#but now that you've been able to move on from your grief and step out of your five year long episode you can 😏 find love again 😏

[swordwife]

severian....

#if I post my feelings at nearly 6am no one will see it #but also I am tired and maybe not coherent #he . he. just makes me emotional okay 😔 the questline and its aftermath left me a wreck #and now thinking about him :( seeing him :( makes my stomach do the thing #which is funny bc I mainly associate that feeling with hideo lmao. I think he triggers it the most #but ANYWAY #gc boolies me into playing game for a major character. I said fuck that and developed feelings for a minor npc :laughcry: #sey can you not get attached to mad scientists for FIVE MINUTES #he is funny.... smart.... dedicated... attractive... waugh dslkv s d #its mentioned he spent most of the time with his past lover just passionately talking about his research and creations... #I would like to listen. #anyway thank you sir I have feelings for you sir. thank you for assistant-zoning me :( #but now that you've been able to move on from your grief and step out of your five year long episode you can 😏 find love again 😏 #sorry i'm all over the place in these tags rn. i'm tired ok

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

In Abstract 1

A sequel no one asked for. First Series: Portrait of a Dangerous Man

Warnings: noncon/rape, some violence, blood, alluded murder (for now?), grief, confusing, criminal allusions, some untagged extreme events.

This is dark!mob!Clark Kent x reader and explicit. 18+ only.  Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Synopsis: You adjust to life with Clark, thought the past won't seem to let you go.

Character: mob!Clark Kent

Note: I don't know where this came from.

Thanks to everyone for reading and thanks in advance for all your feedback. :) I appreciate your comments and enthusiasm! Reblogs help and are like candy, so please, feed me.

I really hope you enjoy. 💋

<3 As usual, I’d appreciate if you let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply or an ask! Love ya!

A speck of red. A speck of red in a sea of blue. From the observer's eye, one would not notice. But the creator, the artist, the start error is obvious. No inadvertent, but entirely deliberate. A reminder of what it cost you.

You close your eyes and the fleck of blood sears in your mind. Like the site of your boyfriend gasping his last breaths. Ex, now. For a while. It feels like yesterday yet no time at all.

You shiver and hug yourself through the white cashmere. The sweater offers little warmth in the cold house. The glass doors look out onto the white lawn, a fresh dusting of snow trims the covered pool and blankets the landscape. It would be beautiful to any who did not know the sinister secrets of this place. The crimes witnessed by these walls alone.

You turn away from the portrait hung above the gaping fireplace. Even the crackling flames cannot warm you. There is no comfort in this house or the man who resides there. A warden, a maniac, a murderer.

You near the glass doors, eyes drawn to how the snow gathers in corners. The thin sheet of frost that cakes the panes and the fog of your breath as you stand close. The world outside is obscured by your own existence.

Silence. Stillness. Distance. Isolation. The vast grayness of your small world trapped behind a transparent wall. You touch the handle, feeling the cold metal, gripping it tight. A sudden urge to run out and dive into the heaps.

"Dinner tonight?" Clark's voice claps like thunder through the lull.

You gasp and recoil from the door. You turn to him, hugging yourself as much out of fright as the temperature. You step away from the door and your yearning for escape.

"Dinner," you repeat, your hollow voice echoing off the high ceilings.

"Yes, your mother is coming to town? We'll get her from the airport and take her to Elliston's?"

"Are you asking or telling?" You mutter as you drop your arms, tucking your hands up the cuffs.

You sweep away, crossing to the archway that opens into the spacious kitchen. You go to the counter and flip up the lid of the coffee machine. You focus on the rack of pods. It's habit more than anything, often you let your cup go cold, basking in the scent but too numb to taste it.

He follows. You sense him. Like you always do. Always hovering. Always watching.

"Don't be like this. You've been looking forward to her visit."

You grumble as you pick out the cinnamon cookie pod and shove it in the top. You shrug. Not really. You only ever play the part he wants. Move your brush to his whim, streak the paint by his word, lay on your back as he gets what he wants.

"And I have been too. I can't wait to meet your family. All of them."

Your chest winds tight. You can't tell if it's a threat or genuine. He is always hard to decipher. If you had ever been able to see through him, you wouldn't be standing there, trapped in his house, in his grip.

Five months. Five months in your cell. Five months with Marcus' blood on your soul. 

"I'll get a room ready," you put a mug under the spout and hit the brew button. 

He lurks closer. You stare and wait for the drip to begin. He puts his hands on your shoulders, the fabric turning course beneath the weight of his grasp.

"Nina's already working on it," he growls into your crown, "don't act so hard done by…"

"I'm not," the trickle spits out and hits the porcelain sharply.

"I give your more than he ever–"

You tear away from him, sliding along the counter as you spin to face him. He clucks and tilts his head, slowly pivoting towards you. The anger cordons in his cheek.

"I told you…"

He scoffs. "You're right, he was nothing. Not worth talking about. Sweetheart, it was always going to be me."

You clamp your lips shut as your eyes sting. He doesn't wake up every day in horror, he doesn't sink into sleep like a stone in mud, he doesn’t know what it is to live in black and white when the world used to be painted in a million colours.

"I'll confirm what time she gets in."

He sighs and crosses his arms. You look down at the white sweater and unroll the crumpled hem. You didn't wear cashmere before, no silk, no satin. Just cotton and tweed. Now you wear what he tells you to.

"Find something to wear for dinner," he demands, "and after."

He crosses the pristine tile and you look at him in the face, eyes glossy and pathetic. He kisses your forehead as his hand comes up to your chin, his thumb stroking your lips. He inhales your scent and lets out a growl.

"Wear the diamonds," he demands.

He lets you go and leaves you there. You watch after him as he stalks off, checking the time on his wristband. He clears his throat as he turns out of your sight. Your vision blurs to a muddy blur.

The coffee machine dings and brings you back. As much as you love your mother, how do you explain this to her? Lies are easier on the phone, but face to face, the truth is clear to see.

🎨

Your mother pulls you into a hug, her suitcase forgotten at her side. It's been almost a year since you last saw her. You and Marcus made a rare trip down for her birthday. As solitary as she prefers her life, she cherishes your rare company.

"Tweety bird, it's been so long," she hugs you, swaying you with her. She releases tou and holds you at arm's length, "don't you look like a dead mouse?"

"Ha, yeah, I was up late… painting," you smile thinly.

"Never change," she chides as you sense a shadow approach. Clark grabs the handle of her suitcase and rolls it towards him as he puts his hand on your back. "Oh, who… is this?"

"Clark," you try not to show your frustration. Your mother's always been a touch flightly, "I told you about him."

"Ah, yes, oh, that Marcus," she tuts and shakes her head, "couldn't believe it when you said he ran off but then again, I wasn't unhappy."

"Mom," you sniff.

"Well? He always left his dirty socks on the couch."

You bite the inside of your cheek. You'd rather not talk about him. You fear she'll see right through your story. Clark takes his hand off your back.

"Nice to meet you–" he begins.

"Don't be silly," she pulls him into a hug, an impressive feat as she is rail thin, "you must be the one saving my gal from heartbreak."

"Um, sure," he snorts, "you're Janine?"

"That's the one," she pulls back and fixes her wild waves, "I'm afraid she hasn't given me more than your name."

"She's been busy. Commissions and all," Clark puts on that perfect act. The gentleman with all the charm. The one you fell for. "We hope you're not too tired, I suggested a reservation for dinner…"

"Oh, yes, please, I'm starving. That airplane food is better avoided," she trills, "besides just ask Tweety, I'm mot much of a sleeper."

You shake your head in confirmation and she grins wider. Clark rolls her bag around and waves his arm ahead of him, "ladies."

"Oo, finally got yourself a gentleman."

"Mhmm," you hum as you start forward, "something like that."

🎨

You watch the wine flow into the glass, filling the belly with a rich burgundy colour. Your mother looks around emphatically as Clark gives a curt nod of dismissal to the server. You're left to peruse the menu.

“Wow, this is a fancy place,” your mom comments as she opens the leather folio containing the menu, “where was it Marc would take us? Denny’s?”

You give her a look. It’s strange, you’re mother was never one to turn her nose up at simplicity but there were some very specific sticking points when it came to your boyfriend. Ex. Or maybe money really does corrupt all.

The wine is stringent. You don’t like it. You take a hefty swig and set the stem down heavily. Clark gives you a look. Right, he has his curated image, you have to fit into that.

“So mom, how was your flight?”

“Ah, it’s fine. But I was sat next to this skinny fellow. So nervous. Jittered the whole way. I had to close the window because it made him sick. So I took a nap.”

“I hope you don’t mind shacking up with us. I thought of a hotel but we have more than enough room,” Clark suggests, “after a long day, I’m sure you’d like to just relax.”

“With us? You live together?” Your mom raises her brows.

“You knew this. Remember?”

“No, you said you moved out of your apartment, I don’t remember a where or with who. This is moving fast,” she says, “definitely not a rebound then?”

You cringe. Clark is a better actor than you. He laughs. Or maybe it is really that funny. Laughing at your dead ex and the ensuing predicament. You take another gulp of the disgusting wine.

“Well, the salmon looks interesting, “but I do prefer halibut…” she mulls over the listings, “oh, prawns. Tweety, don’t you remember when you drank all my vodka and puked up seafood all night?”

“Mom,” you swallow.

“Tweety, that’s an interesting nickname,” Clark says, opening the door for further humiliation.

“Ah, yes, well, funny story.”

“Not really,” you intone.

Your mother ignores you as she closes her menu and rests it on the table in front of her. “Her aunt used to give her Tweety Bird everything. Pajamas, stuffies, notebooks… she hates Tweety Bird. Always has but she was too nice to tell my sister so she had this little collection. I bet it’d be worth a bit now. Vintage and all that.”

“Oh, Tweety,” Clark echoes, “interesting. Cute.”

“Yellow did always suit her.”

“Anything suits her, doesn’t it?” He puts his hand over yours, “I tell her all the time. She makes paint stains look incredible. You wouldn’t believe it, at the end of the day she walks out of the studio looking like, uh, what’s that artist that does the splashes?”

“Pollock,” you answer dully.”

“She was always obsessed with men with too much time and not enough talent,” your mother remarks, “art, I’m just happy she isn’t still working at the coffee shop.”

“That was like six years ago,” you retort.

“Still, you have a degree, you should use it.”

“And she does,” Clark assures, “she’s wonderful at what she does.”

“Aw,” your mother almost fawns, “you’re such a sweetheart. Where did she find you and where do I get one?”

You barely restrain from rolling your eyes. Clark basks in the praise. You empty your glass and feel the slosh in your mind. It might be a bit too much but the wine makes the nights go quicker.

You decide on a salad. You’re not hungry. Your appetite is scant at best, food is a necessity, not a joy. Like much of your life now. It makes you miss those numbers you thought were so dire. The easy life of putting numbers in boxes and putting frozen lasagna in the oven.

The server returns and you turn your attention to his convenient arrival. You need the distraction. He nods to your empty glass and you see how Clark takes notice as well.

“Did you require more, mademoiselle?” He offers.

“One will do until we have our entrees,” Clark insists, “no good drinking on an empty stomach.”

You smile and take the stout glass of water from beside the stemmed glass, “thank you. He’s right.”

“Do we know what we’re having?” The server asks.

Clark defers to your mother with a gesture. She orders first. Halibut with the seasonal vegetables. Clark has his usual filet mignon, and you get the cobb salad. You hand over your menu and sit back, twiddling your fingers in your lap.

“Salad,” your mother comments, “when she was a teen, I couldn’t pry the onion rings out of her hands. Now look at her. It’s catching up, isn’t it?”

“Nothing wrong with being mindful,” Clark comments as he brushes his fingertips along his thick beard. He’s let it grow out, his hair too, the curls spiraling past his ears. “It’ll save room for dessert, they have a delicious creme brule.”

“Mmm, amazing–” your mother’s voice catches and she looks past you.

You don’t react right away as another serve sneaks up on you. Clark reaches behind him with one hand, covertly as if trying not to give himself away, and brings it forward as you peek up at the woman all in black. She giddily grins and backs up.

Clark takes a breath and pushes back his chair as he rises. He turns and kneels as the server hovers nearby, hands clutched together. Several other tables hush and servers look up from their work. You feel time halt as your ears ring.

Clark presents a red velvet box as your mouth falls open. For those strangers all around, those who don’t know about you or him, it must look like shock, even glee. But it's thrumming, crashing terror. No. No. Your eyes pinpoint on the large diamonds as he reveals it, three rings of smaller ones around the large.

You look up over his head then over at your mother. She dabs her eyes and covers her mouth in disbelief. You wobble as you turn back to Clark. His voice rumbles in your ears but you can’t make out the words. You blink. And blink. And blink. Gaping like a dead fish.

“...marry me?...”

His question hangs before you. You could keel over and shrivel up. You could stand up and flee. Run until you can’t stop. You close your eyes and see the blood spurting from Marcus’ chest. The image of your mother’s face flits across your mind, replacing his. You won’t let him hurt her too.

“Yes.”

The voice is not your own. It can’t possibly be because you can’t feel it on your tongue but it tickles in your ears. Clark snatches your hand and forces the diamond on, standing as he tugs you up and pulls you into an embrace. He tilts your head and kisses you. The fairy tale he writes for the onlookers is nothing more than a cautionary tale.

#clark kent #dark clark kent #dark!clark kent #clark kent x reader #au #mob au #fic #dark fic #dark!fic #in abstract #series #dcu #dc #superman

[hellcat8908]

Love Lost Azriel x Reader

Warnings: Miscarriage, Emotional Hurt, Angst

All it took was the loss of your unborn child to create a rift in your relationship with Azriel. The moment Madja broke the news, he shut down and, by doing so, shut you out. You were left to process the grief and guilt by yourself as Azriel found every excuse to be gone. He always came home late and left early. He hadn't touched you in weeks and could barely look at you.

You tried to get him to come back to you in the beginning, but it always ended in a fight with him walking out. You eventually gave up and hoped he would work through it on his own. The bond you shared had grown dark and cold on both ends. You knew you were standing at a fork in the road but refused to make a choice, leaving you stuck. Azriel made the decision for you without even realizing it.

You were visiting Feyre and Nesta at the river house. Azriel was with Rhys and Cassian in the study. You were drinking tea and talking about books when you heard shouting from the study. Feyre and Nesta started walking towards the commotion with you behind. "She needs you!" Rhys shouts. "Stay out of my relationship! Just give me the assignment and let me be on my way!" Azriel shouts back. "No, you're not working until you deal with your grief!" Rhys states, noticing Feyre and Nesta enter.

You linger in the hall not wanting to make matters worse. "What's going on?" Feyre asks. "Rhys needs someone to check on the camps but won't send me!" Azriel says lowering his tone towards Feyre. She studies him for a minute, "Az, I don't think..." she starts to say but stops when you step into the room. "Let him go, if he wants." You say as everyone looks at you, well everyone but him. "Are you sure?" Rhys asks. "You can't be serious?!" Cassian and Nesta say in unison. "Let him." You say before turning away and leaving, not caring to hear anymore.

You make your way home and settle in on the couch. A while later, the door opens, and Azriel walks in. You ignore him as he moves about grabbing what he needs. "What were you doing at the river house?" He asks. "I was visiting Feyre and Nesta." You answer. "Don't you have other friends? Friends who aren't a part of my family." He says. "Your family?!" You shout as anger builds up inside of you. "They're my family too. They've been more of a family to me than you have lately." You say. "You so selfish! You can't just let me have one thing, can you?!" He shouts.

"You're seriously calling me selfish? Maybe you should look in the mirror." You say. "You're the most selfish person I know y/n!" He says. "Oh yes, I'm so selfish to sit back and watch you pine over Elain when it was killing me, or when I'm not sure you'll make it home alive but don't beg you to stay because of how much you love this court and your family, or how selfish of me to lose your unborn child!!!" You scream as tears flood your eyes. "I'm so selfish to stay here and give you space to grief while I barely hold myself together. Go on your mission, Azriel, bury yourself in work, and keep ignoring me. When you walk out that door, though, just remember you made the decision."

His anger building at your words, too upset to fully understand the subtle ultimatum you gave him. He crosses to the door and walks out before soaring towards the sky. You feel the last of your heart break. After the tears have dried up, you quickly pack a bag of clothes before writing a note.

Azriel,

I can not do this anymore. You made your choice, and by doing so, you've made mine. I hope someday you'll be able to deal with your grief in a healthy way. I know you love me once, and I love you, but now love isn't enough anymore, not for us.

- y/n.

You leave the note on the counter with the dagger you planned to give him after the baby had been born. You take one last look at the house before you winnowed to autumn. Eris had agreed to let you stay after you had reached out to him, knowing it might come to this, no matter how badly you had hoped it wouldn't.

Next Part: 2

#acotar #batboys #acotar fanfic #sarah j maas #azriel #azriel x reader #acotar angst #azriel angst #azriel shadowsinger

[ponderingmoonlight]

(y/n)'s deal with the devil to save Nobara's life (Part V)

Part 1 - 4 of the Sukuna/Yuji x Megumi's little sister series can be found here

Pairing: Megumi's little sister x Yuji/Sekuna

Word Count: 2,5k

Synopsis: You've been through so much at Shibuya, seeing the love of you get taken over by Sukuna and finally getting him back. But this time, it will be you who begs on her knees for the king of curses to arrive in order to save your best friend's life...

Warnings: This hurts like hell lol, I miss my girl so much , as usual language, my poor baby Yuji being absolutely crushed

„I need to get moving now”, Yuji mutters while lifting his trembling frame off the ground.

“But where? Please just sit down for a while, you’ve been through so much-“

“What about the people here at Shibuya, (y/n)? Not only did they have to go through a lot, but they also lost their lives here. I can’t just sit on the ground like an idiot while my friends are out there dying.”

