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bambi-kinos · 1 month

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After reading your view on John's treatment of Paul, I have to ask if you also have thougts on what happend between George and Paul during and after post Beatles. We know how they both treated him as the younger brother and how he tought they were to busy being John and Paul so they failed to see him though other artist saw him etc. We can also understand how he back away from John and Yoko. But what was his problems with Paul? Paul played on more George-Beatle songs than John did and George even played on John's solo record but said he would never play in a band with Paul again. Because there still seem to that he had another issue with Paul and there still seem to be tensions between them during the Anthology. Did Paul really deserved to be treated like that by both John and George. George went on a lot about his faith and spiritual seaching but not really lived up to it all the time. He played a lot about how unhappy he was in the Beatles and being famous buthe lived large with his cars and big house etc. I'm not defending Paul, well I do, but they both treated him so badly. Why, do you have any more ideas about that. Or what other artists, like ex Wings members etc who also complained about Paul's ways. I only ever see it as jealousy.

Legit had no idea how to answer this as George's dynamic with the rest of the band is opaque to me. I put the question to the McLennon server and they provided some very good answers, they have given me permission to copypaste it all here. I hope this helps Anon.

Note: I let the others talk and then I used Discord's "reply" function liberally to @ the different paragraphs. For tumblr I have rearranged the posts so that they read in order as full conversations instead of the weird mishmash that Discord produces. When you see weird timestamps, that is why.

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Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 11:00 AM received an interesting ask from an anon, its very long so i'm just copy pasting

ask

What do we think of this? my take is basically that George resented Paul because he replaced George with John and their relationship never recovered, which snowballed into these bigger issues about George's contributions to the Beatles and his growth as an artist.

I think it was amoralto who pointed out that Paul was safer for George to attack because Paul would forgive him whereas with John that wasn't the case. and yet George was able to cut John off later so what gives?

LocalGoblin — Yesterday at 1:43 PM I think there's a lot to this dynamic that we're not privvy too. What we do know, however, are things like how during the white album sessions, Paul was constantly undermining George's suggestions. I think it was George Martin who said that. We can even see it a bit in Get Back.

On top of that, even to this day, Paul calls George his little brother in interviews. He has always viewed George as the little kid of the group and that would feel incredibly patronising and demoralising. Paul is a lot more wired that John, and I think that personality trait is just something that George stuggles with. John is the 'cool/fun parent'.

I know John also viewed George as the little kid. And I think this hurt George less because 1. John WAS that older kid/parental figure for so long. 2. You can't take what John was as seriously because he changes his mind day-to-day. 3. I think George honestly (probably) secretly respected Paul's opinion more. So Paul's remarks hurt more.

John = The deadbeat Disney dad. Paul = The more serious and caring/overbearing parent You can see how he would grow to resent Paul more. And I think he also blamed Paul for the breakup too. Or at least, how messy all of that was and all the horrible legal issues that came with it

Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 2:06 PM this one hurts. oof. when I read about the break up in excerpts I get the feeling that George thought Paul's problem was the money and the business decisions and he didn't consider (or didn't want to consider) what was driving it emotionally….after all he felt like Paul didn't consider his feelings 😬

LocalGoblin — Yesterday at 1:52 PM Anthology is interesting though. I really think George's attitude in that it partly because he needed to do it. He needed the money. I don't think he really wanted to do it. It was Paul's baby, and he also resented him for that. Hated Paul for being more comfortable financially too. Paul didn't need to do anthology. George did.

Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 1:53 PM genius, you're absolutely right

Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 2:08 PM this was also around the time that Paul's sweet new deal with Capitol became a thing, i think, because Capitol offered like a significant profit increase for Paul on Beatles royalties if he signed his next few solo albums with them. That caused a lot of upset with George and Ringo iirc, so damn :(

LocalGoblin — Yesterday at 1:55 PM (Also, Paul in a few interviews, has said that he was on good terms with John when he died - UNLIKE George. Almost rubbing it in George's face. I know he doesn't mean it. But I would be incredibly upset by that in George's position. To be constantly reminded of that.)

I think its funny that Paul is viewed as the PR savvy Beatles cause he puts his foot in his mouth all the time haha That actually might be why he's more reserved in interviews now. Sticking to a script… Who knows!

Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 2:19 PM Ha, god, probably. Paul has his moments, there's a good 80s interview where he bemoaned Frank Sinatra attributing a George song to maccalennon, but he doesn't seem to have been humbled until the Heather Mills circus.

vanessaaa0388 — Yesterday at 1:57 PM In one of the AKOM podcasts they mentioned a George quote about how he was the closest beatle to John back when it was only them 2 taking LSD… it's my personal theory than in those months he almost felt like he was finally taking over Paul's spot in John's life…I dunno, I get very competitive vibes from George. In his mind he was competing for John with Paul. At least in certain points. And I think John took advantage of that.

Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 2:20 PM Absolutely. Reminds me of, ha, Paul when he said that John was their personal Elvis. They all wanted his attention and approval. I also wonder if George was seeking a mentor somewhere and if he thought John was it since they dropped together.

vanessaaa0388 — Yesterday at 2:01 PM It's very complex, the Paul-George dynamic

Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 2:02 PM Paul is the one who's always looking for a "project" and can't turn off, being with him must have been exhausting and then you add being talked down to all the time. whereas John can be fun and turn himself off and then maybe the sting of being talked down to isn't so bad. And like we saw in Get Back when John said "we need George Harrison" because he realized George was looking for reassurance, so he could also build George up when he felt like he should.

I guess with John its more like "lots of fun with a few pointed barbs thrown in" whereas with Paul he's steamrollering you constantly and will only occasionally throw in a compliment.

maybe since Paul is more consistent, it meant more to earn his respect? or something like that, like Vanessa pointed out George was competitive for John's approval and attention.

Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 2:12 PM there's this consistent theme with George and Paul where Paul's closeness with John seems to really hurt and damage George. And its not like he could let it go easily either because Paul was also his teammate, not just John's. It was a quad act, not a double.

I think George said that being outside Lennon/Mccartney meant observing Beatlemania as a fan instead of as a bandmate. So he's getting all the trouble but very few of the benefits. And then there's the royalty issues on top of that.

Like, Paul was George's friend first, but then Paul pulped that friendship pretty much immediately when he saw John and never felt like he should do anything to fix it. And then George gets pulled into Beatlemania and then there's money problems and then Brian died.

Brian was George's big advocate I noticed, setting up a newspaper column in George's name (ghostwritten by someone else) because he wanted George to be his own brand outside the Beatles and maccalennon, so when he died a lot of that probably went down the drain too.

Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 2:23 PM George seems to have been very lonely in the Beatles but due to all this:

I guess it was easier to shift some blame onto Paul. A lot of George's spiritual journey appears to be about wanting to escape like when he sings about wanting to see God but being frustrated at how long it will take him. Its real but it also seems like he was pretty weary of life by his mid20s.

LocalGoblin — Yesterday at 2:40 PM Yeah, you're so right. John was also the other Beatle who was more spiritually inclined. He was the only one besides George who was fully committed to the India trip. (At least for a time.) This was probably something they bonded over too.

There's also that quote… I can't remember what interview it's from. But George was asked what it was like being a Beatle and he says he doesn't really know. He always felt like he was on the outside looking in on Lennon/McCartney. It must've felt like a very lonely place.

vanessaaa0388 — Yesterday at 2:40 PM I'm fascinated by J&P but I give George a lot of credit for putting up with them both for so long. I would've cut them out of my life so fast 😂

Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 4:05 PM honestly they ruined George's life in some ways!

#mclennon server #beatles meta #my meta #john lennon #paul mccartney #george harrison #the beatles #talktalktalk

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twistedroseytoesy · 1 year

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Hey there can I please request the lions mane jellyfish the biggest jellyfish there is there only enemy is the turtles. For the octavinelle trio and liona please .

Thank you for the amazing visuals of these beautiful creatures! I’m also going to use some of my octonauts knowledge for these fellas too!

This jelly is fairly chill and very protective of those they deem under their care.

Description

Your mer form was very long. Despite the length, your torso and bell were fairly average. It was your long tentacles and "mane" that made you so impressive. Your translucent body only accentuated the beautiful ribbonlike mane that was under your bell for a few feet. Usually, you can find a few small fish friends of your darting through the ribbons, giving a gentle tickling sensation to you. You protected these fish happily. They would usually bring you trinkets and some snacks in return for the protection too. From the top of your head to the bottom of your long tentacles, you were about 30ft long. 23 of those feet being your mane and stingers.

Your human form has weirdly long arms and legs. you stand at 7 feet tall and have an arm reach of 8 feet. You have a fairly light skin tone and a beautiful "mane" of reddish-orange hair that seems to float around you. Your touch gives off a strong, almost painful "static-like" feeling. so usually, you wear gloves. You kinda drift through life happily enjoying some people's company and avoiding the more troublesome students when you can. Once you and some of the first years connected, you were always nearby and able to give a good stinging slap to any who would try to fight them. Even if those first years wanted a fight, You lightly zap them as a warning to try and avoid trouble. kinda the "parent" friend of the group of troublemakers.

Octavinelle

Azul: Finds you interesting. Like other merfolk on land, you seem to struggle a bit due to your height and abnormally long limbs. Care to make a deal to make those inconveniences go away? No? oh well. He somewhat envies how luxurious your hair is despite you saying you use nothing to tend to it other than a shower and a brush. Tries to get you to work at the lounge many times as a server since your long arms would be perfect for multiple trays and quickly cleaning tables. Somewhat envies how you become so protective of your friends and are willing to defend them at the drop of a hat. You became a bit of an issue during book three since you would usually just grab azuls shoulder and ask nicely for him to release your friends as you zap him through his clothing. after that whole incident, you were still fairly chill with him.

When he first saw your mer form he was rather impressed at your great size yet gentleness when it came to smaller fish that like to swim between your tentacles and through your mane. understood when you curled away from him to avoid hurting him, he appreciated it. You both bonded over some bullying issues of the past due to your many arms and "monstrous" looks compared to other mers. He asked a lot about your mane and what it was, if you could feel through it like with your tentacles, etc.

Overall he envies you a bit and tried many times to get you to work for him. He appreciates your rather calming presence compared to the twin's chaotic and dubious presence. Also, he gets a bit flattered when you start to protect him by hovering nearby and defending him.

Jade: Knew what you were pretty quickly. Just from observing and hearing rumors of your "static" touch and somewhat squishy and crazy flexible limbs. Also, your height is very unbalanced, to say the least. He's met other mers similar to you since he did go to the human training camp with Floyd and Azul. understands some of the struggles of being on land and will offer tips here and there, but many are misleading. Chuckles to himself when you hit your head or knock something over due to your odd proportions. Happily offers assistance in exchange for a favor or two. Usually uses these favors to test your stinging capabilities. Not as strong as other Jellyfish mers but still quite strong in your human form. tests your sweat and skin oils to see if they contain your stinging venom. Also loves to subtly threaten you and your friends, you always step in front of your friends to protect them. how cute~

The first time he saw your mer form he was impressed at the length of your arms and mane. when he joined you in the water he chuckled at how you tried your best to keep your stingers away from him. He assures you that the slime covering his body will protect him. Watches as you find some fish and allow them to swim safely through your mane. your translucent form and your carefree attitude were fun to mess with subtle threats. if he made any remarks toward the fish around you you would glare at him and purposefully move a tentacle his way.

Overall, he finds you interesting and fun to mess with here and there due to how protective you get over your friends. Uses your clumsiness to have you do favors for him.

Floyd: Why are you so tall?! You're so squishy! yet you stung him when he tried to squeeze you! it's like when his clothes shock him! when you did zap him he just laughed. Also noticed your very pretty hair and said it looked soft enough to bite into. Too bad he couldn't reach it... He called you lions mane jelly. Or lion jelly for short. knew you were a mer cause you were flexible like he and jade were! Laughs when you defend your friends from his scary gase and threats. disappointed when you don't squirm like the others do when he squeezes them. laughs and relates to you when you hit your head or knock something over. Will climb you sometimes when he's bored. He loves to play with your hair.

