#gosh it has been FAR too long since I’ve drawn these two

[artsy--shipper]

I heard it was kiss day in Japan, so of course I had to doodle the otp 😊💕

#animal crossing #acnh #ac carmen #ac ohare #ocare #fav #my art #artsymade #gosh it has been FAR too long since I’ve drawn these two #felt great to draw my babies again 😊💕💕 #ac

[chockfullofsecrets]

Critical Role: The Opposite of Cuddling

(Read on AO3)

Rating: Gen

Summary: And maybe it wouldn’t be too bad, but - “That’s not gonna work,” he says, feeling a little bad as her face falls. “I’m way too ticklish for that.”

Jester’s expression rebounds at lightning speed. “Caduceus! You’re ticklish?”

“Oh. Yeah,” he grins.

Dome cuddles don't quite work out, but the Mighty Nein make do.

Wordcount: 1.8k (it would be short if it wasn’t supposed to be a snippet fic aaa)

A/N: maybe i am just in the mood for cuddly gang tickles. maybe so. 

---

“So,” Jester is proselytizing, brandishing a diagram from her sketchbook into dubious faces, “if we cuddle up around Caduceus just like this it’s going to be super soft and comfy and warm until we get out of this stupid weather! Any questions?”

Caduceus puts his teacup aside and leans down to peer at the sketch. It’s really good, especially the faces. She must have drawn it while watching them sleep last night.

And maybe it wouldn’t be too bad, but - “That’s not gonna work,” he says, feeling a little bad as her face falls. “I’m way too ticklish for that.”

Jester’s expression rebounds at lightning speed. “Caduceus! You’re ticklish?”

“Oh. Yeah,” he grins. It feels good to see her happy, tail flicking as she clutches her sketchbook in clear delight - after two days of nonstop freezing rain, even her forceful cheer has been wavering. “It’s nice, sometimes, but not when we’re, you know. Sleeping.”

“So I could tickle you right now and you wouldn’t be, like, really mad at me?” Jester presses. She’s scooting towards him as she asks, practically trembling with excitement. It’s awfully cute.

Well, it’s been a while, but he can’t say he’s not a little eager for the contact. He ignores the looks from the rest of their group and flops back onto his bedroll, wriggling a little to get comfortable. “Yeah, that’d be good.”

“Um,” Beau says from somewhere behind him, a little strangled. Oh, right.

“We’re not keeping people awake, are we?” he asks, craning his neck to the various edges of the dome people have settled in. “Anyone set on sleeping right now?”

Beau makes a face. "That's not the weird part, Duceus."

“They can help!” Jester chirps, and then she’s cuddled into his side and wiggling tiny tiefling claws above his belly. “Oh, Ca-du-ceus!”

She’s pitching her voice as deep and scary as it can go. It’s not very far. “Yeah?”

“Where’s your very worst tickle spot?”

He laughs. “Telling you that feels like a bad idea.”

“Then I’ll just have to fi-ind it!” She tugs his shirt up with one quick move, and he barely has time to feel the cold before she’s latching onto his sides and burying her entire face into the downy fur on his belly. “Ooh, you’re so soft and warm! I want to cuddle you forever, Caduceus.”

It tickles, but just a little - honestly, he’s more amused by her. “Can’t say I’ve heard that before,” he chuckles, reaching out to poke gently at her side. “You’re not bad yourself.”

She squeaks, pulling her head up just enough to gasp at him. “Oh my gosh, Caduceus, did you just tickle me back? Guys, you have to come help me!”

“Nah, I’m good,” Beau snorts.

Jester lets out a massive sigh and flops back down onto him, and for a pleasant minute or two it’s just her nuzzling into him as he watches raindrops pelt off the amber dome overhead.

Then there’s a rustle, and some clinking, and before he can do anything more than lazily twitch one of his ears in the direction of the sound Yasha’s upside-down face pushes into his field of view.

“Do you mind if I join?” she asks in her quiet way. “I don’t want to overwhelm you.”

Jester springs upright, grabbing happily for her hands. “Yes! Join us!”

Caduceus echoes her, snorting out a quiet laugh as Jester regains some of her energy and starts to scribble her way up his sides. He doesn't have any quiet siblings - Yasha reminds him a little more of the mourners, so it’s always nice to see her reach out. He's good at appreciating that sort of thing.

Yasha smiles shyly down at the both of them as she pulls his head into her lap and starts to play with his ears. “These are so soft,” she marvels. “Are you ticklish here?”

His ears have always been one of his siblings’ favorite spots to tease him with, and apparently they haven’t gotten any less sensitive in the last ten years. “Yeah,” he gasps. “Heh - just - hehe - a little bit.”

There's a frustrated groan off to his right. “Okay, I’ll bite.” Footsteps track around to his side, fleet and quiet, and he waits patiently for a flash of blue cloth to cross his gaze. “But only ‘cause ears are a fucking weird spot and I want to see if this works on you.”

Beau crouches by his side and curls her fingers loosely. “I’m gonna punch you,” she warns. “Probably not that hard, but don’t tense up.”

He nods as best as he can while tilting his head to better let Yasha worry her fingernails at the backs of his ears - he’s not sure if he could feel more boneless if he tried, right now.

The heel of her fist strikes him right in the middle of his chest, fingers clutching around something intangible - that something scurries its way down every nerve he has, and he coughs out a startled laugh before he can help himself. “What was that?”

“Payback for growing lichen on me back at your house,” she quips, but her eyes are narrowed in clear concentration. “Okay, ears, ears… wrists? And knees? And - fuck, man, your entire back? Really? Jes, let’s flip him over, this is going to be good.”

Well, that’s unexpected.

“Wait - ha!” Caduceus yelps, squirming as fingers start to pry their way underneath him. “Hold on now-”

He’s bigger than both of them by far, but they’re strong and not above tickling the backs of his ribs until he starts to squeal. "You're so thin, Caduceus!" Jester exclaims, hooking a finger into the tender gap between two bones and wriggling it mercilessly - his back arches entirely without his permission, letting Beau pry him another inch off the ground, and he whines defensively. "We have to feed you more!"

They get as far as rolling him onto his side before Beau loses patience and starts prodding smugly at his spine. “Your ki is pretty shivery around here, Duceus,” she teases. “Trying to hide your worst spots, huh? Bet you thought we weren’t gonna take this seriously.”

Caduceus is too busy laughing to deal with - any of that, really, especially when Jester slings herself over him so she can reach his back too. “I’m - ahaha! aaa! - oh, that tickles!”

As if in direct response to his babbling, a small weight bundles into the back of his knees. He curls up reflexively with a strangled shout - it’s Nott, cuddling up to him with a shivery sigh as an invisible hand starts to pinch at his kneecaps. “You’re right,” she crows to Jester. “He is soft.”

It does feel nice, being buried under this many people and tickled till the marrow of every bone in his body shivers, happy and helpless, and when Fjord finally sits in front of him and presses a questioning hand to his shoulder Caduceus doesn’t resist the impulse to clutch his hands and pull him in closer.

Fjord comes easily, huffing in quiet amusement as Caduceus buries his face in him and Yasha and wriggles like a freshly surfaced earthworm. “You alright there?” he drawls. “You sound like they’re trying to kill you.”

Nott snorts from somewhere near his belly. “We should stop, then, we’ve only got the one cleric.”

“Hey!”

Everything abruptly derails as Jester launches herself towards Nott and, from the sound of it, kicks Beau right in the face - there’s wheezing, and then shouting, and then the telltale sugar-sweet scent of Jester’s healing magic.

Caduceus holds very still. "Is everyone okay?"

"Yeah," Beau confirms, mangled. He can practically picture Jester frantically squishing her cheeks around as she checks for damage.

A typical tickle fight, as far as the Clays are concerned, just with a different smell - the Wildmother's healing tends more earthy. Even though they’ve stopped tickling, Caduceus can’t help but laugh.

He’s not sure if he imagines Fjord fluttering light fingers along the insides of his wrists as he catches his breath, but by the time he wheezes out one last fit of giggles and rolls himself back over everyone seems to be keeping a respectful distance, if a good deal closer together than they were at the beginning of the evening. “I think that went pretty well,” he says, pleased.

“...so you’re stupid ticklish,” Beau says dryly, scrubbing a bit of dried blood from her lip. “No cuddling Duceus while he’s trying to be unconscious, message received.”

There’s a chorus of agreement from all but one - Caduceus looks around and spots their final member for the first time since they sat down for dinner, nose buried in a book and ears suspiciously red.

He hasn’t moved an inch all night, even to escape the noise, which leaves him only a few feet away from the rest of them. Caduceus gets the feeling he’s about to regret that. “Oh, I’m sure there are those that have it worse,” he grins. “Right, Mr. Caleb?”

Caleb’s gaze snaps up over the edge of his book. “Ja,” he rushes out, strangled. “I mean - nein - of course I am not - I am just trying to read here-”

Jester doesn’t wait for him to dig his grave any deeper. “Oh my gosh, Cay-leb, are you super ticklish too?”

Caleb stuffs his book back into its holster and holds a hand out preventatively, reaching with panicked precision for a strip of leather tied just above his knee with the other. “No, I am not-”

“Oh, no you don’t.” Fjord rocks backward and reaches out with one broad hand, latching onto Caleb's wrist, and Caleb promptly abandons all spellcasting to kick at him like a startled rabbit.

Despite that, he reels Caleb in gently, scooping him into a neat little ball before he heaves him into the middle of their little circle and squarely on top of Caduceus. “I think we owe you a nice, long thank you for this lovely dome, don’t we?”

There’s a moment of silence as Caleb presumably thinks about how easy it would be to kill them all in this enclosed space. “This,” he says, as severely as he can with his feet in the air and hair in his eyes, “is the opposite of cuddling, and if you do not leave me alone then tomorrow night I am going to make all of you sleep in the rain.”

Even the seasoned homebody in Caduceus knows that’s the exact wrong thing to say to a group of damp and grumpy adventurers - if the mood in the dome was mischievous before, it takes a steep dive into outright evil.

Beau cracks her knuckles. “Yeah? Let’s see what you have to say when we tickle you again tomorrow.”

And if Caduceus laughs as Caleb gives one startled owlish blink and then scrambles to hide as much of himself behind Caduceus as possible - well, that’s not from the tickling at all.

#Tickling #critical role #caduceus clay #jester lavorre #the mighty nein #bc i cannot tag all seven of them that feels illegal #chocfic

[rosiehunterwolf]

... Morro

XD y'all really like your Morro, don't you? This is the second Morro request I've gotten (third technically, but there was an issue with the other one so it's not going to be filled) and the first one blew up XD, got way more notes than any fic I've posted before even though it was just a short little thing.

Since I already did a typical Morro fic, though, I decided to try something a little different with this one and tie it into the movie!verse. Hope you enjoy!

Spirit of the Deep

Summary: With Garmadon defeated for good, the ninja are eager to find another way to busy themselves. When Kai finds out about an ancient temple rumored to hold some sort of treasure, the others are immediately in.

Not all adventures are good, though. Before the ninja know it, they are in over their heads with a discovery they will never forget. (Movie!verse AU)

“It’s just through here!”

Kai’s voice rang through the temple, and Lloyd pushed his way through the vines, looking around carefully, his sword drawn. “Kai, not so loud. I don’t have a great feeling about this place.”

“Gee, I wonder why!” Jay squeaked from behind him. “I mean, look at this place!” He waved his hands at the crumbling stone walls, overgrown with weeds and vines. “Kai, what made you think it was a good idea to come here?”

“Oh, Jay, stop being such a coward. It’s going to be fun! There could be puzzles! Or booby traps! And most importantly, treasure!”

“You’re excited about booby traps?”

Lloyd stopped, holding up his flashlight to examine something on the wall. It looked to be an engraving of some sort, like a whirlwind, and below it, some sort of runes that Lloyd couldn’t read.

With a start, he realized the others were far ahead of him now, and he darted after them, desperate to keep up. “Guys! Don’t leave me alone like that! Are you forgetting I don’t have powers to protect myself like you guys do?”

“Fat lot of use powers will be when Kai and Jay inevitably trigger all the traps and the floor disappears beneath us,” Cole grumbled.

“Hey!” Kai yelped, at the same time Jay said, “Do you really think there are traps in here?”

Nya sighed. “If you’re so nervous, Jay, why did you even come with?”

“The rest of you guys were all going! I wasn’t going to be left behind!”

“There does not appear to be any signs of life,” Zane said. “I do not think anyone has been here for a long time.”

“What about traps? Can your sensors detect any traps?”

Zane frowned. “No. There seems to be some sort of interference with my signals.”

Kai suddenly stopped, the others bumping into him at the lack of warning.

“Kai?” Cole asked. “Why’d we stop?”

“There’s something in there.” Kai didn’t elaborate further, stepping over the rubble of the crumbled wall and disappearing from sight.

“Kai, wait!” Nya yelped, hurrying after him.

“So much for sticking together,” Lloyd grumbled as he followed the others into the room. “Seriously, one day this is going to-” he stopped short of walking right into Cole. “What is it?”

The earth ninja simply pointed, and Lloyd went slack.

In the middle of the room, there was a pedestal, intricate carvings in the side of it emitting a faint green glow. Atop it, a scroll was rolled up, the paper worn with age.

“What is that?” Nya breathed.

“I don’t know, but I don’t like it one bit. Maybe we should just go-”

“Can it, Jay.” Cole grabbed the lightning ninja by the back of his shirt. “We didn’t come all this way for nothing.”

“What’s an old scroll doing all the way out here?” Lloyd asked. He reached for it, but Kai stopped him with a sharp yelp.

“Lloyd, don’t! I saw something like this in a movie once! This is a trap. When you take the scroll, the weight on the pressure plate will lift, and the whole place will come down around us! We need to find something that’s an equal weight to replace it with.”

Lloyd eyed the pedestal. “I don’t think…”

Nya sighed. “Kai, you’re confusing movies with reality.”

“I’m not! Trust me!”

“Fine.” Lloyd turned to the group. “Do we have anything?”

Cole pulled something out of his bag, holding it out to them. “I have a rock.”

They blinked at him. “Why do you have a rock?”

Cole shrugged. “Maybe I like rocks.”

Kai shook his head. “Okay, whatever. That should work.” Taking the rock from Cole, he positioned himself over the pedestal. He took a deep breath. “Here goes.”

In the blink of an eye, he had switched out the scroll for the rock. There was an ominous creaking sound, and they all held their breath, waiting. A few small stones clattered down from the roof, but other than that, nothing.

“We did it.” Unrolling the scroll, Kai’s relieved expression quickly changed to one of disappointment. “It’s just a bunch of symbols and gibberish.”

“Zane, do you think you can decipher it?” Lloyd asked.

Zane took the scroll from Kai. His brow furrowed. “This does not appear to match the dialect of any of the official Ninjago languages.”

“Lemme look at that.” Jay took the scroll from him, and Cole scowled at him.

“Be careful with it, nitwit! As far as we know, this is a priceless artifact!” As the others squabbled over the scroll, Lloyd approached the pedestal. Now that he was closer, he could see that there was an engraving on the top that he had missed before.

A funnel, sort of like-

A whirlwind. It was that same symbol he had seen near the entrance.

“Hey, guys,” he called. “I think this may be important, I saw it earlier-” Reaching out, he let his fingers lightly brush the engraving. Suddenly, there was a bright flare of light, and a gust of wind that seemed to come from nowhere sent Lloyd hurtling across the room. He groaned, rubbing his head.

“Lloyd!” Suddenly the others were beside him, Kai gripping his arm so tightly his knuckles turned white. Lloyd waved him off. “Kai, don’t worry, I’m fine-” he stopped, realizing that the fire ninja was no longer looking at him.

Lloyd followed his gaze and froze.

Hovering over the pedestal was a young man with long black hair, a green streak running through it. His clothes were ripped and disheveled, and he was examining himself in awe.

Most noteworthy, though, was the fact that Lloyd could see right through his body.

The man looked up suddenly, spearing them with his gaze. “Who are you? Where am I? What happened to me?”

“Oh. Oh my gosh.” Jay gripped Lloyd’s arm. “I think we just awakened a ghost! Oh my gosh, Lloyd, what have you done?”

“What have I done? Kai’s the one who brought us here! Blame him!”

“Me? You’re the one who touched the pedestal after I clearly told you not to!”

“Well, maybe if you guys had listened to me about the symbol, I wouldn’t have!”

“The scroll distracted us! Blame Zane, he’s the one who couldn’t read it!”

“Me? Nya was the one who-”

“Enough!” a voice bellowed across the room, and they all froze, turning to look at the ghost. “I can’t believe a bunch of kids just released me from the dead. I can’t believe I’m dead!”

“We’re not kids!” Nya snapped. “We’re ninja.”

The ghost looked at her. “Right.”

“We are!”

“Um,” Lloyd swallowed. “Mr. Ghost, sir-”

The ghost rolled his eyes. “It’s Morro.”

“Okay, Morro- we could get in a lot of trouble if our master found out what we did. So, um… maybe you could consider… going back? To wherever you came from?”

“Are you kidding?” Morro laughed. “I was trapped in there for years! I’m never going back!”

“Uh, I think you are.” Kai stepped forward, igniting his fist. “Get back in! Or else!”

Morro’s eyes widened. “An elemental master. I’ll be damned.”

“And there’s more where that came from!” Nya shot a jet of water at him, and Morro shrieked, darting out of the way.

“Watch it! Didn’t anyone ever teach you that water kills ghosts?”

“To have a ghost roaming the city would be unwise.” Zane stepped forward, ice crackling between his fingers. “We have you surrounded. Please go back inside your pedestal.”

“Two can play at that game,” he muttered. As Zane blasted him with ice, a powerful gust of wind shot from Morro’s hands, repelling the ice.

Lloyd felt his jaw go slack. Suddenly, the whirlwind symbols made a lot more sense.

“You’re an elemental master, too?” Cole whispered.

“Got a problem with that?”

The others turned to look at him. “What do we do, Lloyd?”

Lloyd glanced back and forth between his team and Morro. “I have a feeling we’re not going to get rid of him. And… Master never told us about an elemental master of wind. He should probably know about this.”

“Alright.” Nya turned towards Morro. “We’re going to take you to our master. Cooperate, or else.”

Morro sighed. “It doesn’t seem like I have much of a choice, do I? Fine, let’s go.” And, in a flash, he was sliding into Lloyd’s body.

Lloyd screamed, falling to the floor as the chill overtook him, the feeling of a foreign presence taking over his brain-

“Okay, okay kid, I’ll stop!”

Lloyd looked up to see Morro had left his body and was hovering over him, the others just behind, their expressions ranging from horrified to furious glares at Morro.

“Lloyd, are you okay?” Kai reached out, helping him to his feet.

“Geez, kid, you act like you’ve never been possessed before.”

Lloyd blinked at him. “I haven’t.”

Morro snorted. “Look, it’s not going to hurt you. I’m a ghost- I’m weak to water. The city has water everywhere- dripping from the roofs, pooling in the streets- the protection of a human body makes it far less likely that I’ll die on the way there. Besides, a ghost floating around isn’t exactly subtle, and… I have a feeling that attention isn’t exactly something we want.”

Lloyd exhaled slowly. “Fine. Do it.”

This time, he was prepared as the coldness numbed his body, although it still wasn’t a pleasant feeling.

The others looked at him anxiously. “Are you sure you’re okay with this, Lloyd?” Nya asked.

“It’s fine, it’ll be over soon. Now come on, let’s go find my uncle and get some answers.”

Let’s hope this guy actually knows what’s going on.

It took Lloyd a moment to realize the thoughts were Morro’s, but he found himself thinking the same thing. If Master Wu couldn’t fix this… he didn’t know what he was going to do.

#....this feels like it should have a part two #I'm not saying it WILL #only that it feels unfinished #idk maybe i'll come back and write more later we'll see #it's not like i have any lore for it all though but it still could be cool #anyways #this was different! #interesting write i hope you liked it #ninjago #asks #anon #fic request #event #100 followers event #ficlet #my fic #rosie writes #movie!verse #tlnm #ninjago morro #the squad #requests open

[blackberry-gingham]

Would it be too soo to ask a pt3 to the mermaid au ? XD (gosh i feel like a middle school girl who likes h2o but who cares I love it !) 😍😂

Chiiiiiille, it is NEVER too soon to request more mermaid!reader au 😩😩😩👌🏻 lmao ik how you feel, but it's all good! We're here for some silly, good old fun right? 😂

---

George

Today is the first day of summer break, and George couldn't possibly be more estatic

Of course it's nice to be off from school, but now he can see you just about whenever he wants

Things were working out alright before, scheduling times to meet and all, but unfortunately it didn't last as long as you both would've liked given his busy schedule

But now, no more!

George is up bright and early and the first thing he does is head off to your lake

He chains it up by the communal dock, then heads off into the forest, away from prying eyes

The two of you had to find a new location to meet, especially as the warmer weather came along, and luckily it's not too far off

George sprints out of the treeline and hops down to the sandy bank

He cups his mouth and calls your name, only growing more excited when he sees you breach the water only a few minutes later

"George? What are you doing here!", you swim towards shore and he sheds his shoes and shit to meet you halfway

He wades out till he's chest deep, "First day of summer break!", he gives you a quick kiss

From the confused look ok your face, he can see that he needs to explain, but once you understand, your while face lights up in excitement

"So... How often will you come down?"

"As often as we want!", he brushes a strand on hair out of your face, "Every day if I could"

George smiles softly, and you give a little squeal, swimming forward to wrap him in a hug

Your scales are scratching his legs a bit, but he doesn't mind

Instead he holds onto you and carries you deeper into the lake

You spend the next hour or so swimming about and exploring the water, sometimes even diving to the lake floor to see what you can find

Today's treasure consist of plastic straw, swimming goggles, a paper clip, and a disintegrating receipt

Nothing unusual there

George always wishes he could find something pretty to give to you, but you tell him you're happy for the help to clean your lake a touch

When you're both worn out from all the frolicking, you take a break on the sand and bathe in the sun

George holds your hand in his while you chat and dry off together

And after a bit of that, he floats the idea of grabbing a treat

He promises he'll be right back, and true to his word he returns after a long break with two ice cream cones

George hands you your favorite flavor, and you gasp in excitement

You love ice cream. Everyday you wish you had this underwater

He kisses you cheek, "just think, we can do this all summer long!"

"Can we?", you ask with suspended excitement

George nudges the tip of your nose with his and kisses your forehead, "Nothing would make me happier"

John

With the start of summer break, John finally has a proper excuse for being out and about so much

Especially to explain away the sand and smell of salt water he keeps bringing home...

Good thing too, Mimi was getting quite suspicious

"Mimi, I'm going out!"

"Wha- Again? Have you done your chores!"

John is already halfway out the door, "Yes, goodbye, love you!"

He slams it shut behind him and races off

He'll accept his lecture later, right now he needs to see you

By the time he gets to your cove, he's completely out of breath as he calls your name

All the commotion rouses you from sleep

Regardless, John seems to be full of energy, with no consideration for that fact that you've just awoken

You, understandably confused, ask what he's going here

John jabbers on with an explanation, looking as though he'll explode from the excitement if he doesn't get it out fast enough

And over the course of his drawn out explanation, suddenly you find yourself feeling just as awake and excited

"Well... We should do something to celebrate!", you suggest

John agrees with you, but faulters when it comes to making a suggestion

You both think hard, but nothing comes to mind

Until, you come up with a different idea, "You know, we don't have to go or do anything... Why don't we just relax? It's been a while you know"

John smiles softly at that and takes a seat beside you on your pile of treasure

"I know.... I'm sorry, I've just been so busy"

You kiss his cheek and tell him he doesn't need to apologise

John grins at your touch, and kisses you back before pulling you onto him and laying down

You give a little squeak as you land safely on top of his chest

He smirks at you and strokes the small of your back, "Hello there"

You roll your eyes, and take his face in your hands before planting a proper kiss to his lips

The heart shaped locket he gave you clinks and glitters against the zipper of his leather jacket before catching his eye

"You still have it?"

"Of course I do...", you fix him with a look and laugh, a touch confused. "It's the most precious thing I own"

You kiss him and lay your head down on his shoulder, nuzzling into the nape of his neck

John's heart pounds inside his chest

He likes the idea of being precious to someone

You run your thumb along his jawline, "Whatcha thinking about?"

John turns his head as far as he can without disturbing you and looks into the gorgeous infinity of your eyes

"I love you..."

