#holy fucking shit is this long

[purgemarchlockdown]

On Narratives, Victim Dichotomies and Amane’s Voting

(Also Known as: I'm sick of not being opinionated on my blog about opinions, lets talk about narratives)

(CW: Child Abuse, Cults, Child Death)

(Disclaimer: As I can imagine there’s probably going to be a lot of people reacting defensively to this so what I'm stating Right Now is that I Do Not Believe that most people voting Amane Guilty is doing it because they believe her abuse was justified. This is not, at all, designed to be an accusatory post.)

So a few days ago I read the “MILGRAM” x “Clock over ORQUESTA” interview which you can read right here.

It’s a really interesting interview and I recommend reading the whole thing but the one that caught my attention was this part.

Yamanaka: That's a difficult question... I'm always conscious of emotional control in my work, but in “MILGRAM”, the content has more live feeling to it. So the story progresses realistically based on the presence of the audience. I think I used a different brain than I have been using to create works up until now, I see it as necessary to think very three-dimensionally. I'm currently trying to turn the audience into characters in my work.

This was really interesting to read and made me immediately think of Amane’s voting.

So Amane’s voting situation is currently trending downwards, even with the initial boost from Double she's been going down slowly recently. This is in stark contrast to the large amount of innocent votes she originally got when Purge March released the first time.

Now the reason I connected the two is that I've noted a narrative being formed between the audience and Amane, specifically, an abuse narrative.

The Text

Let's take a step back to the T1 voting landscape, one that I was admittedly was not apart but I do however know what happened. Amane was voted guilty to make her better and to help her realize that the cult was bad and hurting her. Jackalope acknowledges this intent in the T2 and is dismissive about that idea.

Jackalope: It doesn’t matter whether it’s a child or whatever, when you commit a crime… what? Jackalope: ...Why are you making that face? Jackalope: Are you thinking “I want her to realize her sins" Jackalope: No no, no way…

This verdict comes right after Es Restraining her in the T1 VD. Something Physically Violent that causes her an intense amount of Distress. You can hear her struggle during it, with her breathing heavily and her tone of voice becoming panicked and scared.

In this part she's even surprised that Es would be violent like this.

(Translation)

Amane: What is it? Are you resorting to violence?

Now most people in general would become panicked and scared when restrained. But considering Amane most likely has Experience in being restrained to be harmed, something that we have evidence for in Magic due to the punishment sequences. There is a good chance that Amane was Triggered during this moment.

Amane is in a noticeably worse mood after this, wanting to start a fight with Mikoto.

21/04/16 

Amane: ………… Mikoto: Oh, welcome back Amane! ……what’s with the grim face? Ah, right, the guard summoned you! How was it? Did you cry? I bet you were so scared you cried, right!? Amane: ……alright then. If it’s a fight you want, it’s a fight you’ll get. Mikoto: Huh? Oooi! Hey, are you listening?? Ooooi!

Now this is a T1 Amane, and no matter how blunt or even "bratty" T1 Amane could get, she is never outright aggressive except for this moment. Even when she feels threatened and patronized by Shidou she doesn't react with aggression but frustration, first trying to explain to him why it feels bad when he does that and when he ignores that, saying she'll find someone else to teach her.

Plus, due to information from T2 we can assume aggression is not approved of in her cult. This is the only moment in T1 we see her be outright aggressive towards someone. Right after being physically restrained by Es, and Mikoto antagonizing her by invalidating her feelings.

When Amane got that guilty verdict she was confirmed something, that Es was Willing and Able to Physically Hurt Her. When the restraints from the T2 Guilty Verdict came it also meant that Es and the other prisoners who were innocent are in a position to harm her with her being unable to fight back.

Not only that but the ideal we were denying when that verdict came down was not her cult...it's her "sin" that sin being her Will To Live.

It's easy to believe that what we deny in T1 and T2 is her cult, that's the most obvious thing after all and that's what Amane brings up in her T1 VD.

Amane: Ah, I am looking forward to it! Seeing whether your judgement will align with that of these higher standards! If that is the case, maybe Milgram would be the right world for us to live in, rather than the outside world! Milgram relies on your judgement, isn’t that right? In that case, you could become the mediator for a far more righteous world!!

And to some extent we are denying her cult by giving her this verdict! However, that isn't the main thing Amane is asking us.

In the T1 VD the main thing Amane is concerned about is the concept of "free will" and how "seriously" her feelings are being taken.

A: I see. Then, are the things that I as a twelve-year-old think irrelevant? Are you going to cast aside the feelings that I know I have in this very moment, purely based on the fact that I have not yet lived for a very long time? Judging these things based on someone’s age will not take you very far. Do I, at age twelve, not have my own will? Does Muu-san, at age 16, have more of a free will than I do? Does Yuno-san, at age 18, have more of a free will? Does Fuuta-san, at age 20, have an entirely free will?

If we're breaking this down to the basic concept, this is the question Amane is asking us.

"Do my wants and feelings matter even if I'm a child?"

Magic gives us one response to this. No.

Magic treats Amane's pain as "comedic." With Amane being portrayed as childish for reacting so negatively to it. Her wants and feelings Don't Matter. It isn't a big deal. Why are you being so sensitive about it? We're just trying to help you.

This is important to consider when it comes to the questions Amane asks her god, and the Audience.

Dear wise one, Is this ok? Is it ok to be weak sometimes? I promise! A good girl that keeps a promise is like, mwah! I won’t say “I’ve had enough” Will you laugh with me and forgive me?I take an oath! I can only become a better girl!

Is it alright to be weak? Can you forgive me for being weak? Is it alright that I Did This?

Amane never stops singing this, and she never declares herself a "good girl" In Magic and not only that, she rejects the Idea She Could Be One in the Fist Place.

Only if, only if, only if I could be a good girl I hope, I hope everyone can be happy and smile Forever, forever together would be a dream

"Only if" a condition, the requirement being Amane be good. And yet she's treating it like a dream, something unachievable and unreachable.

Now where did I get "will to live" from? It's not something super noticeable in Magic but if we go to the interrogations...

T1 Q12: What is the meaning of life? A: I think it is something you learn for the first time when you look behind yourself when it ends. I do not want to have regrets then, so I live on with all my might.

There it is!

As we know, Amane was been waterboarded

beaten

sleep deprived

electrocuted.

And also has No Medicine or Vaccinations, and is possibly malnourished since her vegetarian diet might not be Planned Properly and thus can't provide her with the nutrients she needs (though that's speculation on my part.)

She most likely has a weak immune system due to the amount of Stress she's been under for most of her life, and lack of sleep can also weaken your immune system. Not to mention she isn't immunized against diseases...like the flu. Which Can Kill You, especially if you have a comprised immune system and No Vaccines.

Not only that, waterboarding, physical beatings and electrocution aren't exactly things your body is designed to survive, especially with no Medical Care. Waterboarding can kill since it's Simulating Drowning and if there's no oxygen in the lungs you Suffocate, Beating...beats you, electrocution sends electricity Through Your Body, and even if the voltage is Low it can and has Killed People.

These are all very dangerous things to go through, especially without any sort of medical care. So when Amane says that, she says that with the knowledge that she could have died, many, many ways, and many, many times.

These we're all done to "save her" to" purify her sinful soul" and Amane has gone on record to describe this as "Love"

T2 Q2: Do you believe you were loved? A: Very much deeply.

And has also gone on to define love as "mercy"

T2 Q9: What does love mean to you? A: To spread mercy with no limits.

To spread mercy with no limits...like being a child perhaps? Even if your a child, you can be granted "mercy" and "salvation?"

(Jackalope: It doesn’t matter whether it’s a child or whatever, when you commit a crime… what?)

These actions were done to "help her" and would have Killed her.

Now, we didn't know about Amane's mother in T1 and admittedly there was not much evidence of her being the victim before T2. However we Do have evidence it was life or death...because Amane was horrifically punished before committing the crime in ways that could have actually killed.

The implication here is clear. If Amane doesn't Do Something she is going to die. It's not a question of If, it's a question of When.

When she asks god if its okay to be weak, when she asks the Audience if its okay to be weak. She is asking if it was alright to Choose Herself over "What is Right." And we said No.

The Audience

Now, you might be feeling some dread now. I am at least and I'm writing this damn thing. The intention of the T1 Guilty Verdict was to "help her" and yet through that it has repeated a pattern of abuse. In our actions we have punished her so she can "learn" and pushed her closer towards a possible death (the death penalty.)

So when T2 Amane rolls around she's aggressive, unwilling to listen, has doubled down on methods of self-punishment and her cult's world view, is physically restrained and presumably punished in other ways, hears voices telling her she's wrong, and is Self Isolating.

This is Really Bad. We've put her in a state that resembles how she acted in her abusive environment, and it is Our Fault. Let's not weasel our way out of this, this entire series is built on that idea that the actions of the audience have consequences.

As Barfsunny even pointed out, The T2 Amane Cover art resembles the scene in Magic where she "punishes her Mother."

And since she's facing the Audience, we are being put in the Role of Her Mother.

The same person who did this to her:

We are, to her, reminiscent of her abusers.

If we go back to how Amane reacts to Threats, she is notably only aggressive when she's being Threatened and Cornered.

We can see this with Es and how they restrain and have authority over her. We can see this when Mikoto antagonizes her and her feelings, we can see this in Shidou when he patronizes and invalidates her feelings.

22/10/24 (Shidou’s Birthday)

Amane: I warned you. I can no longer turn a blind eye to this wickedness taking place right in front of us. You’re bringing ruin unto yourself. Do you understand? Shidou: No, I don’t understand. It’s my job as an adult to teach you that throwing a temper tantrum isn’t going to make everything go your way. If it’s a test of endurance you want, I’m happy to oblige, Amane.

And we can see this in the Audience in how we voted her guilty and decided that she should Be Hurt.

Now that we've established our connection to her abusers...let's talk about that Dichotomy I mentioned in the title and how Purge March (and Milgram as a whole) purposefully plays into it.

Victim Dichotomies.

So what do I mean by this? Well it's very common in fiction and audience reactions to categorizes victims as either "good" or "bad." With good victims often being appealing, pitiful and a naturally "good person", while bad victims are aggressive, unappealing and tend to do "Bad Things."

Now these are subjective terms, since...morality is subjective. But it is a trend in both fiction and fan spaces to categorize victims using a sense of what's morally justifiable or not. I was in the Steven Universe Fandom, that was/is a Thing There.

Now, let be clear here, there are absolutely destructive, harmful, maladaptive, ways of coping with trauma. However Moral Catagorization of it is neither productive nor constructive, it just makes it easier to demonize people for not "handling" their trauma properly.

This is relevant to Amane because she is repeatedly portrayed as "scary" in her MV.

Look at the use of lighting and framing, the camera being positioned slightly lower to make the audience feel smaller, a constant shadow on the band members faces that makes them feel...well...cast in shadow. The bright light of the eyes feeling inhuman and unnatural, the dark lighting of the room feeling ominous. With a white figure standing in front of a dead body.

This is what you do when your trying to portray something as "scary" or even "evil."

Amane: Both pain and illness are trials. According to our teachings, those who run from them are the worst evil there is. That’s one of the four great principles. No matter who you are, that cannot be forgiven. Amane: Oh – speaking of which, there is one among the prisoners right now. An evil existence that’s trying to steal people’s trials away from them.

Running away from pain, Amane? Stealing away people's trails for them, Amane? Like choosing to save yourself from being punished again? Like choosing to help a cat?

Not only that but the lyrics of Purge March is this:

The “It can’t be helped”, from the scum who can’t be helped That makes them doubtlessly, clearly, absolutely, unequivocally, beyond any doubt, GUILTY I disavow you, eyes corrupted must be crushed So nary a sound can be uttered a second time, I’ll crush your throat too

This is undeniably a revenge song. This is Amane Momose's Revenge Song. Her fantasies about being able to be the one punishing this time and not having to be in pain again are at full front here. She Wants to hurt her mother.

You are supposed to be Scared of Amane Momose. This is the Expected Audience Reaction.

