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remuslupinslefteyebrow · 19 days

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The Infantilisation of Aziraphale and Why It’s Such An Awful Thing.

Hii there, I'm Teddy and um this is my yap because this is a very close to my heart subject as you probably will be able to tell upon reading. Sorry if theres any repeated points or errors, I did my best to edit it. Anyways, enjoy! <3

The infantilisation of Aziraphale undermines his whole personality as an age old being, one who is incredibly powerful, strong, and intelligent. Far from infantile, he's made rational decisions and at times let his emotions influence them, yes, but this is no way an excuse to chalk him down to childish. Infantilising Aziraphale also jeopardises his relationship with Crowley, someone just as old and intelligent as he is, yet he is rarely infantilised. Although Aziraphale’s decisions may be more ‘pure’ than Crowley's, influenced by his ideas of rules and obligation, pushed on him from his very creation, they don't display naivety or the foolishness depicted in many infantile decisions. (for the most part)

People often infantilise him to purposefully further the effeminate, ‘cutesy’ stereotype of gay men, specifically gay men that don't necessarily conform to society's very strict beauty constructs whether it be through age, appearance, nationality, disabilities all these things can affect it.

A lot of gay men face either infantilisation or hypersexualisation and the way some of the good omens fandom treats Crowley and Aziraphale is exactly this stereotype.

They strip down the personalities of crowley and Aziraphale to something that may be only a small fraction of their personality, like Aziraphale’s softness being turned into this shy, mouse of a person, relying on crowley for everything, helpless, pathetic, crowley’s sometimes suave, cool manner turning him into a ice-cold, smooth-talking often masochistic alpha male fucking sex god. Neither of them are these things.

The fandom also tends to deliberately remove Crowley's femininity which historically has been a large part of his character, just look at his portrayals throughout the years. Like why? All for the sake of some Colleen Hoover style fuck boy?? Hell to the fucking no.

They often turn Crowley into a total slut as well, mindless and perpetually horny, neither of those things is he, especially not mindless. He’s proven himself to be clever, cunning and wily, as per his demonic heritage, but tends to do things a little…. Undemonically.

Oh well.

Aziraphale’s femininity, his softness and joy, his purity isn't an excuse to reduce him down to singularly those things. He is a well rounded character, with so many layers of personality and history and all these things that if you take away these elements it's no longer Aziraphale. It might as well be someone’s random OC. (well technically he’s Neil Gayma- ahem i mean Gaiman’s oc but yk elementary, my dear Watson)

The points people tend to zone in on in their quest to baby their dear sweet Aziraphale who ‘must be protected at all costs’ are usually these:

His innocence, particularly about human culture (though admittedly he knows more about certain things than even crowley does)

His love of soft, sweet things

His emotional dependence on crowley

is reluctance to rebel against authority

His politeness

People forget Aziraphale is completely capable of defending and taking care of himself. He’s not your ‘uwu soft boy’ who needs to be looked after. No, he’s far from that. The whole ‘infantilisation thing’ is also just an excuse to dumb down and baby gender-nonconforming people which in itself is atrocious. As my very good co-writer Kris said, he’s “the angel of the fucking eastern gate for crying out loud.” He wields a flaming sword, can produce strong miracles and can resist temptation. Oh, did I mention he also helped avert a whole FUCKING APOCALYPSE??? AS IN. END OF THE WORLD. FIRE AND BRIMSTONE. OH NO, BOOHOO, WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE TYPE APOCALYPSE?????????? HMM?

HIS KINDNESS IS ALSO WORTH NOTING.

He's also proven himself to be perfectly capable of making his own decisions with his own mind, has proven himself to have a conscience, a strong sense of right and wrong that he formed partly alone, sometimes deviating from heavens set ‘code’ for beliefs and behaviour, has proven himself to be able to deal with the guilt and confusing emotions (to a certain degree) that come alongside with finding yourself deeply involved with someone that you know the very institution that created you despises.

Aziraphale’s sense of fashion and general propriety also furthers the ‘effeminate’ stereotype, making him seem overly vain and prudish, he can be these things, he can sometimes even be petulant, but this further proves his well rounded character as being shown to display a wide range of emotions.

Using direct quotes from the book here are some lines people may use to zone in on Aziraphale’s femininity, and then of course, you find another reason for his infantilisation. (Women are dumbed down and infantilised, OBVIOUSLY.)

Aziraphales effeminate qualities:

“Aziraphale spread his elegantly-manicured hands.”

“Tartan is stylish.”

“Angels had certain moral standards to maintain and so, unlike Crowley, he preferred to buy his clothes rather than wish them into being from raw firmament. And the shirt had been quite expensive.”

“Many people, meeting Aziraphale for the first time, formed three impressions: that he was English, that he was intelligent, and that he was gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide.”

Aziraphale has also been shown to be able to be thoughtless, careless and at times even selfish.

In season one, a dove used for magic dies in his coat pocket due to his thoughtlessness, though he ressurects it soon after its discovery.

I ALSO FUCKING FUCKING FUCKING DESPISE WHEN PEOPLE TWINKIFY AZIRAPHALE.

LIKE.

WHY.

His appearance goes hand in hand with his character. It HIGHLIGHTS elements of his character. He’s gluttonous. A quality we shouldn’t really see in an angel, but regardless we do. Because of this quality, he's plump. And? This doesn't affect his personality or character and is in fact still essential to it.

His vanity affects his appearance greatly. He’s said to have soft hands, ‘neatly manicured’. He typically doesn’t grow facial hair, opting for a clean shaven rather cherubic appearance. We know he greatly prides himself on his clothes, keeping them in pristine condition for hundreds of years, taking painstaking care with them. We see him greatly disappointed in season one when his jacket is shot by a paintball and he’s reluctant to wash or even magically remove it because he’ll ‘still know it’s there’, so in the end Crowley removes it for him, after which Aziraphale seems quite satisfied. He doesn’t mention about ‘knowing it’s still there’. Gay much.

We keep seeing qualities in Aziraphale that aren’t usually typical or desirable in an angel, adding more layers to his character and personality. If he didn’t have these things, he’d be like any other angel we see.

These angels aren’t necessarily cruel, or callous, or mean. They have no concept of such things. They simply follow orders to the extent they do not question or care what the thing is they’re being ordered to do. They don’t have an internal moral battle over whether this is right or wrong. They don’t believe that their actions could possibly be wrong or misguided because they literally take God at his every word. Get an order, complete it. Simple as that.

It’s because of the traits he’s developed by himself over time that make him so likeable. Do you honestly think he’d be popular at all without these things? Then how can he be stripped of these things so frequently people are starting to forget his original character completely? It’s such a shame.

In fact he really isn’t a very good angel at all. He’s far too human. But you see, that’s what makes him so powerful. He does have a conscience. It influences him. He has a sense of right and wrong. He rebels, because he thinks. He thinks and therefore he decides things are wrong. And he decides not to obey those things.

Off topic as I round my points up:

In reference to the appearance quirks of the angels, someone in a reddit post three years ago (user has been deleted) put it wonderfully:

“I believe that the gold make-up and highlights on Uriel and Michael’s face, Sandalphon’s diamond-studded grill with a crucifix, and Gabriel’s violet eyes were design choices to communicate their ethereal natures to the audience.

The way they did this with Aziraphale are his white outfits, gold angel themed jewellery, the cherubic curls, but most of all, his halo. The director put a lot of effort into always backlighting Aziraphale’s blond hair to give the appearance of a halo, as well as placing him in well lit areas. The result is that Aziraphale practically glows in every scene he’s in. Michael Sheen put a ton of light into Aziraphale’s smile as well, in a way probably no other actor could have done.

If we’re going to settle on something as an ethereal quirk for Aziraphale, it’s his radiance.”

Anyways, thank you so much for reading this giant yap, I’m very honoured.

anyways gang this is the other half of this post written by my very good friend, Kris. ( @anth0ny-c0wl3yy )

Enjoy! <3

#aziracrow #aziraphale #azirafell #good omens 2 #ineffable husbands #ineffable fandom #anthony j crowley #neil gaiman #professional yapper

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hajimedics · 9 months

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On Puppets, Agency, and Fate

I’ve been writing this thinkpiece for around a week while looking further into Welcome Home’s symbolism through queer/neurodivergent lenses; strengthening my belief that its themes of freedom and fate cannot be separated from the struggles the characters face as queer/neurodivergent folks.

This writing is going to be a mix of canonical content and my personal interpretation as I make many connections to various readings. Not to mention that the story is very far from done according to the words of the creator himself, so please take the things I say with a grain of salt.

You can view this thinkpiece in Google Docs format here.

CW: mentions/discussions of homophobia, transphobia, ableism, and abuse

I've always adored explorations of humanity and their deteriorating, fluctuating psyche through characters constantly challenged by the narrative (example: Phos from Land of the L*strous, Kris from D*ltarune, Guts from B*rserk, Mae from N*ght in the W*ods) and how they struggle to find their place in the world and freedom. To progress, humanity has always desire freedom. Freedom of expression. Freedom to think. Freedom to honestly, unapologetically be who one wants to be. Humans and humanity are not always synonymous. Welcome Home is a case of this too, its ensemble cast consisting of puppets.

Clown has stated that themes of being queer/neurodivergent are very integral to the story in many aspects, from the characters to the metanarrative. I want to talk about the things I've noticed, the analogies they carry, and how every character's identity contributes to the themes or the story.

First off, the neighborhood.

The neighborhood in general

From the perspective of Welcome Home Puppet Show’s creators, the neighborhood is the idea of a perfect, idyllic community through the lens of cisheteronormavity from the 70s. It is something out of a children’s dream with the colorful imagery, the peaceful yet eventful neighborhood filled with fun activities where everyone in the neighborhood is happy and there are no realistic problems like capitalism, oppression, relationship problems, sickness, and death. Of course, it’s the given obvious because this is a puppet show we’re talking about. A show aimed at kids.

Everyone has a role to play in the neighborhood – the shopkeeper, the mailman, the baker, the bug nerd – they all fit the traditional, stereotypical, cartoonish American mold of what the dream urban life is like in the 70s (and it still is in my small hometown, in Indonesia! We’re quite traditional in a sense) especially with the lack of serious overarching threats of aforementioned human problems.

Welcome Home first aired on 1969 and abruptly ended on 1974. A possible theory is that they cannot keep up with the competitor shows at the time (Sesame Street started on 1969 and The Muppet Show started on 1974, fun fact!), but seeing the amount of merchandise they put out and the way it stood out from various angles, this theory can be thrown out the window. The “about” page for WHPS also describes the show as well acclaimed and doing well during its runtime.

Another one is that the sentience of the puppets (and their desire to have autonomy over their own lives) have possibly impacted the writing of the story, given how they have their own identity outside of the one given by WHPS’s writers to them. Even more when you take into consideration that WHPS is produced during the era when LGBT history in America is at a major turning point. As cited from The Atlantic:

“Those years that followed, the decade of the 1970s, represent a remarkable period of transformation for gays and lesbians, particularly those living in America's coastal cities. At its core, that transformation was about visibility. During those years, there was the first gay television movie (That Certain Summer); a sexy on-screen kiss between two men in Sunday, Blood Sunday; and the release of Cabaret, which has been hailed as the first movie that "really celebrated homosexuality.

There were gains in politics too: Edward Koch, then serving in Congress, "became one of the first elected officials to publicly lobby on behalf of the homosexuals of Greenwich Village," Kaiser writes. Gay Pride Week was established. Perhaps most significantly: In December of 1973, the board of the American Psychiatric Association* voted 13-0 "to remove homosexuality from its list of psychiatric disorders."

The laws that no longer criminalizes or dehumanizes queer folks are being written. Changes are made. Even when LGBT movement was going on a fairly optimistic path, oppression and bigotry towards the community was still rampant. After all, oppressors just can’t change their views in a whim! Their hatred comes from their own thoughts and not because the higher ups told them so.

I won’t turn this into a writing about queer history instead of focusing on Welcome Home. Though, I think it's all worth mentioning given the things I'm going to discuss here and how Clown stated that these themes will become prevalent throughout the story. I decide to write this thinkpiece as an outlet for my thoughts and how I connected many of the story's aspects to the themes of freedom – both from their status as puppets and their identity.

Now that the overview is out of the way, time to bring in the big guns.

