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tarjapearce · 5 months

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Chapter 4: But It's Cries Were Unheard

WARNING: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. Depictions of toxic relationships (I do not condone nor encourage them), verbal abuse, mentions of mental disorders, character background, character study, mentions of abortion, comfort towards the end.

Summary: Honest talks either make it or break it.

A/N: A little nervous for this chapter jsksj. Hope you enjoy ❤️. Comments and reblogs are highly appreciated ✨

Chapter Song:

Running away wasn't something you did, it wasn't in you to suddenly turn into the direction you had come and run away leaving an unforgiving mayhem behind you, yet something in your body told that if you remained in the same space as them, something terrible and ominous would happen.

The first warning was your body, forcing you to fold over and empty your stomach in the nearest trash bin you could find, the slap your cheek received was the final hue-and-cry. You didn't look back, Dana's cries and angry words were too much to digest.

You really wanted to believe at least something good had happened from all this piping hot mess. You refused to believe that she would take him back, that she was a masochist, and although as excruciatingly painful it all surely was for her, you had freed her from someone that didn't deserve her. You had set her free from Miguel.

Someone that underservingly just like you, were dragged to this messed up triangle that spun so hard, it had turned into a tornado of lies and half truths.

Get rid of it

How could he?

His words had brought to light so many memories you had tried so so hard to bury, only for them to crawl back to the surface, as heartrending as ever in your mind and your beating organ that threatened to stop at any second if you didn't get the keys to unlock your car and leave.

An imaginary monster breathed in your neck, salivating at the anxiousness brewing within yourself, ready to pounce on you with full force in the shape of a panic attack, despite your car being away from the war zone. Your little heaven, where you had still control pulled you out, injured, maybe crippled from the shards of the hearts broken and left forsaken by a man that did nothing but burn everything in his wake.

Your was pulled out, smashed against the floor, stomped on and then doused in gasoline while all you could do was seeing his beloved fiancé, have her own receiving the same treatment.

You left. It was clear that none of them wanted you around. None of them could stand the sight of you. Dana specially. unknowingly, you had dragged her into the light, yanking away the blindfold Miguel had masterfully crafted over the years. Needless to say he wasn't appreciating that little stunt from you.

And he definitely wasn't enjoying one bit having all his lies finally exposed to the four winds. If you could go back to that night, knowing what you knew now, you wouldn't have even assisted to begin with, but that meant another woman would've been left at his mercy.

Apparently life had chosen you as the sacrificial lamb, and with a creature growing in your guts, you had accepted the role, unwillingly bestowed upon you.

Your fingers had dialed the only number you kept in your emergency list. MJ while in traffic. It wasn't a nice nor understandable talk since you were all over the place, hyperventilating and weeping in your little car despite the lights turning bright green some seconds ago, provoking the cars tailing at you to honk angrily, as if their noise would make it away.

Would make it all go away, but in opposite, it just gave you a major headache, rising your nauseas again.

"Dana, mi amor-"

"Mi amor?!" Her angry yelling enervated Miguel's docile demeanor, "Don't you dare to call me that."

"We can work this out, just listen-"

"No, Miguel. I won't listen, I won't and I don't want to!"

"Can you stop behaving-"

"Like a what?! A crazy bitch?, say it!"

A little twitch in Miguel's eyes was the only response Dana got in return. In other times, that was the signal for them to just remove their clothes and raw eachother silly until one of them were either spent, which was usually her, after two rounds.

Miguel's hand tried to reach for Dana's arm but she quickly recoiled, as if he had burned her skin with a bright lit coal. Now, she wanted everything but to be touched by him, or even talked to. Nothing believable came out the pretty lips she once used to bite and kiss at her whims. But there was nothing but disgust blossoming in the more she stared at them.

His crooked teeth contained after the meaty pair of muscles that covered them, they moved but Dana paid no attention.

"Dana! Puta madre, Escúchame!" (Listen to me!)

"No! You listen to me, you... pathetic excuse of a man."

A little growl rumbled on his chest, but his now ex fiancé didn't budge.

"Careful with your words"

"Or what? What were you thinking?!"

"I wasn't! Ok? I wasn't fucking thinking-"

"Of course you weren't. Your dick was thinking for you"

"It was a-"

"I swear If you say that it was an accident-"

"It wasn't. I was angry at you."

"And just cause you were angry you had to go and fuck someone else?! Even worse get her pregnant?! Are you stupid?"

"Clearly you're not-"

"Understanding? Oh poor Miguel got so angry that he fucked someone else. What did you expect to get?! A million dollars to grow inside?! Man the fuck up!"

Miguel rubbed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose a bit too hard, but the pain grounded him. Anchored him to his rational line of thinking.

"You got someone else pregnant, Miguel."

"She'll get rid of it, I know-"

Dana had to take some steps back. Not only what he just said made her queasy and uneasy, no, it wasn't the words alone, it was the mood and tinge he used to pronounce them.

"How... how can you call your child an it? It's a baby! Not something you can get rid of!"

"I don't wanna be a father, she doesn't wants it either. What is the most logical thing to do?"

"Manning up and take responsibility for your actions."

"Oh, qué la chingada... No, Dana. Why would make the... baby or whatever to suffer unnecessarily?"

"Suffer from what? For having a terrible father?"

"You know why."

"You're so so phony. Oh my goodness, and to think I was going to marry you."

"No, no no. Dana, hermosa. Look, we can still get-"

Another slap.

"Listen to yourself, not only you want your baby's mother to abort it, you were... you were about to pay her..."

Her voice broke, and Miguel gulped. The both pushed and pulled, but Dana was the strong one in this occasion. He was losing the tug of war game, big time.

"You cheated on me cause I wasn't... I couldn't give you a child, didn't you? Is that it?!"

"No... I was stupid."

"Pretty fucking stupid. Give me the apartment keys."

"Don't be ridiculous. That's my apartment too."

"Oh, no. Not anymore. Remember the pre-nup?"

Fuck...

His shoulders once more rose. Tension taking a hold of his barely noticeable shaky body.

"Remember when you said you'd never cheat and even dare me to add that? Well, thanks for the idea, Miguel."

His nose flared angrily, the first columns that supported him crumbled. But no matter, he had his own and it was better and more roomy than the current one he shared with her.

He tossed the keys in her hands

" You know... what actually hurts the most about it besides knowing you cheated?"

Dana hiccuped and wiped her eyes. Her hair bobbed softly as she wiped her eyes.

"That... You were about to pay her to get rid of your child. When... I had been trying so hard to give you one. Someone else is making you a father. And... its not me, Miguel."

Another wave of fresh tears rolled down her flushed in anger cheeks. In another time, she'd melt into his touch, bask in the warmth and comfort he, in his own way provided. But now, she didn't want him. Repulse bloomed in every pore of her being whenever he insisted on touching her.

"We can fix this, I know. Give her some time to think about it-"

"Think about what, Miguel? She's obviously scared! I'd...I'd give anything to be her right now."

Miguel grunted, derision as expected and slicked his hair back.

"What? An underpaid receptionist?"

"No, you... heartless dick! A mother to be! And probably a single mother now..."

Silence made it's way towards both, permeating the ambience, but Dana broke it with a deep and blasé sigh.

"You have one week to get your stuff out."

"That's not enough time-"

"Funny for you to still think I care. You better start tonight then."

"Aren't you forgetting something?"

Dana pulled the ring out and tossed it at his face. The metal band bounced on his chest to then fall to the ground. Miguel kneeled to pick it up and rub off the dirt on it.

"If you don't tell Gabriel about it, I will."

"I don't need supervision."

"Are you sure about that?"

Miguel's eyes turned icy towards her, but he turned around with a huff to finally toss everything inside his car.

"You better take responsibility for that child."

Dana chided, angry and hurt as she was, she also tried to appeal to the human and logical side of him.

"Or what?, You're telling my mother?"

"You're so full of shit, man the fuck up for once and own your mistakes."

"For all I know that thing wouldn't be mine. She could be lying!"

He was now the junkie hooked on denial, but another slap didn't shake him, just made him angrier.

"Yet you were willing to pay a stranger to get an abortion. I heard enough to know it's your mess. It's not a thing, it's a child!."

"Are you done?"

"Act all though shit if you want, but you know I am right. And I know how much you hate when I'm right. Tell me something."

Her eyes met his, and a chill ran down her spine upon finding nothing but coldness in them.

"Was it worth it? Cheating on me and keeping me in the shadows for almost three months?"

"No. It wasn't."

"Then why? Why you did it?"

He'd be a bigger liar if he came up with an honest answer, cause in truth he didn't know. He gave into his intrusive thoughts, simple as that. Yet, oh such a mess was born from it.

"I... I always knew that sooner or later you'd cheat on me. I'm not perfect by any means, but... you... Not wanting to do anything with your own child? That's..."

"Enough. Move it. I gotta go."

"As ironic as things are? Mark my words when I tell you, you'll beg to have a spot in that child's life."

"Dana, move."

"And when you do? All you'll get in return is the same treatment. And God, I hope you do."

"Muévete de una pinche vez!" (Move the fuck away)

She didn't trembled nor waned her bravado because of him yelling. She was used to his outbursts.

"One week."

"Fucking heard you already."

His car's door was slammed, Dana had to step back, to watch him drive away. The new reality he left her drowning in was crushing her, yet she knew that one way or another life had given her the answer to the question that often assaulted her mind in those little moments of self introspection she had after a long day.

Is Miguel the one for me?

No. Not anymore. She wasn't even sure before the elephant had popped in the room, yet, she had clung onto him so hard that letting go was still one the most difficult things she had ever done. The usual part of her had the urge to call him, and talk things through, like they always did. But this time was different.

Damned her if she called him back. She wouldn't endanger the little dignity that remained in her. Besides, her own problems were just delivered. She now had to explain her family why she was single again, she'd spare him the gruesome details, a last proof of her undeserving love for him.

How could he had been so stupid? He knew he had to change the condom, he knew he had to stop for a minute and pull a new one. Seconds he had decided to ignore were now knocking on his door, in the shape of something so horrific that reminded him of his past, his roots and everything that he rendered to his family.

But his own saying had no room when Dana had laid his cards pretty much clearly before him, and so had you. Had you taken the check?

Of course you did, if you wouldn't need it, the paper piece would've be on the floor. Hopefully you'll use it to wipe that little mistake away. He refused to perpetuate his story. He wanted a child. Of course he did. But not like this. Not in the same fucked up way he was conceived.

He had vaguely explained Dana his past, but omitted that crucial part he was sure would have served as an empathy source in her reasoning for this situation.