Shidou is brought up in her VD, both for foreshadowing purposes and to make you Anxious. Amane wants to hurt Shidou, Amane wants to hurt Shidou. A constant reminder of the possible consequences of Letting Her Go Unpunished. If you don't punish her Now she could hurt someone Later.

Once again, we are being put in the position of her abuser. Only this time there really is a few things at stake.

Though I will like to mention, most likely the only reason why Amane was able to kill her mother in the first place is because she had two weapons, the umbrella and the taser.

Something that was brought to my attention by deerlydreaming is that you can actually hear the Buzzing and crackling of the taser throughout Purge March. Most notably it becomes A Constant Part of the Instrumental at the end. That Taser is most likely what Amane used to prevent her mother from escaping her before continuing to murder her. This makes sense because Amane is probably physically weak and twelve years old.

And while Amane Can catch Shidou off-guard. Shidou not only wants to live because he needs to Help People, the rest of the prisoners are aware of her hostile intentions towards him. He is not Safe by any means, and Mahiru is still being threatened, but he is Not In As Much Danger as you might think at first.

And, Notably, characters like Yuno and Fuuta, who are involved in the medicine, are treated patiently by Amane. Even if she's a bit rude or unwilling to talk, Amane is willing to answer their questions and give them advice. This is not Just About the medicine.

I mentioned that Shidou makes Amane feel threatened already, but the anxiety from Mahiru is probably because she and Shidou parallel her parents. I talk about it a bit more over here but the jist is not only does Mahiru have notable lyrical parallels with Amane and similarities in world view (Love = Pain.) Mahiru has also asked Amane about her parents.

20/07/06

Amane: You want to know about my family……? My father is a truly wonderful person. He’s honest, values fairness and justice above all else, and will work himself to the bone for other people’s sake……. Why do you want to know? Mahiru: Oh, I was just wondering what sort of parents you must have for them to have raised such a good child like you. Fufu, I’ll keep it in mind for the future when I raise my own family. Amane: I see. If it will be of use to you, I’ll tell you more. It’s still a long way off for me, but for someone your age the prospect of finding a partner and having a family must be feeling a lot more real. Now that I think about it, I recall my mother was around your age when she gave birth to me……

Mahiru is both around the age her mother gave birth to Amane And thinks of her as a good child and wants to use them as examples for how to raise "good children."

This is why Amane wants her dead but also wants her to be apart of her family, she's less condescending and hurtful so Amane has some positive feelings towards her but she still reminds her of someone that Hurt Her, badly. Muddying it a bit.

My overall point though is, Amane plays into the good victim/bad victim dichotomy. She's a bad victim, a bad kid, not good enough. She's scary and bad and childish. She's not an "ideal" victim.

This connects back into her cat imagery. Where Amane is portrayed as the Cat.

(Purge March Cat having Different Injuries gets to me)

Let's all note that the bow and medal are two consistent parts of her costuming and they are her collar, and that she also has a collar in her prison uniform.

The cat is repeatedly conflated with sin and impurity, both here and in other instances of the cat. There's another cat in Magic and that cat is Collared, implying that cats Need to be collared or else they'll do something "bad" unlike all the other animals who can walk without them.

Cats need to be Restrained and Domesticated.

Or else they will do "sinful actions."

(Don't we all love the dehumanization of the vulnerable? Im personally fond of it, please let her become an actual monster in T3 Milgram Im begging you-)

This isn't the first time Milgram has done this! They did this with both Haruka and Muu!

Haruka is portrayed notably creepier in AKAA than Weakness. While Muu is portrayed so pitiful in After Pain and then In It's Not My Fault...well...

I told you I’m queen, and it’s always the same God gave me everything, everything is as I wish

(Using MV translation for the sake of clarity)

And again, not to say these behaviors aren't destructive, harmful and maladapative. I'd for one say Muu is Very self-destructive in her behavior and shoots good things for herself in the foot. But the point is that these characters Also play with the concept of being a "good victim" and a "bad victim."

And of course, if your not good enough, you will be punished.

Conclusion

I'd say something about voting here but I think its really obvious what I want people to vote Amane as. But more importantly I think its important to consider what narrative the story is trying to tell. What is trying to make you Feel and Why. There is a meta-commentary here about the way society treats vulnerable people. Especially ones who are considered "unappealing." It's...remarkably easier, to punish someone that's been hurt once it's been decided they aren't "good" enough. And I think that's important to consider when voting.

#milgram #amane momose #008 #milgram amane #milgram analysis #milgram meta #cw child abuse #cw cults #holy fucking shit is this long #everyone enjoy the post!

[svtskneecaps]

i also just want to point out the qsmp members' commitment to like never letting the inactive members die. like dantdm logged on twice and is canonically dead and everyone continues to blame mysterious happenstance on him. spreen is canonically dead and yet people are still like namedropping him even tho the house façade he built has been demolished and also probably consumed by a mountain. they meme on kameto who's barely been on except that time he was a fed spy that was iconic as hell. they just immortalize their members and they're always so happy to see old faces come back and it lowkey makes me emotional lmfaoo like missa barely logged on for a while but goddamn nobody forgot his name bc philza can't go one day without mentioning him and mariana barely logs on but every time fit saw the homeless mariana in roier's city no matter what he'd stop dead and tell it "come home" and when slime came back to the server for elections after having logged off for the last like two months everyone was still excited to meet him bc the others had kept his memories on the server fresh and alive, maxo died canonically in the nuke and pierre pasted his face all over the server, luzu vanished for months and we never forgot him either thanks to the computers and foolish's wack ass family tree. like when purgatory teams were chosen and team red constantly joked about how it would be so over for the other teams once germán logged on despite the fact that germán had only ever logged on ONCE, the way they cheered when they snatched rubius in the split of green despite the fact that rubius hadn't logged on more than twice since march. they just keep the names alive all the time and it's like

it just makes me really happy to see. like it makes me really happy. like the admin team and the members alike are like 'no way in HELL are we letting your memory go' like damn once ur on isla quesadilla you really are stuck as an islander forever :D

#qsmp #shut up vic #block game brainrot #not gonna put this in the main body because 🤢 but also #filler tag filler tag ravioli ravioli you must hit read more to see this #the hatsune miku jokes to keep a member's memory alive during a long hiatus are also an example of this effect #anyway i really hope the server can continue and the issues are resolved #bc i'd really love to see pol back on the server like genuinely #there's more examples obviously and not all of them are ones i can remember #but just. i mean even the dead eggs whose admins aren't even on the team anymore #every month bad and dapper made a point to visit their graves and remember them (sometimes with company) #it's like holy shit fucking goddamn it hits me in the chest seriously #sorry for the massive unbroken paragraph that's how the thought looks in my head too so i opted not to break it up

[deadsetobsessions]

Once more the hallucinations hit, and once more I am here writing it out.

My brain is fucking terrifying and I want out, so bad. This came to me in the form of a nightmare.

Also, please don’t take the timeline into consideration, because I have no idea what’s going on. Again, nightmares and dreams tend to not have the best coherency when it comes to plot and timelines. The reincarnation doesn’t have a name, I was too busy feeling terrified. Shit in parentheses was how I experienced the nightmare. Everything else is just me adding sprinkle sprinkle.

——

Ra’s al Ghul.

Talia al Ghul.

Two names that she had been aware of, in the peripherals of her hyper fixation. Two characters meant to enhance the story of the Dark Knight. Side characters, on a good day. Perhaps, a main antagonist on a better day.

On a bad day?

Main characters. Real, living people. Real, living, breathing assassins.

Unfortunately, they’re her new family. One she remembered coming into, bathed in a pool of blood and screams.

She was not a baby.

She is now, a baby. The first of Talia al Ghul’s children. The eldest, once Damian al Ghul was born.

Swaddled in emerald green and gold silks, she was presented to a man with silver streaked hair and a receding hairline. He too, was robed in green and golds.

“A daughter, Talia?” He rumbled, the smooth Arabic flowing out of his mouth failing to hide the acrid disappointment. The child, past the haze of confusion of suddenly being deported from her own adult body into one of a helpless child, felt a stirring of irritation. It’s good she learned the language, because now she knew exactly how Ra’s felt about her. The child grumbled a displeased sound. Not that she would have ignored the fact that her grandfather was Ra’s al Ghul. (He smelled like moth eaten fabric and blood- but I think that was because my cat accidentally scratched me.)

“My apologies, father.”

“Do not tell the young detective of this. Had it been a son, perhaps things would have been different. No, a daughter would only hinder him.”

Talia bowed, hands tightening on her daughter. “May I raise her, father?”

“A resource is still a resource. Go ahead, Talia.”

“Yes, father.” Talia took the dismissal and bowed before leaving.

On her way back to the room with the reincarnation’s crib, Talia al Ghul stroked her daughter’s head.

“I wish you were born a boy, my daughter. I am sorry my beloved will never know of you.”

The reincarnation looked at her new mother. She’s young, the woman-child realized. A teenager.

“You’ll have to be useful, my daughter. Your grandfather is not so kind as to keep the useless. I… do not wish for your death,” her mother muttered.

Great. She got new life and it’s already in danger.

——

She learned to swing a knife. Swords. She learned and devoured the teachings. She learned to be useful.

But then they asked her to take the life of a man who did her no wrong.

Her baby blues clashed with her grandfather’s Lazarus green.

She was still young. A child.

“No.”

“No?”

“He did no wrong.”

“He failed, granddaughter.” Ra’s smiled down at her, patronizing. Cruel. “Perhaps you possess your father’s heart, and you are foolishly sentimental, as women and children tend to be. But in the end, you are an al Ghul and you will obey. Plunge in your blade and I will reward you.”

The reincarnation looked at the man kneeling in front of her, resignation and a hint of pity in what little she could see of his face.

She’s already died before. What did she have to be afraid of?

“No.”

They tried to beat the weakness out of her. It didn’t work.

——

The reincarnation stared at the mirror, left alone in an opulent cage of gold and emeralds and precious stones that meant little to her now.

Her hands traced her back, small fingers finding purchase in soft skin. Her mouth opened fruitlessly, noise refusing to escape. She still felt the burning magic, the brand her own blood had carved into her skin and soul because she refused to kill. The chains her grandfather had shackled around her with magic and cruel amusement.

She had killed him, in the end. Obey, or be punished. Her body had moved without her permission, the reincarnation a prisoner in a body that refused to do as she commanded. The knife swung, a life taken, her hands dipped in red.

She learned a valuable lesson that day.

There were things worse than death.

“This is an order, granddaughter.”

The Magic had flared a searing heat at her neck, forcing her to kneel on broken legs. Ra’s loomed above, authority in his voice. She was bound to obey, regardless.

“You will never speak another word of affection, you will never speak another word to anyone unless I allow it. Perhaps this will teach you of your folly, and your place in this world.”

The loss of her freedom and the fear that came with it was a bitter and devastating lesson.

——

Ra’s al Ghul was so much worse than what little she knew of him.

She was right to be afraid for herself.

Her mother had worried, when she’d withdrawn and refused to speak to her. Even if she could, the reincarnation would not have wanted to. The reincarnation had felt furious, back then, when she thought of Talia. Her mother who refused to protect her. Her mother, who claimed she loved her but refused to see the chains Ra’s wrapped around her neck. She who plied the reincarnation with a supportive hand but forced her into the fighting pits.

But, as the reincarnation stumbled out on bruised and used legs from Ra’s al Ghul’s meeting chambers where he had allowed his business partners to partake in her, she realized that Ra’s was a monster in a human’s body and her mother was a victim of his making.

The lesson Ra’s taught her that day was that if she was not useful, if she did not kill, he would take what was left of her and make use of her.

Hate flared in her heart, and the beginning of Ra’s downfall began the day he let her go from the chambers alive. Injured, but alive. Injured and violated, but alive and furious.

——

She carved her hate and rage and helplessness and fear in the bodies of the people he bid her to kill. Her silenced screams were expressed in the way she splattered blood, the way she covered herself in it. A killing machine first, a stress reliever second, and a child… wasn’t on the list of things she was allowed to be.

