#girl u need to mix up your attacks more by looking at their description and seeing if theyre considered a normal attack or physical or magic

[launch-cronch]

#toram #toram online #girl u need to mix up your attacks more by looking at their description and seeing if theyre considered a normal attack or physical or magic #otherwise the damage gets less over time in battle LISTEN TO ME

[frmegaverse]

⋆ ☄︎. ·˚ * 🔭 STARRY EYES SPARKING UP ME DARKEST NIGHTS ࿐

⊹ ݁ ִ  ۫ You have a panic attack while promoting your solo and Seungmin helps you through it.

★☆! pairing: idol!seungmin x idol!fem!reader

★☆! warnings: descriptions of panic attacks & social anxiety. reader is a bit apprehensive about seungmin initially. mentions of criminal minds(?). mentions of hate / cyber bullying. very fluffy. open ending (part two?????)

★☆! word count: 2.4k

vivi speaks !! the way i started working on this in december of 2022 😭😭 but i’ve finally finished it, so who cares. let me know if u guys want a part 2 :), maybe i can finish it before i finish college hehe.

It’s bad. 

Like truly bad. 

This is not your first time at such event. Having debuted a while ago, you slowly got used to award shows, especially with the help of your members who are always there for you. 

Maybe that’s the issue.

You never had to make an acceptance speech, never had to be the center of attention, always letting your members take care of that — they’ve always gone above and beyond to make you comfortable during these events anyways. So now that you’re alone for the first time in what feels like ages, you simply don’t know what to do.

The anxiety mixed with the fear of embarrassing yourself in front of everyone was what led you to your current situation. Alone in a dark hallway you bite your lips as strongly as you can to stop the tears from falling and ruining your makeup — you still have to perform after all. Your head is so fuzzy that, even though you’re sitting down, you feel like you’re about to fall at any given moment, and you swear you can feel your skeleton shaking inside of you.

Your palms are sweating, but the sensation you have is that all blood stopped running in your veins. Your breath is erratic and the oxygen burns your lungs, your heart beating so fast you can feel it hitting against your rib cages, the blood running through your ears louder than your thoughts. 

As we established earlier, things are not looking good for you right now. 

You don’t even know how long you’ve been there — it could be minutes, seconds, hours. At your current state of mind, years could’ve passed and you wouldn't have noticed a change in the weather.

As matter of fact, you didn’t even notice the hallway lights turning on, let alone the person that lit them.

“Oh shit!” They cursed lowly, taken by surprise by the zombie-like girl sitting on the floor.

While they cautiously scan the body in search of any sign of life, your eyes finally pick up on the sudden clarity. Shooting your head up at an incredible speed, your eyes meet with a slightly scared Kim Seungmin.

Your slowler-than-usual brain takes a moment to kick in, finally warning you that you should get your shit together — especially in front of your senior —, and so you do, getting up way faster than expected. Your vision goes completely black for a second or two, making you bow lower than intended.

“Hello.” You greet him, your vision still not completely back as your upper body goes up once again. 

Trying to find some kind of stability, you reach for the nearest wall to lean against. Scared that you might fall and hurt yourself, Seungmin runs to you, firmly grabbing both your shoulders before pulling your waist, stabilizing your dizzy self against his chest. 

In any other scenario you would probably push him away and call him a creep, but now you reserve yourself to accept the help without second guessing his true intentions. 

“Woah! Calm down,” His voice is still low, not much higher than a whisper, “Are you okay? Do you need something?”

Once your vision goes back to normal you separate yourself from the boy, who reluctantly lets you go, not leaving too much space between the two of you just in case. 

Averting his gaze, you try to fix your eye makeup to look a little more presentable. “Yeah, yeah. I, uh, I just-” You stop yourself for a moment, your brain cells working extra-hour to come up with something to say. A pathetic “I’m fine,” is the best you can manage to do.

“You don’t seem fine to me.”

“Well, you’re wrong. I am fine.” You immediately bite back, sounding way more defensive than intended, instant regret kicking in for being such a bitch to someone who was just trying to help. “i’m sorry…” you whisper.

Seungmin, on the other hand, didn’t seem offended one bit by your hostility, no. He was way more focused on finding out what was going on. 

Trying to make you feel more comfortable, he was quick to change the subject. “Aren’t you, uh…” He stops, waiting for you to introduce yourself to him.

As your foggy mind goes into autopilot once again, you bow for a second time, formally introducing yourself and your group for him. 

Seungmin can’t help but chuckle at your excess of formality. “There is no need for all of this, we’re basically the same age.” 

“You’re right, I’m sorry.” 

And so, the small talk dies silent. 

You force yourself to come up with something to say, but nothing comes to mind. What are you even supposed to say in a moment like this? It’s not like the two of you had ever talked before. Yeah, some of your members are close to the Stray Kids’ boys, it’s true, but you personally never really talked to anyone outside your own label — screw it, you’ve barely talked to anyone outside your own group. 

As if the situation couldn’t get any worse, your palms start to sweat again, the fear of having another panic attack in front of Seungmin becoming a trigger to you. Sharp nails scratching against the skin of your thumb.

The boy picks up quickly on what’s happening, bringing your attention to him once again. “Hey,” He straightened himself, taking a couple steps past you, near the end of the corridor, “wanna see something cool?”

Not wanting to be rude, you nod. And so he kept going, with you right behind him (well, not exactly right behind, since there was so much your trembling legs could do right now; still, you felt like you weren’t going that slow — even though it took you 30 extra seconds to get to the end of that 2 meters corridor).  

When you got there, you noticed that there was only a big metal door with a handwritten ‘Authorized People Only’ sign taped to it. You were about to ask him if this was the right place when Seungmin opened said door.

“No one comes here, don’t worry.” He explained.

Holding the door with one arm, he motions for you to go in. 

Obviously, if you were in your right mind, this whole thing would be the biggest red flag ever (a man you don’t know being weirdly touchy with you and then inviting you to go to a secluded area where “no one goes to”? You’ve watched way too many real crime videos to fall for that), but since you’re not in the best of your judgment at the moment, you obey his orders without thinking twice. 

Your friends know him, what’s the worst that can happen? 

Looking around a bit, you couldn’t be less interested. The room seemed like a technical room, filled with tangled wires connected to some sort of power walls. Is this Seungmin’s definition of a “cool place”? If so, that’s pretty anticlimactic.  

“What is this place?” You ask as the door behind you closes by itself, making a heavy sound, the room immediately becoming pitch black.

Seungmin turns on his flashlight, the position making the bright light hit you right in the eyes; you wince in discomfort, covering your face. “Sorry,” He repositions the cellphone, pointing to the floor instead of your face, “This is just a wire room, for some lights and special effects,” He shrugs, moving the cellphone around like he searched for something. 

“Hmm,” You nod, looking around once again. “So… what are we doing here?” 

“Oh, this is not the cool place, silly,” He laughs. Pointing the flashlight to his right, you follow the light’s path, surprised as you notice the emergency stair at the wall, “it’s up there.” 

Seungmin gets closer to the stairs, you follow him. He takes a moment to decide if it was better for you or him to climb first, opting to have you staring at his ass instead of the contrary. And so he puts his cellphone in his pocket and goes, as you blindly follow him once again, struggling to climb in your stage outfit. 

At the top, he pushes the trapdoor open and climbs in, helping you to do the same. Once you stabilize your boots on the floor, you take a moment to look around. You’re at the rooftop, as you expected. The cold air of the early winter hits you like a train, making you hug yourself by instinct as shivers run through your body, the tiny, sleeveless dress you’re using doing absolutely nothing to help. Looking up at the sky you can actually see a couple stars here and there. 

“Wow! It’s beautiful,” You say under your breath. 

Seungmin, who was already looking at you, can’t help but notice how your eyes shine just as bright as the stars. Taking his denim jacket off he places it on your shoulders, using the proximity to guide you closer to the edge. Looking down, you can barely see the people walking on the streets, they all look so tiny from here, like the world below you is just a model; a colony of ants.

So tiny, so delicate.

It really makes you wonder how such delicate species can be so mean. So terrifying. So heartless. The things you’ve seen, you’ve read, you’ve heard; they couldn’t possibly have come from them, could it? After what felt like a life of being submitted to so much inhumanity, you start to question what “being a human” truly means. 

If it’s the ability to feel empathy for others that separates us from the other species, what will be left of us if it’s all gone?

When your grip on the metal bar tightens, Seungmin decides it is time to intervene. “I was listening to your song on my way here,” Seungmin admits, “well, it was Felix who put in on the car’s speaker, but you know. I really liked it.”

Your head spins at him, your gazes meeting for a second before you avert it. “Oh, uh, thanks. It was my first time writing- I mean, not my first time, I’ve written things before, but I never felt like it was good enough. I always thought I was better at composing rather than writing, you know?! But this time it was just… I don’t know. I had this idea in my mind, and the words kept coming so I wrote them down and, well, the rest is history.” You shrug, beating yourself mentally for talking too much. 

“I really like your writing style. It’s very unique, just like you.” His attempt at flirting makes you laugh for the first time that night, and when Seungmin hears your shy giggles turn into a full laugh, he can’t help but laugh too. “Yah, why are you laughing?!” He pretended to be offended. 

“You’re so corny.”

“I’m not corny, I’m romantic.”

Romantic? You can’t lie, that pulled at your heart strings a bit. 

Still, you roll your eyes at him, trying to convey annoyance, your smiley face totally giving you away, “Whatever helps you sleep at night, Romeo.”

“Oh c’mon, it was pretty smooth, at least give me that!”

“Alright, alright. It was pretty smooth, I admit,” You threw your hands in the air, defeated. 

You turned around in your heels, back pressed against the railing. “So, how’d you find out about this place?!” 

“I’m just nosy.” He shrugged. 

“Oh yeah, I believe that.” 

Seungmin scoffed. “I saw the ‘authorized people only’ sign and came in.” 

“You were coming here when you… found me?” 

“Yes.”

“Any reason why..?” 

“You’re also very nosy, aren’t you missy?!” 

You laugh, giving the boy besides you a playful slap.

Seungmin laughed too, averting his gaze, “I just like coming here before a performance. Helps unwind the tension. It’s kind of a ritual of mine at this point.” 

You nodded. This time, the silence that formed between you two was comfortable. You closed your eyes, allowing yourself to feel the moment, without worrying so much about, well, everything. 

Seungmin didn’t say anything either. 

You two stayed like this for a while, just enjoying the cold breeze hitting you two. You wondered if he was cold like you, and you even thought of offering his jacket back, but it was just so warm (and it smelled so good). 

After a minute or two (more like several), you opened your eyes again, lookin at your side where Seungmin stood. He leaned over the rails, hands clasped together as he looked up at the sky. 

There were no direct lights up here, so it was up to the moon to provide some light for you two. As you look at Seungmin, you notice the way his eyes reflect the moonlight. It was like he held a moon in each of his pupils, only for him, like some sort of mystical being. A kind of God who has moons for eyes and the kindest heart. 

God what am I thinking?

You shook your head, laughing at yourself. The melodic sound of your laugh perked his attention, his head turning to you, his smile mimicking yours. 

“What?” He asked. 

You looked back at him, shaking your head. For the first time that night, the two of you held eye contact for more than a couple seconds. 

“I think I should get going…” You say. There is a hint of sadness in your voice, your eyes never leaving his. “My manager probably already called the cops the second she saw I wasn’t in the dressing room.” 

Seungmin nodded, his expression turning down. He didn’t say anything. You wondered if you should say something, but decided against it. 

It wasn’t until you were already halfway through the roof that you turned back, running back towards Seungmin, who was now resting against the railing watching you go. When you got to him, you wrapped your arms around his waist in a tight hug, catching him by surprise. 

When the shock wore off, he engulfed your much smaller figure in his arms, and you hoped he couldn’t feel your giant smile against him. 

“Thank you, Seungmin.” 

“Y- You’re welcome.” 

You let go of him, really leaving this time around. 

As you climbed the stairs back down still wearing his jacket, your heart was pounding again, but now for totally different reasons. And your mind couldn’t help but wonder if this was the start of a great friendship, or perhaps something more was to come out of it…

#( ⋆｡˚꩜ ) stray kids #stray kids #stray kids seungmin #kim seungmin #seungmin fanfic #stray kids fanfic #seungmin fluff #stray kids fluff #stray kids scenarios #seungmin scenarios #stray kids drabbles #skz #skz fluff

[prvtbugsbuggins]

Caboose and his ungodly amount of sisters.

A post for both my reference and for you all to enjoy.

The idea of Military Alphabet being used as names was inspired by Red Battalion, Blue Regiment by @tinfoil-jones. It's a great fic u guys plz.

More stuff under the cut.

Caboose and his sisters were all taken from a pool of war orphans during the great war. All of them had their homes glassed and barely escaped with their lives. The oldest at the time was little more than a small kid, so many of them don't remember having parents or a life before they were taken into the SPARTAN III program. For all they know, this was all normal to them.

Indiana was the oldest and was the one to remember what parental love was all about, so she was the one who kept an eye on everyone else and did her best to be sure that they had love while growing up. Their training was extremely harsh and she made sure it was as fair as it could be.

Here are the siblings, from oldest to youngest. Once they were old enough to leave the program, all of them chose their own names. Caboose was chosen as the last name, and all of them keep it as a sign of solidarity.

Name: Indiana ‘Indy’ Carnation Caboose

Rank: Lieutenant General

Armor Color: Dark brown and tan

Designation: INDIA

Description: Freckled pale skin with green eyes and red hair that she keeps short. Absolutely stacked. 9Ft tall even. Is missing a leg but has a cool cyborg one to replace it. Defacto ‘leader’ of the Spartan Siblings and tends to call the shots. Is high enough rank to make sure her siblings are treated well no matter where they end up.

Currently: Alive and still in active duty. Works mostly with Holly.

---

Name: Holiday ‘Holly’ Yuletide Caboose

Rank: Major General

Armor Color: Green and Red

Designation: HOTEL

Description: Tan skin with brown eyes and black hair that she keeps long. 8’11’’ tall. Is built more slender but can still break your neck. Is the one who usually keeps track of all the siblings and makes sure they are okay. Organizes the yearly get together.

Currently: Alive and still in active duty. Works mostly with Indiana.

---

Name: Winter Solstice Caboose

Rank: Chief Warrant Officer 5

Armor Color: White and Winter-mint Green

Designation: WHISKEY

Description: Pale skin with blue eyes and white-blonde hair that she keeps short. 7’9’’ tall. Is built more slender and is stupidly flexible, giving her a rep as an escape artist.

Currently: Alive and still in active duty. Works as a battlefield tactician and invents war-games for training purposes.

---

Name: Tango Rio Caboose

Rank: Second Lieutenant

Armor Color: Black and White

Designation: TANGO

Description: Tan skin with brown eyes and blonde hair that was kept short. Was more short and squat but absolutely stacked. 8 ft tall even. Used to bench press actual benches with people on it.

Currently: MIA. Was last seen on Reach.

---

Name: Vicky Ableton Caboose

Rank: First Lieutenant

Armor Color: Teal and Pink

Designation: VICTOR

Description: Pale skin with blue eyes and hair that’s always in a different color done in a ‘fluff hawk’ hairstyle. 8Ft tall even and built more slender. Is faster than the other siblings in terms of speed.

Currently: Alive and retired. Currently works as a DJ and plays for raves while making her own music.

