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#but since the new year hit i have had zero will to be here in any shape or form :(
yunwooz · 4 months
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i may come back around briefly to gif the japanese cb but aside from that i am going on an indefinite hiatus and won't be online any longer 💙 i'm having a tough time outside of tumblr and kpop and i am wanting to focus my energy and mental fortitude towards other things to help me relax and deal with those things, and over the past year especially i have found myself becoming too intense about giffing and too intense about being present and online all the time to the point where it's draining and more stressful to gif than it is relaxing and fun :( tysm to all my mutuals and those who have supported me from the beginning and those who have watched me grow as a creator and as a person!! if i do return, i hope i can return in a much happier and healthier place all around, but if i do not i simply wish to say thank you for allowing me the space and place on this little corner of the internet to grow and explore my interests and hobbies all this time 💙
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sexydoffyman · 2 months
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Weird request but how would TF141+König and Alejandro react to meeting an orphan around 15 years of age who's like extremely talented in engineering, mathematics and physics, like they could build a rocket if they had the materials ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ It can be HC, whatever you want! I was thinking maybe said orphan got in trouble with the government for unknowingly building some sort of weapon, maybe it was stolen? Twist that however you wish.
Just ignore this ask if you wanna <3
A KID?
genre: action
characters: König, Simon Riley, John MacTavish, Alejandro Vargas, Kyle Garrick
A/n: expect a lot more mistakes. Also thinking this needs a second part.
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It’s been 6 years now since the war began. You were left stranded. All by yourself. Left on your own by everyone. Living was hard, but you pulled through. You learned how to do a lot of shit since you were there only with yourself for some time. Building stuff. That was your biggest interest.
You were constantly making things. New weapons mostly. You were always moving, never staying in one place for too long. You got brutal throughout the years you were alone. You took the uniform of a dead soldier. To blend in. You were mistaken for a recruit and pulled inside a helicopter by a military dude.
The military was a great provider of food and healthcare. So you just went along with everything they threw at you. Your knowledge of building shit helped out a lot. And even when some dude figured out you were a kid he let you stay.
The same dude put you in a task force with a man he trusted. You were cautious of everyone in there, but at least you had some people who you could trust a bit.
You picked up how things work from the years of pretending to be a soldier. Pretending to be an adult was getting easier and the task force you were assigned to found a place in your heart.
“There’s gotta be a way.” You finally snapped out of thinking about life before the war. You thought that the military would be a great cover. But now all your hope of making it out alive hit zero. You were stuck and with gas slowly filling the room that you and the others were in you knew your chances of survival were low.
You sat in the corner of the room. You had given up a few minutes ago already. The others were still trying to figure something out.
Suddently you felt something inside of you snap. You were not gonna die today. It must’ve been the panicking of the rough men infront of you that made you have that feeling. You started to search for a solution.
You found a small vent. It was too small to fit a grown man in, but you were not a grown man. You took off your gear and crawled into the vent unnoticed by your team.
You finally got to use the skills you gained. You crawled through the vent and dropped down from the ceiling right on the other side of a door that the rest of your team was trying to open. You managed to get inside some kind of an electrical system. You cut some wires and reconnected some other ones. The door opened with a space in between the doors just a centimeter big.
Grabbing a metal piece from the electrical you prayed the door open. You were met with the looks of your crew. You looked down and put your hand above your forehead to block your face. By now all of them realized that you weren't of age.
You ran into the room to grab your gear while your team gave each other a disgusted glance. “We need to get out of here ASAP,” you said as you walked away from the room. Price grabbed you by the shoulder to stop you. You turned to him with your mask on now.
“How old are you?” he was looking at you worriedly while he said that. You didn’t know what to answer and so after a few stutters you answered “Classified” This only made them feel more curious.
It has been days since that mission and nobody brought up the fact that you were a kid. You did notice that Price stopped shouting orders at you and started just saying them in a normal calm tone. Soap was making more small talk with you than usual. Ghost was staying closer to you, knowing you might not be able to fend off an enemy. Gaz was making sure to double-check your gear.
When you teamed up with Mexican special forces and met Alejandro you were given tasks that you’d be on with multiple people.
When you were stranded from the team, finding your way to a spot they could locate you at, you met another dude. Austrian and huge. Big dude. He was your enemy, but it didn’t take him long to find out that an adult dude would have a little more strength than you did. He forced your mask off and found out that you were in fact a kid.
Instead of killing you, he spared you. Helping you locate your tram instead of them having to look for you.
Would you survive the next missions? That you don’t know. But you do know that you don’t have to worry about pretending to be an adult.
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dilfl0v3rss · 11 months
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all yours
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when it came to your safety, onyankopon played zero games. if he felt even the slightest bit of worry he had no problem getting you from wherever you may be. there have been times where you’ve been walked out of parties, stores, and even something as little as a smoke sesh with your girls. if ony felt you were unsafe you were going home no questions asked, and you honestly didn’t have an issue with it. feeling a sense of pride in having a man that cares so deeply for you. that was until tonight…
the two of you were at your friend ivy’s place for her big housewarming party when you were getting weird stares from a couple hating ass bitches. ivy didn’t want her party to be small so she told each person she invited to tell some friends to come as well. which led to this weird ass bitch brielle hearing about the party and deciding to curse everyone with her presence. brielle was an old fling of ony’s that he been cut off like a year ago, but she’s so thick in the head that she still runs her mouth about him to this very day. you, being the classy woman you are, have been ignoring the bitch because it honestly was sad of her to be acting like this, but today she reached her limit.
when you and ony first arrived everything was great. “heyy bitchhhh. so glad y’all could make ittt.” ivy screamed as she welcomed you and ony into her new home. ony greeted her with a small “wassup, thank you for havin’ us” before letting you have the floor, walking towards jean and connie to talk. “hey boooo. this place is niceeee you gotta let me spend the night sooon” the two of you talked for awhile before she let you go to get a drink from the kitchen. as you filled your red solo cup halfway with casamigos you noticed some girls approaching where your boyfriend and his friends were. before being able to move, you were stopped by sasha, mikasa and.
sasha was the first to talk. “you peep that shit right?” she said, nodding her head towards the girls. you knew if one of your friends was going to say something about what was going on it would be sasha. mikasa was on the quieter side, but best believe when it came to you she didn’t play either. “yea i see em. that bird ass bitch and her lil flock of pigeons tryna play games” the three of you watched as brielle and her little sidekicks were all up in you boyfriend’s faces. brielle being the main one, lightly hitting ony’s chest while she laughed. her red bussdown was flowing behind her as she pushed it over her shoulder, purposely trying to bounce her tiddies as she “fixed” her hair.
being the levelheaded woman you are, you decided against approaching them. knowing that you’d probably knock the bitches head off her shoulders if you went anywhere near her right now. so you pulled out your phone and sent ony a quick and simple text. ony looked at his phone almost immediately, knowing it was you who texted him since he had it on dnd for everyone else.
my wife💐
‘tell that bitch move around or ima drag her outta here omm😐’
as soon as he read the text, ony lifted his head and began searching for you. soon he locked eyes with yours, excusing himself from whatever conversation was going on and making his way to the kitchen. “what’s wrong now?” is this nigga dumb? did he not just see and feel that bitch being weird touching on him? “nun bruh just tell that hoe to keep her distance. that hair look new and i’d hate to have that shit on the floor” as the two of you conversed you couldn’t help but peep ivy and her friends start to mug you and your girls. eventually making their way towards you. before you can even point it out your thoughts were cut off by sasha. “yea i’m finna flip dis hoe. got me all the way fucked up.”
ony watched your friends start to remove their earrings and adjust their clothes, and being the nonconfrontational man that he was he decided it was time for you to go. “go tell ivy we leavin’ and wait f’me in the car ma. i’ll get you a slice of ca-” “nah i’m good right here.” you cut him off, eager to see what this bitch was on. as they approached y’all you see that sasha and mikasa were quick to be at your side, standing face to face with each of brielle’s friends. “you got a problem wit me shawty?” brielle smirked, looking you up and down and taking pride in pissing you off. but your mouth was smart and even though it got you in trouble with your man, there was nothing you couldn’t handle when it came to other people.
“nah but you seem to have a problem that i got the nigga you want” you spit back with a smile. you could see that your comment got under her skin. she was rolling her eyes as she replied. “nah ion got a problem when i know i can have em right back anytime. like last saturday for instance.” this bitch is a liar and you knew it. laughing at loud as both her and your friends looked at you confused. last saturday ony was home the entire day, and you can only remember it so vividly because he had you face down in the mattress for cursing him out over being late to brunch. you also remembered it so vividly because he recorded most of it on your phone. “tuhh bitch please pick a different lie because you know damn well he was with me. now are we gon sit here and chit chat or you tryna take this outside cause ian really with allat talkin’. ”
before the bird could reply, ony stepped in the middle of yall and tried to play the mediator. “y/n. get in the car, now. and brielle, what we had been over for a long ass time now. give that shit up and move on.” you backed down, feeling that no bitch was worth getting into it with your man. you were lowkey tired of being the bigger person, but knew i’d be better this way than just fighting and possibly ruining your friends party. as you made your way around ony, you gave brielle the illest mug ever to let her know that even though you’re leaving, you still ain’t no bitch. it wasn’t even five seconds since you left the kitchen where you can hear the bitch starting up again. “i don’t know why you still dealin’ wit that bitch. don’t you miss me ponpon?” brielle said in a baby like voice.
“nah chill wit that bitch word bro. and you really needa stop running your fuckin’ mouth bout her too cause i may not be here next time to stop her” you smiled while ony shut that bitch down. you knew he was more on the calm side so hearing him raise his voice a little turned you on. “oh please nigga you know damn well her shit nowhere as good as mine. used to have your soul leaving your body and allat. you can act like you don’t miss me but ik that dick think otherwise.” that was it for you. it was in the blink of an eye when you were dragging that bitch outside by her hair. honestly you needed whatever glue she got bc her shit wasn’t moving an inch. as you pulled her down the steps of ivy’s porch, you felt ony trying to grab at your wrists.
“mama let her hair go right now.” he yelled. you whip your head to the side, face to face with your man as he stared at you with a warning in his eyes. your fingers instantly straightened before brielle dropped to the ground. the stare this man was giving you made your heart start pumping rapidly. through his eyes you could tell that he was saying “don’t test me”, and you had no intention of finding out what would happen if you did. it was almost instantly when ony grabbed the top of your arm, quickly walking you to his car. most of the people were already outside, migrating there as they watched you drag brielle from the kitchen to the porch. ony opened your door and you sat down, ready to leave this whole day behind already. before you could close the door you heard brielle yapping again.
“fuck you bitch you can have the nigga. ain’t nun but a piece of dick anywayssss.” you hopped out the car and sprinted towards brielle with a quickness. as she seen you approaching she tried to square up but her hands were trash. punches were flying from everywhere, connecting right to her face every time. you honestly didn’t really care too much about what she said about you, but when it came to your boyfriend there was a line to be crossed. and she stomped right over it. “keep. my. man. name. out. your. fuckin’. mouth. bitch.” she was now laid on the floor with her arms shielding her bleeding face while you continued to throw blows her way. sasha seen her friends inching up about to jump in and shut it down immediately. “if you move anotha inch ima start swinging too. we don’t do nun of that jumping shit so i wish you would try so i can fuck you up right here.”
her friends looked at each other before back up completely, not wanting any problemsm. before long you felt strong arms wrap around you, lifting you off the ground and away from brielle. you were thrown into the backseat of ony’s car before he turned the child lock on, not being able to trust you to not open the door and attack again. he made his way to the front seat and threw a handful of tissue towards you from the glove compartment. the two of you were driving home in complete silence as you wiped your hands clean. usually your man would be lecturing you right now, but there was a calmness to him that frightened you. “umm…are you mad at me?”
he ignored you, asking his own question instead. “why do you get so jealous?” he mumbled, glancing at you in the rear view mirror. you rolled your eyes, acting as if what he was saying was the most ridiculous thing in the world when in actuality, he was right. you knew that ony and brielle been done way before you even came in the picture, but the thought of him even being with her made you feel a way. ony knew you very well and he could tell how you were feeling regardless of what you did or said.
“mama how many times i gotta tell you i’m only yours huh? why can’t you just trust me?” his grip on the steering wheel tightened as he kept replaying the nights events over and over again in his head. “how you expect me to trust you when you okay wit letting bitches be in your face? bitches you used to fuck!” you yelled, holding back tears as you moved your gaze out the window. ony opened his mouth to speak, but decided against going back and forth with you any longer. “we’ll fix this at my crib. not finna argue wit you in the car”
when the two of you made it to his apartment, ony wasted no time, leading you to his room before sitting you down on his lap. “so why you don’t trust me?” he asked, his handing running all over your back as he awaited your reply. you looked at the ground tears threatening to spill from your eyes as you tried your hardest to keep your voice from wavering. “i do” ony sucked his teeth at your words, lightly grabbing your chin and facing you towards him so you could see the knowing look he was giving you. “don’t lie mama, you said it in the car. why don’t you trust me?” the tears you’ve been fighting finally broke free as you quickly covered your eyes and sobbed into his lap. “i-it’s not you pa. i-i was just a little jealous b’cause you were letting her….her-” your cries took most of your breath from you, making you have to stop in the middle of your sentence so you can take a breath. “sh sh sh i get it baby. how you want me t’fix it huh?”you shrugged your shoulders at his question, not having an idea on how he could make this horrible night any better. “a-any way you can”
a soft smile made its way to ony’s face as he lightly pushed you down on your back. he removed your bottoms before slowly getting on his knees. “this way okay?” he asked, chuckling at how you eagerly nodded your head as an answer. it wasn’t long before ony had you a blabbering mess, his fingers digging into you slowly as he took in each of you pretty face expressions. “say it again baby” your back was arched off the bed as you repeated the words ony planned to have to chanting all night. “y-you’re all mine shitt” your moans made his dick grow stiff in his pants as ony looked at the sight of your glistening wet pussy. he quickly pulled his fingers out, laying his tongue flat on your clit before eating you out sloppily.
the feeling of his skilled tongue made you scream as you pushed and pulled on his head. “again” he mumbled into your pussy, too addicted to fully take his mouth away as he looked up at your pretty face. “all mine daddy a-all mine” ony sucked softly on your clit, letting his tongue run all over it in his mouth to quickly grab an orgasm out of you. his tactic worked, making him smile as he felt your juices begin to rush out of you and wet his chin. “good girl mama”
ony stood up in front of you, taking in the sight of your post orgasmic glow as he rubbed himself through his sweatpants. the sight of his bulge made you whine in want as you slowly leaned up to free him from his pants. ony quickly grabbed your hand, giving you a soft expression before lightly pushing flat onto the bed. “s’not about me right now mama. let me do this for you ‘kay?” you nodded your head at his words, making ony give you a like tap on your thigh to make you jump. “lemme hear your voice” at the sound of the small “yes” you gave him, ony slowly freed his dick from the confines of his sweats before lining it up with your tight entrance. “say it again”
“you’re all m-….ohmygoddd” the feeling of his thick dick sinking into your walls made a pretty cry fall from your lips. your back arching off the bed as your hand quickly flew to his wrists. ony didn’t let up, his pace slow, but his thrusts deep as he dug into you with love. “yea m’all yours mama. who dick is it?” your eyes were already at the back of your skull. small whimpers falling from your lips as you tried your hardest not to let your mind drift off into the clouds. “s’m….s’mine daddy” your words were slurred as you felt his dick begin to kiss your cervix in a way that made you want to scream. “ooouuu fuckkk”
ony’s pace began to quicken. the force of his quicker thrusts making your body begin to jerk a little on the sheets. he slowly pulled up your shirt, freeing your perky breasts before leaning down to latch his mouth onto one of your nipples. the feeling of his wet tongue on the sensitive bud making you grow wetter as you caressed the back of his head. you knew there would be marks in the morning, but you didn’t care. letting your man prove to you how much he loves and cares about you through making sweet love to your body. ony released your nipple with a small pop before moving up to your neck.
the dark purple marks were already beginning to form in both of the areas as he slowly moved his lips to your ear. “say it again f’me mama. don’t want you t’forget” as ony waited for your reply, he leaned up from your body, staring down at you lovingly before pulling out of you completely. you matched his gaze, your brown eyes big and watery as you told him the words he longed to hear. “you’re mine” with that ony flipped you onto your stomach, quickly thrusting back into you before fucking you at a fast pace. his dick kissed all the right places in you as you cried out into the air. “oh…oh my goddd daddy right there!” ony smirked as you continued to moan for him. he just started and you were already ready to make a mess all over the sheets. the sloppy sounds of his dick stroking your pussy ringing through the air as proof.
“s’too soon, need you t’hold it f’me ma. can you do that?” you quickly nodded your head, earning you a hard snap of his hips that made you yelp in pleasurable pain. “what i tell you before? talk t’me baby” he was pounding you into the sheets now, your back arched to perfection as ony kept a hand on your back and another at the top of your ass. “i….i can hold it daddy” a smile spread into ony’s brown features as he listened to your whiny voice. your pussy fluttering as you felt his thumb rub over your tight hole. “you want me to?” he asked, chuckling at how quickly you whined out a “yes daddy….please”. ony moved his hand before letting his spit drip from his mouth to your ass.
lightly rubbing his spit outside the brown hole before he lightly fed it the tip of his thumb. you moaned at the sensation, throwing yourself back on him to get more if his dick along with poking your ass out more. “greedy thing” he groaned before fully sheathing his tumb inside of you. the sight made his dick twitch as ony began to fuck you harder and faster. occasionally stroking your puckering hole with his thumb to keep you on edge.
“you trust me now baby?” he breathed, the sight and sound of your pretty moans and even prettier body making it hard for him not to want to shoot his load deep inside of you. “y-yes daddy….with my life”
“you gon cut out the jealousy shit?” ony began to pound into you, using his free hand to push your arch down deeper as he quickly fucked the both of you closer to your orgasms. “mmm..mhm n-no more” the feeling of his long dick repeatedly hitting your g spot made your legs shake under you as you began to soak the sheets under you with drool. “say it one more time for me beautiful and we gon cum together” tears fell from your eyes at the rush of emotions flowing through your body right now. the feeling of love and trust being the most powerful as you felt the coil in your stomach begin to snap.
“you’re all mine”
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Sukuna’s Wife and Yuuji’s Onee-chan (Sukuna x Reincarnated!Y/N) scenario
Request/Inquiry from @aikothingdream:
“It would be funny to see Yuuji also not like his teacher hitting on Onee-chan”
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Life as a cursed spirit’s “bride” was hilariously boring. 
Gojo described your cursed energy as below average, you had zero martial arts training or talent, and Sukuna threatened Gojo and Yuuji not to put you in danger. 
Yuuji was often busy training, studying, or hanging out with his new classmates. You were happy that he had people to look after him in your place, but without a job or a class to attend, you were a parasite.
To alleviate your guilt, you did everyone’s laundry (minus their unmentionables, even Yuuji who furiously insisted he was old enough to wash his own underwear–kids, they grow up so fast *sigh*), mopped the hallways, wiped the windows, and other chores. 
You just finished rearranging the clothes in your cabinet for the second time today. 
You sprawled yourself on the floor like a starfish. 
Free food, no rent. Everything was paid for here. This should’ve been the ideal life, but you were so booooored.
Spurned by the desire to fill the void, you went to the kitchen. No one was around. Of course. 
You searched the cupboard, but only found a half-eaten package of cookies. The fridge had a can of whipped cream on the verge of emptiness and some strawberries.. 
Shutting the fridge close with your hip, you chomped on a cookie and a medium-sized strawberry then sprayed a swirl of cream in your mouth.
“Guess who’s back with treats! I–ah.” Gojo Satoru stopped at the kitchen doorway, a plastic bag full of sweets hanging from his hand. 
A silence fell over as you saw each other. 
He stood there, quietly as you stared, frozen with a mouth stuffed with sugar. 
You: (⊙o⊙)
Gojo: ( ._. )
Gojo: …
Gojo: …pft.
You: …!
You forced yourself to chew faster, but expectedly, the thing that was supposed to be in charge of you and your brother burst into maniacal laughter.
“PWAHAHAHAHA!” 
“Mm…mf!” 
“Oh, man. I gotta take a picture.” He pulled out his phone. 
You wanted to say something, but there was too much stuff in your mouth! 
Gojo continued laughing between clicks and flashes until you started choking like a pelican who swallowed too big a fish. 
In an instant, he was behind you, arms wound tightly around your abdomen. “Please don’t die. It would be too pathetic!”
“Aurgh..!!!??” Translation: You think I wanna go like this, you a&%****!?
With one, strong squeeze, Gojo forced the food out of you. 
