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chrollohearttags · 6 months

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With AOTs last episode… Imagine if rumors spread that musician!Eren and Mikasa had something going on in the past. Then reader gets wind of it and they breakup!! I couldn’t imagine what was going through Eren’s head when the media hears about this shit!!!!!

ayooo! I swear, y’all are geniuses fr. I was thinking of something like this. And here I was needing a little drama (I’ll definitely have to do this as a full fic in the future but I gotta talk about thisss sksksjs!!)

content + themes: infidelity(?), angsty vibes, lots of drama, mentions of sex, alcohol mentions

── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.─── ── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* : ── ･

“Let’s get into this tea, honey. Cause it’s HOT! So boom, (influencer name) this girl right here..is engaged to this man, EJ The Don. This lady here is Mikasa Ackerman, or formerly known as MikaASH. Who is also the manager for both of them. Welllll, girl. Allegedly, she was over here hunching on Mr. EJ behind Miss (y/n)’s back! Mind you, miss girl got a whole HUSBAND herself—“

“Y’all already know what we’re gonna talk about so just buckle in. I could not believe this when I heard it. So word is going around that EJ the Don, Mr. Underground God, the Living Dead Boy..whatever the fuck his name is has been cheating on his girl. And if you don’t know who she is, this is (y/n) (l/n), leader of the Pole Assassins. Gorgeous, gorgeous woman..but this asshole decided to not only fuck around on her but with their manager nonetheless!—“

it was inescapable..every other scroll through TikTok’s feed was some person with a pair of earbuds, speaking over the static wafting through the microphone as they stood before and floated in front of a green screen..pictures and articles of the story plastered behind them. What was the latest topic of discussion and juiciest gossip for the masses; a sure fire way to get themselves circulating in the algorithm was your sad reality. A reality that you wish was all made up.

two people you loved and cared for deeply betraying you in an indescribable way. The woman who’d all but given you your start in this industry. Acting as that of a sister rather than a manager as she helped you navigate fame. And the man..you loved more than life itself. Who showed you what it meant to be happy for the first time in your life. Sleeping together behind your back…you had never felt pain quite like this. There were physical pangs in your chest, your stomach in knots and all of the air feeling as if they had dissipated from your lungs. At that moment, you wanted to disappear into nothing..fade away and never be seen again. But life went on!..you had obligations, business affairs, everything you’d work so hard to achieve. Meanwhile, your phone wouldn’t stop ringing. Missed calls and texts from them both, constantly sounding off back to back because lord knows if you answered, you’d only end up saying or doing something you’d regret. Much like you had hours ago when you stormed out of you and Eren’s home, bags packed with him running after you..tears in his eyes and the promise that nothing had ever happened. But there was proof. Pictures of them all over each other; Mikasa sporting her leather clad, skimpy attire she would wear on stage and him happily grabbing her hips as she bent over. It made you sick to your stomach. Physically ill even..it was too much for you to bare. Apologies, no matter how frequently and loud they were, would never absolve that hurt. The thought of them touching, kissing and doing god knows what behind your back..in your bed!

“Please (y/n)! I know what this seems like but that was from years ago. We were drunk, probably even high. Somebody took those of us, thinking they had something they could sell off to TMZ but you’ve gotta believe me when I tell you..nothing ever happened. I would never come between what you and Eren have—“

“Girl, please. Spare me the tears. If you wanna fuck him, he’s all yours. I’ll be damned if I ever compete for my spot. You got it.”

as much as you were trying to wear the brave face, you were torn apart and seeing her in full blown hysterics, trying to plead their case. But you were having none of it. As for Eren, he was in no better shape. He was devastated..heartbroken. More so than anyone could imagine. He wasn’t even going to bother heading to social media to clear his name as other accused cheaters had done so in the past. Rather, he downed the various bottles of liquor, stowed away in the studio’s cabinets. Angry and frustrated. More so importantly confused.

“Aren’t you going to go get her back, Mr. Jaeger? She can’t possibly believe that’s true. You guys would never..”

“Well she does and when she gets her mind set on something, there’s no changing it…”

how in the hell had a rumor like this started anyway?! Who was so bored as to drudge up old photos and post them, claiming that they had slept together. And most of all?….

how could he face you again..not knowing if it was true himself?

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cluescorner · 9 months

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Little Bits I got from the hangout (Spoilers for Kaeya’s Hangout)

-------------------

Things in parentheses are my own thoughts rather than canon stuff.

- Kaeya is a very kind person at his core. Both to those he loves and total strangers.

- So many people love Kaeya. From the staff at the Winery to the KoF to the citizenry of Mond to mild acquaintances to total strangers, Kaeya is truly loved by those around him.

- The KoF are all co-parenting Klee together, though they disagree a bit on exactly HOW to parent her.

- Kaeya is a great schemer but he TERRIBLE at coming up with fake names (Albert Rich...really?)

- Kaeya was a very shy child while Diluc was rambunctious. Diluc would get them into trouble and Kaeya would go along with whatever Diluc wanted. (I hope that we get a bit more of their dynamic when they were younger explored and that we see more of what Diluc did to be a good brother to Kaeya)

- The entire winery loves Kaeya. Not just Adelinde, not just Adelinde and Elzer. Everyone. They watched him grow up into the man he is today and they consider him a member of the family.

- Adelinde has covered for Diluc and Kaeya’s antics in the past. (probably why she’s so adept at covering for Diluc’s darknight hero stuff.)

- Tunner knew that something bothered young Kaeya, that there was some sort of deep-rooted issue that it’s implied Kaeya never talked to them about. (If Tunner knew, it is very likely that others at the Winery knew that this kid had TRAUMA. My guess is that at some point somebody brought it up to Crepus, who had noticed something similar, and he then asked Kaeya about it. Whether Kaeya confessed at that point...IDK)

- Klee is the cutest thing to ever exist and she loves Kaeya so much (that is not opinion, it is fact).

- Kaeya sometimes forgets which lie he has told to a person before and uses it twice. Diluc WILL call him out on this, before inevitably capitulating to whatever Kaeya asks. (Standard older sibling behavior, you put up a fuss but ultimately you will do literally anything to make them happy. It’s why I think Diluc is the older of the two, even if Kaeya also has many older sibling traits).

- Kaeya got sick fairly often as a child, but has grown up to be healthier. Adelinde took good care of him whenever that happened. (Chronically ill Kaeya truthers rise up! Also, he was probably sickly because of a few factors: not having the immune system for Mond’s diseases, probably living in the Abyss, probably having malnutrition, he was abandoned in the MIDDLE OF A STORM, and because winters in Mond are harsh).

- Adelinde knows exactly how Kaeya likes his food.

- Adelinde cares a lot about how maids are supposed to behave, but only on the surface level. If Kaeya can word something correctly, she’ll happily capitulate.

- Kaeya knows a lot about the winery business. (Supports my personal headcanon that Kaeya was supposed to take over the Winery’s business after Crepus’s death, but then the fight happened).

- Kaeya loves to act and would consider doing it full-time. He is also apparently very good at it (wow shocker. Boy who was raised as a child-spy and is constantly lying is good at acting.)

- While onstage, Kaeya is allergic to subtlety. (I love this. 10/10, throw off the shackles of destiny and toss a prop into the audience).

- Kaeya doesn’t like to bask in the glory of the good things he does, sneaking out just as songwriting preparations are getting good (Kaeya is also fairly shy at his core, but the persona he’s formed won’t allow for that).

- Kaeya is known to be thoughtful and is a good gift-giver.

- Venti wholeheartedly accepts Kaeya as a child of Mondstadt, considers him a friend, and wants to see him throw off the shackles fate placed upon him. (I actually liked Venti a lot this hangout. We get to see him be silly but also wise, understand how he feels about the whole ‘worshipping Barbatos’ thing, and watch him encourage the creativity of others. Plus, imo this hangout basically confirms that Venti 100% knows about Kaeya’s predicament and more than anything wants to see that Kaeya is happy and cared for in Mondstadt).

- (Kaeya at least suspects that Venti is Barbatos. The way the english VA acted things was a little too pointed to seem like genuine lack of knowledge about Venti’s identity.)

- Barbara cares about family the most, to the point that she will suggest that over even the worship of Barbatos himself (this is unsurprising, but also very sad considering how rarely she and Jean get to interact as sisters).

- Diona will sing hymns about fish-related foods and Venti 100% supports singing about that over Barbatos (also unsurprising).

- Diluc CAN AND WILL kill anyone who harasses his staff (somebody please draw fanart of Diluc fucking bumrushing poor Captain Wu to defend the maids, the image is simultaneously sweet and HILARIOUS).

