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#but storytime i guess
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Oh god.
This summer you sent our mutual friend a package, to get to me. An heirloom, a bit of camp history. Passed down to me.
And on that package, your phone number and address. Your phone number, that I had long deleted from my phone because the urge to call you was always too strong.
When I last saw you in person, you said that when you finally moved to the city it would be with your girlfriend. You would move in together. And surely, she would become your fiancee and then your wife.
There it is. On the package. Your new address, in the city.
I have to keep myself from calling you right now. You probably have my number blocked, and I truly don't know what I'd do if you answered. But I would give anything to hear your voice again.
Even if it's just you saying, "Hello? Who is this?" While her voice is in the background, asking you what you want for dinner.
At this point, I don't even need to be the voice in the background asking what you want for dinner.
I just wish I could be the voice on the other end of your phone call.
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radjerda · 8 months
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Story-time in Rivendell with Uncle Glorfindel! Elladan and Elrohir absolutely love going out adventuring early and listening to stories of old when offered the opportunity.
(Hopefully Glorfindel chose something more appropriate than the balrog story, this time.)
This piece is intended to be a panel of a comic that as of yet lives in my head, but it stands on its own (and I'm impatient), so I thought I'd share this as it is now
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kisiel-z-kosmosu · 2 months
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I may spent entire day drawing grocery store as sexy dauther of mafia boss that was supposed to be quick concept art before making a purpously cringe ship with another shop but at least it finally broke my months lasting art block 🙃.
Inspirations:
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The backstory: Once upon the time two of the most powerfull and common shops nations in Poland lived in relative harmony, until in the evening of fifth febuary this year the marketing team military council decided to make a mass attack. Spam sms army recruitment letters were send to all of lord Biedronka followers, informing of Lidls people inferiority and their cost of freedom (products) being much higher. The battle begun, Lidls soon made controfensive and set a battle line right beetwen both teritories. Sides are fighting with equal fury and determination and for now there isn't much advantege on any. Only time will tell what future awaits us.
The translation of one of many war latters receveid by people:
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So yeah, they have a beef now and i decided to make some fun of it ;>
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here's a gold coin for reading all of this lol.
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drowsydomme · 8 months
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somehow it's an unspoken rule that i'm the person in my social circles who orders for everyone while at a restaurant/cafe which is fine, right, except that occasionally a server/barista will get flustered because they like my voice so much 🥴
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rokokoprufei · 9 months
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I return to your timelines to share the story of when I forgot how mascot suits work and me being the same height as Goofy turned into a horrible curse
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misteria247 · 1 year
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So as y'all know I'm a huge fan of Raph from tmnt and I'm willing to die defending this hot headed powerhouse. But there's a specific reason why I'm so ready to do this very thing.
Cuz like Raph, there was a point in my life were I had a very short temper.
If you were to ever meet me you'd probably never guess that when I was younger I had a rather nasty temper. When I was little, I was one of those problem kids that teachers hated and that kids would bully just to get a reaction out of me. I'm talking like I'd lose my temper and all hell would break loose kind of problem child (though it'd later be revealed in my life that I was actually having meltdowns due to being on the Autism Spectrum but stuff like that wasn't talked about back in the day). Like I was so bad that I was in anger management somewhat. It was frustrating growing up because I was known as this kid who was hot headed, and a lot of times the reason why I was like that was because I was misunderstood quite a bit. To say the least it was a pretty lonely feeling, feeling like no one understood you and only reduced you to your temper when there's so much more than that to you. Basically I was in this constant state of frustration of not being understood by the people around me. And when you're a kid it's not a fun time.
But then 2003 came around and with it the 2003 series of tmnt came with it. It was this series that introduced me to Raphael Hamato.
From the moment I saw Raph I instantly noticed that much like me, he was short tempered. He got snappy and confrontational at times and was often times considered the problem child amongst his brothers due to his emotions and his sometimes violent reactions to certain things. And that just like me, Raph was always feeling frustrated because a lot of the time, the reason he'd lose his temper was because the people around him misunderstood him or didn't listen to him. He'd say things he didn't mean and get into fights that he'd later regret, he had a hard time explaining his feelings and keeping his cool whenever he got frustrated with something or someone. It was a constant struggle for him and yet he kept trying to do his best.
