#can sometimes mean a lot to somebody that they don't realize does. so. up it stays!)

[rubenhopclap]

out of curiosity what's the moment being a hardcore Ruben stan really clicked for you

Really good question, thank you for asking.

I enjoyed when he was onscreen, even on first watch, but that's not exceptional. Brennan does great voices etc, he's a very funny presence, but all this can apply to Gertie, or a billion other NPCs. His art is so huggable, but that wouldn't be it on its own.

He kept growing on me slowly every time I went back through scenes to fact check and he was there. Even when we actually had the episode where we found out about Jace's involvement in his life and the confrontation with Henry, I got more engaged with his character but I wouldn't say I reached my full tipping point quite yet.

But what happened was, there were a couple posts where people thought it might be a trick, and that Henry was being inappropriate. Jace snapped because he was under stress, but ultimately he wasn't wrong in telling Henry to butt out, kind of thing.

I don't want to shame anyone for having that idea, it's a mystery season and I think it's normal and fine to reach for possibilities that stretch what's likely sometimes. But ya know, I went back through the scene to double-check my memories, and get the quote about Jace saying that he didn't even read all of Henry's concerns. (Which I feel like made Jace pretty clearly Wrong in that scene, even if he had turned out to just be a shitty teacher/administrator and not Ankarna-connected.)

And as I was again going back through his scenes and he kept growing on me, I was making more posts about him and realizing how few other people were posting about him in the tag. I got to thinking about it, like

"well hang on, we have this character with a great design. he's presented a lot like the emo equivalent of Zayn's caricature of gothness in season one. they've already investigated and found out he doesn't have a history of being toxic to anyone even though he's famous now and has the opportunities. and we just got huge evidence that the 'maybe some of the RGs are being manipulated and actually fine' that people wanted for Oisin in particular might actually be true for him."

and my first instinct was to check myself and go like "well remember just bc you're super invested in small NPCs doesn't mean anyone else would be, he's actually very minor and has little screentime-HANG ON A MINUTE. he's had more screentime than any other Rat Grinder! So then why-ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" And idk something about this kid who had more people going "maybe his uncle is evil for trying to protect him" than "oh damn we just found out he needs to be protected" made me go you know what. if nobody else is gonna take this corner of fandom than somebody gotta

And I rolled up my sleeves.

#fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #fhjy spoilers #ruben hopclap #rat grinders

[wordsofnoconsequence]

I have to say that I absolutely love love love your poetry and I would go through your entire blog if I could but also I want to take my time with reading it. So I will have to keep your blog open in a separate tab to read a poem every day

!!!!!! Bless you and thank you for coming to tell me so!! If my work brings you any sort of joy that means so so so much to me! I hope very much that you'll be able to find at least a little bit of hope in this corner of the internet.

#i will say that this blog is around 6??? years old #so there is a definite gradient in quality #and every few years i do a poem every day in november for nanowrimo which contributes to the sheer volume on here #but for me it's also a fun little trip down memory lane to have both my young self's and my current self's voices held in amber here! #so i hope you can enjoy it despite its faults! #(sometimes i feel the urge to take down some of my old work but sometimes i know that even things the creator doesn't like anymore #can sometimes mean a lot to somebody that they don't realize does. so. up it stays!) #it really really does mean so much to me that you came to tell me that you had a spark of joy though!!!

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

Neil talking about the responses to Good Omens Season 2 - from the Neil Gaiman interview with Brian Levine for The Gould Standard (x,x)

BL: The audience that you have built is a very passionately engaged audience. They, frankly, they love you. And one of the reasons they love you is that you fit into what I think of as one of two great divisions in art. There's, or in writing, um, there is: I'm entertained, I'm amused. I may be even enchanted; and then there's this hits me at a visceral level. You understand me as no one else does. You have touched something very central to my experience. And it seems to me that Much of your writing, maybe all of your writing, actually reaches your audience at that latter level. You know. I would say in the former category, sort of my quintessential and beloved example would be P. G. Woodhouse. He amuses me, but I don't feel like he's revealed my inner self at a very deep level. Um, were you aware that you were going to be able to achieve that? Um, that this is something... was it a startling thing when people began coming up to you, who'd read your work and said, this means so much to me?

Neil: Yeah. It was huge. And it wasn't expected. I... if I had a mountaintop I was heading towards, it was gonna be P. G. Woodhouse. Um, I wanted to be a proficient entertainer with a clear prose style who could tell stories. Um, it probably wasn't until Sandman that I found... I started to realize that in order for a story to work, I had to show too much. In order for a story to resonate, in order for a story to matter, I had to let it matter too much. And, and I remember the first people who would start coming up to me and saying, um, you, you know, your, your Sandman comics got me through the death of a loved one. Your death character got me through my child's death, through my parent's death, through my partner's death, through my friend's death. Um, and that left me kind of amazed. I'm like, well, I didn't write it to do that. I wrote it to feed my children. I wrote it to satisfy myself. I wrote it because nobody else had ever written it. And if I didn't write it, it wouldn't be written, but I don't think I wrote it to give you what you've taken from it. And I spent really about 20, 25 years feeling awkward about that. And then my father died, in March 2009, and never got to cry about it. Never... I, you know, I've, I've got on a plane and I went to the UK and dealt with the funeral stuff and organized all of that stuff and came back and go toff the plane and went and did Stephen Colbert's Colbert Report and wearing the funeral suit because and that was all I had with me and carried on. And then, somewhere in the middle of summer, I was reading a friend's script. They'd sent me a script and said, can you look this over? And I'm reading it, and on page 20, the lead character meets somebody, and on page 26 maybe, she's dead, and I burst into tears. And I'm bawling. I am sobbing. It is coming out of me in giant racking waves. And I realized that it's everything that I'd been, hadn't let myself feel, or hadn't been able, hadn't stopped enough to let myself feel, was suddenly being given permission to feel by the death of a fictional person who I'd met six pages earlier, ia script. And I thought that... and it was huge for me, and I thought, okay, that's that thing that people are talking about sometimes, when they come tome and they say, you, you did this. So right now, I'm in this weird, wonderful place where I think a lot of people in Good Omens Season 2 thought they were signing up for the P.G. Woodhouse, and didn't know that, no, no, no, you've, you've signed up for the whole thing. You've signed up for the feelings. You've signed up for the emotions. I... it is my job to make you care and to make you feel and to feel things you haven't felt before. And which meant that the first week or so after Good Omens came out, I was getting angry, furious, deeply upset messages on every possible social medium telling me that I had betrayed people, and it was awful, and they couldn't stop crying, and why would I do that to them, and did I hate them? And they hated me. And then a weird sort of phenomenon happened as people would watch the show again. And again. And now they started to know, okay, this is where it's gonna go, this is what's gonna happen, this is how it works. And they started realizing that they were actually feeling things, and that was good. And that they were caring about two people who don't exist. You know, I made them up, and then and Terry Pratchett made them up, and then, um, David Tennant and Michael Sheen gave them life, and then they get to walk around on a screen and you know they don't exist, but you can cry for them, you can love them, they can make you laugh, they can make you exult, and most important of all, they can make you care. And the number of people who are now writing to me, saying, 'This was so important to me. This has changed my life. This makes me feel like I belong. This makes me feel like I can cope. And it's let me sort of find myself. P. S. I hope you get to do Season Three.' is, is huge.

#good omens #neil gaiman #brian levine #neil the gould standard 2023 #interview #neil interview #videos #fun fact #gos2 #season 2 #2ep6 #s2 interview

[soulprompts]

𝐂𝐎𝐎𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒 (𝐏𝐓. 𝟏)

so, i absolutely love cooking! it's a passion of mine, i've been cooking for my family for years, people seem to find my food edible enough, and i recently found myself unable to cook at all for about a week, resulting in this little list coming into existence! i'm most likely going to make more of these, simply because the dynamics in a kitchen are varied as hell, right? we have romantic couples who cook together as a hobby, there's professional restaurant kitchen settings, baking oriented stuff, cooking with kids, there's a LOT to be done w the topic! so these are more for the chaos of someone who cannot boil an egg to save their life, vs. someone who enjoys cooking and is widely considered to be a dab hand at it! DO NOT ADD TO THIS LIST! but i do hope you enjoy it as much as i enjoyed making it!