The neighborhood and Playfellow Workshop

If we take Playfellow Workshop's involvement in the characters' lives outside of episode recordings, Welcome Home becomes a huge transgender allegory, wrapped in a neat colorful package called "being puppets whose view on the world is much more narrow and simple in which they are controlled by beings above their comprehension".

Playfellow Workshop is the company that creates WHPS and owns its characters. They act as the "parents" to the "children" – WHPS' characters – in this comparison. They house the characters, have them as their responsibilities and assets, and, as any show production goes, they most definitely have staff that takes care of the puppets to see if there are any rips or tears in their bodies, making sure they are fit for the show production. It's just like how parents house their children when they cannot afford housing or live on their own, taking care of (or rather monitor) them, giving them shelter and food.

They are controlled both literally and figuratively by Playfellow Workshop – former because they're hand puppets made for children's entertainment and latter because of their status binding them to their duties. Just like how a parent has authority over their children under the guise of “you live under my roof, you live under my rules.” The rules in questions are the episodes which are produced on story scripts, and the puppets follow said scripts.

Playfellow Workshop is extremely important to the puppets, whether the company is taking a positive role, a neutral role, or an antagonistic role. If the puppets were to break free from their grasp, who would take care of them? Who will place them onto their cases, or fix their rips and tears, or make sure they're in good shape? Playfellow Workshop may have taken a toll on the puppets, but no one can take care of the puppets better than Playfellow Workshop.

You might be wondering, “But Senja, this can be read as a typical controlling parent and clueless children dynamic. Why so specific about it being a trans experience?”

It can be read like the former! I made more connections and thus thought "Hm. This is so true to my trans experience".

There are multiple transgender characters in the story such as Frank, Poppy, and Julie. I was struggling on how to put my thoughts into words about the ways the producers of WHPS (could it be that they thought about the puppets not being cis?) can write in trans characters in WHPS, but I believe Clown himself and the wikipedia page for Gonzo from The Muppets said it best.

A similar case for the puppets can be applied to the trans characters of Welcome Home! Still, the way the puppets present themselves to the audience is also ultimately a decision made by Playfellow Workshop, especially during episode recordings. Clown also said that they won’t reveal much about it since he doesn’t want to give out spoilers. Perhaps regarding to the nature of Playfellow Workshop, too?

The puppets and the scripts can also be a stand-in for how trans folks who still live with authoritative adult figures (especially those that don't accept them or begrudgingly does) are handling autonomy over their own bodies and actions. Although not shown for now, I predict there’s going to be an eventual identity dissonance between who the puppets truly are and who the puppets are according to WHPS’ writers. It reminds me of my experience of when I was much younger, being a closeted trans person who often struggles with disassociation, looking into the mirror and feeling like me and my body are not one. Not myself. It's like they're two separate beings, "me" who is what I truly am, and "my body" that is dictated and dressed up by my parents. As much as I love my body, little me wanted to claw out and break free if it means I can have a semblance of independence over my life. (Things are much better these past few years, though!)

Again, I don’t like accusing Playfellow Workshop of purposefully mistreating the puppets or even taking pleasure in hurting them because we are just getting started; getting to know the personalities and character dynamics between each character. Authoritative parents won't exactly be abusive to their children. Maybe Playfellow Workshop is just doing their job. They take care of the puppets because if they're damaged, the show won't go on. They act indifferent towards the puppets because well, they're just puppets. No personal feelings. That's just how business goes.

We do know that Playfellow Workshop is a big problem regarding the WHPS’ cancellation and the puppets’ worrying fates.

Playfellow Workshop aside, what about the community regarding the puppets?

The neighborhood is a small town consisting of nine residents. Everyone knows each other, and it’s hard to keep secrets from one another with just how tight-knit everyone is; the experience of living in a small town rings true to mine. Almost everyone in my quaint hometown knows many details about each other and their families because our community strongly believes in the importance of bonds and our culture is built on the word "family".

The neighborhood is a family that does not fit the general criteria of what the traditional structure of a family is. There is no concrete "father" or "mother" or "siblings" assigned here – they're also not the typical found family where they meet one another by chance. They are placed inside the set by the creators of the WHPS, lives already decided by its writers (like a traditional family), but they find solace in each other, having their lives intertwined with one another through bonds that they also take part in building, even outside of the show's production (like a found family, as seen in the "answer" pages). They are friends. They are family. Not to mention how the neighborhood is called "Home", a place where a family lives.

But they also cannot get out – as in get out of WHPS instead of just the neighborhood. I will be covering connections to freedom for each character later on (Sally falling from the sky, Poppy as a flightless bird, Howdy as an adult caterpillar) but the way their existence is bound by the colorful stage sets and rainbow props can also be seen as a small analogy that traditional families are expected to always stick with each other no matter how bad things are.

Themes of family aside, I’ll talk about how the so-called “long lost and unknown of number” episodes. WHPS’ episodes start with Wally leading the viewers through the cacophony of the neighborhood. Then other characters join in, with many of them having notable activity segments. The episodes then end with Wally, who has finished journeying with the viewer, when the day has ended. It is most peculiar and harrowing that the agency of the puppets regarding the show is dependent on Wally and the time of the day. Wally plays the central figure of the story, first being placed in the position as the protagonist and most important character in WHPS, then having to act as their savior because he is the only puppet thus far that has contact with the restoration team and you, the viewer. He is akin to a child who has to take the lead as the head of the family even though he is not prepared for it.

Nobody remembers Welcome Home. Nobody remembers who the puppets are. At the time, the puppets only have themselves and each other to rely on for support. Then again, it’s not even clear if they are with each other when they went missing or scattered around.

Now that I've covered the connections I've made regarding the neighborhood as a whole, I’d like to analyze its residences one by one.

Wally Darling

Wally is a very complex character and by far the most – ironically – human out of everyone in the cast. The word "freedom" is written all over him and the word "love" is sewn into every inch of his body.

Wally is shown to show little to no interest in romance or dating. He allowed his friends to get touchy-feely with him (examples being sleeping with Barnaby and getting hugged by Eddie) and doesn’t hesitate to show his affections to them, but it’s been said that he never found them romantic. Wally’s lack of interest in romance gives me the impression that he is in the AroAce spectrum. Clown even mentioned that he doesn’t know what to do if someone confesses their love to him. Wally knows what romance is, he knows what romantic love is, he just doesn't see himself finding a partner anytime soon.

Wally's view on love not only ties into his queerness, but also his neurodiversity – his autism. He is not good at reading social cues or acting "as accordingly" to the situations presented to him. Clown also suggested that Wally cannot process emotions “the way humans do”. They also entertain the idea that Wally is “emotionless”; but I’d rather interpret it as Wally having low empathy and possibly alexithymia, traits shared by many autistic folks (including me).

He expresses his love in a way that accommodates his neurodiversity: real actions.

Wally has been shown from time to time as someone who absolutely, truly loves his friends. The way he loves others cannot be categorized into simple boxes such as “romantic” or “platonic” or “familial”. Wally loves his friends dearly and it is deep and true, simple as that. He also loves you, the viewer, and a hidden page in the Welcome Home page says that "Wally is your best friend". When he was communicating with you, it read to me more like fascination, curiosity, and cries of help instead of macabre obsession as I normally would expect in psychological stories such as Welcome Home.

All of this makes the struggles he faced after WHPS' cancellation and getting separated from his friends more tragic.

Having the world that he knows ripped away from him must've been traumatizing to him. The world that he has always known is gone. The people that he knew and met everyday are scattered everywhere. Although there are many image file names that suggest he has contact with some of his friends, he doesn’t know if everyone is fine. He’s now left to pick up the pieces and try to stick them back together. He has so much to think about, too much to think about, and so he decides to reach out to you.

When you take into consideration that autistic folks often rely on self-made sets of rules, Wally's situation turns from sad to depressing. Autistic folks rely on schedules and routines (also seen through Frank) to give them a sense of control over their lives and help them ground themselves in reality. When Wally's "routine" is ripped away from him, he has to immediately make sense of his situation and make himself accustomed to a life full of uncertainty. His adaptation to change isn't simply about comfort – it's about surviving. His struggles don't only stop there.

Wally's intentions are read wrongly, some people interpreting him as "creepy" or "malicious" instead of just "awkward" or "desperate". Interestingly, this flanderization and misconception of his character comes from the internet's view on him instead of from the audience/staff in-universe. His autistic traits that cannot be deemed "cute" enough (the way he stares, his mannerism, how he talks slowly, or his fixation on the viewer) is considered creepy in a way that appeals to the fandom and thus extrapolated into something more extreme; him being a lovesick obsessive love interest, him being a religious cult leader, or him being the overarching villain of the story. The way that people outside his universe are the ones demonizing him is poetic in a way – reflective of the world that we live in where ableism towards autistics are so embedded even in the way we view tragic characters with low empathy.

Maybe Wally’s mannerisms are written that way because it’s to add more mystery, but knowing that Clown likes to play with secrets and says that neurodivergency plays a huge part in the story makes me think it’s also the other way around. His behavior as an autistic and traumatized character is what makes people believe that he's the villain. It’s unintentional on his part, but people who fail to read between the lines can think otherwise. It reminds me that when autistic folks cannot express emotions "correctly” or act a certain way that is expected regarding certain social situations, neurotypicals immediately jump into bad, unsavory conclusions about their intentions.

In reality, Wally is a desperate person who just wants the viewer to know and realize his presence and (assumedly) save his friends. Sure, he isn't straightforward in his words when communicating to us through hidden audio files, but his intentions are getting more clear to me. He’s thrust into a situation where he now acts as the guardian for his friends instead of Playfellow Workshop. He wants to get in. He's not a saint. He's not a villain. He's a struggler.

Sally Starlet

Sally! Her name is a fun one. She’s a star. She’s also an actress/play writer, related to the phrase “star of the show”.

So far, Clown hasn’t confirmed anything regarding her sexuality or gender identity, but the interactions she has with other characters from various audio files gave me some clues.

Her interactions with male characters are comedic or bossy in a comical sense, definitely stays true to her bombastic personality. She's not particularly fond of having Barnaby or Howdy star in her plays – the former not taking it seriously while the latter advertising his products in the middle of her plays. She also likes bossing Eddie around as shown in Eddie's Big Lift and is entertained by his antics, from him calling her "ma'am" to him not being able to refuse any of her commands.

Sally is noticeably more mellow around women like Julie and Poppy, notably the latter. Despite getting tired of Julie messing up the script of her plays, she isn’t annoyed with her and thinks of her antics as amusing rather than annoying. She is also patient with Poppy, not getting deterred by her always worrying nature and talks to her calmly. She encourages her ideas, help her to be more confident in herself and is very supportive of her! Their personalities bounce off one another really well, and she is just so sweet. Sally also endearingly calls Julie “Juliet” and Poppy “dear” and “darling”, something she doesn’t do with the male characters.

She gives me the impression of being a lesbian. She reminds me a lot of Lady D from RE VIII who’s a canon lesbian, calls Evan “manthing”, and speaks/acts in the same sophisticated manner as Sally, haha!

Besides her queerness, I found an interesting connection to freedom from her backstory. Sally was originally a star from space that falls to earth in order to pursue her interest in acting. She fell from a place that is vast and endless to a place surrounded by trees and predetermined fates. Also her working with play scripts… the show running on episode scripts… hm…

A falling star has a close definition to a meteor, burning brightly due to the pressure but then losing its spark and mass during its journey, ultimately burning into nothingness. Possibly just a coincidence, but the symbolism when related to Sally is sad.

Frank Frankly

Amidst the cheerful technicolor citizens of the neighborhood, Frank stood out the most by having grey skin and a constant frown on his face. He’s the bookworm character archetype of the show and is described as “arguably the smartest person in the neighborhood”. He’s also one of the handful characters that doesn’t have any information regarding where he was before he came to the neighborhood.

Frank is autistic. As I’ve mentioned in Wally’s part of this thinkpiece, Frank relies on routines and familiarity to give himself a sense of agency and control over his life. He likes arranging things in the order they’re supposed to go, he has a keen eye on organization and structure, and he wants things to be done right in his own ways. “This is the way things should be done, not that way.”

There are drawings Clown made depicting him stimming and infodumping about his special interests, those being entomology and insects.