When I saw Raph, it was like seeing a reflection of myself in this red clad turtle. For the first time in my life there was a character who struggled with something that was somewhat out of his control. And being a six year old girl who experienced the very things Raph experienced was out of this world. Suddenly it felt like I wasn't as alone in this kind of struggle as I was before because Raph experienced it too. And just like me, Raph wanted to do better and he did do better. While Leo at the time was my favorite turtle, Raph was the turtle that I felt a personal connection too and who somewhat inspired me to do better. And as I grew older I grew out of my hot headed ways and learned to control my temper. Just as Raph did, I matured and got ahold of myself.
Which is why I defend this red clad turtle so fiercely, because I personally understand the struggle of having a bad temper and I know how difficult it can be to keep your head when it seems like no one understands you or what you're trying to say. It's why I say that Raphael Hamato is so much more than his temper.
Raphael taught me that it's okay to have a temper and that I could do better and learn and grow from it. That there was a chance that a fierce temper like mine could eventually be overcome and that I could be a better person in the long run.
So shout out to my personal hero since 2003, he's always gonna be my hero no matter what I will defend him to the end.
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bylrndgm · 4 months
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GOOD OMENS (2019 - ) 2.06 - Every Day 1.06 - The Very Last Day of the Rest of Their Lives
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siberian-xanadu · 3 months
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Welp. I am now officially and legally an Adult™️. What the fuck.
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Back in 2008 I was in this community theater production where I played a male guard alongside a gay guy friend of mine.
After the show wrapped, one of his longtime friends came up to him and said, "You did a great job playing a straight guy!"
She let him bask in that for about half a beat before looking at me and saying, "...But she did it better."
I still think about this.
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minyicho · 6 months
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so I was just thinking about that meme where it’s like “Jessica how could you sleep with your biology teacher” and my biology teacher in high school literally looked like live action burnt out adult jimmy neutron. He also really liked telling us fun facts about the digestive system like we would just be sitting there and he would just out of nowhere be like “do you guys wanna know why some farts are warm” and we’re all just like no thanks but he ignores us and tells us anyways. Once he was telling us his theory about how cavemen came from angels or whatever (being forced to learn about evolution in religious school things) and obviously me and my friends stoped paying attention to him the moment he started speaking and decided to draw borzois with highlighters instead. The ‘punishment’ for this was that he made the whole class watch these maggot removal videos which were basically like wow this kid has so many maggots in their ear. Oh and this was right before lunch too! So yeah I failed biology that year loll
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lady-of-imladris · 3 months
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pspspspspspspspspspsspspspspspspspsspssppssppspsps
<3
Buckle up, here comes the story of how I accidentally pavloved myself
It is the year 2021/2022, I am a young, somewhat ambitious university student buried under 25 urgent assignments and a gazillion exams. One night, my sister and I watch Hamilton. Good musical, I think to myself and carry on.
Background knowledge about me: when I am nervous (like the night before an exam) I CANNOT sleep. Multiple exams in a week? Yep. Can. Not. Sleep.
So I go to bed knowing I should really sleep because I have an exam (I think it was databases). Can I sleep? No. Do I suddenly have Hamilton (specifically "Nonstop") stuck in my head? YES.
For 6 FUCKING hours I laid there in the darkness with my eyes closed with this song in my head.
I was fed up so the next day after the exam I decide it's time for some exposure therapy.
So every day I woke up, put on Hamilton and studied. And that really helped. But (and this is where the guy with the dog comes into play) the next time I listened to Hamilton in the car or something I suddenly had the insane urge to work on all my assignments. After several such instances I came to the conclusion that I had successfully pavloved myself.
So now whenever I really don't want to do a task, I put on Hamilton. This is how I wrote 1k for my thesis today.
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virgil-isnt-a-lee · 3 months
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Kinda been procrastinating on this post for a hot minute but since I'm sick and icky, I guess I have time to sit and make it, yeah? God I'm never gonna live this down..
IT'S GONNA BE A LONG ONE Y'ALL
Okay so me and a certain someone were playing truth or dare, and like the bitch I am, I chose dare. And you KNOW WHAT THE DARE WAS??
"Ask someone you’re cool with IRL to tickle you 🙂" WHAT
WHAT WHAT WHAT?? EXACTLY MY THOUGHTS. SO I HAD TO THINK IT OVER. THEN THAT BLOCKHEAD SAYS TO ME
"Bonus points if you ask the one who said they know you love it" YOU DID NOT NEED TO CALL ME OUT LIKE THAT.