Paul

The sun beams overhead as he waits on the forested shore for you to appear

This is his third day in a row seeing you since summer began

Third time! Imagine that...

He's brought you a surprise today, and he can't wait to get your reaction

Soon enough you break through to the surface and crawl up to land

"Sorry, I got a bit side tracked, and I- Oh! You brought your bass?"

"That's right! I wanted to show you this silly little love song I wrote... Made me think of you..."

Paul gives you a kiss, then pulls out the lucky scale you gave him from what feels like so long ago now

He counts himself off before strumming a pleasent bass line which slowly evolves as he adds his voice

You weren't expecting to be seranaded first thing on land this morning, but you can hardly complain

The song is beautiful and you can't help but enjoy the slight nautical vibe it has to it

"Oh, Paul... That was wonderful! Have you played it at a show yet?"

Paul looks pleased with himself as he responds, "This? Oh, no, this isn't for the public, just for you"

He takes your chin gently and tilts your head to look at him as he winks at you

You brush his hand away and laugh cheerfully, "You smooth talker..."

Paul puts aside the instrument and slides closer to you

He doesn't say anything more, instead he invites you to a few kisses as he holds your jaw in his callused hand

You stay like that for a few minutes, until finally you break apart

Paul huffs softly and catches his breath, his eyes still closed as he commits the moment to memory

"Say...", you slide your hand over to his and intertwine your fingers

"Hm...?"

"...think you could play it one more time?"

Paul lights up from the insight out, absolutely aglow with pride

And to think, John told him the song was silly...

"Course I can love"

Ringo

You know, at first he felt rather silly...

Pulling up to the abandoned dock with his brightly colored life jacket like he does

But having the freedom to jump into the water with you and not have to worry about going under always wins out

Ringo runs down the sandy bank calling your name and shedding his shirts and shoes as he goes

You're already waiting for him on a rocky outcrop as he approaches

You whip around at the sound of you name, tail swishing excitedly as he runs to meet you

Ringo drops his life jacket on a rock and climbs up to give you a kiss

When you pulls away, you give his beard a playful tug and then a little scratch as he leans into your touch

"Hello to you too, gorgeous", he nuzzles your cheek

You smile and hum happily

"Ready for the water?", you nod towards his floaty jacket

"Yeah... Don't want a repeat of last weekend, eh?"

The weekend in question consisted of a near brush with death

He'd decided to leave his jacket behind and try swimming in the choppy waves himself

Of course he can swim just fine, but he's still quite weak from being sick all the time, so...

Well, he got tired much faster then he thought and before he knew it, the ocean was swallowing him

Luckily you noticed his absence almost immediately and swooped in to save him

Again

After that scare, you made him promise to always bring his jacket from then on

And, true to his word, here it is

"Oh, don't even joke about it!", you hug him tightly before letting him get it on

He hates to make you worried, but he does love that you care...

Ringo smiles to himself as he gets on his jacket over his skinny chest

"There, now come on!", he slides off the rock and into the waves with you following close bey

With a gentle plop, he bobs right back up to the surface

He kicks and swims over to you, holding on lightly

A wave comes and lifts you both up on a small ride

You laugh, enjoying the simple fun together

You glance over at Ringo with a loving gaze, as you think to yourself how much you adore your little human

Ringo's silly laughter plays back in your mind, from all the countless times you've committed it to memory

He's quiet now as you wait on the next wave, "Hey, is something the matter?"

You clear your thoughts and hold him tightly one more time, smiling against his chest, "Not when I'm with you"

#the beatles #john lennon x reader #paul mccartney x reader #ringo starr x reader #george harrison x reader #mermaid!reader #teddy!beatles #beatles imagines

[seokmingiggles]

rainbow.

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x female reader

Genre: angst, some scattered fluff, established relationship, soulmate!au (where you can see colour from the moment you meet your soulmate).

5.96k words

Warnings: brief mention of alcohol consumption, [spoilers: unmentioned illness (however, I allude to Lymphoma [a type of cancer] that has spread to other areas), major character death.]

There are countless tales of the lengths people go to when finding their soulmate, yet significantly fewer of the aftermath. You thought your life began when fate led you to your soulmate, but why does it feel like it’s ending all of a sudden?

Alternatively, not all wishes come true. Even when Jungkook tries to convince you otherwise.

A/N: This piece is likely going to be my last longer one for a while as I’m returning back to school for my winter semester. Expect my updates to be significantly more sparse than they have been for the past few weeks. Other than that, I’m so glad I began to post my writings online. It’s still bizarre to me that actual people are reading them?? If you enjoy (or have constructive criticism for) any of my pieces, please, never be shy to let me know!! I absolutely adore hearing your opinion on what I’ve created. With that said, gosh, I cried while doing my research to write this one.

If you are looking for a cute, fluffy soulmate!au, this may not be a suitable fic for you. Yes, there are some fluffy moments, but it overall contains heavy themes that may be triggering to some. If you’re looking for a fluffy soulmate!Jungkook drabble, the first portion of 1k words contains no angst, along with the three italicized sections.

•• Your soulmate. Soulmate. Even the word sounded magical; a mate bound to your soul.

Growing up, you were the cliché little girl who would endlessly dream about seeing colour for the first time at the instant your eyes locked with a certain someone across the room. Just imagining some above force drawing you to them sounded magical.

And, to a certain extent, it did happen that way when you met yours.

Not-exactly in the storybook-way you pictured, but you felt strangely drawn to a particular boy back in your second year of university. Your childhood friend, Chaeyoung, had convinced you to attend some end-of-semester party on campus. To be fair, that's where you met your other closest friend to this day.

The boy was sat on a couch, looking uninterested and unimpressed by the events happening around him. Chaeyoung, as much as you love her, had run off with another one of her classmates, leaving you floundering in the pool of sweaty bodies and loud music. So, you made your way to the sofa and sat next to the expressionless boy, who you came to know as Yeosang.

You didn't expect him to begin talking to you with the blank gaze he was displaying prior to you taking a seat, but you're happy it turned out that way. After that party, Yeosang joined your duo with Chaeyoung; the three of you would come to have plenty of fun together.

Though, it was at that same party where you also met Jungkook.

After chatting with Yeosang for who knows how long, your small bladder eventually needed relief from the few drinks you had. You excused yourself and wandered around the unfamiliar house in search of a bathroom. It was a large space with multiple floors, perhaps belonging to one of your campus fraternities, but you found yourself walking like you knew exactly where to go.

You ended up upstairs, where it was significantly more quiet than the bustling main floor. Only a few scattered couples kissing in the hallways or leading another to someone's bedroom crossed your path.

You managed to find a vacant washroom, much to your delight. But upon opening the bathroom door after you had finished, you were met with a handsome—albeit unfamiliar—face.

And also with a flood of colour for the first time in your life.

You and the stranger were both dumbfounded for a moment. It was only until he broke the silence and said, "Look, you don't know how happy I am to have found you, but I really, really, need to pee. So, if you don't mind–"

Those were the first words that Jungkook had spoken to you.

And in that instant, despite the slightly awkward, non-picture-perfect meeting, you were nothing less than smitten from that day forth.

Things between you and Jungkook went swimmingly after your first introductions. You two were soulmates; after all, it was only natural to get along. You had more in common with the boy than you would have guessed.

Your first couple of dates were much better than anything you had imagined them to be. Despite the cheesiness of a dinner and a movie for your first date or the loudness of your second arcade date, you were already looking forward to spending a future with Jungkook.

The first time he kissed you was like nothing else you've ever felt. Fireworks were an understatement. It was like all the stars in the universe had aligned perfectly, and all you could see were each and every constellation in Jungkook's eyes the moment he pulled away.

You were far beyond smitten at that point.

But what you didn't expect upon meeting Jungkook was how your vision would be impacted so greatly. Yes, you had heard about how wonderful a world of colour was, and yes, that was one of the things you had been looking forward to upon finding your soulmate; however, you could never have imagined just how vibrant the world really was.

You knew you were lucky to find your soulmate in your twenties. There were too many people who went countless years or even their whole lives without finding theirs, and you happened to meet yours only after a couple of decades into your life. It made you excited to spend the rest of your time by Jungkook's side. It would be a future where both of you would admire the process of the sky: shifting its palette in the evening to paint the clouds in an awe-inspiring gradient. Or seeing the luscious ruby-red strawberries adorning his favourite cake on each of his birthdays as the years passed together. Seeing the swirling brown of his irises, too, was one of your favourite sights after being able to see colour.

Your life became nothing short of a rainbow. Every day felt magical being with Jungkook; being with your soulmate.

Before you knew it, you celebrated your first year together. Then two. Then a few more until you both graduated from university. You eventually found a little apartment to call home at around the same time; it made sense to move in together. Previously, both of you had roommates during your schooling years. Although now, living together only seemed natural when you knew you'd eventually get married one day.

And living with Jungkook was nothing but natural.

Waking up next to your boyfriend was better than you could have imagined. Seeing his cute, groggy face puffy with sleep was the most endearing thing to you, and he thought the exact same way when he'd wake before you on the rare occasion.

It was like a little insight into how the rest of your life would be.

Your heart would uncontrollably flutter every time Jungkook would approach you from behind and gently wrap his arms around your torso as you worked at the stove. Or the way he'd sometimes comb your damp hair after a shower, making sure to pepper little kisses to your neck or cheek in the process. Your heart had never felt so full until Jungkook had unexpectedly made his way into your life.

And you're forever elated that he did.

•

"Which one do you think looks better on me?" Chaeyoung held up two shirts to her torso.

You examined both pieces and felt the fabric before saying, "I think I prefer the red one," referring to the shirt on the left.

You and your two best friends were spending a sunny day off just wandering around the streets downtown. It was your chance to explore the little cafes you would keep driving by or window-shopping at the cute boutiques you'd see. Chaeyoung had dragged you and Yeosang into one of the stores when a mannequin's outfit in the display case caught her eye.

"No, I think the blue one is nicer," Yeosang interjected as he pointed to the second option.

You hummed, reconsidering your answer, "Actually, yeah, you're right. I think you should get the blue one."

Chaeyoung inspected both tops once more, "Okay, blue it is."

The three of you walked to the cashier for the girl to make her purchase, leaving the store shortly after to continue on your way.

"You're both so lucky to have found your soulmates already," she beamed at the two of you as you passed by another shop.

"You'll find yours eventually, Chae," Yeosang added. "Seeing colour for the first time will blow your mind."

You only nodded in agreement and returned their smiles.

Your stomach had been feeling slightly off since this morning, but you ignored the feeling in pursuit of seeing your friends for the first time in a while. Yet now, the unsettling feeling seemed to be growing stronger.

"Hey, guys," you rubbed the back of your neck, "I'm not feeling too well all of a sudden. I think I might be coming down with something. I'm sorry to ditch you so early, but I should head home."

"Do you want a ride back?" Yeosang offered, being the only of the three of you to have a car.

"No, it's okay. The bus runs pretty frequently. I don't want to bother you."

You waved goodbye before either of them had a chance to protest and began walking to the nearest bus stop.

You weren't necessarily feeling sick; that was a lie. Or, rather, you suddenly felt like you had been struck by a tsunami. An overwhelming sensation of swirling nauseousness and anxiety began brewing beneath your skin. You clasped your hands together to prevent them from visibly shaking once you'd taken a seat on the bus.

You were uncertain of what was happening to you so suddenly.

However, you did know that that shirt looked awfully grey, not blue.

Now that you think of it, the sky above you appeared duller too.

•

"Hey, Guk, come look at this!"

Jungkook followed the sound of your voice and turned down the neighbouring aisle, only to see you holding up a folded square of checkered material.

"It's on clearance, too!" you said with excitement.

Your boyfriend stepped closer to you and took the blanket into his hands. "What is it?"

"What do you mean, 'What is it?' It's a picnic blanket, you goof," you took the square and flipped it over to see the image on the cardboard package of how it would look unfolded. "I've always thought the idea of those picnic dates is adorable. Cheesy, but adorable."

Jungkook admired your smile as you continued to read the supposed 'features' of the blanket.

"It's got a water-resistant bottom all while the top is a thick and soft flannel. It's also apparently easily foldable with a carrying strap." You continued to scan the list of details, "And look, it's machine washable! I think it's a good one." You turned your attention to the boy stood next to you, "What do you think?"

Jungkook wouldn't have been able to wipe the adoring smile off his face no matter how hard he tried.

"You're so cute," he mumbled and pulled you into a hug in the middle of the store.

"That's nice," your voice was muffled against Jungkook's chest, "but what do you think of the blanket?" You wiggled your arm free from his hold to display the picnic blanket once more, examining his face for his reaction.

Jungkook felt the fabric before saying, “It's soft. Yeah, I think it's a good one.”

“'It's soft,'” you repeated his statement. "That's all you have to say about it?"

"I can't say I'm a connoisseur of picnic blankets or anything, my love."

"Well, neither am I, but I'm sure I can think of more adjectives to describe it other than 'it's soft.'"

The boy encouraged you to come up with some.

"For starters, look how colourful it is! It's like a plaid rainbow in a fun little bundle."

Your words made Jungkook laugh, causing you to giggle too.

"Okay," you admitted, "maybe I'm no picnic blanket connoisseur either."

Jungkook admired your rosy cheeks from laughing. "Let's buy it," he said. "Going on picnics with you sounds like fun." He pulled you close once more, "Actually, anything as long as I'm with you sounds like fun."

“Does that mean you’ll sleepover tonight?”

The boy pretended like it was some philosophical question before breaking out into a smile, “Yeah, I’ll sleepover tonight.”

•

You did your best to keep that instance of a colourless sky and grey shirt to yourself for days. When Yeosang and Chaeyoung texted you later that day to check on you, you told them you felt better after having a nap.

And it was true, but not the full truth.

You blamed what you saw on a lack of sleep. It was just your tired eyes playing tricks on you; it had to have been. That previous night, you and Jungkook had gotten distracted by watching a few episodes of a show together, not realizing how late it had become.

So, when you went to lie down upon returning to your apartment that afternoon, you silently prayed that when you'd wake, you'd be able to see a complete colour spectrum once more.

It only broke your heart when that wasn't the case.

You crumpled onto the floor after staring up at the monochromatic sky extending above you; not an ounce of blue could be found between the clouds, nor all the way to the horizon.

You were dreading talking with Jungkook about it.

The day you first were able to see in colour when you met him, never did you anticipate that one day they would begin to fade.

Could you have rushed into things too quickly? Did you love him more than he loves you?

Has he fallen out of love with you?

Regardless of the possibility, seeing the colours begin to disappear couldn't have meant anything good.

That's when you'd decided to hide it from anyone, especially from the boy you loved with nothing less than your full heart and entire being.

Perhaps feigning ignorance could make the hue return. At the least, it was wishful thinking.

When Jungkook returned home that evening, you pretended like nothing was wrong. When he'd asked about your outings with your best friends, you'd said how nice it was to see them again.

You even showed him the nail polish you bought for him when the other week he said how he was interested in trying some for himself; after seeing your nails decorated so prettily.

Despite the name of the bottle's shade reading Ebony Midnight, you found yourself doubting the colour. You second-guessed if it actually was black like you intended or some confusing and ambiguous tint of navy blue.

Jungkook kissed your cheek and told you how excited he was for the upcoming weekend when you'd have the time to paint his nails for him.

Yet, a few days later—on both of your days off—when your boyfriend came up to you with the nail polish bottle in hand, you found yourself brimming with tears uncontrollably.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong, love?"

You stepped back from Jungkook's advancement towards you.

"(Y/N)?"

His eyes held nothing but concern for you, and yet you still doubted his authenticity.

"Jungkook," you whispered, "what colour is that nail polish?"

The boy examined the small glass bottle. "It's black," he said like it was an obvious fact. He looked at it closer. "Wait, no, it almost looks dark blue in certain lighting."

All of the oxygen depleted from your lungs. You clasped your hand around your mouth as you wept, your eyes clamping shut both in frustration and in fear.

You felt Jungkook's arms wrap around you, pulling you into his chest and gently rubbing your back.

"Please," his voice was small, "can you tell me what's wrong? If it's because you got blue when I asked for black, that's not a big deal, love. I'm so happy you remembered when I told you about it. And I still want to use it! I could barely tell when I looked at it–"

"I can't see blue anymore."

Jungkook halted his ministrations on your back, tensing at your words.

"And I'm afraid to know what it means," you continued, struggling to find your words. "Do you not love me anymore? Am I not really your soulmate?"

Your boyfriend pulled away slightly so he could look at your face properly; tear-stained and all. "(Y/N), please. I love you more than anything in this world. Never forget that." He brushed away a stray tear falling down your cheek.

"Then why are my colours fading? I've never heard of that happening before..." You furrowed your eyebrows in thought. Another reason suddenly popped into your head. "Unless–"

You didn't let yourself finish that sentence. Your eyes met Jungkook's only to find his expression had become more solemn.

"No," you whispered. "Please, no. Don't tell me– I-It can't be–"

Jungkook said nothing and pulled you back closer to him. You squeezed the boy so tightly, sobs shaking your body. He hugged you back as he silently began to cry.

"Could we not talk about it right now?" his voice was quiet. "We're still doing some tests to rule out what it could be, so I don't have much information for you."

You nodded your head.

The two of you stayed in each other's embrace. Jungkook swayed your bodies slightly: a gentle rocking motion to help calm you down.

"Can you still paint my nails today?"

You forced a smile on your face over the tears that had spilled and were threatening to continue. "Of course."

You took Jungkook's hand and made your way to the couch, swallowing nausea from the information with which you'd just been burdened. While it was vague, it was heavy, nonetheless.

That night, you were having difficulties falling asleep. Jungkook kept tossing and turning by your side; he'd kick and move the blanket around too.

"Hey," you whispered, finding his shoulder in the darkness. "Are you okay?"

Jungkook sighed and brought his hand on top of yours, "I'm really warm. Too warm."

You could feel the clamminess of his hand.

"And I keep feeling itchy," he added. "The blanket isn't helping—it's making me warm and itchy and–"

"Okay, okay," you soothed him before he'd become too frustrated. You sat up and removed the duvet from his body. "Do you think a cool shower would help?"

There was silence while Jungkook thought. He rubbed his tired eyes and replied, "I can try," before standing from the bed.

"Hey," you grabbed his hand before he could walk away, "I love you."

"I love you too."

You heard the smile in his voice.

"Now, get some sleep, beautiful," Jungkook leant down to place one kiss on your forehead, then one to your lips.

You listened to the sound of your boyfriend's footsteps receding from your bedroom. Shortly after, the faucet came to life, and finally, the sound of the shower curtain dragged closed.

What you didn't hear was Jungkook allowing himself to cry in the shower.

•

The weather had been stormier lately.

Jungkook was waiting to surprise you with an adorable, little picnic to celebrate your university graduation; however, the weather had other plans.

There were some days where he'd check the weather forecast multiple times to see if there would be an upcoming opportunity to see clear skies and sunshine.

But every time, he was met with that dull, grey rain symbol on his phone.

Jungkook had had enough. Screw the weather, he thought, we'll have this goddamn picnic if it's the last thing I do; indoors if we must.

You were sleeping in on the day after your last exam. It gave your boyfriend the optimal chance to set up your living room with the checkered blanket and wicker basket after running out quickly to get some flowers. The boy had an artistic eye. After pushing aside some of the remaining cardboard boxes from the move, he was proud of the final arrangement of breakfast foods and the occasional tasteful scattered petal on the blanket. He even took advantage of some of the smaller pillows from the couch to make the set-up even cozier.

Jungkook began to anticipate your reaction, growing gradually more excited. He carefully made his way to your shared bedroom to wake you from your peaceful slumber.

"(Y/N)," he cooed, brushing away some stray hairs that fell onto your face while you slept.

You hummed at the feeling of his touch, slowly adjusting to the light seeping through the curtains. Once your eyes finally opened, you were met with Jungkook's affectionate gaze at you.

"Good morning, my beautiful love," he leant down to peck you.

"Gross!" you pushed him away, jokingly. "You're not allowed to kiss me until I've brushed my teeth." You sat up with a playful grin on your face. You lifted your arms, "Carry me?"

Jungkook chuckled as he stood from the bed, "Oh, so you call me gross, but now you want me to carry you to the bathroom?"

Despite his words, the boy moved in to wrap his arms around your torso, effectively picking you up.

"No, I wasn't calling you gross," you said as he brought you to the washroom, "it was the act of kissing me with my yucky morning breath. That was gross."

Jungkook placed you down once you were in the room. His arms never left your sides.

"I don't suppose you're going to ask if I can brush your teeth for you too, are you?"

You picked up your toothbrush, wetting the bristles and adding some toothpaste, "So sassy today, Guk," and began brushing your teeth.

The boy only smiled, wrapping his arms around you once again and squeezing your smaller frame in his strong embrace.

Once you finished washing up, Jungkook told you to close your eyes as he pulled you into the living room, bursting with excitement.

"Promise me you won't make me run into the couch or a wall or box or something," you mumbled as he pulled on your free hand; your other one was covering your eyes.

Jungkook giggled but complied with your promise.

Eventually, you felt him stop in front of you, making sure you wouldn't crash into his back. Beneath your feet, you felt the cold wooden floor of your living room.

"You can open them now," he muttered into your ear along with a gentle kiss.

And when you did, you saw the beautiful arrangement of treats and flowers all sat upon the old picnic blanket, surrounded by the final few boxes you'd yet to unpack. It was the same blanket you bought before you moved in together when you claimed that you'd love to go on a picnic date with him one day.

When you made that purchase, never would you have guessed that its first use would be in your newly-shared apartment inside on a rainy day.

"What's all this for?" you felt strangely emotional at the sentiment.

"It's for you, (Y/N)," he pulled you into his arms once more. "Happy graduation. I'm so proud of you."

Jungkook leaned down to kiss you properly for the first time that morning. His thumb traced the shell of your ear as he smiled into the kiss, feeling the way one of your hands clasped the back of his shirt while your other one threaded through his hair.

"You're incredible, Jungkook," you whispered as you broke from the kiss. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," he returned the sentiment and gave you another quick kiss. He took your hand and led you onto the blanket where you sat side-by-side.

"You know," you began as he mixed around the assorted fruits he chopped up earlier, "if we had a dog like you said you wanted, all this food wouldn't have been able to be left out on the floor."

Jungkook stopped fiddling with the fruit salad as he processed your words. "I still want a dog," he said simply and continued to stir. "But you're right. It would be a lot more challenging," he fed you a strawberry, "like having a baby."

"Dogs are like big babies," you chimed-in with a smile.

The two of you continued to snack while sat on the blanket. Small conversations and giggles were all that could be heard within the walls of your apartment. The atmosphere was significantly brighter than the downpour that continued outside.

"Do you think we'll see a rainbow today?" Jungkook asked as you both were now leaning against the base of the couch.

You were still clad in your pyjamas and him in his leisurewear.

"Maybe, if this rain ever stops," you replied. "Maybe if the sun shows itself."

"Maybe."

Jungkook brought the back of your hand to his lips, then laced his fingers between yours while the two of you continued to watch the rain.

•

"Do you have any nail polish remover?"

You heard Jungkook's footsteps approaching you in your bedroom, looking up to see his figure appearing in the doorway.

"Are you tired of how it looks already?" you smiled gently at him.

The boy shook his head. "Actually, I'm not allowed to have painted nails for tomorrow when I go to the hospital."

Your smile faded. "Oh, right. T-that's right. Um..." you got off the bed and trekked to the bathroom with Jungkook in tow. You opened the cabinet beneath the sink to find the little bottle. "Here you go. I have some cotton balls too to use with it. Do you need help with this too?"

"No, I should be able to do it myself."

"Okay," your hand found its way onto Jungkook's back, your thumb rubbed his shoulder. "Make sure you do it in a well-ventilated area."

"Thank you," he smiled.

Yet, you could tell his expression was only fleeting.

You were afraid. No, you were petrified of what tomorrow would bring.

Jungkook had been going through more testing lately, although you were still in the dark from it all. He kept giving you the same statements: "We're still figuring out what it could be," or "We're still not sure yet."

They were all just different versions of "I don't want to tell you because I don't want to worry you."

You still worried regardless.

You and Jungkook stood by the front door where you hugged him before he left for his recurrent hospital visit.

"Maybe you could paint my nails again when I come home tonight," he suggested, inhaling the scent of your shampoo for his memory as he held you in his embrace.

"Maybe," you replied, trying to keep your voice steady.

Before you knew it, Jungkook was once again out the door.

