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nahalism · 14 days

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Have you ever beaten yourself down or felt defected because you couldn’t uphold a routine?

I am going through something like this now. I see people around me who, of course to varying degrees (but some excell in) getting their diet, sleep schedule, studying/working, exercising routine in check, having a plan. And whenever i try, for the love of me, i just cannot uphold it. I can’t be consistent, my brain just doesn’t work like this but i keep hearing that it has improved peoples’ lives so much, developing a routine and sticking to it. And i know me not having one is probably not in my favor (studying whenever i have the ”inspiration” to because otherwise my brain just shuts off no matter how i try to trick myself instead of regularly and smooth sailing through assignments as a result) can’t go to sleep and wake up at the same time every day INCLUDING WEEKENDS can’t eat regularly. So i try to improve myself and chase this but all it does is reflect to me that i am just not able to and it makes me feel even worse about myself. And i personally know people who ARE able to do all of that and i can see it pays off in so many ways, in their life. My thoughts get in the way, my feelings get in the way and they make me pretty much not functional for periods of time and i am not sure if these people experience the exact same „wall” and they consistently push through it or if maybe my wall is just a big higher and stronger than theirs sometimes. I feel like my brain is against me, truly. (Probably relevant to mention that i do have some mental problems overall which could be affecting all i mentioned and the way i function, it still feels so defeating to me)

such a long message, i am sorry. i hope you are love lately x

hey beautiful <3. my reply will be equally as long if not longer so no need to be sorry :)

yes. lol just, yes. ive been through the exact same feelings that you describe and even though i struggle less now, i struggle less only as a consequence of my ability to be kinder and more tolerant of myself, not because ive magically changed into someone different. — ill try to explain what i did to help but ill be honest, theres only ever been one solution for me which is to do the work. its hard, its lonely, no one comes to help, or to save you, they even stop pretend ing to care. people will try to support you, but despite best intentions may fall short or lack the capacity to give you what you actually need. so you have to be the one. you have to carry yourself over the finish line, often at the cost losing things, people and parts of yourself that you think you love and cant do without (its soul wrenching but worth the initial discomfort, i promise). every breakthrough is hard earned and often doesnt even feel like the cherry on the top that its supposed to be. so the only way to find the will to keep going is to enjoy the challenge of the journey and learn to love what choosing to 'carry your own cross' is developing in you.

1) the first thing i had to do was make that cross worth carrying for myself. not because id been told to do it, had to do it, or because 'self care' is important, but because I was priority enough to myself that i found the willpower to see it though. to make that possible i had to understand why i was my number one priority, and then make my actions reflect that. it sounds heroic but it looked like excavating my soul, saying no to anything i didnt want to do, and anything i did out of obligation. that included essays, exams, my job, friends, family. maybe that sounds extreme but i realised that all those things meant nothing if the person who was meant to be showing up for them didnt want to be alive/was in anyway unhealthy, or was so dysfunctional that they showed up as a semi sane version of themselves. my whole personality was a trauma response, and even despite the trauma i had to look at what i was doing to create the circumstances i was unhappy with. going from responding unconsciously to consciously choosing my actions was brutal. all of this sounds empowering but it often looks and feels shambolic & looks like being a fuck up. i literally appeared to the outside world like someone who had gone off the edge and was failing at life. for context, making the choices im talking about led to me retaking a year at uni, being a ghost to everyone and everything in my life, having panic attacks every night because despite feeling like i was doing the right thing i had no evidence it would work and no idea how id make it out & all this lasted for way after i graduated so people were looking at me crazy :). HOWEVER, its also how i learned to draw, how i restored my relationship with myself, how i found the passion and excitement to work toward a goals i had set (not the ones set for me). i also became confident for the first time in my life. like actualll self esteem and self knowledge. i hated being seen or perceived due to things id been through, and still struggle with that now tbh. so when i look at the fuller version of myself im embodying today, the multiple ways ive put myself outside of my comfort zone, (and the versions of me i know are to come) i know that the first steps began with following my gut and taking that initial leap of faith that honoured the truth of who i felt myself to be, not the pattern id been following/living in.

2) that first step is important cause when what you do what matters to you, you gain a different willpower (aka passion) that fuels what you do and why you do it. i spent my whole childhood with e.d's and unable to consistently work out/find working out pleasurable. however once i built a relationship with myself and understood what a body was and why it deserved my respect, working out stopped being about the pressure to be a fine babe, and about desiring mobility, full function of my vehicle and longterm health. i say that to say, sometimes its not that your undisciplined, but that your trying hard at the wrong things. (an undisciplined or inconsistent person doesn't keep trying at things despite failing time and time again...). another way to look at it is — a goat is not meant to be a sheep, nor a sheep a goat. theres nothing wrong with being either, but you have to know which you are. (this takes us back to point one: are the things you put pressure on yourself to do/be/accomplish, authentic to you or are you imposing them of yourself because of pressure/expectation/superficial reasons). if its the later, you cannot wait till you have the answers to change the direction your moving in. you have to pivot, take the next step in the direction that feels purposeful and deeply honest to you, and trust that even though you cant see the whole path, the next step will be revealed as you continue to walk forward. the mental illness doesnt go away, but it fades as your tolerance increases. its not meant to be easy, if you can remember that then you'll be okay.

3) you dont have to do it perfectly. you just have to do it. over time, ive had routines w/ varying success. my overarching interests, goals/priorities are the same, but they fluctuate which means i can struggle with consistency and seeing things through (not cause i dont want to be consistent but i feel like i change so rapidly as a person that i almost forget why i set certain goals for myself and why building the routine/proficiency in skill was important to me in the first place). in this sense, its hard to accomplish a goal if you dont relate to the version of yourself you were when you set it. so part one to this point is, i have to use my quirks to my advantage. i know that i tend to cycle through my interests every 3 months ish. so, i set goals that can be accomplished in 3 month cycles rather than over the course of a year. in doing that i achieve small steps toward the larger, more diverse vision of my life i have for myself, meaning i could have one goal - lets say financial freedom - and 3 projects over the course of 9 months that feed into that goal. this works for me because i know i can sustain deep focus over the course of those three months and so will accomplish what ive set out to do. — but whats key for you, is that you find out what works for you. if you start to embrace your needs and what makes you different, you can also embrace the ways it makes you and your approach unique and innovative. rather than a hinderance or a source of 'why cant i be like/function like everyone else'. ——— that leads on to the second part, which is learning to carry the good with the bad. e.g. — whilst the way i fluctuate makes me multifaceted, it also means that one month im focused on art (my style) & reading, the next i might be on philosophy and writing, right before i get back to gardening and portrait practice, then cycle back to learning languages or an instrument. that level of commitment to multiple disciplines means what could take me 3 months to accomplish if i had a single minded focus, gets dragged out into a year long affair. lmty, its almost as frustrating to make slow progress as it is not to progress at all. so sometimes i feel like ive come so far only to have achieved the bare minimum. ive had to learn to appreciate that slow and steady approach (rather than chasing immediate perfection which leads to burn out) and be grateful for the fact that even though its taking long, at least im moving in the right direction. eventually ill learn the skill of expediting each of my processes, but right now this is where im at. extending that kind of grace and mercy to yourself is the biggest part of this all. because if i know im not good at structure, and im specifically struggling with it at this moment, maybe i dont need to hyper-fixate on having a morning routine right now. maybe for the next few months, its not about doing yoga the moment i wake up (even if i know thats best for me) maybe i just need to do yoga at 'unspecified time today'. maybe i dont need to sleep at 10pm. i can actually start work at 10pm, and go to sleep at 6 am. as long as i do yoga, as long as i go to sleep, as long i *insert task*, that is enough for right now. infact more than enough, its a victory. so, work on your own schedule and embrace it. trust that you've set goals and failed before but that you are still here and still committed to getting it right next time, which means you are a trustworthy person who can rely on themselves to show up for themselves. the more you practice not giving up, the smaller the gap between your ability to take action, which means the greater your ability to develop the skill of routine. perhaps not a conventional routine, but routine just means habit. over the course of your life, you are building the habit of not giving up. or of consistently coming back to & developing skills you wanna build. that is the desired outcome, not the structure of how you achieve that, but the fact that you have achieved some form of taking action consistently.

last thing i want to leave you with is the way i see and feel you. you could have asked me anything, you could have asked me nothing at all, but you chose to ask me about how to improve your situation. in that sense, your words have betrayed what your will and your desire is. the things we desire today, dictate the person we become tomorrow, and so i know without a doubt that its not a matter of if, but a matter of when you achieve these routines, their outcomes (& so much more, you cant even imagine whats on the other side). <3. it takes a very special kind of grit and resilience to fail and to try again. you inspire me and remind me of the qualities that make humans truly beautiful, truly necessary and truly precious. so dont give up, dont go under. none of this is meant to break you, just pull out what is inevitable to who you are and what you are meant to be. it is going to be hard, but you are not alone even when you are alone, and when you make it out the other end you become a testimony for others, (& evidence that they arent alone either). keep fighting, i believe in you, sending big love & a big hug xx-xx

#ask #🖤

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skyloftian-nutcase · 8 months

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Hey Lofty! Hope things are going well. :)

I'm switching to a night shift at my work! It's good, active work, so I anticipate feeling better when it actually begins, but I've been slowly switching my sleep schedule and I feel AWFUL. I'd rather not rely on caffeine to be productive during the daylight hours I'm awake. Is it a matter of time? Do you know of anything I can do to make the transition easier?

First, I am sending you hugs and wishing you luck. ❤️ Night shifts are my favorite but they are rough on the body.

Here are tips for surviving nights and getting proper sleep.

As for how you feel in the daylight, some quick pointers:

When you’re first transitioning, depending on if you’re a natural morning bird or night owl, your body is probably going to be very unhappy. We as humans are naturally designed to be up with the sun and sleep when it’s dark. You’re going to feel like garbage the first several times you sleep through a day and stay up all night. Sleepy headaches are common, as well as just generally feeling run down. I usually don’t caffeinate on my days off, but it does take me several hours to wind up for my day.

Go outside. I cannot emphasize enough how much sunlight makes a difference, and night shifters get so little of it. Get yourself a light therapy lamp for the winter, you’re going to need it. My brother has an alarm clock that lights up like a sun and slowly gets brighter as a means of waking him up, and I think that’s a brilliant idea, so maybe invest in one of those too. I just looked up “sunrise wake up alarms” on amazing and found several options.

Do not maintain the same sleep cycle if you have multiple days off. My work schedule is a little weird, I usually only have one to two days off between shifts and that doesn’t give much time for resetting, but every three weeks I’ll have a handful of days off and I’ll switch back to days briefly to maximize on being a normal human being. A lot of people switch back by just taking a nap until noon and then being up until night and sleeping the rest of the night. I often just stay up until early evening and then sleep. If your schedule doesn’t allow for switching back and forth (like your work days are broken up similar to mine most of the time), just go to bed a little earlier; instead of going to bed at 9am, go to bed at 4am - you can comfortably sleep until noon and get a good amount of sleep and have a fair amount of the day left. It’s no different than normal people adjusting their sleep schedule by a few hours on the weekends.

Consistency is a big deal. Your body will either figure out the sleep cycle you’re giving it or make one for you. Either way, if you keep your bedtime consistent, give or take a few hours, your body will be much happier about it.

I hope this helps! ❤️

#you ask skye answers #lovely anon #I love my night shifts but they’re absolutely awful for your health #So definitely take care of yourself

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school-of-roses · 2 years

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╔═══°∴,⋅✲══〖✰〗══✲⋅,∴°═══╗ Sweet Dreams and Insomnia ╚═══°∴,⋅✲══〖✰〗══✲⋅,∴°══╝

Lavender, Chamomile, Thyme- sweet dreams, sublime!

