#god this kept getting more and more incoherent as I wrote on. literally have to stop myself because no one would understand what I’m saying

[fever-project]

LU Superhero AU Rambling

It’s so hard to write my thoughts about my Superhero AU into words, so let’s skip a good chunk of the lore and talk about the Links. I’m going to be a bit incoherent because I am very tired right now.

Sky - So for starters there are Blessings and there are Powers. Powers are typically biological and Blessings are well, blessings from the gods. In Sky’s case, his Blessing was his prophetic dreams from Hylia. His Power is um, honestly somewhat body horror so I won’t describe it too much. To put it simply, he grows a bunch of wings, like a biblically accurate angel. And he has a bunch of feathers. Anyways, his Power is a secret to everyone, including Sun, mostly because he recently discovered that he had this power. Everyone else just thinks that his Blessing is actually his Power. So he doesn’t go out into the fray often, but he is good friends with all of the Heroes and Knights. He also goes go-karting with Wild.

Wild - Okay, it’s crazy time now. So Wild used to be a Hero in training and Flora’s personal Knight, but then the Calamity struck(which was much shorter compared to canon because modern AU) and he lost his memories while the other Champions lost their lives. As well as a bunch of other people like Wild’s entire family but let’s not worry about that. He got trapped in a multiple month coma while Flora held the Calamity in place. Then Wild woke up and helped end the Calamity. He didn’t wield the Master Sword for long(he physically couldn’t after he woke up, it burned him and sapped away his life force)but he did speed run fixing the Divine Beasts and gaining the Champion’s Power, since his Power is being able to use the Powers of ghost/spirits. But he kept this Power a secret mainly because he was in complete and utter denial about the ghosts of his friends following him around. He still thinks that he’s just gone crazy, because he would rather have that.

Twilight - Heheh. So, he doesn’t have a Power but does have a Blessing, which is his ability to turn into a wolf. He parades around in his wolf most of the time, the public believing that he’s just a magic wolf spirit that decided to protect humans. Time also used to do that, so everyone thinks the two wolves are related somehow. Twilight and Time are actually cousins in this AU, because they have to be related somehow. He has a heavy face of goth makeup to cover up his markings whenever he wants to go out. But he generally just stays in wolf form most of the time, his Hylian form having the wolf pelt covering his face-with the Hawkeye mask on underneath it-so that when he is forced to transition into a Hylian, no one would know who he was. He also doesn’t talk too much while disguised, only talking to Wild and Red.

Time - He’s a Hero, but not for the reasons you think. He doesn’t use his Power, or even most of his masks, he’s just a great fighter and can be very intimidating. He wears the Mask of Truth almost all the time while on duty, with some people thinking that it allows him to read the minds of his opponents. It doesn’t do that, but it does helps him talk to Twi while he’s in wolf form. When not on duty, he’s on the farm, with his lovey wife Malon and occasionally blessed with the appearance of Twi in his full face of goth makeup. Time knows that the wolf is Twi but doesn’t tell him, it’s a lot funnier this way.

Wars - So there was this time war that no one remembers except for him, Lana, Commander(aka Artemis but I don’t like calling her that sry), and General Impa. So most know of Wars as an exceptionally excellent Knight turned Hero, who is currently training a younger Hero, Wind. Wars’ Power is the ability to use and identify different magical attributes, like Light, Dark, Fire, Water, and Lightning. Also because of the time war, everything kinda got messed up. Basically, it’s the cause of this AU every existing. Wars is very aware of this. He feels very responsible for this, because the whole thing started because Cia is a horrible person and wanted to be with him.

Wind - His Hero name is Wind Waker. Need I say more. He has wind powers. I honestly can’t think of much for him rn, I’m so sorry.

Four - He still hides the fact that he can split into four, but now he is split into four all the time while on duty. Legend is the only one who is aware of this, mainly because he had used the 4Sword before. Four’s Power is being able to turn into a Minish. Also Red is besties with Wolf Twi, they care so much about each other it’s so cute and I wish I could share all my thoughts about it. But alas, I am not going to, because I am far too tired.

Legend - The most famous Hero, unfortunately. He has no Powers of his own, but he does have a fuck ton of magical items and is very skilled with them. Before the story starts he had just came back from Hytopia, being a Triforce Ranger and having the time of his life. But now he has the Power to move his soul between the Doppels, and potentially…other vessels. He’s not going to tell anybody about this, of course not. Currently is training Hyrule, because he feels like Hyrule is connected to him, somehow.

Hyrule - He has a lot of Powers, he is the magic man. He’s a Hero in training even though he already saved two Zeldas, but that’s partially because his area of Hyrule he was from was far away from the area of Hyrule the story’s set. They don’t know much about him and his Zeldas. 

Also this is all subject to change and may not be indicative of my actual thoughts and plans for this AU since I am not great at explaining things, especially right now.

#linked universe #linked universe au #lu sky #lu wild #lu twilight #lu time #lu warriors #lu wind #lu four #lu legend #lu hyrule #super hero au #god this kept getting more and more incoherent as I wrote on. literally have to stop myself because no one would understand what I’m saying #I barely understand what I was saying ngl #I’ll uh revisit this one day #I got a lot to say about four twi and wild specially #fever rambles

[shemarmooresfedora]

Sugary Sweet Apologies

Summary: You and Reid never really got along but when he saves your life, you decide to be the bigger person and thank him and hopefully start over. Unfortunately, it isn’t that easy.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Content/Warnings: light to mild angst with fluffy ending, swearing, spencer reid being an annoying bitch, brief mentions of case stuff (if you watch cm, you should be fine)

A/N: this is for @willowrose99 ‘s 1 year anniversary on tumblr writing challenge!! congrats! i literally wrote and edited this whole thing in less than one day because i got so excited, anyways i hope you enjoy!

Word Count: 1.8k

“Reid and Y/L/N, go to David Whitney’s house. He was the therapist of two of the three victims. He could have some insight into the victimology and know of any overlap between them. He has no criminal record of past aggressive behavior but we can’t rule him out as a suspect entirely,” Hotch stated.

“Hotch, you stuck me with her yesterday for the geographical profiling. Send Prentiss with her instead,” Spencer whined.

“I don’t mind going with Y/L/N. She is a great partner in the field,” Emily glared at Spencer.

“No. Reid, go with Y/L/N or be taken off this case. I’m a unit chief, not an elementary school teacher. I don’t have time for temper tantrums,” Hotch chided.

“Fine,” Spencer grumbled as you grabbed the keys to an SUV.

You don’t know what it was but ever since you started at the BAU four months ago, Spencer had never liked you which resulted in you disliking him as well. Everyone else on the team was super friendly and welcoming but Reid always was jabbing snarky remarks your way like “I don’t have time to explain it to you” or “This was in the FBI handbook. God, you need more training.”

Luckily, the others were quick to defend you. Once Garcia even heard him snip at you over the phone and as soon as you all got off the elevator after the case, Reid was being dragged by his ear into Garcia’s lair with him going “ow ow ow” behind her. So, you didn’t really pay much mind to him because you could deal with one annoying know-it-all to have such an amazing job with great coworkers minus the one.

“Look, I’m not happy about this either,” you said as you climbed into the driver’s side of the SUV, “But at least I’m not being a whiny bitch about it and being rude to the other person’s face.”

“Oh wow, I’m so sorry that I hurt your feelings,” Spencer mocked.

“Fuck you, Reid,” you shook your head.

-

David Whitney was on edge the second you arrived and showed him your badges. He was bouncing his leg up and down, he couldn’t sit still, and he kept avoiding eye contact.

He knew way too much about the other victim that wasn’t even one of his clients but you didn’t have anything solid on him. His house seemed very neat so you doubted he kept anything incriminating here. Organized offenders usually have a secondary location. So, you decided to push his buttons a little.

“I mean blitz attacks, leaving the bodies on the side of dirt roads,” you combed through the crime scene photos, “This guy was a real coward.”

Spencer picked up on what you were trying to do and his eyes widened, he was subtly shaking his head and mouthing “no”.

“Excuse me?” David asked.

“Well, I’m just saying a real man wouldn’t cower in the bushes and blindside a woman. He must not be very strong,” you stated, “He probably can’t even get it up.”

Before you even had time to react, David pulled out a switchblade knife from inside the couch cushions and put you in a chokehold, pressing the cool metal up to your throat. You closed your eyes tightly.

“David, you don’t have to do this,” Spencer stood with his gun pointed at you both.

“This bitch insulted me,” he snarled.

“She insults me too. That doesn’t make you any less of a man,” Spencer spoke carefully, “Just put the knife down and I’ll escort you out.”

David sighed, dropping the knife to the floor and releasing you.

Spencer put David in handcuffs and walked him outside as reinforcements came running in.

“Are you okay, Y/L/N?” Hotch asked.

“Yep, a little shaken up but fine. Thank you,” you stood.

“Let’s get you to the medics,” Morgan grabbed your arm to support you as you walked over to the ambulance.

Spencer never checked on you.

-

You knew your decision in the field was a little rash and you wanted to thank Spencer for essentially saving your life.

However, there was no way in hell you could verbally get out an apology while staring at his smug face, but you could bake. You settled on a note tucked inside a tupperware container of your Grandma’s special recipe of chocolate chip cookies. It was a good peace offering, maybe even a chance to start fresh.

During your lunch break, you took the tupperware from your desk drawer and approached the break room where Reid had entered about 5 minutes ago.

“I’m just saying I could not have been more clear in my message to her that it was too dangerous but of course, Y/L/N didn’t listen cause Y/L/N is going to do whatever she feels like,” Spencer stirred his coffee.

No one had noticed you standing in the doorway yet.

“Reid, you’ve got to be nicer to her. She earned her spot here just like the rest of us,” Emily defended you.

“Did she though? How much do we really know about her? She couldn’t even tell me how many pages the FBI protocol manual was,” Spencer said.

“That’s not a normal thing people know,” Morgan retorted.

“Well, I’m just saying the team was perfectly fine before her and it would probably be better off if she left,” Reid finished.

Garcia looked up from her yogurt to see you standing there, “Oh, Y/N”.

Spencer turned around in his chair as you angrily stormed up to him.

“Here’s your cookies, asshole,” you seethed, grabbing the note from inside and crumpling it up into a little ball and tossing it into the trash.

“Y/N!” Emily called after you but you were already gone.

The whole team glared at Spencer and picked up their lunches, leaving him alone at the table.

Spencer retrieved the balled up paper from the trash, having to fish through Rossi’s week old pasta and Anderson’s half eaten tuna fish sandwich.

Dear Reid,

Thank you for saving my life, I guess. These are my Grandma’s secret recipe for chocolate chip cookies so I hope you enjoy. I think we got off on the wrong foot and I would like to start over. I think cases would be a lot less miserable for everyone if we got along.

Thanks again,

Y/L/N

Spencer, you’re such an idiot, he thought to himself.

You never came back after your lunch break ended and Derek made Spencer go tell Hotch why it’s his fault you were missing the rest of the day.

He tried to call you multiple times but they always rang out before going to voicemail.

Spencer hesitantly knocked on Penelope’s door at the end of the day.

“Is she okay?” he asked softly.

“You don’t get to ask that as the person who hurt her in the first place. Also, she told me to tell you that don’t you dare go to her apartment to ‘check on her’. I’m headed over there myself actually,” Penelope collected her things and shut off her monitors.

“Will you at least tell her I’m really sorry?” Spencer followed her to the elevator.

“Absolutely not. I’m not doing any apologizing on your behalf,” Penelope huffed as the elevators shut.

-

You came in the next morning, keeping your head down. You grabbed a pen from your cup holder and the first folder on your stack before getting to work.

You were on the second page of the file when your clean, empty tupperware was placed in front of you plus another baking dish with aluminum foil over the top.

You glanced up to see Spencer guiltily looking down at you and you returned your eyes back to the file.

“I-I made you cinnamon rolls,” Spencer broke the silence.

“Are they poisoned?” you asked, not sparing him another glance.

“No, they’re not poisoned,” he assured you.

“I’m just saying how can I trust you as you have made it very apparent you would like me off this team.”

“I didn’t mean that,” Spencer was quick to reply.

“Then why the hell did you say it, Reid?” you slammed your pen down.

You grabbed your empty coffee mug and briskly walked to the break room but unfortunately, Spencer was right behind you.

“I didn’t eat any of your cookies by the way. Not that I didn’t want to but I felt like I didn’t deserve them so I handed them out to everyone else.”

“Oh how kind, taking credit for my work,” you tried to close the door in his face.

“I told them that they were from you,” Spencer insisted.

You rolled your eyes as Spencer grabbed the coffee pot before you could get to it, pouring your mug of coffee for you.

“What do you want from me, Reid?” you asked defeatedly.

“I want you to try a cinnamon roll and let me explain.”

“Fine but only because I didn’t have breakfast yet and I want to critique your baking skills,” you huffed, walking back to your desk.

Spencer gingerly placed one of the sticky frosting-coated rolls on a napkin and pushed it towards you. You tentatively bit into it. Damn it, it was actually delicious.

“It’s okay,” you understated.

You knew Spencer hardly ever used his kitchen let alone be up baking all night. He even chose a recipe that required more time and effort because the yeast dough would have to rise for a few hours.

“That’s good. The first batch didn’t come out as great...or the second,” he smiled softly.

“Well, the floor is all yours, Reid. Please explain to me why you talk shit about me to my co-workers when I’m in the other room,” you leaned back in your chair and crossed your arms.

Spencer muttered something incoherent.

“I have to hear the apology, you know,” you said, enjoying watching him uncomfortable.

“You’re intimidating to me because you’re intelligent, beautiful, and courageous. I think I was a little jealous that my spotlight as the ‘kid’ of the BAU was coming to an end so I said some harsh, completely untrue things and I’m sincerely sorry.”

“Oh my god,” you smirked, “Hotch was right, you are an elementary school kid.”

“In what way?” he curiously asked.

“You like me like like like me. You don’t know how to talk to the girl so you pull her pigtails on the playground,” you giggled.

“I take it back. You’re a horrible profiler,” Spencer was getting up from his seat, completely flustered.

“Awww,” you were laughing at Spencer’s bright red face as he went to go to the break room to fill his coffee mug.

When he got back to his desk, a sticky note was placed front and center.

In typical elementary school fashion…

Will you go get coffee with me?

Check:

Yes

or

No

Spencer smiled before picking up his pen and checking one of the boxes, crumpling the sticky note up into a ball and throwing it over to your desk.

“Good choice. See you Saturday at 9 at the cafe down the street,” you grinned.

“It’s a date,” he smiled.

#willsannievent #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid angst #spencer reid fluff #spencer x reader #reid x reader #spencer reid #cm fanfic #criminal minds

[loudstan]

Epiphany (P1. 13, FINALE)

A collection of  NCT werewolf AU stories.

Doyoung (pt.1) (pt.2) (pt. 3) (pt. 4) (pt. 5) (pt. 6) (pt. 7) (pt. 8) (pt. 9) (pt. 10) (pt. 11) (pt. 12) (PT. 13 FINALE)

Summary: The wolf population kept decreasing and those who were left had a hard time trying to fit  into society. Sure, people didn’t consider them as dangerous as vampires, but wolves could still sense some hostility every time they did as much as go for a walk in a public place. Thanks to wolves’ natural magical abilities, NCT (one of the remaining packs) found a safe place among witches in a town where no one knew their secret, allowing some members to finally get a job, study and interact with others without fear of being rejected.Life seems to finally be peaceful for them… except that wolves have needs, and one of those needs is finding their mate.

Pairing: Werewolf! Doyoung x Witch! female reader

Warnings: smut

“So you’re okay with this?” you asked

In awe, he nodded and you wasted no time.

You straddled him again and with no warning you pumped his length a couple of times, lined yourself up and started to sink down.

Desperately, Doyoung scratched the couch to the point he tore the soft fabric up, mumbling something you couldn’t quite comprehend.

If you weren’t so turned on you would have laughed at his weak attempt to stay still while you were sitting there, taking all of him. You thought that convincing him would be harder, but he was clearly about to lose it.

“Are you sure you don’t want to touch me?” you teased, giving a tentative bounce.

He sobbed and squirmed, still babbling nonsense.

“What was that?” you asked leaning closer so you could hear what you were sure was a string of curses and moans. Instead it was more coherent than you expected, and in Latin.

A spell?

You sat up just in time to see a dim light surrounding his wrists, glueing them efficiently to the couch.

“The handcuff spell? Seriously?” he was either being childish or kinky. Handcuffing himself with magic to control his wolf? “How long can you keep the spell going though?” you scoffed.

“I-it’s not up to m-me,” he sighed, slightly relieved that the spell had worked. “It will vanish once you say the password.”

“So, a safeword? Fine, what is it?”

“You’ll h-have to figure it out,” he had the audacity to smirk when he wanted this as much as you. Maybe even more than you, he was the one who got physical pain if he couldn’t have his mate.

“Have it your way,” you said, giving another bounce. “ Like I need your help to get off.”

“We’ll see a-about that.”

You decided not to argue anymore, quickening the pace instead and effectively turning him into a moaning mess. Or maybe the one moaning was you, you couldn’t quite tell at this point.

As the minutes went by and the air grew thicker, your whole body was trembling as you felt him grow inside of you.

“O-oh, god,” you panthed. “ Are you getting b-bigger? Is that your knot?”

Doyoung, who had been observing you with lidded eyes the entire time, finally had something to say.

“Uh, n-not yet. That’s just m-me…”

“Oh… but that means that knots...are a thing, right?

“Y-yeah, it normally happens during heats, but it can also happen if we...get really worked up,” he said, licking his lips. “ But it takes a while of uh...fucking for that to happen. You know, basic werewolf anatomy.”

You looked at where your bodies were connected, your mind completely blank. You had stopped listening after he confirmed he could indeed knot you. You had never thought you were into that before, but there was something so animalistic about being knotted that you could only think about that now.

With a new purpose in mind, you gathered the strength you had left and rode him hard. Doyoung looked at you with wide eyes.

“D-does that turn you on?” he asked in disbelief in between moans.

You whined and nodded. Normally you wouldn’t admit it, but your pride was long gone.

“Yeah? My needy little mate wants my knot? Oh- so g- ah! That feels so good, baby. Just like that, just like that,” Doyoung was also leaving all formality behind, seeing you so desperate for him.

His praises served you as motivation to continue moving, even though your legs had given out. Frustrated, you tried to force yourself to ride him, only managing to grind harsh and slow.

“I can’t, please!” you sobbed incoherently.

“Keep going. Keep fucking going. Come on baby, use me,” he encouraged you while trying his best to thrust his hips into you. He couldn’t fuck you properly if he couldn’t move freely, but it was better than nothing. You were willing to take anything.

“More, more please oh my god,” you gasped as he gave you a few more thrusts, mixed with the weak movements your body could offer in your state.

“Are you gonna cum soon, hmm?” he hissed. “A-re you satisfied?”

“No!” you wailed. You were oh so close, but you didn’t want to cum just yet. “Y-your knot, want your knot.”

“Fuck!” he growled and his member twitched inside of you. “I wanna breed you so bad. You’re mine, mine, mine-”

It was the possessiveness in his voice that had you reaching your climax and collapsing on top of him while he whispered sweet nothings in your ear.

“Good girl, you did so well. I love you so much.”

“Love you too,” you replied weakly, closing your eyes to welcome what you thought would be a long nap, when you heard a sudden snap and Doyoung’s arms surrounded your body.

“Finally,” he growled next to your ear and before you could even blink, he manhandled you so you were on your back under him.

“Wha-” you tried to question what had just happened when he connected his lips with yours into a passionate kiss.

“Did we really have to go this far for you to admit that you love me?” he asked between kisses. “I literally had to fuck the confession out of you.”

“T-that was the password?” you asked gasping when he kissed his way to your breasts.

“Not necessarily,” he delicately licked at one of your niples before sucking on it, moaning.. “The only condition was that you admit your true feelings for me, whether you felt something or not.”

He released the sensitive nub and gave it a last kiss before going back up and pinning your wrists above your head with just one of his large hands. His other hand travelled down to grab his member and without a warning he re-entered you.

You literally shrieked and squirmed under him.

“Too s-sensitive-AH!” your eyes rolled back when he pushed himself in deeper than he could when he was tied up.

“Shh, baby. Don’t you want my knot?” he purred, grabbing your hips and pulling you onto his cock again and again.

“Oh my god, ohmygod,” was all you could mumble.

“Fuck, you like that, baby?” he gritted as he lifted one of your legs and his pace accelerated.

The new angle and how deep he could reach now had you arching your back and letting out a silent scream.

He pulled his hips into him harder and faster, his knot slowly forming at the base of his length. He let out a shaky moan as he forced it inside of you, your mind too blinded with pleasure to feel any pain at first, but when the rest of it started growing inside of you, you panicked.

“It’s too big, s’ too much-please” you scratched his arms and back.

“Take it,” he simply said as his knot grew further while he fucked into you. “I’m gonna fill you up so good.”

Your entire body was shaking. You had never felt so full. And just when you thought the pleasure couldn’t be better than this, Doyoung gasped dramatically and halted his movements. Your eyes followed to where he was looking: at the very bottom of your belly there was a little bump.

“Y/n, look,” he said, caressing your belly as if he was hypnotized. “I’m so deep inside of you.”

“Fuck,” you were officially losing it now. Your locked your legs around his hips, trying to fuck yourself into him. “Give me your knot, give it to me.”

He didn't need to be told twice. He pulls you into him as he fucks forward as fast and hard as he can.

“You want it? You want me to cum right inside of you where I belong?”

“Yes! yes, yes,yes, yes, oh fuck!”

You spasmed around him and reached your high as he fucked you brutally. Right after, he fell forward, his knot squirting furiously inside of you as he let out a delirious laugh, lost in pleasure.

“Oh, y/n look at how good you take it,” he gritted while his hand reached for your clit and rubbed it quickly. “One more time, baby, cum for me one more time, come on.”

Sobbing desperately you felt another wave of pleasure hit you, your entire body trembling before you relaxed completely. You felt Doyoung panting next to your ear, before he started licking and sucking on the mark he had left there weeks ago.

It must be a wolf thing, you thought gaining back some of your long forgotten ability to think.

“Sorry. I'll remember to use a condom for the next round,” he said softly. “I’ll also get you plan B if we need it.”

“You’re lucky I’m on the pill. How many rounds are we talking about?” you asked breathlessly.

“Enough to fuck the attitude out of you-ouch!” he laughed when you hit his arm. “I don’t know, it could take one more round or we could be here all week.”

“Well, fuck.”

“Yep, fuck indeed.”

You two remained in silence for a few minutes before he broke the silence again.

“Can we please be together now? Like, really together. As a couple? I mean, we don’t have to, but-”

You bursted out laughing, but stopped when you saw the insecurity in his eyes. Seriously, only he could get insecure when his knot was locked inside of you.

“On one condition: I get an A for my last written assignment.”

He stared at you in disbelief before he let out a chuckle.

“I’ll reread and re-evaluate every single assignment you wrote this year, after I make you squirt.

“Deal.”

#nct doyoung #nct drabbles #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct smut #doyoung #doyoung smut #kim doyoung

[blake-belladonna-defence-force]

It's the ✨annoying little shit✨ again

The Gremlin anon😺

Here is the ✨update✨ with what happend ✨yesterday night✨ and also ✨today morning✨

So, after I wrote my roommates conversation with Miss oh honey, I started reading it and

MY GOD!!! GIVE ME A BREAK FROM THE GAY!!!

I'M NOT USED TO THIS KIND OF CONSERN FROM SOMEONE!!! IT'S SO FUCKING ADORABLE!!!

I'M GONNA PASS OUT OF GAY OVERDOSE!!!

I wanna kiss my roommate so bad ;-;

BUT I'M TOO SHY FOR THAT!!!

But before I could panic even more, Miss oh honey gets in (I was in my roommates room because it's bigger than mine since we agreed to sleep together) and asks with big grin on her face "How ya doin?"

"Gay- Gay panic"

"Oh honey you need to make a move soon or roommates name won't handel it"

"What do you mean?"

"Honey you know that they are conserned about you and already doing that ugly sad kitten face"

"I don't think it's ugly"

"Of course you don't, you love roommates name! But now, take my advice and make a bloody move! I WANT PROGRESS IN MY SHIP"

Before I could say anything she got away and shortly after my roommate got back and didn't notice I was there

I was coverd in their blankets like a cotton ball with only my head slightly out, and for the face my roommate was doing they were in auto pilot mode

They literally started changing in front of me

And did I say anything? No cause PANIC

I COULDN'T STOP LOOKING!!!!

I TRIED TO OPEN MY MOUTH TO SPEAK BUT THERE WAS NO SOUND!!!! I COULDN'T AND I FELT LIKE A PERVERT FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO LOOK AWAY!!! I FELT SO BAD ABOUT MYSELF!!!

BUT THANKS TO JESUS AND HOLY MOTHER I GOT CONTROL OVER MY HANDS AND COVERD THE REST OF MY HEAD WITH BLANKETS BEFORE MY ROOMMATE TOOK OUT THEIR PANTS!!!

