#he pulls off crazy stunts sometimes and that's pretty fun and all

[p1err0st4r]

☆ | authors note : just when i thought my hutao era was gone i imgained how she would interact with the upper moons and i just needed to write this.

♱ | upper moon with a s/o that is like hutao from genshin impact !! ( personality wise )

Kokushibo

You two hated each others guts at first , and i mean HATE.

Everyone wonders how you pulled a bitch like Kokushibo ... even Kokushibo sometimes thinks of that.

After the relationship started it seemed like you just forgot the old hate.

You guys balance each other out most of the time. Kokushibo could get through your facade, and so can you with Kokushibo

Sometimes you vent to Kokushibo about the fact that you feel like everyone hates you for your attitude and he tries to help you ... but you keep refusing and just brushing it off and saying it's a joke.

Despite that though Kokushibo sometimes gets annoyed with your little stunts and pranks , when it's directed to him of course.

You could pull embarassing pranks on anyone .. but not him.

And if you still managed to pull it off GOD FORBID it ruined his reputation.

He will not hesitate to manhandle you into calming down. (Will never harm you though.)

Mostly thinks you're overwhelming.

Man , just .. give him a break sometimes.

In general pretty healthy relationship !!

Douma

Now this is a really different story.

You guys are a chaotic duo that makes everyone watch where they're going in case you two set up a trip wire.

You didn't even realize how you became a couple.

The relationship stayed the same but you guys became a little more intimate than before.

Both of you are big fans of PDA , literally no shame. (Last time you were to intimate on the upper moon meeting so Kokushibo had to dicapitate both of you.)

(You still do that by the way.)

You never really vented to Douma about your feelings since you don't hace really quite moments where you could actually drop your whole act.

And honestly even if you did you don't thimk Douma would understand your feelings despite his hard tries to do that. You think your relationship is better off without that big of an emotional connection.

Sad moments aside , you two drive Akaza absolutely bonkers.

Not really healthy .. bur fun relationship !

Akaza

At first he didn't care for you ... well pretty much like most of the upper moons. It's not like he'll interact with you or anything.

Well that's until you pulled a prank on him.

He was SO embarassed and it drove him crazy. (Crazy ? I was crazy once . )

Now after that he was so tempted to beat your ass but still held back a little. ( you were actually all for it.)

But eventually you did end up testing each others strength.

Now that's when you started getting a more close relationship.

You started a romantic relationship with Akaza really fastly.

It is because you both opened up to each other pretty fast in the friendship and it made your heart warm up.

Akaza doesn't mind your pranks as much now , you couldn't be worse than Douma.

(Sometimes helps you set them up.)

Now vents are a common thing in your relationship. Akaza knows of your insecurities and makes sure to check up on you once in a while to see if you're doing better or not. Constantly reassures you that you are unique and loved.

I think this realtionship is the healthiest so far...

This is a bit short , im really sorry about that. :((

Thank you for reading this !! ♡♡

#kny #kny x reader #demon slayer #headcanons #kokushibo x reader #kokushibo x y/n #kokushibo headcanons #kokushibo #kny kokushibo #demon slayer kokushibo #douma x y/n #douma x reader #kny douma #demon slayer douma #douma #akaza #kny akaza #akaza x reader #akaza x y/n #genshin impact #hu tao genshin impact #hu tao #fluff headcanons

[bloodborne-on-pc]

started playin Halo 2 for the first time yesterday and I gotta say, I’m a lot more into the Arbiter’s levels than Master Chief’s levels. He’s just more interesting tbh

#rambling and raving #should i put this in the tags? im gonna be bold and put this in the tags #halo #halo 2 #no hate towards chief but like. he's just some guy. #he pulls off crazy stunts sometimes and that's pretty fun and all #i rather liked the bit where you jump on the prophet's throne and slug the bastard #but the arbiter has a lot more going for him. disgraced commander given a 2nd chance. but everything's a suicide mission. #everyone hates his guts including himself. idk i just like that whole thing a lot better #maybe chief gets more interesting in the later games. idk. for now he's just Cool McCoolGuy #which cant compete with Sad Space Lizard

[natashastruggles]

Its 4am and I have so much assignments but my brain has been overloading with TUA recently and I read too much tumblr post and I just have to rant so leave me be.

It’s been like 3 weeks since I finished watching TUA and around a month since I joined this fandom (I was desperate after watching ep 1, it was too pretty and the plot was fun but I had no time if I wanted to fully enjoy the whole tv show experience so I went to read the fanfics but not indulge on the tv series just yet because I had an god awful amount of piling assignments)

Anyways, it has been weeks and I can’t stop thinking about the show, Five in general because my god, this lil murder gremlin has such a tragic fcking life I can’t even comprehend how tf he is still alive sometimes.

It begins with Reggie abusive upbringing (which on hindsight was probably the best years of his life which speaks volumes in itself), and then he yeeted himself to the apocalypse the first time he tries time travelling (bless his soul), and afterwards works with the Commission for the chance to be back with his family and then he did it. He successfully transported himself 8 bloody days before the world ends. This man is on thin ice and it shows.   Then he does all he can to try and solve and stop the apocalypse but his siblings think he’s crazy and barely helps out until the end. Fast forward to Dallas and he’s running on adrenaline at this point because where tf he has the energy to keep going continuously with the shrapnel wound still fresh on his side. He gets blame throughout the whole ass season (this poor boi), gets thrown off a stairwell, took a frying pan to his head, fought himself, got crushed by falling debris of bricks whilst trying to save the same brother who yeeted him off the stairwell without hesitating. He even made a deal with the Handler because he was that desperate. He wasn’t even trying to stop the apocalypse at that point, he just wanted his family to be safe. But for the love of god, his siblings still don’t see that. 

Diego’s line of “I know what it’s like to love dangerous people. Difference is… they love me back.” where he doesn’t even glance at Five honestly hit me hard because we all know he loves them fiercely. He spent years in the apocalypse constantly trying to figure a way back, joined the Commission so he could go back to his family, accepted Handler’s deal TWICE to keep them save, and rewind time even with bullet holes in his body, even when he doesn’t know the consequences of said action, but he does it in desperation to save his family once more. In which said family is still unaware of this stunt he pulled. Honestly I’m a bit salty he doesn’t face any sort of consequences from rewinding time, like at this point he could just be immortal 

My heart aches for this old grumpy boy. The whole time he’s literally trying his best, but no one seems to acknowledge it. I personally feel like season 3 or 4 should turn him into the bomb, instead of vanya because boy oh boy, that would be so juicy. Imagine his siblings trying to stop a feral Five that has lost all hope, because let’s be real homeboy gotta have a breaking point at some point and his chaotic family is pushing all the right buttons to make him self implode. He is literally running on spite and the need to save his family. But once he learns no matter his effort on saving the Hargreeves siblings, that it’s all in vain, he gon snap. 

Thank you for coming to my ted talk

#The Umbrella Academy #tua #five hargreeves #he deserves so much more

[dr3am-t3am]

dteam wing!au, bc literally nobody can stop me.

my brain spit this out this morning, and i was like “i could make this and nobody could stop me” and now it exists. i put so much less thought than i should’ve into this. i dont even care. if anybody asks, this is inspired by “Minecraft, but we’re always flying” or something, but that’s not true i just wanted to draw the boys with wings.

some notes under the cut: 

- Dream was definitely the design i actually thought about the most. I wanted something fast and maneuverable for him, but not super expected (like a falcon or something, which is kind of a moot point considering the other two are super stereotypical wing designs, but also do i really care? no.) so I was thinking something like a kingfisher or a hummingbird at first, but that didn't really fit either, and plenty of birds are fast but not really agile. I then went into swifts, which are the fastest horizontal flying birds and are. super fast and maneuverable,, but guess what? they aren't the fastest horizontal flying animals.

- bats are.

- these tiny bats go around flying at 100 mph, making crazy turns and such all the while. theyre insane.

- Brazilian free-tailed bats ! look them up

- anyways i didn’t want to use bats at first bc stereotypical “evil” connotations combined with dream’s,, uh,, tendencies? (every manhunt vid, but especially speed runner v. mutant. you Know.) seemed like a super cliche take, but like come on. it worked too well. crazy bat boy doing crazy bat boy things. imagine the pun potential. 

- so anyways. he’s a bat.

- to be honest, I dont know what universe this would really exist in, real life or minecraft, but both have a lot of potential so. i might do more with this, because i supposedly made this up based on “minecraft but we’re always flying” i’ll put it in the mc world for now but like. both seem like too much fun

- anyways

- Dream is as I said, crazy bat boy. He is still minorly afraid of heights,, not as much as he probably is in real life but like,, he isn’t the most comfortable with them. He does love flying though, and in typical bat fashion he does a lot of dodging and weaving through trees and other crazy stunts. Bat wings are super jointed and flexible, so he’s able to weave through super busy landscapes pretty easily,, much to George and Sapnap’s chagrin

- George is a barn owl ! Partly bc though I know nothing about harry potter but i know owls are a thing with wizards and stuff in general, and george is apparently The harry potter nerd in the dteam, and partly bc owls are the bird equivalent to cats and george is a cat if you've ever seen one. also, his stupid goggles look like giant owl eyes. it works ok ? 

- he’s not as fast a flier as dream and sapnap, but he’s still a very effective hunter. he can fly Silently and he uses that to his advantage a Lot. unfortunately, he’s still colorblind, but he’s still got really good vision. his night vision, especially, is super good, as is his hearing

- george has. Lorge wings. he’s pretty average size, same as in real life, but he’s shorter than both dream and sapnap and has Massive wings. they’re super fluffy too, making them look even bigger, and the resulting image results in george looking pretty small for how Massive his wings are, like a child that hasn’t really grown into their clothes yet. they are the absolute best wings to cuddle with, even though he doesn’t do that often, and when he gets startled he raises them automatically to look a lot bigger than he actually is, in that owl way of becoming a circle. dream and especially sapnap find it hilarious.

- sapnap’s a red tailed hawk ! he seems to suit a bird of prey really well, and I associate the color red and orange with him a lot. Sapnap’s a great flier and very much enjoys screwing around in the sky, often way higher than dream and george really like to go up. He’s a fast enough flier, definitely faster than george, but nowhere close to Dream if they’re flying horizontally. However, he Can dive, and he can dive very very fast. He dive-bombs george Constantly, and sometimes manages to pull one on Dream if he and George do the planning beforehand. it doesn’t always work because Dream’s a little weasel and can maneuver himself out of place Fast once he notices, but they Have pulled it off a few times and his reactions are Golden. 

- Sapnap is *pretty* chill, but if you trigger his territorial instincts then he can become and absolute pain to deal with. This, of course, is why you can very often find sapnap and dream flying and chasing each other because dream was being a little a-hole and stole sapnap’s stuff or something. (he’s also very protective of his friends, who he consider as his territory, or home, not that he’s gonna say it or anything.)

- when sapnap gets into Instinct Mode he also rarely does the red-tailed hawk screech, which usually is enough of a shock to kick him out of it as both george and dream laugh themselves silly. both george and dream get the most flak for being the loud ones,,, (not even bc of his bird, for george, but just bc. He’s George) but that Screech puts everyone else to shame,, it’s just,, So Loud. 

- dream, when he isnt flying, is actually very protective of his wings. it’s not immediately obvious to the others, but because his wings are so small and maneuverable dream tends to fold them up and hide them under his clothes when he can, and otherwise keep them folded and away from everything else when he can’t. george has his wings folded about half of the time, and sapnap really never has his folded. they fly so much that it’s not super obvious, but dream’s wings are Delicate and full of tiny bones and joints thank u very much and he’s very protective of them

- both george and sapnap have feathers along their back and neck that will raise when they’re alarmed or scared. dream doesn’t, but his hair is Extremely fluffy and fine, to the point of almost seeming like fur instead of hair. 

- both dream and george lean towards a nocturnal sleep schedule, and sapnap basically grudgingly follows. they have a completely screwed up sleep schedule, just like real life. it be like that sometimes.

i’ll cut this off for now, but i have. more thoughts. we’ll see what becomes of them haha.

#dreamwastaken #georgenotfound #sapnap #dreamteam #dream team #mcyt #mcyt fanart #dteam wing!au #this is what ive been thinking about all day #myart #mywriting #i made the illustrations really quickly so theyre kinda messy #i like them anyways #this was fun #tell me if you want to see more !

[chrisevansgoodgirl]

if you’re going crazy, just grab me and take me

summary: after the worst year with this fucking family, Ransom proposes on ❄️ chrstmas eve  ❄️ it obviously doesn’t go over as well as his emotionally-stunted ass thought it would.

warnings: every god damn word in this thing is a problem. rough smut. choking, anal, hair-pulling, biting, this shit makes the first chapter seem light, i’ll just say that. a lot of fighting. verbal and physical. there’s some fluff but don’t let ransom trick you like he’s obviously tricked me.

word count: this shit is almost 25,000 fucking words 😂😂😂. i dead ass kept being like why the fuck am I taking so long to post this? Then I saw the word count and I 😳🤭🤗😂 someone pls tell me i did not just devote 25,000 words to exposing myself as a weak ass hoe for Ransom. pls tell me this is a fever dream. i can’t.

pairing: ransom drysdale x reader

a/n: holy fuck, am i a disaster. i apologize, i kept falling asleep and wow, i’m just confused about my entire process for writing this bc it was abnormal af.

part one: x part two: x (however, you don’t really need to read them to understand this mess? pretty sure.)

Christmas Eve:

It somehow felt that the entire hellscape that you were currently living in had simultaneously transpired yesterday but also years ago. That was the common feeling one was left with in times of so much exposure to Thrombeys. It was a whirlwind, but there were the good moments, and then the really bad moments, but then the kind of fun moments… It was a rollercoaster, honestly. One you had incorrectly believed you could cope with.

Meg and Joni had called you in a panic from the ski lodge they’d gone to in Canada. There was talk of stopping all flights, how were they going to get home? And lord, what about their home? Were they really supposed to stay there? Since being cut off, Joni had made some career moves that were smart, but she still had to scale back. They were in a much smaller place than before, one that was only temporary—Joni claimed as much about one million times while signing the papers for it.

Jacob had been the next to call, a hysterical Donna could be heard in the background. They had also been moving into another home because of financial issues. You weren’t sure what the ploy was with having Jacob call. Out of everyone in the family, he was the one you spoke to the least, maybe in competition with his irritating mother. Perhaps that had been the angle, were you really going to leave them isolated with their possibly murderous son in such a small house in an unknown neighborhood?

The answer was no. You weren’t going to leave out any Thrombeys. The Drysdales, on the other hand… You had made your terms quite clear. So, with the news of a quarantine sweeping across the country, these overprivileged people flocked to the house they had once called their own. But it was your house now, and that meant it was well within your right to exclude Linda and Richard.

The night you had told Ransom about it was…quite a night.

March: the arrival,

Your grand idea was to deliver the news quickly, over a drink when he was in the best mood he could be. You casually told him that Joni and Meg would be arriving first, then Walt, Donna, and Jacob.

He stared for a long time before simply stating, “I will not let them in the house.”

You rolled your eyes. “Ransom—”

He leaned forward, slamming his glass down on the table between you. “It’s not happening.”

You arched an eyebrow. Was he trying to be intimidating? Oh, you would be just terrified if you were an elderly author or poor nurse tasked with caring for the mentioned author. Seeing as you were his girlfriend, he was out of luck on that.

“I will lock the doors,” he declared, standing to place his hands on his hips. “Not one of those assholes is getting in here. You understand me?”

Instead of answering, you grabbed your drink and returned to the magazine in your lap. That was probably Ransom’s greatest source of irritation, when you decided you were done with the dramatics and ignored him.

He scoffed. “The fact that you think this is happening… It just goes to show—you call me a narcissist, but clearly, you are the narcissist! It takes one to know one!”

It takes one to know one? “Are you five?”

He crossed his arms over his chest.

With a soft sigh, you turned the page. It was silent for several seconds and you weren’t sure if he was trying to build up to something or if he just had nothing else left to try. Whatever it was, you told yourself you were ready for it. How many years was it now? You couldn’t be surprised anymore.

“Are you only with me for sex?”

And you stood corrected. Narrowing your eyes, you looked up at him. “I’m sorry?”

“You clearly don’t care about my feelings—”

“Ransom, seriously, shut up. This is happening, okay? Your family is scared right now, you could try being human. This was their home for a time, of course, they want to be somewhere they feel comfort—”

“No, I’m putting my foot down.”

You rolled your eyes again. “You don’t have a foot to put down. This is my house, too.”

“Too,” he repeated firmly. “Too!”

“Ransom,” you snapped, getting to your feet and throwing the magazine on the table. “Stop acting like a child. They will be here tomorrow. I’m going to bed and if you wanted to join me, that would be great.”

He sat back down, a clear indication that that was not happening.

Things with Ransom, since the last argument, hadn’t been as tense as you thought they would be. Majorly, nothing really changed. Well, sex changed. You guys just weren’t doing that, which was major, because of the rate at which it had been occurring. But other than that, nothing changed. He wasn’t ignoring you, he wasn’t not touching you, there was very simple no sex. At all. But was that something you were okay with? Hell no. It was getting old and you were getting fucking tired of it.

“Fine, if you don’t, just know that I am keeping track.”

“Track?” he narrowed his eyes. “Of what?”

“How many nights I’ve slept without you and how many nights you’ve gone without fucking me.”

“After your last indiscretion, did you really expect anything else? Which you still haven’t apologized for, by the way.”

“Apologize?” you scoffed. “For keeping a fucking vibrator? What do you want me to say, Ransom? Sorry that I have yet to give you total control over my body?”

“That is exactly what I want to hear.”

Without another word, you simply rolled your eyes at him and stormed off to the room you had once upon a time shared with your boyfriend. Not that he officially moved out. In fact, he was still sleeping in there and kept his shit in there. But he was not falling asleep with you nor was he was present when you woke up.

You had no idea what he was doing in there and you were trying to be human, unlike Ransom. Everyone deserved privacy. Besides, he’d made you your sunroom and it afforded him a lot of forgiveness. It was this tiny extension of the house that had huge windows and was just small enough to fit your yoga mat, a couch, and about a billion plants. You read there a lot, you also escaped Ransom a few times. You could understand his desire for an office. But as frequently as he was using it? That was scary.

Admittedly, it was difficult to stay mad at him when you walked through the house that you’d almost now completely rebuilt together. The only exclusion being the office. It had been one of those Harlan rooms that you’d never actually been in prior because you were not family. Weeks ago, you watched Ransom remove everything, add new things, but you still hadn’t been inside. He didn’t so much tell you that it was his own personal room, but it was very clear in how he locked the door. Like, all the time.

You had already been prepping for bed, knowing that the discussion was going to be exhausting. You threw yourself straight into bed, not overly optimistic about the possibility that you were going to fall asleep.

Maybe it was the argument, the mention, the acknowledgment that you guys weren’t having sex. Did he even care? It didn’t seem like it. That caused concern for you. You’d always thought that you would be much older when the two of you would be having no sex. You wondered if things were changing, if your relationship was changing.

Officially, it was hopeless. You were not going to fall asleep. You were just about to get back up when you heard him walking up the stairs, you froze, held your breath, hoped that maybe he wanted to end this. Instead, he walked by the room and to the end of the hall, where said office was.

Fine, fuck him. You just had to get up and moving, there was no shortage of shit you had to prepare. Jacob, though terrible, was family, and a teenage boy. You were going to set him up in a smaller room on the bottom floor. Harlan usually had live-in staff stay in that room if they ever fell on hard times. You figured he would enjoy the privacy. Walt might even enjoy not sleeping in the same room as the next Ted Bundy.

Meg’s room was the most used since she stopped by on weekends sometimes when Ransom was gone for the day or stayed out late. They always met in the kitchen when morning came to argue and give you a headache, however.

She probably needed towels in the bathroom. She might even end up wanting different sheets. Jacob would need more sheets. Was there a color you should give him in the case that the little psycho killed someone, if you wanted to prevent stains? Joni’s room had been cleared out except for major furniture so you wanted to get that set before the morning. You had intended to set all of this up at some horribly early hour, but you were too annoyed to try sleeping. What better time than now?

Did you even have food? You would probably need to go to the store in the morning. You would make a careful list and ensure that no one would need to leave the house again because you were not going to let one of these rich idiots get you sick. Food, sheets because as you were walking through the linen closet, you discovered that you didn’t have really any sets of sheets. Then, you would need laundry detergent, fabric softener. Not all the rooms had pillows—

“What the hell are you doing?”

Ransom found you madly scribbling on a notepad in the center of Joni’s room. You didn’t bother to look at him when you answered, “Making a shopping list.”

“May I ask what for?”

“We have no sheets or pillows or food…or really anything, Ransom. Are we fucking vampires?”

He sighed as he made his way to you. “Okay, it’s time for bed.”

“Go away if you’re not going to be helpful.”

“No, get up now.” But he was met with nothing but silence. Instead of trying another round of verbal communication, he effortlessly grabbed your arms and picked you up.

“Ransom!”

He abruptly took your face in his hands. “They’re lucky they even get to be here. You’re not doing a single thing for these people.”

“Stop, okay? This is our house, we have to have these things—”

“No, you stop. Stop trying to do anything for them because no matter what, they’re going to complain.”

You glared. “Are you trying to help? Just go back to your stupid office and leave me be.”

He arched an eyebrow at you. “It is time for bed. I’m taking you to the room—”

“I’m just going to sneak out as soon as you leave for your office, so don’t waste my time or yours—”

He abruptly threw you up over his shoulder.

“Ransom!” you shrieked in absolute panic, he had never done this. Dragged you kicking and screaming? Yes. Literally pulled you along the floor by your legs? Yes. This? No, not once.

He was quick to get to the room, worried about how exactly you would react, what you were willing to do to make him drop you. He tossed you down on the mattress.

“You’re such an ass! I have to—”

He silenced you by pulling off his T-shirt.

So, he interrupted you because he wanted to have sex? After he had been withholding it? You feigned an unbothered expression. “Ransom, fuck off.”

He scowled. “Why did I have to find you? Why did life bring you to me? Personally, the meaningless fucking was fine for me, a lot less trouble.”

You scoffed. “Do you think I like being with you?! You’re the worst person I’ve ever fucking met, possibly the worst person on this fucking planet!”

He rolled his eyes. “Get on your knees.”

“You are not serious.”

“I am.”

“No, you’re seriously fucking insane, but you’re not serious in that you actually think that’s going to happen!”

“Get. On. Your. Knees. You can do it on your own or I can do it for you.”

You weighed your options. You wanted to have sex with your boyfriend, you wanted to be close to him. However, if he left you after you sucked him off, you might end up killing him. But what could you do? Ransom was apparently in a mood.

Whatever theatrics that were going to occur tonight were already planned, you realized. If he was going to walk away, he was going to walk away. No amount of arguing or any other behavioral tactics were going to change that. You would hit him, you were sure of that, but at least you could get back to making your home presentable.

You reached back for a pillow and gave him a challenging look. He arched an eyebrow at you as you slowly jumped off the bed, laid your pillow at his feet and got to your knees.

“The fuck is this? You suddenly a princess?”

“I’ve always been a princess,” you declared. “One day, a wonderful man or woman, who’s going to give me an even bigger house, is going to know it.”

He glared. “What the fuck is your problem? Do I need to start paying you to keep your mouth shut?”

You snorted. “You have money?”

And that was, apparently, a line crossed for Ransom. Furiously, without another word, he yanked his pants open and shoved them down with his boxers.

Instead of staring at his cock in front of your face, you looked up at him.

He sighed. “Y/N, suck my cock.”

You shrugged. “Why?”

He took himself in one hand and grabbed your hair in the other. He brought your mouth to the head of his cock and waited patiently. You did nothing, simply kept your gaze on him. Rolling his eyes, he pulled at your hair.

You attempted to keep your lips clamped but he continued yanking until you opened your mouth to cry out. Then, without hesitation, he shoved his cock down your throat. You gagged instantly, hands snapping up to shove at his thighs. He wouldn’t budge, he kept you there no matter how hard you tried to push him away—which, admittedly, since you were so wet, wasn’t very hard—or how many times you gagged.

His free hand touched your cheek. “You’re fucking beautiful like this.”

He could fuck off—as soon as he was done coming, you would walk away. You didn’t even want to be fucked by him anymore. But sadly, you had missed the taste of him, the feel of his skin on your tongue.

When he finally pulled you off his cock, you gasped for air. Then, once again, he was thrusting back in. You were choking on him, eyes watering, throat burning, drooling, sniffling, hands begging to be let up again with how hard they gripped his thighs.

But Ransom only let you off when he wanted. The second time, he allowed you to try to catch your breath. Your head was spinning since you were not quite getting oxygen back fast enough. You were blinking away those tiny black spots appearing behind your eyes. He used one hand to wipe away the tears on your cheeks and whatever was falling down your chin.

Then he was bringing you down once more. Holding you in place, he began fucking your mouth slowly, gently, two words that normally did not apply to Ransom. He took his time, he wanted you aching and craving him, and you really fucking were. You thought you wouldn’t feel a thing if he walked away after thing, but now, you knew you were going to set that office on fire if he tried it.

As he neared his end, he grew noisier. You liked that about Ransom, he didn’t hold back due to some insane fragile masculinity thing—no, that was often displayed in less conventional ways. He liked fucking you and he liked letting you know.

He picked up speed eventually, paying no mind to the sounds of you choking every time he thrust in a tad too hard. You didn’t even care, you knew you would be soaking wet, if you just reached down and felt…

He yanked you down when he was coming, buried deep in your throat, reveling in the feel of your throat moving around him, trying not to choke, trying to breathe. “Don’t make a mess, baby, swallow everything I’m giving you.”

You tried, really, you were not just playing your usual game of disobedience. But he really was choking you, so when you tried to swallow, things did not go according to plan. You gagged, nothing was swallowed. A mess you did create. On him, the floor, yourself, the pillow.

Ransom pulled you off and then grabbed your arm to haul you up. His hand still in your hair, he forced you to look up at him, bending your neck back almost uncomfortably. You were still struggling with lack of oxygen and just about fell into him completely, clearly being bratty was not on your mind.

He waited patiently, as if he wanted an explanation. No, you did not intend to do the opposite of what he had told you, but you weren’t about to let him know that. “Baby,” he cooed. His hand slid up from your arm to your neck where some of his cum was sliding down toward your chest. “What was what?”

“Out of practice, I guess. It’s been months since you’ve touched me.” Okay, it had just barely been two months yesterday, but if he could be dramatic, you were allowed as well.

He arched an eyebrow. “Considering you only need to say one word to me, I don’t think you really want it that bad.��

“You’re right, I don’t.”

His expression fell. He had hoped you would desperately blurt out an apology, clearly. Without another word, he shoved you onto the bed.

You stared up at him, face composed. “Don’t you have an office to be in?”

“You seem very jealous of that office, baby.”

“Why would I be? I finally get to be away from you.”

He leaned forward and grabbed your shorts and panties. The way he ripped them off you was damn near violent. You both wanted something rough tonight. “Then why is your pussy wet?”

You shrugged. “Couldn’t be for you. I can’t remember the last time you made me come.”

He leaned over, slowly crawling his way up your body.

Without prompt, you reached between your bodies and pulled your shirt over your head, arching a little more than necessary.

He took your forearms and pinned them to the bed. “Tell me how bad you need me.”

You shook your head. “I don’t.”

“I’m not joking.”

“I’m not joking,” you countered. “I. Don’t. Need. You.”

He took your jaw in one hand, forcing you to meet his stare. “Y/N, seriously.”

He really wasn’t joking, but again, neither were you. “Ransom, if you walk out before you fuck me, I will leave you. Do you understand me? I’ll fucking disappear, and you will never ever see me again.”

He smirked. “I understand.”

“I need you,” you breathed, free arm sliding around his shoulder, clinging tight. “I really fucking need you. I need you inside me. You know it’s been too long.”

Smiling like he just won the lottery, he rolled onto his side a little, turning your hips with him. “Yes,” he agreed. “Too long, baby, I’m sorry.”

You knew he wasn’t. You felt his tip at your entrance and you held your breath. He was a dick, yes, but you had been absolutely starving for his touch, his attention.

He pressed inside and it stung almost as bad as it had the first time. You turned your head away, hand pressed to your mouth to keep quiet. You hadn’t noticed your eyes were filled with tears until he touched your cheek and you blinked in surprise. You weren’t sure what you were crying about, the pain or the relief of finally feeling him.

You kept yourself turned from him, hoping he would just drop it. Of course, he wouldn’t. Of course, the one time you were willing to give Ransom a pass to be a complete ass, he wouldn’t want to take it.

“Sorry, baby girl,” he cooed. He had stopped, letting you adjust to him. However, Ransom didn’t have an ounce of patience and you knew his restraint was slipping. “I’m sorry, I’ll make it better.”

You also knew he wasn’t sorry. You squeezed your eyes shut until he was buried inside you. Feeling so full was something you had missed but feeling wanted was what you had been longing for. He could say the words, he could give you lingering looks when you were wearing a dress or a tight top, but it wasn’t the same. It didn’t convince you like when he just grabbed you and used you to satisfy every sick desire he had.

He grabbed your face and forced you to turn back but your eyes were shut. Instead of trying to get you to look at him, he kissed you. His lips moved over yours until you were finally curling into him, his arm wrapped around your back and pinned you against him.

Intimate, close, slow, but so fucking hard, that was how he made you come the first time. There were no words, just grabbing each other, gasping into the kiss, biting one another’s lips, tongue and teeth, scratching nails, pulling hair. He watched your face as you were coming down, hips still snapping up, fingers brushing along your cheeks.

He rolled onto his back and brought you with him. You hissed at the ache of this new angle, using your knees to pull off just a little. He took your hands and set them to the headboard. The way he stared up at you, like he was worshiping every inch of you, it made your skin burn.

“Ride me,” he ordered.

Hands gripping the bed, your hips began to roll. Ransom stared the whole time, where his cock was disappearing inside you, your moving breasts, your gorgeous, soft body. He used one hand to pinch your nipples alternatively and the opposite hand to focus solely on your clit.

You were breathless, shaking, chasing after that climbing high. You let the headboard go in favor of grabbing his hands, dragging them up to circle around your neck. As he began to apply pressure, you continued bouncing on his cock, unashamedly screaming now that he was stifling the noise.

Watching your eyes fill with tears, hearing those strangled sounds tear from your throat, it was enough to get him there as soon as your cunt started to tighten. He was coming with you, squeezing your neck tighter, so tight you tried to pull his hands off you.

But it was futile, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. He threw you down, rolling over so he was on top of you. You wrapped your legs around him, spreading your thighs and taking him in deeper.

He set one hand to the mattress to hold himself up but kept his other hand on your neck. He leaned over, forehead pressing to yours, breathing hotly against your skin. “Say it again.”

“Say what?” you choked out.

“You know.”

You always knew. He had only asked you for this one other time since you’d said it that first night. You stopped caring that he was probably never going to say it back. “I love you.”

His hips finally stilled. You weren’t sure what his response was going to be, but you knew what it wasn’t going to be. Yes, you’d stopped caring, but were you okay with it? You weren’t entirely convinced. But what were you going to do? Leave Ransom? That seemed highly unlikely.

So, you decided to speak before he could. “Even though you’re a fucking loser.”

He scoffed, shaking his head. “And I guess you’re hot enough to keep around even if that mouth annoys the hell out of me.”

That, you suspected, was as close as he was going to get to ever stating his feelings for you. “Are you going to let me get back to my list?”

He rolled his eyes. “No. Not done yet.”

You arched an eyebrow. “Really? You lasted, like, three minutes—”

He gave you a sharp look. “Must be my age, I guess I’ll need a minute before I can go again. But you, baby girl,” he grabbed one of your hands and brought your fingers up to his lips.

You watched closely as he kissed every knuckle before he brought your hand down and pressed your first two fingers to your clit. You shuddered. “Ransom, wait—”

“Since you like getting yourself off so much, you’re going to—”

You sighed. “Ransom, please—”

“And I’m going to watch until I’m ready to fuck you again.”

You pouted up at him. “You said it was time for bed.”

“I changed my mind.” He pulled your legs from around him and sat back to watch you. He pulled one thigh further from the other and gave you an expectant look. “I wasn’t asking, baby.”

For what felt like the first time in years, you were woken up by your boyfriend with his hand between your legs. You were laying on his chest, he was kissing the top of your head, tracing patterns along your spine and just barely teasing your clit.

All he needed to know was that you were awake and then had you pinned underneath him before you could say a word. Last night was nice but now the sun was shining through the blinds and you could see all of him. The freckles on his skin, the fine lines around his mouth because he does actually smile even if he doesn’t want anyone to know. And all his muscles—ugh.

“Good morning,” he said softly.

You smiled. “I have to get up and start getting ready.”

“No, baby. The only thing you need to do is open your legs so your boyfriend can fuck you like you deserve to be fucked.”

“Oh, deserve?” you scoffed. “I always deserve to be fucked. What changed your mind?”

He shrugged his shoulder. “Does it matter?”

Few things did when it really came down to your relationship with Ransom. It was all one huge give-and-take and neither of you shied away from taking advantage of that lack of communication.

He kept you there for nearly half an hour, insisting that you give him just one more finish, but he’d done that nearly four times. The reason you were able to escape was that there was someone at the door. As Ransom when to see who it was, you ran for the shower.

You were surprised when he joined you. One of your favorite things in your entire relationship was taking showers with Ransom, but it rarely happened. Whether that be because you were always on a time limit when you were getting ready or because he woke up later than you.

He wrapped his arms around your waist, chin resting on your shoulder.

“I miss taking showers with you, you’re warm.”

He turned to kiss your cheek. “You going shopping?” he muttered against your skin.

“Yeah, we don’t have anything either. We’re out of your favorite cookies, you know.”

