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onionsaremeansstuff · 3 years

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Would you write a michael (john) smut story were the reader is his soulmate and some random guy is flirting with him. also michael gets possessive with the reader which causes them to have sex

hey! Thanks for the request ! Michael is one of my favorite characters in supernatural so i really liked you request ! I’m not the best smut writer but I tried, hope you like it!

Pairing: Michael!John x reader

Gender: Male

Warnings: Smut

I dont own the character or the gif

"Y/N! Stop!" A deep, booming voice ordered which caused you to stop.

You didn't need to turn around to know who it was that ordered you to stop.

It was the archangel, Michael.

A few weeks ago, Chuck had decided to release Michael from the cage, as well as giving Adam his body back and Michael was using young John Winchester's body as a vessel.

You had never met the archangel before and honestly, you never wanted to meet him. But, since you lived with the Winchesters, meeting him was bound to happen eventually.

When you first met the Archangel, he only stared at you like he was seeing through you and claimed that you were special.

Apparently you were some kind of powerhouse that Chuck created for Michael.

As long as you are living, Michael gets stronger, especially when he's around you.

When he first claimed that you were special, you scoffed and told him to go fuck himself and leave you alone. But, that didn't stop the prince of Heaven from doing what he wanted.

He always came to the bunker to check on you. And you asked why he cares about you so much.

"I don't care about you, I only care about what you can do, little human." He told you.

He made it very clear why he came to check up on you and this time wasn't any different.

He also liked to order you around.

"It's already 3 AM, Y/N. You humans need your sleep. Go to bed now and that's an order!"

You looked at him tiredly and was about to say something back to him when you really looked at him and his vessel.

Damn, John was hot.

You met older John before and you thought that he was definitely a DILF.

But, his younger self was hot as fuck.

"Stop having those thoughts about my vessel and go to bed!" The Angel ordered once again.

"Okay, you don't tell me what to do. You don't own me," You responded, and annoyance was written across Michael's face. He snapped his fingers and you were suddenly lying down in your bed with your pajamas on, "Michael!" You scolded.

You were standing in the kitchen, waiting for Dean to finish making breakfast which consisted of pancakes and bacon.

"Goodnight, Y/N." He growled out before he disappeared with the sound of flapping wings.

---

"Hurry up, Dean. I'm starving!" You exclaimed and a chuckle left the older man's mouth.

"You will survive, kiddo." He replied and went back to cooking the food.

Finally, he finished the food and put it on a plate for you. He handed it to you and you took it out of his hands quickly, plopping down into the chair and picking up a fork, ready to eat this delicious food.

When you were about to eat it, the plate freakin' disappeared. It was gone.

"What the-" Before you could finish that sentence, a plate full of salad appeared in front of you.

A freakin' salad?!

"Your diet is horrible, little human." Michael commented with that stupid smirk on his face.

"I'm sure that there are other important things for you to do in Heaven right now than to worry about my health and my food choices, Michael." You said angrily, anger rising in your chest.

Dean sat at the table, eating his food as he watched you two go at it.

"There's actually nothing important that I have to do in Heaven right now, Y/N. Heaven is doing great which is the exact opposite of what you are doing right now. Don't even get me started on the fact that you didn't even get 8 hours of sleep last night."

You blinked at the angel in front of you.

This angel is crazy. He is not your dad and was not someone to boss you around and make you eat rabbit food. You don't eat rabbit food. You now see and understand what Dean was talking about when Sam brought that food in here.

You have officially had enough.

You just smiled at them. A huge fake smile and grabbed the knife off the table. You walked over to the wall as the other two standing in the room watched you. After cutting your palm, you drew that angel banishing sigil on the wall.

"What are you-" Michael couldn't finish that sentence because you completed the sigil and sent that damn angel away.

"Ah, couple fights always make my mornings better." Dean spoke once Michael was gone with his mouth full of bacon and you rolled your eyes, leaving the room.

---

That night, you and the Winchesters went to a bar.

The brothers headed inside while you stayed outside, sitting on the bench. There weren't anyone out here except for a few other people. Some drunk and some not.

"Hey handsome, did your license get suspended because you are driving me crazy." A random guy said that really cheesy pick up line to you, giving you a smile and you laughed.

"You get a 0 for the pickup line, but a 10 for making me laugh." You told him and started chatting with him.

"So, Y/N..." He started rubbing his finger up and down your thigh as you felt yourself flush, "I may not be from NASA, but can I show you stars today?"

You opened your mouth to reply, but the annoying angel interrupted your conversation.

"Sorry, but he's busy today." Michael spoke, irritation could be heard in his voice. He grabbed onto your shoulder and teleported you back to the bunker.

"What the hell is your problem, Michael?" You screamed at the archangel.

"That disgusting human tried to have sex with you, Y/N! I saved you!"

"Maybe I wanted to have sex with him, Mikey." You retaliated, grabbing your knife and getting ready to draw that angel banishing sigil again, but Michael snapped his fingers and the knife disappeared.

"You deserve way better than that filthy mongrel." Michael insisted.

"Look, I know I'm like your powerhouse, or whatever, but you can't control my life. My eating habits and sleep schedule were pretty harmless, but who I have sex with is crossing a line and is none of your business." You told him, "Besides, I'm human. A mongrel or a hairless ape like you always say, so why do you care so much?"

Michael stared at you for a long time before telling you what he was thinking, "Because I can't stand the idea of someone touching you." He let out a sigh and looked anywhere other than you.

You looked at him in confusion, "Why can't you stand it?"

"I lied to you, Y/N. You are not a source of energy for me. You never were." He admitted, sitting on the bed, "You are so much more than just that. You are my soulmate."

You stared at him for a couple seconds before you started laughing hysterically.

"Me? Your soulmate?" You laughed again before having a serious expression on your face, "If this is some plan to get me to let you control my life, it's not gonna work."

He looked at you, hurt and confused.

"I'm serious, Y/N. When I left the cage, Dad told me he had created a soulmate for me weeks ago." He got up from the bed and walked over to you, "When he showed me you, I started to laugh. How can a hairless ape be my soul mate? My father must have been crazy." He looked at you deep in your eyes, "But, I couldn't stop thinking about you. I looked down on you from Heaven all the time to see how you were and your little habits. Oh My Father, I couldn't stand it. I wanted you. I wanted every inch of you," He walked closer to you and placed his hand on your cheek, "When I first met you in person, I thought about just taking care of you and being close to you and when I saw that man hit on you, I couldn't take it anymore. My grace boiled inside of me and before I knew it, I was on earth."

You couldn't really process everything that he just said, but for some reason you knew that he was telling the truth.

"Michael..."

"I can't stand the idea of another person, or thing touching you, Y/N. Please accept me as your soulmate." He bowed, waiting for your answer.

You always said you hated Michael and everything he did, but that was far from the

As much as the angel irritated you and could be very annoying, you felt a feeling of love deep down for this man.You loved Michael and all the things he has done for you.

So, you knew what decision was right for you in the end.

"I accept you as my soulmate."

And with that the angel smiled and attached his lips to yours. His muscular arms soon pulled at your waist, bringing you closer to him.

"I wanted to do this for so long." He said between kisses and then lifted you up.

You were slightly worried about your weight but soon remembered that for an angel, you basically weighed nothing.

"Please Y/N, allow me to have you tonight. Allow me to make our flesh become one and allow me to merge your soul with my grace." You grunted yes between his lips but he seemed to understand since he threw you on your bed while looking at you as if you were his prey.

He started removing the shirt he was wearing and you could see the man's muscular torso.

"Lust is a deadly sin, Y/N." He bent down and started kissing your collarbone until he reached your ear, "Lucky you have an angel to cleanse you of your sins."

Michael went back to your neck, sucking on it, making you moan his name.

"This is it Y/N, pray for me." He started to suck hard on your neck until it was all marked with hickeys, "Now no miserable mortal will dare touch what is mine." He got up a little and kissed you hard, as his hand went under your shirt and caressed your torso. Michael pulled away to look at you.

"You are by far the most perfect human to ever exist. in fact, it is a crime to compare you to a human. You are closer to a God." He said as a gentle hand stroked your sides.

"Michael, there are more beautiful humans in the world than me." you said a little shy

"Well, I have watched humanity billions of years and you are my father's most beautiful creation." You blushed and Michael smirked, feeling confident.

He started to remove his belt slowly, lowering his pants enough for you to see his underwear.

"Do you like what you see, my prince?" He teased, winking at you.

"Who knew an angel could secretly be a demon in bed."

"You woke up a darker side of me, my prince. I had to deal with them myself, so I ended up learning something or two." He took off his pants and lowered his underwear enough to show his pubes.

"Did you watch porn?" You asked and he just smiled.

"It doesn't matter now, honey." Michael lowered his underwear and revealed his erect member.

You had seen John naked once by accident and you already knew that older Winchester had a big package.

But, oh my Chuck the size scared you a little bit.

"We’ll take it easy, Y/N. Don't be afraid." He gently caressed your thigh as a method to calm you down.

When he saw that you were fine he crawled over to you, sitting on your chest and pointing his erect member in front of you

"You know... seeing you sucking lollipops and popsicles was always a hell of a good sight to see. Your lips working on something so cold and hard, and still not being able to do anything. Well, I think you should pay me for having teased me for so long." He stated, brushing the head of his dick on your tongue "What a sight..." He gently put his dick in your mouth, inch by inch until it reached halfway and stopped.

"So hot and so cozy." Michael groaned and put a hand on your head, gently stroking your hair "Look at me." He ordered and you complied.

The moment you looked into his eyes you felt a thick taste of pre-cum in your mouth.

Slowly Michael pulled his hip back, leaving only his cockhead in your mouth before slowly putting it all back on. He repeated this movement over and over until you got used to it and then he started to fuck your mouth, getting deeper and deeper into your throat and making you choke a few times. Michael fucked your throat with formidable speed as he threw his head back and moaned.

"So perfect." He spoke as he took his dick out of your mouth, bending down and planting a sweet kiss on your lips as well as checking if you were okay, "Let me worship you, my prince." Michael snapped his fingers and soon you were fully naked.

He turned you over and started to kiss your neck gently, making a kiss trail up and down your neck. He slowly went lower and lower, until he reached your ass. He put a hand on each cheek separating them and revealing your hole.

"So beautiful." Was the last thing you heard before feeling something wet and hot touching the perimeter of your hole.

Michael gently brushed you with the tip of his tongue while his rough hands gripped your ass tightly. He wanted to mark you everywhere on your body.

Soon a strange but good feeling started inside you, it was like you were being touched inside and soon a groan escaped your lips.

"What are you doing?" You asked between incessant moans.

"My grace has many uses, Y/N and I heard that stimulating the prostate causes great pleasure. Apparently this is true." He replied as he ate you out.

But this time he didn't lick gently. He was devouring you. Michael's tongue was fast and hungry, exploring the entire perimeter of your hole before penetrating you.

It was too much. The feeling was so overwhelming. Michael's tongue along with his grace made you unable to think.

You felt your orgasm coming real quick, but you couldn't warn Michael in time.

When you were so close to a release everything stopped and you felt something holding your dick.

"Not yet, Y/N. We're going to do this together." Michael said and came out of the middle of your legs, kissing your crack up to your neck. He forced you to look at him and kissed you, "Y/N. My prince, will you give me permission to take you?"

You took a moment to contemplate Michael. The blue-green eyes looked at you with indescribable passion, as if you were a masterpiece that deserved to be contemplated. His mouth curled upward into a smile and his dark hair was so sweaty.

You always thought Michael's vessel was beautiful, but now you can't think of anything more beautiful than him. You no longer see him as young John, but as the person who loved you.

"Y/N? Is everything okay? If I went too far I'm sorry I thought that-"

"No, sorry I was just lost in thoughts." You kissed him on the lips, "Take me, Michael."

He smiled and snapped his fingers.

"As much as the whole preparation process is interesting and important, I am impatient, so why not just use my grace, right?" He winked at you and turned you on your back and positioned himself between your legs.

Michael slowly started to penetrate you until the head of his dick was completely inside of you. He looked at you to check that everything was fine before going in deeper. Inch by inch until he was completely inside. He bent down and started kissing your neck, waiting for you to get used to his size.

Michael then started to move, taking all of his length except his head and then putting everything back on. He repeated the movement over and over, each time with more speed until finally he pounds you.

Michael turned into a moaning mess while he fucked you.

He started kissing you while you moaned against each other.

One of Michael's hands flicked your nipple while another explored and caressed your torso. This along with Michael's accurate hit on your prostate made you moan loudly and Michael smirked.

"Do you think that man from earlier could make you feel the way you're feeling now?" Michael asked, "Do you think he would be able to fuck you the way I fuck you?" You didn't answer the question, but Michael already knew the answer.

Michael's arms wrapped around you and turned you over. Now you were on top of him.

"Ride me, babyboy." He put his hands behind his head and waited for you to start riding him, admiring the view.

Michael had seen countless things in the world. From the paintings of each classic painting to the creation of each of the wonders of the world, but nothing could match the sight he was seeing now.

With your eyes closed and your head thrown back, you moaned and rode him like there was no tomorrow.

Michael moved his hands and placed one on each side of your, guiding you in the movements you were making.

He knew was almost close and knew you would soon be close, too. Michael pulled you against his chest, moving so that he could move his hips so that he could continue to fuck you.

"Y/N," He moaned out," My prince, my soul mate. I love you and I would leave everything for you. Heaven and my grace. You are my everything." Michael declared, but you could barely think with him pounding into you, his dick hitting your prostate constantly.

You felt something warm involving you.

It was Michael's wings.

With a grunt, Michael came inside of you but without stopping his movements.Your battered prostate along with the feeling of Michael's hot cum inside you brought you to your orgasm.

With your orgasm, Michael's movements became more and more slow until he finally stopped with both you panting hard.

Michael kissed you everywhere. On your head, your lips, your forehead, your neck.

His wings still surrounded you.

Michael moved you, putting you aside while he spooned you, his cock still inside you.

A comforting hand gently caressed your thigh, "You are perfect, Y/N. I am eternally grateful that you let me love you." He kissed the back of your neck "Now rest my prince. Tomorrow we will have many things to do." He gave you one last kiss on the back of your neck.

You didn't know exactly what your relationship with Michael would be like now. But honestly you didn't care about that.

All you cared about was the fact that your angel was hugging you with his wings surrounding you.

And nothing else.

#Michael x male reader #Michael x reader #male reader #x male reader #supernatural x male reader #supernatural x reader #young john winchester #supernatural Michael x reader #John winchester x Male reader #John winchester x reader

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ordinaryschmuck · 3 years

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Top 10 Favorite Fictional Couples

Happy Valentines Day, people on the internet who probably won't read this! I'm an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons. And even though I'm a lonely bastard who will absolutely die alone one day, I am also a sucker for romance. If a story decides to include a cute couple in it, then you better believe I'm going to gush over them for an unhealthy amount of time for a man my age. Even more so if they answer the three most essential questions that I think applies to every romantic couple in fiction:

Why do they like each other? (Looks don't count. It can be an option, but it shouldn't be the only option.)

Would it make sense for them to be together? (Like, if this couple would exist in real life, would you expect them to last.)

Do they have chemistry? (This is the most important one as a couple can dominate just by the chemistry alone.)

So today, I am going to rank my top ten favorite couples in fiction, who just so happen to answer most, if not all, of these questions. Now, I could be cute and make a top fourteen list...but not too long ago, I just listed off the twenty best-animated series of the 2010s, so I think it's best if I stick to the basics. Also, I should make a few things clear:

A. These are couples, not ships. The pairing has to have a canon kiss, or at the very least, a canon confession to be on the list. This means sorry, Lumity fans, but Luz and Amity are not going to be on this list...even though they would absolutely be #1 if they could be!

B. The couple has to at least spend an entire episode being together, which means no last-minute hookups because the writers wanted to drag out the romantic tension. (Sorry, Catradora fans)

With that out of the way, let's get started with--

10. Laura Hollis and Carmilla Kernstien from Carmilla (Web Series)

The chemistry between these two is on point. Laura’s and Carmilla's actors Elise Bauman and Natasha Negovanlis are so convincing when acting like a couple that I am honestly shocked to find out they never actually dated. This is good because everything else about Laura and Carmilla's relationship is...kind of the worst. Don't get me wrong, as a couple, these two are fantastic, adorable, well-written, and well-performed. But the writers seem very fond of keeping them bickering and broken up rather than actually having them together. And that is where the issue lies. If the writers committed to Laura and Carmilla being together instead of doing this whole "will they or won't they" crap, on top of them being selfish idiots in season two, then you better believe they would be in the top three, at least. As they are, they at least act adorable enough to make the top ten.