Frank and Julie are paired together in many Welcome Home-related content. They are best friends who does things together and spends time playing together. They perform a comedy duo; Frank is the "straight man" to Julie's "funny man". His friendship with Julie is very important to both the show and the overarching story. They are something more than simple friends, something less than lovers, and something just right and deep for the both of them. Not that Playfellow Workshop thinks much about that.

The animation cells for “Julie-rella” has given me a very thin theory that themes of cisheteronormavity will be at play as the story goes. Frank is the prince charming, while Julie is Cinderella – fated to be together when the story ends. Well, maybe it’s just Sally, being her over-the-top self and her reenacting a classic fairy tale with her personal spin, but I just can’t help but think harder about the implications of it. Frank is not a cishet man, and Julie is not a cishet woman. I have talked about it in this short writing I made about Eddie and Frank.

Frank is canonically nonbinary and gay. He and Eddie are each other's love interests, something that isn’t outright shown. One can argue that they don’t exactly “act” like a typical couple from what we’ve seen, and their interactions in WHPS’ audios and merchandises gives off the feeling that they’re amicable at best (referring to the link I embedded above). They are noticeably closer in the “answer” page, though. It is not certain that their relationship at the time WHPS was still going and before Welcome Home Restoration Project’s involvement was already established or they’re just starting to get to know each other – though many audios in the WHRP website leans more towards the latter. Either way, it reminds me of the way some queer people have to hide their relationships in public to avoid getting hate or persecution.

You know that one art of a terrified Frank with a bright red rectangle and many appendages surrounding him that can be found in the staff-only page? Regarding his status as the bookworm character, I have a feeling that the phrase “ignorance is bliss” will come at play here, subverting his character.

Poppy Partridge

This sweet, poor bird who is always shaken by everything around her. Poppy grew up in a nest with her family, though growing up to become the biggest bird out of everyone, eventually leaving the nest and moving into the neighborhood, living inside a barn and rarely leaving it because of her anxiety. Poppy is described to not be based on just one bird, as Clown said. She is said to be a mix of “flamingo from father’s side, hen from mother’s side”, fitting with how unique everyone is in the neighborhood.

It is heartwarming that she is surrounded by people who are understanding of her anxiety. Nobody makes fun of her fretfulness or forces her to be “more social”, Howdy brings her groceries to her barn, and she even has her own baking business! She’s not the greatest at the things she likes doing, but it’s nice to see that she founds joy in them.

Poppy is canonically a trans lesbian. She’s very close with Sally, whose personality is a stark contrast to hers. Poppy feels like she can trust Sally with handling the jobs she’s supposed to do and Sally encourages her to be more true to herself. Poppy feels at ease whenever she’s around Sally and even seems to act more flustered around her – a possible love interest between the two. It’s also cute that Sally likes to drag Poppy in her antics, with the latter not being too bothered about it. They trust each other very much. Also their dynamic is also just really good, y’know?

Connected to themes of freedom in this story, Poppy is a flightless bird, yet another symbol of her state of freedom as a puppet to Playfellow Workshop. Many birds have the ability to spread their wings and fly away to the places that they desire while Poppy cannot. Like the rest of the cast, her world is limited by the trees around the neighborhood. She also left her nest not because she has big dreams like Sally or ambitions like Howdy, but because of the circumstances she cannot control on her own.

As I’ve mentioned earlier, Poppy grew up to be the biggest bird out of her family and it became the reason why she left for the neighborhood. And when she got there, she prefers being inside her own barn instead of going around and socializing with everyone.

Howdy Pillar

Ohhh my god. This guy. He originates from an apple as a teensy little caterpillar, then leaving the place where he was raised in because of his dreams (similar to Sally, different to Poppy). He is shown to be very proud and confident in himself, having a clear ambition on opening his very own shop and takes great pride in what he does. He’s a great talker and can easily convince even the proudest people in the neighborhood to purchase his wares, and his character gives me the impression that he prefers being around people that understands his dreams.

I cannot find any notable queer readings regarding Howdy, but his interactions with Barnaby gives me the impression that they’re close to one another. Howdy considers Barnaby his favorite customer, and is seemingly happy that Barnaby is willing to listen to him ramble about his family gossips.

I do find connections between his physical appearance and the story’s themes of freedom.

In a caterpillar’s life, when they’re about to reach their adult stage and move on from their juvenile stage, they turn into butterflies. Not the case with Howdy. He’s an adult caterpillar whose family are a bunch of butterflies. Like Poppy, whose symbolism of lack of freedom is the same as Howdy's, he cannot turn into a butterfly and fly away from the grasp of Playfellow Workshop – outside the neighborhood, outside the town surrounded by colorful trees and dictated by scripts.

Unlike Poppy however, Clown mentioned that Howdy has the possibility of turning into a butterfly someday. Poppy is also an adult bird, the last stage of her life cycle, while Howdy is an adult caterpillar, the beginning stage of his life cycle. A possible foreshadowing for his fate regarding freedom later on…? Or maybe just a fun little trivia.

Barnaby B. Beagle

Barnaby, the comedic relief who's the most emotionally intelligent. The jokester who knows that something is amiss when the situation calls for it, the comedian who can be honest and straightforward in what he finds amusing and not, the humorist whose appearance is always met with cheers, claps, and boos, as if he’s the main character of a very long winded sitcom.

As far as I’ve noticed, there aren’t as many connections to themes of freedom regarding Barnaby as there is on other characters. Though I can say that Barnaby can stand his ground more than Eddie, another character who is usually put in situations where he gets the boot to the head and usually lets people do as they please. I cannot put these into concrete words, but Barnaby has an air of professionalism to him despite his character archetype being the comedic relief.

Barnaby is close with Howdy (see the writing regarding his character above!), sharing jokes and puns with him. Barnaby is also considered Howdy’s greatest customer, always making the latter crack up and their personalities bounce off one another really well.

Another resident that Barnaby shares a close bond with – closer even – is Wally. Barnaby is very close to Wally. They are best friends, and many art for Welcome Home depicts them together a lot of the time. Barnaby includes Wally in the things he does like getting hotdogs together or sharing jokes. Besides Home, Barnaby knows Wally the best. He is also quick to notice changes in Wally’s demeanor, getting concerned about him when he doesn’t react to his words the way Wally always does in the last “answer audio”.

Clown also said that in any universe, Barnaby and Wally will always become best friends. They are the definition of soulmates. Platonic, romantic, whatever you call it – but like I’ve said earlier, the puppets’ view on love are not as complicated as humans’, and I can say that they love each other deeply, simple and true as that. Like someone once said, they’ll find each other in any universe. This makes me fear for their relationship even more, given that Wally and Barnaby are most likely not near each other when WHPS ended.

Eddie Dear

Eddie! Neighborhood’s creative, kind, and hardworking mailman. He has a good eye on arts and craft, and is more than delighted to lead the viewers of the show with the things he wants to create.

As Clown have stated, Eddie is a gay man. I’ve covered most of the things I’ve said regarding their (blooming) romantic relationship in Frank’s section of this thinkpiece however, so I implore you to go back there if you don’t want me to rewrite the whole thing all over again here, haha!

A recurring trope with him is that despite his adherence to work ethics and schedules, Eddie tends to forget a lot of things. The Welcome Home website says that he hails from a town far away from the neighborhood, but he always gets the name of the town wrong and oftentimes mentions names of places that doesn’t exist. He talks to inanimate objects to aid his forgetfulness (also for endearing character traits) and Frank once suggested that he ties strings to the things he doesn’t want to forget, but this doesn’t always work. Eddie also doesn’t remember where he came from and his character profile says that he and the post office appeared out of nowhere one day.

Eddie is also accident-prone, always getting himself into situations (a bug landing on his paper chains, getting chased by Barnaby) and is mainly depicted as the unwilling comedian. Many of his character aspects are depicted as a source of comedy, even by himself. Eddie also has tendencies of prioritizing what others want before himself because of his even-tempered nature. So far, Eddie doesn’t express any serious frustration over this, but with the themes of agency recurring in this story, I’m afraid that it’s going to be a matter of time before we see Eddie express discomfort over this.

Throwback to what I have said: Frank is a smart person who constantly searches for logical answers to things, while Eddie is more laid back and isn’t very focused on finding the right answer and just wanting problems to be handled. This contrast on their personalities and how their backstories are foils of each other (Frank coming from unclear origins, Eddie not knowing the name of the place he’s from) make me think: Is ignorance bliss to Eddie?

Julie Joyful

The sunshine of the neighborhood! The bringer of rainbows in Welcome Home! Julie stays true to her surname, always depicted with a bright smile on her face. She is the one that can turn Frank’s frown upside down. She is the one that can bring a tinge of comedy in Sally’s tragic dramas.

Julie joins the side of the neighborhood that has clear origins. She once lived inside a cave with her siblings, but ultimately leaves under her own volition to find life for herself. Regardless, she is a character that is known for her constant interactions with other neighbors, notably Frank, her best friend.

Her friendship with Frank is extremely special for both of them – if you want to read about it, you should go to Frank's section of this thinkpiece as I've covered most of my thoughts about Frank and Julie's friendship there, but I want to add a few more things.

She is the "funny man" to Frank's "straight man", forming the neighborhood’s comedic duo. She drags him into her shenanigans, like the time they played “Business Woman In The Big City”. They’re also quite competitive when participating in the games that Julie conducts. She brings out the best in Frank, always making sure he feels included and happy in any activity they do. Julie is the “spontaneity” to Frank’s “routinity”. Julie is the “fun” to Frank’s “frown”. They’re inseparable from one another, like Barnaby with Wally.

As stated by Clown, Julie is genderfluid and bisexual. She doesn’t have a love interest set for her, but what’s important is that her character is emphasized with her connections with others. When Frank couldn’t play with her, she plays with Sally and enjoys spending time with her and even stars as the main character in many of the latter’s plays. There are lots of love inside her, after all! She is also said to be quite touchy with her friends, often hugging them and encouraging them to go through with the things they want to do. It doesn’t always have to be seen as “romantic”, like I’ve said before.

Onto her status as a puppet for Playfellow Workshop. Something funny is that Julie has a tendency to go off-script as shown from her interaction with Sally while practicing for a play. She has issues getting into the mood of her plays, making scenes that are supposed to be emotional… comedical, instead.

Is this supposed to symbolize something further? Is this habit of hers pointing towards how she’s going to express her unwillingness to be a mere cog in the big machine? The puppets are very much sentient, but I am not sure if they are aware if their actions in the WHPS episodes are controlled by the script. Time will tell, and perhaps, Julie too.

Home

Finally, we get to the last but one of the most important characters in this story – Home.

Home is the ninth residence of the neighborhood, though it’s not a puppet but a stationery character. It houses Wally, the main character of this story. Unlike the rest of the cast, Home talks in onomatopeias, like creaking its doors or opening its windows to produce sound as means of communication. Its eyes are very expressive and is constantly moving. Unlike other houses in the neighborhood, they’re very expressive.

Their importance isn’t only limited to being Wally’s house or being the only character in Welcome Home that cannot walk or talk.

The mobile characters of Welcome Home never expressed annoyance for Home’s non-verbal trait and instead put in effort to understand them and include them in their activities. They accommodate for Home, making sure they feel comfortable, wanted, and not left out. Home feels… at home around them.

Wally writes for Home to help it communicate and makes his canvas face Home whenever he’s painting, Julie teaches it how to hula hoop, Eddie makes small talk with Home, Barnaby makes jokes and laughs with Home, Frank tries to include home in games of chess, and so on! Home isn’t just a building like the rest of the cast’s houses. They are part of the family. It makes me so happy to see that their existence isn’t considered a burden or an annoyance or have their traits be seen as sources of comedy. It hits close to home for me as a physically disabled person.

Regarding the overarching story outside of WHPS, Home is a character that plays a significant part in Wally's journey. Wally loves Home dearly. He takes care of Home and makes sure he is in great condition. He is the caretaker for Home and becomes its communicator when the situation calls for it. In return, Home makes sure Wally is safe and sound inside their cavity and expresses their love for Wally through communication from creaking noises and even lightly squishing him between their door and door frame. Home is also quick to notice changes in Wally’s behavior and shows their concern for him, signifying just how deep their relationship is.

As I’ve mentioned many times before, their closeness cannot be boxed into the usual types of love humans are used to. You just know they are extremely linked to one another and that their relationship is not only important in WHPS, but also the story as a whole.