He hummed. “Okay, just be safe. Wear a mask and try not to touch anything you don’t have to. Put everything in the back of your car, I put hand sanitizer in there so use it before you touch anything inside.”

You scoffed as you looked back, eyebrow arching. “You sound scared.”

He shrugged. “Well, you know… I just don’t want you to get sick.”

You smiled a little.

“Because I don’t want to have to take care of you.”

“Ugh, Ransom!” You brought your hand up to flick his forehead, but he caught your wrist and used the opposite hand to turn you around.

His arm slid across the small of your back and he picked you up to walk you to the shower wall. He pinned you against it completely, the shower head was almost directly over the two of you. Instead of attempting to watch him, you closed your eyes and pulled him into a kiss by his hair. He angled his hips up and easily thrust inside you.

Your mouth dropped and you gasped, he used that as his chance to bite down on your lip. You were sore between your legs, but the ache was a reminder that Ransom had put aside his pettiness because he had wanted you so badly. You brought your leg up to hook around his hip and used that as your leverage as you began to roll your hips.

He shuddered and bit harder on your lip still trapped between his teeth. He only let it go so he could turn down and press his mouth to your shoulder. “Slow baby, fuck me slow.”

You did as he directed. You slid off his cock and then slid back down, using all the restraint you could muster because you couldn’t wait until his broke. You couldn’t wait for him to grab you and take charge.

His hand slid between the two of you and he began pressing down on your clit, just slightly.

“I could kill you, Ransom,” you blurted out. “You better not ever go so long without touching me again.”

He nodded. “I promise, I will not.”

If you had a question about his tone, it died when his hands finally grasped your hips. “Tell me what you want.”

“Hard,” you pleaded. “So hard, please. I want to feel you all day, I want it to hurt until you’re inside me again.”

And goodness, did he make it hurt. He fucked you until you could no longer stand, until you weren’t able to coherently tell him that you weren’t sure you would ever be able to on your own again.

He had to set you on the floor of the tub when he knew it was time to get out. You weren’t sure why, and if you had been in a better mindset, you would have remembered the importance of always asking Ransom questions about his actions. However, all you could do was stay still, a little dizzy, vibrating pleasantly all over.

It somehow felt like hours but only seconds that he left you alone. When he was standing you back up, you still didn’t have the good sense to ask what the hell he was doing, but you absolutely melted when he pulled you from the shower and wrapped you up in a warm towel. A towel that had clearly just come out of the dryer—this man, that he could be so perfect and just chose not to be, deserved to be in jail. Yeah, the murder thing was a strike against him, you guessed, but this? Unforgivable.

When you got back home, there were several cars that you had never seen. Somehow, despite not getting an inheritance, the Thrombeys still knew how to make money. Which just made the whole Harlan thing even more annoying. Why all the dramatics? Rich people didn’t get poor the same way poor people got poorer. It was merely a showing of greed.

But you could not dwell on things like that, otherwise, this whole thing was going to go bad much quicker than you had suspected. You also couldn’t be the one that made it go bad. You weren’t an actual Thrombey or a Drysdale—and never would be since you fell in love with the least committal one of them all. You, despite extending your home and kindness, needed to be a lot more behaved than Ransom.

As you were bringing in the groceries, you glanced at the cars. There were five in total and you shuddered to think Jacob was driving. He was about that age, of course, but still, yikes. Meg and Joni probably showed up separately, which meant Donna and Walt did as well. Okay, weird, but you long ago stopped trying to guess why these people did what they did.

You wrestled with the front door for a moment and the noise of it brought in Joni and Meg. The older woman was completely decked out in crystals, unsurprisingly, you had just read an about how crystal shops were doing particularly well at this time.

“Hey, guys,” you greeted.

“Thank you so much for letting us stay here,” Meg immediately responded, taking some of the bags from your hands.

Joni followed her daughter’s lead. “Yes, honey, let us help you.”

Okay, suspicious. These people rarely did a thing that would constitute as the simplest of work—save for Meg, of course. “Thanks, but Ransom really should be helping me.” You gently pressed the door back with your leg, not shutting it completely but trying to keep the cold at bay. “Ransom!”

“He’s in the kitchen,” Joni informed.

“Great, we can head that way.”

On the walk there, you found Donna and Walt were in what was now one of many family rooms. They greeted you a tad overenthusiastically—regardless, you couldn’t stop, you’d just deal with it later.

“You didn’t need to go shopping for us,” Donna said.

“Oh, it’s fine,” you assured. “We needed a few things, I thought I’d get it done all at once so you guys wouldn’t need to worry about it.”

As if given a cue, they all began to thank you again. Again, you would need to deal with this when your arms were less full and there weren’t about a million bags in the back of your car.

You led the way to the kitchen, Meg and Joni on your tail. “Was the trip over here easy enough?”

“So weird,” Joni claimed. “People are literally going insane. I went to my usual crystal shop before I got here…”

Typical. She proceeded to tell you about how she had an “altercation” with a woman for a tiger’s eye finished into the shape of her animal spirit guide—which you were forgetting at the moment, a swan or something.

You stopped trying to recall those past conversations in case she quizzed you about what your animal was—she had stressed the importance of finding it and you promised you would the next time you saw her—when you saw Richard and Linda sitting at your kitchen table. Ransom was at the counter, a glass of whiskey in hand.

You merely glanced at them before turning to him. There were no words at all for the rage you felt at that moment. Joni had stopped speaking and was working to get the bags she’d taken from you onto a flat surface so she could grab the rest.

“Y/N!” Richard greeted. “Thank you so much for letting us stay here.”

You lifted your eyebrows at Ransom.

“She obviously didn’t know, Richard,” Linda pointed out. “Because she’s been trying to steal my son away since the day that she met him.”

You turned to her. “Are you—?”

“No, no, no,” Joni interjected. “She didn’t mean that!” She set the last of the bags down and touched your shoulder. “She’s joking!” She turned to Linda. “You’re joking, right?”

“Of course,” Linda claimed, unconvincingly with a smirk that you had come to recognize as smug. Not that you’d seen it much on her, but her son, on the other hand…

Speaking of Ransom, he looked beyond exhausted. Only, he wasn’t, he was just trying to convey that because it was clear that he didn’t intend to have this discussion with you. It never was a discussion, because, for some reason, he made all the excuses in the world for his mother and would obviously choose her over you.

Suddenly, in your mind, things all fell into place. Richard and Linda probably got here after all the others, the rest had been set to get there around noon. He’d kept you in bed to stop you from getting home before them because then you could keep them out of the house, you could have caused a huge scene. Now? It was clear that you were outvoted, the rest of the family probably would have thought of you as unreasonable if you kicked them out now.

Fine, it was all fine. You weren’t going to argue about this, not then. It would give Linda joy to see you have a complete meltdown. Ransom had already humiliated you enough by doing this completely behind your back, you weren’t going to give her anything else.

You turned to the counter to grab his keys. “Well, then you get to go back to the store.” You threw the keys at his chest, probably harder than you should have, and turned to head back out to your car.

It was silent until you exited the room, then Linda felt the need to voice her opinion no one asked for. “I’m just saying, I wouldn’t marry her. She’s shopping for essential items the day company was planned to arrive?”

You turned right back around but Meg was there to usher you back outside. She knew you needed a moment of fresh air and a moment away from Linda. Meg was a rather sympathetic person, she understood completely where you were coming from. In her mind, you were right and Ransom was so wrong for what he did, and Linda was wrong as well. But she also told you, this was how this family went. Linda was at the top now that Harlan was gone. If you sincerely wanted to be with Ransom—and she was confused about that—you would have to suck it up.

That much you agreed with, to an extent. It was clear that you were never going to be able to fix these people completely, but you were trying to create boundaries. Linda could not hit your boyfriend, her son. But how was she going to learn that if Ransom didn’t give a damn? She wasn’t.

You were suddenly wishing you’d accepted the invitation from your parents to stay with them until this all settled down. You had been too scared, however, because of the distance that seemed to be growing with Ransom. Now, you just felt like an idiot.

He lied to you. He did this behind your back, and he used intimacy to distract you from his plans, and that was absolutely disgusting. You couldn’t get over that. You felt used, by the one person you’re supposed to be able to trust more than anyone else in the world.

“Meg, can we have a minute?”

You turned away as soon as you heard Ransom off to your side. If you had a minute with him, you would probably murder him.

“Um,” she started, shifting awkwardly.

“It’s fine,” you assured. “Can you start putting away the groceries, please?”

“Yes, I will do that,” she eagerly confirmed. Meg liked to feel helpful, she often felt guilty about her privilege and wanted to be anything but another typical Thrombey. It was refreshing given all the other extreme personalities you would have to be living with for a while.

“I bought enough sheets for every single bed in the house for the next ten years,” you informed. “Those are fine. We’ll just need more food, probably—”

Ransom reached out for your arm, but you jerked away from him.

“Don’t touch me.”

“Hey—”

You finally turned to him. “I am not talking about this. You lied to me, you did this behind my back—”

“She’s my mom—”

“And I’m your girlfriend!” you hissed back. “And I am so fucking tired of this and you. Last night, you had sex with me to distract me so you could fucking sneak your parents in here. Who does that?!”

“That’s not why I had sex with you—”

“Really?” you demanded. No, you wouldn’t be having this talk, it wasn’t happening. Turning away, you sighed, “It doesn’t matter. I’m done talking to you about this, I’m serious. Do whatever the fuck you want, Ransom. That’s what you always do anyway. I’m done caring.”

“Look, we can’t be fighting with these people here—”

“You should have thought about that before you lied to me.”

“I didn’t lie—”

“I’m having a really hard time right now not running you over with my car,” you asserted, “So I’m going to go back inside. I just need you to go to the store for me, okay? Please, can you do one thing, literally, Ransom, just one thing to help me feel, like, 10% less stressed about all of this?”

“Okay. Yeah, I’ll go to the store.”

“Great.” You started to pull out more bags from the car.

“Can we talk about this later?”

“I don’t know yet.” Hell no, but you weren’t going to tell him that. With full arms, you stormed around him and back into the house.

Later, when he got home, he discovered that you had moved out of the bedroom. Yes, you had moved your shit to another room, locked it, and acted as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

April: the parents’ bedroom,

It was six in the morning, you had just failed at finishing your yoga routine due to your pounding headache. You’d thought a smoothie would make you feel much better, but see, that was with the condition that everyone else was still asleep.

Not the case.

Joni and Richard were currently in the middle of a debate about anti-maskers. Joni, surprisingly, given all her healing crystals shit, thought anti-maskers were idiots. Richard, on the other hand, believed this was a free country and people should have the right to choose anything and everything because “that’s America”.

You had a blender full of ingredients and when you finally got to turn it on, it was comparable to an orgasm. If only because you and Ransom were back to a no-touching arrangement. You could barely stand to look at him.

They seemed unbothered by the blender, their argument only getting louder. You went to the cabinet to grab some pills, anything that would make your head feel better. Could anything with these people? You weren’t overly optimistic about that prospect.

You took your place back at the blender, leaning down to fall into the pain of that instead of the politics conversation. They did this often. Last week, it was whether people should vote this November. Prior, it had been traveling bans, canceled events, whether unemployment should be giving people as much as they are. Linda and Walt interjected sometimes, even Meg because she couldn’t remain silent on a few occasions, but you, Ransom, and Jacob all but steered clear of it.

You felt a hand on your shoulder and stood up straight. You didn’t want anyone knowing you weren’t feeling well. Richard and Walt always acted like you were dying, Joni would start with her crystals and lectures about the importance of meditating.

Thankfully, it was just Ransom. He had been out, he was wearing a scarf, a heavy jacket, and his pale cheeks were flushed red. He nodded out of the room and you followed because silence seemed too tempting.

“What is it, Ransom?”

He narrowed his eyes. “I need a reason to speak to you?”

Your eyes fell shut and you pressed your fingers to your temples. He wasn’t being serious right now, was he? He wanted to have a conversation right now? You felt on the verge of death.

He touched your shoulder again. “Are you okay?”

“Just a headache. Not a big deal.”

“Not trying to be an ass—”

You opened your eyes. “But you’re so good at it.”

“I told you this was a bad idea.”

“Ransom,” you sighed, shrugging his hand off.

He caught you before you could turn away. “Hey.”

“Ransom, please, I don’t want to talk about this.”

“I don’t want to talk much either.”

You narrowed your eyes.

He shrugged. “You know I know how to make you feel better when you have a headache.”

You hummed. “Sex? Why? Are you trying to distract me again? Were you hoping I wouldn’t notice your inability to wake up at a reasonable hour for me, but how willing you seem to wake up at 5 in the morning to have coffee with your mommy?”

“I wasn’t asleep,” he insisted. “And she heard me come downstairs.”

“Yes, great cover. So convincing.”

“I do not wake up to have coffee with her every morning. I haven’t been sleeping well.”

You lifted your eyebrows. “Really?”

“Yes.”

“Good.”

He glared. “It’s because I hate sleeping without you.”

“You made me sleep without you—!”

“That was not what you think!”

You narrowed your eyes. “It wasn’t a temper tantrum over the vibrator?”

“No, okay, stop. We’re not going back, okay? No talk about the past, we need to talk about now. You’re the one that made me promise that I wouldn’t withhold sex—”

“I’m not withholding sex, Ransom, I just have no desire to be around you.”

He rolled his eyes. “Doubt that.”

“If you’re having issues sleeping, maybe you should ask your mommy to read you a bedtime story and—”

He pressed his hand over your mouth and started dragging you across the room.

Immediately, you started screaming at him. What the fuck? And you continued to do this until you realized he was leading you to Richard and Linda’s room. Eww, if you didn’t want to talk to him, you certainly didn’t want to talk to her.

But despite your struggling, he forced you into the room and slammed the door before you could escape.

“What the hell?” you demanded.

“This fight is over.”

“No, it’s not!”

“You’re being ridiculous.”

“I’m being ridiculous because I care about you? I’m done, I can’t do this anymore. My parents want me to stay with them and I think I should—”

His eyes widened at you. “This is your god damn house—”

“You clearly don’t think so! I had one condition, just one fucking condition. I wanted her to apologize for trying to physically assault you and somehow that makes me the villain in this situation?”

“That’s not what I’m saying—”

“You went behind my back, Ransom.”

“I’m sorry about that.”

Wow, was that an actual apology? It didn’t matter. One apology a month later was too small. “Look, it’s too late, okay? I’m exhausted and I just want to go home—”

“This is your fucking home!”

“No, it’s your mother’s fucking home and it always will be if you let her do whatever the fuck she wants!”

“She apologized!”

“Oh, please,” you scoffed.

He reached into his pants and yanked out his phone. Easily, he found one of the last texts that they had exchanged and turned it to you.

Don’t tell your psycho, fragile girlfriend but I am sorry. I shouldn’t have acted the way that I did. I understand that it was out of line, it will not happen again. Can we come over? You know I don’t want to be alone with your father.

It took three seconds to go from partially angry to very, absolutely, completely outraged. You smacked the phone out of his hand and it clattered to the hardwood floor. “I’m going to fucking kill you, Ransom!”

He threw his arms up. “For what?!”

“Why didn’t you fucking tell me this earlier?!”

“She would have known that I told you.”

“And?!”

“And,” he began, “I…don’t really know what I thought would happen.”

You shoved at his chest and he didn’t even have the energy to step back simply to make you feel better. He didn’t move an inch because you shoving him was like a cat trying to push a lion. “You are such a fucking mommy’s boy! I’m done with this whole thing, I’m done with you!”

“No, you’re not!”

“Yes, I am! You can’t make me stay here, you can’t make me—”

“You love me!”

Your eyes widened. He made you tell him you loved him, never said it back, and now he was using it against you? “You are dead! Do you understand me?! I’m going to run you over with your fucking Beemer! Then I’m going to get a new boyfriend and I’m going to let him fuck me in that stupid fucking car!”

He grabbed a handful of your hair and your hands flew back to scratch at his forearm. He shoved you back onto the bed and made the mistake of rolling over to attempt to get away from him. He grabbed both of your wrists and managed to get them into one of his hands, then yanked down your yoga pants.

“You are tearing them, you ass!”

And then he smacked your bare skin hard enough that it echoed, loud enough that you were sure anyone in the kitchen could have heard it. Your entire body burned with humiliation, but you loved the pain. How had you survived so long without him doing this?

“Shut the fuck up,” he ordered.

“Are you seriously trying to fuck me in your parents’ room?” you snapped.

“No, I am going to fuck you in my parents’ room,” he corrected. “What? You’re not into this anymore? This wouldn’t be the first time.”

“They sleep here,” you reminded. “This is weird given your obsession with her.”

“I changed the sheets this morning.”

“Are you fucking serious? You’re her maid now?”

He smacked you again and you pressed your face down to muffle your scream. “No, I just always knew that I was going to fuck you here today.”

You waited until the pain subsided before you turned your face, Ransom was still working the yoga pants down, a task that seemed impossible with only one hand. “Where were you today?”

“I had a meeting.”

“With whom?”

“None of your business.”

“Yes, it is my business, you fucking dick! If you’re not going to let me go home—”

He spanked you again, harder now, it seemed like an angry action, not just a retaliating one. “You are home, this is your fucking home and if you suggest otherwise again, I fucking swear—”

“What?” you demanded. “You’re going to tattle to your mommy?”

“I should fucking strangle you,” he growled, and before you could say anything, his hand was at your pussy. He scoffed. “You are seriously this wet? You have so many fucking issues.”

“One issue,” you argued. “You.” But that was a lie and he was more than right. You could hear him moving his pants out of his way and you were nearly shaking with the need to feel him.

Abruptly, he shoved his cock inside you and you both moaned as you adjusted around him. It was loud, obscenely loud, there was no question about what you two were doing, and you honestly didn’t care anymore. Had he gotten bigger? No, that wasn’t possible. You were pretty sure it wasn’t.

You felt him moving to tear off his coat. “Don’t you dare throw that coat on this floor, Ransom.”

But he did and he did it so eagerly, like he wanted to irritate you. The floors were hardwood, Linda had her dogs in the home, and their fur got everywhere on Ransom’s clothes. He hated you, you hated it because he just threw things away—didn’t even donate them because he’s such a beast.

Next, you felt his scarf around your wrists and started struggling.

“What the fuck are you doing?!”

“Shut up,” he snarled.  “You’re lucky I’m not fucking gagging you.”

As his hips began rocking just slightly, he grabbed your jaw and turned your head back. His lips found yours immediately and while you two were sharing a sloppy, unskilled kiss, he began driving his hips into you as hard as he knew you needed him to.

His skin was slapping against yours noisily, the bed was creaking, moving on those extra hard thrusts. He spread your legs out as wide as he could and held them there, fingers digging painfully into your skin.

Things became very clear to Ransom at that moment. You were underneath him, completely at his mercy since you were bound now. You were pouting, pretending that you didn’t like this, and he wanted to fuck that disobedience out of you. He sat back up, holding your hips as he kept steadily moving in and out of you. “I’m going to fuck your ass.”

You blinked once, twice. “What?”

He never pulled out, but he did lean over and start yanking on the drawers of one of the bedside tables.

“What are you doing?” No, he wasn’t going to actually…fuck you there. He’d never done it, he’d never even asked about it even though you brought it up a few times. He’d located your plugs that one time, he knew you were into it. But nothing. Why now?

“I know he has to have something,” he insisted.

“I don’t want to think about your parents like that.”

“Oh, no, just think of my dad like that,” he joked.

You shook your head. “Eww.”

“Oh, eww?” he checked. “Since when? You realize you can never talk about fucking him again, right? Looks like you’re going to have to provoke me in other ways now.”

“I didn’t mean ‘eww’ like that,” you claimed, “I meant ‘eww’ that your mom isn’t fucking him, and I definitely should be, because he totally deserves it for being such a great husband and father, but sadly, I’m here with you instead.”

“You’re such a fucking brat and—got it.” Ransom rarely moved fast, preferring to act like the cocky ass that he was, making it clear that he had all the time in the world to do whatever the hell he wanted. Because you were never going to say no. But now, he was acting like he was in a race.

Your body tensed up as soon as you felt the sharp cold against your skin. Ransom took his fingers and spread the gel over your skin, you gasped when you felt one of his fingers teasing your hole.

He did this a few more times, just making sure that you were properly prepped before his first finger dipped inside you. He set his free hand to your back when you tensed. “Relax,” he ordered. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” you assured. You’d done this in the past, liked it, but it had been a long time since.

He started pumping his finger in and out and you began to squirm. You were trying to stay still and quiet, trying to hide how good he was making you feel, but he knew. When you pressed your hips back, he added his second finger and you winced.

His fingers already had you feeling so full. That was what you loved most about being with Ransom, you felt almost incomplete whenever he wasn’t in you. Your body was made to take his, to mold to him completely.

“Here’s how this is gonna go, baby,” he began. “You’re going to start sleeping in our bedroom again. Because I am the only man on this planet who can touch you like this and you’re going to stop being such a brat and taking that for granted.”

You scoffed. You were taking him for granted? Of course, every day you didn’t wake up on your knees for him was probably ‘taking him for granted’.

“Yes?”

You nodded, cheek pressed to the mattress. You didn’t care about winning anymore, you needed to be fucked. You lifted your head to look back at him. “Yeah.”

He pushed his third finger as slowly as he could.

You kept your attention on him, watching as his fingers disappeared inside your ass. As he moved his fingers back and forth, he started to tilt his hips. You were hyperaware of everything, you knew where his cock and fingers were, the wall between your two entrances was thin enough that you could feel it all.

He always thought of you as an insatiable, greedy little thing but even he was surprised when you said you wanted more. You wanted his cock, not his fingers, and he figured you were ready for it because you were soaking his length and the sheets.

As he positioned himself over you again, he pulled his cock out of your pussy and you whimpered. He brought his cock up and spread the fingers inside your asshole to open you up for him. You had never experienced Ransom gentler than when he pressed just the tip of his cock into you. You observed in awe, mouth dropped, panting, desperate, soaking. You knew when you were going to feel him, but you were not prepared at all. His cock was bigger than any plug you had used and you were aching.

He groaned when his fingers were out and all that he could feel was you squeezing the hell out of him. “Fuck. Think you can get on your knees for me?”

You nodded but made no moves to do so. He did instead, lifting your hips, and then grabbing your upper arms to keep you there. You pressed your hips down, swallowing more of his cock, whining and moaning at the painful stretch of him.

“Fuck yourself,” he told you.

You were shuddering, body screaming at the uncomfortable angles you were moving. You pushed your hips up until you felt the head of his cock and settled back down until it felt like it was too much, over and over until he knew that your muscles weren’t capable of continuing.

“Almost there,” he promised, lips at your ear. “Almost taking all of my cock, baby.” He let his hands slide down a little, toward your elbows for leverage, and then he started thrusting. He was careful not to go too deep, listening to the sounds you made because words were not your strong point when he was inside you.

You leaned over a bit, unable to hold yourself up completely. You were hovering over the pillows, his hold on you tight enough that you weren’t worried about falling forward. You were practically choking on a scream when one of his hands moved around you to your clit, immediately feeling lightheaded.

You folded over more and Ransom released your arm to grab your hair. Since you weren’t strong enough to hold yourself up completely, he was yanking on the roots of your hair. Your thighs were quivering because you were using them as your only source of balance, and all of that distracted from the painful stretch of his cock driving into you more and more each time.

Your pleasure was slowly climbing. By the time you were coming, your pussy was dripping onto the sheets, you were sweating, shuddering, gasping for air that you couldn’t seem to get enough of.

And he was only halfway inside you. He shoved two fingers into your cunt and used his grip on your hair to shove your face down on the mattress. All his weight pressed down on you until you were flat on the bed, trapping his arm between you and the mattress.

He left you with some space to work, you rode out your high by fucking yourself on his cock and fingers. You were drowning in the sensations, overwhelmingly full of a man that you knew would eventually drive you crazy.

When your body fell limp, he released your hair and grabbed your hip, guiding you to another devastating orgasm. “You still doing okay, baby?”

For a moment, you could only respond with a moan. His thumb brushed over your clit and you gasped. “Daddy, please, please, please—!”

“You think you deserve it, baby?”

“Please make me come,” you begged.

He waited until you were finishing around his fingers and finally, shoved his cock in completely.

You buried your face in the bed, screaming, sobbing, crying his name. He brought his hand from your hip to your hair, petting and shushing you, and that was all you ever needed from Ransom.

He gave you only seconds before his hips were rolling, his fingers pumping in and out of you, thumb rubbing your clit. He paid no mind to you, he simply used your body, no matter how much you were shuddering and shaking from the aftershocks of your orgasm.

It was almost immediate that he pulled out after he finished and climbed off the bed to pull you with him. Your legs were shaking, but he held you tight to keep you up. He turned your back to him so he could watch his cum drip out of your ass.

When he turned you back to him, he gathered his cum from the inside of your thighs and ran his hand across your mouth. Fucked out, covered in him, you never looked more beautiful.

“This is your home,” he told you. “If you say it isn’t again, you won’t be able to walk for a very long time. Understood?”

You shrugged. “I’m not sure I’m convinced yet.”

Ransom tossed you onto the bed like you weighed nothing and went to the door just to lock it. Was it weird that you thought you might get something out of Linda pounding on the door while her son was absolutely pounding you?

May: the anniversary,

It was Linda and Richard’s anniversary and that meant that everyone living in the house had to celebrate because the Thrombeys were starting to face withdrawals from not receiving enough attention from others.

Joni and Walt had decided to cook dinner that night and it surprisingly did not end in disaster. There were some presents, the family was trying their hand at online shopping and as the days ticked by, more and more packages were showing up every day.

The night was ending with a game of charades, something you and Ransom elected not to take part in beyond watching. The first team was Meg, Walt, and Richard. The second team was Joni, Linda, and Donna, and Jacob was the referee. They needed one, every single game because they were oddly competitive and whenever things got too aggressive, they were given a card, from green to red. Red meant disqualification, you’d only seen it happen twice in all these years, but it was great when it did happen.

You couldn’t help but watch Richard and Linda. They’d been married for so long now, so you didn’t understand why Richard had had his affair when he did. She wasn’t overly young, she had no money, it just didn’t make much sense to you.

You were on Ransom’s lap in the chair in the corner of the room. He had been drinking all night, so you chose not to. You guys were a better team when you were coordinating like that. He was always weird about his parents, you figured that was why he’d been off all day.

“Do you think you could ever forgive someone if they cheated on you?” he asked.

You turned to him, eyebrow arched. “I would murder you.”

He scoffed. “Come on, be serious.”

“I am being serious, Ransom.”

“If I were going to cheat on you, I would have already done it. I meant in a general sense.”

“I don’t think you love someone if you cheat on them,” you reasoned. “So, would I forgive? Maybe, I guess, whatever that even means. But would I stay? Hell no.”

“Right?”

“You talking about your parents?”

“It’s so weird, isn’t it? I mean, not really. Men are men and don’t they all eventually cheat?”

“You are playing with fire having this conversation with me.”

He scoffed. “I just don’t get it, why would she stay?”

“I don’t know,” you admitted. “It seems like you all have your, like, comfortable environments. You don’t really want to leave them…at least she gave him that killer black eye.”

“Yeah,” he recalled with a small smile. “But…I don’t know, I don’t completely blame him, either.”

“Ransom,” you warned.

“No, I’m not saying it’s my mom’s fault, but…she doesn’t exactly love him either. Maybe he thought she used to.”

“Maybe she did.”

“Yeah, maybe…I don’t know, if you’re blackmailing someone essentially—”

“She’s not blackmailing him.”

“He has no money,” he insisted. “He’s terrified. She holds it over him constantly.”

“Ransom, right now, choose. Me or money?”

He turned to you. “No hesitation, I would choose you.”

You were almost surprised to hear that, you thought…you had always thought you were Ransom’s second love, honestly.

“What? Were you expecting something else?”

“I don’t know.” You didn’t want to make him think you thought so low of him. It was a pretty vile accusation.

“You do, that’s fine…because I do believe that if we didn’t have money, it would tear us apart.”

“No, it wouldn’t,” you argued.

He arched an eyebrow at you. “You love your diamonds and this house. And I like spoiling the hell out of you… I know those are simple things, but to have to work for things? We couldn’t make it.”

“Well, he obviously wasn’t that scared, or he wouldn’t have cheated. That was my point. You’re acting like money is the most important thing, if it was, he wouldn’t have risked it.”

“True. I don’t know if I would be able to deal with it.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck and laid your cheek against his. “Ransom, baby, you’re jealous of inanimate objects and you once fucked me every day for a week and didn’t let me come because you thought I was talking to my ex.”

“It depends how it started, that’s all I’m saying. People aren’t perfect, you know.”

“I am,” you declared.

He scoffed. “You let me fuck you while you were dating that ex.”

“You coerced me,” you argued. “I was innocently in my own room and you just showed up—”

“So, you’re saying I seduced you?”

You rolled your eyes. “Can we go to bed? I don’t think there are going to be any fistfights tonight.”

“I’m sorry, baby, I know you were looking forward to that.”

“A bit,” you admitted.

“I’ll tell you about the time my mom tackled Joni at my high school graduation.”

You gasped. “I love when you tell me stories.”

Ultimately, things had gone back to normal with you and Ransom. He was sleeping with you more nights than not, he was in his office much less, things seemed to be in a much better place.

June: the affair,

Until June rolled around.

Then all his office shit started up again, the late nights, the insane number of hours. You tried to be understanding, but then he was abandoning you at family dinners and there was the time some moron rear-ended you and you had to call Walt because Joni and Meg weren’t picking up their phones because it was five in the morning, and Ransom wasn’t either because Ransom wasn’t a reliable boyfriend.

He had been apologetic, and you were just relieved that it had been an overall easy situation, so you didn’t hold it against him. Not until you had to borrow his phone to call yours because you had once again misplaced it. You were, once upon a time, a very organized, together person. Then the Thrombeys moved into your home.

You saw dating apps. Dating apps! On his fucking phone. You had no idea how to react, so you just didn’t. You made the mistake of letting everything grow, everything just pile on top of one another until you were at your breaking point.

Linda liked to poke at you and normally, she couldn’t. Because normally, Ransom was around. Because Ransom knew how his mother was and he knew how you were, and he just didn’t want anyone to end up dead.

That changed one morning when you were making pancakes and she came in for her early morning coffee. She asked where Ransom was and that was really the start of it because she did know. She found it hilarious that Ransom had his own office and never let anyone else in. She hated that she wasn’t allowed in but was placated that you weren’t either.

But you told her where he was anyway because you were attempting to be civil. She pointed out how much time he was spending in his office and you pretended it was common, she then asserted that that was how Richard was behaving during his affair.

And honestly, why hadn’t you thought of it before? He had to be having an affair, you always heard him typing in his office. He was clearly on some website, probably some BDSM chatroom, and you were going to fucking kill him.

It all made sense now, last month when he’d asked you if you would forgive cheating. That was just Ransom being Ransom, he was trying to guess your reaction if you ever found out. Well, you hadn’t been exaggerating, you would kill him.

You stormed up to the office and started pounding on the door. The rest of the family was going to hear you, but they were smart enough to know they better just mind their own business in their rooms.

“Ransom!” you yelled after minutes of no answer. Again, you were met with silence and that was when your irritation became fury. “Ransom, I will kick this fucking door down! You know these doors are old and weak and I can do it!”

Long story short, the doors were stronger than you thought, and you could not do it. The low point of your life was probably having to crawl to Meg’s room and ask her to call their super-expensive home doctor because you had done something terrible to your foot.

Ransom showed up three hours later after you had been all wrapped up and the family was fawning over you. You were being forced to sit on the couch and they would not stop asking you if they could get things for you. You were already wearing three different crystals, Walt had made you hot chocolate, and Jacob was checking his horror movie collection for your favorites.

“What the hell happened?” Ransom demanded.

You glared at him. “Where were you?”

“I was out for a walk.”

“And you didn’t take your phone?” Richard pressed. “We were calling you non-stop.”

“I left it up in my office,” he informed, moving to your side. “Are you okay? What happened?”

“She tried to kick down your office door,” Linda answered.

Ransom gave you an incredulous look. “I’m sorry?”

“You should be,” you retorted. You never argued in front of the family because you and Ransom were a team. Yes, you fought, but you never wanted to give the family insight on the cracks in your relationship because you knew they would exploit them.

“Enough,” Meg cut in. “No arguing, Dr. Fields told her to take it easy.”

“You had to call the doctor?” he questioned. “What did you do?”

“Fracture,” Linda informed, “Not that big of a deal. Please, continue arguing.”

Everyone else glared at her while you and Ransom glared at one another. It was then that Jacob reappeared with one of the Saw movies. Typically.

August: the book,

You had taken to sleeping in Meg’s room with her because Ransom was a demon, but he wouldn’t try to enter her room. Ever. So, you comfortably stashed yourself away there every night and stayed there most mornings until noon. She didn’t mind. You’d gotten her a tv in there, so you watched Netflix a lot.

You had yet to confront Ransom with your accusations because you were scared. This family was obscene, being part of it was insane, every single person here was terrible in their own right. But you liked talking to Meg, you liked gardening with Joni, you liked reading the newspaper with Walt in the mornings and talking about the crime section. Even Jacob wasn’t the worst company, he liked to watch Dateline with you.

Ransom was convinced that you were just mad at him because you fractured your toes and couldn’t do yoga for a while. You were fine with him believing that because then you would have to have the conversation.

It was an odd situation to be in. You were sure he hadn’t physically done anything, but you weren’t sure if that should make you feel better or worse. He was connecting with someone and after your conversation, it was clear that he also believed you couldn’t cheat on someone you love. Given that he’d never said he loved you, you were rightfully concerned.

Did he ever love you?

Did you just spend almost 7 years with someone who was never going to feel that way about you? Did you throw away all those opportunities with someone else? Did you stupidly choose Ransom over your family?