9. Gregg and Angus from Night in the Woods

Ok, I'm gonna level with you: I just wanted to put an mlm relationship on this list, and this was the best I can come up with (I haven't seen Good Omens, nor have I finished Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts yet to see Benson's relationship with Troy. Leave me alone). As a male bisexual, I'm kind of disappointed. I know that male pairings exist in media, but for the life of me, I don't think they are as celebrated as much, or as frequent, as female pairings have been. This is sad because I would honestly love to see how more couples like Gregg and Angus.

These two act so much like a real couple. Gregg and Angus care and support each other so much, yet they still have big arguments as any couple would. They clearly love each other but still have issues they both need to deal with if they want to grow. Plus, I'm just a sucker for opposites attract. And you can't get more opposite than the loud and bombastic Gregg and his quiet and serious boyfriend Angus. There are probably better mlm pairings than these two (And if there are, then let me know. I'd love to check them out), but Gregg and Angus prove that any relationship, no matter the gender, can be the same as any other. Both the wholesomeness and the faults.

8. Peter Parker and Michelle Jones from the Marvel Cinematic Universe

I put these two a little low because we barely see them spend time as a couple. Peter and Michelle got together at the end of Spider-Man: Far From Home, and we only get a glimpse of how their relationship works in the last few minutes. However, I'm willing to argue that they count because they are guaranteed to be a couple in the sequels, and we'll be allowed to see them grow. How often do you get to say that for other fictional couples who get together at the end of a long story? Plus, Peter and Michelle earn extra bonus points for being the best couple in a Spider-Man movie. Michelle is a league's better character than the MJ in the Sam Rami trilogy, and the chemistry is still adorable but not overtly cutesy like it was in The Amazing Spider-Man movies. So even though Peter and Michelle just got together, they show a lot of promise, if you ask me. Their interactions are adorable, you can tell that Michelle likes Peter for Peter, and they are the most accurate depictions of young love you’ll ever see. Just look at that first kiss. It was one filled with inexperience and awkwardness and I just love it! I’m already interested in what these two have to offer and I can’t wait to see what happens next with them.

7. Andy Dwyer and April Ludgate from Parks and Recreation

The best description you'll ever hear about this couple is that they are what happens when a dog and a cat fall in love. Andy is dopey, happy, and loyal to no end. April is intimidating, cynical, and is already plotting your murder as we speak. What I'm saying is that these two shouldn't work...but they do. Somehow, by every leap of logic, Andy and April complete each other. They are both so far gone from reality, yet at the same time, both keep each other grounded in more ways than one. It's a weird paradox that never ceases to amaze, nor does it cease to be adorable. They do go through bullcrap love triangles and a "will they or won't they scenario" in seasons two and three, but once that crap is over, the writers lean into the potential these two have as a great couple. And trust me when I say that it is all lovely to watch.

6. Rapunzel and Eugene from Tangled: The Series

Huh. I guess romance really does exist after Happily Ever After.

Joking aside, I was surprised by how well these two work as a pairing. Usually, when the Disney Prince and Princess get together in the end, there is nothing more to the relationship. And even if their movie gets a spin-off series, the dynamic is as generic and forgettable as it can be. For Rapunzel and Eugene, it is different. Their chemistry is top-notch, their constant love and support for each other are admirable/adorable, and the complete trust they have for one another is absolute perfection. I was already surprised by how good Tangled: The Series was, but the fact that the main couple is somehow better here than they were in their own movie is something I would have never expected.

5. Rigby and Eileen from Regular Show

And seeing how we're talking about surprises, who saw these two being the best couple in the series? With the number of times that the writers focussed on Mordecai's romantic hang-ups and how often Muscle Man and Starla were considered the only canon couple, I was shocked when it turned out Rigby and Eileen have the best loving relationship in Regular Show. Even crazier, their relationship is built entirely in the background of the first six seasons. Since her introduction, Eileen has been head over heels for Rigby since the beginning (for reasons I'll never understand), and Rigby slowly reciprocated. Until the big reveal in the season six finale, there was nothing but implications as they were trying to hide their relationship and not rub how perfect it is in Mordecai's face (no matter how much Rigby wants to). But once we get to see them as an official couple, it all becomes clear why they work so well. Eileen loves Rigby for Rigby, and will always support him, faults and all. Rigby pays it all back in spades, wanting to be a better person, as well as a better boyfriend, for the one person who always believes there was something good inside. Not even his own best friend had that much faith in him. And on top of all of that, they're just cute. They may not have been the central hook in the series, but they are definitely much appreciated.

4. Chris and Elise from Dan Vs./Millie and Moxxie from Helluva Boss

These four are tied because they pretty much have the same dynamic. Chris and Moxxie are these pathetic losers who somehow managed to marry Elise and Millie: Badass assassins who could effortlessly marry any man they want. And what they want are their pathetic losers. It's extra wholesome for Chris and Elise, as Chris really can't do that much right, especially in comparison to the ever-perfect Elise. Yet, she still cares deeply for Chris and will promptly destroy anyone or anything that causes him harm. That being said, while Millie and Moxxie are both equally deadly, there is an odd hilarity to the fact that these literal demons from hell are so gosh darn wholesome. Seriously, their literal job is to kill people who screw over those who went to hell, and I'm always going "D'aww" when M and M always do something cute. Explain that logic to me!

There's nothing more I can say about these four, as they're adorable couples that prove love comes in the most impossible circumstances and the unlikeliest places.

3. Ruby and Sapphire from Steven Universe

I'll always remember that Ruby and Sapphire are the first couple that proved to me that there is nothing wrong with a same-sex pairing, especially in children's media. Before Steven Universe, I wasn't necessarily told that same-sex couples are wrong, but they're not meant for kids. Then I found out that these two girls, on a kids show of all places, we're madly in love and my first response was: "...Huh." And this was before I knew I was bisexual, so I wasn't even that obsessed about it at the time. But the more I saw Ruby and Sapphire, and the more I learned about how starved the LGBTQ+ was for representation, the more I really appreciated them. Ruby and Sapphire never fail to be precious, and the fact that they barely spend any longer than a few minutes apart is downright heartwarming (and incredibly literal if you've seen the show). They also broke a ton of barriers to proper representation. Not only were Ruby and Sapphire one of the first explicit lesbian couples in children's animation, but they're also the first ones to actually get married. Because of such a power move, many networks and shows make it less of a challenge for writers to include more gay characters in their stories. There is still a lot of hard work that those writers face, but it certainly seems it's less of a challenge than it would be before Steven Universe came out (Ha!). Ruby and Saphire are the first fictional gay couple I have been introduced to and have made an incredible impression ever since.

2. Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum and Marcelene Abadeer from Adventure Time

But while it's Ruby and Sapphire that introduced me to the concept of a same-sex couple, it's Princess Bubblegum and Marceline that made me root for one. In (I want to say) 2017, I started rewatching Adventure Time, knowing that queer relationships were indeed a thing. This means that not only did I finally caught the INCREDIBLY noticeable subtext in "What Was Missing," but I was legitimately chanting, "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" when I got to the episode "Varmints." And when they finally did kiss in the series finale, I full-on jumped out of my chair and screamed, "YES!" That never happens. Not even for the straight couples that I've obsessed over before this. Either I coo at how adorable they are, or just smile a warm and gentle smile. But letting out a very audible cheer that my college roommates definitely heard? That shows how deeply I cared for these two. And can you really blame me?

Not only is the chemistry on point with Bubblegum and Marceline, but it's interesting getting to see their relationship evolve through the course of the series. They have a dynamic of a couple who broke up on bad terms (long before "Obsidian" confirmed this), and you slowly get to see them reconnect to that spark they lost long ago. Plus, the more you see them interact, the more of their history is revealed, and thus it becomes clear why they fell for each other in the first place. Bubblegum keeps Marceline responsible, while Marceline helps Bubblegum learn how to loosen up. They balance each other nicely, and after some much needed growing up from the both of them, that spark returns. And they're much more of a loving unit than they were years ago. It's incredible to watch, and I would honestly see an entire spin-off series about them. But, as great as Bubblegum and Marceline are, there is a reason they are not my number one.

(There’s no art for this one because they’re characters from a book and I don’t want to steal someone else’s fanart for the sake of my crappy Tumblr post)

1. Percy Jackson/Annabeth Chase from Percy Jackson and the Olympians/Heroes of Olympus

And that reason is that I can't resist the first-ever pairing that I obsessed over. Percy and Annabeth might just be the example I live by for how couples should be written in media. Dynamic wise, of course. In terms of telling a story, their relationship was handled poorly in Percy Jackson and the Olympians. It was filled with agonizing love-triangles, a very long wait, and they were one of those couples who didn't get together until the end of the series. Which is a major no-no, in my opinion. But, when they finally get to be a couple in Heroes of Olympus, it is downright perfection. Percy and Annabeth are what happens if these two badass warrior heroes fell in love. They worry about each other and are willing to die for each other (if need be) but still have an intense amount of faith and trust for one another. The number of times Percy or Annabeth knew they would be alright because they have each other is incredibly high, no matter what series of books they appear in. They work well together, as well as off each other. Percy is this bumbling idiot who wins his battles through a mix of luck and skill, where Annabeth is this intelligent warrior who has trained since the age of seven. They compliment each other perfectly, and their constant playful bickering is always fun. I love these two, I love their love, and they will always be one of my favorite fictional couples in media.

(That is until Luz and Amity from The Owl House become cannon. In which case, you better believe they'll be number one.)

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And those are my favorite couples. Out of curiosity, what are yours? Or, at least, what are your top five? Don't feel afraid to let me know or even make a list of your own.

Have a happy Valentine's Day, with whoever you want to celebrate it with and however you want to do it.

Now, if you don't excuse me, I have an entire to-do list of s**t I have to do, and I gotta figure out which to work on first.

(Should I review Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles next, or do that scene breakdown for Amphibia? Oh, the possibilities are killing me...)

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vermemesol · 3 years

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Royalty! AU | Bang Chan

I recently dreamt about Chan so here’s a attempt at writing my favourite AU.

I haven’t written anything since a year ago so bear with me please.

I try to make my writings as gender neutral as possible!

Pairing : Bang Chan x Reader

Genre : Fluff, a little bit of angst (?)

“Your highness, it’s almost noon! Eligible princes have been waiting for hours!” Your maid begged for you to get out of bed for the thousandth time this morning.

“They’re still waiting?” You muffled from under the sheets that were soon pulled off of you. Instantly you were blinded by the immense amount of sunlight beaming through the larger than needed windows. Your gaze shifts to the clock on your bedside table, “You lied. It’s only ten. That’s barely almost noon.” You yawned as you stretched the upper half of your body.

“If I hadn’t lied, you would have never gotten up, would you?” Your maid grinned cheekily as she helped you get out of bed.

The usual morning routine begins. Washing up, getting dressed, not having breakfast because you’re late AGAIN.

You’re wheeled through the doors of the room that the gentlemen are in, or at least, supposed to be in. The room is without any human presence. Technically, it was still early. Then again, does anyone really want a wheelchair bound as their partner? Whether it was too early for any prince to actually be here or no one was supposed to come in the first place, you didn’t really feel upset that it came to be like this anyway.

“Did anyone really say they were coming in the first place?” You sighed as you wheeled yourself into the room.

“Well-“ before your maid could finish her sentence, the door that was already closed had flung open again.

“G-good morning, your highness!” The young man that barged through the doors greeted whilst trying to catch his breath. His blonde hair disheveled, probably because he ran here. His white dress shirt that was not fully buttoned up partially soaked with sweat. A wide grin accompanied by dimples plastered onto his face as he scanned the room to find you. This boy was a complete stranger to you. You’ve never seen anyone as indescribable as him.

“Good morning...?” You responded.

“Chan. Christopher Bang Chan.” He added.

You looked at your maid and she looked back at you. Both of you evidently confused. You assumed that she would know who this is but she shook her head. You didn’t know who he was either.

The maid had escorted the young man to a different room for him to freshen up before returning again shortly. He sat down in the seat opposite you. Separated by a small table, you started eyeing him up and down. He, however, started drinking the tea that was in front of him while trying to avoid your gaze. Shy? You assumed. He’s actually quite the looker now that you’re seeing him up close. And his actions make him seem really... cute? Very different from all the people that you’ve met.

“How about a stroll in the garden?” You suggested, taking a sip of your tea.

The two of you ended up strolling in the garden, on a bright, sunny morning. He’s pushing your wheelchair and your maid is holding the parasol. It's so hot that you kind of regret your decision but you can't just go back on what you suggested now, can you?

The two of you end up sitting at yet another table, just that this time, it's outside. And without your maid because you shooed her off.

"Not to be rude but I've honestly never heard of you." You suddenly stated.

"It's okay. So long as I know who you are." Of course he did. Almost everyone knew your story if not you. The royal family encountered a tragic event that caused the only child to be left without parents nor the ability to walk at the age of twenty.

Although you couldn't exactly pinpoint who Chan was. He did make you feel as if you probably do have memories of this person. Maybe you also experienced amnesia after the accident? The doctor never mentioned that though.

As much as you hate to admit it, Chan really looked ethereal. And despite not speaking much, you could already tell that he's a good person. Others would probably be here to take your hand for their own benefits but he didn't seem that way. What kind of person would run here to see you without caring about how they looked upon arrival, without bringing a carriage full of gifts to appeal to you.

"What are you here for though?" you asked, genuinely curious. You didn't look at him in the eye when you asked.

He didn't immediately answer. Probably thinking about what he's supposed to say. "I'm here to take your hand in marriage of course." he finally says confidently, making you look at him eye to eye. He was not joking, not even the slightest hint of dishonesty. He's really here to make you his.

"But why?" you question again. Maybe he's poor? Needs the benefits? But he really didn't seem like he wanted anything. The longer you stared into his eyes, the more you realised that he wanted you and nothing else.

"I want to take care of you, your highness." he answered yet again. His smile could really kill you at this point.

Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months. The two of you got to know each other more and eventually he proposed. It wasn't unexpected but you were still questioning why.

"Is it a burden that I'm unable to walk?"

"No." Chan answered as he pushed you along the halls of the palace towards your room.

"Why me?" you asked, being lifted off of your chair and into bed.

Chan sat down beside you, looking into your eyes, carresing your cheek. "I saw you at a ball a long time ago, with your parents. Didn't get to talk to you but I talked to your parents. I didn't make any promises or anything. After hearing about the accident, I just felt like maybe I should make a visit. And here we are." he finished, gently kissing your temple.

It's no wonder you don't remember him. You hated those balls. A lot of times you either went home early or stayed far away from the ballroom. He saw you but you probably only had a glimpse of him.

"So you ended up coming here genuinely just wanting to take care of a poor kid?" you joked.

"Of course not! I genuinely wanted to get to know you better! That hurts that you think of me like that." he clutched his chest as if his heart hurt.

You pull him in for a hug and eventually the both of you end up drifting towards slumber land.

- END -

A/N : Wow I really suck at writing.

07.05.2021 GMT +8 1409

Masterlist

#Stray kids #Skz #Chan #Royalty au #Scenario #Fic #fiction #Bang chan #Ye m8

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hvilested · 3 years

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Infatuation Is a Temporary Illusion: How to Escape the Pain

LucyJul 14, 2020

As a neuroscientist, I am fascinated by infatuation; it's such a strong, mysterious phenomenon, yet is entirely scientifically-explainable.

This Too Shall Pass

I will start this by saying that however deep and impossible your situation feels, you will leave this infatuated state. There will be a day when you can think about this special person without any type of pain or passion. You will remember how strongly you felt towards them while they didn't have the same feelings for you, and it will seem completely crazy that you were so stuck in limerence.

Albeit cliché, the concept that time is the only thing that will make you feel less magnetically drawn to someone who you cannot be with is true. You cannot magic away these feelings, because they are a strong illusion created by chemicals in your brain. Over time, your neurobiology will balance out again and this person, who is acting as a potent stimulus, will no longer inspire the same physiological response in you. Thinking about your situation scientifically helps, as it steers you away from thinking in terms of romance and delusion.

