entire crypt scene (yes this is a big one and yes i’m still only putting it as a special shoutout and yes it’s bc of the megstiel content this ep ok bye <3)

#there is also the late s9 ep where cas chooses dean over an angel army #then i vaguely remember 11x03 being a good destiel ep #and the s12 ep with the ''i love you. i love all of you''??#i know people are still going crazy over the mix tape but i don't remember if the ep itself was very gay #oh and 13x06 - tombstone gets talked about a lot as well #when cas comes back to life at the end of the widower arc and dean goes from extremely depressed to happy af #15x09 was a pretty good one as well i think #and ofc 15x18 with the big ''i love you''#anyway this was fun #i should really continue with my spn rewatch #but the thing is that i'm actually journaling and making notes #and that requires brain #and i currently just don't have the energy to make all this effort just for a tv show #who knows if i'm ever gonna finish this project #oh well #asks #anon #destiel #spn #lmk if i've missed anything (from s4-s8 that is)

24 notes · View notes

sunshinejins · 3 years

Text

if i was dying on my knees (you’d be the one to rescue me)

(title from brother by kodaline)

so, hi! jatp has reignited my desire to write again and this time i think i might actually finish a whole fic. so uh, here it is :) please let me know if you like it, I’ll hopefully update asap, but i’m in uni so asap may be in like two weeks. unless people really like it. then, probably sooner lmao.

pairing: julie molina x luke patterson

fandom: julie and the phantoms

warnings: death bc rose, and i swear once but other than that i think nothing else?

Julie didn’t want to be frustrated, she really didn’t. In fact, she wanted to be sad, mourning, depressed, or literally anything other than slightly pissed off all the time. It’s incredibly exhausting to be angry all the time, and she felt like being sad would at least give her blood a break from simmering.

But her mom died. And apparently her body only knows how to process grief by developing a rather annoying tendency to be irritated constantly.

She tries to forget it though. Instead of wallowing in the negative feelings that cloud her family in the months following Rose Molina’s death, she throws herself into distractions. She gets a job at a coffee shop near the USC campus and puts almost all her effort into becoming a top employee. Her grades don’t drop because thankfully her professors seemed to all inherently understand that she just couldn’t sing anymore. Like at all.

The world kept spinning. Julie could only hope to hold on.

That’s how she ended up, six months later, complaining over a milk frother about her very well-intentioned best friend to the only person she knew would listen.

“Flynn just doesn’t understand,” Julie moans, shutting off the machine and dumping the contents unceremoniously into a to-go cup. Her coworker, Allison, raises an eyebrow and swipes a rag at the milk spill that pools under the cup.

“Did she try to get you to sing again?”

“Surprise karaoke night with her girlfriend and a couple kids from class. Her intentions were pure though so I don’t even know why I’m upset.” Julie shoves a lid onto the cup and slides it across the counter to a pre-occupied businessman who doesn’t notice the extra milk soaked into the bottom. Allison nods thoughtfully and starts dumping coffee beans into the espresso machine. Julie watches her with slight awe. Allison was one of those people that terrified Julie when she met her; everything about her felt polished and put together down to the blunt cut of her pale blonde hair and the curve of her smirk when she smiled. Soon enough, Julie discovered that she was as warm as any of her other friends, but it had taken a lot of closing shifts and smoothie runs to come to that conclusion.

Allison sets down the bag of coffee beans and gives Julie one of her solemn looks; it’s the sort of look where Julie thinks Allison could probably read her mind if she tried hard enough.

“Maybe they’re going about it wrong. You haven’t been around music properly in what? A year? What if you just need to sit and listen to music again to just get you used to the environment?” Julie thinks for a moment. Allison raises a fair point, and it’s the complete opposite tactic that everyone else has been trying, which has been to shove music in front of her to sing and give her expectant and hopeful looks. It’s a trial run. Something casual.

“Where would I go?” Allison smiles a bit and passes Julie a container of oat milk to put away.

“There’s a bar off Sunset that’s hosting an open mic tonight. Very relaxed and casual vibes. I could pick you up from your apartment and take you. We haven’t hung out since that movie night a while ago.” Julie hesitates. It’s not that she’s opposed to spending a night with Allison, but a small part of her feels like she’s cheating on her current circle of emotional support humans by agreeing to go. Not that her dad or Carlos or Tia would mind, but Flynn would possibly take offence and that alone stalled Julie for longer than she realized. Allison clocks the look on her face and amends the statement.

“Flynn is obviously welcome too.”

A mind reader, Julie swears.

“Hell yeah. Let’s do this.”

***

Julie’s feeling significantly less optimistic when Allison’s car has been driven away by the valet and herself, Flynn, and Allison are all standing in line outside the club. Julie can feel the bass of the songs playing more than she can hear them, but the proximity of music is enough to make her palms sweat. Other than the music the coffee shop plays and the strains of country she hears through Carlos’ wall, Julie hasn’t heard proper music since Tia Victoria sang “Amazing Grace” for her mother’s funeral. Flynn notices her nervous look.

“Chill, Jules. It’s all very chill. We’re just gonna listen to a couple bands.”

“Flynn’s right. And if at any point you want to bail, we can go get soft pretzels.”

“But we should try and stay for the whole thing!”

“However, we’re also going to respect you if you can’t do that,” Allison punctuates this sentence with a meaningful eyebrow raise and Flynn nods vigorously. Julie swallows and tries to mimic the courage she had a few hours ago. The bartender scrutinizes their IDs for a moment before allowing them to sweep into the bar and Julie’s jaw nearly drops at the volume of people contained inside. Nearly every seat is filled, and the standing areas are packed with people all jamming to the band onstage that’s currently playing what Julie has to admit is a pretty kick ass cover of “Somebody Told Me” by The Killers.

Allison somehow discovers a table near the edge of the bar, and disappears off to get them drinks. Flynn’s rocking out already, and Julie feels a few of the nerves in her stomach even out as the realization that she doesn’t have to sing sinks into her bones. Allison was right, unsurprisingly. If she focuses hard enough, she can even push out the memories of coming to these sorts of open nights with her mom. Flynn shoots her a large and grateful grin and Julie lets herself smile back. She’s taking a step. She’s doing it.

Allison returns as the band switches and a new band begins to play a hyped up cover of “Africa” by Toto. The three girls lapse into quiet appreciation of the music, with Flynn singing along to every song played, Allison bobbing her head to herself and occasionally letting out a few notes in her vocal range, and Julie just quietly appreciating the fact that she doesn’t feel like throwing up.

It’s all very casual, just like her friends said.

Until it’s not.

As the third band of the night begins their last song, Julie retreats to find the bathroom. It’s hidden nearly backstage, and she’s just about to make it to the door when she hears the panicked shouts of someone from near the curtain which separates the small backstage from the actual performing area.

“Dude, I cannot believe he bailed on us.”

“Are you really surprised? Bobby was a piece of shit.”

“Hey, he didn’t use to be!”

“Calm down, Reg. You know he’s been treating us like garbage ever since that record label thought he had a ‘marketable voice’ or whatever they said.”

“Guys he bailed on us, what are we supposed to do?”

Julie, despite all the “stranger danger” lessons running through her brain, backed up far enough to see into the backstage area. Three guys stood there, two with a guitar and a bass each and one with drumsticks he was nervously twirling. The one with the guitar had his face buried in his hands and kept swearing heavily under his breath. The other two seemed frozen in their own panic as well. Guitar Player removed his hands from his face and Julie caught a glimpse of worried hazel eyes and dark curls. Bass Player opened his arms and Guitar Player tumbled into them for a hug while Drum Player rubbed his back. The three guys looked absolutely wrecked.

Here’s the thing: Julie had an uncontrollable urge to help people. It’s how she got roped into half of Flynn’s schemes, how she ended up teaching Carlos all of his second grade science curriculum herself, and how she somehow became the unofficial backbone of her family after her mom died. Seeing three guys utterly wrecked because, presumably, their fourth bandmate had bailed on them? It activated that uncontrollable urge deep in her stomach.

Here’s another thing: Julie hasn’t played music or sang in six months. She’s had no desire to, and every time she’s tried, the distinct urge to throw up overtook her. Tonight was supposed to be the baby step that showed her whether or not music was something she could seriously consider again; whether or not she could feel that itch to perform anymore.

“Hey, do you guys need a fourth?”

She felt the itch.

The three guys looked up in varying levels of shock. Drum Player recovered first, and stepped towards her hesitantly, wringing his pink hoodie as he did.

“Um, what?”

“It sounded like someone bailed on you. I can play. If you need it.” Guitar Player recovers next and nearly bounds over to her in barely contained excitement.

“You can play rhythm guitar?”

“No,” the three boys deflate, “I can play piano though.” Guitar Player tilts his head to the side as though playing a melody through in his head. He turns back to the other two.

“Bright could fit piano.”

“We never wrote the music for a piano component,” Drum Player wrinkles his nose.

“I did,” Guitar Player admits. The other two don’t look phased, though Bass Player does raise an eyebrow. “I was bored!”

“Okay, but we don’t want to put you out,” Drum Player turns back to Julie and she swallows.

“No, I offered. Let me see the music.”

“Okay, but you have like ten minutes!” Bass Player finally chips in with a surprisingly cheerful tone. Guitar Player hands Julie what looks like a piece of notebook paper and her eyes skim the words and notes. It’s feasible for sure, but she can feel the nerves prickling at her stomach. Guitar Player leans into her space and she clocks how ridiculously attractive he is up close. He gives her a smile.

“We alternative verses like this, see? And I don’t know your range, but we can figure that out on the go.” Julie gives him a small smile.

“Somewhere between mezzo-soprano and soprano.”

“We can work with that.” Guitar Player seems to vibrate with energy. “Are you sure you wanna do this?”

“No pressure,” Bass Player adds.

“Like seriously, none. We can just go home and cry,” Drum Player says. Julie isn’t sure. She really isn’t. In fact, she’s pretty sure she should just run away and hope she never sees these guys again.

“I’m sure.”

Well, that’s that.

Guitar Player sends her a smile that looks genuinely like someone has funnelled sunlight into his body and Julie feels the nerves lift for half a second. Then, they’re called to the stage and all of a sudden she feels like she could puke all over again. Guitar Player grabs her hand and squeezes it.

“You got this.”

Julie files out with the rest of the band and she’s extremely grateful her friends aren’t sitting in her direct line of sight. The piano is definitely worn out from use, but her fingers settle naturally on the keys and Julie tries to focus on the budding itch to perform in her stomach rather than the urge to throw up. She’s supposed to start this song. This song that she became aware of ten minutes earlier. She catches Guitar Player’s eye and he nods encouragingly.

She presses down on the keys and opens her mouth.

Sometimes I think I'm falling down

I wanna cry, I'm calling out

For one more try to feel alive

And when I feel lost and alone

I know that I can make it home

Fight through the dark and find the spark

#julie and the phantoms #julie molina #luke patterson #julie x luke #julie molina x luke patterson #juke #jukebox #jukebox fanfiction #juke fanfiction #julie x luke fanfiction #reggie peters #alex mercer #jatp #my writing #julie and the phantoms fanfiction #can i possibly tag this with anything else??? idk

33 notes · View notes

junetuesday · 4 years

Text

sweetener - [thirteen]

Good Vibes and Good Times

Pairing: Tom Holland x Female Reader - uni AU

Word Count: 5338

Warnings: alcohol, smut (fun stuff that i dont want to spoil by putting a warning for lmao), more alcohol, food, cuteness, fluff

A/N: not to toot my own horn but another update within a month???? who is she??? lemme know what you think of this chapter there’s some stuff in here i’ve never written before (and i kinda went off on a tangent oops) so im interested to hear your thoughts! as always thank you for the love on the last chapter and this series in general, it really means the world to me!

Add yourself to my taglist(s)

Updates: stay tuned....tentatively scheduled for march 1st?

As far as you were concerned, Refreshers Week was off to a great start. Though it was supposed to be a repeat of the first week of the academic year (aka Freshers Week), filled with nights out, drinking, and yet more nights out, you were taking a slightly different route this time.

You’d woken up from your post-Nandos nap on Friday to Liv knocking on your door telling you to get up and start getting ready after she’d gotten no reply to her text messages. You and Tom had slept a little longer than you’d intended, but you supposed that was your own fault for not setting an alarm. After speedily getting ready, you both joined the girls and Jack and a few of Liv’s friends downstairs for predrinks and a few rounds of Ring of Fire. The night got a bit blurry after the dirty pint you had to down hit you in the taxi on the way to the SU, but from what you did remember you had a good night, and the rest of the weekend was spent hungover, snoozing, eating junk food, and just generally enjoying your new found freedom.

Come Monday night, you and Tom were curled up together on the sofa in your living room. There was a “special guest” at the union, which meant they were charging £25 a ticket for some DJ you had never heard of, so both of you had decided to stay in and have some drinks at home instead. Madison and Liv had gone out and gone to predrinks elsewhere, so you had the house to yourselves - which meant you could watch a movie downstairs on the TV instead of in your room on your laptop. It also meant that instead of being squished together on your bed you were lounging on the sofa (not that you minded being squished, but still). You had your back to the arm of the sofa, your legs laying across Tom’s lap while he sat with his feet propped up on the coffee table, a blanket covering your both your legs.

“Can I ask you something?” he said after taking a sip of his drink, lowering his glass to rest on your blanket-covered thigh as you nodded. “What’s going on in this film?”

A valid question - one you weren’t sure anyone really knew the answer to.

“To be honest,” you chuckled, “I don’t really know? I’ve seen it like six times and I still don’t really get it but I still enjoy it.”

“Right...okay.”

“Plus,” you raised your glass, gesturing at the TV. “Look at baby Jake Gyllenhaal - in’t he cute?”

Tom laughed at that, shrugging. “I guess?”