Did you let this happen?

You had said you couldn’t forgive it, but now you understood why Linda did. If you love someone, you just don’t want to lose them. You hope that they don’t betray you, but what about when they do? It’s not easy to just leave.

You still loved Ransom, you always would. You didn’t want to lose any of the relationships you formed with the family, but it was different with Ransom. You didn’t want to, obviously, but you also couldn’t. You couldn’t imagine a life without him, you couldn’t imagine moving on, you couldn’t imagine being with someone else.

What did that mean?

You weren’t sure about the long-term answer, but short-term, it meant that you were going to pretend. He wasn’t cheating, he didn’t have dating apps on his phone, he didn’t even have an office as far as you were concerned.

Nothing. Everything was perfect.

Until Jacob’s birthday. You weren’t aware of it before, but unsurprisingly, he was a fucking Leo. You made a mental note to investigate the astrology of certain serial killers Jacob reminded you of, but you would do that with Meg later.

You were helping Walt and Joni cook this time. Apparently, they were the only Thrombeys that knew how to cook and were pleased to have another addition to the small team. It wasn’t a particularly difficult meal, lasagna with garlic bread, but it was Jacob’s favorite.

The plans had been made the week prior, Ransom was going to do one thing for you. Just one, you asked for so little. He would pick up the cake at noon and hide it in the second kitchen. Hide because Jacob wasn’t aware this was happening. He didn’t like to be the center of attention and if he knew this was happening before it was actually happening, he would do anything he could to stop it.

But come 2 PM, three hours after the cake was set to be picked up, you received a call from the bakery. You had let them know that your boyfriend was going to pick it up and you left his name with them and everything, all Ransom needed to do was show up.

The woman on the phone informed you that that didn’t happen, and they were about to close because of pandemic hours. You promised you would be in before she needed to shut the doors and since you were comfortable with your window of time, this was done. Over. First, you were going to yell at Ransom.

You quietly made your way to his office and listened with your ear pressed to the door. You didn’t make a sound until you heard him typing, then you started banging on the door with both hands.

It was seconds later that he answered the door, a confused look on his face over your apparent urgency. He looked like he’d pulled an all-nighter and smelled like a lot of alcohol. “What?”

“What the fuck, Ransom?”

“What? What do you need?”

You tried to open the door, but he held it in place.

“What the hell are you doing?”

You were getting into that office because you were going to find out what he was doing, he was not going to continue to lie to you. You kicked his shin and when his leg buckled, you shoved your way in.

“Hey!” He hurriedly shut the door behind you. He did not want anyone else getting in.

It looked like a normal office. There was a full bookshelf of titles that you couldn’t read because your anger was blurring your vision, there was a desk, a laptop, chairs, a bar cart, not a thing out of the ordinary. What the fuck was he doing in here all day?

There was only one logical answer. You finally turned to him, hands on your hips. “Who is she, Ransom?”

“What?”

“I know you’ve been cheating on me and I’m not going to play this game with you! I just want to know who the fuck she is!”

“Are you out of your mind?!”

“Yes, I’m out of my fucking mind! I’ve been living with your psychotic family since March, dealing with their shit on top of yours, and you are now cheating on me! Please explain to me how anyone else wouldn’t also be out of their mind!”

“I’m not cheating on you!”

“Really?! Then what the fuck are you always doing up here?”

He paused at that.

The camel’s back broke. This was officially over. You turned around and rushed to his computer. He only took a second before he realized what you were doing and followed you there.

“I swear to everything above, if you are in some pathetic chatroom—”

He leaned over you just as you reached for the laptop and slammed it shut. “I’m not cheating on you!”

“Then let me see your fucking laptop!” You didn’t care that he had his hands planted on it, you still grabbed the opposite ends and tried to pull it out from under him. It wasn’t a logical plan since he was much stronger than you, but you weren’t necessarily operating on logic.

“You are crazy,” he asserted.

You moved your hands to the top edge of the laptop and threw your entire body back into Ransom. More than anything, it probably shocked him into moving back. Had you known that it was going to work, you probably would have been better about keeping your footing. Since that wasn’t the case, you both ended up on the floor and for a split second, the laptop was only in your hands.

You dove forward, just inches from the door.

Ransom rushed after you, grabbing your leg to pull you back down.

You knew he was going to get you under him, you wrapped your arms tight around the laptop and started screaming. Joni or Richard might feel inclined to call the police if they thought the two of you were honestly fighting.

Ransom slammed his hand down on your mouth as he crawled over you, knees pressed to your hips to keep you pinned there. “What the hell is wrong with you!?”

You didn’t say a word and you didn’t let your hold on the laptop waver for even a second.

“If I move my hand, you better not scream again,” he warned.

Obviously, you were going to. As soon you could, you yelled, “Call the police, he’s going to kill—!”

Ransom covered your mouth again, eyes wide at you. “You have lost it!”

It was then that you realized you needed to do something. He had the upper hand, and he was going to get the laptop away from you if you did nothing. You started swiping at him with both elbows and knees, never catching anything, but making him nervous enough to back off a little.

Fuck it, he was done trying to be reasonable with you. He moved his hand again, but only to start fighting with you over the laptop again.

“Let it go!” you shrieked.

“You let it go!” he countered. “It’s mine!”

“Not anymore, cheater!”

“I’m not fucking cheating on you!”

“If you have some online BDSM girlfriend, I’m going to fucking kill you!”

“What? What the hell goes through your mind!?”

“You’re constantly in here and you won’t let me in, and you never tell me what you’re doing, you never tell anyone else either—”

“Because I hate my family,” he reminded.

“And clearly, you hate me!”

“I don’t hate you, you’re being childish.”

“Tell me her name, Ransom, or so help me—”

“I’m not cheating!”

“I saw the dating apps on your god damn phone!”

“I am not cheating!”

“Then what are you doing?!”

“I’m writing a book!” he hissed.

You froze. He was what?

He kept his voice quiet, “That’s where I was a couple months ago, the meeting that I told you was none of your business. I only had a few chapters, but I got a deal out of it—”

“Get off me.”

He blinked in surprise and then hurried to do so, helping you up, no longer interested in stealing away the laptop.

You held onto it because you weren’t yet sure if you were going to use it to cause severe bodily harm to him. He was writing a book and didn’t tell you? You didn’t know he was interested in writing at all. You didn’t know he could sit down and write more than one entire sentence. He was always moving around, throwing himself into mindless activities.

A book?

You were hurt. Getting a book deal was major and he didn’t tell you he was trying for it, but then he didn’t even tell you that he’d gotten it. He had this huge thing in his life that he kept separate from you and that hurt your feelings.

“That’s was the apps were,” he explained. “I was doing research. Honestly, I’ll let you see the profiles, they’re not even pictures of me. I haven’t spoken to anyone either, it’s just very basic—”

You held the laptop out to him.

He slowly took it back from you, preparing for any other extreme reaction you might have. What he wasn’t expecting was complete silence, he figured you must have been confused by this. It was rather sudden, even for him. “You going to say something?”

You debated for a long while. You wanted to ask why he was pushing you away. You wanted to ask if it was because he didn’t think you were supportive, if he just didn’t want you to know, then you wanted to know why that was. What had you ever done that made him think he couldn’t tell you about this?

“I have to go get Jacob’s cake.”

“Shit!” He ran his hand down his face. “I completely forgot—”

“Don’t worry about it.” Then you were rushing out, ignoring the curious looks from the family on the way.

October: Ransom’s birthday,

It had been seven weeks since you found out about the book and seven weeks since you last had an actual conversation with Ransom. That was your doing purely, and he made the attempts, but you ignored them.

Linda was thrilled. This was different than when you and Ransom were fighting, because fighting indicated that you had the desire to win, he had the desire to win, but then that meant a resolution would follow. If you were ignoring him, what did you want? She hoped it was the end of the road for the two of you.

You weren’t sure. About anything. But you just had to go day by day and listen to yourself. Up to now, you weren’t sure what you wanted to do. As time went on and you were left to wallow in your hurt feelings, you were wondering if maybe this was the end.

Seven years and he didn’t tell you he was writing a book? That was insane, that was inexcusable. You didn’t get to have any part of your life not completely exposed to Ransom and you were okay with that. Obviously, he didn’t feel the same.

Seven years, a nearly dead modeling career, no skills, no aim in life. You had no idea how you would start all over. You had no idea how you would live your life without being Ransom’s girlfriend. It was practically a title, like the queen, and you loved it. You loved him.

But he didn’t tell you about the book! How could you get over that? Well, you could talk to him, but you were not going to do that. You just weren’t ready because you would want to know why and all the answers that were playing out in your mind were not going to make you feel better.

It didn’t matter, or more correctly, it couldn’t matter. Ransom’s birthday was coming up and Linda was trying to fight you on everything.

It was October, the worst of the pandemic was over, wasn’t it? No, you didn’t think so and anyone with two solid IQ points wouldn’t either. She wanted some family over, some of his friends—Megan, you had heard her mention to Richard. You didn’t want a single person in your house, no one outside of the family.

She suggested going to a restaurant then, but you knew Ransom hated when they threw him parties like that.

She wanted him to have a red velvet cake and you knew that Ransom hated red velvet. He preferred lemon, but he told you that you were never allowed to get him a lemon cake because he would eat it all. He was fine with chocolate, didn’t hate it, didn’t love it.

If you weren’t going out, then she wanted catering from his favorite restaurant, and a minimum of 30 people over, the house was big enough for it. It wasn’t even his favorite restaurant, the one she wouldn’t stop talking about, you knew for a fact Ransom did not like 30 people, and the house was not big enough for it.

On top of all of that, she kept asking you what you were going to get him. She just didn’t want to get the same thing. Why would that happen? Why would she get him the same thing as you? You had no idea, but she insisted on knowing. Problem was, you didn’t have an answer to give her. You had no idea what you were going to get Ransom.

Three days before his birthday, Ransom found you on the floor of the kitchen with an icepack pressed to your forehead. It was three in the morning, you had most of the lights off, only your phone and laptop providing light. Even in the dim kitchen, he could tell that you had been crying, eyes puffy and red, tear tracks down your cheeks.

He had been in his office, more writing. He’d only come down for a glass of water, sure that no one else would be awake at such an odd hour. This was the first time in a long time that he had seen you alone, and this naked. Usually, you were surrounded by the family, Joni being the greatest culprit. And since you still weren’t sleeping in the bedroom, he hadn’t seen you in your tiny shorts and bralettes.

He sat down at your side, setting his hand on your thigh. “Hey, is everything okay?”

You tossed the icepack onto the floor. “I never got stress headaches before your family moved in.”

“Yeah, I noticed that.”

It was silent for several moments after that, you were thinking about how you wanted to approach this topic. It was clear now, in your mind, why he hadn’t told you about the book. “I never listen to you.”

He turned to you, eyebrows pulled together. “What?”

You were already crying again, tears rolling down your face. You had felt terrible these past few weeks and you were finally beginning to understand why. “I don’t listen, I’m a terrible listener.”

“No,” he protested. “You’re not a terrible listener—”

“I have no idea what to get you for your birthday. I never know, I never get you a good present.”

“Yes, you do,” he argued. “And you don’t need to get me anything—”

“Of course, I do!” you blurted out. Was he insane? This was his birthday, you couldn’t not get him something for his birthday. “This is why you didn’t tell me about the book, right?”

His eyebrows shot up. “What?”

“Because I don’t listen,” you explained. “Why would you tell me about it if I wasn’t even going to listen, right?”

“Baby,” he sighed, “That’s not why I didn’t tell you. I wasn’t trying to keep it from you, honestly—”

“You didn’t tell me you were writing, you didn’t tell me you were trying to get published, and then you didn’t tell me about the book deal.”

“I know…I was going to.”

“But?” you prompted. “How could you not tell me about any of it?”

“I was worried.”

“Why?”

“Because of fucking Harlan. He’s the world’s best mystery author, for whatever fucking reason. I was worried that you wouldn’t think I should do this. I was worried about how it would look. I don’t want to follow in my grandfather’s footsteps like the rest of my pathetic family.”

“So, were you just never going to say anything about it?”

“Well…maybe. There’s something else… I wasn’t sure I was going to use my name, so it was completely possible that I could keep you from ever finding out about them. And if you ever got suspicious, maybe publish a few of the others under my real name.”

“Others? What are you talking about?”

“So…my book deal is for, at the very least, three books. In a series. If they do well, I can do others, with the possibility of keeping this series going…whenever I feel inspired to do so.”

“Okay…what’s the series about?”

“A woman.”

You narrowed your eyes.

“A very mean woman,” he clarified. “She’s a black widow, you know, marries rich men, murders them, takes the money…and I’ve sort of been using your name.”

Your eyebrows slowly rose. “You’ve been writing about me?”

“No,” he immediately protested, then sighed. “Okay, a little, but she’s beautiful. I mention that a lot, I promise.”

Yes, you were relieved. But was he completely off the hook? You slapped his shoulder. “Are you serious?”

“Hey,” he held his hand to the skin that you had just smacked. “Ow, maybe don’t hit me just days away from my birthday if you didn’t get me anything.”

“God, Ransom, I was really hurt.”

“I’m sorry about that. Really, I know I rarely ever apologize and sometimes, I don’t mean it, but I mean it now.”

“Well, can I read some of it?”

He smirked. “I don’t know, baby girl, you haven’t been behaving lately. You tried to break into my office, hurt yourself, and then did break into my office to steal my laptop. You thought I was cheating on you.”

“I saw dating apps, Ransom.”

“After we talked about my parents—”

“You lock yourself in your office for, like, 20 hours at a time—”

“And some BDSM chatroom? Because you’re normal in bed?”

You rolled your eyes. “Look, I’m sorry for accusing you of cheating, but you should have told me about the book. Which you apologized for, so it just cancels out. Let’s do what we usually do and just pretend it never happened.”

“You told Joni to call the cops,” he reminded.

You shrugged. “I miss Wagner, he probably would have been over here immediately.”

He snorted. “Okay, we both made mistakes, but you’re right.”

With his agreement to move on, you climbed onto his lap and wrapped your arms around his neck. “Please?”

“I’m not completely convinced yet,” he teased.

Rolling your eyes, you kissed him. “Now?”

“You’re getting closer.”

You scoffed and kissed him again, reaching into his sweatpants to pull out his cock. It didn’t take long to get him hard and as soon as you did, you used your other hand to pull your shorts aside. You broke away from the kiss to watch his face as you slowly slid down his length.

His hands gripped your hips and he nodded. “Yeah, you can have whatever you want.”

You smiled. “Perfect, let’s get it now.”

He snorted. “Wow, now you’re a fucking comedian?”

“Well, you’re an author,” you retorted.

He nodded once. “You have a point. I vaguely remember what I wrote, want me to tell you?”

You nodded. You wanted to hear it in his voice, you were going to demand that he read it to you anyway.

“Her first husband was a writer,” he informed.

You lifted your eyebrows. Was that supposed to be clever?

“He often wrote poetry about how devastatingly beautiful he found her.”

You rolled your eyes a little, turning down to stare at his chest. He was wearing a shirt, but you could still see the muscles through the white material. “How did she kill him?”

“Scared him to death, she is very scary.”

You bit your cheek to prevent a smile.

“His fault, though. He was never healthy, did a few drugs he shouldn’t have. Drank too much, never ate right. He had a weak heart anyway.”

You hummed.

He wrapped his arm around your back and rolled you over onto the floor underneath him. He pulled your thighs apart before placing both hands on the floor for balance. Slowly, he pulled out and drove back in hard.

You gasped his name, arms winding tightly around his torso.

“He loves her skin,” he asserted.

You nodded encouragingly, you wanted him to tell you everything. “Mhm.”

“Loves how soft she is, especially her thighs, and he loves how she bruises.” He was steadily rocking his hips, speaking just loud enough that you could hear him over the wet noises of his cock sliding in and out of your body, but quiet enough that you were sure no one else would hear.

You reminded yourself you were downstairs, on the kitchen floor, it was important to remain quiet. Ransom’s family had caught you in a lot of low moments over the years, but this would take the cake. You turned your head, burying your face in the bend of his neck.

“He loves her neck, how perfectly it fits in his hands. He loves her lips, how they look wrapped around him, or when she’s smiling—”

“You wrote that?” you breathed.

“This isn’t some school-book-report shit like what Harlan was publishing.”

“Those weren’t children’s books,” you felt inclined to point out.

“Well, mine have sex.”

You snorted. “You’re going to write about other men fucking me?”

“A woman here and there,” he explained. “That’s why they have to die such horrible deaths.”

You laughed briefly, pressing your mouth to his shoulder when you worried you would moan.

“He loves her legs, how tightly they wrap around him.” As he spoke, he lifted your legs one at a time, pressing them to the sides of his body as a cue to hook your ankles together. “He loves her arms, how easily he can pin them above her head.” Again, he did just that and you were forced to lay flat on the floor, clamping your mouth shut to stifle the noises spilling out.

After managing to get both wrists in one hand, he placed his opposite forearm off to your side and set all his weight there. You could feel it in the way he got heavier against your hips, trapping you between him and the floor, controlling every aspect of how he was going to make you come.

He stared down at your face for a moment, watching you struggle to keep your composure as he was fucking into you harder now. He leaned down and your eyes fell shut, he kissed over both eyelids and said, “He loves her eyes, even when she’s looking up at him, demanding something, a new diamond necklace, a car, but won’t actually say the words because she’s so fucking spoiled.”

You smirked and he felt it, and his hips snapped up harshly to get it to stop. It only worked for a moment. You were smug, Ransom was pouring his heart out to you and confessed that he liked that you were spoiled? You would never let him live this down.

“He loves her cheeks,” he started kissing across your face and you couldn’t help but smile, “Especially when she’s doing that.” He stopped to pay special attention to your nose, “And he loves her nose, even though she hates it. And he loves when she pouts,” he lowered his mouth to give you several chaste pecks, until you were pouting because he wouldn’t just kiss you.

With a scoff, he finally let you kiss him back. It didn’t last long before he was on the move again, pressing his lips to your chin and proclaiming the fictional character’s love of that, then your jaw, your clavicle, and once he tore your bralette out of the way, your breasts.

As he continued to move down, he was sliding his cock out by the inch and you were trying to stop him from getting too far, you were desperately pulling at him with your legs, but Ransom was much stronger than you.

“He loves her stomach,” he muttered into your skin as he descended and finally, his cock slipped out. Because of that, he had to let your wrists go but you knew better than to try to move them.

“Ransom, please—”

“And he loves her hips.” As he pulled down your shorts, he kissed the skin he exposed, almost frantically alternating between left and right. Once the shorts were down, he spread your thighs and looked up at you. “And he fucking loves her pussy.”

You let out a strangled, high-pitched sound as he dove down and wrapped his lips around your clit. He stared at you the entire time as he sucked for a few seconds, then flicked his tongue back and forth, only to repeat the pattern until you were crying and squirming, staying in the position he had placed you in.

When he knew you were close, he pulled back. He only set small kisses to your aching center, hands moving up and down your hips, your stomach, your thighs. “He loves how sweet it tastes, he loves how fucking tight it is, how it feels like his cock was made to be inside it—”

“Ransom, please,” you blurted out. Your arms were stinging with the desire to reach down for him, but you knew that would change the path of this entire night. You just needed to be fucked. Simply. Intimately. None of the elaborate shit you both usually tried.

In seconds, he had made his way over you and was inside you again. You wrapped yourself around him, arms and legs, and held onto him tight enough that you were sure he wouldn’t be able to get away again.

“He loves every fucking inch of her,” he stated. “Because she’s his, she belongs to him and she’s never going to belong to anyone else.”

You scoffed. “But she kills him?”

“Well, she’s a complex woman.”

You rolled your eyes. “I’m not complex.”

He arched an eyebrow.

“I just want you and this house, and I want all of this shit to be over so we can get rid of your family.”

He kissed you shortly. “That makes two of us, baby.”

There was a difference between loving something about someone and truly being in love with someone. You’d always loved things about Ransom, but it took you about a solid year to confidently admit that you were in love with him. He could say that he loved everything about you, but that was not him finally saying it.

“Does she love him?” you wondered.

He shrugged a shoulder. “He thinks so.”

“Does he love her?” This wasn’t asking for too much. Ransom could hide behind this fictional creation of his and say yes, and you would never ask again. You just wanted to hear it once, that wasn’t unfair.

He considered his answer for a long time, breaking eye contact to look down at where his fingers were hovering over your shoulder. He began to trace shapes there, still contemplating. “Sometimes…she thinks so.”

“But does he?” you pressed.

Again, more silence. He was trying to gauge what he could get away with. He always knew this was going to wear on you eventually, but he never thought it was going to be during one of the times he was inside you. How could you not feel how he felt about you? “I think—”

“Are you fucking serious!?”

You immediately knew whose voice that was—Linda. Shutting your eyes, you let your head rest back on the floor. The headache you had been crying over earlier was returning.

“RICHARD!” She turned out of the kitchen and began storming back to her room. “Richard, wake up! You need to talk to your son! Is there no place in this house anymore that is sacred?!”

Ransom sighed deeply and you looked up at him. “Well, do you want to make you come first before we go upstairs?”

You shrugged. “Okay. Hurry up, we don’t have to be quiet anymore.”

November: thanksgiving,

Ransom was on his best behavior, you theorized that was because he didn’t want you to again ask him for more of that insane basic human emotion. Whatever, you could not dwell. There were people dying in this world, and you wanted to waste time crying over your boyfriend who gave you everything you wanted, but just wouldn’t say a certain word to you?

Well, the answer was yes, but it was Thanksgiving and the Thrombeys had about a million and one weird-ass family traditions. That meant you were short on time to be pouting.

It was a freezing, perfect day. It had snowed all night and the house looked like something straight out of a Hallmark movie. Yes, this was going to be a complicated day with a lot of personalities that were butting heads because everyone had been together for way too long, but you were feeling festive. You wanted to make the best of the day and you planned to force the rest of the family to follow your lead.

The start of the traditions was donating money. You were the one who brought it up as soon as Richard tried to skip down the list. It always started with donating. Harlan would write checks for half a million dollars and let every member choose where they wanted to donate, the past three years you were included in that. Harlan always liked you, probably more than he liked some of his actual family.

“I’m just not sure,” Donna was saying, “We haven’t made much money this year.”

“Are you kidding?” Meg demanded. “Your husband’s publishing company is still seeing sale increases.”

“Because of the death of the author,” Linda pointed out. “Meaning, we should be a lot more frugal. The money will not be coming in the same way that it was.”

“This is not up for debate,” you snapped. “Everyone pick a god damn charity. Harlan insisted on this every single year, and we are going to continue it. Unless you all would like to provoke his ghost to come murder us. He died in this house after all!”

“It’s money,” Ransom pointed out. “We have more than enough, some people don’t have any.”

Linda rolled her eyes. “My son is just trying to get you to have sex with him.”

You glared.

“Mother,” Ransom sighed. “This isn’t a discussion. Just pick your damn charity.”

“Donna, it’s fine,” Walt promised. “Meg’s right, we’ve had a great year. And Y/N is right, Dad always wanted us to do this. I will start with my usual charity, Homes for Our Troops.”

“Fantastic.” You took the check as soon as he handed it over. “Donna?”

“American Cancer Society, of course.” She held it out for you and then looked to Jacob. “I think this year—”

“I have a charity picked,” Jacob informed.

Everyone fell silent. Likely, everyone’s immediate suspicion was Trump’s request for donations since he was still insisting the election was fraudulent. However, no one said anything because no one wanted to be the first victim of Jacob’s impending murder spree.

“Can’t I pick my own?” he pressed.

“Yes,” you answered. “You can, because everyone can pick their own charity.”

“Yeah,” Walt echoed. “Of course.”

He wrote the name down and slid the check across the table to you.

Ransom’s hand tightened on your thigh, a reminder not to let anyone antagonize you this holiday.

“Canines for Disabled Kids,” you read. “Jacob, that’s really great…I didn’t even know that was a charity.”

He shrugged. “Yeah, well, I like the idea that they can have dogs as friends and don’t have to make human friends. Humans are so stupid.” Then he returned all his attention to his phone.

“And we’re back,” Richard muttered.

Donna’s head snapped in his direction.

“Okay,” you interjected. “Joni?”

She chose a foundation interested in ending childhood obesity, received a snide comment from Meg about how even her acts of kindness were vain, and you intervened before it became bigger than that. Meg chose an organization that works to stop childhood prostitution, Linda went for homeless youth, and Richard selected Make-A-Wish Foundation. Walt felt the need to sarcastically commend him for his originality.

“Enough,” you said before Richard could respond. “My dearest Ransom, what have you chosen?”

He smiled at you. “Animal Legal Defense Fund. Their tagline is: all our clients are innocent.”

You nodded. “They are. All animals are innocent.”

Linda rolled her eyes. “Can we move on?”

“Okay, mine is—”

“I can’t believe you don’t have a problem that she’s basically brainwashing our son,” Linda interrupted, turning to Richard.

“Linda, please,” Richard sighed.

“My charity,” you spoke loudly, gaining their attention once more, “Is Planned Parenthood.”

“Are you out of your mind?” she demanded. “You want to donate your money to abortions?”

You glared. “That’s not all Planned Parenthood does, but…yes, I do. Babies suck, if a woman doesn’t want to have it, she doesn’t have to.”

Joni nodded. “I agree, completely. I’ve been learning in my group about how we are only placed on this earth to offer up our vibrations to one another. Our obligations do not exceed that. We don’t have to be anything! Not a mother, not a wife—”

“Oh, shut up!” Linda barked.

“Mother, calm down,” Ransom dismissed. “I don’t believe for a second any of you have not either had an abortion or been an accessory to one in the past.”

“I would never!” she gasped, pointing a finger at him. “And you better not ever let her!”

“Yeah, don’t worry about that happening. I’ve been thinking about eliminating that possibility, surgically—”

Linda’s mouth dropped.

This was, of course, untrue. Ransom would, first, never sacrifice any part of himself for that reason. Second, the matter had not been discussed yet. You guys weren’t even thinking about marriage, so of course, children weren’t being brought up. But that morning, Ransom woke up in the mood for chaos, and maybe you sort of did, too.

“I wanted a second child,” she told Richard, “You said to stop after Ransom because he was “perfect”.”

“I did say that,” he muttered to himself, a look of pure regret on his face.

You smiled at Ransom. “You are perfect.”

He kissed you, gaining disapproving noises from most of the table.

“I will never be a grandmother!” Linda yelled, burying her hands in her hair and resting her shoulders on the table.

You glanced at Ransom.

He nodded toward the kitchen. “Now that that’s done, let’s start cooking.”

Joni and Meg were currently searching the entire house for the Christmas decorations. They always ended up getting put in the strangest places and since you and Ransom had moved in and not known where they were, you moved basically everything. It was possible that you were going to have to make do with the decorations you and Ransom had been using for the past five years at his house.

You had, however, purchased a lot of lights because the Thrombeys loved their blue lights. Tacky, you wanted the yellow lights and made sure to buy enough that even a single blue light needed to be on that house. Ransom was excitedly awaiting his mother’s reaction to that.

Every year, Richard and Walt would put lights on the house while the dinner was cooking. Ransom should have helped but no one actually thought Ransom would lift a finger, so no one wasted their breath. He was only helping you cook because, as mentioned, he was pretending to be a good boyfriend.

But he was a monster, a true monster that was currently squashing even more of your dreams. “The answer isn’t just no, it’s fuck no.”

You glared. “I wasn’t asking for permission.”

“You asked if it was a good idea.”

“I think it is.”

“Then why did you ask me at all?”

“Because I thought you would be nice for a second, just a second, Ransom. I’m not asking for a lot.”

“We are not getting Jacob a dog.”

“Why not?”

“Because I hate dogs.”

“Well, I hate you,” you hissed.

He rolled his eyes. “Enough of the dramatics. This day is tiring enough already—”

“We’ll get him a small one, it doesn’t need to be those huge horses your mother calls dogs. A chihuahua, maybe. A Pomeranian, a dachshund—”

“Absolutely not, we already have Joni here, I don’t want some yappy animal—”

“Ransom!” you whined. “If we get him a dog, he might not become a serial killer.”

“He already is a serial killer, love, these are just the early years when he’s finding himself. The answer is still no.”

“Ugh, fine, can you just make the pie crusts, please?”

“How many?”

“Three.”

“Three? For what?”

“Pumpkin, apple, pecan, Ransom. The same things your family has served every single year I’ve been here, and presumably, all the ones before that.”

“Ugh.” He stood at the counter reading the recipe, muttering his disapproval, up until he saw the ingredients on the counter. “What is all of this?”

“Um, you know that recipe in your hand? The final product doesn’t just appear.”

“No, what is all of this…gluten-free flour, oat flour? Where’s the normal flour?”

“That is normal flour, Ransom.”

“No,” he argued. “No, it’s not.”

“It’s normal to some people,” you countered. “And this year, it’s normal to us. Joni went out and bought the groceries. If you wanted something, you could have done it yourself.”

“You wouldn’t let me leave the house! You kept saying I was going to get sick and die.”

“You could have ordered them!”

“You can’t be serious. On top of this dreadful year, you’re trying to make us eat healthy food on Thanksgiving?”

“Ransom, make the pie crusts!”

It was silent for several minutes, probably because you were using the mixer to make the pumpkin filling. As soon as it was off, Ransom was acting like you’d asked him to perform surgery.

“What does toss mean?”

“What?”

“It says to toss the ingredients.”

“Um, like, stir, I guess.”

“You guess or you know?”

“Just fucking stir, Ransom. I make pies all the time.”

He huffed. “No, oh, no. No, this is telling me to touch things with my hands, that’s disgusting and I’m not doing that.”

You turned back, eyes wide. “Ransom!”

“I’m not touching butter with my hands!”

“What is wrong with you!? It’s cooking, you have to use your hands to cook!”

“I don’t like touching butter!”

“How would you know? You’ve never cooked a day in your life!”

“I’m not touching it,” he claimed.

You took a slow breath in and released it while counting to ten. “Then switch with me and make the apple pie filling.”

“Great.” He walked to your counter as you walked to his. “What is this? What’s in this bowl?”

“The pumpkin pie filling. Cover it and put it in the refrigerator. That’s where the apples are.”

His next question came after he pulled out the bag of apples. “These?”

You turned back, blinking. “Yes, Ransom, those are apples.”

“I have to cut them?”

“And peel them.”

“That’s going to take forever.”

“Ransom, I’m about to smack you.”

“This is a lot!” he pointed out. “Why are we the only people cooking?”

“We’re not, not anymore,” you decided. “Get out, you can go help your father and Walt with the Christmas lights.”

“And you’re going to cook alone?”

“I basically already am.” You turned around to walk to the sink to wash your hands. Unlike Ransom, you weren’t making one pie crust at a time, and you would only need to do this once. When you turned around, you knew Ransom was behind you, but you had no idea what he was doing.

You only saw how close he was when you felt something wet and cold against the side of your face. Whatever it was, he dragged it all the way to the opposite cheek. You smelled and tasted the frosting that you had made for the sugar cookies.

He peeled the frosted star-shaped cookie off your skin and ate one of the corners. “Your blood-sugar seemed low, I thought I’d help.”

You tore the cookie out of his hand and shoved it directly in his face.

He scattered back, eyes wide in shock—as if he expected anything less? “What is wrong with you?!”

You grabbed the retractable faucet from the sink and turned the water on.

“Do not!”

It was a warning you ignored. Within seconds, he was slipping along the kitchen floor, rushing back to you to get the faucet out of your hands. As soon as he had it, he turned it on you, and you screamed like a cat about to be thrown in a bathtub.

“Stop it!” you ordered. “You are ruining Thanksgiving!”

“You’re ruining it!”

You elbowed him hard enough that he dropped the faucet, then kicked your heels off to run to the counter with the cookies and frosting.

“Don’t you dare!” He rushed after you and wrestled the cookie out of your hand, ultimately crushing it into crumbs that scattered all over the counter and the floor.

You shoved your opposite hand into one of the bowls of frosting, whipping around to place your hand on his face.

“What the fuck?!” But he leaned down, clearly uninterested in an answer, and pressed his face into your hair.

“My hair?!” you shrieked. “I’m going to kill you!”

There were several sets of steps that you both heard, but neither of you wanted to let the other get the upper hand. When the family finally found you, you had slipped, ended up on your ass, and Ransom was holding you down, claiming that you caused too many problems when you were on your feet.

“What the hell is going on?!” Joni questioned.

“Ransom, get off of her!” Meg pushed her way between the two of you, pulling you onto your feet. “Oh, my god, what is going on? Are you okay?”

Well, you were both soaking wet, layered in frosting, furiously trying to get another cookie to throw at the other. Were you okay? Only physically. Mentally, you weren’t sure either one of you was ever on solid ground there.

“Enough!” Linda yelled. “What is this insanity!? We need to be eating in less than an hour and as per usual, you two can’t go five minutes without fighting! That’s it, everyone get out of this kitchen! This is why I cook, this is why I do everything! I’m the only one that can!”

She turned away to open the door to usher everyone out and you took your chance to get some type of retaliation that you had been longing for since before the damn stay-at-home order.

You were able to reach for a cookie before either Meg or Ransom could stop you, and no one had ever dreamed your target would be Linda, so for a detrimental moment, their reactions were nonexistent. Essentially, everyone could only stare in pure horror as they realized the cookie was darting straight for the back of Linda’s head. Which, in your defense, wasn’t your exact intention. You thought her back, not her head…but well, there was a reason you weren’t a professional athlete.

Gasps filled the room as soon as the cookie contacted Linda’s head, then again when it fell to the floor. Linda slowly turned, eyes wide, jaw set, shoulders tense—that must be where Ransom got it.

“This is my house,” you reminded. “You do not get to order me out of my kitchen!”