Home and Wally are inseparable from one another. They have their separate personalities and are distinguishable from one another, but ultimately they will always be one. Home is Wally’s fortress. Home is the shield to Wally’s sword. Home is the pericardium to Wally’s heart. After all, “Home is where the heart is”, right?

Afterwords

Yay! Whew! Congrats on making it to the afterwords! I’ve spent more than a week writing this whole thing and having my friend @rxveriecaeli proofread this thinkpiece (Morfe if you’re reading this I love you bestie). Huge HUGE shoutout to them because I’d be lost without them giving the finishing touches!

I know, some people will say that I’m reaching or thinking too much about this story, but hey! That’s why it’s called a thinkpiece and not a theory or concrete proof of X or Y. I cannot say that I’m 100% sure about where the story is heading or what Clown has in mind for certain characters, but I just want to think and love making connections and my brain just keeps producing questions after questions after questions. Are the feelings they have with each other theirs and not the byproduct of the script commanding them? I believe so.

What if Poppy is a flightless bird because she's based on Big Bird and not because it's an analogy for her not being able to fly freely away? What if Howdy is an adult caterpillar because he just IS and not because it's an analogy for not being able to turn into a butterfly that can fly? These options might be so, but even if Clown someday confirm that their design choices are simply because they're inspired by other puppet characters, I'm just happy that I manage to find symbolism that I can connect to their character designs.

I think it's too early to assume that the puppets are surely seeking freedom. At most, they just want to be saved from the tragic states they’re in, and Wally is on the lead. I mean, the show's canceled and they no longer live by following the scripts made for them! We don't even know the true fates of them aside from being nearly forgotten to time. And even if the puppets do achieve freedom, what will be of them? The producers aren't around anymore, the employees that treat them as toys but also take care of them aren't there anymore, and they have to fend for themselves in the big world.

I am not a native English speaker and I cannot put some of my thoughts into words both because of my language barrier and my ADHD. I do not intend on expressing malicious or harmful subtext through this writing, but do tell me if I had worded anything incorrectly and I will fix it. I would love to hear your thoughts about this thinkpiece too, so don’t hesitate to leave comments or tags in the reblogs (though please be patient with me!). Not that I will tolerate hateful or bigoted comments, however!

Please do not start accusing me of spreading the rhetoric that “being queer/neurodivergent is painful and constantly suffering and if you don’t suffer you are not part of those groups”! Being queer is fun and liberating. Being neurodivergent or disabled is something to take pride in. I’m proud of who I am and I encourage others to be so too. The experiences of queer/neurodivergent won’t always be easy, though, and I made this analysis and the correlating connections based on my own experience as a queer, autistic, and physically disabled person.

That being said, thank you for reading!

Fun little trivia! The characters' favorite colors form a rainbow when put in respective order, just like the colors of the original pride flag :]

#LONG POST AHEAD!!!#welcome home #welcome home puppet show #wally darling #sally starlet #frank frankly #poppy partridge #howdy pillar #barnaby b beagle #eddie dear #julie joyful #home #senja writing

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evendumbo · 1 year

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And here come the long articles saying Ted Lasso is declining. I guess I don’t see how people watch, much less critique, the show without rewatching it, or at least watching it in concert with tumblr gifs. Trent’s description of Ted’s coaching style — “thousands of imperceptible moments leading to an inevitable conclusion” — also describes the writers’ storytelling style. No matter how many times I’ve rewatched the show, tumblr fans still have gifs and stills of things that I totally missed.

I read a funny tweet that was so done with tedbecca shippers because we’re like, “a pencil was on Rebecca’s desk and the same pencil was next to Ted…A HA!” It’s funny because it’s true. I can see if a person is like, look, I don’t have time to tumble on tumblr, this show about a game needs to stop being like a game and just say what’s on its mind. Fair enough. A person can critique the “total football” approach to storytelling if they’re not feeling it.

But when they’re like, Colin is randomly gay, for example, I’m like, that’s irritatingly heteronormative but it’s also incorrect. Colin’s extremely brief comment in season one about grindr was a little rainbow flag waving hello. Subtle, maybe imperceptible to some, but present. I'm very proud that I actually caught this one when I watched it the first time! However tumblr made damn sure I never forgot it so three years later I can be like, oh hey fam, Colin has a boyfriend, cool. His reveal didn’t feel random, it felt inevitable. The more obvious truth about Colin in season 1 is that he was a bully. The possible reason why he was bullying Nate is very subtle but it is there. The TL narrative style was able to make the point that no one, including many viewers, noticed what was going on. The narrative lesson is that we don’t pay enough attention to people around us in real life. Ted Lasso asks us to please pay more attention. Gifs help us to slow things down so we can see what’s going on. Maybe we should slow things down. Through both the story and storytelling style, TL (and fans) helps us honor the fact of the imperceptible and suggests ways to bring the world into a little more focus.

Anyway, I do wish critics would take the narrative method seriously before they write think pieces alleging that Ted Lasso has declined. Unless critics see this season as Act 3 of a three-act story built on a subtle but coherent storytelling approach, then I don’t see how, in good faith, they can evaluate if the show has declined, inclined, or reclined. They’re just…watching a different show.

TL;DR: tumblr > twitter

#ted lasso #declined has lost all meaning declined declined #uninvited semiotics #doing the most #get a life #tv is life #🤷🏾‍♀️

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munsonsfairy · 11 months

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psa: all blogs require an age in your bio/pinned post and must be 18+. no exceptions. please respect their boundaries. 🍓

i wanted to show love to every blog and fic that has made me feel all the emotions! i will be adding to this as i go!

reading blog: @stardustmunson 🍭

mood board blogs: 🍒🩷🌟

@inkluvs

@berryfairy444

@forevermoreharrington

@ghostlyfleur

@plsngbt

@mirrorbaaall

@ramsywasalittlelamb : age regression

blurb writers: 🥝🩵💐

@berryfairy444

@ghostlyfleur

@solarluvs

@inkluvs

@bpdtistic

@screammunson

@biancadjarin

@jadeylovesmarvelxo

@mirrorbaaall

@byersdiary

@cherrychilli : steve harrington

@porchlightfairy : poc writer

@angelbaby-fics : age regression

@queenimmadolla : writes for poc also!!

@harrywavycurly : she has many series but i love them all so i can’t pick!!

series/one shot writers: 🌞💚🪼

— the yes policy @pinkrelish

— strange lights (twilight au) & on the outside @lesservillain

— cowboy eddie munson @munsonology

— eddie from chili’s @whoahoney

— love you from afar @silent-stories

— invisible string & it’s golden, like daylight @lilacletter

— steddie x babysitter @imjuststeddietrashatthispoint

— trapped under ice @munson-blurbs

— you give love a bad name @cinemamunson

— old heart (tlou au) @myosotisa

— good neighbors & we’re a family @justmeinadaze

— vampire eddie & witch reader @storiesbyrhi

— something like this & flip a switch @taintedcigs

— good girl & as you wish @corroded-hellfire

— beth @farfromharry

— the twins: eddie munson x single mom reader @sunflowergirl522

— truck driver eddie munson x waitress reader @hellfirehottie420

— the king of ring @rustedhearts

— dead channels @talesofesther

— as if @eddiessluttywaist

— the treehouse & unraveling & baby honey @eveatethefruit

@oneforthemunny : eddie munson au

mafia

cowboy

older

modern steddie

step brother eddie munson

link @resident-gay-bitch

link @mypoisonedvine

alpha eddie munson

link @mysticmunson

link @cha0ticspacebi

link @mypoisonedvine

#fairy’s rec list #eddie munson #steddie #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson angst #eddie munson stranger things #steddie x reader #steddie x fem!reader #steddie fluff #steddie angst #steddie stranger things #eddie munson moodboard #steve harrington moodboard #steddie moodboard

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ifiwere-idbe · 1 year

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Yaz’s Representation Was Kind of Amazing

There’s a common assumption among non-queer folks that I’ve seen that queer people should essentially always know what their sexuality is/if you were ever unsure, your identity is somehow a little less valid. But that’s just not true. Whether you realized you were gay when you were 9 or 90, your identity is valid.

The debate over whether Yaz was always written to be queer is something only the writers can answer. But is it an answer we really need? What we know is that Yaz was incredibly focused on tackling sexist and racist barriers in her career - a career she pursued to help others fight back against their bullies. Romance was not a priority for her (something refreshing to see), so I would guess she also wasn’t fretting too much about WHO she wanted to be romantic with.

Now, writers can sometimes fall into a trap when they write women who aren’t focused on love: they write cold, closed off women who refuse to be emotionally vulnerable. This is my favorite thing about Yaz - she LOVED. She was vulnerable, and compassionate, and affectionate. It was just that romance was never forced on her.

A sexuality was never forced on her either.

Some folks interpreted her mom asking if Yaz and Thirteen were seeing each other as a nosey parent, or a joke from the writers. I heard that line - followed later by Yaz’s mom asking the same thing about Ryan - as a beautiful normalization of NOT assuming heterosexuality. Each time her mom asked, Yaz responded with “We’re friends,” not “I’m not [gay, straight, whatever]!” This not only left her sexuality open for exploration, it also drove home the point that this wasn’t something she was caring about.

Throughout series 11 and 12 (some of 13) Mandip captured all of this beautifully. From my deep-dives, there seems to be confusion about when Thasmin was planned/when Mandip knew. I kind of like that. And I kind of like that it didn’t seem to matter to Mandip. She just played to that genuine love. So when her admission with Dan finally came, I thought it was a lovely moment of acknowledgement. Some people don’t know, or don’t think about romance/sexuality/gender until it comes along. And that moment can be shocking, and scary, and absolutely beautiful. I thought Mandip depicted that really well.

All this to say, I’m not mad that Yaz wasn’t rocking a lesbian pride shirt from day one. I’m not frustrated that Mandip says she didn’t really know how Yaz felt until she read it on the page. I love that Yaz loved Thirteen. I love that Yaz never had to defend her sexuality to anyone, including her mom. I love that Yaz was just - Yaz... focused, affectionate, open-hearted, WOC(!!!!) Yaz.

I say all of this as a lesbian hungry for good representation.

I’m totally open to dialogue on this perspective so long as it is kind and respectful.

#yaz khan #yasmin khan #doctor who #13th doctor #thasmin #queer #lgbtq #representation #brain dump #mandip gill #jodie whittaker

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miss-madness67 · 6 months

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Cool Cosplay (Dean W.)

Prompt: You go to a Supernatural convention and -unknowingly- meet Dean.

The Supernatural convention is finally here. You’ve been waiting for months for the gathering, supposedly, Carver Edlund, the writer, was going to make an appearance late in the afternoon. The Supernatural books belong to a small niche because not everyone likes them. So when you started reading, you had trouble finding people involved in the fandom as much as you. Meeting new fans became a slow process of writing on the internet forum. That’s how you met one of your best friends, Celeste Middleton.

She seemed very into the books, just like you, although her fanaticism was different because she didn't partake in the discussion of the characters or the narrative, she was mostly interested in learning about the monsters and the ways to kill them. You, on the other hand, couldn't shut up about your love for Castiel, and how much of an underrated character he was. But because you were also interested in the monsters, you became quick friends and met up a couple of times. It was she that told you about the supernatural convention. You also agreed to go together and dress up as your favorite characters. You, obviously put on a trench coat, and she decided to be Charlie, the redheaded tech friend of the hunter brothers.

“Even if you’re a redhead, I still don’t think you quite fit as Charlie.” You tell her while walking through the stands.

One of the sellers has a collection of Castiel stickers that you stop to watch. The best thing about this type of convention is that everyone in the fandom can bring their own things to share and sell. If the fandom were bigger, that probably wouldn't be allowed.

“Really?” Celeste asks with incredulity. “I’m a hacker; she’s a hacker, I’m gay; she’s gay, I’m a badass; she’s a badass. What’s more to compare?”

“Celeste, there’s more to Charlie than being gay, you know?”

She chuckles, “oh, believe me, I know.” She murmurs.

You’re about to answer something when one of the nearby stands calls your attention. It’s one of the writers whose fanfic you’ve been reading. “C’mon, let’s go over here.” She follows without hesitation.

While you decide to buy one of the copies of your favorite fanfiction, your friend’s checking something on her phone. “So, you remember the friends I told you about?”

You think briefly, “the ones that were curious about the convention and wanted to come?”