---

Name: Sierra Nevada Caboose

Rank: Second Lieutenant

Armor Color: Tan and Gold

Designation: SIERRA

Description: Rust colored skin with black eyes and black hair kept long. 8’5’’ tall and was more focused on martial arts, so she was rather slender. Could one inch punch people across a room.

Currently: MIA. Was last seen on Reach.

---

Name: Charlie Beatrix Caboose

Rank: Sergeant Major

Armor Color: Green and Brown

Designation: CHARLIE

Description: Warm dark skin with brown eyes and black hair kept short. Built more chubby and squat at 8’6’’ tall. Can hug you to death though, so be careful. Used to be able to pick up cars so the wheels could get changed faster.

Currently: Alive and retired. Writes and illustrates children's books based off stories she told Caboose when he was little.

---

Name: Luna Moonbeam Caboose

Rank: Sergeant Major

Armor Color: Black and Blue

Designation: LIMA

Description: Pale skin with pale blue eyes and pale blonde hair kept long. Just pale, lol. 7’11’’ tall and built slender and trim. Is really good at psychology and has a knack for motivating people without them realizing it. Takes active interest in troop morale and writes papers on how to improve it.

Currently: Alive and in active duty. Works as a drill sergeant and her teams perform better because she gives them all lollipops when they do a good job.

---

Name: Juliet Romeo Caboose

Rank: First Lieutenant

Armor Color: Yellow and Green

Designation: JULIET

Description: Freckled pale skin with brown eyes and blonde hair kept long. Built like a muscular country farm-girl at 8’7’’ tall. Can pick up fully grown cattle and move them where they need to go.

Currently: Alive and retired. Works on a farm where she raises various livestock with her wife. Caboose gets to name all the baby animals born on said farm.

---

Name: Fox (Foxy) Trot Caboose

Rank: First Lieutenant

Armor Color: Orange and Black

Designation: FOXTROT

Description: Tan skin with blue eyes and red hair kept short. More wiry and slender than most other sisters and stuck more to stealth tactics than outright assault. 7’10’’ tall.

Currently: MIA. Last seen on Reach.

---

Name: Echo Echo Caboose

Rank: First Lieutenant

Armor Color: Dark Blue and light Blue

Designation: ECHO

Description: Dark skin with brown eyes and black hair kept short. Quite muscular and built at 8’6’’ tall. Usually specialized in hand to hand combat and liked to use knives and other bladed weapons.

Currently: MIA. Last seen scouting uncharted territory.

---

Name: Ollie Oxenfree Caboose

Rank: Major

Armor Color: Pink and White

Designation: OSCAR

Description: Pale skin with brown eyes and black hair, kept short. Is more slender and built more for stealth and misdirection type of combat. 8’4’’ tall and can pluck your heart out of your rib-cage if need be.

Currently: Alive and retired. Works as a therapist and specializes in PTSD traumas.

---

Name: November Showers Caboose

Rank: Lieutenant Colonel

Armor Color: Dark Red and Orange

Designation: NOVEMBER

Description: Tan skin with brown eyes and orange hair kept short. Is built like a bruiser at a good 8’10’’ tall and a body to put bodybuilders to shame. Likes to count how many teeth she can knock out of someone’s head with one punch.

Currently: MIA. Was last seen on Reach.

---

Name: Kiki Piña Colada Caboose

Rank: Major

Armor Color: Light Pink and Light Yellow

Designation: KILO

Description: The smallest sister at 7’8’’ tall and slender. Pale skin with blue eyes and pink/blonde hair kept long. Enjoys looking pretty but is scarily good at assassinations. Likes to use her unassuming looks against people. Has beaten up selfish lovers.

Currently: Alive and in active duty. Trains special forces troops.

---

Name: Bravo Blue Caboose

Rank: Lieutenant General

Armor Color: Blue and Black

Designation: BRAVO

Description: Pale skin with blue eyes and brown hair kept short in a buzz cut. Likes piercings and body mods. Has an unbelievable pain tolerance and likes to freak out her recruits using it. 8’10’’ tall and built like a linebacker. Sometimes will stand there and let people attack her and laugh at their attempts to hurt her. Will kill you if you make her siblings cry.

Currently: Alive and in active duty. Works on top secret things that are secret. It’s mostly boring stuff, like paperwork. She hates it.

---

Name: Quinn Sable Caboose

Rank: Captain

Armor Color: Grey and Purple

Designation: QUEBEC

Description: Tan skin with green eyes and brown hair kept short. Tends to dye tips of hair purple. Is covered in tattoos. Is very muscular and big at 8’7’’ tall and can pop someone’s head off their body like a grape. Makes a newsletter for all her siblings so they know what’s going on with each other.

Currently: Alive and in active duty. Trains forces in how to work together as a team and not die.

---

Name: Zelda Triforce Caboose

Rank: Captain

Armor Color: Dark green and Light Blue.

Designation: ZULU

Description: Dark skin with brown eyes and long dreads dyed in a wide range of colors. Built to be trim and slender. Could choke you out with her legs. Is 8ft tall even. Probably has ADHD and is very excitable.

Currently: Alive and retired. Currently makes VR video games and programs for a living.

---

Name: Michael Jaybird Caboose

Rank: Major

Armor Color: Blue (the best blue)

Designation: MIKE

Description: It’s Caboose, our boy. 7Ft tall even with brown hair, blue eyes, and is built like a brick house. Gives the softest hugs, though.

Currently: Alive and in a mix of active duty and ‘retired’. Pets dinosaurs and plays ‘games’ with his squad.

---

If possible they all try to meet up together at least once a year and they actively send letters to each other. They will call if close enough, but since everyone is doing something different, it's unlikely that two siblings would be on a planet together at the same time. All of them are extremely protective over each other, especially to Caboose since he is the baby. Despite some being retired, they still have and wear their armor because it's so ingrained in themselves. Eventually many more will decide to retire and pursue other interests once they figure out what they like.

Also all of them have a barcode tattooed on them somewhere. Not for evil purposes, but because it's easier to scan a code that can't be removed and make sure you aren't going to kill your Spartan by accidently giving them a medication they are allergic to.

Feel free to use if you like as well. I will be using this as a reference for my own works, lol.

#rvb #red vs blue #caboose #Michael j caboose #caboose's 17 sisters #spartan!caboose #best siblings #for me and other people #mostly so i don't fuck up when I write #caboose is the literal baby #all of them are eccentric in their own ways #you can't help to be that when you've been raised from toddler stage to be warriors #the yearly get together is a real fun party tho #it goes on for days

[yelenasdog]

𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 (𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐨𝐫 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫)

𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐁𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐖𝐈  𝐁𝐘 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐒𝐓𝐘𝐋𝐄𝐒

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fluff

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: wherever they go, it seems they can’t escape each other

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬: 6.09k

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: smoking, drinking, kissing, getting ~steamy~, but nothing explicit.

𝐚/𝐧: this kinda feels melodramatic at times, but over all i think this is an alright fic that took me forever LOL! i hope you enjoy it! btw,

this can be read as ben!rog or just rog, i just was thinking of ben!rog when i wrote it

also if u wanna listen to kiwi while listening, the vibes would be immaculate and i reccomend it :D kk enjoy

✺🎬✺

Her footsteps were mute as she padded forward on the concrete, searching furiously through her crochet bag. The box in her hands stayed tightly gripped though, Roger noted. He waited a bit until he was certain she had no chance of finding what he thought she was looking for, and that he would be her last resort.

“Need a light?”

He watched with careful eyes as the girl next to him fumbled about to pick out a cigarette from the nearly emptied box, probably just some cheap ones from the gas station near the dorms.

“Yes, thanks.”

The brunet nodded, bringing his forward to her’s and inhaling, a few loose embers falling to the ground in a sparkling orange flurry.

Roger observed the way her chipped nails on ring adorned fingers shakily held the cigarette as she brought it to her lips, taking a very long drag.

It was windy out that night (which was the reason he was telling himself he decided not to bother with his Zippo), her silky black dress doing barely a thing to keep her covered from the chilly temperatures. He noticed the blue tint to her formerly painted lips, only a pale stain of color left behind. He also happened to notice the goosebumps that graced her exposed arms and legs, and her slight shiver that came with it.

The girl nervously adjusted the twisted strap to her purse, sending a glance in Rog’s direction every once in a while, but mostly she kept her gaze fixed on the stars above. She seemed to be mesmerized by the way they twinkled so brightly, even in the polluted sky. The bottles of liquor in her purse clinked together, and she cringed visibly at the sound, a shiver being sent through her bones.

He smiled at her behavior, oddly endeared by it, perhaps even enchanted.

“What’s your name?”

She turned, taking the stick from between her lips. Roger kept his eyes glued to the plump flesh momentarily despite the movement away from the area.

“That’s none of your business, Roger.” She smiled, a playful look set ablaze in her eyes.

He looked down, putting his hands up in mock surrender.

“How do you know my name, then?” He questioned curiously, slanting his eyes and quirking a brow.

“Your band.” Her voice seemed softer, almost a fond tone set within it.

“You’ve seen us play?”

“Yeah, you guys are good.”

“You’re a fan then?”

She chuckled, looking to her feet.

“I wouldn’t go that far.”

He laughed, nodding yet again.

They stayed together for some time, silently and mutually agreeing that enough had been said. They finished off their smokes, and with that, she turned to go.

“Bye, Roger.”

He bit his lip, feeling the sting shoot through him. He was conflicted on if to make a move, not wanting to diminish his confident and cool reputation he believed he had built for himself. He settled for shouting something along the lines of “will I see you around?” (which upon thinking back over it, maybe it wasn’t that cool), to which she only shrugged and kept walking.

He could hear the bottles loudly clanking together as she sauntered off, lord knows where to. He watched her go until she turned the corner, tossing one final look in his direction before continuing on, leaving him in deep thought.

-

“I’m telling you, mate, she was drop dead gorgeous. And I have no idea who she is, no name or anything!”

Brian rolled his eyes, tossing his notebook across the room onto the yellow sofa Roger was resting on, turning his full attention to his distraught friend.

“Well, did you ask her for her name?”

He shook his head, rolling his eyes in a similar manner to Bri. “Yes, I did. She said it was ‘none of my business’.” He scoffed, twirling a single drumstick between his fingers while tapping his foot repeatedly, annoying Brian to no end (per usual). The curly headed man only barked out a laugh, finding the entire situation quite humorous, if he was being honest.

“But she knew the band! Said that she thought we were good. S’ like she couldn’t make up her damn mind.” He grumbled, slumping forward.

“Wait, she knows the band?”

The drummer looked at him like he had two heads nodding slowly.

“Yeah, what about it?”

Brian stood up and sighed, grabbing his guitar and headed to the edge of the bar’s stage, resting behind the curtain briefly.

“You really are thick, Roger.”

“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?” He joined him by the curtain, noticing Tim had come up behind the pair.

“What’s all this about, then?”

“Nothing.” Brian and Roger replied in unison. Tim huffed, making his way onto the stage where the growing crowd was waiting. Cheers could be heard for the frontman as he introduced himself, saying something about how the rest of the band would be out in a second, and that they were just having some “sound issues”.

“Rog, if she’s a fan, she’s probably here tonight, yes?”

His eyes widened, and he suddenly began to feel quite dumb, not that he would admit it.

“Yeah, I suppose so…but she said she wasn’t a fan?” He trailed off, confused.

“She probably was just saying that for some reason. I don’t know, women are odd, they like to play hard to get.” Brian commented, oddly flippant for how conflicting his statement was.

Roger stood in place for a moment, still greatly confused what Brian was trying to get at. He shook his head and furrowed his brows, trying to put together the puzzle of this mess in his mind.

“Roger, for God's sake, don’t think about it, just go.”

Following his advice, Roger did his best to disregard any previous thoughts of confusion, a switch flipping in his mind. He stood taller, saying, “You know what Bri, maybe you’re right.”

“Great, go on then.” He watched as Roger bounded out with a newfound adrenaline and a smile plastered on his face, rolling his eyes for what wouldn’t be the final time that night at his bandmate’s antics.

As soon as he had made it behind his kit, he was scanning the crowded room, trying to locate the girl from last night. He watched the door throughout the performance, trying to see if she might have just come in a bit late. He held the hope she would somehow show up with him in his mind, but all to no avail.

The entire night, he couldn’t shake the thought of her lips from his mind, or the way the skin of her neck was so open and exposed, practically begging for him to attack it with his own lips. And with the way things were going thus far, he was sure that pretty face of her’s would be the death of him, he was certain, in fact.

“Find her?” Bri had questioned almost as soon as they had ended for the night, the lot of them now working on cleaning up.

“Nah. She never showed up.”

“I’m sorry, Rog. Maybe you’ll see her again soon, the campus isn’t that huge, you know.” Roger’s mouth formed a thin line as he raised his eyebrows, not convinced in the slightest that the situation proposed would occur.

“At this point I’m wondering if she’s even a bloody student here.” Roger grumbled, obviously no longer feeling the initial electric adrenaline of the night's performance.

Brian frowned, placing a sympathetic hand on his friend's shoulder and patting it once or twice before standing to go finish packing up.

It was later now, and the boys were finally leaving the bar, bidding their goodbyes to those around them. Roger walked out the front (in what Tim and Brian joked was a ‘moping manner’), hearing the bell jangle above his head, ringing annoyingly in his ear. The cold air hit him like an arctic breeze (or a ton of bricks, he wasn’t sure which description was more fitting). He shook his head and blinked a few times, as if that would rid his body of the frigid feeling. He sighed dramatically and pulled his corduroy jacket tighter around himself, watching as his breath made a small cloud in front of him.

“Roger?”

He turned, recognizing the voice immediately.

“Having a pity party, are you?” She giggled out, wrapping her arms around her middle.

“It’s only me, so no. Not a party.”

She “ahh”-d in understanding, her mouth forming into a sly grin. Her lips were a pale pink color that night, her eyes a bright blue shade. And similarly to the night previous, she was graced with only a brown fringed dress, her matching boots in one hand, a lit cigarette in the other.

“Then what would it be if I joined you?”

He stood in thought, tilting his head. “I think then, yeah, it would be a party.”

“Do you not get cold, ever?” He added after a beat of silence, observing her ill outfit choice for the frosty climate. She rolled her eyes, muttering out a brief “ha, ha.”

Roger couldn’t help but bite his lip, holding back a laugh.

“I do on occasion get a little bit chilly. But I like the feeling.”

He tilted his head, walking over to where she was leaning against the brick wall of the dive bar. He turned to face her, not that she noticed, putting his weight on the rough surface behind him.

“It makes me feel,” she hesitated, struggling to find the right word, although she felt it was right on the tip of her tongue.

“Alive?”

She finally met his eyes after what seemed like forever, softly nodding. To him, she looked like an angel in that moment, the street light so beautifully illuminating her locks like a halo around her. He reached a cautious hand forward, dragging it against her cheek, down to her bottom lip.

Her mind was screaming at her to leave while she still could, to somehow not fall in the mix of the infamous campus player that was Roger Taylor.

But her heart? Well, as cliche as it sounds, her heart was telling her to disregard any reasonable thoughts and just kiss the bastard, for God’s sake.

And if anyone knew Y/n Y/l/n, they knew that most times, she would listen to the latter mentioned, rather than the former. And so after several moments of unbearable silence, she decided she would. Catching on relatively fast, Roger took her flush against him, Y/n able to feel his breath fanning over her face.

She leaned forward with a small smile, placing her hands on either side of his face. Her eyes wandered to his plump and rosy lips, adrenaline pumping through her veins. But before she could make the final leap, so to say, Brian, of all people, called out her name in a confused nature, squinting, believing that it might have been his eyes deceiving him. The girl from his 9 a.m. lecture could not possibly be about to snog his bandmate.

