#but that's less that i have to shove into the tags of my actual posts so

[actual-changeling]

There has been a lot of talk about Aziraphale`s smile in the s2ep6 ending (he is planning something, he is going to rebel heaven etc...) That is not a happy, genuine smile. What do you think of it?

Ah, yes. The infamous elevator smile. This will get rather long, so congrats to you anon for getting me to write GO meta.

A (temporary) welcome back to Alex's meta corner version 2: expression interpretation. Buckle up, people, because we're going to be looking at Aziraphale's face for way too long.

A disclaimer:

Do not tag hate accounts or any accounts known to steal people's posts for the sole purpose of publicly harassing them.

Do not copy and/or repost any of my writing to another account without my express permission. Do not verbally abuse and/or harass me in the tags, replies, reblogs, or my inbox. If you disagree with me you are free to scroll past this post, block me, and move on.

If you want to have a discussion based on mutual respect while being fine to agree to disagree, then you may do so, I enjoy meta discussions as long as they're free of harassment.

Let's get to it.

People interpret his expression as him being confident or having some kind of plan, but those people are nitpicking frames and ignoring everything they don't want to see.

That smile appears right at the end after his face went through a series of different expressions, so let's have a look at what ACTUALLY happens.

These are in chronological order from left to right:

There is a LOT happening in each of them, and they show us something we have seen before—Aziraphale's reaction to not getting everything exactly the way he wanted it.

The first row goes from a more or less neutral, slightly upset expression to one of extreme petulance. He's tetchy because Crowley told him where to shove it for once (and rightfully so, Crowley does not deserve to be treated that way) and throws his second temper tantrum of the day.

Pay attention to the fourth one in particular, we have seen this exact facial expression before.

The one on the left is at the end of their argument about Gabriel in the bookshop, right before Crowley leaves.

This is not someone who possesses even an ounce of emotional maturity, it's someone who is used to getting exactly what he wants at the expense of others and was just told "No" for the first time.

It only gets even better from here (someone save me I need to bleach my eyeballs after this). The last image from the second row provides us with another great opportunity for comparison.

Let's call this one annoyed indignation.

We have moved on from him being purely petulant to begrudging acceptance that he was told "No" and cannot change it. After fucking with the Bentley against Crowley's will (and coercing him into giving it to him in the first place), he is now being told to change it back.

There are very few boundaries that Aziraphale hasn't trampled over in the last six thousand years, and the Bentley is one that Crowley will not and SHOULD NOT budge on. So he tells him no, change it back.

Aziraphale is being the cranky toddler who got told to stop throwing toys at the other kids but wants to keep doing it anyway—that's what this expression is giving us.

We have reached row 3, and I have two more key expressions I want to talk about.

Firstly, the first picture in that row.

As you might have guessed, we have seen Aziraphale wearing an incredibly similar expression before, and I chose what is (in my opinion) an underrated and very character-defining moment.

We are going all the way back to the first episode of season 1 and their conversation on the bench in St. James's Park.

To refresh your memory, Crowley is currently trying to convince Aziraphale that humanity is worth saving by listing everything Aziraphale himself would lose because he couldn't care less about humanity or earth. He cares about himself and himself only.

Aziraphale tells Crowley that, of course, heaven will win, all demons will be tortured for eternity, and it will "all going to be rather lovely". A direct quote from the script book and the episode, by the way.

Why does this matter? Because, dear reader(s), just a few minutes prior to him stepping into the elevator, he expressed that exact sentiment again. His opinions has remained unchanged since even before Eden, and his final argument with Crowley did not change it either.

Hell is bad = hell will lose, heaven is good = heaven will win. And heaven winning will be amazing and great for everyone excluding those that will be tortured forever and ever. Crowley being one of those people is a fact Aziraphale intentionally refuses to acknowledge because doing so would mean having to think about what he's saying to Crowley—and he's not done that ever.

The expression Aziraphale wears in both scenes is condescending arrogance. He not only thinks himself to be better than everyone else, he thinks that, as an angel, he is incapable of doing wrong. That is what he is telling himself in the elevator—you made the right choice, you're an angel, you cannot do wrong, you're on the side of good.

He is egocentric and selfish, and that brings us to the last image of row 3 aka his "smile" in the elevator. This, too, is a smile we have encountered before. Just a few minutes earlier, actually.

This, dear reader(s), is the epitome of Aziraphale's superiority complex and disregard for everyone else.

Before you start typing up your furious response that will be 50% insults and 50% wishful thinking, hear me out.

I have talked about that "I forgive you" before, you can find it floating around my meta tag (and if you ask me very nicely I might even go find it for you), but allow me to summarize my conclusions.

Throughout the final fifteen (F15), Aziraphale is not entirely aware just how badly his words are harming Crowley. The complete lack of self-reflection and incapability of considering anyone else's world view does that to someone, but at least it's largely accidental.

I would be willing to cut Aziraphale a lot of slack for a number of different reasons that I don't want to get into right now. Emphasis on "would" because then he goes and screws up.

For the first time, Aziraphale is being openly and intentionally cruel with the sole purpose of hurting Crowley.

His face goes through a number of similar expressions, which can you observe here:

Cruel smile followed by cruel words.

It doesn't matter what he might have meant or what exactly that phrase symbolizes for either of them, because it's clear that

a) they are both familiar with it

b) Aziraphale has used it before

c) it is always harmful towards Crowley

d) it comes with the expectation that Crowley apologizes and takes the blame for everything that went down.

Aziraphale has not once apologized to Crowley for anything in his entire existence.

That smile in the elevator is Aziraphale convincing himself of and/or solidifying existing beliefs, namely that Crowley is in the wrong, Aziraphale is correct and doing the right thing, and that he is still superior to Crowley. It's him convincing himself that hurting Crowley in the way he did was either unavoidable (it wasn't) or justified (it wasn't). It's an open display of arrogant cruelty and undeserved self-confidence.

Aziraphale does not have a plan. This is not a happy smile nor is it related to any future happenings or actions.

This smile is entirely related to the F15 and his argument with Crowley. An argument which mirrors the first one they have over Gabriel, which, shocker, ends with Aziraphale denying any responsibility or wrong-doing and forcing Crowley to apologize and humiliate himself for something that was not his fault. Aziraphale fucked up, not him, but Aziraphale will never voluntarily acknowledge or accept that.

If they meet again before Aziraphale gets a kick up the arse and some character development, he will demand an apology from Crowley, and I am 100% convinced of that. Quote me on that in a few years if you like, but unless he figures his shit out first, he'll blame Crowley for anything and everything he desires.

So, to summarize, what do I think of the elevator smile?

Aziraphale is, for all intents and purposes, throwing a temper tantrum. I think it's an amalgamation of Aziraphale's current emotional and mental status and the lack of character development. First fight, last fight, both end the same way, both end with Aziraphale learning absolutely nothing.

He's not planning, he's not thinking.

He is telling himself that he is right and everyone else is wrong, and that he alone can change heaven for the better. THAT is the Aziraphale we will come back to in the beginning of season 3, and Michael Sheen did a damn good job of showing us all of that in one credits scene.

#alex answers asks #alex talks good omens #good omens #crowley #aziracrow #aziraphale #good omens season 2 #go2 #good omens meta #crowley x aziraphale #ineffable husbands #ineffable wives #the final fifteen #ineffable spouses #ineffable divorce #aziraphale meta #good omens season 3 speculation

[matan4il]

You know...I was scrolling through my fandom tags and what do I come across? My fav fan couple wearing pro-palestinian garb and holding a sign that said "fuck zionists!" What sucks is that I genuinely like their art but I'm pretty sure they support Hamas (they just won't admit it). Sorry, I just need to vent...I feel like I'm being pushed out of a lot of fandom spaces simply because I don't support the slaughter of innocent people. I always love your content, it makes me smile so much.

Oh, Nonnie! *hugs* I feel you...

Thing is, they don't even have to say, "We support Hamas." Saying, "Fuck Zionists" when that translates to, "Fuck the overwhelming majority of Jews" or to, if you will, "Fuck the Jews who actually believe Jewish people deserve equal rights, which includes the equal right to self-determination!" is bad enough.

It's equivalent to saying "Fuck feminists!" knowing full well that this is a call against most women, and specifically the ones who believe in equal rights for women, or saying "Fuck abolitionists!" knowing full well that most black people wanted to abolish slavery and fought for that from a place of believing black people deserve to be treated as equal. Someone holding up a "Fuck abolitionists!" sign doesn't need to also state openly, "I support the KKK!" You know what I mean?

And it sucks. It sucks SO MUCH to see someone that you appreciated, maybe even looked up to, choosing hatred. Just because it may be currently popular, doesn't make it any less an act of hate. You just keep your head held high knowing YOU didn't choose hate, no matter how popular and socially rewarded it currently is, especially in online fandom spaces, and that this matters more than all the good fandom content in the world. And also, that you're not alone. I think the Eurovision public voting has proven that the people who are loud, while still dangerous, are just that, loud. They use their noise to convince us they're the masses, but when push comes to shove, many people who might stay silent most of the time ARE capable of choosing the side that ISN'T hateful and violent.

I hope you find better people whose art you can also enjoy, and never feel alone! You can always vent on my blog. Sending you lots of hugs and love! xoxox

(for more of my posts regarding Israel, click here)

#israel #antisemitism #israeli #israel news #israel under attack #israel under fire #terrorism #anti terrorism #hamas #antisemitic #antisemites #jews #jew #judaism #jumblr #frumblr #jewish #israelunderattack #ask #anon ask

[solarmorrigan]

Requested by @westifer-dead (I think?? I hope that was directed at me)

This probably wasn't what you had in mind, but in my defense, it absolutely was not what I planned on writing. It sorta snuck up on me. I hope this is okay, though <3

🖤 kissing while crying / goodbye kiss / desperation

Prompt from this post

Tags/CW: transmasc Steve, fairly explicit depiction of menstruation, resulting mentions of blood, mentions of dysphoria, Steve's internal dialogue is rather unkind to himself in this one (soft ending, though??)

-

Steve’s first, horrified thought when he wakes feeling an uncomfortable amount of damp sticking his boxers to his skin is that he’s somehow managed to piss the bed.

The immediate wakefulness caused by that thought, however, is enough to give him a second one – particularly when he feels the ache low in his gut and spreading down his hips as he rolls over to toss the covers back and reveal the red stain on both his underwear and the sheets.

Fuck.

He’s early.

His period shouldn’t have been along for another couple of days, at least, and Steve hadn’t even thought about putting on a pad before getting into bed—he glances at the clock—two hours ago.

“Motherfucker,” Steve hisses.

He’d gotten home from the world’s most frustrating late shift sometime after midnight and had actually managed to get to sleep by one, and now his body is pulling this shit on him – waking him with pain and mess at three in the goddamn morning, days before it had any right to. And now his boxers are probably toast, and the sheets might be salvageable but he’s going to have to get up and change them right now, and he’s so fucking tired, and it’s three in the morning, and when he shifts to sit up, he’s caught for a moment by the sticky-slick feeling of blood drying against his skin.

He does his best to swallow back the feeling of nausea that creeps up on him at the sensation,  but it’s something he hasn’t had the stomach for since being covered in Eddie’s blood after hauling him out of the Upside Down, and the cramps really aren’t helping.

It’s for all these reasons that he’s probably less gentle than he could be when he reaches over to shake Eddie awake.

“Eddie, wake up.”

Eddie groans and rolls over, curling up with his back to Steve.

Steve huffs and gives him a shove. “Eddie.”

“S’early,” Eddie grumbles. “G’way.”

Normally, Steve doesn’t mind Eddie’s steadfast refusal to wake up for anything less than three alarms and the promise of coffee. Sometimes he even has fun with it, seeing how quickly he can rouse Eddie with other sorts of promises. Right now, though, he has less than no patience, and he grabs his pillow and whacks Eddie in the side with it.

“Wake up!”

“Whatthefuck,” Eddie gasps, bolting upright and glancing around the room for his assailant.

Later, Steve might feel bad; for now, he only drawls, “You awake now?”

“Did you hit me with a pillow?” Eddie demands, eyeing the weapon in Steve’s hands.

“You wouldn’t wake up,” Steve says. “I need you to get up for a minute.”

“What? Why, what’s– oh.” Eddie much catch sight of the mess as Steve twists to shove the pillow back behind himself. “Shit.”

Steve’s face heats with embarrassment. “Shut up,” he snaps. “Just get out of the bed.”

Clumsily, Eddie moves to obey. “I didn’t mean–”

“It’s– never mind, I shouldn’t have snapped, sorry, just–” Steve sighs. “Just let me change the sheets.

He strips the comforter from the bed and rolls it up to toss it into the chair in the corner of the room to be put back on when he’s done, but he doesn’t make it much farther before his body betrays him with another wave of squeezing cramps and a dribble of blood sliding down the inside of his thigh from under the loose leg of his boxers.

He swears and lunges for the tissue box on his bedside table to catch the drip before it can hit the floor, and he can hear Eddie hiss a breath in through his teeth – it’s probably in sympathy, Steve recognizes distantly, but in the moment he still feels like he might die of shame.

“Let me– let me get cleaned up. Just a minute,” Steve mutters, balling the tissue up in his fist and making for the dresser. “Then I’ll finish with the sheets.”

“Why don’t you go take a quick shower?” Eddie suggests quietly. “I can finish the sheets.”

Yanking a pair of briefs out of the dresser, Steve slams the drawer shut. “I can clean up my own damn mess, Eddie.”

“I know you can, but you don’t have to,” Eddie says, much more patiently than Steve probably deserves. “I’m betting you’ll feel ten times better if you get the chance to rinse off, so go ahead. You know how much I love wrestling with the fitted sheet.”

Steve should probably say no. It’s stupid to make Eddie clean up after him when he’s perfectly capable of doing it himself.

He should say no, but he doesn’t want to.

He glances back at Eddie, who looks nothing but sincere in his offer, and nods. “Thanks,” he mumbles, and Eddie gives him a little smile and a nod in return.

In the bathroom, Steve makes the water as hot as he can stand it and pops two Advil before stripping and shoving his boxers straight into the trash. If he tried hard enough, he might be able to get the stain out, but he doesn’t have the mental fortitude to contemplate doing that right now. His t-shirt has been spared any blood, but he puts it in the hamper to be washed, anyway. It just feels dirty now.

There are some months where Steve’s period comes and goes without any fuss; it’s an inconvenience and a bit of a drain, but hardly worth comment. Then there are some months that shove Steve headfirst into ten different stages of dysphoria and various neuroses for no apparent reason.

This one feels like it’s going to be the latter.

Even once he’s standing under the shower spray, the blood already sluiced down the drain, Steve doesn’t feel like he’s ever going to be clean again. He knows it’s his shitty brain lying to him, he knows that the feeling will go away in a few days—a week, at most—but that doesn’t help him now.

He wastes an extra ten minutes in the shower, trying to convince himself he’s only staying in because the hot water is helping his cramps (only partially true; he’s so tense that they haven’t really abated, and in fact have crawled up his sides now, seizing on the scar tissue from his bat bites and yanking his whole abdomen in tight, but he’s hoping it will help with his cramps), but he does eventually manage to force himself out and dry off.

With the fuck-off-biggest pad he owns shoved into his underwear, Steve heads back to the bedroom and stops short inside the door.

The lights are still dim, and Eddie is waiting up for him, sitting against the pillows with his book. He’s not only changed the sheets and fixed the comforter, but he’s laid out a pair of pajamas for Steve – the exact pair he prefers when he’s having a particularly bad day. And for some reason, that’s it for Steve.

The tears hit before he can even try to choke them off, and Eddie must not be very immersed in his book, because the first ragged breath is enough to alert him to the fact that something is wrong.

He looks almost wounded when he catches sight of Steve standing in the doorway like a weepy idiot, and Steve would feel bad, but Eddie’s already up and out of the bed and coming towards Steve with his arms open in offering.

And with anyone else, Steve would shy away; this isn’t a part of him that anyone needs to see, this weakness and inability to cope. But from Eddie– even as stupid as Steve feels right now, he knows he doesn’t have much that he needs to hide from a man who will help him clean up his own blood and then offer to hold him while he cries about it.

He accepts the hug, allows himself to be led back over to the bed and sat down, and then lets himself be held.

Eddie presses his lips to Steve’s forehead and then swipes his thumbs over Steve’s cheeks, wiping away whatever tears fall and kissing him there, too, like he can replace the evidence of his distress with love.

And hell, maybe he can.

In a while, Steve will want to get dressed and they’ll both need some actual rest, but for now, Steve thinks he’s more than willing to sit and let Eddie try.

#westifer-dead #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #transmasc steve harrington #ftm steve harrington #stranger things #no I will not use consistent tags! apparently! #cw dysphoria #cw menstruation #let me know if there's anything else I should tag for that I missed! #anyway this one got super out of hand I am sorry #solar wrote #eddiesteve

[wileys-russo]

Lucy bronze and reader are in a secret (not quite) relationship. Reader is Georgia stanways sister and therefore Leah’s honorary sister, and the two have their suspicions you’re seeing someone but won’t tell them. They think it’s Alessia you’re dating because she’s your best friend and the two of you are always together. But you and Lucy get drawn as room mates for camp and maybe there’s a hickey or two that isn’t covered up properly and that’s when the ball drops? And when confronted lucy just is quite casually like “yeah that’s my girlfriend. And?” Shocking reader as well because they’ve never actually talked about it before

girlfriend II l.bronze

"nah i'm telling you g it's gotta be less." "but they're just mates!" "mates who are together all the time. they even live together, no?" "well she said she's inbetween places while she waits to see if her contracts renewed." "georgia...they're dating."

"whose dating?" keira interrupted her best friends, taking a seat at their table and placing down her tray of food, shoving away leah's hand who reached for her packet of crisps.

"y/n and alessia." leah announced matter of factly as georgia hummed, still not completely convinced. "and exactly how have you come to this conclusion?" keira sighed before taking a bite of her banana, staring blankly at the two blondes across from her whose gazes were focused on the other stanway sister sitting across the dining hall.

"well. she's been staring at her phone a lot lately all smiley but a different kind of smiley, then she keeps posting them photos of someone else on her instagram but not tagging them, she dodges our facetimes saying shes out with a friend but won't tell me who-" georgia started to recount as keira hummed, completely unconvinced.

"- and then the other day when we was at our parents place she was clearly on the phone to someone and was dead giggly, but then i walked in and she went all weird and hung up." georgia rolled her eyes.

"and this makes you think she's dating alessia?" keira narrowed her eyes. "no! that's leahs theory. but i know she's datin someone and we're gonna find out who." georgia replied firmly as leah hummed in agreement, keira shaking her head.

"well don't include me in this we, cause this is not gonna end well gee. leave her be! she's got a right to privacy much as you have." keira chastised as georgia merely scoffed.

"not in this family she hasn't."

~

"who ya textin then?" you were quick to turn off your screen as your younger sister collapsed beside you on a beanbag, shoving her away and mumbling about personal space.

"looking awfully chipper there aren’t we my girl." you sighed as leah immediately flopped down on your other side, slipping your phone into your pocket and trying to leave, only to be pulled right back down.

"i was smiling at a tiktok, can i help you both solve any other mysteries holmes and watson?" you huffed, fed up with your sisters consistent prying into your personal life, just trying to enjoy the down time before training this afternoon, all of you currently in camp preparing for the euros squad selection in just a few weeks time.

"yes you can matter of fact. you can help us figure out who you're dating!" georgia beamed as your face dropped and you tried to get up with a huff, leahs hands grabbing at the back of your jumper and tugging you down again as she stretched an arm across your shoulders.

"that's none of your business. lee get off me!" you grunted at leah who effectively held you down into the beanbag. "so you are dating someone then?" georgia gasped, clapping her hands together gleefully as you rolled your eyes.

"i didn't say that. i just said that topic is none of your business!" you warned as your sister waved you off. "yes it is. so whose the lucky lass? or lad? no judgement here!" georgia shrugged as you glared daggers into the side of her head.

"no one. you always do this georgia, i'm sick of it!" you growled and leah sensing you were actually starting to become upset quickly let you go as you shot to your feet.

"you're a nosy little cow and you're always sticking it in my business. my personal life is mine and the more that you, and you, try to pry into that the further i'm gonna ice you both out." you glared at both blondes sitting on the beanbags before storming off, alessia watching from the other side of the room with a concerned frown and hurrying off after you.