(I could only see their back since they were turned around BUT if they took their pants off... I don't want more panic and gay thoughts so I wont think about it)

As I evolved into a full white ball of blankets I felt a tap on the blankets. I got my head out and I saw my roommate only with a fucking top on, but with a really sofh expression that made me melt

IT WAS SO CUTE!!! I CAN'T HANDLE THIS!!!

But while I panicked they started laughing and saying that I looked like a cute tiny fluff ball

I never blushed so must for a laugh and a compliment, that laugh was music, I want more ;-;/

FUCKING KISS ME ALREADY!!!

But as I keep staring without being able to say anything they grafmdualy stoped laughing and started looking conserned/sad (sad kitty face here we go again) and then they look down and finally notice they are only with a top on and then they say "oh- sorry" and put a shirt on

BUT I'M NOT GONNA BE QUIET THIS TIME AND I WILL SAY SOMETHING

And what I said was "Nice"

Just that... WHY ON HELL DIDN'T I SAY SOMETHING ELSE!?!? WHY GOD??? WHYYYYY!!!!??

But before I died of embaressment they asked "Nice what?"

"You are nice- I mean- I just- You are nice to me! You always have been since the beggining and uuhh... I just- I don't want you to be sad or- or think you are a jerk just because I got embaressed in the kitchen and uuhh-"

"Wait, how do you know about me thinking that?"

"I- I could hear you two talking"

"shit"

And this when I finally notice how hard blushing!!! Were they that embaressed? But before I could jump into conclusions I rembered Miss oh honeys advice abd asked "Uh- glup Why are you so worried about me?"

Looked at me with an expression I couldn't quite read and said "It's cause- sigh You've already been through so much... You deserve to at least be confortable in your own house, to have a safe place to yourself... Don't you think?"

I just- Give me second I need to CRY MY EYES OUT!!! WHY ARE TOU SO CUTE!?!? WHY!!!?? WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME!!!!???

*incoherent gay gremlin noises*

I didn't notice I was crying until my roommate, with a very conserned voice, asks "Are you ok!? Why are you crying!?"

I kept sobbing until the picked me up, with blankets and all, and hugged me tight

I NEVER FELT SO GAY WITH JUST A HUG!!! IT WAS SO SAFE AND WARM!!!

I MELTED!!! I'M NOW A GAY GREMLIN JELLY!!!

At a certant point they layed down with me and cuddled me. I felt so tiny but yet so loved, it was so good and safe ;w;

Is this what real actually good relationships feel like? Cause I love it ;w;

I'M GAYING SO MUCH OVER THIS!!!

And before we went to sleep, my roommate wiped my tears and said "Well, if it makes you feel better, I think you're hella strong"

"snif What do you mean?"

"I mean- I still about that time I saw you knocking out a guy, that was built like a greek god, twice your sise, in front of our door step!"

"Oh that- that was just-"

"Was just hella impressive!!! I ALMOST DROPED MY FOOD!!!"

THIS IDIOT MAKES ME CRY AND THEN LAUGH AND FEEL HELLA GAY ALL THE FUCKING TIME!!! don't GIVE ME A BREAK!!! I NEED TO REST!!! And that's actually what I said to them, but more like this

"Jesus Crist- Look, let's sleep already before I pass out" AND MANAGE TO SOUND FUCKING CASUAL ABOUT IT!!!

It was because I was really tired

BUT STILL COUNTS AS A VICTORY!!!

So, after I said that, my roommate nods in aproval and fucking kisses me in the forehead

WHAT'S WITH YOU AND MY FOREHEAD!!!??

Anyway, we fell asleep and this morning when I woke up, first thing I do is check tumbler, and when I get there I see shitlords ask about gremlin-fever and the gremlin in back of my head is like pspspsps do iittt

After I send that ask about giving permition for you to use my story as a fanfic I put my phone back in the table, roll over, and PROCEED TO HAVE A FUCKING HEAR ATTACK!!!

THAT DORK ON HAS SHORT AND A TOP COVERING THEM!!! IT'S FUCKING FREEZING OUTSIDE THE BED BUT THEY ARE BOILING!!! LITERAL VOLCANO TEMPERATURE!!!

I'm starting to think that shitlord anon was right about the fevor in a literal way...

BUT THIS IS NOT WHAT BOTHERS ME THE MOST!!!! THE FACT THAT I CAN FEEL EVERY INCH OF SKIN IN THEIR BODY!!!

But them I look down and see their arms around me AND FUCKING HELL HOW STRONG IS THIS BITCH!?!?!

I probably panicked for and hour or so before I realize... I CAN TOUCH IT

I now I'm the volcano!!! But when I start touching their belly OUT OF GAY CURIOSITY

THEY OPENED THEIR EYES AND ASK "What are you doing?"

WHAT DO I ANWSER TO THAT!!!??? I CANNOT JUST SAY I WAS TOUTCHING YOU OUT OF GAY PANIC

BUT IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVE A BETTER EXCUSE THAN THAT!!!

So, as an intellectual, I said "I- I was j-just c-curious to know how it f-feels to touch it"

"You were curious to know how it feels to touch other persons abs?"

"Well... Yeah b-but not- Not, like- I'm inocent I swear!!!"

They started laughing at me and got closer, and with their fucking casualty say "You can it I don't mind, you're inocent after all"

I WANNA DIG A HOLE AND HIDE!!! YE GODS ABOVE HELP ME!!!

But I remberem shitlords anon little tip, and actually got the courage to kiss their forehead. The moment I kiss tgeir forehead they stop laughing and blankly stare at me for a solid minute, BUT THIS TIME I'M GONNA BE THE ONE TEASING BITCH, so I said what shitlord anon said "I was just checking your temperature, you look like you might have a fever"

I MANAGED TO HAVE COURAGE TO SAY THAT WITHOUT SOUNDING LIKE A DYING SQUIRREL!!!!

IT'S REVENGE FOR MY ENDLESS PANICS!!!

They didn't even say anything anymore, they just nooded, IT WAS PRICELESS!!!

But then, Miss oh honey opens the door saying "GOOD MORNING LOVE BIR- Oh- Am I interupting something?"

We both just stare and since she cant se if we have clothes or not due to the blankets she does a shit-eating-grin and says "Oh- Sorry to interrupt your bonding time~ I will let you continue~ giggles"

I DIED RIGHT THERE!!!

But my roommate was FUCKING PISSED

They got out of bed and started chasing her, screaming her name in pure rage!!

And I stayed in the room... Looking at the ceiling... Thinking about my life choices...

BUT PLEASE CAN SOMEONE SEND HELP

I need it ;-;

IT'S TOO MUCH GAY PANICS!!!! HELP!!!

And also, Miss oh honey is gonna sleep here today, cause aparently one of her neighbors has covid, and his wife texted everyone that he is coming back from the hospital so he can rest home (cause the hospitals are all full and he is not having trouble with the desease), like, he got positive a month ago, and Miss oh honey went for test and got negative, she stayed at home for a while to make sure she was okay, and since her covid neighbor wasn't at home with is family cause ge stayed in the hospital (and none of is family has covid, fortunatly)

So, baisically shes gonna stay for while...

Hope ya'll have a nice day/afternoon/evening/night

- gay panic Gremlin anon

Holy shit— you go, Gremlin anon! I don’t think I’ve ever been this proud of a stranger before in my life 😂

Y’all are too cute and I’m dying. Good luck with your roommate and your wingwoman Miss “oh honey”, Gremlin anon xD

[mittensmorgul]

A lot of people keep saying that 15x20 was Chuck's ending, but... it wasn't? All of Chuck's endings had Sam and Dean sacrificing themselves or one another or otherwise "going down swinging", but what we saw instead was a random accident. No fanfare, no blaze of glory or sacrifice of any kind, no "epic tragedy". Kind of like getting poisoned by a bad taco. Unless Chuck just got fed up with the story and, taking notes from Gabriel, wrote a nonsensical boring ending purely out of spite.

It was Chuck’s ending in that if he’d actually been defeated, Sam and Dean would’ve been free. They were not. One still died “so the other could live,” and the finale even cancelled that bit with the Sam Wig Montage and having him end up dead, too.

For all the nightmare scenarios Chuck showed them, for all the “one brother murders the other” prompting he gave Sam, that was never the true core of his story. It was always about one sibling dying/being removed from the story so that the other could control the entire narrative. That was his original story with Amara. That was the “justification” he sought through every retelling of all his greatest hits. That was ultimately the story that “won” in Supernatural.

I’ve now been discussing this with some kind folks on discord, and we’ve gone down about a million tangents... but I have a few links to meta written on the subject I’ll provide as a result. But first, a short diversion into my own contribution to this conversation:

Recall how it seemed obvious that Dabb's authorial self-insert character was Billie. How from her intro she was both the character most intent on finding Balance in the universe AND had a Final Antagonist coding to her, in that she was the End Of Their Story in a very literal way. [12:55 PM] (I am going somewhere with this, I swear) [12:56 PM] Then she was shown in her library, with the myriad possible deaths Dean could suffer, and we wondered why he had so many books with so many different endings especially when the books could "rewrite" themselves as people lived and made choices that altered their fate. [12:59 PM] Chuck's hand-- even if he couldn't "read" those books himself or mess with them directly-- could "write" so may potential endings for Dean that would all have to be accounted for by Fate. Cosmically gaming the system by making it impossible for Dean to make ANY choice that wouldn't be accounted for somewhere. Which is the hamster wheel Dean described of never actually having lived his own life... [1:02 PM] But this is now making me furious. Because Billie was supposed to be the END of the story. Dabb was supposed to finally CLOSE the book of fate, having mended the imbalance of the universe. But like Billie, who Chuck disliked for "meddling" in his story despite her meddling being entirely focused on repairing the ever-worsening cosmic imbalance his story was creating, Dabb was sort of growing desperate toward the end. He slipped up. His plan to kill God was ALWAYS doomed to fail (because the network forbade it... it was NEVER going to happen, EVER, and loads of US knew that and it left me completely side-eyeing Billie's whole plan with Jack, because I KNEW it could never happen that way... yet Dabb kept driving the bus in that direction despite us all knowing it had to fail, that they would not be allowed to kill God in primetime network tv...) [1:03 PM] And that was Billie's downfall... because "the plan" was doomed to fail. [1:03 PM] And that was also Dabb's downfall, but he held the authorial intent to keep making it seem like a possibility, to his own detriment. [1:04 PM] Once Billie's plan failed, and she was sucked into the empty with Cas, all that was left was Chuck As Author.

I've been thinking of Billie's downfall as a sort of Winchester Derangement Syndrome, [1:05 PM]

There is zero doubt in me that Chuck was the ultimate winner.

But like... secondary derangement as a side effect of her position in the cosmos as the balance point of life and death, and the absolute Chaos Vacuum generated around the Winchesters by Chuck's constant meddling.

but at the end we learn it was ALL CHUCK. The Winchesters wanted to retire from fucking with cosmic forces! They never wanted that AT ALL. That's what Chuck wanted them to play with, though, so kept setting scenarios where they would have "no other choice" but to run headlong into another cosmic battle

every time they mentioned the toes in the sand, or any hint at wanting anything outside of hunting and cosmic disasters, it was a red flag that Chuck was about to step in with a new Hammurabi-Gun-Level fuckery [1:11 PM]

(pardon the timestamps from discord, I’m too lazy to delete them all)

(we’re now discussing how Becky actually was the best writer in the show, how Chuck couldn’t take criticism from her AT ALL and his only reaction to her being literally RIGHT about it being an awful story was to snap her out of existence... so like... makes the ending even that much worse, that it looked like he surface-level stole a few snippets of Becky’s preferred story-- doing laundry and talking to each other-- but then dismissed all that and flipped to Chuck’s preferred narrative of bringing on the monsters. Pointlessly, hopelessly. It’s like a sad, emotionless pantomime of the sort of story Becky would’ve told. But Becky recognized her issues and sought out therapy. Chuck... never would, and never did.)

(lol we’re now serving up fresh shattered glass in the discord server)

There is no explanation for this finale aside from “Chuck’s story won in the end.” He was vindicated by it. It functions as a “moral justification through parallel” of his own actions-- fridging Amara to maintain full control of the narrative.

And now those links I promised... a tumblr post on monsters in Supernatural:

https://trisscar368.tumblr.com/post/638157515063951360/of-villains-and-monsters-and-the-tragedy-of

and a post on AO3 (too long for tumblr, about 7k words about Death In Supernatural... even if you’re not up for a read that long, scroll down toward the end and at LEAST read the tl;dr of the finale segment of the essay)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28831941

Sorry if this is a bit incoherent. I’ve been tabbing back and forth on this for like an hour now, in abject frustration over it all. If you’d like clarification on any point I attempted to make here, I invite further questions. But short of writing a thesis-length treatise, I don’t know if I can possibly explain it all more concisely than this ^^

#spn 15.20 #spn 15.04 #chuck's process #Anonymous

[writingbakery]

“an andorian, a bezoid, & a tessian walk into a bar”

another one of my favorite works is here! i originally wrote this for a different fandom, & rewrote it to fit here. i’m in love with this story, it’s one of my absolute favorites; please leave me feedback about it! a second part is in the works ✨ taglist; @secondhand-trash @redbeanteax @togasknifes

[some notes: denki is an andorian, a very tall race of aliens who are very nimble, skilled silent warriors when needed. hitoshi is a bezoid, from a mining planet, broad, tough, good with any sort of weapon but mainly guns, & you are a rare species called tessian, lil shapeshifting aliens that were often sold as slaves way back in the day on illegal black markets due to their skill! ULC means universal language chip, & the fleet is my version of the interspace police! ]

[pairing; poly!shinkami x reader]

[warnings; space jokes, cussing, dangerous scenarios, extremely Buff Aliens, violence, angst, fluff]

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

if you asked hitoshi shinsou what he would describe as a perfect day, he would tell you this: waking up in his quarters on the isla bella, the smooth glide of their ship through space flowing uninterrupted. there are no parts that need replacing, no angry merchants on their tail for undelivered merchandise, nothing but the clean quiet of the stars & the faint glow of space flitting through the small window by his bed, denki fast asleep against his chest. he’d card his fingers through the andorian’s glimmering gold hair, kiss along the slope of his nose & bask in his quiet beauty. that would be a perfect day for him; lounging in bed with his freakishly tall, giggly lover without a care in the world.

the last thing he’d consider to be a perfect day is running across the burning - literally in flames burning - sand of a deserted planet with two grogorians firing photon lasers at his skinny ass, skidding between the roaring flames of the ground beneath him & the sting of the lasers with denki screaming unintelligible commands & curses in his ear via comm. he’d consider that a bottom of the barrel kind of day.

you can probably guess which kind of day he’s having.

cursing under his breath as he slips between the burning flames, he does a cursory peek around the open desert, eyes searching for the opening that denki was furiously insisting “was right there, hitoshi shinsou for the love of god open those damn sultry bezoid eyes and LOOK” - he refuses to acknowledge the compliment, focused on the seven million fucking grains of sand & his boyfriends panicked voice in his ear when he finally spots it. a haze in the heavy heated air, almost like a mirage, a split in the vast landscape that led down somewhere dark, hidden. he lets out a sigh of relief loud enough for denki to hear, a sign that he’d found the entrance, before a photon blast skims just past his ear, leaving a three inch skidded burn across his cheek.

oh right. the grogorians.

stealing from the grogorians was the stupidest goddamn idea denki had ever come up with, which was saying a lot; once, he’d thought the seven suns on Naboor all rose & fell at the same time, shrieking in hitoshi’s ear about “planetary instability” & “socio-economic collapse” for a full ten minutes before he saw the suns rising & falling one after the other, in turns. that had been a field day, not one hitoshi was eager to repeat. the grogorians were fiercely territorial, completely tucked away from modern civilization & technology, & were at least seven feet tall. you could fit two shinsous in one of their chests; he wasn’t quite ready to see that up close.

ducking & weaving across the barren landscape, he slides through the slit in the ground with practiced ease; he’s run for his miserable life far too many times at this point. he can hear the grogorians shouting above the hole in the ground, too big for them to pass through, & he winces as his ULC - universal language chip, something kaminari had insisted he get implanted- deciphers the strangled words into curses he can understand. he’s really glad his parents are dead, because whatever blood curses the grogorians are spitting at his family tree sound awful.

the cavernous tunnels he’s slid down into are cool, spacious; coned lights illuminate the rocky path deeper & deeper into the planet. its all but deserted, the only inhabitants the two grogorian guards he’d narrowly escaped from. denki’s voice filters in through the comm again, calmer now that hitoshi was safely inside.

“we’ve got twenty minutes max before their distress signal goes through,” the andorian warns him, tracking the surrounding space around the planet from the isla bella. “follow the main tunnel straight through. the crown should be there. ten minutes to get there, i phase you straight out, we fucking book it into warp drive & we’ll be seven million credits richer by tomorrow morning. and you can finally treat me to dajang.”

hitoshi rolls his eyes despite the fact that denki can’t actually see him, trudging through the tunnels a little wearily. “remind me again why i always have to be the one getting shot to hell & back?” he grumbles as he walks, no real heat to his voice.

“you love my ass too much to risk it getting shot at, baby you know that,” denki laughs through the comm, ever poking fun at hitoshi’s expense & he’s sure to give the andorian a long, drawn out sigh before switching off the comm & pushing further into the darkness.

denki’s right though, hitoshi muses as he moves, his eyes glinting violet in the lamplight. the bezoid would rather die than see denki in any veritable danger, keeps him up on the ship to guide him & yank his ass out at the first inkling of a problem.

he’d been protecting the stupidly tall, wildly cheery andorian from the first day they’d met, cooped up in some stuffy bar off V-7. he’d had absolutely zero self-preservation skills even then, picking a fight with a damned Dervisian of all people, just because the man had insulted his shirt. hitoshi, not overly fond of watching handsome morons get punched in the face by meatsacks twice their size - & maybe he appreciates the long, toned legs & pretty face a little more than he lets on - steps in with ease, no matter how short he feels between the two of them. the dervisian cracks a height joke, because he’s an asshole, denki stabs him in the shoulder with a four inch dagger he pulls out of his too tight pants - & of course hitoshi spends far too long wondering just how he managed to fit it in the first place, mind all fuzzy - & they somehow manage to kick off an interspace bar fight. wonderful.

once the dust has settled & the chaos calmed, hitoshi finds himself with three new bruises, a cut cheek, & an armful of very grateful andorian.

“i hear the fleets coming. wanna get married?” denki wiggles his eyebrows suggestively, & hitoshi chokes on his own spit.

“what for? they’re keepers of the peace, not wedding officials,” he manages, glaring up at the - stupidly tall, stupidly pretty - andorian that’s managed to wrap himself into his arms.

“if you’re married they can’t deport you. i’d really like to avoid interspace jail,” denki winces, & hitoshi snorts.

“or we could run, like normal deviants of the law,” he points out, much to denki’s chagrin.

“and where is the fun in that?” the andorian pouts, & hitoshi knows he’s screwed.

four years, seven interspace incidents, four run ins with the fleet, & one rusting junktrap of nuts & bolts they called a ship later, they were inseparable. one complete idiot with a penchant for charming the pants off everyone around them & simultaneously launching them into trouble, & his over exasperated, eternally exhausted boyfriend, who was consistently saving his ass. they were an unlikely duo, but they worked like magic, & despite the fact that he had to risk his ass every damn day, hitoshi was pretty happy. him & denki made a little solar system all their own, a shining sun & its orbiting planet, & he likes that. he’s happy.

as happy as a thief for hire could be, really.

the problem with their particular profession, however, is that denki is basically one big ass radar for trouble. if something can go wrong, it will go wrong, disastrously so, & hitoshi is always caught in the middle of it, fleeing for his life with someone shooting at his ass (it’s always his ass, & he can never understand why. )

it’s for that reason, & that reason only, that hitoshi is the one creeping down the dark, deep tunnel, his nerves frayed as he keeps his eyes trained on every nook & cranny surrounding him. he can see the faint glow of an upcoming room ahead & hurries his pace, eager to grab the crown & escape, maybe finally treat denki to that dajang he’d been whining about - he’d never been fond of the strangely shimmery, horned fish, but if it made denki happy, he wasn’t going to complain.

the tunnel opens up into a small, brightly lit room, warm & pulsing with energy. the grogorians kept the crown here for good reason, the sheer amount of dead souls crafted into the metal & jewels enough to make anyone’s skin crawl. hitoshi gingerly steps closer, hands twitching at his sides as he moves into the light and - wait a minute.

wait a goddamn minute.

there’s a person on the raised pillar, small & decidedly not threatening. your little body is curled loosely around the crown, shivering gently, & hitoshi realizes several things all at once:

one, the tiny body is a tessian, and a young one at that, a couple years younger than himself.

two, the grogorians have definitely arrived earlier than scheduled. fuck. he clicks on his comm to hear denki screaming incoherently about danger, & winces heavily.

great.

third, the booming, heavy rumbles of the grogorian ship - & denki’s frantic yelling - has woken you up, the little tessian, arms still caging the crown close to your chest as though seeking out its warmth.

up close, hitoshi can see a smattering of pink freckles dusted across your honey gold cheeks, bright, messy hair falling into big, bright eyes. you yawn, then blink, eyes flashing & settling into a light, rosy pink at the same time your little fluffy ears twitch atop your head, a matching color to your eyes. your tail twitches slightly, four light gold rings wrapped around it, & it’s obvious you’re about young adult age. you yawn again, a tiny, unfiltered squeak escaping you at the sight of hitoshi in front of you.

you’re absolutely adorable. hitoshi is absolutely fucked.

dimly, he registers denki’s panicked shouts & the shaking of the tunnel walls, can feel the ground trembling beneath him, & he snaps out of his reverie to glance at the crown again. said crown is tucked up against your torn shirt, tessian hands - so delicate, so cute - keeping it close.

“hey, hey! don’t touch that! there’s like, eight thousand dead people in there,” hitoshi scolds before he can think, & you simply cock your head, confusion written all over your face.

“no, don’t squeeze it tighter - stop it! hey! are you even listening?” he seethes, reaching out a hand to snatch the crown away. you shift back quickly, frowning just as deep as hitoshi as you hug the crown even closer. it’s clear you can’t understand a word hitoshi is saying, & the grogorians have started some sort of blasting contest right outside the caverns.

great.

hitoshi swears under his breath, racking his brain for any sort of solution. “hitoshi shinsou, you are ASKING to die, they’re blowing the fucking cave open! can i phase you out yet? you too busy admiring that handsome face of yours in the stupid crown’s fucking reflection?” denki sounds hysterical, voice on the verge of near meltdown & hitoshi knows he’s out of time.

he’s got two options: stay & deal with the grogorians, or run.

he runs.

leaning forward, he tucks both hands under your armpits & yanks you forward, tosses you over his shoulder, & books it out of the tunnel.

he can barely hear anything over the blood rushing in his ears, your tessian wails, & one denki kaminari screeching like the world’s ending.

“phase me out phase me out PHASE ME OUT-“ he’s shouting above the din, phaser blasts surrounding him on all sides, & he doesn’t stop running until he feels the familiar pins & needles of the transporter, turning them into a mess of glittering gold dots that wink out just as a grogorian fires right where hitoshi’s head had been.

he slams into the floor of the isla bella with a groan, denki immediately in front of him. he sits up slow, careful not to shift too abruptly & disrupt the reanimation process, when denki snatches you right out of his arms.

“hitoshi what the fuck, you were only supposed to grab the crown, not adorable little tessians! and what were you doing down there, young alien?” denki has gone into full andorian mode, pinching your little tessian cheeks as he sits you in his lap - hitoshi’s just glad he’s got the sense not to do that to him.

you still can’t seem to understand, tilting your fluffy bright head of hair as you stare up at denki. you chirp, then hum, one hand reaching up to pet denki’s head, before smiling brightly.

denki coos. hitoshi snorts.

“i found them sleeping on the crown. they can’t understand us, they don’t have a ULC, so i just grabbed ‘em & ran,” hitoshi explains, getting up to ensure that they were in hyperspace, blasting millions of lightyears away from the grogorians. he chances another glance at the tessian sat comfortably in denki’s lap; you’re a little dirty, clearly having been stranded in the caverns a few days.

denki frowns at hitoshi’s back, brushing over the phaser burn on the ass of his pants with one hand as he speaks.

“the poor thing must be terrified, being surrounded by all that. switch your ULC to interpret mode, at least we’ll be able to understand them, & talk to them,” denki says quietly; looking down at the fluffy bundle of tessian in his arms. hitoshi can already see the gears turning in his head.

once they’ve switched settings, denki speaks.

“what’s your name, sweetheart?” he asks softly, clearly trying to make you comfortable.

the series of chirps & coos you let out shift almost in midair, turning themselves into words that hitoshi can actually understand.

“[y/n]? [y/n l/n]? oh that’s so cute! tell us, [y/n], why were you down there all by yourself?” denki prods, voice still soothing & calm. you, the tessian - [y/n], hitoshi thinks, too precious - sit up a bit, animatedly speaking now that they can understand you better. the squeaks & chirps are downright adorable, & hitoshi has to look away from flailing hands & a sunbeam smile to center himself again.