You hate it. The way his eyes glimmer in nothing but grief, how his face lost the spark of joy.

But especially you hate that he’s right. You can’t just stay here and let everybody else do the work. Even though you want nothing more than to rest in Yuji’s comforting arms forever, it is your responsibility to find the others and help freeing Gojo-sensei.

That doesn’t include Yuji, though.

“No, you’ve done enough here. Let me go and find Nanami, okay? You…you need to rest…Yuji?”

He steps towards you, lips forming the most heart-breaking little smile you’ve ever seen while his hand gently tucks a strand of hair behind your ear.

“I love you more than anything else, (y/n)”, he hushes for only you to hear, making your broken heart skip a beat.

Maybe everything will turn out alright. After all, you have Yuji by your side, right? No matter what Sukuna did, no matter what the two of you have been through, you will eventually make it.

Right?

He wraps his longing arms around you, pressing your frame against his chest. You let yourself fall into his touch, allowing your eyes to rest for a moment. This. This is what makes it worth all the pain. The feeling of Yuji’s body against yours, the way his breath caresses your neck ever so slightly.

“But if someone has to go, it’s me. You are the one who has done enough and I’m so sorry I made you go through all of this shit. You will stay here.”

Your shocked eyes dart open immediately, body trying to yank away from him while he holds you in place.

“I’ll get you when all of this is over. Maybe it’s hella selfish, but I can’t afford to lose you. Anyone but you, (y/n). I’m so sorry. So so sorry.”

Bad foreshadowing crawls up your spine. What is he trying to say? You swallow hard, glossy eyes searching for an answer in his worn-out orbs. No, this can’t be.

Yuji won’t just leave you here, will he?

“Don’t go where I can’t follow love”, you literally beg him, desperate hands grabbing his face longingly.

You just got him back, your Yuji, the love of your life. And now…now he wants to leave again, even though he’s been through so much? And you…He wants you just to stay here and wait for him? You shake your head vehemently. No way in hell. You won’t let him leave alone.

“I’m so sorry…But this time, I will leave you no choice. Please don’t hate me, (y/n). I’m doing this for you…”

You aren’t able to free yourself in time. With a swift motion he yanks you through the door of a nearby building, closing the door behind him so rapidly that all you can do is grab the doorknob.

It doesn’t open.

“Yuji!”

You can’t catch your breath, fists slamming against the metal door without mercy, eyes scanning the room for another way to escape.

But there’s no other door. Fuck, not even a window. This can’t be true, your boyfriend didn’t just lock you into a random building at Shibuya…You glide down the stone-cold walls, the tears in your eyes threatening to pool over.

What if something happens out there? Sukuna must have weakened his body, would he even be able to put up a fight? And what if a grade 1 shows up. Or worse…

You have to blink a few times, panic rising inside your throbbing veins. You can’t just sit here and do nothing. Even though he begged you to stay out of this, it is your responsibility as a jujutsu sorcerer.

As his girlfriend.

You take a deep breath. Calm your tingling nerves, get out of this building, search for Yuji and fight along his side. Even though he doesn’t want you there, even though he specifically instructed you to stay right where you are.

“I’m a Fushiguro after all”, you mutter to yourself.

This wall isn’t thick enough to hold you in. A single slash with your bare fist should be enough to tumble it down. You shake out your arms, desperately try to calm down your beating heart. You have to be brave right now. For Yuji, for your big brother Megumi.

For yourself.

With a swift motion you sprint towards the high wall with neck-breaking speed, pushing through it and falling onto the harsh ground underneath. Everything hurts, it feels like your whole body is on fire. Oh, how much you’d love to lay here for a while, to just stare into the dark night sky, inspecting every minor crater on the full moon above. But your body begins moving on his own, running down the empty and destroyed streets of Shibuya in order to find Yuji. Pushing through the pain, wiping away the tears that threaten to fall down your eyelashes. This is not the time to show any weakness, especially after standing your ground so bravely against Sukuna.

Sukuna…A shiver runs down your spine just by the thought of him. How he wrapped his arms around you, the way his dark voice brushed against your sensitive skin. It’s hard to believe that you survived meeting the king of curses. You, out of all the people here at Shibuya. You, when even special grade curses lost their lives to his cruel hands. Why? Why on earth did he let you live? It still doesn’t make any sense in your foggy brain.

Your ears perk up in an instant, screams and cries echoing through the hallway you run down. It almost sounds like…

No. The urge to throw up becomes almost unbearable, legs dashing even faster despite the scorching pain that runs through your whole body. This was Yuji, without any doubt. And you never heard him scream like that in your life.

“Yuji!?”

Your very own voice echoes back and forth unpromising, feet avoiding the remains of deformed people as good as possible. All these curses, some human corpses…You swallow hard. Mahito has to be here. And if Yuji is here too…

You have to hurry.

“Yuji!”, you scream on top of your lungs, noises growing louder and louder in your ringing ears.

There. In the distance, a few metres away, a head of pink hair.

“Yuji!”

“Kugisaki, run!”

The desperate tone in his voice, Nobara who just stands there and stares at him. Mahito…Two Mahitos…

“Nobara!” you shout, throwing your knife at the version of Mahito who runs towards her out of instinct.

No, he can’t touch her. If he does, she will become a curse herself. If he does, she-

“Kugisaki”, Yuji breathes out next to you.

It was a minor touch. Just the fingertips brushing over her left eye. But certainly enough to make everyone around stop in their tracks and staring at her in utter disbelief. You aren’t a fool. Good, how much you wish you were. But this slight touch is her certain death.

“Nobara.”

Your voice isn’t more than a fade away whisper. She isn’t just your classmate. No, Nobara is your friend, the only woman in class by your side, the one you shared your room with for months by know. She knows all your secrets, all your ticks, all the things that make you sad and happy. She is one of your best friends. And now. And now…

“I won’t let you die here!” you scream in frustration, eyes desperately scanning for a way out of this misery.

“Too late for that!” Mahito hollers at you.

What are you supposed to do? Are you even able to fix this? Mahito begins to laugh hysterically, imitates you in the most disrespectful way. That man…No, that creature. He is pure evil, without any doubt. Just like the king of curses himself.

Sukuna.

Your eyes widen, heart almost beating out of your chest. That man…

“Yuji.”

This is probably the worst idea you’ve had in your entire life. But Mahito, Nobara…It might be your only chance to save her.

“You need to switch with Sukuna. Right now.”

“What? What has gotten into you, (y/n)? There is no-“

“This might be the only way to save her”, you interrupt him sharply.

There is absolutely no guarantee this will work. Maybe he’ll just laugh at you like he did back then when Yuji begged for Junpei’s life. Your whole body begins to tremble, just the thought to meet Sukuna again... You shake your head vehemently, eyes darting towards the boy you love in determination.

This isn’t about you or your fears. Right now, Sukuna is the only person who can help you.

“I think I can do it. But you need to switch. Now.”

Yuji’s sharp and heavy breaths hang between the two of you, his hands grabbing yours so urgently that you can’t help but stare at him through glossy eyes.

“Promise me you’ll take me back, okay?”

“I promise”, you reply automatically.

The air around you feels thicker within the split of a second, everyone including Mahito standing death still in their tracks.

“Didn’t expect you want to see me again so early”, his dark voice comments dryly, his arm wrapping itself around your waist before you can stop it.

Your eyes meet his. The stone-cold eyes of the king of curses himself, the marks that cover the gorgeous face of your boyfriend. You want to scream at him, want to hit him with your best shot for making Yuji feel so horrible. God, how much you hate that man for what he did to him, how much you want him to pay for every sinful word, for every person he killed.

But instead, you take a deep breath in.

“I’m begging you to use your reversed technique on my friend.”

He tilts his head, a sly grin creeping up his face. Oh, so that’s what’s going on here. He has to admit, it was very brave of you to call him here. Don’t you know what he did back then when that brat asked him to heal that boy? Why on earth should the king of curses heal a pathetic human being?

“Well well, look who needs my help. Why would I do that, sweetheart, huh? Why on earth would I heal another of you brats?”

“Because I ask you to”, you reply in an instant, glossy eyes looking with his.

Your hands cup his cheeks. Fuck the way your whole body screams in your face to stop immediately, fuck the way tears start to spill out of your eyes again. This is about your dear friend, about Nobara. And you’ll do anything on earth to prevent her from dying.

“You mean like that?”

His hand brushes ever so slightly over a minor cut on your cheek, making it disappear in an instant. Your heart hammers against your chest, eyes widen in nothing but hope and determination. So he really is able to heal others. That means he can save Nobara too, right? He just has to.

“Please heal her. She’s one of my closest friends. Please Sukuna”, you breathe out.

You don’t know what has gotten into you. Was it the fear that radiated to your veins, the overwhelming feeling of standing on the brink of losing it all? You can’t put a finger on it.

But before you are able to stop yourself, you throw yourself against his firm body, puffy cheek resting against his chest.

What is this feeling rising up inside his chest? Why does his heart suddenly skip a beat, why does your sudden touch run shivers down his spine? You, the girl he laid his eyes on my months ago. You, the bravest girl he ever witnessed, who threatened to kill herself if he hurts one of your friends.

You, now laying in his arms, completely shattered by the thought of losing your friend. But what is he supposed to do? Back then all he was able to do was laughing hysterically at the brat begging him to safe his stupid little friend. Yes, nothing seems more ridiculous to Ryomen Sukuna than saving human’s lives. But the way you silently sob against his chest, your eyes widen in nothing but horror and consumed by darkness…

Why does it make his fingertips twitch? Why does he want to chase away your tears?

“I will help you”, he finally speaks out.

Did he…Did he really say that? Your eyes dart towards him immediately, hope glistening in your orbs. Oh, you look truly lovely like that.

“But only under one condition.”

Your thoughts begin to race all over again. Of course, he wouldn’t help you without something in return. Maybe it was a mistake to ask him for aid, maybe you should just call Shoko, maybe it is too late anyway…

No.

Don’t second-guess yourself.

“I will do anything you want.”

“Anything, huh?”

“Anything”, you confirm without hesitation.

“Gift me your heart. Swear that you’ll never leave my side. Enter into a contract with me that binds you to me forever.”

You can’t believe your ears, ground pulled underneath your feet. That would mean…You feel like fainting when the true meaning behind his words hits you. You would be his slave until the end of time, until someone is actually able to defeat Ryomen Sukuna. You’d be cursed for life.

Is it really worth this? If Megumi and Yuji were here right now, they’d scream into your face, begging you to just walk away, search for another way out of this misery. Never in his life, Yuji would have allowed you to make a deal with the devil himself in exchange for another life. Not you, not the love of his life. Not you, the precious sister of Megumi. You don’t deserve this fate, you don’t deserve to be cursed like this.

But you have to make a decision.

“I will do anything you want.”

“I need you to swear it.”

He walks towards Nobara who just stands there and stares at both of you in horror.

“(y/n), don’t…don’t do that”, she breathes out.

You want to break down, scream out in agony, run away and never come back.

“I swear I will do anything you want if you save her.”

But instead, you just stand there and watch him grab Nobara’s face roughly with a single tear running down your face. Is this a new beginning or the end of it all?

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, (y/n). You will stay with me until both of us die.”

Tags: @certainduckanchor @sanemiswifeyxo1  @arehzhera @ploylulla @tzubaki @beatrexworld @kenstarsworld @dazaisdick @hellkaiserinphoenix  @lauv4chuuya @shadowfoxey @starlightanyaaa @sindela @kayleegomez @sunshine7queen @magalimachete @mokoartpost @gatitam @idontknow1123 @creative1writings @sanicsmut  @mynahx3 @sad-darksoul @chilichopsticks @hellkaiserinphoenix @chuyasthighs0 @ynackerman9499 @keepghostly @wxwieeee @lovelyluna1 @froufrousnowman @hidazinie @tomiokathedepresso  @gojosrealwife  @coffeeluvr96 @mahi-tamashi @weebotaku21 @chaoticwinnercupcake @lees-chaotic-brain  @risuola  @sugurulefttesticle @wordskeeper @baku2345 @polarbvnny @ruixrei @bam-bam-bam-bame-blog @lavenderdrxp @localhehecat @alicerhr @kayleegomez

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #shibuya spoilers #shibuya #sukuna ryomen #ryomen sukuna #shibuya incident #jujutsu kaisen shibuya arc #jjk shibuya arc #jjk shibuya incident #jjk hurt #itadori yuji #yuji itadori #megumi #itadori yuuji #nobara #itadori #yuji x reader #itadori x reader #nobara kugisaki #jjk nobara #jujutsu nobara #jujutsu kaisen nobara #jujutsu kaisen sukuna #sukuna #jjk sukuna #jjk season 2 #sukuna x reader

[heartinportuairk]

I went to the final performance of Macbeth last night and I wanted to make some notes for myself so I would remember some things. I only use this account for lurking but I am making this public in case anyone scouring the David Tennant / Macbeth tags is interested in my musings for some reason.

I had been lucky enough to have seen this production three times already before last night - twice in December and once in January - so I have been able to track its journey and pick out what changes night on night and what doesn't. I have found that fascinating. Any changes were minor and pretty much exclusively found in simply the way a line was spoken. For example, the brilliant Noof Oussellam (Macduff)'s "but I must also feel it as a man" was impassioned and angry the first and last times, but the two times inbetween I found it to be more subtle. More sadness, more despair than anger. I guess it comes down to how the actor is feeling it in that point in time and I think it shows a great understanding of the character that they play them in the moment and don't just mimic themselves night after night.

The other great thing about going multiple times is viewing it from different angles. I saw it from all sides, twice from the stalls and twice from the front row of the circle. Honestly, circle was better, especially for Macbeth's death in the closing moments. You do not get the effect of the blood seeping out from under him from the stalls and I tell you now, that image from above sears itself onto your brain.

All of the actors are incredible and have been from the start, but there were a few times last night where I could feel them step up their game. Like they knew it was the last time they were going to say that line (at least for a while) so they were going to give it their all.

One of those times was Macbeth's "tomorrow and tomorrow" soliloquy which had always been brilliant and very moving, but about which something was a little different last night. The quiet, raw emotion in that speech felt as though it had been ramped up (or down??) a notch and was so palpable that it brought a tear to my eye.

Another moment came from Lady Macbeth's sleepwalking scene. Again, always brilliant and always moving but somehow desperately sadder this time around. I wanted to give that murderous, conniving fiend a big hug.

The Porter:

The porter scene is funny but obviously not as much when you know what's coming. Which is why when somebody in the audience yelled out "who's there?" right before he got a chance to say his "ok seriously do none of you understand the concept of a knock-knock joke?" line last night, it was both a shame and a blessing. I felt a bit bad for the guy!

"Alright, you've seen the show before! That was my favourite-... and it's the final show!"

But what followed was a hilarious bit of improvisation and it changed things up a bit, especially as Laura the sound engineer proceeded to make his job even harder with the timing of the sound effects that followed. It meant I was able to enjoy the porter scene as much as I did the first time, but like I said, I did feel a bit bad that his favourite line got taken away from him! (It wasn't me who called out, by the way.)

David bloody Tennant:

I've not seen much Shakespeare live (I want to remedy that, I have become completely obsessed), but I can believe people when they say David Tennant is arguably the greatest Shakespearean actor of his time. You can tell he feels and understands completely the meaning behind the words he is saying. He's not just reciting, not just reeling it off. The pauses, the intonations, the passion, sadness, grief, guilt behind every line just shows his deep understanding of the character and his innermost thoughts. On that stage, he is Macbeth.

What's more is you can tell he absolutely delights in it. Anybody who knows anything about DT knows he loves Shakespeare and it is glaringly evident when he is out on stage. He puts everything he has into it and it is wonderful to witness.

He is truly an amazing actor and a treasure and I have been so delighted to watch his career somehow continue to hit new highs of late. Everything he touches seems to turn to gold. As many have said before me, this really is David Tennant's world and the rest of us are just living in it.

The bows:

The reception this group of actors received at the end of the performance was phenomenal and no more than they deserved. Everybody on their feet, whooping, cheering. A lot of noise coming from such a small audience. The cast were both playful and tearful. To see some of the actors get a bit emotional was very touching and I hope that was, at least in part, due to the love and admiration pouring out of us and on to that stage.

An aside:

So I turn up to the theatre and head straight for the toilets on the first floor. There is one person waiting outside them because it's full inside so I wait too. Within moments, out pops DT from a set of double doors right in front of me. He quickly checks if there's anyone in the other set of toilets (there is) and disappears back through the doors again. It's fleeting, and the only other person in the queue is facing the other way and doesn't see. I keep quiet, obviously. It's just over half an hour until the performance is due to start. He's not in costume yet and the man just wants to go to the bathroom. My point is, I've now watched him live on stage in a very small theatre for approximately 7 and a half hours and at no point in that time have I actually concluded that he is real, except in those brief four or five seconds outside the toilets of the Donmar Warehouse in Covent Garden, when we're just two people who needed a wee.

#david tennant #davidtennant #macbeth #cush jumbo #donmar warehouse #donmarwarehouse

[dittydipity]

finally got around to finishing the finale of the ghost trick remaster. i've played and watched this ending more times than i can count but it's still so SO good.

all of my insane thoughts and overanalysis/overthinking under the cut

when the last portion/chapter of a game or book is called 'final chapter' or the title of the story.. GRRRRRRGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

when the four of them are discussing what to do and they're like "we might not be able to change your fate of dying" and yomiel is just. "i can accept that." 😭😭

^ HE SAYS WITH A SMILE. AUGH.

man no matter how many times i see it, yomiel getting flung back and impaled on the post never fails to make me flinch

ough.

These long, lonely ten years…

you were my one and only friend.

How about it?

Do you remember now...

*spotlight, the reveal*

...old friend?