"see? told you. dating!" leah pointed it out with a nod, georgia shrugging in somewhat agreeance as keira appeared in front of them with her arms folded and a stern look on her face. "what?" leah frowned as the girl shook her head at them.

"are you happy now? thats clearly upset her and the pair of you aren't even sorry. just leave her be!" was all the brunette warned before walking off again.

~

"she's relentless!" you groaned, head slumping back onto the older girls chest as her hands gently massaged your shoulders whilst you sat inbetween her legs on the bed.

"she's just being your sister, she cares about ya." lucy chuckled, finding the whole situation quite amusing as she tried to ease the mounting tension in your neck.

"i wish she didn't! thank god we got roomed together or else i don't think i'd be able to see you all camp. she's probably paid someone off to follow me round!" you rolled your eyes with another huff, folding your arms over your chest.

"aih grumpy, settle down or you're gonna pull a muscle." you felt her body vibrate with quiet laughter behind you, eased by her thick northern accent as she pressed a kiss to the back of your neck.

"easy for you to say. they haven't a clue we're sneaking around so you're off their radar, they think i'm dating less of all people!"

"sneaking around then are we?" "well what else would you call this?" "hey you were the one who told her and leah you're staying with alessia instead of with me, no wonder she thinks you're dating the two of you are practically attached at the hip."

"jealous are we bronzey?" you turned around to give her a teasing grin as the brunette rolled her eyes and shoved your face away, shuffling back on the bed a bit and laying down.

"don't need to be, i'm well aware of everything i do to ya that less certainly couldn't." lucy now smirked as your cheeks tinted pink and you smacked her leg, climbing on top of her as her hands settled on your thighs.

"she could! what would you know anyway?" you grinned as you slowly leant in, much too slow for lucys liking who tugged on the collar of your jumper, pulling you down into a kiss.

"much more than you know kid." lucy sat up and flushed your body closer into hers, lips beginning to attack at your neck as your eyes fluttered close, feeling her large warm hands begin to roam your body.

"your ego needs checking." you chuckled with a small shake of your head, her confidence being one of the things that had attracted you to her the most the night you'd first began this little series of hook ups.

in all honesty you weren't sure what the two of you were, you'd not really had that conversation yet in the month or so you'd been seeing one another, staying with her in manchester while you navigated the impending transfer season.

"there's other parts of me that require checking right now love!" lucy smirked and you squealed as she quickly flipped the two of you, her taller form now hovering over yours as her lips teasingly brushed yours.

her hand slipped up your jumper and pressed you down into the bed as you tried to kiss her, her lips once again attaching to your neck as you pushed your head back into the pillow with a sigh of pleasure.

"you know sarinas rule." you managed to breathe out feeling her nip at your neck, hissing in both pain and pleasure as her tongue traced the mark she just created.

"ay, no sex. but there's plenty we can do that's not that."

~

"nobody better notice, it's bad enough having her on my case for smiling at my phone. once she see's this she's gonna bury me!" you glared at lucy as the two of you exited the room to head down to dinner, tugging your hood over your head as the older girl simply smiled and wrapped her arm around your shoulder.

"incoming!" you braced as you heard an all too familiar voice, a body charging into you from behind and jumping onto your back as you tried to stay on your feet but failed miserably, crashing to the ground and taking georgia with you.

"you're such a dickhead!" you groaned out in pain, shoving her off of you as leah came bounding up behind her, rubbing at your head which had thumped against the ground at the sudden attack.

"excuse me what is that?" leah asked with an accusatory tone, pointing to your neck with a stern glare as you were quick to flip your hair over your shoulder and tug your hood up.

"nothing." you dismissed, trying to get to your feet but crying out as georgias body again slammed into yours, the two of you rolling around on the floor before she eventually sat on top of you and pinned your hands under her knees.

"georgia get off man! this isn't the wwe." you grunted, struggling underneath your younger but seemingly stronger sister who tugged your hood off and gasped at the dark red hickey on your neck.

"who gave you that! where's alessia?" georgia looked around as you rolled your eyes. "probably in her own room. she's my best friend georgia we are not dating, you're deluded!" you dismissed the accusations as leah looked between you, lucy and the hotel room you'd both just come out of, cogs turning in her head before it clicked.

"you!" leah pointed accusingly to the taller brunette, georgia looking around and then putting the pieces together before her jaw dropped and you took the opportunity to shove her off of you, standing quickly to your feet.

"aye, she's my girlfriend. and?" lucy stated quite casually as her arm again slipped over your shoulder and you turned to her with a look of surprise, the shock only hitting leah and georgia further.

"see you at dinner then." lucy smiled, tugging you with her as she headed off toward the elevator, leaving a stunned leah and georgia in her wake as the doors closed behind you.

"girlfriend?" you asked with a surprised smile, the midfielder shrugging calmly. "is this you asking me or telling me?" you took a step away from her and folded your arms over your chest.

"asking, but then again you're only human...so is it even a question?" the girl smiled smugly and you scoffed, smacking at her chest as she pulled your body into hers, trapping you in a tight hug.

"your confidence is nauseating." you fake gagged as she rolled her eyes. "acting like you don't love it." she promptly shut you up with a kiss, pressing your body into the wall beside you before the doors opened and she pushed herself away, offering you a hand as the two of you stepped out, missing your sister come flying out of the fire exit having sprinted down the stairs.

"LUCY COME HERE I'M GONNA KILL YA!"

#woso x reader #woso #woso fanfics #woso imagine #engwnt #woso blurbs #lucy bronze x reader #lucy bronze

[landonorizzz]

SUMMARY: pierre is not the boyfriend of the year that everyone thought. his girlfriend is left to fend for herself, fourtunately she seems to have good people in her corner PAIRING: pierre gasly x ex! fem! ferrari media team! oc , [redacted] x fem! ferrari media team! oc (no faceclaim) WARNINGS: mentions of cheating, cursing A/N: this is my first one, it was supposed to be y/n BUT i just didn't like how it looked? idk, i needed to have a name so everyone meet Marceline ;)) A/N 2: this one's very twitter heavy, idk why, also we meet new characters

masterlist | previous next

liked by marcilazzaro1, vincent_fabbri and others

brunolazzaro03 next time i see him it's on sight

tagged: marcilazzaro1

(this is a private account, you cannot reply to this post)

see all comments...

marcilazzaro1 oh baby brother, i love you too

↳brunolazzaro03 okay okay, just stop stealing my ice cream

landonorris and what are you gonna do, you're like 12

↳brunolazzaro03 im 20 and i've been training karate since i was 6 ;)) ↳landonorris ah, got it.

maxverstappen1 can i help?

↳brunolazzaro03 i mean, i guess? can you fight? ↳charles_leclerc no, he cannot. he's like a kitten ↳maxverstappen1 i CAN fight wtf, estebanocon can confirm ↳estebanocon that wasn't a fight, it was a shove

charles_leclerc oh shit you did karaoke without me? i'm hurt

↳brunolazzaro03 don't worry, you didn't miss much. she was awful ↳marcilazzaro1 oh i'm sorry that i was having fun and not singing like a pop star ↳charles_leclerc i'm sure it wasn't that bad, but you are legally obligated to go to a karaoke bar with us now ↳marcilazzaro1 name a time and place

view more...

marci's messages:

Marci: Okay, so I do have questions. Apparently.

Claire Ask away, I've told you I'm here to answer anything I can.

Marci: He was in Milan for 17-19th June. Did you meet up then?

Claire: Wait a sec, I'll check the messages.

Claire: He texted me on the 17th, we met up the next day.

Marci: Fucking hell

Marci: What a fucking dickhead

Marci: I can't believe him

Marci: No, actually, I can't believe myself! How could I be so stupid? I KNEW something was up.

Claire: What happened?

Marci: My birthday's June 18th. I had to be in the UK for work, tried to get him to come with me as well, but he said he was needed at the factory.

Claire: What the fuckk

Claire: I'm so sorry this happened to you and for my involvement in it.

Claire: Merda, che proprio stronzo

Claire: The audacity. And his dick ain't even that good.

Marci: Jesus. Ain't that the truth

Marci: What are you doing this weekend? I still have questions and I'd rather to talk about it face to face

Marci: If that's okay with you of course.

Claire: Yeah, sure.

liked by sebastianvettel, lance_stroll and others

marcilazzaro1 last moments in paradise ☀️ thank you for being my friends 💛 miss you already!

tagged: brunolazzaro03, sarah_scott, alliebanks, jonas_braun and jo_king

see all comments...

jonas_braun you gotta have more free weekends

↳ marcilazzaro1 yeah, let me just say that to the big boss i'm sure he'll be very happy about that ↳ jo_king scuderiaferrari ;) ↳ scuderiaferrari sorry, boss says she's essential ↳ marcilazzaro1 🤠

sundaylover hope you had a good break! ferrari media is different without you

↳ cuddlyriccx right??? it's way less entertaining ↳ elplanxincoming and charles is not enthusiastic at all lol

yukitsunoda0511 i found a good restaurant for singapore so you better come back

↳ marcilazzaro1 i can't wait!

shithappens this is so precious to me, you don't understand

danielricciardo so is my favorite media perosn coming back to work?

↳ marcilazzaro1 i need to make a short pitstop first but yeah ;) ↳ madi_races pitstop? ↳ marcilazzaro1 🤫

charles_leclerc can't wait to have you back!

↳ ilpredestinatox i NEED to know which side is charles on here

↳ cuddlyxricc so true bestie

carlossainz55 come back, they're making us do challenges without you

view more...

MONZA post race interview:

liked by sebastianvettel, clairobernie_x and others

marcielazzaro1 turns out that the only good thing about him was his taste in women ;)

tagged: clairobernie_x

see all comments...

ilpredestinatox IM SORRY???? RUE WHEN WAS THIS

elplanxincoming OH this is petty, I LOVE THIS

sundaylover this is the solidarity we need

↳shithappens she's a girl's girl 🥺

maxverstappen1 so that's what you're doing instead of working?

↳marcielazzaro1 i have boss' permisson so shush

fonzlove that's some queen shit right here

↳aussieboi YES

multi21apologist is NO ONE gonna mention the seb like??

↳ redmilton honestly, he's been in her likes for ages (since he made an acc i guess) so im kinda... used to it?

clairobernie_x who knew medicore sex could make this happen ;)

↳marcilazzaro1 CLAIRE 😳 ↳barbiegirl i just know pierre is reading this shaking in his boots

danielricciardo that's some fine views right there

sarah_scott and you didn't take me??

↳marcilazzaro1 next time babes, i promise

charles_leclerc this is amazing

↳clairobernie_x we know ;) ↳madi_races oh i like her, can we keep her?

nyoomf1 WHAT IS GOING ON IN THE HOUSE OF COMMOMS

view more...

liked by marcilazzaro1, sebastianvettel and others

clairobernie_x girls just wanna have fun (and bitch about stupid men)

tagged: marcilazzaro1

see all comments...

landonorizz i'm so happy they're friendly

madi_races oh they're so pretty

↳forzalec16 right??? im SO gay

marcilazzaro1 it was so good to officially meet you

↳clairobernie_x i'm so glad i reached out

shithappens this dynamic is precious, i don't wanna say "thank you pierre" but........

↳marcilazzaro1 thank you Pierre ;) ↳shithappens your honor i LOVE HER

view more...

madi's radio: pt. 2 is here! next ones might take some time cause i'm just swamped with course work and i have a buch of exams this week, sorry. also how are we liking the characters and dynamics so far?

tag list: @sunny44 @rockyhayzkid @biancathecool @unluckyyoshi

click here to be added to the carved my name taglist!

DISCLAIMER: i do not know anything about this people, this is not real life, this is just something for fun, i do not know anythings about their life or personalities!

#f1 #red bull f1 #f1 smau #f1 instagram au #max verstappen #pierre gasly #pg10 #alpine f1 #esteban ocon #lance stroll #lando norris #for fun #sv5

[steviewashere]

Leaving is Hard, But Loving You is Easy

Rating: General CW: None Apply Tags: Post-Canon, Post Season 4, Future Fic, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst With a Happy Ending, Eddie Munson is Leaving Town, Saying Goodbye, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Kisses, Making Out, Love Confessions, Eddie Munson is a Sweetheart, Steve Harrington is a Sweetheart, Steve Harrington Loves Eddie Munson, Eddie Munson Loves Steve Harrington

💕—————💕 He watches Eddie Munson leave in the middle of a Wednesday evening, 1991. It’s just turned 6:10PM and the sunlight is dipping low. There’s a chill in the air. Though he’s wearing a sweater, the breeze is felt more with the expected absence that will be left. Maybe he shouldn’t have befriended the guy over the last several years. If it meant he’d be standing and staring at the guy’s back. Watching him lug boxes into a van that’s probably older than the both of them. Toying with the collar of his sweater like the soothed over fabric will warrant him to not be so lonely. Maybe it doesn’t help that it smells like cigarettes. Steve doesn’t smoke anymore.

“That’s everything, I think. Well, I’m hoping,” Eddie’s saying, turning around. His voice is low and raspy tonight. Like it is when it’s been overused. Makes sense, considering he’d been talking through goodbyes and big plans and sincere farewells. Steve’s the last on his list. He’s not sure whether to feel heartbroken or…Who is he kidding? Of course he’s heartbroken.

One doesn’t become friends with somebody like Eddie Munson and then not be overcome with emotion when he leaves. But also. He doesn’t want to just be friends. Steve holds to himself, tight around the elbows, hunching inwards. Maybe if he’s small, the leaving will hurt less. He also doesn’t allow himself to look. Instead focused on a spot of rust on the van’s bumper. At the brand new DMV sticker on his license plate; it won’t expire for a while now. When he’s not even in Hawkins anymore. When he’s long gone elsewhere.

Eddie sits down right where Steve’s looking. Legs extended in front of him. A cigarette dangling between his chapped lips. Not even lit up. He doesn’t have a lighter right now anyway. Steve should know, Eddie’d been complaining about it for the last three days. He mumbles around the stick, “I’m not going to miss this place.”

“Really?” Steve finds himself asking. Though, he realizes it comes out more as a sigh. A breath. A certain type of mourning. He zeroes in on the knee hole of Eddie’s jeans. Large and manmade. Rippling on the edges and cinched oddly from strings of taut denim that Eddie has since plucked away. Probably from toying with the hole too much. From being restless on Steve’s couch during movie nights or birthed from slow lulls in Dungeons & Dragons campaigns or simply made from being shoved over in games of tag at Hopper’s barbecues.

“Well, yeah, Stevie,” Eddie says. As if it should be obvious. “People don’t like me ‘round here. I’ve felt that way for years. Now it’s my chance to leave.” He sighs through his nose. Like he’s actually smoking the cigarette in his mouth. Then, he continues quietly, “The only good thing to come out of…That hellhole and everything…Was the money to keep me silent. Put it away safely. Now, I’m gonna use it to find myself in a place where I’ll just be a speck. Nobody knows me, that kind of shit.”

Steve nods slowly. Agreeing minutely. If only because Eddie wants him to. “There’s not going to be anything you’ll miss about Hawkins?” Why does a part of him want to hear Eddie say his name?

He shrugs. “I mean I’ll miss having band practice with my buddies. And the Hellfire Club because I started it, y’know? I’ll always have an ache in my heart towards Wayne and the trailer, the first place that ever felt like home.” Eddie plucks the cigarette from his mouth and rolls it back and forth between his index finger and thumb. Both ends are practically dry. He’s staring at it. Contemplating. Then, he sighs mournfully. “I’ll miss the first day I came here. How everything was small yet meaningful. How after a week of walking around town, the folks at all the stores knew my name and my favorite things. Benny…Back at Benny’s Diner, you know the place, he had my favorite order down. I’ll miss the people nobody knows anymore.”

But then he looks dead on at Steve. And Steve burns with how intense everything has come to be. In the space of reconstruction after what such disaster he’s experienced, Eddie’s eyes and his bared soul are enough to nearly knock him down. Take the wind out of him for the moment.

“I will always miss the people here, Steve,” he rasps. “The ones that mattered.”

Steve swallows. “Makes sense,” he musters. Then, he does something he knows will destroy him, he sits down next to Eddie. Shoulder, hip, the outside of their opposite feet connecting in a warm line. His clothed elbow scratches roughly on Eddie’s bare one. He looks out at the space in front of him. The dirt road that gives the idea of a driveway to Forest Hills. At the dead grass that has since wilted from the winter weather. He notices the imprint of their shoes. Dangerously close together. He sighs.

Eddie’s quiet next to him. No longer fiddling with the cigarette. Still where he sits. Stoic in thought. “You’re the best of them,” he whispers.

Steve hums questioningly.

“You,” Eddie says, again like it should be obvious. “Steve, you’re one of my favorite people. Did you know that?”

“No,” he murmurs. “No, I didn’t know that.”

Gently, Eddie nudges his shoulder. Knocking them loose, but settling back warmly. Like he can’t get enough of them touching. Simply sitting there. Doing nothing. Saying goodbye. “Well, you are. You changed my whole worldview. Taught me how to be a better friend. To rid of a lot of my stupid high school bullshit. You’ve—“ He takes a moment to himself. A silence. Contemplating again. Searching. “—You’ve been there. For me. For everybody. A guiding hand. A voice in the darkness of a nightmare. A fixture. You’re wonderful. An experience that I don’t think I’ll ever—“ His next word is muffled.

Muted by Steve’s mouth on his. A hand to Eddie’s cheek, cupping him. Another to the back of his head, tangling hair around his fingers, pushing them together. He moves his lips slowly. Savoring. How Eddie’s lips are slightly cracked, yet plush soft. The breath that puffs onto the corner of his mouth from Eddie’s nose, apparent in the way their heads are angled to meet each other. He doesn’t explore with his tongue. Not at all. Leaving this to the simple movements of one another, the carnivorous way he tastes Eddie. Placating this goodbye with years worth of emotion and yearning, bottled up in his ribcage, and overflowing like a rolling boil.

Though when he takes a breath, he’s forced instead to gasp. To hiccup. To sob. Eddie carefully grasps him by the cheeks. Pulling him back enough to take a deep, swallowing, consuming breath. His thumbs tickle under Steve’s eyes. Patting at the warm skin. The edges of his fingernails gently press into the soft give of his bottom eyelids.

“Stevie?” He questions lowly. “Sweetheart, you’re…You’re crying.”

He sniffles noisily. His hand crumples in Eddie’s hair, probably tugging at the strands, but it’s not shown on Eddie’s face. Instead of answering, he dives back in. Pressing more firmly. Squishing the tip of his nose in Eddie’s left cheek. Slicking their chins with his spit. Stuttering through gasps, sobbing on his lips, squinting with every soft cry. He can’t even fully see Eddie’s face. Not his eyes, which he fell in love with first. Or the way his cheeks are lighting up red, given by the warmth radiating onto Steve’s own skin. He can’t see and he can’t breathe, but he’d be damned if he stopped right now. His other hand moves down to the side of Eddie’s neck, squeezing as if attempting to choke him out. The rapid thrum of Eddie’s pulse under his thumb. He thinks if he were to die in this kiss, he could be resuscitated by Eddie’s beating heart alone.

While Eddie is enthusiastic to respond, his eyes don’t close in bliss. And he doesn’t move further into Steve’s space. If anything, he’s inching away. Pulling again at Steve’s head. Forcing them apart. “Steve, you don’t want to—“

“You’re everything,” Steve is sobbing out. “Everything to me.” He swallows harshly. His tongue is heavy with saliva and emotion. “You stayed here with me after…After all the bullshit. When Robin left for school. And everybody graduated. When they moved on,” he’s rambling. He should stop. Get himself in line. Try to make sense of every word falling from between his lips. But he can’t grasp them. They flow. They spill. He’s boiling.

“Baby, I’m going, too,” Eddie cooed sadly. “I’m not staying here.”

“I know. I know, Eds, I know,” Steve mutters. He gasps through a hiccup, reigning in his tears, at least slightly. “I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you sooner.”

“Tell me what, Steve?”

He bounces his eyes back and forth between Eddie’s. Their roundness. And the dark encompassing color to them. How they pull him in like black holes. He could probably destroy Steve, especially with what is said next.

“I’m in love with you,” Steve confesses. “I’ve been in love with you,” he reiterates, voice cracking and wet and too thick. “For years, Eds.”

