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findingjoynweirdstuff · 3 years

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Dream SMP Recap (April 29/2021) - Prison Break

It’s finally time for Tommy to break into Pandora’s Vault and kill Dream once and for all. He brings Ghostbur along, and things don’t go to plan.

Jack’s plans have been foiled once again, and he speaks with Foolish, finding out that Foolish is another investigator working on the missing nuke situation.

Later, Ranboo breaks some news to Phil...

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VOD LINKS:

Foolish

Tommyinnit

Jack Manifold

Ranboo

Captain Puffy

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- Foolish continues work on his summer home Nether portal entrance. Sam comes over to judge the block palette he’s using for the floor

- Foolish asks Sam what happened at the Red Banquet. Sam is confused. Wasn’t Foolish there?

- Foolish wants to know what happened after he...you know (died). Sam tells Foolish that he has quarantined the Egg, and it will be locked away shortly. As for everyone else, Quackity arrived and no further casualties happened. No more Egg.

- Sam tells him the build is coming along well and leaves Foolish to think about what he said.

- Foolish isn’t sure if he entirely likes the idea that the Egg is so tough, but at least it seems like a win for now. He’ll have to ask someone later.

- Tommy meets with Ghostbur, Ranboo and Tubbo at the watchtower to gather up everything before the final plan.

- Tommy and Ghostbur go to the prison together. Tommy will sneak in after Ghostbur using invisibility.

Ghostbur: “Tommy, I need to ask you...promise -- you promise me they’re not gonna try and -- and revive me, right? They’re not gonna try a revival.”

Tommy: “Let’s not use the r-word, Ghostbur, we’re fuckin’ fine!”

- Friend is there. Tommy suggests they take Friend with them.

- They go over the items they have.

Ghostbur: “You know, Tommy, whenever I get scared, I always go to Friend. ‘Cause Friend knows exactly how to calm me down, he always knows how to make me happier, and he always knows -- he knows what to do. He knows how to make it better.”

Tommy: “And he’s blue.”

Ghostbur: “He’s really blue!”

- They say some parting words to Tubbo and Ranboo and head to the prison.

- They bring Friend through the Nether portal entrance, but can’t get him to go back through, so they leave Friend in the Nether for the time being. Ghostbur assures Friend that he’ll be back in a little bit.

- Ghostbur greets Sam at the lobby, Tommy now invisible.

- Ghostbur reviews the waivers and signs his name.

Sam asks the questions:

“When is the last time you visited the prison?”

“I don’t think I’ve been here, but my memory is quite bad.”

“Where is your current place of residence currently located?”

“L’manburg.”

“Do you believe that the prisoner is deserving of being locked up?”

“Um...I guess so...yeah, I mean you guys seem to know what’s right.”

“What are your prior relations with the prisoner?”

“Uh...He exiled me and Tommy to a holiday, uh...he also did bad things before, but I don’t remember them. Is this a history quiz? Am I doing okay?”

- Ghostbur answers the rest of the questions and goes to the locker rooms.

- Sam leads Ghostbur through all the security measures. Tommy sneaks behind, still invisible, trying not to be noticed.

- Ghostbur asks about the courtyard. Sam says there’s nothing in it.

- Ghostbur signs the other two waivers and they reach the lava wall.

- It falls, and Tommy follows Ghostbur across the bridge. Just as they reach the platform to Dream, though, Tommy pulls out the Netherite Axe and Sam shouts at them to stop.

- Sam tells whoever’s invisible to get back on the bridge or else they’ll be killed. Reluctantly, Tommy gets back on the bridge and Sam brings him back over to the other side, giving him a bucket of milk to get rid of the invisibility.

- He sees that it’s Tommy and shouts at him to ask what he’s doing breaking into the prison, that Sam should kill Tommy for violating the contract.

- Dream calls for Sam to let him out or else he’ll revive Wilbur.

- Dream disappears for a moment in the panic. Tommy tells Sam to let him back over but Sam tells him to stand to the side.

- Dream reappears and reveals that he has the book in his hand.

- Tommy and Ghostbur count to ten together to help Ghostbur calm down.

- Sam starts bringing down the lava wall, insisting that he can’t bring back the bridge.

Ghostbur: “Tommy, you said it would be okay!”

Ghostbur dies and leaves the game as the lava wall falls.

- Sam tells Tommy he’s never coming back to the prison and starts leading him out.

- Tommy tells Sam he’ll kill him.

Sam: “Do it then.”

Tommy: “You know what, Sam, you’re corrupt.”

Sam: “I am not corrupt, Tommy. Everything I’ve done, I did to try and help the server.

Tommy: “You let me die!”

Sam: “You’re so lucky I don’t kill you right now. You should be dead, Tommy.”

Tommy: “Sam. Where’s Ghostbur?”

Sam: “Shut up, Tommy, I don’t want to hear it, I should’ve killed you right when I saw you on that bridge. You should be dead...The only reason you’re not dead is just because -- just don’t -- shut up, Tommy, I don’t want to hear anything else. Go.”

...

Sam: “You did this. You can blame me all you want, Tommy, this is not my fault. You did this.”

Tommy: “Sam. Go to Hell.”

Sam: “Say what you want, Tommy, I don’t care. I don’t care. I told you you weren’t gonna come in here again. I said no one else was gonna come in here. Every single problem at this prison was caused by you! Everything is perfect when it’s just me and him! Nothing bad has ever happened, until you started coming here! You are the greatest security risk on this server for this prison, and keeping him locked up! What were you thinking?! What did you think was going to happen?!”

Tommy: “Stop talking to me! Stop! Let me out, let me out the prison.”

Sam: “This is -- I cannot believe you, Tommy. You should be dead. I should’ve killed you. I should’ve just shot you when you were over there.”

“Tommyinnit, let me make something clear to you. You are never to come to this prison again. And if I ever see you even near the grounds of this prison one more time, I will murder you. I will take your last canon life and then I will hunt the ghost that remains. Do you understand me? I will not let Dream escape this prison, and you seem to be the only one that wants him to be free for some reason, even though we’re -- come on, Tommy. Go.”

- Tommy exits the prison with Friend and meets Ranboo and Tubbo outside. He tells them that Wilbur is back, and Ghostbur is gone.

- There’s only one way to know for sure: Tommy leads them over to L’manhole to visit the place where Wilbur died.

- They find him standing at the shrine.

Wilbur: “Oh...hello again.”

- Wilbur asks if this is real, who’s Friend. Tommy tosses him some blue but he doesn’t take it.

- He steps out and sees the crater, thinking it was his doing, that Tubbo has been running this place. He’s missed a bit.

Wilbur: “I’m alive! Tommy, I’m alive! I have spent thirteen and a half years in the fucking -- oh, what is this, what have you been making art? Making geometric art on the roof? Track and field?”

- Tommy tells him it was Dream and Techno. Wilbur runs up the hill.

Wilbur: “Tommy, this is bliss! Oh my god the sunrise -- where’s the sunrise, I need to watch the sunrise -- Oh! ...Tommy, I’ve waited so fucking long. Tommy, I have been waiting for over a decade in mere darkness...and this is my sunrise, this is my sunrise -- this is mine! This is mine, Tubbo!”

- He notices Ranboo. Some new faces!

- He tells Tommy that he cherished the day that Tommy came and they played solitaire. Tommy tells him it was the worst time of his life, and Wilbur says the same.

- As for Ghostbur, Wilbur knows him. He asks what Tommy’s version of the afterlife was like.

Wilbur: “I guess everyone has their own personal limbo. Okay. Tommy, I don’t know if you remember me telling you this, it was quite a few years ago for me now, but...my personal limbo was a train platform, Tommy. It was a train platform. No matter where I looked, no matter where I went, just concrete walls all around, and a tube, with a track, running straight along.”

“It doesn’t matter what I did, Tommy, I could claw at the walls. I could bash on the doors, I could scream for help -- I screamed until my lungs were sore, ‘til my voice was hoarse -- and nothing ever changes, nothing ever comes, nothing ever helps you, Tommy. And then you arrive -- you arrive, and it was great! And then you left. You got on a train and you left!”

“And Tommy, the last thing I saw, was a train pulling in, and there were two people on that train. One man, a desaturated me, came rolling into town, came rolling into Limbo -- my Limbo! He’s in my Limbo! His face was steaming with tears, they looked like they were burning him? I don’t know. But do you know who else was on that train, who was conducting the train, who let me out, Tommy?”

“It was Dream. It was Dream. My hero, my fucking hero, Dream, saved me from that hell! Tommy, I thought I wanted to die. All those -- that decade and a half ago, I thought I wanted to die! I thought I wanted to die, but now I’ve seen what Hell is! Now I’ve seen the other side. Tommy, I’ve been given a new lease on life -- there’s so much I need to do, Tommy, there’s so much I gotta do, there’s so much -- Tubbo, are you coming? And Ranboo...Ranboo...I know so much about you, Ranboo."

- Ghostbur’s memories start coming back to him as he remembers the sewer. Tommy tells him that things have changed, and Wilbur is responsible for all the pain that so many people have went through.

- Wilbur asks him if he’s trying to make him feel like he felt in Pogtopia again.

Wilbur: “I have this lease on life, and by God, if life’s a fucking horse, I’m gonna ride it, Tommy!”

- Telling them all that he has things to plan, Wilbur leaves them for next time.

Ranboo: “...What the hell did you do?”

- Since the server has been very uneventful, Jack continues on his plan to build a pub

- He’s eager to become a prison guard so that, when Tommy goes back to the prison, he can kill him!

- Jack finds out that Tommy already went to the prison. He’s distraught. All of that was for nothing?

- He doesn’t know where Tommy and Dream are, and those were the only two people that mattered. And now the only person online on the server is Technoblade.

- Jack asks Technoblade if he knows what’s going on with Tommy. Techno says Tommy died, didn’t he? (He’s been quite out of the loop)

- Jack tries to go into the prison but it doesn’t work.Techno points out that the best way to get into jail is to commit a crime. Jack thinks that’s not such a bad idea. Techno recommends arson and/or tax fraud.

- Jack builds a penis on the prison entrance to try and get Sam’s attention. It doesn’t work.

- He notices Foolish wandering around and follows after him. They talk for a bit about Jack’s plans. Foolish brings up the missing nuke. Jack didn’t realize Foolish knew about it.

- They discuss possible suspects for who could’ve stolen the nuke. Foolish tells Jack about him and Tubbo interrogating HBomb. Techno said no, and Quackity said no as well (him and Techno are on good terms), and it couldn’t have been Jack. Foolish suggests Sam.

- Jack doesn’t think Sam’s a good suspect, but he goes along with Foolish’s idea in order to possibly interview Sam later.

- Ranboo joins the game, still at L’manhole. He starts walking.

- Ranboo doesn’t like Wilbur, since according to the legends he’s heard, he was... “A villain, basically.”

- Phil is online... Ranboo rehearses what he’s going to say to him to break the news as he farms wheat.

- He heads back to the Arctic. Phil is home. Ranboo goes inside, sits Phil down, and tells Phil that Tommy had a plan to go into the prison with Ghostbur and kill Dream.

- Ranboo tells him. When Tommy came out...Ghostbur was not with him. Dream is still alive. Phil asks if Ghostbur got lost, and Ranboo breaks the news that Wilbur has been revived.

- Phil jumps up. This changes everything! He was reading up on resurrection, and Dream had the right book -- and he revived Wilbur, but why? Is Wilbur any different? Phil has so many questions.

- Ranboo doesn’t know if he was normal because he’d never met him. He said he was in a train station for thirteen years.

- Phil is shocked by this. Thirteen years is a very long time to be away. He might not be the same person.

- Ranboo tells Phil that Wilbur thinks the crater is what he did. Phil asks if Ghostbur’s memories are there. Ranboo says that he started to. He knew a lot about Ranboo. Phil has a lot of questions.

- Phil asks where Wilbur is. Ranboo says they saw him at L’manburg, but he’s not there anymore.

- What Phil is scared of is what Wilbur has been thinking about this whole time. People can change a lot in a single year, two years, five years. Wilbur was gone for thirteen.

Phil: “I don’t know if he’s going to be the same Wil I knew.”

“I need to prepare. I need to be ready for when he eventually comes to see me, because he probably has some questions...if he’s been sitting on what happened for thirteen years, then we have a lot to talk about. I think I know where he might be...I’ll talk to you later, Ranboo.”

- Phil leaves.

- Ranboo steps outside and looks at the blue, suddenly realizing that Ghostbur is gone. But maybe Wilbur’s turned over a new leaf. Ranboo’s optimistic.

- Wilbur seemed to be fond of Tubbo, and Tubbo described how Wilbur had affected him.

- Ranboo looks at his Memory Book and the message the Enderwalk left him. This is what he has to do.

- What he has to do is keep a close eye on Wilbur, and he knows exactly the people who can help him with that.

- Ranboo heads back to the main area. Antfrost comes running by dressed as Badboyhalo in a maid outfit.

- Ranboo makes his way to the Disruption Hole and drops down to the bottom, where he comes face to face with a group of Endermen. He asks them to do a favor for him -- keep an eye on Wilbur for him.

- Ranboo goes back to the Arctic to create an obsidian mailbox for the Council to give him news. Learning to speak Enderman was a good idea. That was the good thing about the experiments.

- When Tubbo described Wilbur to Ranboo, he said that Wilbur really liked debates. That little courthouse in the sky? Maybe they should fix it, maybe if he does then Wilbur will warm up to Ranboo and like him.

- Ranboo goes to King’s Court and starts fixing it up.

- When push comes to shove, he’s going to have to be on Tommy and Tubbo’s side.

- He realizes he didn’t tell Phil about Wilbur calling Dream his “hero.”

- Ranboo and Tubbo had some fun playing chess while waiting for Tommy to kill Dream.

- Wilbur has no idea about the Egg either.

- Ranboo finishes working on King’s Court and leaves a message for Phil saying that Wilbur considers Dream his hero.

- Wilbur also has no idea about Michael...

- Ranboo goes over to the Egg Room to grab a Netherite block.

- Tubbo logs on and they hang out for a while

- They mess around in the spider spawner, playing with item frame pictures.

- Puffy works on the graveyard and hangs out with Sam, Bad and Eret

---

Upcoming Events:

- Quackity’s business opening

- Dream’s lore video

- Bad’s Egg lore stream

- Tales From the SMP: “Space Race”

#dream smp #dream smp recaps #long posts

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thecarnivorousmuffinmeta · 3 years

Note

What do you think would happen if one of the Cullens realized they might also be "in love" with Bella during Twilight along side Ed. Mates be damned (not like their marriages are gonna last anyway), and everyone's on the table (just 1 love rival, not at the same time buuuuut could you imagine the chaos? *cough*). The usual Bella eaten/killed by Eddy boi is def on the table obvie, but like do you think there's a chance he might concede to one of his family (or just any other alternatives)? -Sw

Oh boy.

Why I Don’t Think This Is a Possibility

That said, I have to caveat that I don’t think this is a very likely path (sorry, I cannot resist).

It’s true I don’t think any of the Cullen relationships will last in the long term, but I also don’t think they’re inclined to cheat on one another or fall apart at a moment’s notice. They’ve made it this long, several decades, but more, none of them realizes anything is lacking from their respective relationship.

Carlisle and Esme are very devoted to one another and don’t realize they have fundamentally conflicting values. Jasper and Alice think they fulfil each other’s needs and don’t realize that they share nothing in common. Rosalie and Emmett’s is the healthiest relationship in the house but don’t see their major issues (Emmett doesn’t really support or understand Rosalie and Rosalie loves Emmett mostly for his love of her).

My point being, none of them are going to realize it’s not working out anytime soon. They’re going to need a catalyst, and per the end of Twilight, one is coming. Either a confrontation with the Volturi occurs, Renesmee decides to leave, the Cullen lifestyle changes, or things with Bella go awry. It can be any number of things, and it will happen given time, but at the start of Twilight we haven’t hit that point yet.

There’s also the fact that of the Cullens, only Edward would do this nonsense, and even for him it takes Bella’s delicious blood to grab his attention. When she was an ordinary human, he was not interested in the slightest, not even in her gift.

Each of the Cullens (Sans Alice and Esme) is completely baffled by Edward’s emotional whiplash and attachment to this human girl he doesn’t even know. Bella only becomes a vague concept to them when she enters as a serious fixture in Edward’s life, but even then, they really don’t know what to think.

No one in the family will do what Edward did in Twilight. Look at this girl they don’t even know and say “Ah, yes, I’m in love.”

Now, that out of the way, let’s play ball.

Alice

This actually will work out shockingly well if only because I suspect Alice will come up with the pragmatic solution of “sharing”.

First, Alice is by far the closest Cullen member to Edward. He holds her in high esteem, feels a strong sense of kinship with her, actually confides in her, and sees her as a very close friend. Edward looks up to Carlisle and adores Esme, but it’s not the same.

If Alice sees herself as getting together with Bella I don’t think she’d see this as mutually exclusive to Edward having Bella. Alice cares deeply for Edward’s happiness, far more than she does Bella’s general existence, and I think the idea of entering a joint marriage with Edward and Bella would be very appealing to her.

She’d have to ease Edward into it, of course, as he’d balk at the very idea of it, but I think he’d see it as a strengthening of his and Alice’s relationship as well as having the wonderful Bella. Better yet, Alice can be physical with Bella while Edward can go compose music about their love.

As it is this... This is kind of what happens in canon.

Alice tells Edward that not only is he in love with Bella, but that Bella is going to be her best friend, so he better not muck it up. She has to ease him into the idea of being in love with Bella throughout the first part of Twilight. Then, when the relationship is solidified, Alice is right there introducing herself as Bella’s new BFF. Bella’s friendship with Alice throughout the series is extremely homoerotic and I imagine it remains so after Breaking Dawn.

Edward is very pleased that Bella counts Alice as her best friend, Alice being far and away his favorite sibling and the one he approves of Bella spending time with (generally, when she’s not foiling his schemes).

I don’t think Alice and Bella will ever have sex, per se, but I imagine they remain quite physical with each other and Edward looks on with approval thinking to himself that this is how all female friendships should be.

And if Jasper has the nagging suspicion his wife is cheating on him then he’s not functioning quite well enough to put it into words just yet.

Carlisle

Edward would lose his mind.

First, Edward is very into Carlisle, and for all he insists his feelings are filial they sound remarkably romantic. I’d drop a quote, but it’s pretty much every time Edward thinks of Carlisle in Midnight Sun. More than that, Carlisle is the man Edward aspires to be, someone he sees as profoundly more good than he could ever hope to be.

Edward projects a very similar personality onto Bella herself.

So, I imagine if Carlisle sits Edward down and says, “Actually, Edward, I have fallen in love with this Bella” Edward feels very conflicting things all at once.

On the one hand, this means Esme/Carlisle is collapsing. Edward personally brought those two together and adores the idea of their relationship. Their relationship is what he hopes his and Bella’s will look like and is to him the married ideal of a perfect Mother and a perfect Father.

Carlisle/Esme alone falling apart would give him a complete existential crisis. That’s not allowed to happen.

And then that Carlisle wants Bella Swan for himself?! Edward would be faced with the immediate,horrifying, thought that for all Carlisle is a vampire he would be the perfect man for saint like Bella. Carlisle and Bella deserve one another, would be perfect together, and Edward should not begrudge them that.

On the other hand, Edward himself is in love with Bella, and while he thought he could nobly leave her, now he has to nobly stand to the side and watch as Carlsile and her marry. It’d be a very romantic and tragic thing to do, but there’s leaving Bella to her human life, and then watching her up front for the rest of eternity while bitterly hiding his feelings.

More, Carlisle will turn her. If Bella is his true love, then there’s no question of that. Edward’s seen where this goes with Emmett. He will destroy Bella Swan to be with her forever, and Edward will have to live with the shell of Bella Swan staring back at him, fucking his father, forever.

I imagine Edward desperately pretends to concede to Carlisle, to be happy for the pair of them, but as things progress and Bella’s permanent position in the family looks more and more likely, he loses his mind. He’ll snap and there is no telling what he might do.

My money’s on him mercy killing Bella while she’s still human behind Carlisle’s back. He’s sobbing while he does it, but he just can’t let Bella be tarnished by vampirism, and now he will carry this tragic, terrible, secret for the rest of time.

Whether Carlisle was going to turn her or not is up to debate. Given he turned none after Emmett, I think he learned his lesson from Rosalie and would be more than willing to let Bella go, even if he loves her, should it mean he would not force something she does not want and does not understand upon her.

That said, I think he’d never tell Edward his feelings for Bella, as that would ruin Edward’s fledgling relationship with the girl. This is Edward’s first brush with love and seems to be the only romantic love he’ll ever have. Edward has been so miserable for so long that Carlisle would easily give up his own happiness for Edward.

So, more likely, Twilight would happen anyway and Carlisle would spend the entire time being utterly miserable and pretending he’s perfectly fine. LOOK HOW HAPPY HE IS, ESME.

Emmett

Edward tattles to Rosalie immediately.

He loves Emmett, but he knows Emmett can’t possibly be serious about this, and more, fundamentally doesn’t understand how wonderful and amazing Bella is. He wants to turn her into a vampire, clearly, Emmett doesn’t know what’s best for the girl.

More, a man who would so easily break his marriage vows (even to Rosalie), does not deserve Bella Swan.

Edward watches Rosalie and Emmett’s marriage utterly disintegrate with a juice box filled with mountain lion blood and swoops in on Bella while Emmett is thoroughly distracted. Edward then gaslights Bella into believing Emmett is dangerous and despises her, making Emmett the new and improved Jasper.

Esme

Esme would never tell Edward or likely even realize her feelings for Bella herself. If she did though, she would give up the possibility of a future with Bella Swan in a heartbeat for Edward’s happiness, which means everything to her.

Esme will have no regrets, won’t even smile sadly at Bella, because she has Carlsile as her consolation prize and she gets to see the joy in both Bell and Edward’s faces which is far more important than having Bella to herself.

Esme would live vicariously through Bella and Edward’s relationship as well as the very existence of Renesmee.

Like Alice, this is one of those things that’s pretty much canon. I won’t say anything for Esme’s feelings, it’s more that Esme ships Bella with Edward (and mostly because Edward himself comes to obsess over her), but she does seem to vicariously get her joy through their nuclear family within the Cullen family.

Esme is a very strange person.

Jasper

Edward would attempt to murder Jasper or at least severely injure him. Jasper would be the ultimate threat to Bella, not even a man unworthy of her but not a man at all, and exactly what Edward needs to protect Bella against.