The first time he saw you in your mer form, he got so excited that he was right about you! happily swam between your tentacles and mane despite your trying to stay away from him to avoid stinging him. He just explains it takes a lot to get through his slime. Loves to chase after the little fishies that swim through your mane. Has gotten tangled with your long tentacles before. needed Jade's help to get you both unstuck. sometimes he tries to hide in your long mane, but he's just a bit too long for it. He cant really play or mess with you much other than with your tentacles, you're too slow to chase or push around.

Overall he likes your hair and how chill you are, which helps him be calm and happy too. likes to climb you and swim through your long limbs. Also finds your static-like stinging funny.

With A special guest!

Leona: Tch. He couldn't care less about you and your stupid friends. As long as you don't bother him he won't bother you. You both got along swimmingly though! (heh) Your chill personality and want to defend those around you helps with his naps, you keep others quiet around you to not disturb the lion-man and you're happy to just be around someone cool like him. He also laughs when you zap people around you with just your touch. Gives you a few tips here and there for classes you're struggling with if you study near him. calls you seafood. Eventually warms up to you and comments on your "mane" one day when you're trying to brush through it. corrects you and gives advice on proper mane care.

When he tolerates your presence you are basically friends now. Does order you around a bit but also gives you tips to bring out your potential. He can see how fierce and active you can get when it comes to your friends, and he appreciates that spark. Also defends you if others try to talk behind your back about your zapping ability. Other than that he still doesn't really care or give you any other special treatments. Might wave to you if you cross paths. Likes to nap near you due to how you keep things rather peaceful, also your chill vibe lulls him right to sleep.

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liliths-missing-pen · 1 year

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Idia With Yuu Who Wants To Learn How to Program Games

Not gonna lie this is a very self indulgent piece because my computer programming class is making me want to code but I also want to write 💀 This is my compromise here.

Notes/Warnings: Reader is Yuu, I am in the English server and wish to not know what happens in Book 6 till it comes out so artistic liberties will be taken. Also, Idia might seem a little ooc but when checking the wiki it says he gets excited and talkative when stuff he likes gets brought up so I took it and ran with it. Enjoy!

Masterlist

Before you came to Twisted Wonderland you already known how to code. Mostly just from camps that your family made you do or just out of general interest. Nonetheless you only knew the minimal to basic things, like HTML, CSS, a little bit of Javascript and Python as well C++. So to say the least there wasn’t that much you could do especially as a beginner. You’ve always seen video games or visual novels and wished you’d be able to do something like that one day but yet, you never got around to polishing skills or making yourself actually do anything to get yourself to that goal.

Jump skip to know that you are in Twisted Wonderland. You didn’t know much about this world at all, lots of things were different than your own world. The way things were done, school expectations, slang, magic. So to say, you just expected that anything you knew would be just thrown out the window one way or another. Once you met Idia though you felt more secure in your knowledge. Idia was someone who you can imagine to be the most normal in your world. He was one of those kids in your class at the back of the room, typically not speaking to anyone unless prompted. Now you may wonder, “How did the Ramshackle prefect become associated with the shut-in hermit?” Well like any other instance, Ortho.

Ortho was extremely persistent that once you expressed interest or made an off-handed comment that you knew some code and loved visual novel games, you should meet his brother. Honestly, the issue wasn’t to convince you, it was Idia that needed convincing.

Since it wasn't Idia who invited you to his dorm, he was flipping out when Ortho told him to expect you. He's heard about the notorious Ramshackle prefect who dealt with Overbolts even though they're magicless. He couldn't lie and say that he wasn't interested in you though. Not everyone was able to do that. He just wasn't sure if he could do this right now.

Once you did arrive, Ortho carried most of the conversation. Idia was trying his best to try to make conversation as well but he couldn't bring himself. It was hard to talk to a normie okay?!

Well, that's what he kept thinking after each of his failed attempts. Ortho knew what to do though, he knew his brother would have issues so he hacked into your Magicam account to learn more about you till he ran upon all the gaming and anime accounts you followed. He put to and to together and this was Ortho's plan to make you two talk normally. Once he mentioned a game he knew both you and Idia played it was the start of something great.

Idia's attitude towards you changed completely once you talked about video games and anything else he was into. Which dragged into how the game was coded and whatnot. Once you mentioned how you wanted to program your own game and your vision he was just like an over-excited child he ushered you over to his game, asking how much you knew about code and how fun it would be to create a game.

But basically, once he dragged you in it'll be very hard to leave. Your whole friendship with Idia from then on was built on the game y'all were creating together, anime and gaming. Not that you'd complain it was very to have Idia around. Just that you'd always have to start up the conversion since Idia will always second guess himself

Even once you two finish creating your game Idia would still keep you around. He'd even start being the one to invite you instead of just showing up! After helping you learn and sharpen your skills in programming by working on a game together, you'd start to help him out too! If you know anything about programming, especially C++ you know how picky it is with its writing. Whilst he's off typing quickly you start to point out to him certain things he's missing, like a semicolon on something that'll screw the whole code up.

Wholeheartedly once you make friends with Idiai from one of his special interests it's going to be hard to pull him away from you <3

#🐉 | lilith’s writing’s #idia shroud #twst idia #idia headcanons #idia x yuu #idia x y/n #idia fluff #twisted wonderland idia #idia x reader #idia hcs #idia drabble #idia #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland

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athena-writes-i-guess · 2 years

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Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader

Prompt: “Are you flirting with me?” “You finally noticed?”

“Y/N! You’re late again.” You heard your boss state as you punched in for your shift.

You rolled your eyes and shook your head lightly, “Sorry Jimmy, I had some car issues and had to have a friend bring me in today.” You said as you tied your apron around your waist. You were a server at Enzo’s, you had been for about a year now. The people were nice and the tips weren’t horrible, so overall it was a good place to work. But it was only helped by your coworkers, especially your favorite line cook.

“Hey there sweetheart! Was worried we weren’t going to see you tonight!” You heard Eddie call from his spot on the line, he was in a stained white cooks coat, his long hair was in a ponytail and shoved into a hat, and his dimpled smile was shining brightly as he looked at you.

You couldn’t stop the automatic smile that came to your face as you walked through the kitchen and past the line, “Nice to see you too Eddie.” You laughed as you passed.

“Oh you know it’s always wonderful to see you beautiful!” He called after you as you walked through the swinging doors out to the restaurant floor, you chuckled lightly at his words as the door swung shut behind you. You and Eddie had been classmates all through school, but had run in different circles so you hadn’t been friends, though you did think he was cute and funny from a far. You had no idea though, that he had been crushing on you hard that entire time.

You had missed all the longing glances in the hallways, the way his head shot to you when you would laugh at something he said in class, the missed attempts of him starting a conversation with you. You hadn’t noticed any of that and now that he was able to talk to you almost everyday, you played his words off as just being part of Eddie, not realizing it was deeper. Lots of cooks talk to you like that.

It was going to be a busy night, you realized as you saw the reservation book, Friday nights usually were. You looked at your section that was already filling up and got to work taking orders and started zipping around the restaurant to get diners what they needed.

You had a table waiting on their entrees when you went in the back kitchen to check on it. “Guys, how are my chicken parms coming along?” You called out to the line as you walked up to the station where the final plating happened.

“Got them right here for you, Y/N!” Eddie called out as he plopped the plates in front of you, sprinkling a little parsley on top to finish it.

“Thanks Eddie!” You chirped as you picked up the hot plates with some towels, sending him a small smile that he returned with a large one.

“Anything for you sweetheart!” He called after you as you walked out into the restaurant again, your smile widening at his words.

The night went like this until eventually there was enough of a lull for your 15 minute break, you grabbed a soda and headed through the kitchen and out through the back door where a lot of employees went to take their breaks. You sat down on the back steps and took a sip of your soda before you suddenly felt someone plop down next to you. Eddie smiled as he opened a pack of cigarettes and offered you one, nodding his head when you declined.

“Break time for you too?” You asked, looking over to him.

He smirked at your words and shook his head, “Not technically. I told the guys I need a quick smoke.”

“Why?” You questioned with a cock of your head.

“I saw you come out here, I wanted to talk to you.” He smiled softly at you.

“Why would you want to do that?” You wondered.

“I like talking to you.” He said simply, like that’s the only answer he needed. “And” he started with a grin, “I wanted to ask about that sweet little tatty I saw on your arm. That new, sweetheart?” He asked nodding his head to your arm where your first ever tattoo was peaking from under your sleeve.

“Yeah, got it a few days ago. You should have heard my mom when she saw it, she freaked out. Said I ‘ruined my body’.” You chuckled.

You watched Eddie wet his bottom lip before lightly biting it to hold back a large smile, “There’s no way you could ruin that body.” He said cheekily. You felt the heat rush to your cheeks and your heart beat speed up.

“Why, are you flirting with me, Eddie Munson?” You asked with a smile as you locked eyes with him.

“You finally noticed?” He shot back with a sly grin. “Have been for months.”

He watched as the shy smile pulled at your lips. “I guess I just thought that’s how you talked to everyone.”

“Nope. Only you.” He chuckled lightly. “I-uh- wanted to know, if maybe you wanted to go on a date with me sometime? Maybe catch a movie?” He asked hopefully.

It was your turn to bite your lip lightly as you tried to hold back the giant smile that wanted to appear on your face. Be cool Y/N. “I’d love that Eddie.” You said softly, leaning over to leave a soft kiss on his cheek.

“Great.” He said simply, trying not to show how over the moon he was.

A/N: as a former waitress I really wanted to write a work place one, hope you liked it ❤️

Taglist: @srapalestina

Masterlist

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hellfireconfessions · 4 months

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Princess Tarble's | aka "Hookfang" | Experience on HF Staff

Disclaimer!

I do not condone the harassment of Hellfire Staff, Old or New. And if you’re looking for anything you can use to shit talk people with please leave. This is just a Document with my experience. Thank you.

And to any HF Higher-Ups who know me. It isn’t a dig at y’all. It’s just me getting feelings out there.

I have a section on MODS as I was the main Staff Member pushing for MODS like Skins and Remodels to be allowed on the server. Just scroll down past the Promotions part.

Forcing Promotions:

The Hellfire Staff and Admin team was HIGHLY come and go. Like people joined and quit literally every single week, so the Higher-Ups were ALWAYS pushing for people to be Promoted. Most Mentors [Staff/Mintys/GreenBeans] were highly pressured into either getting promoted or dropping out of the Staff Team completely. If not directly then indirectly with the way we were passively treated.

I personally never wanted to be anything Higher than a Mentor. As it was honestly the perfect spot in the server staff team for me. Answering questions and interacting with the community was all I ever wanted to do. But the higher-ups at the time, mainly Kanna, would constantly remind us that we could get promoted.

By the time I left the Hellfire Staff team I was Mentor the oldest at like 6 months of being a Mentor.

I feel that people were promoted WAY too fast in the Staff Team.

I also was not a fan of Minors being on the Staff Team. I understand some kids may “seem mature” but I was not a fan of there being Minors who got on power trips because they were in spots higher-up than adults.

SCROLL DOWN FOR MY SECTION ON MODS

REMODELS On Hellfire Realism:

Most of the people who know me personally know that, at the same time I was a Staff Member on Hellfire I was also a Trial Admin/Admin on the Isle Legacy Modding Server OPEN DINOS.

So when Mods like Remodels, and Map Textures were starting to become REALLY REALLY popular in the Legacy Community I immediately started a Staff Suggestion thread where I would talk about adding mods to the server.

I don’t have any screenshots of the Thread as it was almost a year ago that it was made and I had left the Staff Team almost a year ago as well.