#kaeya #genshin impact #kaeya hangout #kaeya hangout spoilers #venti #bro this hangout made me like Venti so much more #adelinde #mvp #best person in the world love you ma'am #tunner #getting a lot of development for random NPCs was not was I was expecting but I 100% support it #diluc ragnvindr #he is also a fundamentally kind person he's just worse at it than Kaeya is #I would also kill anyone who tried to harass the winery staff Diluc is so right for that #klee #she is the star of every show #like...this post is about Kaeya but everything I do is about Klee #I also now want to write about how the KoF co-parent her and what that looks like #idk I just love how much Kaeya is loved #like...people write Kaeya angst all the time and I like it and I write it too #but sometimes I just want to see characters be soft and show kindness and then RECEIVE that softness and kindness in return

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ruified · 3 months

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i just finished reading osamu dazai and the dark era and now my eyes are stinging with the feeling of tears attempting to crawl their way out from behind them, and they may just succeed in that endeavor so let’s see how much i can type out with tears in my eyes

i miss my wife (oda bsd)

Somebody probably should've tied him up, pried his chest open, and stuffed a vacuum cleaner inside. Then, as he screamed and cried until they needed to punch him to shut him up, they'd suck every last bit out of his chest and stamp it into the ground.

But in reality, such a vacuum didn't exist. Chests don't open up like that, and no one is capable of such feats. What we see is every-thing, and everything we see, we ignore. All we can do is stand before the deep ditch between us and others and keep silent.

the way oda talks about dazai is consistently heart wrenching, he knows that despite all of dazai’s maturity, because he was forced to grow so fast, he’s still a child

just a child protecting his fragile little heart the way an adult would, simply replicating what he’d seen others do and what he’d been taught and expanding upon it

That was when Dazai first realized: Sakunosuke Oda understood him much more than he'd ever imagined-right up to his very heart, almost to the center of his mind. Dazai didn't realize until then that someone had known him so well.

it’s as if oda never realized that he knew dazai better than anyone, that he’d successfully reached out and touched the child protecting his heart

oda mentioned regretting not getting closer to dazai

The reason why Ango and I were able to be by his side was that we understood the solitude that surrounded him, and we never stepped inside it no matter how close we stood.

But in that moment, I kind of regretted not stepping in and invading that solitude.

but in his final moments, that child in dazai reached out and asked for guidance, asked for oda to take his hand and point him in the next direction he believed was right because he trusted him

dazai thought so highly of oda because oda was always rather up front about everything, his feelings, what he was thinking, all of that. not once did oda try to use dazai, we find dazai sort of realizing this in the day i picked up dazai (which i read online not too long ago), and that’s what makes dazai like oda so much

they’re so important to me guys btw

With trembling fingers, Odasaku reached for the cigarettes in his pocket before sluggishly placing one in his mouth. By the time he pulled out a match, his fingers were too weak to hold it anymore. Dazai took the match and lit the cigarette for him.

Then Odasaku closed his eyes, smoking the cigarette as he smiled, filled to the brim with satisfaction.

The cigarette fell to the ground.

Dropping onto his knees by Odasaku's side, Dazai looked up to the ceiling and closed his eyes. His tightly shut lips faintly trembled. The smoke from the cigarette rose straight up to the top.

Nobody said a word.

READING THIS SHIT HITS HARDER THAN WATCHING IT THE ANIME FR DOES NOT CARRY THAT SAME IMPACT

something else they never included in the anime was THIS?????

In the middle of a verdant mountain trail atop a hill overlooking Yokohama was a cemetery with a view of the ocean. There were many new graves lined up-among them a small white burial marker without a name.

Dazai stood before the burial marker, dressed in black mourning clothes and holding a bouquet of white flowers.

"…….”

He squinted as the strong sea breeze suddenly gusted past.

The white flowers fluttered in the wind.

"I'll leave this photo here."

He took out a picture and placed it before the burial marker.

Frozen in time were the smiles of those three men.

"I really wish you could've tried that hard tofu I made..."

Dazai closed his eyes, then stood absolutely still, rooted to the spot.

GOD I FEEL ILL I LOVE YOU SO MUCH DAZAI OSAMU

Dazai didn't say a word. That was just about the first time he'd ever been unable to articulate his feelings.

"I..."

this is like one of the first, if not the only time, we get a glimpse into what dazai is thinking and it’s honestly so important that we did it this moment

the anime doesn’t convey it as well just how emotionally driven dazai is in this moment, like, yes you can tell, but his struggle between what he knew was logically correct and what he felt is so important to know about

it also makes this part that he said to ango really ironic

"I always lose the things I don't want to lose the most. That's why I don't feel anything anymore. The moment you get your hands on something worth going after, you lose it."

"When I first saw him over in the slums, I was horrified. His talents are extraordinary, and his skill is extremely destructive. Plus, he's stubborn. If I'd left him to his own devices, he would've ended up a slave to his own powers until he destroyed himself."

Dazai didn't freely make people work under him, period; much less a boy on the verge of starvation in the slums. But Dazai seemed to have his own reasons for doing it.

the way dazai talks about akutagawa here is so interesting and you really gotta take it at face value because he has no reason to lie to oda, especially not about this

here’s dazai being oda’s number one fan

"Sakunosuke Oda... I know that guy," the subordinate with sunglasses added hesitantly. "Dazai, sir, I don't mean to be rude, but...I saw him sweeping behind the office the other day. A man of his status isn't qualified to be your friend, let alone contend with an enemy like this."

Dazai stared, flabbergasted, at his underling.

"Are you joking? Odasaku's not qualified?" Dazai asked, thoroughly surprised.

he’s so cute

now for some silly stuff

here’s oda describing things in terms of cats

Searching for a Mafia informant is on a completely different level from locating a missing pet cat (which I've actually done before, so I say this with confidence). If a cat runs away, then you can stake out a local feeding ground, but there was no way for me to even guess where Ango's "feeding ground" might be.

I had placed a foot on the staircase to the second floor, which looked as if it could come crumbling down at any moment, when I heard a sound coming from somewhere in the building. It was very faint, only about as loud as a kitten rolling on its back.

he’s such a guy

"I am André Gide. We ghosts came in search of... the one who will free our souls," the leader claimed.

…

"Well, I know this guy who works at a funeral home. I'm sure he'll give you a discount if I put in a word for you."

"Anyway, I feel for you, Odasaku. Not only did you run into the enemy's boss, but he made some serious advances toward you, too. At this rate, you guys will be married by the weekend."

"That's not what happened." At least, I hoped not. "They're just a group of weirdos who start wars for the sake of it."

"Oh? I think it's kinda cute, going to such lengths to plan another person's death. I never would've thought of doing that." There was more than a hint of amusement in his tone.

“at least, i hoped not” ODA 😭😭😭

i just love dazai in this specific moment, he’s so silly

"I found a handkerchief at the site of the explosion." Dazai grinned fiendishly. "There was a napkin from this place wrapped inside. It was completely obvious. Who would've thought spies used such dated methods, huh?"

Now that he mentioned it, I remembered lending Ango my handkerchief before I passed out. That must've been when he slipped the napkin in. I just thought I'd lost it.

BRO THOUGHT ANGO JUST LIKE GAVE HIM BACK THE NAPKIN TOO

"Man, that was hot. Why does curry have to be that hot?

Does it have something against mankind? More people would eat it if it were less spicy. This is negligence in food culture." I thought about it for a moment before answering. "If more people ate it, then nobody would eat anything else, thus completely destroying food culture as we know it."

"Makes sense." Dazai nodded, seemingly convinced.

"You hurt yourself on a block of tofu?"

He must have been in desperate need of some calcium.

"...Odasaku, that's exactly the problem right there. You're enabling Dazai. You don't speak up, and that's why he goes off the rails."

I see. So this was what Ango meant by "enabling" him. You learn something new every day.

i love how funny oda is without meaning to be like he fr just says shit 😭

anyways that was a really good read uhh made me really sad, also better than the anime ngl, oda was so much more badass and cool

#ෆ┊¡ notes from val #bungou stray dogs #bsd #bungo stray dogs #bsd dazai #dazai osamu #bsd odasaku #oda sakunosuke #dark era bsd #dark era dazai #bsd buraiha #buraiha trio #ango sakaguchi #bsd ango #bsd analysis

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coraniaid · 5 months

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You said a few days ago that you would have liked if season 7 went more in the direction of Help rather than the direction of the First. I know you're not a big fan of the First but I was wondering what you meant by that specifically, and what kind of direction you might have preferred season 7 go in overall?

I don’t have any good reason to think it actually happened, but I always get the impression from watching or thinking about Season 7 that the early plans for the season changed pretty significantly at some point after most of the first few episodes had already been written. (Perhaps when they decided that it would also be the last season? I’ve heard conflicting accounts of when that decision was made.)