Impossible.

Her eyes widened, head turning immediately when hearing her name fall from his lips.

“Brian, hey!”

“Wait, you two know each other?”

Ignoring Roger’s (panicked) question, Brian walked over, a look of amazement still prevalent in his features. She moved from Roger’s side over to Brian, giving him a side hug, Bri’s arm resting on her shoulders.

“I see you’ve met Y/n. She’s in my astronomy class.”

She smiled brightly as the neon signs lining the downtown district of bars and restaurants alike, meeting Brians gaze.

“Yup, got to love Dr. Martin’s lectures.” She chuckled, the tall man next to her doing the same.

Picking up on Roger’s absolutely bewildered appearance, still taking in the situation unfolding in front of him, Brian took the liberty of initiating another conversation.

“So, Y/n, did you see the show tonight?”

She frowned, crossing her arms.

“Wanted to, but no, got caught up in the library. I have my final for statistics on Thursday, or else I would have been there.” She locked eyes with Roger, giving him a soft smile. Suddenly changing her demeanor, she reached into her bag she always seemed to have with her, pulling out those cheap cigarettes and her Zippo. She lit one of the sticks, inhaling.

“In fact, I heard your drummer was incredible, so I thought I would try to see him in action tonight.” Her gaze never left Rogers as she conversed, her mouth pressed in a line, the rest of her face completely neutral.

“But you’ve seen us before Y/n, he’s been with the band for quite some time.”

“I mean, I wanted to see him with a fresh pair of eyes, a different perspective, I guess.”

Still mildly confused, Brain shook his head and muttered something like “Right, okay” to which Y/n softly smiled at before dropping the cigarette from her hand. Barefoot, she couldn’t reach down to step on it, have the sparks die out under her toes.

“Could one of you get that, please?”

Roger nodded immediately, his boot finding its way quickly, the toe of it making a circular motion. His eyes stayed on Y/n, as had hers before. And despite the bustling city around them, Hell, even despite Brian’s perplexed stare, it felt oddly intimate, as if they were locked onto each other’s view (not that they were complaining).

But they weren’t, as she proved mere seconds later, abruptly bidding them goodbye and heading the opposite direction.

The pair of boys watched her as she went, heads tilted and jaws dropped to where if their mothers were present, they would be scolded to “close their mouths before they catch flies in there!”.

“That’s her, you know.” Roger commented bluntly, slightly shaking his head and then popping his lip.

Brian took a moment, turning toward his friend, stuttering.

“As in, her, her? Y/n is mystery girl?” He laughed, shaking his head in disbelief. “Yeah, well, good luck with that, Rog.”

“Why would I need that, Brian?” He challenged, putting his hands on his hips, lifting his chin. Brain kept his assumed position, moving his hand to scratch at his neck.

‘Well, I’m sure if you hang out around her enough, you’ll find out.”

Rather than shouting out at him, asking him what the Hell he meant, as he really wanted to, Roger paid Bri no attention, not even giving him a second look before under his breath saying “I’ll see you later”, and in what Brian considered to be a quite shocking turn of events, bolting off in the direction Y/n had gone.

He ignored the shouts from Brian, ignored the judgmental stares and loud whispers of those who recognized him from the band. He no longer cared about keeping his ‘cool reputation’, not when she was so close.

“Is that Roger Taylor?”, “Oi, isn’t that the drummer from the band at the pub?”, “Hey, why’s he buggin’ out?” all flooded his ears, usually followed by what seemed to be snickering, making a desperate attempt to cloud his mind from his self-assigned mission. But it was no use, as he was set on catching up to her. In fact, she was so close he swore he could smell the mixed scent that was uniquely her, smoke and her perfume.

He hollered her name, God, he yelled it till his throat was hoarse, just ‘cause he could. He loved the way it rolled off his tongue, he loved the fact he even had learned it to begin with, and that alone was probably why he adored it so much.

She heard his cries, turning where she stood and tilting her head.

“Roger? What on Earth are you doing?”

He finally met her, bent over on his hands and knees, breath lost in totality. She placed a concerned hand on his sweaty head, combing through his chocolate locks. He would have shivered at the feeling, if he had the energy. Rather, he looked up with the goofiest smile she’d ever seen, resembling a golden retriever, or german shepherd perhaps, in human form.

‘D’you wanna go somewhere with me? Hang out a bit?”

She nodded, holding out a hand.

“Lead the way.”

-

“Mom and Dad want me to be some kind of a scientist, study the stars.”

“Yeah? And what do you think about that.”

She tilted her head, shifting her position.

“I’m not quite sure. I wouldn’t be against it, that I know. The stars are beautiful, but they aren’t where my heart lies, I guess.”

He turned to face her, their noses almost touching. She could feel his breath fanning over her face, and the proximity sent butterflies through her stomach.

“I want to be an actress.” She all but whispered, turning her attention back to the full night sky and the wonders that hung in it.

“An actress, huh?”

She only hummed a confirmation, moving her left hand to pick at the cool grass under her palms.

“I could see that. You, I mean, on the big screens.”

She turned, and Roger swore he had never seen anyone smile so big before in his life.

“Really?”

His own smile grew, and she nodded vigorously, the two of them beginning to laugh. He pulled her closer by her shoulders, unaware of where the conversation would lead.

“I’ll go to New York. You’ll see me on billboards in Times Square.”

“Well, that’s nice to know. I’ll just be a lone dentist somewhere, while you forget all about me, having lavish parties and such. Whatever it is that famous people do.” His voice was obviously joking, melodramatic was written all over him, yet Y/n couldn’t help but still feel a sliver of guilt.

She hit his arm, rolling back over to face him. She still had a smile glued onto her lips, both of their eyes crinkling at the edges. 

“Oh, shut up, will you? Smile will make it big, and we’ll meet again, when you’re on tour. Or perhaps if I’m filming where you’re performing! We’ll have those nights to ourselves, It’ll be a secret rendezvous.”

She turned to her back again, finding his hand on the damp green, her heart beating a million miles a second as she reached for it, slowly entangling her fingers in his.

“The papers will write about us, Rog, when they find out. ‘Famous actress Y/n Y/l/n seen leaving a hotel with renowned drummer Roger Taylor’ is what the headlines will say. God, what a scene we’ll cause.” Her eyes were full of  excitement as she spoke, her heart feeling like it was so filled with glee that it could soar out of her chest.

“Well, I wanna know the specifics.” Roger sat up, pulling her up with him, she giggled, and the brunette wrapped a hand around her waist. She sat beside him, the streetlight by the backroad she had led them on illuminating her like a silhouette. She bit her lip and grinned, tilting her head up to better exam Rogers angelic features.

“Are you gonna have some bloke waiting for you at home, hmm? Waiting for you while you conquer the world, only for you to break his poor heart?”

“Nah.” Her answer was immediate, her eyes honest as she spoke. “Only a cactus. He’ll be my only friend. I hear it’s lonely in Hollywood, Roger.” He raised his eyebrows briefly at this, choosing his next words.

“You’ll have me?”

His head turned to look at her, admiring the way the pale moonlight illuminated her, the artificial light from the streetlamps not doing her neverending beauty and justice, in his opinion. Their eyes seemed sporadic, searching each other's faces for signs of what they were doing, possibly being wrong, but they found nothing, as expected.

The yearning had become all too much for the inspired pair, and it felt like at last, all they could do, the only thing they could do, was kiss.

So they did. Roger took her face in his hands, closing his beautiful eyes, his eyelashes barely brushing against hers. He leaned forward, joining them together, finding that they immediately moved in a perfect synchronization. They were like two sides of the same coin, and that seemed to be particularly evident in that moment. By the contrast of their lips, or perhaps the aspirations of their careers becoming somehow just a little bit clearer.

But it didn’t matter, none of it did. Not in the long run. So they pulled apart, chests heaving and faces painted with childish grins.

It was quiet then, only the crickets and the howling wind could be heard. But she liked it that way, preferred it, actually. So quiet, in fact, that Roger was able to fall fast asleep, Y/n lying comfortably in his arms. She stared at the stars, then back to his sleeping figure, her mind unable to come to a consensus on what on God's green Earth she was to do. 

She settled for placing a kiss on his jaw, closing her eyes. His eyes only fluttered, never waking completely. She muttered something like “See you, rockstar.” against it, before standing up and walking away, only turning back once to see his sleeping form one more time.

That was the last time for 6 years that he would see Y/n Y/l/n. See her in person, at least.

When he woke up the next morning, he was confused to say the least, wondering why Y/n didn’t wake him, mostly wondering where she had even gone. He looked around himself, patting the green grass beneath him, as if she somehow was invisible and he had missed her upon initial glance. He had shouted for her, his throat still hurting from when he did the same thing only 12 hours previous. 

He had felt out of control, like the one he had been chasing had just slipped through his fingers (which it had). He had remembered asking Bri, day after day, if he had seen her in class, even just seen her around in general. Everytime the answer was the same.

“No Roger”, “I’m sorry, Roger”, “Not today, Roger”. It was a horrible, predictable pattern, that he had enough of. He was supposed to recover from it quickly, bounce back from her almost immediately, as there was basically nothing to bounce back from.

But he couldn’t, and due to such reasons, he supposed he finally understood what Brian had said, or warned, that night before he had gone chasing after her. He got it, in his own sad way.

And over the years, she slowly faded to the back of the drummer's mind, behind groupies, and songs, and shows, and such, just for her to resurface again any time he saw her on a billboard, just as she had promised. But he never let it show, outwardly at least.

He had made Brian swear not to tell the others, never to breathe a word of it to Deaky or Fred. He was embarrassed by it, for some reason, and that’s why he guessed he forbade him from speaking of it. But how long can you keep a silly college secret from your nosy bandmates? Apparently 6 years, tops, for Roger Taylor.

“Alright, everyone. Gather ‘round, I’ve got a surprise.” Freddie had said, his grumbling bunch of friends tired from their day’s work. Though, they usually had grown to appreciate and look forward to Fred’s “surprises”, today everyone was just a tad bit too grumpy to try (a certain Roger Taylor in particular, let’s call it foreshadowing).

“Oh, stop your moaning and whining, please, I promise this will be good!” the eccentric frontman had said, something hidden behind his back in his left hand.

Rog ran a hand through his, now, blond hair, exhaling in such a way that made Freddie slant his eyes, before giving in and rolling them at his flippant behavior.

“What’s going on, Fred?” Brian had been the brave soul to ask, stepping forward and then looking away momentarily to place his guitar onto a stand waiting not so far away.

“I thought you’d never ask.” He replied, jumping down from his place on the risers, removing his hand from his back and holding out what seemed to be 4 tickets to something. He walked down the loosely formed line of men, putting one in each of their extended palms. Roger, at the end of their formation of sorts, became concerned when Brian had burst out laughing, looking to his right, being met with Roger’s face of confusion.

Freddie, possibly more confused than Roger, pressing the piece of thick paper into his hand, his gaze falling onto Brian, who now had tears in his eyes.

“Bri, what’s so… funny. Shit.” He had looked down to the slip, the only words he needed to read to know he was absolutely screwed, being “Jaws” and “Premiere”.

Now, anybody who knew anything, knew that Y/n Y/l/n was going to be in the film that was said to become the blockbuster of the summer, playing the role of Ellen Brody (though a few had said she was far too young for the job). She had been an overnight success in the film industry, gaining popularity from the 1973 film, ‘The Sting’, playing Billie.

And Roger had watched ‘The Sting’, and you can imagine his surprise when Y/n had sauntered onto screen, red lipped and fresh faced. (He had to admit, she looked great in a suit.)

After that, the assault on Roger’s fragile heart was never ending.

Billboards began to pop up even more frequently as she was to star in more films, and it seemed no matter where he was touring, he couldn’t escape her. Whether it was posters, her face printed on newspapers, adverts in about every place business was done for one of her films, he felt like he was being followed. He had even seen an article about her in a magazine, and when he had flipped the page he was greeted with Queen’s smiling faces.

He had stopped watching them after ‘American Graffiti’.

So, he figured that this one wouldn’t be any different, and he simply planned on ignoring said film until he caved, doing his best to avoid her on the silver screen and anywhere else, which hadn’t been too difficult until this point (not).

But this? This was a whole new level of being royally fucked.

“Brian, Rog, something you want to share with the rest of the class?” John had asked, cocking his head and propping his legs up on the coffee table in front of him. Brian began to speak, wrapping an arm around Roger’s shoulders, the shorter man looking up at him with angry fire burning in his eyes.

“Well, I’m honestly quite excited. The film industry has always seemed very intriguing, actually, and I’m looking forward to meeting new people. Rog?”

“No.”

“No?” John repeated, “No, what?” He waved a hand around, trying to understand what Roger’s problem was.

“I just- I don’t- I knew-”

“Roger had a fling with Y/n Y/l/n and she broke his heart.” Brain blurted out, Roger turning and immediately smacking him upside his curly head of hair. He regarded an “Ouch!” before him and the rest of the boys burst out laughing, the drummer not included in that demographic, fuming.

“Rog, darling, when was this? How did we not know?” Freddie managed to breathe out, sitting down next to Deaky on the studio sofa. He crossed his hands and ankles, his full attention turned towards Roger who really, really didn’t wanna have to do this, and who really, really was gonna get Brian back for this later. Would he untune all his guitars? Unplug his amp during rehearsals, perhaps put hair remover in his shampoo? But, that would have to wait until after he was forced to spill his 6 year secret.

“It was in 69-”

“69?!” Freddie had cried out. “It’s been 6 bloody years? And you didn’t think to tell us?”

“Well I didn’t really see a reason it would be necessary to tell you all! In fact, I probably wouldn’t have told you ever if this bloke didn’t have such a big mouth!”

“Hey, watch it.” Brian weighed in, crossing his arms and fluttering his eyes.

“Look, Roger I really don’t see the issue here. We go to the premiere, you just keep a low profile and ignore Y/n, problem solved.” John cut in, trying to be helpful.

Keyword: trying.

“And how exactly will I do that?”

“We will behave, I promise.” Freddie added, though Roger seemed to be having a difficult time believing him or his claim for the others. So Roger only scoffed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Yeah, I’m sure you will.”

-

Cameras were flashing brightly, reporters and such were shouting loudly, and Y/n was already exhausted.

Her red lips were painted like DeAngelo had done it himself, and her hair was styled just the way she liked. The heels she was wearing per request of her stylist, though, were horrible. They looked lovely, yes, but they were digging into her poor ankles, and she still had to wear them for who knew how long. She didn’t complain, though, she wouldn’t dream of it.

She would just continue her slow walk down the carpet, a sultry smile on her face. The black fabric of the gown she was wearing fit her beautifully, snug in all the right places.

She sure hoped it was, at least. Especially because she knew that he would be there.

Roger Taylor, the blessed drummer that managed to make a home in the backburner of her mind, his success coming as no surprise to the actress. She had loved every one of their records, and rather than running from his work like Roger had, she opted for going straight to the record shop, purchasing any and every Queen album in her sight. When she had checked out, the very shocked cashier had made some remark, asking something about “you a fan?”

She had thought about it for a moment, thinking back to all those years ago when Roger had asked the same thing. She smiled, shrugging.

“Yeah, you could say that.”

So when she had worked up the courage to invite the entire band to the premiere (on behalf of Spielberg, of course) she was a nervous wreck to find out they had accepted. Really, ask anyone who had any contact with her in the time from then to the premiere, they could testify that her moodiness had risen like a hot air balloon.