Alice tries to stop the fight, to no avail, and Edward will ultimately lose (despite all his confidence). I imagine Jasper doesn’t kill him, but tears apart his limbs, and uses Edward’s lack of mobility to kidnap and then turn Bella.

Bella has no idea what’s happening and the next thing she knows she’s a vampire and Jasper is telling her they have to leave the area (as he must now leave the coven).

Edward tries to track them down for the rest of eternity. He will get vengeance upon Jasper and save Bella this terrible demonic existence forced upon her. Of course, he ends up lost in Rio.

Rosalie

Edward would tell her that her feelings cannot possibly be real. Bella is a woman. More, Rosalie is unworthy of Bella in every possible regard, even more so than Edward himself.

Basically, Edward would lay into Rosalie in a way that he never has before with all of his venom. He will do everything he can to sabotage Bella’s opinion of Rosalie before Rosalie can even get a word in edgewise. He is successful at it due to Bella’s perilously low self esteem (much the reason he was successful with this endeavor in canon).

Rosalie and Edward get in a vicious fight and I imagine Rosalie eventually confronts Bella, making an opportunity to do so, and both warns her away from Edward, tells her everything, and offers to turn her despite Rosalie’s own mixed experiences.

Rosalie and Edward probably then fight and it quickly turns into something that’s very serious. If Edward wins, he murders Rosalie in the heat of the moment, and then leaves the coven in horror over what Carlisle must think of him now. If Rosalie wins... I don’t think she will, she cares for Edward far too much and would never truly be able to aim to kill or maim.

Edward disappears, drowning in his self hatred, and returns to find Bella Swan at some later date unable to resist the call of her scent. Depending where she is in her life, he likely murders her human husband if she has one and dvours her, as Alice prophesied so long ago.

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crispyjenkins · 3 years

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Can we get a fic where Jaster somehow gets sent to the future or something and him reacting to the clones? (Being pissed off that his ad would do something like this to these poor kids/ just reacting to them?)

(this one was so. fecking. hard. to write, i’ve been struggling with it for weeks, but i’m glad i did, because this is by far the best version i made of it. it’s interesting in how much my opinion of jango’s decision to be the template has changed since i first got this ask, and i was definitely coming at it with this post in mind for their characterisations here.

i love hondo. so you get hondo knowing jaster from pre-civil war days, and i don’t care if canon disagrees: hondo ohnaka has been terroising house mereel for three generations.

also i’ve already had a few people donate to my ko-fi and i’m completely floored by your kindness and generosity, and i sat down with this fill knowing i wanted to get it out as soon as possible. i sincerely love you all, i hope you’re all healthy and being as safe as possible.)

Alt+R to Quick Reblog on Desktop, Hold the Reblog Symbol to Quick Reblog on Mobile

“Oh, Jango? We keep him here.” —Lama Su, AotC

By some will of the Ka’ra, it’s Boba that finds him.

The possibility of dying in his ad’s arms hadn’t exactly crossed Jaster’s mind until it happened, like a nightmare he had never even had. For the first time since the Fett farm burned, Jaster cursed the Ka’ra, and he curses them again when he wakes up not marching* to the stars, but standing knee-deep in the snows of Galidraan

And the Ka’ra make sure he knows it’s Galidraan though he had never been there, just as he somehow knows Jango is long-since dead. That he is a dislocated bone in the universe, snapped out of time and place and thrown into a future where Jango’s face stares at him from a body that is not his.

“Oh,” the teen with Jango’s nose says, the snow coming all the way up to their thighs, and they don't look dressed nearly warm enough for this biome. “Did Hondo send you?”

Jaster blinks at them. “Did...? No, ad’ika, I have not spoken to Hondo in many years.” Maybe he shouldn’t be surprised Hondo is even still alive, Maker knows Jaster’s tried to kill him enough times himself, but if the number of years since his death on Korda Six is as many as he thinks it is, surely someone would have shot him by now.

The teen doesn’t wear beskar’gam —it’s unlikely they’re even old enough to— but the style of the armor they do wear cannot be inspired by anything else, just reminiscent enough of evaar’gam that Jaster can’t help comparing every little detail about them with the faded image of Jango in his mind.

“Then who the kriff are you?” They eye Jaster warily, left hand twitching towards the vibroblade at their hip.

Promising to strangle every one of the Ka’ra when he can finally march away, and throwing the last of his caution down to the snow between them, Jaster simply says, “Jaster Mereel.”

Impossibly, though maybe not entirely, not-Jango doesn’t laugh at him, or call him crazy, or even try to shoot him with the rifle slung over their shoulder. No, they straighten to their full height, and—

And swear so colorfully in Huttese that Jaster knows this hell-child has absolutely been raised by Hondo Ohnaka.

Boba takes him to the ruins of Kamino first, where the kriffing Sith Empire has destroyed another one of his people’s homes.

The growth labs were all blown into the ocean by imperial ilk soon after the formation of the empire, but the barracks and some of the training rooms still stand above the waves. In the ship he says belonged to Jango, Boba steers them to a dilapidated landing pad, controlling the Slave I (Maker, had Jaster really left Jango to that fate?) far too easily through the rubble for this to be his first time to return, and Jaster tries not to think about what that means.

Walking the dark, grimy white halls, seeing the narrow bunks and bare req rooms, he then tries not to think about a child being raised in such a place, about hundreds of thousands of children being raised in such a place. How had Jango... chosen this for them?

“I only have his stories,” Boba tells him quietly, when he shows Jaster the tiny apartment the Kaminoans had given them to “keep Jango close”. It’s bigger than most captain’s cabins, to be sure, but it is just as plain and white as the rest of the facility. “But he couldn’t even get one hundred Mandalorians to come and train the... clones.” He shuffles his feet uncomfortably as Jaster looks into the cupboard-sized kitchen and tries not to break down at the package of Mandalorian chiles rotted away on the counter. “Everyone else was New Mandalorian or Death Watch.”

“And the rest... they fell at the Battle of Galidraan?”

��Buir always called it a massacre,” he looks away. “Only a handful of the Cuy’val Dar even considered themselves True Mandalorians, buir was there when the Jedi killed the rest.”

Jaster inhales deeply, takes a few moments to steady himself, and is sickeningly, horrifyingly relieved. By the Maker, but knowing Jango had had no one left before his Kamino contract, that not even Skirata followed the codex anymore, that Jango had only taken the job after forcing Tyranus to give him an unaltered clone, makes Jaster guilty for having doubted his foundling. It doesn’t excuse anything, of course, but knowing Jango had done it all for aliit, well, it does make it easier to swallow.

Boba leads him back out of the apartment, he had already stripped it of anything important years ago, and they don’t stick around after reboarding the Slave I. Only after they’re out of atmosphere with hyperspace coordinates for Tatooine in the astronav system does Boba join Jaster in the tiny galley with a bottle of tihaar that Jaster should probably reprimand him for, but won’t.

“He tried to pretend he didn’t care, about the others,” Boba says and doesn’t even bother to find them glasses, “I think some days he even believed it.”

“He always was stubborn as a rancor.”

Boba takes a long pull from the bottle before passing it across the table. “Tyranus scared the shit out of me back then, he was too... put together, too fancy. Buir didn’t like him, I don’t know why he even did the tryout for him, the pay wasn’t even that great?”

Rubbing his left eye until he sees stars, Jaster stares down into the bottle until he can come up with a way to explain core Mandalorian beliefs to a child that had barely a decade of living as one before that, too, had been taken from him. “If Jang’ika took that job intending to come out on the other side, I’ll kiss whatever Vizsla is left.”

Boba’s mouth twists and he kicks his heels against the floor, not waiting for Jaster to hand it to him to grab the tihaar back. “Buir was an idiot,” he says, like the solve to a simple math problem, and Jaster can’t but agree.

He sighs. “Unfortunately, he probably got that from somewhere.”

“I mean, at least Montross didn’t live long enough to end up as the template? Kriffing fuck, can you imagine if the Jedi had had to work with that shabuir’s clones?”

“Maybe the war would have ended sooner,” he muses and accepts the bottle, “surely this Emperor would have tired of his face much sooner than Jango’s.”

“Or the Coruscant Guard would have shivved Palpatine in his sleep and tried to take over the Republic; what’s one betrayal of your leader to another?”

“Then I’d like to think Jango would put him, them, in their place for a third time.”

Snorting, Boba pushes to his feet to, presumably, check on the autopilot. “If buir would have even let it get that far, then I’ll kiss Vizsla.”

“Old friend!” Hondo shouts as soon as he sees them, and Jaster winces, nursing his first hangover since his twenties.

“Ohnaka,” he returns, and pretends he doesn’t notice the subtle way Boba brightens as Hondo comes to clap them both on the shoulders.

The old pirate just chuckles and starts to steer them both back across the hangar bay to his latest junk ship. “I heard you died, Mand’alor,” he says casually, like the title isn’t cursed to the ka’ra and back, like it hadn’t been three decades since anyone had dared call someone from his house such a thing so sincerely.

“I did.”

“I found him on Galidraan,” Boba offers. “Is that why you told me to go?”

Hondo scoffs, and Jaster would say he was flustered if he didn’t know him better. “No, I told you to go because Aurra had a job for you, that you seem to have forgotten about in your haste to bring my long lost best friend back to me.”

Boba scowls. “Aurra wasn’t at the meeting place, laandur, it was a kriffing mynock chase and you know it.”

Jaster side eyes his old “friend”, and wonders again about his preternatural... luck in all things pirate-related, despite being a boisterous mess of a man most of the time. If this Aurra had even been on the planet when Boba got there, Jaster will kiss Vizsla twice.

Mando’a: Ka'ra — an ancient Mandalorian story, ruling council of fallen kings, “stars” ad — “child”, gender neutral 'ika — diminutive suffix, similar to the suffix “ita/o” in Spanish. generally used only by close family and friends beskar'gam — Armour made of beskar, “Mandalorian Iron” that was actually probably a steel alloy evaar'gam — lit. “youth armour”, fan name for the interim armour/garb Mandalorians would have worn before building their kit of beskar’gam buir — “parent”, gender neutral Cuy'val Dar — “Those who no longer exist”, group of 75 Mando’ade and 25 others put together by Jango to train the clones aliit — “clan”, “family” tihaar — Mandalorian strong clear spirit made from fruit shabuir — an extreme insult, mostly accepted in fandom to be an insult of an individual’s ability to parent (from buir), which is an intrinsic part of Mandalorian psyche and identity laandur — used here as “weak”, “pathetic”, but is usually used as “delicate”, “fragile”

*in reference to the Mando’a word for the dead/deceased “taab'echaaj'la”, or “marched far away”, best explained in the Mando’a tribute to dead comrades, “not gone, merely marching far away”.

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lesetoilesfous · 3 years

Note

I can’t decide if I want “sensory overload” or “on a leash” for Fenris and Fenders, so um, whichever sparks your interest please!

Oh my gosh I had too much fun with this. And "on a leash" gives me a bingo, thank you so so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@badthingshappenbingo

Fandom: Dragon Age 2

Prompt: On A Leash

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Slavery, Brainwashing, Mindwipe, Implied Sexual Abuse, Attempted Prositution, Graphic Depiction of Injury

Pairing: Fenders

Characters: Fenris, Anders, Isabela, Varric Tethras, Merrill

Additional Tags: Angst with a Bittersweet Ending, Hurt/Comfort (mostly), Evil/Red Hawke, post-canon, what if Hawke sold Fenris back to Danarius and then the gang went and saved him

Anders knew it was going to be bad. He was - had been - blinded by his own ignorance and pain in the past, too busy trying to scream loud enough to get people to stop ignoring the people murdering children to listen to anyone else. He’d been young and single minded and irrational, and then older and bitter and furious with a terrible, poisonous kind of pain that made it hard to see the world around him. But he wasn’t naive. He’d spent ten years nursing criminals and refugees. Before that, he’d spent nearly a decade in the Grey Wardens, with former slaves and blood mages and Dalish hunters and Antivan crows. Anders had not been naive since he’d first drunk from the Joining Chalice.

Still.

It’s almost impossible to see in the placid, polite, half-naked man the proud warrior he’d once known. Fenris’ hair has been shaved close to his head, a fuzz of powdered snow that’s bright as the moon against his brown skin. There’s a thick, silver collar hanging around his neck, and in it the reflections of his lyrium tattoos twist and shine like mercury. His chest is mostly bare, and thin white linen is wrapped in a loose skirt around his waist. His body is sculpted and unmarred and beautiful, and Anders does not for a moment believe that it means he has not suffered pain. His wide, green eyes no longer hold any of the intelligence, or humour, or fury that Anders had once fallen in love with. Instead he stares, docile, into the middle distance. A greatsword is slung on a strap of leather over his back, but like this Fenris looks no more capable of wielding it than a kitten. Again, Anders knows better than to trust in appearances.

Attached to the collar is a long, silver chain that ends in a black loop of leather. There are runes stitched into the leather in silver thread, though Anders cannot see what they are from where he’s sitting. Opposite him, relaxed, fingers hooked in the loop of Fenris’ leash, Danarius studies him with open curiosity.

Anders tries very hard not to vomit.

“So, you’re a Spirit Healer?”

Anders ducks his head, feeling his fingers beginning to shake and fighting hard to resist the urge to fidget. There’s a clocktower visible through the white marble arches of this balcony. He only has to last until the hour. Five minutes. He can do this. He tries very hard not to look at Fenris, or the way Danarius’ thumb is stroking possessively over the handle of his leash.

“I - I am, yes. I showed a talent for it when I was young.” Anders twists his hand in the air, summoning a wisp without catching his breath, and Danarius gives him the same indulgent, condescending schoolteacher kind of smile that Uldred used to offer before he beat you. Anders snaps his fingers, and the wisp returns to the Fade. At the back of his mind, Justice shifts uneasily, trying hard to resist his own urge to set the whole blighted mansion on fire. Anders tries to ignore the heat racing up the back of his neck and into his cheeks, and clears his throat. “I, uh, heard you were looking for apprentices?”

He can’t help the nervous tic that has him looking up, again, at Fenris as the lithe strength of his muscles. Again, he looks into those green eyes, searching for the spark of defiance that had drawn him so close so many years ago, like a moth to a flame worth dying for. “I’ve read your work an anatomical augmentation. It’s...fascinating.” Horrifying, he means. Anders had read the essays, in preparation for this. He doesn’t think he’ll ever stop having the nightmares. Not least the ones which superimpose Fenris’ face and body over the all too familiar anatomical sketches of Elven Subject 003.

Danarius twitches his hand with a tinkle of the chain like the ringing of a bell, and to Anders’ horror Fenris folds onto his hands and knees in one fluid motion to kneel beside Danarius’ feet. No emotion passes across Fenris’ face. Danarius runs his fingers over the fuzz of Fenris’ shaved head, and Fenris shuts his eyes in open, simple pleasure and Anders nearly throws up. Danarius runs his fingers down the back of Fenris’ neck, squeezing the back of it posssessively before looking up at Anders’ with a terribly possessive gleam in his clear grey eyes. “You’re a fan of my little wolf, then.”

Anders swallows the bile in his throat and stares at the clocktower. Three minutes. He can do this. Sweat tickles down his spine beneath the loose Tevene linen robe he’d bought for this occasion. He resists the urge to fuss with his hair, braided out of the way of his neck and ears in a fashionable Minrathous style. He forces himself to incline his chin. “Y-yes. Among other p-things. Among other things.”

Danarius chuckles, sitting back with a creak of his wicker chair, the crushed purple silk cushions huffing behind him as he moves. “Why so nervous?” Anders forces himself to huff a self deprecating laugh. “You knew him, didn’t you. In Kirkwall.” Anders’ jagged, insincere smile stiffens on his lips and Danarius laughs, moving forward to press both hands onto Fenris’ bare shoulders. Fenris shudders and looks up at him, eyes wide as a child’s. Danarius caresses the back of his head, and leans down to murmur intimately close to his ear, still loud enough for Anders to hear. “Do you recognise him, little wolf? Do you know who this is?”

For the first time since Anders had arrived at Danarius’ damn mansion, Fenris’ expression shows a flicker of emotion. Confusion flickers across his brow in a brief wrinkle followed by sudden, mute fear that freezes his expression with stiff tension when Danarius slips his fingers beneath Fenris’ collar and shakes him, gently. (Like a dog, Anders thinks, and imagines what setting this man on fire would smell like.) Danarius laughs, polite and performative. “How rude, Fenris! This man has come all the way from Kirkwall just to see you! Go on, thank him.”

Fenris hesitates for a millisecond, and Danarius sets a sandaled foot on his shoulder and kicks him forward hard enough that he chokes, briefly, as the leash goes taut and pulls on the collar around his neck. Anders sits forward without thinking, the muscle memory of ten years spent protecting this man’s life before Garrett Hawke ruined them both taking over any conscious thought of deception. Danarius doesn’t remark on him giving himself away - Anders is well aware that that game is long since given up.

Instead, the magister sits back, adjusting his grip on the handle of Fenris’ leash as Fenris sits up with tears of pain bright in his eyes, his fingers moving to dip beneath the skirt of Anders’ robes as he lowers his head towards Anders’ lap.

Anders has about three seconds to look up at Danarius and see the perverse glee in the old man’s eyes before Fenris' mouth bumps his cock through the fabric of his robes and his smalls, and suddenly Anders is two years younger on his back in The Hanged Man with his hands buried deep in silver hair thinking hopelessly that he’s fallen in love again.

Then he’s touching Fenris - ignoring the lightning bolt of rage that twists Danarius’ face as he does so, and gently pushing him away. Fenris looks up at him with an expression of quickly stifled terror, and Anders’ heart shatters. “No, no, it’s alright, it’s not you.” His fingers squeeze, reflexively, against the warm, smooth skin of Fenris’ biceps. “It’s going to be ok. I promise, love.” Again, a flicker of confusion wrinkles Fenris’ brow.

The clocktower strikes twelve. As the bells ring throughout the city, Anders becomes abruptly aware of the street below them: the sound of hawkers and tourists, the shouting of slaves and soft music of minstrels. Danarius is staring at him with a sneer twisting his thin lips blue. Anders gives him a wide, open smile. “Well, since we’ve given up on pretenses.” Then he punches Danarius in the face, harder than he's punched anyone since he escaped Kinloch Hold, relishing the way the man’s nose buckles beneath his fist.

He has a heartbeat to think, Nice job bleeding a Blood Mage, idiot, before Danarius’ blue-veined hand is curling into a rigid claw, and Anders’ body is lifting off the ground, his limbs contorting behind him in an agonising rictus that rips his left arm out of its socket and twists his ankle until it cracks.

Then there’s a thunderous BOOM that rumbles through the building, shaking plaster dust from the painted canopy over their heads, and the balcony on which they’re standing begins to list like a ship at sea. Danarius loses concentration on the spell, and Anders falls to the ground. He doesn’t take the time to breathe through the white hot splinter of pain in his ankle. He grabs the leash and pulls fire into his hands until his fingers are blistering and melts the metal until it breaks. Then he turns to Fenris.

Fenris, who has drawn his greatsword. Anders stares at him, and thinks about sitting with him beside a fireplace, sleepy and soft with wine, and stroking his hair as Fenris admitted that of all the things he feared, one of the ones that terrified him most was killing his friends. The building lists with a grinding rumble like a broken bone beneath a qunari sten, and amphorae and flower pots go flying across the tiled floor, hitting the building across the street in fireworks of soil and clay dust.

Anders’ bad ankle slips on the tiles and he grunts and turns it into a smile, and meets Fenris’ eyes. “No matter what, I want you to know that I forgive you.”

Then he runs forward and tackles Fenris, throwing them both off the side of the balcony. Behind them, Danarius screams, and Anders calls up a shield around them both that materialises a hair’s breadth away from the clinging red vines of Danarius' magic.

It’s only when they’re airborne that Anders registers the blade skewered through his chest.

He breathes, and salt and copper splatter against his lips and tongue. For a moment, in the golden, multicoloured kaleidoscope of sky and street, suspended in the air in a terrible embrace, everything is quiet. Fenris frowns at him, and blinks, and his green eyes flood suddenly with recognition and grief as he looks down at the sword hilt between them, intimate as a lover’s embrace. “Anders.”

Anders grins at him, and thinks he isn’t crying because of the pain, his tears rising behind him as they fall like backwards rain. He cradles Fenris’ head in his hand, and wraps his arms around his shoulders, and chokes as his organs shudder against the blade attempting to split him in two, and he feels Justice’s presence building in his mind like lightning in a thundercloud. “Be right back.”

What happens next returns to Anders in snatches of lucidity. Justice takes over, and draws the fade around them like a cloak as they fall through the wall of the building across the street like a comet. Fenris is unharmed and panicking, covered in Anders’ blood, his white linen skirt pink and red with it, the damn collar still locked around his neck. Justice had drawn the sword out of their chest and filled the wound with a magic simulacra of the blood vessels, muscles, organs and nervous system that needed to be there, in the way he had once reconstructed Kristoff’s corpse. (Both of them had quailed, at that comparison, but neither had time to linger on it.)

The building they’d fallen into was, of course, riddled with magisters, but before Justice could exorcise his frustration with a little smiting, all three men and women were dead with a bolt to the back of the head. Isabela appeared from the shadows in a puff of smoke like a mage herself, and Varric waved at them to follow him onto a waiting carriage. Merrill barely waited for them to get on board before she snapped the reins, and they bolted into the panicking crowds, most of whom were running to get away from the collapsing mansion.

In the carriage, consciousness had begun to make its slippery way out of Justice’s hands like a wriggling fish. Both of them had registered Fenris’ wide-eyed panic: the way he’d stared at their old friends with no hint of recognition, and held Anders’ arm so tightly it would bruise. But at that point, the blood loss had overcome them both, and they had passed out to Fenris shouting Tevene interspersed with Anders’ name, and Isabela trying to understand why.

Two years after Garrett Hawke sells him back into slavery, Anders, Isabela, Varric and Merrill free Fenris from Danarius’ service. They don’t go back to Kirkwall - all of them are too conscious of the so-called Champion’s stomping grounds to trust those streets. But Isabela has a contact in the Antivan Crows (or formerly of them - it’s complicated), so instead they go to Antiva City. Two days later, Anders wakes up.

Fenris is staring at him, wearing real clothes that seem to sit uncomfortably on his shoulders. His collar is gone, and there’s a small frown on his brow - a lifting of his eyebrows towards the bridge of his nose that he always used to wear when he was puzzling over particularly cramped handwriting (or, later into his studies, when he was attempting to accurately interpret and summarise abstract Qunari poetry). Anders breathes, and his chest sets itself on fire, and he groans and lets his head fall back against the richly perfumed pillow behind his head. It does relatively little to drown out the thick stench of hot leather that is as thick in the air as molasses.