She looked at Ransom, silently urging him to make his alliance known right then. Before he had to say anything, yelling sounded from outside the house. Walt and Richard had yet to finish the one job they had, everyone figured that was the cause of the disturbance.

Quickly, you all made your way out to the front of the house. Richard had his leg wrapped up in a mess of lights and was hanging from the edge of the house. The same vines of lights were also wound around Walt, who was hanging onto the house for dear life.

“Oh, my god!” Donna yelled. “Oh, my god!”

“Are you serious?” Linda demanded. “There is a pandemic! You guys seriously want to end up in the god damn hospital during a pandemic?”

Joni sighed in utter frustration. “Walt, just hang on. We’ll get Richard down—”

“Oh, my god!” Donna continued, despite the lack of panic coming from literally every other single person present. Even Walt seemed less alarmed than her. She started running to Richard and on any other day, it would have been an effortless plan of action. On this day, that Massachusetts had just seen a hell of a lot of snow, when the pavement was dangerously icy, she fell.

Meg screamed. “Oh, my god, I’m calling Dr. Fields!”

“He’s a doctor!” Joni pointed out. “A physical doctor—he won’t know how to deal with this sheer stupidity unless someone broke a bone!”

Donna, now over her initial shock, was attempting to get up.

“Donna, I think you’re hurt,” Meg said. “Just stay—”

Jacob was cautiously moving closer to her, directing her to stay put when Walt had finally lost his battle with the house. His hands slipped off and he went sliding down the edge of the roof. Richard hit the floor first, eliciting more screams from Meg and Donna, and then Walt followed onto several snow-covered bushes, and everyone lost their minds.

“I’m calling Dr. Fields! I am fucking calling Dr. Fields right now!” Meg repeated, shaking so much she could hardly get the phone out of her pocket, let alone find which one she had placed it in.

Joni began making her way through the snow to check if Richard was okay.”

“Oh, my god!” Donna was still repeating.

“Mom, just stay down,” Jacob said.

“Jesus,” Ransom snapped. “How hard is it to put these god damn lights on this god damn house?” He was following Joni, confident in the theory that his father was simply being dramatic. Walt, on the other hand, might have needed medical attention.

Meg watched her feet as she was walking back inside. “Dr. Fields, we have a serious emergency right now. I think everyone’s dying!”

Ransom and Joni were helping Richard sit up when he turned back to you. “Hey, get inside, you’re wet and going to get sick.”

He had a point, so without argument, you turned to do so. You felt the boniest of hands on your shoulders before you were shoved down face-first into the snow.

That was when Joni started screaming. “Oh, my god, call the police! She’s going to kill her. Meg, call the police!”

Meg ran out of the house and saw what was happening and once again, started to panic. “Dr. Fields, you need to get here immediately!”

Before you even fully processed what had happened, Linda was on top of you turning you onto your back.

“You stole my house!” she screeched.

“Linda!” Richard scolded.

You saw her hands go for your throat—later, everyone would claim she was probably doing something else, she obviously wasn’t going to choke you. You did the only thing you could think to do, you grabbed a handful of snow and shoved it in her face.

She toppled over and you made your way on top of her. You weren’t going to hit your boyfriend’s mother, but you did proceed to throw snow in her face until Ransom had gotten you off her.

The grand total of injuries was seven. Yet, the total of injuries that had occurred directly in the incident was five. Donna had a bruised tailbone, Richard had a broken leg, Walt had a sprained wrist, your knee was cut up fairly terribly since you fell on it when Linda pushed you, and Linda had stitches on her cheek because the first time you threw snow at her, there was a huge block of ice that you weren’t aware of. After Richard pointed out that you hadn’t started the altercation, she punched him, and he now had a swollen eye. After Ransom had gotten you inside, Meg, in her state of panic, hadn’t seen the door was shut and walked straight into it, and her nose was broken.

You weren’t sure how this family had managed more disaster with nearly 300 fewer people, but there you were. Ransom had forced you into the shower to get all the frosting out of your hair and to hopefully prevent the cold he suspected you were going to catch given the tiny outfit you were parading around in outside.

He lured you out of the shower with a mug of hot chocolate. Every space heater in the house was gathered in your bedroom and as soon as you were in his reach, Ransom wrapped you up in at least three heavy blankets.

When he sat you down on the bed, he pulled your leg out so he could tend to your knee. You felt like a child with him sat next to you with a first aid kit, too-delicately prodding at your irritated, aching skin. He was babying you.

You didn’t feel guilty for what you had done to Linda, but you did hate that Ransom was in the middle. “I’m s—”

He held his hand up to you. “Don’t.”

“But—”

He turned up to you. “Babe, she attacked you.”

“I…threw a cookie at her.”

He snorted. “Yeah, that was a little crazy.”

“I am sorry,” you huffed. “We said we weren’t going to let them bother us today.”

“You finally told her this was your house. I’ve wanted that since we first moved in. I know what we said, but all in all, I think we gained more than we lost.”

“What did we gain, Ransom?”

“Well, she knows you’re scrappy so she might think twice before pushing you again.”

You rolled your eyes. “Anything else?”

“Everyone is going to be preoccupied taking care of each other, Joni doting on Meg, my mom basically doing everything for my dad, Walt and Donna being overly protective of one another…”

“So, we can have sex in the kitchen and there’s a higher chance we won’t get caught?”

“That was exactly what I was thinking.”

You shrugged. “If we got Jacob a dog—”

“You know what?” he cut in. “Get out of these blankets, I haven’t spanked you in a long time even though you’ve deserved it about five times over by now.”

He made a show of attempting to get you out of the blankets even though you both knew he wouldn’t do it. You laughed the entire time until Ransom laid himself out on top of you, uncaring about how heavy he was.

“Is everyone okay?”

“They’ll live.”

“Well, I know Meg will—she’s going to get a nose job.”

He snorted, rolling his eyes. “You are just going to have to live vicariously through her.”

“We kinda ruined Thanksgiving dinner.”

“I did not,” he argued. “The turkey is almost done, the pies are in the other oven, also almost done—”

“All three?”

He nodded. “Yep. Jacob, believe it or not, was happy to peel and cut the apples.”

You rolled your eyes. “I swear, Ransom.”

“As soon as everyone stops acting like they’re dying, we’ll be able to sit down…well, Donna might not be able to sit down.”

You laughed. “Your family is insane.”

“And clearly, you fit right in.”

“Clearly,” you muttered. Unfortunately.

Christmas Eve:

Sometimes, you wished that you had listened to him when he said this wasn’t happening. Because then you wouldn’t have needed to worry about so many god damn people! It would just be you and Ransom in absolute seclusion, but no. No, you would never have it so easy during this fucking holiday.

How difficult was it to pick up the presents that you had ordered? You picked them out, you organized it all, you had only asked Ransom to drive to a single location and obtain them for you. Why hadn’t he? Because he was sleeping at 2 in the afternoon.

What did you have for Jacob? Not a damn thing. You had no presents for the teenage delinquent you were terrified of. You weren’t family, he was going to store you away in the basement and torture you until he got bored. Ransom probably wouldn’t even realize you had been missing until Jacob placed your body parts all over the house. And three of Meg’s presents were also missing, you knew Linda was going to make another comment.

You would hit her with more ice. After you strangled her son, of course, who was currently hot helping in any way at all.

“Ransom, put your fucking drink down and hand me the tape!”

“Are your fucking hands broken?!”

“I’m holding the box!”

He slammed his drink down on the bedside table and angrily stormed his way to where you were surrounded by boxes, wrapping paper, and a million other things he wasn’t even aware you’d spent money on. This was too much for his family and he was just waiting for you to realize that they were nowhere near worth the effort you constantly put in.

Ransom picked up the tape, tore a piece off, and placed it between where your fingers were resting on the box.

“Thank you so much,” you responded, pure sarcasm.

And god damn, he had had enough of your fucking tone. “You are driving me insane!”

“I’m driving you insane?! Your family has been ruing my whole fucking life since March!”

“I didn’t want them here!”

“Well, I’m a human with actual empathy for others, so I logically knew that that was not an option!”

“You were going to leave my mother out of your precious sanctuary!”

“Because she’s abusive!” You shoved your hands into your hair and shook your head. “I’m done, absolutely done. I can’t have this conversation with you again. Your mother sucks, why is this news to you? I’m so sorry for trying to hold her accountable for her actions. Oh, but of course, every time someone tries to make any of you face the consequences for your actions, you act like it’s a hate crime!”

He glared. “I hate you.”

“I hate you!” you seethed.

“I can’t fucking believe I actually want to do this!” he turned away, scrubbing one of his hands down his face. “You make me so fucking crazy.”

“Do what?” you demanded. “What the hell are you talking about now? What god-awful thing have you decided to do?”

He made his way to the bed, tearing open the drawer to the bedside table on his side. He was muttering quickly under his breath and even if his speech hadn’t been so hurried, it was quiet enough that you had no chance of hearing anything.

It was silent for several moments before he turned back to you and threw something on the bed. He gestured to it then crossed his arms over his chest.

Since your bed was a mess of dark blankets, you weren’t sure what you were supposed to be seeing. You stood, carefully stepping your way out of the present-wrapping station you had created and neared the bed. You stopped dead in your tracks when you saw a tiny black box against the mattress.

You looked back at him, eyes wide, pleading. No…no, that was not happening. He wasn’t actually…

“Marry me.”

“What?!”

He actually seemed surprised by your reaction. He leaned over, snatched the box off the bed, and stomped back to you. “Marry me.”

“You’ve lost it,” you accused. “You’re actually literally insane. You need to be committed!”

“Yes, it’s insane that I want to marry you but for some fucking reason, I do!”

“Oh, my god, Ransom!” You slapped the box out of his hands and that was just too much for him. “I’m not fucking marrying you, you’ve never even told me you love me!”

He hurriedly picked up the box, tossed it back onto the bed, and then grabbed you by your arms. “You’re seriously fucking bringing that up now?”

“What does that even mean?! Yes, I’m bringing it up now. You marry someone when you’re in love with them and since you haven’t said it after seven years, I understandably doubt your feelings for me.”

“You are such a fucking brat.”

“You’re a brat!” you yelled, more exasperated than you’d ever felt. “You’re such a fucking entitled brat! There’s no other way to describe you. You just think I’m going to say yes and give you everything you want when you can’t even say you love me!”

“This is absolutely fucking ridiculous.”

“Just fucking say it, Ransom! If you love me, just say it!”

“You will not bully me into saying something that I don’t even deem as important.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“Love is a word! Okay? It means nothing. My parents fucking say they love each other, then my dad fucked someone else. Neal and Joni said they loved each other every god damn second that they could but guess what. He still died. And don’t even get me started on Walt and Donna, their “love” created the next great serial killer of this wonderful fucking country!”

You were speechless, Ransom never talked to you like this. He never brought up the fucked-up aspects of his family that had consequently fucked him up as well.

He finally let you go when he realized you weren’t going to say anything, turning to walk away. You startled when he banged his hand against the wall. “God damn it!”

“Why do you make me say it to you then?” you demanded.

“I don’t know!” he admitted.

Again, you were both silent. You were thinking of the best way to respond, and you certainly couldn’t come up with that, but you knew what you wanted to say. “I’m not marrying you.”

He laughed.

It was a terrifying sound that gave you chills. He was going to kill you, you were 90% sure. As soon as he started walking toward you, you turned away to run to the bathroom, but Ransom had always known that would be your plan.

He effortlessly caught you and dragged you back to the bed. He shoved you down, pinned your arms to the mattress to stop you from hitting him, and slid his hips between your legs to make it impossible to kick him. “You’re going to marry me.”

“You’re going to force me to marry you?”

“I’ll drag you to the fucking courthouse if I have to.”

“The courthouse?!”

“I want to give you a wedding, the obscenely priced, overly dramatic show that I know you want. But if you won’t say yes, you leave me no other option.”

You rolled your eyes. “Then I guess that’s what you’ll have to do because my answer is no.”

Luckily for him, your outfit was not overly complex. He knew you weren’t wearing anything under your skirt because his hand was between your legs for most of dinner that night. You didn’t let him make you come because you were throwing a temper tantrum over the situation with the presents, but he was evidently not deterred.

After he moved your wrists together and kept you held there, he used his free hand to get his pants out of the way. In seconds, he was fully inside you and was offering you no time to adjust.

You realized why when you felt his hands moving over your head. Turning up that way, you saw him fumbling with the box. He was going to put the ring on your finger, and you had the sinking suspicion you might not be able to part with it if you saw it. But no, this was not happening.

You managed to get one of your hands free and yanked on his hair.

He kissed you because he had nothing left to do but bite your lip. Hard. He didn’t even falter when you cried out.

He was the idiot who let you keep your shoes on and you were limited on where you could get your heel. You did yoga, but you weren’t some contortionist. You had one option, and that was stabbing your heel into the side of his ass, and it was completely his own fault.

Finally, he pulled away and was forced to let you on top, which was the only advantage you needed. You smacked the box off the bed. However, now that he wasn’t overly concerned with holding you to the bed, he could pull your hair until you relented and fell back onto the bed.

He rolled over several times until you were both on the very edge, managing to kick your heels off in the process. He never stopped driving his hips into you, knowing that the only advantage he had was how weak you always got for his cock.

You could hear him reaching around blindly on the floor but with each brush of his skin against your clit, you got less scared about the idea that he would get the ring on you. You knew you didn’t want it. You knew you didn’t want to marry him and there was no way in hell you would willingly say yes, but fuck, you wanted to come.

You touched the side of his face and he finally looked back at you.

“Say yes.”

“Fuck you.” You pulled him down, your lips meeting his. There was blood in the kiss and your lip was throbbing, but you couldn’t care. Not when he was fucking you this violently, this angrily. He’d never fucked you like this before. You were no stranger to Ransom being a cruel lover, but there had never been so much pure wrath.

He had located the box, you could tell when his fingernails stopped clicking against the hardwood floor. You were panicking, not fully thinking through your plans, you just knew you needed to be able to reach the box. You threw all your weight at him and he was barely balanced as it was.

Despite his anger, he still had more of a mind than you—probably because he wanted something out of this, he needed to be mindful to get his way. He basically let you throw him on the floor because he worried about the results if he managed to fall on you.

Instead of retaliating any further, you grabbed his hand and brought it down to your center. He needed no further prompt than that, his thumb began to circle your clit as his other hand grabbed your hip and moved you along the length of his cock.

Where was the box? On his chest, he set this there because he was the cockiest fucking asshole in the world. He saw you eyeing it and smirked. “Go ahead, baby, take it, but you know I’ll fucking stop.”

That was unimaginable. Both hands reached for the one he had on your hip. You continued rolling your hips like it was the last time you were ever going to get to, dragging his hand up to your mouth.

“I swear if you fucking bite me,” he warned.

No, you weren’t going to do that. Yet. You choked yourself on his fingers, stifling all the pathetic sounds that were spilling out from you. Ransom simply enjoyed the show, enjoyed you fucking yourself on his cock, enjoyed you staring at him with those smoky, delicate eyes as you sucked on his fingers.

He stopped touching your clit once he felt you coming. He used that hand to hold you up on your knees and thrust his hips into you punishingly. You were dizzy, disastrously satiated and overstimulated. He finished with a shaking moan, a tell that he was trying to be quiet.

It wasn’t late, the family was undoubtedly aware of what was going on.

He turned down, staring at the place you were still connected. Ransom waited until his cum was spilling out of you and then yanked you back down to take his entire length. If there was anything that Ransom did love in this world it was filling you with his cum and watching it slowly pour out.

You only allowed him to do this several times before you finally bit down on his fingers. His hand lifted from your hip and tore your hair back hard enough that you opened your mouth to yell at him. When he could pull his fingers from your mouth, he wrapped that hand around your neck and pulled you flat down, your chest to his, the ring box trapped between you and him, digging painfully into your ribs.

He slammed you into the wall and you brought your legs up to hook around his waist. “Sorry, daddy, I didn’t mean to bite you.”

“After I get this ring on you, I’m gonna make you call your parents and tell them we’re engaged. And I’m gonna fuck you and make you call me daddy, just to remind your father how much of a daddy’s girl you used to be.”

“Why call when you could Facetime?”

“Then I’m gonna have you choking on my cock, baby, all they need to see is the ring on your finger.” The hand in your hair wedged its way between you and him and he located your clit once more.

It was too much but you knew Ransom wasn’t going to care. Begging him to stop would just provide him enjoyment and that was the last thing you wanted him to have. He kept his other hand around your neck because he knew you would say something that would annoy the fuck out of him if he let you.

When you were coming, his hips were moving once more and his hand abandoned your clit to move the box. You felt it sliding along your skin until it was gone and then you realized he wasn’t holding your neck anymore. He had your left hand held clutched in his and you felt the cold band he was sliding onto your finger.

You couldn’t do much, you had lost and you knew it. But you could leave a few more marks on him, so you latched your free hand onto his shoulder and dragged your nails down his back, and you bit down on his shoulder harder than you probably should have. He was a fucking animal, it seemed like he didn’t care at all. He just wanted to get the ring on you, and once he had, he grabbed your face and shoved you back.

You knew he was trying to get you to look at the ring, but you refused. Your eyes were slammed shut and nothing was going to change that.

He walked you to the bathroom, pulling out to bend you over the counter because he knew you would instinctually lift both hands up to the edge. Once you had, he shoved his cock back inside you and grabbed your jaw to angle your face in the direction of your left hand. “Look at it.”

“Fuck. You!” you growled.

He smacked your ass and even though you shrieked like he was murdering you, you did not open your eyes. He repeated this several times until his own hand was stinging almost unbearably. New plan.

He used his feet to kick your legs apart further and you felt a sharp, sudden slap against your cunt. Your eyes snapped open and a scream tore from your throat. He almost felt bad until he saw your attention on the ring. Was he an ass? Yes. But had he won? Also, yes.

That fucking asshole. His hand dropped to rub over your aching pussy, cock still moving at a painfully fast pace. Ransom was fucking furious and the only way he could take it out on you was by fucking you this way.

You couldn’t say you had any complaints about it. Tomorrow, when you were pretending you couldn’t stand to look at him, you would be bruised and sore everywhere that he had touched you. You would be wet all day thinking about how it happened.

The fucking ring. A huge cushion-cut diamond set in a halo on top of a diamond-encrusted band. It wasn’t simple, it sounded like it, but there was something so beautiful about it. Fuck, you wouldn’t let this ring go unless you were dead. Because he was right. You liked money and diamonds and you were materialistic, and this was from Ransom and you loved everything he gave you. And at the end of it all, even though you were saying no to him, he shoved that ring onto your finger because you were his and that was never going to change.

“Say yes.”

“No.”

“Fine.” He reached for your hand but stopped when he saw you make a fist.

“Try to take this ring from me and I will fucking kill you, Ransom.”

He scoffed. “Great, I’m gonna get my phone to Facetime your parents.”

You rolled your eyes. “Fuck you.”

“Not yet,” he pointed out. “First, I need to fuck your mouth, but then—”

From outside, the dogs started to bark.

You let your head fall onto the counter and groaned. “I fucking swear, every fucking time we’re fucking—”

He pulled out and rushed from the bathroom.

“Hey!” you called out. “What the hell?”

“Shit, shit, shit,” he muttered to himself as he searched for where he’d thrown his pants. When had he even gotten them off?

“Ransom?”

“Wait there,” he directed and then he dashed out of the room.

“Excuse you!” It wasn’t like you had much of an option, your legs weren’t working yet, and you were sweating and gross, and bruised and your lip was swollen and clearly bitten.

After several moments, he hadn’t come back. What the hell was he up to? You winced and hummed, made any noise that made you feel slightly better, as you tiptoed around the room looking for something to put on. You settled on one of his shirts and slowly, pathetically made your way downstairs. “Ransom?”

No response.

“Hello, anyone?” If someone else was around, you could force them to look for your boyfriend instead of having to do so yourself. But it seemed that you were out of luck on that.

The dogs were still barking like crazy, but why was no one else reacting? And why did Ransom care? He never paid attention to the dogs. You followed the sound of their barking, they had moved from the backyard to the side of the house. Which was odd because they never went there.

The garage? Your suspicions were confirmed when you heard Linda complaining about something, being constantly interrupted by Joni, Walt, and Ransom. Okay, again, unusual. He tended to ignore his mother, not argue with her.

His eyes widened when he saw you in the doorway. “No, no, this has to stop. I need everyone out of this room.”

“What the hell is going on?” you questioned.

“We don’t want to alarm you,” Donna began, “But—”

“Pretty sure he has drugs,” Meg claimed. “Like, hardcore drugs. Heroin, probably.”

Your eyes widened at him.

He glared. “I don’t have drugs, don’t be ridiculous.”

You gasped, pointing in the direction of the dogs still barking outside. “Those are German Shepherds, they’re drug dogs!”

Meg gasped, nodding at you with wide eyes. “I’m calling the cops.”

“Knock it off,” Linda scolded. “Ransom, show us what you’re hiding right now, or we’ll tear this room apart.”

He rolled his eyes, storming over to the corner of the room where a sheet was laid over something. “Fine, merry fucking Christmas.” He yanked it off one of the old kennels Linda used for her dogs when they were being trained.

There was a long list of things you were suspecting to see. Three sleeping puppies? No, they were nowhere on the list. And then you realized that was why he hadn’t gone to pick up Jacob’s present.

“You got me more puppies?” Linda inquired.

You, along with most of the room, glared at her.

“No,” Ransom snapped. “One is for Jacob and one’s for Meg.”

Both Jacob and Meg excitedly ran to the cage, startling the puppies awake. Much to Ransom’s dismay, the baby talk began without a second thought and the puppies were whining and making those small noises that always irritated him.

One for Jacob. One for Jacob. Then…the third. Oh, god.

He turned to you with a sigh.

“Yes,” you said, “Yes, yes, a million times yes!” You ran across the room, ignoring all your aching limbs and threw yourself into his arms. “And I’ll stop being so mean to you, and if you want to do this at the courthouse, I won’t even be upset because you’re so good to me and I’m awful to you. I’m sorry!”

“It’s okay,” he assured.

“No,” you protested. “It’s a million times not okay! I’m so sorry.” You pulled back to touch his face. “I’m really, really sorry. But I’m going to be the best wife in the world—”

“What?” Joni cut in.

That was the only thing in the world that could have drawn attention away from the puppies.

“Wife?” Linda repeated.

You checked with Ransom and he nodded. He had been looking forward to this. All you had to do was hold out your hand and Joni and Meg were excitedly shrieking. There hadn’t been a wedding in the family in so long.

“Wow,” Walt said. “Ransom? Engaged, showing commitment? This is the strangest year I’ve ever lived.”

Ransom rolled his eyes.

Before another word could be said, Linda collapsed onto the floor. Richard and Walt were the only ones who felt alarmed at the situation, while everyone else moved in closer to see the puppies.

“Which one is ours?” you wondered.

“Yours,” he corrected. “And the blonde one. She was the least yappy I could find on such short notice.”

Your eyebrows pulled together. “Where did you go?”

“The pound, obviously.”

“I fucking love you,” you blurted out, grabbing his face to pull him down into a kiss.

Once again, the room echoed with disgusted sounds.

“Which one’s mine?” Meg wondered.

“I couldn’t care less,” he admitted.

“I’m gonna name mine Hugh,” Jacob announced.

Ransom gave you an expectant look.

“I love you?” you tried.

“Gonna need a lot more than that.” He picked you up and because you knew Ransom wasn’t going to accept any kind of attitude from you for a very long time, you hooked your legs and arms around him and willingly went.

“I’ll take care of your dog until you guys are done being gross!” Meg promised.

chris tags:

@onetwo3000​ @chris-evans-indian-fanfic​ @donutloverxo​ @kleohoneyao3​ @cevans-fics​

ransom tags:

@la-cey​

#ransom drysdale x reader #i did not actually do this #like wtf is wrong with me? #my writing

[127-mile]

Lonely hearts club.

Pairing: Sicheng x gender neutral reader.

Genre: College!au, strangers to lovers | Fluff, humor.

Warnings: Alcohol consumption.

Plot: Johnny decided to throw a Valentine's day party for him and his single friends. Guests must draw a name from a bowl to be paired with for the duration of the party. Sicheng picked your name.

Prompt: “We should do this again.”

Word count: +2.3k.

A/N: Happy Valentine’s day, guys. This is part of the “Candy hearts collab”. The collab’s masterlist is in my main masterlist, go read the other writers’ works.

"Welcome to the Lonely hearts club," Johnny begins to say, hands on his hips. "if we are here today, it is because we all are single on this special day. So instead of getting drunk on our own, I decided to make a little game out of this party." from the makeshift bar, he takes a bowl filled with little pieces of paper. "You will all draw a name from this bowl, and will be paired with this person for the duration of the party."

"Is that why you asked me to write everyone's names instead of studying earlier?" you ask, and Johnny nods, lips curling into a smile. You watch as a few guests get up to leave, but Johnny shakes something in front of them. The key of the house. "I am not giving you a choice. The only way for you to leave is through the windows, but it will probably startle the alarms, so except if you want to spend the night in jail, you should come and pick a name."

Johnny thought of everything, and you are not surprised.

"Are you going to draw a name, or are you going to watch and laugh at us?" you ask the host of the party, and he nibbles on his lower lip. "I'm not watching you all fall in love while crying over my sad and pathetic romantic life." he is always so dramatic.

You take a step back when the guests come to pick up a piece of paper, and you grab a cup to fill it with vodka. Maybe if you are drunk enough, the person with whom you'll have to be paired will leave and let you enjoy the rest of the night.

"Are you here to force me into the living room, or to hide from Johnny and his crazy idea?" you hear when you head to the kitchen where you know you will be safe, but you are not alone. Your eyes meet the ones of a young man, blond hair, and soft brown eyes. "I am hiding, do not worry."

"Then you are allowed to stay."

You roll your eyes, and you sit on the kitchen counter. You listen to the names being called, the laughs that follow, and even the sound of the bowl falling and breaking when Johnny's name is being shouted by someone. "We are going to be here for awhile, so might as well make the most of it. I'm Sicheng."

You were not expecting the stranger to talk, but you are not mad about it. He has a nice voice, even muffled by the hubbub coming from the living room. "I'm Y/n, nice to meet you Sicheng. Are you friends with Johnny, or Jaehyun?" you ask, and he takes a sip from his bottle of beer.

"I am unfortunately friends with both of them." oh, that must hurts, you think. "I'm truly sorry that you have to put up with both of them." you say in a comforting voice, and it makes Sicheng laugh. Oh, this is a really pretty sound. "I hope you'll find better friends after this party. I'm not offering my help, as I am friends with Johnny."

"Y/n! It's your turn!" oh fuck.

You get down from the counter, and you crouch behind the kitchen island which was a great idea, because Johnny enters the room immediately. "Win, have you seen Y/n?" you turn your head towards the young man, and you put you index finger against your lips, and he just shrugs. "I have no idea who Y/n even is."

Johnny heaves a sigh, but he does not leave the room. "Alright, then it's your turn Sicheng." Sicheng's eyes widen, he really thought he would be safe in this room, but turns out, nowhere is safe when Johnny has an idea. "Do I have to?" Johnny scoffs. "Yes. Don't make me pick a name for you."

Sicheng glares at you, and he leaves the kitchen. The guests are scattered around the living room and the garden, so Johnny and Jaehyun's eyes are the only one he feels on his back as he picks a piece of paper from the floor. The bowl is effectively broken, and no one bothered to clean.

He laughs when he reads the name on the paper, and he turns it towards the two boys. "Y/n! Come out, your party buddy is waiting for you."

A party buddy? What the fuck is a party buddy? You stay hidden, but then another voice is heard, and you have no choice but to straighten up. "Y/n, we can hide in the kitchen some more if you want."

You rest your shoulder against the doorframe, arms crossed against your chest. "Did you cheat?" you ask when you see your name written on the piece of paper in between his fingers, and he shakes his head. "I would never! Fate is just funny like that."

"You two already know each other? That's cool! Go now, have fun, get drunk, don't throw up on the couch, and don't fuck in my parents' bed." Johnny says before disappearing in the garden with Jaehyun by his side. "We needs new friends." you mutter, and Sicheng agrees.

Without a word, you go back to the kitchen and you sit back down on the counter. "Do you think we did something terrible in our past lives to have them as friends?" you wonder out loud, and Sicheng just sighs. "Or we did something so great that they decided to slap us with some humility by giving us these friends."

He sure is right.

The first hour goes by quickly, and smoothly.

Sicheng talks about his studies, and his dream of opening a dance studio in town, and you talk about your own projects. The advantage of being in the kitchen is that no one is bothering you. Sometimes Johnny comes in to grab beers from the fridge, but he leaves right away.

"Should we go and visit Johnny's room?" Sicheng suddenly asks, and you smile. "I thought you would never ask."

You were not planning on spending an entire night with the same person, so you take what you can get to be a little bit more entertain. Not that Sicheng is boring, far from that, but the atmosphere is not the one of a Valentine's Day party. It is quite the opposite. The guests are awkward with each other, so they drink cup after cup of alcohol, and even inhebriated, it does not help them get the stick out of their asses.

Tomorrow morning is going to be a mess, you know it. You also know that Johnny is going to regret his decision of having this kind of party.

"Do you know which bedroom it is?" Sicheng asks as you walk through the corridor of the first floor. "I'm pretty sure this is this one." you say, poiting at a door with Johnny's name painted on it. "Oh, he is that kind of loser then."

"It's his childhood's bedroom, don't be so mean." you whisper, but in a way, he is right. Johnny is kind of a loser.

Unlike the other doors, this one is not unlocked. "He is making it too easy." you step inside the bedroom, and as expected, it looks really childish. The wallpaper is blue with cars on it, the bed is way too small for Johnny's long legs and plushies are all around the room, which is not too different from his actual bedroom.

"Look!" you join Sicheng in front of a whill covered with photos of Johnny's growth into adulthood. You take your phone out, and you snap a few pictures of the photos, and when Sicheng looks at you, you just shrug. "I need blackmail material for the next time he tries to pull a stunt like this."

You sit on the edge of the bed, and you look up. "Oh no, that's disgusting." you mutter as you see yourself on the mirror glue to the ceiling. "Does a kid really need a mirror on the ceiling? Ew!"

"I'm pretty sure he got it installed when his parents started traveling. For his conquests, I guess." Sicheng explains, and that makes sense, but that's still disgusting. Fucking someone in his childhood's bedroom, in a child's bed. The thing is, you are not even surprised.

"Do you think Johnny was serious when he talked about the alarms going off if we try to open a window?" you shrug, and you watch as Sicheng gets up to walk to the window. "We should try."

You open your eyes wide. "Do you really want to finish the night in jail? Johnny is stupid enough to tell the cops that we actually tried to break in the house while he was having a party." especially if he is drunk.

"We won't if we run fast enough."

Sicheng has something in his voice, something that prompts you on your feet and behind him. "Except if we die from the gall." you say in a low voice close to his ear and you see the skin of his arm break into goosebumps. "You are right. We should try from downstairs' bathroom."

"I have to get my things back anyway." together, you leave Johnny's bedroom and when you both have your jackets and bags, Sicheng locks the door behind you. "Isn't it a bit too mean to lock the door?" Sicheng looks back and he decides to unlock the door. He wants to piss off Johnny, but he does not want the guests to trash his house with vomit.

"Are you ready?" he asks, and you nod.

When he opens the window, nothing happens at first. And after a couple of seconds, an alarm echoes in the house. "Why can't they just have those silent alarm with a notification on their phone, it'd be way more discreet."

"Sicheng, get out of the bathroom, we don't have time!" he shakes his head with vigor and he slings a leg on the other side of the window and he gets out of the bathroom, face immediately whipped by the cold wind. You do the same, and he helps you to avoid you from tripping.

You hear screams inside the house, and you try not to imagine Johnny's face when he understands that someone actually opened a window to leave. "We are so dead." you say before running.

Sicheng runs and laughs at the same time, and hearing him laugh is enough to make you laugh too. His laugh is addicting, just like his presence, and you are glad Johnny did this. If you had not had to hide in the kitchen, you would not have met Sicheng, and that would have been a shame.

After a few minutes of intense run, Sicheng grabds your wrist and pushes you into a dark alley. "I think we're far enough." he says in a sigh, and you nod. You are breathless, hands on your knees, you break into a fit of giggles despite the burn in your lungs. "We are the worst friends ever." you breath out.

"They are the worst, we did what we had to do." he answers, and he is right. You freeze when you hear your phone rings in the pocket of your jacket. You take it out, and you bite the inside of your cheek when you see Johnny's picture on the screen.

"Johnny, why are you calling me, we are in the same house!" you exclaim in faux surprise, and Sicheng puts a hand on his mouth to muffle a laugh. "My hearing is pretty good, so yes, I definitely heard the alarm. But that does not answer my question, why are you calling me?" you nod, even though Johnny can't see it.

"Sicheng and I are in the house, we are watching you right now, you can't see us?" he is going to hate you both, and you are ready, really. "How many drinks did you have tonight? Because we are waving at you right now! Just turn around!" Johnny starts to mumble about the alcohol he has in his cup, so you take the opportunity to hang up.

"Did he believe you?" Sicheng asks, and you shrug. "I don't know, but what I know is that he thinks he is more drunk than he actually is, which is a good thing." Sicheng threads his fingers through his hair, and he inhales deeply.

"I'm starving, do you want to go eat something?"

And that's how you find yourself sitting in the booth of a fast food, in the middle of the night. "I thought this place would be empty tonight." you say, looking around.

A few couples are here, sharing fries and sodas, some people are alone, either enjoying a night light every other nights, a boy is even crying in the corner. "Poor boy probably got dumped."

"I would dump him with this haircut too." Sicheng grumbles, mouth full of fries, and you roll your eyes. Johnny has been texting you for the past twenty minutes, wondering why he can't find you, and every time the screen lights up, you chuckle. Poor boy.