" hey, hey, it's okay! we'll scrape off the burnt bits! "

" here, let me chop the onions, okay? you can dice the peppers and beef; just be sure to do them on separate boards, yeah? "

" you... you know the wine was for the stew, don't you?! "

" i swear to you, i don't know how this happened. i followed every single instruction, word for word! "

" taste this and tell me what you think! "

" oh my god... this is AMAZING! you should have your own cooking show! "

" you're kidding me! no way this whole thing is vegan! it's just too good! "

" so, um... i might have possibly accidentally tipped the entire jar of cayenne pepper into the soup... and by might have, i mean definitely. "

" i think i'm gonna have to ask you to leave the kitchen before you hurt somebody. "

" it says here to fold in the eggs... now, tell me, how exactly does one do that? "

" i might have over-exaggerated my cooking skills... and blown up the oven. "

" look, it sounds gross, but i'm telling you, when it's cooked right, it's the best thing ever! "

" i lied to my date and now they think i'm this amazing cook when i'm absolutely not, so please, can you spare me the lecture and just teach me how to cook? "

" woah, woah, woah... try chopping like this. yeah, that's it. you won't chop off your hand this way. "

" so, um... how exactly did it manage to stay frozen solid on the inside, but scorch to a crisp on the outside? "

" okay, remember when it asked for fifty grams of sugar? yeah. i accidentally used salt. "

" well, at least we know the smoke alarms work, right? "

" i ruined three knives, i have a roast chicken embedded in my ceiling, my oven officially needs therapy, and so do i! wanna call it quits and order a pizza? "

" i swear, you're one of those kitchen gods who can make ice cubes taste fantastic! "

" this is the fun part! take that tenderiser, and beat the absolute crap out of that pile of steaks. "

" i'm trying so hard not to judge you right now, but... onion goggles?! "

" how on earth did you get pasta sauce on the ceiling? "

" you know every single firefighter in town knows my name? and my top three favorite comfort foods to bring each time i trigger the fire alarm? yeah. that's my culinary reputation. "

" hey. it's okay. this isn't the first time i've burnt dinner. i have taco bell on speed dial. "

" sometimes recipes just don't work out. and that's okay! what matters is that you tried. "

" i didn't realize it was even possible to burn water! "

" ah... i see where you went wrong. the recipe uses paprika. this is chilli powder. "

" quit eating the batter, or we'll have no cupcakes at all! "

" no! no way. i'm not tasting anything cooked by you; not since your orange juice gave me food poisoning. "

" the last time i tried to cook, my pot roast ended up on fire and put a hole in my dry wall. i had to hang paintings over it until i could refill the crater. "

" no, you cannot cook chicken medium-rare. wanna know why? because that means it's raw. and you'll end up with food poisoning. and i'll have to tell you what a moron you were to even think that was an acceptable thing to do in the first place. "

" i thought you teaching me how to cook would be all soft and friendly, like the great british bake-off! but it's more like hell's kitchen. "

" no tears in my kitchen, thank you! "

" six fires in three hours is your personal best! only problem is, we're making fruit salad... "

" i understand that it's meant to be salted caramel, but... exactly how much salt did you use?! "

#roleplay meme #rp meme #dialogue prompts #sentence starters #writing prompts #roleplay prompt #roleplay prompts #rp prompts #food tw #food mention tw

[newkatzkafe2023]

What If demon Male ( Y/N ) have a personality like fluttershy ( from My little pony ).

Fluttershy love animals but scare of people plus super shy to the other people.

But when they angry is quite surprising cuz it's really rare to happen.

"So how well The Monkey king react"

I love my little pony my childhood!!!🤩🥰🤯

(Lmk Wukong) You were so adorable. He remember clear as day the first time you guys met. You were red as a cherry Holding A baby bunny in your arms. He quickly realized you were in a threat at all In fact he was like What he was seeing and wanted to know what what else you got. Every day he come to make his move with you. And every day you You would squeak and look like a cherry. You were also the kindest person Heck the kindest demon ever met. You are always worried about him and his injuries taking care of him and make a sure He eats and drink alot of water and tea. You were also very soft-spoken and always talks to him in a low tone. But you also know when to be firm with him. When he gets to reckless and that's when he'll listen to you sometimes. But 1 day MK and the rest got into a fight with some D. M star attacking the city again, but well, one of them almost stepped on Moe The cat iswhen you got involved

and you came and swinging Everybody's without there with jaws drop. Well , except for wukong , who had hearts in his eyes and dopey expression on his face He received severe brainstorming a way to repay you for protecting him, his successor and his friends, Although the way he's planning to do it won't be innocent at all. When you finally calm down and the demons were defeated. You apologize to everyone about your outbursts but MK and Mei We're astonished and fan girling all over the damn place with How awesome you were and how impressive your strength was. Later that day will come whispered something to you And And flew Off So flower fruit mountain what he said i'm leaving that up to you

(NR Wukong) Oh my gosh you're cuteness is what constantly turns him on. He remember the first time meeting you. You were so gentle with him and kindness seems to be your biggest quality. And he would find you around Taking care of the city's stray animals whether it'd be wrapping up their wounds or feeding them or sometimes just sitting on the curb and petting them. You are a very gentle soul But had the appearance of a gorilla who can snap Anyone like a twig. Man, he had to get you before somebody else. Does so he officially asked you out and that's when you're relationship began. And 1 day a bunch of thug demons were harassing some downtown people. But what pissed you off was the fact that they almost stepped on a rat While a reckless sweet bothering the children too that's when you Snapped and lost all your reason

Wow, everybody knows you really don't f*** around, do you? Especially with people's lives. And you may have forever captured the heart of a certain monkey King, who is having not so pure thoughts about you And whatever you're doing right now. He wonders if he can get you with that upset with him. You will destroy him like that in bed. When you finally calm down and make sure all of the kids and pets were all right , you went over to apologized to Wukong About ruining your outing together, but it appears. He was way into it more than you thought. And it's beckoning you to follow him home so you guys can Work off that excess Adrenaline.

(MKR Wukong) You got to be kidding him. The monk has sent him to find the most dangerous creature in this part of the forest And ask him for his aid in the journey. He Did not expect to find a Hulking figure that speaks Like a baby and freaks out at the smallest sounds. And despite your huge figure, you look like you couldn't even squish a bug without running for someone to go kill it for where are you. The monk is really pissing him off now. I mean he does that a lot but this, this is not fair. But Despite Wukong Not taking you seriously at all You are still kind and respectful to him. Always greeting him with a good morning or a how are you Or have a good day even as you pet whatever random forest animal You find or has come to you. I guess your manners won him over a little bit but he still doesn't think too much of you until one day The Monk got kidnapped by some demons again and Wukong Went Save him with you following him pursued as to offer support for Hurt. And hurt the heat was it was That your boyfriend got hurt but Almost named a poor squirrel that Got caught in the cross fire and that's when you snapped

Everybody watched beat the ass of every demon that disrespected you and your friend After a while you walked past the dead bodies of the demons who kidnap the monk and release him. You then reached your bloody hand towards the baby squirrel. That was caught in the cross fire. It was shaking and fear, but since that you were no threat. You picked it up and whispered towards it as you are finally coming back to your original Self. You turn To apologize to the Wukong To apologize for your outburst, but something was different about him. He was blushing, he was drooling a little bit and their was deep red hearts in his eyes. As he stared at you with a dark expression. You were worried That you may have scared him. But with the way he was purring now. I think you did the exact opposite as he pulled you by your shirt. Your uncontrolled fury had flipped a switch in his brain. And now he wants in on whatever you got.