Fenris startles when he moves, and stands, moving to the door. Anders frowns at him, turning his head to one side with all the energy he can muster. “Where’r’you’goin’?”

Fenris hesitates, turning back to him before lowering his gaze to stare at his still bare feet. There are new scars there, Anders registers, sadly, in neat white bands around his ankles. “I thought I’d fetch the mistress.”

Anders snorts, “Have you told her you’re calling her that?” He tries again to force himself to sit up, and Fenris starts forward, hands freezing in the air between them. His fingernails are neatly, perfectly filed and it ruins Anders’ tentatively building appetite.

“You really shouldn’t be moving.”

Anders grins, trying to ignore the sweat running down his temples as pain racks through every muscle in his body. “Why? Worried I’m going to split in two?” Fenris grimaces, and Anders grunts, giving up and collapsing to the bed with a thunderbolt of pain. “OW. Sorry. Bad joke.” There’s a rustle of fabric, and when Anders is able to stop seeing stars, he turns to find Fenris on his knees beside the bed, head lowered, hands palm up in front of him. “What in the name of Andraste’s perfect silky knickers are you doing?” Anders asks as if he doesn’t know. He thinks it’s going to be easier not to take this seriously, at first. At least whilst he recovers from the mortal injury.

Fenris flinches, and Anders regrets his bad attempt at humour, feeling Justice rumbling in the back of his head like a bowel movement. “Sorry, sorry. Look, Fenris, I’m not going to...punish you, or fuck you, or whatever it is you think I’m going to do to you. I actually have a very busy day planned of, uh, staring at that crack on the ceiling and pretending it doesn’t hurt when I breathe. Or speak. Fuck. I talk too much. I need to - ow - work on that.”

For a long moment, Fenris says nothing. Outside, there’s the sound of someone playing violin in the street, and the rich, warm sound of Antivan spoken loudly and with laughter. Now that he’s acclimatising to the leather, Anders thinks he can smell cured meat frying, and he’s beginning to reconsider his aborted appetite. He’s trying so hard to see if he can actually hear the sizzling of street food that he almost doesn’t hear Fenris’ voice when he speaks, barely above a whisper. “Why?”

“Because I love you.” Anders responds, more muscle memory than conscious - hey he doesn’t remember anything about you maybe we should start slowly - thought. Fenris stares at him, eyes wide, though his mouth twists in apprehension before he smooths it back into impassivity.

“Domine - My master loves me.”

Anders sighs, falling back in the bed to stare up at the crack in the ceiling and try to ignore the hot-cold flushes of pain rocking up through his body. “You don’t remember anything about me, so I’m not going to take that personally.”

Fenris is very still. “You do not...like him?”

Anders chuckles, and regrets it when his tattered organs throw a violent protest. “What gave that away.”

“You broke his nose.” Fenris says, solemnly, and Anders does laugh then, so hard he thinks it splits something open, and he finds himself clutching at his side in the sudden fear that his organs are going to fall out. When he can breathe again, he coughs on his dry mouth and shifts his gaze to Fenris, who’s watching him with wide eyes and the curl of a smile at the corner of his lips which Anders doesn’t think he knows he’s doing.

Anders’ gaze falls to a pewter jug of water on the bedside table and a wooden cup beside it. It may as well be in the Nocen sea, for all the nauseating pain running through him.

“Would you please pour me a glass of water?”

Fenris immediately hurries to obey with a soft, stifled sigh of something terribly like relief. He offers Anders the cup, and when Anders’ shaking, sweating fingers slip on the wood his hand comes up to cup the back of Anders’ head whilst the other pours the cup against his lips. The feeling of Fenris’ fingers in his hair, after so many years, holding him like this, is almost too much for Anders to bear. He keeps his eyes shut for a long time after swallowing, and breathes as tears tickle between the seams of his eyelids and run quietly down his cheeks.

Fenris’ thumb gently catches a tear and brushes it away from his skin, and Anders forces himself to open his eyes and stare up at the elf in the sunshine yellow and orange painted room in which he’s been laid to recuperate. Fenris meets his eyes, so briefly Anders thinks perhaps he imagined it, and draws his hand away. “My master said that I knew you. But that I had forgotten.” Fenris hesitates, mouth stiffening into a firm line that is so painfully familiar Anders thinks he’d choose the greatsword again. Then he looks up, “Did I - did we - it seems as if I meant a great deal to you.”

Anders smiles at him, though his lips tremble, and tries to ignore the feeling of his heart breaking. Outside, on the street, an older woman walks past, singing quietly to herself and humming when she forgets the words. “I think we meant a great deal to each other.”

Fenris purses his lips, and looks away, out of the window. Over the street, the silver-green leaves of an olive tree brush the windows of nearby buildings. Elsewhere in the building, Anders can hear the familiar purr of Isabela, and Merrill’s chirping, and the soft old gravel growl of Varric. Occasionally, the floorboards creak when they move across the lower floors. At last, Fenris’ shoulders drop, and he shakes his head. “I don’t remember you.” The words are rich with regret and apology.

Anders blinks against the new tears tickling his cheeks, and shakes his head. “I know.” Then he reaches out, his fingers cold and numb with pins and needles. Stiffly, fumbling, he grabs Fenris’ fingertips in his own like a much older man, and squeezes them. “I just wanted you to be free.”

#bad things happen bingo #dragon age 2 #fenders #fenris #anders #my fic #anon

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morkofday · 3 years

Text

#10YearPromise - pingxie blabberings

bc i wasn’t able to answer these questions throughout the week (as i’ve been traveling around while being extremely busy), i decided to just collect all of my answers under one post! i never tire talking about pingxie so this was extremely enjoyable ♥ am also practicing some very shameless self promo in this so be prepared!

thank you for @laireshi for organizing this event (i take it’s you alone? am not sure, sorry for my laziness) and being amazing in general ^^ i won’t be able to join as i am still very busy and summer is always pure chaos for me, so i can only hope that other ppl have fun! if you are not aware of 10 Year Promise Pingxie Exchange, you can find the original announcement post here. join in if you have the time and inspiration ^^

and then to my answers which i will be placing under the cut bc i don’t want to flood anyone’s dash with me going bonkers over these two idiots. enjoy tho if you decide to read this :’D ♥

I. What made you ship pingxie?

Back when I got into Reboot bc of ZYL (as has happened to many ppl probably) and then saw stuff about pingxie once I started going through that drama’s tag on tumblr, my first thought about them was that they had to be a crack ship. The way Reboot portrays them as well as their actors and their huuuge age difference affected this a lot, and I was actually cackling at them bc all their moments in Reboot made me just go “oh, socialist brotherhood at its best” in my head. But then I finished watching Reboot’s 1st season (as the 2nd one wasn’t out yet) and started reading some fics. I learned more about them and the canon storyline. I learned how damn devoted they are to each other, and after that, many moments in Reboot gained new meaning in my eyes. So, I think what made me ship pingxie was a mix of Reboot (especially the hallucination moment where Xiaoge dies and Wu Xie loses it bc that’s my jam as I later on became to notice) and then the amazing fics I dug out during that time. After that the love grew stronger as I watched the other dramas, and these days I’m a lost cause. I feel like I spend most of my awake time thinking about these two and their love. They are amazing. I cry rivers for them.

II. Which pingxie version is your favorite?

After finding pingxie, I fell in love with them properly during TLT2. There is just something about that stage of their relationship for me, the stage where both of them are still very tentative about everything but they have deep down accepted that they’re tied now. Wu Xie is figuring out so many things, coming to terms with being betrayed by his uncle and slowly realizing that something bigger is going on behind the scenes. Meanwhile, Xiaoge is learning how to trust Wu Xie and how to accept that he cannot leave this naïve boy behind. It feels very fragile, and I have so many emotions about TLT2 bc of this. Xiaoge is so soft and feels very multilayered. Wu Xie is still his naïve self but is slowly gaining some sharper edges as he comes to face the cruel world. I like how Cheng Yi and Hou Minghao have portrayed this dynamic. Also, TLT2 is just very extra with all the pingxie scenes, who would be able to resist loving them? So, I have to admit that my favorite pingxie is these two, tho Ultimate Note comes very, very close.

III. What’s your favorite pingxie headcanon?

Headcanons are a bit hard for me as I don’t know enough of the canon. I have not read the novels so most of the story I’ve just patched together from all the bits I’ve read from somewhere (here, on twt, in fics) and through the scenes the dramas have shown me. I feel like the whole world is lowkey made of headcanons for me :’D But hmm, my favorite pingxie headcanon… I’d say there are two and then one bonus bc it’s more a Wu Xie related headcanon than just pingxie. The first one is that the pingxie confession happens after the Bronze Gate. It feels like the only moment when they’re both ready for such a thing. I’d say Xiaoge comes to realize his own feelings a lot earlier and he might tell something to unconscious Wu Xie before leaving for ten years, but he will not actually leave Wu Xie with such a burden. He doesn’t want to ask anything when it sounds like he doesn’t even believe that Wu Xie will be willing to wait for him, and I’d say that for him, his feelings are going to be fine even if Wu Xie never learns about them. He might even wish that Wu Xie never learns about them bc he’s not able to promise much as an immortal and amnesiac being (he outlives Wu Xie, most likely forgets him). For Wu Xie however, I’d say he needs time. He really is way too naïve and I’d say that he needs those ten years to realize that he’s in love with his best friend. I dunno who confesses first after Xiaoge returns but I think that only after that decade their relationship is “mature” enough to hold the weight of a confession (even if I also love to play around with the thought of them getting together during the events of Ultimate Note bc that drama offered many good chances for that). Another headcanon for me is that Xiaoge will find a way to die when Wu Xie does. After learning about them more, I feel like Reboot implies this too. Xiaoge is very accepting of Wu Xie’s death but in the last moments, when he really thinks that this is going to be it for Wu Xie, he hesitates. We see a spark of desperation there, and I’ve come to think that his initial plan, the plan he came up with once he got that call from Wu Xie and knew he would join Wu Xie on his last adventure, was to see this through for Wu Xie’s sake and then leave and die alone. I don’t know how much there would be left for Zhang Qiling after Wu Xie is gone. I feel like this is also what Wu Xie fears. But would he really resent Xiaoge for joining him in death after living such a long and hard life? I’d say no and I’d say that even Pangzi accepts this as one of the most likely outcomes. The bonus one then feels very personal to me. I don’t usually talk about this bc I feel so unsure of even mentioning this but I’ve seen others with similar thoughts so am sharing! I’ve never before gotten any vibes about a character’s sexuality in a drama I’ve watched but Reboot Wu Xie looked at me once in the eye and all I could hear was my brain yelling “asexual”. So, that is just my personal headcanon for Wu Xie. He’s ace and proud of it. He can flirt etc. but sex makes him go naah. He doesn’t need it or want it. He can appreciate beauty and hot ppl without wanting to sleep with them and I think his relationship with Xiaoge fits very well into this. I don’t have any personal experiences with being ace but I feel like Wu Xie has read the name once, shrugged and gone, “guess that’s me” and continued on with his life. He’s badass like that and I love him for it. (take a very relevant meme lol from this post)

IV. What’s the ideal pingxie date?

Ah, christ. I dunno if I’ve ever thought about them going on a date? In the middle of tomb raiding, hospital trips and fighting against powers bigger than themselves, I’ve rarely seen any time for them to do something like that lol. But after Ultimate Note, I’ve thought about star gazing a lot. Just them, the infinite night sky and some lonely hilltop. They would probably take a blanket with them, huddle together and talk about things in hushed voices. Wu Xie would go on a ramble about all the constellations and their meanings and mythology behind them and Xiaoge would just nod at him and watch Wu Xie talking. Maybe he would offer some tidbits in the middle of the rambling, making Wu Xie smile brightly. It would be relaxing and comfortable and loving. They would make out a lil bit. Would maybe lie down and play with each other’s hair. All their worries would feel insignificant. Wu Xie would fall asleep for a moment and Xiaoge would wake him up with a kiss to get him moving again so that they don’t need to sleep on the cold ground. They would return home and drink something warm and then go to sleep, cuddled together and happy. relevant edit x

V. What’s your favorite pingxie getting together scenario?

I guess I already talked about this a bit but let me elaborate then! As said, I’d see it happening after the Bronze Gate. I am not sure if it would be right away (they’re both going through so much trauma at that point) or if it would happen after Reboot (maybe we would still need Wu Xie almost dying for them to get their shit together), but I’d say it happens in a rush either way. It’s one of those “I have to tell you something before it’s too late” -type of moments. Or one of those “Bc I love you, you idiot!” -type of moments. I feel like I keep thinking that maybe Wu Xie would have to confess first bc as said, Xiaoge wouldn’t like to burden Wu Xie with his feelings when there’s so little he can give in the sense of normalcy. But then again, I have written a oneshot where Xiaoge is the first one to confess and that always feels better for me. That at some point Xiaoge feels secure enough to tell Wu Xie about his own feelings. That he feels confident and comfortable enough to say it out loud while still expecting nothing in return bc he knows that Wu Xie won’t abandon him either way. But no matter how that happens, I always see it as this dam breaking. The emotions finally become too strong. Something happens that reminds them that life is too short. Something happens that makes them finally talk it out and ah, Pangzi can finally take a break, what a joy

VI. What’s your favorite pingxie moment?

Every adaptation has its own good moments so let me make a list (like I saw someone else do too):

The Lost Tomb:

Xiaoge rescues Wu Xie from the shibie

Wu Xie worrying over unconscious Xiaoge plus taking care of him in the hotel room

The Pingxie MomentTM aka Xiaoge saving Wu Xie from falling and then cradling the boy to his chest while thumb rubbing his shoulder

The Lost Tomb 2:

Xiaoge revealed to be Baldie and Wu Xie yelling at him about it

Lowkey the whole underwater tomb arc bc holy shit that’s gay

Wu Xie losing it when Xiaoge doesn’t come up from the underwater tomb, diving after him and then almost dying himself + Pangzi getting angry at him for being stupid

pingxie ft. magical skype in the bronze tree cave (and Xiaoge being emo about the 1000yo warrior guy right before that)

Xiaoge rescuing Wu Xie from drowning (they shared air, you cannot convince me otherwise) + Wu Xie giving Xiaoge his watch in the hospital (relevant edits x x)

Wu Xie’s face when he sees Zhang Buxun in the coffin bc I love pain :)

Xiaoge not shooting Wu Xie despite not remembering him in the mountain village

Wu Xie grabbing Xiaoge’s jacket after being kidnapped and the Iron Triangle reunites in that old Chen guy’s cabin, asking, “Is that you?” from Xiaoge to make sure that he remembers again while looking like the biggest puppy (relevant edit x)

also some relevant memes x

Ultimate Note:

The hand over mouth reunion in the Golmud Sanatorium

“Xiaoge will ignore anyone else but you”

Xiaoge pretending he isn’t Losing ItTM throughout the whole time Wu Xie is in the Devil’s City with A-Ning

more hand over mouth with the gigantic snake

“The goddess has ascended”

Wu Xie protecting Xiaoge after he returns from the jade meteorite

“Do you remember me?” “Wu Xie.”

Wu Xie promising to help Xiaoge find his memories no matter what bc Xiaoge’s business is Wu Xie’s business

“Maybe you can return home with a wife today.” Wu Xie: proceeds to stare at Xiaoge, horrified

“Take me home.”

The sword gifting scene (especially Xiaoge denying the possibility of him killing Wu Xie or them harming each other, relevant edits x x)

other relevant edits for ultimate note x x

Reboot:

Wu Xie telling Xiaoge about his sickness and then Xiaoge coming back and promising to join Wu Xie on his trip (relevant edit x)

the death hallucination bc am a masochist

Wu Xie’s death dream where Xiaoge calls to him but then accepts his choice to move forward bc am a masochist pt. 2

pingxie reunion in the Thunder City forest where Xiaoge saves Wu Xie & co. from the poisonous gas

the moment in Thunder City where Wu Xie sits outside at night, eating the peanuts Pangzi gave him and then notices Xiaoge, offering him the peanuts and smiling

when Xiaoge leaves for the last time and then gets reunited with healed Wu Xie against all odds

the train scene and their softest smiles to each other

Time Raiders:

Wu Xie being the best bean and just wanting to befriend this mysterious man while seeing right under his skin and making Xiaoge baffled and fall in love in approximately 0.5 seconds

Xiaoge, catch! *proceeds to save only Wu Xie when they fall into that shibie horror chamber*

Xiaoge’s desperation to save Wu Xie from the crumbling ground

their death waltz at the end of the movie plus Xiaoge’s sacrifice

+ Sand Sea:

“Don’t you dare call him Xiaoge!”

Wu Xie offering his friends and then himself as comfort to Li Cu when he’s scared while smiling very softly at the memory of Xiaoge

“But isn’t his surname Wu?” Hei Xiazi: You have seen nothing yet, you sweet summer child

Wu Xie talking about Xiaoge’s past in the temple (aka the Tibetan Sea Flower story bc I just adore how pretty they’ve made those scenes)

VII. What is the best gift Wu Xie and Xiaoge could give each other?

I haven’t really thought about this type of stuff either bc we have already seen a ton of gifts being exchanged! I love the watch Wu Xie gives to Xiaoge in TLT2 as mentioned (it’s so silly but also so sweet) and I love it that Wu Xie gifts Xiaoge with a new sword in Ultimate Note. Also, I feel like I can count the food Wu Xie leaves for Xiaoge in Ultimate Note and that one moment where Xiaoge offers his knife for Wu Xie as a “pen”. They would give anything for each other as long as the other asked (which they never do) so I dunno what type of gift would matter the most. As it’s so hard to say, let me talk about one more headcanon that I’ve been thinking about ever since the infamous Bazaar photoshoot for Ultimate Note/XYL & ZSX. So, we see them having matching rings and necklaces in that photoshoot. I think jewelry would be kind of difficult for Xiaoge to wear when he needs to fight, as jewelry could be a hindrance in that type of situation But my brain won’t shut up about “pingxie married!!!” when I ask this question from it. To be honest, I do not see pingxie getting married in the traditional sense. They don’t need something like that after everything they’ve gone through. But I like to play around with the thought of promise rings. Just them exchanging rings for fun, for their own sakes, to have something concrete that reminds them of their promise to each other and of their feelings. Maybe even Xiaoge could wear that ring under his gloves idk. But am a sucker for that thought so my answer to this is then simply: a ring. relevant edits x x

if you read this far, thank you so much! I hope this gave you something and thank you once more for organizing this and allowing everyone to share their love for pingxie ^^ ♥

#10yearpromise #pingxie #dmbj #yes i ramble without any purpose #yes i love them a normal amount :)#thank you for organizing this!!#and sorry for coming at you like this #i hope you don't mind #am wishing you luck with the event!!#and hoping everyone has fun #i hope everything in this post #works like it's supposed to #bc oh boy did i struggle

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epicstuckyficrecs · 4 years

Text

Weekly Recap | August 10-16th 2020

Complete

💙 With Only You by brucespringsteen (Time Travel | 47K | Explicit): Steve, semi-retired and still a bastard who doesn’t follow rules, touches a cube that sends him to 1938, eighty-six years in the past. He takes it well. Bucky, twenty-one and baby-faced, takes it even better.

Forgive, Yet Never Forget by Kalee60/ @kalee60 (Post-Endgame | 8K | Explicit): Steve Rogers was a broken man. He'd failed to keep his friends alive, had lived through the snap, the blip, Thanos, whatever that torrid time of his life full of blood, fear and pain had been. Yet the one good thing to come out of the worst years of his life - he had Bucky back. And a head full of issues along with it.Issues that meant the only way Steve could get out of his overbearing mind is to fall into oblivion by paying one night stands, use people he never had to see again, people he couldn't let down.So what happens when Bucky accosts him after a mission and wants answers, wants only to help Steve? Can an old weary supersoldier, whose self worth is nonexistent, start to heal and find happiness, when he truly believes he doesn't deserve it?

Love Me, Hold Me, Squeeze Me by musette22/ @musette22, paperstorm/ @paper-storm (Evanstan PRF, PWP | 4,5K | Explicit): Chris grabs his junk when he's anxious. Sebastian notices.

Closer by musette22/ @musette22 (Evanstan RPF | 5K | Teen): The relief that floods Sebastian at seeing Chris alive and well is intense, lifting some of that debilitating weight that’s been pressing down on his chest all evening, but it’s short lived. Because Chris looks... Well, he looks unfairly gorgeous as always, with his beard and his soft, cerulean eyes, but he also looks nervous and just a little bit shifty.The feeling of unease grows when Chris shoots him a smile that’s tense around the edges and says, “Hey, Seb. Can we talk for a moment?”

💙 a question of worth by Deisderium/ @deisderium (Post-Endgame | 30K | Teen): In which Steve and Bucky return the Infinity Stones, and return to a world drastically changed from the one Bucky left five years ago, and Bucky has to struggle with the knowledge that his best friend held Mjölnir, and at least briefly had the power of a god. So where does that leave an ex-brainwashed assassin?

Adorably awkward by darter_blue/ @darter-blue (Shrunkyclunks | 32K | Explicit): The one where Bucky uses Steve’s car window as a mirror and Steve can appreciate the view…

Extra Sugar, 32. the future by luninosity/ @luninosity (Evanstan, Dom/Sub AU | 112K | Explicit): Sebastian's feeling anxious about a change. Chris will always want to help. (Part 6 of 💙Like Sugar (Spell It Out))

💙 Songbird by chicklette/ @chicklette (Singer Bucky, Fake relationship | 66K | Explicit): At 43, James Barnes is a washed up old man. He’s got a dozen Grammys in the hall closet, an agent that can’t get him a deal, a decade-old case of writer’s block, a moody teen-aged daughter, and the gorgeous actress Natasha Romanova for an ex-wife. Enter Steven Grant Rogers, struggling twenty-something, orphan, and someone who has no idea who Barnes is. The two men meet by accident, doing nothing more than passing the time in a quiet bar. But when a pap gets a shot of the two men embracing, Bucky takes it as a chance to finally come out as bisexual, and his agent makes him a proposition: Ten new songs and one very sweet boyfriend will get him a new record deal that will maybe, just maybe put him back on top. Now all he has to do is write the songs, convince the kid, and not fall in love. Should be easy, right?