“It’s nearly over anyway.”

That was a lie, it wasn’t nearly over, but you had a feeling you probably weren’t going to make it through the entirety of Donnie Darko this evening. On several occasions you’d felt Tom’s eyes on you, but each time you’d looked over at him out of the corner of your eye he’d been staring straight ahead at the TV, or looking down at his glass as he took a drink, or otherwise not looking at you.

After one such occasion, you set your now empty glass down on the table, licking your lips as you swallowed the last of your wine. You were feeling a little tipsy by then, the tips of your fingers and the depths of your belly starting to feel tingly. Lower parts of your body were also feeling a little something too, and while the wine probably did have something to do with it, it was also because of the boy beside you.

Your right arm rested across the back of the sofa behind his head, your fingers beginning to card through his hair. You kept your vision fixed straight ahead, eyes on the TV screen as your fingertips brushed his skin, rubbing gentle circles at the edge of his hairline behind his ear. Sat so close together, you practically on top of him, you could hear his breathing shift as he took a deep breath in. You looked over at him again as he exhaled, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat as he swallowed harshly. This time he met your gaze, his eyes flicking down to your lips as his tongue darted out to wet his own before tilting his head to kiss you.

You sat up more as the kiss quickly deepened, though the positioning of your bodies on the sofa made the angle a little awkward. You hardly noticed, though, and before long Tom’s glass was sat beside yours on the coffee table, the blanket was discarded on the floor, and you were climbing into his lap, your knees either side of his thighs on the sofa. Your hands cupped his face as your lips reconnected, his holding your waist - though they didn’t stay there for very long, roaming your body as you kissed deeply, messily, all probing tongues and panted breaths. Grinding down onto him, you could feel him growing harder through his sweatpants, pressing against you through the soft material.

“We should, um” you swallowed, trying to focus as Tom’s hand in your hair tilted your head to the side so he could kiss along your jaw. “Should go upstairs...”

He hummed against your skin like he agreed, but then he started sucking on your neck, so it was all a little contradictory. Still, you reasoned, you might as well let him finish what he started, so you closed your eyes, leaning into his hand and rolling your hips against his as his teeth nipped at your skin.

Once he was done there though, you knew you really should move things up to your room - partly because it’s just common courtesy not to have sex on communal areas of the house, and partly because these sofas were here when you moved in and you dreaded to even think what horrors they had seen, let alone get naked on them. So, you placed your hands on Tom’s shoulders to steady yourself and pulled back, feeling a little wobbly as you got to your feet - for various reasons, from the wine, to him kissing your neck, to your legs starting to go numb from being folded up underneath you. Once you were upright you held out your hands, tugging Tom up off the sofa and towards the stairs.

You parted ways halfway up, sending him on up to your room while you made a pittstop at the bathroom. You checked your reflection in the mirror as you dried your hands - a little dishevelled, sure, your hair ruffled and swollen, but you were pretty sure that was mostly Tom’s doing so you weren’t too concerned about fixing it. Alcohol and lust were at just such a point in your system that you were, shall we say, feeling yourself more than you would have been on an average Monday night, a little pep in your step as you made your way up to your bedroom.

Opening your door, you saw Tom sitting on the edge of your bed, and it was only as you reached behind you to shut the door that you noticed what he was actually doing.

“What are you doing?”

You were frozen, your hand still clasped around your door handle as your eyes flicked back and forth between the bottom drawer of your bedside cabinet and Tom, who was sitting staring into it.

“Nothing!” He blurted, looking up at you with an innocent smile on his face before turning back to the open drawer. “What’s that?”

What’s that?? He knew full well what it was, and you both knew it.

“It’s - I-”

“I wasn’t like, going through your stuff or anything,” Tom’s eyes went wide as he turned his attention back to you, shaking his head hurriedly. “I mean I guess I was but not like that, I was just going to get a thing- a condom- ‘cause, I dunno I thought-”

“It’s okay,” you said as you finally moved further into your room, beginning to try and gather your thoughts into something besides ahhhh!!!!! and oh???. You really hadn’t expected to come upstairs to find Tom discovering your vibrator, but sometimes life’s like that, you supposed - full of surprises.

“...sorry.”

“It’s okay,” you said again as you approached him, managing an awkward chuckle this time.

“...can I look at it?”

An odd mixture of embarrassed and exhilarated and turned on and just plain uhhhh???? filled your mind and body as you considered Tom’s question. Quite honestly, you’d forgotten it was even in there, seeing as you hadn’t used it in a while. You’d had no need to, your sexual pleasure quite literally out of your hands as of late - and when you were using it, it was hardly something you advertised. The girls didn’t even know you had it - it was like your little secret. But maybe it didn’t have to be..?

“I guess?”

You sat down beside him as he reached into the drawer, into the little box where you kept the condoms you’d gotten from Liv, and plucked your vibrator from its hiding place. The little purple bullet fit neatly in the palm of his hand, about three inches long and tapered into a point at one end. You bit the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from giggling as Tom held his hand out flat, lifting it up to get a closer look as though he was holding some sort of rare lizard.

“How does it work?”

“There’s a button on the-”

“-oh right, okay.” Tom cut you off as you gestured to the end closest to his wrist, turning the bullet in his hand.

Holding it like you would a pen, he clicked the button on top, his eyes widening as it began to vibrate.

“You can click it again,” you chuckled quietly. “It’s got like different settings.”

“Oh...OH. Jesus Christ-”

You giggled as Tom cycled through the varying patterns and intensities, watching his reactions.

“Yeah, to be honest I think there’s too many like, it’s not really necessary.”

“Oh yeah? Which ones don’t you like, then? Or, I guess, which ones do you like?”

“Ahhhh,” you covered your face with your hands, feeling your cheeks hot beneath your palms as you groaned. “I dunno, this is weird…”

Tom laughed at that, and when you peeked out from between your fingers at him you could see he had a cheeky smile plastered across his face.

“Why’s it weird?”

“I dunno…”

To be fair to him, you didn’t really have an answer to that. Perhaps it was because you’d felt uncomfortable about buying a sex toy in the first place, like by purchasing something purely for your own sexual pleasure as as single girl you were somehow committing to being alone, as though it were some sort of symbol that you didn’t have someone else to give you orgasms, or something like that. Which you knew was ridiculous when you really thought about it, something that was likely rooted in the notion that women shouldn’t really enjoy sex or watch porn or that they don’t (or rather shouldn’t) masturbate - and they certainly shouldn’t be buying things with which to pleasure themselves. You hadn’t thought about it as explicitly as that at the time, of course, it was only after a drunken heart-to-heart with a random girl in the toilets of the SU about feminism and the patriarchy that you linked your embarrassment about ordering a vibrator online with internalised misogyny. In any case, all that internal toing and froing had quickly dissipated once you used it for the first time and you came so quickly and so hard you had to have a little lie down afterwards. But even still, having Tom see it, talking to him about it, maybe even using it with him, was entirely different. Somehow. Despite the fact that you’d been extremely intimate with him on several occasions already...he’d literally seen your arsehole, for Christ’s sake. Okay, so maybe it’s not that weird…if anything this is less intimate than like, oral, right?

Tom leaned back on the bed while you were trying to decide whether or not you felt “weird”, propping himself up on his elbows and passing your vibrator to his left hand so that it was on his other side - meaning that if you wanted to take it from him, you’d have to lean over him. Little shit.

Twisting to face him, you held out your hand and fixed what you hoped was a stern expression to your face.

“Give it to me.”

Tom glanced between you and your vibrator, securely clutched in his hand, narrowing his eyes when he looked at you.

“Why?”

“...Because.”

You reached across him to try and grab it, but he was faster, stretching his arm up out of your reach as he laughed.

“That’s not an answer!”

Your arm stretched out too, but you couldn’t quite reach. Your body draped over his as you leant over him, trying to reach his hand. Flat on his back on the bed, Tom pushed his feet against the floor to scramble further back onto the bed. You clambered on top of him, both of you giggling drunkenly as you clawed at his wrist - until his right hand was pulling your face down to meet his, and you felt him laugh against your lips before he kissed you.

Your hand fell away from his like you’d forgotten what you were reaching for, your fingers weaving into the curls at the back of his neck instead. Your hands in his hair kept him close as the two of you rolled over, his body a pleasant weight on top of your own. You were vaguely aware of the dull sound of the bullet vibrating low and steady in his fist somewhere beside you as you kissed, but you became rather more attuned to it when he started to trail it slowly down your side. Tom shifted off you slightly, and you let your leg fall to the side as he traced a line with the tip of the bullet, across your hip and down towards your inner thighs, following the seam of your knickers through the thin material of your leggings.

You sighed as he started kissing your neck again, picking up where he left off downstairs. In for a penny, in for a pound, I guess.

Reaching down, you placed your hand over his, clicking the button on the vibrator until it was vibrating in waves, steadily growing stronger with each turn before fading away again. You guided Tom’s hand to slowly tease your pussy through your clothes, rubbing the length of the bullet up and down between your folds.

He pulled back from kissing your neck then, watching your face as he copied your movements. Satisfied he would keep going unassisted, you soon let go of his hand. You could hear your heart beating in your ears, hear the sound of your own breathing, shaky and heavy as you closed your eyes and let yourself relax fully. You could feel it building already, the knot deep inside your abdomen beginning to tighten as the ebb and flow of the vibrations brought you closer and closer each time.

You tensed, sucking in a breath when Tom pulled his hand away, but relaxed again once he tucked his hand inside your underwear - until he clicked the button again, changing the settings abruptly.

“Oh shit, sorry- ”

“S’okay,” you breathed, a small smile on your face as you opened your eyes. “Press it again though, I don’t like that one.”

He chuckled and shook his head, but did as you asked.

“Thanks.”

You reached up to clasp the back of his neck, angling your face up to his as you pulled him into a kiss, feeling him smirking against your lips before they connected. Though he’d changed it by accident, you usually switched to this setting for a while anyway. The vibrations were stronger now, short bursts that grew longer and closer together until it was one long, powerful vibration, before reverting back and cycling through again and again.

The hand that wasn’t tangled in Tom’s hair moved back between your thighs, covering his through your clothes to press the bullet more firmly against your clit. Your mouth fell open against his as you felt yourself hurtling closer and closer to release.

“P-press it four times,” you managed to mutter, and he seemed to hear you though it came out strained and muffled against his lips because his hand shifted under yours and the vibrations shifted to a continuous, powerful blast.

“Oh fuck-”

Your back arching and thighs tensing, your hips lifted off the bed. Your hand over his keeping the bullet pressed firmly to your clit, your head dropped back against the pillows and you moaned loudly as you came hard. Grinding against the vibrator and Tom’s hand, your hips rocked back and forth until your orgasm had finally finished washing over you and you let your hand fall onto the bed beside you.

Taking the hint, Tom pulled the toy away and out of your leggings - though he pressed it against your clit again over your clothes, just for a second until you squeaked, your body twitching at the overstimulation.

“Sorry, just wanted to see what would happen.”

You rolled your eyes but laughed breathlessly - you’d be lying if you said you hadn’t done the same yourself. You watched as Tom clicked the button on the bullet to cycle through the settings until it was turned off, a curious expression on his face as he did so.

“What?”

“Nothing…” he shook his head, finally tearing his eyes away from the bullet in his hand to look at you. “So you don’t actually need me like, at all, really?”

You scoffed at that, sitting up a bit and propping yourself up on your elbows.

“It’s not the same. Like, that doesn’t bring me coffee in the library or take me to McDonald’s at half ten at night.”

“Ohh,” Tom smirked, “so it’s mainly just food and beverages that you want from me?”

“Shut up, you know that’s not what I meant.”

You shook your head with a laugh as you pushed at his chest until he fell onto his back, climbing on top of him and reaching for the hem of your t shirt to pull it off over your head before you leant down and kissed him.

“So is it like a ‘friends with benefits’ type thing?”

It felt like you’d been having this conversation for days. Maybe it was because after Tom left on Tuesday afternoon you’d found yourself thinking about what exactly it was that you wanted from him if it wasn’t food and beverages, and now it was Wednesday evening and you were being interrogated while getting ready to go out.

“Er, no not really,” you shook your head distractedly, focusing on curling the back of your friend Ruby’s hair without burning her or yourself.

Ruby, one of your best friends from high school, had texted you the day before asking if you were free for an last minute visit as her lectures had gotten cancelled and she, quite rightly, felt it was time for you to catch up, seeing as you hadn’t seen each other properly over Christmas. You immediately accepted, of course, briefing her on the fancy dress theme for Wednesday night - Angels v Devils. You were going as an angel, mostly because you had a new white dress you wanted to wear, while Liv and Madison were going as devils. Ruby’s costume was to be decided by whichever accessory she could find in Claire’s Accessories on her way to the train station - which turned out to be a white fluffy halo, so you ended up with another angel on your side.

The timing of her impromptu visit actually worked out quite well anyway, because it being a Wednesday meant that Tom was off doing AU stuff with the rest of the rugby boys. They hadn’t actually played a match yet this term, but as far as you could work out being part of the Athletics Union was as much about socials and going out as it was about actual sports. Someone on the team had had the foresight to order a huge pack of devil horns online, so they were all going as devils. They’d also started drinking around 3pm, so by the time you started getting ready at 7 you’d already seen a slew of ‘horny devil’ jokes and stories on social media.

And anyway, as much as you’d enjoyed getting ready and predrinking with Tom on Friday, you were happy to be having some good old fashioned girl time, all getting ready together in Madison’s room and having a few drinks as you got ready - plus, it gave you time to bring Ruby up to speed with your love life. In all honesty, if she hadn’t been there you probably wouldn’t have brought it up at all, but you figured you should give her a heads up because it was highly likely you’d see Tom at some point during the night, and you didn’t want to have to awkwardly try and define the nature of your relationship in front of him.

