#but sometimes I think they should be allowed to be a little toxic as a treat | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

boyfhee · 2 months

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이희승 、PRETTY GIRL

featuring ⋆ bsf!heeseung, hints at friends with benefits

warnings ⋆ slightly suggestive, use of endearments, profanities, jealously on heeseung's side, toxic undertones? i'm not too sure on this one ( 0.9k )

notes ⋆ something has been so so wrong with me recently i can't come up with anything that doesn't involve making out

“hee, how do i look?”

heeseung is sprawled on your couch, scrolling through his phone when he looks up at you, raising an eyebrow. you’re waiting for his response and he’s taking his time— eyeing you up and down, the way that pretty dress hugs your body. you’ve even done your makeup, flaunting that lip tint you had bought recently, that makes your lips ten times more kissable. you never dressed like this for him.

he sighs, putting his phone aside, and sits up straight, not a single emotion on his face. “are you going to the library to study or on a date?”

“ah, did i over do it?” and you’re asking in the cutest and quietest voice, looking down at your outfit and oh how much he wants to tell you how gorgeous you look.

but you aren’t all dolled up for him. it’s for your project partner— that asshole you have also been studying with for finals for over a week now. and it’s ridiculous how he— or anyone of those losers around you think they stand a chance, when you end up in his arms every night, at the end of all.

“no,” yes, he wanted to say. “not at all,” so pretty for someone who’s not me.

he gets up from the couch and makes his way to you— you look prettier up close. heeseung is aware of it. he wants it to be his little secret, who even does your study guy or whatever thinks he is? heeseung takes your hands and pulls you closer, just looking at you, admiring you. maybe he should keep his pretty little best friend all to himself.

and you don’t even mind since you’re used to this. the closeness, subtle touches, holding hands, comfort, advice— it’s what best friends are for. “but you said i look like i’m going on a date.”

he chuckles at your cute reaction, the pout, the slight frown. how cute. it’s adorable how you always take his words seriously, he’s the one person you can rely on, who you trust blindly. sometimes, heeseung feels bad for having feelings for you. would you even care if he confessed? or would you just cut him off? he’s your precious best friend after all, who you’ve known since you two were toddlers.

“i meant to say that you look too pretty,” is he even allowed to feel this way?

you laugh softly at his words, a bit flustered at his words even though he has complimented you a thousand times. “well, i’ll get going then, ‘seung,”

truthfully, it’s also your fault.

those smiles and giggles, your gaze that searches for him in a crowded room. you never forget to invite him to a group hangout, it’s one benefit of being friends with your friends. those nicknames you call him and only him. he’s the one you run to when you have problems. you live in his apartment more than your dorm— it’s your fault for making him feel all this. for making him like this.

you try to pull your hand back to leave, but instead he wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you closer, pressing himself against you. this is wrong, you know, he knows. too bad, it’s not the first time. worse, he doesn’t care.

“hee—” you gasp in surprise, but your words end up coming out as a sigh once he presses his lips against your neck. he can feel your hands on his shoulders, trying to push him away and the swift motion in which they instinctively wrap around him. and you do realise it’s your fault. you always end up giving in anyway. it’s a bad, vicious habit— he pulls, you push, and then give in, and the way you react to things he does drives him insane.

sure, your project partner could wait for a while. he doesn’t deserve you anyway.

“you’re so pretty, angel,” he whispers next to your ear, giving it a soft nibble before pulling back and looking at you with those enchanting eyes and a smile that sends your heart into a whirlwind. he calls you angel like it’s your name, and he whispers compliments ever so softly and sweetly. it’s what you had asked him for— to tell you how you look, and heeseung is good at doing that. he has got your back. “so gorgeous,”

it’s what best friends are for.

the next thing your mind registers is his sweet lips on yours, the taste of cherries and vanilla from the shortcakes you two had earlier lingering on your tongue, and then your mind goes blank. you’re pulling him closer, he’s busy savouring your taste, taking in your every breath, every little sound you make as he kisses you so well.

heeseung bets that guy you’re so excited to spend time with can’t even make you feel half of what you’re feeling. you’re always going to end up coming back to him for more. after all, no one knows what you want better than heeseung.

the sound of your phone ringing snaps him out of his thoughts. he looks at your slightly red lips as you reach out for your phone, but heeseung beats you to it. he grabs your phone and grins when he sees the caller ID— it’s your study buddy— hands caressing your cheeks as he answers with a smirk. “sorry, my girl will be a bit late today. hope you don’t mind,”

he hangs up, phone somewhere around, and his lips are back on yours again.

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animentality · 11 months

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Dude I'm so confused

Why are the redditors refugees here-

Whats up with the tag 196

AND WHY IS EVERYONE BEING SO NICE WITH THE TWITTER REFUGEES CAME WE GAVE THEM HELL (almost)

The Reddit refugees are here because several subreddits have gone private in protest of reddit's new policy of charging third party developers for access to its API.

Hence the term reddit blackout.

196 specifically was a very queer friendly subreddit that had one rule: that you post before you leave. 196 is trending because those Redditors have come here and they're basically sharing their memery here instead as they protest reddit's greed.

As for why we're welcoming them when Twitter refugees were seen with a little more irritation, well.

Think of the culture similarities.

Tumblr and reddit have far more in common than Tumblr and Twitter.

Twitter is about clout and manipulating algorithms and discourse in 280 characters or less. It's about bad takes that reach the right people and it forces you to see things you don't want to see and it's crawling with the worst people imaginable and you're forced to see them, all the time. They also brought bad tagging and 2016 Tumblr discourse with them, because Twitter culture really involves starting fights for clout and braindead opinions that no one really wants to come back to Tumblr culture.

There was a time when Tumblr did the same thing, but worse, with more words...but nowadays, it's really calmed down.

The worst people...went to Twitter after the porn ban. Ironically, it made the site less toxic and hostile.

But then they came back.

And it was like...hm. no thanks. Stay back where you came from.

But Tumblr and Reddit have much more in common.

Both have a more streamlined way of customizing your online feed. You can choose what subreddits you see on your home screen, just like Tumblr only shows you the content of your followers, on your dashboard, and in chronological order rather than what's trending. You can join a very specific weird niche group of freaks with a shared obsession, and not care about the rest of the site at all. You also don't have a character limit on either site, which lets you ramble more and share weird detailed stories.

Reddit might have karma, but like Tumblr, the majority of people are lurkers and not posters. It also allows you to downvote bad opinions, and moderators who have to adhere to certain guidelines of behavior, which means a lot of banning disruptive people.

Granted, sometimes their mods are power hungry, but. You know.

It does more to control its users than Tumblr do, and that's a good thing in terms of keeping toxicity and illegal shit off its subs.

Reddit also has a way more leftwing attitude than you would think.

It has a reputation for being full of incels but I honestly think that's outdated.

It's cleaned up its act quite a bit since the old days.

I see way more vile shit from Twitter and TikTok. Like seriously.

Twitter is crawling with conservative bots and propaganda machines and just outright inflammatory lies. TikTok literally has the worst comment sections I've ever seen, like edgy teenagers cracking racist and misogynistic humor and acting like it makes them different and special. Its algorithm also spoon feeds you garbage and is designed to be as addicting as possible.

At least reddit's culture, while chauvinistic and regressive in certain subcultures, is mostly on the tech positive, atheist libertarian side.

It can be a little pretentious and caustic about certain subjects, and a little full of itself. Some reddits are also very male leaning and disregard female concerns in favor of moaning about how men have it worse than anyone else on earth.

But for the most part?

...well.

I welcome them here, because if they left reddit in protest, then we always support protests. But 196 specifically is also a queer subreddit, and we support that even more.

Plus they're funny as fuck.

What's not to like, really?

You should welcome them with open arms too.

#reddit blackout #196

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yuri-is-online · 2 months

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Hey, Yuri, do you think Yuu would ever run the risk of being put in danger by having a romantic relationship with any of the more high-profile members of the cast? I mean, we’ve got royalty, nobility, celebrities, and the very wealthy attending this school. I’ve just been rotating my brain about how these relationships would work out and Yuu is a pretty vulnerable target without NRC’s security. - 🦐

Hmmmmmm. I have a bunch of thoughts about this actually... I tried ranking them from least to most dangerous if that makes sense? But don't read too deeply into the bullet point placements they were mostly just a stream of consciousness thing.

Not that Risky (surprisingly)

Leona- we don't really have details about his brother's marriage, but I don't think his family has been shown to be overly keen on forming alliances with outside countries, the Savannah seems more concerned with itself. I don't think his family would be too fussed with his partner being a magicless person from outerspace, if anything this might be seen as a plus to the councilors that are always mocking Leona behind his back as his partner's lack of royal blood makes him even less fit for the throne. Not to mention Leona himself is more than enough to protect Yuu, he's the only royal at the school without a proper retainer (which you could argue is because no one at home likes him) but I doubt his family would let him do that if he was genuinely in danger.

Rook- he's Rook. His family does sound rather sweet from the very very very little we know about him (he also seems like he was kind of sheltered as a kid, something I should chew on sometime) so I doubt they would allow anything too bad to happen to Yuu.

Vil- his main issue is his contract, the Japanese Idol industry is cut throat and often sees things like bans on relationships as part of the contract. Vil doesn't want to risk his career or reputation, he mentions that he himself is a brand and I can't see him wanting to put that pressure on Yuu if they're not up for it. But... there are also celebrities who have really private personal lives and I sort of get the sense Vil is like that? And I don't think he would be too bothered if Yuu didn't want to be super public, it would certainly make it easier to keep you safe.

Idia- S.T.Y.X. might be a gloomy place but no one knows where it is

Medium Danger (danger is real but can be managed)

Jade and Floyd- we don't actually know what their family does, just that it's probably sketchy and that Mama Leech calls them every day, taught them self defense, and just generally seems to worry about them a lot. The danger is very real under the sea, but I also sort of get the sense that messing with the Leech family is skipping the fuck around and going straight to find out.

Azul- his business is going to make him enemies sooner or later, but at least during school Yuu should be more or less safe. Azul's able to keep on top of the students who mean Yuu harm, and Yuu is able to politely ignore their boyfriend's business (or maybe they have a knack for helping?) When you get older I can see Azul's need for a security team expanding, but he'll have money to get the best.