"Well, all in all, that was a pretty nice party." you state, and the young man nods. "I think so too."

"We should do this again." he adds right away, and you tilt your head to the side. "Bothering Johnny?" Sicheng laughs softly, but he shakes his head. "No. This. Together. You know, like a date?" his cheeks take on a soft pink hue, and you can't help but smile. "I'd love that."

Tonight was your last night as part of the Lonely Hearts Club, and that's thanks to Johnny and his crazy ideas.

#cznnet #nct #wayv #nct imagines #wayv imagines #nct scenarios #wayv scenarios #winwin imagines #winwin scenarios

[sugar-petals]

Bts voice analysis anon here! I just wanted to thank you for taking the time to respond ❤ it made complete sense why yoongi is the deepest I kinda feel bad for him everytime he wants to sounds cheerful or speak in a way so people can hear him he strains his voice

lot to talk about, i’d like to expand on this. especially what his voice being the deepest means for bts’ songs. plus, where his undiscovered vocal talents are, and in what manner his voice will not strain.

that he’s very introverted contributes to what you say, but yoongi is certainly the odd one out voice-wise, such low baritones hardly sound upbeat. similar to how taehyung being the odd one out in the vocal line whose head voices are literal superpowers. i really respect him for singing with jin and jimin who can climb one octave higher than him, up to C#5! and with jk who has the best technique and breaks into the 6th octave if he goes on like that.

it’s very much like yoongi who probably has to mix their tracks back and forth to fit his parts with hobi (who is a tenor as a rapper! — very uncommon) and namjoon who raps in several modes. very low, very high, very impactfully. he’s the most full-bodied baritone in the group even if he’s only the third-deepest. the tone is just so rich. both hoseok and RM are extreme vocal chameleons on top of that. in speaking and in their music you can hear the difference to yoongi all the time. they don’t suddenly drop in pitch and they’re vocal acrobats.

hobi in particular, this guy can do anything. the sheer agility my god, he connects his registers. he can go up and down, impersonate and do a million effects, adlibs, you know the drill. it’s him who actually owns the “cheerful/loud and clear” brand you mention. which is good if not fantastic for yoongi’s production endeavours, the group mood, and how bts cannot be ignored — but tough for yoongi’s voice and comparison thinking, and when he tries to make a point in interviews. maybe it’s not bad that bts have to slow down sometimes to let yoongi speak, but his tone is drowned out (not intentionally of course) in other occasions and he wakes up hoarse often as we saw. which might sound hot, but it’s not good for him as you say.

to be clear. i wouldn’t chalk down his more monotonous and silent tone as a weakness, it’s just outside of bts’ other vocal variety. he makes up for it with speed and good lungs anyway. we just have to listen more closely to him in talks/episodes/conferences but i think he shouldn’t worry about it either or try to sound more enthusiastic, the fans love his soothing speech for its pure sake. he does change it regardless to be more poignant and blend in. it has pros and cons but it wears him out.

yoongi’s voice is under that strain not just in conversation but also in the studio if he wants to bring connection to the rap line parts instead of having 3 songs in 1. which usually ends up happening anyway. that’s also why the cyphers (!) switch genres mid-song so often: their voices are all strong in different registers! yoongi the lowest, joon midrange, and hoseok up high. 

that’s why cypher pt2 is a HUGE stunt and production masterpiece: hoseok’s part is tuned differently, then other instrumentals start with namjoon. and you can literally hear, okay alright a deep voice is coming! from there it just gets deeper and deeper until yoongi is just rapping over a bass guitar (every baritone’s best friend lmao!). god, please give yoongi a big bassline for his every part. “ugh” is the exact opposite: yoongi has to start too high and namjoon also has problems with the key, only hoseok can fully take off after 1:50 with perfect vocal stability. guess which song is autotuned: it’s not cypher pt2! a 3 in 1 song fuels the rapline in a way where they are most comfortable. it’s crazy how far apart they are among each other vocally and it has to be considered.

it’s a dilemma but also why bts’ rap line can tackle any song with at least one member suiting it. they complement each other, every register (except the rare whistle register, aka what mariah/ariana do) is covered. i think that contributed to bts’ fame, it’s so important. however usually, the song caters to hoseok since tenors are preferred in kpop music, or it caters to RM as he’s the central songwriting entity even if mind you, he always thinks about all the members and works closely with yoongi.

but even with joon’s support, it doesn’t work if yoongi is caught in his wish to be a tenor. we’ve seen how much the guy talks about wanting his range to become wider and how he even tried singing quite high for his standards on d-2. he goes as far as collabing only with sopranos to help him achieve that pitch. yoongi is invested to pretty much change his entire vocal type 🙁because the environment simps for high notes so bad (which is fair, falsetto is related to releasing certain happy hormones and highlights parts in songs, but still).

... he actually can’t, unless he wants to damage his throat. that’s the last thing we want. a listener can get the serotonin from a very deep voice equally if they got good taste.

thing is. you cannot morph yourself into a different vocal type and shift your range to the opposite of your comfort zone unless you’re whitney houston. even one in a million tenors like baekhyun can’t make themselves a baritone. his lowest notes are less clear no matter how hard he practices, even if his chest voice is almost operatic and his technique excels. meanwhile, chanyeol (who’s a lyric baritone and exo’s deepest voice) effortlessly hits them without (!!) that kind of decade-long training. have baekhyun or jimin been called bad singers for not being able to cover the other end of the spectrum? nope. so: why would yoongi be a bad vocalist who needs autotune. with lessons, oh man, he could do a lot and many things he dreams of. he has a very unique timbre and enough musical knowledge to do so.

so, we see the magic of your natural supported range. it’s simply given to you. imagine that: if you know you’re not a tenor, you could sort of outsing jungkook — obviously not by technique, but projection— as long as the song is tailored to you and the notes are low enough. yep, jk’s lower register is not extremely forward. each note is perfectly sung because he’s jk, but his power vocals are settled much higher. joon/tae/yoongi would sound much fuller with huge oomph in those lines. that’s where yoongi would be much more clear-sounding to us. a lot of baritone rappers in kpop would be damn good singers. 

that’s why it’s good how a lot of rappers produce solos on their own so they can try it out. 

you just have to respect that your range usually (not always) goes in one direction. once yoongi rightfully decides to abandon his high note fantasy and goes lower just for fun, we are not safe anymore lmao! exception for range: female singers have an advantage there. trained mezzo-sopranos have great access to the head voice and lower registers since they’re in the perfect middle of the scale. but the guys, forget it, even the baritenors. yoongi’s fullest voice will always be coming from a chesty depth and we love him for it. guy just needs to realize.

that’s why his real challenge is rather somehow tweaking the rap parts so his voice finds good resonance like in “혼술” or even “ddaeng”. where his voice is strong, relaxed, and full and flowing. ddaeng — “boy with luv”, too— is ironically in a very high pitch and again caters to hobi’s tone the most, but: yoongi just scales down to his own octave and it still fits, so — great key choice and musicality! and adaptation. it’s not easy to do. you can tell he plays piano.

he either becomes less easy on the ear or has to autotune himself entirely if he works against his voice. or: goes on a track way outside his supported range (dynamite, WOW). it’s a shame. “daechwita” and “agust d” are such a case: both go into the head voice where your resonance should show the most aka the chorus. there are aggressive belts/snarls/shouts that make more sense for higher, trained voices. yoongi is most famous for raps that are literally designed to fuck up his vocal cords 😷that he’s so skilled as a rapper prevents him from that to a degree, but it’s still not healthy. he adapts a lot to bts’ overall delivery but he doesn’t have to, in fact: he could go in the other direction and it would work even better.

the reason for the title track issue: they are the most energetic. in k-pop, energetic means amping up the pitch. and that’s probably a logical choice and a natural human association. if you make a baritone kpop track with a lot of energy, it probably becomes pretty creepy, uneasy, film noir. but i think that’s exactly yoongi’s thing: to unsettle and critique and rage. i think it could work out. lil nas x is a baritone pulling it off. he achieves energetic title tracks, he honors his vocal type well imo. his live singing is cool af, i need this so hard in the rap landscape. so, it’s not impossible to do.

the trick is probably setting everything to minor key. surprise... yoongi’s challenging title tracks are all in major key. boy with luv: minor key, interesting. the former are extremely difficult for him to do so hats off. “shadow” is more suitable for his baritone as is “burn it”. it needs a very heavy, dark track. which is why it’s good that yoongi has that kind of public image. a baritone’s best genre is not super light and whimsical. that’s why all of our baritone faves are not main vocalists but main rappers. kai, taehyung, jaehyun: low voices in vocal lines are soldiers.

---

now a note on yoongi’s best method of singing since it reflects his voice type and brings out the fullness of it. as in, how does it crack and strain less? guess why “사람” is yoongi’s favorite d-2 song to sing. it’s ALL his comfortable range and the singing — very beautifully done —  is in mixed register (= head + chest)! which imo might be his secret weapon. it allows him to do what he longs to do successfuly without going extremely high. bingo.

because: even with baritones, the golden middle is still important. they’re not as deep as a bass, after all. that’s why their voices are so honey-laced in the mixed range and it sounds amazing. heaven, their timbre sounds so seductive. so, it’s wonderful when they find their middle and dare to sing. 

i wish yoongi gets/makes more tracks aimed at just that. in “outro tear” he has to go both too low and too high so it takes a lot of production effort to patch it together. the rapline is doing god’s work to make all their voices sound cohesive without being trained singers. it’s always a trade-off and risk, an immense balance act. “paldogangsan” is hard on yoongi’s voice but works as a whole plus it caters to namjoon to carry the song’s message. the cyphers are chopped up and not chart-friendly but each member is in their comfort zone. 

PS: i said bts’ rap line covers all registers except one. i think that jin is the one to complete bts’ entire spectrum coming from the vocal line. i’m no whistle note expert but dionysus went pretty high up there, i think he might be able to do it. it’s very impressive, even jungkook and jimin probably don’t have access to that register. so, another point for bts being a very ‘complete’ group.

#anon #ask #cub mail 🐆 #vocal analysis #yoongi #suga #bts #baritones #tenors #mixed register #long post

[winterhawkwonderland]

2020 Exchange Round up!

It’s here!!! An easy to find complete list of works from our 2020 Winterhawk Wonderland Exchange event. It is listed by title of work and author or artist, and includes rating, summary, and word count (if applicable). Our event excluded any of the AO3 Big Four warnings, but please do check tags and warnings on each work before diving in, just in case you find something there that squicks or triggers you!

Once again, thank you all so much for participating and making this a great event! Love the Winterhawk fandom!

If you do not see your work listed, please contact the Mods and we will update the post - all works were pulled from the AO3 Collection, but it’s possible we overlooked something or made a mistake! Additionally - Tumblr (in true Tumblr fashion) would not let us tag some creators - their names are on the list but the hyperlink doesn’t work. We apologize for the technical difficulty, but have no way of fixing broken Tumblr links. Please know that no offense was intended. 

The 300 Club by @fosterthefuture for @gwhell. Rated T, 10,109 words “Me here?” Bucky asks, a little hysterically. “What do you expect me to do, be the one to haul your frozen body in from the snow bank you inevitably fall into and die in?”Clint chuckles, as though what Bucky’s asked is completely illogical, which it decidedly is not. “Nah, you can suit up if you want to come along to make sure I stay on track, but I’ll make it back just fine. I really just need you to be here to make sure the door stays open, help me get my boots off and into those blankets when I get back.”“Clint,” Bucky asks, eyes now closed. “Please tell me you wouldn’t do this if you were completely alone.”The silence that emanates from the sauna is telling.“Well,” Clint finally says, “I’m trying to not get into the habit of lying to you, Barnes.”

40k misunderstandings by @verdantbogmoth for @flawsinthevoodoo. Not Rated, 3,280 words. “Are they real?” Bucky gasps. “Who keeps bags of real rose petals just lying on hand?”“Tony, for special random events and for us to steal to have fun with,” Clint supplies helpfully. “Where do they go?”“Everywhere,” Bucky decides. “The couch, the table, the fucking tv stand.” Clint pops the bag and they spend several minutes turning Bucky’s living area into a very perfumed, petal draped nightmare. “Oh, my god.” Bucky says gleefully. “It looks like a porno,” Clint claps. “A serial killer porno!” Bucky amends. “This is fantastic. Why aren’t rose petals everywhere, always. Why don’t more people just throw them around for any old event?”

[ART] Christmas fluff by @elynehil for @chekov-in-a-dress. Rated G. Winterhawk Wonderland gift :)

[ART] Cooking By The Book by @not-the-blue for @thegrowingwordsmith. Rated G.  Clint attempts a holiday recipe from Bucky's childhood. He... might need a second attempt.

[art] i (heart) hawkeye by @gwhells for @lantaniel. Rated G. Art for lantaniel for the Winterhawk wonderland gift exchange!

[ART] i still feel this way when light catches your face by @quicksillver for @sevdrag. Rated G. Winterhawk Wonderland gift! :)

An Affinity for Elf Culture by @bella-dahlia for @trekchik. Rated T. 8,501 words. When Bucky Barnes was told he would be doing press and community outreach as part of his prosthetic program, no one mentioned to him it would involve dressing up like an Elf from the North Pole.The hella cute blonde elf in head to toe purple hadn't been brought up either.Hiding in his hoodie wasn't going to be an option, was it?

All I Want for the Holidays Is You by @merelypassingtime for @flowerparrish. Rated G. 7,205 words. Clint obligingly took the last name in the hat. Unfolding it he read the name, Bucky. Crap. What was he supposed to do with that? When Clint draws Bucky’s name for the Avengers holiday gift exchange, he struggles to find the perfect gift.

as long as it’s with you by @theproblemwithstardust for @theonlyceeceej. Rated T. 2,651 words. Clint didn’t know when the thing between him and Bucky became an actual thing. At some point the banter had evolved from a fun and engaging way to pass the time into a weirdly competitive game of flirting chicken.

A bad day turned good by @gabrielsammysangel for @misterknife. Rated G. 1,115 words.  Clint Barton was having a bad day, one kiss to take it all away. Aka how a full bad day can be wipped away when you have a good boyfriend.

Bandages and Soot by @fanbinbun for @hawkguyandthewinterdude. Rated T. 2,358 words. “Oh, you’re new. Hi! I’m Clint. I come here often.” “I have been warned.” Bucky said with amusement curling his lips. “Got a name, or should I just give in and start calling you ‘hot nurse’?”

Because of Coffee and a Chocolate Doughnut. by @jazzrose343 for @loonyloopylisa. Rated M. 5,257 words. Bucky is an Actor. Clint is stunt actor and coordinator. Shenanigans Happen

Better Than Fine by @vexbatch for @theproblemwithstardust. Rated T. 4,439 words. Clint promised Kate he'd bring a plus one to her engagement party, but now he needs to find one. Maybe Bucky will do him a favor? Maybe Clint's crush on Bucky won't be a problem for said favor?

[ART] The Cat doesn't agree by @misterknife for @Inktastic1711. Rated G.  5 words. Clint was determined to get the best family photo this year. Except now he's pretty sure that fighting alien hoards or doombot armies might actually be easier than wrangling a cat into a sweater.Bucky says that Alpine's sorry.Clint thinks she might kill him in his sleep.

cause it's just what you must do by @sevdrag for yamyamyam. Rated T. 3,399 words. Clint ducks away at Tony's holiday party for a breather. Little does he know this closet is occupied.

Christmas With the Barnes's by @jstabe for @claraxbarton. Rated T. 3,163 words. He knows Clint is nervous. If he’s honest, he is a little too. He and Clint have been dating just shy of two years but with their hectic work schedules, it’s rare for them to have full days off together so Clint isn’t used to large family gatherings.

The Common Room by @trekchik for @nana-evans. Rated E. 1094 words. No one knows they're together. Right?

Communication is key by @averyrogers83writes for @harishe-art. Rated G. 3,434 words. Bucky screws up and pisses Clint off possibly ruining any chance of having more than a working relationship with the archer.

[ART] Cookies For Two by madnerding for @hopelessly-me. Rated G. 29 words.  My prompt was for cookie decorating and I hope I delivered. Enjoy!

Coping Mechanisms by @mariana-oconnor for @feathers-and-cigarettes. Rated E. 4,321 words. After the events of Freefall, Clint Barton is exhausted, bruised and on everyone's Most Wanted list. Luckily, or unluckily, it's Bucky Barnes who ends up finding him.

Cover Me by @downwarddnaspiral for @feedmecookiesnow. Rated M. 8,618 words. Clint and Bucky end up off the grid and in close quarters. Featuring the world’s crappiest safehouse, a semi-retired spy, and an assassin with strong opinions about the cold.

Delicate, hand wash only by @mollynoble for @pherryt. Rated E. 6,074 words.  “Hey, Buck, what do you need?” Clint moved closer, he wanted to reach out but he resisted the urge, that could be a bad idea right now. “What can I do to help?” He pitched his voice low and soothing. There was a pause, then Bucky's eyes focused on him. “Right now all I want is a bath and then sleep.”

Draw Me Like One of Your Frenchmen by @alchemistdoctor for @thwip. Rated M. 1,410 words. This is written for andthwip in the winterhawk wonderland exchange, who requested sexting during inappropriate times, date night ends in trying a new kink, or getting off in the field. I managed the first two!

Fate or Natasha by bear_shark for @kidd-you-not. Rated G. 1,663 words.  How it ended: Bucky watched the rise and fall of Clint’s chest while he slept. Every few minutes, he would snuffle and rub his face against Bucky’s chest. Bucky’s phone pinged, and he carefully checked his texts. Natasha: How did your date with Clint go? Bucky sat up quickly, jostling Clint. “What the hell?” 

The Fight Before Christmas by @theonlyceeceej for @jstabe. Rated E. 4,040 words. Now, don’t let it be said that Bucky couldn’t take a joke. He could. Really. But sometimes it was just too much. Clint was just too much. Clint is the epitome of a schoolboy with a crush; Pulling pigtails, calling names, the lot! Ok, maybe it was more than a crush, judging by the many thoughts about being thrown around by the Winter Soldier. He just needed to get his attention... But will it work?

For This by @endof-theline for @elynehil. Rated G. 5,652 words. Bucky and Clint are moving in together and it's not just the boys we have to worry about, because Lucky and Alpine are moving too!

Getaway Car by @feedmecookiesnow for @genderfluid-and-confuzled. Rated G. 4,405 words. The guy regains his balance and starts running again. He slips one more time, slides a little more, and then suddenly he’s right next to the car, fumbling at the handle of the passenger side door. A blast of cold wind comes as he yanks it open, practically falling into the seat in a swirl of snowflakes. “Go, go!” he yells, and Clint goes. He doesn’t even question it, just slams the car into drive and shoots out into the street, skidding a little on the ice.

Guardian Angel by @chrissihr for @spacetimeconundrum. Rated T. 3,469 words. Clint attracts strays like moths to flame. All he wanted to do was bring home a puppy he found in a box marked ‘free’ in crayon. It was just sitting out in the rain under the awning in front of his neighborhood pizza place.He couldn't just leave it there ... right?

Hit Me With Your Best Shots by @thegrowingwordsmith for @fosterthefuture. Rated G. 2,185 words. As a barista, Bucky has witnessed a lot of crazy customers and their creations. He has made drinks with so much syrup that there was barely room for coffee, and gotten orders with so many modifications that it had to print on multiple stickers. None, however, even came close to the strangeness of Too Much Caffeine guy.

[ART] How do you like them apples? by @lantaniel for @vexbatch. Rated G.  Because Clint is incapable of 1.doing a calm activity, and 2.not climbing a tree.

Howl by @drgrlfriend for @mariana-oconnor. Rated T. 9,729 words. Excerpt: Bucky gets that uncomfortable feeling again, like he missed something. Lost time maybe. It’s been happening less and less, but it still happens. “I don’t know what you mean.” The man runs a broad hand up the back of his neck, mouth pulling to the side as he seems to consider his words. “Skin feels too tight sometimes? Feels like you gotta keep moving, but no place feels right? Got an ache deep in your bones that you just can’t seem to get rid of?” “What —” Bucky swallows, the rest of the sentence jagged in his throat. He knows there are Avengers who are witches, or telepaths, or whatever, but he’d never heard of Hawkeye being one of them. “How are you — are you in my head? —”

[ART] I got you by @vexedbeverage for @gabrielsammysangel. Rated T. 100 words. I decided I wanted to do some art but then my writing brain told me I couldn't stop there. I've never done a drabble before so I thought I'd give it a try!

I Love How Your Soul is A Mix of Chaos and Art by @flawsinthevoodoo for @merelypassingtime. Rated T. 5,745 words. This is basically a 5+1 where Clint "Borrows" a great many hoodies as a coping mechanism and Bucky decides Clint needs to be a part of his life, not just his laundry.

if these wings could fly by @flowerparrish for @hawksonfire. Rated M. 4,018 words. He waits a few moments, pretty sure he’s going to have to start knocking again, when the door swings open. There’s Bucky, shirtless, disheveled, wings spread out behind him like some kind of tragic painting of an angel. Not that Clint knows much about art, but with the dark colors and dim lights he thinks this could totally have been something one of those old dudes dreamed up.

It Must be Winter in my Heart by @harishe-art for @jazzrose343. Rated G. 3,055 words. It's the holiday season and for some reason Clint and Bucky keep getting mistaken as a couple. They hadn't even planned to meet up most of them time. Why does this keep happening to them?

It was Only a Winter's Tale by @harishe-art for @averyrogers83. Rated G. 1,628 words.  Clint and Bucky prepare to celebrate their first winter holiday together when Bucky has a realization during an argument.

it was peace by @loonyloopylisa for @drgrlfriend. Rated G. 1,932 words. “Um, hi, I’m Bucky?” he said, hating himself for the way it came out like a question. “Hi Bucky,” the man answered, a wide smile on his tan face, “I’m Clint. What can I do for you?” Inwardly thankful for this therapist for making him practice he said, “I was wondering if you had any volunteer opportunities?” Clint gave him a considering look, bright blue eyes narrowed thoughtfully. Bucky was sure he was assessing him and finding him lacking, taking in the missing arm and coming up with a reason Bucky wouldn’t fit in. He was bracing himself for the rejection when Clint said, “sure.”

A Kind of Magic by @sian1359 for bear_shark. Rated G. 7.034 words. Bucky has some help adapting from being Hydra's Winter Soldier to becoming the Avenger's Winter Soldier

Lilac you a lot by @hawkguyandthewinterdude for @harishe-art. Rated T. 6,490 words.  It starts with one purple sock and just escalates from there.

Lost Time by @lissadiane for @vexedbeverage. Rated T. 10,029 words. Clint’s always known the universe doesn’t like him all that much. But all he knows now, as his heart beats out a rhythm and there isn’t a heartbeat to harmonize with it, is that he’s found his soulmate -- and he’s been dead for over 70 years. It’s ironic. It burns. It shouldn’t surprise him. Barney won’t be surprised. Barney’s been saying the universe has it out for them for Clint’s whole life. And this is just further proof. In which soulmates exist but Clint's parents are proof that sometimes, they go terribly wrong.

The Maybe To Your Story by @kangofu-cb for @mollynoble. Rated E. 5,162 words. Bucky walked out of the shared bathroom whistling under his breath, happily ignoring Steve’s groan as he whipped off the towel around his waist to half-assedly swipe at the water droplets on his shoulders. “Oh, you’re still here?” he asked blithely, toweling at his hair. “Might want to shake a leg before you get an eyeful of something you want to see even less than my dick.” “I’m going, I’m going,” Steve grumbled. “Fuck. Can’t believe I’m getting sexiled for the third time this week. For Barton.” Or, instead of talking about their feelings, Clint and Bucky decide to fuck about it.

my hands no longer an afterthought by @shatteredhourglass for @quicksillver. Rated T. 2,922 words. Bucky's moving on with his life. Shaking off the Soldier. There's still that one nagging, blond idiot-shaped regret, though.

Nowhere to go but with you by Lacerta for @sian1359. Rated G. 5,905 words. Clint fights the urge to cross his arms, keeping them hanging loosely by his sides instead, and forces himself to relax his shoulders. It’s just a small precaution in case he needs to react fast but, god, he hopes it doesn’t come to that. He doubts any precaution that doesn’t include a loaded weapon would help him last more than a minute. He watches the man sitting across the kitchen table from him, curled in on himself under Clint’s warmest blanket with his hands wrapped around a steaming cup of coffee, and tries to wrap his head around the very unusual, very alarming situation he has gotten himself into.

On The Fifth Day of Christmas, The Winter Soldier Stole For Me..... by @ch3ls3ara3 for @alchemistdoctor. Rated T. 8,178 words.  “Are these pears? Why the hell is there a pear tree in my apartment?” he asked Lucky who was now sitting patiently, staring up at the bird with his tongue hanging out and tail wagging. “What is happening?” Clint Barton knew he was a disaster, it never really shocked him anymore when he ended up in strange situations. These twelve days leading up to Christmas, though? Those days he would have never seen coming.

the one where Clint hates christmas horror by @thwip for @bella-dahlia. Rated M. 2,898 words. “We take turns, Clint. This week is Nat’s turn, next week is yours,” Tony quips, sipping from his own mug. “We can watch The Holiday, for the third year in a row, then.” Clint opens his mouth and starts to protest Tony’s eye roll because The Holiday is a cinematic masterpiece and Kate Winslet may give her best performance yet, Tony! Not to mention Cameron Diaz! Singing Mr Brightside! It’s a great film, when the front door opens and Bucky and Steve walk in, laughing about something. Clint's mouth snaps shut and his eyes immediately flicking towards Bucky, admiring the way the navy fabric of his henley clings to the thick biceps that are almost bursting out of it.

Operation Snowbound by RedTeamShark for @heartonfirewrites. Rated G. 4,048 words. The mission is a simple job: tag a convoy as it drives through the pass and then skedaddle back down the mountain. Easy enough that Clint could do it in his sleep. And he doesn’t even have to pull the trigger, that’s what Bucky’s there for. Until an unexpected weather event leaves the two of them stranded on a mountainside in a blizzard, battling the cold, Clint’s taste in coffee, and Bucky’s idea of idle conversation.

Outside the World by @pherryt for @verdantbogmoth. Rated G. 4,767 words. Bucky doesn't really remember who he is, and what little he does remember is impossible. All his therapists have said so. There's no way he can be who he thinks he is - a character from a children's book.And yet, the world around him just doesn't *feel* right - its too dark, too colorless and doesn't match the vibrancy of his dreams. Dreams he tries to capture both on paper and on his walls.Bucky doesn't have any answers he can count on, just the hat he's kept all these years, but that guy that started following him - as vibrant and eye-catching as the pieces of Bucky's dreams -Well, he just might.

The Prince's "Delivery Boy" by allyouneedissleep for @endof-theline. Rated T. 4,917 words. He wouldn’t have any issues at all with the secrecy rules stating that only people in confirmed legal marriages could tell their significant other about their job if he was planning to marry anyone except the Prince who was first in line to take over as King of Brooklyn after his marriage went through. Clint was about to effectively become Queen of Brooklyn and he couldn’t even tell his fiance what he did for a living. As far as Bucky knew, he was a delivery boy. A DELIVERY BOY.

[ART] Snow Way Out! by @inktastic1711 for @fanbinbun. Rated G. 24 words. Prompt: While on a mission, Clint and Bucky end up on an impromptu sledding trip down the snowy hill/mountain to escape the bad guys. Bonus points if the sled isn't actually a sled.

Snowed In by @chekov-in-a-dress for @ch3ls3ara3. Rated T. 4,332 words.  Secret Santa Story for CarafeOfColdBrew! Dad Bucky and his daughter Nat are on their way to Bentonsport where Bucky is supposed to check out a possible site to build a resort when they get overwhelmed by a snowstorm. How lucky that they get pointed to a bed and breakfast owned by a certain handsome dork.

So much to say (I just can't speak) by @hopelessly-me for Allyouneedissleep. Rated T. 3,260 words. Bucky has never considered himself the jealous type. But when Steve and Clint start hanging out more and more, Bucky starts pulling back to protect his own feelings.

Some Luck by @claraxbarton for @not-the-blue. Rated T. 3,558 words. “Cowboys?” he asked. Judith smiled at him. “I love to give my darlings what they want.”

a storm is comin' in by @heartonfirewrites for @chrissihr. Rated T. 9,686 words. Sasquatches don’t exist. Clint is sure of it. So what’s that fuckin' bigass yeti doing outside Tony’s upstate cabin in the middle of a nor’easter, looming ominously and ruining Clint’s plans for a quiet Christmas alone with Lucky?

Time and Time Again by @pherryt for @shatteredhourglass. Rated E. 6,497 words. The past has a way of catching up to people and Clint knows that better than most. Despite that ingrained life lesson, he still doesn't expect it when a part of Steve's past turns out to also be part of Clint’s. He's... not sure where to go from here.

too cold to feel (but i know you're there) by @hawksonfire for @trashcanakin. Rated T. 1,983 words.  Clint’s been cold his whole life. He doesn’t mind, really, has learned to always keep a pair of gloves on him, even in the summer. He gets weird looks for it, but he stopped caring what people thought of him a long time ago. His apartment has always got spare blankets laying around, and his dresser is jam packed with thick pairs of socks.

[ART] A Walk in the Woods by @spacetimeconundrum for @downwarddnaspiral. Rated T.  One finds the strangest things in the woods...

What's a Guy Like You Doing in a Place Like This by @sevdrag for @kangofu-cb​. Rated T. 8,091 words. A 5+1 fic for Winterhawk Wonderland: Five Times It Wasn't A Date, and One Time It Actually Was.

Word Search by yamyamyam for RedTeamShark. Rated T. 3,858 words. Bucky doesn't understand why he should have to see a doctor about a measly little bullet wound. Steve doesn't understand why that would be optional, Jesus Christ, Buck, we can have nice things now. Clint doesn't understand why he can't visit Bucky in the super-secure lockdown ward. The NYFD doesn't understand why Clint can't get out of a baby swing without the jaws of life. Natasha doesn't understand why she puts up with any of these idiots.

[ART] You Come Here Often? by @trashcanakin​ for Madnerding. Rated G.  winterHawk in the vents.

You had me at Loathing by @kidd-you-not​ for Lacerta. Rated T. 5,715 words. "What?" he asks absolutely no one, completely baffled. Movement to his left catches his eye and he twists around, still hanging from the balcony railing by his legs, and gapes. There, right there on the adjourning apartment building, is a man. A man clad all in black, with chestnut brown hair falling to his chin and a mask covering the lower part of his face. Holding a sniper rifle in his right hand and giving Clint a mocking little salute with the left. "Motherfucker!" Clint screams. Hawkeye and the Winter Soldier work for competing companies. Unfortunately for everyone involved, they cross paths on more jobs than either of their handlers can endure.

Honorable Mention:

The Opposite of Love by @teeelsie-posts for @loonyloopylisa. Rated E. 10,000 words. You know that social media post where the guy says he’s a felon and he’ll come terrorize your family for Thanksgiving in exchange for a free meal? Yeah, that’s what this is. Except that Clint is Clint, and Bucky is Bucky, and they’re both Avengers, but Clint’s family is a bunch of assholes and Bucky decides to help him out with that. Oh, and it’s Christmas, not Thanksgiving. Mod Note: This fic was begun for last year’s exchange then discarded for another idea, but Teeelsie finished it unexpectedly and asked permission to include it in this year’s collection and we were happy to allow that. Please enjoy!

#winterhawk #winterhawk wonderland exchange 2020 #event round up #masterpost #master post #NOW WITH TAGS

[anxiouslyfred]

Time Increases and Falls

Summary: Virgil doesn’t want to meet his soulmate after the things his brother has said since finding his. He doesn’t try to avoid meeting them though, not even by making choices to deliberately increase the countdown to meeting on his wrist.

/\/\

Most people didn't check the timers on their wrists very often. Society thought that chasing the timers obviously was immoral, a sign of impatience and desperation.

Arguing against that, and giving Roman a chance to actually try and find his soulmate had originally started Remus checking his timer regularly, but now it had become a game. How would making decisions in his life change the time it would take to meet his soulmate? Also how many reasons could Remus imagine for unexpected jumps up in the time they had until meeting?

The actual time wasn't really motivating for Remus. He'd meet his soulmate eventually and the timer changed too often for him to try and predict when. It was fun occasionally to make a decision based purely over which had the shortest time to meeting his soulmate, but then again, it was also fun sometimes to change decisions over which would cause the most chaos.

He was certain that his soulmate did pay attention to it though, and often made sure to chose the option that increased how long they'd take to meet. Remus had an entire list of excuses for the commiserating glances people gave if they happened to see his timer jump up, which given timers were on the back of the wrist, rarely covered by sleeves, was quite often.

Virgil didn't want a soulmate. He'd witnessed Patton and Logan meeting and how they now treated each other and something about it made his skin crawl. They'd dote on each other and insist on constantly being together through any possibly difficult situation, to comfort, protect or help. His parents though it was sweet but Virgil just thought it sounded exhausting, like they'd decided to abandon being individual people after meeting despite how different they were.

No he didn't want to lose his identity or spend every waking moment glued to the side just because a timer reached zero when they met. He liked his own space, thank you very much. That didn't mean he was trying to avoid their meeting though, just that he didn't mind each time he learnt later the timer had once again had days added to it.

Honestly his anxiety did seem to be a primary cause of delays to their meeting and that was pretty much the only good thing Virgil could say about the condition. Someone would comment asking if he was excited about meeting them when the counter got to be within a few days, and the surge of fears about what that could mean for his identity would make him back out of some event or other. Even if the event was nowhere close to the time they should be meeting dodging it would increase the time.

Of course there were also times when he'd deliberately try to keep all his appointments, to concerned about Patton and Logan attempting another intervention that he would push himself to keep to the choices he'd made. The timer would still increase, and Virgil couldn't find any explanation for it other than he would have gotten distracted by something along the way that changed their chances of meeting.