“So he’s not your boyfriend?” Ruby looked up at you through her hair as you curled the last few sections.

“No,” you shook your head more decisively this time.

“But you’re not seeing anyone else, are you?”

“Nope.”

“And neither is he?”

“No - well,” you paused, considering for a moment. “I presume so, I haven’t asked.”

“Why not ask?” Madison interjected from her spot on the bed where she sat, already dressed and ready, drinking vodka lemonade through a straw.

“Because…” you shrugged, returning your attention to doing your makeup now that Ruby’s hair was done. “I dunno. I don’t feel like I need to? Like it’s just...it’s fine.”

“Right…” Madison didn’t sound 100% convinced, but she moved on anyway and directed her next question at Liv, who was currently doing her eyebrows. “What about you and Harrison, is that the same?”

“Yeah, I guess,” she shrugged, tilting her head to see her brows from all angles in the mirror she had propped up against a stack of textbooks on Mads’ desk. “Like, we’re not a thing, but like, it’s a thing, you know?”

You didn’t know, but you also felt the same way about you and Tom, so you just nodded and went back to applying liberal amounts of highlighter to your cheekbones (and your brow bone, and your nose, and basically your entire face, because if you can’t glow when you’re an angel, when can you?)

By the time all four of you were ready to officially start predrinking you were already a couple of drinks deep (or more than a couple in Madison’s case), so by the time you got to the union you were all more than ready for a dance. Wednesday nights were typically the cheesy pop night, which suited you just fine, and though your friends claimed not to really be that into it you knew they’d be singing along as loud as anyone when What Makes You Beautiful came on. First port of call had to be the ladies’, however, as you had all well and truly broken the seal.

The second stop was the shot bar, which was probably an ill-advised choice seeing as none of you needed to be doing shots at that point in time, but you had a guest, so you had to give her the full SU experience, and that included the shot bar - which was where you bumped into Harrison. You weren’t sure whether he just happened to be passing or whether Liv had summoned him, but either way he was there with his arm around her shoulders and clinking shot glasses with you, Mads, and Ruby too just for good measure.

He pointed over to the dancefloor, and though you couldn’t really hear what he was saying you followed where he was pointing to and spotted a group of boys in the middle of the floor, and you guessed that Tom was amongst them. You nodded to show you understood, but you were torn - you were supposed to be spending time with Ruby, so you didn’t want to seem like you were ditching her for Tom. Luckily for you, she seemed to have witnessed your exchange with Harrison and gathered what was going on, because she just downed her shot, gestured over to the boys, and yelled ‘wanna go over?’ in your ear, so your decision was kind of made for you.

Weaving your way through the crowd, you made your way over to the group, Harrison leading the way. Tom saw him first, nodded in acknowledgement, and went to turn back to whoever he was talking to before he spotted you behind him. You could feel the grin spreading across your face as you squeezed past Harrison, wrapping your arms around Tom’s shoulders as his wrapped around your waist in a bone-crushing hug. He swayed slightly as he squeezed you, so you guessed he was about as intoxicated as you were.

“This is my friend Ruby,” you shouted in his ear as you separated, gesturing over your shoulder to her.

You turned to her and pointed to Tom with your right hand, the fingers of your left hand slotting between Tom’s as his hand slipped into yours. “This is um… this is Tom.”

You laughed to yourself as you introduced him - you’d discussed him at length at pres, so he hardly needed an introduction, but it felt like the proper thing to do. You were pretty sure neither of them heard a word you said over the music anyway, but both Tom and Ruby raised a hand and waved politely at one another, which only made you laugh more - which did make Tom look at you questioningly, but you just shook your head and shouted ‘nothing!’ at him.

Laughing turned out to be a running theme for the night, and you ended up spending the majority of the night as one giant group - which was very fun for you, if a little annoying for everyone else around you. As it was though, you were all too drunk to care about other students, so it didn’t bother you at all that you took up most of the dancefloor and were by far the loudest group when it came to singing along to some pop classics. By the time the lights came on and you all got herded downstairs by security, your camera roll was full of new memories - selfies with Ruby, selfies with Tom, plenty of group photos taken by random people who were unfortunate enough to get accosted by Liv - all of which you swore would be nice (spoiler alert: most of them were not nice, though there were some fun ones from predrinks as well as a cute one of you and Tom that you set as your contact photo for him as you lay in bed hungover waiting for Ruby to wake up the next morning).

Pushing tables and chairs together, you all sat together trying to eat enough greasy food to soak up all the alcohol in your bodies while you waited for your taxis (much to the annoyance of the union staff, not that any of you noticed). You and Tom sat a little way away from the rest of the group, picking at a large portion of cheesy chips with one hand each, your other hands clasped together on your knee under the table.

“Oh, I meant to ask you something.”

“‘kay,” you glanced up at Tom, but mostly focusing on the chips in front of you. “Actually, I need to tell you something first.”

“Okay,” Tom nodded, popping another chip into his mouth.

“Did you know…” You paused, possibly for a little longer than was necessary, but you got distracted pulling off another chip from the lump of potato and cheese in the tray.

“Did I know what?” Tom probed, nudging your knee with his.

“I’m getting to it!” you rolled your eyes, finally breaking the exceptionally long string of cheese that was preventing you from eating your chip and shoving it into your mouth. “Did you know that I fancied you for ages?”

“Oh?”

You didn’t really know what prompted you to say it - truth be told you weren’t really thinking too clearly, but now you’d started you couldn’t stop.

“Mmhmm, like in first year I hardly ever bought coffee on campus, and then- ” you paused again to eat another chip “-then I started buying it all the time from you, so really it’s your fault.”

“What’s my fault?” Tom laughed, his knee bouncing against yours as he shifted in his seat.

His laugh made you look up from your food, and then you started looking at the devil horns poking out from in between his curls and you sort of lost your train of thought (not that you even really had one to begin with).

“I dunno,” you shrugged, “just is.”

“Well...sorry?” he tilted his head and furrowed his brow, framing it as more of a question than an apology.

“S’okay,” you shrugged, squeezing his hand as you smiled. “What were you gonna ask me anyway?”

“Oh yeah,” Tom squeezed your hand back as he spoke. “Would you, I was gonna say- do you wanna come and watch me play in like, two weeks? I mean, it won’t just be me it’ll be like, the whole team - obviously - and another team-”

You’d been nodding the whole time he was rambling, your answer decided almost as soon as he’d said ‘do you wanna come’, but you realised you were probably going to have to say something verbal to interrupt him.

“Yeah, sure.”

“-oh okay, cool.”

“You better win though,” you raised your eyebrows at him, kicking his foot under the table.

“Obviously,” he scoffed, grabbing a handful of chips as he bumped his knee against yours.

You weren’t even halfway through your chips when your taxis finally arrived, but thankfully Tom let you take the box home with you - a gesture which earned him a kiss on the cheek from you and a hug from Madison, who had eagerly tucked in as soon as she came over to tell you your cab was outside. As might have been expected, Liv went back with Harrison (and Tom, who very astutely opted to sit in the front seat rather than squeeze in the back beside them) so you, Ruby, and Madison shared a taxi home, and by the time you eventually climbed into bed it was sometime after four am. It would have been earlier, only you were determined to take your makeup off before you fell asleep because you’d put on fresh sheets for Ruby staying over and you didn’t want to stain the pillow case. Which was admirable, really, only your fine motor skills weren’t too hot just then, so you spent a lot of time just rubbing mascara around your face with a make up wipe before eventually just giving up, flipping your pillow over and getting into bed.

“Your friends are nice,” Ruby yawned as she snuggled in beside you. “I approve.”

You just hummed back happily - you were already falling asleep, but you were glad to hear your home and uni friends got along. You were just thinking about how nice it is when different parts of your life overlap and it works out nicely, when your phone buzzed with a text.

“Tom’s nice too,” you heard Ruby murmur sleepily as you pulled your phone out from under your pillow. “I like him.”

“Yeah,” you muttered back as you read the message on your screen. “Me too.”

Tom Holland Glad u got home ok Goodnight angel x

⋘TWELVE | FOURTEEN⋙

TAGLISTS:

PERMANENT: @morganstarks @applenter @littlegreenpill @que-es-life @aussie-holland @tiny-friggin-human @parkerstylesperalta @pineapplwz @desir-ae @parker-holland-osterfield @fallingspidey @whothehellisbucky @hotchocolattee @parkerpuff @dangerousluv1 @unfortunatekiwitrash @thwip-it-real-good @aesthetic-png @spiderboythomas @tomhollandsbitch @fragilebeautifulchaos @trustfundparker @undiadeestos @yourwonderbelle @steve-avengers-rogers @xxtomxo @starksparker @spiderboytotherescue @dahliaspidey @newsienewsie @iknowisoundcrazy @lala-florez @marshmallow-babe @sessi03 @crazy-bout-books @parkersvibes @captainbuckyy @toomuchdaegu @peterparkoure @imagine-lovebug @permanentlyenchanted @deathofmissjackson @txmhoelland @solarspidey @keep-bears-wild @awkwardfangirl2014 @nedthegay @spider-babes @supernatural-girl97 @fallinallinjapan @popculture-parker @littlebookbengal @joonmail @chubby-cheek-calum @just-a-littlebit-of-everything @quinjetboi @honeymoonparker @madeinthemidnightmemories @timelock97 @therealcap @jurassicparker @soccerstud004 @kaleidoscopic-sunflower @fairydustparker @babyplutoszx2 @hollandfanficlove @adayasgeorgia @ultrunning @hannahholland1811 @scaryaryanna @bellsclarkee @imayhavemisunderstood @altuniverse @detroitbydark @peterparkersbodyguard @1022bridgetp @wdwimagine @uwu-peter-parker-uwu @thwippeter @itsvianny @laucontrerasv @misspepper07 @larrypetrova @neverletyoufall @stretchkingblog97 @jiminielatte @baebeepeach @unholyhaz @nicole-lynne @sargent-s @hcneybugs @rxsesinjune @hollandlovely @learning-howto-be-myselfx3 @miraclesoflove @sarahkatexoxo @anything-and-everythingg20 @peterpandco @musiclover1263 @alexv2902 @fulltime-fangirl-k @glascatt @lauras-collection @violet-lilyy @sedulouswrtr @sweetenergloss @tom-hollands-blog @qrangr @chewie-redbird @bearsbeetsbarnes @alexs-mardy-bum @scarletpparker @gwens-spiders @mountaintreemountain @youllbemineandillbeyours @itsjusttor @captainsteverodgersgirl @thelittlemisssunshine @s-lou-g @superspideyy @forggetablle @realiteaas @iamcalledsteph @au-shay-lia @emistrash @awwyeaahh @tobleroneshawn @silverdragontail @mcutomholland @aclassypuppy @peteunderoos @badhollandfluff @totesem @imsuperawkward @tiny-twat-turtle @the-claire-bitch-project @nixedloved @zeeneee @spxder-bxcky @girl-of-a-thousand-universes @queenofthefangirls7 @lovely-luke @pastelpinkbubbles @justcallmehitgirl @maybemona @space-holland @hoefourholland @marvelsangels @tomspidertingle @loveyou3000tony-stark @pandabear2600 @writerwithsometalent @efisso @romanoff-nataliaalianovna @marshyrebelcloud @starlightparker @lilsxtan @jillanaholland @what--you--egg @sunshine96love @a-parker14 @no-no-notorious-writes @angelhaz11 @relise-thefury @its-the-unknownspidey @dorbiksbitch @nerd-domland @isingidanceidothings @mukesnugget @cassiopeiaskies @morbiddanvers @infamousmany @stiles-banshees @dreams-with-thoughts @pahoehoehoe @wonderfulsparklydirt @jennasblog @fanficscuziranout @happy-el @coffee-and-stories @frustratingpaperclip @shininfate @castawayclaires @siriuslyslyslytherin @yourmum792 @supernaturalyloki @goradgirl @imboredat2am @lowkey-holland @dancingunicorn113 @rebekkah4766 @young-psychos

// CAN’T TAG: @tiny-parker @holland-underoos @bilkyrie @enchantingkittengladiator @spideytrash @hauntedbysilence @gia-knows @cutesparker @princerowanwhitethorngalathynius @parkersindustrys @swagsoulpenguin @angryrantsstuff @peter-beter-barker @aulxna @hazelglimmer @hazehurricane @amazingjordanjazzyisnotonfire @itsrecklesscalum @lexa-bean @spideyxsquared @thomasxspidey @liveholland @alexiatheclown @hazssouthernbelle @just-a-human-bitch @juneholland @imdrunkisuposse @gendryia @tyemmamarvel @thatweirdomimic @i-stan-brie-larson @darlingxholland @boyfriendholland @lostandinsecure @deartomhardy

SWEETENER: @5secondsofalphas @spiderrpcrker @lexshead @boundtorain @ohmyquackson @tomhaz @gioandreolli @writtenbypics @iamscribby519 @violet-lilyy @crazyfreaker @redmxnn @splashofbi @sweetest--sorrow @peterbparkerr @rhapsodyparker @mismatchingsocks @kindheartsclub @tommybaholland @tommyhollandaisesauce @oh-my-fancan @hufflepuff-always-and-forever @captiveties @alwaysafanficwriter @particularmila @little-hoseok @danny-the-coolest @plxstic-rose @makesmefeelalive @misslexilouwho @stop-wonder-think @hollandhomie @buckyofthemyscira @killer-barnes @spicywrites @softboyparkerr @rosieredcheeks @hypnotized-so-mesmerized @misspepper07 @suckzdiangelo @hollandhearts @wizliar @thatasthma @kermitsnumberonefan @nxthernlightsjpg @stevesscoops @sunspellman @pretty-parkerr @dah-knee-cuh @spidey-holland-96 @glader-groupa-sub8 @marvelous-babe-3000 @sannahkhan @a-filmbypeterparker @i-fellinahole @thewackywriter @i-want-all-the-cheetos @spidergirl192327 @imfreefallinall @amberthefiredemon @peaky-shelby @1-800-i-didnt-ask @nightfire098 @ivyrivers @whatevsholland @realityisabitch07 @nine-butterflies @marveltho @di3connected @panic-at-space-camp @too-many-lanes @anxious-diabetic @yamyam515 @ya-lame @house-arya @sweetest66 @apple-scruffs @louvegoods @chaoticbuck @anna-cheyenne @thomaslefteyebrow @welldamnshawn @woodstockbrb @softbaby-tom @iriaaarb @princesof-theuniverse @ghouls-buddy @chubbybunny111 @worldoftom @sweet-baby-cakes @harrysfloppyhair @localforeiigner @thomasstanley-h @blurry-irwin @thebrighteststarr @head-auror-potter @rubberducky-jrr @thinkoutsidethebex

// CAN’T TAG: @moons-skeletons @cptnrogersss @emmaeb2014 @loiscastle @bumba-bitch @lianimal89 @steadyholland @lottabirkin @lovcyou3000 @myimagineoutlet @tinycollectivetrash @muffinmari25 @deathofthethrones @shaharloni1 @mellow-delight @gracemrm @halowings1123

#tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland fic #tom holland fanfic #tom holland imagine #tom holland blurb #tom holland headcanon #tom holland smut #tom holland fluff

377 notes · View notes

yikesharringrove · 4 years

Note

Hi!! I was just curious about Nancy and Jonathan’s relationship in your mango series! I was wondering if Nancy was an alpha? If she is, does that mean that Jonathan is a Beta or an Omega? Kids??? I have so many questions and am way too invested in this tiny part of this universe lol Please feel free to make this into a part with Steve and Billy talking to them about pups and bonding if you would like.

