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#hate how long the fucking comic title is but whatever
peachesofteal · 2 days
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I might be reaching or something but is the title of Cool Girl a Gone Girl reference or something?
Yes, it’s a direct reference to the cool girl monologue. I hear it in my head (in Rosamund Pike’s voice because I love her) all the time.
Men always say that as the defining compliment, don’t they? She’s a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl.
Men actually think this girl exists. Maybe they’re fooled because so many women are willing to pretend to be this girl. For a long time Cool Girl offended me. I used to see men – friends, coworkers, strangers – giddy over these awful pretender women, and I’d want to sit these men down and calmly say: You are not dating a woman, you are dating a woman who has watched too many movies written by socially awkward men who’d like to believe that this kind of woman exists and might kiss them. I’d want to grab the poor guy by his lapels or messenger bag and say: The bitch doesn’t really love chili dogs that much – no one loves chili dogs that much! And the Cool Girls are even more pathetic: They’re not even pretending to be the woman they want to be, they’re pretending to be the woman a man wants them to be. Oh, and if you’re not a Cool Girl, I beg you not to believe that your man doesn’t want the Cool Girl. It may be a slightly different version – maybe he’s a vegetarian, so Cool Girl loves seitan and is great with dogs; or maybe he’s a hipster artist, so Cool Girl is a tattooed, bespectacled nerd who loves comics. There are variations to the window dressing, but believe me, he wants Cool Girl, who is basically the girl who likes every fucking thing he likes and doesn’t ever complain. (How do you know you’re not Cool Girl? Because he says things like: “I like strong women.” If he says that to you, he will at some point fuck someone else. Because “I like strong women” is code for “I hate strong women.”)
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aaaaagaronia · 2 years
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really hate how she looks in her orignal comic so i took things in my own hands
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gffa · 1 year
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No, seriously, I can’t tell you what a mindfuck it is to get back into a series you left approximately 10 years ago, so you have a basic foundation of knowledge and you read a shitload of the source material, but so much has happened in that time and you’re fine with picking and choosing which parts to read (it’s comics, reading order is only for those who were keeping up at the time or people who want to give themselves a nervous breakdown, just read storylines whatever in whatever order you want), but you don’t know which ones are good and which ones are bad and that’s the thing that makes it really mindfucky. Because sometimes you just have to wholesale throw out a given author’s take on a comics character, because they’re just really crap at writing them.  Did you know Chuck Austen once wrote for the X-Men?  No, he didn’t, because 99% of us agreed it was such shit that we threw it out and never looked back.  Did you know Judd Winick wrote for the Batfam comics at one point?  Well, he half did, because I loved half of what he wrote and the other half no longer exists because I hated it.  Same for Devin Grayson, I will go to bat for her Gotham Knights work, but her Nightwing work made me want to rage scream into a pillow, I was so excited when she was announced for the title and then..... that. And that’s not even getting into authors you hated/loved while the majority of fandom felt the reverse, to this day I want to light Morrison’s X-Men work on fire, but everyone else loves them, and I still don’t know what I think of their DC work, well, I think I remember liking their JLA run, but their Batfam stuff is complicated for me.  So I can’t just ask someone, “Hey, is this author’s work good?” because maybe I’ll feel the opposite!  Or maybe I’m the one who’s wrong because characterization has evolved in a way I’m not yet aware of! All of that is part and parcel of reading comics, it’s fine, you get used to it, but that’s while you’re in it.  I stepped away for so long and now I’m reading comics and, oh, hey, I liked this issue!  And, you know, it’s fine that I liked it, I’m not changing my mind based on what others think, but until I read 5,000 more issues, I won’t know how it does or doesn’t complement the other ways the character are written, and like. That’s also fine, but what I mean is. I have opinions on these characters, but also I can’t have opinions on these characters until I read a lot more because *waves hand* 10 years of lore that I only very, very vaguely followed, and it’s SUCH a mindfuck to be caught between these two views!  I have opinions but also I don’t have opinions, I’m old hat at this and also a baby at the same time, I know so much and I know nothing at all, it’s fucking weird to wrap my head around!!
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johaerys-writes · 3 months
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Happy lunar new year! I hope your first few days of the dragon year is going well so far:)
and please can I have a wip wednesday for modern au patroclus?
Happy lunar new year to you too anon!! Not sure if you sent this one on Wednesday but I only just saw it, so you can have a WIP Sunday instead ☺️ I've been super busy and overwhelmed lately so writing has been slow, but yesterday I typed the last words, the VERY last words of the last chapter of you're a walking disaster and yet- and I'm still sort of trying to come to terms with that 😭 It needs a ton of editing still so not sure when it will be up exactly, but in the meantime have a little snippet:
The library of his childhood bedroom is so much more interesting than Patroclus ever gave it credit for. He peruses the many titles he has accumulated over the years, a mix of old classics from Peleus' dusty shelves, comic books and used novels from the old bookstore in Phthia. He pulls out one of his old favourites and sits at the edge of the bed, flipping through its yellowed pages. The familiar musty smell fills him with the same sense of peace he had when he was last reading it at the shed, leaning against the willow tree. 
"Did you even know this one was hiding here?" he says as he hears the door opening. "I swear I had forgotten all about it."
Achilles walks over to the bed; his hair is still damp from his shower and his skin smells of soap and cream. He barely gives the book a glance before he plucks it from Patroclus' hands and sets it down on the bed beside them, then straddles Patroclus' lap. He interlaces his fingers behind Patroclus' neck but doesn’t move closer to kiss him. He only stares down at him, solemn and silent.
Patroclus sighs, leaning his head back against the wall. "I know," he says. "I know I fucked up. Whatever you're about to say you're right. I'm sorry."
Achilles doesn't speak; he doesn’t even seem to accept or refuse his apology. He only keeps staring at him, his brows drawn in a frown. Patroclus shakes his head and looks away. 
"Look, I'm just… not ready for Peleus to hate me yet." 
"What are you talking about?"
"That's what this is about, right? That I didn't let you tell Peleus about us." 
Achilles' expression softens but he still gives him a questioning look. "What are you so afraid of, Pat?" 
"You know what," Patroclus says quietly. 
"Again with this," Achilles sighs. It isn’t the first time they're having this conversation. "So what if my father learns of it? How bad can it be? What could he possibly do?"
"He could get mad at both of us," Patroclus shrugs. "At me more than you, perhaps. He could kick me out and disown you."
"He would never do that!"
"It wouldn’t be unheard of. Other fathers have done worse."
"My father is many things, but he's not that." Achilles cups Patroclus' cheek and tilts his face towards him. There is so much knowing in those eyes when Patroclus meets them. "Pat." 
"I’m just worried about this, okay?" Patroclus mutters. "Peleus is… he's important to me. His opinion of me is still important to me. And I also don’t want what we have to create a rift between you two."
"My father has barely been in my life, our lives, for years, Pat." Achilles rolls his eyes. "Nothing you or I did could ever create a rift like the one he has created."
"He took me in when no one else would," Patroclus continues stubbornly. "He gave me a home. He didn’t ask for anything in return."
A brief silence lingers between them. Achilles gives him a long look; his lips twitch in a small, sad smile. "That’s not quite true," Achilles says quietly. "Right?"
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wormsin · 2 months
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Do you think DC is writing Bruce's character so into the ground that they're evntually going to separate the Dynamic Duo for good? It's no secret that Nightwing is basically surpassing Batman in popularity now, and most fans are fed up with Bruce's character, practically to the point of hating him and wanting him no where near the BatFam. Do you think DC will give in to these kinds of wishes, and have them keep their lives/stories apart for good? I doubt they'd want to risk Nightwing's high status. (If anything I think they're writing Batman so terribly so they can make an excuse to be rid of him - at least for a while?)
I haven't been caught up on Batman, Detective Comics, Nightwing or World's Finest since the end of 2022 so I don't know what you're referring to specifically. what are people mad at Bruce for now?
but no, DC is absolutely not going to ever break up Batman from Nightwing/Batclan/Batman Rogues and Villains stories in any kind of permanent way.
first of all, Batman is *enormously* popular. whatever subset of fans don't like him, they are a minority. Batman and Batman-related titles have basically been DC's #1 seller since the 90s. in 2021 and 2022, Batman-related titles accounted for 38% of all DC's new releases. and like, that's including Nightwing, Robins, Rogues, Villains, etc. but a lot of it is the big guy himself. I'm fairly sure it's its own big department in DC. and they are spending the most money and hiring the 'best' artists and writers for Bruce.
Nightwing is growing in popularity but is still outperformed by several Batman issues. there are plenty of pop crit articles in the last few years about how Nightwing might be better and more popular than Batman, which is laughable because Tom Taylor's writing is flat as a crepe.
DC *has* removed Bruce before! he was lost in time and Dick was Batman for 2+ publication years. Dick was out of commission as Nightwing for that, for Grayson (2014-2016) *and* as Ric (2018-2020). it's not unheard of to remove or fundamentally alter a main character for like two years—
before returning to the status quo.
anyway, I think the larger point is that there is not going to be character development or emotional continuity between any Batman-related titles, ever. whatever is going on with Damian's relationship to Bruce in the Batman title is going to have no bearing on Damian's relationship to Bruce in Batman and Robin. they can't even maintain continuity between Nightwing and Batman when Dick and Bruce are in the same room. they can't remotely keep a coherent timeline of events, and we often have multiple Bruce plots running at once in Gotham in ways that break space time!
this is due to DC's publication structure. and it makes it very hard for writers to do things to characters and the world that have actual impact in the long-term. so whatever conflicts or turmoil happen in a run, they have to be resolved within the run because the next three writers are not necessarily going to know or care about it. (this is why Bruce "gets away" with being a Huge Ass.)
even if we just take the Watsonian look at things, there is nothing Bruce could do that Dick would not forgive. Bruce has done plenty, and Dick is still there for him. it's a pretty core part of Dick's character.
but DC does like to blow up Bruce's relationships and fuck up his character growth. so it is possible they're gearing up for a temporary family conflict or Bruce-solo time. now I have to catch up on comics and see what the hell is going on.
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ladyyatexel · 1 year
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Bits and Pieces of B5
Bits of things that I've been accumulating for years and never posted or finished posting.
On this front, I've been doing most work on being able to put up the rest of 'Portraits,' which is the one where we didn't have the worst possible ending and Na'Toth fills in as a temp for bodyguard duties for G'Kar and she spends 2 or 3 months like 'what the actual Fuck has been going on over here with these two' on Centauri Prime.
So everything exists in that world, really! This is already too much detail for a "do you want to read WIP chunks" post so let's go look at BITS AND PIECES
I hope you enjoy these 🥲
This is part of Portraits:
"Why does G’Kar stay?"
"I do not know." Mollari's answer was unexpectedly swift as he picked through his food for bits he particularly liked.  "I have reminded him that he is free to leave from nearly the moment he arrived, but… Well, he is stubborn.” He poked pieces of food as he listed G’Kar’s traits.  “Persistent.  Nosy. Likes being in the way."
"Suited to you, then."
"I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered." He tilted a small nod in her direction.  "Well done."
She took a sip of her drink.  If Mollari was offering direct answers, Na'Toth was going to take them.  
“Why did you choose G'Kar to be your bodyguard?”
“I didn't. Delenn chose him for me.”
“But he stayed, Mollari.  Long after he --”
“You would have to take that up with him,” Mollari said as he shrugged.
====
This is Probably? Portraits. Like the gentle falling off parts that actually include G'Kar in the flesh and not just in concept:
“Am I interrupting you two bonding?” 
G'Kar stood in the doorway with a small pile of rolls and baked goods loosely wrapped in a bundle he had tucked into his elbow.  He held some kind of jelly-filled confection in the opposite hand. 
Mollari immediately tossed his hands up in frustration.  “G'Kar, that is the third time!  Save some for the guests, will you?” 
“I'm hungry now, and I will need fortitude to deal with them later.  This is insurance.” He grinned and took a comically large bite of his jelly-filled snack.  
Mollari shook his head and set his papers and pen aside.  “Come in, you aren't interrupting.”
Na'Toth scoffed.  
“You should discuss your issue with him, Miss Na'Toth," Mollari said.   "I suspect your objections lie more with him anyway.” 
“What?” G'Kar looked up from his food, and tried to talk with his mouth mostly full.  “Wha' 'ave I done mow?”
Na'Toth wrinkled her nose.  “No wonder Mollari's people continue to hate us.  With you as the only example, even I'd second guess us.”
G'Kar swallowed.   “I'll have you know the highest authority on this world thinks I'm delightful.”
“And yet even I want you to chew your food,” Mollari said.
====
This is pre-Portraits, and is the story of the establishment of all the things Na'Toth finds there. It's mostly called "Sleep" for now but could gain a proper title as it forms. There's a Lot of this one.
“There is...” Mollari inhales deeply and then drops onto the bed with a frustrated sigh, legs dangling over the side, pillow still in one hand.  “There is something happening.  There is something wrong.  I used to understand this place, but now I – No.  No,  I used to believe I understood.  But it is very possible I never did.”
“Admitting that is a good start.”
Mollari looks out the large window and into the night sky.  He's just barely lit by whatever satellite orbits this planet, and the artificial light from the display in the ornamental gardens outside the palace.  “I think it may be too late to be starting anything.”
“It is never too late,” G'Kar says gently.  It is funny - considering their violent history with each other - how much 'gentle' is required with Mollari lately. “Perhaps it is too late to save this thing or know that one, but starting now means there is something coming that you may yet know, save, or understand.”
Perhaps contemplating their past violence in his own way, Mollari holds his hands in front of him and regards them as though they are new, as though they are alien.  He laughs softly, bitterly, and then lets his hands drop to his sides.  “You found all this wisdom of yours in prison, did you?”
“I found it inside myself, but I happened to be in prison at the time.”
>>>>>>>>>>
From the same 'Sleep' build up to the situation as it presents itself in Portraits:
“I will be dead before I can trust everyone underneath me to make a sound decision.  Sometimes I don’t think I can trust myself to make them.”
“Then that’s why I’m here.”  
When a few seconds of silence pass, Mollari looks at him.  “Was that it?”
“Was what it?”
“I said something about my own decision making and you didn’t bring up anything at all?” Mollari laughs.  “I thought of at least three ways you could have punished me for that sentence the moment I finished it.”
“I’m feeling charitable. You refused a flower budget today, you’ve earned it.”
Mollari shakes his head and laughs softly.  The sound barely escapes all the layers of fabric he’s been draped in.  He slows his walk as he gazes up at the portraits above them.  “I think you are the only reason I am still sane, G’Kar.”
The sentiment is sweet, even for something not said in the safety of the dark.  As much as G’Kar could make it personal and steer things vulnerable or frightening, he aims instead for the kind of comfort required in daylight.  “I’m flattered, but considering I’m living here of my own free will, we may have reason for concern regarding you using me as a base for mental health.  What if we are both mad and just enabling each other?”
“Mmm.” Mollari pauses at the end of the row of portraits, regarding the last one and the empty space next to it before looking back to G’Kar.  “Well, I can think of worse people to go mad with.”  
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Nearly a year and a half ago now, I was able to watch the John Oliver's New York Stand-Up Show (terribly clunky title, it acronyms into JONYSUS and that's not much better, really annoying thing to have to look up if you happen to be spending ages trying find download links for it) with the use of a VPN and another person's Paramount Plus login, because I gave up on finding the files anywhere. But since then, every couple or months ago I've tried again to find them, because I fucking hate having things restricted to streaming services. Not just for the anti-corporate reasons or whatever (though those are important, I strongly object to the fact that people pay for media but all they get to do is rent temporary access to it that lasts as long as they keep paying and as long as the company decides to keep the media on its platform, and you have to watch it on their shitty video player that makes you turn off your adblocker and stalls all the time and that can't be enough value for money, even though to be fair I don't personally pay for it, just occasionally use the login of a generous friend for stuff I can't find elsewhere), but because I like being able to watch shows in a way that lets me cut out screenshots and clips so I can save and organize those into my own folders.
This week, I was finally able to find a form of the show that lets me do that. And I'm finally able to say: Remember that time when Andy Zaltzman spent years making fun of John Oliver for occasionally saying “gotten" because he was living in the United States, and then Andy got on American TV one time - they mentioned on The Bugle that this was his American TV debut - and immediately said "sports"? It's adorable, he hits the S just a touch too hard like he's trying to remind himself to say it.
(Annoyingly, Tumblr is still being difficult about letting me embed videos, so I'm just using Google Drive links instead.)
There's nothing in that short set that I haven't heard Andy do in other contexts (except, obviously, when he does that line in Britain he says "I prefer sport", not sports), but it is interesting to me to see which bits he picked out for an American showcase. Presumably his favourite bits, and what he thought was most marketable.
I wrote a post recently in which I wondered what material early OOs- era John Oliver might have picked out for a crowd that might not be in the mood for annoyingly clever and/or political material. Because I've heard most of the bits that John was doing then, spread across various contexts in little pieces, and I think he probably had just about enough to string together a relatively accessible and apolitical set for an audience that wanted it. Andy Zaltzman, however, did not. The range is one difference between Zaltzman and Oliver.
I've watched this whole 26-episode show, it's mainly American comics doing jokes about sex and drugs. And Andy decided the best he could possibly do when trying to fit in there was the child labour material. Never ever change, Andy.
This seems like a worthwhile time to issue a reminder that this isn't the first time I've been able to save and post a bit of that show. A very helpful friend (@lastweeksshirttonight) was able to grab this clip for me when I first watch it, which of course now has a treasured spot in my definitely-non-Beautiful-Mind-like Chocolate Milk Gang folder.
I thought of that clip recently when I heard this on the Elis James and John Robins radio show:
, just because I find it funny that Daniel Kitson has a lot of friends who make jokes about how much he looks like a serial killer, especially for a man who does not look all that much like a serial killer. He just has a beard. John Oliver at least would have been talking about Kitson circa 2006, when he had long-ish hair, and Daniel Kitson was probably at peak serial appearance before he cut his hair off. But still, even then, in the mid-00s when they were writing all those articles about how weird it was that this scary-looking serial killer man wrote such beautiful comedy - he was just a guy with a beard and long-ish hair. Come on, does this guy guy look like he'd hurt anyone?
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Anyway, I'd better wrap up; I'm afraid, like a badly managed French restaurant, I'm running out of thyme.