SCREAMING CRYING SOBBING THROWING UP THE WAY THIS STORY IS TOLD

NOT TRAUMA KICKING IN 😭

he finally rember after so long of forgor...

and then the whole retelling of the story by sissel and yomiel where they narrate interchangeably without any indication of who is talking but you can still tell who's narrating hewioagljadsklfajds

Somebody, please reach a hand out to me... //

My body wouldn't move, but I still managed to reach out a "hand" to him.

ueueueue them finding the comfort they sought and needed in each other because at our cores, we all need connections..

catboy yomiel real and canon

Those ten years were very happy for me.

But they weren't happy for the man...

and there was nothing I could do for him.

^ LINE THAT PEOPLE DO NOT TALK ABOUT ENOUGH. god these lines hit so hard bc it's like. when all you want is for someone you love to be happy and you're trying your hardest and you're giving everything but you just don't know and you just can't understand that there just isn't any way for you to help, no matter how much you want to..

man just. imagine that when you finally think you're going to be free. that after so many years of limbo you think you're finally going to get what you've wanted. and when you get to the final steps of your plan, you find that your best friend, the only person keeping you afloat throughout this whole time, just died. because of you.

AUGHGGHHGHGHGGHHG GOD. GOD GOD GOD.

THE UNIMAGINABLE GRIEF AND REGRET. AND THE KNOWLEDGE THAT YOU WILL HAVE TO EXIST UNTIL THE END OF TIME WITH THESE BURDENS

jowd being the one to say this is so good. bc out of all the people, he might be the one that understands yomiel the most. yomiel's entire goddamn existence and everything he's believed and been forced to endure has finally been righted. jowd's own predicament and resulting fate change from this whole ordeal is also incredibly drastic, but that's what makes him the one who most closely relates to yomiel. yomiel's twisted, revenge-fueled desire to make jowd feel the same pain he felt turns into empathy and understanding.

I'M CRAZY. I'M CRAZZY

do you ever think about how, for the 4 of them (sissel, yomiel, jowd, missile), they have 20 years of memories overlapping each other in a 10y period? if not more, from all the rewinding and trial error of this one night? when they "return" to the new present that is born from this final aversion of fate, do they just find themselves in a completely different place in life, with a whole entire set of memories? do they just. slide "back" into place in this new timeline and replace the placeholder version of them that existed in those 10y that were completely changed, all of a sudden now with all of that version's memories and experiences?

how disorienting and confusing and discombobulating would that be, to suddenly have two completely different versions of the same period of time in your head

it's not as bad for missile, since he's only two years old when the events of the game happen, and so "only" has 2y worth of memories that overlap, but for sissel and yomiel and jowd...

and the fact that only the four of them will remember. sissel and missile are fine, as animals, but for yomiel and jowd.. how often did the people around them think they were insane, talking about things that never happened and knowing things that they shouldn't know, breaking down over things that remind them of this overwritten timeline

When we go back, our fates will no longer be interconnected.

It will be like we never met...

hiweoaghlkjadslkfjkl and in that new timeline, yomiel's one and only friend, the only being he could have called a friend in those years of limbo from the previous timeline, now has nothing to do with him.

and so before that happens, he has to apologize for everything he made sissel go through. even though sissel chose to stay by his side, it's only human nature to feel guilty for something you can't help. he needs this solace.

and sissel gives it to him.

all these four can do is hope that the stars will align and the gods that started this whole mess will allow them to meet once again

-> RAY. DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON RAY.

these have to be some of the most genuine, heartfelt lines in the game, alongside the thanks that yomiel gives sissel.

not me getting sad about ray's reluctance to even talk about himself. oh boy.

his reluctance to reveal just how much he messed up and failed. how hard he tried and how much he's sacrificed just to help his friends. telling this almost complete outsider how much of a failure he was and expecting them to understand his selfish, selfish reasons

can you imagine? waiting for 10 years to pin all your hopes and sacrifices on this stranger that didn't stop to give you the time of day the first time. and if they don't help you this time, everything would have been for nothing. having to just stand back and watch as everything happens this second time around because you can't risk messing it up this time.

doing all of this knowing that, whether things work out or not this time, you're going to disappear at the end.

Of course!

Because that's what doggies do!

🥺🥺🥺🥺😭

<EPILOGUE>

the wave of relief and satisfaction when reincarnation starts..

From just that single night as a human, I got a glimpse into their world.

And I learned something...

Their fates, their lives - they were all interconnected...

Somewhere, somehow, in some way.

And, now, this is MY new fate.

literally just in awe at this story.

the reveal of sissel's new fate w the next lines.. one of the most fulfilling, complete endings and feelings of closure i've ever gotten from a game.

It suits me just fine to curl up and watch...

...watch the strange and beautiful patterns of their lives as they unfold.

And it looks like...

...I'll have plenty to watch

here for quite a while.

and the credits song kicking in.. the way it's timed perfectly with the final reveal and snaps to the main theme in time with the end of sissel's speech. it's SO satisfying.

and the fact that the credits song is a remix of the main theme that we've heard so much throughout the game as a way to end each chapter with a sense of mystery, but this final time, it's triumphant. it's the same tune but this time we've solved everything. everything is going to be okay.

i love you ghost trick

#once again copypasted from discord ramblings #if you havent played or seen ghost trick DON'T LOOK #gt one of the games EVER. #.d #ghost trick #ghost trick spoilers

[shanastoryteller]

Happy Pride! Thank you for sharing your writing with us. I would do dastardly things for a continuation of the WWX and JYL return with the kids after being supposed dead. If that doesn't spark joy, anything untamed would be amazing. Thank you so much!! I hope you have a wonderful month

a continuation of 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12

Jiang Yanli lets her sect effulge her, reaching out her arms for anyone that's straining toward her. The Lan are hanging back, Lan Wangji staring intently at A-Xian as if they're fifteen again, but her brother is too busy being sat on and scolded by a half dozen senior disciples to notice. She cheerfully shoves A-Ling towards his sect brothers and sisters.

He may carry his father's name, but he's still her son, still raised by her and A-Xian. He can't be anything but Jiang.

Too much Jin influence is what had scared her so badly thirteen years ago, after all.

When everyone starts to calm and she's wiped a dozen tearful faces, she catches A-Xian's eye.

He nods, jerking his heads toward the house before shouting to gather the disciples attention on him so she can slip away.

She's so happy to see them all again. But someone is missing.

Jiang Yanli steps slowly through the walls of Lotus Pier. She's looking for what's changed, but it's depressingly little. They are a clan of change, like the ever flowing water of their rivers, and it worries her.

A dam can either make a lake or a swamp.

She steps into the family shrine and sees exactly what she expects to - A-Cheng sitting there, so stiffly that it has to be uncomfortable. "I thought I'd find you here."

He flinches and she's glad that his back is to her so he can't see her mirror it.

"You couldn't stand guilt when we were kids," she murmurs, stepping forward in a way that makes her skirts drag against the floor so it's easy for him to know exactly where she is. "It's why A-Xian's messes used to stress you out so much. Once you were caught, you rushed to be punished because it let you breathe a little easier. No matter how harsh Mother was with you, you always felt better once it was over."

"What sort of punishment does one deserve for killing his family?" A-Cheng asks bitterly. "I've never been able to decide."

Jiang Yanli won't cry. Tears won't help her now. "It was my idea."

His shoulders tense.

"A-Xian saved me. He didn't have a plan beyond that. It was my idea to steal away A-Ling, to fake our deaths, and to run. I was so scared over what had happened, over how close it had all been and how Koi Tower wasn't safe. I was terrified and A-Ling was so young and I couldn't keep myself safe, never mind my son. So I asked A-Xian to run away with me, to someplace I could raise my child without terror. There was fear, still, but it was a manageable weight." She pauses. "It saved all our lives, in more ways than one, and I never would have done it if I'd known you wouldn't get our letters, if I'd known what it would do with you. I would rather live with my terror than your grief."

He jerks, finally turning to face her. His eyes are red.

"What punishment am I owed for abandoning and tormenting my little brother?" she continues, throat tight. "I will take it. I will accept it threefold. I said that we were supposed to be together forever, and I left you behind. I didn't do it on purpose. I thought you were reading our letters. I thought you were still with us, just further away, and I was wrong."

"A-jie!" he says harshly, then doesn't seem to know where to go from there.

She smooths trembling hands over his shoulders, trying to keep it together. "I love you, A-Cheng. A-Xian loves you. We've missed you so much, but we've had each other, and you've been alone. You're not responsible for our deaths, but we're responsible for your loneliness. How will you punish us?"

"A-JIE!" he shouts, pushing himself to his feet so he can tower over her. "Stop - don't - I would never-"

She moves then, wrapping her arms around his waist and pressing her forehead to his chest.

He still doesn't hug her back, but his chest shakes with silent sobs that even now he can't fully let out.

It's progress.

#prompt answers #prompts are closed #asks #uggabuggawugga #fantastic username #untamed

[lilabella12]

1346 - Day 4

One early morning Madline heards the sound of hooves on front of the house.... Cassian has returned from his trip! She's so happy that he's back she can't contain her excitement.

"Brother! It's so good to see you! You won't believe waht happened yesterday, there was this bird on the roof and James wanted to go to the outhouse and....."

"It's good to see you, too, Maddie, but let me come in first" Cassian laughs.

He made it home just in time to see Rachel take her first steps.

"Hello, little one. How can it be that you've gown so much in just a few months time?"

The family gathers around the dinner table so Cassian can tell them about the things he's seen on the way. He's glad to be back home.

The next day, he gets a visitor. It's Sir McKinley to ask about the wellbeing of his family.

"Tell me, boy, how was it? How are they?"

"They took the news pretty well, your son seems to have some reservations, though. Lady McKinley promised to prepare for a quick departure. I expect they started traveling only a few days after I strarted my return."

"That's good to hear. I already decided on a new property and I would like you to help me out with a few things. You're time will be paid for, of course."

"Glady, sire. Tell me what you need and when to start. I'm actually looking for a way to supprort my family for the next year."

"It's decided then. I expect to see you just after the start of the new year."

Cassian spends the time until then practicing his archery further and going out to hunt.

Stefan and Kailas wish came true - they are expecting another child! Even though the house gets a little to small by now they eagerly expect the new arrival.

At the end of the year, Kaila goes into labour. It's a little too soon again. Neither she nor Stefan expect the intense pain she is in. It seems like she didn't cope with the last labour as good as she hoped.

To Stefans absolute dismay neither she nor the child, a baby boy, survive the process.

He doesn't know how to cope with his grief and the children.... but thankfully his brother steps in. Ronan has always been a little off with other peoples feelings but even he understands, that his brother needs him, and the girls are happy about the distraction he provides with his antics.

Stefan and Ronan grow really close during the first few weeks and Stefan can't thank him enough.

"I appreciate it, brother. I cannot put in words how much."

"That's ok." Ronan simply says and promptly goes to bed.

Stefan smiles. He even loves his awkward side.

Farhan also moves out of his house that is now empty. He couldn't stand to look at the empty beds of his late wife and Ronan, so he asks his son Alton if he can move in to help with the farm and to be near his granddaughter. Alton and Annabelle were not expecting this change, but they are glad for the help. They still have not been able to conceive again. Perhaps this little break in their chores is just what they need.

#sims4 #ultimate decades challenge #atwood legacy #the sims 4 #1340

[susandsnell]

Hey--there will be more beautiful days, and you'll even be able to enjoy some of them, hopefully soon. Love you, Coco, I know generic positivity can be grating/feel superficial and insincere and advice can be patronizing, but I'm sorry you're feeling awful and it's the only thing I can think of to try and help. please give yourself some of the grace you afford other people--you are not a failure or defective for being unable to conform to the behavioral expectations of a society that is founded on the relentless exploitation of people and planet at the deliberate expense of community. Who do u want to be? What are the things about life that you enjoy? What art do you want to create and why? You don't have to achieve on anyone else's timeline--that will come when you've found a way to keep living that doesn't consume you with grief and guilt. Who does it serve for you to be miserable? Tearing yourself down at the slightest glimpse of hope bc you're afraid of continuing a pattern of perceived failure is an easy response to fall back on, I've been there, I know how the panic swallows you whole, and breaking yourself out of that tortuous cycle is hard and it sucks but please keep trying--anything that drives those windows of intense self-loathing further apart and shaves them down is a step towards a you that you can and WILL be proud of, even if you can't believe it right now. This might sound stupid but honestly having an idea of what you want your life to look like that you can break up into achievable steps and focus on/prep and strategize for can help with a sense of structure. The practical things you do to stay afloat can be romanticized or modified in ways that make you feel more engaged--music or podcasts or audiobooks while you do laundry and dishes or clean the bathroom, that kind of thing. I think you'd mentioned before that you don't typically have problems keeping up with house chores? If that's still true, could you maybe adopt an older cat? It helps to have something else to take care of and come home to, and it's easier to stop fixating on what you hate about yourself when you have a dumb little animal flopping around in your space. You seem like a very analytically-minded person, maybe give yourself projects that intersect with your passions? Aspirational as well as critical, like what specifically have you internalized from the formative works like Frankenstein and Carmilla or Les Mis or Phantom, and how do they inform the way you think about art as creation, or gender conventions in certain genres and art forms, what techniques and subversions fascinate you, etc, just earnestly dive into what you want to make and see and engage with for yourself. When the day to day becomes easier to manage, you'll have the time space and energy to start forging the community you crave or strengthen the connections you've already made. it'll take some time to get there, but that's okay bc you'll get there. And it'll be worth it.

It's taken me quite some time to answer this because I'm genuinely at a loss for words, this moved me so much. While I do think my inability to conform to societal behavioural expectations without any clue or good reason for being this way, no excuse or sympathetic cause to this dysfunction, is a very fundamental defect, like a part of me I'm supposed to have that everyone does is just missing, while I ache at the thought of timelines and the thought of how much time I've already lost, being partway through my twenties and this far-gone and still having such a long road ahead of me until I can come close to what's come naturally to people far younger - and I desperately want to be some semblance of normal - this lifted my spirits and gave me something to hold onto in ways I cannot begin to express. I'm completely overcome with this, and astounded by the thoroughness, the thought, the attention to details I've mentioned before (in concrete examples that I can work with), and the care and compassion combined with concrete steps I can - and want to - take to get better. That you've seen what a wreck I am and still have such faith I can find better footing - that I haven't fucked it all and it isn't too late for me - is touching and inspiring in more ways than I even know how to express. Thank you. Thank you. A thousand times, thank you.

Love you too, anon. Love you so so so much.

#<3 #keeping this forever #oh my god

[storiesofsvu]

Journey to the Past Epilogue

Past Bryan Kneef x reader no real warnings. Just a wee lil wrap up so we see where yn ends up down the road. Thank you to everyone for joining in on this journey, i hope you've had fun and don't hate me too much for the angst LOL. Stay tuned for some bingo fun over Feb, and two new series dropping soon. If you haven't already, fill out a taglist here! Happy Tuesday!

Four years.

It had been four years since you’d walked out of Bryan’s apartment and thus his life and neither of you had heard from each other since.

Right now, things seemed to have changed as he stood in your office, the door open a crack behind him as he waited for you to return from whatever meeting you were in. He couldn’t help but pursue through the shelves, looking over the personal photos that told him just how your life had changed since the two of you had gone your separate ways. He felt a surge in his chest as he let out a low breath, part of him wishing that things had worked out, the other part of him knowing that no matter how hard you would have tried, it wasn’t meant to be.

*

You walked back into the firm after lunch, letting out a soft sigh as you shifted back into work mode, shaking out of it until Larissa suddenly held up a hand outside your office.

“What?” You asked, raising a brow.

“Your next meeting is here.”

“Okay, and?”

“It’s for the Athletic Association…” She winced at you took a breath, remembering exactly who you were joint on with that client. You smoothed out your suit, sighing softly.

“Thanks for the heads up.”

“Course boss.”

You paused right as you hit your office door, mentally preparing yourself for seeing Bryan again and you had to admit, you could feel the nervousness fluttering in your stomach. You stepped into the room with a warm smile on your cheeks and when Bryan turned around you could tell that he was practically frozen on the spot.

“Hi.” You greeted, crossing through the room.

“Hi…” Bryan replied softly, his eyes on you as you moved to your desk. If it was possible, you were even more stunning than you were before. As his gaze moved up your body he stalled at your left hand, a gorgeous diamond on your ring finger, one that definitely out shined the one he’d chosen out.

“Have a seat.” You prompted while you took your own, pulling your chair into your desk and digging through the pile of files on your desk, if you kept this strictly about work maybe it would be quicker, easier, though it still felt awkward.

Thankfully Bryan followed your lead and the two of you were able to professionally go through everything you needed to. As the time went on the awkwardness slowly disappeared and the feel in the room was almost like you were back at school together. It was easy for the two of you to volley back and fourth with no confusion, speeding through the legal side of things with no issues, just two brilliant lawyers working a joint case.

“You’ve got the info for the meeting on the tenth?” You asked, flipping the file closed after you’d added copies of Bryan’s paperwork into it.

“Cherry Circle at seven thirty.” He replied with a nod.

“I’ll see you then.” You shot him a small smile, extending a business card to him on the off chance he’d deleted your number, “call if you have any questions.”

“Thanks.” He accepted the card from you and in haste to make sure your fingers didn’t touch your arm hit a picture on your desk, knocking it over. Bryan was quick to catch it before it toppled off the desk, glancing down at it for a moment as his brow furrowed before he put it back. “Is that… Emma?” He asked, referencing one of the kids the two of you had babysat in preparation for your own.

“Uh.. yeah…” You smiled warmly glancing toward the photo as you fiddled with your ring.

“You… and Nate?” He asked cautiously and you chuckled.

“Turns out the hospital recommends the same grief counsellors.” You felt your cheeks flush, your gaze dropping from Bryan’s for a moment, “we ran into each other a few times, figured it would be a good idea to keep in touch, help each other through things.” You shrugged and Bryan watched a happy smile break out on your cheeks, “one thing just… lead to another.”