His enemies were felled, one after another. He gave her his approval, something she detested.

But still, she continued, bodies racking upwards, tens turning to hundreds, hundreds edging into thousands.

The red in her ledger became ichor and guilt. Her language became violence and obedience.

“You have become a sharp tool, granddaughter.”

She was a genius, after all. And now, she could not disobey. A blade that Ra’s believed will never point towards him. She kneeled. She obeyed.

“Thank you, grandfather.” Her words were only allowed to come out- without searing, terrible pain- when she was thanking him. She tried not to do it as often as he wanted. He thought he broke her when he read the obedience she carved into her body language.

But she never bowed. Never. Not to him. Never.

——

“My weapon could learn much from your granddaughter,” David Cain sat across from Ra’s, wine in their stupid goblets. How she detested the green and blacks he’s seen fit to dress her with. She’s dressed provocatively, not of her own choice. She doesn’t have much of those- doesn’t have much in ways of choices- these days.

She was twelve, and Ra’s al Ghul deserved to die.

“Her combat is a higher form of what my daughter has achieved. How did you do it?”

When Ra’s began to reply, she slipped away.

She found the girl. She found… the cage- the black box- the child was placed in. The child flinched from her when she opened the metal box, fear only easing as the reincarnation kept her body language neutral and kind. (It was pitch black, and about the size of like, a closet. No light. Only from whatever door the box had.) (Cass’ hands hurt from banging on the walls to be let out)

David Cain’s daughter, her mind whispered, the memories of another life once more making itself known.

“Cassandra.” She whispered, regretting it immediately when pain wracked her body. She fell to her knees as the punishment for disobeying an order slammed into her.

The girl looked at her in concern, but did not move closer. The reincarnation stared at this girl and saw a reflection of herself.

David Cain would be here for a month. She will free Cassandra in those days.

——

The weapon stared at the girl in front of her, kneeling in pain.

She did not understand.

-

The girl came back. Water. Food. Kind.

The weapon felt warm. The girl was quiet. No sounds. Good. The weapon knew the girl understood. The weapon thinks that the girl is a weapon too.

-

The girl comes back, again. This time, she makes a sound. It hurt her, but she did it again. The weapon understands when the girl points at herself and repeats the sound. The sound means the girl. The girl expects something from the weapon.

The weapon makes the sound, flinching to see if the owner will come to punish it. The girl purposefully sits, relaxed but vigilant… and protective. Of the weapon?

The weapon relaxed. It repeated the sound, pointing at the girl.

The girl smiles, in pain. But approval. The weapon feels- the weapon is warm, like under the blanket. Approval.

The girl teaches her to make sounds but the weapon communicates without it. It does not like the sounds, does not need them, but the girl seems to think it’s important.

The weapon likes the girl, so the weapon learns. They still understand through no sounds, through reading each other.

-

The girl comes back, silently. Secretly. The weapon does not notify the owner. The weapon feels- does not want to.

The girl- the girl with the sound- she says a different sound. Her body tells the weapon that it’s important, this sound.

And when the girl points at herself and says her own sound, then points at the weapon and says that new sound again, the weapon begins to understand.

The girl had given the weapon her own sound.

“Cass—n- ra.”

“Cass,” the girl said, and Cassandra understood.

“Cass.” Cassandra pointed to herself.

-

The owner wanted- wanted Cassandra to end a life. Cassandra watched the owner kill and gesture to the dead thing.

Cassandra did not want to.

When Cassandra is placed back into the pitch black box, she waited for the girl.

The girl came.

“Don’t want.” Cassandra clung to her, reading the welcome and the sadness in the girl’s body. Cassandra tucked her face into the girl’s shoulder. She is cold. The girl is warm.

The girl hugged her back. The girl understood. Sadness hardened into lines of determination. Cassandra felt… light. Felt hope.

-

Cassandra slipped away from the place, water in her pack for the dessert and money to run from the country. The girl stayed behind, seeing her off. The girl tells her to never come back.

Cassandra did not want to leave the girl behind, but the girl could not go.

“Be free, Cass.” The girl had whispered through the pain. “For the both of us.”

——

Her grandfather knew. He allowed David Cain to break her, not kill because she was of use to him still, as a lesson. She found that she hated his lessons. But, she hated his attention more.

And still, she could not regret. How could she, when Cass trusted her with what fragile hope she had?

So, she lets him beat her, and provokes him with smirks and fearless eyes because the longer he’s focused on her, the more time Cass has to run.

Then, he gets too angry, and insults Ra’s, whose eyes grew cold. Her grandfather gestured and while she usually hated the command that followed that gesture, she could not feel that hatred now.

She got back up, legs broken and arms twisted once more, and attacked David Cain.

Ra’s would not follow Cass. Not when she was not his business to deal with, and not when David Carin’s fury amused him so.

David Cain would not follow Cass. Not while she still drew breath. The reincarnation stood, and threw herself at one of the best assassins of the century.

She tore his throat out with nothing but her teeth. She felt, for once, not like a monster. Not even when Ra’s nodded in approval and ordered for David Cain’s broken body to be cleaned up.

——

She’s been granted a mission in New Jersey, once her months of discipline- of torture- ended. She does not get ordered to find Cassandra. She’s fourteen now, and as silent as ever. Her mother had adjusted to her silence by then- long ago, actually, taking it as a quirk her daughter had developed. She hadn’t been a terribly vocal child, after all. Talia praised her for being useful even as a woman- the self degradation something the reincarnation had no doubt Ra’s had insidiously trained into Talia- and for being loyal to Ra’s.

Sometimes, she hates Talia for being- for-

Never mind. She couldn’t afford to hate anyone else.

She killed her targets early, determination and wistfulness urging her movements into sharp . Then, she made her way to Gotham and slipped into the city of darkness- where her father was.

She watched as he hid in the shadows almost as easily as she did. She watched as he flew and glided with the younger Robin. (He was younger than her by a year. She checked.) He was free. They were free.

She wished…

As she turned away, she saw a child tumbling from the edge of a roof. It was an instinct she’d thought Ra’s had managed to bury after the months he’d spent making sure she killed only children.

She hated him.

She caught him, swooping in and tucking him against her side as she plucked him from the air and plopped him back onto the crumbling roof of Gotham’s slums.

“Oh, thank you! So much- are you a vigilante?” The boy asked, looking at her masked face. It’s a good thing she wasn’t exactly dressed like a regular League operative.

She shook her head. Her eyes fell onto his camera, faint memories rising once more. She had an inkling-

“I’m- uh- Tim!” The boy introduced himself nervously, edging away from her silence. “Thank you for saving me…?”

She nodded. She pointed to the camera, tilting her head.

“Oh- you… want to see it?” He clutched his camera closer. Oh, he did have some sense of self preservation. She wondered why a seven year old was allowed to roam these streets… but she did worse at seven.

She held her hand up and back up. The boy hesitated, and then showed her the camera. “Uh- I took pictures of Robin and Batman!”

They sat on that roof for hours, and she let Tim Drake tell her stories about her father and his son. Ward. Son.

She could tell that Tim didn’t have anyone to listen to him.

She didn’t have long until she had to go back or risk severe punishment, but… she could make time for Tim, to listen to him.

She wondered if Cass managed to escape completely. She wondered if her sister all but in name and blood learned how to smile.

——

Tim had never had a friend before!

She listened to him! And gave him hugs the one time he was brave enough to ask! And she seemed to like Batman and Robin as much as he did! No one who didn’t like them would listen to his endless rambling otherwise, right? (Tim was super skinny, like ribs poking out skinny. He looked like a sickly Victorian child and he was kind of cold)

“And then, Robin went like this,” he pantomimed the awesome punch Dick Grayson did on a Joker goon. “And the guys got knocked out just like that!”

His new friend nodded, looking interested.

“Sorry, am I talking too much?” Tim asked anxiously. He didn’t want to make his friend hate him!

She shook her head, and gestured for him to continue.

“Are you sure?”

She nodded.

His new friend was so cool! She even taught him how to throw a punch and to fight!

——

When she had to leave, she prepared Tim for it.

“Do you have to go?”

She nodded and placed a hand on his head, ruffling his hair. Her other hand held a duffle bag with an assortment of weapons she carefully kept from him. (One of the blades still had guts on it, which, ew.)

“Try not to fall off anymore roofs, little photographer.” She said, smiling at his shocked look before leaping away.

“Wait, you can talk?!” He shouted at her back. She smiled a little wider.

——

“A son, this time.” Ra’s al Ghul’s voice echoed in his disgustingly flashy throne room. It rings of approval.

The reincarnation stood behind her mother, eyes cast downwards.

“Well done, Talia. I finally have a worthy heir.”

Damian al Ghul cooed.

The reincarnation was scared. But… she could not allow her younger brother to be trapped like she was. She’s fifteen now, a decade of slavery having worn her down and nearly broken her. But with her brother… no, she could not allow it.

She met her mother’s eyes and knew then that they agreed. Protect Damian, at all costs.

She ignored the sting of envy. So what her mother could not find it in herself to protect her daughter? So long as she protected Damian, it didn’t matter.

Maybe she didn’t matter. Maybe she wasn’t worth anything. Maybe- maybe- maybe.

She also ignored the seed of disgust she had for mother’s actions in conceiving Damian. She couldn’t do anything about it. Talia was also a victim.

A louder voice in her asked if she could really excuse that, when Talia had a choice and she chose to hurt and violate Bruce Wayne like that. She wondered if she could truly ever forgive Talia. She wondered if Bruce Wayne got therapy.

——

She stared at the tome in front of her, eyes blank. (Actually, she had no eyes. Like? Empty sockets, but then later she had eyes???)

The brand- the shackles- the chains could only be broken if Ra’s died. She wasn’t opposed to that. But if he died, so did she. She couldn’t even kill herself to get out, because the chains would be there even if she died. If she was revived- a high chance, thanks to the fucking pits- then the chains would still be there.

Perhaps… she could use the pits?

Her mind turned and turned.

——

“This is your ukht.” Her mother pointed at her. Damian stared up at her, and she melted. Her brother was too damn cute.

“Ukhti?”

She nodded as her mother smiled in joy. “Yes, habibi.”

She was better at hiding the pain, now. She was better at enduring it, too, that fucking burning feeling. She spoke more, but only to Damian.

It would not do for her brother to grow up not knowing how to receive verbal expressions of affection. Not like she did, in this life.

Still, it hurt to speak. But then, she had an idea, based on Cassandra.

She could not speak, but speaking wasn’t the only way of communication. She’ll teach Damian sign language- standard, as commanded- but also her own version. Yes, she could do it. It wouldn’t be hard.

She was a genius, after all, and creating languages wasn’t as hard as people seem to think.

——

Damian copied her, small fingers patting his hand four times.

She did it back to him. “I love you.” She tells him, with sounds and with motions.

He does it back, excitedly, because he had a secret with ukhti!

——

Sometimes, she dared not to touch Damian. She wants to ruffle his hair and give him hugs but the ichor on her hands reminds her to not get to greedy. She did not deserve it.

Not when her hands were stained with the lives of so many people.

——

Another mission.

She was twenty now, and not much closer to escaping her bonds. Though, once she hit her majority, Ra’s lost interest in her in that way. A blessing, even if she had to seduce his “business partners” into giving him better deals more often now.

She stops by Bludhaven. The Robin she watched so many years ago- six, by her count- had grown new wings and moved. She wanted to see if he could fly still.

He could. He flew as free- no, freer than his days as Robin.

She dipped away to complete her mission (nuclear weapon trading, really?) and swings back to see a spider trying to break the former Robin’s wings.

“No.” Nightwing whispered, staring upwards at the cloudy sky blankly. “Please, stop.”

She didn’t need to hear any more. She saw red, and dove feet first straight onto the spider’s head, knocking her out.

She picked up a near-catatonic Nightwing, and helped him to his apartment. She left Tarantula in the rain and felt zero guilt about it.

