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fortheloveoffanfic · 3 years

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Stepdaddy

Keanu Reeves x Reader (A/n- Its here and now I lowkey wanna write more of this)

Summary- Caught in a lustful attraction, Keanu and his soon to be step daughter, fall victim to their desire. *OFC (Y/n) is over 18. (I beg you, please don’t kill me.)

Warnings- NSFW/SMUT, daddy kink, semi-public sex, infidelity (please just read the title and summary), age gap

Keanu knew it was wrong, with every fiber in his being, from the depths of his experienced mind all the way down to the very tips of his toes, he knew for certain, it was wrong. But he couldn't help himself, for though he’d prided himself on having a strict moral code, he was, at the base of it, a man. A man who could appreciate a gorgeous woman when he saw one. If only that gorgeous woman wasn’t mere months away from being his step daughter.

From the minute they’d met, Keanu had found himself urging resistance, he loved his fiancée, he did. Caroline. She was a notable, and incredibly talented designer and they’d met when the fashion house she worked with had sourced him as the face of their fall line. Falling for hadn’t been instantaneous, instead, they’d spent a few too many nights together and gotten to talking. He’d found something in her, a resting place for his weary soul, a familiarity that had yet to be discovered in anyone else. They were both well travelled, old souls and no matter where they were, as long as they were together, it felt like home. When they’d gotten together, Keanu was positive that he’d never have eyes for another. That was, until he met her daughter.

The spitting image of her mother, thought minus twenty something years in age, Y/n was jaw-droppingly stunning. From the minute she’d walked into the room, that night when she’d returned from a month-long trip to Paris with some of her friends, Keanu found it hard to tear his gaze away. She was magnetic, far more melancholic than her mother and had this sort of dark princess, too moody to be the life of the party kind of vibe. But still, there wasn’t a soul that didn’t gravitate towards her when she entered a room. Y/n was a paradox of sorts, wildly mysterious yet disarmingly charming.

After their initial introduction, just some seven or eight months prior, she’d become a staple of their Malibu household- he and Caroline had agreed that they would move into her place on the beach; it was the one thing she’d held on to after her husband’s untimely passing and where she’d raised her only child. At first, Keanu welcomed the idea, anything for his dear Caroline, though, months later, he was slowly beginning to regret it. Especially when work had taken Caroline to Italy, leaving him to often find Y/n lounging near the poolside, with her model friends and whatever lucky man had been in her good graces at that point.

They never seemed to last; the men, and every time one stopped coming around, Keanu would breathe a sigh of relief. It was ridiculous really, but he’d somehow developed the notion that if he couldn’t have her, no one else should. He wanted her, physically he ached for her, especially after seeing how the scarce fabric of her bikinis would hug her curves. And then to add insult to injury, during the stretch of her mother's absence and the short stint of one of those overly pompous surfer boys, he’d stumbled upon the most vulgar thing on his way to his and Caroline's shared bedroom.

Well, maybe ‘stumbled upon’ might have been too generous. Maybe he’d followed the sounds of strained yelps and heavy grunts all the way to a slightly ajar door that led to Y/n’s bedroom. A peek in had proven to boil his blood upon finding her with her back pressed against the dresser, panties hanging off one of her ankles and her nameless companion jerking her body into the furniture. Part of him was illogically enraged, jealous. But another part had stiffened, hardening in his pants and when he’d found the will to rip his eyes away from the scene, Keanu had stolen to his room, taking himself in his hand after a pumping some lotion from a bottle on the nearby nightstand into his palm, grunting Y/n’s name through clenched teeth as he fucked himself. After that, it was hard to look at Y/n without thinking of what he'd seen, without wishing it had been him with her that afternoon instead.

That night, long after Caroline’s return, when they had made reservations at a nearby restaurant to celebrate the green light on her latest line, Keanu, for a few dear minutes, had been able to give his fiancée his full attention. He wished it could have lasted longer, because every time his mind wandered, it made him feel guilty, but they were just heading out through the front door when Y/n sauntered in, from a hallway off to the side, head down and loose tresses, curtain her face as she secured her phone in her large clutch. She swayed her hips slowly and thin heels thumped quietly on the hardwood. “Sorry,” she breathed absently, not looking at them.

“Glad you decided to join us,” Caroline huffed and unlike Y/n, all Keanu could do was stare. And try to not drool. Her black dress was skin tight, sporting a high slit at her left thigh as if its already lacking hem didn’t boast her smooth legs. Spaghetti straps supported a dangerously low neckline and he had to actively avoid ogling at how her full breasts seemed pushed together. A bright ruby pendant drew attention to her cleavage, while similar stones shone on the ear that she’d tucked some of her hair behind, though, none of the exquisite stones were as deep or dark as her full lips, caught in a perpetual pout.

As she lifted her head, Y/n rolled her eyes, sighing softly as she met her mother’s fallen expression, her own softening as she spoke next, “I said I was sorry,” Y/n sighed again, approaching her mother and seemingly ignoring him at her side. As Y/n leaned in to peck Caroline’s cheek though, her bare arm brushed his, and Keanu could have sworn electricity passed between them. “You know I wouldn’t miss this mom, it’s important to you.”

“I know,” Caroline smiled softly, slipping her arm into Keanu’s, “Isn’t Shane joining us?” She inquired absently as the slipped through the front door, the steps illumined by yellow, glowing porch lights.

Scoffing, Keanu barely missed the way Y/n brushed some hair out of her face as she did. “He’s…..we’re done.”

“So soon?” Keanu was the one who spoke up that time, his interest peaked. Shane had been around for longer than the others. They’d actually met him and Caroline seemed to like him well enough for her daughter.

“Mm hmm,” Y/n hummed, being the first to get into the back of the black, heavily tinted sedan so he and her mother could sit together, “He was boring.” She never came off as one interested in offering many words, and as far back as Keanu remembered, they’d only had a handful of full conversations. If it weren’t for Caroline telling him, he wouldn’t have even known that she had a job outside of lounging by the pool almost everyday; she was a fashion curator, whatever that meant.

“He’s a doctor!” Caroline defended, knitting her brows, “A doctor for Doctors Without Borders, what’s so boring about that?”

Shifting so she could look out the window, Y/n propped her chin on her hand, her elbow stationed on the door, “I don’t know,” she shrugged half heartedly, already off in her own world, “He just was.”

Keanu threw Caroline, who’d realized that Y/n wasn’t really entertained by the conversation, a sympathetic look, effectively hiding his satisfaction with how unattached her daughter was. “Alright dear,” she gnawed on her lower lip and Keanu affectionately squeezed her hand in his, “Whatever you say.”

Vacantly, Y/n stared at her half finished meal, fork held loosely between her fingers. Occasionally, when she’d raise her head to take a sip of her wine, she’d meet the sight of her mother leaning into Keanu’s embrace as they shared innocent pecks ever so often. She liked seeing her mother happy, it had been years since her father’s passing after all, and Keanu was the first person she’d let get that close, but despite it all, Y/n was still jealous. Not jealous of her happiness, but really, who she'd found happiness with; Keanu.

He was smolderingly attractive; the specs of salt in his beard, the dark locks falling perfectly over his rugged features, his broad shoulders and towering stature. Y/n could see the appeal, and she could see it well enough to want her chance at him. It was twisted, immature and he should have been off limits, but there was just something about his rich pools of whiskey that sent shivers up her spine when he laid eyes on her. And Y/n went out of her way to make sure he laid eyes on her.

It was particularly hard either; half her time back at the house was spent in a swimsuit anyway, and she’d been especially sure to wear her skimpiest pieces when she knew for sure that he'd be out on the balcony for his late night smoke. It wasn't overtly obvious, but Y/n could tell her efforts were paying off. Sometimes, depending on what she was wearing and if they were alone in a room, she could feel his eyes following her around, and then, there were some more…….unsavory things that she'd been privy to.

It had never been Y/n's intention to hurt her mother, or steal her boyfriend, but who could resist a man as magnificent. Keanu was every girl's wet dream, older, hunky and no doubt experienced, in all respects. Besides, it wasn't like she was trying to snatch him away forever, at most, she wanted to show him a good time, what her girl her age could do before he and her mom got hitched.

Speaking of the wedding.

"Y/n?" Her mother roused her attention, just as her eyes had started straying towards the ocean view offered through the window, "I’ve waiting to ask you something when we were all together, as a family," Caroline reached across the table for her daughter's hand, "I know that we haven’t been as close as we used to be before you left for college. But you're still my daughter, my little ballerina," at the words, Y/n blushed, memories of a simpler time flashing across her mind, "And I'd love it if you'd be my maid of honor."

Widening her eyes, Y/n's jaw slacked, "Mom…..I'd be honored." Mustering up a smile and doing her best to ignore Keanu. That moment wasn't about him, it was about her and her mother.

"Really?" Caroline cooed giddily, giving her fingers a gentle squeeze. For a split second, a pang of guilt stabbed at her chest. Her mother was marrying Keanu. Her mother who'd sworn off dating after a horrible accident vowed her a single parent. Her mother, who'd taken her around the world as a child, along with an armory of private tutors, just so Y/n could have the best of both worlds. Her mother, and there she was, trying to seduce her fiancé. How ungrateful could she be?

Chuckling fondly, Y/n tilted her head, "Of course mom, I'd love to be your maid of honor."

"Oh! I'm so happy to hear that," Caroline sniffled, "Keanu can tell you, I've been meaning to ask since you got back. But we hadn't even started planning the wedding yet, and then I had to go to Italy and I didn't just want to spring it on you either," her smile faltered, and Y/n knew where her mother was going with that, "I know that it's been almost fifteen years, but I didn't want you to think that I'm marrying Keanu to replace your father."

The memories of him stung and Y/n had to clench her jaw as she shook her head, "I know. It's been…..a long time, since he…...doesn't matter," clearing her throat, Y/n was suddenly fighting tears, "You deserve to have love again."

"Y/n's right sweetheart," Keanu pecked the top of her mother's head, "And I'm so happy that I'm the only that gets to love you."

Even if she'd just reprimanded herself, seeing Keanu coddle her mother was still a bit annoying, and coupled with the barrage of memories shared with her late father, Y/n was starting to get the feeling that the walls were closing in on her. She needed air, fast. "Excuse me," the chair scraped the tiles noisily as she stood abruptly, discarding her napkin next to her plate on the table, "I think I'm gonna go for a walk, get some fresh air."

As she stalked off hurriedly, Y/n could hear her mother calling after her, asking if she was okay. But the last thing Y/n wanted to do was talk about it and, as she broke through the glass doors of the establishment, sea breeze blasting her face and the sound of waves crashing against the shore filling her hearts, she sighed heavily, grateful to finally be alone with her thoughts.

Replaying the past in her head, like the best parts of a movie on repeat, Y/n walked slowly along the sand dusted wooden pathway tucked against the side of the restaurant. The area was barren of all other life, and dark void of any other lighting besides what was offered by the twinkling night sky. Usually, she supposed the area was used by workers who wanted to escape the bustle without being caught, but that night, it was perfect for a young girl seeking to escape her reality.

If only for a very short while.

"Is everything okay?" A painfully familiar baritone pierced her thoughts, causing Y/n to turn around as face Keanu. His features were shrouded by the dimness, but she could identify the outline of his frame almost immediately, marveling at how much bigger he looked under the cover of the shadows.

Blinking away her tears, thankful that he could not see her glassy eyes, Y/n nodded stiffly, "Yeah, I'm fine, why?"

Shrugging, Keanu took a couple steps forward, stuffing his hands into his pockets, "You ran out of there pretty quickly," he nudged towards the restaurant, "Your mom wanted to come talk to you, but I offered to do it instead?"

"Yeah?" A sly smile broke through without her permission, and Y/n folded her arms, leaning against the sturdy guard rail, "Why?"

"I just think it's important for us to be able to have these kinds of conversations, I'm marrying your mother in a few months after all," his words seemed to shake and Y/n was beginning to wonder if concern for her was what had brought him out there. As much as people wanted to believe it, she knew that Keanu was hardly a saint.

"You're right," Y/n teased, subtly inching closer. Any trace of guilt she'd harbored was gone from the minute he'd called out to her. Maybe he should have stayed inside if he wanted to keep up the good guy persona, and maybe, just maybe, Y/n was a little too used to getting want she wanted. "Soon you're gonna be like…..my daddy," raising her brows, she snatched her lower lip between her teeth, "My step daddy," sure enough, she enunciated the word, ensuring that it dripped with seduction.

"So that's why you came out here?" Keanu scoffed, shaking his head and clearly trying to hide his smirk, "You know, you're not as innocent as your mother thinks you are."

Throwing her head back, Y/n chortled, the sound smooth like a full-bodied red, "I never claimed to be, or tired," shaking her shoulder, she was eventually looking at him again, dark, lustrous gaze unwavering, "You on the other hand…..you might have her fooled. Hell, you might have everyone fooled, except for me."

Licking his lips, Keanu hesitated before humoring her, "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Don't act so coy," Y/n dismissed with a wave of her jewel adorned hand, "Tell me Keanu," she closed the distance between them, leaving a weak few inches between their bodies, "Do you always call my name when you fuck yourself?"

He knew exactly what she was talking about and Y/n could tell. She'd heard him that day, even when the door muffling her words, in particular, had rang through clearly; her name as he came sloppy all over his fingers. "You heard that?" He breathed hoarsely.

"And so much more," Y/n fingers lightly trailed the zipper of his leather jacket, and she gazed up at him through her thick lashes, daring him to make the next move. "Wouldn't you like to feel the real thing?" Y/n hummed, "See if I'm as tight as you're imagining."

"You're a bad girl," he mused, his warm palms ghosting her hips, as if he was scared that touching her would solidify the act. Still, he worked against conscience, "Say it again," he urged, "Call me that again."

Quelling a mischievous soiree, Y/n laid her free hand on his bicep, discarding her last shred of rationality, which screamed that she was possibly among the worst in the world, "Daddy," she purred. "How often do you think about fucking me, Daddy?"

"Too often," he growled, hastily shoving Y/n against the wall. "You walk around in those tiny outfits, like some kind of little slut. And you let frat boys fuck you with the door open. You're practically asking for it."

"And what are you gonna do about that?" Keanu had already hoisted her up, one of Y/n's legs hooking around his hip while the other laid limp. Her arms looped his neck as their proximity had allowed for her breast to be pressed against his chest as she kept a hand planted on her ass.

"I'm gonna give it to you sweetheart," he nipped at her neck, carefully avoiding any marks, "I wanna be a good Daddy."

"Fuck," a lewd moan escaped her lips, and the feeling of his hard-on pressed against her inner thigh was enough to drench her panties. Keanu merely felt deliciously big. When he nipped on her skin, dragging his teeth as he pulled away, she clutched his bulky arms, nails sinking into the soft leather of his coat. Y/n’s body arched into his as she threw her head back, and Keanu’s hands slipped beneath the hem of her dress, the fabric bunching up at her waist as he roamed her body. “I want you,” she whispered huskily, shutting her eyes and lolling her head back against the wall.

“We don’t have a lot of time,” he mumbled, pawing at her ass, kneading and squeezing the firm flesh roughly. Wasting no more time, he shoved her panties away, setting Y/n back on the ground so they could slip down her legs and fall in a sparse pool of racy navy lace at her feet. As Y/n nudged them away with the tip of her stiletto, Keanu got started on the buckle of his belt, aided by her lithe fingers.

“What if someone sees us?” She probed, finding the zipper of his jeans and then reaching inside his pants to palm his hardened cock through his boxers, grinning wickedly at its undeniable girth.

“Look around baby, no ones gonna see a damn thing,” he offered, a mischievous glint in his eyes, “We just gotta be quick.”

Hissing loudly as she squeezed, Keanu bucked into her touch, groaning languidly when she rubbed her thumb over his cotton clad head. “Then what are you waiting for Daddy? We haven’t got all night.”

“You’re right,” he snarled, hastily collecting her in his strong arms once again, shoving her against the wall, situating himself between her spread legs. Temporarily, he clumsily squeezed one hand between their heated bodies, pushing down his underwear and freeing his cock. “You ready?” Keanu’s rumbling words didn’t await permission before he jerked into Y/n’s dripping cunt, her response reduced to hitched cry. Immediately, she could feel his veins bulging against her sensitive walls, and the slight curve of his shaft reached so deep she could have sworn she felt him in her stomach. “You cunt’s so tight babygirl, perfect for Daddy’s cock.”

The feeling of Keanu nestled in her drenched sex, his pace steady and guiding, while still bordering intense rabidity, had Y/n gasping for breath, not caring if the salty air would assault her senses. His cock expended her, almost to the point of creating the most pleasurable burn, and his bruising grip on her waist, the only thing supporting her, was like electricity. Desperate to touch him, Y/n clawed at his t-shirt, barely aware that ripping it would be an unexplainable disaster. Though, her patience quickly wore thin and she resorted to sliding her hands down the neck of his t-shirt, reaching for his back.

Keanu’s tongue, dancing around hers, tasted of the beer he’d been having with dinner, and that, coupled with the lingering Merlot on her tongue was astoundingly intoxicating. The act, the danger of being caught, its depraved immorality, was so sweet that it was drunkening. The feel of Keanu drilling into her, leading her to the threshold of sweet release was far above anything she’d ever felt. The top of his jeans, lowered only enough to allow their sin, chafed the underside of Y/n’s thighs, the friction only adding to the unmatched sensation.

“Oh fuck!” She rasped, sinking her nails into his shoulders, the words swallowed eagerly by Keanu as he rolled his hips aggressively, knowing that they didn’t have much time.

“No marks,” he managed, pulling away and pressing her nose to Y/n’s. Shrugging hastily, Keanu tried to nudge her hands off, “She can’t know.” Barely registering his words, Y/n still loosened her grip, sliding one of her hands up to disturb the neatness of his hair. Around his hips, her legs tightened, consequently restricting his pace even as she breathlessly mumbled broken pleas for him to go faster.

As Y/n’s nails scratched his scalp, one of Keanu’s rough palms deserted her hip, roaming her side, yanking down one of the thin, delicate straps of her silky dress down her arm, freeing one of her breasts so he could grope it eagerly, between moments spent rolling her pebbled nipple between his thumb and pointer. Struggling to buck her hips to meet his, Y/n could quickly feel the last threads holding her coherence together getting ready to snap. “I’m gonna…..” Y/n threw her head back, cool night air combating the heat seeping to the surface of her skin. An indecorous cry parted her lips, and she barely got the words out, “I’m close.”

“The come for me,” Keanu gritted, baring his teeth as he buried his face in the crook of Y/n’s neck, “Come all over Daddy’s cock, baby.”

Under the witness of the navy cloak, speckled with twinkling specs of white, and to the melody of foamy water sloshing beneath their shaky feet, the broil in Y/n’s stomach overflowed explosively. Stars, much like the ones teasing them from above, danced on her blurred vision as a rush of slick moisture coated their thighs, bathing Keanu’s swollen member. As she clenched around him, her legs losing sensation, Y/n felt him slow down, his thrusts rigid as Keanu revealed in the feeling.

A vulgar grunt joined their sounds, ending with a series of hitched breaths as Keanu shot generous, hot bursts of his product inside her, coating her slick walls as excess dripped between them. Sloppily and without rhythm, he rode out both their highs, his movements only slowing down almost completely as they came down.

Stumbling back as he pulled out, Keanu braved himself on the banister, catching his breath. Y/n, still disheveled, slouched against the wall, eyeing Keanu intensely as her chest heaved with deep, heavy breaths. The lingering exhilaration roused the tried smile from her and leaning her head back, Y/n let her eyes slip closed.

"We need to head back inside," Keanu declared, putting himself back together. "Tell you what," he beamed wickedly, bending near Y/n's feet to collect her discarded panties off the floor, "I'll keep these," he crumpled her thong, shoving it into his back pocket, "And you can keep this," without warning, he tossed her the same handkerchief he'd used to hurriedly wipe away the evidence from his thighs.

Before Y/n could even sum up a witty response, still in the process of rearranging her dress, Keanu was adjusting his jacket and running corrective fingers through his full, dark mane. "Don't take too long, alright?" He set off for the side entrance, "See you inside Kid."

As he neared their table, nearer to the cost booths and situated perfectly under the intimate lighting, Keanu watched as Caroline lifted her head, a worried, yet hopeful smile etched across her lovely features. He loved her. "Sweetheart," he bent, pecking her cheek quickly before settling in the chair next to her. As he did, a wave of guilt, incomparable to anything he'd ever felt before then, washed over him. He'd betrayed her, the woman he was going to marry, with no other but her own child.

"Is everything okay?" She probed gently and when Caroline looked at him, with those familiar eyes so full of love, Keanu felt like he was bare naked and blasted with frigid air.

"Yeah," he gestured elaborately with hands, trying to suppress his muddled feelings, "Yeah, why?"

"Well my daughter left in the middle of dinner and practically ran out of the restaurant and you told me you were gonna talk to her. So I'm just wondering how it went," Keanu knew it wasn't her intention, Caroline trusted him, even if he didn't deserve her trust, but every question was suddenly an interrogation, a witch hunt for the truth.

Sucking in a breath, the feel of her against him, her part breasts to his chest, the warmth between her silken legs, the taste of her skin, it all came back to him in a rush, as if he were still out there with Y/n, losing himself in the pleasure. It had been a while since he'd been with a woman that age, and with the experience he'd had then, the thrill was exalting. He wanted it- her again. But he shouldn't have had her at all. "It was good," he cleared his throat reaching for his beer in hopes of swallowing the lump in his throat. "We had a nice-"

Before he could finish, Y/n was approaching the table with a cool confidence that suggested that nothing out of turn had transpired between them. When she sat though, even if Caroline was completely oblivious, a heavy tension befell their table. "I'm back," she declared with a soft giggle, hiding one of her hands, presumably the one with his kerchief, under the table.

"You are, Keanu was just telling me that you two talked things through. And sweetie, I just want to apologize, I shouldn’t have brought him up, I know you don’t like to talk about your father,” reaching across the table, Caroline took her hand and Keanu noted how Y/n stiffened, actively avoiding him.

“I should be the one apologizing mom,” Y/n inhaled audibly, her feigned smile faltering, Y/n turned her hand over so she’d have a loose hold on her mother’s manicured fingers, “I’m sorry, about just leaving like that earlier,” for the first time since she sat down, Y/n glanced at Keanu, and he found guilt reflected in her eyes, with something else lingering beneath, desire perhaps. He held her gaze, for a little longer than he was supposed to, and Y/n was eventually the one to turn away, guarding herself as she fixed her attention on her mother once again, “I’m sorry mom.”

*****

Tagging- @crybbyren @cynic-spirit @imagine-the-fanfics

#keanu reeves #keanu reeves x reader #keanu reeves x you #keanu reeves x y/n #keau reeves fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #stepdaddy #au

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jimlingss · 4 years

Text

Ducklings & Dimples 2

Original / Sequel

➜ Words: 17.1k

➜ Genres: 58% Fluff, 20% Adventure, 20% Action, 2% Angst, Historical!AU - kind of

➜ Summary: After your adventures with Yoongi, you head home to face your family and the duties you've run from. A year has passed since. But you never anticipated meeting him again with his fiancée.