What Is an Infatuation?

Are you currently struggling with huge, incredibly deep feelings for someone that you will never be with? We use the term 'infatuation' (also limerence) to describe the state of being utterly enamored by and obsessed with someone; it is the wildest thing that a human can experience in the sober, baseline state. The invisible pull that you feel will seem so novel and colossal in strength that, if experiencing infatuation for the first time, you will be certain that you will 'never feel this again', and that this person is 'the one'. After all, your body and mind react so strongly and surely to them that it is impossible to imagine a life worth living that doesn't have them at the center of it. This is not the case, as you will experience several infatuations in your life if you are prone to them.

Due to differing genetics and brain chemistry, some people are more prone to entering limerence than others; in fact, some will never experience this roller coaster of euphoria and insecurity. Unrequited crushes are normal and not too much of an issue; unrequited infatuation not only encompasses incredibly powerful attraction, admiration and a general feeling of 'love' towards the subject, but is also agonizing and depressive by nature.

If the infatuated cannot be with the person that they desire, they will likely enter a deep depression and will feel completely out of order for weeks or months, until the feelings fade or they gain closure. Irrational thoughts and misery normally accompany this rollercoaster experience, as well as physical symptoms such as elevated libido and lack of appetite (due to an excess of dopamine in the brain).

Is It a Normal Crush or an Infatuation?

You may wonder how we can define things as vague and fluid as romantic feelings. However, the line between a healthy crush and a problematic infatuation is not as thin as it seems. Crushes can be unwanted and painful, bringing ups and downs into our lives, but a true infatuation blows a crush out of the water. If deeply infatuated with someone that you cannot be with, you will think irrational thoughts such as 'I want to die - X isn't in my life and everything else makes me miserable'.

These thoughts are falsehoods, for the world is so open that you will definitely encounter other people (as well as places, music and even fashion trends) that you find fascinating.

If you are simply experiencing a romantic crush, you will find the person very appealing and may intensely want to date them, but there will be less feeling than there is in limerence - less hormonal influence, less joy, and less crying. The highs will be less euphoric, sure, but the lows will not be nearly as crushing as those experienced in the limerent state.

The difference between a crush and an infatuation is that the former allows you to enjoy the warm feelings and be in control of your emotions, while the latter is extremely unhealthy and causes the sufferer a lot of pain if they cannot be with the person they desire. A crush may feel very strong and you may want to act differently to charm the subject of your feelings, but it will never be as delusional., destructive and fantasy-based as a true infatuation is.

So, how does one differentiate between the two? In short, if you feel so distraught that you cannot be with the person that you are googling for solutions, crying before bed and upon waking, losing interest in activities that you normally love, struggling to imagine a future without the person in your life, you are definitely infatuated and not crushing. If you treat this emotional conundrum as if it were a drug addiction, you will stop feeling this way in a matter of weeks or months.

Why Do People Become Infatuated in the First Place?

Most people go through their lives organically forming healthy 'crushes'; even when not actively seeking a partner, they will encounter a few people a year that will grab their attention and seem irresistible. After all, this is biologically advantageous; we are mammals and are meant to pursue, and eventually reproduce with, those that we deem physically and emotionally intriguing.

Having said this, I will clarify that your sexual orientation is totally unimportant in your ability to develop all-consuming, raging feelings for someone. This level of feeling is just as prevalent between people of the same gender as it is between those of opposite genders. However, we are wired to pursue, bond with and care for other human beings for the sole reason of reproduction and the survival of our species. If someone is infatuated with someone of the same gender, they will experience the same concoction of erratic emotions as a straight person. Neurochemical changes will temporarily dominate your life regardless of the perceived likelihood of the passing on of your genes.

infatuations

Rupi Kaur

What to Do? Understand That Your Feelings Are Scientifically-Explainable and Never Permanent

The wild array of feelings that come along with any form of attraction may seem intangible and wondrous, but they are caused by altered levels of different neurotransmitters. Focusing on the science behind such a strong human experience is crucial in dealing with the pain that it can cause you.

Reject dwelling in the infatuation too much. It's incredibly tempting to spend hours writing and lamenting about the subject of your "love", only to enter an even more heightened state of delusion. Even if this isn't your first infatuation and you saw that you got over your last one, remember that, naturally, you will be convinced that this person is the one and that you are ruining your life by missing out on being with them.This is nonsense and is your brain tricking you!

The best way to avoid falling into this nauseating, fantasy-driven loop of obsessing and fantasising and despairing is to understand the science behind this crazy human experience.

It is also incredibly comforting to know that unrequited infatuation very rarely lasts for more than 6-8 months, and often will fizzle out incredibly suddenly and much earlier than this. This is because infatuation is neither logical nor grounded at all. It is so, so ephemeral by nature; one day you will look back at this period of your life and it will seem like a wild but distant dream. Trust me on that one.

However, to break this person-addiction habit and ensure you never, ever cry over unrequited love again, you'll need to dig very deep and be committed to recovery. Your external world is a mere reflection of your beliefs and what you allow to imprint itself into your subconscious mind. By meeting your psychological needs healthily and treating unhealed wounds, you will become completely, 100% immune to infatuation/limerence. Potential partners will sparkle to you, make your heart sing and you'll be able to transition into real relationships with them instead of you manifesting unrequited love and crying spells. I promise you this.

infatuations

Feeling Something Intensely Doesn't Mean It's Permanent

Don't get confused and think that, just because you feel such strong passion for this person, your feelings will 'last forever' and you will 'never get over them'. For some reason, when us humans experience something intense or profound, we do what no other animals do and we introduce a poignant aspect of eternality to the situation. It's a huge logical fallacy to think 'I feel strongly about X, hence I will ALWAYS feel this way', yet we all do it. Our tragic flaw is, in many ways, that we are aware of time and the future and cannot simply live in the moment and deal with whatever strong feelings we are experiencing as they come and go.

If you think about, a large part of your pain is that you feel that you won't ever have a happy, fulfilled, exciting life without this individual. After all, they've inspired so much energy in you and you haven't felt this way with anyone else before. The truth is that, no, your infatuation will not last long and will certainly not be permanent.

Infatuation has a shelf-life because it is based in the fantasy and reality cannot maintain it. It is such idealisation and irrationality that, once the real world creeps in and you become aware that your feelings are unfounded and inappropriate, they will naturally dissipate. It is for this reason that couples who feel 'infatuated' often become bored after around 6 months. They aren't experiencing that surge of initial attraction or the wondrous mystery that their partner made them feel when they first met, because they were simply infatuated then and didn't really know their partner.

What Does It Mean If You're Prone To Infatuation?

Being a neuroscientist, my attention has been drawn to the fact that those of us who fall into infatuations are 1. prone to this state (experience it over and over again until they learn precisely how to treat the root cause, even if each "episode" feels novel and "different this time"), and 2. we are people who feel things very intensely.

Now, I am aware that virtually every single person on this planet feels certain things strongly and irrationally, but a limerence really is at the top of the scale in terms of intensity, especially since mental illness is usually thrown into the mix. Nearly every single person who I have seen who has fallen into a deep infatuation has been on the spectrum for severe depression, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder (BPD) or OCD (meaning, they could obtain a psychiatric diagnosis for one of these illnesses).

I don't want to scare you; I am a firm believer that we all sit on spectrums for most mental health conditions, and that there should be no fear or taboo enshrouding this type of information. Many of us could be diagnosed with different things and obtain certain psychiatric labels, but I don't think we should strive to do this unless our mental health is affecting our quality of life extremely negatively. However, I do have to tell you: infatuation at its worst is not neurotypical.

If you tend to live your life emptily, only motivated and made to feel emotion by unobtainable people who you think can make everything okay, then you are most probably mentally ill (by society's definition, at least). If your self-esteem was moderately high and you were mainly mentally healthy (no depressive episodes, no propensity to obsession, no episodes of mania) then it is highly unlikely that you would fall into an illusion so controlling as infatuation.

As I have mentioned and will continue mentioning in this article, infatuation is a deceitful trick. It's your brain's way of latching onto something that could, in theory, make you happy and take away all your troubles. For this reason, if you are infatuated with someone, you are not happy with your current life. You might want to tell me "I am happy and confident, this person is just so special/beautiful that I need them", but that statement would be yet another dopamine-driven delusion.

If you are prone to infatuation/limerence:

you have a lot of love to give to people, whether platonic or romantic (this is a blessing). I suggest that you utilise this in the healthiest possible way and focus on solidifying strong, platonic friendships. You won't feel the high of infatuation and attraction, but you won't experience the horrible lows either, and you will be immensely satisfied because you'll form close bonds and feel understood by people who want to be in your life for genuine reasons, other than desire.

as mentioned above, you are probably mentally ill in some way, and could most likely be diagnosed with OCD, depression, anxiety, BPD, or bipolar disorder. Don't let this scare you. A diagnosis would just be putting a label on what you've felt your entire life.

you will fall into more of these miserable infatuations if you do not treat the root-cause, which is unmet psychological needs and limiting beliefs regarding yourself and your worth. Don't let them shape your months and years, and don't let your life be a string of feelings for different people with you making no advancements in your own life. Even if you don't feel sound enough on a psychological level, force yourself to make friends, to exercise, to work and to read books. You'll be pleasantly surprised at how quickly you actually make new brain pathways and *escape* this hell.

you're very prone to fantasising about ideas, people and concepts that could, in theory, help you "escape" the current life or situation that you are in. Use this to your advantage - it just means that your brain is prone to creating dopaminergic pathways to motivate you. Currently, you're motivated to get this person into your life, but you can use this mental tactic to enjoy other things intensely, like academics, hobbies, pets etc. Become obsessed with another country, and make it your mission to learn the language fluently and move there within the next 8 years. Grab onto something other than a person that sparks your interest and get you thinking "my life would be amazing IF ...", whether it be the idea of gaining muscle at the gym, redecorating your house or writing a novel. Some would advise against this, but I have evidence to prove that it's a healthy way to cope with a propensity to idolising people. Hobbies/pets/languages/exercise won't turn you limerent, so obsess over them instead.

unless you work hard on yourself to recover from this susceptibility to falling hard and selflessly for people, your partners will never be on the same page as you. They will never love you as fiercely as you "love" them, because they will never be consumed by someone in the way that people consume and fill your existence. This may fill you with sadness but is reality; the fact that you have developed the behavioural pattern of limerence isn't their problem, nor is it something that many people will relate to. Wishing for someone to fall for you in this lovesick, bittersweet way is going to align you with reactive, toxic people who are generally unstable and enmesh with you too quickly.

the best comes last: you can become immune to infatuation/limerence! You'll need to do a lot of research on how to attack your subconscious mind and alter your brain's fundamental wirings, but it's surprisingly simpler than it sounds and the only path to complete emotional freedom.

infatuations

Rupi Kaur

Yes, This Is Just One of Your Many Phases!

Live in the moment and deal with any false, irrational thoughts like 'this will last forever'. Every time you think that, correct yourself and remember that you're feeling something very strong and unpleasant, but that's all it is and in no way does this equate to any form of permanence.

You can feel things strongly without them lasting forever! I don't know why we, as humans, struggle with this idea so much. There are so many sensory afflictions that come and go. For example, think of a terrible illness where you're vomiting constantly and can barely walk. You feel like you're never going to feel well again, but days later, you bounce back. The illness is just a faint memory that doesn't even inspire much emotion in you. Similarly, sometimes we come across music that we love and then can barely stand to hear it a month later.

We, as humans, go through many phases in our life. Phases are definitely valid life experiences, but find comfort in their ephemerality! This boy or girl is a phase in your life, albeit an intense one. One day, you will look back and associate them with whatever music you're currently listening to, the clothes you're currently wearing and the way that you feel. That is because those aspects of your life are also a phase. This person won't make your heart skip forever. If you take one thing from this article, let it be that. You won't believe me now, but there will come a time when you don't care who they date, and their name won't even stand out to you in a list. Human emotions are weird, huh?

Remember: You Love Your Brain's Chemicals, Not This Person

Unless you are experiencing a healthy crush within reality (just attraction and the feeling of connection), your infatuation is a result of an unhealthy dopamine reward circuit that your brain has essentially created as a survival mechanism. You are so depressed/unfulfilled/lonely that your brain knows that real life isn't offering much for you in terms of incentive to live, so it creates its own happiness in order to temporarily relieve you from unhappiness, nihilism and lack of focus.

Infatuation is the brain making its own fun through a 'fantasy bond'. Your brain provides you with a sugary high full of wonder and hope and promises for the future, and then when real life doesn't follow the illusion (e.g. when the person unsurprisingly doesn't devote their entire life to you because they have their own life/feelings), you will experience the consequent crash. There is a duality to every strong psychological experience, and what goes up always comes down.

Mocking yourself slightly and realising that your brain is 'glitching' in this way is imperative. Tell yourself, "I love dopamine, not him/her!". If the attraction wasn't there, and you knew their personality inside out, would you still 'need' them? It's almost impossible that you would. You might love them in a genuine, affectionate way, just like some elderly couples love each other after years of commitment, but it wouldn't be delightful and euphoric, nor would it be what you're craving now.

Find comfort in the above. If you find yourself thinking "I've met him at the wrong point in my life, we could have grown old together etc." remember that the romance wouldn't feel like this for more than a few months anyway. Yes, maybe if you had met this man in 5 years time you'd date and then marry him and be happy (in the stable sense of the word, with no thrill), but the truth is that that's not even what you want. You want to be able to act on the passionate feelings that you currently have, and for those to last forever, which is why the supposed "missed connection" is so tragic and hard for you to cope with. The thing is, as I've explained, the sheer concept of living with them forever and feeling this way with them forever is a fairytale that your brain has created.

In short: your brain has messed up here, and is misunderstanding the situation. We are animals at the end of the day, and our bodies function to promote survival, often not bothering about our feelings. If your life is lacking authenticity, excitement and motivation, your brain may work to ensure the survival of your genes by creating its own goals. Don't listen to everything that your mind is telling you and try not to crave the highs that it is offering you!

Neuroscience: What Causes Infatuation?

Understanding the science behind this turbulent experience is crucial, and is the only way to think practically without being nihilistic and numbing yourself to your feelings. This area of neuroscience is fascinating, as it deals with human experiences that seem so spiritual and magical that it's hard to believe that they are caused and controlled by relatively simple chemicals. However, a handful of neurotransmitters control all aspects of your mood and mental health, and therefore can explain every thought and motive that an infatuation will cause you to experience.

1. Dopamine is the 'pleasure chemical', and relates to euphoria, addiction and craving. It can also inspire goal-based behaviour, e.g. wanting to save money to plan an elaborate trip, or, more relevantly, wanting that "perfect life" with someone you have recently met where you two are alone and free, revelling in each other's happiness. When you first fall into infatuation and you cannot imagine happiness with anyone else but this individual, it is dopamine acting... and boy, is dopamine a powerful neurotransmitter! It gives us momentum in life and quite literally drives humanity, but in the case of infatuation, it is a delightful yet dangerous substance.

When noradrenaline is also released, the two neurotransmitters can undergo a reaction and produce not only an elated mood, but also focused attention, hyper-activity and loss of appetite. All of these changes can be witnessed in the "lovesick"; you develop tunnel vision during these biochemical changes. You are greatly inspired by anything to do with the other person, and bored at the rest of the world, for it all seems so dull compared to the object of your passion. While noradrenaline is a neurotransmitter and adrenaline a hormone, the two contribute synergistically to a racing heart and the novel excitement associated with love.

2. Serotonin is low when you are infatuated, which is counterintuitive, as high levels of serotonin are also commonly associated with "lovey-dovey" feelings. In fact, taking ecstasy causes a great release of this neurotransmitter, and depression is caused by low levels of it. However, the infatuated brain shows the same low serotonin levels as someone with OCD, which explains the obsessive nature of infatuation, and hence why you should avoid romanticizing your state and realize that you are essentially mentally ill while in the throes of this level of passion.

3. Adrenaline activates stress responses in the body, and is involved with the physiological signs of infatuation. It activates the levels of other hormones like cortisol, which all activate the sympathetic nervous system in a cascade-like manner, causing trembling, sweating and an increased heart rate.