He changed mechanically, some kind of instinct keeping him from removing his domino, but it was a bit pointless considering she escorted him to his personal apartment.

She watched as Nightwing slipped into an exhausted sleep before leaving. She had a spider to squish, and traces to hide.

——

Dick wakes up, drained and exhausted. He… someone saved him.

He sees a scrawled note, handwriting impeccable enough to be a font, written with his pen. He picked it up from his table, and his eyes tiredly read the message.

“Don’t worry about Tarantula. Or your identity.”- A friend.

He remembered- the mask- the mask of the stranger that saved him vividly. He’d remember. And he’d thank them if they ever came back.

——

She was in charge of training assassins, these days. A year and a half later after Bludhaven, she was back in Nanda Parbat, and she’s devoured every magical tome she could get her hands on. They all say the same things.

Her assassins were trained well, and Ra’s praises her with more responsibilities as he followed the pit in his obsessions. Her mother began to splinter the group, not knowing that as Ra’s began his descent into madness, people looked towards her instead of Talia for leadership. They did not know that her unwavering presence by Ra’s side wasn’t voluntary but it is their true that she became his right hand out of pure skill. And flawless obedience, of course.

Then, someone new joins.

Someone with pit rage and empty eyes that goes rigid when she approaches.

Then again, most of the operatives freeze up when she walks towards them.

Her memories roar. A child.

He bowed, and her eyes followed the streak of white hair at the forefront of his skull.

She gestured at him to follow, and ignored the pitiful eyes the rest of the assassins gave to the kid- they act like her training was hard when she went easy on them (it was)- and led the kid towards the training rooms.

She knew who he was, even if her grandfather and mother didn’t think she knew.

Her… Bruce Wayne would probably appreciate his son being returned relatively sane.

But first, she had to beat the Pit out of him. Then, she could assign body guarding duties to him, in an attempt to protect him.

——

“Grandfather, I will take Damian’s punishment.”

“A whipping girl, granddaughter?” But he nodded anyways. He made Damian watch.

She kneeled and allowed the punishment. She couldn’t always protect him from Ra’s, but this she could do anytime. It’s not like she was unfamiliar with the torture. (The whip had barbs. Rusty. And they sprinkled salt.)

——

“I liked poetry….” Jason Todd tells her after a training session. “I think.”

“Sure. I’ll call you Grave, then.” Pain. But she was used to it.

He tilted his head, eyes going blank once more. She sighed. There went his memories again. (His eyes were blank and glazed. Like looking at someone you love and knowing they’re looking through you.)

——

“I would not trust her,” she says to the air, next to a Red Hood emerging from Talia al Ghul’s chambers. She could see it, the beginnings of Gotham’s new crime lord. But still, “Talia al Ghul is known for her lies.”

She pushed away from the wall. It was up to Grave if he listened. It was out of her hands now.

——

She’s twenty-five, and she’s helping Damian pack for his first meeting with Bruce Wayne.

“You must not tell him about me.” Because he’d come rushing here, and she had worked too hard to save Damian for her fool of a father to come and ruin all of that effort.

“I promise.” Her little brother said solemnly. Ukhti said it out loud, which meant it was important and she expected him to keep that promise.

The only other time he’d heard her speak was to tell him she loved him.

The reincarnation smiled and told him through their special sign language, to treat the current Robin with respect and to try his best to get the current Robin to pass down his title.

‘Robin is earned. They have different rules, over there. Try your best to learn those rules.’

Her brother was sheltered. She loved him, but he was spoilt and sheltered. Of course she was worried. Talia barely mothered him.

“I know. You do not have to remind me so often, ukhti.”

She smiled, and patted his head.

“Be safe,” she whispered. “I will miss you.”

Damian darted in for a hug. “Of course. Goodbye, sister. See you soon.”

She hoped not. It was hard enough to convince Ra’s that Damian would learn more under Bruce Wayne.

(She was locked in a small closet- like Cass- for about a week, because she brought up the idea first.)

——

She found it.

The answer to pit rage laid in an old, all but crumbling tome from Atlantis- answers “from a ghost.”

——

Bruce Wayne died. Months after Damian came to live with him. That- irritating- she sighed and worked with her mother to turn Ra’s al Ghul’s attention away from Gotham, lest he called Damian back in Bruce Wayne’s absence.

The little photographer caught grandfather’s attention. She stood vigil as he played chess with Ra’s. His interest in Damian wavered. Anticipation blurred in her veins.

She saved his friends. Her assassins. She let them go, telling them to wait for the little photographer’s plan. (Y’all miss girl had fucking bloody handprints on her pants like someone tried to grab it.)

The first few people who had an inking she might not be loyal to Ra’s… and it was them.

When her other assassins attacked Red Robin, she cut them down before they could touch him, helping him with a furious League of Spiders or whatever operative. She hated spiders.

“What…?”

“You’re a lot of trouble, little photographer.” She sighed. His jaw dropped.

“It’s you!”

“Go,” she cut him off. “Blow this place up. I left a surprise for you outside.”

——

“Owens?! Z?!” Tim trembled, exhaustion and shock and wonder hitting him at once.

“Heya, boss!” Z chirped. Owens helped Tim up while Z helped Tam. Pry walked around them, looking out for further threats. “The nightmare trainer let us go. She knew you, I think.”

Tim smiles, all shark teeth and zero hero. (In the background, the song zero to hero from Hercules 2, played in reverse.) “Tell me more.”

——

Damian grunted, bracing himself for the magical creature’s attack.

“Robin!” His father barked out, panicked. Damian hoped he’d survive-

Shhhlk!

He looked up and there stood his ukht. She bounded forwards, using the odd fauna of the magical plane to bolster her movements as she sliced the creatures apart with her swords, magic humming brightly as she cut through them… and the magicians attacking them.

“What- what are you doing here?” He asked. She greeted him, three fingers curled over her shoulder.

‘My question is,’ she signed. ‘Why were you here without a magical weapon.’

Damian sighed as father stepped in between them.

“Who are you.”

“Batman. Cease your excessive worry. I trust her with my life,” Damian snapped. He stepped around a shocked Batman, looked him in the eyes, and unsheathed his katana. He handed it over to his ukht, who took it with amusement.

‘See?’ His eyes seemed to say. Father tensed when his sister unsheathed her own blade and handed it to him.

‘Are you here for a specific reason?’ His sister signed to him.

“Uh, you gonna introduce us, little man?”

Damian sent the Flash a derisive look and ignored him.

“We’re looking for a magician. He set a squadron of demons loose into D.C. last night. He has a tower.” Damian added.

“Robin,” Father growled. “Who is this.” Damian shot him a look and turned back to his sister.

The reincarnation tilted her head. ‘Tower… it’ll have to be that way.’

“Could you take us there?” Damian asked. Truthfully, he could find the way himself. But he wanted more time around his ukht. She nodded and Damian straightened.

“I feel like we should be concerned that Robin’s friend just murdered a bunch of people.”

His sister glanced back and ignored them.

“Silence, incompetents. Speak another word against her, and Batman’s no killing rule will be applied creatively.” He hissed. (The fucking surroundings hissed with him y’all what the fuck)

He turned when his sister ruffled his hair (Superman muttered a super shocked “what the fuck.”) and Damian allowed it. He had missed his sister.

——

#I have vivid nightmares #batman #oc in dc #dc #batman fic #idea for a fic I definitely don’t have the time to write #reincarnation #isekai #once more my brain has seen fit to fuck me over #tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon #like holy shit what the fuck #brain what is wrong with you #tim drake #jason todd #Damian Wayne #Damian Wayne’s older sister #dp reference lol #couldn’t resist #oc gets Isekaid and proceeds to have a shit of a time #y’all there’s a second part to this shit #it’s a long ass dream

[bixels]

Splatoon 3: Side Order is good, but not great. I still highly recommend it, but if you care about the story, you're going to be disappointed. Quick review: spoilers ahead.

Side Order was the devs experimenting with Splatoon's gameplay loop. The campaign is a rogue-like, and it works amazingly well. Super fun, super challenging, building my deck and fighting through challenges with the stakes of resetting really scratched an itch in my brain. They did a great job with it.

Unfortunately, I feel like priority went to game design rather than story. Much of the mysterious artwork we saw in the first teaser trailer was completely unused; turns out, all of that was just concept art that never made it into the final product. Side Order failed to make me care about what was happening. I don't know why the protagonist had to be Agent 8; it could've been anyone else and the story would've worked the same.

Octo Expansion was the absolute peak of meshing story and gameplay. The campaign's hook is insanely strong; we immediately empathize with Agent 8 because we know from previous lore that octolings like her have been trapped underground for all their lives. We care about her fight to the surface because it's a fundamentally ideological fight for freedom. The plot stuff about Tartar and the Thangs is just nice set dressing; 8's fight for freedom is the real story.

There's none of that in Side Order. I don't particularly care about Marina's metaverse, even if it's tied to Octo Expansion's story. I don't know why Acht is there other than backstory stuff. It really feels like 8 is just told to do something and she does it because she's the protagonist; she has zero personal stakes or motivations in the conflict. This is a story blunder the devs did in Splatoon 3's default campaign––forgetting to give the protagonist a personal reason to fight––that I hoped would be fixed here, but alas.

What makes it worse is that the gameplay and story progression are completely out of sync. I beat the entire game on my third run in 4 hours. With each run, you get up to two keys to potentially unlock bits of story. That means you'll get about one piece of the story every two runs. There are twelve pieces of the story; I got the first and then beat the whole damn game. Now I have to go back and grind to see the remaining story when I've already beaten the final boss and resolved the conflict. I missed the entire story because I never had to reset because I blazed through the gameplay! It's just a real shame that I experienced everything without knowing... why it's happening. The final boss had me asking myself what the hell is going on because I don't know the backstory at all.

Again, I still really recommend. The devs did a great job, but Side Order remains in the shadow of Octo Expansion's incredible success. Like the default singleplayer campaign, there's just a lot of lost story potential here that, while not necessary, would have really elevated this DLC into something amazing.

#long #personal #rant #splatoon #side order #it's a shame too because I got SO FUCKING HYPED at the title drop #when I realized that the entire first 30 minutes of the game was JUST THE OPENING TUTORIAL and they hit you with the music #and the “nintendo presents” and the title drop to a slow mo explosion. I thought “holy shit this is gonna be huge” #alas it wasn't because it turns out i'm better at roguelikes than the devs anticipated so i beat it in 3 hours lol #octo expansion was a cultural reset. it did something to my brain. the entire rising action part of the story; the reveals the twists the #boss fights the upward climb. it was so incredibly hype and just upped the stakes over and over. nothing's come close

[sanjisboyfie]

-> started more like a crackfic headcanon, but then it got rlly serious at the end??? mb igggg

gojo's definitely the type to slap your ass in public. not even in a nasty way, genuinely (or more like 50% of the time it's not in a sexual way). he just likes slapping your ass??? you've tried asking him why he does it so often, but he just grins and shrugs his shoulders in response. it's always a flirty response, like, "i can't appreciate my beautiful boy's ass?" or, "y'know i can't keep my hands off of you, handsome,"

he's such a fucking annoying boyfriend. like genuinely. could you imagine having a 6'4, lanky man latched to you - literally trying to melt into your skin? no, because you don't have to imagine it, it's your everyday life. you wake up? his arms and legs are tangled with yours that you have no choice but to wake him up. you're cooking? he's hovering behind you with his back hunched and head resting on your neck as he is still working on completely waking up. you need to go to catch your train for your job? oh...but can't you just spend the day in with him? he'll do whatever you want >:) just skip work and stay with him!

he's so needy and clingy. it's actually insane how much a grown man can WHINE. oh my god, you think about doing anything without him - ANYTHING - and he's already complaining overdramatically that you don't love him. he goes from 0-to-100 really quick, meaning you guys could be cuddling and he's nearly knocked out, you gently move him off of you to get up to PEE, and he's suddenly reciting all of the heartbreaking lines shakespeare wrote, claiming, "you!! you heartless man, have driven a stake right through my heart and i shall never recover from such a pain you've brought onto me!!!" as if you're not going to be back in like thirty seconds ??? max.