His timer had once again gotten to a matter of days before he was meant to meet this soulmate and Virgil was wondering when it would change again, double checking whenever he was alone to see if he'd inadvertently messed up their future meeting again.

His life still needed to be lived though so Virgil was doing a weeks grocery shop and trying to ignore the nosey glances everyone shot to each others wrists. They should be able to cope without knowing if he had a soulmate yet or not, but everyone did it automatically now.

“Oh, are you going to be doing something special for your meeting?” The cashier asked, making no attempt to hide her staring as she scanned all the items.

Normally Virgil would brush comments like that off, except there was something big happening on the day the timer currently indicated. He had a big presentation coming up that would be in front of far too many important people for his career to progress. On top of that stress, the shop had been busier than usual and Patton had called up halfway round to ask if he could get something from right at the front of the store for them. Pushing through the people and making sure he had everything he needed had Virgil clinging onto calm by the thinnest final thread and that question was breaking point.

He'd shaken his head violently, paying by card as quickly as he could before running out of the store, bags in hand, with no glance spared for the timer on his wrist that he'd just felt change. Experience said it would just had extended anyway.

Virgil managed to get the bags shoved into his car before leaning against it, trying to remember any grounding exercise he could to calm down. Nothing was working and he started to turn and walk somewhere, anywhere, just get the excess energy out of his limbs enough that he could drive.

He made it two steps before finding himself on the ground under a complete stranger, a shopping cart rolling further through the car park as they watched. “Dude, what the bloody hell were you doing? Trying to go cart racing with a trolley or something?” Virgil glared up, but froze as the usually unnoticeable movement of his timer vanished.

The man must have felt the same thing as he scrambled back, pulling Virgil back to his feet quickly too. “No but that sounds like an awesome idea if you want to try it. I bet there's something in there I could use to rig up an engine for a trolley too. I'm Remus and you're my soulmate.”

“Virgil and if you're doing crazy shit like that I'm not getting involved.” There was none of the need Patton and Logan had claimed came from being soulmates to stick with Remus and Virgil couldn't be more relieved about that. It still wouldn't convince him to put his life at risk for the maniac.

“Setting boundaries straight off. How long do I have to know you before I can push them?” Remus didn't seem phased by the harsh tone, just nodding along and absently watching his shopping cart as it finally stopped against a curb.

The question was one nobody had asked before, and probably nobody else would ever think of asking, but it made Virgil relax. “At least a few months. If you pull the have to be around each other 24/7 thing my brother pulls with his soulmate make it a few years.”

“I get you, everyone needs their space to do insane stunts on their owns sometimes. Can I have your number to at least stay in touch?” Remus pulled his phone out, pouting as he saw a car swerve to avoid hitting the cart. “Come on! You should've hit it! Charged the supermarket for lack of places to return carts to or something!”

Taking the phone, Virgil snickered at the yell. “Couldn't they just turn that back on you? I mean your shopping is in there.”

“And I'm stood all the way over here where we fell ages ago. Either they shouldn't make their car parks slope enough for the trolley to roll that far or they should give them like auto breaks for when the carts roll to fast.” Remus nodded as though that was entirely logical. “Also so I can test just how good auto breaks would make trolleys at sending me flying. Ro always holds back when trying to make a cart stop.”

“Okay, I'll add that to the million questions this meeting has given me. I've already text myself from your phone so we've got each others number, but I've got frozen stuff to get home before it's dangerous to refreeze it again. And you better be getting that cart back because I am not helping to replace anything you lose in your idiocy.” Virgil decided, finding that somewhere in talking to Remus he'd calmed down properly again.

Remus was chasing through the car park as soon as he'd taken his phone back, promising to call later over his shoulder.

Virgil had never wanted a soulmate, but he could be happy with whatever kind of adventure just talking to Remus was going to be.

#virgil sanders #remus sanders #soulmate au #dukexiety #background logicality

[imlostinsantacarla]

Anonymous said: Hi! What do you think the Outsiders(including Tim & Curly) ideal girl would be like personality-wise and/or looks-wise

(a/n: heya lovely! i’m just letting you know that i wasn’t comfortable writing about the ideal looks they went for as i’ve seen a lot of these types of imagines posted and most of them are blonde haired, blue eyed white girls. i really want to begin ensuring that my writing is inclusive to as many people as i can, and i also don’t think the boys would be too knit-picky on their partners looks. so, i’ve mainly focused on the “ideal” personalities instead, which btw are just my own opinions on how i view the characters, as well! - admin kat🌙❣)

DISCLAIMER: i would like to give an ENORMOUS shoutout to @the-outsiders-blogg for their help in creating this piece! they helped me come up with some initial ideas (which i used) for what each of the boys would find ideal in a partner personality wise, as well as editing this piece and helping me add some new parts in. this is especially the case for steve, whom i find the most challenging to write for! but now i feel like i have a better grip on his character. so thank you so much for all of your help hun! also you all need to follow them bc their imagines, gifs and memes are just the most spectacular! ❤

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

The Gang + The Shepard Brothers Ideal Types Personality Wise Preferences:

Darry Curtis:

° I think that it’s a no brainer that Darry would date someone who’s got a more mature outlook on life and mindset in general. He doesn’t really have time or energy to invest into a relationship with someone who’s going to throw tantrums and storm out like a child. Darry has two kid brothers and a gang of friends who are pros at that, he needs someone who can keep their cool.

° He’s also going to be looking for someone who is much more grounding and soothing since he’s stressed 25/7 from raising two kid brothers, paying the bills on time and having his buddies crash at his house almost everyday.

° I believe as well that Darry would be looking for a more stable relationship, particularly one that’s long term. Darry doesn’t have the time to invest in something short term that doesn’t go anywhere. If he’s going to be with someone, he’s going to be very serious about it.

° He needs someone who’s good at communicating. Sometimes he holds in all of his emotions until they explode out messily. He needs someone who can communicate their points of views in an adult-like fashion. Also, by you speaking about your emotions it tends to open the door a crack to allow him to open up emotionally to you also, which is initially quite challenging for Darrel to do.

° Darry will need to be with someone who isn’t too sensitive. In his eyes there’s nothing wrong with sensitivity, it’s just that his words can come out rather brashly, especially when he’s high with emotion and often he’ll say things in the heat of the moment that he truly did not mean. So in other words, he needs to be with a partner that won’t take what he says to heart and will take things with a pinch of salt.

Sodapop Curtis:

° With all of the listening and diligent advice giving that this boy hands out, he’s going to need a significant other that can also do the same for him. I mean, the poor boy is only a human, he has troubles, insecurities, fears, worries, hopes and dreams just like the rest of us. He’ll also need them to be a bit patient with him because he’ll often feel guilty when he comes to you with his issues, it makes him feel weak. So all in all, he is looking for a partner in which he can develop a strong emotional connection to.

° Sodapop is definitely an adventurous and spontaneous young man and is eager to find a partner that is up to having fun with him, at least some of the time. This could be when you sit on his lap during a drag race, attending rodeos with him, going to parties and having a blast of a time by dancing the night away, the list goes on! As long as you’re up to doing some fun things with him, he’s down to be with you.

° Introversion, ambiversion or extroversion really doesn’t matter to Sodapop. He will love his partner to their very core, warts and all! As long as you’re a good person, Sodapop doesn’t really care. He’s understanding of everybody and will ensure that you’re comfortable no matter what when you’re dating him. 

° Obviously he’s going to want to be with someone who’s both trustworthy and honest, for obvious reasons regarding his ex Sandy. There’s also going to have to be some patience coming from your part. I mean, he’s over her now, but the insecurity of someone breaking his heart again like she did is a pretty intense fear of his. But that’s okay, because you naturally help soothe that insecurity of his: When you say you only have eyes for this dreamy guy, you mean it!

Ponyboy Curtis:

° Ponyboy would definitely lean towards being with someone that is more in touch with their femininity and their sensitive qualities. This is surely due to the fact that he too is quite sensitive. He wants to share sunrises and sunsets, along with his thoughts of movies and books with his partner, since he can’t exactly share that much with anyone else in the gang.

° Ponyboy also loves creativity and sports, so he’s going to look for someone with either a passion for creativity or sports, maybe even science. He enjoys practicing your sport with him and bouncing creative ideas off of you. You two would make the perfect study partners!

° He’s also going to look for someone who’s a good listener because he has a lot of intense thoughts swirling around in his noggin most of the time. He’d be super grateful for it and shyly thank you, returning the favor tenfold. Pony believes in making sure that what he receives he puts out back to you just as handsomely.

° Ponyboy is definitely an introvert and that’s awesome! I feel that he’d be down to be in a relationship with another introvert, but he’s also going to need someone that will bring him out of his shell a little. He’s going to be with someone that he feels he can trust and fully relax around, which is why he’s able to share his interests and thoughts with you so fluently. So, regardless, his emotional connection to you needs to be strong in order for him to speak more and open up.

Johnny Cade:

° Johnny has a whole host of issues mentally and emotionally, so it’s incredibly important that he is with a significant other that displays qualities of compassion, patience and support. Having someone he can go to is an important step in him allowing his walls to slowly break down. If he’s talking to you without having to be forced to, you know that he’s comfortable around you.

° Again, Johnny is going to need someone who is an excellent listener. It may take some time for him to open up to you, but when he does he’s honest. And you best believe that he’s incredibly grateful to have you. Just like Ponyboy and Sodapop, he’ll also listen to you. He believes that a relationship is a two way street as well.

° Johnny is pretty introverted and shy, there’s no doubt about that. I personally feel that he would be with someone who’s much more independent and enjoys making the decisions in general. It’s going to take some time for him to be comfortable enough to communicate what he wants and why. But your patience comes in handy and eventually he’ll tell you he wants to go see a new movie at the drive-in, etc. Yet initially he’s going to let you make most of the decisions.

° Like Ponyboy, he’s definitely ecstatic to be around another introvert, vibing off of each other would be amazing for him. Silences wouldn’t be awkward and things would just be over all chill. But, I still believe that Johnny needs a partner who can get him to relax in any situation and bring his feisty nature out a little more, since it’s definitely there and we’ve all seen it! The gang find it endearing that Johnny speaks more when you’re around, it makes them happy to see how joyful he is, because that beating from those Soc’s had really left him jumping at the sight of his own shadow. Poor baby!

Dallas Winston:

° Dallas Winston is going to be into someone who is more care-free. Being with someone that’s constantly anxious leaves him feeling on edge and he wants to feel on top of the world, all round relaxed. Especially when it comes to respecting his boundaries. The whole idea of someone attempting to change who he is makes it difficult for him to take them seriously as a partner. He’s Dallas Winston, he’s going to do what he wants!

° Like Sodapop, Dallas is looking to be with someone who likes to have fun and bend the rules. Dally is a rule breaker himself, often going out of his way to break the law. He’s not asking for his partner to start shoplifting or pulling crazy stunts like he does, but even minor things will get his adrenaline pumping. Although, he’s not opposed to dating a goody two shoes either!

° In Dally’s eyes, he doesn’t care whether you’re a tomboy, a girly girl or somewhere in between! He picked you because he loves your style and the person that you are, despite how mushy that sounds. He’s never going to admit it though. Maybe he’ll tease you endearingly about it, but that’s about it. There’s something about you that caught Dally’s eye and he knew he just had to have you all to himself.

° Dallas often prefers girls who are confident, headstrong and know what they want, even if they cuss him out in the process. Just take Sherri Valance for an example! She was having none of his crap and her feisty nature really sparked interest in him. So there has to be something personality-wise from you that he also feels he connects to. However, he also has no issue with being with someone who’s quieter and less confident, Dallas is going to make you feel like the luckiest and most breathtaking girl in the world when you’re with him. His louder nature will coax you to relax over time and you’ll start to blossom a little in confidence. He’s not looking to change you, just to get you to relax, because he finds you swell just the way that you are!

Steve Randle:

° In Steve’s books, he prefers individuals with a more masculine energy, regardless of whether they’re male or female. He’s not opposed to being with someone with a more feminine energy to them. It’s just that he really wants to be able to share his passion for both automobiles and sports with his partner. He’s kind of a dork like that.

° This teenage boy is most likely going to need someone who’s able to calm his highly intense energy down. He’s in a constant state of tension, itching to let out his emotions in often brutal ways such as fighting or drag racing. He’s hyperactive and finds it a challenge in itself to soothe that high energy he’s feeling most of the time. So someone who’s more grounding and calming is a sure way to help him unwind. Obviously, you’re not looking to change him because that’s not your job! It’s just that your aura tends to level out the high emotions that pulsate throughout his entire being at full throttle.

° Yet also, it’s very important for Steve to have a partner that he can also have fun with. Much like Soda, he enjoys participating in rodeos, drag races, attending parties, etc. Doing fun activities with his significant other helps them to bond with one another and creates particularly fond memories, this is also vital because it makes him want to be around his partner more. Family and home life is genuinely a drag for Steve, which is why he spends a lot of his time at the Curtis house. To have a partner that will also do spontaneous activities with him, it helps him move beyond his broken family life, and into a space where he can really flourish as a person.

° Once again, this young man will need someone who’s good at listening to him. He’s got a lot of daddy issues, considering he fights on nearly a daily basis with his father, getting kicked out too! This obviously creates a lot of anger inside him, which is why he’s so smart mouthed and quick to jump the gun and invest in a fist brawl, instead of talking things out with someone or letting it go. He feels that he needs to be tough in order for people to not only take him seriously, but also not to step on him. His father steps on him and his emotions too much which has erected a sturdy wall that he let’s few people through. It’s like his defense mechanism.

° This boy is going to love someone who smiles brightly at him. It’s cheesy I know, but there’s nothing better on this planet than his partner being happy. When you smile, all of his worries dissolve!

Two-bit Matthews:

° It’s a no brainer that Two-bit will flock to blondes. They’re his favorite! But what really makes him a sucker for someone is their ability to laugh right along with him. Yes, even at his crummy puns and terrible jokes! The sound of your laugh is genuine music to his ears, he’d do anything and everything to hear it a thousand times a day. The only time he enjoys you crying is when you’re crying of laughter.

° This boy is a bundle of the finest chaotic energy™ known to man, so he too will need someone more grounded to keep him down on the ground. Otherwise, he’d be on Mars by now! His partner would definitely teach him that it’s perfectly okay to feel other emotions that aren’t joy and excitement, and that it’s equally just as important to face those feelings.

° He strives to be with someone who is passionate about something. Anything really! He may not be the brainiest out of the bunch, but he’ll listen to you for hours on your passions. It makes him grin silly and honestly, he likes to at least attempt to learn some things about your interests. For him, a big passion of his is Mickey Mouse! He’ll talk to you about it for hours whilst he watches the television show with you.

° Two-bit also values honesty in relationships. Yes, he’s a grade A liar, but he feels crummy when he lies to his partner or is lied to by his partner. So he always does his utmost finest to ensure that he’s being as honest as possible. This is especially the case when a joke of his upsets you in any way, shape or form. If it goes too far then he wants to know. He can be a bit scatterbrained and may forget, but he wants you to be comfortable with and around him. He won’t settle for anything less.

Tim Shepard:

° Funnily enough, I believe that he would go for someone a lot softer than him since he likes the contrast. He’s all about that opposites attract trope, even sometimes his own gang have to bat their eyelids to make sure they weren’t imagining who they were seeing with their gang leader. They don’t necessarily have to be a goody-goody, just not as harsh as he is. It makes him hopeful in the world when he can bag someone kinder than him.

° Nevertheless, Tim wants to be with someone who has a mind of their own as well as having the capability to stand up for themselves. He loves protecting them, but he also wants to breathe easy when he’s not around you, comforted silently in the fact that you can handle your own. I mean, it’s a turn on for him when his partner can run their mouth, despite looking innocent. Like hands down, it’ll probably get him in the mood asap!

° Although Tim isn’t sold on expressing many emotions, he’s aware that they’re there, bubbling under the surface. So, Tim will definitely be with someone that he feels he is able to emotionally connect with. He doesn’t even have to vocalize this, it’s just something that he knows inside of his head and can feel when he’s around the person. It means that you’ve both got a strong connection together, which he’s not really got with many people in his life, considering how brutal his home-life really is.

° He also wants to be with someone who is trustworthy and honest. Tim doesn’t have the time to waste on two-timers. Usually when he settles into a relationship, it’s for the long term.

Curly Shepard:

° It’s canon that Curly Shepard isn’t the smartest kid out there in the world, so he probably seeks out someone who sees past that and can really get him as the person that genuinely cares deeply about him and wishes to get to know him. Because Curly is actually quite fun to be around, he’s always got some sort of idea to kill the time!

° In all honesty, Curly’s going to be most attracted to an individual that will be prepared to cause at least a little bit of trouble with him. You’re usually the one who ensures that you both don’t get caught. The whole experience is such a rush that you’re both grinning widely at each other afterwards.

° He’s most likely going to go for someone more extroverted or at least someone who is an ambivert as Curly would have a challenging time when it comes down to understanding someone who’s more introverted and shy. It’s not to say he wouldn’t like them, he just will assume that they’re quiet and withdrawn because they don’t like him, even if they do. But he definitely doesn’t think that there’s anything wrong with introverts! I mean, Ponyboy Curtis is one of his good buddies, after all.

° Curly is quite spontaneous himself, enjoying it when he switches things up. He becomes bored with little effort, so he needs to keep himself busy, and what better way to do that when he can cause all sorts of trouble! You low-key do have to remind him that climbing a telephone pole again would result in another broken arm, but he does it anyway!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

please like, reblog and follow for more!

requests: open!

#darrycurtis #sodapopcurtis #ponyboycurtis #johnnycade #dallaswinston #steverandle #twobit #timshepard #curlyshepard #the outsiders #the outsiders imagines #the outsiders preferences #darry curtis imagines #sodapop curtis imagines #ponyboy curtis imagines #johnny cade imagines #dallas winston imagines #steve randle imagines #two-bit matthews imagines #tim shepard imagines #curly shepard imagines #i hope you enjoyed it! #admin kat

[friccinfricks]

Ben Hardy x Reader Headcannons, LONG.

This was originally titled “Ben x American!Reader” but idk how I feel about that, America’s lame. So, if you’re not an American, sorry, there are still some references to that, but otherwise it’s pretty generalized. Sorry! Nobody asked for this butttttt

- You probably met through Joe during Bohemian Rhapsody - When Joe met Ben, he just knew you two would get along - So he called you and insisted you visit him in London - “What?? Why??” - “There’s someone here I need you to meet” - He flew you out a week later, when they were doing the farm/Love of My Life/Bohemian Rhapsody scenes - He was so excited to see you, he rushed off the set to pick you up and twirl you around in a hug - “Y/N! You’re here!” - “Of course I’m here, I wouldn’t miss an opportunity to see Europe with you old friend!” - You catch Ben’s eye immediately - Joe introduces you to the rest of the cast, saving him for last - When you’re finally formally introduced, he can’t take his eyes off you - He’s in his wig and the blue button up, which is surprisingly silky - You find this out when you greet him with a hug, it’s warm and inviting - He smells lightly of cigarettes, but also of cologne - When you pull back, his arm lingers on your shoulder, a shy smile on his face - You come to the set everyday with Joe, for “encouragement” - But it’s really just so you can keep his chair warm (but it’s ineffective because the UK do be cold) - Ben notices this as the shooting goes on, and starts bringing an extra hoodie or jacket everyday, even when they move locations - He smiles when he sees your face light up - “You brought this, for me?” - “I saw you shivering yesterday, and since Joe is making you sit here all day, I thought I might as well try to make you less miserable.” - “Aw, thank you!” - He likes when you give it back to him at the end of the day, because by then it smells like you - You take turns bringing each other tea/coffee/hot chocolate (although it’s mostly you bringing it) - The rest of the BoRhap Boys make fun of you two alllll the time -Lucy’s kind of your closest confidante - One day towards the end of shooting, you run into her trailer where she’s packing up her bags - You’re wearing one of Ben’s navy blue hoodies - It’s way too big for you, but you’re so warm and toasty you don’t even care - “Lucy!” - “What?! Is something wrong?”

- You’re giggling like a fiend - “I need you to hide me” - “What?” - “I stole something from Joe and now he’s after me” - “What did you take?” - She’s asking you questions but she’s already moving things around so you can hide behind the small couch in the trailer - It doesn’t take long for Joe to come pounding on the door - “I know she’s in there! Let me in!” - “Whom? I don’t know who you’re talking about.” - “Y/N!!!” - Eventually he makes it into the trailer, immediately moving things around trying to find you - You’re trying super hard not to giggle - Ben sees Lucy standing in the doorway of the trailer and hears Joe’s yelling - “What’s going on?” He asks as he walks up to her - “Joe’s mad at Y/N because she took his picture of him and you from his make up station.” - Ben smirks and walks into the trailer, watching Joe tickle you while you’re squealing on the couch - “Give it back!” - “But... ah!... but you both look so cute in it! Please!” - “No! Get your own cute picture with Ben!” - Ben starts cracking up, approaching you two - Joe looks up at him, knowing about both of you and your feelings for each other - “We can take a cute picture if you want, Y/N” - You calm down your breathing, sit up, sigh, and reach into the pocket of the hoodie - “Fine, here” You say, feigning defeat - Joe takes it and victoriously kisses it, patting Ben’s shoulder - “I’m gonna get that fucking picture...” You mutter - And you do, eventually - You get many, many cute pictures and polaroids - At the wrap party after the last day of shooting, Ben asks if you’ll be going back to America soon - You tell him that you don’t have a return flight set up yet, but that you’ll probably have to go sometime soon - He asks you on a few dates, and it goes really well - But unfortunately you have to go back home - It’s a sad goodbye, but Ben insists that he’s going to call you everyday - And he does - Once a month he sends you a bouquet of your favorite flowers, always around the time of your period - He leaves little notes/cards with them, usually along the lines of        a. “Hello love, hope you’re doing alright this week, I know it’s not the best.”        b. “I’m thinking of you! Stay warm, let me know if you want another sweater.” - Among other cute things.  - When award show season comes around, he doesn’t even pretend to get a hotel room - “So, is your apartment ready for me?” - “It’s been ready for you! For months!” - The only downside is that he wasn’t able to bring Frankie - You guys rock the red carpet together - He can’t keep his hands off you, constant compliments - He’s v protective of you, holding/covering your drink when you go to the bathroom - You know that video of him and Joe at the 7/11??? - Yeah, you’re sitting in the car with Lucy, Rami, and Gwilym waiting for Ben to bring you out a fresh cup of coffee - “You two took forever. You’re not allowed to go on food runs anymore!” - The entire cast and you probably get drunk off your asses at Rami’s house, the ultimate after party. - You probably wake up in a spare bedroom in his button down - He’s next to you, breathing softly - His hair’s a mess and yours is too (not like a, “we fucked last night” but more of a, “we did some dumb shit last night”) - You get up before him and bring him a cup of coffee with just the right amount of cream - When you go downstairs, you see the rest of the cast, sprawled out on couches, making you smile - Everyone complains about the noise, but they quiet down when you distribute cups of coffee and aspirin. - Joe doesn’t even open his eyes when you set his down on the coffee table in front of him, he just says, “thank you Mom” - Once you get back to the room Ben and you shared last night he’s stirring - “Oh, there you are, beautiful” - You softly tell him to shut up and hand him his coffee - You run a hand through his hair when he groans about the sunlight coming through the blinds - He kisses your knuckles after a few sips and complains about his pounding head - Eventually you say goodbye to everyone and catch an uber back to your apartment - He falls asleep on your shoulder on the way back - He leaves a few days later to start shooting for Six Underground - It’s a sad goodbye (again) but you get through it - He does his best to call you when possible, and even introduces you to Ryan Reynolds, who makes fun of how he talks about you all the time - He flies you out to Italy, where you scold him the entire time and tell him to be careful during all of his stunts - “Stop it! sLOW DOWN!” - “Babe I gotta do it for the shot, let me practice before we film” - “Be careful though!” - He’s an utter dork about it and winks at you while he’s practicing - He even winks at you and sticks his tongue out during one of the shots, which makes the editors in post roll their eyes months later when they’re going through the footage - Somehow you wind up rolling your ankle ??? - You’re sight-seeing with him and you’re walking down some steps and ?? - He catches you and pouts when you insist that you’re fine while also hissing in pain when you walk on it - So he carries you back to his hotel and makes you lay down on the bed - You huff and complain but he kisses your forehead and you watch Netflix with him the rest of the day - He takes good care of you, propping it up on a pillow while wrapping you in blankets - He doesn’t even roll his eyes or smirk that much when you complain about the ice being too cold on your foot - You order his favorite (spaghetti carbonara) and you make him watch The Office, the American version - “No! I hate this! The British version came out first, that’s the original!” - “Yeah but this one is better, also, I’m INJURED” - He chuckles and boops your nose and says, “you’re lucky I love you so much” - And that’s the first time he tells you he loves you !!! - You stop mid noodle slurp with wide eyes and turn to him - You blink a couple times, swallow, and tell him you love him too - He smiles and puts an arm around you - A few months after you go back home, you get a call from your boss - They ask you if you’d like to work from home - You mull it over, then ask them if working from home could be done from another country - ... or continent.... - They tell you yes, and you call Ben nearly immediately - “Heyyy baby, remember how you told me you loved me and would support me no matter what?” - “Of course darling, what’s up?” - “How would you feel if I... maybe... moved to London...?” - He doesn’t even answer the question - His voice gets super high and he flips out - “Oh my god, really?!” - “Do you want to stay with me? I promise, my flat’s clean” - “Babe, Frankie misses you so much, when will you be here?” - You chuckle and thank your bosses for the opportunity - Your family isn’t in love with this decision, but they support you - And they like/trust Ben enough to be okay with this - Two months later you’re in London, luggage in hand - You’re looking around the airport, kinda freaked out - He finds you in baggage claim, taking you into a bigggg hug - He won’t stop kissing you !! - “You’re *kisses* so *kisses* beautiful!”  - “Ugh babe stop I just got off a plane, I know I look like crap” - “No. You’re absolutely radiant.” - He helps you with your bags and takes them out to his car - The entire times he’s holding your hand and telling you how excited he is - Your first night there he insists on taking you to his favorite takeout restaurant - It becomes a weekly tradition; takeout every tuesday - Months go by and the pandemic hits - Luckily his shooting for Pixie is done by then - But he’s still bored and on edge - You guys watch the news, but after a while it just becomes too depressing - You sleep in a LOT together - normally he’s not a morning person anyways, but any semblance of a schedule is now gone - One time you see an ad on the tele about animals more in need - Frankie’s sitting on your lap and you’re rubbing her ears - “Do you want a friend, Frank?” - She just looks up at you with big eyes - “We should get a cat.” You announce - “A cat? Are you crazy?” - “I dunno, I kind of want a cat.” - He just sort of nods slowly, averting his eyes back to the tv - A couple days later when you come back from the store you can’t find him - “Hon? Where’d you go?” - You hear some shuffling and moving around coming from your shared bedroom - “Shh shh no, hush, don’t chew on that, your mum will be so mad if you ruin her lamp” - “Ben?” - “Y/N! Hi love, come in, come in!” - You open the door and you see him sitting on the floor with a little black and white kitten on the floor in front of him - You squeal and drop to your knees - The kitten immediately takes to you, purring while you pet it - “What should we name her?” - It takes the two of you a couple of hours to figure out a name - But you settle on Mariposa, because it almost looks like she’s got butterfly wings on her back - Mariposa and Frankie actually get along really well !! - At first they were afraid of each other, but after having them both for two weeks Mariposa is more than comfortable cuddling with Frankie on one of her doggy beds - Ben complains every now and then about “all the estrogen” in his flat, but you just throw a pillow at him - “You chose Mari! And Frankie! AND ME!”  - Speaking of throwing pillows - That’s kind of your thing when there’s not any hot tea or coffee around - When one of you says something inherently stupid,  - BOOM - Pillow’s thrown at the other - Sometimes this leads to pillow and tickle fights (which somehow he always wins) - And yeah, that’s kind of the only two kinds of fights you guys have - Sometimes there are definitely cultural differences or perspectives, but you usually are able to contain those disputes enough to where no one’s voice is raised and there isn’t any lingering animosity - Ben is aware that you two are different people from different upbringings, and is mature enough to realize that you won’t agree on everything - BUT that is a great way to push each of you out of your comfort zones - Your relationship is by no means perfect - Especially in the beginning when it was rare for you to see each other when you weren’t on Face Time. - There were ups and downs and very hard times of just... missing him -  But through that entire journey, you never felt as if you weren’t meant to be - You knew that Ben was a hot commodity and as a growing actor he would be getting a lot of attention for how talented and attractive he is - And he knows you get a little worried/insecure/jealous sometimes, so he goes out of his way to show a little bit of extra PDA towards you when he feels it’s appropriate - All in all, he just wants you to know that he thinks you’re the real star of the relationship - His star, anyways - And while he’s done his best to take it slow, holding off on saying “I love you” too soon because he wanted it to mean a lot - He’s got something in the works - A little velvet box that he puts in every pair of pants, because you never know when the right moment arrives - He’s so nervous, too - There have been so so so so many times during quarantine that he’s wanted to just pop the question - But he knows he’s got to have just a little bit of patience - Then, one day, it comes - You’re nauseous as you look at the two parallel lines on the test - You’re freaking out, you have no idea what to do - If Ben even wants kids - If you even want to keep it - You slide down against the bathroom wall, feeling v clammy - After ten minutes, Ben knocks on the door - “Love? You alright?” - “I-um, yeah, one second!” - You stand up, hands trembling and open the door - He’s standing there, a worried look on his face - “What’s wrong, sweetheart?” - You hand him the test - “Sorry, it’s kind of unsanitary.” - This gets a chuckle out of him - It’s hard to read his expression, but you can see he’s trying to hide a smile - “Hold on, stay right there princess” - He disappears into your bedroom and you’re just standing in the doorway like ??? what is he up to ??? - A moment later he comes back and gets on one knee and you’re just... flabbergasted - It takes you a second to comprehend what just happened, but you say yes (duh) - He’s so excited - He kisses your forehead and then your tummy - He insists, and nearly begs to go with you to every OB/GYN appointment - You let him drive you there, and even in the earliest stages of the pregnancy, he’s got an arm on your womb the wholeeee time - At first you told the doctor you didn’t want to know the gender - But then she told you that you’d be having twins - TWINS - So you were like, “fine okay just tell us” - Ben looks like he’s about to faint when the doctor tells you they’re girls - On the car ride back he’s joking the whole time - “Oh my god the amount of ESTROGEN I’ll be dealing with is ASTRONOMICAL”  - The two of you have no idea what to name them - You ask Lucy and Rami, who are trying to conceive - The entire BoRhap cast is sending you suggestions alllllll the time, at any hour of the day - Joe wants you to name them Josefina and Frances since he’s the one who brought you two together - But you’re also planning a wedding simultaneously - You decide it’s going to be a very, very small and soon ceremony - The only people there are your very closest friends and family - Tbh the most expensive element was probably your dress - You get married two months after your engagement - And go through a very rigorous pregnancy - The twins are born with slight complications, which makes Ben worry about you the whole time - You end up naming them Ilsa and Delia, both beautiful and healthy - They for sure have Ben’s green eyes and your hair - And yeah - Life isn’t perfect, but it’s pretty damn close - Ben loves you and all his girls - Because you’re his girls - He’s a good and compassionate father, and his parents love to babysit for you - And if there’s such thing as a happily ever after, - This is it.

#ben hardy headcanon #ben hardy x reader #ben jones headcanon #ben jones x reader #ben hardy #ben jones #sorry i could have written about this for FOREVER

[rainydayhogwartsimagines]

Okay so I heard Fred Weasley and rushed to your askbox afgjji.

I've got the biggest cliche for you, love - Best friends to lovers via truth or dare. Idk why, it's low-key an underused trope and I'm so in love with it it's hilarious lmaoo. Obviously if you feel like writing this.

Also, could the reader be house-neutral or Slytherin? Thank you!!❤️

First off: love your username? Second off I am a simp for this trope omfg

Warnings: Really funny? I don't know why I made this one funny but I did. Oh and swearing.

George had had enough. This was getting to be so fucking ridiculous. He watched his brother fall MADLY in love with you and kept it a secret. The problem? You came to him and told him "I like Fred" and begged him to stay quiet. Fucking morals. Fucking. Fuck.

George had many failed attempts of trying to get you two dumbasses together, all of them interrupted or didn't go quite as planned. There was the game of twister where you some how ended up on top of Harry rather than Fred, there was the game of strip poker where Ron ended up nearly naked (you and Fred seeked revenge for a stunt he pulled on you two a few weeks before), the weird ass drinking game where you did kiss Fred but both of you were so drunk off of your asses you didn't remember anything (neither did George to be fair), the pictionary game that somehow resulted in a fire (thanks Neville for accidentally allowing Trevor to jump on the sketchpad) and worst of all-- the game of 21 questions that resulted in finding out Draco secretly bleached his hair and that it WASN'T natural and Fred chasing the boy down the hall with hair dye screaming "LET ME DO IT THIS TIME I'VE GOT A PLAN YOU LITTLE BASTARD"

You and Fred were so stupidly oblivious and it was frustrating as fuck for George who knew exactly what was going on. Another game night in the common room took place, playing a slightly tamer game of truth or dare. Course it was a little off the rails thanks to Fred and George but then again, would it really be game night if it didn't have chaos?