“The same ones!” She announces, “they just got here, wait for me while I go get them?”

You're way too interested in your new acquisition, to really pay attention to her words. “Yeah, yeah, sure.”

Celeste told you about some friends that she had that weren't supernatural fans, but wanted to get to know the fandom and the surrounding fame. You're not sure whether there's anything interesting to learn considering they haven’t read the books, but you’ll be the best tour guide you can be. Your friend comes back shortly after, followed by two tall guys that are dressed up in a way that reminds you, probably too much, of certain characters in the books.

“I thought you said they weren’t fans?” You ask Celeste.

The one dressed up as Dean chuckles, “oh, we’re not, sweetheart, believe me.”

You look at him with incredulity, “well, then, why are you dressed up as Dean, and your friend here as Sam?”

The Sam cosplayer shifts uncomfortably under your scrutiny. The Dean cosplayer, though, is quick to answer, “because we are Sam and Dean.”

The encounter is proving to be way too funny. You look back at Celeste, “and they role-play too?” In spite of being dressed as Castiel, you’ve never been too much of a role player, so it amuses you that some non-fans are very into the characters. Even fake Dean’s voice is how you imagined real Dean’s voice would be like.

Sam throws an annoyed glance at Dean . “What my ah- friend here is trying to say is that our names are actually Sam and Dean, and Cha- Celeste convinced us to come as the characters in the books.” There’s something in his words that doesn’t quite persuade you.

“I see,” you murmur, “you did a great job!” Your wary demeanor instantly shifts to a friendly one. “You really do look like Sam and Dean.”

Celeste chooses that moment to finally speak, “and I don’t look like Charlie?!” There’s incredulity and exasperation in her tone.

Because you already had this discussion multiple times in the day, you decide to ignore her. Looking at Dean, you add, “though you need the Samulet, did you forget to put it on?” You pull something out of your trench coat pocket, “here, I’ll give you mine.” Technically, your costume didn’t need the jewelry, but you decided to keep it for some reason.

You extend your arm and give it to Dean, who takes it reluctantly. “Oh, thanks? But I’m good.” He tries to give it back.

“No, I insist. If you’re going to do cosplay, you’re going to do it good.” At your insistence, he takes it.

Celeste smiles mischievously. “Yes, my friend right here is a very good fan of Supernatural.” She looks up and down your outfit, “guess who her favorite character is.”

You don’t even let the boys speak, “obviously Castiel.” As if there’s any contest with the rest of the characters. “After all, he’s an Angel of the Lord .” Your imitation is too bad that Sam and Charlie can’t avoid laughing.

Dean chuckles, “so, you’re not a Dean girl?” You’re not sure, but there’s something in his voice akin to disappointment.

“Dean is ok, but there’s no one like Castiel.” You clear your throat, trying to contain the excitement when speaking of your favorite character. “I mean, he’s sweet, powerful, understanding…”

“Cas? Really?” Now he’s almost indignant, “and Dean is definitely more than ok.”

Now, normally, you’re a pacifist, but you’re not going to let this rando talk bad about your fictional love. “How would you know? Considering that you’ve never read the books before.”

There’s a hint of condescension in his voice, “oh, honey, I know, I-.”

But before he can say anything else, Sam interrupts. “So! Why don’t you girls show us around?”

Dean seems to be completely annoyed by being interrupted, but he doesn’t complain when his friend Sam tugs him forward. At this point, a lot more people have arrived at the convention. The fans of Supernatural are not enough to be a crowd, but not as small as to allow you to recognize everyone. Your group is not the only one dressed up as the characters. You mostly see Deans and Sams lingering around, but there are also some Bobbys, Johns, Castiels, and even famous monsters like the walling woman. Sam and Dean (the ones in your group) take everything in with open eyes, and, sometimes, uncomfortable gazes. You and Celeste show them to the different stands, there are merchandise, game tables, fanfiction tables, fanart artists, and discussion tables. There’s anything and everything to make the Supernatural experience enjoyable. You can even see a fake tattoo artist draw a devil’s trap, in, well, a fake Meg.

“Oh, and the author, Carver Edlund, is supposed to be giving a conference and signing,” you finish your tour.

This last bit is what interests the boys the most, “really? Do you know when?”

“Uh, I don’t know. I suppose in a few hours,” you answer Sam’s question.

If he is disappointed by your lack of knowledge, you don't notice because you're too busy now looking at a stand full of drawing of different supernatural characters. It doesn't take you long to buy what you want, though, by the time you turn around, you see that all of your companions are chatting in whispers a few steps away. They seem to be in a heated discussion, so you don't dare to go near them. Whatever they're talking about must be private. Nevertheless, on some occasions, you catch them looking your way and then continue speaking. Are they talking about you? Out of the blue, Dean and Sam start a game of rock, paper, and scissors. Dean wins and cheers in place as if it’s something that doesn’t happen often. Before you can even try to make up your mind to approach them, Celeste and Sam walk away, while Dean returns to you.

“What happened? Where are Celeste and Sam going?”

Dean answers without hesitation, “they're taking care of something, don't worry. Why don’t you keep showing me around? They'll be back in a bit.”

Despite the fact that you are still worried about the sudden turn of events, you decide to listen to him and venture to some of the stands with Dean's company. He seems to be very on high alert because he keeps looking everywhere like something is about to jump from the crowd. He also looks at the “monsters” with a particularly nasty frown on his face that earns him some compliments for being very ‘Dean’. The demeanor, though, appears too real to be fake. You try and encourage him to buy a few things while he waits you wait for your friends to return, but he really is not interested. You even suggest playing a game, but he refuses. The only thing he seems to be remotely curious about is a particular stand on Supernatural creatures the brothers have defeated. You try to be a good guide by letting him in on your knowledge about the supernatural.

“And you learned all of this from the books?” He is really surprised by all the things that you've told him, even to the point of slightly forgetting about keeping his guard up.

“Some, other things I’ve researched on my own or Celeste told me.” Your hand caresses one of the books’ covers with a vampire. “I know it’s not real, but it’s fascinating to know.”

Then you dive into a full-on explanation about the different, fictional, possible ways one can get rid of certain monsters that you come up with. Things that supernatural books and your research don’t quite show that you think could work as an alternative to certain methods. You jokingly tell him that sometimes your mind wanders into the possibility of the supernatural being real, and you cannot help to think about it. Dean seems deeply impressed, and then something else.

“You know? You’d make one hell of a hunter,” he nods approvingly.

“IF hunters were real,” you respond instantly.

He chuckles, “sure, sure, if they were.”

You continue through the convention for half an hour, this time he seems to be more taken by you than before, because, despite that he’s still on guard, he makes conversation about yourself and your interest in The Supernatural books. He even tries to convince you that the best character is not Cas, but Dean. You believe that he is biased, considering that his name is the same one as the one from the character. Sometimes you notice the way his eyes look at your figure, and you cannot find it in yourself to feel angry. More like there's a small part of you that cannot help to gloat at the feeling of a handsome man finding you attractive. Though, you believe it must have to do also with the fact that, for some reason, besides his name, your mind cannot seem to stop pairing him up with Dean from the books. You’ve never been a Dean girl, but you’re starting to think you could maybe make an exception. He has something that draws you in. Whatever it is, you’re a goner because, by the time Celeste and Sam come back, they find you entangled in each other’s arms, kissing near the restroom’s door.

A/N: For plot’s sake, let’s imagine Charlie is in the Supernatural books. Also, if reader is dressed up as Castiel, does this count as Destiel?

#supernatural #fanfiction #supernatural fanfiction #spn #dean winchester #spn fanfic #dean winchester x reader #spn x reader #destiel #destiel x reader #dean winchester fanfiction #dean #supernatural convention #cosplay #sam winchester #charlie bradbury #dean girl #dean winchester x you

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kaiandels · 9 months

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Two Hearts pt. 3: Ellie Williams x Reader (Ellie’s POV)

🐚

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - part 5 - part 6

writers note: hi! so i wanted to explain why the “cover pictures” are different from the last. the pictures that are plastered on here resembles the reader’s and Ellie’s thoughts. So since this is Ellie’s POV, it is self-explanatory why there are 2 different girls in these pictures. (the reader is the one on the left). So Ellie’s POV happened at the same time when you were ranting to Dina. Hope you enjoy! (I hope y’all still like it. I wasn’t proud of this as much)

warnings: a little kissies shared between the girl and Ellie (SORRY!!!) , mild swearing (that will never go away especially since this is Ellie’s POV.) , It’s not that sad anymore! , Involves text messages with Dina, Jesse, and the reader.

Not Proofread :// I give up

‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ - - ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ - - ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿

‘Fuck, why did I leave her like that?’ Ellie thought to herself as she stood in front of her date’s door. Debating whether she should try to fix this or just run back home and be with you. ‘Fuck, fuck, fuck’ Ellie’s thoughts cluttered her head as she began to knock on the door. “Cat?” Ellie screamed wanting to just get it over with. 5 seconds in, there were no answers which relieved her for a second. Because it means that she has an excuse to hang out with you instead. Well, that is… until the door opened. “Hey Els…” Cat greeted. Her voice seeming very glum. “Hey…” Ellie said softly as she looked up and down at Cat’s figure. “May I come in?” Cat smiled and nodded as she stepped aside to let Ellie in.

“Look… Cat, I’m really fuckin’ sorry. I should’ve been focusing on you that night. You were so breathtaking and you didn’t deserve any of that.” Ellie breathed glancing at Cat’s small figure as she had her back turned to close the door. “It’s fine, Els. She was your bestfriend, I overreacted. I shouldn’t have and i’m sorry.” Cat smiled as she finally faced Ellie. “But… you can make it up to me?” Cat’s tone sounding mischievous. “Yeah? Can I get a kiss?” Ellie said smirking, getting cockier. Ellie must’ve been sick if she had gone through the day without being cocky.

“I don’t know… can you?” Cat giggled as Ellie creeped closer and closer to her face, their lips crashing softly against eachother. “So fucking cute…” Ellie mumbled against Cat’s lips as she grabbed on to her waist carrying Cat to her couch. “Ellieeee..” Cat whined as her legs wrapped around Ellie’s hips, smothering her face with soft pecks. “Let’s talk first, please?” Cat looked at Ellie with her doe-eyes as Ellie put her down on the couch. “We’re already talking…” Ellie muttered as she started giving Cat kisses on the neck. “Ellieee..” Cat moaned gently pushing Ellie away, earning a confused look from Ellie’s face. “What’s wrong?” Ellie asked tilting her head to the side.

“It’s just…” Cat paused as she starts playing with the collar of Ellie’s flannel. “I wanna know why THAT happened… Is that okay?” Ellie smiled as she gave Cat a soft peck on the lips. “Okay baby.” Ellie plopped herself down on the couch, facing Cat as she thought hard about what she wanted to say. “Y/n has been my friend ever since kindergarten. So you know… right?” Ellie stared in to Cat’s eyes, expecting an answer or maybe a sign that she should stop talking. “Yes, I know. Just please be straightforward with me baby.”

“I liked her back then. Okay? It was a year ago, Baby. And I just stopped ‘cause I couldn’t read her. I don’t know if she’s straight, confused, gay, or experimenting. I don’t know baby, i’m just over it.” Ellie said grabbing on to Cat’s hands, gripping on it tightly as she felt that Cat was having a sense of doubt. And if she was ever going to be with this girl, she had to make her feel that she was the only one. Okay kudos for a masc lesbian

“Okay… but why do you call her “Babe”? Why are you guys always touchy with eachother? Why do you post her more than me? I’m sorry Ellie, it’s just really hard to think about.” Ellie went silent for a moment not knowing how to defend herself or think of a reason to earn Cat’s peace of mind. “I’m sorry baby.” Ellie said, her voice breaking. “You still love her, don’t you?” Cat said smiling bitterly as she brought the back of Ellie’s hand against her lips, hoping that Ellie would say no. “I… I don’t know. Fuck. Cat, i’m sorry.” Ellie said looking down at her lap, clearly ashamed of herself. She was thinking of you before she went in here, And after that, she started kissing Cat, then next she said she was over you, now she doesn’t know if she still loves you? God.