Phen was the main Higher-Up I was dealing with when it came to talking about Remodels and other Mods. And they had asked that I make lists of Remodels, that I felt should be allowed and not allowed on the server. So when I finished the Google Docs of the 3 lists I made (as I had some that were a lil iffy due to them being Species Replacements) immediately the lists started being picked apart and ruined. Everything that was not “accurate” or was deemed “too unnatural” was immediately thrown into not being allowed.

I had to fight for ages for them to allow Remodels into the server. The thread had been open and active for at least 2 or 3 months before the steps to actually allowing Remodels and the like would actually start to take action.

That was mainly due to them trying to get in contact with Isle Devs on the matter and was told we were gonna get a “Dev Blog on the issue” but to my knowledge that STILL hasn’t come. The only response on the matter I was able to find was from Anthomnia’s Server Isla Nycta where the Devs kinda just shrugged it off (surprisingly). Like there were some statements made that Dondi was all like “Don’t Mod MY game” and all that but since no actions were taken against Open Dinos or any of the other modding servers I’d assume Mods don’t care at this point.

But back to Hellfire Talk. —v

I had worked almost 4 to 5 months on trying to get Remodels allowed on Hellfire. And when the first announcement went through that a HUGE chunk of Community Favorite mods were not gonna be allowed on the server I was crushed. I had worked hard on the rules and suggestions for Mods. It was only after complete community backlash and the threat of Hellfire gonna shut down due to mods not being allowed that the Higher-Ups decided to go with the original stuff that I proposed.

Getting remodels allowed on Hellfire was a very sticky job for me that really drained my motivation to stay on the Staff Team and even active on the server as a whole. As it showed me the blatant favoritism that was within the Staff. Basically if you were anything below a Moderator or Admin your suggestions basically were ignored. And you had to fight for talking rights. They preached about treating Mentors with the same respect as other Staff to the community when they really didn’t themselves.

Basic Experience

The only thing that made being Staff on Hellfire fun was being able to get discounts on Injects and interacting with the community. Other than that they basically expected you to drop everything and only work on Hellfire.

Please do NOT harass Hellfire Staff. It doesn’t solve ANYTHING.

TY For telling me about Bigger Submit. I don’t use Tumblr much lol

#tarble #remodels

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screwtheprinceimtakingthehorse · 1 year

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Top of the Stack, Issue 26

Greetings friends,

just a quick hello from me before the month is out! February was rough in so many ways. I only posted a few updates on Twitter and kept folks up to date through the discord server, so if you’ve been wondering why I’ve been kinda quiet, here’s a sign of life!

I’m ok! My family’s been put through it this month, with first my godfather passing away, then my dad suffering a stroke just three weeks ago, and now my mum’s apartment being uninhabitable thanks to a broken heater that the landlord isn’t really fussed about repairing. In the middle of winter. There’s other stuff going on I won’t go into here, but these next few months will be eventful. Something something unprecedented times.

The good news: after three weeks in hospital, receiving genuinely excellent care, my dad is back home! He’s made a remarkable recovery. Thankfully, mum can stay with him while she looks for a new place to live — it means she’ll worry less, and he can help her with the paperwork. It’s very German of him, I think. Give a man paperwork to do and he learns to walk again.

I took a break from streaming and everything throughout all that because there was no way I could have even pretended to be a functional human being. My sister and I also both stayed with our mum for the first week after dad’s stroke, and every single day was so exhausting, emotionally and physically. As healing as it was to have all four of us together, and see how much it helped my parents to have us show up like that and be present, there’s still a cost to it. You’re running on survival mode — the three of us had to remind each other to eat, to drink enough, to take sit down — and at the same time there’s a want for normalcy. To enjoy the time together, to dig for another silly joke, another laugh. For my dad, it was a huge part of his early recovery: to know that this was not the end.

Once I came back home and things were looking so much better than the week before, I just let myself rest. I went back to work, but the remainder of the time, I played video games. I’d torn through Horizon Zero Dawn the first weekend to distract myself, and then it was straight on to Forbidden West. The right amount of game, at the right time. (I really mostly played it to turn my brain off, but it turns out I caught thoughts in spite of myself: there’s a blog and video essay coming about knowledge as an objective and theme in both games’ narratives.) I’ve slowed it down now, but I still sit down nearly every evening to play more. I can enjoy it for what it is, and playing it doesn’t bring anything back up. But it really helped.

Can a video game save a life? Yes. Without that distraction, my mind would have turned itself inside-out with grief. It is grief, even when you’re not (yet) bereaved. Only time will tell how we all process this. Thus far, the relief over my dad’s quick progress has bolstered us, I think. But there’ll be more to deal with, as there always is.

I’m back to streaming and making videos and writing now, after taking time to adjust to everyday life and recalibrate my energy. I did a recording session for Bioshock first; sort of as a practice run for to-camera stuff and interacting at least with an asynchronous audience. This gave me the added safety net of being able to just stop at any point without having to manage any (even positive!) reaction in the moment. That went well, however, so I felt confident in streaming again on Friday. I enjoy it so much, and I knew that taking a break was the right choice precisely when my feeling switched from being glad I had nothing on on a Friday night for a while to being excited to stream again.

Now we’re heading into March and I hope that it will be a kinder time for all of us. Be gentle with yourselves 💜

#life update #tw death #tw stroke #tw grief

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rippedstitch-s · 11 months

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ASA HOLLAND - PLOTS // TIMELINE // ART ARCHIVE

— BASICS

Name: Asa Holland Age / D.O.B.: 45, October 24, 1978 Gender, Pronouns & Sexuality: Cis man, he/him, gay Hometown: Swords, Ireland Affiliation: Syndicate Job position: Medic of the Syndicate, day job as an illustrator Education: Some medical schooling at University of London Relationship status: Single Children: None Positive traits: (5) Creative, Resourceful, Kind, Thoughtful, Witty Negative traits: (5) Vengeful, Awkward, Forgetful, Negative, Withdrawn

— BIOGRAPHY

Asa grew up in a small family home in a town on the outskirts of Dublin. Both parents were devoutly Catholic and the whole family walked to church multiple times a week. He worked summers helping clean up the little church-house in the valley and his father often pawned him off to ‘learn a hard day’s work’ at various places in town. Despite his father having plenty of money and working at a bank in the city, Asa was often treated like he had to provide for his family as well. He wanted to spend time with his siblings but it often fell on him to get a job first, to get his license, to get into college. There was immense pressure from his family at all times to be the model son.

He had always been introverted but starting in high school, he started to rebel, getting angry at his parents and lashing out at them. His father had just started a very high-profile job in the government and his 13 year old son was the least of his issues. Eventually, Asa was sent away to a home for ‘troubled teens’ and was essentially beaten into submission by orderlies and people who did not care about his wellbeing or his mental stability. He was treated like a problem, like an inmate in a prison at the age of 14 and was kept there for years due to his father’s negligence and lies. Saying after Asa came back for a short time once that he was still ‘acting up’. That they had failed and he would expose them if they didn’t forge documents to send Asa off to a mental institution.

Through it all, Asa was manipulated into thinking he was the problem. That he had done so much wrong that he was being punished, and would continue to be for the rest of his life- tormented by the Devil. Because of his father’s lies, he was in and out of a few psychiatric facilities, given experimental (and illegal) medical treatments, and treated as insane. His father was a constant terrifying presence in his life, always finding a new place to send him off to in Ireland, Wales, and London.

Asa changed the course of his fate when one day his father pushed him too far- after another heated argument and further tries at manipulating him to go back to an in-patient facility, Asa bludgeoned his father to death with a hammer- something he’d wanted to do since he’d been sent off to rot in the abusive facilities he’d spent his adolescence in. He was lucky- his dad never spoke about his son to others due to his immense disappointment, so Asa fleeing to the U.S. was done as covertly as possible. He was a murderer.

After moving to the US, he began to work various odd jobs as a sort of loner. He did art- something he’d loved to do throughout his time in and out of facilities, and would take server jobs, desk jobs, data entry- anything that would pay the bills. But eventually, he came upon the Syndicate, and his medical knowledge came in handy. After helping stop the bleeding of a man shot in an alleyway, Asa was called on a few times for his expertise- both because he knew what he was doing, and because he had to keep a low profile himself. He was paid handsomely for his work and was able to keep himself doing the thing he loved- illustrating and painting. He’s a bit withdrawn and quiet, awkward with making friends. But he’s tried, especially lately, to reach out to people and make friends and colleagues. This has also given him reason to spend more time with members of the Syndicate, realizing he’s pretty much part of a gang now.

— WANTED CONNECTIONS / PLOTS

-One night stands, ex-lovers, hook-ups, flings -Unlikely friends that contrast his shy & sometimes boring demeanor -Drinking buddies -Folks who know about his father’s mysterious death -Someone who watches his 5 cats when he’s away -Fans of his illustration work -Unlikely rivals turned friends (turned... lovers??) -Extended family on his mother’s side

#about #intro #asaintro #wb.intro #ahhhh hi!

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spiral2005 · 11 months

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#vent under the cut. sorry for the mental illness but i've gotten TOO much of it i need to voice my pain to the internet now

so these past two or so weeks my cookie game fixation came back. kind of. i don't play the games anymore (i did actually try and pick them back up recently but 1. i get bored of mobile games really fast and 2. i don't really want to support the company anymore. because they're lame), but an irl friend started talking to me about it and specifically wanted to like draw some of the characters and i was like "yeah i'll tag along." so i did draw some of those characters. and it made my mental health worse LOL

i lot of the issues i have with cookie game don't really come from the game itself, really? it definitely has it's problems and again i don't actively engage with the games anymore but a lot of the character designs are genuinely really good. i've tried stealing some of them and putting them into their own stories multiple times but i've always given up mainly because of the reason i'm going to get into

my main issue is that the cookie game fandom is lame. like big time. and i don't really know how to put it into exact words and i don't really like admitting it but it definitely fucked me up a little mentally. it was the first online fandom i joined when i became old enough to actually do things online, plus i joined it during the lockdown so i was at home for a significantly longer time than usual and was able to be active in the fandom more. i had joined a server with a group of decently notable people in it who were friendly towards me and it made me feel genuinely really nice, as someone who was treated poorly by a lot of people who i considered myself to be "close" to before.

but also, like i said, it was the first time i was really interacting with strangers on the internet, so i didn't really have the proper, like, "online etiquette" instilled in my brain yet. so i started to act really irrational and passive aggressive towards this group of people once i started to believe they "didn't really like me anymore." it got bad to the point where the group of people stopped talking to me altogether. and, like, i don't have a problem with that in it of itself; i do look back at how i acted towards that group and recognize "yeah. i was being a dick." but also at the time it felt extremely sudden. i believe one of the people in this group tried to tell me what i was doing wrong beforehand but it was in a really vauge and awkward way that i couldn't really understand. and a lot of the "problematic" things i was doing were also like, me genuinely trying to get along with them? like i would watch this group of people make jokingly teasing remarks about each other constantly and when i would try and do the same i guess it failed and came off as genuine rudeness a lot of the time. i was trying really hard to get this group of people who i were friends with to "like me again" but i was young and it came off as rude and selfish instead.

i think at this point that i've grown as a person from my days as a young cookie game fan. i try to be compassionate to people online and try not to overstep my boundaries and things of the like. but me fucking up my first ever attempt still kind of haunts me to this day. even with people i'm close with in real life, i am constantly wondering whether or not i'm coming off as too mean and i'm secretly hurting the people around me. even at the smallest hint of dissatisfaction towards me, i immediately start worrying about what i might have done wrong, and if said person is going to completely block me out of their life the next day without me knowing what i did in the first place. i have a lot of people in my life right now who i know care about me, and i'm genuinely really thankful for that, but i know that i have the capacity in me to change someone's mind about that, and that's scary to me.

i got to a point where i wasn't being reminded of this as often, but now that cookie game has been a thing i've been thinking about my old "friend group" is also eventually going to come up. in all honestly, i don't really want closure from any of them. a lot of the (rightfully) do not care about cookie game anymore, and the ones that do make me a little uncomfortable for other reasons, but nonetheless, i still feel bad that i made a group of people older than me hate me by being too #entitledminorcore around them. there's a lot of other intricacies to my current mental state that tie back to my old fandom days in some shape or form, but i don't want to share too much on the internet. i just want to share a little. so i hopefully stop thinking about it.