Dream Pouches:

Dream pouches are pouches of objects, usually herbs, that are used usually to manifest magic that is related to sleep. I personally use empty tea bags. Using small bags to hold spellwork isn’t an innovation by any means, but this is definitely one of the most common kinds. Often these are hung near the bed, or placed under the pillow. Some use these for things like enhancing astral travel or helping one sleep better in general; but I would say from my personal experience, that the most common use for them is, as the name implies, better dreams. Often combined with some elements of protective magic, these spells are used to ward off nightmares and enhance dreams.

Dream Recall:

One thing that helps with dream recall is good sleep hygiene. This will be elaborated on more later in this passage. Unsurprisingly, to remember your dreams you actually have to get to sleep in the first place. Specifically, this is taking twenty minutes before falling asleep meditating, and being very consistent with your sleep.

Focusing on trying to remember your dreams right when you wake up is also a plan with some evidence of success, but if you are the kind of person who doesn’t have that kind of luck where you can tell you dreamed in the first place, this might be less effective. This sits in a similar vein to the plan of taking a journal every morning and getting used to writing things down as this can help long term. However, if you can’t even recall them in the first place, that is kind of a non-starter.

Other things that can help with dream recall are tricks like drinking a lot of water before bed, or getting sleep trackers to wake you up. Drinking the water should cause your body to wake you up at around the optimal time for dream recall. Doing something similar with an alarm very well could have a similar effect.

Some have had luck with using intent and spells themselves to achieve this effect; especially, I’m told, doing mantras in your head before bed to convince yourself you will remember your dreams.

Sleep Positions:

There is some research to suggest that it does affect what kind of dreams you have. This research isn’t perfect, but the early findings suggest that sleeping on your right side leads to less nightmares, and thus more good dreams, and the left, in opposition, has more nightmares, and less peaceful dreams. As for dream recall, sleeping on your back reported the least recall of dreams of any of the options. Sleeping on your stomach seemed to just lead to neck pain with no leanings in any direction.

Sleep Hygiene:

Sleep hygiene at its core is about using research studies to promote the best possible chance at sleep you can get. Some people aren’t going to need sleep hygiene as much as others, but if you can’t sleep, you can’t dream. These things, for the most part, might sound obvious or like something your mother tells you. However, they wouldn’t get repeated if they weren’t proven to work.

Going to sleep at the same time every night is a powerful tool. You may need to make gradual changes to get to the point you want to, and that is perfectly okay. Unfortunately, for some, this means staying consistent with your schedule of sleeping and waking even when it’s not as fun or as nice a feeling. That means no staying up late or sleeping in on weekends too. It’s a guilty pleasure to sleep-in to our hearts' content, but if you’re keeping a better schedule over the week, this becomes less necessary in the first place. This also means less napping, especially late in the afternoon. None of these things are pleasant, but most healthy things aren’t that indulgent. You and your sleep are important, so make a point of respecting the time to do it. Things like studying, work, or TV might seem better than sleep, but hold back if you can.

Working up to the ideal of a steady and consistent sleep schedule is made easier by having a nightly routine. Unplugging electronics, only being in low light, and doing the same things every night are a good start to this. Relaxation techniques are also a good start to this. However, there is something that might seem contrary to this idea: if you don’t fall asleep in a timely manner, don’t stay in bed. Get up and do a calming activity. Associating the bed only with sleep– and not tossing and turning– is important to keep that from being a detriment itself. This does not mean using your phone or similar.

Other elements of sleep hygiene include things proven to help sleep like daily sunlight exposure, exercise, and not eating to close to when you go to bed (especially things like spicy foods and sugar). Just don’t do these things in your bed because that can ultimately backfire as you might associate your bed with something other than sleeping, which is strongly what we are trying to avoid. Keeping your bed comfortable, your room cool, the lights out, and the sound to a minimum can make the environment easier to unwind in. Also cutting back on things that might have an adverse effect on your sleep. Things that are notable examples of sleep disruptors are caffeine, alcohol, and smoking. Some of this seems like a no-brainer, but it’s consistency and completeness that makes it. You’re under no obligation to change from something that makes you happy. However, if a small change can be made without undue stress, it might just be better in the long run. ✰✲Stay tuned for another post on dream symbolism tomorrow!✲✰

#Sleep #witchcraft #magic #witchy #school of roses #self care #sleep hygiene #take care of yourselves

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drgeorgeshamma · 5 days

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Unlocking Wellness: Top 10 Secrets for Lifelong Health

Achieving and maintaining good health doesn’t have to be complicated. In fact, simple, consistent actions can make significant differences in your overall well-being. Here are the top 10 secrets to unlocking a healthier, happier life for years to come.

Maintain a Balanced Diet A balanced diet rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins is fundamental to good health. Incorporate a variety of nutrients to support different body functions, reduce inflammation, and strengthen the immune system.

Stay Hydrated Water is essential for maintaining body function. It helps with digestion, absorption of nutrients, and the elimination of waste. Aim for at least 8 glasses a day, more if you are active or live in a hot climate.

Get Regular Exercise Exercise boosts your cardiovascular health, builds strength, and can improve your mood. Whether it's a daily walk, yoga, or weight training, find activities you enjoy and aim for at least 150 minutes of moderate activity per week.

Prioritize Sleep Sleep plays a critical role in healing and repair of your heart and blood vessels. Aim for 7-9 hours per night, and try to keep a consistent sleep schedule, even on weekends.

Manage Stress Chronic stress can take a toll on your body, leading to numerous health problems. Engage in stress-reducing activities such as meditation, deep breathing exercises, or hobbies that relax you.

Practice Preventative Care Regular check-ups and screenings can detect health problems before they start or early in their course when they are easiest to treat. Stay up to date with vaccinations and preventive tests.

Avoid Tobacco and Limit Alcohol Consumption Smoking and excessive alcohol consumption can harm your body in multiple ways. Quitting smoking and limiting alcohol intake are key steps in improving your health.

Foster Strong Relationships Social connections can help you live longer and combat stress. Spend quality time with family and friends, and consider joining groups that share your interests.

Cultivate Mental Wellness Mental health is as important as physical health. Practices like mindfulness, journaling, or therapy can improve your mental well-being and resilience.

Listen to Your Body Pay attention to signs and signals from your body, whether it's pain, tiredness, or stress. Responding to these cues and adjusting your lifestyle accordingly can prevent more serious issues.

As recommended by George Shamma, adopting these habits can dramatically improve your quality of life and lead to lasting wellness. Start incorporating these secrets into your daily routine, and unlock the door to a healthier you!

#health & fitness #healthcare #healthylifestyle

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louis-619 · 7 days

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Overcoming Stress

A self-care management system

First of all, welcome to this little predicament I have for you today. Are you stressed lately because of school or work? Are you stressed because of what’s happening to your family right now? Are you stressed because who doesn’t right? Well, you’re in luck because you’re just in the right place at the time. And hopefully you can reflect and we can help each other throughout this journey of my perspective about this topic.

What is stress really? According to WHO (Word Health Organization) “Stress can be defined as a state of worry or mental tension caused by a difficult situation. Stress is a natural human response that prompts us to address challenges and threats in our lives. Everyone experience stress to some degree. The way we respond to stress, however, makes a big difference to our overall well-being.” To some up this very difficult word, it just means ‘stress’ destroys a person. Weather he or she is healthy or throughout they’re living life, and it sucks. Think of it as a hose, tying a knot at the end of hose stresses the body of the hose and in some cases it explodes and can starts a more disastrous predicament. Same as to the person, it will not healthy at all both physically and mostly mentally.

But can you tell if you’re stressed out or not? Some people find themselves hard to relax, mood fluctuating (you might say that for women is normal because of the “Time of the month” but still no), people find it hard to concentrate in some area that they are really good at, body pains such as headache, upset stomach or having the trouble to sleep. This are just some of the causes but we have more. A lot more. We don’t respond to stress the same way as what is said. Everyone reacts and copes to stress very differently, it varies from person to person.

Me, myself and I cope sometimes different from others. If I get irritated, I can be very violent sometimes. What do I do when I get irritated you say? Drinking coffee, lots of coffee, sometimes I average from five to ten cups from morning to lunch. It’s better to be nervous than hurting yourself or hurting someone else. But other than that, I do a lot more things like playing games. Release your toxicity with someone who is more toxic than you on the internet. I recommend that ten out of ten, I know you’re an adult, you can cuss your way out of your stress. I also fix things, sometimes making you busy keeps your stress away and far far away from you. Make yourself useful and more productive. It’s to be make things when you’re thinking about something else deeper I know, but trust me, it helps like a lot. At least for me, but it can be you also.

You’re stressed, does that mean you cannot work? That is very debatable. Most of us people manages stress well and can continue to function. And if what I said above doesn’t work at any capacity, here is what you can do;

Learn stress management. A few minutes day to day, each day are enough to practise the self-help techniques. (Links will be provided).

Keeping a daily routine. This one quite tricky but manageable. Keeping a daily schedule can help you use your time efficiently and can feel more in control. Setting time for regular meals, and you can set how you can spend you time with your friends or family member, your exercise is also very important in making your routine, and you can also set your daily chores and some other things you wanna do in your everyday life.

Get plenty of sleep. Getting enough sleep is very much important for you both of you’re physical and mental health. Sleep repairs, replenishes, and relaxes your body. And what can you say, maybe you just need a lot of sleep to help you with your stress. But be sure to do this ones; Be consistent, be on your sleeping schedule each time and get up the same time each morning also, even in the weekends. If possible, make your sleeping area quiet, dark, relaxing and at a comfortable temperature. Limit your use of electronic devices before sleeping, such as smartphones, computer and other more devices you have in store. Avoid large meals, sadly caffeine also and alcohol before going to bed. And get some exercise, this will help you fall asleep easily at night.

Connect with others. Keeping in touch with your family and friends is also important. Talk with people you trust and someone who can help you feel less stressed.

This are just some tips I have for you. I hope this little tricks I bestowed for you can help you in your future life and well being.

#overcomeyourstress #stress #health

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thesafarimattresses · 2 years

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How To Get Quality Sleep During Stressful Times?

The past one decade has opened up umpteen career opportunities and with that we have unlocked new levels of stress. This has made us sit in poker faces with anxious thoughts on the dining table and with wide open eyes on our custom foam mattress at night. There is no iota of doubt that sleep gets most affected when you are stressed. And if not taken care of, things can get worse. So, what should be done if one is feeling too stressed and isn’t getting quality sleep? Today, Safari mattresses, the best custom mattress company of India brings to you ways to achieve quality sleep time during stressful times.

A sneak-peak into quality sleep

Woke up with an angry face? Do you feel irritated after waking up but don’t know what's the reason behind your mood? Well, maybe you ain’t having quality sleep at night. Quality sleep is defined as the satisfactory sleeping experience one has every night. As per experts, quality sleep has four components:

Efficiency

Latency

Duration of sleep’

Waking up after falling asleep.

Some experts also include other factors such as the age of the person, their Body Mass Index (BMI), the stage of dream sleep (also known as REM) etc. Apart from these physiological factors, environmental factors such as the temperature of the room you are sleeping in, your poor-quality custom foam mattress, your recent screen time etc. can play an important role in determining the quality of sleep for you.