“You’re confused, Ellie. And it’s okay, I forgive you. And whatever happened between us before and right now? I’d do it all over again.” Cat said softly kissing Ellie’s hand. “I don’t deserve you…” Ellie whispered. “You do… It’s just not the right time.” Cat said mimicking Ellie’s tone. There was a minute of silence between Ellie and Cat, but it didn’t last as Cat broke the silence with a request. A request that breaks her to know that it will never happen again. “Can I get a kiss? One last time before you go?” Cat asked scoffing at her own request. “I don’t know… can you?” Ellie said laughing as Cat laughed with her, finally bringing light in to the situation. “This time… make it longer. Please.” Ellie nodded as she cupped Cat’s cheeks, pulling her in to a passionate kiss. “I’m…sorry…” Ellie whispered in between kisses as she could feel Cat’s tears stain her own cheek. Cat whimpered as she cupped Ellie’s face writing the words “it’s ok” and drawing hearts while kissing Ellie. Wanting to make the moment last longer as she knew that this could be the last time she’ll ever feel those lips on her again.

A few minutes passed and they pulled away, gasping for air. They looked in to eachother’s eyes, trying to find the words but Cat seemed to still have the courage to speak up. “For what it’s worth, in another life, I would choose you again.” Ellie smiled tears forming her eyes as she realized that she was about to lose her girl over someone that she wasn’t sure of. But then again, you weren’t so sure about yourself too. “I know this is cliché, and you don’t have to agree. But I wouldn’t mind still communicating after this. We don’t have to be friends. Just- civilized. You know? Like “Ellie, help me carry my new refrigerator” civilized.” Ellie negotiated, making Cat laugh. “Sure, I won’t mind.”

“Anyway, I have to go.” Ellie stood up and situated herself as Cat did the same. They looked in to eachother’s eyes once again, but instead of a kiss, they hugged. It was the last one and they don’t want to leave yearning for more. “Goodbye for now Ellie.” Ellie nodded as she headed to the door, closing it behind her. Ellie pulled out her phone to message you, saying that she’ll be home. Expecting the little pink heart emoji’s with the excited replies.

Ellie sighed as she placed her phone back in her pocket, not receiving any replies from you soon. She took a taxi all the way home, thinking- or should I say, overthinking about what had caused you to act so cold all of the sudden. But then again, there were other things she needed to talk to you about. Not just you even. Also Jesse and Dina, but she didn’t know why she couldn’t bring herself to do it. In reality, Ellie and Cat were dating. They weren’t just going on a date, and it was slowly breaking Cat to know that Ellie would’ve shown you off on social media in a heartbeat, but not her. Because in reality, Ellie was taking care of someone’s feelings. And unfortunately, it wasn’t Cat’s. But yours. But even though that Ellie and Cat have already broken up, Ellie wanted to come clean and she was going to do it now.

Ellie closed her phone and put it back in her pocket, sighing as she ran a hand over her face. Eventually arriving at your shared apartment. She went up to the front door, grabbing her keys. But before she could put the key in to unlock the door, she heard the door click. Revealing yourself as you opened the door for her. “Hey, I thought you were at Xavier’s.” Ellie said smiling as she came in, closing the door behind her. “I just decided to stop by.” You said giving her a thin-lined smile. “Stop by? Y/n, you live here.” Ellie chuckled. “That’s the thing.” Ellie stopped in her tracks to look at you, kicking her shoes off at the same time.

“Ellie, i’m moving out.”

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Special Tags: @gold-dustwomxn (im tagging you again but please do tell me if you don’t want to be tagged anymore.) , @lil-elliesgf , @ximtiredx

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nothingtoseeherebyeexx · 11 months

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Delicate, Chapter Two: …Ready For It?

same disclaimer as last time this is just for funsies and i’m not a writer !! also we’ve unlocked cissa and lily povs!!

CW: a bit of alcohol-related struggles

< prev chapter next chapter >

“Lily that was mental! You can’t just say things like that, especially in your situation! What if you get sued?”

“The money you waste on PR teams, I invest in lawyers!” Lily replied, dropping her keys on the table, an exasperated Alice following her inside their home.

“She brought up Snape,” Lily justified herself with a sigh, “You know how I get when they bring up Snape.”

They had just come back from Rita Skeeter’s show, and of course it had been a complete disaster: that woman loved to pick the touchiest topics during her live shows, banally exploiting private matters for views and publicity. That was one of the two reasons most celebrities refused to be her guests, the other being that she was generally a very unpleasant woman to interact with.

A right bitch, if you will.

However, Lily’s situation was…singular.

About a year before she had upset a few (many) big shots in the music and acting industries, gaining a lot of enemies and getting terrible backlash. It had been a horrible year, and thankfully her friends were there for her, but she wanted to get back on the scene. She wasn’t going to let some rich assholes dim her light.

So, of course, when Rita Skeeter had offered her an interview, she had accepted out of desperation. Like an idiot.

“She read one of Avery’s Tweets and you went crazy!” whined Alice.

“I didn’t go crazy-“

“‘How is Lily Evans still relevant? She only makes songs about Snape, he basically made her famous’ And what did you say, Lily?”

Lily bit her lip, remembering the moment with just the tiniest bit of shame. The smile Rita had on her lips while reading that stupid Tweet, the blind rage it had caused.

“Please remind me, what did you say?”

“Something mature and responsible, i’m sure-“

“You said, and I quote, ‘Just to let Avery Jr know, I was the one who made that bitch fucking famous’” Alice countered, eyebrows raised.

Lily swallowed. “…I didn’t say anything else though, did I?”

“Because they cut the cameras!”

“Listen,” rebutted Lily, sitting on the sofa in their living room and pulling out her phone.

“I may have implied that he’s gay but it’s not my fault if he finds that offensive! It’s his problem, really, and he can’t bring that up to court.”

“I think you should focus on the fact that you called Severus Snape a bitch, and that he would be a nobody if it weren’t for you,” countered Alice, taking a pot of peach yoghurt from the fridge. “I pity Longbottom, really: lately being your manager seems like a fucking nightmare.”

“Good thing he’s good at his job, then. He’s like part of the family now.” Lily looked up from her phone smiling, “You are the mum, he’s the dad, Marlene is the reckless younger sister and i’m the angry teen full of hatred for this world.”

“We’re both too young to be your parents, and he might be suspicious of his wife writing about women in her love songs, you know.” Alice smiled, taking a spoonful of yoghurt. “What are you watching?”

“Oh, it’s Narcissa’s last show,” explained Lily with a shrug, “She performed a few songs for a festival last week and I heard great things about a certain performance…apparently she’s been working with this girl for a few months, singing together. She’s been hiding a gem, that’s what her fans have been saying.”

“And how come you’re suddenly so interested in Narcissa Black? Didn’t know you were a fan of hers.” Alice got closer, leaning over Lily’s head to watch the video on her phone. She carried the faint smell of peaches and the weight of past personal issues in her voice, but Lily wasn’t going to pry. Much.

“I like her music, actually. But it’s this new girl that really piqued my interest. New blood, always exciting.” Lily paused the video and decided to push her luck, just a bit. “They remind me of us, you know: a younger singer, guided by a-“

“I’m not like Black. And you were already popular when we started living together with Marlene, so I don’t think it counts.” Alice cut her off, harshly, and started walking away. “I’m going to my room, see if I can write something.”

Lily silently accepted her defeat and swiftly changed topic. “Pizza tonight?”

But Alice had already gone up to her room, so Lily took it as permission to order whatever she wanted.

She had no clue what Alice’s issue with Narcissa Black was: in the three years she had been living with her, Alice had never given a sign of knowing Black, and Lily could’ve easily thought Alice had absolutely no connection to her.

However, the way Alice became quiet whenever Narcissa showed up on TV and how she’d turn off the radio when Black’s songs were playing indicated otherwise: in Lily’s opinion, Alice was trying really hard to hide her…hatred? No, not hatred-distaste for Narcissa, but her indifference was a too-long practiced craft for it to be genuine.

Lily thought that constantly trying to ignore someone counted as actually thinking about them, and she had therefore concluded that Alice Fortescue was mildly obsessed with Narcissa Black.

Marlene and Frank agreed that there was something going on between the two, or at least there had been, so Lily supposed she wasn’t just jumping to conclusions.

However, whenever they tried to bring it up, they were always shut off by Alice, and, as childish as it may sound, it hurt: Lily, Marlene and Alice had known each other for years, they had shared fears, hopes, secrets. They had never broken each other’s trust, and that was one of the fundamentals of their friendship.

So why was Alice so incredibly jealous of the corner Narcissa occupied in her mind? Was she ever going to let them in?

She would, eventually.

Or at least Lily hoped so.

In the mean time, she had a new singer to focus her attention on: an unknown girl named Mary Macdonald, who performed for the first time with the Narcissa Black, as the closing act of a festival that had sold out probably because of Black. The piece they were going to sing was a fan favourite, Born to Die, so the crowd’s expectations were extremely high.

This Mary Macdonald was either exceptionally confident, or completely mental.

But when she started to sing, Lily was immediately captivated. From the way she walked on the stage, to how she swayed to the music, to the bright smile on her lips when she wasn’t singing, it was impossible for Lily to take her eyes off her. For a few minutes, Mary’s voice seemed like the only real thing in the world, making everything else feel mundane, unworthy of attention.

Narcissa let Mary steal the spotlight, looking at her proudly like she was showing the world a ground breaking discovery. And she wasn’t wrong, because the girl sang for barely five minutes, and yet Lily was already starving for more.

How could Mary fear the eyes of a few thousands of people when she sang like the whole world was watching? How could she feel the pressure of being a guest on another star’s show, when she shone just as bright?

Lily didn’t need much more after that.

She opened her chat with Alice and Marlene.

lil evans: i’m going to sing with Mary Macdonald and there’s nothing you can do to stop me.

lil evans: and we’re having pizza tonight.

“Making her sing during that show was completely mental, Cissa.” Amelia was leaning against the desk in front of Narcissa, arms crossed.

It had always been hard for Narcissa to find her intimidating, since they were similar in both age and personality, so she was one of the few who weren’t affected by her signature Amelia Bones Glare. In addition to that, her mischievous eyes and Narcissa’s satisfied smile made the whole conversation feel more like two friends chatting casually, rather than a lecture about Narcissa’s…surprise song. Introducing Mary to a crowd like that had been a bold choice, but neither of the singers regretted it.

Narcissa and Mary had been working together everyday for two months now, 6 hours of practice daily. Narcissa was aware this rhythm was probably unbearable for Mary, who had another job, but the girl had been set on working her ass off to start thinking about her own album as soon as possible, and even when she eventually started working on it, she still spent a quarter of her day singing.

They even spent part of their free time together: considering how much Mary seemed to dread staying home and how discreet she was about her private life, Narcissa had the suspicion her family situation wasn’t exactly the best, so she had been inviting her over to her place as often as possible with the weirdest excuses to give her a distraction.

It’s not like Narcissa could have helped it, she knew what a shit family could do to a person, and she genuinely appreciated Mary’s company, too.

So much, in fact, that she had taken her to perform live for the first time as soon as she had the chance.

“You’re right, Mel, it was crazy. It worked, though,” replied Narcissa nonchalantly, bringing a cigarette to her lips. Thank God Amelia was also a smoker and allowed the occasional cig-breaks indoors, as long as Narcissa had to share. “It’s all the media has been talking about for the past two weeks. Besides, we are going to drop her album in, like, less than a month, some extra publicity can’t hurt.”

“It was her first time singing to an audience, and you made her jump on a stage in front of live cameras,” Amelia cocked her head to the side, eyes wide in amazement. “She could’ve fucked it up, and I wouldn’t have blamed her.”

“But she didn’t,” countered Narcissa, resting her head against the armchair. “Because we talked about it beforehand. Listen, that girl was born to perform, her place isn’t inside a small recording room. I wanted the people to see her for the first time at her best.”

Amelia shook her head with something vaguely resembling fondness. “You really do care about her, don’t you? Pass it.” Narcissa inhaled and handed her the cigarette. She exhaled and watched as the smoke floated in the air, light under the sun rays like a bride’s veil.

“Why did you even agree to introduce her to me? I didn’t know you had such a kind heart.” Amelia commented, eyes squinted towards the window. “Not that I’m ungrateful. I have a lot of hope in Mary. However, you didn’t strike me as the type of woman who wanted to be…a mentor, I guess.”

Narcissa was still watching the smoke leave the cigarette, head tilted back.

She still didn’t know why she’d let Mary into her home that night, months before.