The country of Pegan is one you’ve never had the opportunity to venture into. It was a place that you teetered on, scaling the border, poking your head into one or two of the small villages just to sell in before you were on your way. But you had heard lots about it in his letters. You just never thought you would be visiting it in such a way. Ten round towers form a protective barrier around the elegant castle and are connected by firm walls made of gray stone. Refined windows are scattered generously across the walls in an asymmetric pattern. Beyond the gates are well kept gardens with fragrant flowers, gorgeous trees and many bushes that decorate the outside of the castle. The castle itself has clearly been around for at least a thousand years, but it doesn't seem like it will collapse any time soon. “Back straight. You’re slouching, Taehyung,” your mother barks to your youngest brother and sharply inhales when Jin purposely bumps into him with his broad shoulders, telltale signs he’s trying to instigate more bickering. “Stop that right now, young man. You’re supposed to set an example as the eldest.” “I wasn’t even doing anything!” Jin protests to no avail. Taehyung’s mouth curls as he jumps on the opportunity to berate his older brother, “You’re twenty six. You should act like it.” Seokjin’s mouth drops open. “How dare you bring my age into this.” “Can you guys please shut your mouths for one second?” Lia is exasperated and glares. “People are staring at us.” “Now, now, children.” Your dad clears his throat and brushes off his shoulders. “Let’s not give your mother a hard time and argue in front of the Duchess’ castle.” Your mother holds in her sigh temporarily and makes it to your sister, smoothing out her dress that’s been wrinkled from the carriage ride. “Hair in place, darling.” Then she makes it to the end of the line and looks at you. Your eyes meet hers and you anticipate nagging. Perhaps an insult of how strands of hair have fallen from your updo and around your eyes. Or how you should get rid of that frown off your face before she singes it off. But to your surprise, your mother merely smiles and swivels around. “Shall we enter?” She’s trying — you can see it and it’s an effort you appreciate. Your entire family climbs the marble steps leading up to the grand doors already open with folks filtering inside. It was the Duchess of Pegan’s birthday, a week long affair and evidently, a huge celebration. Much too extravagant for your own tastes, but it’s not like your opinion matters. “Kaela, Elden!” The man in the foyer comes over with a golden chalice and his wife trails after him. Immediately, your mother curtsies along with your sister and you dip down after a delayed second, momentarily forgetting the manners drilled into your brain. “Duke and Duchess Fesan. It’s a pleasure.” “Oh please, don’t be a stranger. It’s been too long!” The older man has silver, short hair that almost fully covers his thin, lived-in face. But his eyes are fond as if he has seen many good things in his lifetime. Fesan Winsor is a duke, brother to the king that runs Pegan. You only know such facts after the relentless history lessons with your overbearing tutor. He gives a light embrace to your mother and father, nods his head towards you and Lia, and shakes Seokjin’s hand. “Why, you’ve grown to be such a strapping, young man. Handsome, indeed. The last I’ve seen of you, you were but a wee boy.” “Thank you.” Jin practically beams over the praise and you and Taehyung roll your eyes. “Are you looking to get married any time soon?” His irises sparkle. “Do you have someone in mind, your grace?” The Duke barks out laughing at the witty quip and your mother audibly sighs. “Seokjin’s much too deep in finishing his studies to be considering marriage, unfortunately. And a bit too immature to handle the responsibilities of such a thing.” “Oh you never know about children,” Duchess Jacquelyn laughs boisterously. “They always grow up faster than we realize.” The Duchess is in a lavish dress that looks like it’s about to swallow her whole, flashy to the maximum and heavy diamonds are wrapped around her neck. It makes you wonder if it aches. Her golden hair is stark with a bit of gray, yet she is bright eyed and overly friendly as she squeezes the living daylights out of Lia and then you. It’s unusual how she has no respect for personal boundaries or what’s mannerly for a high-class lady that she is. There’s small talk made between your father and the Duke, but as the Duchess pulls away from you, her face lights up as if she recalls something. “Wait a moment! You are Y/N, correct?” “Uh, yes. I am, madam.” “Then you were the one who defeated that vicious dragon from the North with Yoongi, weren’t you?! Why your tale of bravery is infamous!” She grasps your hands with an excited smile. You swallow hard, not sure how you feel about being viewed as a hero when you’re not. But you don’t say anything for fear of having to explain. It’s not like you told your own family the true story. “Yes, what an amazing feat,” Duke Winsor marvels. “You must be very prideful to have such a hero in the family.” Your mother is visibly pleased while your dad plops a hand on your shoulder. “Y/N is indeed turning out to be the best sorcerer in our family.” “You would be too if you studied more,” Taehyung mutters to Lia and nudges her while she glares at him. “What about you, Mr. I’m-too-tired-to-practice-magic.” “Children,” your mother’s voice is full of scolding but a pleasant smile is placed on her features. It’s frightening and jarring how different her expression can be from what comes out of her mouth. “Oh, you must be so eager to see your old friend.” The Duchess turns over her shoulder. “Yoongi was here just a moment ago.” You nod stiffly, tight-lipped. “I’ll make sure to send my greetings to him later.” The middle-aged folks continue talking as you and the rest of your siblings stand there like stone statues that are decorating the castle. But as you look around the crowds, fearing the worst, you feel Jin poke you. “Was that the guy you were sending letters to every day?” he asks, referring to what Duchess Jacquelyn said. “Shut it.” Taehyung raises his brows with an amused smile, but no one speaks. It’s become a sensitive topic but always has been — you’ve never let any of them see your letters and you threw a big fuss on several occasions when Lia tried to sneak peaks. Now you regret it. Why did you spend so much time doing such petty, futile things. Eventually, you’re granted mercy when the Duke and Duchess continue welcoming new arrivals and everyone disperses for drinks. And unlike what they said, you’re not eager to see your old ‘friend’ at all. You’re trying to steer clear of him. “What are you doing standing here in the corner?” Your mother finds you reclusive with a flute of ale. It’s not the most sophisticated drink, but does enough to put you more at ease. Though, much to your dismay, she pries the glass out of your grip. “You should be socializing! Making connections. Like your brother!” She turns and you see Taehyung by the refreshment table with a younger girl who looks visibly uncomfortable. He barks out in deafening laughter, startling a few other guests and your mother sighs while you hold back a smile. “Maybe not quite like him.” “Is there something you want to say, mom?” It’s not like her to be so vague and to encourage you to talk to others. She’s always been apprehensive about you mingling, assuming you’re trying to scam them — which you usually are, so her caution isn’t unreasonable. “There’s a divine soul sorcerer,” she announces and instantly, you groan. “Of course there is.” “Don’t give me that look. You haven’t even spoken to him yet.” Unlike how you receive your magic from a legendary phoenix, divine soul sorcerers are blessed individuals who have a connection to divine beings. Whether they align with an ancient prophecy or their ancestor is an angel. They’re undoubtedly someone who could match the status of your family. You’re starting to suspect the reason your mother even came all the way over here was to get you to meet him. “Fine, I’ll talk to him,” you say, just to get her off your back. Your mother’s wrinkles crease when she smiles. “Good to hear. Now that’s one less issue off my plate— “ “I think Taehyung’s trying to impress that girl,” you interrupt, tilting your body over to the youngest who’s about to set the tablecloth on fire. Your mother practically swears underneath her breath and goes marching over without bidding you farewell. There’s a faint smile on your features and as a Halfling waiter passes, you grab a glass of manycherries wine. You release a long exhale, feeling your eyes bags deepen as exhaustion sets into you. Your eyes flicker to the fire roaring underneath the mantle. The rose and orange flames glow against your cheeks. Your fingers. And incidentally, it grows stronger. You feel the fire envelop you. The chatter of the room simmers down as you focus on the crackle and pop of the inferno. But unfortunately, it doesn’t last long. Not with the shrill voices close to you— “It’s a surprise, no? Even the Duke’s fiftieth birthday wasn’t as extravagant as this. All five houses are here and they even extended the invitations to families beyond Pegan.” “Well perhaps they had a good season or maybe one of the houses expanded their territory and we just haven’t heard about it yet. The Duke and Duchess looks after the entire territory and all the faction houses. It’s only natural they benefit from any changes, right?” “Don’t you two know?” “Know what?” “The reason this celebration is lavish….is because it’s practically an engagement party in disguise.” You exhale out of your nose, downing the glass of wine and when you finish, you see a familiar face in the midst. It’s a slender half-Elf with long blonde hair that’s half tied up and reaches to his ribs. Yorril. You remember his name after beating his ass with Yoongi in Bogsburrough a year ago. The memory causes the corner of your mouth to tug in a smirk. He sees you too and immediately turns away, walking off with his eyes wide. There are lots of people from different factions here, but you don’t know any of their names and don’t care to. Though out of the corner of your eye, you catch sight of a tall man in a white cape fluttering behind with his eyes focused right on you — undoubtedly the divine sorcerer your mother was referring to by his blinding aura — and you take Yorril’s inspiration and walk away as well. You drop your glass on a nearby table and zip into the dark hallway without looking back. You’re not sure where you’re going, merely winding down the corridors. But eventually your steps slow. Goosebumps raise all over the back of your arm. It feels like you’re being watched. Like there’s someone creeping. That there’s a presence behind you. But before you can turn around to discern what it is, a husky timbre makes you halt. “...alright?” At once your body seizes, freezing in its stop. Your blood runs warmer and your back meets the stone wall. There’s a sliver of light coming from the parted door inches away and you pull your orb out from the secret pocket you sewn into your dress. Gripping the object, you channel your magic and cast clairvoyance. The hearing sensor is placed behind the door. “Thank you, Yoongi.” It’s an unfamiliar soft-spoken voice. You hear his hum. “You’re welcome.” “I’m sorry. I know there’s a lot of people out there. I didn’t think my mother would invite so many people. It’s usually not like her to do this and—” “Hey, it’s okay. You don’t need to apologize. I don’t mind as much as you think I do.” “Really?” “I can’t say I enjoy it, but it’s not so bad every so often.” You swallow hard, feeling your heart clog your throat. Though before you can hear another thing, a hand plops down on your shoulder. And you nearly shriek in surprise. Out of all people, you turn to find dad wearing a mischievous smile that Taehyung and Seokjin inherited, and he nudges his chin to the door. “Your mother wouldn’t like you eavesdropping, you know. Come on, let’s go back.” You nod, following after him. The two of you return to the main room and step out into the terrace, away from the crowd. “There’s plenty of other men out there, Y/N.” “I know,” you mutter without looking at him, unable to help sulking. The older man smiles, having an inkling of why you’ve been so quiet. “It’s okay for you to be upset. Everything’s a process of trial and error. And it’s something that’ll come and go in due time.” You sigh lightly, trying to muster a smile that never really comes. “You want me to meet that divine soul sorcerer like mom, don’t you?” “Heavens no.” Your dad pats you on the back as you look out into the gardens. “I just want the best for my daughter.” You meet his eye and he grins. It’s moments like these that you’re glad you came home. “Elden!” The pair of you turn around as an older woman with cat-like eyes and a piercing stare steps out onto the terrace, her slender black dress sparkling like the stars. “My goodness, it’s been ages!” “Hyoyeon.” Your dad gives a laugh. “You haven’t aged a day!” They come to an embrace and she pulls away. “Oh, you’re too kind. Have you met my son yet?” Your worst nightmare emerges. Yoongi is dressed in a black tunic, pants, boots and a black velvet cape draped over his left side. He looks less like a knight on a quest and more like a prince. But one thing that hasn’t changed is his duckling-like hair. Strands of pale yellow that stand out. His eyes immediately center on you in surprise. As if he wasn’t expecting you here. And of course he wasn’t. You hated functions and celebrations like these, but once you heard the rumours, you couldn’t help but beg to come. Or maybe he’s giving you that expression because of how odd you look. You suppose he’s never seen you in anything other than braids and that peasant dress that you used to disguise yourself in. Now, your mother wouldn’t catch you dead in attire like that. But with him comes the Duke’s daughter, Fesan Klarinda, the Marquise of Pegan. She’s petite with spiral curls and dimples dotted in each side of her cheek. She’s the epitome of delicate. Instantly, the girl looks between you and Yoongi, realizing that your gazes are locked into one another’s. “Y/N.” He breathes it out and something swells inside your throat to hear him call your name. It’s hard to keep your face blank and impassive. Yoongi’s mother glances at him and then you. “You know each other?” “She was my partner during my adventure.” “She helped you defeat the dragon? Y/N from the great Phoenix family?” his mother gasps and nudges him. With her teeth gritted, she mutters, “Why didn’t you tell me that? Had I known….” Your dad’s laugh cuts through the suffocating tension. “Such a small world indeed. But I’m glad to finally meet the man who protected my daughter. Congratulations on your engagement, son.” “It’s nice to meet you,” Yoongi’s fiancée says with a demure smile and you give a curtsy without uttering a word. “Is your eldest son here, Hyoyeon?” “Oh, Hoseok unfortunately couldn’t make it to the occasion. He’s busy studying arcane magic in a monk temple in Baldur's Gate. So I only have my youngest with me today.” “Not at all! Education is of the utmost priority for the children.” While they speak, Klarinda clears her throat. “There must be a lot to catch up on since you and Yoongi are fairly close, I heard.” “Yes, he is a great friend to me, my lady.” Yoongi’s eye twitches, but you pay no mind. You don’t speak a single word to him and while it’s terribly awkward, you seize the opportunity to leave. “I find myself a bit parched. If you'll excuse me.” You get away as quickly as you can while grabbing fistfuls of your heavy dress, feeling more strands falling out of your updo. But being out of his presence doesn’t mean you’ve escaped. You feel the weight of Yoongi’s intent gaze on you all night, from across the room to the table. You’re barely able to survive dinner and the food’s not at all charred enough to your tastes. You’re beginning to regret coming here. Even when you knew you had to see it for yourself. “Excuse me. I believe you are Lady Y/N, right?” After dinner, the divine soul sorcerer finally corners you at a moment when your guard is down, having been too focused on Yoongi. The man has silver hair neatly coiffured, but the colour isn’t from age nor is it lackluster. It matches his cape and white attire. Undoubtedly, the sorcerer has an otherworldly appearance. He’s handsome and practically radiant to that of an angel’s. And he draws attention, causing girls to turn their heads and swoon for him. You can only imagine his power and it’s no wonder your mother has insisted that you meet him. But you are far from being impressed. “You are?” “Allow me to introduce myself! I am Jinha, a favoured soul sorcerer. Son of the magnificent Concordia House here in Pegan. My ancestor was the chosen one of the Goddess Mystra.” His palm opens and he glances at your hand. But you don’t entertain the idea of him kissing your knuckles, so he retracts his arm after an awkward moment. He clears his throat. “You look absolutely ravishing. The most beautiful person at this party aside from myself of course,” he quips. You deadpan, “Thanks.” “Are you enjoying the party?” Hardly. “I am.” “Have you tried any of the crab-stuffed lobster tail yet—?” “I much prefer the wine.” You grab a glass from the tray of a stubby butler passing by and you down half of it. When you lower the glass, you find that he’s still there, smirking like an idiot. While this relationship would be textbook perfect, you hate sorcerers. You are one, have three siblings that are, spent your childhood surrounded by them. So you know best how arrogant and entitled sorcerers can be. You bet he spends his free time looking in the mirror. Plus, there’s already enough magic in you for two people. “I happened to speak to your mother earlier, Lady Y/N.” “Did you?” “She said you’ve been traveling before. I have been traveling across the lands myself, so we have quite a bit in common.” “Yes,” you answer in a monotone and then your eyes light up as you spin around on your heel to him. “Actually, she might’ve not told you but I run a business.” “A business?” “I’m a business woman. It’s gotten a bit pushed to the side since I’ve gotten home, but maybe I should start it back up again.” “What kind of business is it?” Jinha stands straighter as if to show how capable he is. “I would love to help.” “Would you?” A feigned coy smile comes across your face and you lean in to graze his shoulder. “I have quite a bit of valuables collected and a lot of ancient potions I sell. All from my travels. You’re actually very fortunate since I have one with me. Would you like to buy one? I’ll be willing to give it to you at a reduced price of ten gold pieces.” Since the first time you’ve arrived, you feel energy return to you. But then much to your dismay, the damned sorcerer apologizes— “I don’t actually have any gold on me right now.” “How about your ring.” You point downward, never breaking eye contact. “This is once in a lifetime opportunity.” Either your skills are rusty or he’s denser than a rock because your persuasions don’t get through. “I would never dare to give you such a worthless ring, Lady Y/N! With so many shiny valuables practically overflowing out of the hundreds of rooms at my enormous manor, you deserve something much more precious. Perhaps we could arrange a time when you could come visit my massive estate.” You audible sigh, not even trying to hide it. For the next ten minutes, the sorcerer bores you with speech about himself, his family, how he personally knows the Duke, how he’s expanding his manor to have two more gardens and five more fountains, and how delicious the crab-stuffed lobster tail is. You barely manage to escape, simply excusing yourself to find your sister. But as you turn the corner, away from prying eyes and ears, you grip your orb in your pocket and channel your arcane magic. You cast disguise self and at once, you take the form of the stubby butler from earlier. A foot shorter, larger, and white tailcoat with black breeches. Your empty glass even turns into a tray and you strut down the corridor with your head held high. You’re going to leave. Out the front door. Never to return. Coming here was a mistake — and confronting Yoongi isn’t something you think you have in you. You’re better suited to having no real relationships, no commitment, no attachments. Merely traveling around and scamming others is what you do best. After all, things were easier back then when you had no direction. There was less emotional turmoil. Fewer obligations. Fewer consequences. But regrets are a little too late, so in the heat of the moment, you throw away your hard-earned compromise with your mother and decide to run. Yet, before you can even think of launching yourself out the open arched window, your eyes grow wide at the man at the end of the hall. Yellow strands of hair catch your attention first. Then it’s the sleepy eyes. The tender features. Immediately, you pull your gaze away from him and stare ahead. It’s not too hard to make yourself unsuspicious when you’re disguised as a butler and Yoongi seems to pay no mind to you either. He merely walks past and you breathe a sigh of relief. But then strong arms wrap around your waist and your back meets a firm chest. The spell breaks. He saw right through you. Right through your illusion. Yoongi’s soft exhale causes goosebumps to rise all over your arms. “Thank god, it’s you. I was worried that it was really the butler.” His timbre is huskier than you remember. You stumble out of his embrace and turn around. “I apologize, sir. I wasn’t trying to create any trouble. ” “Sir?” Yoongi’s brows furrow, deep enough that it looks like it hurts. Neither of you say anything for a long moment as he stares at you and you divert your vision, preferring to admire how smooth the white pillars of the castle look. Then, his hand suddenly reaches out to graze the loose strands of hair that have fallen from your updo. It’s a gentle gesture and he quietly comments, “Your hair’s gotten longer.” But you don’t react. “How have you been?” he asks faintly. “Fine.” You keep your reply curt and short. Distant. “Congratulations on your engagement, sir.” “Y/N.” He sounds annoyed. “Let me explain—” But when you finally meet his gaze, your eyes are painfully stinging and his voice tapers off. You curse underneath your breath, having tried so hard to keep yourself together. Yet the effort to prevent humiliation is being swept down the drain, so you grab fistfuls of your dress and march away. “Y/N!” Yoongi doesn’t chase after you. You snivel violently, doing all you can to not let tears shed. You fail to watch where you’re going and you run into your older sister. “Where have you…..are you okay?” Lia looks down at you, her eyes wide at your state. You merely shake your head and her lips pout as she pulls you in. She doesn’t need to ask. “It’s okay. There, there. No one’s going to hurt you.” She’s wrong. You’ve already been hurt. // Min Yoongi is a bastard. You’ve sorely underestimated his abilities. He manipulates emotions better than you can, but you’re more so angry at yourself for misinterpreting memories. For allowing your imagination to take its course. After all, it’s easier to transform your hurt into anger than reveling in sorrow. You’ve never been the type to be passive. The morning after the banquet, there are tournaments out on the East field. You’re seated at the rows near the Duke and Duchess with the rest of your family. Taehyung is watching intently while Seokjin prefers to wave to girls seated a few seats down much to your mother’s dismay. You’re sitting beside Lia who has her parasol to shield the sun away and is fanning herself to keep sweat from her face. She hasn’t teased you about last night, not when it looked serious enough. But she hasn’t pried either, even though you know eventually she will. Curiosity has always been a fault in your family — second to recklessness. You watch as two men below fight, one with a bow and the other with a mace. You don’t recognize them, merely knowing they’re from different factions. And that they seem to be taking their hatred out on each other. “Ooh.” Taehyung sharply inhales when the Elf with the mace slashes the Half-Elf holding the bow. “That looks like it hurts.” The Half-Elf surrenders and the Halfling referee calls an end to the match. “It’s so hot out,” Lia pants and wipes her forehead with a handkerchief. “Since when did you care about sweating or not?” you ask, lolling your head to the side. She clicks her tongue. “Tch. Don’t you know how many potential suitors are here? I have to look my best. You should too.” “Can I leave?” you ask your mother, tilting yourself to her. Seokjin whirls his head around. “I second that.” “Absolutely not,” she hisses and glances over her shoulder, making sure that the Duke and Duchess aren’t listening. “We are honoured guests and it would be very rude.” “At least wait until the intermission,” your father adds with a charming smile. With that said, you sit back and try to get comfortable. From below, the Halfling referee steps up to his podium and announces through a cone, “For our next match, on the right is Jinha, divine sorcerer from the House of Concordia. And to our left is Yoongi, knight fighter from the House of Min and the Order of the Black Sun!” Your breath hitches in your throat. Immediately, Lia nudges you. “Who’s that?” Her eyes are pinpointed to the obnoxious man from last night who emerges while sweeping his hair back, his golden staff carried in his grasps. But you’re preoccupied with the other man. Someone with pastel yellow hair. Even from far away, it’s all too stark against his heavy armour. And you swear he’s looking right at you. Or maybe not. It could be for his fiancée who’s diagonal to where you are. That would make more sense. You damn yourself for being delusional again. “So that’s him?” Taehyung turns to you, asking, “The one you sent letters to?” “I never did such a thing,” you mutter. The Halfling shouts at the top of his lungs and the match begins. Yoongi grips his rapier in his hands and closes the distance. He hits twice, slamming down the blade onto Jinha with narrowed eyes and then surges forward for a critical hit. His accuracy and precision has become more refined since the last time you saw him fight. Yet, Jinha never bumbles or falls to his knees in spite of the brutality. He tightens his grip on his staff, jaw clamping down. He casts burning hands. His fingers spread and a thin sheet of flames shoots forth from his outstretched fingertips. It causes Yoongi to stumble back and the sorcerer turns his head, flashing a bright grin towards the rows, undoubtedly for you. But you aren’t fazed — not when you’re at the edge of your seat, gaze placed on Yoongi. Lia, on the other hand, is the one who’s impressed. Her jaw draws open, a soft gasp befalling her lips as she covers her mouth with a gloved hand. Across the field, your eyes lock into Yoongi’s. And then he’s moving again, blade slashing thrice. Jinha surrenders. “I should challenge you!” Taehyung suddenly breaks both you and Lia’s trance with his loud and startling voice, looking directly at Seokjin with a rectangular grin. “Do you want to fight?” “Actually, that doesn’t sound like a bad idea.” A wide smile spreads into your older brother’s face. “Do you think you could take me on?” Taehyung’s already rolling up his sleeves. “You’re just going to have to wait and s—” Your mother immediately pulls him down with the force of gravity itself. Her eyes pierce into your siblings. “Absolutely not! I won’t have any of my children fighting and hurting themselves!” The Halfling referee turns. “Does anyone want to challenge the victor of this mat—” You stand. “I do!” Your mother is absolutely mortified. Your father is taken aback. Taehyung is already smiling with a murmured ‘awesome’ while both Seokjin and Lia are visibly amused. There’s little your parents can do too when the Duchess starts clapping and hollering for you to enter the field and the Duke wishes you luck, citing that he’s excited to see the true capabilities of your household. “For our next match on the right is Y/N, phoenix sorcerer from the Kim Phoenix Household. And to our left is Yoongi, knight fighter from the House of Min and the Order of the Black Sun!” From the distance, no one can hear the two of you. No one can discern the way Yoongi’s looking at you. How he’s deflated, sword drooping by his side, his form not at all ready. “I’m not going to fight you,” Yoongi declares with the furrow of his brows. You scoff. “Then you’re weak.” Gripping your spellcasting focus, your blazing red and orange swirling orb, you channel your magic and cast fireball. A bright streak flashes from your pointing finger towards him, blossoming with a low roar into an explosion of flames. But it misses when he nimbly dodges out of the range. The spectators cheer, on the edge of their seats. Yoongi, realizing that you’re not conceding, moves towards you. He grips his rapier and hits twice, bringing his blade down to slash. You sharply inhale, but keep your feet rooted into the ground and as he raises his arm for the third time, it slips. The weapon falls to the ground. “Pick it up,” you spit at him in Elvish, straightening out your spine again. Gasping, you cast Melf’s Minute Meteors and six tiny meteors manifest. They float in the air and orbit you until you send both of them towards him. It misses, exploding on the ground instead. Yoongi grabs his sword, but when he hits you, it’s weak. It barely skims you. Doesn’t even break through skin. And he drops his rapier again. “Keep going! Don’t stop!” This time, the shout isn’t coming from you but from Duchess Jacquelyn who’s crazed as she grips the banister and cackles maniacally. The Duke stares at her in discomfort at how wrapped up she is and Yoongi’s fiancée, Klarinda, shakes her head. “Mom.” You have no plans of surrendering. Even if you drop dead here. You cast fireball again and this time, the blossoming roar of the flames consumes Yoongi. You hear him cry out in agony and you send two meteors orbiting you his way. One misses, but the other one explodes on his chest. Yoongi’s teeth clenches. His knuckles turn white. But before he surges forward with his rapier, the smoke dissipates and he sees you. Tears in your eyes. The trembling of your bottom lip. The quivering of your entire frame. And no one hears when you softly curse him— “Bastard.” Yoongi drops his sword into the dirt. “I forfeit.” At once, Klarinda races down the rows, grabbing fistfuls of her dress. “Excuse me, pardon me!” She races down the field undignified, but to resume to her fiancé’s side. She searches his expression. “A-Are you alright, Yoongi? I can heal you.” She casts cure wounds and presses her palms to his pectorals over his armour. And after she does so, she looks between you and Yoongi. But by that time, you’ve long grabbed your own dress and marched off the field, leaving the two lovers behind. At the exact same moment, a ghostly presence fades from the open arched window on the fourth floor, their eyes having been pinpointed on your figure for the entirety of the match. // There’s someone watching you. You can tell with the way goosebumps raise all over the back of your arm, hairs on the back of your neck lifted, how there’s a sudden weight of someone’s stare on your shoulders. It feels like there’s someone creeping, a presence behind you. Your heel pivots. “Yoon—” But it isn’t him or any of your siblings. A translucent force tries to push itself into your body, causing your words to choke in your throat, your weakened knees to stumble back. Your lungs wither and your throat dries as the remaining air inside you wheezes out. But you resist. With all the strength left inside of you. You use your remaining energy to prevent the force from taking control, from entering and intruding. And in the next moment, it slips out and flounders in front of you. What would be a terrified shriek ends up as coughs as you gasp for air. “W-What in the holy fuck—” It’s a ghost. A chubby man in white sleeping silks, his dark hair brushing against his shoulders, but his form translucent and feet floating inches off the cobblestone hall. Your seething fire running through your blood flares. It seeps out and magically wreathes around you as your eyes glow as hot coals. You lift your finger to him, threatening to attack and he steps back. “Hold on there! Don’t be hasty!” the ghost spits in panic. “I sincerely apologize for my blunder!” “Who are you?! What were you trying to do to me?!” “My name is Leo and I just wanted to borrow your body for a bit! You see...I have some unfinished business.” There’s an extended silence. Then you lower your arm and the fire drawn back into you. Your stare is unwavering and Leo musters a smile on his thin lips, wrinkles around his eyes creasing. “In hindsight, I should have asked. I apologize for intruding.” You scoff, guard still up. “What’s your unfinished business?” “Ah, I would like to see the sunrise one last time.” The ghost turns to glance out the window. “Someone once tried to banish me away, so now I’m in a quite unstable form. I am only able to venture in this realm when it is day or night when time itself is stable. I disappear every time there is a sunset or sunrise.” Your brow lifts. “So you’ve been haunting this castle?” “Well, I can’t leave if I have unfinished business.” Leo smiles at you, eyes almost hopeful. “Whoever tried to banish you should’ve done it properly,” you deadpan. Getting rid of this ghost could be your birthday present to the Duchess. “I don’t know the banishment spell unfortunately. But my older brother does.” You start to march down the hall, but the ghost follows after you frantically. “Please don’t banish me! I beg of you! Please!” It’s an opportunity and you seize it. Your feet halt and you twist to him with a smirk growing. “Then what will you offer me?” “Offer you?” “As payment.” Your arms cross. “We can strike a fair deal. If you want to borrow my body, I’ll let you. But only if you can give me gold.” The ghost bursts out in hearty laughter that streams from his chest. “I don’t have anything to my name anymore, dear sorcerer. Certainly not gold. I’m dead!” Your face morphs into impassivity, lips drawn into a tight line. “Then I’m afraid I can’t help you.” Yet, he still follows relentlessly, floating to your left and to your side, eyes plastered onto your profile. “Oh, but can’t you offer me even half a day out of the kindness of thy own heart? Surely you must feel pity for a ghost like me that’s forced to wander this castle with no end. I will leave when my business is complete, that I can assure.” “Why don’t you go bother someone else?” “But you are special.” At that, your steps slow and he smiles again. “You know magic well and it reminds me of a certain someone.” “Who?” He hums and frowns. “I can’t seem to remember.” You scoff. After years of your business, of persuasion and deception, you can tell he’s not being entirely truthful. But before you can press on and coax the ghost’s true intentions out, there’s a noisy interruption. “Y/N!” Taehyung approaches with his mouth lopsided. “Who are you talking to?” You turn to your side, but the middle-aged ghost has vanished in thin air. “It was a ghost.” “What?” He looks at you as if you’ve gone crazy and maybe you have. “There aren’t ghosts here. Are you okay?” “I’m fine.” “I came to tell you that mom’s looking for you.” At your exaggerated sigh, Taehyung grins. “Trust me, it’s a lot worse than what you think.” He’s right. Your mother’s caught wind that a few youngsters are going boating and of course, she has to push her children into the private affair. You’re largely unamused, not a fan of being stuck in large bodies of water, even if it’s just a lake. “You have to go.” The moment she sharply enunciates the word, she pulls on the strings on your back laced bodice with all her might and you choke on air. “How else are you going to get married?” She doesn’t see you roll your eyes in the mirror. “My plan isn’t to get married.” “Well you never know what might happen. Keep an open mind.” Somehow, she thinks marriage will quell her troublesome daughters, especially you. But you can’t blame her for holding such an idea. At this point, she’s trying everything she can. “It’s time to be a little more ladylike after the whole tournament fiasco.” In the meanwhile, Lia is sitting in the corner, amused. She has a frilly, puffed up skirt of her own, a shade of light pink and on top of her head, a giant hat with flowers. She’s always been the prettier one. But as you turn to the mirror in your own blue summer dress your mother’s putting you in, you find that you aren’t half bad. Your mother knows you tend to get yourself dirty and that you don’t particularly enjoy being dressed up, so your attire is much less obnoxious and more subtle. It’s proof she’s thought about you. Eventually, your eyes drift off of your reflection to the flames dancing in the fireplace. You stare at the crimson light it gives, the way the subtle smoke that rises from it, curling towards the chimney. “There we are.” Your mother secures the last pins in your hair and smooths out your skirt. “Not too shabby, darling,” she says with a smile as if satisfied from her own work. You wonder what’s the point of trying. It’s not like anyone will be enamoured with you. The person who matters the most after all has already been taken. “You look absolutely beautiful this fine afternoon, Lady Y/N.” Your trance shatters and you look at the man blankly. “Jinha.” “Dare I say, you may be more lovely than you were last night!” He grins and you answer him in silence. You allow the noise of the surroundings to respond instead — the cawing of the birds, the sloshing of the water on the edge of the grass, your brothers laughing as the boats bump into the pier. The only mercy given to him is when Lia quite literally bumps into you and clears her throat loudly. “Ahem. Hello. I don’t believe we’ve met before.” The sorcerer’s smile widens. “Excuse me, but you are?” “I am Lia, Y/N’s older sister. But I’m not that much older. Only by two years. I’m turning twenty four.” You’ve never seen Lia flounder so much. It’s amusing to behold. “Oh, I knew Y/N had a sister, but I would’ve thought you were the younger sister,” Jinha says smoothly and her expression lights up even further. He takes her hand, placing a kiss upon her knuckles and you’re glad she’s taken his attention. Heaven knows you aren’t interested. But as you’re about to walk away, your line of sight falls to a familiar girl with dimples. Klarinda, the Duke’s daughter, is wearing a brimmed hat and her expensive silk skirt flutters with her. If she’s here then where’s— Yoongi’s staring right at you. As if he’s a predator and you’re merely the prey. Immediately, you return to Lia being overly flirtatious with Jinha. It’s bearable for a few minutes until you join your brothers who are horsing around and threatening to push one another into the lake. But out of the corner of your eye, you watch Yoongi and look away when your eyes meet. You know he’s watching you too. You try your best to stay focused on your surroundings. The strangers around were from different families and factions, civil with each other when they’re on the Duke’s grounds. At most, they send glares to their enemies. So you allow the polite, peaceful chatter to engulf you before everyone slowly gets onto the boats to row out and enjoy the lake. “Finally!” Taehyung suddenly twists around, holding a rope in hand. “I got it untied!” Jin facepalms himself. “You idiot! You’re supposed to untie the rope after everyone’s gotten in!” “What?” “Not to worry!” Jinha announces with a grin and nimbly hops inside the boat before it drifts too far off the pier. He holds out his hand for Lia and she gladly takes it with a giggle, being guided in. You watch at a loss for words as the boat gets farther and farther. Still, the divine sorcerer boldly holds out his hand for you. “Lady Y/N!” You hesitate. The boat is already full with four people and you’re not sure if it’s worth jumping in and potentially getting pulled into the lake. But suddenly, before you can make a decision, your waist is pulled back by strong arms. “It’s okay. She can come with me. There’s one left.” “Yoongi!” your gasp is sharp and you look up at him. But he remains unfazed. Your siblings have their brows raised. But by then, they’ve already drifted off and Taehyung wordlessly rows away. You don’t have time to react or object — not when Yoongi’s grabbed your hand and you stumble after him. The last rowboat rocks back and forth violently and you drop into a seated position on the seat before you can fall in. It takes three seconds. The rope is untied and Yoongi rows away from the pier. You notice his fiancée meters away in her own boat, sitting closely with girls chatting and giggling together. Yet, she pays no mind to her friends. Instead, she stares at the two of you. “Shouldn’t you be with her?” Yoongi follows your line of sight and mumbles, “It’s fine.” You’re stuck with him. Yoongi rows where no one else does and you watch the water cascade back. The soft sloshing fills the background as it gets quiet and much too uncomfortable. Yoongi’s husky timbre breaks the tension. “How have you been?” “Well, I’ve just been trapped in my house ever since I’ve returned, but things are great.” Your voice drips of venomous sarcasm, but when you lift your eyes, his gaze locks into yours. The blonde man wears a somber expression, his irises darkening and you sigh, speaking at a quieter volume. “I actually worked out a deal with my parents. As long as I behave and don’t tarnish my family name, I can do as I please. There’s more freedom than before. But it’s a work in progress full of compromise. If I want to leave, I’ll have to write a plan so they know where I’m headed. I just haven’t decided what I want to do next.” Your muttering gets quiet and your face hardens. “Obviously, you’re doing well.” Yoongi stops rowing. He allows the boat to drift. “The engagement was set up by my mother.” “Oh please, Yoongi.” Your eyes roll and you cross your arms, ready for his excuses that you knew were coming. “It was arranged. For all I know, I haven’t proposed to anyone yet.” “That doesn’t change that fact that you’re an engaged man!” Your teeth grit. “It doesn’t change the fact that you’re going to go off with her and have a bunch of kids and a big family together, so congratu-fucking-lations.” It’s unbearable. There’s nowhere you can run. He’s truly trapped you here to confront one another. “And when were you planning to tell me? All those letters and you didn’t mention it once!” Your eyes sting painfully as your vision floods, overwhelmed with emotion. You feel blindsighted. “I thought I wouldn’t have to tell you at all. I was going to take care of it. I didn’t know you were going to be here.” “You really think it’s easy to call off an engagement with the Duke’s daughter?!” you spit and he takes your onslaught of anger. The pain is visible on your visage. “If I didn’t come, were you going to tell me when you got to the altar? Or after you got back from the honeymoon? I...I feel like an idiot.” “I’m sorry.” Staggering exhales pull from your lungs after your tangent and silence fills the large distance between the pair of you. Yet, Yoongi’s gaze is too tender for you to bear. “My biggest regret is not kissing you that night,” he murmurs. “Or rather, not asking you to come with me.” “It’s too late.” “It isn’t.” “What are you going to do, Yoongi?” “I’m going to call it off.” “How?” “I’ll try.” His voice is low, eyes half-lidded. “Then what?” you spit in exasperation. “What reason would you have to call it off? It’s a great arrangement! A beneficial marri—” “I want to marry you.” The inside of your chest stutters. Your breath catches in your throat. Warmth rises to your face and heats your cheeks like a furnace. Yoongi isn’t a straightforward man, blunt but never honest with his feelings. That trait has bred so many uncertainties within you. But in this moment, you feel his sincerity. You can see it, how hard he’s tried to reach you, to tell you his intentions. It reminds you of that night in Rutherglen. The festival and fireworks, when you were so close to one another, when you would’ve gone anywhere with him. “You’re an idiot, Min Yoongi.” You stand. “I don’t feel like talking to idiots.” You pull your orb from your pocket and cast shape water. The waves rise and it splashes him. Yoongi’s yellow hair is soaked along with the entire side of his head. His visage washes over into impassivity, akin to a glare. But you don’t dwell, palms laying flat in the air as you manipulate the water and push the boat back to shore. The minute you get to the pier, you pull yourself up. “I learnt more spells other than fire magic since our fight with the Remorhaz,” you add, “if you even remember that.” You know it’s unfair, but you rush away before he can discern how in a few words, he’s given you hope. The very hope that you know can easily break your heart again. // It’s been less than two full days, but it feels like an eternity. You’re slouched over an open arched window, elbow propped on the stone with your chin rested in your hand. The valleys of Pegan are out in the distance behind the fogged clouds, countless adventures and creatures out there for you to discover and explore. But you find yourself rooted in your place, a sense of uneasiness and yearning preventing you from leaving. At sounds of quacking, your eyes drift from the scenery to the first floor. By the staircase is a white duck with an orange beak trotting along with a row of pale yellow, baby ducklings behind her. They follow their mother religiously, teetering from side to side, trying not to get too curious of the world around them and a smile graces your lips. “Are ducklings your favourite animal, sorcerer?” Your spine straightens in shock and the wandering ghost, Leo, grins at you. Your hand presses to your chest as you steady your breath. “Are you trying to scare me to death?!” “Of course not! That would be defeating the purpose. I can’t borrow your body if you’re dead like I am,” he chortles, arms behind his back as he floats from your right side to your left. “I wanted to merely apologize for this morning. I didn’t mean to be so invasive or startle you.” You glare at him, not yet accepting his apology. He continues nonetheless— “Also, I want you to help me.” You snort unattractively, having known he had other purposes in approaching you again. “Unless you agree to my deal, the answer is no.” “Please,” Leo pleads. “I can’t move on.” You push yourself off the wall and walk away. He follows after you, even after you quicken your steps. “Why can’t you possess someone else’s body and watch your stupid sunrise?” “That is not my greatest desire.” The ghost comes in front of you and you halt in fear of him entering your body. “I’m afraid I haven’t been entirely truthful to you, dear sorcerer.” Your brow lifts, waiting patiently and Leo swallows hard. “I await another lost soul and I wish to depart this world together with them. I can’t move on without them.” Your frustration makes your voice shrill. “It’s not only you who has problems, alright? I can’t even fix mine! What makes me think I can fix yours?!” As your annoyance boils over, you start running. It’s useless to try to elude a ghost who can’t get tired, but you try anyway. “Sorcerer!” And without looking, you turn the corner and collide with another body. “Woah!” Jin steadies you before the two of you can topple over. “Why are you not looking at where you’re going?” Lia is with him and regards you with wide eyes. “Are you okay?” You glance over your shoulder. The ghost never comes. “It’s nothing,” you mutter in a sigh. “Mom’s looking for you again.” “What is it this time?” The words come out in a tired exhale. Your older brother shrugs. “Might have to do with tonight’s dinner.” “Hey, Y/N.” Suddenly, Lia takes your hands. “Tell me honestly, do you like Jinha?” “No.” You warily eye her, not sure where she’s going with this. The corner of Jin’s mouth curls. “Why? You like him?” “Well, if she doesn’t like him, she should give him to me,” Lia mumbles, then quickly turns to you. “Of course, if you do, then by all means, our sisterhood is my top priority….” You pull your hand away from her. “I don’t like him, Lia. But he’s not mine to give away either. You can do whatever you want.” Your sister’s eyes twinkle with a kind of enthusiasm that makes you scoff with a smile. Jin’s mouth is quirked as well, but his curiosity has been piqued and he doesn’t hesitate to ask— “It’s because of him, isn’t it? He’s the reason you’re not interested. The youngest son of the Min faction. What was his name?” “Yoongi.” If possible, Lia’s features light up further and she steps forward, cornering you. “What happened on that boat ride, Y/N? It seemed like you were having a really intense talk.” “It was nothing,” you murmur. “He practically pulled you into the boat with him. I mean, did his fiancée mind?” In the midst of the interrogation, Jin shifts to you, eyes unwavering. “You started sending him letters the minute you got back, but now he’s engaged and he happens to pull you aside like that— What really happened on your adventure together?” Millpass, Bogsburrough, Rutherglen. The memories seep back into you. The fireworks and festival, the night at the roadside tavern, fighting together at the underground market. The way he rushed in front of you in the face of the white dragon, how the two of you sat on the hill and watched the sunset together. It’s overwhelming. “Who is he to you?” “I said nothing!” you lie and push past them, stomping in the other direction to get away from your overbearing siblings. “Hey!” Lia shouts after you. “Mom’s still calling you!” You ignore them, turning the corner then down the staircase lest the wandering ghost plagues you again or you run into Taehyung, your mother or father. For good measure, you depart outside without any direction but merely feeling the soft grass underneath your boots. You’re about to turn yourself invisible for a moment of peace or disguise yourself as a maid to escape, but with your unfortunate luck that’s been bestowed to you since you arrived, you run into dimples before you get the chance. A petite figure with spiral curls and an evening dress of modesty. Her brown eyes sparkle as your eyes lock with one another’s. With half a mind and all the etiquette training that had been slammed into you at childhood, you curtsy. “Hello.” “Good evening.” Klarinda smiles at you without a trace of malice. “What a coincidence meeting you here. I was about to head to my greenhouse.” “Yes.” You stiffly nod. “If you’ll excuse me…” But before you can march off, she twirls around. “Would you like to join me?” It’s an open space. The gardens seem to stretch on for miles, plant walls that border the perimeter. In the center of it all is a structure made of glass. The ceilings are high to let in sunlight and there are rows and benches of potted plants and flowers. “Some of these I grow simply because they’re beautiful. But a lot of these herbs have medicinal purposes.” “You’re a cleric, aren’t you, my lady?” “I am, like my mother. And you don’t have to address me by such formal titles. A friend of Yoongi’s is a friend of mine.” The girl smiles. “Klarinda is fine.” You nod and she quietly hums a song as she waters flowers. You follow after her until a particular plant catches your eye — verdant leafs, yellow petals and plump berries. “It’s a sunberry plant,” Klarinda says when she notices your curiosity. “Would you like to try one?” The Duke’s daughter happily plucks one off and holds it out in front of you. The second your teeth bites down, the sweetness explodes into your cheek. She giggles at your reaction. “Good, right? My dad likes to come in here and eat them when they’re in season, so they’re always gone.” “Good enough to sell. You should cast a protection or barrier spell on them.” “I should.” She grins, dimples dotted on both sides of her face. “But between you and me, I actually don't mind so much. It makes me happy that he enjoys something from my garden, even if he has to sneak in.” Most of your first impressions aren’t wrong. Within minutes of conversation, you can figure out if a customer is going to chase you down and try to fight you or might come back at a latter time to buy more. And you can tell her innocence isn’t a feigned facade. The Marquise is endearing enough that you like her for it. For a moment, you almost feel envious of Yoongi. But they’re undoubtedly a good match. A stoic, strong knight capable of shielding away a virtuous maiden who knows nothing of the world, but is kind and generous to a fault. It’s a portrait perfect couple. “This place is really beautiful.” You force yourself away from the thoughts that form a lump in your throat. “Thank you. It can get lonely though.” You hum, supposing a vast yet empty estate would do that to someone. “Don’t people from Pegan visit often?” “They do. They mostly arrive for business. I used to play with all kinds of children from the different factions, especially during holidays. But they can be……” “A bit much?” Klarinda laughs. “Yes! Some might say crazy or competitive, but much is a good word too.” You grin. “I’ve barely gotten to know how the factions work, but I can already tell. Some of them are so conceited.” Her eyes sparkle. “Like Jinha?” “Yes!” She giggles, her dimples creased deeper and her teeth shown in the light. Like this, she’s less of a proper and demure lady, niece to the king, and more like a girl you would’ve known on your travels. “He can be quite a gentleman, but he has an arrogant nature.” “My sister likes him, but I’m not sure why. Personally, I think she could do better. Then again, they wouldn't be bad together.” With the divine sorcerer’s willing-to-please nature and Lia’s incessant demands and high maintenance personality, it might work out better than intended. “I’m envious that you have so many siblings,” Klarinda says with a tender smile and you’re caught in surprise. You didn’t know it was possible she could be envious of you when you were envious of her in so many ways. “I’m an only child, so I’ve often wondered what it would’ve been like to have an older brother or younger sister. There’s nothing that beats family after all.” “You’re not missing out on much, trust me. Siblings can be quite annoying.” She laughs again. “Still, I think it would’ve been nice to belong to a bigger family.” A comfortable silence simmers as you follow after her and she moves to prune a plant. You break the quiet. “Actually, I was away from my family for quite a while. For a number of years.” “I thought you went adventuring for one year?” You shake your head. “They told everyone I went to go study arcane magic, but it isn’t true. I ran away and was gone for three.” Klarinda looks at you with a gentle expression, recognizing your solemnity. “What matters is that you’re here with them now.” You nod. “I don’t regret coming home. I’m glad I didn’t have to return when there was a funeral of my parents.” “Even if they’re overbearing?” she asks with a tiny smile. “Even if they’re overbearing,” you confirm. “You met Yoongi during your travels, right?” Immediately, you freeze, but she focuses on her plant, only stealing a simple glance at you. “He told me a lot about you from day one.” “Is that so?” “The engagement was a surprise to the both of us,” she murmurs, placing her shears down. “It happened less than a month ago. Suddenly my mother sat me down and told me about the arrangement. It was strange considering she had never spoken to me about it before and she’s never been one to make such an agreement. Anyway, a few minutes after I met Yoongi, he spoke about you. Rather fondly.” “Really?” You plaster on a polite smile. “Well, I’m flattered. He’s a great friend.” “Is he sincerely a friend to you?” Klarinda asks. Her gaze is piercing and you raise your guard. She’s going to threaten you — you know it. But you weren’t the one who made the decision and you don’t want any part of it. It doesn’t involve you. It never will. Having learnt from the best, your face becomes blank. “I am very happy that he’s finally engaged. He’s always been very popular, so settling down just seems right for him.” At once, the cleric grips her necklace. Against your will, she casts an enchantment spell and a fifteen foot radius sphere sweeps out from her. It keeps you inside. A zone of truth that prevents lies. “I’m sorry. But I need to know.” She looks at you solemnly. “Do you like Yoongi?” You cuss in Elvish underneath your breath. You can’t be deceptive, but you can still be evasive in your responses as long as it remains within the boundaries of the truth. “It’s not like I dislike him.” “Please be honest with me.” She searches your expression earnestly, pleading with you. Being with Yoongi has made you soft. You’re used to protecting your vulnerabilities until the end, but the truth spills from you as if it’s been dying to be said— “I’m in love with him.” The spell dissipates. Klarinda smiles. “Then I’ll call off the engagement.” “What?” “They can’t force me to do anything and I’d rather keep two great friends than having an unwilling husband for the rest of my life.” Her dimples crease. “I wouldn’t want that for him, myself or you.” “Wait! J-Just because I feel a certain way doesn’t mean he does or even that the engagement should be called off! This...this is something you should talk about with him, not me.” Her smile becomes sweeter. “Isn’t it obvious?” You blink at her. “Yoongi loves you too. What’s more that needs to be said?” The girl is so certain as if the answer has never been clearer. She’s a hopeless romantic. Utterly so. Someone who believes that love prevails above all and suddenly, you want to give into that urge as well. But before either of you can move, there’s a rumble beneath your feet. The ground itself tilts. Klarinda catches herself on the bench and you find your own balance. The pair of you tear your eyes away from one another to the roaring noise. The castle is shaking in its foundation. She notices the smoke that’s rising in the air. “Is...that fire?” Your eyes widen and you rush over, instincts screaming. The girl trails behind you and you pull yourself inside. There’s fire eating at the walls and you take your orb out, focusing your magic to snuff out the flames. To the best of your abilities, you extinguish it. Klarinda stays with you, using her own magic to try to aid you. “Sorcerer!” In the midst of the pandemonium, a familiar voice and form comes from the walls. Leo, the ghost, floats to your side. “I need your help. You must come with me. Please!” Klarinda’s eyes widen. But you don’t notice. “Don’t you see what’s going on?! I can’t help you!” The ghost vanishes. There is smoke filling the halls, flooding the corridors and you cover your mouth with the sleeve of your dress, coughing into it. Members from different factions are rushing past with their own weapons and shields, swords gripped or magic at their fingertips. There’s shouting above the chaos, but you don’t know what’s going on. Not until you enter the main room and find your mother and Taehyung. “Mom!” There’s a dracolich in the center of the circular room, towering high enough to graze the dome ceiling. It’s a monster — once a dragon until it became undead. Now what’s left of it is bones instead of flesh and blood, open eye sockets and decayed wings. But instead of being buried underneath the ground or burnt to ash, it’s come back to life, roaring and whipping its tail to a group of terrified, screaming wizards. There are several death knights as well. Decayed bodies with rotting flesh and pinpoints of light in place of eyes. They’re undead warriors who have revived, having once been rangers and barbarians until they fell. And one of them lunges at Taehyung until your mother casts finger of death, causing it searing pain and making it drop to its knees. Three rays of fire shoot past her, firing onto the death knight. She turns her head. “Y/N!” “Where’s Jin and Lia?” “They went to go find your father. He’s with the Duke!” Another death knight comes running forward with an axe and Taehyung screams before splashing a bubble of acid on it. A beat later, your mother’s grasp on her wand tightens and she sends a frigid beam of blue-white light streak on the monster. A coldness sweeps through the room and you follow up with casting firebolt. The monster has slowed down, barely staggering and obviously wounded. Yet, it tries to swing and misses Taehyung by a long shot. “Not bad,” you comment. “Hey, I’ve improved a lot since the last time you saw me fight!” A rectangular grin is plastered on Taehyung’s face. But the conversation is cut short by the dragonlich’s tail. He jumps away before he’s attacked and joins the other side where a paladin is fighting another monster. “Go!” Your mother shouts. “It’s too dangerous!” “I’m not leaving!” You don’t know where these undead creatures came from, how they even came alive again, or who revived them. There’s no time to think and in the midst of the anarchy, you’re trapped. Sheer seconds as you realize you’re about to be struck, but you’re unable to do anything. You merely brace for the impact. But the monster drops dead in front of you. Yoongi pulls his rapier out in one smooth tug, the silver blade slicing through the air. You gasp for air and he immediately engulfs you in an embrace. The man with the light blonde strands of hair holds you tight as your breath steadies and you savour his warmth. There are no words spoken, nothing that needs to be said that can’t be translated through his desperate yet affectionate gesture. “Sorcerer.” The moment can’t last long when you’re interrupted by the ghost. It floats to you and Yoongi is on guard, lifting the tip of his weapon. But you place a hand on his arm and he eases. “Listen to me.” You’re calm enough to finally pay attention, to hopefully be given answers. And answers are what he offers you. “There is a lich where the old castle resides. You must find the phylactery and destroy it before things become worse.” “A lich?!” Liches are among the worst creatures of humanity — undead spellcasters of great power. They’re creatures who traded in their souls for a chance to exist forever. There are untold treachery and blasphemies they’ve done just to become what they are. But they’re given immortality unless someone destroys their phylactery, an object that stores their life essences. Before you can ask any more questions, the ghost dissipates in thin air. Klarinda, who noticed the transparent form, runs to you. She grabs your hands and searches your expression. “What did the ghost say?!” “T-There’s a lich in the old castle!” “I know where that is!” The Dragonlich roars deafeningly as a warlock casts hold monster and it becomes paralyzed. At the same time, Yoongi pierces a death knight that was barreling towards you. You turn to your mother who gives a glance and she doesn’t even take a moment of hesitation. “Go!” She trusts your decisions — her gaze tells you that. Klarinda nods and Yoongi takes your hand. The two of you follow after her as she twists through the halls. “How did you come in contact with that ghost, Y/N?” “I don’t know. He was the one who approached me after the tournament and he’s been bothering me since yesterday.” Klarinda turns down the hall. “Do you know who that ghost is?” “He told me his name is Leo.” “He’s King Lionel,” she says and your brows raise. Yoongi doesn’t appear surprised either. He wears a solemn expression, having recognized him as well. “There was a section of his life in my history textbook of Pegan. This place used to be his castle.” You’re baffled, completely rendered speechless. She continues, “There was a rebellion a thousand years ago. This whole place burnt down, but it was rebuilt during my grandfather’s generation.” “Were there ever mentions of a lich? Or someone who traded their soul?” Yoongi shakes his head. “No.” “He never had a wife. But there were rumours that he had a mistress. A wizard from far away lands.” Your eyes meet Klarinda’s. “His kingdom was taken down before they could get married.” “But why now?” You’re running out of breath as she climbs a staircase. “If this...mistress traded in her soul a thousand years ago, why is she trying to revive dragons and knights now?” “It isn’t just now,” Klarinda murmurs, her brows drawn into a tight furrow and jaw clenched. “Members of the royal family in Pegan have gone missing for generations. They’ve always swept it under the carpet and kept it a secret, but I think I’m about to find out the reason.” The three of you turn another corner, but come to a grinding halt when you see a flailing lady. “Mother!” Duchess Jacquelyn is in the middle of the corridor, wearing a bountiful and extravagant gown while her arms are full of jewelry boxes, dangling strings of pearls and diamonds. One string slips from the pile and rolls on the cobblestone to your friend’s feet. “D-Darling! What a surprise! What’s going on? The noise has been startling me!” Klarinda steps forward. “What are you doing?” “T-This?! Nothing! I was just re-organizing! Yes. Reorganizing.” “That’s grandmother’s ring.” She points, eyes narrowed in. “You’ve never brought it out since her funeral.” “Well...sometimes change is needed, sweetheart.” They stare at one another while you exchange looks with Yoongi. There is a pregnant silence, tangible tension that’s suffocating. Then you notice how Duchess Jacquelyn slips her hand to her side and something glistens in your eyes, blinding your vision. Your mouth draws open. “You’re not my mother!” — “Watch out!” The dagger strikes her. Klarinda cries as the back of her right hand is sliced. Yet she grabs the opportunity and grips her necklace, her spellcasting object. The girl’s left hand comes out and she holds her mother’s double by the wrist, casting inflict wound. The creature screams horrifically in sheer agony. “What did you do to her?! Where is she?!” You grip your orb, casting scorching ray. One beam of fire hits it and it screeches. A moment later, Yoongi lifts his rapier and strikes it twice, causing the monster to stumble onto its back. Its weapon clacks out of reach. Klarinda grabs the dagger and holds the creature to the floor. She presses the blade to its throat. All traces of her kindness and mercy have dissipated in the face of her rage. “Where is she?!” “O-Okay! Okay! I surrender!” It puts up its hands and shifts. The form of the creature is no longer the beautiful, middle-aged Duchess but a tall, elven gray-skinned humanoid. Its face is formless and eyes are pale and bulging. Its voice croaks, “I’m a doppelganger! I didn’t have a choice! The lich made me do it!” “My mother!” Klarinda shrieks and you lower yourself, squeezing her shoulder and she eases. Tears have filled her eyes, but when she glances at you, she’s able to compose herself. “She’s dead. Her soul’s been consumed.” Klarinda breaks down into sobs. You wrap an arm around her and she lets up on the doppelganger, but Yoongi makes sure to keep his foot down on its shoulder. “We have to get it.” She wipes at her tears, teeth sinking into her bottom lip. “We have to kill that lich, Y/N!” “We will,” you promise her. “We will.” Seconds later, you see Jinha come forward and he rushes over trying to get a grasp of the situation. “Can you take care of this?” you ask and he easily agrees. “O-Of course, lady Y/N.” He binds up the doppelganger and Klarinda casts cure wounds on herself, healing her gash. She takes your hand afterwards and you hold it. Yet, even as her frame shakes, there’s determination in her steps. A type of anger that has solidified her resolve and given her courage. “This is the passageway.” She pushes open a small stone door to reveal a crawl space after Yoongi helped push a bookshelf to the side in the corner of the library. “I found it as a kid, but I never went in too far. The servants found me and they tried to cover it up.” The three of you crawl through before it opens up and Yoongi helps you down onto the landing. There is consuming darkness until Klarinda casts light onto the dagger she has and you ignite a flame to dance into your hand. The empty void is collected with cobwebs, spiders and eyes of bats staring back at you, quietly observing your forms. Each of your steps echo and a cloud of dust emerges. You move slowly, scared that the steps of the staircase winding downwards will collapse under your weight. But you’re able to look around, at the crumbling paintings, the fragmented pillar pieces, the stone walls with scorched markings, and the ancient statues long lost and eaten by time itself. Never would you have guessed that the basement of the castle held all of this. That they had rebuilt themselves on top of what was once the castle of the entire kingdom of Pegan. You can imagine what this would’ve been like a thousand years ago. Children running with servants scolding them, advisors walking by King Lionel’s side, his lover waiting for him. Then you envision the screams, the devouring fire. You can see the charred marks along the banister. You can almost hear it, but you quickly shake it off before you can become frightened. “Destroying the phylactery is the only way we can get rid of the lich without it coming back, but how will we know where it is or what it is?” It could be any object in any room. You turn with the flickering fire in your palm, looking all around you. It’s endless. “If that monster is down here, there has to be a reason,” Yoongi offers, standing by your side. “It could’ve moved anywhere but it might be protecting its phylactery.” “I know where it is.” There’s a low voice and a familiar ghost descends in front of you with a saddened smile. “Your highness.” Klarinda bows her head. But you remain still, even after knowing his identity. King Lionel looks at you with his brows knitted together. “I am sorry for deceiving you, dear sorcerer. Or rather, holding the truth from you. I feared you would have denied my request had I been forthright about it. In hindsight, I could’ve prevented the devastation that has wrecked this place. Had I only known….” “Do you know where the lich is? Or where the phylactery is?” “It is in the last place where I perished.” The King smiles. “In our chambers.” He turns, floating away and Klarinda follows. You and Yoongi trail behind her and when you feel the back of his hand grazing against yours, you grasp it. Yoongi looks at you and you release your held sigh. “Why is it that we always find ourselves in adventures like these?” “You mean these life or death scenarios?” The corner of his mouth curls and he squeezes your hand. “We always manage. But you should’ve told me that you were talking to a ghost.” “I don’t think we were on speaking terms until recently, duckling.” Yoongi grins at the nostalgic nickname, the one you used to start each letter, and your own smile is tinged with sadness. You don’t know if either of you will live. If the pair of you have it in you to be an actual hero and defeat the greatest monster. And as these doubts fill you, so do the regrets that you harbour for not hearing him out, for not trusting in him. With such little time, you wonder if this is it. If this will be your last opportunity. Your steps slow. “Yoongi. I—” “How dare you enter my lair?!” There’s a snarling voice resounding above and instantly, the ghost of King Lionel vanishes. Klarinda turns behind her and looks at you and Yoongi. The hall has ended with a crumbling stone door in front of her. “Leave!” The voice shrieks deafeningly into multiple layers. “Leave!” You nod at her and she pushes the door open. The dust billows out, sweeping in front of your forms. The fire in your hand smothers and the strong gust of wind pulls through your hair. You can’t open your eyes, so you shield yourself away. Yoongi feels his grasp on you loosen. Your touch fades away from him. He shouts after you until his throat is raw, but it’s to no avail. He scrambles blindly until he’s able to open his eyes and finds himself in an empty void of darkness. “I know your greatest fear.” There’s a whisper in his ear and he jolts, turning around while drawing his rapier. But there’s nothing there, not even a shapeless figure. “Min Yoongi. I have read your thoughts.” “I have read your mind,” a second voice crackles to his left. The right snicker. “Your greatest fear is betrayal of your loved one.” “Whether that would be no longer sharing your affections.” “Or choosing another person to be with.” “Get out of my head,” he commands from deep within his stomach, his impassivity ruined by the furrow of his brows. But Yoongi feels a cold breath on the nape of his neck. “A lick of poison from her would destroy you for good.” Fire. You see it in front of you as you’re collapsed on the floor. The orange and rose glow are illuminated on your face. You’re sitting so close it seems to lick at your cheeks. Yet you’re brought into a lull as you listen to the crackle and pop, as you allow the smoke to fill your senses. You’re brought in a trance as you watch the fire burn a house down, a quaint home with a picket white fence and large windows with pink curtains. “Your greatest strength is your greatest fear.” There’s a murmur in your ear. It’s unrecognizable. “I know,” you mumble. “You are afraid of one day no longer being able to control the flames that seethes to be unleashed.” “But repress it no longer, dear,” the left voice seductively whispers, hissing softly. “Worry no longer.” “Your magic is incredible and oozes from you.” — “Give into it.” — “Allow it freedom.” “What….about...Yoongi?” you ask, tearing your eyes away from the fire into the darkness. You stand back on your feet, finding balance again. “No.” There’s a sharp inhale to your right. “Leave him.” You scoff automatically, the idea so utterly ridiculous that it’s unfathomable. “I’m not going to do that. I finally found someone that doesn’t find me annoying….” “You could be powerful.” The more it talks, the more you’re coming to your senses. “I already am powerful!” You twist around, dispelling away the hallucination of the burning house with the flicker of your hand. “And I already know how to control my powers! You think I’m some kind of amateur sorcerer?! It doesn’t control me. I control it!” Again, you ignite a fire in your hand and narrow your eyes. In the distance, you catch strands of pale yellow. And you run after him. The voices scream for you to stop, but you fight against the magic that threatens to pull you back. The moment you smother out the flame, you leap at Yoongi. Your arms are thrown around him in an embrace and immediately, his hands wrap around you. Yoongi stumbles back with an infectious smile expanding into his cheeks. The spell dissipates and you find yourself back in the underground remains of the ancient castle. “Don’t let go of my hand again, brat.” “I’m sorry,” you mumble against his neck. Suddenly, there’s a piercing scream that ricochets through the air — one belonging to only Klarinda. You pull away from Yoongi, eyes locked into one another and he sets you down. Your fingers interlace and you follow the sound, turning down the hall once more and entering through the large double-doors to the decaying chambers. A frame of a bed sits in the wide expanse of the room, grayed cloth ripped and drifting over the canopy. Ash and soot sits in a layer on the floorboards, the wardrobe and vanity along the back wall destroyed. There’s a large painting on the wall, but the faces of the couple have been torn and scratched by bleeding fingernails. Your eyes sweep the room within seconds before landing on Klarinda who’s been blighted. She’s fallen over and you come to cover her with your body as you look upon the lich. It’s angular and skeletal with withering flesh stretched tightly across visible bones, dressed in regal finery, reddened drapes that once was vibrant. Yoongi’s knuckles turn white at his grip and he runs towards the creature. He misses, but hits on his second try, slashing it across. He surges forward, yet it does little to the lich that still stands. “Foolish children,” she hisses and grips the blade of Yoongi’s rapier, rendering him immobile. “You aren’t heroes. Your recklessness will bring forth your death. I will not spare you from the choices you have made.” You cast immolation and flames wreathe the lich. She lets go of Yoongi’s weapon and the light of your magic is so bright that you’re forced to look away. At the same time, Klarinda cures her wounds and slowly comes to her feet again. “Do you really think you could defeat me?!” The lich’s snarling voice booms across the room. Pinpoints of crimson light burn in the empty sockets of where her eyes were before they rotted away. She glides forward as if floating on water and a sphere of poisonous gas billows to all corners of the room. “Yoongi!” You cover your mouth with your hand and the yellow-green fog obscures your view. You hear the clanking of metal where he hits the lich and you feel your vision blurring from the poison. But as you narrow your eyes, you’re able to make out the faint shadow of the lich’s form. And a thin green ray springs from your pointing finger in the spell disintegrate, allowing you to hear it’s deafening shriek. You give permission for your phoenix magic to unleash and you’re magically twined in swirling fire, eyes glowing as hot coals. Your flesh sheds bright light into the fog. Behind you, Klarinda murmurs words of restoration and you feel yourself being healed from the poison. The lich is toying with you. You know it. The moment you stepped into here, it could’ve immediately killed any of you with a single word, but instead, it chose to manifest those hallucinations and slowly suffocate the three of you in this poison. The lich glides towards you, but is stopped by Yoongi. Before you can pull him out of the way, she lifts her finger, and he drops to his knees. He screams from the sheer agony that courses up his body. “Yoongi!” The lich casts detect thoughts on him, probing his brain, tearing apart bits and pieces of it. It hums and muses, “How selfless yet foolish. Even in this much pain, you are still thinking about how much you love her.” Yoongi grits his teeth, bumbling upwards to his feet and strikes the monster thrice. The force is enough that she staggers back and tense silence fills the air. You steal the opportunity and come forward next to Yoongi. Your palms press towards the monster to cast fireball, but the roar of the flames never comes. The lich has counterspelled it. Klarinda cries and runs forward with her dagger. “You killed my mother!” “And her soul was delicious to consume,” she snarls and grabs her blade, tossing it aside as if it were a toy. “Yours will be too!” Klarinda sobs as something catches the corner eye. But there’s no chance — not when the lich takes your spell of choice and magic blooms out of her thin fingertips. Fire blossoms from her flesh, thundering out in the force of her rage. You immediately turn to hug Yoongi, arms embracing his body to protect him. But when his hands reach to the back of your neck and he presses your face to his shoulder, you’re not sure who’s protecting who. Yet, the fire never reaches you. Even when it rumbles through the room and the ruins of the ancient castle. Even when the walls begin to crack further and fragments of the ceiling dust down. Even when scorching flames has filled every corner of the space. You raise your head, finding that the ghost of King Lionel is facing the lich. One of his last fragments of magic has been channeled into an aura of life spell, shielding the three of you away. “Enough, Karlis,” he calls out to her softly. “You have done enough harm.” “I thought I banished you!” she snarls out, crouched over as the pinpoints of red lights of her eyes glare at him. “I won’t leave without you.” “Why?!” The voice is jarring to your ears. “The girl you knew is long gone!” Neither of them notice Klarinda who staggers upwards towards the vanity in the corner, struggling to grab her dagger along the way. “Even so, I won’t leave her behind again. I won’t leave you behind. So come with me, Karlis. Leave your anger behind and come with me.” His arm outstretched but the monster cackles horrifically. “Foolish, man! I will not stop until I have destroyed the bloodline that ruined us.” “No one ruined us. It was I who ruled poorly, and you who chose to give up your soul and walk down this path by your lonesome in the wake of your grief. Karlis.” “Never!” she screeches and a gust of wind pushes him away. Then the lich screeches in torment. Klarinda digs the dagger’s blade into the heart shaped necklace on the vanity — the phylactery that holds the life force of the lich. She plunges the weapon several times until her arm strains, until the dagger’s curved against the vanity’s surface, until it slips from her trembling hand and she tosses it aside in the midst of tears. The lich’s bones collide against the floor. Her screams are audible around the room and the red clothing flutters in the air as it drops. You look away with Yoongi, but King Lionel gazes at her until the last moment. Gone. After centuries of terrorizing Pegan’s royal family, just like that. // The sunbeams pierce the sky in pastel shades, painting the clouds in watercolour hues. It breaks away the darkness of the night and the stars of the horizon. Klarinda is silent as she looks onward from the open arched window with her arms behind her back. But you know it’s not her. She’s been possessed by King Lionel, having granted his wish and allowed him to borrow her body. “My last duties as a King have been complete,” he murmurs in her voice. “My business is finished now that I know she hasn’t been left behind.” He turns to you and Yoongi with a dimpled smile. “Thank you. Sorcerer. Knight. Without your help, I wouldn’t have been able to free her from her own treachery.” “It’s not like you gave us much of a choice,” you mumble half-heartedly and he chuckles. “I guess I didn’t. I’m also sorry I’m not able to give you gold or any semblance of a reward when you have bestowed to me such a great favour.” “Having our lives is enough,” Yoongi says, bowing his head and you scoff lightly. The ghosts’ eyes twinkle as he looks at him and then to you. “You really do remind me of her,” he says. “But more strong-willed and self-assured. Something she had greatly missed and led her to her demise.” A sigh releases from him. “The world is blessed to have such great heroes.” The pair of you exchange expressions. “I’m not so sure about that….” You still don’t feel like heroes — he was the one who protected you and Klarinda was the one who destroyed the phylactery. Both you and Yoongi barely did anything other than waltz in there without a plan. In retrospect, that was probably a bad idea but there wasn’t really enough time to figure out battle tactics. Or at least that’s the excuse you’re going to hang onto. The ghost gives an all-knowing smile and turns to the horizon. “My time is here. Thank you for your help, heroes.” Within three seconds, he dissipated from her. Klarinda stumbles and is steadied by Yoongi. She smiles, thanking him before gazing at the pair of you. Two dimples are marked in each corner of her cheeks.