If you go back and look at the then-contemporary discussions of the show, the whole season was initially marketed as something of a ‘year zero’: a return to the show’s high school era roots, to something much more upbeat than Season 6, to the original Scooby Gang as the focus of the show.

And just to be clear, I rather like Season 6 – it doesn’t always work, and I think some of the subplots are pretty dreadfully executed, and sometimes I respect the episodes more than I enjoy watching them – but it inarguably has a clear vision for the story it’s trying to tell, one that builds on and recontextualizes what came before it. But for the payoff for that season to land, we needed Season 7 to be different. To be less cynical, more hopeful. It needed to show us that Buffy was right to promise Dawn in Grave that things were going to get better.

And that sort of reset is what we got … for about half a dozen episodes. Then, of course, it goes rather horribly wrong.

I like Help in particular because it is, for me, the closest the show ever gets to delivering on that promise of a return to the high school era. It’s not quite a regression or a soft reboot: Buffy is still an adult with a job, even if she’s suddenly unexpectedly back in high school. Her more mundane responsibilities haven’t suddenly gone away. But now the job she has isn’t something she hates but has to do – it’s something that she actually has a calling for, almost literally, something that harks back to her getting the Class Protector award back in Season 3. In Help Buffy’s inhabiting the same world she did in the first three seasons, she’s still trying to save people, but this time with a new, more experienced perspective.

The episode feels very aware of the show’s history, too. There are nods to Lie To Me (a teenager Buffy knows is going to die because of illness, not anything supernatural Buffy can stop) and Reptile Boy (the cult trying to sacrifice a teenage girl to a demon for material riches) and Beauty and the Beasts (with Buffy herself taking on the role of Mr Platt, worried that Mike is going to turn out to be another Pete), and of course the whole episode is a callback to Prophecy Girl. Because Cassie – probably the show’s last great one-episode character (and yes, the actor comes back later but the person doesn’t) – isn’t just somebody Buffy is trying to save, she is Buffy: a Season 1 Buffy who struggles to make friends and has a supernatural gift she doesn’t like to talk about and knows she’s going to die heartbreakingly young. I don’t think it’s merely chance that Cassie’s big speech to Buffy about her destiny (“You think I want this? You think I don’t care?”) echoes Buffy’s own words to her mother in Becoming either (“You think I choose to be like this?”).

Plus, while the episode ties into the wider story arc – with Spike in the basement and hints that Principal Wood might be up to something and our first appearance of future Potential Amanda – the whole thing still tells a coherent, self-contained story. It stands on its own right; it makes sense on its own terms. it’s not just another installment in the long running saga of General Buffy and the friends she never talks to who later kick her out of the house she owns.

And I think there was a lot more ground there to explore, in the same vein as Help. At least a full season’s worth. There was so much more the show could have tried to do in terms of going back and revisiting some of the classic moments of the first three seasons from a more mature and more grown-up perspective, instead of summarily kicking Buffy out of her new job and then blowing the school up (again). If this season is about the future – about new Slayers being called, one way or another – then what does that mean? How else are Buffy and Willow and Xander engaged in the challenge of trying to pass on what they’ve learned about life on the Hellmouth to a new generation?

At its best, Buffy has always been in conversation with its past, building on ideas that were touched on in one season and asking the audience to think about them again from a different angle. And the beginning of Season 7 sets up the perfect stage to try to do more of that.

I’d have loved to have seen a whole season of Buffy trying to keep her students alive while also preparing them to go out and live in the world. Of Dawn making new friends and finding value in being herself, not just the Slayer’s sister or the mystical Key. Of Buffy and Willow and Xander really getting to know each other again, and having a chance to talk about everything that happened to them last year. A whole season of, in a way, seeing the show from the very beginning, but this time from the perspective of people like Giles or Jenny or Joyce.

But instead we got a lot of boring wank about an impossibly old super-god who can’t actually touch anything (but one who Buffy would definitely let Dawn die to defeat because this godlike being is so much more impressive and scary than Glory, trust us guys, please, we swear) and her army of interchangeable and personality-free super vampires (and of course Caleb, who’s somehow even more mind-numbingly boring than they are). Instead we get a second half of the season in which Andrew Wells has more screen time than Willow or Xander or Anya or Giles or Dawn. Instead we get to wonder whether Giles is the First and try to pretend to care that Spike has been hypnotized. Instead we get Lies My Parents Told Me.

Oh well. At least Faith shows up near the end.

#btvs #asks #thanks!

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piercethenix · 4 months

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a very long list of sleep token lyrics that make me feel more religious than i ever did at church

"wont you come and dance in the dark with me? show me what you are i am desperate to know"

"im coiled up like a venomous serpent tangled in your trance and im certain you have got your hooks in me"

"and i dont wanna get in your way but i finally think i can say that the vicious cycle was over the moment you smiled at me"

"and i know i know the way that it goes you get what you give, you reap what you sow and i can see you in my fate. and i know i know i am what i am the mouth of the wolf the eyes of the lamb so darling, will you saturate?"

"lets load the gun. make her eat the tape in the bathroom mirror see if she can guess what a hollow point does to a naked body"

"so flood me like atlantic, weather me to nothing. wash away the blood on my hands"

YOU MAKE ME WISH I COULD DISAPPEARRRRR

"and just like the rain you cast the dust into nothing and wash out the salt from my hands. so touch me again, i feel my shadow dissolving"

"they talk me through the damage, consequence and how its a pain they know they dont understand"

"when the mouth of infinity buries its teeth in me, ill smile through the agony for you. and i know you still bear the weight of your own existence and youll never bear the weight of two"

"well, i know what you want from me. you want someone to be your reflection, your bitter deception setting you free. so take what you want and leave"

"rose gold chains, ripped lace, cut glass, blood stains on the collar, please just dont ask"

"give in again and let me lay, my arms belong around you"

"i come as a blade, a sacred guardian. so you keep me sharp and test my worth in blood"

"id turn my walls to gold to bring you home again"

SO SHOW ME THAT WHICH I CANNOT SEE EVEN IF IT HURTS ME EVEN IF I CANT SLEEP OH AND THOUGH WE ACT OUT OF OUR HOLY DUTY TO BE CONSTANTLY AWAAAKKEEEE YOUVE GOT ME IN A CHOKEHOLD

"and im not here to be the savior you long for, only the one you dont. are you watching me with eyes of a predator as you move towards the door?"

"show me those pretty white jaws show me where the delicate stops show me what youve lost and why youre always taking it slow show me what wounds youve got show me love"

"i am the shadow, youre a passenger. i am the intake of breath so sharp and i know you better. just want to know you better"

"if you want to give then give me all that you can give all your darkest impules and if you want to give me anything then give give in again"

"ill tear the fibre from the filamemt, ill be the limit of your light again. i want to taste you better i want to taste you better. i will be watching for your enemies, to let them know that they contend with me"

"between the second hand smoke and the glass on the street you gave me nothing whatsoever but a reason to leave. you say you want me but you know im not what you need but i am"

IF YOU HAD A PROBLEM THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME BEFORE YOU STARTED GETTING ALL AGGRESSIVE AND CONTROLLING YOU ONLY DRINK THE WATER WHEN YOU THINK ITS HOLY SO KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD OR WE WILL BOTH BE HERE FOREVERRRR

"nevermind the death threats parting at the door wed rather be six feet under than be lonely"

WHY ARE YOU NEEEEVERR REAL THE SHIFTING STATES YOU FOLLOW ME THROUGH UNNNREVEALED

"yet in reverse you are all my symmetry, a parallel i would lay my life on. so if your wings wont find you heaven i will bring it down like an ancient bygone"

"i know for the last time, you will not be mine. so give me the night, the night, the night"

"and i hate who i have become (i might break and bend to my basic need to be loved and close to somebody)"

"most days you reach for safety. remain calm, forget that you know me"

DARLING IM NOTICING YOUR FLAWS THEYRE EXACTLY WHAT I WANT EVEN IF YOU DONT BELIEVE ME, KNOW IT

"it seems your heart is locked up and i still get the combination wrong. or are you simply waiting to save your love for someone i am not?"

"is that a glint in your eye? is that a blade in your palm? well, i am yours tonight so will you lay in my arms?"

"i want to feel my stars align again, even if the earth breaks like burnt skin and the heavens just wont open up for me. would you invite me in again? wont you pay for your arrogance? wont you show me your weakness?"

#sleep token #sleep token lyrics #vessel is my lord and savior

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nyhti · 5 months

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A little arcrane headcanon. At this point, they have already started liking each other a little, but that's as far as it goes.

I just know Arkham Asylum has soooo many ghost stories. As a spooky old hospital, it's perfect for them. Every nurse and janitor has a story to tell, whether it's something that happened to them personally or something that they heard from somebody else. No one, however, knows more ghost stories about Arkham Dr. Jeremiah Arkham himself. The thing is though, he hates them. He wants to clean up the asylum's reputation and it being listed in books and articles as one of the most haunted locations in Gotham is not helping.