She knew, however, that she hadn’t hoped to make it past 27, yet there she was, not too far from her 28th birthday.

Leaving her parents’ house and throwing herself onto new projects hadn’t magically changed Narcissa’s life for the better, and she’d also found herself completely alone. There was also the fact that she ended up high or drunk way too often to not consider it a problem, although in the past she hadn’t worried about it too much: many great stars died like that, and Narcissa wasn’t too bothered by the thought of joining them.

But then Mary showed up, with her determination and stoic audacity, so set on really owning her life, and made Narcissa realise how scary her indifference towards death was.

In truth, that night Amelia had answered her email almost immediately.

“The album is promising, but there’s a lot of work to do, Narcissa.”

“I know, but I swear, she has it. The spark, I-I felt it. I could help-“

“You have to be able to help, Narcissa. You know what I mean, right?”

She didn’t drink for five days, after that call. And on the fifth day, Amelia gave her a chance, and Mary officially became part of her life. Since then, there had been highs and lows: sometimes she went to Edgar (who was much more empathetic than Amelia, though Narcissa would never say that to her face), and he’d go to her house to throw away her remaining alcohol. Other times, when Mary was willing to drink with her, she let herself take a glass or two: Narcissa’s rule of thumb was drinking one glass less than Mary, and considering that the girl was still wary of drinking more than a few glasses or a couple of shots, Narcissa hadn’t gotten tipsy in two whole months.

“Narcissa? Are you there?” Amelia waved her hand in front of her eyes. Narcissa noted that the cigarette had disappeared somewhere.

“Yes, Mel. Was just thinking.”

“About?” Amelia asked, eyebrow raised, but Narcissa didn’t say anything. She didn’t like talking about her struggles, but Amelia Bones always seemed to read her mind, which was equally endearing and annoying. So, at the silence that followed, she said, “You’re doing better, by the way. Have you told-“

“I’m not going to tell her-“

“NAR-CIS-SAAAA” Mary barged into the room, eyes bulging and breathing heavily. Her arms were open wide, phone in hand.

“Ma-ryyyy?” Narcissa replied in confusion while raising her arms, mimicking the girl. Mary rushed to her and shoved the phone in her face with an excited smile.

“Som-someone just contacted me and you won’t believe-oh, Amelia, you need to see this, too!”

“Stay still, child, you’re moving too much.” complained Narcissa, squinting at the bright screen and wrapping a hand around Mary’s wrist to steady it. Amelia quickly moved closer, read the first few words, and immediately frowned. “That’s a name I haven’t seen in a while.”

Dear Miss Mary Macdonald,

This is Lily Evans, if the email address wasn’t a dead giveaway. I just saw a video of your performance with Narcissa Black, and I must say, you’ve instantly enchanted me. I could spend many words praising your incredible singing, but perhaps it would be more efficient to get straight to the point.

You may already know this, but because of certain circumstances last year, I completely disappeared from the public eye. I will soon make a comeback though, and I was wondering if you wanted to write a song with me to put in the album. Or we could write a single, however you prefer: to be completely honest, this is just an excuse to sing with you.

I’ll leave my phone number, in case you wish to reach out to me <3

Have a delightful day,

Miss Lily Evans

“What do I do, what do I do?” Mary asked leaving her phone to Narcissa and Amelia, their eyes still glued to the screen.

“Well, Evans has a big fan base, a collaboration with her would be great.” Amelia said, still analysing the email like it was a cryptic message from an alien.

“Do you also sense a flirty undertone or am I seeing things?” she whispered.

“I don’t know, maybe she’s just very informal and frien-no okay, now that you’ve mentioned it, I can kinda see it.” Narcissa replied just as quietly.

“Shoot your shot Mary!” she said, smiling fondly at the girl, who was covering her face with her hands.

“But first, consider that Evans has been in the middle of some drama lately. Despite her loyal fans, her reputation has gone to shit during the past year. You know that, right?” Amelia asked, standing up next to Narcissa’s chair.

“…Actually, I don’t.” Mary replied.

“How do you-“ Amelia whispered, appalled. “Well, I’ll send you some links so you can get what I mean. I had the chance to speak to her a couple of times, she’s a good person. A bit fierce and isn’t afraid of speaking her mind, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing,” Amelia got closer and put a hand on Mary’s arm.

“I bet she’ll be a pleasure to work with. If you want I can contact her manager.”

Mary chewed on her lip, deep in thought.

“Fuck it, I’m doing it.” she snapped, getting her phone back from Narcissa, who let out a small ‘ooooh’ as encouragement.

“But I’ll text her myself. We’ll figure out the rest later.”

“I agree. You should also meet her in person, first,” intervened Narcissa, knowingly. “You don’t want to work with someone you don’t get along with. Two artists need chemistry.”

“Mhm…” Mary agreed, distractedly. “I’ll go, then. I just wanted to tell you first, I was absolutely freaking out-“

“Of course you were, it’s Lily Evans we’re talking about,” said Amelia understandingly, “Everyone knows at least one of her songs.”

“…Yeah,” commented Mary, with an unsure smile. “Yes, of course I do. Well, thank you. I’ll see you tomorrow.” The two women watched Mary leave the room, practically bouncing instead of walking.

“So, Mary and Lily…” started Amelia once the room had gone back to quiet, still eyeing the door.

“Apparently.” Narcissa already knew where this was going.

“You know she’s Fortescue’s girl, right?”

“I’m aware.”

“…Interesting.”

“I’m not even looking at you but I can feel your stupid grin. Stop it.”

The phone was ringing when Lily got out of the shower: it was rather late, and she wasn’t really expecting any calls. She didn’t recognise the number on the screen, but it wasn’t the usual Unknown Number that meant Snape was trying to get in contact with her, so she accepted the call.

“Hello?”

“Good evening, is this Miss Lily Evans?” greeted a voice on the other side, and Lily recognised with a smile the old-fashioned welcome.

“Well yes, could this be my dear Miss Mary Macdonald?” she replied, just as charmingly. So Mary wanted to work with her, despite everything…maybe Marlene was right, things were getting more promising.

“My my, it may just be her,” then she laughed softly, and it was such a pleasant sound Lily wanted to put it in a song, somehow. “Sorry, I broke character. Anyway, am I disturbing you?”

“Not everyone is born an actor, darling, and no, not at all-“ Lily scrunched her curls with a wet towel.

“Good, because I wanted to tell you I would love to write a song with you,“ Lily saw her smile widen as she looked at herself in the mirror.

“-But I’m afraid we’ll have to wait at least three weeks.” Mary concluded, sounding so sorry Lily couldn’t manage to feel too disappointed.

“Oh, it’s fine, I can be patient. How come we have to postpone our meeting? If I can ask, of course.”

“Well, you see, I’m working on-“

“LILY!” Marlene barged into her room screaming, her brown eyes open wide and blonde hair even messier than usual.

One thing about Marlene is that she never banally entered rooms, she always barged in, slamming doors open and announcing the motifs of her intrusion. It was a rather dramatic habit, but it always made Alice smile when Marlene appeared on top of the stairs, shouted “HUNGRY!”, and set the dinner-making process in action. Lily was just grateful someone in the house never forgot about meals.

“Marlene-“

“PETER IS BACK IN TOWN!” she continued, grabbing Lily’s shoulder.

“Excuse me, Mary, can you hang in there for a minute? I’ll be back shortly.” Lily explained, widening her eyes at Marlene, who quickly covered her mouth with her hands, surprised but not really apologetic.

Mary laughed, “Sure, no problem.”

“I’m sorry…” Marlene smiled as Lily muted herself, although she seemed more enthusiastic than sorry.

Marlene, Peter and James had known each other since they were kids, and being all separated for work matters (Marlene and Peter had always worked solo, while James had formed a duo with Sirius Black when they were sixteen), they were all overexcited when they had an excuse to see each other. The four of them together reminded Lily of those puppies that are perpetually either jumping, running or barking.

“It’s okay. So, Peter is back?” Lily smiled.

When Peter was younger, he used to be really quiet and shy, always getting dragged into trouble by James and Marlene first, and then Sirius, too.

Or at least, that’s what Marlene had told her. Lily found it hard to believe, considering how Peter acted now: he was comfortable on the stage, always ready to joke, in front of thousands of people or with his closest friends alike; he wasn’t necessarily the loudest at a party (that honour went to Sirius and James), but he was still a pleasure to have a conversation (and especially talk shit) with.

“Not yet, actually. He’ll be back this Saturday,” Marlene answered, biting back a smile.

“I bet Effie is hosting a welcome-home party as soon as he gets in town,” Lily continued, remembering how Mrs Potter always found opportunities to gather all her “kids” (as she had nominated James and all his friends) under her roof.

“Oh, it’ll be a big one this time,” Marlene confirmed. “She has already asked me to invite every living being I know. Wait, are you on the phone with Mary Macdonald?”

“Shit, I’m making her wait. Can we talk about this later?” Lily asked, bringing the phone to her chest. Nice first impression, idiot.

“Wait, wait. Invite her, too.” Marlene suggested, wiggling her eyebrows.

“I can’t ask her to come to a party all alone with a bunch of people she doesn’t even know-“

“Then ask her to bring Narcissa, too,” Marlene wiggled her eyebrows more aggressively.

It took Lily an instant. She gaped.

“You sick, sick bastard. Alice will be there. Shit will go down, you know?”

“Why? Alice and Narcissa don’t even know each other,” Marlene batted her eyelashes with an innocent shrug. “Besides, Sirius hasn’t spoken to his cousin in forever, they need to catch up.”

Lily licked her lips thoughtfully and brought her attention back to the phone. A formal party wasn’t the best setting to talk about work, but it was perfect for getting to know someone. And Lily really wanted to get to know Mary. She unmuted herself and brought the phone to her ear.

“Hey, before we continue, are you free this Saturday?”

that was all, hope you liked it and let me know if you want to be tagged when i post updates bc it won’t be that often lmao

#lily in her rep era #there’s another chapter before the party chapter(s) but i’m writing them rn and i’m having a lot of fun ngl #anyways #marauders #marauders era #marylily #mary macdonald #lily evans #narcissa black #alice fortescue #alicissa #nobleflower #marlene mckinnon #i need to find a title asap #so i can make a tag #fic: delicate

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kbrick · 1 year

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Peak Drarry: Celebrating Incredible Writers - lettersbyelise

Peak Drarry is a series of posts celebrating the absolute treasure trove of talented writers in this fandom, and a reminder of how lucky we are to have them here with us. Find last month’s post featuring @aibidil here. This month features a fan-and-personal-favorite, @lettersbyelise.

✨lettersbyelise✨

I was introduced to Elise’s writing when they returned to the fandom in late 2021 after a little haitus. Being fairly new to Drarry at the time, I had not yet heard of Elise, though plenty of other readers were chomping at the bit to get their hands on Elise’s new work. I kept hearing good things, so I figured I’d check it out—and immediately fell in love after reading Burn the Witch. The fic was poignant, exciting, and, above all, full of dreamy, delicious romance. So, why should you read Elise’s fic? Here are a few reasons:

The ungodly levels of UST

Elise’s Harry and Draco are fully in lust from the first, even if they still despise each other. In Unfold Me, Harry hates his roommate Malfoy so much that he can’t stop thinking about him or the smell of his laundry detergent. And then, when Malfoy accidentally includes his own t-shirt in Harry’s clean laundry pile, Harry has had enough. He sleeps with Malfoy’s t-shirt under his pillow (and does other, unspeakable things while sniffing it) as retribution. In Cabin Fever, Harry doesn’t like Malfoy or anything, but he can’t help but notice when a sudden gust of wind “whipped through Malfoy’s burgundy, standard-issue Auror cloak and exposed his shapely posterior for Harry to admire.” Okay, and fine, he’s also noticed the way Malfoy laughs, how he strides “through the Auror department corridors like a young prince perusing his future kingdom” (Harry’s words, not mine), and sometimes runs a hand through his “short, stylish, impossibly blond hair.” But don’t worry! Malfoy’s also lusting over Harry, a fact that he accidentally lets slip when he calls Harry ‘pretty’ out of nowhere (which obviously makes Harry lose his damn mind).