He didn't want to admit that her curse had unnerved him. Dana and her omen had stirred something he kept locked away for so long he thought it long dead.

Nothing mattered anymore. He went to a nearby store to get some boxes, the sooner he'd pack and leave, the least chances would be to see and explain Dana's family about the whys about his sudden leaving. And to his luck, they loved him.

They thought Dana had won the loterry with him.

The least he wanted right now was to face his problems, or them talking back to him. Feelings and emotions too raw on him to allow them run rampant.

His lies were out, exposed, with no other way for them to hide. The deed was done and so was his bed. For now, he partially fixed it. Putting the bedsheets ontop. Cause if he was gonna lay in it, he'd do it comfortable enough to do so.

MJ gave your shoulders a gentle rub, before serving you a warm cup of chamomile tea with a bit of honey.

The ride back home from the clinic had been quiet, none of you dared to say a peep. MJ knew that you were too shaken to be functional enough. Too affected to articulate something, and still, she didn't ebb you to speak. She sat across you, giving your hand a gentle rub.

Minutes ticked by, the little tic tac of The clock made your own thoughts to pace to it's rhythm despite the racing and jumbled tempo inside your head. And when silence felt too deep and stretched, you spoke.

"Ever... felt like you've done something you thought right for the wrong reasons?"

"You did what you though was right, sweetie."

MJ looked at you with a softened and judgement devoid gaze.

"I... I couldn't do it, MJ. I thought that... I was able to. But I chickened out last second."

"Do you wanna share with me the why?"

"That's the thing! That I don't know!"

A shake of your head cut short a little broken whimper, while you pushed some strands of hair away from your somber face.

"I know it was the right thing to do! Even Miguel is right, but I couldn't!"

The knot in your throat tightened, making a sob to die suffocated. MJ squeezed your hand tighter.

"I'm sure you must hate me. "

"Why would you think that?"

Her face went from a frown to then morph into a surprised grimace

"Cause... I wanted to abort when I knew your struggles to-*

Your name was chided in such a soft yet firm way it had your eyes glossing once more. The kind of voice she'd use to discipline Mayday, full of love yet not taking any shit.

"You truly can't be serious right now. Sweetie, my pregnancy has nothing to do with yours. You owe me nothing. You owe those who struggle, nothing. Don't blame yourself, ok?"

"But I-"

"But nothing. You have the right to choose. You can still choose."

"The thing is... I don't know what to do."

"And it's perfectly normal to feel lost."

"I ran away cause... I didn't want to be like my mother. And that's a selfish-"

"Babe." MJ pursed her lips in a saddened smile, "Whetever reason you didn't do it, it's fine. You're not selfish or alike your mother for wanting an abortion."

"When Miguel told me to get rid of it... I... I got so many of my memories with her back. I wanted to cry and... scream."

"Then cry and scream, let it all out, sweetheart. And after you've done so, choose again."

"I can't, MJ. I... felt like my mother when I was about to enter that room. She was always... telling Dylan to get rid of me once her pills were over."

You sniffed and the redhead you had for a best friend passed you a handkerchief, which you used to wipe your eyes and tears, right away.

" It didn't help that Dylan hid them, and I was the only one to blame. I... I am the least adequate person to have a baby, but I'm too much of a coward to abort."

MJ pushed the tea closer to you, it had grown a bit less warm, but she listened.

"And... I feel like a monster to wish that sometimes my body would act like the silent killer and take it all away. But I know it doesn't works like that."

"Whatever you choose, I'll be there. If you want to reschedule your appointment at the clinic, I'll help you out after it's done."

Your eyes finally broke down at her next words.

"But If you want to give them for adoption, I'll help into looking for the right people. And, if you change your mind later about it all, I ask before anyone else to be the godmother."

"God, you're... you're such an angel MJ."

Hot and fat tears soaked the flimsy piece of fabric.

"Hell, even if you need some economic help-"

"Oh no no... No. I... I can't take that from you when you're already doing so much for me."

"I don't think Miguel is willing to help out."

"I don't need him. I've done it on my own for the past couple of months and I've done so great, didn't I?"

"Will you use the check?"

"And have another reason for him to be around me? No. I tossed it to the trash after tearing it apart. Kind of regret not giving it to someone in need."

"What If he tries to, you know, go the legal way?"

"Then he'll only prove he's a shitty parent."

"Just... It's so damn hard for me to wrap my head around it, you know? How could you just ask to get rid of something?"

"That's just who he is. I don't want anything to do with him."

"So... you're... carrying the pregnancy to a term?"

"Yeah." You sighed and looked at her, "I'll give the baby for adoption."

MJ nodded.

"You still have a couple of weeks to reschedule, you know? You don't have to force yourself to do this."

"I know. But I'm not forcing myself. I... I choose to do this because I refuse to just be like her."

"You're not your mother."

Those simple murmurs had your throat knotting impossibly tight.

"I know it's selfish to... use a child like that. Just to prove yourself something else. But I am unable to abort. I can't... I just can't. I'll feel even worst if I do."

"I'll look into adoption programs we can discuss later, ok?"

You could only nod.

"It's alright. Everything is gonna be alright."

"I gotta find a better job though. My current salary isn't enough to cover up future expenses and my insurance plan is gonna be ridiculously expensive."

"Want me to help you in that too?"

"Are you sure?"

"Obviously. You hate being pitied on, understandably so, yet, we gotta be realistic in some stuff."

"I'm not ashamed to ask the government for help."

"I know. But what if Miguel actually has a bit of conscience left and tries to help?"

"No. I don't want anything coming from him, I rather overwork myself than to ask him for shit. He'll throw it at my face. He thought I wanted money to keep myself shut!"

"Didn't Alchemax offers maternity insurance or something like that?"

"It does but... It's only for a little time. And I'm not sure to keep working in that place, knowing I can see them anytime or... something could happen to me."

"I still can't believe that woman hit you."

"She had the right to do so. But I'm also scared of her. He's such a manipulator that he could bait her into taking him back."

"I don't know about that. She seems like the kind of woman that takes so much for so long until she decides it's enough."

"Pretty sure having your fiance knock up a stranger is enough."

"Focus on you, ok? You already did your part in telling them both. What they decide to do, is up to them."

MJ wasn't wrong. It was up to them. If Dana was to take a grudge, you'd bear it. You were brave enough to spill it all to her, even if that earned a slap from her. But now she was free.

And Miguel...

Another deep sigh.

You'd pretend he didn't exist, just like he had been playing for the last months. The more you thought about the clinic and the business you were about to perform, made you unnerved.

You didn't want to go back, even if your life depended on it, you'd refuse. In all the categorical and brazen truth, you weren't able to abort cause it didn't feel right.

Although MJ told you weren't your mother, that's how exactly you felt while being before the pristine white walls of the surgery room.

It brought back one of the many coldhearted memories you had from your messed up childhood. Social services were regulars in the doorstep of the paltry looking and shabby located apartment. Post partum psychosis had your mother in and out of the psychiatric ward, a distant relative took care of you in the meantime.

Joy lasted for almost five years, until her schizoaffective disorder acted up, often endangering you. Until one day you were sure she was taking your life away, with her own hands.

With a blink of an eye, you removed your attention back to MJ whose eyes had turned in a deep concerned stare at your sudden shut off.

"I'll put the baby for adoption."

"Alright. I'll help you."

There was no hesitation in your voice, yet the little heart growing inside beat harder, borderline excited to have an extended stay inside.

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smoooothoperator · 1 month

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untouchable

19: Beautiful Things

Lando Norris x OC (Violet Sinclair)

same group friend, unrequited love, acquittances to lovers, ski trip, love triangle, life as lovers

Words: 5.6k (oooops)

Warnings: fluff (a little), angst, drama, crash, hopital

a/n: THE chapter!!!!!!! Let me know what were your theories about this chapter!

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Every way of feedback is very welcomed

The last few years I wasn't the best version of myself. I barely recognized myself when I looked at the mirror, not knowing what I did to look like that. It was like I couldn't control myself, being the victim of unfair and unjustified critics and hate, and making them get into my mind and believe every word they said about me.

For years I was under a fog that made my mind not perform well, and even if I had people that could help me, I never knew how to get rid of it.

Until I met her.

She was like a breath of fresh air every time she walked into a room. Her golden hair was the reminder of the sunlight as well as her blue eyes that stared deep into my soul whenever she looked at me. She was the pure incarnation of an angel.

I tried to be better. I tried to make her look at me, to have her attention and be the cause of her smile and happiness.

But she was always with someone else. She was out of reach. Untouchable.

For four years I dreamed of having her, I imagined a life with her next to me. Four warm summers and four cold winters.

Until it happened.

She looked at me. I had her attention. I was the reason behind her smile. I was the person that could hold her.

Thanks to her I freed myself from my tormenting, from my negative thoughts. She was the reason why I wanted to be better every morning. Thanks to her, I could face everything with a smile, I could go to my family and talk with them about myself without avoiding questions about work. And the best is that my parents loved Violet as a daughter.

“Lando!”

Would she like it big? Or maybe small? There are many sizes and forms. And what would she like more. Silver? Gold? Rose gold?

“Hey, you deaf muppet!”

I look up from my phone, finding Violet running towards me with her hand in a fist holding something.

“What is it?” I laughed looking at her, watching her sit on the sun bed.

“I just found this conch shell, look!” she smiled, placing it in the palm of my hand, making me smile when I felt her cold fingers from the water.

After the triple header, Violet and I decided to spend the first week of the summer break on our own, staying in Monaco for some days to relax before going with my family to Greece.

“It's so beautiful” I smiled looking at her, holding her hand and kissing her wrist. “How is the water?”

“Really nice” she nodded. “Come on, come with me”

I smiled and nodded, leaving my phone in the backpack and holding her hand while we walked towards the water.

When I started going out with her, I discovered that her love language was the same as mine, but she struggled to show it. Maybe it was because of her previous relationship, that made her be cautious about touching another man, but once I earned her trust, I discovered a whole new world with her.

Violet is a woman that loves talking about what she likes. Thanks to her I learned so many things about culture and different languages, and discovered new things and places I never imagined I would love.

“Come here” I smile, opening my arms while floating so she could come close to me and wrap her legs around my hips.

She smiled and rested her head on my shoulder, floating together. This was our first summer together, completely alone.

“What were you looking at on your phone earlier? You were really focused on it and barely heard me calling you from the water” she whispered softly.

“Oh, I just read the contract for the reservation of the yacht for Greece” I lied, smiling, hoping she would believe it.

“Is the same one from last summer?” she gasped, excited.

“Yeah” I laughed.