Now, though, she was kind of regretting that she had invited them, looking over to the sharp looking bunch, all dressed to the nines. She scanned her eyes over them, catching a wave from Brian, which she gladly returned with an enthusiastic smile. Bri then tapped Roger on the shoulder to alert him of Y/n’s acknowledgment, which resulted in Y/n’s eyes widening to the size of moons.

She turned her head, and worked to finish up her walk of the carpet just a tad bit faster. It all seemed to be for nothing, though, as in the dark of the theater for the premiere itself, she saw the seat next to her be filled, a presence filling her senses.

“Miss me?”

-

Their hands were all over each other, not truly caring if the tabloids caught a glimpse, just needing to make up for lost time.

They had stumbled into the golden hotel both her and Queen were staying in, the swinging doors of the New York establishment blowing a cool gust of wind in their direction.

They merely laughed at the minor interruption, their teeth clashing as they both smiled momentarily. It was soon forgotten, though, both of them having much more pressing matters in their minds.

They only came to a cease in the elevator, some old couple who most definitely did not care about whatever pressing issue the two of them felt they had, standing off to the side. (Y/n could swear she saw the older woman smirk and wink at her, to which she cocked her head and smiled.)

Once back into the safe confines of Y/n’s suite, they resumed like they had never even stopped, hands gravitating towards the others form as if they were opposite magnets, unable to be separated for too long.

“You’ve driven me crazy, you know that, right? “

She giggled and bit her lip, looking up into his eyes, their foreheads pressed together.

“Mmm? I’d hope so.”

He pulled away, shaking his head, blond locks following suit.

“Really, you have no idea. I haven’t been able to shake you from my head. You’re everywhere.”

Her excitement could barely be contained at his confession of sorts, chest heaving, trying to stay calm.

“Yeah, that was the plan.”

Roger shook his head with a dry chuckle, looking to his feet and back to her when she had tilted his head up, her finger resting on his jaw.

“Well, are you into it?” She questioned, grabbing his hand and pulling their clasped fingers in between their chests, her eyes hazy with hope.

“Yeah.” He titled his head, feigning a pondering look. “You could say I’m kinda into it.”

“Shut it!”

“Make me.”

She rolled her eyes at his stupidly provocative suggestion, and he only laughed, the two of them falling onto the plush comfort of the bed in a meshed flurry for the remainder of the night.

And if you couldn’t guess what could have possibly happened next, the black dress ended up in a pooled up pile next to the bed that night, right next to the heels that finally she had the pleasure of discarding.

The next morning, it was unlike the one 6 years ago, as when Roger woke up, he was overjoyed to find a sleeping Y/n, laying on his chest with hair splayed around her. And he had to say, he usually wasn’t much of a cuddler, but for some reason he felt so incredibly endeared, that anything else wouldn’t have sufficed.

He ran small circles on the exposed skin of her bare shoulder, the comforter concealing the rest of her limbs that were tangled up with Roger’s.

When she stirred, Roger sat up, fondly watching as her eyes fluttered open and her tongue ran across her dried lips, still carrying a hint of last night's red pigment. She looked next to her, her eyeline matching up with the covered skin of Roger’s lap.

She sighed, shifting her head to rest on his thighs as her feet dangled off of the bed. One of Roger’s hands came up to softly massage the top of her head, the other against the headboard, behind his neck. She stared at the ceiling, an unreadable expression creeping its way to her features.

“We were jacked up last night.” Roger’s voice cut through the silence they shared, deeper in the late morning than she had heard before.

“Correction, you were jacked up.”

“Whatever.”

They laughed, silence soon taking over once again. Roger sighed, closing his ever tired eyes.

“Are we gonna pay for this?”

She scoffed, inhaling deeply before reaching over to the nightstand, grabbing her carton of cigarettes. He noticed they were the same brand from college, a small smile making its way to his face at the thought.

She first lit hers, then lighting a second one for the man occupying her king sized bed (though she wasn’t even slightly upset by this, quite the opposite). She handed it to him, sticking her own between her lips and sitting up, straddling where her head had been minutes before.

She leaned forward, so close their noses were to the point where they were nearly touching. She took the cigarette from her lips, blowing the smoke to the left of Rog in the direction of the large balcony overlooking Times Square. She turned her attention back to him, though it had never really left, tilting her head.

“Do you regret it?”

“No.” The answer came immediately, no careful consideration or pondering needed.

“Right.” She removed herself from him, standing and taking the sheet with her, letting it cover her like a renaissance dress. She walked over to the balcony, leaning against the frame of the double doors. She took another drag, an adoring smile spreading across her face.

“Then there’s your answer.”

She paused, Roger tilted his head, his brows lifting.

“Of course we will.”

✺🎬✺

if u liked that hot mess pls like and rb!! mwah ily go eat protein and drink water if ur able. xx hj

#brunet roger RIGHTS #ben!roger #ben hardy! roger taylor x reader #ben hardy x reader #roger taylor x reader #ben hardy fanfic #ben hardy imagine #ben hardy x you #ben hardy x y/n #ben hardy x female reader #ben hardy x yn #ben hardy x reader fluff #ben hardy x reader smut #roger taylor x reader fluff #roger taylor x you #borhap #borhap fic #borhap imagine #borhap x reader #ben hardy fluff #ben hardy smut #ben jones x reader #roger taylor fluff #idk why i tried to make it so aesthetic ew #we will rock queue

[kurtty-drabbles]

Justicar Verse au (part 3)

N/A: As I mentioned before. I want to make this in 5 parts IF possible. I want to move the plot further and see if I can do this in 5 pieces. I want to show more of this world and its character.

@dannybagpipesarecalling @djinmer4 @bamfoftheundead @everykurt @muninandhugin

Brian wears the Justicar uniform and is not a demotion on his part as the Justicar uniform and Captain Britain are almost similar to the point of being a meme-maybe, it is a meme. Brian recalls how Steve Rogers not so subtle mentions this little and even suggests changes to Brian´s uniforms and is politely rejected as Brian points out ''Captain Britain exists way before Captain US" and even points out how Captain Brazil doesn´t seem to even want to wear a uniform and is doing better than the rest- and right now, all Brian can do is put his poker face and march on this area.

"Halt, who are you?" the voice of a fellow Justicar only makes Brian clench his fist hard enough to the point is getting white now. The man comes closer and asks for identification. Brian hands the ID and the man reads the paper and snaps his eyes to Brian´s face. "Something is not right here...I´ll ask you to leave"

Brian sighs and only nods saying. "And I´ll have to ask sorry for this" and he punches the Justicar knocking him out- thankfully of his medical background is easy to testify the man is not in real harm and this makes Brian sigh in relief- and Brian continues to walk around the area. "I´m sorry" he speaks one last time to the man. "But my sister is hiding something and I´m Captain Britain and I´m here to protect everyone...not a few" and with this, the man looks to the orange place.

And only closes his eyes as he witnesses the discrepancy in her sister´s story. Brian took a photo from his pocket and read the description. "a nice place for all the magical creatures to stay while Justicars protect them" and Brian looks to the cruel reality. "Oh my God..."

"Yeah...Oh My God" a feminine voice speaks and Brian only had time to see a blonde woman lifting her arms and shooting an energy attack knocking Brian out. "I can´t believe it works...Brian, you´re a fool" Meggan Puceanu states and takes his body without breaking a sweat. As she flies away from the now devastated camp- not wanting to remember bad memories of this place nor want to give leads of her whereabouts, Meggan cast the spell but with one problem- and Meggan has to bite her lips for a moment.

"Damn...how Wanda uses that spell?" and finally it comes to her mind. "Oh right. Do not reveal the truth...let them still think the prisoners are still on death row" and now that the prison looks full again with prisoners waiting for death. Meggan can leave.

The Justicar that was knocked down wakes up and snaps his eyes open and using his telekinesis summon the telephone to his hand. "This is Justicar 444. We have a problem...Captain Brittain was here" and the person on the other side give an order. "no, all the prisoners are still on the place...understood. Time to kill them...and Captain Britain? I see...Understood, All glory for Justicar and our leader"

__________________________________________________________________________________________

Justicar Bull is not strange to mix work with pleasure- there´s a rumor she tried to slept with Captain Britain and no one ever denies this claim- but, even so, Justicar Bull knows the difference in an innocent flirt and whatever Kurt Cadbury does when Kitty Pryde is around. Again, what one does in their private life is entirely on them and Justicar Bull knows people love a man or woman in uniform, but, again...it has limits that no one should cross.

Justicar Bull crosses her arms and even though she´s using her helmet is possible to feel her cold stare. Kurt Cadbury finishes his task- talking with the survivors and getting leads about U Go Girl and what will happen to the cure- and now walks bravely to his boss. "Justicar Bull"

"Cadbury...we got another video of you doing sexual role play with that cute woman" Justicar Bull didn´t let him speak "Look, I get it. She´s cute and who can say no to a man in uniform...but this is getting ridiculous. You can´t go around accusing anyone to be Shadowcat" and now her tone is tired. "I know you want to catch her ...but you´re not helping the cause by being so obvious"

Kurt Cadbury. "I´m not ...wait, people think me and Kitty are a thing?" and Justicar Bull shows her phone showing how social media show the famous bachelor is head over feels for the normal human, Kitty Pryde.

"Wait...am I a meme?!"

"Yes"

Human? You´re that good...or am I that bad?

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Prof Charles Xavier can walk- there´s an old rumor going around that Magneto did cripple him and how convenient this rumor did spread when Magneto tried to join the politic life of Justicar- and offers his smile that shines as much his bald hair. Magneto is present as well and can play the game as his mouth twists into a smile mimicking Prof X nicely.

"It seems we´re here again, my old friend" Magneto´s tone is sharp but not impolite. "Still believe in your vision of humans and mutants co-existing?" Magneto asked in his dubious tone.

Prof X drops the smile. "Yes, and you´re still holding on old wounds, my old friend?" Xavier asked in a forlon tone full of pity and sadness for Magneto.

Elisabeth Braddock enters in the room-asking permission as any proper British lady should- and has great news for them. "New Mutants were located in the asteroid M and we have proof those mutants are Omega level or better saying" Betsy looks impressed for a moment as she took her time to speak. "above omega level"

And she bows her head in respect as the two men nod at her information and let her leave as now the two powerful mutants on this planet have to talk what´s the best course to follow here. In the end, it was agreed they must leave as soon as it is possible and no one needs to know about mutants above omega level.

No one notices Betsy Braddock smiling as she gives messages to her Justicar. "You know what to do next"

And Wanda Maximoff was drinking her tea when the TV announces the explosion of the ship where Magneto and Prof X were. Scarlet Witch has no feelings for her abusive father, while, Wanda is not entirely happy with his death.  "If he´s truly dead...who will be the next ruler?" and Quicksilver enters in her house for once is too late to give a piece of information to his twin.

___________________________________________________________________________________________

Kitty Pryde watches the news with a serious look on her face. Yana is on her side-still looking adorable and evil at the same time and Kitty wonders how powerful and scary an adult Yana would be- analyzing the situation. "The real boss is moving fast...no more Magneto or Prof X...means this person has total control over everything...meaning...every mutant or human must play her game or else..." Yana has a macabre tone and is fitting for such a revelation. No pretense of being a cutesy girl now.

"And this only means one thing..." Kitty trails off as her mind is already thinking in many scenarios and possibilities. Yet,  she didn't conclude her sentence as someone else does.

"We know who is behind this..." Gloriana says to the tied up Brian Braddock who is without his powers thanks to Meggan have taken his medallion. The man´s face scream resignation as he completes for Meggan.

"My sister, Elisabeth Braddock is behind this..."

"Yes...we know this for years now...and now, you finally know too"

#justicar verse au #kurt cadbury #kurtty #Elisabeth is the bad guy #kitty pryde #meggan puceanu #Illyana Rasputin #No more Magneto and Prof X #There´re no mutants there just to add insult to the injury #Betsy knows how their egos are or were #Bull is Courtney and yes she would totally try to sleep with Kitty if she could #and yes she did slept with Brian #I think Betsy is not happy as I view her with a bro-con here

[grimelords]

The hits just don’t stop coming!

My May playlist is finished and it’s only almost one month late! Everything you want and nothing you don’t from Nicki Minaj, the band that did the OC theme song and Italian Adele. What more could you ask for! 

Listen here!

Curious - Amerie: Amerie, who sang the world's greatest song 1 Thing and unfortunately never had any other good songs, surprise released a 22 minute album called 4AM Mulholland and a companion EP that was 20 minutes long called After 4AM last year. I don't know why she didn't just release one normal length album but anyway, because she's Amerie people weren't exactly eagerly awaiting a surprise release album from her so it came and went pretty quickly. This song though is really very good and sets a really nice midnight smoky tone that the whole rest of the album/EP unfortunately fails to really live up to. I also found out in my research that Amerie is also apparently a semi-influential book vlogger 'BookTuber' and last year edited a book of YA short stories where other BookTubers 'reimagined fairy tales from the oft-misunderstood villains' points of view. She's got heaps going on.

Vipers Follow You - Amon Tobin: Amon Tobin has lost his damn mind yet again. His last album was 8 years ago and it sounded like a hardware test for a new kind of million dollar sound system. Every single type of sound and frequency was crammed into it and it felt like a sound sculture that could physically attack you rather than an album that you listened to for fun. Now his new album sounds like the direct opposite. There's no drums on it at all and it's all stripped back thick and smooth acoustic-modelled textures and it's very nice. This song is a good example of the album feel overall: not exactly ambient or laid-back, but definite night music from a guy who has gone all the way from chillout trip-hop to walls of hydraulic noise over his career and it's always such a thrill to hear people pushing forward in their sound 9 albums in.

Do The Panic - Phantom Planet: Phantom Planet who famously did the theme song for The OC have reformed and released their first new song in ten years. This isn't that song but there was a bunch of people in the comments on the Stereogum article about it saying they were and underrated band and their 2008 album Raise The Dead has bangers and guess what: they were right!

Roman Holiday - Nicki Minaj: Roman Holiday reentered the billboard charts last month because it became relevant again via people putting it in memes where they would play a sped up version of the song over sped up videos of.. anything really. It's not a very good meme but I thank god for it because otherwise I would never have learned that it's a very good song. I also think there's a very interesting lesson to be learned here about Nicki Minaj because she premiered this song at the 2012 Grammys before Roman Reloaded came out with an elaborate Exorcist routine and everyone hated this extremely weird song and extremely weird performance so it was scrapped as the first single and they put out Starships instead. Nicki Minaj seem to me like an artist that has always struggled to ride the line between pop marketability and doing their own unique thing in much the same way as Eminem, and just like Eminem she's eventually settled in to a very safe and marketable version of herself. Roman Holiday is a glimpse of the Nicki That Could Have been that just starts singing Come All Ye Faithful in the middle of a song and does the chorus in an extremely dodgy British accent. There's a good bit on the wiki for this song that quotes Jessica Hooper's Spin review that says "the pop tracks are a paying of the piper and the too-perfect, Dr. Luke-produced songs are her penance for sneaking deranged yodeling ode 'Roman Holiday' in there." More deranged yodelling odes please Nicki!

Cousins - Vampire Weekend: I've never gotten into Vampire Weekend for an unknown reason. I like every song I've heard of theirs I've just never properly sat down and listened to an album and appreciated it until Father Of The Bride this year. I have however always loved Cousins. It’s got a completely deranged riff, the drums sound like their going to catch fire and it ends with chiming bells. It’s completely off the rails and I think the video is one of my favourites ever for just simply matching the tone of the song and the performance.