“and what were the lot of you thinking, sneaking down there? your whole little tribe, just gone, huh? i’m so sorry, sweetheart,” denki winces, & hitoshi can sympathize - tessian tribes were tight-knit little groups, & losing them meant a death sentence for whoever was left behind. they were pack creatures, always in need of others. hitoshi can see the gears turning, & he speaks before the andorian can.

“no, denki.”

“toshi! look at them, aren’t they the cutest thing you’ve ever seen! we have to keep them!” denki all but wails, pulling you so close to his chest that your cheeks squish together. you don’t seem concerned in the slightest, just giggle against denki’s face. hitoshi’s resolve weakens a little.

“we’ve got no space, denks, not to mention we’re not exactly the safest group for them to latch onto,” hitoshi protests weakly, even as the andorian pouts at him.

“we can’t just leave them alone, they’re so small, & no one will protect them!” denki is dangerously close to tears, & hitoshi never does well with a crying denki. he opens his mouth to protest again, try & make his point, but just then you yawn again, slow & long, the tiniest of squeaks escaping you & when you open your eyes again, they’re gold just like denki’s hair, your ears matching.

hitoshi’s determination evaporates.

“fine, fine, we can keep them. but if anything happens to them, it's your fault,” he grumbles, settling into the pilot's chair to monitor their progress.

denki cheers. you chirp happily.

hitoshi bangs his head on the control panel.

what have i gotten myself into this time, he thinks dully, but deep down, he knows he doesn’t mind. not too much.

───── ⋆✩⋆ ─────

after finally managing to pry the crown out of your hands & delivering it to the client - hitoshi doesn’t even wanna know what the creepy old Lavastian wanted with it, he’d had to take three showers under the hydrospray to get the itch off his skin - they’ve set a course for the driard system, to rest before their next assignment. being that their work schedule is so…flexible, it gives the trio a little time to get adjusted. and by adjusted, hitoshi means getting used to having you, a fluffy little alien, hanging off him at all hours of the day.

he’d thought that denki was clingy, the andorian typically seeking out hitoshi’s hands to hold or shoulders to rest his head. his people were affectionate that way, much different than hitoshi’s bezoid counterparts. he’d adjusted though, sacrificed personal space & eventually, had grown both used to & comfortable with having denki draped over him like a blanket at all times.

[y/n l/n] is an entirely different species - literally & figuratively.

firstly, you’re a clinger. where denki lounges, you squeeze with - surprisingly - strong arms & legs, wrapped around hitoshi’s frame like a verealis vine.

you’re so touchy you’ve got denki beat, & the pair of you seem stuck in some sort of exceedingly needy, relentless cuddle war. hitoshi’s got his money on you, even if he doesn’t admit it.

secondly, you’re scarily helpful. you seem to turn up right when hitoshi needs something adjusted deep in the ship, or when denki can’t seem to locate something correctly on their navigational screen. you’ll shapeshift into a teeny, tiny ragran rat to scurry through chambers & fix a wire, or tap on the control panel just so to show the correct star system, & its quite frankly impressive.

hitoshi’s starting to think you were made for them, just a little.

normally he leaves the sappy shit to denki, the andorian’s well flowered language easily explaining all his emotions & thoughts. but there’s something about the little tessian that shakes him up a little, changes the dynamic. denki doesn’t mind one bit.

he relishes in hitoshi’s newfound sweetness, even if it’s just a “that wasn’t completely awful, great job, babe,” or “you know, that shirt isn’t as hideous as i thought. brings out your eyes.” he knows hitoshi is simply trying his best, knows that words never got very far on his home planet.

you like that he’s quiet though, for some reason. you chirp & chatter enough for the both of you whenever you’re together, silly stories of whatever disasters you & denki had gotten into on the ship - hitoshi’s suspicious you’re both responsible for the six broken panels along the corridors, impromptu games of touch & go be damned - or telling him memories of your time on Tessero, your home planet. you’ve got an easy way of speaking, soft & languid & it calms him down like no other, settling into his bones & dimming the chaos in his mind for a little while.

your cuddliness extends even to when you’re asleep, tucked up neatly between denki & hitoshi in the big bed of their quarters. you’re a calm sleeper, curl up tight into a little ball with the pair of them draped over you, like a tiny tessian heater. it’s sweet & soft & so fucking domestic that hitoshi has a hard time believing it sometimes. he’d even started pressing kisses into the top of your head as he moved along the ship, much like the gentle ones he presses to denki’s lips. he’s not scared by it, per say, but he is a little surprised; he’d always been a little closed off, reserved. you had snuck up on him swiftly, without him even realizing. he finds he rather likes it.

the few days of travel before you reach the driard system are calm, simple evenings of dinner & talking together as you all soak up the simplicity of space. somehow, it’s comforting. you’re a twinkling, bright little star amidst their solar system, & hitoshi likes that. a shining sun, its orbiting planet, & the brightest little star.

───── ⋆✩⋆ ─────

everything goes to shit once they step foot on Ovalia 7.

the leisure planet is tucked at the edge of the star system, a quiet haven for those always on the move. it’s denki’s favorite place to go after a successful deal, & they serve the best dajang this side of the galaxy. hitoshi likes that no one ever speaks to them there, everyone wrapped up in their own little vacations.

denki books them a room at their usual spot, ignoring the innkeepers curious glance at the request - one big bed, a nice tub, window view, & hitoshi’s certain he thinks you’re all a couple. the thought doesn’t bother him, & he realizes with a jolt that they act like one, all three of them. they cuddle & hug & kiss, & hitoshi sits on that a moment before shrugging it away. if denki didn’t mind it, neither did he, & he focuses once more on relaxing.

they’ve just settled into a local restaurant, plates full of dajang & ocuro & everything else that tickle their fancy when hitoshi hears it. heavy steps, familiar ones, although he can’t quite place it in the haze of relaxation. he ignores it in favor of feeding you some of his mulrag, the spiced meat a clear favorite with your tessian palate & he can’t help his grin. he lets denki feed him a warm bite of dajang, rolling his eyes at the andorian’s little smile & affectionate pinch of hitoshi’s cheek. everything is nice, sweet & lazy in the warm air.

and then all hell breaks loose.

eight of the biggest fucking grogorians hitoshi’s ever seen in his life burst through the door, weapons armed & faces set in such hostile expressions that everyone is scattering. denki hauls you up & to his side, dragging hitoshi by the collar until you’re all crouched behind the bar, hidden from view. “i should’ve known they’d track us,” he all but whines, peeking over the wooden edge of the bar. a photon shot quickly makes him duck down again, cursing lightly. “plan?” he asks behind clenched teeth, tugging you closer.

hitoshi pauses, weighs his options.

“the two of you book it to the ship. i’m going to distract them,” he says quickly, thinking back to the conversations he’d been eavesdropping on earlier - thieves never took a real vacation, always on the lookout for something new to snatch.

two very drunk, loud Avarians had been seated just behind them, rambling on about the very expensive, very valuable statue hidden deep in the recesses of the abandoned temple just off the main road. many had tried to steal it, but had always gotten stuck deep in the underground channels trying to escape. the elders guarding it weren’t exactly friendly either.

a plan starts to form in his head, one that would both enrich them & save their asses from this absolute mess. he’s quite proud of himself, if he’s honest.

then a bottle explodes just above his head, & he jolts into action.

he fires a few warning shots at the wall behind the grogorians, turning & racing out the door in a clear attempt to lead them out. the grogorians take the bait easily, & he races down the road towards the temple as you and denki sneak out the back of the restaurant.

the temple is huge, dusty & a little worn around the edges. the priests guarding the door take one look at hitoshi shinsou, panting & shooting over his shoulder at several grogorians & lose it, screeching & running for cover just as he’d expected. he pushes through the open door with the hostile aliens right at his footsteps, racing through the dark corridors deeper & deeper into the bowels of the temple. halfway down denki clicks onto the comm, hastily spitting directions & instructions as the grogorians start shooting again. “this is all your fucking fault! i told you stealing from them was an awful idea!” hitoshi shrieks as a laser just misses his shoulder, ducking as he runs.

“oh sure, blame me for making sure we stay employed!” denki shrieks right back, your chirping frantically frantically filling the background.

hitoshi feels the heat of another photon bullet just barely graze against his ass as he books it down the narrow hallway, cursing every single god & denki kaminari for the absolute mess he’s been roped into. over the comm link he can hear the andorian yelling muted commands as he leads hitoshi through the vast hallways, the relic just within arms reach.

“i’ll phase you out once you have it!” denki starts, before hitoshi starts shouting again.

“i’m not gonna PHASE through solid rock, denki! just hold off, i’m coming!” he yells through the comm, feet skidding across the rough terrain as he snatches the little gold statue right off the podium. concerned little chirps & squeaks flood the comm, & hitoshi halts all his movements to swear loudly.

“[y/n l/n], you keep your adorable little ass on the ship, you hear me? don't even THINK about it-“ the ground shakes with another blast, the heavy yelling creeping from the farthest corridor.

hitoshi curses every single god & denki kaminari twice. and then he runs.

the maze of corridors gets more & more confusing as he bolts through them, solely relying on denki’s guidance in his ear & the gunfire right on his heels. finally, finally he can see sunlight again, pushing through the open door & stumbling into the street again - right into the waiting trap of about ten grogorian soldiers.

great.

they’d cornered him on both ends, trapping him in their space. denki’s shouting frantically, something about shield interference & blocking & hitoshi’s stomach sinks; they’ve got him.

“go to warp drive.” his voice is so sharp it shocks denki right out of his panicked rambling, the comm quiet.

then a furious “what the fuck did you just say hitoshi shinsou? we’re not leaving you-“

“take [y/n], & go to warp, denki! go, i can hold them off for a little while! the verlo sector, it’s rural enough that they can’t track you!” he bites out, eternally grateful that the grogorians don’t have ULC’s. he eyes them for a moment, takes a breath.

“i love you, denki kaminari, you crazy motherfucker. i love you. i love you too, [y/n]. take care of him for me,” he says softly, lets himself choke up a little, grants himself that one weakness. then he clicks his comm off, draws both his guns, & snarls. “let’s go, assholes! i don’t have damn day!” he shouts, keeps his voice level & confident.

and then he starts firing.

left, right, over his shoulder, he’s never shot so many times in his life, & its still not enough. there’s grogorians on every side, dodging every blast & hitoshi’s resigned himself to dying on this shithole lesiure planet, never seeing denki’s stupid bright smile again, or hearing your laugh.

and then he hears it, loud & wild & it makes both his heart soar & stomach sink.

“STOP SHOOTING MY BOYFRIEND YOU FUCKING JACKASSES!”

there stands denki kaminari in all his andorian glory, six foot six of anger & pent up chaotic energy standing just off the side of the gunfire. he gives hitoshi one big, blinding smile before he’s shooting right alongside him, the pair of them back to back as they fire.

“where’s [y/n]?” hitoshi calls over the sounds of the blasters, too emotional & charged up to address the fact that denki came to save him, denki who always, always stayed on the ship.

“i told them to monitor us from up there! once we take out these shields i can phase us up, i brought the control sleeve!” denki yells back, twisting & ducking as the grogorians rain fire on them.

the pair of them are deadly, lethal even, taking down one hostile alien after another until their guns run out. hitoshi curses at the dead weapon, tossing it to the side as he prepares to fight the remaining six grogorians hand to hand. beside him, denki gets into a similar stance, eyes narrowed sharply in defense.

“enough!” a voice bellows, harsh & loud, ringing out across the entirety of the street. hitoshi pauses, dread building up in the pit of his stomach. the grogorians part, & he hears denki gasp beside him.

the grogorian leader steps out slowly, every step sending a thundering rumble across the land. “you steal from us, fight us at every turn. your intolerance is shameful,” the alien snarls, fury written all over his face. hitoshi doesn’t point out that the grogorians stole that particular relic from the Astonians, & the fact that they’d been chased, not chasing. he has a feeling the man wouldn’t appreciate his sentiments.

“i will kill you myself ! your arrogance knows no bounds!” the alien thunders, hands reaching for the sword tucked into his belt. its easily the size of hitoshi’s entire body, & his blood runs cold.

“since we’re about to die, it’s time i fess up. i’m the one who broke your music box,” denki whispers behind him, hands clinging tight to the back of hitoshi’s shirt.

“oh for god's sake you idiot, we’re about to die & that’s what you tell me?”

“i’ve always loved your ass in these pants. skinny or not, they give you shape,” denki says tearily, & hitoshi nearly screams.

“denki shut up, for the love of space - stop fondling my ass, we’re about to die-“

a set of angry, loud chirps interrupt them all, the grogorian leader turning & snarling. hitoshi stops breathing.

there, in all your tiny tessian glory, stands you, [y/n l/n], clad in hitoshi’s favorite leather pants & denki’s too big sweater. your eyes are narrowed, an expression of pure fury on your face that hitoshi’s never seen before.

it’s a little hot. denki seems to agree, if the gasp he lets out is any indication.

the alien laughs, staring down at you almost in amusement. “come to watch them die, little one? i could probably get a hefty price for you, couldnt i? maybe pleasure slave, the markets always up for those.” you chirp angrily. hitoshi sees red.

“don’t you fucking touch them-“ he snarls, all traces of fear gone as he shoves the grogorian back, fists clenched. behind him, denki spits, eyes lit up with that special kind of rage hitoshi only sees when he's really caught up, the anger boiling in his blood. the grogorian shoves the pair of them back so hard they go sprawling in the dirt, his voice a growl as he steps towards them. “you dare touch me?” he bellows.

behind him, you let out a sound somewhere between a screech & a growl. and then you start shifting.

hitoshi knows that you can shift into any number of things, he’s not stupid. but they’d all been limited to small, cute things, adorable & easy to hold.

the form you take on is neither adorable or small.

a sixteen foot, scaly dragon stands before them, with the face & claws of a lion & the fiery rage of a bat out of hell.

hitoshi screams. denki nearly pisses himself.

the grogorians scatter, shouting & running & you pick them off easily, picking one up between your claws & tearing him clean in half. the rest die in a similar fashion, tossed against buildings & burned alive when they get too close to your flaming breath. the leader dies last, your sharp fangs tearing him limb from limb until he’s a tattered pile of mush at their feet. its singlehandedly the most horrifying, yet gratifying thing hitoshi’s seen in his life.

you shift back to your original form easily, small hands & cheeks covered in blood. there’s a bit of grogorian in your hair. you smile up at them like nothing happened, let out little chirps & squeaks & hitoshi is stunned, really.

denki pulls the bit of grogorian away from your fluffy ears, before wiping the blood off your cheeks & tugging you into a kiss. it’d be cute, if there wasn’t so much carnage around them. you smile up at hitoshi, chirps out something about love and tribe and home.

hitoshi pulls you into a hug, kisses the faintly bloody fluffy hair, & laughs.

“let’s go home,” he agrees easily, takes denki’s hand & thinks, for a moment, that he’s complete.

denki smiles so bright it puts the sun to shame, & you giggle into his chest, cheery as a star.

all the bits align just right, he thinks, & leads his little solar system home.

#bnha shinsou #bnha kaminari #shinkami #shinkami x reader #poly fic #shinsou x y/n #shinsou x you #shinsou x reader #kaminari x reader #kaminari x you #alien fic #space opera #evywrites #bnha fic #boku no hero fanfic

[mego42]

author meme redux

HELLO I’M BACK tagged by @septiembur  to talk about how swaying evergreens came about! 

okay so the backstory goes like this:

A friend of mine and I love playing this game we call to the pain where we send each other songs with instructions to listen to them and think about this ship/scene/story/etc and sit back and watch the other one go completely unhinged and incoherent bc the right song and the right dynamic will Do That To You. she also introduced me to tow’rs and we share a fairly rabid obsession with that band.

fast forward to this past december, she kicks down the door of my messages (or texts me, i suppose, if you want to be boring about it) like hey so tow’rs dropped a christmas album and even though i don’t really go here, special edition of to the pain, listen to swaying evergreens and think of brio. so i did and, even though the song was not a vibe i would generally gravitate towards for them, it hooked me and all i could think about was soft, quiet, snowed in morning sex bc like, idk, have y’all listened to it???? literally what else am i supposed to think about.

ANYWAY so that song lowkey ruined my life and i started crying to @foxmagpie about it as i do. she went a touch feral over the concept and even though i kept saying stuff like but megan! how did they get snowed in? why are they soft with each other? how did they get there from s3? she kept saying stuff like WHO CARES MEG OH MY GOD JUST WRITE IT. it slowly took root in my head and one night i literally sat straight up in the middle of the night (being married to me is SO FUN) like OH WAIT WHAT ABOUT LISTENING VERSE and I decided to write it for megan as a present.

As far as the backstory stuff goes, I’ve alluded to it a bit on here but I’ve lost a bunch of people this year and without getting too into it, one of those losses was very fresh when I got serious about writing swaying evergreens. I’ve been thinking a lot about grief and memory and how it shapes you in ways that never unshape and how we carry pieces of the people we love with us inside ourselves. All of that was compounded by a lot of angst over not being able to be with my family this holiday season and thinking about our traditions throughout the year (shamelessly stole the its a wonderful life stuff from my dad). Additionally I’ve always been mmmm I guess extremely conscious of how little the show gives us with so many of the characters’ backstories (I know we like to point to Rio a lot and true!! extremely valid! but also like, what holidays do Beth and Annie celebrate, you know? they’re all pretty blank slate) and that’s something I haven’t really engaged with much in my fic but something I want to try and get into more.

idek where I’m going with any of this but all of that was on my mind and ended up mixing together with the quiet little romantic pwp I initially wanted to write and the result was swaying evergreens which, fun fact! i have not been able to go back and reread since I posted it because I’m still a touch raw over the whole thing tbh, hahaha.

tl;dr go listen to tow’rs christmas album the holly & the ivy bc even if you’re not into christmas music (which i am VEHEMENTLY AGAINST TBH) it’s beautiful and i love it a lot.

tagging @pynkhues to tell me in detail how fake dating is going to feature in the pirate au which is not at all the point of this meme but she dropped that grenade as i was getting ready to post this and now i can’t think about anything else

okay but also @riosnecktattoo to tell me about how she came to foist clown porn upon us all or heart and soul bc i’m obsessed (or both both is good)

and @bathroombreaks to tell me about the origin of the howl’s au that lives rent free in my head

meme questions

recently I have become really fascinated with fanfic authors and what exactly was rumbling around in their brain that inspired a fic?

Was it a line of dialogue you couldn’t get out of your head?

A scene you wrote WAY in advance and then crafted the whole story around?

An image in your mind?

Inspiration from another form of media?

Maybe someone suggested something to you and it just TOOK off from there?

What is the root of your fic? The cornerstone -what is it all built around? The idea that started it all?

Tag an author & their fic. Let’s hear about what sparked your story. What exactly got your booty movin’ shakin’ motivated and writin’

#i will probably not delete this later hahahahahaha #tag games #shut up meg #swaying evergreens #listening through the air shaft #my fic

[roseskiesandbutterflies]

Le Démon Déchu - Chapter 2: Réponses Et Plus De Questions

Summary: The summary is kind of long so please check a previous part or my masterlist if you want to read it.

Warning(s): threat, swearing

Word Count: 6.8k+

Inspiration: Do You Know What Eternity Is? by Elderly_Worm on AO3, Great Omens (The Big One) by falsepremise on AO3, Pray For Us, Icarus series by Atalan on AO3, Demonology and the Tri-Phasic Model of Trauma: An Integrative Approach by Nnm on AO3, wasteland, baby by john1513 on AO3, Not of Us by ShesAKillerQueen98 on AO3, How to Win a Lifetime Achievement Award for Services to Television (and how not to) by GaryOldman on AO3, Doctor Who (don’t ask) and, of course, Good Omens itself

A/N: Okay I took a bit of a hiatus from writing literally anything for about five months so sorry about that but I’m back now!! That’s the main thing. Also, I’ve left high school now which is very exciting! That does mean I’ll have so much more time to write and I’m definitely going to try and use this summer to establish some kind of routine for writing so that when I start college, I won’t get too overwhelmed with both my studies and with updating my fics. That’s the plan anyway so don’t hold me to that lmao. With any luck, now I’ve actually said that it’ll have to happen. (I wrote that part of this note back in May when it was the start of the summer. It is currently September and I’m just about to finally publish this chapter and I assure you, I am cringing at my own optimism.) Sorry this took so long to post. This chapter has been in the works since May (yes, I know I’m terrible) but I actually got a lot more writing done in that time that what you just see in this chapter. All will be revealed soon. I just promise that I have been productive. Once you’ve read this chapter, you have my blessing to translate the title of this fic. Hopefully it will make sense.

I just wanted to point out something about the playlist I linked in the previous chapter. I am well aware that there are some rather problematic people in it, namely Sia. I want you all to know that I don’t support her in any way (I don’t like her at all I think she’s a complete ableist twat). Her songs are only on there because of how well they fit with the story (a lot of this will become clearer as the story goes on).

I also wanted to point out that I know that if angels do exist, then their true forms probably wouldn’t look anything like humans. I’m well aware of that, I’m not an idiot, I don’t know if any of you remember when people started googling ‘angel true form’ and some people got scared lmao. The point is, we’ve all seen the pictures. But for the purpose of this story, and honestly just to make it easier for me to describe what the characters are doing, we’re going to have to pretend that they did look like humans. Can I claim creative license with this one? Maybe it got lost in translation because there is probably no way someone could describe how an angel truly looks in any human language? I don’t know, just roll with it.I know that this chapter had so much exposition and explanation in it but I can promise you two things. One, there is still much to be revealed. Two, I promise this isn’t just bad writing on my part. Just trust that I needed to put this all in this early on.

And how is everyone doing after the season 2 announcement? I mean, at the time of writing this specific part of my notes, it only got announced about an hour ago lmao. I’m very fucking excited, oh my god. It’s all I’ve been able to think about since I found out I can’t lie. Catch me trying to finish this before it comes out in case things occur which means I have to change things in this story. I can’t be arsed for that. Oh well. Hopefully it’ll read like those Sherlock fics that people wrote in between series 2 and series 3 if that doesn’t happen.

Taglist: @briarrose26​

Ask or comment to be on my taglist! Let me know if it’s for a specific fandom(s) or series. Full list is in my bio.

Hermit (upright) + Five of Wands (upright)

Conflict. Reflection. Resurfacing memories.

************

Let’s admit, without apology, what we do to each other.

We know who our enemies are. We know.

– Richard Siken (Detail of the Fire)

************

“Fuck.”

The angel and demon exchanged glances of what could only be described as thinly veiled panic, while the woman in front of them just looked annoyed at the most.

“They couldn’t wait five minutes, could they?” she muttered, pinching at the bridge of her nose in frustration before standing up again, “Look, just stay down here, I’m gonna go sort this out. With any luck they won’t have actually realised you’re here too.”

“Wait, how do you know they’re here for you?” Crowley asked, suddenly curious as to what business Eloise might have with Heaven.

“Just a gut feeling,” she said before making her way to the spiral staircase behind them, muttering to herself, “If they were here for you, I feel like they would have at least used the front door.”

The other two waited until she’d run upstairs before exchanging a quick glance, an unspoken word, and following her up.

Meanwhile, Eloise was hovering outside a room at the end of the corridor which she could only assume was the bedroom. She was strangely hesitant, not out of fear of them, simply out of fear of the unknown. She hadn’t spoken to anyone in that room for millennia, and something told her that this wasn’t going to be a friendly chat. She took a deep breath, even though she technically didn’t need it, letting a wave of faux confidence wash over her, and stepped inside. Don’t crumble now. You’ve come too far to crumble now.

“Ah, Mariel, long time no see,” Gabriel smiled coldly, brushing the dust off his white suit. Flanked by two other angels, he stood in the wreckage of the bedroom without even acknowledging the damage they must have caused when they crashed in. Beside him were Beelzebub and Hastur, who both looked as though they had been dragged kicking and screaming to come here. Beelzebub in particular kept shooting metaphorical daggers at Gabriel, who remained perfectly oblivious. The entire ceiling had caved in from the impact of their crash, the setting sun painting the doorway where Eloise stood in a pale gold and casting a dark shadow over the others.

She’d grimaced at the use of her old name; it was too unfamiliar, too ancient. Mariel was the name of a long-dead version of herself. Once upon a time, she’d embraced it, but that was once upon a time. Once upon a time long gone.

“Almost like I’ve been avoiding you on purpose,” she muttered, leaning against the doorway as she stared intrusively at each person in the room, observing, assessing. She silently revelled in the blatant discomfort in each of their faces.

“No need to be so rude,” Gabriel said, doing anything to avoid her eyes, his previous confident façade now shattered.

Eloise stared at him in disbelief, “What exactly were you expecting? A fucking welcome party? I haven’t seen any of you in over six thousand years and you just crash through the roof of my house, unannounced and uninvited, so yeah, forgive me for being a little irritated.” She couldn’t help but feel a little bit guilty. She’d barely been in Aziraphale’s bookshop for fifteen minutes and she was already pretending she owned it.

She watched smugly as he squirmed under her gaze, desperately looking to the others to say something in response. A moment or two passed before Beelzebub’s head suddenly snapped up in confusion, “Are you alone?”