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daedalusdavinci · 1 year
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i dont really know who or how many people check my blog for updates on where im at with my writing and stuff but in honor of starting to come out of the fog im just going to like. level, really quick. writing is a personal affair intricately tied to what were coping with at the time so as i give updates for what i have planned im also going to talk about shit im going through so heres your warning now
you might have seen it in the a/n for brothers return for the whole ten seconds it was there before i backspaced it out of existence but a family member of mine died in october and writing- living, really- has been almost impossible since. its only just now starting to get easier.
we finally spread the ashes a couple weeks ago or so now and it feels. lighter, now. easier to breathe. i have his art hanging in my bedroom and im going to see my cousins again in a week and my foot is broken so i have all new things to focus on, and its. yknow. we move forward.
ive written a couple of things between now and october but looking at them they feel... short, and hollow, and i can tell i wasnt feeling what i was writing even though i convinced myself at the time that it was good enough. theres a very good chance ill try and rewrite brothers return and the second robin (i HATE those titles btw), because i feel like theyre fics that need to happen but its also. SO hard to write about resurrection when youre grieving?? lol??? like. someone in my life died and im never getting him back and now i have to put myself in dicks shoes where he DOES get jason back and its just. thats not easy, man. its suddenly become an almost impossible topic. but im hoping, now, that maybe i can finally reconnect with it and rewrite it in a way im actually satisfied with
snow day i will straight up be dubbing noncanon from now on. i doomed myself the second i wrote son of dent and made it so harvey and bruce have to not be dating the entire fucking time jasons a kid and ive managed to keep to that pretty well so far adn find wiggle room here and there but snow day was really. sldkjfnslkdnfsdf its a plot hole. its a huge plot hole. i wrote it because i wanted to write something that felt good not something that made sense and i SUCCEEDED but man does it not make sense. so im just gonna be striking it from the canon and keeping it up regardless.
moving into future fics, though. i dunno, man. i finally plotted out that detective au ive wanted to write for ages but its gonna be long and im scared to start it.
i did read all of damians preboot comics (or at least, the ones on the list i was given) (id read some before and ive read some n52 ones already so this was just filling in the last of the gaps (mostly his origin story)) and filled in the last of the preboot timeline (post jasons resurrection, idc about anything before that) so i feel prepared to write the next installment of the jdau, whatever that is, but i havent decided exactly what that is. itll probably be al ghul centric, tho. thats all i know tho! thats all i know
but i guess. keep your expectations low. im figuring things out. might reopen prompt requests soon tho, and im trying my absolute best
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ok truthfully i think 90s dc WAS awesome but theyre focusing on all the wrong things. heres whats actually sick about 90s comics from DC/what i would bring back
so ill start it out with the only relevant one ill mention here and like azrael is cool OK. he is. his current comic could be better though caus they are making a lot of choices. i like the art though like a lot
orion solo... tbh i would be interested to see if walt still has it but also id be VERY interested in brandon easton expanding his version of orion/fourth world lore (w the same artist as SOF preferably caus i loved how they drew orion but i forget who did the art on that)
90s legacy heroes (fate manhunter chronos etc) not just like. azrael running around with a motherbox and tim idk doing whatever. however jared like i dont want him back as the main fate.... like he should hang out with khalid in a dr fate title about khalid
bloodlines and/or blood pack.... i hate to see good things in the world and dc loves putting in little cameos of them getting maimed so let them Do something. also id like to see anima nightblade argus gunfire razorsharp again in general and like loose cannon has technically been around but he never does anything
titans are dysfunctional and co-dependent and have argent there (btw their 90s comic WAS bad i just love argent and korys suit from it)
thrust solo
after 20 30 whatever years i would explore the plotline about cameon chase and the word/his possible involvement in her fathers death and how/why it took so long for j’onn to be hunted down/targeted (since trapper found him like, last year)
something in the same vein as superboy and the ravers... like a spinoff about a major character doing stupid shit. i would honestly not complain with another take on the ravers themselves but in general
just in general i feel like we got a wider range of “weird” titles or set in-universe but not 100% superhero related (ala chain gang war or uh. fuck i had another one for this but i cant recall)
YOUNG HEROES IN LOVE VOL 2 IF DAN AND DEV WERE WILLING
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randomoranges · 1 year
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silly little thing. semi related to that little comic i did a few days ago. apparently, i had more to say on the matter. also, was gonna bumb up the day when this takes place to match the comic, but then it meant having to fix up things in the other xmas fic and i didnt want to. so i guess that makes it funnier bcs now the weather in edmonton is less cold but ét doesnt like the cold regardless so it still works haha.
once upon a time the lyrics in the titles of these xmas fics were more recognisable. now you have to squint to even try and recognise the original song sometimes lamao
Traveling Where the Westerly Winds Can Fly [When You Pine for the Sunshine of a Friendly Gaze]
 December 30th 2022
 “So, here’s a thought,” Étienne says halfway through their conversation.  He fiddles with the phone for a moment to make sure Edward can see him properly and waits to have his boyfriend’s full attention. “I’m thinking of visiting; maybe sometime next week? I mean, it won’t be as long as my last few visits – ten days max, but, it’s better than nothing, right? If that’s not too last minute!” He’s quick to add. He knows Edward has repeated at least a dozen or so times that he can show up unannounced and that the door is always open, but Étienne still prefers to check, even when he gets these impulsive ideas. He’d hate to intrude and hate to be a bother.
 Edward’s smile is kind and this side of pleased and it quells the one fear that seems to have taken up residence inside Étienne’s mind, “Not that I don’t want you to visit or that it doesn’t sound like a lovely idea, but have you seen what the weather is like over here? And you know it can get much colder even if it looks decent.”
 Étienne takes a moment to tap on his phone, most likely on a weather app of sorts, and Edward watches with fascination as Étienne’s face transforms from hopeful smile to disgusted grimace in mere seconds. “Ah. Well. Never mind then. Ew. How is that even a temperature. Ké, well, I guess I’ll see you in the summer then. Love you. Take care. Bye.”
 Before he even gets a chance to say anything, Étienne hangs up the phone and Edward laughs, so very used to Étienne’s antics once more. He knows better and thus, he waits for the clogs in Étienne’s mind to spin and make the obvious few connections they hadn’t yet made. His boyfriend will be calling back in a moment or so, he’s convinced of it. Therefore, he remains lying on his sofa, phone resting on his stomach, as he waits.
 Sure enough, just as Edward considers picking up the phone to kill off some time, it vibrates against his sweater and, sure enough, it’s Étienne. He doesn’t even get a chance to say hello that his boyfriend is off on a semi-tangent of mostly coherent thoughts.
 “Hear me out,” He starts again,? “The weather can go fuck itself, but like, I was at yours last year and the year before? For all of winter?? And I survived, yeah? I mean, it sucked but whatever. But, anyways, I realised, cold weather means extra cuddles, right” He looks at Edward with that little manic gleam to his eyes that he gets when he has these crazy ideas and thought processes and Edward gives him a knowing look.
 “Took you long enough to figure it out. Thought for a moment you were done with being touch starved.”Edward teases, making Étienne roll his eyes at him.
 “Please, as if. And, like, I don’t have to go outside, even if it’s a frozen disaster and – and – and – well, I miss you and I haven’t seen you in ages and well, you’re worth the fucking cold and me freezing my ass off. So there. I’m willing to come over. Might have to fuck off to Mexico afterwards just to thaw out properly, but that’s not a problem.” Étienne says it with all the conviction of the world and nearly wants to dare the weather to get even worse, because nothing will stop Étienne M. Maisonneuve once he’s set himself to something. Edward’s a little bit touched by the declaration, really.
 “Aw, I miss you too, Curly, but you know I’ll have work to do,” It’s not that he’s actively trying to dissuade Étienne from visiting, but he’d hate for his boyfriend to have these grand ideas of canoodling indoors with him for however long he plans to visit, only to be severely disappointed when he’ll have to head out to work.
 “Duh, I know that. I can take care of myself and I can go to Muttart, if ever I need extra heat, like I did last time, aaaaaaand” He says, pointing a finger towards the screen to make his point even more important, “I also have other friends I can see if you’re not around; so there.”
 Edward laughs. He loves that Étienne’s already figured it all out. He loves that Étienne still wants to visit him, despite the cold, despite his schedule and despite anything else. Loves that Étienne’s expanded his horizons when visiting to the point that he has places he likes to visit and friends he can visit with.
 “Well, if that’s alright with you, then I’d love for you to visit.” He’s already looking forward to it, now that the idea is out there. Maybe he’ll even ask for a day off or two. Hell, maybe he’ll fuck off to Mexico with Étienne afterwards as well. They haven’t done that in ages.
 “Yeah? Awesome,” Étienne smiles, a pleased little thing, “Kay, so, I’ll look at flights and I’ll text you the details – and I guess I’ll see you soon!”
 Their gazes meet through the screen and they exchange giddy looks.
 “Looking forward to it,” Edward says with all the sincerity of the world.
 The conversation eventually comes to an end and Edward could get up from his couch to do something, but once more, knowing his boyfriend, he waits and sure enough, within moments of hanging up, his phone lights up again, with a text message.
 “Found a flight. Direct thank fuck. Leaves the second. WS114. Arrives at yours @11h37am. Can’t wait!!!! See you soon xxxxxx :D”
 Edward laughs again, not even surprised, and types out a reply. “Me too. See you soon. <3”
 FIN
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Some thoughts on Friday the 13th 2009
Guess that title will do or so. I was joking with @lovezdarestevez4ever about something and got distracted from not making this. This isn’t really a review. But some points from me on how I feel about the film.
I don’t really hate the 2009 reimagining of the series. And that’s due to a couple of reasons.
1. It’s literally the same as the earlier films. Compared to something like Halloween 2007 or Elm Street 2010, I don’t know. It’s more like the fact it feels like it’s part of the same series despite some things that separate it. It almost feels like a “Legacy” sequel but it’s not. 
It’s technically akin to something like Batman 1989 where the origin isn’t a full focal point. But it strangely leads into something. Weird comparison, it’s more like, “Let’s kind of skip the origin and just show it really quick” kind of shit.
2. The idea to use elements from the first four films is actually a fucking genius idea. Because you’re practically blending in what are basically considered possibly the best films or so and combine into one story without having to make more than one film.
Even though I genuinely wouldn’t mind a legitimate remake of the first film. But I keep thinking general audiences just want to see Jason.
3. The portrayal of Jason is still my favorite of all the actors. Even though I like them all. But Derek Mears is the kind of Jason I love. And honestly, I see this as a Jason film mainly because of the number of times he shows up. 
4. Trent’s entire character. This may sound strange, but holy crap. Even though he’s not a favorite of mine. But he’s such a cartoonish douchebag that it downright amuses me with his fucking dialogue being so insane. That you’re in shock with how fucking douchey he is because Travis Van Winkle plays him so well. He’s strangely meme material.
WeWatchedAMovie’s review of the film where they talk about Trent, they explain it perfectly in the most humorous way. And there’s a scene and from that review, I hear that Michael Bay himself walked out halfway through the movie because there was...too many tities. I question this, like, did he actually say that somewhere?
5. I will admit, I actually like the score from Steve Jablonsky. Even if I still prefer Harry Manfredini’s scores.
-
Now on to the more negative stuff that...brings the film down.
1. The fact it’s the same as the earlier films...it’s kind of nothing special. Yet it’s special in a way where I don’t feel bothered by it like Halloween 2007 or Elm Street 2010. But the fact it’s kind of...somewhat nothing special brings it down. And this goes into the next thing I want to talk about.
2. The idea to use elements from the first four films is still genius. But the way the writers did it just wasn’t for me. The best way I could describe the film is how my good buddy @lovezdarestevez4ever​ said in her review of the film.
The film is practically a “CliffNotes” version of Friday the 13th from writers who watched the older films without paying attention to why certain elements worked. And honestly, considering I have a little problem with the writers...I agree. This is her review right here. https://at.tumblr.com/lovezdarestevez4ever/i-watched-friday-the-13th-2009-and-it-was/opxnm29hwwis
Because to me, the elements don’t blend naturally. Or they don’t use these elements in a more meaningful way. You know how like in comic book films they take elements from different stories and try to blend them in the best story possible to adapt? It’s a weird comparison. It’s just I think if Filmento ever did a video on Friday the 13th 2009, and I have thought about this before. He would point out stuff that feels like it wasn’t thought more about or whatever.
I again, think blending in those elements is a cool idea because in a strange way. I could see the first three films as a 277-minute-long film. I actually used my computer’s calculator to look that shit up. Yet this likely counts the beginning and end credits for all three films.
The point being is that considering this was directed by the guy who directed the 2003 Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake. I feel like they could’ve done more with those elements and did something new with them or build upon them. I strangely wished that the write for that remake came back for this instead of the writers from Freddy vs Jason. But that depends on what Scott Kosar would’ve done, or maybe another writer.
I do appreciate the decision to go back to the “Grittier” route of the earlier FT13th films. That was something needed after the last few films.
3. And the characters, and listen, I get a lot of FT13th characters aren’t much to write home about. But I agree with my friend that they are more like...parodies in a sense. Where in the originals, the characters seem more casual despite a lot being service level. And while I think Clay is one of the better protagonists of the series, the other characters are hit and miss. Despite a lot of them get a lot of brutal kills as usual.
There’s also the fact the storyline with Jason and Whitney couldn’t been dealt with so much better. Because that is something I REALLY like, but it’s not built upon more or something.
I should just finish the post. The 2009 reboot is basically a modernized version of part 3, but without the 3D. And you get elements from parts 1, 2, and 4. It seems weird that I use part 3 as an example. Mainly because part 3 feels like the most “Random” or “Disconnected” because NO ONE besides Chris knows of Jason in that film. And they never say his name.
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zorilleerrant · 2 months
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The trouble with getting people to read comics canon, instead of fanworks, is that, well. If someone only reads fanfic, then, yeah, sure, a lot of comics fans are going to have a low opinion of them, and maybe occasionally harass them or leave negative comments on whatever they create, but for the most part, it's easy to ignore those people. Someone saying, "you must read this," "you're a bad person for not reading that," "you shouldn't be allowed to exercise your creative impulses until you meet this arbitrary threshold," like that's obviously patently ridiculous.
But once you start reading comics, those same people start getting personal. They'll start telling you to die over liking or disliking the wrong thing, calling you slurs over interpreting something differently than they did. Quizzing you on the most minute details of something you never claimed to have read. Their comments will go from short aggressive statements to long diatribes nitpicking every single thing you did wrong, and they'll think they're helping when they do this. They'll sound, somehow, even more condescending when they say all of these things.
And it's not just the gatekeepers, either. There's a sense of community in fandom, but it's the kind where the different cliques sit at different tables, and the "I only like fanon" table is pretty warm and welcoming, and not too concerned with how anyone spends their time. The more you get into canon, even before you hit the people who read (and hate) every single comic, you start reaching tables where most of what people say is "you're a bad person for not including this character" and "you're a bad person for not having an in depth understanding of that character when you do write them." This interpretation of a character or plot or world is right, that one is wrong. These are the types of fics you can write, and those ones are bad. You're stupid if you want to examine xyz.
When fandom is fandom (and not a contest), most people are cool with someone knowing or not knowing a fic. If someone hasn't heard of something popular, people get excited to share it. When someone knows something really obscure, people get excited to hear about it. And, generally, if you like something other people don't, then kink tomato. And if you don't like something they do? Ah, don't like, don't read, room for everyone with every kind of taste.
But when you get into the canon, there's all kinds of unwritten rules. No one accepts some particular story as canon, and there's an established explanation for that other thing so you're not allowed to wonder about it. Here's a bunch of contradictory plot points, but these are the right ones. This character is important, and you must care about them. This other one isn't, so you can't. This is how this character is, it isn't how they were before, but it is now, and that's more important. If you're not up to date, fuck you.
And even when people aren't trying to tell you what to think and how to feel and which things you have to acknowledge, there's still the loneliness of consensus pervading everything. If you love some extremely popular arc of some extremely popular title, great. Maybe you feel vindicated that your favorite story won some awards. But then there's something else that won awards, got huge critical acclaim, has tons of fans. And you thought it was mediocre, or even terrible. Do people go, okay, to each their own, and let up? No, they snidely explain why you're wrong, actually, and then pressure you into reading more of the same style of content.
In fandom, if you dislike a particular author, you just find a new one. Even for the same character, it's usually pretty easy to find an author with style, content, and tone you like, that you think is good, or even great. For really minor characters it can be an issue, but for major characters, or tropes, or settings, or whatever, there's choices. If you want to read ongoings there's a single person writing the character you like, regardless of how much you enjoy their writing. A single artist no matter how much you want to look at that art. And, worse, it's one person writing half of comics at any given time, so it's not like you can just turn to a different character, either. You just have to put up with him until he gets usurped.
In fandom, when you don't like some super popular work, people nod and move on. They don't care that you didn't read that fic, or you don't follow that other artist, or you don't agree with some headcanon that went viral. Once you start reading comics, you can't just skip the ones you don't like, because people will start going wait, you read comics but you didn't read that one? Suddenly you're expected to know everything that ever happened to any character in any comic, or get people leaving you threatening notes.
Because it's not just "read any comic ever," it's "read one comic now, it's easy." And then it's, "I only expect you to know the basics, the really famous stories." And then it's, "I don't see why you can't read through the main canon. No one's asking you to read all the crossovers." And then it's, "I just think if you write a character you should be familiar with them. Why haven't you read all of their appearances? Just main series, nothing drastic." And then it's, "why don't you know this very famous AU? Why don't you know this popular crossover? Why don't you know this retelling, this reimagining, this possible future?" Very quickly, "just read one comic" turns into "read every single comic I've read and none of the ones I haven't, or I'll leave you nasty messages." Plus, you know, you better agree with what each comic meant to each individual person who interacts that way.
Is it any wonder people just want to stay away from all that?
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Fanfiction Author Q&A
This questionnaire is from wing-ed-thing.
Why do you write fanfic? I write fic because the authors are WrongTM. Lol, no, but actually. I write because I want to continue the story, or there’s a part of the story I think could be expanded upon or reimagined and I have an idea for it. 
What is your most overrated fanfic? I don’t think I really have an overrated fic per say, but if I had to choose it would probably be (non-Loki) Te Veo or (Loki) These, Our Bodies, Possessed By Light, just because it’s the first fic I wrote since coming back to AO3 so I don’t think it really deserves the hype given how much I’ve grown and improved since writing it. 
What is your most underrated fanfic? Underrated is either Like the Dawn or Phantom Limb. Like the Dawn is one of my personal favorites, and Phantom Limb more explicitly links Where Mischief Lies with the MCU in a way that was personally satisfying to me. 
What is your most overrated headcanon? I don’t know what this means? Something I consider to be overrated? I’m gonna go with a headcanon many people in the fandom seem to agree with maybe. Definitely that Loki didn’t die on the Ark when Thanos supposedly killed him. It’s overrated because we’ve never seen him die and the members of the Asgardian royal family we’ve seen die have vanished to Valhalla in golden sparks, which Loki didn’t do. So it seems pretty textbook that he wouldn’t be dead, whatever a stupid power-hungry titan said about it. 