4. Oxytocin is released during intimate acts, cuddling and other forms of close, trust-based contact. It is slightly different to the others, as it does not directly cause "infatuation". In other words, it does not contribute to the insanely powerful passion that one feels while infatuated. Rather, it adds to the experience by increasing the sweet feelings of trust and fondness. For this reason, it is also extremely important in relationships after the infatuation and hence the craving (caused by dopamine) wears off. If the people in the relationship do not possess adequate amounts of oxytocin (and vasopressin), it is unlikely that the relationship will last once they have passed through the drugged-up stage of infatuation and are suddenly aware of each other's flaws.

I urge you to think about the science behind your feelings, as it will help you rationalise what you feel. Allow yourself to cry but don't let yourself romanticise this 'missed connection', because it was never there in the first place. Your neurobiology has temporarily gone awry and taken control of your feelings, but this level of misery cannot and will not last.

#love #infatuation #limerence #depression #mental illness #mental health #anxiety #ocd #self hatred #self loathing #self love #dopamine #dopaminergic pathways #brain #deceit #illusion #obsessed #obsession #attachment

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thecrownrp · 3 years

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THE KINGDOM OF SPADES PRESENTS . . .

one of the PRIVATE KNIGHTS, KIM SEOKMIN: a 28 YEAR OLD born on FEBRUARY 15TH, 1992. some may know them already but with a face like that, it’s hard not to admit they look a little like WOO DOHWAN. curious to know more? apparently, these are words they live by: “you come any closer and i will beat you to a pulp.” intriguing, aren’t they? only time will tell if they’re suited for knighthood or not.

LOOK A LITTLE CLOSER . . .

tw: death

1. BIRTH IN THE KINGDOM - NOBLE FAMILY

born to two VERY notable and beloved families of knights. he wasn’t necessarily ‘loved’ or ‘spoiled’ but he was raised as a STEREOTYPICAL rich only son would, only this type was because of the knights power. other royals were scared of his family. his parents were hard on anyone who dared to go against their son, even if he was in the wrong. growing up seokmin wasn’t a bully, but people knew not to mess with him. he was always on his best behavior, and had a handful of friends. he kept his studies up, but he did allow himself happy memories.

2. MET YURYE ( 1999 )

when yurye and his mother joined the kingdom ( 1999 ), his father was tasked to being the personal guard of the king’s mistress. this was an important job for his father and he took it very seriously. because they weren’t far in age, seokmin’s father and the king thought it would be best if the two bonded. this would make the oath even stronger when the time came for seokmin to become yurye’s personal guard. a year later yurye’s mother was killed on orders of the queen, ( chul poisoned her, to save himself and his sister. ). her death became a large weight on his father’s shoulders and he quickly went to try and find the person responsible. the queen pinned the death on sungchul’s sister and quickly put her to death.

seokmin’s father jinseok didn’t believe the ruling. it not only was too easy for them to find, and it didn’t feel completely right. so quietly behind the scenes jinseok began looking for clues, and finding holes in the story. ( to be continued… )

3. ENTER INTO KNIGHTHOOD AT 13 ( 2005 )

seokmin always knew that he would follow in his family’s legacy and become a knight. throughout his life, even before him volunteering had always been focused on training and learning different types of martial arts. he always trained on different tactics to keep the prince or princess that he was in charge of safe from any harm that would come to them. during his training he continuously made perfect marks in taekwondo, disarming, and his shooting. seokmin’s fighting style is a combination of TAEKWONDO and JUJITSU. he’s not afraid of harming another person if it means keeping yurye safe. he is able to quickly disarm an attacker and have them on the ground before they know what has happened. but he is also not afraid to take a bullet if he has to.

4. RISING IN THE RANKS ( 2007-2009 )

from the start to the finish of his training, the instructors only expected the best from him. being in a family with generations of knights, you’re expected to know all the rules and exactly how to behave. which he did, and he never disappointed them. his first two years of training went by like a breeze. it wasn’t any different then his home life was, other than his parents being the ones who were training him to become stronger, it was the training officers.

when he turned sixteen he shadowed countless knights to learn tips from as many knights as he could, when he wasn’t learning the kingdom’s map. during his training days he learned how to detect falsehoods (lying, disorder, and schemes) as well as focusing on even the smallest details. seokmin did so well during training he was immediately requested to begin his role of private knight once he turned eighteen for yurye.

5. MARRIED SOMIN [ NPC ] - KNIGHT ALLEGANCE/LOVE ( 2017 )

same scene repeats, my thoughts tangled underneath these sheets. turn out the lights and i won’t lie, i’ve got sinning on my mind.

from as long as he could remember he had always been promised to somin and her family. it was something that was expected to keep their bloodline strong. to always have knights carry on the line. so when the two families knew they were having children of opposite gender they promised each other that their families would unite. which they did. from a young age they knew they were promised to each other, so they always tried and get along. they fought like any child/teen would but they always stood by each other. through the years they grew a bond much greater than a bond a relationship would bring someone. they were like two halves of the same whole, and complimented each other well. when both seokmin and somin turned 25 ( 2017 ) they married. their marriage was just like their life before marriage, just now they had a title and shared a bed. this time was the happiest for seokmin. he had the love of his life, the job that he had dreamed of growing up. everything was almost falling into place too well.

6. DISAPPEARANCE OF HIS FAMILY ( 2019 )

you let your feet run wild, time has come as we all, oh, go down. yeah but for the fall, oh cause they will run you down, down till the dark….and way down we go.

in December of 2019 seokmin’s father gathered several of his friends and began planning a coup against the queen. when everything went down jinseok was very smart about every decision he made. when the coup obviously failed everyone went into hiding and burned every trace of their plans. but one member of this group didn’t follow through with the promise and plans. he took his plans and planted them to be found with someone else before fleeing the country. chef chen was the unfortunately the person that the person had chosen.

jinseok’s actions weren’t a surprised for his wife. it was revenge that he was seeking. it was the knight’s code. he had to make things right for the woman that he failed to protect. the first time he didn’t taste the food before she ate or drank something she died. now he was responsible for finding the truth. but he knew if he didn’t run, he would be jailed or worse. and very soon it would be proven correctly in their family’s eyes.

7. DEATH OF SOMIN [ OPEN PLOT ] ( 2020 )

if you must die, sweetheart die knowing your life was my life’s best part if you must die remember your life

somin was the only person besides yurye he had left in his life. every member of his family had gone into hiding, and to keep seokmin safe they cut off all communication with him. even though no-one knew the truth seokmin couldn’t help but feel a weight on his heart. but he still had somin, or at least he believed that he did. somin more times than not accompanied yanyu whenever she wanted to go out. right before valentines day somin needed to get some things for her valentine’s date with seokmin, she invited yanyu out with her to try and make her feel better after her father was sent to jail for the “coup”.

while out and about together somin was attacked and was killed. yanyu was distraught and was escorted back by a few knights. seokmin was told immediately. yurye even helped with not going out for a little while so seokmin could plan the funeral and somewhat try and mourn. but he really couldn’t. he felt the need to find who exactly took his love from him. but till this day he has no idea who killed her. but there is one thing that he suspects. he suspects the queen had some king of involvement.

8. SEOKMIN’S RAGE ( 2020-PRESENT )

seokmin knows that in life there is no such thing as coincidence. he knows that the queen is behind his wife’s murder. with her murder still unsolved seokmin’s rage only grows. with each passing day he mentally plots different ways he could get his revenge. but he knows that he can not allow his vision to get too clouded. he still has to protect yurye. yurye is the only thing in the world he has left. sadly, if he had to choose between keeping yurye safe, or finding the truth about his wife’s murder he would always choose keeping yurye safe.

#cwnfollow #cwn kingdom: spades #cwn rank: knight

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somegirlsnerdywords2 · 4 years

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Anime i’ve Watched

That begin with a F (Part 1)!

Yep this is how i’m going to bring over all the anime and manga i’ve watched and posted about on the old blog. It’s not so detailed but it will have to do. Anything new I watch or read from this point on will have their own posts.

Fire Force (Enen no Shouboutai):

Genres: action, supernatural, shounen

Synopsis: Spontaneous Human Combustion: a chaotic phenomenon that has plagued humanity for years, randomly transforming ordinary people into flaming, violent creatures known as Infernals. While Infernals make up the first-generation accounts of Human Combustion, the second and third generations became known as pyrokinetics—people gifted with the ability to manipulate and control their flames while remaining human. To combat the Infernal threat and discover the cause, the Tokyo Armed Forces, Fire Defense Agency, and Holy Church of Sol produced their answer: the Special Fire Force. Young and eager third-generation pyrokinetic Shinra Kusakabe, nicknamed Devil's Footprints for his explosive ability to ignite his feet at will, becomes a member of the lively Special Fire Force Company 8. Upholding the brigade's duty to extinguish the blazing Infernals and lay their souls to rest, Shinra is determined to become a hero who will save the lives of those threatened by the flame terror. However, this is not the hero's game Shinra imagined. The Fire Force is a fractured mess of feuding brigades, abnormal Infernal sightings are increasing all over Tokyo, and a shadowy group is claiming to have answers to the strange fire that caused the death of Shinra's family 12 years ago. Faced with many obstacles within and outside the Fire Force, Shinra fights to uncover the truth behind the burning mysteries that have kept him in the dark. [Written by MAL Rewrite]

My Rating: 7/10

Finished airing in 2019 with 24 episodes.

My Thoughts: Awesome art and animation with some killer themes but ultimatly dissapointing. Had a few moments of deep feeling but mostly fell flat. To be fair I will probably still watch the second season though so really it wasn’t all that bad! It was fun... so there’s that!

Free!:

Genres: slice of life, comedy, sports, drama, school

Synopsis: Haruka Nanase has a love for water and a passion for swimming. In elementary school, he competed in and won a relay race with his three friends Rin Matsuoka, Nagisa Hazuki, and Makoto Tachibana. After claiming victory at the tournament, the four friends went their separate ways. Years later, they reunite as high school students; however, Rin couldn't care less about returning to the way things used to be. Not only does he attend a different school, but the sole thing important to him is proving that he is a better swimmer than Haruka. After the bitter reunion, Haruka, Nagisa, and Makoto decide to form the Iwatobi High School Swim Club, but they will need a fourth member if they hope to take part in the upcoming tournament. Enter Rei Ryuugazaki, a former member of the track team whom Nagisa recruits. As the time to compete draws near, the four develop a close bond while training intensely to come out on top and settle things between Haruka and Rin once and for all. [Written by MAL Rewrite]

My Rating: 6/10

Finished airing in 2013 with 12 episodes.

My Thoughts: THE swimming anime featuring pretty boys that swim.... That’s it, that’s all I can remember about this anime. Not a glowing review to be sure and the rating isn’t promising either. Take this all as you will.

Free!: Eternal Summer:

Genres: slice of life, comedy, sports, drama, school

Synopsis: Even though it has been a year since the Iwatobi High School Swim Club has been created, new members have yet to join the club. Now that Haruka Nanase and Makoto Tachibana are senior students, along with their younger friends Nagisa Hazuki and Rei Ryuugazaki, they have to find a way to attract new members. If not, the club will be forced to close the following year due to a lack of membership. Meanwhile, with impending graduation, it is also time for the seniors to decide their plans for the future. Unlike their friend Rin Matsuoka, the new captain of Samezuka Academy Swim Club who is determined to fulfill his dream of being a professional swimmer, Haruka and Makoto are unsure about what career path they want to take. Further problems arise when an old friend of Rin's, Sousuke Yamazaki, comes to the city to study at Samezuka Academy; the recently scouted swimmer's arrival causes tension in the relationship among him, Rin, and Haruka. [Written by MAL Rewrite]

My Rating: 7/10

Finished airing in 2014 with a total of 13 episodes.

My Thoughts: Despite the rather pitiful rating of the previous season they managed to pull me in for the second. How you ask.... well really your guess is as good as mine at this point. Apparently I liked it slightly more than the first season so I mean that’s great!

Fruits Basket:

Genres: slice of life, comedy, supernatural, drama, romance, shoujo

Synopsis: After the accident in which she lost her mother, 16-year-old Tooru moves in with her grandfather, but due to his home being renovated, is unable to continue living with him. Claiming she will find someone to stay with but also fearing the criticism of her family and not wanting to burden any of her friends, Tooru resorts to secretly living on her own in a tent in the woods. One night on her way back from work, she finds her tent buried underneath a landslide. Yuki Souma, the "prince" of her school, and his cousin Shigure Souma, a famous author, stumble across Tooru's situation and invite her to stay with them until her grandfather’s home renovations are complete. Upon arriving at the Souma house, Tooru discovers their secret: if a Souma is hugged by someone of the opposite gender, they temporarily transform into one of the animals of the zodiac! However, this strange phenomenon is no laughing matter; rather, it is a terrible curse that holds a dark history. As she continues her journey, meeting more members of the zodiac family, will Tooru's kindhearted yet resilient nature be enough to prepare her for what lies behind the Souma household's doors? [Written by MAL Rewrite]

My Rating: 9/10

Finished airing in 2001 with a total of 26 episodes.

My Thoughts: The art style makes me want to cry just looking at the cover. Great series though with amazing characters and a great story.

Fruits Basket 1st Season:

Genres: comedy, drama, romance, shoujo, slice of life, supernatural

Synopsis: Tooru Honda has always been fascinated by the story of the Chinese Zodiac that her beloved mother told her as a child. However, a sudden family tragedy changes her life, and subsequent circumstances leave her all alone. Tooru is now forced to live in a tent, but little does she know that her temporary home resides on the private property of the esteemed Souma family. Stumbling upon their home one day, she encounters Shigure, an older Souma cousin, and Yuki, the "prince" of her school. Tooru explains that she lives nearby, but the Soumas eventually discover her well-kept secret of being homeless when they see her walking back to her tent one night. Things start to look up for Tooru as they kindly offer to take her in after hearing about her situation. But soon after, she is caught up in a fight between Yuki and his hot-tempered cousin, Kyou. While trying to stop them, she learns that the Souma family has a well-kept secret of their own: whenever they are hugged by a member of the opposite sex, they transform into the animals of the Chinese Zodiac. With this new revelation, Tooru will find that living with the Soumas is an unexpected adventure filled with laughter and romance. [Written by MAL Rewrite]

My Rating: 10/10

Finished airing in 2019 with a total of 25 episodes.

My Thoughts: My eyes have been cleansed. The artwork is quite clearly a step up from the original... the entire series is actually. The character and story are just as amazing but this time wrapped in a more lovely picture. Tons of feeling and life lessons to be learned. An instant classic and a must watch in my opinion!

#fire force #enen no shouboutai #anime #free!#free! eternal summer #fruits basket #fruits basket 1st season

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willkillforgoodmemories · 4 years

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Schools Re-imagined

Okay fellow guys, gays and ladies (all beings are invited), TODAY on quaran-talks (get it, quarantine but replace the tine with talks, never mind), we will be

“RE-IMAGINING SCHOOLS” (Mostly High school and it’s equivalents around the world)

so that they actually do their job and prepare us for the real world, which they haven’t. They have, however given me sleep-deprived days, traumatic memories and snakes for friends.

ASPECT NUMBER ONE

Changing when school starts. I mean, whose lovely idea was to start school at 8.00. Many schools also start schools at 8.30 but lord, imagine how happy we all will be if schools opened a little later.

According to the National Sleep Foundation, the sleep requirement for teenagers is between 8-10 hours per night. That indicates that the earliest healthy wake-up time for teens should not be before 7 a.m.

I propose that schools start not earlier than 9.00 am. That way one does not have to bear with the absolute feeling of grogginess of completing tasks on auto-pilot (when you complete tasks by doing the bare minimum because your brain is not awake), not rushing through morning routines (rushing can cause stress and anxiety) and can start the day on a good note. All those you thrive on 3-4 hour naps, it is in no way healthy and in some ways, not even your mistake. Moving on,

ASPECT NUMBER TWO

The marvellous blame-game. The student is usually the pawn. Don’t get the concept while in class, the teacher will probably say that you weren’t listening.

Ma’am or Sir, it’s your job to make sure the students understand what you teach. Be patient and stop telling them it’s wrong if they don’t understand the concept.It won’t hurt if you take out some time and teach them the concept again.

If you don’t get the concept during homework and use the reference guide, the parents will usually say that they weren’t paying attention in class and should know it. The reference material was made for a reason, and that was so that the student could use it. If the student wasn’t able to understand in class, there is a high chance they would be able to understand it on their own with their own research. Don’t doubt a student’s ability, even a little pat on the back can go a long way. More on this later.