“It looks like you’re happy.” He smiled, “guess that’s all that matters.”

“Very.” Your eyes darted down to his left hand, finding it bare, not that you really expected to find out that he was married but there was always the chance. “Are you…”

“No.” He laughed, “guess you were always right about that too.”

“Hey, you’ve got some redeeming qualities.” You teased and he laughed, slipping his files back into his brief case as he moved to stand.

“I’ll see you next week?” He extended his hand out for a handshake and you accepted it.

“I’ll call if I find anything else.”

“Thanks.” With a tight smile he moved through the office, pausing just at the door, “it was good to see you.”

“Yeah.” You returned the smile, “you too.”

With a small nod Bryan pulled open your office door and made his way out of the firm. He was just at the end of the hallway when Emma and Carson came barrelling past him, a younger woman he assumed was the babysitter or nanny a foot behind them. He paused in the doorway, looking back to your office and the way Emma launched herself into your arms, animatedly talking about her day. He felt a twinge of regret, however, couldn’t help but smile at just how happy you were. You finally got what you’d been wanting for years, and the adoration and joy on your face was pure proof of that. He hadn’t seen you that happy in a long time and he knew that letting you walk away from him those years ago had been the right choice. You were exactly where you were supposed to be.

_________-

@witches-unruly-heart @plaidbooks @thatesqcrush @misscharlielulu @momlifebehard @alwaysachorusgirl @xovalliegirlxo @beardedbarba

#bryan kneef #bryan kneef x reader #journey to the past #the good fight

[my-brothers-corrupted]

My Brothers, Corrupted

Book Five: Final Section

As we draw to a close, the brothers name kittens and look back at where they used to be. Masterlist

Tws for grief, past abuse, and past distress. Tws may not be completely exhaustive - keep in mind the heaviness of the fic and look out for yourself.

Thank you to @lehhoh7822 for taking the time to compile this book! Genuinely, I would never have been able to post all this without you. Everyone who is reading it again is only do so because of your generosity with your time. Thanks.

.

unpredictably-ghostly asked:

No, I think you might be right, it's about time for us to step back. You guys are moving on from your time with Anti, and we were a part of that, but now things are getting better, you don't really need us anymore. We're all so proud of you for how far you've come, and for all the wonderful things there can be in your futures. You deserve independence and freedom, and if that means we have to start saying goodbye, that's what we can do <3

“I mean, it’s - it’s about us stepping back, not you,” says Marvin tenderly, glancing away. “You were there in Anti’s time, yeah, but not in a bad way. Like the way my brothers were there when Anti was there. Not in a bad way.”

He hears Henrik laughing from the room over. There’s evening light in Marvin’s eyes.

“Has been a long time, hasn’t it?” he muses. “I don’t think it’s occurred to the others so much that maybe it’s a little strange to have you around. Schneep in particular is really attached to having you around. I think ever since he was alone with the magicians in Peru he’s been very attached. But you’ve been something very stable to all of us, through a lot of different phases. I don’t know how to express to you how valuable that’s been.”

He’s maybe shy about it, because he won’t quite look at you.

“Anyway, it’s just a heads up,” he adds. “Just a thought.”

scunneredzombie asked:

Of course you can be on camera less guys! You've done so much healing, we're one of the last pieces of the past, and it makes sense to slowly let us go. Just be sure to update us any time you can, we love seeing you healthy and thriving and healing.

“Yeah, updates,” nods Marvin. “We could do that. Maybe start to move towards interacting more normally. Like updating a friend instead of live-streaming your life for them.”

He chuckles. “There will be less and less worth ‘live-streaming,’ as we move past some of our drama and put ourselves back together more and more. And that, I think, is a good thing.”

Anonymous asked:

We've been a line of truth and sanity for you guys for a long long time now, I understand why Henrik and all of you would be attached to us

“Right,” says Marvin, scraping his fingers over his scalp. “Sometimes the only line of truth and sanity. But at the same time, it’s not exactly healthy to be over-reliant on anonymous strangers talking to us from countries away, no matter how much we appreciate you all. And I don’t want you to feel that you have to watch over us, either. Certainly we couldn’t have gotten here without you, but we are here now, you know? It will have ups and downs, but we’re learning to make our own decisions a little easier. To solve our own problems without needing as much encouragement and help as we used to. That being said… you are a dearly comforting safety net.”

crystalninjaphoenix asked:

It's okay, Marvin. I will admit, I'll be a bit sad, but we can't constantly be there, you know? That'll probably have some sort of effect on you guys. Don't worry about it. We're okay.

Marvin smiles at you, shaking his head.

“I figure for all the worrying you’ve done for us, it’s only fair to worry a little bit in return. I’m glad that Anti’s system remained running even after he died. The thought that we could have just been cut off from you then and there… that would have been fucking hopeless. Sometimes you were the only voices we put any faith in. The only stability we had to cling to.”

It’s uncharacteristically soft. Uncharacteristically needy, in the sense that he hates letting most anyone know he needs them. But you know that by now. You know him.

“Thank you for that,” he says, quiet and firm. “For everything.”

Anonymous asked:

Privacy is something you lot haven't had in years. I think turning us off now and then is alright, you deserve to have times just for yourself. No audience, no cameras, no livestreaming. Just brothers, family, and healing.

“Yep, we’re a little weird like that,” grins Marvin, shaking out his hair again. Just a little bit longer, and he can tie it back. “After the way Anti watched us, having you around without him there was no problem at all. But you’ve never been a burden to us. The lack of privacy, we’ve barely even started recognizing it until now. Change can be scary, but it can also be good.”

The giggling of his nephew and niece draws him from his severity, and he straightens up and smiles like you weren’t talking at all.

“Well, look who it is,” he calls, shaking his head, and ruffles up their hair when they come over to hug him, all full of smiles. “The little devils themselves.”

“Uncle Marvin, are you going to do some magic so Daddy can come see me in Sweden?” asks Hunter, clinging to his pants.

“Of course I am, darling. My friends and I are already working on the mirror so you and Dad can visit each other no problem. Why? Is Mum talking about going home?”

“She said school is going to start,” says Izzy. “So we have to go home on Thursday. But can’t we go to school here?”

“I’m sorry, my dears, but your mother has her work and her life in Sweden now, and it’s better for you to have some stability. But I’m sure Mom and Dad are working out how to have you visit Dad a lot as well. He would even come live closer if he needed to - although I’m hoping I can help work around it.”

He glances out of the side window to see Chase and Stacy deep in conversation on the front porch.

Anonymous asked:

Is something going on Chase?

Marvin tilts his head, looking at Stacy’s face. Chase is turned away from him, but Stacy is looking up at his little brother with big doe eyes.

Marvin cranks the side-window open, just a little.

“You don’t even remember, like, why we split up and all that, and it’s not really fair for me to say one way or the other - ”

“No, I get that, really, Stace, I just - I just want to know where we stand, okay? You’re right, I don’t remember all of it. All my heart knows when I look at you is the way I used to feel, the way we used to be in love, and I just need to know - ”

Marvin closes the window abruptly, blinking.

Anonymous asked:

Marvin, I think you used to have a cat named Queenie? A big fluffy white one! You should ask around and see if anyone has pictures of her, I'm pretty sure the cat collar belonged to her.

Okay, you’re totally correct but quick note: I got too sad to kill Queenie and Athanasius so I used my artistic license and changed their names in this one lol. If you want to refer to them as Queenie and Athanasius that’s no problem, I’ll just have Marvin call them Soup (the female one) and Feichin (the male one), which are the silly names I picked for them in this story. Just so you know!! Either way is fine.

“Aw, a big fluffy cat,” murmurs Marvin, his mouth filling up with a frown. “Poor little things were so ragged on the… you know, on the porch.”

It still makes him sad. He wishes that big fluffy cat were waiting for him now.

Stacy’s pushing in through the door a minute later, and he turns to her with a smile. “Hey,” he says.

She hugs him from the side, which has become their daily greeting. He didn’t need Stacy to explain to him that they had always been close friends: he had felt his warmth for her from the first moment he saw her. He squeezes his sister against him. “Everything okay?”

She hums, nodding for a moment before looking up at him. Her eyes are clean and her mouth smiles. “Yeah,” she says. “Yeah, I think everything is.”

“You can talk to me anytime if you need.”

“We’re okay.”

“Okay. Well, hey, I was wondering if you had any old pictures of my cats?”

Stacy furrows her brow and pulls her phone. “Well, I ought to, seeing as you used to send them to me en masse.”

She holds her phone up for him a moment later, and Marvin’s breath catches in his throat a little.

It’s him on a red couch, leaning back casually, a pair of cats both standing on his legs and resting their front paws on his shoulders. There is a huge, fluffy white one resting primly against his chest and a smaller bengal squinting warmly at the camera.

“Aw,” is all Marvin manages, touching the side of the phone gingerly.

“I’ll send them to you, okay?” offers Stacy.

“Thanks.”

Chase comes in after Stacy, sparing Marvin a smile as he sets some groceries down in their semi-functional kitchen. “Want me to get started on dinner?”

“Oh, I’ll do it, no worries! You just spend some time with the kids and their uncles.”

“Okay.”

Chase comes back to sit down on the floor beside Marvin, who’s still fixed on that image, and his hands resting on the backs of his pets.

Anonymous asked:

(Right, I should've realized the name change!!) Marvin, do you think it would help if you got a cat again? Maybe a friend for Noodle! Or do you feel it would hurt more than help?

“A friend for Noodle,” says Chase eagerly.

Marvin snorts. “Um, I don’t know,” he sighs. “Just reluctant, I guess. Kind of feels like - maybe it’s silly. Kind of just feels like a betrayal. I didn’t even remember my cats. My own cats. That just sucks. And even if I get new ones, it won’t be them again.”

He sighs. “Wish I was a necromancer.”

Chase sinks into his side after a moment, warm and present. Marvin turns and brushes at his hair, smiling at him.

Anonymous asked:

So Chase, how's it going with Stacy?

“Ohhh,” says Chase, turning a little pink. He plays with his fingers. “Oh, you know, fine.”

Marvin is grinning at him. Chase flushes as he looks at him. “What?”

“You were talking pretty loud,” admits Marvin.

Chase sinks a little farther against the wall, smiling a bit despite himself.

“You’re a bold man making a go at her,” says Marvin.

Chase chuckles. “Stupid man. How could I not, though? She’s so pretty.”

“Is she going to give you another chance?”

“No,” says Chase. “But that’s okay. She said it wasn’t fair to me for her to remember all the bad shit we did to each other and me to not remember. She said we broke up for good reasons and right now we need to focus on the kids, which is true. We’re going to learn to be partners in parenting before we even talk about anything else. And that felt right.”

Marvin sets his head back, humming.

“She said she wanted me to date some other people first anyway,” adds Chase. “And that she’s seen some guys here and there and we both need to figure ourselves out a little bit. That felt right too.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes. But then, just at the end, she said that she still does remember how good it was when we were in love, and that maybe, if we figure things out over the next couple years, and I stay sober - well, we could talk about it again then. But she didn’t want me to wait around for her. She said to go meet people and just worry about myself and the kids.”

Chase closes his eyes and sets his head down on Marvin’s shoulder. “So I think that will all be alright. Just to grow on my own. And now I know.”

“She cut you loose,” says Marvin fondly.

“Yes,” says Chase. “I won’t obsess over her so much now. I’m a free man, Marv.”

“That you are,” says Marvin, kissing the side of his head. “Now and forever.”

“Amen.”

Anonymous asked:

Any luck getting in contact with the Ravens, guys? Henrik I'm sure you miss them majorly, and I'd love for them to get to see you so safe and healthy

“You know, I left them a message just yesterday,” says Henrik, watching a movie with JJ and, now that they’ve run in, the kids. “Marvin’s friends helped find the number, some magic directory, I suppose. Haha. But they did not answer and then the voice message was in Spanish, so I just left a message asking for Emmanuela or Hermann or someone, and hopefully they will call me back. I would like to speak with them very much.”

“Hey.” Chase pokes his head in the door, smiling at his brothers and his children. “Come on and get some dinner.”

They leave the laptop with you on the bed, and as they crowd into the dining room, you realize there are no cameras in there at all: just nearby ones that, over the course of the next hour, send you the sound of their laughter many times over.

.

Anonymous asked:

Have you guys thought about trying to contact Jack? He might remember you once he sees you, like how Dark slowly remembered Anti. It might be worth a shot.

This is an idea I toyed with including, but ultimately, I have decided to leave it to you to imagine whether or not they would contact Jack again and what his reaction might be. Whatever you think is canon, is canon. Thank you for asking.

Okay, guys… if I can hold to my guns, the next scene should be the last :’)

Anonymous asked:

Hey Trick, you should surprise Henrik with some hanukkah candles! The last time he got to celebrate was still in captivity, getting to connect with his religion in a freer state of mind would be wonderful.

“It’s September now,” Henrik says. “Rosh Hashanah will be closer.”

“Summer’s ending,” complains Chase. “I don’t want it to get cold.”

“I do. I will like to see all the leaves turn color and fall onto the grass. And I will have coffee all day and make pie.”

Chase sends him the football along with a look of faux despair, and they laugh as it bounces off Henrik’s foot and nearly hits him in the face. The red ball, a little deflated, rolls back and forth between them on the soft hot grass.

“We can celebrate Rosh Hashanah exactly as you like,” Chase continues, kicking the ball up and catching it on his knee before bouncing it back to his brother. “And Hannukkah too, when it comes. You can have candles and all the latkes you can eat.”

Marvin rests in the grass nearby, Noodle purring next to him as he reads Inkheart. The ball rolls close to him.

“I’m not getting that for you if you hit me with it,” he warns.

Henrik appears above him with the ball, looking mischievous, and Marvin lets out a short bark of warning as he mimics dropping the ball right onto Marvin’s face, catching it again at the last moment. Marvin swats at his ankles in vengeance and Henrik darts away again, laughing.

“Miscreants,” mumbles Marvin, lying back again and stroking Noodle’s back. Jameson waters the flowers around the house and the little cat graves, wandering around the property and the border of the forest with no shoes and total freedom.

Anonymous asked:

So out of curiosity, are all of you in therapy now? If not you should be! All of you need it, even if things feel slowly better, you'll need a professional to help you work through the traumatic memories and feelings. - 🎒

“JJ sees a psychiatrist,” says Chase. “And has a social worker from the hospital checking in with him. Marvin does go to therapy. Him and I have our appointments at the same time, with different shrinks in the same office building. Jackie has been distracted with everything, but from what I understand, he plans to keep going to see someone. Schneep probably needs to see a clinical psychologist too. We’re trying to find someone a little more specialized. Since his triggers are kind of intense. He will, though.”

Henrik nods, returning the ball to his brother. “Need to see a trauma specialist who has worked with torture and abduction before.”

Chase’s mouth purses unhappily, something flashing through his face. But as soon as the grief and the fear appears, Chase lets it go again, closing his eyes for a second and letting it settle back into his mind. They’re safe. There is no reason to grieve anymore, or not right now, anyway. He’s here.

Marvin has cut Henrik’s hair and it is short and neat. His new glasses are still unbroken and always clean of smudges. He wears a t-shirt and sweatpants as they play on the front lawn, and the scars, though visible from several meters back, do not bother him.

They’re not as identical as they once were, Chase supposes, scratching a hand through his flop of hair, his face dotted in freckling. But he thinks maybe that’s a good thing.

Anonymous asked:

Do you still feel any dysphoria over your body, Marv? You've come a long way and I'm proud of you!

Marvin hums, settling the book on his chest for a second and closing his eyes. The warm sun soaks into his skin. Against his body, Noodle is a heavy, fuzzy, reassuring weight.

He isn’t in pain. The body is his.

“My skin isn’t a prison anymore,” he says, running his hands over Noodle’s fur. “I dream, sometimes, that Anti is under my flesh again, and I wake up sick and hating myself. But then I try to take care of myself in revenge.”

He grins coldly, shaking his head.

“It’s my last rebellion against him. He tried to make me hate myself so much. Hate my body. Tried to take my autonomy from me. And I would want to hurt myself because of it. But now - it’s been months since he died. Months since he possessed me. And I won’t give him the privilege of still having control over me and my body. So when I want to hurt myself and hate myself and hide, I get a hot cup of mint tea and wrap my blankets around me and put on clean clothes. I take a long warm shower. I put on my favorite jewelry and comb my hair. I eat. I walk in the forest. Brush my teeth. Kiss our cat.”

His eyes open lazily. The sunlight makes the blue so clear you could swim in it. He is spread out in the grass in a soft white shirt and shorts, his ears and fingers glittering with jewelry. He sinks a hand into the long, overgrown grass, and you see tiny flowers bud up around his palm, a ladybug crawling onto his wrist out of curiosity.

“So I guess I still feel dysphoric, sometimes, yeah. Sometimes cause of Anti and sometimes because I don’t want to be a man today and sometimes because I just want to punish myself for the things that I went through. But I rebel against it… I love myself instead.”

[Anonymous asked:

Sending this as a scene request because it feels like it's too late in the story to send it to Trick. But do you think he'd ever get in contact with Xin Yi again? How would that go? Would they still have crushes on each other, would they end up together? Can we see how that would go when/if it happened? Ty Bee!

I will have to leave that one up to you to imagine - sorry I cannot fulfill the scene request <3 If you want him to find her again, of course he does. I’m not sure how he would - maybe she still runs that same hawker stand with her family back in Singapore, and the boys will go back and travel to all the places they once hid, and meet these people on better terms. Chase’s memory of Xin Yi is limited because Anti tried to get rid of her in his head, but he might remember her better if he could see her again.