The hands on his cheeks slither down to his shoulders. For a moment, his head is heavy enough to careen him to the side. His head resting on the closed back door. He looks on with half-lidded eyes and a shiver against his spine. Eddie’s looking low at Steve’s chest, where his heart is. He squeezes the sweater material under his hands.

He swallows heavily in the stilled silence. Whispers, “I’m flattered, Steve—“ And Steve straightens back up, flailing a little to get out of this hold. To make his escape. To just leave when he isn’t wanted. But Eddie holds to him harshly. Keeping him still. “—I really am. But what you said doesn’t change my mind. I’m leaving.”

“Tell me, then,” Steve shoots. His voice flat. Lifeless.

“Tell you…”

“That you love me, too. Please tell me that.”

Eddie sighs again. His hands pressing harder on Steve’s shoulders. If it’s not his eyes, then Steve will gladly be ruined by Eddie’s hands. “Steve. That’s not a good idea.” He states it like it’s factual.

To hell with that.

“Then lie to me,” Steve pleads. “You don’t have to mean it. Just tell me—“

“I don’t want to lie to you, Steve. And besides, I’d only be lying to myself if I said it like that,” Eddie says. He moves his left palm up to Steve’s hair, pushing it back from his forehead. Tickling it down to where it touches the tops of his shoulders. Moves back up and dully scratches at his scalp. “I do love you, Steve. I do. I love you with every muscle in my body and every freckle on my skin. But…Sweetheart, you’re staying here. I’ll be elsewhere. And I know how you are in relationships. You like being near. You like being able to touch and cherish and hold. You like waking up next to them. You like having a person with you.”

Sometimes knowing Eddie Munson means being known back. And Steve should’ve realized that. He’s been privy to it thousands of times over the last five years. He’s been pulled from his darkest thoughts because of Eddie’s perceptive nature. He’s been taken care of in a lot of aspects. Distracted when he’s bored. Cherished when he’s lack luster.

He moves his own hands down to his lap. Folding them together so he doesn’t do something more stupid than what he’s already done. Something like hold on and never let go. Because Eddie isn’t his. And sure. Maybe they do love each other. Madly. Deeply. Infatuated practically. But Eddie’s right. He’s right and Steve hates that.

“You’re everything to me,” Steve murmurs. “I can’t just let you leave.”

Eddie sighs. A grievance. “Then we’re at a stalemate, baby. I can’t stay.”

“Then take me with you,” Steve says back. Quick as a bullet. Even his words surprise him. He startles back slightly. But his eyes remain on Eddie’s.

For a moment, they just stare at each other. Before Eddie blinks. Harshly. Tilting his head to the side. “Are you…You’re not just saying that, right? Do you actually want to leave? Because you didn’t want to before.”

Steve nods. “What’s left for me here anyway, right? I can just go to my house, pack my clothes, the few actual things I have, and we can go.”

This time, it’s Eddie who devours. Swooping in. Sucking on Steve’s lips. Nibbling. Holding onto him as to never let him go again. He barely moves to breathe. But when he does, it’s to whisper, “I would’ve loved you still anyway.”

“Hm?”

“If you didn’t want to come with. I still would’ve loved you. I would wait forever.”

“Well. I don’t want to keep you waiting. Help me pack?”

Eddie’s hands drift to his. He holds. Their fingers tangled. “As long as you won’t regret doing this.” His thumb is warm on the back of Steve’s left hand. It’s kind of funny. How big and moving Eddie seems to always be. Though, in this moment, every ounce of him is dedicated to devotion. To soft caresses and softer words.

Steve gives him a small smile. “The only thing I regret is not telling you that I love you sooner. Come on, Eds.” He tugs on their conjoined hands. “My life starts with you.”

💕—————💕 I thought about them not getting together. I thought about writing it so that Steve's love was unrequited. But I spared you. For today. Maybe not next time. We'll see.

#stranger things #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #fanfiction #angst and hurt/comfort #angst with a happy ending

[greghatecrimes]

Thirteen & Meltdowns

A couple of us in @hegory-grousing 's server were chatting about autistic Thirteen & autistic House interactions earlier today, and I decided to be very brave (lol) and share some of my thoughts on Thirteen and meltdowns, overstimulation, etc. I had a lot of fun doing that so I thought I'd throw them into a post on tumblr too, for my #autistic thirteen tag. :)

I think Thirteen would force her overstimulation/meltdowns down and almost completely internalize them. She would feel a need to be as normal and quiet as possible on the outside, because expressing stuff like that outwardly is something she associates with her mom's Huntington's and the bad memories that go along with it (like how she got screamed at, etc).

One of the main things we were chatting about was House, who was punished into masking and acting neurotypical by John, noticing Thirteen's autism and encouraging her in a very dadlike way to unmask.

The first time Thirteen is overstimulated and nearing a meltdown around House, House tells her, "Just let it out." Thirteen stares at him with huge eyes (deer in the headlights look) and then House says again, "I mean it. Let it out. Stop sitting there trying to shove it all back inside. There's no one here except for you and me, and I could not care less. So let it out."

So over time he gradually tries to encourage her to unmask and "let it out" more and more. But Thirteen's been forcing it down for so long that it all gets stuck, until it reaches the point where she needs to let it go but she doesn't know how. And so the next time she's overstimulated or starts having a meltdown, her nervous system and brain get so overwhelmed with the need to get it OUT that she just starts clawing at her arms and chest for some kind of release, hard enough to draw blood. And House usually wouldn't touch her without her permission, but when he sees her hurting herself like that, he'd just grab her hands and pull them away.

She stares at him, totally deer in the headlights because she's floored that he actually did it, and then snaps, "Stop it!"

House keeps her hands in his and very firmly tells her, "No."

("The only blood allowed on this carpet is mine, got it?")

#autistic thirteen #remy thirteen hadley #i'm nervous to post this for some reason but fuck it. we ball. YEET #greg house #autistic greg house #headcanons

[cryptar]

yknow i say im a huge multishipper but i wouldnt actually consider myself much of a shipper at all. just open to the idea of trying everything once. the term has typically romantic connotations and follows the assumption that i think, and want, these characters to be good for eachother.

I'm, personally, less interested in the prexisting chemistry than i am in the puzzle of figuring out what differing circumstances could potentially cause two characters who have seemingly nothing in common to become eachothers everything.

This could explain my favorism towards rarepairs and more convoluted dynamics, and my aversion to popular, fluffy pairings that have already been explored a thousand times over, there's no work for me to do there.

Not to mention that when a ship becomes too popular it starts cannibalising itself, and lots of good, interesting characterisations are lost in the sea of people bending characters into pre-orchestrated, saccharine dynamics. alot of which are usually downright fetishy in nature, particularly in mlm pairings.

I mean i would say being able to get ooc and self indulgent is downright mandatory for making a good fic, but there's only so many times i have to read a fic about a big, overprotective, manly-man top who does all the work and the shy, small, swoony, softhearted femme-wifey-bottom before it starts to just be lazy.

I actively have to go out of my way to search 'switch' tags if i want true-to-the-character, mutual emotional reciprocation. which i really, really shouldn't have to do as an ace person who actively skips through nsfw.

And it's not that popular wlw pairings aren't guilty of these problems aswell, but those tend to lean more into the 'soft lesbians who can do no wrong' stereotype, which always completely (butch)ers all nuisance that makes the ship worth shipping in the first place.

As well as that's if they're even the focus of the story at all and aren't just shoved to the side by the main mlm couple. mlw pairings can be culpable of both these things, with the added risk that you find out the author made a twitter post with the characters in front of the 'super straight' flag.

Though i also wonder if me being aspec plays any part as again; im not as interested in the romantic aspects as i am in the possible hurdles they may face throughout the potential relationship.

Anyone else feel like this?

#though its not that i hate popular ships. #ill read anything if i find it interesting #cryptic ramblings #ship discourse (but not really) #fandom critical #fandom crit #fandom #this is about fandom and shipping culture in general but some places i see this in are #homestuck #genshin impact #zhongchi #davekat #dirkjake #ittogorou #kavetham #< these are ships i actually quite like. im just not too fond of the fanon characterizations of #dirkjake has gotten far better over the years though #if you have any more leave them in the tags #yknow for someone who hates discourse i sure do talk about it alot #in my defense it's the people who get really pressed over their pairings #and become aggressive at differing opinions that I don't like #oh and #neuvifuri #kazuscara #longpost #xiaoven #thomato #kaebedo #chiscara

[ultimateshixiongfuckertournament]

Round 2, Match 4: Jiang Cheng vs Yoshikazu Miyano

Match 4 is between Jiang Cheng (shixiong: Wei Wuxian) from Mo Dao Zu Shi vs Yoshikazu Miyano (shixiong: Shuumei Sasaki) from Sasaki to Miyano

Propaganda under the cut (Miyano's propaganda is going first due to how long the Jiang Cheng propaganda got)

Yoshikazu Miyano:

A fudanshi who bonds with his senpai over BL. Sasaski actually fell for and confessed to Miyano first but Miyano is took his confession very seriously and made sure to sort his own feelings out before giving a proper response (which took like a year lol) beause he didn't want to be careless with Sasaki's feelings.

Jiang Cheng:

Clinged to WWX constantly for 7+ years, wanted to have WWX as his right hand man forever after becoming sect leader, cried after WWX left, cried when he discovered what WWX sacrificed for him, was TORN APART when it got explained to him that if they were more outwardly close knit, WWX might not have died

PROPAGANDA!! to start, i'm still very bitter about how fairy lost the sentient animal poll and i want to win this badly. very very badly. current stats are 50.6 in favour of jc but that's too less of a gap for me. jc should be winning this by a landslide, y'all hear me? anyways. starting with a class act, like the clown i am->

a few links ( because i'm chengxian trash, as always and i'd love if poll-guy could copy paste them on the og post): one, two, three, four (gif), five, six, seven (gif), eight (thoughts on different wavelengths), the absolute circles of them saving each other, the fucking golden core reveal scene. golden scene reveal part 2, jiang cheng will always forgive wei wuxian

to start with. jiang cheng is literally the picture of "i knew from the moment i met you that i'd spend a lifetime forgiving you".

the earliest dynamic of jiang cheng and wei wuxian is jiang cheng giving away his dogs (the only gift his father has ever given him, btw) because wei wuxian is scared of the dogs. tis only the start of it.

his father very obviously prefers his shixiong over him, his mother berates him for not being as good as wei wuxian and tells him his inheritance is in danger, and his sister (in my opinion) has more care for him (visibly. maybe jiang yanli doesn't show it because jc is an emotionally complicated purple grape, maybe because jc doesn't need it, or wei wuxian is traumatised but that's my opinion). but still. still. Jiang Cheng loves Wei Wuxian. so much. jealousy is like. the most tame response i can think of. and jiang cheng is proud of wei wuxian, okay? he'd believe his big brother if he'd said anything. want proof? well, here you go-> link

to paraphrase the link:

Jiang Cheng had just lost his family, his home, and his very golden core, and his older brother - his brilliant older brother who could fix anything, who could sneak wine into Cloud Recesses and defeat an ancient turtle nearly-god and make Jiang Cheng share a smile when Jiang Cheng’s mother was disappointed and furious at both of them - His big brother smiled and said, “I can fix this.”And Jiang Cheng believed him then, and believed him three months later when Wei Wuxian crawled out of the Burial Mounds (just the second miracle in three months), and believed him every day of the next seventeen(?) years until the pieces were shoved into place for him to see.

also. the circle these two go in protecting each other. (gif set by @sandushengshou), the 'if one of us is to die, then, i beg, let it be me' that they both do for one another in a seemingly neverending loop of sacrifice. via this post a la my lovely @backtoyunmeng

jiang cheng is a cannonically ruined woman archetype, justified via the countless posts you'll get in the top posts of jiang cheng tag. he keeps chenqing, wwx's flute in perfect condition even when he hates wei wuxian, even when wwx, if only indirectly, has a part in jiang yanli's murder and oof okay someone pointed out to him that he's known to have killed wei wuxian and he almost cries. he absolutely believes, with his whole heart, that wei wuxian lives even when the world is sure he doesnt. and it always read to me like, i'd know if he was dead. he's a part of my soul, so i'd know if he was dead. he can't be dead.

this is getting too long, so, to sum up, some absolute poetry by @jiangchengsjawline

#JC On The Other Hand Has His Entire Life Shaped By His Shixiong And Ended Up Cast As The Ruined Woman By The End

#jiang cheng though. wasn't able to fuck his shixiong but his shixiong definitely fucked with him

#hello?? the answer is Jiang cheng pls#he's the shixiongfucker or all shixiong fucker you wish you could be as pathetically in love with your shixiong as he is#chengxian

#i do not go here (chengxian) but the propaganda is incredibly correct they are insane abt each other#also sorry jiang cheng ik you're suffering but they are so funny to me#neway VOTE JIANG CHENG FOR CLEAR SKIN

#look I rarely go here#(here being chengxian)#but by GOD their lvoe compels me#they’re tragic and doomed and they love each other without knowing how to say it in words the other would understand#or in words at all because communication??? we don’t know her???

he didn't even think about sacrificing himself, and consequently his entire bloodline, his sect, pretty much everything that depends on him for his shixiong??????????

is this not convincing->

#had to vote jc though i have more feelings about chengxian#i think jc should have a huge gege kink

#like. jiang cheng should win the entire tournament hands down period

#yoshikazu miyano #sasaki shuumei #sasaki to miyano #jiang cheng #wei wuxian #chengxian #mo dao zu shi #mdzs #the untamed

[kimakento]

so this is how it feels

synopsis: nicholas has been in love with you for quite some time now, but he struggles to reconcile with that love when it goes even far enough for him to develop hanahaki. but you’ll never know that he yearns your love back. ⌙ 2.6k

pairing(s): wang yixiang x fem!reader x koga yudai

genre(s): angst

warning(s): swearing, blood, passing out, low self-esteem, bit of toxicity

tags: hanahaki!au, unrequited love and more. (too lazy to write it out sorry 😞)

author’s note: this was requested by my fav @loserlvrss i actually read a hanahaki fic the other day and HAD to write one myself, this is a bit self indulgent but as always hope you enjoy !!! i js wanted to get this out quicker, might make a part 2 idk i hope this is gut-wrenching enough for you bae 🤞

a few years ago, when nicholas was asked by one of his friends what his type was, he blanked out. while staring at his friend, dumbfounded, he scoffed, claiming that he didn’t care enough to have one.

love wasn’t something that he needed at the time, much less cared about. he pondered about how romantic love was supposed to feel like or what love even was, it wasn’t one of his priorities, though.

but now, if anyone ever asked nicholas what love was, he’d reply with you. the girl who occupied his every thought, his every dream, his every waking moment — maybe that was an exaggeration, but you were love to him. love was the person who made you feel feelings, nicholas couldn’t quite put it coherently but he just knew it was you.

and if you were love to him, why were you with him and talking about another man right now? nicholas despised him, he loathed that he wasn’t the reason for the goofy smile on your face, that he wasn’t the reason for your random fits of giggles, that he wasn’t—

“nicholas! are you even listening?” the train of thoughts cut off when a pout crept up on your face, emphasising your discontent. however, as time passed torturously slow, an unsual sensation in his chest began to settle, but he dismissed it. nicholas set his hazy gaze on you, watching intently while you parted your lips to speak, the same ones he so badly wanted to claim as his.

“just look at what he posted, k is definitely doing this on purpose.” you said while shoving your bright phone screen in his face, nicholas squinted his eyes to focus on the photo of yudai while the subtle tickle buried deep in his chest intensified. balling his fist, he watched as your enthusiasm became more evident as you slightly bounced on your bed, humming along to a melody, only stopping when he spoke.

“why don’t you just tell him about your feelings then?” more like ‘why couldn’t he tell you about his.’ it was rich coming from him.

“it’s not that easy, nicho,” and he thought he understood that more than anyone. “yudai—“

“can this wait? i need to use the bathroom right now.” nicholas was only a mere two seconds from just leaving, he couldn’t bear hearing that stupid name anymore. ‘yudai’ this, ‘kei’ that, he just wanted your attention on him and only him.

his steps felt heavy as he dragged his feet towards the bathroom; nicholas felt so shameful. distance from you felt like the proper solution. as he entered the bathroom and locked the door, his head fell against it in a dramatic thump. so much thoughts ran through his mind, it felt unbearable.

involuntarily, he let out a small cough into the palm of his hand.

fuck, am i sick right now? he thought.

but then—he saw it, a delicate and dainty pink petal; one that looked like one from a cherry blossom. that’s when his heart dropped. staring nervously at the out-of-place petal, it crumbled away painstakingly slowly, disappearing into flecks of dust whisked away by the air.

“what the fu—“

the vulgar sentence was cut off by another cough wracking his body, bringing a second, pale petal with it. nicholas’s eyes darted around anxiously as his breath hitched. this cannot be happening. not now. not like this, when you’re in the other room. with trembling hands, he slapped his hand over his mouth hastily. yet his ragged breaths only seemed to intensify the creeping pain in his chest, the ache refusing to dissipate.

completely oblivious, you noticed nicholas’s prolonged absence and decided to walk towards the bathroom, calling out his name while concerned.

“nicho, are you okay?”

in between half-stifled coughs he let out a meek mumble, “i…i’m fine.”

bringing your hand up to cover your face, you shook your head while tutting at his response.

“okay then..? just shout my name if you need anything!”

once he heard your retreating footsteps becoming fainter, nicholas retracted his hand from his mouth and noticed a small petal was placed fitly in his hand; he grimaced.

it was hanahaki. he was suffering because of his unrequited love for his best friend. why was it always him? bad things always had to happen to him.

a sharp pain struck him in the chest and he clenched his shirt to find relief. nearly doubling over in pain, nicholas ran over to the sink, putting one of his hands on each side while coughing violently. his grip on it was so hard that his knuckles turned white. after a few more minutes, it seemed to have subsided, but that was only the calm before a storm—a big one at that.

sheepishly, he turned the bathroom door handle and stepped outside, hearing the sound, you hurried over to him.

your hand came up to cover his forehead, feeling his body temperature before stating, “you look pale, and you’re hot. i really think you should go home.”

nicholas’ face flushed from your gentle touch, he didn’t even pay attention to the growing ache tightening.

a smile crept up on his face. ‘i know i’m hot, you don’t have to tell me.’ he wanted to say, but before the first word came out, he coughed into the palm of his hand.

another petal.

this time, a streak of blood painted the innocent, pink petal.

concern washed over you and you placed your hand over his shoulder, the petal just out of your line of sight. quickly, nicholas nodded his head before clenching his hand; just to hide it.

“what about you? you’re going to be lonely here.” he gazed down at you with drab eyes. mesmerising were your eyes, the eye contact you held with him enchanting him more with every fleeting moment—no, he wasn’t allowed to think that.

you responded with a small smile, “it’s okay, me and yudai are going out. you know, i think he likes me back. i might take my chance sooner or later—“ that name again; why is it always him? nicholas thought. that familiar pang pained him again and he clutched his other hand, gritting his teeth through the pain. it only seemed to worsen whenever you mentioned that guy—nicholas didn’t even want to think about his name.

after recognising the complicit frown on his face, you interrupted yourself and dismissed it as him being ill. “—but enough about that! you should go home.”

in defeat, he weakly nodded before grabbing his jacket and making his way out of your home. the outside world felt cold and the chilling wind whisked everything away as he kicked a nearby pebble.

opening his fist, he threw away the blood-painted petal in a rage.

nicholas hated—no, he loathed koga yudai. he hated how he had to fight for your attention, he hated that he even developed hanahaki because of his stupid, unwarranted love for his friend. most of all, he hated you for being so oblivious. but who was he kidding? wang yixiang could never hate you. even if he tried his utmost hardest.

the subtle tickle in his throat began again, almost like a never-ending story.

then he looked up, trying to distract himself by watching the clouds. it all became useless when your face appeared again in his thoughts, and he’s reminded of the strong gaze you held just minutes ago.

nicholas picked up his pace, walking through the park that you both do every week. shoving his freezing hands into his pockets, he notices a familiar face in the distance walking in the opposite direction.

koga yudai.

great, his day seemed to be getting worse. a bitter expression adorned his face as the taller man continued to walk towards him, almost passing nicholas in the process before finally recognising him and visibly brightening up.