ASPECT NUMBER THREE

A very popular opinion is that schools kill creativity. They don’t out right kill it, they just suppress it until it never come backs. In other words, it’s there but not quite. (confusing, just like the world’s education system). If the student says a wrong answer, don’t outright say no or prompt the class to laugh at them. Question their understanding in a polite way. Promote creative thinking and finding different ways of solving problems. Creativity can be found in all subjects, you just need to find a will. Don’t suppress interests such as liking of a particular aesthetic, genre of music or style.

ASPECT NUMBER FOUR

There is no space for individuality. Uniforms are okay because you don’t have to go through the hassle of picking out clothes but limiting other choices such as style of hair, use of accessories and nail polish and colour of hair should not dictate what kind of a student they are. Teachers and Administration should not care about these things because every student needs their own way of showing creativity. These things do not dictate what kind of student they are. There is a common misconception that students who do the above mentioned things will distract students and disrupt the class. The students usually compliment or comment on it and move on with their day. The teachers, however will call them out, fine them, give them detention or some other kind of punishment. The only people that are getting distracted here is the staff who takes the time out of their day to call a student out on their mode of expression. All those teachers who support their students’ choices are pure gems and deserve all the love in the world.

ASPECT NUMBER FIVE

The ungodly amount of homework. This is an extension of ‘aspect number two.’ I along with many other teenagers believe that the homework should be limited to two hours a day. No, I don’t mean two hours per subject. I mean two hours total. It can be extended to 3.5 hours but not more than that. Take the example of a GCSE student. A normal student takes about 9-12 subjects. Depending on the intensity of the subjects,the student should spend about 15-20 minutes per subject. During tests and exam weeks, this can be bumped up to 5 hours but still, testing a student’s skills of memorization does not prepare them for the real world. After spending six hours in school, this time should be taken to go over material and identify weak points in their understanding, not increasing stress.

ASPECT NUMBER SIX

The unhealthy expectations which really effect a teenager’s mind, and not in a good way. Many people are out here judging a student who excels in art on it’s ability to do STEM subjects, and vice versa. That’s like judging a fish's ability to climb a tree. Let the student pursue what they like without a thought in their head, “what will everyone think of me.” As a human being, they’d support and not belittle your choices. Let them pursue what they like. If they get bad grades, ask them about it. Don’t start shouting. Teachers, do not announce grades in class, you are literally creating students who build up low self-esteem. How hard is it to understand that teenagers are human beings. They’ll learn. If a previously-gifted student gets a bad grade, don’t make them feel bad about it.

ASPECT NUMBER SEVEN

Actually take a stand on matters that make sense. Stop bullies, racists, homophobes and sexists. Don’t go around nit-picking students who have long nails and unkempt hair or uniform if you have these problems roaming around. That just says that you are only caring about your outer appearance at the expense that most of your students will grow up to be ignorant citizens. A teenager mirrors their surroundings and if you can create a positive surrounding, it’s your part towards a more understanding society.

ASPECT NUMBER EIGHT

WHO thought that giving extra homework on weekends would be a good idea. Like, WHY? Weekends should be for relaxation and for revising topics. Wouldn’t it make sense if students took time to, I don’t know, go over the work from the week. That way, the information can be retained for a longer time. I also present to you the idea of making open book tests the norm. What many schools don’t understand that not everyone can memorize entire books. A student who does well on assignments but not on exams clearly shows that they understand but can’t remember it. The real world clearly shows that you don’t need to remember things because resources will always be at your disposal. A student should know how to apply concepts because 85% of the stuff they learn in school is utterly useless in real life. The remaining 15% are basics of subjects which should be learned.

ASPECT NUMBER NINE

The schools either need counselors that actually do their job or teachers that are willing to go the extra mile. Counselors need to understand the students’ situation and help them. Don’t blame everything on the phone. (Phones are least of our problems). Normalize opposite-gender friendships. Lastly, with classes algebra and all that, wouldn’t also having classes like etiquette's, how to file taxes and other worldly classes actually help.

REVISED TIMETABLE

As per the guidelines above.

Biological sleep patterns shift toward later times for both sleeping and waking during adolescence -- meaning it is natural to not be able to fall asleep before 11:00 pm.

Sleep between 11:00-11.30 pm. Wake up at 7:45 am (Assuming you slept at 23.15 which is the halfway point, you got a sleep of 8.5 hours, which is healthy)Getting ready and having breakfast at a peaceful pace takes an average of 15 minutes. You will be done by 8:15 am. An average school commute takes about 30 minutes so you should have 15 minutes to spare before 8:30 am strikes and you leave for school.School starts at 9.00 am and ends at 3.00 pm. (Schools here last for 6 hours).Go for extra-curricular activities. On average, extra-curricular activities last for 1.5 hours so you should be free by 4.30-5.00 pm. That leaves you with 6 hours. Even if you take an hour long nap and take exactly 2 hours,no more or less for your homework, you will still be left with 3 hours of leisure. These 6 hours can be scheduled how ever you like.

Now compare it to my timetable that was in place before the lock down. I woke up 6.00 am (Usually woke up early to complete homework which was impossible to complete yesterday) Left home for school at 7.15 am, usually made up for sleep in the car.

Reached school by 7.45. School started at 7.50 am and went on till 2.00 pm. All extra curricular activities were suspended due to tests and exam prep. Reached home at 2.40 pm. (Was picked up from school at 2.10 pm because group assignments roles cannot be assigned in class for some stupid reason so a lot of work has to be done outside class).

Refresh and have lunch, start homework at 3.00 pm. Went on till 5.00 pm, took a 15-minute break and again continued till 9.00 pm (This is just homework). Picked up the assigned reading and assignments, that went on till 10.00 pm. Time with family till 10.45 pm.

These were the good days. The days I was assigned art homework were torture. I have gone to school with only 3 hours of sleep many weeks.

For a system that is suppose to help the students, the education system sure does hate students.

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shannygoatgruff · 4 years

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Stay Safe, Stay Home Writing Challenge - (Call me if you need anything) @waiting4inspiration

Genre: Romance

Pairing: Modern Ivar x OC

Warning: Language, sexual innuendo, insecurity

Rating: M

Chapter 3 || Chapter 5

Chapter 4

The table at Clementin im Glashaus was amazing. The greenhouse windows of the restaurant overlooked the beautiful Palais Coburg Hotel, which used to be a palace belonging to the House of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha. Not to mention, Cash and Ivar had a completely unobstructed view of the sun setting over the city, from the domed glass ceiling of the restaurant. She felt like a princess. Had she known they were coming here, she would have worn something a bit more elegant than the Fashionova dress she was currently wearing.

“Stilles Wasser, mit Eis, bitte?” Mineral water with ice, please. She asked the waiter just before he left the table. She was trying her best to let him be chivalric and order their meals after they had discussed the menu. But he had forgotten about the water. She didn’t like sparking water, let alone it at room temperature. She had to say something. She couldn’t tell if she was being an obnoxious American, or not. Especially since men from Europe were so different from American men. They were slinky and sensitive. They wore skinny pants that showed off their ankles and shorts that came above their knee and kissed each other on the cheek. It was a different dynamic with them. She wasn’t trying to cross any cultural or gender roles by ordering ice water.

Shit, ice. He’d forgotten. That was so important…how could he let that slip? She was American - of course she liked ice. That should have been a given. He had just assumed that she didn’t even drink water. Americans just filled their cups to the brim with ice cubes and poured soda over it. Ivar mentally kicked himself for the oversight. “I have never met an American that spoke German with an Austrian accent.” He remembered that she had minored in German in college and Graduate school, but to hear her speak it, with an Austrian accent was rather impressive. Too bad she hadn’t decided to study Norweigan. “I have also never tried ice in my water," he said trying to make small talk.

“Really?” Cash blushed and tugged on the loose thread at hem of her dress, “It’s good. Cold.”

Why were they having such a hard time talking? They normally would talk for hours on the phone and their text and DM threads went on for days. The two of them never ran out of things to say to one another. She could think of a hundred things she wanted to say to him right now, but he seemed so much quieter in person. She kept waiting for one of his snappy comebacks, or for him to flirt with her like he always did, but he was giving her nothing. Maybe he didn’t like her after all.

“So, have you been here before?” She asked looking around the restaurant. It was easier to look anywhere than at him because all she wanted to do was stare at him. She had never been a fan of the man bun before, but it worked for him. Everything looked good on him. If she didn’t keep diverting her eyes, she would look like a total stalker. “This place is nice.”

Ivar put his napkin in his lap and hoped that the wine wouldn’t take much longer to get to the table. If he didn’t get a drink soon, he was going to clam up completely. He wanted to talk to her. He loved talking to her. He was just so nervous now that she was in front of him and she was so vibrant, pretty…real. “To Vienna or this restaurant?”

“Either,” Cash answered with a shrug.

“I have only been to Austria a few times. Mostly with my brothers.” Brothers. Right. He was going to have to explain Hvitserk… “I have never been here before. My brother, Ubbe, told me this is a good place to take a date.”

Was he blushing? God, he was cute. “Oh, this is our first date?” She licked her lips and smiled.

“Am I not doing something you want?” Fuck. Had been out of the dating game that long? Why didn’t she know this was their first date?

“No. Everything’s perfect. I just didn’t know if we were hanging out as friends, or on a date.” She took a big sip of her water. “We said we wouldn’t talk about our pictures, so there was no pressure, either way.”

“I already told you, I thought you were beautiful before I saw your picture.” Ivar had never been so happy to see a waiter in his life. He graciously accepted the glass of wine and motioned for the waiter to leave the bottle. He waited until Cash had her mixed drink placed before her and when they both had drinks they toasted. “Skol,” he said quickly before looking into the bottom of his glass, as he gulped nervously.

“So…” Her phone rang, causing her to jump. She quickly hit the video button and rolled her eyes. “Hey, Ma.” She smiled when Ivar smiled at her.

“Shay, are you okay? I been waiting for you to call me.” Barbara pursed her lips at her daughter to indicate she was upset. “You tell me you’re going to meet this Ivar-boy and then I don’t hear from you. I don’t know if he chopped you up, or sold you on the black market…”

Cash shook her head and threw her napkin ring at him when he chuckled at the comment. “I’m fine, Ma. In fact, Ivar and I are at dinner, right now.” She panned over for her mother to see Ivar.

She felt all warm inside when Ivar waved at her mother and politely said, “Hello, momma.”

“Well, hey there baby. It's good to finally see you. Were you excited to meet see Shay? She's so pretty, isn't she?" Cash rested her head on hand as she watched Ivar's face light up, as her mother refused to let him get a word in edgewise. As usual, Ivar and her mother sat there talking like two old friends. "And look at you...you're so handsome. I bet you just have all the girls all after you. You better not break my baby's heart. You take care of my girl while she's over there, okay?"

Ivar thought Cash's mom was a hoot. He had always enjoyed hearing about her and talking to her when Cash was in the States. Looking at her face, it was easy to see where Cash got her looks. "Cash is as beautiful as her momma. When I saw her, I just want to keep smiling." He glanced over at Cash and noticed the coy way she looked at him causing him to divert his eyes back to the phone's screen. "I promise, I will take care of her." He handed the phone back to Cash and poured more wine in his glass.

"Make sure to call me later.” Barbara Heath said to her daughter when her face reappeared on the screen. She held the phone close to her mouth and dramatically mouthed the words, He’s cute. “Love you, Shay.”

“Love you, too.” She disconnected the call and looked at Ivar. “Sorry about that. My mom’s a little over-protective.”

“Your momma is sweet. My brothers? They are a pain." He rolled his eyes, "My older brother, Ubbe, sent my brother, Hvitserk, here to be my chaperone.” He shook his head in disbelief. “I have almost 26 years, I do not need a babysitter.”

“Why did he do that?”

The second glass of wine he had just started on was finished in about two gulps. Ivar knew he was drinking too fast, but it made him feel better about talking, but it did nothing to stop his hands from sweating. All he needed to do was deflect the conversation away from his legs, Hvitserk and everything else wrong in the world for tonight. He could worry about the truth tomorrow. “I always wanted to ask. Why does your momma call you Shay?”

“Oh, that. My first name is Cachet.” She made a disgusted face at the sound of her government name. “Most people call me Cash. My parents still call me Shay.”

“Which do you prefer?” Cash shrugged, giving no real thought to question. “What would you like me to call you?”

She lifted her eyes to him with a heavy-lidded stare. “What do you want to call me?” She was hoping it was be something freaky, like Chocolatate, or Sexual Chocolate…what exactly was in this drink, anyway?

“Nydelig.”

"And what does that mean?”

Ivar’s lips turned up into a boyish grin, “Look it up,” he said as the waiter sat their dinner plates in front of them.

It was a beautiful night and the city lights were magical. After dinner, Cash and Ivar stopped for torte at a local bakery and to pick up spirits before Cash decided that she was ready to head back to her hotel. She would see Vienna tomorrow; it was almost 8 pm and she was exhausted. A day of nerves, traveling, and now jetlag meant she was going to sleep good tonight.

Ivar had insisted that he see her back to her hotel safely and who was she to refuse? The walk from the restaurant to her hotel had been a short one and she had invited him in because though she was tired, she wasn't quite ready for their first date to end.

Sitting on the patio of her ground-floor hotel room, she folded her legs on her chair and sipped on a glass of Moscato d’Asti they picked up along their walk. “So, we’ve been talking for months and in all this time, you never said anything.” She twirled the liquid around in her glass. “Why didn’t you ever tell me?” She wanted to bring it up earlier, but before didn't seem like the right time. But now they both seemed a bit more relaxed and the conversation felt more organic. It felt like one of their normal conversations, not like two strangers meeting each other for the first time.

Ivar’s heart stopped in his throat. Did he really think he could avoid the pink elephant in the room? Did he honestly believe he was going to get through tonight without addressing why he lied to her about his legs? Of course, she had noticed his limp and those damn crutches. She knew he had a physical impairment; he wasn't that skilled at deflecting the conversation, she had just been too polite say anything all night.

He took a deep drag of his cigarette and blew the smoke out in the opposite direction. “I was going to tell you, but I did not know what to say. I hate these things.” He took his crutches and roughly pushed them into the corner. “Since I was small, all the surgeries and bone lengthening and leg braces…canes. I did not want you to pity me.” He picked at a rough cuticle on his thumb before putting his cigarette back to his lips.

Cash laughed, “I was talking about the fact that you smoke.”

“Oh, shit.” Ivar laughed in return. He took a sip from his glass of whiskey before sitting it back on the table. “I am Scandinavian. We all smoke.”

Cash nodded, still trying to digest what he said before about his impairment. “Are you in pain?” She asked, hoping she wasn't prying.

Shrugging, Ivar sat back in his seat and looked out at the lanterns that illuminated the small garden. “I hurt, but not really pain.” He licked his lips as he tried to think of how he could make it make sense to her. “When I was born my legs were deformed…one shorter than the other and both twisted. They were fucked. I had surgeries with metal rods to make them straight, and longer, and all that. But, they never really got strong and the pain never really went away. I grew up with it. I live with it.

Sometimes, when the weather is bad – snow, or rain for many days, or when it starts to get cold and wet, I have pain. When I walk too much or go a whole day without taking these damn braces off, I get pain. But the normal hum that always is there? That’s just Elias.”

“I'm sorry, who?”

“The name of the pain. My old friend, Elias.” Ivar chuckled at the memory. It was a code-word he and his mother made up when he was little. It was his way of letting her know that he was in pain, without alerting the rest of the family. He never wanted his brothers to treat him differently because of his impairment, so they came up with a code. If he would tell his mother that Elias visited him at school, she knew that he needed medicine, warm compresses and rest.

“The people in my head have names,” Cash said absently.

“Excuse me?”

She wiggled herself forward in her chair and leaned to rest her elbows on the table. If they were dishing about their crazy, he was in for a treat. “You know on in the movies people have an angel and a devil that sit on their shoulder to tell them what to do?” She waited until he nodded. “I don’t think I have that. I just have these people in my head and they are always having conversations. Jasmine and Jessica. These bitches don’t agree on anything. They’re supposed to be here to help me, you know like my conscious. But I’m usually playing referee between them…like everybody calm the fuck down. They get on my nerves.”

Ivar laughed at her animation. He couldn’t believe that he just told her about his legs and she countered with the fact that she was probably schizophrenic.