“God, I loved that yacht! It's so big and spacious!” she smiled. “Well, except the bed I had last year, but it was fine”

“Well, you are lucky to share a bed with me now, huh?” I smirked.

“I repeat. I won't do anything if your family is around, you perv” she laughed, splashing water on my face.

Violet is a blessing. She is the type of person that when you meet her for the first time, she always tries to stay distant and quiet. I still can remember the first time I met her, sitting on the couch of my house and looking at everyone while we talked, like analyzing us and trying to read us. But since I started dating her, I discovered a new side of her and why she was like that with us.

And like with everything bad that has been happening lately, the answer to that behavior was Harry.

“A thought for a thought?” she whispered against my neck. “I can hear your mind working”

“It's just…” I sighed, holding her closer to me. “I'm so grateful for these six months with you. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night thinking that everything was a dream, but then I look at my side and you are there, sleeping tenderly like a baby. And I swear I thank God every day for sending you my way that day four years ago”

I felt her move her face and look at me, leaning closer until our lips melted on a kiss. It was salty, but that didn't stop me from smiling and kissing her back when she held me closer too.

“This is not a dream” she whispered before pulling away. “This is real. My love for you is real”

I smile and kiss her lips again and again, not getting tired of the feeling of her lips on mine.

“And what were you thinking?” I asked her, kissing her cheek.

“Promise me you won't laugh” she smiled, poking my cheek.

“Is it funny?” I laughed looking at her, watching her shake her head with her cheeks tinted in red.

“No, no, it's…” she smiled, taking a deep breath. “Well, I was thinking about stopping the rent of my apartment ”

“What? Why? You love that apartment” I frown, tilting my head to the side.

“Yeah, but… I think I want to take the next step with you” she smiled looking into my eyes. “You've been living with me since you asked me six months ago, and even if you come on go, your things are still in the wardrobe and your toothbrush is still next to mine. I just think that the next natural step for us is having our names in a contract of owners of a property and living together… What do you think?”

I looked at her surprised. I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, living together in a house and hopefully having kids around, maybe a dog too.

“Remember what we talked about the day after Christmas?” I said, smiling.

“That hypothetical question?” she laughed softly, nodding. “Yeah, I remember”

“That they I asked you, hypothetically, if you wanted a house like the one my parents own. With enough space for kids and lots of rooms” I said, cupping her cheek and feeling how she rested her head on my hand. “I told you that day I said that we were in the perfect age to settle down…”

“And you said that you wanted to think about the future” she ended for me, nodding. “And I do. I do want to think about the future with you. I want to settle down with you. I do want to look at houses in our free time and plan things with you”

I smiled looking at and nodded, happily. This is getting so real, so true.

And for once, I prayed to every God that exists to never take her away from me, never. I would rather die than lose her.

“My only condition is to have a room for my books” she smiled, biting her lip.

“Anything you want, babe” I smiled, kissing her.

Back in my apartment here in Monaco I went to my setup room, sitting on the chair and looking at the screen of my phone, going through the same website I was looking at on the beach.

Some people might say that it's too soon, that we are young and have a long life ahead of us. But what is always in my mind is the thought of a forever with her, of taking every step of a relationship that leads to the next stages. Why wouldn't I look for something like this when I know that she is the one for me? Why would I have to wait when the answer is right in front of me?

“Love, are you going to stream?” I heard her ask, making me turn around and see her leaning against the door frame.

“No, why?” I said smiling, getting out the website from my phone and locking it.

“Oh, well, I was just wondering if you wanted to look for houses now. Just for fun, of course” she said, coming towards me and standing between my legs.

“Why don't we make some snacks before that, hm?” I smiled, placing my hands on the back of her legs, looking up at her.

She smiled and nodded, leaning to press a tender kiss on my forehead before she took a step back while I got up from the chair.

Violet and I move in a perfect synchrony when we are in the kitchen, or when we work. We know what we have to do, where we have to stand so we don't disturb the other. It's like I can hear her voice in my mind telling me what to do, where to go.

Once the plates with our snacks were ready, we walked to the streaming room, sitting on the chairs. While I searched on the internet some websites that had houses to sell, I saw her getting up and going to get the backpack she left in the living room, coming back with her notebook and a pen.

“First we should write what we want in a house, right?” she said, smiling.

“Wait” I said, placing my hand on her knee. “Like… are you being completely serious about this? Like, for real? You really really want to buy a house? I mean, we can look for an apartment until we think that it's not enough…”

“Lando, I want a house” she said. “With you. I guess if we are going to go through this we have to talk about, well… more mature things”

I took a deep breath and nodded, turning the chair to face her, holding both of her hands. I smiled looking at them, looking at the ring with our stones placed in her right middle finger, the wrist watch that matches mine after a sponsor sent them for us, the bracelet that is the twin of the one I have and a bracelet Eloise gifted her some years ago and she wanted to put it again. I rubbed her knuckles and looked into her eyes, searching for the courage to ask what was on the tip of my tongue.

“You want kids?” I asked her.

“I think so, yeah” she nodded, blushing. “I mean… I see the way you are with Mila and Athena, or with Magnussen’s daughter. And I have these dreams at night when I can see you holding her, holding a little girl with your curls and my blonde hair”

“Why did you never tell me that?” I smile softly, squeezing her hands. “That's so beautiful, Violet”

“Because I didn't know how you would react” she said, shrugging her shoulders. “Like, what if you don't want kids? What if you are comfortable with just the two of us? Less people to worry about, you know?”

“Well, I do want kids” I smiled. “God, I want it all, Violet. I want to get married with you, I want to have kids with you. Can we have a dog? Or maybe a cat. Or both! But, the thing is… I want everything”

“Then the mature talk is done” she smiled. “We are in the same page”

I bit my lip and nodded, pulling her hands to my lips and kissing her fingers one by one, smiling.

Is this what it feels like to have a soulmate? To have someone you are in complete synchrony, not only with how you coexist but with the way you think. We know what we want, and it feels amazingly beautiful.

But somehow this makes my fear of losing her even bigger. The thought of losing all it's inevitable.

The day we came back to London was sunny. Max and Pietra came to pick us up at the airport because we wanted to have dinner together, ordering some takeout.

Lando wanted to make a stream with Max in the improvised setup he made in my office, so while they stayed in that room, Pietra and I were on the couch talking.

“I told him about the house subject” I said smiling, looking at how Pietra opened her eyes with a big smile.

“No way! That's amazing!” she smiled. “So are you two for real? Like, forever?”

“I guess so, we had that talk too. The kids and marriage one” I said blushing. “It went really good”

“God, I'm so proud of you two” she said, hugging me.

“It has only been half a year, but I swear it feels more than that” I sighed.

“Yeah, that happens when you are with the right person” she nodded. “You feel that you know him since forever and that you were together for longer because all the experiences and memories”

I smile and nod, taking a deep breath. We talked about some more things until I received a call from the restaurant where we ordered our dinner.

“God damn it, they don't have enough drivers to deliver it at time” I sighed, rubbing my temple. “I guess I have to go pick it up myself”

“Oh, I can go with you if you want to?” Pietra said, standing up.

“No, don't worry” I smiled, shaking my hands. “I’ll be fast”

I sighed and walked with her towards my office, opening the door a little and walking towards the setup, placing my hand on Lando's shoulder.

“I have to go pick up the dinner” I sighed.

“Oh? It happened again?” he frowned, wrapping his hand around my leg.

“Unfortunately” I groaned. “Remind me to never order at that restaurant at this hour. It seems that everyone had the same idea of us”

“Yeah” he sighed. “You can take my car, it's parked in front of the building”

“You are the best” I smiled, leaning on him and kissing his cheek.

I walked out of the room and grabbed my bag, putting my wallet on it and grabbing the keys of his Audi. I always loved this car, how comfortable it is and easy to drive, and even if it was big and hard to find a parking spot for it, I wouldn't care.

I put music on the Bluetooth, listening to my playlist and singing along with it. The restaurant is not too far, only fifteen minutes away with traffic, and since it was late and the people that got out of work were already at home, the road was pretty empty.

So I let the engine roar a little, speeding on empty roads and feeling the adrenaline of hearing it mixed with the music of the speakers.

But silly me, I didn't notice the brakes starting to fail.

I hummed softly the music, watching how the traffic light went red so I pressed the foot on the brake pedal.

But the car wasn't stopping. The brakes weren't working.

“What the…” I frown, pressing again, feeling a shiver running up my back and already feeling cold sweat. “No, no, no!”

It happened so fast. My brain was working too fast and before I knew it I was jumping the red light, praying that the path ahead was clear and any car came into the intersection.

But my dose of luck was empty. I have had too many good things lately.

Before I could understand what was happening, a white light blinded me as well as the sound of a horn coming closer to me.

I felt the hit on my side and after that everything started to go slower, making me not hear the metal and glass of the car breaking. I felt my whole body in pain, the cuts of the glass in my face as well as in my arms, my side was terribly in pain. And what was worse, the pain in my nape and head.

Before I noticed the car stopping, I slowly passed out, nauseous because of the pain all over my body.

I didn't look at the time, not knowing how much it was taking Violet to come back. I knew she loved the Audi, so she was probably driving around to have fun and spend time alone with her music.

“Lando, you know where Violet is?”

I frowned and turned the chair, looking at Pietra. She was looking at her phone with worry in her eyes.

“She said she went to pick up the dinner” I said, looking at my phone, swallowing thickly when I saw that it was already half an hour ago.

“Maybe she went for a ride” Max said chuckling, looking at me and then at the camera of the stream. “This man made Violet a fan of speed”

“Hey, no” I laughed, hitting his arm. “She always loved to drive, and thanks to me she had the chance of driving my McLaren”

“No way! Did you let her drive it before me?” Max gasped, making me laugh harder. “How dare you?!”

“She's my girlfriend and I trust her with my own life” I said.

“Unfair”

I laugh and shake my head. We kept streaming a little longer until I received a call from Violet's phone.

“Violet! I know you love the Audi but we are really hungry” I smiled, looking at Max and Pietra.

“Are you related to Violet Sinclair?”

I frown, somehow feeling a shiver when I heard the voice of a stranger through my phone.

“Y-yeah” I mumbled, ignoring the fact that I was on a stream when my whole face went pale.

“I’m Captain Garrick from London's Fire Department. We found Miss Sinclair's phone and wallet in the ruins of a car crash. She was sent with urgency to the Royal London Hospital due to the critical conditions after the crash”

I just couldn't understand what I was hearing. Violet? In a crash? What?

“Lando?”

I swallow thickly, looking at Max. He frowned looking at me, worried. We were still in the stream, and I could hear the notifications mixed with a whistle that was making me feel nauseous.

“End the stream” I mumbled, getting up and pacing around the room.