It was only when you were alone that you'd let yourself cry. You knew you needed to stay strong for his sake. Being on the receiving end of a life-threatening disease was hard enough; you didn't want to make his experience any more challenging. Although, you still didn't know for sure if that's what it was.

Jungkook exited his car once he arrived at the familiar tall building. He stepped into the elevator and pressed the familiar button, and eventually turned left down the familiar hallway to the waiting room.

He was shortly after ushered into his doctor's office, taking a seat in the squeaky and uncomfortable and all-too-familiar grey chair.

His doctor soon after entered the room.

"How are you feeling today, Jungkook?" she greeted him with a gentle voice, taking a seat in front of her desk in the corner of the room.

"My headaches are becoming more frequent," he began. "I also haven't had much of an appetite either, and sometimes, it's difficult to breathe," he stated with furrowed eyebrows. "I've overall felt more tired lately. That might be the biggest thing—my lack of energy."

Dr. Kim hummed and jotted down some notes. "Have you told your soulmate anything yet?"

Jungkook shook his head, "No, I try not to. I don't want to stress her."

The doctor sat upright once again, finishing her writings. "You may want to reconsider that choice," she cleared her throat. "Your cells haven't been responding to the antibiotics as we'd like them to. Perhaps, if we had caught it sooner–"

"But we didn't." Jungkook's voice was firm. "We didn't, and this is my life now. We try, and we fail, and we repeat the cycle over and over." He took a deep breath. "As soon as you told me the diagnosis, I suspected I wouldn't make it for much longer. I suspected that I wouldn't get to live the future that I've dreamt of." His features softened as you entered his mind. "The future that I've wished for." Jungkook paused, then considered, "Can I spend my final days—however long I have—with my soulmate?"

Dr. Kim's eyes remained on Jungkook's. "Are you certain? Because there's another procedure we could try. It would require you to stay here in the hospital, and there would be risks associated with it due to the stage you're in, but it's the last one we can offer you."

"I'm sure." The boy didn't hesitate. "I'm positive. I just want to be with her," he felt himself tearing up. "She already knows that something is wrong. I don't want to tell her that my MRI is practically all made up of black-voids." Jungkook bitterly wiped away the tear that fell, "She's losing her colours. She knows I'm dying."

"So you'd like to spend the rest of your time at home with her?" Dr. Kim clarified.

"More than anything."

•

"Surprise!"

Jungkook's hands lifted from your eyes.

"What's all of this?" you asked with a smile.

"For you, silly."

You giggled, looking between the array of treats displayed on the picnic blanket and your beautiful boyfriend. "I kind of figured that, Guk. But why?"

"Do I need a reason to treat you, my love?" Jungkook pulled you close to him, "I felt bad about the last time when we were stuck inside from the rain. I wanted to try again, properly, this time."

"But do you see all of this?" You gestured to the container next to you, "We couldn't finish everything you prepared last time, but you still got a cake for today! Do you expect the two of us to eat an entire cake along with everything else you've packed?"

The boy chuckled, "Come on, (Y/N), it's not that big of a cake. I'm sure we can finish it all no problem." He popped open the plastic container, eager to taste it. "And if not, then we'll have some to eat for tomorrow."

His logic was reasonable, you considered.

Jungkook picked up a fork and dug it into the side of the strawberry cake, only to bring the utensil up to your lips to give you the first bite.

"How is it?" your boyfriend asked, trying to gauge your expression as you chewed.

"Absolutely delicious," was your muffled response.

Jungkook reached up to wipe off the speck of whipped cream from the corner of your mouth before feeding himself a forkful.

"It is delicious!" he said with delight as the strawberry flavour danced across his tastebuds. "I may not know how to make a cake, but I sure know how to pick a good one."

"Ah, yes, picking good cakes is a valuable life skill to have," you playfully teased, admiring the way Jungkook continued to inhale more of the dessert.

The two of you laid back on the blanket after working your way through some of the treats (and about half of the cake; it was more than you anticipated you two would be able to finish in one sitting). Your head was resting on Jungkook's chest while he played with the ends of your hair as the two of you admired the heavens.

The sky was immaculately blue with picture-perfect white fluffy clouds decorating it. Jungkook was getting nervous when he woke up to rain that morning, knowing he had all of the preparations ready for the picnic. But now, the post-rain summer afternoon left a comfortable temperature with the sun high in the sky, warming the grass and gradually working its way to kiss the horizon.

"Hey, (Y/N)?"

You glanced upwards from your position on Jungkook's upper body.

His eyes remained fixated on the sky as he asked softly, "Would you like to get married?"

The grin on your face was immediate at hearing his question. "Without a doubt, yes."

Jungkook beamed back at you and hugged you tightly, kissing the top of your head.

"This isn't a proposal because I don't have the ring yet," he muttered into your hair, "but you already make me the happiest man alive. I can only imagine how incredible our future will be, (Y/N)." You felt him squeeze you slightly tighter. "There's nothing more that I want than to grow old with you by my side."

You felt yourself getting emotional at his words. "When the time comes that you do propose, know that it's already a yes." You propped yourself up so you could move to meet Jungkook's mouth with your own, caressing the side of his face while his hand continued to fiddle with your hair.

Jungkook grinned into the kiss. In all the years he's spent kissing you, the act never failed to pull butterflies from his chest.

You eventually pulled away only to see the light pink dusting across your boyfriend's cheeks with matching rosy lips. You could spend all day admiring him, and he, likewise, could do the same with watching you.

You once again nuzzled into his side with an arm around his torso, returning your gaze to the sky. It was beginning to shift into a radiant, golden-colour the lower the sun fell; the clouds reflected the light, displaying a gentle wash of coral-pink.

You're forever grateful for all of the dazzling colours which Jungkook brought into your life.

Goosebumps tingled throughout your body at the way the boy so gently grazed his fingers along your arm. The outside air was growing chillier with the depleting sunlight, yet being pressed against Jungkook supplied you with enough warmth to stay comfortable.

"Hey, look over there," your boyfriend indicated to your left. "Do you see that?"

You lifted your gaze to above where he was pointing.

•

There was a rainbow in the sky on the day that Jungkook died.

You received the dreadful phone call from the hospital early that afternoon. You thought he'd only stepped out for his usual testing. You had been admiring the way the sun finally broke through the dense rain clouds as you were waiting for his return home.

However, minutes before your phone rang, your whole world drained of colour. It was the difference between one blink. One split-second; one moment. You could see the golden sunbeams as they danced down to the concrete below, and then, suddenly, you couldn't. Everything became a varying shade of the asphalt; every hue vanished in that instant.

It was only a few weeks after you painted his nails for the first and last time. Of course, there was no way you'd have known it was the last time then.

Your heart tore into two at thinking how much pain Jungkook must have experienced near the end. He never once complained to you about any of it; he never told you what was wrong. You only found out afterwards from his doctor over the phone.

You nearly missed the sight of the rainbow after you set your phone down: the arc extended above the city in its monochromatic glory in the equally colourless sky.

You could recall the different hues that would make up the once pretty sight.

"You should make a wish, (Y/N)!"

"Make a wish on a rainbow?"

"You've never heard of that before?"

You pulled your eyes from the sight in the sky to your boyfriend's face, "No, never."

"Then today shall be your first."

"Hm, well, alright, Guk."

You sat up on the picnic blanket and clasped your hands together, pressing your eyes shut as you reiterated your wish in your head. Upon opening your eyes once you finished, you were blessed with Jungkook's delicate features gazing at you.

You brushed away some of his hair that fell into his eyes.

"What did you wish for, my love?" Jungkook whispered, leaning into your touch.

You exchanged his glance, admiring his beautiful brown eyes smiling at you, and inched closer so you could kiss him.

But now, you kind of hated rainbows.

"I wished to spend a lifetime with you."

They reminded you of your wishes that would, now, never come true.

"I wished for the exact same thing."

••

#jeon jungkook #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook scenario #jeon jungkook imagines #jeon jungkook imagine #jeon jungkook angst #jeon jungkook fanfic #jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook scenario #jungkook imagines #jungkook imagine #jungkook angst #jungkook soulmate au #bts #bts x reader #bts imagine #bts imagines #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction

[niksixx]

Plus One

Welcome to part 5 of Plus One. We are approaching the end of this mini fic, but do not worry my loves. We still have a few parts left. I hope you enjoy part 5, and please remember to leave comments, reblog, and add tags. It motivates me to continue writing for you all. 💜

Note: Just a reminder, though this fic may seem fast, it takes place over the course of a few months!! 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Pia’s POV*

Eight bright, colorful beanbags are scattered around the floor in a private room at the back end of the library. It’s quiet, far away from small children who squeal excitedly when they spot their favorite comic book and a good distance away from the college students who gather at the old wooden tables to recite chemistry flashcards in one big study group.

Black coffee and burnt wood is the signature smell of the book club room. Only a few windows are open, allowing just a bit of sunshine and breeze to fill the room. The aura is comforting.

“Okay, everyone,” I say, setting the book in my lap. I believe The Catcher in the Rye is a classic, but various opinions, both positive and negative, have been directed toward the book over the years. Romance is the genre I’ve always been drawn to, fiction or nonfiction, but I can certainly appreciate a coming-of-age novel. “How did we feel about the story?”

Margaret, an elderly woman with curly gray hair and silver glasses, raises her hand timidly. It’s the first time she has volunteered to speak since the start of our club. I give her an encouraging smile, nodding. “I enjoyed it very much, though it was slow at times.”

A small contribution, but a contribution nonetheless. “Thank you Margaret. Would anyone else like to share?”

Shayne, a third-year college student, wiggles his fingers and clears his throat. “I would.” He snaps the book shut with one hand. “The book itself is enjoyable. There’s a lot of important themes that are entwined in the storyline. But Holden, and let me be clear, I feel terrible for saying this about a sixteen-year-old, was insufferable.”

“I thought I was the only one who thought so!” Stacy chirps from her beanbag. The thirty-year old mother of two crosses her ankles, drumming her fingers on the spine of her novel. “I was under the impression that Holden believed he was better than everyone else. His personality alone was enough to make me despise the book and it’s a shame. I wanted to love it.”

“That’s an interesting point, Stacy.” Setting my book on the ground, I adjust my legs deeper into the beanbag while the rest of the book club eagerly sits forward, awaiting my response. “And this is why I love reading so much. Whether the story is true or not, we know Holden Caulfield is not a real person, though there have been assumptions that J.D. Salinger modeled Holden after himself. Stacy, you said that Holden’s personality gave you enough reason to not enjoy the book. We certainly have to appreciate Salinger’s talent as an author. He was able to create a character that made you feel such strong emotions.” The club nods in agreement before I continue. “Now Shayne, you mentioned themes. Explain a bit more for me.”

“Gladly,” he answers eagerly. “Innocence. It’s the main theme. Holden, for lack of a better term, is obsessed with the preservation of childhood innocence. I do think that’s admirable, and while he was intolerable in my opinion, I can understand his desire to conserve one’s purity.”

“I assume there’s going to be a but in your next statement,” Charlie pipes up with a chuckle. The forty-seven year old retired firefighter wears a kind smile on his face.

“But,” Shayne smirks and holds up a finger. “Holden is one big contradiction, and here’s why. We know how much Holden hated the adult world and it’s “phoniness”. It’s the whole reason he wanted to preserve innocence wherever he could. Holden himself was a phony, a fake. He condemns adulthood but is seemingly unaware of his own phoniness. I now hate this word, by the way.”

A collective chuckle sounds in the room. I shake my head but can’t help the growing smile. The book club has been the highlight of my week so far.

“Anyway,” Shayne continues. “He’s deceptive and a compulsive liar. Holden is the epitome of what he hates.”

“That is a fantastic observation, Shayne, and thank you for sharing.” He bows dramatically before slinking back deeper into the beanbag. “Before we conclude our meeting and I introduce our new book, I have a question. Does anyone know why Holden’s name is symbolic to the story?”

I can see the wheels turning in their brains, and for a moment I think I’ve stumped them. Charlie looks like he wants to answer, but nothing comes out of his mouth. I take the chance to speak up. “First, does anyone know what a caul is?”

Stacy’s hand shoots up in the air. “I think I learned about this in one of my birthing classes but forgive me if I’m wrong. But isn’t the caul a part of the amnion that protects an unborn baby? Near the head, right?”

I snap my finger and point to Stacy excitedly. “Yes! And what does the name Holden sound like?”

“Holden...hold...en...hold...hold on?” Charlie asks skeptically.

“Exactly right,” I grin proudly. “Put it all together.”

“Oh my gosh,” Margaret says softly. Everyone turns toward the older woman. “In the book there was mention of Holden imagining children frolicking in a rye field. I just realized it now. He’s the catcher in the rye field, protecting the children. Holden Caulfield. Hold on to childhood innocence.”

I grin wildly, clapping along with the rest of the book club members. “Incredible, Margaret. You’re exactly right.”

“So, what’s our next book?” Shayne asks, hands tapping his thighs. “I’m feeling a mystery book.”

“Or Sci-Fi,” Charlie answers.

“Oooo, Sci-Fi,” Shayne murmurs excitedly.

“Neither,” I say, giggling at their frowns. From my purse, I pull out a purple paperback book and show it to the group. “Historical fiction mixed with romance. Our next book is The Madness of Lord Ian Mackenzie. I’ve never heard of it, so I’m sure you haven’t either. It’s about the same length as The Catcher in the Rye, maybe only a few pages more. Let’s all try to read the first five chapters and we’ll meet again next week.”

Stacy, Charlie, and Margaret bid farewell. Shayne stays back with me, shooting me a smirk as I gather my belongings. “Another romance novel, huh? Something you’d like to share with the class? Maybe his name?”

A slow smile spreads across my lips. I sling my purse over my shoulder, clamping a hand down on Shayne’s. “He’s a dream, Shayne. I’ve known him forever, but it’s finally official,” Two months ago, I used to cringe on the word official when it wasn’t. It still isn’t, but something between us feels different, feels real. The more I’m with him, the more I don’t want to pretend.

Shayne slings an arm around my shoulder, leading me out of the room. He’s had his fair share of relationship issues as well, but at twenty-one, he’s still young. “I’m glad one of us isn’t having boy trouble. Philip called me the other day, said he wants to get back together.”

“Are you going to?”

Shayne makes a face, opening the front door of the library. He scoots aside, letting me walk first. “Hell no, Sweets. He was a terrible boyfriend,” Shayne considers for a moment. “At least the sex was good. You think he’d settle for friends with benefits?”

I laugh heartily, pushing Shayne’s shoulder. “That’s a recipe for disaster, my friend. You want my advice? Spend some time on yourself. Find out what you really want in life.”

I head off to my car, Shayne walking the opposite way to his. Before I can slide into the seat, Shayne calls out to me. “Is he the one?”