Quality sleep comes with umpteen perks. Some of these include waking up with a happy face, having normal reflexes throughout the day, making relationships healthier and feeling good and rested on a whole. However, if one doesn’t have a quality sleep for a long time, the person eventually becomes cranky, feels irritated, there is a drop in their productivity and often leads to increase in the consumption of caffeine and alcohol by the person which has detrimental health effects. When we emphasize stress, it means our sleep is getting bothered by a psychological factor which also includes anxiety and depression.

Read More - Mattresses For Sale At Best Prices In India: Memory Foam Mattresses

Ways to get quality sleep during stressful times

There are various things you can do even during your packed schedule to achieve a quality sleep experience every night. Safari mattresses lays down certain ways in which you can do this:

Have a sleep schedule.

In our daily lives, we maintain a schedule for everything, be it your important office meeting to your special chia seeds smoothie intake. But we forget to maintain a sleep schedule. But it’s never too late to begin. For a consistent sleep, wake up at a particular time and hit the bed at a particular time. Initially, you will find it hard. But try to keep up with the schedule throughout a week including weekends, and eventually, it will become easier.

Change your mattress.

Believe it or not, your mattress plays a very important role in quality sleep. If you have a worn out mattress, it can be bad for your back or neck. And how can we forget the spliting headache that you get after waking up? Somewhere or the other the turning and tossing over the course of night on your poor-quality mattress is to be blamed. Wish to change your mattress? Well, order mattress online from Safari mattresses at the best mattress price online. Give yourself a quality sleep every night.

Practice mindfulness

Sometimes, practicing meditation can help you get rid of unbidden and anxious thoughts. It puts you in a state of tranquility and you sleep soundly. Try using some meditation apps or watch some YouTube videos on the same.

Reduce your screen time.

In this fast-paced world, we have surrounded ourselves with screens. Remember the last time when you had dinner wihtout scrolling through Instagram or had a family conversation without breaking for a Skype meeting? The use of screens has affected our sleep cycle to a great extent. Gadgets such as TVs, laptops and phones have screens that emit blue light. This blue light can break the momentum of your body’s internal clock and distrubs your sleep cycle. So, it you need to achieve quality sleep do not look into a screen before an hour of hitting the bed and after an hour of waking up.

Achieving quality sleep isn’t tough if you firmly practice these techniques. We’re here with you! Get your custom foam mattress via fast delivery from Safari mattresses now!

Source link- https://safarimattresses.com/how-to-get-quality-sleep-during-stressful-times/

#custom foam mattress #mattress price online

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offbrand-thor · 2 years

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I could see the end drawing near pretty quickly even back at the apartment. The fact it went so long after, I can’t tell if it was stupidity or desperation to keep things working - even a little bit. I lost a lot of sleep, tears and tore myself from the inside out trying to just figure out what went wrong, how could I have done better, etc. I was destroyed. I lost my best friend, and the second she left me she was blissfully happy. That should have been a wake up call too but I just let it hurt me more. When the dust settled and after I fell out of love it made me finally see things clearly.

I was working 45 hours a week, never a consistent schedule (sometimes working overnights) and going to nursing school for another 30 on the side. The job was managing a gym during the beginning of covid. Constant arguing with members about guidelines and restrictions, staff members abusing the covid testing policies to get off work for two weeks, losing staff members because policies changed every other day (which they did everywhere). When I got home it was straight to the computer to do homework. Then 12 hour clinical days during the week which made me have to work the weekend sometimes too. That’s all I did for MONTHS. So my life was literally at the most stressed point of my life. Then factor in my depression and anxiety on top of it all for a beautiful FUBAR sundae.

Where the things are now clear is I was just tired and worn down, obviously. That’s a lot for one person to handle for that length of time. All I wanted was support from my ex at the time and just a little help. Instead, I was degraded and doubted on my knowledge from nursing school. I was ignored from the time I got home to the time I went to bed. She was always just too busy on her iPad or watching tiktoks, would barely even look up from either when I got home for the day. It’s not that it got old, it just made me more and more sad.

The part that I know I should have done better on is not letting myself get snippy because I was irritated at all of the above factors. I felt alone, I unloved, unwanted, and honestly intensely suicidal. I was over it. I was tired of trying day after day and feeling like a failure. Hell, I was only 27, I wasn’t this full grown adult who had it all figured out. I learn as I go, the same as everyone else.

I did love her though, I loved that girl more than anything on this earth. Our little fur family we had meant the world to me and all I wanted was to keep getting better to provide more for them. That was what was in my sights. If I could make more money, all of them could be spoiled. So I tried, and I tried…and well I’m still succeeding. Just without her. And that’s how I’ll stay. I’ll never spend another night crying to myself that the person I love doesn’t love me back ever again, I’ll never sit there and wonder when the next time they’re going to leave me is. Eventually I’ll find someone that cares about me the same as I do them, and things will make sense again. I’m in no rush though, I’ll enjoy just doing me for now.

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starrystvdy · 2 years

Text

undergrad (physics/stem?) tips from a struggling neurodivergent

i’m finishing my degree this year so i thought i’d share some of the things i’ve painstakingly and slowly learnt over 4 years of studying physics at university. i started out by failing foundation mathematics, then all of my first year physics modules, but despite never having to go back and pass these basics (thanks covid) i’m somehow doing well in third year. so, here is my wisdom:

[disclaimer: of course, the way i study will definitely not work for everyone so only take the parts that resonate. this is not the healthiest way to study, but rather how i personally am getting through such a hardcore course with limited physical and mental energy.]

past exam papers. look for patterns and types of questions that are asked often, and focus on understanding those. if you’re lucky this could be all you need to get a great grade.

don’t worry about understanding whats going on in lectures. sitting in lectures and not knowing what the hell was going on used to stress me out to the point that i stopped going, but i found that actually, just turning up and calmly copying down the maths and notes without understanding them really helped me piece it all together later, on when studying on my own.

similarly, i find copying out the notes without trying too hard to understand them to be very helpful. it is very time consuming, but worth it when no information will sink in by just reading through the notes. even if you still don’t understand it all after writing it out, you now know what information is covered, where to find it, and you hopefully have it in a clearer, more interesting to look at format to help you later.

learn on your own terms. don’t listen to what any other people say about how you should study. you know what works for you. its always stressed here how important it is to go to lectures and tutorials, but i know that for me, a lot of the time my energy is better used by staying at home and teaching myself in a calm, comfortable, low pressure environment.

hyper-organisation. have as many planners as it takes to keep a grasp on time and schedules and deadlines. i have a bullet journal, a pre-made planner to scribble in, a planner and tables of dates and deadlines on notion, as well as sticky notes above my desk reminding me of the main things i should be working on at the moment. keep it all in front of you where you can see it, or make it easy to access.

create a nice environment. this is possibly the most important part. make it so that sitting down to work is enjoyable, and setting up doesn’t take valuable brain power. playlists of background music ready to go, everything you need nearby and organised and easy to access.

ask for adjustments, extensions, ECs. i’m still not good at this, but it can really make all the difference. when you can’t complete something in time or the thought of doing a thing alone makes you feel like dropping out, its always worth asking if something can be done to make it easier for you. (for instance i usually skip presentations and take the 0 but after asking, i have been allowed to make videos instead and sometimes even just make the powerpoint and write out a script.)

a consistent sleep schedule would be great, but don’t sweat if your class schedule makes it difficult. i work best at night, but lectures mean i have to wake up early in the morning. i have tried going to bed early and while that made waking up and going to classes easier, without my nighttime productivity i got way behind on everything. so instead i let my body do what it wants when it wants, which usually means sleeping less at night along with naps in the day and a lot of catch up sleep at the weekend.

caffeine can be your best friend or worst enemy. use it wisely. (i owe my second year grades to the ginger monster energy flavour)

know when to push and when to rest. sometimes you know its just executive dysfunction stopping you from getting things done, in which case gently push yourself to keep working. even if you don’t manage much, any amount of productivity is good. but on the other hand, if you keep trying and trying and its still not working, thats probably a sign you should stop. if you don’t make time for rest, your body will take it for you.

on that note, if you really can’t focus, stop to think about whats actually wrong. sit still, relax for a moment and zone in to yourself. is it because you’re hungry? cold? understimulated? do you not have all of the materials you need right in front of you? it could be something as simple as the lighting being off, or things being in the wrong place on your desk.

break it down. when i’m stuck, most often the problem is that i don’t clearly know what to do next. break tasks down into steps, and then break those down again until you have small tasks you can easily face. baby steps are the way to go.

something is always better than nothing! you don’t have to put your all into everything. if you’ve got 60% to give on an assignment, thats great. even 40%, 20%. handing in something bad and unfinished is still worth it, and sometimes all you need.

in short, just be gentle with yourself. go at your own pace and do things in the way that works for you. you’re doing your best. there will be ups and downs, but if you keep going, no matter how slowly, no matter how much it may seem like all is lost, you’ll get there eventually.

#t.txt #studyblr #physicsblr #stemblr #study tips #adhd study tips #actually autistic #actually adhd #university #spoonie studying #im making that a hashtag #t #mystuff #long post #oh god how did this get so long

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miekasa · 3 years

Text

random armin/mikasa/jean headcanons (college au)

↯ pairing: armin x (fem) reader, mikasa x (fem) reader, jean x (fem) reader

↯ genres and warnings: college au, fluff, lets see how many times i can mention eren in writing that has absolutely nothing to do with him

↯ notes: this.... probably won’t be a regular thing, i don’t know that i can consistently continue writing for them, but this sure was fun and reminded me that i actually have feelings for someone other than levi :// didn’t ask for that, but here we are

ARMIN ARLERT

Would most likely get pretty good grades, but he can definitely be lazy about it and hear me out.

If it’s a class that he likes and is genuinely interested in (which is the majority of them), he’s going to put in the work—sometimes too much work—to make sure he’s doing well. He usually studies very meticulously, and stays on top of his game throughout the semester.

But if it’s one of those bs classes the university makes you take, or some kind of stupid elective that was the only course that could fit into his schedule? Well, Armin is smart enough to bullshit his way through anything, so he’s not going to exert himself for a class he doesn’t even care about.

Oh, and he’s very vocal about complaining to you about said bullshit courses. (Completely justified, go off king).

“I swear sometimes the TA just lowers marks randomly to ‘keep the class average.’ Granted, I didn’t really study for the quiz, so I wasn’t expecting a stellar grade or anything, but I know they do that sometimes.” “Well, babe, why didn’t you study.” “Because I hate it, (Y/N).”

Like I said, takes school seriously and tries his best; but even he knows he doesn’t have to be at 100% all the time. It’s also kind of a flex how smart he is and how much he can get by on doing the absolute bare minimum.

Poor Connie is studying his ass off for their shared elective and Armin barely looked at the first page of the textbook, and he’ll probably get a 90 anyways.

Imagine he’s so caught up with his other classes, he actually forgets about a midterm for his stupid elective, and at first he’s freaking out, so you kind of have to remind him of who tf he is. You finally get him to relax and he blinks at you, “Oh right, I didn’t study because I didn’t have to haha nice.”

Helps you prepare for presentations by letting you practice them in front of him. Actually gives good feedback, but sometimes he’s just watching you and not really listening.

Sometimes, you have to be the one to remind him to take a step back and take care of himself, before his schoolwork. He doesn’t like to worry you, and likely feels guilty when he sees you walking up to him in the library at 2am; so he won’t fight you on it, and just lets you help him pack up all his stuff and head home for the day.

Likes head massages. Maybe sometimes has faked a little bit of a headache to get you to massage his head and play with his hair. He’ll never tell.

If you rub his cheek while he’s laying on top of you, he will knock out like a baby. Almost immediately. It’s a surefire way to get him to go to sleep.