Lost Your Number - Nu Shooz: On the episode of R U Talkin' R.E.M Re: Me? with Ezra Koenig they were talking about grunge and the early 90s and how music that had 'authenticity' suddently became so popular. Scott's reasoning was that by the late 80s pop music had become so incredibly vaccuous and bad that people were yearning for anything with meaning. He said 'pop was so bad, stuff like Nu Shooz' and I immediately remembered how fucking good Nu Shooz are and paused the podcast to listen to them instead. This is an absolutely great song because the lyrics never rise above linear storytelling. 'I lost your number' is not a metaphor for lost contact or leaving someone or anything like that. This whole song is about trying to call someone but you've lost the piece of paper that you wrote their phone number on. She even describes the paper like maybe you the listener have seen it around somewhere, I absolutey love it.

Paper Trail$ - Joey Bada$$: Joey Bada$$ is a goon but he has good songs sometimes. If he wasn't a famous rapper he would be working full time in reddit arguments where people rank members of the Wu-Tang Clan. He's one of these 'real hip hop' 'lyrical miracle' guys and he even goes so far as to rework C.R.E.A.M in this song to say cash RUINS everything around me :O but this beat is nice as hell and I woke up with the bit where says 'shit is really real out here' repeating in my head.

Julien - Carly Rae Jepsen: I'm really loving this new Carly Rae album. It's not as heavy on hits as Emotion obviously but it's more even overall and has a lot more to dig into I think. I just keep listening to it. This song especially is so nice because it's a great example of how you only need two chords to get something extremely funky going.

Rock Non Stop - Cassius: Cassius finally have another great song! The nearly two minute choral intro is such genius because of how suddenly and forcefully it drops you into the middle of the most boneheaded dance song I've heard in a long time. Two different silly voices going back and forth with each other saying 'rock non stop' and 'gimme the good time', who could ask for anything more?

Just as I was about to publish this I saw the news that Phillipe Zdar died which is so sad! Just as they started releasing fantastic new music! So now this song is tinged with that sort of sadness which is unfair because it’s such a fun and silly piece of music, it doesn’t deserve to hold that kind of weight.

DOLO 5 - Dolo Percussion: This Dolo Percussion album absolutely astounded me. No melody! Just drums! For an hour and a half! It's a complete world of its own and you can get totally lost in the depths of it. Every song has a completely unique palette and it never ever feels boring like percussion focused music sometimes can, it's constantly evolving in every track and never settles into anything for too long. Things just come and go so naturally it feels like actually trying to figure out the structure of these songs would be impossible. There's a few moments where there's a hint of a bassline or melody in a some of the later songs and it completely shakes you up, like seeing sunlight again after years of absolutely thriving in the dark.

Song About An Angel - Sunny Day Real Estate: The way he sings 'running behind' in this is maybe one of my favourite pieces of vocal performance ever. He just shouted himself apart. Also the Genius description of this song is one of the best emo sentences I’ve ever seen: "The song is believed to be a conversation between a guy and an angel (possibly a girl)."

This Life - Vampire Weekend: The R U Talkin' R.E.M. Re: Me? episode with Ezra really put this album into a lot more context for me, because he's talking about being influenced by The Grateful Dead - not musically exactly but in the mindset and the idea of being in a guitar band and making guitar music in 2019 which is an interesting thing to think about. Anyway this has such a Dead feel to it and I'm really interested to see what they do live because as I've heard they're really mixing up their reputation of being a band that sounds exactly like the album and really going for it instead and doing absolutely anything which is a lot more fun.

The Past Is A Grotesque Animal - of Montreal: I've been getting heavily into Hissing Fauna Are You The Destroyer? this month and it's just so incredible. This song especially as the centrepiece of this whole album is amazing. The mindset is so intriguing to me: absolutely going though it in the worst way possible, getting divorced and everything like that but also somehow managing to keep it twee. The sorts of things that influenced this album would turn any normal person to heavier or stranger music but somehow he manages to believe so hard in the power of twee indie pop that he pushed it to the limit and create a masterpiece.

The Cascades - Janice Scroggins: You know that tweet about riding the bus and looking out the window and pretending the music you're listening to is the soundtrack to the movie about you riding the bus? That's me except with Scott Joplin rags and pretending i'm in a silent film where I embarrass myself in front of a society lady.

The Governor - Nicolas Jaar: I think i’ve probably already had this song on a playlist like three times so I’m going to stop talking about it but here’s my favourite thing this time: It could have just ended and been fine but instead it goes to saxophone hell and that’s what makes this a 10/10 song.

The Less I Know The Better - Tame Impala: My peabrain moment this month was suddenly developing a huge obsession with this song for some reason. Have you guys heard of this band ‘Tame Impala’? I really feel like they might blow up! One of my favourite things about this song is that the top youtube comment for a long time was ‘this is like the cuck anthem’. They’re right!

New Town - Life Without Buildings: Life Without Buildings feels like indie rock from another dimension. This came out in 2000 and for some reason I can't reconcile that fact with how it sounds. It sounds like it should have come out at least 5 years later. I cannot imagine this style of vocal ever working so effectively but somehow it just does. I'm hanging on absolutely every word and feeling it so intensely when in reality she sounds like something went wrong with the recording. I just love it.

Bang Bang Bang - Mark Ronson And The Business Intl: This is a hugely underrated song and this era of Mark Ronson seems to have been totally forgotten which is unfortunate. This song, Bad Romance by Lady Gaga and OMG by Usher all came out around the same time in my memory and I remember feeling very optimistic for the direction pop seemed to be heading in. Bombastic and unique and unafraid to be structurally different but then it turned out it wasn’t really a trend at all, it was just three great songs. So who knows.

Back To The Trees - Adele H: I suddenly remembered this song I completely fell in love with last year and remembered as a moderate hit only to find that it has <1000 listens on spotify and 300 on youtube. Simply not good enough, please listen to this song! Support my friend and yours Adele H: ‘The Italian Adelian’

Out There - Studio: What’s so good about Studio is it’s technically an electronic duo but it has the feeling of a jam jam band. Their wiki article is obviously written by their management but it also describes them as an ‘afrobeat-dub-disco-indie-pop adventure’ which is very true. It’s an adventure! It just keeps moving on and on through fifty flavours of groove!

Shut Up Kiss Me - Angel Olsen: This really is maybe the best love song ever written! Because it's about standing firm and not giving up on love! Stop pretending I'm not there when it's clear I'm not going anywhere / If I'm out of sight then take another look around!

Through This Town - Mia Dyson: If you ever need an optimistic song to lay down on the floor to then here's one.

Cry Flames - Rustie: I'm on my usual shit about how good Glass Swords was and how that it's a tragedy that this never coalesced into a major movement like it should have. This is such a good sound that just kind of disappeared because vaporwave and everything overlapped with the boring parts of it and the anime chillout version became popular instead. Sad!

Real Truth (feat. Tkay Maidza) - J-E-T-S, Machinedrum and Jimmy Edgar: I love this beat so much. The sort of beat that sounds like it's playing out of a droid that got shot with a lazer and is malfunctioning.

Aute Cuture - Rosalia: me putting these lyrics through google translate: oh my god she’s right this IS on fire

Self-Immolate - King Gizzard And The Lizard Wizard: King Gizz are a metal band now and they're writing the very best kind of metal songs - sci-fi about burning to death in the skies of Venus that's also a climate change parable.

Magic Arrow - Timber Timbre: Timber Timbre feel underrated to me. I never see anyone talking about them but they're one of the most consistently great bands around, I absolutely love them. There's so much space in this song, this whole style of minimal production is underutilised. It feels like if Wicked Game by Chris Isaak was about an 18th century cult leader instead which I think we can all agree is a much improved song.

Kim's Caravan - Courtney Barnett: I love this style of songwriting where you just sit on an extremely heavy bassline the whole time and have no chorus, which affords you the freedom to just get bigger and bigger and smaller as you wish. The Drones cover of River Of Tears works like this too and I think it's just masterful.

When The Movie's Over - Twin Shadow: My belief is Confess is front to back one of the greatest pop albums ever written. Please, please listen to it and be moved.

listen here

#playlists

[whatiobsessabout]

The Ultimate List of LGBT Kpop Songs/MVs

This has come about because whenever I come across queer kpop lists I am disappointed by how short and repetitive they are. My goal is to have THE MOST comphensive list of songs and music videos with any sort of lgbt themes. 

Each song or mv listed will have a little (or not so little) description explaining how gay it is or why it is gay. This does mean I’ve let some more questionable songs and mvs on the list but from the description I shouldn’t be leading people astray or getting their hopes up. (I decided against including covers of songs  eg. where the artist hasn’t changed the gender in the songs. bc I feel that would become too messy and complicated. Also there are artists and songs I dislike on this list, and some artists can be considered problematic however I felt that if I excluded anything based on personal opinions it would make the purpose of this list invalid). 

Hopefully kpop fans can diversify their playlists and discover new bops, as well as giving comfort to lgbt+ kpop fans. I plan to update this list as new gay content is released :)

PLEASE GIVE ME MORE SUGGESTIONS FOR THIS LIST

Playlist of this List

UV & JYP - Itaewon Freedom Itaewon is the multicultural district in seoul, also one of the prominent “gay” areas in s.korea. this song is a gay anthem in korea.

Baek Ji Young - I Won't Love Again/Sarang Ahn Hae a beautiful lesbian romance

K.Will – Please Don't the ultimate plot twist mv and is THE gay kpop mv

Sistar – One More Day, I Like That, I Swear In One More Day shows when friends turn into lesbian lovers, but one is still in a relationship with an abusive man. The latter two mvs have fanservice based touching plus those gay vibes

ANDA – Touch a very lesbian mv

Baby Soul & Yoo Jia – She's a Flirt Feat. Jang Dongwoo a lesbian relationship but one of them is still with a man

After School – Because of You love triangle between 3 women

Red Velvet – Wish Tree a one-sided lesbian love. I will mention ‘Bad Boy’ for having some fanservice moments and the rainbow outfits in ‘Peek-a-Boo’ is peak gay culture

Holland – Neverland Holland is described by many news outlets as “The First Openly Gay Kpop Idol” make of that as you will (Because you can argue about being first and whether he is actually an idol, despite being a Korean person making pop or alternative pop music). Regardless he is openly gay and his song is most definitely gay and his mv is explicitly gay. Bless him

4L – Move in the aftermath of a massive breakup, the female character ends up having a lesbian one night stand which further confuses her while she deals with her heartbreak. This mv is more in the fanservice and objectifying females/lesbians category.

Loona – Chuu: Heart Attack, Yves: New light lesbian themes, up for interpretation

10cm – Help The male characters struggle with their relationship as they worry how society view them

DIA – Seoraksan In October light lesbian themes, up for interpretation

VIXX LR – Whisper light gay themes and touching, symbolic based and possibly just fanservice. Some consider their other hit ‘Beautiful Liar’ as gay, however, despite the homoeroticism in that mv, the plot is about struggling with your two inner selves rather than a male & male relationship.

Day6 – What Can I Do in a very messy love triangle (or octogon, who knows??) Wonpil has a one sided love for Sungjin, the plot is somewhat continued in their mvs ‘I Loved You’ and ‘When You Love Someone’.

Sweet Revenge – Cry to Your Heart's Content lesbians, lesbians, lesbians

INFINITE – The Eye some scenes of this could fall into the category of fanservice and skinship, even though it is very emotionally charged

Gugudan – Chococo Sejeong experiences a gay and chocolatey epiphany (a minor scene)

San.E – Story of someone I know Depicts an ex-girlfriend dumping him for a girl

Brown Eyed Girls – Abracadabra Queens of sexual freedom, there is an almost kiss at the end.

Girl's Day – Female President an almost kiss scene, in a feminist bop (a song made not too long after s.korea elected their very first female president, Park Geun Hye. Note: this was made well before she was exposed for being the worst™ and consequently impeached, which is a shame for the first and so far only female leader in s.korea to leave such a ignominious history.)

BTS – Blood Sweat and Tears, I need you, Run In Blood Sweat and Tears Jin kisses the male demon statue that seems to represent Taehyung. The other 2 mvs have light gay themes with skinship type moments

Imfact – Lollipop kissing on the cheeks and other skinship for fanservice

Wonder Girls – Why So Lonely a sort of but not really kiss scene

Crispi Crunch - Thumbs up a very questionable mv but does include a trans woman, or crossdresser, near the end. Also the teasers for this mv included the two dudes kissing, nowhere to be found in the actual mv though (or on the internet now.... ???)

Lim Chang Jung – Open the Door Includes a gay kiss

Glam – Party XXO a bi anthem, lyrics specify about not caring about gender when searching for love

N.O.M – A Guys, Nature of Man the group were less of a kpop group and more of a gay club act who then released 2 singles

Orange Caramel – Catallena more so in the lyrics than mv but not completely ignored in the mv, Catallena explores how women are supposed to compete with each other in society and how that becomes confusing when females look up and idolise other females, and even further complicates when you fall for a female. Additionally, the meaning can also be about how girl groups are pitted against each other but they also admire and love each other

Nell – The Day Before Deals with homosexuality and suicide

Harisu – History (with Turbo), Liar, Shopping Girl, Reaction, Foxy Lady, etc. A transgender model and actress who also had a pop career for a period of time

Mercury – Don’t Stop, Let’s Party a girl group which has one member, Hanbit, who is trans

SNSD – Dancing Queen, Divine (Story Version), All Night, Love & Girls, etc. Dancing queen has lowkey gay lyrics. Divine is one big lesbian drama. In All Night Sooyoung and Yuri have major gay vibes towards each other. Both All Night and Love & Girls include drag queens. GG’s discography is so large so there’s plenty more lowkey gay songs.

Lee Hyori – Miss Korea, Going Crazy Miss Korea critics beauty standards for women in korea, and includes drag queens. In Going Crazy Hyori crossdresses as a man and then sleazily flirts with tons of women

Mamamoo – Um Oh Ah Yeh plays with crossdressing and gender identity, and kinda gay. And they have a song called “Girl Crush” which is supposedly platonic by Korean pov but worth a mention

Monsta X – All In Hyungwon and Minhyuk are shown to be together, this is possibly why Hyungwon’s dad beats him

GFriend – Navillera Eunha and Yerin are confirmed to be depicting a couple throughout this mv. There are hints that the rest of the group are also coupled up but aren’t as far into their relationships yet.

Suran – Sad Pain two differently disabled women find comfort with each other

Triple H – 365 So Fresh heavily implied polyamorous relationship and threesome between 2 guys (Hui & e.dawn) and 1 girl (Hyuna)

Mad Clown – Love is a Dog from Hell Feat. Suran the story of a trans woman and her wife. Side note: interestingly enough Mad Clown asked his brother to play the trans woman, which brings up some questions about their personal lives – how close to this story are they?

Bestie – Excuse Me in this mv the girls have a magical pair of glasses that reveal the true intentions of men, the final group of men they come across are revealed to be gay

Maman – Obvious Story a lesbian song by a lesbian singer in a lesbian mv

Kriesha Chu – Like Paradise a lovely and trendy lesbian date

Song Jieun – Don’t Look at Me Like That depicts how gay people feel in conservative korea, feeling judged for their love

XIA – Tarantallegra, Even though I already know crossdressing and gender identity, plus gay vibes especially with the dancers

Heechul & Min Kyung Hoon – Sweet Dream a love triangle including Kyunghoon’s one-sided love for Heechul

Planet Shiver & Crush – Rainbow an anti-discrimination song

CoCoSoRi – Mi Amor the kiss at the end, otherwise pretty het

SVT JUN & THE8 – My I in the realms of fanservice, male duet song and performance

U-KISS – Quit Playing threesome scene including 2 men (Kiseop & Hoon) and 1 woman

Kangta (H.O.T) – Polaris deals with gender identity

Super Junior D&E – Still You, I Wanna Love You, etc. In Still You Donghae and Eunhyuk find each other, “bromance” or just plain gay vibes. I Wanna Love You could be a gay duet or not. Most releases from these guys are lowkey gay so.