Riddle- ok so. I don't think his mom would try to kill you. But god she would be such a toxic person to manage. I'm actually working on a (very old) request atm that involves discussing what Riddle's mom might do if she finds Riddle with a partner instead of his studies (which I assume she's paying for) especially during his internship. She'd go full scorched earth and get very confused when Yuu doesn't back off like Trey did.

Huston We Have a Problem

Kalim- the amount of assassination attempts my poor boy has already canonically endured... I imagine there are probably going to be more in his future. I can see Yuu needing their own retainer (which could be a fun concept for an oc) to protect them and test their food. When Grim becomes a great mage I'm sure he could help with that actually, wouldn't that be cute?!

MALLEUS- acceptance of humans is virtually non existence in Briar Valley AND his mother hated humans so much she "blessed" her child to only be loved by fae. We don't actually know how the senate works but I imagine they would lose their ever loving shit if Malleus brought home a human as a friend and now he wants to make them his spouse? No. They say no. Time to show them what an absolute monarchy means I guess.

Assuming Yuu isn't in a relationship with Malleus I could see their friendship actually sort of being a boon to them, especially if Yuu was with Kalim or Azul. Pissing of the merchants is one thing, but the King of the Abyss? No thank you, they'll just take their losses and go.

#<3 asks #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #shrimp annon #it took everything within me to not add rollo to this list because we don't know if his family has money or not woirebtnoiewnrgoiewsmnygpi #lore in the tags for people who read it: i made some ocs for the fyuuture kid au #one of which was a retainer for the al asim family #who worked for a sibling of kailm's and was a friend of yutu's when he came to twisted wonderland

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gloomwitchwrites · 21 days

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Break Up with Your Toxic Boyfriend (4 of 4)

Simon "Ghost" Riley x Female Reader

Content & Warnings: brief discussion of verbal, emotional, and physical injury canon-typical swearing, protective Simon, unprotected piv (wrap it up irl), creampie

Word Count: 1.8k

A/N: Part of the Imagines & What If Series

You might not be his anymore, but Ghost doesn't believe so. When you reach out to him, Ghost makes every excuse to come over, knowing that he can get you back if you just realize that you've always only been his.

ao3 // taglist // main masterlist // break up with your toxic boyfriend masterlist

Simon stands in the middle of your living room.

He is blood-drenched. Lead-hungry.

Full of venom. Full of fury.

His gaze sweeps over the busted television, the broken bookshelves, and the massive hole in the wall. There are bent picture frames empty of their glass. The photos within are either missing or partially torn. Whiskey stains the wall, running down from the impact point in little ribbons of amber.

Simon’s hands curl into fists.

This is so much fucking worse than what he originally thought. The living room doesn’t even scratch the surface. The kitchen is completely trashed, so is your bedroom where your boyfriend decided to shred up your clothes in anger.

Your… “boyfriend.”

That fucker should be grateful he isn’t here to face Simon. If he were, Simon would make him suffer. Make the prick eat his teeth.

On the phone, you were delirious, each word running together anger, frustration, and a fear that Simon felt in his gut. It sat heavy in his ears. That was enough for Simon to forget all responsibility and come to you.

Otherwise, Simon would not have come. You are not his woman anymore. That obligation to comfort doesn’t belong to him. It belongs to your boyfriend, but he’s the cause of all this suffering.

Why should you seek that bastard out?

No. Simon is glad you called him even though the circumstances turn his stomach and fill his veins with sludge.

He turns around and finds you lingering nearby. Your eyes are red with irritation, and your cheeks are puffy. Simon longs to pull you into his arms, yet hesitates only because you might push him away.

Simon unclenches his hands, flexing his fingers. “You’re breaking up with him.”

He’s not going to step around or sugar-coat this. Simon has always been blunt with his words, and this will be no different.

Your back straightens, hands clasped in front of you, fingers curled around the neckline of your sweater. “Simon—”

“It’s not a suggestion.” Simon lifts his arm, indicating the disaster of an apartment. “This is who he is. This will happen again.” He drops his arm.

Your chest expands. Deflates. “But—”

“Don’t defend him.”

“I’m not,” you snap.

Simon strides forward but you do not retreat. You stand tall, staring up into Simon’s face. Though your cheeks are stained with your tears, you’re beautiful.

“Next time it won’t be the wall or your television. It will be you he hurts.” Simon shakes his head. “And I won’t allow that.” You open your mouth as if to interrupt but Simon is having none of that. “I’ll kill him before that happens.”

“No. You won’t.”

“I will,” he growls. “I’ve never lied to you. Think I’m lying about this?”

Simon watches your throat bob as you swallow. He knows you understand. Fucking hell, he might be distant at times, even cold or blunt, but he never lies to you. Simon has always told you exactly what’s on his mind. Sometimes it has been to his detriment.

It is one of the reasons the two of you broke up. Simon didn’t want to end things. He respected your wishes, but even upon leaving, Simon still considered you his. The issue was with him and how he communicated with you about things. Emotionally, he was fucking distant. Not all the time, but enough that it seemed like he didn’t care.

That’s far from the truth, but Simon didn’t see any of it until you put it all out in front of him and decided to leave. Only then did he realize, and he did fucking everything to work on himself.

Fresh tears develop in the undersides of your eyelids. That’s it for him. It’s over.

Simon moves in, clasping the sides of your face with both hands. “Do you understand?” he asks softly, wiping away the tears with his thumbs.

You don’t nod or even make a sound.

It’s not enough. Simon needs confirmation.

“He will escalate. He will get worse. You will be a target. Tell me you understand.”

There is a sniffle before you speak. “I know,” you whisper, voice cracking slightly.

Simon sighs and wraps his arms around you, pulling you against his chest. You’re warm. A beacon of light in the disaster of a room. He leans in, pressing his cheek to the top of your head. He inhales and his lung fill with you.

With a final squeeze, Simon places a kiss to the crown of your head. He pulls back, but just enough to look at you. “I’ll clean up.”

“I can help.”

Simon shakes his head. “No. Sit. I want to do this for you.”

Your brow softens, arms falling away from him as you step back and glide to the sofa.

Simon tackles the bedroom first, shoving all your damaged clothes into trash bags. He organizes everything, making sure nothing is out of place, that it appears as it did before your boyfriend trashed it all. When he’s done, Simon returns to you, putting you to bed.

“Don’t leave,” you murmur, and Simon doesn’t. He curls up next to you, holds you until your breathing becomes shallow and slow.

Only then does Simon unfurl himself, slipping away. He doesn’t leave the flat. He shuts the bedroom door and gets to work, picking up the shattered glass, sending the television to the large rubbish bin. He orders you a new one and schedules it for delivery. He sweeps the floor and returns everything to your kitchen cabinets. Anything that is torn or broken gets trashed. Simon works through your clothes last. Sitting on the living room floor, Simon shifts through every one, trying to see if anything is salvageable. Most of it is, but there is plenty he has to toss.

Simon works until there is nothing left. It’s incredibly late, the time creeping close to the rising of the sun. Returning to the bedroom, Simon kicks off his shoes and removes the balaclava. You’ve seen his face countless times, and showing it now is normal.

When Simon slips into the bed beside you, and your body shifts, turning in his direction. He slides over into your reaching arms. The moment your bodies come together, you sigh with pleasure, and the noise goes straight to his groin.

But Simon won’t. He won’t push. This is not about him.

Sleep floods in, and it is your soft hands caressing his face that eventually wake him.

“Good morning,” he murmurs, voice harsh from dreaming.

“Morning, Simon,” you reply, resting your chin on his chest.

This is how mornings used to be. It sends Simon into memory and the days when he knew he was in love.

Was?

No.

Is. He still is. He still loves you utterly. That never stopped for him.

Your hands are not idle. After caressing his face, they move downward. The shift in your motions sends little shivers through his spine. They are visible and sharp. You inhale, and Simon begins to lean in. You mimic him but pause before your mouths can meet.

“Do you have to go?”

Simon captures one of your wrists with his hand, caressing the pulse point there with his thumb. “I can stay as long as you like.”

The smile that spreads across your face warms him everywhere. He wants to savor it forever. Your gaze drops from his eyes to his mouth. Then, your head shifts to glance at his chest and stomach. He might be wearing a shirt but Simon feels bare under your attention.

As your gaze returns to his face, Simon’s resolve melts away.

Fuck it. He’s doing this.

Grabbing the back of your neck, Simon closes the distance, pressing his lips to yours. There is no hesitation or resistance. You melt into him, and Simon has to hold back a moan. Every kiss is tender. Sweet. He’s missed this—missed you so fucking much it’s a raging inferno under his skin.

There is no part he leaves untouched. His hands roam everywhere, seeking closeness. Seeking your warmth.

“Simon,” you whimper against his mouth.

“I’m right here, love.”

You push upward, swinging your leg over his body, straddling him. Simon is momentarily stunned but you’re already returning to him, pressing you lips to his. He groans and grips your neck harder as your hips rolls against him.

“Simon,” you repeat, and his name on your lips is shifting him around, turning his insides out, revealing all his weaknesses.

His hands and your hands tug and pull. Moving clothing. Shoving bedding aside. When you start to sink down on him, Simon has to break the frantic kissing to breathe deep, to praise you in all the ways he knows how.

Your hands are solid against his chest. An anchor as you rock back and forth.

“Fuck,” he groans.

“Fuck,” he repeats, elongated the vowel as your pussy lightly squeezes him.

Above him, the air from your lungs releases from you in little sighs that creep into his ears and burrow in the folds of his brain. They are collected there. Remembered.

Using his grip on the back of your neck, Simon pulls you right back in, claiming your mouth. You open for him perfectly, your hips momentarily stalling as all your attention shifts to this one connection.

But Simon needs that movement. He craves it like the birds need the wind.

Wrapping his free arm around your waist, Simon flips you onto your back. There is no pause between the time Simon flips you and when he starts to thrust. It is instant. An impulse. A driving force that overcomes him.

Your fingers claw at his back, your legs hooking around the backs of his thighs, drawing him closer. If that is what you want, Simon will do it. Happily.

Pressing his forehead to yours, the two of you exchange breaths. The bed strikes the wall in repeated thuds, pleasure pooling in the base of Simon’s spine.