Masterlist

Part 29

I realized I literally haven’t mentioned the Wheelers this entire time rip to them I guess

Also I’m using this part as background to everything esp how Billy and Steve got together. Also no monster au I guess? tbh this part just made me realize NONE of this series is thought out

I literally never established a timeline, so I’ve decided it makes more sense for Billy to come to Hawkins earlier. You’ll see lmao. (this started as a little nonsense thing so the timeline of the whole Mango series is so whack pls no one try and do the math)

+I had traumatic emergency surgery on my uterus several years ago, so I’ve based all of Steve’s stuff on that

Steve dated Nancy Wheeler for about a month.

He was always drawn to fiery alphas, liked when they had sharp tongues, weren’t afraid to speak their mind. He liked ‘em smart.

Nancy seemed perfect to him, but Nancy didn’t like how much work omegas were. They needed constant reassurance of love, so much touching and cuddling, and that’s just not how she operates.

They had been casually dating for about a month early in her sophomore year when he asked her to spend his heat with him. She knew that meant he was serious about her, and let him down as gently as she could.

He didn’t take it too hard, and even invited her to a party he was throwing at his big empty house.

That was the first night she really talked to Jonathan Byers.

Their families had always been close, and they had been uncomfortable acquaintances for a long time, but she found him making a pip out of an apple, sat in the kitchen with him and got stoned for the very first time.

They were sitting close to one another, leaning closer, about to kiss when there was a splash outside, there was screaming.

They rushed out to see Steve Harrington, wet and shaking in the cold November night air, doing CPR on, on Barb.

He yelled at Tommy H., told him to call an ambulance.

Barb looked bad. Her lips were tinged blue, her skin pale.

She sank down next to her. Jonathan gently touching her back.

Most of the kids ran when they heard authorities were coming.

She held Barb’s freezing hand until the paramedics arrived.

Steve hadn’t stopped doing CPR the entire time had heard Barb’s ribs crack and splinter from the force.

The paramedics called it.

Steve was never really the same after that. He had become more withdrawn, had quit the swim team and stopped throwing big parties, he started babysitting Dustin Henderson, ended up babysitting most of the party soon enough.

He was still nice to Nancy, would ask her and Jonathan to hang out sometimes. She always thought he was sweet that he was a big heart. Hell, she sat there while he did CPR on her best friend for twenty minutes, but it was easier with Jon. As a beta, she didn’t have to be someone she wasn’t just to keep him from emotional breakdown.

But then Billy Hargrove rolled into town in the beginning of the summer, was all California golden, a big imposing alpha, and she began seeing less and less of Steve.

She thought it was just a summer fling, Billy didn’t seem like the type to stick around for very long, didn’t seem like the monogamous type.

Steve had a bad habit of trusting alphas too quickly, had been with alphas that just wanted to be able to say they’d fucked a male omega.

They were so uncommon, and usually these alphas were just curious, knew male omegas were the only presentation identifiable at birth due to their genitals, had wanted to see for themselves.

But Billy stuck around, starting hanging around Steve wherever he was, joining him when he spent time with the party, or with Jonathan and Nancy.

Billy was starting to grow on her more, as she watched and realized he loved Steve, that he wanted to be as clingy as Steve needed.

They would go on double dates sometimes, and Billy would pull Steve to sit on his lap just as often as Steve would plop himself on Billy’s lap. So she guesses they’re kind of a match made in heaven.

And then Steve got pregnant.

And she expected Billy to run for the hills, but he didn’t. Got kicked out of his house for Steve, changed his whole world for Steve and their pup, and at this point, they were four years in, had two happy pups and we in the process of moving into their first house.

She and Jon hadn’t even talked marriage yet, let alone bonding, were focusing on getting through school.

They had both gone to New York without even consulting one another, decided they didn’t want each other’s college choices to affect the other, that they should pick the best school for themselves.

When they revealed to one another, Jon showed her his acceptance to NYU, his dream school, while Nancy had handed him her Columbia letter.

She got regular updates from Steve, letters stuffed full with photographs and weekly reports. She contacted a bakery local to him to send him a cake when he called and excitedly told her that he had finally gotten his GED, had dropped out of high school in the February of his senior year when he got kicked out of his house, when he was the talk of the whole damn town.

“Letter from Steve.” Jonathan placed the rest of the mail on the counter, ripping open the envelope. “He put in updated pictures of the girls, look.” Nancy cooed over the photos. There was a gorgeous one of all four of them at the beach, Steve had infant Zara strapped to his chest, Billy was holding Mina. It was so cute. “He said they finished painting the house and should be moving in this week.”

“He mention how he was doing?”

“Of course not, have you met him? The only reason we actually knew he almost fucking died was because Billy called us.”

“I guess you’re right.” She was still flipping through photos. “Oh look at this one!” It was Steve caught mid laugh while Mina was doing him hair behind him. “We should go out to California soon to see them. Especially once they’re in their house.

“I’m gonna write Steve back, maybe we could go for New Year’s, or something.” She smiled up at him, stretching on her toes to kiss his jaw.

“I think that sounds nice.”

Mina was currently in the process of showing Jonathan every single toy she owned.

His lap was full of plastic food, blocks, dolls, stuffed animals, books, everything. She was talking excitedly about her little toy Camaro, the one that looked just like Daddy’s!

Nancy was just laughing as Jonathan nodded along patiently. He talked to her like she was an adult, asking her details about each toy in a very serious voice.

Steve slowly set himself on the couch. His abdomen still sore from surgery a few months ago. He was holding Zara, all dressed up in a little onesie that looked hand-knitted.

“How are you doing?” Steve rolled his eyes. Jon and Nancy kept asking.

“Nance, I’m fine. Just sore is all.” He kept dodging her real questions. She knew that the doctor had told Steve there was a chance he wouldn’t be able to be pregnant again, knew it was probably weighing on him. She just looked back and Jon.

“How is Mina doing with Zara? I remember when Mike was born I wanted nothing to do with him.” Steve laughed, bouncing Zara a little.

“She loves her. I swear if she could get me and Billy outta the picture, she would rather raise Zara on her own.” Zara gave a little choked off wail. “Sweet Pea, you are fine.” He put her on his chest, patting her back. “How’s school and everything?”

“It’s good! Jon’s going to end up graduating a semester early, so he’ll be finished by this time next year.”

“Oh, wow. Good for him!”

“I hear you left work, how’s that going?” Steve shrugged.

“They could only offer me one month of leave, and with the surgery and everything, I needed much longer. But you know I don’t mind staying home with these two. I mean, Mina’s in full day preschool now, just Monday to Thursday, but Zara is pretty fussy, so it’s okay. Once she’s not breastfeeding anymore, I’ll probably find a new job.”

“And Billy’s school is going okay?”

“Oh you know him, just overachieving at every stage. He had to cut back on his hours at the garage, he got a really nice internship at a law firm in town, and he’s actually getting paid for it.” Billy had been studying pre-law at UCSD, wanted to go into some kind of prosecution, possibly specialize in domestic cases. His internship was more personal assistant work to one of the partners of the firm, but it was better money than the garage, and something to beef up his resume a bit more.

Steve could hear the garage door beginning to rumble and whine as it slid up.

“Speak of the devil.” He smiled at Billy as he came in, kicking off his shoes. Mina sprinted up to him, wrapping her arms around his waist, standing on his feet as he walked over to everyone.

“You talkin’ ‘bout me, Pretty Boy?” He picked up Mina so he could perch on the armrest next to Steve, giving him a kiss.

“All good things. Kind of.” Nancy doesn’t think she’s ever seen Billy Hargrove in a suit. He loosened his tie, had take off his jacket to place into the coats closet, was currently rolling up his crisp sleeves. She could see edges of a few tattoos. She knew he and Steve had each gotten each others initials on their shoulder blades, adding the pups initials underneath them both. Apparently Billy was beginning to work on sleeves. “How was work?”

“Eh. Same old.” He shrugged, putting Mina down to go back to “playing” with Jonathan. He lifted Zara from Steve. “How are you doin’, Nancy? How’s the Big Apple?”

She waved a hand non-noncommittally. “Oh, it’s good. Jon’s working for some underground paper, shooting for punk shows.” Billy grinned.

“Well done, Byers. I’m sure your kid brother’s plenty jealous.” Jonathan laughed.

“He’s come up for a few of the shows he’s really wanted to see. Which is to say most of them.” The timer went off from the kitchen. Steve went to stand, only to have Billy push him back down, handing Zara back to him.

“Sit tight, Pretty Boy. I got it.” Steve rolled his eyes, but smiled softly at Billy all the same.

“He was a nightmare when we were moving in, wouldn’t let me lift anything over ten pounds.”

After dinner, Steve and Billy tag teamed putting the girls to bed.

It was kind of amazing to watch. Billy got Mina dressed for bed as Steve fed Zara, then they swapped, Steve made sure Mina brushed her teeth while Billy changed Zara, swapping again so that Billy could read a book to Mina and Steve rocked Zara to sleep.

They were so practiced and efficient, both girls were asleep with half an hour.

“You get a lot of practice with the bedtime thing. I mean, it’s every night.” They were sitting on the back porch, on patio furniture that had apparently been a gift from Claudia Henderson.

It was a perfect night, the Southern California air was just chilly enough to warrant a sweater, but perfect for just being in.

“There’s a park a few blocks that way that’s doing fireworks, we should be able to see them from here.” Steve had poured them each some champagne. Steve and Billy were sitting one the chairs across the little coffee table between them.

They chattered through as the clock ticked down, getting closer and closer to 1989.

Ten seconds to midnight, Billy helped Steve stand up. Five seconds to midnight, Jonathan was digging in his pocket.

The fireworks began as Steve pressed his lips to Billy’s. Nancy turned to do the same, choking on a gasp as she saw Jon down on one knee. Steve shrieked, scrambling for a camera.

“I wanted this to be the first thing I did this year.” Billy was grinning like an idiot, Steve was taking picture after picture, his big eyes full of tears. “I know you want to establish our lives before bonding or having pups, and that’s okay, we can just be engaged for a couple years, whatever you want.” Nancy had one hand in front of her mouth, tears dripping down her cheeks. “Whatdya say?”

“Oh my god, absolutely yes!” Billy and Steve cheered as Jon stood up, kissing Nancy before sliding the ring on her finger.

#yikes writes #mango #me before this part: I have never heard of the Wheeler family ever in my life #harringrove #steve harrington #billy hargrove #harringrove abo #steve harrington x billy hargrove #billy hargrove x steve harrington #omega steve harrington #alpha billy hargrove #mpreg

113 notes · View notes

yaz-the-spaz · 4 years

Note

What are your theories about this pr*gnan*y? You think they will fake a miscarriage, that G*gi's a surrogate or she will fake having a baby bump and then we will never have news about this b**y?