"God I feel thirteen again playing this-- OH GOD I SOUND LIKE MY MOTHER" you gagged making Ron snort. "Relax, you're sixteen it's not like you're Dumbledore." Hermione said with a laugh. You chuckled. "True." You nodded. "Alright. Who starts us off?" George asked. "Mmm. How bout' pyro over there?" You said motioning to Neville. "I told you I didn't mean to start a fire." He grumbled. "I'm just teasing." You assured. "Alright then. Y/n, truth or dare?" Neville asked. "Mm. Truth." You said. "Laaammme." Fred said, earning a smack in the arm from you. "it's actually more fun with her. She answers anything." George pointed out. "Yep." You nodded. "Most embarrassing story. Go." Neville said. You pondered and then winced. "Oh God. So you know how I grew up around muggles?" You began. Everyone nodded. "So there was an incident before we realized I was capable of magic where I met this kid. He was an asshole, real jerk. So I'm walking through a museum and I run into him and he makes some remark that pissed me off and I uhm... Accidentally turned his hair pink." You admitted. Draco snorted and Harry gaped.

"That was you!?" Harry asked. "What?" You asked. "That was my cousin Dudley!" Harry gaped. "No way." You laughed. "Dead serious, they couldn't get his hair back to normal until Mum game and fixed it-- it looked like Pepto bismol for a week!" Harry laughed making you nearly topple over. Fred chuckled and you finally recovered. "Mmm. Draco, truth or dare?" You asked. "Truth." Draco said, not looking up from a book. "Is it true you might be dating Pansy Parkinson?" You asked. He looked up and scoffed. "There's no way that could happen." He said. "Why's that pretty boy?" Goerge teased. "She's gay." Draco said. "Seriously?" "I can see that." You nodded with the realization. "...Potter, truth or dare?" Draco asked. "Fuck it. Dare." Harry said. "I dare you to ask Mcgonagall where babies come from." Draco said making Fred wheeze. "God damn it." Harry sighed getting up.

He walked out and returned about fifteen minutes later with a horrified look on his face. "You good Harry?" You asked. "She had pictures. Of STDs." He said face planting onto the floor next to Neville made. You laughed and Harry groaned. "Hermione truth or dare?" He asked muffled by the pillow he landed on. "Truth." She said. " Is it true you and Luna were the ones that rigged something in Filch's office?" Harry asked. "True." She nodded. "Dammmmnnn" George gaped. "We've corrupted her boys." You teased. "Oh hush. Fred, truth or dare?" Hermione asked.

"Dare." He said defiantly. "I dare you to flirt with someone random." She shrugged. "What, hoping for some action Granger?" George teased. She rolled her eyes. "I wouldn't date either of you in a million years." She scoffed. Fred turned to you with a smirk. Oh God. This is where it begins. "Y/n... I can conquer the whole world with one hand behind my back as long as the other is holding yours." Fred said in your ear making your face blush. "What? Hiding from me now Princess?" Fred teased as you hid behind your hair. "Shut up asshole." You grumbled making him laugh. "Y/n, truth or dare?" Fred asked. "Truth." You huffed. "Tell me a secret I don't already know of yours." Fred said. You pondered. You could confess now... "I sometimes help Malfoy dye his hair." You confessed making him look up. "Y/n!" Draco whined.

"George truth or dare." You said. "Truth." George said. "What's something we don't know about you?" You asked. "My head is hollow." George said. "Bull." Hermione scoffed. George punched his head, it genuinely sounding hollow. "What the fuck?" You gaped. "I dunno. Just a weird little thing I've discovered." George admitted. "I wonder if I have that same thing going." Fred said smacking his head and then wincing. You snorted and rubbed the spot with your thumb. "Idiot." You said. He smiled at you and George grumbled.

This was hopeless wasn't it. Getting you two together was going to be impossible. "Y/n, truth or dare?" "You already know the answer is Truth." "Do you like someone in this room?" George asked. You shot him a dirty look but he stood his ground. "...Yeah." you said glaring. Everyone made "Oooh" noises and watched George glare at you. "George. What are you playing at?" You asked. "None of your concern." He said with a grumble. "George truth or dare?" You asked. "Truth!" George said, glaring holes into you. "What is your deal dude?" You asked. "I'm a keeper of secrets and it pisses me off!" George snapped.

"...Okay then?" You said confused. "Longbottom, truth or dare!?" George asked, a slightly deranged look in his eyes. "T-truth!" Neville asked. "DO YOU KNOW WHAT INSANITY FEELS LIKE!?" George screamed. "N-No!" Neville gaped. "George are you okay!?" Fred asked. "...George truth or dare?" Neville asked. "TrUTh!" George groaned. "What are you hiding?" Harry asked. "FRED LOVES Y/N AND SHE LOVES HIM TOO AND I'VE KNOWN FOR MONTHS AND I'VE BEEN DOING THESE FUCKING GAME NIGHTS TO GET THEM TO SAY SOMETHING!" George screamed. You blinked a few times looking at Fred with a gape. "You love me?" You asked. "Uhhh" "FRED I SWEAR TO GOD-- TRUTH OR DARE!?" George asked. "Dare!?" Fred said. "JUST FUCKING KISS HER MAN I'M GOING CRAZY!" George whined. Fred looked at you and then George. "Uhm... Okay." Fred nodded before leaning over and kissing you. He pulled away and your eyes were huge looking at Fred as if he were otherworldly.

He cleared his throat and put a hand on the back of his neck, a nervous habit he had. "Y/n, truth or dare?" Fred asked after clearing his throat. "Truth." You breathed. "Is he telling the truth... I mean do you...?" Fred asked. You nodded and the group gaped. "Oh my God." Fred gaped. "I didn't say anything because I didn't know if you felt the same way." You admitted. Fred looked at you and Draco smirked leaning forward. "Y/n. Truth or dare?" He asked. "That's not how--" "Truth or dare Y/n?" Draco repeated. "Dare." You said. "Kiss Fred already." Draco said with an eye roll. You looked at Fred. "Okay, fuck this tension." You sighed before yanking him by his shirt to you. You kissed him and his eyes widened. "Daaammmnnn" Ron gaped.

"IT'S. ABOUT. GOD. DAMN. TIME!" George whined. You laughed, resting your forehead on Fred's. "Will you be mine Princess?" He asked. "That was implied after I kissed you moron." You nodded making him kiss you again.

"Okay now I feel like I'm interrupting something." Neville said. "Do I need to get Mcgonagall to show you two the pictures too?" Harry asked making you draw back immediately. "Moment ruined?" Fred asked. "God yes." You gagged.

#fred weasley #fred weasley x you #fred weasley x reader

[loukja]

A6 Headcanons - Movie Night

(I wrote this with current movie and series examples for, well, obvious reasons^^)

June: June is probably into all those inspiring, beautiful movies with a sad twist. “The Theory of Everything”, “The Untouchables”, “Saving Mr. Banks”, things like those. But he doesn’t like it if they don’t have at least some sort of a happy end. He wants to see a positive outlook on humanity, wants to get to see people be happy and accomplish things. There’s more than enough tragedy in his life, and watching movies is supposed to be an escape. Movie nights with him would be the cosiest. Wrapped up together in a blanket, his arms around you, sharing a bowl of popcorn. Talking about the movie as the credits roll, veering off into the deeper topics, like the meaning of friendship, of holding on and letting go. Oh, and if you fall asleep during the movie he will carry you to bed, bridal style.

Calderon: The captain probably enjoys educational stuff. Wanna watch some documentaries together? Or historically accurate movies? No? But he’d even pause them to lecture you about background information that they left out. Who would want to turn that down? Now, while this might sound boring at first (at least to some), what always is fun is watching something about old (unsolved) mysteries with him and speculating about them. Like corn circles or how humans build the pyramids and stuff like that. At first Cal would be a bit exasperated by whatever people came up with, but then he would launch into spinning crazy theories with you. He’d sneak an arm around your shoulders over the course of the evening, and he would not bring snacks because he “doesn’t need any”. And then he’d steal from your snacks, so watch out.

Damon: Oh, he’d definitely be into crime stuff. True crime and fictional. Either way he’d comment a lot: if things are realistic, what dumb mistakes could have been avoided and so on. He’d probably like “Gone Girl”, and “Hannibal”, generally movies and shows where the characters are smart. If something is badly written he’d actually get upset at it, and is probably not beyond throwing crisps at the TV: “Are you kidding me? He would’ve been caught before he even committed the murder!” The evening would start with you casually sprawled across the couch side by side but would probably end with his head in your lap and you feeding him snacks. If you’re not watching something super engaging, he might even fall asleep like that.

Bash: With him you can binge watch just about any series, he can adapt. Umbrella Academy? Amazing! Game of Thrones? Aweso… wait, why is everybody dying? Friends? Sure, why not? The Great British Bake Off? Sign him up! Attack on Titan? Hell ye… wait, why is everybody dying?! It’s great fun to joke around with him and fall into the ‘just one more episode’-trap together. Snack-wise he’d probably pull some stunt like mixing M&Ms and Skittles because he likes surprises. At some point in the evening you’d probably end up throwing food at each other and trying to catch it with your mouths. And later on you’d probably fall asleep on the couch, tangled with each other and the blanket and the TV still running in the background.

Ryona: Do not, I repeat, do not watch medical series with her if they are not accurate! She’d also get really upset with the general lack of first aid in movies and series. “What the hell are you guys doing?! That’s not a lethal shot! You don’t need to say goodbye! Oh, quit the ‘StAy WiTh Me’ bullshit, do something!” So, yeah, better stick to something nice, something that will make her smile. Maybe “A series of unfortunate events” or “Anne with an E” or “Grace and Frankie”. She’d be also very interested to see movies/series you love and talk to you about why you like them, no matter the genre. Ryona would put an effort into having the perfect movie night with you – she’d make hot cocoa, self-made popcorn or whatever other snack you like. She’d snuggle up to your side and sometimes whisper comments about the movie to you.

Ayame: She’d be into all the trash movies. “Sharknado”, “2-Headed Shark Attack” and so on. Also stuff like “Shaun of the Dead” or “Robin Hood – Men in Tights”. She’s also the queen of movie drinking games. Mostly because she comes up with very specific ones and you’d swear she makes up rules as she goes: “Hammer Time! You have to drink!” “What?” “Whenever there’s a hammerhead shark on screen you have to say hammer time. I told you that, pay some attention, would you?” You’d be so drunk by the end of the movie that she’d have to carry or drag you to bed. But apart from that movie nights with her are so much fun, just the two of you making dumb jokes until you cry from laughing so much. There’s also a high chance of a pillow fight breaking out over who’s hogging the shared blanket too much.

Vexx: He likes things that go boom. So, movies with tons of action. He’d probably like things like the Avengers. If he says about whatever happens on screen “I could do that.” – dare him to do it. It’s bound to be hilarious. Because Vexx has a pretty big head and this could happen with just about anything. Like for example, even though he’d probably only watch that movie to make you happy, the lift from Dirty Dancing. Only dare him if you’re ready to possibly cut the movie night short and end it in the infirmary with a very angry medic. If you don’t want that, better just stay put and fight him for your fair share of the snacks – which might end in a tickling war and neither of you concentrating on the movie anymore.

#andromeda six #andromeda 6 #andromeda six headcanons #andromeda 6 headcanons #Headcanon

[steamracha]

{warnings: dom!hyunjin, sub!reader, brat!reader, slight abo au, drinking, implied fwb!hyunjin, jealousy, mentioned punishments, teasing, begging, pet names, dirty talk, slight degradation}

[10:37pm] the taste of vodka mixed with grape juice and some sort of soft drink is fizzy and deceptively sweet as it travels down your throat, burning your tongue and setting your nerves alight, one by one. you swallow with a low groan, humming at the bittersweet alcohol.

the buzz is addictive, making you crave more and more of it running through your veins, but you push yourself off the counter to lightly fall to your tiptoes. you're conscious of the swell of sweaty, drunk bodies and the booming bass crashing through the living room of the frat house, so you quickly opt to make a beeline for the stairway.

your cup's pretty full and some of the pink liquid sloshes over the rim as you list a little, barely managing to keep yourself upright; okay, so maybe you're pretty drunk too. you down the rest of it anyway–go big or go home, right? besides, you only have one goal for tonight, and a little liquid courage never hurt anyone.

just as you're about to take a shaky step out of the hallway, a familiar voice interrupts your train of jumbled thoughts.

"hey, angel," hwang hyunjin smiles from his perch on the table, making you spin around to face him. he's dressed in a low-necked black t-shirt and tantalisingly tight skinny jeans. you gulp as you eye him, weary and achingly curious. "looking for someone?"

you take a second to compose yourself before smirking back, matching his gaze. it's smouldering with a kind of hunger which makes you feel exposed to the chilly campus air, skin tingling with a longing for…something. "oh hi, what's up, hyunjin? and to answer your question, i actually am looking for someone. you remember mark lee, right? captain of the baseball team from high school?"

your smile gets wider at the way his eyes darken at your indifferent words, low growl escaping the back of his throat unconsciously. typical alpha, you think, snickering internally.

"anyway, markie wanted my help with something so i'd better go check it out, whatever it is. it was nice seeing you here though, hyunjin, we should meet up sometime!"

you're drunk, but not naive. just as predicted, as you turn and are about to step away with a careless wave of the hand, you find yourself stumbling backwards into the hard, waiting chest of hyunjin.

his fingers are locked in a vice like grip around your wrist, which of course makes you picture a whole number of scenarios where he's pushing your intertwined hands into the bed sheets as he thrusts into you, bruising your skin with his hold. you swallow again, trying to stop yourself from shivering.

"actually, why don't we catch up now, hmm?" his voice is dripping with honey-like sweetness as he leans down to mouth softly under your earlobe before giving it a quick tug between his teeth, making you gasp at your proximity. "surely dear markie can wait a little?" a roll of addictive vibrations travel through his chest as he purrs into your ear, free hand circling your hip bone knowingly. there's something undeniably attractive in the way hyunjin spits out the name of your friend, making it apparent the loathing he holds for the boy you're gushing about right in front of him.

he's hot, but you're no amateur. after all, you've learned from the best.

"i really did promise mark i'd help him with that, uh, problem of his and i don't want him to worry. sorry, hyunjin, but unless there's something more urgent, something more–well, something worth my time, i have to get going. who knows where he could be…?" your thoughtful pout as you look right in his eyes is enough to drive him crazy.

he pulls the two of you roughly towards the hall table, his fingers getting impossibly tight around your wrist. he really does growl this time as you continue to feign ignorance. this is fun. you can see the jealousy and anger in his eyes when he turns you around swiftly by the waist to have you standing between his thighs.

"seriously?" he raises an eyebrow, dropping the pretences, "after the stunt you pulled the other week, i don't think you're in any position to play games, wouldn't you agree?"

"i have no idea what you're talking about, hyunjinnie." you grin, stepping closer to his obvious bulge and pressing your lower half to him. he lets out a quiet hiss at the contact, but doesn't make any attempt to push you away from his body.

"oh, sweetheart, i think i can help remind you." he wastes no time in pressing his knee between your legs, pushing your body towards the wall and pinning your wrists above your head. a soft moan escapes your parted lips at this sudden contact of rough fabric to your core, making hyunjin snicker. he leans down again to press wet, open mouthed kisses down your neck, the vibrations from his whispered words causing you to shudder.

"i can smell your arousal from a mile away, baby, but you just had to be a little brat and lie to me. as a punishment…should i spank you?" your eyes widen and a new wave of arousal floods through your senses. of course, hyunjin catches the heady, thick scent in the air and tuts in mock disapproval. "no, you'd enjoy that too much. after all, you're just a pathetic slut, aren't you? you riled me up on purpose so i would punish you."

his covered knee is rubbing up and down your soaking core through your underwear, the movements barely hidden under your sheer skirt. the light, delicate friction is making you more and more desperate for something, anything, but you try your hardest to not buck your hips up or whimper pathetically. "maybe, i should just fuck your thighs and not even let you come, huh? it's not like you deserve my cock." your cheeks flare with embarrassment as you let out a high whine of protest, the noise muffled thanks to the blasting music from the next room.

"aww, baby, it's almost like you want us to get caught. you'd like that, wouldn't you, if someone walked past and saw you in this position?" he comes back up to crash his glossy, swollen lips against your own, letting out a low groan inside your mouth and making your toes curl. "such a pretty, desperate whore for me."

hyunjin doesn't pause his ministrations for a single moment, continuing to place bruising marks against your collarbones and occasionally resurfacing to nip and lick at your abused mouth.

pulling away for air, he hovers his lips over yours, allowing you to see just how affected he is by all of your muffled moans and the sight of your flushed cheeks. you move forward to catch his lips with yours, but he only indulges you for a second before tugging you towards the staircase. looking back at you from the first step, he smiles, a sweet, innocent thing that leaves you shivering with excitement.

"you'll be begging for me before we're done here."

#hyunjin smut #stray kids smut #skz smut #hwang hyunjin smut #stray kids scenarios #skz scenario #skz scenarios #hyunjin scenarios #hwang hyunjin #hyunjin #stray kids hyunjin #hyunjin stray kids #skz imagines #skz hyunjin #skz fanfic #stray kids imagines #skz #stray kids #stray kids dark hours #skz dark hours #hyunjin skz #should i do a part two? #this is completely unedited i'm sorry it's such a mess #it's been a while since i was here last and i'm rlly sorry for my absence :(( #but enjoy this bit of bullshit until i have the energy or time to write something substantial haha #ily all #mine

[halothenthehorns]

THE FOUR CHAMPIONS

"Merlin's shit-"

"I'm going to kill someone-"

"Can't go one bleeding year-"

"Got to be a way he doesn't do this-"

Maybe it was because of the way Harry was acting that hadn't left them so surprised, maybe it was because by this point they were just so sick but unsurprised at Harry being dragged into everything, but whatever it was, they skipped right to angered disbelief and began shouting at once of the injustice of this.

Harry only half-heard something going on around him. It just didn't seem real, and yet it explained what had been bothering him since Percy had brought this up over the summer. He did compete in this bloody Tournament, and something went wrong.

    "-to hell he can't! Just put him back on the train. He can go stay at the Burrow for the year, problem solved!"

"Oh hey, the train," Lily said with a sideways look at her son. He was still running his hand through his hair in a vain attempt at flattening it, his eyes vacant and in no way showing he was following a word of what anyone was saying. When Lily just kept getting odd looks from the others, she got up to sit on the table in front of him, then leaned in close to Harry and tapped him on the shoulder, waiting until he fully looked at her before explaining. "I just thought of a way Hogwarts would have gone to the other schools: They'd have taken the train. It is magical after all, so as long as it was given a destination, the tracks and a station would appear with the train as needed."*

Harry gave his mother a weary smile. Clearly talk of this Tournament wasn't actually making him feel better, but it was still nicer to think of that train going to some other school without him where he wouldn't have even been involved, so he finally engaged her back by saying, "That's pretty cool, but where would the Hogwarts students sleep once they got there? Remus didn't exactly look comfortable when he did." He finished with an attempt at a smile towards him.

Remus returned it at once, the boys finally relaxing when they saw Harry was at least trying to act normal again.

Lily said right back, "Magic, love. Those compartments could easily be converted to mini bedrooms once they arrived. It would actually be easier than squeezing all of Beauxbatons into that carriage."

"About as comfortable and roomy as the Durmstrang boat," James finally agreed.

Sirius was still grumbling foully under his breath, glad that Harry was at least coming back around, but still unable to stop himself from pressing the point he'd been trying to make. "Here's me agreeing, yes that would work, but that's not the point now! Harry shouldn't have to be in this Tournament. Someone set him up, so he should be able to leave school until it's f'ing over!"

Remus sighed, giving him a pitying look as he reminded, "You know as well as I do why that wouldn't work. Magical contracts are binding. You can't just pay a fine when you don't do it. Harry's name would be as bound as the other champions. If he didn't compete, something really bad could happen to him. His magic could be in danger. Merlin, I don't really want to know specifics because no one's ever broken one and lived long enough to say it."

Sirius groaned, raking his hand through his hair so hard in frustration he was likely to pull out a few strands, and didn't care one bit.

They all looked absolutely miserable, just so tired of hearing about Harry's life like this. This Tournament was going to be dangerous. Harry was going to have to deal with even more terrible things than he'd already had to before, and that was saying something!

James' mind kept flickering around, his face purely sour as he tried to come up with something else to say, but what came out wasn't particularly helpful. "You know, I think I'm really starting to hate this holiday."

Harry gave him a surprised look, but before he could even ask he'd continued, "It's apparently the day we're going to die." He only paused for a moment to grimace in disgust at that sentence.

"Your first year you got attacked by a troll-"

"But that's the day Hermione and I became friends," Harry reminded, "so I'm rather fond of that memory."

"No, I agree with your father." Lily huffed, ignoring the fact she'd always liked this holiday as her and James' anniversary for their first date. Now didn't seem the time to indulge this. "Because it also happens to be that same day Mrs. Norris was attacked, and that awful Chamber mess happened."

"Plus that was the day Sirius apparently lost his marbles," Remus added.

Sirius simply shrugged, having nothing to add to that but "agreed, this holiday sucks."

Harry really couldn't disagree that he didn't seem to have a very good track record for this particular day of the year. Still, looking around at all of them, he couldn't resist a smile either. For some reason the mention of Hermione had made his mind want to flicker to something else, like he should be angry, but not at her, maybe one of his friends though? What would Ron and Hermione do that could actually make this feeling worse? It was such a contrast to watching his family now, so outraged on his behalf they were all clearly stewing and trying to come up with some way to get him out of this.

Still though, Lily did marginally relax as she watched her son regain his normal composure. Sadly this only kicked up her anger at the situation another degree. She got to her feet and began pacing the length of the couch as she stormed. "I still want to know how the bloody hell this happened to him! How did his name even get put in? Someone had to have done this to him! And why!? What on earth could be the point of doing this to him!?"

"My money's on Moody," Sirius smirked.

Harry only had the smallest moment to glance in surprise at his Godfather, opening his mouth with that old look of something flickering in his eyes, when James snorted, giving him a sideways look as he told him, "You know, sometimes I think your jokes are actually your mind trying to warn the rest of us how crazy you are."

Sirius' grin widened. Of course he didn't mean it of the head Auror, even if he was retired now, but it was making him feel better to at least pretend this was a joking situation. "Well, look at it this way: every single DADA teacher Harry's had has had some interest in Harry. It's definitely in Moody's capability to pull off a stunt like this."

Lily just sighed before saying, "Can someone offer up a real solution before he starts accusing Ron next?"

"Oi!" Sirius pouted, but didn't argue the point, recognizing he wasn't making anyone else feel better by his picking.

At least Sirius' fun had turned off the harder question Lily asked, why would someone do this to Harry. It wasn't hard to think up the reason. Their boy seemed to have more enemies than friends it felt like, but it didn't really help them to start listing them. Top of their list was Voldemort, and by extension any Death Eater he had at his availability. True, they only knew of one at the time, but he was off somewhere else, scheming something else. That did leave the nasty suspicion they had that there were two current Death Eaters around Harry at school, but as much as they hated Snape, and had a very growing dislike for all the suspicions they already had about Karkaroff, it was mind blowing to think either of them could pull this off under Dumbledore's nose.

Their opinion of the Headmaster was at an all time low considering everything they suspected, and basically knew even if they weren't there to see it all, involving his hand in Sirius' jail time. Still, that was the outside world, this was his bleeding school! He should be able to have stopped this from happening!

They had no answers, and no one to ask.

Considering Lily had thrown the book to the ground and kicked it into the wall in her temper to take her shock and hatred of this situation out on something, James had to walk across the room to go and fetch the book. None of them had even marginally calmed down, but they did come to the same realization James had. This had already happened to Harry, he had lived through whatever they were fixing to find out, and that was the most important thing to them. Whatever came next, Harry had survived.

James tried his best to steady his breathing so that when he found his right spot, he didn't keep screaming bloody murder about this. It was best he didn't anyways, because even in their shouting, Remus was the only one who hadn't gotten up in his outrage, still too sore and curled up into the chair with a very fussy baby now. His infant son's agitated whining at this mess only accented how the rest of them were feeling though, so it wasn't exactly as calm an environment as he was trying for as he began.

Harry just sat there with every eye in the hall on him, convinced he'd heard wrong.

"I feel like everyone in the hall wouldn't be looking at you if that were true," Remus grumbled low enough Harry couldn't hear.

There was no applause.

Sirius made a breathy noise, like he wanted to laugh at Harry's expense for that but he couldn't really get it out.

Instead a buzzing, unpleasant, noise was growing. McGonagall reacted first, getting to her feet and sprinting to Dumbledore's side to whisper something in his ear.

"I can only imagine what she's got to say about this," James sighed.

"Hopefully something along the lines of, I know the perfect solution of how to get him out of this," Lily huffed.

Harry turned to face his two friends, telling them he hadn't done this.

Harry sighed with pure misery. Somehow he just knew that was going to pop up a lot. It didn't make him feel any better that saying this to his two friends gave him an aching feeling, like one of them wouldn't even believe him. That couldn't possibly be true, right?

Neither answered.

At the staff table, Dumbledore repeated Harry's name, telling him to come up there. Hermione had to give him a push to get him to move.

"I'd need more than a push to get my behind up there," Remus shuddered.

Harry got to his feet, feeling wooden all over as he stumbled between the wide eyes of the Gryffindors and the stone faces of the Hufflepuffs. It seemed to take forever as he came forward, feeling like a spotlight was on him the whole time.

Lily sighed deeply, shifting in her place and having to stop herself going over to her son, snapping at anyone for staring too long. This wasn't his fault!

The buzzing kept growing louder as every eye in the room wouldn't look away from him.

He finally approached Dumbledore, who continued by telling Harry to go through the door like the others had.

"Honestly, this is one time I wanted him to get special treatment, put him somewhere else, like the train home," James ground out. He didn't care how bad of an idea it was logically, he wanted someone to do something other than just stare at his boy!

He wasn't smiling.

"Be a little more worried if he was," Sirius mumbled.

Harry kept going, edging around until he passed Hagrid, who neither waved nor gave any of his usual greetings as he too stared at Harry the whole way.

Harry was getting more despondent the longer this kept going, remembering all of those shocked faces and just wanting to scream that he hadn't done anything.

His face looked as astonished as everyone's.

"Anyone want to place bets on when this is going to wear off?" James moaned, just trying to say something that didn't depress him for just a second, though it clearly didn't work when everyone else ignored him.

Finally Harry passed through the door to see the three champions in a small circular room, covered with portraits over a fire. Harry found them imposing in the firelight.

Lily had her hair wrapped so tightly around one finger it was beginning to hurt, but she didn't release the strands, just kept pulling harder in agitation of picturing her Hare Bare having to go through all of this.

Fleur was the first to notice him, asking if he was there to tell them to come back into the hall?

"No, they wanted to make sure Hogwarts' mascot got shoved into this bloodbath as well," Sirius growled. All four of them looked at him like they were really going to do more than smack him this time, but when Sirius put his hands up in surrender meaning he regretted his own joke, no one acted on it, no matter how much they wanted to.

She thought Harry was there to give a message, but Harry couldn't come up with a way to answer.

"I still don't either honestly," Remus snapped.

He simply stood there, watching them, as it occurred to him how much taller they were.

Sirius plugged his nose to stop a snort of laughter, knowing he'd have loved to pick on both Harry and James for that any other time as they were usually on the shorter side even when they were the same age as those around them, but knew he couldn't have gotten away with it. Still, he regretted his missed opportunity the moment it passed, because no matter how stressed they all were for this, some humor really would have done them good for even a moment.

The first person to enter behind them was Bagman, who came bouncing in and grabbed Harry's arm, dragging him farther into the room as he exclaimed how extraordinary this was.

"NO!" Lily snapped at once. "I do not care for one second what the bloody hell you think is going on, but this is not extraordinary or anything else! My son-" she strangled herself off, her cheeks puffing up with indignation but clearly trying to hold off another shouting fit that this was Bagman's first reaction!

The others didn't look any better, Sirius in particular looked like he'd been smacked. What was Bagman playing at, trying to make this look like a good thing? Everyone should be trying to work on a way to get him out of this!

Turning to the other champions and shouting about how they had a fourth champion!

Lily couldn't seem to stop herself constantly uttering the word 'no' under her breath, and didn't seem likely to stop until something else happened.

Remus gave an exhausted sigh at that declaration, still trying to work out in his head how this had been done. That Goblet was one of the oldest of magical items. It would take something really powerful for it to have broken and spit out four champions. The question of who on earth could have pulled this off was still open ended, though, as they had no actual suspects.

Krum and Cedric looked more surprised, though hardly reactive. Fleur, though, gave her hair a toss and began laughing, saying Bagman had made a good joke.

"I wish," Sirius sighed, though even he'd admit this was never funny to begin with.

Bagman was shocked, saying this was no laughing matter. Harry's name had just come out of the Goblet. Krum and Cedric's expression continued growing more confused,

"I almost envy the reaction," James groused.

while Fleur frowned telling him there must be some mistake.

"Well, she's got that one right," they all agreed.

Harry couldn't compete, he was too young.

"Ironically, that was only a rule this time around," Lily sighed, "and still not my biggest problem."

"Really?" Harry asked in surprise, the first time he'd actually tried to speak to any of them since his name had come out, so though Lily didn't look happy she explained.

"I know you can handle a lot love, I've seen that proven time and again. No, what I, we," she quickly corrected since all of the boys housed the same face she did, "are so mad about is that you didn't volunteer for this. If you had, well, I can't say I'd be pleased, but, Merlin help it, I can't pretend you haven't dealt with this dangerous mess before. It would have been your decision at least. No, the fact that someone put your name in, forcing you to do this, that's why I'm going to be putting someone in their place," she finished with a dangerous flash to those green eyes.

Harry looked around in surprise, but when he saw nothing but agreement from the others, he felt a flash of warmth finally chase away that cold dread. No, he still wasn't happy about this situation he'd landed in one little bit, but the absolute fact that his parents were so infuriated on his behalf, not because they hadn't a shadow of a doubt he could handle this, but because he'd been forced into this, left him feeling almost giddy.

James couldn't stop himself from smiling just a bit as he kept going now. At least his son finally looked almost back to normal now.

Bagman agreed this was amazing, but since the age restriction had only been put in place this year it should be overlooked. The Goblet had used his name, there was no ducking out.

"Please stop saying that, though," Sirius pouted, not really exaggerating it much as he continued. "The point is, he shouldn't have to do this!"

"Where's Dumbledore?" Remus agreed with a heavy sigh. "Maybe he could, I don't know, if the Goblet was tricked once, can't it be convinced again to take his name back, or something?!"

"You let us know if you figure it out," James huffed.

It was all down in the rules, he was obliged

"If you put your name in," Lily stressed the word "you" for emphasis like she was speaking to a two year old. "Harry didn't, so he isn't obliged to do anything."

"I think it's moments like this where I hate magic," Harry agreed.

to do so and just do his best!

He was cut off by the entrance of Dumbledore, Crouch, Karkaroff, Maxime, McGonagall, and Snape.

"Why is Snape there?!" Sirius fired up at once, finally having something else to put his temper on. "Everyone else, I don't care, but, bloody hell, can he just not be there for one second!? He has no part of anything going on. Merlin, he'll probably start a cheer squad for this happening to my pup!"

"Malfoy'll be captain of that," James agreed just to finish the joke. He couldn't muster up an ounce of humor for it though.

Harry could still hear the noise coming from the Great Hall before McGonagall shut the door, and Fleur darted to her headmistress at once, telling her that they were going on about this little boy competing with them!

Harry finally felt something other than numbness, anger. Little boy?

"Oh, that's what got through to you, then?" Remus asked mildly.

"You want to insult a boy, you start calling him little," Lily agreed with an almost amused smile, which increased to actual laughter when indeed every boy in the room looked agitated at her.

Maxime drew herself up to her full height,

"I can believe how scary that is," James nodded absently.

her head brushing the ceiling as she swelled at Dumbledore what the meaning of this was?

Karkaroff said that he'd like an answer for this as well, two Hogwarts champions? There was nothing about that in the rules, or had he not read them properly? Giving a cruel laugh at the end.

"Guess people really will be calling Hogwarts biased now." Harry rolled his eyes, thinking back when this had just been a recurring joke, he'd never expected this as an end result.

Maxime agreed there was nothing saying Hogwarts would have two champions, it was unjust!

"Agreed," all five of them muttered.

Karkaroff added on that the age had restricted them bringing more from their schools.

"Yeah, I feel like you only would have brought one if you could get away with it." Sirius rolled his eyes.

Snape said his due, saying it was Potter's own fault.

Lily's hand twitched, her face so murderous in that moment the others had to fight down the urge to duck as she looked likely to draw her wand and do something irreparable to Snape for saying that. She was as sick and tired of hearing about him as the others, seeming to regret every moment she'd ever stood up for him previously as she could no longer even think about him without wanting to scream in his face for starters.

James felt the exact same way, the murdering part as he'd never pretend to stand up for Snivellus if his life depended on it, but he kept going with only the faintest hope Dumbledore would kick his slimy butt out of there before he could keep going long.

Saying it wasn't Dumbledore's fault Potter had decided to break the rules, he'd been doing that since he arrived here-

Dumbledore cut him off.

James looked so furious by the time Dumbledore had cut in, Sirius and Remus decided Snape should be lucky James hadn't ever managed to find some way to take a limb off in school, because he'd clearly do it now.

Then he turned to Harry and calmly asked if he'd put his name in the Goblet of Fire?

"Least Dumbledore didn't lose his temper on this," Remus huffed.

"I've never seen Dumbledore lose his temper over anything," Sirius sighed. "It'd be really weird to even picture it."**

Harry said no at once, while Snape made a soft noise of disbelief in the shadows.

Lily made a murderous noise of disbelief in plain view for everyone to see.

Dumbledore, ignoring Snape, then asked if he'd asked one of the older students to do it for him?

"Would that work?" Harry asked in shock. That was an even simpler solution than the Aging Potion.