Jonathan would obviously rather be anywhere but at Arkham, but he has to admit the aesthetics of the place are unmatched. If he didn't hate the asylum on principle, he would love to spent a night just wondering the dark hallways with nothing but a flashlight. It should come as no surprise that he absolutely loves the ghost stories. Unfortunately, he doesn't know Jeremiah has all the stories he would ever need, as Jeremiah doesn't want them to spread and tarnish the hospital's name.

How would Jonathan find out then? Perhaps it could happen as so: Jonathan tells Jeremiah about a ghost story he overheard from the nurses, but Jeremiah stops him before he can finish, because he's heard it before. He first heard it about 40 years ago, this is nothing new. Jonathan asks if he knows more stories and Jeremiah, not thinking about the consequences, reveals to him he knows every single one all the way from the pale apparition in the basement in the mid 1800s to the shadowy figure a janitor saw in the laundry room just last night. When he notices the exited glint in Jonathan's eyes, he knows he fucked up.

Jonathan will NOT stop begging him for stories. It's actually quite the change considering how quiet and hard to talk to Jonathan is most of the time. On special occasions, say, on Jonathan's birthday, Jeremiah gives in and tells him a story. He takes note of how giddy it makes this otherwise depressed man.

One day, Jonathan is very ill with whatever flu has been going around the asylum. Jeremiah sees him lying in bed looking more miserable than ever. Suddenly he remembers the big smile on Jonathan's face when he told him that story on his birthday. He sits down on Jonathan's bed and starts telling him another. A faint smile on Jonathan's face tells him his plan worked.

It becomes a habit after this. On special occasions like holidays or when Jonathan is feeling down, Jeremiah will sit down with him and tell him a good ghost story. Jeremiah insist this is all an attempt to try and form a connection with this otherwise very closed-off patient, but deep inside Jeremiah knows that at some point, he simply began to like Jonathan's smile.

#scarecrow #jeremiah arkham #arcrane

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checkoutmybookshelf · 8 months

Text

Past Artemis and Present Artemis Are Not Allowed in the Same Room

If Number 1 kind of nudged the door open to time travel and wibbly wobbly timey wimey shenanagins in Lost Colony, then Artemis full-on kicked it down and yeeted a grenade through it in this book. Let's talk Artemis Fowl: The Time Paradox.

As per usual, SPOILERS ABOUND below the break.

There are a ton of things about this book that are amazing and in order to stay at least a little organized, we're gonna use HEADINGS this time around! That's not to say the headings are in any particular order, but life has been lifeing and I need a little help making sure I gush about everything I want to here. Because while Eoin Colfer introduced time travel in the last book, this one is a whole TIME PARADOX PLOT!

Opal Koboi, Empress of our Hearts

So, there are places for nuanced, complex, morally gray villains who have carefully throught-through ethoses and who are compelling because of their tragedy. Those kinds of villains are great.

Opal Koboi is not that kind of villain.

Opal Koboi is a villain in the classic Disney sense. She is absolutely unhinged, wants nothing more than to be Empress of the Goddamn World, and absolutely revels in setting things on fire just to watch them burn. She is rock-solid on her own worth, she is terrifyingly intelligent, and she is equally fun when she is strutting around in her own success as when she is pitching a dramatical cats tantrum because somebody said "ethics" in her presence. Our girl is sheer fun from start to finish, and honestly I love how consistent she is.

In this book, we see Opal before the events of The Arctic Incident, and it's great to know that she has ALWAYS been unhinged and glorious. If anything, this book shows us that the plan to use the B'wa Kell to take over Haven was weirdly vanilla for Opal. Sucking the bodily fluids out of endangered animals to basically Captain America super serum herself is...way more on brand.

The bit where she is too narcissistic and paranoid to stay in character as Angeline Fowl for more than like 60 seconds once Jay Jay is in the room is also AMAZING. Talk about getting in your own way...

Artemis vs. Artemis

So sometimes as a series gets increasingly lengthy, it's good to remind readers and character how much your protagonists have grown. Eoin Colfer decided that time travel was a great way to take advantage of this, and reveled in it by giving readers 10-year-old Artemis's opinion of 18-year-old Artemis and vice versa for the entire book, and it is SO FUN. They both hate each other, and understandably so. They both also have qualities that the other begrudgingly respects, and ultimately they need BOTH Artemises to resolve the plot.

We also get some really lovely instances of Artemis outsmarting and bamboozling himself. This conceit had every chance of coming off as cringe as hell, but Colfer handed it with enough humor and humanity to make it feel real rather than like a whole book devoted to a vanity plot centered on Artemis thinking he's the best thig since sliced bread.

Artemis...That was WILDLY Uncool to do to Holly

Ok, so Artemis has grown a lot over the course of five books. He's matured. He's learned how to be a reluctant antihero. He and Holly are legit friends. Which somehow manages to make it EVEN WORSE when Artemis full-on knowingly tricks Holly into thinking that she not only gave his mother a fatal illness but also started a plague that at one point killed 20% of the fairy population in three years. There's honestly no coming back from that kind of breach of trust.

And no, giving Holly a chance to say goodbye to Commander Root does NOT make Holly and Artemis square. It nicely ties up a loose emotional thread, but it does NOT square the emotional devastation of infecting a friend's mother and starting the plague 2.0. That is possibly the least believable relationship dynamic in a book where Artemis and Holly KISS (no, we're not gonna talk about it, they were both under the influence of the time stream and it doesn't count).

The truly wild thing about this is that Artemis before the fairies was a cold-hearted little bastard capable of incredible cruelty, but once Artemis understands feelings and emotional relationships, he's suddenly capable of hurting people WAY MORE than he could when he was a tiny robotic human. And of course the person he takes aim at is HOLLY SHORT. Like, FFS, Artemis. You did less damage when you had the emotional intelligence of a gold ingot...

Butler

Domovoi Butler is too good for this world and we do not deserve him. Artemis sure as hell does not deserve him, past OR present. Past Butler full on calls 10-year-old Artemis out on the act that he is *checks notes* handing over the last of a species to a group of fanatics to be horribly murdered in a kangaroo court, fully sells a sentient elf to those same fanatics, does not emotionally let Artemis off the hook when he is experiencing guilt and shame over being an accessory to murder and extinction, and TURNS THE PLANE AROUND to go save Holly and 18-year-old Artemis from the extinctionists. And thats just past Butler.

Present Butler is such a goddamn badass that he resists a juiced-up Opal Koboi's mesmer so hard that he gives himself a heart attack. Not even Opal Koboi can pull a 180 on Butler's moral compass, and even when he can't fully fight her off, he can resist in little ways, like sticking breathing tubes in barrels. Someone let this man retire happily, he has MORE THAN earned it at this point.

Baby's First Ecocritical Text

Environmentalism and ecocriticism have been very present as secondary themes in the Artemis Fowl series from the very first book, but this is, I believe, the first book where this theme gets really explicit and has real, concrete plot consequences and implications. The "hunting animals to extinction is bad for [list of reasons]" isn't the deepest or most nuanced version of the argument, but it doesn't have to be. The audience for these books are middle graders and YA readers. They get a concrete introduction to ecocriticism and some very comprehensible examples of the consequences of extinction and pollution, and that's going to be enough for more of them than you'd think to keep thinking and reading about the issue.

I highlight this because so few middle grade and YA books do ecocriticism at all, let alone this clearly and concisely. I suspect we will see more of this as climate change keep wreaking absolute havoc on quite literally everything, but these books did it before it was cool, and I really appreciate that about them.

Overall, this book is not my favorite of the series. Time travel can be a hard sell, even if you weave the complexities of time travel around a relatively simple fetch quest. As per usual though, the character work is never not entertaining, and I do enjoy rereading this one periodically.

#eoin colfer #artemis fowl #artemis fowl the time paradox #the time paradox #time travel #holly short #domovoi butler #opal koboi #middle grade sci fi #middle grade fantasy #middle grade books #middle grade fiction #books & libraries #books and reading #books and novels #books #book recommendations

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edible-star-soup · 5 months

Text

“how can i feel so much love for everyone around me but its not romantic”

“How can I feel so much for people but every time I think it’s romantic I don’t actually like them and I’m just delusional”

“oh”

“Yours must suck so bad. I can’t even imagine loving and feeling things for people but it never being romantic. I do like people on the infatuation level sometimes but because I analyze them so in depth there’s always something that icks me out. I don’t think I’ve ever really loved someone tho. I’m a firm believer in if you loved them you wouldn’t fall out of love with them. You can move on, but you’ll always love them.”