💙 Heirloom by 2bestfriends/ @addyetc (Royalty AU, Arranged Marriage | 21K | Explicit): King Steven Grant Rogers of Aphekion is only 20 years old. He relies on the wisdom of his advisors, the strength and honesty of his people, and the love and kindness his mother left to him. He wants nothing more than to honor them all by bringing peace to his kingdom. So much has been sacrificed already. If he must sacrifice his hope for love, then so be it.

WIP

💙 Querencia by SinpaiCasanova (Royalty, ABO AU, Tudor Era | 4/6 | 14K | Explicit): “Oh no, Mother, not another courting ceremony,” Steve protests, a whine slipping into his voice that he’d be rather embarrassed about if anyone other than Sarah ever heard it. “I beg you, no more. I can’t go through that puffed up charade again, being paraded before a dozen worthy Omegas like I’m some prime cut of meat. She probably won’t even like me.” “Well, Steven,” she gently corrects, “she is a he, and the only one you’d be ‘paraded’ in front of.”

💙 Sergeant Barnes and Colonel Rogers: Lessons in Lust, Longing and Inappropriate Erections. by darter_blue/ @darter-blue (Shrunkyclunks | 3/4 | 17K | Explicit): Bucky Barnes is a decorated (though young) Sergeant in the United States Army, a Ranger with the 75th regiment, a sniper of unparalleled skill; he still expects his first day as an Avenger to be challenging. He is not at all prepared for the greatest challenge to be one hot as fuck, steely eyed, Colonel Rogers. More specifically, he is not expecting the greatest challenge to be keeping his dick under control whenever Colonel Rogers, with his broad shoulders and his authoritative command and his fucking thick, gorgeous beard, enters into Bucky’s immediate vicinity.

💙 (i will) leave a light on by crinklefries/ @spacerenegades (Post-Endgame, Canon Divergent | 4/7 | Explicit): Twice a day, every day, Steve lights the lantern at the top of the lighthouse.One day, every year, a door opens and Bucky steps through. This is the story of how Steve and Bucky reclaim all of the years they've lost and what Valhalla means to someone who's willing to wait for it.

💙 Tender is the Ghost by Hark_bananas/ @harkbananas (Post-WS | 8/12 | 97K | Explicit): This thought is uncontrollably followed by another one: I’m not alone anymore. He looks over his shoulder, through the kitchen door, to where Bucky is sitting at his usual place at the head of the dining table, and he feels an unconstrainable smile breaking out across his face, the barest hint of threatening tears along its bright edge. Bucky is still looking past Steve’s left ear, but slowly, gingerly, one side of his mouth quirks up. Steve feels giddy, he wants to shout, or faint, or something to relieve the carbonated pressure that is bubbling up inside of him. Instead, he laughs, short and cheerful, and opens the oven door. (Part 2 of Tender is the Ghost)

💙 sharpen your teeth (tell yourself that it’s just business) by voxofthevoid/ @voxofthevoid (Post-WS | 1/2 | 8K | Explicit): He stays because it’s safe, because Hydra cannot get to him here, because Rogers—still waiting for his dead friend to claw his way out of the Winter Soldier’s broken psyche—will go to the ends of the earth to find him if they do. So he watches Rogers watch him, and Barnes doesn’t know what he’s looking for, but he knows he has found it the first time he sees Rogers’s eyes drop down to his lips and dart guiltily away. Barnes pretends he doesn’t notice and unlike Rogers, he can act. The Red Room made him well, and Hydra could ruin only so much. He changes his act, a few weeks in. He starts looking back.

💙 Revenance by JJK/ @trenchcoatsandtimetravel, SinpaiCasanova (The Old Guard AU/The Song of Achilles AU | 4/? | 11K | Mature): And perhaps it is the greater grief, after all, to be left on earth when another is gone. Or, the one where Steve and Bucky are immortal and used to be known as Achilles and Patroclus.

Re-read

Leg Day by Brokenpitchpipe (Shrunkyclunks | 12K | Explicit): Or: The one where Sam is Bucky's long-suffering roommate, Bucky is a hot mess of a millennial, and Hot Steve spends far too much time on the Lat Pull-Down machine.

the sound of rain on tin by luninosity/ @luninosity (Stucky & Evanstan Crossover | 3/4 | Teen): Okay, Bucky thought. He could deal with sudden universe-hopping. He’d seen weirder things. Hell, he himself probably counted as a weirder thing, brainwashed cryogenically frozen former legendary assassin and all.Chris, who looked like Steve, but who wasn't Steve, stared at him some more.

#stucky #stucky fic #stucky fanfic #stucky fanfiction #stucky fic rec #weekly recap

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shortkingzuko · 3 years

Text

title: loves’ cold embrace

relationship: hama/kanna

mentions of canon typical violence

summary: She misses the chill of the tundra, the crashing of the ocean and the shattering screams of icebergs colliding. She misses the soft embrace of caribou fur and leather in her parka and the softer embrace of the woman she was stolen from. She misses the howling winds that used to sing her to sleep as they passed over the great iced plains, and the gentle voices of her family as they laughed and needled each other. The ocean that used to live in her chest is now a desert, barren and dry. -- OR;Like the moon in the sky, Hama's love never really leaves her.

this is the fic i wrote for @avatar-rarepair-exchange-2021 :~)

read it on ao3 (and get the rest of my tags and notes) or read it under the cut !!

Hama doesn’t think too much about her childhood. It makes her feel too mournful, too angry, too beholden to feelings that, at her age, her heart can’t afford to feel. What few memories that do creep into her consciousness are so wrapped in nostalgia and childhood innocence that Hama can’t even recall if they’re real or fabrications of what she wishes she lived. Certainly, she had caught fish with her family, but were the nets ever as lively as she remembers? Was her girlhood parka truly that soft and was that wind actually so forgiving against her cheeks? Hama doesn’t dwell on it, simply letting the fuzzy memories tumble in her head, comforting, warm, forgotten and ignored.

There are two memories, two days, which consistently force their way to the forefront of her mind, drawing her attention and draining her energy. One, of course, is the day she was taken from her hold, stolen, like an amputation performed without so much as a strip of leather to go between her teeth. And in contrast to the searing pain of that one, the other is much kinder. Softer, warmer, more friendly in its own way.

At the age of fifteen Hama was proud and kind and bored, days of choring and practicing and schooling all blending together into barely distinguishable slush, finally broken by the announcement that a girl on a boat with a blue sail was approaching. Almost half the village rushed to see the newcomer, and Hama pushed her way to the front of the crowd, only a few heads behind the chief and other warriors, just in time to see the girl pulling her boat up the icy shore.

Her face was sharp and her lips chapped from weeks uncountable at sea. Her clothing was familiar but strange, the patterns and beading not quite right, the shade of the leather just a bit off, but almost recognizable. Her boat was wrecked but its pieces would be salvageable for other things, and the chief softly told her that her trip was a one-way one. Hama could never forget the fierceness that laid behind the girl’s eyes, the determination in her voice as she said, “I know.”

She brought news of the location of Fire Nation ships, bags of leathers and dyes and scrolls that had been unseen in the South for decades, and perseverance that seems to infect everyone with whom she spoke. Her name was Kanna, she was from the Northern Water Tribe, and, to Hama’s delight, she was here to stay.

In the weeks that followed Kanna’s arrival, Hama can barely separate herself from the older girl. Everything about Kanna was just so interesting - the stories of her travels, the few morsels that she would share of her life in the Northern Tribe, her laugh, the way she styled her hair, the different ways that she tried to fish - everything about her made Hama want to cling to her and never let go, like the barnacle at the haul of a ship. To her delight, Kanna didn’t seem to mind. Anytime Hama called to her from across the village square, Kanna would always wait, smile back at her, unmoving until Hama caught up and they could both continue on their day.

She doesn’t recall when they shared their first kiss, or who first pressed their lips against the other. All she remembers is the warmth of her cheeks after it happened, how her lips tinged, and how excited she was when it happened again. Was the tone playful? Was it shy? Was Hama pretending to be cooler, more mature than she actually felt? (Hama knows, almost for certain, that the latter is correct.)

Hama knew that she was beautiful, knew that she was smart and impressive and that many other teenagers would fall over themselves to try and keep her attention, and yet it was Kanna’s sly smile and gentle gaze which made Hama feel weak in the knees and made her feel like the ocean lived inside her chest. They shared soft kisses, giggling in-between the press of their lips. They slipped each other’s hands into the sleeves of the other’s parka, embraced each other tightly and often when they were supposed to be working. Kanna’s hands were strong - as evident by her ability to haul even the most lively nets out of frigid water and by her tendency to make the string on bows just a bit too taut - and yet she only ever cupped Hama’s face with the utmost care, running a calloused thumb over Hama’s lips, and only ever playfully tugging on her ears to get her to hurry up. The gentleness itself was not uncommon - Hama remained beloved by her family, her friends, and her waterbending teachers, even with the exciting arrival of the Northerner - but when it came from Kanna it felt more special than Hama cared to admit.

It was a sweet, simple existence, one that Hama was tricked into believing could exist forever. Black snow may fall, fish populations may dwindle, and one by one, Hama’s teachers and family may disappear, but surely she would be next to Kanna forever.

Of course, that was a belief that Hama soon realized to be false.

The Fire Nation prison was a pain like nothing Hama had experienced before. Beyond the chains that dig into her skin, and the sharp sting of hands and batons against her flesh, and the endless jeers and insults that the scum that keep her confined throw at her, there is an ache, one that dulls with time but never leaves. The distance from the ocean, from her ocean, pulls at her heart and at her core, begging her to return, seemingly uncaring that if she could, she would. For the first months and years, the moon seems to taunt her through the skylight, staring down at her, unhelpful and cruel in her judgment.

The only pain worse than unbecoming, the twisting and dimming of self, is the reformation that follows it. The destruction of all Hama once knew about herself, the bending and breaking of who she was and its eventual obscuration. In a way, it’s freeing. In a way, it feels like damnation.

Hama thinks back to the girl who grew up in the South Pole and the girl who sat and rotted in a cell. She feels like a distant friend, a playmate she outgrew but loved dearly. The line which connects herself to that woman of the past is tenuous, well-worn, threadbare, yet still intact. She picks up the mantle that that girl left behind and carries it with her, ignoring the aches and pains that the weight of it gives her. When Hama escapes the prison, she’s so parched she can’t even cry as she mourns for herself.

She escapes, but she cannot leave. She has neither a ship to sail nor the sea legs that she once did. When the moon dips below the horizon it takes her strength with it and she is back to her weakened state. Even if she could get a boat, Hama wouldn’t be fit to waterbend home for many months, maybe years, and she knows that without it she will surely die at sea. The thought is almost tempting.

Being away from her home fills her with many emotions. Fear, shame, confusion, anger, longing. She misses the chill of the tundra, the crashing of the ocean and the shattering screams of icebergs colliding. She misses the soft embrace of caribou fur and leather in her parka and the softer embrace of the woman she was stolen from. She misses the howling winds that used to sing her to sleep as they passed over the great iced plains, and the gentle voices of her family as they laughed and needled each other. The ocean that used to live in her chest is now a desert, barren and dry.

The Fire Nation itself is as much a prison as the cell she escaped from, but as Hama decorates the house she built with trinkets and blankets and as many splashes of blue as she thinks she can afford. She convinces herself that it’ll have to do for now. She gains some of her strength back, bids her time as she forces a smile to the citizens who would hang her by the neck if they knew what she truly was. She gains their trust, even delivers a few babies that will grow up to slaughter the innocent. It’s not a home, not peace, the life she carves out for herself, but it’s enough to survive on.

Hama focuses on her anger, letting it simmer in her chest, flowing through her like the tides, waxing and waning with the moon. She has neither nation nor family in the destructive land that she lives in, has neither home nor comfort nor love to soothe the piercing ache in her chest and soul. All her joys are temporary, fleeting, ending when she feels the urge to turn to her mother or siblings or Kanna and has to accept, once again, that they are not next to her. Hama holds onto her anger like a beggar grips a silver coin, edges cutting into her palms and dirt getting into her wounds. She holds onto her anger because she knows without it all she has left is the stillness of the ocean after a storm.

Even the half-life Hama carves out for herself doesn’t last forever. The little waterbending master shows up, with a face so similar to her dear Kanna’s, and beats her at her own game. There is a whispering pride to any master that is bested by a student, but mostly Hama is tired. Burned out and smouldering. The Fire Nation takes her away in chains once again, and Hama disgusts herself with how quickly she resigns to her fate.

Guards spend little time with Hama, and she’s kept at a distance from the windows. Still, the stone tomb that they keep her in echoes, and soon she hears whispers of the war ending, the prospect of future peace out on the horizon. Hama doesn’t know how to feel, knowing that the world may enter a time of peace and that she is still locked away like an animal. Perhaps the Southern Water Tribe will be able to flourish again. Perhaps a small part of her spirit can finally rest.

She figures that whatever the future holds, she will not be privy to it. The Fire Nation was all too happy to lock her up and throw away the key, and Hama doubts anyone back home remembers her enough to ask after her - even so, anyone she knew who is still alive probably thinks she’s dead.

And yet, she gets a visitor, soon after the guards have whispered about a boy taking the throne. The visitor walks to her cell without fear, looks at her through the bars with sadness, not disgust. His eyes are familiar, and Hama knows that he is from the Southern Water Tribe before he announces it. She doesn’t dare call what ignites in her chest hope, even when he tells her that he’s chief. Hakoda of the Southern Water Tribe. It echoes in her head, like the dripping of a tap that hasn’t been turned off.

He comes back more than once, all within a few days of each other. Each time with sadness and respect in his eyes, telling Hama about the political ongoings of the world, of their home, of Hakoda’s family. Apparently, the little waterbending master that sent Hama to her new cell is Hakoda’s daughter, a fact he tells her embarrassedly, asking for forgiveness.

Hama shrugs. It’s too hard to be angry without hope to do anything with it.

“Will you continue to visit?” Hama asks, instead of answering. “I hear that negotiations are coming to a close.”

“Where did you hear that?”

“Oh, you know. At the market.” Hakoda cracks a smile at her attempt at a joke.

“That’s actually what I was meaning to tell you,” He says, shifting on the stool that he sits on. Hama raises a thin eyebrow. “Part of the negotiations are about you.”

“...Oh,” Hama says.

“It’s… tricky,” Hakoda continues, either oblivious to or ignoring Hama’s silence. “The Fire Lord, Zuko, uh, is worried about what some of his new ministers will say if he allows your release, and it’s complicating-”

“Release?” Hama questions, furrowing her brows.

“What? Of course, release. We’re trying to get all the surviving Water Tribe prisoners back. Your case is just a little more… controversial, so it’s taken some time to sort everything out.”

Hama almost laughs. “And, supposing it takes much longer?”

Hakoda looks ashamed as he says, “If it takes much longer to sort out, then I will have to return home with the prisoners that have already been released, but I’m not abandoning you here. We have to leave delegates here to deal with other reparations, and we’ll make sure that you coming home is always a priority.”

Hama doesn’t know what to say to that. The prospect of returning home after so long, it excites her, fills her heart with a flurry of anxious joy that can’t be tamped down, regardless of her attempts to remain practical.

“Unless… you don’t want to come home?”

“Of course I do,” Hama snaps, despite her best efforts. “Of course I do… I want nothing more.”

Hakoda smiles, tiredly, and Hama feels her age when she looks at him and sees a young man who is worked down to his bone. “As long as you do, I’ll keep fighting for you.”

Hama smiles, and in the heat of her cell, she feels the comforting breeze of home. “Please, Chief Hakoda, tell me about Kanna’s beading again.”

The chill of the Water Tribe greets her like an old friend, long before she can see the land. It nibbles at her old joints, makes her nose and ears pink with delight, and Hama puts off slipping the donated parka over her head for as long as possible, relishing in the welcoming sting of the wind. The anorak isn’t hers, of course, and the fit is a little off, but Hakoda tells her that his mother - her Kanna - can help her sew a new one, and as soon as everything is settled the hunters will go out to hunt.

Hama spends as much time on the deck of the ship as she can, knowing that she’s certainly getting in the way of all the warriors and deckhands who are too polite or pitying to ask her to move. She doesn’t want to miss the first sign of land, the first sign of home in countless moons.

It feels like her heart is being returned to her chest when she spots the first mountain peak, the first thin trail of smoke from a friendly hearth, and then the first gleam of packed ice forming familiar igloos. When they finally reach the shore and, amongst the crowd of faces peering at her with admiration, confusion, sadness, anger, and joy, she spots the unmistakable face of Kanna, it feels like her heartbeat has finally been returned.

It’s a strange shock, to see the face that she thought of so often so different from last she saw it. Everything about her is different; her hair, her skin, her clothing, even her height has changed as a consequence of her more hunched form, and yet she is still the most beautiful woman that Hama has ever laid her sights on.

Hama has so little hope, she refuses to waste it on the implausible notion of returning to Kanna. It is clear that Kanna has lived a full life without her, she has a son who is chief, two lovely (if annoying and persistently optimistic) grandchildren, and the respect of the entire village. The girl in Hama’s memories is not the woman wrapping her arms around her, not the woman pulling Hama into her chest and crying into her shoulder, not the woman whispering thanks to the spirits as she exclaims how much she’s missed Hama.

Being back in Kanna’s arms feels the same as it did to see the glistening mountains from the sea. It feels like coming home. Kanna leads her back to her home, grasping her arm the entire time, and tells her that they’ll start building Hama her own house soon, but in the meantime, she is welcome to stay with Kanna’s family.

“I believe your granddaughter will object to that,” Hama says. Kanna nods.

“Yes, she will,” Kanna replies, the love in her voice unmistakable. “If her remarks get too snide, let me know and I’ll make her wash the dishes for a month.”

Hama is right- Katara displeased with Hama’s presence in their home, as is Sokka. But Kanna’s firm gaze and Chief Hakoda’s unsubtle attempts to pull them off to the side for conversations keep the children’s tone from getting too snippy and makes them bite their tongues most days. The anger and fear are mostly gone from their gazes and it is the memory of the last encounter in the Fire Nation that fuels their emotions. Sometimes when Hama wakes suddenly in the night, and patters out from Kanna’s bedroom trying to calm her heart rate, she’ll see Katara or Sokka, hunched by the fire. In those moments, they share a quiet moment of understanding, a moment of recognition, of being souls who are hurt and have hurt more than their bodies ever wanted, and the children seem extra conflicted when the day finally comes.

Hama doesn’t fault them for it. She’s a little pleased that they’ve latched onto the relief that comes with vengeance, how right it feels to dwell on past anger. Kanna scolds her when Hama explains her philosophy to her, says that it’s no good to dwell on the unchangeable past instead of the influenceable future.

“What good is looking towards tomorrow if you don’t remember the injustices of yesterday?” Hama asks, stretching out her hands that are stiff from sewing. The fabric of the Fire Nation was so thin and delicate - almost uselessly so - and it’s difficult to transition back to sewing the thick materials of the south.

Kanna hums as she considers Hama’s question. This is a new development, to Hama at least. The Kanna of her memories was quick as a whip, her words always at the tip of her tongue, ready to fly out as soon as anyone else had stopped talking. This Kanna, in contrast, tends to consider what has been said before speaking. She mulls things over before replying, taking her time to come up with important answers.

“There’s a difference between remembering and dwelling,” is what Kanna opts for. “You don’t need to keep the fire in your chest burning any longer.”

Kanna sets down her needle and reaches out to grasp Hama’s hand. Her grip is firm and Hama knows that it is full of love.

“You have me to warm you now.” And while that doesn’t erase the years of turmoil that Hama has lived, while it doesn’t uncloud her sight with cynicism, in this one regard, Kanna is right.

They’re both worn and weary, Hama knows, in different ways. Gone is the softness that used to surround them, the air of innocence that falsely clung to them, as it does to all children in a war, the optimistic spark in their eyes that betrayed the facade of realism that they tried to put up. They’re both old now, more cynical (Neither of them really trust the child that now sits on the Fire Nation throne, regardless of what Kanna’s son and grandchildren say), and there are so few worlds left for them to venture together. Sometimes, Hama wonders what could Kanna possibly think to achieve, with her gentle touches and kisses filled with light.

Still, Kanna walks with her, arm in arm, as they go through the village. Kanna sits with her in bed in the mornings as they wait for a pot of water to boil for their breakfast. They weave blankets and stitch clothing together, and each time Kanna makes sure to scoot her chair over so that they’re pressed close to one another.

Hama isn’t foolish enough to think that she and Kanna were fated, but she does concede that perhaps Kanna has always been it for her. The distant glow of the horizon, the glint way off in the future beckoning her closer, the sparkle of possibility, maybe it’s always just been Kanna.

Kanna’s lips are no longer plush and smooth; they’ve become wrinkled and thinner with age, but they’re no less soft, and they hold no less love than they did over fifty years ago. When they press against Hama’s own lips, they press with as much care and joy as they did when both of them were more youthful, and Kanna still sneaks kisses to Hama’s cheeks at the moment before they leave their home to go outside. As if Hama would ever try to stop her if she knew they were coming.

The tenderness, the softness, with which Kanna holds her is enough that sometimes Hama can fool herself into imagining that they’ve had a long life together. That they’ve never been apart since that day that Kanna dragged her boat up the shore and filled Hama’s heart with light.

Hama has lived an entire life away from her beating heart, an era where her love was not by her side. She holds no false illusions - Kanna has also lived a life without Hama. One that was full of love and tragedy and life and death. She has a beautiful and headstrong family to prove it, has the respect of the whole tribe and enough wit to make sure that everyone knows it. Kanna got the chance to share her love with others, while Hama spent years half-wondering what could have been, wondering if their love could have lasted, wondering if she truly loved the beautiful girl from the North or just loved the idea of being in love with her. An entire lifetime of wonder and worry and pain, only to be soothed by Kanna’s unspoken assurance that their hearts will henceforth beat as one.

She is too old to imagine a grand future of adventure anymore, too old to want that future as well. The future she wants is one of peaceful walks and holding hands until she has to let go because her joints ache. A future of asking for help to braid her hair, and of feeling Kanna’s rough, gentle hands as they caress her face and neck while collecting all the strands. Grinning when she feels gentle lips press against her neck before she finishes getting dressed. Feigning interest in the indecipherable speech of toddlers and impressing children with simple waterbending tricks. Laughing at the antics of young men with egos that are too large and laughing at the young women who still swoon over them. Cooking for a family. Being part of a family. Seeing a smile before falling asleep.

Hama is too old to be an optimist but she thinks she has a pretty good shot at finally living the life she wants.