Violet. Car crash. Critical conditions.

Those were the words that kept flying in my mind like a mantra.

Violet. Car crash. Critical conditions. Violet. Car crash. Critical conditions. Violet. Car crash. Critical conditions.

“Lando!”

When I felt Max’s hand on my shoulder I flinched, gasping.

“She…”

“Who called? It was Violet? Your face changed when you answered the call” Max sighed, looking at me.

“Car crash” I said, feeling a knot in my throat and my vision getting blurry as seconds passed. “She was… she is in critical conditions, they said”

“What?!” Max and Pietra gasped.

“I need to go” I said, burying my fingers in my hair. “I have to go”

“We are going” Pietra said quickly, grabbing her things and looking at us. “We won't leave you alone like this. Where did they take her?”

“Royal London Hospital” I mumbled, watching them walk around me, grabbing things.

I felt the panic coming to my system. The fear I tried to fight over the last months, I could feel it coming closer, like a predator breathing in my nap. My chest was heavy, I could barely breathe.

Max sighed, wrapping his hand around my wrist, making me come back to Earth and walk behind him, following him to his car.

“She will be okay” Pietra said, looking back at me with a sad and nervous smile. “Violet is strong, and stubborn. It's not easy to get rid of her, huh?”

I couldn't answer, my eyes were fixed in my hands, looking at the bracelet of my wrist and feeling how the metal of it burned my skin.

I can't lose her. There's no way this is real. This can't be happening.

Why? Why are they doing this to me? I prayed to every God, I promised to every one of them that I would love her with all my heart, that I would never hurt her, and this is how they answered me? By making her be on a limbo between life and death? Why is this so unfair?

“We arrived” I heard Max say, stopping the car after finding a parking lot.

I took a deep breath and pressed my hands on my eyes, trying to calm down. I won't help Violet by feeling this way. I have to be strong for her.

I got out of the car and ran following them, going through the door of the emergency department and stopping in front of the receptionist table.

“V-Violer Sinclair?” I asked, trying to calm down my breathing and heartbeat. “Did she arrive? Where is she?”

“Are you related to her?” the woman behind the desk asked calmly, making my blood boil because of how disinterested she sounded. “Only familiars can have the information of her state”

“I'm her emergency contact. Of course I'm fucking related to her!” I exclaimed. “Where is she?!”

“Lando…” Pietra sighed, placing her hand on my arm. “He is her boyfriend, we are her friends. Her family is not in London, we are the only people she has. We need to know where she is, please”

I saw the woman look at us, scanning every one of us with her eyes as she chewed a gum and then her eyes scanned the screen of her computer while pressing keys on the keyboard.

“For Gods sake!” I exclaimed, taking a step back.

“Lando, calm down, please” Max sighed.

“She's in the surgery room” the woman said. “Third floor”

I swallow thickly and look around, searching for an elevator and going to it with Max and Pietra. When we got inside of it, I could hear my heartbeat inside of my ears.

“She's going to be okay, don't worry” Pietra said.

“She's in surgery, Pietra… This is not okay. I know what a crash is. I know when a crash is safe and when it's not. I had plenty of them and never ended up at the surgery table” I mumble with a thin voice.

“She wasn't driving at 300 km per hour, mate. I'm sure it's nothing, okay? Maybe a few cuts or broken ribs… The normal after a crash” he said, trying to calm me.

I just nodded, letting out a long, trembling sigh.

She has to be okay. I need her to be okay. We talked about many things about our future, we have to make them come true.

When the doors opened we rushed out of it, walking fast through the corridors as we found the waiting room from the surgery department. I took a deep breath and looked around, finding another reception desk.

“I'll go” Pietra said, walking away from us.

“This can't be happening” I whisper, looking at how she talked with the receptionist. “This is not real”

“I'm sorry, Lando…” Max sighed, placing his hand on my back, guiding me to sit on the free chairs.

“I… God. We even talked about buying a house together” I said, laughing sadly and resting my head in my hands. “About marriage and kids. The other was looking for an engagement ring for her before she smsiad she wanted to.move in with me. God damn it!”

Max sighed and rubbed my back, resting his back on the chair.

“She will get through this, Lando. I swear” he whispered. “She loves you, she has a strong soul. She will fight”

I closed my eyes when I felt the tears burning them, letting them flow. I can't lose her.

“She’s in the surgery room number 5” Pietra said, sitting next to me and placing her hand next to Max's in my back. “A doctor will come to talk with you soon, the surgery is close to finishing”

I nodded and rubbed my face, sniffling.

I waited and waited. It was an eternal wait, looking up every time I heard the doors opening and a doctor calling the family of their patient. It was a torture, hearing people sighing relieved after receiving good news and others crying in agony after receiving bad news. And I couldn't help but wonder what would be mine. Good news or bad ones? If I receive bad news, what should I do? What is the process? I should call her family, right? What are they going to do then? What am I going to do?

“Family of Violet Sinclair?”

I looked up gasping, getting up fast and walking towards the man that called me. He is young, probably just the extra help or a resident of surgery that takes care of talking with the family.

“I'm her boyfriend” I mumbled, nervously. “H-how is she?” Is she…?”

“She's alive” he said, nodding. “When she came, she had multiple broken ribs and some of them punctured her right lung. Thankfully, we managed to fix it as well as the dislocated shoulder” he explained, making me sigh relieved and feeling a weight leaving my shoulders. “She's stable, but we had to induce her on a coma due to the damage in her head, so we expect her to heal on her own but she will wake up probably in a week”

A week. A whole week.

“Thank you” I nodded, swallowing the sob that wanted to escape. “Thank you so much, doctor. I owe you everything”

“We will send her to the ICU, you can visit her as soon as she's installed there” he said.

“What… What can I do to help her heal? Is there a way?” I asked.

“Talk with her” he smiled weakly. “They say that patients in coma can hear us. Talking with her and making her know that you are there with her will make her heal, I'm sure”

I swallow thickly and nod, feeling a wave of so many emotions hitting me. Relief, happiness, nervousness. I took a deep breath and walked away towards Max and Pietra, but looking at the family that received bad news recently.

“Well? How did it go?” Max asked worriedly.

“She's alive” I whisper, sighing with relief. “But in a coma”

“Oh, fuck…” Pietra sighed, biting her nails. “And then? What are you going to do?”

“Well, I'm going to stay with her” I said without doubting it. “I have to call my parents and tell them to go on the trip without us. And I have to grab some clean clothes for her… Oh, and reserve her a VIP, I really don't want fans around if there are rumors”

“I'll go grab her clothes” Pietra said. *Don't worry about it. Stay with her”

“I highly doubt that your family will go on the trip knowing what happened, Lando” Max sighed.

“I know” I sighed. “I know, I know…”

I took a deep breath and closed. For a moment I thought I lost her forever. For a moment I thought I lost everything before even having it. And this made me realize how much Violet means to me, more than I thought. She is my present and my future, the person that owes my heart, the one that is my other half. And I can't live without it, I can't live without Violet.

“Look, they are taking her to the ICU” Max said, patting my knee and making me look up. “Go with her, okay?”

I nodded and stood up, taking a deep breath and looking at them. I immediately hugged them tightly, taking a deep breath, and both of them hugged me even more tightly.

“Everything is going to be okay, yeah?” Max whispered. “Be strong for her, she will need it”

I took a deep breath and nodded, hiding my face on his neck and then I pulled away. They looked at me with a sad smile and red eyes filled with tears. Never in my life I imagined we could experience something like this.

“Give me the key to her apartment” Pietra said. “I’ll grab clothes for her and then we'll come back, okay?”

“You don't have to” I sighed. “Come tomorrow morning, yeah? You don't have to spend the night here, I'll do it”

They smiled weakly and nodded. I grabbed the keys from the pocket of my hoodie and handed them to Pietra. I don't even remember when I put them in there, probably it was without knowing it.

I watched them walk away, Max wrapping his arm around Pietra while they talked in whispers. I owe them everything for taking me here, for making sure I didn't break down.

“We took Miss Sinclair to the ICU” the doctor that talked with me earlier said behind me. “You can go with her. This way”

I looked at the young man, walking behind him as he guided me to the ICU. But before he opened the doors, he turned around and looked at me.

“I have to warn you” he said, smiling weakly. “What you will see might scare you. The ICU is not quiet at all, there are machines making sounds all the time. She has wires on her chest so we can rate her heartbeat, so you'll hear it. There's a tube in her mouth so the machine can breathe for her while she's unconscious. We put a cervical collar around her neck because of the hit she had in the crash. Her face is bruised and with cuts. But the most important thing is that she is alright, okay?”

“Y-yeah” I nodded, swallowing thickly and feeling how every word he said about her condition made my heart break more and more. “Thank you”

He smiled weakly and nodded, opening the door and guiding me to the box where she stays.

I tried to not gasp, to not scream broken when I saw her. This was something I never wanted to see before. And unfortunately here I am, watching the love of my life connected to machines that are keeping her alive while I hear her heartbeat and her breathing.

“I'll leave you two alone” the doctor said. “If you want, I can ask the nurses to bring you a blanket so you can stay the night with her”

I couldn't talk, so I nodded. He walked out of the box, leaving us alone.

“Oh, Violet…” I mumble, grabbing the chair and placing it next to her bed. “My beautiful, beautiful Violet…”

I tried so hard to not let the need to cry win. I tried so hard on keeping the tears back in my eyes. But it's so hard, and I’m so tired.

“How” I whisper, feeling my voice cracking as I speak, barely watching my hand holding hers because of the tears blurring my eyes. “How could something like this happen to you? Who did this to you, love… Why you?”

I took a deep breath and brought her hand to my lips, letting the tears flow.

I promised her I would always come back after every race, that I would be safe and go back to her. But karma is so unfair and what she was scared of what could happen to me, it happened to her.

“I'm here now, baby” I whisper, pressing soft kisses on her hand. “If you hear me, don’t be afriad, okay? I'm here. Everything is okay, we can get through this. I will stay here, waiting to see your beautiful eyes opening again and then after that I will take care of you, I don't care if I have to miss some races. I will never leave your side, you come first, always. You are my first priority”

What should I do now? I have to call my family and tell them what happened… Would Violet want me to call her family? She told me they only care about her when they need her… Should I call Zak and tell him that I doubt I'll be ready for the first race after the summer break? And the fans… I'm sure they made edits if the stream, of how I answered the call and how I ended it abruptly.

“God… I think we are going to be trending topic” I sighed rubbing my forehead. “What should I do? I'm sure there are going to be news of the crash and they would recognize my car, should I tsay something about it? I'm so lost without you, Violet… You are the brain of the two of us. The smart one.”