I don’t have to think about it. It comes out naturally. “Without a doubt.”

~~~

Janielle has outdone herself, but I never expected anything less. Desserts are on every counter in her kitchen, from cupcakes to brownies and pastries. Outside on the back deck, a long white table is filled from end to end with finger foods and appetizers. With a beer in his hand, Dominic flips burgers expertly at the grill, shooting his wife a goofy grin when she utters a stern ‘be careful’. The rest of the adults gather on the patio, laughing and drinking, while the kids swim excitedly in the pool.

It’s the hottest day in August so far, and I can’t tell if my cheeks are red from the heat or from my constant ogling of Nikki’s shirtless chest. I watch from the deck as Nikki, Vince, and Amanda clink their bottles together and down their drinks. Nikki wins, throwing his hands up in the air dramatically, before turning his head to shoot me a wink. I laugh and shake my head, holding up my glass of wine that is still half full.

“So, you and Sixx,” My laughter is cut off by Dom, whose eyes twinkle with the same amusement present in his voice. “How about that?”

My stomach flips just at the mention of Nikki. “Going on almost four months,” I answer proudly, swirling the wine in my glass. “We’ve got nothing on you and Janielle, though.”

Dom smirks, carefully plating more burgers. I take the plate from him, and he nods in thanks. “Hey, not everyone knows who they’re going to marry at sixteen years old.”

This time, my heart beats faster just at the brief mention of marriage. I try not to let myself think of a long-term commitment with Nikki just yet. To everyone else, we’ve been official for a few months. But to myself and Nikki, we’re just two best friends playing a role.

“It’s too early to talk about marriage just yet,” I reply with a soft grin.

“But it’s a possibility in the future, yes?” Dom asks, stacking the last few burgers on the plate.

All I can answer with is a subtle nod just before I feel an arm snake around my waist. I crane my neck to glance up at Nikki just as his lips press a kiss to my jaw. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Dom’s lazy smile and it puts me at ease knowing that Nikki and I have done our job at convincing everyone that what’s between us is true.

“Hi gorgeous,” Nikki greets breathily. “You doing okay?”

“Never better,” I answer truthfully, leaning back into his chest. I hand off the plate of burgers to Dom before directing my attention back to Nikki. “Are you?”

Nikki nods, arm tightening around my waist. “I’m perfect.” He holds up three empty beer bottles. “Come with me?”

I nod and take his hand, letting him lead me into the kitchen. While Nikki rummages through Janielle’s fridge for more beer, I steal a cannoli from the dessert tray, biting into the sweet cream.

“I’m having so much fun with you,” I blurt out honestly, licking the cream from my lips.

For a brief second, something flashes across Nikki’s face, almost as if my statement mimicked a bitter taste in his mouth. It’s gone just as fast as it came, replaced by an easy smile. “I am too, P.”

I bite my lip as Nikki opens the three bottles, eyes lingering on his tattooed arms. He catches me, smirking. “Pretty girl, you’re not exactly trying to hide it, you know.”

I blush, looking away like I always do when a compliment from Nikki is directed my way. And because I look away, I miss Nikki freeze in alarm, eyes wide, studying me.

When I turn back around, I notice his lips are in a thin line, jaw clenched ever so slightly. “P, I think we need to talk about something.”

His voice is serious, more serious than it’s ever been, and momentarily I fear the worst. Nikki’s fingers fidget nervously, and I can tell whatever is on his mind has been there for quite some time. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah,” It’s not a convincing answer, but I don’t say anything as he continues. “It’s more of a question, actually.” His hands fall at his side as he steps forward, exhaling a strangled breath. “Are we...what we’re doing…” His voice goes low. “We’re still pretending, right?”

There’s a lump forming in my throat, and I try my best to speak around it without giving off the impression that I’m either extremely hopeful he wants to make this real, or going to start crying because he wants to call everything off. “Yeah. Unless…unless you don’t want to pretend--.”

“No, no,” He says all too quickly, hands skimming my arms. “I like pretending. Pretending is good, safe. I just...wanted to make sure we’re still on the same page.” He grabs my hands, pressing a gentle kiss to each, before grabbing the bottles from the counter.

And as he leaves Janielle’s kitchen with a smile, I’m left standing alone and more confused than I’ve ever been.

#nikki sixx #nikki sixx fanfiction #nikki sixx fanfic #nikki sixx fic #motley crue fanfiction #motley crue fanfic #Motley Crue #nikki sixx x oc #nikki sixx fluff #nikki sixx angst

[creativia10]

First Wip: Dukeceit Vs

Summary: Vigilante Janus has to deal with the chaos that is the newest villain wreaking havoc. Yet they both find themselves drawn to one another.

Notes: I decided to go ahead and try posting some of these unfinished wips. This was actually one of the first fics I attempted to write after deciding I wanted to try and participate in Dukeceit week. I actually really liked this one. I think my original intention was for this to be for the Free day (although I ended up getting a lot of Dukeceit ideas that didn't fit into the prompts). I can see myself getting back to it eventually. Sorry for the abrupt cutoff it ends with at the moment.

Pairing: Janus x Remus

Word count: 2014

Warnings: implied background violence? , innuendos (implied kink), sexual tension

Janus nearly had to swerve as he felt his weight shifted into the wall of the building he was next to.

Well this was new.

Once he got his bearings, he carefully righted himself, testing that the ground was no longer shifting underneath him, and carefully made his way out of the alley he had changed in, still using the wall as a railing in case some other natural shift occurred. He peered out of the alley carefully, working into the natural suaveness his vigilante costume normally gave him.

The city…looked like a mess. He almost couldn’t begin to describe it. Roadways were shifted about, all sorts of objects were around in a disarray as though blown there. There were simultaneous evidence of flooding and fires. Janus had never before seen such a catastrophic mess left around. He wouldn’t have believed such a thing was there if he weren’t seeing it with his own eyes.

He sighed, and carefully stepped about to find the source of all this chaos. It didn’t take long for him to hear a maniacal cackle.

“Oh what fun!”

A man dressed in all black with accents in various outlandish neon colors was floating in the middle of the city, over what looked like swirling ground debris?

He was looking about, seeming to laugh at people’s reactions to the mess he had made. Attention at things such as people trying to fix wind ruined hair, and turning around as though dizzy in disbelief. He didn’t even seem to notice Janus at first.

Janus stepped up to him and cleared his throat.

“I’m not sure why I expected anything else, “ Janus said dryly. Of all things to say first to the new chaos.

The source of chaos turned to face Janus, and tilted his head, an unhinged twinkle to his eye before suddenly his earth twister collapsed and he landed right on the ground. There was an unpleasant sound as he landed, but the man didn’t seem phased as he looked over Janus. He had strange vibrant eyes, that gave Janus a radioactive feel.

“Hmm, you the goodie here to kill my buzz?”

Janus scoffed. “Gosh no. Do I look like a bright colored government ken doll? I clearly have way more class than them. I’m just someone who wants to make sure my life doesn’t get swept up in whatever craziness this is, and have the means to do so. I’d liked to see the end of the day, and I surely expected the road being twisted into a column is not going to be helpful to getting me to work tomorrow.”

The other just stared at him for a moment before he snorted.

“Ah, that’s a good one. See…I’m not done so,” He shrugged and went back to pointing around and zapping strange bouts of nature around the city.

“Are you even putting thought into what you’re doing?” Janus asked as he slyly brought himself closer.

“Or are you just doing your best to be an annoying menace to me?”

“Hmm,” he tapped his fingers to his lips, weird bits floating around.

“I mean, I didn’t have a particular plan, but I guess annoying you is a bonus.”

Just before Janus could pull out one of his weapons, a water tentacle slunk up from out of nowhere, and pulled him towards the black clad menace, wrapping him up and restraining him. The other laughed.

“Ah, now let’s have a looksy here.”

He walked around and seemed to be taking in Janus. Janus struggled and tried to get out of the hold, surprised there was such a firm pressure and that it was hard to break hold off. He wrinkled his nose when he got a whiff that suggested this water was not the cleanest.

“Hmm,” the villain was much closer now. Janus continued to struggle, glaring at the other, who simply smiled at him.

“Ok, “

Janus rolled his eyes. He concentrated, and Remus jumped at the unexpected slithering sensation around his ankle, which helped release Janus from the water hold.

Remus looked down to see the yellow and green snake there.

“Ah, you can summon snakes. Neato.” He then reached backward and got hold of Janus’ wrists before he could use the other snake like fanged object and surprisingly brought Janus up against his back, but he held the strength.

“Oh, snakey, if you wanted to wrap me up to bind me so badly, you only needed to ask.”

Janus grimaced and tried to break out of Menace’s hold, who in turn spun him around and pressed Janus back to his front this time. Menace made a sound somewhere between a growl and a purr.

“I say, I rather like you against me.”

Janus’ eyes widened, suddenly very aware of just how warm Menace’s body was against his. He tried to get ahold of his breath, struggling for a comeback.

“What, no quip back?” Menace asked, sounding far too pleased with himself.

Janus huffed out a breath and tried his other trick again.

“Oh, that’s not going to work on me, dear.” Menace said, even when snakes wrapped around his ankles.

“You’re not concerned about them being venomous?”

“You would kill me?”

“I’m a vigilante, I play by my own rules.”

“That wasn’t an answer~,” Menace sang. “And I’m sure this would be less fun if I died.”

“Who said anything about fun? That’s your thing.”

“Mhmm~. Sure.”

He leaned in some to whisper into Janus’ ear,

“Isn’t there a thrill to being close to a rival whose intentions you don’t know?”

For some reason, the way he said that gave Janus shivers. He quickly tried to think of something else he could summon to get him out of this position before he completely lost his composure.

“Aha!” A familiar voice cried.

“Release the snakey villain, you new fiend.”

However, the obnoxious ‘hero’s’ entrance gave Janus the distraction he needed. Janus stamped on Menace’s foot and elbowed him enough to be able to get out of his grasp. He turned to face him, eyes flashing.

Menace simply laughed.

“Oh.”

“Your villainous deeds have now come to an end now that I-“

Janus shot a gag at him.

Menace cackled.

“Didn’t expect you to do that.”

“He’s annoying.”

The hero wrestled the gag out and stamped his foot.

“Hey! I am trying to save the day!”

“Mhm, and I’m trying to cut down a pest, so out of my way.”

“As if I would let the sly likes of you determine your own moral law on how we retain the bads of this city!”

“Oh blah blah blah, gosh, does he always blather on like this?”

“Indeed.”

The hero gasped in offense.

“Anyways, I really did not come here to fight two people today. So if you’re determined, I’m gonna head out. “

“Aww, but you’re probably more fun to fight!”

Janus just stated at Menace for a moment.

“What?”

Menace laughed, and then zoomed away on another earth twister.

“Aren’t you gonna go after him?” Janus asked the hero.

“But first-“ the hero started.

Janus rolled his eyes. “Whatever.” He threw a smoke bomb and left before the hero could turn that into another needless battle, like he tended to do.

-

Janus wasn’t sure what he expected to come of that, but it wasn’t what ended up happening. For one, apparently Menace, as Janus had mentally dubbed him, was better at getting away than he thought. Janus wouldn’t put it past the hero’s incompetence either though, but it really wasn’t his business as long as the pest was done. Recurring villains, unless they were really powerful, were actually not a common thing where they were. Usually the villain would end up in jail. The hero, despite being annoying and over the top, was powerful, like a more dramatic superman. It was annoying often, say when Janus clearly had it against a villain, or the hero suddenly decided to fight him since his deeds were not always the most legal. Nevertheless, a villain being a child about who they wanted to fight was not common. For one thing, usually it was just the hero who fought the bad guys. Janus didn’t always go out of his way since he didn’t consider himself to be a universal do-gooder or anything like that.

Yet, this ‘Menace’ would show up at different parts of the city, bringing about his usual chaos, and almost actively ignored the hero. It was strange. Janus, begrudgingly, felt he needed to step in. The hero didn’t work well with others, or maybe he was just a nightmare to ‘work’ with.

Janus had barely gotten his costume on in the alleyway when he felt a strong wind pulling him out.

Gosh. That was too close.

Menace was standing in front of him, on the ground this time, with his earthy twister behind him.

“Heyy there, snakey. I’ve been waiting~.”

Janus raised an eyebrow at him, despite it likely being covered by his mask.

“Is that so?”

“Mhmm!” The villain leaned forward on his toes, unnaturally keeping his balance, probably from wind powers or something. Janus couldn’t help but lean back some.

“I was getting bored~.”

“That seems to be your whole ordeal, hm? You get bored. I get tired, yet I’m still here.”

Menace snorted.

“See, this is what I mean. You’re fun to talk to.”

“Yes, because snarky rival banter totally counts as talking.”

“Well, it is for me. “

Remus then spun around in his twister that seemed to stretch away.

“Come and catch me!” His voice rang off.

Janus groaned and started to trudge in that direction, trying to decide what he could summon to assist himself. He hadn’t summoned many large objects of transportation, but maybe he could find something to up his speed.

“You! He-“

“Yeah, I know, sir super hero. He seems to want to play with me, I will have to deal with it.”

The hero paused for a moment. “Is there anything I can do?” He asked hesitantly.

Janus smirked at him. “Not that I can think of. You seem the type to care about protecting the people so” Janus waved his hand, and went back to his task. He didn’t get very far before he was thrust into his next obstacle, a sink hole suddenly sucking him into the ground. Janus quickly summoned a grappling hook and hooked it onto the surface so he was dangling, but no longer falling. There was an echo of Menace’s cackle. Janus sighed as he swung himself up and landed smoothly. He looked around and saw he was in a different part of the city.

“Oo.”

Janus heard little clapping.

“That was a neat trick. I got to see you in many different angles. Very fun for me.”

Janus gave him an unimpressed look, before carefully looking around.

“Where is everybody?”

“Oh, probably deserted. I’m not very quiet.”

He slid up to Janus, on some sort of sliding ground formation.

“I think I’d rather have you all to myself anyways~” He said with a whole body wiggle.

Janus made a face.

“Why do you keep doing that?”

“Hmm?”

Menace suddenly got closer.

Janus took a step back, hand curling for something, but he struggled to wrack his mind of something that he could actually use against the walking natural disasters.

“Th-the comments, to me.”

Janus cursed to himself at the stutter.

‘“Hmmm” Menace tilted his head until there was an unpleasant creak.

“Cause. It’s fun, and I like you.”

Janus paused and stared at him in bewilderment.

“What?”

Menace giggled at that and then suddenly they were against a wall. Janus let out an oof, as his back hit a bit roughly. It didn’t help that the other man was against him.

“Ya know, I gotta say, I’m not the type who’s into pain,” Janus croaked before he could stop himself.

Menace frowned and took a small step back.

“Er, sorry…I got ahead of myself. I didn’t actually hurt you did I?”

Janus narrowed his eyes at the other, a bit

#sanders side fic #dukeceit #ts janus

[jaceyneedsabetterusername]

Insecurities

Pairing: Sokka x Gender Neutral! Reader 

Warnings: None

Summary: Being a non-bender in the gaang isn’t always easy but your best friend Sokka always has ways of cheering you up. 

Word Count: 2017

A/N: This is my first A:TLA fic! I hope Sokka isn’t OOC but please let me know if he is so I can write him better in the future! 

__________________________________

No matter much you insisted to yourself and everyone around you that being a non-bender didn't bother you, it was a bold faced lie. You hated it. 

Back home, it hadn't been an issue. In the little earth kingdom village you hailed from, bending was forbidden because the fire nation had soldiers there that would imprison any earth benders. Even those who had the gift didn't tell anyone so you never felt different or less than. 

But now that you were with Team Avatar, as Sokka liked to call it, there were constant reminders about your lack of powers.

You sat on a rock on the bank of the river you'd all camped next to, staring at the point where the string of your fishing pole entered the water. It was your job to provide food tonight and after much begging from Sokka for “real food”, as he called it, you found yourself trying to fish instead of forage. The sun was beginning to set, still in the pale blue stage of descent. In a little creek that split off, Katara moved smoothly, guiding water into the air with ease as she practiced a new move she'd been working on. 

Toph was just lying against a rock pillow that she'd willed up into just the right, perfectly comfortable (for a rock) form, shade being cast down on her from another sheet of rock she'd bent into a half tent form. Having secretly been a standing champion in an earth bending fighting ring, beating full grown men five times her size at the age of twelve, she seldom felt the need to practice. 

Zuko was being Zuko. He stood off away from everyone in a clearing of dirt at the edge of the woods, practicing perfectly posed movements as he tried to force more and more power into the fire leaving his palms. 

It wasn't until Aang swooshed past you on a ball of air, sending your hair and the fabric of your clothing blowing in the wake of his pure youthful laughter, that the weight of your insecurities really hit you. 

You sighed, setting your makeshift fishing rod down and wedging it between two rocks. You scrunched your knees up and rested your chin on them, imagining what your life would be like if you had been born with such power. "Hey, you okay?" Sokka appeared from seemingly nowhere, coming up from behind to sit beside you. 

You perked up and tried to shake off the painful thoughts and shrugged, "Yeah, I'm good." You lied with a smile. 

"Please tell me you caught something. I am dying for some meat. We've been eating nothing but berries for days and I think I might die." Sokka begged, plucking at the string coming from the rod. 

You smacked his hand away and reprimanded him, "You're gonna scare the fish, idiot!" 

Yours and Sokka's relationship had always been full of sarcasm and insults but always from a place of love.  As the only non-benders, you often found yourselves paired up for everything which gave you a lot of time to develop a pretty solid friendship. But your idiot, meat obsessed best friend should have known better than to disrupt your fishing. 

Sokka put his hands up in defense, "I'm sorry! I'm just hungry, okay?!" He whined, plopping his face into his hands in 

As he sulked about the hunger you all shared, you looked over, your attention drawn by Zuko's groan of frustration. A tree he was facing was slightly charred but it was clear that he had intended to cause much more damage. He was distracted and frustrated but those seemed to be fairly frequent emotions for him.

Sokka noticed the unusual silence between the two of you and glanced over, chin still on his palm, and noticed you looking sadly at Zuko. He knew very well though that the look wasn't longing for Zuko himself but rather his powers. It was a feeling Sokka was well familiar with himself, "I know how you feel." He began simply, knowing you were reading each other's minds. 

You knew exactly what he meant. It was an unspoken bond of frustration that was only ever brought up verbally when someone underestimated your competence as fighters but it was there. "Do you ever wish you could bend?" You asked, looking over at him.

Sokka leaned back, his usual air of casual cockiness fading into a more sincere version of himself that didn’t shine through as often, "Not so much anymore. I mean, when we were younger, Katara was the only bender in our village so I guess I was jealous that she had this amazing power and I didn't. But I think now I've come to accept my place in the group. Katara and you are the brains. Zuko, Toph, and Aang are the brawn. And I'm the beauty." He put his hand under his chin like a child trying to pose cutely and he pulled his "cutest" face (although you weren't sure if that's what you'd call it - more like cheesy).

You chuckled a little bit, your tone becoming a slightly lighter, "Well, if you could bend, what kind of bender would want to be?" 

Sokka chewed his lip and thought for a moment, "I think I'd stick with my roots and be a water bender. What about you?" 

Your brows furrowed, "I don't know… I mean I know I'm from the earth kingdom so I should say earth bender but I just… I don't know! My whole life would just be rocks. I mean, don't get me wrong, the powers are amazing and definitely one of the most powerful as far as I'm concerned but it's just rocks. Everything is rock." 

"I know exactly how that feels! My whole life has been ice! Everything is freaking ice! I lived in an igloo made of ice!" Sokka spoke animatedly, flailing his arms around to further his point. 

Normally, you might have giggled or rolled your eyes at his dramaticness but instead you became more enthusiastic about your words as well. "Exactly! I mean I lived in a wooden hut but we used to take trips to Omashu and everything is just rock! At least the air kingdom and fire kingdom don't just have air and fire for everything." 

"You know what?" Sokka asked, putting his hand on your shoulder, "They may have superpowers but you know what they don't have?" 

You raised your eyebrows, waiting for him to continue his sentiment. "A kick ass boomerang or a freaking awesome bow staff!" He finished, whipping out his boomerang and using it to point to your bow staff that was leaned against the rocks beside you, your main weapon of choice. 

"Aang kind of has a staff." You interjected, rolling your eyes to look over at your friend. 

"No, Aang has a magical flying stick." Sokka was clearly unamused by your attempt to fault his logic, “Just accept the fact that you’re cool too!” 

His compliments made your cheeks turn red and you laughed, “Yeah, I s’pose you’re right. I am pretty awesome.” 

Sokka’s arms went out in triumph when you finally admitted your true value, “Exactly! Besides, we’re better at hand to hand combat than them too.” 

Your head wavered side to side as an expression of unsureness swept over your face, “Eh, I don’t know about that. Have you seen Zuko with his swords?” 

“Shut up!” He whined, exasperated, “If you’re going to keep being like this, I’m going to stop trying to make you feel important.”

Your mouth fell open a little bit at his last comment, “Are you saying I’m not important?!” Obviously, you knew that wasn’t what he meant. He’d been your best friend since you joined the group so you knew that Sokka valued you just as much as you did him. But still, as such an easy target, he was so much fun to pick on sometimes. 

Your best friend quickly backtracked, “Not that you’re not important! Just- agh! You know what I mean!” His face fell dramatically and his arms dropped to his side, finally stilling from their usual expressive flailing. 

You reached over and grabbed his arm in reassurance, laughing at his flusteredness, “I know what you mean, Sokka! I’m just kidding Gosh, you’re so easy to pick on.” Sokka groaned as you pulled him in close, giving him a side hug. “Thank you for trying to help me feel better. I know that we’re a vital part of the team and that we have specialties that others don’t. I just can’t help but feel insecure sometimes when everyone else can bend the elements to their will and we can’t.” 

Sokka leaned into your touch, awkwardly side hugging you back while you held onto his arm, “Yeah, I know. Me too sometimes. But then I just remember how awesome I am and then I feel better. You should try it sometime” He let you go and pulled his boomerang out from behind him, inspecting the sharp blade with a cocky smirk you knew was just there to mask his insecurities. 

“Maybe I should.” You pondered his words as you leaned back against the rock you’d used as a back rest while you fished and looked out at the setting sun’s reflection on the water. Mentally, you took notes of all the things you were good at. Sure, Katara could move water, Toph could fling rocks, Zuko could conjure fire, and Aang… well Aang was the avatar. But you were a master fighter, capable of taking down ten men with your bowstaff alone. Not only that but you were highly skilled in hand to hand combat. Since your father had been a high commanding officer in the vigilante brigade in your village against the fire nation before he was arrested, he’d instilled a lot of knowledge crucial to survival, on and off the battlefield. Things like scavenging and foraging, making shelter and weapons from next to nothing, battle strategy, natural healing remedies, and keeping a good head in combat were all things that came naturally to you. The bender’s didn’t have that. 

Yes, they were amazingly gifted and talented people but they relied on their abilities for all things. You were able to do almost just as much, if not more, without the powers. Sokka was right: you two were total badasses. 

When you looked back at him, he was sharpening his blade on the rocks and then held it up to the light to inspect it, repeating the process a few times. An idea popped into your head and you looked over at him coyly, “Y’know, Sokka, we are total non-bending badasses. But we don’t know who’s the best non-bending badass.” 

Sokka side eyed you suspiciously, “Is that a challenge?” 

You sighed and leaned back, stretching your body out to show how little you were afraid of him, “Yeah, I think it is. Unless, you’re scared you’ll lose.” You taunted, knowing the rise you were getting out of your best friend. 

Sokka was well aware of what you were doing but he couldn’t resist the temptation of a little friendly battle. “I’m not scared!” His voice cracked, making his comment harder to take seriously, “Just be warned. There’s only gonna be two hits. Me hitting you and you hitting the ground.” He stood up, cracking his knuckles and back as he spoke. 

“Oh, is that so? Why don’t you put your money where your mouth is Water Boy?” You stood up too, grabbing your bowstaff and stamping it firmly onto the earth beside you. 

He grabbed his boomerang and gripped it tightly. He stepped closer, his nose almost touching yours as he locked you into a glare-off, a twinkle of friendly competition in his vibrant blue eyes. You knew that friendly competition was sure to come with a “friendly” amount of scuffs and bruises to both the loser and the victor, though you were positive you’d be the latter of those two. 

Sokka nearly growled as he spoke, raising his eyebrow in challenge, “It’s on.” 

#sokka #sokka x reader #atla #avatar the last airbender #atla fics #atla fanfics #sokka imagine #sokka blurb #platonic #gender neutral

[dear-yandere]

—ask collection!

a collection of mostly very old chats and sweet asks that i never got around to answering! thanks for the patience and love!! 

beware, fairly long post... woops....

chat asks.

darling: Eu-jin is best boy. Change my mind.

vanya: i am physically incapable of fulfilling that request, how dare you do that to me... i’m biased since he’s my own oc, but i would die for my (very best) boy eu-jin... who can resist such a gentle yandere that loves you so whole-heartedly?

that reminds me! he’s actually based off of kuroyuki and gekkamaru from the otome nightshade, so if you want similar characters by any chance, do check them and the game out ♡

darling: I was watching the dub for Part 5 of JoJo's Bizarre adventure yesterday...Mista called himself Daddy and I like- sdfghjfgsdhnhnmj!! My heart can't take this--

vanya: WAIT HE DID???? i’m not even big on daddy kink and reading that made me go 😳 this is vital information to know... what episode was this??? for research purposes, of course. gotta perfect my yan! mista, after all~...

darling: for yandere songs, have you heard of the major to minor covers by chase holfelder :O? the way he delivers the lyrics in some songs (betty, all i want for christmas), added with the key changes to minor, is really fantastic, and gives a stalker-ish vibe imo! and he's a really good singer in general

vanya: i have!! a good chunk of them are actually on my personal yandere playlist, so i end up hearing them frequently when i’m writing!! i haven’t been keeping up with his uploads recently, so ‘betty’ is completely new to me and just, wow???????????? this man is an absolute god send for us “romantic” horror fans... ♡

this ask gave me such a lovely idea, though, darling: assigning yandere types/mbti based off each of chase’s minor key covers. i think i’ll do that just for you. ♡

darling @blossomiich​: I reread some of your old character interaction asks and saw the one with Jotaro hugging his Darling after a panic attack and the elephant seal plush reminded me of the iconic C H O N K Y ringed seal plushie that was kinda trending and I can totally imagine Jotaro having one of those >w< that's so adorable!

vanya: i honestly don’t remember that interaction, but then again i don’t remember most things hmghng so i looked it up and

j...just imagine star plat hogging it and not letting joot cuddle with it 🥺 the duality of man...thank you for this cute image...

darling: Umm, sorry for asking this. I'm just curious because of your bio language in your header. Are you Chinese too, perhaps?

vanya: no worries!! i’m mixed guyanese (indian, chinese, & possibly black and/or portuguese), but my family only celebrates (or rather, acknowledges?) our indian descent, since the majority of our family is predominantly east indian. 

my header is actually a quote from a danmei novel (and one of my all-time favorite fandoms), tiān guān cì fú (heaven’s official blessing)!

darling genki stan anon: Omg you're writing for free now, i didn't expect that one lol. It's a cute show innit? Not a nagi stan but I feel like nagisa has that kinda unsnapped personality that would make him peak delusional yandere material lolol like oikawa but less threatening and without his head being up his own ass 😂. Hope you're doing well!! -gsa