The chaos has come and gone. The moment the lich’s life source was destroyed, the monsters no longer swarmed and spawned on the grounds. The place is no longer haunted either. It’s finally what it looks like — simply, a castle. You came here to find the truth and to confront Yoongi — you never expected to encounter a ghost and a lich. It’s a wonder how it’s possible trouble can find you in so many ways no matter where you go. “Aren’t you cold?” A husky voice pipes up behind you and you’re brought out of your trance. Pale yellow hair joins your side, reminding you of ducklings. It’s still dawn, but you’re at the bottom steps of the garden's gazebo instead of seeking refuge on a soft bed. It was the only way you could get some peace and quiet from your siblings. “I’m never cold.” You turn to him, a fire flickering in your palm. Yoongi tenderly smiles. “How did speaking to Duke Fesan go?” “He’s bedridden, but he’ll make it. He wasn't too badly injured. But he’s grieving with his daughter.” You nod. “And your mother and father?” “They’re fine. A little shocked, but they’re using the opportunity to boast about me. A lot.” A laugh bubbles out of you. “Well, it’s not like they have no reason to. You’re amazing, Yoongi,” you breathe it out with a second thought, as if it were factual and you don’t notice his gaze on you. “How about your own family?” “They’re fine. My sister’s well enough to flirt with Jinha and my brothers are bickering loud enough to give my mom a headache,” you say and he hums. “But we’re leaving in a few hours. They already called the carriage for the afternoon.” “You’re heading back home?” You nod wordlessly. The tension is suffocating. You decide to break it, turning to him while masking a smile. “How was breaking the...other news to the Duke?” “Easier than one would expect. Klarinda asked to call off the wedding and the Duke said it was the doppelganger’s arrangement anyway. It was trying to amass as much wealth for itself as it could.” “That’s good.” “It is.” “Get that sorted and out of the way.” You steal a glance at Yoongi pathetically to find he has an impassive expression and is blankly looking onward. After a moment, he yawns tiredly and then his eyes flicker to you. Instantly, you divert your vision elsewhere, not noticing his smile. “You know,” he says, “the Duke thought it would be unfair to me. Even though it’s going to be called off, everyone already knows about the arrangement. It might be an opportunity for gossip to be made towards the Min faction.” “And what did you say?” “I said that I already had someone else in mind from the start.” Your eyes meet. Pools of deep brown locked into yours. Strands of his blonde hair nearly pricking into his lashes. And it’s an intimate moment as your voice quiets. “Did you really mean what you said on that boat ride. About regretting not asking me to come with you?” The man exhales, “Every day.” “A wedding with me would be awful,” you murmur, barely coherent. You feel how warmth rises to your face and heats your cheeks like a furnace, and for once, it’s not because of the magical fire inside your blood. “My mom would have to have a whole show and if you thought having three siblings was a lot, wait until you meet my cousins and extended family. They multiplied like damn rabbits.” Yoongi tries to put on a stoic face but fails. His grin is all too gummy. “I don’t mind. You haven’t met my brother yet, but he’s just as overbearing. And if anything, my mother would be ecstatic. She loves noble titles, so she’d hit it off with your mother.” “I still want that great big house.” “I would like one too.” “If you haven’t noticed, I really like my food burnt to a crisp like a fiend.” “I don’t mind.” He shrugs. “I always liked my meat especially cooked anyways.” “I’m a con artis—” “No matter what you say, I won’t change my mind, Y/N.” Yoongi’s brow cocks, challenging you straight on, albeit more gingerly than you’ve ever witnessed. “Your persuasions won’t work.” “Yoongi…” “You still owe me that refund.” What? He grins mischievously and you roll your eyes, having no idea why he’s bringing this up and ruining the moment. “Are you serious?” “Very. You scammed me over a year ago and I expect a full repayment. Also, I happen to collect interest. It’s a hefty, hefty interest fee.” “Okay.” You play along. “What do I owe you now?” You’re not sure what to expect. You’re never sure when it comes to him considering he’s so hard to read. But your breath hitches as he lowers himself to one knee and looks up at you with his tender features relaxed into the softest expression. He pulls something out of his pocket. “Nothing. It’ll be me who will owe you, if you would so graciously choose to spend your life with me—” You throw your arms around Yoongi. The both of you collapse onto the soft bed of grass and you giggle infectiously, pulling yourself up from him. “You’re an idiot, you know that? I really thought that for the rest of your life, you were just going to send me letters.” Yoongi grins a gummy smile. His arms wrap around your body and he reaches up to finally capture your lips on his. The two of you kiss each other, making up for the moments where you should’ve done it sooner. It’s sweet, but less than innocent with how eager it is. You only manage to pull away when out of the corner of your eye, you catch curtains shifting from upstairs. “Nosy, aren’t they,” Yoongi laughs. At the left window, your family is crowding around. Taehyung and Lia are shoving each other to get a look, Seokjin has his palms pressed against the glass, your father is grinning while your mother is absolutely astounded. At the right, both of Yoongi’s parents are peeking out owlishly. You see different members of the faction watching in both horror and confusion, having not yet heard of the news that the engagement is broken and assuming that they’re catching him in the midst of a scandal. But more importantly, you see Klarinda smiling infectiously at the top of the tower with her dad coming to look too. “Exciting, isn’t it?” Yoongi teases, “With so many guests watching.” “Is it so hard to get some damn privacy? This is why I prefer being on the move,” you whine and cast invisibility on the both of you. Yoongi laughs, closing the distance to kiss you again.