Someone, help me get out of this nightmare.

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sheepfulsheepyardinspace · 1 year

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anakin skywalker's relationship with the jedi order begins and ends with his mother.

the first time he meets a jedi, he's slave, and his first reaction is him saying, “no one can kill a jedi." and that means so much! because he is a slave, and even at age nine, he very explicitly knows that he nor his mother have no control over their own life or their own death. in the next breath, he asks, "have you come to free us [the slaves]?" for nine-year-old anakin, who lives and dies by his master's will and whim (and knows that very, very well), a jedi's power is intrinsically intertwined with a mastery over life and death which he has never had.

and qui-gon says no. and anakin asks him, "why else would you be here?" and that's never, ever answered to anakin's satisfaction. there must be a higher power and a higher goal, here, because up until qui-gon dispels this notion, the jedi have been the highest power anakin can conceive of. ultimately, anakin's freedom does not come from the jedi––he wins his freedom after having it gambled as valuable property—and his entrance into the jedi order comes with leaving his mother behind, his mother behind in slavery, in real and present and explicit danger. but the jedi did have the power to free his mother: anakin knows this, anakin asks this, and anakin is never answered—why didn't the jedi free the slaves?

anakin's most pivotal, most consequential meeting with the jedi order is his first meeting, and he's very much completely rejected by them, for things he can't control: his mother, his age. he is nine years old, has been freed from a lifetime of slavery maybe forty-eight hours before, and taken half-way across the galaxy with people he barely knows to meet an order he thought was myth with powers and rules he does not understand and have not been explained to him. when he is told he is afraid––of course he is.

"afraid to lose her?" yoda asks of shmi, and that line right there echoes off the great chasm that stands between anakin and the jedi order for his entire life. anakin, at such a tender age, is intimately aware that shmi is in clear and present immediate physical danger at all times. yoda is speaking hypothetically, existentially. anakin is not. anakin's fears are grounded deep in reality, of lifelong slavery, and yoda is one of the many standing before him who have the power to help and free his mother. so why not?

anakin's entire career as a jedi is founded on shmi, who told him, "don't look back," who anakin left behind as a slave, so in turn anakin tells his mother, "i'll come back and free you." but ten years later and shmi is still not free—as far as anakin knows.

it hangs over the narrative of aotc until anakin is holding his dead mother's body in his arms. by then, anakin is too late to free his mother, and it morphs: “I will learn to stop people from dying.”

it’s not a rational plan, or a reasonable goal, but it’s an understandable reaction that traces its origin directly back to anakin always having been very acutely aware that he has no control over life or death, especially since he was born as a slave. and no doubt! anakin’s skills drastically increase in the three years between aotc and rots. he goes from unceremoniously having an arm cut off by dooku to being able to relatively easily best him in a duel.

but from shmi’s death onward, every potential death of a loved one is now, in anakin’s mind, the same death played over and over. if he is running through every potential situation as a chance to re-do shmi’s death, he is the only unknown variable. as much as padmé’s death is complicated by their child’s fate hanging in the balance, it is, once again, shmi’s death.

there’s no wonder that anakin turns towards palpatine—who has manipulated and groomed him since age nine, from right when he left his mother—because yoda unknowingly recites the same lines in the script anakin has been feverishly relieving for years. yoda says: the jedi cannot help. his response was the same to padmé that is was to shmi: make peace with this, there is nothing to be done. but why? why not? why didn’t the jedi free the slaves, all those years ago? why can’t they save padmé?

the irony, of course, being that for all of the hellfire and fury anakin brings down on the order, he’s left with exactly the same as where he started. there are slaves. there is death—pointless, pointless death. shmi’s dead, padmé’s dead, his child’s dead. the republic rots away into the empire, because the empire had long before calcified in the bones of what had been a republic.

later, much later, palpatine demands the same thing from vader: i will torture your son, you will watch, and you cannot do anything—make your peace. and finally, finally, anakin shatters the cycle he and the galaxy are trapped in. he saves luke, leia lives, as anakin’s greatest triumphs, because it is the end of the old and beginning of something new. no more slaves. no more death.

#well. less death. no more Death Star for sure #this is not super coherent but just. anakin is so shaped by shmi and i cant get over it #some thoughts that have been bouncing around for a while now #star wars #sw #sw meta #darth anakin #anakin skywalker #jedi order #shmi skywalker #palpatine #empire #republic

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xenazaria · 1 month

Text

When the Preeminent was finally submerged, something... Strange... Happened. All of the remaining ghosts collapsed to the floor at the same time. Every single one of them. Lloyd watched, confused as Morro fell.

He should probably... Do something? Right?

He walked over to the ghost, cautiously.

He instinctively reached out to roll Morro over, but his hand faded through the ghost's body.

Luckily- or unluckily, depending on how you looked at it- the ghost stirred after only a few awkward moments of stillness.

Morro rolled over, blinking and confused. Lloyd's green eyes met Morro's brown for only a second before jerking away, searching for anywhere else to look other than the eyes of his-

Wait.

Morro's eyes were green.

Why are they brown now?

Unless...

"Where... Am I?" The ghost asked slowly.

What.

"You are in Stixx, Morro. You know, the place where you literally released a giant tentacle monster and then tried to curse the entire realm? That place?"

Lloyd looked back at Morro. The ghost looked like you had just told him his grandma died and then killed his puppy.

"You... Do remember doing that, right?"

Morro shook his head no.

"Do you remember possessing me? Breaking into Cloud Kingdom? Stealing the armour?"

"I don't- Cloud Kingdom? What? Why would i-"

"GET THE FU- FRICK AWAY FROM MY BROTHER YOU JERK!"

Lloyd almost didn't have time to react as Nya started throwing water blasts at the ghost. Almost. He jumped in front of her, getting absolutely drenched in water but not letting any past him.

"Nya stop! I'm fine! I don't think he's a threat right now."

Nya paused at his words "The bi- JERK- that jerk fricking kidnapped you, Lloyd! How could you say he's not a threat?!"

"He doesn't even remember who I am, Nya! I don't think he remembers anything from after he died!"

"Okay, um... Thanks for like... Saving me or whatever that was, but can I PLEASE have some more fucking context about... Whatever is going on here? Why is Blondie wearing that? And who are you? I thought Maya was the master of water."

"SEE?! He doesn't even know where we are. And if you look, his eyes are BROWN now."

Nya let the ball of water that she was preparing fall to the floor. "What?"

"My eyes have always been brown, Blondie. Unless they haven't? This doesn't look like those caves. Or the cursed realm. Where did you say we are again?"

"Stixx. You escaped the cursed realm, kidnapped Lloyd, and freed the preeminent. Do you seriously not remember that?"

"Freed the who? That giant octopus wanna-be? Gross, why would I do that? That thing's ugly as fuck. Also you never answered my question about Maya."

The two ninja just stared at Morro in shock, before looking at each other.

"Okay, so... Chances of... That... Being some sort of mind control?" Nya asked.

"Pretty high. My scan, along with interviews from the other remaining spirits, suggest that none of them remember anything after arriving in the cursed realm the first time." Came a voice from behind, speaking as hesitantly as a nindroid could.

"Okay... So... What now?"

"I say we gather the remaining ghosts and... I don't know, put them in a deep stone cell until we figure out what to do next. Zane, do you think you could get the others started on that? But have W- have Sensei come to us. I think he will want to talk to a certain... Someone."

"I am right here, green bean. How long was I fucking gone? Is that actually the green gi, or is it just some copy? I died, so clearly it wasn't supposed to be me... Was I gone long enough for Wu to find the real green ninja? How long did it take for him to replace me?"

Before Lloyd could answer, Morro froze.

"Morro?" Asked the old man, standing at the entrance of the alley.

"Umm... Hi... Dad... It's been a while, hasn't it? Or... Not that long if these two were telling the truth... Did I really... Do all that?"

Wu ran to the ghost faster than he had ever seen his uncle run before.

"Morro... Is it- is it really you?"

"Were you expecting someone else?" Morro joked nervously.

"When you- At the tea shop, I had hoped that- That wasn't you right? Please tell me that wasn't really you."

"What tea shop? The last thing I remember is showing up in some ugly ass green ribcage and yelling at some bitch, and the next thing I know I'm here."

"Language," Nya said. "There are children in the room- er- alley."

"Okay, well I don't know how long I was gone, but last I checked I was 14, so does it really fucking matter if I swear around children?"

That seemed to cause everyone in the alley to pause.

"You were 14?"

"You're telling me I got kidnapped by a child who is YOUNGER THAN ME?!"

"But... You left the monastery only 3 months before your 15'th birthday... How long were you out there before..."

"As far as I'm concerned, the last time I saw you was when I walked down those stairs a month and a half ago."

"Morro... That was 40 YEARS ago... You left the monastery 40 years ago."

#ninjago #ninjago morro #ninjago lloyd #lloyd garmadon #morro wu #morro #lego ninjago #morro and wu

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witchlaughwoo · 4 months

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paring; yeosang x fem!reader

warnings: yeo is a vampire but it isn’t stated, rough sex, biting, coming inside (don’t do it) minors dni!!!

a/n: hello!! i haven’t written anything in a long so i know this is rusty, rushed and all over the place so pls ignore 😭😭

there’s something off about your best friend.

it never was this way, not really. He used to be bright, his dark brown eyes so full of life whenever he talked about something he liked, the way he pouts whenever he got teased but didn’t try to defend himself. once dressed in bright sweaters now black skinny jeans and leather jackets.

you couldn’t help but think he looks good. too good.

what you didn’t expect is the position you’re in. you’re paid on your back, your shirt bunched up to the neck with your breast on display for the man above you. one his large hands had both of your wrists pinned above your head as the other held your jaw. with your cheek pressed against the pillow you felt yeosang’s lips make their path down your forehead, to your jaw until they stopped at your neck.

yeah this is definitely not your best friend.

“you smell so good,” yeosang groaned against your flesh, his teeth nibbling at a spot he found you the most responsive. “it’s so hard to control myself around you.”

“what-“ you moaned, your words being cut off as the man above you laid an opened mouth kiss to your neck, most likely leaving a mark. “what do you…”

the hand that was holding your jaw moved so now it’s on your left breast, giving it a harsh squeeze. you bit your lip to contain a loud squeak. yeosang paid your question so mind as he settled between your legs to slowly grind against your clothed wet core. the feeling of the rough material running against you and his lips on your neck makes you even more aroused.

“i have to have you now.” you didn’t realize he spoke until you felt a hand remove from your breast to your panties, sliding the fabric to the side. He quickly freed himself from his jeans and entered you in one thrust.