Anon #2: do you think quarantine made it easier for them to do babygate, which is why they’re pushing it now, or do you think it was already planned for this month / date? what do you think?

putting my answer under the cut for reasons*

i’ve said it before in tags but yeah, as absolutely shitty and diabolical as it sounds, a miscarriage is basically the only realistic way i see this playing out for her cause it just does not make any level of sense for her to blow up her entire modeling career right at its height and saddle herself with a whole child i.e. a whole 18-year commitment THIS young and with a man she can barely even maintain a stable relationship with no less (and had also only just gotten back together with - for the 678th time lol - around the supposed conception date), while also risking her own health and her baby’s health (given her supposed hashimoto's disease which would make this both a miracle pregnancy and a high-risk pregnancy, ripe with the threat of a multitude of dangerous complications) all for A LITTLE extra attention.

and while i think there’s a possibility it may have already been planned for sometime around this period, i absolutely think quarantine made it easier for them to do this right now b/c they’re able take huge advantage of the fact that this is a time where no one can really confirm anything outside of family for a good long while, so there’s less opportunity to invite questions and speculation since there’s no one else really seeing her that would be able to go and say well she definitely didn’t look pregnant when i saw her, or to let something slip about how she was doing stuff that a 5-month pregnant woman - esp a high risk pregnant woman - should not be doing (nvm that she slipped up all on her own by posting shit of herself riding horses, and drinking wine and coffee and her stomach looking flat af in the weeks prior to this announcement lmao) but the fact remains they can very easily keep everything locked up tight within the family, where the story and any others details or pics and vids that are released can be very much controlled

also news is fairly slow rn and everyone is literally just sitting at home with not much else to do THAN watch the news (for updates of this virus situation mostly ofc, but it also kind of forces a wider audience that maybe wouldn’t normally see it/pay attention to it to now be inundated with announcements of it whenever they go to check into the news) so in terms of making a huge splash this is probably literally the BEST time in actual modern history that they could have conceivably done this because it is one of the only big things/news items going on for ppl to talk about rn outside of the pandemic

tl;dr - b/c as usual this got way long but anyway all that said, the short of it is that the only way i can really realistically see this playing out in a way that makes sense for her, as shitty as it may sound, is that they're trying to make a huge splash/huge deal out of the fake pregnancy news, which they’re gonna milk for as long they can while playing around with camera angles and clothes, and take advantage of this quarantine where no one can really confirm outside of family for a good long while and where the story and surrounding “evidence” can be easily controlled, and then claim she had a miscarriage or something (or maybe just complications that resulted in the loss of the baby) due to her hashimoto’s disease to make an even BIGGER splash from the ensuing sob story

again, its SUPER fucked up but it's the only thing that makes sense cause i really cannot see her destroying her career and foreseeable future over all this just to get a little more attention. alternatively there’s the possibility that she is pregnant (but just not by zayn obviously lol) and has just been extremely reckless and unsafe during this pregnancy in her hobbies and eating/drinking habits, and therefore this baby is severely underweight and that’s why she’s barely showing at 5 months and doing things that she should really not be doing, esp this far along into what should be a high-risk pregnancy if she does in fact have hashimoto’s and that was not just a giant lie too to cover up her alleged drug use and fluctuating weight...but again, given that she was just at the height of her modeling career and presumably still has a fair bit of opportunities that she would lose out on by getting pregnant and taking on the responsibility of raising a child right now, i would think she would do everything in her power to avoid getting pregnant (or going through with the pregnancy once she found out she was) and bury the story. not shout it from the rooftops as loud as she can and create a whole narrative around starting a family with a man that just last year she made out to be “too unstable” to even maintain a two-person relationship but is suddenly stable enough to raise a whole child???

a man who btw has literally not said A WORD about any of this, and whose family i’m pretty certain have also not said A WORD about it publicly. a man who has has not been "present" for his gf’s or any of the hadid family members "announcements" about it either and like...in what world is that normal lol? like first off in what world is someone who's being painted as such a happy/proud boyfriend and father-to-be NOT there with his gf and/or her family for the announcements being made about his own soon to be family lol? and second of all, and biggest of all, IN WHAT WORLD WOULD THE BABY-LOVING CLOSE-KNIT AF MALIK FAMILY NOT BE LOSING THEIR MINDS WITH OVER THE TOP JOY AND PRAISE AND EXCITEMENT OVER A NEW ADDITION TO THE FAMILY (if it was real lol) FROM THEIR BIGGEST PRIDE AND JOY ZAYN??????

and moreover, i’ve said this before also and i will say it again as many time as i need to, but why is no one seeing how weird it is that so many members of a boyband have babies by women they're not married to?? when THE FUCK has it been normal for so many members of a boyband to have kids before the age of 30 and NONE OF THEM BE MARRIED TO THE ACTUAL MOTHER OF THEIR CHILD???? like i know the people behind the scenes are trying their absolute hardest to make that seem normal and like it's just the millennial way or whatever but THAT IS NOT FUCKING NORMAL

#asks #anons #tagging this as #ziam #because honestly these are some of the biggest red flags for me as to why ziam remains real if there ever was any lol #you shouldn’t have to put this much work in to make a pregnancy make sense #and the only reason i can think of for why someone would feel the need to jump through this many hoops #is because there really IS something there to cover up #and ppl aren’t buying your bullshit #so you’re trying your damndest to distract from the giant gay elephant(s) in the room #while taking the added bonus opportunity to milk the ensuing attention for all its worth #anyway #z*gi #babygate 3.0 #my thoughts #(*reasons primarily being that just in case antis are still monitoring my blog #they will literally have to do extra work just see this #and can't claim they just 'happened' upon it lol)

66 notes · View notes

stonerbughead · 3 years

Text

Maria watches friday night lights (#36)

5x13, the series finale i have heard nothing but good things about - I made it y’all! *wipes tear* this is a show i will definitely rewatch! It definitely feels like the kind of show that’s so layered that every time you go back you’ll pick up something new. I love shows like that.

i haven’t been on tumblr on my computer in a long time but im gonna go through and add “read more”s to all of these recaps!

(thanks to anyone who read these nonsense recaps! if you enjoyed these...in addition to my currently-on-hiatus riverdale podcast @bodysuitsforbughead, I have another teen drama-centered podcast in the works, follow @LeftyTeenDrama on Twitter and @leftistteendrama on Instagram to get updates when it launches! I’m taking a break on working on it till i move but it’s gonna be a big part of my 2021 projects. I’ve already recorded one episode with two of my favorite people in the world and it’s gonna be amazing. It will be about a variety of teen dramas, but FNL will definitely be included.)

and without further ado, my final FNL ramblings under the cut:

And we open with one last montage of shots around Dillon from a car, with a “Christmas in Texas” song playing. Amazing.

Oh wow, I love the “FIVE DAYS TILL THE CHAMPIONSHIP” vibe. The build-up is already here. A shot of Julie in the stands watching practice!

It’s super uncomfortable that people are talking to Vince about his “future teammates” on the Panthers before the post-season is even over. “I don’t really wanan talk about that. I want to talk about how the East Dillon Lions are gonna win State.” “Is that a promise?” These Texas sports journalists are WILD. this is a teenage boy whose school’s funding just got cut right before the biggest game of his life! Can we have some sympathy?!

“I hear they’re taking the cream of the crop for the Superteam so I’m gonna be honest with you, what are you gonna do?” EXCUSE ME SIR? I repeat, TEENAGE BOY. Tinker’s response of “you’re an asshole” and storming away was more than appropriate!!!

“No comment”ing his way out of there like a champ.

Ah, the age-old tradition of decorating a Christmas tree while arguing about a five-year football coach contract in Dillon or a dean of admissions job offer at a prestigious Philadelphia college. Julie’s just sitting there with Gracie like ooooh boy

“Here is where we put our tree, not Philadelphia! It’s a Texas tree.” OMG STOP IT. Lol Julie putting her hands over her ears.

YAY MATT SARACEN IS AT THE DOOOOORRRRR im so excited

Wow I did not expect this proposal to come that quickly into the episode! Like i knew it was coming in this episode but aw. They’re so soft! Just like, oh i’ve been thinking about you nonstop since our perfect Chicago tryst and oh look here’s grandma’s ring let me casually get down on one knee in the town where we fell in love. And after she was just talking about how much she misses Matt to Tyra the episode before? That “yes” she gave feels so certain because of it. Aw.

The grandma’s ring really fucks me up because you know how close Julie and Grandma Saracen have gotten over the years. My heart!

“Oh my God, your dad must’ve flipped.” “...What do you mean?” OH NO Eric Taylor is totally the type to care. “...When you asked him to marry me.” Oh I knew this proposal was too early in the episode, im dying!

“You need to go man to man.” Ugh Julie i liked Matt’s plan of just going and telling them much better. His look of fear when he repeats “man to man.” dead.

Wow no theme song??? That’s how you know it’s gonna be a long series finale!

Andddd here we are, a bickering Riggins “I may or may not be going to Alaska.” “Is it because you raw dogged Tyra last night?” i literally gasped.

LMAO Mindy trying to say Tim and Tyra are incest now that Mindy and Billy are married and then Tim and Billy immediately being like “nope, no blood lines, that’s not how incest works.” Someone should send that memo to all those anti bughead stans about bughead and falice

“What do you think about me taking Stevie for the day?” “I’m fine with that. There’s no going back, I’m going to get the bag.” LOL Mindy spoken like a true parent also YES to Tim and Stevie spending time together.

Poor Jess not realizing that asking Eric if she can follow him to the Panthers is a much bigger question than she thinks se’s asking.

AWW Tim and Stevie at Grandma Collette’s. How cute.

“Seven’s back in town?” “Yeah, he and Julie got engaged!”

Tim/Tyra and Matt/Julie double date?? Aw I love that Tyra knows that Matt and Julie got engaged. I really love Tyra and Julie’s friendship.

I’m laughing really hard at Matt’s speech to Eric trying to ask permission. This is so funny.

Eric’s like, “is this kid serious rn?”

Not to be that northern bitch but don’t kids get married at 18/19 all the fucking time in Texas?? I feel like it’s more common in even more rural parts of like...any state.

“The answer to your question is gonna be no today, it’s gonna be no tomorrow, and it’s gonna be no until the sun burns out.” LMAO wow i didn’t see this coming

“This was really just a courtesy, we were hoping for your blessing.” YES MATT.

OH BOY Eric did not just try to speak FOR his daughter, im not about it. “My daughter’s answer to you is ‘no.’” That’s some patriarchal shit right there.

“We’ll never know if we’re East Coast people if we don’t try it!” “We have a MUCH BIGGER problem.” Dude, it’s Matt Saracen, the softest boy who has loved your daughter for years, i actually think the fundamental decision of where you and Tami continue your future might be slightly more pressing.

“I don’t know why you’re yelling at me! I think we agree on this!” IM SCREAMINGGGG

Aw, Tami getting teary-eyed at Grandma Saracen’s ring. “It’s just, y’all are so young.” I know but this is a TV show universe so we let teen marriage slide for the right couples, ok.

Tami and Eric wanna take Matt and Julie to A CONVERSATION DINNER??? This is gonna be so funny.

Aw, Vince got his dad a ticket to state? “I want you to be there.” if this fucker doesn’t just come and shut his mouth

Oh wow Becky’s mom is finally coming back? And yay Becky’s finally over her Tim crush. “So friends?” “I say family.” AWWW MY HEART.

“You guys were our age when you got married.” ARE YOU SERIOUS? “It was a different time.” Y’all have no leg to stand on here.

“Marriage requires maturity.” Says the man who won’t let his wife take a huge job offer. What, who said that? (Okay the way Tami’s watching Eric give this speech about compromise, thinking she’s thinking the same thing.)

“You guys got married when you were my age, and how many times did you move? How many different things you’ve gone through and look how you’ve made it work. You guys are my inspiration.” AW. I wish my parents had a stable enough marriage to be able to say that LOL but nope.

OH NO poor Tami getting up from the table because she’s emotional! Because she’s clearly always thought of her marriage that way too but maybe not lately AH

Eric, babe, that’s your cue to follow.

Oh shit, Jess’s family is moving to Dallas? Well, damn.

Eric saw Vince not take a ticket for his dad and came to his watering hole to hand deliver it? “Young man gets a chance like that maybe once in a lifetime.” and mic drop, walk away.

Luke casuaklly meeting Becky’s mom for the first time while coming by to try to win Becky back. “I love you. I’m so sorry.” AWWW. growth!

YES cheers to Matt and Julie! “Here’s to Mr. and Mrs. Saracen.”

“Always thought you’d be the first person to say that.” AW

Yes halfway through college, go Tyra!

Awwww, Matt being like “let’s dance” and pulling Julie up. So cute. Yes, Tim asking Tyra to dance.

“I got plans.” “I don’t.” OMG is Tim saying he’ll just follow Tyra? Damn.

Why tf is Buddy calling Eric first thing in the morning to tell him about Buddy Jr.’s cast and “staying here el permanente” and GETTING HIM TO SIGN A CONTRACT BEFORE THE GAME? Y’all are shady as fuck!

I love that seeing the Braemore papers made him stop, tell Buddy off, and not make a decision in that moment. What’s gonna happen???

“I won’t be a part of your Superteam after all.” Hopefully Eric won’t be either! Aw Jess thanking him “for the greatest experience of his life.” “I think it’s been mine too.” AW.

Eric’s gonna give a coach in Dallas a good word for Jess? So beautiful. Yesss!

AW Julie and Matt decorating the Saracen Christmas tree, and Grandma trying to get Julie to wear her old wedding dress!

Emotional at this hug between Julie and Mrs. Saracen. “I love you.” “I love you too.”

Awww Vince finally being glad that Jess is part of the team...at the moment when it’s about to end.

Yess Tyra and Tim picnicking on the land?

And YES to Tyra going into politics, I could see it! “Along the lines of Mrs. T. Except bigger.” YES GURL.

“I’ve been in love with you since I was five years old.” AWWW that is so precious.

“I’m gonna build a house exactly where we’re sitting. I’m gonna get a job. And I’m never gonna do anything illegal for the rest of my life.” Oh, Tim. my heart!!!

“Maybe one day, our dreams can merge together.” THAT’S SO BEAUTIFUL. What more does one really want? Oh, these beautiful life-filled shots of them drinking beer on the land where Tim wants to build a house. Art!

Oh shit, Eric’s racing to get to Santa in time to be there with Tami and Gracie?! “You scared me half to death. What’s going on?”

“I turned the contract down. It’s your turn. I want to go to Philadelphia. Will you take me to Philadelphia with you, please?” YESSSSSSSSSSSSS what they deserve! What Tami deserves!!!! My heart!!!!

Ugh, the imagery as they get to State is amazing. The boys taking in the field, the players suited up praying and getting in the zone beforehand. The screaming in the stands waiting for them.