he's the strongest sorcerer, but if you're around, he's nothing but a man in love with his boyfriend (and hopefully more. he fantasizes a lot of what a married life with you would look like...).

he actually could care less about other people when you're there - you have to verbally remind him of his duties as a jujutsu sorcerer or else he will very easily ignore them in exchange of spending time with you.

another thing that comes with dating this man is that he will do everything, above and beyond, in his power to keep you out of harm's way. let's say you weren't a jujutsu sorcerer, he'll let you in his lifestyle in full confidence nothing will harm you. he's already talked to the higher ups, if they try pulling some bullshit out of their ass in putting you in danger, he's gonna actually slaughter all of them. it was a meeting he had with them when you two just made it official and, comically enough, he was snapped out of his gruesome, detailed rant on what he would do to them by a call from you ringing through his phone.

you have him completely wrapped around your finger and he's not one to shy away from showing that. he thinks public acts of devotion are the best ways to show his loyalty and love for you to other people. it's so hilarious how he will literally fall to his knees begging on a random street, just for you to look at him. just because you're looking at what a vendor's stall is selling doesn't mean you have to look away from him???? hello ??? please be more considerate of his feelings, his heart cannot take this much.

and despite how carefree he always seems with you in public, if you are still in a public area, his senses are actually hightened to their peak. there's absolutely no way he's taking a chance with you getting harmed if he's there, he'll ensure you're safety above anything else. he protects you with his life and will happily exchange his life for your own - if it ever came down to that.

and he's proclaimed that to you several times which has earned him worried scoldings everytime he said anything along the lines of, "i'll risk my life to protect you," but he always pushes your scoldings aside. because then he comforts you saying that: he's the strongest for a reason and he will use all of his strength in protecting the future the two of you will have together. he can't live without you, so obviously you're staying safe. and he'd actually rather step on a thousand legos than imagine you living your life without him. selfishly, he wants to be the center of your universe, like you are for him (alright, eren jaeger headass...)

neither of you have to worry about that though! he is still the strongest ever, there's nothing that could pull him away from you (there was one time his students genuinely tried doing this and it was impossible. physically trying to pull gojo off of your body was impossible). and he wants to spend every waking moment with you. so not only are you being protected 25/8, but you're being affectionately doted on, loved, and cared for for each of those passing seconds.

#jujutsu kaisen #gojo satoru #jjk x reader #jjk x male reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x male reader #gojo x reader #gojo x male reader #satoru x reader #satoru x male reader #jujutsu kaisen x male reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #holy fucking shit these tags are so long #because people be calling gojo both gojo and satoru #and i have to tag for both #which essentially doubles the tags #gojo satoru imagines #satoru imagines #gojo imagines #male reader #x male reader #x reader #LMFAOOA its so funny how long this fucking list is #im never doing this many tags ever again idgaf #clingy gojo #needy gojo

[qcomicsy]

Nicola Yoon The Sun is Also a Star / Batman #650 / Batman: Under the Red Hood (2010) dir. Brandon Vietti / And My Father's Love Was Nothing Next To God's Will by Amatullah Bourdon / Vulnerability - A.j. / Batman #650

#this took so fucking long holy shit #but I'm satisfied with the result #Jason Todd #Red Hood #Batman #Batman: Under the Red Hood #web weave #webweaving #poems #quotes #q goes insane in the notes #🦇🦇🐦🐦

[forevermore-quoth-the-kitten]

Exhausted MC Who Just Wants to Sleep

After finals, MC is stupid exhausted since little of the material they've learned is stuff you go over in the human realm and cramming was the only way they'd get a decent grade on their finals. But it's over now and they need sleep! MC just KNOWS someone's going to end up in their room at some point and wake them up, so whose bed do they flop into instead?

Lucifer

you walk into the doorway of the living room where everyone is gathered, looking exhausted, announce "i'm giong to sleep. if anyone even thinks about waking me up or doing anything that would wake me up, i will make them eat Solomon's cooking." before stalking off down the hall.

As you stumble towards your room you realize that you literally have no privacy in your own and room and with whats left of your brain power, you turn towards Lucifer's bedroom, no one ever bothers him or causes a scene in his room, garunteeing you silence for easy sleep.

Lucifer wants to tell you off, but the threat is real. even if you didn't look so dead tired he could tell by your tone you very well meant it.

Lucifer wonders for a moment if he should get you to eat and drink something, but he's seen your progressively worsening dark circles and hes positive that you won't stay awake long enough to get much down, so he resolves to bring you a treat and set it in your room later for you to awaken to.

its a few hours later when all of his own work is done. finals are over and with the last bit of work done, break had started.

Lucifer walks into his room to put the work down and out of the way for the time being, but freezes in his doorway.

you're laid on his bed, face down, one shoe off, the other half off, your bag dropped on the floor a few feet from his bed, and soft muffled snoring reaches his ear.

once Lucifer gets over his surprise, he smirks, but gently closes the door and keeps his eyes on you as he puts his work down before moving closer to you.

you're not even all the way on his bed, your legs are hanging off the side and your school uniform doesn't seem to be undone at all.

well aware that won't be comfortable, Lucifer carefully untucks and opens the other side of his blankets and sheet before tapping your forehead, placing a sleeping spell on you to keep you from waking so he can take your overcoat and sheos off, at the least, before placing you in his bed and tucking you in.

its takes you 12 hours to wake up, and he watches from a chair as you stumble to the bathroom, pausing at the sight of him for a moment with bleary eyes, before you drop back into his bed and are back asleep right away.

the next time you wake up Lucifer isn't there, but he's left you some danishes and a bottle of water. your'e still in his bed when he returns and by then its night again, so he crawls into bed with you and pulls you close as you both sleep.

Mammon

you walk into the doorway of the living room where everyone is gathered, looking exhausted, announce "i'm giong to sleep. if anyone even thinks about waking me up or doing anything that would wake me up, i will make them eat Solomon's cooking." before stalking off down the hall.

As you stumble towards your room you realize that you literally have no privacy in your own and room and with what's left of your brain power, you keep going and head to Mammon's room. no one ever goes to Mammon's room, so it's probably the place you'll get the best sleep.

Mammon is terrified at the threat and goes stiff, watching as you stumble away. for once he thinks about it before opening your door when he gets annoyed about something and wants to spend time with you. and after thinking about it, his hand on your door handle, he decides to just not and stalks off to his own room, pouting the whole way.

when he gets to his room he walks right past his bed to the couch, flops on it, and the remote is in his hand before he registers the body in his bed.

he jolts up and looks over the couch at you, curled up in his bed and fast asleep, soft snoring coming from you.

cue Mammon going bright red, and just staring at you for a minute before he scrambles up and goes over to look at you as closely as he dares. you're on your side across his bed, looking so peaceful and it's just too damn cute! his heart can't take it!

Mammon wants to actually get you in his bed, but he's scared to move you and wake you up (he absolutely does NOT want to have to eat Solomon's cooking, no thank you), so instead he snags a few blankets and covers you with two of them before settling down on his couch to play on his phone and keep an eye on you. maybe he should order some food for you to eat when you wake up?

when do you inevitably wake up, Mammon shoots up from his couch and watches you, staying oddly quiet and silently offering you a half melted smoothie and a burrito. you stop and snag both from him, sitting on the couch with him and watching tv but not paying attention to it. once your food is gone you flop over onto his shoulder, asleep within a minute again after it.

Mammon's gone completely stiff and has no idea what to do, but he wraps one arm around you and eventually texts Asmo for help once his face is no longer related to a tomato. his brother helps him move you both so you're laying down with your head on Mammon's chest. Asmo takes so many pictures that go on his Devilgram and the cuteness of post finals snuggles goes viral.

Leviathan

you walk into the doorway of the living room where everyone is gathered, looking exhausted, announce "i'm going to sleep. if anyone even thinks about waking me up or doing anything that would wake me up, I will make them eat Solomon's cooking." before stalking off down the hall.

As you stumble towards your room you realize that you literally have no privacy in your own and room and with whats left of your brain power, you double back and easily slip into Leviathan's room, dropping into his bathtub bed. It's dark, quiet, his fish tank is just really soothing, and Levi never lets his brothers in his room, he has protection on his door to keep them out for that reason. It's perfect.

Levi gulps at your dead zombie expression and absolutely terrifying threat if you're woken up and mentally swears he won't even go near your room until you come out to make sure he doesn't get caught up in the doling of the punishment if something happens. and obviously the best way to avoid you is to go to his room.

that turns out to be a FUCKING BUST because he walks in to find your foot hooked over the side of his bed and he Cant Avoid You if youre IN HIS BED!!

oh shit oh shit he's seen this in his anime and manga but what the hell is he supposed to do when it's real life?! Levi's panicking but he hears his brother's voices and before he can think it through, quickly closes his door to avoid them seeing him or seeing you in his room. he should- yeah, you're trying to sleep and if you'd come to his room, that means you think his room is the best place to sleep, so he needs to make sure it stays that way!

Levi's a man on a mission until he stops to realize what this means and once again panics, bright red, until he decides he needs to just focus and move around. it takes him half an hour to carefully edge close enough to remove your shoes and then he tries to grab your leg to tuck it into his bed, but you move when he's barely touched you.

Levi jolts back, heat beating fast and absolutely not moving or even breathing until you've curled into his bed and he's positive you're asleep again. thank fucking diavolo, that was clsoe! (it wasn't, you were dead to the world, but Levi was positive you'd been awake for a minute when he touched you).

with that over Levi lays a blanket over you and wonders what to do, he cna tgame becuase he gets heated and yells and he can't watch most of his anime's becuase he gets emotional and yells.

in the end he decides to open Mononoke Land on his handheld system since its a chill game and he won't have to worry about waking you up playing it.

when you wake up he goes as still a stone, waking up from where he's sleeping in his bean bag when you walk past him, until you stumble back out of his bathroom and flop bakc into his bed, gasping for breath when he hears you're asleep again. after that Levi deicded to have food and water out for you when you wake up. but his stuuf he hoards in his room you probably shouldn't eat yet, you should have something better for you?

He ends up texting Beel and then Lcuifer, questioning what he should have for you. Beel's suggestion is to have a lot of options for you to choose from, but Levi knows when he finally gets sleep after not getting much at all that he really doesn't want to have to pick from a bunch of stuff. thankfully Lucifer knows the answer better so he gets some cheese fries and sticks them in his mini fridge with some elextrolyte water to give you when you get up again.

when you do he reheats it and stumbles over his words, but you take the food and settle down next to him to watch anime. Levi is not paying attention to it, you're sitting too close for that. but then you're done eating and you've had your full of water and hhoooOOOLLYY SSHHIITTT you're asleep on his shoulder!!

Panic! doesn't move and just blankly stares at his tv for the next few hours, not daring to do anything that might wake you up.

Satan

you walk into the doorway of the living room where everyone is gathered, looking exhausted, announce "i'm giong to sleep. if anyone even thinks about waking me up or doing anything that would wake me up, i will make them eat Solomon's cooking." before stalking off down the hall.

As you stumble towards your room you realize that you literally have no privacy in your own and room and with whats left of your brain power, you turn away from your room and you barely have the energy to avoid Satan's books on the floor, but thankfully his bed is empty. the avatar of wrath is considerate and while normally you'd worry he'd cause a scene in a fit of anger, Satan would never with you and his brothers don't often venture towards his room if they're mad becuase it makes him mad, so it's pretty chill there.