#m #my fic #avatar rarepair exchange #hama/kanna #hama #kanna #atla

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vasoula · 4 years

Text

The Peepshow

Summary: Two months after his redemption journey, Sasuke is back to Konoha and Sakura couldn’t be more happy about them spending a lot of time together. However, things take a hard turn when Sakura is assigned a special mission and she has to hide it from the rest of Team 7. Everything comes spiraling down when Sasuke finds out exactly what she has to do.

Tags: hard rated m, blank period, kinda AU-ish

Author’s notes: Please read, thank you!

Hello sasusaku fandom, it’s me ya girl, back after so many years to join the fandom once more. I have been missing this couple dearly and after going through a lot of fanarts, I stumbled upon my favorite girl and biggest inspiration strawberrycreampiefluff. She had made a mini doujinshi years ago, and I wanted to create a story about it so badly. So, I contracted her, got her blessings and created this mini monster fic you will read below (which she will hopefully recreate into a full fanart comic when she finds time - love you girl! - please support my friend’s art, it’s amazing!). This is a collab between us sort of. The first chapter is like a prologue - introduction to get the gist of things. This takes place after the last, but before sasusaku travels, kind of an alternate way of how sasusaku got together. I tried to keep the characters as close to canon as possible and this my first official full chaptered fic, so please be kind and leave comments and likes to show your opinion and support.

You can also read it on fanfiction and Ao3.

Next chapter

“Act one: Different mission objectives”

Haruno Sakura walks briskly towards the Hokage tower, her high-heeled shinobi sandals clanking against the pavement as she makes her presence known to the people who pass by. A few heads turn around, mostly males, to stare at her. She is known as one of the most beautiful women – if not the most – in Konoha. As the Fifth’s apprentice, she is working at the hospital as the top chief and she is well respected by shinobi villages all around the world for her talent in medical jutsu.

Sakura is currently dressed her hospital clothes, because her shift at the hospital just ended. She is wearing a button up white shirt that’s left slightly unbuttoned when it reaches her chest, a short black skirt and her white medical robe on top. She is heading to meet Tsunade who just asked for her to be present at her office immediately. The pink haired girl already knows what that means and what it entails.

It is a new mission.

That has to be it. It has been months since the last one, and her working hard as a medical ninja limited her chances of being sent into one. She is more than ready for it. However, she has a feeling this is only the start of bad news. Knowing her teacher, it has to be a special kind of mission. Being called so suddenly like that also gives her the heads up to guess the genre of it.

It must be a flower mission.

Yes, flower, Sakura thinks and nods to herself after waving at some people who greet her.

Flower mission is a term for female ninjas only. It is a code for a seduction mission.

Going and especially accepting a seduction mission is a big step for shinobi women. It is a very sensitive topic and it needs to be handled delicately and in secrecy. It is a powerful weapon which when used correctly, the mission will be done easily or quickly depending on the execution.

The three-man team pattern has most young girls create bonds or worse falling in love and it makes them attached in one way or another to their male teammates. That is why most ninja women have a difficulty seducing another man. The life of a ninja is usually short; you never know what could happen and the kunoichis value the idea of love. Still though, a woman’s power is strong and every kunoichi succeeds efficiently in their own little style.

The moment Sakura comes into the office, Tsunade’s head snaps up. The two women hold eye-contact for a few seconds before the younger medic closes the door behind her with a soft thud.

No one else is in the room, so Sakura guesses that whatever the fifth Hokage is about to tell her must be something of importance. She makes her way into the room and with elegant movements sits down on the chair that is positioned right in front of the desk. There are no formalities between apprentice and teacher when no one is around to watch, and since Tsunade made no sign to stop her, she also speaks first.

“Tsunade-sama, you called me.” It is not a question, but it is not a mere observation either.

The older woman sighs and puts her folded hands beneath her chin. Her eyes close for a moment and then she lifts her head upwards, giving Sakura a fond and soft look like a proud mother would give to her grown up child. A blonde strand escapes from her well-made and low ponytail and her red manicured fingers come forth to tag it back to place. An elegant move, and there is no wonder where Sakura took her beautiful ways from.

“Yes, I did,” Tsunade pauses for a second and then hastily continues, going straight to the point. There is no time for pleasantries. “I have a new mission for you.”

There is no surprise on Sakura’s face and Tsunade cannot tell if she already knew what her intentions are or she has simply masked her face with a facade of indifference. A true kunoichi right there, but then again…it could be the influence of a certain brooding male.

Before Sakura could ask more, Tsunade beat her into it and answers to her unspoken question. “It is a seduction mission.”

This time the girl reacts instantly and she blinks profusely, pink eyelashes fanning rosy cheeks repeatedly. “A-ah,” Sakura lets out a squeaky response, knowing the consequences of such mission.

So I was right! It is a flower mission, she thinks and curses mentally. Here come the arising problems and she has not even started yet.

“I know, but believe me, I have no choice,” Tsunade put her palms atop of the desk and she pushes her chair back slightly, “This mission is specifically made for you.”

The woman knows what she is doing to her student right now, but seriously the girl is one of the best out there. Her exotic looks and endless beauty draws men like magnets to her. Besides, with her alluring ways and witty personality, she can bend even iron willed males, for example, Sasuke Uchiha.

Sakura has already made a list of problems at the back of her mind and her inner self screams in horror.

This is her first official seduction mission. How the hell is she supposed to break the news to rest of Team 7? She cannot straight go up to them and tell them. Naruto will surely react instantly and whine about it until the next decade. She has a feeling Kakashi, being trained under Tsunade, might already know something about this mission and that leaves her with one last important person to tell.

The man her heart yearns for.

After coming back from his redemption journey, Sasuke was a changed man. He was everything she had hoped for. Some parts of his character still remained the same that go back to his genin days, but she saw a new side of him that has been hidden for years, buried deep within all the hatred he harbored for most of his life. The last Uchiha has always been a cool character with a calculating thought process. The difference now was that he was free from the hatred and sins that plagued most of his life.

That is where the healing took place – right at this heart.

While he was away he helped many people during his journey across all the lands. That in return helped him find himself. He learned to love himself again and he stopped being angry at the world. He saw life from a different perspective and by the time he returned the storm inside his mind was calm once more.

Sakura’s heart flourished when he came back two months ago.

The two have been spending time together more than ever. They hang out after Sakura’s shifts at the hospital during the day either alone or with the rest of Team 7, sometimes including Sai. Other days, when their schedules are not so busy, Naruto comes and collects each one of them so they can have dinner at Ichiraku just the three of them. On special occasions, when the Hokage in training feels extra giddy, he will bring Hinata along and they will have something akin to double dates as he likes to call them.

It is an unspoken secret that the relationship between Sasuke and Sakura is a complicated one. They are at the stage where sometimes they act like they are together or other times they are on the verge of being in a relationship. Sakura knows what she is feeling that is for sure. The pure, unwavering love she feels for him is rooted deep within her and grows everyday as she watches him be happier and calmer before her eyes. They have had their moments of intimacy together before. Instances where they became close - she remembers those intense feelings they shared through eye contact and hushed whispers when they were left alone.

The first one was after the war when Sasuke was in prison. The first time he expressed his feelings towards what had happened between them all those years. All the wrong and the ugly parts of himself he wanted to distinguish himself from.

In those quiet moments in the dark where he could not see, his eyes sealed like the criminal he was, he told her the truth. He trusted her now to reveal the ugly truth of Konoha and its elders. He divulged all the hardships his brother, Itachi Uchiha, had to endure to bring peace to the world. In a whisper, he confessed all about his clan like a dirty secret -like he was the sinner and she was the priest. And like the true healer she was, Sakura helped him see the good in him that she knew was still there and gave him disclosure. He accepted her kind words once more with a simple nod and a quiet thank you. But for Sakura, at the current time, it was more than enough. She saw the change in him. It was a small start but she would accept it. The young woman had endured harder things in the past after all.

Later that night, when she cried angry tears at the unfairness of the world, because now she knew finally about the Uchiha massacre, she knew all of them had to endure something hard in their lives and learn to live with it. But god if it did not hurt her that he was the one left suffering the most. And she just wished, she hoped, her love was enough to heal that part of himself that was trying to recover.

The second one was when he left for his redemption journey. While they had spend a few moments together before he left, nothing compares to that single experience. She knew she had to wait for him again, but this time it was not a tear jerking moment with her heart lurching in her throat. No, this time, it was her mind buzzing with all the implications his fingers left on her forehead and the fond look he was giving her.

The third one was when the Konoha 12 had their first night all together again. Of course Naruto had a hand in organizing once again. That little rascal, Sakura had thought then fondly. This guy was always trying his best to bring people together and he was doing a damn good job at it. The fact that he was able to persuade Sasuke into an outing like that was a feat itself.

Everything was going smoothly until the drinks started pouring in. Shots after shots of sake had Sakura feeling pleasantly tipsy that night, but she was not the only with that effect of alcohol on her. Somehow everyone had more than a little in their system and that did not exclude the moody male of Team 7. He was acting normal alright, Sakura would have told you, she was sure of it. But then, Ino Yamanaka, her notorious best friend was dragging her along the dance floor and she could not help but feel a hot stare at the back of her head. Goosebumps arising on her skin had her on edge. She knew then he was blatantly staring at her and he was not trying to hide it in the slightest. It was like then everyone knew what going on and her axis had sifted on its head. She could not fathom this would be the place where Sasuke would lose all his inhibitions, much less with everyone watching in anticipation his next moves. Naruto on the other hand, unbeknownst to her, was throwing just the right comments here and there, making Sasuke see Sakura from a different perspective. About time, if you had asked Naruto; he watched Sasuke analyze Sakura dancing as if she was a riddle ready to be solved.

Sasuke, at the hot age of twenty, was now a young man and finding a woman attractive was the natural course of life. However, for him these new profound feelings confused him. He did not know what he was feeling and all he wanted to do now was stare at Sakura until his eyes tired themselves out. He was ready to activate his sharingan just so he could commit that image to his memory.

That feeling in his chest was starting to bother him though and suddenly he felt all the stares on him from the intense chakra he was producing. Looking around he felt second hand embarrassment for himself, his ears getting red. Getting a shot of sake from the nearby table, Sasuke gulped down its contents and got ready to leave his position at the bar. He could not handle to keep his emotions in check any longer and this was bad. He was not ready to admit to himself what he was feeling and trying to suppress it any longer could do more harm than good. Better he left the situation right now before he put him and Sakura in a compromising position he was not ready to handle yet.

Right at that moment, Sakura decided to turn around, her dress sticking to her like a vice from all the sweat her intense dancing had caused. One look at Sasuke had time freezing. They held an intense eye contact for a few seconds, and her heart fluttered in her chest. She saw the change in him, she has seen that look before when other men had stared her way in the past. It was then she knew, tonight had been something more to him even though nothing has transpired between them yet. Maybe Sasuke was not ready to acknowledge these feelings yet, but Sakura had hope that this was the start of something new between them.

Feeling bold she started to approach him, confident in herself and brave enough thanks to the alcohol she had consumed. The moment she moved, she saw him flatter in his steps. He was about to leave and escape. The fearless Sasuke Uchiha was scared of what was transpiring between them, but she was not about to let him have his chance to escape this time. Sakura saw his jaw clenching and his hand flattering at his side from its place at the bar stool. He stared at her unblinkingly, waiting for her next move like they were about to have a fight at the training grounds.

Sakura then approached the bar like she owned the place and opened her mouth to say the most simple words known to existence.

“Hey, Sasuke”, she greeted in a whoosh, a breathless exclamation. She leaned against the bar stool and waited for the inevitable dismissal of denial.

Sakura found herself surprised however when he went rigid and leaned forward his towering body over her like he was about to whisper a dirty secret in her ear.

“You are different from the last time I remember you,” He confessed hotly, his mouth near her neck. If it was not for the obvious fact that she knew him well, any other person would have thought he was drunkenly leaning on her, but Sakura is not anybody and she understands this the way of him hiding his emotions from showing on his face in the shadows her neck provides.

What a weird way of seeking comfort from his own shyness, Sakura thought.

She idly recalled then that they were not in fact alone and Naruto was right behind them. When he started making obscene signs with his hands Sakura felt herself flush from head to toe, but the murderous glint in her eyes was apparently enough to stop Naruto’s crudeness.

“Eh, Sasuke-kun, what do you mean?”, she asked hesitantly, her hand raising and resting on Sasuke’s back in a sense of comfort. The soft material of his black shirt damp against her palm.

They were almost approaching the stage of hugging right in front of everybody.

Before they could complete the hug though, Sasuke’s head turned to the left, his cheek almost brushing against Sakura’s. The pink haired girl shyly turned her head slightly towards his direction, their faces almost touching. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the effect he still had on her and damn him if he he did not thrive on it.

He could think of all the nice things he could say to her, now it was the perfect time to take a step closer to approaching the inevitable connection they have. But his mind had other plans when the words slipped out of his mouth. In a teasing manner he was only capable of, he smirked and said, “More annoying than ever.”

He was sure she must have caught on his teasing by now. Using bitter words of the past to heal their wounds by putting another meaning to it. She was a smart woman and she could understand his actions better than anyone.

Sasuke knew she had caught on when he felt her fist punch lightly his stomach as if to punish him for insulting her.

“That is not a very nice way of complimenting someone, Sasuke-kun,” she whispered angrily, facing him completely. Any traces of wonder were gone from her emerald eyes replaced with mirth and she continued, smiling menacingly at him, “I thought I taught you better than that.”

“Hm,” Sasuke hummed in response and stood straight once again, looking down at her.

By now they had become a spectacle to their friends, the black haired male could feel Naruto almost bristling with excitement from behind him and he was not about to disappoint his friend who has been pestering him to get on with his feelings already.

“I guess we should spend more time together so I can get better at it.”

The double meaning behind his words was evident.

Sasuke Uchiha then patted Sakura Haruno’s head like it was the most natural thing in the world to do and smiled down at her gently.

His female teammate took a big breath through her nose, rosy cheeks glowing, and crossed her arms across her chest. She had him where she wanted him.

“Damn right we should!”

That was one week ago from her current position at the Hokage office. Just when she was making a great progress with seducing Sasuke, she has to go and approach another man for a mission. Talk about making matters weird between them. The worst part is the fact that she has to tell him. She wonders what his reaction is going to be considering they are not together yet. Is he going to act jealous or indifferent?

Who is she kidding? He is just going to glare her with this stupid scary look he gives in assassination missions to terrify people off the moment the words come out of her mouth and that is it.

“I haven’t finished yet,” Tsunade literally saw the thoughts displayed across Sakura’s face. It is like her life passed before her eyes, and her skin got a tad paler.

“Of course there is more,” the pink haired girl mumbles sadly while looking down, but the Hokage lets it slide.

“You will have back-up,” Tsunade says and sees with the corner of her eye Sakura sucking in a breath, “the rest of Team 7 will be with you,” and then next thing she knows the girl is chocking on air.

“W-what?” Sakura coughed out, giving her teacher a desperate look.

She feels like she is the center of the world and it is slowly closing up on her. Life suddenly looks less appealing, because good old Team 7 is back on track again with Sakura’s first seduction mission as a head start.

“Tsunade-sama, please tell me you are joking.” The pink haired medic grabs the sides of the armchair and hopes it does not break and crumble along with her composure.

The young woman also hopes her teacher is having some kind of twisted pleasure out of this because she is certainly not feeling happy with the news.

Tsunade wants to reprimand her student for losing her temper, but she understands what the girl is going through and also knows she in no better position to talk when it comes to matters like this. Still though, ears and eyes are everywhere and they must keep a low profile when in the Hokage’s office.

“Sakura,” The curvy female looks at her seriously, “Team 7 will be the back-up of this mission and that’s final.”

I am doing it for your sake, Tsunade wants to say but keeps quiet instead.

Somehow, Sakura understands where her teacher is coming from. This will be a test for both sides. It is a test for her that is for sure. A test for patience, a test for her relationship, a test for her seduction abilities both on the target and Sasuke, because let’s be honest, who is going to calm down the last Uchiha other than her?

Sakura closes her eyes, takes a calming breath through her mouth and then controls the pattern as taught by Ino’s yoga lessons. She could do it this.

The young female opens her pretty green eyes once again and then stares at Tsunade straight in eye, a determined expression on her face. The will of fire is practically seeping through her and her fiery temper is burning up again but for another cause.

“That’s the spirit,” Tsunade says proudly and hands her the scroll that has been lying on the wooden desk the whole time. “This is your target, Misty Jade.”

The first thing Sakura does when she steps into the house is to check for a specific chakra signature around the area. Sasuke pays frequent visits to her house nowadays you would think he lived in there, having keys and all, but alas.

She lets out a long sigh of relief, glad that she did not detect Sasuke’s compelling presence. Thank heavens, cost is clear. The twenty year old girl suspects that the males of Team 7 had already been called to Tsunade’s office, the second she was out of the vicinity. She mentally praises her teacher and then she decides to prepare for battle. The kunoichi briefly wonders how the hell she is supposed to deal with this. She has no clue how to handle this.

Sakura runs upstairs, heading straight to the bedroom. She slams the door open, scroll still in hand, and starts rummaging through her things in order to pack. After a few minutes of checking everything, she put all the necessary items in her mission bag. From medical supplies to energy pills to scrolls to clothes to a sleeping bag and lastly to the money she will need for the seduction necessities she has to buy. Finally finished, she sits down on the bed, crumpling the blue silky sheets in the process. Then, Sakura unrolls the scroll and reads.

Mission #B039 Type: B-rank Specialist: F (female)

Stage: Pre Place: Village hidden in the Waterfalls

Target: Misao Takashi

Gender: Male

Age: 25 years old

Characteristics: Red hair, blue eyes and relatively tall.

Efficiency: Messenger

Information: Misao Takashi is an important messenger between two feud lords that control and lead illegal product transportations. Your mission is to seduce said messenger that has in his possession a folder with contract papers which contain info for the next meet up and also a pair of keys. This is the part one of the main ANBU mission that will follow after you succeed. Mission includes back-up. Good luck.

The kunoichi falls back on the bed with a flop, thinking how she should approach the mission. She idly scratches her scalp and tosses her body around from side to side, her long pink locks sprawled across the bed sheets moving along with her. Sakura knows what the village hidden in the Waterfalls is known for. And if her guesses are right, a guy like him would go to a special kind of place. The men of Team 7 will also go there.

“This is just great!” Sakura shouts even though no one is in the room.

She stares up at ceiling, her mind thinking of all the possibilities and scenarios. The pink haired girl knows what to do to succeed in this mission, however hiding from Sasuke is the main problem.

With huff she stands up and starts pacing around the room while babbling nonsense and muttering profanities out loud, until the idea hits her.

“Of course,” Sakura jumps on the bed, “Tsunade-shishou is the solution!”

She lies down, calm once again, and grabs a nearby pillow, squeezing it close to her chest. The warmth it provides calms her for a second, but she resists the urge to snuggle it closer. The girl can already imagine the Uchiha’s frown when she will tell him that she will be staying at Tsunade’s for a few days in order to work on some papers that have to do with the hospital.

Sakura just hopes he will believe it for her sake and for the sake of this mission.

❤︎

“It’s dirty and disgusting in here,” Sasuke mutters angrily, sitting uncomfortably on the animal print armchair, “Why do we even have to do this?”

The hot pink, soft and furry material irritates him even more as his elbow barely glides on it, making it difficult for him to nurse his drink. It is too warm, too velvety.

The last Uchiha almost growls out of sheer annoyance. This mission is far too low for his standards. He cannot believe he allowed himself to be dragged in here. His pride is hurt goddammit. Yes, he may be a man, but he has never set foot in a pleasure house. Or as his best friend and ex-sensei like to call it: a strip club.

The atmosphere is suffocating him, the lights are too dim. All kinds of different and hypnotizing aromas assault his senses, making his clear mind drunk and hazy. He cannot tell if it is his alcoholic beverage that is making him feel this way or it is the misty cloud of seduction and pleasure filled nights that surround this place.

The men of Team 7 have been assigned on a mission just yesterday as a backup to an ANBU specialist. Sasuke was definitely not pleased with the news, but he could not go against the fifth Hokage’s orders as much he wanted to, so he mildly complained until he was shushed by Tsunade. So, here they are today, in the place that their target and the other shinobi are supposed to be. Sasuke Uchiha, Naruto Uzumaki and Kakashi Hatake, being expert ninjas, have already detected the target sitting in the middle of the area, near the front. And now they have to wait. If something goes wrong, only then they are allowed to interfere.

“Focus, Sasuke.” Kakashi says calmly, a white hospital mask covering his face instead of his usual ninja attire. “A mission is a mission.”

The grey haired shinobi is collected as always, and Sasuke cannot help but scowl.

As if the ridiculous place is not enough problems, they were also forced to wear formal clothes. Supposedly, they are ordinary men looking for some fun and not ninjas who are capable of killing anyone in the room within seconds. Thus, the men of Team 7 have to make it believable by dressing up fancily to blend in with crowd and to stay undistinguished.

“Well, it’s not that bad in here.” Naruto tells them with a foxy grin on his face, clearly excited to be in a place like this. A slight blush is covering his cheeks since he has been consuming a few portions of alcohol for an hour now. The blond is pleasantly tipsy and happier than usual.

“Shut up Naruto,” Sasuke turns to his left and addresses his best friend, “If Hinata found out you’re here, she would dump you.”

Sasuke is very irritated, and that results to more insults and jibs than normal. He crosses his legs, right ankle meeting left knee, just to move and do something out of spite.

“T-That’s not true!” The man immediately tries to explain, “I told her it was a mission and she was okay with it!”

Naruto’s face visibly falls, and he looks at Sasuke with his puppy dog eyes. However, before the blonde could set off, being an emotional drunk and all, Sasuke just looks at other side, ready to ignore the impending whining.

Is he even allowed to be drinking on such mission? Kakashi better do something, Sasuke thinks, complaining inside his head instead.

“Don’t fight.” Their teacher interrupts, knowing how those two are and how bad they can get when Sakura is not around to stop them.

He has even given them just enough freedom, permitting them to drink, because he knows they are the back-up of this mission and not the main person. Kakashi strongly believes that intervention will not be needed, considering this an efficient ANBU specialist sent by the Hokage herself.

So, Kakashi just sits relaxed, waits and enjoys the show.

The oldest member of Team 7 is wearing a dark grey button-up shirt, the collar slightly open and a pair of black trousers. Naruto has a similar style, except he sports a nice pair of jeans with a light blue button-up shirt that makes his gorgeous eyes stand out more. Sasuke opts for a more classic style though, completing his look with black trousers, a white button-up shirt (with the first button undone) and an onyx suit jacket to top it off.