Sometimes Harry and Draco’s lust is very inconvenient, like in Draco Malfoy’s Stupendous Seduction Seminar, when Draco recalls a time Potter was pressed against him in the lifts and afterward, Draco had to “walk around with a manila folder held in front of his crotch for a good fifteen minutes.” Poor Draco. Sometimes, Harry is so hot that Draco’s body can’t handle it, like in Burn the Witch, when Draco sees Harry for the first time in years and his heart skips a beat. Literally, “[s]kipped a fucking beat, like in a cheap romance novel.”

Thankfully, Harry’s usually in the same boat. He’s cursed with having a sort of sixth sense when it comes to Malfoy. He can “walk into a room and know Malfoy is there before he even sets eyes on him.” (Draco Malfoy’s Stupendous Seduction Seminar). The back of his neck prickles whenever Malfoy’s around, okay? It’s not his fault. Malfoy only encourages it, doing things like wearing body-con leggings during a play (Upstaged) so that Harry is basically forced to go and see him perform a bagillion times in a row.

Further complicating matters, Elise’s Harry has typically been thinking about Malfoy for a very long time, in very R-rated ways, like in Laws of Gravity, wherein he muses over the fact that Malfoy kneeling in front of him in a cloakroom is “every fantasy Harry has ever blocked coming to life with an incandescent lack of warning.” Oh, generic gay fantasies, you ask? Hardly. We’re talking Malfoy-specific fantasies that involve “the version Harry’s always kept in the back of his mind, all these years—a hungry, debauched version…” Mm hm. This lust has been brewing for ages.

Occasionally, Elise likes to throw in they-almost-go-there-but-stop-themselves moments that make the UST levels fly off the charts altogether. I literally wrote in my notes on Had To Be You, “oh my god! No!! No! Just have sex! Oh my godddd!!!” (look what you’ve reduced me to, Elise). But Harry and Draco did not have sex at that time. Instead, they proceeded to eat dinner together, sporting what I can only imagine were horrendously painful blue balls. Don’t worry, though—it’s worth the wait when it happens.

Because, listen, if you’re sitting there thinking that all this UST buildup must lead to some scorching hot smut, then you are one hundred percent right. I’m not going to spoil these sexy, delicious, smutty scenes for you here by telling you too much about them, but as a preview, here’s Harry narrating in Had to Be You:

Harry’s heart keeps wanting to escape his ribcage, or at least burst it open, it’s beating so loud. He’s never felt anything like this — this anticipation, like the second before a kiss, only drawn up for minutes, for hours, for bloody months, if Harry’s perfectly honest with himself. There hasn’t been anyone else than Draco for months, maybe years...[T]he back of Draco’s hand brushes his, soft and warm and secret, and Harry nearly gasps, because just that tiny touch of Draco’s is the most erotic thing he’s experienced.

A brush of Draco’s hand does that, ladies and gentlemen. So, yeah, the smut is good.

All that sweet, sweet pining

Listen, I’m not going to say that Elise enjoys torturing readers—I can’t see into their mind! But if I had to guess, I’d say maybe they enjoy it a little? Because Harry and Draco pine so hard in Elise’s fic. Oh, sure, they’ll eventually come to experience a life-changing, soul-filling love for the ages, but first they are going to suffer. If you are anything like me, though, you’ll eat it up because it’s beautiful in its own right, and because it makes the payoff so, so sweet. But first, the pain.

Sometimes jealousy is involved, like in Had to Be You. For years, Draco and Harry watch each other date around and absolutely hate it. This results in various degrees of tantrum-throwing. When Harry makes out with Draco’s friend at a music festival, Harry notes that Draco is in a black mood the next day, and that it has “nothing to do with the weather.” Draco stops talking to Harry for a month after that. A month! When Draco sets off on an Italian holiday with a boyfriend, Harry stomps around until he gets a text from Draco that says Draco misses him (yes, Draco’s texting Harry that he misses him while on a holiday with his boyfriend, and no, neither one of them realizes what this means at this point).

Other times, there is no one else in the picture, and yet our dear boys still pine. They yearn for the thing they think they cannot have (even though they definitely, definitely can have it). In Laws of Gravity, Harry is completely obsessed with Malfoy from the start, although he’s sure it won’t work out because Malfoy’s a pickpocket, and also because he’s Malfoy. Harry thinks maybe the feelings will fade? Fat chance, when he readily admits that his life is “bisected into before and after Malfoy’s mind-boggling blowjob.” Harry. Buddy. You’ve divided your entire life (which included a starring role in a war, mind) into pre-blowjob and post-blowjob. I’m pretty sure your feelings are here to stay.

And the reality is, sex is never enough for these two. Nothing short of lifelong love and devotion is ever enough. After Malfoy keeps putting out for Harry in Laws of Gravity, Harry tells him he’s sending mixed signals. Malfoy points out that he’s given Harry not one, but two blowjobs at this point, and he very clearly wants him. Harry argues that it’s “not the same as liking someone.” Because see, Harry and Draco want everything from each other in Elise’s fic. Not just blowjobs, not just friendship, not just casual dating. They want everything.

They’ll make you believe in true love

Which brings me to my final point. Elise’s stories are about the most unabashedly romantic things I’ve ever read. In their first fic on AO3, Had To Be You, Elise notes that it’s inspired by When Harry Met Sally, a film they admit to having watched ‘a hundred’ times. This is not surprising to me. Because if you love When Harry Met Sally, you are someone who loves love, who has a tender center and a soft heart. And after going through Elise’s fics one by one, let me tell you: Elise loves love. Elise loves romance. And this comes through in all their stories, which are, at their core, tender and beautiful depictions of true love.

In Elise’s fic-universe, Harry and Draco were always meant to be, and literally everyone around them knows it. In Had To Be You, Hermione has a heart to heart with Harry in which she makes him acknowledge his feelings for Draco. “I’ve seen how you’ve been practically drooling over Draco for months now,” she says. “And you’ve been obsessed with him…for years. It was the weird thing you had for him in Sixth Year, and now it’s this very intense friendship.” Harry argues with her about the intense friendship, but eventually has to concede the point. In The Generation Who Lived, Neville and Luna scheme to get Harry and Draco alone in their house so that they’ll reconcile (again, because everyone knows they’re meant to be). My favorite fic in this vein is Re: Harry’s Crush, wherein the entire Ministry is emailing back and forth about how obsessed Harry and Draco are with each other. It’s common knowledge. Everyone else can see it, it just sometimes takes Harry and Draco a while to catch on.

But Harry and Draco do know, deep down, even when they don’t admit it at first. It comes out in flashes, like when they have sex for the first time in Had To Be You and Harry notes that “the connection was something [he’d] never felt, not with any of the many lovers he’d had in the past, and it left him feeling raw, exposed and shy, despite the deep pleasure coursing through his veins.” Or in Paper Rings, when Draco reminisces about his Eighth-Year fling with Harry and how he knew, even at the time, that it had been both “inevitable” and that he would never recover from it, emotionally. Or in Laws Of Gravity, when Harry realizes he doesn’t want Malfoy to go, even though he doesn’t know what that means. (It means you love him, Harry!).

One of the things I adore about Elise’s fic is that there is always this fantastic, pivotal moment when things click. It’s the moment when our guarded main characters let their walls fall, let themselves see what everyone else has known for so long. And then this thing—this love—that has felt so impossible suddenly seems easy. There’s a surety that comes flooding in, a recognition that yes, this is the person for me, and yes, they want me too. It’s even said tongue-in-cheek (although we know it’s hilariously real) in Kill, Fuck, Marry when the boys wake up after their first night together. They’d been playing the titular ‘marry, fuck, kill’ the night before, and Draco says, well, you’ve already tried to kill me and you’ve already fucked me, so “[t]he only thing left to do is marry me, I suppose.” Does this scare Harry off? Not at all. “You’ve already got more birthday presents than you deserved Malfoy,” Harry says. “This one will have to wait until next year. If you’re good.” One date and shag, and they’re already joking about getting married. God help us.

But lest you think this is some sort of shallow insta-love, it’s not. Elise, particularly in their long fic, depicts a love of equals, of two men who root for one another and stand up for one another, who have each other’s backs. It’s lovely, the way they see one another so clearly, the way they advocate for one another. Whether it’s Harry in Burn the Witch fighting against a Ministry that’s unfairly targeted Draco, or Draco in Paper Rings advocating for Harry in Harry’s divorce, these are two people who admire and respect each other. It's evident in Harry’s thoughts about how brave Draco is regarding his sexuality in Draco Malfoy’s Stupendous Seduction Seminar. Or, beautifully, in Draco’s thoughts in Paper Rings, when he contemplates that “Harry had spent so many years not being appreciated for who he was…not being loved.” He wonders how “blind Ginevra Weasley must have been not to see how good [Harry was]…how utterly perfect in every one of his complicated ways.” They know that the other is not actually perfect (after all, they, more than anyone, are familiar with the other’s faults), but they love them just the same. In Fire Meet Gasoline, Draco spells out his shortcomings to Harry—all of them—and Harry just says, “Do you think that frightens me? ‘Cause it doesn’t. I told you already. I want everything you are.”

Incidentally, after that gorgeous bit of dialogue from Fire Meet Gasoline, Harry asks Draco to stay with him. Draco thinks about how he doesn’t do love, but Potter was the exception (sort of like how Harry muses that he’s “Draco-sexual” in Paper Rings). Then he says, “I couldn’t leave you if I tried…I’m afraid you’re stuck with me now, Potter.” Cue the violins. Le sigh.

Ahhh, Drarry in its best and most natural state. Soulmates, each other’s one and only, together forever and ever, amen.

And one of my favorite things about Elise: they will get you there every time, no matter how improbable it seems at the start.

You can count on it.

Recommended For…

Lovers of love. Connoisseurs of quality, emotional smut. Anyone who wants to get swept up in an epic sort of romance, who believes that romantic partners should lift you up and bring out the best in you. People who believe in soulmates. Those who believe (or want to believe) in happily ever after. Here are a few you might want to check out, but honestly, you can’t go wrong with anything Elise has written.

Top 3 Fics Over 25,000 Words (by kudos)

Burn The Witch (E, 96k) - When Harry Potter is sent in to investigate Draco Malfoy’s successful potions company, posing as Draco’s bodyguard, he doesn’t know the case will launch a series of events that will change his life — and Draco’s. A story about choices, scars, Chopin piano pieces, and finding all kinds of love in the most unexpected places.

Had To Be You (E, 59k) - Draco Malfoy is possibly the last person Harry expects to find at the wheel of a Muggle car, on a beautiful summer day on the road to London. This is the story of how Harry runs into Draco once, twice, three times, and how he doesn’t leave their next meeting to chance. A fic inspired by When Harry Met Sally.

Paper Rings (E, 50k) – When Harry’s in need of a divorce lawyer, he has no choice but to turn to the best in the trade. Draco Malfoy’s reputation for discretion is flawless, and his track record for winning cases is close to perfect. But he’s also ruthless, passionate, and as infuriating as ever, and the brief relationship he and Harry had in Eighth Year still feels painfully fresh despite two decades spent apart.

Top 3 Fics Under 25,000 Words (by kudos)

Kill, Fuck, Marry (E, 4k) - Harry and Draco unexpectedly meet again on Draco’s birthday, years after their last encounter.

Draco Malfoy’s Stupendous Seduction Seminar (E, 2.7k) - Draco Malfoy offers to help his coworkers to improve their seduction techniques, with unexpected consequences.

Re: Harry’s Crush (T, 1.9k) - Ever get that feeling you're being talked about behind your back? Harry doesn't, he's too busy being stupidly, obviously besotted with the guy in the lab downstairs. A fic where the interdepartment betting war at the Ministry gets out of hand, Millicent and Hermione get scheming, Harry Potter ends up wearing black eyeliner, and everybody ends up getting more than they bargained for.

Kbrick’s Picks (in order of obsession)

The Laws of Gravity (E, 31k) - When he runs into Draco Malfoy picking pockets at a charity gala, Harry Potter is forced to face the desires he’s avoided for years — at the risk of shattering the public image he’s so carefully curated since the war.

Fire Meet Gasoline (E, 63k) - When Draco’s anger management issues land him in St Mungo’s, he thinks his Quidditch career is over. But Harry, A&E Healer and notorious workaholic, is faced with a similar predicament. To save their jobs, the two of them decide to fake a relationship. All they have to do is convince their friends and employers… and not fall in love in the process. Simple, right?

#drarry #peak drarry #kbrick recs #lettersbyelise #fic recs

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