“That was close! Good thing I was here or who knows what would’ve happened.”
“...”
“Hm?”
“...”
“Not going to say anything? What’s wrong, nee-san?”
Feeling a vein near popping, you coughed out, “I believe I asked you not to call me that.”
“You’re so cold. Megumi and Kugisaki call you that. Even the second years!”
You had a couple of things to say, but considering that he technically saved your life, you opted to keep them to yourself. “Thank you for the help, now please let go. I’m going to clean this up.”
But as you said this, your knees buckled and his arms shifted to stop you from falling.
“Aw, don’t be like that.”
Whoosh
A giant knife flew towards Gojo, stopped only by his infinity. 
You both turned to find Yuuji standing by the door, panic and shock on his face as he gripped hard on his right arm responsible for throwing the blade. 
“I-I didn’t know how that happened, I swear!”
Sukuna spoke from his cheek. “You damn blue-eyed bastard. How dare you touch my wife so shamelessly?”
“Excuse me?! I just saved her from cho–” 
“Yuuji!” Embarrassed, you pushed yourself out of Gojo’s embrace and walked towards your brother. “Welcome home. Do you have any requests for dinner?”
“I’ve been craving curry rice since this morning.”
“I think we just ran out. I’llgocheckthestorageroom!” Flustered, you rushed out of the kitchen, forgetting your own mess. 
Yuuji quietly went to mop the food you choked out.
Gojo sighed. “Yuuji, what should I do, I don’t think your sister likes me.”
“Gojo-sensei.”
When Gojo met his student’s gaze, it held a surprising sharpness. “???”
“Thank you for taking care of us,” Yuuji’s normally cheery tone was flat as he spoke, “but please don’t bother my sister too much.” 
“???????”
Later that evening, in Fushiguro’s room…
Gojo: Megumi, why is everybody so mean to me?
Gojo: (˃̣̣̥ᴖ˂̣̣̥)
Megumi: Please leave. 
A/N: I tried to have more fun with this one so I was more liberal with my style. Anyway, I got a few more requests, the products are coming soon!
@shadowywizardarcade @hannya-exists @nineooooo @lilachaeyo @pumpkindudeishere @jessbeinme15 @fluffy-koalala @cringeycookies @frogzxch @isimpfordanielpark @marvelsgirl4ever @sanzusmom @sheccidoscar @marvelsgirl4ever @alastorhazbin @satosuguswife @lumaniii @leahlovesreading @blackstaw @nineooooo @boba--12
Other snippets of this au are found here.
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thestoryofusstan · 5 months
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Look Into His Angel Eyes
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pairing: harry styles x zoologist!youtuber!reader
summary: harry takes his niece to the san diego zoo, and you just so happen to take care of the animal she’s obsessed with. koalas.
warnings: zero knowledge of zoology LMAO, not edited, a few curse words
harry had expected a lot more fuss when he went to a very famous, very popular zoo. he expected at least someone — one person! — to notice him or recognize him.
nobody had even given him a second glass.
those kids movies were right. change your har (put on a beanie) and wear sunglasses (because even if it was a little chilly, it was bright), and you were a whole different person!
well, until gemma’s little girl, rosie, who was usually a gem and the best kid ever, started crying. over what, you may ask?
she demanded they find the koalas.
granted, she was only five, but.. he was still worried people would see him and recognize him.
when he had graciously offered to drive rosie to san diego to go to the zoo because gemma simply didn’t have the time, he forgot it was a public, normal people zoo.
so, he asked someone where the koalas were (and then four more people after that on the way there, all of which informed him that he better hurry if he wanted to catch the koala talk, which was supposedly a big hit for some reason), and made his way to the other side of the zoo.
who the hell made this place so big?
you’d been living in san diego for five years, since you were eighteen. you’d been working with the koalas at the san diego zoo for that same amount of time.
18 and fresh out of high school, you moved far, far away from your horrible hometown and even more horrible people, and went to san diego to both go to college for zoology and work your dream job.
well, technically, it was an internship at first, but still!
like most little girls, you were obsessed with animals. however, instead of dogs or some other basic animal (though, koalas are still pretty basic, you suppose), you were obsessed with koalas. and then, it never went away.
your mother tried anything to talk you out of it, into a safer career path, she’d say. more secure.
well, fuck secure because you were about to go talk to little kids who were just like you when you were younger and feed a baby koala.
you had also started a successful side career as a youtuber. you made regular videos like vlogs and hauls and whatnot, and also educational videos about koalas. some of your vlogs were at work, such as today.
“so.. we have jess here to record as i do a koala talk. and.. it is officially 1:30, so let’s go!” you exclaim, handing your coworker, jess, the camera.
you pushed open the door (more like gate) and walked out. there was a fairly large crowd today, including the cutest little girl with a pink dress on right in the front row.
you set the crate (don’t yell, it’s a big crate. and it’s simply to take them from their exhibit to the talk area, which is a distance of maybe 50 feet) down on the wooden table.
the talk area was pretty much their enclosure, but instead of a glass wall, it was open and the kids could see better.
you opened the crate and slowly coaxed the bears out. you’d only brought two today. mila, and her baby charlotte (you always called her charlie, though).
once they were out and climbing on the branches, you turned to the crowd.
“hi, guys! my name is y/n, and i’m basically in charge of the koalas here! who here has been to one of my talks before?”
a few hands raise.
“good! well, today, we have a new guest… who remembers what was happening with mila last talk? was anyone there?”
one little boy raised his hand.
“yes, the.. little boy in a blue shirt?”
“jackson!” he told you.
“jackson, sorry. what was going on with mila? for everyone who doesn’t know, mila is that big one right there.”
“she was— she had a baby in her tummy.”
“she did!” you respond enthusiastically. “and a few months ago.. four months ago, actually, she had her baby! who wants to meet her?”
all the little kids screamed me! me! me!
you laughed, “alright, let me grab her.”
you walked over to mila, petting her head as you slowly took charlie away.
“hey, mila.. can i take her real quick?” you ask as if she can hear you, before speaking to the crowd. “mila and i have a special bond, if you ask me. she had her baby right around the time i had mine. so we are both new mothers,” you laugh. “but, anyway! i’ve been with mila since she got here, so she really trusts me. which is why i can easily just..”
you grabbed charlie off of mila, and put her on her shoulder like you did your baby.
“so, everyone, this is charlotte, but i call her charlie! now, i have a very special job for one of you.. but i need someone who will be very careful, because charlie is still a delicate baby.. can anyone hold her for me while i feed her?”
and finally, the adorable little girl interacted. she started jumping and raised her hand.
you walked over to the fence separating you from the crowd, crouching to be eye level with her. “and who might you be?”
“rosie!” she responded. and oh, she had a baby voice and she was british.
“rosie! well, do you think you can hold her for me?”
“yes! yes, please!”
“alright, we’ll get you and dad back here—“
“ehm.. uncle..” her uncle, not father, responded in a british accent.
“oh, sorry! you and your uncle back here. and what’s your name, rosie’s uncle?”
he hesitated, before— “harry.”
your brain slowly put two and two together as you glanced at his tattoos.
harry styles.
“oh, i see,” you respond, “well, let’s get you guys back here!”
you opened the gate they were thankfully standing right in front of, and they walked into the talking area before you shut the gate.
you led rosie to the center, crouching down to her again.
“alright, we’re gonna do this in a funny way. can you stick out your arm for me?”
she did.
“i’m gonna put charlie on your arm, alright? she’s gonna wrap herself around it, and her claws might scratch you, but it’s fine, yeah?”
“yes, ma’am!”
“aw, you’re so polite. alright.. charlie incoming!”
you slowly adjusted charlie to curl around rosie’s arm.
“it tickles!” she squeals with a laugh.
“yeah?” both you and harry — harry styles — respond at the same time.
“alright, i’m gonna grab her bottle! stay here!”
you ran over to grab it, and while you were shaking it so it was ready, you felt something wrap around your leg.
“hi, mila!” you exclaim to the koala wrapped around you.
you carefully walk back over.
“i’m gonna feed her for a minute, and then i’ll let you and your uncle try, yeah?”
“okay!”
you started feeding charlie as you spoke again.
“so, the reason we feed charlie instead of having her feed from her momma, who is clinging to my leg, is because charlie was born a little early and needs a little more nutrients!”
you talked a little more about koalas and their behavior before rosie wanted to feed her. and after a few minutes of that, you glanced to harry.
“you wanna give it a go?”
“sure, why not,” he shrugs.
“charlie seems pretty cozy.. so, i’ll give you mila. she’s a little heavy, though.”
you bent over and took mila off your leg, handing her over to harry.
“hold her like a baby on your hip.. it’s kinda like a.. odd hug! a koala hug, if you will. i’ll grab her bottle.”
you ran over, and when harry began feeding her after you returned, he asked a question.
“so.. why do y’feed mila? i know charlie’s a baby and all, but..”
“that’s a very good question! so, mila is getting a little old, and she was also brought to us injured. that, paired with giving birth four months ago, we just have to give her some more electrolytes… her bottle is actually just white gatorade. we tried green, but she hates it. she’s very picky.”
“well, that’s cause y’gave her green.”
“hey! who has the degree here? yeah, shush.”
“yes, ma’am,” he laughed.
once the talk was over, you told rosie and harry to stay back.
you let charlie and mila climb about the branches while you spoke to them.
“i just want to make sure you both are alright with being in a video.. also, you need to wash your hands.. jess should be back with the sanitizer soon.”
“can i ask what video?”
“oh! right, sorry. i’m a youtuber, and i sometimes film my talks to publish and whatnot. i’ll blur your faces, of course. i blur everyone in the crowd’s faces for privacy reasons, but i figured you’d be.. more.. concerned about that than most.”
“you know?”
“i mean.. voice is a giveaway.. i also follow gemma’s instagram, so i recognized rosie,” you shrug. “but anyways, you’re good with the video?”
“yeah, of course.”
you then turned to rosie to answer her bajillion questions about koalas until jess came back with the hand sanitizer.
“so, just use a lot of this, and you’ll be good,” you explain, putting a few pumps into each of their hands.
once they were all clean of koala germs, you told them they were free to go.
rosie ran forward, but harry lingered.
“thank you,”
“oh, yeah. of course. i figured you wouldn’t want koala germs—“
“no, i mean thanks for giving rosie that opportunity.”
“oh! of course. i love seeing little kids who love them as much as me.”
“she’s bloody obsessed with the things.”
“mm, yeah. they’re easy to love. word of advice, don’t shoot her love for them down. it doesn’t exactly work. i mean.. look at me,” you laugh.
“i will keep that in mind,” he smilez. “what was your name again?”
“y/n.. y/n l/n.”
a/n: enjoy
316 notes · View notes
jeonqkooks · 8 months
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our beloved summer | jjk (7.5) (m.)
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You made a vow to hate Jeon Jungkook ever since he packed up and left you without a single explanation, but when he shows up at your door after years of radio silence, it turns out that maybe your resolve isn’t as strong as you thought.
pairing: producer!jungkook x songwriter!reader rating: 18+ (minors dni) genres/warnings: exes au, fluff, Angst, smut; THE REASON™️, crying because obviously there's gonna be crying, mentions of hobi leaving :(, cursing, uhm she hits him; kissing (well, of course 😂), br*ast play, t*tty s*cking, oral s*x (f. receiving), f*ngering, unprotected s*x, r*ding, cr*ampie, uhm idk i think that's it word count: 6.9k (poetic, i know) note (1): holy fucking shit i am literally shaking like a chihuahua as i'm writing this a/n. what the hell it's finally here. we've been waiting for this for almost a year and a half. TREMENDOUS thanks to Jo @daechwitatamic, Ari @wintaerbaer, and Jazz @jeonwiixard for beta-ing this for me and for reassuring me that it's not a load of crap (probably) and especially Jo for telling me if i back out she'll come kick me. frick! gaaaah. okay i'm gonna let you read or i'll go out of my mind
series masterpost / playlist ; moodboards ; taglist
as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡
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I want you to smile, to feel like enough 'Cause you deserve yellow and lions and love I hope you come back when you're doing well Forgive me for being the worst of myself
New Recording 28 - Chelsea Cutler
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The second the door is closed, his mouth is on yours again. 
His hand on your waist, yours in his hair, it’s similar to how it was mere minutes ago, just the urgency has increased tenfold. You want his suit off as much as you want your dress on the floor.
Jungkook detaches from your lips to let you breathe as he cages you between his body and the door, but it’s not like you can focus very well on breathing when he starts kissing down your neck, sucking bruises into your skin. His hands travel south, one palm curving around your hips to grope your ass, the other settling on the back of your thigh to lift it up, opening your legs wider so he could better slot in between them. With your leg lifted, it makes the slit in your dress ride up, exposing your core to the cool air of the room. You can feel his growing bulge pressed against you, right over your panties. 
You whimper his name when he sucks on the sweet spot on your neck, his hips grinding against you slowly.
“Yeah?” You can hear the smirk in that one simple word and the honey that drips from his voice. “What is it?”
“Want you…”
“I’m right here,” Jungkook says. His slender fingers rub you over the pink lace that you’re wearing underneath your dress, teasing your opening through the fabric for a few beats before he pushes your panties aside. “Fuck, you’re so wet.”
His breath is hot on your neck. He presses his lips against your skin absentmindedly, the tip of his index circling you but not pushing inside just yet.
“Tell me you want me too,” you pant, your arm hooking around his neck to hold him close.
“I want you.”
Truth.
You pull him in for another bruising kiss before you blindly push him further into the room, your hands roaming the broad expanse of his clothed chest. He stops when the back of his knees hit the bed.
“Hey.” Jungkook breaks away from the kiss to look at you. “Are you sure?”
If Jimin knew what you’re doing right now, he’d say that you have zero self preservation instincts.
He’d be right, though. If you had any self preservation instincts, you wouldn’t be doing this.
Your stupid, battered heart has only ever wanted him.
“I’m sure,” comes your immediate reply. It’s desperate, but you don’t have it in yourself to even care. “I’m sure. I want this. Please.”
“You were drinking.”
“I’m not drunk. I promise.”
Maybe it’d be better if you were drunk. Then you could at least blame this lapse of judgment on a pathetic state of inebriation and not on your stupid self who’s always weak for him.
He stares at you for a minute, searching for any sign of your willingness being driven by alcohol. He seems relieved when he finds none, and it isn’t until then that he shrugs off his jacket, before helping you take off his dress shirt and trousers.
You haven’t seen him like this in so long.
Every defined line on his body, accentuating every detail that you could spend hours running your fingers over.
He looks different but at the same time, not really. A tad more muscular, but still the same lean frame. Hard chest and abs on full display for you. God, your fingers are fucking twitching with the need to touch him.
Once he’s been stripped down to his boxers, he leans down to kiss you before you stop him with a hand on his chest. The lone tiger lily on his arm catches your attention.
Your fingers reach out to trace the black ink on his body, the lines delicate, your touch feather light. You’re suddenly curious. When did he get it? You can’t remember if you two ever talked about getting tattoos.
“What does it mean?” you ask. It strikes you with the realization that this is just one of the thousands of things that you missed, a reminder of your lost time. 
“Please love me,” he says, bringing his hands up to cup your face. He looks at you, just for a few seconds, before clarifying, “It means ‘Please love me,’” then kissing you again.
Jungkook clumsily and blindly searches for the dress’ zipper on your back, giving it a few impatient tugs until it finally starts gliding down your body. Your lips never part from one another as the dress falls to the floor, pooling at your feet. But once you step out of it, he does pull back to look at you from head to toe. His eyes fall to your chest, clad in a lacy pink bra that matches your panties. The look he gives you is the same one that he did when he saw you in your dress earlier today. But there’s something else in his eyes - realization, pride, perhaps a question too.
His hands are back on your body instantly, throwing you onto the bed, crawling over you like a predator. He discards your bra with ease, flinging it to the floor with the rest of your clothes. You shiver when the chilly air meets your bare chest, but the sensation quickly goes away when he takes your breast into his warm mouth. You let out a delighted sigh, arching your back to push yourself further into him as his tongue flicks over your stiff nipple. One of his hands comes up to squeeze your other breast to make sure that it isn’t neglected, rolling your pebbled bud between his thumb and forefinger. He switches to sucking your other tit after a while, then pawing at the one he just had in his mouth.
“Jungkook,” you whine his name when he makes out with your tits for too long, because there’s somewhere else that desperately requires his immediate attention. “Need you…”
He releases your nipple with a wet pop, and he looks pleased with himself when he sees that they’re thoroughly glistening with his spit. “Sorry,” he says with a chuckle. “Didn’t mean to keep you waiting.” He starts making his way down your body, kissing every inch of your skin that’s on display for him, before you put a hand on his shoulder when his face gets close to your thighs.
“What are you doing?”
He looks up at you as his fingers ghost over the fabric of your panties. “Can I?”
You lick your lips, contemplating whether or not you have the patience to wait for him. But alas, you decide, “Okay.”
Jungkook makes quick work of sliding your underwear down your legs and letting it join the pile on the floor. Even in the dim light, he can see just how wet you are, practically glittering with arousal, looking so utterly inviting that it makes his mouth water. All of this, just for him.
He doesn’t waste another second, diving right into you to lick a stripe up your dripping folds. Swiftly burying two fingers into your heat, he doesn’t stop until he’s knuckles deep. Your lips part in a silent but delighted moan. You forgot how good he used to make you feel. Your fingers could never feel as good as his, not thick enough to stretch yourself open and not long enough to reach deep inside of you.
“Fuck,” you drawl, your eyes fluttering shut when the tip of his tongue meets your throbbing clit, teasing it until you’re practically grinding against his face. You thread a hand into his hair, gripping his dark locks until he’s groaning, sending blissful vibrations all throughout your body. The figure 8’s that his tongue draws on your clit sets you alight, sends you into a whole other dimension completely as pleasure courses through your veins. 
“So good,” he mumbles. To you? To himself? You can’t tell, but that doesn’t really matter. “Still so good.”
You hear it, just how soaked you are, as he begins thrusting his digits in and out of you. He strokes your walls delicately with each press of his fingers, scissoring you open for what you know is to come. 
His tongue dips into your entrance then, teases your dripping hole as you pant heavily, 
Your legs close in on his head as the orgasm nears, but he keeps your thighs apart, firmly holding them open as he makes you unravel.
This is fucking unreal - Jungkook with his whole face tucked between your legs, desperate to make you come with his talented mouth. You never would have anticipated this when you woke up this morning.
No, just a while ago you were crying by yourself down at the beach. Now you’re crying out his name as he smothers himself in you.
Once he starts curling them inside of you, it’s embarrassing how fast you come. You clench hard around his fingers as the orgasm washes over you, dripping down his fingers and he uses the added wetness to carry you through the high.
“Jungkook…” you whimper, sounding completely fucked out even though it’s only just beginning. After a while, the heightened pleasure fades into the background, and he presses soft kisses against your inner thigh.
He crawls his way up your body until he’s facing you again. You watch his fingers and the way they’re coated in your juices, wondering what he’ll do with them next. Jungkook languidly smears the wetness all over your lips like he’s carefully painting them, only to kiss you afterward. When you moan against him, he takes the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth. Your hand finds its way into his boxers then, wrapping your fingers around his hardened length, pumping him in your fist until he’s shallowly rutting against you.
The kiss gets broken when he suddenly pulls away, realization dawning on him. “Shit,” he exclaims. “I don’t have a condom.”
“Oh.” You blink at him, then you both just look at each other for a while. This isn’t a problem with no solution, even if the solution is a disastrous one in hindsight. You just want him, so badly that you can’t think of anything else.
He waits for you, doesn’t dare say anything else until you do.
Yet again, the opportunity presents itself for you to stop.
But you’ve already gone this far, and though it’s damn near impossible, you want him even more than you did before.
“Are you clean?” you ask.
It’s evident that he’s surprised by the way his eyes widen, and his silence that follows for the next half a minute. “Yeah,” he tells you.
“Okay. Then we don’t need a condom.”
He says your name once, his fingers brushing your hair away from your face sweetly. You always did like your name best when it used to fall from his lips so softly. “Are you sure?” he asks.
“I’m sure. I promise.”
Jungkook sucks in a breath, like he’s steadying himself, before he rids himself of the remaining piece of clothing on his body, then settles between your legs again. This time, his cock rests directly on your bare pussy. The anticipation makes it harder for you to breathe, makes you squeeze your thighs around his waist to not let him leave.
“How long has it been?”
Your answer is vague. “Too long,” you say. You don’t want to tell him that there’s been no one else since him, but you have a feeling that he understands it anyway. You think that he’d be pleased with your answer, that maybe it would boost his ego in a way, but there’s only a certain sadness that settles in his eyes. 