“hey, nicholas! funny seeing you here.” his tone was light and airy, usually the type that friends would have towards each other. but they weren’t friends, they would never be friends; or at least that’s what nicholas thought.

the latter’s voice was flat and disinterested as he replied dryly, wanting to end the conversation. “yeah, nice.”

before he could walk away, yudai placed a hand on his shoulder to stop his sudden rush.

“do you know if she’s at home? i don’t know if you were told, but we’re going out right now. i really want to make a good impression.” on yudai’s face, he held an almost lovesick expression, which made nicholas feel sick.

the mention of you brought back the long forgotten pain. with a weak shake of his head, nicholas excused himself and walked away hastily.

kei was perplexed but thought nothing of it as he continued to your house, making note to ask you about it later.

the wooden bench nicholas chose to sat own was cold. his fingertips brushed against the splinted wood as his other hand covered his mouth, to attempt to silence his defeaning coughs that wracked his already-vulnerable state.

for months in a row, this continued—you’d call to talk about the ‘oh so romantic’ moments with kei or to talk about how kind he was, or to even just update nicholas about your situation with yudai. then that same pain would start again, and pink petals, sometimes painted with a streak of red, would fall out of his mouth. it only worsened when you announced that you and yudai were a thing.

he was genuinely sick of it.

his pain seemed to have become palpable in every way.

but today, was a day like no other. nicholas was hunched over, eyes widened at what lay there, tainting the white, marble sink in his bathroom.

a whole cherry blossom.

he turned the tap, indulging the clear water to run; all to tune out his thoughts. the petals of the blossom crumbled, and some were taken away by the water. with trembling hands, he threw the running water at his face, with this continued on for a couple of minutes with a few sighs of fatigue in between.

when leaving the bathroom and sitting onto his bed, he began to sink deep into thought. nicholas didn’t know how to get rid of this, the disease that plagued his soul, the one that he was terrified of bringing up out loud, much less to you. this unknownness was unfamiliar; therefore horrifying. help couldn’t be an option for him, yet he couldn’t just hope it all went away. but—

before nicholas could finish his thought, his phone vibrated from a text.

my life </3 wanted 2 ask if u wanted to go to a get-together with our class with me n k at one of their houses (u don’t have to come, i know how much u hate these.) sent 1:38pm

the last part of your text, though not important, made his heart flutter. as he reread the message he noticed the phrase ‘me and k’. armed with frustration, he was reminded of the blossom again. and with a bitter taste in his mouth, he replied back.

nicho!! ok. txt me the address. sent 1:43pm

as you squinted to read his message, your mind wandered. the crude reply sounded unlike him and so you responded. nicholas stared at the three dots that flowed on his screen, anticipating your reply.

my life </3 u good? u sound out of it ): if u’re sick u should stay home. sent 1:45pm

nicholas hated seeing you sad, he never wanted to be the cause of your unhappiness but he also didn’t want to see you with yudai. he took a deep breath to calm himself, choking himself up when he coughed.

it was another whole flower. however, there was no blood this time. his stomach churned as he doubled over and the feeling of wanting to throw up intensified. nicholas wanted nothing but to get the hanahaki disease out of him.

tapping your foot impatiently, you texted him again.

my life </3 nicho? where r u? wang yixiang. i’m concerned now. read 1:54pm

every passing minute made you more anxious, resulting in you picking at your fingers.

with trembling fingers, nicholas responded with a simple ‘i’m okay’. and you let out a sigh of relief knowing he was fine.

‘please come to the get-together’ you said, ‘it’ll be fun’ you said. yet what was fun about watching you all over kei? what was so fun about leaving your friend hanging and barely even speaking to him? what was fun about being so oblivious about his painfully obvious feelings?

while everyone cooed at the ‘cute’ couple that was you and yudai, nicholas stayed slumped in the corner with an empty glass in his hand; subtly glaring at you both with watchful eyes.

as you interlocked your fingers with kei’s, you bridged the gap between you, meeting his lips with yours.

thoughts distorted and eyes narrowed, nicholas swore he could hear his porcelain heart shatter into minuscule pieces.

there it was again, the ache in his chest, now rising up his throat.

placing his glass on the table, he sped up the steps to find the nearest bathroom. finally, one door he opened turned out to be it. and wasting no time, he hurried in and locked the door; running to the sink, he couldn’t stop the strings of coughs from his mouth. flower after flower appeared, each with more streaks of blood than the one before.

so, this was how it felt? to fall in love with you? nicholas wondered if it would’ve been different if he had confessed before everything. everyone warned him to not develop feelings, it was always going to be a bad idea. he never listened.

and these were the consequences.

the flowers were nonstop and like infinity, they continued on and on and on. each blossom pained him more, making him wince. his vision slightly darkened and his breath hitched.

then it quickened and it felt like there wasn’t enough oxygen. the room started spinning and the temperature dropped. or it didn’t, he didn’t know. nicholas’s senses were all distorted and that made his brain unable to recognise or process anything. everything felt foreign and weird. while staggering, he fell to the floor in one swift motion.

“nicholas?” he heard a voice echo.

another cough. another pretty pink cherry blossom. one as pretty as you.

“nicho?!” again, the same familiar voice. his eyes stayed open long enough to watch the door creak and you come out behind it. your face showed worry as you scrambled down, clutching his shirt.

voice cracking, you whisper-shouted, “nicholas! listen to me, come on.”

your shaking hands reached into your pocket, dialling for an ambulance.

and then you see it, a flower on the floor, laid prettily next to his motionless head. your hands tremble trying to reach out to touch it, but you’re distracted when nicholas mumbled softly.

“what’s wrong?” you asked quietly, tears threatening to fall.

a small smile appeared on his face, “i love you.”

“i know, i love you too. but this isn’t it for you, please.”

“y..you don’t get it… not in that..way.”

the last thing he remembered was seeing your eyes blinking cluelessly. it took you a couple of seconds before your eyes widened. you turned away from him, concealing your hurt expression and you heard nicholas sigh.

“nicholas, i..i’m sorry.” you managed to say while turning to face him, only to see his eyes shut peacefully.

even though he knew there was no chance of you liking him back, nicholas would still always love you and choose a life with you in it in a heartbeat.

#&team nicholas #&team k #koga yudai #wang yixiang #&team x reader #nicholas x reader #k x reader #nicholas imagines #k imagines #&team imagines #&team drabbles #&team angst #✍🏾 — kimakento writes

[wildlife4life]

Seven (+) Sentence Sunday

Tagged by the super amazing @daffi-990 @lover-of-mine @try-set-me-on-fire @fortheloveofbuddie @wikiangela @spotsandsocks @jesuisici33 and @diazsdimples. Thank you all so much and I am super excited for your upcoming works!

Another tag day, another snippet of NFL Buck. Back to Eddie's perspective! This time, we are delving into this au's version of his and Shannon's background and relationship. WOOO! (Every previous NFL Buck post can be found here) Enjoy!

Buck gave Eddie a very befuddled look, "Um, if this is your way of breaking up with me, I think you skipped a few major steps here." Eddie rolled his eyes, "Make sure the equipment manager gives you an extra thick helmet Buckley. All those previous head injuries are catching up to you." His boyfriend gave a half hearted glare, but didn't make a comment, allowing Eddie to explain. "They're for Shannon." "Ohhhh." Evan finally caught on and Eddie can't help but roll his eyes again. "I keep forgetting your un-repressed ass is still married to a woman." The jerk had the audacity to crack jokes and give Eddie a cocky grin. "And that makes you my mistress." Eddie fired back. "Meh." His boyfriend shrugged uncaring. Which is fair because he's the mistress who beat the odds and convinced the husband to leave his wife. Though did it count if the wife left first? Eddie shook his head, pushing aside that thought, knowing it would lead down an emotionally twisted path he didn't want to get into at the moment. Picking up the divorce papers, Eddie returned them to the manilla envelope labeled with only Shannon's name. "Look, with the move to Houston I am obligated to inform Christopher's mother of his whereabouts. I did the same when we moved to Austin, though back then I was hoping that by telling her we were out from under my parents roof, she would return." Buck grimaced, "Considering you showed up for our not-a-date, date, that didn't happen." Eddie nods, unable to meet the younger man's saddened gaze. The hurt and anger towards his soon to be ex-wife, was all twisted up with a healthy dose of guilt and the love he would always have for her. It felt unfair to Evan to still love her. His feelings towards Shannon used to be less complicated. Before Eddie bent under his parents expectations, she was one of his closets friends. Much like Buck, she was easy to talk to, made him laugh, and didn't pressured him to be anything more than himself. Eddie never did express his disinterest in girls to her or how his eyes tended to linger a little too long on some the guys on the football team (he has a type, repressed or not). The subject of girls and dating didn't come up, until his dad made an off hand comment about his son not bringing any dates home to meet. Eddie panicked. And when Eddie panicked, he came up with some awful ideas. Kissing Shannon after his baseball game because he knew she had feelings for him beyond friendship, was one his worst. Back then, Eddie hoped that treating Shannon as more than friend would lead to feelings of actual attraction and romantic love. It didn't. Further expectations, additional pressure lead to more panic and stupid decisions. Then one day during his senior year, Eddie found himself with a positive pregnancy test in hand and Shannon begging him for a solution. He was down on one knee with a ring his mother shoved into his hands two days later (Eventually Eddie would learn the silver band with a small lone diamond was a promise ring from Adriana's cheating ex.) Shannon said yes, Eddie's Uncle Paco ordained their wedding at the local rec center, and Christopher Edmundo Diaz was born May 8th, 2008, just after Shannon took her last final (her water broke as she handed in her math test). When Eddie held his son, he instantly knew, his entire heart belonged to this tiny little boy, but right on the heels of that love came the cold dredges of panic. On May 9th, 2008 Eddie acted upon yet another awful idea and signed up for the Army. Neither he nor Shannon made it to their high school graduation. Instead the first tear in their relationship was being formed with angry shouts, heartbroken sobs, and a hastily packed duffle tossed into an old truck.

I will admit, I am not the biggest Shannon fan, but I am not a Shannon basher either. Her and Eddie both made mistakes, and that will be shown in this au, as Shannon was a big part of Eddie's journey and the mother of his child. Hope you all enjoyed!

Tagging (no pressure): @theotherbuckley @disasterbuckdiaz @devirnis @exhuastedpigeon @bekkachaos @thewolvesof1998 @giddyupbuck @eddiebabygirldiaz @hippolotamus @rainbow-nerdss @spaceprincessem @athenagranted @eddiescowboy @evanbegins @elvensorceress @malewifediaz @911onabc @911-on-abc @loserdiaz @hoodie-buck @ladydorian05 @bigfootsmom @watchyourbuck @thekristen999 @princessfbi @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels @spagheddiediaz @monsterrae1 @rogerzsteven @honestlydarkprincess @bitchfacediaz @buck-coded @housewifebuck @glorious-spoon @buddierights @prosperdemeter2 @lemonzestywrites @gayedmundodiaz @cal-daisies-and-briars @transboybuckley

#seven sentence sunday #tag game #my wip #911 show #911 abc #911 on abc #911 fic #buddie #buddie fic #evan buckley #eddie diaz #shannon diaz #nfl #quarterback buck #firefighter eddie #secret relationship #back story #divorce #teen pregnancy #repressed teen eddie #eddie's mixed emotions #no shannon bashing #but she does still die

[jasntodds]

Petrichor [3]

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader (little bit of fwb)

Words: 15,168

Warnings: Swearing, fluff, smut, oral (m receiving), a smidge of angst, violence, blood, description of bruises, mentions of scars, titans isn’t descriptive about Jason’s dad so I’m pulling from Arkham Knight verse because I can, mentions of abuse (Arkham knight!canon),mentions of previous homelessness, mentions of being tortured and held captive

Summary: ❝Pylades: I’ll take care of you. Orestes: It’s rotten work. Pylades: Not to me. Not if it’s you.❞

Gotham is home, not just for Jason but for you, too. And now that you’re both finally back home, together, you’re ready to see where this next chapter brings the two of you. He’s your best friend and you’re his. And you both might want a little something more with being back home, the place you both feel most comfortable. Surely, nothing could possibly go wrong now.

A/N: Hey, look we’re getting somewhere lol There’s so much in this chapter that comes up later so I hope you guys like it!! If you want context from book 1, let me know and I’ll tell you!! You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary​ and turn on notifications if you prefer that!! I love feedback, I swear it keeps me posting on a weekly basis 😭

series masterlist | masterlist | tag list

A couple of days later, Bruce informs Jason and you he has a Justice League thing so he’ll be out of town for the next few days. He mostly just asks you both not to get into trouble while he’s gone. No joyrides in the Batmobile and no riding motorcycles in the Manor. Jason has a smirk while Bruce said it, as if he does all of it on purpose. But, you both agree to be on your best behavior while he’s gone. And this first day, you are.

For most of the day, you hang around the manor together. You have a few training sessions, you not getting so lucky this time but it’s training. And you help Jason make a pasta dish for dinner. The day itself is pretty casual with nothing really happening but the two of you actually feel really comfortable. Bruce leaves you both alone for the most part but he’s not here at all and it’s kind of nice having the manor to yourselves.

“So, he just leaves you here alone when he has a thing?” You ask, plopping down next to Jason on the couch, practically sitting on top of him.

Jason snaps his attention away from his book to look at you with furrowed brows. “Yeah,” Jason scoffs. “Whole place to myself.” He stretches out one of his arms, as if to be claiming the manor.

“Sounds boring.” You state, leaning your head back.

The manor is already big. It already can feel a little less than homey. It’s too big for even three people to be living here. Boring wasn’t quite the right word, but saying lonely seemed a bit much. But, that’s what you think. It would be lonely being here alone. The tower felt empty even and you had Gar and Krypto, then Conner when he woke up. It just seems a little sad to you.

“Well, you’re here, can’t be too bored now.” The corner of Jason’s mouth perks into a grin.

“You’re right, I’m very entertaining.” You let out a laugh as the sarcasm hangs from your words and you pick your head up.

Jason furrows his brows and he’s not letting you have that one. He gives you a shove, not too hard but enough to make you fall to the side.

“Hey!” Your laugh reverberates against the walls and the warmest smile comes to Jason’s face. “That’s my thing.”

“No, that was entertaining.” Jason laughs.

“Asshole.” You groan and instead of getting up, you lay on your back and swing your legs over him.

“Fuck you.” Jason chuckles and you have this grin that makes his stomach spin. “Hey,” Jason swings his arm over the back of the couch, turning to face you, careful to keep your legs on him.

“Hey.” You mock him and he’s got that look. You know he’s about to have a bad idea that you will absolutely go along with.

“Wanna do something tonight?” The right side of his mouth tugs up and he wiggles his brows at you.

“There is something mildly unsettling about you asking me that.” You blink up at him and Jason gives you a devious smirk. “What exactly were you thinking?”

“Wanna do a bust? There’s a group of dealers near Crime Alley, could take ‘em down.”

“Mmh,” You sit up, getting closer to his face. “And why exactly would we do that now when Bruce isn’t here?”

Jason shrugs, tilting his head to the right slightly. “Could be fun.”

“Oh, for fun?” You mock him. “Because hanging out here with me isn’t fun enough?”

Jason glances between your eyes and lips, landing on your eyes again. “You could spice it up a bit.”

“Oh, I could?” You let out a booming laugh, leaning back slightly. “Do tell, Jay.” You close more the distance between you this time.

Jason feels his cheeks start to warm. “Got the whole Manor to ourselves.” Jason avoids the question, letting you imagine whatever you want.

You smirk at him. “That’s forward.” You let out a laugh.

“I didn’t say shit. I’m just saying, whatever you’re thinking is all you, babe.”

“Okay, so right here on the couch? Right now?” You quip and Jason’s heart completely stops in his chest, eyes bugging out of his head.

“I’m not sure how, but that’s a fucking trap.” Jason states and he wishes it wasn’t.

“Maybe.” You chuckle softly. It’s not a trap. “When did you wanna go, Batboy?” Your eyes widen and of course you aren’t going to turn this down. You aren’t ready to get out there fully yet but this is just you and Jason. It will likely be fun as long as this goes better than Deathstroke.

Jason smirks down at you. “Get ready now?”

You roll your eyes. “Patience is a virtue, Jay.”

“So is kicking ass, Babe.”

You let out a sigh and lean back, swinging your legs off of him. “Fine. Taking the bike?”

“Hell yeah.” Jason states watching as you get up. “You should be able to get your license soon. You’re doing pretty good.”

“Well, if we’re going to be doing this shit together, it’s a lot more efficient to take one bike rather than two.” You shrug. “Less noise.”

“Pretty sure you just like holding onto me.” Jason offers with a shrug.

“Yeah, that too, I guess.” You roll your shoulders dramatically and sometimes you might just like to fill his ego a little.

The two of you get up and head your separate ways to get ready. You’re actually kind of excited to get back out there. You haven’t dared to ask Bruce if you could tag along during patrol. That seems weird to you and that’s Jason’s whole thing. Patrolling with Batman. You’d never overstep on his thing. But, this? This is just the two of you and this time, it’s on your turf. You both know the city. You both know the bad guys, Jason a lot more than you but you both know. You both know all of the ins and outs, how to get away. All of it. This isn’t Jerry or Deathstroke. These are dealers who are likely dealing to kids, getting them killed and this shouldn’t be too difficult.

Jason and you take his bike to Crime Alley and to a warehouse that’s currently being used. It’s always a warehouse. Can’t they get a little more creative? But, the two of you have a plan. You go in and you bust them. Beat them up a bit, tie them up, and call it good. You’ll call the GCPD with a tip and be home free. It’s a simple plan. Jason’s been looking into them a little bit and none of them are master criminals. He’s pretty confident and you trust his research.

The two of you use your grappling hooks to access the roof and entire through the rooftop door. You’re quiet as you head to the loft, ducking behind some large and dusty boxes. You both peek around the boxes and get a look at five men with several boxes around them. There are two men standing at a table, looking to be sorting something. Another man is standing by the door with a rifle. The fourth man is opening the boxes and the last man is standing in front of all of them with his phone in hand.

“Think they’re moving it tonight?” You whisper to Jason as you both duck back behind the boxes.

“Seems that way.” Jason nods. “Guy with the phone probably runs this sorry excuse of a business.”

“You take him and I’ll take the so-called guard?” You question.

Jason shakes his head and he doesn’t like that idea very much. “No, I got him.”

“You sure?” You ask and you’re suddenly feeling uneasy about it.

Jason can handle himself, you’re positive of that. But, he does come home often enough with bruises that it concerns you. And, if you’re being honest, it just seems better for you to go after the one with a long-range weapon. You can shoot acid at him if you need to, you have your knives and your throwing is accurate. Jason’s is too, of course, but you have the extra benefit of the clairvoyance.

“Yeah, I got this, babe.” Jason offers you a grin and while a large part of his reasoning is that he doesn’t want you to deal with a gun and risk getting shot, he always wants the adrenaline boost.

He wants to face the fear head-on because that’s the only way he’ll get over it. At least that’s what he tells himself. He needs to go out there, feel the adrenaline flow through his blood. Through his entire body. He needs the rush of it all. He’s dealt with this before, more than a handful of times. This should be easy.

“Alright.” You suck in a breath. “Be careful, Jay.”

“Always am. You, too.” Jason nods at you and you nod in response, Jason getting a glimpse of a smile tugging at your lips. “Okay, I’ll walk towards the stairs and when I get there, make a distraction.” Jason states. “So that way I don’t get fucking shot.”

“Will do.” You whisper.

“Ready?”

“Hell yeah.” You nod your head and gain a giant smirk.

Jason gets to his feet, keeping his stance so he’s still hidden behind the boxes as he walks past you. He stays behind some of the industrial equipment as he walks closer to the stairs that are closer to the man guarding the door. You get to a crouching position and watch Jason carefully. You can feel the rush coming over you and you’d be lying if you said you don’t miss this feeling. Sure, pain makes you feel alive but so does this. The adrenaline rush of being a situation that’s just a little dangerous, doing something you definitely probably should not be doing. The helping people because that’s what this is all about at the end of the day. The greater good kind of deal. And then there’s the added benefit of working with Jason. You feel alive as you watch him get to the last bit of equipment that can hide him properly so you grab a knife from your belt, readying yourself to move.