You moaned loudly, wanted to dig your hands into his shoulders but yeosang still has them pinned. How is he so strong?

Theres nothing gentle about this. He didnt give you any time to adjust to his large size. He slammed his hips against yours, surely to leave bruises. The pain of the sudden stretch quickly turned into pleasure, your legs wrapped around his hips as you take everything hes giving you.

Yeosang moves his head from your neck to put his forehead against his. The look in his eyes is something you cant explain. Hunger? Lust? Obsession?

Did i see red?

“You feel so good around my cock, baby,” he growled, biting his lip. “This pussy is so wet- fuck- and so tight. It’s like it was made for me.”

“Please…” You sound so pathetic. What are you begging for? For him to stop? To keep going? Youre not so sure. It just feels so good. “Yeosang…”

A smirk appeared on his face as he inched down so his lips are barely touching yours. “What is it, my love?” he says cunningly. “Am i making you feel good?”

You couldn't speak, all you could do is nod. he’s making you feel so good, the best you’ve ever felt. you clench around him and you swore a roar came from his throat. his cock fills you up in just the right places and you can feel your orgasm coming quickly.

“that’s it baby,” he grunts. speeding up his thrusts. “i can feel you. cum on my cock. i know you want to.”

as if it’s on command, you came with a moan of his name. not too long after, he came inside you, filling you up to the brim.

the last thing you heard was a small “i’m sorry” before something pierce the side of your neck and everything went black.

#yeosang fic #yeosang smut #ateez smut #yeosang x reader #kpop smut

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antifa-terra · 5 months

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Darkest Minds dash simulator

🐢 greenandproud follow

Literally unfollow me if you’re pro “cure”, as if this isn’t just another way to control us. You guys are cowards and playing into the idea that there’s anything wrong with being Psi

⚡️electronicwarrior follow

Posts clearly made by someone who’s never struggled with control over their power in their life. Of course you’re Green. Some of us have accidentally hurt the people in our lives and don’t want to have to worry about doing that ever again.

🐢 greenandproud follow

And of course you’re Yellow. Way to feed into the anti Psi rhetoric that we’re all inherently dangerous. You’re doing PSF apologists a service

🔋 memoryholed follow

The way I know greenandproud hid out with her grandparents and was never in a camp a day in her life.

🩻 forcedamage follow

I mean, she’s not entirely wrong. I at least think we shouldn’t call it a cure.

#and why should whether or not she was in a camp matter? #i was at black rock and i don’t think the people that hid had it that much easier

2,032 notes

🪬 kinclub

Just heard about some cool alternatives to the color categorization system!

Green = Prodigy

Blue = Kin

Yellow = Spark

🔑 lightningstrikestwice follow

okay op I love the energy but if you start calling yourself a kinnie the olds on this site are NOT gonna think blue

#btw what about reds

530 notes

➕ superwhounlocked follow

Really not sure how to feel about the surge in popularity in this site with teenagers…

🔋memoryholed follow

“with teenagers” please teens from the rest of the world have been here the entire time. just say you hate psi and leave it at that.

#literally you aren’t subtle

21 notes

🧢 freshouttacaledonia follow

Y’all do not in fact have to hand it to the Children’s League.

#i can’t believe i have to say this

7 notes

🦚 unforgettableunforgiveable follow

Starting a discord for Thurmond survivors feel free to dm for a link. Like and reblog for visibility!

#thurmond #psi #tw camps #tw thurmond

7 notes

🐾 jewish-psicychic follow

Friendly reminder that you never have to disclose your power, what camp you were in/if you were in one, and if any one is asking you to, they’re part of the problem.

🦋bluelikethetardis follow

ok but what if I dont want to get burned by a red or mindcontrolled

🐾 jewish-psicychic follow

Did I fucking stutter.

#what part of you are part of the problem is hard to understand

230 notes

🌈 psipositivity follow

- You are valid if you were at a camp!

- You are valid if you were hidden!

- You are valid if you were on the run!

- You are valid if you can control your powers!

- You are valid if you can’t!

No matter how you survived or what abilities you have now, you are so valid and loved!

#psi positivity #camp ment #camp survivor positivity

652 notes

🔸viddygameliker-deactivated20158021

The way you can tell most of the new users on this site haven’t graduated middle school lmaooo

🔑 lightningstrikestwice follow

you know i didnt think there were ratios on this site but damn if op did not get ratio’d to death

#also fuck you so much

3,722 notes

🐬aquamarina follow

I’m looking for the people who were in Cabin Seventeen (girls, blue) at Thurmond! We got separated after we got freed.

PLEASE SIGNAL BOOST

#psi #camp survivors #thurmond #thurmond ment #cabin 17 Thurmond

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#darkest minds #the darkest minds #tdm #Alexandra bracken #never fade #in the afterlight #fake posts #I have more ideas but this is too long as is

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swkappreciation · 2 months

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Chained King Au :

Kind of influence by one of @rebeltigera art that I’ll repost after I post this.

When Tripitaka is given the circlet, to make sure that Wukong doesn’t cause any trouble the Jade Emperor places a curse on it that along with tightening and causing migraines it subtly influences how Wukong see’s and interacts with those around him and slowly starts to change him. Originally it didn’t cause that much damage until Macaque tried to intervene and kill Tripitaka and the pilgrims did it rear it influence.

Anything Macaque tried to say to him to get him back was wrapped into something else and the circles influence aka the voices were crushing against Wukong until he couldn’t tell right from wrong and scummed from the pain. This lead to the circlet taking over and causing so much confusion and anger that he kills Macaque. Wukong wakes up and seeing his moons blood all over him and hearing his screams bounce around his head causes him to have a breakdown and loosen the circlet influence on him. He’s crying, screaming and his qi is leaking out of him and attacking/ destroying anything that comes near him and his moon. One of this blast hit Tripitaka and that’s when the Jade Emperor intervenes and summons Wukong to heaven leaving Macaque body there. Once in heaven Wukong goes to attack his is subdued by the circlet and is then chained up using golden chains from Guanyin and Buddha.

What happened next was just a series of bad events and his qi ‘attacking’ Tripitaka was the last straw. No one is in the room to see this happen other then the two which works wonders for the Jade Emperor. During one of his attacks against heaven the Jade Emperor got his hands on one of Wukongs clone and slowly took control of it. He summons the clone and talks about how he has ‘tamed’ the ‘Monkey King’ thus making him more of heavens puppet. He gives life to the clone and seals Wukong inside of the clones mind still trapped but his qi being siphoned out of him to make the ‘clone’ seem more real. Wukong has no say in this and is now left ‘rotting’ inside of his clone essentially watching it becomes him and no one realise that something is wrong.

Everting else is the same until the end of season 4 where Azure is trying to fix the universe he finds some of the previous Jade Emperors power of to the side and hidden from anyone trying to look. Since he’s using everything to fix the universe he destroys the seal and siphons off the magic to help him, this unknowingly free’s Wukong who has been the one to receive all the wounds and damage that the clone got. The seal breaks but due to how long it has been running for and how Wukong has become it doesn’t immediately fall apart. It’s takes a couple of days and a week later when the whole group ( and those who have been freed) all reconverge at FFM it shatters.

This has everyone starting at a very bloodied and bruised Wukong who’s sitting on his knees holding the broken remains of the circlet in his hands. Everyone freaks the fuck out and Wukong passes out from all the wounds leaving them all with more questions then they all needed.

Little things needed to know for after :

While Wukong is very strong in qi he hasn’t used his muscles that much in the void so he has to relearn how to use his hands and legs.

Doesn’t take him long to relearn but now has spasms that leave him without use of his arms nor legs for a couple of hours.

Has migraines from the circlet that leave him incapable of moving from where his is.

Will something claw at his head thinking the circlet is still there, along with his arms due to the chains being wrapped around them.

Dissociates a lot due to being in the void for too long. Having Macaque around helps as he uses the shadows to act like a weighted blanket.

Sometimes forgets that he’s free and still trapped and emerging is not real. This leaves to him just lying in bed not realising how much time has passed. Ends up waking up with Mk, Macaque and the monkeys from FFM curled around him.

Attaches himself to mk gang immediately as they only knew him after the swap and thus does not have underlined anger towards them for not realising that something is different.

Surprisingly Macaque is only allowed to be close to him if only someone (Mk or Mei) is around as the beginning as even though he loves Macaque things are very tense between the two. It changes over the following months as Macaque is the only one ( other then nezha) from his past who is allowed near him.

After they make up Macaque is very protective and acts like a guard dog to anyone who he deems unworthy.

Wuskong acts like he hates it but secretly loves it

Doesn’t know how to act around DBK and PIF. It’s complicated

Knows that tang is different from Tripitaka bus sometimes relapses and can’t be around him. Tang understands

Sees mk as his cub ( could be )

Very protective over the traffic light trio.

Nezha and him act like siblings who have been separated and reunited later.

Macaque lives in his shadow most of this time. Wukong finds this adorable.

#lego monkie kid #lmk au #chained king au #lmk sun wukong #lmk macaque #lmk qi xiaotian #shadowpeach #traffic light trio #sun wukong angst #lmk nezha #lmk tripitaka #lmk fanfiction #long post

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tanglepelt · 11 months

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Dp x dc idea 61

This turned out to be way longer then i planned. It was just meant to be a quick idea. Not a full like plan. So quick prompt below then a full idea.

Amanda Waller started the GIW. They captured small ghost at first. Had success in controlling them. Catch Danny. Convince him the league is in cahoots with him in case of an escape. He escapes. They get other ghosts and launch attacks against the league as an outside force obviously no connection to Amanda Waller. So Danny now is trying to deal with mind controlled ghosts all while avoiding the government and league. During a direct attack on the league Danny breaks a ghost out the mind control. Danny is then forced to work alongside them as the one he freed actually talked thing out with the league.

Imma give Danny an big reason to not trust the justice league. The Giw are working for Amanda Waller. Obviously trying to figure out a way to use those from the infinite realm as tools/weapons. These beings have proven to be a force to to deal with. Plants taking over, citizens forced into sweet dreams, kidnapping and the over shadowing of a whole town to vote in a mayor.

It’s the perfect way to take down the justice league. It won’t even look like the government played a part in it.

Now after freak show proved they could be controlled things get more intense. They begin capturing ghosts and trying out ways to control them. Test after test until they started to have successful trial runs.

They start with the animal ones, those who can’t actively communicate what’s going on if they escape. Figuring out ways to stop/force powers and stuff along those lines. They work extremely well in on the animals.

Animal ghost began to commander items for the group never getting caught. Following orders with no hesitation.