I can tell you that my personal headcanon is that Xin Yi and the sunbird magician in Singapore, Caleb, met after what happened, because Xin Yi came back to look for Chase when he disappeared and Caleb was her only lead. She found out through Caleb about magic and the monster in that house who burned him so badly.

Caleb survived Anti’s attack and is rebuilding the sunbird order in Singapore. I like to think Xin Yi is helping him.]

Anonymous asked:

So what are you going to do with yourself now, Marv? Mostly magician stuff? I think it should be up to you what you become after all this! You're free and strong now. I hope you know now you were always beautiful, even with shaved hair and sick in your eyes. You've always been someone worth loving.

Marvin beams, sitting up in the grass and stretching luxuriously. “A lot of magician stuff, I expect,” he says, a little amused. “But then again, my friends tell me I did some translation work before all this. I went to school for linguistics, I guess, which is why I speak a few different languages. I can do… a lot of things, really.”

He grins at the blue sky. “I can do anything.”

And he is beautiful in the same way that that sick survivor in the hospital bed was beautiful, because he is still hoping for something.

“I feel beautiful,” he adds. “Thank you. For the days when I didn’t, and you told me I was worth having anyway.”

Anonymous asked:

What has Jackie been so busy with??

“Well,” says Chase. “He was working a lot at the theater. And then he got stabbed and was on bedrest. And then he met Max! So he’s been kind of distracted from therapy, in general.”

Anonymous asked:

Seems I missed a few days, but check in time! What's everyone's emotional status? All good in septiceye world? - 🎒

“Good,” say the twins together, rolling the ball between them.

“The kids are going to come stay with me for a whole weekend as soon as the magic mirror or whatever is cleared for travel,” says Chase proudly. “And I haven’t had anything to drink since that girl gave me wine. It wasn’t even good wine. And Schneep’s been looking at jobs.”

“Oh, only a little,” says Henrik. “Just discovering what my options might be if I want to try and work again. Maybe a little later. For now, I am content to rest, and we are not so short on funds that I must return to work.”

Marvin stands up, patting Noodle on the head. “And I think I’ve answered the question,” he says. He straightens up and his eyes find his youngest brother just within the forest, kneeling and working in the dirt. Marvin flashes him a thumbs up. Jameson blinks at him for a second, but eventually gives a thumbs up in return before going back to his task.

Marvin is distracted by the buzzing in his pocket. He pulls out the cell phone they share between them and accepts the call from an unknown number.

“Is it Jackie?” asks Chase.

Marvin shakes his head, listening for a minute. The twins exchange confused looks as he turns away from them and talks.

“Henrik,” he calls after a moment. “Come here.”

He holds the phone out to him.

unpredictably-ghostly asked:

Oh? Who's calling??

Henrik approaches his brother skeptically. “Don’t do this to me, Marvin,” he warns. “Don’t mess with me on this.”

Marvin just grins and passes the phone to him. Henrik bites his teeth together for a second before taking it and setting it to his ear.

“Hello?” he says.

A couple voices hush each other on the other side. “Henrik?” calls a voice.

Something catches in his chest. “Oh! My friends!”

He hears a wild shriek and then, an ocean away, the raucous, delighted laughter of a group of Peruvian magicians, who have been waiting to hear from him this whole time.

Henrik hears himself laughing too.

“He lives! Long live the doctor!”

“Henrik, you ass, we thought we might never hear from you again!”

“Are you well? Hey, let me talk! Henrik, are you well?”

“I hope you sent that monster back to hell where he belongs!”

“I’m well,” he laughs, clinging to the phone. “I’m - I’m well, yes. I’m very well now, oh.”

nikkilbook asked:

Whatcha working on, Jaimer?

Jameson glances back at you, eyebrows raised.

“Nothing,” he signs after a second, his body hiding his project. “Just… gardening.”

He hears the hollering from Henrik on the phone and looks back to see him smiling and talking to his friends. Jameson looks back to his task, a breath falling from his mouth, almost a sigh. In his hands, a rounded stone. He sets it on the ground with a grimace, wiping at the sweat on his forehead.

nikkilbook asked:

Gardening for y’all, or for the kitties?

Jameson shrugs. “For me, I guess.”

He sets another rock down on top of the other, running his fingers over it.

Anonymous asked:

Chase, JJ, do you hang out together now? Do you feel more like proper brothers, love each other, treat each other with respect? I feel like that'd be a mark of extreme healing for you two after Anti made you to hate each other so badly all that time ago.

Chase pulls his attention away from Henrik with a chuckle, knowing he’ll want to talk to his friends for a while. He lets the football come to a rest beneath his foot and spots Jamie working alone beneath the trees.

“Everything changed when I was given a taste of what it really must have been like to be him for so long,” he says, gazing out at him. “When I realized it wasn’t actually being spoiled or treated better than the rest of us. It was just another version of abuse.”

He treads out towards him, his cat running over to walk with him. “I think my hatred for him died that day Anti dragged us both up to his room in the California house and locked us in together for so long. My head was so scrambled. He was the only thing I was clinging to. And Anti treated me so warmly, but so terribly at the same time. What a form of torture: to be that confused and hated and loved at the same time. If I didn’t have Jameson there, I would have lost myself… permanently, I think. I could never have fought free without him helping me. He saved me. I think maybe we saved each other. Since then, I don’t have any anger for him, not anywhere inside me. He’s my brother. And I sure respect the fuck out of him for fucking surviving the treatment Anti put him through. For being able to fight at all after that - he’s one of the toughest sons of bitches I know.

"Now we’re working on being friends too. We went out for coffee the other day, to make up for the day I missed last week, and it was good between us. He does get so shy though. Not even of other people. Just of me. There’s a part of me that feels he’s still waiting to be rejected by the rest of us: for us to decide he’s not worth the trouble, or that he’s too much like Anti, or something like that. But it’s something we just have to affirm to him again and again - that he belongs with us, that we love him. I’d like to see him bold again. I will see him bold again. I’m tired of seeing him afraid.”

Noodle runs ahead of Chase with a meow to greet JJ, pulling his attention back to them. Chase smiles at him and JJ manages a twitch of a smile back at him before turning away again, kneeling over his project.

Chase kneels down beside him, touching his hand.

“Hey,” he says. “Hey, what’s wrong? Look at me.”

JJ looks back at him, a little red-eyed. Chase touches his shoulder, his thumb grazing his chin.

After a moment, JJ sinks into his side. Chase holds him against his chest.

“What’s the matter, love?”

“Love,” JJ signs back, pressing it against his brother’s heart, and then he just sighs and closes his eyes.

nikkilbook asked:

Is it a cairn for the twin you could have had?

Chase touches the smooth surface of the little set of stones JJ has set up in the woods. Jameson hides his face in one hand, refusing to look up at him.

“Jamie,” says Chase. “Hey, we’re okay.”

Jameson finally lets his hand fall from his eyes, shaking his head.

“I’m just sick of not being normal,” he says. “Everybody else gets to have their twin. Everybody else gets to be together. I’m just his fucked-up other half. And I hate that I miss him most of all.”

Jameson’s face contorts with fury and grief. He sinks back onto his heels, closing his eyes and hiding his face again.

“I’m always going to be set apart from the rest of you,” he says. “I wish I could have been enough to make him love me.”

“That’s not - ”

“I know it’s not,” Jameson interrupts. “I know I never could have. I know he chose to be the way he was. I always knew it. But it doesn’t make me feel any better. I’m sorry, Chase.”

Chase looks up at him, blinking. “For what?”

“For not getting everyone a better ending,” he says. “ For everything. For not having a happy ending for you sooner.”

“Why is that on you?” asks Chase, startled.

“I’m supposed to fix things,” says JJ helplessly. “That’s why - that’s why he made me, but I still can’t - ”

His words falter from his hands. Chase presses closer to him and hugs him tightly, pulling his head against his shoulder.

“C'mon, then,” murmurs Chase, pulling away from him after a second.

“What?” asks JJ.

Chase gets up on his feet and wanders in a circle for a moment, leaning down to pick up a medium-sized stone. He comes back to JJ’s side and kneels, placing the stone atop the ones JJ has already erected.

Jameson wipes at the tears on his face and gets back up, collecting stones of his own. They work in silence. Noodle purrs beside the little stack of rocks, his tail thumping against the dirt and leaves, until they have a little tower of stone in front of them.

Chase runs his fingers over the side of it.

“Don’t tell Marvin I made it for Anti,” asks JJ.

“Marvin can get over himself if he still has problems with you grieving him,” returns Chase, turning to tug a strand of JJ’s hair fondly. “JJ, I miss him too sometimes.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Of course. The way he could make you feel like you were special, like you were precious - and then of course, he’d tear you down again afterwards, but it only made it feel so much better when you could win his approval again. He was a horrible kind of addiction.”

Chase looks at his brother. “It’s okay if you’re sad instead of angry sometimes. If your feelings towards him are complicated, that’s okay. You were with him your whole life. But Jay, you gotta start letting go of the past.”

“I’ve been thinking about something, though,” says JJ, scooting towards him. “Look, I’m feeling better these days. My medication’s working, I’m not delusional, I’m stable, nobody’s hurting me. Chase, I think I could start time-traveling again.”

“What? Jamie, that’s not - ”

“I think I could make things better,” Jameson insists. “What if I could go back and relive some of it - ”

“Relive?”

“And fix some things because I know how to make it right now!”

“You want to go back to Anti, go through all that shit again, just so you could maybe get us here faster?”

“Chase, I could save Henrik from being tortured! I could stop Anti from ever taking Marvin’s body from him! I could give us a happy ending!”

Chase grabs his arm with a sudden vehemence, something hot rising in his face. He pulls Jameson out of the forest, back to the clearing, and points him towards their home.

Henrik and Marvin are clinging to each other’s hands, laughing as Henrik talks to his friends over the phone. There are flowers and butterflies in the lawn. The house is undisturbed, unbloodied, safe.

“What about this is not a happy ending to you?” asks Chase, pulling Jameson’s gaze to him. “Why do you have to blame yourself for things that Anti did?”

“Because maybe I could make them right,” stutter Jameson’s hands. “That’s my job.”

Chase shakes his head at him, gripping his hand for a moment.

“Your only job is to be our brother,” he says. “And there is nothing in the world that is worth you going back to Anti’s arms again, JJ.”

scunneredzombie asked:

JJ, just because you're a time traveler doesn't make it your job to fix everything. You spent most of your life so hypnotised you didn't even know the snake in your rabbit's den. How could you have known to fix it? Don't blame yourself for the suffering, it's no one's fault but Anti's. Trauma is trauma and you all are going to have it no matter the fixing you do. It is not your job to fix everything. You are not a tool for a means.

“Sometimes I knew he was a snake,” protests JJ weakly. “He was just… my snake.”

Chase snorts, stepping forward to brush tears from his face. “Sometimes you did, and sometimes you didn’t. But there was never all that much you could do about it until you had some help, JJ. And that’s okay.”

“I should have been the first to rebel,” says JJ. “I should have.”

“It’s the past, James.” He cups his brother’s face between his hands. “It’s done. And they’re right. You are not his tool, you don’t have to fix things, and you definitely aren’t here just to right Anti’s mistakes.”

JJ closes his eyes and leans into his hands, exhausted.

“I guess that while he’s dead completely to the rest of us… you’ve been sitting here in the knowledge that you could go back to him whenever you wanted. Huh?”

Jameson’s face contorts with pain. He doesn’t answer.

“Have you ever gone back to see him?”

Blue eyes flash open. JJ shakes his head no.

Chase purses his mouth. “I want to believe that, really, but I happen to know you are a pretty damn good actor when you need to be.”

Jameson lets out a ragged breath. “Just a few times. It was before… before I started getting better. I haven’t in at least a month.”

“What are you trying to get by doing that?” asks Chase, bewildered. “I can’t even imagine wanting to go back to those times.”

JJ wipes at his face. “I just want you all to stop being in pain.”

Chase sighs out, long and slow. He reaches for JJ’s hand and pulls him back into the trees, towards the cairn. They stop together and Chase rotates their hands. In the light, the smooth, puckered skin of the burn on his hand gleams.

“Look at this,” says Chase. “Anti did this to me. I lit a fire to keep us warm and he threw me into it. It hurt really badly. It traumatized me. The scar will never go away.”

He meets JJ’s gaze. “And if you told me you could go back in time and make that moment never happen, I would tell you not to.”

Noodle is purring against their legs, twining between their ankles. He runs forward into the trees, free as can be, golden-hot in the sun.

“JJ, sometimes pain makes you realize things you couldn’t see before, and sometimes pain is just pain, and it sucks, and it hurts you for a long time. But it’s still a part of who I am. It still reminds me that I was strong enough to escape, that I never have to let anyone put me back in that place, that I got out with my life and I should treasure every moment of freedom I have. Sure, there are a couple times where it would have just been better even in the long-run for us not to have been hurt, or chained up, or tortured… but if you start trying to fix all of them, you will tear yourself apart in the process. And I would much rather have you than one less scar on my hand.

"Bad things don’t always happen for a reason, but we find the meaning in them anyway. The past is gone, Jameson. You and me and our family - we are what remains.”

“I love you,” mouths Jameson, not pulling his hand away.

Chase pulls them to their knees and sets their shared hands on top of the smooth surface of that little cairn in the woods.

“Bury Anti here,” says Chase softly. “Leave him in the past with the rest of the pain, little brother. Let Anti rest right here, and let him go.”

Anonymous asked:

The past is the past, and Anti can never hurt you again. Jameson, you are more than half of a whole. You have always been whole all on your own. Anti will always be part of you, but let that part come to rest. Let that part fall off like a skin tag, useless and only there to hurt.

Jameson runs his fingers over the stones, sighing. It takes up so much of his waking hours: the regret over the things he could have done better, or sooner, or differently. It seems like every time his brothers are in pain, it’s his fault.

But that was what Anti wanted him to think. It was just another cage he kept him in.

He’s his own person, and he belongs with his real brothers, not the broken reflection of someone who should have loved him but never did. He knows better. Chase is right - he has to let go of the past.

Besides, why should this not be the right ending? Why should this not be called happiness? Every ending has some pain in it. Some imperfections. There will be hard days, going forward. Painful days and difficult days and days where he is full of regret and has to see the others in pain. But they will come back from each of those days and keep going anyway. They will have coffee and blankets and fresh snow in the winter. Chocolate and church services. Dates with new people, birthday parties, and long walks in the forest whenever they feel like it. A home, and a family, and a hug when your heart hurts.

Is that not a happy ending?

“Noodle, Noodle,” calls Chase, pulling Jameson from his reflection as the bushes rustle. “Come here, baby!”

Noodle darts out of the bushes and comes warmly to Chase’s side, his chest rumbling. Chase laughs and brushes at his back, but then the bushes give another rustle, and there is a soft noise that makes both him and Jameson look up.

Noodle mewls and jumps back towards the bushes, purring. Chase and Jameson exchange glances and get to their feet.

“A squirrel?” asks Jameson.

“He wouldn’t be purring at a squirrel, he’d have tried to bring it back to me in his mouth. Noodle?”

A languid meow from the bushes, and then a second one, and two pairs of eyes peek out at Jameson and Chase from the bushes.

Anonymous asked:

Cats?? Maybe kittens??

“Marvin! Marvin, come here, come now!”

The shouting of his name makes Marvin whip around in alarm, but it only takes him a second to realize it’s accompanied by loud laughter and a couple of the shrieking noises Chase makes whenever Noodle does something really cute. Marvin snorts and looks at Henrik, who rolls his eyes back at him, and they both head towards the trees to see what Noodle’s done now.

Chase and Jameson are on their knees in the dirt, laughing. “What is it now, you dorks?” asks Marvin, moving over to stand above them.

His heart leaps to his throat.

“Holy shit,” he breathes.

Chase looks up at him, beaming and red in the face with excitement. Jameson is smoothing his hands lovingly over the back of a huge white cat with thick, matted fur, no older than six months by his guess. She rests on her back, purring, apparently unalarmed by all the loud humans around her. Noodle beats his tail against her, humming.

“How is this possible?” asks Marvin. “We saw their bodies. The cats - they’re dead.”

“This is a different cat,” Jameson tells him. “I would know if it were the same ones.”

“But it looks like the other cat!”

Jameson smiles up at him. “You had a boy and a girl cat. They wandered a lot. Did as they pleased. It’s not impossible that they might have had a little nest of kittens we hadn’t found out about yet.”

Marvin reaches out, breathless. The cat looks up at him with these clear blue eyes, like a fancy little show cat might have. He touches her tenderly and she lets him. When he wraps his arms around her, she allows him to pull her to his chest.

“Oh, there’s another one!” cries Henrik, and at once Marvin’s brothers are leaping up to look at to try and cajole over the second cat, just as pretty and white as its sibling. But Marvin can’t get over the one in his arms.

She purrs at him, warm against his chest. By all accounts she should be feral, but she isn’t. Maybe he did know these kittens, once. Maybe he just forgot.

“My little girl,” he breathes, stroking her head. “My little friend. You come back to me.”

He looks up at the feeling of eyes set upon him and sees Jameson smiling at him. His eyes are slightly red. Marvin reaches out his free hand to touch his face, concerned.

“You alright?” he asks.

“Yes,” signs Jameson. “Yes, I think so.”

Anonymous asked:

Ohh Marvin! Marvin you have kittens! What do you think you'll name them? Oh, what about some of the names we suggested for you back when you were struggling a bit with self image, like Maeve and Ciara and Uathach?

Marvin laughs, rocking the cat in his arms.

“Okay, guys,” he says, squishing the cat to his chest. “There is a girl cat here and - did you catch the other one?”

“She’s friendly too!” shouts Chase.

“And also a white cat?”

“She has grey booties!”

“Holy shit.”

“I know!”

Marvin turns his attention back to you, laughing. “In celebration of us finding at least two cats in the woods… please feel free to submit your name suggestions. Haha. Shit, do you remember when we first got Noodle? And now this? This is the best day of my life.”