“Okay.” Regardless, he pushes past the sudden gloom that befalls his features, blinking away the disheartenment swimming in his irises, to align himself with your entrance. He rubs his cock against your pussy to coat you in his precum, even though you yourself are certainly more than wet enough for him to slide home easily. “Ready?”
“Yes,” you confirm, bracing your hands on his shoulders as he eases the tip into you, making the both of you moan at the contact. You feel him, all of him.
For a second, you wonder if he has ever forgone protection with anyone else, or if it’s only ever been just you.
Jungkook takes one of your hands off his shoulder to lay it flat on the bed next to your head, lacing your fingers together, giving your hand a slight squeeze. “Breathe. You can do it.”
“Give me a minute.”
“We’ve got time,” he says, his voice smooth like velvet.
“Can you kiss me?” you ask, almost like you’re shy even though he’s balls deep inside of you.
He chuckles lightly, so endeared by you and your silly question.
His lips meet yours sweetly, like doing so would help make the stretch less painful. Maybe it does, at least a little bit. 
You can feel his cock throbbing inside of you, and he’s probably trying so hard to hold back, but he keeps kissing you nonetheless.
“You can move,” you say after a while.
“I’ll go slow, okay?”
“Okay.”
He rears his hips back, slowly, then thrusts forward again. You whimper from the slight burn, but it’s nothing you can’t handle. His movements are gentle for the next couple of minutes or so, and it isn’t until you start opening up more that he sets a steadier pace. Even when he starts to fuck you faster, one of his hands is still on your hips, rubbing your skin soothingly. 
“Fuck,” Jungkook grunts out, followed by a sigh of your name as he pumps into your cunt, every ridge and vein of his cock dragging deliciously in and out of your walls. “You feel so good.”
He gazes down at you as he moves, and there’s just something so intimate about it that it makes you want to cry again.
You know what it’s like to have him fuck you, and this isn’t it.
No, this is something else entirely.
I love you, you think. I love you so fucking much.
“Missed you.” His words come out hushed, caught in half a moan, half a whimper. “Missed you so fucking much.”
“Did you think about me?”
“Always,” he says, without even missing a beat.
“No,” you clarify. “When you were sleeping with other people, did you think about me?”
“I only thought about you.” His hips stutter as he tells you this, like he’s confessing to something that he shouldn’t. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”
You never admitted this to anyone, not even Taehyung even though he probably sensed it, but you used to feel like you could be physically sick just looking at the photos on his feed every time you’d lurk on a drunken night. They were never flashy, just subtle enough for you to know that there was someone. It made you nauseous, because the place next to him was always supposed to be yours.
You just stare at him, not knowing how to process this bit of information. Sure, it’s an ego boost. There’s some pride in knowing that you were the one on his mind even if you weren’t together.
He’s so utterly gorgeous like this that you can’t form a single coherent thought, too lost in the way his eyes bore into yours and in the blossoming warmth that spreads all over your chest from hearing his words.
How did he manage to get even more beautiful? Sculpted by the gods. The standard for all men.
“What is it?” he asks when you stare at him for too long.
“I…” You blink away the daze. “I wanna be on top.”
“Okay.”
Jungkook slips out of you just long enough to get seated with his back against the headboard and pull you into his lap. You hover over him, letting his tip rub against your dripping hole for a moment before you sink onto him. You tip your head back and sigh as you envelope him fully again, the only difference is that you can feel him so much deeper like this.
He grabs your ass with both hands, kneading your skin as he helps you ride him. The sounds that you make together are downright obscene, bouncing off the walls, ringing in your ears.
“Harder,” you tell him shakily. “Don’t wanna hurt you.”
“I want it to hurt,” you say, holding onto him like you’re bracing for impact, because you know he’ll give you what you want. “Make it hurt.”
Jungkook sighs once, then digs his heels into the mattress to steady himself before his hips go wild, thrusting into you with such force that it nearly has you sobbing, your head falling onto his shoulder. It makes you burn with pleasure, like a star before it becomes a supernova. When the tension starts building quickly, you can’t help but slam your hips down harder to meet his thrusts, to chase that high.
You press your lips against his skin, any spot you could find - his jaw, his neck, his shoulder. “Tell me you love me.”
The words are ready on the tip of his tongue, like he’s been waiting for an opportunity to say it. He doesn’t miss a single beat as he tells you, “I love you.”
“Mean it.”
“I do mean it. I love you.”
Truth.
For some sick and twisted reason, his words send you crashing over the edge, falling into that abyss of pleasure that you’ve been searching for. You say his name, over and over again, like you’re making up for all the years that he wasn’t around to hear it.
Your walls convulse wildly around him as you cry out, your toes curling, your thighs shaking. He holds you close, thrusting into you through your orgasm until you’re dizzy, like you could actually pass out from the overwhelming bliss.
“I’m close,” he tells you in a raspy voice.
You catch your breath long enough to say, “Come for me.”
“Where do you want it?”
“Inside,” you say without much thought. If you were in a clearer state of mind, you would know that it’s reckless and stupid. You’re not on birth control, and if anything were to happen, you would have no one to blame but yourself.
But you aren’t in a clear state of mind, and maybe this is even more dangerous than if you were fueled by alcohol. At least you can sober up from alcohol.
You just want him so badly that rationality seems like a luxury you can’t afford right now.
“Y/N,” he whispers shakily, though there’s a warning edge to his voice that you understand.
“I want you to come inside me. I want it. I want it so bad. Please.”
Jungkook groans at your answer. 
He doesn’t ask you to look at him, instead choosing to hide his face against your neck where you feel something wet glide down your skin as he grips your hips. It’s followed by a sniffle, and hands that hold onto you like you’re a lifeline. 
He’s crying, and that breaks your fucking heart.
You don’t know what to do. Part of you wants to tilt his chin up to look at you, because it feels strange without his tender gaze on you, but you decide against it even though the tips of your fingers tingle with the need to do so. 
Your walls clench with purpose, squeezing around him, trying to help you get there. It’s not that long before you hear your name falling from his lips in a choked out moan, so needy and beautiful and makes you nostalgic. He empties himself inside of you, making you shudder from the sudden warmth that he paints along your walls.
You stay in the same position for a few more minutes until your chest is no longer heaving with exhaustion and euphoria. He gently pulls you off his lap to lay you down on the bed, pressing an apologetic kiss against your bare shoulder when you wince from the oversensitivity, from any kind of movement at all. 
When he moves to throw on his boxers and goes to stand up, you reach for him. “Where are you going?” You instantly feel pathetic for asking.
He pauses, then squeezes your hand as that sadness from before makes an appearance in his eyes again. “I’m just going to the bathroom,” he tells you, his voice quiet.
The relief on your face must be visible. “Okay,” you say. Rationally, you know he probably wouldn’t fuck you and leave you the second the deed is done. But again, rationality is a luxury at the moment.
Jungkook returns a couple of minutes later with a warm cloth, and dabs it between your legs to clean you up. You grimace when he touches you there, evidently sore already from the activities you just engaged in.
“Sorry,” he’s quick to say, though it isn’t really his fault. Or maybe it is his fault. You’re not sure if that even matters.
When he’s done, he gets under the covers with you. “Come here,” he says, then shuffles your body closer to his until he’s holding you with his hands on your bare waist. He leans down to kiss you, and you let him. God, you feel like you’re fucking melting.
It’s different from the kiss down at the beach, and it’s different from the needy ones you shared in the past hour. It’s soft and slow and easy, like there’s nothing for you to worry your pretty little head about.
Jungkook breaks away eventually, and rests his forehead against yours then. One of his hands on your waist slides up to your ribs, until his thumb could brush the underside of your breast. The touch is gentle, sweet, completely innocent.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispers. He means everything he tells you. “You’re perfect.”
You even blush, like you’re a stupid lovesick teenager. “Tell me,” you say.
“Anything.”
You reckon it’s self-indulgent at this point. You’re only asking to feel better about your place in his life, or rather, the place that used to be yours.
“Tell me you can’t live without me.”
He nudges his nose against yours. No hesitation. “I can’t live without you.”
Truth. You know it’s the truth.
Nonetheless… “Liar.” Your tone is soft. There’s no bite at all. You touch his face, trying to commit to memory every detail, how his soft skin feels under your touch as if it’s the last time you’ll ever get to see him like this. Maybe it is. You never got to have a last time with him, never got to know that it was ending before it already ended. You’re not thinking about the morning because you don’t want to, but the seed of anxiety is there in your belly. Your fingers trace his jawline as you say, “You lived without me. You were doing fine without me.”
His lips ghost over your cheek. “It wasn’t much of a life,” he says. “I couldn’t bear it without you.”
The thing is, you know that he’s being honest. And it should make you feel good that you affected him as much as he affected you.
But then… it keeps leading you back to that question. The question that you thought you could go the rest of your life without knowing the answer to. But for that to be possible, you needed him to stay gone, stay out of your world forever.
He shouldn’t be here, tangled up in the sheets with you and kissing you like his life depends on it. 
He shouldn’t tell you that he misses you, that he loves you. Shouldn’t tell you to please, love him too.
It’s contradictory, isn’t it? You needed to never see him again if you stood a chance of moving on with your life. You needed it and yet, all you wanted was to have him back by your side.
The tattoo catches your attention again. It feels like it’s laughing at you, mocking you.
You clench your teeth once, your eyes beginning to turn glassy. Jungkook sees it, and he’s quick to break up your train of thought. He presses his mouth to yours, shushing you with a deep kiss that makes your head spin, despite it all.
“Don’t think about it,” he mumbles against your lips, so desperate to get you to stop. As if he can sense where this could lead.
“How could I not? I don’t know who you are anymore.”
“You know me.” He holds onto your wrist, to keep your hand on his face before you can pull it away. “I’m still the same.”
“No, you’re not,” you say quietly, absentmindedly.
“Yes,” he insists. “Yes, I am.”
Maybe that’s true. Maybe you do see the person you used to know. But you only ever see him in glimpses and it always leaves you with a terrible, nauseous feeling afterward.
He doesn’t understand how much it hurts you to catch glimpses of the boy you used to love - the boy you still love - only to realize that maybe that isn’t the person he wants to be anymore. It feels like he keeps trying to kill that version of himself, like he despises the person who meant the world to you.
Are you gone forever?
Come back quietly.
“How old are you?” you ask after a moment.
The question makes him pause, his soft features twisting in confusion. He leans back a bit, so his eyes could focus on your face better.
“What?”
“How old are you?” you repeat.
It takes him another while to answer as he tries to see where you’re going with this. But when his search comes up empty, he just answers, “29.”
"I don't know who you are at 29. The last time I knew you was 24. No. You hadn't even turned 24 yet. Where was 25? 26? 27? 28? It’s unfair that you still know who I am when I don't know who you are. I feel like I never aged a day past 24. You carried on living but I'm still here."
His eyes well up once again, but this time, you can see it. The first tear spills over, lands somewhere on your collarbone. This is what you used to want, right? To see him hurting, just like how you were hurting? Well, be careful what you wish for.
No part of you feels victorious that you’re making him cry, that the score is finally being settled, because none of this undoes all of the shit you had to go through. If anything, it makes you feel even worse, like you’re still losing.
“I never moved on from us. I couldn’t move on from you,” he says, voice cracking toward the end. Your heart is doing the same thing in your chest, but you’re glad that he can’t see it. “I swear I miss you every day. I wanted you with me every day. You have no idea how much I wanted to come back to you.”
Jungkook looks so dejected, like a reflection of you these past few years. You recognize that look in his eyes. You know that sadness all too well. He was in as much pain as you were.
He loved you when he left you. He still loves you even after all this time. 
You inhale shakily. For the first time, you feel infinitely selfish for only focusing on your own misery without even stopping to give him the benefit of the doubt, to consider the possibility that maybe letting you go wasn’t something he wanted. Maybe he isn’t the antagonist that you spent years making him out to be.
There’s more to it, and you need to know.
“Then why did you leave me?”
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Graduation was just shy of a month ago, and two weeks before that was Hoseok’s flight when he left you all behind.
You and Jungkook, along with Taehyung and Jimin had gone to see him off at the airport. Of course you did, you were his best of friends after all. The goodbye was full of jokes accompanied by sniffles, and tears that overflowed without permission because you all agreed that you would hold yourself together for Hoseok. Jimin was probably the one who cried the most, even though inside, you were equally sad to see your friend leave.
A part of your life was ending, and that in and of itself was depressing enough already, but you thought at least the whole group would still be together and start the next chapter by each other’s side.
Nonetheless, it wasn’t the end of the world. All of you could still make it work, even if it wasn’t the most ideal of situations. You promised to keep in touch, promised to message the group chat every day and have video calls every weekend. You were still kids, and kids tend to be optimistic like that.
What none of you could see coming was how everything would fall apart in a matter of mere weeks.
Jungkook thinks that decades from now, when he’s old and gray and helpless, he still won’t be able to forget that day.
He should’ve been more concerned when your mother contacted him out of nowhere, asking him to meet with her, asking him not to let you know where he was going.
He’d shown up half an hour early to the cafe where they were supposed to meet, just because he didn’t want to risk being late and have your mother disapprove of him even more. Not once had she expressed anything other than disdain toward your relationship, but you’d always told him it didn’t matter, that you were the only person who could decide what to do with your life, not anyone else, let alone your mother. He always believed you back then, even if deep down, he still wanted her to see that he was enough for you. Her unattainable approval still mattered to him.
Jungkook spent thirty whole minutes running on nothing but anxiety and caffeine. That was probably his first mistake, ordering a cup of coffee which only made him more nervous than he already was.
When your mother arrived, it barely took her any time at all to get right into what she came here to say. She hadn’t even bothered with a drink.
Was that how it was always going to end? Should he have seen it coming from the beginning? Was he the only one who thought it would be you and him all the way until the very end?
Maybe he was more of a hopeless romantic than he thought.
It was the way she had called him a phase that she hoped you’d grow out of. That she had let you keep this relationship for long enough, but now that you’d graduated - now that you’d be starting a life for yourself - she couldn’t sit back and watch you throw it all away for a boy who could never give you what you deserved.
It was the way she told him she didn’t want history to repeat itself. How she didn’t want to subject you to the same fate that she and your father had to suffer through. How she had left your dad because in the end, he wasn’t enough for her and you, even though you were a child and you deserved to grow up with a father and with love.
She said the same thing would happen to you and Jungkook, because you were meant for greater things and he was not meant to deserve you. She made it clear that he would always hold you back, that he would never amount to even a fraction of what you should receive in life.
“If you love her, you would let her go.”
Cliché, right? Like the kind of stuff you only ever see in movies? Well, movies have to take inspiration from somewhere.
He thought about his own mother then, and about how people could have such different ways of showing love. He believed that your mother loved you, and he still believes that. She wouldn’t have gone through the trouble of seeing him if she didn’t care about you. She wanted the best for you, and that wasn’t him.
She didn’t have to tell him to keep it a secret from you, because he wouldn’t have told you regardless. He was well aware of how strained your relationship with your mother was, and letting you know would only drive it closer to the edge. She knew he wouldn’t tell you. He loved you, and that was the one thing that she could count on.
Just sitting there in that café, Jungkook felt like all of the air had been sucked out of the room, even though he was surrounded by the other patrons and their lively laughter as they chatted away. The pitiful way that your mother kept looking at him forced him to learn what it was like to feel truly worthless.
The pity in her eyes only intensified when he couldn’t even say a single word in response, couldn’t think of anything to defend himself.
Silence meant agreement, and that was what he chose. Jungkook - the naive boy that he was - stopped believing in you. He’d believed her instead.
He was just a kid, what else was he supposed to do? 
She was your own flesh and blood, and he knew nothing could ever replace that. He would rather let you hate him, resent him for the rest of your life, than let you lose your family.
That day, he lied to you for the first time ever, saying he couldn’t come over because he was tired. The sunflowers he bought for you just hours prior ended up dying on his windowsill.
He wouldn’t see you again for a few more days, then for months afterward.
July was supposed to represent a blossoming summer, but all he could remember was the dreadful promise of a winter that would inevitably come.
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You call his name when he takes too long to answer. “Tell me.”
“I love you,” he merely says. His hand brushes your cheek.
You frown, despite the way the three words make your chest tingle.
“I love you,” he says it again, trying to ease the furrow between your brows.
“That’s not what I asked.”
“I’m sorry.”
His voice is soft, barely even audible, but it’s this gentleness that makes his words ricochet, ringing in your ears loudly like a gun going off in the quiet of your room.
Again with the apologies.
Fuck this.
It’s hard to take it to heart when you don’t even know what he’s apologizing for.
You gave Jungkook the chance to explain himself, but if he doesn’t take it, then that’s not on you. There isn’t much else that you can do.
You swallow hard, then shove him off of you so you could get out of the bed. Your legs instantly tremble as you attempt to stand, but you soldier on as you put on your bra and underwear, then grab your dress from where it lays abandoned on the floor. You’re shaking, but it’s difficult to determine if it’s because you’re angry, or cold without his warmth nearby.
He’s quick to his feet too, rushing toward you before you could leave.
“Don’t touch me,” you hiss when he reaches for your arm. He doesn’t listen, because when has Jeon Jungkook ever fucking listened?
“Y/N, wait-”
“Wait for what?! I asked you a simple question and you can’t even answer me.”
He runs a hand over his face frustratedly, clearly torn over something. He holds your angered gaze, but the way he looks at you is much milder, gentler even if it’s equally frustrated. “I’m trying to protect you.”
You don’t know if it’s the wrong answer or not. You just know that in this moment, it irritates you to no end.
“Oh my god,” you gasp mockingly. “Someone is trying to kill me.”
“What?”
“Someone is trying to kill me. Someone is waiting outside that door right now, waiting for me to come out so they can kill me. Holy fucking shit, I’m about to be assassinated.”
“Y/N, I’m serious.”
There’s that burning sensation behind your eyes again. “And you think I’m not? What do you mean you’re trying to protect me? Protect me from what? Do you think this is a fucking k-drama? Jesus Christ,” you scoff harshly. “What do you want from me? What the actual fuck do you want?”
Jungkook aims for you again, and in an attempt to ward him off, your swinging fist inadvertently collides with his chest. The dress falls to the floor again, laying next to your feet, that useless piece of fabric.
It probably doesn’t do much damage to him, but he’s a bit startled regardless. So are you, if you’re being honest. But you do it again, and surprisingly, he lets you.
“You coward.” You shove hard at his chest, making him stumble backward. “You unbelievable asshole. You fucked me, you said you loved me, and you still can’t tell me why you left me.” 
He allows you to push him until his back is pressed against the wall. And even then, you don’t relent. Your fists continue beating against his chest as you start sobbing, spilling ‘I hate you’s in between so many expletives it could make his grandmother faint.
He might bruise in the morning.
You hope he bruises in the morning.
The least Jungkook could do is bruise for you.
You want him to curse him out for so many things - for loving you, for leaving you, for not even having the balls to tell you why he broke your heart. For coming back to remind you that you still love him. For proving that he still has you in the palm of his hands, and every twitch of his finger can make you feel like the walls are crumbling down on you.
But even as you tell him how much you hate him, you’re still thinking: Come back. I don’t want to keep losing you. Come back to me.
Because he’s the only person who can hurt you like this. When you think about him, it used to make you so depressed that you could hardly function. There’s no other way to put it to make it sound less pathetic. That’s just how it is.
You shouldn’t have agreed to this weekend, shouldn’t have been nice to him, shouldn’t have let him convince you not to think about it. You shouldn’t have opened the door for him in the first place, because there was always a part of you that knew he could get under your skin so easily just like that.
This wasn’t your second chance at holding onto him. It wasn’t a do-over. It was a re-enactment.
The years haven’t made you wiser, that much is clear.
You don’t know how long this goes on for, but at some point, you begin to wear yourself out. Your movements start to slow and the energy to violently sob leaves your body until you’re nearly collapsing. Jungkook catches you when you don’t have the strength to hold yourself up anymore. Why are you always so fucking helpless?
“You just…” Your voice gets caught at the end of a sob. This is rock bottom all over again. “You make me so sad.”
You grasp his arm weakly, feeling like your own lungs are failing you. You can’t breathe. It’s too much, too infinitely humiliating. He’s doing this to you again, and this time you have to shoulder most of the blame, because you are the one that enabled your own heartbreak for the second time.
You’re still crying, and you hate that this is the first time he’s ever seen you cry like this.
“I’m trying to protect you,” he says firmly, looking at you like he’s trying so hard not to break down alongside you. “Please, I’m so sorry.” The words come out as a whisper now. You can feel the tremble in his voice and the shake of his hands where they hold you. His big bambi eyes - the usual home of constellations - now house tears that threaten to spill onto his supple cheeks. “Please. What can I do to make you believe me?”