Taking another sip of her drink, she studied his face. “Can you walk without that stuff?” She pointed to the crutches.

He shook his head. “I can stand, but not walk. My legs do not hold my full weight. My right leg does not bend. My left does but, I still need to hold onto objects to balance, otherwise, I would fall. The legs do not move together, so I bind them. .” He closed his eyes, “When I do not have the braces – I crawl.”

“We talk about everything, Ivar…”

“I could not just tell you.” He looked her in the eye, holding her gaze for the first time that night. “I could not stand it if you stopped talking to me.”

“Did you think I talked to you all this time because I thought you were going to win a Walk-A-Thon? You didn’t even give me a chance.” She watched as he played with the wrapper on the whiskey bottle.

“I did not want to disappoint you.”

She licked her lips, “I’m not disappointed.” Her words came out in almost a whisper.

Did she move toward him, or did he come toward her? Just like knowing which truly happened between the Big Bang Theory and Evolution - it's all a matter of opinion. Perhaps there was a seismic shift in the tectonic plates that moved their bodies toward each other at the exact moment in time. Whatever happened, the space between them closed and their lips touched.

It was so soft at first, that the feeling of their warm breath on each other’s lips left more of an ache than the flesh that preceded it. But after that brief contact, came a hand. A soft, small hand, with delicate fingers, gently holding the side of his neck and her thumb tracing invisible patterns along his jawline. When her hand made contact with his face, his lips reclaimed hers with just the slightest bit of trepidation, but much more curiosity.

He pulled back for a moment just to look at her face before she gently nipped at his full bottom lip and the next thing he knew she was swallowing his moan. Her mouth was still sweet from the Moscato as Ivar opened his more and allowed his tongue to gently lick her lips. He wasn’t sure when he seized the back of her neck and pulled her toward him. Maybe it was when she looked at him that way, the way he had always wanted a woman to look at him. The way Freydis used to look at him all those years ago. Cash looked at him like she wanted him. No one had looked at him like that in a very long time.

Oh, he was good – how had she ended up on his lap? His lips felt like velvet and his tongue was as smooth as silk. His breath had a pleasant smoked whiskey flavor that reminded her of a bar she went to in college. That’s where she had met Big Dick Darryl. What a fun night that had been.

Ivar had this gentle way of pulling back, like he was about to break contact, only to come at her mouth at a different angle. He wasn’t a sloppy kisser by any means, every placement of his lips was deliberate, tactical, well thought out….sensual. Even the people in her head were in awe of his lip skills.

It took every ounce of restraint he had when Ivar felt Cash’s fingertips touch the base of his throat and gently slide down his chest. More than anything he wanted to be able to pick her up and carry her back into her room, throw her down on the bed and do whatever they do in movies before the camera pans to the vase on the dresser. But, he knew he would never be able to do that. He wasn’t sure what exactly caused it – be it finally meeting her in person, the feeling of her lips on his, a woman touching and wanting him, or knowing that he’d never be able to share in the same stories of freaky sexual exploits like his brothers…but suddenly he had the urge to cry.

Pulling back slowly, Ivar kept his eyes on Cash’s lips noticing how they still glistened from his kiss. He had been so cool, so smooth all this time, with her, from their first online conversation, and now, all he wanted was to be held. “I’m sorry.”

“What’s wrong?” Why were they stopping? This was going extremely well. Were her kissing skills not up to par? No one had ever told her she was a bad kisser before. She’d made it a point not to get anything filled with garlic or onions with dinner so she wouldn’t have stinky breath, just in case he tried to get a good night kiss. Hell, she even had on a really cute matching ‘just in case’ underwear. So far, things were going extremely well, she thought.

Running his thumb across her jawline he tried to restrain himself from kissing her again. “I think I should go back to my hotel. You had a long day and are probably tired.”

“You don’t have to go, yet.” Did she sound too eager? She didn’t want to seem slutty, but they had been talking for six months and it had been a hot minute since she got laid.

Ivar exhaled slowly through his nose, trying his best to calm himself. “I don’t want to spoil our first date.” He kissed her lovingly on the forehead “I think it is best if I go now.” He let her follow him to the door before stopping and turning around to kiss her softly on the lips. “I can see you tomorrow?”

Cash got on her tiptoes to kiss him again, “Yes.”

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alien-rainbow · 3 years

Text

By Your Side Until My Death(9/?)

Chapter 9: The World We Made

Available on AO3

Princess Artemis, the eldest daughter of the kingdom of Olympus is to be married to her childhood nightmare. In a land where anything remotely magical is banned, Zoë fears for her and Ladon's life but knows that she could never leave the princess's side if she tried. Magical beings, a forbidden romance, family secrets, and safety for magic all wait beyond the kingdom's borders.

- 3rd person, will be completed eventually, teen, not completed, Zartemis

READ PLEASE. Okay, so there was a lot of background going on in this chapter.

Cohorts: These are like the cabins, there are 20 of them for the 20 cabins in the PJO series, I decided to use greek names and move some people around if they are Romans. The only time I used Roman names is if the greek counterpart was part of the royal family.

Praetors: Two people who are elected from any of the twenty cabins and are (presidential system) like the president.

Centurions: These are like the vice presidents, but there are a lot of them. They can make decisions but need the approval of both of the Praetors but if 75% of the Centurions want an action to be taken, they can go forward without Praetor's approval. But Chiron can put a stop to anything he believes is really bad but for the most part, he just guides and observes.

Normal People are just called campers and each Cohort has a cabin that corresponds with gods and their skills. If you want the full list of Cohorts/Cabins and their god/skills, look at the endnotes (There is more explanation in the chapter too)

--------------------------------

Annabeth with the help of Will and commentary from Nico gave the girls a quick tour of the camp. The first stop was the big house where the leaders met to talk. The leaders consisted of one immortal, a centaur named Chiron, and a group of twenty centurions that represented the twenty different cohorts, and two elected praetors from any of the twenty centurions. The centurions were divided based on skill and dominant traits, and in some cases who you were born to.

Percy for example was one of the only members in cohort three, the cohort of water. People that lived in the cabin were closely related to Poseidon, the immortal of seas, or water nymphs, or were incredibly good when it came to any water activity.

Annabeth was a mortal who was incredibly good at changing any form of magic and was in Cohort 6, where the children of Minerva usually went. They were known for Strategic thinking and Leadership, Annabeth was the centurion. Nico is a child of Hades, the immortal Death, The Underground, and Darkness, and is the centurion of Cohort 13. His younger sister Hazle was the only other occupant of Cohort 13.

Will pointed to a solid gold cabin, which seemed to either reflect the sun or was glowing itself. Cohort 7 was for children born to Helios, the immortal of Day. Healing was another large part of Will's Cohort. Will told them that he was a few generations removed but was a descendent of Helios.

"So you have solar powers?" Athena asked after Will finished talking about his Cohort.

"I'm honestly a better healer but I can heal and control light," Will said smiling bright enough to rival the sun itself.

"He also glows," Nico said smirking at the puppy-eyed glare Will sent his way.

"That's not important," Will shoot back at the smaller boy.

"He's the best medic we have," Annabeth said trying to get the conversation back on topic. The two continued to quietly bicker but there was no real heat.

"So how long has Jason been here for?" Thalia asked out of the blue looking away from the two boys over to Annabeth.

"He's been here since he was a toddler, why?" Annabeth asked confused.

"His surname isn't by any chance Grace?" Thalia asked quickly. Nico stopped his conversation and turned to look intensely at Thalia. Artemis, just like Annabeth was confused by the woman's question. She knew that Thalia had a little brother who was said to have died in a wolf attack but besides that had no family that she cared about.

"Why do you want to know?" Nico said before Annabeth could answer.

"I don't see why you need to know?" Thalia said narrowing her eyes at the shorter boy. Before another fight could be started Annabeth jumped in to supply Thalia with her answer.

"Yes, his full name is Jason Grace," Annabeth said still looking confused but trying to stop an oncoming storm.

"Where is he now? Can I see him?" Thalia's voice was shrill and urgent.

"Probably at the arena sparring with Percy, and I guess so?" Will offered to take them while Nico stated that he would be coming with them. Reyna opted to go with Thalia saying that they would meet up later that night. With that, the four hurried off towards the arena.

"What was that about?" Annabeth asked after the group had disappeared from sight.

"I don't know..." Artemis said turning to Zoë who shrugged. Annabeth then continued on with the tour as if nothing had happened. She showed them the climbing wall which was cover in lava. The amphitheater where the campers met at night for a sing-along, campfire, and a variety of other things. The stables held more Asseros' and a few unmagical horses, and pegasi. They then walked past the cabins, each held one Cohort and a number of campers. They ended their trip by walking past the armory then heading to the arena.

They entered the opened roofed area to see Thalia and Jason stabbing at each other. Nico, Will, Percy, and the feather girl sat on the sides watching them spare. Thalia had her long golden spear out, her shield sat on one of the benches next to her brown leather bag. Jason on the other hand was fighting her with a golden gladius.

The three walked over to the group that was already sitting to watch the two dance around each other.

"What did we miss?" Artemis asked sitting down next to Reyna who turned to her with a sarcastic smile.

"Nothing much, except that Jason is Thalia's presumed dead little brother. And they are both the children of Jupiter, the immortal of the sky. But besides that, not much." Artemis and Zoë both gave out shocked reactions before turning to watch the two reunited siblings spar.

The match ended with Thalia disarming her brother and a golden spear pointed at his chest.

"I win," Thalia said grinning at her brother.

"My turn!" Percy yelled grabbing a bronze sword running up to the spot where Thalia had just stood.

"Water first," Jason said grabbing a cantine and drinking the water that poured from it. He then walked over to the blond positioning himself lower to the ground getting ready to go again.

"Bro... what if we had a homoerotic sword fight..." Percy said smiling like an idiot before striking, they exchanged a few blows before backing away giving the other time to think. "jk, jk," Percy said referring back to his earlier comment. The two exchanged a few more swings before Percy spook once again, "...Unless?" The ravenett struck once more causing Jason to get knocked to the floor.

"I am literally the straightest person here," Nico said shaking his head at the Percys comment.

"What do you mean by that?" Artemis asked. The elder princess was confused at their language, straight? homoerotic? And why no one else found it strange that the two boys were acting playfully romantic towards each other.

"By what?" Nico asked looking at her instead of the stone floor.

"Straight?" Artemis asked her cheeks burning as the others looked at her like this was a ridiculous question.

"Straight is another word for someone who likes the opposite gender," Annabeth explained.

"Are you implying that males can love other males? And females other females?" Athena asked astonished at the information.

"While yea, there's nothing wrong with loving who you want to love," Will said softly. "I mean Nico's my boyfriend," He said smiling and gesturing to the boy next to him. A blush covered the pale boy's cheeks as he mumbled something about 'Significant annoyance.'

"Really?" Zoë and Reyna said simultaneously.

"Yea, and don't let anyone ever tell you differently," Nico said his eyes darkening "Because they are wrong."

Artemis felt a weight lift from her that she never knew she was carrying. She had never been interested in being intimate with any male. The thought of marrying any man and having his children make Artemis sick. The news that this wasn't a bad thing, that she could love a female, a girl! It made her happier than she could say. Zoë, Reyna, and Thalia wore a similar expression. Athena just looked thoughtful and happily surprised.

Artemis turned to look at Zoë and smiled at the older girl, for some reason her aunt's words from the day before came back to her, "So who is it? I also know the face of heartbreak, whether you know it or not. " Artemis remembered telling her aunt that she loved no one, only for her aunt to ask her if she was sure. Then before her aunt could say who she believed her heart belonged to, Hermes had interrupted. Artemis wished now more than anything that she had gotten to hear her aunt's last words before they fleed.

--------------------------------

WHAT COHORT##BY BIRTH##TRAITS AND/OR POWERS##CENTURIONS##OTHER STUFF

Cohort 1: (Jupiter) Sky and Justice [Jason] Cohort 2: (Juno) Family and Unity [OC] Cohort 3: (Posiden) Sea and Freespirt [Percy] Cohort 4: (Demeter) Earth and Stability [Katie] Cohort 5: (Mars) War and Physical strength [Clarisse] Cohort 6: (Minerva) Strategic thinking and Leadership [Annabeth] Cohort 7: (Helios) Day and Healing [Will] {Apollo is his name in both Romand and Greek, I did what I could} Cohort 8: (Diana) Moon and Independence [Bianca] Cohort 9: (Vulcan) Medal and Inventions [Leo] Cohort 10: (Venus) Munlipltiveness and Indisisviness [Piper] Cohort 11: (Mercury) Trickery and Stealth [Connor] Cohort 12: (Bacchus) Madness and Facetious [Pollux] Cohort 13: (Hades) Death, The Underground and Night [Nico] Cohort 14: (Iris) Messenger and Color [Butch] Cohort 15: (Hypnos) Dreams and Self-preservation [Clovis] Cohort 16: (Nemesis) Balance and Vengeance [OC] Cohort 17: (Nike) Pride and Victory [Holly and Laurel] {They refused to pick one} Cohort 18: (Hebe) Forgiveness and Childress [Paolo] Cohort 19: (Tyche) Good Luck and Balance [Chiara] Cohort 20: (Hecate) Magic and thoughtful [Lou Ellen]

Praetors: Frank and Hazle

#zartemis #zoë nightshade #artemis #fanfic #fanfiction #fantasy AU #fantasy #magic #royalty au #ao3 fanfic #notes ao3 #read on ao3 #Nico di Angelo #percy jackson #jason grace

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ineedahiddencorner · 4 years

Text

6.23.20

One thing that I was just reminded of in a dream:

Part of the reason why I don't feel completely myself, no matter how well I fix my algorithm?

No real dancing.

I've been swing dancing since I was 13. I don't know the official date of my swingiversary (unlike some folk) because I was dragged along. My sister's then-boyfriend's sister was a regular there and had gotten my sister involved. My sister had been trying to get me to come for weeks. In theory, I was down - she'd taught me the East Coast basic and two turns years before, but only the lead's footwork. (This was very quickly discovered at a volleyball teammate's swing birthday party, where the instructor asked for volunteers for a demonstration. I was so excited, and then did so terribly because I kept trying to start on my left foot.. it was a learning experience.)

I distinctly remember the day she got me to come. She was in the downstairs bathroom, door closed, and I was chatting with her from just outside. I don't remember any of our previous conversation, but just the following:

"Hey [my name]"

'Yeah?"

"Guess what day it is"

[I knew it was Thursday. There was a moment of silence.]

I can't remember the exact words of my reaction, but I'm certain I started fumbling around trying to make excuses for my completely open evening. Sequins just kept firmly saying, "Nope. It's Thursday, you're coming to [Lindy]."

Little did I know..

.. Just how TERRIBLY I'd do my first night!

Of course I jumped into the beginner Lindy lesson. This was when they still taught an actual lindy basic in that time, plus one move.

I don't remember the lesson or most of the evening. I only remember my first actual dance on the floor - the first one they played after lesson - where a kind gentleman asked me to dance and I could not get through a count of 8 without stopping. I may have once or twice in the whole song. We just stuck with lindy, no East Coast.. It did not go the greatest.

Part of it might be terrible memory (as previously found out this last week), but I don't remember being upset.

As mentioned, I don't know how the rest of the evening went, but evidently I kept going.

I don't have too many early memories - mostly things like wearing the red dress that was really a Latin dress but was the only dance-y dress I owned. Then wearing a different dress that I was.. hmm.. not old enough to fill, and one embarrassing dance related. With the addition of dresses came the one night that taught me to wear dance shorts. (I'm certain nothing actually happened, but that concern when you normally wear baggy shirts and jean shorts, and you feel the skirt lifting higher than you'd like? It changes you.)

My first most common outfit (though I can't remember how soon this was after I started) was my red latin dress, a red flower clip in the back, and my slightly-too-big red flats. (A.k.a. the ones I wore EVERYWHERE through ninth and tenth grade.)

Eventually [Haute] gave me my black and white, polka-dot diner dress. I still have that one, and wear it on occasion, but it's just getting old. (It started my Heart of Haute collection though, which was all I would wear for years.)

But that second common outfit was that diner dress, the red flower, and red flats.. clearly there was some easing that needed to happen. Somewhere around there I must've gotten into a single red lip color I had - but I only applied on the main lip area, no edges and most definitely no shape. Ah. Oh very grateful we've come a long way on that end.