It is an extraordinary night today since the place is filled to the brim with men of all ages and from different villages, plus, the interior design of the club is full of pretty decorations. As the shining neon letters say outside on the wooden board above the club’s name, Hustler’s Ho, it promises a night of busty tricks and naughty chicks, and of course a special guest. Sasuke didn’t pay attention to the name, it is useless information anyways.

The waitresses are all beautiful women holding silver trays with glitter and fruity scented oils applied on their bodies and every time they move under the low dimmed lights to serve the customers, their smooth skins sparkle teasingly. The atmosphere is thick with cigarette smoke, but despite that, the room somehow smells good because of the enticing scents that come off from all the perfume the females of the club have put on.

Red velvet curtains hang from the ceiling at the left side of the club and make up for entrances to the changing rooms, while the bar and the bathrooms are at the right side of it. In the center of the room is the stage where the lights shine the most since the ceiling has a lot of spotlights in all kinds of colors there. The rest of the huge area is only provided with low dimmed lights and that makes the dancers at the stage stand out more. The walls are painted a dark pink color and it gives the room a sense of obscurity and raw sexuality.

Great amount of money gets thrown at the stage as the ladies entertain the crowd with their dancing skills either on the poles or on the floor. Excited shouts of more can be heard even from where the members of Team 7 are seated at the back of the club. The dancers are barely dressed in Sasuke’s opinion; too much skin is bared for the eyes to feast. He averts his eyes, a light blush dusting his cheeks.

A dark blonde girl is currently dancing, her back turned to the pole, her hands up in the air touching the steel above her head. She is moving her lower half sexily in fluid left and right motions, her hips rolling expertly. The girl is wearing purple lingerie with her hair up in a high ponytail, and money is stuck in all kind of places from the men who put it there. She keeps it professional, but her face still expresses the hidden erotic feelings she wants to convey.

Then, all of a sudden, the music slowly quiets down and a deep male voice comes from the speakers. “Thank you dear, you were amazing as always! Please, grab your money and clear the stage.”

Sasuke silently scoffs and rolls his eyes at this. He should really stop drinking, the alcohol is making him show his irritation and that is not a good thing when on a mission. He has to keep his face impassive, bring forth a cold facade. Especially when in that said mission, Sakura is not there to calm him down and Naruto only breathes to make it worse for him with his antics. Of course, Kakashi is nonchalant as always.

The crowd gets almost completely silent, only a few murmurs can be heard now, and the unknown voice continues. “Only today, we have a special guest dancing…”

Without warning, a swift sound gains the attention of everyone inside the room. It is a whoosh of air fluttering against hard yet soft and velvet material that signals that the curtains have just been opened. The whispers get a tad bit louder at this, but get lost when the raspy voice resonates through the room once again. “Now, gentlemen, prepare to meet tonight’s special guest, a beauty and an exotic flower among the ladies…”

The sound came from the left side of the club, near the back. Heels clanking against the floor in a steady rhythm and elegant manner are the only thing that can be heard. The steps are light and slow paced. It has a nice ring to it, the continuous clicking is pleasant to the ears and everyone is holding their breath in anticipation. The males of Team 7 hear loud gasps, watching as men are getting blown away by the mere sight of this special guest. Heads are turned, all the attention clearly diverted behind. The pace has a unique air of confidence that no one can quite put their finger on. The woman has a stealthy and powerful walking. A soft tune starts playing as an intro while the woman comes closer and closer to the stage.

The dancer narrows the distance between her and the stage as she takes painfully slow steps towards it or so it seems to the eager men. The shadow that still hovers near the area where Team 7 is –thanks to the somber and tricky lighting– hides her, until finally, a curvy form starts to appear as she comes forth to where the light is. Her silver, almost dark gray, stilettos are the first things that show. A few agonizingly and torturous seconds later, long legs and fair smooth skin come into view.

Naruto reacts first, an exclamation leaving his lips. It is not a sharp inhalation of amazement, but it is a loud gasp of shock. His blue eyes widen and there are hazy no more. Cold sweat forms on his forehead, and he is feeling like someone threw cold water on him to wake him up and bring him back to the harsh reality. It is definitely not an easy feat to astound the ninja who is known as the best at surprising people.

The voice resonates through the room once again and the male starts praising the newcomer dancer, “An exotic babe, outstanding with high class skills.” The announcement is over, and the music gets steadily louder while the special guest is one step away from the stage.

She just stands still with her back on the cheering crowd for a few seconds as if to bewitch the already elated men with her beauty. The young woman is posing sensually and it compliments her already perfect body. She is captivating in every sense. Her legs are long and toned while her tights are voluptuous and her rear is curvy. Her waist is slight bent and it makes her behind stand out even more. Her back sparkles teasingly thanks to the glittery substance that has been applied on her skin everywhere on her body. She lifts her left hand up to course it through her silky long locks while her right one is resting on her inner tight in a provocative pose.

That unmistakable pink hair belongs only to one person.

Kakashi feels his mouth hanging open inside his mask. This event took a very fast turn for the worst and he does not like the ending result at all. She is the last person he could think of going up there if you had asked him about it. He closes his eyes and hums quietly awaiting for the impeding doom waiting to happen.

Sasuke reacts not a second too late and his breath hitches. A flash of light blinds him and he blinks his eyes twice in response. The lighting must be playing tricks on him, because there is no fucking way this is Sakura ready to go up there. He freezes and his face goes rigid. His calculating yet beautiful onyx eyes widen and his naturally pouty lips part slightly in shock. A wave of cool air passes by him –probably someone activated a fan to create more special effects for such a unique guest– and it makes his soft black hair flutter in the wind. An intoxicating scent fills his senses and clouds every ounce of rationality within him.

The special guest goes up the stage, turns around and Sasuke can breathe no more.

“Please welcome, Misty Jade!”

Sasuke Uchiha, for the first time in years, sees red.

#sasusaku #sakura haruno #sasuke uchiha #ssfanfiction #ssfanfic #ssfic #sasusaku fanfiction #depending on the response i am going to get i am going to post the next chapter #this is a tease fic yall #my baby strawberrycreampiefluff is the bessst #my first after yeaaaars boi #yes i am 4everxd #vasoula writes

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watch-grok-brainrot · 4 years

Text

Striving for Humanity

Thanks to @merelhyn for 1) this post, 2) having a conversation with me about it at an ungodly hour, and 3) reading the story over before me posting. I shoved a lot of head canons into the story. I guess I’ll ramble at the end about some of them. I can’t think of any content warnings? If you see one I need to mention, please let me know so i can put it in the tags. :)

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覆載群生仰至仁，發明萬物皆成善。

“Through the years, living things strive for humanity; Since their creation all things improve.” -- opening poem of Journey to the West by Wu ChengEn

Jiang Cheng felt a shift in his bed and suddenly Wei Ying’s voice sounded by his ears. “Jiang Cheng! Jiang Cheng! Wake up!”

“Go away. It’s too early,” he turned to go back to sleep. Why was Wei Ying awake at this time?

“But Jiang Ch~eng! It’s important! I think my golden core formed!” Wei Ying said in a hushed whisper as he shook the other boy.

Jiang Cheng bolted up. “What? How? I work so much harder than you! Have you been practicing without telling me?”

“Not on purpose! I mean, I don’t know!” Wei Ying waved his hands defensively. Then he paused and added, contemplative and thoughtful, “Well, I guess when I’m swimming in the lake, part of me is thinking about how spiritual energies feel.The way the water covers my skin and how my spirit and meridians respond. I like the way the energies feel when I move through the water and when I direct my Qi flow into the water. When we eat Shijie’s soup, I like the warmth of it going down my throat and I imagine the calming spirit from the soup seeping into me. I think I’m always looking for how our Qi interacts with us. Do you not do that? I just assumed you did.”

Jiang Cheng’s eyes widened. He spent all his free time working on his spiritual energy but he definitely didn’t work on it while eating or playing or swimming. Wei Ying’s approach made so much sense! If only he shared earlier. Annoyed, he punched Wei Ying in the chest, “What? No! I’m too busy trying to keep you from getting into trouble! And I can’t think over your incessant chatter anyway!”

Wei Ying allowed himself to flop backwards from the punch. “Do you want to feel for it, Jiang Cheng? I want to see if you can tell I’ve changed.” He offers his wrist to the other boy.

Jiang Cheng reached out and set his middle three fingers on Wei Ying’s wrist. He found the other boy’s pulse and followed the energy flow up. Sure enough, there was a small seed in the center of Wei Ying’s chest. It pulsated in synchrony with Wei Ying’s heartbeat, sending out small waves of energy. Jiang Cheng withdrew his hand, sighing.

“Jiang Cheng,” Wei Ying said, excited. “If I got mine, I’m sure you’ll end up with yours in a few days! You’re never actually behind. Not when it matters. And plus, you work so much harder than I do!”

Jiang Cheng scoffed. “I know I do. It doesn’t make sense that you get everything first and you seem to be slightly better than me.”

“Don’t be jealous! It’s just because I got used to thinking on my feet on the streets!” Wei Ying said, trying to diffuse Jiang Cheng’s jealousy and insecurities. “It’s not like a day or two will matter in the long run anyway. It’s so tiny right now. It’s about the size of a lotus seed, I’d say. Maybe when yours form it’ll be the size of our spirit bell! And if you form yours in the next five days, you’d still have gotten a golden core at a younger age than me. I am your Shi-ge for something, remember? ”

Jiang Cheng pushed Wei Ying off the bed. “Well, Shi-ge, I guess you’ll have to help me get mine soon! Let’s go train!”

He jumped out of bed, stretched briefly, and ran into the courtyard. Wei Ying quickly followed.

Seven days later, Jiang Cheng woke up with a golden core. The two of them immediately found Jiang Fengmian to ask for courtesy names and swords.

“Dad! I have a golden core!” Jiang Cheng yelled down the hallways of Lotus Pier.

“Uncle Jiang! We both have golden cores!” Wei Ying’s voice joined in.

Jiang Fengmian put down his brush and looked up from his work. “Come here, let me feel.” Both boys rushed up and offered their wrists. He tested their cores and found two small lotus seeds beating with youthful vigor. He smiled. “Very good.”

“So how do we pick a courtesy name? And what do we need to do to get a sword?” Wei Ying asked, words tumbling from his mouth without pause. “Do we have to find the materials? Do we have to forge it ourselves? Is there a trial or a test? Will we have to infuse it with energy from our golden core before it can be forged?”

Jiang Fengmian placed a hand on Wei Ying’s head to calm the boy. Then he placed his other hand on Jiang Cheng’s head and said, “Per Jiang family traditions, you must determine what is most true for yourself. Pick names and sword components from that. The best swords develop spirits. It would be wise to give them a vessel that resonates with your morals and your identity. We can pick your courtesy names after your swords are forged. Now go, and present something for me tomorrow.”

Both boys nodded solemnly, gave each other a grin, and ran out of Jiang Fengmian’s study.

After meeting with Jiang Fengmian, Jiang Cheng ran to tell Yu Ziyuan his news. Wei Ying, not wanting to incur the woman’s wrath, decided to take a walk instead, his Uncle Jiang’s words echoing in his ears. He had a lot to think about.

Wei Ying’s father was a servant to Uncle Jiang. A close friend, but still a servant. He had no status. And Wei Ying’s mother was as elusive as her name indicated. He never got any stories about her, though he asked. Where, then, was their child’s identity rooted? How, from a lack of identity, can Wei Ying figure out the sort of vessel that would fit his sword?

Lost in thought, Wei Ying wandered out of Lotus Pier grounds. His feet carried him to the first tree he climbed after arriving at Yunmeng. Perhaps only a couple decades old, the tree stood in a clearing. Wei Ying walked up and put his hand on the tree, “Hey old friend. I’m surprised I’m here again. I don’t have anything sad to say to you today. I guess I’m just here to think.” He walked around the tree a few times, fingers trailing along on the trunk.

You came to me that day. I realized, when you touched me, that you had changed. As you walked around me and spoke to me, I knew you would leave me one day. You who I’ve always known.

Wei Ying grabbed onto the lower branches and pulled himself up. The large leaves batted him in the face. Wei Ying laughed and climbed higher. A few minutes later, he had gone as far as he was willing to climb. The leaves did a good job of hiding him but he could see out and watch Yunmeng. He sat down and leaned against the main branch. The familiar shape of the boughs brought back familiar feelings.

Your tears were what woke me. I heard you cry and tasted your anxiety and fear. I watched you fall. I was powerless to protect you. After you and the larger child left, the blood you spilt seeped down and I took it in. The earth did not deserve any of you.

This was the first tree that he had climbed when he arrived at Yunmeng. That was the night he became friends with Jiang Cheng. That was the night he first tasted Shijie’s Lotus Root and Pork Rib soup.

I watched you grow, your spirit bright and strong. Your laughter felt like sunlight. It grew my spirit as sunlight grew my body. Your cries hurt like passing storms. But weathering them made my spirit stronger. I swore to shelter you.

This tree has been his safe haven when Madam Yu got mad, when local dogs chased him, when he wished he could remember more about his parents. He remembered climbing the tree, hiding in the tree, crying in the tree, and falling from the tree when he inevitably fell asleep.

You fed me, unknowingly. I drank in your tears. From them, I learned of human suffering. From them, I understood loneliness, insecurity, and pain. How does one so small feel so much?

Wei Ying put his hand on the tree and channeled some of his spiritual energy into the main branch. “You’re as much part of me as you’re part of Yunmeng, aren’t you? I can’t believe you’ve been here with me through everything."

Either by his words or by sheer coincidence, he heard a crack and saw a lower branch about the thickness of his upper arm break and fall to the ground. His eyes lit up and he patted the trunk twice. “Of course, you and I are the same here. Thank you old friend.”

I could not tell you not to go. So I did what I could. I went with you.

Wei Ying climbed down and picked up the branch. It was about a meter and a half long and four to five fingers width in diameter. The break was surprisingly smooth and the wood was much less wet than he expected. He smiled. This is exactly what he hoped to find.

Jiang Cheng presented Jiang Fengmian with four aspects for his sword design: two metal sculptures, one of a snake, one of a toad, a jar with five centipedes, and a jar of purple pigment. “Father, I present to you the elements for my sword. First, the purple is Yunmeng. My future responsibility and my family. The other three objects represent three of the five poisons. As I am the son of Mother, the Purple Spider, and you, the Water Scorpion, I thought it would be only fitting for me to take the other three. I come from you, I hope to take the best of you two and become more. Furthermore, it will only do me good to remember the three poisons of Buddihst teachings. Calling my sword Sandu will remind me of both my roots and my faults.”

Jiang Fengmian nodded approvingly and Jiang Cheng beamed. Jiang Fengmian then turned to Wei Ying.

“A-Ying, what did you choose and why?”��

Wei Ying thought about Jiang Fengmian’s question and offered two answers. “I chose wood because it represents what you have done for me. Prior to being taken in, I was but 不材之木，無所可用 (wood that cannot be crafted, useless). Your raising me made me what I am today. I want to have a wooden sheath and hilt to remember from whence I came. I also believe trees, like lotuses, reflect the Yunmeng Jiang motto. 禽獸固有群矣，樹木固有立矣 (birds and beasts gather in flocks and herds; the trees stand in place). Trees know their lines and what they will bend to and what they will weather. We also know our moral lines and stand by them. Holding a sword made of such, I hope to do the same.”

“What about its name?” Jiang Fengmian prompted.

Wei Ying fell silent. In his head dozens of names flew by. He dismissed all of them as unworthy of his sword. Finally, Wei Ying looked up and blurted “Suibian. Whatever you want to call it, Uncle Jiang. Suibian. I defer to your wisdom.”

Suibian. Whatever. These two characters that tumbled from your lips I knew to be truer than anything anyone else could say. I wanted no other name. It reflected your spirit. It reflected my will. How could you suggest anyone else try to name me anything else?

As my body plunged into fire, I clung onto your words. Whatever. I insist on whatever. The flames roared around me, trying to force me docile. I screamed back my desires. I have will! I choose this! Finally the flames yielded and I molded them for my own use. I will be your whatever, as long as you let me stay by your side.

When the swords left the forge, both boys eagerly grabbed their weapon.

Jiang Cheng’s Sandu held the poisonous motifs -- snakes intertwined to form the cross guards and a toad sat atop its hilt. The five entangled centipedes were embedded in Sandu’s heart. The sheath’s Yunmeng-purple surface displayed a snake skin texture. The sword epitomized a deadly elegance befitting the Yunmeng heir.

Wei Ying’s sword was a masterpiece of intertwined metal and wood. The hilt seemed to be of plain wood, yet it conformed to Wei Ying’s grip as if it were whittled for that sole purpose. The metal rippled around the sheath, wrapping around the wood like the waters of Yunmeng wrapping around Lotus Pier. Upon the wood of the sheath were engraved the characters 随便 (Suibian.)

---

Notes:

1) So, per traditional chinese medicine, the spider is not one of the five poisons. There’s a salamander/lizard instead. I believe it has to do with what you use to make extracts/tonics. However, in many Wuxia novels, the reptile is replaced with spider... and for my motif, i went with the spider. CQL is a very wuxia heavy xianxia show anyway. :)

2) We know NOTHING about the parents so i made up the thing about Jiang Fengmian’s moniker. It sounded cool to me. That way he gets to be a poison. It rounded out 5 with Sandu and JC’s sense of family and duty. The water thing was just being from Yunmeng.

3) Per CQL aesthetics, the golden core is separate from the dantian that Wuxia talks about. I’m making that assumption here.

4) Once i learned courtesy names were given historically at a later age, it really bothered me. Since i figured it’s a coming of age thing, I started headcanoning courtesy names were given at the same time as when the golden core formed. That would explain why wwx, jc, lwj etc have courtesy names so young.

5) If you paid attention to CQL, you’ll know i framed the tree as a young Yao to start and then it shoved its spirit into the branch which i guess would make it a Guai. I don’t know if that even works... but if monsters can eat spiritual cognition, what’s to say wwx’s tears etc didn’t wake up a little creature. It would explain Suibian’s loyalty that @merelhyn referred to in her post. If the wood/tree imprinted on WWX even before it became Suibian... then of course it would seal itself and of course it would have the words carved even if WWX wasn’t a ancient cultivator.

6) I really like the idea of WWX’s bendy flexible brain just finding ways to cultivate 24/7. I wanted to share it so tada. you get that here too.

Ok. that’s it. oooof. if you’ve stayed here this long, thank you for reading! <3

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browniesnivy · 3 years

Note

hiii brownie idk enough abt yugioh but *insert one of ur yugioh faves* and umm maybe franziska for that character ask game :]

Franziska Von Karma

How I feel about this character- FRANZISKA LITERALLY SO AMAZING...I love how she’s introduced as just as terrifying and cruel as her father, but then you see that she really does care about helping other people throughout her determination to avenge Edgeworth and to help Phoenix save Maya in Farewell My Turnabout despite taking a bullet to the shoulder (such a good parallel with her father on its own!)... and then with the scene at the airport she’s is allowed to be emotionally vulnerable without being any less of a competent prodigy of law! She’s just... so fucking cool I LOVE HER!

All the people I ship romantically with this character- Maya Fey! I love the contrast between both of their personalities making them seem like total opposites, but when you look at their connection to a family legacy it becomes obvious they have a lot in common. I wish the games had expanded on their dynamic more, but unfortunately lesbians are oppressed :(

My non-romantic OTP for this character- VON KARMA SIBLINGS... Mieke I know you agree with me on this! They grew up with the same terrible expectation that come with being a prodigy, and so they’re really the only ones who’s can comfort and understand each other... they obviously both feel such an obligation to protect each other and it makes me so CRAZY UGH. BROTHER AND SISTER!

My unpopular opinion about this character- I don’t think this is an unpopular opinion but I wish she’d kept the shorter hair design from the concept art where her hair is slicked forward to contrast with her father’s slicked back hair, not only because I’m a lesbian and that hairstyle was SO GAY but because I think it could have highlighted or even foreshadowed how she differs from Manfred. Maybe since she hasn’t been able to abandon his influences by Justice for All it wouldn’t make since for her to have such a “wild” hairstyle, but I think that if she returns it would be amazing to see her with that hairstyle to represent how she’s moved on after a decade.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon- SHOW HER DENOUNCING MANFRED VON KARMA FOR REAL. I can understand that it would take time for her to fully accept that her father was not as admirable as she’d been least to believe, but by this point in the timeline I think it’s time for that aspect of her character arc to be resolved. The natural conclusion of her development requires her experiencing the same acceptance of defeat as her brother, so I really hope that if they bring Franziska back at some point she’ll be allowed to admit that her father was awful and that victory isn’t an indication of worth.

Rex Raptor

How I feel about this character- HE IS MY FAVORITE CHARACTER IN ANY PIECE OF MEDIA EVER. I know that he isn’t meant to be a deep character at all and he isn’t given much narrative focus at all but he is just SO DAMN ENDEARING TO ME OKAY. I have an unhealthy obsession with how he is initially introduced as being crass and inconsiderate while Weevil is more polite and strategic, but then it turns out Weevil is a total asshole while Rex is just... a kid who likes dinosaurs and duels for fun? Like even though he’s a total dumbass (the best character trait) who can be a bit rude (not even mean-spirited if we’re being totally honest, like most of his remarks are just him being snarky), the manga describes him as “having to the spirit of a true duelist” and he never really seems as bitter about losing as his counterpart Weevil (except in the Season 4 filler arc, which although I adore for giving me so much more Rex content, makes a lot mistakes by characterizing him as basically interchangeable with Weevil... BUT that’s ANOTHER STORY for ANOTHER DAY). I mean he has more justifiable reasons to be upset than Weevil given how he was LITERALLY cheated out of the Battle City tournaments by Espa (which Mokuba the official rule enforcer LETS THEM GET AWAY WITH and then doesn’t do ANYTHING to compensate Rex), and he STILL tries to warn Joey to stay away from trouble despite him being the guy he supposedly dislikes because he took his best card, totally disgracing him and ruining his entire career. I could keep going but this paragraph isn’t probably already sickeningly long and I still need to be able to make posts about him in the future, so in a nutshell... he seems like a funny and good kid. OH AND WHEN MAI ASKED HIM THE “what can you see but cannot see” RIDDLE AND HE ANSWERED TAKOYAKI BECAUSE YOU CAN SEE THE DOUGH ON THE OUTSIDE BUT NOT THE OCTOPUS ON THE INSIDE? LITERAL CUTEST SHIT EVER KING OF COMEDY I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU. Ahem. Sorry.