You suck in a breath and pop up from the boxes. Your grip on your knife is tight but you’re ready to go as soon as they notice you. Jason is watching you and when he said to cause a distraction, he definitely did not mean that. He absolutely means to knock something over or throw something not be the bait. And if you both weren’t about to do this right now, he might even be a little annoyed by it. The whole point is that you don’t get hurt and you throw yourself in the way of fire. Maybe it’s something he would do.

“Hey, fuckfaces!” You call, getting the attention of the five men. “Come on, it’s a Thursday night, don’t you have anything better to do than distribute drugs?” You quip while the men collectively stare at you in confusion. “I mean, there’s a river you could drown in instead. Maybe head over to Amusement Mile and test your luck there.”

“Shoot her!” The headman yells while the guard points his gun at you.

The throbbing kickstarts in the front of your head just as Jason pops up, projecting the grappling hook into the door and sliding down the wire, kicking the guy in the chest. You use yours to jump down to the main floor just as Jason makes contact. One of the men at the tables pulls out a gun, aiming it at you just as you throw your knife and it connects with his abdomen immediately followed by a second knife just below it. Blood seeps out as the man drops his gun and the other men pull out their guns and the throbbing is located on all of the men as you grab a knife in one hand and the other hand starts to glow.

You don’t want to use the acid but these are not master criminals. And it’s five against two, four of them have guns. You can only throw two knives at a time, the acid can, at the very least, buy you a little bit of time while Jason gets the guard down. Plus, you’re here with Jason and you’re certain using the acid with him around is safe.

Jason wrestles the guy for his gun as you shoot acid at the men with the guns, a good distraction as they try not to get burned. And you use that opportunity to throw a knife at the man in charge, nailing him in the chest and immediately following it with a knife to his thigh as he goes to the ground. Jason gets the gun away and uses it to knock the guard out and starts attacking one of the other men with a gun.

The last guy holds his gun steady at you and you offer him a smile as you move just before the gun goes off. Jason gets his guy down quickly and moves to the guy who still has a gun pointed at you. But this time, the guy turns to Jason and aims it right at his face just as Jason was nearing him. Jason stands just a few inches from the barrel of the gun and you expect him to be fine. To do something. But instead, you’re watching him completely freeze. He doesn’t move. He looks down the barrel of the gun and doesn’t do a single thing. You don’t even think he’s breathing.

“Robin’s got himself a sidekick.” The man quips and you’re thankful this guy seems to be the arrogant type. They’re always the dumb ones. Want to have bragging rights and go on this huge speech about how great they are, wasting time. Boring.

You don’t offer him any reaction, instead, you reach for two knives and throw them both. You hit the man’s neck, the knife sticking out as blood spills out and the other hits his wrist. The tip of the knife hits the main vein and he drops the gun as he falls to his knees and then to his back. You swear you can see Jason sucking in a breath as you walk up to him.

“Thanks.” Jason mutters. “Let’s tie ‘em up and get outta here.” Jason nods his head but before you can get to the rest of your plan, you can hear sirens in closing in on you.

Jason grabs you by the hand, yanking you with him and the two of you take off back where you came. You’re quick to get on the bike and Jason takes off as soon as he feels you secure around his waste. The place starts getting surrounded by GCPD as you’re trying to escape. Jason veers off, almost a little too quickly to dodge one of the cop cars. Unfortunately, the car does see you and starts following you.

“What if we get caught?” You ask through your com system.

“You suddenly worried about getting caught?” Jason quips, swerving around a car.

“No, but you’re Robin and in your suit.” You state.

“We won’t get caught, hold on.” Jason tells you, pulling back the throttle and kicking the bike up into third. Your grip tightens around him, the flashing lights shine behind you.

As you round a corner, Jason spots an alley and veers right into it before the cop makes it all the way around the corner. Jason shuts the bike off in the dark alley, getting off the bike as he takes his helmet off. He walks over the entrance, looking out but still hidden in the shadows. You follow his lead and stand opposite him, looking the other way to see if you can see anything.

Jason glances to you and most of your face is covered in the shadows but he swears you are enthralling. Your breathing is rapid from adrenaline and you’re standing a little close to him. He can’t help but watch you because you really went into this with him. He brings it up and you go with it, you have a plan and stick with it. And you looked out for him tonight when it never should have been your job. And you can handle yourself.

He remembers your first few weeks of training and you were less than good but tonight, you could have taken down all five men by yourself and Jason thinks you’re incredible. Despite it all, you show no fear in any of this. Between Jerry and Deathstroke, you go into this ready to roll and that’s the end of it. Jason finds you courageous and admirable and completely and utterly enthralling. All he wants is you. Him and Rose would do this, but Rose kind of did her own thing. They weren’t really a team but Jason and you work together really well. You look out for each other and you listen to each other. You’re in it together, always. And Jason swears you’re everything to him.

You can feel his stare on you so you look back at him, and you’re almost standing chest-to-chest. The alley is a tight squeeze and you’re so close. You can hear your heart in your ears and your stomach swirls. You can see Jason’s signature smirk in the low light and it makes you almost laugh. He’s here smirking while you’re hiding from the cops and you can’t wipe the smile off of your face. He gets just a big a kick out of this as you do. No one ever understood it. The running from cops thing. It’s fun. Adrenaline-inducing, even knowing you won’t get caught. Jason gets it though and he’s looking at you and you feel exposed in a good way.

“Hey.” You whisper to him, chewing the inside of your cheek.

“Hey.” Jason’s voice is low and his heart is stuck between thunder and stopping. His breath hitches in his throat and he’s so close.

“Hey.” You repeat and you don’t know what else to say.

All you do know is that you’re happy you both did this. You both took down some bad men and you did it together. You swear you wouldn’t have it any other way. Being a vigilante is cool and it’s fun in itself but working with Jason, that’s different. It’s different because it’s him and he makes everything better.

Jason starts leaning his head down closer to you and your entire being completely freezes. You want to close the distance between you but you can’t bring yourself to. You want to kiss him so badly it physically aches the very center of your chest. It’s all you’ve ever wanted to do since the first time you did it.

“Thanks for coming.” Jason’s voice is so low, you barely even hear him.

“I’ll always come with you.” You match the lowness and you reach forward, grabbing his cape in one hand.

Jason glances between your eyes and lips, his breathing growing quicker. And for a split second, he finally has the thought of “fuck it”. He presses his forehead to yours and you brush your nose against his. Neither of you can even breathe properly. Jason can feel your breath ragged against his lips as his mouth runs dry. And it’s as if this is the moment all of this has led up.

A kiss where there are no stakes in it. It’s not because one of you almost died. It’s because you’re running from the cops in an environment where you both feel comfortable and somehow, safe. Safe enough. And Jason’s head swims, almost completely oblivious to the sounds around you or the way his hands are inductively coming to your hips. You close your eyes and you want to exist in this moment for the rest of your life. In this moment where it’s just you and him in a dark alley surrounded by Gotham’s humid air of summer. With this lip brushing yours. And that is all Jason wants, too.

But, then you both hear the sirens and you’re snapped right out of it. You both look to the side, seeing the flashing lights and Jason squeezes your hips, moving you to the side allowing you both to be further in the shadows of the alley. Your heart sinks and you think maybe you should have went for it. It’s bound to happen and you know it. But, you did nothing anyway. And you have never been more disappointed by anything. Jason swears it’s hard for him to commit to it. Like, maybe if you just…did it. No need for a discussion or anything. Maybe you could just do it. There really wasn’t a discussion with Rose, though and that all worked out so well. But, this is you and he thinks kissing you might make things easier. But then he comes back to not wanting his heart broken again. And definitely not wanting to break yours.

“We should get out of here.” Jason clears his throat, his voice still a whisper.

“Yeah, good idea.” You nod your head, grabbing your helmet from the bike.

The two of you get on and Jason drives back to the Manor neither of you saying a word through the entire drive. When you get back to the Manor, Jason heads off to take the suit off and you head to your room to change. You take one of your knives from the belt and put it in between the mattress and bedframe, making sure it’s always there, just in case. You put the rest of her knives on a dresser, laying your belt flat and call it good before grabbing a change of clothes and heading to the shower.

Jason waits for his turn to shower in his room and his hands are still shaking. He tries to convince himself it’s just the adrenaline dump. It happened the first few weeks as Robin. He’d go out with Bruce and he’d be so excited and happy to be there. He’d be out helping, kicking ass with Batman and then he’d come back to the Manor still roaring from the high and his hands would shake from the unfiltered excitement. It’s like his body just didn’t know what to do with the feeling so it just vibrated. But, he knows this is not that.

He froze and you had to bail him out. It sucks and that part scares him even more. What’s he going to do if he can’t come back from this? He can’t be out there being Robin and freeze. He’ll get killed, he’ll get other people killed. He feels weak and useless.

“Your turn.” You offer him a soft smile as you walk into his room.

Jason's thoughts dissolve away as he looks up seeing your hair still wet from the shower. You’re wearing a t-shirt and shorts, something he’s seen in a hundred time but you look really comfortable. Jason thinks if comfort were a person, maybe it’d be you.

“Thanks.” Jason gets up from his spot on the bed and his tired eyes and slight limp don’t go unnoticed.

“You okay, Jay?” You look at him with gentle eyes.

“All good.” Jason shrugs his shoulders. “I’ll be back, you wanna watch something when I get back?” Jason dodges the conversation because he can’t admit that he’s weak to you. He can’t say the words out loud and make them real. He can’t cement them into the universe and he can’t let you know him differently.

You nod and offer him a sweet smile. “Yeah, that’d be nice. I’ll wait here.” You walk past him and take a seat on his bed. “Did you have a preference?”

“Nope.” Jason lets himself chuckle, looking over his shoulder. “You have alright taste.” He scrunches his nose.

“Shut up. I have a superior taste.” You hold your head up high.

“Sure, you do, babe. Alright, I’ll be back.” Jason lets out a sigh before he heads out of his room.

You look around and you think it’s weird he hasn’t made this place his own. There’s still a framed poster for the Flying Graysons on one wall and besides a bookshelf with several books and clothes on the floor, it doesn’t feel very Jasony. At the tower, he moved a bike into his room, skateboard, and graffiti on the walls. There were things that were his on display. But, not here.

Jason talks a lot of shit about Dick but you kind of wonders if he talks shit about Dick for the same reasons you do. His name is literally Dick, he set that up himself. But, also because it’s easier. Sure, they have bigger problems and Dick was the first Robin, the first son to Bruce Wayne. Sure, and that’s gonna cause it’s own drama because they’re brothers. But, you wonder if it’s also because despite it all, despite Dick being an ass sometimes, he'd look out for all of you.

He let you all exist. When you’d pull a prank, he never got really mad. He let you prank each other, let you prank him. If any of you wanted anything for your rooms or clothes or food or video games or supplies for hobbies, anything, all you had to do was ask and Dick would give you a credit card. He’d join you all for movie nights sometimes, never complaining about it. Dick always acted more like an older brother to all of you than anything else. And you wonder if that’s why Jason acts like he doesn’t like him half the time. It’s a lot easier to fight than admit sometimes Dick isn’t so bad. That someone is actually making an effort when they’re in a position of authority because one day he might leave. He did. Maybe there’s a point to that. But, maybe Dick always a point at the end of the day. And maybe it’s easier because in a way, Jason is kind of Dick’s replacement and that’s probably hard trying to fill his shoes.

Jason froze tonight which definitely seems uncharacteristic. you remember when he fought Dr. Light. You held him off for a minute or so while Jason regained himself. But, it was just a few seconds and Jason dove right in to fight at first anyway. Jason didn’t miss a beat and once he was back on his feet, Dr. Light should have been done for. He would have been if it weren’t for Deathstroke. And you’ve seen the videos. Jason doesn’t freeze. But, tonight he did. And you wonder if he’s been freezing on patrol and that’s why he’s coming home with bruises.

Jason is skilled and he’s been doing this for a while. You expect him to come home injured from time to time, of course, he’s not invincible but the way he talks about it, that they got lucky, it makes you think something is up. He went through something horrible and traumatic and you’re not judging him for that but you’re worried. He looks tired and he’s limping but he didn’t take as single hit to the leg. Jason Todd does not freeze and you’re worried about him.

“What’s up?” Jason asks as he enters his room wearing a black t-shirt and black shorts, his wet hair sticking to his forehead.

You snap your attention back to him, eyes slightly wide and you didn’t realize you’d been sitting here thinking for that long. “Nothing.” You shake your head. “Just…are you sure you’re okay, Jay?” You furrow your brows while Jason walks over to the bed, standing in front of you, quirking a brow.

“Yeah, why?”

The shower helped clear his head. The warmth of the steam usually does it but honestly, the only thing he wants to do right about now is lay down with you. Not this talking shit. He’s fine. Maybe if he says it enough times, he will be.

“You froze tonight.” You state, looking up at him.

“I didn’t freeze.” Jason lets out a scoff.

“I mean…” You trail off. “You paused and I had to bail you out which is fine, of course. It was just weird for you. I just want to make sure you’re okay.” You watch his face, the way his eyes dart up to the left for a split second before coming back to you.

“I’m fucking fine, alright? It’s not a thing.” Jason snips and he goes to move away but you grab his hand.

“Hey,” You search his face as he turns back around. “It’s you and me, like literally, no one else is even here. What the hell is going on?”

Jason sucks in a breath and he’s really good at lying. He doesn’t want to lie to you but that seems so much better than talking about the terror he’s living through every day. When it’s just you, here at the Manor or walking around Gotham, it distracts him. It distracts him from all of it and you make him feel okay. He doesn’t feel scared around you but then he goes out and it’s like he’s trapped with Deathstroke again. He doesn’t get it and it sucks. It makes him feel useless. Broken. Damaged. So, he lies to avoid ever saying those words to you.

“Okay, look, I hurt my back on patrol last night. It’s fine.”

Your eyes narrow and you don’t believe it. He’s been fine, physically. You are almost certain you would notice because you notice that after your third training session of the day, he’s always favoring his leg. You don’t ask, but you’re always a little cautious when you sit with him or lay with him and you offer to get him things more. Jason is good at hiding pain, he’s been doing it his entire life but he’s also relaxed around you and that’s why you know about his leg. If his back hurt, you’d know.

“You seemed fine earlier?”

Jason shakes his head and shakes his hand from yours, resting both of his hands on your shoulders. “I’m fine, alright? It’s just a pulled muscle, must have aggravated it during sparring today.”

He’s lying. Jason is really good at lying but he’s dodging your eyes and not looking at your lips. You’re gathering that’s his tell. For whatever reason, he’s lying to you and it kind of bothers you. But, it’s Jason and you’re patient with him. He’ll tell you when he’s ready and you accept that. You figure you’ll keep an eye on him a little more than usual and see how it goes. You swear that if you see him slipping again, you’ll talk to Bruce. You’ll call Dick, Gar, Kory, you’ll call everyone you have to to make sure Jason is okay.

“Did you want me to rub your back then?” You offer, looking up at him.

Jason gains a smirk and the back isn’t a total lie. It is sore. It’s not just the leg pain. Conner caught him which saved his life and saved him from any catastrophic injury but he’s noticed his back tends to hurt a bit more ever since. He landed right on top of Conner, on his back. It wasn’t exactly graceful or painless. He doesn’t think there’s anything wrong, but it gets sore.

“Are you flirting with me?” Jason smirks, squeezing your shoulders.

Your cheeks start to burn as you suck in a breath. You’re down to play the game again. You tilt your head barely to the right and then back up. “What if I am, Jay?”

Jason lets out a breath, moving his jaw to the left as he grins. “You could be a little better at it.”

Your eyebrows shoot up as your mouth falls open. If he wants to play that game, you’ll play. You lift your hand and slide your first finger into the waistband of his shorts and pull him closer to you, never letting your eyes leave his and Jason feels his heart come up to his throat as he moves closer to you. You bat your eyes at him and you know that won’t be nearly enough to shut him the fuck up. So, you slide your hand from his waistband, to the collar of his shirt and pull him down to you as you lean back, Jason catching himself with his hand. His palms land on the mattress, on either side of your head.

Jason’s breath hitches in his throat as he looks at you. You move your hands to his face, cupping his cheeks and Jason’s mind starts to race with the thundering of his heart. He’s thinking you’re going to actually bring this beyond flirting. He is silently begging to the universe for you to take this beyond flirting. His eyes dart to your lips and he thinks about doing it first, just to win. He thinks about it for a split second but what if you’re just screwing with him like always? Just being flirty? So, he doesn’t move and instead, keeps his eyes on your lips.

You lean up, moving your hand away from his left cheek. He feels your breath hot on his skin and he feels like he’s going to combust right into the stratosphere. You make your way down to his neck and nips at the skin. Jason lets out a soft groan at it, his head dipping and you know you’ve just won. You come back to his cheek, and lick him.

“Ah!” Jason groans, scrunching his nose as he quickly moves his hand to his cheek to wipe the spit off but he’s laughing while you lay back down.

“Was that good enough for you?” You quip and you have this proud smile that Jason thinks might send him into cardiac arrest.

This was definitely good enough for him but Jason likes to play. It’s his game to win and maybe he’s hoping you’ll keep upping your tactics until there is nothing else left to do. Maybe you can meet in the middle.

His brows furrow as he places his hand back down near the side of your head. “Nope, I can do better.”

You let out a laugh and you love the way your heart goes into your stomach. “I’d like to see you try.”

“Take off your shirt and let me rub your back.” Jason’s voice is low and you feel the rollercoaster start between your heart and stomach. And you almost do it just to fuck with him.

“You just wanna see my boobs.” You manage to get out and you hope he doesn’t notice the quiver of your voice.

He does and he gains the most devious grin you’ve ever seen. “I’m not opposed.” Jason chuckles from above you.

“Keep dreaming, Jay.” You grin at him before you clear your throat because if you stay like this, you’ll cave. You’re so certain of that because you’re looking up at him and whenever you’re this close, you get to see just how green and pretty his eyes are. You’re almost certain you’ll never get tired of the shade of green. “So, uh, I think I won that one. Got a pretty noise out of you.” Jason swears he just swallowed his own vocal cord with the comment. It was a pretty noise and you kind of want to see what else you can get out of him. But, that’s not your place. You are friends, despite the fact you both know you are not. “Seriously,” You suck in a breath. “I can rub your back if you think it’ll help. I don’t mind.”

Jason lets out a chuckle and then what seems to be a sigh of mixed relief and disappointment falls from his lips. He pushes himself up, you sitting up with him. “Thanks.” Jason nods his head with a soft smile and gets on the bed.

You beam and you reach for the remote on his nightstand while Jason tugs his shirt over his head. He lays on his stomach, facing the TV while you turns on a show for background. You take a second, looking over at Jason and his back is nicely toned. His shoulder muscles are stretched as he has his hands under his chin to hold his head up and you’d be lying if you didn’t find it very attractive. But, you can’t just stare so you move to sit on top of him so you can rub his back. And that’s when you see it.

You move to look over to his right side where you can see a large blotch of deep maroon peaking around to his back and your entire heart sinks. It doesn’t matter that he’s Robin. That’s not the issue. That will never be the issue. The issue is that yo’uve seen all of these videos, of him as Robin, barely taking hits. Sure, he gets knocked around sometimes, but this seems bad.

“Jay?” You call your voice soft and Jason can tell by your movement you’ve found the bruise.

“It’s fine.” Jason assures you.

“Is it?” You ask. “It looks pretty bad. I mean, I would know.” Jason can hear the worry in your voice and he hates worrying you.

“I’m fine, I promise.”

“Was this from last night or the night before?”

“Night before.” He thinks about lying to you but that’s not fair. You don’t lie to him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Jason looks over his shoulder to see the look of unfiltered concern across your face. “Didn’t want you to fucking worry. I’m fine.” The left corner of his mouth twitches up and he always does that when he’s trying to convince you he’s fine.

You narrow your eyes at him. “I think I’m gonna make you a swear jar but instead it’ll be an ‘I’m fine’ jar.” You quip.

“You know we get hurt out there sometimes. It’s not a thing.” Jason gives you a fake cocky grin.

You know that’s true. Maybe it was a bad night. You’re uneasy about it but he makes a good point. And maybe you’re just worried because it’s him and you’re so sure about your feelings. And tonight happened where he froze and maybe you’re overthinking it. You hope you’re overthinking it.

“Yeah, okay.” You nod your head. “Did you want like ice though? I mean…it is bad.”