“we are so different”

“why?”

“just our beliefs and experiences”

“oh”

“maybe you need to stop analyzing things that are only there for you, see what theyre showing, instead of what you think you see”

“No I analyze what they’re showing. Cause when you ignore your instincts that’s when you get hurt.”

“oh”

“i dont go like psycho crazy in depth like learn their every aspect to analyze them. Just like the orange peel theory”

“the what?”

“You ask them if they’ll peel an orange for you, If they say yes, even if with hesitation, it shows that they will put effort in. If they straight up say no or make excuses, it shows they don’t wanna put effort in because that’s your job. Anyways I don’t know how to explain my thinking but like I don’t analyze everything. Like ofc there’s people that are date material I just don’t like them. Cause everyone has mistakes so yknow. It’s not like every little mistake or imperfection matters but”

“ill never get you”

“ill never get me either. Maybe i should just mess around and have fun kissing everybody like you do”

“idk man i guess i just feel like maybe im falling behind, i feel so much for so many people and i want to love them like a lover would and make them feel happy like a lover would, and i feel bad knowing that everyone will always have someone that will make them happier than i do. no matter what i do about it, i cant love them like they want. and its worse because someone will put into words all they want in someone to love and ill be everything they list but i just, cant love them”

“oh”

“no because i feel romance i fall in love with everything around me all the time and i know what its like to want and to love and be loved but its just not a romance like how others perceive it. i have so much feeling for absolutely everything, but its just not what somebody wants to be with, because i cant love them like they want, but i do.”

“I don’t know how to explain how I feel, I like people and there are people that I would date if given a chance but I don’t like them. I don’t desire to be with anyone but I crave romance. I don’t like people very often but on occasion I do, But I don’t wanna do anything about it because I’d rather sit with my feelings than lose that one ray of hope”

“oh my god were different”

“yeah were different”

“i think everytime we talk personally we get more and more different, or just find more differences”

“Like there’s nobody I want romantically but I WANT a love life. And when I do want someone I can’t do anything about it cause the only time I feel human is when I like someone and I don’t like not feeling human. i just float around. like a damn jellyfish. But when I like someone I feel like I exist. So I can’t do anything about it because if and when they say they don’t like me back they’ll disappear and I’ll be inhuman again. i dont know how to explain it better than that. i just want to feel man. Like ofc I occasionally feel real. But most things just don’t feel real at all.”

“i promise theres more humanity in you than just your feelings for others, if that helps”

#poetry #vent #love #romance #aromantic poetry #aromantic #aroace #green #orange #poetry vent #vent poetry #friends #i love you #lovers #aromantism

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some-pers0n · 1 year

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infodump about tf2 ships por favor

i am very curious about the silly violent gay old men

You have no idea what you've just unleashed. You just asked me, the person who has to have an opinion on borderline everything, my thoughts and feelings on the ships for the game I've been hyperfixating on for over half a year.

This is gonna be probably a long one full of unhinged and disjointed rambles about Science Party, so click if you wanna see that. I love rambling about TF2 and these guys, which is funny since 99% of this is me being delusional and making stuff up (despite talking about it like it's canon).

Now, I should put something here first and foremost. I don't actually...ship any of the characters romantically that much. Even my OTP is literally a queer-platonic pairing. It's mostly because I see the mercs as all being good buddy chum friends, despite them all being queer as hell. Yes, I love and reblog ship art and ship discussions like a madman, but I think my aro/ace brain just likes thinking of them more as all being pals. Also doesn't help I headcanon a third of them as being aro/ace (though only one is negative/repulsed by romance and sex, the others are neutral and positive respectively).

I suppose let's start off with the ship that's entirely rotted my brain: Science Party, or Engie/Medic. I don't think I've quite been this obsessed over a relationship as I've been with this one. Like,, any other ship I've encountered, I either like or don't like them. If I like them, I feel inclined to make content about it and just have some fun with this.

Not with this. I think this is the only ship I've ever encountered that I actually 'ship' with how passionate and in-love with it I am about it. It's quite fun and has lead me to start writing my newest longfic as well.

Science Party I just...adore. The dynamic of two evil geniuses together already ignites a neuron in my brain, but there's more to it. Medic is an unhinged and impulsive wildcard that does anything that crosses his mind. He's got an extremely inflated ego and a pretty big god complex. Then, you got Engie, who is like Medic in every regard as well. The catch is that he's a bit more controlled. Don't mistake that for him being more sane or anything though. I feel like he admires Medic for just dropping everything and not giving a shit about looks or appearances, instead being his true, uninhibited self.

Then you get to the interactions and just...me little heart... I've always envisioned Medic as being an uncaring and apathetic guy when it comes to others and their concerns. Low empathy, if you will. However, as his relationship grows with Engie, he begins to care about him just a smidge more, which is saying a lot for Mr. The Healing Is Not As Rewarding As The Hurting. He cares about Engie, enough so to be partners with him rather than friends.

Oh, I should also probably explain that a bit. Medic doesn't exactly like being 'friends' with people, so instead he's partners with Engie. I like the word, partners. If you also notice, I only use the word 'partner' in SAR whenever I'm referring to their relationship.

Anyways, Engie helps Medic open up and feel a bit more. But how does Medic help Engie? Well, I feel by being his unhinged and 'he has 57 mental illnesses and is banned in most public spaces' self, Engie sees somebody he wants to be. Medic doesn't care. He is happy and unchained by responsibilities and a commitment to be a functioning member of society. I could go into why Medic feels this way, but I'll probably end up just saying something along the lines of: "SOCIETY! SOCIETY!!!"

So, Engie has got some issues for lack of a better term. Even as a merc, Engie likes keeping up that mask of being a light-hearted good ol' Texan. He likes that persona, not only because it's the one he's always used but it's just a nice, likeable personality, but he also likes the idea of just going 'fuck it, we ball' like Medic. Medic encourages him to be more creative and detach from that sort of mindset. He tells him that he should do what makes him happy as opposed to doing what his family wants him to do.

They're just...really nice together. I don't know how else to put it. I always saw them as really similar in that regard, both being intelligent and highly regarded members of the team for their supportive roles. Beyond that, they're both clearly nuts in a similar way. They're just...the sillies. I love them.

I've got a lot of opinions on a bunch of other ships, but that's a discussion for another time (or until somebody pokes me about them). Science Party is the one I feel the most about by far, though.

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #medic tf2 #science party #engineer tf2 #They're just so fun and silly <3 #astronic #sp-rambles

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sinfulbutsincere · 1 year

Text

So help me God there's my OC

Yes, I also have an OC, which is created specifically to... well... be close to Jack Horner.

Fanchon (Fanny) Toad-mouth.

She is one of the two sisters from Charles Perrault's "The Fairy" ("the proud, ill-bred" one). Her curse is that every time she speaks, frogs, toads, snakes and other amphibians fall from her mouth. At the moment, she is taking special potions that have narrowed the effect of the curse. Now it only bothers her if Fanchon swears. Imagine not being able to tell somebody to f**k off without a toad in your mouth! Living hell!

Fanny is a good liar and a talented speaker. She knows how to manipulate the crowd. Her public image has nothing to do with who she really is: a touchy, vindictive, trashy girl who likes to slander and ridicule kind naive people and "happy endings". Her bitterness comes from a sense of injustice, because the curse has essentially ruined her whole life, no matter how hard she tries to deny it. God knows, Fanchon would like to take revenge on the very Fairy who cursed her. Maybe Jack Horner could help her... maybe...

Fanchon is a very socially active woman. She started by creating a support group for the cursed, which later grew into an entire brand. Now she is a well-respected motivation speaker and runs a charitable program to collect money for cursed ones. Not all money go to them, of course. Fanny is abusing funds a little. Just a little to buy co stuff, hehe. She is still that "ill-bred girl" from the fairytale.

Jack Horner is one of the most respected benefactors of the Cursed Foundation. Miss Toad-mouth is often invited to his estate for "personal meetings". Actually, Jack's charity is nothing but a way to slightly improve the image in the eyes of regular people, proposed by Fanny herself.

Jack and Fanny are more of friends with benefits rather than romantic lovers (at least he sees it that way). He is comfortable with a woman who does not demand anything from him but willingly obeys and admires him. She understands perfectly well that Jack is too good for her and is content with her position as a submissive and confidant. Just being able to be around him makes her feel less empty inside. She would do anything for him, frankly. She's deeper in this than she's even aware.

Random things:

The amphibians that fall from Fanny's mouth are not quite ordinary. their life cycle is about five to ten minutes, after which they crumble into dust (otherwise it would be an environmental disaster, duh)

Jack may have seen miss Toad-mouth at fairs, because in her youth she tried to make money by demonstrating the effect of the curse for the amusement of the crowd. She doesn't like to talk about it...