Satan is amused at your threat, knowing he won't be the one to wake you up, but is concerned at how you look. he's seen how much you've been studying and hes proud all your study sessions seem to have gone well, but Satan decides he should do some research to see what else he can do to help you out when you wake up from the ordeal.

he doesn't expect to see you in his room, much less with your bag dropped among his books without care, all of your clothes still in place, not even your shoes off.

when he, relatively quickly, recovers from the surprise, Satan carefully closes his door, bright red. the fact that you're sleeping in his bed shoes that you both trust him not to wake you up but also that you feel his room is going to be the best place to sleep.

hes beyond flattered and is thankful that around you it's much easier to control his temper. Satan sets your bag aside once he's stopped smiling like a love-sick dumbass like Mammon before taking your shoes off and carefully moving you up. he shushes you when you grumble at being moved around, but he gets you down to your underwear, figuring that's how you'll sleep most comfortably, before tucking you into his perpetually unmade bed.

when you wake up teh first time its the middle of the night and SAtan's asleep too, book on his lap and slumped in his chair. you smile at him but youre quick to go back to sleep. (at this point if you're male, nothing changes. but if you're female, you take your bra off because who would wear that to bed? when Satan sees your bra on the floor when he wakes up, he bluescreens and stares at it for a good five minutes, brihgt red, until he regains his composure and sets it with the rest of your clothes.

when you wake up again you're quickly faced with a blushing Satan thrusting a long t-shirt in your face before huffing about food and water waiting for you. if you don't beat his ass for being a dick right when you've just woken up, you laugh about it and slip the shirt on before moving over so you can both sit on his bed and eat.

you fall asleep on his lap after the food and Satan takes a minute to relax after that, but once he does he find himself running his fingers through or over your hair, smiling at you happily for a bit before laying back to doze off for a bit himself.

Asmodeus

you walk into the doorway of the living room where everyone is gathered, looking exhausted, announce "i'm going to sleep. if anyone even thinks about waking me up or doing anything that would wake me up, I will make them eat Solomon's cooking." before stalking off down the hall.

As you stumble towards your room you realize that you literally have no privacy in your own and room and with what's left of your brain power, you walk past it towards Asmo's room. he might be known for sneaking people into his room, but the demon is the Self Care King and if you need sleep, his bed is going to be the best option for great sleep. and even besides that, Asmo was never going to wake you up, so you're pretty sure you're safe from any annoying shenaniganery.

Asmo is horrified you would ever use Solomon's cooking as a punishment, but he has to admit that, based on his own and his brothers reactions to it, it's a very effective threat.

Asmo is very happy though, he's seen your complexion get worse and your eye bags get bigger since you've been forgoing sleep for studying and he hated it! but you ignored him every time he said otherwise, so no you're finally going to sleep, and once you wake up he's going to make sure you get the best spa day of your life!

with that though, Asmo jumps up and heads to his room to plan out what you'd do when you woke up-

oh my diavolo you're sleeping in his bed and it's so cute!!

Asmo's first reation is to snap picture after picture of you and post it to his devilgram, gushing about how you just came in to sleep after finals and he found you like this!

then, despite how much he wants to show more of you, he sets his phone aside on silent and finds himself just adiring your sleeping face for a few minutes. you've flopped face first onto his bed, face buried in his pillows, bag in the middle of his room and one shoe hanging onto your heel by a thread, the other half under his bed.

Asmo, once he's gotten his fill of watching you (for the time being), lights a candle with a sleeping potion in it and lets you breathe it in a bit to make sure you wont wake up as he strips you of your RAD uniform, slips you into some of your favorite pj's, and gets you into his bed properly for some rest.

Asmo leaves his room for a while after that, leaving to go shopping for some special things to use for your spa day when you wake up, deciding to also grab you some yummy treats and a drink on his way back. he convinces Levi to let him borrow his minifridge for your stuff and snuggles up to you that night for cuddles. he knows when you get up and uses his bathroom but opens the blankets again when you come back to let you crawl back into bed.

the next time you get up Asmo leads you to his chaise and gives you the warmed up pastries and drink, chatting quietly and gently with you, asking if you're still tired after that. you are so he gets you back to bed and chills until you're ready to be awake and take care of yourself with him.

Beelzebub

you walk into the doorway of the living room where everyone is gathered, looking exhausted, announce "i'm giong to sleep. if anyone even thinks about waking me up or doing anything that would wake me up, i will make them eat Solomon's cooking." before stalking off down the hall.

As you stumble towards your room you realize that you literally have no privacy in your own and room and with whats left of your brain power, you head farther down the hall and slip into the twins room, dropping onto Beel's bed, knowing their room is quiet and that Beel isn't going to bother you or be bothered by you sleeping on his bed. you've done it before so it's the most logical conclusion.

Beel's hurt and horrified you would ever make them eat Solomon's cooking, none of Luifer's punishments have ever been that cruel!

later, when he's gotten some food from the kitchen for a snack before dinner, he makes sure he tiptoes when he walks by your room. Beel's very proud of himself for making it past your room silently, pushing his door open and barely stopping it from slamming into the wall when it does, seeing you on his bed just in time.

why are you on his bed? is something wrong with your room and no one knows yet? Beel's very confused as he sets his food down as quietly as he can before closing the door. he doesn't want to wake you up, but Lucifer will yell at him if he eats his food outside of his bedroom. Beel eats slower than normal, taking care to be quiet, watching you the whole time until Belphie walks in and also freezes at the sight of you.

unlike Beel, Belphie grins. Beel wonders what belphie picked up on that he didn't, he knows he can be oblivious sometimes but doesn't quite understand yet why you're here instead of your room. you've slept in his bed before, obviously, but-

that's why. Belphie laughs softly at him. they've slept in your bed and know that it's quiet here, our brothers are going to bother them if they're sleeping here instead of their own room.

Beel lights up at the knowledge that you trust them, but more importantly, him. you find his bed safe and comfortable and even though Belphie's bed is right there and the avatar of sloth is the perfect person to snuggle and sleep with to get a good rest, you're in his bed.

he blushes at it and grins to himself, happy, finishing his food before he moves and carefully tugs your shoes off of you and nabs your coat so you can sleep better before heading down to dinner. Lucifer chews him out for eating the contents of the fridge right before dinner but Beel's not too bothered by it, your presence in his room sticking to the back of his mind through the meal.

when he gets back he tries to wait, since both you and belphie are asleep now, but he knows he wants to sleep in his bed, so he carefully nudges you over and crawls in behind you, pulling you into his arms so you won't roll out during the night and falls asleep, happpy at having your warmth.

and when you're awake, Beel wakes up the moment you move. its fine if you come right bakc to sleep, but if he can sense your hunger, you better believe this man is picking you up and carrying you to the kitchen, making you drink water (mostly on that half awake autopilot eveyone has) as he gets you both some food. No matter what time it is, Beel's set and ready to get the best food in the fridge he can find in you before you fall asleep again on his shoulder. it makes eating his own food hard, but Beel will manage just fine if it means you get the sleep you need.

Belphegor

you walk into the doorway of the living room where everyone is gathered, looking exhausted, announce "i'm giong to sleep. if anyone even thinks about waking me up or doing anything that would wake me up, i will make them eat Solomon's cooking." before stalking off down the hall.

As you stumble towards your room you realize that you literally have no privacy in your own and room and with whats left of your brain power, you head farther down the hall and slip into the twins room. after a moment of deliberation, you fall into Belphie's bed. not only does no one ever come into the twins room, when they do they're quiet about it. and if you're in Belphie's bed, it's pretty much guaranteed you'll have the best sleep of your life.

belphie was already asleep after being awake all day for finals, but he woke up to the sound of your voice. he only cauhgt part of it, but the message was loud and clear and a very good threat, if Lucifer doesn't use that against them he should get Satan to help him use it on Lucifer.

Belphie is back asleep once you've stopped talking, full well knowing he's not going to be the one to wake you up. that's fucking funny, the constantly sleeping avatar of sloth waking you up? its preposterous. annoying to avoid your room so it doesn't happen, but not impossible.

Belphie has his nap out in the living room until dinner, where he decides he's full when he almost falls asleep in his food and goes off to his bedroom.

only to find you in his bed.

. . . what, did you think that was going to stop him?

Belphie just smirks, knowing you knew exactly what you were doing, wanting, and asking for by doing that, before crawling into bed with you. he breathes a sleeping spell over you so he can strip those pesky clothes off of you without worrying about you stirring.

similar to Asmo, he slips some pj's on you after stripping you down to your underwear. not your favorite pair, the pair he stole from you to keep in his room for times like this, because it was bound to happen (and he was right).

when you wake up he lets you go, knowing you're barely awake and will come right back to bed. he can feel it when your body starts stirring, needing food and water, so its easy to shoot Beel a text asking him to bring you some. Beel of course brings enough for an army, aka, the three of you, and Belphie keeps you in his bed while you eat, making you drink plenty of water beofre he lets you drop back to sleep like he knew you would.

when when youre rested enough that you actually want to get up? good luck, hes got a tight grip when hes asleep and Belphie's hard to wake up, he wont want to let go awake either, so you're gonna be stuck for a while.

Bonus Round

you walk into the doorway of the living room where everyone is gathered, looking exhausted, announce "i'm going to sleep. if anyone even thinks about waking me up or doing anything that would wake me up, i will make them eat Solomon's cooking." before stalking off down the hall.

you don't go to your room, thats going to quickly backfire since demons dont understand that you like any sort of privacy and just barge in and SOMEONE is going to forget your threat and walk in or fight outside your door. so where do you go? the quietest place in the whole house.

the attic.

its two hours before anyone tries to check on you and realize your not in your room. the demons then look in their rooms and all over the house, but you're seemingly nowhere to be found.

it ends up being Belphie, who's worried but exhausted, sneaking up to the attic to take a nap that finds you there.

you think he's going to tell the others about the spot and out both your sleeping place and his favorite napping spot? lol, that's funny. Belphie just smirks, happy he knows where you are and thus you're safe, so he curls around you to sleep too.

Lucifer finds you both 30 minutes later after Belphie disappears along with you, deadpanning and annoyed to find you two asleep in the attic. but at least you were ok, and Belphie should have at least texted everyone he found you, but he can punish his brother later, when you're not snorting in his arms.

then he'll either move you to his room or leave you here with a barrier up to keep his brothers from bothering you. it'll depend on how he feels once he drags Belphie out of the attic.

Hard Round

after your announcement, you don't even stay in the house of lamentation, belatedly realizing this house is nothing but chaos and you'll never get any sleep here without getting woken up.

bitch you're not even there, so when the brothers realize you're not in your room and then can't find you, they fucking panic.

Option 1 = Lucifer calls diavolo like 'we lost mc' and explains and Diavolo is just trying not to laugh because a few hours ago you walked into his bedroom as he was finishing getting dressed, completely ignored him, and faceplanted on his bed, falling asleep right away.

(diavolo is a busy man but he has more servants and attendatns than just barbatos, so when you finally wake up instead of getting to drop back to sleep, a pair of maids or butlers (depending on your gender) is already waiting and they brush your hair and get your dressed before nudging you along to Diavolo's ffice, where you stand inside the door blinking blearily, NOT ready to be awake yet and pissed about it. he realizes the mistake and within 5 minutes youre on his couch, head on a large pillow and a blanket draped over you.)

option 2 = Asmo panic calls Barbatos for help, almost in tears because they LOST MC! hes waiting for the demon to calm down to inform him that you were fine. you'd shown up at his door looking like you were about to pass out, groaned a greeting at him, and did in fact pass out on his bed.

(even though he's generally not supposed to, Barbaots peeks into the future a bit more than usual so he knows when you'll be awake and can have fresh food and water there when you do. if you let him he'll help you dress and feed you once you're a bit more awake, but if you want to sleep more after that he'll be ready and have chores doled out so he can lay down with you for a while.)

Stupid Easy Round

after your announcement, you don't even stay in the house of lamentation, blatedly realizing this house is nothing but chaos and you'll never get any sleep here without getting woken up.

bitch you're not even there, so when the brothers realize you're not in your room and then can't find you, they fucking panic.

if you pass out in Simeon's bed his snitch ass is going to call Lucifer before he even realises you're not in the HoL to let him know you're snoring away on his bed after walking in, dropping your bag, and zonking out the second your head hit his pillow after muttering something about not waking you up.