If you’d like, we can name them the same way we named Noodle: send in name suggestions and we can count notes to vote for which you like. I will put these three names as the first suggestions.

Okay I was going to leave a good deal of time but I got so many right away we might have to just go with those lol! Sorry if someone did not get to send suggestions I did not realize they would come so fast ahhh!! but thank you hahah <3

The boys are all crowded around the camera, laughing and holding the cats. Noodle curls around their legs, wondering why he is suddenly not getting everyone’s attention, until JJ takes pity on him and scoops him up too.

Both girls are remarkably calm. The one with the grey stockings has a little grey on her face as well.

“Okay, okay, lemme see,” says Chase. “I’m hearing Roisin and Caragh - ”

“Roisin is sooo cute,” says Marvin.

“Amber and Amethyst - ”

“I think that’s Steven Universe,” says Henrik.

“Or just cute names!” protests JJ.

“Brigid and Cailleach - ”

“Not Call-each, Chaser, it’s pronounced like Callie-ah.”

“Heaven and Angel, and then… these are some separate ones. Should we name them both separately or in a pair?”

“Let’s pick two of these duo names we like,” says Marvin. “So I like Peanut and Jam, that’s funny.”

“And I like Turkey Leg and Chicken Leg,” laughs JJ.

“And then… we’ll say Stockings and something elegant, which we can pick if we need to. And Boots and Dove. And then if you do like one of the names but don’t like the other one, you can say that and we’ll see what we can do.”

I’ll post them in pairs and we can workshop from there if needed :) like if things get close we can narrow it down starting with these pairs. leave a like, comment, reblog, or send an ask to vote for the one you like. thanks guys

I feel bad leaving people out so if you want to send some last minute ones in GO GO GO

Option 1: Roisin and Caragh (pronounced Cara I believe) 

Option 2: Amber and Amethyst

Option 3: Brighid and Cailleach

Option 4: Heaven and Angel

Option 5: Chicken Leg and Turkey Leg

Option 6: Peanut and Jam

Option 7: Stockings and something to be determined, maybe Adoline

Option 8: Boots and another silly name or color-based name, maybe Boots and Dove

Option 9: Stockings and Roisin

Option 10: Maeve and Ciara and Uathach (pronounced oo-a-hah) (we will pick 2/3 if needed) or other names from Irish mythology like Siobhra (pronounced sheefra)

We are down to three choices: Stockings and Roisin, Turkey Leg and Chicken Leg, or Peanuts and Jam. For those of you who voted for different options or anyone else who wants to cast a vote, feel free to choose between those three now!

Anonymous asked:

Good duo names: Lemon/Lime, Chicken Leg/Turkey Leg, Pumpkin Pie/Apple Pie, Juice/Soda, Peanut/Jam

“Peanut and Jam,” laughs Marvin, and it’s enough to send a fit of laughter through all four of them, huddled around their cats in the woods. “That’s very good.”

“Peanut should be the white one,” says JJ. “And Jam the grey and white one. They’re so cute.”

Chase gives a sudden gasp, drawing everyone’s attention to him in a flash. His hand rises to cover his mouth.

“Chase?” asks Henrik. “What is it?”

Chase’s alarm crinkles into mirth at the sides of his eyes. His chest starts to shake in a giggle.

“I’ve just realized something,” he says.

“What?” asks Marvin.

“Well.” He clears his throat. “Noodle has been running around unchecked out here for a couple weeks now…”

“And?”

“And he’s not neutered.”

Everyone looks at Noodle. He rumbles innocently back at them.

“Kittens!” cries Marvin.

“No,” laughs Henrik. “We need to get him neutered right away, why did we never - ?”

“Well, he’s an indoor cat, he never - ”

“No, I want kittens, I want kittens so bad!”

They’re all just laughing like wild, like it’s the funniest thing they’ve ever heard. Kittens and new cats and Marvin so lit up in delight - they’re laughing like everything is good in the world.

“Hey! Anybody home?”

“Jackie!” cries Marvin. “You’re back! Look at this!”

He’s racing back towards the house with a cat in his arms, and Jackie is there in the doorway, flushed with color, in a clean red hoodie, beaming at them in the sunlight. Noodle reaches out to lick Jam’s face and Henrik snatches her away, scolding him, while his brothers are already looking back through the names you sent them to pick what they might, one day, name kittens.

nikkilbook asked:

Hey Jackie—if you haven’t quite finished riding off into the sunset with your Prince Charming, one last suggestion. You said you wanted to watch more movies. When you have a second, I want you to sit down with your man and a bunch of gigantic peanut butter cookies or some shiz and watch every episode of LOKI, just back to back. Heck, you’ve probably got more than one season by now, so watch those too. Then go out and buy all the Loki-centric comics starting from the aftermath of SEIGE in what, 2010? and going until at least the end of AGENT OF ASGARD in 2015. Feel free to get others, too. Most importantly, read the author’s note in the back of the first issue of AOA, and remember, from me to you: everything you have done, everything you have survived, has been for yourself. Because yourself, Jackie, the self you were before and the self that you became in the fires and the self that you built from ashes and love, is a self absolutely worth fighting for.

Oh, and Max? We haven’t had the chance to talk up til this point, but I wanted to tell you this: you have my blessing to marry my son. ;) I wish both of you unending peace.

“Loki, huh?” asks Jackie, grinning at you from the doorway of his home, the wind playing with his hair. “Yeah, I think we’ll have time for that. We have time for everything now, don’t we? Loki, sure - anything for you.”

He looks back at Max inside the house. Their eyes meet and a whole world of something passes between them. Max retreats to the kitchen with a box of presents in his arms, giving Jackie some time to say hello.

He’s right, after all. They have all the time in the world.

Jackie stands in the doorway alone, watching his brothers come towards him.

“It was well worth the fight,” he says. “I was well worth the fight.”

badlypostedeverything asked:

Its been a while since i checked in with you all. We're all proud of you.

“Oh, so this is what happens when I leave for a few days?” asks Jackie, shaking his head as Marvin rushes towards him. “You get cats to fill the absence.”

Marvin throws his free arm around Jackie’s neck, setting his head down on his brother’s shoulder for a long moment. Peanut sniffs curiously at him, looking up at him with those ridiculous blue eyes.

“I missed you,” says Marvin. “Was it a good time?”

Jackie squeezes him in return, breathing in the familiar smell of him. The flower and flame smell never left him, not even when Anti stripped the magic from him. They used to lie close together and try to survive together on nothing more but the warmth the other gave off. He’s still warm to the touch now.

“Yeah,” he says. “Very good.”

Their younger brothers are approaching from the trees. Jackie fills his eyes with the sight of them. Days he’s been away, but here they are, playing in the sun and walking close to each other, like nothing ever separated the three of them.

The camera draws his fond gaze and he straightens up, smiling.

“Thank you,” he says. “I’m proud of us too.”

“Jackie!” Chase runs forward to hug him too, and of course Henrik comes right with him, holding the second cat up to Jackie’s face. Jackie knocks their heads together and scratches under the cat’s chin.

“What have you been talking about for the cameras to be proud of us?” Jackie asks Marvin, touching his hand as Chase and Henrik continue to chatter about the cats.

“Nothing,” replies Marvin. “Just… being happy. And saying goodbye.”

Jackie hums and hugs him again, pressing their heads together. Peanut squirms free of their arms and Jam follows suit, and the girls weave towards each other, knocking their heads and purring like mad, their white tails curling around each other, and close their eyes.

scunneredzombie asked:

Taking care of you guys has been my main goal for a long, long time now. It fills me with so much joy to see you free enough that you don't need our watching eye anymore. Thank you for letting us free you, but most of all thank you for freeing yourselves. I'll miss you all, but I know you have so much happiness ahead! Jackieboyman, Marvin the Magnificent, Chase Brody, Henrik von Schneeplestein, Jameson Jackson... Your lives will be beautiful!

“Oh,” says Chase, peeking over at the camera. “That’s a lot of taking care of us. Now you just have to make sure your main goal is taking care of yourself.”

He smiles at you, tugging at the brim of his hat, flipped around backwards.

“If we see you guys less going forward, we still won’t forget. You did a lot for us. I’m glad I’ve had a friend on the days where I felt like I was all alone.”

One of his brothers calls for him and he turns to look back, to look at his family gathered around him. Marvin and Jackie and JJ and Henrik.

“Yeah,” he says contentedly. “I think you’re right. I think everything is going to be just beautiful.”

Anonymous asked:

Healing will come for each one of you ❣️ Safety is imminent

“Safety is a cat in your arms,” says Marvin, kissing Jam’s head and squeezing her to his chest.

“Marvin,” scolds Henrik. “She’s filthy!”

Marvin laughs, just because it’s good to hear Henrik reprimand him.

“Who cares?” he says. “She’s mine.”

Healing feels very close indeed when your brothers are around you and there are cats to cuddle with. He knows, by now, that even on his own he is whole and complete, but we discover ourselves in the way we love others, and he is finding himself again these days. In his brothers, in his friends…

“In a little white cat,” he whispers. “I can see the self that Anti tried to take from me. He really thought he could kill me on that beach. He really thought he could string my cats up and wipe all of me out of existence forever.”

He kisses Jam again.

“What a fool.”

Here in his home, in his forest, with his family, he is very much alive.

Anonymous asked:

Dapper, Trickshot, Doctor, Red, and Blue. Names you never have to be addressed by again, identities you should never have had to take on in the first place. I'm glad you all were able to rediscover yourselves as Jameson, Chase, Schneep, Jackie, and Marvin. A little worse for wear maybe, but still you all the same.

Henrik chuckles to himself, running his gaze over the heavy scarring down his arms and hands. “A little worse for wear, huh?”

He bows his head for a moment, pushing his glasses up on his nose. He was lost for a long time. It seemed to him that he would never escape the cage Anti trapped him in, even after he was gone.

“I am a little worse for wear,” he says. “Some days my body hurts, and some days I get stuck in this head of mine again. But I would not take it back. This was the price of the fight I fought for myself. My reward…”

Jameson, Chase, Jackie, Marvin. In bloom. Henrik smiles. His teeth are crooked. His eyes are very blue.

“My reward has been most worthwhile. And I expect it shall continue to be, for as long as I continue to breathe.”

nikkilbook asked:

Jackie, Jackie, Jackie Jackie Jackie—you did it. You found yourself, you found the boy in the red hood again. You’re not wearing a mask anymore, you’re you. Everyone knows I’m horribly biased—it’s no secret who my favorite is. I couldn’t always be here, but do you know why I kept coming back, even when I didn’t know exactly what was happening? You were hurting, and you were trying, and you were breaking, and then trying again. It echoed something in me, and watching you work toward your happy ending, watching you GET your happy ending and knowing there would be more happy beginnings, middles, and endings for the rest of your lives even if I’m not there to see it, and most of all getting to help you, message by message, however much it was worth to you—it put another brick in the little house I’m building inside me, the one that reminds me that I’m going to get a happy ending to. Every moment of sunshine I got to help make or watch was a reassurance that I’m going to be okay too.

Here’s to another happy beginning, my Jackieboy. Good luck, and thank you. From your friend.

—

[to bee:] (And thank YOU most of all, my dearest friend. May all your stories have happy endings, too)

“Hey, come on now,” chuckles Jackie, wrapping an arm around Max’s waist as he returns to him. “That’s too sweet, haha.”

“It’s true, though,” says Max, reaching up to wipe a fallen eyelash from Jackie’s cheek, his fingers brushing through his beard. “Getting to help you is a privilege.”

Jackie’s expression softens and reddens. “Max.”

“You are a very strong person,” says Max.

“I wouldn’t have gotten here alone.”

“That doesn’t make you weak.”

Jackie’s eyes crinkle. He looks at Max, and then at you, and in the light through the windows of the home, he is lit up in gold and red, and his future stretches before him like a road already glowing at his feet.

“You are going to get a happy ending,” Jackie tells you, shy and earnest. “Because it turns out, even someone like me deserves one. And even when things are so bad you can’t for the life of you see the way out - well, the future comes anyway, and the past always becomes the past, and you feel yourself breathe again. Without even meaning to, sometimes. A breath in - a breath out. Still alive. Still moving forward. It never becomes perfect. But peace is… attainable. What a revolutionary concept to that person chained to Anti’s side, hungry and hurting. He never would have believed it. It is my deep privilege to know that that person is a part of me - that he survived, and kept breathing… and now he gets to be happy.

"Thank you for keeping him company. For giving him hope. He would not have made it without you.”

Anonymous asked:

I can't express just how much strength and resilience you've all shown getting through all of this. And just how much trust you managed to put in us as well, just strangers who were supposed to observe. There were times when your obstacles seemed impossible to deal with and yet you all made it through to today, happy and together. You've all been through hell and back so I hope you know you all deserve the little piece of heaven you're building with each other here

“Please, strangers?” laughs Henrik. “You are not strangers. You were there with us for… for all year, maybe! You think I do not remember each one of you? Think I cannot tell your styles apart, the kind of questions you ask, think I do not know you all by wording and punctuation and interests? I am a genius, right? You are not strangers. You are company when I would otherwise have been all alone in the world.”

“Honestly,” says Chase, flopping onto the couch beside his twin. “I hope that that’s the fucking lesson, if there is one. You can go through the worst shit and still come out of it not just alive, but… happy.”

He and Henrik exchange looks, their hands brushing on the couch. Whole books in the way they look at each other. Whole stories they will never forget.

“I tried killing myself more than once,” says Chase softly. “Because at the time, it was a certainty to me - an absolute certainty - that things would never get better. There was nothing you could have said to convince me that they would. It wasn’t about hope at that point. Just survival. And I survived until you helped me hope again… and then live again.”

Henrik squeezes his fingers.

Yes, novels and books between their gazes, and you, my friends, are the ones who have born witness to it.

“I’m glad I’m alive,” whispers Chase. “I’m glad I didn’t die.”

“My brother,” says Henrik. “Me too.”

crystalninjaphoenix asked:

I hope you guys enjoy yourselves ^-^

“Yes,” calls Marvin, clapping his hands together. “That’s what we should do, enjoy ourselves. The fridge is full! Let’s have food, all we can eat. And we’ll play games or play football in the yard or watch a show or something. We have found our lost cats, and Jackie is here with our brother-in-law, and everything is good in the world: let’s have a party.”

Anonymous asked:

It's funny, Jameson, you used to refer to your brothers as ghosts. Do the ghosts of Dapper, Red, Blue, Trick, & Dok haunt you now? I hope for your sake that you only see the living now, after all this time.

Jameson breathes out a slow breath.

Warm air through his hair, across his skin. His clothes are clean, just a little grass-stained at the knees. Clear blue eyes, soft hair, long eyelashes.

Do you remember the boy hidden in the basement? Drawing charcoal pictures into the walls, tied by his throat?

Jameson looks down at his hands.

He pulls the silver clock from his pocket, gripping in his hand this present from Jack, this deep power always thrumming through him.

His brothers are talking and laughing in the kitchen. Jackie and Max wrap together like two sides of the sea, all lovey-dovey eyes and lingering glances, while Henrik and Chase and Marvin all work in tandem, joking and cooking and playing with the cats.

Jameson closes his eyes.

Just for a moment, you see:

Red reappears in the hallway, his eyes dark. He steps slowly towards Blue. His twin, realizing his mistake, falls deathly silent, sinking back against the counter, until Red is standing nearly chest-to-chest with him, staring down.

Blue swallows, looking anywhere but at Red.

“Don’t,” whispers Red. “Bother your master.”

Blue chews on his lip, his eyes flashing.

“Am I understood?”

“Yes, Red.”

Red pauses just a second longer before turning to limp back towards his room, that chain heavy around his ankle. Blue swallows again and again, blinking rapidly.

And Jameson is watching all this. In his mind, he can see it whenever he wants. Blue turns away from Red. Red slinks back to his room. He curls in on himself like a dog broken into submission, silent and miserable, and Blue bites back on tears in the kitchen.

Jameson slides towards that past version of his brothers, still so present to him despite everything. He places a hand on Blue’s shoulder.

His brother turns to him quickly, startled.

“Darling,” he gasps, touching JJ’s face. “You better get back to Anti before you get in trouble.”

Jameson pauses, staring at him.

He wraps his arms around Blue’s neck.

After a second, Blue’s arms return to circle around him.

It’s going to be okay, Jameson tries to tell him with his hands at his back. I know it doesn’t feel that way now, but it will.

And for a moment, you see:

Dok stares down at the hand wrapped around his bruised wrist, his heart thudding hard in his chest. Slowly, he turns to his twin. Trick’s eyes are blue flames.

“My love,” says Henrik. “It is time you start making choices about the man you are becoming.”

“Don’t go,” says Trick. “This isn’t about morality. This isn’t about me. He will hurt you again.”

Something inside Henrik’s chest breaks clean open.

“Again?”

Trick turns his eyes away.

“You knew. Or guessed, anyway. You suspected.”

Trick cannot look him in the eyes. Something in Henrik’s chest is oozing hurt. Crimson as the sun when the trees are burning.

“There’s a future where you don’t have to hurt each other anymore,” JJ tries to tell them, looking at that canyon between them. “You can still save each other. Don’t give up.”

They whisper words between each other and pull apart. Misery in Dok’s face. Fatal resignation in Trick’s.

Just ghosts, struggling across the earth.

And for a moment, you see:

He sits back against the headboard, chewing on the nail of his thumb, distressed.

“Then again, there are nice parts to resetting your head… to make the pain fade away into the background…”

He breathes out deep.

“To free the person you were from the sin of the man you’ve become… To be Carver, not… J… to forget what used to make you happy, so you can stop hoping for it, and live misery more peacefully…”

Dapper stares out the window. The northern lights are breathing through the sky, and he quiets, watching them, forgetting what he was talking about.