“You may never know how proud I am of you.” “You changed my life, coach.” AW.

Eric’s pre-game prayer overlaying the image of the Lions bursting out onto the field! Yes yes yes!

The way they slowed everything down with just music, and focused in on the faces of so many characters - Vince’s dad showing up, Eric and Tami saluting one another from stand to sideline, Becky cheering in the stands excitedly for Luke, Matt and Julie holding each other, Buddy on the sidelines screaming, Vince’s mom jumping up and down - just absolute perfection.

And we’re back in, with actual in-scene sound at 26-21 with 3 seconds left on the clock??? Jesus!

AH and every single character watching the football fly in the air, WOW the DRAMA.

Holy shit, they fast-forwarded to one of Eric’s players in Philly catching a football eight months later in Philly??? THIS SHOW IS SO GOOD. WOW.

Tami looks like such a badass strutting around campus!

YES Tinker is on the Panthers! Take that, bullying reporter!

Aw, the East Dillon Lions sign coming down. :( feels.

Nooo Luke don’t go to the military! Noooo I hate that. Poor Becky. They’re the exact type of couple who gets caught up in that really sad cycle - too poor to really have many other options, so the whole “free college when i get out!” thing starts to look really attractive. smh.

But i love how they used the championship ring he gave Becky as a way to signal that the East Dillon Lions did, indeed, win the state championship eight months earlier...and that Jess is wearing the ring on the sidelines of a new field where she’s working with the coaches! amazing!

Yay Matt and Julie live in Matt’s beautiful Chicago apartment? Perfection. They really look so good in that city together.

New beginnings in a new city together for both Tami and Eric AND Matt and Julie? I’m living! It’s what they deserve!

Tim and Billy building Tim’s house and drinking beers! “Texas forever.” “Texas forever.” MY HEART.

“Clear eyes, full hearts.” SILENCE. “Ah, we’ll deal with that later.” LOL

Yesss Tami coming out to meet Eric on the field!!!

“Ready to go home?” “Yeah, let’s go.”

And the lights go off on the field. End show. AMAZING. Truly, an epic series finale! An epic show! I will definitely rewatch and i am so glad i finally did! Thanks to anyone who gave a shit about my ramblings.

#maria watches friday night lights #friday night lights 5x13 #mine

7 notes · View notes

smallblueandloud · 4 years

Text

fsk emotions: the playlist

(i’d like to apologize in advance for how long this is going to get. UPDATE: yeah, this is around 4k, i am So Sorry.)

in case y’all weren’t aware, i have fitzskimmons emotions ALL THE TIME. my poor friends have to deal with me texting them at 11 pm like “i’m freaking out about fsk again” embarrassingly often. so, i figured i’d try to share some of those emotions with y’all, in the form of songs from my private fsk playlist on spotify.

that playlist is 63 songs long. hopefully i will not feel the need to talk about ALL 63, but i’m not going to make any promises. y’all know what i’m like about this. i’m planning on giving you a list of the songs for your listening pleasure, and then go into detail about the lines / vibes from each song that i think especially fit the ship. we shall see how this goes.

just a warning: my music taste is very all over the place. i associate the sound of 80s love songs with fsk, so there’s gonna be a few of those, but also some weird obscure indie songs and some pop and just... bear with me, okay? these songs are in no particular order, because i have no idea how to make a “”legit”” playlist or whatever the heck y’all are doing to make such good mixes. i’m just gonna stick a tracklist here and move on.

can’t fight this feeling // reo speedwagon

gravity // sara bareilles

new year’s day // taylor swift

don’t go breaking my heart // elton john & kiki dee

dancing in the dark // bruce springsteen

born to be yours // kygo & imagine dragons

i choose you // sara bareilles

ordinary people // john legend

carry on // fun.

blackbird // the beatles

thunder road // bruce springsteen

the long and winding road // the beatles

the archer // taylor swift

army of angels // the script

paper rings // taylor swift

lucky // jason mraz & colbie caillat

wonderwall // zella day

team // noah cyrus

i melt with you // modern english

cornelia street // taylor swift

coroner’s report // molly ofgeography

two // sleeping at last

fair // the amazing devil

arms unfolding // dodie

making love out of nothing at all // air supply

all the song explanations are under the cut, because this is going to get long. there’s also ten honorable mentions if you manage to make it to the end of this. let’s get started!

1. can’t fight this feeling // reo speedwagon

i felt legally required to put this one first because i literally named my magnum opus after it. i like this song a lot on its own, but it specifically reminds me of fsk because the idea of your partner(s) as the place you will always gravitate towards is peak fsk for me. also, these three are canonically each others’ reassurance and rock and i’m just... i love them a lot, okay? this song’s imagery and lyrics have come to be inextricably associated with fsk for me and i love it a lot.

important lyrics: “And even as I wander, I'm keeping you in sight You're a candle in the window on a cold, dark winter's night”

“And if I have to crawl upon the floor, come crashing through your door Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore“

2. gravity // sara bareilles

this one goes second because it’s probably my favorite song of all time. i play it on repeat whenever i’m feeling sad or anxious or pining or happy or just... anytime, lmao. but i also think it’s a very fsk song, and more specifically the fitzdaisy relationship! not only does it have more of that “gravitating towards each other” theme (more literally in this case), but the lyrics are also... very much fitzdaisy, i think, who are very much each others’ safe space and have been vulnerable with each other from the very beginning.

important lyrics: “ Oh, you loved me 'cause I'm fragile When I thought that I was strong But you touch me for a little while And all my fragile strength is gone”

(although really every single lyric fits really perfectly, so go and check out this song! it’s genuinely my favorite song ever and i think everyone would benefit from a listen or two)

3. new year’s day // taylor swift

the most underrated song from reputation, this song is probably the most INTENSELY fsk song i’ve ever heard. these three have grown up together, have changed together, have left their mark on each other in ways that can never be undone. the thing i’m most nervous for in the series finale is the show completely ignoring that impact (along with all three’s relationships with coulson and may especially!). no matter their romantic configuration, none of them would be the same if they hadn’t known the others. and new year’s day really articulates that, along with a really sweet feeling of trust and the image of them cleaning up together after a party - which makes perfect sense when you think about canon, and how they’d stick together even after leaving the life-changing experience of shield. even though there’s no more life-changing adventures, they’re still going to be together, and that means something. y’all, this song is really good and the best fsk song ever and you NEED to listen to it.

important lyrics: “Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you And I will hold on to you”

“Please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere”

4. don’t go breaking my heart // elton john & kiki dee

look, just let them be happy, okay? also, i really love the trust aspect of this song, which i associate intensely with the fsk relationship. after all of the betrayal and pain and suffering they’ve experienced, i really love thinking about how much all three must trust each other, even in canon. also i wrote a fic where all three danced to this song and now i won’t ever get that image out of my head.

important lyrics: “Don't go breaking my heart I couldn't if I tried Honey, if I get restless Baby, you're not that kind”

“And nobody told us 'Cause nobody showed us And now it's up to us, babe Whoa, I think we can make it“

5. dancing in the dark // bruce springsteen

okay, this song is a bit darker than the others but i am a secret lover of springsteen, shh. also the mood works VERY well for three agents of shield who haven’t gotten a break since they left college. i really like the idea of them making their own happiness in the middle of the darkness together, because that’s part of why i’m so emotional about them! they are each others’ safe space and protector!

important lyrics: “You can't start a fire Sitting 'round crying over a broken heart This gun's for hire Even if we’re just dancing in the dark”

6. born to be yours // kygo & imagine dragons

heck yeah, let’s talk about the fact that no one in the ot3 would be the same if they hadn’t met the others! not just that, but the fact that they support each other and are a big reason why each of them have made it through the pain of the series with, like, less trauma then they could’ve. fitz was there for daisy when she developed her powers and is the one who talked her into coming back in s4, daisy was there for jemma when she came back from maveth (and in the framework), and jemma and fitz have been supporting each other since they worked things out in s3. also, they know each other insanely well and i think this song does a great job of expressing that!

important lyrics: “I never knew anybody 'til I knew you I never knew anybody 'til I knew you And I know when it rains, oh, it pours And I know I was born to be yours”

7. i choose you // sara bareilles

they! change! together! thank you for coming to my ted talk! also, i’m just... very obsessed with the idea of them choosing to be together, choosing to try to work through their problems, even when there have been so many. i am also obsessed with the idea of them spending their lives together. leave me alone.

important lyrics: “We are not perfect we'll learn from our mistakes And as long as it takes I will prove my love to you I am not scared of the elements I am underprepared, But I am willing And even better I get to be the other half of you”

8. ordinary people // john legend

i really, really love this song, actually? i’m a big fan of a lot of his music lmao. but i like this song specifically because it’s about how complicated love can be sometimes, and i think fsk’s love gets really complicated sometimes! and like, despite it all, they love each other and they’re trying to work it out. but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s really hard sometimes! (shoutout to the fic i titled with a lyric from this song that exemplifies that exactly)

important lyrics: “I know I misbehaved and you made your mistakes And we both still got room left to grow And though love sometimes hurts I still put you first And we'll make this thing work but I think maybe we should take it slow”

9. carry on // fun.

first off, this song has INTENSE post-framework fitz vibes. this is very much how i headcanon his relationship with violence works after they escape from the framework and fuck canon. but also, just, the idea of them all healing together? the idea of them moving on together after shield? poetic cinema. chef’s kiss. they’ve all changed SO MUCH since the show started, and yeah, not all of that change is good! but at least they’re still together.

important lyrics: “You swore and said we are not We are not shining stars This I know I never said we are Though I've never been through hell like that I've closed enough windows to know you can never look back”

10. blackbird // the beatles

i don’t know what about this song reminds me of jemma but something in this song reminds me of jemma, and fitz and daisy helping her heal. regardless, i am So Into them helping each other heal! mostly because the way that the show refuses to give them a break is SO FRUSTRATING. (also it tends to involve them being soft with each other and i am Weak.)

important lyrics: “Blackbird singing in the dead of night Take these broken wings and learn to fly”

11. thunder road // bruce springsteen

this is probably my second favorite song of all time. i am Absolutely Unbiased For Sure. regardless, i adore the imagery of this song, the contrast between the poetic feeling of it and the down-to-earth lyrics. this song, to me, is about people coming back to each other at the end of a long long journey. being in love while tired and recovering from a long, painful, messy life. and that just fits them... so well.

important lyrics: “Well now I'm no hero That's understood All the redemption I can offer girl Is beneath this dirty hood”

“With a chance to make it good somehow Hey what else can we do now Except roll down the window And let the wind blow back your hair? Well the night's busting open These two lanes will take us anywhere“

(y’all do not understand how hard it was to not copy All The Lyrics. you really really have to listen to this song.)

12. the long and winding road // the beatles

EXACTLY THE SAME THING THAT I SAID FOR THE LAST SONG. god this song works so well for them. they are never going to be able to leave each other because they’re so interconnected and yeah, part of that is circumstance, but so MUCH of that is CHOICE. they CHOSE to spend time together, they CHOSE to spend time together, i’m getting emotional over here.

important lyrics: “The long and winding road That leads to your door Will never disappear I've seen that road before It always leads me here Lead me to you door”

13. the archer // taylor swift

this is THE definitive daisy pov song. try to tell me i’m wrong. you can’t. daisy showing vulnerability is a BIG DEAL because of how easily she deflects things! she shows vulnerability to people she loves, most notably mack, coulson, fitz, and jemma! it physically pains me to think about how much she trusts them, y’all. there’s also this sense of melancholy throughout the song, because she’s never going to be the person that she once was. I’m Upset, Y’all.

important lyrics: “Combat, I'm ready for combat I say I don't want that, but what if I do? 'Cause cruelty wins in the movies I've got a hundred thrown-out speeches I almost said to you Easy they come, easy they go I jump from the train, I ride off alone I never grew up, it's getting so old Help me hold onto you”

14. army of angels // the script

this song is courtesy of @theclaravoyant, who recommended this as THE fsk song, and i think she’s very right! they fight TOGETHER, y’all. i’m very emo about it. their love is TRANSCENDENT and helps them OVERCOME their obstacles and i’m Really Upset About It, okay?? this song especially sounds like jemma’s voice, but it works so well for any of them and i Love It.

important lyrics: “When they got me cornered Close to giving in Oh I feel you round me like a second skin”

15. paper rings // taylor swift

*sobbing* i just want them to be HAPPY. i think part of my feelings about this song stem from, like, how fsk manages to find love during really, really dark times? and manages to be in love with each OTHER during the events of the show, which are VERY DARK as i think we can agree. and yet they managed to get together! and they managed to stick together! and idk, y’all, i’m just so soft for permanent partnerships and people being Married(tm) and this song brings that in SPADES.

important lyrics: “Kiss me once 'cause I know you had a long night Kiss you twice 'cause it's gonna be alright Three times 'cause you waited your whole life”

“I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings Uh huh, that's right Darling, you're the one I want, and I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this“

16. lucky // jason mraz & colbie caillat

this song just SCREAMS domesticity to me and no it’s absolutely NOT because i used a lyric from this song to title my collection of domestic fsk ficlets, i have no idea where you would get such a ridiculous idea. they are all BEST FRIENDS okay and they’re in LOVE and they come HOME TO EACH OTHER at the end of the day. they genuinely like spending time together. god, this song is so cute, i love it so much.

important lyrics: “I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend Lucky to have been where I have been Lucky to be coming home again Lucky we're in love in every way Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed Lucky to be coming home someday”

17. wonderwall // zella day

before you tell me i’m being stupidly cliche, look at the artist. and then realize that the artist doesn’t make a different for how cliche i’m being. first off, this is such a wlw song (google that one car commercial if you don’t believe me) and skimmons is kind of. my peak wlw song. but also this song is so lovely because it’s about people persevering through challenges to be together, even their own feelings, and that’s VERY good and VERY fsk. i’m just very gay, alright? leave me alone.