What is your most underrated set of headcanons? As much as I hate it, it’s definitely the headcanon that Mobius is a Loki. (See my post about this for more details.)
What detail did you put in a work that you wanted people to notice? It’s the entirety of Bring You Safely Home to Me honestly, but it’s my lowest-performing Frostiron fic in the series so I’m counting it. It’s a retelling of a Norse myth of where Loki is just before the events of Ragnarok in the Norse mythological cycle. 
What thing(s) in canon do you have VERY STRONG OPINIONS ON? In the MCU, definitely how they’ve chosen to represent Loki’s genderfluidity (poorly). In the comics, how well subsequent authors have honored the character development Al Ewing has afforded Loki (not well for most runs since 2013).
What thing(s) in canon do you prefer glossing over in your work? We don’t talk about that Kiss, unless it was a distraction, and comics-wise we really don’t talk about Vote Loki. Loki is a thinly-veiled stand-in for an American presidential candidate who very unfortunately won an election seven years ago, and acts like him, and I hate it. I hate it with every fiber of my being. I hate that he showed up in the tv show, even as a bad guy cameo that got his hand bit off. I hate that I have to see merch for him all over the fucking place. If we never acknowledged his existence again it would be too soon.
What controversial fandom takes do you have, if any? Probably the most controversial are that I ship Thorki and I don’t ship Loki with who he kisses in episode six. Like I ship incest but not selfcest? I don’t know, just how it goes I guess. 
What is your writing schedule like? I don’t have a schedule. I get an idea, I think about it, and then go on a day or two or three day writing binge until it’s done, edit it as soon as I’m done, and post it. And then wait for inspiration to strike again. Rinse and repeat. 
What fanfic took the most research? Honestly probably Nothing Matters at the End of the World. I spent an obnoxiously long time reading quotes from the series, trying to find relevant phrases to serve as chapter titles. I read a lot of MCU wiki pages, and spent an uncomfortable amount of time reading about dinosaurs and their extinction event.
What fanfic of yours is your favorite? Like the Dawn. (Non-Loki favorite is The Courage of Stars, my most recent Good Omens fic.)
Do you read your own fanfic? Yes, more often than is probably reasonable. 
What character deserved more screen time? Like canonically? In Loki-featured comics, Cloud and Verity. In the show, Croki. 
What secondary character would you make the main character of the series? I’m gonna answer this in terms of my frostiron series, actually (Nights on the Roof). I like Idunn and Clint’s characters in the series, maybe not as the main characters, but maybe a part from their perspective could be fun. 
What character have you written the most for? Loki. That’s why I’m doing this on my Loki blog. After Loki, Tony. 
What character(s) would you never write for? Why? President Loki. Fuck that bitch. I’ve already explained why I hate him. He’s a terrible person and he makes no sense for any characterization of the character whatsoever.
What is your favorite fanfic trope? Least favorite? Favorite is enemies to lovers and hurt/comfort. Least favorites are hurt/no comfort, major character death, and Harry Potter AUs. Even when I was a fan, I wasn’t up for those. 
Where did you start reading fanfic? Where did you start writing? The N. My childhood best friend was writing a Harry Potter fanfic when we were 13 and posting it on there. I started writing it (online) on Cartoon Doll Emporium (I think) a year later. If not, then I started posting it on AO3 in college, but I’ve been handwriting it since middle school. 
Favorite fanfic platform? AO3 hands down. I don’t use anything else. 
How old is your blog? This one? Like a week and a half. How long have I been on tumblr (no, I’m not telling you my other account)? Like 13 or 14 years. 
When did you write your first fanfic? What was it about? Do you look back and still like it? First fanfic in general was an unfinished Chronicles of Narnia fic I started when I was 13 that I didn’t post anywhere because The N didn’t allow you to post anything until you were 14, and I was a goody-two-shoes who refused to lie about my age. I don’t remember it and I don’t think I still have it, but I probably wouldn’t still like it. First Loki fic specifically was History Books Forgot About Us in 2017. It’s the first version of These, Our Bodies, but it’s from Thor’s point of view. I still like it, and there are some good parts I had to leave out for the rewrite that got published since it changed perspectives, but ultimately the best version of the story is the one that got posted on AO3. 
What is your favorite fandom to write for? Marvel, definitely. Within that, probably the Avengers, because I think Tony and Loki have a really interesting dynamic that lends itself to a lot of possible storylines with many options for side characters. 
What niche character/fandom/trope is your guilty pleasure? I don’t really believe in guilty pleasures, but probably the most “problematic” pairing I write about is thorki. I have written (unpublished) fanfic of fanfic for this pairing. If you like thorki and genderfluid Loki, the To Know You Anywhere series by triedunture is heart wrenching and perfect. 
For reader insert writers, who do you imagine when you write your reader inserts (OC, yourself, canon character, etc.)? I neither write these nor read these. 
What compelled you to your go-to characters? Really? Loki is genderfluid, bi/pan, a fascinating anti-hero, and between Tom Hiddleston in the MCU and Al Ewing’s writing in the comics I’ve come to really latch onto Loki. He’s interesting and I like exploring him in different contexts, with different people.
OC writers, when did you first come up with the concept for your OC? I don’t write these either. 
What character(s) do you think you most resemble? Probably Verity. She kind of just goes through her life with this strange best friend who she cares about but is kind of doing his own thing that he occasionally brings to her doorstep. She doesn’t put up with any of his shit but is loyal and kind to him. She’s ace (I don’t make the rules, Al Ewing absolutely made her ace), so she wants nothing to do with Loki romantically. She’s about the only woman Loki isn’t related to who treats him decently, but she’s ace so she’s never gonna be in a romantic relationship with him.
AO3: irishavalon
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xpeachesncream · 3 years
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how many drinks? | one shot (jjk)
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summary: the question is - how many drinks would it take for you to sleep with your bestfriend?
pairing: jjk x reader
genre: (18+) college au, dance group au, bestfriends/bestfriends with some benefits au | fluff, smut, sprinkle of angst
words: ~12.2k
warnings: cussing, mature language/implied sexual content, kind of crack-y, dancer!jk to fulfill my needs, unprotected sex, sprinkle of dirty talk, fingering, sprinkle of a handjob, slight biting, nails digging into skin, oc almost gets taken advantage of/forced into doing things she doesn’t wanna do, rough handling, song kang is in this too because i’m also a hooch for him but he’s an ass here, alcohol consumption, intoxication, mentions of blunts/smoking, house parties, cuddling, kissing/makeout sessions, straddling, breast/nipple play, hickeys, fucking on the edge of the bed, multiple orgasms, fingering, licking/neck kisses, oral (f. receiving)
note: one shot title is taken from miguel's song ‘how many drinks’ + a couple of things--
both hoseok and jimin’s piece mentioned below are inspired by real-life pieces my old dance mentor has choreographed and taught. this is the inspiration behind hoseok’s couple piece; this is the inspiration for jimin’s piece
i’m a hooch for all three of them in this video
enjoy imagining koo and oc dancing part of their couples piece like this 🥺
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"Y/N." You picked up Jungkook's call as you sat at your desk in your dorm room. You had been finishing up your bio homework until the interruption came blaring through on your headphones.
"Yes?"
"Can I nap in your room?"
"The fuck I look like? A hotel?" You snorted.
"Yeah, a 5 star at that with how good you take care of me." He tries to butter you up, causing you to roll your eyes.
"You're lucky I like you."
"Yesssssssss!" You hear him faintly exclaim on the other line. "Be there in a sec."
"You know my doors are always unlocked." Which, it was true. So many of your friends had decided to live off campus that you and your other bestfriend [and beloved suitemate] were probably the only few left on campus. And that meant people were constantly in your room, hanging out or using both of your rooms, [with permission] or the couches in the shared living room space of your suite as a place to nap. College, amirite? Why the fuck would you lose your parking spot to go back to your apartment when you have friends who lived right on campus? You weren't just good for smuggling free food from the cafeteria to your broke ass, struggling off-campus friends.
Sooner or later, you're greeted by a fluffy, black-haired Jungkook, looking like his shit must have air-dried with how wavy and voluminous it was. He swings your door open so aggressively that you jump a bit in your seat, swinging off your headphones like you weren't even expecting him. You watch as he flings himself onto your neatly made bed like he hasn't felt a bed in years.
"Ugh, yes." He moans as he belly flops onto your bed and stays in that position.
"When's your next class, you little baby?"
"In like an hour or so, I don't know." He says sleepily. "Wake me up, please?"
"Sure." You realize it's Wednesday, and he definitely has Ecology lab later at 3:00PM. You figured you'd wake him up by 2:30 just to give him enough time to groggily walk his ass back over to the science building.
You and Jungkook weren't really close before college. It was moreso that you knew of each other since high school because of mutual friends. You'd see him at parties and he'd see you, but it was never more than the casual hi and bye and small talk. Maybe the occasional comments on facebook pages and the likes on pictures on instagram. But foreel, other than that, that's as real as your friendship got for awhile. You didn't mind it though, you were good with your set of friends and he was good with his. A lot of your friends attended the same university as you two and then your groups intertwined even more. 
But, it wasn't until the past couple of months or so where you both unexpectedly got really close - simply just by talking more and being around each other more. You both had similar interests and Jungkook wasn't the most vocal in his group, but with you, he seemed to talk endlessly. He loved comics and he loved raving to you about Marvel and DC superheroes. He loved to draw, and he'd draw you things every now and then - his most recent being you as a scientist superhero saving the world from overgrown malaria-infected mosquito monsters. It was the cutest thing you had ever seen, and you tacked it against your cork board near your desk. Then, small things like that turned to bringing you food or boba, being stuck at the hip where he'd only go to a certain place on campus if you were there; texting each other inside jokes and funny ass tweets all day turned to facetime sleepover calls and then late hangouts eventually turned to actual sleepovers in your bed, where he'd drape his arm around while you both slept but it never escalated into anything more than that in bed. Although he did fucking hate your medium-sized Olaf plushie that took shelter on your bed - he'd always hike it across the room and talk about how annoying he is and how he's always taking his spot. You never understood it, really.
And then soon, it turned to small displays of affection behind closed doors, where Jungkook would hold you close. Hold your hand if you two were in the room watching a show, or movie. Small kisses exchanged. Big kisses exchanged, making out sessions. But, that was literally it. Nothing else. No sex. No pressure. Lots of unspoken feelings, obviously, but you weren't gonna be the one to bring that up. Because you were comfortable, and if anything, you didn't wanna ruin what you guys already had going.
Like, is this a friends with benefits thing? Maybe? Maybe not? It was hard to label it because it's not like you both determined so, it kind of just fell together that way. And there was really no pressure to fuck every single time you got affectionate. It was cute, sweet. And no one really knew it was like that behind doors - possibly your suitemate Kass and her boyfriend, Jimin, but that's only because you shared the dorm suite with her. Jimin was also one of Jungkook's roommates and his really good friend, so whenever they had slept over on the same night, it was pure and utter chaos. But honestly, if Kass and Jimin hadn't been around you two much, they most certainly wouldn't have the idea.
Whatever it was, it was a comfortable closeness that you both experienced and appreciated. However, the both of you were afraid of discussing what this really was, afraid it'll ruin the dynamic. The atmosphere. Having to come to terms of what it might, or might not be. Neither of you can fully admit that you like the other. Although, it got hard. People did lightly tease you two because you both always looked for each other and were stuck by the hip out on campus.
Oh, well. Bottom line is that you liked your relationship where it was at, but it doesn't mean you haven't thought about the what if's. Jungkook was insanely attractive, and it's no lie that girls swarmed him left and right on campus, but he didn't give a shit [either he didn't give a shit or he was dumb as hell?]. Okay, rewind — to be fair, he would have a fling or two, flirt once or twice. He'd tell you so and so was cute and that they've hung out or texted, but that's it. He just wasn't necessarily looking for anything cause he too enjoyed where he was at with everything.
It doesn't take long before Sleeping Beauty is snoring face down on your bed, looking like Patrick Star with the way he's sprawled out. But, you continue to do your work until it was time to wake him. You gently shake him, his puppy eyes looking back at you after being face down all nap.
"Class time."
"No." He groans. "Can't I just stay here with you?"
"No, dude. Get to class." You chuckle. "You already skipped last week."
"Yeah, but this is a new week Y/N."
"Jungkook." You almost say in a scolding manner.
"Fiiiiiiine." He whines as he shoots up and hops off from your bed. "Are you going to our party on Friday?"
"I said I'd think about it right?"
"Yeah, like on Monday. It's Wednesday."
"And I'm still thinking about it." You snort, making him pout.
"Just come for a little bit."
"Why? You know parties aren't my thing and you'll be too drunk anyways. I'll end up wanting to go right the fuck back home as soon as I step outside."
"I'd like to be drunk and have you there. It'll be more fun!" He pouts as he holds your hand and swings it back and forth.
"I mean, to be completely honest, I'll probably end up going because of Kass anyways."
"Because of Kass." He rolls his eyes. "Oooookay. Not because of you, Jungkook, no." He says sarcastically, brows furrowed.
"Ew. You're such a fucking whiner. Leave." You laugh, throwing an empty water bottle at him.
"I'm kidding." He chuckles. "Wanna grab dinner with me after practice?"
"Sure. If you pay." He groans
"Fine. I'll see you later." He puckers up his lips to blow you a kiss, which you automatically reject by giving him a look before turning your attention back to your homework. You were hoping he'd offer to go to In-n-Out because you were craving that #2 with animal fries and a neapolitan shake, plus there was a Target in the same plaza that you wanted to drag him to for new pens and clearance sale shopping. And you wouldn't even warn him about it. He would tag along, no question.
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Hoseok stands in front of the mirrors in the studio, pacing back and forth as your dance group learned a couple of 8-counts from this new piece he had been brewing up. Apparently, it was supposed to be a couples piece but he wasn't sure if he was going to keep it that way. He watched to see if this would be better as a group, or if he should stick to his original plans.
Your college dance group was a small group formed by people with pure, genuine interest and love for modern hip hop choreography. Hoseok was the dance lead, with Jimin being the back up lead. The group came together, taught each other pieces, taught workshops for those interested on campus and performed at the various talent shows and productions the school had throughout the year. It was just your group's way of showcasing your talents, something you all purely enjoyed, and it was nice to see the love and support given by the audiences.
"Okay, run that from the top one more time please. We'll take break after, swear." Hoseok chuckles and gives Jimin the cue to start the song back at the starting point. Jungkook makes a funny face at you as he huffs and puffs, trying to catch his breath from the last time you went through the counts.
"Ew." You giggle, slightly pushing him aside. Miguel's How Many Drinks begins to blast through the studio speakers, Jungkook doing his best to sing along and match his tone all while focusing on his steps. Once you're done going through the counts, the music continues to play, Jungkook twirling over to you just to sing—
"Cause I ain't leavin' aloneeee, I feel like I could be honest, babe." He spins to your other side. "We both know that we're grown, that's why I wanna knooooow - how many drinks will it take you to leave with meeeeEEeeeE?"
"You can give me all the drinks in the world and I swear I still wouldn't." You snort, making him frown and click his teeth.
"Too bad that's not really how you act when I ask to sleep over, though." Silence as you stick your tongue out at him. Cause, yeah. You really do tell him to sleep over without hesitation. You loved his company, you can’t lie. "Yeah, fraudulent as hell. I never taught you that." He jokes.
"Shut up, Jungkook—"
"Okay!" Hoseok says, clapping his hands. "This'll be a couple piece. I honestly think it'll work better that way, just like I envisioned it. I'll work with the couple to clean this up before the performance, but to whoever isn't casted for this, Jimin still has a piece to teach the rest of you, so don't feel discouraged!" Hoseok chuckles a bit, giving the rest of the group a small smile. "So with that being said - Y/N, Jungkook, I want you two to do this piece."
"Ouuuuuuuu." Jimin teases you from the sidelines, causing you to put up your middle finger.
"We won’t let you down, cap." Jungkook swings his arm around you.
"I'll teach you the rest of the piece next practice so we can start polishing it up and making it clean before the talent show."
"Sounds good with me." You flatly say, even though 100%, you're pretty excited for many reasons. One, you had been wanting to do a solo or couples piece for awhile, and two, your partner was Jungkook. Your best friend, your ride or die, the dude you've spent so much time with and gave your affection to behind closed doors. It made you giddy just thinking about it, even if you'd blatantly lie to his face later on when he'd tease you. And Jungkook felt the same. You missed the way he subtly bit on his bottom lip when you were named his partner, just so he wouldn't smile too big in front of you.
After practice, you egg him on enough to agree to take you to In-N-Out, without hinting at the plan you had drafted out in your head earlier.  The plan that says you're gonna drag his ass to Target afterwards and he had no choice but to come along.
"Y/N, you liar." He groans. "You said you weren't gonna go to Target." He pouts as you follows behind you anyway.
"Kook, I literally just need to get one thing."
"What's the one thing that you couldn't get on your own time?"
"I don't know, I'll have to find out when we get in there." You giggled, causing him to groan again. "Plus, we're here already. Killing two birds with one stone."
"Ah shit, I suppose I can get some bottles for the party."
"Yeah, make yourself useful Jungkook."
"Yeah, make yourself useful Jungkook, aheh." He mocks your tone and does that really weird and ugly ass laugh that dudes always do when they try to mock girls, however, you ignore it because you've just stepped into Target and bitch, this was Disneyland to you. Heaven. Paradise.
"Hm, what are we drinking on Friday?" He says his text outloud as he follows you around the dollar section where you begin to pick up really unnecessary items that you're probably just gonna store away in or around your desk somewhere.
"Should be holy water because you all need it."
"Mmm, I don't know, I don't think they have that but we can check." He responds ever so seriously, causing you to chuckle.
"How many people are you expecting?"
"Honestly, I don't even know. We said we'd keep it to close friends only. I don't really have any friends, so that's all on them."
"Ah, makes sense as to how the entire class was invited." You fire back sarcastically. "Your upstairs neighbors are really gonna have a blast."
"They're invited too."
"You guys are so dumb." He laughs when you hit him against the chest. After walking a bit, the two of you head towards the alcohol aisle, Jungkook grabbing what his arms will allow him to grab since alcohol is a little cheaper here than other grocery stores. "Isn't there a limit as to how much alcohol you can buy?"
"I don't see anything anywhere." He hauls about 4 big bottles back to the cashiers. "Besides, I'm giving them business compared to Safeway and those other grocery stores."
"Grab the coupon at least, genuis. It could save you some money." You take off the coupons from the three bottles.