(Simeon keeps an eye on you, but he still has things to do. he has luke bring you food and when Luke doesn't come back, he finds Luke weakling struggling in your grip to get out. Simeon's not going to take him away from you though, so despite Luke's whispered protests, Simeon only grabs the dishes and leaves him there. when he comes back Luke is cuddling you right back and is very much fast asleep. it's just too cute and he sends the picture to the group chat with everyone. its becomes Diavolo's favorite pictures (Barbatos too, he loves you and his adoptive angel son. but both of you together? perfect. Simeon feels the same way).

Hilarious as Shit Impossible Round

HA

youre not dumb enough to leave the HoL in your condition!

but you also know actually getting sleep would be a whole ass miracle in this house

it take those idiots an hour to realize youre not in your bed and three more to look fucking everywhere for you and get a search party going.

lucifer goes down to get cerberus to try and track you, everyone thinking you somehow got kiddnapped

only to find you passed out on his dog who was happily guarding you while you slept, being more quiet and than Luccifer thought he was capable of.

many pictures are taken as Lucifer laments how embarrassing this is. It's literally his basement and despite how utterly ridiculous it is, none of them even checked it.

Several pictures are posted online. you go viral and within a day you also become a viral meme. the sheer audacity and 'dont give a fuck' energy it takes to take a nap on cerberus makes you more famous than being an exchange student ever could

and of course all of this happens before you wake up, so imagine your surprise to waking up internet famous.

well at least the memes are great, and the picture is pretty cute as well as being badass.

(the next time you go viral its also because you didnt sleep and there was an actual search party this time and Solomon is the dumbass genius bastard who thinks to check the palace catacombs and sure enough finds you asleep on Henry I)

#oh my fuck its so long #holy shit #obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me headcanons #obey me luficer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me asmodeus #obey me satan #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me simeon #obey me luke #obey me solomon #obey me cerberus #obey me henry #the snake #henry the 1st #i regret none of this #simeon would #belphie would #asmo definitely would #that self care respectful king #Clothes Changing on a Sleeping Partner is peak romance #if i fell asleep in my clothes and woke up in comfy pjs #and my (future) parnter told me they changed my clothes so id be comfy #i would literally marry them on the spot if we werent already

[inkskinned]

im gonna start a fight; and, at the same time, i need you to take this in the most good-faith way possible, but:

videos that involve body-checking and intentionally (and uncritically) show a mealplan of an unhealthy number of calories are just a revamped version of pro-ana food diaries.

and yeah, i know there's arguments. i address some of them under the cut. but at the end of the day, we're just coming back to romanticizing mental illness; we've just found a better platform for it.

this is already something we've done. we knew it was wrong and tried to stop it. and tbh. it just wasn't enough.

there are people who argue "well, what if you have an eating disorder, you can't help it if you don't eat!" except that as someone with an ED; we are not infants. we know what we're doing. part of having an ED is that you are like, maybe too self-aware. even if we can't help our own food choices, we don't need to fucking romanticize the disorder - something we've been warning you about since 2013. there are hours of setup, filming, and editing that go into these videos. they do not happen to fall into place randomly. there is a reason they are pieced together to be beautiful, bright, inspiring.

there's this woman who pretty much only posts daily plans under a normal amount of calories, and everyone defends her saying but it's better than nothing! and i'm like. except she opens those with images of her showing off her body and provides no context in the video or caption that suggests that she believes what she's doing is unhealthy. she has hundreds of thousands of followers on a platform designed for young kids and teens. i refuse to believe that by accident her content just happens to be cheery advice on "healthy" versions of starving.

for any other symptom of mental illness, we would be incredibly enraged by this kind of placid acceptance of a "tips and tricks" fast-start guide. imagine if people posted pink & pretty videos saying "best places to cut yourself" as if it was a fucking storytime. we, as a society, are so fucking fatphobic that we would rather accept blatantly harmful displays of self harm than admit that we are obsessed with a hyper-thin body type.

i am not suggesting someone never talks about their disorder. i talk about mine. actually, it's a plot point in my book.

here's the difference: i recognize it's a fucking mental illness. i am very careful to never mention a specific weight, eating pattern, or calorie plan. i always make sure to position it as something that ruined my fucking life. i do not put cheery music in the background and hearts and sparkles over my worst moments. i do not film it in bright light. i do not start each passage with an image of a thin body followed by "here's how to look like her."

eating disorders should not be framed as aspirational. and the problem is that society worships the "after" image, so long as you don't get too sick. there is a reason so many people who quit being "influencers" will later admit - i wasn't eating well that whole time; an obsession with food was completely destroying my life.

we let any uncredited, uncertified person write the most backwards, fucked up shit about how to get the body you desire! because the underlying, secret belief is: well, at least they're thin! and the real thing that fucking gets me each time - they make fucking money off of it. their irresponsibility and societal harm literally pays off for them.

"why do you care so much." "don't like it don't look." "so what if people experiment with new ways of thinking of food?"

thank you for asking. we're about to get extremely personal. it's because when i was 18 i discovered "thinspiration"/"thinspo." and it absolutely influenced, shaped, and codified my pre-existing eating disorder. i went from having some troubling habits and traits to being incredibly unwell within what felt like a matter of days. there were actual pages designed to train me on how to have an ED correctly. it was all so suddenly easy. i was sick; and the nature of the illness meant - i wanted to be sicker.

it takes an average of 7 years for a person to fully recover. i know this personally - even now, 10 years from the worst of it, i still fucking struggle. i am so much happier now and i eat what i want and i literally don't think about food at all (19 year old me would shudder) and yet - i still fucking know the calories of plain toast with butter.

an eating disorder is one of the deadliest types of mental illness. over 1 in 4 people with an ED will attempt suicide.

and i'm sorry. i just do not see the exchange rate of "high rate of engagement" versus "the value of a human life."

#and there's something else in there about like .... #tbh once i got over something like 1k followers #i stopped being specific about my ED for a REASON. #yes on ur personal locked blog that u use like a diary go ahead etc #but we are OBVIOUSLY not talking about that. we're talking about the sheer NUMBER of people i could be talking about #in that one paragraph. that you and i probably were thinking about 2 different influencers #bc they get to say that they're just posting FITNESS and if it's FITNESS it's OKAY and im like #jesus christ lord almighty #every person in recovery from an ED: this is incredibly dangerous holy shit do you know how much this would have triggered me #each of these ppl: how dare you!!!!!!!!! i am only harming those who WANT to engage with my content!!!!! #their followers: leave them alone !!! they can't help that they make an hours-long choice to frame their disorder as if it was #fucking cottagecore !!!! #like girlie this person needs THERAPY #again! i didn't even have that large of a following before i IMMEDIATELY deleted any specific mention of calories food etc #bc i recognize responsibility and i didnt EVER want to even ACCIDENTALLY encourage this #and im not even GETTING PAID FOR THIS!!! #aND THEY ARE!!! #something something something they know this content makes them money #they don't give a SHIT about u babe

[intertexts]

more of this guy eventually incoming btw

#in a maybe long time bc ive been fucking fighting w painting & also theres two more matching pieces 2 this one. #but oh my god. holy shit the only thing i like drawing is stupid little cartoon characters and backgrounds. why do i do this 2 myself... #wip #william wisp #anyway. chucking it here for 1 note & a feeling that ive accomplished something in my. checks notes. two hours that ive spent on this #thang LMFAO

[prefer-to-be-vilified]

Hi! What are your favorite Wenclair fics?👀

I’m so glad you asked and I’m about to be so extra.

This fandom is beyond talented and I have many favourites. So I might as well make this an official Prefer-to-be-vilified Wenclair Fic Rec Masterlist… post (name could use some work but you get the idea).

I’m going to try to remember/link all my favourites but I’ll probably (definitely) forget some. And also I obviously haven’t read every Wenclair fic out there, my ‘to-read’ list is intimidatingly long and personal preferences are going to play a part in the fics I have included. But if I’ve missed some hidden gems please let me know!

Under the cut because this got long…

One-Shots/Short Chapter Fics:

the Witch & the Wyld by ohHOLYmoves - Long one-shot, Wednesday’s a witch who lives in the woods, Enid’s a werewolf stuck in her wolf form, need I say more?

Reset by Eggplant_Crusader - The OG. Probably the first fic read by a good portion of this fandom. Short, sweet, what the miscommunication trope is supposed to be.

her heart is a bird on a spit in her chest by lensbian_dykely - Long one-shot, Wednesday tells her parents that her and Enid are together without informing Enid.

What does he have that I don’t? by kofeew_milkk - Jealous Enid meets Werewolf instincts.

hello there, it’s me, the bull in the china shop by bogteats - Established Wenclair, 5+1 fic leading up to their first time.

I Think I Love You by tawen - Enid gets dosed with truth serum, Enid’s in love with Wednesday…

I Can Hear Your Heartbeat by LesbihonestGuys - Wednesday is a simp coming to terms with being in love and she’s real mad about it.

sandbox love by hanjisgirlfriend - Childhood friends falling in love.

gifts from a cat by Rennajade - Wednesday being a weirdo.

She’s my mate, Yoko! by lovely_shadow_minx - Enid realises Wednesday’s her mate and freaks out about it.

i tend to handle things usually by myself and i can’t ever seem to try and ask for help by Charlie_Balle - Wednesday’s actually allergic to colour.

The Art of Courting by Athems - Wednesday tries to court Enid but Enid thinks she’s threatening her.

Please (Just This Once) by whitebeltwriter - Wednesday trying to prevent a vision and the very emotional aftermath.

Wednesday Finds a Puppy by whitebeltwriter - Wednesday finds a random puppy in the woods and thinks it’s Enid… it’s not Enid.

Are You Going To Claim Your Prize? by wintersdume - The furs make a bet over who can get Wednesday’s number, Enid gets jealous.

It’s the Uniform, Isn’t it? by wintersdume - Enid plays baseballs, Wednesday gay panics.

Mobile Etiquette by Axinite25 - Wednesday not understanding the nuisances of teenage dating/friendship.

fuel the pyre of your enemies by heliamphoria - Wenclair meet cute while committing crimes.

Scrapped Scenes by MomochiZoey - Enid’s nosy and discovers that Wednesday’s self insert Viper now has a blonde love interest.

Premonition’s Embrace by whitebeltwriter - Wednesday has a vision that forces her to admit her feelings for Enid.

if she grabs for your hand (she might want a kiss) by ipretendtobesane - Short love confession, adorable.

Stormy Weather by SspiltDecision - Wednesday’s scared of thunder, Enid helps her.

don’t talk to me or my scary goth gf ever again by Kybee1497 - Protective (slightly feral) Enid and Xavier not taking a hint.

Complete Long Fics:

Terms of Endearment by Calchexxis - AU future fic/they didn’t meet at Nevermore, Enid goes to the Addams family for help after being kicked out of her pack for not being able to wolf-out but Wednesday’s the only one home, Wednesday has visions every time they touch about different versions of them/their ancestors throughout history, SIMPING, the worlds gayest mystery, I’ve read it several times and it always hits.

Forged in Blood by RiseAboveTheAshes_203 - Post season 1, I don’t know how to describe it other than angsty devotion, if for some insane reason you haven’t read this fic do it now.

The San Francisco Incident by Apeoflight - AU future fic/they don’t meet at Nevermore, Omegaverse, Werewolf mates, falling in love, real smutty, what’s not to love?

the nature of idiosyncrasies by bogteats - One of the fics I managed to catch early on and I was OBSESSED, AU, future fic, they weren’t friends at Nevermore but Enid had a crush, Omegaverse, their dynamic in this is to die for, angsty, smutty, a real and honest portrayal of not only Wenclair but people and love in general, read it, that was a threat, if you already have read it again.

raven in the den, wolf in the nest by Barbara_Lazuli - Canon divergence, fake dating to annoy Esther Sinclair, full honesty I read this awhile ago so I’m not 100% certain what happens but I remember enjoying it, might need to do a re-read.

black marked sun by chasinghours - AU college/university, Wednesday’s Yoko and Bianca’s roommate and Enid becomes infatuated, very cute, a little angsty but nothing crazy, shy Wednesday??? if I remember correctly, gay pining, we love to see it.