“And then Anti loves you better,” he adds softly, his hand on his brother’s head. “So… what else matters?”

Jameson stares at the old person of himself.

He stares at his own ghost.

Steps towards him in the silver river of his power.

Breathes.

Dapper looks up at him, blinking. The rope lies around him, binding him, chaining his throat. He shakes his head at Jameson, confused, in the basement of a house in Norway.

“What are you doing here?” he asks. “You’re dead. We’re dead.”

“Do I look dead to you?” asks Jameson.

Dapper just stares at him. His eyes are hollow.

“There’s no life for us now. We are… a gravestone.”

Jameson kneels down in front of him. Reaches out to touch his chalk-stained cheek.

“One day,” he says. “You will breathe again. There are still things worth having. Still freedom. Still a world beyond Anti.”

Dapper’s eyes burn and water. He shakes his head at Jameson.

“No. No… it’s not true.”

“It is,” Jameson insists. “I am true. There is life still. No more isolation. No more despair.”

“No more despair,” Dapper signs back, a whisper of a movement, disbelieving as an unfamiliar prayer. “No more despair.”

“Dapper?”

Jameson turns.

In the doorway of the room, Anti looks back at him, surprised.

“What’s going on? You’re using your power. Stop that. Come here.”

And if JJ wanted to, he could.

He could fall into his arms one more time. He could kiss his face. He could let you speak to him. He could fall back to that boy with the rope around his neck in an instant.

But he doesn’t. He won’t.

“You’re dead,” he signs, and he lets his power go.

The sunlight burns lovingly down on him again. The roar of his brother’s voices and laughter returns in his ear. He is standing in the doorway, and no one seems to have noticed this short moment of recollection, this sudden return to things that are lost.

He looks around at his brothers.

His Chase. His Henrik. His Marvin. His Jackie.

It is time to leave the ghosts in the past.

“Jamie!” calls Jackie. “I missed you! Come here and give me a hug!”

“Jameson, hey, come taste this for me, see if you like it…”

“We need to pick out a movie! What should we watch, James?”

“Oh, look, haha, Peanuts wants some attention from you. Are you coming over here?”

Light and sound and warmth and brotherhood.

He looks back to the forest, just for a moment.

Anti is at rest beneath those stones in the woods. He will never haunt them again.

“Yes,” says Jameson, stepping towards his brothers, alive and aglow in the late summer sun. “Yes, I’m coming. I’m here.”

No more haunting. No more isolation. No more despair.

“I’m here.”

End Chapter Five: Resurrection

.

Dear Madeleine, Em, Ghost, Tristan, Noah, Crystal, Dino, Arthyr, Cookie, Jamie, Ari, Luigi, Carpe, Mae, Tiri, Leo, Rose, Nikki, JJ, Pat, and all my silent, secret readers…

I hope you know that I have no irritation for anyone who only read part-way through this story. Not only is it wildly, ridiculously long, spanning years and hundreds of thousands of words, but I struggled through many parts of this last section, and I think there was more than one time where my mental health, my situation, and my fear of ending this story that I love so much all impacted the quality of the writing.

That being said, I can tell you now: you all hold a special place in my little writer heart for seeing this through to the end with me.

I could not have finished it without you. Your quiet support, your input, your passion, your encouragement, your art, your writing. You are my co-authors. Some of you have been here since the very fucking beginning, which blows me away. It’s unbelievable. I don’t know how to tell you how glad I am that we have shared this.

For anyone who has read this story at all over the years, even if you did not, for any reason, make it to the end, your help is no less appreciated and I still remember so many of you (Rei, Pixie, Cael, June, Catherine, Darki, Villains, Holly, BP, Amy, Autumn, and too many more for me to even start listing without being scared of leaving you out). You might be surprised how many of you I still associate with specific asks, comments, and art pieces. Thank you.

Our characters fought for themselves and for each other. For their kids and their loved ones. For freedom and joy and the hope that they had to hold on to with blood-stained and tired hands. But there were so many times when your words and your presence and your genuine care and belief in them was the only thing they were clinging to that I can very safely tell you, my friends: they were also fighting for you. To prove to someone who believed in them all along that yes, yes, YES - I will be happy and well again one day.

I am thinking in particular of Tristan’s art piece where Marvin cries “are you happy to see me like this?” as he begins to be forced into the character of Blue. It was the very first chapter, some 800,000 words and a couple of years ago. He was in a lot of pain then. He lost himself. And now, he has found him again.

I hope now, that as you look at our dear characters, you can safely say that yes, you are, in fact, happy to see them like this.

Perhaps this last little thank you note to you is too serious, as there were a lot of times we were just having fun and some of those times are still my very favorites. But I do hope that, going forward, there might be a couple lessons you can take from these characters we shared: to know that you are worthy of love, not abuse, no matter what you have done, to fight for your own happiness even when it feels impossible, and to recognize that there is always hope for a better future.

You are very deserving of that love, that happiness, and that future.

Thank you for everything - for every time you lifted me up, for every time you showed compassion and encouragement to the very idea of someone in need of your help, for every second that you spent speaking to, depicting, or just reading about our characters. Thank you for writing this story with me.

-

If you have enjoyed MBC at all now or in the past, please consider contributing back by donating to your local charities, particularly those that benefit people like our characters: survivors of domestic violence, those with mental illnesses and/or disabilities, those living in poverty, and more. I thought about compiling a small list, but I’m guessing that many of you have ideas for places that you trust or are familiar with, like local food pantries or homeless shelters, or maybe next time you see someone like Jack doing a fundraiser for a charity or even just someone on the internet trying to find some help while in a tough spot, you could consider donating with the story in mind. Just thought I’d take a minute to try to direct all the love that you have helped put into this story towards a real world goal <3

I hope that reading about the characters in such tough situations will remind us to be compassionate and aware towards those in difficult situations, even if it is just a stranger having a hard day.

#thank you for rereading! please let me know if you enjoyed!!

[linyi-is-dreaming]

The Drop Of A Tear - 26

BTS V x Y/N (Reader)

Summary:  Tae meets a woman who is very manipulative. Before he even notices anything, she got him around his finger. He decides to leave his wife Y/N and his four kids to start a new life with the new woman. This perfect house of cards that he had just started to build, starts to unfold as she starts to show her true face. Piece by piece it makes him feel sick. Tae notices his wrong doing as his house of cards start to fall apart.  Regret and hate towards himself makes him wish to turn things around. Will he be able to safe his house of cards and to get back what he once threw away? Is Y/N able to forgive?

CHAPTER 26

"That's what you said?" Namjoon asks after Jungkook finishes explaining. "I sincerely hope you guys aren't starting over from square one again." He scratched his forehead as he digested what he had recently learned. 

"I believe he understood what I was saying." Jungkook sighs as he reclines on Namjoon's couch. "I debated with myself whether I should do it. "Do you think it was the right thing to do?" Concerned eyes meet Namjoon's as he leans forward, rubbing his palms. Jungkook appears to be preparing to say something further, just as Namjoon is about to respond. "I mean, if Jimin is correct and Tae overheard my conversation with him, doesn't that imply that Tae will try to use her sensitivity to get back to her?"  

"Jungkook, I want you to pay close attention to what I'm about to say," Namjoon says as he moves his chair closer. "I'm sorry we put you in this situation, but we made sure Y/N is moving out, so you don't get too attached to her." As he realizes what Namjoon has just stated, Jungkook's eyes widen. "I think we were too late, because you're in too deep, aren't you?", he wonders. "I'm asking as a friend, not as a leader, band member, or business partner." You've never told me before that you care about her... We basically left you alone with this..." 

“What would have changed if you would have known? Do you want her to get back to this scumbag?”, the way his eyes started to change did not stay unnoticed. “Namjoon, is it so wrong that I still hope to have a chance?” 

“Yes! Because if you wouldn’t have only told Tae about it, we all would have known and that you even kissed her at that state... Jungkook, I don’t know what to tell you. I just wished we did know.” 

“Is that why you called me to come over?” 

“I needed to know if all of it is true or if my wife misunderstood.”, Namjoon sighs. “I truly don’t know what to do right now...” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Jungkook, do you think I am blind?”  

“I never said that...” 

“Listen, I think it is time that you slowly step out and let Jimin, his and my wife take over. We discussed on how to handle the situation between us.” 

“What do you want me to do now!?”, Jungkook wonders as he leans forward. “Do you want me to tell the kids not to contact me anymore? They will be so confused if I am out of the picture!” 

“That is not what I am saying at all.” 

“What do you mean then?” 

“I mean Y/N. I know you care about the kids. Trust me, I do know that, but I know now how strongly you feel about her even more now.” 

“Didn’t you all see that the girls I dated had similarities to her? Do you want to pretend that was just a coincidence?” 

“I didn’t pay attention to be honest. But why do you think, we should have known? Jungkook, I cannot imagine what your emotions might have been if you feel like that to see your friend having what you wanted with her, nor do I know what it might feel like to be in your shoes right now. I can only imagine it.” 

“Exactly!”, Jungkook yells as he jumps up. “Do you know how it ripped me apart hearing that they are getting married? Do you know how it hurt me knowing they are starting a family when all I wanted was her!?” His grief was as visible in his tears as it was in the words he spoke. “You cannot imagine it, Namjoon. Y/N, means so much to me.” 

“Now is not the right time to show her the feelings though!”, Namjoon scolds as he gets up as well. “I can see that your feelings are sincere, but Y/N needs her friends, not a new lover. Do you understand that?” 

“Of course, I do but-” 

“Stop!”, Namjoon says as he puts his hand on Jungkook’s shoulder. “Stop it, Jungkook.” Namjoon tried to give him a moment to stop his tears from dripping down his cheeks. He despises seeing his friend in this state, but he knows that if he doesn't get through to him now, he will hurt himself if he holds on to his desire of being with her. “Listen, no matter how hard it will be, you will have to go back of hiding your feelings.” 

“What? No!” 

“If you truly love her, give her time and space.” 

“Am I not doing it already by letting her move out? I planned to move with her and the kids into the bigger apartment.” 

“I am proud of you to let her go and to let her live on her own. That is what she needs.” Namjoon notices Jungkook's expression as he attempts to organize his thoughts. “Once it is all over and done, I won’t go between you two if she wants to date you but until then, leave her alone with your feelings.” 

“So, you want Tae to be back with her?” 

“Honestly, no but yes.” 

“Yes or no, Namjoon?”, Jungkook asks as he pushes Namjoon arm away. “Do you really want her back with Tae?” 

“Jungkook, you don’t understand the concept of marriage.” 

“Suddenly I don’t understand the concept of marriage? Have I ever cheated to any of my girlfriends?” 

“Marriage is a different thing than just a relationship. It is also a bond that two people have around their marriage. Once kids are involved, all the parents should care about are the kids first, then themselves. Yes, Tae did it wrong but think about why he acted that night the way he did.” 

“He decided it! We only told him to make the right decision.” 

“You two idiots knew that he was drunk!” 

“Idiots!?” 

“Yes, you two idiots!”, Namjoon yells even louder. “Sorry, I shouldn’t be raising my voice. The way you and Jimin are trying to clean this stupidity off your shoulders, makes me crazy.” 

“At least we did something! You and the others, you knew it longer than us and still looked into her face and said not a single word. How were you able to still have been calling yourself a friend whilst you did not say a thing?” 

“Me, Yoongi and Jin talked way more often with him about it then you know. Only different, we talked with him on occasions when he was sober. Yes, that takes longer but he started to agree to end the relationship with this side chick, but he also said he doesn’t know how.” 

“He did not know how? Are you kidding me?” 

“She lied to him back then about her pregnancy. You know Tae, he usually is always a father first before he is a friend or partner. He was on the edge of freaking out because he was stuck.” 

“Are you excusing him!?” 

“No, definitely not.”, Namjoon says in a serious tone. “But that was around the time he kept drinking and drinking.” 

“You three could have dragged him out but you three kept looking on?” 

“Would you have preferred that we would have told Y/N? What do you think she would have done?” 

“At least she would have known!” 

“You don’t understand a thing, do you?” 

“I can’t understand how you can be on Tae’s side!”, Jungkook screams as he rushes to the door. 

“Wait! Jungkook!”, Namjoon yells but Jungkook ignores him as he storms off. 

💧💧💧

As the knocks on the front door echoed through the house, it was already late at night. The woman stares anxiously at her husband. 

“It’s okay!”, Jimin says as he touches his wife’s cheek. “Go and check on the boys and comfort them if they have woken up.” A few more violent knocks start to echo even loudly. 

“Shouldn’t we call the police first?” 

“I don’t think it is something bad.”, Jimin says as he sits up. “I will check.” 

“Stay! What if it is a psycho?” With a smile, Jimin assures his wife that everything is fine. 

“Please check on the boys, I will be back faster than you think.” Whilst she nods, she puts on her slippers. “Love you!”, Jimin says as he walks downstairs. Even though he was able to conceal the increasing anxiousness in his chest in front of his wife, he must take a few deep breaths as he gazes out the living room window. When he discovers who is at the door, he rips the door open aggressively. “Are you fucking serious? I have kids who might get scared. You did not forget that?” 

“Let’s talk in the living room.”, Jungkook says as he places his sneakers next to the other shoes at the front door. 

“I am not even going to ask why the shoes were already in your hands...”, Jimin states as he closes the door. “Do actually have any idea how late it is?” 

“I did not even check when I started to drive...” 

“Well, I can tell you how late it is!”, Jimin’s wife says angrily. “The boys are awake, now I am awake. Good job, Jungkook! Do you also want to wake up the fucking neighborhood?” 

“Honey, watch your language.” 

“I heard you using ‘fucking’ too. Don’t even pretend to watch your words.” Jimin nods as he sits down with Jungkook. “I need coffee...” 

“Coffee? Go back to bed, baby.” 

“Do you truly think I am able to sleep now?” 

“Please, just try to sleep. You have to go work in a few hours.” 

“Sounds like a non-argument able argument.”, his wife replies whilst she looks angrily at Jungkook. “Now to you Mr. I-am-single-and-do-what-the-fuck-I want, if you are ever and I mean ever, come to our home like this again, I will make sure to turn you into prosciutto, personally!” The hand in front of Jimin's face was supposed to disguise his smile, but he couldn't stop laughing. 

“You all have crazy wives.”, Jungkook says as he shakes their head. 

“That might be the reason they come along so well...”, Jimin comments with a smile. 

“What are you so suddenly amused about?” 

“I never saw her this angry. Wow, she truly has multiple levels of anger... Anyway, why do we have the honor to be disturbed at night?” 

“Did Namjoon talk to you about her, Tae and me?” 

“What are you talking about? I need more context.” 

“Namjoon said that I should hold myself back from Y/N, but I already went two steps ahead. How am I supposed to handle that?” 

“You seriously need to calm down.” 

“Calm down? Jimin, just tell me how!” 

“Sssh! Keep your voice down. Were you drinking?” 

“Only a bottle of Soju.” 

“Listen, you can sleep in the guest room. We’ll talk when you are sober.”, Jimin tells him as he gets up. 

“I need to get it off my chest, Jimin.”, he begs him as he grabs his friend by his upper arm. “Jimin, please.” 

“Ten minutes, then off to bed.”, he tells him. “Not a second longer.” 

“Did you know that they knew what Tae did before we confronted him?” 

“Yeah, I did. Didn’t you?” 

“When did you figure that out?” 

“Before I told you that we need to talk with Tae.” 

“But you said that you are not sure...” 

“I was not sure, but then I was.” 

“You lied to me?” 

“No, I never lied. But I only knew something was going on but whatever went on, I figured out after we investigated.” 

“Do you regret how we talked with him?” 

“Definitely.”, Jimin confesses with a sigh. “We should have formed our words differently.” 

“Do you think it is the best, if I stay away from her family?” 

“Well, as I was able to read from your message, you want to be good with Tae again in sake of Y/N and the kids... If you truly want to be by her side one day, you better do what I told you. Hide your feelings.” 

“But I already told her what I feel...” 

“Not that hard, just tell her that you have considered that you do not want to rush and wait until everything has settled.” 

“What if it does her no good?” 

“My wife already talked with her. If anything goes down, she has me, my wife and Namjoon, as well as his wife to reach out to.” 

“What did she say?” 

“That she felt like using us more than friends should. The typical things...”, Jimin yawns as he gets up. “You know the guest room. Good night, Jungkook!” 

“That were no ten minutes...” 

“But felt like an hour to me.” Jungkook observes Jimin as he walks upstairs. He takes a moment to look around before locking the front door.  

"He still forgets to lock the door..." He begins to walk upstairs after turning off the lights and using only the flashlight from his phone. 

💧💧💧

“Can I stay at home, mom?”, the small girl asks as she repeatedly inserts the fork into her pancake. “The kids are so mean. I don’t want to go.” 

“You will be on your own today then. Legally, I am not allowed to leave you alone.” 

“I already texted with auntie. She said I should come over if you are okay with it.” 

“You want to stay at Namjoon’s house?” 

“Would that be okay?” 

“Show me your phone, what did she answer?” 

“Here.”, the girl comments as she walks around the table to give the phone to her mother. “Why are you calling her?” 

“Just want to make sure that it is her number, Lovely.” The phone only rang twice before being answered. “Hey, I am sorry for calling you so early but Lovely meant that she wants to stay at your house today, is that truly alright? Oh, you got a new dog? No, I did not know about that. Thanks a lot, I will drop her off. Bye!” 

“See, I said the truth.” 

“Yes, you did.”, Y/N confirms as she gives the phone back to her daughter. “If anyone asks on your next school day, you had the flu. Got it?” 

“Thanks, mom!”, the girl says as she tightly embraces her mother. 

“I want you to be on your best behavior as usual, okay?” 

“Of course, mom.” 

“Are we also getting off?”, her son wonders as he chews his breakfast. 

“Are you two getting bullied as well or are you trying to fight other kids?” 