(HIB Wukong) I feel he'll like your Personality. You are a lot more patient then he is that's for sure. And his Grouch moments doesn't seem to put you off if anything it motivates you to see what would make him feel better about the situations. So I guess he'll appreciate that. They also appreciate how you show Liuer How to be respectful and gentle to animals? And how you care very much for nature as well , and even provide for injured or Sick animals Until one day some stray demands were Hunting for animals and harassing the villagers When one of them almost hurt Silly Girl and a Butterfly That's when you snapped entirely you quickly grab silly girl and put her next to Liuer Before going absolutely insane on those demons.

Everybody's jaw dropped as they watched. You lay ways to all those demons that attacked the children and the animal. You finally calm down the second demons. Decided to run away from you and you went back to your shy soft-spoken self. As you apologize to everyone for your outburst. But everybody seemed to be cheering and impressed by your Unusual There was even a little mini party as a thanks for helping When everybody went home that's Wukong Approach you. And then he was making a bunch of very steamy promises as he pulls you towards Cave.

(Netflix Wukong) OMG You guys have the cutest relationship anybody what he has ever seen. Like it is so adorable that people wanna throw up and be envious what you guys have. You guys took forever to give a hug to the other with out Blushing on both ends, don't even get me started on the First Kiss. It is so painfully cute. Your kindness was a big advantage on winning him over and a listening ear for him when he's Having a bad day and do you appreciate when you offer cuddles to distress. You were always there to offer him comfortand he appreciates that , but one day you actually got to see the cause of his discomfort. Some demons Invaders were not taking him seriously at all in fact they were bullying him Engranted he was fighting the more but You yourself can hear his Stone Heart breaking from a bunch of miles from Here. And that's when you lost it

You had no problem striking the fear of God into those demons. I think some of them might be dead. But everybody saw what you can clearly do when provoked and enraged. The demons quickly retreat at knowing better than to try and stay and fight you. And everybody in the village stood there in shock Before breaking out into a cheer's and that's When you snapped out of it and turned back into your shy. Cherry soft spoken self Quickly apologizing for the outbursts to both the villagers. When you got back from the town square, you were ready to apologize to Wukong about your uncontrollable anger. Until he looked at you strangely. There was a blush on his face and hearts in his eyes ,He never seen you like that before, How savaged how unhinged how, How sexy. He wants a taste of that rage in your body and he's gonna get it now.

FEEL FREE TO REBLOG😇 👍

#monkey king netflix #monkey king reborn #monkey king x reader #nezha reborn #lmk monkey king #monkey king hero is back #x male y/n #top male reader

[rubykgrant]

AU where after the big final fight, Tucker keeps the memories of the Fragments; because these aren't the "originals", without Epsilon as the core memory, they don't remember much about who they came from/past information in a personal sense. They are aware of the "facts", they are memories of the AI Fragments, they came from the Alpha, etc. It just doesn't resonate with them, because they didn't literally experience everything during Project Freelancer, or after the fact. They still represent aspects like Logic, Trust, and so on, but they aren't entirely the "same" as before... but you know they feel the strongest connection to? Who they are all safest with? Tucker.

As far as they are concerned, this is their Guy. They love him. They can tell he feels sad, he misses somebody, and he doesn't know how to say it. They try to talk and help, and at first Tucker tries to act like he doesn't care... but then he remembers how much he had tried to reject Epsilon after losing the Church he knew, then becoming friends with Epsilon anyway, and now he's lost another Church. Maybe the memories of the Fragments aren't exactly similar, but they are still part of who Church was. He still has them.

Tucker starts spending time with them, sometimes talking one-on-one, sometimes with the whole group of little hologram dudes. He introduces them to his other friends, and he tells them about Church. Without Epsilon, they aren't as "powerful" in terms of AI abilities (unable to operate too much tech at once, or give a lot of extreme boosts to strength/speed), but they still help with plans/calculations, help with certain kinds of equipment, and add a little more energy to armor (Tucker still decides not to wear the Meta-themed armor... it just feels a little awkward).

Later, when the problems with Temple happen, he tries to kill the AI with another EMP, and Tucker has to tell them to escape... they hitch a ride with Lopez's head (since they can't piggy-back on Omega's ability to travel by radio signals), and after Locus picks them up, they they reunite with Grif. When he does his big rescue, Grif again shows up as a distraction, seemingly with no help at all... but once he's back with his friends, he reveals he has the Fragments, and also brought a Locus! Oh, and on the way over, he and Locus picked up a device that can shield the Fragments from an EMP if Temple is still being an a-hole like that.

They finally get to come back to Tucker! They are also there when the time-window opens on past-Church... and they ask Tucker- "Is that him?", and they realize; this is as close as they can all get to being "together" again. When time-travel shenanigans happen, Tucker has a whole different theme going on. He keeps trying to change things in the past so he can somehow keep Junior, but it always goes wrong somehow... he just REALLY wants to find away so he can have his son AND the little hologram guys that live in his head al together (eventually, the Fragments help him see that he's feeling guilty, because as much as he loves Junior, he's been a bit of an absent father. it took a while for this to really hit him, because he doesn't always want to admit when he has emotional pain, but Tucker has actually grown, and changed, and that means caring MORE than he used to. he can't un-do in the past, he needs to fix things NOW, so they can have a better future as a family... because they really want to meet Junior too! they already love him, because Tucker loves him, and they love Tucker~)

#red vs blue #rvb

[vital-information]

"What I really realized about some of my ideas of freedom is that they were like neoliberal fantasies. It's like, 'let me choose everything,' 'leave me alone all the time,' 'don't put any demands on me--only I will make demands.' It's a dark vision, and it really took me a long time to understand that the things that I'd been taught by the capitalist 80s to believe were unfreedom are freedom. Having people who mean something to you, who you have duties towards, is not unfreedom; it's freedom. It's actual existence...To be free of meaning is not freedom. Now my life is full of meanings, sometimes they're difficult, sometimes they're painful, but it's absolutely full. I don't think children are the only root to that kind of meaning, but I absolutely think you have to find something other than yourself to focus on.

...

When I meet a lot of other lady writers, I know, when we first had children we spent our whole time talking about how we were somehow trapped or imprisoned, but that's the most superficial idea of what a relation with other people is like. Now I consider all my relations--my friends, my dog, my husband, my family--as things that liberate me from myself. They are absolute freedom to me, and without them I would just be completely lost. A dog can do this for you, a cat can do this for you, going down to the larder and volunteering can do this for you. You just need to be among other people at some point, because otherwise it's hard to find in yourself (or for me anyway) a reason to go on.

...

It's a question of what does that freedom involve. I notice with the 'children thing' is that, at least in my own case, you spend so long battling to try and retain your own space. Then, when you look at what you've battled for, it isn't very much. These children are about to grow and disappear so quickly that you're going to get what you want sooner than you can imagine. All of these things are so out of sync with our capitalist discourse which is about 'you do you,' 'get what you want.' When it comes into conflict with this other thing, I guess we have in our heads, 'Am I become some kind of Victorian or old-fashioned person who is domesticated and a traditional woman.' We fight against that as if there's no liberating version of being connected to other people. That is the triumph of capitalism: it convinces you that it's just you and the shops, it's just you and the phone, and that's all that there is. Where there is an older vision of solidarity between people, within families, between children, between men and men, women and women, men and women--a community that is freeing. It's not a trap. It's like the only thing that brings joy.

...

I also think that's one of the tricks of the patriarchy: it makes you feel that all the traditional, supposedly feminine arts are humiliating. But why are they humiliating? In my house, it was the other way around. My dad was the cook. My dad was the cleaner. My mom was working a lot. My dad did a lot of those things. They're not humiliating when a man does them, apparently--[Interviewer Annie Macmanus: They're noble.]--He's been dead a long time, and sometimes, I can think of a meal he used to cook me, and it will bring me to tears. It was an art. And it was nourishing. And it was beautiful. And I'm so grateful. It was an act of love. I can't cook like that. My children will never have those memories of me. But, it's not nothing. It's the art of living. If it was a supposedly traditionally male art, you'd be getting awards for it...So I really resent the idea that these things are humiliating, even when I am picking up pants off the stairs, I think, 'I'm doing something for somebody else.' There is something noble in that, I hope.