Purgatory Would Be Beautiful With You by EmilyWritesStuff - In universe, WEREWOLF MATES (aka the best Wenclair trope), fun and easy read, each chapter is like a slice of their life as mates.

Dance With Wolves by wolfwars - Fake dating BUT Wednesday doesn’t realise that it’s fake (because Enid was vague af), Enid’s pining, Wednesday’s confused, great idea and really well executed.

You Are my Moon by Bee-nut - Fake dating except Wednesday commits to the bit so hard she ends up facing off against Enid’s family aka a pack of werewolves in various dangerous challenges in order to win Enid’s hand, great idea, loved every minute of it.

Old Wounds by Sharpen_your_hatchet - Wenclair reunite years after graduation, less falling in love more realising they were always in love and coming to terms with that, sweet and easy read.

So This Is Love by LoriLoud - Unhinged Murderous Wenclair… no further explanation needed.

La Petite Mort by Apeoflight AND Wednesday’s Pet by Apeoflight - Smut, they’re both smut fics, I cannot remember which was which plot wise, but same author, they’re both really good and with a good helping of falling in love, yearning, denial of feelings, miscommunication, angst… all the good stuff.

Vortex by ALotOfConfusion - Need a refresher but childhood friends to lovers, little Wednesday wants to study werewolves and I remember enjoying it.

Puppy Love by Vaniloqu3nce - Enid’s wolf starts talking to her after recognising Wednesday as their mate, havoc follows, great read.

yours, eurydice by hanjisgirlfriend - AU, future fic, they never met at Nevermore, Wednesday’s a writer, Enid’s an actress, they live across the hall from each other, they write each other love letters and fall in love, cute af, a little angsty but not too heavy, definitely a must read.

It’s hard to espresso my feelings for you by SquishiestRose - Coffee shop AU, Wednesday works at the Weathervane and she has it BAD, the platonic Wyler this world needs, a little angsty but nothing crazy, cute, fun read.

Spell It Out by forgot_my_art - A spell gone wrong leads to both a misunderstanding and an accidental proposal… I mean it’s Wenclair, of course it did, fun read.

A raven’s dream of wolf by tokyocorgi - AU future fic/they never met at Nevermore, Wednesday’s sex dreams are also prophecy’s of her future, we love to see it.

All That’s Best of Dark and Bright by Porcie - Wednesday runs from her feelings post season 1, they reunite years later, Wednesday has a vision that forces her to stay in Enid’s life and by extension forces her to confront her feelings, they’re in love the entire time while pretending they aren’t, almost soulmate-ish, a bit angsty, but a fun read.

On-Going Long Fics:

[friendly reminder to read in-progress fic as a way to encourage and support our talented writers]

I’d Eat the Sun Just to Feel Your Warmth in my Bones by MsMio - AU college/university, I still need to catch up but ANGST, childhood friends, a very interesting take on the Addams family curse, Wednesday suffers from chronic pain, a good sad read but a hopeful one.

our immeasurable ties that bind by bogteats - Fantasy type AU, some very interesting world building, Enid wakes up pregnant with no idea who she is, where she is, or how she got there, super excited to see where this goes.

Blood and Shadows by DarkVisitors - Historical AU, western vibes, angst, horny gay yearning, a vague line in the summary that alludes to them being forced to marry at gun point but it hasn’t happened yet, I am beyond invested.

A Kidnapping By Any Other Name by RavenMoon33 - Wednesday “kidnaps” Enid to spend the break with her at the Addams Estate, I’m still catching up but Wenclair antics meets Addams Family antics, Wednesday’s having visions, there’s a mystery afoot and it’s linked to Wednesday’s ancestors. I might try to squeeze in another chapter later today actually 👀 (I didn’t read the OG so no spoilers!)

Whatever This Is… by CautiouslyPessimistic - A NEW FAKE DATING AU! In universe, takes place at Nevermore, only 2 chapters so far, but well written and I’m excited to see more.

Well… That’s Knew by Chaos_of_the_valkyries - Post season 1, Enid presents as a werewolf alpha and your honour they’re mates, protective Enid, Wednesday going soft, apparently I’ve missed the last two updates??? A crime, I will be rectifying that asap.

The Bite that Binds, the Gift that Gives by TieDyeKing - Historical Fantasy-ish AU, Wenclair arranged marriage, immediate connection but they’re being cautious/don’t trust each other, beautiful imagery/world building, an intriguing plot, Esther Sinclair being Esther Sinclair (aka causing problems), only a few chapters but one of my favourites since forever ago, in love with this fic and you should be too.

Symbiotic Relationship by SquishiestRose - AU future fic/they don’t meet at Nevermore, Enid gets kicked out of her pack and ends up desperate enough that she accepts a job working as the live in servant of a woman she’s pretty sure is going to kill her (hint: it’s just Wednesday being her normal off putting self), I’m a sucker for future fics with a very isolated and lonely Wednesday learning to fall in love and this is that.

#this just took me so fucking long to do holy shit #I had stuff to do today #worth it though #wednesday #wenclair #wednesday addams #enid sinclair #enid x wednesday #wednesday netflix #wednesday 2022 #wenclair fic #wenclair fic rec #wenclair fanfic #wenclair fanfiction #asks #ptbv

[hearties-circus]

She is literally so pretty who gave her the right

#gamer txt. #bug #insect #wasp #crochet #plush #sorry sorry this is very self congratulatory but like. i am actually so fucking proud of this #like. i made that. i made that!! holy shit!! this thing i love so fucking dearly and IM the one who made it!! #i just havent made myself happy like this in so long #so im subjecting you all to my wasp again

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

IDK if you've ever said anything about it, but in the Lights Out AU, what was Wally's first reaction on realizing that Frank was alive and he wasn't alone anymore? I imagine it was...quite emotional

i Haven't talked about their Initial Reunion yet, no! but yes, it was very emotional! there were certainly many emotions!

namely: fear, confusion, shock, and nearly killing your friend with an oversized baseball bat <3

#im trying to work on a mini comic to expand on this but my art Isnt Arting Correctly #so this will have to do for now #but to put it Short and Simply #frank: WHAT THE FUCK ITS JUST ME!!! ITS ME!!! #wally: oh oops heyyyyy totally thought you were one of the Things <3 my bad <3 #wally: .... #wally: HOLY SHIT? FRANK?! #aaaaaand scene #wh lights out au #scribble salad #rambles from the bog #obviously its more complicated and less... jokey than that #i have the scene laid out nicely in my head #but putting it to 'paper' is a challenge! #there are factors to include #like how frank thinks everyone in the storage room is dead & how wally hasnt spoken more than a few mumbled words in a Long time #wally at this point has essentially lost his sense of self and basically just goes through his 'routine' like a robot #so it takes a second for his mind to kinda... reboot in a sense #and in that second frank nearly dies for realsies #haha thats... thats funny actually. Nearly. ha. the irony. #but uhhhh yeah frank really goes Through It for a bit #especially the immediate waking up through running into wally #or more like wally runs into him! purposefully! with the bat!

[lanadelreis]

drake: haha i’m gonna diss kendrick

kendrick lamar’s honest to god reaction:

#kendrick lamar #drake #drake diss #kendrick diss #kendrick #meet the grahams #like…wow #dude i don’t even listen to either of these guys but wow kendrick cooked #if i were drake i would simply move away to a deserted island and never show my face again #how do you live a normal life after that #“fuck a rap battle he should die so all these women can live with a purpose HOLY SHIT #BRO HES ALREADY DEAD 😭😭 #i know kendrick had these saved on his computer for sooooo fucking long #like absolutely desiccating this man #anyways i hope megan thee stallion is eating good tonight

[thefreakandthehair]

I’m just here trying to sleep after a long week (I know it’s only Wednesday but I am stressed and I wanted to quit my job on Monday so it’s a long week) and I’m thinking about Dustin’s birthday. Specifically his seventeenth. And maybe it’s not on the exact day, but around there, and it hits him out of nowhere

He’s the same age Steve was when a bunch of kids were shoved at him and he was told to keep them safe. He’s the same age Steve was when he almost died doing that multiple times on the same night. He’s the same age Steve was and he doesn’t think he’s even remotely prepared to handle a group of kids and doesn’t think he could have been brave enough to fight a bunch of demodogs or billy when he was spitting mad and then gotten up and gone into the tunnels afterwards.

And he looks at Steve now, more mellow, softer around the edges, with friends his own age and his bitching far more playful and affectionate with them, with his glasses and his failing hearing and sometimes anger because of those things but no regrets.

He looks at him and wants to cry because he doesn’t know how Steve did it. He doesn’t know how Steve was so brave and strong then when he was arguably still sort of an asshole and didn’t even know them aside from knowing who they were. Because that night was the first night they’d even spoken, but Steve had jumped right back in despite how they all knew he’d tried to pretend it never happened.

He looks at his brother and doesn’t understand how he’d so easily been there for them back then because trying to imagine himself in his place it just makes him feel overwhelming panic.

Because that’s when it hits

Steve was a kid too. He was just a kid, but he’d seemed like an adult to him, had carried himself with the confidence of adulthood even when Dustin knew now that it was bravado.

He thinks about the year before, when Steve had fought his first monster and been even younger. And maybe he wasn’t the youngest, that was Erica’s privilege, but he’d still been a kid and they’d all forgotten that because it was Steve, who took on the mantle of protector and carried it like a badge of honor even now.

And he hugs him, of course he does, and when they talk, they both cry a little, because Steve can finally admit how he’d felt back then, how he’d felt so out of his depth but didn’t want the kids to see his fear because he needed to be brave

Just lots of sappy thoughts about childhood and loss and moving on knowing that you were allowed to be scared when you thought you couldn’t

KAT YOU GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW. I'M SCREAMING AND CRYING! I'm gonna lose my MIND. I'm gonna climb the WALLS. I'm gonna FLY into the SUN! this is SO IMPORTANT to me now, I'm never going to not think about this, this is critical to their relationship now and I'm never going to see it any other way.

if you write it, I'll podfic it. I swear, this just flipped some switch in my brain, I'm obsessed.

#kat you deserve your own tag so this is it #asks #steve and his nuggets #headcanons #i actually had a tear come to my eye just thinking about this conversation #and dustin's realization that oh my GOD steve was a KID??? #when we're young our concept of time and age is so skewed but as we get older we understand better #and dustin is so close to steve and such a smart observant kid #he'd absolutely be the first one to be like 'oh my fucking god' #never gonna get over this holy shit #long post

[hopelesslygaysstuff]

mommy wanda slowly taking her rings off while she walks towards you before fucking you senseless >>>>>>

#holy shit #something about rings #is just so fucking hot #i know they're long too #charsgaythoughts #wanda maximoff #mommy wanda #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda x reader #dom!wanda #marvel #mcu

[coulson-is-an-avenger]

yeah im still not fuckign over arthur slitting his own throat in a desperate attempt to save himself and john from the king and losing john to the king anyways because john offers himself up willingly on the condition that the king save arthur's life WHICH THE KING DOESN'T DO and so arthur's spat back out into the freezing cold, alone alone alone bleeding out desperately trying to patch his own wound because now he needs to survive to save john and what the fuck. what the fuck was all that. what the hell and fuck. both john and arthur clamoring for the opportunity to self sacrifice to protect each other. both losing because they cannot bear to see the other lost. arthur killing and then saving himself for the same entity within the span of a matter of minutes. head deafeningly silent for the first time in months. body already on the verge of breaking from the king's torture and the prison and the dreamlands and forced back into a reality he was severed from and now alone and girls fellas gays and theys you call it madness but i call it lov&%gbfjhgkgjkfjgk*%(÷djgkjfj#&%g

#malevolent #WHAT THE FUCK AT ALL OF THAT HOLY SHIT #mossy speaks #if i think abt it too long in any capacity i will shit pants. good night #malevolent ep 20 #suicide mention #malevolent podcast #arthur lester #suicide tw