He looks down at the coupon attached to the 4th bottle. "Sign up today and get 2% cash back on every bottle you buy." He snorts after reading the coupon outloud. "More like sign up today and get 2% cash back turnt." He looks at you. "This doesn't sound like a coupon, miss. Where's the ‘get 5 dollars off’ bullshit?"
"2% cash back turnt? Really?" You furrow your brows at him and hand the coupons to the cashier. "Here. God, maybe you shouldn't be hosting parties with your roommates."
"Maybe not." He holds his bags, even grabbing onto yours as you both walk out to his car. He turns up the radio, the both of you singing along to the songs coming through. When he pulls up to the lot of Edgehill Village, he parks in someone else's marked spot only because it's technically next to your door and he doesn't anticipate to stay long. But honestly, that never goes as planned. He grabs your bag from the trunk, silently following behind you as you unlock your door to an empty suite - just as you expected. Kass was most likely at Jungkook’s, spending the night with Jimin, and you'd be alone for the night. It didn't matter to you though, the peace and quiet was always nice.
"You sure you're gonna be okay here alone?" You nod.
"Yup. It's kind of nice actually." You lean forward onto your bed since it's raised a little higher than usual with bed risers, and open up your laptop. Jungkook sets your Target bag down and wraps his arms around you from behind, planting a kiss on your cheek and on your jawline.
"You sure you don't want me to sleep over? Cuddles sound nice."
"It sounds like you want to."
"Only if you want me to." He nuzzles his head against your neck, waiting for your response.
"Kook, please." You chuckle. "If you wanna sleepover, then go ahead."
"Yesssss! I do."
"Well you need to find parking, or else the person that owns that parking spot will be highly upset."
"You got it, captain. Pull up a movie!" He says, dashing out of your room to move his car. He's most likely going to come back in another 5 minutes, being that the only free parking at this time of night is probably on the other end in the gym's lot, or somewhere on the streets [if he got lucky].
And so that 5 minutes sure does go by before Jungkook is breathing heavily when he walks into your room, duffle bag swung over his shoulder with a big, dorky ass smile on his face.
"I'm back!"
"I see." You snort, still going through the movies.
"Hey, let's run through what Hobi taught us first."
"Ugh, I'm so tired though."
"Cooooome on, just once." He pulls you by the hand, his body pressed against yours as his his other arm wraps around your waist. "Please." His puppy dog eyes look down at you, causing you to push him away because fucking hell, that shit makes you weak. Makes the pussy throb just a lil, you know? Christ.
"Only if you watch 10 Things I Hate About You."
"Sure, I don't mind." He pulls up the song on your laptop. The both of you face the mirror in front of you, careful not to hit each other since you had such limited space to fully move around. Running through it once was a full blown lie, being that you both are doing it for almost 5-6 times before you're laughing at how out of breath you already are. You're so out of it and winded by the last time around that you accidentally hit Jungkook in the face, causing him to whine and stumble off to the side.
"Oh shit!" You laugh. "I'm so sorry, Kookie!" You run over to cup his face. "Are you okay? You good?"
"Shit, Y/N. You have a heavy hand." He keeps his hand against his cheek.
"I'm sorry." You lean in to plant a kiss on his cheek, but Jungkook being Jungkook, he looks to the side to have his lips meet yours instead. He picks you up in one swift motion, your legs wrapped around his torso as he sits you on your bed, your hands still cupping his face. And honestly, you really wanted him. You've always wanted him since this whole thing started. God, he was attractive to you - every little thing about Jungkook was a fucking weakness, but you weren't gonna let up first. Not tonight. The scar on his cheek, his soft, fluffy hair, his toned body, his muscular ass arms, the way he held onto you when you both slept, the way he kissed you.
Lord, he was truly going to be the death of you.
Before the kiss could get any deeper, you smile into it and back away, keeping your gaze on the small, dazed smile Jungkook has on his face.
"Can we watch now?" You ask, subtly biting onto your bottom lip.
"Yeah, good idea."
"Actually, after all that, I need to shower first."
"Can I join?" His eyes light up.
"Sit your ass down. You can go after." You laugh as you hop off the bed, grabbing your pajamas for a quick shower. You literally take 10 minutes, walking back into your room with wet hair and an oversized shirt and shorts underneath. Although you had been completely comfortable with Jungkook, the both of you have never really seen each other fully naked like that. Whenever he slept over, you were both always fully clothed. You've seen him hop out of the shower and come in shirtless, but that's probably about it. You start to brush your teeth as he rummages through his emergency duffle bag full of shit that he holds in the trunk of his car, grabbing a fresh pair of clothes to change into after his shower. You already know his ass is gonna use your shampoo for everything because he loves the smell of it and always talks about how good your hair smells.
While waiting for him, you slip yourself under your covers and pull the laptop closer to you, scrolling through your phone aimlessly to see what's new on instagram. Which, is absolutely nothing, so you let out a dissatisfied sigh.
"Ready!" He comes in, tossing his towel aside and shutting off the lights to crawl into your bed with you.
"You smell just like me." You chuckle.
"It's great, isn't it?"
"Your hair isn't bothering you?" You run your hand through his incredibly wet hair as he shakes his head.
"No, I'll be good."
"Okay." He wraps his arm around you to pull you onto his body, the movie already off to a start. As the movie goes on, you find yourself getting sleep as both of your bodies sink deeper into the sheets, Jungkook still not letting you go. The laptop rests on his belly, while your head is on his chest, his heartbeat the one thing putting you to sleep pretty quickly. He's comfortable, just as you are. He's warm, you're warm. He's content, you're content. You drift off to sleep while he continues to watch, knowing your bodies will be pressed tightly against each other in the morning.
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"Kook there's so many fucking people here. The cops are gonna come and shut this down quick." Jungkook shrugs.
"Oh well, wasn't my idea." He snorts. "Shot?!" He hands you a shot that you take with ease, feeling like you aren't drunk enough for all this shit and all these people. "Atta girl."
"Yuck, though." You slightly make a sour face as you feel the warmth trickle down your throat and into your stomach.
"Heeeey, whyyyyy do you look so FaMiliaR?" This girl asks Jungkook in a weird, flirty tone, where every other consonant goes up and down. She's obviously really fucking drunk and out of her mind because for one, she definitely goes to the same school as you two, and she has definitely been in class with Jungkook before.
"Oh uh, my name's Justin Bieber. I used to sing from time to time." He says nonchalantly with you furrowing your forehead at him because what kind of response did he just give her?! What did he just tell her? You're so embarrassed that you slowly turn on your heel and walk out of the kitchen as you hear him sing One Less Lonely Girl hella out of tune, with the girl completely smitten over his drunk ass.
"Where's Jungkookie?" Kass asks as she sits on Jimin's lap.
"Over there, pretending to be Justin Bieber apparently."
"Oh, nice. You don't come across that often." Jimin says sarcastically. "Are you staying here tonight?"
"Yeah, stay here tonight, with Kookie." Kass wiggles her eyebrows, her cheek resting on top of Jimin's head. "It's not like that's anything new."
"Um, I'd rather much be back in the dorm."
"That cold, lonely place? When you could be here, in such a pretty apartment with such a pretty boy?" You shake your head at her.
"Unbelievable." You mutter. Suddenly, an incredibly tall man walks into the apartment, reaching about 6'1 and almost hitting the ceiling with his tall ass. You've never seen him before, but he walks in with Hoseok and Namjoon and for whatever reason, you can't peel your eyes off of him. "Woah, who's that?"
"Who's what?" Jungkook finally comes to your side after being Justin Bieber for a good minute or so, his eyes following yours. Who was he and why were you looking at him so intensely?
"That's Kang! You've never met him?" Jimin says, doing a slight nod to greet him as he passes by. Kang and his fine self looks up at you, a small smirk creeping up at the corner of his lips as he continues through to the kitchen behind Hoseok and Namjoon. "He's a transfer and on the basketball team."
"He's fiiiiine." You and Kass swoon over him a bit, Jungkook giving you a look.
"He's alriiiight. I've seen better."
"Shut up, no one asked you." You lightly punch him on the side, making him lightly groan while Jimin and Kass laugh. The rest of the party, you suddenly have a goal to find out more about Kang and see what he's about because you and Jungkook weren't official. You both didn't really know what this was, but one thing you knew for sure was that it wasn't anything exclusive. You wouldn't bring it up, so wouldn't Jungkook - so was this really something all that meaningful?
Whatever, you didn't wanna keep going in circles about it.
Jungkook fucking hates it though, and he's honestly really jealous that you're suddenly trying to be all cute and woo the new, tall, handsome [but he's not really that fucking handsome to Jungkook for christ's sake] basketball player. Jungkook almost wants to mock his every move and how suavé he is, almost looking like a try hard with the way he's leaning against the wall and talking to you.
Wait— he's talking to you?! You were literally right next to him 2 seconds ago.
"What the fuck?" He squints, trying to make sure he's actually looking at you.
"You're so full of shit." Jimin laughs.
"What are you talking about?"
"Why don't you just admit that you like her and stop being childish about it?"
"I don't like her. She's just my bestfriend."
"Um, okay?" Jimin snorts. "When you sleep at her place every chance you get and vice versa? When she has a ton of your shirts and hoodies in her own fucking closet? When you always get so affectionate with her in the dorm? Sure, you don't like her."
"How do you know that?"
"I just do, you've done it in front of me and Kass before but you both tried playing it off. I don't understand you two."
"Well, I don't like her. She obviously doesn't either with the way she's trying to be all up on him." Jungkook glares at you, his teeth biting the rim of the cup harshly as he brings it to his lips to take a sip.
"Whatever, I'm just saying dude. Probably better to be straight up about it than not."
"Kaaaaaaay." Jungkook responds sarcastically, trying to play off how butthurt he was right now. Cause yeah, he did fucking like you. He was just scared to admit it though because of reasons like this - the fact that you possibly didn't like him back killed him. The fact that you could possibly be using him to feel wanted, needed. It made his stomach turn.
He just really liked you, and god, did he want to be the one in your bed tonight. Whether or not that ended up in sex, whatever. He just wanted to be the one to touch you, be on you.
Meanwhile, Kang was attractive as hell and ouwee, were you feeling him tonight. You were, you really were - except, you could literally feel the holes Jungkook was burning through you from across the room. You'd occasionally glance over due to how distracting it was, Jungkook literally have no shame with eyeing you, almost glaring at you, from across the apartment.
"Is it too forward if I ask for your number already?" Kang licks his lips, his teeth lightly piercing his bottom lip as he looks down at you.
"No." You smirk at him, taking his phone to put your number in.
"We should kick it soon. I'd love to hang out with you and get to know you better."
"Yeah, just let me know when." You blush, until you're suddenly pulled out of your daze by a loud 'ahem,' the loudest throat-clearing you have ever heard in your life. You turn to see Jungkook making his way back over to the shots, knowing damn well he's calling you over. "See you around?" Kang winks before he tips his cup to you and gives you a single nod.
"Sure thing, cutiepie." You bite onto your bottom lip, making your way over to Jungkook at the shot station, instantly pinching his arm.
"What the fuck?"
"Nobody was calling you over." Jungkook smirks.
"Shut the fuck up, yes you were. I know that was you clearing your throat like that."
"I'm sorry, does it bother you?" He blinks cutely, tilting his head to the side. "Besides, why come over here when you're too busy with your man?"
"Are you jealous?"
"Why in the hell would I be jealous, Y/N? Do you." The words sting you, even though part of you still wants to believe that Jungkook may actually like you. All you can do is sigh and brush it off, placing your cup down in front of him as he pours himself another shot. "You sure?"
"Just give me the damn shot." You say, making it your 7th.
And the 7th turns into 8, 8 turns into 9, 9 turns into 10. And at 10, you're pretty fucking drunk even as the party is starting to die down by the time it's close to 2am. All 10 were a good combination of shots and mixed drinks.
10 drinks.
10 drinks is what it took for you to lay in Jungkook's bed at the end of the night, hands tangled in his fluffy hair as your makeout session intensifies by the minute - all due to this sexual tension, frustration, whatever the hell it was brewing between you two after all this time. The both of you are drunk as hell, and it's pretty evident with the way you can still taste the alcohol on his tongue, both sloppily touching up on each other, kisses getting wetter, clothes coming off like there's no tomorrow.
"Wait, are you sure?" Jungkook says, about to unhook your bra.
"Jungkook, god, just fuck me." You plead drunkily, the room spinning around you. He continues to unhook your bra, tossing it across the room where your other clothes lay, peppering kisses along your neck before licking up a stripe to meet your lips again. He hooks his fingers across the band of your panties, tugging them down and letting them get lost within his sheets. You take this as leverage to tug his boxer briefs down, already stroking his hardened member the moment you come into contact with it. The sad thing is that you both are so fucking drunk, you can't even appreciate the fact that you both are naked in front of each other for the first time ever.
You can't even come to terms with the fact that you both are about to fuck each other and cross that boundary completely.
But, hell, what do you care? You were drunk. You got a cute guy's number. You're getting dick at the end of the night.
"Oh shit, Y/N." He moans into your mouth as he feels you stroking him. "Need to feel you." He quickly runs his finger down your fold, slipping in two digits to pump them in and out, quickly prepping you for his dick.
"Hnnng--Kook." You bite onto your bottom lip as your eyes shut close momentarily, your head digging deeper into the pillow the more he tries to stretch you out. "Want you inside of me."
"I got you." He says. You almost whine at the loss of contact until you feel his tip poking at your entrance. He slowly continues to slip himself inside of you, Kook letting out a small groan while your mouth was left open, a soundless moan releasing before you hiss and take in all of him. He fills you up so well, so completely. He was so big that you felt full, bloated, with him being inside of you the way he was.
"Ohhhhhgod." You whimper as he starts to steady his pace, the lewd noises of his cock slipping in and out of your wet pussy filling his room - god forbid if Jimin or their other roommate Yoongi heard this right now. It would be nothing short of pornographic.
"You're so wet. Is that all for me?" He says, causing your eyes to roll to the back of your head as he begins to aggressively thrust into you.
"Y-yes." You whine.
"Say it again."
"All for you, Kook."
"I fucking thought so." He drunkily responds as one hand grips onto your hips tightly, the other in your hair as he digs his head back into the crook of your neck, his tongue messily licking near your jaw before he nibbles onto your earlobe.
"Hmmmmgggh, Jungkook. Fuck." You moan as you start to work your hips upward into his, your clit rubbing against his pelvis, causing the pleasure to pool quickly within the pit of your stomach. It causes goosebumps to pierce through the surface of your skin, your hands gripping tighter on his hair. "You're-you're gonna make me cum. Faster." You plead. He does just so, hammering into you, the sound of his hips slamming into yours bouncing off of the walls.
"Ahhh—Y/N." He groans.
"Just like that, just like that, just like that!" You repeat, your clit feeling incredibly stimulated by the way it rubs against his skin while he fucks into you. "Oh shit! Jungkook!" You moan loudly, biting his shoulder as you feel yourself trembling hard in his grip, your orgasm taking over your entire body.
"Shit, shit, shit—Y/N, Shiiiit." He says into your neck, followed by more curses and groans as you feel him coat your walls warmly. He stays inside of you until the both of you come back down to normalcy, your breathing becoming more regulated. He slowly slips himself out, plopping next to you on the bed, but doesn't welcome you into his arms.
The night goes on, the both of you sleeping on your own sides of Jungkook's bed, not really saying a word to each other. Because the both of you, although still pretty drunk, are more aware by the time it's over and it's become so clear how fucked up this got.
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You were hurt. Completely hurt. Because you didn't expect Jungkook to just fucking ghost you after that night. You wanted to talk about it, maybe come to the conclusion that you two should just distance yourselves from each other to figure this out, even if it would hurt you a lot to do so.
No.
That morning, Jimin and Kass had to take you back to campus because Jungkook had darted out of his room, nowhere to be seen until later that night. The next week or so, there were no texts, no calls. No visiting your dorm, no asking to sleepover.
Nothing.
Just radio silence, white noise, if you will.
The one thing he could come up with was a stupid response to your text when you finally caved and asked what you did wrong mid-week.
Something along the lines of 'what do you want me to say, Y/N? do you want me to force myself to feel a certain way?'
Followed by a 'i'm sorry, fuck. that came out really wrong' even though you thought it came out perfectly fine. You understood loud and clear.
Even though this wasn't really an exclusive thing, or even a 'thing' if we wanna be straight up, you still couldn't help but feel like Jungkook had just dumped your ass with no explanation and you were still waiting for that explanation to come, whether it would or not. And because of this, you started to see Kang, hangout with him more often. He even took you out on a dinner date and you really enjoyed his company. He seemed genuine, caring, supportive - even if a lot of the basketball boys were the complete opposite. He was different, you liked to think.
And so you stand in front of the mirrors in the dance studio, you and Jungkook awkwardly running through the piece with Hoseok watching, confused as to why all of a sudden the two of you have this weird tension going on. It hasn't entirely ruined the couple piece, but it hasn't brought it together, either. The both of you could barely look at each other, barely get into the movements, the emotions behind the motions. Hoseok had to correct a few things, his 'pah pah pah's' echoing in the room constantly with how many times you and Jungkook had to be set straight for your sloppy steps today.
"Okay, I'm not saying it's bad, cause it's not. But can you both please act like you at least like each other or something? What's going on with you two? You aren't normally like this." Hoseok says, coming down to a crouch in front of the mirrors.
"Nothing, we'll do better. Don't worry." You brush off the entire question with your quick response. Jungkook looks at you, his hands on his hips, lightly frowning at how much you're distancing yourself even though he knows its entirely his fault for running from his feelings and not being honest with you.
"Okay, let's do it from the top." The music starts, you getting into the piece without making any eye contact with Jungkook. Even the steps that cause you to be close and near Jungkook, you look anywhere but his eyes, and your touch is light, trying your hardest not to let any feelings pass through the motion. Hoseok is a little more pleased this time around, but it still doesn't sit right with him, so he lets you two take a break while he heads to the other studio to check on Jimin and the rest of the group.
"Hey. Are you okay?"
"Jungkook, you don't get to ask me that." He sighs and runs his hand through his hair, not sure if he should continue on or not.
"Y/N—"
"Save it, and let's just get this over with, okay? I don't wanna be here just as much as you." Your words cut him deep because dear, you have gotten him completely misunderstood and yet, he still can't speak. He still can't talk about his feelings. He still can't save this even though he wants to, even though he loathes seeing you the way you are with Kang.
"I never said—"
"Kay, ready? Let's run this full out and make it a good one so we can call it for today." Hoseok says, clapping his hands to hype you two up somehow. The music starts and you're finally able to get into the steps. The emotions. And god, it's only because you're so hurt by your own bestfriend. You're hurt that he fucked you so good, and then dipped. You're hurt that he couldn't even face you the day after. You're hurt that after all this time, he made it seem like you still didn't matter enough - at least enough for an explanation, for some kind of reasoning, conversation, behind what just went down between the both of you. Between what has been going down between the both of you.