It’s those stupid fucking eyes. It’s your stupid fucking self.
“You need to tell me.” Your tears keep on falling no matter how much he tries to wipe them away. “I can’t take it anymore.”
“It’ll make things worse,” he tells you, his voice cracking as he does. He sounds like he means it, and maybe he does believe that whatever he’s hiding from you will only hurt you more. It almost has you caving, but you can’t do this a second time. You’re exhausted, both physically and emotionally. In the morning, you’ll think about how this is all so dramatic, the way you’re acting right now. The most k-drama-esque thing that has ever happened to you. But in the moment, you just feel like someone plunged a knife in your chest, and they keep twisting it, twisting and twisting,...
In the end, you decide that it’s a risk you’ll have to take, because nothing can be more painful than the absolute hell he’s putting you through. He’ll never understand how utterly excruciating it is to experience this kind of heartbreak.
“If you don’t tell me now, I won’t be able to survive you again.”
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up next...
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our beloved summer (08) ⏤ aka the JK centric chapter
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all rights reserved © jeonqkooks. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted september 30, 2023]
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tomorrcwz · 3 months
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˗ ˏ ˋ 𝐁𝐔𝐈𝐋𝐃 𝐀 𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐑, 𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐀𝐍 𝐒𝐀𝐑𝐆𝐄𝐀𝐍𝐓
Pairings : Logan Sargeant x reader (platonic)
in which Logan and you have a day off work in London and decide to go to build a bear, creating each a stuffy for the other as you did as children.
— only friend i need series
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"Come on Logs, live a little", you said, pressing the blonde to agree to your spontaneous idea of the day. "it's a fantastic idea, I always have those, and i still can't believe you've lived here for what? Two years now? and still didn't do it. shame, mate."
Said man, who sat opposite of you, took another bite of his somewhat healthy breakfast choice his trainer would've had a wet dream about, all while starring in disbelief at you, the one who's bright smile focused on the plate of waffles, covered in strawberries and cream.
He shallowed, opening his mouth to disagree with the idea but nothing came to his mind, letting you grin in excitement. "I— well, fine, but don't you think we're a bit too old for build a bear, y/n?"
"Buh, since when do we do age appropriate stuff?", you questioned, thinking back about the many times you rode rollercoasters for children, watched movies in the cinema for zero to six years old and did other things people considered then to be made for children. "it's cute, saw a tiktok about it."
"You and your tiktok obsession — when did you even watch it? We were out all day yesterday."
You rolled your eyes playfully. "Are you that old, sargeant? You were in the gym after we had lunch at mine."
"Yeah true", the man sheepishly agreed, remembering the cardio and weight session, before his blue eyes brightened, signaling you that he had an idea — for the better or worse, you never knew with him.
"Please enlighten me, what's on your mind?"
Logan's smile widened, pupils blooming. "How about I build you a stuffy and you for me like we did when we were younger?"
"Yes please, that has to the best idea you've had in a while, Logs", you giggled. "Let's eat and then we'll make our way there, its in that mall not so far away from here."
With that, you both ate in silence, listing to the gossip around you — an older woman complained to her son about back pain, a couple fought about having another baby (the woman didn't want another one while the man was adapt on growing the family) and a man in his forties tried to flirt with the waiter —, Logan and you sent each other looks and quirked eyebrows, whenever the topic grew hotter and juicier.
As you shallowed the last bite of your delicious breakfast, Logan already waved the waiter over to pay for today's expenses — since both of you worked, you took turns with the payment, even though the racer tried to take the check whenever you were eating in a somewhat bougier place, saying that he made more and wanted to be a gentleman which would get him a snort out of you or a slap on the arm. not that it hurt him, you liked to think the hits had to be gently because of his worth for Williams.
After the blonde had paid, he impatiently stood up, holding out his hand for helping you to stand up. "Let's go, y/n, we don't have all day."
You let go off his hand, pressing a finger to your forehead. "Don't know why I keep up with you, you're acting like a kid in a hardware store. i'm praying for Alex and his patience."
"Hey, I'm not that bad", your friend shrieked, pulling your head into am armlock to rub your hair which he knew you didn't enjoy at all — you weren't a pet, you'd tell him.
"You're a shithead, have I ever said that to you?", you grumbled as you freed yourself from his strong grasp.
"And you're what? a Saint?", a snort escaped the man's throat, pushing you lightly forward to continue your way to the destination. "cause I don't think so, you're as bad as me, that's why we're friends."
Once again you grumbled under your breath but decided to just walk, letting Logan rant about his trip to New York with Williams and the training camp that was held in Miami.
When you arrived at the mall, you've heard all about his recent work experience, Alex's stories about his holidays and a new recipe Logan's mom came up (it didn't sound but why was she adapt to add pumpkin to the dish?).
"Look logs, there it is", you pointed out, gaze hazy with childish excitement. You intertwined your hand with his, dragging him inside the colourful store to the yet lifeless bodies of stuffies — there was the classic Teddy in a few shades of brown, forest and savanna animals as well as movie characters like yoda, stich and hedwig, Harry Potter's beloved owl.
you truly were in paradise. "Oh look, it's an eagle, that's so American, so you", a booming laughter fell from your lips, winning the attention of a mother daughter duo next to you, causing you to blush and Logan to pinch your side.
alas, your friend had enough of you, so therefore he left your side to explore the many options the shop had in stock. You didn't see his pick as your only matter was to fulfil the task of finding the right stuffy for logan and putting it in clothing.
In the end you decided on a cute black alpaca and put it in a white cargo trousers combined with a multicoloured party shirt and some blue jeans jacket, letting yourself be inspired by the clothing styles of Logan and George Russell's invention of white pants and a williams team shirt as a williams driver's standard uniform — you'd switch up the party shirt as soon as you'll get a hang out of sewing to make a mini williams shirt but for now the alpaca was going to own the shirt as did logan in the summer when you both went out for a wild night back home.
As you put the heart and the small voice box thingy in the stuffy, a small happy tear rolled down your cheek; you chose to say two things: the first one was the viral meme of him being American, silently screaming rwahh what the fuck is a kilometre and the second was a sweet message to cheer him up, hopefully, whenever he felt bad and you'd be out of his reach — a small fracture of yourself, reminding him of his greatness and uniqueness, and that he was loved and cheered. You were a sentimental being, no shame whatsoever, even though your friend sometimes liked to tease you about it, causing you to clap back — it was just that kind of friendship where you could let lose, be yourself without further worries nor feeling embarrassed or awkward.
When Logan finally got to you — you had waited for him outside of the mall, leaning on the car as you had texted him, and bought two cups of coffee at the small café on the opposite side of the build a bear shop— you gave him the box, containing the alpaca, wearing a silly expression on your face, which Logan mirrored.
"Let's see, if you still know me after seeing the whole wide world without me", you joked, silly smile morphing in a naughty grin on your lips.
"As if I could forget you, stinks."
"Maybe I should return it, you don't deserve it—"
"Hey, I don't do anything wrong", he exclaimed, making grabby hands to get the stuffy.
"Mister Sargeant, you are a liar and a very bad one at that", you tsked him. "Haven't we already said that we refer to call me stinks? the name should be buried six foot deep next to—"
"Don't you dare, y/n."
"I definitely should tweet the nickname, your colleagues would eat it up, don't you think so?", you giggled gleefully, remembering how you called him as you were two young children, running around the neighbourhood to terrorise them.
"And that's why I don't take you with me", he mumbled under his breath, holding out his hand where the stuffy box hang off. "Here we go, silly, hope you like it."
Slowly, you opened the box and the sight of your favourite animal greeted you, wearing the cutest hogwarts robes of your house. "Aw Logs, it's so pretty and fluffy. I love it." Gently you pressed you face against the small head of the stuff toy, enjoying the cozy texture of it and closed your eyes, salivating the moment.
After a moment, the blonde man enclosed you in a hug. "the alpaca's lovely, y/n/n. Best idea we had in a while."
"yeah true", you agreed, returning the hug.
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dr-beetus · 9 days
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Sorry to do this, but I don't seem to have many options.
At the end of last year, my partner and I were finally able to live together after years of being apart. We had troubles with employment, and I've lost two jobs in the months he's been here due to my health. We're both trans and disabled so finding a job that can accommodate my health needs is difficult. It's especially hard when your health seems to improve and decline depending on which planets are in retrograde.
Before anyone says something about "treatable" or "manageable" chronic illness, know that I've been sick since I was a year old. I've heard every shitty suggestion, pseudoscientific treatment or cure, and I'm not going to tolerate that kind of thing. If eating only lemon rinds and uncooked brown rice worked I would have done it by now.
Roughly 6 months into us living together, we were separated again. Luckily this was temporary, and we are living in the same place now. The problem is that we both lost our more affordable housing while both unemployed and moving isn't cheap...
The new place is fine and the roommates are fantastic people who didn't have to give us a space. Finally being able to live together, and to be ourselves has been amazing. That being said, we're broke as hell. I just got an email saying my account has hit zero, and we need help.
I can't go back on my word with the rent agreement, and if we can't pay, we can't stay. Right now, there isn't anywhere for us to go besides our small truck. Please consider donating to help two disabled queers stay housed. We need $400 by the end of the month, and any amount will help.
Of course, if you can't afford a donation, then please don't donate. Thank you for your consideration. Reblogs are greatly appreciated.
Ko-Fi: chiikysquirrel
Paypal: chiikysquirrel
0/400
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Don't you think it's funny cause actual canon gay characters in BL manga will say "I love you" but only the shounen bromance can spew out some of the most romantic shit akin to a 19th century poet writing a letter expressing his surpressed love for his lover 😭.....
Genuniely can't tell if it's bait or not, but I'm going to treat this ask seriously anyway.
Here, have some examples of beautiful and poetic expressions of love in BL media!
I'm going to start with my favourite murder husbands, Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishu from Word of Honor/Faraway Wanderers!
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This happens in episode nine, less than one third into the story- it's that early, they've known each other for like a week and are already able to tell they're meant to be. They've made their decision to be together, and over the course of the story:
They defend each other multiple times and fight side by side in multiple episodes, sometimes protecting their adopted kid/mentee Chengling as well
Zhou Zishu is willing to go against the whole martial arts society for his boyfriend. With zero hesistation, might I add.
They both know the other has done horrible things (lots of murder on both sides here) and that's not only okay, it's a big part of why they're soulmates and get each other so well!
Zhou Zishu is slowly dying (poisoned nails in his chest, long story) and Wen Kexing can and will risk his life to save him. Don't worry, they get a happy ending both in the show and the novel even if the show's last episode is behind a paywall and Netflix didn't even include it for some reason?
But enough about them, let's move on to the immortal fantasy genre boyfriends Hua Cheng and Xie Lian from Heaven Official's Blessing!
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Please note how Hua Cheng is ready to accept Xie Lian in whatever state he's currently in- as a god, a fallen outcast, even grieving and angry and at his absolute lowest. He's stood by Xie Lian in his worst moments, even if at the time Xie Lian had no idea it was him.
Hua Cheng has loved Xie Lian for 800 years, ever since he was a boy Xie Lian saved from falling to his death during a procession.
Xie Lian became a god, then fell due to horrible circumstances, almost committed a war crime against another nation that destroyed his country, spend 800 years wandering the mortal realm as a poor cultivator with his powers greatly reduced, and eventually ascended to become a god again. Throughout it all, Hua Cheng loved him and did his best to help him and then find him.
They're both adorable and the definition of a power couple once they're reunited- no spoilers, but they eventually fight an incredibly powerful god side by side and win & the last scene in the story is them reuniting for good since there's no more obstacles to their immortal love.
Let's move on to my favourite Japanese BL, Our Dining Table (also available as a series that came out semi-recently, but the examples below are from the manga.)
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Yutaka is a lonely salesman who meets Minoru, a restaurant worker and his much younger brother Tane grieving the death of their mother.
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Yutaka and Minoru hit it off by bonding through food they cook and share. The series is incredibly heartwarming, and as seen above Yutaka becomes a much happier person thanks to both his new relationship and big brother-like bond with little Tane.
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As a little bonus, the whole found family together!
This post can't be complete without Golden Stage (or Golden Terrace, as the English official translation calls it).
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Fu Shen and Yan Xiaohan aren't even in love at this point! This is at the beginning of the story, when their marriage has just been arranged by the emperor and they're still bitter rivals.
Yan Xiaohan is already protective of his future husband- later on, he also builds him a mansion meant to accommodate his disability (nerve damage in both legs, which requires a wheelchair and/or crutches). They're both incredibly powerful military generals, and the emperor was an idiot thinking an arranged marriage would humiliate them.
Of course they fall in love, of course they're a power couple, of course they send each other letters through trained geese when they're separated during the war, of course they run to each other as fast as they can across a wide cold river when they're finally reunited! Of course they're important to me!
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....Aaand how about some Wangxian to wrap up this post? They need no introduction, an absolutely wonderful and complex relationship in a complex fantasy/intrigue story available in several forms - the books, the animated series (as seen above), the live action series, the audio drama, there's so much!
Some of their most beautiful moments:
Lan Wangji writing a song for Wei Wuxian and naming it Wangxian. Years after it's composed, Wei Wuxian plays it and LWJ is able to recognise him even in a different body.
LWJ begs WWX to come with him to Cloud Recesses, to safety, after WWX makes himself an enemy of the whole cultivation world for protecting innocent people.
They confront the final villain together, and work together to expose his crimes. This is also when their final love confession happens, and it's hilarious- in front of everyone's salad, WWX declares he also wanted to sleep with LWJ.
Despite censorship, the animated series was still able to allude to their wedding, showing them in red wedding robes (unfortunately can't find a gif rn)
Respectfully, if you genuinely think BL doesn't have beautiful love confessions and displays of romance, you need to find better BL.
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valyrfia · 7 months
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the best possible outcome for this is charles delaying the contract negotiations till next season summer break to see if ferrari is loyal to him or at least listening to him
Yes, completely agree. As I outlined here, I think Charles is and has been stalling negotiations. I'm not entirely sure whether he's been stalling them for a while (ie. since the summer) or whether this is a recent development with the way this season has gone after the summer break, (considering when there were rumours of a 35 million € per year 5 year contract floating around in August Charles said he wish they were true). Either way, it seems these articles today about Ferrari trying to pursue a contract extension with Charles are a deliberate leak by Ferrari to try and force Charles to the negotiating table, and put the spotlight on Charles and his contract. Although, if that's the case, I reckon it's backfired a little bit as the overwhelming public response to those articles has been that Charles should go nowhere near a new contract with those clowns.
This is absolutely dire for Ferrari. As my colleagues and I have pointed out on #Lestappen Gate 2023, that second Red Bull seat is being nicely lined up for Charles. I think it's pretty obvious at this point that he's Red Bull's first choice to fill that seat in 2025 . Ever since Monza, when no contract extension materialised (which was the first sign that something was off between Charles and Ferrari), Red Bull have: said they intend to sign two number one drivers (drastically changing their narrative from earlier in the year) with Max specifically saying he thinks him and Charles could be teammates (also changing his narrative from earlier in the year), had Charles's onboards up at at least two races alongside their actual signed drivers (Mexico and Brazil GPs). This doesn't even begin to cover the whole PR net that they've managed to weave, from the increase in Max and Charles content (driven largely by the RBR social medias! F1 and Ferrari social media have contributed, but this is largely reactionary), to Christian greeting Charles in front of the press and Netflix in Brazil. This past month has been a pitch by Red Bull to try and convince both Charles and the general public that Charles should fill that seat in 2025. And it's largely worked on the general public! It hasn't quite filtered through to commentators yet, but the idea of Charles in a Red Bull is all over social media and in Ferrari replies, I can confidently say that there's a zero chance that Charles's hasn't seen it. The last great question is whether the pitch has worked on him or not.
In a way, we're in a very different situation to a month ago, when everyone was full of bravado and pretending like they didn't really care/everything was fine. The parties involved are beginning to show their hands now–Ferrari is falling apart at the seams and can barely be called a race team anymore and yet is desperate to not lose Charles, Charles is refusing to enter proper contract negotiations and is threatening to leave unless Ferrari gets its shit together in an extremely short timeframe, and Red Bull is eagerly lurking and hitting Charles with constant reminders in their press and race reports that he is a champion and deserves better. The game is a lot more transparent now, but as a consequence just got a whole lot messier.
As a footnote as well, we haven't really touched on the Carlos situation much and that really requires a whole separate analysis, but it makes things even messier for Ferrari. It's quite obvious that they won't re-sign both Carlos and Charles and are not entering negotiations with Carlos until Charles is sorted (as semi-confirmed by the Sainz family's shady twitter activities). With Charles stalling negotiations like this, Ferrari could end up in a situation where they lose both Charles and Carlos.
So my main take away from this is that I definitely do not want to be Fred Vasseur at this instance.
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wildemaven · 11 months
Text
Sweet Creature: Chapter Nine
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Pairing: Dieter Bravo x F!Reader
WC: 8k
Warnings: 18+ Blog; Fluff, a kiss of angst, talk of past relationship and break up, pregnancy scare, mopey Poppy, nervousness and anxiety, brief mentions of sobriety, smut, self doubt, public speaking, reader has the nickname Poppy- zero physical description, to dumb dumbs in love
A/N: This is a doozy of a chapter, there was so much to pack in for these two. I can’t believe we’re nearing the end, I had definite moments of sadness as I was wrapping up this chapter but also found so inspiration to help tie up the story for these two! You can listen to Dieter & Poppy’s Playlist Here. Also a big thank you to @gnpwdrnwhiskey for constantly listening and helping me through this one, I definitely needed it on this chapter.
Series Masterlist / Playlist / Main Masterlist
Previous/ Epilogue
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It had taken a few months for Dieter to tangle himself into your life. 
Inching his way into your mind, settling deep within your bones and eventually finding shelter in the most sacred of places— your heart. 
It took only a matter of a few short days for him to imprint himself into your home, pieces of him lingering in your space, even long after he had left. 
But you can’t seem to pull yourself from the confines of your bed, each morning since his departure, you study the hollowed out spot where his worn body claimed as his, still having yet to find the energy to make it or wash the sheets clean of the hours of intensity and conversations ingrained into the plush pillow-top. 
Your fingers run over the creases of the pillow, remembering how you would trace the same lines etched across his face in the early mornings, the usual scrunch between his brows smooth and relaxed, the faintest of snores escaping his parted lips— memorizing his angelic dreamy state. 
A soft thread catches the path your finger continues to take. A silky strand of hair, no longer a part of him, now woven in through the fibers of your cotton pillowcase— proof he was here and existed in this space with you, with those unruly thick curls tousled with ardency, sweat and sleep— your fingers still managing to work through the wildness. 
*
-Saturday Morning-
“What was your last serious relationship like?” Dieter asks, laying on his side with an arm bent, head propped on his hand, your bed sheet draped over his naked lower half. 
His free hand mapping out the plains of your exposed skin, the morning sun filters through your bedroom window, providing a soft muted light as his fingers continue to unearth new details of your body he has yet to see in daylight. 
“Oof! Hitting me with the serious stuff first thing in the morning.” The rasp of sleep still coating your throat, your body turned in close towards him with one arm tucked between your pillow and resting head, your free hand mesmerized by the texture of his skin— connecting invisible lines between each freckle painted across his neck and chest. 
“Question for a question then. But you don’t have to answer it if you don’t want to.” 
“No, it’s fine. It’s— just a lot for some people to hear. Kind of just keep it to myself, less questions and ‘how come’ once they find out.” 
“Hey, I won’t judge you, for anything you tell me— ever.”
Dieter watches the way your eyes flit about for a few seconds, his hand stopping to rest on your naked hip with a gentle squeeze, a reassuring gesture of sincerity in his words. 
“Frankie was my high school sweetheart, we started dating our senior year. We were together— gosh…. 5, almost 6 years.” You let out a sigh, all the memories of your previous relationship flooding back to you, having been locked away for so long. 
“After high school, when we realized things were getting serious, we decided to figure out what we wanted moving forward. We were on the same page with everything for the most part, no real deal breakers. We would get married after college, buy a house— a seemingly cookie cutter life together.”
“I’m not following— sounds like the perfect life to me.” Confusion settles across his forehead, brows drawn together as he studies your face. 
“Except, I couldn’t give him the one thing he wanted— kids.” You notice the way his face drops when you say it, knowing his first thought is exactly what everyone else usually assumes when you tell them.
“I guess I should rephrase that— I didn’t want, don’t want kids. It was something we established too, both on board with living a childless life. We agreed we would be the best Aunt and Uncle for our friend’s kids.”