“Don’t—” You inhale. Exhale. “Stop.”

Growling, Simon presses his mouth to your neck, his pace increasing until his thrusting becomes an erratic, desperate thing. He hears you moaning, feels your pussy clenching down to keep him inside.

It’s too fucking much.

Simon’s own release roils up from the depths. His hips grind forward, creating a seal as he comes. His entire body shivers as one of your hands cradles his cheek. The touch is so soft he almost doesn’t recognize it at first.

But then you curl your fingers under his chin, guiding his face away from your neck to stare into your eyes. He starts to pull away, but your feet stay locked over the back of his legs, keeping him inside you.

Simon smirks.

He has you.

It might not be perfect or even solid, but he has his way in.

You haven’t said it, but you don’t need to.

You are his.

taglist:

@glassgulls @km-ffluv @glitterypirateduck @tiredmetalenthusiast @spicyspicyliving @childofyuggoth @miaraei @coffeecaketornado @wren5650 @aykxz98 @kayden666 @36namey @miss-mistinguett @keiva1000 @cherryofdeath @pertinentpostmortem @enfppuff @kittytiddywinks @cinnabeanz @berarenado @saoirse06 @ninman82 @no-oneelsebutnsu @marispunk @thewulf @hayleybarnesx @lxblm @ferns-fics @ooldcardigan @beebeechaos @enarien @xxkay15xx @sw33tsnow @kessi-21 @makayla-666 @lifes-project @burn1ngw00d @heeheehoohoohahahihi @lulurubberduckie @ravenpoe67 @jade1605 @contractedcriteria @lovely-ateez @gingergirl06 @kidd3ath @leed-bbg @blackhawkfanatic @suhmie

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mncxbe · 8 months

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Can I request Dazai, Ranpo and Chuuya with a s/o that’s never been in a fully healthy and loving relationship so they sometimes get confused or shocked by the bare minimum? Like if they say they care about their consent for anything they’re like “Wait you what?- you do? Fr?” Or if they say smth they can do they go “Wait I’m allowed to do that?”

Totally not self projecting

sure dear omg this is lowkey so sweet. hope you like it♡♡

// also tysm for 400 followers hihi♡♡ love you all

°☆●

Kintsugi

𝑫��𝒛𝒂𝒊, 𝑹𝒂𝒏𝒑𝒐, 𝑪𝒉𝒖𝒖𝒚𝒂 𝒙 𝒇𝒆𝒎!𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓

𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: fluff♡/ light angst maybe?

𝑫𝒂𝒛𝒂𝒊

he probably figures it out during the first weeks of the relationship

asks lots of rethorical questions and lowkey pushes you into telling him all about it (he just needs to know) but he doesn't actually force you to tell

"Bella, you know I'd never do or say such things to you. Your exes just weren't real men, aight? Didn't know how to handle a beauty like you" (he thinks he's a smooth talker fr)

super kind to you overall; he'll pay attention not to be toxic to you

"Wanna play a game, bella?" Dazai cooed, curling on the couch next to you.

You carefully set down the cup of honeyed tea you were drinking and scooted closer to him, a wide smile stretching your lips.

"Sure. What do you have in mind."

"How about a game to get to know each other better? We ask questions and the other one answers. I'll even let you go first my sweet." he said with a wink.

"Um... ok?" you said reluctantly "Cats or dogs?"

"Cats. If you could eat anything right now, what would it be?" he asked playfully.

"Hm... probably figs. Figs would be nice"

This little game of yours went on for around twenty minutes until your boyfriend finally decided to ask you a more serious question.

"What's the worst relationship you've ever had?"

Although he asked that question in a lighthearted tone, there was a hint of urgency to it. Seeing the blank expression on your face, Dazai added:

"It's been weighing on my mind for a while now."

"Well... I gotta say all my exes were kinda shitty. I've never actually been in a healthy relationship and the worst part is that I didn't even know they were unhealthy at that time." A light chuckle rolled off your lips as you reached for your cup and took a small sip. "You see, I didn't wanna tell you about this. I assumes it would be a burden"

Dazai's eyes softened upon hearing your statement. "Bella" he began, taking your hand in his "Nothing that you do or say will ever be a burden to me."

"Alright then" you replied with a sheepish smile "Then I guess I could tell you"

And then you did. You told him everything you've been through: your first ex who never let you go out of the house without him because he thought you'd cheat on him, your second who always made you cook dinner for him because "that's what a real woman would do" and the last one, who constantly brought his friends over although he knew how shitty they were with you. As he listened to you tell your story, his thumb gently brushed over the soft skin on back of your hand. It did hurt to hear what you've been through, but what pained him most was the fact that you didn't think he'd understand and accept your trauma.

When you were finally done talking, a deep silence fell between the two of you.

"You know I'd never treat you like that?" he eventually said.

You gave a small nod "I know. I just... I guess I'm not used to healthy relationships."

Dazai's arm snaked over your shoulders as he pulled you in a gentle hug; your head coming to rest on his chest. He simply placed a chaste kiss on the crown of your head.

"In that case I'm honoured to be the one to teach you what love should be like"

𝑹𝒂𝒏𝒑𝒐

he probably knows from the start

it was the little things: the ways you'd always ask him if you're allowed to do certain things, the fact that you were always so aware of all his moods and actions

so yea, he figured it out

doesn't force you to talk about your exes tho, he'll wait for you to open up or ask you casually

so supportive fr; reassures you that he'll never do something like that

"Y/N you deserve the best really. And lucky for you I'm the best"

protect him at all costs fr♡

Your boyfriend's ultra deduction was something that never ceased to amaze you; but still you didn't expect him to catch on so fast on the fact that you have never been treated right in a relationship before.

When he finally called you out on it all you could do was look him dead in the eyes; your fingers fumbling with a loose string on the cuffs of your hoodie.

"So?" he asked again, pouting.

"Yea, you're right. I've never had a healthy relationship"

"I knew it!" he exclaimed but immediately regained his composure when he realised this wasn't something he should be happy about.

"Look, sugar. I won't force you to tell me anything about it but just know that I'm not like them."

"I know Ranpo my sweet but-"

"Nuh uh" he interrupted, pressing his index fingers against your lips to shush you "Let me finish. First off, you're allowed to go out with your friends whenever you want to. Just text me from time to time so I know you're safe. Second off, please tell me if I'm ever crossing your boundaries. And third stop apologising for every single thing you do, ok? It's not a good habit"

"I know I'm sorry but-"

Ranpo raised a brow and smiled lightly "What did I just say love?"

You took a deep breath in and returned the smile "No apologies, noted." After a minute of silence you eventually spoke again, this time with more confidence "Thank you dear. For being so patient and understanding with me. Maybe one day I'll tell you about my exes, I want you to know. But I don't wanna let the past affect us."

"And it doesn't, my sweet. Did you forget?" he giggled, flashing you his signature smirk. "I'm the best boyfriend ever. Nothing could ever determine me to see you as less than perfect."

You suddenly leaned in and placed a kiss on his lips; the saccharine gesture taking him by surprise.

"I'm so happy I'm with you Ranpo. You make me happy." you beamed and the detective felt his heart melting. His entire body felt like pudding, a soft, mushy mess. This was the effect you always had on him.

Your boyfriend hugged your waist and burried his head in your chest as your fingers combed through his dark locks.

"I'll do my best to be worthy of you" you said after a while.

And Ranpo only nodded, smiling against your chest. His slender fingers found yours and loosely intertwined with them "You already are, sugar."

𝑪𝒉ū𝒚𝒂

"What? What do you mean if I let you go out with your friends tonight?"

he's so confused fr; doesn't understand why you ask such questions

such a sweet boy fr

at first he doesn't realise why you're so moved by every small thing he does, but after you tell him about your past relationships... oof

you know he's gonna threaten to kill those guys🫡

he's even more gentle with you now and reassures you that you're worthy of a good man (he's talking about himself hehe) and that he'll treat you well♡

literally the definition of "You can wear whatever you want. I can fight."

JUST BECAUSE FLOWERS🌹

It was around 8:30 p.m when you heard the door open, announcing the arrival of your partner; you quickly discarded the fluffy blanket you were wrapped in and tip-toed to the hallway.

"Chuu. Let me tell you what happened today you won't believe it!" you said excitedly as you turned the corner and... you stopped dead in your tracks.

There he was; Chuuya Nakahara, your beloved boyfriend, holding a bouquet in his arms. Honeysuckles, milesii irises and golden daylilies perfectly wrapped in a coffee coloured craft paper with drawings of the Eiffel tower and French bistors. 'La vie est belle', it read.

"Hey honey. Sorry I'm so late tonight but I stopped to get this for you." he said casually as he handed you the flowers.

You took the bouquet from his hands and held it to your chest, breathing in the sweet, fresh scent of the blossoms. Chuuya must've noticed the disdained look on your face for he came closer to you, gently placing an arm on your shoulder.

"My love are you ok? Do you not like the flowers or..."

Suddenly you burst into tears, a wide smile rising to your lips. "No Chuu I love them. I love them so much thank you I just-" you stammered, choking on your tears. "I just never got flowers before."

Chuya's heart sank upon hearing your words, a wave of sadness washing over him. "My sweet love." he began, his calloused hands gingerly cupping your tear stained cheeks. "You deserve all the flowers in the world."

His words only made you cry harder. Both of you were smiling, gazing into each others' eyes; from time to time Chuuya wiped away a pearly tear that streamed down your face with his thumb. Between you the flowers were getting squished but neither of you could care less.

"You're a silly girl, you know? Crying over something like this." he said playfully, trying to lighten up the mood.

"Oh shut it" you replied in the same tone as you kissed him on the cheek.

Your boyfriend took the flowers from your arms and carefully placed them on the counter before pulling you in a tight hug; he breathed in your scent and God, you were even sweeter than the blossoms.

"You know I'll give you everything you want and more darling." he said in a hushed voice, causing you to sob quietly.

He let you cry for a while, whispering sweet nothings and caressing your hair until you finally calmed down.

"I'm sorry Chuu. That was embarassing" you chuckled lightly but your boyfriend didn't miss the hint of guilt in your voice.