They get competent quickly this time around. Successfully capturing phantom. The one who was originally under freak shows mind control. Now imma give Danny even more altered dna cause he’s half human. Things don’t work on him the same as the others. If he’s a ghost it works just fine but as a human not so much. So freak show only controlled phantom never Danny.

Now obviously this is problematic for Giw and Amanda. The first time he turned back all progress had been lost. Danny had full control of himself again. Now She can’t have him going off and telling ppl about this. Their pretty positive he won’t be able to escape. Both ghost and human restraints are in use. Just in case convinces him the Justin league all work with them. That no one would help them.

Now Danny escapes. Not unharmed. He has injures and newly made scars. He avoided going ghost at all costs the second time they controlled him. It’s far easier to force him back into his natural human state then to get him to unwillingly go ghost.

How he escaped well he had some help. One of the agents perhaps an undercover hero helped aid him.

Danny is on his own and doesn’t know what to do. Slowly beings of the realm get captured. Coming under there control.

With enough members of the infinite realm the attack happens. Under the disguise of otherworldly beings. No need for Amanda or the GIW to be known.

So the justice league has a new threat. Danny won’t even consider the justice league to help or going to Sam or tucker. He didn’t want his human friends or family to be involved. He didn’t even manage to warn the realm.

When his rogues and his ghostly allies start attacking the human realm Danny knows what’s up. He knows it’s not them. Skulker could be bought out, but he wasn’t even threatening to take his pelt. So Danny knows he’s under control as well. He starts to counter them best he can. Theres just too many of them. Danny never manages to get close to any to occupied trying to protect the human civilians from the ghosts.

It would have been far too suspicious of the ghosts just attacked the league right away. Better to force the league to go out and protect a town or two.

A direct attack on the league is when Danny is fully revealed to the league. They already knew about phantom protecting civilians. They had to have noticed. One of his Allie’s maybe frostbite, Dora or maybe even pandora is leading the charge. Whoever it is Danny breaks the control on them. Only do to the fact the league is holding off some of the ghosts. Imma go with pandora.

He breaks pandora free after getting a near fatal blow. Her eyes no longer glowing under control. She comes to with him injured. Pandora is powerful and decimates the remaining ghosts forcing them to retreat.

The justice league has questions. Now they know it’s some form of mind control. Obviously they are aware of phantom as he publicly has been defending against attacks. At this point there is no way they haven’t figured out how to hit the ghosts. Tech works on them in cannon, magic works so they had to have figured out something. Now the problem comes in with the number they are facing. How they ghosts just keep growing in number.

Where the league requires weapons or magic Danny and Pandora just then had taken out huge swarms of the ghosts without any weapons.

Here’s where the problem kicks in. Danny is convinced the league is apart of the problem. Danny hasnt really connect the dots yet. He is terrified they’ll cause pandora to be mind controlled again. Despite the fact the attack was against the league. The two dip before anything is said between the parties.

Now the league are dealing with ghosts under mind control and the person who managed to break one of them out looked terrified of them. Maybe it was Wonder Woman who originally approached it is pandora after all.

Pandora who is not a scared teenager working purely on impulse connects the dots.

Danny is a not the most logical person at this time. She’s the one who actually approaches the league. To get both sides of the story despite Danny’s protests. She does meet him halfway and just arranged a meeting with wonderwoman. Away from the watchtower.

Her meeting with wonder woman only confirms things.

This leads to Danny begrudgingly working with them. He doesn’t trust them by any means. But he trusts pandora. Pandora sends a message to the realm. About what’s going on.

She stays because the GIW have her box. Just to add more drama. So ghost and evil running amok. They can stop and influx of at least one.

The infinite realm cut access to the human realm. They won’t risk more of there people getting taken. If a portal opens up a team goes through to destroy it. Natural portals are rare and and not a big problem. But happen. Those ones get heavily guarded going forward.

No new ghost. The rest still under control. Pandora could fight them off. The issue is the mind control. She’s susceptible. At one point she nearly gets under control again. Danny steps in.

He went through it all. Knows what they are doing, how they are doing it. He lived it.

Danny has been phantom whenever around the league. At one point the mind control is directed back at him. He goes human right in front of them.

With the leagues help they find a way to massively break the control on the ghosts. Danny has had time to realize he had been in fact lied to. Sam, Tucker and Jazz get a chance to yell at Danny for leaving them behind. Because i like the angst it brings it get brought up that it was the Fenton parents who sold him out.

#danny phantom #danny fenton #dp x dc #dc x dp #dp dc crossover #dp x dc crossover #dp x dc prompt #justice league #Amanda Waller #I’ve been rewatching justice league and justic leauge unlimited so i have thoughts #mind control is just too common in dc #then it’s happens in Danny phantom #pandora #pandora nearly killing phantom broke her free #she hurt the baby ghost #Danny is running of 7 shots of expresso and fear #he is strong but come on. let him be a scared teen #not the one who bears all the responsibility.#I’ve been stuck with this idea in my brain for the last week #I’m very susceptible to peer pressure on this idea #should i actually flush my idea into a fic when i finish my quarter in two weeks #like I’ll have a full week before my summer classes start #maybe vlad comes in at some point to help #pandora can go recruit Ellie #Ellie gets to be pandoras favorite halfa. i have decided #Danny and Ellie set off Batman’s adoption sense when they go human the first time #all he has to do it convince them they mean no harm #the possibilities are endless #vlad potentially teaming up with the Giw.#he sees an opportunity to get Danny as his son. mind control would work better then cloning him

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hallowsden · 1 year

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DC x DP Idea Thing #5

Danny meets Joker Jr (Tim)

So, was bored and brain thought "Hm... Danny knows what it's like to under the control of clown." Then, it remembered "Who else knew what it's like to be under the control of a Clown? Oh, right, T I M"

Sure, by all mean technically, both were 2 different circumstances, Tim having been tortured and brainwashed while Danny was put under mind control via a supernatural item. But still, nevertheless, this was enough to get the ball rolling.

Like, Imagine Danny, having just escaped from the GIW's torture and experiments, ending up fleeing to Gotham (Cause no body at the GIW wants to deal with the Bat or his rogues or just the general population there- even if they were (unfortunately) a government branch- which, if anything, would likely anger the rogues and thugs more and even half the civilian Gothamites-)

He wanders around Gotham, mainly vibing and chilling as he recovers, trying to find a place he calls his new haunt/home when he entered a seemingly abandoned warehouse.

Danny didn't know what to expect entering the abandoned warehouse, but it certainly wasn't a guy his age, bound to a metal table, trembling. Upon a closer look, the guy was wearing a black, red, and yellow armored costume of some sort, and on his face was a prominent Glasgow grin.

Seeing the electrical cords hooked up to the table the guy was trapped in, Danny flew closer, wanting to help him immediately.

The guy flinched harshly in his restraints upon noticing him. Danny stopped midair, as he raised one hand slowly.

It would take a bit for the guy to calm down, but even then, he'd be wary of Danny up until he freed him from the restraints.

"Hey- I'm not here to hurt you," Danny said gently, feeling the pain the guy held through his core.

At this point, Tim hasn't completely broken under Joker's torture but already, but he's already semi-brainwashed to be Joker Jr, er- well, to think of himself as Joker Jr instead of Tim Drake or Red Robin. Joker and Harley haven't programmed his personality into him yet. They mainly tortured Tim to be obedient, submissive, and susceptible to their manipulations and torture so it is easier to mold him into their perfect son.

JJ, as he twitchingly introduces himself to Danny, is gonna also have amnesia. He doesn't remember fully of his life as Tim or Red Robin, at least for the time bein. It was supposed to be his brain's way as a coping mechanism to forget the torture, but nope, Joker made sure he'd never forget it. Plus, being electrocuted can cause amnesia so... Yeah.

Danny's gonna make sure JJ's away from the warehouse and is gonna protect him. He may not know the full extent of the circumstances as to why JJ was there but he can guess, and it ain't good. Once he learns of the whole situation, though? Yeah, Joker's gonna be dragged to the Infinity Realms by him along with Harley, though, Harley may be released due to her own circumstances as well... She just needs to serve her time since she still did a lot of crimes anyways...

While Danny's taking care of JJ (even if it also meant stealing amongst a few other crimes-), Batfam is still trying to find their missing member.

Idk if this makes sense anymore. I just thought it be neat of Danny meets Joker Jr Tim, save him, and help him recover while Batfam are out, running around, like headless chickens. Would this lead to shipping? Maybe, who knows? I think JJ Tim and Danny would prove to be better as brothers here.

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clanwarrior-tumbly · 8 months

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i ssee you've readded stray... JBHABSHBJ I genuinely miss this game tbh i need to rewatch it

But! Mind if i request headcanons about a post game stray where the reader was a human in a cryo chamber for all these years and gets found by momo, through following the cat? Maybe they were put in cryo with some others and they happened to have lifeless bots like the up above ones that were managing things and keeping them in cryo until stuff was proven to be fine or smthn

I know its prob not accurrate to the ingame lore but i just find the idea neat </3 BJSHJBSHJB but aye, hope you have a good day!! Stay sfae hydrate

-salt anon

It took a while for Momo to find the cat who freed the Companions from their dark and desolate world.

As he ventured above the surface with the other Outsiders, he saw all sorts of stray cats of different breeds and colors..

But none looked anything like the ginger feline with the vest.

He had worried something terrible happened to it...

Until he spotted it running into a facility with a cryo chamber inside.

He learns it was built for the humans who chose to remain outside the walled city--meant to put them in stasis for hundreds of years.

Apparently robots did exist here, too..although Momo quickly noticed they were all orange and were lacking in both life and personality.

They were the Helpers: simple machines following simple directives until they shutdown, giving him generic statements about the facility.

He's disappointed they never got the chance to "evolve", although he noticed they were guarding several pods lit up with green lights, indicating they were occupied.

The Helpers mentioned them being hibernation chambers that wouldn't be open for another 10 years...

But of course, Momo couldn't wait that long to see a Soft One who's potentially still alive.

Haven't they all waited long enough?

He gets to work reviving one occupant (with help from Doc and a certain cat who distracts the Helpers).

Before long, you're wide awake, coming face-to-face with a Companion who has a unique rainbow screen and a flamingo shirt...and this random kitty rubbing against your legs.

You and Momo just sorta....stare at each other for a while.

And the first thing you ask him is:

"Did you learn to adopt pets like we do?"

After the initial shock and hesitancy to speak to someone Companions considered idols/ancestors/gods..he leads you back to his group and explains how the cat you were currently cradling like a baby did the impossible and opened the city with the help of a drone.

You don't believe it, at first...until security footage Doc and Clementine recovered from the Control Room proved otherwise.