Schedules dates with you, and plans them out meticulously. Sometimes gets playful and sends you a whole ass e-vite.

“Armin, why do I have an email invitation for our date to the library?” “So that you don’t forget, of course.” “How could I forget, it’s later today, and you’re literally helping me study for my midterm.” “With popcorn!”

Probably the type to get a job on campus. You and your friends come to visit him when he’s on shift and annoy him. He secretly likes it.

Oh, he’s kind of shady. Scratch that, can be very shady. He complains about school to you, but also just complains to you in general; he doesn’t outwardly do that a lot, but you’re his confidant.

Sometimes you get surprised and call him out on it and you’re like “Oh my god, Armin, the poor girl didn’t mean to mess up the project,” and he’s like “Well. Sometimes people are idiots and it has to be said.”

Has a bad habit of rolling his eyes and he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it. “Did you just roll your eyes at me.” “I don’t know, did I?” Bye.

His hands are always covered in some kind of ink/markings. Accidental brushes of his pens, streaks from his highlighters or markers, a little bit of lead from his pencil along the side of his palm.

Speaking of which, he strikes me as the kind of guy to keep a bullet journal. Not necessarily decked out and fancy with Polaroids and extravagant fonts; but definitely neat, and decorated to some extent, depending on how he’s feeling. It makes him feel organized.

He would pencil in important dates and markers of your relationship into said journal. “Friday night: museum date—remember to buy the tickets in advance.”

If anyone is going to buy, wash, peel, and cut up fruit for you, it’s going to be Armin.

Lowkey tutoring all of his friends, and might be the sole reason that Connie hasn’t dropped out yet. He likes tutoring you the most, though.

Get this, sometimes he asks you to tutor him, even if he knows damn well he doesn’t need it. Maybe he’ll even sign up for a stupid elective if it’s a class you’ve taken before, just to have an excuse to get you to teach him something.

Likes trying new things with you. He might not always like the new things that you try, but he’s open to trying them at least once. Well… most things anyways. Just don’t ask him to get up at dawn and go jogging with you.

I genuinely cannot tell if he would be a morning person or not. Maybe mid-morning. Probably not a rise-and-shine at 6am kind of guy, but is up by at least 10:00am every day. Very cute when he’s groggy though, and stumbles around a bit like a baby deer when he first gets up, especially if he’s hungry.

He likes to bike. And really likes when you go on bike rides with him. As long as you both are on your own bikes, you learned the hard way that tandem biking isn’t cut out for you.

Knows that all-nighters aren’t good for you, but sometimes you have to pull them anyways. If you both have a lot to get done, he’ll stay up with you and make sure you both take breaks and drink water.

Can twirl his pens in that really fast and fancy way, and can do the thing where he rolls it between all his fingers too. I’ll let you think bout the implications of that for yourself.

He likes watching cartoons, and reels you into all his favorites. Definitely likes to stay in on weekends watching cartoons with you and just chilling.

Will go to a party with you if you ask, or if his friends are hosting, but nothing beyond that. You didn’t hear this from me, but he’d probably like to smoke more than drink.

Sometimes you think he needs a break and you commission Eren to take him out for the night, but Armin still comes back looking more composed than him. A little sleepy and maybe a bit out of it, but not sloshed, much to your disappointment. “Eren, you really couldn’t have tried to be more a bad influence?? I was counting on you!!”

Eren’s confused, like, “Did you want me to get him white boy wasted??” “Yeah, kinda!! It’s what he deserves every once in a while. Ugh, next time I’m calling in Sasha, she knows how to drink.”

By the way, if you’re dating Armin, you’re kind of dating (or at least babysitting) Eren too. Or vice versa. Either way, they will also go on dates without you. (“Hanging out. We’re hanging out, and I’m tutoring him so he doesn’t fail Biology, (Y/N).” “Likely story, ocean eyes.”)

Can be touchy in a very absentminded way. He’ll reach out to play with your ears/earrings, habitually rub at your shoulders if you’re standing in front of him, mindlessly toy with the ends of your clothing. Half the time he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it, he’s so cute.

Plays one sport—is on the soccer team. It keeps him busy, and forces him to focus on something that isn’t academics once in a while. He’s pretty good at it, too; he and Eren make a good team when they play together.

You and Eren tried to get him to join the baseball team too. Eren, because he likes playing with Armin. You, because, well… the uniforms. He would look so good in the uniform.

MIKASA ACKERMAN

Makes her classes look like a breeze, even though it’s at least 300 pages of reading and writing per week.

Kind of gives me Elle Woods “What, like it’s hard?” kind of vibes when it comes to schoolwork. You’re in awe of how she just did 75 pages of reading with a tiny ass font in one sitting, and she just blinks at you like “Was it supposed to be difficult?”

Speaking of which, she likes to read in general; for leisure, outside of her school work. She’ll recommend you books, too. If you don’t like to read, she’ll still try and rope you in with shorter stories, or just read them aloud to you herself.

Sits at a table across from you while you both do your schoolwork independently. It doesn’t sound like much, but it’s a quiet, almost implicit sense of intimacy that she really likes.

Bundles you up when it’s cold, and won’t take no for an answer. You will wear a hat, whether you like it or not.

Always prepared—and by that I mean, she carries things on her that she realizes you might need. Tissues, extra pens, an extra pair of mittens. She strikes me as the kind of person to pay attention to details like those.

Likes to walk you to class, even if her class is very far away from your building. She doesn’t mind.

On that note, she knows your schedule pretty well, where it pertains to classes and personal interests.

If you’re the type of person who can slack off or even just get caught up in other things when it comes to school work, she’ll be there to keep you on track and hold you accountable. Usually through setting aside times to study with you, but can even be through small things like asking you how your assignment is going.

(Nevermind that you completely forgot about the assignment, and hadn’t even started it—but that’s the point; she knew that).

Hear me out: holding pinkies. Maybe not when you’re walking, but when you’re seated next to each other. The longer you’re together, the more likely she is to initiate it, too.

Would rather study at home/in her apartment than in the library, but if you like to study there, she can compromise a few days out of the week.

Makes you playlists, and they’re usually really good, because she knows you so well. Sometimes she gets cute and customizes the cover art to a picture of the both of you.

She’s your ride or die, so if you complain to her about a prof you don’t like or a TA you don’t think is fair she’s 100% on your side. She might not always be able to do anything about it, but she’ll definitely let you complain to her.

Texts you throughout the day to check up on you, but usually disguised through other questions. Asks what you want/had for lunch when she’s really checking to make sure you ate. Asks you what time your lectures end, just to make sure you didn’t skip it (again). Asks you what time you’re going to be done studying to make sure you don’t stay up all night cramming again.

Takes a genuine interest in your courses, and absolutely loves to listen to you talk about them.

If your classes are vastly different, she’ll still try and help you however she can, even if it’s only in small ways, like proofreading something for you.

Doesn’t use emojis alot, so your contact doesn’t have a bunch of hearts next your name on anything. But she does put your last name in as Ackerman.

Has social media, but mostly uses it to keep up with her friends, and you. You’re in most of the few pictures that she does post, and she might not say it, but she really likes it when you post photos of/with her.

Not sure why, but I think she’d be a pretty decent artist if she tried. That trend of doing glass paintings on TikTok? I think she’d be into that, and would plan out the whole thing as a date with you.

Keeps up with all your favorite shows to talk about or watch them with you. Sometimes she’ll purposely miss a few episodes so that she can spend the night and marathon them with you.

Likes to stay in and drink cheap wine and just watch or talk about whatever with you. You could watch a terrible show just to laugh and comment on it the entire time and she would be so happy.

Doesn’t like to sit down on public transportation, and honestly would rather you didn’t either, but she’s not going to stop you from taking a seat. If you’re sitting, she’ll stand in front of/over you, and always keeps wire headphones long enough for you to share music that way.

The most insufferable human when she’s sick and she knows it. She hates being sick. And she knows you shouldn’t be around her or else you might get sick but she also just wants you to hold her. (You do).

Likes to sleepover at your place. Talks with you about your day while you lay down. Always smells good. Very cuddly when sleepy. 10/10.

Hates the act of doing her laundry, but likes doing it with you. Lowkey starts buying and using the same detergent and fabric softener as you because it makes her smell like you.

Gets very embarrassed if you kiss her in public. Very red in the cheeks, it’s kind of cute, so I wouldn’t blame you if you did it on purpose.

JEAN KIRSTEIN

Jean is… quite smart, if you ask me. Or, at the very least, analytical, which can be applied to a variety of academic settings.

The only thing is, he’s incredibly lazy about it. He wants to do well in school, and can definitely pull himself together for a midterm or an exam; but is horrible at keeping pace with all his other work and assignments on a regular basis.

He also can’t sit still, which is why even though he is very kind and chivalrous and brings many snacks to your study sessions, he is also competing for number one worst study partner. Right next to Eren and Sasha.

Gets pouty when you tell him you don’t want to study with him. “But… but… but I brought snacks! And bubble tea!” “Yes, but you also have the attention span of a rabbit, Jean.”

At the end of the day he understands… that doesn’t mean he’s not going to be bitter about it LOLOL. It’s fine, you can make it up to him by hanging out with him afterwards.

Is, like, classically trained in at least two instruments because his mom put him in lessons as a child. He used to hate it growing up, and he doesn’t practice much now, so he never talks about it.

One day you happen to mention something about comparing two songs, telling him they remind you of each other but you don’t know exactly why or why, and very nonchalantly he’s like, “They sound similar because they share the same major chord in the chorus, and they’re in the same key.”

And you just kind of blink at him like, “Okay, Beethoven. How. How did you know that.”

Once you realize he can, like, actually play the piano and violin really well you’re always begging him to play for you. It doesn’t happen often—it’s not like he owns a violin anymore and he certainly doesn’t have a grand piano in his shitty college apartment—but sometimes you sneak into the music room when it’s empty and he’ll play something for you.

He’s a romantic at heart, so he doesn’t mind, and if anything kind of enjoys you watching him play. It’s much better than playing for random parents in a recital. You’re dead if you ever mention it to any of his friends though.

Also not a frat boy, but definitely likes to party. Everything with reason. If he crushed a midterm on Thursday, he deserves to throw back a few beers on Friday night, you know?

Touchy when he’s drunk. Well, touchier than normal; he’d be the most affectionate out of every one on a regular basis. But he’s touchy and messy when he’s drunk, so he’s all over you.

Messy, but happy. All smiles and giggles and red cheeks, with his arm around your shoulder, boasting you anybody who will listen about his super hot girlfriend.

He and Eren throw the best parties when they team up together. (Only slightly related, but those two, when drunk together, could probably pass as a couple; they’re so uncharacteristically happy, and affectionate. You may or may not be keeping some photo and video evidence of Eren and Jean drunk cuddling).

Sends you videos when you’re in the middle of class. And only then. He plans it to be annoying. Because he is annoying.

Also always sending you those in-messsage games while you’re in the middle of lecture or studying. “PLEASE play virtual pool with me!! I’ll even let you win one round!!” “I AM TRYING TO LEARN!!” “LEARN LATER 😡😡😡”

A fucking fiend in your Instagram comments. It’s a miracle none of them have been removed or reported for inappropriate content. Replies to OTHER people’s comments complimenting YOU!! He’s so much

@sashabraus: aww you look so cute @youruser!! that color looks so good on you 💕 @jeannotjean: omg omg tysm @sashabraus 😊 i picked it myself @youruser: SHE WAS TALKING TO ME @jeannotjean!!! ME!!! @jeannotjean: @youruser you have no proof 🙄 @youruser: SHE USED MY @!!!! GET OUT OF MY COMMENTS!!! @jeannotjean: you’re so hot when you yell at me via insta comments 🥵🥵🥵 would it be better if i slid into your dm’s instead 😫😫😉 @youruser: @jeannotjean BLOCKED!! EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY!!