Besides the stupid ass responses he gave you through text.
You get so into your feelings that you don't even realize you're tearing up by the time the piece is over, and Jungkook catches it even though you face away from him as soon as the music cuts out.
"Nice, okay! That was so much better! Let's pick it up next session, yeah? We'll keep cleaning it up. Thanks guys!" Hoseok says. You immediately head towards the wall, grabbing your things to avoid any confrontation from Jungkook, but he grabs your arm as soon as you slip through the door.
"Y/N, wait. Stop."
"Let me go." You yank your arm from his grip.
"Why are you crying?" He stops in front of you, his hands placed on your arms to prevent you from moving any further.
"I'm not." You blatantly lie while you aggressively wipe away the stragglers coming down.
"Really? Just gonna lie like that?"
"Why do you care? You haven't said shit to me all week." You snap back, and Jungkook is taken aback from the tone in your voice. You remove his hands from your arms, and take one last look at him before shaking your head and walking off.
Next mistake? He doesn't come after you.
This was a waste of fucking time. If he truly cared about you, he wouldn't let you hurt like this.
You let out a deep sigh before clutching onto your things and walking back to your dorm. The walk from the gym/fitness center was damn near on the other end of campus compared to your dorm. It would be a good 10 minute walk if you really took your time. A good 10 minutes to ponder on your thoughts.
Yes, you liked Jungkook. You really liked him. Having sex with him solidified those feelings even more. How could you not have feelings for your bestfriend after all the moments you've shared? Was it your fault for assuming that? Was it your fault for walking through that door when it seemed to be completely open for you?
"Sup." Kang comes out of nowhere, pulling you out of your thoughts. He swings his arm around your shoulder, gently pulling you closer to his body.  "Just got out of practice?"
"Sure did." You give him a toothless smile. Yes, he was attractive as hell. He always will be. But, even with the time you spent together, the date he took you on, he still couldn't make you feel the way Jungkook has been able to make you feel.
"How was it?"
"Um, it was alright. Nothing new really, just cleaning up the piece before the show. You're going right?"
"Why wouldn't I?" He smiles down at you. "Listen, I don't know if you've heard, but there's another party tonight."
"A party? It's Wednesday." You snort.
"Yeah, I mean, one of the boys on the Lacrosse team is throwing it at his family house because his parents will be gone. Wanna come? I'll pick you up. We don't have to stay for long." You looked at your watch.
"What time is it at?"
"Like 9ish?" Enough time for you to shower and get a quick dinner in your belly. Why the hell not? You were caught up for the week. You didn't have any pressing assignments that were due asap.
"Sure. I'll come."
"Cool. See you later then?" He says, about to part ways with you. You simply give him a nod before walking deeper into Edgehill village. You hoped you wouldn't regret this tonight, and you really hoped he meant it when he said you two didn't have to stay for long. You drag yourself into your room, seeing Kass' door wide open, revealing her packing up her duffle bag.
"Hey, where are you headed during the middle of the week?"
"My two classes got cancelled for tomorrow so me and Jiminie are heading out for a mini getaway for our anniversary." You cross your arms and smile. "He's just gonna catch up on shit when we get back I guess." She laughs.
"That sounds cute. I hope you have loads of fun this weekend, babe."
"What are you gonna do?" Kass and Jimin were obviously aware of everything happening between you and Jungkook being that they had to be the ones to take you home. They never pressed on it though, knowing you both were still pretty upset about how things were playing out. They figured you two would eventually work it out, but until then, they would just sit back and keep their mouths shut. You two were being completely stubborn, but it wasn't their relationship to fix.
"Well, there's this party Kang wants to take me to tonight."
"The Lacrosse party? Messy." She laughs. "Be careful, but also have fun, yeah? I still don’t know if I trust him.”
"Yeah I know."
"Tell me how it goes!"
"I will." You wave her off as you head into your room and shut the door. You figured you would just grab dinner on campus to avoid spending more money than you should; after all, dinner seemed to be pretty bomb tonight. You didn't mind going alone, sometimes Namjoon would join you, asking for you to bring him a plate of food while he does the hard job of sneaking inside the cafeteria through the back door. He usually waits for you at a free table and ends up staying there to have dinner with you, updating you on how life has been, how school has been. Sometimes Hoseok would join you, too. Either way, you didn't mind if no one joined. It was nice to have dinner by yourself from time to time.
You get there on time to be able to grab some food, eat quietly and head out before the cafeteria gets way too busy for your liking. You slip into the shower and throw on a mini skirt, a crop top and a denim jacket, lightly fluffing your hair in the mirror and adding a dab of lip gloss to your lips before Kang is calling you to tell you he's outside your dorm. He's wearing something similar to your color palette, however, you don't make much out of it since this also wasn't really an exclusive thing and you sure as hell weren't going around telling people you and Kang had a thing going on.
To him, you two might be a thing. You've definitely overheard people talking about you two in passing.
To you though, you two definitely weren't. And it was a big fuck you to Jungkook for that.
The house is packed from end to end already, and you're surprised being that it has barely hit 10 minutes since the party was expected to take off. Kang is having to park down the hill, allowing you to hop onto his back for a quick piggy back ride up until you reach the front of the house. There's people already fucked up out on the lawn [you figured they fucked themselves over during their pre-game session cause that shit really happens from time to time], either laying there drunkily or yacking on a free patch of grass.
Gross.
Messy, indeed.
Some people are posted, smoking blunts and offering it to people who were passing by. You and Kang both pass up on it, the idea of not knowing where it has been not sitting right with you. You both head straight to the bottles, taking shots and downing mixed drinks to chase it with so that you can catch up with majority of the crowd. Kang has his arm around your shoulder throughout the night, keeping you close to him, even when he's getting pretty drunk. You realize he's a little more handsy than usual, a little more touchy than you expected him to be. It doesn't bother you for a minute, until he really tries to hike up your skirt while you sit on his lap. You gently shoo his hand away, playing it off while he nuzzles his head against your neck.
"Let's go upstairs, babe." He says, the pet name sounding incredibly off coming from him. Maybe you were drunk, maybe you really just weren't in the mood. It just didn't sound cute, if that even makes sense?
"Okay." You respond stupidly, not wanting to cause a scene at a lacrosse party. You intertwine your fingers with his as he leads the way up the stairs, eyeing the doors as they come into view. He leans forward towards each door, making sure it's clear before opening it. You assume he finally finds one that he's satisfied with when you catch the small smirk that grows at the corner of his lips when he turns the door knob and brings you inside. He pulls you into a deep, rough kiss, one that doesn't even allow you to breathe and process what the fuck is even going on. You can't get into it for the life of you, no matter how hard you try to back away. "Wait, wait."
"What's wrong, baby? Isn't this what you wanted?" He says, kissing down your neck as he drops his jacket to the floor. He gently pushes you onto the bed, his hands traveling up your skirt as you lay there trying to push him off.
"Wait, stop." He doesn't listen. He continues until his hands are literally hooking onto your panties, his finger swiping down your clothed folds. You try fighting him off, but he's way stronger than you. He continues to be aggressive, forcefully trying to shove your panties down until you muster up all the energy you have to finally push him off of you completely. "Stop!"
"What the fuck? I thought you wanted this?"
"Who the hell said that?"
"Are you serious? The way that you're dressed and the way that you look at me. The way you approached me at your friend's party - isn't it all because of this? Because you wanted me? Why are you backing out now?"
"Jesus, get over yourself." You stand, fixing your skirt back down. He furrows his brows at you before his hand grips your arm tightly, shoving you against the wall.
"The fuck, you can't just leave without giving me anything. I brought you here to this party."
"Let me go! You're fucking sick. No one even told you I wanted this to go down. I don't know who you think you are, but you need to get yourself together and stop assuming every pussy is yours to take." He attempts to pin you, his hand holding up both of your hands against the wall while the other tries to pull up your skirt. Someone accidentally opens the door, distracting him and giving you leverage to shove him off and get the fuck away. You dart down the steps, fixing your skirt as you head outside and away from the house.
Fuck, you're far from campus. And Kass and Jimin aren't around.
God.
You groan and run your hand through your hair as you continue to walk down the hill and into the neighborhood to get as far away as possible from that house and that gross ass dude. He was literally just like the rest of the basketball team. You've heard stories and they weren't nice. Looks like he was trained well already, and that shit was sad. What a waste. A beautiful human being with such a nasty, sick mindset. You hoped other girls hadn't fallen for his shit.
Ugh, it sends shivers down your spine. Bad shivers.
"Hello? Y/N?"
"Kook, can you come pick me up please?"
"Yeah, yeah. Of course. Where are you?"
"I'll drop my location. Please hurry." You say, looking back to make sure your coast was clear. You drop the pin into your text thread with Jungkook and sit on the curb until his arrival. It's getting pretty chilly out, and the denim jacket you're wearing fails to provide you with the warmth you're looking for. Sooner or later, Jungkook is pulling up, damn near hopping out before he can shift the gear into park.
"You okay? What happened?" He says, opening the door for you before rushing over to the driver's seat.
"Nothing, can we just go back to your place?" He nods silently, and doesn't press any further after hearing your tone. He watches from his peripherals how you fiddle with your fingers and constantly reach to pull your skirt down even though he doesn't think there's any other way you could pull it down even more. He watches as he parks the car on the curb in front of his apartment how you simply undo your seatbelt and hop out to walk straight into his apartment. He watches as you welcome yourself into his closet and pick out some clothes for you to change in.
You were hurt, and his blood boils thinking about who could've done this and what they could have possibly done.
I mean, no. He knows who did this, but the question was what exactly did he try?
He hears the shower turn on, then quickly get turned off after a good 5 minutes. You had stepped in for a quick body shower, using Jungkook's bodywash just to rid yourself of feeling gross. Feeling gross from being shoulder to shoulder all night long, people breathing down your neck. Kang touching you inappropriately. You slip into Jungkook's clothes, his scent wrapping around you entirely. When you head back into the room, Jungkook has his headset back on as he faces his computer, logging back onto his game of League of Legends. You silently toss your dirty clothes to the side of his room, making a mental note to grab it tomorrow morning and toss it straight into the laundry.
Straight into a fire, perhaps. But you loved those clothes so much, it was unfortunate it'd have such a horrible memory to go with it.
Jungkook slowly removes his headset again and removes himself from his game before he heads over and sits on the edge of his bed. You simply look at him, pursing your lips tightly together to prevent yourself from crying.
But he can tell.
"What happened Y/N?" The question triggers you, making you cry into your hands as he sits there, dumbfounded and worried at how he can fix this and make you feel better. "Look, you don't have to tell me all the details but please tell me how I can help. At least tell me if I need to beat Kang's ass." He says, pulling you into his arms.
"He tried to fucking take advantage of me." You mumble as you remove your face from your hands.
"He did what?" He manages to ask even though he has a hard time swallowing the lump that formed in his throat. He already assumed you had placed him in the same category as Kang even though he never intended to take advantage of you. He really took that night as something special [even drunk], and he never meant to make you feel like you were a used object. Not like Kang.
"He-he," You sniffed. "He tried to force me into having sex with him. He took me upstairs at that lacrosse guy's party or whoever the hell it even was, and he started to aggressively kiss me. And then he tried to force my panties down and touch me there, and—"
"Okay, please don't go on or else I'll literally go over there and tear his ass apart right now. I promise you." He says sternly, his jaw clenching tightly. "God, fuck. I'm so sorry Y/N. I can't apologize on his behalf but fuck, you didn't deserve that." He uses his sweater to wipe your tears.
"I don't even know why I'm crying, this shit isn't even worth it." You groaned. "It's just overwhelming to process, I guess."
"That's okay." He says, letting out a sigh as he brushes his hand through your hair and continues to wipe the stragglers falling from your eyes. "Anything I can get you right now?"
"No, I'm probably just gonna go to bed." He nods. "Thank you for picking me up."
"Of course. You know I'll always be there." He says. You slip yourself into his sheets, watching as he makes his way back to his desk. But fuck, the only thing you needed right now was him. You didn't want this distance anymore, and you just wanted to be comforted in true Jungkook fashion.
"Wait."
"Hm?" He hums as he has a hand placed on the  head of his chair while he turns to you.
"Can you just lay with me?"
"Yeah." He says, shutting off his computer before making his way over to you in the dark. You feel him slip in next to you, his arm snaking around your shoulders so he can pull you close and onto his chest. "Better?"
"Yeah." You say, shutting your eyes as you listen to his heart beat.
"Y/N."
"Yeah?"
"I never meant to take advantage of you, or make you feel like I used you that one night." Silence. "It was dumb of me, but I just— I had trouble coming to terms with my feelings. I was scared that you wouldn't feel the same way, but I thought fuck it, at least you would know, right?"
"What are you talking about, Kook?" You ask, close to a whisper.
"I'm saying that I really fucking like you, Y/N. No, that's not right." He curses himself. "I-I uh, I'm in love with you. And I don't know if I messed this up already with the way I acted, god I hope not, but you at least deserve to know that I truly do value you and that you mean alot to me. That night, even though we were pretty plastered, it meant a lot to me. It was more than just sex and I'm sure you felt that too." He waits for your response as his fingers rake through your hair. "Please say something, anything."
"I feel the same way, Jungkook. You're an idiot for running off, but I couldn't even stay mad at you. You just know how to hit my soft spots and I can never say no to it. Can never turn my back on it." He presses a kiss against the top of your head.
"Fuck, I'm really glad to hear that cause I don't know what I would have done besides cry if you rejected me." You playfully hit his chest.
"You're annoying." You jokingly say as you chuckle.
"I'm sorry. I really am. I never wanted to hurt you."
"It's okay." You look up to press your lips against his before laying back down.
"And Kang better be fucking glad you're pressed against my body right now because I'm still looking to beat his ass."
"He's not even worth it." Is the last thing you say before you find yourself drifting into a deep sleep, in the comfort of Jungkook's arms.
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"You two feeling okay? Nervous?" You and Jungkook shake your heads. "Good, you guys got this. You've been looking amazing during practice, the audience will love you two, no doubt. Just remember to show emotions through expressions and hit every beat sharply." Hoseok nods in unison with the both of you.
"Got it, thanks Hobi." You smile at him toothlessly. You and Jungkook patiently waited for your turn backstage, the talent show already off to a wild and fun start. So many students came by to showcase their talents - from beatboxing, open mic, freestyling [like Yoongi did], dancing, singing, you name it. It was always a fun time at the talent show, and it was always nice to see people getting love for the shit they loved to do.
"You're up next." Hoseok says. "I'll be in the front row. Kick ass and have fun!" He says as he rushes off towards the opposite end to head back out to his seat in the theater.
"Ready?" Jungkook holds out his hand for you to take.
"I think so." You playfully respond as the backstage crew is rushing out the previous talent and rushing you two in to take your places on stage. The lights pick up as soon as the music starts, Kang's big ass head already in full view for you. He's definitely not smiling, no, he has a look of pure disgust because he simply couldn't get what he wanted from you.
And boy, who's fault was that? Not yours, no sir. It was his fault for thinking he had it like that.
But anyways, you're feeling the music, you're feeling the piece because you're dancing with your bestfriend and there wasn't this grey area anymore. It was easier to get into the motions, to get into the feeling, especially when things felt right between the two of you.
And God, what else is more attractive than Jeon Jungkook hitting his 8 counts so smoothly, with just enough umph to make it pop but make it pop cleanly.
Yo, please. I beg. Send some help. You could literally melt on stage.
The moments where Jungkook has to be close to you, where he has to touch you - you let him, and you touch him with meaning. You don't stray away this time because you have no reason to. The crowd is cheering, lots of 'ou's' and 'aw's' erupting from various places in the theater.
"Pretty lady." Jungkook whispers in your ear as the move requires his hands to be placed on your hips for a quick moment. You hear him slightly singing along to the song as he parts from you, causing you to blush.
Sooner or later, the couple piece is over and the song is transitioning to Jimin's piece, you and Jungkook rushing off the stage so the next group can take their positions. Jimin wanted to test his limits, creating a piece a little different than his usual taste - Chris Brown's Came to Do begins blaring through the theater speakers. You immediately jump into Jungkook's arms once you both reach backstage, the both of you immensely happy and pumped that you got through the piece without messing up one step or beat. It went so smoothly that Hoseok was standing in the front row, clapping and cheering in typical Hoseok fashion. You intertwine your fingers with his, slipping through the side door to catch Jimin's piece on stage. You and Jungkook are cheering them on, always impressed by the shit your friends can come up with. You both loved dancing, but you couldn't even imagine coming up with your own pieces to teach people.
That night after the show, everyone heads to a nearby restaurant for dinner with everyone. You all take up almost an entire section of the restaurant, splitting two long tables to accommodate the entire group with doubled the waitresses to take your orders. You settle for water, splitting an abnormally huge and filled deep dish pizza with Jimin, Kass and Jungkook. It was a good day, a good night, everyone at the table happily eating and chatting it up over dinner. You turn down any drinks because to be honest, drinks lowkey make you queasy just from the thought of how much you drank at Jungkook's apartment, plus the added bonus of that party Kang took you to. Jungkook declines as well, knowing he has to drive you back safely.
Jimin and Kass head back to the apartment because Yoongi says he's gonna hang out with Joon And Hoseok for a bit, and they warn you and Jungkook that things may get loud so the both of you decide to really stick to the plan of bringing you back to the dorm. Jungkook does his usual routine of dropping you off first before finding parking around campus. You hop in the shower and come out in Jungkook's oversized crewneck that he left in your closet, forgoing the shorts because you certainly thing that at this point, he'd love to see you in his sweater and panties.
And he does. He smiles as he pulls you close, his hands traveling up your sweater, only to find out that you literally don't have shit on besides some cute little boyshorts. He feels himself hardening in his pants quick because he's incredibly attracted to you and everything about you, always has been, always will be.
"You did amazing tonight." He says, gently kissing your forehead.
"You did too, partner." He gives you a slightly shocked look.
"Is that all I am to you? Your dance partner?"
"Yeah, why? Were you expecting more?" You joke as you smile up at him.
"Yeah, I was."
"Oh?" He gently swoops you up into his arms, your legs wrapped tightly around his torso as he sits you on the bed, his hands resting on your thighs while you continued to hold him around the neck. "Care to tell me what you were expecting?"
"Well, you know, my best friend—" He presses a kiss against your lips, thumbs gently rubbing circles against your hips. "My girlfriend."
"Hm, say that again?" Your fingers are gently playing with the ends of his hair, your lips barely grazing his.