Of course, the frustration is real. I think men suffer it just as much as women. I think to the credit of many contemporary men, they are doing absolutely the same amount of work...So the frustration is no longer purely female, which might be one of the triumphs of feminism. It's now something that lots of people have to experience, men and women. It's not that it's not real, but I have come to realize that [the frustration]'s not entirely debilitating. When it comes to art making, frustration can be really useful. Not being able to write, having your hands tied for part of every day, when I get down to my desk, I can't wait. Whereas when I was twenty-seven, I do remember embarrassingly moping around saying, 'Oh, I've got writer's block,' 'Oh, I've got ennui.' That to me now is like a comic thing, a ridiculous person who can't be taken seriously."

Zadie Smith, interviewed on Changes with Annie Macmanus

#zadie smith #annie macmanus #domesticity #housekeeping #hestia #to build a home

[drunkoffsmoke]

Hey do you have any platonic Headcanons for Reiner,Mikasa,and Armin?

a/n: RAGHHH IM SO SORRY I DIDNT SEE THE REQUEST EARLIER!!!! I DIDNT GET A NOTIF— anyways brother elliot shall provide once more >:) (this is like season 1-2 so no spoilers).

pairing: Reiner x gn!reader ; Mikasa x gn!reader ; Armin x gn!reader.

fandom: AOT (Attack on Titan).

genre: Fluff, headcanons.

! WARNING ! : N/A. (it's sfw pookies)

─────────────────────────────

Reiner Braun.

Man is FLEXING his ass off when you're around.

Anything he thinks you might like? He's showing it off. Whether it be leadership skills (which he barely has) or muscles (okay he does have those), HE'S SHOWING OFF.

He likes to get your attention through random stuff such as constant poking or annoying you.

Since you're close to Reiner, he talks a lot about you to his friends Annie and Bertholdt.

Bertie likes you, although Annie keeps her distance. It's not that she doesn't like you, it's just that she's a loner and wants to keep it that way.

He probably follows you around during missions to make sure you're safe.

He's like a golden retriever off the field, but on the field, he's the most protective mf you can ever meet.

The second a titan reaches out to grab you, boom, he's slicing the titan's hand off.

If the mission proves to be easy with few dangers nearby, you and him have little contest like 'who kills more titans' and such.

He doesn't want to admit it, but he lets you win almost every time, blaming it on his gear for being this rusty.

You usually stay up past your curfew and watch the stars.

During this time you don't talk a lot, merely enjoying eachothers presence.

He's usually acting like an older brother, but sometimes you have to be the mature one and step in between fights he's about to start (somebody looked at you wrong).

Super supportive, literally the main cheerleader as you kick somebody's ass during training.

You and him have sparring sessions and he teaches you useful information about hand-to-hand combat!

He'd be a good teacher if he wouldn't be teasing you so much.

"Look at you, you're so fragile, you could never take me down!" were his last words before you kicked his ass.

He was shocked, he didn't expect you to ACTUALLY win the fight.

Nevertheless he's proud of you >:)

Mikasa Ackerman.

She firstly heard about you through Armin, telling her and Eren about how he made a new friend.

She was skeptical at first, thinking you were actually someone mean who just tried to get advantage of her blond friend.

But upon meeting you, she quickly changed her mind.

Mikasa is usually quiet and is always following Eren around, so the two of you don't really get some time alone.

But Armin told you she considers you a good friend of hers!

You're a feisty fellow, so she has to make sure you don't get in trouble aswell (as if she needed another Eren to take care of).

Being the mother friend of the group, she has to make sure nobody gets hurt, so she keeps you, Armin and Eren close when in missions.

Always on alert, she's ready to lash out at anyone who does you wrong.

One time a rookie spoke lowly of you behind your back. Mikasa found out, said she was going to take care of it, and you never saw that rookie again.

It's scary what she's willing to do to protect her loved ones, but it only makes you realize she is a good person deep down.

Honestly you're closer to Armin than her, but she doesn't mind that, since it gives her and Eren some alone time (nothing happens in this time, but she likes it when it's just her and Eren hanging around).

Not really good with praises, but will congratulate you after missions, saying you did a good job before walking away.

Armin Arlert.

If you're close to him, you're ultimately close to Eren and Mikasa too.

He likes to talk to you about facts he's learned from books and he's genuinely happy you listen to him (unlike a certain SOMEONE who has brown hair and teal eyes glares at Eren).

You had to rescue him a couple times from bullies. Because of that, you tried to teach him how to defend himself, although he believed this wasn't the right way.

He probably shows off every new item he found. It's mainly cool rocks or shards of glass bottles, but the way he's presenting them makes the trinkets look like some ancient relics.

He is a great listener and offers good advice where he can.

Most of the time he's shy so you have to speak up for him, he's really thankful you do that for him.

Armin's parents like you a lot, especially since you help out Armin so much. They tell you stuff about Armin which makes him embarrassed and blush.

You know the song 'To the Bone' about Undertale?

Well there's this one part saying "I am the Mastermind, he's my accomplice!"

Yeah that's Armin, and you're "You're still alive because I made a promise."

You guys are a great duo, fighting off titans together (although you end up eliminating most of them since Armin is a bit rusty on his skills, he's learning tho!) during missions and such.

He probably tells you all about the wonders of the ocean he's learned from his little book, it gets you as excited as him and it makes him feel as if he doesn't just let the information fall on deaf ears.

He thinks you're a strong, independent person and admires you for that.

He's the orange cat friend and you're the doberman friend. You can't convince me otherwise.

#aot #aot x reader #x male reader #x gn reader #reiner braun #reiner x reader #mikasa ackerman #mikasa x reader #armin arlert #armin x reader #headcanons #fluff #attack on titan

[marshmallowprotection]

Whenever I have a massive panic attack out of the blue, the only thing I can think about with my life by Saeran's side is how fast he'd pick up on the signs, likely far faster than I'd be able to since I hardly notice I'm lost until I feel the sensation and creeping dread, and a thought like that cools me down when I'm at my wit's ends. It's such a small thing but the perspective helps.

His gentle hands fast as a lightning bolt to keep me from trying to make sure I haven't lost feeling in different spots forever, a calm voice whispering in my ear to remind me to pace my breathing when it feels like my air isn't coming in fast enough, and a rumble of his heartbeat to bring me back down just as soon as the tunnel vision fades away. It's the thought of his gentleness in the name of the worst terror someone could ever feel without a rhyme or reason to explain why.

It's the thought of knowing that he wouldn't move from that very spot until I was able to properly communicate what was happening to me and what I needed him to do for me, if at all. It's knowing that he would understand more than anybody else what to do and after a lifetime of people not understanding and not bothering to learn how to do the right thing even if they're close to me, the thought is an immense comfort.

Saeran very well knows what it feels like to be overcome with something that you can't control. He spent so many nights in a lonely room working himself into a frenzy until he felt like he was going to be sick. He... didn't have anybody back then to be there for him the way he needed. He didn't have anybody to explain what was happening whenever he woke up with terror.

Does anybody ever wonder if he thought that was just a normal experience? What is that like for him when he discovers that it's not normal for him to feel miserable? Sure, he knows that he doesn't have to feel angry all the time, but does he know that he shouldn't feel constant dread or paranoia all the time?

Does he know what it means to have a panic attack? Does he know what it means to have anxiety?

He knows the feelings as they are shown time and time again as his thoughts and experiences, but did anybody teach him the words?

I think about it, sometimes. I think about how Saeran wasn't able to know there was a word for what he was experiencing with his mind until he escaped from Mint Eye. There's a lot of things he doesn't know about the world, but one thing is for certain, I can imagine the unadulterated relief that he must feel on the inside to be validated. For him to be told that what he's experiencing has a name, and there are things he can do to make it better, by his side, I think I would weep with him.