Shit. She’d hoped that they wouldn’t have noticed the presence of the two who were definitely not downstairs like she’d asked. She swallowed, trying not to let any kind of emotion show on her face, trying not to give the game up that quickly, “Yeah, I live on my own.” She watched the whole group of them squint in concentration, trying to sense any other beings in the house. She sighed, changing the subject before they could comment on it any further, “Look, what do you want? I don’t have all day so if you could make it quick then that would be much appreciated.”

Gabriel looked back at her, his suave exterior unfortunately making a return, “Hey, we just wanted to check up on you, see how you’re doing-”

“That’s bullshit and you know it,” she snapped. She pushed herself off from the doorway, stalking towards the others, “You have had six thousand years to ‘check up on me’, don’t pretend you’ve only started to care now.”

She was met with only silence as Gabriel and Beelzebub glanced at each other awkwardly, looking very much like chastised children. Suddenly the latter groaned and cried, “You can’t just leave Hell!”

“Oh, here we go,” Eloise muttered, rolling her eyes, bored already.

“You can’t! You Fell from Heaven, so you go to Hell, there isn’t a third option!”

“Well, apparently there is,” she shrugged.

“No there isn’t!” they argued, face screwed up like a petulant child.

“Then what do you call this then?” she asked, unfolding her wings for the second time that day. She studied their reactions closely, scrutinising coal-black eyes piercing through their very souls. She was searching for any hint of shock, of recognition, of anything that could clue her in as to what was going on in their heads at that moment. All she could find, however, was pure, unadulterated confusion. Which was annoying when her wings were supposed to be an answer to their unasked questions.

Gabriel stumbled over his words, “Good Lord, how did you even-”

Eloise cut him off curtly, no longer having the patience to listen to his incoherent mumbles. She instead turned to Beelzebub who at least had the decency to look a little more composed, “That would be what you could sense then. I’ve got both Heaven and Hell in me, that’s a lot of energy to pick up on.” She stared right through them, daring them to say anything else.

“Must be,” they replied slowly, though they didn’t look at all convinced.

Gabriel held up a hand, his eyes darting about as he tried to comprehend what he was seeing, “No hold on, how did you even manage that?”

“I left Hell,” Eloise said simply, “Why should I have black wings? I’m not some demon who ran away from everything. I left. Permanently. I looked Hell in the eye and walked away. You know what? Fuck it, I looked Satan in the eyes and walked away.”

“You what?” he stuttered.

“Yeah, you heard me. You have a problem with me leaving Hell then go on! Take that up with the bloody devil,” she said, staring them down, daring them to retaliate. She smirked when she was met with pure, uncomfortable silence, “Except you won’t, will you? Because you don’t actually give two fucks about me. Just like I said, if you did then you would have chased me up a long time ago. Quite frankly, I think you must have been glad to have me out of your hair,” she sighed, half sad, half amused when they couldn’t even meet her eye. She paused for a moment, wondering how far she could push this, before asking, “You know what I think is really going on here? I think the pair of you are feeling a bit bruised after the absolute shitshow that was Armageddon last year, which, by the way, fucking hilarious. I think your egos are feeling a little sore after a literal child stopped you from ending the world, so you’re thinking ‘hmm, what would be an easy win so that we don’t feel like total shit? Oh yeah, what about that demon who ran away all that time ago? That should be easy to sort out.’. Well, love to disappoint, but you’re not getting me that easily, especially when not a single one of us actually wants me back, and Sandalphon, take one more step further I swear I will dropkick you back to Heaven,” she snapped, glaring at the angel who had been menacingly inching closer while she had been talking. He reluctantly stepped back alongside Gabriel, looking a little more than miffed that his plan hadn’t worked out. “You really want me back? Get your bosses to talk to me because I don’t actually see why it’s any of your business. No middle men. Just God, Satan and me. I’ll see what they have to say about all this. Questions?” she asked, tone snapping from one extreme to another, almost as if she had just been possessed.

Gabriel stared at her, mouth gaping like a fish, “You can’t just boss us around like that.”

“What? Like how you bossed us around all those years?” she replied without missing a beat, real rage, real danger seeping into her voice now, “I think we’re done here.”

“But-”

“I said, I think we’re done here,” she said, leaving no room for arguments. She gestured to the sorry excuse for a room around them, “Now, if you wouldn’t mind cleaning this up.”

“Why can’t you do it? You can miracle things too,” Gabriel said, desperate for any kind of leverage over Eloise.

“You’re right, I could, but I didn’t make this mess, and I personally believe that you should face the consequences of your actions, Gabriel,” she said pointedly, watching as he visibly gulped. In a matter of seconds, the room was restored to its original state and Eloise was left alone in the room, no indicators that she was ever with any other people remaining.

She sighed and all but collapsed into a chair that may or may not have existed a few moments ago, confident façade shattered completely. She breathed heavily in exhaustion, as if she’d just run a marathon; she supposed she had just run a mental one. Her emotions were bugging her to no end. It was strange. She wasn’t scared, per se. There was very little that Gabriel or Beelzebub could do to her that would frighten her anymore. She tried her best to compose herself, writing off the tsunami inside her mind as just plain old adrenaline, before calling out, “You can come in now. I know you guys are outside, it’s okay, you can come in.”

Crowley and Aziraphale walked into the room, one looking considerably more sheepish than the other. Aziraphale perched awkwardly on the freshly reconstructed bed, “We’re sorry–”

“No, you’re not.”

“No, we’re not.”

Eloise and Crowley exchanged a glance, amused looks on both of their faces while Aziraphale simply looked distressed. Eloise turned back to him and smiled sympathetically, “I told you, it’s fine. I would have done the same,” she admitted, looking away before collecting herself once again, “So, I’m guessing you have a lot of questions–”

“That’s the understatement of the century,” Crowley muttered as he took a seat beside Aziraphale, although it was a very loose definition of ‘taking a seat’.

Aziraphale glared at him while Eloise just sighed and reluctantly said, “I think it might be better if I just show you.”

Crowley cocked his head in confusion, “Show us what?”

She brought her chair closer to the edge of the bed and put out her hands, “Take my hands. Brace yourselves.”

Mariel was standing before a crowd of angels, dozens upon dozens of disgusted faces staring right at her. She couldn’t quite remember getting there. She had been in the pitch-dark holding cell and the next thing she knew, she was here. Blinding white light surrounded them, harshly illuminating her vulnerabilities before all of Heaven. She tried her best to keep her chin up even though she absolutely hated the fact that they could see the bruises from when she had been arrested that were now blooming on her face. She frowned as she noticed the lack of measures preventing her from escaping. All that was keeping her there was Gabriel’s presence at her side, cold violet eyes pointedly ignoring her. He really was an arrogant bastard for assuming that she wouldn’t even try to make a run for it. Just because he was right this one time, it didn’t mean that he shouldn’t have come prepared. Mariel sighed and looked up at the angels staring down at her. Michael was sat higher than everyone in the centre of the crowd, face void of all emotion as she said, “The Principality Mariel. You’re on trial today for betraying the will of the Almighty, rebelling against all that is good and light in the universe...”

Mariel blocked the rest of her pretentious speech out as she droned on about all the awful things she’d supposedly done to deserve this. It was all lies anyway. She knew the real reason she was here. There were a few things that stood out to her despite it all, things that nearly made her laugh. She’d known that they’d needed to conjure up some reasons for condemning her, but this was just ridiculous. Gabriel really had gone to extraordinary yet desperate lengths to slander her in her final moments in this Someone-forsaken place. She was surprised that the angels gathered to watch her downfall believed a word of this. She tried her best not to resent them, though. It wasn’t like they had anything better to believe in. Especially considering the amused smirk that had crept its way onto her face.

She returns to reality just in time to hear Michael ask, “What do you have to say to defend yourself?”

“I’ve done nothing I need to defend,” she said firmly, leaving no room for argument.

“Don’t make this worse for yourself than it already is,” Gabriel muttered dangerously from where he stood beside her.

Mariel turned to look at him in disbelief. “How the fuck could this get any worse, Gabriel?” she hissed, fury flaring up in her eyes.

He just looked back at her condescendingly, “Do you really need me to answer that?”

She pointedly refused to reply, turning back to face Michael, determined to ignore him.

The next part goes past in a blur for Mariel. Michael speaks again, though she doesn’t listen. Then suddenly there are shouts of anger, screams of rage, coming from the gathered crowd. They spit with venom as they hurl insults at her. She doesn’t hear a word. It’s as though her head is under water, completely submerged in the stone cold anger that seeps through her body, and suddenly Mariel is drowning in the realisation that this is really happening, oh God this is really happening.

Why? Why is this happening to me? You listening, God? Look me in the eye and tell me why this is happening.

She doesn’t get an answer, and though she wasn’t expecting one, it still hurts. Because she knows that she’ll never get an answer from Her again now.

Eventually she feels a tug on her arm from where Gabriel has been standing, dragging her away from the crowd and out her of current state of mind. She could feel her senses coming back to her as she stumbled backwards, but everything was crashing down on her too quickly, too harshly. She did her best to shove the rising panic as deep down insider her as she could. There was no way she would let anyone here see her in that state. She couldn’t let them think they’d won.

She didn’t even realise she had reached the edge of the ground she was standing on, the edge of Heaven itself, Gabriel no longer grabbing her arm. She nearly found herself peering over the edge, but stopped herself before she could lean too far. It may have helped her in the past but now was not the time to give in to her curiosity. And she didn’t trust Gabriel to not push her the moment he had the chance. She turned her head to glare fiercely at him, piercing holes in his very soul. She could slowly feel her anxiety being replaced by cool rage as she found herself saying, “Any institution that tries to silence anyone who opposes them is inherently corrupt.” She stared knowingly at his discomfort as he forced himself to face her. He knew what she meant by that. He knew.

He took a second to compose himself before practically scoffing in her face, “Don’t preach at me.”

Mariel cocked her head as she studied him. She watched as his eyes subconsciously flicked back to the crowd, to the other Archangels. He blatantly wanted nothing more than to re-join his fellow angels, the only beings who understood why he was doing what he was doing, or were at least supposed to understand anyway. Somehow she doubted they were all as cold-hearted and self-absorbed as the angel in front of her. She considered him for a moment before saying simply, “Your quest for power will kill you in the end.”

He furrowed his brows in somewhat amused confusion, “Is that a threat?”

“No. It’s the truth,” she blinked at him before leaning in and murmuring in his ear, “It will be your downfall.”

“The only one who’s going to Fall around here is you,” he said dangerously. Mariel leaned back and watched the lethal glimmer in his eye wither and die under the intensity of her gaze.

She just smiled. “We’ll see.” She let herself look at him for a moment longer before blinking away the tears and cautiously taking a small step backwards. She could feel where the ground ended beneath her feet and was sure not to step any further. She took one last look of the place she once called home, embracing how it felt for the last time though she knew she wouldn’t miss it.

She closed her eyes for a moment and fell back.

Mariel was Falling. That bit she knew, but much more than that? Everything was happening too fast for her to notice. And yet, it was as if she was existing in slow-motion. She worried for a moment that this was, in fact, her fate; doomed to remain in a perpetual state of limbo, of Falling, for all eternity. The only thing telling her otherwise was the view of Heaven above her, which she realised only too late was slowly shrinking into nothing. Mariel found herself reaching her own arms out, grasping for Heaven. They were opposite ends of a magnet being roughly pulled away from each other by an invisible force.

You hear that God? Why me? What did I ever do to deserve this? And don’t you dare tell me it’s all part of your plan because right now, the only thing I want is to be back where I should be and I can’t even have that.

She pulled herself out of her mind and back into reality; she’d have plenty of time in Hell to yell at a God who’d never listen, let alone answer. She only just started to register her surroundings, the fact that she was actually Falling, who knows how far and for how long, tumbling through the air at an unimaginable speed, plummeting towards a place that could be anything from seconds to hours away. The deafening wind that screamed in her ears, drowning out the screams which may have been coming from her mouth or her mind, who was she to say? Air whipped around her body, icier and more painful than any words that could ever be uttered by the angels above her. It wasn’t until she could no longer see any hint of Heaven on the horizon that she started to feel the tears finally fall, trickling down her face and floating slightly due to the force of the Fall.

Then suddenly it came. She felt it in the very tips of her wings first, a strange tingling sensation, as though hundreds and then thousands of pins were skirting the edges of her corporeal being. It spread over the rest of her wings, and then her body, at a faster pace than she could keep track of until her whole being felt as though it was burning. The pain grew, and it grew, and it grew, and she didn’t think she could physically take any more pain when she looked up in horror at her own freshly blackened wings. Her beautiful, holy wings which had once been the softest, purest white, were now stained with evil and ash. For the first time since she started Falling, however long ago that might have been, she let out a choked sob that racked through her whole body and through the ever-changing air around her. Nobody heard her cries. Nobody heard her screams as the searing pain in her chest grew stronger. She couldn’t even begin to work out whether it was physical or emotional but it was there and it burned a hole, a gaping wound, through her soul, leaving a scar fated to never heal and to forever haunt her-

Eloise was crying. She’d tried so hard to prevent the steady streams that were now running down her cheeks, but that was a memory that she’d never wanted to relive. She looked upwards for a moment, trying to regain control of her emotions and her breathing, before peeling her hands away from the two sat in front of her. She roughly wiped the tears from her face, and suddenly the only thing telling you she had been crying were the bloodshot eyes that Crowley tried to ignore as he said bluntly, “I’m still confused.”

“Crowley, give her a minute,” Aziraphale chastised him, furrowing his brows at the demon before he turned back to Eloise with kind eyes and a kinder heart, “Are you alright, my dear?”

She nodded without much hesitation, “I’m fine, it’s okay.” She certainly wasn’t fine, nor was it okay, but the last thing she wanted was to have to deal with her feelings in front of two people she was trying her best not to scare off. She looked back at Crowley, eyebrows raised in curiosity.

He looked at her in understanding, for if anyone knew her thought process in that moment, it was him. “Right, so you Fell and became a demon. Then what?”

“Well, you know what Hell’s like,” she started, looking pointedly at Crowley. She waited for him to nod before continuing, “Not my scene at all. I just point-blank refused to do anything they asked of me. Naturally they didn’t like that much. Eventually I was called in to see Satan about it. I remember thinking, ‘well, that’s that then. Terrible knowing you all.’, because I didn’t think I was going to survive that. Turns out he was just annoyed that I was being a bloody nuisance to everyone else, but he was too amused to really do anything about it, so he basically just told me to piss off. Leave Hell, don’t come back, and I won’t tell anyone where you’ve gone or that you’re even alive. Not exactly a deal I could refuse, so I left, came to Earth, been here ever since. I think everyone just assumed he’d killed me,” she shrugged as if she hadn’t just destroyed the whole idea of eternal damnation with just a few sentences. She smiled to herself as they gaped at her for a moment, though she doubted they realised they were doing it.

Crowley somehow managed to gather his senses quick enough to hold up a hand and say, “Wait, but when you were talking to Gabriel and Beelzebub and that lot, you said they had six thousand years to check up on you. Why would you say that if they thought you were dead?” He narrowed his eyes at her. He wasn’t altogether quite sure why he seemed to be so keen on finding any gaps in her story, but he needed to be able to trust that she was telling the truth. Or at least that’s what he told himself.

Aziraphale’s eyes lit up with understanding. “Yes, and they didn’t exactly seem surprised to see you alive.”

Eloise grinned. You two are gonna be fun, I can tell. “You’re both very observant, I have to give you credit for that.” She paused in thought for a second before starting carefully, “You see, the trouble with me is that I’m not really one for keeping a low profile. I’m too noisy, so to speak, and I don’t even realise it most of the time. This demon I hadn’t exactly been the nicest to back in Hell saw me in Babylon, gosh, it must have been eighteen thirty something BC? Anyways, he ratted me out to Beelzebub who must have told Gabriel all about it. I had about a decade of this bloody demon trying to discorporate me just to see if it would force me to go back to Hell, then one day he just stopped, and I never saw him again. Beelzebub probably told him to piss off.”

They were both quiet again for a little while. Eloise didn’t even think to say anything. It might be a rare occasion, but she did know when to keep her mouth shut when it mattered. She could see the cogs turning in their heads as if it was projected in the air above them. Eventually Crowley murmured, “I didn’t even know you could do that, you know, leave.”

She shook her head with a strange kind of sympathy that came from recognising an experience you had far too long ago, “Neither did I. It stills shocks me sometimes if I think about it too much.”

A few seconds passed before Crowley cleared his throat abruptly and said, “They called you Mariel. I thought you said your name was Eloise.”

She hesitated before answering. She knew exactly what he was doing, she’d been doing it for the whole of their conversation thus far, but just because she tended to bury her emotions, it didn’t mean that she liked it when others did it. She decided to ignore the hypocrisy of that thought, how ironic, she thought to herself, and instead explained, “It is. Mariel was my angel name. You know how it is,” she looked pointedly at Crowley again, hoping that Aziraphale would be able to put the pieces together. She didn’t actually know how much he knew about what it was like to Fall and become a demon.

“Oh, so is Eloise your demon name?” Aziraphale asked politely.

“No,” she said curtly, instantly feeling guilty when she saw the hurt that flashed over Aziraphale’s face. She grimaced and explained in a gentler tone, “I chose it for myself when I came to Earth. Hell tried to change my name after I Fell but I just refused.” She studied him for a second, watching his eyes dart about, before saying, “You want to ask something, I can tell. What is it?”

He looked a little startled at being caught out, momentarily glancing at Crowley for support, probably subconsciously, Eloise noted with a smile. “I, well, I couldn’t help but notice that you mentioned Armageddon. Back when you were speaking with, um, well, you know. H-how did you know about that?”

“I might have been there.” The words rushed out of her mouth in a much less casual manner than what she’d been aiming for, coming out in a sort of jumbled heap that took Crowley and Aziraphale a moment to decipher.

Crowley, the poor sod, could only think to lean forward and ask a simple, “You what?”

She jumped to defend herself, wanting to avoid the onslaught of questions if she could, “Not actually at the airbase, but I was in the area. I was living in Tadfield at the time.”

Aziraphale narrowed his eyes, although the hint of a smirk on his face told her it was more in amusement than suspicion, “How did you know it was at the airbase?”

Eloise couldn’t help but chuckle to herself because of course, they’d notice her choice of words, “I knew Adam and his mates. I ran an ice cream shop, would you believe it. He came and told me all about it the day after,” she smiled fondly before suddenly coming alive with excitement, “That’s actually how I found out about you two. That’s why I’m here. Because I thought I was the only one trying to stop the world ending, but apparently I wasn’t. I had to see for myself.”

A moment passed before Aziraphale asked quietly, “You were trying to stop it?”

Eloise, not noticing the newly subdued atmosphere, launched herself into a painfully over-enthusiastic explanation, “Yeah, it was quite clever really, if I do say so myself. I made sure Adam was swapped with the American baby in the hopes that he would have a human enough upbringing to perhaps change things. Seems to have worked,” she shrugged, before finally taking in the two shocked faces that were staring back at her. Her brows furrowed and her face fell as she asked, “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You switched the babies?” Crowley asked blankly, although it came out as more of a statement than a question.

Her face screwed up as she tried to work out how best to explain herself. “Well, I say switched, it was more of a ‘made sure the demon dropping the antichrist off went to the wrong delivery room’ kind of thing. Feel sorry for the poor sod who had to deal with that but needs must.”

Crowley blinked at her and said bluntly, “I was the poor sod who had to deal with that.”

Eloise looked at him for a moment as about five different jigsaw pieces finally clicked in her head, before she threw her head back in realisation, “Oh shit, so you were. I knew your name sounded familiar.”

“You bastard, we spent six years raising the wrong child because of you!” he exclaimed, wagging his finger at her and jumping off of the bed at one point before Aziraphale tugged him back down. Eloise didn’t know whether to laugh or run for her life, for the menace in his words was betrayed by the disbelieving laugh in his voice.

“I’m sorry, you did what now?” she asked, only just processing what he’d just said, and she couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her lips at his dramatic antics. She knew not to push it when Aziraphale just lifted a finger and pursed his lips with the look of someone who’d rather never bring up said event again.

“Oh bloody heaven, I can’t believe this,” Crowley shook his head, chuckling to himself. Although part of him resented it, he couldn’t help but look at Eloise differently now as they laughed like little kids together. Maybe it was the fact that she seemed so much more like them now, so much more human. Or maybe it was the fact that she had been trying to stop the apocalypse and all the implications that came with the fact. Suddenly he just wanted to know more about her, but he quickly silenced that thought. One thing at a time.

She raised her shoulders with a confused look on her face, giggling as she said, “Sorry? Well, I didn’t know, did I?”

They locked eyes for a moment before bursting into laughter again at the sheer absurdity of it all, leaving Aziraphale slightly bewildered and more than slightly exasperated at the pair. It took them a few moments to finally calm down but once they did, Crowley sobered his tone of voice as he asked, “Right, back to what happened before we came in. Anything we need to keep an eye out for?”

Though he didn’t say it, Eloise could see the unasked question in his eyes. Are we safe? She smiled softly, “Nah, you two’ll be fine. Basically I told them if they want to talk to me, then they need to get their bosses involved, and somehow I highly doubt God and Satan are gonna pop down for a friendly chat any time soon. Even then, you two should be fine. I don’t think any of that lot clocked on that you were here.”

Crowley nodded in understanding, and it didn’t escape Eloise’s attention how the remaining dregs of tension visibly dissipated from both of their bodies. Aziraphale and Crowley looked at each other for a moment, the relief palpable from the pair of them. Eloise averted her eyes, giving them the privacy that they didn’t necessarily need but probably did want. She allowed herself a moment to ponder their relationship. They were very in tune with each other, very in sync, that much was obvious. Are they in love? The question sounded ridiculous the moment she thought it. Of course they are, look at them. She’d seen that look time and time again over the millennia. Although when she thought about the way they looked at each other further, that lead to another question. Do they know? The hint of yearning in their eyes was subtle but it was there. No, absolutely not. They’re too comfortable with each other. They’re a unit, that much she could tell. A unit that might not want to be disturbed.

Oh dear.

She looked back up at them hesitantly, unsure of what to say for the first time that evening. Eventually she said, “I’d better go. I think I’ve outstayed my welcome.”

Crowley frowned. Hadn’t she said she’d been travelling for a while? “You got somewhere to stay?”

Eloise paused. She’d definitely not been expecting that response. “Not yet. There is a flat I was going to rent but the people haven’t moved out yet because of the lockdown and it seems rude to miracle them away. I’m sure I’ll think of something.”

“Stay here,” Crowley said almost instantly, then pulled a face of confusion at how quickly he replied, “I mean, only if you want to.”

Eloise blinked at that. Surely, they wouldn’t want her there? What reason could they possibly have to want her there? “Wait, are you sure? I wouldn’t want to intrude.”

Crowley just shrugged, “It’s not a problem. What are your options anyway? No hotels are open, and you can’t stay with anyone.”

“Only if you’re sure,” she murmured, still wary for a reason she couldn’t quite put her finger on. She glanced at Aziraphale for confirmation; it was his bookshop after all.

He nodded firmly, “Of course. I’ve been told the sofa is remarkably comfy,” he added with a twinkle in his eye, to which she grinned broadly.

A short while and a few miracles later, the sofa downstairs had become a makeshift bed that was significantly larger and softer than it had remembered it being. Eloise was currently settled on it; all it had taken was ten minutes for her to completely crash out. Aziraphale and Crowley had left her in peace with a chuckle, heading up to the bedroom they shared (that wasn’t out of choice, mind you. Simply because there was only one bedroom in the bookshop. No other reason.) One slightly confused item of furniture aside, all seemed to be well in the bookshop.

Upstairs in the bedroom, an angel and a demon were sitting in the same bed. Neither of them had thought to turn off the lights, so they were sat in thick silence in the bedroom. Aziraphale didn’t usually come up to bed, not as used to sleeping as Crowley was, instead opting to read the night away downstairs. However this seemed impolite considering their new guest, so he’d come up with Crowley. And while Crowley was mulling this over he finally stumbled upon why he felt so uneasy.

Aziraphale hadn’t brought a book up with him.

As bizarre a concern as that may seem, Crowley could always trust Aziraphale to bring a book up to bed with him on the rare occasion he came up at night. That was one of the things he lo- liked about him. Liked. He looked at Aziraphale curiously, noting the slight frown on his face as he stared into space. How deep in his head must he have been to forget a book? “You alright, angel?” he asked as softly as he could so as to not startle him.

He looked at Crowley with wide eyes that darted away almost instantly as he started to play with his hands in his lap, “Yes, my dear, I’m fine. I just realised something, is all.”

Crowley cocked his head in interest, “Oh really? What was it?”

He was silent for a little while before saying in a voice no louder than a whisper, “I think I was there when she Fell.”

Crowley felt his eyebrows raise in shock, looking away for a second to try and compose himself. “Right. Well, that’s a thing.”

“Quite.”

He furrowed his brows as he tried to make sense of what this meant now, “And was she telling the truth? Did all that actually happen?”