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mintmatcha · 3 years

Text

quickie - dabi X hero!reader

Dabi x cis!fem reader

CW: public sex, voyeurism, standing sex, doll as a nickname, praise

a/n: thanks to shan’s discover server for dealing with my bullshit creating this <3

"We can't keep doing this."

The figure, leaned against the graffitied brick of a building, tosses back his hood as he takes another drag from his cigarette. The black of his hair, streaked with the occasional red, shines under the streetlamp. His burns are worse than the last time you’ve seen him, stretching from his face to his knuckles.

"You say that everytime." Dabi drops the cigarette butt and crushes it under the heel of his boot. "But you always come anyway."

You scuff your heel against the concrete, listening to how it echoes down the empty street. The dive bar you two stand in front of long ago cleared, all of the patrons disappearing into the night.

Maybe heading home. Most likely not.

You should be heading home too.

"I'm only here because you asked me to be here." you ask cooly, forcing your eyes to stay glued to your phone. You don't look away until his tight grip clutches your shoulder. Against the chill of the night, his touch is comforting.

"Don't play coy." he scoffs, "I never asked you to be here, little hero."

You flinch at the nickname, checking your surroundings once again. Being recognized as a hero would mean trouble in this neighborhood. You already clearly don't belong; you had dressed nicely for a date- a date with another hero, someone good for you-

only to abandon him the moment this asshole texted you.

"I just told you I was bored," Dabi smirks, the stitches at the corners of his mouth pulling as he eyes you up, "And you decided to entertain me, apparently."

You wish your heart wasn't beating out of your chest. You're not quite sure what it was about him- maybe the danger, maybe daddy issues, maybe the horrifying idea that you genuinely cared about him, maybe something entirely different- but you were wrapped around his fingers.

And he is well aware of it.

He hooks a finger under the strap of your dress and pulls it down and off your shoulder with a languid pace, eyes tracing over the exposed skin. "I like this. Kinda fancy, kinda skimpy-" His tongue runs over the edge of one of his incisors, his piercing catching the low light. "It's like you're asking for trouble."

You just shrug. "Maybe I am looking for trouble."

"I told you to stop playing coy." His hand cups your chin, dragging it up to look at him directly. His gaze is dark, hungry, and more than a little dangerous. "Are you here to get dicked down or what?"

You try to sound nonchalant, but your voice is high and tight in your throat. “If that’s what you want, I guess.”

“Aw, come on now, lil hero. Don’t pretend to be a brat." he grins, pulling your head higher, “Lemme hear you say it. Tell me you came here to get fucked."

“I-” you hesitate.

“Come on, say it.” he takes your hand in his and, for a second, it's sweet- but then he guides it down to the front of his pants, cupping you over his crotch to feel the beginning of his excitement. "Say you wanna get fucked."

You swallow, and then gently squeeze his cock. "I want you to have sex with me."

"Nuh-uh. That's not what I said." he leans into you, lips brushing against yours, blue eyes never leaving yours, "Say you want me to fuck you."

"I want you to fuck me."

“Aw, dirty girl.” he purrs, "What would everyone think? The perfect sidekick, begging for a villain's cock?"

He closes the gap and catches the plush of your lip between his teeth- hard. You gasp and he doesn't waste the opportunity; his tongue finds yours, rushed and messy.

The kiss breaks, a string of spit connecting your lips for a microsecond. "Turn around."

Before you can react, Dabi's hand grips your forearm and twists it behind you, forcing you against the wall. The prickle of the brick digs into your cheek, but you can't focus on the pain- only the heat of his hands: one holding you still, the over sliding up your skirt.

"H-here?" you whisper, but don't resist. "Someone could see."

"Yeah-" his chuckle is low, "That's the fun part."

He's quick to flip the fabric up and over your ass, exposing your lacy panties to the night air. His palms your ass and shakes it, eyes glued to how it shakes and quivers under his touch.

"Very sexy." he coos almost mockingly, pulling the elastic of your panties so taut that it digs into your skin. You flinch when it snaps back, further pressing yourself into the wall, and Dabi laughs.

"Aw, sensitive little thing, aren'tcha?" he grinds against you, the rough fabric of his jeans doing nothing to hide the swell of his cock. It rubs between your ass cheeks, the friction of demin already burning. The only respite in the cool metal of his studded belt, smooth and slick against you.

"Are you sure you can handle this, baby?" he tugs you closer by the bicep, arching your back until your head falls back. Like this, he looks down at you, a wolfish grin on his face. "I'd be so sad if I broke you."

"No, you wouldn't-" your free arm slides down his front, thumb dipping into the waistband and fingers rolling over the buckle.

"Yeah, you're right." he helps you unclasp the buckle, the gentle tinkling the only sound that echoes down the empty street. It hits you then that, despite the late hour, someone could approach at any moment and catch you being fucked by a wanted criminal.

The scrape of denim is replaced by hot, smooth skin and a tickle of his happy trail. Dabi lets the weight of his cock fall against your folds and a warm trickle of precum grazes your cheek. The night only seems to be getting colder, but the latent heat of Dabi's skin only seems to build.

"Fuck--" he ruts up against you unexpectedly, "You're fucking dripping-" You can feel his cock sliding against you, the wetness of your arousal letting him easily slip between your thighs. The head of his cock ghosts near your clit, not nearly the pressure you need. "God, maybe I'll just fuck you like this-"

A whine escapes your throat before you can tamp it down.

"Oh, don’t be a brat.” he pulls back, “I’ll make sure you get what you need.”

He digs into his pocket and pulls out a gold foil packet, flashing it to you. You two agreed on protection since the first hook up- your insistence. He quickly rips into it with his teeth and rolls the condom down, barely covering his length before he pushes against your entrance, his fat head easily popping inside despite the stretch. You expect him to fully bury himself in one stroke, like he always does, but he stays there inside you, his cock barely past the petals of your pussy. Impatiently, you wiggle back against him, desperate for more, but he braces against you.

"Slow down, now-" he clicks his tongue before pressing a surprisingly soft kiss into your temple. Then, he shoves you forward again, face smushed into the rocky brick. "Lemme enjoy this properly."

You teeter on your high heels, legs already shaking as he finally rolls his hips forward inch by inch. Under his breath, he mutters so low that you can't understand him, but you catch clippings of praise and curses.

His pace is unusually slow, letting you savor the fullness of his whole cock before he pulls back to the tip. His breath is uncomfortably warm against the back of your neck. The scent of ash and tobacco that clings to him makes your stomach turn, but you can't help but want more of it- more of him.

The hand of your hip, unnaturally warm, almost burning, slips around to the front of the panties, dipping into the fabric to trace supply circles around your clit. It's nice- soft and gentle-

but you don't fuck Dabi to be gentle.

With your free hand, you push against the wall, forcing him to sink into you, hard. "Fucking hell-" he chokes out a groan as you start bucking against him. He uses your forearm as leverage, pulling and pushing down his length faster and faster. "That's it-- bounce like that- oh, good girl-"

Your voice, pathetic and lewd, fills the stress, but Dabi does nothing to muffle it. Of course he doesn't- he likes the risk. He wants to be caught, wants people to see him splitting you in half. Anyone even remotely close would be able to hear the wet, sloppy sound of your pussy, but you can't find it in yourself to care.

Once you get the rhythm he wants, Dabi releases your arm and grabs on to the front of your dress, palming your tits through the fabric greedily. It's rough, almost bruising, squishing you solely for his pleasure.

"So soft," he breathes. After a moment, he decides the fondling isn't enough and wraps his fingers under the hem, digging into the fat of your chest. With a firm tug, he snaps the remaining strap, freeing one of your tits into the cool night air. You don't even have time to shiver before his hand takes it place against you.

Dabi always runs warm, but something about sex- albeit the desire or the physical contact- makes him hot. The stroke of his hands, the lips across your shoulder blade, the dip of his stomach against your back- all of them leave ghosts, trails of goosebumps where heat used to be.

Even through the condom, his cock radiates heat deep inside your cunt, twitching and pulsing with every stroke. His fingertips never leave their mark, rolling your clit steadily.

"Y-you gonna cum for me?" he says through his teeth, "Gonna let me f-feel it? Let me make you feel good? Oh, such a good girl for me--"

The pressure on your clit all at once becomes too much and you cum, knees wobbling and threatening to give out. Your pace threatens to falter, but Dabi muscles through it for you.

Dabi's lips find your neck, right below your jaw. A flick of the tongue is followed by the sharp pain of his teeth digging into the soft spot. Overstimulation hits your quickly, your pussy twitching every stroke.

"'Is too much." you hiccup, reaching behind you blindly. You manage to caress his face, the staples warm and wet with his sweat. He nuzzles into the hand, a surprisingly sweet gesture.

"Just- just take it." he growls. The pace is suddenly lopsided, the rhythm gone as he starts to cum.

The gentle pulsing of his cock is immediately followed by pooling warmth. No, warmth is an understatement. It's hot, almost unbearably. You keen away from him, but he stays locked against you.

"G-get off," you hiccup, "You're t-too hot."

"You're not so bad yourself, doll." He withdrawals and quickly peels the condom off, tossing it to the side. He spins you around, running a thumb under your eye. Flecks of mascara and eyeliner stick to his skin. "Especially like this." he gestures to you as a whole. Running makeup, ripped dress, quivering legs, your own cum glossing your thighs- you look destroyed.

"You should walk around like this all the time." Dabi wipes his stomach with his shirt, haphazardly smearing the wetness more than cleaning it, before redoing his buckle. He takes his time, clearly not concerned about being exposed. "On second thought- nah. Just wear this for me."

You shimmy your dress down, trying to cover your ass as quickly as possible. "You're disgusting."��

He throws his head back and laughs. "You didn't seem to think so a couple minutes ago."

"Fuck you."

Dabi shakes a cigarette free from the carton and sticks it between his teeth. "Aw, doll-" he dots the tip with his finger and it alights, deep orange against the dark of the night. "You just did."

#dabi x reader #dabi smut #mha smut #dabi #touya smut #minors do not interact #hotstuff

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unforth · 3 years

Text

What I think a lot of antis misunderstand about the message of someone like me - as someone outspokenly pro-ship and pro-kink is...

Everyone is within their right to want to protect themselves from content that makes them uncomfortable! If you're a minor, and you don't want adults to interact with you? That's a reasonable boundary to set! Boundaries, in general, are usually healthy, appropriate, and even necessary (not always, of course, but most of the time!). Heck, I am pro-basically-everything, but I still set boundaries, and there's lots of content I support the existence of without ever having any desire to interact with myself. Like. Ever. EVER. You do you but I'll be over here, having nothing to do with it, thanks. I'm anti-censorship, and pro-fiction-is-fiction, period.

So, when people like me roll our eyes and go, "God, why are all these people making ridiculous DNIs? Don't they know how pointless this is?" we're not saying "Don't set boundaries."

You absolutely should set boundaries, for your mental health, comfort, and protection.

We're saying - okay, well, maybe I shouldn't speak for everyone - but, I'm saying, "why are people who only feel comfortable within such narrow boundaries on a website like Tumblr?"