"Not at all, silly." he said, pullng away. "I know we've talked about this before, the way your past relationships impact our own and I wanna remind you that it's ok if you react like this. To be honest you're cute when you get so worked up over my little gifts"

"Hey don't tease me" you cried out, wiping away the last tear from your reddened cheeks. "Or I'll cry again"

"Now we can't have that, can we?" he replied as he slid an arm around your waist. "Let's put those flowers in a vase and get you a glass of water. I think you need it love."

A smile rose to your lips as you looked at him, chest swelling with love and pride "Yea. I think I do, love."

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multifandomslxt · 11 months

Text

Most Possessive members of NCT

YUTA NAKAMOTO

honeyyyyyyyyyyy

EVERYBODY and their mama knows just how possessive this mf can be

lemme be straight tho

A lot of people think he's the toxic possessive

but that ain't the case

he's like...a level below toxic possessive lmaoooo

he'll allow you to go out

he won't control the way you dress

but...

Tell him where you are, where you're going

who you're with

when you're coming home

how you're coming home

There are certain things you should wear for him and him ALONE

you hear me?

I warned you ho

he doesn't get jealous easily

tbh he just gets annoyed

He won't say shit if he sees you leave the house in a short dress

but if you come home and say that somebody was hitting on you

he's fucking you on the spot

he's not gonna blame you for being fine asf

but he needs to get rid of the memory of that person

In short

tbh he just doesn't play when it comes to you

AT ALL.

every time you wear sandals people know its because of Yuta

he took your ability to walk.

NA MF JAEMIN

listen

he's in competition with Yuta

Honestly

Jaemin is possessive ASF

he's arguably more dangerous than Yuta

still not toxic though

but he gets jealous easily

if anything he's sweet about it.

If you have an outing with friends

bitch...

he's helping you pick out that outfit

because you will not be leaving the house in a short dress

when he knows he won't be there to protect you

In public, he is ALWAYS

Gripping the life out of your thighs

When he gives you hickeys

they spell his name

'JAEMIN'

with a lil heart

where everyone can see

also extremely protective but that's for another time

LEE JENO

Pack it up

jeno is a little... toxic possessive

I'm sorry

but I must tell the truth

not everybody can handle him

"Don't you think that's a little too short to wear out?"

that's all he said and

You still wore it out

the next day you couldn't walk

Doesn't like that you have male friends but won't tell you to cut them off

WILL BE HAPPY ASF

if you and your male friends lose contact tho

does not get jealous easily but when he does...

babe.

just do what he says😭😭😭

or else somebody is gonna get beat up

not you though...never you

he would never

Everyone can see the bruisings on your love handles from how hard he grips you every time you wear Croptops

Liu Yang Yang

mhmm

I know what you're thinking

"Yang yang doesn't give me possessive energy tho"

bitch that cuz he's childish with it

He's like a child with his possessiveness

a brat

pouts and rants

when he feels someone is trying to take you away from him

all he needs is a hug, some reassurance, and a very specific article of clothing you wear a lot 👀

tbh his possessiveness is sweet but it can be annoying sometimes😭😭

Made you wear panties with wet with his cum because he needed to be "Reassured"

Lee Haechan

Brat #2

he is just annoying 😂😂😂

for the most part, he's feigning possessiveness

unless something happens

then you'll see a different side of him

also extremely protective and will get into a fight

once again that's for another time

and trust and believe when yall are in public

babeeee

not

letting

you

if he could go into the bathroom stall with you he would

he just wants everybody to know that you are his.

fucked you at the back of the restaurant once because Jungwoo was being a bit too friendly.

#nct imagines #nct yuta #nct fanfic #nct taeyong #nct dream #nct doyoung #nct fluff #nct 127 #nct smut #nct scenarios #nct mark #nct taeil #nct jaehyun #nct jungwoo #nct johnny #nct haechan #nct wayv #yang yang

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m1ssunderstanding · 2 months

Text

Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 3.1

I thank my lucky stars every night that Yoko eventually got sick of playing secret-keeper.

Paul: I didn't leave the Beatles. The Beatles have left the Beatles . . . John said he wanted a divorce. Alright, so do I. See how they say “Beatles” and they mean each other sometimes?

Derek Taylor on John's position on the break-up: if Paul were to approach him and say “let's do it together again” he probably would; with no more words, he would probably do it. Which is an insane claim to make to a world full of people grieving the greatest band to ever exist unless you are very very sure of that probability. But if it's true that that's all it would have taken, and Paul didn't do it? That hurts my head a little. Do we think he was just hurt too bad to want it back? Do we think he didn't know he had that kind of power? Do we think he was glad to be free of the group?

Ugh my heart can't take it. I'd cry too, John, watching that. I mean look at how they are looking at each other. Look at everything they've lost in a year. I'd bawl like a baby too.

Paul sends John a long, thorough letter, begging for them to legally end their partnership outside of a court. John's run out of cards at this point, but he still doesn't want to lose Paul, so he's just going to play dumb.

This is how bad he doesn't want to lose him, actually: he goes along with Klein in tricking Paul this time. Calls him up and asks him to come to the studio for a jam session, because it'll hurt his case in court. But for multiple reasons – the Eastmans were knowledgeable lawyers, and Paul might not have even wanted to be in a room with John at the time anyway – Paul doesn't come. Which John would've been hurt and angry over, no matter his motives.

"They tell you to stop crying at about age twelve. Be a man. What the hell's that?" I'm so proud of John for his (albeit long and backsliding) journey out of his toxic masculinity and violence. Something I honestly don't see him achieving without Yoko.

And from that quote it transitions to Paul in Scotland, looking like the embodiment of depression, as the opening of “Isolation” plays. It's perfect.

“And don't try to come over here. Or you might get in some trouble.” The way he just froze when he saw them filming him and then the next thing we see is him threatening them? Get ‘em, babe!

John sounds so giddy about this one-upping competition with Paul. I'll scare him and then he'll scare me!

The whole Lennon Remembers era is such a terrible case of diarrhea of the mouth in general, but the amount of homophobic language is quite striking compared to how John talked before and after.

John, talking about George in Rolling Stone: "he was working with two fucking brilliant songwriters and he learned a lot from us." People read that quote and just parrot it like they do with everything John said in this period and act like George had nothing to be angry over. He had every right to be much angrier and hold a much bigger grudge than he did.

And about George's new record, which was phenomenal and brilliant, John is transparently jealous and so cruel. If he'd said that about me and then asked me to play on his new record I'd tell him to go to hell. Why did George do it?

See and everyone who knows John knows how much he loved Brian and to hear him speaking so crassly and cruelly about Brian must've been a sure indication to them to just take the entire interview through that lense of “oh he's just saying shit”. But that's only the people who knew him. Everyone else for the rest of time took this shit as constitutional. And it pisses me off. It should be locked away in a vault somewhere and no one is allowed to listen to it until they've passed some kind of Beatles and emotional intelligence tests.

This crushes my soul. How warped must his definition of love have been by that point that he genuinely believed Phil Spector and Allen Klein loved him more than Paul and George did? It's bonkers.

John in 1967: all you need is love! John in 1971: the point of life is to manipulate people. . . . What the hell happened to you, buddy?

I go back and forth as to who's the smarter PR person: John or Yoko? Because maybe she's right. Maybe they shouldn't divulge that they're master manipulators. But is this one of those times when it's good to be all “look how honest we are about this! We're not hiding anything! We're saying bad things about ourselves too! So you should believe us about everything else!”

Really this documentarian should be hired to make all the music videos for all the Beatles and solo songs. This one for “Too Many People” is perfect. Paul walking into court with a full beard and a confident stride, John and Yoko in bed, Paul horse riding overlayed on Linda's gorgeous face like she's some goddess, designing his fate. All of it is just pure brilliance.

I'm forever laughing at just the title of the song, too. Because to John and Yoko it was so important that they were Weird and Off-putting. Different. Revolutionary. And to say “no. You're not special. There's actually an excess of people like you.” Is so funny to me.

“When she wants an A side, that's when we start fighting.” Oh gosh. Remember how I said he backslides a lot in his feminism journey? Yeah…

Insanity quote Hall of Fame. Yeah, I know he meant to say it's weird to be best friends with a woman. But it sounds like he's saying it's weird to fuck a woman. Which maybe he subconsciously means both idk.

Paul: we need to legally dissolve the partnership because it's the only way we're attached anymore. Ouch. Okay it's true. It's deserved. But that must've stung for the guy who was terrified of losing people. Must've sent him into fight or flight.

I think the point of this framing is to say that if they'd had facetime back then, instead of just crackly phone lines, HDYS would not have been written. Not with those puppy eyes staring him down like that.

Interviewer: the song wasn't even funny though. John: well I think it's hilarious. Interviewer: hmm. Lol I love hearing interviewers talk to John about his lyrics like he's a real guy doing a real job, though. Imagine a music critic now saying John Lennon wasn't clever in his lyrics. You can't, yeah. Me either.

What a slap in the face to Cynthia. Guess she wasn't Cool Girl enough. Should've gone girled him. That would be an excellent fic. Cyn and Jane gone girl their idiot bfs and John and Paul realize they're in love on death row. But anyway, yeah. If Paul would've just pet John's head . . .

Another absolutely bonkers thing to say. That's something the Rockstar’s ex wife says in a documentary ten years after he's dead, not something a songwriting partner says, completely unprompted, in an exiting the band interview.

And then he goes off on what I see as a self-soothing diatribe on Paul the family man. You can see the hoops he jumped through to get himself there. What did Paul want that I couldn't give him? A family. And is that justified? Absolutely not, only pussies and conservatives want families.

Allan Klein: were you and Paul ever really close, then? John: no. John: not that I didn't love him. I did. It's just that every time I let my guard down, he hurt me. Holy shit. At this point, after getting hit in the face with so much of John's Paul-made pain with nothing from the other side but pictures of the happy McCartney family, I'm genuinely feeling quite angry at Paul. Me. An extremely biased Paul girl who knows it's far more complicated and multi-dimensional than this. No wonder the uninformed public fucking hated his guts.

And as they're showing this quote, “I didn't want to hurt you,” plays mournfully in the background. They really are so twisted up in each other there's no separating individual identities.