You try explaining your coursework to him and he’s just looking at you with puppy dog eyes like, “I haven’t a clue what you’re talking about, babe, but you look hot while doing it, so, please, continue.”

He’s another cocky annoying bastard (endearing). Always tilting you head up to look at him and smirk at you. Pisses you off just to put his arm around your shoulder and be like, “It’s okay, I know you love me anyways.” Winks at you in public just to embarrass you. He’s the worst. The worst.

King of picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder for absolutely no reason at all.

He lowkey wants to get an ear piercing and uses you to talk him into it. “Don’t you think I’d look hot with a piercing? I think I would.” “You would look good regardless, Jean. So, do it if you want to.” “Right. But, like.... do you think I would look hot.”

For as annoying and cocky as he can be, the second you actually genuinely tell him you think he’s attractive or talented or whatever, he gets kind of shy. It’s very cute.

Likes trying new restaurants with you, even though he really should stop spending all his money on food. Sometimes trying new restaurants means ordering from a new place, but it’s whatever, you know.

Honestly… the two of you would probably have a ridiculously high Uber Eats bill. You really should go outside and, like, be people every once in a while LOLOL

Okay, but it’s mostly Jean’s fault. For as much as he likes to party, and doesn’t mind hosting a party, he doesn’t do much beyond that. He hangs out with his/your friends, and with you, obviously, but he’s not the kind of guy to have his weekend booked up all the time.

He would much rather stay in with you, and talk trash about his stupid group project partners, and lay on your stomach and try to teach you how to play his favorite video games.

Spoiler: he fucking lies and/or leaves out key parts of the gameplay!! Just so he can crush you and laugh about it!! Annoying, but you’re the one keeping him around, so, who can you really blame but yourself.

#aot x reader #snk x reader #armin x reader #jean x reader #mikasa x reader #aot imagines #snk imagines #armin smut #armin fluff #aot jean #eren x reader

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be-ready-when-i-say-go · 3 years

Note

Something hoochie with Luke and working on his solo album

Taking limited requests. 4 slots left.

Hoochie, but make it soft. So soft. CW: NSFW 18+ Content.

______________________________________

Dealing with things positively sucked and Luke was sure that his plan previously to keep living, keep burying was the best for him. But there was progress--and he couldn't deny that. He could actually talk to you about things. The wall that made it seem like it was always going to be on an emotional island or emotional hell was cracking and it felt good.

But it fucking hurt--to realize so many mistakes he made. Knowing that's not the kind of person he wanted to be, not anymore. And right now, he fucked up. You asked him to help you clean the kitchen taking the trash out and help you clean the top of the cabinets. Easy work really in the grand scheme of it all. If it had just buckled up and got fucking down to it, he would be done already.

But the house is way too silent. At first he doesn't hear it due to the guitars and keys in his ears, but in his pause and stretch in the computer chair, he realizes in fact the house is too quiet. When he looks up to the time in the right hand corner of his laptop, his jaw drops. He asked for five more minutes before helping you. And you agreed--because five minutes was reasonable. But not this. This was far from reasonable.

"Holy fuck," he mutters, spinning around in his chair. "Babe, I'm so sorry," he shouts, only realizing the door is closed and most likely keeping his voice from carrying outside of the makeshift studio. "Babe!" he calls again, taking the hallway in a half job.

How had an hour passed? One moment he was just importing tracks, fully intending to stop there and but then he wanted to check them to make sure the takes were as clean as he could get them before cutting anything else together.

When he skids to a halt in the kitchen, you're at the table, a plate of crumbs in front of you. "I know I asked for five minutes and then I totally spaced. And it's not an excuse. I should have set a timer. I'm very sorry," Luke says, approaching slowly from your left.

"I'm trying hard not to blow my top, Luke. I just--I agreed to the five minutes because that was reasonable. I figured I could do something else in that time until you were ready. And then I tried to knock and call your name. And you didn't answer."

"My headphones were on. But really, I should've set an alarm. I can help now. Do you still need help?"

You shake your head. "No, I finished it up."

"Baby, that's not safe. If you had of fallen--"

"I didn't fall," you interrupt, staring into the glass in front of you. The water glistens in the sun and for a moment you hate it. Hate how pretty it is, how much it doesn't care given all the shit you're going through right now. And you know it's not right to blame sunlight and water. And you're trying not to blame Luke. You're trying not to make him into the villian.

Luke doesn't like how sad your voice is. "Let's talk about it?" He walks around the table and settles across from you. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I just--" you start and then stop. "I feel like this has been happening a lot. And I don't want to feel like I'm being neglected."

He never meant to make you feel that way. But just because he hadn't wanted to, didn't mean he hadn't. "I'm very sorry I've made you feel that way. I know I need to do better. Do you think you have that kind of capacity? To give me time to get better?" The language is awkward on his tongue but his therapist says not making assumptions and using language that gives others choice is going to serve best. So he's careful as he speaks to make sure he's not making any assumptions on your behalf.

You sigh, but nod. "I do. I think that maybe putting household stuff on a schedule can help?"

Luke nods. "I like that idea. It would force me to track of time too." The silence envelopes the two of you and you look up to his face. Luke looks pensive, as if trying to decipher something.

"Is-is there something else you want to say?"

Luke blinks, turning his icy blue eyes back to you. "Not right now. But when I get the right words later, I'll let you know."

You nod, picking up your plate and taking it to the sink. Luke's voice floats up from behind you. "Do you need help with anything else?"

"No, I think I'm going to take a nap."

Luke hums, to let you know he's heard you. And when you shuffle just over to the couch, Luke walks back to the sink, washing the plate and a few sparse cups left by the two of you.

You curl up around Petunia and drifting into sleep isn't hard. Luke watches your breathing slow and become steady. He keeps his distance in the kitchen, watching you from the table. If you already finished cleaning the kitchen, he wonders if cleaning the bathrooms were next on your list.

Yeah, he can do that. Clean the bathrooms, and do the laundry. And once that's done if you're awake, he'll draw you a bath. First he checks to see if your favorite sweets are in the pantry. If they aren't he'll go out and get them and a few other grocery. But you're well stocked. So he careful goes down the hallway, grabbing all the cleaning supplies.

Luke's careful to shut the door to the bathroom so the running water doesn't wake you. He sprays down the tub and walls and let's it sit for moment as he clears off the counters and the top of the toilet cover. Once those are clear and cleaned he turns his attention back to the tub. With that clean he wipes down the mirror and lines the inside of the toilet with cleaner.

It gets a little stuffy, so he cracks the door just a smidge. His har flops in his face, and he pushes it back with the back of his hands. He can't keep letting this kind of stuff happen. Maybe Mondays are kitchen days. A way to reset after the weekend. Then Tuesdays could be laundry. Or maybe Tuesday's can be bathroom days and then Wednesdays can be laundry.

Done with the the first bathroom, he carries his supplies to the master bathroom.

Something about laundry on Wednesdays feels better to Luke. Right now it's being done on as needed basis, and there wasn't anything wrong is that. But he felt like sometimes because of this he was constantly running the bottom of the barrel for his own clothes. So doing it more consistently would help him with that.

Luke finishes the master bathroom quicker than he anticipated and then heads to the half bath and cleans that quickly. By the time he's done his shirt is just starting to cling to him. He feels off the gloves, puts all the buckets and cleaners back up. You still sleep peacefully on the couch and Luke grabs the laundry pins from the closet--both yours and his.

While laundry wasn't always Luke's favorite, mostly because separating out the delicates, darks, and lights, made his head hurt, he threw together a little chart that you got lamented and hang up in the laundry room to help whenever he's not sure. And it feels stupid sometimes, but at this point it's just about making sure that he can do things done, no matter how they get there.

Luke runs the light colors first with only a handful of delicates. The darks is a larger pile, but he's worried if he runs them first something will get left behind and stain.

By the time he gets lights out of the dryer and starts to transfer over the darks into the machine, you knock on the door modeling. Luke smiles as he looks up, letting the few things in his hand, drop into the dryer. "How was your nap?"

"It was good." You spy the basket full of light colored clothes and go to pick it up but Luke's vocalizations to get you to drop the basket stop you.

"I got it. How about I draw you a bath once I get all these into the dryer?"

"Luke, you don't have to."

"But I want to," he counters, head dropping to make sure the shirt in his hands can go into the dryer. It can't so he drapes it onto the pile on the side of other things that need to get hung up to dry.

"Will you join me?" you ask, hiking up the basket in his distraction.

"If you'd like."

"I would."

When Luke turns, he sees the basket in your hands. "Hey, I told you I was going to do that."

"Well if you're joining me in a bath, you're going to need help folding clothes."

For a moment, he glares at you, but when you don't back down he hiccups out a laugh. "Fine, I guess."

*****

The water's warm as you step into it, Luke's already submerged, pressed up against the back wall. You settle between his legs and let the bubbles lap up against your chest. Luke encases your waist once you're under the water with his arms. The bubbles smell like lavender as the scent softly creeps up your nose.

There's not many words. Not even as Luke kisses across your shoulder and his fingers skate across the skin of your side. You sigh at the feeling and sink further into him. "I'm sorry again," he whispers against your ear.

"I accept your apology," you return just as quiet. "We'll just have to figure something out. Like we always do."

Luke smiles for a moment. Like we always do. Because you two always do. You manage to work things out and come out better. He just wished it wasn't always something to fix. he wished that he could get it together without it falling apart. It felt like a leaky boat sometimes, just scoping out enough water to keep afloat.

He just barely catches the feel of your hands running over his thighs and he shivers. And it's just stillness for a moment, maybe even two. But you stretch up and turn just a hair to kiss him. And Luke lets himself go into the kiss. His hands wander your body, gripping at the flesh and it's just enough pressure to make you moan, just enough of squeeze to make you give into the tingly that runs down your spine.

The water sloshes just a little as you spin all the way around, climbing onto his lap. You're thankful for such a large bathtub right now as your arms wind around his neck and you find his lips again in a kiss. It's slow, not rushed in any sense, but still dizzying. You pull away from Luke and he chases you down.

A giggle falls from your lips. "Thank you," you whisper. "For doing this. But for also working hard to make this relationship work."

Luke should be used to the patience, to the gratitude. But it still blows him away everytime you are firm, but willing to help. "Thank you. For, like, literally everything."

You two share another kiss, deeper than the last and you ever so gently rock against Luke's length. Luke groans into the kiss. "Please," he says so softly against your neck, his lips barely closing around your skin to give you kisses.

"Hmm," you start with a devilish grin crossing your lips. "Please, what? I need words."

His fingers dig into your hips and the air's leaving his lungs at the feeling of you against him. With a firm grip onto his hair, you tilt his head back. His eyes are blown but he smiles at you. "Of course you need words," he finally responds.

You quirk an eyebrow--a warning. But Luke's never needed more than that to get back in line.

"Please fuck me," he finally returns.

"That's more like it," you smile and seal his lips in a kiss briefly. "I'm more than happy too."

#luke hemmings #luke hemmings blurb #luke hemmings smut #luke hemmings imagine #luke hemmings fluff #luke hemmings 5sos #5sos #h writes #5sos fanfic #luke hemmings fanfic #luke hemmings fic #5sos smut #5sos fic #5sso blurb #5sos imagine

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hold-my-hand-kuroo · 4 years

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hugs + inarizaki

headcanons for the miya twins, ojiro, kita, and suna

a peace offering because i absolutely will not be active for this week and the next uwu ❤️

miya atsumu

Being playful and teasing, Atsumu loves giving you surprise hugs. Whether if it’s behind the back tackles or just picking you up and swinging you around like it’s nothing, nothing gives this man more joy than making you yelp and squeal.