Jack Horner never kisses Fanchon on the lips. For obvious reasons.

Fanchon studies amphibians in her spare time. he can tell with a certain accuracy whether it is an ordinary frog or an enchanted person. Once she brought Jack a whole bucket of people turned into non-talking frogs as a gift (imagine her coming to his office like the Spy from tf2: "This... is a bucket, Mr Horner")

At their first meeting, Jack Horner joked that her curse might work well to scare off overly intrusive suitors, since she "can summon a snake with one obscene word." In fact, the appearance of a snake is just a 5% probability, so... unlikely. Although Fanny has a few scars from snake bites around her mouth. Apparently those snakes aren't even poisonous (what a bummer)

Jack's attraction to Fanchon can be explained by the fact that she is a rather liberated woman who willingly takes on the role of a submissive, which amuses his ego.

Well, yes, Toad-mouth is not her real name, but she tries to make this name more then just a taunt of her curse.

And yes, she is plus size. Why not. I am.

#i can't believe i did this #i'm sorry okay #original character #jack horner #big jack horner #puss in boots oc #puss in boots 2 #puss in boots the last wish #Guys I want in Baker's Dozen please #Literally cursed character

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frodo-with-glasses · 1 year

Note

Not playlist anon (obvious now I guess), but I'm going to jump on the bandwagon and ask you to talk about Little Talks for the game since it's by my favourite band ^^

Oh HECK yes Of Monsters and Men, let’s goooo!

So once again, “Little Talks” is in the playlist more for the overall emotion of the song than for any specific lyrics. There are obviously any number of interpretations you can get out of it—that’s one of the best things about OMAM songs, their artistic ambiguity—but for me, it’s one of those songs that goes into my little list of “this is what it feels like to love somebody with mental illness”.

You may notice that I picked a male cover of the song, rather than just using the original (which is exquisite and has less confusion over that one part in the second verse where the two singers’ voices overlap for one word), because it is meant to be, once again, a conversation between Frodo and Sam. Specifically, I see this as being a sort of snapshot of life in Bag End in that…what, year and a half?…after the Quest had ended and before Frodo left for Valinor. The song is sleepy, it’s tender, it’s melancholy, and it’s deeply unsettling. Whoever the two speakers are, they love each other, but something has gone very wrong in the mind of one of them, and it’s tearing the other one apart.

F: I don’t like walking around this old and empty house

S: So hold my hand, I’ll walk with you, my dear

F: The stairs creak as I sleep, it’s keeping me awake

S: It’s the house telling you to close your eyes

F: Some days I can’t even trust myself

S: It’s killing me to see you this way

For Frodo, Bag End doesn’t feel like home anymore. It’s too big. Too empty. Too full of memories of a past life to which he can’t return. He has constant nightmares and frequent insomnia and can’t always be sure of his own mind. Sam offers what he always has—patient, gentle assurances, and sometimes a hand to hold—but it breaks his heart every time.

Both: ‘Cause though the truth may vary, this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore

Ships. The Sea. The Sea only ever means one thing. It’s a look ahead to the very end.

F: There’s an old voice in my head that’s holding me back

S: Well tell [him] that I miss our little talks

F: Soon it will be over and buried with our past

S: We used to play outside when we were young, and full of life and full of love

Throughout the book, Frodo has a habit of looking into the future with pessimism: he’s miserable, but at least the misery will all be over and forgotten when he’s dead. Even the past is tarnished by the pain of the present; his happy years in the Shire come back to taunt him, dancing just out of reach, where he can’t grasp them again. But Sam looks on the past with fondness and almost aggressive optimism; in the dreary desert of Mordor, he thought back to when he was young, swimming in the farm pond with Rosie and her brothers, and even here he thinks wistfully about the days when Frodo was free and whole and things were easy.

You’re gone, gone, gone away, I watched you disappear All that’s left is the ghost of you Now we’re torn, torn, torn apart, there’s nothing we can do Just let me go, we’ll meet again soon

What is this story except Sam being forced to watch Frodo slowly deteriorate; of cradling his cold body, when he thinks he’s dead, and then watching him truly die from the mind outward, which is so much worse? Sam is determined to lead a good life in the Shire, but Frodo can’t stay here any longer. He has to leave, or he won’t heal. So after walking a long, long road side by side, they’re now torn apart on the pier of the Grey Havens. “Just let me go,” whispers Frodo. “We’ll meet again soon.”

Now wait, wait, wait for me Please hang around I’ll see you when I fall asleep HEY!

The sudden, raucous crescendo here in the original recording just gets me in the throat every time. It feels like love that hurts—raw, roaring, and desperate—when saying goodbye is like a shard to the chest that’s so close to your heart you can’t remove it without risking even worse damage, so it just stays there, and your skin and muscle close and heal around it, but you’re still carrying it with you ‘til the end of your life; and even though you may go for months or years without noticing it, it still pricks and gives you pain sometimes.

(Did that metaphor end up going a lot further than I thought it would? Yes. Am I running with it regardless? Also yes.)

“Wait, wait, wait for me.” It feels like something Sam would want to shout after the ship as it pulled away, but he shut his mouth and swallowed it into his chest, because Rosie was waiting for him at home and he couldn’t go, not yet.

“Wait, wait, wait for me.” It feels like something Frodo would want to whisper from the stern; please don’t hurry, take your time, but don’t forget me.

“Wait, wait, wait for me.” I read something recently that said mortals aren’t actually made immortal by the trip to Valinor; the land is called Undying because it’s full of elves, not because it can grant immortality. I’m not a smart enough Tolkien person to know if that’s true or not, but if it is, that adds a whole other layer of agony: Bilbo would have likely passed away not long after reaching Valinor. And Frodo? Frodo wasn’t exactly a spring chicken himself. He would have been even older by the time Rosie passed away, and Sam took it into his head to leave Middle Earth. After he had found his healing—and met all the elves he wished to meet and seen all of Valinor he wished to see—what else was there for Frodo to hold on to life for?

What else, except for the vague, wild hope of a reunion?

But until then, Sam lies awake in Bag End, with Rosie at his side, staring at the ceiling. And a motif of this playlist is repeated that first popped its head up in “Dear Fellow Traveler”:

“And I’ll return to my beautiful city Black skies will change into blue And though my love is so wise and so pretty Some nights I’ll still dream of you”

I’ll see you when I fall asleep…

I’ll close my eyes and dream of you, until we meet again.

WORD ASK GAME! (kinda!)

#word ask game #song rec #frodo baggins #samwise gamgee #lord of the rings #lotr #my writing #YES my playlists have repeating motifs based on tiny similarities between the lyrics of various songs #did you think i WOULDN’T overthink it to that degree??#anyway this one is skipping the line and getting posted asap because i got too excited to gush about this LOL #these boys own my brainnnnn

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jellydishes · 11 months

Note

JELLYYYYYYYY my friend my pal my brother in bite, I SEEN YA REBLOG and now I am HERE to get UP in your BUSINESS with QUESTIONs about your OCS who are ALSO MY BELOVEDS. (please)

I can't resist asking 7 and 18 about Edyiss my darling For Tsurin I absolutely need 16 and 23 And for Sorrow (asking for Tank and myself): 5, 20, and 21 And because I am perpetually curious about your marvellous creations, I'm enclosing a free space where you can pick a question you've been dying to be asked about the OC of your choice. THANK YOU I AM ENCLOSING BITE 8D

oh man you have released the kraken of ranting about characters lmao

now!! as for ed, i would bounce these questions back at the actual owner of edyiss, @pen99, but as far as my INTERPRETATIONS of edyiss hawke go for the purposes of my stories featuring her!

number 7, What's one way your OC has changed since you first came up with them?: edyiss has more or less remained consistent since i started writing her, though she's definitely more self aware than the rough framework my initial studies for the first story would've indicated! she just doesn't like making a big deal out of it or actually changing because of it :v

number 18, Is your OC more cold and detached or up close and personal?: edyiss is a fascinating mix of both depending on context and how pissed off she is, but in general i would say she'd more up close and personal in terms of her emotional/internal reactions, while often SEEMING cold and detached

tsurin tabris!

number 16, What is your OC's pain tolerance like?: medium, as least based from the perspective of some body who regularly suffers through migraines! i think she would be much better at handling sudden and short term pain rather than chronic issues tbh, it would fuck with her intensely, which is why the lingering issues from her burn scars after fighting the archdemon are the WORST for her

number 23, What emotion is the hardest for your OC to process? How about express?: i would say the hardest emotion for tsurin to process is grief, she's been struggling with it since her mother died in her early teens and it sends spiderweb cracks out into basically most of if not everything she does, while the hardest for her to express around most people is genuine affection/trust. she only really knows how to do it around family she's known her whole life. shit's tough!!