Being able to have language like that is undescribable. Some people may not understand how crucial it is for some people to have the language to communicate what they're going through, but when you are somebody like Saeran who has been constantly robbed of his autonomy, him being able to describe what he's going through and what he needs is a godsend. It may take him a while to learn what he wants or needs when he's struggling, but having the ability to communicate it at all is the important part.

Sometimes, all you want is for somebody to substantiate your feelings. You just want somebody to say that your feelings are valid and that what you're experiencing is real. No derailments. No cover-ups. You want to be told that what you're feeling is real and it's going to be okay. You don't want anybody to tell you that what you're feeling is fake and that you need to get over yourself. Saeran is the kind of person who would understand what you're feeling and want to do right by you, no matter what you need.

Why? I think that's simple, it's because you're always there for him and you want to do right by him. You helped him realize that he wants to help people as much as he wants to help himself, and you are the most important one he wants to cherish. There's something Beautiful about being able to gently coax each other through a panic attack. There is something about being in perfect Harmony and understanding what your partner needs, and even if it's not perfect, the fact that you try is what matters.

That's all it takes to feel like the storm will die before it becomes consuming to cry over and there will be no goddamn victory run for the terror that isn't welcome to stay in my head.

"My love, I understand that you may not be able to think clearly right now, but I want you to know that I'm not going anywhere. I will stay right here by your side as long as you need me. If you want me to leave, I'll leave until you need me to come back. But I want you to know that no matter what, I've got you. My heart will protect you from any fear you have. I've got you and I'll never let go. I've got you. I've got you, I promise."

#tw panic attack #tw panic mention #mod kait #choi saeran #saeran choi #saeray #ge saeran #mystic messenger #mysme #mysticmessenger #character analysis

[the-rockit]

More thoughts skim read the Mr. Antolini chapter gonna talk about things I noted.

1: I don't remember him being so young? He's only a bit older than D.B(so maybe like late 20s/early 30s?)

2: obviously most likely exaggerated but Holden says his wife is 60 years older than him. Even if in reality it's a third of that, that's still quite a large age gap. They don't show their affection publicly of course but given what happens later, maybe he is with her *because* she's getting up there and age and *because* she's more vulnerable

3: A few times Holden notes how similar Mr. Antolini and D.B are throughout the chapter:

"He always said things that way. Sometimes it amused mr a lot and sometimes it didn't l. He sort of did it a little bit *too* much I don't mean he wasn't witty or anything--he was--but sometim3s it gets on your nerves when somebody's *always* saying things like 'SO you and Pencey are no longer one.' D.B does it too much sometimes, too."

And, I don't think it's true like at all, but it got me wondering if D.B did similar things to Holden since he makes comparisons between the two. Again I don't think it happened and I'm looking too deep into things, but just something of note.

4: dawggggg why tfffff would Mr. Antolini *keep* drinking when he literally *knew* Holden was coming over?? Like bro called him n everything and my man is still getting drunk and shit man

5: "'Thanks a lot, sir. You and Mrs. Antolini really saved my life tonight'" not only does this quote destroy me because of what happens with Mr. Antolini "admiring" him, but also for Mr. Antolini to hear that and probably realize the impact of it since at this point, he's the closest friend and probably longest lasting friend Holden has, and *still* chooses to pull that shit? Disgusting. Disgusting already obviously, but to know somebody like Holden is so vulnerable and still do that shit? Just urghhh

6: Final thoughts: yea Mr. Antolini still a creep. He did give some solid advice and it's clear he *does* care about Holden but just the word, 'admiring' is just ughhh like if he wasn't being a degenerate there's other words to use because I can understand if he saw him as a son or some shit and was just rubbing his head and looking down at him with a familial love or some shit but just the fact he *said* admiring 1: the word admiring, to me, has a specific romantic connation and 2: just the fact he said it out loud and sees nothing wrong with his actions is...interesting. Plus, if it was familial, why does he want him to stay so badly? Like..I kind of get it in the sense that he's yk 16 doesn't really have much of a place *to* go but..idk just the fact he tells him to get back to bed, presumably so he can keep "admiring" him is just...disgusting and gut wrenching. Plus this added with the fact he conveniently "forgot" to give pajamas and the fact Holden gets unreasonably and unexplainably tired after drinking coffee is just...disgusting. That's the only word for it, really.

#mr. antolini #holden caulfield #the catcher in the rye #the catcher in the rye fandom in 2024 whre u at?? #thoughts

[likegoldintheair]

Hey! Promise I’m not coming into your ask box to cause trouble, I just saw your most recent post and that you were wanting to talk about it so I wanted to get your perspective on my thoughts about this s7 spec. It is a lovely thought, Buck getting reassurance from Eddie of his importance in his and Chris’ lives, and I’m not saying it shouldn’t happen (probably will based on the Shoulder pic we saw). However…it’s been done before. What I would find way more interesting than Buck being told he matters again and that being that is Buck actually realizing and believing it, maybe from a call or some other activity. And I’d really like that to be it lol, instead of it being recycled again in a future episode. People like Eddie, Maddie, and even Chris can tell him how much he means to them until the cows come home, but Buck needs to start believing it himself. IRL, ppl get tired of having to repeat themselves to somebody who is chronically insecure but not doing anything to change it (not saying Buck is, but he sure is portrayed that way in fanfiction). So I’m hoping the writers empower Buck to look in the mirror and see himself as the good flawed human he is rather than a massive fuck-up.

(and maybe there are scenes in the future where Buck is reassuring the Diaz boys how important they are to him, and they’re not an inconvenience no matter what’s going on in his life because that would feel realistic too. I know Buck shows them throw his actions, but it would be delicious to see it actually said onscreen)

Anyway, no pressure replying!

hi!

i am completely with you on the whole rehashing the whole eddie/chris/maddie reassuring buck of it all, and how it's been done before (because it has, a lot - like i said in that post, we've seen eddie tell buck this over and over again, but he just doesn't get it). i do think that we will get to see those kind of scenes/moments again though, especially if that one buck and eddie pic is anything to go by.

what i'm hoping for is that this time it'll lead to buck actually, conciously listening and taking in what it means and, y'know, finally stop questioning it or having this underlying fear of being abandoned etc. i don't think any one of those three conversations will magically solve anything for buck (and it's not on maddie, eddie or chris to solve it to begin with, even though their support is important - like you said, buck needs to come to this conclusion himself), but i think, depending on the context, the conversations can work as a final push to have him realize that his place is permanent.

it'll just get old and boring to see him have a breakdown again over the same thing and have eddie tell him again and again that he's important, and then rinse and repeat a few episodes later. he truly needs to sit down and deal with his shit, so to speak. i would love for his therapist to make a comeback, so that he can deal with his fears with professional help. really get to the nitty gritty of it all. that'd be 10/10 in my book, tbh.

and yes, fully agree on having buck actually tell both eddie and chris what they mean to him, and what an essential part they are in his life. i think they'd need to hear it, too, even if he does, as you said, show it a lot. just hearing it is nice too, sometimes, y'know.

anyways, hopefully this is somewhat coherent, i'm answering whilst making dinner, so it might be a bit all over the place. but thank you for sending me this!

#ask #buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #tagging this so you can find the reply #because idk if you're following or not

[cherrys-side-bitch]

That scenario you did about the jojos with an s/o that scares the sh*t out of people was funny. Can I rq it but with mista, narancia and fugo?

Of course! I’m happy that you liked it!

┉ˏ͛ ༝̩̩̥͙ ⑅͚˚　　 ҉　　⑅͚˚ ͛༝̩̩̥͙ ˎ┉

𝕄𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕒, ℕ𝕒𝕣𝕒𝕟𝕔𝕚𝕒, 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝔽𝕦𝕘𝕠 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕒𝕟 𝕌𝕟𝕤𝕖𝕥𝕥𝕝𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕊/𝕆

gn! reader

Warning: Spoilers for the ending of Part 5

Yo Mista can't do this-

Brags about being a mafioso and being scared of nothing but as soon as they appear behind him he's gone. Or pointing a gun at them in fear.