Gdjsjs im such a fool, i think my last ask said something about not thinking you'd write for free when i literally just pointed out kisumi on your sideblog LMAO my bad 😅 😂 also ill hold back on the gen chan requests because ive already asked so many in the past! Thank you though 🥺. Also feel free not to post this, it can just dip into my onesided chats with my lil flower 💐 so long as you receive them im fine 😌 -genki stan anon

vanya: nagisa isn’t my favorite (kisumi is), but gods if he wouldn’t make a great yandere. honestly, out of the iwatobi boys, nagi is probably the most unhinged. i wouldn’t peg him as delusional, at least not at first; i think he’s very lucid and knows exactly what he wants and how to manipulate people in order to get it!!! kisumi is fairly similar now that i think about it... i might... have a type...

please feel free to send in gen-chan requests whenever you want!!!! i’m kinda super asocial, so it’ll take me a while to answer, but i love getting asks from you since you’re so sweet and excitable!!! your little flower reads and cherishes them all!! 🥺

also darling genki stan anon: Sorry for spamming you with asks hdjkdks, u dont even need to reply im just kinda brain empty venting here whether you recieve them or not 😂 i just needed to confess that while yes i am #1 gen simp, and he is undoubtedly my fave oc of yours but that Ilya tentacle smut had me very much so highkey kinda 👀, had to re read the genki oral style drabble to bring my head back. He dont even need to worry about luca bc that man a thot. I think therin is a thot too but like lowkey, a classy thót -gsa

vanya: omg i’ve kept this one for forever mnmghngh i might’ve even answered at some other point, now that i think about it... but i just 🥺 gosh i hope i find my muse soon, because i really wanna write you a genki fic 🥺 hhhh

the ilya tentacle smut was so in character for that boy... i have no clue how to write monsters, much less tentacles, but i’d honestly do anything for him 🙏 kinky russian boy...

therin is definitely a classy thot, the kind that only bangs the finest concubines then turns around and slut shames you for banging the very same prostitutes gbfmngnfg rules don’t apply to him, in his kingdom...wish that were me tbh ✊😔

sweet asks.

darling one: i've read almost all of your dazai and chuuya fics and i love them so much!! your formatting is also super aesthetic just a question, i saw on your kofi that you also draw so i was wondering if you drew all the header arts?? bc they're all super pretty :) have a great day!

darling two: Just wanted to say love the writing and the way your format your posts is so aesthetically pleasing. One day I hope my posts looks half as good as yours because I legit can't get over how pretty and organized it looks.

vanya: omg thank you so much!!!! one of my bffs, yue, is to thank for the formatting and aesthetic choices, really! if you wanna see more of her aesthetic formats and posts, she actually runs a few blogs! you may know her as @milkscafe​, formally @milkaaton! i adore her and her aes choices so much 🥺

as for the headers, i don’t draw 99.98% of them! i have drawn a couple, but they’re so few and far in between since i almost never finish my art wips haha... my older posts are lacking proper credits because i’m an absolute idiot, but i’m slowly working my way backwards to credit them all where possible! they’re all indeed super pretty!!!

have a great day yourself, my love!!

darling: THEY’RE NOT BAD CONTENT, I LOVE THEM ALL

vanya: this was in response to a now-deleted lil blurb but i kept it in my inbox because i wanted to say i love u very much and seeing this ask each time i open my inbox makes my heart skip a beat ♡

darling: Listen I love your writing, you inspired me to start it myself! I've always loved to write, and read of course but your style and concepts just stick with me. If you where to write something besides Yandere content/fandom content and started your own series? I would read the shit, out of it. I'm always nervous to interact with my favorite writers because you know, I'm afraid of the impression I'd leave but I just wanted to say this anyway! 💞💞💞🔫😳

vanya: wowowow fgfnmgnfmngfg that’s such a high compliment my brain just gmfnbgmnf go boom fogjfngnfg and thank you for the interaction, us writers truly appreciate it no matter how awkward or nervous you think you may be / come off!!!

darling one: As a writer, your post struck a nerve with me. I don’t send feedback to writers I like nearly as much as I should (and certainly not as much as I’d like in return as a writer). So, as such, I’m going to start doing that when I can, starting with you.

You are an incredible writer. You were one of the first yandere writing blogs I found and you’re still one I check in on regularly to see what you have been working on. You can portray a sense of suspense and intrigue in a natural way that many other writers - published ones included - struggle with. You delve into the darkness without it feeling forced, and you have an amazing grasp on the psyches of the characters you write for (which is a quality I adore in writing and strive toward myself).

I’m not great at ending these things so I guess.. you keep doing you? Because the you is great and I appreciate it.

darling two:  hey. i'm here to tell you that from the bottom of my heart i love you and your writings. i really admire your writing skills. you inspire me. one of your posts once saved me from a nervous breakdown. thank you for everything you do. you're a wonderful person. good luck!

darling three: I wanted to tell you that thank you for writing such wonderful beautiful writings and that you take time to edit and write I hope you are taking care of yourself 💖❤

darling four: Thanks. I was having a hard time and deleted all my apps, but as soon as i opened my phone my first instinct was to look at your blog and i got my motivation back. Thanks (:

darling five: Hi ! I just wanted to say I really enjoy the stories you write and how they are detailed so well ! Stay safe and I hope you have a good day/night ! ლ(╹◡╹ლ)

vanya: ahhhh, these are very old asks mostly dating back to my “tumblr writing community is dying” post, and i’ve kept them this entire time because i’m just so starstruck. i have no clue how to reply to compliments, so i’m not sure what else to say besides that these asks made me very happy and got me through a few insecure moments!!! i’ve actually been feeling a little down about my writing recently, mostly because of lack of motivation / inspiration, so revisiting these really warmed my heart, so thank you truly ♡ i’m certainly keeping the originals in my inbox until the end of time!!

darling @monstrously-obsessed: psst, this local cryptic mom thing send all of their love for you 💕

vanya: your local herbo says she loves you very much momster 🥺 mwah

also, to the anon worried about my safety:

thank you so much for pointing that out!!! it hadn’t even crossed my mind when i made those ocs, so i appreciate your concern! i was contemplating revamping those two as is, so this is a great place to start! thank you again!!

#asks collection #not a fic #vanya rambles #[ vanya LITERALLY rambles ] #[ life's hard when you're this asocial i swear fgmnfgnmfg ] #[ now to answer concept asks ]

[hawkinshellfire]

Right Where You Left Me

Chapter 7 - White Horse

Stupid girl, I should’ve known

That I’m not a princess, this ain’t a fairytale

I’m not the one you’ll sweep off her feet

 When Hopper and Chrissy arrive at the diner, the post-game celebration is already in full swing. Every booth in the small neon-lit establishment is packed with students from Hawkins High and a few of them rise to pat Hopper on the back as he and Chrissy work their way to a table full of his teammates in the far corner. 

 Going to the diner after the game was a long-standing tradition that Hopper adored. There was always such a positive vibe in the atmosphere and everyone, from the jocks to the nerds participated in the festivities. He settles into a plush leather booth between Benny and Chrissy and orders himself a Coke and a plate of fries. 

 “Good game man!” a senior student smiles at Hopper from across the table. 

 “Thanks.”

 “That last catch, phew, I don’t know how you do it.”

 “It’s because he has me to make him look good,” Benny brags. 

 “Always so humble,” Hopper laughs in Benny’s direction. 

 The waitress returns and passes Hopper his drink and that’s when he sees her, cuddled up in the corner booth with Lonnie. She has her body angled towards the other man and she's laughing. Genuinely laughing. It bothers him. He wants to be the one making her laugh. 

 He’s drawn back into the conversation at his table when Chrissy links her arm through his and lays her palm over his hand. She leans into his shoulder and flirtily flits her eyelashes at him. Smiling at her, he tunes back into what’s being said, but every once and a while he finds himself looking over at the corner table. 

 He zones out when Benny starts rambling about his favourite plays of the game, instead opting to focus on Joyce. She was drinking a chocolate milkshake, her favourite, and twirling a strand of her hair around her finger. She wasn’t wearing the red lipstick he’d seen her wear recently, and it reminded him of how naturally beautiful she really was. He thinks that maybe, before everything fell apart, he should have told her how breathtaking she was. She deserved to know. 

 He watches with envy as her arm brushes against Lonnie’s and the hand located beneath Chrissy’s clenches instinctually. 

 He vaguely registers that Chrissy is telling a story, but he has no idea what she’s talking about. It was likely about something he’d done. He’d discovered that Chrissy loved to tell their friends about the quirky things he did when they were alone; he didn’t love that she shared intimate details of their personal life and recognized that she did it as a means of boasting about their relationship status. He’d never said anything to her about it, but he found it unnecessary and cringe-worthy. 

 Chrissy turns and notices that Hopper is staring across the room and tightens her grip on his arm. 

 “ James, ” she hisses, “are you even listening to me?”

 “Of course I’m listening,” he lies. 

 As Chrissy continues her story, Hopper grows restless and pulls his hand from beneath hers. He stretches his arms up over his head and excuses himself to use the restroom. Alone, he makes his way down the aisle, past Joyce’s table and to the restroom. He can feel Chrissy glaring at him as he passes Joyce, but he doesn’t linger nor does he make eye contact. In the restroom, he groans and splashes himself in the face with cold water. When the water does nothing to aid his anxiety, he decides he needs a cigarette. 

 Hopper goes back to the table and retrieves his jacket while telling Chrissy he would be back after his smoke. She nods and continues on with her conversation with Karen Wheeler, who had joined the group and claimed Hopper's seat while he was gone. 

 On his way out he watches as his peers laugh and celebrate and he feels incredibly disconnected. Everyone at their table was hollering and engaged in exciting conversations but all Hopper wanted to do was head home and crawl into bed. He should be in the mood to celebrate. He should be thrilled to have Chrissy here with him, bragging about what an incredible boyfriend he was, yet, he was pouting because his best friend was here with someone else. 

 Pushing through the door to the diner, Hopper whips out a cigarette and lights it, allowing the immediate rush on his first inhalation to numb the way he feels. 

 .

.

Typical. It was absolutely typical of Hopper to order a plate of fries while everyone else ordered only soda. Not that she was watching him, she just happened to notice while she was looking around to see if she recognized any of her classmates who were at the diner to celebrate the football team's win. Only, that was a lie because she didn’t know any of these people and she’d been keeping an eye on Hopper since he and Chrissy strolled in. 

 She and Lonnie were sitting in the far corner of the establishment giving her a perfect vantage point and view of Hopper and his pals. Her intention was to have Lonnie drop her off at home but she felt unsettled after her conversation with Hopper and wasn’t ready to head home just yet. So, when Lonnie asked if she wanted to join him, she accepted his offer and here they were, tucked away in a small two-person booth watching as their classmates celebrated. She’s trying to focus on the story she’s being told, something about the latest car Lonnie and his father were working on restoring; she’d recently learned that he spent nearly every weekend with his father, working on restoring cars, but her attention is split between the words he’s saying and the way Chrissy has her arm linked through Hoppers. 

 More than anything, she wants to give Lonnie her undivided attention. He was nice enough to offer her a ride and she felt like she owed him; seeing as she was stringing him along (though he wasn’t aware of that fact). But she’s preoccupied with the words left unsaid on the field and she needs to know what Hopper’s next move will be. She felt as though she’d made it clear that the ball was in his court. The note was the first step to mending their friendship and rather than accept her offer to forget and move forward, he just  had  to go and complicate things, therefore, it was on him to  uncomplicate  them. 

 Lucky for Joyce, the waitress drops off the milkshakes they ordered just as Lonnie asks her a question that she only hears the second half off. She thanks the waitress and immediately takes a large gulp of her chocolate shake. 

 “Chocolate, huh?” Lonnie remarks. He takes a sip of his own vanilla milkshake and smiles. 

 “The best kind,” she states. 

 “Okay, don’t find this weird, but I’ve never tried a chocolate milkshake.”

 “What?! You  have  to try,” she insists, sliding her milkshake towards him. 

 He takes a sip and pauses before his lips settle into a smile and he pushes the glass back towards her. “Alright. I see what all the hype is about.”

 “I can’t believe you never had a chocolate milkshake,” she scoffs. She plays around with the straw in her drink and grins, caught up in the memory of one of the first times she discovered that chocolate was the best kind of milkshake. 

.

.

  “Why on earth did you get the strawberry?” Hopper asks. 

  He leans back against the booth and scolds Joyce for her milkshake selection. It was freshman year and he and Joyce had decided to check out the diner that all of the senior students went to before it got too busy with the evening crowd. The pair were sitting across from each other in a booth lining the front window. Joyce was pleasantly surprised with the homey feeling in the diner and commented several times on how much she loved the neon lights on the edges of the window. 

  “I don’t know, it looked good.”

  “You always get the chocolate, it’s an unwritten rule of ordering a milkshake.”

  “You can just share yours with me,” she suggests. With a smirk, she leans over the table and clasps his straw between her lips before he has the chance to slide the glass out of her reach. 

  “Hey!” he protests. “Get your own!” 

  “Will it really kill you to share? I’ll share mine and we can have one of each,” Joyce beams. 

  “Excuse me,” Hopper calls out to the waitress. “Could we get two more straws?”

  “More straws?” Joyce whispers. 

  “If I’m sharing my milkshake with you, we’re getting two straws so that you can’t hog the entire thing.”

  “I’m not going to hog the entire thing!”

  “Oh really, because it’s already on your side of the table,” he raises an eyebrow and looks at where the two milkshakes are positioned in front of her. 

  “You put that there!” she giggles as she pushes it back to the center. 

  “Why would I put  my  milkshake there?” he teases her. 

  “To bother me.”

  “I would never,” he laughs. 

  “Oh please Hop. Your favourite pastime is bothering me.”

  “You secretly love it,” he winks. 

  The waitress returns and hands Hopper two straws then smiles between him and Joyce. “It’s so nice to see a young couple so in love,” the older lady remarks before walking away. 

  “Oh we’re not…” Joyce attempts to correct her, but it’s no use, she’s already back at the counter. 

  An awkward silence falls between them and Joyce fiddles with her thumbs while she waits for Hopper to add the new straws to the drinks. 

  “Can you believe that she thought-” he begins with a forced chuckle. 

  “Gosh no. How crazy would that be?”

  “Totally crazy,” he sighs. They each sip a milkshake and eventually the awkwardness falls away and Hopper is once again teasing Joyce about hogging the chocolate milkshake. 

.

.

 Lonnie resumes telling his story and Joyce continues to pretend to listen, but she isn’t. She notices Chrissy place her hand over Hopper’s and feels queasy. A strange realization overcomes her and she suddenly panics. The fate of their relationship was in Hopper’s hands but she would never be like Chrissy and she worries that maybe she’s allowed herself to become disillusioned with what could be. 

 It was stupid of her to assume that Hopper would ever choose what he didn’t have with her over what he did have with Chrissy. They were  perfect.  The cheerleader and the jock.  Everyone  said so. Perhaps she was stupid and naive for believing that she was the type of girl that Hopper would want to sweep off her feet. They may live in a small town, but there were plenty of girls that were better suited for Hopper than she was and he  had to see that. She never should have let herself realize she had feelings for him. That was her first mistake. 

 Before then, she was fine to live in her oblivious bubble. Obliviousness, though not ideal, meant that she wasn’t at risk of getting hurt. Now that she was standing here, in the crosshairs of what could have been and what could be, she would give anything to go back and remove the possibility of getting hurt. 

 It was too late now. Too much had happened and she knew it was foolish to think that they could forget everything and move past it but if that meant they could save some of their friendship, she was still willing to give it a shot. 

 Lonnie is still talking though all Joyce hears is white noise. She excuses herself and heads to the ladies' room where she splashes her face with cold water. When the water does nothing to calm her, she reaches for the pack of cigarettes in her pocket and returns to the table where she informs Lonnie that she’ll be back in a few moments. He nods and tells her he’ll be at the table waiting. 

 She doesn’t notice that Hopper is no longer sitting at his own table. 

.

.

 With Hopper gone, Chrissy begins talking to Karen Wheeler, a fellow senior member of the cheerleading squad. The girls are giggling about a mishap that one of the younger members of the squad had during the on-field performance when Benny asks Chrissy where Hopper ran off to. 

 “He went out for a smoke,” she informs him. “Or maybe he went to go make eyes at a certain brunette where I can’t see him doing it.”

 Her second statement has some bite but Benny ignores the maliciousness in her tone and nods. 

 “Their friendship is strange, isn’t it?” Karen remarks obliviously.

 “I don’t understand why he wastes his time with her,” Chrissy huffs. 

 Benny, who’s listening in on them, just rolls his eyes and sits silently. He knew exactly why Hopper “wasted” so much time with Joyce and he had an odd feeling it was only a matter of time before his friend and Joyce discovered that reason for themselves. 

 “Wait,” a younger boy Chrissy doesn’t recognize interjects, “are you talking about the guy that just left here?”

 The guy was in a few of Benny’s classes and was a member of the junior class, but Chrissy can’t be bothered to ask his name. He seemed like a total stoner and if she was being honest, she was already bored of this conversation. 

 “Yeah, why?” Karen answers.

 “Oh man, I feel so bad for that guy's girlfriend. I saw him totally making out with the girl that threw that party last week.”

 “ I’m his girlfriend.” Chrissy hisses. 

 “Oh  shit . My bad.”

 Chrissy looks across the table at Benny, who seems amused by what he’s just been told and she scowls. 

 “You must be thinking of someone else,” she fake smiles at the kid. 

 Chrissy doesn’t give the kid a chance to refute her remark and instead whips around to look at where Joyce was previously sitting with some punk rock-looking loner from school when she and Hopper came into the diner.  She is irritated to find the male sitting at their booth alone. Joyce, and  her  boyfriend nowhere to be seen. 

 Angry, Chrissy gets up and smooths down the edge of her skirt. She gestures for Karen to follow her and marches over to the table where Lonnie Byers is sitting alone. 

 “Can I help you?” Lonnie asks as the two cheerleaders approach his table. 

 “Hi,” Chrissy smiles down at him. “I’m Chrissy, this is Karen.” 

 Following Chrissy’s lead, Karen waves at Lonnie and half-heartedly twirls one of her curls through her fingers. 

 “Lonnie,” he says skeptically. 

 “That’s a nice shirt,” Chrissy says, referring to his beaten-up band tee. 

 “Thanks?” 

 “How’s your night going?” Chrissy pries.

 “Fine. Is there a reason you came over here?” 

 “I just wanted to see how things were going with you and Joyce.”

 “I didn’t realize you two even knew each other,” Lonnie says. 

 “Hop introduced us.”

 “ Right ,” Lonnie says dryly. 

 “So your date is going well?” 

 “Who said it was a date?”

 “Isn’t it?”

 “What do you want Chrissy?”

 “It’s too bad really, that Joyce will never  actually  date you.”

 “What is that supposed to mean?” 

 “I just think it’s a little pathetic. And too bad really.”

 “What’s pathetic?”

 “How obsessed she is with Hopper. It’s getting ridiculous, she practically follows him around and stalks him.”

 “What the hell are you talking about?”

 “Oh, you didn’t know? She has a total stalker-like crush on him. It’s actually a bit sad. He only hangs out with her because he feels bad for her. Anyways, I just thought you should know.”

 Giggling, she links her arm through Karen’s and the two girls head back to their table. Lonnie states after Chrissy and Karen in a daze. He thinks over what he’s been told and glances towards the diner door, where he catches sight of Hopper following Joyce to the side of the building. 

 He knew Joyce and Hopper had a complicated relationship, but maybe it was far more complicated than he initially thought. 

.

.

 Joyce exits the diner in a hurry, swinging the glass door open and stepping out into the cool evening air with a large sigh. She’s too preoccupied with fishing her pack of smokes out of her bag to notice that Hopper is leaning up against the wall next to the door, watching her. 

 He stares down at her, one foot anchoring him to the wall, cigarette loosely dangling between his chapped lips. 

 Upon spotting him, Joyce quickly swivels on her heel and marches away from the front of the diner, rounding the building and choosing instead to stand in the alley between the building and the parking lot. 

 “Joyce,” he calls after her. She can hear the crunch of the gravel beneath his boots and knows that he’s following her but she doesn’t slow down. 

 “Joyce! Please stop,” he yells. He sounds defeated and it tugs on something within her and forces her to stop stalking away. Standing rooted in her spot in the alley, she whips around to face him, messy hair falling across her face as she spins around. “What?!” she snaps. 

 “Can we finish our conversation from earlier?” he asks sheepishly. 

 “I think it’s best we don’t.” 

 “Look, I’m sorry that we were interrupted. But don’t shut me out.”

 “Don’t be sorry. After all, she’s your  girlfriend , she had every right to interrupt the conversation we were having.”

 “Joyce,” he sighs. “Can we not talk about her right now? This is about you and I.”

 Hopper takes a step towards her but Joyce stubbornly holds her ground and squares her shoulders to show that she isn’t affected by their close proximity. It’s an act, she’s insanely affected, but she refuses to show him what he does to her. 

 “There’s nothing to talk about,” she shrugs, doing her best to act neutral. 

 “There’s plenty to talk about.”

 Another step. She’s standing between him and the wall of the diner, and though they’re outside it’s suddenly hard to breathe. 

“You want to talk? Alright, fine. Why? Why can’t we just forget about everything that’s happened and move on?” she demands to know. Her eyes scan his but she finds no sign that he’s going to shy away from answering her. 

 “Why?” he growls. He leans towards her and forces her back to collide with the brick while he leans down and allows his nose to hover near hers. Their breath mingles and they both gasp before he speaks in a hushed, tortured tone, “Because it’s taking everything in me not to kiss you again right now.”

 He leans in and allows his lips to hover near her ear, sending a shiver rippling through her body. 

 “Joyce, I want-”

 “You think you want,” she corrects his unfinished statement. Finding her strength, she snaps out of her Hopper-infused haze and decides she can’t lose herself to lust when they needed to talk this out. 

 “What?” he blinks. He leans away from her and stares down at her with confusion. 

 “You  think  you want me Hopper. You like the idea because you can’t have me. But you don’t actually want me. Not like  that .” 

 “I-” he stutters, “I’ll prove that that’s not true.”

 “How?” she whispers. She knows what she’s asking of him is impossible but her guard is up and she needs him to help her tear it down. 

 “What if Chrissy and I were to break up? Would that fix things between us? Then will you believe me when I tell you that I care about you and that I don’t want to forget about what happened in the garden.” 

 “Leaving her won’t fix anything!” she yells in his face. With a sad sigh, she looks up at him with tear-filled eyes and continues in a lower, calmer voice, “I don’t even know who you are anymore Hop. You bail on our plans, you care about what other people think…”

 “I’m still me Joyce. Can’t you see how I feel about you?”

 She needs him to say it, to break down the wall she’d so delicately built by telling her she mattered to him, but he stands, inches from her face with his mouth hung open, unable to tell her what she needs to hear. 

 He wants to, desperately. But something prevents him from telling her his feelings for her are far from platonic. He’s afraid. Afraid she won’t feel the same way, though he’s almost certain she does. Afraid that things will change between them and worst of all, he’s scared to screw up and lose her. 

 “I know that you know. You know me, Joyce. You know  me.” His eyes are pleading, but ever the stubborn one, Joyce pushes against his chest and frees herself from the man-made compound between him and the wall, and she begins her walk home, leaving a stunned and confused Hopper alone with his unsaid feelings. 

  This is a big world, that was a small town

There in my rear-view mirror disappearing now

Now it's too late for you and your white horse

To catch me now

#stranger things #jopper #au #Multichapter #high school au #joyce byers #jim hopper

[jonghoshoe]

Hearts Awakened, Love Afraid

Proofreading? idk her, I almost lost this entire fic I refuse to read through it all rn.

Summary: Seonghwa hasn't had a letter from Hongjoong in weeks, he finds out why.

Pairing: Seonghwa x Hongjoong, side Wooyoung x Yeosang

Word Count: I finally hit 3k words :)

Contains: I honestly don't know what to put. It starts okay but gets sad real fast, there’s death and mentions of blood, homophobia, references to suicide ig? Maybe a descent into madness too.

It’s fucking dark ok.

@mingi-ivity

Used lyric prompts from @taesblue . ‘’Can I trust you if I give you myself?’’ And ‘’Will you now forever remain out of reach of my arms?’’

-

It’s barely dawn when Seonghwa receives the letters, stacked up high and bound with a ribbon.  He recognises it as being from one of his shirts as a child, he and Hongjoong had play fought that day, and when it’d torn off he had insisted that he kept it, fabric still attached and fraying thanks to the expert seamstress. 

The collection of writings is passed to him by a masked man, an associate of Hongjoong apparently, he wouldn’t give his name but Seonghwa feels as if he’s seen him before once, when Hongjoong had brought him to a lovely garden as children, it was by a small house at the edge of the city. Hongjoong knew him supposedly, though the man was a teen at the time. Despite face now being covered. He’s almost positive it’s him. He’d told them his name back then, Seonghwa doesn’t remember what but it was something biblical. 

Seonghwa and the masked man don't exchange many words, the man simply confirming his relation to Hongjoong, saying that he had passed and had wanted these passed on to him.

It isn’t until the twilight of that day when Seonghwa finally has time to read the pile of letters, his royal duties taking up so much time of the day. And he can already feel his gut wrenching when he reads the note atop the pile.

If you’re reading these then something has happened and I have no use in keeping them. Maybe something has been revealed, I’ve gone missing or been killed, maybe I just finally needed to let things be known. Maybe my whole crew has been compromised. 

‘Seonghwa.

Throughout the years I've written many letters left unsent to you, sneaking me into your lessons has paid off after all. Had I been illiterate like most who are as unfortunate as me, you may have never kept in contact for so long. 

Please take the time to read my letters, I know most of it is inconsequential now, but I feel bad having never sent these.’

The handwriting is shaky, Seonghwa has seen Hongjoongs writing, as recently as just a few years ago, though it was rarely tidy, it was generally steady, he can’t help but worry for what state he must have been in while writing that.

He worries even more for what’s been left unsaid. Hongjoong had kept in touch with Seonghwa even after becoming a pirate and a fugitive, he was well liked in the city and seemed to make as many friends as enemies wherever he went, so he’d always found somebody to deliver the messages back to him.

It’s unfortunate they had to resort to letters, but after they’d both grown up a little more and were told the implications of their social statuses. They rarely had time to meet anymore. Seonghwa always gave his friend as much gold as he could when they met though, as a helping hand but also so Hongjoong could buy the stationary for writing his letters, which Seonghwa had encouraged he send.

The first letter is easily recognisable, Hongjoong had always signed his letters as a child with badly drawn stars, insisting they reminded him of Seonghwa.

They go pretty standard as far as letters go, nothing too surprising in the content of them, but Hongjoong had always been a perfectionist, and most of the letters compiled here are similar to ones he’s already received, likely first drafts. It’s cute that he kept these, the first draft is always less thought out than the edited final one, but for Hongjoong, who wears his heart on his sleeve, Seonghwa supposes these are rather embarrassing, none of his emotions held back as he scrawls whatever came to mind that he’d wanted to tell his friend. 