“Yes. I remember it perfectly well. Clear as day,” he managed to choke out with a forced smile before going back to his routine fidgeting.

Crowley laid a gentle hand on top of Aziraphale’s, stopping what he was doing and getting him to actually look him in the eye for longer than a second. “You sure you’re alright?”

“I am quite well. Don’t fret,” he said, and despite Crowley’s concern, he couldn’t pretend that the smile on Aziraphale’s face wasn’t genuine, however small it may have been.

He reluctantly let it go, changing the subject quickly, “You alright with her staying here? I know it just sort of happened.”

The smile on his face only grew, much to Crowley’s surprise, “It’s alright. After all, wasn’t it you who said we’re on our own side now? I think she’s the first person we’ve met who might understand what that means.”

Crowley tried not to think too much about the fact that Aziraphale had actually listened to him when he’d said that, let alone remembered it, instead opting for a casual, “Yeah, I suppose so. Right, I’m gonna get some sleep. I, um, yeah,” he stammered out awkwardly, cursing his brain for not thinking of literally any other decent response.

Aziraphale simply smiled fondly at him, “Indeed. Goodnight, my dear.”

*************

Hello my love,

At the time of writing this, I do not know what the future holds. For me it’s an uncertain, unstoppable force, and it’s not one I think I can fend off for much longer. I’ve tried, please believe that I’ve tried. I’ve tried for your sake to prevent the inevitable. But it’s coming. I can feel it. It won’t be long now, I don’t think.

If you’re reading this, it means I was right, and I have Fallen. I know you’re probably confused and scared and that there is a biting anger bubbling inside you. I wish I could tell you why this is happening. I wish I could tell you that this is all a huge misunderstanding that will be resolved soon.

I wish I could tell you I love you one more time.

But I can’t. There are many things I can’t do now, and it’ll do me no good to dwell on this any longer than I have to. To survive we must focus on what we can do, and that’s exactly what I’m asking you to do.

If I know myself as well as I think I do, there are many things I would have liked to have said to you upon our final farewell, but didn’t because I wanted to make sure you were alright. Don’t feel guilty about this, my love. Think of it as my last debt to you being repaid.

I have a plan. Well, it’s more of an idea, and it might not work. And it’s because of this that I shan’t tell you exactly what it is. It seems cruel to allow you to hope for something that might never come into fruition. But please put your faith in me, and in our love, for we will prevail. One way or another.

I hope that you didn’t wait to read this letter because you were scared of its contents, though I’m sure this isn’t the case. You were always brave. It was always something I loved about you. Your quiet, beautiful, roaring courage in the face of such turmoil and anguish. You always had the courage to be kind and to love with all your being, even when everything was against you. No one would have blamed you if you had turned cold and bitter, and yet you chose not to. I admire you for it every day. My idea, should it work, will require us both to be incredibly brave. But more on that another day. It’s that bravery and that strength that you will need to rely on now. That, and the thought of me. Though I may not physically be with you, but I hope that my love’s own soul is enough.

I won’t sign off this letter, because this is not where our story ends. There is much left to be written. And I need you to remember that each day we are parted. Until the next time, my love.

#good omens #good omens headcanon #good omens fic #good omens imagine #crowley #crowley headcanon #crowley imagine #Aziraphale #aziraphale imagine #aziraphale headcanon #Ineffable Husbands

[jamaiskookie]

mutuals (pjmxreader) [bonus:celibacy]

~mutuals~ [youtuber!reader x idol!jimin] social media AU

synopsis: park jimin is a (slightly problematic) idol singer, and he becomes completely smitten with a youtuber after stumbling upon her dance cover to his own song.

genre: fluff, a good dosing of cracK, literally two seconds of angst blink and u miss it

word count:  2.3k

[A/N]: thank you for all the love you’ve given mutuals! can’t believe it’s only been like one week since this blog has been up hehE enjoy this drabble of thirsty!jimin after he found your video. if you have no idea what i’m talking about gO READ THE FIRST CHAPTER

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           When JinHit first hit record sales with the success of Jimin’s mini album, and RAPLINE’s first title single a couple years ago, Jin finally gave in to Jimin’s begging and gave all the artists their own personalised studio in the JinHit building. It’s where all the greatest hits on the charts are written. It’s practically the modern eighth wonder of the world, considering the names and talent that have graced the walls. 

          Jimin, Yoongi, and Namjoon all have their separate studios to write, produce, and record in, and all three of the small rooms are located next to each other. Partially because of design and common sense, but also so all three friends can conveniently annoy each other when needed. Jin’s office isn’t too far away either, just across the floor. Usually, if they’re all working in the studio, they’ll walk over to Jin’s office during lunch hour and leech off his amazing personal pantry in his office. The office is much, much bigger than their studios, and Jimin never fails to remind Jin that. 

          All three artists have grown a little attached to their studios. It’s where they do what they all love most, after all. Yoongi barely lets anyone into his ‘Genius Lab’, and ever since a staff member accidentally messed with his coffee machine, he hasn’t let anyone step foot in. Nobody’s even allowed to come inside Namjoon’s studio during what he calls his ‘namjoon talent time’ which is basically just a period of time before comeback season where he locks himself in the studio, writing music 24/7. 

          He occasionally asks Jimin to listen to his unreleased files for suggestions, but other than that, noone except Yoongi goes inside his studio during ‘namjoon talent time’, and Namjoon only reluctantly lets him in as his bandmate. Not that Jimin minds, he hasn’t been let inside since he accidentally mistook Joon’s studio for his own and brought one of his one-night-stands over. Joonie was horrified, and made Jimin sanitise, wash and clean every part of the room, all while he cried about how his ‘baby was molested’. It was traumatising for both parties. 

          Out of the three, Jimin’s the least protective over his studio, even though he’s the one who put the most effort into it. He’s spent years perfecting it, making it the best place for inspiration and writing music. Everything in the studio has been personally chosen and thought out by him. The snacks and custom mini fridge, the wall of his entire discography, trophies, music awards, and his personal favourite, the official JIMIN logo sign above the couch. 

          It lights up in purple.

          Despite being a pretty stereotypical assholey partying douche idol, Jimin’s likes to think he’s actually quite talented. He’s been named ‘Most professional idol’ on every single online survey he can find (He’s also always voted for ‘Most handsome’, but that’s besides the point), and it’s true. Jimin never sells himself short. He is a professional musician, singer, and producer. He writes his own music, choreographs his own dancing, and uses his platform to spread positive, meaningful messages. There’s a reason he’s so internationally successful, and it’s because he’s talented. 

          Maybe right now isn’t a great example of his talent. Jimin was in his studio, holding his head in his hands. Sure, he’s a globally recognised and accomplished songwriter, but to be honest, he hadn’t written a single piece of original JIMIN music since he wrote ‘Filter’ with Namjoon months ago. He was in the biggest creative slump in his entire career. He had tried almost everything, co-writing, exercise, music samples, playing around on instruments. Hell he even tried music therapy. Whatever melody he tried to create, whatever lyrics he tried to write, it all came out sounding like garbage. 

          Yesterday was a little bit of a blow to Jimin’s ego. It was three in the morning, and he’d been in the studio for seven hours, with only one verse written. 

I love to let loose,

Have you ever tried eating moose?

It’s all so bananas,

Tony fucking Montana. 

          Yeah, it’s pretty embarrassing. It’s not even a verse, it looks more like a kindergartener’s attempt to write poetry. For the first time in his life, he doesn’t really feel like writing music or putting his thoughts in a song. Jimin is just plain out of ideas. He has nothing to write about. And if he doesn’t have good content to put out, he’d rather not put anything out at all. 

          But he still hates it. All his life, he’s coped by writing, singing and dancing. This writer’s block has been too frustrating. Too many sleepless nights and crumpled papers have been wasted over it, with no progress or music in result. Plus, Jin might be one of his closest friends, but Jin was also a boss, and he still needed more tracks for Jimin’s big comeback, happening end of the year. 

          He can’t help it. Jimin has nothing left to write about. He opened one eye when he heard the distant ding of his phone coming from somewhere in the studio. Grumbling incoherently, he opened the notification, to find… you. 

          Jimin’s mouth was hanging open the entire video. His eyes twitched the tiniest bit and he almost dropped the phone when you said his face was “decent”, but he had to watch it again, because the first time around, he didn’t hear a word that came out your damn mouth. He was otherwise… preoccupied. No matter how much he tried, he just couldn’t tear his damn eyes off the screen. Curse Min Yoongi for sending him this. 

          He even cringed when he had to bring his sleeve up to wipe the tiniest bit of drool off his face. Practically salivating. What the fuck? How old was he? He was Park Jimin, why was he popping a boner from watching some stranger on the internet dance to his songs? He’s been in the industry for way too long now, he was practically immune to scantily clad women prancing around him. So why he completed concentrated on your stupid little crop top? Not to mention, you were practically insulting him at this point. What was so special? 

          For one moment, Jimin forced his eyes off the screen, wondering if the sleep deprivation had really affected him that much, or if this was another side effect of the writer’s block he’s been having. It’s the partying ‘clean act’ ban Jin’s been forcing me to go on, he thought, even though Jimin wasn’t totally convinced of that. (Despite swearing not to, he looked straight back to down at his phone afterwards to reply the video.) 

          He was so fixated on the screen, he didn’t even notice when Yoongi flung the door open and walked inside. Jimin only lifted his head when he heard Yoongi’s obnoxiously loud groan. 

          “What- When did you get here?” Yoongi recently went back to a fan-favourite hair colour of his, and Jimin was still not used to seeing him with bright mint coloured hair. In his opinion, he looked like a highlighter, but Yoongi seemed to not mind it. 

          “I’ve been standing here for the past two minutes, drinking my coffee. The fuck you watching on your phone that’s got you drooling?” 

          “NOTHING.” Yoongi narrowed his eyes, and before Jimin could even move away, he managed to snatch the phone away from Jimin’s hands. 

          “What the fuck- how? You know, this is why your fanbase thinks you’re a cat.” Yoongi ignored his words with ease. “Oh my god,” He said. “Are you watching the video I sent you? I didn’t expect you to actually watch it.” 

          “I always watch my fan’s videos after a comeback!” Jimin insisted, clawing upwards to steal his own phone back, but Yoongi kept slapping his hands away. 

          “Yeah, but this isn’t a fan. This is just like, one of your fanboys and a girl roasting you.” Yoongi stared back at Jimin suspiciously when he tried to defend himself. “Why were you watching this girl dance like a starving man, Chim?” 

          “Just, because- what- I was nOT watching her like a starving man. Don’t look at me like I’m some kind of a pervert!” Jimin finally managed to grab ahold of his phone again, and he threw it behind him on the couch, away from Yoongi. 

          “Hyung,” He sighed. “I think maybe it’s Jin’s new ‘clean, good boy’ rule. Along with this stupid fucking slump I’ve been having these days, I just don’t feel great, okay? So don’t be so fussy with me. I can’t write, I can’t party… If I want to ogle over some random girl on the internet, I will.” Jimin cringed once the words came out of his mouth, but Yoongi slowly nodded, sitting down on the couch. 

          Min Yoongi may be a little too gay to understand Jimin’s womaniser ways, but the frustration behind not being able to write music, that, he understood. “You’re trying to justify being a perv by using your mental problems, but I’ll talk to you about that later on.”

          “Chim, we all have our slumps. It’s honestly a wonder that this is your first serious creative block. Me and Joon, and every single artist in the world, is bound to go through that at some point. It’s not the end. You’ll still be able to write good music soon, you’re a good writer.” Jimin refused to meet Yoongi’s eyes, even if what he was saying did make a little sense. He just chose to stay silent. 

          “You just have nothing left to write about. You can’t keep living like this though, Chimmy. It’s unhealthy.” 

          “What do you mean, unhealthy? I’m perfectly fine, thank you.” 

          Yoongi stared at him deadpan, gesturing to the entire state of his studio. “It’s a complete mess in here,” He said. “Plus, I don’t think you’ve left this studio for days. The others may not want to say it to your face, but we’re all a bit worried about you. Stop forcing yourself to ingest all these redbulls to try to keep writing.” 

          “When inspiration comes, it’ll come. You can’t force it, it doesn’t work that way. What you need, is a break. Go back home for once, maybe visit your mom. And for god’s sakes, take a shower please. Trust me, okay?”

          Yoongi doesn’t like admitting it, but he’s the most caring one out of their friend group. Anyone can tell from the look in his eyes right now, that he’s genuinely concerned about his friend. He’s also the one with most sense, but Jimin will never tell him that, because his advice, no matter how sensible, is useless. 

          All he’s known is singing, writing, and throwing himself in work. To just stop? Even if it’s to take a short break, it doesn’t feel right to Jimin. Instead of telling Yoongi his problems, he just poked his tongue in his cheek. If lightbulbs actually popped up above people’s heads when they had a good idea, a massive one would’ve appeared on top of Jimin’s. 

          “I’ve got it!” He said, excitedly. Yoongi sat up straight. “You’re going to take my advice for once?”

          “No, of course not, Hyung. Don’t be silly.” Yoongi slouched his back again, closing his eyes. 

          “I’ll just hit this girl up!” Yoongi’s eyes snapped open. 

          “What.” 

          “Yeah! Who knows, y’know? Maybe I’ve been keeping myself to Jin’s rules a little too well. It won’t hurt the company if I let myself go just once. Blow off some steam, come back fresh and recharged.” Jimin rubbed his hands together like a bad Disney villain. 

          “It’s too early for this.” Yoongi whispered, pinching the bridge of his nose.

          “It’s three in the afternoon.” Yoongi ignored him. 

          “You really aren’t going to take my advice, huh.” 

          “Nope!” Jimin said, popping the ‘p’ annoyingly. 

          “You promised Jin you’d go celibate.”

          “I said I’d clean up the partying act. I don’t recall taking a vow of celibacy.” Yoongi just sighed, and fell back down on the sofa, mindlessly sipping at his coffee. 

          Jimin hesitated. “You’re not going to… tell me not to? Or give me another one of your eco-feminist speeches again?” Yoongi shrugged. 

          “You’ve heard it too many times. Plus, I have a feeling this is going to be funny.” 

          “Funny? Hyung, what part of this could possible be funny to you?” There was a brief pause filled with awkward silence, before Yoongi blinked slowly. 

          “When she rejects you, of course.” Jimin threw his jacket, aimed straight for Yoongi’s head. His stupidly fast cat-like reflexes managed to dodge it, but Jimin scowled at him nonetheless. 

          “She’s not going to reject me.” Jimin walked over, picking up the very same jacket he threw at Yoongi, before plopping his sunglasses back on his face. “No woman has ever managed to reject me before, and I intend on adding her to that list.” He pursed his lips. 

          “Plus, she’s super hot. Great ass. Attractive people attract attractive people.” Jimin turned his phone back on once more to sneak one last peek at you in the thumbnail of the video, before stuffing his phone into his back pocket. “I just need to get it out of my system. This might be what I need to get me out of this creative rut!”

          He could’ve sworn Yoongi muttered something under his breath, something along the lines of ‘fucking asshole’, but he chose to ignore it. 

          “Alright, well, see you, Yoons!” Jimin practically skipped out of the studio, startling the producer’s assistant outside with his slightly disturbing enlarged grin. 

          “Don’t come crying to me when she refuses to get in your pants, you fucking diva!”

          Jimin continued walking towards the elevator, but he threw up his middle finger behind him. 

“DON’T RUIN MY EXIT, BITCH!” 

[taglist:] @notmontae97​​ @lucedelsole97​

#bts #bangtan #bangtanboys #bangtan soyeondan #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #park jimin #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook #bts fanfiction #bts sm #bts fake texts #bts sm au #bts au #idol!au #park jimin fanfiction #park jimin fic #jimin fic #jimin drabble #jimin fluff #bts crack #jimin x reader #taekook #vkook #taekook au #jimin au #mutuals #jimin hcs

[gra-sonas]

Hiiii! What are you thoughts about RNM finale! How do you feel about it? I'm glad Alex was happy and I kind of understand why Micha walked out in the middle of the song even though I know some people didn't like it... Anyways! Hope you have a great day! 😁

Hi nonnie!

Am I having a great day, running on roughly 2 hours of sleep and sheer force of will? Debatable. :P

I’ve been listening to Tyler’s song all day tho, that has definitely improved my mood significantly. I’ll never be over the beauty that is this Malex song. WE GOT A MALEX SONG, Y’ALL!!!! And Tyler’s voice... yeah, the absolute best thing ever. I’m at peace just listening to him. 🥰

WOULD YOU COME HOME is without a doubt the best thing of this episode, the best thing of the season tbh. With that being said, I wrote down some more things.

Putting this incoherent mess behind a cut tho (I’m LJ years old, it’s a cut, not a Read More :P), fingers cross Tumblr doesn’t botch the damn thing.

Hmmmm, I’ll admit that last night (I watched live at 3am, which probably was NOT the best idea, but then I’m an adult, what else am I supposed to do other than make TERRIBLE LIFE CHOICES...), I really hated it.

Nothing made sense, too many questions were left unanswered, Malex were robbed of saying “I love you” to each other first, they were also robbed of an opportunity to talk (dear god, when will they finally TALK, it’s literally all I want), Michael was made to leave IN THE MIDDLE OF THE LOVE LETTER ALEX WAS SINGING TO HIM IN PUBLIC (omfg, I’m still so fucking PISSED about that, I’m FUMING) by the writers just to keep the ~drama going, Malex were robbed of a first public kiss, in one moment at the bar it looks like Michael took the handkerchief off, but there’s no way of telling whether they simply forgot to put it on him, or if it was deliberate and he actually took it off and we were robbed of that very significant moment.

Also ngl, Jesse’s death? Underwhelming. I mean, I’m glad he’s finally gone, but his whole storyline this season was underwhelming and so was his death. Oh well, underwhelming is my rating of S2 overall, guess it makes sense for this super villain to go out with a meh instead of a bang.

Blah, I'm still not super happy about the finale, and I especially wanted Michael to hear the WHOLE song, mainly the final two lines

You were the best of me You are the best of me

but since we can’t have nice things it’s not surprising that I’m not a huge fan. At least it wasn’t as devastating as 1x13, or as gross and triggering in 2x06, small mercies, I guess :P

Ngl, the Forlex kiss didn’t spark joy for me personally. I’m a mono shipper, and just like I hated seeing Michael kiss someone else, I hated seeing Alex do the same. But I understand why he did it. Michael left halfway through the song, and Alex was so relieved and proud of himself that he sang it, and Forrest was right there (wearing his Deep Sky ring 👀).

And hey, Alex asked and Forrest gave enthusiastic consent, I appreciate that very much!

I also really liked that Alex and Michael got to destroy the damn shed. I absolutely ADORE that Gregory was there when Alex sang,  alive and looking like the proudest big brother ever (like you don’t even know HOW MUCH I love him!!! ). Tanner’s such an amazing addition to the cast and I hope we’ll get to see him more often next season!

I’m glad that neither Alex or Michael were burdened with Jesse’s death, I hate that Gregory is carrying that burden now, but he seems to be better equipped for it, and I think he’ll be okay living with it.

Also a glimmer of hope for my baby Flint and a possible redemption arc? I like it (mainly bc I adore Kiowa, I just want him back).

The Echo breakup was long overdue, IDK, I haven’t cared that much about them as a couple for a long time, they’ve been lying to each other throughout most of the season, insofar it makes perfect sense that they go their separate ways now.

Rrrrosaaaaaa!!! My girl, I’m so damn PROUD of her!!!! She’s doing absolutely amazing, and I hope they’ll bring Iris back for her in S3 as a real friend. She deserves to spend time with people other than the “alien circle” at large.

M/M breakup... let’s just say I’m glad that particular nightmare is finally OVER. Time for Michael to work on himself. He didn’t get much opportunity to do that all season.

I’m a bit worried that due to the larger time jump between S2 and 3 we’ll either not get to see much of his development, or - even worse - he hasn’t worked on himself when we meet him again. That’s why I really rather hate S2 for him as a character. Oh well, that’s something to worry about in a year, I guess.

KYLE. I was happy about the blink-and-you’ll-miss-it Kylex moment, but overall S2′s done him dirty. Constantly sidelined, stuck in a relationship I still don’t care about even a little bit. And now Liz even played “god” and saved Steph (which in itself is a good thing, but Liz has been doing this all season, and no one’s stopped her, and I find that worrisome.) I guess with Steph being saved she’s also going to be in S3? Meh, I couldn’t care less, but also something to worry about next year.

Isobel didn’t get to do all that much this episode, but I love her, she’s had an amazing journey this season, and I feel she’s in a really good place right now. GOOD FOR HER!

SANDERS! Not in this episode, but damn, I love him, and I’m SO glad that MICHAEL’S DAD HAS BEEN INTRODUCED TO US THIS SEASON!

Jenna & Charlie AAAAAAHHHHHHHH, I’m so happy for them! And I’m excited to hopefully see both of them again next season! They are amazing, and as a duo a force to be reckoned with! Excited for Riley’s show Hightown to be renewed, still hope she’ll find time to travel to Santa Fe to be in several episodes of RNM.

Max... Ngl, I’m not a fan of the character. Never have been. And while Max 2.0 was nicer than Max 1.0, I never really warmed up to him. Let’s see how things with “Mr. Jones” and Max will go next season.

Maria... Let’s see how things with her go next season. Maybe she’ll finally be allowed to have a storyline that doesn’t revolve around other people.

Circling back to Alex. I love him, I love him the most. He’s on par with my other favorite character of all time (Derek Hale, in case that wasn’t clear). He’s so important to me, and Tyler did the most exquisite job playing him. S2′s been a difficult season for him and I hated that for him.

The writers held him back at almost every turn, he wasn’t allowed to move on, instead Michael got to “dump” Alex every second episode. Man, it got old real fast. But Alex’s resilience finally hammered it home to Michael, that Alex is not leaving again. He’s right there, and he’ll even show up when Michael calls him. New experience for him, I’m sure.

IDK, this whole season was such a mess, so many things that weren’t resolved in the end, the lack of a main plot kept bothering me, and I hated that some of my favorite S1 friendships were completely sidelined.

I hate that an entire season was wasted on Malex being apart, especially wasted for Michael who had a lot of shit on his plate I hoped he’d get a chance at working through (at least in part) in S2, but that didn’t happen. He had some lightbulb moments, but overall he’s still pretty much in the same spot he was at the beginning of the season.

And while I agree that he’s not ready to be with Alex atm, I hate that he did not communicate that to Alex properly, and instead left halfway through Alex’s song.

IDK, I just feel like pretty much every fanfic writer in our fandom would’ve done a better job at writing them this season, they would’ve been allowed to move forward separately, but still towards a common goal.

I know, they are endgame, there’s no doubt about that, but I’m TIRED of them not talking. And especially after Alex’s performance.

Either way, I don’t think any of this makes much sense, coherent thoughts, I don’t have them atm. I’ll need more time to think things through, and maybe my overall negative opinion of this season won’t be quite so negative anymore. Who knows.

I’ve always wondered whether I’d feel like finally watching S2 once I know how it ends, and right now I can answer that question with a firm NO. Canon exhausts me. I’m looking forward to fandom getting time to take a deep breath and process this season. 

I’m excited that we get to take care of the characters for the next year. It’s time for some good development, for tons of fics where Malex actually talk to each other, where Gregory is an awesome brother, Sanders adopts Michael and a million other things.

If there’s one thing I’m grateful for is, that the finale didn’t ruin Malex entirely. I’d been really worried about that.

THEY ARE OURS AGAIN, FOLKS! \0/

#rnm 2x13 #rnm spoilers #rnm speculation #malex are endgame pass it on #tyler's music #is healing my soul #rnm review #nonnie asks

[tanookikiss]

With Love, Your Biggest Fan

Happy birthday @terraqua111​ ! Thank you for being such an awesome friend! This one’s for you ~ I hope you enjoy! <3

Pairing: Gene x Eric.C

Rating: G

.......................................................................................

POV Gene

Eric Carr had been our new drummer for a couple of months. Life on the road was making him feel like a fish out of water. Though he desperately tried to hide it, it was as clear as day to me. It happened after every show. The fans and groupies would swarm me, Paul and Ace, praising and fawning over us like gods. They would run right past and sometimes into Eric, not even acknowledging him a simple glance. I mean, he was a bit of a small fry in the crowd. They don’t thank him, or tell him he did a good job. To them, The Fox was simply a temporary drummer until The Catman returned.

Night after night, I observed as a tensed Eric stood alone in the corner backstage. We would try to pull him in front of the crowd and talk of all the great things he did and how his drumming was breathing new life into KISS. It only fell on blank stares and deaf ears. The KISS army had not quite accepted Eric as the band’s new drummer just yet.

Eric never once resented us or the fans for his exclusion. He understood replacing a founding band member would not be easy. He, himself looked up to Peter Criss, and he knew he had some big shoes to fill once he accepted the role as KISS’s drummer. Eric continued to work his ass off with a big smile on his face on and off stage. His optimistic attitude never faltered even when he didn’t receive any fan mail.