“No.” Jason chuckles, turning his head back forward. “I’m alright. Thanks, though.”

“Yeah, okay.” You let out a sigh as you rest your hands on his back, lightly rubbing over his warm skin. You look over his back where you notices a few old scars. There’s one up on his shoulder blade and another down by his left kidney. Your finger traces over the one on his shoulder blade. “Where’s it hurt?” Your voice is so gentle it sends a rush of goosebumps down his spine.

“All over.” Jason has his eyes closed and he doesn’t even realize he answered so easily but it makes you smile softly.

“How’d you get the scars?” You ask as you start at his shoulders.

Jason lets out a groan, no one’s ever done this before. “Uh, shoulder was a fight. Fucker had a knife and I had my fists.”

“Ouch.” Your brows furrow. “Before Robin?”

“Yeah, first year on the streets.”

“How long were on the streets for?” You keep working on his shoulders.

“Four years, in and out of foster care.” Jason lets out a sigh as you work out a knot.

“Wow.” You say quietly and you didn’t realize he was on the streets that long. “That’s a long time.”

“Yeah, it’s alright though.” Jason sucks in a breath. “Worked out, didn’t it?”

“Yeah, but that’s still rough. When did you find that school?” You ask and it warms Jason’s heart that you remember.

“I don’t know, after two years I think. Uh, it was winter, cold as shit outside. But, the school was open. It was somewhere warm with a roof. No one to bother me.”

“I’m glad you found that place.”

“Yeah, me, too.” Jason lets out a sigh because he knows that winter would have been tough if not.

The shelters aren’t always a good place. They don’t have a lot of space and there are rules. Jason doesn’t like the rules very much and then you have bad people who don’t have kid’s best interests at heart. The school was safe.

“Wasn’t all bad, I did like that place.”

You get a soft smile as you slide your hands down his back. “Good, I’m glad you had a place to go at least. And it sparked an interest.” You let out a soft laugh and you feel Jason chuckle under you. You tap the other scar gently. “This one?”

“Fight with my dad.” Jason clears his throat. No one knows about that. He really hates talking about it.

You stiffen and you know his dad sucked but you didn’t realize it was like that. You lean over, looking at his face and his eyes are open now, distant and sad. “What do you mean a fight with your dad?”

“Mom and me were better off without him.” Jason clenches his jaw and you get it, your heart breaking for him. And you wonder if he’s ever had a break in his entire life.

“I’m really sorry, Jay.” You trace the scar gently before going back to rubbing his back. “You deserved better.”

Jason laughs softly from under you because that’s a lot easier than letting the world know it hurts. “I’m Robin, babe. All good.”

“You always do that. Something bad happens and you say it’s good because you’re Robin.” You find a knot in his back and start to work on it, Jason groaning from under you. “I mean, it’s great but, uh…” You pause for a few seconds, Jason listening closing. “You just… remember that night with Jerry?”

“Of course.”

“You asked if I felt better and I said no. Do you remember why?”

Jason could never forget what you said. He remembers your entire rant because in your rant about Jerry, he’s the one that felt seen. Because you let him see you. “Because it happened to you.”

“Yeah, like…it didn’t matter if I ran from it or into it because it still fucking happened. I don’t know. You, uh, you just…you got that. You didn’t expect me to be fine about it or okay with it. It happened to me and you accepted that as a part of me but not in that traumatic way but just that it was a part of my life. I don’t really know how to phrase that.” You laugh awkwardly but you have Jason’s undivided attention. “Like, uh, it matters because it happened to me and there’s nothing I can do to erase it but it doesn’t have to matter in a huge way because I have you.” You shrug and you keep your eyes on your hands, trying to get the knot out. Jason can see you from the corner of his eyes. “It matters because it happened to me but it’s not my defying quality and it doesn’t need to be fixed. Just worked through when I’m ready and in a way I feel comfortable with. You, uh, you taught me that.” You clear your throat. “So, I guess the point of that run-on sentence was that you don’t have to do that. Like, brush it off and shit. Not with me anyway. It happened to you to you, too and that’s okay. It’s not your defining quality and you don’t have to be fine or okay with it. With anything bad that happens because you’ll get through it, one way or another and you’ll have me.”

Jason turns his head to look at the TV and no one gets him like you do and he can’t even understand it. His chest physically aches because it means almost too much to him. It’s something he knows he’ll never be able to comprehend. He’ll never understand why he matters to you. Or why you care so much about him. He’ll never understand why you’re like this with him or how he’d ever be good enough for you. He swears he doesn’t deserve you or your kindness and understanding. You went through hell and Jason has seen it. You’re snarky as hell, a fire he can’t put out. He almost thinks if he looks at you too long, he’ll turn into ash. But, here you are, rubbing knots out of his back with gentle fingers and gentle words.

“Thank you.” Jason finally says. “Yeah, I don’t fucking talk about. Never told Bruce. I’m sure he fucking knows but I never told him or Alfred.”

“I won’t tell him.” You assure him. “Dads are the worst.”

“Yeah, fucking right.” Jason shakes his head. “What about you? You were on the streets a year, yeah?”

“Mhm.” You hum. “Mom died and two days later CPS showed up so I bailed. Bounced around shelters and slept under one of the overpasses sometimes.”

“I’m sorry.” Jason says quietly. You really had no time to grieve. You were thrown right into the thick of it. Jason was shipped off to his uncle and then into foster care when his mom and uncle died.

“It's alright, got a lot worse.” You let out a laugh as the sarcasm drips from your words. “No, but, uh, Gotham ya know? It’s home whether I’m on the streets or in fucking Bruce Wayne’s Manor, I guess.”

Jason laughs from under you. “Takes getting used to.”

"No shit, it's fucking weird." You smile softly. "But thank you for asking him to take me in."

Jason looks at you again. "I'd do anything for your ass."

"I'd do anything for you." You repeat back.

And the two of you fall into a comfortable silence while you work on his back. He's tense all over and you don't think he should be. Jason Todd deserves to relax, let his guard down. He doesn't need to be so stressed all of the time. He's too good for it. Life has not been kind to him and you make a silent promise to yourself that if life is going to keep treating him so cruelly, you never will. You'll fight every horrible, terrible, bad thing that comes near him because he should have a break. And you really like him. You really, really, like him.

"You have a nice back." You blurt out.

Jason lets out a booming laugh almost unsure if he heard you correctly. "What?"

"You have a nice back." You repeat, this time with more confidence.

"Thanks?" Jason questions, unsure what else he's supposed to say. In your friendship this far, you've never really complimented each other's appearances. It's something Jason didn't realize until now. There was that one time the first day you met but other than that, you've never said anything to each other. "You've got a nice ass."

You pause, laughing from above him. "Thank you? I guess?"

"You're welcome." Jason answers confidently.

You roll your eyes. "Shithead."

"Babe." Jason clears his throat and that was a deep conversation. Time for some fun again. "Anything else nice about me?" The sarcasm drips from his words like honey.

"Are you digging for a compliment?"

"Nah, but you're the one sitting on my ass and complimenting my back."

"Alright, fine." You let out a sigh and decide to just take the bait and see where it goes with no one home. "I do like your face." You admit and Jason twists his head, nearly shifting his entire body to look at you. "What? I literally told you that the first day I met you."

Jason remembers you doing that to try and distract him. "Thought you were fucking with me."

"Eh, that too but it's true." You shrug. "You gotta nice face." You smile softly, keeping your eyes on his back almost nervous to look at him.

Jason chuckles and you have a nice face, too. "Sit up for a sec."

"Uh, okay?" You question, sitting up on your knees and Jason shifts under you, turning around to face you. You feel your stomach flip and your heart start to race. "Yes?" Sam try to play it cool as you sit back down on him. You suddenly have no idea what to do with your hands. You’ve never so unsure of where to put them or aware of their existence until right now.

"You have a nice face, too." Jason mocks you and you roll your eyes.

"I'll take it back." You defend because you’re almost certain he's just teasing you.

"You can't take it back." Jason defends as he rests his hands on your thighs and your breath catches in your throat. "It's true though."

You finally decide to place your hands on his chest and he's so warm under you. His skin is smooth here, unlike his hands that are always calloused and rough. And he's tough, the muscle under his skin. He's so sturdy and it's not all that surprising. He trains a lot but it is very attractive. And it's making you a little nervous.

"Taking it back." You taunt him but there's a fire that's fallen in your words and Jason raises a brow at you.

"What's up?"

"Huh?" You shake your head. Your eyes are wider than usual and you aren't sure where to look. His chest and abs are a little distracting. But so is his face while you’re sitting on top of him. His hands are on your thighs and you’re ready to explode into a million pieces. "Nothing. What?"

A sly grin paints itself across Jason's face. "You look nervous."

"I'm not nervous!" You rush your words, putting pressure on his chest in defense. He can't know you’re nervous.

"You sure?" He's taunting you but you are nervous. He makes you nervous sometimes and it's different. This is a lot different because he's facing you and you’re sitting on him. His hands creep further up your thighs, goosebumps spreading over your skin. What the hell is he up to?

"What're you doing, Jay?" You shake your head at him and it's as if you’ve been glued in this exact position.

"Nothing." Jason smirk up at you. He's wondering how far he can push this until you move or make some quip that'll make him burst into a fit of laughter. Payback for earlier.

"Oh, nothing? Not trying to pull some shit?" You raise a brow at him, narrowing your eyes and he is always up to something. That is one of his defining characteristics.

"Nope." The smirk stays steady on his lips but he's holding back a laugh.

"Liar." You raise your brows at him and you’re begging for him to just do it. Do something.

"What shit do you think I'm pulling?"

"I dunno." You shrug, your thumbs rubbing over his skin softly. "Playing chicken."

"We're always doing that."

"Uh-huh, but I'm on top of you now." You offer him a grin, trying to swallow your own nerves.

Jason lets out a breath and he isn't sure how to commit to this. He doesn't know how. When he tried with Rose, it blew up. She avoided it until she couldn't anymore. Jason doesn't want to do that to you but he doesn't know how to go about it. What if you leave? What if being more than whatever the hell you are is too much? He doesn't know how that could be the case but maybe it is. That's when Rose decide to come clean. She used him. You aren't Rose but it's still a fresh wound and he can't wrap his head around someone sticking it out with him. But he wants you to. He doesn't know how to fully commit to it besides your game so he sits up and decides to push the game a little further.

"Is that an issue?" Jason is sitting on the way up, hands now on the bed to hold himself up.

You can't help but notice how cold your thighs are without his hands on them anymore and you’re already wanting to yank his hands back into place. But, instead, you look to his lips and you think maybe this is easier than committing to it. You don't have to talk about it, if something happens. You had to at the tower because Gar was involved, too many people around. It was complicated. It doesn't have to be now because it's just you and him.

You shake your head. "No." Your voice is quiet. You move your hands to his shoulders and you can't breathe. But it always feels cathartic with him. "Issue for you?"

"No." Jason's voice is low and he hasn't stopped looking at your lips.

You can see his chest moving with every breath, as if he can't decide if he should do it so you decide, you'll make the move. You won't chicken out this time because what do you have to lose at this point? You'll leave the door wide open for him and it's up to him what he does with it.

"Nervous?" You ask and you close some of the distance between you.

Jason's heart plummets in his stomach. "Fuck no." His voice is groveled as he swallows thickly glancing to your eyes and his breathing quickens just enough for you to notice.

"Really? Cause you seem a little nervous." You taunt him and Jason looks back to your eyes and his eyes are darken than usual.

He will never let you think he's nervous but he’s also a little worried you can actually hear the thundering in his chest. It’s almost deafening to him.

Jason grabs your hips and pulls you closer to him and he hears you gasp, your grip tightening on his shoulders. "Not a fucking chance, babe."

You see your opening. "Prove it." You bite back without missing a beat. Jason's eyes widen and he swears his heart just stopped beating. "We don't have to do that talking shit after." You rest your forehead against his. "Prove it, Jay." You taunt and Jason can't take it anymore.

Jason grabs your face and slams his lips against yours. You completely melt against him. You slide your hands up his neck and into his hair. You give the strands a light tug, Jason letting out a groan into your mouth. Jason lets himself get lost in your kiss. It's even better than your kiss from before. This is so much better because it's because you both want it and not because he almost died. It's led up to this moment and you don't have to have that talk. There is no feeling of being too exposed or the consequences of your actions. It's him and you. And you taste like a Sunday morning sunrise.

You taste bright and warm and calm. You’re a Sunday morning sunrise. The start of a new week, where nothing else matters from the other seven days. You taste like a fresh start where none of the horrors that took place on a Saturday night could ever matter because he made it to see the sunrise. He made it one more week and one more week next to you. You taste like the feeling of his bed after a long day of patrol. Your mouth moves with his and he swears he feels like he's been given a second chance at this life. You’re warm and comfortable and he thinks he might be able to do this all night if you'll let him He doesn't feel so damaged or broken, he just feels safe and alive.

He's intoxicating in the best possible way. You’re  so enthralled by him. He's pretty and smart and funny. He's a smartass and strong, physically and mentally. He's kind with a little bit of a roughness to that kindness. He looks out for people and wants to protect strangers. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of Jason Todd but to you, he is good. He is enough and he is perfectly flawed in a way that makes him perfect. And being with him, makes you feel so alive again.

In that basement, getting tortured, you couldn't remember what it felt like to be alive. To breathe with ease, to not feel endless dread and despair, to not feel numb to everything. You didn't remember what it was like to feel anything besides rage and sadness. But, you meet him and everything that happened to you, matters but in a way that has never made you feel like damaged goods. He sees you at your worst and instead of being mean or cruel, or running, he stays. He reads to you and trains with you. He smirks at you and flirts but never crosses that line because that wouldn't be fair. He accepts you for everything you are today and who you'll be tomorrow. Jason Todd is this bruised masterpiece of a person who deserves far more than he has ever been given.

Jason pulls away, catching his breath and he takes a second to rest his forehead against yours. His hands are still in your hair. A lazy smile dances gently onto his face and his mind is so clear right now. His only thought is you and the way his lips are tingling and his cheeks are aching in a way he wants to feel for the rest of his life. That drug bust today, means nothing because this is the happiest he's been since before Deathstroke. And when his eyes open, you’re barely looking at him, your eyes half-lidded. He's never felt this way about someone. He didn't even think he was capable of it.

"I win." Jason's voice is graveled and raspy as he lifts his forehead from yours, lettings his hands fall from your hair and down your back. But he's careful not to let his hands off you because the idea of letting go entirely almost makes him nauseous.

You narrow your eyes, daunting a smirk. "Did you though?" You quip but your voice is so much softer than usual, it's almost like velvet.

Jason tilts his head to the right, raising his brows. "Told me to prove it and I did so yeah." It's a nervous laugh that leaves his lips.

You nod your head and you don't care what you have to do, but you'll do anything right about now to keep kissing him. "Remember I told you that one day I'd commit to your little game and you wouldn't know what to do?" You laugh softly and Jason deadpans. "You said you would still win because I would cave. Hey, Jay," You vibrate on top of him as a laugh comes through your throat. "You committed to your own game so by your own logic, I just won."

Jason tilts his head forward, touching your forehead for just a second and he's so crazy about you. "You played me!" A laugh rips through Jason's chest as he tilts his head back and you nod quickly.

"Well, to be fair, I didn't think you'd do it." Your cheeks hurt from laughing and you want to play this game. This game is more fun. "I will say though," You let your laugh subside as Jason shakes his head and he can't believe you beat him at his own game. And that's why he likes you. "You were right, that's a win-win."

Jason's chest blooms with your words. "Yeah? And how's that?" Jason smirks at you, playing dumb as he shrugs his shoulders. He wants to hear you say it and you know that's what he's doing by the devious smirk on his face.

"I know what you're doing." Your eyes widen and you tilt your head side to side slightly, mocking him.

"Don't know what the fuck you're talking about." The smirk splits his face this time and he thinks he could do this all night with you. Back and forth, going for it again and then back and forth. Never having that talk that would change things a little too much for right now.

"Okay," You let out a scoff and roll your eyes. You decide you'll go ahead and just say it. The worst that can happen is he'll laugh and then you'll laugh with him. But, the best thing that can happen is that he'll kiss you again. "Because kissing you is kind of sort of fun, I guess."

"Oh, you guess?" Jason mocks you and he thinks the smirk might have nailed itself to his face. His heart is booming and all he can feel right now is absolute joy. "Think it's more than kind of sort of by the look on your face right now."

"Shut up. I don’t have a look!" You defend as you squeeze his shoulders.

"Yeah, ya do, babe.” Jason tilts his head as he glances to your lips and he's just waiting for a good opportunity to go again.

"Shut the fuck up." You lean forward, resting your head on his shoulder and Jason laughs.

For a second, you wonder if this is what it would be like, if you had the talk. You're both terrified of the talk changing things too much and putting too much pressure on this thing you have going. But, you wonder if maybe it wouldn't be so bad and this is what it would like. You'd say you like him and he'd say he likes you, too then tease you about it. And you'd tease him back before kissing him. And maybe it would work. Maybe you'd both be happy...together. But, you brush the thought away because you said you wouldn't have that talk.

You pick your head up after a few seconds and Jason was never this happy in San Francisco. You can see it across his face. It's the way his eyes are crinkled at the corners and the softness that glosses over his sea-green eyes.

"Okay," You suck in a breath. "What are we doing now?" You ask and Jason almost pauses, thinking you want to have the talk you said you wouldn't have to have. "Like, for the night." You clarify.

Jason shrugs and maybe this is kind of nice. His eyes look up as a smirk dances over his lips and he decides to go for it. "More of this?"

He offers it and he's completely serious despite the smirk. It's fun and he likes you, adores you. You’re everything he has ever wanted and never deserved. But, he thinks that committing to it, wholeheartedly with a conversation, is too hard. Too much pressure. This way, it's kind of like you get a trial in it. See how it goes, where it goes. Maybe you can fall into something more by accident. Everything between you this far has been some sort of accident. Accidents seem to work for you.

You narrow your eyes slightly and you can't tell if he's messing with you or not. It doesn't seem like he is but a part of you think he might be. While you might be certain there's more between you, there is that sliver of doubt that you’re imaging it. You like him so much so maybe you’re making it up to fill some part of your ego. Maybe having clarity there would be a lot more painful than you’re willing to admit.

"Hmm." You hum, Jason wiggling his brows at you and he's trying not to let on just how nervous he is for your answer. "You fucking with me?"

Jason lets out a chuckle. "Nope." Jason sucks in a breath that has the slightest quiver.

Jason's hoping you say yes because even though this wouldn't be anything serious or filled of commitment to each other, it would hurt if you said no. He has a lot of self-doubt. He doesn't think he's worthy or deserving. He'll never understand your kindness for him but a part of him, deep down, knows you feel the same way. So, he's hoping against every bad thought he's ever had, you'll be willing to do this by accident with him.

You tap your thumbs against his skin, thinking of how can you can ask for clarity without having that conversation. "So...what? Friends with benefits kind of deal or?" You grin at him and the flush of Jason's cheeks comes right back in full force.

Jason's thumbs are rubbing your sides lightly. "Could be fun." He tries to keep his calm despite the fire that's raging through his chest.

That's enough clarity for you and you think it might actually be a good idea. "Yeah," You let out a soft laugh. "Could be, make the game a bit more fun."

Jason lets out a laugh and it's so easy with you. "Could."

He's feeling a little more nervous, waiting for you to say you’re not about something like that. He's waiting for you to back out of it but he's hoping you don't. Jason knows you like to run when things get too good but maybe this can be good for you, too because friends with benefits is basically a no strings attached thing. Maybe you won't feel like you need to run.

You shakes your head and you think this is good because you fell for him by accident. You’re not exactly sure when it even happened, not for sure, but you know it was an accident. And then you picked him on purpose. So, maybe this will let you both do that, by accident at first and then on purpose.

And maybe you won't run and maybe he won't push. Maybe, just maybe, falling into this on accident and then on purpose, gives you both a chance at survival.

"Okay, Jay." You chew the inside of your cheek. "But it stays between you and me."

"You and me." Jason nods his head, inching closer to you.

You slide your hands from his shoulder to his neck before you close the distance and this time the kiss is softer as you tangle your hands in his hair. Jason lets out a breath as he smiles against you. You are everything he has ever wanted.