This is the fucking anti-boundaries website! It has reblogging functions you CAN'T TURN OFF. The instant your post leaves your blog? You lose all control over it! Even if you delete the original, you can NEVER get rid of those reblogs! So if you don't want certain types of people interacting with you? Short of hard-wiring that information into the very nature of the post (like, as an enormous watermark that covers your entire piece of artwork) you will never, on Tumblr, be able to set your boundaries, enforce those boundaries, and have them respected.

It's impossible, and it's not because everyone on Tumblr is selfish, or mean, or disrespecting you personally. It has absolutely nothing to do with you! The vast majority of Tumblr users see something they like - and like it for any of a million or more different reasons - and then reblog it without every considering the existence of the original poster beyond MAYBE noticing their username at the top of the post.

They won't check your DNI.

They won't know your squicks.

They won't remember your triggers.

Tumblr is not, nor will it ever be, a safe space.

You cannot, and will never be able to, control the behavior of the Tumblr userbase in the interest of protecting your own personal limits.

It is impossible to set and maintain personal boundaries on Tumblr.

People who say, "god, why do people have these DNIs" aren't saying, "you should be comfortable with everything and if you're not how DARE you," we're saying, "there is a fundamental mis-match between your desire to set boundaries, on the one hand, and the social media platform you've chosen, on the other."

There ARE platforms where it's possible to set boundaries. Discord, Pillowfort, Wordpress, even Facebook, have more functionality for any given individual regulating who interacts with created content and how they can interact.

THIS IS NOT THAT PLATFORM.

If you want to be able to strictly police your boundaries, you are in the wrong fucking place. Anything you post on here, could, at any time, wildly escape containment, get taken entirely out of context, end up on the blog of a domme, or a furry, or a parent, or your grandmother, or, or, or.

If you want to have strict control of your content, your blog, and who you interact with?

You should not be on Tumblr.

You are just setting yourself up to get hurt...and then you blame everyone else when it happens, even though the issue is the mis-match caused by your decision to be on a website that is a total free-for all. YOU CHOSE TO BE HERE, and then you get mad...at the people already here...for not conforming to your expectations. That's a YOU problem, not an everyone else problem. It's like you barged into a Pride parade and went, "Wait why are all these queer people here? And why is there a Parade? I'd rather just hang out with my own friends in a much smaller event CALL OF THE PARADE I DON'T LIKE IT." You sound like a child, and an idiot. Congrats, there are clowns at the circus, what a shock! If you didn't want the queers, if you didn't want the clowns, if you didn't want strangers interacting with you, if you wanted to set and maintain boundaries, then you failed the instant you came on Tumblr. Tumblr is not a website designed for this. End of story.

Have safe spaces. Set boundaries. I encourage you. Heck, I beg you. Having places you feel safe and surrounding yourself with people who respect your boundaries is stupidly important, no matter how young or old you are, how vanilla or kink, how anti- or pro-ship. But it cannot be done it here, and the expectation that it CAN is what so often leads people who are actually behaving like bullies to believe themselves to be victims.

So, like, if this describes you? If you want strict boundaries, and to have certain types of people not interact with you?

The best thing you can do is leave Tumblr, and find your communities elsewhere.

I promise, everyone will be happier if you do.

(and before you say, "but all the things I want are also on Tumblr!" it is...so stupidly easy to make a message board, or create a Discord server. I'm not saying don't have fandom spaces that suit you! I'm not saying you don't belong in fandom! On the contrary, PLEASE do things that bring you joy - but do it in a way you're comfortable with! You're entitled! You deserve it! And you will never be able to here! EVER. This is NOT that space, and you and those who feel as you do should create your own. For your OWN safety, first and foremost, because you deserve a space where your boundaries are respected. And you can't here. This website is explicitly designed to prevent bloggers from being able to protect their boundaries! Expecting your boundaries to be expected here is like going to a field of wildflowers and saying, "ONLY queen anne's lace here all other flowers DNI" and being shocked and personally offended when there'sother flowers all over the fucking place. You can't control what flowers are in the field. Tumblr is a field of weeds and they will grow like crazy, everywhere, no matter what you try to do to stop them. Because that's Tumblr's nature. So STOP TRYING. Go somewhere that you CAN prevent that, and tada, you'll be safe!)

#unforth rambles #i saw something that made me salty #and ended up spending 20 minutes writing this instead of doing any of the billion things i should be doing #antis are herbicide in the tumblr wildflower field #if you don't want weeds get out of the meadow #go some place where you actually CAN control the growth #pot a plant #put it by your window #cultivate it and protect it #you'll be happier #and you'll be safer #and so will all the weeds you cut down for absolutely no fucking reason #i'm so tired #ya'll can reblog this is you want #if it leads antis to me then i'll deal #if i'm lucky they'll just block me #if i'm super lucky maybe they'll even fucking listen #and stop expecting rain to be snow #or the wild flowers to stop growing #you came to the circus and shock there are clowns here

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tobi-smp · 2 years

Note

Can you drop some hot takes about DSMP? I'm bored and your analyses/takes interest me a lot. You don't have to ofc

the single biggest contributor to misinformation and mischaracterization in this fandom is accessibility of older content.

most streamers have an issue with preserving their older streams, which means the earliest parts of their characters and lore can be lost to time. but even beyond that it can be difficult to know which streams are relevant to the plot or to characterization. when it isn't clearly marked relevant content can be buried over hundreds upon thousands of hours of casual content. people only have so much time and energy to spend and trying to wrap their heads around all of the content that came before can end up pushing people away from the dream smp or putting it off.

if this isn't a major part of why the server has shifted to event lore over improv lore then it's at least an example of an advantage to that switch. everybody knows where ranboo's doomsday vod is looking through the list, but would a new fan know where he found the chest with tommy's disc inside?

titles are important, preservation is important, accessibility is important. imagine if streamers uploaded all of their vods and made playlists for all of the character significant ones, or even just the most important ones for new fans to understand their character. it'd still be a lot to manage but it'd be much easier for new fans to get a handle on characters and events that they weren't there to see live.

technoblade is one of the most accessible to a lot of new fans both because he uploads all of his content on his main channel and because he doesn't like to log on Unless he's doing something important or character relevant. this makes it easier both to commit to watching all of his dsmp content (just because there's Less of it) and to feel like you're progressing as someone trying to catch up to current lore. but of course this comes at the price of techno's perspective being very closed, which his character missing major lore events across the server and not having a good grasp on what characters even in his direct sphere of influence are experiencing (even phil).

someone like tommy comes second for making all of his content immediately accessible on his vods channel (which is Excellent for preservation but you have to know to search for it to find it), but also having the problem of not always being able to differentiate majorly plot or character relevant streams from casual streams. for instance, someone trying to get into his character from scratch may be tempted to skip to l’manberg’s creation because they don’t know what before is relevant to his character or even that it Is relevant.

and then there’s dream apologists, who just make up dream lore for because he doesn’t stream anymore and trying to hunt down all of his appearances in Other People’s streams is a difficult to impossible task for a new fan just trying to get a hold of his character and the lore.

#dream smp #meta #technoblade #tommyinnit #dunno if this is exactly what you were looking for but it's 5 am and this is what my brain spit out

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bakugohoex · 3 years

Text

“you come here often then?” “well considering i work here, yes”

pairing: satoru gojo x female reader

cw: fluff and language

word count: 2100+

information: the great conjunction collab masterlist by @suna-reversed

a/n: ugh yeah have fun reading this, it’s probably crap because i waffled a bit and made gojo become an idiot

summary: in which gojo can’t help but have an infatuation with you as soon as he sees you through the glass window of a restaurant, now finally meeting you he can’t help but become an unaware teenager in front of you

↞ back to jujutsu kaisen masterlist

Gojo would hate to admit it but seeing the way you swerved past the customers at the restaurant was a dance in his eyes. The way you easily carried three plates on your arms and still had a calm and collected face. Even if he was a powerful jujutsu sorcerer the ability you had to still chat to people even when you were on your knees picking up the glass one of the customers happened to drop infatuated the man.

It wasn’t like he was busy, Yuji, Nobara and Megumi had decided to go out into the city and being the responsible adult he was he tagged along. Even if he had no idea where the three had gone, he had better things to watch as he stared through the window, any person inside would have noticed him. He was almost gawking but the way they either dismissed his wide mouth or genuinely couldn’t see him was an issue they could handle.

He continued watching you speak to the customers, the black blouse hugging your form as you took another order. The restaurant seemed busy, even if it was the lunch rush, the way you easily handled it with that perfect pretty smile. How could Gojo not stare at you, with those bright eyes that filled him with a passion he hadn’t felt in a long time. Maybe it was stupid to go in, to ask for your number, he was a Jujutsu Sorcerer for one thing but the fact he didn’t even know your name would make it seem creepy.

He stook to watching through the window, occasionally going on his phone to not cause any disruption with his clear blue gaze at your form. He looked up watching how you continued to skim past customers, talk to the customers, even cooing at the babies.

Hearing a loud crash behind him, he turned to be met with the three delinquents, the three-looking confused at why Gojo had been standing all doe eyed. “What’s wrong with him?” Megumi muttered.

“He always looks like that?” Yuji was barely concentrating as some shop nearby had caught his eye.

Nobara understood where he had been looking, could see that he had seen something he wanted. Her eyes went to the restaurant seeing your form taking plates away from an empty table. “He has a crush.” Her voice was loud as the two boys whipped their heads to give a confused look, Nobara pointed through the window as both her and Yuji went straight up to the glass staring right at you.

“Get away from the window.” Gojo spoke, grabbing their collars as he pulled them away from the window. “I don’t have a crush, that’s not my thing.”

“Sure, sure.” Yuji laughed as Gojo was clearly flushed from the way his ears became red and how his voice cracked as he tried to form words.

Megumi rolled his eyes as he spoke out loud, “leave him alone, even if he did have a crush that’s not our business, and it’s not like anybody would go for him.”

Gojo turned to face Megumi with his eyebrows raised, Megumi’s tone had been calm and without any malice but the way Nobara and Yuji laughed at the comment made Gojo roll his eyes. “I liked it when you weren't here.”

They dismissed his comment as they decided to head back home, Gojo gave one more look back through the wide window. The way you move your finger to brush your hair behind your head talked with the customers. You’d just be another woman who he had never gotten the chance to speak to, another woman who probably had a life that didn’t need the disruption of sorcerers and curses.

Turning back around he walked behind them, hands in his pocket as they all hurried back to the Jujutsu High.

It had been a week since he had seen you through the window of the restaurant, the three had been sent on a mission on their own as Gojo had found himself stuck inside after the incidents had occurred. Finding boredom through texting Nanami irritable messages, he got a reply he never expected from the blond, a meeting place for lunch.

It was highly unusual for Nanami to ask for something but whatever the issue was Gojo would be there without a second question. His eyes fixated on the address which sounded so familiar, he didn’t realise where he was until he stared directly at the restaurant. The restaurant you worked out, it had to be a coincidence. It couldn’t be that Nanami knew from Nobara or the others clearly wanted to have a conversation with you.

But just as he walked through the doors, the gold bell ringing, your head beamed from the doors of the kitchen watching to see who it was. The restaurant was empty as the lunch rush had finished and the only one’s left were regulars or the mysterious white-haired man.

He walked straight to one of your tables as he went to the blond, “Y/n, I don’t pay you to talk all day.” The manager said as you rolled your eyes laughing, you shook your head as you grabbed your apron staring at the two men.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m going.” You muttered as he shook his head, even if you brought in a lot of customers and got the highest paid tips he questioned how you had gotten the job in the first place.

You walked straight to the table, a happy smile on your face as you undid your pen and flipped the notepad open. “Hi, I’m Y/n, I’ll be your server today, can I get you any drinks to start off with?”

Gojo eyes stayed fixated on your form as you gave the two men a happy look, “coffee.” Nanami spoke as the two of you turned to face the white-haired man.

“Not…nothing.” You nodded as Gojo had paused at how close you were to him, you stared back at them as you wrote the single drink down.