"My girlfriend." He says closed to a whisper, kissing you softly. The kiss deepens quick, Jungkook's tongue lining your bottom lip as his way of asking for permission to take it further. You gladly take it and let him in, your tongues instantly fighting for dominance. Your fingers travel up his hair, tugging ever so slightly just to let him know you want more. That you need more.
And he gets that.
His fingers hook onto the band of your boyshorts, tugging them down and letting them fall down your legs and onto the floor. He breaks the kiss momentarily, his brown, puppy dog eyes looking straight into yours.
"Hey." He says, brushing the hair out of your face.
"Hm?"
"I know I said the last time was special, and it was. It is." He corrects himself. "But, I wanna do right by you this time around. So, is it okay if I keep going? Are you comfortable?" He asks properly, since the two of you are both sober and perfectly coherent, aware of your surroundings and the fact that you'll be seeing each other fully naked in a few minutes.
"Yes." You respond. "Yes, I want you to keep going. I want you. This." He simply nods, bringing his lips back onto yours. His hands climb up your sweater and gently gives your breasts a good squeeze, earning a small moan from the both of you. His other hand begins to travel down to your pussy, two long fingers slowly probing your entrance and causing your breathing to hitch.
"You okay?" He asks lowly. You nod, biting onto your bottom lip as you tilt your head back and rest on your hands, no longer able to keep up with the kiss due to all the pleasure starting to pile up deep in your core. Jungkook starts of slow, his head now buried into the crook of your neck as he works his digits upward, tickling at the right spot.
"Ohhhh, Kook." You mewl as his tongue swipes across the surface of your neck, biting gently beneath your jaw. He begins to pick up the pace, the sounds of him finger fucking you filling up the room entirely.
"Fuck, you're so wet baby." He groans into your neck.
"I'm gonna cum." You whine, teeth almost piercing through your bottom lip in between your whimpers.
"Need to taste you." He removes his fingers and sinks down in between your thighs, gripping onto them and pulling you just a teensy bit more off the edge of the bed so he can get a good angle. The sight of his eyes looking up at you in between your legs is to die for, and the sight alone is enough to make you cum. But, you hold on, you ride out for a little longer - feeling Jungkook's tongue swipe in and out of your folds before he's sucking endlessly on your clit.
"Ahhh, fuck, wait, Jungkook!" He slightly smiles while eating you out, signaling that he's not stopping even if you beg him to. "Hnnng—shit!" You moan loudly as you feel yourself toppling over the edge, your body shaking in Jungkook's grip. You twitch every time he continues to suck gently on your sensitive nub, letting you ride out the rest of your high. He comes back up to your lips, the taste of your own cum lingering on it as you kiss him deeply.
"You taste so good." He says, back to twirling your nipples in between his fingers.
"Wanna feel you." You fiddle with his jeans, undoing his belt and sliding the rest down as much as you could. Jungkook gets out of his shirt and tosses it aside before helping get the sweater above your head. His eyes glow at the sight of your bare body in front of him, wanting to do nothing but please you and please you well.
"God, you're so perfect." He places kisses down your collarbone, to the surface of your breasts before quickly swirling his tongue around your perked buds. You moan as you tug down onto his boxer briefs, immediately stroking his hardened member while he tended to you. Jungkook was a fucking beauty himself - his soft hair, his perfectly toned body, his long 'thick in all the right places' dick.
"Please." You plead. "I want you inside of me." You whimper, causing Jungkook's breathing to hitch when you slightly tighten your grip at the base of his shaft. He gently pushes your hand aside to take over, lining himself up at your entrance. He inserts the tip, watching your eyes roll to the back of the head as he slowly sinks into you.
"Mmmmmgod." He moans. "So tight for me, baby. So fucking wet and tight." He repeats, close to a growl. Your moaning begins to pick up, matching the pace of his thrusting. You're still on the edge of the bed, Jungkook keeping you steady by gripping your thighs tightly. He marvels at the sight of your titties bouncing up and down with every thrust, hissing and shutting his eyes momentarily to keep himself grounded and to prevent himself from coming too quickly. Cause god, he can literally blow any second now.
"Jungggggkooook, yessssss!" You moan loudly, whining even at this point with how good he feels fucking into you at such a fast pace. You're feeling slightly sore already from him hammering into you, but nonetheless, it builds more pleasure for you and you want nothing but to reach your high again. "I-I'm coming!" Jungkook moans in unison with you when he feels your walls pulsating against his cock.
"Such a good girl for me." He says, slowing his pace. The creamy sounds of Jungkook's cock slipping inside and out is music to the both of your ears. He finally gains the courage to remove himself, sitting next to your spot on the edge of the bed and pulling you onto his lap. You swing a leg over, your hands resting on the nape of his neck while you sink yourself lower onto his length. Your mouth opens to let out a moan, but the best you can do is let out a hiss. It feels too fucking good that you can't even process it thoroughly. Jungkook pushes your lips down onto his by grabbing your neck, his other hand guiding the movement of your hips as you roll into him.
"Mmmggg—Jungkook." You whimper in between kisses. "You feel so fucking good, god. You're gonna make me cum again."
"Yeah, cum for me. Cum all over me. It's yours." He grunts, his hands guiding you to work him faster. Your movements are getting sloppier, and you feel your wetness starting to coat his pelvis. He doesn't give a fuck though, and neither do you. This shit feels too good for you to worry about the mess you're making on him.
"Cum with me please." He moans at the sound of you whispering into his ear.
"Faster, baby." He says, almost making you cry at how awfully close you are to unraveling. You tug onto his hair, your head buried deep into his neck as you try and suck onto the surface, trying to find an outlet, some kind of release, until you let go. You suck harshly as you coat his cock with your cum, leaving a purple mark right at the base of his neck. You continue to ride out your high, rolling your hips sloppily as Jungkook finally lets himself go, his moan bouncing off of your walls as his seed fills you up warmly.
You stay in your position, slowly raising your head to cup his cheeks and kiss him deeply once more.
"Fuck, I love you." He says slightly pulling away.
"I love you too." You giggle.
"Didn't actually need any drinks to do this now, did we?" Jungkook jokes, softly pinching your hip.
"Shut up."
"Damn, you both couldn't even at least try to be quiet?!" Jimin yells from outside the door.
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after-witch · 3 years
Text
Hook Line and Sinker [Yandere Ransom Drysdale x Reader]
Title: Hook Line and Sinker [Yandere Ransom Drysdale x Reader]
Synopsis: You’ve broken up with Ransom Drysdale, and you mean it this time. But the freedom that comes with the breakup leads to a series of unexpected coincidences that leave you wondering: was it worth the price?
Word Count: 8955
notes: yandere, mentions of physical abuse, financial abuse, comfort sweaters
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Nothing lasts forever. Not even relationships--and certainly not love. What might start off as an intense, passionate relationship can (and did, in your case) eventually fizzle; things that you were willing to overlook when you were absolutely besotted would wear down with time, and eventually they became too much to ignore.
That’s what you tell yourself, what you remind yourself, in the moment after you tell him:
“It’s over, Ransom. We’re done. I’m leaving.”
It couldn’t last forever. Not with his inability to stay sober, not with his tendency to cheat on you with meaningless flings that somehow hurt more than any steamy single-minded affair. Not with his flare-ups of controlling tendencies that left you in tears on the bathroom floor as he asked you to please stop dressing like a slut in front of his family, is that too hard to ask?
You’d asked him to change. He swore he would; he never did. You forgave him, more than once, more times than you could count. But enough was enough. Maybe he thought you were too weak to leave him, especially three years into your relationship, when your lives were becoming so integrated, pushing you towards a potential permanent future. It was a future that left you feeling numb and anxious. Stuck in a marriage with someone who wanted to stay with you but treated you horribly, all the same. And that wasn’t even getting into the family dynamics that left your head spinning.
He stares at you now, and his mouth opens just a little bit in what you know is going to be a barrage of questions, insults, maybe even threats spurred on by your words. But instead he closes his mouth and shakes his head, letting out a soft, bitter chuckle.
“Well, damn. This sucks.” You can see the indent of his tongue in his cheek before he clicks and shrugs. “Guess that’s it then. Need help packing your shit or what?”
His response is so blasé that you’re genuinely shocked and, you must admit, a little hurt. He didn’t even ask for a second chance or beg you to stay or argue with you about your terrible timing because our-vacation-to-Hawaii-is-coming-up. So it’s your turn to look surprised, and you shake your head.
“No, I… already took care of it. It’s at a storage locker.” You didn’t have family left, and your close friends had pulled away from you one by one once you stayed with Ransom time and time again--so you’d had to pay movers to help you pack and transport everything to storage over the weekend, while Ransom was away and you were free to make a clean breakup.
He nods, sticks his hand inside his jacket pockets. He’s looking around the room, avoiding direct eye contact in a clear show of his discomfort. It’s weird seeing Ransom like this--the normally self-assured, cocky Ransom, looking for any excuse not to look at you.
“So… see ya around?” His tone is sincere, if still confused. The idea of you leaving must have really never crossed his mind. The look on his face when he finally faces you again appears genuinely puzzled.
He sticks out his hand and it feels almost comical for things to end this way, particularly considering the nights you’d spent imagining some big blow up, some big fight with Ransom screaming and you firing off the many reasons why it had to end no matter what he said.
But it didn’t go the way you expected at all. It was calm. Easy. A clean break-up.
So you shake his hand and grab your purse and the small roller-suitcase and give a half-hearted wave as you walk out the door; the taxi you’d hired to pick you up is waiting, car running, meter going. You would be staying at a hotel for two weeks, which would hopefully be enough time to find a semi-decent apartment; your credit score had improved so much since Ransom added you to his cards, to a shared checking account, and it wouldn’t be too difficult to get approved.
A new life, one where you could focus on yourself for once, was just around the corner.
**
"I'm sorry, miss, but it's definitely not the reader. The card is declined."
You've had this nightmare before. No, you've lived this nightmare before--years ago when your credit was shit and you ran up your cards and had to face the music in a publicly humiliating display with the longest checkout line you'd ever seen behind you. Only that was years ago, in a little grocery store, and since getting together with Ransom you never had to worry about problems like this. You never had to worry about the shame of not having enough, not being enough.
But this? This was happening now. In an upscale hotel. With your nice purse (a Christmas present) and designer clothes (casual, comfortable) and your cheeks flushed undeniably warm.
The hotel clerk has a tight, sympathetic smile on her face. A coworker who walks behind her glances at you, judging, and you just know he's going to head into some break room and tell everyone but yet another piece of discarded army candy with a declined credit card. You wish you'd kept your sunglasses on.
"Did it, um, say why? I don't--" you plaster a smile on your face, hating the way this all feels familiar, like a part of your past coming back to haunt you. "I don't understand, the card is good."
The clerk's smile flickers, just a bit.
"It says there's a fraud alert on this card. Perhaps you'd better call the company. Or would you like me to call them?"
Fucking. Ransom.
"Oh, oh no, don’t worry about it. I’ll call them myself. I'm so sorry about this." You turn away from the clerk as quickly as possible and step away from the counter, away from the person waiting behind you who will surely have no trouble with their card, away from the clerks giving you a passive side-eye. You lean against a cool cement pillar in the lobby and you know what you have to do.
You have to call Ransom.
You haven't deleted his number yet--you'd planned on calling him today or tomorrow to figure out how to split up your shared finances--so it's easy enough to find the number. It's not so easy to tap his contact, but you have to, so you force yourself to do it and stare at his photo as the call rings. And rings. And rings. “Hello?” Your breath catches but in an instant, when the message continues, you feel stupid. It’s his voicemail. Fuck.
You text him, instead. Emergency. Call right away. And of course: He leaves you on read. Fuck.
You call him again. And again. He picks up on the sixth call, but your heart is racing too hard and sweat is beading down your forehead and it takes you a moment to confirm that the "Hello?" wasn't part of the voicemail message this time. Fuck.
"Um. Hey," you say, keeping your voice as un-royally-pissed-off as possible, because if he did put in a fraud alert then you don't want to risk any additional asshole moves. "So there's something wrong with the card? The one that ends in 8921? The hotel said there was a fraud alert and--"
"Did you really think I'm going to keep paying for your shit if we're over?"
His voice is quick, biting--exactly what you'd expected from him earlier. Somehow it stings even harsher over the phone, where you feel more helpless, unable to avoid his words.
"I thought..." you wet your lips, trying to maintain your cool. "Look, my name is on them, so I thought send you my part of the payments until I can get cards in my own name."
He chuckles, low and short. "Yeah? What, you want to create a payment schedule or something?"
You fight back the annoyance in your tone. You hate having to be the bigger person, but your finances--your life--is on the line. "Yeah, actually, that'd be perfect. It wouldn't be for long. You know I'll pay them on time, I'm not looking to screw you over."
"You're going too pay me on time? For all the stuff you've bought, the stuff I’ve bought for you, this hotel room and god knows what else? How are you going to afford all that?"
He knows you recently earned a promotion at your work. He knows this, because you were so excited about it, and his half-assed congratulations over lukewarm leftovers left you feeling bitter and sad and useless. So you can't help it when bitterness seeps into your voice with your answer. "You know I just got a promotion."
"Did you?" It's said in such a casual tone that it gives you pause, but a moment later he simply hangs up on you.
Fucking. Ransom.
You shove your phone back into your purse, and the clerks at the counter are staring at you. Sweat has trickled down your back and your shirt sticks to your skin ever-so-slightly as you pull away from the pillar and approach the counter, awkward smile and cheeks hot.
"There is an issue with the card, they're working on it, so I’ll just call for a new reservation when it's fixed. I'm so sorry for the mix up!" Your voice is so peppy and high-pitched and fake and you feel like you’re back at your old job, feet aching with falling apart shoes, forced to deal with people returning old toasters laden with crumbs, calming they’d “just bought it the day before and it didn’t work.”
"Of course," the clerk says, and you know this is hotel clerk code for "You're a shitty liar."
You roll your suitcase out of the lobby with tears in your eyes and you shove your sunglasses on as soon as you've cleared the building. You feel exhausted, drained--so you use what little energy you have left to start googling for cheap motels.
**
The room smells musty. You pin the plastic sheet you’d snagged at a dollar store over the comforter and pray it will be enough to protect you from whatever is on the likely unwashed fabric. The TV is broken, there’s no WIFi, and there’s a few suspicious stains on the floor that make you wonder if this hotel has ever been featured in a porno, true crime show, or both.
But it’s all you could afford with the cash in your wallet. You only had enough cash on hand for 2 nights at a ragtag hotel that offers nightly and hourly rates. You didn’t dare use your debit card or any credit cards with Ransom’s name or information on them.
You just need some sleep. A good night’s sleep to feel renewed and ready to tackle retaking your life, bit by bit. In the morning, you need to go to the bank and withdraw your money from the joint bank account. Then you can reopen an account in your name, get a new debit card, and apply for a few credit cards afterwards.
Sure, it would have been nicer to do this without Ransom being an asshole. But deep down, you suspected he wouldn’t let you have a clean, lets-still-be-friends type of break. Not after all the times he’d pressured you into staying, manipulating you with words and gifts and promises, promises. Promises that were worth shit. 
The sheet crinkles underneath you as you scroll through your messages. You’d texted a few formerly close friends about the breakup earlier, hoping that they’d maybe want to reconnect. So far, you’d been left on read, blocked, and received only one response: “New number, who is this?”
So much for that. Not that you can blame them. There are only so many times they can rush over for a late night intervention in which you tell them every horrible thing Ransom does (he’s controlling, he doesn’t want me to meet with friends without permission, he tells me what I can and can’t wear, he cheats, he lies, he pushed me--)--before they get tired of you returning to him, again and again and again.
The only one who’d been texting you recently--okay, for the past year--had been Ransom. Mostly dick pics. And demands for you to send him something back, which you always did after a while, because you didn’t want to deal annoyed texts or voice messages accusing you of clearly cheating on him or hating him because why else wouldn’t you be willing to send him so much as a sexy selfie to your boyfriend? 
But in between those, there were conversations. Sometimes sweet ones, sometimes thoughtful ones that always made you remember why you fell hard for him in the first place. Late night conversations from when he was off on trips. You try not to wonder if he was fucking someone on each of these trips, if while you were sending him a late night ramble about a TV show and he was humoring you with jokes and quips, he was actually snuggled up with someone else. Laying in bed, naked, laughing at your dumb ass waiting at home.
The not-so-sweet conversations were ones that you had screenshotted and sent to your friends more than once, before they pulled themselves away. Texts asking where you were. Asking who you ate lunch with, and whether or not you were fucking them. Asking why your new office was connected to a certain co-worker’s, and how many blowjobs you had to give to get said new office because you didn’t tell him about the new office until after you were moved in, so you were clearly hiding him. Asking you to send him outfit pics so he could approve them or make you change if they were too slutty or not slutty enough or if you were only clearly wearing that halter dress to try to get with the bartender.
Yet your mind had always returned to the nice Ransom, the Ransom who made you laugh and squeezed you hard when had a shitty day of work and let you bury your face in his sweater as you snuggled on the couch. Maybe that’s why it took so long to leave.  You were waiting for him to stop being Ransom and start being the fantasy of Ransom you’d conjured in your head.
Your eyes feel heavy so you plug in your phone, turn the sound off, and lay down on the uncomfortable plastic sheet that crinkled over the pillows. It feels strange to lay on a lumpy mattress covered in plastic, after years of custom-made beds and memory foam pillows and all the other luxuries that Ransom was able to provide.
You try not to think about it too much. While you won’t exactly be indulging in all the luxuries you had with Ransom, but your job pays you well, and you won’t ever have to go back to living hand-to-mouth like you did before. You won’t have to worry about late bills and debt collectors and landlords who come late at night and demand inspections while you’re in your pajamas.
You have work in the morning. You have to get to the bank in the morning. Your thoughts are still buzzing with anxiety as you fall into an uneasy slumber.
**
“I’m sorry, but the account has been closed.”
You feel years of customer service training cracking underneath your skin. You can’t freak out. If you freak out, they won’t feel inclined to go the extra mile. You know this, from firsthand experience.
So you take a shaky breath. “Um, this just--it isn’t possible. It’s a joint account. I’m on the account. There was money in there, you can check--”
“I’m sorry, but the funds were transferred and account has been closed by the other account holder. There’s nothing I can do. I suggest contacting the other party in the account.”
You swallow and nod and walk away, this time having been smart enough to keep your sunglasses on to hide your humiliated expression. Why didn’t you insist on having your own account? Ransom said it was better to keep it joint, so you could just buy stuff whenever you wanted. You’d agreed because it was so generous, something you’d never thought possible at the time, when you were used to having to pay overdraft fees and cringing whenever you checked your balance.
Your fingers tremble as you bring up his contact on your phone. You tap. No answer.