Hugs with Atsumu are lively and almost never a quiet and boring time. Whenever he comes home from a work-out or practice sweating bullets, he’ll find you and scoop you into his arms all while you’re squealing and protesting. He secretly uses this as an excuse to get you in the bath with him after.

“You’re getting your sweat all over me-”

“I guess we both have to shower now. Damn, that sucks.”

On the weekends when Atsumu can sleep in, he likes to keep you in bed with him for a painfully long time. He knows you’re awake, and so is he, but nothing makes him happier than clinging onto your middle as you’re squirming to go to the bathroom.

Sometimes when he notices that you’ve had a bad day, his hands will wander to your sides mid-hug, and he’ll tickle you until your giggles fill the room.

He’ll never end the day without a proper cuddle, though. He likes having you in his arms while he’s watching plays or a TV show with you resting your head on his shoulder or chest. Once in a while, he’ll lean down to give you a few kisses on the cheek, but the moment you return the favor, he’s instantly distracted and turns whatever he’s watching off.

miya osamu

He’ll never express it to you directly, but Osamu’s heart flutters every time you hug him from the back while he’s cooking, especially during slow mornings where neither of you are in a rush to go anywhere. Just slip your arms around his waist while he’s scrambling eggs, and you’ve won his entire being over.

He finds it endearing if you don’t let go as he moves around the kitchen, just waddling behind him and trying to follow. Oftentimes, he’ll feel playful about this and tries to move around quickly to see if you can keep up. His soft chuckle gives him away though.

This works in reverse too if you happen to be the one that’s cooking. He’ll rest his chin on your shoulder to peek at what you’re doing. Humor him by acting confused, so that he’ll reach over and help you. He knows you’re joking, but he’s still more than eager to cook with you, since it’s really the best of two worlds for him.

Unlike his brother, his hugs are very much calm and relaxed. He’s the type to hug just for the sake of hugging and for physical contact rather than teasing you for the most part. When the two of you are in bed together, he likes wrapping his arms around your waist with your back pressed into his chest. There’s something about smelling your hair that’s so calm to him. Plus, it’s easier to whisper into your ear like that.

He knows it’s unhealthy, but Osamu lives for midnight snack sessions with you. There’s something so therapeutic about you feeding him chips in his lap with his arms tightly around your waist. If he he’s having a bad day, this is a sure-fire way to cheer him up.

ojiro aran

Aran’s the type who sees hugs as a type of liberation, but even though he likes giving and receiving them a lot, he’ll always ask for permission first. No matter how long the two of you have been together, he needs the affirmation that you’re comfortable with him touching you before doing anything at all.

He’s also scared that he might come off as too clingy when he’s hugging you for a while, but if you continue stay in his arms even after his grip has loosened, it makes him feel so warm and appreciative of your affection.

He’s not the type of person to enjoy messing around given his exasperation whenever either of the Miya twins open their mouths, so cuddling time is soft and peaceful. He’ll ask you about your day always before talking about his own, but he’s not against complete silence either. He likes listening to you breathe, and if you end up falling asleep, he’s over the moon. Seeing that you can become comfortable and relaxed around him to the point of just dozing off is literally his favorite sight.

Despite enjoying peaceful moments, he’s not entirely opposed to banter, especially if you incorporate things you’ve memorized about him into it. For example, if you end up teasing him about how his favorite food is Ritz Crackers, he’s not focused on your teasing but rather the fact that you bothered to remember his favorite food.

He’s a little bit of a hoarder too, so cuddling sessions are warm and comfy. He has a multitude of blankets and pillows in his home that he should’ve tossed out ages ago, but if you happen to like them, he’ll wash them properly and put them to proper use. He’s comfortable whenever you’re around, but he wants to guarantee that you feel the same way too.

kita shinsuke

Kita is a man of habit and routine; therefore, he’s up at dawn right when the sun rises and back home from work when the sun sets completely. During both these times, he also has a few minutes scheduled in for a ‘good bye’ hug and kiss and a ‘welcome home’ hug and kiss from you. His day doesn’t start until he gets to wrap his arms around you for a brief moment, and his day of work never feels like it has ended until you greet him at the door with your arms open. It’s like clockwork.

He’s always very busy, even during the weekends, but he always keeps a close eye on you to see how you’re holding up. Like Aran, he always asks for permission before hugging you, and during the rare instances where he does have some free time, he likes to indulge a little bit longer in your embrace.

Kita’s ideal type of date night is cooking a hearty meal with you and then having you sit in his arms outside while enjoying the brisk night air. He likes it when you run your fingers through his hair, but he even likes it more when you let him press soft kisses all over your hand and face. He says he does only does what he has to do, but for you, he’s willing to go the extra miles to keep you happy. He’s very much an overachiever when it comes to your affections and you.

He’s not really sure why he finds your hugs and hugging you so addictive. Sometimes, under the blazing heat of the sun, he thinks about how it’d be so much better if the two of you were in each other’s arms inside the house even though he’s sweating bullets, and he finds the idea ridiculously amusing. He thinks it might be because of the hugs his grandma gave him as a child and how he always felt safe and content in her arms. He wants to give you the very best, and in his mind, a safe haven where you can smile and relax completely is the best he can offer.

suna rintarou

Like Atsumu, Rintarou’s very much a tease, but he’s sly and more consistent about it. Rather than being energetic about it, Suna’s all about lazy hugs. Whenever it’s late at night, he’ll casually pull you into his arms and bury his head into your neck, and if he isn’t too tired, he’ll breathe the lightest breaths against your ear just to tickle you.

He enjoys doing the smallest things just to fluster you, so if you feel his hands start to wander very, very slowly, it’s probably him waiting for a reaction from you. He’ll stop and sigh if you don’t give him a reaction, and he’ll probably pout in your arms for a while before thinking of some other way to provoke you.

His signature hug is lazily putting his arms over your shoulders or around your middle with his head resting on the top of your head or on your shoulders. He does this honestly whenever, especially when the two of you are home, and you’re just walking around.

He never expresses it verbally, but this is his way of expressing that he’s feeling a little needy, neglected, or touch-starved. Doing it once or twice briefly is just him trying to make doing laundry a harder time for you, but if he continues to let you drag him around the house, take a quick break to give him kisses. He’ll act as if he never asked for them, but he just likes being spoiled.

That doesn’t mean that he never gives though! He’s a man who empathizes with those who feel exhausted after being annoyed by others, so if you come home all gloomy and depressed, he’ll have you lie down with him either on the couch or on the bed with on arm stroking your head and the other rubbing circles on your back. He’ll proceed to let you vent and will roast whoever gave you a hard time into oblivion.

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peralta-guaranteed · 3 years

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any hcs/ficlets of runner amy? and jake included ofc :)

- she mostly runs on weekends / her days off now, because her schedule really doesn’t allow early morning runs anymore if she wants to spend as much time with Mac as she can before work. Jake used to moan about her sneaking out of bed at ungodly hours to go for a run so he’s more than happy about the change. She still manages a good 2-3 runs per week though to stay in shape, and still does them early in the morning so she can have as much time as possible with her boys.

- she is NOT joking about that half-marathon at all and has a training plan for it, and even though Jake will forever refuse to run with her, he’s not above learning her training plan so he can be ‘coach’

- which mostly consists of sneaking out with a sleepy Mac once she’s gone and waiting for her on the ‘finish line’ of the park with some water and a very cheerful, bundled up toddler in his arms who doesn’t mind Mama being all smelly and sweaty when she hugs him

- she does start to expect that ‘surprise’ after like.. the third time they do it 🤣 and Jake needs to get creative to get that surprised-sweet Amy face he craves. So at some point while she runs she hears a bell behind her and it’s her two boys swooshing past on a bike Jake has bought for only that (because he’s not insane enough to ride a bike with a toddler-seat in Brooklyn, he hasn’t got a deathwish). At first they taunt her by riding circles around her and jetting ahead, but a few times on Jake has learned how to keep pace with her so she gets a constant boost from the little cheerleader in the backseat cheering her on

- sometimes they do ride ahead again and wait for her at her breakpoints instead, and Mac gets even louder cheering her on when she reaches them, spooking up some still sleeping ducks. She kind of wants to shush him because it’s far too early in the park for that kind of noise, but all the other runners passing them are obviously loving it and at some point he starts cheering on anyone who jogs past and they always seem to speed up a little

- they always walk home together and Amy steals Jake’s hoodie because when you’re not actively running, a sports outfit tends to get pretty dang cold in New York. So she’ll also jump straight into the shower to get rid of her sweat and heat up again at the same time, and on the odd occasion that Mac has fallen back asleep or is content to play alone in his playpen Jake joins her 😘

- (he also usually helps her peel out of that sports outfit simply because it is very tight and very annoying to take off. There’s no other reason, obviously.)

#b99 #brooklyn 99 #jake peralta #amy santiago #peraltiago #headcanons #mac peralta #maya peralta

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missmentelle · 4 years

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How do I know if I'm burnt out and what are signs of being burnt out? In relation to both university and work?

Unfortunately, burnout is a very common problem among both university students and people in high-stress jobs. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term, “burnout” is effectively where people reach a breaking point after being in a high-stress occupation (like a demanding academic program or a high-pressure career) for too long. Being “burnt out” is not an official diagnosis, and you won’t find it in the ICD-11 or the DSM-V. But it’s something that an increasing number of people are experiencing every year.

Not everyone is at equal risk of experiencing burnout - many students and workers never really deal with this. Factors that put you at high risk of burnout include:

Having poor work-life balance. If you spend huge portions of your time working - working through weekends, doing tons of overtime, working late, not taking vacation, working through lunch - you are at high risk of burnout. Humans need rest, relaxation, hobbies and time with friends, and when you sacrifice those things for work, it will eventually take a toll.

Having very little control over your day-to-day tasks. No one has perfect control over their daily work tasks - not even the self-employed - but having some element of control is important. If you have a say in things like when to schedule meetings, when to book client appointments and which task you are going to work on when, you have a lower risk of burnout than someone whose tasks tend to just be dictated to them.

Having perfectionist traits or holding yourself to very high standards. People who experience burnout tend to be overachievers. They constantly try to go above and beyond because they put immense pressure on themselves to do their best work at all times. If you’re the kind of person who beats yourself up over getting an A- instead of an A and makes a point to be the last one out of the office every day, you are at risk of burnout.

Having a dysfunctional work or school environment. Is your workplace plagued with bullies and office gossip? Do your lab members take pleasure in ripping each other’s research and writing to shreds, without really being constructive about it? Does your boss take their bad moods out on the rest of the office, even when you haven’t done anything wrong? A dysfunctional workplace creates burned-out employees.

Having unclear instructions or directions. It is extremely difficult to be in a work environment where you are expected to do be productive, but you aren’t given clear expectations, a clear list of tasks or instructions for how those tasks should actually be performed. It leaves you constantly feeling like your work isn’t good enough and isn’t done properly, without actually giving you a route to improve; you often end up working twice as hard to get half as much done, which is a recipe for burnout.

Working in a helping profession. Nurses, social workers, therapists, paramedics, psychologists, caregivers and caseworkers have some of the highest burnout rates of any profession. These jobs often combine long hours and low pay with incredibly stressful work environments, and burnout is a huge problem.