“And can I get you any starters?”

You barely looked up at them as Nanami spoke out some food items Gojo couldn’t comprehend, after scribbling it down you looked up. “Always the hungry one aren’t we Nanami.”

Gojo’s face fell as he stared at Nanami who rolled his eyes, you giving a chuckle as Nanami rolled his eyes at your antics. “Gojo meet Y/n Y/l/n, Y/n meet Satoru Gojo, she’s a friend and he…”

“Was the guy staring at me last week through the window.” You interrupted as Gojo didn’t look up through his sunglasses, you could see a spec of blue come through and he looked different from last week but still the handsome guy your customers had noticed gawking at you.

“You were doing what?” Nanami questioned as you laughed at the blond staring daggers at his friend.

Gojo leaned back on his chair as he tried to replace his embarrassment with another emotion, “I wasn’t staring.”

“My customers called it gawking.” You laughed once more before beginning the walk back to get the two men food.

Gojo’s eyes stayed fixated on your form as you left to grab the food, Nanami clicking his fingers in front of the man's face. He couldn’t help but stare at your form, how pretty you looked in full view, how you laughed off his clear gawking at you and how he knew you had a pretty name to match your pretty face.

“How do you know her?” Gojo spoke after you had gone into the kitchen, Nanami raising an eyebrow before replying.

“Before I became a Jujutsu Sorcerer again, I met her here and we became friends…I do have friends, Gojo.” He muttered as he stared at the menu and what he wanted to eat.

Gojo didn’t bother staring at the menu as all he wanted to do was become friends with you, he thought you were perfect. The way you laughed was even perfect but most importantly if you could handle Nanami he would be able to get along with you easily.

“She gets people handing her numbers every day, you can’t just give her your number.” Nanami hinted as he did want to see you happy and if it meant a date with Gojo then who was he to judge.

Nanami had only picked this place after you had spoken of the weird white-haired man who had been surrounded by three teenagers wearing blue uniforms. In an instant Nanami knew who you were talking about he couldn’t help but see how Gojo would react to seeing you once again.

You came back with the food as Nanami leant back grabbing the food as he wanted to see how Gojo would ask for your number. Gojo had one thing in his mind, and it was how pretty you looked, he barely even knew you but the urge to get to know you succumbed him.

All he had to ask was for your number, that was ask for your number and he could start something with you. But the words that formed out of his mouth was not what either Nanami or you expected.

“You come here often then?”

You let out a laugh as Gojo couldn’t dare look at you, he felt like a child in front of you and Nanami was enjoying all of it. “Well considering I work here, yes.”

Gojo knew he had lost his chance as you laughed once more before walking away to go to your other tables. “That was unexpected.”

“This is your fault; I would’ve never said it if you hadn’t told me she rejects every guy who asks her out.”

“I never said that.” Nanami spoke nonchalantly as he continued to play with the food.

It seemed like the rest of the lunch was going to be awkward as you hurriedly passed their main meal before going to another table. Nanami spoke of Yuji’s progress as Gojo was barely listening, staring off into the distance. It seemed like he had ruined any chance to ever get to know you, rolling his eyes as the two of them finished their meals.

“If there’s anything else you two need just ask, but i'll bring you the receipt.” You smiled at the two before leaving once more, never to chat or make conversation just making simple cordial comments before hurrying away to grab drinks for another table.

Nanami stood up as he stretched sorting his tie out as he looked at Gojo, “It’s on you.”

He didn’t say anything else as he walked out of the restaurant giving a nod goodbye to you as you had turned to see Gojo on his own. You couldn’t help but laugh at the way Gojo’s mouth had turned downwards in anger as you passed the receipt to him.

He was cute enough and funny from what you had gathered from Nanami. His awkwardness or most likely staleness from not flirting in a while had been cute. You bit your lip questioning if you should do it, but you grabbed your notepad as you wrote down a time and place on it. Slipping it inside you walked over placing it to the side of Gojo as you gave a smile before leaving.

His eyes went down as he opened the booklet, grabbing the receipt and seeing the cost, already cursing out Nanami. Grabbing some cash he slipped it inside before he noticed the note, seeing a time and place, he turned to see you staring at him from the register.

“Really?” He mouthed as you chuckled at him.

Walking closer as you wanted to talk to him properly, “really? I can’t let an attractive guy who can’t help stare at me, walk away from me?”

He chuckled lightly as he leaned back, glasses on the bridge of his nose as you saw his crystal blue eyes. The passion and lust felt through his warm gaze as he smiled at you, “you saying I’m attractive.”

You lean forward having taken Nanami’s seat, “I guess I am.” He leans forward himself, faces a mere inch from each other as you give a light chuckle. Feeling your warm breath fan against his face, “if you’re even a second late then I will get Nanami to beat you up.”

“You wound me.” He laughs as you roll your eyes at his comment, “I would never be late for a pretty girl.”

You give one last smile before standing up with a happy glee, he watches you take the money as he takes the note. He couldn’t help but not stare at your form as he stood outside the window once more, the way you worked with customers with such love for them all. You noticed him staring as you turned to the window smiling once more.

You had acknowledged him and that was all that he had ever wanted since last week. Waving a goodbye, you waved back as he finally walked away from the store. Ready for a whole new world with you at the centre of it.

i’d really appreciate if you guys could leave a like, reblog or comment, thanks x

if you guys want to be a part of a tag list, just fill out the form in my navigation or send an ask and i’ll add you xx

@decayz @daifukuchii @virasshaf @peachysimp @peterspizzashirt @lvrkuroo @prettycutebunny @n0baraa @instantnuma @heartbroken-princess @samusimp @alaina-rose13 @crispychannie @underratedmage @cathy8taffy @moonlightaangel @kat-sukis-hoe @effmigentlywithachainsaw @swankiifiied @maat-the-prescriptive @kuroos-world @levisfilm @katsuhera @answer-the-sirens @animexholic @wapbenders @the-shota-king-masayuki @bakugousmrs @fandomsinthegalaxies @dai-tsukki-desu @crystal-lilac @crimsonbows-and-arrows @admin-in-residence @otterlockholmes @gabrann @zlatanakermann @c0urtn3y @bakuhoesworld @halloweeniebicth @jaegerswifey

#satoru gojo x y/n #satoru gojo #satoru gojo x reader #satoru gojo fluff #fluff #gojo satoru #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x y/n #gojo satoru fluff #jujustu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x y/n #jjk #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen fluff #sorcery fight #sorcery fight x reader #satoru x reader #gojo x reader

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ruby-whistler · 3 years

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the difference between static and dynamic characters on the dream smp

Hi, hello, it's Ruby, back with another PSA because this fandom (specifically the people on Twitter) keeps getting worse.

/dsmp /rp

Recently, people started claiming c!Techno was boring because he never had any character development.

Now, this may come as a surprise to some of you, but if you in any capacity decide to study the ins and outs of creative writing, you'd learn that characters don't need to have character development to be compelling, loved by the audience, and have a complex personality.

This is what is called a static character. Not to be confused with flat characters. What's the difference?

Most articles seem to agree on this;

"Static characters should not be confused or mixed up with flat, one-dimensional characters. Though neither changes as the story progresses, if a character remains unchanged, it does not mean that he is one-dimensional like a flat character. A static character can be perfectly interesting, like Sherlock Holmes, who is completely ingenious, eccentric, and sometimes jerky. He never changes, but the audience still loves him. Thus, a static character could be the protagonist too, and a flat character, on the other hand, only plays a side role in the story." - ( link to definition )

Static characters are ones that don't experience any personal growth during the span of the story. They're often used in writing, because they're realistic and can be interesting if well-written. This article provides examples such as the aforementioned Sherlock Holmes, Captain America from The Avengers, and TommyInnit from the Drea- [gunshots]

But in all seriousness, c!Tommy is very easily a static character; a lot of the criticism of his character is about the fact that he doesn't change. He does gain experience and new relationships, he does suffer and becomes more and more traumatized, he does make choices out of impulse or emotion, but none of that is character development - he never overcomes his character flaws, including selfishness, stubbornness, and a lack of compassion or empathy for others. And I do not blame him for it as a person, and I do not consider him a badly-written character, even if he's a little frustrating to watch sometimes.

c!Tommy has two main reasons why he remains a static character.

a) he doesn't live in a constructive environment

It is normal for boys Tommy's age to be low on empathy. It's completely normal for them to be chaotic, immature pricks, because that is part of their growth. All of this would be just fine if c!Tommy was growing up in a highschool; however, he in actuality grew up on a land ruled by politics, wars and conflict.

I do not like using the age excuse, because I do not believe it makes his bad choices any more justified, but it's easy to realize why him being in such a position could stunt his personal growth.

At that age, you need guidance, whether it be from teachers, parents, or whatever other figures you're able to find around you. Usually, it is not difficult to find good people to look up to in today's world, but for c!Tommy, that isn't true.

In the pre-L'Manberg, post-Tommy era, there was moderate peace. Yes, there were conflicts, but none of them were damaging in the long term for anyone involved, and they were chaotic scuffles more than fights of ideals.

Once c!Wilbur came along, c!Tommy latched onto him. We all know how that went.

None of the adults Tommy had looked up to were in any capacity helpful to him growing or becoming a better person. He helped lead a revolution to help Wilbur gain power, he was lead to help Wilbur lead and unfair election, and witnessed the breakdown of the man he trusted shortly after. He was subjected to emotional manipulation by Dream, and then came to the wrong person for help. None of these things are reasons for positive change.

b) it's his major character flaw

Even in the few chances he had at genuine change, at forgiveness, at letting go, all provided by the environment or people around him, he didn't take them. Tommy doesn't like change, he fights it, and that is why he always loses. He doesn't want to change for the better, and he despises himself when he changes for the worse.

He looks for peace in a lack of activity, growth, or development. He searches for happiness in not letting go of the past, but hanging onto it for dear life, terrified that the people around him might change because he doesn't want to. And that is why, as long as he keeps this mindset, he'll never find it.

While other characters, such as Tubbo, Dream, Wilbur or Quackity seek to change the world around them, for the better or the worse, to rewind or to progress, and are willing to change themselves accordingly, Tommy does the opposite, because his biggest fear is people drifting apart and leaving him behind.

Let's get back to the point, then; what makes Technoblade a static character, and a good one at that?

His motivation is simple; he is a lawful character who sticks to his morals through thick and thin, follows a strict inner code, and is loyal to people above all.

On top of that, he is given no reason to change his morals.

No one's arguments against c!Techno have ever made much sense, let's be honest, and ever since he'd entered the server, Techno's been proven right over and over and over again.

He saw Wilbur face the consequences of having power over other people and then losing it, seeing the influence of corruption on the man he worked with. He was forced by the government to kill another person, to kill an ally, to kill an innocent. He was betrayed and used by the Pogtopian revolution, which knowingly kept things from Techno and fought to seize power, rather than destroy it. He was unfairly executed without a trial by corrupt politicians just absolutely demolishing the Geneva convention, holy crap people call Techno a war criminal, just in that one stream New L'Manberg commited so many war crimes-

Point stands that people say one thing and then do the other. Talk of freedom and then force people to do things (and no, forcing people not to force other people to do things doesn't count nor does it make Techno a hypocrite, get a better argument). Techno was never manipulated or swayed to someone's side against his ideals because he's not a man of words; he believes in what he sees, not what people tell him, especially since he's been repeatedly lied to.

That is the first thing a good static character needs; a strong motivation. Through everything that's happened, I'd say without a doubt that Technoblade has the strongest motivation out of everyone, which is to emancipate people from the tyranny of their rulers - not just sing about it and then establish a dictatorship - but to in fact do it, no matter the cost.

He's a very Paragon-type character, which is a common type of static; his moral code is too strong to allow emotional change.