Then I was proposed an offer I literally couldn't refuse SO I TOOK THE DARE and I'm gonna tell you pookies how it went because it's been stewing in my brain for the last two days
So it STARTED when we were in math class and my friend (y'all know the one by now. Resident tickle monster. Mal knows his name, too) was already poking at my sides, which is expected of him by now, so I just looked at him and said "so are you gonna tickle me or not?" and he like looked at me, shrugged, and said "since you asked." AND I WAS TRYING NOT TO DIE YK I HAD TO BE CHILL ABOUT IT CAUSE I GOT A REPUTATION TO MAINTAIN. So he like, put his arm around my waist, pulled my over to him, and just started like SHAKING HIS HANDS INTO MY RIBS AND I WAS ACTUALLY FUCKING DYING I WAS SO GLAD THE CLASSROOM WAS LOUD AS HELL because at one point even the teacher looked over at me and kinda rolled his eyes fondly. ANYWAYS
After that we were in my next class together, and I KINDA knew I didn't REALLY finish my dare and I was thinking about it, apparently I was thinkin real hard cause he pokes my back and goes "alright what's up? You good? You're distracted. Like more distracted than usual, what is it?" And I was like DAMN??? WAS IT THAT OBVIOUS?? LIKE EXCUSE ME??
SO I TOLD HIM "can you like.. tickle me again? Idk I just kinda feel like it." AND HE JUST SHRUGGED AGAIN AND STARTED SQUEEZING MY SIDES AND SHIT and it's worse cause he sits BEHIND ME in that class so I was just like dying with my head in my hands and mdjfjdjfjsjd. That's it. And he LITERALLY SAID "You're welcome." When he was done???? HELL. I QAS SO FUCKIN FLUSTERED BUT LIKE HE DIDN'T MAKE ANY REAL COMMENTS ON IT
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shingekinomyfeelings · 4 months
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One of the few things I remember about my family's little house in Philly was that the pipes made a frightening grinding/churning sound when the toilet was flushed (or at least, little kid me with very little basis for comparison thought it was frightening) and that - while I knew it wasn't likely to happen - I had this nagging feeling that the toilet, when flushed, might eventually explode exactly like a geyser, so I would use the toilet, put the lid down, wash my hands, open the bathroom door, then stretch my leg out and flush the toilet with my foot before running out and closing the door behind me, so that if the toilet did explode at least I wouldn't be caught up in it.
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cinturon-cadena · 5 months
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My D&D Party!!
I can finally post this beautiful artwork that I commissioned from @bimborat for the D&D 5e game that I run online!!
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[From Left to Right: Giblet the Aarakocra Monk/Ranger/Fighter, Rael the Drow Druid, Raguel the Godling in the back, Asbel the Half-Elf Fighter/Warlock, Kori the Half-Elf Wizard, Ti the Aasimar Cleric/Artificer, and in the front veiled in shadow is Endrina the Shadow Demon patron of Asbel]
Bimborat aka Eldritch Blossom is an amazing and talented artist who churned this out for me in under a month! Go check out her Tumblr here and her Instagram here!
She was very patient and adaptable throughout the entire process, and obviously the results speak for themselves!! ❤❤
False Hydra Encounter Spoilers under the cut~
IF YOU ARE CURRENTLY EXPERIENCING ANY OF THE FOLLOWING AS A PLAYER, PLEASE DO NOT CONTINUE AS IT MAY SPOIL THE EXPERIENCE:
Random things (such as health potions) appearing on or around dead bodies
Extra beds in the Tavern/Hotel rooms you stay in
NPCs frequently referring to your Party as 1 person larger than it is
Allies/Enemies randomly becoming more damaged than they were a second ago
NPCs having inconsistent memories or selective amnesia
Empty houses that are fully furnished as if someone could live there, but NPCs insisting that "no one has ever lived there"
Ok, Storytime~
I'm DMing this D&D 5e Party online, and have been for nearly 2 years now. They've finally made it to level 11, so I can start throwing some really big bosses at them like the False Hydra.
I give one of my PCs, Ti, a note from a villager in the upcoming town, stating that they had the pleasure of meeting a friend of Ti's and that they should meet. This is a big deal, because Ti has been looking for this friend of his for a long time. He convinces the Party to come with him to meet his friend, and the Party arrives in the town.
The town is oddly quiet and empty, with only a few market stalls manned. They come across an odd homeless man that appears to be graffitiing the side of a house in charcoal with the words, 'LOOK UP'. When the Party attempt to communicate, he gives no indication that he can hear them and runs away.