"I, well sort of, I can kind of picture it at least," Remus said with crossed eyes. "If the Goblet works so that it takes the essence of the person who put the paper in, well it would be absorbing the person, not the name on the slip. So if another person wrote Harry's name down, and the Goblet accepted that name to go with the person who put it in, well I couldn't see why this wouldn't work."

"You'd really have to work on an older student to convince them to give up their chance for you," Sirius agreed in tones showing how impossible that scenario would be.***

"What about a Polyjuice Potion then?" Harry asked. "You'd turn into someone physically old enough."

"If Dumbledore had the thought to set up against an Aging Potion, he'd most likely have done it against all Potions. If you had one in your system, I don't think you could get through," Lily explained.

"Problem is," James ruffled up his brow as he sorted through this, "what would be the point? No one would do that as a joke, because anyone who put their name in would want their own go at it."

"No one was suggesting this as a prank," Lily muttered with pure mutiny.

"Oh, he knows," Sirius sighed. "No one here's pretending a student is powerful enough to do this to the Goblet. Even Hermione couldn't get away with that. No, it would have to be someone at Dumbledore's level of magical power, and how someone managed to do that without Dumbledore realizing is still what's getting to me."

Harry sighed. Clearly they were as lost as he on that front, so he kept at the other thing instead, at least that didn't explicitly have to do with him. "But now I'm really thinking about this, couldn't a whole school do that as a form of cheating? What if every single Durmstrang student just put down Krum's name, that way the Goblet would have no choice but to shoot out that name?" His frown increased as he jumped to, "what if it wasn't the Goblet that was magicked, but every person at Hogwarts who just thought they were putting their own name, but really put mine? Though," he quickly amended when he could sense how wrong that was even without letting the others deny this, "I guess that would be just as hard to pull off around Dumbledore."

"And wouldn't explain how Cedric got in, and a fourth name came out," James agreed gently. Still, they were all happy to at least have seen him try. It was good to see him trying to throw those kinds of things out there, as it meant he wasn't solely trying to rely on his mind for answers anymore, which only ever led to hurting him.

Again Harry said no, and Maxime said he was lying at once, while a shake of Snape's head showed he agreed with her.

"I am going to rip his head off," Sirius said sincerely.

McGonagall stepped in, saying Harry couldn't have crossed the age line, while Maxime pointed out Dumbledore must have made a mistake.

"Now she's just being ridiculous." Remus rolled his eyes. "We've seen an abundance of evidence it's stopped a number of students, so why on earth could Harry get around that?"

"Can someone please stop blaming Harry and instead get to how he doesn't have to do this?" James agreed.

Dumbledore agreed this could be a factor, while McGonagall told them all they were being ridiculous. Harry couldn't have crossed that line, and if Dumbledore says he believes him that should be good enough for everyone!

"Thank you, McGonagall!" Lily nodded sharply, happy at least someone was around to keep these idiots in their place.

She shot a very angry look at Snape.

"Well deserved, that," Sirius nodded along.

Karkaroff turned to Bagman and Crouch then, saying they were supposed to be the objective judges, and they had to admit this was irregular.

"Oh, no one's arguing this is irregular," Sirius rolled his eyes.

Bagman still had a smile on his face, while Crouch had been standing silently in the shadows this whole time.

"Actually more surprised he hasn't spoken up by now," Lily said briskly. "Put his bleeding opinion out in the open of all of this."

He looked ghastly in the dying light, but he spoke in his usual curt tone as he said the rules must be followed. The Goblet of Fire had chosen him, so he was now bound for the Tournament.

"No!" Lily snapped again, sick of this being everyone's go-to answer. She was seconds away from getting to her feet and stomping her way to Crouch's house and telling him off next. "You find a bleeding loophole and get him out of this!"

"If there's a way around getting an underage student into the Goblet, there should be a way to get him out of it," James agreed in seething tones.

"It was a rule an underage student shouldn't be in," Remus agreed with an ugly look in place, "but then again, isn't Crouch the one who decides what rules should and shouldn't be followed?"

Harry looked at him in surprise at this. Clearly something had just gone over his head, but even though James agreed he didn't notice Harry and instead kept going.

Bagman seemed to decide that made the matter closed while giving a charming smile to everyone.

"I do not like him anymore," Sirius growled, any shine gone to be replaced by a murderous growl in his voice. Quidditch player be damned, no one should be in a good mood while this was happening to Harry.

Karkaroff insisted this wasn't right. He wanted all the names of the students resubmitted until all the schools were even!

Lily opened, then closed her mouth, shutting her eyes for a moment before opening them and saying "actually, that seems fair."

"Wish I could say otherwise," James sighed, "but the man's got a point."

"That doesn't solve our problem," Remus sighed, keeping the baby in his lap as close to his chest as he could like he feared someone was going to wrench him away any second and throw him into this Tournament. "Harry's still stuck in the bleeding middle of this, but it might take some of the heat off of him if they do pull that off."

No one looked remotely happy, but if this was the solution that everyone ended up coming to, it would have the benefit of Harry not being the sole attention anymore at least somewhat.

Bagman reminded the Goblet had gone out, and it would not reignite until the start of the next Tournament.

"So tell it to do otherwise!" Sirius snapped in outrage. "It's a magical object, use some f'ing magic on it and get it to do what it's told!"

Karkaroff exploded at them all, saying Durmstrang would take no part of this! He was tempted to just leave now!

"You know it's sad when I can't even say he's not wrong," Lily moaned into her hands, pressing her face so tight into them in frustration she was leaving nail marks on her forehead. "I'd be just as bleeding pissed if this was happening from another school."

A new voice told Karkaroff how stupid that was, leaving his champion. They've all got to compete, which was convenient.

"Now why couldn't this one have been here this whole time instead of Snape?" James huffed, thankful someone else had stepped in, hoping against hope whoever would find a way out of this for his son.

Moody had come in, while Karkaroff turned nasty eyes on him and told him no one understood why this was convenient.

"Pretty sure he's saying what none of us want to hear," Lily mumbled, still not removing her face, her curtain of red hair hiding most of the act, and she didn't look likely to move until her Hare Bare was pulled out of this.

Moody told that it was obvious, someone put Potter's name in so he would have to compete.

Maxime exclaimed it was so Hogwarts could have two bites at the apple, and Karkaroff agreed with her: he'd be lodging complaints against everything he could.

"And a number of other things, which do absolutely no good," Sirius rolled his eyes in pure contempt. "If I could have a go at the Goblet, I'd be doing it now as well."

Moody reminded if anyone should be complaining, it was Potter, but he'd stayed quiet.

"He's actually got a point there," Remus raised a brow at him. "You haven't spoken a word."

"I kept hoping someone would find a way to get me out of this." Harry shrugged, choosing not to add on he hardly ever liked speaking when adults were around discussing him, probably one too many years of the Dursleys had put that into him. They always somehow managed to make it clear if Harry's name was in the conversation he should keep his mouth shut, not that they ever included him in any other discussion either. "Besides," he finished out loud to get rid of his trailing thoughts, "couldn't think up anything to say. I hadn't done anything."

Fleur bit back he was the last person who would complain, he was getting the chance many would die for!

"Oh, please don't say that," Lily sighed, finally raising her head to give a stank eye at the book. This French girl continued to agitate her the longer she spoke.

Moody agreed maybe Harry's death was the end game here.

"That's why I didn't want her to say that," she snarled when James got that out looking more than a little sick after doing so.

Sadly, they'd already realized this, but with any luck maybe Moody would suggest someone who could have done this to Harry they hadn't thought of.

Silence rung in the room. Bagman lost some of his good mood

"Finally an expression that doesn't read, 'oh this is brilliant!'" Sirius snorted.

while he bounced on his heels in unease as he told Moody off for saying that.

"Oh, how I wish he was wrong," Lily hissed.

Karkaroff reminded Moody hadn't made his day until he found six attempts on his life.

"And how do you spend your mornings?" James snarled. Moody and McGonagall were the only ones sticking up for his son so far. He wasn't going to let someone have a go at them without returning. "In fact, maybe you should start that practice!"

He was clearly imagining things. Moody glowered at him, reminding that it took someone with more skill than a fourteen year old to do this to the Goblet.

Maxime demanded what evidence he had of that?

"Logic," Remus raised a brow.

"Common sense," Sirius agreed with a sigh.

"Something any adept person would know," James sniffed.

Moody reminded how it must have taken a powerful wizard to Confound the Goblet into thinking there were four Champions, and put Harry's name down as the only entrance from an extra school.

Karkaroff told Moody he'd thought this through quite well,

Harry felt something just as cold trickling towards his stomach, for the first time wondering on Karkaroff, at what he'd said...and for an inexplicable reason going back to Sirius' earlier joke of who'd done this to him...

and while it was smart, last he'd heard Moody had taken a birthday gift and broken it in fear it was poisoned, so he should forgive them all for not taking him seriously.

"I'd be worried if you did treat him like me," Sirius agreed with an ingenious smirk in his opinion, and when Harry snapped out of whatever that face was and laughed, it was worth it.

Moody reminded it was his job to think like Dark wizards, Karkaroff should remember that.

"Well, there's our proof, as if we needed any more," James sighed. "Karkaroff was, or is, I guess, depending on what time we're talking about, a Death Eater."

"Never heard of him before, though," Remus gave an absent shrug, "so either he's not very high in the ranks, or hasn't joined yet."

"Or we've gotten a spot more dodgy information," Sirius scowled, for the first time really thinking past that rat's betrayal and jumping on the fact that it wasn't just James and Lily he'd got killed. How many more people would that rat get murdered for Voldemort, how soon until he started telling Death Eaters their plans instead of them figuring out theirs?

The others were confident they knew where Sirius' mind had gone, but they were already in a foul enough mood without something else like this being brought up just now, so no one asked him for details.

Dumbledore gave a warning to Alastor, and it took a moment for Harry to realize who he was speaking to.

That managed to snap James onto something far more pleasant at least, as he began giggling at once, managing to get out, "It took you how many months-" before he broke off into a bit more chuckling.

Harry rolled his eyes good-naturedly, but none of them had seen that eye in person. If they had, they wouldn't have questioned him using that as a name either.

Then again, Mad-Eye could hardly be his real first name.

"Oh, but it would have been so much more interesting if it was," Lily agreed mildly.

Moody stopped speaking, though he still kept a distasteful eye on Karkaroff's hateful one.

Dumbledore continued speaking, saying that however this happened, it didn't appear they had another choice but to accept it.

"NO!" Lily snarled in outrage, this time joined in by everyone else as Harry watched. It was his mother, though, who kept going in a full-blown, no-longer-able-to-bottle-it-up tangent as she really did get to her feet, pacing the length of the room in a towering outrage. "I am so bleeding sick of seeing him just saying, okay, Harry's going off to do this insane thing, let's see what happens!"

Remus opened, then closed his mouth as he couldn't come up with an argument for that. The only time he may have tried for some defense was in Harry's second year when Dumbledore hadn't even been around there at the end, but even still with that odd advice he'd given indicating he'd known Harry was around, he hadn't offered words of caution trying to deter Harry. He'd instead said the very thing Harry had repeated in calling Dumbledore's bird to him. Coincidence? Maybe, but as this was the fourth time it felt like Dumbledore was in no way hindering any of this happening to Harry, he couldn't really believe it as much anymore.

James and Sirius exchanged a look that spoke volumes, but honestly felt the exact same way as the other two. Dumbledore had abandoned Sirius when he needed him most, and they'd never forgive him for that. They even suspected he had a hand in convincing Remus Sirius had done all of those terrible things. He was the only one who could have done such a thing to make Remus think the worst of Sirius.

Harry felt something crumbling inside him, though he realized it was already cracked beyond repair anyways. This was just more coming out. He knew in his younger years he'd believed Dumbledore could do anything, but now because of last year, and now this, he knew that illusion would never come back.

Still, James kept going, which did not make one beat of Lily's pacing skip. She kept stalking back and forth, wearing out the carpet like that would somehow help.

Both Cedric and Harry would have to do this.

Maxime tried to cut in, but Dumbledore said if anyone had an alternative, he'd love to hear it.

"That's true," James grumbled. "Everyone else has been doing nothing but complaining, but I haven't seen one bleeding person actually trying to offer up a solution."

Silence. Everyone was now glaring at Dumbledore, except Bagman, who gathered his excited nature back.

Sirius started grinding his teeth to fight back the urge to snarl a few more death threats at someone he never believed he'd direct them at.

He decided it was time to move forward, asking Barty if he'd like the honor of telling the champions what they would be up to first. Crouch seemed to come back to life at being spoken to.

"What's got him so distracted?" Lily raised a brow in surprise, finally stalking to her seat, though it wasn't making the situation any better. "What on earth could be going on that's demanding more of his attention than this?"

Harry sighed, that old feeling returning, making him sure that he knew an answer at some point, and he wasn't too eager to learn this one.

The longer Harry watched him, he noticed that his skin looked unhealthy and far more wrinkled than it had at the Cup.

"I would feel bad for him," Remus sniffed, "if he deserved it. It's his own fault for firing his help and acting like a prick to everyone he doesn't deem worthy."

His voice was as crisp as ever as he told the four of them, the first task was to test their daring,

All five of them gave a few terrible mutterings, still wishing more than anything Harry's name wasn't in that, that they could be hearing about this like Harry should be through the rest of the school amongst rumors and in the stands. Now they were going to have to hear what the Triwizard decided daring was, and Harry would be in the middle.

as it was important for a wizard to face courage in the unknown.

"Well, Ron was right," Harry huffed without a trace of humor. "I've lived that part."

None of them looked remotely pleased about it.

He gave the date of when this would be happening, and that it would take place in front of the panel of judges. The champions were not to ask for help from anyone regarding anything during the Tournament.

"Right, I can see that happening." Remus rolled his eyes.

They would go into this first task with only their wands,

"As opposed to the other challenges? Are they going to take their wands away?" Sirius rolled his eyes, though he shuddered at the thought, not even wanting to imagine that kind of horror.

and they would receive further instructs on the second task after the first. Also, all champions were exempt from the end-of-year finals.

"Finally, the bright side," James sighed, sounding like that was still the worst news in the world. He'd give anything for Harry to be taking those stupid exams rather than this!

"Well, how does that work though?" Harry asked. "Everyone else would be in seventh year. They'd have to take their N. E. W. T. s, right?"

"I feel like winning the Triwizard Tournament is your job application." Sirius rolled his eyes, and Harry realized he wasn't really kidding. With the amount of fame and prize money this came with, it really wouldn't be difficult to find a job with those standards behind you, and you had plenty of time to look.

He turned to Dumbledore to indicate he was finished, and Dumbledore kept watching him with concern.

"Guess he really does look bad." Lily rolled her eyes, unable to find it in herself to actually feel anything for it. It felt like compensation for some of the more ruthless laws he'd been passing of late finally catching up to him.

He asked if Barty would like to stay the night at Hogwarts, but Crouch declined, saying he was too busy. He'd left Weatherby in charge,

Sirius finally managed a real smile this chapter, sad that he couldn't do more at that joke.

and while he was enthusiastic, he may be a little overtly so in this case.

"Didn't know there was such a thing," Lily said, still more grimly than with any amount of humor, but at least they were trying again.

"If there was, Percy would hit it." Remus attempted a smirk.

Dumbledore asked if he'd at least like to have a drink, and Bagman jumped in saying Barty was being ridiculous! Everything was happening at Hogwarts. What could be more exciting than that? Crouch gained some of his impatience back as he told Ludo he would not indulge this.

"Good to know he's not too sick." James rolled his eyes.

Dumbledore offered to have a drink with the other two heads of the schools, but Maxime and Fleur stalked out,

"Can't even blame them," Harry sighed.

into the now silent Great Hall, speaking in French.

"Don't need a translation for that," Remus grumbled.

Karkaroff summoned Krum to him, and they left as well, though in silence.

"Krum didn't say a word during that," Sirius realized in surprise, somehow actually thankful at least one of his Quidditch fascinations this year hadn't managed to tick him off yet.

"You'd think he'd be just as outraged as Fleur," James nodded in agreement.

"He was making a lot of the same faces as Cedric," Harry shrugged, "switching between surprise and confusion. Maybe some contempt in there."

Dumbledore turned to Cedric and Harry, telling them to get off to bed, now smiling at the two.

"I still want to strangle him with his own beard," Lily snarled. "Smiling at a time like this, can't someone at least pretend to be upset!"

"I think we're doing that enough for all of them, love," James sighed.

Reminding that their respective houses would want to be celebrating this.

The two left, and only when they made it to the Entrance Hall did Cedric point out that they'd be playing against each other again.

"I'd listen to a hundred Quidditch matches over this," Lily groused.

Harry agreed, his mind not on the conversation, though. Cedric did catch his attention as he asked how Harry had pulled it off.

"If Harry didn't tell them, what the bloody hell makes him think he'd admit it to him?" Sirius snapped.

"He's not any more special than those arse wipes," James agreed.

Harry gave a mild frown at them both, finally understanding why he would have felt so agitated at Cedric this year, as he was sure once the shock wore off, he'd look at Cedric as a rival again. It still didn't explain that other feeling, this want to defend him and not hear a bad word against him. Considering the last time he'd felt this was towards Dobby, and he'd made a few attempts at making Harry's life hell, he didn't feel like sharing that this time.

Harry insisted he hadn't, and Cedric clearly didn't believe him for a second.

Any feelings he would have anyways slipped away at once as his lip sneered in protest along with the others, outraged at once no one believed Harry about this!

He walked off towards the Hufflepuff common room then, and Harry was left to climb the stairs in silence. Was anyone going to believe him except Ron and Hermione?

Harry's breath released in a sudden rasp, looking like someone had just kicked him when he was down. They all thought it was just lingering agitation at what Harry was thinking, though. Even Harry himself had no idea why he'd felt anything for that.

Harry found the idea ridiculous. Why would he want to go up against those who had three years of magical learning over him? Sure he'd fantasized about entering,

"So did every other person at that school," Remus snapped, "and if they say otherwise, they're bleeding liars."

but he hadn't really meant it, he was never serious about entering.

"I'd be a little more concerned if you did think I'd enter," Sirius said at once, none of his usual humor in his favorite joke, but meeting Harry's eyes anyways with a spark of amusement nonetheless.

Harry managed a sour-filled smile for him, but not because the joke had quite worn off yet. He was just a little too distracted still to really give the laugh.

Someone had done it to him, though, and he got the feeling it wasn't meant as a treat.

"If someone really thinks that, they need a dictionary," Lily scowled.

To watch him make a fool of himself? They'd get their wish.

"Now, I don't think that's really all fair," Sirius sighed, still trying his hardest to get a smile going. "Give yourself some credit."

"No," Harry said back, deadpan.

To get him killed? Was Moody just being his paranoid self,

"So far, I think he's actually been the perfect amount of paranoid," James said with a shrug.

did someone really want him dead?

"I hate that I know the answer to that," Remus scowled.

Well, yes, Voldemort certainly did, but he wasn't anywhere near Harry. He was in hiding, feeble and powerless.

"Well, that's not entirely true," Lily murmured, shrinking just a little closer to Remus and her son.

Yet when Harry had dreamed about him, Voldemort hadn't been alone, he'd been with Wormtail, plotting Harry's murder.

"Thank you, because I hadn't remembered that recently," Sirius scoffed, his too-dark eyes still trying to keep Harry's, to show he didn't really blame his pup for thinking about this.

Harry was shocked to find himself in front of his portrait hole, and that the Fat Lady wasn't alone. Harry recognized the wizened old witch next to her as one of the ones from the portraits in the room downstairs.

"The portraits are the biggest gossips in that school," James muttered randomly, his mind happily latching onto anything old and familiar.

She must have run all the way up here to beat Harry. The Fat Lady looked down at Harry, asking if it was true he really was a champion? Harry replied Balderdash, and the other painting shouted it wasn't a lie!

"Timing," Remus rolled his eyes, missing the time where he would have laughed at the fortune of this password happening in relation to this.

The Gryffindor guardian eased her friend this was merely the entrance word before opening. The noise she opened up to was deafening, as seemingly every member of his house reached forward and pulled Harry in to congratulate him, the twins getting there first as they told Harry he should have said something about entering, looking half annoyed and half impressed.

Sirius groaned into his hands, wanting to laugh along with the twins like he always had, but wanting to smack them a good one for not giving Harry a chance to explain himself because he hadn't done this.

Everyone else was the same. They'd procured food, and kept trying to force it on Harry, despite Harry trying to say he wasn't hungry, and in no mood to be celebrating.

"Never thought a celebration would depress me so much," Remus grumbled.

Lee Jordan had found a Gryffindor banner somewhere and had decided to tie it around Harry's shoulders, all of them asking how he'd gotten over that Age Line.

"And not one bleeding one of them got the picture that you hadn't," Lily seethed, wishing Harry would shout it in someone's face already. He was so clearly upset and frustrated by this.

He kept saying over and over that he hadn't done it, but for all the notice he got he may as well not have answered.

James was opening and closing his mouth, clearly having reached the level of too outraged to speak on his son's behalf anymore, so forced himself to keep going in hopes Harry would just leave.

He began shouting at George that he was serious,

"No, I am," Sirius muttered under his breath, more out of obligation than anything at this point.

he just wanted to go to bed! He nearly knocked some of the younger kids over as he finally bolted up the stairs.

"About bleeding time," Sirius huffed. "Where were Ron and Hermione in that mess? They should have been there to at least try and keep that horde off of you!"

Harry didn't answer, and he was getting the ever growing feeling he wouldn't like it when he got one.

He went into his dormitory to find Ron laid out on his bed, and as Harry entered, Ron said hello.

"That's his response?" Remus rolled his eyes. "Hello?! I would have thought he and Hermione had rehearsed another conversation to try and calm him down!"

He was grinning, but it was a very odd, strained sort of grin.

"What?!" Lily balked, sure she'd heard him wrong.

James didn't answer though, didn't even glance up as he kept staring down at the pages, getting a very bad feeling about this...

Harry realized he still had that banner on, and struggled for a few minutes to remove it with Ron simply watching.

"Awkward silence," Sirius muttered into the room, which had somehow joined the same atmosphere.

When Harry kicked it back out of the room, Ron told him congratulations.

"Please tell me he was being sarcastic," Remus demanded, a furious glint lighting his eyes. "I am begging you to tell me, James, that there was some sarcasm in there."

James did not respond, his face going slack and pale the more words he kept pressing out.

Harry demanded what Ron meant, watching that grin become more of a grimace. Ron explained he was congratulating him getting over that Age Line, and asked how he'd done it? The Invisibility Cloak?

"Why would he, what-" Lily tried to stammer out, her face growing steadily more red the more she couldn't snap out a question.

Harry reminded him the cloak wouldn't work. Ron accepted that, adding on that he would have expected Harry to tell him if that were it, because both of them could have fit under the cloak, but Harry must have found some way to do it!

"He would have told you if he had!" Sirius howled in outrage, the shock finally wearing off, and he began trembling with rage. "How can Ron, of all people, think you'd done this! He's not heard a word from you, and he's really saying you did this!"

Harry's mouth was left hanging open, the expression of mingled fury and disbelief still not quite covering the hurt that was quickly rising. Something had been trying to warn him of this, but even with it resurfacing clear as day, Harry didn't want to believe it. He'd always known Ron had some jealousy issues, but this?! He now couldn't decide what hurt worse, someone putting his name in the tournament, or his best friend treating him like this because of it.

Harry said, again, he hadn't done this, someone had done it to him. Ron just raised his brows at him, asking why would someone do that? Harry felt like it would be too melodramatic to say 'to kill me.'

"Sadly, I can believe it's accurate," Lily hissed.

Ron's look did not change as he told Harry he could tell him the truth, it's not like he was going to get in trouble so there was no need to lie.

"I wouldn't tell him the truth now if he begged me," Remus sneered with as much fuel as he could. "Not the way he's acting."

Dumbledore was letting him play, Violet the portrait had told them all.

"Letting him," James repeated crossly, his voice still coming out too quietly, though. He hadn't quite seemed to get past his own disbelief at the situation yet and was still floored on that.

Harry now shouted back he hadn't put his name in!

"Oh, I'm long since past angry," Sirius growled, entirely sick of this whole bleeding school treating Harry like this, now someone who'd supposedly been a friend had joined in.

Ron believed that as much as Cedric, and everyone else, reminding how Harry had said last night he'd find a way to put his name in when no one was watching.

"And you once thought you could turn a rat yellow with a spell a three year old knew wasn't real. You don't see him holding that against you!" Lily half shouted, a muscle going off in her jaw she didn't seem aware of.

Reminding he wasn't stupid.

"Could have fooled me," Remus snarled.

Harry told him he was doing a really good job of proving otherwise. Ron wasn't even pretending anymore, telling Harry he should get to bed for his big photo shoot tomorrow!

Remus made a noise of pure outrage. He hadn't believed he could be more disgusted with the situation Harry was in, and here was Ron of all people proving him otherwise! The baby in his arms began fussing, and Remus was having a very hard time settling him back down when he couldn't even pretend at that emotion himself anymore.

He pulled the hangings of his bed shut around him, and Harry was left staring at a shadow of one of the few people he'd been sure would believe him.

James slammed the book shut with a sharp snap.

HPHPHPHP

*A lot of you suggested the train as an option, so I'm not going to single any one person out because I loved them all so much, but thanks again for the offer. The more I thought about it, the more I realized what a cool idea it was! Sorry if I came across as a jerk to anyone for my initial turn down of it to anyone.

**Come on, you know I had to make a joke about that.

***This and one other are thrown around all the time to kingdom come about a plot hole in the series, and I'm sure you all know what the other is and I'm already working on a far better explanation for it, but for this one in particular...yeah I couldn't really come up with anything. Magic can be outwitted as has been shown, but in this particular instance I think Sirius said it best, just because it could have happened, doesn't mean anyone could have been talked into getting away with it. All that prize money and glory couldn't have been talked on to my slip of paper.

#Harry Potter #Fanfiction #Reading the books #GoF #Jilly #Marauders #Remus Lupin #Sirius Black #James Potter #Lily Potter

[dreaming-of-assclass]

AssClass OC

Mai’s Relationships: Part 1

I’m procrastinating on homework and decided to work on this random ass post about my OC 😂

Her profile is linked here UwU

Warning: this is extremely long and detailed

Tomohito Sugino

Address each other as: “Tomohito” or “Domo” and “Mai”

(The Domo nickname is inspired by one of Fumiko’s ideas UwU)

Besties. Nothing can ever change that. He was the first friend she made when she transferred to Kunugigaoka in 2nd year, and they’ve stuck together since then.

Although their very first meeting was a little unconventional...Sugino almost accidentally hit her with a baseball and she almost threw hands hehe. But they got along instantly after that.

They bonded with similar outgoing, positive personalities and a shared fondness for sports. They hang out all the time and have become so comfortable with each other, they can just randomly show up to each other’s house. Sugino’s family basically adopted Mai, and her family loves him. It’s common to see these two hanging out at a corner store, tossing baseballs at each other to catch, sending memes in class, etc.

Mai is very defensive of him, and will absolutely speak up about his baseball skill, kind nature, leadership, etc. She even stays by his side during the baseball arc to support him. Nakamura calls them platonic soulmates, and both of them honestly agree.

They bicker sometimes since they both can be fiery, but it’s out of fun 95% of the time. The rare occasions they seriously fight are because of Sugino’s overprotective nature/patronizing, and Mai’s clinginess and tendency to get jealous. But regardless of any differences, they will always have each other’s backs. Chaotic besties forever.

Yukiko Kanzaki

Address each other as: “Yukiko” and “Mai”

They did not get off to a good start...it was rather rocky. They just didn’t have good impressions of each other, and neither cared to truly get to know the other. Kanzaki thought Mai was hyper, brash, and difficult. Mai thought Kanzaki was stuck-up and vain because of her idol status. The girls avoided each other, and Mai was less than ecstatic to hear about Sugino’s crush. 

Finally they’re forced to spend time together during the Kyoto trip, when Group 4 forms. They begin to get along more and find a couple shared interests, the ice slowly breaking. Then the kidnapping happens, and Mai stays with the boys and Okuda to find them. Mai is given a job to discreetly locate the girls inside the warehouse and basically figure out it’s layout. She sneaks in and sees the girls, and unintentionally hears Kanzaki’s secret about her 2nd year gaming phase, and is shocked. But now she feels more understanding for her. Mai and the guys and Okuda save the girls, and she especially approaches Kanzaki, making sure she’s okay. Kanzaki opens up to the whole group about liking video games and such. 

Later that night at the hotel, Mai admits to Kanzaki that she overheard her family story and rebellious phase without meaning to. Kanzaki says it’s okay, and thanks her for saving them, and for understanding. They both admit they had misconceptions about each other, but see that they’re not true. 

The girls have an extremely close friendship after that, sharing interests in video games, e-girl fashion, etc. Mai’s competitive nature dies every time she plays against Kanzaki and gets completely owned and teased. They hang out a lot, and Kanzaki comes to basically live at Mai’s home, with how often she’s there. They’re the type of friends to sneak out of an important meeting to play games and talk together. They both become very protective of each other, and grow to think of each other as family.

They definitely balance each other out in terms of personalities and attitudes. Kanzaki is more calm and rational compared to Mai’s bold and outspoken self. Mai’s open-book nature contrasting against Kanzaki’s aloof image. Even if these differences can lead to some clashes, they both appreciate it a lot, and value each other’s views.

Also they definitely try to help each other with their best/worst subjects. Kanzaki trying to help Mai with Japanese work is the funniest thing to see because eventually they just mutually give up and move onto video games.

Hinata Okano

Address each other as: “Hinata” and “Mai”

These two are like two halves. Plain and simple. They hit it off super well on the first day of meeting each other, which was in 3-E. Well, it’s more like Mai wouldn’t stop bothering her or starting up conversation lmao. But they had instant chemistry, especially when around mutual close friends like Kayano and Maehara. 

As soon as she realized they had the same birthday, Mai happily declared them to be sisters, and nothing would ever change that. Okano rolled her eyes, but secretly loved it. Okano uses that against her, saying that “Since she’s the older sister, do as she says.” But Mai always retorts with “But I’m taller.” 

They’re extremely close, and bond over so many things. Being sporty, liking skate-boarding, teasing Maehara, etc. They’re definitely each other’s go-to person for venting and confiding in, since they somehow are almost always on the same wavelength.

They can get into bad arguments though, given their similar temperaments. But it’s over in 2.5 seconds, and after screaming at each other, they’re laughing at memes together.

They love challenging each other in PE and assassination-related things since they have pretty similar styles. They love when they get partnered together, although it’s not as common as they’d like. Overall just an adorably vicious combo of short-tempered cuties.

Justice Kimura

Address each other as: “Kimura” and “Mai”

Oh boy. Whenever these two are around each other, they just become a wild gremlin duo. They equally enable each other when it comes to being chaotic. They’re just really good friends who can be playful with each other. 

They became friends and got to know each other mainly thanks to PE and mutual friends like the class athletes. Before they knew it, they started to just hang out without others, they vibed so well.

Kimura lives to make Mai burst out laughing with his random edgy jokes and humor. There’s just always a lot of laughter whenever these two are together. 

That said, Mai is not immune to Kimura’s worst antics, like the parkour incident. For the first time, she gets so upset at him but after yelling her head off like he expects, she just crumples to the floor and cries. She really needed that good grade to show her mom, and because Gakushuu had spent so much time tutoring her...

Kimura feels like shit and apologizes, and they don’t talk for a couple days. Mai definitely forgives him and moves past it though. Sometime during watching the kids at the school, she hugs him and apologizes for going off on him. Kimura says it’s okay since he was being a selfish idiot in the first place. Their friendship goes back to normal UwU.

Mai loves to tease Kimura for A LOT of reasons, but his name is never one of them. She calls him “Shorty,” “Dumpling,” and always pinches his chubby cheeks, to his annoyance. She definitely roasts him whenever he pulls some harmless stupid stunt that results in disaster. But on a serious note, she’s his biggest hype-man and always cheers him on in PE and in schoolwork. If anyone makes fun of his name, she absolutely will deck them.

Karma Akabane

Address each other as: “Karma” and “May-chan”

Almost everyone was nervous on his first day, and how these would inevitably meet. The class was certain that Karma would test Mai’s already-thin patience, and they wouldn’t get along.

But to their surprise...these two did get along. Really well, actually.

Mai, a natural moodmaker and very open-minded girl, appreciated Karma’s quirks and the odd mystery surrounding everything he did. She thought he made an already weird-situation even wackier and more interesting. She also couldn’t help but have respect for how successful he was at his first try, although it was buried under her envy.

Karma in turn also appreciated her, and how she was so easy to read. Mai is literally an open book, which Karma gravitates towards. In the first ten minutes of meeting her, he realized she was totally fun to tease because of how irritated and snappy she’d get. Hence, their friendship formed and Karma teases her every single day. He also calls her “May-chan” in a very exaggerated American accent since her name is commonly mispronounced like that, and it’s the quickest way to annoy her.

Overall, these two are really good friends, but definitely in a very sibling-like manner. They make fun of each other a lot, but would murder anyone else (outside of 3-E) who dares to. Even though they’re around the same age, it sometimes feels as though Mai is his younger sister. She loves to drag him around by the arm sleeve or wrist, for no other reason to drive him crazy. Also, they both are strawberry snack enthusiasts, which they bond over. Occasionally, Mai will assist him in his pranks, just to try and make sure she doesn’t become the target of one. Nope, she still is. She’s either entertained by or tired of his shit. 

Also...these two clash a bit in Civil War, because Karma’s vagueness really frustrates her. In general, Mai tries to keep an open perspective of the issues surrounding Group 4 leading up to Civil War, so she’s not completely pissed at him. But she does call him out and speak to him upfront about what problems he’s causing.

Don’t worry, their relationship definitely improves afterwards, once everyone receives some closure. Their teasing sibling-like dynamic continues to stay throughout high school and in the future. 

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