Okay so he's a psychopath. So what? He's the sexiest man that ever was or ever will be. He's allowed to be a horrible person. No, but really. He's Get Back Paul but healthier. He's done with his depression drinking and he's been spending a lot of time proving he's still useful enough to exist by building fences and shearing sheep.

And this is how Paul talks about George to interviews. John said Klein made ATMP a success but Paul disagrees. "George recorded it all, wrote it all, did it all, wasn't anything to do with [Klein]. It was George's victory, wasn't it?" Compare that to how John does it and tell me again why the hell George is Team John?

What is Paul's obsession with daddies? Actually I know exactly what the obsession with daddies comes from, but we won't get into that here. I do find it interesting that in ‘69 he's saying “we do need a sort of central daddy figure.” And in ‘71 he's deriding John needing one and won't let John's daddy of choice touch him with a hundred foot pole.

I tend to think Paul chafes against authority in general, but that's actually not right. He never had a problem with George Martin. I think it's just abusive authority or authority he doesn't trust yet.

#paul mccartney #the beatles #john lennon #mclennon #ringo starr #george harrison #yoko ono #linda eastman #understanding lennon mccartney #ulm

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espinosaurusrexex · 1 year

Note

Congrats on 1k followers, you deserve it! I love your writing so much, I’d love to see you write a Bucky x Reader Mind Reader fic where enhanced!reader can read minds and knows that Bucky is pining after her.

THANK YOU! Part of that is because you keep supporting my work, and I love you so much for it 🥰💕💗 - seriously go check out M's page for some great fic recommendations!

Mind Reader (Bingo Game)

!BINGO ASKS CLOSED!

BuckyBarnes x Enhanced!Female!Reader

word count: 2.1k

warnings: pining, fluff, Bucky being very sweet but also self-sabotaging, language

It started off like a whisper. You weren’t used to whispers. Normally, people talked to themselves in moderate volumes. Who would be afraid of their own thoughts after all? But Bucky was different. He was so different, in fact, that you had mistaken his thoughts for something entirely else.

You should go over to them, be part of the group. I can’t.

They were like conversations. But not like thoughts usually were. More like a constant...

No wonder nobody likes you. You’re a coward.

...fight.

Shut up.

You looked up at Bucky who was shaking his head with a frown over at the other end of the room. Wanda and Sam were standing by the window talking, laughing. Bucky was never part of it and it saddened you a little. Especially because he was actually very sweet. He just never showed it. But that’s why you liked to occasionally listen to his thoughts.

That was very well said, Steve. Good job.

It made you smile. And even though you had promised the team not to do it, sometimes, you couldn’t help yourself. He was just...

I like that braid Natasha did today, maybe she can braid my hair like that too.

...so...

This is the best food I’ve ever tasted. Wow, Sam.

..cute.

And that’s why you did it occasionally.

You got up from your seat at the kitchen island and walked over to the sink. Bucky stepped aside to give you space. He was still a little timid around everyone. You talked to him frequently though, trying to include him in activities and general conversation to make sure he didn’t feel left out. And he appreciated it.

“Thank you,” you whispered before passing him to leave the room.

Oh, wow. She smells very good. Don’t be a creep.

You bit back a smile before leaving, your heart skipping a small beat before settling in its pace again. Bucky was so endearing with his little compliments. But he would never dare say them out loud - not with that condescending voice he harbored as well.

You wanted to do something about it, but you also knew it would reveal your little secret of occasional drop-ins to his mind. And you were sure this was a boundary you couldn’t cross with Bucky yet. Steve? Sure, what was he going to do about it? Sam would probably close his ears to prevent you from listening to his thoughts - he didn’t think a lot of times... Nat would probably not mind at all, but Bucky? No, you didn’t know what it would do to him.

So you restrained. But it became harder and harder with time as Bucky’s thoughts turned in a direction neither of you had expected.

She looks so pretty today.

He was subtle at first, surprised by his own mind but somehow content. Over time, you looked at him afterward, he smiled, a small blush creeping over his cheeks to his ears. It was adorable.

He noticed things nobody else did. He had attention to detail, and he was so interested in the smallest of things you did.

Did she put on eyeshadow? Her eyes are shining. Not for you.

But it was always there, at the end of each compliment - ready to destroy the little warmth he spread in your heart - that voice. That annoying, down-talking, and toxic voice his mind hosted and that was nothing like the Bucky he revealed to the outside.

I wish I could hold her hand. She will run away from you.

Your heart clenched with every day his mind ruined the few soft moments Bucky allowed himself. You wanted to just grab him, squish him tight and tell that stupid voice to shut up. Because you did want to hold his hand during movie nights, or that day he noticed your new nail polish, or the time your fingers brushed against his when he handed you a mug. And it was killing you, tearing you apart from the constant tug of war his mind was playing.

You wanted to hear the compliments he thought of but at the same time, the flip side of his thoughts became more painful every time. Still, you challenged him, walked past him closer, looked at him longer, talked to him more - just to feel the goosebumps building when his kind words reached your mind. Unfortunately... just for them to be destroyed right after.

Her lips look so soft. I bet she’s a good kisser. Fucking creep.

So, you eventually got so used to listening, it became more and more difficult to distinguish thought from spoken words with time. You couldn’t stop, though, it was too thrilling - too nice to be appreciated.

You found yourself lingering in spaces Bucky was more often. Not necessarily talking, just being in the same place, stealing glances, listening to his mind - finding calm in the soothing tone of his silent monologues... however condescending they ended up being.

Right now, you were doing exactly that: Sitting in the common room, reading a magazine while Bucky sat across from you, mindlessly opening and closing his book, but you knew he wasn’t reading...

Imagine what it would be like to just be able to go over and sit next to her.

You smiled, biting your cheeks immediately.

Calling her my girl... Jesus, I don’t think I know how dating works anymore.

You stole a glance at him, but Bucky was looking down quickly, tracing the cover of his book with his index finger.

You will never find love again... that’s ok, it’s too overwhelming anyway.

This time, you had to will yourself to keep your eyes on the page. They hadn’t moved over a single word for the entire time. You shook your head, took a deep breath, and tried to actually read. Bucky’s mind was silent for some time, and as much as you liked hearing him, it was nice to not experience his sad thoughts.

After a while, you began to actually read. The article was actually somewhat entertaining, you should have done it sooner. Your eyes flew over the page, eating up the meaning behind the latest internet trend, your fingers flipping to the next page.

That outfit looks so good on her. That’s her color. I wish I had a color.

“It’s cerulean,” you laughed absentmindedly, your eyes nearing the end of the page.

“What?” Oh my god.

Oh shit. Your head shot up immediately, sight panic surging up your spine. “The answer for my crossword.” Close call.

You’d think that after this accident, you had gotten more careful, maybe stopped reading his mind so much. But something always drew you towards him. When Bucky was in the room, even Peter's weird and random rabbit hole thoughts seemed to move in the background.

You craved Bucky’s thoughts - they excited you, made you feel like no one else’s compliments ever did - so you didn't stop. But today, you actually wished you had...

Bucky’s mind was particularly gruesome today. He and Steve had just come back from a rather frustrating mission. Many pedestrians were injured, no targets contained - and it made the bad voice in his head take over.

You’re such a failure, Steve risked his life to save you and for what? For you to fuck it all up again.

The common room was empty when you heard it. You were the only one in the adjacent kitchen, Bucky’s thoughts preceding his entrance by a few seconds. When he entered, he stopped in his tracks, looked at you, and let a small “Hi.” Slip past his lips.

“Hey,” you responded sadly. There was no compliment today. His mind went back to his prior train of thought immediately.

“How are you?” You carefully asked to loosen the awkwardness, but Bucky just turned to the fridge with a gruff mumble.

“Fine.”

It would have probably been better for everyone if Hydra just had had its ways with me. Had me die of all the torture eventually. Then all of this would have never happened.

Tears sprung to your eyes at his thoughts. But it was even worse, you couldn’t help him - he had never really told you and it was eating you alive.

Everyone is just better off without me...

And then a slight sniffle escaped you, the tears running freely as you imagined Bucky not being part of your life. It was so sad that he couldn’t see how important he was to all of you. You especially. He had made your life at the compound so much brighter, was a thing you always looked forward to as a part of your day.

"Are you okay?” Bucky turned immediately, his eyes going wide when he saw your distraught face. You fucking idiot, of course she’s not okay. It’s probably your fault, too.

“Stop!”

“Stop what?” He moved closer. “Stop what?”

“The arguing, the- the constant downplay.” You wiped your tears but there was no use, fresh ones were already replacing them.

“Doll, I don’t know what you-”

You shook his frame, your hands wrapping around his biceps. “I need you! Nobody would be happier if you were dead!”

It was dead silent for a moment. You could watch as the confusion shook from Bucky’s face with every jolt you were giving him. But you didn’t care. It was enough - he was enough.

When your hands finally let go, Bucky cleared his throat, his eyes, however, never left yours.

"So you do read my thoughts.”

“I-“ but your mouth was faster than your mind. You didn't know what to tell him. You had promised the team to never do it. You knew it was a breach of privacy, a breaking of trust. Your head hung low as you avoided Bucky’s eyes. They weren’t furious, or confused - really, nothing you had imagined them to be if he ever found out. He was kind of... calm. As if something had been lifted off his shoulders - it must have been the closure you provided him with.

You dared to glance up again just to be met with that confusing look of his again, and the fact he wasn’t saying a thing made you panic. “I’m sorry, I was too curious. Because every time I...” You sighed, shoulders slumping in defeat. There was no use in defending your actions. “I’m sorry. I promised not to read your minds and I did it anyways. That’s not okay.”

But Bucky didn’t seem to listen to the words tumbling over your tongue in desperation. His brows were scrunched when his eyes flicked to the ceiling and then back to you. What the hell was this about?

“If you heard that... did you also hear my... you know...” Oh. Right. The compliments. How could you have forgotten? They were the very reason you were in this situation right now.

You breathed in deeply. “Yeah.” And it felt a lot better now that it had all been said.

“Oh.” Bucky’s cheeks tainted in pink when he turned in place awkwardly. But even though the kitchen was massive, there was no real hiding from you.

You watched as he shuffled in front of you, shifted his weight from one foot to the other, and looked anywhere but at you. And it reminded you of the Bucky only you got to experience in secret. The one whose thoughts never left that brain of his and it warmed you from the inside out again.