Jo Kwon – Animal a gay diva delivering a gay bop

Beenzino – How Do I Look? has a couple scenes (not many) where gay men/couple are depicted

Bebop & Humming Urban Stereo – MAEM MAEM looks like they are on a date

WJSN – Secret some minor gay vibes, gay staring, hand holding etc.

9Muses A – Lip 2 Lip an almost kiss (in a pretty het mv)

9Muses – Wild, Sleepless Night Wild has fanservice based touching plus vibes. Meanwhile Sleepless Night has a scene which heavily implies lesbian sex

History – Psycho yet again fanservice based touching plus those gay vibes

Luizy – Baby Ride feat. Hyunsik of BTOB just two bros being bros on their bro date y’know

Uhm Jung Hwa – Dreamer, Watch Me Move, Ending Credit, House Mix Performance, etc. QUEEN OF THE GAYS

HA:TFELT (Yeeun of Wonder Girls) – Truth shows a lesbian couple

Jo Sung Mo – Immortal Love depicts a heartbreaking secret gay relationship

Z.Hera – D Island depicts a powerful interracial lesbian love story

Yuri & Raiden – Always Find You fight me this is lesbian af as long as you cut out the last 3 seconds

MISS $ – Just Let Me Live feat. Skull complex love triangles, and possessive love, with plenty of lesbian themes

Chaness – SeSeSe dark mv with lesbians doing what they can to be together

Lee Jung Hyun – Michyeo Lee Jung Hyun becomes crazed when she learns of her boyfriend’s affair with another man

Homme – Still Eating Well it’s a bit of a stretch but 2 dudes and 1 girl scenario, dedicated to more of the “bro” time than the hetero plot

Lady – Attention, Lady’s Night A girl group made up of transgender women (Sinae, Sahara, Binu and Yuna)

Shinhwa – This Love a massive stretch but voguing is gay culture so we can’t ignore that, plus the use male back up dancers is… interesting

Kim DongHee – I Feel Like I’m Dying Lesbian storyline

Seo In Young – Scream (19 Ver.) there’s some gayish scenes in there, nothing major

Aoora – Body Talk, grab or bite, heartfreak, etc. he tries to pretend his stuff isn’t gay but he isn’t that good at it tbh. it’s pretty transparent how gay everything is even if he does include shots of boobs. he could be bi???

May Doni - Molla Ing feat. 2AM has some gay scenes

Cheetah – My Number Includes a male dance team which are very femme, or are drag queens (?? If someone knows please tell me)

Yu Mei – Suddenly cute lesbian love

Risso – OMG cute lesbian couple

Luna – Free Somebody not necessarily gay but you can understand lyrically how this connected to the lgbt community in korea and how it is now one of their staples at pride

f(x) – Chu, Pink Tape Art Film In Chu Krystal wears a marriage equality shirt that says ‘Legalise Gay’. Pink Tape Art Film has light lesbian themes. Amber in general defies female gender roles in both western and eastern cultures.

진주 – 미로 Feat. 엄지원 & TBNY a lesbian storyline

Gangkiz – Honey Honey a girl gang run amuck being troublesome and having the times of their lives. Has possible lesbian themes.

UP10TION – Attention some gay fanservice choreography

Sweet Boy – I LUV HER feat. NUVO This falls into the category of men objectifying females and lesbians, an almost kiss

Stellarjet – Guiding Light the main character spies on her neighbour and falls for her

Brown Classics - Nostalgia Feat. Yozoh & Eric has a gay storyline

Rainbow Blaxx – Cha Cha minor lesbian themes with skinship and fanservice

Epitone Project – Hate a delicate lesbian love story

4Men – First Kiss The female character is devasted when the man she loves falls for another man

toheart (Key of SHINee and Woohyun of Infinite) – Delicious Key and Woohyun might think they are trying to win over the same gal but in reality they are winning each other over

Taemin – Move I was struggling whether to put him on the list as he is lowkey a gay icon eg. Move where he finally threw off the shackles of gender based choreography and fully embraced his androgyny. he has plenty of songs and performances that all exist in this realm of androgyny, and a lot of his discography, both Korean and Japanese, could be gay but it could also be straight, it’s very easy to interpret whichever way, which I do think is intentional. (please refer to Ten’s section further down where I share my conflicting feelings about referring to people like Taemin as a gay icon if you are interested)

Seeya – Shoes, Crazy Love Song heavy drama plot with lesbian themes, the mvs are connected

Park Jungmin (SS501) – Not Alone an anti-discrimination bop and includes a drag queen

Pentagon – Critical Beauty All the members are coupled up, and there’s a very questionable scene with e.dawn and a banana. A small mention of their mvs ‘Like This’ and ‘Runaway’ which has some very minor scenes of guys together but it’s very ambiguous and a major stretch to even label it as fanservice.

CS Numbers – Cry Out With My Heart two girls go on a road trip

Bumkey – Bad Girl The female character keeps on flirting with the male character but in the end it turns out he’s into guys

4minute – Whatcha Doin’ Today? Jihyun may have accidently made two guys go from fighting each other to kissing each other, not to mention Gayoon has some lesbian vibes throughout the mv

i11evn – Porn Star  Feat. Suprema in the lyrics he talks about being bi (watch out for Suprema using, rather seemingly misusing the dreaded term “no homo”)

Gain (Brown Eyed Girls) – Two Women some interpret this song to have lesbian themes

Infinite Flow – Rainbow Feat. Kim Jong Wan of Nell the lyrics depict the depression and desperation of being gay in korea (sidenote: a personal favourite of mine that I discovered years and years ago and it still has a very emotional effect on me)

Dynamic Duo – Heartbreaker Feat. Kim Jong Wan of Nell the anger and sadness of struggling with homosexuality in korea in the lyrics, the mv’s plot ignores the song’s meaning

Epik High - AMOR FATI Feat. Kim Jong Wan of Nell In the very words of Tablo “I wrote 'Amor Fati' for people who are mistreated because they were born the way they are.”

IU – Peach, Red Queen, Everyone has Secrets feat. Gain of Brown Eyed Girls Peach was written in dedication to former f(x) member Sulli. Red Queen’s lyrics also romanticise a girl and it is said to yet again be about Sulli. The lyrics of Everyone has secrets can be very relatable to the lgbt community.

Nam Tae Hyun (Winner) – I’m Young a love song where the lyrics only mention a masculine pronoun

2YOON – Why Not these lyrics can be interpreted as gay

EXO – Playboy, They Never Know The lyrics of Playboy make more sense when you interpret as a secret gay relationship. The live performances of this is the opposite of heterosexuality. (note: Jonghyun wrote Playboy). In They Never Know the lyrics have moments like “Love is Blind” and discussion an unconventional love, it is widely accepted to have a strong gay theme. Also special mention to their 2017 winter album “Universe” for being completely 100% gender neutral

Oh My Girl – Knock Knock Girls singing about girls

Black Nut – Beenzino Black Nut takes his fanboying for Beenzino to the next level

Jonghyun – 02:34, Monodrama, Cocktail, most of these songs have light gay themes, and make more sense when interpreted as gay. You delve even deeper into his discography and interpret them in a gay light.

Gain & Minseo - Imi Oneun Sori (The Footsteps of My Dear Love) From the OST of the Korean film The Handmaiden, which itself has lesbian themes.

NCT’s Ten - Dream in a Dream This is a bit of a reach but the inclusion of Lucas in some of the scenes of this MV is an interesting choice. Also I would like to give a shout out to NCT U (Ten & Taeyong) - Baby Don’t Stop, for being a lowkey gay tune even if nothing about it can be pointed out as explicitly gay. He has released a song called New Heroes, which lyrically talks about standing up for what you believe in and working hard to get successful whilst facing adversary, which is a great message, but with Ten’s almost meme-like status of being a “confident gay” (despite not actually being out) this song has definitely made a lot of people claim it as gay anthem, make of it as you will (I feel conflicted about this; 1. he’s not standing up for the gays as a gay person if he isn’t out and people shouldn’t pressure him to do so, especially when he is a foreigner in s.korea; 2. it’s all well and good to quietly within the fanbase to joke about confident/panicked gays, or gay icons, but it can go too far, especially when it becomes their branding and only personality trait to both fans and the broader (western) kpop fanbase. these issues also apply to many like Sunmi and Taemin.)

Twice - What is Love? The girls take turns in depicting and parodying famous cinematic couples, so fanservice based crossdressing and gayness.

and hopefully plenty more to come ~

#gay #queer #lgbt #gay kpop #queer kpop #lgbt kpop #kpop #list #k pop #k-pop #korean #korea #south korea #representation #bts #red velvet #after school #snsd #exo #jonghyun #taemin #shinee #smtown #jyp #f(x) #loona #vixx #whatiobsessabout

[studiobeebo]

my villlain oc YEET

h u l l o. i recently made a villain oc. she’s a thot and also The Worst however i’m sharing her info with you guys anyways. (also thanks @technicallyflamey for letting me use her OC template bc i am Too Unorganized to figure this all out on my own)

Basics (This is gonna be a long post, so I’ll give a quick description of her here first and then if you want to learn more in depth stuff, you can just scroll down!)

Name: Beatrix

Age: 20

Affiliation: League of Villains

Quirk: Ink Animation

After growing up in an unloving home, finding out she’s adopted, and then finding out that her actual parents were even more uncaring than her adopted ones despite being heroes, Beatrix was left wanting nothing more than to dismantle the idea that heroes were somehow these perfect beings. She’s got a very flashy personality and is quite the thottie diva to a point where ‘Bitch’ or ‘Whore’ is practically her middle name. Her quirk allows her to bring any drawing or writing to life and she uses her quirk on her many tattoos to fight. She joined the league because, honestly, she’s an attention seeker and at the moment, the league was getting quite famous and she wanted to get under that spotlight. While her whiny and bratty personality makes her very disliked by her new “boss”, she likes to think she gets along pretty well with the rest of the team and if asked, will confidently say she already plans on marrying Dabi despite his apparent lack of interest.

vvv In Depth Assessment vvv

General Information

Name: Beatrix   

Nicknames: Trix, Bea

   Alias: Witcher

Gender: Female

Age: 20

Birth date: June 12

Astrological sign: Gemini

Nationality: American

Affiliation: League of Villains

Appearance

Hair color: Naturally, her hair is a deepish brown, however she loves to change things up so it’s not strange to find her wearing different colored wigs that look surprisingly natural (her most recent favorite happens to be one with the same naturally wavy style of her actual hair, however it is a pastel blue and pink in color.)

Hair style: Generally, Beatrix puts her hair up into two buns, leaving her naturally wavy bangs framing her face. This is most practical for fighting, but if she isn’t particularly doing anything, she’ll have her hair down with two smaller buns on top or if she’s feeling extra lazy, she’ll just tie it up in a messy bun.

(If you’d want to see references for hairstyles/colors you can see em here)

Eye color: Steel grey

Eye shape: Sharp and upturned, a bit cat like.

Height: 5’3”

Weight: 137 LB

Build: Endomorph or pear. Basically, an hourglass like figure, however with thicker hips.

Complexion: Fairly pale with rose undertones

Cup size: B

Blood type: AB

Handedness: Right

Movement: It really depends on her mood. She’s a bit flamboyant so she speaks a lot with her body language.

Posture: Again, depends on how she’s feeling. IE, if she’s tired, she’ll be slouching more.

Voice: It can be pretty obnoxious, she complains a lot and has a catty, almost preppy tone to her voice, though judging by how dramatic she is, it wouldn’t be surprising if even her voice were fake..(think Juliette from Lollipop Chainsaw) 

Scars: Nothing significant, maybe a few scratches here or there. She may seem like a reckless fighter upon seeing her, but she tries very hard to make sure nothing flaws her “perfect” features.

Distinguishing features: She’s got quite a lot of tattoos, and while they may seem random, most of them serve a purpose. That being said, she has a mix between purely artistic things such as a small bundle of roses on the back of her left shoulder, but the others, such as the large snake on her right thigh or the wings on her back that spread over her arms, have a greater purpose.

(Tattoo references here)

Clothing

Uniform: Beatrix doesn’t really believe in “uniforms”. She thinks they’re boring and tacky, she wouldn’t be caught dead wearing the exact same outfit twice during missions.

Civilian clothes: Her civilian clothes also count as her mission clothes, but they are anything but appropriate for fighting. Bea is very fashion savvy and always wants to have the best, cutest clothes and she has a very risque style, often wearing things like leotards, crop tops, or anything that shows a lot of skin. To be honest, she’s an attention whore and she knows she’s got the looks, so she uses them. Think, ‘thottie with a body’, or that bitch who always wears fishnet stockings and as catty as she is, you can’t help but look because damn does she look good. Her favorite outfit, however, is any variation of the classic playboy bunny get up.

(Same with hairstyles, you can see examples here)

Characteristics

Strengths: Beatrix is a very cunning girl and she’s good at talking herself out of bad situations. She also is very sly and quick with her movements, so she makes for a surprisingly scary opponent.

Weaknesses: She’s definitely an attention seeker and a whiner, so her brattiness can make her very hard to work with.

Likes: Attention, sweets (specifically suckers or gum), flirting, eye candy, shopping, being able to do what she wants.

Dislikes: Being ignored, being stuck indoors for too long, people insulting her looks or style, rain, bossy people

Fears: She’s afraid of being left in the dust, unrecognized and unwanted.

Hobbies: Shopping, complaining, dressing up for literally no reason, singing (though she’ll never do this if she thinks people can hear her)

Skills: Conning people, flirting, short term fights

Quirks:  (Not actual quirk, but strange parts of the OC’s personality) She has a bit of an oral fixation, so she is always chewing gum, sucking on a sucker, or chewing on a toothpick.

Myers-Briggs Personality Type: ENTP - ENTPs are versatile, open-minded, and restless. Easily bored, they are constantly toying with new ideas and scanning for possibilities. Because of their insatiable thirst for novelty, their interests can seem limitless. As is true of the ENFP, ENTPs’ minds move at a frenetic pace, contributing to restlessness, anxiousness, and erratic sleeping patterns. Not only are they constantly scanning for new possibilities, but also generating new ideas and associations. Moreover, ENTPs enjoy sharing and exchanging their ideas with others. Considering how their minds are drawn in so many different directions, it is no wonder that ENTPs can seem restless, scattered, distractible, and, rightly or not, are commonly diagnosed with ADD or ADHD.

Health

Physical health: She’s very fit, she gets antsy easily so she’s solved that by going for walks or runs often.

Mental health: She’s a villain, so...slightly cracked, but she isn’t completely insane or anything.

Nutrition: Actually not that great, she eats a lot of garbage and the only reason she’s thin is because she only eats about once a day.

Sleep habits: Erratic. She’s always had trouble sleeping so it’s common to see her awake at ungodly hours of the morning browsing her phone or getting into trouble.