Either one is just as likely.

Once he realized it's them he calms down and apologizes

He didn't know that they were under the bed so when he saw them just crawl out from under it was like something out of a horror movie.

Legit surprised Pikachu face when he finds out that they never intend to scare anybody.

Finds their love for the occult odd but as long as they don't bring it near him he's fine. It freaks him out.

Bible in hand when they start bending backward like some kind of demon. He's watched enough horror movies to know where this is going.

All jokes aside he doesn't want them to end up hurting themselves or somebody else. Unless they have a reason to harm the other person, then it's fair game.

Unsettled when they practically predicted everyone’s deaths, vaguely stating that something will happen hours before each incident.

He decides not to bring it up since the whispers that fill the room when the two are alone tend to agitate him.

┉ˏ͛ ༝̩̩̥͙ ⑅͚˚　　 ҉　　⑅͚˚ ͛༝̩̩̥͙ ˎ┉

When they start their rants about the occult he's very interested! He wants to learn all about their interests even if they are unconventional. He does get a bit freaked out sometimes but finds it fascinating.

He always sees the occult portrayed in the average tv way as most things are portrayed so seeing it's not that bad is pretty cool.

As much as he enjoys learning about it he tends to have a short attention span so he tends to zone out/get distracted quite a bit.

Similar to Joseph he finds their scary, mysterious vibe as part of their charm.

Happy that they can be them without worrying too much about what others think.

Sometimes forgets that there are a lot of flags within the whole scary person that scares people thing they have going on.

Mainly in the sense, that he doesn't mind that they sort of just appear instead of him hearing them walk up, the strange nearly inhuman bending they can do with their body, etc.

He just thinks they are cool and occasionally scary.

As they reach Sardinia they said something “this time coming a bit too soon”

He's put on edge when they didn't act surprised by Abbacchio’s death

┉ˏ͛ ༝̩̩̥͙ ⑅͚˚　　 ҉　　⑅͚˚ ͛༝̩̩̥͙ ˎ┉

Will scold them when they end up appearing out of nowhere. They sort of don't understand but try to refrain from doing it, it doesn't work.

He assumes they just have very quiet footsteps at first until they were walking in heavy boots, being able to hear them normally when they walk. That's when it truly started to disturb him.

Usually, he would never do a sort of investigation when it's something like this, so he simply asks them if they just walk very quietly or if they are purposely trying to scare him. When they ask what he means he gets a bit irritated but drops it.

He takes this as a hint to stay on guard more often because if he's getting scared this often by his s/o, who isn't trying to, he doesn't know how he might respond on a mission.

Appreciates that they have their hobbies but he didn't expect studying the occult to be one of them. Although he'd be lying if he said he wasn't interested.

The whispers that surround them are probably the biggest flag that something is wrong. Either for himself or them.

Because either he's going insane or what he's dating isn't human, and he'd rather not think of the latter.

He tells himself that he needs to get his eyes checked because shadows at a relative standstill should not be moving like that.

When Bruno gets back on the boat after everything with the incident they muttered, “Well, I wasn't expecting this but I suppose this outcome for preferable..”

Fugo simply thought they were just talking about him possibly dying from the boss.

┉ˏ͛ ༝̩̩̥͙ ⑅͚˚　　 ҉　　⑅͚˚ ͛༝̩̩̥͙ ˎ┉

#jjba headcanons #jjba x gn reader #pannacotta fugo x reader #narancia ghirga x reader #guido mista x reader #jjba narancia headcanons #pannacotta fugo headcanons #guido mista headcanons #jojo’s bizarre adventure #guido mista #pannacotta fugo #narancia ghirga #unsettling!s/o #x gn reader #writing #request

[thedancingcockroach134]

Human Tito x Human Ozzie pt. 6

(How many times do I have to say this? Not for kids. This involves r@pe.)

Society is pretty hard these days for the people in this asylum. Ever since Ozzie came to this place, he's been touched, told, forcefully done by many people in sexual ways. Tito never knew about this. It wasn't just 2 people that he mostly avoided, it was a lot more. The orderlies and doctors never do anything about it since they think of them as "playing around!" Ozzie was walking in the hallways until he bumped into a group of guys, "Hey! What the fuck?!" Ozzie got scared and he couldn't process a word. "Wait..." one of them metioned, "Aren't you that faggot that's also gay?!" Ozzie couldn't do anything but just nod. Another dude joined in, "Well, if this bitch likes a dick so much inside him, we should do the same..." Ozzie got scared and ran off, "Get back over here, you slut!" Ozzie was panicking and tripped onto the floor. One of then grab him up aggressively from the front of his shirt, "Now, you do as all 5 of us say! We just need something for us to play with! You look like the prefect toy... Besides, you do have a nice body... You look pretty cute too, but your dumb ass boyfriend ain't here to help you, now, is he?" Ozzie finds a response, "H-How...am I...a t-toy?" The guy starts to get angry, "I mean a sex toy, you fucking bitch! If you're good and fine with your boyfriend putting his dick inside you, you should be fine with us doing the same damn thing!" A few minutes later, Dr. Fine had realized that Ozzie missed a session. She went to her office to make sure if he had a day off of session therapy, but he didn't. Dr. Fine went on her walkie talkie, "Hey, uhm, we have a code orange. A patient has skipped their sessions. Oswald Anderson, number 398. Can we get a search?" Somebody answered, "What a coincidence, I was just about to ask the same thing! But, instead it's 5 other guys! Sebastian landers, Eric Mason, Joseph Onles, Damian Lewis, and Raphael Lorenzo." Dr. Fine gasp, "We gotta do a search!" An orderlie responded, "We're searching right now." Dr. Fine walked in the hallway to do the same thing, but the janitor closet had been locked. It's never locked, but she heard somebody banging on the door. She decided to unlock it, seeing Ozzie on the floor, shaking, bruised, crying, nobody else was in there, but him. Ozzie found a response, "T-T-They...hurt me! T-They..put i-it in...me a-agressivly!" He was crying as Dr. Fine helped him up. She went on her walkie talkie "I found Ozzie! He prefers to be called that, by the way. We need orderlies and the nurse! Whatever you do, just let everyone else go to lunch early! If they ask questions, don't answer them! Just make sure every patient goes to lunch early!" At lunch, the Crazy 8 table noticed one person missing, Jerry notices first, "Hey, we know that sometimes Ozzie sits here and sometimes doesn't, but he isn't sitting at the table over there like he always does." Sara response, "He? I figured out that Ozzie's trans-" Cammy covers Sara's mouth, "What Sara meant to say was that she hasn't seen Ozzie anywhere either. She also meant to say is that she is confused on why everyone came to lunch at fucking 10:15." Tito looks at Jerry in a pissed off way. "I-Imma just go to the nurse, I have a headache and a stomachache...I feel like puking..." Jerry eyes go wide, "Oh, fuck!" Tito pukes on the floor. "Fuck, fuck, fuck! Wanna come with me to take him to the nurse?!" Cammy asked, "Sure, of course! But we have to wait until he's done...puking." Sara responded. Tito kept puking on the floor while the table was covering their eyes or looking down. A few minutes later, they took him to the nurse with a trash bin from the hallway. "Sorry to interrupt, Dr. Fine, but our dear friend had made a mouth spill on the dear floor in our dear cafeter-" Cammy slaps Sara, "Shut the fuck up! Uhm, Tito actually puked on the floor, we told the janitor to clean it up and I think he...needs to throw up again....We did bring the trash bin from the hallway!" Dr. Fine nods, " We have a patient right now that's been raped, just sit here."