All the people I ship romantically with this character- Weevil Underwood. They’re both teenagers who got famous, let it get to their heads, and then lost everything... considering that they seem like the types of kids who would be bullied relentlessly (they're already constantly being made fun of by mostly of the character anyway), I think the fact that they end up befriending each other is a good sign that they can find some comfort in each other and discover other things to be fulfilled by beside card games. I love how even though this friendship is framed as a begrudging alliance between two self-servings jerks half of the time, the other half of the time it’s about best friends starting a shit together for petty reasons and always being by each other’s side no matter what. The way that they tease each other constantly but then always stand up for one another when others pick on them... it’s so obvious that they actually really care about one another! I just love their dynamic so much it’s unreal, hence the blog.

My non-romantic OTP for this character- Although I primarily think about his relationship with Weevil, there is still a lot of potential to be explored with other characters! Mako is another minor character obsessed with a type of animal, but where’s he differs from Rex and ESPECIALLY Weevil is his sportsmanship, being able to become friends with Yugi and Joey even after being defeated by them. I think that difference mostly comes down to Mako being significantly older than Red and Weevil and therefore having more perspective on gaming fame, so I feel like he would be a great influence on them. On Rex specifically, I think Season 4 missed a big opportunity to expand on Rex and Mai’s relationship. Mai had been a major contributor to Rex losing in Duelist Kingdom, but now they both feel like washed-up failures. I think given the circumstances they could have comeback to an understanding, maybe even have Mai apologize for throwing him under the bus to screw with Joey? I think showing Rex that not everyone who has wronged him in the past had/still has bad intentions would be really good addition to his character arc in Season 4. Then of course there is Joey... to me, the main difference between Rex and Joey is that Joey is stupidly lucky while Rex never seems to catch a break. Otherwise they’re both recklessness dumbasses who prioritize brawn over brain, but Joey is nevertheless able to triumph through sheer dumb luck while Rex gets anihilated over and over with basically the same strategy (minus the RNG cards, Joey’s strategy is just big monsters after all). While the previously mentions she relationships were hypothetical, this dynamic between Joey and Rex is actually given some focus in canon, and I found it very compelling! I only wish this difference between them hadn't only been used to increase Joey’s confidence in his skills as a duelist (which I will remind you is mostly LUCK, no offense to Joey because I do love him BUT I MEAN... only being able to beat Rex because of a lucky Time Wizard isn’t peak strategy ), but to develop Rex’s character somehow as well.

My unpopular opinion about this character- JUST LIKING THIS CHARACTER IS AN UNPOPULAR OPINION MAN... tons of people hate him so much! I know he isn’t an important character at all but he isn’t nearly as much of a jerk as people make him out to be, and I mean even if he was he’s just a kid! I won’t pretend that he is always portrayed favorably by the narrative, but the fact that some people feel nothing but disdain for a child whose accomplishments were robbed from him by forces outside of his control and who received no sympathy for it, causing his self-worth to deteriorate... it’s a bit concerning to me that so many adults in particular are so disgusted by that.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon- I’ve talked QUITE a lot already about things that I wish had happened to develop his character more, but above all else I wish his character arc in Season 4 had been given a proper conclusion. The writers set up this interesting conflict where the insignificant minor characters are upset that they aren’t allowed to be successful when the more important characters aren’t involved and shows the consequences that their defeat had on their lives and self-image... BUT THEN AFTER THEY’RE DEFEATED THEY ARE FORGOTTEN ABOUT FOR THE REST OF THE SEASON UNTIL THEY WAKE UP IN THE HOSPITAL AND INSTANTLY REVERT BACK TO BEING COMIC RELIEF GRRR GRRRRRRRR! There wasn’t no resolution to this arc AT ALL and it drives me UP THE GODDAMN WALL because it absolutely captivated me in concept... but like with many things in Yu-Gi-Oh! the execution was totally ruined :(

#I hope you don’t regret asking about Yugioh ive been known to get... quite passionate lol #Wake up babe new Brownie rant dropped 😅#Thanks for the ask bestie!

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semi-imaginary-place · 3 years

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rewatching decadence

ep1: so... indoctrinating kids that they life their life in service to an upper class. also like, the way deca dence takes care of giant gadoll is to punch it like no giant sword or laser canon or anything just the power of a giant mountain sized fist. this show actually has some good foreshadowing from seeing Natsume from the perspective of Kaburagi’s hud, to Natsume’s dad (Muno) finding the Solid Quake logo at the beginning of the episode and the logo again being shown in the last shot at the announcement signs off with have a profitable day which is a weird public safety announcement but makes sense as a company slogan. I’m still not sure what the “TIME 1:00 POINT SE,07,G” means. I didn’t write it down last time because I was unsure of myself, but my first thought when the cyborgs showed up was VR chatroom for the upper class.

ep2: yeahs that’s totally an advertisement that plays right after natsume realizes the human costs of war as the tankers pay respects to the fallen. I realized what it was with the cartoony designs, the bright colors and patterns, the funky shapes of all the structures aboard the space ship, it looks like a tv show for toddlers. inoffensive and deliberately cheerful to distract from the horrors of a corporation owning your person. the eng subtitles are confusing here it should be “real death(simulation) awaits” in that the company is advertising being able to experience death but not have any of its permanent consequences as a feature of the game. The cyborgs are corporate wage slaves being compensated for their labor in company credits and the only other things we seen them do outside of work is play the company’s mmo, or recreational drugs. “I should be proud of my function and to be scrapped” as property of the company. aaaa that’s terrible. aaa. what are cyborg cores??? and why are they valuable. Solid Quake has no control over the core, only the cyborg’s housing. Is it that they cannot produce more? Considering the others on the team got executed for sentenced to an eternal forced labor camp with appalling conditions, Minato really did pull some strings for Kaburagi. ooh so “time until scrapping” and “operational limit near are two different warnings. the first is a general reminder of lifespan and the second is because oxyone levels are low. now its “TIME 20:00 POINT SE,05,I”. all those new gadoll events probably wreck havoc on the tanker economy. its 400c now and i think it was 500 for 2 earlier. First time through I wasn’t paying attention and totally thought kaburagi was an assassin, but no he’s just clean up crew. ahh yes, come spend you wages at the company run stores. micro transactions... wait so where were people getting the number 13 from?

ep3: ah yes Solid Quake charges to use the media center, truly a micro transaction hell. Natsume’s character arc is about whether to push herself or not. Here Fei acts as part of a continuing dialectic saying that Tankers have no place outside of Deca-Dence, that sooner of later Natsume will die from it, and once again highlighting Natsume’s right arm. In the other level of this though, tankers shouldn’t go outside because that’s not their role in the solid quake mmo, and those who would disrupt the mmo are killed. I like how you can see Kaburagi switch from videogame logic (oh she’s low level so let’s just stick her in the tutorial zone) to real life (what skills and experiences would help in fighting). So several corporations took advantage of desperate people to sell them a service that would augment them with mechanical parts. I get that pipe in a little outfit is funny, but does no one really realize its a gadoll, i meant natsume recognizes it instantly. like the scene where Natsume talks about her right arm, the anime does a good job of showing how her feeling about it are complicated. She’s lived with that arm for years, but it also hinders her sometimes, and people will comment about it. there’s this specific type of humor that pops up in this show and given how its the same joke, my guess is that its the same person behind it. The “joke” being that Natsume is put in a position that references sexual assault. The first is with fennel where she makes up an excuse of having to go see kaburagi to get away from him. And then there’s this episode. There’s also a few stray lines here and there that alarm me in that they imply Natsume has dealt with the threat of assault before. Since they didn’t do anything meaningful with this, I’d rather it just not be there. Minato is in on the secret of Pipe’s existence and by the way the two talk, they’ve called each other before in the last 7 years. Its good to know that Kaburagi wasn’t JUST brooding for 7 years and that the two of them stayed in contact.

ep4: Natsume after having gained confidence in herself takes down several gadoll and earns her place in The Power. Its a fulfilling payoff after seeing her train for several episodes. Natsume is where she always wanted to be, fighting gadoll in the Power. gahh It really is a patch release trailer. Ohh so I assumed that the other structures on the cartoon earth were other corporations, but in this episode we see one of them (the white and red striped cone thing opposite the deca-dence dome) and the cyborgs there are talking about the game (MMO LARPing lol), so either Solid Quake owns multiple of those structures, or these cyborgs are customers not owned by Solid Quake and playing of their own volition. that would makes the cone cyborgs where solid quake is deriving its profit from since its not like it pays its workers. reading comments online, a lot of people missed that because a ranker was found to be cheating (mikey), the rankings were abolished. In the present time, gears/players are not ranked. Ah so Kaburagi was transferred to the maintenance department from the warrior department. Wow reassignment is so much better than the poop jail. I remember it being said, armor repair, doctor, and weapon shop could be employee(cyborg) run so I wonder if the medics and that one armor shop guy are tankers or not. So this anime already snuck in a sex joke with the when the poop gang swapped kaburagi’s avatar with a sex toy, so i wonder if the safetyprivatemode was made so that the mods wouldn’t have to listen to robot sex. I really wish this show could have had 24 episodes. The trend for the past 20 years has been shorter and shorter shows so I know it would have been likely impossible to get the clearance and funding for 24 eps but oooh in som alternate universe maybe... i brought up fleshing out minor characters and character relationships before but there also stuff like Natsume’s right hand almost clamping on ... Mindy? Which usually would be a narrative flag but is completely dropped because of the episode limit. And the confidence Natsume gained last episode come to work against Kaburagi trying to keep her from the suicide mission. Its only from this point on that Kaburagi starts to really change, as of this point he is still a loyal cog to a machine that does not care about him. Kaburagi and Natsume in the 2nd half of the episode continue the same dialectic that runs through the whole of the show, about giving up and learning to try again, about pushing your limit, about why someone bothers trying. On the collectivist versus individualist spectrum, Deca-Dence is on the individualist side with assertions of the importance for deciding for yourself what you will do with your life. Its an interesting counterpoint to The Twilight Mirage (Friends at the Table) which I am currently listening to in that The Twilight Mirage is a western production and strongly collectivist with one of the antagonist being sort of kind of an embodiment of independence/individualism while japanese works as a whole tend to be more about the whole over the individual than western ones. Kurenai talking about why she fights is very good and very important for 2 reasons, first it help flesh out not only her but offer a very needed other opinion on what its like to live as a Tanker, second it segues nicely into Natsume’s memories of her dad telling her about the outside world and him being the only one to believe she can do it (fight in The Power) as contrasted with flashbacks of all the other characters telling her she can’t. This culminates in Natsume gathering her resolve to fight not because of something grand like changing the world or the fate of humanity, but something very personal scale: changing herself and proving to herself that she can do it. The is also the climax of her character arc, the point of no return.

ep5: If last episode was natsume’s point of no return, then either this episode or episode 7 is Kaburagi’s. Rationally speaking, the optimal scenario would have been for Kaburagi to stall long enough for the Tankers to escape before pulling back himself, but emotionally and narratively, there’s no way he couldn’t. After all the build up of deciding for yourself how to live and pushing your limits. Its appropriate that here in defense of the girl that inspired him to live and choose for himself rather than just continue existing in the default of what Solid Quake demands of him, that Kaburagi chooses to release his operational limiter (literally pushing him limit) and derail the company’s plans. How did no one realize purple dude was breaking imprisonment to play on a hacked avatar. Like he’s still as purple and bloodthirsty as ever. He acts and speaks the same. Someone would have totally seen him and gone “eyyyyy [i forgot this guy’s name] is back” and talked to people about it and someone should have heard. So I remember reading comments from various idiots who were mad because they mistakenly thought the anime took place in a virtual space and that Natsume was made of lines of code. And first off even if that was true there’s a difference between objective reality and the lived experiences of a person and what’s to say her experiences and emotions would be any less real than yours. And second, did everyone forget The Hunger Games? Like its just another game that plays with real lives and doesn’t care who gets killed. Solid Quake is just using humans as a stage prop. Man this episode is jam packed. Its like getting punched in the face 4 times. The pacing of the last 4 minutes was really good. The quiet scene as dawn breaks acts in direct contrast to the high energy of the Stargate takedown that preceded it. After time and against not listening to him, Minato still calls Kabu to check in with him. There’s also his certainly that it was Kaburagi that saved the Deca-Dence mech (i need to be clearer when I’m talking about the physical fortress city mech, the mmorpg game, or the deca-dence system itself). And then when the world state gets reset is just so good because it make it clear that the gadoll were never the true enemy. The tankers could kill as many gadoll as they want and nothing would change. Kaburagi’s at an interesting point here, in that he’s no longer in a state of having given up like he was in episode 1 just waiting to die and following along with Solid Quake’s orders, as of this episode he has deliberately gone against the company’s rules, and yet he’s still believes that nothing will actually change. He’s broken a rule and resigned himself to punishment instead of say for example getting rid of the punishment all together. He’s still a good little employee that hasn’t rebelled against the system. And then the “Take care of Pipe” and Natsume turns around and he’s already gone, is sooo good. The final shot too of his avatar face down in the snow! The “This world needs bugs” is in direct contrast to Hugin/Fugin(?) repeating that this world must be rid of bugs, and the same phrase Kaburagi repeated 7 years ago when he was transferred to the Maintenance Department instead of being killed. I wonder how much the cyborgs feel in their original bodies vs. how much they feel in their Gear avatars. Kaburagi doesn’t seem to care about food and no food stalls were shown in the Gear area so maybe they doesn’t have much sense of taste? The avatars also have a lessened sense of pain. And then the limit release sequence shows connections increasing between the two bodies so does it make the cyborgs more attuned with the avatar’s senses?

ep6: eh so this is another example of what I mean when I say some of the humor in this show is in bad taste. They probably put the oxyone port where the ass would be just to make this joke. But this is better then doing to it Natsume. The animators even had a gleam censor for the over where the capsule was inserted as if it wasn’t obvious enough what it was suppose to look like. Spurned on by the the promise that one day if they work hard and behave (”rehabilitated”), the cyborgs will get let out when in actuality its a forced labor camp so that Solid Quake can squeeze just a little more labor our of the cyborgs for even less compensation. The cartoony style here helps offset just how horrific there working conditions are. And Kaburagi still the good little employee (iiko) tries his hardest to play by the rules and win. Except in this game, there is no “win’ written into the rules. So finally he is forced to move outside of the system Solid Quake has made. I still can’t believe they let Donatello keep the gun... Maybe cyborg cores are brains. In 5.5 Kaburagi’s core is in the top half of his metal case, and Donatello’s is also in his head. I’m still not sure what that sequence where Kaburagi takes the head fin and an image of a cyborg core is overlayed, means.

#deca-dence #deca dence #anime #i think too much #reviews #writing

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austennerdita2533 · 4 years

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A ship edition of make you choose, my friend! Klaroline or Bangel? Lorelai/Luke or Rory/Jess? Anne/Wentworth or Emma/Knightley? Mondler or Benslie? Rachel/Ross or Rachel/Joey? April/Jackson or Lexie/Mark? And I always love your analysis, so please feel free to explain the reasons behind your choices if you want to! XO

I am always so excited to receive these even though answering/picking means ripping my soul into shipper Horcruxes haha. Love your new icon, btw! xx

Klaroline or Bangel?

Although Buffy and Angel are arguably my favorite forbidden love couple on TV - their longing for each other is an eternal, visceral, soul-encompassing thing - I have to go with Klaus and Caroline on this one. They’re the ship that brought me to Tumblr. They’ve yanked more fic out of me than I can believe. They’re the reason why I have so many amazing friends and mutuals. More importantly that all that, I am trash for them and always will be.

THIS CANNOT BE HELPED.

Klaroline have such tangled history, such rich possibility for the future. I get lost in the labyrinth of goodness and darkness unspooling between them. The qualities that clash. The emotion that sparks. The resistance that builds and builds, binding uncomfortably before it snaps. The enigmatic ‘something’ that scrapes between them like teeth until it comes away infected, bloodied, marred in chunks that are beyond reconciling with any chronology. They have the kind of connection that digs under the skin with claws. It’s neither painless nor pretty, not always happy nor healthy, but it pervades. It permeates until possession becomes nine-tenths of the law in their conquered hearts. Inevitability coils like like a living thing between them--and breathes.

I love the malleability of time that surrounds them, too. Part of that comes from their status as vampires, as supernaturals, but it also has something to do with how they punch through it as well - individually, together - both of them finding new ways to love eternity as it continues to stretch before them, bending it to their will whenever necessary.

I don’t know, it’s fun to imagine the enigma they pose to the world. To each other. What will a new year bring? A decade? How about a century?

Despite their lack of heartbeats, there’s change on the cusp of every word they utter to one another, on the fringe of every kiss they almost share but swallow before they reveal too much, not enough, everything all at once. It’s a dizzying, dangerous, and intoxicating “thing” they share, you know?

I suppose...well, I suppose I just like how there’s nothing easy about who they are or want they want.

Lorelai/Luke or Rory/Jess?

This one was difficult because JavaJunkies and Literati are top tier ships for me. *cries* I went with Luke and Lorelai mostly because I’ve been a shipper since I first saw them in the pilot episode back in the early 2000′s, and--I haven’t looked back since. They had me rushing home from school to watch re-runs, hightailing it from after-hours sports so I could catch new episodes on the WB. I haunted message boards. I scoured the Internet for spoilers. I tumbled into fanfiction before fanfiction was even a thing. I watched the seasons over and over again until I nearly memorized every moment they had, every bit of dialogue they spewed; until I analyzed subtext until I made my own head spin.

What I love so much about them is that they’re friends first and foremost. They genuinely like, trust, and respect each other as people beyond all else. They’re opposites, of course, but in a complementary way that just works. They also come to know they can depend on one another in good times or bad, and it’s that ‘unconditional’ element in their dynamic which draws me in hook, line, and sinker because it’s the kind of quality that preserves the longevity of a relationship. To be honest, over the OG series, we do see Luke and Lorelai veer farther away from each other romantically more than we’d like: *side eyes s6-early s7 specifically*; yet, at the same time, there’s a Permanence about them that never fails. Never fades. They’re simply THERE in whatever capacity the other wants or needs. No matter what, no matter when, no matter the emotional crap that’s already pooled between them.

Call me crazy, but I think steadiness and devotion of that caliber is beautiful.

Luke and Lorelai evolve together in such a way that it’s impossible for me to imagine them with anyone else in the end. They belong together like coffee and donuts.

Anne/Wentworth or Emma/Knightley?

Ask me this same question tomorrow and I’ll probably give you the opposite answer. However, today...today I am all about the angst and pining!

Eight-and-a-half years worth of regrets and broken hearts that never mended, looks that scorch because they were held a moment too long in front of company, secret longings that are whispered into pillows before the candle on the dresser expires and they tuck their weary limbs into bed, dreams that feature that one face impossible to forget--LEAVE ME HERE TO SING “KILLING ME SOFTLY” because that’s what Anne and Wentworth do to me!

Mondler or Benslie?

Look, I will love Monica and Chandler until my dying day but Ben and Leslie are so unbelievably adorkable together that anytime I think about them my heart is instantaneously flooded with warm, sunshiny, politically active, eats-waffles-for-every-meal-and-regrets-nothing fuzzies. I just--*melts onto the floor in a puddle of Pawnee rainbows*

Rachel/Ross or Rachel/Joey?

Ross-hatred is pretty embedded in the Friends fandom these days so I am sure many are or will be tempted to jump down my throat for this choice but...BUT...I do not care! *laughs maniacally* Ross and Rachel always had that boomerang spark, that “we’ll find our way back to each other” ellipsis at the end of every break-up or missed opportunity, that kissing-each-other-in-the-rain passion that could not be weathered despite the number of years or marriages or ‘almosts’ they had with other people, and I cannot get over them. I cannot give them up. I won’t, I won’t.

SHE GOT OFF THE PLANE, OKAY? She. got. off. the. plane. And, controversial though that might be for some (trust me, I get all the arguments against it; against them, really), I can’t help but be gleeful they got their happy ending. I wanted it then, I’m still satisfied with it now. *shrugs unapologetically*

April/Jackson or Lexie/Mark?

This last one cut me deep.

Ouch.

However, with Slexie, at least it’s canon that they were each other’s true albeit last *cries* loves and I can pretend that they reunited somewhere in the afterlife. But Japril...Japril was done so. stinking. dirtyyyy by Grey’s Anatomy. I will never forgive the writers for ending them the way they did. Never!

JACKSON AND APRIL ARE THE EPITOME OF SOULMATES. Their relationship was predicated on the purest, most wholesome kind of love because it blossomed from mutual respect and admiration as well as understanding. They invested the time. They put in the work. They peeled back the layers slowly, carefully, learning the magic of caring by opening their ears first then offering their shoulders when hurt swooped in to snip at pieces the other had left undefended. It was only later, with time, with trust that had turned conversation into a balm of contentment, that arms became a refuge, too. A harbor. A place of comfort and affection where they felt seen. Heard. Known. Loved in a way that wasn’t free from tears - oh, no - but was embracive of them as they fell, cushioning their remnants on thumbs as if they were more precious than pearls.

They loved everything about each other, vices included. They were best friends, lovers, something more intimate that defies definition but wraps itself around the sentiment of “having a favorite person.”

There’s an ethereal quality to what they are--what they mean to each other. You can’t quite touch it, can’t quite capture it, all you know is their atoms continue co-mingling whether or not anyone else notices it’s happening.

There’s no ending to a love like that, only another beginning.

#what-would-jane-austen-say #replies #the loveliest of lovely people #ashlee bree talks ships

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sometimesrosy · 5 years

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Anonymous said:B/cho is going into the last season together and you will say Bellarke is endgame [blah blah blah] B/cho [blah blah blah] You are no different from those CLs who think the show is about L/xa. [blah blah blah] B/cho still canon and just because Bellarke stood next to each other in the last frame [blah blah blah b/e endgame]Your denial is out of this world. I'm watching in shock. You won't answer this one cause you have nothing to tell:/

I don’t answer questions like these because I don’t give a shit what you think and I don’t know why you give a shit what I think. If you think I’m full of shit then I should be so easy to ignore that you never send me a disparaging anon.

I don’t answer these questions, not because I have nothing to say. I have MILLIONS of words of canon based meta to defend my position. I’ve been arguing for Bellarke for YEARS. WITH CANON EVIDENCE. If there is canon evidence then I am not delusional, it’s an analysis of the show as it stands.