Quirk and Abilities

Quirk- Ink Animation

Explanation of Quirk: To put it simply, Beatrix is able to bring any type of ink to life, literally pulling it from whatever surface it’s from and controlling it to do whatever she needs. This, along with the fact that she had her rebellious stage quite early and never really left it, is the main reason she has many tattoos, as she can pull them from her skin and use them. Anything with a sharp edge or sharp line work can be used like a blade, her smokey tattoo could be used as a way to shield her presence, the snake could..well, attack people. Her wings, however, are her favorites as she can use them to fly, but she tries to only use them if she really has to. The reason behind this is, the bigger the tattoo, the less time she can use her quirk on it before it has to be returned to her skin.

Statistics:

   Power: ★★★☆☆ F

   Speed: ★★★★★ D

   Technique: ★★★★☆ C

   Intelligence: ★★★★☆ B

   Cooperativeness: ★★☆☆☆A

Extra:

Power: Technically, her quirk itself isn’t that powerful, but her strength lies in how it’s used.

Speed: Being a quick mover is just something she’s learned along the way to get a leg up on those who are physically stronger than she is.

Technique: Beatrix always has a plan for every fight she gets into and she’s very good at analyzing her opponent and their quirk.

Intelligence: She’s gotten very clever with how she uses her quirk, and she has to be pretty smart if she can make a plan to take down an enemy twice her size.

Cooperativeness: Beatrix is very picky and she doesn’t work terribly well with people she doesn’t like.

Character Analysis

Enneagram: 7 THE ENTHUSIAST The Busy, Fun-Loving Type: Spontaneous, Versatile, Distractible, and Scattered

History

Ages 0-4: Beatrix was adopted from birth, however this was not something she found out about until she was older. Her toddler age was much like any other, though she was a bit more troublesome than your average young child.

Ages 5-11: At age 5, Beatrix discovered her quirk while drawing in her kindergarten class. After this, her bad temper and brattiness got much, much worse.

Ages 12-14: On top of her average brattiness, being a preteen only made her attitude worse. She had never gotten along with her parents and never really felt a connection with them. They, on the other hand, never made any connection with her either and just saw her as a project they had to keep and take care of until she was old enough to leave because they chose this life. There wasn’t much love or attention given from either side, they were only with one another because of family “love” being the social norm.

Ages 15-Present: At the age of 17, after a rather terrible argument with her parents, Beatrix discovered she was adopted due to her father screaming about how she wasn’t even really theirs, so they shouldn't have to deal with her ‘bullshit’. Despite not having much of a connection with her parents, this life long lie made her absolutely furious. She felt like the only reason she had grown up miserable and, well, a troublemaker was because she wasn’t with her real family.

Once Beatrix turned 18, she got all the information that she could from her parents about her birth family and seeked them out, but this turned out to be a mistake. She was hoping that, finally, she’d have that picture perfect family where she could fit in and be loved, but when she knocked on her parents door one morning and was met with a look of horror after explaining who she was, she knew something wasn’t right.

After being invited inside, both her ‘parents’ sat her down looking pale in the face before giving her an explanation: They gave her up because of their jobs as heroes. They never wanted a child and she was an accident, and since they were both pro heroes, they didn’t have the time for a child and since they didn’t even want one, she was given up. That was when Beatrix went cold, her dream of finally being a puzzle piece finding the puzzle it belonged to being crushed, but when she heard her father utter out the following words, she lost it.

“You..You should leave..We didn’t want you then, and I’m sorry, but we don’t want you now.”

Her actions felt like a blur, but before she knew it, her parents were on the ground littered with deep gashes all over their bodies as a few of her arrow tattoos returned to her arm. Her emotions were a wreck and she felt more lost than ever before, so instead, she told herself that not having a place in the world just meant she was free, so she began doing what any ‘free’ person would do: whatever she wanted. For a while, she didn’t kill anyone and stuck to petty crimes like theft, but this quickly bored her. The lack of love growing up had left her wanting all eyes on her all the time, so she began doing flashier crimes and dressing much more errotically, anything to get attention. She began to let loose even more, and when she saw how infamous this ‘League of Villains’ in Japan was getting, she knew she needed to get under that lovely spotlight, and when there was a call for new members, she was practically the first to pack her life up and move to Japan and start her new life as a member of the League.

Relationships

Canon Character- Tomura Shigaraki

  Status: Her “Boss”

  How well they get along: Horribly. She hates anyone who tries to limit her, he hates brats. Luckily, her want to be in the spotlight is strong enough that she takes orders from him, though not without a lot of complaints.

  What OC thinks of them: She thinks he’s an overly entitled child who needs to grow up. She’s always the first to make cracks at his temper tantrums.

  What they thinks of OC: He hates her and has been very close to killing her many times. She doesn’t listen and she ‘dresses like a hooker’, and in his eyes, she should be lucky he even let her on the team.

  What OC calls them: Crusty, Tomura, Cry Baby

  What they call OC: Whore, Brat, Witch

Canon Character- Toga Himiko

  Status: Teammates, Friends

  How well they get along: These too actually get along quite well. They’re both accustomed to fashion or cute things and they both tend to complain a lot, so they’re a good match.

  What OC thinks of them: She thinks she can be a bit annoying, but she loves her excitable spirit and almost sees her as a sister.

  What they thinks of OC: Toga loves Bea, she thinks her style and attitude is impressive. Bea is probably the one who made her a bit obsessive over attractive or interesting people, too.

  What OC calls them: Toga-chan, Bunny

  What they call OC: Bea, Trixy

Canon Character- Dabi

  Status: They tolerate each other, or rather, Bea loves him and he tolerates her

  How well they get along: It depends on who you ask. Ask Bea, she’ll say they’re a match made in heaven and that everyone should be expecting wedding invites very soon. Ask Dabi, he’ll say she’s annoying and self centered, but he stopped trying to deny how often he looks at her ass a while ago.

  What OC thinks of them: She likes him mostly because she thinks he’s attractive, but she also likes that he’s a bit mysterious. In her eyes, he’s a blank slate, so that leaves her plenty of information to learn about him so she sees him as entertainment and eye candy, her favorite combination.

  What they thinks of OC: Again, he thinks she’s a bit of a brat and way too self centered. She whines and complains a lot, but she often complains about the same things he does just in a much more annoying way, so he has to give her that. That, and she’s got an amazing figure and hates their leader. All in all, he thinks she’s obnoxious, but could be worse.

  What OC calls them: Love, Babe, Dabi Dearest, etc.

  What they call OC: Beatrix or Trix

Canon Character- Twice

  Status: Teammates, Friends

  How well they get along: Surprisingly well

  What OC thinks of them: She actually thinks Twice is adorably sweet. She sees him as a brother and him and Toga are part of the reason she actually feels..at home in the league, but she’d never say that cause mushy shit is for losers and heroes.

  What they thinks of OC: He’s practically in love with her, but he feels that way about every female that’s nice to him. He likes her fun, outgoing style and that she’s a bit of a rule breaker.

  What OC calls them: Twicey

  What they call OC: Bea

#YEAAAH BOI #i really like her #i might even commission someone to do some art of her bc #i need that in my l i f e #my oc #mha oc #bullshit

[sue-bts]

I'D NEVER I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH TO TROLL YOU I SEEK THE KNOWLEDGE OF EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU❤😭😭❤

2. what would you name your future kids?

Tim, Joan, Sal, Everett and Audrey

3. do you miss anyone?

my old director ;~:

4. what are you looking forward to?

finishing this damn fic !

5. is there anyone who can always make you smile?

(already answered)

6. is it hard for you to get over someone?

extremely 

7. what was your life like last year?

ridiculously bad like seriously i’ve improved so much 

Anonymous said:8?

8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?

hmm not really, i don’t cry unless it’s really serious 

9. who did you last see in person?

my grandmother actually 

10. are you good at hiding your feelings?

omg yes, as a cancer you have to be 

11. are you listening to music right now?

no, but i have ear buds in in preparation 

12. what is something you want right now?

more time and a muffin 

13. how do you feel right now?

moderate, pretty bland with it being my last day of break but generally fine.

14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you?

yesterday 

15. personality description

oh geez well to acquaintances i seem pretty cheery, im not one for being bratty or rude to people for no reason. if you do know me well you’ll see im sarcastic and unsympathetic, i don’t do well with emotions, i hold a lot of stuff against people, not often sharing my own feelings. im very loyal to those who haven’t hurt me. im not shy nor extremely introverted but i enjoy my quiet time, im outgoing i suppose, but primarily prefer to stick within my bounds and not go about trying to meet new people. 

16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t?

so many times man

17. opinion on insecurities.

i think people need to go about helping their insecurities without seeking redemption in others. i think insecurities are too personal a thing to either blame on others or think can only be cured by others. 

18. do you miss how things were a year ago?

not 👏🏼 at 👏🏼 all 👏🏼

19. have you ever been to New York

no 

20. what is your favourite song at the moment?

5 fine frøkner by Gabrielle 

21. age and birthday?

lmao nahhhh

22. description of crush.

i don’t have one rip

23. fear(s)

not accomplishing everything i set out to 

24. height

5′7

25. role model

for the longest time it was my director but she screwed that up, so now it’s my grandma 

26. idol(s)

anyone who’s become successful pursuing their hobby

27. things i hate

EASILY OFFENDED PEOPLE WHO COMPLAIN ABOUT EVERYTHING

28. i’ll love you if…

you encourage my hobbies and push me towards further success 

29. favourite film(s)

About Time, Stardust, Howl’s Moving Castle, The Help, The Prestige, Mad Max, If I Stay, Up, The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh

30. favourite tv show(s)

SKAM, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Gilmore Girls, Attack on Titan

31. 3 random facts

(already answered)

32. are your friends mainly girls or guys?

it’s actually a mix, i have half girl friends and half guy 

33. something you want to learn

korean or norwegian lmao 

34. most embarrassing moment

oh god u don’t even want to know 

35. favourite subject

english 

36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?

being a writer, artist and moving out of america 

37. favourite actor/actress

Tarjei Sandvik Moe

38. favourite comedian(s)

geez probably bo burnham 

39. favourite sport(s)

nONE

40. favourite memory

performing as wendy in peter pan 

41. relationship status

single af

42. favourite book(s)

(already answered)

43. favourite song ever

like ever?? probably do i wanna know bc ive liked it since it came out 

44. age you get mistaken for

17

45. how you found out about your idol

lmao i watched youtubers react to kpop when i was stalking dan and phil 

46. what my last text message says

‘im sue and i lack motivation™’

47. turn ons

yoongi’s voice

48. turn offs

SJWs lmao 

49. where i want to be right now

in my family’s cabin 

50. favourite picture of your idol

(already answered)

51. starsign 

cancer 

52. something i’m talented at

writing i guess ???

53. 5 things that make me happy

coffee, the peeps™, rain, music and chocolate 

54. something thats worrying me at the moment

school starting back up 

55. tumblr friends

@junior-loser @obsessive15 @deiky

56. favourite food(s)

any dessert, sushi, japanese food in general, and like ?? vegetable stir-fry is bomb

57. favourite animal(s)

C A T S and whales and just sea animals in general 

58. description of my best friend

goofy, loves memes, curly hair, tall 

59. why i joined tumblr

i thought it’d be a good place to watch porn and stalk phan lmao

as y’all can i see ive now answered all the questions lmao 

#long post #ask game #more about me #my face #anon #ask #answered #personal #sue-bts

[theramblingonesie]

Sweet Tooth Sal: Criminal Intent

It started off as just any other Tuesday at the theater. My staff was working hard selling tickets and restocking the merch, the event organizers were running around town dropping off paperwork and making sure our special guests stayed special, and the volunteers were taking the time and care to explain to me that they knew how to do my job. I was busy running my tiny world in stilettos, saving customers’ lives one light switch and one lost pair of glasses at a time.  Our shows were running on time, the theater was clean, and audience members were engaged in lively, thought-provoking discussions.

And then, it happened.  For what some might argue was only a trivial $3.79, my world went black.

*************************************************************************

Being the venue manager at a film festival is pretty cool.  On one hand, it’s very long hours and you basically miss everything. On the other, you have the opportunity to meet some wonderful artists, and feel proud when your work helps to create a safe container to transport audiences into other worlds—worlds of deeper feeling and meaning, worlds of pleasure and escapism, worlds of introspection, connectiveness, and healing.  I know that being middle management is kind of the butt of many elitist jokes, but in this particular position, I really enjoy it.  I have enough autonomy and control that I’m able to have fun with my staff and our environment, encouraging everyone to work hard but also explore their creativity and prioritize their individual needs. At the same time, I have the joy of getting out of customer complaint jail by saying “yeah, that’s a total bummer, but I don’t make the rules. Feel free to chat with my boss, but in the meantime let’s work to make you comfortable.” Or even, “yeah, I ALSO wish we sold beer and wine here. I know, we’re the worst. For what it’s worth, I’m also suffering by being sober.  Enjoy the show!”

*Goes into the back room and pours a glass of Prosecco that my amazing boss brought me*

Even with minor frustrations and moments of stress, the joy and love of the event wash over it all and return me to a space of inner peace and purpose.

Except for one time. That one fateful Tuesday.  Let’s return to our story.

**************************************************************************

As I return to the lobby from testing the microphones, the sea of a buzzing audience parts to show me a gentleman waiting, unattended, at the merch table. I come around the corner to discover that it’s not a customer, but a roaming staff member who has, to this point, caused me a lot of frustration.  Daily, this person has squeezed me out of my office space, and demanded extra tasks and favors that are not only a part of my job description, even though he is not someone who has any authority over me.  I frequently wonder, every time he comes by, why on earth he’s even in the building.  There is another man who carries the same job title, who is ever-lovely and a joy to be around.  But this man, this particular pain in my ass, is just oblivious, to say the least.

We’ll call him Sweet Tooth Sal.  

I come around to the back of the merch table and flatly ask, “Hey Sal. What do you need?”

“Hey Sam! Let me buy one of those chocolate bars!”

“We don’t sell chocolate bars here, Sal. Per usual, we only ever have water.”

“Oh, well shoot. I just ate the chocolate that was in the back room, so I figured I’d just give you a couple bucks to grab another one.”

 See: Flames.

Sentence example: Flames on the side of my face.

 For those of you who don’t know me, let me explain my relationship with chocolate.

Chocolate is sacred.

Chocolate is necessary.

Chocolate is life.

Reece’s is not chocolate.

Hershey’s is not chocolate.

Chocolate costs a minimum of $3.00 per bar.

Chocolate tells me I’m beautiful and holds me when I cry.

Chocolate tells me I’m a boss when I’m stressed at work.

Chocolate is the first to celebrate my successes with me.

Chocolate rescues me when my blood sugar drops from forgetting to eat.

Chocolate is a gift to my friends.

Chocolate is for sharing with people I love.

 CHOCOLATE NEEDS TO BE ASKED FIRST.

 I had purchased three very special chocolate bars to keep in the breakroom for the duration of the festival for all of the above reasons. Said chocolate is only sold at one specific store in the area, so they’re not easily replaced. And of all people, I was not interested in sharing with Sal.

My oscillation between rage and shock happened too quickly for my brain to fully connect with my mouth.

“No, Sal. That was my personal chocolate. It was very special chocolate that you can’t buy here. You can only buy it at (insert health food store name). It’s not cheap.”

“Oh, well, you left it out in the breakroom, so I figured it was for everyone.”

“It’s not for everyone. It’s mine. I had it tucked off to the side.”

“Yeah I was gonna replace it, but since you don’t sell it here, whoops! Sorry!”