[Epilogue] “What if this is a trap.” “Then we’ll grab our weapons. But I don’t think it is.” There’s a house in the middle of the peaceful suburbs, placed in the middle of the street in a row of other homes. Built with bricks covered in render and an oak roof with a chimney on the side, it stands tall in a fairly asymmetrical pattern. The windows are large and it looks like the structure has two floors. More importantly, they swear they see the curtains shift on the left side. The two young adventurers step up on the wooden porch, facing the oak double doors. “Do we just….knock?” “I guess.” His fist raps against the surface while she braces herself for an attack. The door swings open. She hitches her breath, but an onslaught of offensive spells never happens. Instead, they see you. In a simple, brown dress and your hair braided in an updo with loose strands framing your full features. Your eyes glisten, giving a smile and the door widens. “Good afternoon! You children look so tired! Come in, come in!” The pair of them exchange expressions before stepping inside. The interior instantly takes their breath — cozy maple and fresh flowers at the entrance way, mementos on a shelf near the open staircase with a magical pull to them. It’s clear that the owners of this house have made it their own. They can tell each object carries its own meaning and memory, not merely for decoration or the purpose of luxury. “My name is Y/N,” you announce, with a light twinkle in your irises. “And I am a servant girl to the lord and lady of the house. May I ask who has entered the home?” “I-I am Park Jimin. It’s said that there’s a great and powerful sorcerer who lives here and a dark knight who’s been to Shadowfell.” “They’ve defeated dragons and liches before,” the girl beside him adds, brows furrowed as she regards you with a healthy amount of suspicion. “Well, it’s very nice to meet you. I’m afraid they’re not here at the moment. They went out to do some bidding, so you might have to wait a few hours until they return,” you inform and the two of them look at one another. “Can I ask for what reason you’re searching for them?” “We have received a prophecy and were sent by Mirla Nistar.” Jimin steps forward. “When lightning strikes twice, a man of darkness shall usher forth a country's doom and the end of wealth. We have reason to suspect that this man is the demon lord, Abraxas, who is trying to rise from Shadowfell.” You hum. “Alright. I’ll let them know as soon as they get back. Would any of you care for tea? I have the best honey and sugar available!” But suddenly, the dimpled boy feels a heavy weight on his mind. It’s a presence pressing on his brain, probing deep and whispering around the caverns of his skull for permission to be let inside. He grips his temples with a groan and his partner turns to him. “Jimin?” He looks off at you and she follows his line of sight. Before she can ask you what you just did, you slip something out of your pocket. In one split second— “Potion?” You hold up the stoppered bottle with the milky liquid sloshing inside. “You have a headache, don’t you? I know it when I see it! Must be from your long travels! Nothing like a rejuvenating potion to feel better.” “I..I’m alright.” Jimin lowers his hand. “Nonsense. You don’t want to miss this chance!” you emphasize. “I bet it wouldn’t even cost you a dime. You’re probably going to spend the same amount on some food or a place to stay at, so why not fork out some now? And it might be helpful for any upcoming adventures or expeditions!” “How much?” the skeptical girl slowly asks and you know you have it in the bag. “Ten gold pieces.” Your eyes glimmer. She digs into her satchel. But then— “What’s with the ruckus?” A rounded face and sleepy features lug down the stairs. He runs a hand through his baby yellow hair shagging in front of his forehead, having just woken up from a long nap. “Who are these people?” “They’re adventurers trying to defeat some demon punk—” “Demon lord,” the boy tries to correct. “—who’s apparently coming back to wreak havoc and steal children.” “Close enough,” he sighs. Yoongi makes a noise of acknowledgment, his expression impassive. Then his eyes dart at them and the potion in your hand. He points. “Are you trying to sell them that?” The corner of your mouth curls. “Maybe.” “Poor folks,” he exhales, utterly ruining your business transaction and not remorseful at all for it. “You’re going to get us into trouble one day.” You scoff. “When haven’t I gotten us into trouble. It’s not new news now.” Your husband grins and comes to sling an arm around your shoulder. He kisses you shamelessly in front of the two strangers, yet it’s a soft and tender gesture. It makes you smile against him. Suddenly, the door shuts behind them and the surrounding warm candlelight ignites. It billows a dim luminescence into the warm home that you’ve both made your own, glowing against the numerous mementos on the shelf that display the many years of your travels and journeys. Yoongi hugs you to his side and you quirk your head onto his shoulder with a sly smile. The adventurers finally come to recognize who the people in front of them are. And the pair of you turn to them. “What was it that you needed again?”

#bts fanfic #bts scenario #yoongi fanfic #yoongi scenario #yoongi fluff #yoongi adventure #bts adventure #yoongi as the stoic knight #and OC as the angry phoenix sorcerer lol #FINALLY AN END TO THE SERIES :D #hope you guys enjoy it #this is gonna be one of those ones that you're gonna need to read the original before the sequel lol #i think it's a hard one to understand without reading the one before

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noethicalconsumptionunderdisney · 3 years

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Ranked: Hannah Montana — Jake Ryan Episodes

Here we are at last: Jake Ryan. I think you all probably could’ve seen this coming, but I had to keep you waiting (and gather my thoughts a bit). Of Miley’s canon love interests, Jake (Leslie) Ryan is the one that gets the most screentime overall, and happens to be my personal favorite match for her, so it only makes sense to dedicate a Ranked post to him. As per usual, I’ll be revealing these rankings from Worst->Best, in reverse-order of how much I liked them.

Which brings us to probably the most unambiguous “Worst” ever:

“The End of the Jake As We Know It” (Season Four)

Yeah. Of all the episodes on this list, this is the only one I actively dislike. I don’t think this one was too much of a shock to anyone, but let me talk about why anyway:

This is the first and only time Jake shows up in Season 4. He’s barely shown in Season 3, which we’ll talk about a little more further down, but he really just seems to appear solely to be dragged through the mud, and then unceremoniously shooed out so Miley can ride off into the sunset with Jesse. I don’t even necessarily have a problem with them breaking up. I wouldn’t be happy about it, but you could at least give a better reason— you’ve done it before! Twice! And there’s a perfectly good reason right there in front of them: they’ve been apart for a while, they liked each other as kids, but now that they’re getting older and growing into separate lives, they’re growing apart. But no, let’s just have him randomly cheat on her, because that’s totally a satisfying conclusion to a multi-season arc. Calling one of your most beloved recurring characters a dick for 30 minutes is peak comedy, amirite?

This is also the only time in Season 4 that Oliver is actually an important part of an episode? He shows up for like 5 minutes in the Finale, but really, the Season 4 episode where he has the most screentime is this one. And while there’s nothing wrong with how Oliver is written here, it just makes a little extra mad, because most of his screentime is focused on this dumbass plot development. I can’t help but think, They brought back my man for this?! on both counts.

But let’s move on to less loathsome episodes, shall we?

“He Could Be The One” (Season Three)

Okay, I might catch some shit for this. I know. This episode’s very popular. I am aware of that. And I don’t actually hate this episode, like with the other one. I like the song, I like Miley asserting herself to her dad when it comes to her dating life, Lilly and Oliver are on-point (although that does kind of apply to the last episode too), and I even liked most of the interactions between Miley and Jake. That said, here’s why I’m ranking it so low:

THE ONLY REASON IT EXISTS IS TO SET MILEY UP WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

Everything from the start of the episode to the weird reframing of Miley and Jake’s complicated past to the focus on Miley bonding with someone else, thinking about that someone else when she’s singing to Jake, talking about how she wants to kiss that someone else so badly except for the inconvenient fact that she’s with Jake, to the episode treating them like equivalent options that are just so hard to decide between despite she and Jesse barely knowing each other and having no history outside this episode… every bit of it is designed to make you like the other guy better and root for the other guy.

And I guess if you haven’t watched the other episodes, or you have but it’s been awhile and you don’t remember them super-well, it’s easier to root for Jesse (ignoring all the problems that he himself has as a character, in this episode, even, but let’s not focus on that right now). But this show can’t trick me that easily, sorry not sorry.

I “should” like this episode more, given that this is when they get back together, but they could’ve gotten them together differently. Instead, we have Lilly berating Miley for going back to her ex after she rejects Jesse, we have Miley… tackling Jake? Did anyone else find that odd? Funny, yes, but weird as hell, and not really indicative of their dynamic. And worst of all, we have them completely rewriting history and hoping we don’t notice. It’s not respectful to list “we have so much history” as a reason to stay with Jake if you can’t be bothered to portray that history accurately. So before we delve into that history a bit, let me make one thing abundantly clear:

Jake did not break Miley’s heart. He’s also not the only one who’s ever fucked up or acted immaturely in their relationship. You wouldn’t know it from watching this, but she’s the one who broke up with him the only time they actually did date. Yeah, it was kind of crappy of him to make her think he was marrying her friend so he could “Gotcha!” her on TV, and it wasn’t great of him to kiss her and then leave in Season 1, but that’s a far cry away from “breaking her heart.” He literally never did. The fact that they framed it that way is not only frustrating, but also some gross foreshadowing for what they ultimately did to his character later on.

That said, the way Jake actually is when he’s onscreen (i.e. when you look at how he actually acts and not just how other people are talking about him) is pretty in-character, funny even. Miley and Jake still have their chemistry and their interactions are amazing apart from that weird tackling thing, and Jake reacting to the cat sweater was something I didn’t know I needed. So objections aside, I do like this episode. Just not as much as what’s to come.

“Jake… Another Little Piece of My Heart” (Season Three)

So while my previous entry was largely dedicated to explaining why it was ranked lower, this entry is going to be a defense of sorts, explaining why this episode, yeah might not be the best, but is a lot better than people remember, or at least is one I’m still very fond of.

In Jake’s last appearance before this, Miley agreed to be “just friends” with him. Here, we see them following up on that. She calls him “one of [her] best friends,” and not only that, she shows that she knows him well enough to know why he, of all people, should not be getting married young. “You change your phone plans every 6 weeks.” How does she know this? Because they kept in contact with each other. They contact each other frequently enough for her to know that he changes his phone plan all the time. They kept their promise! They’re exes, yes, and there’s still tension there as we see in the end, but they genuinely do feel like friends, and not just like they’re awkwardly forcing it.

Miley is understandably pissed when he pranks her, but that’s only because she cares so much, and I do think there’s genuine concern there as a friend, even if she very likely was also jealous. They’re comfortable around each other, they’ve gotten to know each other a lot better, and the hint that there’s still more lingering between them at the end is both promising and open-ended. They don’t get back together right then… but they show that they could, because those feelings are still there, despite everything.

I wonder, though, if this episode would’ve worked better had it aired earlier. We get indications that it was filmed earlier than some of the others, namely that scenes from it show up in the Opening Credits for that season, but for whatever reason, it didn’t air until much later. I’m not sure why, but I do think things could’ve been better had they reintroduced her relationship with Jake (friendship with some lingering feelings) earlier on, had a few more “regular” episodes without him, and then given the two a proper arc later in the season rather than just one episode where they’re like, “We’re back together now! But I also kind of like this other guy! Oh no!” and then he’s not there the rest of the season. But c’est la vie.

Now onto the good stuff:

“Good Golly, Miss Dolly” (Season One)

Honestly, the way the entire Season 1 arc unfolds with them is so natural and beautifully done, I almost don’t feel like it’s fair to dissect them individually and split them up based on personal favorites, because they work best in order and as a unit. But I still have my opinions.

I’ve expressed previously why I love Dolly Parton’s appearance here and why she kills it, but in terms of Miley’s development with Jake, this one remains the most stagnant and frustrating. Painfully realistic, of course, and very in-character for everyone, but of all the Season 1 Jake episodes, this is the one that has the least Jake in it? Which is not really why I’m ranking it lower, but it does put their dynamic into generic “girl clearly likes guy but is too proud and scared to admit her feelings” territory. Which is necessary for their story to develop, but isn’t as fun as the episodes where we actually see why she hasn’t been “falling all over him” up to this point (meaning, her aversion to his personality). And we pretty much end the episode right where we started: once again, Miley’s pining over him, wants to express her feelings for him, but feels like she can’t… only now she’s got a more solid reason not to.

“More Than A Zombie To Me” (Season One)

I was torn at first between this one and the Dolly one, but I ranked this one higher for a few reasons. For one, the storyline is a bit more complex and nuanced. Lilly teases Miley for being in denial of her feelings for Jake, Miley rejects him when he asks her out… but then Hannah Montana has to kiss him. She makes a case for why she shouldn’t have to kiss him… only to realize she wanted to when they actually listen to her. Jake respects her “no” and asks someone else… only for her to realize she wanted him after all. Miley fights with Lilly for Jake’s affections… only for her to realize that her friendship with Lilly is more important than whether or not she “gets the guy.”

Beat for beat, Miley is always one step behind, not because she’s stupid, but because she has too much pride to see what’s right in front of her, to acknowledge her own feelings. It’s not the most pleasant characterization for Miley, but it is very telling characterization, and it paints an interesting picture of her and her relationships to both Jake and Lilly— that she genuinely wants to mean what she says and say what she means, but her pride makes it harder for her to figure out what she actually wants. She genuinely wants to be a decent, down-to-earth person, but sometimes she’s too self-centered to realize how she’s coming off and how she might be hurting others.

What’s most interesting here, though, is Lilly’s characterization and development in the Jake arc. In this episode and the one before it, she’s among the girls who are “falling all over” Jake, even continuing to say “Sup” to him because he said it to her once like it’s their “special thing.” She alternates between starstruck awe over Jake and amusement over Miley’s aversion to him, teasing Miley that she may be protesting too much, and shamelessly drooling all over him to Miley’s annoyance. After this episode, we see her being the supportive friend and #1 Shipper On Deck for Jake and Miley… then firmly against Jake and Miley together after they break up the first time, and from that point on, genuinely over Jake and wanting what’s best for her best friend.

But this episode… this is where we see the switch. This is where we see Lilly giving Miley a fair shot, then taking Jake for herself when the opportunity presents itself. This is where we see her doing something for herself for once and going beyond that “best friend” role… only to realize it’s not meant to be. That Jake only ever had eyes for Miley. That she was the canned fruit cup he settled for after all. It’s painful and heartbreaking, and perhaps a less strong friendship wouldn’t be able to withstand it, but theirs does. Because Lilly does. Because Lilly knows that whatever Miley says, being with Jake would make her happy, and Jake wants Miley more than anyone else. And she’s willing to do whatever it takes to help them be happy together… even if it means she doesn’t get the guy herself. I think Lilly’s role in all this is so underrated, and she deserves massive credit for the maturity and development she displays here.