You see that B-12 made a huge sacrifice, which saddened them all, but his consciousness was still very much active in the city network. So he was okay.

In the end, until your fellow humans awakened, you, Momo, and the cat decide to stay together somewhere.

And yes, you both officially adopted the feline as your own--along with any other strays who came along.

#clanask #salt anon #stray game x reader #stray x reader #stray momo x reader #momo x reader #platonic #headcanons #stray spoilers

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blood-injections · 9 months

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Having postcomic thoughts again.. especially within my au where when the girl frees the city and she finds the fab four who were stuck there being controlled by bli but wake up when she frees everyone's souls.

The war would be over, but fighting wouldn't stop. Theres no more dracs and the director is dead but not everyone was being mind controlled, the citizens would all just keep living peacefully and those that were dracs would go home to their families in the desert or city, but a lot of people genuinely believed in bli and were loyal to them, think of all the higher ups that would salvage what was left of bli and make their own resistance now, trying to get their utopia back. Most citizens and people freed wouldn't want to fight or take a side and lots of killjoys would want to retire and put up their guns now that their lives aren't on the line.

But there will still be those loyal to bli, and without dracs or a government there's going to be tons of looting and petty crime in the city but thats not something that can be fought with ray guns, so until something new is set up that's just going to happen.

But there will still be those loyal to bli that refuse to go quietly, and there will also be killjoys that have spent their whole lives fighting a war, that can't just settle for peace all of a sudden, because all they know is fighting for their lives, their freedom. Some will just be restless, but some will always be full of rage, always wanting something to fight, vel velocity would be like this. And there's killjoys that will always hate the city and those that reside there. It doesn't matter that everyone was being controlled and that the city was being run by a bunch of crazy assholes, it doesn't matter that everyone that's left in battery city are just People now.

So there will still be a fight, there will still be rebels. There will still be assholes on either side that refuse to give up their way of life.

And when the girl frees everyone's souls and finds the fab four and brings them home and they settle back in, they'll be restless too, because the last memory they have is dying, its sacrificing themselves to save the girl. And they've been cooped up in the city and they've been under blis control for twelve whole years, and they're restless too, they're angry, because they've had twelve years of their lives stolen from them, because they slaughtered and brought back to life by bli just to be their lap dogs, and they've been used to do god knows what while under their control, and they've been gone and they get back to the desert and find that their friends are gone and they never got a chance to say goodbye, and they missed out on getting to see the girl grow up, shes eighteen now. So they'll be restless, some more than others, one or two might want revenge.

And theres a few assholes from the city dumb enough to keep going, so the fight is not over. The fabulous four, well, fabulous five, now that the girl(Boomstick, she goes by, and it's a fitting name) is all grown up, they will continue to fight, because they're The killjoys, and they won't rest until all traces of better living are gone for good.

They get to fight with Boomstick for the first time, who, sure, they let her blow something up every now and then as a kid, but for the most part they kept her out of danger. But now she's close to the ages they were when they died saving her, and she can fight(she cant shoot in the comics and thats bullshit shes been on her own for twelve years bruh she's fought her fair share of dracs she can shoot a gun a right), she can build bombs as good as Ghoul and shoot as good as Jet, she's the sum of the fabulous four and all their skills. They're a family and now they all get to fight together, they get to catch up, figure out who they are now. And they're unmatched, and they'll end the war once and for all.

#corvids postcomic killjoy au #boomstick posting #danger days #my chemical romance #ttlotfk #mcr danger days #mcr #killjoys #the true lives of the fabulous killjoys #fun ghoul #party poison #jet star #kobra kid #the girl danger days #danger days au #danger days hcs #corvidscrap

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0junemeatcleaver0 · 9 months

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This post is the first in a series where I attempt to untangle the most mysterious aspects of Marius's mortal life.

Here I attempt to tackle the question of his political life in Rome.

DISCLAIMER: I would like to preface this by acknowledging the obvious, which is that I doubt Anne actually put this much thought into Marius’s back story. Additionally, when I hit post on this, I will be done thinking about the topic. Meaning: my mind is largely made up on this particular matter. I've done as much research as I want to do, and I've done the amount of arguing that I want to do--which is none. None arguing. This is more or less just a very researched headcanon, ignore if you like.

We of course are introduced to Marius in The Vampire Lestat. TVL is where we get the most insight into Marius’s life as a mortal--more so than we get in even his own book, Blood and Gold. We also gain additional information from Pandora’s story.

Here is what we learn about mortal Marius:

He was the illegitimate child of a wealthy Roman man and a Keltic slave woman

In B&G, he claims to have been high ranking in one of the legions, though he never saw battle

He claims to have later been a Senator, which means his father would had to have been of the Patrician class or a plebeian who became so rich he was promoted to Senatorial class

He never married

This is where we run into our first inconsistency in Marius’s back story.

In Blood and Gold, when Thorne asks if Marius was a soldier, this is how Marius responds:

Marius shook his head. “A Senator,” he said, “a maker of laws, something of a philosopher. I went to war, yes, for some time because my family wished it, and I had a high place in one of the legions, but my time wasn’t very long and I was home and back in my library. […] I never really knew battle. (B&G, p. 28-29)

Meanwhile, in Pandora, Lydia pleads for her father to allow her to marry Marius. He shoots her down, saying:

[…] But believe you me, the Emperor himself would not approve of you marrying such a mad wandering historian as Marius! He has never served in the military, he cannot enter the Senate, it is quite impossible. When you marry, you will marry well.” (Pandora, p. 55)

As previously stated, it is impossible to know if this is just Anne’s love of unreliable narrators at play, or if this is a lack of her remembering what she’d stated in previous books. But for our purposes, we will treat this as being purely a matter of unreliable narrators being at play.

So what’s the truth?

We can figure out who is telling the truth by looking at Roman laws of the time. The question is “Was Marius ever actually a Senator?”. There are three avenues that could lead us to the conclusion that he was; but if he isn’t seen to meet any of these requirements, it is safe to assume he is lying to Thorne.

Fortunately, we have enough clues about which avenue(s) would be most plausible (if any) just from the information provided by Marius himself.

The oldest male of a Patrician family (or the eldest son, if the father were infirm) could become a Senator

The same could happen for the son of a plebeian family if his father had become wealthy enough to jump to Senatorial class

So from what we know of how he was treated by his father (taken under his control--IE: adopted--and given an education and unlimited resources for his travels, etc.), he was seen as being equal to his legitimate brothers.

The Institutes of Gaius also detail several ways that Marius could have become a Roman citizen even if his mother had not been freed.

So with the problem of his parentage and his related rights out of the way, we are left to ask: Was Marius the eldest son?

It’s not stated explicitly where in birth order Marius falls, but I suspect he is not the eldest son due to this line:

And her people had been giants, it seemed. At a very young age, I towered over my father and my brothers. (TVL, p. 397)

Towering over your younger siblings isn’t so remarkable as to need making a point of. And so it stands to reason these brothers Marius talks about are older than him.

The third path to becoming a Senator is the longer path, and it begins with serving in the legions and then rising slowly through the ranks of the lower offices.

It certainly seems as though Marius is implying that he took the last of these routes to becoming a Senator. Which would be rising through the ranks of the Cursus Honorum.

But perhaps the most damning evidence that Marius is lying here is time itself. Marius simply did not have enough time to climb the ranks of the Cursus Honorum before he was turned at the age of 40.

Here are the facts:

The first time Pandora sees Marius, she is 10 and guesses him to be 25 years of age.

We know he was not serving in the military at this time because of two laws: The one prohibiting soldiers to marry, and the Lex Julia de maritandis ordinibus requiring all male Roman citizens between the ages of 25 and 60 under the rule of Augustus to marry.

On page 51 of Pandora, Marius attempts to ask for Lydia’s hand via her father. On page 52, he explains to her:

“Well, that sort of wanderer and dreamer likes nothing better than to betroth himself to a young girl of ten because it means she is not old enough to marry and he has years of freedom, without the censure of the Emperor. They do it all the time.”

If Marius were already enlisted, he’d be too early into the required ten year service to be worried about securing a wife. But if he weren’t serving, the matter of marriage would become more pressing, as an unmarried man of his age would be expected to pay extra in taxes for continuing to be single.

Ten years in the military was mandatory for securing political office (though some wiggle room was given there).

When we next see Marius, Lydia is 15 and so Marius would have been 30.

As previously stated, Lydia’s father says on page 55 of Pandora that still at this time, Marius has never served in the military and thus cannot enter the Senate.

And while it is possible that her father was lying just because he didn’t like Marius, Pandora’s reaction to his proclamations lead me to believe that he wasn’t, as does this passage:

“[...] why don’t you marry me to Marius? I don’t understand it. I’m rich. He’s rich. I now his Mother was a wild Keltoi princess, but his Father has adopted him.’

My Father said witheringly, ‘Where have you learned all this?’ [...] ‘I don’t know; it’s common knowledge.’” –Pandora, page 55

It makes sense–the Patrician class was a small group in comparison to the plebians. And people have always been the same IE: gossips. It would make sense that the basics of Marius’s background, his station in life, and how he’s been biding his time would all be known to Pandora in at least the vaguest way. She doesn’t refute her father’s claims about Marius’s life as a loafer because she knows it to be true already.

And this is a Marius of 30 years of age. If he completed the required 10 years of service, he’d be 40. If he were allowed the wiggle room others were afforded, he could have ended his service as early as 37 years of age.

And it still wouldn’t matter.

Because under Augustus (the Emperor who ruled from the time Marius was 3-4 years old until about four years after he was turned), freedmen could not run for office, nor could they be made part of the senatorial class.

Marius describes himself as “illegitimate” several times and even tells Lestat that his mother died when he was born–implying she died in childbirth (page 397 of The Vampire Lestat).

It is not a huge leap in logic to assume Marius’s mother never received formal manumission, as Marius claims all he knows of her is that she was once a Celtic princess and a slave. It stands to reason that if Marius's father ever freed his mother, he would know about it–especially since his mother being freed at his time of birth would have made Marius optimo jure, thus giving him full rights as a Roman citizen.

Because all children born to slave women were considered slaves, it also stands to reason that Marius’s father adopted him via manumission, and since the freedman in that situation would take on his former master’s nomen gentilicium and then enter into a pseudo-paternal relationship with him, it stands to reason that Marius’s father would treat him as a son and give him freedom, money, property, etc.

But he would still not be eligible to become a Senator.

And it is for those reasons, I believe Marius was never a Senator, and indeed never served in the military, either.

Sources:

#my meta stuff #the vampire chronicles #tvc #vampire chronicles #marius de romanus

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