important lyrics: “And all the roads we have to walk are winding And all the lights that lead us there are blinding There are many things that I would like to say to you But I don't know how Because maybe You're gonna be the one that saves me And after all You're my wonderwall”

18. team // noah cyrus

this song is from @bobbimorseisbisexual’s fsk playlist (thanks al i love you) and it’s VERY GOOD for this ship. god, i have so many emotions about them being on the same team (which is part of why it’s so FRUSTRATING when the show tries to split them up-). especially because trust is such a big aspect of their relationship? look, these are three people who have been betrayed a lot, even by each other. it’s so IMPORTANT that they trust each other to be on the same team!! (also this song is one of the only songs i’ve ever heard that’s apparently singing to both a man and a woman, and i’m gonna ignore the fact that it’s a duet. let me have my poly songs.)

important lyrics: “Whenever you're winning I'll give you strength, boy And I'll share your name, girl 'Cause I'll always be on your, I'll always be on your team Yeah, I'll always be on your team”

19. i melt with you // modern english

this song is sponsored by @florchis, who not only was the person that first told me about this song but also named her entire fsk collection after one of the lyrics. she has very good taste. first off i love how high-energy and happy this song is. declaring your love for someone is a VERY fun thing to do in the best of circumstances! and i just love the idea of them taking time for each other in the middle of all of their shield business. i love them so much, y’all.

important lyrics: “Moving forward using all my breath Making love to you was never second best I saw the world crashing all around your face (let me hear you) Never really knowing it was always mesh and lace (c'mon)”

“I'll stop the world and melt with you You've seen the difference And it's getting better all the time There's nothing you and I won't do”

20. cornelia street // taylor swift

YES, i know this is the FOURTH tswift song on this list. she’s really good at songwriting, okay? also... y’all.. the VULNERABILITY. the LONGING. the idea of having to deal with the very real fear of loss fits VERY well for a ship where everyone involved is in mortal danger three times a week. also, the idea of never being able to separate the memories of a place from the people? that’s peak fsk. i know i keep saying this but they’re all HUGELY INFLUENTIAL on each other and it’s a BIG DEAL!! they’re never going to get over this relationship, this love, and I’m Never Going To Get Over Them.

important lyrics: “And I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends I'd never walk Cornelia Street again That's the kind of heartbreak time could never mend I'd never walk Cornelia Street again”

21. coroner’s report // molly ofgeography (aka @ofgeography)

first off, everyone should listen to this ENTIRE ALBUM because it’s VERY GOOD. secondly, i know this song is really sad but imagine this as steeling yourself for the series finale. canonverse fsk hurts SO MUCH, y’all, and i love them so much. the metaphor in this song is *chef’s kiss* and the guilt of losing love is.... yeah. i’m sad. please be sad with me.

important lyrics: “How do you bury love, and what gets carved into the stone? If I had waited by the window would love be safe and back at home?”

“We held hands in the procession, black and veiled and strange You said, ‘love was good when love was here,’ it didn't ease the ache“

22. two // sleeping at last

okay i definitely think that part of this is me being an extreme 2 and therefore considering this song the Peak of Romance. which is probably a little unhealthy but leave me alone. i don’t know enough about enneagram types to diagnose any of the ot3, but definitely this song resembles all of them to some extent, especially daisy. (i am in pain.) this song, to me, feels like daisy pining for fs in canonverse. (i am in PAIN.) she would ABSOLUTELY give parts of herself up for them and count on the fact that they wouldn’t notice. god, this hurts so much. i love this song so much. if it helps, i think in a happier universe they all also sacrifice parts of themselves for the others? which hurts too but in a good way.

important lyrics: “Tell me, is something wrong? If something's wrong, you can count on me You know I'll take my heart clean apart if it helps yours beat”

“I just want to build you up, build you up 'Til you're good as new And maybe one day I will get around to fixing myself too“

23. fair // the amazing devil

this song is CRIMINALLY unknown. GO LISTEN TO IT RIGHT NOW AND THEN MEET ME BACK HERE. this song just screams fsk at me. the humor, the depths of love, the good-natured resentment, the depths of love... god. it’s so good. i definitely think the strength of their emotions for each other overwhelm them sometimes. i think they find comfort with each other, i think they tease each other, i think they’re disgustingly in love all the time. god.

important lyrics: “She promises to fight them all when it all becomes too much And he, he curses at the world for Leaving him behind and he's falling out of touch And she is stronger than he's ever been he knows And she brushes her hand through His hair, he's got so much fucking hair”

“And he holds her close just to keep the world at bay And when they're sure no-one can hear them She'll turn to him to say, she'll turn to him and say It's not fair, It's not fair how much I love you“

(yes i DID copy more than i’ve been copying for the rest, because the songwriting in this song and album are PHENOMENAL and YES i will harass y’all until you listen to it because LOOK AT HOW GOOD IT IS.)

24. arms unfolding // dodie

i know, i know, this is a really short song. but it’s really pretty and i think it fits daisy, like, extremely well. think about daisy during early s4, specifically. she loves them enough to break down her walls. that’s what this song is about. and that’s what i’m gonna go cry over now. god this post is so long what the heck.

important lyrics: “Hope I'm not tired of rebuilding 'Cause this might take a little more I think I'd like to try Look at you And feel the way I did before”

“You know I could live without or with you But I might like having you about“

25. making love out of nothing at all // air supply

okay, so i admit it, i’m actually a HUGE fan of really cheesy 80s music. but i really love this song for them? especially jemma. i think it fits jemma really well. first off, it’s that good old vulnerability with admitting that she doesn’t know everything! and it’s admitting that she specifically doesn’t know what she’s doing with this relationship! and admitting how much she loves both of them even though she might not have wanted to! and i think she’s just... so amazed, so so amazed at the way that fitz and daisy are able to forgive and be loving even when they’re in the worst situations? which is definitely a big message of this song. (oh jemma, i love you and your violent tenancies. i see al’s valid criticisms and i am Loving You Anyway.)

important lyrics: “I know all the rules and then I know how to break 'em And I always know the name of the game But I don't know how to leave you And I'll never let you fall”

“And I don't know how you do it Making love out of nothing at all”

jesus CHRIST this got long. i actually also had a bunch more songs that i didn’t have a LOT to say about but i thought they fit anyways, so uh, honorable mentions:

can’t help falling in love // elvis presley (”wise men say only fools rush in / but i can’t help falling in love with you”)

the longest time // billy joel (they’ve influenced each other)

after all // peter cetera & cher (they’re never going to be able to forget the influence they have on each other)

leave a tender moment alone // billy joel (daisy pov for skimmons. that is all)

she // dodie (i am Soft and Gay and skimmons is also Soft and Gay)

bremen // pigpen theatre co. (honestly idk what to say here, it’s just The Vibe)

say something // a great big world (similar vibe to ordinary people)

saturn // sleeping at last (Science and also Influence On Each Other)

celeste // ezra vine (thanks to al for this one too, i REALLY want to write a fic about them and this song at some point)

you’re the inspiration // chicago (i just love the sound of this song. also i think all of them - but jemma especially - are inspired by the others to be better)

#agents of shield #fitzskimmons #meta #fandom song rec #ot3: you can't imagine your life without them #sb and l rambles #sb and l watches aos #music #jesus CHRIST this is so LONG i'm so SORRY #on the other hand i am NOT because this is a VERY GOOD ESSAY ABOUT FSK IN MY HUMBLE OPINION #i hope y'all enjoyed it!! thanks for making it to the end if you managed to!

29 notes · View notes

rateelism · 3 years

Text

JuTsuzuBan Historical-ish + Arranged Marriage AU

literally don’t open the cut unless you’re ready for an avalanche lmao. It’s just a lot of hot garbage word-vomit (this is so dramatic, it’s like a soap opera lmao)

this is sincerely very long. you’ve been warned

The arranged marriage aspect is between Tsuzuru and Banri, sons of the aristocratic Minagi and Settsu families, respectively. Since they're close in age and both from well off families, it's only natural for them to join houses, right? The Minagis don't have a connection with the very affluent Settsus, and the Settsus would like to tap into the Minagis' very versatile connections. Tsuzuru is quite devastated about the arranged marriage, because as a boy who loves to read and has read many a romance book, he's been looking forward to like. building up his own relationship with someone. He thought he wouldn't have to get into an arranged marriage since he has so many brothers, he could've been overlooked, but alas. Banri on the other hand is quite alright with the arrangement. His family expects him to get along well with a Minagi son so they can marry? Sure, whatever, he'll do it.

Anyway long story short from ages 8/7 to 17/16, Tsuzuru and Banri grow up together and around each other. Tsuzuru's longing for a quiet connection outside the rowdy household he's in, and Banri's not-so-subtly trying to woo Tsuzuru into at least giving him a smile every day. Smiles mean people like you, right? Getting along like the adults have asked you to?

(Banri kinda does like Tsuzuru atm, but at this stage they're both acting out of obligation) Just a week before his 18th birthday, Tsuzuru decides to run away to the countryside. Packs some bags, writes some farewell letters to his family, and disappears with the help of two stable boys, one who couldn't care less about one of his masters and another who wishes him well (you can probably guess who these are lmao). This is where Juza comes in! Tsuzuru settles into a small town many miles south of the capital where he used to live, and here he starts his dreamed life of just. being one with the people. Since the best stories come from those of real life.

He takes up some odd jobs here and there for money, but mostly stays to himself writing and/or reading. One day he's helping the postman deliver letters and runs into Juza! Someone near Tsuzuru's age.

They start to talk to each other and generally become aware of the other’s presence at all times. It soon spirals into something that’s not quite a friendship, but not quite a romance, either. It’s an odd relationship but one not unwelcome.

At this point it's been more than a year since Tsuzuru's been missing, and Banri's been all "what the fuck happened to my fiancé?" So obviously after a whole year of waiting he sets off to find Tsuzuru.

...And he does. Smiling and laughing with another man. At this stage, Banri still doesn’t know he loves Tsuzuru, but he does know that seeing his fiancé being happy with someone else doesn’t make him happy.

JuBan rivalry!!!

Banri tips his chin to -- futilely -- stare down the other man. “Mr. Hyodo, was it? I’m Banri Settsu, a long-time...friend of Tsuzuru.”

“Mr. Settsu,” Juza grunts. He turns to Tsuzuru, and his lips curve into a small smile. “I gotta go now, but I’ll be back later.” Tsuzuru raises a hand to wave him off, but Juza merely catches it and kisses the back of it before leaving. He doesn’t look back at Banri, who glowers at him with a sour expression.

Tsuzuru begs Banri to not reveal his location to their families because he still has so many things he wants to do in the country. Banri reluctantly agrees under the condition he can stay with Tsuzuru, to which the latter agrees to.

Kumon is Juza’s sickly younger brother and has to be taken care of constantly. At one point -- fed up with Juza and his constant presence, Banri threatens to bring harm to Kumon. This leads to Juza stop coming to Tsuzuru’s place and avoiding him in town. This of course hurts Tsuzuru and Banri is more than happy to console him, even if it’s a little harsh.

Of course Tsuzuru ends up finding out that Banri was the one to drive Juza away, leading to an argument. Tsuzuru locks himself away into his room, leaving Banri to plead and try to defend himself outside the door but it doesn’t work.

Later that night, after Banri tires himself out from all the yelling and talking and goes to bed, Tsuzuru sneaks out to go over to Juza’s place, where they reunite.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you. I didn’t want to risk hurting Kumon.”

“It’s okay, I understand. I know how it is to hide things. You just wanted to protect something you love.”

After lots of talking, I reckon here’s the place where JuTsuzu shares their first kiss together. Tsuzuru stays the night, much to the surprise of both Kumon and Banri -- for different reasons -- when they find out the next morning.

[Kumon voice] Are you and Brother dating? >> embarrassment ensues

Anyway they *do* start a relationship, much to Banri’s anger.

“Why are you starting a relationship with that country scum!? You’re engaged to me, remember!?”

“Listen, I-- Can’t we just marry without getting into a relationship? We can do that, right?”

“You’re not even going to consider *my* feelings!?”

Which. That presents a whole new set of problems. Tsuzuru didn’t expect Banri to actually harbor feelings for him, much less Banri himself. Banri excuses himself and leaves the next morning without a word.

This leaves Tsuzuru distraught. He hasn’t considered his own thoughts about Banri at all till this point. The only reason he tolerated Banri barging into his new life in the country was...was why? A fondness? A fondness similar to that he holds for his brothers? No, it doesn’t feel right. Tsuzuru hasn’t seen Banri in a year and suddenly he saw him every day for a couple months. Sure, they weren’t close to each other or anything, even though they were around each other a lot of the time when they were younger, but still. They didn’t know anything beyond the surface of each other until these past couple months, where Tsuzuru learnt Banri’s preference for bitter coffee and Banri learning that Tsuzuru was not an early riser if he didn’t have anything to do that morning.

Being with Juza helps him, as their relationship gives Tsuzuru something to focus on, having to navigate how a couple is supposed to work.

One day, a week or so after Banri’s departure, Juza asks where the other man left to, and absentmindedly does Tsuzuru “the capitol.” This leads to Tsuzuru confessing he’s a noble/aristocrat. Juza is obviously quite taken aback and asks if Tsuzuru is hiding anything else. This question, of course, makes Tsuzuru’s skin turn cold and his hands clammy.

“Banri...He’s...He’s my fiancé.”

“I see.”

This doesn’t quite lead into an *argument* per say, but Juza does excuse himself to go home and take care of Kumon. Tsuzuru is left feeling very alone for the first time in his life, and his books provide no solace.