You don’t have time to call him two, three, ten times--you have to get to work. So you steady your nerves. You breathe in, you breathe out. You get in your car and plug your phone in and decide to contact your lawyer. Fuck--your lawyer was Ransom's lawyer. But the anxiety eases when you remember that you’d paid him a retainer fee months ago, and Ransom couldn’t do anything about that. You could at least get a basic consult out of the retainer.
The call ringing sounds muffled through your car’s speaker but it isn’t long before someone answers, and you’re transferred to the lawyer Ransom insisted you have--gotta have a lawyer when you have money, babe--and that you hadn’t spoken to in ages.
“Hi,” you say, voice artificially bright, “this is--”
You don’t get a chance to finish.
“I know who this is.” The lawyer sounds tired, and his tone is curt and clipped. “I’m sorry. I’m no longer able to provide you with any legal counsel.”
You almost miss a red light and regret calling the office while you were driving.
“Is this about the debit card? Because I paid the retainer months ago--”
“The retainer has been refunded into the connected checking account.”
Your voice looses its artificial cheeriness and you stumble over your words in frustration. “That’s--it’s--it was a joint account, which is why I called, Ransom drained it and took everything. Isn’t there something we can do, because that was my money too and--”
“I am no longer able to provide you with legal counsel.”
You want to cry. You hate crying, as an adult. It makes you feel weak. Especially on the phone.
“I don’t understand. Why was the retainer refunded? Did--did someone call you?”
He clears his throat into the phone. “I am no longer able to provide you with legal counsel. Goodbye.”
He hangs up. Your hands shake.
You pull into the parking lot of your work and park the car and as soon as you do, you hunch yourself over the steering wheel and simply shake in frustration.
You have no bank account. Ransom drained it. You have no credit cards. Ransom blocked them. You couldn’t even talk to a lawyer, because--shock--Ransom made sure you couldn’t. Everything was in Ransom’s name. He insisted on adding you to his accounts, closing out your own paltry ones; insisted that he pay off your credit card debt, and making you close those, too, instead adding you to his cards. It was all to help you out, he said, at the time.
Wasn’t it? He was shockingly not judgmental about the state of your finances, and while you’d put up some protest, you didn’t exactly argue with him when he suggested wiping your debts clean and getting your credit back up. And considering that he wasn’t immune to needing a bail-out now and then (late night calls to his grandfather, snarky comments at his parent’s dinner table, come to mind) maybe he could sympathize with being in over your head. Even if your issues were rooted in poverty and shitty jobs and his were rooted in a total lack of financial discipline and, as you’d later found out, a drug addiction.
Still. He helped you before. He would help you now, once he realized how serious it was. For now he was just--reacting like an asshole, acting childish and ridiculous. He was an asshole. You know this. You’ve known this. You need to call him and meet with him and make him realize how ridiculous he’s being, and he’ll sigh and snark but he’ll agree to stop acting like such an ass.
But first you have to work. Life goes on. Even without Ransom--even with Ransom, screwing you over out of pettiness.
The air conditioning in the lobby is on blast, and the familiar smell of clean furniture and floor cleaner from the late-night cleaning crew is surprisingly comforting. Here, you can forget about Ransom--forget about the cards and the lawyer and the fact that your life has been upended in mere hours. If only until your lunch break, at least.
Anthony is working the front desk and you give him a a soft, if strained smile. There’s something in the smile that he gives you in return that reminds you of the hotel clerk. Sympathetic and judgmental.
Ah. You probably look like--well, less than your best, you realize. You did pack some toiletries in your suitcase but the water in the motel had streaks of brown and you didn’t shower, opting instead to rinse your face with what was left of a water bottle you’d bought earlier and layering on more deodorant to make up for the lack of a proper scrub. You probably looked a bit tired, haggard, not unlike some of the employees who got stuck with big clients the night before their paperwork was due.
Still. Nothing that freshening up in your private bathroom--thank god for the new office--can’t help. So you hit the button on the elevator and take deep breaths as you ride up, intent on working as productively as possible. The doors open and you navigate the familiar maze of open-plan desks for the lower-tier workers, desks surrounded by half-walls that always kept you staring straight ahead, lest you accidentally glance over and see a co-worker picking their nose.
Yet as you weave in-and-out of the familiar rows, heading towards the back of the room where the real offices, the ones with full walls and doors and privacy glass lay, you can’t help but feel that something is… off. 
No one calls out to greet you, though that can be easily attributed to the jealousy over your promotion. You’d been working there for far less than most of the lower level workers--Ransom got you the job, with his connections and a hefty revision of your resume and, you assume, some personal phone calls--and you’d already been promoted to senior management. That wasn’t technically Ransom’s work, though. That was all your own effort, your own blood, sweat, tears and intense devotion to each project that came your way. Sure, the connections he helped you make, the dinner parties, all that helped--but if it weren’t for your skills, the connections wouldn’t have made a difference. Right? 
Still, whatever bitterness existed in the people hunch in open-air cubicles, the receptionists always greeted you. But today they caught your eye then awkwardly glanced down, or pretended to be looking for something in their drawers. It was odd. Did you look that bad? That out of sorts?
You shake off the heavy feeling in your stomach and for once, you shut the door to your office instead of keeping it open for passers-by or people needing approval for this-and-that. It feels good to lean against the solid wood door and take a breath, a deep one, invigorating and calming.
A quick trip to the bathroom has you staring at yourself from all angles. You don’t look that bad, you reason. Just tired. But who wouldn’t be, sleeping on a plastic sheet in the shittiest motel in the area? You take a quick sniff under your arms but even that reveals nothing much but a faint hint of sweat and powdery deodorant.
There’s a firm knock at your office door and you glance at the mirror for a final once over before opening it up. It’s your boss. Did you have a meeting? You try to do a mental scan of something you’ve missed, but nothing comes to mind.
“Hi,” you say, wavering with uncertainty at the threshold. Should you invite him in? “What can I do for you? We didn’t have a meeting, did we?” You let yourself chuckle, dry and quick. “I’m sorry, I’m a bit scattered this morning.”
Your boss doesn’t return your chuckle, which immediately raises the hairs on the back of your neck. Something was wrong. Shit--you were working on a major project for a seriously important client. The type of client that could genuinely make or break a company, if you got on their bad side. You press your lips together and make a silent vow to keep it serious.
“I’d like to keep this conversation private.” His tone is low and serious and you invite him in without a second thought, shutting the thick door behind you, trying to ignore the way everyone was shooting glances as it closed. Fuck, fuck, fuck, your thoughts race--no wonder everyone was giving you the stink eye. Something was wrong with the client, and you were the one making primary contact with them.
Your boss takes a seat on the leather sofa pushed up against the wall and you immediately set yourself down behind your desk.
He sighs. Short. Frustrated. Annoyed.
“We have to let you go.”
The words don’t register.
“Go where?”
It’s only after you say it that you realize what he said, what it meant, and you feel like a colossal moron in every respect.
“It’s not working out,” he continues, staring at your desk and not at your face. “Since you’ve only been in this position for a month, you don’t quality for senior severance. The best we can do is to pay you what you’ve earned this week.”
Your mouth is so dry that you don’t know if you can talk. Your hand fumbles on your desk for a water bottle you’d left overnight, and that’s when you see it--the photo frame. You keep a photo of yourself and Ransom, cuddled together for a selfie, on your desk. The photo was lying on your desk, frameless, ripped in half--leaving only your vacantly smiling face staring up at you.
Ransom was here.
“Did he put you up to this?” You whisper. “Did Ransom tell you to fire me?”
You know he won’t answer. But you stare at him so fervently that he can’t help but look up at you, and you see it all in his eyes, in the subtle, embarrassed expression of his face.
You can imagine Ransom strolling in--maybe he called first--and settling in for a private audience with your boss in his office. He’d probably pull the chair up to the desk and put his feet on it, just to be an ass. Then he’d bring up… you. And why you had to be let go. Did he give a reason, did he tell your boss why a respected employee who he once secured a position for, who shot up the ranks through intense effort and work, needed to be fired? Did he even need to give a reason?
“This is absolute bullshit,” you say, finally, voice dry and hoarse and bitter. You want to say you’ll be contacting a lawyer. That this won’t stand. But you know--and he knows--that there’s nothing you can do.
Your boss stands, slow, and sighs again. “I’m sorry it had to end this way. Pack up your things as quickly as possible.”
He leaves, and you keep your eyes trained on the ripped photograph to avoid seeing the expressions of the people in the doorway before your boss mercifully shuts the door.
It takes all of your effort not to cry.
You don’t have much effort left.
**
Your things consisted of a handful of personal items, little touches you’d brought in to make your office feel more like “you.” A nice picture print. A pastel afghan to drape over the couch. A stapler with a floral design. You have the strong urge to dump them in a trash can, but that’s quickly quelled by the realization that you can’t afford to buy new things, or any things, at this point.
You don’t care if wearing your sunglasses as you power walk to the elevators makes you look stupid. You know someone, somewhere in this office is filming you and probably captioning it with something stupid to post to their Reels or TikTok, and it just makes you leave faster. A few people murmur comments your way, sympathetic in tone, but you’re not really listening. None of their platitudes matter, because Ransom was here, in your workplace, in your office, and he stole the thing you were most proud of from under your feet.
To his credit, when you reach the bottom floor, Anthony practically fumbles out from behind his desk and holds the door open for you. He mouths a “Sorry” and he probably is, but he’s probably used to dealing with rich assholes like Ransom who get what they want, when they want it; even when what they want is to fire a good employee on demand for very personal reasons.
The sun is beating down hard, even for the morning, and the stress of your situation makes you blast the air conditioning as soon as you get in the car. God, the car--how are you going to afford the payments? You wish you could call your mom. You wish your friends--are they even your friends, anymore?--would call you back.
You grab your phone from your purse and stare at the black screen. Maybe you should call the friend who didn’t block you. She would answer, if you called, because she knew you didn’t make calls unless it was serious. She might not rush to your side, but maybe she can offer you a place to stay, a couch, some advice. A kind word would do, right now, with how much anxiety and frustration has been packed into the last 12 hours.
But when you unlock your screen, your gut sinks. Five missed calls. From the storage company. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
You tap their number and bring the phone to your ear and pretend that your hands aren’t shaking.
The man who answers is the same one you talked to on the phone before, when setting up your move. “Hello, Move’nSecure Storage Company. This is Steve speaking. How many I help you?”
“Hi Steve!” You hate how chipper you sound. “I actually just got a few missed calls from you guys, I’m sorry, I was in the office and--”
“Oh.” His voice is surprisingly flat, suddenly flat, losing its customer service inflection in an instant before picking it back up. “Yes. We’ve been trying to reach you. For confirmation, the storage locker your purchased is A443, correct?”
You fumble in your purse for the receipt and confirm the little numbers printed neatly on the paper. “Yes, A443. Is everything okay?”
“No, it’s not.” You’re grateful that you didn’t have much for breakfast because you know it would be clawing its way back up at this point. “The card you gave us for the storage fee was declined.”
The debit card. You’d paid in cash for the move, and paid for 1 month of storage with the card. The card that was now useless, connected to an empty and closed bank account.
“Is there another card you can give us?”
“No, but...” You say, because no, there is not. There is not a card. There is not a job. There is nothing. “But if you could just hold my stuff, I’ll be there in less than a hour to get it.”
“We don’t hold items,” Steve tells you, a rehearsed banality to his tone. “Your items are currently outside the unit.”
You instinctively want to yell at Steve but, fuck fuck fuck, you’ve been there, behind the counter, dealing with people who couldn’t pay for shit and then had the nerve to get upset with you. “All of it?” You ask, your voice cracking slightly.
“Yes.”
You hang up, and toss your phone onto the passenger seat. The quicker you get there, the less chance that something will get broken or stolen or who knows what else.
The trip to the storage unit seems to take forever, and when you arrive you don’t even take a second to lock your car doors. Instead you sprint inside, startling Steve--looking at his phone, then at you, then at the sign plastered up on the wall leading to the storage locker floors. He points. Row A, separated into 100s, 200s, 300s, and--your number--400s.
You don’t remember if you say ‘thank you,’ because you’re speed-walking down the hallway and following the signs and it isn’t long before you see it: a storage locker with tons of stuff piled up, dumped, outside the now-empty unit where it was supposed to be safe and sound. Waiting for you to get an apartment and pick it back up and rearrange it into your new life, your new “you.”
The problem is immediate: You can’t fit all this in your car. You don’t know anyone who could take the stuff for you. You mind reels for options and the only thing you can come up with is ferrying your belongings to and from the hotel. You can pay for a few more days once you cash your partial paycheck. After that… you don’t know.
Pawn your things? Yeah. That might work. You can get enough cash by pawning most of your stuff, the good stuff. Enough money to get you into a shitty apartment with leaks and a bad landlord. Then you can a job that barely pays rent and you’ll be right back where you started, before you met Ransom. Before you thought leaking ceilings and $20 paychecks after taxes were a thing of the past.
You ignore the humiliation that makes your stomach curl as you take your things out to the car, handful by handful. Steve doesn’t bother holding the door open for you. You mention that you’re going to be back on your way out, and he offers a non-committal hum.
At least when you get to the hotel, the owner sees you fumbling with boxes and offers to help you out. It takes less time with two hands to get everything in the room, and once it’s locked up you head back out to the storage units.
You keep your sunglasses on for the second trip into the storage unit, even though you don’t know Steve or care what he thinks. He doesn’t look up when you walk in and it’s just as well, since you’re only heading back to the A-400s and don’t need his non-existent help.
But the sight that greets you when you round the corner to your unpaid-for storage locker makes your blood run cold.
Your stuff is gone. All of it.
You rush back to the desk, where Steve does look up, startled by your urgency.
“My stuff,” you spit out, “My stuff is gone! Someone took it!”
Steve shrugs. “Sorry.” He points to a sign behind him: “We are not responsible for the loss of items inside or outside storage lockers.”
“Are you fucking kidding?” You can’t the anger in your voice this time. “You just watched someone walk off with my stuff and didn’t say anything?”
Steve raises his eyebrows. “If it was that important, you shouldn’t have left it here. Or you should have given us another card.”
You feel like throwing your hands up but you just clench your fist and storm out the door, huffing as you reach your car. The anger melts into the sense of loss, the realization that you only have a few meager items that you’d managed to collect; you picked the lightest stuff, first. And in retrospect it was things that didn’t matter much at all. Clothes. Hair supplies. Makeup. You should have grabbed the box with your USB sticks, your memory cards, your photo albums; your personal mementos and sentimental shit. Instead you grabbed the box with your shampoo.
At least the clothes might get something in a pawnshop. The makeup, too, on Facebook or Depop or Instagram. But it wouldn’t be enough to put you up in an apartment. You’ll have to live in your car. Until they repossess it for lack of payment.
You don’t have your bank account, your credit cards, your job, a place to stay, or your personal possessions. And soon, you won’t have your car.
You have no friends. No boyfriend. No family.
All you have $20 left in your wallet and well, fuck it. You grab some McDonalds on the way home because, fuck it, and eat all the fries before you make it to the motel. The thought of eating in your dirty room makes your stomach turn and you decide to eat everything else you bought, the burger and the shake and the chicken nuggets too, tossing the wrappers on the floor. It feels like deja vu--getting cheap fast food to make you feel full, tossing trash on the floor of the passenger seat, all bringing back the way you used to when you’d grab something from the dollar menu on your way to work at the call center.
You almost wish you could stay at this hotel, brown water and all. The owner is decently nice. He smiles at you when you enter and doesn’t bring up that you didn’t come back with more boxes, like you said you would.  
You’re surprised at how grateful you feel for the dingy hotel room now that you won’t be able to stay here more than another day. Now that the alternative is sleeping in your car, then sleeping on the street, if you were lucky.
Your phone feels heavy when you set it on the table and stare at the home screen. Another photo of you and Ransom stares back up at you. You haven’t had time to change it up yet. He’s grinning. You’re smiling. It’s a good photo. You try to place it in your memory, try to remember what beach that was, but your trips blur together and you can’t.
Should you call him? If it was just the cards, just him being petty over credit and finances, it was one thing. You could try to placate him with returning gifts, just asking him to give you what you put in from your own paychecks. But making you lose your job? It was too far, too fucking far. And there was no going back from that. Fuck, someone was probably moving into your office as you sat in this dimly lit room mourning the loss of your entire life.
For a brief, very fleeting moment, you consider calling Harlan. You weren’t exceptionally close, but he seemed to like you well enough. He’d even asked you once, puling you aside at a tension-filled family party, if Ransom treated you right, told you to tell him if he ever got to be too much. Harlan felt like Ransom’s keeper--in more ways than one. You could never tell Harlan about the shouts or the occasional bruises from when Ransom really, really lost his temper--it’s not like you could prove them, anyway, as Ransom made sure to keep you away from his family when he lost control like that. No need for excuses about running into doors when he made sure you looked your best at family functions.
But the thought of breaking the uneasy stasis that Ransom had with the most significant member of his family made you want to vomit. There would be no coming back from that, and you knew better than to cross any line involving the great Harlan Thrombey.
You could call your friend--ex-friend? The one who didn’t block you or forget your number. You should. No, you will. Because what else do you have to lose.
But before you can bring up her number, you get a text--Ransom. It’s a photo and your curiosity gets the better of you as you click the notification.
“What the fuck?”
He’s sent you a photo of his car, trunk open. It’s filled with boxes, odds-and-ends. It’s filled with your stuff.
You text him: What??
He texts back: Hey. I’m in front of the hotel. Come out? Bring your suitcase. :P
It’s your stuff. It’s his car. He’s here. All reason is thrown aside as you grab your suitcase and purse and rush down the hallway, ignoring the owner’s confused response from behind his desk as you push open the front doors and look around the parking lot.
His car is parked to the side, not in front of the hotel’s glass double doors. He’s standing outside his car, leaning against it. He takes off his sunglasses and tucks them in his pocket when he sees you approaching, face confused and fuming all at once.
“What the fuck, Ransom, what the fuck is your problem--”
“Hey, hey,” he says, hands up in defense, “You’re not even going to thank me for picking up your stuff?”
You feel suddenly, impossibly rooted to the spot.
“What do you--what? You took my stuff?”
He shrugs. “C’mon, did you really think I’d just leave your stuff in some shitty storage unit? Someone would’ve taken it if I didn’t get there first.”
You swallow. “Why?” You ask, because Ransom never does anything for no reason. Or so you’ve learned.
His expression loses a bit of its cocky casualness. He tilts his head a bit, looking at you as if you’ve asked a particularly offensive question.
“Why do you think?”
To lord it over you? To make you think your stuff was gone and make you worried, sick, crazy?