“Thank you,” you finally whispered, careful not to chase him away. Because it looked like he was about to bolt, though something was keeping him from doing so.

“For what?” Big blue orbs found yours again, intrigue and confusion weaving through his features - it was adorable.

You bit your lip. “All the compliments. You’re very charming, you know?” Part of you wondered if the old Bucky - 40s Bucky - was just like this. Innocently sweet, maybe with a hint of shameless flirting though. “You are such a great person, Bucky. If the others could hear how incredibly attentive you are. They would love to have you around more.”

Your hand reached out to touch his arm and the blush on his cheeks deepened.

“I’ll try,” he smiled, the tension from before seemingly forgotten in the vast kitchen.

You smiled as well, riding on a wave of confidence when you leaned forward to press a chaste kiss to his heated cheek.

Sweet Jesus, I think I’ll pass out.

You just chuckled and left. The other conversation hanging in the room had to wait for now. First, you wanted to see Bucky mingle with the crowd, get comfortable, then, you’d work on finally making him yours.

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sixstepsaway · 6 months

Note

I don't get why people want to pretend Ed wasn't abusive. Why do people insist on making everything into binaries? Yes, Ed has been a victim of abuse. Yes, he has been abusive. Both things can be true. I love him because I think he's in interesting and I understand where his pain is coming from (even if I think S2 was a missed opportunity in terms of character development). But anyway, thank you for writing about this because maybe some folks genuinely don't recognize abusive trends.

I think it has a lot to do with the fandom culture of only being allowed to like "wholesome" ships.

Look at it this way: when season 1 was airing, Ed and Stede were, in fact, very wholesome. Sure, they had some moments of lesser wholesomeness, but overall they were pretty wholesome and sweet and gentle. They were sweet and finding love in middle age and it was adorable. They had a general stamp of fandom approval that they were, in fact, Wholesome And Good To Ship™.

If you look at other fandoms, you'll see a lot of times there's the Good And Acceptable Ship and then there's the Bad Ship (or ships) and the Bad Ship is always slapped with the "oh that's actually incest!" label when they've, idk, grown up together, or "oh it's abusive!" because one of them one time made a bad joke or something, or "power dynamics!" because one is 27 and one is 25 or one is short and the other is tall or whatever, and yeah sometimes the Bad Ship is actually toxic or whatever (which is not a reason to not ship and enjoy it!), but they're put in neat little boxes: Good and Bad.

And for a lot of people, those boxes keep them safe. Last year, someone who was an Izzy Hands fan got doxxed because...? They liked Izzy Hands and shipped him with... I don't know actually. Ed? Stede? It doesn't matter, all I know is they got doxxed.

The side of fandom that thinks you should only ship the Good Ship are toxic and downright dangerous. It's happened again and again in numerous fandoms and just keeps happening.

So when at the end of s1, Ed turned around and cut Izzy's toe off and fed it to him, I think a lot of people panicked because shit, now Ed was Bad too, and if he's Bad then you can't like him or relate to him or ship him with the Good guy of Stede, so what the fuck do you do?

Obvious answer: Blame Izzy. Izzy's already classed as Bad, so put all the responsibility on Izzy for Ed's darkness and then it's safe to ship Ed and Stede again and no one can call you an abuse apologist or whatever for liking them together.

(To be clear: Shipping says nothing about your real morality. This is very clear for many reasons, one of which is... spend thirty seconds watching fans of the Wholesome Ships dox people and abuse people online lol)

So they spent all this time saying Ed was just scared and lashing out, and now s2 has come along and Ed is... well, abusive, canonically.

And for most of us, that doesn't really matter. We can still enjoy Ed and Stede or Ed and Izzy, we can throw ourselves into fanworks and enjoy the show for the things we like, and we can critique the things we have issues with (my problem is not Ed being written as dark and twisty and having a villain arc, my problem is the show writing it badly, exploring it badly, and then handwaving it, because it's shitty writing) and still really enjoy the vibes we got from the show.

But for people who are scared because they spent all this time saying Izzy fans should kill themselves for liking an abuser, well... now they have a choice: either admit Ed is an abuser and admit that liking a character doesn't dictate your irl morality, nor does it say anything about you aside from what you enjoy in fiction, or excuse away his actions, insist he's just a lil meow meow and continue feeling safe in their little bubble.

In a lot of ways I can't blame people for wanting to duck and cover from it. I mean, look at the shit people get for liking characters who aren't perfect, or talking about the imperfections of characters, or just enjoying complex narratives!

But what genuinely concerns me isn't anything to do with the fiction really, it's when people look at Ed's behavior in 2x01 and 2x02 and go, "Nah he's fine," because oh, honey, no, you are making yourself so vulnerable to real life abuse. That is what worries me, which is why I answered that one ask saying Ed wasn't abusive, it felt important to point out why he is.

Anyway, that's what I think is happening here. I think people are just scared that if they admit their fave has multitudes and isn't a perfect character who never does any wrong, they'll get doxxed and abused and harassed online.

I get that.

#anonymous #ask

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chaifootsteps · 2 months

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i saw an interview this morning where valentinos voice actor is asked about his characters relationship to the other vees and he briefly explains that vox and val in this weird gay relationship where they make out and do stuff but then straight up says "uhhhh i dont know what valentinos relationship is with velvet lol!"

the bar is in hell for women characters (pun intended) because a velvet USED to have a relationship with vox and val during the instagram days. i like that she was more like a daughter to him and that they bonded over violence! shit like that was what actually made valentino feel like a complex character who can be good and bad. because i literally cannot think of a single relationship hes on good terms with. voxvals whole appeal is that theyre toxic gay bitches! so having just ONE good relationship in his life, even if its just with his weird 30 year old coworker daughter, could actually make him feel like a person with layers like valentino fans desperately insist he is in the show.

since rn velvet just kind of. exists! she barely speaks to the other vees, doesn't seem to enjoy spending time with them unless she can film them dancing and making out, shes mostly frowning in the finale whenever vox opens his mouth, and never directly even speaks to val. why would val not speak to someone he lives (i think) and considers his equal?

like she very much has the ability to become a compelling fun character/villian when shes separated from the other vees. which sucks! because it just makes me wonder "would valentino or vox tangibly lose anything if velvet didnt work with them? and would anything change about their dynamic if she wasnt there?" and i know the answer is "probably not!"

the fact that no ones mentioned her despite s2 having a "heavier focus on the vees" is so fucking telling. she really doesnt feel like the backbone of the vees! she feels like the third wheel vox and val hired and she just stays with them for power despite her not speaking/having a relationship with them at all. its not even like the idea of "30 year old woman stops caring so much about her gay dads she created and slowly begins to resent them, working with them anyway for power" is a terrible idea, but i absolutely know thats not what viv intended. vel is absolutely an afterthought in the writing when shes with the other vees and its apart of what makes me dislike them now more then ever. if s1 couldnt even have velvet speak to the other vees about ANYTHING other then important business stuff (like, idk, fashion, technology, love potions, the few fucking things these characters have in common) then i doubt s2 is gonna be much better.

anyway velvet should leave the vees and get some granny gyatt from carmilla thank u 4 reading <3

Calling it now, season 2's going to contain as little Velvette as Viv can get away with. Because you said it best yourself -- she's not so much a character as a third wheel Vox and Val hired. If they're not around then she's sometimes allowed to shine, but if they are, forget it. It's all about them.

#Anonymous #viv stuff #actual blog post #hazbin hotel critical #vivziepop critical

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ham-st4r · 1 year

Text

𝓜𝔂 𝓔𝓿𝓮𝓻𝔂𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰 - 𝓛. 𝓗𝓮𝓮𝓼𝓮𝓾𝓷𝓰

Pairing: heeseung + female reader!

Warnings: smut, dirty talk, cursing, crying, make up sex.

Genre: Ex’s to?

Summary: when you receive a text from your ex-boyfriend late at night, you can’t help but give into temptation and reply with hopes that you weren’t making a mistake.

Note: just a little something I wrote very quickly. I hope everyone will enjoy it. More works coming soon! Please reblog and leave feedback.

Number of words: 3,020k

Find your way around!

"I miss you."

Those were the words that you read on your illuminated phone screen over and over, thinking it must have been a mistake that your ex was texting you that he missed you out of the blue.

It had been six months now, and you don't know why you even still had his number saved in your phone.

Well, a part of you knew.

Even after six months apart, you still cared for him. You still craved him. You still loved him.

It took weeks after the breakup for you to realize that it was going to take a long time to get over him.

You had your first everything with him, and when he said those dreadful words, "we should break up," you thought you must have been dreaming cause you couldn't believe it. You didn't want to believe it.

You didn’t know what to do.

After all the things you did together, all the time you spent, and all the love you shared or what you thought was love, it all went down the drain.

You didn't agree with his reasoning for wanting to break up, but you understood it, and maybe just a tiny part of you was grateful that he took that step cause you're sure you would have never broken up with him, not in a million years even though it wasn't a healthy relationship you knew that you'd never stop trying to make things work with him cause you truly loved him.

But hey, maybe he did you both a favor by ending it.

After all, there had been countless arguments, nights where neither of you spoke to one another and even went to bed angry.

And that was just the start.

When you two first got together, you were both convinced you'd last forever through everything, foolishly rushing into the relationship at full speed. You both loved hard, probably too hard for only being together for two months, but that's young love, right?

But along with that came so many trust issues. Though chemistry was there, nothing else was, and even though you both loved each other, you knew two months together wasn't long enough to build trust to build a foundation, and that's why everything fell apart.

Nearly everything about the relationship was toxic. He wouldn't allow you to talk to other guys. You wouldn't allow him to go out alone, and that only resulted in arguments that you wished you could erase from the file case that you stored in your brain.

And slowly but surely, after that, nothing was off limits. It got so bad that you'd check each other's phones to make sure neither of you were cheating and even go as far as to have your friends spy on each other.

Sometimes, you'd even spend the night so you could watch everything he did, or he'd take you out on countless dates just to make sure he knew what you were doing at all times.

So now, after reading that text repeatedly, you asked yourself over and over why you replied with "me too" instead of just blocking him then and there, but there was that part of you that still loved that man with your whole entire being and even as pathetic and desperate as it sounds it was true.