And of course, we have more characterization for Jake, where he’s… very much himself, but also better than Miley initially gives him credit for. Yeah, he’s still hiding behind his ego and bravado, and he does initially say Miley must’ve been nervous to reject him when he asks her out a second time on the beach, but we also see him accepting that she doesn’t like him back (or so he thinks). We see that he’s sweet to Hannah as a coworker, and then he confides in her that he likes Miley because she’s “cute, funny, smart, down-to-earth,” and because she sees him as a person, not as a superstar. I do think “moving on” from Miley by asking out her best friend, right in front of her, is kind of a dick move (or possibly a jealousy play), and he could’ve made a little more of an effort to be loyal to Lilly as she was his date, rather than being so obvious that he preferred Miley, but overall, I think this is a good episode for developing Jake as someone with hidden depths, and someone Miley could realistically fall for.

(Also, the subplot is comedy gold from start to finish.)

“People Who Use People” (Season One)

Their first kiss! Yeah, there’s no getting around it: this one’s amazing. Their banter is just on point from beginning to end. We have a continuation of Jake and Hannah’s pleasant costar relationship, a continuation of Miley’s ever-more-obvious feelings for Jake, and we have a culmination of the tension between the two in an incredible scene. Once again, this does one of my favorite things: it turns the narrative on its head. We know Miley used Willis to make Jake jealous, but now it’s revealed that Jake was doing the same thing with Holly all along.

“Holly? She’s not my girlfriend. We have a movie coming out, so we’ve been hanging out, it’s a publicity thing.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that before?!”

“Uhhh… well… I-I think I—”

“Wait a minute, I know why. Because you were trying to make me jealous.”

“Was not.”

“Was too. Admit it, Jake, you like me.”

“No, you like me, just say it.”

“No, you say it!”

“No, you!”

*cue Big Damn Kiss*

They spar with each other like this all episode, meeting each other on the same level beat for beat. And Lilly eating popcorn in the background and falling off her chair? Let’s not lie to ourselves, we were all Lilly in this moment. Ultimately, this isn’t the story of “how they got together,” because Jake leaves for a movie, but even that makes some sense. He feels good that he got to kiss her before he left and doesn’t have to wonder what it would’ve been like, she feels angry that he kissed her when he knew he’d be leaving soon, and ultimately his acting career comes before him having a normal life, as it always sort of has, which unfortunately means it also has to come before Miley. But once again, we have an open ending, a clear “not now” rather than a “never,” and a question to be potentially answered in the future: Will They, Might They, and Would It Work Out? And of course, what’s next?

But before we get into that, let’s talk about where it all began:

#3: “New Kid in School” (Season One)

Who doesn’t love a good First Meeting, especially one that starts off with two prospective lovers starting off on the wrong foot? What I love about them starting off on the wrong foot here, though, is that it’s not really due to misunderstandings. On the contrary, Miley is the only person who knows exactly what’s going on— even better than Jake does, I’d argue, because he doesn’t even realize how arrogant he comes across, and Miley’s the only one willing to call him out on it.

This isn’t even particularly a shippy episode, apart from “Also, he thinks I’m cute, not that I care,” but I’d argue it’s better because it establishes them as characters first, and as Foils. Both of them are celebrities attending normal school and who, in theory, want to be treated like normal kids, but while Jake talks the talk and still gets everything he wants, Miley walks the walk and has to lose her celebrity privileges in exchange for peace and privacy. It’s understandable that Miley feels she’s gotten the short end of the stick, and it’s only later, after she’s opened her big mouth of course, when Jake confides in her that sometimes he really does wish he could be normal, it’s only then that she realizes she’s the lucky one.

But of course it’s not too late for her, it’s too early in the show for that! So we see her family coming together in this hilarious scene where they pretend they’re all crazy celebrity-impersonators. As a side note, I like to think they didn’t buy the Elvis costume for this, but that Jackson just had it lying around already and was itching for an excuse to use it. (Maybe he was Elvis for a previous Halloween, idk.)

In any case, the reason I rank this higher is that even though it doesn’t show that Miley and Jake like each other all that much, it shows why they could like each other, which in my opinion is more important. I mean, ideally, you’d have both, but this does a good job of introducing Jake as someone who seems like just another egotistical celebrity Miley can’t stand, but underneath that, is someone who just might understand what she goes through better than anyone, and Miley is the perfect person to understand him right back.

#2: “That’s What Friends Are For?” (Season Two)

The return of not one, but two iconic guest stars in the best and worst way: together. Months after their breakup, Miley finds Jake at her doorstep after sparring with Mikayla, and is sure he’s only there to get her back… but he just wants to be friends. Great! Good, no drama! That’s exactly what she wanted… right?

Even better, he invites her on the set of a talk show so he can reveal his new movie… and his new costar, her archrival Mikayla. The worst part is, he chose Mikayla out of courtesy. He doesn’t know Hannah and Mikayla hate each other, because they act friendly when they’re on-camera. He did it because he values his relationship with Miley, and doesn’t want to ruin their friendship by inviting her to play his love interest. And Miley… well, we all know Miley isn’t as okay with this as she pretends to be, and it only becomes more apparent as the episode goes on.

What I love about this is the role reversal this puts them in. For once, Jake is the one being mature, and Miley is the one that needs to apologize and grow, and admits it. It’s framed that way and everything. It’s almost bittersweet to watch, because this was such a good step for them, and probably the most mature episode involving the two. To see them go backwards in development after this, to see Jake be raked through the coals by the writers, all that good will between them forgotten and retconned and burned to hell later on, there’s just something very bitterly tragic about it. This episode was so important for them, not just as a relationship, but as people, and I wish that good will they had towards each other had remained and gotten a proper follow-up.

Of course, this was itself an excellent follow-up to…

#1: “Achy Jakey Heart” (Season Two)

Was it ever even a question? Jake Ryan returns in glorious fashion: falling from the sky, in a tux, down on one knee begging Miley’s forgiveness, with chocolates from the sky. Say what you will, that man knows his way around a Big Romantic Gesture. And he doesn’t stop there: muffins, “Jake steak,” a cardboard cutout, and barging in the front door in a literal knight costume, he asks what more he can do. More importantly, he says, “You’ve dumped stuff on me, and you’ve yelled at me. The one thing you haven’t done is tell me you don’t care about me. Tell me that, and I’ll go away.” Even after all this, he’s willing to respect her if the answer is “no.” He just wants to make sure it’s “no” because she doesn’t want him, and not because she doesn’t believe he cares for her. He does care for her, and he’s willing to do whatever it takes to prove it.

He gets tested for this pretty much right away, fails in private, and then passes in public when Miley least expects him to. After telling Miley he can’t take her to a movie premiere because he’s pretending to date his costar, he rejects his costar on live TV to confess his love for Miley. He doesn’t do it expecting her to come back, rather, he admits his fault and accepts that for him, there’s no happy ending. And Miley responds in the best way possible, showing up with a “Who says real life doesn’t have happy endings?” and a Big Damn Kiss of her own.

This is also when they confide in each other. Jake tells her his real name is Leslie, and Miley tells him she’s Hannah Montana. They’re vulnerable with each other for the first time in their relationship, and they understand each other better than ever. Unfortunately, it’s understanding, or lack thereof, that also leads to their demise.

Jake wants to be a normal guy, or at least he thinks he does. Miley feels to a certain extent that she is a normal girl, just a normal girl who happened to get famous. And that disconnect, that difference hurts them. Miley realizes that Jake doesn’t actually know what it’s like to be normal, and having to be with someone who can’t handle one night of it, as well as the pressure of being famous as Miley too, is what finally cracks them open. I will say she could’ve handled it a lot better, and good on Jake for calling her out on her lack of communication, but in the end, their relationship is left with a mutual understanding: that Jake respects her secret, listened to what she had to say, and wants to improve. Not so that he can get her back, but so that he can be “worthy of someone as terrific as” her.

This also has ONE OF THE BEST SUBPLOTS OF ALL TIME. Cheese jerky? Capitalist commentary? Jackson rolling in money and Rico being mad about it? Oliver and Jackson doing a rap together? Are you not entertained? Like its main plot, this does end up reverting to the status quo by the end, but it’s done in a way that’s both crushingly realistic and brutally hilarious. Overall, this episode? One for the ages.

So there it is— every Jake Ryan episode, ranked. I have a whole ton more I could say about Jake Ryan, Miley Stewart, and their overall dynamic (and probably will, this week lol nope), but I feel like this is a decent start that outlines my opinions in quite a bit of detail. While not a perfect couple by any means, they sure as hell made the screen a lot more interesting. And hey, the course of true love never did run smooth, why should they be any different?

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randomfandomfamily · 5 years

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Y’ALL SOMEBODY REQUESTED THIS, BUT I CAN’T FIND THE ASK. IT WAS ANONYMOUS, SO I DON’T KNOW WHO SENT IN THIS PROMPT, BUT HERE IT IS. ANON, IF YOU’RE OUT THERE, I HOPE YOU SEE THIS.

Alright, basically the prompt was Little Cato roasting Sheryl after the events of the last episode and honestly? Yes. Light this bitch up, kiddo.

Sheryl raised an eyebrow at the small alien outside the bars. KVN was grinding on her nerves like nothing she had ever known, but this kid was starting to peak her interest. He had just been leaning against the opposite wall staring into her cell intently, like he was studying her.

She knew he was Ventrexian, and she knew from her last visit that he and Gary were close, but she didn’t know why. “Can I help ya, kid? Or are you just going to stand out there and gawk at me all day?”

He shook his head slowly. “I don’t get it.”

“Don’t get what?” KVN asked. “What don’tcha get, Little Cato?” The Ventrexian pushed the robot away.

Sheryl snorted. “Little Cato? What kind of name is that?”

Little Cato shrugged. “The one my father gave me.” He paused to shove KVN away again, who just kept drifting closer. “And I don’t get how a guy like Gary could have possibly come from…” He looked her up and down. “That.”

“Oh, come off it,” Sheryl said. “I had my reasons for doing what I did.”

“I don’t doubt that you had reasons,” Little Cato agreed. “I just don’t believe that there’s a single good one.”

Sheryl smirked. “Oh what a surprise. The child can’t understand the complicated thought process of an adult.”

Little Cato rolled his eyes. “I’m seventy-four years old.” Admittedly that one was a surprise, but she didn’t have much time to think on it. “If there’s one person on this ship who would be able to understand a crazy adult, it’s me.

“So it’s not that I don’t understand you because I’m young and immature…” Little Cato crossed his arms. “You’re just really stupid.”

Sheryl was annoyed to say the least. Where did this kid get off telling her about her life? “Stupid, eh? Well, enlighten me, wise Ventrexian. Tell me just how stupid I am.”

“Oh, gladly.” Little Cato started pacing back and forth across her cell. “You teamed up with Todd Watson, a certified lunatic in a costume. We were all looking for the keys. You could have stayed with us, and Gary would have let you! Because that’s the kind of person Gary is.

“That day we found you, Gary was planning on leaving you for dead, just like you left him,” Little Cato said, “But he didn’t.” He gestured in a vague direction. “And back there? On that disintegrating planet? He had every right to leave you there. He literally had no reason to bring you back. But he did.”

Sheryl rested her elbows on her knees and leaned forward. “Well, that kind of makes him an idiot, don’t it? Bring the person trying to kill him on board?”

“No,” Little Cato snapped, “That makes him compassionate. That’s something you wouldn’t understand.”

The kid wasn’t wrong. She wasn’t compassionate in the slightest. In fact, the only good in her life was John. Any kindness she knew had came from him. She wasn’t going to deny that she was terrible person, she owned it.

So why did that sting so much?

“I know you’re trying to find Gary’s father,” Little Cato’s tone seemed to have softened, but he was still pacing at a clearly agitated pace. “But that doesn’t give you an excuse.”

Sheryl scowled. “What do you know, eh? You don’t know what it’s like to risk everything for someone you love.”

Little Cato stopped pacing. “Actually, I do.” Sheryl blinked in surprise at the sudden seriousness. “My father had orders to kill me.” His hostile gaze turned to Sheryl. “You get that? He was ordered to do it.”

“Ordered? By who?” Sheryl asked.

“The Lord Commander. My father was his second-in-command. It would have cost you absolutely nothing to not try and kill Gary. Not killing me almost cost my father his life, and he still didn’t.” Little Cato narrowed his eyes. “So what’s your excuse?”

Sheryl fell silent, unable to think of a retort. She prided herself on her quick wit, but she truly had no response, not for this.

Little Cato sighed. “That’s what I thought.” He away. “You wanna know something, Sheryl?”

“I have a feeling your gonna tell me even if I say no.”

“I would give anything to have something of my father. Even if it was something small.” Little Cato paused for a moment. “You were so caught up in trying to get back what you lost that you forgot you had a piece of John right there… and you tried to kill him.”

Sheryl watched him walk away, trying to shove down the surge of emotion that welled up inside her. Damn that kid! He was going to be the first person she killed when she got out of this cell.

“Hey Sheryl,” KVN floated in front of her cell. “Hey Sheryl. Sheryl? Sheryl. Sheryl! Hey. Hey, hey, hey! Wanna play a game, Sheryl? Sheryl? Hey Sheryl, can you hear me?”

Okay, make that the second person she killed. She was going to destroy that abomination first.

#final space #little cato #sheryl goodspeed #dadspeed #random disaster writes

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peonybane · 5 years

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Agape and Pragma: Chapter 7

Pairings: OT7 (BTS) x Reader

Word Count: 2.6 k

Genre: Hybrid AU, Fluff, Angst, Sci-Fi, Crack (?), Smut (eventually)

Chapter Specific Notes: Lots of angst, some swearing, more so than usual.

Summary: Your entire world had be torn asunder by just one lab test. Time heals all wounds, but does it really? What will it take to feel whole again?

Hybrid Types: Peacock Jin, Serval Yoongi, Golden Retriever Hoseok, Gray Wolf Namjoon, Scottish Fold House Cat Jimin, Great Dane Taehyung, and French Lop Eared Rabbit Jungkook

a/n: So, I’ve combined what was originally planned as chapters 7 and 8 because they were two ideas that are critical to the storyline, but were short as hell. Should I be posting this this early? No. Do I have any self control? Also no. This chapter is dedicated to @ropeseok as she was the inspiration for a new character in this chapter. Please enjoy!

<— Previous (Chapter 6)

You felt like a child, hiding away in your room for days. You only ever came out to get food or to go to work. It wasn’t so much that you were upset with them still, it was really the shame of acting the way that you did that made you hide away. How could you face them after yelling the way that you did? Was it immature? Of course. Was avoiding them unnecessary? The jury was still out on that.

Luckily though, or perhaps unluckily, they all gave you the space you seemed to need. It was awful, really. You could hear Taehyung stopping in front of your door almost every night, pausing in front of it. There were times you wished he’d put you out of your misery and just knock already. Instead of coming to your door to let you know food was ready, Jin would instead text you, the messages often cold and short. It missed his usual flavor of emoticons. Something you’d grown to love.

Everyday you’d hear them come to your door one by one, but they’d turn around and leave after a few moments of hesitation. After all, what could they say or do?

You knew you should make the first move. But your pride prevented you from doing that. As much as you had hurt them, they had also hurt you. The difference was that you had been bottling up at that pain and had exploded at them when you shouldn’t have. They just reacted to your pain. Not that it was an excuse, but it helped justify your behavior to yourself, if only a little bit.

The all too chipper ping of your phone got your attention. Rubbing the back of your neck, you couldn’t help the little smile that crept onto your face as you saw who texted you.

[Jongin]: You awake? I got a question for you.

You bit your lip as you opened your phone to reply.

[You]: No. I’m dead asleep and texting you from dreamland.

Almost immediately, the three little dots appeared, then disappeared to be replaced by a message.

[Jongin]: You free this Friday?

[Jongin]: I’ve been trying to work up the courage to ask you out on a proper date.

You immediately devolved into a 13 year old girl, barely containing your excite. You hadn’t been on a proper date in what felt like forever.

[You]: Unfortunately, I am busy. I have work. But I can meet you on Saturday for an early coffee.

[Jongin]: Aw poop. I suppose I’ll have to settle for a coffee over a candlelit dinner. I’ll text you the details later! :D

You bit your lip. He was strangely adorable. A little bit like Jimin actual. You could imagine Jongin’s ears flicking the way Yoongi’s did at the prospect of the date.

The sound of your alarm blaring reminded you that you had a different sort of date today. Setting up your laptop on your lap, with your back against the headboard of your bed, you opened up Skype, waiting for Liam to open up your call. A moment later, Liam’s face appeared on your screen and a cheesy grin found its way onto your face.

God, he looked so happy. His beard was fuzzier but was disappointingly still a little skinny. The words were out of your mouth before you could stop them. “Is she not feeding you enough? I was promised 20 pounds. 20!”

Liam’s booming laugh hit your ears immediately. While he tried to get himself under control, Deeba entered the frame and deposited herself on his lap. You’d never get over how pretty she was with her shoulder length black tresses and pale brown eyes.

“Hi Deeba.”

She greeted you with a smile as well. “What is this about not feeding him enough? I try, I really try. But this bastard decides, ‘Oh no! It’s not good for the patients to see me like this!’ And proceeds to work 12 plus hours at the hospital, barely eating! Can you believe him?”

You cackled as Liam attempted to pacify his wife by kissing her on the cheek and stroking her hair. Once he had her calmed, Liam turned his attention back to you. His brow knit together as he tilted his head. “Shortstack? Why are you in your room? Aren’t you usually in the living room for this?”

Damn Liam and his observant nature. You shrugged, trying to look as uninterested as possible. “Felt like just hanging out in my room. That’s all.”

You may have bamboozled Deeba, but not Liam. He accusingly called your name. “What happened?”

You sighed, reaching to rub the back of your neck. “I yelled at them.”

Deeba asked, “Yelled at them? That’s all?”

“It’s not like that. It’s not how Jin and I would yell at each other from across the kitchen. It’s not how I’d scold Namjoon for accidentally breaking something because of the lack of tail spacial awareness. I….”

Liam used his dad voice on you, calm, reassuring, but no room for weaseling your way out. “What happened?”

You took a moment collecting your thoughts. “They’d been… acting weird. And a few nights ago. I had enough. I lost my temper.”

This peaked Deeba’s interest, specialized in Hybrid psychology after all. “How did their behavior change?”

“Well… it was different for each of them. But if I had to name something overall: they’ve been more intimate, aggressive, dominant even. Yoongi is needier, but just for my attention. Jungkook has been extremely affectionate. Namjoon too. Though it’s harder for me to describe because from the outside, it doesn’t necessarily look like his behavior changed, but he’s… softer. I don’t know how else to describe it.” Your voice began to tremble. “Jin and even Tae have gotten more aggressive. Tae! Can you even believe it? The other night I had to get in between Jin and Jungkook— a fight Jin started. Hobi and Jimin have been… seductive. Always trying to act dominant around me. And—“

Your eyes started to water. Taking a moment to wipe your eyes, you collected yourself. “When… when I came back from my business trip, I came home to a fight, I lost it. I couldn’t handle it anymore. I hurt them. I hurt them so much with my words.”

The other end of the call was silent as you cleared your vision of the hot blurry tears. Deeba then asked a very odd question. “Is your cycle out of whack?”

“What?”

“Deeba, my love, I don’t think that’s an appropriate questi—“

“Liam, you’re a doctor! You shouldn’t be getting all squirrelly at this sort of question.”

“Yes, but this is my best friend— someone who is like my sister.”

Deeba rolled her eyes. “Well?”

You hesitated. “Now— now, that I think about it. Yeah. It started about 6 months ago. I’d start getting them a few days later than usual, but a couple of months ago, I completed skipped one. I just kinda figured it was my body coming to terms with not being able to get pregnant.”

Deeba worried her bottom lip with her teeth. “I’ve read something like this before. Some Hybrids have stronger baser instincts than were previously thought. Aggression and dominance in particular. Occasionally though, the hormone cascade in some that brings out the aggressive nature in some, brings out stronger affectionate behavior that aren’t necessarily portrayed by whatever animal that Hybrid was crossed with. There’s even been a suggestion that Hybrid hormones can affect normal humans. So, long as there is either a long exposure or high concentration of said hormones. You’ve been affected by both factors. I think their pheromones are effecting yours, giving you a pseudo ‘heat.’”

You tilted your head, brow furrowing. “I kinda follow but not entirely, Deeba.”

She hesitated. “At least three of them, if not all, are in love with one of their housemates. But, based on the behavior that you described, they are in love with you.”

“What?” You forced out a laugh. “You can’t be serious? One of them? In love? With me? Don’t be silly.”

The look on both Deeba’s face and Liam’s told you that they were dead serious. “Liam, she can’t be right. It’s ridiculous!”

“Shortstack… she’s right. Before I left, I knew. I knew one of them was in love with you. But he didn’t want to do anything to make you uncomfortable. He was willing to be at your side, to comfort you, to protect you, until you were ready. But if he felt threatened by one of the others’ developing feelings for you, feelings that were the same as his, I can see him trying to establish his place as a higher member of the pack, both to deter the others and to prove to you that he’s the worthy… mate.”

“Are… are you talking about Tae?”

Liam visibly swallowed. “It’s not just him. Hobi would never admit it, but I think he had, still has, feelings for you, as well.”

You scoffed. “This… this ridiculous!”

A muscle twitched in his face before Liam raised his voice at you. It made you shrink in on yourself, even if he was in some other part of the world. “You’ve been doing this since Taka! You don’t think you deserved to be loved ever again. You keep denying yourself the prospect of it. Why? Just because you can’t give birth? Well, they can’t have children, either! You have closed yourself off, putting yourself through more pain than you deserve. Stop it and take a chance! Believe in them. Stop lying to yourself. I know that you are in love with at least one of them! Even if you can’t see it yourself because you’ve drowned yourself too much in your own self-pity.”

Before you or Deeba could get another word in, Liam ended the call, leaving you in silence.

He was right. Dammit, he was always right. He knew you better than you knew yourself. What were you going to do now?

^~^~^~^~^

“—Hey! Are you listening?”

You jumped a little as Amber called your name. “I’m sorry, Amber. What were you saying?”

Amber was one of your authors. She was a tall woman with long, dark brown hair and dark eyes. Every time you saw her, she dazzled you with her wild and artistic makeup, often in bold colors and glitter. Here she sat across from you in the corner booth at your favorite cafe to meet up with her for work. Her gaze pierced you out from under her black beret.

“I’ve been calling your name for the last few minutes. Come on. Talk to me. Something is distracting you.”

She sipped at her tea as she watched you like a hawk. Sometimes, you wondered if she was a hawk Hybrid. You sighed. “It’s nothing, Am. Let’s continue.”

“Nuh-uh. Don’t pull that bullshit with me, girl. You and I both know that we ain’t doing shit when one of us has something on our minds.”

You let out a small chuckle. “Can’t get anything past you, huh?”

“Nope. I’ve been with you the longest of your sci-fi brood. You can’t pull the wool over my eyes.”

This was why you two got along so well. Amber continued as she glanced down at her cup. “Does, uh, this have anything to do with Namjoon?”

You felt the blood rush to your cheeks. “What… what makes you think this has anything to do with him?”

“Namjoon and I do research in the same library. Something was… off about him. Didn’t help that he was picking up books from the interlibrary loan desk on Hybrid psychology.”

Sighing, you leaned back in your chair. “Liam,” you paused, unsure of how to even begin, “Liam thinks my roommates are either in love with each other or in love with me because… because they’ve been acting weird.”

“Weird how?”

So, you set about explaining to Amber about how oddly they’ve been acting. And about how poorly you responded in kind to them. She listened intently. Once you had finished, she thought for a moment. “Do you love them?”

“What? Of course.”

Amber shook her head. “No. Not like how you love Liam. I’m talking ‘ooey-gooey lovey-dovey take me here on this table’ type of love.”

“Amber!”

“What? Would you rather me describe as it as ‘make me a candle lit dinner then fuck me on the sofa’ type of love,” she asked, all the while maintaining a perfectly straight face.

You gaped at her. “Amber! We’re in public!”

Amber just laughed. “Whatever, bitch. So? You in love with any of them? All of them?”

Her powerful gaze genuinely made you reflect upon yourself. Were you in love with any of them? It would certainly take a more than a mere moment’s thoughts to confirm it, but— a little voice at the back of your mind whispered, ‘yes, you loved them, all of them.’ A soft smile found its way onto your face.

Amber gave you a big cheesy smile. “I knew it! You love them!”

She squealed like a 13 year old girl at a concert, earning you two looks from your fellow cafe patrons. You giggled at her reaction. “Calm down. Everyone’s looking at us. And, let’s assume for a moment, maybe, and I mean maybe, I was in love. With all of them. What can I do? I don’t want to hurt any of them more than I already have. And… I have a date tomorrow. Jongin was the first Hybrid I ever considered dating. I can’t not give him a chance.”

“Well,” Amber swirled her straw in her tea, “I’d say meet with this ‘Jongin.’ But only after you’ve given serious thought to how you feel about your roommates. If being with Jongin invokes the same feelings in you, then I’m wrong: you’re not really in love with them. Just a different type of love. But, if you don’t feel the same way about Jongin and it’s not a more intense feeling, then I’d say turn him down gently. If he’s a Hybrid as you say, he’d probably smell them on you. So, he might naturally accept the fact that you won’t return his affection. Or he’ll go feral. One of the two.”

You rolled your eyes as she laughed. “Thanks, Amber. Really helped ease my worry.”

She calmed down and reached across the table to grab your hands, squeezing them reassuringly. “But for real: maybe this is an opportunity— a chance to live guilt-free. You’ll be with someone, or maybe even someones, who won’t have any expectations of you carrying their children. Besides, from personal experience, the difference in anatomy can be a real plus.”

“Amber!”

“What? What did you think I was referring to? Dirty girl. I was talking about rubbing ears and warm cuddle buddies. Get your head out of the gutter.”

She smirked at you over the rim of her cup. You knew what she was implying and quite frankly, the idea made you blush. After all, you had never really considered the implications if you really did go ahead with a romantic relationship with any— or all of them.

Was it possible?

Would you be happy?

More importantly, would they be?

As always, reviews, comments, asks, and tags are always loved! ~Peony

Also, please note that I do NOT do tagging lists. Please see my FAQ for why.

Next (Chapter 8) —>

Agape and Pragma Masterlist

Masterlist

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kaijonginie · 4 years

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Uncontrollable - Kai

Title: Uncontrollable Word Count: 2,700 Genre: smut, fluff, story + boyfriend!Kai, college au, light masturbation, ‘punish’, little part of Kai pov A/N: i did some research for this one, so hope you like it! Couple No. 1(part 2)

“Why don’t you come over?” Kai asked changing his tone noticeably. You pulled the phone from your cheek to give a glance. Pretending to see if it was actually him.

“Is that a joke?” You raised your voice gaining the attention of the 30 people also walking to the library. You smiled cheesily, embarrassed at the judgmental eyes.

He scoffed over the phone, “What do you mean?!”

“I told you I have to study for mid-terms! And your response is I do it at your house! Pfft! Yeah.” When you got to the steps you settled to hear his laughable excuse.

“Well, yeah. I have to mid-terms too, I can help!” He reasoned with you.

“If I come over, you and I know no “studying” will happen,” He gasped loudly. As if you were speaking lies. “I’m not arguing with you.” Quickly, you smacked your teeth as you were easily drawn to the red button to end the call. Just as you ended the call abruptly and his cute photo disappeared; you could only feel the guilt build up in your throat. You opened his texts and typed: “I’ll call you later” Only a second later did it read: ‘read’

You sighed, choking on your own breath wasn’t fun. You knew that you had barely seen him in the past two weeks. Even you were hungry for his hunger. You snapped your fingers repeatedly - a habit you picked up in high school to cope with nervousness.

You turned back to the stairs to step on each step. You felt your skirt hike up your waist. It scared you to think about how many guys were trying to look up it. You smooth the skirt out trying to pull it back down to its original place.

Inside the library, it was more crowded than usual, and even though it was three days before mid-terms this was still much. You scanned the room for just one single empty chair. It was in the corner, but it was better than nothing.

After you put your over-the-shoulder bag on the table. You searched the aisles for a textbook on basic history. Up and down the aisle you couldn’t find a thing. Until at the end at the very top, the exact book you were looking for was barely visible. You cringed, knowing that if you tried reaching for it your skirt would work against you. You sighed before making a reach for the title. One hand trying to snatch the book, the other pulling down your hem. All the while you were unwarily pulling on the delicate lace of your panties. Your sharp nails started cutting into the weak fabric. Before you knew it the ripping noise alerted you. You pulled back and went into a dark shadow of the library. You gasped realizing that half of your ass was exposed!

You needed out! You went for your bag, halfway to it you hear a cruel cat whistle in the crowd of focused people. You can’t pinpoint it, but it sure does boil your blood anyways.