“I don’t know,” is what you settle for in the end. “I really, really don’t. You--” You lick your lips, and try to calm down, calm the pitter-patter of your heart, and think before you speak. “You’ve done some pretty messed up stuff today. My job?” The last question comes out soft and pained, and you know your eyes are starting to tear up.
“Hey.” His voice is soft and placating and it makes your stomach flip as he approaches you, standing there on the sidewalk with your purse and suitcase. “Hey, c’mon. Don’t cry on me.”
You know this Ransom. The Ransom that holds you and pets your hair and offers to get Thai food delivered even though he doesn’t like it just to make you happy.
He puts his hand on your shoulder and you jerk it away. “Don’t.” That Ransom is a fantasy. Or an incomplete version, the version that pretends he doesn’t lie and cheat and hurt you in more ways than one. “Don’t you fucking dare, especially not after what you pulled today. My job? My job, Ransom? You’re a--a fucking asshole.”
He puts his hands up again, defensive, and takes a step back. But he doesn’t return to his car, and stays just a few steps in front of you.
“Look. Call me an asshole. Sure, fine, I can admit that. But do you know what else I am?”
He waits a beat, waits for you to look at him, before he continues. “I’m a realist. I like facts. And the fact is? You aren’t much without me. No job, no credit cards, no bank account. Without me, you’re just some broke chick scrambling to get an apartment in the shittiest part of town, working a dead-end job that don’t pay shit. With me though…. “
He leaves the words unfinished, but you know what he means. Flashes of your life, cocktails and smart business outfits and dinners at restaurants you didn’t even dream about attending before you met him. Phone calls with shakers in the industry and social media requests from people you’d never dream you’d meet. Connections that meant something, a career path, dinner parties with people who could offer tangible benefits to your career and your life.
It wasn’t that he spoiled you. He wasn’t a sugar daddy. You weren’t getting gifts for blowjobs. It was that his presence in your life boosted you, socially, financially, mentally, physically, in every which way possible.
His presence got you a job that you loved, which meant you weren’t burnt out when you came home, which meant that you had the time and energy to spend hours catching up on books or redecorating the house or watching movies. Good money meant you could order in whenever you felt like it, meant you didn’t have to worry if you burned dinner because you could just buy new steaks or order-in or go out, last minute, and still get a great table. It meant you had all the clothes you wanted, stylish and personally tailored; it meant you had easy access to a gym and exercise equipment and an indoor pool to keep you healthy. It meant you had a life that provided comfort in every way possible.
Being with Ransom Drysdale was like… like a little shot of privilege directly into your arm.
Privilege that he took away just as easily as he gave it. Just as easily as you took it. Just as easily as you took it and eagerly ignored the dark side underneath. Or maybe you didn’t ignore it. Maybe you liked it, maybe it reminded you of who you were underneath the designer clothes and expensive dinners.
Maybe you wanted to fix him, like he fixed you? He wasn’t totally bad, after all, he did make sure no one took your belongings. Maybe it was your presence that gave him the idea for that touch of sympathy, maybe with Ransom change was slow and muddled, not picture-perfect sweeping changes like the kind in movies.
“So?” Ransom’s voice cuts through your thoughts. “Are you going to come home or,” he waves his hands around dismissively, at the hotel, at you.
You feel very, very less-than right now. You look awful, your hair mussy and your makeup mostly melted off with sweat and sun. You probably smell more than you normally do, thanks to the lack of a shower. Your muscles, sore from the motel bed, ache for the large spa bathtub that Ransom had installed in the master bathroom just for you, stocked with bubbles and salts and overpriced bath bombs that were $10 a pop.
But your muscles had hurt before, when he pushed you against the dresser.
You have nothing, and no one. Except Ransom. Ransom who didn’t judge you when you instinctively saved plastic bottles and boxes, but merely nudged you towards recycling and took you out to splurge on a reusable water bottle and proper storage containers the next day. Ransom who asked you what sort of job you wanted, really wanted, and made it happen for you. Ransom who shrugged and wiped away your credit card debt without making you feel like shit.
Ransom who didn’t let you leave the house if your wrists were sporting fingerprint shaped bruises. Ransom who argued with you about talking to men, even men at work. Ransom who held you tight at night and said he never wanted to let you go, and wouldn’t you just make a fine-ass addition his crazy family. Ransom who took care of you, now that you had no one else.
“What do you want me to do?” The words feel slow, sluggish. Like they wanted to stick to the roof of your mouth and it took everything in you to get them out.
His voice turns low and serious as he stares at you with an characteristic expression. “Well, the first thing is to get down on your knees…”
You feel your eyes practically bugging out.
“What the fuck, Ransom?”
He laughs. He always did have a nice laugh.
“I’m just messing with you, Jesus. Take a chi-I-il pill. Just grab your purse and come sit your sweet ass in the front seat. Let’s go get some burgers, I’m starving.”
Your legs feel like jelly when you take that first step, and the sound of your roller suitcase as you pull it along seems louder than ever. Ransom pops the truck and you just manage to fit it inside with the handle closed, jamming it in between some boxes at an odd angle. The handle of the passenger side is familiar, warm from the sun.
You open the door and practically shove yourself into the seat, closing the door as fast as possible. You can’t do more than glance at him as humiliation and anxiety and just the smallest bit of relief washes over you. It’s been less than 24 hours since you broke up, and here you are--again.
He’s staring at you quietly, his expression difficult to place. He looks relieved. He looks annoyed. He looks like he wants to kiss you. He looks like he wants to slap you. Maybe he wants to do it all at once and can’t decide which to pick.
Instead, he puts his hand on your thigh. Gives it a squeeze. Hard, bordering on painful.  He’s staring straight ahead, at the worn-out sign on the hotel’s front door, one hand gripping the flesh of your thigh. He looks good in profile. “Don’t ever try to pull something like that again. I mean it. I really mean it.”
You turn, glance out the window, familiar tears at the edge of your eyes.
“I won’t,” you whisper, dreaming of the tub and bubbles and how good a warm soak will feel on your back, on your thighs, on your soul.
“Good girl,” he says, patting your thigh firmly. He plucks his sunglasses out of pocket and puts them on in a smooth motion. The car starts smoothly, its fine-tuned and expensive engine a familiar sound, and your hands feel robotic as you pull the seatbelt over your chest and click it tight.
“Let’s get dinner and get home. You have some unpacking to do.”
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makeste · 3 years
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BnHA Chapter 320: Deku vs. Class 1-A
Previously on BnHA: Flashback!Kacchan was all “fuck Deku and fuck his stupid goodbye letters, I need to speak to somebody in charge.” Endeavor was all “hello, I am Somebody In Charge.” Kacchan was all “listen up asshole, you need to let us go out and collect our wayward nerd because you stupidly left him alone with All Might and that’s a fast track to disaster right there.” Endeavor was all, “[self-incriminating silence].” Rat Principal was all, “okay sure, have fun kids.” Back in the present, class 1-A was all “hi Deku” and Deku was all “I’M FINE!!!!!” and Kacchan was all “THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT YOU’D SAY YOU DUMB FUCKING NERD” and so the kids all got ready to fight, because OF COURSE they’re gonna fight. Sorry guys, but yeah it’s happening.
Today on BnHA: Kacchan is all “what’s up Deku you look like a possessed Rorschach test, so anyway how are the new quirks coming along.” Deku is all “they’re coming along like THIS” and uses Smokescreen to try and get away. Kacchan is all “PHASE ONE COMMENCE”, and Kouda, Sero, Jirou, and Ojiro leap into the fray to shower Deku with heaps of love and violence, because this is a shounen manga and kicking someone’s ass while simultaneously proclaiming your undying admiration for them is just how it’s done in these parts. The KoudaSeroOJirou squad then passes the baton to Satou, Momo, Tokoyami, Kaminari, and Shouji, who are all “fuck this mask” and do a bunch of stuff to tear Deku’s mask off because they’re the real heroes. Shouto is all “LOOK AT THE LITTLE CRYBABY, THAT’S RIGHT, GO AHEAD AND FUCKING CRY and by the way let us share your burden please,” and once again I swear this is all very deeply moving and touching within the actual context. The chapter ends with Tsuyu being all “look at me. I’m the cliffhanger now,” and damn.
lol what
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I don’t think anyone was expecting that. I mean, not that I’ve got anything against Tsuyu or anything. anyways it’s a very nice cover and I love the colors and I hope this means Tsuyu’s gonna do something badass
also, “Deku vs Class A” -- pretty much the expected title, but it’s still got me hyped nonetheless fuck yeah let’s go
IIDA ANGST
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Iida Tenya really said “fuck the uniform code, we’re leaving the helmet at home today.” sorry kids, prim and proper C-3PO Comic Relief Iida has left the building. can I interest you in some Serious Iida
meanwhile Kacchan is all “sup Deku, I heard you got a few more quirks, and might I just add that you look like the Snyder Cut of Detective Pikachu”
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“you look like a tarred and feathered squid” okay easy there Kacchan. I mean it’s all true of course, but still
“thank you all for coming” OH EXCUSE ME SON, WERE YOU PLANNING ON GOING SOMEWHERE. LET’S JUST SEE HOW THAT PLAYS OUT
yep and there’s Smokescreen, right on cue
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okay Horikoshi, I leave it in your hands. hopefully you can come up with some more interesting combos than my dumbass predictions lol
LOL THIS ISN’T A COMBO AT ALL
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“explosions solve everything” -- Horikoshi Kouhei, 2021. something something shockwave, something something handwave ta-da no more smoke. lol okay then
oh, ouch
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he would know, wouldn’t he. nice application of one of your many hard-earned life lessons, Kacchan
by the way you guys, just as an experiment, I’m going to try to anticipate some of the discourse this week in the hopes of preemptively addressing it and thus saving myself some time later on lol. so here’s our first test run!
ANTICIPATED DISCOURSE: “oh my god what a fucking hypocrite can you believe this fucking guy”
PREEMPTIVE REBUTTAL: it’s precisely because Kacchan has been in this exact situation himself that he’s able to recognize his past self in Deku now and call him out on it. just because it took him sixteen years to get it through his head that he can’t accomplish every single thing completely by himself doesn’t mean Deku has to go down that same path. so yeah, maybe it is a bit hypocritical, but if you insist that the only people qualified to call out stupid shit are people who have never done a single stupid thing in their own lives, then what you’re basically saying is that absolutely no one on earth is qualified lol. so yeah, I’d have to disagree
and one last unrelated note, I’m willing to bet the whole “you didn’t even say a word before you ran off” thing is possibly the first thing Kacchan’s said in this whole encounter that actually does stem from genuine hurt rather than his tough-love-harsh-truths strategy. I’M TAKING NOTES HERE HORIKOSHI. at this rate it’ll take twice as many chapters as DvK2 for them to hash out all the stuff between them, geez
anyway so I gotta say, so far Deku vs. Class A is looking an awful lot like a DvK3 wearing a hat, trenchcoat, and sunglasses lol
OH SHIT I TAKE IT BACK??
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FUCK YEAH, YOU GO KOUDA. and I guess he ditched his mask as well! excellent
so far the strategy here seems to be “Kacchan says all the mean tough love shit while the rest of 1-A balances it out with warmth and kindness”, which actually works pretty well imo. Deku is one of those people that doesn’t usually need a Kacchan Translator anyway, but just in case, this is very efficient
mm but of course Deku is slingshotting himself away with Blackwhip. all right then, who’s up next!
FUCK YEAH
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okay but seriously you guys, what is going on with Sero’s face in these last couple of chapters though, it’s really starting to unnerve me. is he trying to emulate Kacchan’s whole asymmetrical facial expressions thing?
in fact let me just quickly hit pause here because,
ANTICIPATED DISCOURSE: “SERO IS TOGA??!”
PREEMPTIVE REBUTTAL: no
oh snap looks like Jirou’s getting in on the action too!
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poor Jirou probably spent days racking her brain trying to think of something she could bond with Deku over. is Horikoshi doing these in reverse order of the kids who have had the most interaction with him? that would explain why poor Kouda didn’t get a flashback lol
omg. well that answers that
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so by my count, Satou and Hagakure are the only ones remaining in this first tier of kids who Still Appreciate Midoriya even though they’ve barely ever spoken two words to him in their lives lol. so they’ll probably be next, and then we’ll get to the next tier of kids who are pretty good friends with him but not quite besties. and then we’ll move on to the IidaRokiRaka trio, and then lastly, to the boy who is in a tier all his own
BUT FIRST, A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR
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and by “sponsor” I mean the Dekuangst. just in case that wasn’t clear. indeed, many thanks to the Dekuangst for making this all possible
(ETA: okay so this whole “take me away” line seemed pretty weird to me, and sure enough it’s yet another one of those cases where only the verb is specified, and the object is left to the reader’s interpretation. so even though the translation says “take me away”, I’m pretty sure that what Deku’s actually saying is “take you away” -- as in, his loved ones will be taken away by AFO.
and that is literally the way he phrases it, though -- the verb used is “奪う” (ubau), meaning “to snatch away; to dispossess; to steal.” which, god, that hurts my whole goddamn heart though, because for him to say it like that?? not “AFO will kill you”, but “AFO will take you away from me.” he can’t have nice things anymore because of AFO. he can’t be around the people he loves because AFO will hurt them. he can’t have happiness because AFO will take it away from him. anyway so where the fuck is AFO right now, motherfucker I just want to talk.)
by the way can Ojiro just extend his tail to whatever fucking length he wants or what because it’s like twelve feet long in this panel lol
WOOO FUCK YEAH TOKOYAMI
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YOU LOVE TO SEE IT!! BUT WHERE’S YOUR FLASHBACK? YOU’VE HAD A BUNCH OF INTERACTIONS WITH HIM, THAT’S NOT FAIR
okay so now Satou’s stepping in which is back to my anticipated order, so maybe Toko will finish his little moment afterward
dskfjfkk
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“REMEMBER THAT TIME DEKU BORROWED SATOU’S FOOD COLORING” Horikoshi says, sweating. “AND REMEMBER THAT TIME HE, UM, SMILED IN HAGAKURE’S GENERAL DIRECTION”
actually I am curious about what Hagakure’s part will be because, you know, the whole traitor thing lol
(ETA: funny how we just skipped right over it huh. can we get a traitor reveal countdown started here? definitely getting close to that time.)
whoa lol wtf
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MOMO??? THIS HAS MOMO WRITTEN ALL OVER IT DAMMIT
-- SWEET MOTHER OF FUCK
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“SORRY MIDORIYA-SAN, I LEFT MY FUCKING CHILL AT HOME IN THE LOCKER NEXT TO IIDA’S HELMET” holy shit lmao
and here I thought she’d get a flashback to her time on the Baku Rescue Squad or something. but nope, no flashbacks from Momo, only terrifying sci-fi torture devices
poor Dark Shadow is such a trooper omg
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“why am I the only one who has to make prolonged contact with his smelly disgusting self” taking one for the team there DS
FUCK YEAH KAMINARI NO JUTSU
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THE PRICKLY BASTARD WHISPERER STRIKES AGAIN!! don’t suppose you brought any clean clothes you could sneakily force him into huh Kami
okay here we go, so now Shouji and Tokoyami are joining forces
um excuse me this is fucking awesome
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wonder how he’ll break free? don’t think he’ll reveal Fa Jin until the end of the chapter, so maybe Air Force or something? idk
TOKO GETS AN EXTENDED MOMENT BECAUSE HE IS A TIER TWO PATREON REWARD LEVEL FRIEND YAY
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WHY IS MOMO MAKING THIS FACE LOL YOUR THING WAS WAY WORSE
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and Shouji just casually hitting him with what is easily the best comment from anyone yet. too bad Deku’s just gonna ignore it. you deserve better Shouji
KAMINARI OMFG
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it only just occurred to me that Kami is currently trapped inside Dark Shadow right along with him lmao omg. realest one in the entirety of BnHA, right here. we will never forget your sacrifice
aaaaaaand Deku’s yeeting himself
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do you really hate the thought of taking a bath that much my dude
oh shit the mask!!
-- oh shit the feels
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o(TヘTo)
fuck. and I mean, we knew he was crying, that was a done deal. but still, to see him in this much pain is just...
and the acknowledgement that he knows they’re worried about him, but that it doesn’t change his mind one bit. this, right here, is why they have to be a bit harsh with him, you guys. because they’re up against the full, unbridled stubbornness of Midoriya fucking Izuku, and if they don’t match that stubbornness with an equal stubbornness of their own, they basically don’t stand a chance
(ETA: quick note that there is apparently another mistranslation here -- rather than saying that his friends are oblivious to the danger, what Deku is actually saying is that none of his friends have activated his Danger Sense once throughout this entire fight. which I had been wondering about, and it turns out Horikoshi actually confirmed it. so basically none of the kids bears any ill intent toward him, and there’s literal proof right there.
incidentally, as @class1akids​ pointed out, this also casts an interesting light on this chapter in terms of who hasn’t fought Deku yet. not to play the Hagakure Traitor Music for the billionth time you guys, but I’M JUST SAYING lol.)
anyway, but the good news is that they all seem to understand that. and the even better news is that we have reached the tier 3 friends!!
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“OR ELSE” lol, great to see Shouto wielding his friendship just as aggressively as Deku once did towards him. I do love a good role reversal
p.s., ANTICIPATED DISCOURSE: “why is Shouto being so cruel to Deku can’t he see how hard this is on him”
PREEMPTIVE REBUTTAL: this is a callback to the classic “even heroes cry when they have to” Shouto line from chapter 137. Shouto is clearly following Kacchan’s lead here and going for the more ruthless approach, knowing that the gentle approach isn’t getting through to him (if anything it’s only making him more stubborn as we saw on the previous page). basically it’s his way of pointing out that even heroes are still only human, and so is Deku last time he checked
ah okay, and there Tsuyu is at last
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okay real talk, I get why Tsuyu is included in the tier 3 friends, because she was one of the first people to team up with Deku going all the way back to USJ. but that said, this probably would have had more impact if their most recent interaction hadn’t been like 150 chapters ago
but anyway though it’s still a good speech. maybe not quite a cliffhanger-level speech, but a good speech nonetheless. in a way though, I’m glad to see that Horikoshi seemingly didn’t give a fuck whether he ended this on an actual cliffhanger or not for once
and that “headed toward the climax” part has me excited too, ngl. because if we really are getting to the so-called climax this soon, that makes me even more certain that there is indeed a DvK3 in the forecast. so I presume that next week (or I guess two weeks from now) will be the tier 3s along with the remaining tier 2s like Kirishima and Aoyama
and then after that, well... [orange and green banners being hoisted] [sound of screeching airhorns and vuvuzelas in the distance] [sound of All Might approaching in his car which I didn’t notice until I looked back at this page a second time whoops] THE PROPHECY WILL NOT BE DENIED
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