Jason deepens the kiss as his entire body erupts into a state of catharsis. You didn't turn this down. You didn't turn him down. He gets to kiss you and kiss you and kiss you again. It's like his days have blurred into one between patrol and nightmares. It's all become a deep dark blur of blues and reds but right now, it's as if everything is coming right back onto focus in perfect color. Nothing else besides you even matters in this exact moment because you pick him, in some way, you’re picking him and maybe he can be worthy of you. Because he has never felt so happy and cared for than he does when you’re with him.

The kiss grows sloppy and hungry, teeth clacking against each other as both of your hands grip for every part of each to bring yourselves closer together. Your hands settle to tangling in his damp hair and he tastes like Friday nights. It's those nights that are filled with neon lights and fireworks late at night on a beach where they are definitely not legal. He's the taste of roasted marshmallows over a warm bonfire and a lemon shakeup from that one booth at a carnival that gets them just right. He tastes like late Friday nights of staying out all night, running purely on adrenaline. He's the graffiti on the side of buildings and rush of getting caught. Jason tastes like freedom.

Jason bites your bottom lip, tugging softly and you groan against him, grinding down against him. You can feel Jason's rock-hard length growing under you and you can't help but grin to yourself.

"Didn't know I get you going so easily, Jay." Your voice is dropping and low against his lips before you kiss him again.

"So, why don't you do something about it?" Jason asks, kissing your lips to your cheek and then to your neck.

Your eyes close as you melt against the soft kisses he leaves behind. "Don't threaten me with a good time."

Jason bites down on your neck, sucking a bruise against your skin as you let out a soft moan. Jason grins against your skin. He could listen to you all night.

"Wouldn't be a threat." Jason mutters moving up your neck, coming back to your lips and slamming his against yours.

You slide your hands to his shoulders and push him back against the bed, following the motion down. You kiss down his cheek to his neck and it's your turn to leave a mark this time. You nip at the area, teasing him as he shifts under you. You bite down and sucks a deep purple mark right into his neck. You make sure it's in a spot he can cover...if he wants to. Jason groans under you and you love hearing him. And you decide to just go for it.

You start kissing your way down his chest and Jason feels his stomach flipping while his heart stutters. He watches you, pupils lust blown as you reach his shorts. You tug the band, kissing around his waist as Jason's breath catches in his throat and he flexes his stomach.

"You're a fucking tease." Jason groans and you snicker against his skin.

"You're so needy." You tease kissing up his abs again, staying in the spot as you feel him flex against your lips.

Jason bites down, clenching his jaw. You kiss back down to the waist of his shorts and he ruts his hips up, desperate for you to do something about it. You tug his shorts, Jason helping to pull them down. His cock bounces against his abs once it's released, rock hard and even bigger than you thought it'd be.

You take his length in one hand, giving it a few pumps before licking from the base to his red tip.

"Fuck." Jason groans with the action, his eyes shut.

You take him into your mouth, wrapping your lips around his shaft. Jason looks down and the sight alone makes him nearly burst. He slams his head back against the bed, tangling his hands in your hair. You take as much of him as you can in your mouth as you fall into a steady rhythm against his cock.

You can hear Jason grunting softly from above you and his hips jerk forward every few seconds. You use your free hand to push his hips down and keep him steady. You lick the very tip, your tongue sliding in the slit as you taste him. Jason lets out a hiss as his stomach churns.

Jason is ready to combust in a million pieces. His head is swimming and spinning. His cock throbs in your mouth. And he can feel himself inching closer, trying to buck his hips into your mouth. His grip on your hair tightens as his breathing quickens. You can feel it, too and you’re not letting him get off that easily. You suck the tip before popping off, Jason swears in through gritted teeth as you smirk up at him. He swears he's getting you back for that.

"You make pretty noises, Jay." You climb back up his body and the smirk you’re wearing makes Jason nearly lose the rest of his sanity.

Jason meets you halfway, sitting up as you straddle his lap. He collides his lips against yours in a desperate and heated kiss. Jason's hands slide to your ass, giving it a squeeze and pulling as close to him as humanly possible. Somehow, it still doesn't feel quite close enough. Jason slides his hands to the hem of your shirt, trying to slide it off but you stop him. Jason pulls away, furrowing his brows. If you don't want to, that's fine. But he's a bit confused by it given your current state.

"Don't make it weird." You say through a heaving breath, your lips kiss-blown.

Jason's chest rises quickly, scanning your face for an answer. "What do you mean?" Jason raises a brow and you're friends, you just gave him a blowjob. He's pretty sure you're passed the weirdness of it all.

You chew the inside of your cheek and you trust him with everything in your being. It's him. It's always going to be him. You’re certain this cute boy with more trauma than an ER is it for you. But, it makes you a little nervous anyway.

"Just...don't make it weird, okay?" You nod once.

"Okay..." Jason nods his head, pulling your shirt up and over your head, a lot more gently than originally intended.

He gets it once he has your shirt off. Jason notices everything. He's very observant and he notices the way you tug the sleeves over your hands when you’re nervous. He didn't know you before so he could never figure out if it was because of the ligature scars or if it were a nervous tick. You don't do it as much around him anymore so he chalked it up to a nervous tick but now he's realizing it's just because you’re comfortable with him. He found the scar on your hip and he swore he didn't care about it and he'd protect you. But, he didn't see it. And now he's getting the full view.

There's a scar from the very edge of your shoulder where your collarbone starts that goes down just above your breast. There's another one hugging your ribcage and then there's the one that hugs your hip. They're harsh reminders of the hell you went through and you wear hoodies usually because at least you’re guarded by more fabric. And Jason can feel rage filter into his blood.

"Jerry?" Jason ask through gritted teeth.

You chew the inside of your cheek and you hate those scars. They're reminders, every single day, they're reminders of what happened. And it's like he won. He didn't, you escaped and lived and he's rotting away. But, then you look in the mirror and it's like he still won because you’re the one still dealing with the scars of it all.

"Like I said, he did all sorts of shit to try and get my powers to show up." You don't feel nearly as ashamed of them as you did early today even. Jason has one from someone he was supposed to trust, too. He has scars. But you feel a little exposed anyway because no one knows. Just him and you. "There's more, too." You hang your head and Jason is not letting you do that to yourself.

"Hey." Jason cups your face, making you look at him. "I don't care." Jason shakes his head. "But I'll kill any fuck that tries to do this shit again to you, alright? I told you, they'll have to go through me."

You offer him a soft smile. "Awfully nice of you, Jay."

Jason offers you a grin. "I can be nice." Jason chuckles. "The scars are hot anyway." His voice drops and that signature smirk of his replaces the grin.

You let out a laugh, your nose scrunching. "So are yours."

Jason slams his lips against yours and he steals the air right from your lungs. You’ve never felt more comfortable being so exposed. He makes you comfortable. He makes you happy. He makes you feel alive again. You can breathe with ease around him. The world is light and airy with him around. He is this flawed perfect piece of graphite and you adore him with every fiber that makes you, you.

Jason undoes your bra, tossing it to the side before moving to your breast, pinching one of your nipples between his fingers. You let a quiet whimper, your hands holding his nick between your hands. Jason doesn't mess around long there before coming back up to your mouth. Jason pushes you back, switching so he's on top. With you flat on your back and your hands tingled in his hair, Jason slides a hand in your shorts, under your underwear. He gains a devious grin.

"You're soaked." His voice is rough and groveled.

You feel your cheeks burn. "So do you something about it." You quips against his lips.

Jason teases your opening before sliding in one finger. He pumps you a few times before sliding in a second finger and using his thumb to circle your clit. You’re unraveling right under him. You try to keep up with kissing him and it's filling Jason's ego. Your entire body is on fire and it's because of him.

He feels you clench around his fingers so he pulls out. You barely let out a frustrated whimper against him, clenching your jaw together.

"Shithead." You hiss against his lips.

"Babe." His voice nearly sends you into a tailspin. “Look who’s needy now.” Jason says in your mouth so you bite his bottom lip. Jason’s arms nearly give out with sensation.

He slides his fingers back in and goes slower this time. You swear he's the biggest tease on the face of the planet. And you wouldn't have him any other way as your head spins and your stomach does a hundred backflips.

"You have a condom?" You manage to ask against his lips.

Jason chuckles against you, sliding his hand away from you. "Course." Jason shifts towards his nightstand, opening it to grab a condom while you get under the blankets, discarding the rest of your clothes.

Jason gets the condom on before sliding under the blankets himself and on top of you. He lines himself up with your entrance before slowly sliding in. You whimper under him as he fills you up. Once he bottoms out, he takes a second to kiss you this time more gently than before allowing you to adjust to him. Then he starts pumping into you with smooth and steady strokes. You’re writhing under him and he want to hear more of you. He grab your thigh with one hand, lifting it up and towards you to give him more leverage and you swear under your breath.

Jason rests his forehead against yours. "Let me hear you." Jason's voice is so groveled you nearly explode right then and there.

You let out a moan, louder this time and Jason thrusts grow sloppier. He thinks he could drown in the sounds of you. You dig your nail into his back, tugging him closer to you. You bite his bottom lip so hard you nearly draw blood and you feel Jason stutter against you.

"Jay." You moan out his name, your nails scratching up his back.

"Shit." Jason hisses, stalling inside of you for a split second. "Keep doing that." Jason picks up his thrusts, quicker and harder this time.

"Jason." Your voice is louder this time, more desperate, your nails digging in deeper. You feel dizzy under him while Jason feels like he's bursting into flames.

"Come on, babe. Cum for me." Jason urges you and he's about to come undone.

"Jay!" You scream out, feeling the rubber band finally snap in your stomach as you shake against him. Your eyes roll into the back of your head and Jason pumps harder and faster into you.

"Fuck." Jason groans, feeling his own rubber band finally snap as he stalls inside of you, the two of you riding out your orgasms together.

Jason rests his forehead against yours with a hearing chest. You open your eyes and Jason's skin is glistening with a sheer layer of sweat and you think he's never looked prettier. You put a hand on his cheek and Jason opens his eyes. They're completely lust-blown and love drunk. Your lips are kiss-blown and you’re daunting the laziest but warmest smile Jason’s ever seen and Jason thinks you look beautiful.

Jason turns his head, kissing the palm of your hand before he rolls off of you, laying beside you. He gets rid of the condom in the trash can beside his bed before looking back at you. Your chest is still heaving but you look happy. Content. And you look back at him, and he looks happy, too.

"Well, that was fun." You let out a soft laugh.

"Have to do this more often." Jason gives you a toothy grin.

"I'm definitely not opposed." You lean over, poking the purple bruise you left him.

Jason's brows shoot up and he kind of thought this would be a one-time thing. "You fucking with me?" Jason asks.

"Nope." You laugh. "Completely serious. Like I said, you needed to get laid." You tease him and a part of you thought it might be a little awkward after because friends don't do that. But, nothing about this feels awkward. It feels, somehow, so normal.

"Fuck you!" Jason's laugh fills the entire room and you can't help the way you beam with the sound.

"I just did." You let out a laugh and there's a prideful smile at your lips. Jason almost grabs you and pulls you for another kiss.

"Round two?" Jason raises.

"Okay, Energizer Bunny, not letting you get too lucky. Fuck knows your ego doesn't need it."

"It definitely does." Jason gives you a fake pout.

You want to kiss the fake pout off his face. "Shtihead." You roll your eyes with a smile that might be permanently glued to your face.

"Babe." There's a softness to the way he says it this time.

You shake your head, turning away from him and leaning over the bed to grab your clothes. Jason watches you as you get dressed, not facing him. He gets a sight of a few more scars across your back, up near your shoulders. He sees these five scars in lines by your shoulders and he knows. He hates that piece of shit more than he hates anyone.

"You staring, Jay?" You ask, not liking Jason being silent.

"He do that, too?" Jason asks and you look over your shoulder at him before picking up his shirt from the floor.

"Mhm." You hums, tossing his shirt over your head.

There is nothing in this world Jason won't do to make sure that never happens again. He is pissed. Furious. Almost wishes he would have let you kill him. Just almost. You’re one of the most incredible people he's ever met. You didn't deserve that shit. You don't deserve those scars and the pain you go through. It's not fair. You deserve better.

"I'm fucking serious, anyone tries any shit with you, they're gonna deal with me." Jason's jaw is clenched and he swears it. No one ever lays a hand on you again.

You grab his shorts, turning back to face him and you’ve never seen that look on his face before. But something about it, brings you comfort. Your mom is the only one who's ever looked out for you like that but that was your mom. That was her job. This is not Jason's and he'll do it anyway.

Jason gains a soft smile looking at you in his shirt. He could get used to that.

You climb back on the bed, resting on your knees as you hand him his shorts. "Same to you, ya know?"

"I don't think I need your help, babe." Jason chuckles, sitting up.

You think it's not about whether he needs the help or not but rather, about knowing someone would do it anyway. And you would, it's not a lie. He's Robin and that's awesome, it's cool, and he's good at it. But he's also Jason Todd. And anyone that hurts him, is gonna have a hell of a bad day when you find out.

"Mhm, I know. But I mean it anyway. You being Robin is great and all, but if someone tries to hurt you as Jason Todd," You poke his chest gently. "They'll have to go through me."

Jason lets out a soft laugh and he can handle himself. But, he also knows you’re serious. He'd protect you from anything and everything and you would do the same for him. No one has ever looked out of him like that. Ever. Not until Bruce anyway. It's always just been him and while he never wants you to do that or expect that of you, his heart warms and he adores you for it.

"And I will melt their faces off." You grin widely at him, flashing your hands as they glow green and Jason lets out a booming laugh.

"How do you do that?" Jason asks, jerking his head up. "I mean, so easily."

You shrug. "I dunno, Dick asked that, too. I can just do it." You open and close your palms, the glowing going in and out with the movement. "Think about it and it happens."

"That's kind of sick." Jason offers you a grin. "Does it hurt?"

"Nope, just warm. I showed Gar, want me to show you?" You offer with ease. Jason's never really asked about your powers. Jus the combat clairvoyance. You got the idea that Jason isn't a fan of the powers thing. You get it, you definitely aren't either. But he doesn't seem bothered now.

"You gonna melt my face off?" Jason quips and he's a bit unsure of it. Rachel tried to kill him.

"Of course not." You chortle. "Who would I have to look at if I melted you?" The sarcasm fills your voice as your eyes widen.

Jason lets out a nervous chuckle, red creeping onto his cheeks. "Alright, show me."

You let your right hand glow, feeling your palm grow warm. You make a fist, making sure your entire palm is covered by your fingers before you rest your fist, fingers against his skin, to his chest. The spot right above Jason's heart grows warm with the touch. It doesn't hurt or burn or even tingle. It's just a warm like a heating pad. There's something incredible about it and the control you have over it. Jason will never fully get the powers thing but this is something he does find interesting and cool. You didn't get the whole cape thing until Jason told you about it, he's wondering if this is what that was like for you.

"See, that's it feels like it for me even when acid is literally dripping from my hands. It gets warmer but you get the idea." You pull your hand away, the glowing fading.

"That's awesome." Jason gushes. "Got your own set of hand warmers."

"Exactly!" You let out a laugh.

Tonight has been fun. It's some of the most fun Jason's hand in quite a while. Between the bust and being here with you, and everything that followed, it's just fun. And he feels free and alive and so genuinely happy. He finds himself not wanting to go to sleep or get ready for bed but not because he's worried about nightmares, but because he doesn't want this to end. He doesn't want you to go to your room.

"Hey," Jason starts. "You wanna sleep in here?" He asks. "I mean, we turn on one of your movies and shit." Jason catches himself, you're still friends.

"That is a very tempting offer." You smirk at him and you were hoping he'd ask you to stay. "Might as well." You shrug before getting off the bed. "I'll be back. Turn on Tangled, Disney Plus."

"You're making me watch a Disney movie after that?" Jason chortles as he gets up to get dressed.

"Yeah, I'm in the mood to watch the lantern scene." You holds your up with confidence.

"I have no idea what that means." Jason shrugs, turning to face you once his shorts are on.

"It's the way Flynn looks at Rapunzel. And then what happens after." You give him a pout and he almost laughs because you’re so serious about it. It's the cutest thing in the world.

"Oh, so it's that serious?" There's sarcasm in his voice but he's still smiling gently at you.

"Jason, she was his new dream, you don't understand." You vibrate as laughter rip through you.

"I still have no fucking idea what that means." Jason laughs with you, looking to the floor and back to you. He wants to keep it going because the way you’re talking about this makes him fall harder for you.

"You'll see. I promise, it's great."

"You've said that about every movie you've made me watch."

"And I've been right about all of them."

"Yeah, okay." Jason lets out a fake huff before he sits back on the bed, reaching for his remote. "Hurry up then or I'll start it without you." Your eyes narrow at him and you open your mouth as Jason tries to beat you to punch. "Shithead."

"Babe." You say his line at the same time he says yours.

"Okay." A chortle escapes his lips. "You're proud of yourself for that one, huh?"

"A little yeah." You give him a cheeky smile, turning on your heels. "Do not," You turn around as you get to the door. "Start without me." You point a finger at him before darting out of the room before Jason can say anything else.

While Jason waits for you, he sits back on his bed, getting comfortable with the movie paused. And all he can think about is how much he likes you. His head swims with every detail about you and he doesn’t even notice the corners of his mouth perking up into an adoring smile. And he thinks about how maybe the manor did feel a little lonely when Bruce would leave him alone but he swears tonight, it doesn’t. 

He’s spent a lot of his life feeling lonely. Sure, some of that he brought on himself with pushing everyone as far away from him as he possibly could. But, some of that was just his circumstances. And he’s thinking, just this small part of him, thinks maybe life isn’t supposed to feel lonely. It’s just the only thing he’s ever known. But, he doesn’t feel lonely when he’s with you.

When you come back a few minutes later, you have your gloves on and Jason lets himself smile. He's glad they work, he wasn't sure if they would or not. But clearly, they do. And it's kind of like you have a part of him when you sleep. Not really but kind of. It was his idea. Using the same fibers in his cape for the gloves. It's his thing. You slide into bed with him, resting your head on his now-clothed chest.

"You stole my shirt." Jason says as he slides his arm around you and he thinks you fit perfectly in this spot.

"You have plenty." You state, watching the opening scene with Mother Gothel.

"Oh, so you're gonna steal my clothes now?" Jason chortles as he moves his head to get a look at your face.

"Comfy." You hum against him before looking up at him. You can't tell, but he's never looked at you this way before. His eyes are soft, lacking of any devious plans or intentions. They're just soft and gentle, completely adoring of you. "Do you mind?" You ask and for a second, you worry his does.

He would never mind. And it looks better on you anyway. "No." Jason's voice is soft this time and butterflies explode through your blood. Maybe liking him isn't the right word.

"Good." You snuggle closer to him, while Jason slides his hand under your shirt, rubbing your back gently.

prev. chapter | next chapter 

series masterlist | masterlist | tag list

Tag list: @fairyofshampoo // @italiana-20 // @jasontoddsmentaldisorders // @purplerose291 // @lovelessamai  // @makaelaseresin // @lenidaslenchen // @mayfieldss  // @ghostkingblake // @im-done-with-this-im-out // @velvetskies // @lilylovelyxo // @cryinghotmess // @yesimwriting // @vivian-555 // @anthemabby // @baebeepeach // @legend-o-zelda // @harleycao // @somehow-lovable-trash  // @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx // @deyja-the-duck // @jasontoddslover //  @captainmarvels-blog​

#jason todd x reader #jason todd fanfic #jason todd fanfiction #jason todd smut #titans fanfic #titans fanfiction #petrichor

[luffyrose]

Ghost in a Birdcage - DC x DP AU

I got a name for the Au! I am referencing the song Rule #4 Fish in a Birdcage as the title. I thought the song actually fit this whole au pretty well so yeah :D

Anyway, I told y'all I was working on stuff and part of it was this (plus the memes, which I'll share later) as well as thinking of a design for my Danny in this AU. I have a few ideas, but I'll probably work on the story itself before actually solidifying it.