Dieter nods at your admission, the hand on your hip starting to leave feather-like strokes the length of your side, goosebumps scattering across your warm skin. 
“It wasn’t until we were well into our relationship that things changed. We had a bit of a pregnancy scare, we were both very careful too, so it was a bit of a shock when it happened. I was angry with myself— how could I let it happen? What did I do wrong? All the things running through my head the minute I saw those pink lines, wondering how we were going to afford a baby on our combined income, all while trying to get through finishing college— I spiraled pretty hard for a good week. But, through some routine testing, we discovered it was a false-positive— I was so fucking relieved!” 
Your fingers still over the hollow of his neck, taking a deep breath, not really sure how Dieter is taking everything you’re saying. 
“In the midst of my inner turmoil over the thought of being pregnant, I hadn’t really checked in with Frankie to see where his head was at, I had just assumed he was riding the same boat as me.”
“He changed his mind?” He asks. 
“Yeah— or it was what he had always wanted, he just didn’t realize it until that week, when it was almost a possibility.”
“So you broke up?”
“We stayed together for another year afterwards, thinking we could work through it. But I couldn’t keep that from him, it would have eaten me alive being the reason he wasn’t 100% happy. We decided it was best if we split.” You can’t help the smile that starts to develop, Dieter’s receptive demeanor made this whole moment feel a little less heavier than you thought it would be. 
“I ended up running into Frankie a few years ago. We caught up and I learned he ended up joining the army, Special Forces I think, met his wife while saving her from some bar creep, always the chivalrous one—  and they have two little girls. I like to think we both ended up where we were supposed to be.”
There’s a prick of something that ricochets across his chest— the pairing of unaltered reverence and adoration. You just want the best for others, and it shows even in how not that long ago how you went to battle for Diem out of pure love, wanting the best for her and Wren— he respects you so much now looking back on it. 
Dieter leans over and places a few soft kisses to your lips, the last one lingering a little longer before pulling away to rest his forehead on yours. 
“Thank you, for sharing that with me.” He murmurs against your lips. 
“Of course. My question now— What about you? Do you want kids?” You ask. 
Dieter gently pushes you to your back, settling himself between your legs, peering down at you with a soft smile.
“I’ll only ever be Uncle Dude— never had the desire to be a dad.” 
His head dips down to your still bare chest, the few kitten-like licks before he takes your nipple into his mouth, scorching and persistent, causing your back to arch up into him, eyes fluttering closed and mouth wide as you emit a breathless whine. 
A few intense sucking motions before he gives your breast an experimental bite, his eyes observing the way your body writhes at the juxtaposition of sensations before releasing it with a pop, blowing a stream of cold air across your wet skin and watching the way your nipple instantly tightens. 
He crawls up your body, one arm resting next to your head as the other snakes down between your bodies taking hold of his now hardened cock, a few quick strokes before he’s notching the head at your now dripping entrance. 
“Doesn’t mean I don’t like partaking in the act.” His words punctuated by him fully sheathing himself into your cunt.
“Oh fuck! Dieter—“ Your laugh quickly exchanged for a heady moan. 
Your bodies meld together in a heated indulgence. The slippery grip of dewy skin as your bodies work in a synergistic fashion, calculated snapping of hips take you both to a climactic level of bliss. 
*
BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ
The vibration of your phone against your nightstand draws you back from the reliving of your weekend with Dieter, interrupting the playlist streaming through the phone speaker. 
You grab your phone to check who the message is from…
Mom ❤️: Hey Sweetheart! Let me know when you’re heading over. Going to sit by the pool for a bit until then. This place is beautiful, I might not ever leave! Talk to you soon!
The music promptly picks back up again with its uptempo beat, you connect your phone to your speakers in the living room, the words floating brightly in the background as you will yourself out of bed. 
In route to a much needed cup of coffee, you pull on the fuzzy warm jacket that seems to have established itself as an essential element in your daily life, dropping your phone in its cavernous pocket before bringing the fleecy fabric to your face for a brief moment. It’s a cognitive experience, the inhalation of the still drenched in his signature Dieter-musk, making your insides gooey and flustered. 
‘Ooh, I lose control, can't seem to get enough, uh-huh
When I wake from dreaming, tell me is it really love?’
You chuckle into your cup as you take that first sip, the words a flawless depiction, and complete coincidence of every morning this week. 
A quick text back to your mom to fill her in on the day’s plans. 
Poppy: Hi Mom! Had a bit of a slow morning, but I’m up and moving now! Going to shower and get ready. I thought we could go to this new sandwich shop that just opened. I've been wanting to try it. I’ll text you when I’m on my way to the hotel. Love you
Your mom had gotten in late last night, still having not seen her yet. Diem was so kind to put her up in the Capri for the weekend, your mom insisting she didn’t want to intrude and give you space. 
It was her first time visiting since you had moved, but not her first time to Ojai. She had visited on numerous occasions in her travels before having you, it was usually a brief stop for a few hours to grab a quick bite and then off to her next stop. 
As a child, you would spend hours browsing through her endless collection of photo albums, dreaming up your own stories about visiting her favorite places— grainy Kodak Portra 160 was her film of choice, the color grading and light leaks adding to the cinematized scenes. There was something alluring about Ojai, always spending a little extra time with those images, it had become your ‘one day I am going to move there’ place. So, when you had started actually considering moving, your mind instantly went to Ojai— it was a no-brainer this was the place you were meant to set your roots in. 
A slow sip of the ambered liquid trickles down your throat, its atomic structure hitting every nerve as it slowly expands in your veins, giving you the ample amount of energy to keep you from crawling right back in bed. 
A thrumming piano tune dances across the room, instantaneously reliving the moment you coerced Dieter to add it to your growing playlist, selfishly you hope the familiar high falsetto voice evokes the same memory for Dieter as it does for you when he shuffles through the songs. 
Just a small town girl
Livin' in a lonely world
She took the midnight train going anywhere
Just a city boy
Born and raised in South Detroit
He took the midnight train going anywhere
*
-Sunday Afternoon-
“Add. The. Song. Dieter!” A purely joking dramatic version of yourself pleads with him, you sense the song isn’t a front-runner for Dieter, but you’re enjoying the banter it’s causing. 
The popular chorus continues roaring through the living room where you’ve both been camped out for the last hour, switching off listening to music on bith your record player and Dieter’s Spotify account.
It felt silly when you suggested you both should create a compilation of songs that you could listen to and think of the other person— complete cheeseball move. It was reminiscent of junior high when you would download songs off shady sites and then burn the perfect cd mix for your crush, labeling it— I really like you but I’m not good with words, so here’s some songs instead— the cover art hand drawn sharpie doodles and emo quotes that could bring a 15 year old girl in love to tears. Being it was modern times, Dieter opted for a playlist of top favorite songs between the two of you, dubbing it ‘Dieter’s & Poppy’s Mix Tape.’
He wants to engrain this scene in his mind forever, your naked form cloaked in his beloved brown jacket, dancing around your living room, belting the lyrics in the most out of tune way. 
“Streetlights, people!— Dieter, please! You said our favorite songs— this would be a favorite of mine! Add the damn song!!” 
“This— This is your favorite song? It’s like the most overplayed karaoke song in the history of music” His cocked eyebrow as he holds his phone with the Spotify app open in his lap, finding it hard to hold off his growing smirk and not surprised in the least that it’s a top pick for you. 
“I’ll have you know, I am the reigning Karaoke Queen, west of the Mississippi River— you're in the presence of royalty, Babe. Don't stop believin' Hold on to that feelin'!” Grabbing another slice of cold pizza from the half eaten box on the coffee table, you continue twirling about on your tippy toes, maintaining your off-key singing between bites. 
“Something tells me your full of shit. Fine— It’s added. But I’m adding ‘You Need to Calm Down’ for tax.”
“I need to do what?” Your twirling ceases, the bottom of his jacket swaying about as you watch the way he stares down at his phone, fingers pecking at the screen. 
“No— it’s a song. According to Wren, “it’s a Taylor Swift masterpiece!’” His air quotes and deadpan expression almost take you out. 
“Never would have pegged you as a Swiftie, but I love it.”
“Well, it’s all she wants to listen to on the drive to school. I can’t help it if i know every word to almost every song.”
The next song plays through, Dieter continues to watch you from his spot on the couch, loving the carefree manner in which you move, your infectious smile on display as you sing along to a song you definitely do not know a single word to, eyes closed and arms stretched out letting the chorus fully envelop your mind— this whole moment solidifying his love for you. 
He brings his phone up and snaps a few pictures, each image progressively blurrier as he tries to capture you dancing, his last attempt is more or less successful, the timing just right and the result an accurate depiction of how he wants look back on this time together— a flash of your beaming smile that causes your eyes to crinkle at the edges and your audacious desire to be completely yourself in front of him is a picture worth taking. 
“Are you taking a picture of me?” Breathless and smiling. 
“Guilty. I need something to remember this day while I’m away.”
“Okay, but take a better one then.” 
Grabbing his sunglasses off the table to situate them on your face, your bare leg crossed over and kicked out to the side in an ameture Radio City Rockette fashion, middle fingers erect while your hands cover your now exposed breasts, a one-sided nose scrunch and curled lip with some semblance of a smile, all while the remaining slice of your pizza dangles from your mouth. 
“Beautiful, just like the other ones.” His chest vibrates at the sight of you, he pats his thighs motioning for you to come over to where he’s seated. “Alright Karaoke Queen, get your sexy little Believin’ ass over here!” 
Tossing your crust back into the pizza box, you skip-hop over to him, your knees sinking into the cushions of the couch as you straddle his boxer clad lap. His hands sliding under where his Jacket is splayed open, his warm touch glides over your thighs. 
“Let me see— the others, please.” You ask timidly, not sure what ‘others’ entails, pulling his sunglasses off and tossing them to the side. 
His thumb swipes and presses across his phone screen, then hands you an open folder of images, tiny intimate squares fill the screen. You click on the most recent ones of you here in your home, laughing at how ridiculous you think you look, glancing up to see Dieter’s head tilted to the side and his gaze fixed on you. Refocusing on his phone, you start swiping, so many images of times you had spent together, except you're the main focus of each photo, very much unaware of your photo being taken. 
There was the afternoon spent baking cupcakes for no reason other than they sounded delicious. Flour covering the surface of the counter, while you and Wren laugh at something completely unrelated to the making of said cupcakes— equal amounts of flour coating both your hands and faces. 
There’s the backyard dinner Diem had invited you over for. You were seated across from where Dieter and Diem were sitting, listening intently to something she was saying. The sun warm against your back as it had started its descent, your elbow propped on the table and chin resting on your hand, your attention focused on every aspect of the conversation. 
The first evening Dieter and Wren had attended your art class together, a few of you talking about something art related and then a couple of you actually painting and drawing— your face naturally lighting up at you sharing art with others. 
Each swipe revealed another image, so many of you smiling while looking off at whatever had your attention, full body laughs shared with someone out of frame, deep in thought or absorbed into something you were reading or looking at on your phone. 
Seeing your life candidly curated in a digital collection of photos has so many emotions whirling through your mind, love being the most prominent one. 
Your breath hitches when you scroll to the last image in the folder.
You're at the front of your classroom, a stack of papers tucked against your chest as your smile beams out to your class. You note your outfit isn’t your usual uniform, you're wearing your favorite band tee, jeans and sneakers— it’s the morning you were late and Dieter stepped in to help you out, bringing a sense of ease to your disarray of a morning. 
“I think that was one of the moments I knew.” Dieter’s smoky voice cuts into the air, pointing at the image you’ve been studying a little longer than the others.
“Knew what?” Looking up from the phone to see his chestnut eyes twinkling with adoration, his hands gently rubbing against your hips. 
“Knew that I needed you in my life, however that was.” 
“There were others?”
“Your art class was another.”
There’s a beat of silence between you, the start of the next song picking up its pace. 
“Do you ever imagine what it would be like if we would have met each other sooner than we did?” Something you’ve thought about at times, wishing you had more time with him, maybe if you had met sooner. Your fingers trace along the ridge of his collarbone as you wait for his answer. 
“No— you would have definitely deserved better than who I was back then. You would have hated the thought of being in the same room as me.” 
He wouldn’t have been anything close to who he is now, grateful you were never fully subjected to the asshole he used to be. 
Your hand settles on his bare chest, right where his heart is beating fiercely.
“I deserve you now though. And I definitely want to be in every room you walk into.” 
‘Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face, and I
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones And I will try to fix you’
Your lips meet his in an unhurried embrace, Dieter pulling your lower body closer to his, his fingers digging into the meat of your backside when your hips start to gradually begin to grind against him, his cock hardening with each brush of your wet cunt. 
His hands create their own intimate paths over your body, one traveling up the length of your spine, the other moving to the underside of your breast, cupping the supple weight of it in his palm. A swipe of his thumb over your sensitive nipple has you gasping into his mouth, the catalyst for your silent plea for more— and he hears it loud and clear. 
His hands. His mouth. His cock— all working in perfect, articulate motions. Until you’re succumbing to the culmination of purposeful exertion and precise execution. 
The last 48 hours were spent with Dieter's departure looming in the background of your minds, not allowing yourselves to stew on the impending heartache that was to come the moment you said your goodbyes. 
Between the hours of relaxed conversations and alleviating desirous needs, you both managed to get through the weekend with a strong sense of optimism about the future. A shared commitment to each other, with endless promises of check-ins whenever possible and working out a plan to see each other once Dieter had his schedule set, it was enough to keep the sadness at bay— it gave you something to look forward to. 
The afternoon slowly began to bleed into your final evening together, tangled limbs and intimate memories treated with exactness, fueling hushed whispers of ‘I love yous’ embedding themselves into every single part of your soul. 
*
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK 
You hadn’t been expecting anyone, the rapid knock on your front door was a complete surprise. 
After confirming your name with the sweet delivery lady, she hands off the beautiful dried floral arrangement, mentioning a card was tucked into the center, wishing you a great rest of your day before driving away. 
You had never seen anything like it before, an incredible assortment of dried flowers, stems and oversized leaves arranged meticulously in a ceramic vase. 
Placing the flowers on the kitchen counter, you pull the small card from it, reading the small written note:
Poppy, I’m so proud of you! You’re so talented and I can’t wait to hear how tonight goes. Love you, Dieter
You smile at his thoughtfulness, missing him so much and needing to hear his voice desperately. 
Pulling your phone from the coat pocket, you dial his number and hope there’s a chance you catch him at a good time. 
“Hello.” There’s warmth in the way his voice cracks through the phone. 
“Hi. I just got the flowers— they’re absolutely beautiful, Dieter. Thank you!” 
“I can’t take full credit. Nessa, my assistant, said you might like them, something about them lasting forever. Anyways, she set up the order while I was in a meeting.” 
“Well, I’ll have to thank her at some point then.” There’s some static carrying through the line as you continue your conversation.
“How are you feeling about today?” 
“Good. Just finally pulled myself out of bed. Going to get dressed, then have lunch with my mom before I get ready for tonight. I miss you, Dieter.” 
There’s a brief moment where it sounds like the call cuts out, looking at the screen you see it’s still counting up the call minutes, still connected. 
“I— you too. ‘Ant wait— it goes….”
“Dieter?…Hello? Babe, your phone keeps cutting out.”
*Call Dropped* 
The connection was lost, conversation cut short, staring at a now black phone screen. 
Poppy💐: Your service must be shitty or something, couldn’t hear most of what you were saying. Call me when you can. Love you 💜
You attach a photo of the flowers along with your message. Knowing if he was in a bad service area, you wouldn’t be getting an immediate response, so you take that as your cue to get yourself ready. 
Poppy: Getting dressed! Should be leaving here in 20 minutes. See you in a bit mom! 😘 
*
Your mom’s presence was exactly what you needed today. Seeing her sitting across from you now makes you feel less overwhelmed by the fact that your boyfriend isn’t here and you’re hours away from sharing this passion project of yours, something so intimate and personal, with a room full of art loving strangers.
But even in her presence, you still find your mind wandering— Dieter being the central character of your deviating thoughts— even things outside your home, the smallest of details, reminding you of him in some way. 
Bart’s across the street, a favorite spot for both of you, especially after the talk you both shared coming to an understanding and moving forward together with a new perspective on each other.
Someone walking by, where your mom and you are sitting together on the restaurant patio, was carrying a merchant bag from a store you had bought Dieter’s birthday present. There was a gold colored velvet button up shirt cover in a large geometric print that you had seen while out shopping with Diem one weekend, she had made the offhand comment that it was totally something Dieter would wear and when you had found out a few days later that Dieter’s birthday was the following weekend, you immediately went back to buy it for him. 
You had also thrown in a pair of tiny Frozen charms, Elsa for Wren and Olaf for Dieter, for the Crocs you had seen him wear around Diem’s house on movie nights, in the chance he hated the shirt you knew he was a sucker for kitschy gifts— by the way he wears the shirt regularly, it’s fair to assume he likes it. 
You even think of him in the most laughable ways too, like when a car similar to his drives by the restaurant, you of course immediately think of him— you find yourself to be a lost cause at this point. 
“I’m so sorry, Sweetheart, I’m sure Dieter would love to be here if he could. Aside from him leaving, how was the rest of the week after he left?” 
“Hmm?” 
“I asked how’s your week been? We haven’t talked much since last week.” 
“Oh my gosh, Mom! I’m so sorry— I’m literally the worst person to be around right now, I’m sure. I’ve been so in my head lately, I can’t even think straight.” You cover your face as you apologize for being lackluster company to her, realizing you’ve spent most of lunch off in La-La-Land. 
“My week was good though. With summer break starting last week, I spent most of this wrapping up last minute grading and finishing up paperwork. Monday and Tuesday I went to clean up my classroom, just mainly clearing out old projects and lesson plans from the past year. Which then left me the rest of the week to get my canvases prepared and hung up over at Reverie, where the art opening is tonight.”
“Sounds like it’s kept your mind off of Dieter not being able to be there tonight.” She gives you a sympathetic look, and it makes you feel so appreciative that she flew out to be here for you. 
“If I’m being honest, it really hasn’t. I just selfishly keep wishing he didn’t have leave so I could have more time with him. And then I hate myself for even thinking that, because I’m so happy and proud of him— he deserves this, I just miss him so much. We’ve tried to talk and FaceTime when we can, but his schedule right now has been busy, so I just sit and wait for him to call most evenings. God, I sound ridiculous!” A slight crack to your voice as you’re overcome with emotion, it’s sadness and happiness all wrapped up in a perfect little box sitting in your chest, lifting your chin up as you fight back the tears that threaten to break. 
“Oh, honey.” She passes you a few clean napkins, noticing the few tears that managed to escape. “Maybe give him a call in a bit, I’m sure hearing his voice will help you feel better.”
“Yeah, I’ll give him a call when I get home. Thanks mom. I’m so glad you’re here! Let’s talk about something else, bring the mood back up. How’s retirement going?” Changing the subject to hopefully suppress your mopey demeanor, dabbing your wet cheeks lightly. 
“Oh, it’s great! I’ve actually been thinking about doing some traveling now that I have all this time.” 
“I love that for you mom. You should go, see the world— you deserve it.” 
She shared about the places she had already started planning to visit— in and around Canada, parts of Europe, then several areas of South America. You greedily wished she didn’t want to go, feeling a steady wave of emotions rock through you at the thought of her being gone for so long. But, you know how much traveling means to her, it’s pure joy watching the way she can’t stop smiling as she shows you landmark places she’ll be visiting— a true testament to chase after the things you love. 
*
Doubt. 
Fear. 
Trepidation. 
A war of anxieties. Ruthless, belligerent intruders, battling for control and power. Your mind slowly forfeits, white flag in waiting, ready to surrender yourself to the helm of your own enemies. 
Even with the excitement surrounding tonight, you hadn’t really mastered the art of calming intrusive thoughts and apprehension once they began to build their way into your consciousness.
There’s the brief moment where you consider getting back into your car and driving home— rid yourself of the stress and anxiety that is overcoming you at the thought of being the center of attention tonight— albeit your art the main focus, but with that will come talking about yourself and it has you ready to bail. 
But, you had put so much time and effort into this collection, executing and curating an intimate journey of discovery in the form of detailed lines and brush strokes that make up a whole series of paintings you are incredibly proud of. 
Breathe. 
In. 
Out. 
Dieter comes to mind, the words he shared with you before he left: 
“You were made for this, it’s who you are and it’s what you know— don’t let you be the reason you stop chasing what you deserve. I believe in everything you do, you should too.” 
His words wash over you, each one forging a path for you to conquer your reluctance to seek out something that you have always dreamed of doing. 
You pull out your phone to shoot Dieter a quick text before heading into the gallery. 