Eric would sit quietly, pretending to busy his interest with the TV Guide while we dug into our Mount Everest sized piles of handwritten love letters. Eric didn’t know that I was secretly watching him. The pain on his face haunted me later that night. I couldn’t sleep, every time I closed my eyes all I could see was his face flushed red with tears brimming in his eyes. I overheard him confess to a crew member that he didn’t feel like he belonged with us. That confession broke my heart. He was hurting, and I had to do something about it. I wanted to show him that he was very much loved and adored too!

I sighed as I got up from my hotel bed, flicking on the little lamp on top of the work desk. I pulled out a pen and the stationery from the drawer and started writing my letter.

With Love, Your Biggest Fan

The reaction was far greater than I ever imagined. I had snuck the letter into the band’s incoming mailbag on the way into the rehearsal space. The look on Eric’s face was priceless, he looked like an excited child on Christmas morning. As soon as it was handed to him, he opened it as carefully as possible, as if it was made of the most precious material in the world. Once he read the actual letter, he was literally bouncing off with the wall in joy. Pure joy. Not just the fake smile he would give to hide behind the pain that he had felt. He was truly happy. My breathing hitched and it took every ounce of self-control to keep me from getting teary eyed. Eric was precious. I would do anything to keep him this happy forever!

I started to write the letters as often as possible, each one becoming longer and more passionate than the last. I was a bit confused at these sudden intense emotions for Eric. All I wanted to do was to cheer my friend up, but I just couldn’t stop baring my soul to him on paper. I couldn’t imagine a world worth living if Eric was unhappy. Whenever he smiled, my heart would stop. I wanted to hold Eric tightly, daring any evil to try and hurt my sweet little fox!

With Love, Your Secret Admirer

I don’t remember when I started signing that, it just started to happen. I was becoming more comfortable writing these love letters. Eric seemed in constant high, always singing a happy tune to himself and walking with a spring in his step. He looked absolutely gorgeous smiling brightly as he hugged my letter against his heart. I desperately wanted to kiss him.

I wanted to kiss him?

I wanted to kiss my dear friend…

I stared at the paper, my mind a flurry of emotions. The pen trembled in my hand as tears of frustration fell silently, though I made sure not to let them spill onto the letter. With a heavy sigh, I wrote what needed to be said.

With Love, Your Biggest Fan and Secret Admirer

It wasn’t a fictional person sending Eric these letters. I was not writing them from a point of view of a fan that had never spoken to Eric before and only thought of him as a Rock n’ Roll God. These were my thoughts and feelings for him. I had come to terms that I was madly in love with Paul Charles Caravello.

I had never been more anxious in my life then when Eric read this letter. Eric was confused at first and re-read it dozens of times before it actually sunk in. He wasn’t angry or creeped out, thankfully. He actually blushed.

And he didn’t stop smiling.

Eric didn’t know it was me. He didn’t know I was the one professing my deepest desires for him. He couldn’t know, no matter how much I longed for those smiles to be for me, no matter how much I craved for his touch, no matter how I would kill for just one kiss, he could never know the truth.

Because it would hurt him.

He would resent me and I couldn’t live with that.

I was always so careful when I was writing, especially when Eric shared a room with me. I always completed and hid the evidence from Eric before I fell asleep. Only this time…I was distracted with a phone interview that I had accidentally left the letter out on the desk while I was in the other room.

My entire world came crashing down when I returned to a devastated Eric.

Eric was standing at the desk, holding my letter, shaking violently, a look of horror and terror on his face. The look on Eric’s face caused my blood to freeze and my heart to practically shatter. He looked betrayed, as if I had destroyed everything that mattered to him.

He wasn’t smiling anymore.

I tried to speak. My throat was dry and I could barely breath, until I saw the tears.

I had hurt him.

Suddenly, I started confessing or rather babbling incoherently of all of the things I would write about, and why I wrote about them. I talked for hours, tears streaming down both our faces. I tried to focus on an explanation, but I kept repeating the very things I wrote to him. I told him how beautiful he was to me, how much he meant to me and how much I wanted him to be happy. I couldn’t shut up if I wanted to.

I told him how much I loved him.

He had stopped crying by then. His face was blank but as soon as I started to speak—

He hugged me.

“Did you really mean everything you wrote, Gene?” He asked softly, his face buried into my shoulder.

“Yes, with all my heart,” I wailed, holding him tight, placing a gentle kiss atop his poofy mane.

Pulling back, he looked me in the eyes and gave me the most beautiful smile I had ever seen from him.

He was smiling for me!

It’s been a few months since then. The fans have started to accept Eric and realize what an incredible person he truly is! He has fans and groupies stampeding towards him after the shows now and, he has even started receiving an abundance of fan mail. He receives as many love letters as Paul, much to Paul’s dismay!

I still write him love letters, leaving them on his nightstand before the show, and Eric silently reads them afterwards. He tells me my letters are his favorite ones to read! The angelic smiles he gives were no longer for a mystery person who lived in the shadows. They were for me.

And that was the greatest gift I could have ever received.

#KISS fanfiction #kiss band fanfiction #tanookiroxx #fanfiction #demonfox #Gene x Eric.C #fluff #KISS fanfiction writer

[nicostolemybones]

Solangelo

I answered in short fics for each question! 

1. Who Reaches Out To New Neighbours

“Nico, what on Earth are you doing,” Will asked, snaking his arms around Nico’s waist and pressing a gentle kiss to the back of Nico’s neck.

“There’s a moving truck which means new people. I don’t like people,” Nico replied, taking Will’s hands.

“So you’re stalking them from the window?”

“I’m observing,” Nico corrected, and Will sighed, gently turning Nico around in his arms and cupping his cheek in his hand.

“I know it unnerves you, but it’s going to be okay,” he said gently, “I’ll go round to see them, scope them out. I’m sure they’ll be nice people, and if not, we stick to ourselves, okay?” There was a small pause.

“You’re going to bake them cookies, aren’t you?”

“Yep, I’m gonna bake them cookies.”

“What if they’re psychopathic murderers, Will,” Nico whined dramatically, “what if they’re cannibals and they eat you after they eat your cookies, Will, you need to poison the cookies!”

“Oh my gods, Nico,” Will sighed in exasperation, “They’re not gonna eat us, you’d probably bite them if they tried because you’re like a freaking really grumpy cat, di Angelo!” Will smushed Nico’s cheeks, who tried his best at a murder glare. Will merely giggled and glowed, booping his nose. “Boop!” Nico snapped playfully at Will’s finger, who yelped in surprise and put on a fake hurt glare whilst Nico smirked smugly. “I’m gonna go bake cookies for the neighbours!”

2. Who Remembers To Buy Healthy Food

“WILL!” Nico yelled, and Will came skidding into the kitchen.

“What’s happened?”

“What is this?” Nico held up a bag full of salad ingredients on the end of a spatula, holding it at arm’s length.

“Healthy food.”

“I don’t want it, I don’t like it, I want to set it on fire.”

“No setting the food on fire, Nico! I’m making a stir fry, I figured I should make it colourful and healthy,” Will explained calmly with a small smile.

“But it’s yucky vegetables!” Nico protested, staring at the bag of healthy food like it had personally offended him.

“No, they’re delicious, and without them, you will literally slowly die of disease.”

“At least I would have tasted something better than cardboard!”

Will sighed heavily. “If I deep fry it will you eat the veg-”

“Yes!”

3. Who Remembers To Buy Junk Food?

Will was awoken by clattering downstairs. Convinced he was about to be murdered, he reached for Nico, but he found the space beside him unoccupied. With a heavy sigh, Will trudged downstairs, grabbing the bow and arrow he kept on the stairwell and loading an arrow ready.  He turned on his glow, ready to attack- and screamed.

“Gods Nico! Don’t just do that! What are you doing down here? Is that McDonald’s?!”

Nico froze, a nugget hanging out of his mouth and eyes iridescently reflecting like a cat’s. “No,” Nico lied round the nugget.

“It’s like four am, holy shit Nico,” Will groaned, “I can’t believe you!”

Nico blinked, staring for a moment, before taking the nugget out of his mouth and holding it out. “Nugget?”

“I’ll make you into a nugget in a minute,” Will grumbled, turning on the light and sitting at the table. Will slid a bag over to Will, who peered inside, more than happy to see a quarter pounder inside. “Gods I love you. McDonald’s at 4am.”

“Only because I know you forget to eat after a night shift and somebody has to feed you.”

4. Who Fixes The Oven When It Breaks

“NICO!” Will yelled, and Nico skidded into the kitchen on his socks. “Is the cooker meant to do that?”

“Do what?”

“That.” Will pointed to where there was a plastic plate and utensils melted onto the hob.

“Will. How? How did you do this? How? This is worse than the time you set the spaghetti on fire!”

“I was trying to reheat my jacket potatoes on the hob and I left and then the plate was goo!”

Nico facepalmed hard. “You’re meant to put stuff in the Microwave, Will, good old Chef Mike! Of course plastic will melt on the hob! You’re supposed to have a brain cell! Idiota!”

“Sorry,” Will pouted, “I really can’t cook.”

“You silly sunshine,” Nico teased affectionately, wrapping his arms around Will and swaying slightly, “I’ll have to teach you to cook as soon as we get Leo to fix it. I’ll teach you how to cook real food, not this bland muck, then you won’t be living off hospital food all the time. In the meantime, how about we order a takeaway? You can choose and I’ll pay.” Nico pressed a loving kiss to his cheek to let him know that he wasn’t mad at Will for accidentally ruining the cooker.

“Any takeaway?”

“Anything you want. Now go sit down and I’ll do you some tea, you’re probably stressed about the cooker and you need to take care of yourself.”

5. Who Waters Their Plants/ Feeds Their Pets?

“Will,” Nico interrupted, “Are you talking to a houseplant.”

“And singing to it!” Will beamed, and Nico sighed, smiling to himself.

“That’s adorable Will.”

“Thank you! I watered it but I felt bad about forgetting to water it yesterday so I wrote it an apology song. Did you feed the pets?”

“Oh my god, stop being adorable you dork,” Nico huffed, standing on his toes to rest his elbow on Will’s shoulder. Will bent down to allow Nico to do so. “And I did. The cat hissed at me because I gave it the wrong flavour and the dog slobbered all over my face and proceeded to eat the cat’s food. It reminds me of you.”

“I have never slobbered on your face, I just licked it once when I was drunk and happened to drool on your cheek a little! Anyway, you’re only saying this because you know you’re just like the cat.” Nico hissed for effect, and Will giggled, resuming serenading the plants. Nico discreetly pulled his headphones on- Will loved to sing, bless his heart, he just wasn’t very good at it. But Nico never wanted him to stop, because his whole face lit up and it was worth the damage to his ears.

6. Who Wakes Up Earlier

Nico was rudely awoken at the asscrack of dawn by Will’s heavy stomping around the bedroom. Nico groaned in protest, burying himself into the covers. He scooted over to the still warm patch where Will had been sleeping and inhaled the scent of Will on the pillow. “What time is it,” he mumbled incoherently, and Will bounced towards the bed, kneeling down and gently stroking Nico’s hair.

“It’s six am, I just got back from a two hour jog.”

“Oh my gods,” Nico grumbled, pulling the covers over his face, “it’s too early, Will, come back to bed!”

“But I’m already awake!”

“And I didn’t fall asleep until half three, get back into bed so we can cuddle, you’re warm and I’m tired.”

“Sorry, Neeks,” Will said softly, “but I have an early shift at the hospital and I need to be there in an hour, but I’m off work tomorrow, so, we’ll stay up late with a movie and fall asleep together and I’ll stay in bed to cuddle until you wake up, and then I’ll do you breakfast in bed and we can cuddle some more and do whatever you want. We can take a bubble bath together with some candles and massage oils, just spend some time relaxing and pampering each other. Although maybe the candles shouldn’t be on the side of the bath in case the water knocks them down again.”

“Goodnight,” Nico groaned, and Will laughed softly, melodically, pressing a lingering kiss to Nico’s forehead.

“You go back to sleep, call if you need me, okay? I love you.”

“Love you too,” Nico murmured, burying his face into Will’s pillow.

7. Who Makes The Bed

“Nico,” Will murmured, and Nico groaned from underneath his blanket mound.

“What?”

“You stole all the blankets and I’m cold.”

“Here,” Nico mumbled, throwing one of his blankets to Will.

“Nico, there’s popcorn stuck to this,” Will grimaced. Nico whined tiredly. “We haven’t had popcorn since last month.

“Don’t care,” Nico protested tiredly.

“You need to make the bed.”

“You need to make the bed,” Nico retorted.

“I do!” Will protested, sitting up. Nico whined in protest at the shift, sitting up besides Will with a tired groan, his face in his hands.

“When?”

“I changed the sheets just a few days ago!” Will protested

“Not according to the popcorn,” Nico grumbled.

“Have we cleaned anything recently?”

“I ate the cereal out of the box this morning when I couldn’t sleep because we have no clean bowls.”

“I have no idea how to make the bed,” Will confessed, and Nico squinted at him through tired eyes.

“Neither do I.”

“Maybe we should have learned this before moving in together.”

“Mhm,” Nico mumbled in agreement, diving back under the blankets, “I’ll get the ghosts to do it.”

“What ghosts?”

“Never mind.”

“Nico, what ghosts?”

“Goodnight, W    ill.”

“Nico, I’m scared.”

“Then cuddle me.”

8. Who Makes The Coffee

Nico threw himself into one of the dining room chairs, his hair sticking up in all manner of directions, tangled and generally looking like a bird’s nest. He groaned loudly, flopping his head onto the table with a thud and another groan. “Morning, sunshine!” Will grinned, and Nico looked up just long enough to hiss in pain as his eyes were assaulted with neon yellow spandex. Nico whined agonisingly in response, realising that the table was suddenly very comfortable indeed, closing his eyes. He heard the sound of Will getting the mugs out of the cupboard and the kettle being put on to boil.

“Coffee?” he asked hopefully, and Will laughed softly.

“I know it won’t wake you up much, but it is chilly and it’ll warm you up.”

“If I have coffee, I might go back to sleep.”

“Usually I’d say yes you should, but you slept a solid ten hours, that’s oversleeping, that’s why you’re so sleepy. So, once you’ve had your coffee and you’re comfortable but you’ve had the time to wake up a little, we’re just gonna have a lazy day and we’re gonna cuddle on the sofa.” Nico mumbled in appreciation, drifting off a little until he heard Will gently place the mug of coffee by him on the table. “Wake up, sleepy head,” Will said softly, running his fingers through Nico’s hair. Nico lifted his head up and pressed his lips to Will’s in a slow, lazy kiss, smiling in appreciation of the coffee.

9. Who Burns Breakfast

Nico woke to the sound of the fire alarm ringing in his ears. He grumbled rolling out of bed and almost falling back asleep on the floor, slowly trudging downstairs to an all-too-familar sight: Will at the stove and smoke everywhere. Nico coughed, opening the windows and wetting a cloth under the sink, holding it over his mouth and nose to avoid the smoke. He wet another and handed it to Will. “What did you do this time?”

“I tried to make toast.”

“Why is there a frying pan on the stove?”

“To make the toast.”

“For Hades’s sake Will, there’s a toaster.”

“I just put the bread in the pan dry and then it stuck and started to burn and I don’t know how but it caught on fire and then the bread turned to ashes and the fire’s just embers.” Nico sighed, picking up the broomstick they used to turn the smoke alarm off, leading Will to the living room.

“I appreciate you trying Will, but I’d very much like to live without you burning the house, so leave breakfast to me until you learn how to cook. Let’s eat dry ramen noodles instead. For future reference, you put the bread in the toaster and push the lever down and when it pops up you wait a few seconds for it to cool, put it on a plate, then spread the butter. Okay?”

10. How Do They Let Each Other Know They’re Leaving The House?

“Nico,” Will called softly, kneeling by the bed, and Nico groaned loudly from beneath the covers. “Nico babe, I’m popping to the shops, I’ll be back in half an hour okay? I’ve left the TV on for you, and I washed your favourite blanket last night, it’s time to wake up now, so why don’t you go downstairs. If you fall asleep on the couch I’ll wake you when I get back okay?” Will kissed the top of his head and Nico mumbled in response, and Will left for work

---

“WILL!”

“WHAT?”

“WILL!”

“WHAT?!”

“WILL!”

“I’M IN THE SHOWER, ASSHOLE!”

“I’M GOING TO MCDONALDS YOU FUCKNUGGET, DO YOU WANT ANYTHING?”

“FRIES, NOW FUCK OFF!”

“YOU FUCK OFF!”

“JUST FUCK OFF AND BRING ME BACK MY FRIES!”

11. How Do They Greet Each Other When One Of Them Gets Home?

“I’m back!” Will called, locking the door behind him and pulling off his coat, catching his breath. Then the smell of dinner hit him, and he’d never been more hungry. He took his shoes off and scrambled to the kitchen, where Nico was just pulling a lasagne out of the oven.

“Go get changed into your pyjamas,” Nico said, “I’ll dish up, just go.” Will smiled softly and quickly kissed Nico’s cheek, making his way upstairs to change into his cotton pyjamas. He put his most comfortable slippers on and made his way back downstairs, where Nico had lit some candles and sprinkled a few rose petals on the table. Will blushed as Nico pulled out his chair for him, placing his plate in front of him. “After a double shift you deserve a nice romantic night. Once you’ve eaten, I’ll run you a bubble bath, with all those essential oils and bath bombs you like so much, then I’ll give you a massage to work all that tension out.”

“Aww, Nico,” Will smiled smittenly, “this is so romantic and sweet of you! But I think I’ll be too tired to give you anything in return…”

“It doesn’t matter,” Nico said softly, “you’ve had a long day, I don’t expect anything tonight. I just wanna pamper you and take care of you. We can just cuddle together. Wanna talk about your day? When you called me at lunch I figured you sounded stressed, and I’d like to hear about it.”

“I lost a patient,” Will admitted, slowly eating his lasagne. It tasted amazing, comforting, and Will found himself feeling open and honest. “I know it wasn’t my fault, they had end stage lung cancer, but I cried a little.”

“Hey,” Nico said gently, reaching across the table to take Will’s hand, and Will put his fork down, sobbing into his hand. “Hey, come here,” Nico soothed, standing up and making his way over to Will, gently hugging him, “I know you did everything you could to help, and I know you made their last few minutes comfortable and calming. It’s gonna be okay, Will, just cry it all out.”

---

“WILL I’M BACK!” Nico shouted, and Will skidded to the door, tackling Nico in a flying hug. Nico laughed, backing into the wall for balance. “It’s nice to see you too, Will.”

“A whole day,” Will said against his shoulder, “I missed you. Bed was cold without you. Couldn’t sleep. I tried to watch a horror movie to remind me of you but I just got spooked without you.”

“I’m back now,” Nico smiled, hugging back tightly. Will hummed contentedly, inhaling Nico’s scent and lightly nibbling the flesh of his neck. Nico sighed blissfully, guiding Will’s chin up and gently kissing him. Will pressed Nico closer to the wall, kissing him slowly.

“I missed you,” Will said again.

“And I missed you too,” Nico smiled, playing with the curls at the nape of Will’s neck. Will kissed him again, letting it linger for a little longer until Nico pulled away. “Let me get showered and changed before you get all clingy with me, okay?”

“What? Sorry, I didn’t hear the part after the part where you’re getting naked.”

“Will,” Nico chuckled, “ I was gone a day, do you know how adorable you are when you get all needy?”

“I missed you,” Will protested, hugging Nico again. Nico sighed, smiling softly.

“I love you too but I smell of brimstone and blood, I smell gross, let me get clean and changed into something comfortable and then I’m all yours for the night.”

12. Who Brings Home Little Gifts Like Flowers/ Chocolates More Often?

“What’s this,” Will asked curiously.

“Open it,” Nico said with a small smile. Will looked at him curiously, and opened the small box. It was empty, so Will picked it up, frowning, examining the velvet box.

“Nico, there’s nothing insi…” Will cut himself off the moment he looked to wear Nico had been standing, because he was down on one knee with a ring in his hand. “Oh my gods…”

“I know I don’t get you much, because I don’t exactly have a paid job, and I know you’re always getting me little gifts all the time and bringing me back cool bones you find in your run through the forests, and I love the way you try and always fail to cook for me and you get all pouty and sad because you just want to make me happy, and I wanted to make you see just how happy you make me, Will. I want you to have my mother’s ring, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. So William Solace, will you be my husband now and forever? Will you marry me?”

“Oh my gods, Nico,” Will gasped, “yes, of course! Oh my gods… I love you!”

“I love you too,” Nico replied with a smile, placing the ring on Will’s finger, “speaking of you love me, I’m stuck and I can’t get back up off the floor, help me.” Will giggled, carefully helping Nico up off the floor and pulling him into a hug.

“It’s funny,” Will smiled, “because I just went out and brought a ring for you too. I was gonna propose during dinner.”

“Oh my gods,” Nico grinned, laughing softly, and Will pulled the ring from his pocket. “Yes,” Nico smiled, letting Will place it on his finger and leaning up to give him a slow, loving kiss. Both men were crying a little but hey, who wouldn’t?

13. Who Picks The Movie For Movie Night?

“What are we watching?” Will asked, settling with his feet up and a bowl of popcorn on his stomach. Nico held up two DVDs and Will shook his head. Nico sighed, digging through the box and holding up two more. Will made a noise of consideration before shaking his head again. The process repeated until Will had picked a pile of ten movies. Nico sorted through them, picking out three of them.

“I like these,” Nico said, and Will cocked his head to the side in consideration.

“Eh… I’m not sure…”

“Will,” Nico groaned, “it’s been twenty minutes and you’ve already ate half of the popcorn to yourself!”

“Wait, this was meant to share?”

“Yeah,” Nico huffed, sorting through the pile of movies and holding one up. “This?”

“Perfect,” Will smiled, and Nico set up the DVD, before finally joining Will on the sofa and curling into his side. He smiled sweetly, kissing Will, who let go of the popcorn to hold Nico comfortably. With a small snicker, Nico stole the bowl of popcorn and sat on the floor, hunched over it like a gremlin and shovelling it into his mouth. “Hey!” Will protested, and Nico almost choked laughing. Will dove onto the carpet, attempting to grab the bowl back off Nico, who threw a piece at Will’s head. Instead of watching the film, the great popcorn war of 2019 ensued. 

14. Their Favourite Kind Of Movie To Watch

Will screamed, grabbing Nico’s arm and pressing himself loser to Nico, almost crushing him. “Will,” Nico protested, wrestling him slightly to get them comfortable and readjust the blanket, “that was the funny part!”

“Nico, his guts are all over the floor!”

“I know,” Nico chuckled, “the circular saw just cut right through him! Gutted like a fish! Did you see the blood spray all over the nurse’s face?”

“You’re twisted!” Will replied, settling back into his side and stress eating chocolate, “why do I agree to watch these again?”

“Because you like the cuddles,” Nico replied, “and the kisses afterwards when you’re hopped up on adrenaline-” Nico burst out laughing as Will heard a scream and chopping noises.

“Oh my gods,” Will cringed, “I know I like horror and gore, but I’m not even sure this is legal!”

“It’s not,” Nico replied, “only in Russia.”

“Nico, I’m scarred for life.”

“I won’t let anyone murder you like that, Will,” Nico reassured, “that’s my job.”

“I’m scared,” Will whined, “turn it off.” Nico sighed, turning it off and turning to Will, cupping his face in his hands.

“I am so, so sorry,” Nico began gently, “I didn’t realise it would distress you so much otherwise I would not have put it on for you. Are you okay?”

“I need a hug,” Will whimpered, and Nico immediately wrapped him in his arms.

“No more illegal films, I promise. Only regular horror, because you like watching that more than I do.”

“Yeah,” Will agreed, and Nico rubbed soothing circles on his back.

“We’ll sleep with the lights on,” Nico soothed, kissing the top of Will’s head. “Hey, you’re shaking.”

“I’ll be okay,” Will replied, “just keep holding me and I’ll be okay. You make me feel safe, Nico.”

“Hey, I’m not going anywhere,” Nico reassured, rocking them slightly, “I’m right here. I’ve got you. Next time we watch Dracula, you love that.”

“Yeah, it’s my favourite,” Will replied, burying his face in Nico’s chest.

15. Who First Suggests A Pillow Fort?

,”Will,” Nico began as Will piled yet another freshly washed and dried blanket into Nico’s arms, “can we built a nest with these?”

“A nest?” Will questioned, the corner of his mouth jumping up.

“Like a blanket fort, but a permanent one, with loads of cushions. Most of these blankets are old and we have new ones, and it would be really romantic to sit in there. We can decorate it with fairy lights and we can watch Netflix in there or make out! Please?”

“Nico, I am an overgrown child, I am never gonna turn down the opportunity to make a blanket fort! Never! I could be fifty and I will still want a blanket fort!” Nico giggled, and Will grinned mischievously. “I got a load of unused cushions in the closet we can use for the floor, and I have lots of soft pillows too.”

“Have I told you how much I love you lately? Because I really love you.”

“I love you too, little boo,” Will replied, and Nico blushed at the nickname and smiled.

16. Who Builds The Pillow Fort?

Needs to be higher,” Nico said, and Will secured the bungee cord to the hook on the wall. “That’s about right,” he said, and Will looked at the frame and nodded.