“Immature.” You mumble to yourself. You reach into your bag aimlessly for your phone. You can only find it by the rough crystal DIY case it has. Grasping it by both sides. You press the power button. Reluctantly you open Kai’s text-only saying the word “ok”.

You know that if you ask to come over, it’ll be humbling but quite a blow to your pride. You slowly press the keyboard telling him that your way.

Kai POV

I wasn’t amusing myself. I was stilling beating my self up. The fact that my girlfriend thinks I can’t control myself baffles me. But it got me thinking...is she right? It can’t be! The last time I saw her all we did was kiss and eat dinner. She even slept over, and nothing happened. She’s just making excuses. I sighed aloud.

My eyes went down to rest in my palm for a moment. It stayed that way until my phone notified me of a text. I lifted myself out of my pitiful state peeling off the sofa in the centre of my bedroom. Immediately I lazily grab at the screen until I am completely gripping on it. I turned the screen on and she has texted me! I rapidly unlock it anxious to see if it was all a misunderstanding.

“Oppa, I hope it's okay...I want to visit you now^^”

A sigh of relief leaves my lips, I begin to reply to her text: “It’s a long way from campus Y/N. Do you want me to come to get you?” I hear the rain outside begin to hit my windows urging me to add another text. “I hate it when you walk in the rain.”

Three dots pop up, then they disappear. One more time and she responds.

“No, It’s okay I have an umbrella~”

I pout. She turned me down again. I take a deep breath deciding whether or not I should continue this conversation. I slam the phone down in anger as if I was moving on from it. I stormed to the bathroom door, slamming it behind me. I took one glance and I was already fixing my hair. I focused in on my hair. Moving the hairline back and forth. My frustration got the best of me.

“Screw it!” I yelled.

I started at the hem of my shirt stripping it slowly in pace. When my shirt was blocking my face the lusty image came to my mind: her taking my shirt off for me. I winced. Internally begging myself not to think like that. But I couldn’t stop. A whole scenario played in my mind, of me fucking her till I basically pass out.

“Cold shower it is!” I announced to myself.

I spun around to the glass door, the crystal clear glass door. I reminded myself that my jeans were most definitely still on. As excited as I was for this shower I lingered in removing my pants at all.

I took another two steps and one more into the large spaced shower. I stepped under the showerhead as if it was a spotlight. I was very reluctant when turning on the cold water and not the hot, but I still ended up turning it on. Like needles in my skin, the water was almost painful until I got used to it like I would in a pool.

It dripped down my face to my lips and to my neck. I tried to pry my eyes open but one involuntary blink and I was still seeing her mouth engulfing my dick. I cried out. I wanted to open my eyes but I couldn’t. My head fell to the tile wall in front of me. And my hand was almost instinctively sliding to my hard length. Seeing what I was seeing while stroking myself ever so gently, I was merely tasting faux satisfaction.

I don’t think I’ll be able to control myself around her at this point.

Your POV

You ran down the stone path to his house. You were barefoot at this point. Your cloth Converse shoes were more important than your now cold feet. An arm's length away from the lock you reached into your bag desperately for the house key Jong-in had given you. “Where is it!” You whined. Hyperventilating worried you had dropped it or left it somewhere. “Please.” You begged. when you heard the key chain shake you tracked it down, seizing it frantically.

You jangled the keys in front of the lock, using one hand to hold the umbrella and the other to find the matching key. Once found, you jabbed it into the door, then shoving the door open when it clicked.

You stood up straight throwing your umbrella to the floor. All the lights were off. You could see everything but no lights were on. You dropped your shoes behind the door and started travelling up the wooden stairs.

“Oppa?” You called out slightly. You didn’t yell it loudly, seeing as barely anyone was home you reckon he would have heard you. You got to the top of the staircase and peered up. All doors were closed except for his. Before going on, you fixed your strap and your skirt.

When you got to his door, you tiptoed in and suddenly felt more comfortable. You dropped your bag and kept on to the bathroom. The sounds coming from it peaked your interests. “Oppa?” You called again.

The moaning stopped, and he replied “Y/N! I’ll be out in a second!” He insisted nervously.

You shrugged and backed away to your bag. Grabbing your phone and tossing it to the perfectly made bed. Your hands went on the waist-line of your panties pulling them down, glad to be rid of them. You moved on to the lone clean close basket beside his couch. Digging through it in search of the underwear you left 3 weeks ago after making a quick escape from his parents.

No sign of them.

You stood up to the dark wooden wardrobe in the corner of his spacious room. You kneeled down to the mini drawers at the bottom of the closet. Digging through seemingly-endless pairs of socks and underwear.

How hard can it be to find a bright yellow pair of panties?

As you began to give up you noticed the light fabric underneath it all. You pulled them out, stood up, and closed the wardrobe as it was before.

You went to the right side of his bed where your phone was. You rested on the edge of the bed forgetting about the panties which you planned on putting on. You went into your pocket for your AirPods. Taking them out quickly and putting them in without a second thought.

You opened up Instagram. Scrolling endlessly. Double-tapping. Everything was unamusing and simply boring. You with your legs barely one the floor, and in a state of trance; didn’t even realize that the shower was off and Jong-in no longer in it.

You were distracted by your phone when you felt to hands slide onto each side of your ass and massage smoothly. Your head leapt up and looked back. Jong-in starring at your exposed ass, merely drooling at the sight. He closed his eyes and stopped his hands. He stuttered out the shy words. “I need you.” You looked down almost ashamed.

You frowned at his distraught face. You took out your AirPods and put them back in the Winnie the Pooh case. You shook your head. “Are you sure?” Chuckling out whilst questioning him. “, because if you really did you would already have me naked and begging for it.” You narrowed your eyes, cocky and sure of yourself. Hoping you would get him to fuck you.

His hands started again and he revealed: “I’m afraid I'll be rough.”

You stood up looking at him face-to-face. Taking the lead with a kiss. You started to run your hands through his thick hair. His hands travelled up the back of your shirt, unclipping your bra you pulled back giving him a deep stare. At this point, he was so afraid of making the wrong move. He went on a limb and started sucking on your neck, making you moan under your breath.

Running out of skin to kiss he pulled the neck-line of your tight t-shirt. You scoffed and pulled it off yourself along with your bra. You pinned back to his lips and he started to stick his tongue in to explore you more. You started to release yourself bit his lip sending adrenaline through him. He hands still caressing your back then slid down to the zipper of your black skirt. When it dropped to the floor, he pulled your bare pelvis to his to feel his staff stabbing through his towel. He snatched your waist again turning you around pushing you to the bed.

You on your stomach, crawling up on all fours resting on your elbows. He stood behind you, untucking the towel still wrapped around his waist.

You didn’t know when h-- Your walls clenched around him, the cold shower making him nearly chilled. He almost fell over after feeling your walls around him making him groan loudly. Once he stood back up straight, immediately his hips starting thrusting into you. Now your breaths were matching his thrusts, however, his were rapid pants.

Pulling your hips further into him you moaned with the deeper feeling. You encouraged him with each cry of his name you shouted. When you tensed up your end was near. “I’m gonna cum!” You insisted. Without a second Jongin replied, “Not yet, baby.” You tried holding back. But only a moment later did you let go. He slapped your ass, “Bad girls who don’t listen need punished.”

He pulled out and turned you on your back. You backed up until he grabbed your ankles. You followed him as he snaked up on you. He hung over you, set at your entrance once again. You laughed and requested, “Do better this time will you?” Only sparking his ego further. Almost annoyed by you he was abruptly in shoving his dick in you. You weren’t expecting this much force, in return, your nails dug into his back making him howl “Ow, fuck, Y/N!” He started thrusting harder and faster. Your moans started to be screams. “Oppa!” You called out. “Please!” You weren’t sure why you were begging for more, but you knew he sure did listen. The nails, which were still in his back, starting scratching marks into his. His snatched your arms from around his back and pinned them beside your head. He got lost in his throbbing trying to reach his orgasm. He threw his head back when you clenched around his member. His hands let go of your wrists, and his face fell into your neck. He began nibbling on your collar-bone. Whilst your hand stroked the back of his head and the other rested on his back.

At this moment he felt his orgasm coming. He started to groan while still buried at your neck. “Aw, fuck! Baby, I'm gonna cum!” He yelled helplessly. He started to moan your name each time he went in deeper. “Y/N!”

You wrapped your legs around his hips as he came. You cried out as he pulled out. He lifted his head up to give you another kiss. Smiling brightly he asked, “How about a cleanup?” You nodded vigorously as he dropped down. He started in between your breasts, before taking one in his mouth. The travelling further down, giving butterfly kisses to each inch of your sensitive skin.

When he was finally eying your soaked pussy, he licked his lips and said: “Baby, you look so good.” One of his hands went to rub your clit softly, wary of how sensitive you are right now. You swallowed down one moan before letting out a louder one. His finger stopped and his mouth went to your clit. Sucking on it hardly and roughly. You grabbed each of your nipples giving a good massage before nearly smashing them between your fingers. Now biting on your clit he was ready to taste you. His tongue made a trail to your entrance. Then both his hand and his tongue went it. Beating in and out of you. His other hand went in too, on each side of your opening; allowing for easier access inside of you. You felt each digit add a second, both pumping in and out of you. “Yes, Oppa!” You yelled. Quickly, you reached for his head pulling him closer. Driving his tongue further in your pussy. His fingers found their way deeper than his tongue, they were syncing and stretching you. By the time you could catch your breathe his fingers were curling on the inside. Forcing a pleased scream from you. “Yes!” You shouted. His swipes and circles were hard to keep up with, you rocked your hips to feel them further. “I’m----” You had finally come. And Jongin was there licking every drop of your sweet juices up.

He came up for air and found a comfortable resting place on your stomach. He caressed your waist and spoke after a long silence. “Thank you, baby.”

You smiled weaving your fingers in his locks again. “I love you, Y/N...” He admitted aloud.

You sighed peacefully before replying - “I love you, Jong-In.”

#kpop #k-pop #k pop #kai #kim jong-in #jong-in #exo #smuts #kpop imagines #kpop smuts #kai imagines #kai smuts #exo smuts #exo imagines

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solartranslations · 4 years

Text

VF Ash Chapter 4: Closing the Distance

She hurt Ash. Will her heartfelt words reach the lone “magician”…

Gli Amanti: Good evening, Ojou-san. I am the Major Arcana that dwells within you, “Gli Amanti”

Gli Amanti: “Il Bagatto” seems to resent you quite a bit now. I apologize, as my powers may have been the cause

Gli Amanti: As “La Morte” says, my pure-hearted master

Gli Amanti: I wish for you to help those who have been hurt

Gli Amanti: Once you do, the bond between the two of you will allow me to lend you my power…Fortuna’s powers are not to be used lightly after all

Gli Amanti: This will be a small way for you to atone for hurting him

Gli Amanti: When we are hosted in the living…we may cause trouble at times, but we display the characteristics our cards in their upright positions…

Gli Amanti: But should we be hosted in the dead…we will become inverted…and this is not our proper form

Gli Amanti: And that is the cause of “La Giustizia”’s current state…it should be a power that full of light, but now it is a mere shadow if itself and that is saddening to see

Gli Amanti: Please help them, and the lone “Il Bagatto” as well, my kind Ojou-san

~*Scene: VF Deck*~

Nova: Liberta. What evidence do you have that he’ll be on the deck?

Liberta: That’s where we usually go! When people who live at sea are in a bad mood, they usually go there. Especially children!

Nova: *sigh*…That’s not evidence. Isn’t that more of your intuition?

Liberta: Huh? Is it?

Liberta: See, look over there Ojou!

❤≪Liberta≫ Seems excited

Place: I knew it!

Person: Ojou, I was right

>Ash! Please come down!!

>I don’t think he’ll come down if I ask…

Ash: ……

Liberta: Huh!? Don’t tell me you’re going to climb up there?

Nova: With those boots!?

~*Flashback: VF Ash’s Cabin Deck 2*~

Ash: I want to save Joshua as soon as I can

Ash: Does that mean everything you’ve said up until now is just you repeating whatever you saw in my heart?

Ash: This makes me sick…you steal and spy into my heart…Arcana Famiglia seriously is a criminal organization

Ash: I was right to bring the Tarocco back to this ship. It’s impossible for people like you to not have any regrets

~*End Flashback*~

Felicita: *dash*

(*creak)

Liberta: Ojou, don’t! I’ll lower it so just wait!

Nova: Idiot, don’t look up!

(*shaky)

Liberta: But it’s dangerous for Ojou if I don’t keep watch!! Ahh! Nosebleed!

Nova: You’re so immature…

(*creak creak)

(*climbs up)

>Ash, look at me so I can apologize

(+30 Amore)

>I’m sorry

(+20 Amore)

>……

(-10 Amore)

Ash: …Huh?

Ash: You think apologizing is all it takes?

Ash: Forgiving you doesn’t help me at all, and it doesn’t feel genuine either

(Skip the next dialogue choice box)

Ash: ……*sigh*

Ash: You think I’ll just talk to you if you keep quiet?

(Skip the next dialogue choice box)

❤≪Ash≫ Seems irritated ❤≪Ash≫ Doesn’t seem interested ❤≪Ash≫ Seems irritated

Person: You’re looking in my heart anyway, aren’t you?

Person: Just look and be disappointed

???: I can’t see very well here

Person: Just look and be disappointed

Person: I can’t trust what you say

???: I can’t see very well here

Person: So she’s just going to stay quiet

Person: What a joke

???: I can’t see very well here

>I’m sorry for looking into your heart

(+20 Amore)

>I regret looking in your heart without permission

(No Amore)

Ash: …And?

Ash: Then regret it by yourself…

~*Flashback: VF Ash’s Cabin Deck 2*~

Ash: Show me your stigmata

Ash: I see…If you won’t show me then I guess you don’t want to apologize

~*End Flashback*~

Felicita: …

>…I want you to understand, so I’ll prove it…

(No Amore)

>I’m not making excuses, I came to tell you that

(+20 Amore)

Ash: What do you mean?

Ash: Tell me…?

❤≪Ash≫ Seems confused ❤≪Ash≫ Seems concerned

Person: What’s she going to do?

Person: …What a joke

???: I can’t see very well here

Person: What’s she going to do?

Person: …What a joke

???: I can’t see very well here

Felicita: …

(*unties) (*unbuttons)

>I won’t read your heart. So please listen to me

(+15 Amore)

>I want you to answer me in your own words too

(+30 Amore)

>Now you can tell if I’m using my powers

(No Amore)

Ash: It was…there

Ash: Your stigmata…

Ash: Yeah…I can tell but…

Ash: Why are you going so far?

Ash: I took my feelings out on you too! Didn’t that hurt!?

~*Flashback: VF Ash’s Cabin Deck 2*~

Nova: Couldn’t you take this as an opportunity to reflect on using your powers in thoughtless ways?

Nova: We live on our little island…surrounded by a small population of people that understand us

Nova: You shouldn’t think of that as a given

~*End Flashback*~

Felicita: …

>You made me rethink how I use my powers…I’m grateful for that

(+20 Amore)

>I don’t think I would have realized if I didn’t have someone to tell me

(No Amore)

Ash: You sure are honest. That didn’t sound fake at all

Ash: …The hell…You have even more honor than me

Ash: I really was the one in the wrong

Ash: Someone to tell you…

Ash: Yeah. I’ve had my dad and Joshua tell me off about stuff before too

Ash: I hurt you by saying all those things without thinking about your situation too…I’m sorry

Ash: Felicita, I’m moved by your courage

Ash: …And I want give you a proper answer…

Ash: When he died, I promised my father that I would protect this ship

Ash: This ship is a place where souls with regrets caused by the Tarocco can rest when they can’t go to heaven

Ash: And until they can find their way…it’s my family’s duty to watch over them…

Ash: It’s because I made that promise, that my dad was able to leave this ship behind

Ash: I told you about the alchemist who made the Tarocco, right?

Ash: That alchemist took responsibility by making this ship and passed it on to us

Ash: …My dad always sounded so proud when he talked about it…

Ash: And Joshua will also be a passenger on this ship until he disappears

Ash: I have a duty to protect my passengers, and I also think of him as family

>Arcana Famiglia will be victorious

(No Amore)

>Then fight me, and show me that you’re serious!

(+20 Amore)

Ash: Yeah, I get it

Ash: I will…you better not regret this

Ash: If I win, you’ll help me

Ash: If you win…I’ll return the Tarocco. Deal?

Felicita: Yeah

Ash: Then let’s head to the deck

Ash: Sorry…come down after you fix your clothes

~*Scene: VF Deck*~

Nova: It’s great that they worked it out, but why do they have to fight afterwards…

Liberta: Idiot, this is how you avoid future arguments! It makes sense to do what the winner says after they both give it their all!

Nova: But, she’s Papa’s daughter!

Liberta: Yeah! That’s exactly why she would do this!

Nova: …I guess you’re right. It’ll be fine. If she happens to lose, then I’ll just fight him

Liberta: That’s my job! Oh…they’re starting

Ash: So you’re not going to let your friends help you…are you that confident?

❤≪Ash≫ Seems concerned

Link: It was hard to have my trust betrayed

Person: You can’t know unless it’s with one of the living

Link: That’s why…

>There’s no point if it isn’t one on one

(+10 Amore)

>I want to win against you

(+20 Amore)

Ash: Hah…I’ve never met someone like you before

Ash: You’ve peaked my interest

Ash: I’m the one who’s going to win

Ash: …I’m the one who needs to win!

❤≪Ash≫ Seems thrilled ❤≪Ash≫ Seems thrilled

Daily: I’m going to fulfill my goal my way

Person: This is getting interesting

Link: You’re going to help me with Joshua

Daily: I’m going to take back my pride

Link: You’re going to help me with Joshua

Daily: Yeah…

Felicita: …

Ash: …Let’s do this…

❤≪Ash≫ Seems thrilled

Daily: Right now, all I’m going to do—is fight!

(*glare) Ash: I won’t hold back…!! Alright!?

Dodge!

>Hit

(+50 Amore)

>Miss

(-50 Amore)

Felicita: *dodge*

(*whack) Felicita: Ah!

(*slide)

(*bam!) Ash: I’ll end this now!!

(*dodge)

Felicita: Hya!

Attack!

>Hit

(+50 Amore)

>Miss

(-50 Amore)

(*whack) Ash: Ug!

(*dodge) Ash: Haah!

(*shing)

Ash: When I…turn into a tiger, I lose my senses after a period of time…

(*whish) Ash: …My dad’s life ended by my claws…

Dodge!

>Hit

(+50 Amore)

>Miss

(-50 Amore)

Felicita: *dodge*

(*whack) Felicita: Ah!

(*whoosh) Ash: By the time my dad fed me an apple…my hands were covered in blood…

(*step) Ash: And my father’s leg was bleeding badly…

(*whish) Felicita: Hya!

Attack!

>Hit

(+50 Amore)

>Miss

(-50 Amore)

(*whack) Ash: Guh…

(*dodge) Ash: That won’t hit!!

(*glare) Ash: That’s when I promised him…!!

~*Flashback: VF Cabin*~

Sergey: Ash, you don’t need to cry anymore. You’re all grown up, right?

Sergey: If you have time to cry, then go peel me an apple

Ash: But Dad…I, I…

Sergey: Come on, it’s amazing that you can turn into a tiger. Right, Joshua?

Sergey: When he made the tiger transformation elixir a year ago, I thought he was a genius

Joshua: Yes. Ash, you possess extraordinary talent

Ash: Then I’ll use that talent to heal you…

Sergey: You can’t, Ash. This injury won’t heal. Soon, my life will come to an end

Ash: Dad…no!

Sergey: Then promise me

Sergey: Promise me that you’ll watch over the passengers of this ship in my place

Ash: Dad…

Sergey: You’re mastering your alchemy skills so you can take over this ship someday, right?

Sergey: Keep the flame in the power reactor burning. Joshua will be with you, so I have no regrets

Ash: Dad, what about my future…?

Sergey: Don’t worry. You have your promise with me. And Joshua will see it through

Joshua: That’s quite a responsibility…I’m dead, you know

Sergey: Joshua…I have a request

~*End Flashback*~

Ash: Haaah…!!

Felicita: *dodge*

(*whish)

Attack!

>Hit

(+50 Amore)

>Miss

(-50 Amore)

(*slash) Ash: Guh…

(*clang) Ash: Where are you aiming those!? They won’t hit!!

Ash: The sun’s…going down

Ash: We’ve got to settle this…

Ash: I’ll unleash the power of the great Vir Ingeniosus

Ash: Miracolo di Nascita

(*whack) Felicita: Ah!

(*stands)

(*running) Ash: Take this!

Ash: …Uwah!!

Felicita: …/p>

(*step) (*dash)

(*whoosh) Felicita: Hyah!

Attack!

>Hit

(+50 Amore)

>Miss

(-50 Amore)

(*whack) Ash: Guh…agh!

(*dodge) Ash: …!!

Ash: Daaaamn it!! Strawberry Heaaad!!

(*spark)

Felicita: *glare*

(*bam!) Felicita: Hyah!

Ash: …Ugaaaah!!

(*grab) (*slash)

Ash: Guh…ahhhh!

(*shaky) Ash: The hell…Felicita, you’re actually pretty strong…I really thought I was going to win…

❤≪Ash≫ Seems shocked

Link: I wasn’t planning on losing…

Place: I’ll do something about the ship with my powers

Person: Now what…

>I’ll thank you in advance for the Tarocco

(+10 Amore)

>You made me a promise too

(+30 Amore)

Ash: ��…What do you mean?

Ash: Yeah…I’ll give you back the Tarocco

❤≪Ash≫ Seems shocked ❤≪Ash≫ Seems concerned

Arcana: I don’t understand

Arcana: I’ll return the Tarocco

Link: I can trust her with it

(*shine) Liberta: Ojou! You did it!

❤≪Liberta≫ Seems excited

Pleasure: Of course she would!

Arcana: And now…

Nova: So, now what do we do?

❤≪Nova≫ Seems concerned

Link: This result is only natural

Arcana: I can guess what she’s going to say

>We’ll return the “Justice” Tarocco to normal

(No Amore)

>Let’s go see Joshua

(+10 Amore)

Ash: You…

Nova: Right. It’s a problem we have to fix

Ash: What…

Liberta: Well, that’s what you asked Ojou right?

❤≪Ash≫ Seems confused ❤≪Ash≫ Seems confused

Arcana: What…

❤≪Nova≫ Seems concerned ❤≪Liberta≫ Seems excited

Daily: As expected

Arcana: But it is necessary

Person: They’re on different levels

Daily: Well, we’ll just do what we can!

Felicita: *smile*

Ash: Thank you…Felicita

❤≪Ash≫ Seems concerned

Link: Does that mean…we’re friends now?

Person: I’m grateful

~*End of Scene*~

Special Voice obtained. It can be heard in the Profile section

(Continue to Ash Chapter 5)

(Back to Directory)

#ash #arcana famiglia #vascello fantasma no majutsushi #chapter 4 #solar translations #psp game #translation #releases #can't believe he falls for the old flash of light trick twice in a row....#and joshua is seriously low key sassy

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itsblosseybitch · 5 years

Text

It’s Never About Disney Tickets

About a year ago, I went to Disney with my brother, sister, and her boyfriend. Before we left the house, it came up that one of us didn’t have a ticket. More specifically, that person was my brother. Despite the fact that my brother is 34, he has never learned to master his finances. Like my 56-year old father, he’s notorious for borrowing money left and right, and rarely paying it back. These are things the family discusses when neither gentleman is around. From people who have, more than once, let these fiscally irresponsible men borrow their money and then bitterly complain about getting screwed.

So, the idea was that my brother would borrow money from someone for a Disney ticket. I don’t go to Disney often, and I don’t know the exact price, but tickets are in the $150 range. That’s a lot of money to let someone borrow, regardless of how financially savvy they are. And somehow, everyone else in the room (my sister, her boyfriend, mom, and stepdad) decided that that person was going to be me.

Why? I’m not sure.

Knowing his track record, and the fact that he’s shown no improvement in this area, I refused. So my brother offers, with no sense of irony, to pay me back in Chick-Fil-A. Now I’ve told this portion of the story before with people completely floored by this part. Yet this is 100% in character for my brother, and this didn’t surprise me. I still said no.

I thought I made a wise and fiscally responsible decision. But everyone else in the room didn’t seem to think so.

Both my mom and sister brought up my savings account, which I was working hard to reach towards a certain number (and did, shortly after this incident). They brought up how I had more than enough to spare (which I did), and should just give to him. I still said no.

I finally pointed out to my sister, “He’s not good at paying people back.” And knowing that my brother was financially in the red and that my mom and sister let him borrow money recently, I asked her point-blank: “Did he pay you back?”

After a pause, she angrily replied: “Jordan, I’m not taking you. I’m not even kidding!”

I ended up leaving the living room and going out to the car. After a few minutes, my sister emerged and said that they “handled it,” though I can’t remember if she elaborated on that or not. She then berated me for “not listening to Reason.” I mentioned how he offered to pay back $150 in Chick-Fil-A, but I don’t remember that giving her pause. Regardless, I went to Disney that day, with my bank account intact.

A few weeks ago, I had one of those arguments with my mom and sister where a bunch of past grievances came up, and my sister brought up this incident. My mother said that it was “hurtful” that I called out my brother’s lack of fiscal responsibility in front of everyone, and she kept insisting that it was hurtful even after I pointed out that this was a fact everyone in the room at that time knew about. I’m not a Ben Shapiro fan by any stretch of the imagination, but he’s right: facts don’t care about your feelings.

My sister was continuing to give me shit about it, when I pointed out he offered to pay me back in Chick-Fil-A.

This time, it gave her pause. But then she angrily replied: “Well, you should have just given him the money anyway, because you had so much of it.”

I walked away from that argument completely baffled by my mom and sister’s twisted logic. There’s no way they thought that letting him borrow money was a genuinely good decision. Their pauses told me I had a point. So why did they keep insisting that I should have done it anyway?

I was still baffled about this last night when I was watching a YouTube video about gaslighting. I posted in the comments section, “I don’t know if this is gaslighting and don’t use that phrase lightly...” and launched into my story.

Almost immediately, I got a reply from another user, who said:

“They probably wanted something that you giving him the money depended on. It’s not quite gaslighting, it’s more like turning butthurt and throwing insults at someone that does not give you what you want. Immature and childish, using the appearance of hurt feelings to gain control over you. A grown man should have more pride in his money. Maybe the money was for something other than a Disney ticket.”

I replied back with a simple: “Now that I think about it, it probably was.”

The more I’ve thought about it today, the more I’m almost certain it was.

On its face, this situation makes absolutely no sense. Even if we went with the narrative that my mom and my sister are the dumbest people to have ever lived on Earth (which they aren’t), their reactions to this situation still make no sense.

But if you add the possibility that the money wasn’t for a Disney ticket, then things start adding up.

As I’ve already established, my brother was financially in the red at this point. More than usual. I knew he was on some sort of plan to borrow money from my mom and stepdad, and to pay them back. As far as I know, this plan had mixed success. I also knew my sister let him borrow money.

I sat around at dinner conversations where all three of them complained that he hadn’t paid them back. Surprise, surprise.

I remember a few years ago, when my dad had an explosive breakup with his ex-fiancee, how he moved in with my eldest sister (not the one already mentioned) and her then-husband and daughter. My eldest sister was letting him borrow so much money, that she was borrowing from my mom and stepdad to let him borrow money. Robbing Peter to pay Paul. After a point, my mom and stepdad put a stop to it, and my eldest sister had to tell my dad that she could no longer let him borrow money. My eldest sister at one point complained about how our father reveled in “how good it felt to buy stuff again” and how she just nodded along, obviously full of suppressed resentment. To my understanding, my mom and stepdad gave her this money, knowing what the situation was. I guess that’s just what family is for. When I was with my siblings, I made the radical suggestion that we shouldn’t let our father borrow money from us. I can’t remember if this was explicitly stated, but the attitude towards my suggestion was that it was heartless. It hasn’t happened (yet), but I’ve had my “no speech” rehearsed for when my dad asks for me to lend him money since this time period (7-8 years).

Now that I look back, there was no moment where we all went around the room and decided who was going to give my brother money. The idea that that the person was going to be me was more implied, almost as if it was decided beforehand.

Call it what you will. Conspiracy, intervention, or collusion. My immediate family also has a history of coordinated group effort, usually spearheaded by one or both of my sisters and my mom being the accomplice.