Another thing a static character needs is personality. And Techno - if you watch his streams, not just others' perspectives - has a lot of that. From his bond with Phil and Ranboo to fondness of animals to sense of humour, the character is entertaining to watch and follow. You know what to expect of him, you know he won't betray, and that despite the flaws he has he will not let personal issues hold him back. He wins because he trains, and he puts hours into pulling crazy stunts, and he's persistent - it's satisfying for the people watching his perspective to see his efforts pay off.

His interactions with others are characterized by an attempt at kindness, no matter how many times he might fail at separating his personal life from the ideals he's pursuing.

And that is compelling! To draw parallels to Tommy again, the kid has so much personality that other characters could borrow from him and he'd still be fun to watch!

Neither Tommy nor Techno are flat characters, and I think that is the mistake a lot of people make when misinterpreting both the characters; Tommy and Techno are amazing examples of great static characters in fiction, and I'd like to applaud cc!Tommy and cc!Techno for being brilliant writers.

#dream smp #c!techno #c!tommy #dsmp analysis #c!techno analysis #c!tommy analysis #tommyinnit #technoblade #writing #dsmp fandom critical #long post under cut

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dodo-begone · 3 years

Text

Now Listen Here Sad Bitches - Stop Being Sad

Pairing: Yan!Xisuma x Reader (idk if it's rlly yan tbh)

Request: If you’re up to it can I get yandere nHo hcs? Bc I’m desperate for nHo content, But if you don’t know enough about the nHo boys can you do a continuation of your yandere xisuma fic? bc it was really good👀

Word count: 5k words

Warning: Falling, Depression, Death, Yandere (?)(just a bit posessive/protective at the end), Bit of confusion/memory loss, Mention of Running Away

This is a Part 2 to Ugly Fuckling

If this EVER looks funky or glitched, here's a link to it on Ao3.

_______________________________________________________

A methodical ticking echoes around the room, the only indicator that time was passing. The room was nearly a blinding black, yet a ray of moonlight made its way into the room. From that, you were able to see Xisuma. Without his helmet covering his face, he looked much more welcoming and soft. It wasn’t like he wasn’t soft and welcoming anyways, he just looked so much softer and approachable. A real person - man what were you even thinking?

Mentally shaking off that train of thought, you let your mind wander onto a different topic. Since Xisuma stopped you from following through with your impulsive decision to leave, he hadn’t exactly let you out of his sight. A few of your activities were free from his supervision, but otherwise you were with him.

At first you felt like an absolute bother to him, but his insistence that it was all fine made things better. Minimally better, if you were to speak honestly. It didn’t alleviate your feelings at all. He was being so nice and attentive to you and your needs. And what were you doing with that? You were being the little debbie downer that you are and not getting better. Come on, this was all for you. That meant you had to get better for him since he was putting so much effort into making you get better.

He made you all of your favorite foods, cuddled you any time even a tear fell from your eyes, asked about what was worrying or saddening you and trying to talk you through it to feel better, and so much more. All around it was everything you needed, really it was. Everything was getting better, yet you weren’t.

This had been going on for days, and you were still thinking of leaving. Though technically you did. Maybe the entire server moved with you. Maybe that fact could be ignored. Maybe. Everyone gathered up and went to a new server not too long after your most recent “escape” attempt. You weren’t sure if it was the unsaid yearly move to a new season or what, but it seemed a little too convenient if you thought about it. But thinking was a laborious and bothersome task. So no thoughts - only depression. Yea, that’s how things rolled for you.

The thought of leaving was far from leaving your mind. It was always on the backburner, but became a prominent thought whenever you weren’t with anybody. Especially Xisuma. Voices whispered to feed your insecurities, giving a source for your depression to grow off of. And boy was it growing. Adding in this new move made you question a bit more.

You knew you wanted to leave the server because of how icky, disgusting and disappointing you were, but now you were truly realizing where the issue lay. Wel, you knew before, but it just became more evident. It wasn’t the server itself. The issue lay between you and the hermits. So that feeling of not belonging? Still rather prominent. Even with their fresh new start where everyone had the same resources, said “resources” were nonexistent since everyone started with nothing, it was rather evident you still didn’t belong.

Grian was the only one who didn’t build a “starter house” immediately. That made two hermits you knew who didn’t make a starter house. The two hermits being you and Grian, so that made you feel better. Until you found out the reason he didn’t make a house was because he went to defeat the Ender Dragon and get loot from end cities. Yea that really didn’t make you feel better. And these “starter” builds the others made were no joke. They weren’t even starters, in your opinion. These were whole builds in and of themselves. Like things you’d be building late game, if you even got around to making anything that could compare.

Once again, your mind cemented that you were very alien to this group. Alongside the “new fodder” that you had, which was really recycled thoughts, memories, or insecurities, you started to cry. Stifling your sobs without being able to cover your mouth with your hands is a very hard task. All remaining strength you had went into calming your breath and being as silent as possible. You still allowed the tears to continue their route down your cheeks with no intent to stop them. If you only allow tears to flow with no noise, you can get your emotions out while not bothering Xisuma. A win-win.

Time was illusive, slipping through your hands like sand. One moment you were crying next to Xisuma in bed then a blink later you were waking up in an empty bed. The ever annoying sun was flaunting its energy and jovial beams into the room and blinding you with it. Man, how you envied the sun. It was able to get up every day and do its duty. And not even the duty it was exactly made for. One that it conveniently worked with. A necessity to life.

Still, you layed in bed. Too lethargic to move on your own; there was no will or energy to move. Well, there was one reason; you wanted to search for Xisuma. Where could he have gone off to? He wasn’t in the bed. Somewhere else in the house? Out on a project? Who knows. The likelihood of him being gone was high and that, along with the thoughts, kept you in the bed.

The day passed. Maybe you slept. You were still very tired and very sad, so it really made no difference in the end if you did actually sleep sometime that day since nothing changed. Snuggling into the blankets for warmth and comfort, you awaited for Xisuma’s return. Though you don’t remember him saying that he was going anywhere in particular yesterday. Did he? Memories blurred together and multiple days became one mushed memory. Many memories of him mentioning future projects to you or other things came to mind. How recent were those? Mulling over your memories, you tried to pinpoint when they happened based on some other memories. You referred to them as your “time reference memories”... They had a different name, but the name eludes you. But that was their purpose, so that name shall stay.

Soon a plethora of other memories came to mind as you quickly sorted through them. So they obviously didn’t take place in the same time area-frame thingy as when you joined the Hermitcraft server. That was months ago- clearly off the table. Then did they happen around the time you were building the trash on the server? Also a big no- that’s way too early. Oh dear- all the memories that were popping up were far too early. Crap- think. Think, think, think. Come on, more recent. What about when you tried to leave? Well it happened after that, but much closer.

A flash of memories pass behind your eyes yet you can’t decipher all of them. It was obviously some memories and you could faintly see some things, but it was all a blur of colors. You didn’t have the time for this right now. After you figure this out, you could reminisce on them. Now you had to figure out which memory out of the blob you had was most recent-

Staring at the ceiling did nothing to help. No new spark of memories came up, even with your mind scrambling for any scrap it could get its little grubby hands on. Great- now you were stuck going off of his appearance and what the house looked like during those times. Now the dilemma was “which came first”. Almost every memory took place in the house.

Wait! He didn’t have the diamond armor in all of them! Only two of them had diamond armor involved. Specifically on Xisuma. You didn’t have anything on this new server. Well, compared to him or any other hermit, anyways. To say you were behind or “lagging” was an understatement. Having iron armour isn’t really a flex. Especially when it goes missing. Like who just up and loses armor like that? You do, apparently.

That isn’t the point. Stay focused! So he had armor, what did the house look like? Or anything outside the window?

Finally a lightbulb went off in your mind. Of course! He talked about a fire last time. Yes, you were sure of you. Not sure why but you were very sure of that fact. He mentioned that some gravel on a mountain was on fire and he wasn’t sure why. Then he talked about a building in the next memory… Everything was starting to add up! Oh you felt so smart right now. So good.

So what mountain did he say he was going to? It was a villager hall, right? Or was it the future place for a build… No, villager hall because he mentioned villagers and trading. Obviously not another build. But what if it was? Now you were conflicted because you were so sure but at the same time doubt pranced around your mind obnoxiously. Your anxiety was getting ticked off more.

First the disappearance of Xisuma and now your worries are getting to you? Really, it was the opposite order. More of an Oreo, but that wasn’t important.

Taking a deep breath, you try to get your thoughts under control again. Regain you cool. Alright. If you find Xisuma then you can calm everything else down. That was your biggest worry right now. The longer you didn’t know Xisuma’s location and condition, the worse your mental state became. From there, it was obvious how everything would decline.

All you had to do was go to Xisuma. Right. Go to Xisuma. Who is outside. Out of the bed. Debating on whether or not to leave the comforting confines of the blankets or search for Xisuama was definitely something. It was hard but also wasn’t all at the same time. Because yes, staying in bed and being warm would be amazing. The preferred option. But you were worried about the lack of Xisuma’s presence. That took precedence over comfort.

Grumbling, you slowly start to drag yourself out of bed. More accurately rolling out and only turning to properly get out of bed and onto your feet. Same end result really. Slowly, as to not cause a dizzy spell, you get up and walk toward the door. Said dizzy spell still hits you like a baseball gets hit by a bat, but there was an attempt. Black overtakes your vision for a second before everything goes back to normal. Boy you didn’t miss those pounding headaches with dizzy spells. Damn vertigo.

Shaking your head, you steady yourself for the journey to the outside. It was going to be perilous. Well not really, but your mind tried to come up with the worse case scenarios. Like some Dream SMP members coming for you to drag you back. Or pillagers near or at the front door. Or some other nasty mob. Oh the possibilities were nearly endless. But you had to do this.

Hyping yourself up, you mentally prepare for what you could think of. Aka prepare for something bad like pain. To be fair, pain would be better than a Dream SMP member but pain still hurts.

A noise of annoyance leaves your lips as you once again try to get yourself back on track. You hated how easily distracted you got sometimes. Though it did help in some situations. Admitting to that wouldn’t be too helpful in any regard so back to ignoring it you go.

Soon you’re back on track and continuing your journey. The only thing standing between you and the outside world stared at you. The front door. It wouldn’t be for long. All you had to do was open it and then start the other leg of your journey and- wait.

The door greeted your face with a nice hearty slam as you walked right into it. Confusion was just written all over your face. You grabbed the knob, did you not? Taking a step back, you peer down. Low and behold, you were holding the door knob. Your brows furrowed as you twisted the knob. Nothing happened. Trying with more strength and vigor or whatever might do something? Maybe it’s just stuck. Unlikely but hey! Delusions are much sweeter and easier to swallow. Plus being more violent with an inanimate object makes it work! Usually, anyways. Beat a banana and you get mush so not always. That’s besides the point because the darn door still refused to open. Huffing, you try being a little harder with the door. Though that leads to nothing but you fearing it breaking. One creak escapes the poor door and you’re off of it like a puppy squealed rather than a door.

Anxiety started to bloom in your chest for the uptenth time or whatever. It’s happened a lot and that’s all that matters. Deep breaths. In and out. In and out. It’s just a door. If it breaks it can be replaced. Also it’s a door. It’s probably fine. Though you didn’t exactly want to test that. Who knows when the door is going to just say “nope! I’m done” and just break?

Leaning against the door, you slide to the floor as you think of another plan to leave. The door was locked, right? This is a brand new door we’re talking about. Rust couldn’t have shut it already, right? You were by the sea though so who knew what the salt and water was doing to it. That ruins doors, wood, and mentals, right? If only you were a builder or someone more fluent with stuff like this. Someone who knew how stuff like that worked. Because wow, you were beyond dumb on that subject.