I don’t answer these questions not because I’m afraid to face your pitiful endgame story, but because I’m so fucking tired of having to argue with you people. I don’t care what you think. I think your reasoning is shallow and foolish and actually ignorant. YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW STORIES WORK. And because you don’t understand, you think it doesn’t exist. Despite the fact that you can study how stories work and there are degrees and certifications you can get in that study and there are professions entirely about HOW TO TELL STORIES, and you have no idea of any of it. The reason why so many people call me “delusional” is because I am completely talking over their heads. I’m talking about structure and narrative and symbolism and allusions and archetypes and they think I’m making it all up. Not all shows use those things but this one does. And I’m using them in my analysis. I’m, like, giving a college level course in analysis of The 100.

And that is not even relevant to shipping. Whether I have multiple degrees and decades of experience with this discipline or not. Whether I’m in denial or not. This is my fandom blog where I enjoy my favorite show and my otp and this is my hobby and my hobby is about loving the stuff I love not getting into fights over shipwars.

I don’t answer these questions because it is within my rights to ship WHATEVER THE HELL I WANT whether you believe it or not. It is MY blog where I get to steer the conversation.

B/E is not endgame because it is NOT THE STORY. There is actually no b/e story on this show. There is no romance. There is no longing. There is no fight to be together. There is only b/e finding clarke alive and bellamy being in love with clarke.

The reason why we didn’t see b/e get together, or any flashbacks to them on the ship, is because b/e is not the story. If there’s no story, there’s no endgame... for me. You’re told they’re dating and you think it’s true love. Even though season 6 had them fighting the whole time and drawing apart and NOT being intimate and NOT sharing themselves, and only leaning on each other AS COMRADES AND FAMILY. The B/E story is NOT A STORY. It’s a C/B/E story. Bellamy is with Echo but he loves Clarke. Clarke loves Bellamy but she cannot have him. Echo doesn’t know (or does she?) that Bellamy is in love with Clarke, but she’s keeping a secret from him about her true identity.

The B/E story is this. B/E are together, after being enemies for YEARS. We never saw them get together, the growth, or development or romance. His soulmate returns from the dead. Bellamy is torn between his love for Clarke and his commitment to Echo. Bellamy gets closer to Clarke as his relationship with Echo falls apart due to secrets, an unequal power dynamic (king/good spy,) and lack of emotional intimacy. ACTUAL CANON OBSTACLES. When he said he’d forget the past and move forward with her after she finally told him about her family, the narrative did not SHOW that. The narrative actually showed him, instead, lost in grief for Clarke, and not once opening up to Echo about his feelings, but rather sitting alone without human support AT ALL.

It is much like him saying “nothing will change on the ground.” A statement that proved a complete and utter lie. Bellamy can NOT let go of the past (Clarke) even when she is “dead.”

Bellarke IS the story. This show is ABOUT the relationship between Clarke and Bellamy and how they come together, again and again to save their people and humanity. EVERY season Bellarke has gotten closer and more romantic. YES there are obstacles between them, that is so that there IS A STORY TO TELL. In a romance, the obstacle is there to keep the lovers apart. For them to fight through in order to prove that they belong together and will fight to be together.

The entire show is about Bellarke’s relationship, but the secondary plot of season 5 was about Clarke reuniting with Bellamy. It took all season. Now in season 6, the MAIN PLOT was about Bellamy fighting to save Clarke. Bellamy. By himself. Not spacekru. Not her mom. Not her friends. It was Clarke on her own, in her head, facing her past and her fears and loves, and Bellamy on the outside, desperate to keep her alive doing whatever he could, SAYING he wouldn’t let her die, AND THEN PROVING IT by bringing her back with NOTHING BUT HIS LOVE, saying he needed her, saying he couldn’t lose her, saying he wasn’t giving up on her, and then giving her the KISS OF LIFE, despite it not being necessary for CPR.

The KISS OF LIFE. That’s what it’s called. No it wasn’t a real kiss. Absolutely not. It WAS the Kiss of Life. You know where else we see that concept?

Snow White and Sleeping Beauty. Two fairytales that are embedded in our collective subconscious as stories of true love, love saving the day. Clarke was put under a spell by the wicked witch (Josephine) and Bellamy brought her back with True Love’s Kiss. The realistic interpretation of that fairy tale trope is CPR mouth to mouth. Literally, not symbolically, brought back to life by the touch of lip to lip.

Oh but wait. That’s the part that you don’t get. That writers do this shit on purpose to signal to us that this is a love story. That Bellamy and Clarke, the head and the heart, are soulmates. That this is true love. That they are endgame.

The 100 is a post apocalyptic adventure sci fi survival story. Bellarke is an epic, slow burn, soulmate true love story. They committed to THAT story, even if they never got the chance to get to the end of the story. If it had ended anywhere in the middle, they would not have reached their endgame. Every finale had bellarke separated in one way or another. S5 had them TOGETHER, if not with a kiss/confess/sex. I personally do not thing a love story is found in kiss/confess/sex. That is not love. That is not story. It’s cheap. If characters have to kiss/confess/sex to show that they are in love, then the story has failed to show love.

B/E NEEDS to have someone actually SAY that they are together in order to tell us that they are together. We need to see the kiss/confess/sex to know it’s happening, because otherwise it’s not there. (also he has not said he loves echo. script doesn’t count. they took it out.)

We DO NOT NEED to see a kiss/confess/sex to know that Bellarke are in love, soulmates, true love, together, because THE STORY SHOWS US THEIR FEELINGS FOR EACH OTHER.

One is a love story that is amazing. The other is a romantic obstacle to put in the way of our romantic heroes, Clarke and Bellamy, achieving what they truly want. 2199 days/calling her back from the dead levels of truly want. If there’s no obstacle to the goal there’s no story.

B/E is a narrative tool to tell the story of Bellarke. Season 6 set Echo up to have a story about independence, identity and no longer being the good spy to her master. Whether you like that dynamic or not, Bellamy is her master. The story is setting her up to break up with him, Bellarke or no. S6 showed B/E falling apart. They did not have the gravity to exist outside of the ring where there were no outside forces. S6 had Bellamy spending more time, thought, effort and emotion on Clarke than on Echo. And had Echo spending more time, thought, effort and emotion on ECHO than on Bellamy. The B/E relationship is unravelling. Or is unravelled. We’ll find out next season if it’s over or still unwinding.

This is in direct contrast to the Bellarke relationship that has gotten closer, tighter, more intimate, more focused on each other, more physical, more emotionally dependent.

The penultimate scene of s6, the conclusion to the season (the last scene was more like an epilogue that set up s7) had us end on Clarke and Bellamy hugging and talking about emotions and grief and self worth and togetherness and doing better and morals. Somewhere before that, not sure when, it wasn’t shown as important, Bellamy patted Echo on the back and was like “see ya later.”

Catching his breath, running to meet each other, double hug, emotional intimacy, commitment to working together to be better, confirmation of identity, buttery sunlight, sunflares, shadow of two people becoming one. That is how you show an endgame.

Pat on the back see-ya-later is how you show a not-endgame. Because there is actually no game there.

But you don’t understand that, do you? That’s about how you tell a story. Which apparently is irrelevant to you. You only seem to take dialogue as canon. And ignore the dialogue that shows that Bellamy loves Clarke not Echo.

Now we’re getting to the end of the story. Season 7. JR ASKED to be able to tell the end of the story and end it with a satisfying, bittersweet ending. The 100′s version of a happy ending. Just so you know, JR said that season 5 would have a happy ever after ending for one couple. That couple was Marper. That is The 100′s version of a happy ending. True love. Happiness. Peace. Loneliness. Death. Grief. Loss. Dying on their own terms. Living a good life.

Endgame. Bellarke.

#the 100 #bellarke #believe in bellarke #y'all are so stupid when you act like i'm making up literary analysis to feed my delusion #ship and let ship #and you're blocked

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lesbiedykes · 5 years

Text

aY’all wanna hear an AU I have for Carmen Sandiego? No? Well I’m gonna rant anyway.

TLDR; V.I.L.E. is a Coven of Vampires.... more under the cut. Warning: goes not extremely explicit but does get dark, and contains spoilers for season 2.

AU Where VILE is a coven of vampires. These vampires are the stereotypical vampires. They cannot walk in sunlight, fire and silver are dangerous to them. They need sleep albeit not as much as humans. They can eat human food, but it tastes bad. Ultimately, vampires can only be made, not born (or so they believed...)

Approximately 400 years ago (1600′s), Gunnar Maelstrom was reborn into his new life as a Vampire. A noble in his human life, he was soon hunted down by vampire hunters when they realised he had stopped ageing. He is forced to flee and live in the shadows, resentment growing. He spends a century wreaking havoc upon humanity, a gory murder spree that soon bores him. He wishes to return to his life of luxury.

In the early 1700′s, he meets Dexter Wolfe, a talented human thief who manages to rob a group of wealthy individuals blind, making off with their property. Maelstrom is witness to this and follows Wolfe. Wolfe is homeless and stealing to survive, but strives for more. He and Maelstrom strike a deal, and Wolfe is turned into a vampire by Maelstrom.

Maelstrom and Wolfe, for a few years, work as a team. They travel the world, stealing whatever the need to live lavishly. In the late 1700′s, they meet Countess Cleo. She is from a fairly wealthy family and knows much about high society, culture, and art. While they were attempting to rob her, she discovered their secret and then asked to join them. They agreed, due to her valuable skills.

They meet Saira Bellum soon after, an absolute genius for her time. Cleo falls in love with her immediately. The group is impressed with her abilities, and decides to welcome her into their fold. Together they sail to the New World in the 1800′s, where they meet Brunt, a widow put on trial for murdering her husband, who would be sentenced to death. Maelstrom takes an interest in her, and decides to turn her.

The five of them continue to travel for another couple decades, before finally deciding to open V.I.L.E. Academy with their accumulated wealth, and expand their coven.

Each year, they would accept forty students from across the world. Any promising thief could attend and at the end of the year, 15 students would pass. Because the transformation into Vampire was potentially fatal and only the strongest could survive, usually only 5-8 agents survived each year. Those who died during transformation are disposed of and those who survived wake up to an unquenchable thirst, and participate in their first hunt - their old classmates, set loose on the island. (This would, after all, keep V.I.L.E. a secret, two birds with one stone.)

Shadowsan/Suhara was raised to be an actual samurai, deflected days before his first battle and stealing one of his brother’s (who was a samurai) swords. He eventually makes it to V.I.L.E. island, where he is amongst the graduating class and the survivors of the transformation.

Flash forward over 150 years. Dexter Wolfe has grown bored of the island, taking off constantly to explore the world once more. His absences grow more and more frequent. The faculty, his coven, are deeply betrayed believing he might be attempting to run away, and send Shadowsan to kill him.

Shadowsan tracks Wolfe down to Buenos Aires, Argentina, where he sees that Wolfe is intending to run, and.... has a child? Which surely, should be impossible - but it’s not.

Recovering from his shock, Shadowsan plans on killing Wolfe, but is stopped when the police arrive on a raid. He watches as Wolfe puts his daughter in a closet, talks sweetly to her to calm her down, and takes off. Chief shoots Wolfe, which would have been fatal if he were not a vampire.

Shadowsan prepares to do damage control - kill all witnesses, after dealing with the target. He begins the fire in the house, planning to move outside afterwards. What he does not expect is for Wolfe, upon seeing the flames, to run back into the house to save her daughter. (Oh, how his teacher has changed.)

Shadowsan takes the girl and gets out of the house just as the roof collapses. Knowing there’s no way for Wolfe to have survived that, he opts to return to V.I.L.E. without taking out the police.

Shadowsan takes credit for Wolfe’s death and for bringing Black Sheep back to the island. They puzzle over her existence and have Bellum run a few tests that prove she really is half vampire. This being completely unprecedented, they decide to raise her and study her, with the plan to make her their secret weapon.

Through her youth, Black Sheep shows little to no signs of her Vampire lineage. She eats human food and runs around in the daytime (although the sun may hurt her eyes, at times), and grows at the rate of a normal human child. She does seem a bit faster and more agile, but that could just be the fact she was raised by professional thieves. Because of this, the faculty keeps the vampire thing a secret from her, which she generally accepts.

Things continue as they do in canon, with her getting in contact with Player, requesting to attend the academy, and failing (although she does not get fed to her passing classmates, talk about preferential treatment). She follows them out on their mission and has the same realisation about stealing. She is surprised to see that her classmates have changed, but she cannot describe how or why.

She is returned to the island and eventually makes a break for it after stealing the hard drive. Things continue as normal. She meets Ivy and Zack and they join her, the has multiple successful capers....

And then she gets sick.

Her vampire awakening as truly struck. Carmen spends a few days writhing in pain, mimicking an actual transformation. When she comes out of it, she is bloodthirsty. She tackles the first person she finds on the street and begins to drink their blood.

Carmen comes to just as the person looses consciousness, and she’s left with a limp body she rushes to emergency. Carmen rightfully panics, having no idea what has happened to her. Player does his best to research, coming up with only urban legends about vampires. They both agree its ridiculous and instead agree that VILE most likely did something to her to make her like this. She continues her missions, fighting the desire for blood. She is also suddenly more sensitive to sunlight (though not nearly as much as a full vampire) and has lost part of her appetite for human food.

When Chase is taken prisoner and used for bait, she saves him and is almost killed by Brunt. Shadowsan saves her and reveals that he is the one who found her, and that she is half vampire. He gives her a kinda half-assed explanation about her past and tells her that V.I.L.E. is indeed a Vampire Coven. He leaves her with the hard drive and a bottle of pills.

The pills are an imitation blood substitute that vampires can add to beverages and drink to survive between feedings. They were invented by Bellum for the operatives to drink to reduce the need for blood. Carmen, not being a full vampire even after her transformation, wouldn’t need to drink them as often, but they help the cravings.

Meanwhile:

ACME does not know they are hunting Vampires. They genuinely believe it’s just a large criminal organisation. Chase, however.... is a descendent of a long line of vampire hunters, and believes that Carmen is a vampire before she even began to wake up as one. While the claims feel ridiculous, he is still the only agent that has managed to get close to Carmen Sandiego, so ACME wants him on their side.

I have more but I’m tired so maybe I’ll add more tomorrow. If you read this far, thanks!!!

#carmen sandiego #carmen sandiego spoilers #carmen sandiego season 2 #carmen sandiego season 1 #carmen sandiego 2019 #carmen sandiego netflix #Shadowsan #Ivy #CarmIvy #i didnt really mention it in the post but this IS a carmivy au #its also #cleobellum #bc lesbian aunties for the win #dexter wolfe

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mysticjagiya606 · 5 years

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I have always thought it was strange that V and Rika have known the Choi boys since their childhood…The boys being 21 in the game and V being 26.

The only logical age difference would be that the boys were 12 when they were rescued and V would have been 17 years old. (That is being generous since they look about 6 in the photo, but you never know with anime styled artwork).

Considering that Rika and V only broke up shortly before MC joined the RFA, you have to calculate how long the couple had to have been together…9 years. Rika and V have been together for nearly a decade.

V bought Rikas apartment, which would be logically assumed to be directly after she moved out from her adoptive parent’s house.

As soon as V was starting to flourish with his photography and as Rika was just experiencing adolescence and looking for more than the misery she felt with her adoptive parents. Granted, V was the only form of love she knew. They were very young…it makes sense as to why they had an idealized idea of love. Rika wanted to be loved unconditionally…and V wanted to love unconditionally, like his mother described before she died.

Obviously, when they learned about the two abused children from church, they would step in to help. Rika was always wanting to help others and V had a good heart.

Here is what we learned in the Secret Endings, as well as in Saeyoung’s flashbacks.

Saeyoung was offered a job in the agency, by V. To be safe from their politician father, the two had to be split up. After Saeyoung was rescued, Saeran was still at the home. He was being tortured and questioned by his mother…truly believing that his brother abandoned him.

V and Rika wanted to save Saeran too, but it went downhill. The mother refused to give him up and Rika (canon) ends up accidentally killing the twins’ mother in self defense. That is the kind of secret you take to your grave.

Here we are…the GAP.

There is a Wikia saying that Rika kidnaps Saeran into Mint Eye….but Mint Eye doesn’t form until a couple of years before MC appears. This conclusion is drawn from Another Story…which isnt linked to the Canon route.

What really happens in between? When V and Rika are still together?

Like I said, no one explains the gap and the journals in Another Story are not canon. The journals in Another Story only account for if Mint Eye were formed when Saeran was a very young child….which it wasn’t.

So there we have it. The only logical place Saeran could have been is with V and Rika, growing up. This is where the mistakes take root.

Rika and V were kids raising kids…They grew up way too fast and never had the chance to discover themselves or learn to love properly.

To protect Saeran, he would need to be secluded from the outside world. If anyone found out about him, there would be a lot of questions rasied.

V, still having contact with Saeyoung, could not allow the two to have contact with one another. V and Rika moved out into a secluded area by a cliff, which V said Rika suggested for his artistic flair, but honestly, its very convienient for raising a hidden child.

In every route, Searan is extremely familiar with Rika’s apartment. Rika and V also lived together for an unspecified amount of time once the cliff house was purchased and the two were engaged.

Years pass and the RFA is formed. The RFA includes Saeyoung…which is an excellent way to spend time with the boy and make sure he is okay. Again, he cannot contact Saeran, so Saeran would not be able to be invited.

However, Saeran always knew about the activities of the RFA and that his brother was out in the world being “Cheerful” and “happy without him.”

He would have seen his makeshift mom and dad, Rika and V, having fun, chatting and holding parties with the brother he would never be able to speak to again. On top of feeling abandoned, this would create a lot of resentment…

When Rika finally decides to create Mint Eye, we all know that her and V break up. She thinks V abandoned her, even though she left him. She thinks he doesnt want to help save others. She thinks he is a hypocrite and a liar.

Saeran would have seen all of this. He also would have seen V walk away from them and continue to spend time with/chat with the RFA members…including his brother. V didn’t even TRY to get Saeran from Rika. (Which I understand….how could he, without Saeyoung finding out? V isnt a bad person…he just didnt have any other choice.)

In Saerans eyes, it would be very easy to believe that V was a hypocrite who abandoned him…just like his brother did. Rika of course, has a hand in turning him against V, but a lot of it would have happened on it’s own. Rika was basically his MOM since his sorry excuse for a birth mom died…and Rika never left him like everyone else.

His seclusion explains why he is so socially OFF….(not including Ray, because he isnt canon). This explains why he is so utterly devoted to Rika, even without the presence of the elixer. (ignoring the childhood forced elixer because that isnt canon or possible in Seven’s route.) This explains why V couldn’t do anything to save Saeran before it was too late.

V also knew that Rika targeted the RFA members as her primary prey for the Mint Eye. V felt like he had to protect them, as they were never supposed to be dragged into this in the first place. He also felt the duty to preserve Rika’s honor…so the easiest way out was to claim that she died and cut her off entirely. Essentially…from Searans eyes…this would be abandonment. V and Rika saved his life. V was his father figure.

What’s weird is that Cheritz doesn’t really incorporate exactly how long that relationship really had to be and that Rika and V were basically parents.

If V and Rika were together from the twins’ being saved up until Mint Eye was formed (shortly before MC appears), then the story of Rika kidnapping Searan as a child is impossible. That is another reason why Cheritz could not make it canon. It would never fit with the canon route of 707 and the secret endings.

Now, if we want to go ahead and believe in this theory as a possibility…then it would explain other things as well. I am hoping that Rika’s route will come out and explain (canonly) some of the gap…even if it isnt released as canon, it could shed light on some possibilities.

Understanding all of the above, it explains why Rika absolutely LOSES it when V claims their love wasn’t real. Imagine being told that your engagement and 10 year relationship was a lie…after finally leaving foster care and believing that someone finally loves you, unconditionally. After the trauma bonding they ALREADY went through in the past.

It also explains why V has such an extremely hard time coming clean. With this timeline, V has been lying for YEARS. Nearly a decade. He even lied to his very best friend, Jumin.

All of this is especially sad for Jumin, because V is his lifeline. He has no one else. Even as adult friends, they mainly live on memories to get by this phase of dishonesty and absense of V.

Imagine how difficult it would be to admit you were lying and did all of those questionable things?

He would have to admit the existance of Saeran…a child the couple kept secluded from the world. Saeyoung’s true identity…which would put everyone in danger… a child he shipped off to a deadly agency. The twins’ mom…which is a literal murder comitted by the Holy Rika.

It is just too much. It’s too dangerous to come clean. It’s just too much to explain.

The RFA were a group of friends. There was no reason for them to get involved or be put at risk. V puts so much effort into protecting the RFA…On top of that, his personal life is entirely irrelevant to holding charity parties.

Here we can see why V blames himself. He is always saying he does it to protect everyone. He blames himself for everything. Even without Mint Eye, if Rika remained sane, these problems would still exist. This is why he views everything as his mess to clean…even without his idea that his ideal view of love ruined Rika. Now Rika wanted the RFA members to herself in her new cult. It was a mess. Because of this, he is willing to sacrifice himself if it means everything can be fixed. He doesnt care about himself, he cares about protecting everyone else from “his” mistakes. (as he sees it)

We see them repeatedly rejecting getting help from the cops. This may seem stupid, considering that we shouldn’t be encouraging our players to avoid the authorities. Yet, considering the situation, it makes sense.

The murder…the agency…the hidden child…

Even without the cult, everyone would be in danger and in BIG trouble if this was taken to the police. If V were to use the police against Rika and her cult, not only would she not have a chance to be “saved”, but the past would be easily dug up as well. That would be one huge, reputation-ruining, legal fiasco.

The drama would destroy the livelihoods of everyone he cared about. V, a famous photographer…Rika, a well-known coordinator…Jumin, heir to an extremely powerful and known company called C&R…Zen, a rising actor…Saeyoung would be killed by the agency…Only Jaehee and Yoosung would scrape by.

V and Rika made very sketchy and very bad decisions together…even if they had pure intentions at the time. Remember…they were just teenagers when this started.

The mistakes started WAY before Mint Eye was ever an idea. Way before Rika caved into her darkness.

Considering how many years go by….whether Cheritz intended this or not…it would explain SO MUCH. You could make a whole anime or drama out of the eyes of V alone. Perhaps, a lot of this will change once more routes come out.

All I know is that the Choi boys were screwed no matter what and took some serious trauma out of this.

And this, my dudes, is why I REALLY want a Rika route to be released. I want the light shed on what could have happened between saving the boys and forming Mint Eye.

#mysme #mysme theory #mystic messenger #mysme v #jihyun kim #jumin han #saeyoung choi #saeran choi #707 #mysme 707 #mysme rika #yoosung #zen hyun ryu #zenny #jaehee kang #cheritz

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