sorrow cousland/shepard!!

number 5, How far is your OC willing to go to get what they want?: in terms of what he thinks is strategically sound, VERY FAR. in mass effect he sacrificed the council for instance bc he thought it just made sense while in dragon age he sacrificed isolde! in terms of personal desires, he is far less willing to pursue THINGS he wants, but in terms of RELATIONSHIPS, he is pretty intense about pursuing somebody unless it's made obvious that his affections aren't wanted

number 20, Does your OC have a tendency to get jealous? If so, how does this manifest?: sort of! he's polyamorous in name, but he does get insecure and grumpy/withdrawn if he feels his partner(s) aren't seeing to his emotional needs in favor of somebody else, and i can easily see him getting snippy if pressed because he doesn't! want to talk about it! it's FINE!!

number 21, Does your OC have any illnesses or disorders? How do they handle it?: aside from his stutter, sorrow has tremors in his hands due to chronic pain, which is one reason he has his weapons modified so he can't drop them! though the answer you're looking for is, "never talk about it ever at all to the point that some of his companions had no idea he had chronic pain at all for MONTHS"

aaaaand for the one question! i do in fact have a song i associate with tsurin tabris from WAY BACK

youtube

#thank you for the questions :>#tsurin tabris #sorrow shepard/cousland #edyiss hawke #ask tag

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justforbooks · 1 year

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The Stand – the original version of it, something I'll talk about later – was published in 1978. I read it 16 years after that. I can remember the time and place: on holiday in Turkey with my family. I can remember that the copy I had was already falling apart, because it was enormous, and the binding wasn't made to be opened, I don't think. The glue melted as I read the thing; page by page, it fell apart. While I knew I loved King before that holiday, afterwards I'd have followed him to hell and back. It's because of The Stand that I've read all his work, and that I embarked on this series; it's because of The Stand that I'm a writer at all. And because of all this, I don't really know where to start writing about it.

Maybe with Captain Trips. Prior to 1978, King had published three novels under his name that focused on ordinary people ruined or damaged by extraordinary (and inexplicably paranormal) situations. The Stand looked at those ordinary people – the readers of his book – and said: let's damage you all. Rather than the threat being ghosts or vampires, it was a sickness, nicknamed, in the novel, Captain Trips. The sickness was a flu that killed 99.4% of the world's population, and it's terrifying, because we all get the flu. Even as you read the novel, you feel a chill coming over you. (Trust me: I reread this partly on my morning commute, sitting next to somebody with a cough that sounded like death. It's still scary.) Because it's plausible, it affects people in a lasting way. When swine flu broke out in 2009, I lost track of the number of tweets referring to it as Captain Trips. When we're scared we joke; and we joke because of the bubonic plague, because of Spanish flu, and because it feels so wholly reasonable to imagine a virus decimating the world. Worse still? Captain Trips was made in a lab, just like those biological weapons we're all slightly terrified of. The bad guy in The Stand was made by us, and it killed us. That's hubris for you.

I call it the bad guy, but Captain Trips isn't the bad guy. Not really. That honour falls to Randall Flagg. I've mentioned him before but here's where he makes his grand entrance. He's a man of many names: The Walking Dude, The Ageless Stranger, He Who Walks Behind The Rows, The Man In Black, Walter O'Dim, The Dark Man. In The Stand, one character calls him The Antagonist, vague and present and inexplicable. He's bigger than the novel, than the world that's collapsed and torn itself apart; and he only appears when it's done, walking from nowhere, only hazily able to remember who he was before (but that he killed policemen, fought for the KKK, and helped to kidnap Patty Hearst).

Where King's previous antagonists were small fry (or protagonists flipped on their heads), Randall Flagg is never less than pure evil. He has a counterpart, as all evils should: Mother Abigail, 108 years old, who communes with God, and who is the frail good to Flagg's evil. Both have the ability to inspire those around them, but Flagg has an advantage: evil is inherently stronger. It's easier. He's able to gather an army from the weak-minded, the stragglers, finding the darkness that's in us all and using it. He brings out everything awful in those susceptible to him: in his lackey Lloyd, and Trashcan Man, and The Kid, and Harold.

Harold. Poor Harold Emery Lauder, the weakest of the weak. A boy only a couple of years older than I was when I read the book for the first time, and who – like me, as I was discovering – wanted nothing more than to be a writer. And he knew about the same things that I did: being in love with girls who didn't know he existed; wanting to be somebody that he was hopelessly ill-prepared to be; and (the bane of all teenagers) feeling singular, alone. Harold was the crux for me; he presented me with the question that makes the novel so powerful and affecting to so many people. What would I do? If I was suddenly completely alone, if I was given the ability to do anything I wanted with no consequences, would I retain my morality? Or would I, like Harold, naturally skew towards evil because of my baser – albeit human – desires? Do we all have that potential inside us?

As the novel progresses and the survivors of the flu are forced to pick sides – drawn through their dreams to the darkness or the light, to Randall Flagg or Mother Abigail – Harold shows his true colours. In the novel's early stages he is a confused, angry, horny teenager; through Flagg's influence, he loses himself. He becomes a killer, a cold-blooded mess of rage when Flagg persuades him (using sexy schoolteacher Nadine, and the promise of Harold finally getting laid) to detonate a bomb and kill his friends. After succeeding and running away, he ends his life alone, his own hands on the gun, the only time in the novel he's actually offered anything resembling control. I remember thinking how terribly sad this was, because when the book starts he's just a kid. That's easy to forget. Stu Redman feels sad for him as well, and if I most associated with Harold at times, Stu was who I wanted to become.

Why? He's noble. He's quiet and moral and even passionate, and he manages to help inspire the gang of good guys to carry on, despite Randall Flagg's dark temptations. He's the one whom Mother Abigail entrusts to go to Flagg and fight back. He's an authority figure, respected and clever, and he's willing to die for the good of the world and his friends. He doesn't: he breaks his leg, almost as if he's spared, and he watches Las Vegas explode at the novel's close; the threat eliminated, the world ready to rebuild itself. He is able to be the father to Frannie's child.

That's not an accident. Nothing in The Stand is an accident. As much as it's a novel about the battle between good and evil, it's also a novel about fate. These people – the American contingent of the 0.6% of the world's population who survived Captain Trips – manage to meet up in Las Vegas, called from all around by dreams. Did they choose to find each other, or was it chosen for them? Mother Abigail's dreams come courtesy of God; she is his prophet, and she assembles her own biblical-type followers. Pregnant Franny, whose child can assert the human race's survival; the forgiving and ailing Glen; deaf-mute Nick; mentally challenged Tom Cullen, who will save Stu Redman; Larry Underwood, who starts the novel dreaming of Flagg, and is filled with darkness, but somehow finds the light. All the cast are put upon and challenged.

I read once that The Stand was essentially the Book of Job, with the survivors in Job's place: tested by good and evil both; pushed and challenged to see how much they could endure, as if their suffering were a game. There's a little more epic fantasy here than in the Bible, maybe, and it ends not with a war, but with an accident; with the chaos of Trashcan Man finding a weapon, and with Flagg's showing off going to far. But I can still see it. Good wins by default, because evil cannot. Those were the rules in the Old Testament, and they're the rules now.

I've read this book five times in adulthood, by my reckoning, and more when I was a teenager. I know some people read books over and over, but I don't; I'm a once-round-then-shelve-it reader, unless a book really stands out to me. This is my most reread book. I can't think of one that has affected me so much. It scared me and excited me; but more than that, it was the first time I noticed the textures of a novel. The Stand is dense and rich. Every character is full and alive, and they're all in the book with a purpose. They cover every shade of human morality, and that astonished me: the deftness of King's writing in making no two feel alike, and making their deaths – because a lot of the cast die, heroes and villains both, something that almost feels inevitable from the outset – mean something. Everything in the book means something, and nothing is accidental. I can still read it and see the narrative threads, set up to be exploited, revealed or knocked down: and the hints in the subtle stylistic touches (Mother Abigail's side drawn into longer, more florid descriptions of their actions; Flagg's side blunter, more bullish, more exposed).

I don't think I can talk objectively, really.

The Stand is a masterpiece, and I don't use that word lightly. King says in the novel's introduction that he "wanted to write a fantasy epic like The Lord of the Rings, only with an American setting", and that's absolutely what he did.

Important to note, this: there are two versions of The Stand. One was published in 1978, and it's about 800 pages long, and it's set in the 1980s. Another was published in 1991, and it's about 1,200 pages long, and it's set in the 90s. The books are the same story, the same characters; content cut from the early version was put back and the book slightly remastered, as it were, for King's later, more-receptive-to-giant-novels audience. Whichever one you read it's the same book, but for the finality of a single scene at the end of the remaster: where Randall Flagg has survived the novel's endgame, reborn somewhere else entirely, new memories and a new identity, and with a new group of people to try and lead.