Poppy💐: Hi! I miss you and wish you were here ❤. Hope you had a great day. I’ll have Diem take pictures to send you later. Call me when you can. Love you xo
Remembering back to when  Dieter had shared something he does when his anxiety starts to surface, deciding to take a minute to borrow his technique to help ground your thoughts. 
You see the vibrant lights from the front windows of Reverie Studio, the way the moon is peeking out from behind the building making its way through the sky, the streak of lights from headlights of passing cars, blurred bodies of people milling around the streets unbothered by you rooted in the center of the sidewalk, the time stamped over an image of you and Dieter as the lock screen on your phone. 
You feel the weight of your phone leaving your hand as you drop it in your purse, the flowy dress that you picked out with Diem a few weeks ago specifically for this evening, a folded piece of paper with notes for the small speech you were going to give, a good luck charm in the form of Dieter’s 1 year chip clutched tightly into your hand. 
You hear the muted chatter of the early birds spilling from the open door of the gallery, the mingling musical instruments in the local park showering concert goers with an original melodic song, an indistinguishable mix of hello’s and goodbye’s wrapped around gossip filled phone conversations. 
You smell the sweet-vanilla-waffle confections of the little ice cream shop that stays open late during the summer, a hint of a smokey musk dusting the air reminding you of the woody spicy that’s so distinctly Dieter. 
You taste the delicate flavors of a savory future, one that has a palatable balance of sweetness and verve— something so delectable that you don’t think you’ll be able to stop reveling in its richness. 
BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ
Your immediate thought is it’s Dieter, pulling out your phone to see it’s instead Diem. 
Diem: Are you going to stand out there all night?? Get your ass in here!
She’s standing in the window with Wren on her hip, both of them waving at you. 
Feeling a somewhat renewed sense of confidence, you wait for a break in the passing cars and jog across the street to join the crowd already forming inside. 
You’re completely taken aback once you’re through the front door, not by the overwhelming number of people who showed up to view your work, but by how the room is filled with a plethora of vases overflowing with poppies. 
The edges of the room, table tops, display pedestals all covered in a sea of pinks, oranges and pale yellow flowers. 
“So glad you could show up!” Diem and Wren wrap you in a joint hug, a warm greeting with a touch of her special sarcasm. 
“Where did all these flowers come from? They weren’t here yesterday when I stopped in to do some final touches.”
“A certain someone might have wanted to surprise you with something special.”
There’s an immediate pang in your chest, his thoughtfulness and his way of showing support by filling the studio space with your favorite flowers, you have to actively fight off the urge to cry tears of happiness. 
You snap a few photos, focusing on the ones that sit below where your canvases are hung on the fabricated display walls. 
You can’t contain the smile plastered across your face, seeing your work being admired by those in attendance, getting a chance to catch up with friends and fellow artists and having your mom close by listening to her talk up your talent with complete strangers— all still while wishing Dieter were here bask in the excitement with you. 
“If I could have everyone’s attention please.” The owners ask, the room’s noise quickly reduced to a curbed level. “We thank everyone for coming to show their support for this wonderful event. We’ll have her share more about it with you and then we’d like to say a few words afterwards.” 
Applause breaches the silence as you’re beckoned to the center of the room, your paper of scribbled notes in one hand and Dieter’s chip in the other, making your way to the front of the mass of people. 
You introduce yourself as you take in all the faces, some familiar and some new, Diem and your mom in a side embrace with Wren to the front of them, each person enthralled and eager to hear you share more about you and the art behind you. 
“Art has always been a part of me, in so many different ways. Growing up I would tear apart my mom’s magazines to make collages of pretty pictures, sorry mom.” Glancing down at your paper as a wave of soft laughter filters around, it elicits a surge of excitement and sureness blooms somewhere deep in your soul, deciding to for-go reading anything you had written and just share from the heart. 
“And then I got my first sketchbook, that thing never left my side. Always with me at school, trips to the grocery store and even on days when my mom worked late, I’d sit in the corner of her classroom and just draw— creating little scenes from memory. I filled the pages rather quickly too, pages were barely hanging on with the amount of wear and tear I had put it through. Before I knew it, I had amassed a collection of sketchbooks and canvases over the years. Art has always been a part of who I am and I think it always will be.”
Everyone seemed so fascinated by everything you’re sharing. Explaining the story behind your collection— starting as a literal dream and slowly becoming a now etched on canvas reality. 
Even the collaborative piece with Dieter is hung among the others, you went the extra step to add his name onto the little artist placard:
Artists: Dieter & Poppy
Title: ‘Sweet Creature’
Medium: Acrylic on Canvas
$: (Not For Sale)
“Thank you all for taking the time out of your busy schedules to be here tonight, I appreciate it so very much, I’ll be around the rest of the evening to chat more or answer any questions. And thank you to Reviere Studio, you’ve become like a second home to me. I’m so grateful that I had the opportunity to share my love for the arts with the many who attended my classes in this very space, but also to be the last art showing truly means so much to me. I will miss you all.”
Another round of applause and cheers fill the open space. You feel like it went pretty well for how nervous you were earlier in the evening, not really sure why you were doubting yourself to begin with. 
The crowd slowly starts to disperse as you start to weave to where Diem, your mom and Wren are standing, getting stopped for hugs and hellos from former class attendees, congratulatory remarks for complete strangers too— you’re even shocked when Betty and Marilyn stop to share their well wishes with you. 
“I’m so proud of you sweetheart, it’s all so amazing!” Your mom wraps you in praises and a tight hug. 
“Thank you mom, I’m so happy you could be here!”
“I’m happy to be here too!” Wren’s excitement is barely containable as she bounces off the floor. 
“I’m so happy you’re here too Wren!” You tell her as you bend down to give her a hug as well. 
Standing back to your full height, you turn to Diem and just wrap your arms around her shoulders and hold her close, she returns the same energy. 
“Thank you so much for everything, you are literally the best friend I could have ever asked for. I love you so much Diem!” 
“God dammit, Poppy! I didn’t wear any waterproof mascara because I wasn’t planning on crying tonight! I love you too!” She pulls away and starts fanning her face, drying up the tears that had started to fill her eyes. 
“Excuse me! We have a quick, exciting announcement to make before the evening continues with drinks and appetizers.” The sweet owner Susi’s voice boomed out to the guests. 
*
Dieter doesn’t like lying, not in general at least and especially not to you— open and honest is how he continues to move forward with his life. 
But this doesn’t feel like a lie, in a sense. A secret. A surprise. 
Taking this role meant sacrificing his time away and that terrified him, especially being his first project to jump back into. 
After a call with his agent on the drive back to LA Monday morning and a check in with his sponsor,  Dieter requested a meeting with the movie’s higher ups. 
That meeting didn’t happen until a few days later, but when he found out filming would be held in and around LA, Dieter learned his request for weekends to travel back to Ojai was successful. 
That gave him less than 24 hours to get flowers ordered to be delivered to the gallery, let Diem in on his plan to ensure everything was in motion, all while you had no idea what was happening. 
Dieter settles in the back of the crowd, tucked out of sight, finding it difficult to keep his eyes off you as you stand up there. 
Watching you share about your life and how art has always been a big part of it, the two of you so similar in many ways makes him feel a deeper connection to you. 
He recognizes the paper you’ve started crumpled into your hand, worn and creased from the repetitive folding and unfolding, scarred by the cross-hatching over abandoned words or shelved sentences, bullet points of importance to add substance to your speech. He likes the version you who was pacing around her living room Sunday morning, paper in one hand and pen in the other, reciting each line with a fluctuating ambivalent tone, stopping intermittently at the coffee table to rework a line or add something he had suggested. But he loves this version of you standing before him right now, no hesitation in your words, speaking with certainty and feeling— you were more than prepared. 
The way you wear your confidence stirs something inside of him— trying his best to keep a low profile, because all he wants to do is scoop you up and kiss you breathless, to tell you over and over, how perfect and amazing he thinks you are.
He notices the light catching something you’re intently smoothing your fingers over, tracing repeatedly over every word— It’s not going to be easy, but it’s going to be worth it— engraved on his 1 year chip, a habit he’s welcomed into his daily routine. You had refused to take it from him when he offered it, not wanting him to be without it longer than necessary, but he had vowed to take it back the moment you were reunited. Placing it in your palm, hinting at the streak of luck it had brought him over the past year, ensuring that it would do the same for you— but he knew you wouldn’t need any.
He wants more of this— more time with you. To feel immersed back into this normal paced life and experience the joys that you feel regularly. 
He has to shuffle himself around a bit when the crowd starts to move about, still trying to not be seen, watching you celebrate post speech with your mom, Diem and Wren— eagerly wanting to do the same. 
The gallery owner’s announcement signals the beginning of something exciting. 
He just hopes you’re as ecstatic about what’s about to be revealed as he is. 
*
Susi takes a moment for everyone to quiet down and focus their attention on her before continuing her speech. 
“Earlier this year, we had made the difficult decision to close our doors— deciding it was time to seek out a new chapter with new adventures and close this chapter on Reverie Studio.”
You’re sandwiched between Diem and your mom, hands intertwined as your head rests on Diem’s shoulder, somber as Susi’s heartfelt words about the studio’s closing. 
“But we have some exciting news to share with you all. The gallery and studio are now under new ownership and will continue to stay open. It will be under a new name, but will still retain what Reverie had previously been known for— classes, art openings, studio space. And while we’re sad to hand it over, we’re excited to see it continue to serve the community.”
The delighted commotion pours out into the streets, catching the attention of passersby’s curiosity. 
“So, we welcome you to the new home of Les Coquelicots Studio. The new owner is somewhere here in the audience too.” Heads begin to turn, seeking out where this mysterious owner is, when Susi points towards the back of the room and waves. “Ah, there he is. Please be sure to make him feel welcome and thank him before you leave. Thank you all again for coming and have a wonderful rest of the night.”
Music begins to brim over the conversations that start to pick up, guests dispersing to fill their small plates with finger foods and refilling of drinks, ambling about observing your artwork and surrounding art pieces. 
But you're too focused on the fact that you had no idea that the space wasn’t closing, as you continue turning about scanning the room for the new owner. 
Everything stills. 
No sound. 
No horde of people. 
Just him. 
Dieter Bravo. 
All Dieter-like too, leaning against the back wall, hands secure in his pockets, the slightest tick of his jaw punctuating his dimple. 
Your brain is actively working to re-hardwire your body to function properly, but you’re motionless. Speechless. 
He’s here, propelling himself forward and making his way to you, even as he stands before you, it doesn’t feel real. 
“Surprise.” His voice nearly takes you out, it hasn’t been that long since you had last spoken, but you’ve missed its gravely tone so much. 
“What are you doing here? I thought— I don’t know what I thought because I can’t think straight at the moment. How are you here?” Dizzy with total surprise and confusion. 
He leans in, laughing at your flustered smile, hands slinking their way to your face, his touch charged with fervor as his thumbs sweep over the apples of your cheeks. 
“Came to see my girl.” He smiles softly, his words a breath away from where you want him most. 
You close the distance between you, his lips fitting perfectly against yours, unbothered by the room full of people around you. You knew you would never get that same feeling or experience like with your first kiss, but this is second best and you welcome it fully. 
Before the kiss has a chance to turn into something more than what is appropriate for the setting, you pull away, resting your forehead on his, breathless and happy. 
“It’s you isn’t it— You bought this place?” The answer is clear as you look into his warm eyes. 
“I did.”
“Les Coquelicots? Monet’s painting?” 
“Poppies.” 
This is it. Your forever. With him. Always. 
“I know how much this place means to you, think of it as a thank you— for giving me a chance, for believing in me.” 
“You didn’t have to buy me an art gallery as a thank you, dinner would have been fine.” Your fingers catching the rampant tears streaming down your cheeks, emitting a breathy laugh. 
“We can go to dinner after this then.” His words mumbled in a kiss against your forehead. 
“You still didn’t answer my question— How are you here? What about your movie?” 
“When I found out we would be shooting locally in LA, I told them I had one request— that I was able to go home every weekend if I wasn’t needed on set.” 
“But your home is already there?”
“I’m selling my home in West Hollywood— my realtor is getting it ready to be listed next week, hopefully moved out by the end of the month. So I can move home.” 
It goes without saying that you know what he means, but you want to hear him say it out loud.
“Do you mean here? You’ll be moving here?” 
He nods his head in response.
“What if this place gets too boring for a big movie star like yourself?” Biting your lip with a hint of a smile. 
“Poppy— wherever I go, you bring me home.” 
The kiss is short, but full of a warmth you crave when he’s in your presence, your arms linking around his neck as he pulls flush against, white knuckle grip on your hips— the two you lost in each other as the work around you carries on. 
“Hmm— so, you’re gonna move in with Diem permanently?” 
“Nah, I’ll find some place eventually.” He winks, no real rush to move in together, but he sees it as an option at some point in the future. 
“Well, if you’re over living with your sister, I have a comfortable couch with your name all over it.” You snort at your offer. 
“Poppy, I’m not sleeping on your fucking couch.”
“Suit yourself then.” You mirror his wink before pulling him in for another string of small pecks. 
“I love you, Dieter.”
“I love you too, Poppy”
Next
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magicalrocketships · 6 months
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☔Is there a fic concept you have that you'd like to just explain and share because you're not sure you'll ever write it? If so, what is it?
Oh, I'm sure I've talked about this before but L U C K I L Y I retain zero information, particularly when I'm tired, so this means I get to explain it again.
SO, the plot which I won't ever write because it gets pretty dark and it also requires me to make up an injury (I got the idea from the first series of Chicago Fire, where the dude whose name I've forgotten (no, really, I retain no information anymore) has a life-changing made-up ?neck? injury where he requires surgery and it will take one year+ to recover from the surgery so he self-medicates and then it's miraculously fixed by a dazzling new surgery in one episode after making it an entire plot for an entire season):
Canon divergence somewhere along the way, maybe the pandemic doesn't happen, maybe he never really got as publicly involved in streaming, whatever, but what's key is that Max doesn't have anything really going on outside of racing and it's this year
So Daniel's left RB/Mcl, and Max is focused focused focused on racing and maybe he gets his first world championship a year earlier but whatever happens, he doesn't build that strong sense of home outside of racing (no cats, no partner, no online streaming, just what's becoming an unhealthy focus on racing and winning at all costs)
Then there's an accident. It happens off-track, so it's not a racing incident, and it's not Max's fault. His car gets hit. And Max is injured. He breaks something in his neck (I am assured this injury does not exist in the manner employed by Chicago Fire. For the purpose of this imaginary not-to-be-written fic, it 100% exists).
Max is told he can't race, maybe forever, but likely for at least a year post surgery
(and at this point I'm just going to c&p from the chat fic doc I saved months and months ago, and it's going under a cut with a content warning here for suicidal thoughts, some mention of disordered eating and childhood abuse, look after yourself, pals)
surviving to drive: the max verstappen recovery story (~3k)
Anyway max realises that he has exactly one (1) thing in his life, racing, and it's just come crashing down and he's v emotionally unhealthy as we know and has nothing else going on so when he loses racing he believes there is literally no other reason to keep going plus he's in hospital
anyway daniel ignores all of max's emotionally unhealthy bans on hospital visitors and sneaks in to see him and he's like... "something is very wrong here"
he leaves and max thinks he's chased him away but then daniel comes back later that day and he's like, "you don't have to have the surgery in this hospital, you can have it done in any of these places *presents a list* so pick a place and we'll go there instead"
so yeah they just go somewhere else and daniel rents them a house and just hangs out with a secretly suicidal max who sees precisely no reason to wake up every morning if he's not racing
and daniel has precisely zero idea that max is still here/alive/whatever just because daniel is there every night and every morning and max doesn't want daniel to have to see him like that
ANYWAY max is very clearly not in a good place and his dad sends him messages telling him how he can improve his recovery and get better faster
it becomes more difficult for max to hide the fact that he's alive mostly by virtue of not being dead right now
and he's had the surgery or whatever and he's looking at a 12 month recovery so he's definitely out for the whole of the next season so daniel's like, "It doesn't matter how long recovery takes, take your time" which of course he has precisely zero idea of how to deal with since he's been racing so long and has nothing else in his life
Something happens idk he breaks a glass and Daniel finds him with cut hands and a piece of glass idk and Daniel's like, "a new crisis! I can help with that! this is clearly not something that max has been dealing with daily for weeks now, it's a new thing!"
so he's like, IT'S THERAPY TIME BABY, no more clutching a handful of broken glass and bleeding everywhere, superdaniel is here to help
yada yada finds max a therapist and max HATES IT, HAAAAATES IT, he's uncomfortable and the therapist makes him feel worse and he still wants to like... not be here if he can't race today, he can't wait a whole year
and daniel asks him how it's going and Max lies because why wouldn't he and he's been doing miserable things his entire life that he didn't want to do so what's another thing on top of everything else
meanwhile Daniel's like... hmmmm this is scary Max looks worse
and he sits in on a therapy session and half way through he's like, "nope, we're ending this, sorry, bye, you can have the money for the whole hour but we're never speaking to you again"
points out to Max that that therapist was awful and why didn't Max just tell him how awful it was and how it made him feel
Max, who's never had a choice over anything in his entire life: "..."
anyway he gets max to try another couple of therapists and in the end there's one who is NOT monstrously awful and does not make Max feel like he wants to scratch his own skin off
so Max gets THERAPY and it becomes clear that max's childhood was weaponised beyond belief and he doesn't even know what foods he likes and doesn't like
because he never got a choice and he was always on some kind of food plan that his dad could withhold or not according to how max was doing in every other area of his life
well of course, he gets a whole year of therapy and it turns out his dad was an abusive asshole and he is BLOCKED from Max's phone
and Max has to do things like "make sure his life has more than just racing in it"
so he reads a book
the first one he's ever read
he tries food and tries to figure out if he likes it or if it's just a source of energy he has to eat anyway
he gets a PLANT
it DIES
anyway whatever he gets therapy and he lives in a house with daniel and is allowed to feel some things because he never really felt anything before
and daniel goes off and does some promo stuff idk and films some shit from the house and max is maybe in the background or something and no one's heard from him in ages and in fandom it's all like MAX IS IN DANIEL'S HOUSE etc
and the drive to survive people get in touch and are like, can we interview you for the series even if you're not on the grid, do some stuff about your recovery etc etc
and max is like... i guess
he's not, like, actively suicidal any more because his life has actual pillars of stuff that isn't just racing
his life isn't just like dependent on one jenga tower of racing with the pieces falling down
like, he can't wait to get back to racing but he's like, six months in to therapy or whatever and he's been living with daniel and it's... nice to just... watch movies with him and eat stuff and play computer games (daniel banned racing games so max has had to... compromise)
and maybe there are some... warm feelings
some best friend shit when he's never had real time for a best friend
some "i could probably spend more time with daniel in a forever kind of a way and not get tired of it" you know
BUT ALSO, daniel blowing up his life for max, he saw max in that hospital room and didn't once question what it would mean to him to step back and just... fuck shit up so that max would be okay
anyway drive to survive team show up and they do a bit of interviewing and it is VERY CLEAR that this isn't a natural fit for an episode because Max has, for once, got some shit to say
so they come back with an idea for a spin off documentary that's just Max and this injury and getting back to driving
because Daniel has kind of been fielding red bull this whole time, saying "he's not racing this year, leave him alone, give him some space", and he's got to go out and talk to them or do some promo stuff with them, whatever, he's going away
Max says the timing is good because he can do the main body of the interviewing about what's come before etc, then Daniel can come back and do his bits
and then the docu team are like, "where do you think you'd be right now if you hadn't crashed" and Max looks at the camera and says, "dead, I think" and the team know they're on to a winner because Max has realised that actually, driving like you don't care if you're alive if you don't win isn't actually okay
anyway Max does the documentary interviews and Daniel comes back and Max tells him he can talk about whatever he wants, it's fine but when the team ask him about helping Max when he realised he wasn't coping, Daniel won't give any details and says it's Max's story to tell and he just wanted to make sure his best friend was okay
not realising that he looks very much in love during this idk
ANYWAY SOME TIME PASSES and they do a bit more documentary stuff and Max is preparing to race again and Daniel is doing some stuff with red bull and he flies out somewhere to do an interview and photoshoot for some magazine or other.
The first clips from the documentary are released and they're on youtube and clipped up for instagram and Max posts them but the first picture is just like, 'this contains discussion of suicidal thoughts' etc
Daniel is preparing for this photoshoot and interview
anyway the first clip is about Max in hospital and they go straight in for the kill, Max saying, "I didn't want to live if I couldn't race.