SHOULD MENTION KUMON DOES *NOT* GET HURT/USED AS A PLOT DEVICE...maybe. as of now though? no. he’s baby and will be protected

• ✎ • • • • • • ✎ • • • • • • ✎ • • • • • • ✎ • • • • • • ✎ • • • • • • ✎ •

I don’t know where to go with this lmao maybe I’ll update this post in an rb BUT they do eventually all get together AND the arranged marriage goes thru as planned...I will now sit on this au for the foreseeable future, have a good day :]

#a3!#a3! act! addict! actors!#jutsuzuban #tsuzuru minagi #banri settsu #juza hyodo #kumon hyodo #long post #in case the cut doesn't work :[#anyway please enjoy my INSANE rambling #i love them with all my heart #stan jutsuzuban

8 notes · View notes

arrow-guy · 4 years

Text

Struck By Night (5/??)

Summary: Fate has a funny way of pulling people together. Whether or not that’s a good thing, only time will tell.

A/N: Hi, it’s been over a year since this fic was last updated, but we’re bringing this bitch back because I still love vampires and Tony Stark. Hope you guys have fun with the Drama lmao

Pairing: AvengersxReader

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings:

Part 4

I sit on the couch in the common area, a mug of scalding hot tea clutched in my hands. I stare into the fire blazing in the hearth and sink into the cushions as best I can.

“I thought you didn't like human food.”

Startled, my body jerks when I tear my eyes away from the fire and tea sloshes over the side of the mug, onto my bare hands. I hiss in pain and jump up from the couch, shaking the tea from my hands. Tony stands behind the couch, his eyes wide.

“I don't usually. Tea helps me warm up, though. Especially in the middle of winter.” Tony reaches out for the mug and I hand it to him. “Tea isn't much of a food though is it?”

He sets the mug on the counter and grabs a dishtowel from the fridge handle. “I guess not,” he says. “Sorry I snuck up. Didn't mean to startle you.”

I take the towel from him and wipe my hands off before moving on to dab at the spots on my pant leg.

“It's fine, I should have been paying better attention.” I dab at the wet spot on my knee a little before giving up. “What’s up?”

“Bruce told me about your idea to create a blood substitute that would be viable both for human use and a food source for you.” Tony shakes his head. “You think we could do it?”

I shrug and plop down on the couch again. “Do you? Because Dr. Banner seems interested in at least trying.”

Tony takes a seat at the opposite end and folds one leg under himself so that he can face me.

“It's not that I don't think it can be done, we're literal geniuses. The time in which we have to do so is what worries me. You only have so much Hydra blood. It won't last forever. What are your options when it runs out if we don't finish in time?”

“I'm no stranger to rationing food, Tony. I've already started planning out meals so that there won't be any hunger issues along the way. If I get a little light-headed I'll stay in my room.” I scratch my cheek. “Even if it doesn't work for me, as long as it's a viable option for humans, it has to be worth it, right?”

He nods slowly. “You are so much different than I thought you’d be.”

My lips quirk up into a smile. “So you’ve said.”

“I’m serious. I can’t seem to figure you out. Just as soon as I think I’ve got all the information, Barnes or Rogers throw out some new shit or you come out of left field with something like sucking dick to stay fed.”

I burst out laughing. “I never said that I actually did that, just that it happened. But, I aim to surprise, Tony. And if I can surprise you, maybe my work here is done.”

“Oh, don’t go! We’re just getting to know each other.”

“Mmm, there’s nowhere else in the world I’d rather be.” I shiver and wrap my arms around myself.

“What’s wrong?”

I shake my head. “I’m just cold, is all. It happens.”

“Is there anything I can do?”

“Unless you want to cuddle, probably not.” I sigh and push myself up from the couch. “It may be best for me to just go curl up in bed.”

“Alright.” His eyes follow me as I pour my tea down the drain and head for the hallway. “Tell F.R.I.D.A.Y. to turn up the thermostat when you get there.”

I shoot him a smile and pull my hoodie tighter around me. “Thanks, Tony. Really. For everything.”

He smiles but waves me off. “Nothing to thank me for, (Y/N), I just want you to be comfortable.”

I shake my head and turn down the hallway with a smile playing at my lips. For as much as Tony has done for his team, and even for me, he doesn’t quite seem to know when or how to give himself credit.

I shuffle into the lab around 2 pm and find Bruce and Tony hunched over a single tablet. I plop down onto a stool across from them. Neither look up.

“Morning,” Tony greets.

“It’s not morning,” I mumble. I lean on the table with my chin in my hand.

“Did you ever get warmed up last night?”

I nod. “I did, thanks. The vent is right over my bed. It was really nice.”

“I’m glad.”

“Mmm,” I hum. “What have you two been up to today?”

“We’ve been looking into your blood substitute,” Bruce answers.

“Oh?”

“We know that no one has been able to successfully do anything like this, so if it works, it could completely change the world.”

“But?”

“But there’s no way to know whether or not it would be a viable source of food for you.”

I shake my head. “Fine. If you can figure out a way to make something that can help other people, you should do that. You could change the lives of people with chronic anemia, sickle cell, dialysis patients, and millions of others. It’s worth it just for that.”

“I almost forgot you were a nurse for a moment,” Tony says.

“I’d thank you to remember that I’m more than just a vampire, Mr. Stark,” I say. I smirk when his eyes widen. "Anyway, where were you thinking of starting? I'm assuming that you're looking at artificial hemoglobin, at the very least."

Tony laughs. "Yes, actually. That's exactly what we were thinking."

"Perfect. I haven't been able to run tests myself, so I can only guess, but I believe that that is the one thing that my body metabolizes when I take in blood. On a base level, it holds the most nutritional value."

"It's a protein, so that would make sense," Bruce says. "Outside of baseline volume replacement, it's the one thing that's been hardest to reproduce for any kind of artificial blood supplement.”

I nod. “That would make sense.”

“I think we need to have a backup plan,” Tony says. “Just in case this doesn’t work out, where will you be getting blood?”

“I don’t know. Somehow I doubt it’d be as easy as crashing a bunch of Hydra parties and draining them for fun afterward.” I run my fingers over my lips as I think. “I guess I’d have to go out into the city and see if I can pull anything.”

Tony pulls a face. “If you have to.”

“Well it’s not like you guys want to be my blood bags, now do you? Mass anemia isn’t exactly ideal, especially in a team of Superheroes.” I bite my thumbnail, brows pulling together. “I’m not sure how enhanced blood would even affect me. I’m not sure it’s really something I want to experiment with.”

“Sounds like college,” Tony says.

“I know you’re trying to make a joke,” I say. “But do you have any idea what happens when you mix something like me with the biological material of someone like Doctor Banner? Hell, even Steve could be a risk.”

“She’s right, Tony,” Bruce admits. “You remember my cousin Jennifer?”

“Yeah, health problems a while back, right?”

“Yeah. I was the only one who could give her blood. Now she’s the greenest lawyer in all of New York.”

“Shit.”

“Now do you understand?” I ask. “There are too many variables, and I’m already enough of a danger as is.”

“I think you’re putting a little too much pressure on yourself there, (Y/N),” Tony says. “If you were a danger to us, you would’ve bit one of us already. Your self-control, from what I’m guessing, is off the charts. When you start sneaking around and nibbling on our necks, then I’ll consider you a danger.”

“I think you’re letting inexperience cloud your judgment.”

Tony stares at me. “What’s your hangup with this?”

“What I am, at the core, is dangerous. If there’s one misstep, I could seriously hurt someone, potentially myself if it comes down to isolation.” I shake my head. “It’s not a hangup, Tony. It’s being self-aware. I’ve seen too many good people hurt when they trust a monster.”

“You’re not a monster.”

“Hah! Cute. That’s really cute. But I’m not going to debate the definition with you, because I suspect we have very different experiences with it.”

“(Y/N),” Bruce says. “I’m sure he didn’t mean-”

“Bruce, don’t. Please. Just don’t.” I look between the two of them. “Look, if it doesn’t work for me, keep going with the project. It’ll help a lot of people.”

Bruce nods and I give a tight-lipped smile before excusing myself from the lab.

I run into Steve on the way down the hall and I just barely manage to sidestep him before crashing into him.

“What’s the rush, (Y/N)?” he asks.

“Sorry,” I shake my head. “I need to go back to my room. Clear my head.”

He follows after me and places his hand on my shoulder. I turn to face him and he stoops to look me in the eye. “You okay?”

I sigh. “I’ll be very honest, Steve, I’m tired.”

He nods and wraps his arm around my shoulders. “I’ll walk you back.”

I roll my eyes. “You don’t have to do that.”

“I don’t, but I’m gonna because I want to.”

“You gonna tell me why you were in such a hurry to get away from the lab?”

I crawl onto the bed and sit with my back against the wall. “It’s overwhelming.”

“The lab?” Steve sits in the reading chair in the corner. “It can be. I figured you’d be used to that kind of stuff, though.”

I shake my head. “Not the lab. Working with Tony.”

“Ah.”

“He’s just… a lot, y’know? And we butt heads like you wouldn’t believe. Sometimes it feels like we were made to contradict each other.”

“And other times?”

“Other times it’s like someone else takes over and it’s so easy to talk to him. Like there’s something there.” I wring my hands. “Scares the shit out of me.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m practically immortal. I’m not… I don’t like attachments.”

“You’re attached to Buck ‘n’ I.”

“Neither of you have aged in the past eighty years. I’ve got more in common with you two than I do him.”

Steve shrugs. “Nothing’s happened yet.”

“Very true.” I frown. “Do I even want something to happen? And there’s no saying that he feels the same connection.”

“That’s right.”

“Who’s to say he’d want it anyway?” I laugh. “There I go, worrying about things that haven’t even happened yet. Not to mention things that would probably never happen to begin with.”

“It sounds like you’re talking yourself into and out of something,” Steve says.

“Better to do it now than later, right?” I let my head fall back against the wall and laugh. “Oh man, I’m fucked.”

Steve laughs. “In all the years I’ve known you, you’ve never talked like this.”

“What, the cursing?”

“No, like you have a crush on someone.”

“Well, Steven, when we were last around each other we were also around a bunch of grimy, rank, disgusting soldiers and SSR officers who were either skirt chasers, or women who weren’t exactly my type. Not to mention we were in the middle of a literal war. There wasn’t time for this… this-” I gesture wildly. “Mess.”

“Not even after the war?”

“No, I was pretty focussed on staying alive and off the government's radar, not to even mention S.H.I.E.L.D.’s. It was hard enough getting away from the SSR after the war, after Peggy took over, it got harder.”

“So you’ve been on the run for the better part of seventy years.”

“Pretty much, yeah.” I sigh. “Pretty sure this is the most time I’ve had to relax since you went into the ice, and I’m certain that should be a joke because being here is anything but relaxing.”

Steve snorts. “All things considered, it’s been relatively quiet since we dragged you in.”

“I’ve noticed.” A knock sounds at the door and I sit forward to see who’s there. “Yeah?”

The door opens and Tony appears in the entryway.

“Hey,” he says.

“What’s up?” I ask.

Tony glances at Steve. “Could I talk to you alone?”

“Oh, uh, sure.” Steve grins at me and I flip him off.

Steve laughs. “I’ll be going.”

Tony watches him go and turns back to me. “What was that about?”

“We were just talking.” I lean forward and pat the bed. “Have a seat, Stark.”

He plops down on the bed and braces himself with one arm. “So.”

“So…” I fold my arms. “You wanted to talk?”

“Right.” He sighs. “I want to apologize for what I said in the lab. It was insensitive and I wasn’t thinking.”

I blink slowly, surprised. “What?”

“I’m apologizing.”

I wave off his apology. “No, I heard that part, I just don’t get why. I was abrupt and ran away. If anything, I should be the one apologizing.”

“I brushed off your concern, (Y/N). And they were valid concerns.” He pauses for a moment. “I want to know more about what you are. I want to understand how we can help you, even if this little project doesn’t work out.”

“I… really?”

“What, you think I can’t recognize when I need to step back and learn something?”

“N-no, it’s just a lot of shocking content for one day is all. It’s a lot to process.”

“I get it,” he says. “If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine. We can sort something out.”

“No, it’s fine.” I bite my thumbnail before looking Tony in the eye. “Where do you want to start?”

Thank you guys so much for reading! If you liked this installment, please leave a response or shoot me an ask! Feedback would be greatly appreciated!

Tag List:

@ghostlyhamlet, @baguettegirl, @claws-of-vibranium, @creaturefeatures101, @buckysendoftheline, @imagine-assembling-the-avengersm, @ptprocrastination, @1950schick, @amayasymone23, @liladeldiamandis, @arfrona-and-marvel, @ek823, @fanaticfangirl001, @ilovebeingjoyful, @furrywerewolfcollector, @kissofvenom922, @not-that-type-of-person, @dawn-phantomhive, @fangirlwithasweettooth, @silas-aeiou, @thedoctorlivesthroughbooks, @mairhof1, @starryeyesbadguys, @leahhavoc, @future-ll-evans, @howdoesoneadult, @pcdmesamidala, @thefandomplace, @sian22redux, @skeletoresinthebasement, @lady-thor-foster, @jazzcutie, @gaytonystark, @geeksareunique, @buckybcrnes, @nyxveracity, @idalinette, @tomorraw, @breezy1415, @feelmyroarrrr, @darling-loki, @lemonadeorange73, @thisismysecrethappyplace, @princess-unicorn124, @hermionie-is-my-queen, @tofeartheunknown, @queenoftheunderdark

This fic:

@ayatimascd, @sonoflac, @tomhardy41, @hawkxyes, @purplekitten30, @unknownuserhasjoined

#tony starxreader #readerxtony stark #tony stark x reader #reader x tony stark #tony stark #iron man #the sad boi #reader insert marvel fic

38 notes · View notes