The letters begin to stray as he grows older though, Hongjoong must be in his late teens at the time of the first one.

‘Seonghwa!

Work today was so much more exciting than usual. I have a secret to keep! I obviously can’t send this to you because of that, but I’ve written to you so much that it’s easier to do that than write a diary entry.

You remember Wooyoung and Yeosang? They went on a date during our break today! But they told me I can’t tell anyone, Apparently boys aren't allowed to date eachother?

I think that’s unfair, They’re both so in love! I can’t imagine having to hide that from anyone! They’ve been together forever and can’t even say they love one another? It makes me sad, Imagine if you couldn't openly love anyone? What a depressing world that would be!

I don’t really have anything else to say, but I never knew boys could like boys! Can girls like girls too? Can you like both? I wonder if I’ll ever like a boy.

-Hongjoong’

Seonghwa chuckles at the letter, clearly it hadn’t been sent in case it had been lost and his friends were outed. Now he supposes Hongjoong sees no reason to hide the truth anymore.

The next letter is dated to a week after the event.

Apparently, there are no rules at sea, you can do and be whatever you want! That’s why there’s so many of them! San said he’d ask his friend about it next time he comes to town, so Wooyoung and Yeosang can love freely!

‘Seonghwa!

Today was awful, the boss caught Woo and Yeo holding hands and fired them! For holding hands! When we all met later for dinner together, San mentioned he knows a guy, a pirate!

That sounds so romantic and cheesy, leaving behind an uncaring world to sail the sea with you beloved. Sounds like the plot of a romance novel!

-Hongjoong’

I might go with them, apparently a life of piracy is the most free you can get, I’d like that. I think it’d be nice to not have to worry about everything I do here, about living, about working, about whether my friends will be okay.

I don’t know how I’d message you though, I doubt I can send letters from the sea!

Ah, so that’s what had spurred his life of piracy. He’d wanted freedom for himself and his friends. Seonghwa feels a little bad now, he’d berated Hongjoong for what he’d done when he first found out, calling him irresponsible for doing something like that.

Of course it was all in his head though, Hongjoong had already taken to the sea by the time he found out, and never stayed anywhere long enough for Seonghwa to send him a letter, he could only receive them.

The next letter is dated two days later.

He’s assured us we’ll be okay now though. Also! I learned that the pirate is the same guy we went to the garden with as kids! It almost seems like fate.

‘Seonghwa.

We had to leave in a hurry, I never knew that my friends love was illegal! They were going to be arrested and Sans pirate friend was at the docks so he let us board with him. We couldn’t prepare for this at all, I can only write this because I keep it my stationary in my bag at all times!

We’ll have to work here, a boat doesn’t take care of itself after all. Nor does a crew feed itself. But we’re assured we’ll be safe. He trusts we’d never do anything we aren’t supposed to so he and the older pirates said they’ll mentor us!

Gosh- I probably can’t send this, too much detail that others shouldn’t know. It happens a lot right? People try and intercept royal mail? I’ll need to rewrite this before I can send it to you. Make it less harmful for you if it gets out. Can’t have the public hating you for talking with a pirate now can we!

-Hongjoong’

That explains the rush then, why he was here one day and gone the next. Seonghwa wonders when Hongjoong had first been able to send his rewritten letter.

The letters continue for a while, mostly uneventful, they mostly consist of Hongjoong writing down his conflicting feelings regarding the position he’s found himself in. Seonghwa also learns the pirates name is Eden, he thinks that must be the man he saw today. Though why he is somehow still here when Hongjoong and his crew are, remains a mystery.

‘Seonghwa.

We were separated from Eden today, things went wrong and we ended up on opposite ends of the city we were in. We left as soon as we could. Eden said we should leave before him if anything like this is to happen. We have a rendezvous point. In case we’re separated. An island a long way North from here. Hopefully he’ll be okay.

I’ve been appointed leader now, it’s...weird. I never saw myself as being in a leadership position, he said I was most fit for it in his absence. I don’t see how, but I’ll have to live up to it now.

Is this how you feel, Seonghwa? Being in a position of power that you didn’t ask for? I can’t imagine royalty have much say in their succession to the throne.

You must have been crowned by now, It’s been years since I left. I wish I were able to say the real reason. I probably could by now, but I’ve kept it so long. I can’t even remember exactly what it was.

Our newest additions, Mingi and Jongho, have been a big help. They’re always a reliable shoulder to lean on in times like this. I might go visit them later, They’re good listeners. I don't know what lead them to this life, they’re both such kind people.

Though I suppose so were Wooyoung and Yeosang.

I don’t know if I’m ready for a leadership position, no matter how temporary. And if Eden doesn’t return...

I don’t want to think about that now. I’ll go above deck, maybe I can distract myself. Yunho is good at cards, maybe I’ll play with him for a bit.

I wonder if these diary-letters will ever see the light of day. If they do, I hope they’re only read by you Seonghwa.’

Hongjoong hadn't signed off the letter this time. Maybe he was so eager to distract himself that he forgot.

He relates to him, about the leadership thing. Seonghwa hadn’t at all wanted nor been prepared for taking on the throne. But he had to anyway after the passing of his parents, nobody else was eligible. The people will probably grow tired of him soon, he refuses to take a wife. And if he can't make an heir then he leaves nobody to ascend to the throne when he himself dies.

Good, it should be kept that way. Let him be the last one to be forced into this.

The next few letters are as expected, detailed accounts of what happened while they sailed to their destination. Mostly just Hongjoong getting used to leading everyone. Yeosang and Wooyoung were wed, apparently the captain is able to do that. It sounds like a lovely evening, even in Hongjoongs hungover description of it the following day. There’s a letter detailing their arrival to the island, and that strange things had been happening. It gets the most concerning about three days in though, as they tried to go inward to climb a small mountain there for the best vantage point.

‘Seonghwa.

We’re at the base of the mountain now. Everyone keeps joking that San should have no trouble climbing it. I can tell they’re on edge though.

We aren't alone here. I’m certain of it. We all feel as if someone is watching us. 

Things are out of place that shouldn’t be, or go missing, or we’ll think someone is there and then they’re not. There isn’t much in the way of living beings around us, so we can’t possibly chalk it all up to that.

I can't wait to get off this damn island. I don’t know what’s here and frankly I don’t want to. Whatever it is, as long as it doesn't follow us back onto the ship then we’ll be fine.

Hopefully we aren’t just all going paranoid.

I can find moments of peace in moments like tonight though. I’m up in a tree, impractical for writing, I know. But the leaves block out the sky.

I like watching the sky, the stars remind me of you. I wonder if you watch it too?

I don’t know what life I wanted, But now I’m sure this isn't it. I was so stupid as a child, if only I’d known about my feelings sooner.

I think I may be in love. With you.

This is so disjointed, maybe I’m going crazy after all.

It’s so stupid, I can never return now, I can’t leave my friends and by now we’re wanted in most places near our home, likely there too.

That’s what you get when you try to teach a bunch of kids to steal, we only didn’t get caught because we were so fast. We wanted freedom, and we were willing to run until our legs gave out beneath us to get it.

All I know now is this is not the life I want. It’s the one I've chosen, but it wasn’t a very thought out choice.

If I could fix things, I’d return to you, maybe confess my feelings. You were always so accepting weren't you? I’m sure even if they aren’t reciprocated, you’d never hate me for it. But I can’t return, not now. If could, Can I trust you if I give you myself? Would you hide me away from the world? So I could finally be with you?

Will you forever remain out of reach of my arms?

I would continue writing, but something is happening in the distance, it may be nothing, but I should wake everyone and check just in case. ‘

Yet again, it isn’t signed off. Seonghwa is worried, not even processing this letter before he moves onto the next one. It’s barely legible in words and writing.

‘ Seonghwa!!!

Its us its us itsus???

More us? They look like us

they arent us, we are us.

firefirefire so much fire

and smoke and mirrors

the sea? will I find them through the sea??

they came through mirrors??

where were the mirrors?

they have the answers

I should go

I need answers

they said they have them

what answers?

do I have questions?

bloodbloodblood

they were bleeding

are they real?

are they hurt?

theyre us are we hurt?

are we real?

I need answers

I have to go

through the mirror through the water through the sea

I need to go

will I come back?

maybe I can if I go

im sorry I cant give you all happiness

I wish I could give you freedom

if I get answers

I need answers

I need you

I need Seonghwa

I miss Seonghwa

I love Seonghwa

I want him iwanthimiwant

take me back take me back rewind it all

take me back to him

how?’

break the clock

bring me back

i want out

When Seonghwa finally reads the last letter, the writing is neat, but it isn’t Hongjoongs.

Seonghwa can’t bring himself to read the last letter, not after this.

Hongjoong loves him?

What does he mean by more of them?

Why is he only saying all of this now?

I don’t know what happened, Everyone is missing. I’ve searched all over the island and found nothing.

‘Seonghwa.

I’m sure you’ll recognise my name from Hongjoongs letters. I’m Eden.

I’m going to return to you and give you his letters, you deserve to have them. It’s the least I can do for the both of you.

I don’t know why I’m not being affected like they were.

I don’t know you, But Hongjoong talked about you often, I always wondered when he’d come to terms with his feelings, it seems that it was too late.

I can't give you anything to bury, but I found a piece of his shirt beside his letter, I don't know why it's bloodied, but you should have it more than I should.

I'll leave it in an envelope with the letters.

I’ll tie the stack with his ribbon, though I suppose it’s really yours. 

He never took it off in the entire time I met him.

I hope despite all of this, you can somehow carry on.

-Eden'

I won't stay long, I should return to the sea, I should warn people about the island.

I hope for your sake that our paths never have to cross again.

'Carry On'

Seonghwa doesn't know if he can. Doesn't know if he'll ever get over what he and Hongjoong could have been, ever get over the haunting words of his last letter, if he'll ever stop keeping that shredded piece of cloth in his pockets until it's nothing but threads.

Seonghwa doesn't know if he'll ever be able to carry on without Hongjoong.

He just wishes he knew where the island is. Wishes he could search for Hongjoong himself, he needs to see with his own eyes that he's not coming back.

Because he has to come back, there's so much they missed, so much they could have done, could have been.

He needs to know what happened, he needs to know what Hongjoong saw, what made him walk into the water to find answers, what took Hongjoong away from him. Seonghwa has been waiting all this time for Hongjoong to come back, for him to maybe change his appearance and return with a new name, to finally be able to see him again.

He needs his own answers now.

To talk with him, laugh with him, smile with him.

If he knew what he does now, to maybe even marry him.

Maybe he'll go down to the docks tomorrow, the sailors always love to chatter and gossip. if Eden is true to his word. Maybe Seonghwa can find that island, 

Find Hongjoong.

#ateez #ateez fic #ateez hongjoong #ateez seonghwa #ateez wooyoung #ateez yeosang #ateez san #ateez mingi #ateez jongho #ateez yunho #kim hongjoong #park seonghwa #jung wooyoung #kang yeosang #choi san #song mingi #choi jongho #jeong yunho #ateez angst #angst

[bittysvalentines]

Would That I

From: @lizards-online

To: @pieandpucks

Sometimes in life, things are missed. Opportunities are lost, but as a whole we cannot stop moving. Still, something feels left behind, dropped in a time before. We keep going, with something lost and something gained, until life gives us our chance again,to take destiny’s chance to reconnect and find what is lost. 

At Samwell University resided one Dr. Jack Zimmermann, a professor of history with an affinity for ice sports and queer literature. His smile was kind and his hair was just beginning to hint at touches of grey. He was a hard grader, and his readings were long, but his passion for teaching and his love of his students always showed through in his work. Students left his classes better thinkers, harder workers, and with only the smallest crush on him. Okay sometimes, not so small. Even the straightest of men recognized that Dr.Jack Zimmermann was a resident hottie. Rumor had it that he was voted “Samwell’s Most Gorgeous” four years straight back in the day.  

 Jack shuffled a few papers at his podium so as to get them in order before the end of his lecture. “Everyone, thank you for your attention today, just remember if you want to earn some extra credit points, you can attend one of the alumni guest lectures that will be on campus this weekend, and then write a one page response on the speaker’s topic and your thoughts. I’ll be popping in to a couple of the speakers myself, so if you see me, don’t be afraid to say hello.” 

Jack began walking across the front of the classroom, dispersing flyers advertising the Alumni Symposium to be passed back. 

A student in the back of the room raised her hand, staring down at the flyer in her hand “Dr. Zimmermann, when did you graduate Samwell?”   

Jack paused for a moment. “2015. Why?”

“Well, I was just looking at the graduation year of some of these alumni, and it says here Eric Bittle Graduated in 2017. So that means you were only two years ahead of Eric Bittle when he went here!” 

The class erupted in murmurs and comments. Eric Bittle was one of Samwell’s most famous alumni. He led Samwell to the Frozen Four his senior year, while being the first out NCAA hockey captain, was drafted by the Falconers and was the first openly LGBT+ player in the league. He won the Stanley Cup his rookie year (first of many) along with the Calder and Art Ross. Even outside of hockey he was famous for his witty vlog which evolved from a cooking vlog to a hockey, cooking and life blog with now over 18 million followers from all walks of life. 

Jack swallowed hard. Yes, it was true, his time at Samwell and Eric Bittle’s time did overlap by two years, and in fact, during those two years, he ran into Eric all the time. They were...friends. Shitty made sure of that. Jack would watch the hockey team’s games, not only to support Shitty, but to watch Eric weave and maneuver across the ice unlike anyone else. Even though Jack had decided against playing in college, he never did lose his love of the game. Meanwhile Eric would hover about the library doing anything but homework when Jack was working. Plus, the semester they took a class together was definitely a bonding experience. But it had been a long time since they had spoken. After Jack graduated, he felt too awkward reaching out to someone who he had a massive crush on but was WAY out of his league. And when one month turned into two, and then one year turned into five, and five years into a decade, Jack had trouble remembering where all the time had gone.

“Hah. Uh, yes he was two years younger than me. We had a class together once.” Jack decided firmly against mentioning his large crush on the blond to his entire History 336 Seminar. 

The students in the room all lamented about how cool it was that their professor knew a celebrity. 

Jack closed the door to his office and scrubbed his hand over his face and let out a sigh. Would it be awkward to see Eric again? Would Eric even remember him? Probably not. It was just a youthful crush. Even if Eric was still as attractive and charming and wonderful as he was back in the day, Jack was far past his prime. He could just not go to that lecture, but he felt drawn to it, as if something wanted him to see Eric speak. Jack picked up his phone and dialed the most recent number. It picked up on the first ring. 

“What the FUCK is up Zimmermann, to what do I owe the pleasure of one of your rare and coveted calls? Are you in legal trouble? Did you kill someone? Did you kick a goose and now you’re losing your Canadian citizenship?” Shitty was Jack’s best friend. He was boisterous and energetic but genuine nonetheless. His words washed over Jack with a wave of excitement and familiarity. 

“Haha Shits. I’m good. And no, no geese, at least not this time. I was just wondering, would you want to come down to Samwell this weekend? There’s an alumni symposium going on, and I think you’d enjoy the speakers.” 

“Ah ha old Jackabelle misses me. Of fuckin course I’ll come down to the symposium, but I’ll warn ya man I’m not gonna sit through more than ONE old white man talk. ONE. Who's the lineup anyway?”   

“I can forward you the flyer but  just off the top of my head: there's the current head of the English department, Dr. Masawa, she’s gonna be talking about her book, um Dr. Atley is going to present some research, and um, Eric Bittle is going to be there.” 

“Bitty fucking Bittle? The myth, the man, the legend himself? Well fuck my ass and call me chicken we HAVE to go to that. It’s been like FOREVER since I’ve seen Bits. What a fucking beaut. We texted a bit last month but it's been like a year and some since I last got to hang with him. You know he’s got a daughter now?” 

“Oh. Uh, no?” A daughter. Jack’s head spinned. He knew he didn’t have a chance with Eric but he didn’t realize that Eric had gotten married and had a kid. That would’ve been big news right? Was Jack really that out of the loop? He needed to read the news more. 

“Yeah she’s fuckin adorable as fuck. Like, two, three now maybe? He posts pictures of her on Facebook like all the time.”

“That’s uh pretty cool. Listen Shits, I have to go I have a, uh, book to read. I’ll see you this weekend. You can stay at my place. Text you bye.”

“Bye Jac-” Jack hung up the phone before Shitty could fully say goodbye. Why did he feel like there was a pit in his stomach? He didn’t care that Eric Bittle was a married father. So what? It’s not like he had a chance with him anyway. What would he have done? Gone up to him after his speech and say “Hello, I had a crush on you in college, and then we never talked after I graduated. Want to go on a date?” Even if Jack had had the confidence to do so, it was literally impossible now because Eric was a married father, a professional hockey player, celebrity, and an A Level hottie. All Jack had was a doctorate, a wall of books and a million papers to grade. He wasn’t even in the shape he had been in when he was in college, so really, he didn’t have anything to offer. Jack should just shut out all the fantasies of those big brown eyes, and golden hair, and gorgeous toned legs. Gosh what was he doing? 

Jack crossed the room and slumped into his chair behind his desk and picked up a stack of papers sitting on a chair beside the desk. The best way to distract himself was to drown in work. 

Eric Bittle woke up at 6 a.m. Saturday morning to the sound of his daughter crying. He was tired and sore from his game the night before, and a bruise was starting to form on his left thigh due to a nasty check from a Bruins defenceman but it wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle. 

Eric threw off his sheets and rushed into his daughter’s room. Allie was just about two and a half years old, and was in the midst of potty training. Unfortunately for him, Eric was also in the middle of the thralls of hockey season so a lot of the potty training fell on her daycare teachers. Being a single parent was tough. When his cousin Elizabeth had passed away, leaving her and her partner’s daughter to him, he had no idea what to do. He had been five years into his professional hockey career, out, single and totally unprepared for the hurdles of parenthood. 

He pushed open the door to the nursery to find his daughter sitting upright whimpering. “Oh you poor thing. Looks like we’re going to have to get you changed real quick now aren’t we Miss Allie?”

Eric brought her to the changing table and cleaned her and dressed her for the day. It was a little earlier in the morning than he had planned, but he needed to get a move on to get to Samwell in time for his guest lecture. Eric had reached out to his old advisor and she recommended him an education major who would be glad to watch his daughter while he spoke and mingled, not wanting to be away from her for the entirety of his day off. He dressed her in cute bunny socks and a yellow shirt and white pants. She was just about the cutest thing in the world. Soon Eric himself got dressed, packed a diaper bag and headed out. 

On his way Eric’s thoughts winded through his head. It had been quite some time since he’d been back to his alma mater. Samwell had been such an influential and formative place for him. From developing his hockey skills to coming into his own as a gay man. And even though he never did have a long lasting romantic relationship, the friendships he made there pushed him through his life and helped him become who he was. Thinking back to some of the people, he thought about the boys, Lardo, some of the other team captains, and his mind landed on one Jack Zimmermann. 

Eric had always had such a massive crush on Jack, with his boyband bangs, his droopy eyes, jaw that could cut glass and a behind that would give greek statues a run for their money. Eric had first met Jack through Shitty, but then subsequently kept running into him in the dining hall, gym and then one semester for a class. Jack would come to their games and Eric would watch him stack books in the campus library while he pretended to do homework, but always ended up back at the circulation desk, talking about everything and nothing until it closed. They had been friends, and Eric had had the largest crush on earth on the sad-eyed Canadian. But Jack was way out of Eric’s league.  He had been voted Samwell’s Most Beautiful for four years straight, and suitors were constantly trying to ask him out. And then Jack graduated, leaving Bitty yearning for what could have been. According to Shitty, Jack was a professor at Samwell, but the two hadn’t really kept in contact. After the fact, there had been some boys, some boyfriends, even some hookups, but nothing lasting more than a few months at a time. At 30 years old Eric Bittle had never been in a relationship longer than 9 months. 

The sight of Samwell pulled Eric out of his thoughts and Eric shook his head. He had things to do, and he wasn’t going to let ghosts from the past distract him from his job today: to speak about Samwell, sports, and his activism. 

Jack entered the packed auditorium with Shitty in tow. He smiled and waved to a few of his students while Shitty was speaking as if he was a physical manifestation of stream of consciousness. They took their seats in the front row reserved for faculty, staff and alumni. 

“I wonder what he’s gonna talk about. I hope he brings up all the swawesome shit the SMH did. Like that one kegster when-” 

“Wait Shits shhh there he is” Jack cut Shitty off. 

Eric Bittle walked onto the stage with a mic affixed to his shirt. He wore tight fitting navy blue slacks that highlighted just how well the NHL had bulked him up. His top two shirt buttons were unbuttoned on his white and navy blue patterned shirt. The sleeves were rolled up ¾ of the way showing off the definition in his arms. Jack’s throat immediately went dry with his face getting more red as the moments ticked on. 

Fuck. Eric Bittle was even hotter than he remembered and was a million times more attractive in person than he had been in promotional pictures. And his voice, the accent was so cute! Keep it together Zimmermann, that’s a married man. Jack was going to have a hard time sitting through this entire speech. 

  Fuck. Eric walked on stage, scanning the audience and almost immediately his eyes landed on one Jack Zimmermann. He was wearing a tweed jacket, with glasses and his hair was just a touch grey. Time had been very kind to Jack. Eric’s throat became dry as he stumbled his way through his introduction. Shit Jack was in the front row. How was Eric going to concentrate when the hottest man in the world was right in front of him, watching him speak for an hour and a half. 

Clapping. Jack was clapping. He zoned back in after having not actually comprehended a single word for the past 90 minutes. He had just sat and stared at the most gorgeous man he had ever seen and tried not to get a boner. Shitty was speaking to him. Jack needed to respond. 

“Yeah. He does look good in those pants” Shit. Probably not what Shitty asked him. 

“Not what I was talking about, but yeah you know what now that you mention it, mother fucker looks fresh as fuck! I gotta fuckin tell him those pants are doing it for him.” Shitty bolstered himself out of his chair, and up the steps and onto the stage where some faculty were gathering to congratulate him on his speech. Jack followed. 

“Eric Mother fucking Bittle” Shitty bellowed as he walked, Jack close behind, to where Eric stood, now holding a young baby girl on his hip as he spoke with alumni and faculty alike. 

Eric turned to face the two men and smiled. “Shitty B. Knight you best not be swearing around my daughter like that. And Jack, it’s good to see you. It’s been awhile.”

“Fuck yeah it has been. You two were adorable back in the day. You should’ve kept touch more!”  Shitty laughed. 

Jack smiled awkwardly. “Yeah it has been a bit hasn’t it? I’m sorry I never kept touch. Congrats on the hockey, and the Stanley Cup, and the marriage and uh, kid.” 

Eric’s face twisted into a confused half smile. “Marriage? Jack Zimmermann I am not married. I was her godfather. Life happened and now I’m her Daddy.” Eric looked at her, and kissed her forehead softly.

Jack’s brain short circuited. Not...married? “Oh so are you…”

“No I’m not seeing anyone. I’m doing quite fine with her all by myself.” Eric blushed. 

“Okay I see where this is going, I’m gonna back out of this convo..” Shitty etched away from the two men. The latter hardly noticing. 

Jack awkwardly ran a hand through his hair. “In all honesty, Eric, remember all those years ago, when we went to Samwell together. I had the biggest crush on you, but you were so out of league I never did anything about it. I should have, but I was a bit of a coward.”

Eric’s face turned a bright shade of pink as he stammered out a response. “Jack Laurent Zimmermann! You had a crush on me back then? I’ll have you know I pined for you for two whole years thinking you were straight until someone told me YEARS later that you weren’t, and then when I did realize you were an option, I never thought in a million years that you would be in my league anyway. You’re meaning to tell me you had a crush on me that entire time?” 

Jack blushed furiously. “We both had crushes on eachother I guess. I’m sorry I never made a move on you back then. If it means anything, I’d like to uh make one now.”

“Well how about our timing. Gladly Jack. Here, ” Eric pulled out his phone with one hand, careful not to disturb Allie, and handed it over to Jack. “ text me.” 

Jack put his number into the phone and texted himself. “In the meantime, would you like to catch up? It’s been a long time.”

Unbeknownst to the two men, several students stood by in shock, watching their professor flirt with and score a date with a literal celebrity. Two in the front high fived. “Get it Dr. Zimmermann!”

#bittyjack #bv2020 #bitty's valentines #omgcp fandom #omg check please!

[cowandcalf]

10.11. – Review and some musing

Since yesterday I'm thinking about how to start this review. I guess it'll end up being an ode to McDanno. Because let's be honest…still after such a long time, years of being in love, my love for the boys is a blazing fire. They make me sit on the edge of the couch, smiling stupidly, happy with what I witness what's happening between them. They make me sweat and grin and cry and gasp for air.

So, I start with the boys. Honestly, I've never expected season 10 to be so freaking full of McDanno moments. Gosh, I'm still a bit beside myself. For example, the scene in Steve's office. Danny…Danny. This handsome man (and the haircut! This freaking hot Mohawk, gah!!!) gets me twisted in knots because I try to find out what's he's up to. Danny doesn't normally admit to Steve his inner secrets. The way he confessed so openly why he has made up the mold story? Uh-huh. Intense. He shows feelings. Shows how much he was worried about Steve without being ironic and ranting and cutting the air to pieces with his hands. Intense. That what it was. And Steve? Steve takes Danny's confession in stride, kind of shifts on his seat and says he was touched. Steve doesn't really know what he should do with this piece of information even though he’s known it the whole time. It's kind of a load of emotions getting dumped on Steve only to grow in intensity a second later.

The bonsai comment? So not Danny-like, at least, not to the Danny I'm used to. He admits just openly that he's started that hobby for therapeutic reasons, telling there that he's not okay, that he's needed some support, some help from the shrink-corner and that's new. Did he visit a therapist? A psychologist? Does he still have sessions? Steve didn't ask any of this but the questions hang in the air. Danny, being just Danny, tells him of course, he doesn't normally inform everyone that he has a bonsai but he's just said it to Steve. So, he wants Steve to know and he even takes his miniature tree to Steve's house where he’s gong to trim this little precious tree with the special clipper doing this with a steaming cup of coffee beside him on Steve’s table only dressed in a flimsy shirt and old boxer shorts and Steve forgets how to breathe and decides to wear only sweat pants made of heavy cotton farbric. Not so easy to stretch. So, many hidden signs.

And what's with the burst pipe full of sewage? Yak, that's something traumatic when that happens, meaning Danny’s house was flooded with that stuff, ugh. At least, the bathroom and normally Danny would freak out, ranting, complaining, telling everyone how he's drawn the short straw from life. But none of this is happening. Danny smiles when he explains how the shit-smell has chased him out of his own home and he seeks refuge…at Steve's house. I'm sure he just made that story up, too and Steve knows this but still. Six to eight weeks! That's a long time and they haven't even mentioned where Danny would sleep. Maybe with Grace gone and Charlie growing older Danny feels lonesome and needs company.