Almost exactly ten years ago, I was the center of one of these group efforts. In a sleazy condo rented out by my dad’s adoptive mother (now deceased), both of my sisters and my now former brother-in-law told me that we wouldn’t leave the condo unless I told them everything I did with my on-and-off boyfriend at the time. This was the summer, and one of our “off” periods, and I was reeling from what would be the first of many of our micro-breakups. Even though I was 13 at the time, we had unprotected oral sex. It was irresponsible, and I was too young to be doing that, but thankfully I got no STDs from it. I should add that this was consensual. I felt horrible about being forced to give very intimate details about what I did with a boy I was crazy about at the time and still thinking about despite our “off” period.

I begged them not to tell my mom, which they said they wouldn’t. Not only did they tell her, but they told her before that night in the condo. They already knew everything from the detailed journals I kept. I don’t remember exactly how I found this out, but it was months later in the car with the sister I’ve mentioned most frequently, and by that point my then-boyfriend and I were back to business as usual. When I brought up that they forced me to tell them really private stuff, my sister said “we didn’t force it out of you.” I’m pretty sure I pointed out the part where our eldest sister said “We’re not leaving unless you tell us what you did.” I don’t remember my other sister directly or indirectly responding to that.

I think there’s two types of naivety. There’s personal naivety, when you’re not good at reading another person’s character. And then there’s social naivety, when you’re not good at reading a situation for what it is. I think I’m good at judging a person’s character, but I’m not always great at reading a situation. My emotional intelligence scores seem to think so, as well. The EQ tests I took measure emotional intelligence in four different areas: self awareness, self management, social awareness, and relationship management. I’ve taken this test twice, over a year apart. Even though all my scores have improved, the pattern remains the same: my highest skill is self awareness, and my lowest is social awareness. Now’s a good time to mention that I have Asperger’s, and was even diagnosed as having moderate-to-severe Autism as an infant.

I’ve spent weeks, months, sometimes years fixating on social situations that absolutely baffled me, and I’ve realized that I took most of those baffling situations at face value. I never looked at these situations with nuance until it was usually too late. Once, I was completely baffled as to why the best friend of my high school crush would try and call me at 4 AM. What kind of person calls at 4 AM? Three weeks later, it dawned on me that those were Peak Booty Call Hours. Thinking about my social life sometimes feels like the equivalent of watching The Office, and realizing you’re Michael Scott.

Now I realize that every time someone tried to manipulate me, whether it was for sex, money, or information, my lack of social awareness was usually the thing they were preying on. Consciously or unconsciously, they were banking on me to not recognize the subtext of a situation. And if this attempt on their part was unsuccessful, it was usually because I found a minor plot hole.

It was never about the Disney ticket, I’m sure now. I don’t know exactly what it was about, but I’m bound to find out sooner or later. I always do. The Disney ticket was just a fairy tale that was made up to convince me to do something that I wouldn’t have agreed to in a million years.

I’m sure the writers of this fairy tale thought that I loved food so much to the point that I would risk parting with a significant amount of money just to get Chick-Fil-A. Hell, my brother probably wouldn’t have been timely on those payments, either.

I’m sure they thought that guilt-tripping me would work, even though none of us were raised Catholic. I’m sure they thought that making me feel like I’m crazy and stupid (and saying as much) would spur me to action, but they’ve used that plot point so many times that I’ve learned to turn it on its head.

My only question now is why they couldn’t be honest with me.

#personal #my writing #aspergers #autism #emotional intelligence #manipulation #dysfunctional family

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syngigeim · 5 years

Text

Day 1 - Voracious

Only a little bit more! Vauthry was near and soon he would pay for the suffering he caused. Bang! The doors to his chamber burst open. Where Vauthry had turned his back, stuffing his face!

“Lord Vauthry! Your reign of tryany is at an end!” Alphinaud shouted. “For too long you have suffered upon the desperation of the poor. Now you will answer for the suffering you have caused!”

There was no change in the man’s posture, no recognition. Just gorging.

“And if you harbor even a shred of remorse, I beseech you to use your powers to redress the balance. For the future of all in Norvandt.”

Aubinaux was caught off guard by that. The lad still has hope for him? At least now he could pin-point what it was that Syngigeim seemed to like about him.

“No… it can’t be. This is wrong. It’s wrong!” Ryne shouted suddenly.

“Oh, my suspicions are confirmed then, aren’t they?” Syngigeim asked. Aubinaux nodded, keeping his eyes trained on the man she was speaking of. “Vauthry is the Lightwarden isn’t he?”

Ryne just nodded in affirmation.

It was then that the munching from Vauthry began to slow and he seemed to gulp at whatever he was eating. And then...he turned his face around to look at them. Without turning his back.

“Remorse? For the future of all? What nonsense is this?” Vauthry said, very softly and very quizzically. “There is no justice but mine. No future but mine. No will but mine. It was pre-ordained. I was born to deliver this wretched world.”

You alone can save this twisted world huh? Ha.

Vauthry turned his head back around, thank the Twelve. “Me? Unsteated? No, no, no, no, no...” Something clattered to the floor. Maybe he was at last comprehending? “It’s impossible. Inconceivable! Absurd! I am a great and wise king! Greatest! And wisest! I reign from on high! I will not be brought low by maggots LIKE YOU!” he said, shouting and beginning to slam upon the soft cushion he was on. Angrily he shouted and slammed and tantrumed. Overgrown, immature...

Aubinaux noticed Alphinaud look down to the ground in shame in seeing this display. Ah. That explains a bit. After all, many within Wanderer’s League, Aubinaux included, distanced themselves from the Scions, or rather Alphinaud, thanks to his arrogance and pride.

Vauthry seemed to break out of his anger. A calm came over him again. “Oh, yes. Of course. I can begin again. Rebuild my paradise. Once I finish my dinner...” He then took what was a fork with Meol and...ate it all. Llymlaen’s bosom!

“Oh gods, no – Stop him! Thancred, stop him!” Ryne suddenly shouted. Aubinaux readied his axe and let out a rallying cry and- suddenly Vauthry screamed. An ear-piercing rally that snapped his eardrums. He couldn’t move, he couldn’t do, he couldn’t take it!

By the time the sound stopped and he could think clearly again, Vauthry was long gone. “Where did he go!?” Alphinaud asked. An earthquake came in response. Not so bad that he was knocked off his feet but bad enough to shake the chandeliers ahead of the group precariously. Everyone rushed forward out onto the balcony to see what was going on. And what they saw was the top of the nearby mountain, floating in midair and haloed by some sort of crystal. “What in the heavens!?” Alphinaud declared.

“Did Vauthry do that?” Alisaie incredulously asked.

“We must give chase!” Syngigeim said, turning back around to the group.

“I mean, I’m all for that but how?” Aubinaux asked. And here I thought that would be your first question Syngigeim. Aren’t you the one who tends to think things-

“Wait.” Alphinaud said. “That is Mt. Gulg, the highest peak in Kholusia. It lies on the other side of a sheer cliff, and much as I wish it were otherwise, it is beyond our reach for now. But even if it weren’t – there are people here who need our help.”

“Oh Alphinaud...” Alisaie said with a tenderness for her soft-hearted brother.

Alphinaud took a step towards Syngigeim, imploring her, “Please. Even if it’s only to tend to their wounds.”

Syngigeim gazed at him, her expression a bit unreadable, turned her head up to the sky, closed her eyes, gave a soft sigh and then smiled and said “Of course. Let me help as well.”

Alphinaud stepped back and smiled back at her. “Thank you.”

“I don’t know if it will work, but if Vauthry’s hold over the people is rooted in Light, I might be able to reverse it’s effects,” Ryne said. “Will you let me try?”

“Of course. We’d be grateful for any help you can provide,” Alphinaud said, with Ryne giving a small smile in response.

“Well then, if it’s decided, let’s all get to work,” Alisaie said. The two twins and Ryne rushed off, Thancred following swiftly behind and Elly behind him and Urianger and Y’sthola following shortly after. Aubinaux began to follow those two, but stopped. He saw Mariko approach Syngigeim, who was still looking at Mt. Gulg in the distance.

“I’m certain that people have been asking if you are fine a lot lately...” Mariko started to ask.

“The light is contained, and I haven’t been-” She started but Mariko interrupted.

“That isn’t what I’m going to ask about. You seemed more eager to fight Vauthry than anything else.”

“Just...a battle high, nothing more. I’ve got people to take care of.” Syngigeim said, looking down and away from him as she turned on her heel and followed after the Scions. Aubinaux quietly followed after her, casting a glance at Mariko, Q’hara and Arashi quietly discussing something. Quickly he jogged after Syngigeim so he could converse without alerting the Scions.

“We all in some way, shape, and form, take a pleasure in the violence we do,” he whispered.

“I know. But I can’t help but hate myself for it.” Syngigeim whispered back. “It’s inhumane.”

“Trust me, you’re talking to the one person who understands that clearest of all. Just-” He awkwardly put his hand on her back. “-don’t forget your kindness, alright?”

Syngigeim chuckled at that. “I won’t. Thanks,” she said, giving a quick smile before heading forward.

@sea-wolf-coast-to-coast

#FFxivWrite2019 #aubinaux larsonient #syngigeim usynlonwyn #alphinaud leveilleur #vauthry #ryne #alisaie leveilleur #mariko zuriko

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daisiesanddanganronpaimagines · 7 years

Note

this seems cool! :0 i'm a bi female. reeaaally short. i wear glasses all the time and i love dying my hair pink (favorite color!) i love video games and play them everytime i get the chance. im really immature at times and a lot of people say i can be annoying, which makes me bottle myself up in public and keep a quiet facade around strangers. i like to write in my spare time, i really love tapping into characters and am told i do very good impersonations of people. i love to make people laugh!

Thank you for the ask!

Without further ado, let’s see how you would fare in the Danganronpa universe with your Dangan Life: SHSL Test Results!:

I think you would be the Ultimate Comedian! Now I know you’re over there like “are you on drugs my girl?” BUT, hear me out real quick. When you were young, you started to write, and took pride in making your parents laugh. And in school, you were usually the class clown, and could imitate your teachers with an almost scary accuracy.

Making people laugh quickly became your favorite thing to do - and so you wrote jokes in your spare time. jokes quickly became videos on the internet, and the internet quickly became comedy shows in front of thousands of people. So, you’re admitted into Hope’s Peak as the Ultimate Comedian.

When you’re admitted into Kaede’s class - you quickly become the class clown again, frequently butting heads with Ouma. Everyone likes you well enough, though - so he can’t do much but prank you. Which - as he finds out - is not a good idea.

You live out your year(s) there in peace, well, until a bunch of really, really weird stuff happens and you’re in the Academy for Gifted Juveniles. Strange.

After Monokuma explains the rules of the Killing Game, and after you see the first person off to their death, you hole yourself up in your room until Shuichi - of all people - comes and gets you out.

“Let’s go. She would have wanted you to make them laugh - right?”

You grin, and clean yourself up before heading to breakfast. And then, you do what you love to do. Make them laugh.

During the class trials, you moreso tried to lighten the moods than anything else. Typically, you’re also found in the library, at the dorms, in the A/V room, or in the dining hall. Or - you’re one of those weird characters that when I’m looking for them I can never find, but when I’m not looking they come out to play---

Ahem. Moving on.

You don’t get killed, but rather you kill someone. It wasn’t planned, though - it was in self-defense. You see - your killer had decided to target you instead of someone else, and let’s just say that it doesn’t end well for them.

Warning: Suicide Trigger Ahead!

After they’re dead, you hide the body and try to clean everything up. But, you’re consumed with guilt, and quite honestly, if you took your life - it would be better than what Monokuma had in store for you.

So, you do it. You kill yourself. And, in your suicide letter, you explain what happened (which, of course, Monokuma tampers with.) And you apologize.

The only reason they find you is because Ryoma peeks under your door and sees your blood staining the carpet.

They’d been trying to get you to come out for at least half an hour. “They” included Shuichi, Ryouma, and Kaito

“Kick down the door.”

“What?”

“I said, kick it down!”

“Why?”

“Nevermind that, we have to get someone who can unlock this door!”

>Monokuma pops up.

“Upupupupupu....no need for that, I’ll just unlock it!”

“So...she really is....”

> Ouma rushes over to see what everyone is doing.

>And...at that moment...

>The door swings open.

>To....reveal....

>To...........reveal...

>A scream surfaces.

*Ding dong, bing bong!*

“Upupupu! A body has been discovered! After a certain amount of time, a class trial will be held!”

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trashynoona · 7 years

Text

Little Miss Chubs[2/2]

Word count: 1,892

Genre: Fluff and a hint of smut

‘Hi can I order delivery please?’ The voice over the phone asked.

‘Oh sorry my dear, we don’t do delivery…’ Ahjumma said.

‘Ahhhhjummmaaaa~ Did you forget about your promise already? This is BTS’ Kim Seok Jin!’ Jin said in his exaggerated whiney tone.

‘Ohhhh! You should have said earlier! Of course I remember BTS! And I also know you’re the one who eats really well!’ Ahjumma was ecstatic.

She hurried with the order list and ran to the kitchen. She shoved it in my hand and gave me a wink before strolling out to mend the counter.

‘3 roast chicken, 3 kimchi fries, 4 soda and delivery by the lady boss herself.’ The note wrote.

You rolled your eyes; knowing immediately that this must be Kim Seok Jin’s order. You were going to dump the order in the bin as you did not do delivery, but you recalled that ahjumma had promised them, and a promise is a promise. Besides, business with an entertainment company might just bring you lots of extra customers. So therefore, you gave in and prepared the food order.

‘Ahjumma, I’m heading out to deliver the food!’ you called out.

‘Hold up! My goodness, you look like a mess and smell like a mess. Hurry up and do a bit of washing up. You’re a girl for God’s sake!’ Ahjumma grabbed the package from my hand and pushed me to the locker room.

You hastily picked up a fresh set of clothing, consisting of your usual oversized plaid shirt and shorts. You proceeded to freshen up, only to realized you did actually stink quite a bit.

As you arrived at the given address, you followed the instructions to ring the intercom. You were immediately buzzed up after you recited the supposed ‘code word’ – chicken jjang. You wondered if this was really the code word the idol group used on a daily basis.

The front door to the apartment on the highest floor in the inner most alley was wide open when you arrived. You knocked nonetheless and called out. There was no response so you reluctantly let yourself into the apartment.

‘Hello? It’s chicken delivery?’ You called out.

‘Hold on. I’m coming!’ You heard a muffled voice coming from the bathroom.

‘You’re here!’ Jin exclaimed with enthusiasm as he put on a loose singlet while walking out of the bathroom.

You managed to have a peak at this toned body hiding underneath his singlet and you were amazed by how much more sculpted your childhood friend has become over the years. His hair was still wet from his shower and small water droplets still covered part of his body. It was sexy as hell.

‘Uh.. Yeah… Yeah…’ You shook yourself out of your embarrassing trance.

‘Are you alright. You seem out of sort?’ Jin approached you and place his palm on your forehead.

‘Sit down, I think you might have a fever.’ Jin insisted as he dragged you to the living room.

‘What are you talking about? I don’t have a fever!’ You defended. Secretly, you knew you were just flustered from checking out your old friend.

‘Well I am the oppa and I think you do.’ Jin argued.

‘Oppa?! I only know you as the greasy pink princess.’ You stuck your tongue out, teasing him of his childhood nickname.

‘Why won’t you just call me oppa even after so many years, little miss chubs!!’ Jin was annoyed as he squished your cheeks in his hands like he used to do when you were kids.

‘Hey! Stop that! I’m not a kid anymore!!’ You protested.

‘So adorable. So does our little miss chubs have a boyfriend?’ Jin ruffled your hair.

‘Erm… It’s none of your business? I don’t recall us being that close?’ You answered.

‘That’s why I am trying to get close to you again. Is that a yes? Do you have a boyfriend?’ Jin asked again.

‘Why would you want to get close to me?! Didn’t you said I had no pride?’ You retorted.

‘Look, I’m sorry for what I said then okay, I was immature and I regretted saying that the moment it came out. So do you have a boyfriend or not?’ Jin asked again.

‘Fine, I’m not that petty, I’ll forgive you. Now, will you pay up so I can get back to work?’ You asked.

‘Answer my question first!’ Jin replied.

‘Forget it, I’ll just pick it up from your manager.’ You said as you took out your notebook to make a note to collect Jin’s food money from their manager.

Just then, Jin snatched your notebook away from you and scribbled something on it.

‘Do you have a boyfriend? Yes/No (circle one)’ The note said.

You rolled your eyes at your childhood friend’s silliness but gave in this time.

‘No’ you circled and handed it back to Jin.

‘Good. Do you want to date me then? Yes No (Circle one)’ Jin handed the notebook back to you.

‘Not funny anymore Jin!’ You pouted, mildly annoyed at Jin for turning your lack of suitors into a joke.

‘I’m not kidding! Why would you think I am kidding?!’ Jin tried to defend himself.

‘What?! Because you’re THE Kim Seok Jin. BTS’ Jin and I am a chubby greasy chicken store owner?!’ You were getting more annoyed as Jin seemed to be so engrossed in his little teasing act.

‘What’s wrong with chubby? I think you’re cute! And I love that you own a chicken store! Have you seen me eat? I even have a section called ‘Eat Jin’!!! Jin Exclaimed.

‘You’re nuts! I’m leaving!’ You called out.

‘You haven’t answered me…’ Jin held onto you.

You turned around and looked at Jin, there was sincerity in his eyes, you knew that look, he wasn’t joking.

‘You’re… you’re being serious…?’ You asked in a small voice.

‘Look chubs. After I yelled at you in high school, I realized I was angry with you because the one I wanted to date was you, but instead, all you could do was worry about all the other girls in the world. I knew I hurt you and I did not have the balls to apologize. So when I moved away and lost contact with you, I made a promise to myself that if we meet again and that we are both single, I have to ask you out. No more time for regrets chubs.’ Jin confessed.

‘Wow.’ You responded.

‘Wow? That’s all you have to say?!’ This time Jin was the one getting annoyed.

‘I… I mean… this is totally unexpected? We were always fighting and we were worlds apart, furthermore right now. We are like universe apart?!’ You were getting animated.

‘I guess that’s a no then?’ Jin asked.

‘Actually…’ You said as you started unbuttoning your plaid shirt.

‘Woah, this escalated quickly???’ Jin shot his hands up, flustered by your action.

‘Shut up and turn off that horny brain of yours!’ You barked at him as you continue working on the buttons.

Inside the plaid shirt, was a white T-shirt with Jin’s face on it and the tagline ‘I love Jin Oppa’.

Jin’s face lit up and a smirk creeped on his face.

‘You love Jin oppa?’ He teased.

‘I love Jin oppa.’ You answered shyly.

‘I love Jin oppa too.’ Jin blew you one of his signature cheesy kisses.

You smacked him for teasing you.

‘Forget it! I’m leaving!’ You pulled your plaid shirt together and stormed out of the apartment.

Before you could get to the door, Jin blocked your exit and walked towards you, causing you to back into the house again. You were centimeters apart and it made your breathe hinge. Afterall, you did have a secret crush for Jin since you were a child and everything that had just happened was so surreal that you did not know what was real and what was an illusion anymore.

‘Do you love Jin oppa like how I love little miss chubs?’ Jin asked.

‘I would think so…’ You answered quietly.

‘Good.’ Jin said as he gently raised your head and reached forward to place a gentle peck on your lips.

You instinctively closed your eyes and his soft warm lips drew you closer to him. It was like a drug and you moved forward as Jin pulled away.

‘You smell nice.’ Jin commented.

‘Thank Ahjumma. She made me shower before I delivered.’ You confessed absent-mindedly, too anxious to have the set of soft plump lips on you again.

‘I will thank her personally later.’ Jin said before he satisfied your cravings by landing his lips on yours again. This time, it was more passionate and more hurried.

Both of you seemingly moaned on cue; possibly both dreaming for this day to come for far too long. Before you know it, Jin was pulling you as close as he could to you as he guided you to his room. You were completed enchanted by your greasy pink princess, for now he was the sexy pink prince instead. Soon enough, you were both tearing up (not literally) each other’s clothes and as he threw you on the bed, your eyes feasted on Jin’s toned body. You wondered where on Earth did all the food he eats go.

‘Checking out my hot bod?’ Jin blew you one of his kisses again.

‘Shut up!’ You protested.

Jin giggled as he crawled above you and peppered you with kisses.

Your warmth intertwined and soon enough your bodies were in harmony as well. Despite not seeing one another for ages, sex felt natural together. It almost seemed like this was meant to happen and your bodies were meant to be placed together.

After the blissful, sexy encounter, you realized you had been gone for far too long and had received 10 miss calls from the chicken store. You hurriedly put your clothes back on and rushed for the door.

Your newly minted boyfriend pulled you in for another kiss again, unwilling to let you go.

‘Come on, I really have to go. I’ll call you once I am done with work tonight ok?’ You coaxed.

‘But… I need to catch up with my girlfriend…’ Jin whined and rubbed his face on yours like a cat.

‘Stop it. You’re so silly.’ You giggled.

‘Silly for you!’ Jin replied, cheesy as usual.

Just then, Taehyung and Jimin walked into the dorm just in time to witness the mushy encounter between the two of you.

‘Hyung! I thought you were sick?’ Jimin asked.

‘I remember you! You’re the pretty chicken noona!’ Tae exclaimed.

Jin and you were both flustered. You seized the opportunity to escape from Jin’s firm grib, bowed at his two members and rushed out of the house.

‘Bye Jin!’ You turned back and waved before you ran away.

A cheekily proud grin was plastered on Jin’s face, afterall, you did only say goodbye to him.

‘Hyung… you have a lot of explanation to do!’ Taehyung broke Jin out of his trance.

‘Come come, have some chicken.’ Jin attempted to distract the boys.

‘We’ll accept your chicken, but you still have lots of explaining to do hyung!’ Jimin said.

‘Fine. Just don’t tell rapmon I lied about being sick okay?’ Jin asked as he handed a box of chicken to each boy.

‘DEAL.’ The two younger boys called out.

#bts #BTS jin #bts jin scenario #jin #kim seokjin #jin fanfic #eatjin #kpop fanfiction #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines

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celebritylive · 5 years

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It’s the moment Bachelorette fans have been waiting for: the Men Tell All!

On Monday night’s two-hour special, Hannah Brown came face-to-face with all of her castoffs — including Luke Parker, whom she sent home during last week’s episode after he told her that he expected her to refrain from being sexually intimate with the remaining contestants. Here are all the highlights.

Luke Parker returned (with an engagement ring) after being eliminated.

At the beginning of the show, a clip was shown of the remainder of what went down in Greece after Brown, 34, sent Parker, 24, packing on last Monday night’s episode.

“I finally was hit right in the face with what everybody else saying,” Brown explained in a confessional. “I was like, ‘I now can relate,’ and I sent Luke home. The other guys have no idea … I have no regrets. I feel like f— that guy and not an ounce of me misses him, wants him in my life or will question my decisions. I’m so glad Luke is finally gone and I never have to see him again.”

But, it turned out “never” didn’t last very long.

A clip of Parker on his way to interrupt Brown’s rose ceremony was then shown as he said, “Hannah thought after sending me in the van that there’s no way I’d want to be with her anymore after the last thing she told me. She’s sadly mistaken.”

“She doesn’t realize I still love her and that I’m not through,” he continued. “This isn’t over for me yet. I couldn’t go home without talking to her again and sharing my heart with her and getting a few things off my chest. She has never told me that she loves me, but I know she loves me. I know without a shadow of a doubt she still has feelings for me. I believe she’s making a big mistake, and I’m going to tell her that. She doesn’t know it yet, but I’m on my way and I’m coming. I want to prove to her how serious I am about this.”

The camera then showed him flashing a diamond ring in his pocket.

He joined Brown’s remaining men (who were unaware that he was eliminated at this point) in line.

As Brown walked in, she saw Parker and immediately asked him, “Why are you here?” He replied, “I want to talk to you.”

After Parker made multiple appeals to talk to Brown, she angrily declared, “This is not about your heart! F—! Leave! I’m so tired. You’re so narcissistic. It’s my this, my that. This is not about your heart. I’m sorry that your heart is broken, but you’ve already broken my heart like 15 times through all of this by me trying to make this work.”

Once Parker finally left, Brown started crying, and Chris Harrison told her, “The clarity that you were looking for? Now you have even more of it. He is fully convinced — or was — that you are his wife, that you are the one and that nobody knows the depth of your relationship. He has a ring in his pocket right now. He was ready to propose to you. I’m not joking.”

RELATED: Bachelorette Hannah Brown Reveals the ‘Silver Lining’ of Her ‘Toxic Relationship’ with Luke P.

Parker said he was ‘blindsided’ by Brown’s windmill sex confession.

Things hit a fever pitch on last week’s episode when Brown and Parker had a heated argument about sex and religion that ended with Brown flipping off Parker as she sent him home.

Earlier in the night, Parker revealed that although he’s not a virgin, he has been abstinent for nearly four years and plans to wait until marriage to have sex again — and expected Brown to follow suit.

“I just want to make sure that you’re not going to be sexually intimate with the other relationships here,” he said on the show. “I totally have all the trust in the world in you, but at the same time, I just want to make sure we’re on the same page. Like, if you told me you’re going to have sex or you had sex with one or multiple of these guys, I would be wanting to go home, 100 percent.”

His comments infuriated Brown, and after a heated back-and-forth, she laid down the law.

“My husband would never say what you’ve said to me,” she said. “I have had sex, and Jesus still loves me. From obviously how you feel, me f—ing in a windmill, you probably want to leave.”

During his time in the hot seat, Parker explained that he reacted the way he did because he felt “blindsided” by Brown’s confession.

“You look back at hometowns and she told my whole Sunday school group that sex in the fantasy suites wasn’t going to be something she was going to do,” he told Harrison, 47. “Even before that conversation at dinner in Greece, I explained what my desires were with sex and fantasy suites and she agreed and she said she was in the same boat and she shared the same desires to abstain from sex before marriage. So I was blindsided by the whole thing.”

“I didn’t expect her reaction,” he continued. “Like I said, I’m not going to ever judge her for anything that she does, and I was never judging her. I was making a decision for myself of what I wanted and something that I’ve been seeking. That is what I proved showing back up to fight for Hannah. The only reason I went back was to show Hannah something that I shared with her from day one — I’m always going to fight for her.”

Parker said that in the beginning of the show’s process, he made Brown out to be “this perfect woman.”

“It wasn’t the fact that she had sex that would make me want to leave her,” he said. “I went in there because I felt like she was making a mistake. I really thought, no matter what, this is the one for me. I’ve never felt anything like this. If you’re wondering, these feelings were real and I know they were real for her. That’s why you see me say things like, ‘She has never told me she loves me, but I believe that she does.'”

RELATED: Hannah Brown Opens up About Being ‘Slut-Shamed’ for Talking About Sex on The Bachelorette: ‘It’s Just Not Okay’

Parker also felt like he was on a ‘rescue mission’ for Brown.

“I felt like I was on a rescue mission for Hannah,” Parker said. “That’s how I look at it. Coming here, I really felt like I was going to be something good for her in a future husband. Granted, I’m talking about before ever meeting her. … Her faith was very exciting to me. I wasn’t even going to show up unless I had known that Hannah Brown was going to be the Bachelorette. I think, throughout the whole season, it was very clear I was there for her and that I was going to fight for her until the very end.”

When Harrison asked Parker to clarify what he meant by “rescue mission,” he said, “I just meant from …I’m not talking about faith whatsoever here.”

After everything, Parker finally apologized.

Parker told Brown from the studio, “I just want to tell you one thing: I’m sorry. That’s it. I made it really hard on her.”

RELATED VIDEO: The Bachelorette‘s Hannah Brown and Luke P. Are Still Fighting About Their ‘Sex Talk’ on Twitter

But Devin Harris came out on stage to interrupt.

Harris, 27, said his blood was boiling while watching Parker’s time in the hot seat backstage.

“There are two types of men,” Harris said. “There are men that want an independent, strong woman. And there are men that want a woman that they can control. I feel right now that you are the man that wants to control a woman so that you can feel better about yourself.”

“That’s not a man,” he added. “What blows my mind is you’re saying that you’re on a rescue mission, but it seemed that the only person that needed rescuing was Hannah from you.”

And the rest of the guys called Parker out, too.

Mike Johnson, who took Parker to task throughout the season, also addressed him on stage.

“I’m going to be honest,” said Johnson, 31. “I feel that Luke hasn’t learned a thing whatsoever. I think that you are a narcissistic, cantankerous misogynist. I think that you are beyond cocky to the point to where you don’t care what no one else says. I feel that you were not fighting for her. … You were fighting over her. I think that your future wife is going to be a prisoner with you if you don’t know how to change.”