Things get even stranger when they arrive at the address the letter was sent from. They are greeted by an eccentric Halfling Gnome! (definitely a Gnome!) inventor, who invites them to test his Nonmagiscry device - a contraption that is able to instantly capture the image of someone nearby without the use of magic. They agree and the inventor instructs the Party to pose for him. Afterwards they ask him about the letter and the mysterious cryptic note in the middle of it. However, not only does he have no idea what they're talking about or who Ti's friend is, but the panicked note that was embedded in the middle of the letter is gone!
Apologizing that he can't help the Party more, the inventor informs them that if they're looking for someone out of town, they should go to the tavern as it's a popular place for travellers.
They arrive at Larry's, a tavern named after the talented chef and owner. Inside, they find that most of the tables are empty, with only 1 or 2 patrons at the occupied tables spread out oddly throughout the tavern. Despite this, most of the tables are full with tankards of ale that haven't been touched, and the barista, Larry's wife, appears overwhelmed at trying to manage the half-empty establishment.
After some questioning and ordering of drinks, the Party finds out that someone matching the description of Ti's friend had passed through town some days ago, but they were being followed by 'mysterious figures in dark cloaks' (it's the cult problem they've been having to constantly deal with throughout their adventure).
They thank her for the information and get a room for 2cp/person - 12cp 10cp in total. The price includes a delicious breakfast made by her husband.
This is when things start to get really interesting.
The Party wakes up the next morning, and Rael has scratched 'IT'S WATCHING' on his own chest with his fingernails during his sleep (meditation, technically - dude's a Dark Elf).
This, naturally, causes the entire Party to Freak Out. They deliberate what to do before Kori the Wizard has an idea: he takes the small silver pocket mirror that he had bought the day before, and uses it to view the room.
They see that Rael and Ti's room window has been smashed from the outside through the mirror. They are on the second floor. And the window appears normal when they look at it without the aid of the mirror.
Taking it to the others' rooms also yields some interesting finds: in Kori and Giblet the Aarakocra's room they find scratching on every wall surface stating, 'IT'S WATCHING YOU IT'S ALWAYS WATCHING THE EYES THOSE HORRIBLE EYES', as well as a boarded-up window. In Asbel's room they find more broken glass and blood stains around the window. They also find an extra bag that doesn't belong to anyone.
Needing a break from this insanity, the Party decides to go downstairs and discuss their findings over breakfast. However, upon arriving they are served nothing but a meager burnt toast and coffee instead of the breakfast buffet they were promised from the barista's husband. Upon questioning the barista about it, she curtly informed them that she has never been married.
Taking their investigation outside, the Party discovers that the number of footprints in the snow around town seems to have more than doubled overnight. Using Giblet's tracking abilities, they follow a set of new footprints to an abandoned house with a wide-open gate that bears a sign saying, 'BEWARE OF DOG'.
They do not find a dog.
However, Giblet's keen eyes do find what the rest of the Party somehow missed: a doghouse in the backyard that seems to have been completely obliterated from above. As the Party examines it, both Giblet and Kori spot something in the back window of the house:
A pale, gaunt face with wet, hollow holes for eyes and a distended jaw filled with perfectly straight, white teeth. It is extended unnaturally as it sings a horrible song.
As they watch it, it seems to slink back further into the house.
The 2 lead the Party into the back of the back of the house in order to find out what this creature is. After some investigating, they find a storage closet with some potions of Blindness/Deafness as well as a potion of Clarity. They also find an empty bedroom with all the furniture from the entire house piled up in the closet.
Deciding to head back to where this all begun for them, the Party heads back down the street to the inventor's house. However, halfway there Rael gets the Feeling of Being Watched, and he can hear a horrifying melody being bellowed from somewhere behind the Party. The rest of the Party appear to be unaffected.
Slowly, carefully, Rael holds up the small silvered mirror that Kori had given him, and sees behind him a massive pale fleshy stalk that stretches up into the sky. At the top of the stalk is a pale, gaunt face with wet, hollow holes for eyes and a distended jaw filled with perfectly straight, white teeth. It is extended unnaturally as it sings a horrible song.
Rael does his best to Not Freak Out, and succeeds fairly well. He subtly informs the rest of the Party that they're Being Watched and that it might be a good idea to plug their ears (he has correctly assumed that the Singing is Bad).
The Party, unfortunately, are not so subtle, and begin frantically ripping their clothes and tying cloths around their heads in order to try and muffle their ears. The False Hydra sees what they're doing and attacks!
It goes after Rael first, since he's at the back of the group. Before the Party's very eyes, Rael seems to disappear out of nowhere. Rael can still see the Party from where he's being grappled in the Hydra's mouth, 20' in the air, but the Party seem unable to heed his cries.