But I can't get over Danny's sweet smile. The smile where he's asking Steve to let him crash at his place. It's a smile where one couldn't hide effectively enough the crush, they have one the one person that stands right in front of them. It's a sweet, tender, meaningful smile, uncommonly in Danny's repertoire to make faces. It's a gentle, genuine smile and it's connected to the stay at Steve's place. And normally Danny is the one who's annoyed and not Steve. Somehow the tables have turned and Danny tries to coax Steve into doing something Steve's not so fond of just for the fun of teasing Danny. Steve plays the annoyed one very well and all he can come up with are used towels. Ha!

Danny pushes boundaries twice in a short amount of time. He barges in Steve's door the first time without telling or calling or asking if it's okay with Steve. Now, just the same. He packs his bags and even takes his bonsai with him, stores his luggage in the office for Steve to see because Danny knows already Steve won't say no. So, what has Danny in mind? Living together for about two months? Jesus! I love this scene. It reveals Danny's softer side, an unexpected side. He wants to be with Steve that's a fact. And Steve lets him. I'm really curious about what's going on. Guys!!!! Ahhhh!

And the helicopter scene! That's another great McDanno moment. First, Danny jokes about animals although he loves animals. But he teases Steve about the gooses. And Steve comes up with the helicopter ride and doesn't even ask Danny if he's okay with it. He knows very well that Danny hates to fly with him. And oh, surprise! Danny goes! He jokes about the wild goose chase and Tani rolls her eyes at the boys! But Danny doesn’t scream and digs his heels in the ground just for the reason to show how much he doesn't want to be with Steve in a freaking helicopter, in the air!! Nope, he just went after Steve again with this mysterious smile.

As for the record, I…god…I loved seeing them paired up again, chasing bad guys, like in the old days. Time changes things, I get that but it was a great moment. And guess what. Steve is super correct and knows all the rules and is the pilot of the helicopter and yet he lets Danny use his cell although is highly prohibited and against the rules. But he lets Danny be. And Danny gives two shits about rules because they're in a no-fly zone because of gooses so no rules. And that's heavily teasing and an odd flirting with Steve. He dares him and Steve goes with it as always.

And I love that Steve still trusts Danny with all he's got. The Adam case bothers him and he leaves it to Danny to get through to his rogue team member. But Steve can't deny himself the comment if Danny can manage secrecy and Danny only lifts an eyebrow, tilting his head and quips a nice answer in return. Not offended in the slightest. That's really new and I freaking love it. Danny is much more relaxed and that rises my interest.

The guys going to live together for a longer time. That's going to be interesting and my heart whispers already poems of love…mm-hmm.

The half-season finale was just as good, as fantastic as every episode from season 10. I'm so in love. There's something thrilling about this season. It's heavy on the feels. The unexpected McDanno moments throw me. It's overwhelming. The cases are interesting and I never forget that it just a show and things might be bent a bit until they fit. Yes, they mess up timelines and don't follow up often on loose ends. I don't really dwell on those moments. I take what I get and I tend to extract the best moments for me. These 42 minutes and something always fills me with a giddy joy. I'm still enjoying every moment. It's still a wild ride and every episode leaves me with a lot to think about.

Lou is surprisingly fun. He's the one I struggle with the most. He's often over the top but so far, his scenes are filled with quip, pulling faces while discussing important leads, adding a lot of solid ohana-feelings and deep-rooted devotion to the team. This season Lou kind of grows on me. He's good people when he's not losing himself in some stupid, senseless explanation about how to dip malasadas in coffee or how to be a respected young man, or some stories about the good ol' days in Chicago.

The team has grown together. Tani fills her shoes and she walks tall. She's badass, proud, unwavering and would make Kono proud. She's full of admiration for Steve with the needed respect. But she's also the one who kind of sees the private person behind Steve the boss-man. She's caring and she's not afraid to show it. She loves Steve deeply, like a sister. She also breeches with ease Steve's professional persona. She expresses feelings and thoughts that have Steve gulp because it's so honest and straightforward and I love that.

Junior… man, this guy captured my heart. He's great. He's Earth where Steve's Air. They match as perfect Brothers. I'm always calm knowing Steve's not totally detached from his former, very important life as a SEAL. Junior watches out for him. Always, everywhere. He's grown a fantastic backbone and I'll never get tired of watching him morphing into a SEAL. He becomes a brother and a teammate for Steve. My heart still skips a few beats remembering the scene where they freed Joe White and Steve ordered him to stay behind, to not get entangled with the danger. And Junior's answer came sharply and precisely like a shot. "Today I'm a Seal and you're not my boss. We're a team and I'm coming with you." He said it with such confidence it blew me away. And it took Steve one second to recognize Junior as his brother. Junior is Steve's younger brother and he's always all in or nothing. I love his courage and the tender, shy side he always shows together with Tani. I love this boy and he's a good company for Steve. Keeps him sane.

Adam…Adam. Yeah, there's a lot going on. The way he laid down his gun and the badge was dramatic. I'm not sure yet what to think of that. I have always liked Adam. He fits into the team although he has never undergone any police training. He's born and bred Yakuza got taught from his father, a big name in that world. He should have had the courage to just tell Steve that things went wrong and he has to quit the team. That would have been the right thing to do.

The way he did hide information to safe his girlfriend was okay for me. Steve would have done the same, Lou and also Danny were already in such a situation and they just did what had to be done without informing anyone. But with Adam things went sideways and he went rogue, also emotionally and friendship-wise. After everything was settled he should have gone to Steve and get things out of the way. Steve would have understood. There, I don’t get Adam’s intentions.

Quitting the team like that? The worst imaginable way for Steve. You don't just quit the team and that's an emotional blow for Steve just because Steve cares for every single member on his team. But as I see it, Adam's world shifted when he lost Kono. Being an important member of the Yakuza makes you a slave, for a lifetime. You never can get out. So, they say. No freaking chance. Adam's history proves that. He killed his brother. He tried to be an honest businessman only to realize his past bites him in the ass. He ran away and tried to start a new life with Kono only to lose Kono to her obsession with a case that grew out of hand. Adam loves with all he's got. He has found new love with an old friend, unsurprisingly a daughter of a Yakuza boss. Adam grew up with all those people and now he's back in this energy. He knows the game. He's found a new woman and he loves again. For a man like Adam, he will do everything in his power to protect his woman. He won't lose again a woman he loves.

And his move to quit the team is about the woman he now loves. He has to stay close, by her side. Maybe he realized he only can really play one tune, only be fully immersed in one game, being on the Yakuza team. He betrays Five-O but as it seems Adam has reached a crossroad and his decision is made when he sits down at the head of a big table with other members of Tamiko's family and members of her father's clan.

Quinn…she wasn't in the episode and with some shame I have to admit I didn't even realize it. Not until someone pointed out that Quinn was missing. God, that's so horrible of me. She's a great team member but I seem to have a blind spot for her on the team. She doesn't leave an imprint. I can't tell you why. It's just…she's there and it's really good and she isn't and I don't miss her.

And the cliffhanger! Wo Fat is back. His name at least and seeing Steve's face when he spits his name revealed how much it pains him to just spell it. I think Steve might still have nightmares over what he had to undergo getting tortured, getting to hear dark, poisonous secrets his mother designed and everything came back to haunt Steve never to be really free of that massive emotional trauma. And now his nemesis is back in the form of Wo Fat's former wife. Just as cruel, brutal and cold-hearted as her husband. A killer seeking revenge with the deep wish to get to Steve.

Wow!

Season 10…ten points out of ten!

#h50 #h50spoilers #steve mcgarrett #danny williams #my edit #h50edit #h50 review #review #10.11. #h50 half-season finale #cowandcalf writes #musing #mcdanno #my fangirl goggles are always on

[albatris]

Hey hello I sent in an anon about starting tarot a while ago (I do not know when I know it was post quarantine starting but...time is wild) and i was wondering if you answered it? This isn't at all me trying to pressure you please please don't read it that way, i totally get it if you didn't! I just know that tumblr's search function is very broke and I'm scared I missed your answer, which would be sad. (I hope this doesn't sound like a bother it's genuinely all good if not I'm just checking!)

YES oh my gosh holy shit hello hi yes hi anon my dear I did in fact completely fucking forget to actually answer your original ask I am so sorry lmao

thank you for reminding me ajhdfgjhsdfg and again I’m so sorry it took me forever anyway I’m gonna just uhhhh look up your original ask real quick

OKAY so resources and starting decks! there are lots and lots of people who know more than me so I feel a little unqualified to answer this but I can tell you my thoughts?? but I definitely recommend looking into what other folks have to say on starting out, I’m sure there are lots of different opinions and ideas! :D

also sorry, it’s me you’re asking, so you’re not gonna get nice neat dot points and I’m not great at being concise, I’m just going to ramble if that’s ok, very sorry, very sorry

under the cut rambles

so........................

for learning meanings........ it’s a lot of work, there’s a lot of detail and a lot of different things to think about during readings, I’ve been learning tarot for around seven years on and off and I still don’t remember everything! 

so IMO it’s best not to come at tarot with the intent to Learn Everything before you start! it’s the perfect thing to learn as you go! my advice would be to just kinda throw yourself in. when you first get a deck, go through the cards and vibe with them some and look at their meanings, but mostly just kinda contemplate them, don’t try to memorise everything at once. start doing readings, look stuff up as you go............. I would recommend keeping a journal where you document your readings............ which will help you with memory and picking up on patterns and connections....... uhhhh

I really like using apps as a companion as well!  they can be a super good resource even if you don’t want to use them FOR readings necessarily

I use Galaxy Tarot as a convenient way to look up meanings and summaries of the cards when I just need to kinda jog my memory (though the descriptions aren’t super detailed), and it has a function where you can either do a reading with the app or you can do a reading yourself and then plug the cards you’ve drawn into the app, and it can help you with pointing out recurring themes and symbols and connections between the cards, which can be handy when you’re first starting out and maybe feel a little overwhelmed by the Amount Of Information you’re trying to take in

uhhhh another one I’ve used in the past is Labyrinthos Tarot, which is an app to help you learn and memorise the cards and their meanings., from what I can remember there are sorta, games and exercises to help with it, I forget exactly how it works since it’s been a while since I used it! but maybe that’s a good one to check out too?

I feel like apps is something i should’ve mentioned at the end but anyway moving on to the rest of it

most decks will come with a guidebook of some sort! so you’ve got the traditional rider waite tarot deck (which is probably the default deck most people think of when they think of tarot), and there are plenty of resources online such as Biddy Tarot which can give you a fairly detailed rundown of the card meanings! these meanings can be applied to variations of the rider waite cards, but lots of decks are a little wild and a little funky and are off doing their own thing while still following the basic rider waite structure, and if you receive a guidebook with a deck, that’s definitely an invaluable resource!! ‘cause it’ll give you the artist’s kinda interpretation and their meanings, their own personal touch, even if you then look up the card in more detail online

ALSO tarot is just a whole fuckin tonne about intuition as well though! so as much as it can feel like something where you need to focus on all the details and try and keep them all rigid and by-the-book, you might do a reading and feel yourself drawn in a certain different direction or just get a “feeling”, so you should definitely be open and flexible and listen to what your gut tells you as far as meanings go! plus, you will develop your own relationship to the cards and maybe draw your own personal meanings and associations! that’s definitely not something to fight against and don’t worry about whether that means you’re doing it “wrong” - you should listen to those feelings, those r important!! :D

lastly I will say, it can be helpful to have someone who is more experienced with tarot around who you feel you can ask for advice from or get second opinions from if there’s something you’re confused about! or who can give you tips and tricks from firsthand experience. like, it doesn’t have to be something you learn alone, and having a teacher or companion can be really helpful in terms of bouncing ideas and getting new perspectives! I throw this out there because I always forget to say things like this, ‘cause I forget that other people Are Not Me and other people like being around people lmao rip

and as far as starting decks go........... it really depends so much on what you want and what’s important to you! some people will say start with the traditional rider waite tarot, and if you decide to do that, you will certainly have a lot of resources at your disposal! it’s a valid place to start for sure

but there’s also SO many different decks out there with all sorts of themes and art and personality, and IMO......... I’d kinda urge you in the direction of choosing something you’re personally interested in and engaged with! it can make connecting with a deck easier and can help you stay interested and engaged during learning! but that’s just me

when I got my first deck the lady in the store kinda just took me to the collection of decks and just asked me which ones I vibed with and which one kinda called out to me or one I was drawn to, then she let me take a look at some of them and she showed me how to handle them and use them!! this was my first experience, n I was told just to go with what Feels Good And Right

n there’s so much cool art out there! and many interesting themes! you might not know which one you’ll latch onto until you see it, so take some time to look around and see what speaks to you c:

for instance, certain themes like cats or flowers, certain art styles, maybe certain series you’re into (I have two welcome to night vale decks n the raven’s prophecy by maggie stiefvater), or queer friendly decks! I have the Numinous Tarot which I ADORE, which is a deck with gorgeous artwork and extremely queer, all gender neutral language and lots of diverse designs, etc

so it depends what you’re into! take some time to feel it out, my friend

I would also like to throw out a mention to oracle decks as well! I actually started with oracle decks long before I used any tarot decks c: 

I am................... very tired. and blanking on the best way to explain the difference between oracle and tarot decks, but you can look into this if you’re interested! lots of people use both or use them in conjunction with each other and there’s benefits to both n so on and so forth........

but in terms of Starting Out, and getting comfy with doing readings? they can also be really helpful in this regard! I found since oracle decks can have any number of cards and are less “structured” than tarot decks in a way, it can be really helpful as a way to get comfortable with things if you find, just, the Amount Of Detail that is involved in tarot decks overwhelming!!

it was something that helped me get the ~feel~ of doing readings and sensing with the cards and vibin and such, n get some practice drawing connections between cards and deriving meanings from the stories the cards present! but in a way that’s not quite as...... overwhelming?? as traditional tarot decks?? I was SUPER intimidated by just how extensive tarot decks were when I first started and I thought I’d never figure out what I was doing HAHAHA

but again, it’s just practice, I think!

where tarot will follow the same 78 cards and structure and is very traditional and I guess “rigid” is not exactly the right word?? but yeah?? oracle decks are a lot more flexible in what they represent and a lot more loose in the structures they can take

I do love oracle decks because of how varied they are!! each one is its own little system and its own unique universe and it’s really quite lovely, even if you aren’t into Actually Doing Readings with them, y’know?

but then, I find tarot decks the same way, what will all the different art styles and different people’s interpretations and renditions of the same story, like, it’s really fascinating!! 

this has just turned into me rambling about how cool they are now

point is, do a little research into what sorts of decks and themes you might like to buy, when you get a chance I thoroughly recommend visiting a store so you can speak to someone who has some experience with tarot decks, they can help guide you when it comes to picking one and giving you some tips!! remember that it’s about intuition and following your gut as much as it is about memory and precision, so you should pick a deck that Feels Right

and uhhhhhhhhhhh

just kinda throw yourself in!! that’s literally my best advice!! you’re never gonna memorise everything beforehand (I’ve been learning on and off for seven years and I still often have to consult guidebooks and webpages) but you WILL absolutely learn as you go

it might feel very clumsy starting out, but as with any craft, you will improve with practice and begin to feel more comfy and confident with it as you go!

I hope this helped out some!! maybe!! possibly!!!!! ok goodnight!!!

#Anonymous #important caveat is that ive kinda just #been vibin on my own for most of my learning so i feel like #maybe there will be things i do that are not necessarily the ''right'' way or the common way or i might be #a little inexperienced and all #but i think it's also very personal and you'll find a way of doing things that works for u #in other words I Have No Idea If I Sound Like A Complete Dumbass when i talk about tarot #HAHAHAHA #anyway ok i hope this maybe gave you........ something...........? to work with #again i am so sorry i dont know how to be concise honestly i could have probably explained this in like #3 paragraphs #i can only hope u were aware of my rambling tendencies before u sent this and knew what u were in for lmaoo

[janellion]

rainy day with kags (4 lexee)

@oyakags asked: hello hello :) i’ve been thinking, and i was wondering if you would want to write a little somethin about spending a rainy day with kageyama? :) i don’t know if that’s too vague. absolutely no rush and of course you don’t have to at all if you don’t feel like it, but i love kags & you plus i love the vibe of rainy days and i feel like you are a master at vibes ♡

LEXEE!! thank you so much for requesting this!! i had so much fun writing it & thinking about you & kags (bc yeah i tried to cater it to you as much as possible hehe) i kinda took it in a different direction so i hope you like it! ♡ also master at vibes? you’re gonna kill me w these compliments i swear i-

pairing: kageyama tobio x gn! reader (written as f!reader but can be read as gn!reader)

genre: fluff (meet cute)

summary: sometimes the universe surprises you

wc: ~2.2k

song recommendations: rainy girl - andrew mcmahon and the wilderness x | she always takes it black - gregory alan isakov x

This morning when you left the house, the sun was shining, the birds were singing, and you could feel a warm breeze on the air. For all intents and purposes, it was a perfect summer day.

But, the universe had other ideas

Two hours into your planned day of errands, you feel a single raindrop wet your cheek.You brush it off with a gentle sweep of your hand, dismissing it as a fluke, and continue walking down the path of the outdoor mall, taking in the colorful storefronts and shops around you. 

But a few minutes later that first drop was followed by another, and then another until the sound of rain hitting the ground around you began to fill your ears

As happy as you were this morning about the sunshine, your heart leaps at the possibility of an unexpected storm. You take a moment to tilt your face up to the sky, feeling the warm summer rain against your face, wetting your hair, and seeping through the shoulders of your shirt as you raise your arms to feel the rain on your skin

You feel a smile creep onto your face, enjoying the spontaneity and rush of the summer storm around you before you hear a voice yelling from behind you. You whip around to greet the voice, wet hair sticking to your forehead, cheeks flushed from excitement, and eyes bright

When you turn around you find a tall dark haired man jogging toward you, dark eyes wide and staring at you with a light flush coloring his cheeks. He freezes as your eyes meet his, setting his jaw as your eyes drift to catch his adam’s apple bobbing up and then back down, before he closes the distance between you and clears his throat to speak

“You uh, were just standing in the rain,” he says, voice surprisingly low, as he holds out an arm to you, a crumpled piece of clothing in hand

You quirk an eyebrow at him, a smile ghosting your lips, before taking the offered clothing. You uncrumple the dark fabric in your hands until the shape of a rain jacket begins to form

- You pause for a moment before looking at the man in front of you, noticing how handsome he is, his dark eyes earnest and open, despite the purse of his lips

- He looks down at you, raising his eyebrows as he speaks, “Well you were standing in the rain. And I didn’t want you to get wet?”

- He ends the sentence with a cough, looking off to the side as he feels his cheeks begin to heat up again

- You laugh warmly, eyes twinkling as you take in the wet state of his clothes, the now-wet fabric of his shirt hanging from his broad shoulders and clinging to his arms

- You feel your cheeks flush before snapping your eyes upward to his face as you sling his jacket over your shoulders

- You smile as you push your arms through the sleeves noting the way they extend far past your hands, before smiling warmly up at him, “Thank you, that was really nice of you, uh,....?”

- He flushes again, taking in the sight of your bright eyes blinking up at him through wet eyelashes, hair wet and sticking to either side of your face, and a wide excited smile painting your soft lips before he realizes that you’re still waiting for an answer

- “Oh it’s Kageyama. Kageyama Tobio,” he finally says, bringing his eyes to yours before giving you a soft smile

- You return his smile and feel your body relax before your face falls as you realize — you’re both still standing in the rain

- “Oh my gosh, wait! We have to get you out of the rain, you don’t have a jacket anymore!” You say, grabbing him by the wrist and pulling him under the nearest awning to escape the rain

- Kageyama’s eyes widen as he feels your skin against his, warm despite the cooling sensation of the rain as it evaporates on his skin

- As you finish pulling him out of the rain, you look at him, eyes wide and apologetic, “Oh my gosh, I am SO sorry I don’t know how I didn’t realize you were getting all wet! I’m so sorry about that!” You exclaim, arms going to his shoulders to feel the dampness of his shirt

- He flushes at the contact, mind flashing back to the image of you looking up at him through wet eyelashes, a moist sheen on your smiling lips, before chuckling softly as he looks briefly down at the ground between you before bringing his eyes to meet yours, “It’s completely fine. I don’t blame you at all,” he says

- You exhale in relief, arms retreating back to your sides, before a smile tugs at the corners of your lips as you take in the sight in front of you

- He looks down at you through dark bangs, eyebrows quirked and lips pulled into a barely-there scowl, “What’s so funny?” He asks, not attempting to hide the suspicion in his voice

- You return his gaze, barely able to hold back a smile as you say, “Were you on your way to get a haircut or something?”

- With that, his scowl melts into a wide smile, and his eyebrows rise up behind matted bangs in surprise as his eyes begin to crinkle with laughter

- He brings a hand up to his hair, fingering the dark strands as water drips from them

- You watch as a single droplet makes its way down his cheek before landing on his barely exposed collar bone

- You snap your eyes back up to his quickly, feeling your face heat up, as you bite the inside of your cheek, only catching the end of his sentence

- “-standing there in the rain,” he finishes saying, a light blush on his cheeks, his eyebrows slightly furrowed as he speaks, betraying the soft look in his eyes

- You smile at him, nodding in understanding, pretending to have heard him before glancing at the door behind you over your shoulder

- You perk up upon noticing where you two have ended up: a coffee shop, and turn back towards Kageyama, smile bright on your face

- “You saved me from getting soaked, the least I can do is buy you a coffee,” you say, gesturing over your shoulder to the door of the coffee shop behind you

- His eyes widen briefly in surprise before he lets out a breath you hadn’t realized he had been holding

- You feel a strong arm wrap reach behind you, your eyes widening in surprise and cheeks flushing at the proximity of Kageyama’s face moving towards yours, before you’re pulled from your thoughts by the jingle of a bell

- Kageyama looks down at you, eyebrow quirked and a smile trying to push its way past his lips

- “After you”, he says, pushing the door open even further for you, revealing the bustling sounds of the shop and allowing the familiar smell of coffee to lazily drift out the doorway to greet you

- You pause for a brief moment, enjoying the proximity of Kageyama’s face inches from yours before turning around and stepping into the shop

- With your back turned, you don’t get to see the smile that’s been fighting its way past that scowl finally make its way onto his lips as he walks into the shop behind you

- You approach the counter, looking up at the playfully decorated menu hung up behind it, trying to decide what you want, before that strong deep voice pulls you from your thoughts

- “What do you want?” Kageyama asks, wallet already out, at the front of the line

- Your jaw drops momentarily and your eyebrows come together as you approach him, a teasing smile on your face as you recover

- “I was supposed to be treating you!” You laugh gently, trying to bump him out of the way with your hip

- To your pleasant surprise, he doesn’t move an inch, just looks down at you with the corner of his mouth quirked up and expectant eyes as he gestures to the waiting barista in front of you

- “OH I’ll have an iced vanilla coffee please,” you say, smiling at the barista as they take your order

- Kageyama hands over his card and you huff at him softly before sighing

- “Thank you, seriously” you say, looking up at him as the two of you walk to the other side of the counter. “I feel like I’m going to owe you a million favors by the end of the day,” you say, laughing sheepishly

- Kageyama looks at you, smiling that soft smile that lights up his dark eyes, before saying, “You don’t owe me a thing. I-,” he pauses for a moment, mind flashing back to when he first saw you, carefree smile on your upturned face, arms open, free and uncaring in a way he’d never experienced but felt so drawn to, “I really wanted to.”

- Before you can consider the faraway look in his eye, the barista calls Kageyama’s name and places your coffees on the counter with a smile

- “You two are a really cute couple,” they say, before turning around, completely oblivious to the effect their words have on you and Kageyama

- You take your coffee, heart beating fast and heat threatening to creep its way up your cheeks, before searching out the only open spot in the shop: a plush loveseat next to an electric fire

- You make your way over to the seat, failing to notice that Kageyama is still glued to the same spot you left him, blush painting his cheeks, stuttering as he tries to correct the barista who has long since moved away from the counter

- As you settle into the loveseat and take off Kageyama’s jacket, he takes a deep breath and releases it, trying to calm his nerves, before walking over to sit next to you

- You turn to him and smile, settling further into the couch as you get comfortable

- Kageyama on the other hand, is sitting like he’s about to be scolded by his parents for staying out past curfew, back straight and eyes forward

- You laugh softly at the sight in front of you, wondering how such a commanding and confident man can be simultaneously so awkward and shy

- You reach over and tap his shoulder, feeling the muscles tense at the brief touch

- “Relax,” you say, smiling over at him and placing a gentle hand on his shoulder as he finally turns his head to face you, “I’m not gonna bite”

- With that, he chuckles softly, mumbling something under his breath, before you feel the muscles in his shoulders relax, his tense body melting under your touch

- With a small chuckle you remove your hand and reach for your coffee, not failing to notice the stark change in temperature from the heat through Kageyama’s shirt to the chill of your coffee as you turn to watch the rain pour outside

- Kageyama seems to deflate a bit at the removal of your hand, but soon corrects his posture, grabbing his own coffee before following your gaze to look at the storm outside

- He pulls in a breath before turning to you, eyebrows furrowed, his dark eyes intense and trained on you, before releasing it