I would stand immediately left of the door, cause that's where our friend and Sequins would stand. That stuck even when Sequins stopped coming. (I don't remember why.. but our friend and her friend kept coming for a bit and then stopped too.)

I remember learning the subtle art of asking for/declining a dance even before partners asked - I thought it was the coolest, subtlest thing. I remember watching follows do swivels and admiring them. If I wasn't dancing, I was standing with my arms behind my back, leaning against the wood of that door-left area.

I learned to love dance so much.. in tenth grade my teacher (and mom of my dear friend Caesar - one should also note the class consisted of Rose, Caesar, and I) told us about a dream she had about me getting all the boys from dance. I was mortified, everyone laughed, and it's been a tease since.

Oddly enough, somewhere in there I had the first gentleman ask me out. We were great dance friends! Tried to get a dance with him each time - we got along so well. At one point he asked if I had a boyfriend. I laughingly replied some variation of no. He asked if he'd have a shot. I kindly (and genuinely!) explained that I was 14, but sincerely appreciated it and if I'd been older, absolutely! (I never got his age but knew he was older than me.) He was embarrassed, and I don't really remember seeing him much after.. I understand the embarrassment but still miss him. Alas.

(And there-related, I'm either impressed with him or myself - either he had a very kind eye or I looked relatively together at the time, cause let me just tell you, compared to today's get ups? Oh honey. Oh I was so not properly dressed. Pretty sure this was still when I'd slick my hair back into a tight ponytail.. oof nope not my best look.

That said, we all start somewhere, but dang..)

I definitely had regular partners through that time, though they've changed drastically! It wouldn't be for a couple years that I'd meet Kaiju, Respect-women-juice, and Steals - my longest running, in-and-out-of-dance friends! Let alone more recent friendships..

Oof the early days. Parents dropping me off and picking me up. Then me driving myself but having to be home by 11 for the first year of my license. The different parking lots - North, South, and finally the underground (and my SPOT. I miss my spot. And B. I hope she's doing okay.)

I miss Lindy so much. I relatively regularly attended from that point on. It was a key part of my week for almost half of my life. It's definitely shaped so many parts of my life - respect, communication, kindness, joy, confidence, self-respect.. and much more I know. Heck, even gender roles - I remember getting so excited about leading and talking to a non-dance person as I got better. They were confused as to why being ambidancetrous was a goal and thought it was odd for people to be swapping around the 'fundamental dynamic' of a guy leading and girl following. Meanwhile I was so excited about leading I forgot that was even a view.

(My feelings were captured in the in image below:)

I miss dance. I miss the feeling of a good swingout. Of hitting the break perfectly. Of a favorite song coming on and despeRATELY NEEDING TO FIND THAT PERSON. I miss seeing other dancers in public and getting all excited. I miss trying a dance with a stranger and having it go REALLY FREAKING WELL. I miss finding story songs with Sandman and playing all sorts of characters. I miss laughing when messing up. I miss messing up but playing it off. I miss playing off an entire song cause neither of us are feeling it so we both just act ridiculous. I miss switch dances. I miss getting more confident in my lead. I miss dancing outside Lindy and Peanut-Butter & Dance. I miss hugging my friends. And getting good dips. And everyone's "dance outfits." I miss the Sisters' elaborate themes. The regular FEAST of snacks. I miss Heroes sneaking me in. I miss helping afterwards and catching up with everyone. I miss the peppermints at Lindy and having to move my "spot" for my stuff when the corner would get crowded. I miss the friends I'd make in the ladies lounge. I miss dance shoes. And space. And Camp Hollywood.. frick I miss Camp Hollywood. Days of dancing. The whole mindset being different. (And I was even going to bring ACTUAL food this year! (Not that protein bars and bananas aren't great, but.. variety)

I miss the music. The go to songs. I miss the smells of each of my favorite dance places. I miss feeling like I'm "coming home" every time.. And even if I have very low energy, still having a lovely night talking away to someone.

Especially Lindy. It did feel like home. I knew so many folks there. It was a wonderful home outside school, outside Old Street/New Street. It was my own space where I'd created myself. (Not in a facade way - quite the opposite. Where I'd built myself and my adult identity up from the roots.) It was my space. Not in an owning way, but in an independence way. Before I attended professional mixers and conferences, before I started at Engineering School, before I'd really had full on interviews - I was already my own person, forged by way of jazz music and incredible dancers.

That last part of the sentence is still off. Mostly cause it reduces dance to two things. But eh.

Of course as an adult there's so much more to learn about dance. Now is the perfect time to catch up on my swing history. It's changed over the years and I want to know that change. It's meant more than just light-hearted movements, and I want to catch up.

It's not stagnant. There's much more to know.

I've ignored dance due to "new physics" and therefore subconsciously not letting myself connect with that part of me. But there are other pieces I can learn without actually dancing.

Now is the perfect time for that.

#dance #i miss it #express #indirect

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undertalefan715 · 5 years

Text

Doing one of the ask lists for Joyce. :3 @createsy-muffin

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

Never held hands...

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

Umm.. it kinda depends sometimes.

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

Nobody rn.

4. Are you easy to get along with?

I think so.

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

Well, one: I’m never gonna get drunk. two: I don’t think anyone would give a shit if I was drunk tbh.

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

Oh, Idk! lots.

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

God I hope so..

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

Umm.. you Joyce. heheh.. :3

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

It depends on the person I’m talking too.

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Probably Spoony.

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

“Jeez..”

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

Oof.. Idk it’s hard for me to choose songs. ‘cause there’s always alot. :’)

Well um.. Never and 151 Rum from J.I.D, Chris Cornell’s cover of Billie Jean, Chum from Earl Sweatshirt, Hellboy from Trippie Redd, and Pink Maggit from Deftones.

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

Omg yes yessss- (my hair is made to be pet and played with)

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

Yeah. heh.

15. What good thing happened this summer?

(it’s not summer yet)

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

Ooo, yes. (I love to think aliens exist somewhere)

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

Nope.

19. Do you like bubble baths?

Yeah, they’re pretty nice and relaxing.

20. Do you like your neighbors?

Fuck no. ugh.

21. What are you bad habits?

I really don’t know.

22. Where would you like to travel?

Japan. one day.

23. Do you have trust issues?

At times. very very rarely though.

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

Playing guitar. :> (or taking a bath)

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

My eyebrows, or my mustache. (mostly my eyebrows)

26. What do you do when you wake up?

Nothing. :/

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

Idc. but I do wish I was a bit darker.

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

Spoony and Joyce.

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

...No. I could only wish though.

30. Do you ever want to get married?

Eh.. depends.

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?

Oh yeah. hahah.

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

Oh, I really don’t know actually. but one of those celebrities would be Jason Momoa, ‘cause godDAMN he is fine. >u>

33. Spell your name with your chin.

.,I,KRF (omfg hah)

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

Nah.

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

Oh definitely TV. if I lived without music, I’d probably die. lol.

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

I don’t think so. no.

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

“Awkward silence..?” then I laugh.

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

Strong, cute and adorable, beautiful and pretty, sweet and caring, affectionate and loving, very cuddly and understanding, kinda feminine, funny... heh.

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

Ingles. (a small local store over here in NC. Idk if some of y’all are familiar with it)

40. What do you want to do after high school?

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

Yes.

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

Concentrating, or really upset/depressed.

43. Do you smile at strangers?

Yeah, sometimes. :3

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

Ooo! outer space definitely! :00

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

Nothing. (or my mom lol)

46. What are you paranoid about?

Pretty much everything.

47. Have you ever been high?

No.

48. Have you ever been drunk?

Nope.

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

Uhm.. not necessarily.

50. What was the color of the last hoodie you wore?

Idk.. black? (everything I wear is black lol)

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

Sometimes. not often.

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

I wish I wasn’t so depressed all the time...

53. Favorite makeup brand?

I don’t do makeup.

54. Favorite store?

Guitar Center. (lol..)

55. Favorite blog?

Idk.. I have lots of faves on here. ;-;

56. Favorite color?

Black and red. (so edgy)

57. Favorite food?

Doesn’t really matter but, probably pizza tbh.

58. Last thing you ate?

Salisbury Steak and Macaroni.

59. First thing you ate this morning?

Idk. cereal?

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

Idk, I don’t really compete.

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

Idk. and if I did, it was probably for something completely ridiculous I didn’t do, or didn’t mean to do.

62. Been arrested? For what?

Nope. (again, am gud boyo)

63. Ever been in love?

Yeah...

65. Are you hungry right now?

Nah.

66. Do you like your Tumblr friends more than your real friends?

Hell yeah! (I don’t even have any friends I know irl)

67. Facebook or Twitter?

Twitter of course. (the fuck is Facebook)

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

Uhm.. Tumblr.

69. Are you watching TV right now?

Bob the Builder. (don’t judge me) (also 69 heheheheheheh)

70. Names of your best friends?

Orion, Joyce, Rivers, Sam.

71. Craving something? What?

Nah.

72. What color are your towels?

Umm.. beige and a.. dry-ish looking pink.

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

About 4 or 5.

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

Sometimes. :’3

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

Oof, alot. :’)

75. Favorite animal?

Goats. :33

76. What color is your underwear?

...Black? (weird question but, alright)

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

Depends, but I’ve always liked vanilla.

78. Favorite ice cream flavor?

Pretty much anything with cookies in it.

79. What color shirt are you wearing?

Dark blue.

80. What color pants?

Black with red stripes.

81. Favorite TV show?

Right now, it’s Umbrella Academy.

82. Favorite movie?

Pretty much any Pixar film.

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

Haven’t watch either. and I don’t think I will.

86. Favorite character from Finding Nemo?

Idk umm.. Gill maybe?

87. First person you talked to today?

Either Galexion or Joyce.

88. Last person you talked to today?

I think, Spoony.

89. Name a person you hate?

*sigh* Idk.

90. Name a person you love?

Pretty much all my friends. :’))

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

One of my sister’s “friends”. she’s such a fucking bitch. a fucking snake.

92. In a fight with someone?

No.

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

I don’t think any.

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

Again, I don’t think I have any. (of my own, that is)

95. Last movie you watched?

Oof, I don’t know.

96. Favorite actress?

I don’t really have one.

97. Favorite actor?

Again, don’t really have one.

98. Do you tan a lot?

Nah. (I’m as white as a ghost actually)

99. Have any pets?

2 cats. :3

100. How are you feeling?

Okay. (tired though)

101. Do you type fast?

Sometimes. not alot though.

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

Yup.

103. Can you spell well?

Nope. hahah.

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

Yeah.. sometimes..

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

No..?

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

I-I hope not...

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

Yes! I was REALLY young though. :’)

108. What should you be doing?

Lots of things... u_u

109. Is something irritating you right now?

No.

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

Yeah...

111. Do you have trust issues?

No. but rn someone is really testing my trust.

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

I... I’m not sure.

113. What was your childhood nickname?

Idk, I can’t really remember rn...

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

The furthest I’ve been is tennessee. and that’s right next to us. lol..

115. Do you play the Wii?

Yeah. (I have different 3 Wii’s actually lmao)

116. Are you listening to music right now?

Yeah. Love Hurts. from Incubus..

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

Fuck yeah!!!

118. Do you like Chinese food?

Not really.

119. Favorite book?

Oof.. Idk.

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

No, not really.

121. Are you mean?

I... probably am rn...

122. Is cheating ever okay?

No. never.

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

Shoes?

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Of course. heheh. uwu

125. Do you believe in true love?

Ofc! >u<

126. Are you currently bored?

Yeah. :T

127. What makes you happy?

Goat boys, my friends, music. etc.

128. Would you change your name?

Nah, I like it. :3

129. What your zodiac sign?

Aries/Pisces cusp. :>

130. Do you like subway?

Nah.

131. Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Well, I’ll probably have the same feelings. heheh.

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

(didn’t I do this one before?)

133. Favorite lyrics right now?

“Pardon me, while I burst a flame, I’ve had enough of the world, and it’s peoples mindless games.” - Pardon Me from Incubus. (and lots of other lyrics, but that one is stuck in my mind)

134. Can you count to one million?

Hell no. lmao

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

Pretty much all lies I’ve told. (I can not lie for shit. which can be a good thing I guess)

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

I like them opened, but sometimes I gotta close them ‘cause of my cats. :T

137. How tall are you?

5′8.

138. Curly or Straight hair?

“Straight” hair.

139. Brunette or Blonde?

Brunette.

140. Summer or Winter?

Idk.. I think winter. uwu

141. Night or Day?

Both. but mostly night sometimes.

142. Favorite month?

March. :>

143. Are you a vegetarian?

Nope. lmao.

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

Milk or white chocolate. dark has always been kinda gross. Idk.

145. Tea or Coffee?

Neither. hot cocoa. :3

146. Was today a good day?

Eh. it was a day.

147. Mars or Snickers?

Eh. neither really.

148. What’s your favorite quote?

Ah.. Idk. I can’t really think of any...

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

Sometimes. :0

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

Um... I can’t rn. it’s a bit late...

#ask list #personal #again sorry for any mistakes. :S #might change some of them later btw.

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scrumptiousdonutangel · 6 years

Note

All

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

You are enough by sleeping at last, Good old days by macklemore and kesha, Blood//Water by Grandson, Eyes to the sky by Jon Bellion, High hopes by panic! at the disco, and Cowboy casanova by Carrie Underwood (I know its alot of genres)

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

TOM HOLLAND

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

“We looked carefully, but saw no apparitions”

4: What do you think about most?

This is going to sound full of myself, but i think about myself alot. I just like to self reflect and try to improve whatever i think can be improved upon.

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

“No problem, I can try to make it work”

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

with. I live with too many people to be sleeping nude.

7: What’s your strangest talent?

I can scream EXACTLY like a horror movie. I had to pretend to be a murdered scream for this real life clue thing once and it was awesome

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

Girls…. are absolutely goddesses and I fall in love with every one.

Boys…. are devilish jokers I wish I could stop falling for.

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

I think so? There’s a guy who likes me and would send me poems about “some mystery girl” who I’m like 98% sure is me

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

probs like last week

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

I have zoophobia actually, I love animals but they give me a huge amount of anxiety so I’ve been trying to get over it

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

I- I don’t know

13: What’s your religion?

I’m a christian, I actually got saved last year around this time!

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

Swimming

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

behind. always.

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

Lately it’s been Sleeping at Last. They’re so calm but meaningful I love it

17: What was the last lie you told?

“Nooooooooooo, hahahahahaha, why would I like you???? No offense I mean you’re really… uhm. nevermind. no, I don’t”

18: Do you believe in karma?

Abso-fuckin-lutely

19: What does your URL mean?

nothing really

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

I’ve been told they’re the same thing: I’m a really caring and sympathetic person which makes me good with people but also too trusting and gullible

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

TOM HOLLAND

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

no, but I lowkey really want to??? when I was little I read about it in nancy drew without even fully realizing what it was and I always wanted to try it

23: How do you vent your anger?

Usually by working out? I always joke that I don’t work out alot, but I bike/swim/walk/dance/do a ton of random muscle workouts pretty daily

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

I have a collection of lipsticks if that counts

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

it depends on the person, but I personally prefer video chatting just cause it’s easier to read body language

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

I feel like there’s ALOT of room to improve tbh

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

nails on a chalkboard ; dude anyone with a deep voice (no matter what they identify as) has my heart in a second of speaking

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

probably the usual “what if this had worked out” with a previous crush

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

yes. also yes. (don’t judge me)

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

my pillow and my bed

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

stale air. it is summer and hot. please send help.

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

this is gonna sound terrible, but probably in our car? I have so many bad memories and I hate driving it with a passion

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

west coast

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

Shawn mendes, no doubt

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

Helping other people

36: Define Art.

An expression of emotion so strong it makes the viewer also feel emotion

37: Do you believe in luck?

yes

38: What’s the weather like right now?

hOt

39: What time is it?

early evening

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

yes, not yet cause I barely ever drive

41: What was the last book you read?

the Odesseye

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

no???

43: Do you have any nicknames?

Way too many. My latest was “miracle” given to me by a ton of adorable middle schoolers who couldn’t remember anything but the first three letters of my name

44: What was the last film you saw?

the greatest showman

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

A sprained ankle

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

Yeah, it’s a long story but this one I think tried to have sex with my finger

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

dude I always do. Jane the Virgin is television gOLD

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

Right now I identify as either bisexual or pansexual

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

just small ones about who I like (that weren’t true and complicated friendships)

50: Do you believe in magic?