Using his quick thinking and Monk training, Giblet stills his mind and is able to now hear Rael's cries, though he is still unable to see him. Flying up, Giblet, with Rael's instruction, manages to land a hit on the False Hydra and grab Rael's hand. Rael wildshapes into an ant and slips out of the False Hydra's jaw just as the beast bellows in pain and disappears down into the hole in the middle of the street.
Giblet, with Ant!Rael in tow, dive down after the monster. Kori reaches into the Bag of Requirement I provided the Party with at the beginning of the Adventure (so of course they've never used it until now), and rolls well enough to pull out Eyedrops of True Sight. He uses them and chases after his Party members, providing them with the eyedrops as well.
They descend down through the tunnels into the depths below the town, until they come across a massive cavern with a twisting labyrinth. Fortunately, Ant!Rael has an amazing sense of smell, almost as if ants' entire lives revolve around olfactory communication! So Giblet places Ant!Rael on his unfolded paper fan which acts like a protractor, and Ant!Rael indicates the direction in the maze with the most foul stench.
Using the AntProtractor, the Party make it to the centre of the maze, where the massive, bulbous mass of pale flesh sits with no less than 5 long fleshy stalks with horrifying heads at the ends.
The battle was long and hard, and had 2 phases so that when the Party thought they had won, I pulled a sike! on them and they had to fight it again. Multiple Party members were rolling Death Saves at the same time, multiple times in a row! (Remember, these guys are level 11; I'm allowed to be hard on them now)
One by one, they defeated each head until there was only one left. 2 Party members were in the process of being swallowed by this thing. Another was still in its jaws. Those not within its grasp were either being paralyzed or recovering from their Death Saves.
Then Ti, one of the Party members within the gullet of the False Hydra, Ti sliced its neck open Hercules-style and slayed the Final Head. The False Hydra was Dead.
(then I moved the turn order up and loudly announced it was the False Hydra's turn. And that it was Dead so it didn't get a turn :) My Party cussed me out after they recovered from the horror)
Tired but victorious, the Party burned the body and left the bowels of the town to return to the surface. They exited from a hole near the inventor's house, and Kori remarked that they still needed to see how the Nonmagiscry picture had turned out. Together, Giblet, Rael, Asbel, Kori, and Ti walked up to the inventor's door.
The inventor was suspicious at first, seeing to have regained awareness that there was a monster lurking about eating people at random. But after reassuring him that they had defeated the monster, he welcomed them in with open arms.
He retrieved the photo of the Party and gave it to the Five of them:
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There was a Sixth person in the photo.
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Lancer Metafiction! Have a few stories from the setting for my campaign settings.
So here's some fictional work by a fictional poet I made up for my setting representing her political ideology, Antihumanism. If you like it just let us know and we can post more. "His Table," and "What is the Purpose," by Guzman-Alessandra Evyln, Sunrise Gate Poet and Red-Dwarf Starchildren representative. His Table, “The hegemonist tells me I am human, too, yet when he says what human is, it is always wrong, always superficial, always changing. He has not known me more than a moment’s word, but declares me without consideration to be like him, that I sit at his table. I am not fooled, however; I know I am not welcome at his Hegemonist’s table, that the inhuman creature he describes is me, that the Hegemonist’s coils squeeze an image of my brief utterances and superficial presentation into a shape meant to represent my history, my truth, and my destiny. I know I do not hold the privilege of his Humanity. So then, if I am not a human, only a being subject to the violence of his coiled perception, then I must be antihuman. It is the only conclusion I can draw. I will take up the blade of my thought, and sever the roots this Humanity spreads from. It is the only way to defeat a Hegemonist. What is the Purpose? Why does the Union care about what a person is? A unionite humanist will tell you that union cares so that it can ensure that person has rights. It feels good to say and imagine, so it feels true. It feels right. It feels good to the unionite human and so that is where their thoughts end, mired by a comforting coil of thickened serpent bodies.
They do not follow the coils to untangle. They do not wonder where their serpents end: if union cares to identify persons so that it can give them rights, then they must also care to identify what non persons are, so they can strip those rights. That is how the blade of language sculpts you. It might seem ridiculous to say, to think, but ask yourself how many times personhood has been a debate. Ask yourself how many homunculi exist. Ask yourself why the only defense against cruelty is being a person, or being a human." Guzman-Alessandra Evyln, Sunrise Gate Poet and Red-Dwarf Starchildren representative.
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qserasera · 4 months
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why did no one tell me that the link click ED songs were Such a Bop!!!!
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