"I didn't want to see anyone, I didn't want to speak to anyone, I shouted at the nurses, I just wanted to get somewhere so I could figure out how not to wake up again. And then Daniel walked in.
"He didn't know how bad it was, he didn't know anything specific, but he knew something was wrong and he got me out of there and he brought me here and got my surgery moved. And he didn't know he saved my life that day. He won't know until he sees this. But he saved my life that day."
END OF CLIP ONE, start of clip two
"You were suicidal," the interviewer says
"Yes," Max says. "The only thing that stopped me was that I didn't want Daniel to find me. He'd moved me to a different hospital and he'd rented this place for us so it was close to the doctors, and every day I woke up and he never knew that he kept me alive just by being here."
"But he found out in the end."
"Not how bad it was. Just that it was bad. And he got me help. And when that help didn't work, he got me more help. He's the best friend I've ever had, and I still haven't been able to tell him how bad it got."
end of clip two, start of clip three
except this clip is DANIEL
"I snuck in to see him in hospital. he wasn't doing great. He was kind of lost, and I didn't really know what I could do, but, like, I figured he needed some space so I got him some. Different hospital, different views, nothing to remind him about racing."
"But he was struggling?"
"Yeah," Daniel says. "He struggled. It was hard to see him when he couldn't race. He's my best friend. It was hard when he wasn't doing so well. But he's doing great now."
smile smile etc Daniel being happy
then a final max clip i think
"Do I still have that drive to win? God, yes. I'm going to win. That hasn't changed. I just want to live as well. I want to wake up tomorrow, and the next day, and the one after that, and win."
then a final slide with the documentary logo on and some suicide prevention helplines, idk
ANYWAY imagine Daniel, if you will, at a photography studio about to have pictures taken, crying his eyes out in the toilets because he's just found out Max wanted to die
so Daniel, who is always very professional, entirely bails on both the photo shoot and the interview so he can go home because he needs to see max
and Max lent him his plane because that's a normal thing excessively rich world champions have so it's not a fucking nightmare getting back from... wherever the interview is, somewhere not that far away in europe
and Daniel chooses to respond to Max's documentary clips on instagram
[ASIDE, my beloved friend as I was telling her this over Telegram, in response to that above: WHY????
Me: because this is MY 4am hurt comfort fic baby]
so anyway he makes a text post that just says Max is the bravest and best person he knows, he's fought so hard to be here, and that there hasn't been a day in Daniel's whole entire life that would have been better if Max wasn't here on this planet, and he's so glad he stayed
and then another one which is like, if anyone else feels like they don't want to go on, please stay, people love you, here's some helpline numbers etc
and Max just replies to him with a blue heart
important to understand that this is my four am comfort fic so it is ENTIRELY appropriate that Daniel walks through the door and both hugs him and starts to cry
and Max hugs him back but does not cry because Max has broken through a lot of shit in therapy but he is not a crier
but he IS accidentally in love with Daniel
and Max makes some Choices in his life, as Daniel does, but this choice involves touching Daniel's cheek and glancing at his mouth and then up at Daniel and Daniel kind of nodding and then there is a KISS
which is badly timed really considering that today has been very emotional and Daniel is still crying and has been travelling etc and they've never actually addressed any of this
so Daniel needs a moment and he goes into the bathroom to stare manfully into the mirror and wash his hands and face and when he comes out Max doesn't let him say anything, just launches into a multi point in-person powerpoint about how they should be together
[my friend: maxplaining his way into a relationshippp]
which Daniel, it turns out, entirely agrees with, but he's really kind of emotionally burnt out right now and would really just like a hug and a sit down, so he tells Max yes, of course, but could they just talk about it later and hug right now
How good is Max at listening to instuctions to stop talking?
not marvellous it turns out but daniel kind of likes it when max gets enthusiastic about stuff
even if the stuff in this case is a multipoint argument in favour of them being quite gay together
OH OH OH now we skip forward a bit
to when Max is racing again
first or second race out there for red bull
and daniel is kind of tied to red bull again
anyway Max WINS
hurray etc he's a conquering hero with a recovered broken neck
so once he's out of the car idk he's done the bit with the team and he spies daniel and goes over to hug him, which the cameras in general love, and then he goes off to do some kind of next step celebratory thing, cool-down room, whatever
only partway there he's like... um
has a feeling, one or two, you know the kind of thing
max hasn't historically been very good at feelings
or healthy choices
but anyway, he decides to act on this one, which is to go back to where Daniel is, and kiss him
which is as much of a surprise to daniel as it is to the whole of the media who are still around to film him
and then Max just turns back around and heads for the podium, so there's a very nice accidental shot of Daniel, afterwards, just smiling and ducking his head and touching his thumb to his lip
which turns into a very popular gif
for reasons
Anyway!! there is a LOT of discussion about Max losing his edge now his focus is not only racing
the documentary talks a lot about Max's childhood abuse and limited food intake etc etc but doesn't mention his dad by name
Daniel races again somehow but probably not in the fic
daniel ends up losing some bet or other and has to do a computer game live stream from his living room of some cosy game idk and the whole thing is interupted by max just living his life in the background
max getting up and sleepily saying morning, max going for a run and kissing him hello, max going in and out of the sim, idk, the two of them making weird noises at each other because they still do that
OH I forgot they buy a house together like immediately after getting together
somewhere green again and it's in both their names because they've lived together for a year already and whatever
and still don't tell anyone they're together even though red bull has them residing at the same address
and ZERO people realise until after the kiss on screen
and obviously the docu clips suggest they've been staying together
and Max gets to say to Christian that they literally own a house together when he expresses some degree of surprise at kissing in public
not their fault no one noticed
Forgot to say that max and Daniel get filmed driving about and max stalls his car and doesn’t know if he likes olives and maybe they forget they’re being filmed
And also that when the documentary finally airs all its eps Netflix on Twitter are like “lol bet you can’t figure out which bits we filmed after they got together and which were before because we certainly can’t, lol”
And Daniel’s in the comments, like “do I get a prize if I get it right”
He gets 9/10 clips right but no one but max knows
Anyway when they buy their house max has zero shits to give about the decor so daniel just gets a decorator in and the only thing max wants is a fancy catio for when they’re not there and his new cats want to go outside
Daniel arranges this because he’s a sucker for max.
anyway that's general plot of surviving to drive: the max verstappen recovery story, the end.
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WIBTA if i told my friend to, essentially, count their blessings?
sorry for possibly bad english
CONTEXT: me (19 they/them) and my online friend (18 they/them). years ago we bonded over not having friends IRL. they were being bullied and i have some mental issues that make social things difficult (social anxiety, low social battery, tendency to isolate)
then things changed. i got therapy and started talking to some classmates. my friend now has an entire IRL friend group they're very close to.
but this past year was a nightmare for me. i'm not in school anymore and my mental health hit a new low. i can't stay in touch with people, everything is exhausting, i'm back to zero. i'm still in therapy but i'm seriously struggling.
silver lining: talking to people online is a little easier. i don't have online friends aside from this person. but i'm very friendly in videogames (i jump around, spam a little, TBH i'm annoying but it works) and i'm active online and open about my interests, some are crazy popular. basically i have small exchanges with people here and there, very brief and or casual. it looks like nothing but where i'm at RN it means the world to me.
PROBLEM: my friend. every. single. time. they see a mutual commenting on my post, or i tell them i had a nice interaction in a videogame, they say "wow, you're a magnet, everyone always talks to you, nobody ever talks to me, haha, i don't know how you do it since no one even looks at me". seriously, EVERY TIME.
they've been doing this for years. it didn't bother me as much before but things are different now. they have a wonderful IRL friend group, a girlfriend, many online friends they're close to. they literally DO befriend people the same way i do, i don't understand what they're envious of. meanwhile this is all i have and they're fully aware of my situation.
BTW it's okay to feel jealousy and envy, i'm a little envious too, but it's how you act on it that can be rude or insensitive. i keep it to myself because i know my issues aren't their fault. also over the years i reassured them when they acted this way and a few times i introduced them to some of these people i meet. apparently it didn't change anything.
i want to tell them to start thinking about how many friends they have and to stop complaining. kindly. i probably sound irritated because i am. but if i say this i don't want to be mean to them, i'll try to be respectful. i just don't know if i'm in the right to even be annoyed
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cozy-cinnamon-roll · 1 month
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Stitches (Part II)
(Read Part I Here! used to be We Interrupt This Broadcast... changed the name because I feel like this fits better 😅)
Fandom: Hazbin Hotel
Pairing: Ler!Rosie, Ler!OC, Lee!Alastor (strictly platonic)
Content/Trigger Warnings: tickling, very brief blood mention, medical themes (non-graphic & painless). And again, this is set right after Alastor gets his ass handed to him by Adam, so you can expect some angst (don't worry, he gets better).
If there are any trigger warnings you'd like me to add in the future (and/or to this fic), PLEASE let me know! I am always happy to oblige. 💕
This is a ticklefic! If that's not your cup of tea, kindly move along.
"Almost ready" I said. "Basically finished" I said. Sorry y'all, the Chronic Illness Fairy struck. 😅 I will say this was my favorite part to write, but also the one I'm most uncertain about... bit more angst in this installment and I'm not much of an angst writer lol... but with Rosie in the mix (especially as a ler), angst never lasts long. 🥰
Also I changed the title. Hopefully it's not confusing that way... cuz without Part 1 this fic makes zero sense 😅
One last thing... I'm so happy y'all like Trudy! Was thinking about posting a lil sketch of her at some point (I need a new insomnia project now that this fic is done 😅). I've been having a truly awful few weeks on the anxiety front, so all the positive feedback on Part I has been quite literally making my days 💕
Hope you enjoy!!
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"Ooh, you stubborn little bastard. You're still gonna refuse to laugh?" Rosie mutters.
Alastor doesn't dare try to speak. All he can manage is a defiant shake of his head.
"Look, my friend. If you 'don't mind a little tickling,' and getting all giggly is your specialty…" Rosie tweaks his bottom rib, eliciting a noise that comes just short of a squeak. "What, exactly, is the problem here?"
"I'm supposed to be in control!" he grinds out through his twitching grin.
"You are in control, sir." Trudy abruptly withdraws her hands, holding them up innocently. "You can tell me to stop at any time."
Alastor cringes. He was sorta hoping no one would point that out.
"Which is why I find it so fascinating that you haven't yet." A sly smirk creeps across Rosie's face.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
"I- I'm humoring you!"
"Humoring me?" Rosie tilts her head. "My dear, I hope you're not doing this just for my sake. If you don't want Trudy to check for further injury-"
"No, I do! O-on my terms!"
"This is on your terms."
"Yes, but-"
"In fact, you insisted."
He stumbles again, before mumbling another meager, "…to humor you!"
Trudy shoots her boss a disoriented look - but Rosie, as usual, is hearing her friend loud and clear.
"Alastor." Rosie rolls her eyes, gestures for Trudy to step aside, and scoots over to place a hand on his knee. "Adam is dead. Everyone in hell thinks you're either succumbing to your wounds in some remote gutter or hiding in whatever alternate dimension you just spent the last seven years. You're not even 'on air'." She leans in. "You can drop the act for a moment, if it's what you need."
That certainly hits the mark. For the first time, Alastor's smile falters - not completely dropping, but certainly losing much of the strained quality it's had since he arrived.
"I wish I could, my dear."
Encouraged, Rosie continues. "Well, what's stopping ya? As much as I love spending time with Alastor the Radio Demon… if you wanna take this opportunity to let out whoever's underneath that effervescent grin of yours, you know we wouldn't mind."
Alastor swallows - and for the first time in a decades, Rosie finds his expression difficult to read. "Rosie, I'm afraid I can't really..."
"I mean, you've been holding that same silly show-host-smile for years! Don't tell me you've never gotten tired of it!"
"It's sewn on, Rosie."
"…What?"
He hesitates. "Let's just say today wasn't the first time I've been, ah... stitched up." As he speaks, he gestures to his toothy grin. And for once, there's not a trace of distortion in his voice.
Rosie's dark eyes go wide when she realizes what he means. The cannibal overlord just stands there for a beat, in an uncharacteristic moment of shock.
But, being Rosie, she quickly recovers. "Well, so what?"
"I'm just saying, I'm afraid I can't really drop the act."
"Nonsense! Since when has your act had anything to do with your face?" Rosie flicks her hand, as if brushing the thought aside. "Who cares if you can't show genuine Alastor. I wanna hear him."
"But my microphone..."
"You're doing just fine without it."
Once again, this attempt at reassurance only makes Alastor look more disturbed. "Th-this can't be me!"
"...Well, no. This right here sure isn't the Alastor I know. But…"
Alastor is barely listening to her anymore. His broadcast persona has been his sole identity since he was alive. Now his radio tower has been reduced to rubble, his microphone snapped clean in half, even his carefully-styled clothing left in tatters…
If this is the Genuine Alastor he's now stuck with - panicked, stuttering, weak - he can't imagine how he'll ever be able to face the rest of hell…
But these racing thoughts are once again interrupted by nails tracing up his sides. A sharp yelp cuts the air as poor Alastor just about jumps out of his skin.
"…Perhaps I can offer a little help?" Rosie suggests gently, once she has his undivided (and adorably flustered) attention. "On your terms, of course?"
Alastor just gazes back at her for a long moment. "What do you have in mind?"
"I happen to know something about you that even you can't fake."
The radio demon hesitates… before heaving a sigh and, to Rosie's surprise, giving a small nod of consent.
She breaks into a brilliant (and frankly terrifying) smile.
Before Alastor can brace himself, Rosie's hands have both found his sides and begun working into his waist. Having just watched him squirm around under Trudy's thorough probing twice (and adored every second of it), she already has a pretty good idea of where his worst spots are.
Which is made abundantly clear by Alastor's reaction. Within seconds he's gone from still trying to hold it all in by habit, to giggling into his hands, to cackling hysterically.
And it's the kind of laughter she's spent the last seven years missing. This isn't the confident, taunting chuckle he brings out for battles or brushing off rivals; this is bright, helpless, occasionally hiccuping laughter, the kind that is nearly impossible for him to stop once he starts - and the kind she only has the privilege of hearing when something truly amuses him.
"You can't sew your laughter on," Rosie reminds him. "This is all yours."
Rosie's fingers creep up under his shirt to scribble on bare tummy, adding a couple new sweet spots to her mental catalogue. This technique brings out even more of her favorite little quirks: the way he bats playfully (and completely ineffectually) at her wrists; his repeated attempts to speak around his laughter that only result in frantic spurts of incomprehensible, giggle-laced gibberish.
As she traces her nails across his lower belly she also finds a tiiiny layer of unexpected pudge. Which probably shouldn't surprise her - he's been out of the battle scene for seven years, after all. All those deer carcasses have to go somewhere.
Regardless, she finds it terribly endearing for some reason... and the surge of affection translates into a corresponding surge in the intensity of Rosie's tickles.
"AHaha! Ro- Rosie!" he blurts, his voice jumping a full octave higher than normal. "Stop!!"
Rosie removes her hands immediately. "Stop?"
"Aha- ah- well- I mean, er…" He stumbles breathlessly, and gives a sheepish cough.
"You didn't really want me to stop, did you?"
Rosie resumes with a chuckle, reeling herself in just a little. "How 'bout we say... oh... 'enough,' if you really want me to quit?"
Of course, she has to go and say it out loud.
"M-more of a reflehex..." he admits reluctantly.
Alastor tosses a shaky thumbs-up at her, already too lost in his own giggles to manage a verbal reply.
And he's gotta admit… Rosie was absolutely right. He wouldn't stop her right now for all the souls in hell. There's a reason Alastor has the most recognizable evil cackle of any other overlord. He can't help but find dissolving into laughter as cathartic and exhilarating as always - even if this time, it's not at some poor soul's misfortune. It's a result of his best friend's affection for her darling deer demon.
"As fun as getting your soft little belly is," Rosie muses, pausing to let Alastor catch his breath for a moment, "I can't help but wonder if you're ticklish anywhere else…"
Alastor may be off the air, but Rosie can practically hear the screech of microphone feedback just by the look on his face. "….I plead the fifth."
"Have you considered his ears?" Trudy pipes up shyly. While she'd managed to restrain herself behind an impeccably professional bedside manner earlier, it had taken everything in her power not to stroke Alastor's ears when she'd been close enough to do so. They were just. so. fluffy.
"Ohhh, heavens…" Alastor, for his part, curls in on himself at the mere suggestion.
Rosie grins. "Hey, 'no' is always an option."
A long pause. Alastor can't believe he's considering this. But the sensation of being tickled, as unbearable as it is, does feel awfully pleasant… and it's been so long since anyone has dared to touch him…
And what else does he have to lose at this point, anyway?
"I suppose if you're… very gentle…"
"Are you aware that your ears are the softest thing in the nine circles?"
This stipulation ends up backfiring. When it comes to his ears, gentle is worse. So, so much worse.
Poor Alastor is too busy clutching his stomach and snickering madly into his sleeve to reply.
"I should know, I work in retail. These right here-" Rosie traces her fingers down the feathery-soft edges, sending the radio demon into a new round of hysterics. "-Would fetch a pretty penny."
"They're nohot for saHA-ale!!"
"Nooo, I should say not." Rosie's hapless victim lurches back into the cushions as her fingers find the fluffy region at the base of his ears. Even without the microphone, his cackles have no problem filling the room. "You're the only demon classy enough to wear them."
"And don' you - GAHaha! - f-forget it!" He's so drunk on laughter now that he's beginning to slur his words. His careful elocution has gone the same place as his steady tone, and lack of stutter.
Luckily, he's also far too drunk on laughter to care.
...Right about there, Rosie notices that the faint hum of radio static in the air is no longer just in her head.
He is laughing his heart out for the first time in weeks. Genuinely laughing for the first time in decades. And laughing completely for himself, for his own enjoyment, without need for intimidation or control or image or audience, for the first time since long before he died.
While Trudy typically can't say much for her self-preservation instinct, she's got enough of one to feel hesitant joining her boss in tickling the most powerful overlord in hell (outside the pretense of medical intervention, at least). So she just stands back, watching fondly as The Most Dangerous Overlord This Side of the Pentagram utterly destroys the deer demon.
...At least, until she notices a flicker of green light out of the corner of her eye. Lying forgotten on the end table, the splintered ends of Alastor's microphone are sparking and crackling like live wires.
The surgeon creeps over for a closer look, staring in fascination. And then - just as Rosie gets poor Alastor behind the ears and delivers a scribble to his tummy at the same time - she ever-so-gently nudges the fractured ends closer to one another.
To her surprise, a bright green spark arcs clear across the gap. For a fraction of a second, the whole staff radiates a flash of a familiar green glow.
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"Keep him laughing, Rosie," Trudy murmurs over her shoulder. It appears the Radio Demon's downfall will be nothing more than an intermission.
Thanks for being so patient with me y'all! Hope it was worth the wait 💕
💜- Cozy
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Three is NOT a Crowd
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Summary: Y/N might be ready to try something new.
Warnings/Explicit 18+: Smut - this is just all smut. Pretty much zero plot to this porn. Threesome - F/M/F, vaginal fingering, oral (m/f receiving) slightly rough sex, light spanking, protected p in v sex, voyeurism, voyeuristic masturbation. Dean = sex god, Dean is the best you'll ever have.
Pairings: Y/N x Dean Winchester x Jillian (OFC)
Word Count: 3,994
A/N: Okay, so I blame this horny fic entirely on this Dean edit I saw on TikTok. I watched it like 300 times and then I had to write something about it! 😁 This is what came out. I've never written a threesome before, so this was a fun challenge. Hope you enjoy it! ❤️
P.S. I wrote this quickly - so sorry for the mistakes!
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“Y/N, I am telling you, you will not regret this, okay? He’s the hottest fucking man you will ever see. And I told you - last year he gave me the -”
“The best night of your life.” Y/N cut Jillian off. “Yes, I heard you the first hundred times you told me.” Y/N shook her head at her friend’s oft repeated claim. “But, I don’t know. I’ve never done anything like this, and he doesn’t even know I’m here. This is gonna be weird.”
They were waiting in the hotel room Jillian had booked for her little tryst with Dean Winchester. She’d had it planned for a month, gushing to Y/N about how she’d never gotten over her night (that had apparently stretched into a weekend) with Dean. But as soon as she found out that Y/N had been dumped by her boyfriend of two years only three months earlier, she wouldn’t drop the idea of Y/N joining them. 
At first Y/N had been sure Jillian was kidding. She’d only known the vivacious redhead for about a month and a half. They’d been partnered together at a work retreat and had hit it off very quickly. Despite their differing temperaments, they just clicked and had enjoyed themselves thoroughly that weekend. They’d gone out for drinks a few times since then, and they’d had a blast together many evenings sitting in one of their apartments watching sexy romcoms together and drooling over all the guys. They’d even gone out dancing a few times, and Y/N had enjoyed it immensely.