I don’t know

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

yeah, I’ve been trying to get better at it

52: What is your astrological sign?

Saggittarious

53: Do you save money or spend it?

I spend money way too easily, I’ve been trying to learn how to save more

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

A pretzel

55: Love or lust?

love

56: In a relationship?

I wish

57: How many relationships have you had?

None that I’d like to count

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

nope

59: Where were you yesterday?

At a bonfire

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

ohhhhh yeah

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

nope

62: What’s your favourite animal?

cats.

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

Friendship wise it’s just asking how their day is and asking if their doing okay. Romantic wise, I am soooo mean to people I like so usually just teasing them and buying them food

64: Where is your best friend?

right now at her home hopefully

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

@sophietheadventurer @s1n-am0n @darhwolf @undead-aesthetic @xqueenofpunsx

66: What is your heritage?

Mostly irish but my dad’s side has a heck of a lot of russian cause my great grandma is from Ukraine

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

sleeping like a wimp

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

mcdevil

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

Nope

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

I don’t know actually, I try to be the type of person I think a person NEEDS, so I would probs be pretty different if i was my friend

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

drown with the dog cause I can’t swim for crap but I’ll die trying

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a) I would only tell a couple people at first, the rest I’d tell farther in b) spend time with my family and friends and travel a whole lot/probs write ALOT c) I’d be more sad I didn’t have more time with the people I care about

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

love, I already don’t have trust let’s be real

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

Good old days by macklemore just cause it’s amazing

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

I’d give them out but like I already have way too many unknown numbers calling me

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

Two people who connect on a mental/emotional/spiritual level who can be completely themselves with each other and don’t have to spend all their time together, but cherish every single minute

77: How can I win your heart?

food and musicals

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

I think in a lot of ways it can, but that’s a whole debate in and of itself

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

coming back to the same summer camp every year

80: What size shoes do you wear?

7 and ½

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

“Now the only extra she is is dead”

82: What is your favourite word?

chimney (long story)

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

falling in love

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

“It’s not a look” or “oH honEy nO”

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

“God made girls” It’s been stuck in my head for ages

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

it changes almost daily but right now it’s a bright pink

87: What is your current desktop picture?

subtle gay art

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

That’s a hard question, too many horrible people alive

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

Someone irl asking my sexuality (i am very very deep in the closet)

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

Probs go back to bed I’m a tired chick man

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

Telepathy

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

this one specific car ride I had with my sister when I was younger

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

my entire life as a thirteen year old

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

tie between Kesha and Shawn Mendes

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

Greece

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

not that I know of but most likely yeah

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

wayyyyy too many times

98: Ever been on a plane?

yes

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

I would probably freeze up and say nothing

#long post #asks #answered #thanks dude #this actually helped me calm down alot

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maybeyoumissthisf-kingpost · 3 years

Text

Feminism and gender equality: Why does it suck?

First of all, this article is for Feminists, and is not contraindicated for women who are drawn into the Feminism movement without understanding the political tricks of the wire-pullers behind. I respect every woman. They are half of this world. I bet you'll agree with me on one thing: Women have always been honored for their direct and indirect contributions to human civilization. Because of that, I feel I have a responsibility to protect them from the malicious conspiracy of the Feminism movement.

In Vietnam, the liars call Feminism Feminism. But what RIGHTS? Where is the RIGHT? Which word in “Feminism” has RIGHT in it?

I call Feminism the Supreme Feminism

The press, as well as the simps with their pussy on their heads, praised this toxic choleraism, making the sisters think that this was a movement to fight for equal rights for women. I say,

My body is like a drop of rain. Seeds go to the castle, seeds go to the field to plow

Even if the raindrops don't have the same starting point, how can there be equality in this world? Can anyone try to name an equal country for me? There is no right. The leftists always do not draw two words EQUALITY to attract losers in society. Gender equality, income equality, racial equality, class equality? An all-too-familiar scenario for shepherding stupid sheep.

Want to know toxic feminism? Ask the Feminists!

Going back to the Mao or Bolshevik era in the mid-twentieth century, also with the scenario of class struggle for equal rights, a series of bourgeoisie were denounced, executed and executed [1][2]. Today, gender equality has the same color. There will be a day when the men - the object of attack by the struggle group - will fade away like the bourgeois in the revolutionary era. Of course, similar massacres are hard to come by in the modern world, but it will be done more delicately, instilling slowly and killing you like a Poison Mushroom. Remember, there is NEVER a struggle for equality that stops at the balance of interests, but it is always directed towards the exclusion and elimination of that object from society. If you think I'm taking it too seriously, you can check with the hashtag #KillAllMen on social media to see if it's terror enough. Too obvious for the toxicity of the modern feminist movement!

Looking back at Feminist's harsh words to men, plus the cheers of the left-wing media, do you see the danger? They inject young girls with the image of men as scum – lustful, slutty, wretched, etc. ALL MEN ARE WRONG is the mindset you can easily see in young girls these days. .

I know many female friends who have suffered a lot of hurt, even humiliation when going through toxic relationships with some assholes. I'm not defending those fuckboys. But women, the gender that is dominated by negative emotions [3][4][5] , after the breakup of a love affair is often easily lured into movements that boycott men with extreme arguments such as :

1. Women suffer many disadvantages when getting married and having children. Men do not have pain in childbirth, so they never appreciate this sacrifice of women.

2. All men are rapists [6] .

3. Women in the past could not study, could not participate in elections, so they always lost compared to men; Moreover, women are bound by many strict dogmas, marriage must be completely dependent on their husbands.

However, NO ONE told them:

1. The man carries the national responsibility on his shoulders. He could die, be stabbed by swords, shot by bullets, burned alive, dismembered, etc. on the battlefield to protect women and their children at home.

2. Even if two people have a completely voluntary relationship, if the girl accuses the boy of raping, he will still have to go to prison to schedule a schedule [7] . On the other hand, if a man alleges that he was raped by a woman, guess what percentage of him will win the case?

3. A man is by default the one who provides and protects his family for the rest of his life, and at the same time is the one who bears all the responsibilities – that is an inescapable destiny. He will be despised by people and despised by society if he cannot afford to take care of his wife and children. More than 150 years ago, if the wife committed a crime, it was the husband who would be punished or imprisoned under Coverture laws. Also in the old society, women can't vote, and men... can't vote anyway?! In feudal times, was the potato gourd? Kings follow the tradition of passing from father to son, but there is no election. Only in Western society do women have the right to vote, but under Coverture law, the husband will be the representative of the will of both.

No school, school, or newspaper tells today's boys and girls about these things. And young people are easily attracted by the new radical movements, resulting in society spawning the following groups:

The conspiracy behind the cover of gender equality: Breaking the gender line

The interests of men and women are inherently balanced, only when Feminism movements arose, that balance gradually tilted to one side. Worth mentioning, this bias is NOT beneficial to women, but only to benefit the policies and voting of the left. By taking advantage of the image of the LGBT community, Feminists argue that there is no difference between men and women, thereby breaking down gender boundaries. What is the result? It's the FEMALE, I'm not mistaken, the WOMEN are the recipients.

When it goes beyond the limits of the laws of nature, breaking the gender line has dire consequences for women.

Typically, Fallon Fox, a male MMA fighter (transgender) allowed to compete in the women's category, caused female boxer Tamikka Brents to break her skull and brain injury in just the first round. Another example is Mary Gregory, a transgender man who broke the record of four female weightlifters in a single day [8] .

So, does this movement really bring equality to women, or does it only increase social injustice? Of course, the madness of these guys won't stop, just think that one day when the genders are no longer distinguished, men will be able to enter the women's toilets!? Oh what a disaster!

Men and women are inherently different

Back in the beginning of the world, Eve was born from the body of Adam. She was not born from the bones of Adam's head so that she would rule over Adam; nor was she born from the bones of Adam's feet to be trampled upon by Adam; that she borne from Adam's rib that the two might be equal, under Adam's arm that she might be sheltered, near Adam's heart that she might be loved.

Both men and women are born different, taking on different roles in life. There are areas for men to control, and there are areas for women to control. Although there are many studies that have shown differences in brain thinking in both sexes, Feminists still try to deny this difference. Again, this distinction is a FACT (truth). Therefore, to deny this difference is to bend the truth.

Correct. Bend the truth is what Feminist is doing.1. Feminist: “Women must be treated like men”

There's a saying that goes, "Women can do anything a man can." However, history has always shown the opposite. Women rarely choose to confront, take responsibility for key decisions. This is easy to see that even in family relationships, the wife always gives her husband the right to decide when there is an important issue. To emphasize, this behavior is NOT BAD at all. Because it is the NATIONAL, the divinity of a woman.

I am not saying that men or women are better, but since ancient times, men have been identified as the ones who take the lead. He must be RESPONSIBLE and stand to solve his own and the woman's problems.

Therefore, women need to be treated like EVERYONE, not LIKE MAN. Again, I respect every woman. But if you want to win the respect of society, you must learn to be responsible… like a man.

2. Feminist: “Women must have the same salary as men”

In fact, it is not men who are paid more, but women who always choose lower paying jobs [9] . However, how to choose a job, it is completely the freedom of each person. Feminists want to force girls to work against their wishes, it can be said that it is an unethical behavior.

3. Feminist: “Women should be allowed to do men's jobs”

Everyone is given equal opportunities, but each gender has qualities that make us superior to the other half in some areas. For men, it's physical health, hard work is naturally suitable for men. For women, it is the ability to care, so women dominate the nursing field. Such division of labor is to ensure the highest economic efficiency for society. So, women don't need to do the work of men, they just need to do the work that they feel LIKE and DO GOOD.

4. Feminist: “Women must be treated by law in the same way as men”

The law is now “favoring” women, that is the reality, due to pressures from far-left movements. Specifically, we have women's rights, children's rights, but not men's rights. Even in the US, when it comes to legal protection, men even lose to dogs and cats. That is the imbalance caused by the Feminist and the leftists.

There is a funny story like this: “Oranges look both beautiful and delicious, so they are often used as juice; and the bitter melon is both bitter and rough, so no one has ever forced it to drink. Then one day the bitter melons rebelled to overthrow Orangeism. Proponents of bitter gourd believe that oranges can make juice, so can bitter melons. As a result, after years of struggle, the government passed the Plant Equality law, according to which anyone who drinks orange juice but does not drink bitter gourd juice will be jailed.”

Sounds absurd right? In short, men and women are inherently different. Both sexes are born to DO BETTER what the other cannot be in charge of. Orange has its own application, so does bitter melon. We cannot use others to measure ourselves. Doing so only shows that you are lowering your self-worth.

If you're not equal, don't be equal

It is ironic that Feminists are always anti-men, but covet their values. Value is something that takes effort to build, but cannot be asked to be recognized or given by others. To me, the value of a person lies in their usefulness. So be useful to family, friends and society; study and work kindly; serve and love the community. Don't compare yourself to others. Also, don't put others down, because it doesn't raise your self-worth. Because only what you do shows who you are in this world.

All credit goes to trantuansang.com.

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justeloisemuse · 3 years

Text

CS 003

1. top turn on?

Being forced to make eye contact

2. last time you had sex with the opposite gender?

Been a minute

3. last time you had sex with the same gender?

Too long, v sad

4. last time you masturbated?

Alskdjf last night

5. what’s the weirdest thing that has turned you on?

Someone spit in my mouth once, was weird but ok

6. what’s the weirdest thing you’ve masturbated with?

Can’t name anything out of the norm..

7. what’s the weirdest kind of p0rn you’ve watched?

It was a girl in some weird latex, vacuumed to her body.. I don’t even know how to describe it but interesting to watch her hands moving under it

8. how often do you masturbate/have sex?

Few times a week

9. have you ever taken nude pictures?

All the time

10. dom or sub?

Submissive bby~

11. is pain a good thing?

Soooometimes, there are lines. Drawing blood is a big line.

12. do you like biting?

Yas

13. do you like scratching?

Only if it's that good

14. are you slightly horny right now?

Maybe

15. are you very horny right now?

...No

16. do you like face fucking?

Apparently my lack of gag suppression is a turn on for some, so.. sure

17. 5 of your biggest turn ons?

*breathes*.. being degraded, being made to wait, more than one a time, commands, hair pulling

18. do you cook naked?

I’m naked a lot..

19. do you like foreplay?

It’s essential

20. have you had a vaginal orgasm?

If they're good

21. do you like sex with women?

Yes

22. do you like sex with men?

Also yes

23. would you have sex with a best friend?

Have, things got weird and possessy. But I feel it can be done

24. do you like your nipples played with?

Lord yes

25. do you like your lips bitten?

Till they get all heated and swollen

26. do you like to kiss with tongue?

Always, but I don’t care for feeling like I’m making out with a dog

27. how often do you masturbate?

Often

28. have you masturbated while someone else was in the room?

Yes, but only if they tell me to/give permission

29. would you have sex with a married person?

Seems hypocritical of me to say no.. I also don't ask.

30. would you have sex with a couple/multiple people?

Yes

, I love being the marshmallowy fluff center~

31. do you go outside naked?

I would if my neighbors weren’t prudes

32. do you like being woken up with sex?

The breakfast of champions

33. do you give oral?

Yes

34. would you let someone eat off of you?

Never tried it but sounds fun

35. what is the youngest/oldest you would sleep with?

Maybe a year younger. Salt and pepper speaks experience and I might have major daddy issues..

36. do you like having drunk sex?

Yes, though it doesn’t happen often cause I’m not a lightweight

37. do you enjoy wearing lingerie?

My favorite and second biggest collection after shoes

38. what is your favorite thing about sex?

That dazed out, getting fucked-stupid feeling

39. what is your favorite sexual setting?

I’m not picky so long as you’re not gonna make me be quiet, cause we’re gonna have issues

40. would you ever fool around in a movie theater?

Eh.

41. would you ever make a p0rno with your bf/gf?

I’ve been photographed, does that already count? But, sure

42. would you ever do a photo shoot in sexy clothes for your bf/gf?

Already did and would do again

43. do you like it rough or sensual?

Both, you gotta ease me in 🥺 and when you put the two together, you ever been choked while they're going deep and slow?

Just perfection

44. do you prefer to be with the opposite sex or the same sex? or both?

Typically lean towards the opposite cause straight girls are just teases

45. how often do you get drunk and have wild, crazy sex with a complete stranger?

Once in a while, I don’t get drunk easily

46. how do you feel about one night stands?

Fun

47. do you prefer to make love or fuck?

Fuck.

48. have you ever watched p0rn while having sex?

Nope

49. how long do you usually fore-play before doing the deed?

Until I can’t stand it anymore

50. do you like kissing during sex?

More so after.. helps with the soothing

51. does size matter?

I mean..

52. how many sexual partners have you have in the last month?

None.. I might start going blind

53. what does your favorite foreplay include?

Strip teases~

54. have you ever done anal? if so, did you like it?

Yes.. *breathes* yes..

56. do you ever worry about how you’re pleasing your partner? Yes, I always want to please and need the confirmation/praise 57. could you live without sex? Uh, no 58. how long does a typical sexual episode last for you? Depends 59. do you like to perform oral sex? Yea.. 60. do you like to receive oral sex? Drives me crazy when they know what they’re doing 61. have you ever taped yourself in the act?No 62. have you ever had a 3-some? 4-some? 5-some? Two threesomes 63. have you ever been caught in the act? Some close calls, but no 64. have you ever had sex while on drugs?Haha.. guilty 65. would you let other people watch you have sex live? Already strip, how bad could it be? 66. do you ever have sex in the shower? Yes and I almost drowned, never again 67. what was the biggest age difference with a partner? 10 years older 68. do you feel you're up to par in bed? Pretty confident, bby 69. what was your most embarrassing sexual moments? ...I hate even saying the word but it’s mortifying when there’s.. “sounds” and, no, not from the mouth 70. do you like having sex in cars? if so, driver seat, passenger, or back? Very awkward doing it in the car, but I like leaning over to the driver and getting them all riled up on the ride 71. do you wear protection as often as you should? I prefer they do 72. do you prefer to sleep with someone older or younger than you? Older 73. have you ever done bondage sex (chains ,whips, etc.)? Yes 74. can you remember who gave you the best sex of your life? Yep. But I don’t kiss and tell 75. if you could sleep with anyone, who would it be? I like keeping my options open

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