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cooganbegs-blog · 3 months

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It’s just a collection of things that has finally just crippled me.

1. A role I have no guidance on, am trying to create it, excel at it and prove it’s worth to the company, I’m drowning.

2. Managing 5 people, half of which are completely inscrutable and have a cultural inclination to refuse to admit they need help or that they don’t know everything or that they aren’t perfect. How can I provide support and enable them to succeed when they give me nothing to work with. All that’s happening is I’m becoming more and more intolerant and starting to micromanage them- and therefore hate myself

3. I’m the cheerleader of the team, I am “on” ask the questions, be positive, engage, support and it’s sucking my will to live! I dread Tuesday where I have back to back one-on-ones, I wake up literally feeling like I need to shit my pants!!

4. A CEO and CTO who have expectations that I’m not meeting but I’m not sure really how to Dunhill them, they ask questions that I have no answer for and I walk away feeling incompetent and like I’m in imminent danger of losing my job

5. I can’t lose my job, I am about to hock myself to the eyeballs to build and renovate. I am the provider, I make sure everything is paid for, budgeted for and saved for.

6. I don’t have the time to even think about project managing a fucking build let alone a build and a Reno at the same time

7. The Sprout board is also sucking the life out of me. I get I’m the Chair but I do everything and am the cheerleader and the champion and run the strategy and planning days, he board meetings, weekly CEO meetings and am driving the need to double our revenue for no other reason than we need to pay our two part-time employees for their time. We are (and have been for some time) underpaying them and it leaves me feeling ill at the situation. If I do one thing as the Chair it will be rising enough revenue to pay our people what they are fucking worth, before they leave and we have no organisation left. I have such beleif in what they do and am really passionate but it’s sucking me dry and I’m pretty sure I’ll be stepping back at the end of the year.

8. After 10 years, I continue to be completely fucked and unable to function in a family situation. I am the third wheel and am the reason somebody doesn’t want to stay in our house. Apparently they feel uncomfortable and would rather stay with the other parent. Ie. I’m a big fat fucking bitchy, mcbitch face. And what would I know about how a reasonable family should function ie. some boundaries apparently I have no idea and everyone else has perfect families where people are completely non-judgemental and accepting and people come and go and treat each other however they like and it’s all just one big love-fest, perfect family. There is clearly something fundamentally broken and wrong about me.

9. I’m tired of being the adult, I pay the bills, I pay the rates, I make sure we have money for beer and wine and food and the bread is taken out of the freezer for breakfast. I run the budget and the household and make sure dinner is on the table and it’s healthy and edible (yes there is an element of my eating paranoia here!)

10. I’m clearly fucked in personal relationships as I’ve overhead two phone conversations (one with the accountant and one with an employee) where more is disclosed in a phone conversation than I have managed to extract in months. Clearly I’m such a bitchy McBitchface that I’m unapproachable even though I ask and am genuinely interested in what is going on in the lives of the people I give a shit about.

11. My sister is FINALLY getting divorced, it’s been about 6 years in the making. The drama, the drama, the drama …. And I just have to sit here and support and be quiet and be available whenever she wants to talk, and if she doesn’t, well make sure I keep checking in just so she knows I’m still checking in, even when she doesn’t reply for weeks on end. Don’t even think for one second of not doing daily checkins … then I’m the bitchy McBitchface sister who doesn’t give a fuck.

12. I can’t swim, I’m terrified of water and it’s so fucking embarrassing and stupid and fucked and so I need to fix that, even if I can fix this one thing, maybe there’s hope for the rest of the steaming pile of failures that makes me up. So I’m going through some other form of therapy to try and dig into the origins of this particular failure …. Clearly rooted win my fucked up upbringing.

13. Which brings me to the puppy. I wanted a dog because I desperately missed Loki, and because I wanted something in my life that needed me, that was mine, all mine. Yes, it was a substitute for human relationships. In January I was alone and lonely and on the outside. Three has always been the lonliest number, and it continues to be, even after I hung on with the expectation that things would change. What a fucking idiot, I kept pushing the goalposts, when this milestone is reached, it’ll be different, when this milestone is reached, it’ll be different. It’ll never be different. If I ever have this experience again, I will run a mile from a man who has a daughter from a previous relationship, I am forever setup for failure and second best. So, the dog has bonded with the other. I’m the one that of course is responsible because I made the decision (for all the wrong reasons), and am now fucking hating the dog, the inability to just go out and run because I have to train and exercise the dog, be consistent over and over and over again. And even after admitting I needed help and wasn’t coping (do you have any idea just how much that cost me to admit that!!). I’m still the one doing the daily exercising, feeding, training. And all I want to do is scream at him and beat another living creature into submission instead of loving and celebrating his curiosity and joi de vie. And there it is …..the crux of the issue. My base reaction and instincts at the lowest are no better than my old man, I haven’t learned anything, I’m no different or better that him …. he belted the shit out of us to control us, and I want to do the same thing. And all I feel is such self-hatred it makes me feel ill. I have to give this dog up before I actually do become my old man.

I just feel like such a failure, rationally I know this can’t be the case. I can’t see out of the fog and the darkness. I hate who I am.

I want to take the red pill, wake up tomorrow and not remember a thing.

And yes, all first world problems. I earn a stupid wage, I have a comfortable life. I have nothing to complain about … and yet I complain about everything!!

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justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms · 6 months

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hihihi could i get a demon slayer matchupppppo, i go by she/her btw:))))))))

I have reddish brown wavy thick hair and brown eyes i usually leave my hair down but i sometimes put it in braids or pigtails , im 5'1, and have a pear body type im a female and bisexual (male preference)

My hobbies are likeee, working out, playing electric guitar, kickboxing, buying dumb shit that i dont need, baking(especially for loved ones)and i have a few other hobbies

For my personality im an istp and an aquarius if those count for anything, its hard for me to describe my own personality but some people dont get my sense of humor often and i come off as mean. Another thing that makes me come off as rude or mean is my social anxiety in public so i dont say much and i have a resting bitch face not even on purpose. I dont consider myself mean, like i genuinely love making people happy and helping them with things but my social anxiety holds me back on trying to help people and complimenting them .I only have a small group of friends that i talk to but i love them so much. I can be antisocial sometimes because being social all the time drains me, . Though when im with my friends and im really energetic, impulsive, dramatic, opinionated, sarcastic and a little annoying and talk a lot n i always wanna do things+a risk taker i get myself in trouble a lot. I hate it when i go over to peoples houses and they js sit on their phone like wtf did i even come here for ??

Some things i love are animals,doing new things, flowers, nature, horror, the color pink, anything pretty really, motorcycles, pinterest, music(especially metal or rock), incense, smoothie bowls, my friends, plushies, dressing up, halloween,long walks and a lot of other thingsssssss

Some stuff i hate are cheaters, home wreckers, talking to new people, feeling nauseous from panic attacks, fatigue, and wasps.

People tend to see me as less emotional which is true sometimes but when i love i really love hard and i dont get with just anyone and it takes me a while to fall for someone and people don't expect it from me, im so different and emotional when i love somebody and i usually just end up being manipulated, and i dont give up on people easily i try my hardest to empathize with them and work it out.

Another toxic thing is i can be overprotective and possessive in relationships a bit😭

i love love gift giving and physical touch both giving and receiving and i like making my partner handmade gifts that take a lot of effort to show i care though i also like spending money on them

I find it cute when the person im with gets overly jealous but i would never purposely wanna make them feel that way, i know how it feels and they don't deserve that. I hate it when people make me jealous on purpose because they "like it". i love being pampered but ill never ask for it

the littlest thing a person i love would do for me makes me so happyyyyyyyy

(im sorry how fucking long this is whenever i start typing things i cant stop)

Hi! Thank you for your request! Sorry it took so long. I hope you like your matchup!

In Demon Slayer, I match you with...

Tanjiro is the best person for you to be around with your social anxiety. He’s a nice calm person and knows how to make people feel at ease.

Very good with physical touch as well. He’ll happily give you as many hugs as you want. I see Tanjiro as someone who likes physical affection as well so it’s a win-win for him.

Will get rid of wasps for you. He travels in nature a lot so he’s used to getting rid of bugs and assorted insects and feels that it’s the least he can do for you.

Please work out with him. Tanjiro’s shockingly strong and will always encourage you to do your best so you’ll get a good workout.

No need to worry about Tanjiro betraying your trust by doing anything like cheating. The thought has never even crossed his mind. He loves with his whole heart and would rather fight every demon at once than purposefully hurt those he cares about.

#writing #fanfic #matchup #matchup request #request #demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #tanjiro kamado

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