“Now for the floor,” Will said, and he and Nico began to lay out pillows, piling them up until they had a soft floor, laying a blanket over it. Nico sat in the middle, looking up at the frame, and Will checked the feel of the frame to make sure it wouldn’t collapse. It could handle enough pressure, so Will started with the blanket walls that were against the wall, tying the ends to the chord and making sure the bottom was tucked in under the floor, sewing to the frame once he was satisfied with the positioning.

Nico looked at the pile of blankets still left, and Will stepped back to analyse the frame. They’d used bungee chords and thick strips of cut up denim to make a frame sturdy enough for a permanent blanket fort. Will carefully placed the first blanket underneath, tying and sewing it to the frame so it draped from the centre outwards, but not too low. Nico looked up, poking it and tugging it lightly, and Will set out on putting the third side on. He carefully tied and sewed it like before, and Nico was almost inclined to go to sleep, quite enjoying his minimal contributions despite it being his idea.

Next came the front of the fort, which was more tricky and Nico had to help position them so that they could be tied back like curtains and pulled shut. Nico had to hold everything in place whilst Will secured it, and then there was only the top blanket to go. Will had even gone to the length of installing a hook to the ceiling, to suspend the top blanket from and make it into a point at the top. Once it was secured to the bungee chord, it didn’t take long for Will to sew it to the frame. He stepped back to the door to admire his handiwork- it was right in the corner next to the window, the third blanket wall facing into the room and the entrance facing the sofa barely a foot away- it seemed nice and private. Nico was already hooking up all the fairy lights and arranging the cushions by the time Will crawled in- and it was a lot bigger than he thought.

“This is so cosy,” Nico commented, leaning against the wall with popcorn, his laptop on the pillow floor. It was really soft to sit.

“It’s so private in here, so intimate,” Will commented, and Nico smiled, putting the popcorn and laptop aside in favour of kissing Will.

“I can’t believe we’re grown adults and we made a pillow fort,” Nico commented between kisses, laying down and pulling Will to lay beside him.

“Worth it though,” Will replied with a smile, cuddling into Nico, “our own little escape, a private corner for us to hide and relax and have fun.” Nico giggled softly, melting into the lazy cuddles and kisses Will was eager to offer.

17. Who Tries To Distract The Other During A Movie.

“Nico, stop that,” Will said absently, picking up another handful of popcorn, eyes transfixed to the screen. Nico doubled his attention seeking efforts by prodding Will in the ribs. “Nico, I’m watching this.” Nico snickered, poking him in the ribs again, but Will simply ignored him, so Nico upped his game and started tickling Will.

Will shrieked, pushing Nico’s freezing hands away, and Nico laughed, moving his hands up Will’s shirt to tickle his bare skin. Will whined in protest and squirmed, unable to stop the stream of laughter that followed. He playfully wrestled Nico, putting him in a headlock, and Nico tried to twist, his foot somehow ending up by Will’s ear. They ended up in fits of giggles, just collapsing onto each other with uncontrollable laughter. They shared soft kisses and light touches, still tickling each other and laughing between kisses, enjoying the feeling of being young again, being childish again, because after a long week of serious adulting, it felt good to unwind.

---

It started out with Will lightly tracing his finger on the back of Nico’s hand, which tickled, but didn’t stop Nico from concentrating on the movie. Then Will’s fingers started to trace patterns up and down his arm, enough to give him goose bumps and shiver a few times, but Nico had decided this was now a game of chicken and he was not gonna back down. As a result of Nico ignoring Will, Will only tried harder to distract Nico, and by the time Will was kneading his thigh and nibbling his earlobe, Nico was finding it difficult to hold back a soft moan. Will giggled, reaching over to turn the film off, giggling triumphantly when Nico wrapped his arms around Will, sighing happily as Will kissed down his neck. “What about the film, Will,” Nico protested, although he didn’t care about the film anymore, not when Will took his bottom lip between his teeth, tugging on it. Nico whined, whimpering when Will swiped his tongue across Nico’s lips. “I can’t believe you distracted me so easily, Will,” Nico huffed, and Will giggled against his lips. Nico figured they could watch the film another day- Will was in a good mood and Nico fully intended to make the most of it. After all, time spent with a busy husband who spent so long was work was precious, and intimate moments full of love and passion of any kind were always going to be so much better than any horror film anyway. Especially after Will had completed a week of double shifts and night shifts and Nico had been busy in the underworld when Will was home. Nico figured they had to make up for lost time, and he certainly didn’t mind missing the film in favour of a little fun.

18. Who Falls Asleep First

Nico was, through lack of a better word, one heck of a sleepy boy. He stayed up late, often had nightmares and interrupted sleep, so most evenings they didn’t even make it to the bedroom before Nico would get so comfortable he ended up drifting off to sleep. Even at mealtimes Nico had been known to yawn and rest his head on the table, and start snoring gently, with his cheek pressed into the table, barely on the chair. Nico fell asleep almost every time they settled in front of the TV for the evening, with the fireplace heating the room gently and fluffy socks, in one of Will’s hoodies that was more like a tent for Nico and comfortable cotton pyjamas, Nico would always fall asleep pressed into Will’s side and gathered up in his arms, and Will would gently braid Nico’s hair for him.

But today was different. After being left to his own devices to wake himself up in the morning when Will had been called into work early because of a road traffic collision, Nico had decided it a good idea to sleep in until five pm. So by midnight, Will was getting sleepy, and Nico wasn’t even twelve hours into his day. Will was very clearly fighting his sleepiness, but he kept nodding off and squinting and blinking at the TV, yawning every few seconds, until finally, he was lulled into a peaceful slumber, laying over Nico like a lizard on a rock, crushing him. Nico didn’t mind too much, gently braiding Will’s hair. He was rather cute like this, Nico thought.

19. Who Is Big Spoon/ Little Spoon

“I’m cold,” Nico whined, pressing closer to Will’s side. Will laughed lightly, rubbing his hand up and down Nico’s arm.

“Then maybe you should put your pants on,” Will suggested.

“Maybe I don’t wanna put my pants on,” Nico protested, leaning over Will and over the side of the bed, retrieving Will’s hoodie up off the floor and pulling it over his head. Will laughed softly as Nico nestled back under the covers. Nico rested his head on Will’s chest, resting his hand over his belly and pushing his leg in between Will’s thighs. Will wrapped his arm around Nico, resting it on his waist, kissing the top of his head and holding him close. Nico hummed contentedly, staying in that position for a while, until he realised it wasn’t very comfortable and rolled over. Will immediately curled around him, pulling him closer until their backs were pressed together. He buried his face between Nico’s shoulder blades, and Nico intertwined his fingers with Will’s.

“Goodnight, Nico,” Will said softly, and Nico whined tiredly in response. Will pressed a gentle kiss into his shoulder, and Nico lifted his head up. Will laid his arm across Nico’s pillow, and Nico rested his head on Will’s arm, adjusting slightly to press more tightly into the heat of Will’s bare chest.

“You’re really warm,” Nico mumbled, and Will squeezed Nico’s hand.

“I love you, Nico.”

“I love you too, Will.”

---

Waking up with sunrise was never pleasant for Will- he always energised quickly, barely able to get back to sleep. He shifted slightly, realising he was right by the edge of the bed and trapped in place. Nico’s leg was wrapped around his waist, Nico’s foot pressing into the front of Will’s thigh. Nico’s arm was slung over his shoulder lazily, and Nico’s face was buried into the nape of his neck, his soft breaths tickling him slightly, holding him protectively. It seemed the human backpack would not be letting Will out of bed, but Will didn’t mind. He pulled Nico’s arm under his own arm, tangling their fingers together like they always did. It wasn’t very often that they were able to cuddle in the night. In fact, there was a second bed in the room, because Nico was prone to night terrors from PTSD, and sometimes he thrashed around a lot in his sleep, so cuddling like this was a luxury Will intended to make the most of. He was glad Nico seemed to have a restful sleep, so he let himself relax, remembering all the sweet nothings and giggles and surprises of the night before. He craned his neck, content to see Nico still wearing his hoodie. Will reached down to the floor to pull his phone from his jeans pocket- he had an email from the hospital, but it was only a reminder of the new junior doctors who would be coming in. Will was a registrar, training to be a consultant. Nico shifted slightly, his heel jamming into a rather painful place. Will hissed and groaned in pain, removing Nico’s foot from around him and cradling the damaged goods, but Nico just threw his leg back over Will’s waist, this time jamming his foot right into Will’s bladder.

“Nico,” Will called, and Nico whined in protest at being woken up. “Nico, I have to pee, can you let go?”

“Five more minutes,” Nico protested, pulling him closer and nestling into his back.

“Your foot is on my bladder.” Nico whined, reluctantly detangling himself from Will, pulling him to face him so he could kiss him good morning.

“Leave the bathroom light on and make me a coffee,” Nico mumbled, and Will smiled softly, looking for his boxers on the floor.

“Of course,” Will replied, before looking at how tiny and adorable and warm Nico looked in Will’s grey hoodie. “Oh, and you can keep my hoodie. You look adorable,” he said, smiling to himself as Nico blushed.

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[bleedingthirium]

Everything I Love Becomes Everything I’ve Lost (Reed900)

Title: Everything I Love becomes everything I’ve Lost. Words: 2740 Genre: Angst. Hurt-Comfort. Grief. Characters: Reed900 Warnings: Death of pet and litter. Authors Note: Not sure why I wrote this. Just wanted Gavin to suffer like the sadistic lil shit I am. Who doesn’t love a quietly supportive and comforting Nines? No one? Just me then? Okay, I’ll yeet myself out. Also, sorry if its all out of character.

 It was funny, no, horrible, how someone can lose so much within the space of just a few hours, and almost lose themselves in the process. Nines witnessed it happen to Gavin. 

At the beginning, Nines was only meant to be there to watch what is considered the most beautiful humanitarian act on the planet; giving birth to life.

The cat Gavin rescued 2-3 months ago had been abandoned because it was pregnant and the owners couldn’t deal with more cats. Gavin took the Mama Cat in, literally renaming her ‘Mama’ and had told Nines about her. Nines seemed curious about the pregnancy and how it excited Gavin, and as something similar to an educational experience in the role of humanity, Gavin offered for Nines to watch the birth. 

Being on call wasn’t new to Nines, however, he couldn’t deny the very vague mix of nervousness and excitement that lingered in his system at awaiting the phone call any moment. 9:23pm, Nines received the call from Gavin, who had barely managed to form a structured sentence as he breathed out in a singular incoherent sentence, “She’sherethey’recominggetyourassoverherenow!” It was lucky that Nines was fluent in the language of Gavin Reed; able to decipher when the man was being sarcastic, covering up emotions or when his brain was working faster than his mouth – such as this particular instance. Arriving at Gavin’s 15 minutes later due to roadworks hindering him from arriving earlier, he expected to be greeted by an excited Gavin. However when he knocked on the door, it flung upon to see a panicked Gavin on the phone to someone. Gavin walked away from the door, focusing on the conversation on the other end of the phone while Nines stepped in. Immediately those cold, calculating blue eyes of his began to scan the room – blood, towels, half-full bowl of water tinged pink, and a cat loudly panting and mewling. Nines LED began to swirl to a bright yellow. Something didn’t feel right. His attention was brought to the conversation Gavin was having, and he noted how Gavin held the phone tightly to his ear as though he feared he’d miss a single word from what was being said. “Yes… about two hours… No, no…no… There’s blood…A lot…Okay, yep…yep… Okay, okay, thank you. Bye.” Gavin dropped to his knees with a curse (“Phk!”) that held heavier emotions that even Nines wasn’t used to dealing with from the Detective. “Detective Reed? What’s the problem?” Nines inquired, slowly stepping over to where Gavin was crouched on the floor with Mama. “Gavin?” Nines voice dropped to a more gentler tone as he knelt down on one knee beside Gavin. Gavin’s shoulders hunched over, phone slipped from his fingers as he sat helplessly by Mama’s side, unable to do much more but physically be there for her. Nines opened his mouth to try and gain the Detective’s “She’s uh… she’s not gonna make it. Four kittens were stillborn. She’s struggling to push the last one out.” “Is there anything I can do to help?” Nines asked, a hand reached out to place upon Gavin’s shoulder in physical reassurance but his original program conflicted with his newly found deviancy and he retracted his hand back to himself before Gavin saw the odd gesture. Gavin was silent. He knew if he spoke, he would break down. He had been fighting that panic in his chest since the beginning, the panic caused an intense fluttering which he knew if he opened his mouth, his chest would constrict tightly and instead of words forming, it would be god knows what kind of sound he was currently pushing down. A shaky breath in that did not go unnoticed by Nines, Gavin tried his best to keep it steady, “There’s uh… the kittens…in…in the….kitch…the table…Can you just, can you just…” Fuck. How to explain to a fucking android how to take care of the deceased as though they need a comfortable place to lay when it was a comfort to Gavin’s soul knowing they’re resting comfortably. “…wrap them up nicely or something?” “Of course.” Nines LED still swirled yellow, but not out of incompetence at the request given, but at Gavin’s levels of emotions. He was distraught but wasn’t showing it. However, if this small request would help ease Gavin’s internal struggle with his emotions, Nines was more than happy to oblige. He found the deceased kittens wrapped up loosely in a blanket, no doubt in a rush with everything being handled by one person, so Nines began looking for something more suitable to place them in. He found a small empty box and lined it with some tea-towels before placing each individual kitten in the box, next to each other, and then placing a final tea-towel over the kittens. Nines made a mental note to replace Gavin’s tea-towels since they were the only linen available that would fit in the box. Nines came back and quietly knelt down beside Gavin. He swore he felt Gavin lean just a centimeter or two towards Nines but he didn’t overanalyze anymore than this situation being out of the emotional norm for Gavin. “This wasn’t how tonight was supposed to go.” Gavin mumbled as he stroked Mama’s forehead, trying to offer any type of reassurance he could to the cat who was quickly becoming exhausted. She was refusing water, even milk. She hadn’t had any liquids since Gavin got home. The veterinarian he was on the phone to earlier had said that it sounded like her organs were shutting down. They needed to get the last kitten out, even then, the chances of survival were slim. “This was not something you had any control over, Detective.” “I should have stayed home. Maybe seen that something was wrong earlier. I could’ve taken her to the vets. I could’ve done more than just sitting here waiting for her to fucking die.” Nines remained quiet. He could throw facts and statistics at Gavin, but the Detective would likely refuse to take them into consideration and would probably further upset Gavin, which was something he had no desire to do. Silence past by for a moments longer until Nines broke it with another question, “Is there anything else you’d like me to do?” As with every question he’s asked, he’s met with a moment’s silence before Gavin finally whispered one request. “Stay?” Nines watched as Gavin’s head dropped down in defeat before bloodshot eyes lifted to actually see Nines for the first time since opening the front door to him. “Please?” In all the history of ever knowing Gavin, Nines has never ever heard him use the word ‘please’.  If this didn’t send software instability errors his way, he didn’t know what will. “Of course, Detective.” Nines firmly stated, being the rock of reassurance that Gavin needed even though this was completely out of his depth of emotional response to this type of situation. He would have suggested calling Lieutenant Anderson over despite the Lieutenant owning a dog, he might still have far more of an insight to animal companions than Nines did. However, there were several factors to take into consideration, 1. Lieutenant Anderson was drinking himself into a stupor and would be of no help to them whatsoever. 2. There was a risk that Lieutenant Anderson would say the wrong thing and further upset Gavin. The night quietly dragged on. Nines fetching whatever Gavin needed without question or hesitation. The only sounds were the distressed mewling coming from Mama, and Gavin softly cooing to her, gently trying to hush her with reassurances. The mewling’s became louder and more distressed as the final kitten arrived and Mama took her last breath. “No.” Gavin’s whispered plea went ignored by whatever high power was out there as Mama Cat passed away from the blood loss and organ failure. However, the squeaky cry of a newborn kitten pulled Gavin out of his grief as he quickly scooped up the tiny being. Nines sprang into action as he grabbed the syringe that was filled with formula for the surviving kitten in place of its mothers milk, passing it over to Gavin who had the kitten wrapped in the last tea-towel he had (courtesy of Nines retrieving it earlier), Nines placed a towel over Mama in respect as Gavin tended to the kitten; who was the current priority despite all the tragedy that occurred. Not much transpired between Nines and Gavin. Gavin was more focused on the surviving kitten than anything, Nines was just the grounding support Gavin needed. Because, honestly, if Nines wasn’t here, Gavin wouldn’t have kept himself together as well as he did. For now, Nines sat down and watched in curiosity as Gavin attentively helped the kitten. He tried to coax it with the syringe to give it the nutrients it needs, he comforted the squeaky little cries, immediately hushing them with the softness of his voice. It’s amazing what a complete douche-head he is at the Precinct, yet he’s soft as a plush teddy bear right now. No doubt if anyone dared even breathe the wrong way towards the kitten, they’d find themselves staring down the barrel of a gun drawn by Gavin.

“What’s the matter?” Nines suddenly asked as he noticed Gavin frantically began looking around for something. “My phone. I can’t find it.” Nines had moved it from where Gavin had dropped it on the floor, to rest it upon the coffee table. Reaching over, Nines handed the phone over and he saw the distress resting back on Gavin’s features. “What is it Detective?” “She’s not eating anything.” Gavin said, holding the toweled bundle closer to his chest in protectiveness as his other hand was preoccupied in find the veterinarian’s number, luckily there was an afterhours number he could call for emergencies; it was the same number he called earlier when Nines showed up on his front door. Nines stood helplessly by as Gavin was frantic on the phone, the veterinarian managed to calm him down but Gavin steel repeated a few questions in hopes that something would change. “Fuck!” Nines LED flickered to red at the violent response as Gavin threw his phone in the corner, almost shattering the screen entirely. “Is there nothing more we can do for her?” Nines enquired, his LED spinning back down to yellow. “…No…Phk! Why is this happening?!” Nines didn’t have a logical answer to provide Gavin with, at least, none that would be comforting enough to the Detective. The next few hours wore on. Gavin switched between sitting down and trying to coax the kitten into taking some of the formula, to standing up and slowly pacing around the room, gently cooing to the small being that was still protectively wrapped up in a bundle. Nines offered to take over, give Gavin a break, but the Detective refused. It wasn’t until 6:30am, where the sky outside the window began lighting up and Gavin moved to stand by it, watching the sun rise. Nines eyes snapped up from staring at the table trying to figure out a way to entice the kitten to eat to beat the low survival percentile, when Gavin’s voice began a quiet melody. He swayed ever so softly with the kitten huddled close to his chest, softly singing an old song, “Here comes the sun, doo doo doo doo Here comes the sun, and I say …It’s alright.” And then he stopped swaying. He stopped singing. Nines quietly unfolded his legs that had been crossed over, and stood up, eyes trained on Gavin who hadn’t made a single move or sound. He slowly and quietly made his way over to the Detective and stood by him. He didn’t say a word as Gavin pulled the kitten from his chest, not saying a word but his quiet volumes spoke loudly to Nines. Slender fingers brushed over Gavin’s as he took the now deceased kitten from Gavin, allowing Gavin the time he needed to fully let go. A quick glance up at Gavin’s face allowed Nines to observe him momentarily. Gavin was broken. He was also the type that didn’t handle his emotions well. Especially when they were too raw for him to be able to hide behind his asshole sense of humor. So, when Nines finally held the bundle of towel with his own two hands, the breathy gasp emitted from Gavin didn’t escape Nines’ attention. “I’ll put her with her brothers.” Nines said quietly as he walked away to do just that. Gavin stood there; arms dropped to his sides as he glanced around the dimly lit room. It was quiet. Too quiet. No cats mewling, no cats walking around his ankles causing him to trip over into an unceremonious heap… within the space of a few hours, everything had been ripped from him. Torn from him. What did he do to deserve this?! Why him? Why!? Better yet, why did the universe decide to take Mama?! The pregnant cat, abandoned by her owners for bringing life into this world!? Why punish her!? And the innocent kittens who clearly weren’t even given a goddamn chance!? WHY!? “FUCK!!” The cry ripped through the deadly silence, yanking Nines back to reality as he just finished tucking the towel-come-makeshift-blanket around the last kitten. He strode back into the living room to see Gavin crouched in the middle of the living room, fists gripping his hair as his lungs struggled to breathe against the painful twist of the knife that seemed to enjoy repeatedly stabbing him in the heart where it hurts. LED flashing a dangerous red, Nines quickly found himself kneeling down on the ground once more, this time, in front of Gavin. Two strong hands wrapped themselves around the two fists that were gripping the head of brown hair. A sob tore from Gavin’s lips as he allowed Nines to pull his hands away. It was a heartbreaking scene that unfolded right before Nines’ eyes; it was something he never wanted to witness. The whimper that tore from Gavin before he screamed in such emotional agony that Nines stress levels peaked. A slender hand found the back of Gavin’s head and he pulled the Detective into his shoulder, the other hand holding Gavin protectively around the back of his shoulders. Body trembled beneath his embrace but it wasn’t rejected. Instead, Gavin’s hands swapped from gripping his own hair to gripping the front of Nines’ white jacket. His face buried in his shoulder after scream after scream of grief-filled pain spilled from his lips. Despite it being muffled against the material, it was still a sound Nines never wanted to hear. Nines barely spoke a word since first arriving at Gavin’s but he figured his colder tone was something Gavin didn’t need right now, nor his inept response to providing the correct source of verbal comfort in situations like this. Eventually, those screams had quietened down to sobs that violently engulfed Gavin’s body, but Nines continued to hold onto him since Gavin had no intention of letting him go. Nines is still understanding a lot of things, but he knew how important Mama was to Gavin. The day Gavin rescued Mama, he told Nines all about her and continued to update Nines on the progress Mama was making… “It wasn’t supposed to end like this.” “I know.” “It’s not fair.” “… I know.” Nines' voice had softened a great deal to the point where it was barely recognizable as Nines. However, his hold on Gavin still remained. Fingers cupped the back of Gavin’s head, lacing his fingers through the brown locks as he continued to hold Gavin for as long as he needed the physical comfort. Nines had to admit, even he wasn’t prepared for the turn of events tonight. He wasn’t even prepared to see Gavin in such emotional distress. In fact, he never took it into consideration whether the Detective could even be broken like that. “Stay. Please? God, just stay. Don’t… Don’t leave. Don’t fucking leave me too.” “I had no intention of leaving.” Gavin had lost a lot within the past few hours. Nines had no intention of leaving him alone. He had fully intended to stay until Gavin was alright. If that took hours, days, weeks even… Feeling Gavin shift slightly beneath him, ever so slightly relaxing against Nines’ frame, Nines’ slender fingers gripped Gavin just a little bit more protectively. He'll stay.  

#reed900 imagine #reed900 oneshot #reed900 one shot #dbh reed900 #detroit become human reed900 #Gavin Reed x Nines #DBH Gavin Reed x Nines #gavin reed x rk900 #DBH Gavin Reed x RK900 #Detroit Become Human Gavin Reed x RK900 #DBH RK900 #DBH Gavin Reed #Gavin Reed Hurt Comfort #Gavin Reed Angst #RK900 Hurt Comfort #RK900 Angst #Reed900 Hurt Comfort #ReedRK900 Angst #DBH Requests open #Detroit Become Human Requests open

[hellas-himself]

Ch. 5 Together on Christmas

Ch.4 

After the death of his father, Azriel is forced to go back to the one place he swore he’d never return to. But he finds himself quite literally face to face with his past, one that he had not let himself think of since he’d left. 

Ch. 6

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Elain was standing in front of the dresser, looking at a picture taken right before I left. Our parents were sitting together, holding hands, with me and my brothers standing behind them. Rhys was in the middle, an arm around me and Cassian, grinning like the prick he was. Cassian was in the middle of a laugh and I looked about ready to disappear. 

“Bed is ready,” I said and she turned around to where I stood. The throw pillows were on the chest in front of the bed, the comforter folded over to the end. She smiled.

“Are you sure your mom is okay with me staying here?”

“Feyre spent the night way before she married Rhys. It’s fine.”

She laughed. “In his room?”

“God, you don’t want me to answer that.”

“Point taken.”

“So, left or right?” I asked and Elain just laughed and walked right towards me.

“Doesn’t matter.”

She took my hand as she climbed into bed and I went in after her, pulling the blanket over us. We were lying on our backs, looking up at the ceiling.

“Dinner was nice,” she said.

“I hope they didn’t tease you too much.”

“It didn’t bother me.”

“You might have to come help my dad with holiday dinners more often though. We hardly have any leftovers for tomorrow.”

Elain turned so that she was looking at me.

“You’re silly.”

“It’s the truth.”

“Only if you’ll play music again.”

I turned on my side, putting an arm around her and pulling her against me.

“I think we have a deal.”

She smiled. “I think we do.”

*

Elain was asleep, clutching the blanket to her chest. I got out of bed, finding my briefs and pajama pants. Sunrise wasn’t too far off so I didn’t need a light to look through my bag and take out the box my mother had left for me. I took the key out of the envelope, checking on Elain every now and then. But she was still sleeping.