You curl up in defeat. Bringing your knees to your face, you wrap your arms around them to secure them. To feel safer and smaller. Block out the world. All you wanted to do was stay there, just like that. Not that exact position, but you want to feel comforted and safe. A craving for belonging and love. Although something you craved, whenever it was just handed to you or offered, you turned it down. Nobody actually likes you. They just want to use you.

Everyone has used you in the past for something.

Tears started to form in your eyes. As you lift your head from the curl, you take a deep breath. This is annoying, tiring. Crying is useless right now. Nothing is going to be fixed this way.

As you subdued the tears, you looked around the house again. There had to be another exit, right? Maybe. Half of the houses you’ve lived in only had one entrance or exit. The other half either had a secret exit or another doorway. This wasn’t one of the latter, though. It was one of the former; you were only informed of one way to exit or enter the house. Xisuma didn’t mention any emergency escape. Well there weren’t any holes in the house besides that- OH WAIT!

Smacking your forehead, you scramble to your feet and look directly at the closest window. If it had the ability to, it’d probably be sweating out of fear or anxiety. Either or, that window wasn’t going to have a good time. Fortunately for you, though, the window couldn’t judge you. And the window is very easy to climb out of.

Walking closer for inspection, it didn’t seem like it’d be too hard to open. Just flick a latch or two and just lift the bottom. You’re home free after that. The latches weren’t an issue. Grabbing the bottom of the glass, you silently pray that it won’t be as stubborn as the door.

Some deity was feeling nice today because the window opened without much trouble. A little elbow grease but that was a small price to pay. Now started the awkward maneuvering to get outside. This was one thing you didn’t miss from your past.

First a leg, then the other, and slide later, you land ungraceful into the outside world. Either you were going to land on your face or bum and you didn’t want any of that. So instead you did a nice little dance.

Okay so dance would be the fun way of stating it. What happened was you stumbled around for a bit, waving your arms around in a desperate attempt to regain balance. But you get to stay on your feet, so the trade off of your dignity was well worth it. Plus nobody was around to see it.

Once balanced, you were in awe of the builds that were just a wall away. How much has changed since you last came out? How long were you inside? You only remember the comically tall portal and the partial build of the portal tower being around when you came. Besides the starting house and a few other small things, of course. But now there were two completed towers. The dark one was obviously the portal tower because of the color scheme. What was the other than? It was colored like a lighthouse with the red and white bands encompassing it, but you didn’t want to say anything definitely. After all, it was somewhat hard to tell.

The coloration indicated a lighthouse, along with the silhouette, but it looked a bit too artistically done. And when something is artistically done, it could be anything. So you’ll call it tower two! Tower two was rather pretty!

Xisuma wasn’t around though. Right. The mountain wasn't around here, was it? Where was it, anyways? It must’ve been pretty far away.

With the prospects of a long walk ahead of you, your shoulders slump. Dear lord, this was more work than you wanted to go through. Who knows how far it is! But it wasn’t just some walking for fun, it had a purpose.

Gathering your remaining energy and grit, you start the laborious, long, and treacherous journey through the continent for Xisuma. Hiking wasn’t your strong suit and keeping an eye out for Xisuma too? This makes everything so much harder.

You were only able to get off the island and back onto the mainland, where you started to scale the mountain before you heard a ruckus. Progressively, it got louder and more discernible. Yelling. Sounded like words. Gibberish, but it slowly grew clearer.

“Oh my gosh,” danced with the wind by your ears. “Oh no.” A cry of your name, or something really similar. Were those words? Those couldn’t be words, right? Whipping your head around, you see Xisuma running your way frantically. Okay, so those were most definitely words if the scene before you proved anything.

Excited, you start your descent back to the ground. Step by step. Is it step by step when you’re climbing? Your focus is on Xisuma. Pretty much entirely. It really shouldn’t have as you misjudge the next step. In the blink of an eye you went from viewing rock to viewing sky and a scary feeling building in your chest. The feeling grew exponentially and it didn’t take a genius to know what was going on.

A scream ripped its way from your chest as it tightened more. Said scream doesn’t last long for it ended as quickly as it came. No air could move, no noise could come out any more. Air was stuck in your throat, unable to reach your lungs. Fear paralyzed your muscles, eyes shut for there was no difference in the view. Everything was blurred and the black was more welcoming and comforting.

Too fast. Time wasn’t even a consideration. A social construct thrown out the window as soon as your fingers lose contact with the rocks.

The ground had to be near by now. It felt like hours passed now, but at the same time everything seemed to be zipping by.

Contact is made, and you expect it to be the end. You grunt as all remaining air is forced from your body. Another noise came from beneath you. Gasping for air, panic made you feel so cold. Is this what death felt like? No air was coming in and you definitely hit the ground. Were you going to die because you slipped up?

Black was encompassing your vision once again. Frantic attempts to regain air were barely rewarded for your lungs remained mostly empty. Everything still felt paralized, but now your chest felt worse. It hurt so much.

Something was moving beneath you. Pink entered your failing vision. It shifted you around, moving your head and body. More accurately, it moved. Your head was placed on a soft surface while your body was on something else.

Slowly your vision ebbed back to reality. Or you did. Everything still felt wonky. But an axolotl helmet came to greet you. That was a nice thing about your vision clearing, you guessed. Pretty pink axolotl.

“Are you okay,” the axolotl shakily asks. It’s hands were shaking and it sounded masculine.

“Yea,” your voice felt and sounded weird. Very airy, frail, and kinda delirious. You know, the “I don't feel right” type of delirious. Is that delirious? Oh wait you were talking! “Yea i’m good.”

“Are you sure,” the axolotl keeps persisting. It seemed to be looking over you for any injuries. How nice of it! “Double sure? Triple sure? No scrapes? Nothing hurts?”

“I’m absolutely sure,” you assure. Man this was a comfy place and you wanted to stay here longer, but you need to get standing. With shaky arms and legs, you unsteadily get up, stumbling or leaning a bit too much at times. The axolotl panics and helps you to your feet, never letting go afterwards. You thank it for its help and try to walk away, back to Xisuma’s house. Though it assists you, staying by your side as if it were attached with cement.

“You need to stop doing stuff like this,” it begs, leading you by the elbow. “It’s like everytime i’m gone, you purposely go get yourself into trouble, get hurt, or try to leave. I don’t get it. Why do you keep doing it?”

To say you were confused would be an understatement. What’s it even talking about?

Suddenly a thought hits you like lighting and everything starts to line up. This is literally Xisuma. How did you forget that? He changes skins with every new season. Wow you either hit your head, panicked and forgot every important detail ever, or you really needed the oxygen for those brain cells because they finally got what they needed to function.

“Sorry,” you really are sorry. For half of those things, if not almost all of them. If you were simply allowed to go back to the Dream smp in peace, you would be completely fine. Not a bother to the hermits, not a walking hazard to society, and you wouldn’t feel inadequate anymore… Actually that wouldn’t go away no matter where you went or what you did. “I didn’t mean for any of that to happen.”

Xisuma doesn’t reply to your words and you start to panic again. “You weren’t in the house and I got really anxious, okay? I didn’t remember where you said you were going and I just… I needed a hug. I know that sounds stupid or childish, but i wasn’t feeling good. And you said that if I needed something, I'd just have to go to you. Oh who am i kidding, this was the dumbest thing ever. I’m so so sorry for bothering you-” Tears started to well up in your eyes, blurring your vision entirely. You were thankful that you weren’t walking alone while like this. Who knew what else you’d get yourself hurt on.

Not only were your words stopped, but your whole body was too. Jerked back by Xisuma, your teary eyes look directly at his visor which only reflects back your pitiful face. Though you don’t see it for long as you’re pulled into a hug by Xisuma. This only causes you to cry harder.

“Hey hey hey,” Xisuma’s voice is a low murmur, a comforting rumble from his chest. “It’s okay. It’s alright. Did I not tell you where I was going before I left?”

Shaking your head, a tiny “no” escapes you between sobs. Xisuma just hugs you tighter and you snuggle closer. That’s if you can, but you still try.

“Oh i’m so sorry,” he starts to pat and rub your back in a comforting manner, repeatedly apologizing for forgetting to tell you. And other things. Though you can’t exactly tell what they are through your sobbing.

It takes ages for you to calm down. You don’t really have much to go off of, besides the sun. What was once a noon sun glaring down on you was a peaceful sunset over the ocean. When you finish crying, only shaky breaths and tear stains remain to show off the previous crying fit. That and the red eyes.

The sunset is pretty, so you focus on that. Positioning your face to not have it smooshed into Xisuma’s chestplate was a struggle since he was holding you so tightly. But you managed. Soon your face wasn’t full on smooshed into his chest plate, only the side. Your cheek was definitely doing that pancake thing which smooshes out like a flat tire.

Everything’s so peaceful and quiet. Only the waves and sea life disturb it, but it made a great background noise. Xisuma soon adds to everything with some light humming. Rumbling from the chest is so comforting. Why was it such a forgettable yet amazing thing? It felt so nice.

With the humming came some rocking. Going side to side, humming a nonsensical tune. Not long after, you join in as well. Yours was definitely less consistently though, for it was broken up but little giggles. The longer you two went on, the more you giggled.

His arms unwrap themselves and you feel disappointed and saddened by the loss. You needn’t wait for long though, as on both sides of your body, you suddenly feel a tingly sensation. Bursting out into laughter, you try to struggle away from the tickle attack Xisuma has launched on you. But he’s relentless, keeping up with your retreat. It’s only when you’re out of breath, on the ground, and playfully yelling your surrender at him, that he stops.

You two start to calm down again. Laughter slowly ebbed away to chuckles or silence. Not an uncomfortable or awkward silence by any means. A safe and comforting one.

“Come on,” Xisuma prompts, getting up from the crouched position he had to be in for his attack, giving out his hand when he was properly on his feet. “Let’s get home before mobs start to spawn.” You’re more than happy to take his hands. With a pull, you’re brought back to your feet. But you two don’t let go of each other’s hands.

Together you two finish the trek home, and rather quickly too. With the sun setting, it was just a matter of minutes before danger would appear. Luckily you two made it to safety without any issues. The beginning area Xisuma had set up was well lit, safe from the dark and the dangers it harbors.

Being back in the base area made you feel more at peace, calmer, less endangered. Whatever you wanted to say, but you felt safer. And everything looked so pretty at night! You really need to come out more with Xisuma. Staring in awe at the builds in a different light, you and Xisuma dawdle on home.

Everything was perfect again. Just like before. You were happy, Xisuma was happy, what else could you need.

Xisuma walks ahead of you to unlock the front door, to which you say a little “thank you” out of habit and slip on by him and into the house. You do mean it, but still, it’s a habit drilled into you.

After getting back into the house, with some idle chit-chat, you start to get things fixed up in the house. Some dinner was in order for the two of you. After all, you just tried to climb a mountain to find Xisuma and who knows if Xisuma actually ate today. Plus you haven't had anything to eat yet. Whoops.

Leaving Xisuma to his own devices, you continue your conversation as you prepare a meal.

You don’t notice him locking the door and windows, or the dark look he has when he sees the window open, or him putting the keys in his pocket after locking all of the other windows. When he doesn’t reply immediately, though, you turn toward the last direction you heard him from, only to reveal an empty house. Perplexed, you look around a bit, but are stopped by a tap on your shoulder.

Jumping, you whirl around to see Xisuma without his helmet on, chuckling at your reaction. Laughing along with him, you give him a nudge with your hip. He returns it, laughing harder when you’re bumped away from him. This goes on for a while as you cook dinner, with Xisuma helping you.

The night goes on like this. Full of gentle, playful antics and a loving atmosphere. The love you felt was immense. You hadn’t felt happier in months.

Xisuma hasn’t been so scared in months either.

He should’ve secured the house better. Made sure you were fine before he left. Locked the windows before he left.

Now he knows to lock windows. You’d try to use them in the future. Better a situation where you went looking for him than you leaving him. But now he knew.

And all was good again.

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