Sara worries, "W-Who? Is this why we were all sent to lunch early?"Dr. Fine looks at Ozzie. Sara gasped, "O-Ozzie! Tito, your girl- I mean, boyfriends here!" Once Tito had heard the word "raped" and saw Ozzie, he didn't care if he had puke on his clothing, he went up to Ozzie. "Ozzie, amor, what happened?! W-Who did this to you! Tell me! Who touched you?!" Ozzie looks down and starts crying, "T-They put...their thing in...Ozzie like we did... i-in the library! O-Ozzie no f-feel...too good!" Tito gets up looks at Dr. Fine, with anger and frustration. "Señorita, who did this to him?! He isn't a virgin, but who raped him?! T-This is my boyfriend, for crying the fuck out loud!" Cammy starts tearing up and Sara cried. Dr. Fine looks at Tito, "Elíaz, calm down-" Tito gets furious, "Don't call me by my fucking real name! Answer my damn question, who the fuck touched him, who the fuck had sex with him, who the fuck raped him?!" Dr. Fine look at him, "W-We don't know!" She didn't want him to know since she actually figured out. Nobody else knew, but her. She just wanted to make the asylum look good. She got suspicious on the 5 other guys who skipped a session too.Tito looked at Ozzie with tears, "Don't worry, I'm here! It's gonna be okay! Did you not like what they did? Did they make you feel uncomfortable? Tell me!" Ozzie looked at Tito as he was crying too, "I-I didn't want...no touchie! They touch...O-Ozzie! T-They put...it in me roughly!" Tito felt guilt inside him as Dr. Fine also started to have tears, "I-I'm sorry that I wasn't there! ¡Lo siento, amor!" Tito looks at Ozzie's neck, seeing that they left a hickey on him, multiple. Dr. Fine tried to respond, "Elíaz, you have to change your clothes. I-It has puke on it-" Tito looked at Dr. Fine, " Don't call me that! Do you even see that he has multiple hickeys on his neck? He even has bruises everywhere! Dr. Fine started to get serious, "Elíaz, don't start to get aggressive-" Tito starts getting a lot more anger inside him, "Aggressive?! Do you even know how serious their actions fucking did to him?! Even if I had sex with him, I wouldn't do all that shit! Giving him bruises, multiple hickeys, traumatizing him! Hell no! He's autistic!" Dr. Fine shakes, "W-We did check him up, just go sit over there until we can check you too-" Tito starts to try and tackle Dr. Fine while Sara and Cammy grab him, "Tito, no! Stop it! Calm the fuck down! I know that Ozzie isn't okay right now, but we'll make sure that he isn't hurt anymore!" Cammy tried to tell Tito, but he still kept trying to attack Dr. Fine, "Orderlies! Help!" The orderlies started coming and grabbed Tito, "Just sit him over there until me and the nurse could check him next! We have a raped victim right now!" Sara started to cry even more while Ozzie cried the most. Dr. Fine and Cammy tried to relax Ozzie, but it didn't work. Ozzie was there, traumatized...

(pt. 7 coming soon 😭🙏)

#im dumb #willy's wonderland #lgbtq #willy's wonderland comic #tito turtle #ozzie ostrich #gay #transgender #:( #Siren Sara #cammy chameleon

[mydigitaldiaryz]

Entry Log #6

Lots of this is so offtopic, I just keep ranting about everything all at once.

TW; everything 😭

I've given up with my life. I don't care anymore. I can't bring myself to. Nothing is good about it, I can't enjoy it anymore. Everytime I remember that I am alive and breathing, it gives me this unfathomable guilt and distress that I have to keep on going, keep on breathing and moving on with life. I know time is a beautiful thing, it really is, but it hurts to realize it will keep on moving. The clock will always tick, and there's nothing stopping it. The time will pass anyways. And with each second, I'm wasting it. Spending every single minute of my life rotting away, every day I can feel myself getting older and more miserable and I just wish all of it would stop.

My life is nowhere near valuable, and I have wholeheartedly accepted that at this point. I just wish I could go back, take everything back and go live my life again, prove that this time, with this second chance, maybe I could truly do something better than whatever the hell I have going on right now. I wish I could know who the teen I could have been. I wish I could be them. They would've had such a bright future ahead of them. But they don't. And it breaks my heart to know that they never will.

I have no more cares for any of my relationships at this point. I wish they could realize that I really don't care, and we don't have much of a meaningful connection whatsoever. They don't realize how easy it is for me to ignore them, go months without having human interaction, forgetting so quickly about them. I understand how terrible that makes me of as a person, but I don't care anymore. Hell, it almost gives me some sort of happiness too. Pushing others away, even though people (probably) like to be around me. It gives me that sort of wanted feeling. A feeling I barely get to feel. And I love it. Maybe it's because it just makes me feel loved, knowing that my absence really does affect somebody. It makes me happy knowing that they're hurting without me.

I don't know why I enjoy hurting people too. It's some selfish behavior I inflict onto people, I try not to, but sometimes I'll slip up and end up hurting a person, even a loved one. It's always mentally. I enjoy mentally toying with somebody for my own gain. A means of entertainment. I'll lead somebody on, getting their attention and giving them such loving and kind actions, the most affection they probably have recieved in the whole life. I give them a person who they'd know is there for them, makes them all seen, heard, and loved. Then I'll go right ahead and slip right through their fingers, making them chase for me. Or, I'll be outright rude to them. Devastate them, causing so much inconviences and genuinely evil.

I don't know why I do what I do. And I don't really have any regrets on doing so. My actions are completely disgusting, but I can't help but feel apathetic. Of course, whenever I lead somebody on, I do (atleast most of it) mean all my loving things I give the person. I think it's because I just want to feel, again, needed. Give that person a special feeling of attention that they wouldn't ever get from somebody else. Be the one that makes them feel loved the most from and force them to chase after me. When I get bored of the chase, I'll probably come back to them and do it all over again. Or when they give up, it makes me bitter. Probably because it didn't go my way and pisses me off.

Remember, I've fixed my ways, and I do not do these types of things anymore, I'm a changed person and I refuse to do that to somebody now. I make sure of it, too. I don't leave now or lead somebody on, I make sure I mean all of it and prove it to them that I won't leave them. I won't make them chase after me.

But it's not like me being fixed now is going to do anything. I'm probably going to sever these silly relationships soon enough. I'm losing everything again after I tried so hard to keep it all together. All my motivation is running thin and there's really nothing else for me to do anymore. Plus, I'm sure nobody actually likes me anymore, (as if they ever did, lol).

Honestly, I have to catch a grip. My life is so pointless and it's not worth it anymore to keep on pretending that something is going to change. Because it never will. This feeling will never pass as I had originally hoped. These thoughts will never go away, my mind will never truly be at peace, and there's no worth of me being here. I hate knowing this. I hate it all. But most importantly, I really, really hate myself. I should just end it all soon enough.

#mydigitaldiaryz #hate myself #i wanna kms #i want to disappear #mental illness #mental instability #tw self destructive behavior #tw self destruction #tw sui ideation #su1c1d10 #su1cide #su1c1d4l #su1c1dal #su1c1d3 #suic1de #im so tired #988twt #988blr #mentally unstable #mentally fucked #mentally exhausted #mentally drained #actually mentally ill #mentally tired #i hate my existence #i hate everything #kms #im going to kms #i want to kms #i should kms

[togglesbloggle]

Gathering Moss

One fatal point of confusion, I believe, is that people have a way of thinking of voting as being a statement of values, or at least a statement about your preferred form of government.  Alternatives to this framework tend to discuss 'tactical voting', which is.. I think not wrong exactly, but it's kind of missing a vital ingredient.  So, for your consideration, a useful lie:

Voting is pushing a boulder.  Lots of people are trying to push the boulder at once, but this isn't a clean vector math problem like in school.  The boulder is lumpy, the ground is uneven, and people are slipping and thrashing around and fighting over the best boulder-pushing vantage points.  It's too big to see over, and there's a lot of yelling and confusion about all this boulder-pushing, and it's impossible to get the thing to actually behave sensibly no matter how hard you try, and nobody seems to agree on where we're pushing it or why.  Sometimes the boulder doesn't move even when you push really hard, other times it gives way suddenly and rolls for a while while you slip and fall.  When it moves back and forth a whole lot, the ground gets torn up and muddy and useless.  It definitely helps to coordinate with people and shout "heave-ho!" a few times to get everybody pushing at once. And so on.