- You turn, sensing his gaze, a little taken aback at the intensity

- “What were you doing out there in the rain?” He asks, voice filled with a soft and measured intensity that you’re coming to associate with the man across from you

- You let out a breath, relieved that he wasn’t going to ask you something terrible and serious, before shrugging

- “I really love the rain, especially in the summer,” You say, turning to face him and bringing your eyes to meet his before continuing, “The warmth in the air and the cool rain on your skin. Who wouldn’t want to stand out there and enjoy it?”

- You pause, biting your lip before deciding to continue

- “There’s something so beautiful about a freak rain storm when it’s supposed to be nice outside,” you say, finally, returning the intensity of his look before continuing, “It’s like the universe wanted to send you a little surprise, you know?”

- Kageyama blushes before breaking eye contact with you to look back at the pouring rain outside

- His mind flashes back to the sight of you, face turned to the sky, eyes closed and carefree, smile on your face, and arms outstretched, looking for all the world like the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen

- “Yeah,” he says softly, turning to look back at you with that same intensity, only this time you finally recognize it’s undeniable warmth, “I think I know exactly what you mean.”

☽

taglist: @softkatsuki

a/n: this was alternatively titled “rainy girl” but @megalodon-writes said i wouldnt title it this & a dare’s a dare

if you have any ideas/requests, please feel free to send them in! i can’t guarantee that i’ll do all of them, but i’ll certainly try ♡

#lexee bb!! #i hope u like this!! #sending u all my love #mwah #janellion writes #kageyama x reader #kageyama tobio x reader #kageyama oneshot #kageyama drabble #haikyuu!! x you #haikyuu x reader #hq!! #hq #haikyuu writing

[angelkurenai]

Hurricane - Dean Winchester x Reader (Detective AU) - Part 12

Title: Hurricane

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Word count: 5,511

Warnings: Almost Smut, Nudity

Summary: With one of the most dangerous serial killers on the loose and in your tracks you have no choice but to rely on the help of the police to ansure your safety. It doesn’t hurt that the detective in charge is the one of the most skilled there is and probably, well, definitely the most charming one you have ever seen. Or that his flirting with you takes your mind off the danger waiting for you right around the corner. & Based on: Imagine detective Dean Winchester flirting with you while working on your case.

Read Part 1 here! l Read Part 2 here! l Read Part 3 here! l Read Part 4 here! l Read Part 5 here! l Read Part 6 here! l Read Part 7 here! l Read Part 8 here! l Read Part 9 here! l Read Part 10 here! l Read Part 11 here!

“He hasn't come back yet?” Sam's voice on the computer made you look up from your phone and you shook your head.

“No, and it's already very late.” you glanced out of the window to see that indeed the darkness had set in for good “He keeps checking in every 15 minutes but I-” you stopped yourself, biting your lower lip and the younger Winchester gave you a soft knowing smile.

“Can't help but worry for the rest of the 14.95 minutes about him.” he nodded his head at his own words and you huffed, looking down at your hands.

“Stop that.” you grumbled and he grinned.

“Stop what?” he raised an eyebrow.

“That. You act like you know everything about my feelings because they- they are obvious like a neon sign in the darkness to the entire world but your brother.” you pursed your lips like a little kid when you heard your best friend laugh with you.

“Well, I wasn't gonna say but-” he shrugged with a fond smile “It is kinda true. Dean wouldn't realize it even if a truck him right in the face. I can't even count the times I've had to third-weel for the two of you and all of that flirting still has not led to a date.” he shook his head, leaning back in his seat.

“Speaking of which-” you chewed on your lip, glancing once more at your phone “I uh I met... Jack this morning and he said some things about Dean that got me thinking.”

“And had you feeling a certain kind of way too, maybe?” he smirked and you glared at him as hard as you could master “I know Jack very well to not even ask what he's spilled.” his smile got softer, no longer teasing you "But if you ask me (Y/n)... you shouldn't put your whole life on hold because you- you assume things are just happening in your mind. You-you don't have a reason to hide it anymore or to forever wait hopelessly in love with the man to tell him what you feel.”

“You say this as if I even have a chance with him, Sam.” you scoffed, trying not to let your hopes get up.

“And you say this as if you don't!” he looked at you in disbelief “(Y/n), he kissed you just two days ago! You told me that yourself, how can you forget that?”

“Yes because I was having a panic attack and he didn't know how to get me back to my senses but that was all!” you couldn't help but feel your heart drop at the thought “I- We talked about it Sam, that very night. He didn't- he said there were no feelings behind it, only him doing his job. He made it clear it meant nothing. So there, I don't think there is much of a chance after all.”

“Wh-what?” he blinked, eyebrows raised in surprise “That idiot, what was he- No, (Y/n), you gotta hear me out! I know my brother, and trust me when he is with you or- or even talks about you it's so much more different than it is with any other woman! Do you think he'd go to such extents to protect you if you weren't that important to him?”

“As a friend, probably! Family even, but let's be honest Sam, if he really wanted something more he'd- he'd have made a move or at least told me something.” you shook your head “Flirting is- it's what Dean does and even if he wants a casual night with me I'm- I'm not up for it. I want something serious and he doesn't, he never does. I don't blame him but I can't keep waiting or trying for something that will just never happen. I- I know I could try but gosh Sam I've hurt enough as it is with the entire case, both physically and mentally, and my heart is or most part in one piece.” you rambled as all your friend could do was stare at you with wide eyes.

You were trying so desperately to convince yourself, though, because sadly Sam wasn't saying it clearly how Dean felt (you partially understood it wasn't his job to) but you were growing impatient at the same time when thinking about that almost-kiss and what it could mean.

“You-” he let out a shaky breath, running a hand through his hair “You two are seriously the world's biggest idiots!”

“Why would you say-” before you could fully question him though your phone buzzed and you didn't even have the chance to blink before you reached fast for the device to read Dean's message.

You heard Sam scoff and mumble to himself something that sounded like “Not in love my ass.” but you didn't question it.

“He- wow.” you breathed out with wide eyes “He found him, Sam! He- Chuck's in town and he will be for a couple days, he says he's sent you the adress?”

“Yeah, I got it. I'm not far away... what is it?” he question with a frown when he heard you snicker.

“Oh uh nothing, it's just-” you giggled “He says he's in desperate need of lots and lots of beers right now to forget the 60-year-old woman he had to hit on.”

Sam rolled his eyes “Why did I even ask? Anyway- Tell him it's better if he returns immediately to your motel room, the less he's out there, the better. It won't take me long to get there and I'll keep an eye out all the time.”

“Alright then, please drive safe.” you whispered and he gave you a nod and warm smile.

“Will do.” he nodded his head “And for the love of, (Y/n), just listen to me for once.”

“Sam” you sighed softly but he gave you a stern look.

“I'm serious. I'm sick and tired of you two pinned over each other and crushing harder than a pair of 12-year-olds and I swear if I see you doubt what he feels about you once more, I'm going to lock you in a room until you've figured it out! Hell, even Jack knows and you keep refusing it's a thing but I swear to you, I'm going to keep up my promise if you so much as dare to deny it once more!”

“O-ok I'll think about it. I will, I promise!” you nearly raised your arms in surrender. Fed-up Sam was the most scary Sam you had seen so far.

“You better.” were the last words he breathed out to you before you were left in silence. You still weren't sure about Sam taking Dean's place on keeping an eye out for Chuck, in case he left his motel, because it wouldn't make much of difference if Amara found any Winchester in the town, she'd instantly know you were all there.

But some selfish part of you worried about Dean's well-being a little more, not to mention him catching some shut eye. You'd heard more than plenty from his nightmare the previous night, along with all of the pacing he'd done, and in more than a few messages he hinted that he felt worn out. That, along with the nagging feeling you had ever since that peck made you want him to get back as soon as possible to test the waters of... whatever relationship you had going on.

“As if you didn't enjoy it! ;)” you typed the reply and with a sigh got up from the chair to make your way to the bathroom. You wished that after a relaxing bath everything would be calm, at least for one night, and you could get the chance to relax and... hopefully forget about the outside world with Dean. Hopefully.

~*~

Walking into the motel room an involuntary sigh escaped Dean's lips. He placed the plastic bags on the sole table in the room and his eyes did a once over of the entire place in search of your figure. For a second he tensed up when he didn't see you around, he took a few long strides and frantically almost now looked around. It wasn't until he heard some shuffling come from the door to his left that he realized he had not thought of the most obvious of all.

Taking a step towards the bathroom he only found himself freezing in his tracks. He knew he should have immediately turned around and pretended he had not seen a thing but his body refused to listen to whatever logical part of his brain was left anymore. For some reason he was reminded of his dream not too long ago and he felt even more compelled to stand there.

The door was slightly ajar, letting him have just the right view inside the bathroom were you had just started getting dressed after a shower. While it was comforting that you were just fine, it wasn't comforting to realize the kind of effect you had on him.

He felt like some sort of weirdo, a creep like the kid he'd caught looking at you through the window of your room all that time ago, but at least in his defence he didn't get off on it or made a habit out of it, not to mention that he knew you. Plus, he didn't do it on purpose. He had only stumbled upon it and he just couldn't pull away from you. But that was a fact from the very beginning: Being so drawn to you. The attraction first to your appearance and very soon to your character had been undeniable from the first moment and if things were different he'd already have taken you out on more than plenty of dates, if you had said yes that is. It didn't help at all that he had spent so much time thinking about the kiss you had shared not so many hours ago or that almost kiss previously the same day, practically had his mind consumed with you.

All in all, it was different – well, he couldn't lie to himself – he was in love with you and he hoped and wished that you felt the same even in the least bit.

He watched the drops of water slide down from your still wet hair to your bare back he felt like he ran out of breath. His eyes watched the way your muscles flexed as you patted your body with a towel, trying to dry most of the water. You were standing all but naked, save for the pair of panties you had on, and he would be lying if he said his eyes didn't skip over your every curve and edge once or twice so that he could take everything in and remember it. He was so tempted to just push the door open and help you, no matter the form or direction that ended up going to. He almost felt his fingertips tingle with the need to touch you.

He was so caught up between admiring you and trying to understand the plethora of emotions swimming through his body that he didn't even realize it when you managed to put on a pair of pants and a shirt and were getting so much closer to him. He didn't even have the time to react when-

“Dean” your voice held so much relief, as if you hadn't noticed how awkward he was being only half a second ago trying to pretend he hadn't been standing there or as if you did know but chose to ignore it completely. Your shoulders relaxed instantly and an easy smile formed on your lips “I was going to wait for you but I seriously felt like my clothes were going to stick to my skin for good very soon so I couldn't-”

“S-Sure after everything that happened you needed something to help you relax...” he trailed off, almost cursing at himself for how unsure he sounded.

“Yeah, I mean, I had some serious thinking to do as well. So I suppo-” but you stopped mid-sentence and it was then he cursed under his breath. You studied him for a bit and after a moment your smile fluttered and your eyebrows pulled into a frown. You reached out and grabbed his arm before he could get away.

“Dean?” Oh how it made him weak on the knees to hear you say his name. You didn't do so often and it was such a shame he realized in that moment.

“Dean?” it was a whisper this time and it distracted him even further in all the bad possible ways that he certainly couldn't afford at the moment “Is everything alright? Something wrong?”

“Apart from the fact that we're hiding from a psycho? No I wouldn't say much.” he cleared his throat, his eyes flying over your form for a second or two and it was possibly the worst decision he could make. Given that your face was flushedbecause of the hot shower, your hair still wet and even your clothes just a bit in a far too sinful way because he couldn't help but want to help you dry up in more than one ways. He hurried to add “I've gotten burgers in case you're hungry. And uh pie, which I know you li-”

“Dean” and there it was again and it made a lump form in his throat. He felt your fingers on his chin, only two fingers slowly turning his face in your direction without even the slightest of protests, but then again you could shift his entire world with just a look “Tell me.”

His eyes did another once over but this time focused on your face where he noticed a familiar, soft and calm look of understanding there. You smiled a bit, taking a step closer as if you weren't already significantly close but who needed to breathe anyway? Certainly not Dean at that moment.

“Alright then, I will tell you.” you slid your hand up his arm “About what I've been thinking about. About what... we haven't really talked about yet and I-” you looked up to meet his eyes again “I want to. Without any lies or hiding anymore. Just a straight answer, don't care if it hurts me. But no lies.”

“Wh-what about?” his voice was getting lower and it made it harder for you to focus.

You licked your lips, not knowing it had the same if not worse effect on him. His eyes followed the line of your tongue and you could hardly fight a small smile of your own when you whispered “What Jack said.” your eyes locked and he stiffened more, if possible “Was it true?”

“Is that the kind of thinking you've been doing in the shower?” he softly and barely raised an eyebrow.

You shrugged glancing away for a mere moment “Would you prefer I was doing some kind of... other thinking? Or maybe something else aside from showering?”

His breath got caught in his throat. There was no mistaking the way your lips curved up into a very flirty smirk, the kind that he'd given you plenty of times before, and there was no doubting the words you said. You had never been more bold than that and it did catch him by surprise in a good way.

“Maybe.” he asked instead, shrugging before licking his own lips “Depends.”

You held his gaze for a few more seconds, your hand slowly sliding up to his chest and up his flannel where your fingers toyed with the collar of his flannel “On?”

It took him some time to reply simply because of how focused he was on your lips - or was it how kissable they looked at the moment? Then again, they always did. Mustering all the confidence he could, although still with hazy eyes said “Me being the focus of your attention the entire time?”

“Why detective-” you grinned easily, leaning closer to him “Don't you know?” he expected you to mock him a bit, tease him but he didn't get any of it. Instead he felt your fingers light as a father trace up his jaw, to his cheekbones before combing through his hair, sliding to the back of his head and tugging softly “I can't take my mind off you... no matter where my hands end up wandering.”

His head was tilted so that was only inches away from yours, your forehead almost leaning against each other's so you heard the sharp intake “You seem rather comfortable talking about it. Do you do that often?”

“Hm that's a secret you'll have to do some more serious interrogation to get out of me, detective. Besides-” you glanced down at his lips “How often do you do it?”

“Are you that interested to know?” was it audible? He had no idea.

“More than I'd care to admit out loud.” you gave him a small shrug and smirk.

“Why?” he asked in a low voice.

“Why... what? Why can't I admit it out loud or... why do I do it in the first place? Because if it's the second one then-” you were almost pressed against him and he'd give anything to press you against the wall in addition “I'm sure you can think of a reason or two.” your voice had dropped to a lower seductive tone and he was barely holding back a sound in his throat that, he was sure, wouldn't sound anywhere near human. Especially with how your eyes roamed over him. He didn't know just how much thinking you had done and for what reason but he didn't want to complain.

“But that's something we were supposed to talk about later.” your voice, softer brought him back to reality again “I asked a question and I did mean it. Seriously... I want to know if it was indeed true.”

“Why?” it came out in a raspy voice, almost frowning “Why do you want to know so much?”

“Is it not obvious? Has it not been from the beginning? I- I know what I've said in the past could be taken both ways but... I told you I did some thinking. Some serious thinking.” you murmured “Besides, what difference will it make if you know the reason?”

“It will, to me yes it will.” it was him who got closer “And you said it: no lies. Yet I'm not getting the full truth here. Tell me why do you really want to know?”

You shrugged a bit, your face burning but no point in backing down now. Taking a deep breath you watched as his own other free hand slid up your bare arm and he took gentle hold of your chin to make you look at him even though you weren't far from it. You let him rub his thumb on your cheek for a second, slowly drifting to your lower lip.

“For the same reason as you.” you whispered, not missing the way his shoulders relaxed. He held your gaze. Not so many words in a simple sentence that meant a million things, a million feelings. For the same reason he wanted to know why Jack's words mattered to you. A reason that was only-

“It was.” his voice came out more confident than before and he took a deep breath as if finally able to breathe “I-it was. You're right, it was. I- I'm– I'm a fool for you, an absolute and total fool for you.”

“What-” you started, the two words he repeated having surprised you but if only for a couple seconds. It was when realization set down on you maybe a bit harder than you had initially expected.

“It was true. What Jack said, everything he said was true.” it was like you could hear it. And even more, everything everybody else said was indeed true

Your breath hitched in your throat and your eyes all-but-widened. Two words that meant so much more than you could ever possibly comprehend. He had never been so open about it and so sincere, more than you had ever seen him before (if it was possible at least) and above all more scared than ever. He looked almost shy about it, at first, but then you realized he too was holding his breath after the words left from his lips. Maybe he had been unable to stop them, maybe he was speaking from his heart and couldn't stop it, maybe he wanted you to know but not yet and maybe... there were a thousand possibilities. You could think about them all you wanted but truth was it would take forever and you had obviously lost far too much valuable time thinking about what could and couldn't be instead of just going for it.

“A-are you going to say someth-” he started, making you realize you had been silent for a bit too long.

“Good.” you cut him off, voice a bit shaky “G-good to know.”

It wasn't what he expected to hear so it did make him frown but when he parted his lips ready to speak, no words came out. Instead every sound was muffled by the pair of your own lips on his. The gasp that left when you took hold of the collar of his flannel and pressed yourself as close as possible to him was simply adorable. You had probably taken the both of you by surprise because this was no kiss fueled by some sort of emergency and it was no kiss happening by mistake. Despite the both of you being in a life or death situation, for lack of better words, this was a kiss happening for entirely different reasons.

Just to wipe out any doubt you might have he started kissing back with just as much passion only three seconds later. A soft laugh came from you when his hands found your middle soon followed by a yelp when he took hold of your thighs and lifted you up with ease. His lips were much more firm against yours. His tongue brushed over your lower lip and you parted your lips to give him full entrance. His tongue was hot on yours and it tasted like coffee. You let him have his way, enjoying it all along, as his wet lips hungrily devoured yours. The low moan that he gave you when you caught his lower lip between your teeth made you grin. You nibbled on it, making him push you harder against the wall and getting a giggle from you.

He kissed you fully on the lips again, stealing your breath away. His tongue was no more gentle as before, if anything it seemed quiet the opposite. “Something tells me-” you panted when he pulled just an inch away “You've been looking forward to this?”

“Don't you know?” he asked in a gruff voice, his lips leaving a wet trail of kisses down your neck. Pushing you against the wall you arched your hips forward, earning a moan from him.

“Figured.” you bit your lip, shuffling to get the jacket off his shoulders “So that's why you've been staring at me through the open door huh?” you grinned when he froze for a moment. You leaned closer to his ear “What, detective?” you kissed it “Thought I wouldn't notice? Then why do you think I put on a small show for?” you trailed your lips down to his neck.

His shoulders relaxed and a deep chuckle made his chest rumble “Seriously, best kind of thinking you've ever done, sweetheart.”

“Life's too short. And I wasted too much time overthinking. I wanna act on it now. But you can thank Jack for it later.” you grinned and he chuckled.

“Besides, don't worry. You're definitely taking me out too but for now- I'm not holding back.” you huffed, trying to get him rid of his flannel as well. He pulled just a bit away, helping you but still giving you a raised eyebrow “What? You saw more than plenty before. It would be only fair.”

“It would, yes. Also-” he let go of you to stand on your feet to, much to your pleasant surprise, pull his black T-shirt over his head “All that for me? How considerate. I might have to repay you for that. What kind of services would you like this time m'am?”

“I can think of something. Can't you?” you grinned, hooking your fingers through the hem of his jeans and pulled him closer to you. His eyes widened once more in surprise but chuckled nonetheless.

“Maybe I could.” his voice was more rough, the look on his face more determined and serious, and it immediately made the familiar feeling set down harder on the pit of your stomach.

His eyes roamed your figure rather shamelessly. The fact that your shirt was still a bit wet and you had no bra didn't help at all in fighting the deep red off your cheeks. The way his eyes darkened made you shiver. Bringing a hand up to rest on the nape of your neck, slowly sliding to your cheek. He leaned in, kissing your forehead as if to make a promise, then your cheek and then your lips where he didn't pull away from. He didn't need any effort to push you down on the bed. With your hands hooked on his jeans you pulled him down, not that he even wanted to stay more than an inch away from you.

Your hips bucked up involuntarily, grazing the stiffness in Dean's pants that made you let out a shaky breath. He pushed your hips with his asking for as much friction as possible but only groaned in your mouth when you showed him you weren't going as gentle as before. His hands came to rest on your hips, squeezing so tight that you were sure it was going to leave a bruise. Compared to any other kiss this one was filled with much more raw emotion, need and a hint of lust.

Your fingers fumbled with his belt with just as much impatience as his fumbled with your shirt. Although he was more focused on getting as much skin contact as possible. You shuddered when his hands moved underneath your shirt and trailed up your sides to your chest, the touch only making your let out a whine when he refused to give you release but only torture you a bit more with his hands. To get him back for the teasing you held firmly onto his jeans, with your legs around his waist, you flipped him over that you were on top of him.

You pulled away just a bit to look down at him licking the remainer of your taste on his lips with a grin always plastered on his face. His hands didn't leave their place from underneath your shirt which was probably just why he was grinning like that. Cheeky bastard. With a mere move, though, you managed to wipe off the smile. With a hand almost over his hard on and a thrust of your hips you had his eyes widening and him choking on a moan that came unexpectedly.

You leaned down but repeated the move, your bodies sliding together, as he practically held his breath. Your lips found his again and with a harder push he couldn't hold back a grunt. A thrust of his own hips came and his hands that had stilled before were now even more frantic over your body. It was almost a game at this point, for everything. Seeing who'd last longer before breaking - at anything whether it was a moan or another thrust - and who would get be the one on top.

So it wasn't long before Dean was laying on top of you again and had you moaning even more. There was no minding it though when you were too busy craving more of his touch. But if he wanted to torture you with his hands so could yours. His rhythm turned wilder, his breath becoming even more erratic, making you squeeze your legs around him.

“Fuck, sweetheart.” you didn't even realize it when he had taken your shirt off. His eyes roamed your figure, dark and filled with want, but they only focused on your eyes in the end which made you relax more than you ever imagined. A laugh came from him, his breath hot and heavy against your neck “You're going to make me come in my pants already, princess. Haven't done that since I was a teenager.”

A giggle burst from your lips and you tightened your hold around his shoulders, your lips brushing over his as you spoke “Did you happen to do that often?”

He let a deep throaty moan when you pressed your bare chest flushed to his but grinned nonetheless “More or less. Although you make me feel like I'm 16 again, I get the impression that if I were to meet you when we were actually 16 there'd be a lot more of that coming.”

“Is there a pun intended?” you laughed as he shook his head “So you're saying, supposing we were the same age, you'd want me the same?”

“Sweetheart, there's no way my 16-year-old-self would let you walk by not even in my wildest dreams.” he said in a husky voice “I'd be crushing on you harder than a freaking teenager. Let alone the rest of the... thinking I would do with you in mind.” he said in between attacking your neck with kisses.

“Oh thinking is what we're going to call it now.” you giggled before your voice lowered and you whispered in his ear “I like how that sounds.”

“If only you knew, sweetheart.” he said breathlessly “I've dreamed about you.” he whispered roughly in between the kisses “Wanted you. Ever since we first met, I was a gonner. Don't know how you did it but damn you got me baby.” he mumbled against your skin as he licked and sucked on your neck now, he chuckled softly “I couldn't stop thinking about you.”

He didn't even realize it when the exact same words came out.

“It's easy to understand... You simply cannot resist me.” the words were innocent to you but not him.

As if electricity shot right through him, Dean's eyes snapped wide open and he pulled away faster than he ever had in his life. He stared at you with wide eyes as it dawned on him. He felt as if he was being pulled back to that dream and it scared him to the bone. Dean shook his head furiously, his breath having caught in his lungs as he stumbled to get back and away from you.

“D-Dean?” your voice was barely filled with pain, rather more worry and it warmed his heart because she would never sound like that. It reminded him it was still you, you that he had held and loved truly. “Dean...” you started but he only got further away, leaping off the bed and you hurried to put your shirt back on, standing on the edge of the bed “Is everything ok? What- what happened? Did I do someth-”

“No” he hurried to say, wanting to kick himself for making you doubt yourself even for a moment “No, it's not- you didn't do anything. You never could, I'm just- Ah fuck.” he groaned dragging a hand down his face before he fell down on the floor, back against the wall and head resting in his hands in defeat.

“Dean” you were almost scared to ask. You slowly approached him, kneeling in front of him and hesitating to place a hand on top of his “Dean talk to me. Something is going on with you... I could help.”

“You can't- you won't-” he felt like all his words were burning his throat, his head swimming with only one thought “You...” he pulled his hands away from his face and looked down “You will hate me.”

“Wh-what?” you blinked in surprise “Dean... I could never- What are you talking about?”

After such a great act of love, after he had already showed you how much you meant to him, after he was ready to experience your love and give you all of his he was sure he wouldn't be able to take it. But he also wasn't able to take the voice in his head, the constant feeling of being on edge and of feeling so much fear.

“I-” the lump in his throat made it impossible to talk, just as much as the fear settled deep in his heart but he knew that it would happen sooner or later and he didn't want to take advantage of your love when he didn't deserve. When he felt like he didn't deserve anything but your hate.

“I let her free, (Y/n). I was the one that set Amara free.”

~~~

A/N: My fave chapter is here! Right before it all goes to hell, I hope you enjoyed these lovely moments! Feedback is welcomed and tags are sadly closed!

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