Here's a little bit of sadness and softness from the past in this AU. Idk if this will be put into the main story, but it's just a general short story that is canon for this au.

~~~~~~~

GiaB AU Taglist: @markus209 @olivethetreebitch @chrysanthemum9484 @blackroserelina @avelnfear @edgyboi10000 @lokiaddams @samgirl98 @phoenixdemonqueen @iceknight-of-sun @autumnwulf @chronicallyonline-fandomwh0r3 @thegatorsgoose @nikki-pondtheauthor @jaxinkh @paper-bag-boy @dxrksong @lesling123 @learning-to-fly-on-my-own @gmkelz11

(As a lil side note the tag list is gonna be on any writing I do for this au, if I make other posts about it I'll leave it to the tag for people to find. Not including a link to the Ao3 when I do make the fic or one-shot series itself, taglist will be there too :D)

~~~~~~~

Small sniffles filled the room. Jason's gaze shifted toward his little brother, a frown overtaking the anger that'd been apparent on his own face. Danny, his precious little brother, was laying on the mattress on the ground beside him. Turning and scooting closer, Jason's hand lightly landed atop slightly wet and messy curls.

"Danny, are you feeling better?"

He could see the younger open his mouth to speak, only to be interrupted by coughs. Along with the coughs, a loud clattering noise came from the door that had been locked from the outside. Gritting his teeth, the instant yelling from outside telling them to shut up making him look toward the door. Really, almost three years, and Catherine still couldn't accept that a toddler was going to be loud. Danny wasn't even loud on purpose! Huffing in silent rage, Jason's eyes fell back on his little brother.

Danny was staring up at Jay, his eyes wide in slight fear at the yelling, but he knew his brother would protect them. He was very small, almost 4 now according to Jason! But he was also very smart. His brother told him that a lot, especially when he hid away when the yelling or fights started. Danny liked to be smart. He didn't like seeing the other with new injuries though, but Jason let him put bandaids on them, and then he would take them out to the library.

The library was nice.

Catherine, that's what Jason always called the angry lady, didn't like to go in there. She didn't like to go anywhere with them, but Jason liked to take him places so it was okay. They didn't go places when sick though...so why was Jason getting some of his stuff?

"We're gonna go to the library buddy."

Seeing the smile that crossed the kid's face, the tension in his shoulder's loosened, but with the loud rattling of the door and cursing, they were right back to how they were before. Getting up quickly, he shoved what he could into a little bag and helped Danny up, the small boy coughing again.

"CALEB DANIEL TODD I SWEAR WHEN I GET THIS DOOR-"

Jason didn't let Danny hear the rest of it, carefully getting them both out onto the fire escape. He knew Catherine had been...less than ideal. His father was worse. But now with Willis gone, she didn't hold back. Half the time she wasn't home, the other half the time Jason was keeping her away from Danny. Sometimes he wished she just wouldn't come home, or that Danny wouldn't be in danger because she did.

So he made a plan. He was gonna get Danny a better home. A safe one. Except, when he'd gotten sick and wasn't getting better with the cold medicine he stole, Jason's plans didn't matter so much anymore. Danny needed somewhere to get better, but he needed a way to do that first. He'd found a way...though he didn't like it.

Carrying the younger on his back, the backpack slung over his front while a star blanket Jason had actually bought for once was draped over them both. Danny was watching the people they passed by, a small but nervous smile on his face before he inevitably hid his head in the crook of Jason's neck. "Jay Jay..." The elder hummed, feeling the smaller hands tighten for a moment after. "Is Cat-rin gonna be mad at you again?"

Slowing for only a second, Jason scanned the area before looking at his brother. Danny was too smart for his age, and Jason knew it was because of their stupid 'parents'. "She's not gonna have the time to be mad at me..." He trailed off, the lump in his throat stopping him from saying anything else until they were already in front of the Library. Slipping through the door when a young adult couple was leaving, too distracted in their conversation to notice the two poor kids, they made their way to a small dusty nook.

The nook itself was filled with old books that most no one wanted to read, and the librarian who'd seen them reading there tended to leave them be. Setting Danny down, Jason held up a finger, turning to go get some better books from elsewhere. A small sneeze made him chuckle, knowing his little brother hated how dusty it was when they hadn't been back for a while. Slipping through the isles he got himself some bigger books, and a few picture books for Danny. He knew the kid would read one or two before asking for Jason to read him his books, so he'd started picking light-hearted stories or classics whenever the two came.

Making his way back and sitting down, Jason passed the smaller storybook about stars to his brother, watching Danny's expression almost glow at seeing it. At first, Jason let himself be absorbed in his own book, the only thing other than it he paid attention to being the gentle pressure that was Danny leaning against him. It was after a little while that Jason realized Danny hadn't started to bug him like usual. Looking over from his own book, he saw Danny staring at one of the pictures of a constellation.

"Do you wanna learn more about the stars?"

He'd jumped, but Danny had nodded after a moment. Something was bugging him, Jason could tell, but he wasn't about to push it. Instead, he smiled and grabbed one of the nearby books. It was a much older book, more of a journal really, but it held a bunch of sketches of the constellations. So the two sat there, whispering to one another in the privacy of the little nook. Jason was glad he knew some astrology, and Danny was so genuinely amazed, that he could ignore the lingering pain from old injuries that hadn't had time to heal.

Feeling a small tug, Jason looked toward Danny, frowning slightly when he saw small tears. "Jay Jay...are you gonna go somewhere?" He could feel the pit in his stomach knot even more at that, staring for a moment before a wobbly smile tried to cover his face.

"...What?"

A sniffle caused the smile to fall. "Danny, hey, buddy, I'm not going anywhere...I- I'm gonna find somewhere better for you though. Somewhere where you'll get to feel better and not be afraid." Looking down as Danny's small tears covered his face, he gently used his sleeve to wipe them away, knowing he would never have the heart to lie to him. "That's not gonna happen yet though...and when you have a nice home, I'll make sure to visit. We can read and look at constellations too."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I'll do everything I can to try and keep that promise, alright?"

"Promises are hard to keep..."

Jason felt a sigh escape his lips, putting the book fully to the side and pulling Danny in for a hug. "They are...but just because they are doesn't mean that I won't try my best." Holding onto the younger, he felt the tears soak through the shirt on his chest, ignoring it. After Danny had stopped crying, he moved the boy back, hands on his shoulders. "If I can't keep my promise, you can get back at me." The small gasp from that made him laugh.

He seemed almost offended that Jason had said such a thing. "I don't wanna!" Jason tried not to laugh more, ruffling the younger's hair. "If you don't" —he was clearly thinking deeply about a suitable punishment— "then you have to help me." A proud smile formed on his face. With a slight smirk, Jason pulled the other back onto laying on his chest.

"Help ya with what?"

"With family."

It was quiet for a moment, Jason's fingers twitching for a moment before he started messing with Danny's hair. "How so little mans?" Danny seemed even more confused, pursing his lips as he kicked his feet some. Watching him with a small smile, Jason couldn't help but think this was the reason he'd survived so long. Danny was the one good thing in his life that had no strings attached. He was fine with that...but he needed Danny to be alright, even if it meant not being right there.

"You gotta help us have a BIIIIGGGG family. With more sib-a-lings!"

There was a snort from the older, ruffling Danny's hair. "You said it wrong you little dingus." Danny's own laughter erupted from him after a moment, swatting Jason's hand away. "But sure. If I break my promise, then I'll help you get a big and nice family." The toddler seemed to absolutely beam at that. "However! I still get to be the best brother-" Danny giggled at that, "and if anything is ever wrong you come to me, no matter what. Alright?"

With a happy nod, Danny's hair was once again ruffled up by Jason, the laughter filling up the small area they were in. Even when a few older ladies glanced over, not a word was spoken to the two. And when the librarian found both boys sleeping...well, if she gently readjusted the blanket they'd brought and let them sleep it was between her and the other librarians.

#dc x dp #dp x dc #dc #dc comics #dcmultiverse #danny phantom #danny fenton #jason todd #GiaB AU

[felicitysmoaksx]

Hi everyone! Thanks so much for sticking with this story! This chapter while on the shorter side took a while to find its voice because I had an idea that wasn't going the way I wanted it to. So I scraped part of it and kept some of it. And this is my Frankenstein chapter. Hopefully, there won't be such a long gap between this chapter and the next. Thanks so much for reading! Hope you enjoy it!

Rating: Mature

Summary:   Her eyes squeezed shut before she dropped her head. Borrowed time. It was meant to be her…It was meant to be-

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: Complications with a birth that end in death are mentioned, but don't go into great detail, and heavy survivor's guilt.

Read On AO3 |  Fic Playlist | Fic Playlist but Less Shippy | Want to be tagged when I post a Rheese story?

“I loved the stories you and Sarah shared about Justin,” Natalie said with a laugh to Tucker while they were both in the kitchen getting a drink. If he hadn’t already said that he spent almost every day here, how easily he navigated this kitchen would’ve said that for him. The man nodded, laughing along with her.

“I still can’t believe Hank knew about the concert in New York and didn’t bust us for it,” Tucker shook his head, grabbing a beer out of the fridge while handing Natalie another water. 

Usually, he’d stop drinking after one beer, so he could drive home. But he wasn’t driving home because he was staying here. Olive was having trouble sleeping alone in Justin’s room by herself, so Tuck offered to blow up the air mattress and shove it in between the foot of the bed and the desk like he used to when he slept over so she could have some company. If the roles had been reversed, Justin would’ve done the same for Leah. He even thought he heard Annie say she and Erin were spending the night too and with Travis and Autumn taking Sarah and Erin’s old room…Maybe he should offer the air mattress to one of them and he just tough it out with a pillow and blanket on the floor. It was carpeted…

“I’m probably being nosy but I have a question that’s just been bugging me for a while,” Nat told him in an almost guilty tone. 

“Okay,” Tucker said feeling curious. 

“Autumn, I’m wondering why she follows Sarah like-”

“Like a little duckling following behind its Momma?” He finished for her and the female doctor nodded, “I asked Sarah about it…Actually, I assumed she was Autumn’s mother before I remembered that wasn’t possible because she would’ve had to be born right around the time Owen was…but she gave me a vague answer about it taking a village.” 

“When Leah gave birth to Autumn, it was like Murphy’s law. Anything that could go wrong, did. Preeclampsia but we already knew that it developed at the same time as her gestational diabetes. The doctors were slightly concerned but they said they’d monitor it and everything should’ve been fine.” Tucker's face twisted, while he watched his daughter clammer up into the brunette’s lap, “But we weren’t counting on there being a placenta abruption too.”

“Oh god,” Natalie breathed, second-hand dread filling up her stomach. Tucker swallowed. “Leah passed away due to labor complications and the doctors said Autumn almost went with her. They said my little girl was lucky to be alive,” 

“I-I am so sorry,” Natalie said, her heart breaking for both the man in front of her and the little girl. 

“So flash forward to two hours later? I’m not sure about the time. Most of that day is a blur, but I texted Sarah to let her know Autumn was here because Leah and I had decided we wanted it to be just us in the delivery room.”

He paused, shaking his head. “Justin was serving his year in jail, so we hadn’t seen each other as much because he was our bridge. Up until Autumn’s birth, Leah saw Sarah more than I did. Because I wasn’t sure if we were friends just because we were both Justin’s friends.” 

“What made you realize you were friends and not just because of Justin?”

“She showed up at Lakeshore Memorial. Now I remember this part perfectly, and I think it’s because of how surreal the situation felt. I told her, ‘Leah’s gone, and not only do I have to raise a baby by myself, which I have no clue how to do by myself, but I also have to bury my wife.’”

Natalie didn’t know who she felt worse for, because she had been in Tucker’s shoes with Jeff. But also for Sarah to hear something so jarring. Tucker smiled now, even if it trembled a little at the edges.

“And my best friend, the one who claims to have no maternal instincts, took it all in stride, squared her shoulders in a very Camillie Voight way, and I know you don’t know Ms. Camillie but trust me, I got chills. She said we’d figure it out together and we did.” Tucker shrugged, “She was with me every step of the way and yeah, I had a village between Hank, Erin, Annie, Justin when he got out, and Olive when she came along. Leah’s parents. Even my parents, but they’re older because they had me late in life so Sarah was…is…”

“You’re main support system,” the woman finished for him. He nodded, not even mentioning that the brunette practically lived at his house the first year of Autumn’s life. Because that’s how long it took him to get the hang of the whole parenting thing. That Sarah had to give him a crash course in everything baby. That Sarah changed her whole schedule around in her last year as a medical student, so that he could work at night and when he tried to thank her for it, she waved him off. Because that’s what best friend’s did.

 “She’s never tried to be Leah, and Autumn has other women in her life, but Sarah is her mother figure. The one she looks to first after me…Sometimes before me. I’m probably not explaining it right…” 

“No,” she reassured him because she got it, understood it. Will had been that for her, never replacing Jeff, but offering a support system all the same. “I understand what you’re trying to say.” 

 [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK]

“Can we talk?” Hank asked later that night after almost everyone had left. He had found Sarah in the backyard, staring at her tree with Connor’s suit jacket wrapped around her frame. The stark white gauze stuck out to him in the dead of the night. Like a reminder of what they had lost and what was almost lost. He turned and sat down next to where Sarah was sitting with her knees tucked in tight.  It had been Camille’s idea to plant two trees; one for each girl so they knew they had roots with the Voight family, when Erin and Sarah came to live with them.

For a second, he wondered if his youngest daughter heard him as she continued to stare ahead. Then she glanced sideways at him as she spoke quietly, “I hate when you say it like that. Quiet. Gentle. Like you’re trying to approach a deer without scaring it. Reminds me of when I used to get in trouble as a kid.”

“I was more stern than that,” Hank disagreed, with a shake of his head as he took a seat beside her. Sarah’s lips twitched as if she wanted to smile. But she hadn’t smiled since earlier when Tucker had made her laugh. He sighed, burying his hands in his coat pockets. “I’m worried about you, kid.”

“Isn’t it a little late for that?” She asked in a dry voice. When her joke missed its mark, Sarah shook her head. “I’m not your responsibility anymore, Hank.” 

(Sarah didn’t know that Hank refrained from commenting on her calling him Dad all day and now it was suddenly Hank?)  

“You’re my kid,” her pseudo-father disagreed quietly, looking at the young woman he had known since she was eight years old and took into his home at eleven, “It’s always going to be my responsibility to worry about you.”

[LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK]

“He’s worried about her,” Erin said quietly to Alvin as she started filling up the sink to wash the dishes. Most of everybody was gone after the emotionally draining day. The ones to linger were family, Tucker with Autumn, and Annie with Travis, Connor, their unit, Trudy, and Sarah’s co-workers from Med. 

“I think he has a right to. Doesn’t he? You probably remember it clearer than I do because you actually saw it while I only heard about it secondhand. You remember how hard Sarah took it after Camille died.”

Erin’s eyes widened as she turned to stare at the older cop. Because she did remember it. When everything with Sarah and Justin being shot, she didn’t even think about Sarah spiraling like she had with Camille’s death. 

Because there wasn’t a version of the world where Sarah and Justin both didn’t make it through this. And yet, here they were in a world post-Justin Voight. 

“This wasn’t supposed to happen, Al,” her voice broke, tears threatening to spill over. 

“I know. But it did. And now Hank is doing what he can to make sure she doesn’t disappear again.”

[LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK]

“I think you need to talk to someone,” Hank wasn’t sure how else to say it. How did he explain how much his youngest daughter was scaring him because he wasn’t even sure she was allowing herself to grieve. How could he ask her to see someone when she was a physiatrist? When she could probably see the signs, but was more than likely actively ignoring them in favor of anger?  When Sarah remained silent, he continued. “Sarah, I know you’re angry-”

“Of course I’m angry!” Sarah exploded, standing up. She paced a few steps forward before she whirled around to face her pseudo-father. Her arms flailed out in anger while tears welled up in her eyes. “Because no one understands that I’m the reason Justin is dead! If he hadn’t been protecting me…he’d still be here! No, instead they’re comforting me and checking on me when I don’t deserve that because the truth is I got your son killed, Hank.”

#one chicago #chicago med #chicago pd #Sarah Reese #hank voight #erin lindsay #my writing

[sugdenlovesdingle]

I wasn't going to post anything and focus on my day 3 flufftober fic that is still unfinished...

BUT you guys keep tagging me @lightningboltreader @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @carlos-in-glasses and apparently I give in to peer pressure easily lol

here's a little something from my day 7 fic (let's see if i manage to actually post it on the 7th)

---

“I wanted to get you a piece of cake but tía Lucy and your mom were in the kitchen and they insisted I take this huge piece. I heard your mom saying something about your dad having to watch what he eats because he's not as slim as he used to be.” He said and they both laughed.

“Do you have a fork or are you going to shove it in my face like our wedding cake?”

“Hey, you shoved that cake into my face. You started it. After you promised not to. You broke your vows less than an hour into our marriage.”

Carlos grinned and took the fork TK held out for him.

“I never promised not to shove cake in your face.” He said innocently and took a bite.

TK laughed and shook his head.

“You're lucky you're cute.”

“Just cute? Not devastatingly handsome? And really smart?”

“And so humble too.”

“I learnt from the best.”

“Are you calling me arrogant?!”

Carlos laughed.

“Of course not babe.” He took another bite. “You just taught me how to love myself, I suppose. You taught me a lot of things.”

“Yeah? Right back at you. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you. I'd probably still be picking bar fights just to feel something.”

“Nah. You would have picked yourself up sooner or later. And you would still be your amazing self. Just maybe not with that ring on your finger.” He glanced at TK’s wedding ring.

“Do you ever think about what would have happened if you hadn't been on shift that night? Or hadn't gone to the bar afterwards?”

“I used to.”

“Not anymore?”

Carlos shook his head.

“I'm just... enjoying the here and now. Life as your husband and our life together. Even if you're trying to get me fat.”

----

I have no idea who has been tagged so i'm tagging anyone and everyone who wants to share something!

#911 lone star #tarlos #wip wednesday #tarlos fic

[bg3-npc]

I wanna share my "BG3 Through Fandom Osmosis" experience:

Baldur's Gate 3 has been trending frequently on here since it's release. Besides being a video game, I had zero knowledge of it. It was trending so often I'd periodically check the tag out of curiosity.

However I was never there very long, because the tag was mainly Astarion. I'd skim the few top posts and get the gist of his deal: asshole with a tragic past, vampire, you can actually fix him, ect. I saw the appeal, but it wasn't there for me personally.

I didn't look any further into the game for a while because I didn't care about the only character getting engagement. Karlach had some attention at first, and she had grabbed mine. Unfortunately, content for her subsided and became outnumbered by Astarion stuff. The only other character I saw that piqued my curiosity in the game was quickly shoved to the side in favor of the vamp.

It wasn't until I saw a post of Wyll that I found out there were other companions to play. I went back to the BG3 tag for him, and imagine my surprise when I found out everything this game has to offer. Quests, character creation, multiple choices and endings, more hours of various content than Game Of Thrones or Lord of the Rings. You name it, this game has it. You can even play without the vamp! He's not strictly necessary for game completion! Endless gameplay options, but I had no idea because I saw NO content besides Astarion.

Is it nice to see a white guy that's actually a well developed character? Obviously! I like seeing people talk about him with actual canon instead of stuff people gleamed/made up about him. (At least most of the time.) That said, it's a disservice to anyone unfamiliar/interested in this game to give Astarion sole focus.

What if, and this is blasphemous I know, someone isn't drawn in by him? If there's no content for anything else, the assumption will be he's the best part of the gaming experience. From an outside perspective, you'd think BG3 is nothing more than a ~Special White Guy~ Dating Simulator. If you have no interest in him, why would you ever look further into the game?

If there's no new people playing BG3 and/or participating in fandom, then eventually even Astarion content will run dry. I don't want that for anyone in any part of this fandom! However, you've gotta have fans of different parts of the media itself if you want to keep a fandom alive.

It's also a bit insulting to the anyone who worked on anything non-Astarion related. All the energy that went into this massive game, only for everything outside of a singular character to go mainly ignored? While I've heard the other companions are "less developed", none of them are underdeveloped. They hold different parts of the game in themselves. There's so much to learn and work off with them. You're genuinely missing out on the game by ignoring them!

General Fandom Disclaimer™️: I'm not bashing anyone's love of him. If he's what you're drawn to, he's what you like. It's not your job to make fan content or engage with anything outside of your likes. Fandom is an individual experience, not advertising or a recruiting service. It's just personally frustrating cause there's literally an entire world outside of that vampire, but you wouldn't know that from looking at this fandom.

#baldur's gate 3 #astarion #karlach #wyll ravengard #shadowheart #gale of waterdeep #gale #gale dekarios #lae'zel #mine #🎮 bg3