But when Jillian suggested they partner up for this, Y/N had scoffed at first. But she soon realized Jillian was all too serious. Y/N had been flustered and tried not to offend her new friend. 
“Look, no offense, cause you’re obviously gorgeous, but you’re not my...I mean, I’m not, you know, I’m not attracted to you like that.”
Jillian had just laughed and flicked her thick, shiny, red hair over her shoulder. “First of all, everyone is attracted to me like that.” She said with a mischievous grin. “Secondly, I’m not talking about you having sex with me. I’m talking about Dean Winchester, hottest fucking man on the planet, having sex with both of us.”
When Y/N opened her mouth to argue, Jillian raised her hand. “Look, it’s simple, okay. You’ve just been dumped by an absolute asshole and I happen to like sharing. You deserve to have a supremely gorgeous man fuck you into next week. Girl, I’m telling you, you will not regret it.”
For the next couple weeks Y/N had continued to shoot the idea down whenever Jillian slipped it into their conversation. But eventually the idea had started to sound incredibly tempting. She was pretty miserable after being dumped so coldly and abruptly and she thought she might like a passing fling with a hot guy who apparently was pretty good in the sack. 
So finally tonight, when Jillian had called as she was heading out to the hotel, and offered Y/N her last chance to join them, Y/N had impulsively said yes. Jillian had been thrilled and drove over quickly to grab Y/N before she could change her mind.
But now that Y/N was actually inside the hotel room, she was worried that her horniness had pushed her into making a mistake. Threesomes were so not something she’d ever thought she’d be involved in. Especially not with a new friend and a guy she’d never met.
Before she could completely psych herself out, however, the hotel door opened and there stood the man Jillian had been gushing about for weeks.
Y/N felt like she’d been hit with a MAC truck.
Jillian had not been lying. If anything, her friend had been too reserved in her compliments for the Adonis that she was leading into the hotel room. 
Dean Winchester was indeed the hottest fucking guy Y/N had ever seen. He had to be over six feet tall, and solidly built. He was built in a way that looked like he could easily throw her around the room with no problem. 
He wore a dark blue canvas jacket which he took off as he moved into the room; underneath he wore a thick, blue, gray and red plaid shirt over a gray t-shirt. The plaid shirt pulled tightly across his broad shoulders and showed the lines of definition in his long bicep muscles. The gray t-shirt highlighted a wide, powerful chest and flat stomach. His muscular thighs and rounded ass were encased in clinging denim and immediately had Y/N thinking about just how much power would be behind every thrust of his hips.
His face was every bit as stunning as the rest of him, with very high cheekbones and a sharp, square jaw that made her want to nibble on it. His eyes were sparkling green jewels with sweeping dark lashes tipped in gold. Adorable cinnamon freckles were sprinkled over his nose and cheeks and his light brown hair was short and so soft looking that it just invited fingers to run through it.
And then there was his mouth - his mouth was an absolute work of art. It was perfectly shaped, with plump, soft lips that looked as though they were designed with only sensual pleasures in mind.
On top of all of this, was an aura of absolute magnetism; there was just something about him that made Y/N immediately hot and feral. He was sex on legs, there was no doubt.
His mouth stretched wide now in a gorgeous, flashing a smile as he leaned down to kiss Jillian softly. “Hi beautiful.” He greeted her, and his voice was a deep rumble that further ruined Y/N’s already soaked panties.
Jillian kissed him back and then smiled up at him brightly. “I missed you.” She turned to Y/N who was trying hard to blend into the background. Dean’s stunning hotness might make her core muscles throb with need, but it also made her even more nervous - absolutely positive this fucking god! was not going to be interested in her.
But it was too late to run and hide, as Jillian pulled Dean forward and held a hand out towards her. “I brought a friend along, baby. I hope you don’t mind. Her name is Y/N. She’s a little shy, but she got her heart broken by an asshole recently so I thought maybe you could make her feel better.”
Jillian’s words made Y/N flush scarlet and made Dean shake his head with a raised eyebrow. He looked Y/N up and down, making her stomach flutter wildly. “What kinda dumbass let you get away?” He asked and Y/N reddened even further.
Dean just smiled at her warmly. “But his loss is definitely my gain. I am a very lucky boy.” He grinned at Jillian and let his hand fall to cup her ass. “Two stunning beauties to play with.”
He pulled away from Jillian to move a little closer to Y/N. “But you look a bit nervous, sweetheart. Are you?”
“No.” Y/N squeaked and Dean pursed his lips in a way that said he didn’t believe her. She cleared her throat. “Well, maybe a little. I’ve never had a, uh…” She waved her hand to encompass all three of them.
“A threesome?” Dean finished for her and she nodded vigorously while chewing on her lip. Dean smiled reassuringly at her. “It’s okay, sweet thing, you take all the time you need to feel comfortable.” He gave her a wink and then moved over to the minibar. 
“Should we all have a drink?”
“Hell yeah!” Jillian said happily.
Y/N nodded. “Yes please…um vodka for me.”
Dean nodded and pulled the little bottles out to pour them all drinks. When they were all holding shots, Dean raised his in the air. 
“To good times.” He toasted. The women echoed him before they all downed their shots. The burn felt good in Y/N’s throat, bracing. 
Jillian put on some soft sexy music and pulled Dean and Y/N over to the couch so they could all sit close and get better acquainted. Dean sat in the middle and put his right hand on Jillian’s thigh, while he kept his left hand sitting open in his lap, inviting Y/N to take it if she wanted. 
She did want to. He had incredibly sexy hands. His palms were huge, and his fingers were long and thick. His knuckles were round and scarred, his palms callused. They were just incredibly masculine hands and she was itching to feel them on her skin. But her shyness kept her from reaching out. 
Instead she felt her breathing get heavier as she watched Dean’s hand inch slightly higher on Jillian’s leg. His pinky started to push just under the hem of her skirt, making Jillian sigh softly and then turn her face up to his. Dean took the invitation and leaned down to tease her mouth, sliding his lips over hers far too briefly. Jillian whined and Dean chuckled, finally sealing his mouth around hers and kissing her deeply. 
Y/N watched the way Dean’s tongue delved into Jillian’s mouth and listened to her soft moan and her pussy began to clench painfully around nothing. Dean moved his free hand out of his lap to cup Jillian’s cheek and hold her in place so he could reach even deeper into her mouth. 
She definitely felt like a voyeur watching them, which she absolutely was, but she couldn’t look away from them. Eventually Dean had his right hand completely up Jillian’s skirt, obviously rubbing her over her panties. Jillian threw her head back and let out a sharp groan.
She opened her eyes, panting, and looked at Y/N who looked away quickly from her friend’s dilated pupils and hungry expression.
But Jillian spoke breathlessly to Dean. “Don’t forget about our shy girl.”
Dean shook his head and turned to look down at Y/N, his gaze scorching. “Couldn’t possibly forget about such a sexy little thing.” He tilted her chin up so she was looking at him and then he smiled sweetly, softness in his bright green eyes.
“But I think she needs a little more time to warm up - don’t you, sweetness?"
Not knowing what to say, Y/N just nodded and Dean leaned forward to brush his lips across her forehead. “Tell ya what, sweetheart. I’m gonna take Jillian over to the bed now, lay her down and make her shake and scream. Why don’t you just watch us a while, and if you decide you wanna join us, come on over. But if not, that’s okay too. You can either just keep watching, or walk right out the door if you want. It’ll be entirely your choice, k?”
Y/N’s throat felt like a desert and she just bit her lip and nodded. Dean smiled again, raising her hand to his lips and kissing the back of it. His mouth was velvety soft and the touch of it made her stomach clench.
Then he returned it to her lap and stood to pull Jillian up and over to the bed. He paused when he got there and reached into his jeans pocket, pulling out a long string of condoms and tossing them on the bedside table before turning back to Jillian. 
She stood at the side of the bed, and Dean kissed her slowly as he unbuttoned the little white blouse she wore. He’d positioned them at such an angle that Y/N could see everything perfectly. She didn’t think that was a coincidence. 
Dean’s mouth was at Jillian’s pulse point as he pushed her blouse off her shoulders and skimmed his fingertips down her bra strap, over her breast and then down her ribcage to reach her skirt zipper. He undid the button that sat at the very top of Jillian’s hip and then slowly slid down the zipper, allowing the material to pool at her feet.
He kissed her continuously as he removed her clothing and when she stood in her bra and panties, still wearing her black high heels, he began to kiss his way down her body. He sank to his knees in front of her and dipped his tongue into her belly button as his blunt fingers pressed into the fleshy bottom of her ass cheeks, revealed by her boy-cut, lacy black panties. 
Y/N was sweating now, and she took off the sweater she wore over her tank top and started fanning herself. Every movement Dean made had her nearly climaxing just sitting on the couch and watching.
He nibbled gently on Jillian’s skin, running his tongue over her quivering inner thigh before pulling her panties tight against her and covering her clothed pussy with his mouth, sucking on her through the drenched satin. He moved his perfect mouth against her cunt, breathing hot and making Jillian push her hand into his hair and yank as she cried out in pleasure.
“Please, Dean.” she said in a raspy voice, “please I need your mouth, need to feel it on my skin, your tongue, I…please.”
Y/N understood her desperation perfectly because she also needed to feel his mouth on her; he was so goddam perfect. Y/N’d never wanted anyone so badly. And her yearning only got worse as Dean stood to his full height and stripped out of both his shirts, peeling his t-shirt over his head to reveal rippling back muscles and lightly tanned skin, with more freckles sprinkled there. There were a few small, jagged looking scars across the otherwise smooth expanse and all Y/N wanted was to trace them with her tongue.
He toed off his boots and then stepped out of his jeans, leaving himself in nothing but tight, black boxer briefs that left no part of him to the imagination. She could see the outline of his bulging cock easily through the cotton and the sight made her slip her hand down the front of her jeans, pushing against her clit to try and stop the throbbing.
Jillian kicked off her heels, and Dean slowly peeled off her bra and panties, leaving her completely naked as he pushed her onto the bed. Y/N was a little surprised that she wasn’t embarrassed to watch Dean crawl up her friend’s naked body. She was just too immersed in the sensuality of the moment, the way Dean’s body moved like a graceful predator over Jillian’s skin, biting it here and there and making the redhead moan and arch off the bed. 
“So, fucking perfect.” Dean murmured as he licked her nipple into his mouth.
Y/N slipped a finger inside her aching pussy as she watched him push a thick finger into Jillian's body. Jillian dug her nails into Dean’s bicep as he added another finger and began pumping them hard and fast. She dug her heels into the bed and raised her hips, obviously desperate for more.
Jillian let out a whimper as he pulled away from her to pull down his boxer briefs and Y/N actually gasped loudly as his cock sprang forth. Dean looked over to her on the couch and licked his lips.
“Getting lonely over there yet, sweetheart?”
Y/N felt like she was living in a fantasy as he took hold of his semi-hard cock and pumped it a few times. “Wanna come play with us, princess?” His smile was wicked and welcoming all at once and Y/N simply couldn’t resist anymore. All trepidation was gone, and there was only need left behind. 
She nodded and stood up. She didn’t know her next step, though, until Dean crooked his finger and she walked closer to the bed. Jillian’s expression was all languid pleasure as Dean slipped his fingers back into her cunt, moving slowly now.
When Y/N was only a couple feet from the bed, Dean nodded towards her. “Take your shirt and bra off, I’m dying to see those perfect tits.”
She nodded and quickly shucked both. The roaring heat in Dean’s eyes combined with the soft groan that came out of his throat had her cunt clenching again. “Come here.” He said, his voice a rough rasp.
She walked up right beside the bed and Dean reached out to tug on her breast, tweaking her nipple and making it pucker into a hard bud. “Fuck your gorgeous.” He told Y/N as her hand came up to squeeze her other breast. “Take off your pants, show me that pussy. Is it all wet and hot for me baby?”
Y/N nodded with a moan as she pushed her jeans and panties over her hips. He reached out to slip his fingers through her drenched cunt and swore softly.
He looked at Jillian, who he was still torturing with short, slow strokes of his fingers, and shook his head, before licking his lips and speaking low. “Two soaked, dripping pussies all for me. Such a lucky boy.”
He moved his middle finger gently around Y/N’s clit and she gasped. He pulled his fingers out of Jillian’s body and lifted her hips. He  continued to play with Y/N’s clit as he bent his head and dipped his tongue into Jillian’s slit and she bucked against him. He didn’t falter for a moment, continuing to stroke Y/N perfectly even as he was turning Jillian into a screaming mess with the magic of his mouth. 
Y/N climbed onto her knees on the bed, needing to touch him. She ran her hands across his back and then muffled a cry of pleasure against his round shoulder as he sank his thick middle finger knuckle deep inside her.
As Y/N heard Jillian screaming out her climax, Dean pushed a second finger into her and curled them both perfectly so that she convulsed against him and added her cries of pleasure into the mix. While she was panting in the aftermath, Dean sucked hard on Jillian’s clit and sent her into another screaming orgasm. 
He pulled his fingers out of Y/N’s cunt and pushed her down gently onto the bed. He pulled his mouth away from Jillian who was desperately trying to suck air into her starved lungs, and shifted to lay on his side. He pulled Y/N towards him and pushed her legs wide open. 
He moaned raggedly and then spoke in a deep, gravelly voice. “Fuck that’s a pretty little pussy.” He said and licked a stripe up through Y/N’s folds. 
A loud cry of shock and pleasure shot out of her throat and she bit into her bottom lip in an attempt to curb the noise she was making. 
Dean pulled away from her for a minute, looking at Jillian. “Be a good girl, baby, and remind me how good you suck my cock.”
Jillian licked her lips. “Fuck yes.” She said as she moved into position so she could swallow him down. He dug his fingers into Y/N’s thighs, groaning deeply as Jillian closed her lips around him tightly. 
He returned his mouth to Y/N’s throbbing cunt, flicking his tongue back and forth on her clit before sinking the same two fingers into her again, hard and deep. He scissored her open and then slammed in a third finger. He was grunting roughly from Jillian’s mouth on his cock and the harsh noises were making Y/N shake with need. She needed him to fill her up so badly.
He began to suck on Y/N’s clit and she screamed and fisted the sheets in her hands. “Fuck, Dean…please. Please!” She begged and he gave in to her need, gently scraping his teeth over her bundle of nerves while he rotated the pads of his fingers on her sweet spot and she began to convulse in another explosive orgasm. 
When she finally started to breathe normally again she opened her eyes to see Dean rolling on a condom and then manhandling Jillian into position so he could slam into her from behind. As he began thrusting his hips, he flipped Y/N over too so she was laying flat on her stomach. With every grunt of pleasure that issued from his throat, he brought his palm down against Y/N’s ass, not hard, just enough to create a pleasurable sting that kept her pussy aching while he plowed into Jillian.
The redhead gripped the headboard tightly as Dean pumped into her. He'd barely given her a dozen strokes before her knuckles turned white against the wood and she shook beneath him, crying out her climax and slipping one hand down to stroke her clit and prolong the pleasure. 
He pulled out of Jillian, who fell onto the bed in an exhausted heap, and then pulled Y/N’s hips up off the bed. She looked behind her to see him pull off the condom he was wearing and roll a new one onto his rock hard cock before lining up at her entrance.
“Do you want my cock, Y/N?” He whispered into her ear as he laid his body over hers. She whimpered and nodded, but he shook his head. “Tell me you want it.”
“Yes, please.”
“Say it, sweetheart, tell me.”
Y/N was trying desperately to push back on his cock, but he wouldn’t let her. Her head was fuzzy with need as Dean laid another gently stinging slap to her right cheek. “Tell me to fuck you, Y/N. Tell me you need my cock.”
As though a dam burst inside her, Y/N shouted out her need. “Fuck me, Dean, fuck me, fuck me. I need your cock so badly! Please!”
Dean gave a deep chuckle and his voice sounded proud. “Look, Jilly, our shy girl isn’t so shy anymore.” With that he slammed himself into her and she came instantly, so completely filled by him. 
He fucked her all through her orgasm. He rose up off of her back, lifting his right leg and bracing one foot on the mattress so he could thrust into her deep and hard, slamming her back against him, leaving bruises where his hard fingers dug into her pelvic bone, and lifting her off the bed with every drive into her drenched, clenching cunt.
Finally he shoved her face down into the pillows, holding her shoulders in place with one big hand as he pistoned his hips in and out of her cunt and reached around to roll her clit between his thumb and forefinger making her scream out her third orgasm. He slammed home one more time before roaring out his own climax, bucking his hips against her limp, fucked out body, until he finally shuddered and fell to his side.
He was between the two women once again, but this time he let his calloused fingers roam over both their bodies as they laid beside him.
Jillian sat up, leaning her arm on Dean’s chest and resting her head in her hand. She giggled at the way Y/N was still reverberating from being fucked so thoroughly.
“See, I told ya.” She said reaching over Dean to poke Y/N in the ribs.
Y/N just nodded before turning to lean against Dean’s other side and place soft kisses up and down his neck. When she finally spoke her voice was hoarse from all her screams and cries of pleasure.
“Yes, you were right.” She told her friend before kissing Dean’s lips lightly. “Thank you, Dean. You are an actual fucking god.”
Dean and Jillian both laughed, but Dean opened his eyes and raised an eyebrow at Y/N’s words. “I hope you don’t think we’re done.”
Y/N’s eyes widened slightly. “We’re not?” She asked, her stretched and aching cunt, desperately clenching and flooding once again.
Dean shook his head with a mock frown as he rolled over to pin her beneath him. “Fuck no, sweetheart, this isn’t even halftime.”
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sunshine-zenith · 9 months
Text
Actually yeah I’m jumping back on my bullshit and doing another ramble about small details in Nimona
Specifically the fact that, in the movie, little Ballister already has his eye scar
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In the comic, he gets the scar at the same time he loses the arm, but how he loses it in the book and the movie are different — in the comic he’s basically hit by a tiny missile, so it makes sense he would take a lot more damage overall, while in the movie it’s lost in a sword chop, so unless Ambrosius’s impulsive “disarming” also involves additional face stabbing, it wouldn’t make sense in the movie canon for him to give Bal the face scar here. But Ballister bleeds a bit from the head after the Gloradome collapses, and while him walking away with just one face scar instead of several might seem like a stretch, they could’ve played it off. They already had to make a new character model for him with the prosthetic arm, they could’ve also added the face scar to the second model
Instead, they “backdated” the scar all the way to his childhood without giving a backstory for it, and it implies so much about how his life was before he joined the knights
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This concept art by Crystal Kung sure doesn’t show a happy and well cared for kid. We know he was homeless/impoverished (the visible patches on clothes, the “street kid/charity case” comments, zero signs of parents when his “commoner” bloodline is emphasized). He could’ve gotten the scar running from someone in the streets, or by getting into a fight since he was a pretty impulsive/bold (see what I did there) kid — jumping a fence and interrupting a knight training session. I can’t help but wonder though…
It’s implied that he’s an orphan, given the fact that all of zero parents are brought up when discussing his “commoner blood,” but it’s never outright stated. ND Stevenson stated that in the comic Ballister’s father gave up custody of his son to pay off his debts, and while the knights are no longer exploited orphans/the Queen doesn’t seem like the type of person to ask for that kind of transaction, it does make me wonder what movie Ballister’s parents were like
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Look at those blotches on his face. Sure, they might just be dirt, since it doesn’t look like they bothered to give this poor kid a bath before throwing a media circus in his honor, but compare them to how bruising shows up on his adult self’s face. And if they are bruises, it’s possible that a couple of them are from the whole Tackled By Like Three Fully Grown Adults In Armor thing, but If you look closely, it looks like he already has a blotch before he’s tackled
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Granted, his body language doesn’t really change when he sees the knights coming towards him (no flinches or attempts to cover his head, and while he doesn’t move it doesn’t look like he’s freezing) so him being abused might be a stretch, But think about how he holds Ambrosius back from confronting Todd, how he just quietly accepts the verbal harassment and rough treatment. He doesn’t think confronting Todd is worth it — Todd’s bullying was clearly never shut down or addressed over the years, and it’s likely that any attempts at retaliation from Ambrosius or Ballister got them in trouble instead. Bal is just… used to it
Listen. This vulnerable kid was hurt physically by something before he joined the knights. Maybe he had abusive parents, maybe he had an abusive foster family, maybe he was attacked by someone who caught him trying to steal food or something to survive, maybe he was attacked just for being homeless, maybe this wasn’t his first tango with knights. We have no clue. But he got that scar at a very young age and he got it from somewhere
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