Burnout is more than just feeling tired or bored of what you do. It’s a state of complete and total exhaustion. Putting more energy into your job isn’t possible when you reach that point - you have nothing left to give. “Burnout” isn’t an official diagnosis, but it is a fitting description - trying to push through burnout is like trying to re-light a candle that has already burned all the way down to the bottom. It’s just not going to happen.

Some signs that you’ve reached the point of burnout include:

Your performance is suffering. You can’t keep going full steam ahead when you’re running on fumes. When you’re burnt out, your work performance will one of the first things that starts to slip - you may find that you are missing deadlines, forgetting things, half-assing tasks and making careless mistakes.

You constantly feel drained. Burnout is a perpetual state of exhaustion. You’ll start to feel like you just don’t have the energy to do everything that you’re supposed to do. You’ll find that you feel tired all the time, regardless of your sleeping habits, and that just forcing yourself to do the bare minimum leaves you feeling totally depleted and unable to do much else.

You feel disconnected and cynical toward your work. Even if you once enjoyed your work or felt passionate about it, when you’re burnt out, you become disillusioned with what you do. You may find that you’re cynical about your work, or just so apathetic that you can’t bring yourself to care about it anymore, even when you accomplish things that once mattered to you.

You can’t concentrate. Burnout can make it difficult - if not impossible - for even the most dedicated person to focus on their tasks. You might find that you spend a lot of time just sitting in front of your computer, unable to even start tasks because you can’t focus well enough to begin something.

You have become irritable and short-tempered. People who are burnt out have a tendency to become impatient with the people around them. When you’re running on empty, you have no energy left for social interactions. You might find that you’re snapping at coworkers or getting visibly frustrated with clients if you work in a helping profession.

You feel anxious. Burnout is often accompanied by feelings of indistinct dread that you just can’t seem to shake. The fear and anxiety is often tied to work, and can be completely overwhelming.

You can’t sleep. Ironically, people with burnout often have a hard time sleeping. Their minds race all night, and they find that they cannot settle down or get comfortable enough to drift off. If you can sleep, you may find that you are only able to sleep in short bursts and cannot sleep through a full night.

Your eating habits have changed. Some people experiencing burnout find that they lose their appetites. Others find that they begin to comfort themselves with food. Significant changes in appetite and food intake can signal a serious problem.

You feel physically ill. Being under high amounts of stress for long periods of time can destroy your health - you might find that you have a lot of symptoms with no direct physical cause, like headaches, stomach pain, nausea and body aches. You might also find that you get sick more often and get more infections as the stress wears down your immune system.

You feel like you have to drag yourself through the day. Even if you once enjoyed your job or your school, you might start to feel like even showing up is a huge chore, and dread having to go in. You might find that it takes all of your energy to even make it through the front door each day.

The good news is that burnout is not a permanent state; there are things you can do to recover. However, recovering from burnout is not necessarily easy - this is not something you can quick-fix with a self-help book, and you may need to make significant lifestyle changes. Some things you can do to fix or prevent burnout include:

Set firm boundaries. If possible, stop taking work home. Stop signing up for extra shifts and overtime every time it’s available. Don’t volunteer to organize every single office party and baby shower. Stop answering work emails after 5pm. Don’t check your email on the weekends. Don’t respond to emails on vacation. Set firm boundaries between “work time” and “me time” - especially if you work from home, where it’s easier for work and life to bleed together.

Use every minute of your paid time off. A lot of people just don’t use up all their PTO every year because they’re worried they’re letting the company down by taking vacation. Stop that. If you have vacation days, use them. Use your sick time too - if you don’t get sick that often, use them as mental health days. If you’re a student, ask professors for extensions when you’re sick - more and more professors are getting on board with cutting students some slack for life events.

Unplug from productivity culture. Our culture has a pathological obsession with productivity, and it’s killing us. We consume books and blogs and podcasts about how to squeeze as much productivity out of ourselves as possible. It has to stop. Unsubscribe from this kind of content. You don’t need to put more pressure on yourself to optimize and monetize every second of your day - it’s not healthy.

Seek support. Talk to a therapist, a doctor or a friend. Get professional help or just find people you can vent to. Try to form friendships with some of your coworkers or fellow students, especially if you work in the helping professions - they know better than anyone what you are going through.

Prioritize your physical health. When you neglect your physical health, you are more likely to burn out - you run out of fuel faster when you have less in the tank to begin with. Prioritize eating healthy meals and getting all the nutrients you need. Make a habit of exercising. Practice good sleep hygiene and try to improve your sleep.

Talk to your supervisor, advisor or boss. Are there things about your specific work or school environment that could be improved for you? Could you be transferred to a new team? Do your roles and responsibilities need to be clarified so you know exactly what is expected of you? Do you need additional training to do your job well? Are you dealing with harassment that could be reported to HR? See what can be fixed.

Consider a change. Sometimes you just need a change of pace after a while. Many social workers, for instance, eventually leave the profession - a lot of people simply have a lifetime limit on how long they can do that kind of work before they need to switch to something that doesn’t involve human horror every day. If burnout is a consistent problem, it might be time to think about taking a leave of absence, changing to a different role, or switching careers altogether.

Hope this answers your question! MM

#Anonymous #AnsweredByMM

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vintagegenderpunk · 3 years

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ADHD medication tips from an overly introspective person who has been on them for a decade

This is all in my own experience, though I sort of believe that others go through similar things. Again, not a medical professional. Talk to your doctor. Et cetera. But like, ADHD is kind of like autism, in that you’re not gonna get the same info from an allistic person than you are from an autistic person. People without ADHD just... don’t get it.

ADHD meds help regulate your anxiety, so when you don't take them (say, you forget and miss like a few days) sometimes your forgetful mind will get super depressed and anxious and feel like the world is ending

And you won't know WHY you feel like this. It's usually just that you forgot your ADHD meds and are being harsh on yourself. Be kind to your brain. It’s adjusting

Higher doses mean higher suppression of appetite, lower doses do it too, but not as bad. Make a plan to eat regularly. Like... schedule it if at all possible. Get yourself some protein bars or drinks. As I'm lactose and soy intolerant, I recommend OWYN (Only What You Need) brand protein drinks, the dark chocolate is the best, but the coffee one is good too.

If you go for a while off meds then start them suddenly, your first day or two of ADHD meds will feel a bit crazy (if you'll pardon the word use). you'll probably get a lot of energy but not have adjusted yet to dealing with it, so it'll feel a bit manic. In that case, remember that you’re okay, you’re just trying to deal with having different brain chemistry.

Take the meds as EARLY in the day as possible. I usually try not to take them after noon, as they'll keep you up at night.

Coffee or caffeine will often stabilize untreated ADHD, so if migrate towards that, don't worry too much. Although, same rules as the last point, try not to drink caffeine too late in the day or else your sleep problems will be expounded upon even if you don’t physically feel caffeine’s effects.

If you do take adhd meds consistently, don't think of them as your "get things done" meds. think of them as your "get consistent neurotransmitters" meds. If you assign productivity as a value to the act of taking your adhd meds, you're more likely to not take them when you feel like you have nothing to do, which will then conversely tank your mental health as in the first point mentioned.

The Metaphysical Stuff:

If you’re not into the metaphysical, potentially pagan or witchcraft or spirit work related things here, just skip to the next section. I don’t want your comments on this.

I find that since I've become accustomed to taking ADHD meds on weekdays, on weekends when I don't take them, I really struggle to do anything astral / journeying related. Like, it feels like I cannot focus on it to save my life.

My best guess is that your body/brain becomes accustomed to doing that thing with the ADHD meds going on, so when you don't have the meds in your system, it struggles a lot more than usual, which since you've probably forgotten a lot of prior coping methods, means you're more likely to think it's just not Happening right now

Be nice to yourself in these moments. You’re not disconnected from the astral or the spirits or whatnot. You’re just having an adjustment of brain chemistry which wildly affects how you perceive this plain of existence, let alone anything else.

General Information Regarding ADHD for the Uninformed:

Do you see how I broke up this big-ass post into littler chunks? Just like how sarcasm tags (/s) and such helps people with autism or issues interpreting nuanced language, spacing out large chunks of text into smaller pieces will allow your ADHD friends to actually read what you wrote. Please don’t make me look at essay with no line breaks.

ADHD is often co-morbid with anxiety and depression. It fucks up your sleep cycle. The medication messes with your eating habits as well as causes trouble with physical intimacy at times. It throws your ability to focus in a blender along with a plethora of other issues that come off as “lazy” or “immature” to someone who doesn’t have ADHD.

Chill out and be nice to your ADHD friends. We basically don’t get happy neurotransmitters like you do and so it takes a lot of effort to get to the same headspace.

#adhd #mental health

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doc-pickles · 3 years

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all's well that end well to end up with you (p.2)

Welcome back to part two of this fic! If you missed part one it’s right here! enjoy!!

xoxo nina

The absolute last thing Jo had expected when she came to New York for a medical conference was running into her ex-husband. It should’ve been on her radar, Arizona was headlining the conference, but she hadn’t thought that Alex would be interested in maternal-fetal medicine. Yet there they were, staring at each other across a crowded hotel lobby. Arizona interrupts her train of thought, welcoming her and gushing about how excited she is that Jo is now an OB.

“I have to run but I see your husband over there,” if Arizona registers her shock she doesn’t show it. “Good to see you, Jo!”

As soon as Arizona is out of sight Jo finds herself marching up to Alex and slapping his arm, “Ow! What was that for?”

“What was that for? Arizona just called you my husband,” Alex flinches and Jo can’t help rolling her eyes at him. “You didn’t tell her?”

“It never came up.” “Alex! It’s been three years,” at the mention of their separation reality seems to sink in around Alex and Jo. They haven’t seen each other in three years, not since Jo dropped him off at the airport. “Hi.”

“Hey. You look… wow,” Alex realizes his blunder almost immediately, stuttering over his words as he tries to correct himself. “Sorry, uh, about Arizona. I’m scared she’s going to hit me for letting you get away. Which, fair enough, you know?”

Jo takes Alex in fully for the first time. His hair is a bit grayer but he looks good with his sun-kissed skin and toned arms. He’s dressed in a button-up and slacks and in other circumstances, Jo would find him devilishly handsome.

“Yeah, you’d have to be pretty stupid to let this get away,” Jo sends a subtle wink Alex’s way and watches as he sighs in relief. “So what are you doing at an MFM conference anyway?”

“My hospital is opening a brand new neonatal and MFM wing so the board decided that the chief and some of our surgeons should come out and learn a bit more. It also helps that Arizona taught me everything I know,” Alex nervously rubs the back of his neck, watching Jo carefully. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m an OB now,” the shocked expression on Alex’s face makes Jo giggle. “I know but after… Well after everything that happened I needed some change, something to make me happy. So I switched to OB, adopted a baby, and dyed my hair blonde. The blonde didn’t stick but the baby and the career switch did.”

There’s an overhead announcement for the start of the conference, people moving inside all around them. Everyone else seems to fade away though as Jo and Alex meet eyes again. He’s wearing that dumbstruck look that he wore when she dressed or after she said I love you or when they’d lay in bed together. Despite the years and distance between them, Alex still wears the undeniable look of love he always did when he looked at Jo.

“I gotta find Carina but… I’ll see you around?” Alex nods, still entranced with Jo as she turns to walk away. Their interaction is brief but it makes her crave Alex all the more.

Late that night Jo finds herself alone at the hotel bar. Carina had initially joined her but had gone back to their room to call Maya and their daughter. Jo is about to head up herself when someone sits on the stool next to her.

“Jack and coke for me and a whiskey sour for my friend here.”