Connor Saeli offered Parker “the only compliment of the night” by saying he respected him for being at the taping when he knew it would likely be a “firestorm.” But then, he gave his own critique.

“I was the only one to actually give you a chance in Scotland and hear you out and hear your story,” said Saeli, 25. “And I remember right after our conversation that we had, you went and said the complete opposite thing to the group and so, you know, honestly, I wish I’d said this early to you, but f— you, man. You’re a liar, a manipulator, you’re controlling and you honestly are a psychopath. And I think everything you’re about to hear tonight you deserve.”

Luke Stone, whose contentious relationship with Parker came to a head after Parker allegedly kneed him in the face during a rugby match, said he found Parker’s actions “disturbing.”

In response, Parker said it was “tough” being the outsider among the group of men.

“My integrity and my character is being questioned constantly,” he said. “Everything I say, I’m being looked at like a liar. Think about that. That’s just not easy to deal with. … I do hate that’s what happened. And I do admit that’s because of me, I admit that was because of my pride. That’s not easy to deal with.”

“It hurts me to hear that some of you don’t accept my apology,” he added later. “And I want you to know that I’m sincerely sorry about how it played out. I admit to being very immature through a lot of the process. It became about me because of my arrogance and my pride and I am working on those things…I really hope that you guys can forgive me.”

John Paul Jones was peak John Paul Jones.

Where would this season have been without the presence — though brief — of the internet’s favorite contestant, John Paul Jones?

While in the hot seat, Jones, 24, said he couldn’t have had more fun during his time on the show.

“When you get to take off work and when everything’s paid for and you’re around a bunch of dudes, it’s kind of hard not to have a good time,” he said. “Hannah is a great girl. What’s not to love about the experience? It’s difficult to not have a good time.”

One audience member came up to Jones with a pair of scissors to cut off a piece of his hair and recreate one of his and Brown’s dates, as shown in a deleted scene on YouTube.

Jones also teased that he took his speedo “south of the border” to film the upcoming season of Bachelor in Paradise, and Harrison treated the audience to chicken nuggets.

“In honor of JPJ, I didn’t want everyone to leave on an empty stomach,” Harrison said. “I’m bringing out nuggets for everybody tonight! Chicken nuggets for everybody!”

Mike Johnson won over everyone’s hearts.

Johnson opened up about his and Brown’s emotional breakup.

“To be broken up with like that and see her crying, I just wanted to be there for her,” he said. “It’s definitely not something I wanted to go through, but being on this journey, I know that we’re here looking for love and so is Hannah, and it sucks, but I trust Hannah.”

Then, Harrison asked if he truly saw Brown fitting in with his family of “strong, amazing women.”

“Definitely so,” Johnson said. “I brought one woman home in 10 years. I take this stuff incredibly serious. I felt that I could see myself getting down on one knee if it continued to progress the way it was. It would have been amazing for her to meet my mother, my sister and my grandma.”

Later, he added of Brown, “I still think she’s fine as hell and independent.”

RELATED: Chris Harrison Says The Bachelorette’s Mike Is ‘a Contender’ for Bachelor: How He’d Make History

Brown took Parker to task once and for all — and explained why she kept him around so long

When asked by Harrison what she’d want to say about Parker, Brown said, “There’s a lot to unpack there.”

“I think it’s hard for a lot of people to understand,” she said. “It was hard for me to understand at times. But ultimately, I’m really glad that relationship is behind me. I learned a lot from the experiences I went through and the heartbreak I ultimately went through from discovering that I deserved so much more than I could put up with.”

Parker then took the chance to apologize to Brown face-to-face.

“Well first off, you look great,” he said. “It’s good to see that smile on your face still. I really don’t have much to say, just the fact that I’m sorry that I made the whole process for you so difficult. I just want you to know that I’m sorry for that. I will say thank you. You actually did teach me a lot as well about myself, Scotland taught me how to self-reflect, and you taught me how important it is to self-reflect. I will say thank you for that. I’m sorry for making it about me and being prideful at times and making the whole process difficult for you.”

In response, Brown said, “I appreciate those words, but I feel like you still don’t understand what self-reflection means.”

“You said that you learned from this, and I do hope that you did,” she continued. “But I think that there’s a lot of fruit that needs to be grown from you .. .I will never try to say that the feelings that I had for him weren’t real, because they were. It was the closest thing that I had to feeling like I was drawn to somebody that I felt like was love at first sight that I’ve ever experienced. I think a lot of that came from being really insecure about being the Bachelorette in the first place. I remember when I got the call from you, I was so excited but also I had this doubt of, ‘Oh my gosh, am I going to be able to be this? Are the guys going to be disappointed?’ I didn’t know if I was going to live up to this standard that I thought I had to live up to and the first night there, there is this huge fear of what your intentions are. Are they for fame? Are they for career? Are they for building a platform? Is it for you to just continue to be a personality? That night, he made it clear and made me believe that he was there for me. There was safety in that, and he gave me hope from the beginning, and I held onto it a lot longer than I should have.”

When Harrison asked Brown if she told Parker’s church youth group that she would not be using the fantasy suites for sex like he had alleged, she replied, “I did not say that.”

“Fantasy suites aren’t used for sex, Luke,” Brown said. “You didn’t have one, so maybe you don’t know, but the fantasy suites aren’t for sex. You’re making everything about sex and it’s not. … I’m so over being slut-shamed and like that makes me not a woman of faith. I live my life and make mistakes and sin every single day … but that’s what grace is for. … And those fantasy suites, that’s not what they were about. They were about having a relationship where I grew really close to the men and knowing their heart. It’s not just about the physical, and that’s where you’re getting it really, really wrong.”

Shortly after, Harrison said Parker had to leave the taping early to catch a flight. To the rest of her suitors, Brown said, “Know that I’m really thankful that you stuck up for me when you did, you supported me when you did and you encouraged me when you did. I know it had to be really hard, but I am just really thankful for the guys that were here that were honest with me and real with me. So I just want to say thank you.”

She also gave a hilarious apology to Bachelor Nation for keeping Parker on our screens for so long, declaring, “The Luke P. show is canceled.”

The two-part finale of The Bachelorette airs next Monday and Tuesday on ABC.

from PEOPLE.com https://ift.tt/2JJ9ei6

#Celebrity

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freakflagbyiana · 5 years

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Pride & Coming out

It’s Pride month, and I’ve been listening to the coming out stories of people I know and admire. I’ve also been thinking a lot about my friends who either aren’t out or are out but their family doesn’t quite accept them... They have an “understanding” that they don’t talk about it. So here’s my coming out story, a queer memoir in 3 acts: Childhood, Puberty, and Adulthood.

Childhood

When I was a kid, I was called a Tomboy. It’s not even entirely accurate; I played with Barbies and makeup and costumes. I just also enjoyed Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and video games and comic books and getting dirty. And since this was the '80s, having an androgynous haircuts wasn't an indicator of gender or sexuality one way or another, it was simply the fashion.

Here’s a fun fact: My dad potty trained me, so I first attempted to pee standing up. He quickly realized he had to demonstrate sitting down if he was going to be the one teaching me. My idea of femininity - instilled in me by my mother - was also rather androgynous or 'tomboy'. Because she had always been skinny and flat chested, I grew up naturally assuming I’d be the same. I came from mom so I’ll look like mom when I grow up, right?

I remember hating Easter. It was the only time mom made me wear a big frilly dress for the pictures we'd send to Grandma. Pictures which inevitably involved me sitting on the side of the highway in a field of bluebonnets. In these photos, I am wearing a hot, unbreathable dress with scratchy tulle to make it 'poofy', sitting in a field (probably next to some fire ants), breathing in fumes of the highway with the afternoon sun burning my retinas, and trying not to squint too much for the picture. I remember thinking, “Boys don’t have to deal with this crap” (To this day, I still take bluebonnet pictures in the shade.)

I remember liking pink because, “I’m a girl, I’m supposed to like pink. Barbie’s favorite color is pink, so if I like Barbie, I like pink.” Gender Programming in action, folks! Eventually I rebelled against this gender standard, and, to this day, I’m still allergic to pink. Later I felt vindicated when I figured out how olive-yellow my skin tone was and thus how pink will always make me look sick. But I think it will always make me feel sick, too, because it was forced on me so heavily as a child. Forced by society, that is, it wasn’t my mom’s fault. I remember not knowing quite what was going on with David Bowie in Labyrinth but being really into it. {see previous blog on the subject} My parents watched a lot of MTV in the '80s, which explains most of my music and aesthetic tastes. But, more importantly, as a kid who would not understand the negative sides of the decade - the war on drugs, the AIDS epidemic, the Yuppies - until much later, the '80s were a magical time for a baby queer. Grace Jones was a strong masculine woman of color; and Nick Rhodes made it okay for “straight” men to have what I still call the gayest pink wedding I’ve ever seen. I could go on about my influences from this decade but the points that are relevant right now are these: Androgyny was fashionable, and Genderqueer was fashionable. In so many ways, the society of my early childhood, the '80s and early '90s, accepted all this stuff far better than that of my pre-teen and teenage years, the later '90s and '00s. At the time when I was affected most by society’s views on sexuality and gender identity, the culture was shifting, becoming less fluid... More into dividing by categories and labels and, to some, moralities. In my childhood, my mother was a department store makeup artist. This is a key ingredient in the Life Story of Iana. She was a department store makeup artist for Clinique, but she really wanted to be a special effects makeup artist for the movies ... like back in the days before CGI became the most efficient option, when they still hired artisans to create prosthetic movie monsters. (RIP the glory days of prosthetic SFX.) This is why I grew up watching horror movies and wasn’t scared by the scary stuff. She always explained to me how they made the zombies look dead, or blood look real, or those amazing transformations in American Werewolf in London & Thriller. Horror education aside, she also notably introduced me to makeup, brought home by her from work for me to play with. This was her most glorious, single-mom, life-hack moment: Tell child they can play with makeup and get them set up in the dry bath tub, allow them to draw on themselves and on the walls (because it’s only tile and it’s only makeup) while you sneak in a nap on the fuzzy bathmat floor. Dangle arm over bathtub so that the child knows you’re still there. When they are done, surprise! it’s bath-time, and you’re already trapped in the tub, kid! ... Frankly, it was a true stroke of genius. When people tell me “you’re so good at makeup,” it's like, of course I am! It was one of my first toys, and I’ve been playing with it ever since. You'd be, too, if you’d been playing with it as long as you can remember. It’s simply a matter of practice: do a thing 1000 times, and you’re a master, right?

Puberty

I grew up in Cuernavaca, the “affordable” hippie area of Westlake at the time. Cuernavaca is a weird little microcosm all on it’s own... I once referred to it as “The Twin Peaks of Westlake” and I stand by that statement. I attended West Ridge Middle School from 1996 to 1999. Although I was closer to my mom, I had to live with my dad in order to go to this “better” school. All the people I'm still close to from that time were kids from my neighborhood. They weren’t completely spoiled jerks, and most were probably a little weird like me. I had a beautiful best friend named Jane. I’m using her name because I want her to know if she ever reads this. Her parents were hippies while mine were weird, artist nerds into cyberpunk and technology, and we were from opposite worlds in many ways. But both of us, along with our other close friends Chelsea and Saira, were great at art. We were like an antisocial fantasy art coven who didn’t want to get involved in school politics ... we would keep to ourselves and draw when we were supposed to be taking notes, draw during lunch, and hang out after school to draw and listen to music. We hang around after class to talk to our favorite art teacher, Ms. Mouer, who always would say, “You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever!” (That’s not relevant to the story; it’s just a shoutout incase she reads this, too.) I remember this time was when Labyrinth was out of print, and I was the only girl in the neighborhood who had a VHS copy, taped off of HBO. My girlfriends would frequently come over to watch it, although once it got re-released on DVD, my house was suddenly less popular. It was in this environment that I was able to explore different aspects of my aesthetic. In hindsight, if I had been this age nowadays, I’d describe myself as non binary or genderqueer (not the same thing, but I’m not sure which I’d have used then). But at the time, I looked like an outcast no matter what; people could make their own assumptions, and I certainly wasn’t going to defend myself to anyone judging. The first Bowie album I acquired (read "stole from mom") around then was the Ryko edition of Scary Monsters - one of my favorite David Bowie songs still is Teenage Wildlife. This part always brings a tear to my eye. I think most teens can relate to this because most of us were “others” in some form: You'll take me aside, and say "Well, David, what shall I do? They wait for me in the hallway" I'll say "Don't ask me, I don't know any hallways" But they move in numbers and they've got me in a corner I feel like a group of one, no-no They can't do this to me I'm not some piece of teenage wildlife I had developed an androgynous, genderfluid aesthetic, but, problematically, I did not have an androgynous body. I did not develop into a lanky, Twiggy-esque waif like my mother. I developed hips and breasts so suddenly that I had bright red stretch marks, everywhere. To this day, my breasts were never as big as they were then. I’m assuming it has something to do with still having “baby fat” and all the new hormones working overtime, and also my diet being sugar/dairy heavy (fatter = curvier). Later, in my 20s, I was relieved they got smaller as I cut HFCS out of my diet. In any case, sudden curves meant that I had to drop out of gymnastics ... it’s very difficult to safely throw your center of gravity around when your center of gravity is extra jiggly and changing daily.

I didn’t know how to dress for my body type. At the time when I just wanted to wear oversized band tees, the only bras I could use were underwire ... it would be years before I discovered the glory of sports bras, much less breast binders. So I wore oversized band t-shirts with underwire bras, paired with pants that never fit quite right (they still don’t) or full skirts. On top of wearing what most often resembled a giant tent, I had started cutting and coloring my own hair, so it changed regularly and got shorter. Sidecuts, mowhawks, pixie cuts, and a fully shaved head at 14 years old. From the outside looking in, you could definitely tell I was either “gender confused” or “on my way to becoming a butch lesbian” to use the language of the times; non-binary was not yet a label, especially not a respected one. My room was covered in posters of comic book women (mainly the characters from The Sandman), male rock stars (mainly Robert Smith and Keith Flint), and LOTS of pictures of Brandon Lee from The Crow, with whom I have been obsessed since age 9.

One day, mom told me about a “joke” she made to my father; taking one look at my room covered in pictures of Brandon Lee, she said to him, “At least we know she’s heterosexual” It was the first time I wanted to speak up, to argue about it with someone. I didn’t care if people outside my family assumed one way or another, but I was so angry that my mom just jumped to a conclusion like that. My own mother - who enjoyed short hair and androgynous fashion, who herself had been “a lesbian in college.” She was the one that taught me that gender and sexuality were a fluid spectrum to begin with. I didn’t argue with her though; I didn’t have any evidence to the contrary, I just knew she was wrong. I grew up watching The X-Files from day one - trading her love of David Duchovny for a deep interest with whatever Gillian Anderson was doing onscreen. Mom also took me to see The Fifth Element when it came out, and I have been in love with Milla Jovovich ever since. To this day, I have bonded with many of my male friends over these two female crushes. At this point in my life, I didn’t know if I was gay or bisexual. I wasn't sure if I was comfortable with my cisgender female identity, or if I was something else. I just knew she was totally wrong. In this time also, I would say that Jane was my best friend. She was beautiful and looked exactly like Claire Danes in Stardust, which is crazy to me now, because she and I had been obsessed with Neil Gaiman’s works long before any movies and Stardust was always one of her favorites. It's impossible for me to watch the movie now without thinking of her.

So I was close to my best friend because we were weird kids. So I thought she was beautiful because she objectively was. So what? Was I gay for my best friend? Probably a bit but no more than is normal to be gay for your best friend. ... I mean, I think even heterosexual, same-sex besties should be a little gay for each other. That’s how close friendships work! This is a person you love so much that you have their back in 99% of situations, you would bury a body with, etc. You should think they’re attractive even if you don’t want to sleep with them yourself, you should enjoy their company often even if you don’t want to marry them yourself, you should love them enough that it doesn’t matter if people accuse you of being gay for them. Platonic love is still love, so even if that person is gay and you’re not, it doesn’t mean their love is romantic. What I’m building up to, dear audience, is the other shoe dropping. Jane’s “hippie” father didn’t like me. He was in the National Guard and had just come back from dealing with the aftermath of the war in Bosnia and living in Russia for a while. After Russia he was different; he bought Jane very sexy (for a fifteen-year-old), form-fitting dresses, dressed her up like a Barbie and became more strict at home. I remember her finding it distressing, but she liked fashion, so it seemed like the typical patriarchal tradeoff that my gender faces: If you want to have shiny objects bought for you, you have to obey the breadwinning man of the house. And then, in the midst of that, here came I, parading around their house with my strong sense of self, thanks to my '80s-influenced, genderfluid upbringing. How dare I waltz in there and preach the word of David Bowie to his little Stepford daughter? I, on the other hand, just knew that they were hippies, they were supposed to be into peace, love, unity; acceptance of other, races, cultures, and “free love.” I was just a kid, how was I supposed to realize her father was so threatened by my very presence in his daughter’s life? It was so long ago that I don’t quite remember if he accused me of being gay to my face, or if Jane relayed the questions he asked her about me when I wasn’t there. But I vividly remember uncomfortable dinners, where vague personal questions that would be downright unacceptable to ask a child today were posed to me. When I asked my mother what to do, she wrote Jane's father off as “an asshole,” because she was familiar with the type of man he was. She told me to just stop going over there. But then how was I supposed to hang out with my best friend? Well, in truth, after that I didn’t really. She would have to make the effort to hang out with me at mine, or I’d just see her at school. But in truth, she totally checked out of the friendship after that. She put her head down and concentrated on getting good grades in school like she was serving a sentence in jail. I knew she had always wanted to make costumes, but after that time, she suddenly needed to get better grades as her father wanted her to become a lawyer or something related. (Eventually, she ended up making costumes after all) In April of 1999, right before I graduated from 8th grade, something happened that would change my life - and the country - forever: the Columbine school shooting. At the time, the only story we were told was that the shooters were goths, and they shot up the school because they were being bullied by jocks. (We now know that it was the other way around, the shooters were also the bullies.) And here I was, a baby goth and a genderqueer “lesbian” in a school full of rich, preppy jocks. The media perpetuated the “us vs them” situation, magnifying the underlying misconceptions and misjudgment. To be honest, I probably would not have gone to Westlake high school in any case, but Columbine sealed the deal. My mom and I loved watching Heathers, and I knew a similar environment awaited me at Westlake. Fortunately, it was around this time that I became acquainted with another Cuernavaca kid who was in the grade above me, Maria Russo. She was out as a lesbian or bisexual (I don’t remember which exactly as they were essentially the same thing in that environment) and was the only other goth girl in school. She wore ripped fishnets and dog collars and was obsessed with both Rocky Horror Picture Show and mermaids. She told me she wasn't going to Westlake either and that I should join her at this cool, hippie high school she found, The Griffin School. So even though I was only 14, I told my parents I was not going to go to arguably the best public school in the city, and that instead they were going to work together to send me to this weird, small private school for artsy kids. I was always a good student, except for middle school and I blame that on everyone being more concerned about social status than actually learning anything. That’s the irony of privilege, nobody appreciated the educational resources they had they just cared whether or not my clothes were from the Gap. I sold my parents on sending me to Griffin because of my grades suffering, the fact that my best friend and I had drifted apart, and then Columbine making the world more dangerous for goth kids really sealed the deal... The backlash meant that my safety was more severely threatened by the clothes I put on everyday, which I had been wearing for years already. I attended Griffin for all four years of high school and had one of the rarest experiences for a teen - I thoroughly enjoyed every year of high school. And it wasn’t because I was popular and peaked in high school either. I felt my sense of self was respected, my sexuality or gender identity wasn’t a concern to the staff or to the other parents. Also, I made excellent grades. I have since reconnected with several of my middle school friends that attended different high schools. But I never saw or spoke to Jane again.

Adulthood

As an adult, I identify as Bisexual. There is a myth that bisexuality excludes being attracted to people of non-binary orientation because you are attracted to "males OR females." The way I see it, the "bi" in bisexual refers to both ends of sexuality as a spectrum between heterosexual relationships and homosexual relationships. The stuff in between is undefined but included.

Many of the people who would have been considered Bisexual in the '90s identify as Pansexual today. That’s fine, but I’m not going to do that. I’ve considered myself bisexual since puberty; I don’t see the point in rebranding my sexuality now when I know what I mean by it, and that’s all that matters. But I think the reason Bisexuality split off into Pansexuality is that Bisexual is still a four letter word in the gay community. It’s better than it used to be, but there’s still this feeling that we’re not gay enough.

I once talked to a Pansexual who said she has been attracted to all kinds of things, including trees. And I thought, first, "that’s very interesting," and second, "I definitely don’t identify as that." This makes it hard to be a loud and proud bisexual; I don’t hide it, but I’ve kept it private for a reason. In the past, when a lesbian I had just met (at a party) asked me about my sexuality and I said I was bi. She then interrogated me about my gay experiences in a way that made me very uncomfortable. I finally interrupted her by shouting - “I don’t have to tell you anything!” - I didn’t know her, and it was none of her business. I got defensive because it took me by surprise, both, I suppose, because I expected more from another member of the queer community, and because it triggered memories of those uncomfortable dinners with Jane’s father. But the great thing about being an adult is that peer pressure isn’t real. No one can actually force you do anything you don’t want to do or tell them anything you don’t want to share simply by “putting pressure” on you to do their will. So I stick to the Bisexual label, partially out of resentment. I had to fight so hard to find this identity; I changed schools and lost one of my closest friends over it. I’m not going to stop being bisexual just because there are some mean girls in the gay community. And, in the end, I will always defend use of the term Bisexual: it was good enough for David Bowie, and he was a fucking Genderqueer alien. If the King/Queen of Genderqueer aliens Hermself feels included by this term, why wouldn’t I? Weirdness is a part of me right down to my sexuality and gender identity. I will always be attracted to the “others” of the world. In the end, I don’t belong in the gay clubs because I don’t like dancing to Beyonce, not because I’m not gay enough.

Although we’ve come a long way, people are still surprised if I mention that I’m not straight. Not every member of the queer community is an effeminate boy or a butch girl. Just because I look comfortable as a cisgender female doesn’t mean I didn’t struggle with my gender identity my entire childhood. I went to see Eddie Izzard do his standup act the other night, the first time since I’d seen him live in 2003. Towards the end he got heckled with something simultaneously misogynist and homophobic - “SHOW US YOUR TITS!” - and audible cringe swept over the audience as we began to boo. I thought, “WOW, He’s been out since the '80s, he’s so established and respected and famous now, and he still can’t get away from this stuff.” You never get away from it, there will always be a problem for someone. All you can hope for is a bigger, better group of people around you to boo on your behalf. You’re probably thinking to yourself, “wait this is your coming out story, when do you come out to your parents?” The truth is I didn’t. This blog entry, coming out to the general public, is the most coming out I’ve ever done. I didn’t have real relationships when I was in school, and I got married to a bisexual boy when I was 19, so it never came up. At the time, we were openly bisexual to each other but neither of us really had “the conversation” with our parents. He didn’t because they were British and, although I have no doubt they would have accepted him, Brits just didn’t talk about that stuff out loud. I used to think of him as choosing to be repressed, choosing to remain in the closet, but it’s only recently that I’ve realized that would mean I chose the same thing. I didn’t have “the conversation” with my parents because A) I wasn’t having relations under their roof either way; B) my “woke” mom had already assumed wrong, and I wasn’t close to my dad; and C) I felt it was none of their business. By the time I confirmed my sexuality, I was an adult, and they had no say in the matter anyway. That’s the million dollar question - if you know your parents accept and love you either way, do you need to have a conversation about it? Are you still in the closet even if you make no attempts to hide your sexuality or gender identity? Many of my clients are various degrees of queer and trans, going through their own complex struggles with all the emotional dust that Pride month kicks up. For example, those we have lost. ... I am again reminded of the recent void left behind by an older gay friend, the closest I had to a brother; we lost him in December to suicide shortly after he was diagnosed with advanced HIV. He was in his 40s and there appeared to be some form of denial coming from his family. Even though he was a fully grown adult, it seemed like he chose suicide over living as a “sick” person and having to address the facts with his family. Pride isn’t just about rainbow outfits and drag shows. Pride in the queer community is essential to survival. Lots of statistics prove this out in different ways; here’s just two of them: “LGB youth seriously contemplate suicide at almost three times the rate of heterosexual youth." And "LGB youth are almost five times as likely to have attempted suicide compared to heterosexual youth.” [source: The Trevor Project] If is that common as a teenager, do you think that changes when you grow up into a gay adult? Not necessarily. But I’m not going to end on a sad note. I have a lot of happy memories associated with Pride, too. My favorite part of living in Chicago in my early 20s was being a block away from Boystown, the gayberhood. The parade would come down our street, Broadway, off Belmont. For a few glorious hours the street was absolutely covered in rainbow confetti and glitter. Then as everyone moved indoors to drink and party, because Chicago is a proper city, the street sweepers would drive by and clean up all the litter like nothing ever happened. Below are some pictures from Chicago Pride 2005. That year was the first and only time I’ve ever seen RuPaul perform, way before Drag Race, when Supermodel was still his top hit. The Grand Marshal was Wilson Cruz, and, as a '90s latchkey kid who watched reruns of My So-Called Life with some of TV's first out gay teens, that was very exciting! (CW: this picture of the proud gay WWII vets makes me cry every time)

In the process of writing this blog, a client who came out to me as non-binary. It’s always exciting for my shop to be considered a safe space for people to come out before they deal with the complications of telling family, if they even tell their family. We related on a lot of the same levels. Being outright gay is difficult, being outright trans is difficult. ... But being nonbinary/bisexual can be difficult in a different way; it’s like flying under the radar, sometimes even to yourself. You’re not denying that part of you is 'other', but you know you’re not 'other enough' to be Grand Marshal of the Pride Parade. Especially for folks of my generation who grew up with the fashionable androgyny of the '80s/'90s. Then when you hit puberty and struggle with having a very feminine or masculine skewing body, it’s easy enough to fall back into binary fashion since those are the only clothes that are made to fit your body. This is one of the reasons there’s so many older people discovering this stuff about themselves now. Now we finally have language for the nuances of gender identity, so we’re all able to talk about it together. Strangely enough, these concepts are as old as mankind, the language is only new to the western culture. One of my favorite things to read about is the five gender system of Native American cultures: men, women, trans men, trans women, and nonbinary are all mentioned. {see this super-rad article here} In the end, though, when people ask me about my pronouns, I still don’t know what to say. I'll get that feeling like I'm taking a test I haven’t studied for. I’m still wired to be unconcerned with what people think of me, what they call me, but I’ll try to answer to the best of my understanding. I don’t feel entirely comfortable being a female or dressing femme. But I damn well love costumes, and I got comfortable with makeup early on in my childhood. So when people compliment my feminine aesthetics, I see it as being good at drag. Like high femme feels more like drag than when when I dress in androgynous or boyish looks. High femme is a lot of work but simultaneously (relatively) easy because I understand the programming I’ve been receiving since I was a little girl. Androgyny is easier and more comfortable for my brain but also more difficult to execute given the body I have and the way they make clothes for it. (I’m getting better though, I just got a binder by gc2b which I’m eagerly awaiting in the mail any day now!) Anyway, I’m comfortable with “she” as my pronoun - in the same way RuPaul is called “she” when in drag, even though he’s “he” when he’s just Charles, right? It’s like the same way I don’t care when someone gets my name wrong the first time they try to pronounce it. ... I don’t care what you call me, just as long as you see me. 20 years later and I’m still friends with Maria, who many of you will know as the mermaid Co-Owner of Cute Nail Studio - otherwise known as the Gayest Nail Studio in the city, state, possibly the country. I hope she knows how proud I am of her and how eternally grateful I will forever be for getting me out of Westlake. It was like she tossed me a big gay lifesaver when I needed it most. In the end I think the key is not being afraid, especially now, to talk about those things. Especially during Pride when so many different flavors of queer (and non-) come together to celebrate. Don't be afraid to talk about your own pathway, the unsureness you still might have, and the childhood experiences that made you realize you were born just a little weird. Stick together so that you don't feel isolated and don't settle for feeling like a group of one. REACH OUT to you brothers and sisters and siblings of no discernible gender and tell them you love them. Love people as an act of defiance. Walk tall with your strong sense of self.

#pride #gender #genderfluid #transgender #gay #lesbian #bisexual #androgyny #controversial fashion #vulnerability

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