What could I do? I was stunned! I know, most of you are reading this like, “I WOULDA PUNCHED HIM IN THA FACE!!!!!!!!!!! I WOULDA SCREAMED AT HIM! I WOULDA MADE HIM DROP TO HIS KNEES AND TURN OVER HIS WALLET!!!!!!!!!! I WOULDA CALLED THE COPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WOULDA CUT HIS TONGUE OUT AND FRAMED IT ON THE WALL AS A WARNING TO ALL THOSE WHO DARE EVER CROSS ME AGAIN, AND THEN DOX HIM ON FACEBOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!”

I’m sure you would have.

I, on the other hand, hate confrontation, and offered a mousy, ‘splainy finger-wag as my whole body shook:

“Um…well, Sal…uh, that breakroom is, um, for like, festival theater staff, and it also belongs to the theater’s regular staff year-round, so y’know, we need to be mindful of sharing space, and it’s really…uh it’s nice…you…we all need to ask before we take other people’s food cuz maybe someone brought something that was very special to them or mmm maybe they can’t afford to replace it, but like, it’s just good to ask first cuz yeah…”

 I think I made it as far as “uh, that breakroom is, um” before he turned around and walked away.  The rest of my mumbling was done at his back, and probably continued after he had turned the corner and closed the theater door behind him.

YEAH, GO GET HIM, TIGER. YOU REALLY PUT HIM IN HIS PLACE.

So I did the only thing one in my position could reasonable do.

 I texted all of my friends about it.

 I felt better after speaking with them, as they totally confirmed the rudeness of the situation. I settled comfortably back into my chair and began slowly burning each letter of Sweet Tooth Sal’s name into my dead-to-me list.

The next day, as I was running around doing my usual duties, Sweet Tooth Sal pulled me aside and said, “hey. I’m sorry about yesterday. I got you this”, and he handed me a new chocolate bar. I inspected the bar. It was dark chocolate with espresso. It looked nice. The ingredient list checked out. Again, I was in shock, but I took a deep breath, looked up and said, “thank you, Sal. That’s very kind.”

A new anger bubbled up inside of me. It was strange.  I knew I should have felt relieved, that justice was served, and that it was time to shift into a space of forgiveness.  But for whatever reason, I was almost angrier. I was angry that I couldn’t be angry at STS anymore, and then angry at myself for not being a more enlightened human who could just accept and move on.

I paced. I paced for what seemed like eternity.  I texted my friends again, venting how angry I was about not being allowed to be angry anymore, because he technically did the right thing.  I was bitter. I was bitter that he finally gave me a solid reason to write him off, an obvious offense, and then took it back, putting me back into a place of dealing with the guilt over just generally disliking him.

I sat at my desk stewing and eating the chocolate.  I wondered what was happening inside of me that made me so attached to my anger, and then re-anger upon un-angering.  As I contemplated, STS came back out of the theater and slimed his way behind the merch table and right up next to me.

“Hey Sam. So, heh, a guy buys a girl a chocolate bar to say he’s sorry, and then comes out of a movie to ask if she’ll split it with him. Whaddaya say?”

“Yes.” I replied. “Absolutely; help yourself.”

“Thanks! Yeah I just kinda grabbed this from the other theater. Is it any good?”

“Oh, it’s delicious. Yes.”

My righteous anger returned. I was elated.

STS returned to the movie, and I completed his name on the dead-to-me list. Glowing.

And then I released it.

****************************************************************************

When I tell this story to other folks, I get a mixed reaction. Mainly, due to the purposely absurd delivery, most just get a laugh out of it.  Some see my behavior as cowardly, others understand the depth and layers of my reaction, many a combination of both.

Anger, in the kingdom of emotions, is one of my closest friends and dearest allies. Due to my specific cocktail of mental illness and trauma, I have horrible boundaries.

I am terrified of saying no. Even when I say no, I feel like a bad person and my abandonment fears kick in.

I don’t want to be the loser, the prude, the psycho, the dummy, the weakling, etc. 

I don’t want to hurt people’s feelings or be a disappointment.

I don’t want to be the cause of pain, and I don’t want people to dislike me.

I don’t want people to lash out at me, shame me, or attack my core in a defensive, hostile response to me saying no.

I don’t want to be left out in the future because of the one time I had to say no.

 Does this sound like most women you know?

Anger, in its healthy expression, is simply “no”.  It’s not throwing chairs. It’s not ripping out someone’s heart. Sure, those actions may follow the initial inner anger signal, but that’s not the essence of anger itself. I will repeat this over and over again—

Anger is the signal inside of you that says a violation has occurred and you need to set a boundary.

That could be anywhere from your favorite mug being left out dirty-- “Ugh, boo, no. Hey friend, do you mind just washing my mug after using it? Thank you!”

To finding out your partner has cheated on you-- “FUCK YOU NOOOO. We’re going to therapy.”

To hearing horrors in the news-- “NO, I will not stand for this. I’m registering to vote and donating to those who can help.”

The word “violation” feels big and extreme, yah? It doesn’t have to be that way. Whether it’s a little grr or a big grr, it’s important to know when our bodies are saying, “hm, this doesn’t feel good”, the same way we learn to understand our food cravings.  When we crave a certain food, that doesn’t mean we’re starving and have a nutritional deficiency so low that we need to go to the hospital. It just means, hey, this thing wants our attention so this beautiful machine can stay powered up and healthy. We don’t need to wait until we black out on the floor before changing our diets, just as we don’t need to wait for a heart-breaking tragedy for us to admit we feel hurt, unsafe, or disrespected.

I try to remind myself of this on the regular, because I still struggle with it.  I hold onto my anger for dear life, because it’s the only emotion that helps me to feel safe. As a person with very loose and questionable boundaries, I am very easily manipulated and taken advantage of. I have a talent for attracting people with hidden agendas, control issues, and narcissistic personality traits, as well as being the person that will bring out dirty behavior in people who are otherwise fine around others.  I used to view this from the lens of a person with a strong victim complex.  These days, as I no longer wish to have that be my identity, I recognize how deeply people’s energetic signatures affect us and influence certain behavior, and my role in how what I feel/present will elicit certain behaviors in others.  A frequent conversation I have with friends—

Friend: “Huh, that’s so weird. That person’s never done that to me.”

Me: “Of course they didn’t. Because you have self-esteem/social status.”

For people like me, as we’re navigating the path of being adults and figuring out how to heal ourselves, anger may be our saving grace. As the storyteller in me presents the bit about Sweet Tooth Sal through humor and drama, the human in me knows exactly what was going on in my head at the time.  This man had been behaving in an entitled, arrogant, rude manner for days.  Because I didn’t want to be seen as an oversensitive asshole, nor did I want to create a tense environment (which usually happens whenever I stand up for myself or my friends; also, people get really flipped out when tiny femme-presenting women are assertive) I just kept “letting it go”.  When he pulled this shit with my chocolate, it wasn’t about the chocolate at all. If it were anyone else there, I probably would have laughed and said, “you owe me a drink, you jerk!” Or, “oh please, I’m happy to share. Which one did you try? Isn’t it so good?”

But this man represented everything I hate about fragile masculinity and entitlement.  He was white, middle-aged, a social climber, a misogynist, and pushed my staff and I around as if we revolved around him.  As soon as he gave me a direct, personal reason to dislike him, I took it.  It felt good, because that part of me that was angry every time he was in the building was saying, “thank you for setting this boundary. Now we don’t need to engage with him.”  When he wanted my forgiveness, the part of my mental illness that leaves me easily taken advantage of became activated and scared. My anger jumped up and said, “but we felt safe when you were angry and had to tell him no. If you drop this, he will hurt us again. He’s manipulating you into not holding him accountable for him behavior; please don’t let this slide.”

But then my social conditioning kicked in and shamed me by saying, “y’know, people think you’re a terror and weak-minded for your anger. You’re a joke. Healthy people let things go.  Healthy people don’t cry about everything. If you don’t forgive him, it just means you’re a hateful person who likes discord. No one is going to believe your side, and he’s gonna tell the organizers that you’re a bitch and you’ll never get hired back.”

Conflicted, I just sat there and prayed, as I often do in situations where I feel stuck like this.  I kept saying, “I need to be angry, but I’m so scared to say so because he’ll just attack me and call me crazy. Everyone else will say he’s nice and I’m just creating problems. Please, please universe. I don’t trust that this person will miraculously wake up and stop being a pain in the ass. Please let him show his true colors again so I don’t have to go digging for them to prove a point. JUST GIVE ME A REASON.”

Moments later he did.  So when I laugh about being pleased about regaining permission to be angry, it’s not about being happy that this guy is a jerk.  In an ideal situation, it would have been great if he was never a jerk at all. It was the relief that he did the dirty work to prove my point, and I didn’t need to go through the painful emotional labor to call him out for it.  I was already exhausted from chasing after him all week for going into places that were off limits, throwing his equipment all over my paperwork and computer, tossing about my merch organization, and interrupting me in the middle of my job so I could serve him with something that was 100% his responsibility, only to have him unapologetically puff off and have mini-mantrums every time in response.

“But, but you told him it was fine! That’s a lie, and passive aggressive!”

Yep. You’re right. But with some people, you just have to smile while you hand them the shovel, tell them what a beautiful hole they’ve dug, and then walk away, because you’ll probably never get through to them with reason or vulnerability. And I found that, since I settled in my mind on him being total turd and no longer wrestling with whether or not I was supposed to like him, it was far easier for me to set boundaries for the rest of the week, because I had 0 investment in us getting along.  Whatever special treatment he wanted and wherever he wanted to go that was not accessible, I just smiled and said no.  I didn’t try to excessively explain myself or blame myself for his inconveniences. I just said no, gave him an option or two about how he could find an alternative, and then let him figure it out.

I think this story is important, because a lot of people assume that since I’m directing a project all about women’s anger, then I must be some kind of expert. Some people have called me the Queen of Anger.

I’m not.

More like, Queen of Self-Doubt Who Constantly Questions Her Reality And Just Wishes People Respected Her But Is Too Afraid To Ask For It And Why Can’t They Do It Without Being Told.

I really, really struggle with anger, which is why it’s so fascinating to me.  I’m often either trying to hide it, or exploding when it builds up too much.  By creating The Scarlet Tongue Project, part of my intention is to contribute to developing a world where women who struggle like me, and anyone else who struggles like them, don’t need to be afraid of this emotion anymore, and we can use it authentically to create the brightest, healthiest, loving lives we can.

If something hurts you today, I hope you are able to give yourself permission to be angry and say no.  If you don’t feel ready for that yet, but want to learn more about women who do, you can help out by supporting the Patreon for my film project at https://www.patreon.com/thescarlettongueproject

Thank you for reading!

 https://www.patreon.com/thescarlettongueproject

#rage #anger #boundaries #red #women #intersectional feminism #chocolate #fire

[dangernoodleofhell]

Killing me softly

It's 4 am And here I am Wanting to bath in holy water. First of all,a small notice:I tend to write long texts, so if you like to read,be my guest. Lately I've been a Mystic Messenger trash.I'm not going to lie,this game and it's character will always have a special place in my heart. If someone bothered to one day to check my Instagram will find a lot of fanart.Not just from mystic messenger but from other shows and games. I was about to write "from other fandoms" but I don't like that word. How many times you wrote or read something like: "Ladies and gentlemen: the X fandom" "What more you can expect from X fandom" We tend to generalize many by the action of few. And it's ok,we're humans and we make mistakes. The only problem it's when you don't acknowledge this and keep acting like a asshole to everyone. I LOVE stories. I love to read. Anything really,from food description to novels. Specially novels. And I have a weird taste. At the same time I'm watching Steven Universe,I'm here .4am,reading Killing Stalking and loving each page. Yep. I loved it. *pause to wait haters and intellectuals* First of all,it's really well written. It's intense and you never can guess what happen.You get all tense,scrolling the pages slowly afraid someone will hear you .Afraid something will happen.It really draws you to live a bit inside the story. What more you can expect from a psychological thriller? What's the difference between conventional thriller and psychological thriller? Hmmmmm.Let me put this way: A few days ago I was catching up with one of my favorite youtube channel about paranormal stuff .It was 12 am when I was done. The lights where out and I was alone. For a moment, I thought something would jump at me.Someone might show up on the windows. The danger was out there. This is conventional thriller. But when the danger is in your own head?if someone hold all your demons in a leash ready to attack you just because they can? Each step you take,all your fears and insecurities will come to get you.This turn a simply task,like open the door, in a dilemma. This is psychological thriller. That's the feeling you get from Killing Stalking. But a few weeks ago the fandom in the spotlight was Yuri on Ice. I'm note a huuuuge fan of anime. I tend to get attached to cartoon people.An as many of you I hate to wait months to my favorite shows get new episodes. So I did my best to avoid this show.But the little bastard always found a way to sneak into my dashboard timeline, messages and email. So I know a bit about what Yuri on Ice is about. The problem is the show is done.There's no new episode to watch? Oh no what should we do? Why not seek solace in the arms of another fandom? Just one night stand to fill this lonely nights until our loved one is back. The problem is this one night stand people found is Killing Stalking. For some twisted reason never want to find out,people thought they're related somehow. And this isn't all lie, both of them are fiction. But I can understand the shock of the transition of a lovely couple to something that it's nightmares is made off. But you got it coming. You knew what you're getting yourself into. What more you can expect from a psychological thriller? It's not a love story. It's not your average Yaoi.I doubt it's even Yaoi. It's made to feel you bad. It's made to make you think. It's fiction, do you drool all you want how the characters look hot when they're using glasses. But please. Keep it to yourself. Or at least,choose your words better. Don't bring this kind of though to real life. Maybe this is happening right now. Who knows what lies in your neighbor's basement? What if everyone has a pitch black place in their mind just waiting to be awoken? How much a human can handle without break? Different method,different reactions? This is one of the few questions that Killing Stalking left me to lull me to sleep tonight. That's why I think this manga is art.Because art should make you question the world you live in.Art is to make you feel uncomfortable. Art is to make you think. (It doesn't need to be anything deep like a psychological thriller. If makes you think its art.Even if is a spongebob episode) So guys ,my point is:you can like Yuri on Ice and Killing Stalking at the same time(if you're +18).Just don't mix up things. Its ok to ice skaters love each other,but kidnap and mibdfuck them all day isn't ok. I'll repeat myself: Don't bring this kind of though to real life. I had a person in my Facebook that always posted some weird drawings(mostly porn) of Lolicons (I guess that's the right name?) After all while this same person started to comment on photos(normal ones,thank gods) about what he would love to do with the girls in the pic. This girls didn't look like they had less 15 years old. Got what I mean? Don't cross the line between reality with fiction. U can draw/write/read storied with scenes of rape and violence all you want.Nobody is stopping you.Just DON'T THINK IT'S NORMAL. DON'T BRING THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOR TO REAL LIFE. I hope I made my point clear,and if not,my inbox is always open to talk. Talk. I won't waste my time with hatters and pointless discussions. So to YOI fans.Maybe something called Killing Stalking,Death Note,etc etc isn't your cup of tea.So it's better leave behind and look for something else. After all,we don't wanna anyone complaying about obivious things like "it's too violent" ;) If someone knows the author. Send my compliments and a hug 0/ *English it's not my native language, so feel free to correct me.And it's almost 6am now,great.Time to catch up with the chatrooms.Two more endings to go.

#killing stalking #yuri on ice #mystic messenger #yoi #ks #mysme #mm #yaoi #manga #spoilers #slice of life #fandom #fanfic #fanfiction #shitpost #text #text post #review #manga recommendation #manga review