Jo’s head whips up in surprise as Alex settles down next to her, a smirk gracing his lips, “It’s still a whiskey sour right?”

“Yeah thank you,” Jo nods to the bartender as he hands her the drink. “So… we’re friends now?”

“I’d like to hope so,” Alex picks up his glass and Jo gladly toasts him. “To new beginnings”

“To new beginnings.”

Alex and Jo sit together and discuss what’s changed for them. There’s no awkwardness or hostility like Jo might have thought. Instead, it genuinely feels like catching up with an old friend. She talks about Luna and proudly shows a video of the young girl counting to 10 in Spanish. Alex brings up a photo from Izzie’s wedding of himself squished between Eli and Alexis, all three bearing matching crooked smiles and bright eyes. Jo can’t help the swell of pride that mounts in her chest at the sight. Eli looks more like Alex but she can still see the Karev shining through Alexis as well. For a moment she wonders, goes through the what-ifs, but she quickly pushes them down.

“I think I’m gonna head up but I really enjoyed catching up,” Alex leans down, pressing a kiss to Jo’s cheek. Her skin flames up under his delicate touch and she knows she’s wearing a deep blush. “Goodnight Jo.”

“You missed.”

“What?”

“You missed,” Jo leans up, her fingers brushing Alex’s cheek as she pulls him down into a deep kiss. She brings her other hand up to tangle in his hair and pull him closer, sighing contentedly as his hands find her waist and pull her flush against him. She pulls back only slightly, leaning her forehead against Alex’s. “Are you still leaving?”

“Not without you I’m not,” the words sound so natural as Jo melts into Alex’s embrace, his arms wrapping fully around her. Their lips meet in a chaste kiss before they’re stumbling out of the bar, not drunk enough to blame their actions on the alcohol but just enough to begin to heal the open wounds of their failed relationship.

Everything after that comes naturally, the lost lovers escaping upstairs and falling into bed with practiced ease. Jo feels right at home in Alex’s bed, both of them remembering each other’s bodies as if they’d never parted. Neither of them thinks twice about the pillow talk they share after or the way they drift off to sleep in each other’s arms. It’s not until the next morning when Jo answers her phone that she realizes things are amiss.

“Mmm hello?”

“Thank goodness, I thought you were dead.”

“Carina?”

“Where are you? You missed the first speaker of the day.”

Jo bolts up in bed, finally realizing where she is. Alex’s arms snake out and around her waist, his gruff voice slightly muffled by his pillow, “Come back to bed, I’ll make it worth your while.”

“Carina I’m going to grab a shower and I’ll be down as soon as possible.” There’s a light laugh on the other side as Carina confirms Jo’s plan, “I’m glad you’re having fun, Jo.”

Jo hangs up, jumping out of bed and searching for her clothes in a rush to get out the door. Her frantic pace brings Alex out of his sleepy stupor as he rubs his eyes and watches her, “Where are you rushing off to?”

“Well it’s 10:30 so I already missed the lecture on in utero surgery,” Alex rolls over, groaning when he sees that Jo is correct. “I’m hoping I can fit in a shower before Arizona goes on.”

Once she’s finally dressed Jo walks back to Alex, her lips brushing over his lightly before she pulls him in for a sweet and sensual kiss. She watches him for a moment, taking in the shocked look on his face, “What?”

“Why aren't you mad at me? I left you.”

“I forgave you a long time ago for that Alex,” Jo runs her fingers across his cheek, meeting his eyes with a serious stare. “As soon as I held Luna I understood why you did what you did. I knew that if I felt that way about a baby that wasn’t even mine yet that you couldn’t leave two kids who were half you. I always knew you would be a fantastic dad. Even if it wasn’t with me I’m glad that you got that.”

Jo presses one more chaste kiss to Alex’s lips, leaving him staring dumbfounded at her, “Can I come back tonight?”

“I’m sorry,” Alex seemingly ignores Jo’s last statement, looking up at her with a sorrowful expression. “Leaving you… leaving you was my biggest mistake. I love my kids but you were everything. You’re still everything. And I know you say that you forgave me but I never apologized. I’m so sorry Jo, you didn’t deserve how I left you.”

There’s an amicable silence as Jo and Alex just stare at each other, both of them with tears welling in their eyes. There’s not much else to say, but they both know that their newfound relationship wouldn’t end with the weekend.

It's three weeks after Alex‘s surprise weekend visit to Seattle and Jo has never felt so terrible in her life. Despite Carina‘s prescription of an anti-nausea medication Jo’s morning sickness and vertigo continue to plague her no matter what she tries. She hasn’t operated or delivered any babies in almost a month, her work routines now consisting of doing chart work and checking on patients when she’s not trying to keep food down. Between trying to maintain her work schedule and keeping up with Luna on top of her pregnancy, Jo is exhausted and completely depleted of any energy she might have once had.

She finally hits her breaking point an hour into her shift when she’s thrown up for the fourth time that day and nearly passes out. Her head is swimming as she leans against the bathroom stall, the only thought she can focus on is how much she wishes Alex was there. He always knew exactly what she needed when she wasn’t feeling good. There’s a knock on the door and she barely lifts her head when she sees Carina walk in.

“I’m admitting you. You need rest and fluids and you’re not going to get that if you keep running yourself into the ground,” Carina places her hand on Jo’s forehead. “You’re burning up, mi amor.”

“I’m fine, I don’t need to be admitted,” Jo attempts to brush off Carina as she grabs her hand, but the rush of blood to her head stops her. Carina barely catches her as her knees go weak and her vision blurs.

“What am I going to do with you, Jo? Come on, let’s go.”

Jo doesn’t put up any more of a fight, following Carina to a room and all but collapsing onto the bed. Her brain is foggy, words incoherently falling from her mouth as Carina asks her questions. Finally, her eyes flutter shut and Jo is enveloped in silence.

When she pries her eyes open again the sky outside is dark. Jo realizes this is the longest she’s slept in over a month and lets her eyes fall shut again. Only a moment later she remembers her morning with Carina and a deep panic sets into her bones.

Her baby.

As if sensing her unease, Alex reaches his hand out to grab hers. Jo then realizes that he’s sitting at her bedside, eyes tired and body restless in the small chair, “The baby’s okay, you don’t need to freak out.”

Jo nods, rubbing her hands over her face in exasperation. Even though their baby is okay Alex’s worried expression tells her that things might not be all rainbows and sunshine.

“Carina called me after you passed out. Scared the shit out of me, I thought you were dead or…,” Alex doesn’t finish the statement out, Jo putting the pieces together and settling her hand on the slight curve of her stomach. “You’ve gotta take better care of yourself.”

“I didn’t pass out, my vision went spotty and I was light-headed. And then I took a nap.”

“Jo, you slept for 15 hours straight. You were out long enough for me to finish a laparoscopic cholecystectomy, drive an hour to Kansas City, hop on a four-hour flight, and sit in traffic from the airport to get here. You’re running yourself into the ground,” Jo avoids Alex’s gaze as she fights back tears. “Carina took your blood when she put you on the IV drip. On top of being dehydrated and having iron deficiency anemia you also have an untreated UTI that’s bordering a kidney infection.”

“What?” Jo sits up abruptly but is immediately overcome with a wave of dizziness. Alex moves faster than her, placing one hand on her back while the other holds a basin in front of her. Head still in the basin, Jo speaks up, “Are you serious?”

Alex confirms the news once more, his hand rubbing Jo’s back gently, “She’s got you on strong meds to combat the infection and the baby is doing fine. You just need to take better care of yourself, Jo. Between work and Luna and now this baby you’re stretching yourself too thin.”

She can't help the rush of emotions she feels or the loud sob that breaks from her as Jo lets the last few weeks finally take their toll on her. Alex is quick to wrap her in his arms but even that does little to calm her down.

“I’m sorry, it’s just been really overwhelming and I’ve been doing everything alone,” Jo wipes at the tears pooling under her eyes and settles into Alex’s side. “I’m just exhausted from everything.”

“You’re not alone Jo, you have me and Mer and Link. All of us are more than willing to help you out.”

“Meredith and Link have their own families to take care of. And you live halfway across the freaking country, I can’t keep expecting you to drop everything and come to my rescue,” Jo knows that Alex wants to refute her statement but she avoids looking at him. “It’s just me and Luna and it’s so hard. I thought having a medically fragile infant was hard but that was nothing compared to all of this.”

Alex leans down and presses a kiss to Jo’s forehead, pulling her closer to him, “We’ll figure it all out, okay? I’m not letting you take all of this on by yourself.”

The words comfort Jo, if only slightly. She knows Alex has changed, knows that he really means it when he says that he’s going to take care of them. She’s not entirely sure what the future holds for them but she knows that everything will work out.

Meredith isn’t entirely sure what to think when she uses her key to unlock the penthouse only to find it empty. The furniture is still there but the personal items are all gone. The photos of Jo and Luna are gone, all of the drawers and closets are empty, and the place is eerily quiet. When she loops back to the living room Meredith finally notices the note taped to the fridge written in Jo’s loopy script.

Link or Meredith-

Luna and I are fine, there’s no need to worry about us. I promise we’ll call soon.

-Jo

The note gives Meredith a strange sense of deja vu, taking her back to when she had packed up Zola and Bailey and gone to San Diego. The memory instantly worries her, she can’t blame Jo for running but she also knows that their situations aren’t the same. Meredith pulls out her phone and dials Alex, hoping that he’s heard from Jo but the call goes straight to voicemail.

As she walks out of the penthouse Meredith hopes that Jo is okay, hopes that Alex knows where she is and that he’s able to help her through the rough road she has ahead of her.

“Hey.”

“Hey yourself. How was the flight?”

“Besides the rambunctious three-year-old and constant nausea it wasn’t too bad,” Jo grins up at Alex as he takes Luna from her arms. “I can’t believe we’re here.”

Alex lets out a laugh as he folds Jo into his arms, squeezing both girls tightly, “Finally, it only took a month of begging.”

“Yeah well I figured now was a good time, you know before I get any bigger,” at the mention of her expanding baby bump Alex lets his hand float down to the curve of her stomach. She’d hidden it well with sweaters and baggy scrubs but now there was no denying that she was pregnant. “This is kinda crazy, isn’t it?”

Alex and Jo both laugh at that, knowing that nothing they’d ever done was traditional or normal. They’d divorced almost four years ago and now found themselves with three kids between them and a fourth on the way.

“What? You moving to Kansas after we’ve only been back together for a few months? I’d say it’s not completely sane,” Alex takes in Jo’s shocked face with a smile. “What’s that look for?”

“So we’re together now are we?”

Alex laughs before he bends down and captures Jo’s lips, only parting upon Luna’s insistence, “Only if you want to be.”

“I do.”

“Good because I fully intend to have you say those words for a third time,” Jo’s jaw drops at Alex’s words and it takes everything in her to calm down her racing heart. “You think I was just gonna bring you out here without marrying you?”

“Well, I-”

Alex takes the opportunity to press another kiss to Jo’s lips, “It’s okay princess, I promise this is the last time.” Jo finds herself standing in awe as she watches Alex and Luna look for their bags on the conveyor belt in front of them. There’s a flurry of tiny flutters that erupt in her stomach, partially from the baby wiggling around but mostly from the joy, she felt at Alex’s proposition. Since their reunion in New York, all Jo has wanted is exactly this, a life with Alex. She had thought that wasn’t in the cards for them anymore but as she watched him hoist Luna onto his shoulders she knew that everything around them had worked out perfectly.

#jolex #alex karev #jo wilson #jo karev #greys anatomy #jo x alex #jolex fanfic #greys anatomy fanfic #nina writes

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