People want to push the boulder for all sorts of reasons; if the boulder is next to a nice tree you can even climb on it to get fruit! But some of them want to use it to crush others.  That's not totally evil, necessarily- people can be very dangerous things, and if they're threatening those you care about, then maybe you start thinking that you should do whatever it takes to get them to stop, even if that means rolling the boulder on them.  Others really want the boulder to be in a certain place, and they just don't realize or care that there's somebody else in the way, so they push it in that direction and just happen to crush them as a side effect.  And with all this rolling going around, when a big crowd of people on the other side of the rock start pushing the boulder your way, it's very scary, and you might die, and it's easy to start thinking of them as your enemies- after all, they're trying to crush you!  And so those of you on this side of the boulder might, out of necessity, band together to push the boulder back the other way, just to save your own lives, and now the other people on that side start seeing the boulder roll back, and...

It's a very messy process, this mass enthusiasm for lithosomatics.  It's probably for the best- we do want to move boulders around, after all- but even the people in leadership roles with a top-down view are just kind of doing what they can in a chaotic situation.  It's not a controlled environment.  And that, more than anything about tactical voting, is about why it's not always a good idea to just push the boulder in the direction you think it ought to go, not even if your goal is to hurt people in righteous ways.  Because you can't actually fine-tune this situation at all.  You can't decide to just push the boulder on to somebody's foot a little to teach them a lesson, you can’t crush just the people that hurt others or who worship the wrong gods, you simply cannot arrange it all 'just so'.  You're one of many, many hands all pushing back and forth.  The question isn't just whether a particular law is proper, because the boulder does not care about your political theories.  It is a boulder.  The question is whether anything in the vicinity of that law is bad, whether it becomes bad if it gets momentum and keeps going, or doesn't get enough momentum, whether it becomes bad if filtered and echoed and inverted through a million brains, whether it becomes bad if implemented by bored or wicked or confused people, whether a crisis occurs if there are a bunch of people in the way and they push it back the other direction so they don't die.

In such circumstances, the only ways to avoid total slaughter and get to the really good fruit trees all involve the same strategy: pushing the boulder away from people, in paths or directions where the crowd simply won't get crushed by it.  Even that's not without huge mortal cost sometimes, in the process of getting it from here to there, but it at least puts you on a sustained trajectory towards something better.  This is the moral imperative of liberalism- the compromise that says we need to stop using this boulder as a weapon, and move it only through gaps and edges of the crowd so the fewest people get crushed.

Happily, nature agrees; by pure brownian motion, a boulder being pushed chaotically by a bunch of random people will tend, just by the law of large numbers, to move away from where crowds are thick and towards where they are thin.  When the chips are down, we tend to try to push the boulder away from ourselves, and when lots of people all do that, the boulder tends to bounce around randomly until it gets to a place where there aren't as many people to be crushed and to push it further.  And even more than self-preservation, pity reigns supreme here; pity may be weaker in the individual case, but it binds people together in a way that self-preservation cannot, and those bonds are strong enough to move the boulder where individuals fail.  If you’ve got a political philosophy that demands you crush certain people with the boulder, then your greatest enemy will always be the pity that people feel for one another.

So, history tends to involve the boulder hurting fewer and fewer people over time, albeit with fits and starts and the occasional true catastrophe.  We’ve sometimes made the mistake of thinking of this as a coherent political faction that’s ascendant; “Cthulhu always swims left” and all that.  But this isn’t quite true.  Look at the social hygiene movement of the early 20th century US, or the then-progressive push for alcohol prohibition.  At the time, it was all seen as a time of active reform, and they still sometimes call it the “Progressive Era”, but its legacy in modern times is muddled at best, and many of its proudest achievements were limply retracted just a few years later.  In history, this thing called “the left” has plenty of cul-de-sacs, and opposing tyrants has never been a guarantee that you’ll end up on the right side of history or avoid starting yet another cycle of back-and-forth useless violence. You won't preserve your legacy by choosing the right enemy, or pushing the boulder with the most righteous strength towards the most resplendent hill. The deeper question, the one that really matters, is this- are you trying to roll the boulder towards people, or away from them?  Is pity your enemy?

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

What things do Eddie and Lucy particularly love/appreciate about the other?

What Lucy Loves/Appreciates about Eddie

He's just so damn funny

That's at least the first thing so notices. It's like every time they hang out, he makes it his mission to make her laugh. (It is, but that's a story for another day)

He's crazy smart too

Not book smart, but he's got a great ear and can play a song is basically any key you ask for; anything that sparks his interests he is suddenly an expert in over night, it just takes some prodding

For all his teasing, she never gets the sense that he doesn't respect her opinion

They can argue about music until they're both blue in the face, he can call her tastes girly and predictable, but never does it feel like he thinks less of her for it; it's a fine line, but an important one

He's actually really thoughtful and sweet once you get to know him

For all his talk, he's got a good sense of reading other's emotions and finding the best ways to respond; usually he uses this power to annoy people, but with his friends he'll use it for good

He's got a soft spot of his fellow freaks and actively wants to create a space for them to just hang out and be themselves; hence Hellfire

His confidence is also a big draw

Yes, he puts on The Freak act at school to ward people off, but he's also not shy about who he is and his interests; he wears it like a badge of honor and there's a lot to say for that

And then there is just the simple fact that she thinks he's hot

She'd just about kill him if he ever cut his hair

She could go on for days about his eyes and his hands and don't get her started on his lips; it's indecent

As far as Lucy's concerned, it doesn't take much digging to see that Eddie is actually a really great guy and it saddens her that so few people are willing to see that

What Eddie Loves/Appreciates About Lucy

She's just so damn sincere

When they first met, his expectation was that she was trying to use him; whether it was for drugs, a prank, a charity case, whatever, but she didn't want any of that. It didn't even occur to her. She just wanted to learn how to play DnD and maybe make some more friends. How can anybody say no to that?

She didn't stop that first day. He learned quickly enough that Lucy always means what she says, every compliment and thanks comes from the heart

It cuts both way though, and she can get really sassy and even a little mean; it's hilarious

He wished her humor wasn't as self deprecating sometimes, but it's always great to see her go off now and again

She gives everybody the benefit of the doubt and wants to see the best in people, which leads to the people around her not wanting to let her down

The second she has nothing nice to say about somebody is the moment he knows for a fact that person is a certified irredeemable asshole (*cough* Billy *cough*)

She's crazy creative too

Between costuming and acting and DnD, she always has some project going and it's always the most interesting and chaotic thing he's ever witnessed

The only time he ever considered handing the DMing reins over to somebody else was to Lucy, just to see what she would come up with

He loves seeing her perform tbh

She just has this energy, like every line she speaks she's trying not to smile; she's having so much fun you can't help but have fun with her

She's also about the most thoughtful person he's ever met

She brings snacks and remembers birthdays and there was that one time she called all around Indianapolis just to get him an Iron Maiden patch to fix his vest; he didn't ask her, she just did it

And last, but certainly no least; she's just really pretty

Pretty smile, pretty eyes, pretty hair, she also has some really nice curves and he's embarrassed to admit what seeing her in a Corroded Coffin T-shirt did to him the first time she wore it to a gig

He wants to kick himself for how long it took him to realize just how hot she really was

Honestly he wants to kick himself for it taking her approaching him to finally get him to notice her at all; the idea of him going whole life thinking of Lucy Henderson as just "Wheeler's friend" feels baffling now, but it was so close to being a reality

#stranger things #stranger things oc #eddie munson #lucy henderson #eddie munson x oc #eddie munson x henderson!reader #leddie