“We plan on just going to school.”, the oldest one says. “They are the ones to start the fights.” 

“You know how the school is keeping an eye on you two. Please, do not make me go home early from work today. I need this job and I won’t be able to keep it if I have to leave early again.” 

“I’m sorry, mom.”, the oldest one says.  

“Kids, you need to eat up and get washed. We have to drive away earlier if we are dropping off Lovely at your aunt’s house.” 

#the drop of a tear #bts v #bts tae #bts au #bts fanfic #bts fanfic au #bts taehyung #bts scenario #bts v x reader #bts x y/n #bts rm #bts namjoon #bts yoongi #bts suga #bts jimin #bts jhope #bts hoseok #bts jin #bts seokjin #bts fanfiction #bts au fanfic #bts drama #bts fluff

[iamreykylotrash]

a choice must be made.

PART II OF "A PROMISE FROM DEATH HERSELF"

psa: this prompt does include semi-graphic details of death and cremation. if that draws the line for anyone, please, skip this.

Nesta Archeron watched as the bells of Velaris tolled after the death of the truth-speaker.

It had been days since she laid her husband to rest, watching as the flames raged against his peaceful corpse. He looked as if he was asleep in the midst of the fire, calm as the flames turned him into dust. Nesta silently cried as she watched, pleading for the inferno to revive him.

But as the flames died, her husband was nothing more than ashes.

She was the one who gathered them into a leather pouch, walking with her daughter to the single autumn tree out in the meadow. She remembered how he held her beneath it as they sat to watch the sunset. Even when she was pregnant, his hand rubbed her stomach, the silent love pouring out from him.

It was there where she scattered his ashes.

Nesta had whispered 'I love you' as she watched him become one with the wind, holding their daughter tightly in her arms.

But now, it was time to watch another be laid to rest.

The citizens of Velaris gathered at the heart of the city, watching as Morrigan's body was laid upon the smooth stone, her body surrounded with red roses. Many of them grieved, but some others didn't even show emotion. It was as if there were those who knew this could happen.

The Inner Circle was not as powerful as it seemed.

She saw the funeral from afar and watched as Rhysand collapsed in front of his cousin's corpse, crying in his hands. Feyre laid a hand on his shoulder, trying to soothe his grief.

Even as the death of her husband was still fresh in her mind, Nesta wasn't able to stay still. She had made a promise, not only to herself but to Eris's family. He was going to receive justice.

The night sky was gleaming with stars, looking down upon the court as the ceremony began. A priestess held her hands high, begging the Mother to send the truth-speaker into blissful peace.

As Nesta took in the crowd, she spotted Gwyneth, seeing her frantically look around, as if she was looking for someone. Emerie was right beside her, as were the other priestesses.

But the one person who wasn't there... Azriel.

Immediately, Nesta looked behind her. She was met with the point of truth-teller centimeters away from her neck. Azriel's eyes blazed with anger, tears streaming from them as his body trembled.

Nesta knew she could have used her powers to push him away from her, to disintegrate him for eternity... but she didn't.

The Spymaster of the Night Court had been the only one to help her as she had suffered. At her lowest times, Azriel had silently offered her a cup of tea, patted her on the back, and got her back on her feet. Even as she fought with Cassian, Azriel never defended his brother's actions. Instead, he had stepped aside, and let her leave.

Even if he didn't care about her, Nesta did care about him.

He had given her a choice.

And she would do the same.

"Walk away, Azriel," Nesta told him.

He sneered, "I should kill you after what you've done. I should smear your blood all over this concrete." He tells her.

"You should. But I know you won't. Not if you want Gwyn to die of heartbreak. If you leave her alone, the mating bond will rupture and she will suffer. She will cry and cry and cry... until death takes her." Nesta says to him.

Azriel tenses, his eyes moving to the side. Nesta knows he is looking at Gwyneth, watching as his eyes soften, seeing the great love he has for her. His mate.

"I want you to walk away, Azriel. Take Gwyn far from here. Start a life away from Prythian, away from these people." Nesta tells him.

The Spymaster's eyes return to her, "Do you really think I am going to abandon my brothers and my court? You know where my loyalty lies, Nesta. You know what my answer is." He says.

"After what I will do, there will be nothing left of your court. You cannot kill me, Azriel. Death chooses my time. But I will feed souls to it. If you don't want me to feed it yours, you will do as I say. Take yourself away from this. Take Gwyn away from this. You said it yourself that you would do everything it takes to protect her. Protect her from me." She says to him.

Azriel slowly lowers his blade, his brows narrowing, "Why are you giving me a choice? I am the reason for Eris's death. He would still be alive if I hadn't let go of my guard. I was foolish to trust Cassian. You should kill me instead of him." He says.

Nesta shakes her head, "You are the only one worthy enough for a choice. You would have saved him. Cassian chose not to. He left Eris there to die. Even when Feyre begged to keep Cassian in the Night Court, I knew you didn't agree with it. You believe in consequences, Azriel. That is why I am giving you this choice." She tells him.

She took a step closer to him, "Gwyn always said she wanted to live near the ocean. She wants to hear the rumbling waves, walk on the sand, and swim in the water every chance she gets. You can give her that. She deserves to live and to thrive, especially with the male she loves." Nesta says.

Azriel says nothing.

Nesta puts one hand on his chest, upon the gleaming blue siphon.

"Give her that life, Az. Live that life with her." Nesta whispers to him, before she turns away from him, letting him make his choice.

After a few minutes of silence, Azriel finally speaks, "Just promise me that whatever you do... it will be quick. Don't let them suffer." He says, before winnowing away.

Nesta didn't promise it. She couldn't, not when the male who had left her husband for dead was alive, breathing the same air as she was. He would be the one who would suffer the most, knowing that everyone he loved will die by her hand.

She watched as Azriel spoke with Gwyn, seeing her face become concerned. She could see her friend become confused, but eventually, she understood, looking around the rooftops, her blue eyes locking on Nesta.

Gwyn nodded once at her before Azriel led her away from the crowd, taking Emerie's hand as well.

Nesta waited until they were far enough before she winnowed in front of the truth-speaker's corpse, hearing the hundreds of gasps in the crowd, and seeing many of them start to shift away.

She looked down upon Morrigan, taking one of the roses in her hand, igniting it in flames, "What a shame." She said.

Feyre stepped forward, "Nesta, please. Enough of this. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that we couldn't save him. But please, killing us will not bring him back." Her sister pleads.

"I don't need your apologies, Feyre. It's too late for that. You made your choice. You chose to defend the murderer of my husband and my daughter's father. You have sided with the Night Court every time. You have forgotten your family. And you have crossed the line." Nesta tells her.

Feyre doesn't say anything else.

"Now," Nesta turns to Amren, "onto the next." She says.

The Second Commander steps forward, her face blank and unafraid. She seemed ready to confront death, feeling nothing of fear. Nesta smirked, "I take it you are ready, Amren?" She says.

Amren took a deep breath, "Kill me already. Let's be done with this. Do with me what you did to Morrigan. Kill me as you did her." She snaps.

Nesta chuckles, "Oh, I won't kill you," she looks to Cassian, "but he will." She tells her.

Suddenly, death rules over the General's soul, his eyes becoming blank as he unsheathes his sword. The crowd screams as Amren is forced onto her knees by Nesta's power. Cassian's sword is against her neck, the point drawing blood down her throat.

"Nesta! Stop this, please! Don't do this! Don't do this!" Rhysand screams, but it is of no use.

Deep inside of her, Nesta could feel her mate's suffering, wanting to be let out of the trance. She delighted in the feeling, knowing he was terrified of her power. She met him there, laughing victoriously.

Nesta walked to Cassian's possessed body, putting a hand on his shoulder, "I told you that you would watch as they all died." She whispered.

Then, she looked at Amren, "It was nice knowing you, Second Commander. Greet Death for me, if you would?" Nesta asked.

"Please, don't-" Amren began, before her head fell to the ground, along with the rest of her body.

"NO!" Feyre screamed, lunging forward, but Rhysand held her back.

Cassian was no longer possessed. He had dropped his sword onto the stone, falling onto his knees as he stared at Amren's body. He looked down at his own hand, knowing that it was the one that killed her.

Nesta looks to her sister one last time, "The next time I arrive, will be the last. I will complete my promise. Each one of you will pay. And this court will be no more." She says to her.

Feyre's chin trembles, "I'm sorry, Nesta. Please, don't do this." She pleads once again.

But Nesta winnows away, feeling nothing of regret.

***

Tags: @loggingout1029 , @generalpeachyboots , @descalliestars , @pancakemaxxsmooch

#neris #nesta archeron #eris vanserra #nessian #anti nessian

[frecklystars]

you have no idea how happy i am to see you back. I've been checking your blog every few weeks for the past few months to see if you've been back and I'm so glad you are. And Im so happy you were able to get your own place. I'm so sorry you went through such a terrible nine months. i hope you heal and feel better soon and feel starscreams love for you again. I'm so tf has been such a big trigger. i remember when the confirmed Steve for Earthspark i was so happy thinking" Keri's going to love this."

i hope you reclaim it soon so you can enjoy your pretty boy again

Every few weeks!! that is some dedication, my friend. Thank you for caring about me so much. It warms my heart that you consider me someone worth checking up on.

And yeah I'm so glad we're in a better living situation!! It's not rly "my" own place since I'm still living w/ my dad (I make... such little money. there is no way I could afford rent in this economy lmao) but yeah it's nice to live in a place that doesn't have any mold or termites. I had to throw away a lot of my sketchbooks when we moved bc the place we were temporarily living in from August to February had zero air ventilation, windows bolted shut, no A/C, there was mold growing in my books and making the pages stick together, there was mold on the walls and under our beds, there was mold all over my clothes, I had to throw away some of my favorite shirts :( we had to cover the floors with dozens of blankets and towels too because our dog stepping on the floor was making her extremely sick (she's okay now though!!) The new place we're in is such a small little condo, but my mental health definitely improved a little bit when I could walk into a clean place and not smell any mold or raw sewage coming out of the sinks :')

Thank you, I hope I can reclaim the characters too. I really miss Starscream. I always miss Starscream, always yearn for him, but now it's different... now it feels hollow and sad when I miss him, because I don't think he misses me back. I don't have that "connection" feeling anymore when I self ship, it's like.... very numb, very empty. I genuinely used to get teary-eyed when listening to my playlist I made for him bc I felt so loved and so comforted. I felt like nothing could ever destroy that feeling. It felt like a truly unconditional devotion on both sides for three years, every day, just pure joy and love with him, and many other characters as well. Losing that so violently due to trauma and betrayal from someone I trusted during a very vulnerable time in my life, um, definitely did some damage. Nobody has ever messed me up like this. I can't believe how much of myself was stolen from me in such a short amount of time. I've never lost my F/Os and a years-long hyperfixation all at once. Depression, anxiety, grief, ptsd, all of it has been rly heavy on me lately just in general, and I always had self shipping to help me get thru my worst times but I haven't had that outlet in so long, now it makes things feel a thousand times heavier. It's so lonely.

I remember when Starscream was announced to be voiced by Steve Blum back in November, and I dropped to my knees onto the floor and just sobbed. Afterward my chest was aching so bad I couldn't even stand, I just laid there on the ground for maybe ten minutes or so. I was dreading seeing him bc I was starting to get scared of him by that point. The ptsd symptoms were starting up and I didn't even know it yet. I could feel him slipping away from me and it was scaring me. I fully believe with my whole heart that I'm unworthy of love and kindness, whether it's from characters or from IRL friendships. That's such an intense flip, going from "I am so loved when I see these characters" to suddenly "when I see these characters, I'm panicking as if I'm about to die". It got to a point where I promised myself I would never make new friends ever again. For 4 months straight when things were at its worst with my ex-friend, I was on such high alert, I assumed everyone in my life was going to turn around and stab me in the back and I needed to be ready for it. I assumed that with F/Os as well, no matter who they are or how good and pure they might be, I kept thinking that me self shipping is just a way of fooling myself into believing I could possibly be worthy of a healthy relationship. I kept thinking "why is this happening to me, what do I need to do to deserve kindness from this person, what do I need to change about myself, what am I doing wrong, why is my best friend hurting me so much, why do I have the right to feel upset about this when clearly she says it's my fault for thinking this is a big deal." I'm at a point where I'm definitely not shutting myself off from making friends again, but damn, that was such a lonely feeling too. Being convinced that everyone is out to get me, that was horrifying.

I'm not... myself. anymore. but. maybe one day I will be. especially when there's so many supportive messages coming my way right now, I feel a bit less alone than before. I definitely came back and wrote that pinned post with the mindset that nobody was going to believe me, that nobody would give me any support, that all of my friends/mutuals were going to try to hurt me the same way that my ex-friend did. But I got the exact opposite treatment. Everyone's kindness is such a huge stepping stone to my recovery and it's like all of you are helping to pull me out of this deep dark pit I've been stuck in for 3/4 of a year. I think it's helped me realize that I'm not really alone in this, there's some people who have my back. Nobody else betrayed me, nobody tried to convince me my F/Os would abuse me. So maybe one day I can believe again that my F/Os would give me that same kindness too.

#also i like the way u phrased it. my 'pretty boy' hehe #he is my pretty boy 🥰 the prettiest most handsome beloved darling #starling darling. ahhh. one day!!! gonna rewatch ES one day and feel GOOD FEELINGS #one day im going to look at my starlight and feel that unconditional love and devotion again #anonymous #asks #keepsake

[kthxbaisecretart]

Alone in the Dark

Content Warning: This story contains themes of loss, grief, and trauma.

Summary: After a tragedy strikes, the reader finds solace in the BAU team. But the past has a way of catching up, and it threatens to unravel everything the reader has worked so hard to keep together.

You sit alone in your apartment, staring blankly at the wall. Your mind is a jumbled mess, filled with memories of the past. It's been six months since the accident, but the pain still feels fresh.

You lost everything that day. Your fiance, your home, your sense of security. You were left with nothing but a gaping hole in your heart, one that seemed impossible to fill.

You've tried everything to move on - therapy, medication, even moving to a new city. But nothing seems to work. The pain is always there, lurking just beneath the surface.

One day, in a moment of desperation, you reach out to the BAU team. You've always been a fan of their work, and you figure they might be able to help you in some way.

To your surprise, they welcome you with open arms. They listen to your story, offer you support and guidance, and help you feel less alone in the world. For the first time in months, you start to feel like maybe there's a light at the end of the tunnel.

But the past has a way of catching up with you. One day, you receive a letter in the mail. It's from the person responsible for the accident - a former colleague of yours who had been drinking on the job.

The letter is filled with apologies and regrets, but it does little to ease the pain in your heart. Instead, it dredges up old memories and emotions that you thought you had buried long ago.

You try to keep it together, to stay strong for the BAU team who has become like a family to you. But the weight of the past is too much to bear, and you find yourself spiraling out of control.

It's only when you hit rock bottom that you realize something important - you're not alone. The BAU team is there for you, just as they always have been. With their support, you find the strength to face the past and move forward into the future, one step at a time.

------

Please let me know if you guys like any of this stuff it's been sitting in my notes for a while now.

#x gn reader #x female reader #x male reader #grief #criminal minds x gn reader

[heysarsii]

Light & Love

Went on a Sunday movie date with the pamangkins when we were just supposed to drop by at the new Uniqlo roadside store near our area and do a coffee run afterwards. Since there were a lot of people when we went, we decided to just watch Black Panther: Wakanda Forever. We drove off to SM but there were also too many people so I asked Cha to check any other movie houses near us but we ended up watching at Commerce Center in Alabang instead.

If you know me well, you would probably be weirded out because I'm watching a superhero movie. Yes, I am not into watching all of the Marvel and DC movies. If at all, I only watch Spider-man. I may have watched Thor or Iron Man but I'm not fully invested with those movies. But I did like Black Panther when I watched it with a friend before. I had no idea what to expect with this movie since I never really researched about it before going but I found myself tearing up and relating to what Shuri was feeling as she was processing her losses.

It was a good movie specially if you are still processing your feelings after losing someone dear to you. I resonated at how Shuri was keeping herself busy with work cause she hasn't really come to terms with the loss yet. How it still feels the same even after a year of passing. Even if you try to move forward with your life, the hurt will still be there and you would feel as if you'll be leaving or forgetting that person if you try to move on. That was exactly how I felt after my mom's passing. I find it hard to let go of all the emotions and grief because that would mean accepting that my mom is really gone.

Sometimes, grief consumes us and we change into this unrecognizable person that forgot how to be genuinely happy or who's easily irritated or sensitive at the smallest of things. We deprive ourselves of being happy and oftentimes choose to be alone instead because the person that was once dear to us and that we looked up to and trusted the most is already gone. And it's when we do not fully process these feelings and refuse to heal that we wreak havoc not only into our own lives but to the lives of the other people around us as well.

It is when we fully let ourselves feel the pain and grow through our journey that we will be able to let go. Healing comes from within us but it is in the support and love that we get from our family and friends that would help us get through it easier. We get lost every now and then because we try to hold on to the idea that we have in our heads even though we know in our hearts that it is never gonna be the same again. It is in accepting that we have to make the step forward in life and see through the eyes of others to remember who we really are and be able to overcome the pain we've been holding on to.

Losing someone you love is inevitable. It is painful and truly unbearable, but just like any emotion, it should be processed and not ignored. An important part of processing grief is making peace with the lack of closure, and the loose ends that will never be tied. Forgive yourself for the decisions and mistakes you've made and find peace and closure from your own pain. You need to face it and accept that it has happened. Understand your grief and understand why you need to let it go. With that in mind, it is understandable that there is no timeline for processing grief. Heal in your own time. Whenever you're ready.x

We need light, we need love

#life lately #bright skies ahead #black panther #movie #cinemas down south #southies #pamangkins #Spotify #wakanda forever