"Can I come over?"

He texted back immediately after you replied.

"Sure," you reply back, and your heart felt like it was going to beat out of your chest. After six whole months of pining, you'd finally be able to see him.

Within fifteen minutes, he was knocking on your front door.

He looked as handsome as ever in his tan jeans and simple white shirt hiding beneath his leather jacket.

"Hi, y/n," he smiled softly at the sight of your beautiful face, and god, it's been too long since he last saw you. He couldn't wait another day. Even if he tried, if he didn't come over tonight, he was sure he would have gone insane.

"Hey," you breathed out, and that's all the time he gave you before he invited himself in and slammed your door shut behind him. His body moved on its own it was like you were a magnet sucking him in as he cupped your cheeks and kissed you with a burning passion.

His touch could always have you in complete shambles. You absolutely melted into him and immediately wrapped your arms around his waist. Without you even noticing, he messily kicked his shoes off and threw his jacket to the ground, all while keeping his lips glued to yours as if he pulled away. He wouldn't ever get a chance to kiss you ever again.

He easily backed you up against the couch. He didn't even need to open his eyes. He knew your apartment like the back of his hand. He remembers spending countless nights cuddled in your warm embrace while you stroked his hair and watched some random show you both happened to be into at the time.

He'd never forget those nights, not even in a million years, cause those were his absolute favorite, just you and him enjoying each other’s company.

He dropped his hands from your face and trailed them down your sides, gripping the hem of your shirt and breaking the kiss just long enough to take it off.

You gasped slightly at the cold air hitting your warm flesh, allowing him to stick his tongue inside your mouth even deeper, getting to taste every single last inch of you.

Like muscle memory, his warm fingertips skimmed over your lower back and easily unclipped your bra. He smiled into the kiss and pressed your body closer to his, humming in absolute delight while roaming every last inch of your body, touching you in the places he knew that would make you feel like your skin was on fire and make your heart skip a beat.

If it wasn't for lack of oxygen, he would have never pulled away. Unfortunately, he had to, but he didn't waste the opportunity to practically rip his shirt off and toss it on the ground. His dusty blonde hair stood messily atop his head as he leaned in yet again to get another taste of a little thing called you.

Hours, more like days. That's how long he could kiss you. Hell, he'd kiss you for six months straight just to make up for all the lost time. "God, I fucking missed you so damn much," he mumbles against your lips, his warm heavy breath fanning across your flushed cheeks.

You were already too far gone to even register that this probably wasn't the best idea, given both of your guys' history.

But you didn’t care. His scent was inviting, his touch was addictive, and his kisses were deadly.

"Me t-too," you moan quietly when he sucks the sensitive spot on your neck, knowing the exact reaction he'd get from you.

Your hands quickly found his belt buckle. You unfastened it at the speed of light and then made quick work of his button and zipper.

You stuck your hand down his underwear and palmed his erection. "Ah fuck” he moaned against the pulse point on your neck tracing his tongue over the hickey he had just created. "You always know how to make such a mess out of me," he whispered and blew cool air over your delicate skin.

To feel you so close again was literally a dream come true.

He was sure he'd never ever get used to the feeling of you. Every little thing you did felt like magic to him.

"I'm not much better off," you sighed in pleasure as he toyed with your plush breasts and rubbed his finger pads over your hard nipples.

"I’m glad to hear" he chuckles lowly and brushes your hair behind your ear, giving you one last butterfly-inducing kiss before slipping his large hands into the waist of your silk sleep shorts, tugging them down as the material hit the carpet softly.

You mimicked his actions and pulled his jeans down to his ankles so he could step out of them.

At this point, neither of you could be bothered with any further undressing. He looked deeply into your eyes and slowly laid you back on the sofa, and you instinctively wrapped your legs around his waist. He pulled his fully hardened length out of the front of his boxers, and the sight alone was enough for you to clench around nothing.

A gush of arousal dripped from your hole, soiling your panties even more.

He rested his fist beside your head, his breath hitching when he saw the huge wet spot on your baby blue panties. He teasingly rubbed his wet tip over your damp panties. "so beautiful," his bottom lip was caught between his teeth as he tried to muffle the sinful noises that threatened to come out, but inevitably they were bound to come out, and it would definitely be sooner than later.

You blushed from hearing him complement you after so long

Your hands roamed his toned chest and found their home on his broad shoulders. Your eyes fluttered shut in pleasure. Just feeling him through the thin material of your underwear was enough to make you feel dizzy. Your mind was full of nothing but him and how good he was making you feel. "Hee," you moaned, the nickname you gave him a few weeks after you both started dating. His heartbeat definitely increased after hearing you say that after so long.

"Yeah, baby, I'm right here," he whispers softly on your lips, now slowly grinding into you while adding to the number of kisses you had shared.

To hear him call you baby after being apart for six months made you feel like he was still yours and you were still his it felt like those unforgettable nights when watching your favorite show would always end up with you two having slow passionate sex on the couch.

Those were always the best nights.

He brushed his nose against yours, nudging you softly and burrowing his head into the crook of your neck.

"I can't wait any longer," you admit with a heavy breath as you run your fingers through his soft hair.

"Me neither," he propped himself up, swiftly moving your underwear to the side, allowing him easy access to indulge in you.

He quickly gathered up your wetness and coated his cock in your slick. You felt him slowly press his tip inside you stretching your tight opening with the help of your natural lubricant.

You both sighed in pleasure, eyes fluttering shut at the same time as the familiar feeling washed over you both.

He couldn't control the erotic sounds he made each time you tightened around him as you were still getting used to him again and adjusting to his size. "You always feel so good, baby" he carefully lowered his weight on you, pressing feather-light kisses all the way from your chest to your beautiful plump lips that still tingled from all the kisses he gave you.

Your hands ran along his back, gently scratching the skin and bringing him closer as you started to get more and more comfortable.

He took note of this instantly and created a slow, steady rhythm rolling his skillful hips to stroke inside of you. "Oh god," you whimper at the sheer fullness once he bottomed out. This was one of the many things you loved about him. He never left one inch of your body unsatisfied when he was with you. "Hee, please go faster" you didn't need to tell him twice.

He hoisted your legs on his shoulders, picking up the pace of his hips as he cupped your face looking you dead in the eyes while his tip repeatedly hit the deepest part inside of you. "I missed us together," he admits in the vulnerable moment, eyes full of nothing but sincerity and love.

Instead of responding with words, you bring his face closer, reassuring him that you feel the same way by kissing him with every ounce of love you have in your body.

You smile into the kiss, but your face quickly morphs into one of pleasure when he sneaks his hand in between your bodies to rub your clit just the way he knows you like. "Right there" your hands flew to his hair, tugging harshly as you tried to ground yourself from the overwhelming pleasure. It's been so long since you felt like this. The last time you felt this good was one week before your breakup.

"I know, baby. I bet that feels good, doesn't it?" You didn't even have to say anything for him to know the answer. You were squeezing around him so tight he could have cum right then and there, but he was holding off cause he wanted to cum with you. That's how he always did it.

"So good, h-hee" you had trouble catching your breath. Your whole body was shaking from the intensity of your impending orgasm. "I'm close," you whisper.

"Me too," he grunted and leaned back, squeezing your breast with his left hand while playing with your clit, adding an unfathomable about of pleasure to the mix. "feels so fucking good, baby," the feeling of your panties brushing against his cock was bringing him more pleasure than he'd ever like to admit.

When he looked at where your bodies met, he couldn't help but groan at the sight. He fought to keep his eyes from rolling back so he didn't miss a second of his cock sliding in and out of you. The front of his boxers were completely ruined from your arousal, just like your panties. Strings of wetness connected your lower halves together with every thrust. It kept getting wetter and messier, but that's just how he liked it, and so did you.

He pressed you further into the cushions creating an animalistic pace as you were now nearly bent in half while his tip hit your cervix with each roll of his hips. "Just like that, hee, keep going" your hands were now flat on his chest, nails digging into his pecs as he made you see nothing but stars.

"I'm gonna cum” you breathed out when you felt your high approaching much faster than you ever felt before.

"That's right, give it all to me, baby, don't you hold back" he started rubbing fast random patterns on your clit, tipping you over the edge in just seconds. The tight grip and rhythmic pulsating of your cunt triggered his orgasm right on time with yours. "I'm cumming” he moaned while leaning down and connecting your lips once more while he stilled inside you, his seed staining every crevice of your walls.

He was panting heavily while your tongues messily tangled around each other, teeth clashing every now and then as he slowly guided you both through your highs, rocking his hips softly while you both struggled to catch your breaths.

He rested his head on your chest, still panting softly while he listened to your heart rate returning back to normal.

After a few moments of silence, he gently pulled out of you, both of you wincing with slight sensitivity while you readjust your undergarments. "That was so amazing" he propped himself up once again, looking down on you with a fond smile that you missed cause you were too caught up in your own thoughts. "Wasn't it?" He asked, looking to you for reassurance while peppering your face with kisses.

"With you, it always is" you smiled with that same look in your eyes as when you told him you loved him for the first time and he knew he could never let you go ever again.

Just that look made his stomach churn it reminded him of what it was like when you were both together, and all the feelings of why things ended flooded his system.

All the doubt came back instantly and hit him like a truck.

Before his negative thoughts swallowed him whole, he suppressed those feelings and reached for the small blanket on your couch covering you both.

"Hey? What's wrong?" You asked after moments of him blankly staring at you.

You cupped his face, and he smiled sadly. "I'm sorry for breaking up with you an-" he quickly buried his head in the crook of your neck to hide his tears.

You immediately wrapped your arms around him to comfort him.

"I should have never left you. I should have talked to you first, but I left like an idiot.” He cried and nuzzled his face closer to you. "and I know you probably hate me, but I want you back," he to a sharp breath. "I want you back so bad I miss you so much."

"hee…" you rubbed his back. "I could never hate you," you whispered. "look at me," you cupped his face once again, looking directly into his eyes. "I love you, okay?" you wiped his tears with your thumbs, and he nodded his head, sniffling slightly. "I missed you so much, too, and I'd try a million times with you 'cause you're my everything."

"Really?" he said sadly while looking at you with puppy eyes and a smile that he couldn't hide even if he tried to.