The hinges of the box creaked slightly and I kept my gaze on Elain until it was opened. Inside, I found an envelope addressed to me, a small black box, and a little satchel that had the gold bracelet with the mano de azabache on it. I don’t know why that brought tears to my eyes, I would have worn that as a baby. A toddler. Maybe once my childhood hadn’t been so bad.

There was more money, tied with rubber bands and some pictures of us- one from the day I was born, another on my first birthday. I don’t know who took the picture, but she was holding me up, cake frosting on my face and hers. I saw kids at the table and other adults I’d never met. Were they her family? I’d never gotten to know them. She’d been my father’s maid, at first. Then the nanny. She’d run away from home, I knew that much, and though he had been married, she saw my father as her way out. And somehow, she loved him. But his wife, my half-brothers- they made our lives a living hell. I hated my father for allowing it. It was confusing, to see him with her, holding me, smiling. I never saw him smile, never at me, anyway. I was tempted to rip it in half, but I looked at the next one.

I was in a hospital bed, bandages around my hands. She was in the middle of a story, it seemed, Rhys was half asleep in his mother’s lap and Cassian was listening to her. And according to the note on the back, Rhysand’s dad had taken the picture. There were more… But I didn’t feel like I could look at them. Not yet. So I opened the envelope with my name on it and decided that maybe the pictures were easier than this.

Mi querido hijo, she wrote. Perdoname. Over and over she apologized. For not keeping me safe. For giving me up. For staying with my father. But she had never believed she was capable of giving me the life that Rhysand and Cassian had. She’d known Cassian’s mother, and knew that I would be in good hands. But the apologies continued and then, they stopped. She was proud of me. She missed me every day, she hated that I’d been deployed. Hated that I lived so far away, but knew that I was better off. It hurt. Hurt that she believed I was better off without her. How many times had I begged her to leave with me?

She wrote about Elain, about the things they did together… and about how much Elain talked about me. I see it in her eyes, Lito, she loves you. And I know that you love her. I looked up at where Elain was, still asleep. I couldn’t give you much before, she wrote, but maybe I can give you and Elain a head start.

*

“We’re together on Christmas,” Elain said as she wrapped the towel around herself. The bathroom floor was freezing so I picked her up which made her laugh.

“That we are,” I replied.

“Is everyone really still sleeping?” she asked as I set her down on the bed.

“Yeah… But don’t worry, once Cassian wakes up, so will everyone else.”

I brought her my shirt, and handed off her bag. Her bag had more skin care and make up than actual clothes but I guess I really didn’t mind it. Getting dressed proved to be difficult, but we managed it just in time to hear Cassian banging on Rhysand’s door. Elain answered the door when he started knocking on ours, wearing my shirt, leggings and a pair of fuzzy Christmas socks she’d brought from her apartment.

“How did we sleep?” Cassian asked with a grin, leaning against the doorframe.

“I don’t think I woke up once,” she said and gave him a hug. “Merry Christmas, Cas.”

“Merry Christmas, Elain.” He looked at me. “Put a shirt on or else mom and Nesta will know what you two were doing last night.”

Elain pinched his side for that.

Everyone gathered in the living room, the tree surrounded by presents.

“Who wants to go first?” mom asked, leaning against our dad as he drank his coffee.

“I will,” Cassian said and started tossing presents at everyone from him and Nesta. A new phone for mom, imported cigars for dad as well as a watch, the cheesiest matching pajamas for Rhys and Feyre who would have run off to change in them if I didn’t know that it was taking Feyre a lot of effort not to throw up her breakfast. I wasn’t going to open my gift in front of them but Elain wanted to see. I raised a brow at the gloves and scarf, as nice as they were. Cassian only grinned.

“I had a feeling you’d need them… Considering Illyria is freezing most of the year.”

“What?”

“Emerie told him where you were the moment she saw you driving into town,” Nesta said, giving Cassian a playful shove. I sighed, thanking them even if I wanted to wipe that grin off Cassian’s face.

I’d had my gifts to everyone mailed in as I had not intended on being here until New Year’s… But it was nice to actually see their reactions in person. A gold bracelet for mom with our birthstones on it, a ring made of gold with an obsidian stone for dad. Books for Nesta, a set of watercolor paints for Feyre and a big enough palette to store them in, a Switch for Cassian which made Nesta sigh. He was already taking it out of the box to get it running. “Now he won’t bother you when you’re reading,” Feyre teased which made Nesta smile.

Rhys and Feyre went last, with Rhys handing our parents a box while Feyre had Cassian toss the rest since he was sitting closest to the tree. I purposely took my time opening mine because I knew what was inside. But in typical Rhys fashion, inside the box was another box, and another and another- until our mom was threatening Rhys with her scissors. The rest of us were content to watch them go at it as they did every year. His gifts to her were almost always worth the hassle, and he promised her that this year’s was even better. But he said that every year.

“Coño, be careful!” Rhys shouted as dad went to just rip the whole thing apart- also, a yearly occurrence.

“What is this?” mom asked as she set the other boxes aside and held the semi torn black box in her hands. She lifted the lid and set it aside. Her eyes widened, and it was almost like everything kind of stopped as she looked at Rhys and then at Feyre and back at the box on her lap. She pulled out the little black onesie, the tiny socks… the picture frame with the ultrasound picture Feyre had sent me just days before. I hadn’t seen our dad cry in a long time, but there he was, holding that onesie and crying.

“Vente pa’ca, puñeta,” he said to Rhys, pulling him in for a hug. “Is this real?”

“Yeah, viejo,” he replied. “You’re going to be grandparents.”

Our mother’s words were incoherent as she pulled Rhys out of our dad’s hold and squeezed him tight. Rhys was laughing as tears fell from his eyes.

They got up to go cover Feyre with kisses, my mother already fussing over her. Her sisters hadn’t known and wasted no time in going to congratulate her. Cassian lifted Rhys up and hugged him so hard I was surprised Rhys hadn’t cracked his spine.

“How are you so calm?” Cas asked me. “We’re going to be uncles.”

I was going to say I already knew but Rhys chimed in first.

“You know Az isn’t going to cry in front of us. Especially with Elain here. He has a reputation to uphold.”

I flipped him off and of course mom saw it. Rhys laughed at me but then was quickly silenced by her glare.

*

I watched as Feyre lay back on the sofa, her shirt up as my mom took Nesta’s gold chain and Elain’s ring and held it over Feyre’s belly.

“It’s too early,” dad said but she shushed him.

“It’s never too early.”

“Is it supposed to move?” Feyre asked.

“It’s not moving?” dad practically shouted and went to stand beside Rhys. He looked just as excited as Rhys did. It wasn’t moving at all.

“What does that mean?” Elain inquired.

“That means it’s a boy,” mom replied. “I did it for Rhys. And I was right about Mor.”

“Can I get the knife and the screw driver?” dad asked her and my mom laughed, giving Nesta and Elain their jewelry back.

I got up from where I was sitting and stood beside Elain. I put an arm around her shoulder and smiled when she reached up to lace her fingers with mine.

“Show me your hands,” I said to Feyre who looked at me like I’d just grown a second head. But she sat up and did just that. Palms up, almost in fists. “Boy.”

The room was now filled with shouting, Cassian lifting Rhys off the floor and shaking him.

“Does that really work?” Elain asked me.

I shrugged. “I guess we’ll find out in a few months.”

“I think it’s sweet.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes… It’s something to look forward to.”

We looked at one another and I wondered if she was still talking about Feyre and Rhysand’s baby.

“Yeah, it is,” I replied.

Elain smiled and I decided she was right.

*

Elain and I sat outside on the porch swing. Everyone was inside, already dancing and drinking. Feyre went up to take a nap and I was pretty sure Nesta had gone with her. Elain was leaning into me, her feet barely touching the floor.

“I wish I didn’t have to go back,” she said quietly.

“Do you really have to open back up tomorrow?”

“I’ve never really done this before… Nuala is gone until New Year’s.”

“There’s no one else who could help out while you’re away?”

She shrugged.

“If I find someone to help out, would you stay?”

“But I don’t know anyone who would do that.”

I kissed her forehead. “I do… I’ll be right back.”

“Where are you going?”

“To extend your vacation, what else?”

Rhys didn’t mind being pulled out of the living room. He didn’t even seem surprised at what I was asking. But of course, the prick wouldn’t do it.

“I’m too drunk, Azrielito… Besides, it would mean more coming from you.”

“Give me your phone.”

“Don’t look through my photo album,” he said after he unlocked it and laughed. I sighed, finding who I wanted to call and walked to the sitting room where no one ever spent any time. It was quiet, too quiet.

“Rhys, what do you want? It’s Christmas,” Lucien said, but I knew he was smiling.

“It’s not Rhys.”

A pause and then, “Azriel. What a surprise.”

“I need to ask you for a favor.”

“Really?” I heard him chuckle. I sighed.

“I want Elain to be able to spend the holidays with her sisters without worrying about the diner.”

I heard him tell Vassa he would be right back, heard as it became a little quieter.

“Where is Elain?”

“Sitting outside on the porch at my parents’ house.”

“You convinced Elain to take a break?”

“It would seem that way.”

Lucien let out a long sigh.

“How long?”

“Just until the third. And I will pay them double.”

“That isn’t really necessary.”

“All the same. I can’t have her worrying about anything.”

“It will take a few phone calls, but please tell Elain to enjoy her vacation.”

I sighed with relief. “Thank you, Lucien.”

“And Az?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t let her get away.”

*

Elain was taking shots with our dad when I walked back to the living room. I handed Rhys his phone and made my way to Elain. She giggled, her cheeks rosy pink.

“You kept me waiting.”

“You’re on vacation, Elain Archeron.”

“What?”

“We’ll go back on the third-”

She pulled me by the collar and kissed me, much to everyone else’s amusement. Our dad patted me on the back when Elain let me go and went over to tell her sisters the news.

“I haven’t seen you smile this much… ever,” he said.

“Yeah, I’m not used to it. My face kinda hurts.”

He laughed and threw an arm around my shoulder. Elain was sitting next to our mom who was talking to her and whatever she was saying had Elain blushing.

“You being home is the greatest gift you could’ve given us… Well, you brought your girlfriend and Feyre…” He sighed, already tearing up again. “I can’t even believe it.”

“Christmas only started, viejo,” I said, my eyes on Elain, feeling my heart race. “There’s still time for more surprises.”

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La Mano de Azabache is a black hand on a gold bracelet given to babies to protect them from the evil eye. I had one, my brothers, and every other baby in the family. 

Mi querido hijo means my beloved son and perdoname means forgive me. 

Coño  means dammit lol or sometimes like WHAT THE HELL!! but yeah, lol it’s the same vibe 

Vente pa’ca is the shortened way of say vente para aca which is come here. 

puñeta  is like... asshole, son of a bitch, etc but in Puerto rico we use it as endearment and also like encouragement lol even as a verb. 

I don’t know if anyone else does this but we take any chain, preferably gold, with a ring or other charm on it and if it spins over the belly it’s a girl. if it doesn’t, it’s a boy. it’s ridiculous and I know gender is a social construct but when I was pregnant it was fun to do it with my grandma and aunties. the knife and scew driver is the same idea. you hide them under the sofa and wherever the mom sits, determines the gender. knife girl, screw driver, boy. with the “show me your hands” if you hold them out the way you would at a nail salon (idk how else to describe it) its a girl. if you basically make kind of a fist, palms up with your nails pointing to you, it’s a boy. my grandma did that to me without explaining and she was like GIRL! and the house was in uproar. lol

Happy super late three king’s day! lol 

@dreamerforever-5 @faelightsstarfall

#elriel #elriel holiday au #together on christmas #dia de reyes

[tumblunni]

Okay seriously but dr maddiman's story is SO SAD

His wife literally left him on april fools day!!! And he sat there waiting at the door and crying until midnight just in case it was a joke and she came back

AND THEN HE DIED

And we dont even know WHEN he died! His journals just slowly peter off into nothing after the depressing divorce day. Just "i need to work i need to work" and talking about how he doesnt take care of himself now he has nobody to live for and how he doesnt even remember why he's working anynore but he's scared if he stops working he'll remember that his family left him. And he doesnt know how to cook and he just makes shitty gruel out of whatever was left in the fridge after his wife left and he doesnt ever buy any more groceries and uhh.. Well.. At some point he died. He basically committed suicide by sheer denial. The goddamn diary about being unable to cook trails off into just repeating "tasty gruel" over and over in increasingly gnarled handwriting. And in japanese the word for gruel was a pun on another rather infamous depressing scienceman's last journal in resident evil. So while the dub wrote it out in full sentences instead the original was kinda like... Incoherant rambling of a guy who died mid sentence. Thats what the reference would immediately communicate to anyobe who'd played RE...

And man its just SO SAD cos even before he basically killed himself with unhealthy coping mechanisms, he ruined his own life with the same problem. He became distant from his wife and child because he loved them so much but he didnt know how to communicate it and he just ran away from all of his problems. He buried himself in his work to avoid facing the fact he was having relationship issues with his wife, which obviously just made it worse. And his whole work in the first place was from a stupid idea that he could "keep everyone i love safe if i take over the world". Like the idea of actually telling them he loved them and talking about his worries was SO IMPOSSIBLE that he jumped to an even more impossible solution as something easier! And then its so depressing cos oh man these diaries are like a constant stream of jokes about how this man is destroying himself from overwork and like seriously it was so bad that they had to censor a few of them in the dub. For example one about how he hadnt changed out of his lab coat in over two weeks so his wife mistook his laundry for nuclear waste and tried to friggin dispose of his boxers with a long stick and a flamethrower! Which the dub somehow thought was too gross even tho half of all yokai are just gross jokes lol. BUT SERIOUSLY They try and write it all comical at first but all this comical stuff causes realistic consequences of a rift between him and his family AND ALSO his health failing with every damn page you turn like holy fuckin shit. You cant blame his wife for leaving him, she didnt know he really did love her and was just running away from talking about his problems. God she must have suffered so much trying to raise the kid alone and not knowing WHY he seemed to leave her entirely and hate her more and more each day. And its implied that maddiman's research started getting all fanatical and supernatural even before he became a monster, and he wasnt even seeing regular patients at the hospital and like.. Doing his job... Receiving money of any sort. So man at some point yeah the poor lady would have to make the right choice to leave for the sake of their kid. It sounds like she tried so damn hard to get him to open up and just goddamn come home!!!

AND THE WORST PART IS THAT IT WORKED

Yknow not just in the literal sense where his shambling undead self is STILL SICK FROM HOW HE DIED and LITERALLY WEARS HIS HEART ON HIS SLEEVE NOW

Oh god i just realized that maybe his inspiriting power is "heart swap" not because literally he's an evil scientist who wants to cut you up, but because HE WISHES HE COULD HAVE SHOWN HIS HEART TO HIS FAMILY WHEN HE HAD THE CHANCE!!!!!#!!!

and okay seriously THAT PART, THAT WORST OF WORST PARTS

Is that he did!!! He did try!! He did make the right choice!! He just kept running away for so long that when he decided to step up and be a good husband and father it was already too late. :(

He did decide to abandon his fanatical nonsense and just go home and show them he loves them. He closed up work early and bought a bunch of gifts for his family and came home hoping to surprise them and... Was surprised. At an empty house. And a note saying she'd already gone. On fuckin APRIL FOOLS DAY OF ALL DAMN DAYS so he SAT THERE SURROUNDED BY THE PRESENTS CRYING FOR HOURS HOPING IT WAS JUST A JOKE

And he just fell back even harder into his self harming conflict avoidance behaviours. He didnt try and call her and apologise, he didnt even go home ever again. He probably left the same bag of presents there on the table gathering dust even when he was dead. He just went back to work and kept working so hard that he didnt notice when he fell asleep and never woke up.

And thats why in the first game he seemed so much more evil but he was confirmed redeemable in future games and got all this heart destroying heartwarming bullshit beautiful goddamn writing AND ALSO THREE BABY TURTLES TO HUG. He just fuckin ran away from his problems so hard that he forgot he was ever human!! And he was stuck so much in this 'i must complete my ultimate science at any cost' mindset that he forgot why it was even important. And he was willing to make any damn sacrifices for something he didnt know was already useless cos HIS WIFE AND KID ARE PROBABLY DEAD NOW ANYWAY *sob*

Oh and then yokai watch 3 confirmed that yes at least his kid is indeed dead anyway. You can catch his yokai form too and HE BECAME A DOCTOR JUST LIKE HIS GODDAMN DAD!!!! They made up fpr not ever letting us have a playable maddiman by giving us a new yokai scienceman and HEY WHY NOT HAVE THE SADDEST POSSIBLE EXPLANATION FOR THAT!!!! And in the quest that finaly confirms their connection HA HA WHAT WOULD BE THE WORST POSSIBLE TEASE WE COULD GIVE THE PLAYERS? Hey looks like Cliff inherited his dad's neuroses so instead of going to meet him he runs away from his problems. And thats just the end. The closest they get to reuniting is dr son guy leaving his dad a can of his favourite soda before he runs away. This was in the last set of dlc for the game and will probably never get a better conclusion unless the two of them return in a future game but the original anime series has ended now and the next game looks like its gonna be this alternate universe thing instead. Sigh!

FUCKIN HELL LEVEL-5 WHY DO YOU TORMENT ME WITH THIS GREAT PLOTLINE OF UTMOST SADS

Why is "sad science dad" always my fave character in everything ever and why is dr maddiman such the best

Im cry my heart out. Quite literally. LIKE POOR GODDAMN DR MADDIMANNNNNN

[almostrealdudes]

Chance

Pairing: Alex Summers x female!SO

Summary: Alex has been having nightmares ever since he’s returned from war. One night it goes out of hand.

Warnings: it’s angsty, but it ends well, so I think we’re clear

Word count: 1574

A/N: Literally no one asked for this, but I rewatched X Men recently and my heart had no peace until I wrote this.

She knew it wouldn’t be easy after war. She knew that having Alex back would not be as wonderful as it sounded.

She thought she was ready; she kept telling herself to low down the expectations, not to expect anything, in fact; turned out, no matter how much you understood, you were destined to go the hard path, because there was such thing as an “easy” one.

First few days, she had difficulties believing she wasn’t dreaming. She was sinking in euphoria, this almost hysterical happiness when you occasionally forget how to breathe just realizing that a person who you’ve waited for for three years is finally here, falls asleep and wakes up beside you, talks to you, looks at you, eats with you, exists in the same space as you.

She felt like she was going insane; she kept bursting into happy tears from everything: when she saw his toothbrush on the sink. When she heard his footsteps around the house. When she realized she had to crack not two, but four eggs and get two plates instead of one.

But happy tears turned into sad tears very quickly.

Alex wasn’t the same. She understood and tried to be there for him, but he kept closing up from her, walking away, pretending he is fine. His side of the bed at night was almost always empty, he rarely smiled, rarely talked. Alex wasn’t the same and she ached. Not for herself, but for him. Because she knew how hurt and traumatized he was, and the fact that she couldn’t do anything to make him feel any better was tearing her apart.

Whenever he actually went to bed with her, he didn’t sleep. Nightmares chased him, keeping him in constant terror, leaving him restless, with sweat dripping from his face and with his body shaking. She was always there to calm him down, but he would just shortly apologize for waking her up and leave to seat on the couch in the living room until dawn.

This night wasn’t an exception. She woke up from audible mumbling and movement beside her. She sat up and looked at Alex, her heart instantly shrinking from the view: his brows were furrowed, hands clenched in fists. He was shaking his head, muttering something incoherent.

She gently put her hands on his shoulders.

“Alex,” she whispered, her voice soft and gentle, “honey, wake up.”

Her call made no effect. She slowly crawled on top of him, cupping his face.

“Alex, please, wake up,” she said, now louder. Still nothing.

Meanwhile, Alex’s movements became rougher, his whole body was now moving side to side. He raised his voice, his breath fastened. She was starting to panic.

“Alex, I beg you, please, wake up.”

She suddenly felt heat growing in his stomach. The bedroom was slowly lightening up from the glow coming from his body. Her body tensed up. She wanted to call his name again when a ray of energy bursted out of his chest. She barely managed to evade, falling back her elbows. The ray went straight up, breaking through the ceiling with a crash, pieces of paster and wood falling on the bed. Dust overflew the room. Her lungs started to feel scratchy and she closed her mouth, coughing blinking rapidly.

Only then did Alex wake up, jumping on the bed. His eyes were round and his breath was heavy, like he just ran a marathon. He threw a quick glance at his chest, seeing a hole in his t-shirt. His eyes grew even wider and his face shrouded in horror as he raised his eyes and locked them with hers. She quickly snapped out of it, pushing herself towards him in a rush to calm him down.

“Alex, I’m fin-“

“I almost hurt you,” his voice was low and quiet. She felt her heart shrink again.

“You didn’t. I’m completely fine. Baby, I’m fine,” she kept repeating, trying to get closer to him. As soon as her hand reached his, his body flinched and he quickly got up. He was mortified.

“Stay back,” his voice was shaking, “stay back before I hurt you again.” She felt a lump in her throat. Gulping, she tried to make it go away, but it only got worse.

“You won’t. Alex, you won’t.” Now her voice was shaking. She was trying to sound calm, but it wasn’t working. “Please come back here, I-“

“I’m going to a motel,” he blurted out, grabbing a random t-shirt from the wardrobe and walking outside the room. Her face dropped.

No.

No no no.

She’s losing him. Right now, she is losing him and she is about to lose him for good. She rapidly jumped out of the bed, almost falling down, and ran outside. By this time his was already downstairs, putting his shoes on. His movements were sharp and hasty, he really wanted to leave before she had the chance to stop him. She could not let that happen. As Alex grabbed the door handle, she smashed her body into his, wrapping her hands like roots around his torso. He took her hands in his and tried to move them away.

“Let go,” he says, trying to sound as cold as possible, but his voice is yet breaking.

“No,” she refuses, pushing her body into his back.

“Let go of me. I cannot stay here.”

She is silent. He clenches his jaw.

“Let go.”

She doesn’t move.

“Let go!” He yells. It’s what he wanted it to be. But it comes out as a sob, and he feels that he is loosing control. “Don’t you understand?! You’re not safe with me!”

“You’re not safe by yourself!” She yells back. Alex tenses up. Her voice is falling apart and he can feel her tears soaking into his t-shirt. “You’re in constant, non-ending pain and it’s eating you alive and you just wanna walk away with it?! So what? So it suffocates you? So I lose you after having you back? So these three years of hell are for nothing? I will not seat back and watch as you destroy yourself!”

She sobs, catching her breath. He loosens his grip on her hands, but doesn’t let go. For a moment, there’s complete silence.

“Talk to me,” she whispers. “God, just—please, talk to me.”

“I don’t know how!”

Alex’s body starts to shake and he realizes he can’t control himself anymore.

The sounds he makes are so broken, so desperate. He sobs, loudly, slowly falling on his knees and gripping the fabric of his sweatpants until his knuckles turn white.

“I just—there’s so much I want to say—so much in my head, but it just won’t go out!”

She moves around him without letting go and leans against the front door, pulling him towards her, burring his face in her chest. He grabs her everywhere he can, holding onto her for dear life and he cries. He cries out everything he had inside him for this whole time, bottled, hidden. She silently cries with him. Her tears are dropping on his hair. They cry together, holding each other as if it the last time they ever will.

It seemed as they sat like this forever. Even when the sobbing stopped, they just sat there, in a tight embrace, calming their breaths.

“You know,” she broke the silence wit a soft whisper, “when I saw you at the door back then... I thought I would pass out. I couldn’t breathe. Seeing you in person, feeling your presence... I was going insane. At same time,” her fingers started to slowly move through his hair, “i was the happiest I’ve ever been. Ever.”

Alex slowly shifted, readjusting himself in her arms so he can see her face. His eyes were red and puffy, just like hers. They both silently chuckled, realizing how ridiculous they two must look right now. Then his smile faded and he looked down.

“Without you.. I wouldn’t have made it.”

“But I was here.”

“Yes. And also here,” he looked back at her, pointing a finger to his temple and then moving it to his chest, “and here.”

She smiled and Alex felt his eyes watering again.

“I’m sorry. For everything.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry for.”

“Hell yeah there is. I almost hurt you. I almost the most important relationship of my life, I—“

“You apologize one more time and I’m gonna break your nose. I dare you, Summers.”

He chuckled. “I probably deserve it.”

“You are my everything, Alex. And you’ve been through literal hell. And it’s a miracle that you’re here in my arms right now. But you are. You have every right to act however you want, to ask for whatever you need. But there’s one right you don’t have, and it’s having all the pain to yourself. We got this rare chance to have each other, a chance that so many people don’t get. And I don’t want us to waste it.”

He sighed and cupped her cheek with his palm.

“I don’t want that either.”

She leaned into his touch. He smiled softly, bringing her closer to him and covering her lips with his. And it finally feels right.

He touched her forehead with his, closing his eyes, finally feeling at ease.

“I love you more that anything else.”

She took her hand in hers and brought it to her lips.

“I love you too, Alex. The most.”

______________

Soooo, there’s that! If you have some marvel-related requests, send them to me <3

#x men #x men days of future past #x men apocalypse #x men first class #alex summers #alex summers x reader #alex summers imagine #marvel