You returned his smile, wrapping your warm arms around him comfortingly.

"so does that mean you'll take me back?" he says, feeling hopeful.

"yes, dummy, let's just try not to fuck it up this time." You say while smiling.

"Don't worry. We won't i swear i’ll listen to you. I won't look through your phone, and you can have as many guy friends as you want," he began rambling. "well, maybe keep that to a minimum of three, but I promise not to make you sad, and I will-" you cut him off with a kiss, and he just smiled at you. "what was that for?"

"cause I love you," you smiled, and he leaned down, mimicking your actions and kissing you back.

"I love you too." he hugged you close to his chest.

There was still a lot that needed to be worked out and talked about, but for right now, you just wanted to enjoy this moment with him, and you knew that no matter what the future held, he’d never give up on you, and you'd never give up on him, cause he was your everything.

FIN

Thanks for reading, don’t forget to reblog and leave feedback!🐹

Latest work!

#enhypen heeseung #heeseung smut #enhypen heeseung smut #heeseung #enhypen heeseung fluff #enhypen angst #heeseung enhypen #enhypen #enhypen smut #lee heeseung #heeseung x reader #fanfic #kpop #lee heeseung smut #enhypen fluff #smut #heeseung fluff

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 12 days

Note

aita/wibta for NOT breaking up with my bf ?

i'm not sure if the title is phrased weirdly, bare with me. my bf and i are both 18, he is cis M & i am FTM (relevant).

My bf and i are both currently in first year uni, both living at home due to high cost of living in our country (also everywhere else lol). We met about halfway through highschool, and were friends for a while before getting together. we are coming up on two years together in a couple months, and have not really had any major bumps in our relationship. we see eachother i would say 1-2x per week, with both of us living at home and being broke it gets a little challenging sometimes but we call most nights and generally we make it work. Also worth noting that I am my bf's first everything, down to his first kiss, while he is not really this for me. this is the longest relationship i have been in (probably because i'm 18 lol), but not at all the first. however, the only "serious" relationship i have had outside of of him, aside from just casual stuff, was very abusive & toxic, so i do sort of see us on equal footing as neither of us has ever been in a normal, functional relationship before.

Now, the issue: while we are both currently living at home, i see this as a very temporary arrangement and something i am counting down the days until i can get out of. while living with my family is not abusive or anything, it is just very straining as i am not very close with them, and also cannot transition while living at home. as previously mentioned i am ftm, and while my mom is tolerant it would just put even more stress on the relationship if i were to start changing physically while living at home or even asking her to use different pronouns for me and is just something i prefer to leave until i'm not 100% reliant on her. that being said my dysphoria causes me very intense depression and without getting too detailed, i don't know how much longer i can take living here and putting off any sort of meaningful transition outside of close/online friends calling me he.

my bf, however, plans to live at home at least until he graduates, which is six years away. i understand that this is a very normal thing, especially culturally (he is middle eastern + muslim, i am white + agnostic), but the issue is that his mother is, among many other things, extremely homophobic. she already hates me for reasons i'm not really sure of (my bf refuses to go into detail, i think to protect me, but i have seen extremely graphic and nasty texts about me by name on his phone and have been told by him that he doesn't even mention me around the house or else she gets extremely upset, though she is always extremely nice to me the few times we have interacted), but anyways, me transitioning while he is still living at home would be essentially putting him in legitimate danger.

my bf does not like to think about this, which i understand. it's hard enough dealing with what i get from my family, and that is absolutely nothing compared to the fact that everyone he knows from his culture/religion beleives he should be dead just because he is gay (i know, as does he, that there are queer muslims. but they do not exist openly in his personal community). but the problem is that anytime i adress to him that the idea of waiting until we are in our mid-twenties for me to even think about transitioning is a really big issue for me he basically refuses to talk about it and just says that "it will work out". on top of the transitioning thing i just generally don't want to be twenty-five (the age he has told me is when he plans to move out) and still having to cancel dates last minute because my boyfriend's mom was in a bad mood and decided he's not allowed to go out tonight. i know this is how life is for many people and they learn to deal with it! and i respect them very much! but it is genuinely my nightmare. i understand why he cannot/does not want to cut himself off from his family, especially since his dad lives overseas and is extremely wealthy so therefore paying his entire tuition out of pocket. i'm just saying it's not a lifestyle that meshes well with my future plans.

this is where the asshole part comes in: my bf genuinely thinks that we are going to spend the rest of our lives together. this started with small comments, things like alluding to the idea of our potential future kids (i love kids and raising my own is genuinely my end goal in life, something he knows just because i am very open about it), or talking about our future apartment/house, but now is basically just a constant conversation in our relationship. i try not to feed into it, but i also feel badly responding to his sweet comment when i point out a house i like on the street about how we'll buy it one day with something about how i don't ever see that happening. i generally just respond neutrally, but i will admit i get caught up in the fantasy sometimes and contribute to it as well.

he is such a lovely guy with a beautiful heart and i do really adore him, and it's not a situation where i don't want to spend the rest of my life with him. to be honest, that's the dream. i love him with everything i have and i would literally do anything for him. the problem is just that when he talks about this future together all i can picture is all the million ways our relationship is doomed to implode.

but we are happy right now, because me moving out of my family home is not something that is going to be possible for another 1-2 years, so none of those issues are something that are going to come up right now. i just forsee them being pretty much impossible obstacles between us and spending the rest of our lives together down the line. but i have this nagging feeling in the back of my mind that even though i want more than anything to be with him forever, the fact that i don't remotely beleive it's something that will actually work out still constitutes as leading him on.

so, am i the asshole for staying with him, because we are happy right now and these issues are not going to be relevant for another 1-2 years, and a solution might somehow present itself in that time? or is the right thing to do to just leave now, and rip off the bandaid?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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carpedzem · 2 months

Text

under the cut i want to talk a little bit, maybe overshare as well. ill try to keep it short (rereading nat here. i didnt). its a sad post, might make some of you angry but not for the reasons you think

i was staying away on purpose, but a few people asked about me so i wanted to let you know that hey, im lurking, im waiting to see what happens. maybe some things will change in the future but im putting it out here so its all in one place

i think i want to start with saying thank you again for sticking around, supporting my art and my thoughts and having discussions with me. i really opened up about myself and what I created here. im very anxious person and it influences my life on every level, so being heard, seeing people laughing at my jokes, loving my art has been so so important to me

about the situation, the gogcident if you will, i logged out as soon as i saw things going down and been getting updates though different source. and while situation is still on going and i dont know where it will go, as how it ends, theres two or three things im firm on that will always be true for me:

i really hate how believe all victims turns into believe everyone who speaks first, no matter what they say, no matter context, no matter proof. the first statement made in this case was untrue in a lot of important details and while i dont think caitis feeling are wrong or invalid i think her first statement made this situation into something it isnt. i think every victim should be heard but attacking everyone who was accused right away is not a solution

i do believe that everyone who was accused of anything has every right to defend themselves. the way its constantly taken away from dteam is not lost on me and its insane and upsetting

you can be traumatized by the events that werent in its core meant to be traumatizing. sometimes people act shitty and leave scars on you and sometimes you can do the same to other people

edited note bc i want this to be here as well: guilty until proven innocent is a crazy mindset and i cannot imagine situation that i would allow it. some idiots dont even realise how dangerous rhetoric that is. including accusers not being obligated to provide any proof of their claims

twt is the worst thing to deal with any discourse, misunderstanding or any delicate situation. i think no ones there cares for any victims period. i wish that place the worst

okay so what now. i havent decided yet. georges and dreams moves so far confirmed for me that no matter what happened it wasnt with malicious intentions. ill wait to see how this plays out and then ill decide about my next steps. one think i did for sure is i uninstalled twt from my phone (and that already bit my ass the moment dream started his space…) that part of fandom, both people who like (liked?) and hate dream is so damn self-destructive, toxic, manipulative and performative it wasnt worth it anymore. for here, i dont know yet. i dont hate dteam, i think this is very unfortunate and sad and complicated situation that left people very deeply hurt. and i wish it wasnt this way and im pretty sure dteam also wish that. but they cant change it and i cant change it even more

now this is something i dont really know how to tell you but let me try. i never mentioned this bc when i had those realizations, it was too late, everyone moved on and i felt stupid for dwelling on this. i feel stupid now, typing this. the thing is, drituation left me quite traumatized. fucking pathetic, i know. the sudden explosion of fandom left me really badly hurt. i lost a lot of people i genuinely believed to be friends with, and i miss them dearly. i felt, fuck it, still feel deeply betrayed by some of them. i dont want people guess who is who thats not the point, those people moved on long time ago. but that hurt has been really difficult to deal with, especially since realistically i know its quite stupid. crying over some people who were following me back for a few months? but i tried to let myself heal and grow love for this community again and i thought we will be okay. drituation felt like the end of the world but we got through it and I thought we are smarter. and well. im not trying to blame anyone or even a whole community, idk maybe i want to blame the universe for putting me here or society for working this way i dont know. but im hurting and i need to find a better way to deal with things going the wrong way. and it deeply upsets me but im afraid that i have to learn how to love you all less. and i honestly dont know yet what that means, how moving forward will look like. i dont have to make this decision now so i let myself stay away from social media for a while still and then go with presented situation the best i can. i dont try to make anyone responsible for my wellbeing i want to make this clear. im just trying to share my feelings and give you context for whatever happen in the nearest future. no matter what i need more healthy relationship not even with ccs but with community itself (and if you see me rebloging hazbin hotel fanarts. spare me...)

in this place i do want to state that no matter what i dont think dteam are bad people. im not closing myself at possibility of participating in the fandom, probably less though things i mentioned earlier. but if any of those things make you uncomfortable in any way, feel free to unfollow/softblock

im leaving my askbox open if anyone has anything to say, add, or idk, scream at me. not sure if i answer any tho. also if i delete this post in the next 10 minutes out of embarrassment then well, haha

on the final note i want once again thank you all for supporting me when i needed help for my cat. you all did something amazing, something i will never forget and i wish to hug everyone of you in person. thank you

see you around. one day. maybe tomorrow maybe in 10 days. idk

and if you are moving on in different direction, if we ever meet again, dont be a stranger

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